#if mike can't confront his sexuality head on

[chirpsythismorning]

Will Won't Believe Mike Has Feelings For Him, Until Mike Unpacks EVERYTHING!

In season 2, almost every touch between byler was initiated by Mike. Literally two episodes in a row at the start of that season, the camera focuses on Mike wrapping his arm around Will's shoulder warmly, only for us to never see this gesture from Mike again until s4, except this time it's with El (feat. Will in the background).

This is important because it means Mike went from initiating touch with Will in the earlier seasons, to not initiating it in the later ones, and conveniently right after he started having a relationship with El.

After holding back from initiating any contact with Will all of s3 (the same season almost all contact between them was initiated by Will for the first time), it's not until the end of the season that Mike lets go of his ih right as Will is about to leave for California, falling into his arms.

And then it takes the literal apocalypse, at the very end of s4, for Mike to wholeheartedly initiate contact with Will again (after yet another season of Will initiating most).

And so it makes sense why Will would be confused.

Because at the end of s3, Mike gives him the impression that he didn't want Will to join another party, with Will basically admitting that was the whole point of him donating the dnd game, because joining another party would literally be impossible for him, so like what's the point?

Will's feelings aren't going away. Whether or not Mike feels the same, is beside the point. Will still wants to be in Mike's life as his friend and he would be ecstatic to be best friends like they used to, entirely platonically.

After all, Will used to attribute Mike's behavior in earlier seasons as platonic, whereas bylers arguably viewed it as romantic. So Will's idea of romantic vs. platonic may very well be different than Mike's (and perhaps ours).

We tend to view those gestures as romantic, especially because Mike went from being able to do them nonchalantly, to now looking like a deer in headlights any time Will so much as slightly grazes his arm.

This is why I think Mike and Will's personal experiences with ih intersect and overlap. It affects them both differently, and that's probably because they had their realizations at different times, but it’s also probably because it started in environments that don’t resemble the exact same circumstances and experiences.

I do think because of Lonnie and because of Will's experiences growing up being bullied, he is understandably scared of being a target and that will never go away, it never does for queer people. That trauma is deep for Will and it's why he can't stand up for El in s4 when it comes to the bullies. It's why he freezes. And yet, even still, he seems a lot more comfortable in being who he is in a way that I just don't think Mike is, at least not fully or to the extent Will is (yet).

And it's because they are at totally different stages of their journey, journeys that are going to look totally different even side by side, but still qualify as both being worthy enough for acknowledgment in the end.

I hate the whole excuse regarding the girl in Will's class, because we don't really get much context there. But I'm guessing that Will obviously knew this girl sort of well. They're sitting next to each other in class, and he's been going to this school for about 6 months, so I highly doubt they are strangers.

I also am assuming they talked enough that this girl felt compelled to flirt by playing footsy, as opposed to her just being attracted to him and doing it on a whim. That obviously doesn't excuse her touching him without his consent, but what I'm trying to say is that there are girls that have liked Will for who he is, after getting to know him, who want to get to know him more romantically and he's just.... not having it.

And so if Will was craving normalcy to the point where he wanted to appear straight, dating a girl that is fully interested in him is obviously one of the popular options a person might consider in that situation. And Will's had this opportunity. This was just one of at least 3 in canon occurrences where a girl implied, 'Hey. I'm interested' towards Will. Which means all he would have to do is play along and he could keep his sexuality locked down and ignore his true feelings, by pretending to be happy in a heterosexual relationship.

We even have an unnamed fourth girl in the mix, who Will doesn't even know exists. This girl exists solely to make Mike insecure about his and Will's relationship. Because in contrast to Will, and most people that don't have extreme cases of ih, Mike views romantic relationships as shutting out everyone else, and he's scared that now that Will might be interested in a girl and moving towards a romantic relationship, he's going to shut Mike out and he'll lose him for good.

But Will doesn't have that same level of denial or self-hatred that might lead one to pursue or even simply draw out an unromantic relationship, at least not anymore. You could try to argue that in s2 Will did because he gave in and danced with the girl (at Mike's insistence), but since then, nothing.

Will is the kind of person that is comfortable enough in his sexuality to literally be single for the rest of his life, contentedly, because that would mean he doesn't have to pretend to be someone he's not to fit society's expectations. He's not scared enough about the implications of not having a gf and what people would think of him as a result. He is who he is and he's accepted that part of himself.

Mike on the other hand, has lots of expectations of himself, that he's sort of forcing himself to obey and follow. And he's also well aware of the implications of everything he does, especially when it relates to Will. He hyper-focuses on his actions and it's why he can't be fully honest about how he feels, and this is because how he has been acting as of late, is mostly an act in and of itself. An act that protects him from exploring the truth about his sexuality. An act that allows him to ignore it all together.

Every time Will has confronted Mike about his inability to be a good friend like he used to be, it's literally coming from a platonic place, not from a place of Will expecting Mike to return his love.

That's the thing, he doesn't think Mike could ever love him because he thinks Mike is straight. But he also (unlike Mike) doesn't have fears about Mike viewing his behavior as romantic, he just has fears that Mike doesn't want him as a friend anymore.

And I think that's the difference between Will's ih and Mike's.

Because Mike's ih is attributed to how he's been taught to believe he must grow up and be a certain way, according to bs media propaganda and from his family, along with how all of those ideas impacted him internally, since he has no one to really talk about it with.

And while Will has experienced some heinous shit in regards to his perceived sexuality at an extremely young age (a lot of which Mike witnessed right beside him or experienced himself firsthand) he doesn't apply those insecurities to his relationship with Mike. Even though Lonnie and those bullies and the scum of town broke him down, his mother loves him and his brother loves him and his best friend said asking him to be his best friend was the best thing he's ever done.

Mike doesn't have that kind of support going on for him when it comes to accepting his sexuality. He's scared, and understandably so.

This contrast between their characters is obvious in the way they go about their relationship, specifically in s4.

For example, Will doesn't view Mike not sending him letters as Mike turning him down romantically, he views it as Mike not caring about him at all, even as a friend.

And that's the main thing that made me have this realization about Mike's behavior in s4, and over the seasons in general because, to Mike, writing a letter to Will had romantic implications.

He sent letters to El and literally couldn't give in to send not even one letter to Will, and it's because, well, it would be too obvious (gay).

I imagine it's possible Will called Mike after they were settled in Cali, because he was still fairly certain they were on good terms considering how they left things (he has no idea Mike is spiraling over being recommitted to El again). Will had little reason to be insecure that Mike wouldn't want to talk to him, so I imagine that initially, things were at least fine.

But then it's been about a week and the Byers get a couple of letters in the mail, one for El and one for Jonathan, and... I can't even imagine what Will might have been feeling in that moment.

And then it happens again. And again. And Will is confused, because he thought they resolved things in their last conversation. He thought that they hugged and they were back to the way things used to be.

We even get this moment where Max is writing letters to everyone, EVERYONE, which makes me think Will did get letters from his other friends after the move, from Dustin, Lucas and even Max. And I think this can also be supported by a few other details. Bc if the phone line was busy, I don’t think any of the other friends would have a problem with writing Will a letter to reach him instead. And so by Dustin complaining about Mike was always whining about the Byers line being busy is an interesting choice bc, why wouldn't Dustin also complain? Wouldn't he want to call to talk to Will too.... Unless, Dustin is fully capable of getting his platonic Will fix via letters, EVEN probably ending them with love Dustin. (Will also knew what Lucas’ hair looked like in s4, which he would only really know if he got a picture of Lucas sent to him in the mail, most likely accompanied by a letter catching up).

I'm honestly guessing, that the only person who didn't write Will, not even once, was Mike.

It makes sense that in the time between s3-s4, Will attributed this behavior from Mike as him just reverting back to his s3 ways. He stopped focusing on Will and put all of his energy into worrying about El (again).

And so although Will doesn't make the effort to reach out to Mike as much as he could have, it's not because he's scared Mike will realize his feelings for him if he 'goes too far' or something. It's because he just genuinely thinks that Mike doesn't want to be his friend anymore.

And then the couple other times Mike himself calls the Byers over those 6 months, it's incredibly awkward. Something is off and Will doesn't know what it is or if it's his fault.

And this is why he puts his heart and soul into that painting.

The party was the last thing they talked about when they last saw each other. And that painting and what it represents reminds Will of a time when they were younger, when they could be themselves. Or more specifically when Mike could be himself and show how much he cared about Will, something he has been incapable of doing to the extent he would like to, for quite some time now. Will's holding onto this small ounce of hope that he just needs to prove to Mike that their friendship can still be what it used to be, if that's what Mike wants of course. And he's not scared that Mike is going to see this as romantic, or he's at least not worried about it. Why else would he put a heart on his shield and plan on giving it to him in front of everyone, in public?

Over the next few months, letters to El (from Mike), are arriving less and less over time, but they're still semi consistent. And all the while Will's just working on his painting with the purest and kindest of intentions.

Then, the day of their reunion finally comes and Will is so excited to hug Mike and give him the painting, but then suddenly, Mike is rejecting him. Instead of going in for a hug like he did at the end of s3, Mike makes his way towards Will, only to pull himself back and tap him on the shoulder instead before they can even hug properly.

Will looked very happy to see Mike, just like Mike did initially. However, in contrast, Will didn't hold himself back from the embrace at all, not until he saw Mike doing it.

Meaning ih wasn't in the way of Will in this moment, but it was in the way for Mike.

Mike's inability to simply hug him back like a friend hugs a friend, is when Will thinks, 'okay. so this painting is probably not the best idea.'

And then all day long, Will is moping, not even thinking about the implications of what it could look like. He doesn't care if he looks like a sad gay boy, because he is a sad gay boy.

Meanwhile Mike is smiling (painfully) most of the day, though we know because Mike lets it slip later, that he was too distracted by Will's moping to even enjoy himself. It was all an act. He was internalizing everything he was truly feeling and thinking in those moments.

Again we're seeing Will being quite capable of showing a full range of emotions, without him worrying about the implications that may come with it, whereas the implications of anything and everything Mike does (or even wears) is a guiding factor for why he is behaving the way that he is.

And then at Rink-O-Mania, Will says, 'what about us' and the entire byler community is gasping.. bc i mean, the guts?? the confidence? the self assurance that he must have had to say something so bold such as, 'what about us??', all while Mike is looking back at him fucking starstruck, wishing he had the balls to say something like that intentionally and not by accident.

Mike has started to be extremely careful about what he says, and in turn Will is having no choice but to do the same.

At this moment, Mike is still reeling from admitting to paying more attention to Will's mood than El who was lying straight to his face, and now Will is suddenly revealing to Mike that he missed him a lot and he was sad that Mike didn't call more...

But instead of Mike being like BRO I called. I called you every day for almost a year... he keeps his mouth shut.

This is the moment we finally see Mike's mask start to crack, because in this moment he reveals that he couldn't write to him because, "She's my girlfriend Will!" and "We're friends. We're friends.".

All of which are things Will never disputed as being basic facts.

The reality is Will isn't upset here because Mike doesn't want to do romantic coded things with him, he's upset because things that used to be platonic for them, that are platonic for most best friends, Mike is suddenly viewing as romantic now.

"But we used to be best friends," drives home this fact that Will's insecurities about their relationship are tied to Mike's behavior.

And then Mike's ih and 'detouring back into the closet' tendencies are back in full force, and it's causing Will to also cut himself short. Instead of being honest like he always is, he's stopping himself, because Mike is starting to change his tune.

It's why he walked away after the rain fight, and it's why he keeps his mouth shut instead of defending himself. Because this isn't how things used to be between them.

And that's what I find kind of tragic about their slow-burn, and I haven't seen anyone talk about this, which is that I think their experiences overlap.

I think that Mike's ih is starting to impact Will in a negative way. While Will has been learning to accept himself over the seasons, Mike's been learning to hide.

We've seen them go from a relationship early on where Mike was the reason Will accepted himself, to now being the reason he has to give him a veiled love confession, because at this point, Will has little reason to believe Mike could love him back based on his actions and his behavior.

At the end of s3, right before they hug, Will kind of just stands there waiting for Mike to hug him, like he's down to hug Mike, but only if that's what he wants. Will's ih is only starting to kick in at all now because Mike's has went from nonexistent, to value infinity. After a season of initiating all contact, Will is skeptical Mike even wants to hug him. But then Mike is falling into his arms and it's such a pure moment, because now Will is thinking, albeit bittersweetly, that things can go back to normal for them.

But they don't, with s4 essentially starting out as a repeat of s3.

Will is back to this trend of initiating all their physical contact again. First going in for a hug at the airport brightly (only to be shot down). Poking Mike in the chest at Rink-O-Mania when they're arguing. Grazing Mike's arm in the van when he gives him the painting. Reaching out to tap his shoulder during his monologue. Hugging Lucas with him. Elbowing him subtly to ask about how things are with El. These are all subtle moments where Will goes out his way to initiate touch with Mike, things that arguably Mike used to do with Will, but now only does extremely rarely, and most notably at the last second at the end of the season, after holding himself back the first 8 or so episodes.

I think what's so important about the way they approached this, is that in order for Will to truly accept and love himself, Mike has to accept himself too.

Without even realizing it, a long time ago, Mike made Will accept himself. Will was arguably experiencing a lot of ih in the first two seasons, but then suddenly it flipped, and now it's the other way around, with Will just being confused like I thought you cured me of this bro? wtf??

Will literally poured his heart out to Mike with that painting. He told Mike how he felt. He even spent the last year or so being fairly honest about how he viewed their friendship and about how he feels about him. And while Mike always makes the effort to correct things with Will, a lot faster than he does with anyone else, he's still leaving Will in the dark here.

Because while most bylers are fully convinced s4 ended things in a way that proves Mike is ready to be with Will once that opportunity arises, that doesn't mean Will is going to believe him.

Will doesn't end the season thinking Mike loves him, he ends it thinking the exact opposite.

It doesn't matter that Mike is finally reaching out to him again or that he's even standing right beside him at the end, because Will has already been through this with Mike.

He's already gotten hope that they could go back to how they were.

And even though their reconciliation in s4 seemed to resolve things, things still ended in a similar way to s3, only this time in a more grand way, with Mike telling El he loved her 9 times, and the added bonus that he apparently felt like his life started that day they found her in the woods (the same day Will went missing).

And so somethings gotta give. We cant just have a repeat of s3 and s4.

I think it's going to take A LOT for Will to even consider Mike could not only see him truly as a best friend again, but that he also returns his feelings romantically.

Sadly, despite all the beauty that is byler when it comes to them voicing how much they care about each other, Mike's inability to even want a platonic relationship is why they are in this situation in the first place. Because I honestly think Will is capable of a platonic relationship with Mike, whereas I do no think Mike is capable of having a platonic relationship with Will. And his attempts to hide his feelings have caused Will to be insecure about where their friendship lies.

And so it's going to require Will getting an explanation as to why Mike has been acting this way for so long.

Mike's not going to be able to end things with El and then manage to convince Will that its him who he loves.

This is where I think the letter comes in. I think that Will pouring his heart out in that painting, explaining all the ways Mike makes him feel like he's not a mistake, needs to be reciprocated in a similar way from Mike's end.

After the past few years of him making Will question everything he ever thought about their relationship, both Will and Mike deserve the closure that comes with acknowledging what the hell happened between them.

And I think the best way to do that is for Will to understand why Mike did what he did, because Will didn't personally have ih that gave him the urge to seek out, nor stay in unhappy relationships. Like I'm sure Will's fairly convinced that having a girlfriend is strictly straight behavior, as are most (uninformed) people.

If Mike wants to be with Will, he needs to give Will closure about why they went from best friends to strangers. And that is going to require Mike unpacking his ih in a way that Will is going to understand, once Mike finally acknowledges it instead of beating around the bush. Will is going to be able to be the thing that makes Mike accept himself, and vice versa.

And the way I think Mike is going to do that is IN A LETER (especially after convincing himself letters are romantic? boy! you better prove it!)

Once they finally do that, once they both speak to each other in their own personal love language (Will with his art and Mike with his writing), they'll finally understand each other and where they were both coming from.

And that's when they'll realize that they can overcome all these fears they've had growing up, everything that caused them this big mess in the first place, because they'll be able to get through it together.

And it's going to be so heartbreakingly beautiful and real that not even the ga is going to be able to be mad.

[afreakingdork]

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 3

RotTMNT x Reader

I can't stress how much @phoebepheebsphibs brought my vision alive for this week's chapter art~

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis:  You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

The moon moved the tides.

It was a factoid that struck you after your fateful introduction to Mikey’s family. You had to process what had occurred. You spent the better part of that next month grappling with the things they could do. Mike was already more powerful than any other human by will alone, but that should have been limited to his incredible disposition. If that wasn’t enough, he had his turtley good looks. That meant anything more was an unjust balancing of skills and yet Mikey actually did have the god-like power you had considered unavailable to him. 

After surviving the movie night, you hadn’t been able to confront Mikey properly and instead told him you were tired as a means to head home right away. Mikey chirped something about that making sense since you hadn’t flexed your going out muscles in a while and happily saw you off. It was only an hour later, tucked in your bed, that you furiously typed out a mania of messages asking if what you had seen was real. Mikey called you and you had then spent the better part of your night hearing a far too casual explanation of all the things you hadn’t put together.

Casey meant it when she had called Mikey a mystic warrior.

There was an alternate timeline.

There was an entire second city under New York.

There had been many more plots to eradicate the human race than those on the surface knew of. 

Mikey was made for one of these plans. 

It was all too much. 

Relating this and unable to sleep the entire night, you thanked the calendar makers that it was the weekend. You spent most of it in recovery mode, only responding sparsely to Mikey’s texts. He had your address now. Not sure how liberal he’d be with that information, you continued forth, trying to fit the man you knew with the one that your eyes had been open to.

Maybe it shouldn’t have been such a big deal. 

Everything you knew about life itself no longer made sense. 

There were entire world’s worth of species with supreme intelligence that had smartly relegated themselves to mythos.

Hiding in plain sight.

Anywhere and everywhere.

Besides work where you were as flighty as a canary, you secretly stared at your coworkers to see if they were any of the broached.  You felt like one of those conspiracy theorists with no way to know how far this all actually went. Almost believing that lizard people were indeed in charge, it was around that month mark when you’d awoken from a nightmare knowing your stress levels were absurd ones. Mutants were a known fact and had already dealt with their media hubbub. Yokai were ancient and hadn’t toppled society yet.

Nothing was actually different other than your knowledge of it all. 

It also rang eerily close for you. 

You’d spent your own life in the shadows for literal decades. 

How had these beings not gone stir crazy in millenia? 

You then were struck for comparing yourself. 

They were forced to. 

Fear or not, the circumstances weren’t comparable. 

Guilt drove you. 

You needed perspective. 

You wanted to be better. 

You sent Mikey a message. 

You: Would it be possible to see the Hamato powers?

In this way you could remove the mysticism from the acts, even though you were sort of sure that’s what they had called magic anyway.

For the first time in what had to be your whole time knowing Mikey, it took him over an hour to get back with you.

Getting more nervous by the minute that you had somehow insulted him. He returned just as you were leaving for work to apologize for the wait. He said he needed to round up his brothers and only asked if you wanted his dad to be a part of the show. You knew Splinter from Mikey’s explanation, but you had yet to officially meet the rat mutant. His fortitude as the legendary Lou Jitsu had seemingly appeared only in his buffed fighting strength. Now grappling with yet another superpowered person, one you had not accounted for and who could, somehow, apparently use every brothers’ power, felt like biting off a little more than you could chew. You would start with the base and work up, you decided then. One step at a time, you asked just the four for now and Mikey quickly rattled off the where and when.

The first of was a location in the middle of nowhere and appeared inaccessible to your searches. 

The coordinates were quickly followed up by an explanation that Leo would portal you as the initial demonstration. 

The date of which was scheduled later that same week.

Again, you did not have near enough time to prepare.

It seemed like seconds passed until you were in the lair and then out on a field. 

Words were happening. 

Something was happening. 

Raph then grew to the size of a glowing Godzilla. 

You stared with your head tipping so far back it felt like you cut off your circulation. Awe not to be diminished, you saw a zip of orange and located Mikey, flying, to land on his brother’s glowing snout. It might have been a cute display were you given any warning for any of this. Instead, you felt your arm tapped and your head lolled to where Leo told you to watch him. His tongue appeared bitten amongst his excited smile before he disappeared out of existence. A sizzle of sparks left in his wake, you sought him out along the ground when a flash of blue light pulled your eye. The blue brother appeared, pinballing in portals all the way up the tower before he gestured at Mikey.

Zips of orange and blue struck like fireworks all over the sky.

Taking a step back, you fell onto your ass in the soft grass.

Even from his massive height, Raph took notice of your fall and shrank down. It left him over a football field away, but he only held out a hand which then kept going. A red projection stretched all the way to your side in an offer. You took it with quaking fingers and felt how it was a solid, but empty light. No warmth other than the shade, you wanted to lean against it, but the thought made you feel all the more pathetic. This was meant to be a grounding experience. You knew Mikey. He wasn’t scary. He was your hero. He was also exploding over and over again in the sky. 

Hapless, you turned your attention to the only brother not participating.

Donnie was sat near where you had exited the original portal and was tapping away on his phone as if he couldn’t be bothered.

“Donnie!” Raph seemed to shoot along his projection and appeared holding your hand. 

You shrieked in fear and were once again on your behind.

“Sorry ‘bout that. I didn’t mean to scare ya. I can move where they do.” Raph helped you up. “But I get it, you know what helped me?”

You stared at him as nothing could help you.

“Playing Pants Pants Revolution!” Raph did a few hopping steps. “I used to trip a lot when i was a kid, but I wasn’t gonna be the big lug with two left feet forever, that’s for sure!”  

You nodded faintly.

“Wait, what was I-?” Raph scanned the ground until he found what he was looking for. “Donnie get up! Let’s go! We can show off our combo move!”

Donnie said nothing and, to your eye, hadn’t moved in the slightest outside of the swipe of his hand.

“Having trouble… ya know? Performing?” Raph knelt down beside him with a snide grin.

With a slow lifting of his head, you saw twisted fury beneath Donnie’s smiling veneer. “While I appreciate your concern…” He held the pause as if drumming up anticipation. “No. Everything is in working order.”

Raph checked around his head space. “Huh. Goading you usually works.”

“Not this time.” Donnie responded with pure ice and dropped his gaze back down to his phone.

You weren’t sure what that meant, but you had a moment to breathe. 

It broke your shuddering form to only a shaking one. 

The chatter of your body quieted, you heard a blip. 

Something akin to a spark, you were involuntarily moving toward the sound when Raph’s body collided with you. 

He held you hard to his plastron as you went tumbling. 

Air and everything else was sucked from you, leaving you unable to even cry out. 

No one would have heard it as the Earth itself sounded as if it were exploding. 

The thundering tapered off into the cloudless sky and you were left covered in grassy debris. 

Raph unfurled himself and checked you over. 

In front of you was an idyllic field. 

The disaster must have been behind you. 

You’d have to face it.  

“Guys!!!” Raph roared and left you.

“Huh. I was sure that’d work.” Leo remarked, no clearly on the ground.

“Is Y/N okay!?” Mikey squeaked before you heard plodding footsteps head towards you.

Readying for another impact, nothing came other than a delicate hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N? Oh no…” Mikey’s head appeared out of the corner of your vision. “You’re in shock!”

“It’s just so unlike you.” Leo sounded like he was upset with something else. “Oh!” You heard a snap. “I know what it is! You’re having performance anxiety!” His voice rose several teasing octaves. “Having a little stage fright there, bud?”

Donnie. 

There had been a catastrophe and he was talking about Donnie. 

“The fact…” You heard a rustling noise followed by what sounded like pants being dusted off. “… that both of you and Raph tried to provoke me using the same exhausted joke is telling.”

“Ah, Raphie!” Leo cooed affection. “You too!? Mi hermano! We are brothers!”

“Uh, guys?!” Mikey waved a hand in your face.

“Yeah, yeah in a minute, Mike.” Leo prattled off. “What’s the deal then, Donton?”

“Are we finished?” Donnie responded coolly.

“Uh, yeah maybe if you tell me why you aren’t showing off. That’s your thing, isn’t it? Validation? Remember?” Leo’s voice moved and quieted. “Did we hit him by accident?”

There was the distinct sound of a gun cocking and Leo gave the smallest fearful squeak.

“So you are good!” Raph exclaimed without real surprise.

Mikey’s head swiveled where he was examining you. “Huh? Something up with Donnie’s little purple-?” 

You didn’t see or hear what hit Mikey, but you watched him go down beside you. 

A scream started in your throat, but Leo’s hand wrapped around your mouth. “Shhh, shhh. I know. I’m sorry about this. It’s scary, right? You seem scared.”

You could see his worried face and you nodded around a few tears spilling.

“Look here. He’s fine.” Leo kicked Mikey’s limp leg in demonstration.

“We said no head shots…” Mikey groaned.

“I’m gonna let go now. Are you still going to scream?” Leo’s mask rose with judgment. 

You shook your head.

Leo carefully released, but held a hovering hand up just in case.

You sank down, barely catching yourself from outright collapse.

“Okay… Good first step.” Leo ushered softly. “It’s a lot. I get that. I’m just not a fan of bursting my ear drums anymore than they already are from… ya know…” He swiveled his wrist gesturing to what you assumed was his life. “We mighta sorta kinda maybe went a little overboard.”

You wished you had the fortitude for sarcasm.

Leo saw how he’d both understated and not explained a thing. “Okay! Fine! Mike and I were trying to do a cool landing! For you! It was gonna be awesome! We just came in… too hot! Like really hot. Like maybe surface of the Sun hot? It doesn’t feel that fast when you’ve been going hundreds of miles of hours for like fifteen or whatever minutes or hours or like ever? We may have misjudged the distance and blew a crater in this pretty nice field, but hey! It’ll grow back! It has before!” 

You felt like your very neurons were leaking out your ears. 

“And with that piss poor explanation, we’re done here.” Donnie asked, bitter. “Let’s go.”

Leo glowered over his shoulder.

You still hadn’t turned around.

“What is your problem, man!?” Leo snapped, moving out of your sight.

You had to look.

You needed to see what had happened.

Dispel the mysticism.

“Me?!” Donnie growled. “You of all people should see!”

“See what? I apparently need enlightening because why else would I be asking?!” Leo huffed.

Fisting grass, you got one of your shoulders down which popped at the strain.

“You! All of you! How you show your entire hand! Email me so I can print out and bind your whole playbook!” Donnie yelled. 

“What are you even talking about!?” Leo matched his volume. 

Glimpsing Raph’s leg, you were almost there.

Silence chased your ears.

The two weren’t fighting anymore. 

“You cannot be serious.” Leo gaped. 

Not even the wind sounded through the grass.

Passing two more sets of green legs, you found a mound of dirt nearly twice the size of the already tall turtles.  Hobbling to your knees just to see it better, you stumbled sideways until you could see how the Earth churned the Earth like ice cream.

Your legs gave out a third time.

This was nothing compared to the climbing wall. 

Leo and Mikey had fallen from the sky. 

They had done this to the ground. 

Both of them were walking without so much as a scratch.

Raph had saved you. 

“Y/N?”

You looked up to see both Raph and Mikey had followed you.

Mikey looked particularly unmarred without any evidence of whatever had knocked him over.

The younger reached first and you scrambled backwards unconsciously.

The pair mixed their surprise and concern while the other two picked up their bicker as an odd backdrop.

“I-I’m s-sorry…” You got out meekly, getting to your own feet. “L-Leo was… r-right…”

“Someone say my name?” In a twirling gesture, Leo danced away from Donnie and split the sunset.

Before a solar eclipse closed the gap, you saw Donnie send some ire after Leo before he sent pure rage at you.

What had you done?

A star sparkled to distract you and Leo bent forward so he was at your eye level. “How’s it hanging? Weak in the knees? We have that effect on people.”

Your gaze slammed to the ground. 

You were never good with people like him.

One minute he was quieting you and not it was teasing. 

Where Mikey manipulated people earnestly, Leo did it with slick speech.

“Hey.” He popped a squat. “Minus one humpty dumpty who got put back together with a stick shoved up his butt, I can tell you this was pretty fun.”

Covering your mouth with a nervous fist, you found it impossible to look him in the eye. 

He went on. “It’s not very often we get to show off. We wanted to impress you both for us and Mike’s sake. We just got a little too excited is all.”

You managed what you thought might be a nod.

“We’re heroes.” He did a form of jazz hands in your vision. “Nothing to be scared of. We use our powers for good… mostly.”

Giving a little exhale, you looked over his spread digits.

“So like maybe once in a while I skip airport security and the whole passport situation, but look at this face! I’m too beautiful for those terrible license pics, don’t’cha think?” One of Leo’s hands left your vision. 

He appeared to be waiting so you snuck him a glance. 

Leo was indeed patient with his chin dropped into a purlicue for a comical glamor shot.

It helped you hold his gaze. 

“Fess up! What else we got boys?” Leo spoke at you, but not to you. 

“Mayhaps Raph has made dummy duplicates to hold his place in line.” Raph pretended to be sheepish, but his smile said he thought himself clever.

“I’m pretty sure I’m wanted in like two countries.” Mikey grinned far too bright for what he’d just said.

“And he who is being a purple pain in my ass is on the FBI, CIA, MMA, or whatever three letter combination you can come up with watch lists.” Leo waved his hand.

“They all lag light years behind my security.” Donnie’s phone was back at his attention. “Though I somehow doubt the intelligent monitoring systems of mixed martial arts,a sport mind you, consider my status.”

“These are just ninja perks.” Leo offered you a hand.

Your index finger made the trek in a nervous twitch until you just barely skirted Leo’s palm.

“There ya go. Look at you.” Leo ushered as if you were a scared dog.

“Kinda demeaning…” You blurted out quietly.

It caused Leo to blink his eye’s wide. 

Mikey burst out laughing and had to hang onto Raph to stay upright.

Great indignity blossomed on Leo’s face before he rose away from you in one upright shot. “Fine! You know what?! We are going home! Woof, woof Mad Dogz! We’re homeward bound!!”

Walking through the portal, you weren’t sure if you’d accomplished what you’d hoped. It wasn’t until later after you showered that you learned you’d earned a seat in the Hamato’s home. Mikey was ecstatic over it, texting you a mile a minute about how Leo casually suggested he should bring you over. At first you didn’t understand why. Mikey taking you under his wing was one thing, but Leo would need an angle. You doubted the blue brother did charity work. When you tried to relay this to Mikey, he only seemed to think the exact opposite of his brother. 

You had no choice, but to believe Mikey. 

You took those thoughts to bed and decided to try to parse out more information in the morning. 

Wary and quick to hold grudges, Leo was described to you as someone who was a good judge of character. Mikey supported his claim with stories of Leo’s leadership and you clutched your phone tightly where you were riding public transit to work. The bus ride rocked you in a soothing manner and you considered what it meant for Leo to see something in you. You weren’t sure if it was like Mikey’s interest, but there’d also been a shift. 

In a way, you thought yourself scared shitless. 

You weren’t sure if your nerves were currently so shot that you no longer cared or if, in your horror, you’d gotten past the point of fear, but you’d reached an accepting state regarding the Hamato’s powers. If anything, when you thought of them now it came with a state of neutrality. Not sure if it would last, you asked Mikey for time. He said it was no problem at all, he knew his family was a lot, and you wished you could clarify. He was just as tightly packed in with the others and you needed to process. Phone loosening in your hand, you settled into your seat to think. 

You’d survived your encounter. 

That counted for something. 

They were undoubtedly heroes. 

You knew the stories everyone else did, even if there were things the public weren’t privy to. 

There was still your quest to be more outgoing. 

Could you argue you were too far to back out now?

The moon moderated the planet’s wobble.

You spent several days going back and forth on the matter before you found your nerves were still on a steady course. Trusting those more than your mind, you accepted Mikey’s invitation to officially come over to the lair. Done after you’d gotten home from work, your phone rang as soon as the message was confirmed as read. Mikey demanded your immediate attendance as he was baking cookies. Telling him you didn’t actually know the way, he clarified that the oven wasn’t even preheated and he was now going to make cookies because you had said yes.

It helped. 

He helped. 

You laughed and he asked to come pick you up.

It was the first of many. 

Your cookie filled coronation had been a quaint affair. 

Leo, Mikey, and you shared the treats while everyone else was busy. 

A cheers done with milk solidified the deal. 

The lair was now added to your selection of safe havens and Mikey appeared on your stoop as your herald more and more often. Never arriving without your authorization, he seemed to adore his attendant duties and joked about driving you. After Leo’s comment about licenses you weren’t so sure any of them had one and, when prompted, he seemed to confirm they didn’t. Still, there was no need for a car in the city so you both either hung out in the lair or continued your outings. 

The latter of which had started up because you began to visit Mikey’s home. Each Hamato with their own idiosyncrasies and you found them to be an equal test of your mental fortitude. No matter how much they depleted your social battery though, they were a fun bunch and you brought them close to your heart. It would have shifted all your life for the better if there wasn’t one exact turtle sized problem you were also dealing with. 

Donnie hated you.

You had no idea why.

No matter how many times you ran through the very small amount of time you’d interacted with him, you couldn’t find the point in which you’d garnered the anger.

You did research. 

You looked for a custom that might have been broken. 

You ran every mental scenario you could possibly imagine. 

From stepping on his dropped contact lens to accidentally taking his special stapler, you’d gone through thousands of scenarios. 

It got you no closer to solving the problem. 

His wrath was impervious. 

In the handful of times you’d been to the lair, he appeared as soon as you entered. Like the moon hanging around the day’s sky after its night watch, he only loomed. It was as if he knew the moment you entered and came just to glare daggers at you. If you mistakenly caught his eye, he was unperturbed in knowing you saw him. For you he had no shame, but if anyone else tried to follow your haunted eye line, he would suddenly be looking in any other direction that wasn’t yours. Trapped under his omnipresence, you often escaped to the bathroom just for a reprieve.

Your longest record of surviving his gaze currently sat a measly 32 minutes undisturbed.

Multiple trips were embarrassing in their own right, but it at least gave you room to breathe. You found it a safe haven right up until the moment it wasn’t. You guessed you should have figured that eventually you’d be found out. Several visits deep and your excuses running thin, you emerged to find Donnie standing right outside the door. You were trapped between porcelain and him. Your pause yet another misstep, your knees knocked together as he stormed toward you with flowing fury.

“Why were you excused from jury duty last year?!”

It was so out of left field, you had no answer for him.

“Well!?” He used his height to tower over you. 

“I-I… d-don’t…?��

You barely remembered the moment. 

You’d been pardoned more than once. 

You usually never did anything to garner them. 

Somehow narrowing his gaze further, Donnie clicked his tongue and made a comically wide steer to get around you.

Growling to himself the entire way, he disappeared around a corner.

It wouldn’t be the last. 

As if that question was an experiment all its own, he now knew he could approach you as soon as you strayed from the group. 

He appeared the moment you did with some ill gotten question.

It wasn’t funny, but it painted him a detective at his wit’s end.

“Why’d you fail 10th grade geometry!?”

“You claimed Amanda was your best friend in elementary school, but there were two Amandas in your class. Which one was it?!”

“Did you leave your last food service job because you never paid for those tacos you offered to comp?”

Whether you answered his inquiries or not, he didn’t seem to care. You only assumed he was getting something out of the exchanges because he kept going after you. While his questions were expected, you could never prepare. He had all manner of dirt on you which became more invasive with time. He was already pervasive enough, but the fact that he’d gotten you to admit to stealing a marble from a craft store when you were four was borderline harassment. 

Even then, that still wasn’t what he wanted. 

You were ashamed to admit you were leaving the lair earlier and earlier. 

Something had to be done. 

You knew that. 

Mikey was starting to notice. 

He didn’t see Donnie, but he saw you. 

Mikey was clearly bending over backwards to ensure your comfort. 

It made the situation worse. 

All because you refused to rat Donnie out.

You couldn’t. 

Not when Mikey adored Donnie. 

Not when this was clearly your fault. 

Not when you would only suffer more if you did anything to disrupt this family’s balance. 

You were new. 

Donnie was mad. 

Donnie also cared about his brothers. 

He was fiercely protective. 

You were aggravating him because you hadn’t figured out what you had done wrong yet. 

You could last a little bit longer. 

You’d figure it out. 

You’d fix it. 

You couldn’t ask for more help. 

This was happening because of you. 

Still, you made about as much progress in your plight as Donnie did his. Early departures from the lair soon turned to you dreading even arrival. While Mikey’s sunny day had once been a safe bubble, Donnie’s distrust was that of a gas. It grew noxious and suffocating until it filled your lungs to the point of bursting.

You had to hold out. 

The moon stabilized climate.

An invitation came. 

You had heard story of the famous Hamato movie night, but you didn’t dare think you’d be offered a seat. It was a special affair held once a month and unlike any other. It marked the adult family carving time out of their busy schedules to get together. It was for them and not something you felt longing for. Instead, when Mikey mentioned it in passing, you felt a warmth in your heart at how studiously they were there for one another. 

Staring at Mikey’s casual call for you to come by during one almost felt like a mockey. 

What had you done to earn a seat at the proverbial table? 

Were they a democratic bunch?

Donnie must have voted no to your attendance. 

Had the majority agreed?

If you thought about it for too long then you could convince yourself that all of them had vetoed you in some way. 

Still, you didn’t feel like you could pass up the momentous offer. 

This was important to Mikey. 

It was important to you.  

Attending found a packed lair and a chance for you to put faces to the last outliers in the clan. Hit with a whirlwind of names you weren’t sure you could remember and painfully trying to come up with a pneumonic device to keep from screwing everything up, Mikey abandoned you as soon as he was asked to make his famous rice krispie treats.

Knowing it wasn’t malicious and instead a show of how he trusted you to get along with his family, you tucked yourself into a far bean bag in an attempt to become as small as possible. On the outskirts of the herd, the others were too savvy for their own goods and you were soon pelted with questions. With your safety blanket several rooms away, you tried to answer, but the speed of the questions picked up until voices seemingly came from every direction. Mouths freely floating, it triggered a painfully ingrained fight or flight that you were about to give into when one voice cut through the crowd.

“When are you finally going to admit your villainous intent?”

Donnie’s question had the caliber of a gunshot. 

Its reverb silenced the crowd. 

It then permeated a cloud layer where all hell broke loose.

Wild like spring, April smacked Donnie up the back of his head. “Do you hear yourself?!”

A perky pulp, Sunita dropped to her knees beside you and mistakenly screamed in your ear. “Omigosh!! Don’t listen to him!!”

Blunt and wrapped in unbreakable binds like the hockey stick she carried, Casey sneered until her upper lip rolled back. “O’Neil’s strikes have dislodged something in your brain! I’d sniff out the indoctrinated in a second if there were one!”  

“Are you still going on about this?” Raph groaned.  

“It doesn’t make sense!” Donnie sprouted rotors and flew out of Aprils’ reach. “If you would just listen! Use your brains for a moment then you’d see! You were all tested! Each of you earned your spots! Then this one walks in and gets a free pass!? Why!?”

As if inciting war, sides were taken up with arms.

“I call challenge!!!” Casey screeched to an echo. “In the bonds of combat we shall unearth true intention!!”

“That’s not how friendship works!” April climbed onto the couch in an attempt to leap after the purple turtle. “You don’t have to fight to become friends!”

“It helps, does it not O’Neil?!” Casey launched herself at April. 

Sunita intercepted. “You know what I find always works?! A group hug!! One time my aunt Chloe and my other aunt Rachel were in a multi-year fight over who stole whose college boyfriend and after they hugged it out and had to spend the next three days separating their jellies, they came out of it closer than ever!” 

“Classic movie night!” Leo cheered through a mouth full of popcorn.

“Donnie, look what you did!” Raph pointed down at the floor. “Get down from there right now!”

Maniacal laughter followed from multiple sources and you pulled your legs to your chest.

They were fighting.

You were the cause.

You failed. 

You ruined movie night on top of everything else.

Why couldn’t you solve it?

You had only needed to make up with Donnie.

Then all of this would stop.

You just had to make it stop.

Everyone just needed to stop.

Hands going over your head, a single thought popped up.

Donnie would be happy if you only removed yourself from the situation. 

Unfurling until a toe touched the floor, you heard a loud whirr and Donnie slammed down to his feet to block you. 

“No way! Nuh uh!! You think you’re going to leave?! Sneak away during all this commotion!?” He held his hands out, passing off ownership of the orchestrated chaos. “You’ve created this… this… distraction!” Finding the word, he loomed over you with an expression dripping with sadism. “I think it’s about time you took my lie detector test. One that actually works…” His fingers writhed to grab you and tears burned fresh in your eyes.

Something metallic was struck and its tuning fork hum rang in your ears.  

“What are you all doing!?” Mikey stood with flowery oven mitts on and the ruins of his rice krispies spilling out from the tray he’d dropped. “Y/N?!”

Casey roared to life at the same time as Donnie.

“We are preparing to test the grit of your baby soft acquaintance!”

“This has to be done, Mikey! We have to know for sure!”

“Know what?!” Mikey screamed.

A geomagnetic storm, orange electricity flicked off of him like a plasma ball.

Except there wasn’t a casing.  

As he closed in, you felt it cause the hairs on your arms to stand on end.

“What they have over you!” Donnie was pleading insanity. “What they’ve done! How they’ve tricked you into letting them hang around!”

“Donnie, that’s enough!!” Leo appeared with a hand to Mikey’s shoulder.

You stared as the orange energy began to obviously sear Leo’s skin, but he didn’t let go.

This was all your fault.

“You’re jealous! We get it!! But you need to stop making it everyone else’s problem!” Leo continued. 

The indignity hit Donnie with an inhale that seemed to never stop.

“Mike’s allowed to have his own life outside of you! Outside of us! Can’t you be happy for him? Don, seriously?! Take a second, a breath. Then we can finally talk about this instead of you always running away-!“

Donnie launched himself with a swinging arm toward Leo, but an orange chain appeared to wrap around his arm.

Coming from seemingly nowhere, Donnie was yanked. 

“Mikey…” Raph warned, getting up slowly.

“You know how unfair it is!?” Mikey shouted as orange glowing pools of sunshine overflowed and dripped down his face. “How I’m a whole adult and you all still treat me like a baby! How I’m still not trusted to make decision on my own! How I go along with it to make you all happy!” Mikey spun from addressing the room to send his pupil-less gaze at Donnie. “Why can’t you trust my judgment on this!? On anything!?”

“Because!” In a burst of purple energy, the orange chain shredded to bits. “Because you do this! Because you still lose control! Because you never did keep up with the training Draxum started you on! Because all of you! You!!!” Donnie threw a finger into Leo’s face. “Just YESTERDAY I was the reason you didn’t eat shit in the Hidden City because of my obsessive monitors! I caught that Yokai trying to attack you! Me!! And why did that happen!?” Donnie threw his arms out and spun around to April specifically. “HRM!?”

April only frowned. “Cause Leo didn’t trust that axolotl, but Donnie-”

“On a hunch!!” Donnie hissed, turning back to Mikey and Leo. “So, don’t give me that making it someone else’s problem crap. You’re just as paranoid as me! As Raph!” Donnie zeroed in on Mikey. “Not you though. You get free reign from our worries!”

“How could you say that!?” More molten tears exploded from Mikey’s face.

One hit the floor and sizzled.

“I’m the one who watches you!” Mikey cried.

“Then stop! Your duty is self imposed anyway! No one asked you to be the family therapist! You force it on us like everything else!!!” Donnie screamed.

Leo looked away.

Raph rubbed the back of his head.

“You create a Doctor of the hour because it makes you feel useful.” Donnie dropped his volume for pure scathe.

Mikey’s gaze hit the floor where he was burning very real divots into it.  

“You take care of that and I’ll take care of this.” Donnie coolly glanced at Leo who was still avoiding eye contact before he zeroed in on you.

You wished you were an ant so you could drown yourself in an acid pool of Mikey’s tears.

“My lie detector is only mentally invasive. I want to run a single test. I will find out what hold you have on my little brother.” Donnie nodded for you to follow him.

Could you go?

You felt like if you took a single step you would pass out.

Were you breathing?

Was this the end?

It felt like Donnie was the mad scientist and any prick from him would cause you to become a husk. 

Maybe then you’d finally match your worth. 

“Is it…?”

Mikey’s voice was near silent, but the whole room turned toward him.

Bringing his head up, those same orange tears were flowing, but they now lifted free from gravity and drifted away from his face.

There they formed dangerous globules in the air. 

“… so hard to believe…?”

He took a step forward and with it the very energy was drained from the room. 

Everything took on an orange hue.

“…that I COULD JUST HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE!?!”

Like a solar flare, Mikey released a shock wave from the power he’d pulled.

💛NEXT💛

Much love to my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

do u have any horror recs for other mediums? tv, podcasts, books, youtube shorts, etc

I'm really gonna show my ass in this regard because most of my recommendations are going to be TV shows or short stories because I haven't branched out much beyond that if I'm honest.

I love The Haunting of Hill House (Nell Crain is my favourite horror character full stop) and The Fall of the House of Usher from Mike Flanagan (most of his shows are incredible but these two are my favourite).

THOHH: Flashing between past and present, a fractured family confronts haunting memories of their old home and the terrifying events that drove them from it.

TFOTHOU: To secure their fortune (and future) two ruthless siblings build a family dynasty that begins to crumble when their heirs mysteriously die, one by one.

The Exorcist (2016) was great!

The Exorcist follows two very different priests tackling one family's case of horrifying demonic possession. Father Tomas Ortega is the new face of the Catholic Church: progressive, ambitious and compassionate. He runs a small, but loyal, parish in the suburbs of Chicago. Father Marcus Keane is an orphan raised since childhood by the Vatican to wage war against its enemies. He is everything Father Tomas is not: relentless, abrasive and utterly consumed by his mission.

I really liked American Horror Story: Asylum, can't say the same for the other seasons.

AHS: Asylum takes place in 1964 and follows the stories of the staff and inmates who occupy the fictional mental institution Briarcliff Manor, and intercuts with events in the past and present.

I also liked a few South Korean shows I saw on Netflix.

Kingdom (2019): While strange rumors about their ill King grip a kingdom, the crown prince becomes their only hope against a mysterious plague overtaking the land.

All of Us Are Dead (2022): A high school becomes ground zero for a zombie virus outbreak. Trapped students must fight their way out or turn into one of the rabid infected.

Hellbound (2021): People hear predictions on when they will die. When that time comes, a death angel appears in front of them and kills them.

I loved Interview with a Vampire (especially because it does everything the movie didn't, which is why I didn't like the movie). it's very gay, it plays heavily into the themes of vampirism and sexuality, and I love Sam Reid and Jacob Anderson as Lestat and Louis.

In terms of other media, I really like the Dead Meat channel (if I haven't said it enough already), I also like the Scream Dreams Podcast with Catherine Corcoran (from Terrifier), James A. Janisse (from Dead Meat) and Barbara Crampton (prolific and stunning horror actor).

I know it's a little over done now, but that original series of 'The Backrooms' by KanePixels was great.

Some other horror channels/channels that explore horror as well as other topics are SpookyRice, MistaGG, Wendigoon, ElvisTheAlien, BionicPIG, Trin Lovell, KennieJD, MertKayKay, and AmandaTheJedi.

With books, I'm such a basic bitch, so I've really only read Stephen King's horror books. I'm not sure of this is horror or just very bleak and depressing but I'm Thinking of Ending Things was an incredible reading experience. And at this point it goes without saying House of Leaves is so fucking mindblowing!

H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe were terrible people, but their short stories are truly so dark and well-written, the cosmic horror Lovecraft is known translates best in his writing. Ambrose Bierce is the father of psychological horror as we know it, his short stories are great. My favourite short horror story is The Yellow Wallpaper. If you are interested in an audio version of it, listen to Chelsea from the Dead Meat channel with headphones (headphones are vital to that experience).

That's all I can think of off the top of my head for now! I'm sure others will give their own recommendations.

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go.

Chapter 12.

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut.

Your feet led you while your eyes could only see fire. You ran, ignoring voices that called after you as your breath caught in your chest, choking you.

How had it been possible for him to survive, to end up here?

It was like fate enjoyed the cruelty of it. Confronting you with the worst parts of your past as it handed you your future with the ranch, with Troy. And how would you explain it now? You fell to the ground, heaving up the little that was in your stomach into the grass and you tried to bring yourself back to reality.

You could feel the blood on your hand growing cold and sticky. You began to wipe it on the grass frantically, trying to rid yourself of the stain. You tried to blink your eyes clear, tried to work out which way the main house was so you could find Troy. Everything would be okay if you explained... somehow...

A set of hands on your shoulders tried to turn and lift you from the ground. You screamed.

Thrashing at the stranger and confused as to how he had managed to survive again and follow you all this way, you kicked and screamed until the hands let you go. You fell hard on the grass but didn't waste time for him to get his hands on you again as you forced yourself up and started running again. It was so dark you could barely see, you'd run too far from the main camp.

A voice shouted out, then heavy footsteps followed, faster than your own. He was going to capture you, he'd take you again, he would hurt you-

A shadow in the darkness appeared in front of you, illuminated only as the clouds moved to allow moonlight to stream down. You cried out as Troy came toward you with open arms and eyes wide and alert as he saw the blood, your tears...

You ran into his arms, shrieking and gasping. With one arm tight around your shoulders urging him behind you the other pulled a gun from his side and aimed it at your pursuer.

Mike came to a halt, skidding in the dirt as he raised his hands and stared at his friend.

"Whoa, easy..." he panted.

Your grip on Troy's back eased as you too stared at the man who you thought had meant to harm you, too shaken with adrenaline and confusion to form words. Unfortunately Troy could only glance at your stricken face, his eyes falling to your shirt which you suddenly realised had been torn when you'd been grabbed in the medical tent, and then at his oldest friend who had began to ramble as he panicked, realising exactly how the situation looked. You realised it too and tried to speak, to tell Troy to put down the gun, but all these things happened in a matter of seconds and you could see the murderous intent in Troy's eyes as his knuckles turned white around the guns hilt just before he fired.

Your hands grabbed at his wrist, forcing the gun down and to the side.

Mike screamed before collapsing onto the dirt...

XXX

"What in the blazes happened here tonight!"

Jeremiah was furious. He paced behind his desk as Troy sat with his head in his hands.

"It was... a misunderstanding." he said lamely, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes to try and eradicate the image of you - blood smeared on your cheek, eyes red and pouring tears - and his friend, screaming on the ground as he rolled from side to side, his foot clutched in his hands.

"A misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding leaves the head of my militia shooting at his own men and a dead man bleeding all over Jake's med tent?"

Troy wished he could explain, but even he didn't yet know the full story. The sound of screaming and gunfire had of course drawn attention. The militia had come running, Jake and his father too, to find Troy stood over Mike with the gun pointed at his face whist you tried to tell him something through your sobs.

"Not him. He didn't-" was all Troy could make out when Jake had tackled him from the side and knocked the gun from his grip. Jeremiah had hauled Troy into his office, barking orders for Jake to tend to Mike and for Cooper to find out what the hell was going on.

You'd tried to follow but Jeremiah had spat something at you that Troy hadn't been able to hear over all the yelling and you'd faded from his view as Gretchen Trimbol placed an arm around your shoulders and turned you away from the scene.

Troy lifted his head as his father's words sunk in.

"The man we brought in, he's dead?"

Jeremiah threw himself down in the chair behind his desk and looked at Troy with eyes that burned.

"Stabbed in the neck with a pair of scissors. He was still tied to his bed. And you wanna hear the kicker?"

Troy felt something sickly settle in his stomach as he waited for his father to continue.

"It was your soulmate who saw him last."

Troy scowled.

"That's not possible. She was waiting for me, in the bunkhouse..."

"Then how exactly did she end up halfway across my ranch, screaming and looking like one of those broads that gets killed at the beginning of a horror movie?"

Troy pressed his lips together as he tried to put together the events of the night. He'd thought Mike had attacked you. Perhaps it had been a misguided assumption but finding you fleeing in the dark, your clothes torn and dirtied as you sobbed whilst Mike appeared looking like a wild thing in the moonlight... what else could he have thought?

His only instinct had been to protect you. From the moment he'd been woken, sprawled across his bed and confused by the lack of daylight, he'd only felt terror. It had been just like before, when he'd followed you to the collapsing cabin and seen that man on top of you. He'd known it wasn't his fear he could feel, but yours.

A knock came from the main entrance. Jeremiah sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes as he called for whoever it was to enter.

Cooper appeared, looking apprehensive as you darted out from behind him and strode into the room.

"This is all my fault," you said, not looking at Troy but only at his father.

Troy jumped to his feet to move to you, but you deliberately avoided looking at him as you came straight up to Jeremiah's desk with your back rigid and hands clenched at your sides.

"I killed the man in the tent-"

"Stop-" Troy tried to interrupt but both you and his father raised a hand to silence him. It was an action that unnerved him, leaving him feeling bitter but still wanting to pull you out of his father's fierce gaze.

"I recognised him from the city. He attacked me and I acted in self defence-"

Your words came out quick and breathless and Troy could see how you shook as you pushed on.

"He was tied up." Jeremiah pointed out.

You shook you head slightly and dropped your gaze down to your feet.

"I cut him free, just one hand, when he started vomiting. I didn't recognise him then, because of the bandages."

Jeremiah nodded as if to give you permission to continue. Troy watched on as if he were stood outside of his body, knowing that look on his father's face.

"He grabbed my shirt. I panicked and grabbed the scissors..."

You couldn't bring yourself to say anymore.

"It was quite a sight to see, when I'd followed you down to the tent to find him bled out on his bed." Jeremiah said flatly.

You flinched. It had been barbaric. Violent. But so were the things he'd done to you. Would you have to finally speak of those days, when you'd thought for sure you would die in the ugliest way possible?

You could feel Troy standing behind you, watching you. You reached inside for the sense of ease that came with being in his presence but found only tension.

You took a shaking breath.

"He... was not a good person." was all you could manage, your voice faltering.

If Jeremiah truly hated you now was his chance to torture you, to make you relive the horrors you'd been subjected to and have Troy have to hear each detail.

Instead his eyes looked at you pensively in the moments that passed in silence.

"And Mike?"

You almost let out a long sigh of relief that he was not intending to push for more information.

"He was meant to be on guard. He was late-"

Troy cursed under his breath but you ignored him.

"-he must have seen me run from the tent and come after me. Then Troy was there and everything just happened so fast-"

Jeremiah waved his hand in the air and you snapped your mouth shut. His drunkenness had seemed to have passed and now he simply looked tired.

"Well it's a damn good thing you only shot him in the foot," he said, finally moving his gaze back to his son.

Troy nodded once but remained stoic.

Mike. He knew he should feel something for having assumed the worst, for having tried to kill him for something that had never happened. Instead he felt nothing.

He always felt nothing... unless he could feel you.

You who was still standing with your back turned, unable to meet your eyes.

He was not a good person. Troy repeated those words to himself silently. He remembered the knife in your hand as you'd stood over Derek, the way you'd looked to him almost for permission before doing the only thing you could for an animal like that. Putting it down.

Although Troy told himself he usually felt nothing, he knew that wasn't true. He'd just gotten so good over the years at making himself numb to his surroundings he'd thought he'd forgotten how to feel. Now guilt uncurled in his gut.

He had brought the man here.

He had left you alone and broken his promise to walk with you and somehow you'd ended up in danger. One fuck up after another, just like he always did. Just like his mother had always told him.

In his chair Jeremiah was scratching at his unshaven face and speaking with Cooper, who was still standing silently by the main door. Troy vaguely heard them speaking of Jake and Mike, but he could barely comprehend what they were saying.

At least his father had calmed down. But Troy knew there would have to be consequences. There always were.

[apatheticlexicographer]

BYLER FIC REC WEEK DAY 1: POST-CANON recs

All We Need Is Time by SlytherinsAndSnitches

will-centric; some plot. one of my favourites, it’s “friends to enemies to strangers to ???” will has depression, and in the three years since S4 he’s drifted from the entire party. he and mike had a bad falling out, but when they become coworkers at the record store they’re forced to reconnect. as if that wasn’t enough, will is starting to show the signs of vecnafication. the angst is deliciously agonizing and the plot is just starting to kick in. multichapter, just came back from hiatus a few days ago

the gaps and the silence by delusionaltogether

will-centric; no plot. the supernatural events of S4 never happened, but mike’s awkward visit was basically the nail in the coffin for their friendship. will never left lenora, and he’s now busy majoring in art and avoiding people as much as physically possible. he’s taken off guard when mike, who shows up in town with the sole purpose of reconnecting with him, casually admits he used to have a crush on him. the mutual pining is stronggggg and neither of them are smooth T_T longshot, complete

Lost Without You by Julia_Skysong

alternates between mike-centric and will-centric; some plot. will and mike are 26 now and haven’t talked in years, since mike disconnected himself from the entire party. will has a career writing comics based on their experiences with the upside down. mike surprises him when he brings his 7-year-old daughter to one of will’s signings, causing them to reconnect. this fic deals with a lot of heavy topics about homophobia, trauma and addiction but it’s not a constant misery-fest. will and mike’s reblossoming friendship is very sweet and mike’s daughter is adorable. the burn is slow but it suits the story perfectly and feels a lot more healthy and organic than rushing into things. love isn’t framed as a cure-all for their issues, and i really appreciate that. multichapter, ongoing

I’m a Wreck (Without You Here) by TalkingToTheLights @talkingtothelights

mike-centric; some plot. 33 year old mike has been distancing himself from his friends and family for years, but a tragic death forces him to return home and confront everything he’s been hiding from. the angst is strong and MCD is part of the core premise, but i promise it’s not will who died. mike is a mess for real. multichapter, ongoing

the darkest hour by AmberEyedFox

mike-centric; no plot. mike finally gets his head out of his ass after he breaks up with el. some of the headcanons in this fic aren’t what i typically gravitate toward, but it’s written in such a captivating way that i don’t care. the byler is soft as hell, what more do you want from me. long AF twoshot, complete

The Crossover by nbfutureboy

will-centric; plot. the party are all grown adults now. will writes horror comics and mike is in a band. they haven't talked in years, after an explosive fight. they're both slated to attend the same convention, but will's plans to avoid mike are derailed when he mysteriously vanishes. the mystery is so cool! multichapter, ongoing

Path of the Paladin by olliecoddle

mike-centric; sorta plot. 23yo mike has a terrible fuckin time! the fic. featuring ted wheeler's funeral, mike's very messy relationship with will, his even MESSIER relationship with his sexuality, and copious amounts of D&D lore as a thematic framing device. multichapter, ongoing though it's been a minute since last update

I Didn't Run, I Was Not Done by ryoukootonashi

will (and richie)-centric; plot. when will goes to college his assigned roommate is richie, who keeps overhearing will talking about the weirdest shit to his friends. richie is still suffering from clown-induced amnesia and would really like to know what the fuck is going on. another "can't believe it's not not crack!!!" fic lmao. multichapter, ongoing

[phantomtownx]

my name is [ SAMUEL MILLER ] … and i am from [ HELLTOWN, OHIO ] and i’m a [ BARISTA AT ROOK COFFEE ]. i lived in helltown for [ 27 YEARS ] because [ GREW UP HERE ]. i am [ 27 ] my pronouns are [ HE/HIM ]. i also hear i look a lot like [ MIKE FAIST ] but, i don’t know if i see it. i’m here because [ CAN'T SEEM TO LEAVE ] but, maybe there’s more to it than that. you never know with helltown.

FULL NAME: samuel miller

DATE OF BIRTH: december, 16, 1996

HOMETOWN: helltown, ohio

ZODIAC: sagittarius

SEXUALITY: straight

EDUCATION: ashevere highschool, helltown community college but dropped out after a year when he realized it wasn't for him

OCCUPATION: employee at rook coffee

MOTHER: viola miller

FATHER: henry miller (deceased)

SIBLNGS: n/a

PETS: orange tabby named milo

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

physical.

HEIGHT: 6'0

HAIR: dirty blonde

EYE COLOR: blue with brown flecks

TATTOOS: a ghost on his forearm.

PIERCINGS: n/a

MARKINGS: a scar above his lip from getting bit by a stray dog when he was young, which now looks white.

FASHION STYLE: botton ups, vintage sweater vests, skinny jeans, hoodies, either looks too formal or too casual

MANNERISMS: nervous habit scratching the back of his neck, has trouble keeping his hands still, always bouncing a knee whilst sitting

personality.

POSTIVE TRAITS: jokester, independent, adventurous, compassionate, courageous

NEGATIVE TRAITS: impulsive, sarcastic, envious, dissociative, anxious

FEARS: being forgotten, abandonment, wasting ones life

LIKES: keeping his mind busy, thriller movies, black coffee, exploring, music, being heard/listened too, animals, nature, the smell of rain, live concerts

DISLIKES: the ticking of a clock, keeping completely still, the sound of styrofoam, white chocolate, bullies, being ignored, feeling invisible, confrontation

HOBBIES: reading, taking walks in the woods (yeah not the best idea) exploring abandoned buildings (not a good one either), sketching with charcoal

AESTHETICS: rain on a gloomy day, charcoal covered hands, the smell of expresso and coffee beans, indie-alternative music, exploring abandoned buildings, insomnia, spending the day at the museum looking at art, doing something impulsive and rushing into danger head first, storm clouds and thunder, the color blue-GREY

GOALS: do something new everyday, lest he go insane

MOTIVATIONS: to feel something again

BIOGRAPHY.

it was easy to feel like a ghost in a place called helltown. born and raised here, sam isn't sure if he's ever experienced an ounce of normalcy. a shy kid, and maybe even a little bit of a late bloomer, sam always felt like he was a step behind everyone else especially his peers. while he was intelligent he didn't utter a single word until the ripe age of six. he never felt the need too, nor the urge. he liked observing, absorbing and taking the world in with wide eyes. it wasn't until his mother worried like a sick hen that she finally sent him to a speech therapist. it was only then he began to speak even if he didn't necessarily want too. Because of this Sam was labeled as the weird, odd kid at school. who sat alone at lunch and was picked last for dodgeball. sometimes his father joked that he came into the world upside down. that instead of happy bubbly bouncing baby that they expected to get they received a child who seemed emotionless and quiet which was the farthest thing from the truth. in fact sam felt things too much, too deeply at times. friends and family would call him sensitive, but it was more to it than that. his heart worked just fine, as a healthy one should. blood pumping regularly, the valves opening and closing; everything functioning as it should. But Sam feels something has always been wrong, when moments of joy register as brief but ecstatic, and moments of pain stretch long and unbearably loud. His mother tried to comfort him and tell him that everything would be fine, that this was just the highs and lows of life but sam couldn't believe it, knew that no one understood. When his father passed from a bad case of ammonia as a teen thats when things really started to go downhill. the grief was maddening and never-ending. his once loving mother turned cold and sour--dealing with her own grief she turned inwards and isolated herself, especially from her only son. maybe because he looked too much like his father for his mother to bear, or maybe because he had always felt like an extreme disappointment. it didn't matter because sam convinced himself that both statements were true.

from that day sam lingered through the world like a ghost. invisible and unnoticed. he didn't attempt to make friends at school or interact with people beyond that. it was lonely of course but he didn't know what to do with himself, all these feelings that seemed to pour out of his heart. everything felt like a massive boulder caving into his chest. once he graduated he moved out of his family home and still stuck around helltown. he wasn't really sure why. he figured he could start a new life somewhere else, find somewhere he truly belonged but he was beginning to believe that didn't exist for a phantom like him.

he landed a job at rook coffee on a whim that they were just low on staff. his life went on as normal and while a coffee shop wasn't what he dreamed of doing as a career he can't find himself quitting. he actually enjoys being a barista even if he remains invisible behind the counter. at least he has some sort of daily interaction even if it's meaningless. as an adult he has made a few lifelong friends--ones who accepted him and all his damaged goods but he still has a hard time with keeping in touch with them on a regular. a flaw he acknowledges that lies somewhere between his upbringing and genetic dna.

growing up he was always surrounded by the peculiar and deranged, and like most grown ups they ignored the towns strange happenstances, and he too at a certain age began to ignore them too. every year there seemed to be a missing person or thing--to the point where sam started to lose count. it was hard to care after a certain point especially when you felt misplaced in your own birth place. however as he got older and had more time on his hands than he knew what to do with he started to look into these unsolved mysteries finding himself wrapped up in these stories like a ball of tangled yarn. it's a hobby he's not exactly proud of but he can't help but to deep dive into helltowns conspiracies.

[mikewheelerinthetardis]

I'm about to break your hearts

The Duffer Bros said they don't do fan service.

So what if... They don't give us a Byler rain kiss or upside down kiss... But a hospital kiss.

And Mike is the one in the hospital.

Will isn't the one who gets Vecna'd.

Think about it. Vecna targets people who have untold guilt and shame. Will is fully out to himself and he knows he's in love with Mike. That's a given. We know this.

However, Mike is denying his sexuality and his love for Will. He hasn't come to terms with it yet. He doesn't want to acknowledge it or confront it because of his internalized homophobia. He feels guilt and shame for what he is and for what he feels.

So what if in the first episode of Season 5, it starts off with not Will, but MIKE getting Vecna'd. Vecna takes him back to the skating rink, one of the worst days of Mike's life, to see Lonnie verbally abusing Will. Vecna then shows him other things like the day they saw them drag Will's fake body out of the quarry, and the day when Will moved away.

The party then brings Mike out of his trance by playing his favorite song "Smalltown Boy". He falls into Will's arms. Mike is broken, not completely, not as much as Max, he can still see, but a couple of his limbs are broken. While Will is cradling him and sobbing, he noticed something sticking out of Mike's shirt pocket. He can barely make out a "W". He pulls it out and looks at Mike questioningly. Mike struggles to say "It's for you. I wrote that for you." before he loses consciousness.

Later on it picks up at the hospital, where everyone is sitting there with Mike. They all leave slowly, leaving Will alone with Mike, who is still unconscious. Finally alone, Will pulls out the letter and starts reading it. His tears fall as he reads Mike's confession and apology. He gets angry and realizes what Vecna took from them, and vows to get revenge. While Mike is still unconscious, Will and the others jump into a gate and finally defeat Vecna.

He spends the next month sitting by Mike's side until he finally awakens. Mike sees Will rereading the letter that's been read so many times the paper is already worn. Will starts crying when he sees Mike finally awake. Their eyes meet and Mike looks down at the letter, his eyes asking all the questions he can't yet. Will nods and all he says is "I love you too. I've always loved you." before he leans in to softly kiss him, then gently pushing his curls off his forehead and letting their heads rest together.

[mikesbasementbeets]

ok i've started rewatching dawson's creek to look for will/el/mike paralells in pacey/dawson/joey (and i think i'm actually finding some max stuff too with jen???)

going in, my thought was that joey is mike, pacey is will, and dawson is el (which i still think is true in the series overall), but just in the pilot i'm seeing byler in a LOT of the joey/dawson dynamic: childhood best friends who start getting weird around each other as they grow up and into their fledgling sexualities. this is a bit of the first interaction in the series and i think it weirdly sums up mike(joey)'s relationships with both will and el (dawson) in slightly different ways

Joey (trying to leave in order to avoid sleeping over (in Dawson's bed), which is something they've done since they were kids): "I just think our emerging hormones are destined to alter our relationship, and I'm trying to limit the fallout."

Dawson: "Your emerging hormones aren't developing a thang for me, are they?"

Joey: "A 'thing?' No, I'm not getting a 'thing' for you, Dawson... we're changing and we have to adjust or else the male-female thing will get in the way."

joey and mike both associate growing up with relationships inevitably changing, and cling to the idea that at a certain age (around puberty) boys and girls can't be "just friends" anymore. we see lucas plant this idea in mike's head in season one

mike is a boy and el is a girl, and mike is being kind and protective over her, so mike's friends (and family) assume he 'likes' her... and therefore so does he

(literally staring directly into her eyes as he leans in to kiss her.... ok)

anyway

as for will, joey is obviously lying in this scene - she does have a 'thing' for dawson (whether it be a product of the above idea or not) but dawson has always been her best friend and she's finding herself having feelings that would complicate that friendship... so she represses it and tries to put distance between them instead (without really being able to escape the feelings) and THAT becomes the thing that strains their friendship

some other things from the pilot i took note of:

dawson is trying to impress jen, so he invites her to the movies with himself and pacey, then begs joey to come along so it won't be weird for jen... which puts joey feeling like she's on a weird sort of double date with pacey (which isn't really relevant at this point, pacey's off in his own plotline, but i found it funny...she thinks she likes dawson but ends up paired with pacey a lot....hmm)

joey and dawson then have a confrontation about dawson's infatuation with this girl he's just met, which ends with joey telling him to grow up

(also this scene with the four of them walking to the movie and pacey in the back laughing at them)

joey's initial reaction to jen reminds me a lot of mike's dynamic with max... and actually everyone's sort of dynamic with max (jen just reminds me a lot of max tbh). pacey and dawson are both immediately infatuated, but pacey moves on quickly (i'm not gonna talk about his storyline this season lmao it sucks), and joey is immediately jealous of the boys' attraction to her. (their relationship is pretty antagonistic for a while, but in later seasons they become a lot closer and/bc they're a lot more alike than they like to admit (madwheeler anyone??))

jen actually really stuck out to me with the max parallels (although she's a little more in the el role at first, being sort of a source of conflict between the main "just friends" love interests): she starts off by moving to a new town and becoming friends with dawson, joey, and pacey, who have all been friends since they were kids. her family dynamics are... messy. a lot of her emotional arc over the first season has to do with her comatose grandfather and dealing with the grief of losing him while living with her grandmother who disapproves of her in every single way... and finding and trying to fit in with a group of friends whose dynamic is already established (and Complicated) and getting hurt in the crossfire (thinking s2 max)... also something about both of these characters just resonates the same chord with me idk

and a couple more random things:

(yes dawson is obsessed with spielburg so they're all there but these two shots in particular... and he also has the film posters he's less proud of.... in his closet.....)

also

anyway, this is probably gonna be a slow analysis, (they're really very different shows and dynamics and again i'm only on the pilot lol) but maybe i'll post more thoughts if i have them

[luxshine]

As I am rewatching It Chapter 1 because I needed to refresh a few things for an extra special video, I've realized one thing: Unlike the 1990 mini? It doesn't hold that well the passage of time.

I mean, yes, Skaagard as Pennywise is still amazing, and the kids act the hell out of the script. But the script? Lacks heart.

I am glad I didn't re-read It before watching the movie the first time because even if I had some complains originally (like, for example, the fact that they gave Mike's story and skills to Ben so Mike was literally just the token Black kid of the group, or the whole treatment of Beverly as damsel in distress), now that I am watching it with the book fresh in my mind, there are so many things that are just... wrong.

Eddie's broken arm due to It rather than the Bullies. Bill's obsession with finding Georgie, rather than finding Georgie's killer. Beverly's sexualization. Eddie finding out about the Placebo stuff not from Mr. Keene but from his daughter, who wouldn't have the authority to convince him enough to face his mother. Henry Bower's father being the town sheriff rather than the town red neck racist loser. Patrick Hocksetter dying quite early and in the way that Belch would be killed later on -ok, so that's not that important, but given how Patrick affected Henry so much, the order is important. Beverly zigzagging from the one who is not afraid of It to the one who just... stands there.

All that? Kinda bad, but still can hold on its own but then...

The Losers Club's friendship doesn't feel real. With the kids being so insistent that they're not having fun, that they should be in the summer outside rather than helping Bill with his crusade, it feels as if they're just with him because well, no one else will hang with them. Ben being the new kid in town becomes a stupid joke due to his liking of New Kids on the Block, but his joining the Club simply feels off as they never do anything as friends, like building the clubhouse or the damn.

And that's the thing that the mini had that the movie doesn't: In the mini, we see the losers hang out at the Barrens, and play like kids. YES, Billy is suffering for Georgie's loss, but he is still a kid. And his friends know that, and they are afraid too but they love Bill. So they would never, ever fight over being scared. And thus that stupid conflict at the last moment feels so off (I mean, why would Mike go back because It got Beverly since he knew them for all of two days?) And of course, since we never get the scenes where the kids are trying to understand what IT is, we never get the most important part of the mythos: It is stuck on the form they give him, and gets the strengths like say, the Werewolf healing factor, but also the weakness and this is why all the Losers are important, not just Bill. Because each of them have a talent: Eddie can't get lost, Ben can build everything he sets his head to, Mike is the knowledge keeper, Stan is the rational mind who helps them get back to the facts, Beverly is the brave one who never misses her mark, and of course, Bill is the leader, the heart. But since the movie changes Ben and Mike, and really doesn't do much with Beverly, and never even hints at Ben's or Eddie's skills, it's just... oh, yeah, they were together.

Even Henry and his gang lose their own togetherness. Like, why don't we see Victor and Henry in the final confrontation?

So yeah. I liked Chapter 1 when I first saw it... but now, with the book fresh in my mind and the real characters dear to my heart... I realize that yeah, adaptations are needed, and it could've been worse (HEllo, Tommyknockers), but seriously, it is not as good as it could've been with the great cast and production they had.

[chirpsythismorning]

Hi!

I want to ask a question which is eating me since july:

What is the narratively propose of the line "I feel like my life started the day we found you in the woods" ?

Because I am losing my mind on this one. The worst is I don't think it won't came back in s5, not like the painting.

But this sentence makes the all "asking to be my friend is the best thing i did" business a lie! From Will's prospective.

How much Will's lie will affect Mike in s5 is widely discussed, but what will be the consequences of Mike's monologue for Will ?

(Ironically, I don't think Will knew he was lying, he genuinely thought that El loved Mike that much. he genuinely thought that El loved Mike as much as he do)

So what do you think?

Bye <3

I never really thought about it that way, but now that you say it, ouch.

I would definitely say from Will's perspective, Mike's monologue to El contradicted his monologue to him in the shed in s2, and so therefore Mike asking him to be his best friend wasn't the best thing he did...?

Yeah that's definitely going to be circled back to in some capacity.

Honestly, I think s5 is going to be very tragic. So many casual fans expect Will to have this horrible ending based on this trend they've had for Will's character thus far. I think to subvert this expectation a majority of the audience has, the Duffer's are going to go all out... They're going to humor those fans expectations a little bit, meaning they are going to make Will (and all of the characters quite frankly) experience so much pain, that it'll have even the most confident bylers questioning everyones happy ending. And that's what's going to make the ending so gratifying. You can't know joy unless you've known sorrow. Those of us who can soar to the highest heights can also plunge to the deepest depths. Don't mind this very relevant Anne with an E quote because the Duffers are anners.

This season upon season trend of the story sidelining Will, something even most casual viewers picked up on and critique as a bad thing... is literally setting Will up for a perfect ending. Because how would season upon season of a character losing again and again, be satisfying if it ended with him losing, again? Answer: it wouldn't be.

Will's dealt with the shit end of things for years, with s4 reaching new heights of making him feel like he deserves it.

All of this is going to come to a head in s5 with Vecna trying to get Will to join him. We already know that he wants to kill everyone else, except Will... and so, Will clearly isn't a target for him to literally kill or hurt technically, and yet Vecna will do what he has to in order to get Will to feel like he has no choice but to join him.

And I think this quote is going to play a part in Will's experiences over the last 3+ seasons finally being confronted head on in the story.

I also don't think Mike said that, knowing what it implied, otherwise he wouldn't have said it at all. Though I think both Will and El and maybe even Jonathan knew what it implied, and I'm sure it pissed them off a little bit. Like I know El was thinking Mike not only are you a bad boyfriend but your bad friend too because jesus!

This quote could honestly come to bite Mike's ass as well, because seeing Will at his lowest thinking no one cares, is going to make Mike feel responsible, because he's going to realize he played a role in part of Will having those negative feelings about himself in the first place. Actually thinking about what he said and how it made Will feel, and also rethinking other interactions between them, all while potentially finding out about Will's feelings/sexuality, that is going to destroy Mike honestly. Because this whole time they could have been together if he'd just not done those things.

Yes, Mike has made the effort to reconcile with Will in both s3-4 after their fights, but they've never truly confronted the problem. And that's all for a reason.

Because once they do confront the truth, it's going to be hard for them to not want to be together knowing they both feel the same.

But the reality is most stories don't operate like that because it's not satisfying, especially slow-burn romances.

When it comes to slow-burns, it's all about the miscommunication and the will they wont they and the balance of both parties feeling something while thinking the other couldn't feel the same.

But I think right now the story is sort of imbalanced in terms of clueing the audience in on Mike's feelings for Will, in comparison to clueing the audience in on Will's feelings for Mike.

And with s5 going back to s1-2 vibes, it's entirely likely s1-2 vibes Mike is making a return, so there is a good chance they're following through with how a slow-burn ship has to operate, meaning they are evening up the balance of those feelings to make their endgame feel worthy and satisfying.

I do think that quote from Mike's monologue will impact both of them in some capacity, because it also, like you said, questions the validity of Mike's monologue to Will in the shed. And so it needs to be confronted in a way that gives both Will and Mike closure.

And let's not forget about El. She was there the day she met Mike and Lucas and Dustin and she knows it wasn't love at first sight. I think she herself has had a similar understanding of their meeting as Mike does, where it wasn't fate, that they just got lucky basically and it worked out for them. And yet she had strong feelings for him that grew over time. And so him saying that even probably upset her a little bit, because she knew it wasn't true even from her take on things. And so why would it be true for Mike who has been incapable of saying i love you to her face, ever?

This rose-tinted lens on their relationship from the beginning by the people around them, society and most of all the audience, is what put them in this position in the first place. They need to acknowledge the truth with one another (without Will mediating) so that they can actually move on and grow and be friends in the way they truly want to be.

Season 5 is definitely going to be a wild ride from start to finish, and even if it feels hopeless in the beginning, it'll all be worth it. Trust!