#i said it was colour coded ToT

[apatheticlexicographer]

BYLER FIC REC WEEK DAY 1: POST-CANON recs

All We Need Is Time by SlytherinsAndSnitches

will-centric; some plot. one of my favourites, it’s “friends to enemies to strangers to ???” will has depression, and in the three years since S4 he’s drifted from the entire party. he and mike had a bad falling out, but when they become coworkers at the record store they’re forced to reconnect. as if that wasn’t enough, will is starting to show the signs of vecnafication. the angst is deliciously agonizing and the plot is just starting to kick in. multichapter, just came back from hiatus a few days ago

the gaps and the silence by delusionaltogether

will-centric; no plot. the supernatural events of S4 never happened, but mike’s awkward visit was basically the nail in the coffin for their friendship. will never left lenora, and he’s now busy majoring in art and avoiding people as much as physically possible. he’s taken off guard when mike, who shows up in town with the sole purpose of reconnecting with him, casually admits he used to have a crush on him. the mutual pining is stronggggg and neither of them are smooth T_T longshot, complete

Lost Without You by Julia_Skysong

alternates between mike-centric and will-centric; some plot. will and mike are 26 now and haven’t talked in years, since mike disconnected himself from the entire party. will has a career writing comics based on their experiences with the upside down. mike surprises him when he brings his 7-year-old daughter to one of will’s signings, causing them to reconnect. this fic deals with a lot of heavy topics about homophobia, trauma and addiction but it’s not a constant misery-fest. will and mike’s reblossoming friendship is very sweet and mike’s daughter is adorable. the burn is slow but it suits the story perfectly and feels a lot more healthy and organic than rushing into things. love isn’t framed as a cure-all for their issues, and i really appreciate that. multichapter, ongoing

I’m a Wreck (Without You Here) by TalkingToTheLights @talkingtothelights

mike-centric; some plot. 33 year old mike has been distancing himself from his friends and family for years, but a tragic death forces him to return home and confront everything he’s been hiding from. the angst is strong and MCD is part of the core premise, but i promise it’s not will who died. mike is a mess for real. multichapter, ongoing

the darkest hour by AmberEyedFox

mike-centric; no plot. mike finally gets his head out of his ass after he breaks up with el. some of the headcanons in this fic aren’t what i typically gravitate toward, but it’s written in such a captivating way that i don’t care. the byler is soft as hell, what more do you want from me. long AF twoshot, complete

The Crossover by nbfutureboy

will-centric; plot. the party are all grown adults now. will writes horror comics and mike is in a band. they haven't talked in years, after an explosive fight. they're both slated to attend the same convention, but will's plans to avoid mike are derailed when he mysteriously vanishes. the mystery is so cool! multichapter, ongoing

Path of the Paladin by olliecoddle

mike-centric; sorta plot. 23yo mike has a terrible fuckin time! the fic. featuring ted wheeler's funeral, mike's very messy relationship with will, his even MESSIER relationship with his sexuality, and copious amounts of D&D lore as a thematic framing device. multichapter, ongoing though it's been a minute since last update

I Didn't Run, I Was Not Done by ryoukootonashi

will (and richie)-centric; plot. when will goes to college his assigned roommate is richie, who keeps overhearing will talking about the weirdest shit to his friends. richie is still suffering from clown-induced amnesia and would really like to know what the fuck is going on. another "can't believe it's not not crack!!!" fic lmao. multichapter, ongoing

[myrskytuuli]

So, confession time, when I was twelve I was like Huuuuge Kishigo shipper and that’s how I for the first time found my way tot he wonderful world of fanfics and fanart, but now as an adult I obviously see how toxic and problematic the ship- HAHAHAH GOT YOU GOOD! In this house I don’t grow and don’t become better.

Anyway, now that I’ve dusted off my almost 20 years old Kishigo ship-sails, let me just say how pleasantly surprised and absolutely hopeful I am about their dynamic in the reboot, based only off the short clip in the opening. Because we all know that the original Kishigo dynamic was fucked up as hell. It would be really funny and enjoyable most of the time and then briefly take a sharp turn to completely fucked up and then return back to the genuinely funny like nothing had happened. Oh early 2000s you were truly a different time and Ichigo’s three weed smoking boyfriends were all very much trapped in their 90s boyfriend harem archetypes. The gentleman. The tsundere with a heart of gold. The actual psychopath.

(As an aside, remember how fucked up it was that every girl with several suitors always had to have one of them being an actual sex offender. Like that was just a thing. Remember when we as pubescent girls said shit like “I wish I was raped by character X” like that was just a normal thing to say. And we would all blush and giggle. How did any of us survive puberty in the early 2000s?)

Getting back on topic, the fact that they replaced the nonconsensual kiss in the intro with Kisshu just jumpscaring Ichigo fills me with hope that they have gone the sensible route and toned down the uncomfrotable intensity of Kisshu’s “crush” and maybe kept him as an annoying flirt without it veering into disregarding Ichigo’s actual boundaries. (aside from the fact that they’re fighting obviously.)

The relationship between kisshu and Ichigo was really funny when they weren’t being weirdly sexual, and I want more of that best nemesis dynamic from them.

I want Ichigo and Kisshu to immediately have the very special kind of chemistry that only two people who understand each other at their base clown level can have, the kind of where they immediately dumb each other down and truly bring out the least dignified version of each other that there is.

The kind of where they both think that they are L and Light from that Death Note opening, standing on those colour-coded pillars, the only equals to each other’s genius, expect that they’re both dumb and make each other actively dumber. Casual strangers on the street describe them as “those two best friends who were yelling at each other in the park again.”

The kind where they will both ditch much more important tasks to fistfight each other in the 7/11 parking lot. Both of their teammates are begging them to please just focus on the mission and ignore the other, but the clown music taking over their minds the closer their proximity is to each other is too strong. Nobody thinks their rivalry is impressive expect them. They also know stupid amount of useless information about each other because they cannot help but overshare a weird amount of personal and emotional information to each other while punching each other in the face. One time while fighting Kisshu accidentally teleported them both inside a movie theatre. They were both so tired that they decided to take break and watch the movie together. It was okay, Kisshu thought the spacecraft in the movie looked stupid and unpractical, Ichigo didn’t like how only female character was a love interest, but they both agreed that the special effects were good.

Aoyama-kun, being the saint that he is, understands that sometimes a girl needs time with her alien nemesis. He just wishes that it was less often in the middle of their date-night.

[katra-applesauce]

Catra is a woc and way more human than cat but I don't see yall make bug jokes with Scorpia despite the fact that there are several bug jokes about her in the show hmmmmmmmmmm its the racism...

Catra is a magicat in a fictional universe. Any need or desire to brand her as WoC or Latina is just individual projection because its used as representation. Lonnie serves way more as a WoC representation. While iam fully aware what the production team said about it aka: "Catra is absolutely a WOC, but you're correct in why I've been hesitant to canonize her ethnicity. Fwiw, we considered her Latina, but I love the Persian headcanons! But it's not stated explicitly in the show so it doesn't feel right to take credit for it." which puts emphasis on it non being canonized. Which makes sense because she is considered a WoC because the production team based her of latina ethnicity. However for this tot ranslate into canon, the she-ra universe would need an Earth with a latin america on it. Ascribing the term Latina and subsequently WoC to a fictional character who has NOTHING in common with either the culture and heritage of WoC or Latina seems a dilution of the meaning of both terms and what they stand for and represent. Furthermore, ascribing the term based entirely on interpretation of Catra's skin colour rather than her ethnicity, culture and heritage is the actual racism, no? Being a WoC or Latina has significantly more depth and more meaning than just the colour of ones skin, it comes with a distinct cultural and geographical heritage that Catra explicitly does not share with either. Neither with Persia, to be honest. Can we just see her as a magicat rather than trying to class the people of a fictional universe by their skin colour into irl terminology? Adora isnt caucasian, Glimmer isnt asian and Frosta isnt Inuit. I understand that they are coded a certain way but thats because characters are made to be relateable, yknow in a meta-entertainment-production sense. And its fine for people to feel represented that way and to feel seen because of that coding. But that doesn't mean the fictional characters are the ethnicities that people SEE in them. Adora's ethnicity is Eternian, Catra's is Magicat, Frosta and glimmer are etherian. That being said it would make sense if certain regions and cultures on etheria would be describable as their own ethnicities. Technically Scorpia's ethnicity is Scorpioni Hope that makes sense? Loving the random questions that seem in no way at all to be aimed at starting some form of drama. Not seen that before *AT ALL* That was sarcasm, just incase. Please don't start it, its boring and dull and nothing but people unable to affect the misery of real life turning to attacking random people because it makes them feel somehow vindicated or accomplished.

[richtea-biscuit]

Thank you @a-fritterer for tagging me. Prepare for a lot of answers in the negative

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

It was my mum so I’m confident that she did

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

No, 18 is slightly on the young side. Plus, I had to deal with many of them at uni last year and it made me realise what a difference 3 years can make

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Probably never, if I’m going to have mixed feelings about something, it’s not going to be that mix

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do if I accidentally make eye-contact just to be polite

5. Is there someone who’s mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I’m not dating anyone so no

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Yes, a song my grandad loved came on shuffle

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Gryffindor pyjamas

8. How often do you listen to music?

All day, every day

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?

Wow, you can really tell the age of this game. In hindsight, I would say my life has changed, I feel like I know myself much better which has made me a lot happier. Even when life isn’t going great, at least I know who I am and no longer feel lost in my own body and mind

11. Are you a social or antisocial person?

I’m pretty social when I’m with people I know and like

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter “A”?

Yes, it’s not a pleasant memory though

13. What about “R”?

No

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Technically yes but not legally

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yes, I’m pretty paranoid about that. It’s turned me into a chronic people pleaser

16. Are you going out of town soon?

No

17. When was the last time you cried?

Whenever I watched series 2 of Derry Girls. The last episode made me cry, no shame

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Platonically, lots. I tell my friends and family I love them all the time. Romantically, that person whose name begins with A and there are regrets

19. If you could change your eye colour, would you?

No, my eyes are the only thing I’m happy with

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

Jeon Jungkook lol

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having

I feel like it’s been a day of Procrastination because I’m so tired-out from my mum’s birthday party yesterday

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

I like the thought of it. And I love it in fanfic, it makes me soft

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

No

24. What are you sitting on right now?

My bed

25. Does anyone regularly tell you they love you (other than family)?

@penicillinjimin tells me at least semi-regularly

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

No

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

My nan

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yes, RIP me every winter

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I want to say Primark but I don’t know

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I can drink legally, I do34n’t need to be hiding it

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I can take it or leave it

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Honestly, the thought gives me the ick

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

If I had to, the year of the “A” but I don’t really want to. I think I wouldn’t be the person I am now if I deleted it, and for the worse because that was the start of a very long journey of realising I was asexual. I think that about all my experiences, good and bad, they shaped the person I am today

35. Did you have a dream last night?

No

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

My mum yesterday

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

And not push away and guy that pays attention to me out of fear? lol

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Not anymore they don’t, I made sure of that

39. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now?

The person reading this? Am I funny yet?

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Yes

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

No

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

No

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

No

44. What’s the best part about school?

I loved learning but I didn’t like the other children

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Other than my profile picture, they’re all about 5 years old because I hide from cameras

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Do people actually do that?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

I try to surpress it

48. Were you single over the last summer?

I’m the hopeless romantic that’s forever alone

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Not really

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Whatever I feel like

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

No, I don’t waste my time like that. I waste it in infinite other ways instead

52. Are you nice to everyone?

Even when I don’t want to be. I just can’t be rude

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Friend-wise, yes

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Definitely yes. Even if I weren’t asexual, it would be yes. I absolutely despise cheating. My friend cheated on her boyfriend once and we had a massive row about it because she didn’t like that I wasn’t on her side

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes, I cover them up with other feelings. It’s my special skill

56. Do you think you like someone?

It’s very hard for me to tell. It requires a 10-page thesis for me to work these things out. Not that it really matters because like I said, I get scared and turn into a bitch to push people away

57. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with a “J”?

Yes - spin the bottle. I got dragged into it

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Boys. I think that’s more because it’s what I’m used to from when I was at school

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

No, I get fairly apathetic

61. How’s your heart?

I’ll ask it. “Hey heart, how you doing?” It says da-dum

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy

Yes, I was an idiot.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Nobody I can think of

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

No

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

I hope not

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry, correct?

I feel like “love” is the wrong word. Boys should be encouraged to show their emotions though, crying is good for you

68. Have your trousers even fallen down in public?

No

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mum when we were in proper lockdown

70. How do you look right now?

A face only a mother could love. It’s bedtime so there’s no make-up and my hair’s a mess

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

No

72. Can you commit to one person?

Yes

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

No

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yes

75. Did you wake up cranky?

No

76. Are you a jealous person?

Yes, I try to keep a check on it though

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like tot think that they are, but maybe fiction has given me an idealistic view point

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

No

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

My friends

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Brush my teeth

81. Last person you cried in front of?

I actually don’t remember

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Many

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

Yes, Jungkook is my man and he is protective of all ARMY (I’m joking, don’t worry I’m not crazy. Just spicing my answers up)

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

85. Are you over your past?

Is anyone ever? Like I said before, I think it’s all important to who I am now so I keep key elements of it fresh in my mind as reminders to not make the same mistakes and let myself get hurt like that again

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yes

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

No

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I don’t know about “true love” but if the person I thought I loved came to my door, I would tell them to fuck off

89. The last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM, do you let them in?

It’d probably be an emergency and we’re not on bad terms as such so yeah

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

No, they hating came later

91. Will you be in a relationship in two months?

I highly doubt it

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

My mum’s friend

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

No

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

I was emotionally invested in my relationship with the Jungkook photocard I had on the wall next to my bed. It was at head height when I sat down so when I was going through tough times, I would talk to it so I didn’t feel so lonely. It was an amazing listener lol. And it’s answer was always “love yourself” and I’d say “You’re right as always. Thanks Kookie” (I swear I’m not crazy)

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in march?

Same as January

96. Is the last person you texted attractive?

Objectively speaking I think @penicillinjimin is very pretty. I don’t find her attractive but that’s nothing personal

97. Who do you have texts from?

Domino’s (with discount codes, it’s true love)

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Ok?

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

No

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

It’s just me

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

No, fireworks are there to be seen guys

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yes

Tagging whoever wants to do it

[artistic-writer]

Notes: A very special thanks to @kmomof4 for finding this in my google docs and reminding me i hadn’t posted it yet.  Also, thanks for fixing my mistakes! <3  I also warn you now that this fic is hard for me to write, because it’s sooooooo slow burn, so updates will be btween other fics I am writing, and i might even skip to the eventual E rating earlier than planned ;)

Overall Summary: An AU elsewhere fic based in New York. Emma Swan and her best friend Mary Margaret “Snow” Blanchard are ready for a change. After Mary Margaret gets offered a new job at a school in Manhatten, Emma decides to go with her. She takes a job in a traditional, mom and pop diner called Granny’s and soon both of them are finding love in the most unlikely of places.

Chapter Summary: Killian has to take Emma to the hospital after her accident at work, but with all the emotions flying around, will she give into her inner voice and kiss her boss?

Rating: T (for now and it will eventually be E)

Word Count:  4382

AO3 [chapter 1] - [chapter 2] - [Chapter 3] - [Chapter 4] - [Chapter 5] - [Chapter 6] - [Chapter 7] - [Chapter 8] - [Chapter 9] - [Chapter 10]

—————————————————————————————————

Emma felt silly. There were far more important things for the doctors and nurses to be worrying about than her stupid hand. Killian had driven them to the hospital, she wasn’t sure which one, and they were now seated at the back of a small waiting area.

It was a weekday and as such, there were not many people around this early in the morning. There were less people than Emma expected actually, for a city as big as New York. She would have expected a few more people to have needed medical attention, but then she remembered how early it still was.

God damn early. You need to get a different job, Emma.

Killian was beside her, his black boots scuffing nervously on the almost mirror-like floor tiles under his chair. The flimsy, pull down plastic seats reminded Emma of a baseball stadium, but they were an off white grey instead of any team colour she knew of. They also had an odd, bobbled texture that Emma had never seen before.

Then again, she didn’t frequent many hospitals.

The people who were in the waiting room with them were not causing too much of a disturbance. It was like there was some unwritten code that prevented anybody from talking to each other. Emma didn’t mind much, she liked to keep to herself, but Emma could tell Killian was the complete opposite.

Three chairs over from them were a tired looking couple. They couldn’t have been any older than Emma, and out of the corner of her eye she could see that they had a young toddler. The father looked haggard, the exhaustion etched onto his face. He was slouched down in the chair, his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms folded over his chest. His shirt was rumpled all over, and there was a distinct orange stain on one of his shoulders.

The young mother looked older than she probably was due to her own fatigue. The corners of her eyes were creased, her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She wore a jumper, some baggy sweatpants and some hard bottoms slippers, probably thrown on in the haste of leaving their home in such a hurry. As Emma looked them over, she guessed they had probably been there far longer than she and Killian.

The little girl beside the mother sat obediently on the fold down chair. Her tiny hands were rung together, resting in a pile on her lap and Emma could see she was pale. Her skin was clammy and her eyes red, probably from crying so long, and Emma could have sworn she saw a slight hitch in her tiny body as the after effects of her sobs still rocked her minute frame.

The little girl looked directly at Killian, studying the side of his face with an inquisitive stare. Emma smiled, watching her and wondering what she was thinking. Her tiny sweat beaded forehead furrowed a little, and her short, shallow breaths made her entire body move silently as she breathed.

As if he could tell somebody was looking at him, Killian turned his head slowly and locked eyes with the little girl. She didn’t look away but instead met his gaze unashamedly, her little cheeks blushing when her eyes darted to Killian’s hand clutched to his lap. Killian followed her gaze, understanding her confusion instantly.

The little girl shuffled in her seat, turning so that she was totally facing Killian. Killian leaned sideways, sliding his hand behind him as he did, and pulling the seat down between them. He leaned down on his elbow until he was eye level with the little girl, the chair shifting under his weight. Her eyes flicked to his blunted hand once more and Killian grabbed her attention with his other hand, pointing to his nose with his long index finger.

The little girl’s mouth twitched up into a weak smile, her fatigue so heavy over her little body that Killian was surprised she could keep her eyes open and muster a smile at all. He poked his nose and then pointed to the little girl, sticking out his tongue and wiggling it mischievously. Emma couldn’t see what he was doing from where she was sitting, but the smile on the toddler’s face grew slightly and Emma’s soon matched it.

It seemed, amongst other things, Killian was quite good with children.

When the little girl laughed, the echo of her innocent chuckle bouncing around the room, the father stirred. He peeled his eyes open and pushed himself up in his seat, his instinct searching out his daughter’s voice. His eyes fell on Killian, darting between him and his daughter who was clapping her hands together with excitement and burying her face into her mother’s side.

The father smiled, thankful that for the first time in nearly twenty-four hours, his daughter was not screaming. A wave of relief washed over him, and his wide eyes relaxed back into their tired state once he knew his daughter was not unhappy once more. The mother wrapped her arms around the tot, helping her hide her face from Killian’s silliness, her own small laugh slipping from her throat.

“Funny man,” the little girl said gleefully, her toes wiggling in her booted sleepsuit.

“Is he?” The mother asked her with a smile, as if she didn’t know Killian had been making her daughter laugh.

Killian flashed the mother a smile and leaned back up into his seat, letting the chair beside him spring back against the wall with a dull thud. The little girl’s eyes flicked back to Killian’s stump and with a tiny, crooked finger, she pointed at it.

“No fingers,” the little girl said quickly, looking at her mother for an explanation.

The mother blushed, apologising for her daughter instantly with a silent look. Killian shook his head a little, brushing it off. He was used to people staring, didn’t even mind it, but the innocence of children bought out a brutal honesty that often made the adults around them uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” She said quickly, smoothing her hand over her daughter’s back. The girl looked at her and then to Killian.

“Where?” She pointed at his hand again, scrambling to pull down the seat next to her and climb into the cooler plastic chair. She crossed her legs over each other, the tiny bobbled feet of her onesie making a scraping sound over the plastic.

Killian looked to where his hand once was and covered the end with his long fingers. There had been many stories he had told children over the years since his accident, but his favourite still lingered at the forefront of his mind. It wasn’t too scary and had just the right amount of excitement for such a young mind.

Killian licked his lips a little before looking over at the little girl again. His eyebrow jumped up on his face, and he gave her a sideways grin. He crooked a finger at her and leaned sideways over the gap, the little girl eagerly matching his lean and resting forward on her knees. The dark circles under her eyes disappeared when her eyes went wide and she sniffed at a dribble of snot that had escaped her nostril.

“A crocodile took it,” he whispered at her, grinning wildly after his words. The little girl gasped, her little body stiffening in her seat.

“Cwockodile?” She repeated his words with amazement and Killian nodded, watching a small line of drool escape from her mouth which hung open a little.

“A big, big crocodile,” Killian told her with a deep, booming voice. The little girl looked riveted, leaning even more forward.

“Came right out of the sea and CHOMP!” Killian slapped his stump and the little girl jumped back in her seat, her tiny hands clutching over her mouth.

“It eated it!?” The girl gasped and Emma grinned from behind Killian. The little girl couldn’t have been older than three and yet she was fearless, enthralled by Killian’s story despite its horrific undertones.

Killian sat back in his seat and swallowed dramatically, making a cartoon style gulping noise as he did so. The toddler’s face spread into a wide grin, only her two front pegs fully broken through her gums. Her laughing got louder and she turned to her mother, tugging harshly on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. She was just about to babble something when a nurse called to her parents, signalling it was their turn to see a doctor.

Killian sat back, offering the parents a smile as they made their way from the waiting room. The little girl clutched at her mother’s shoulders, resting her head sideways and grinning at Killian shyly as they disappeared around a blue privacy curtain.

“A crocodile, huh?” Emma tried to suppress her laugh, but a snort escaped her throat. Killian leaned back in his chair and gave her a smirk, his eyebrow quirking up on his forehead. He reached up behind his ear and scratched the skin there, a habit Emma was coming to notice he did more and more.

“Aye,” Killian said confidently, reclaiming his hand from the gap between them. “Have you ever tried to explain the intricacies of sailing to a babe?”

Emma shook her head with a chuckle, looking down at her own hand painfully wrapped with the rough textured, off white towel. Killian had a point. She had not, and it seemed a more fitting thing to simply make up how he had come to have only one hand. At least then, Killian could change his story to suit the situation or age of his audience.

Emma’s hand throbbed. The pain had subsided, but only a little. The adrenaline that had caused her body to flush hot and her blood to pump from the open wound in her palm had long since faded away, and she was now in the stages of being in uncomfortable pain. Shifting in her seat, Emma pulled her wrapped hand to her chest and sighed.

“I’m sure it will not be much longer,” Killian offered lightly, noticing Emma’s discomfort. “Once again, I am truly sorry, Swan.”

Emma studied him as he spoke, his eyes full of hurt. Killian was a good guy, Emma could tell that, and behind all of the bravado and confidence was a man who had lived through his fair share of sorrow.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Emma narrowed her eyes and twisted her head sideways.

“To what are you referring?” Killian asked her nervously, his position shifting so he was leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. Emma watched him squirm and noticed how he avoided her gaze, instead fixing his stare on the floor between his feet.

“Apologising,” Emma said shortly, her voice a little too frustrated. The pain in her hand had radiated up her arm now and she was a little more irritated than she would like to admit.

Killian looked at her and gave her a tight lipped smile. “I’m sorry,” he chuckled and Emma rolled her eyes.

So British.

“This isn’t your fault,” Emma said flatly.

“I feel like it is,” Killian admitted and Emma’s brow furrowed with confusion. Before he had time to say anything else, Emma reached out with her hand and wrapped it gently around his wrist. Killian watched her fingers grip at his skin, the heat from her fingertips searing into his flesh.

Emma wasn’t sure why she felt the need to reassure him but she did. Emma didn’t know much about Killian Jones, but she knew he could bury himself in guilt as good as she could. Nobody was to blame for them being there, but the pang of sorrow in his voice as he spoke began to chip away at the walls around her heart.

Uh oh.

“Emma Swan?”

They both looked to their right, the voice of a tall, thin, blonde nurse bringing them both back to reality. Emma pulled her hand away from Killian’s wrist quickly and then they stood in unison and the nurse waved them to follow her with a smile.

The soft, rubber clog style shoes that she wore squeaked across the floor as she walked. Emma followed the nurse hurriedly, noting how she walked quite fast despite them falling behind. Killian fell into line behind the two women, his hand tucked under one arm and his lip tucked nervously under his teeth.

“Just in here,” the nurse stopped by a cubicle and extended her arm, motioning Emma inside. She was a little too joyous for this early in the morning, and Emma forced a smile as she walked past the taller woman into the room. “A doctor will be along shortly.”

“Thank you,” Killian told her softly, following Emma into the makeshift room and watching the nurse leave, her squeaky shoes echoing down the hall.

Emma perched on the edge of the bed, the crisp white sheets rippling under her weight. She blew out a breath, and looked around, noticing how every inch of the hospital looked identical to the next.

“What a great first day,” She huffed, focusing on a dark patch in the corner of the ceiling that had clearly been covered unsuccessfully with cheap paint.

“You are not enjoying this?” Killian teased, easing himself into the chair beside the bed and relaxing into the plush, plastic coated cushioning.

“Oh yeah,” Emma laughed weakly.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Killian promised with a grin.

“And you’ll pay me overtime for this,” Emma scoffed, wincing a little.

“Of course,” Killian bowed his head in agreement, amused by how bold Emma became when she was agitated. He had only seen her so bold once before, but they were both too drunk then.

“Good,” Emma pursed her lips when another pain rocked her arm.

The curtain to the cubicle rattled along its plastic rail and made Emma jump back a little. The square jawed doctor stepped into the space they occupied, his head buried in the clipboard of notes about his patient. He had short, cropped blonde hair that was clearly out of a bottle, and Emma gave Killian a silently amused twitch of a smile.

“Emma Swan,” the doctor said softly as he looked up from his notes. “I’m Dr. Whale,” he said with a chirp, resting the clipboard to the end of the bed and plunging his hands into the big pockets of his lab coat. “What can we do for you today?”

Emma held up her wrapped hand and sighed. “Injury at work,” she said simply, tentatively resting her hand on her thigh.

Plucking two sterile gloves from a wall mounted box, Dr. Whale stepped forward and picked up Emma’s bound hand. He squinted at the makeshift bandage, wrinkling his nose a little at the smell that was wafting from the fabric.

“The wound was bathed in alcohol and wrapped immediately,” Killian butted in, leaving out the finer details of his quick medical attempt.

“So it seems,” Whale swallowed, the taste of metallic tainted rum sticking to the back of his throat.

“At least it has stopped bleeding,” Emma said through a wince as Whale began to unwrap the towel. The material has become crusted with her blood and it pulled against the edges of the wound as Whale unravelled it. A hot wetness pooled in her palm once more as the slit in her hand reopened and the thick, red ooze began to flow from the cut once more.

“I’m sorry,” Whale said quickly, grabbing some sterile gauze he had set up beside Emma’s thigh and pressing it to the wound. “This looks nasty.”

“How bad?” Killian interjected and Emma shot him a look.

Whale lifted her hand closer to his face, twisting her wrist as he inspected it. Dabbing more gauze, he cocked his head sideways. Emma watched him intently, eager to hear the answer to Killian’s question.

“Can you do this?” Whale asked Emma, clenching his fist and then flexing his fingers back open. Emma copied his movements, gritting her teeth through the pain. Blood spurted from her palm once more when she flexed her hand and it ran over her fingers like water.

“How about this?” Whale made a pinching action, pressing his thumb and forefinger together, moving his thumb between his fingers one after the other and back again. Again, Emma copied him, pushing through the pain in order to do so.

“It hurts like hell,” Emma bit out, the dull throb radiating up her forearm.

“That’s good,” Whale smiled, his thin lips barely covering his small, peg like teeth. “It means you haven’t damaged any nerves.”

Whale stepped back and snapped his gloves from his hands, tossing them into a square, metal yellow bin behind him.

“Is she going to be okay?” Killian asked eagerly, looking over at Emma as the words fell from his lips.

Emma looked over and met his stare, his impossibly blue eyes filled with genuine worry. It was a strange sensation, being cared for, one that Emma didn’t think she would ever get used to feeling during her entire life. Snow was usually the one to do all the caring and it seemed a little strange for Emma to cause so much worry in someone she’d just met.

But then again, Killian Jones had done nothing but surprise her so far.

“I’m going to get a nurse to come stitch you up, and then you and your boyfriend can head home.” Whale gave them both one last smile and then disappeared through the curtain, pulling it closed behind him.

Boyfriend? Is it that obvious?

Emma shot Killian a glance, rolling her eyes when his eyebrow jumped up on his forehead and his lips twitched sideways.

“Don’t say it,” Emma warned him.

“Whatever do you mean?” Killian bit his tongue between his teeth and gave her a boyish grin.

Emma clenched her hand closed around the padded gauze, watching it soak up the blood and turning the sterile dressing a glistening red colour.

“We haven’t even been on our date yet,” Emma scoffed.

“By definition, love, spending time together in a setting other than work or around friends, makes it a date,” Killian laughed at his own words, especially Emma’s response. Emma gasped, her whole body shaking with a single snort of laughter.

“This is not a date,” She shook her head incredulously. “If it was, I would not agree to a second.”

Killian feigned shock, sitting back and placing his hand over his heart.

“You wound me, Swan,” he grinned.

At that exact moment, a tiny nurse slipped through the curtain with a small metal tray in her hands. She was already wearing gloves and the tray was laden with the supplies she was going to need. She smiled at Killian and then introduced herself to Emma.

“Ouch, Honey, that looks like something got you good,” she said sweetly, her accent clearly out of place in New York. She had a thick, Texas accent that confused both of them, until she looked at them with a knowing wave of her hand and a click of her tongue. “I’m a bit far from home, I know, but my husband is from New York.”

“We are all far from home,” Killian nodded at her knowingly, his own accent covering his words.

The nurse picked up Emma’s hand and sucked in a hiss through her teeth. “That’s deep, but don’t you worry,” she patted Emma on the knee lovingly, moving to pick up the filled syringe on the tray beside her. “I’m going to fix you right up.”

Emma watched her closely as she plucked the needle from the tray, holding the tiny clear liquid filled syringe at eye level and squirting a little from the needle. Emma was no stranger to pain, she had dealt with it all of her life, but it never got any easier.

The nurse instructed Emma on how to position her hand and then apologised as she pricked Emma’s skin with the numbing agent.

“Son of a…” Emma’s palm stung instantly and she stiffened her entire body, trying desperately to not pull her hand from where the nurse had laid it. A pang of guilt invaded Killian’s heart and without thinking, he reached out and grabbed Emma’s hand.

The sting in her hand turned to a burn as the nurse injected the numbing agent around the wound, but Emma did not notice. Killian’s skin on hers was like fire, the warmth turning the pain her other arm to nothing. Emma looked to their joined hands as Killian laced his fingers with hers, encouraging her to grip onto his fingers with a gentle squeeze.

Emma felt like she couldn’t breathe. Killian didn’t have to bring her to the hospital, and he didn’t have to wait with her. He most certainly didn’t have to offer her an out for her pain, especially in the form of his hand in hers. The walls around Emma’s heart cracked, and when Killian smiled at her reassuringly, Emma was sure that one side of her defense crumbled.

Emma pinched her eyes closed and hissed. The needle pierced her skin for the last time, the burning liquid being injected into the wound site as deep down as the stitches would go.

“All done,” The nurse declared, capping the needle and sliding to the side of the room where she deposited it into the designated receptacle.

Emma let out the breath she had been holding, and all she heard was her heart pounding in her ears. She released her hold on Killian and he too let out a breath she hadn’t realised he was holding.

“Alright?” he asked her softly, almost a whisper. Emma nodded quickly, swallowing and puffing a short pant out and across her upper lip.

“Okay, sweetie, now to the stitching part,” the nurse announced as she arrived back at the bedside and pulled on a new set of gloves. A wisp of white powder escaped into the air when she snapped the cuff to her wrist but evaporated almost immediately. “Don’t worry,” she smiled at Killian and then Emma. “I’m very good at sewing.”

The stitching part was still painful but was somewhat dulled by the numbing agent. Emma felt just a little pressure in her palm, following by the oddest sensation as the blue, plastic suture was pulled through her skin, knitting the edges together with a knot.

Killian felt Emma tighten her grip once more and she turned her head away from what the nurse was doing. It was unexpected of her, almost childlike, and he frowned a little when he saw Emma shy away.

“I thought you were brave, love,” he leaned forward and whispered into Emma’s ear. His breath tickled the shell of her ear and Emma peeled her eyes open to look at him. She swallowed hard, the sudden lump in her dry throat difficult to manage. Killian’s face was so close to hers and Emma’s breath hitched in her chest, the light blue of his eyes suddenly more of a grey colour.

“I am,” Emma’s voice quivered when the tip of her nose brushed against his as she turned to face him. Emma’s green orbs flitted between Killian’s dusty blues and his lips.

Kiss him.

Staring into each other's eyes made the world fall away from them, and Emma wondered what exactly her own words had meant. She was sure that when Killian had asked her if she was brave, he wasn’t talking about getting stitches.

Kiss him, Emma. Listen to yourself.

Killian rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, swallowing hard. The emerald sparkle in Emma’s eyes was obsessively alluring, and Killian couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. There was a ferocity in her stare, something deep down that made Killian begin to sweat under his hairline. His tongue darted out to moisten his smile and Emma could have sworn that it touched the plumpness of her parted lips.

Emma felt like she might explode. She wasn’t sure if she was frozen to the spot because of fear of Killian kissing her, or because she was scared he might not.

“Right, you’re done,” the nurse’s southern drawl shook them both from their reverie as she patted Emma on the knee again. Emma pulled her hand from Killian’s and coughed a little, clearing her throat. Killian sat back in his chair, running his hand through his hair as he sank back into the seat.

“Thanks,” Emma smiled at her, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

The nurse looked at Killian and gave him a sweet grin. “You can take her home whenever you feel ready,” she winked as she left them alone once more.

Emma laughed, hiding her face in her hand.

“Don’t be so dismissive of the doctor’s orders,” Killian told her smugly, scratching the skin behind his ear again.

“She’s a nurse,” Emma said flatly, hopping from the bed and giving him a warning look. “Don’t get any ideas, Jones.”

“Did you not enjoy yourself today?” Killian smirked.

“Worst date ever,” Emma teased, flicking her hair over her shoulder with her good hand.

Killian flicked his wrist and looked at the time on his watch. They had been in the hospital for nearly four hours and it was most certainly now lunch time. “Let me take you to lunch so that I may make it up to you.”

Emma studied his face, the tension from their almost kiss now seemingly non existent. She bit the inside of her mouth and eyed him suspiciously. “It’s not a date,” Emma said defiantly, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Killian shook his head. “Most certainly not.”

“Right, okay,” Emma relaxed a little, smoothing the wrinkles out of her top with one hand. She just wanted to get out of the hospital.

“Don’t worry, Swan,” Killian began cockily, turning to face her as he walked backwards out of the cubicle. He quirked his eyebrow and ran his tongue over his teeth. It seemed now that he knew Emma would have no lasting damage to her hand, his arrogance had returned. “Our date will be something you will not want to forget in such a hurry.”

[cafephan]

dan and phil play golf with friends #2: a summary

DanandPhilGames caddy lads "you loved it, you were like yes the golf lifestyle, i'm wearing expensive polo shirts i'm sipping an overpriced drink, im nattering with the business fellows and hitting that ball" says dan whilst well in the knowledge most of us are shut away in our bedrooms in our pyjamas with not a penny to our name and sipping on tap water "so we're here in the dan and phil golf club and there is a certain dress code, dan" i like to take this as phil foreshadowing the beautiful fashion choices dan is making during this singapore trip even though he clearly isn't foreshadowing anything moment of appreciation for the singapore trip's outfit choices tho please moment over thirty three seconds in we get the first fond glance, hopefully the first of many "the only short sleeved short i have is creased, phil" the look that he's giving phil reeaaalllyyy makes me wonder how it got creased... "i don't care, just go get it on" says phil the fashion meister helllooooo moth shirt my favourite my best friend my one true love "we had green shit in our hair for like three hours after we put these on" who needs context amirite "dan thought i threw these away but no i've been secretly hiding them" ok but how is that so domestic "look how erect my flag is today" / "list of things you should like never say again...." (unless they're off camera to me) ((i finished the quote that the jumpcut edited out)) "you know the rules. we can only do one dan vs phil per game" is that a rule? have they said that before? okay sure let's roll with it they're playing for the burger socks from a few liveshows ago "i ordered this for a friend but they sent two" sure phil a company would clearly go out of their way to send two of the same product meaning they'd be out of profit,,, your friend definitely didn't just give them back to you "do i want to eat them or wear them?" i'm certain that this is not the first time that sentence has come out of dan's mouth "are you excited by that? do you want that? on your feet?" / "i so want the cheese on my foot." *jumpcut* *phil says literally one word and dan is already grinning at him* f o n d "this is something to watch like a sport, and enjoy like a sport" unless you're making a summary of this video meaning you have to rewind every two seconds thanks phil "lingering banter... just enjoy the time between jokes" *both giggle like the dorks they are* "you liked the last one, so strap yourselves in for some golf" "we need to customise our balls" can dan go one gaming vid without dragging tumblr like i go through all of this effort for you pls don't drag me you little curly haired shit "[about the colour of his ball] i would call that moonlight dolphin" dan has gone for plain white this time does this represent him emotionally who knows at the time of filming i like symbolism and connotations they're fun "oh my gosh, it's like... goodness has returned" phil why are you so cute "i'm calling our room dogs9000 today" / "very appropriate" first of all why is it appropriate second of all is that what they called their room on the tour bus "stop. they just do what they want. stop telling them what to do." / "i guess that's valid. i'm sorry, butterflies, you do you." "i'm like so oasis right now" "ancient egypt is my favourite historical period so i'd like to delve into there" i think i've found the next fic trend why are they using the chatroom when their chairs are literally touching and from the front angle it looks as if their hands are too "my pole is so tall you can't even see the flag" again my gut instinct is that it isn't the first time those words have come out of phil's mouth "... and other sentences that phil will never say again" (unless they're off camera to me) ((i finished his quote for him again he should pay me for this)) "beginnu" / "golf it up" dan has more fluidity in his hand movements than phil does take what you will from that information "here we go" / "here we golf" tag urself "oh you're inside my ball again" / "we're already freaking out inside each other" *phil laughs a lot and grins then followed by a mysterious jumpcut* "bit too much power for danny there" dan is already being a sore loser but he can't help but be all smiley that phil is all smiley and jokey phil cheers him on still "if i can get it in now, it'll be okay" i've said it once and i'll say it again... definitely not the first time those words have been said by danny boy they clean up the whole two computer debacle "i'm deceived by the curves" joint vibing and dancing to the music "you're in africa the hole is in antarctica" mister geography "you absolute cheeky little twit" a new addition to the list of fond insults from dan to phil sore loser dan continues to thrive phil manages to screw up literally the easiest shot in the world??? i love you boy but oh how you suck at this game and now dan is smiling again what a sadistic lil tot "welcome to the land of pain and misery" thanks dan for my new bio dan's lovely lady gaga rendition gets cut short by a jumpcut wtf give me the good stuff i deserve it oh he finished the rendition what a pair of lungs on that kid *phil definitely says 'oh shit'* "i didn't swear then" yes you did just accept your potty mouth perfect opportunity to kick the old branding to the curb a girl can dream ok "oh you're going to be stuck for ten hours, phil, how is this going to go" "i can't even see myself... oh i went in" seriously how many times in one video can my gut instinct tell me dan's said these sentences before in his lifetime "the power of wobbling knocked me in" "that felt good to me" "my lovely philly lumps, check 'em out" what a beautiful rendition phil i would buy it on itunes / "...things you should never say again, volume twelve" cocky dan strikes again "you okay there?" / "i'm feeling very emotional about this" "par? more like cheat" / "that's par for the course" please stop talking over each other this summary takes long enough as it is without having to rewind ten times "oh we're the same now" / "now we're even" / "i was so happy with my lead" / "guess we're going to have to cut our feet in half" / "yeah..." *phils cute laugh* "that's obviously just saying go for it... but how much power?" / "smack it" i imagine this is phil's outlook on life six minutes fifty four seconds in... rip headphone users "we're gonna take like eleven goes at this" not if you both strikeout, my guy "this is so much harder than the last one" phil please don't make this too easy for me "please release us from this hell" i'd like to thank the universe for the occasional slivers of dan skin we see through the gaps in his shirt buttons "i'll happily sit here for three and a half hours now whilst phil gets it in" ... oh come on it's definitely not the first time he's said that sentence drinking game: take a shot every time they say 'yes' or 'yeah' that'll get you drink awfully quick "get out of my zone! stop touching me!" / "knock. knock." stop talking over each other please i beg of you "i'll touch you when i please..." okay dan you are aware of the camera pointing at you right phil's reaction is all of us at dan just saying that sentence "... don't say that again" (unless it's off camera to me) ((now i'm apparently finishing phil's sentences for him, he should pay me too)) "i'm so sorry for this whole video" ty dan cocky dan is here to stay, it seems like dan got so cocky that he fucked up i love life "that's what you get for being cocky!" i love phil "i'm out of strokes? that's how bad i was?" i don't know why my gut instinct is telling me phil's said that before but... anyway "you are now... eight over my score, phil." look at dans hands he's dying to do a mr burns impression and say excellent "that was a mystery adventure if i ever saw one" "*sigh* oh phil" "phil, phil, dear me" in all the videos of this game i've watched before nobody managed to make that pillar shot and yet dan does it on his first try...... sure okay "king of golf. yes." / "shush" phil made it too yay "guys if you're feeling like i'm just going to lose, i'm really going to try from now on" he looked at the camera like he meant it *dan looks over* "phil's gonna take this so seriously. no more bants, just solid golf seriousness" dan do you just stop listening to yourself when you talk "solid whacking" / "okay in the list of things that are serious, saying 'solid whacking', that's- that's not up there" *dan two seconds later* "so i'm just gonna whack it" "boom... slide... crack" i'm not even trying to analyse that "how would anakin do this" "i was using the force! did you see?" / *dan smiles fondly* "no i didn't" "if you whack me over the edge i'm going to bury you alive" "shit fucking wank fuck" "how did you get that wrong?" i'm still asking that question to phil about that other hole dan i feel you "that was sexual" / "that was the most erotic math based experience i've ever had" / "i liked that" "the skateboarding teenager inside me wants to go back and do this" / "could skateboarding teenage phil ever have skated around that?" / "he would have said that he could do it, but he would've fallen off... and hit his head" / "it's the trying that counts" "oh philly philly two whack" the game either wants phil to win and keeps sabotaging dan, dan wants phil to win and he keeps sabotaging himself, or dan is just that bad at the game he keeps fucking up i'd put my money on the latter "i want to have children with this course" first of all there will be fics of this and i will turn over in my grave, secondly poor janice :( "shitty fuck no i need to be in a straight line" "i wouldn't trust that with a barge pole" king of the english language "miss miss" phil being the ever supportive best friend "lara croft would... love this" "remember that you owe me two strokes" / *sassily* "no i don't" / "yeah you do, the game broke" / "that's-that's your fault" / *laughs* "no it's not!" this is literally the conversation that defines their friendship and it is beautiful "he's the one that's trolling me by stopping my ball" dan pls "i'm going in" / "do it, phil" you're just making it too damn easy for me "i would watch golf on tv if phil commentated it" dan you would watch anything that phil was even remotely involved with dan the sore loser back again dan is doing some kind of animal impression and if sounds as if it's a bird in heat or something "you wanna say that's not count (*literally dan wtf*) see the comments. they'll be- they'll be ju-thirsty for justice." not considering you drag us every chance you get you lil shit #teamphil also dan is tumbling over his words so much this video is he okay dan makes up a stupid penalty for phil to do because the game apparently hates him but in reality he just sucks, and phil goes along with it because he's phil how the hell did dan manage to jump over the high wall "i just left clicked and i bobbed.. i wasn't supposed to bob" "that's definitely not in- okay you did it" oooh one point difference "oh i didn't get some dinghy time then" "how ya doin? nice to see you there" "believe in the power" "you did a much more satisfying one than me" "your non-gender specific caddy gimp would need to be fanning you..." / "caddy gimp?" / "yeah" / "i'd just want them to put me on a camel, give me a pina colada, play golf for me... and i'd just be like this on my laptop" we all know phil loves his pina colada *wink wink* "... yeah that's the dream" well we know dan's opinion on pina colada don't we *wink wink* "leona lewis would hate you" shots fired "yes i did just cheat by looking at your bar" / "you can't look at my bar!" / "oh well i just did!" cocky dan back with his questionable sounds "he's thinking about how tasty your ball is right now" "yes sphinx daddy, let's go" "climbing inside the pyramid vagina" "you've got a mystical glow about you" "you're kind of ruining the vibe" "look how much you're illuminating the whole" dan the cocky sod literally looks like a child rn "i don't know what's happening but i'm excited by it" did phil just channel his inner chandler from friends bc that is all too similar to the chandler quote "tease it in" / "never say that again" "that deserves extra points that was incredible" proud bf phil "ooh toasty ball" they're helping each other along aw "i mean fuck the dan vs phil board... this is a prize worth playing for" *dan shakes the burger socks* the game broke so they restarted it and they now have the same score wooow "this is not how god wanted it but this is what's happening" phil says as he takes his two shot penalty "i don't think, erm, if god does exist, in any form, that He would give a shit about this game, phil" / "i think he would" dan gives phil a full rundown on his math-based plan "you copied my strats!" "let me just sniff these socks" / "ew" "are you more of a leftie or a rightie?" / "i'm gonna be... rightie as that is what i write with" rip all you leftie philgirls "how do you know? you don't know left and right" bloody hell dan calm down "it's a bridge to cleopatra's bedroom" *phil lands on the pyramid* "is he wearing any underwear?" "everyone who doesn't know math right now is just like... whirring with calculations right now" actually i'm just sat here typing this so screw you howell you don't know me "i'm just going to max power it over here" did anyone else think of the simpsons? when homer changes his name? anyone at all? okay then "that means i win!" phil shouts enthusiastically and claps his hands together phil continues to clap it ends as a draw!!!! "so does that mean we've gotta share the socks?" "i want the cheese- i want the lettuce" phil bless you "it'll be like those people that get like best friend necklaces that complete each other except for us it's burger socks." *modelling the socks* "look at those dank socks" "the best bit is when you went through the sphinx's mouth and when you went through the uterus" they'd be up for another vid yes please i need one!!!!!! n e e d!!! the twilight course would be next "now we're gonna pick the green stuff out of our hair... go on phil, groom me like a monkey" dan. "get that moss out" seriously. dan. danisnotsandy auterusphil (which of them did this) also phil pretended to eat whatever he just supposedly groomed from dans head okay eventful video.

[janeaustentextposts]

Question! I noticed - maybe I'm wrong - that in all the adaptations, the casting for the main characters is similar: Darcy is dark haired, and so is Lizzie; Jane is blonde and (for some fascinating reason) Bingley is ginger-y. Is there a reason? something in the books that I missed? Some extra source? It seemed too much a coincidence (although I do love Ginger Bingley) thanks!!!

First off, I’m going to refer back to Mullan’s What Matters in Jane Austen? again, because he’s done a whole chapter on what her characters look like (and starts off with a basic examination of casting choices in adaptations and the admiration or outrage which always follows.) “How people look is often suggested rather than specified in Austen’s novels.” He then goes on to quote Sterne’s Tristram Shandy, “…paint her to your own mind–as like your mistress as you can–as unlike your wife as your conscience will let you.”

All we know of Jane is that she is considered very beautiful–as much is said by Bingley, her mother (who has no difficulty criticizing her children when they displease her,) and even Darcy must admit it as a fact. Looks are important in novels where often penniless girls must rely on other attractions in their manners and person–”…words used so frequently about characters when we first meet them: handsome, pretty, gentlemanlike, elegant…”. And yet she avoids specifics–perhaps as a reaction to other novels of her era, where a heroine’s precise points of beauty are totted up among her other virtues to make her a peerless wonder. Austen’s heroines are often described by other characters, rather than the narration, as it’s important to consider who is looking, and how, when looking at their judgements. Some people use a mention in Jane Austen’s letters about Jane wearing the colour green and Elizabeth preferring yellow to be some kind of marker of what their haircolours must have been in Austen’s mind’s eye, but that’s a tenuous argument at best, and if Austen had wanted the world in general to know imagined particulars about Jane and Elizabeth, she would have set them down in the text.

We know Elizabeth’s eyes are fine, and dark, but beyond that, we are given no details. On a genetic level, dark eyes are far more likely to occur in people with darker hair, but Austen wasn’t working with genetics–and dark eyes paired with lighter hair can sometimes be a rare sign of remarkable beauty, as in the descriptions of Irene in Galsworthy’s Forsyte Saga books. (A description which was entirely ignored in the casting of my future wife Gina McKee, but then Irene’s beauty and her allure is such a pivotal force in the novels that to pin it down as necessarily belonging to certain shades of colouring is to make it more trite than it truly is. Irene’s beauty is something beyond what one sees at first glance–it is transcendent charm.) Dark could mean brown, or also a very dark blue or grey–it’s impossible to tell, exactly. Anne Elliott’s eyes are mild and dark, Fanny Price’s are soft and light, Harriet Smith’s are blue, Jane Fairfax’s a deep grey, (and her lashes and eyebrows called dark, giving us some notion of the likely shade of her hair,) Mary Crawford’s are sparkling and dark…eyes are often the only thing near to a solid description we are given of physical attributes, and even then half of the description is more to do with the expression of the personality or feeling of the character through their glances and gazes, rather than specifically the colour of their irises. (Only Emma Woodhouse’s exact eye-colour is known–they are “hazle” and no adaptation so far has given enough of a shit to make certain of casting.) Marianne Dashwood has very dark eyes, and there is a general comparative description of the figures of the two sisters–but casting directors rarely, if ever, I think, take specifics of figures into account beyond an ‘acceptable’ level of Hollywood slimness.Now, for the casting trends (exceptions to the pattern you laid out being the 1940 P&P’s Greer Garson being a dirty-blonde/light brown Elizabeth, while Maureen O’Sullivan’s Jane had very dark hair; and the 1980 miniseries with Elizabeth Garvie’s Eliza also having light brown hair while Sabina Franklyn’s Jane was several shades darker–but indeed, the two more recent and well-known adaptations of 1995 and 2005 have the colourings you mentioned,) it’s probably just down to Hollywood mechanics where you’re going to have to combine the tropes of a comparative Ugly Duckling sister as well as a Best Friend/Beta Couple plotline. Coding a blonde woman (or man) as ‘good’ and a darker-haired person as ‘less good’ has been a Thing since long before cinema showed up on the scene. There’s a reason Laura Ingalls spends so much time inwardly (and outwardly) bitching about her sister Mary’s luck in being blonde (and also better-behaved, though this is never explicitly tied to the fact that Mary is blonde, but just ties INTO the overall notion that Mary is The Better Daughter.) Dark-haired heroines throughout older literature have bemoaned their lack of golden locks (notably also in LM Montgomery’s works, with Anne Shirley’s famous sensitivity about her hair being red, but also briefly in Emily Starr’s contemplation of her own black hair and atypical looks, which gets a bit of verse thrown at it which I can’t find sourced anywhere else so must have been made up by Montgomery herself: “If the bards of old the truth have told the sirens had raven hair. But over the earth since art had birth, they paint the angels fair.“So culturally, in the west, there’s a pervasive notion (especially when it comes to women,) that dark-haired women are the ‘darker’ side of their humanity…the temptresses, the more-likely-to-be-bad. (Though any reasonable reader would be like “…well, they’re human, you see, not out-and-out evil.”) But of course anyone compared to the fair-haired saintly paragon of womanhood would look bad–and so equally is the angelic blonde woman a trope in literature, often but not always used in comparisons against her brunette foil.

In cinema, quite often it’s just to better differentiate between characters, and to use these assumptions which are deeply entrenched in our cultures to play upon our immediate and almost instinctive reactions to visual cues. Jane is super-good, so she’s blonde. Bingley is likewise a bright and easy-going character, with more elements of comedy about him, so he’s got lighter hair, too, either as a strawberry blonde or redhead–but he is definitely the sidekick. I, personally, would be all for a ginger Darcy. Or a ginger-everybody P&P. (But that’s not going to happen, because redheaded men are culturally de-sexed/made less masculine or attractive, whereas redheaded women are more inclined to be overly-sexualized. Humanity is weird.) Darcy is a brooding brunette, because darker hair in the case of a male character gives them gravitas and mystery. It’s that damn Byronic thing coming into play. Dark hair, dark secrets. It’s a visual construct we’ve trapped ourselves into, at this point. Also, when you’ve got two love-stories running more or less concurrently, an audience needs visual markers to help them quickly identify and individualize (and therefore emotionally-invest in) the characters. More morally-dubious and fascinating hero and heroine Elizabeth and Darcy are brunettes because we see them making mistakes and drawing our attention by being fuck-ups. Lizzie can’t be the Prettier Sister, so she’s more automatically made the Brunette Underdog. Darcy is brooding and mysterious–so it’s very easy to make him dark-haired. Their contrasts are in their secondary characters–Jane and Bingley. Jane is prettier, and good-hearted (moreso than Eliza, anyway,) so she ascends to Blonde. Bingley is the Good Friend, and seemingly with fewer social defects compared to Darcy, so as the Nice Man, he gets lighter hair to also differentiate him from Darcy and make him more matchy-matchy with Jane. Our brains are making these connections based on visuals even before we’ve gotten half a dozen words of dialogue from any of these people.

This happens often in films and TV shows–in Coppola’s Dracula, Sadie Frost (a natural brunette) was made a vibrant redhead as Lucy to contrast to Winona Ryder’s more sedate and mysterious Mina. (Though this also had the fun effect of tying in a possible reference to the historical link between redhaired people and vampires, and the whole mythos of redhaired women in particular and sexual allure/witchcraft/spiritual evil–particularly as THIS version of Lucy is much more heavily sexualized compared to her book counterpart. I don’t know how much of the hair-colour-change was on purpose from Coppola’s perspective, and largely it’s just handwaved as being so people could really tell apart the ONLY TWO MAJOR FEMALE CHARACTERS IN THE FILM, but personally I think it’s an interesting choice–particularly compared to Katie McGrath’s blonde Lucy.) Again, we see the contrasting of virtue coded in hair-colouring, as Lucy is a character known for her sweetness and purity…as well as being a secondary female character to the heroine, and hence her more-virtuous foil…with lighter hair. Mina’s place as an educated, working, and married woman, with a more active part in the narrative, particularly as her brushes with dark forces mark her as ‘unholy’, makes it easier to code her as ‘complicated’, i.e. a brunette. Interestingly, this is set on its head in Penny Dreadful, where Mina becomes the blonde, doomed damsel, and her friend/lover Vanessa is the raven-haired woman at the center of a maelstrom of fucked up shit full of vampires, witches, and devils. Essentially if you want your heroine to go ‘bad’ a little (or a lot), give her a better-by-comparison blonde friend and have at it.Of course, since these tropes are so pervasive, we do see stories where this is purposefully mirrored or mocked, where the icy blonde is the femme fatale or turncoat who uses her appeal to deceive others–but this relies just as heavily on the initial assumption that a fair-haired character is intrinsically ‘better’ on a moral level.To conclude, this is why I think we see that general trend with colouring when it comes to casting/styling these characters in cinematic adaptations, as we have really very little in the text to go on, but from the characters themselves there are long traditions to draw from for visual cues to quickly and adeptly condition audiences to draw certain assumptions about these characters which enable us to rapidly bond with and understand them to some degree. I want to specify “Western” audiences because the blonde/brunette thing is at its roots kind of a colourism thing which is grossly pervasive in a white supremacist society going back for centuries, and Caucasian beauty standards do not and should not apply globally; but as the media most of us are familiar with is dominated by this white heteronormative patriarchal history, these tropes and codings exist for ultimately gross reasons. Frankly we could all do without them from this day forward, but change can be slow and so these stereotypes continue to exist and blonde people on-screen for now often continue to be the tacit code for ‘these people are the purest bestest people’ while the darker-haired people are almost always more morally-grey, complicated–even troubling–and made more ‘fascinating’ by their more flawed natures. It’s a shitty way of doing things, but we’ve been culturally conditioned to respond to things like that, and so it works.Anyway, thanks for asking this one–my answer went to places I wasn’t fully expecting me to go, but I enjoyed blowing the dust off my film studies qualifications and I always love yelling about culture.

[victoriabrownproducer-blog]

Last Summer I spent a week doing work experience at Halo Post Production. Here is the Diary I kept during that week.

Day One – Monday 27th June 2016

Today I started Work Experience at Halo Post Production. I was introduced to the runner team and shown round the buildings. This alone taught me a lot because this place is used by people from the industry to edit real films and TV shows. The company provides the facilities for production companies to use to edit. They use AVID and Pro Tools which are programmes I’ve used at university which is brilliant and I feel more prepared for the industry from knowing how to use them. The runner team were really nice and there were quite a few of them. Their job is to bring to clients whatever they ask for which is mostly Tea, Coffee or Toast. The runner team is based in a little kitchen and they have a phone which can be called from any of the client rooms or reception. All the runners were fairly young and aspired to work in the industry in some way. The jobs they wanted varied which reinforces the idea that everyone starts off as a runner. There have been some high profile people at the company so the runners said it was a great opportunity for networking as giving a client a good experience will make them more likely to befriend you and help you further your career. I’d opted to dress formally because I wasn’t sure of the dress code. When I arrived I realised I was overdressed. The runners had to wear T-Shirts with the company’s logo on but with that most wore jeans and trainers because it seems this industry doesn’t mind what you look like so it’s best to dress comfortably and practically. The casual attitude to clothing was not translated to their service as they made sure everything that was given to clients was of a high standard.

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Day Two – Tuesday 28th June 2016

Today I learnt a lot more about fitting client’s specifications. The company pays so much attention to detail when it comes to what the client wants. They always put the items on a clean tray and I was instructed to be very friendly and emphasise that if they need anything just to ask. I also had to do a lot of moving heavy things. The company is moving it’s accounts office to another building so everything had to be moved from the 3rd floor of the old building to the 2nd floor of the new building (Which was luckily only across the road from the old one). The stuff was very heavy and it was strenuous work but that’s the reality of being a runner – you do whatever is needed as you’re the first port of call to do the basic jobs. For the first time I did a toilet check which meant going round all the bathrooms and checking they were clean and tidy. Once again I was amazed by how much effort had been put into making things pleasant for the client. The bathroom bins were emptied every hour and were always well stocked with everything from candles to deodorant. It really showed me the standard of service that is required for this industry.

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Day Three – Wednesday 29th June 2016

Today was quieter and there weren’t as many orders, because of this me and the other work experience people were allowed to talk to the tech team about what they do. They talked about transcoding footage into AVID which was stuff I’d learnt at Uni but that was interesting in itself because it’s reassuring to know that what I’m currently learning at Uni is relevant to the industry. The tech guy mentioned equipment such as the C300 that I’ve used so that was great. They told us that they’d all started off as runners and built their way up into the area they liked which had taken them a long time so that’s something to prepare for “it’s going to be about 10 years before you’re where you want to be in the industry”.  We also had to move more of the accountant’s stuff to the new building which again was tough but it’s all part of the job.

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Day Four – Thursday 30th June 2016

Today was another quitter day at Halo as there seemed to be even less orders but I guess that’s how the industry works – some days loads happens and others not so much. I made a couple of mistakes today, I dropped a bottle of milk that I’d just been sent out to get and it burst. I also messed up buying a client’s lunch by getting the wrong sandwich and being unable to exchange it. I felt awful about both of these incidences because the company paid the extra costs (I offered to but they declined) and it caused an inconvenience. Everyone was really nice about it and reassured me that mistakes do get made every now and then. I made sure I owned up to my mistakes and apologised to everyone involved which shows that people are understanding and making one mistake doesn’t make people doubt your abilities, especially when you’re still learning.

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Day Five – Friday 1st July 2016

Today was quite a busy day although there were quieter gaps. The runners were preparing some croissants for all the clients so that made things busier. There was also more stuff to move to the new office but luckily I didn’t have to carry anything down the stairs again because I was just told to wait at the front of the building and keep an eye on the stuff that had been brought down. The highlight of the day was when I took a tea to one of the colour graders. I volunteered to take this one because whenever I’d delivered stuff to him before he’d been particularly nice. Most people would just say ‘Thanks’ under their breath and be so engrossed in their editing that they don’t even look at you but there were a few that were much more friendly. This man started telling me a bit about the project he was working on and asked me what area I was interested in. Sensing the tone I thought it was okay to ask questions so we had a little chat about how he got into the industry and it was all really interesting and great to hear from someone whose actually gotten to where they want to be. He also said some stuff about how in London you can specialise in what you do but if you go further afield the projects have smaller budgets so you’ll probably need to do a broader job. This was useful advice for when I start tot think about my post-graduate location. I’ve really enjoyed my week at Halo Post, it was so eye opening about how the industry works and everyone was so kind and eager to answer my questions. It was also great preparation as at some point I will have to work as a runner. It was such a lovely company and I really admire how much respect everyone shows each other despite the differences in status, everyone is treated the same whether they’re a runner, editor, receptionist, tech support, colour grader or even a simple work experience person – everyone is equal.

[aru2017]

3-1 = 2

1st things first. This is not a post slandering the team member who left the group.

The past 13ish weeks of development have been very grueling and tricky. We took a new idea and tried to create it correctly, this turned out to not be the case due to team members.

The issues arose from our very first prototype “TrumpaLumpa”. Adam committed very little to the project except for downloading some audio files - not making them, downloading them and adding them tot he file explorer, not actually in the game so they would play. Just the project files themselves. Adam was also the project manager for this project and did very little work again. I had to tell him jobs to do even though he was the manager. This was however forgiven as it was a simple and small prototype.

For the 2nd prototype we decided to scrap the original idea and move to the idea we have no. Adam was lead programmer for the 2 weeks. No code was created by Adam. I tasked him with even making a simple controller for the car. Nothing amazing, just to make it move. It took 2 weeks for Adam to add any code into the game. This script was found to be plagiarized from the internet. Adam had simply copied and pasted someone else works online and claimed it as his own. The best thing is that the script didnt work as it was from someone online asking others for help. (We didnt find this out until 1 week ago). Myself and Liam were so frustrated with Adam over the lack of work he had produced as this was “his time to shine” and make up from the previous project and previous prototype. Myself and Liam have no issue with lack of knowledge, its lack of motivation.To help Adam i gave him the basic pseudo code for the controller. Get the rigidbody and apply a force along an axis. Sounds simple doesnt it. As i said the script we were given didnt work etc. I sat Adam down and created the script myself in literally 5 minutes. Something it took Adam to do in 2 weeks and still do wrong.

Once again i forgave Adam as he is my friend and decided to give him the role of artist to see if he could do better. He started off very slow until he was threatened with expulsion from the group. This kicked him into gear and he made some really really awesome models. There were some issues with them but i was just happy he was doing work. After 2/3 weeks of work he had 7 low poly vehicles, a pyramid, LP snowman and a fence post. He was also tasked with creating multiple particle effects but only 1 was created.

On the final project Adam still hadnt done any programming. I gave him the task of creating a shop in which the player can purchase items to use in game. It took him 12 hours to add 6 images and 6 text boxes. Once again, nothing was coded. He also had to create 64x64 colours for the map. We described them as Minecraft textures. He game back with ¾ 64x64 of a solid colour. Something that would take seconds to create. He was also in charge of testing and audio. Once again no audio was added and no testing was done. I think there may be one bug report he done.

If my memory serves me correctly over the entire project Adam has

Added 2 audio files

Created a logo by putting 2 images ontop of each other

Made a gannt chart (i told him to)

Made a very basic and useless Trello

Plagiarized a script which never worked

Created 7 good low poly vehicles (They had some minor issues)

Low poly snow man

Low poly pyramid

Fence post

Particle system

6 images and 6 text boxes

I think that is it. It has been a hindrance rather than helpful as if we knew there would only be 2 of us from the start we would of managed our time better to fulfill the tasks in which Adam was supposed to do. We never wanted this to happen and i always gave tasks to Adam to help him gain marks in the project. Time and time again he refused to do any work.

The last thing Adam sent to the project was 20th-23rd March in which he added 1 vehicle, block colours and a particle system.

Unfortunately i am unable to show any history previous to that date as thats the date in which Adam corrupted the collab. An issue in which Unity had to contact me asking for more information.

On the 30th of April Adam decided he would leave the group and says he has been “working on his own game for months”. Why not focus your efforts into the current game? He removed all the vehicles from the game which made extra work for us to finish the game as we will have to model more vehicles, as well as fix scripts as they were built around the vehicles stats, rigibodies etc. Work we simply don’t have time to do

Overall, Adam promised me personally that he would “pull the finger out” for this project. He did not deliver and broke his promise, for that i can not forgive him as i am in risk of having bad grade due to him. I really wanted to release this game but that will never come true not.

An old saying is “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”. Adam is still my friend but i can not forgive him for a 3rd time and i will never ever work with him again.