#if its the dumbest most random scenario youve ever seen chances are its from a 2am page of the notes app with 0 spell check

[raineandsky]

#47

The agency is a place of horror, in the villain’s opinion—pristine white walls, blaring overhead lights, perfectly symmetrical tiled flooring. The place is, quite frankly, a minimalist nightmare.

So it’s a shame that the villain has to sit here, bored out of their mind, in the place they hate the most, with the person they hate the most.

“Oh, no, turn back the way you were facing.” The hero gestures slightly behind them with the tip of their pencil. A clipboard sits in their lap, well-loved and coated in pen marks. “The angle’s off.”

“I don’t know why you couldn’t just take a two second photo like everyone else,” the villain mutters with a scowl, adjusting uncomfortably in their cuffs, and the hero laughs like they’re joking.

“Because crime in the city is at an all-time-low and I’m bored.” The hero points a bit more violently with their pencil. “Now turn.”

They’re not allowed any goddamn dignity in this place, so they admit defeat and shift over slightly. The hero nods approvingly when they do, finally turning their gaze back down to paper in their hand, and the pair fall into silence. 

“You know I’m gonna be busting out, right?” the villain says after a moment. The quiet was nice until they figured out that the weird screeching noise downstairs was human voices. “I don’t really see the point in me being here.”

The hero hums in lazy acknowledgement. “I know, but catching you gives me something to do.” The pencil scratches down the page in waves, their eyes still resting on their masterpiece. “And you make for a good muse.”

Thank god their drawing is so interesting, or the hero would see the light blush staining the villain’s face. “I know I do,” they say in a vain attempt to save their quickly plummeting dignity. “I’m hot shit, everyone knows that.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty conventionally attractive. Makes for some good lines in a study.”

Why did they have to phrase it like that? “You can admit I’m hot, it’s okay. Everyone else does.”

“Everyone else lets visual aesthetic blind them to their sense of morality, but I don’t.” The hero’s gaze finally flits back up to them, the ghost of a smirk on their face. “You’re conventionally attractive. Take it or leave it.”

The villain scowls. “I’m going to pretend that’s a compliment.”

“It is in heroic terms.” The hero turns their clipboard around to show the criminal their drawing. “What do you think? Looks like you, right?”

The hero’s a damn good artist. It’s amazing. “It’s shit.”

Their answer only gets another laugh as the clipboard gets discarded on the desk. The hero gets to their feet with a stretch, motioning for the villain to do the same. “Let's get you to your cell so I can go on my lunch.”

The villain’s henchmen are probably nearby. A few minutes in a cell are nothing. “I hope your lunch tastes like dirt.”

The cell is just as grim as the villain remembers. The hero shoves them inside mercilessly, clunking the door shut behind them.

“Looking forward to chasing you down on your way out,” the hero says innocently. They glance down at their watch as it beeps rhythmically at them. “And for the record, I do think you’re hot.”

The villain makes a face somewhere between disbelief and flattered. “I thought you said I—”

“I’m on my lunch break.” They hold their watch up, reading exactly 13:00. “I can say what I want when I’m not on company time.”

“You follow the stupidest sets of rules like a dog,” the villain spits as the hero turns on their heel. “You have to admit you’re a little pathetic.”

“Your guys don’t usually take long to get here, right?” They’re already at the door, loitering on the threshold. “I’ll see you in, what, half an hour?”

“Fuck you.”

The hero laughs again. “You wish. Take the drawing on your way out, yeah?”

The villain very much intends to. They deserve it for the time out of their day, at least.