#if it wasn't obvious I LOVED this es

[esteemed-excellency]

[vivgst]

She hates monotony and loves the new challenge she finds in you, so she won't rest until she gets her way, as always (Part two).

Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/vivgst/738748127248531456/she-hates-monotony-and-loves-the-new-challenge-she

There's gonna be a part three btw (maybe more).

The way you had played with her made her see red although that really hadn't been your intention, because you weren't even interested in her, which for some reason only made her angrier, and she inevitably wanted to make you feel more, it was unfair that you went on with your life as if nothing had happened while she was being consumed by the memories of that night.

So she would see you again, she sent her men to pick you up, calling you was out of question, she would not lose her pride, she would rather lose a hand.

You arrived, wearing a black lace dress, a little more revealing than your previous outfit but you still looked just as spectacular, her men were enthralled, almost drooling all over the place but none of them were stupid enough to even dare to give you a lustful look.

One of them showed you where to go and you followed his order, going up the stairs and walking down the hallway while you judged the mansion and the little you had seen of it. It was a big and incredible place, however you could tell from miles away that it was nothing more than a place of decoration, it lacked warmth.

You were brought out of your thoughts when you reached the door to the room and entered, looking around. She was sitting at a desk and her gaze drifted from her papers to you, she frowned.

“You look worse for wear.” She said with an accusatory tone, it sounded like she was questioning you; you gave her a blank look and shrugged.

“If I disgust you then I can leave and someone else from the club will come.” You said bluntly and she looked at her papers again and when she looked up you didn't like what her eyes had.

The tinge of compassion in her eyes was barely perceptible but you hated it, you weren't there to be comforted or seen with pity, you couldn't feel that way with any client, you couldn't feel. Period.

“I didn't say you disgusted me.” She said and stood up from her chair, approaching you slowly and looking at your face. You only had a small cut on your eyebrow, your neck was the most bruised, full of scratches and red. "¿Quién chingados te hizo esto?" She demanded in a stern tone, you looked into her eyes and debated whether to tell her or not, but she would know anyway.

"Un cliente. Estoy acostumbrada". You said and she looked at you as if you had two heads, she was angry, enraged and it was obvious.

“How the hell do you allow people to treat you like that, chula?” You wanted to speak, but she wouldn't let you. “Dime el nombre de ese hijo de su puta madre.”

"No".

“I'm not asking.” She warned, however you shook your head again, unfazed by her growing anger.

“I won't tell you, it's my problem. I don't want you to interfere in my business, you're still just a client." She scoffed, looking at you in disbelief at your audacity, who the fuck did you think you were to say no to her?

“Don't think that-” You didn't let her finish speaking, you didn't want this, you didn't want another jealous client, you didn't want any more drama.

You also didn't want to feel vulnerable in her gaze or comforted by her anger at what he had done to you.

“I came to have sex, to be used, not to have this conversation.” You said coldly, she clenched her jaw, how could you even talk about yourself that way? She hated hearing you talk that way and act like that beating you got wasn't that big of a deal.

However, she was clearly overstepping your limits and she knew you would tell her to go to hell if you wanted to, you weren't afraid of her.

That was making her angrier, it was no longer fun.

“This time you're not going to do whatever the hell you want, we don't need to remember that I'm the one paying, right?”

If she couldn't get the information she wanted from your own mouth, then she would get on your nerves some other way.

She slid your dress off your body delicately, as if you were made of glass, her fingers brushing against your skin that was incredibly cold. Her hands were warm and ran over your body as if it was easy, as if they knew the route by heart, which again, made you feel vulnerable in her presence.

As your dress fell to the floor, she gently leaned you against the wall, her hands moving over your breasts, grazing the sensitive skin of them. Your gaze was on the floor, you were melting in her hands, but your pride wouldn't let you give in, it never did.

“We can skip the romance and-” Her hand wrapped around your mouth and she gave you a grin as she shook her head, she wasn’t going to let you ruin it, she was going to take what she wanted from you.

"I don't want to". She spoke in a hoarse voice, her hands moving down your entire torso until they got between your legs, torturing you, teasing you.

And suddenly she dropped to her knees, lifting your leg onto her shoulder before burying her face between your thighs. You stifled a gasp and pressed yourself further against the wall when you felt her tongue slide gently through your wet folds, your legs weakened with every movement she made on you and even though you bit your lip to not make any noise it was impossible for you not to grab a fistful of her hair, which made her smirk against your skin.

Nothing was on your mind anymore, you were focused on the feeling of heat that swirled in your belly and how she began to lightly suck on your swollen bud which, inevitably, made you moan.

Well, there was no point in playing hard to get when she was feeling how wet you were, right? So fuck it.

You relaxed noticeably, your body began to give in to the pleasure she was giving you and you wanted more, your hips rocked against her lips and you were loving the feeling of her tongue on your wet cunt.

But you needed more.

So you pulled her towards you, making her stand up to crash your lips against hers, kissing her with a hunger you didn't know you felt for her. Valeria immediately kissed you back, her hands wrapping around your waist to press her body against yours and guided you as best as she could to the bed, making you lie down. She quickly got rid of her clothes and you let her adjust you on the bed until one of your legs was over one of her legs and her other leg was over your opposite one.

Just the light brush of your flesh against hers made you hiss, she gave you a smug smile, she was loving how horny and needy you were.

Soon she began to move her hips softly, slowly, which left you even more breathless and you caught your lower lip between your teeth, you tried to move your hips in an attempt to keep up with the rhythm but she kept you in place.

“But you wanted to save yourself the romance, right?” She asked mockingly and you glared at her.

“Fuck you.” You breathed out and she let out a laugh that ended in a hoarse groan, this was just what Valeria had been imagining for days, having you underneath her writhing and moaning.

Valeria began to move faster, her hips rocking more erratically, less precisely, and you found yourself close to your climax, your thighs tightening as she kept pressing and grinding her lower lips into yours.

And she looked down at you, oh… the way she looked at you while letting out light gasps was enough to make you come, Valeria’s orgasm meeting yours at the sight of your body and you losing yourself.

The two of you stayed there, lying in bed, Valeria's arm casually around your waist and you were falling asleep when you felt her move, she was going to leave, you didn't know where or why but you didn't want her to and you clung to her.

You wanted to say, “stay with me, I don't want to be alone” but you had already given in too much and you felt ashamed. She got the message though and you felt her body relax once again causing you to fall into a deep sleep.

But morning came and with it the realization of what had happened. You had sex, not like the sex you’d have with a client, it was passionate you even came, you enjoyed it.

You wanted to hit yourself, what the hell was that? You couldn't collect your dignity because you had thrown it all away yesterday, what you did do was get out of bed as slowly as you could, you picked up your clothes and dressed stealthily.

You couldn't do this again, you couldn't see her again, so you left without waking her and vowing never to see her again.

[barleyo]

Hii, if you’re still in the fandom can you write dadMiguel o hara x daughterfemreader incest and maybe a piss kink🤭

Secret Shame.

Real Dad! Miguel X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: Sorry this is so short!! I wanted to get it out on Father's Day for obvious reasons haha!! I'm super into piss, so I just did what I personally enjoy, so I hope you like it :3

Tags: incest (daddy-daughter), legal age gap (18-late 40s), piss kink, piss drinking, watersports, oral (m receiving), poorly translated Spanish

Wordcount: 1k

It was natural to be curious, it was what your dad loved most about you! 

You had never seen a piss kink in action, so the random porn site you scrolled through having that video on their homepage was like dangling a carrot in front of a hungry mule. 

You thought it would gross you out and you would end up clicking off of the video. You thought it would just be another case of you giving into morbid curiosity, only to be disgusted.

It wasn't, though. It was strange at first. You felt like a weirdo for watching it. Piss. Gross, right? Wasn't natural. It was supposed to be nasty and taboo. Getting peed on was supposed to be something humiliating and icky, drinking it was supposed to be worse, but the farther you got into the video, the more you opened up to the idea.

Fuck. You needed to touch yourself so bad. You had to give in. Dad would probably still be at work, so if you just ran to get the batteries for your vibrator real quick then— then maybe you could get off and forget about it. Just wipe the shame out of your mind.

You went to grab the batteries out of the kitchen drawers and ran back upstairs as fast as you could. The slick in your panties was starting to get uncomfortable.

When you got back to your room, you unfortunately saw you dad sitting on the edge of your bed, your laptop pierced on his lap. The sounds of the video played loudly, full volume.  

The look he gave you when he finally looked up was enough to make you want to keel over and die. You let the batteries slip out of your hand and hit the floor.

"¿Qué estás viendo? Eso es asqueroso, cariño." 

"Dad, it's not what it looks like," you said, trying to take the laptop back from him. His hands were firmly holding onto it. "Please, turn it off. Don't look."

"You like this dirty stuff now, huh? I didn't raise you to be a nasty girl, mija." Miguel's voice was stern, but something was laced under his tone, something that screamed horniness.

He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look down at your computer screen. He tried to stop himself from biting his lip. He was getting way too excited by the embarrassment on your face.

"Don't get shy now. You had no problem watching it alone, now you wanna act like you're ashamed?"

You tried to shake your head out of his hand's grasp. You kept your eyes averted from the screen, knowing your tears would spill over if you had to face your shame head on.

"Bien, puedes hacerte el tímido." He let go of your chin, instead pushing you down to your knees. "You aren't fooling me. You are not embarrassed, you want to act innocent since you got caught. Am I right?" 

He shut the lid of your laptop. The silence of the room put a lot of pressure on your shoulders.

"No, no, I'm sorry. I just wanted to see!" You leaned your head on his lap, letting your tears prick onto his slacks. "Promise, daddy. Swear, 'm just curious." 

Miguel let out a sigh, unbuckling his belt. "Yeah? Okay, why don't you try the real thing then? See if you like it any."

He let his cock spring free from his boxers. The little dribbles of pre from his tip made you feel a little better, or rather, it replaced the shame with the familiar tingle you felt before you were interrupted by him earlier. 

You got to work immediately, wrapping your swollen lips around him. Sinking down on his length, you let him hit the back of your throat with little resistance. 

He pulled out just before you started to gag. Smearing the head of his cock on your cheek, he let out a groan.

"So pretty for such a nasty girl. Not fair that bad girls look so good," he joked, eyes crinkling while he watched you try to edge his dick back into your mouth. 

He gave in briefly, tapping it on your desperate tongue a few times. You tried to lick a stripe over it, but he kept moving it back before you could.  

"Why are you moving? Why won't you let me touch you?" 

Your dad felt the slightest bit of amusement at your whining. No matter how mean he liked to act, or how much he liked to embarrass you, he liked giving you what you wanted more.

"Hey, stop that. Hold still for me, okay? Gonna try what that flick you were watching did."

You mewled softly, face heating up again at him bringing up the porno. 

His lazily stroked himself for a moment, pushing himself off of the bed to stand. His hand pulled your head back to look up at him, fingers latching into your hair. 

"Close your eyes, cariño."

A grunt left his mouth and a hot stream followed. It felt weird for a second, but once his piss hit your face you tried to catch it in your mouth. 

He soaked your face, watching closely while you kept your mouth wide open, aimlessly angling it to get whatever you could into it. 

When he finished, he shook the last few beads off of his tip and used his thumb to wipe your eyes off for you.

"C'mon, look at me now."

You did, his warm piss still in your mouth. You didn't know whether or not to swallow it, so you kept still, letting the taste simmer in your mouth. 

"You look like you're enjoying yourself, mija." He saw you nod your head. "You wanna swallow it? Let me see you drink it down." He leaned down to your face level, wiping stray drops from your cheek.

You let the saltiness of it but the back of your throat, leaning your head back to gargle it before swallowing it all. 

"Oh, aren't you dirty?" His hand held your face, letting you muzzle into it, piss soaked and all. "The slut in the video didn't do all that." 

You cracked a sheepish smile, fluttering your wet lashes open to look at your dad again. "Maybe we should watch another one then?"

Taglist: @twinkfinder62

(ask to join my taglist :3)

[maochira]

Dein größter Fehler. (ex boyfriend!Michael Kaiser) [Part 1]

Your biggest mistake.

Synopsis: Surprisingly, it wasn't Kaiser who was your biggest mistake. You were his. At least that's what he says.

"Es war schön mit uns zwei'n, und das weiß ich safe [...] Es war schön mit uns zwei'n das ist alles was zählt - doch ich war dein größter Fehler." / "It was nice with the two of us, I know that for sure [...] It was nice with the two of us, that's all that counts - but I was your biggest mistake." - Dein größter Fehler [zero/zero]

Tags: gn!reader, ex boyfriend!Michael Kaiser, toxic relationship

It's been over half a year since you and Kaiser broke up. You broke up. But every time Kaiser talks about you, he pretends to be the one who broke up and presents you as the 'awful ex he should have never dated' and that you were 'his biggest mistake.'

But he's not wrong. You absolutely were.

Oh, what a mistake it was for Kaiser to date you. What a mistake it was to fall for you in the first place. You, someone who wouldn't let him step on you all the time and forced him to see you as an equal rather than someone below him - because that's how it's supposed to be in a relationship.

Did that ever get into Kaiser's head? No.

He was never obvious with it, but rather passive-aggressive. It was barely noticeable during the honeymoon phase, but as soon as that was over, you soon noticed how your (at that time) boyfriend didn't truly see you as an equal. And that's something you didn't want in this relationship. You never let him talk you down and you never accepted ot if he even hinted at seeing you below himself.

But Kaiser always hated it. It hurt his pride and ego.

Kaiser always acts as if your entire relationship was awful. He loves to pretend you were constantly starting fights with him but made him stay in the relationship. But is that how it really went? No, not at all.

In fact, the first months went surprisingly well, considering Kaiser didn't quite see you as an equal to himself at any point in the relationship. It was about half a year into the relationship when things started getting a little rough, but even with issues between you and Kaiser, you were a happy couple. And one year into the relationship, more and more fights happened until the negatives outweighed the positives. After that it was only a matter of time until the breakup.

And throughout all of that, you were way too good for him. You treated him so much better than he deserved - because you loved him. Even through all of Kaiser's irrational thoughts and the way he talked you down, not once did you freak out on him like you should have. You were the one trying to fix things and to make everything right over and over.

Until you realized there's just nothing to fix because Kaiser would never change his mind and never see you on the same level as himself.

And that was when you realized the end could be the only answer.

You ended the relationship and moved on surprisingly quickly. Even though you still loved him for a few weeks after you broke up, knowing how Kaiser only ever saw you below him made processing the breakup so much easier. You just didn't miss him at all.

But Kaiser? It still doesn't seem line he moved on. He's still talking about you and even spreading lies about things that have never happened.

You could care less about the way your ex-boyfriend talks about you, if he didn't use it to turn your friends and other people against you. After all these months, he's still doing it. Maybe because deep inside, he knows he's wrong and you were way too good for him anyways, but he feels the need to convince people otherwise.

Nie genug für dich. [Part 2]

Tagslist (sign-up link): @starhrtz @kaineedstherapy12 @zyuuuu @yerinsshi @luvcalico @remy-roll @thedaisy78 @truegoist @rienniey @kalinkavx @vanitasbrainrot @rrueyuo @weichspuelertrinker @acacIa

[merp-blerp]

Kaylor, Arial, and Belle: A Strange Deep Dive... Thing 🌼🐚🥀🌈

So Mr. Christian Siriano had mildly rocked my world by posting the infamous rainbow dress again, plus a new rainbow dress. However, him posting the rainbow dress with yellow/gold dresses, plus the purple top on the most recent rainbow dress, has me and others pondering, so here's my two cents. Come clown with me if you'd like.

This post inspired this.

Naturally, Siriano posted this dress for a mystery person to wear for NYC Pride 2019, that mystery person theorized to be Taylor originally before the master heist potentially ruined that and Billy Porter wore it instead:

Fast forward to 2024, where Siriano posts this infamous dress once again, first on being on 6/3/24, the second time with a new rainbow dress on 6/28/24, once again imploring others to guess who the dress is for:

It's worth noting that there are other rainbow dresses by Siriano (and at least one more time he posted the original rainbow dress pro-2019, but that wasn't significant here), but they don't seem to have as strong of a connection to Taylor outside of being yet more rainbow dresses:

On 6/30, Siriano posted this photo with a male model (Kyle?) wearing (half, technically) of the 6/28 dress. In the same post, he writes "Oh and everyone don't worry it was not for Taylor but we love her!!" It recognizes that every gaylor associates his rainbow dresses with Taylor and the story of "Diva who we made this for can't come to pride anymore", which lines up with the NYC Pride coming out theory. This is not the first or biggest time he's acknowledged the theory, but it is always very affirming for Siriano to be so open on it:

I personally wasn't expecting Taylor to actually wear the 6/28 dress at any point (I mean, I clowned just in case so it could potentially be manifested, but I wasn't getting my hopes up). Still, the allusions of her associations with Siriano's dresses are present in the new dress posts and interesting to think about, especially when Siriano himself plays into them when he really doesn't have to.

So I just wanted to piece together this idea of Taylor + Karlie = Arial + Belle symbolism from my perspective as a fairytale and Disney nerd.

Theorizing time!

Part 1: Belle = Karlie Kloss 🥀

With this makeshift theory, I'd like to start with the most interesting side first, which might not seem as obvious. I think Karlie might represent Belle in Taylor's music and that's at least a part of why the rainbow dress(es) is pictured with yellow/gold dresses, as that's often Belle's main color outside of blue. As to why:

Belle's dress being gold (in the film itself) or yellow (in merchandising) could easily parallel Taylor's lyrics about associating her lover with gold and the sun, like "Gold Rush", "Daylight", etc. It also fits Tay saying Kar was the sunshine emoji in their Vogue Best Friend video.

Belle as a character was allegedly inspired by Katharine Hepburn's portrayal of Jo March in Little Women (1933). Katharine Hepburn was a queer woman and Jo herself has been interpreted as a queer character.

Belle could arguably be a "static character", as in one who doesn't change throughout the story. That doesn't make Belle badly written, it's just the type I personally think she, at least somewhat fits into. Karlie, for as long as she's been reflected in Tay's music, from what I can tell, has not really changed in her role. She's always been Taylor's beloved muse.

While I sadly can't find a source— if you can, please share—I've heard before that Belle's blue village dress was inspired by Dorothy's dress in The Wizard of Oz (1939). This nicely complements the theory that Karlie is Dorothea in Taylor's song by the same name and that Dorothea is a reference to Dorothy Gale, who herself is a queer-coded character and is associated with the queer slang phrase "Friend of Dorothy". Both Belle and Dorothy yearn for a life that's beyond the one they're living because their peers don't seem to understand them. Many of Taylor's songs have this yearning in them, like "Down Bad" and "I Hate It Here". They aren't the ones in their stories learning the lesson; Dorothy helps her friends learn that they had their gifts all along and Belle's presence in Beast's life inspires him to be better. They're also very accepting of those who are different from society's expectations, Belle with the Beast and Dorothy with her various friends.

Lyricist Howard Ashman wrote the songs for both Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid with Alan Menken. He was also gay and unfortunately died of AIDS in 1991, Beauty and the Beast being the last project he worked on (he technically worked on Aladdin in 1988 before it was released in 1992, but a lot of his songs were cut from the film because the story changed over time, so I believe Beauty and the Beast is typically considered his swan song).

Beauty and the Beast did NOT come out the same year Karlie was born, 1992, but almost did, on November 22, 1991. In the "...Ready For It?" MV, 89 and 91 are on the wall in red and yellow, kind of like Arial and Belle, though the 91 is likely just a beard red herring in the song about bearding. This isn't really a point, I just thought I'd mention it.

Belle is a similar enough name to Betty. Belle means beauty (in Spanish) and the old slang term "Betty" refers to an attractive woman and someone who "...has a smile that can light up a room, and a laugh that could change anyone’s mood..." according to Urban Dictionary. Both names in Hebrew mean God's oath/oath of God.

In the Gaylor world, yellow is often seen as representing closeting/escaping closeting, since the closet room in the Lover house is yellow and Taylor wears a yellow dress after ghosting the prince in the "Bejewled" music video (there could be other reasons too). In the 6/3 photo of the rainbow dress, the mannequin the dress is displayed on and the yellow dresses behind it have a yellow sheer wrap around their heads. For the rainbow dress at least, Billy Porter didn't wear a yellow wrap around his head when wearing the dress, as it's not a part of the outfit, so why is it on the mannequin? My best non-gaylor guess is to help pair it with the yellow dresses better, but why is the dress with these yellow dresses at all rather than with the other rainbow dresses Siriano created or something more similar in concept? It might not be for any Taylor-related reason, but who's to say? It seems as if it's a random choice (and I like how in the og rainbow dress post Siriano's profile picture just happened to be of a yellow dress. Fun happenstance).

Yellow daisies are associated with Kaylor due to their presence in the Big Sur trip and Taylor referencing them in "Don't Blame Me". Daisies are also associated with queerness, being a slang term for gay. Wow, Ms. "Now I'm your daisy", that was bold to say now that I think about it.

Roses play a big role in the general story of Beauty and the Beast, including Disney's. Some of the strongest Kaylor songs mention roses, like "Maroon", "The Lakes", somewhat "The Albatross", etc. The rose is often out of place, like in "The Lakes" where it's growing out of snow, as if it was magical that it happened or seen as not something that should happen, yet it did. Carnations are mistaken as roses in "Maroon", to me representing how Kar and Tay's love isn't always like the norm, so not always a rose, the most common love flower, but carnations still mean love (and have a queer history attached to them). It's "A rose by any other name" and "is a scandal" like in "The Albatross".

Certain songs have been theorized to be from Karlie's perspective towards Taylor, like "TTPD", "Renegade", "Cardigan", and even "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)". All the songs mentioned depict the narrator as trying to help their lover gain strength, knowledge, or simply better habits. In "Cardigan", Betty is steps ahead of James, knowing his moves before he does them because that's how much she loves and knows him, regardless of his actions. Similar to Belle's brainy personality and Karlie's seemingly matching one. Belle never actively tries to "fix" her beast on her own accord in the Disney film despite popular interpretation. She notices that Beast is making an effort to change his ways and supports him through it, as seen in the film's song "Something There". Belle never stomached his bad behavior, running away when Beast pushes it too far and only coming back when he earns it. She never "sees the good in him" before he actually exhibits good. This is similar to Betty (and the narrators of the other songs I mentioned), who lets James come to her when he's ready, rather than stay with him after he did something wrong and is clearly dealing with some baggage in an unhealthy way. I'd say "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" was the only exception, but the song ending with "Whoa, maybe I can't" acknowledges that the idea of "fixing" anyone is often a lie; the narrator knows this and stops (sarcastically/in a tongue-in-cheek way IMO) sassing that they can. But the narrator describing her lover with lines like "The dopamine races through his brain" and "Softly traces hearts on my face" communicates to me that the lover, Taylor, wants to improve on her own accord. Taylor and Karlie are always working together to get to a better place, like Belle and Beast, not one trying to fix the other.

Part 2: Arial = Taylor Swift 🐚

This one should take less explaining I guess. I have less to say about this one.

Disney's The Little Mermaid was released in 1989, the same year Taylor was born. Arial is 16 years old, the same age Taylor was when her first album was released.

Taylor dressed as Arial for New Year's Eve in 2019 (or 2018 if you want to be technical about it...).

Arial has a forbidden romance with a human. Taylor has written about forbidden romances plenty before. Gee, I wonder why—

Of course, the title of Taylor's song "But Daddy I Love Him" is a reference to a line Arial says in the film.

The purple top on the 6/28 rainbow dress is reminiscent of Arial's sea-shell bra.

Mermaids and Sirens are often conflated as the same creatures. Sirens, whether they were half-bird or half-fish people, were seen as evil creatures pulling sailors to their deaths, their voices and songs too alluring to resist. Reminds me vaguely of "Put narcotics into all of my songs // And that's why you're still singin' along" from "WAOLOM". Mermaids have also been seen as victims of men (sailors), promiscuous figures, lucky charms, child-appropriate creatures, and temptresses to men, like Taylor has been seen at times in the public eye.

Many of Taylor's lyrics allude to her seeing herself as or even portraying herself as a monster, beast, or otherworldly creature. "Anti-Hero", "WAOLOM", "...Ready For It", "Don't Blame Me", etc. Mermaids have been seen in many ways over the years, villainous or virtuous. Hans Christian Andersen's original version of the story was subversive at the time for not making the mermaid evil or sexualized. But she's still a half-fish creature, not a natural human, so she could still be considered a "creature/beast" whether she acts beastly or not. Therefore Taylor sees herself as the Beast to Karlie's Beauty.

Andersen's original story ends with the mermaid attempting to jump off the prince's ship after he didn't fall for her back. She expects to turn into sea foam since mermaids have no souls to become angels. This would fulfill her deal with the sea witch. However, the mermaid is saved by these fairy-like creatures called "Daughters of the Air", as they recruit her as one of them so she can do good deeds for 300 years with them and gain her soul without the aid of a man's love. It somewhat reminds me of Taylor pausing the beardings and abandoning men to hang out with her squad. "I picked the petals, he loves me not // Something different bloomed // Writing in my room..." (from "YOYOK").

And Andersen was fairly certainly queer.

As for this line in "Clara Bow": "Beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours // Demanding more..." I think it's mostly a commentary on how painful the demand for women to be beautiful is. But under this lens, it could be slight self-reflection; I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor has personally felt the pressure of trying to stay as beautiful as possible, both in looks and spirits. Inside her is both physical and spiritual beauty, but beauty can be a beast, demanding to stay against all odds despite natural aging or moments of being human and exhibiting more negative "non-beautiful" emotinal traits.

Not really a point, but here is a fun fact: there are ✨13✨ official Disney Princesses currently, starting with Snow White and currently ending at Raya (I don't know if Asha from Wish counts yet or will count). Belle was the next princess directly after Arial in terms of their film's release dates, similar to Karlie and Taylor's birthdates.

[amugoffandoms]

THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS: A Little Discussion into the Machiavellian Concept and Its Applications to MILGRAM

Hello there!! Welcome to my discussion into MILGRAM and the Machiavellian concept of the end justifying the means. Apologies in advance if stuff doesn't make sense, I feel like this was a very complicated thing to explain??

enjoy the es headers to divide some of my thoughts lol

I was thinking about something and the phrase "The end justifies the means" popped into my head, especially for Haruka.

Like, I feel like the end (getting his mom's attention) certainly justified the means (murder) in his point of view.

But, such an idea is often frowned upon, as "That snappy justification for everything “sinful and wicked” sounds good on paper at first to some realists, but in practice, it is a slippery slope to despotism and immoral horrors. See Hitler, eugenics, and other horrors like that." (Source)

However, the Machiavellian concept has more nuance to it.

"Machiavelli in all cases is implying that “the means” matter, and “the ends” don’t magically justify them, yet sometimes it is worth accepting all the ramifications of “unjustifiable means,” and the damage they do to one’s reputation, for the end goal.

In other words the ends don’t cancel out the means in every respect, but they may none-the-less justify to some extent the original less-than-virtuous actions needed to secure the ends. . . .

DO THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS? The ends can sometimes justify the means, and the ends are often more important than the means. Sometimes, one must muster up criminal virtue to ensure an end which brings the “greatest happiness,” but one must understand that we are talking about the “greatest happiness” theory here. Thus, people should consider the philosophy of consequentialism and consider the morality of the means as well as the result of the ends, and not just seek their ends by any means without consideration. Machiavelli as a political thinking, virtuous master, and republican would no doubt apply the same sort of reason to the seeking of a perfect happiness theory. Truly, one could argue, that only a tyrant would consider ends to justify means – period…" (Source)*

*The source is from the same link as above.

Now, I'm not calling Haruka a tyrant (he's literally 17 and was neglected as a child, of course he'd do what he could.)

However, Haruka believes in the original idea, that his mother's attention justified killing someone. But, here it states that to some extent, these actions can be justified.

So, Haruka can't entirely justify his actions because of just the end. He begs for his INNOCENT verdict despite what he can and says he will do. There are obvious consequences to these actions and it's not fair to take just the ends into account.

In fact, as I write this, it makes me believe that MILGRAM, underneath all of this, is asking you:

"Does the end justify the means?"

You see this throughout the entire project, either subtly or directly:

Haruka - As aforementioned, does getting his mother's attention justify killing someone?

Yuno - (I'm using the pregnancy entrapment theory here as it's very plausible, but you could use many different theories.) Does getting someone's attention/love justify trapping them in a pregnancy?

Fuuta - (help this one's complicated ^^;;;) Does someone dying justify your mindset of destroying all "evildoers"?

Muu - (See, this one is complicated as well as her murder and why is heavily debated, so I'll go with Muu trying to kill Rei because she wasn't forgiven and also because she wanted the suffering to end. Please let me know if there is a much more nuanced idea.) Does the ending suffering justify killing someone?

Shidou - Does saving a singular person justify all the other people they've killed to save them?

Mahiru - (See, once again, complicated, since we have no idea what her murder is, but I'll try a guess. Once again, please let me know if there is a much more nuanced idea!) Does someone dying justify overwhelming love?

Kazui - Does someone dying justify lying, but telling the truth in the end?

Amane - Does someone dying justify your faith?

Mikoto - Does protecting someone (or in this case, an alter) justify killing someone?

Kotoko - Does serving justice justify possibly killing someone?

One thing I forget to mention in the original posting (and I'd like to thank @inferablossom for this point! Please take a look at their reblog here!) is the application with Es and MILGRAM itself.

In their words, they say, ". . .the treatment of the guilty prisoners. . . that's an important thing to look at. All the prisoners who were voted Guilty had their thoughts rejected in the fork of hearing lots of voices condemning and judging them, something that's been not unfairly called out as psychological torture. We are being asked to judge these prisoners as forgivable or unforgivable. Some of them, people won't find forgivable, and many have stated an intention to forgive them later, but not now, with an intention to make them 'better' in some way. But can we justify essentially subjecting people to psychological torture to achieve this aim? And on the other side, for Kotoko, many people likely voted her forgivable based on her crime, but she also deemed it as accepting her deal and therefore sanctioning her violence against other prisoners. Can we justify actions that could lead to her harming many people?"

As I stated in my reply, I honestly wasn't looking into MILGRAM because I was so focused on the prisoners, but it's a great point!

I'm basically restating my reply here, but:

Can we justify putting prisoners through "psychological torture" to ensure "betterment"? Can you forgive someone terrible to save someone else?

For example, Haruka and Muu. After Haruka made that threat in his 2nd VD, people must have seriously been considering voting for Muu's innocence to stop him from committing suicide. However, we all automatically went to a guilty verdict.

Voting for Kotoko's innocence caused her to beat up the other prisoners. So, are you able to justify these actions that can lead to more?

As an audience, we must see if the ends justify our means, see if violence can justify forgiveness, and if "betterment" (or in what Alice said in their tags, harm mitigation) can justify psychological torture.

This is very reminiscent of Fuuta's 2nd MV, where he yells at Es for being just like him. Es, and I suppose us as well, justify their actions by saying this is MILGRAM and they must find the truth.

(Can finding the truth behind someone justify psychological and physical suffering?)

It also reminds me of Amane's voting! Everyone wanted her to realize her murder, but it caused her to become more "stuck" with her beliefs. Can betterment justify a guilty verdict, causing psychological torture, to realize one's murder?

If we were to judge ourselves, would it be fair to say we'd give ourselves a GUILTY verdict?

Quick Side Topic: In voting in MILGRAM, I like to take into a few factors: personality (it is not affected as much, but depending on the situation, it does help), actions, and the crime itself.

I'm not saying anyone who voted certain prisoners the opposite way is wrong to vote that way, but I like to think of these factors to fairly judge, as if I was part of a jury in a trial.

For example, since her voting period ended last month, Muu. I voted her guilty because of her disregard for Haruka's threat and guilty prisoners' wellbeing, saying they deserved it, no? (In my eyes, no one deserves such a fate unless they have done something EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY wrong. I'm not justifying murder, but I'm saying the actions done to them were wrong.) Her personality didn't really swing my vote any way. Her murder, however, did. In my eyes, it seemed like she was trying to get retribution for her bullying (I have this whole theory that one of Rei's friends were being bullied, killed herself, and Rei called her out on this.)

Back on track...

Once again, there is so much more nuance to each of these characters than DOES THE END JUSTIFY THE MEANS? Haruka is certainly more than wanting his mother's attention; Yuno more than trying to get pregnant from someone; Fuuta more than his mindset; Muu more than her suffering; Shidou more than his dead patients; Mahiru more than her boyfriend; Kazui more than his lies; Amane more than her faith; Mikoto more than his DID (Can't recall if this is the right term.); and Kotoko more than serving justice.

But, that's what some of their ideals and murder itself boils down to, can you justify murder? Can you look at why they did it (motive/goal), what happened (murder/means), and your own morality and decide if you can forgive someone?

Can you look into yourself and truly find that there is a justification for murder?

In the words of Es in former English subs for UNDERCOVER, "You get to know them and tie them with their EGO? Can you really judge them? Is it really okay to be done with deciding with just your EGO? Will you be able to forgive them after listening to their sins?"

Can you look past the less-than-virtuous means to justify the end?

In the words of the new English subs, "Shouldn't you look beyond your EGO, before it all ends?"

Can the ends justify murder?

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading my little discussion into this topic. Once again, I apologize for any confusing parts in this. I myself am still trying to grasp the concept, but my thoughts are now in writing.

I'm not well versed into some of these characters, so I am willing to edit this to fix any mistakes I've made in their little analysis of them! Thank you for your help if you do!

I think the first thought of this concept and how it was comparable to Haruka and it started snowballing.

When I realized I had my thoughts down in a whole essay/discussion, I realized it would probably be best to divide this up into easier to read chunks??

MILGRAM is an amazing music video project and considering the release of I Love You is soon, I'm excited to see what is in store. If I recall correctly, they said this was an intense trial, so oh dear! ^^;;

Here's to more amazing songs to analyze!

[a-tear-in-space]

hHhhhh it's "Jasper makes Milgram theories while horribly sleep-deprived" time

Alright. So. If you remember, Es makes a comment at some point (I don't remember where, probably in a VD) about how Haruka should have been 006 or 007. This means that the prisoners' order is significant in some way.

So, thus was born this theory that I kind of just thought of off the top of my head - what if the prisoners' number reflects how much control they had over the things that led them to commit the crimes they did?

Rambling starts under the cut

So, what are the prisoner's crimes? (A reflection)

Haruka - Strangling a girl to death

Yuno - Multiple Abortions

Fuuta - Starting a hate campaign against a girl that led to her committing suicide

Muu - Stabbing someone to death after mentally breaking from being bullied horribly

Shidou - Harvesting the organs of patients in order to try and save his wife

Mahiru - Causing her boyfriend to commit suicide due to her overbearing way of "loving"

Kazui - Causing his wife to commit suicide due to him keeping a secret (likely that he is a godamn homosexual) for the entirety of their marriage, which did lead to the downfall of the life they had.

Amane - Beating someone (likely her mother- "My mother should have kept her faith until the very end") to death, likely due to her victim leaving the cult or at least trying to (hence the quote.)

Mikoto (John) - Beating multiple people to death in order to protect Mikoto

Kotoko - Hunting down and killing people who were preying on the unsuspecting ("I can't stand the evil hurting the weak") in her pursuit of justice

With that out of the way... it's analysis time boys.

Haruka was clearly extremely mentally ill and was jealous of the girl we saw in weakness, which was reinforced by his mother not loving him due to his learning disability and seemingly preferring that girl over him. If Haruka had been given proper love and support throughout his childhood, I think it's fairly obvious that he would not have done the things he did. He may have had a tiny bit of control over things, but again, if he had been cared for and his mental disability had been acknowledged rather than one of the things that led to someone he held in high esteem (his mother) hating him, he would not have done what he did.

Yuno's "crime" is obviously abortions, she pretty much confirms it. And if you all have the slightest bit of knowledge on how babies are made, you'll know that the woman's egg is not the baby, the man's sperm cell is - therefore, her "crime" wasn't something that was in her control, as she obviously never chose to get pregnant or really wanted to. She chose to get the abortions, sure, but the actions that caused her to get them was of no fault of her own.

Fuuta's crime was pretty indirect itself, and he clearly didn't mean for it to happen. He only started the ball rolling that led to his victim committing suicide. So while he did have some level of control over it (Literally doxxing the victim and starting everything) he had no real say in how things spiralled.

Muu's crime wasn't really intended either, let's be honest - she was clearly on the verge of snapping as it was, and the one person that didn't immediately turn to bullying her after her whole thing was exposed turning away from her pushed her over the metaphorical edge. Though let's be honest here - she did kind of have some level of control over the things that led to her committing said murder, what with her whole "Queen Bee" thing.

Shidou’s crime was clearly influenced by his grief and all the mental fuckwittery that comes along with that (seriously, grief is no joke,) and he was not in a good headspace, convinced that he might be able to save the only remaining family he had by taking the organs of others. Yes, he did have control over his actions, but again, his mental state clearly influenced the actions he took.

Mahiru didn't even know the harm she was doing in her relationship because of just how unstable she was, and so blinded by love that she didn't even realise how toxic things were until it was far too late. Yes, she did have control over how the relationship was, but again, her mental state clearly influenced how things turned out. And nobody really has any "control" over a suicide, so.

Kazui let the lies and fear take over his life to the point where he played with someone's feelings, making her believe that he genuinely loved her the way she loved him. Hell, they even got married even though Kazui was lying through his teeth the whole time. So yeah, he had a pretty decent amount of control over the things that led to his wife committing suicide. Do I really think he intended for it to happen? Of course not - again nobody really has any "control" over a suicide. But once more, he pretty much just led his wife on for years (yes, he cared for her platonically, but not in the way she believed he did) and she genuinely did love him.

Amane did things mostly of her own accord, though it's fairly obvious that the cult had influence over her actions, her eyes after she committed her crime shows this. But what I also want to point out is that it, most likely, was her own decision to kill her mother. She saw her trying to leave the cult (assuming that theory is correct, ofc) and decided to beat her to death. She had control over what she did.

Mikoto is a difficult one, judging as his murders were done by John, and John obviously did them to protect Mikoto. But John definitely did have control over the whole, yk, murdering thing. He chose who to kill, he chose to kill them, that kind of thing.

Kotoko had, let's be honest, the most amount of control over her actions. She did them because she wanted to, not because anybody influenced her to do them. She wanted to protect people, so she killed the people who were hurting them. One of the lines in HARROW is literally "I want to gouge you out with my fangs." The key word here is Want. It was something she did because she firmly believed she was right to do so. She had complete control.

I probably drifted away from my original point more than once while writing this rambling theory, but I'm sleep-deprived and on a bus. So.

[gear-project]

Annon-Guy: Continuation of Artificial Life Discussion.

How would you classify A.B.A., Ramlethal, Noel and Es than? (Ram and Es' stories especially move me and touches a lot as they develop their emotions and humanity, being more human than Ariels and Unomaru could ever be.)

Ram, Noel and Es get treated badly by antagonists as I said and that's despicable in my honest opinion, which is nice that Sin, Ragna and Touya accepted them. Even Sol had to admit he was wrong about Ramlethal, Elphelt and Jack-O' not having real emotions.

Even though A.B.A didn't face such prejudice and considers herself superior, she still is alive like anyone, learning as life goes on.

It may just be me looking on the bright side of things, me wanting to accept people regardless of race/species or just being a brave reckless fool, but that's ultimately how I roll as I like to think that way. Such a thing is even brought up with robots from Mega Man Archie compared to artificial life forms like a certain black hedgehog that Sonic respects.

That's how I'd feel if anything like a Valentine, Homunculus, Prime Field or Embryo Storage. Of they did evil, I'd stand against them, but of they're a good person, I'd be their friend.

It'd be no different from anyone of our own race. I understand if you feel different, but that's how I feel.

Following up on your previous ask (had to take a break from last time):

A.B.A. already states that she is not Human, and that is of no concern to her, mostly because Humans are little more than a trifle in her eyes.

It's not necessarily that she ENTIRELY looks down on Humans, so much that she has beliefs and confidence in herself that trancends that concern.

Fitting in with Humans isn't as important to her as making an impact on existence on her own merits would be, in other words.

Moving right along, we'll mention Ramlethal and Elphelt here… Bedman goes out of his way to state that despite how Ramlethal was raised, she is just a normal human girl. And even Slayer says that Ramlethal was a mere child blessed with unnatural gifts that the world barely has any right to judge. The same could be said of Elphelt.

Also it is not that any of them didn't face prejudice… all of them did, even if it wasn't obvious or apparent.

Humans are very quick to fear what they don't understand… A.B.A. included.

Now, to touch on characters like Es, Noel, and even The Origin… a lot of their story isn't entirely told, but the parts that are tell us that they did what they could to live as Human as they possibly could.

Noel enjoyed living among Humans, even had a family, a mother and a father… and both parents still loved Noel and trusted in her to make the right choices in life.

That's called unconditional love. And it reflects Noel's determination to save everyone around her who suffers from their situations.

All the more reason why Mu-12 felt so betrayed when she fell in to Izanami's trap in Central Fiction's events. It took Ragna himself to rescue her from that fate, and Ragna wasn't even aiming for Mu-12 as his final goal on a list of people he wanted to save!

Of all the distorted feelings they faced, only Ragna truly understood the situation more than anyone else… forgoing his own wishes, forgoing his own feelings, he sought to save everyone, even if it meant denying everyone of their dreams (at first).

Es's situation was bound by an indeterminate possibility, one that she could not foresee until Ragna fulfilled his purpose. It took Ragna and Naoto Kurogane's actions to fix Es's future to a degree as well.

Setting all that aside for a moment, understand that Boundary Contact Mediums weren't INTENDED to be Human at the outset… and yet, because they observed aspects of the Boundary, BECAME HUMAN… whether Humans wanted to admit that or not!

Embryo Storage (ES) was part of that fate… even if she had an artificial beginning… she became Human after all was said and done.

The same was true of Valentines, as well as a certain MERCILESS APOCALYPSE…even Ariels "became" Human!

What makes people Human isn't necessarily their biochemistry, genetics, gender, or their family heritages… it's the fact they develop a Heart, a Will, a Spirit, and a Mind of their own that is meant to be respected and acknowledged.

Perhaps it is true that the previous generation of Humans have a limited understanding of what it MEANS to be Human… but that's true of anyone who hasn't studied the Human Heart or Human Spirit.

You have to make contact with other people to even begin to understand them.

[weather-cluddy]

(Replied as a new post to avoid the character limit)

It doesn't bother me at all! This sort of question is something I've been turning over for quite a while, actually. I tried to make a post pointing out comparisons between non-paired prisoners, because I feel like people focus too much on number pairs without considering other thematic parallels, even with Milgram pointing some out (Eg: Shidou-Amane, Fuuta-Kotoko, Haruka-Muu, Yuno-Kazui). It stalled around Muu though, because it turns out that's a whole lot of entries, and also I wasn't sure that people would be interested in a post that's dozen of paragraphs long (though still much less elaborate than this post, of course).

Personally, I think Mikoto and Haruka have a lot in common and share many themes, but I hardly ever see it brought up. Some of it, I think, is the fact that Haruka's trauma gets a lot of focus while Mikoto's mostly implied, so there's a lot of people who don't look beneath the surface. So they just get slotted in the boxes of "sympathetic" and "unsympathetic", meaning fans miss the similarities even when it's them doing literally the same thing (Like trying to kill Es to protect their self-worth).

But at the end of the day, we have two people extremely afraid yet dependent on other people's opinions of them, whose every interaction is shadowed by the after-effects of their early-childhood trauma in a way that seems "cute" or harmless at first but really isn't, who committed premeditated murder because they saw it as the only way to make their lives bearable, who have artistic inclinations but can't find the self-confidence to pursue them, who are dealing with mental illnesses they have no (healthy) frame of reference for, who are okay with being used and abused (even physically!) so long as people approve of them...

Well, I don't want to drop the entire essay on the intro part. Onto the first section!

(I didn't particularly mean to organize it like that, but the two sections basically came out as Bokukoto- and Orekoto-centered, respectively. Funny how it worked out.)

Children and adults.

What are Haruka's goals? To be loved and cared for, even if it means taking on a subordinate role. To have his weakness acknowledged yet not be shamed for it, to be have his strengths bring joy to those he loves yet not have people ask more of him than he can give.

What are Mikoto's goals? To be a good, responsible, capable person and have people acknowledge him as such. To have his efforts rewarded, even if it means overexerting himself. To find conventional success and prove to those he loves (his mom, in particular) that they needn't worry for him.

In other words, Haruka wants to be a kid, Mikoto wants to be an adult. Haruka wants to be protected, Mikoto wants to be admired.

Why this difference? Well, I see two possiblities. One, Haruka has a golden past to retreat to, a time when he felt loved and safe. Mikoto might not have had that, or he might not remember it: after all, DID forms from trauma very early in childhood, as early as 5 years old and generally no later than 10. And of course dissociation itself tends to make remembering difficult, even before actual alters get involved.

So, Mikoto most likely doesn't remember any 'good old days' he could yearn for, either because he was extremely young or because they never existed. His only option, then, is to place his hopes on the future.

The second thing is that, in spite of Mikoto most likely having earlier trauma, Haruka is far more obvious in his dysfunction. Pretty much every person he meets will at least walk away with the feeling he's kind of weird, if not worse. This only manages to reinforce his feelings that he's inferior to everyone else, and that that's an inescapable part of his being.

Meanwhile, Mikoto can trudge through life well enough to believe that achieving what he wants is within his reach, even to be expected. Surely if he works both hard and smart, he can accomplish his goals without problem. He can get a good career if he just focuses on what he's good at, choosing 'efficiency' over his interests. And he can get everyone to like him, if he just remembers to always, always be nice to them, no matter how much he'd rather not. Then he'll reap the reward of succeeding at life!

That's just how things work, right? You put in the effort to treat others well, and your reward for doing so is to have other people do the same for you. That's the basis of society! And that's also how Mikoto makes himself feel safe. If his own actions determine other people's actions, then he can stop bad things from happening to him by just not doing anything that would invite punishment. Everyone knows monsters only eat the misbehaving kids!  Just follow the rules and everything will be fine.

(That's another big difference between Mikoto and Haruka: Haruka knows he can't do what's expected of him, so by the start of Milgram he's pretty much given up on the idea of ever being accepted or sucessful. Mikoto does believe he can cut it, but that brings its own kind of helplessness: he can never stop striving with all his might, because if he ever does fall short his self-esteem will crumble to pieces.)

The trouble is, sometimes even when you do follow the rules, other people just... refuse to reciprocate. Why is that? Did you do something wrong? Well, you can't exactly go up to them and ask. Now that would certainly be a faux pas! Clearly the only choice is to figure it out yourself by ruminating on it. All night long. Hey, remember when Mikoto said that he wouldn't be able to sleep if Kotoko didn't wish him a happy birthday? Sure sounds like somebody who worries a normal amount about gestures that might possibly be snubs.

But another convo I'd like to bring up is one with Fuuta, where Mikoto shows up unprovoked to tell Fuuta that being upset about being kidnapped is dumb and childish and will get him nowhere in life, and anyways he's just doing it for attention.

This seems a bit OOC, doesn't it? Mikoto basically never criticizes anybody. When Yuno basically calls him fake to his face, he just laughs and calls her a straight shooter. When Haruka said that he's been avoiding Mikoto because he's scary, he just shrugs and goes, that's fair, I'd have done the same. Hell, even knowing that Kotoko tried to beat him half to death, he still goes to congratulate her on her birthday. So what did Fuuta say that was so much worse than all of those?

The problem, really, isn't what Fuuta said or did to Mikoto, but how Fuuta behaves with everyone. Mikoto can put up with being openly disliked; see his interactions with Kotoko. But seeing somebody so brazenly ignore the rules he's based his life around, now that affects him a way that goes beyond Mikoto as a person.

If you asked Mikoto, he'd probably say that it's because he's sad to see somebody younger than him waste his potential with such stupid, meaningless stubborness. But really, it comes back to the fact that "nothing bad will happen as long as you behave" is one of pillar's of Mikoto's life. So how is he supposed to handle seeing somebody misbehave constantly, repeteadly, and still do just as well as him? What's that supposed to mean? Do things not actually work that way? Was he just being taken advantage of? That can't be. If being nice doesn't ensure that you'll get treated well, what does? He endured so much pain because it was supposed to pay off someday. Were all his efforts so far just make-believe, a kid hiding under the blankets thinking it'll do anything?

No, no, no. It's the others who are wrong. All his suffering until now was meaningful and helpful. He knows what he must do and he's not going to stray from the right path. Those who do are just bringing punishment down onto themselves. And while he's not capable of consciously acknowledging his anger, he can always try to share some "friendly advice" about what happens to those who fight against forces greater than themselves. You can't win those battles. He never won, so of course you can't win them. Stop struggling, it's for your own good.

(Amane-Mikoto parallels? In my Haruka-Mikoto parallels post? It's more likely than you think!)

Saviors and weaklings

You might be thinking that the title says it all, really. Haruka is a weakling, Orekoto is a savior, those are opposites, the end.

Well, yes, but it's not quite that simple.

Haruka in the second trial has also taken on a protector role towards Muu. This is a fairly uncontroversial reading, so let's go take a closer look at their similarities:

-Both Haruka and Orekoto put emphasis on Es not scaring/stressing their charge any further.

-In both cases, what they're looking for is acknowledgement from the one they're protecting and a sense of being useful ("Rely on me, praise me with your song, I am your savior")

-Haruka says that Muu is the reason why he can be who he is now. The same could be said for Bokukoto and Orekoto: without the latter, the former would not be able to remain his current self.

-At the same time, the 'saviors' need their charges, just as if not more than the other way around. Haruka's life has revolved around the concept of mothers since basically forever, and we literally don't know a single thing about Orekoto outside of his role. Honestly, considering he only seems to come out during stressful situations, it's possible even he doesn't know who he is outside of being Mikoto's savior.

Even the structures of Metamorphosis of the Weak and John Doe are similar. Consider:

-The interrogation starts with the prisoner being fairly unthreatening. Mikoto is rather nervous at the start, but as soon as Es starts pretending to entertain the idea that he really hasn't committed any murders, he calms down significantly. -The prisoners feel safe thanks to Es' temporary affirmation, but this is soon swept away by Es themselves. Even as the prisoners become more and more obviously distressed, Es presses on dispassionately.

-Eventually, they become totally overwhelmed by emotion and attempt to kill Es. Haruka is stopped by Milgram's rules, Orekoto isn't.

-At this point, a different prisoner makes their appearance, whether physically or just in conversation, and the rest of the drama revolves around them. In John Doe it's of course Kotoko fighting off Mikoto, after which he's literally unconscious for the rest of the VD (except for one line), and instead the remaining time is dedicated to Kotoko and her deal.

For Metamorphosis, it's when Haruka proclaims that Muu is his real mom and starts talking about their relationship. In both cases, there's a clear shift in focus from the OG character themselves to how their actions would affect Milgram overall (Kotoko offering to stop Mikoto if he attacks again, Haruka threatening suicide).

Well, we can probably agree that Haruka is a savior of a sort. But can we close the circle and bring the comparison back around? Is Orekoto also a weakling of a sort?

To answer this, we'll need to define weakness. For this, I'll actually refer not to Haruka's voice drama's, but to Muu's. Namely, this part in Queen B:

"Es: (…) One-sided violence and mistreatment… I’m sure it was difficult to handle. It’s not unreasonable to come to the conclusion that murder is the only way for a weak person to get out of that. That’s exactly why I forgave you." Muu: Yeah… If I hadn’t done that, I could have died some day."

We hear Haruka argue something similar after Es tears him down, asking "So what should I have done!? Was I supposed to give up on myself too!?" So we could say that a weak person is somebody who's trapped by their circumstances, somebody with the deck stacked so far against them that they have no choice but to take extreme measures.

I think that's pretty much how Orekoto views his own situation. Looking at his parts of MeMe, most of the what-if sentences basically come down to "I don't want to do this, but I can't not do it either". We also have lyrics like "It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong" and "Is this selfish?", showing that Orekoto is also full of self-doubt about this being the right thing, but doesn't see any other choice. After all, "Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it? Ahhh, It’s the same anywhere I go".

Like Haruka, nothing he tries seems to work and he's desperately trying to survive in any way he can. Whether this "death" is on a purely emotional level or if, like Muu, it's hinting at suicide ("Maybe it’s ok to try to keep on living"), he needs to get away. It doesn't matter anymore if it's "good", so long as it works.

Of course, I'm sure Orekoto wouldn't take well to the idea that he's weak. His breakdown in John Doe was, of course, because of Es pushing Bokukoto, but his rant was almost entirely focused on how weak and pathetic Es was. It seems that in that he resembles Fuuta (who was, after all, the first prisoner to try violence): when he's scared, he tries to intimidate the threat to feel safer.

(Of course, there's something to be said for Haruka also despising his own weakness, even if his reaction to it is to worship others for being different rather than project this hatred onto them.)

(And while we're in the topic of Fuuta, it's worth noting that he's also part of the overall protector theme spanning several characters. He even relates to Haruka and Mikoto directly, in that those two are the ones he picked as "weak" people he needed to look out for)

Muu and Haruka, even before the second trial, they were both weaklings and saviors of the weak (themselves). But this doesn't apply to Mikoto, because the roles are split between the alters. There's a clear separation between the 'good', pitiable, socially acceptable Bokukoto and the 'bad' and violent Orekoto. And you know where else we see something like this? Haruka's MVs.

This is most obvious in Weakness, where the separation is at its starkest, to the point where many people didn't think Haruka's younger self was him at all. Basically, every bad thing in the video is attributed to older Haruka. Li'l Haruka plays happily with his maybe-sister, older Haruka attacks her. Li'l Haruka pets his dog while his mom smiles by his side, until older Haruka bashes its skull in. And of course, in the end older Haruka is so consumed by hatred that he chokes his terrified younger self to death. Not the first time he attacks him(self) either; back at almost the start, older Haruka shoves him into a crayon puddle, with the camera making sure to show kid Haruka's terrified expression and Haruka's cold glare.

(I want to point out the dog scene in particular. Specifically, how the younger Haruka is horrified to find blood on his hands even though he never actually laid hands on the dog. This is quite reminiscent of the scene in MeMe where Mikoto becomes afraid of his reflection's evil expression and falls backwards, only to have the devil card fall on him and corrupt all the water into blood. But an interesting difference is how, while Mikoto not remembering is just a literal retelling of events, the same shouldn't apply to Haruka. And if the girl is the same age in AKAA and in Weakness, suggested by the fact she's dressed the same in both, then she couldn't have been playing with same-age Haruka either.)

In AKAA this divide into a good, young Haruka and a bad, older Haruka is less stark, presumably because after a forgiven verdict Haruka feels less disconnected from his past as a 'good kid'. It's not gone, however. We do see his younger self kill fish and a butterfly, but the harder-hitting murders of the dog (and possibly the girl, it's hard to tell) are left to his 17-years-old self. Not to mention the sequence when his mother opens the door, which is probably the part where Haruka is framed in the most threatening way across the entire MV. That too shows us only the current Haruka, notable because just seconds before it kept switching between the two of them.

At the same time, there's also a disconnect in Weakness between current Haruka and his murders. When we see him killing somebody he actually killed in real life (that is, the girl and the dog), it's followed shortly by him waking up in his bed, framing it all as just a dream. This is very similar to how in MeMe the second scene shows Orekoto killing somebody, with the third starting with Bokukoto gently waking up, completely unaware. There's of course also the line "I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon", which only drives it further home.

Well, I think that wraps up my points. To TL;DR it, some themes to consider are: fixated on past/fixated on future, giving up/trying too hard, dependence on others, wanting to feel useful, black and white thinking re: oneself and viewpoints warped by childhood trauma.

For a bit of extra fun, I'd like to note some shared visual motifs between MeMe, Weakness and All-Knowing and All Agony. There won't be much meaning analysis from me here, so feel free to supply your own.

Music Videos

(Some of the screenshots repeat, that's intentional)

Surrounded by eyes: Most obvious in Weakness, but the Hanged Man in Mikoto's shirt (and less obviously, the Magician) also show something similar.

Water turning into blood: This one is somewhat dificult to show in still screenshots, but it's present in both MeMe, Weakness (when one of Haruka's teardrops fall onto the water) and arguably AKAA as well.

Red skies with a moon visible: Interestingly, this one seems to be associated with younger Haruka in Weakness (most obvious at the very start, when he and older Haruka switch rapidly, with the scene outside the window also changing). There's one very obvious moon in a red sky near the end of MeMe, but there might be another one shown in the Fool card. Lots of Mikoto's cards show circles in the upper corner of the cards (but interestingly in the Hanged Man it's at the bottom, near their head, like an halo). Whether we can consider them all moons is up to speculation, but few of them match the color scheme anyways. Speaking of which, while Weakness almost always uses grey/blue moons with red skies, there are two exceptions: when Haruka is shown killing the dog (blue sky, red moon) and in a piece of official art that shows a red moon on a red sky.

Confusion between indoors and outdoors: If you notice, literally everything in Weakness happens indoors, except for the bits where Haruka is floating in water. Even the forest has floorboards, except for a single scene. The opposite also happens: we see kid Haruka out for a walk with his mom, but they're still inside the house, with the city just being images on the wall. Meanwhile, the mindscape in MeMe shows a ruin (no walls) on an endlessly extending sea and sky (natural-ish settings), but it also reflects the structure of Mikoto's house. So is it inside or outside? Looking at the shoes, both Mikoto and younger Haruka are dressed as though they're outside, but older Haruka is wearing slippers.

Reflections not matching "reality": Note how neither Mikoto nor the coffee table show up in the water in the second image, or how the paintings go from having no reflection to having each other's reflection, with those facing the wrong way. The fourth and fifth images are also an interesting example of the reflections not even matching each other, even though the timing and framing suggest we're still looking at the same scene.

[mugram]

Random thoughts on Keisuke... I don't think I can say much of new information because he's pretty open about everything but I wanted to share.

(also I want to say in advance I'm sorry if I mix up he and they pronouns when talking about both Keisuke and his friend in the text, I get easily confused with English pronouns and also my brain is fried)

It's straightforward that he killed someone for the sake of his friend, but I think his actual victim might be his friend.

"You should have known this wasn't good for them. You should have known this wasn't good for them. They're dead because of you." — x

From the MV it appears his friend was bullied by a group of people, so maybe he killed just one person, like the leader, and the others from the group killed his friend. Keisuke appears to think that his murder is justified and also says that he should have done more. Should have killed more people to make sure that no one is a threat to his friend anymore?

I would also see as a possibility that his friend committed suicide but I don't know what would be their reasons... I will explain why it could be a possibility later in the text but I base it only on Keisuke's feelings.

Also idk but I feel like Es misunderstands Keisuke's murder? Maybe I'm missing something...

Because Es implies that Keisuke killed the teacher who didn't pay attention to what was happening. But I think Keisuke killed the bully, with the way he's putting an emphasis on protecting his friend. Killing a teacher wouldn't do anything, quite the opposite, he'd kill the only means of protection — the authority.

Also both the bully and the friend are referred to with "someone" in the text, but the teacher is referred to as the teacher. And Keisuke kills "someone". (I will bring up the "someone" thing later as well)

His friend and their bullies seem to be classmates while Keisuke is in another class, and he is taking a glance at their classroom several times through the MV. I think this glass vase mentioned here is on the desk of his friend rather than on the bully's.

The flower language of pansies and violas is "thoughtfulness" and "thinking of me ." The flower language is a comparison of the way the flowers, which tend to bloom with their heads downcast, tilt their heads when thinking about something. — x

Although it is not well known, pansies also have the flower language of " Don't leave me alone ." This comes from the fact that pansies are multi -flowering plants that produce multiple flowers on one flower stalk. The flower language of pansies , including " Don't leave me alone, " "Thoughtfulness," "Memories," and "Think of me," all evoke the image of unrequited love for someone. — x

Also more on the "someone" thing:

Someone groans as they hop onto the brick wall, sitting next to Keisuke. "Hey." — the friend

"Hey, is your friend coming to save you?" Someone sneers. — the bully

“STOP– PLEASE!” Someone wheezes and coughs. — the victim. While chronologically it appears to be the moment of Keisuke's direct murder because after that Keisuke drops the weapon, I think it could mean both this and the murder of his friend overlapping.

The "but, please, keep yours" line is especially interesting to me... It's an implication that his friend failed to keep their promise. And Keisuke is very serious about promises. He's very naive in a sense that he thinks the world is a very just place and any contract, promise, rule is going to work.

While I'm here... I don't know how it will go for all the duos but 01-02, 03-04 duos appear to be similar in 01-03 and 02-04 pairing as well. All of them focus on law/rules/contracts. I think that 01-02 theme is law and 03-04 theme is trust which overlap a lot.

01-03 follow the rules, believing that the world is just, and fail to protect someone. 02-04 avoid following the rules, 02 for obvious reasons and 04 is a detective which isn't particularly a lawful work, it's somewhat about finding loopholes in law. 01-03 are kind of naive, trusting themselves to the rules and not preparing themselves for the possibility that the rules can fail them; 02-04 try to appear cynical or skeptical, they're dealing with breaking the law so they might be used to searching for additional means of security and always being on guard.

There's also that the first duo seems to secure themselves with their own power, while the second duo seems to secure themselves with connections, a network of people. Okay not talking too much about duos as this is an ask about Keisuke but I wanted to point it out.

Back to the promise thing. Because his friend failed to keep their promise, I wonder what Keisuke really feels about them now. Like— If they're dead it's hard to call it "betrayal" but... The feeling that the dead person "betrayed" or "abandoned" you is indeed one of the ways of coping with their death that happens in real life so it might be a possibility. Especially when it's a suicide case, anger like "why did you leave" and "why didn't you tell me" etc is very often a first reaction. "Think of me" and "don't leave me alone" pansies... So, this makes me think that his friend might have committed suicide as another option.

But I guess it's fine if you need to leave

Hm???? Now that I think about it maybe his friend was considering suicide in general, with the bullying being one of the factors that made them suicidal. So Keisuke killed their bullies in exchange for a promise that they will stay alive, but they didn't. Keisuke says that he could have done more — like getting rid of the bullies wasn't enough to make them stay.

I think that the lyrics are directed at several people, including his teacher and his friend. At first they appear to be directed only at the teacher, and Keisuke's feeling of betrayal is understandable here: the teacher is ignoring the problem. (However I wonder what kind of promise Keisuke is making to the teacher? Or maybe it's a promise he made to his friend (to stop the bullying), so like, "because you're failing me I'm failing another person"?)

I promised

So, why won't you listen?

Conversation with his friend happens during these lyrics:

Did it not mean anything

To you?

But, I guess it doesn't really matter.

This makes me think that he feels betrayed by his friend as well.

"I promise I'll tell you about it tomorrow." They sigh and lean forward. "What's been going on with you?"

But, I guess it doesn't really matter.

Also in the words that the bullies are saying to his friend, this particular phrase is highlighted... It's formatted the same as the lyrics/Keisuke's thoughts.

"What a disappointment."

More lyrics that appear during Keisuke's conversation with his friend:

I'll trust you just for a little longer

You made me a promise, so I hope it meant something

Also what I find interesting is that at first Keisuke says he's not asking for anything in exchange for his promise.

There's no fee

Just a promise it will happen.

There was never a fee.

However, at the end he asks the other party to keep their promise.

But, please.

Keep yours.

Like, hm... he expected that him being loyal and kind and going for such drastic measures would be enough for the other party to do whatever he wanted them to do for him (I think he wanted them to stay with him, speaking generally, I will mention it a bit later), but they didn't. If the other party is a friend, and a best friend, as Keisuke keeps on repeating in his interrogations, I'm pretty sure he feels that this friendship was broken/betrayed...

There's also that Keisuke's friend appears pretty distrustful of him. They avoid answering questions and give empty promises; Keisuke feels hurt in the lyrics, he's aware of this distrust. I think it's because they don't want to be a burden, but hm... It's like this friendship is not as close as Keisuke believes it to be.

They seem to know each other for a pretty long time, saying that they're graduating soon but they wanted to visit a museum possibly long before graduating. Maybe they used to be closer friends and are now growing distant and this especially hurts Keisuke, he's holding onto them being "best friends" trying to cope that there's no trust in this friendship anymore.

There's also a motif of the upcoming end of sorts...

I know we're going to graduate next year

But I guess it's fine if you need to leave

Like their friendship is going to end soon. But if they were best friends and knew each other for a long time, this friendship wouldn't be easily broken by graduation, right? This is why I think first and foremost Keisuke wanted the friend just to *stay*, he's fearing that the end is near. The question is why the end is near... Could be just because they're growing distant for whatever reasons but idk, can't help seeing more points to the suicide theory perhaps...

For any Wardens interested in theorizing, please take a look at this theory and analysis into Keisuke Izumi!

[scarletlion94]

Hidden Beast - Chapter-by-Chapter Summary (UNDEAD Song Event)

I'm starting to take notes on stories as I read them since I always tend to forget things right after reading lol

So here are my notes and thoughts and things I may have found funny as I read through Hidden Beast in Engstars!

Prologue

UNDEAD is filming a suspense-romance TV drama called "Love and Beast."

Before that, Koga was pissed off because of an offer for a variety show. He thinks doing too many of those will take away from UNDEAD's "cool" image. He mentions he would rather do drama acting if he had to choose something that wasn't live concerts.

Adonis mentions turning down a drama proposal from Scarlet (AKA Anzu/Producer but I'm using my OC name), and Koga flips out.

Rei, Adonis, and Kaoru whisper to each other that they already rejected the variety show proposal and didn't tell Koga and agree to contact Scarlet about the drama proposal.

Love and Beast Notes:

Koga is an Artist. His friend was killed as well as a second person. All of the murders happen at night. They had claw marks on their necks so they call the murderer "The Beast."

The Bloodthirsty Beast

Chapter 1:

UNDEAD is deliberating why the script doesn't have an ending. Rei says it may be so that it doesn't interfere with the acting. For example, if Koga is the Beast his intense acting could make it obvious.

Koga thinks there is no end because of the writers being behind schedule.

They then decide to try and practice together. Koga tries to tell them it's fine to practice alone. Kaoru teases him saying he's just nervous to say the lovey-dovey lines in front of them.

Kaoru then blushes when Rei says Scarlet can read the female protagonist lines during the practice.

Adonis asks if they need to turn the AC up since he thinks Koga and Kaoru blushing are them being too warm from the heat LOL

Love and Beast Notes:

Adonis is a Diplomat, Kaoru is a Club Host, and Rei is a Genius Surgeon

Chapter 2:

UNDEAD is practicing the script, Koga is still having trouble with the romantic "I don't want you to get hurt" line.

Kaoru and Adonis do demonstrations but when Koga tries again he still stutters and gets mad that he can't do it.

Chapter 3:

First day of filming - while Adonis is shooting a part, the other three members talk about who they think the murderer is.

Later, they notice Adonis struggling with the acting. Rei proposes they practice more using Scarlet to help out and suggests Operation Kabe-don.

Chapter 4:

The member's try to practice with Scarlet. Rei does a kabe-don example to Scarlet and Kaoru jokes that it reminded him of the old Rei (Ore Rei). Koga was like nah the old Sakuma was way cooler lol

Adonis is still frustrated that he loses sight of his strengths while acting because he subconsciously knows that it's just a show and not real.

Chapter 5:

During filming, despite the help from Kaoru, Rei, and Koga, Adonis is still struggling. He gets pulled aside by the Director and Koga stays behind to see what he can do to help Adonis, despite Rei and Kaoru's concerns that Adonis may be alone to be discussing film related content such as the Beast.

Koga then sees the Director begin to bow and apologize to Adonis and runs up to ask what's going on when Adonis mentions quitting but says that he can't share the details with Koga.

Chapter 6:

Koga explains to Rei and Kaoru what happened with Adonis and he is clearly frustrated.

Rei says that unfortunately they can't do anything but watch over Adonis because he won't tell them what is troubling him.

As the three of them head to Cinnamon, they see Adonis heading back to ES. Rei suggest maybe he just forgot something, but Koga is mad that the seniors aren't taking this serious and runs after Adonis.

Rei and Kaoru discuss with each other how clear it is that Koga really cares about Adonis with how worried he is awww :3

Chapter 7:

Koga spies on Adonis at ES and sees him meet up with Scarlet. They move to an emergency stairwell and the words and actions make it appear that they are dating.

Koga makes this assumption that they are dating and maybe Adonis is just uncomfortable working with a different actress in the filming that might get in the way of his relationship lol

Koga is spotted and Adonis finally explains to him the situation since Koga has already seen this much. The Director had his budget stolen for another project, and had to borrow a loan with an insanely high interest rate from a shady company. Basically if this drama doesn't do well, his career is over.

Adonis explains that he's having Scarlet help him practice romance scenes because he doesn't want his poor acting to bring everyone down.

The Dark Claw Marks

Chapter 1:

The group gathers at Cinnamon to discuss what Adonis told Koga. Adonis also reveals that his character is the Beast so he has been trying to grasp the deep feelings of the character.

Rei is concerned about the Director's financial situation jeopardizing the entire project so he tasks Kaoru and Koga with continuing to help Adonis practice while he goes to figure out the details of the debt and handle the money situation.

Chapter 2:

Kaoru asks Adonis why the Beast does what he does (meaning the murders). Adonis explains that the character has Dissociative Identity Disorder. He loses himself and becomes the Beast at night time.

While they practice, Rei meets with Madara and gets an investigation report from him. He seems excited to be helping out Rei.

Rei finds out that the lender for the loan is not associated with criminals and actually used to be in the entertainment business. Rei has a rough plan now to put into motion... (Oh boy here he goes XD)

Chapter 3:

Adonis is still practicing but nothing is helping. Kaoru and Koga seem to be at a loss on what else to do to help. Then Rei shows up.

Rei explains that he is going to go with the Director to visit the lender and negotiate the ridiculous interest rate of the loan.

The other members hate this idea and don't want Rei to put himself in any danger like this and that they should go to the police instead.

Rei says the Director would be tied up in investigations if they went to the police which would delay the drama and all the hard work of the staff and Scarlet would go to waste.

Rei then says he wants them all to go with him to the negotiation. He says if Adonis watches a real villain he might learn something to help. Kaoru reluctantly agrees to come with and Koga is pissed and says nothing.

Rei what are you planning? Lol

Chapter 4:

At the entrance to the building that the lender is in, Rei hands the others some self-defense items that he picked up from the warehouse at the filming set. Adonis takes a baton as his choice while Koga picks a knife (not sharp, just props)

They go in to negotiate the illegal interest rate but to no avail. The lender refuses to lower it and guards come in and surround them!

Adonis doesn't like to fight, but if it comes down to protecting his friends, he will do anything.

Chapter 5:

Adonis breaks the baton weapon to try to show off his strength to the guards. Then he flips a billiard table (Omg do the writers know how much those weigh?) Koga is panicking a bit since Adonis has no weapon and the guards aren't running.

Rei then says not to worry. The guards will pull back. Why?

Yep...

Yeppp...

I should have known XD

The scene was all a set up. The guards and lender were all hired by Rei to get Adonis to feel anger.

Rei explains that he and the Director did actually go to negotiate the debt though, and got an extension on it. Since the lender used to be in the entertainment field, Rei and the Director showed him some footage from "Love and Beast" to prove that the drama would be successful.

Anyway, Adonis requests to go film right away so that he can preserve the feeling of anger, but swears to only act that way in acting and never for real.

Epilogue

Chapter 1:

This chapter is pretty much just UNDEAD acting out the final scene of the drama.

Inogari (The Diplomat/Adonis), reveals that the Beast is inside him. The good Inogari chained himself up but the Beast breaks out of the chains with ease in front of the Artist (Koga), and the Detective (the female protagonist).

Chapter 2:

The scene continues. The Surgeon (Rei), and the Club Host (Kaoru) arrive with the police. The Beast takes the Detective as a hostage but grows weak to her voice as if Inogari is battling his inner Beast.

Inogari is arrested and the other three chat with the Detective afterwards on their future plans.

Then it's time for UNDEAD to film the MV!

Chapter 3:

The members reminisce on all the experiences they had while filming. Koga brings up how he thought Adonis was dating Scarlet. Kaoru is like "What!? No one told me about this!!" Aww Kaoru :3

I liked this quote from Adonis so I copied it directly from the game:

Adonis: "FORBIDDEN RAIN: This song tells the story of a forbidden relationship, depicting the pain and sorrow of a man who carries another personality: the Beast. He is struggling with the dormant beast inside. Maybe it's like love, a back-and-forth battle between reason and emotion."

THE END

WAIT THEY NEVER EXPLAINED WHY THE SCRIPT HAD NO ENDING WTF!?

[givemeanaccountalready]

Musings on Deep Cover

So, I was fiddling with my ladies of Milgram post, and uh, I started thinking about Kotoko's diss track.

The lyrics transcribed on the Deep Cover video are:

UNDER Doltish 001 Parasite / UNDER Obscene 002 Slut / UNDER Incessant 004 Phony Queen / UNDER Doomed 005 Dissection Pawn / UNDER Concealing 007 Deceiver / UNDER Inept 011 Guard

My favorite is Ninjastic Cheetah's fan edit on YouTube which has these lines:

UNDER A worthless 01 parasite / UNDER A vulgar 02 slut / UNDER A stubborn 04 perjury / UNDER Unsalvageable 05 dissection / UNDER Lying 07 madman / UNDER Unloved 11 prison guard

Again, I love the psychic damage of "unloved" being Es's insult, but that's not the point I want to discuss before I turn in for the night.

Don't get me wrong. I love the diss track. I really do, but if I were Kotoko, I would have gone for the jugular and called out their insecurities when dropping names to emphasize how little I thought of how their justifications:

UNDER Fatal 001 leech / UNDER Lonely 002 little girl / UNDER Whiny 004 usurper / UNDER Short-sighted 005 savior / UNDER Selfish 7 manipulator / UNDER Misguided 011 pretender

Now, as fun as that was, this wasn't just a little aside. In Kotoko's diss track, she doesn't say anything that couldn't have been picked up from listening to voice dramas (if Kotoko did in fact eavesdrop on all the other prisoners' interrogations) or found within the timeline conversations. In their second trial interrogations, Yuno admits to being a sex worker and having an abortion, while Kazui laments the fact that he's lived his entire life as a liar and states that he should have kept lying for Hinako's sake. Shidou agrees with Es that his murders involved his work as a doctor and hints that pressuring families to donate the organs of their brain-dead loved ones wasn't the only murder he's done. I've kind of said it before when I said "Local man discovers empathy," but I think he pushed patients to undergo risky, new surgeries in hopes that it would treat their conditions, and it was only when his wife and two boys were in the hospital that he realized the terror those families felt when their loved ones went under the knife. Haruka admitted to killing things smaller than him to gain his mother's attention and his unhealthy dependence on approval from his "mother" figures is obvious in the second trial. Muu contradicts herself a lot when defending herself from what she perceives to be abuse and preens under the positive attention Haruka gives her. She does seem to think herself above approach like a queen would. With Es? I think it was Kazui who said it best back during the first trial: the only difference between Es and the prisoners are the roles assigned. Undermining their authority and implying they can't do their job is a surefire way to piss off Es. Why do I bring this up?

I think Kotoko may know less than we and Es do.

Mainly because it hasn’t really been explained how the song extraction device works. We know that it pulls memories from an individual’s subconscious and turns them into a musical number. We know that the in-universe explanation for the time gap between trial songs is that it needs to charge between uses. That’s stuff Jackalope told us back in the Welcome to Milgram video. From the voice dramas, we know the general procedure is that a prisoner is called to the interrogation room, Es arrives late as a power move and then interrogates the prisoner until the bell sounds and we can hear machines or something whirring and clanking in the background. Since it’s an audio, we don’t know what the interrogation room looks like before and after the bell tolls, but there seems to be an implication that the room changes and that the prisoners are belted into the chair. I’m not so sure if the chair is real but the first trial voice dramas have me an implication of the prisoners being restrained in some way.

If I had to guess, I would say that the round, bird cage like room we saw in Undercover and Deep Cover is the interrogation room. That would explain what the circular room on the map is (not the one with the numbered cells, the one opposite of that). Undercover implies that the song extraction device opens up to work, but we’re not told or shown how it pulls memories or how it depicts the music video. Es and the prisoner may very well be “asleep” while this process plays out mentally. Or it is projected somewhere within the interrogation room while the prisoner is “asleep” since none of them seem to remember what happens after the bell rings.

I have a thousand questions on how this device works. The only important one is how are the songs shown to Es, because if Kotoko knew exactly what some of the first trial Innocent prisoners had shown in their videos (namely, Haruka strangling his younger self and clearly bludgeoning something to death with a bloody rock, and Muu stabbing Rei), she most likely would have judged Es’s verdicts as faulty and attacked the prisoners based on how she views the crimes rather than relying on Es's verdict. I say this with confidence, because Kotoko has made it clear that her vigilante actives, both in Milgram and before, are a way for her to inflict punishment that others (namely the justice system) won’t dole out to the guilty. She has no problem with skirting the system to do that.

But, if the songs are only shown to Es and Es alone through some kind of mental link, then Kotoko is forced to take Es’s word on what they (and we, the audience) saw. Deep Cover made it clear that Es's refusal to condemn more prisoners is what ticked Kotoko off, since she sees mercy and compassion as weaknesses to be eliminated. Kotoko actually showed a remarkable amount of restraint when trying to sway Es back to her side. It wasn't until Es stood up to Kotoko that she lost her composure.

It also would partially explain why some say that Deep Cover is Kotoko’s musical version of a resume for the warden position. If there is stuff that Es knows that she isn’t privy to because of their warden position, then she needs to obtain either the warden status or an official deputy position to get that information to further influence how Es votes. If she is proving her worth to Es and Milgram, why wouldn’t her subconscious show her desire to be in control the way Es is?

[blitz0hno]

if you're still doing the milgram ask game..!! :>

Which MV is your favorite and why? What do you think of Mikoto's verdicts? What are your headcanons about Amane?

I am!! Forgot about it tho sorryyyy lol

Favorite MV? I said MeMe and went into why in the last ask (tarot motifs and contrasting colors my beloved), but my second favorite is "I Love You." It starts out so raw, then becomes jarringly sweet before throwing you back into Mahiru's "reality" with her boyfriend, and overall the carousel motif and the cake/rat imagery haunts me perfectly. It's such a wonderful piece of visual storytelling and an underrated one imo. I love all the MVs so much tho.

Mikoto's verdicts? Hmmmm his guilty sweep in trial one was pretty funny ngl.

It was Mikotover the moment he said this tbh (ID: close-up Mikoto, smiling and bathed in read light, holding the Fool card with a mannequin on it. The subtitles read: "I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I'm right.")

I was in the "he's definitely guilty" crowd for certain. "John Doe," as a VD, bugged me at first ngl, but it's an important part in the timeline of his story, and the questions it raised mostly get answered in "Neoplasm." I was happy to see Es get a Real Conversation with John, and despite his attempts to divert guilt from Mikoto, all he demonstrated was that their collective amnesia was very much real. An inno verdict seemed like the obvious choice after that; for whatever reason, Mikoto clearly did not desire to kill someone for real despite the first MV, since even the "violent" alter can't seem to give a reason why they did what they... DID. (*smacked*) (I don't get to reuse that joke again 3 strikes and I'm out)

I was very happy and amused at his trial 2 inno sweep, though I will forever be bugged that his percent is higher than Amane's. Mikoto's crime was ambiguously self-defense imo but Amane's was VERY CLEARLY self-defense. An inno verdict is an inno verdict tho so cheers all around for trial 2.

Headcanons about Amane?

- She's nonbinary and uses she/it/they pronouns

- actually very good at speaking publically and debating, likely from various church activities requiring her to do so. Mikoto would definitely help her foster that talent if she asked.

- she's beginning to doubt the existence of a literal "god," but still values the ideals of mercy she was raised with even though she wasn't shown what she was told

- she grows into a gentle and confident person as she grows away from her cult

- she wants to be an adult so bad right now, but lets herself indulge in more "childish" things as she gets older and encourages others to do so for themselves as well

- she sees Fuuta, Mikoto and Mahiru as older sibling figures (and sasses them about it when they get overbearing)

- she's secretly very interested in Shidou's work as a doctor, and wishes it weren't against her doctrine to heal like that

A lot of these are based on Magic and Minigram but um yeah I adore her thank you for asking all of these but especially that last one!!

[scoonsalicious]

OKAY I'M HERE. Sorry, I'm late. Funnily enough, we're on opposite sides of the world so your update time is waaaayyy too early in the morning for me so I usually read it when I wake up (shocking I know, digesting this traumatic but amazing masterpiece early in the morning) but since school has started up again and I have morning classes I haven't been able to. So do expect my reports to be a lil later than usual. ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

Let's start with Steve and Pocket. I totally forgot that both of them were under the influence during that time and while they did get a little frisky (I also find it so funny how Pocket doesn't have much of a reaction. it was all Steve. It was as if she already knew she could never orgasm with this man. like homegirl was dry during that I just know it) I'm glad they didn't go far and were able to actually realize how much of a mistake it would've been because not only for obvious reasons like that's your ex's best friend but also the intoxicated thing. It wouldn't have done any good to Poxket's mental state es; especially knowing Steve's feelings. But hey, he stopped it. Literally the bare minimum for any man but the bar currently in hell (looking at you Benson) so. Good on Steveioli.

Now with the heart-to-heart, I'm so glad Pocket was able to unload all that and actually have a good cry for once. And, for Steve, as much as I still find him kinda fishy (I still do think he has a hand in ruining their relationship, that he isn't as innocent or this knight and shining savior that he's showing. I just know Steve did something and pulled some strings so i don't trust him fully yet), he made some very good points. I do agree with what he said about Bentley. We can only really imagine what he went through with Hydra. And the point too where there are some parts Bison himself doesn't remember at all but his body and psyche do. We can sympathise and everything but we never truly understand it. Do I think Josiah is the only person who understands? I don't think so either. Not to discredit her experience or whatever but I don't think what she went through was entirely the same or close because I still do think she's still a spy got them (maybe that's me not liking her lol). But the fact is, she's the closest person who could understand, in Brennon's eyes anyway. Does that excuse everything he's done? Absolutely fucking not. But does that information change how I judge him? Of course. I still truly believe that there's more to this onion (because layers ha ha) than meets the eye. He still fucking fucked up and he still has so much work to do on himself before he can even have the chance to earn Pocket's trust again. But I can give him some grace, and understand that his mind probably wasn't in the best place at that time which led to bad decisions.

I saw some people claiming that Blair never truly loved Pocket, and while I can see why that seems to be the fact because he does have a shitty way of showing it, sometimes, we can't stop ourselves from hurting the people we love (to an extent obvs. if they cheat & are abusive & toxic etc. leave their ass. but again, in the context of the fic, it's definitely more complicated than that). That's just reality. But what truly matters is what we do after the fact. Not that it makes it okay, I'm not saying that at all. It's still not an excuse to hurt people and be a shitty person. What I mean is that not everything is as black & white as it seems. In this case, there's no such thing as 100% evil and 100% good (except Judas who has a special place in hell). These are flawed, broken, and complicated characters, and you the amazing writer has shown that greatly. So we should all take that into account instead of just saying this person is 100% wrong so he deserves to die, or This person is 100% right so I'm just going to support everything they're doing no matter the consequences even if it hurts other people. So I do think he truly and utterly loves Pocket with everything that he is, but when you've got someone who's out of his time, has so many issues, isn't in the best mental and emotional state, has been through so much trauma and has self-destructive tendencies, do we really think he knows what to do with such a powerful emotion? Better yet, he does love her, but in this case, it's just not enough. Love isn't the only thing that keeps a relationship healthy after all. But I will say, that love will also be the one that will push him to do better.

Now, with Mr. Bunana and his Audacity to barge onto Pocket like that. The hypocrisy is outstanding. Gold medal worthy. But then again, he did see them leave the party after basically humping each other on the dance floor, he did see Steve leave her bedroom and he did see Pocket in Steve's shirt. When you're already insecure as hell and have fucked up one too many times, I can't blame him for jumping to conclusions. I also can see how distraught he was though, and not to be mean, but he does kinda need this for him to wake the fuck up. And again, the audacity to cause a whole scene about it too as if he has any right. But, unpopular opinion, I don't see an asshole at all. I see a broken man who's spiraling out of control and is hitting rock bottom as we speak. He's grasping at straws, he has no idea what to do with himself, and he's lost everything, and for a man who's been at war for the last 70 years, what's the one thing he knows best? Fighting. So, he fights.

The toxic masculinity was so on point. When Pocket picked up the water I was cheering this whole time lmao. Absolute wild animals these men sometimes. She honestly should just have a spray bottle in hand, spray them when they act up. Also, that line about where's Steve hand was made me CACKLE. Like yes queen. They deserve to break each other's face a lil for thinking they can decide for Pocket and what she does with her body honestly.

Lastly, because goodness me this is long. We're off on this mission, and I really do share Tony's concerns (and he's so sweet and caring about Pocket. I'm glad he's by her side. Also can't wait to see how they met!) This mission is going to take a toll on Pocket more than she's going to expect. She's using this as a distraction with what's been going on recently, and that's not good. Because I don't think she fully realises the gravity of what she's about to go into. I'm thankful that Sam is there. But I just know, something about this mission is going to go so bad for Pocket. Maybe not physically, and the mission would end up a success, but mentally and emotionally? ESPECIALLY when she's already on a fragile state right now? Sigh. I won't like it, but shit about to hit all the fans.

Anyway. You're amazing as always. I always enjoy getting to pick at the details of your writing and it makes me giddy with excitement that I actually manage to nail some points hahaha. Keep doing what you're doing and don't forget to take care of yourself!

P.S. I love Sam and Pocket's friendship. I need more of them being best buds please and thanks.

— Jnon 🤍

Beloved Jnon, Please do not apologize for being "late!" It actually worked out in my favor, as I have been staying up too long into the night to respond to you, so this actually works well, because it's mid-day here and I actually got some sleep. Not enough, but I'm working on it lol. Reading Unwanted first thing in the morning sounds like a rough way to start your day! All the angst!

Yeah, Pocket had absolutely no reaction with Steve, lol. It was seriously all the MDMA, making her crave physical touch, and when she kind of came down more to herself and realized it was Steveoli who was doing the touching? Well, let's just say it was dryer than the Sahara down there, lol. Ah, the little details that don't make it into the finished work! I can confidently say though, that if Pocket hadn't stopped it, herself, Steve most definitely would not have. Steve needed to hear Pocket break down in front of him, to see how she was affected by all of this. It was a wakeup call for him, and it allowed me to say some of the stuff I wanted to say about Bucky's state of mind without having Bucky say it himself (because who could believe him?!?) In later chapters, we'll get some first-hand insight into what kind of experience Juggalo had with Hydra, herself, and how those experiences shaped her connection with Barnstormer (intentionally vague wording here). I so fucking love how you are on the same page with me re: Bucky's mental state and motivations. Fucking love it.

And he is 100% flawed in this fic. He's trying to navigate this new world he doesn't understand, with all these sexual and social rules he doesn't understand. And I'd like to take a moment to point out that, in my timeline, Bucky has maybe spent a fraction of the time in Wakanda that he does in the MCU. Like, right now, in the story, it's about 2019-ish, meaning our Bucket left Wakanda sometime in 2017, probably less than a year after the events of Civil War, meaning that our Bucky has not done NEARLY as much mental healing as Canon!Bucky. So, when Canon!Bucky tells Cap that he's a "semi-stable 100 year old man" in Infinity War (which I just rewatched last night for Unbroken research!), our Bucket is even less so.

Right now, if there's one thing he's absolutely sure of, it's that he loves Pocket. But you're right, love is not longer enough here. Not for the two of them, not any more. Pocket's already realized that, and Bucket's just starting to.

Let's talk Bucky Barnes and the Audacity of this Bitch! When he barged into Pocket's room to accuse her of sleeping with Steve, he definitely wasn't thinking about what he'd done. He was thinking about confronting evidence of the worst thing he could imagine. It was one thing for him to conjure up the idea in his head, but it's driving him absolutely crazy to see physical evidence of it with his own eyes (even if its just circumstantial physical evidence!). I want to say, though, that even after he thought they slept together after her party, HE DID NOT go running to Jackrabbit for comfort-- I think that's progress! :D Right now, all he knows is how to fight, and how to hurt-- himself, and other people. It's all he's done for 75 years. Pocket was beyond livid over the two of them fighting about her, without really seeming to care about her-- just who got access to her body. Girl lived that life too long as a child; she was done with it long ago. I do like to imagine, though, that after she and Sam left, Bucky and Steve started fighting again, but this time they're all wet from being dowsed in water, so their shirts are sticking to them, and the fight is very homoerotic.... Finally, Tony's concerns for Pocket are very, very valid. He's kind of forcing her to regress, and he's really scared about what that might do to her mentally. Not to mention, she's putting herself in a dangerous position where women are being kidnapped and trafficked. He's got the utmost faith in her; it's just everyone else he doesn't trust. I love getting your messages, I love discussing the story with you! It makes me so happy! I promise there's one more good Sam/Pocket scene!

[ethereousdelirious]

For Ace Attorney fics, I would love to read about Miles violently puking from food poisoning and being cared for by Phoenix. Any form of emeto story about Detective Gumshoe would also be appreciated.

Can’t wait to read your stories, so pumped to see AA sickfics! :)

*CLAWS MY WAY OUT OF HELL AND EMERGES, FIC IN HAND* IM HERE I HAVE IT ARE YOU STILL HERE I HAVE IT FOR YOU

I am. SO SORRY. it took me so long to get this done skdhshhd

I couldn't think of anything for Gum/shoe this go around, but here's the Nar/umitsu! Feel free to drop another request for our favorite detective and hopefully I'll be in a more ✨️creative headspace✨️ upon receipt

CW: emeto (if that wasn't obvious lmao)

This was not how the evening was supposed to go.

When Miles had suggested a date, a proper date, he'd had his heart set on fine dining and privacy. No distractions. Just a quiet restaurant where he and Phoenix could finally, finally emerge from the smoke of their tumultuous lives and learn who they each were when the world wasn't on fire.

Of course, nothing could ever be so simple.

Miles had, at first, attempted to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. Phoenix had that unfortunate effect on him these days, particularly when he lost that hard look in his eyes and remembered to smile. It made him look younger, more vibrant.

The smiles had come more freely as the wine flowed, but tapered off as the sensation in Miles’ stomach grew stronger and stronger— not butterflies, but nausea.

Now, as he clutched the siding of Phoenix's run-down little rental, Miles could only pray that Phoenix's loyalty, which had withstood so much over the years, would hold up.

He stared down at the bark mulch as the warm evening breeze kissed his skin, cooling the sheen of sweat on his face.

“Oh, uh. Is it happening?” Phoenix asked from somewhere behind him. Or beside. Hard to tell with his hair in his face.

Miles swallowed down a wave of brackish saliva with difficulty as his stomach turned over. It wasn't that late. With the porch light on him, any passing neighbor could glance over and witness the scene.

“I mean…” Phoenix's house keys jingled. “Can you make it inside?”

Miles’ stomach gave another sickening lurch and he tried to shake his head, and pitched forward so hard his muscles burned and still, and still—

The first dry retch was so violent it made his ears ring and he nearly lost his balance from that alone. Phoenix caught him under the other shoulder just in time to witness Miles vomit properly. He almost gasped at the sensation of his stomach slamming inwards on itself, could do nothing but cling to Phoenix as wave after wave of bile and acid forced itself up his throat.

Somewhere beyond the misery, beneath the squeezing agony in his stomach and the burn in his throat, something cool brushed the nape of his neck— Phoenix's hand, steadying him.

Miles coughed up another wave of stomach acid and keened, the sad little sound forcing its way past his gritted teeth.

The weight of Phoenix's unanswered question sat at the bottom of his belly, unperturbed by the nonstop retching. The night breeze cooled Miles’ sweat-slick cheeks. Anyone could see them out here. “Ye— es,” he coughed, and forced himself to straighten. A deep breath kept him on his feet, that and Phoenix’s vice grip on his shoulders.

They shuffled over the threshold and the unfamiliar scent of Phoenix’s home washed over him— Although not wholly unfamiliar. Phoenix… Phoenix smelled like this, his suits… Under the cheap cologne he sometimes remembered to splash on, yes, Phoenix smelled like this.

The gentle scent was wasted on Miles and his aggravated stomach, but it was… It was nice and it was Phoenix and the taste of bile choked it all out as his stomach gave another feeble heave. His lips parted and his body wrenched, but nothing came up, and thank God for that.

“So I guess the oysters were off,” Phoenix mused, and Miles couldn't stifle the nauseated groan that crawled out of him. He managed to direct it a little, into a pained, “Do shut up” and promptly had to follow his own orders to keep the product of another retch from staining Phoenix’s cheap laminate flooring.

“Right,” said Phoenix, and pulled Miles forward. Miles stared at the scuffs on Phoenix's dress shoes, watched the ratty laces flick with the motion of his legs. And Phoenix muttered something that sounded disturbingly like “...just cleaned the toilet, too…” and Miles fell to his knees.

…In Phoenix’s defense (ha), the toilet was remarkably clean. Miles promptly defaced it with a mouthful of— Well, better not to think about it, actually. His forehead hit the seat; he fumbled for the lever to flush the damned thing and Phoenix made a little noise and guided his hand.

Once the roar had died down, Miles opened his eyes and watched the ripples his breath made in the water. He couldn't move. Didn't want to. What was the difference? Either way, he was stuck on his knees in Phoenix Wright's bathroom while the man himself hovered behind him, coughing awkwardly and clearing his throat like he couldn't stand the silence.

“I'm sorry,” Miles said into the toilet.

“Oh, it's no big deal,” Phoenix said. “A little bleach and it'll be good as new.”

Miles groaned. Half out of exasperation and half from the crescendo of cramps squeezing his abdomen. “The date, Wright. I'm sorry I ruined our date.”

“Oh!” Phoenix shifted slowly, bringing his heat and his weight closer and closer to Miles’ side. “You didn't ruin anything.”

“You're not… not that good at bluffing.”

“Okay, well. I'll admit, this isn't my first choice of evening activities. But I don't think you have anything to apologize for.”

This level of grace was not something Miles would have extended in the opposite direction. Not without a good deal more huffing and crossed arms, anyway. Lesson learned.

His stomach having settled somewhat, Miles shifted his weight backward until he found the wall. Cold sweat crawled on his skin— everywhere. His face, his back, his chest, all of it slick with sweat. He must have looked disgusting, and there was Phoenix, ever by his side.

“Bet you didn't plan on staying the night so soon, huh?” Phoenix said, and got to his feet. “Sit tight; I'll get you some water.”

Miles began to shiver in the time that Phoenix was gone, and by the time Phoenix returned, he'd started shaking so hard that could barely hold the glass. This was the worst part about being ill. Not the vomiting, though that was unpleasant. No, it was the weakness.

Phoenix had to help him raise the glass to his lips, help him stand, help him to bed.

They both stayed quiet throughout this process, save the occasional murmur from Phoenix, requests and intentions. And through it all, Phoenix had a look on face that said almost as much as any words could, the sort of tender pity generally reserved for loved ones.

Somewhere under all the pain and nausea, butterflies filled Miles’ stomach.

Phoenix knelt beside the bed now. He reached out a hand and brushed Miles’ cheek, like something out of a dream. “How are you feeling now?”

Sick, embarrassed, wrung out beyond belief. But safer now, too. Miles studied his hands where they rested atop the duvet (Phoenix's duvet). “Better,” he said. “A little better.”

Phoenix had him, after all. He'd be okay.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I've fallen down an internet rabbit hole on figure skating ever since I began thinking about that skating AU I mentioned, I think I have an idea that might justify Kaisa only coming to the national/international competition scene later in life.

Apparently the ladies' singles discipline is. Super problematic (sorry if it's obvious, I knew literally nothing about this sport until last Saturday), and I'm imagining Kaisa could have been a victim of that. Maybe she trained under Abigail or that other nameless witch who looks like Abigail. Maybe she was a pupil of her (their?) academy, and had hopes of competing as a teenager.

But her coaches kept pushing her, to do triple and quadruple jumps without proper technique, relying on keeping her weight low and on overworking her back. Pushing her to do the routines they wanted, without the artistry elements she loved. Pushing her to diet in unhealthy ways and overtrain. Maybe they convinced her she could only be a proper skater with those technical elements, that she was struggling to master because they are hard as fuck and because Kaisa is already a scrawny person, if you stop her from eating on top of that things are not going to look good.

Her coach(es) doesn't really have her as one of her favourites, keeping her from competing for a long time since she couldn't master those jumps. But eventually she does, at the expense of her own body. The coaches sign her up for a bigger competition, then, and maybe she even makes it the first time or two, but without ever getting to a nationals. Because at some point, when she's practicing her routine full of backloaded jumps for extra points, she falls and suffers an injury.

This wrecks her completely. She doesn't want to compete anymore, because she has realized that this lifestyle that is being forced into her is sucking all the joy out of skating. Good thing too, because her coaches decide to put their energy into even younger athletes. So Kaisa goes back to the ring where she used to skate for fun when she was a child, and asks Tildy for a job.

And then, years later, Tildy asks her to give private coaching to a pre-teen who is just sooo talented. And sure, Lauren annoys the hell out of Kaisa with her attitude (something Kaisa makes sure to retribute), but in her Kaisa sees something different. Here is a teenage girl in singles figure skating who isn't destroying her body for the sake of pulling dangerous moves that will earn her points. An athlete who actively chooses to practice just for fun even when everyone tells her she should be going competitive. An artist who does amazing programs that are loved by everyone even without those technical elements that Kaisa had been so unhealthily pushed to pursue when she'd been her age.

And, well, if Lauren corners her one day to ask her why the hell she wasn't competing since she clearly liked it so much, Kaisa had always been the sort of person to need a little encouragement to be pushed into action, hadn't she?