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samwontshare · 3 years ago

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Hawkeye finale!

Where do I start???? I was NOT expecting Hawkeye to be the best MCU show and here we are. The writing was tighter on Hawkeye than any other show because they told a neat, character driven story. Love it.

-Maya. Oh my heart. I love her so much. I’m so happy she’s getting her own show. Her tragic battle with Kazi, who betrayed her but obviously loved her. She just wanted to run away together. Maya taking down Kingpin, what an icon. Now it’s not confirmed he’s dead so I think that’s a real set up for her own show. Her hair down, be still my queer heart. I wish she had more screen time and with Kate in particular.

-Some people expressed confusion about this plot point so to clarify: Hawkeye as Ronin did kill Maya’s father, but Hawkeye received the information from “an informant” of the Kingpin’s. Kazi is implied to be the one who sold out Maya’s dad to Ronin/Hawkeye, which is why he wasn’t there that night, but it was all under the Kingpin’s orders. Maya stopped blaming Hawkeye because he was only the weapon - the hit would have been ordered even if Hawkeye wasn’t there.

-Kate is just delightful. I love her spirit and her heart. And wow, that last guilt trip by her mother? Hahaha that felt so real. I like that her mom was evil but also genuinely cares about Kate and was willing to get out of the game to protect her (or rather protect her secret from Kate at least). Her relationship with Kate always felt genuine even if her motivations were darker.

-Hawkeye called them partners. 🥺

-Yelena my love. Y’all Aside from Florence Pugh being the new Kristen Stewart (the wlw know what I mean), I just adore Yelena as a character. Her scenes with Kate were so iconic. They’re the new Sam and Bucky. We haven’t seen a female friendship like this in the MCU. The only other women who were allowed to play off each other like this have been sisters (or were separated decades before current canon). I want so so so much more of them together. Kate brings out Yelena’s compassion and playfulness. Yelena never wanted to hurt Kate. Even when Kate interferes with her mission, Yelena never puts her in harm’s way.

-Even as Yelena is hell bent on killing Clint, she wanted the truth. She just needed closure. Her tearful declaration that she could have saved Nat broke my heart into a thousand pieces. This show, more than Black Widow and more than Endgame, has been the love letter to Nat that we as fans all needed. It doesn’t change what they did, but the love that was shown to Nat by Clint and Yelena felt like audience proxies. Our favorite snatched away too soon, blame that it should have been Clint, and anger that no one remembers Nat when they honor Tony. All of Yelena’s grief felt like our grief. It was so well done. It isn’t fair but we have to live with it. The implication that Nat died in order to bring back Yelena and leave no other children abandoned is crushing.

-The Track Suit mafia all in red and green. Excellent.

-All the trick arrows!!!! Kate ruining the Christmas tree! Does anyone ever pay damages??

-I assume Bobbi took up the mantle of Agent 19 after Clint’s wife left. I’m guessing she left before the kids were born or during her first pregnancy.

-The LARPers hahaha bless them they got to live their fantasy!

-Shout out to Jack for being a rich nerd with a heart of gold. Big foppish pirate vibes. What a chaotic character, I love it. I hope he funds the LARPers lifestyles.

-The musical was a funny way to end because it really subverted expectations. But what a missed opportunity to have some Avengers watching aghast.

-They wore their matching costumes :)

-The owl. I died. And the shrunken truck! The little voices! Dusvwbs do you think they survived and are trying to figure out how to get big again??? 😂😂😂

#hawkeye series #hawkeye spoilers #yelena belova #kate Bishop #Maya Lopez

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crazy-czech-fangirl · 4 years ago

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Kristen Stewart - Howard Stern interview

Yesterday I saw the interview with Howard Stern and wow. I’ve never seen her so openly speak about the Twilight era and relationship with Rob. So I decided to transcript the parts about Twilight and Robert because I couldn’t find it anywhere. If you have time go watch the whole interview it’s really worth it!

****

H: The way they’re covering your romance with Robert Pattinson and all this.. I had him on the show and he said no relationship could survive the intense scrutiny that we were under. It was insane.

K: Yeah it was. I mean we wanted to like keep it ours so it was like this thing of going like..well do you like live openly and share your life in a way that actually entitles you to living it sort of more freely and naturally or do you like put it on lock because you hate the idea of perpetuating this like commodified version of your..something that feels real to you and you’re like ‘I’m not selling you shit’! But then you actually deprive yourself of like so many experiences. Like we didn’t walk down the street holding hands because we were like ‘Don’t wanna give it to them’ but then we didn’t get to walk down the street holding hands. And it sucked.

H: Of course it sucked because the best part of the relationship with anyone..

K: Is screaming from the rooftops!

H: ‘I’m in love!’

K: Yeah!

H: And walking around holding somebody’s hand.

K: I know.

****

H: ....Not only were you falling in love with Rob on the set.. Which by the way I think is the biggest mistake an actor can make.

K: There was nothing I could do.

H: The director was even nervous because the first time you guys kind of auditioned together to see the chemistry..it was an immediate chemistry between the two of you.

K: Yeah, yeah. It’s so weird like actually being honest about this like it’s been so heavily consumed and I have this fear that people would assume that maybe I’m like..’oh cool you’re still pushing that narrative’ and it’s like ‘No I’ve actually never been allowed to just say what happened’. Because I was so self conscious about seeming like an attention seeker.

H: Or taking advantage of the fact that you guys were dating.

K: Yeah exactly. We were together for years. That was like my first..you know..

H: Love.

K: Yeah. I mean like I was super in love with my high school boyfriend. Super in love with him. But me and Rob were like little older and it was like *GOGUM*.

H: He’s a charming guy.

K: Yeah he’s the best.

****

H: Rob when he was here told me with Twilight that they wanted to go a whole other direction . They wanted you to be smiling and him to be smiling. Be a lovable little vampire. And he said it was tremendous pressure to act that movie the way he wanted to.

K: Yeah. Honestly thank god he had that.. I mean he like..he wouldn’t do it the other way. And I don’t think he even had that in his wheelhouse like his body wouldn’t do that. And I mean mine either. I was like..The only reason this is good is because it’s like “Aaargh” and they were like ‘But it’s not fun!’. We took a lot of slack. Like we were constantly being like reprimanded and thank god we stuck to our guns because that’s why the movie works.

H: Yes. Yes that’s exactly why the movie works.

****

H: Would you recommend to other young actresses that they fall in love during their movie or should they avoid it? Because that’s my point. You say you couldn’t have stopped yourself falling in love with Rob.

K: I don’t think it’s really a choice..

H: Isn’t it dangerous because the set is such an aphrodisiac. It’s like..

K: Maybe it’s not real. Yeah but then you could apply that to any other...What is?

H: What is real?

K: Yeah.

H: Because they cater to you, they’re treating you like you’re a star..

K: Mmmm no.

H: No? It wasn’t like that?

K: No. Not at all. ‘Get your ass to set and start smiling bitch’. And I’m like ‘Nope’.

H: But did you have a sense that you were in trouble now that you were in love. Because you’re like ‘oh this is cliched I’m falling in love with my costar’.

K: I thought that was the coolest thing ever and I was so proud of it and I was like ‘We’re like rockstars dude’. I was like ‘Yeah you wish you had this.’ You know when you have that thing and you’re like ‘This is the coolest’.

H: Well it’s cool too because you’re really trapped in like high school or college and at least you have this great outside romance going on.

K: It was fun.

H: But it’s always doomed isn’t it because it’s just too much pressure when you got famous as you did so quickly.

****

H: Trump was consumed with the fact that you and Rob Pattinson had broken up.

K: Sure. Yes.

H: And he started tweeting against you saying ‘Hey Rob you can do much better than Kristen Stewart’.

....

K: You would think that he had more important things to do. It’s absurd.

...

H: Did you ever talk to Rob about it? Did you ever say ‘Can you believe the president of the United States is carrying on about our relationship.

K: Yeah we got back together. We like went through a thing and it fucking sucked but like we really wanted to be together...I don’t remember that particular conversation but we definitely were talking about everything at that time.

****

K: I had people genuinely asking me if that relationship was real or fake. And I was like..

H: Like the movie fabricated it for publicity.

K: Right yeah.

H: But they did used to do that in the old days.

K: I know it’s such a weird studio system old school way of...You really think at this point after all these years like that I’m..like that’s how I live my life?

H: There’s no way a relationship could survive the types of scrutiny that you guys had.

K: We were also just so young you know what I mean like there are stages..life is long..yeah.

H: Was there a point you would have gotten married do you think?

K: I don’t know.

H: I wonder..imagine

K: I wanted to..Yeah no I mean like I think I’ve never...

H: If he proposed you would have gotten married.

K: I don’t know. I’m not like a super duper traditionalist but at the same time like I...every relationship that I’ve ever been in I thought ‘This is it’. I’ve never like casually dated..I mean maybe one or two..Yeah I’m not giving everyone that. But like I’ve never really been the most casual person.

****

K: (what she could have done better while acting) .. and certain parts of Twilight. New moon I totally screwed up the like devastating..I was so in love with Rob and so happy that I couldn’t imagine losing him. But now I’m like ‘oh man I could have really done better work in that movie’.

****

H: (Snow white and the huntsman) That movie did really well. And then they didn’t ask you to be in the sequel.

K: We lived in a different time then you know what I mean. I feel like the slut shaming that went down was like so absurd. And they should have put me in that movie it would have been better..not to be a dick but..

H: You’re sayin there was slut shaming of you?

K: Well they didn’t put me in that movie because I went through a highly publicized scandal. So they were like scared of touching that.

H: Because you fell in love with the director? So that’s why they didn’t have you in the sequel? That was a dumb move.

K: I think so.

H: Isn’t that wrong though? Not to put you in a sequel because you fell in love with the director?

K: Well I wouldn’t say that I fell in love with the director...

H: Oh you had an affair..

K: Yeah that was weird..that was a kind of a weird thing. But I definitely...It wasn’t that big of a deal. Do you know what I’m saying. It’s like literally..

H: No because I’ve actually forgotten about it.

K: Yeah..

H: People at the time think it’s a big deal.

K: The work is so much more important. It’s like what do you care if I..I just thought that that movie actually..we could have made a great second one and we could have done it in a functional and healthy way. And then we didn’t ultimately do that and that’s okay because I did other stuff and it’s fine but yeah..that was weird.

H: So you were blamed for not being in the second movie because you had sex with somebody. That’s what you’re telling me?

K: I did not fuck him.

H: Oh you didn’t fuck him?

K: No I didn’t.

H: Oh so why not clear that up? Why not say that?

K: Who’s gonna believe..It doesn’t even matter

H: I believe you.

K: Honestly I feel like you do and I actually feel like this is the most honest setting I’ve ever been involved with.

H: You have been so honest with this so why did you get pegged as fucking..

K: Well because it looks like..you know you make out with a dude in public it definitely looks like you...

H: Oh oh so it was an innocent sort of thing and the media made it out to be a big deal.

K: Yeah I mean look it wasn’t innocent that was like a..you know that was a really hard period of my life. I was like really young and like um...

H: Well it’s understandable you’re a young woman. Yes ok you were going out with Rob...

K: Yeah I didn’t really know how to deal with that and I made some mistakes.

H: Hey guess what everybody does.

K: Yeah exactly. And honestly it’s no one’s business and people get over shit like that. You know what I mean? It’s really not a big deal. Basically what I’m saying is the work to me genuinely was ignored in a really sort of frivolous like silly petty way. For a group of adult people who were like supposed to be running studios and making films that’s what you..I mean honestly the film industry in Hollywood is so fear based and there are like equations that lead people to massive decisions that you assume are creative that are not at all.

H: Yes.

K: And so like that didn’t fit in their equation. And I think they are idiots because if you take a little risk and you make something good people will watch it and like it and pay you.

youtube

#robsten #robert pattinson #kristen stewart #twilight #howard stern #Youtube

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eldritchamy · 4 years ago

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I watched “Happiest Season” and no it fucking wasn’t.

Here’s a review so you don’t have to suffer like I did: if I wasn’t watching it as the host of a movie night, I would not have made it past 20-30 minutes in.

It was very uncomfortable to watch. I feel like I just spent two hours on a plane with a crying baby. Except the baby was a homophobic rich white Republican that I was forced to campaign for. All of the people I watched it with, including myself, found it stressful, anxiety inducing, and deeply unpleasant. The first thing I did when it was over was warn my best friend not to watch it.

90% of the movie is rich white straight people drama forcing lesbians into the closet. It’s not fun. It’s not happy. It wasn’t enjoyable. At all. Watching this was an uncompromisingly depressing and miserable experience.

It was marketed as a romantic comedy and it was neither of those things. I feel repressed for having seen it.

Every relationship in this movie is toxic and hard to watch, with the sole exception of two other characters who aren’t part of the family both having much better chemistry with Kristen Stewart’s character than her girlfriend.

Aubrey Plaza playing Gay Aubrey Plaza one of two redeeming things in the movie and she’s in it for about ten minutes, and even one of her scenes was hard for me to sit through (the awkward and dubiously written drag bar scene) The other 90 minutes are agonizingly drawn out and unbearable.

If you are determined to support this movie because god knows we need more (and MUCH better) representation and we live in a hellscape where money is the only way to ask for such things, press play on it and then take out your headphones and go read a book instead until it’s over.

For your own sake please do not watch this.

I genuinely can’t tell who it’s even FOR. If anything about this movie resonates with you, I am SORRY to hear that, because you are probably the lesbian daughter of a very rich white man running for office as a Republican, and watching any of the rich housewife reality shows probably gives you PTSD because those are the kind of people you grew up with.

And even IF that is the case, spare yourself the trauma of watching your own life and watch something else instead. This movie will only hurt you.

Nothing about the experience of seeing this was worth it.

Plot spoilers ahead.

The plot is as follows:

Abby (Kristen Stewart) loves her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis). But she does not love Christmas. After a night out together, Harper asks her to join her when she visits her family for the holidays. Abby says yes, and gets her gay male friend John (that guy from Schitt’s Creek) to cover pet sitting for her. While running a few errands with him, she goes to pick up an engagement ring which looks completely unattainable for a woman who makes a living as a pet sitter.

When they are almost to Harper’s family’s home, she awkwardly brings up that she lied about coming out to them earlier in the year. They still don’t know she’s gay and they have to make sure the family is perfect and scandal free because her dad is running for mayor or something and one of his donors? campaign manager? is going to be there. So they have to pretend Abby is her straight roommmate. They fight about it before Abby very reluctantly agrees. This is a pattern that repeats until Abby can’t take any more.

The family is like upper-class-Republican terrible. They are AWFUL people. The parents treat their children like trophies in a display case, and the children all feel forced into brutal competition with each other to see who the parents will actually be proud of. One of Harper’s sisters (Jane) is actually an okay person who does nothing wrong, but she’s an aspiring writer who has spent 10 years not finishing her book and she’s played like she belongs in a different movie, and it feels like she’s meant to be seen as the useless layabout sibling, in a cruelly funny way.

The other sister is a nightmare of a woman (Sloane? I think?) played by a completely unrecognizable Allison Brie. She’s a lawful evil cutthroat monster who is straight up VICIOUS to the other two, and is especially terrible to Harper, because neither of them even see Jane as competition. Her own family is the thing she uses to try to be worthy of her parents’ pride and affection.

The dad is focused entirely on his campaign and is more or less indifferent to all of them unless they aren’t “presentable” and “scandal free” enough to keep his potential donor/campaign manager satisfied, in which case he “expects better of them” until they behave. The children are like 30.

The mom is maybe the worst of all of them. She’s invasive, ignorant in that forceful way where she doesn’t give a shit about anything except her own bubble of reality that she thinks she’s living in and blows past any contradiction to it like it’s not even there, nitpicky about what everyone’s doing, is willfully out of touch with everything she’s told (Abby’s parents died when she was 19, and she spends the movie acting like she thinks Abby grew up in an orphanage made of dirt and never had a Christmas before). And she will not leave the two of them alone. She insists it’s ridiculous for two grown women to share a bedroom and gives Abby a room without a lock in a basement that’s bigger than my whole house, while Harper’s room is upstairs. Everyone is constantly barging into Abby’s room with less than two seconds of notice, which leads to the kind of tension and awkwardness you’d expect. The first morning, Abby wakes up to Sloane’s children staring at her.

Abby is clearly MISERABLE. And so are you, because you’re watching this movie. Abby and Harper are constantly pushed apart by the family, and Harper pushes Abby away while pretending to be perfect and straight for her family.

Her family invited Harper’s ex boyfriend, who thinks they should rekindle things. Super fun thing that I always love to see in my lesbian media.

While out at dinner, Abby and Harper have another mini fight in the bathroom. Harper promises she had no idea Connor(?) was going to be there and that there won’t be any more surprises. They walk out of the bathroom, right into Harper’s OTHER ex, her first girlfriend Riley (Aubrey Plaza, who literally just plays herself and is the only good thing about the movie).

This is the first 20 minutes.

There’s a party that leaves Abby feeling isolated and pushed away. She goes outside to make a phone call. She makes regular texts and phone calls to John for support and advice throughout the movie. He’s terrible at taking care of fish, but he’s genuinely a good friend to her and it’s clear he cares about her a lot. It’s probably unfair not to say his friendship is the second redeeming thing in the movie. After Abby gets off the phone with him the first time, Riley comes out from around the corner and tries to be nice, saying she could relate to what she’s going through. Abby kind of closes off from her and she takes the hint without any fuss and leaves her alone.

The movie slogs on with compounding stress and anxiety and a moment when Abby is LITERALLY forced to hide in a closet and pretend she was sleepwalking on her way to Harper’s bedroom at night. It MIGHT have been an attempt at a joke? I’m genuinely not sure because I did not come close to laughing once in the entire 100 minutes of this nightmare. Harper instead sneaks into Abby’s room while she’s awkwardly trying to get away from Harper’s mom. That’s where the gifs of the sneak-snuggle from behind the door come from. Enjoy the gifs because everything that wasn’t giffed is not worth seeing. Harper spends the night there.

Bright and early, Harper’s mom comes knocking on the door, trying to open it and barge in again but Abby blocked the door with something heavy claiming it was to “keep her from sleepwalking again” (her excuse for being in the closet) while Harper frantically gets almost-dressed and hides behind the door as BOTH parents come to bother them, and the evil sister’s children see her partially dressed through the crack in the door.

Later that day Abby has to go shopping for a present for the “White Elephant” Harper didn’t warn her about. She bumps into Sloane at the mall, who dumps her kids off on her before quickly leaving. The kids very intentionally frame Abby for shoplifting by putting a necklace in her bag, and there’s a really awkward and uncomfortable scene with her being interrogated by overly forceful mall cops who are yelling at her. When she finally gets back to the house, Harper’s entire family now thinks she’s a criminal.

Abby spends the night alone during another (campaign?) party that Harper told her she’d probably be happier getting left out of, and she bumps into Riley on the street and gets to talking with her, still more frustrated by Harper and her family. She says she needs some alcohol, Riley takes her to a drag bar which gave me really bad vibes and bonds with her there, telling her a bit about her relationship with Harper. They dated secretly (obviously) in their first year of high school (which implies she knew she was gay before she dated Connor, and used him as a cover). They would sneak each other romantic notes. When someone found one in Harper’s locker, she threw Riley under the bus completely, outed her, and said she was obsessed with her so she could go on pretending to be straight. They bond a bit and seem like they could be friends, at a minimum. They have a few more scenes together over the next hour (yeah there’s still that much movie left, and if you’re wondering how it could be that bad, you’re welcome for the warning, because I was wondering that too) and they have better chemistry than Abby and Harper by miles.

Eventually Abby becomes so miserable she checks the movie-specific version of Uber to try to go home by herself, but it’s running at holiday rates so it would cost over $1000 for her to leave. She’s still tempted to do it, and calls John again for advice and says she feels awful, completely alone, and with no way out of this horrible situation. He gives her some more friendly support.

Abby still needs a White Elephant gift, but has no way to go by herself because Harper drove them there. So she calls Riley to go with her. They spend a day hanging out together while Harper is doing some other thing with her dad’s campaign, and Abby makes text excuses to Harper, who then immediately sees Riley and Abby walking by on the street together. Before she gets a chance to run out and say something, she gets interrupted by something I thankfully don’t remember (I long for the moment this is true of the rest of it).

Riley and Abby bond some more but nothing romantic happens. The plot only wants them to be good friends, even though their chemistry is really good.

At the end of the day Abby comes in and Harper immediately almost starts a fight with her but they get interrupted again somehow.

I have willed most of the next 20 minutes out of my mind, apparently.

There’s yet another party at this gigantic house because I hate the rich, Abby and Riley talk more. This is the one with the really gay outfit. Abby admits to Riley that she was planning on proposing to Harper, but at this point it’s like she’s a completely different person and she can’t tell who the real Harper is. Riley says it’s probably both of them.

SURPRISE JOHN IS HERE. He comes in the front door and calls for Abby. After Abby’s last phone call he arranged for his therapist to do the pet sitting and he drove all the way here just so he could take her home. Seriously, John has incredible Good Friend Energy. Yet more awkwardness ensues, while John mixes some awkward flirting with Connor into his poor attempt to come off as straight. Abby then walks right up to Harper, says “we’re done” and goes to grab some things to leave. Harper follows her into the room and tries to get her to stay, Abby says she can’t take the hiding and the general misery, the whole experience has been terrible and she’s not sure if Harper is the person she thought she was. Harper argues for her to stay and says she’s caught between being afraid of losing her family if she comes out and knowing she’ll lose Abby if she doesn’t. She promises to come out to them as soon as the holidays are over because Abby is more important to her. They kiss briefly and realize Sloane is in the doorway.

Sloane tries to run to tell the rest of the family because burning Harper’s reputation forever means she’ll be the one their parents love most. They fight in the many hallways of this stupidly enormous rich people house (this is when “Stay out of it, Sappho” happens) and on the way to ruin her sister’s life Sloane finds her husband making out with another ....campaign person? in the pantry and or closet which is big enough to fit two people inside. Now Harper has something to use against Sloane. This family is fucking horrible. Sloane gets to where everyone else is first, and outs Harper.

Harper tries to swear she’s not gay, and sees Abby watching her. She silently turns and walks out the door with John. Harper then grabs a giant painting that Jane spent 100 hours on for the white elephant and smashes it over Sloane’s head and yells at her before falling apart.

Abby and John have another heartfelt conversation where John asks how she came out to her parents, and she said they loved and supported her. Then he said his dad kicked him out on the street and didn’t talk to him for thirteen years. He says everyone’s story is different, and Harper was still going through hers, and it was a hard one. I THINK he acknowledges that if Abby doesn’t feel like she belongs in that story, she shouldn’t force herself to? But that might have been wishful hindsight. Abby comes back into the house to grab her things and leave, Harper comes out to her family right in front of her, Abby says it was too late and leaves anyway. Harper is crushed and the rest of the family starts to see how fucked up they all are.

And then in the span of 7 fucking minutes the parents realize they were shitty to Sloane and Harper and the only reason Jane turned out okay is because they gave up on her, they give a minimal apology to their children, who also realize they were shitty to each other, and then it’s the next day and Abby is there with them, Harper has the ring on her finger, and everyone is magically happy now because the dad turned down his campaign advisor who said she could still work with him if he kept Harper’s “problem” a secret.

Jane’s book becomes a best seller and she’s friends with John now, because he was the only person who seemed genuinely interested in her passion. He sits next to her at her book signing. The end.

No, I’m not kidding.

As soon as it was over, I thought, wow that felt like a rushed happy ending that got slapped onto the end with nothing building up to or deserving it.

After further consideration, that gives it too much credit.

Because honestly? after the first hour and thirty five minutes of this hell, Abby and Harper being together at the end is not even something I would consider a happy ending. I wasn’t satisfied at all. It DEFINITELY felt like Abby ending up with Riley would have been a better movie.

If I had been told beforehand that a lesbian romcom starring Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis, and featuring Aubrey Plaza as Gay Aubrey Plaza would have been an absolutely miserable experience that was hard to sit through and nothing but unpleasant to watch, I would probably have been shocked and disappointed.

But at least I would have not seen this movie. That is my gift to you. Please do NOT watch this.

It was marketed as a romantic comedy and it lived up to neither of those claims. Absolutely terrible movie. The happiest season of all is one where you don’t watch this stressful, uncomfortable disaster.

#eldritchreviews

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riagriche · 3 years ago

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may 2022 movie reviews

i watch two movies (one live-action & one animated) a week every month: letterboxd account ★ two movies a week every month list

here are the ten movies i watched for the month of may:

**SPOILERS BELOW**

MAY 2 - TWILIGHT

surprisingly enough, i’d never watched twilight before may 2. i knew about it, of course, and i’d even taken the liberty of reading a few fics having neither watched nor read any canon twilight content. twilight was the first movie i watched in may for two reasons: one, i decided it was time to finally watch it, and two, i really liked kristen stewart in 2020′s underwater. twilight was awesome. i fully thought it would be a lot harder to watch since so many people make fun of it, but twilight is a solid movie with a captivating plot and - not that this is relavant - very attractive actors. i am always a sucker for vampire movies (by extension vampire romances) and twilight ticked all the boxes for me. one thing is that i really thought edward was kinda............a creep. yup. definitely a creep. i hope he gets better in the next movies because i am definitely watching more! letterboxd rating: 4/5 MAY 3 - RIVERDANCE

riverdance was ok. just...ok. i actually watched this with my sister at 1am but we ended up falling asleep because it was soooo slow-paced. ish. it wasn’t suuuper slow-paced, but there was this one part that dragged on so long i just had to go to sleep. rest assured i did end up finishing it when i woke up. i thought that the ending was kinda anticlimactic since there was a lot of build up before the fight with the huntsman, only for keegan to defeat him by dropping antlers into the river, and the huntsman NEVER. appears. again. just one blip and he’s gone. welp. still made me cry though, i didn’t think patrick would die so easily :,D letterboxd rating: 3.5/5

MAY 9 - MARLEY & ME

marley & me made me cry so hard that my brother knocked on my door and told me to cry quieter. the emotions that surfaced in me while watching this movie are very hard to describe. i was laughing. i was crying. i was sobbing my eyes out on my bedroom floor with the end credits playing in the background. this movie got me so good that i had to take a few moments to calm down before i went back to going on with my day. that’s how you know a movie is good. i do honestly think marley & me is a perfect movie. i also recently lost my dog and watching this movie was devastating (but also cathartic) for me. i guess this was a way to make peace with her passing. i loved how funny and how heartbreaking this movie was, and i think that the ending fits perfectly. i do wish there were more moments with marley in the middle of the movie though, his presence felt a bit overshadowed by all of the new kiddos that kept popping up

letterboxd rating: 5/5

MAY 10 - STORKS

i like storks. when i was a kid i was also told the tale of how storks brought babies to their parents. when i was old enough to know...well, i wasn’t super surprised, because where would the storks even get the babies, you know? this movie would’ve answered that question for me, because they’ve got MACHINES to make babies. where do they get their parents genes? how do they just materialize? WHO BUILT A MACHINE THAT MAKES BABIES? but in all seriousness, i liked this movie. it definitely has nothing to do with andy samberg voicing the main character. haha. definitely. i was also pleasantly surprised to hear kelsey grammer in the cast because i looooved him in finding neverland. truly a great cast for a great movie. i am still a bit confused about the baby making part and also...why did the boss have to die? kind of traumatizing if you ask me. could’ve just put him in bird prison or something

letterboxd rating: 4/5

MAY 16 - BEFORE I FALL

ahhhh a zoey deutch movie. i’ve yet to watch a bad zoey deutch movie. i’ve loved all the zoey deutch movies i’ve watched (example 1: set it up. example 2:.....set it up) and before i fall is honestly a game changer. i barely recovered from marely & me last week, but before i fall practically made me heave my lungs out the whole time i was watching.

before i fall is a very good movie to watch when you want a good cry. it teaches a very bittersweet lesson about empathy and kindness, loving and surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you. i still can’t believe they made sam die though, she finally changed for the better only for her to save juliet and die in her place to break the loop. hence why it’s bittersweet. i actually don’t accept this ending and i’ve decided that she lives happily ever after with kent and lindsay forever and ever. the end

letterboxd rating: 5/5

MAY 17 - THE SON OF BIGFOOT

idk. bigfoot was kindaaaaaa fine. also the mom. also don’t laugh but i definitely cried during that scene where bigfoot gave himself up so his family would be safe. the bullies were cringey and would get laughed at if they were real. what hairco was doing was definitely illegal and could definitely be a big case if it actually happened irl. alas, the hairco guy is too rich to be prosecuted. how very crazy rich caucasians of him

good movie, but not memorable. not at all memorable.

letterboxd rating: 3.5/5

MAY 23 - CATS

i love cats................the musical. not the movie. god, i hated the movie. well, hate is a harsh word, so i’ll say that i moderately disliked it. or that i didn’t particularly like or dislike it. or that i liked it.

nah. i hated it.

i can say this because i watched cats the musical live and everything that made cats the musical charming was stripped and the aftermath turned into cats the movie. cats the musical was good because of its audience interaction, the lights, the stage, the surreal choreography and talent the cast possessed. i remember vividly the first time i went to watch cats the musical, the way the cast moved with the grace and dignity cats carried themselves with. one of cats (definitely munkustrap) tied my shoelaces together. i DID NOT trip on the way out of the theater. who told you that? i disliked jason derulo’s rendition of the rum tum tugger. i disliked james corden’s bustopher (bc i hate james corden in any musical he stars in). i disliked the way they made mr. mistoffelees so......meek. he’s supposed to be a show-off, competitive, albeit silent. i also don’t like the way they made him a love interest for victoria. aka the newest kitten. aka the victoria that did THAT pax de deux with plato. who was like barely seen in the movie might i add. did he even have any lines?

but yeah. songs were ok. +3 points because taylor swift is in it obviously. she was an awesome bombalurina but i could definitely see concert taylor in her while she sang macavity. beautiful ghosts is also appropriately named, it’s a beautifully written song.

letterboxd rating: 3.5/5

MAY 24 - THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2

this healed the all consuming rage i felt after watching cats the movie. i loved the first movie, especially gidget and tiberius’ friendship, so i was a bit bummed to see that tiberius doesn’t show up in the second movie at all.

in his place, we have rooster, a super cool farm dog that gets all his chores done. we also have a tiger cub and a shih tzu voiced by tiffany haddish. it’s a good movie, it really is, but there’s nothing much to say. i still like the first movie better (def not bc of gidget and tiberius) i hope that in the third movie we get more gidget and tiberius. plz. i beg

letterboxd rating: 4/5 MAY 30 - NOTTING HILL

this was actually super cute! the leads have a lot of chemistry and julia roberts is gorgeous here as always - but there were a lot of misunderstandings that could’ve just been solved if anna were more honest to william. also this was my introduction to hugh grant (i haven’t watched bridget jones’s diary get over it 😠) so i’ll definitely be watching more of him since he did a fantastic job here! i’d totally rewatch this just to feel happier bc THAT ENDING SEQUENCE literally had me grinning from ear to ear. it was too sweet! i too would like it if my super famous lover told everyone that they’re staying in my country indefinitely and then got married to me and then have kids amen

letterboxd rating: 4/5

MAY 31 - THE QUEEN’S CORGI

honestly this was ehhhh? the queen was there obv it isn’t called the queen’s corgi for no reason, but trump was there somehow? it was a super weird movie. i have so many questions. does the queen just collect corgis...? and why was trump’s corgi wearing MAKEUP??? actually why did everyone have corgis??? is it like a world leader thing? they also made wanda weirdly attractive. i mean i get that we’re seeing her through rex’s eyes but what in the world was that? it was 13+ at least but it seriously looks like a kids’ movie from an outsiders pov. i admittedly also thought it was a kids’ movie until charlie tried killing rex REPEATEDLY. weird. it was entertaining tho i guess so it has that going for it. letterboxd rating: 3.5/5

♡

#monthly movie reviews #twilight #riverdance #marley & me #storks #before i fall #the son of bigfoot #cats the movie #the secret life of pets 2 #notting hill #the queen's corgi

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seblaine-rph · 4 years ago

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While you're looking into rps can we talk about Devereux Academy for a minute? A basic look at their main and rules reveals Kristin Stewart as an FC but she's asked repeatedly not to be used in rp, people getting originally tested for being Dom Switch or sub at 17, the rp wording is almost an exact replica of another rp that ran for a while, and they are allowing the Motta family to be whitewashed with a white Robert Pattinson FC. I'm sure theres more i was just too disgusted to keep looking.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been told to take a look at @devereuxacademy or heard about it being problematic. I can’t tell you about the dash and I’m not going to troll through everyone’s blogs, so if there is something on the dash that anyone would like to share with me (problematic plots, not tagging triggers, admin behavior,etc) then feel free to send another ask.

More than one person came to me when this rp first hit the tags, asking if I thought they had stolen parts of their rp. I reported this by answering multiple different asks about it and they never responded, which is very telling. Honestly, I think they did. Intentionally or not, they do have a lot of parts of other, existing roleplays in their plot and there are so many copy and pasted things that it looks to be done on purpose. You can say, “but it’s a D/s academy rp and there’s only so many ways to rp in a school, so of course it looks similar to other rps of the same genre” except for the part where even academy rps have their own unique plot points, including the history of the world, social economics, and the school as well as the history of the administration. And that wasn’t the last time it was brought to my attention, or the only reason. I do see it, if we’re looking for my opinion on the matter of stolen plot content. I can see at least three different roleplays that were already in the tags for a long time, weaved together to make this group. I don’t really see anything that is original in the plot or worldview info, aside from maybe the intense details on IVF as the reason for there being so many triplets. Don’t quote me on that, though, it may have been used before. I just haven’t seen it.

It weirds me out that they have all of their characters being thrust into nsfw situations before 18, with what should be an 18+ concept like BDSM, and at the same time they’re a discord rp as well as a tumblr rp. It says on their application that the characters are tested to find out which mark they are at 17. That’s a minor, being tested in a nsfw way because however you slice it BDSM and D/s are nsfw and nobody under the age of 18 can legally or morally be allowed to even dip a single toe in and that includes taking a test to find out what kinks they like and whether they’re going to want to be catching or receiving when it comes to sex. It just makes me wonder what’s being hidden in the discord. I’d also like to mention that they do have the option to play teachers as well as students, which is just weird and gross to me in this instance. The content is nsfw, clearly some students are going to get with teachers. It’s weird enough when it’s a sfw college rp and students do not smut with teachers, but being a teacher is a respectable character choice so I can see why you’d want to do it. If you were going to focus on talking to other teachers and developing plots with other teachers. In this instance though... the power dynamic between teachers and students are way different and there is a sexual overtone automatically because this is a kinky smut rp. You can also play a character as young as 21, which just makes me hope there are no relationships being written out by naive 21 year olds with their 30-40-50+, way more mature, could be their parent teacher. That might sound like I’m making up something that would never happen, but I have seen someone try to play a 62 year old lesbian that was predatory towards 19 year olds and even claimed one in a D/s rp like this. We all know how Glee rps work, we all know this line has already been crossed. We all also know why that’s gross- it’s an abuse of power and there is no way that a teacher/student dynamic could be cute because there will always be a sense of one person being way more mature than the other and being in a seat of power. Another reason to wonder what’s being hidden on this discord.

There are incorrectly casted families. In particular, I’m seeing POC families with fcs that should not belong because they do not match. I’d really like to know how it is that two Filipino girls and a black girl are twins. As a general note to the admins, you can’t erase half of someone’s ethnicity either. There are other families where one or more character is half right but also half wrong in an offensive way. And some families that are just wrong. I do give them props on some of this being right, but that doesn’t erase the other problems. You can’t whitewash people. Not all Asians are the same. Not all Latinx people are the same. Brown people aren’t interchangeable. Let me just list these so they’re easier to fix:

In the Adams family, Alex Newell is African-American but the fc has a sister that’s British, Polish and Caribbean. That might be picking at straws but I always find it offensive when people pick and choose how to group ethnicities- like deciding all Asians are the same so they can be related. Either way, she’s over half white which doesn’t match up.

Laura Harrier is Rachel Berry, she is half black and half white with Jewish background so that’s a really nice choice but then she’s twins with two Haliee Steinfeld fcs? Hailee who is Filipino... She’s also been accused of using the N word and being racist so she’s on a lot of people’s banned lists for the same reasons as Lea Michele.

Brianna Tju is in a Chinese family but she’s half Indonesian. She’s also a Disney Channel star, so some people find that problematic from the start, because most of her resources are from kid’s shows at an age that is too young to be roleplaying. She’s only 22 now, which is old enough to rp, however the only real resources she has are from something that aired in 2015 and was likely filmed in 2014 or earlier. When she was definitely a minor.

Kaya Scoldelario is Brazilian. She’s whitewashed by being placed in the Clarington family.

Zoe Deutch is Jewish. Her siblings are Matthew Daddario (Slovak, Italian, Irish, Hungarian, and English) and Haley Lu Richardson, who has a white background that doesn’t include Jewish. This is the Corcoran family as well, which should be Jewish, since they’re all related to Idina Menzel.

Victoria Pedretti is Jewish and she’s in the very white Evans family.

None of the older Fabrays are Jewish, and Ashley Johnson is Native American but also somehow a twin of the white Frannie Fabray.

Principal Figgins is played by someone that is Pakistani but the Figgins on the masterlist is played by Dev Patel, who is Gujarati Indian.

Tyler Hoechlin is also partially Native American, but he is placed in the Flangan (Irish, like straight out of Ireland) family that has Rory recast as Thomas Dogherty (Scottish) with an Ariana Grande (Italian) twin as well.

Kristen Stewart is on the masterlist but she has asked numerous times not to be used in roleplay because it makes her uncomfortable. I just covered this for another roleplay, and I’ve seen other people mention it, so it’s common knowledge at this point. She has been saying this for a long time. She’s also placed as the twin of Danielle Campbell, who is Mexican and Cajun French while Kristen is just white and the canon family member (Gilbert, so Adam Lambert) is Jewish.

Zendaya is also placed as a twin to Samantha Ware. Zendaya is mixed race, half black and half white, while Samantha is black.

Yvette Monreal is the twin to Demi Lovato. Yvette is Chilean. Demi is Mexican and Portuguese.

Avan Jogia is a Hart, but he is Gujarati Indian and white. He would be a better family relation to Dev Patel than anyone else on the masterlist and vice versa. As a refresher, Samuel Larsen (the canon fc for the Hart family) is Mexican, Danish, Spanish and Persian.

Maddison Jaizani is Iranian, but she’s listed as a Holliday which makes her related to Gwyneth Paltrow... a blonde, white woman.

Jacob Elordia is Basque and his sibling on the masterlist is Marie Avgeropoulos, a Greek actress.

Rafael Silva is Brazilian, but he is a Lopez triplet, related to a Mexican-Irish sister (Lindsay Morgan) and a Mexican-Jewish sister (Alexa Demie).

Sugar Motta is played by Vanessa Lengies on Glee, an Egyptian actress. Her family is whitewashed with two white fcs, Kelli Berglung and Robert Pattinson.

Kaylee Byrant is Japanese but she is twin to Madison Beer (Jewish) and Daisy Ridley (white).

The Puckerman family has lost its Jewish heritage. The only two on Noah’s side are Adelaide Kane (white) and Luke Pasqualino (Italian). Jake Puckerman has been recast as Justice Smith, who is half black and half white but is not Jewish. His sister is Samantha Logan who is half Trinidadian and half white and Pauline Singer, who is full Fijian.

Antonia Gentry is cast as a Weston. She is Jamaican, her listed twin is half white and half African-American. The newest acceptance for a Weston is for an African American fc.

Lili Reinhart is on the masterlist, but she’s problematic. She’s defended the abusive behavior of her cast mate, Cole Sprouse, who was very publicly accused of sexual assault and abuse. She’s also been accused of blackface annnnnnnd she’s used queer baiting to get people to watch the show. (She teased a girl on girl relationship publicly, telling people to watch the show because they might finally get to see something between Betty and Veronica, knowing that the fans wanted it, but then when she was asked about it in a later interview she scoffed and acted like it was absolutely impossible and would never happen, some would say she even sounded offended by the thought-- which is what everyone got mad at Melissa Benoist for doing with Supergirl.)

David Corenswet is Jewish, cast with Emily Browning as a sister, who is not.

I applaud the Brazilian change for Lauren Zizes, but Ashley Fink was a welcome representation of plus size actresses and the new fc is less than half her size. She’s still plus size technically, but she’s “model plus size,” which is not at all the same as Lauren’s body type. I ran this by someone that this change would affect and they were not pleased. They were the one that pointed this out to me, because it bothered them as a plus size person to see one of the few plus size characters recasted with a skinnier fc.

Dove Cameron is also on the masterlist, but she’s on a bunch of people’s banned lists. She replied to a fan that said they wanted her to notice them that they were stupid and had no life if that was one of their goals. She’s been rude to cast and crew on set. Dove has also been accused of throwing a fit and making the writers change the Descendants script to take the relationship that was written out for a black actress. She’s being accused of yellow fishing, which I believe is the term for trying to look Asian. She wore a Native American headdress in a cultural appropriation type of way. She’s been accused of being fatphobic and hiding behind photoshop on her social media while saying she doesn’t photoshop, so she’s giving off a false sense of reality to her fans. She’s been talking badly about someone that is trying to get their sexual assault story out there. The latest thing that’s come out about her is a rant about how mental health isn’t real and that people just need to logic their way out of depression? Which would be coming from a seat of high privilege. She wrote a series of tweets on the topic, calling negative mental health and the feelings they cause “a choice.” There’s a whole hashtag on Tumblr for her.

I’m not at all surprised to see that all of the diverse characters are open. No Artie, no Unique- who could definitely be recast as an actual trans woman, now that we’re living in the age of recasting for reasons of problematic natures- if we can have a new Puck, new Finn, new Rachel, and new Santana why not an appropriate Unique? She is literally the only canon trans woman, why not treat her with respect? They recasted Cooper to better fit the proper ethnicity, so...

#glee rph #glee rp #glee twin rp #glee multiples rp #smut rp #ds rp #kink rp #rph #rpcw #rpcha #sebastian answers #devereuxacademy #Anonymous

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kolbisneat · 4 years ago

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MONTHLY MEDIA: December 2020

And so concludes another year! Maybe not the most ideal 12 months on record, but certainly memorable. I dunno. Anyway here’s how I wrapped up the year.

……….FILM……….

Gremlins (1984) Every time I watch this I just marvel at the fact that it was made. The practical effects are fantastic, the characters are so over-the-top that I think the Gremlin-sized mallet is the most believable part of the whole film. It just has that energy of a live-action cartoon and for that, I love it.

Gremlins (1990) This and Aliens fall under the category of sequels I didn’t like at first (for the hard turn in tone) but have come to really appreciate and enjoy. The opening with Bugs and Daffy really sets the tone for the whole thing and in hindsight, I appreciate how it manages to do all the same stuff that was loved about the original while making it feel bigger and different. Not necessarily better or worst, but definitely different.

Happiest Season (2020) It really felt like Harper was written to be the villain, right? Anyway it was a solid Christmas movie for a modern era, Kristen Stewart was a solid lead, and Dan Levy’s comedic timing is unreal. All-around fun watch.

The Family Stone (2005) Claire Danes and Luke Wilson are the only redeemable characters in this movie and while I don’t think they’d work out as a couple, it’s a shame they never get a chance to chat and just say “hey all of our family members are awful, right?!?” Actually Thad and Patrick are decent people, but I suppose they’re overshadowed by everyone else. Oof what a movie.

……….TELEVISION……….

Ted Lasso (Episode 1.01 to 1.10) Never have I more sincerely connected with a character’s outlook than Ted Lasso. It doesn’t matter if you know anything about Premier League soccer, what you get is an optimistic, heartfelt comedy that doesn’t punch up, punch down, or really punch at all. It’s gentle and kind and the sort of tv we need more of right now.

The Queen’s Gambit (Episode 1.01 to 1.07) Dang I thought I knew a little bit about chess but like...none of that helps here. It felt like a Rocky miniseries only chess instead of boxing (and I mean this all as a compliment). Given that the show doesn’t expect a knowledge of the grame, credit to the actors for communicating what’s happening in a game just through facial expressions. Worth checking out.

The Bachelorette (Episode 16.08 to 6.13) You know what, this was a pretty good season! It’s a shame we didn’t get any follow up after the proposal, but it was refreshing to see a group of guys who all got along and were just generally mature!

Mad Men (Episode 7.12 to 1.14) And so ends a pandemic-long viewing of Mad Men. First time watching it and I knew a little of how the series ended and honestly, I think it was fine! We got to check in with most of the cast and while I wish we could’ve kept going with these characters, it really did feel like they were all headed off in different directions anyway. Great series would highly recommend.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (1.07 to 1.11) It wasn’t until Asuka showed up that I realized this show is a metaphor for puberty and thus, is super horny all the time. Viewing through that lense, it’s an interesting allegory and the robot fights are cool.

The Mandalorian (Episode 2.01 to 2.08) For me, this show works best when it’s doing its own thing and just kinda existing in the world. The frog lady stuff, the random tasks, even the first ep did a good job of walking the line between fan service and the confidence to tell a new story. But dang if that last ep didn’t throw it all out the window. I’m just not a big enough Star Wars fan that I need to see all the old stuff again. It’s lazy writing and that’s what bums me out the most.

……….READING……….

Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark (Complete) Really great! I don’t read much modern(ish) day fantasy but the ideas and worldbuilding in this are so economic that it felt immediately familiar. Plus who doesn’t love the idea of a sword-wielding heroine cutting down monstrous klansmen?

Illuminatus Part III: Leviathan by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson (Complete) After reading all three parts I can say, with confidence, that I have no idea who 90% of the characters are. Maybe it’s the similar names (John, George, Joe, etc.) or that every character talks like a philosophy student, but I just couldn’t separate them from each other. The plot and illuminati stuff was fun, but I’d seen so many great reviews and high praise that I was expecting it to be more fun.

Richard Stark's Parker: The Hunter by Darwyn Cooke (Complete) Darwyn Cooke’s effortlessly cool style elevates Stark’s pulp story to something that walks the line between classy and cruel. A murderous criminal is a tricky lead to follow but somehow you still want to see how it all shakes out. If you dig this first book then I recommend getting all 4 of Cooke’s interpretations of Stark’s work.

Scott Pilgrim Vol. 6: Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour by Bryan Lee O’Malley and Nathan Fairbairn (Complete) Still love this series after all these years and rereading them in color has been great. I still think the “glow”, as a twist/reveal, doesn’t really work and is somewhat convoluted, but it’s one misstep in what’s a consistently great run. The color version only adds to the quality of the book.

Dragon Ball 3-in-1 Vol. 2 by Akira Toriyama (Complete) This is the sort of light-hearted, good-natured comic I like to read around the holidays. There’s just something about a world where a criminal organization can be a mix of humans, bears, and a monster made of jelly that feels right, you know?

……….AUDIO……….

Song Exploder (Podcast) I’ve only listened to a handful of episodes so far but it’s really giving me a new perspective on music and the craft that goes into composing! I recommend starting with songs you like and then expanding from there.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) A small seasonal interlude! I’ve posted a longer recap on Reddit but the group has temporarily resolved the issue of the island flood and have moved on to an escaped Fairy causing wintery havok and significantly dropping the overall island temperature.

D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) And so concludes the adventure! I think I could’ve made the final showdown against Merlin a little more climactic, but live and learn. Now we’re taking a break as the group makes up new characters to play in this world!

And that’s it! We did it! Goodbye 2020 and here’s to a bigger and brighter 2021!

Happy Thursday!

#Monthly Media #Rambles #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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lastsonlost · 5 years ago

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Oh gasps, I'm shocked.

Who would have thunk it?

The story:

Updated with Sunday figures: In the wake of Terminator: Dark Fate’s failure at the B.O., and Paramount’s recent decision to make Beverly Cops 4 for Netflix, we have the further breakdown of cinema IP in Sony’s Charlie’s Angels reboot, which is tanking with a God-awful $8.6M domestic opening, $27.9M worldwide (from 26 markets), 3 Stars on Screen Engine-Comscore’s PostTrak, and a B+ Cinemascore.

The Elizabeth Banks-directed-written and produced pic is also opening in 27 offshore markets,

China being one where it’s also bombing,

with a $7.8M 3-day take in third place behind No. 1 local title Somewhere Winter ($13.1M).

All of this is primed to further spur a WTF reaction and anxiety among film development executives in town in regards to what the hell exactly works in this have-and-have-not era of the theatrical marketplace. Many will make the hasty generalization that old, dusty IP doesn’t work, or is now deemed too risky when it’s not a superhero project. However, moviemaking is an art, not a science, and annoying as it might sound, good movies float to the top, and this Charlie’s Angels reboot didn’t have the goods going back to its script.

<Maybe somebody should have been working on a good story instead of pushing an agenda.

We’re going to break down for you what went wrong in another graph, but we don’t want to bury the success of Disney’s release of Fox’s James Mangold-directed Ford v Ferrari, which looks to be coming in at $31.5M, well ahead of the $20M+ many were seeing, with an awesome A+ CinemaScore and 4 1/2 stars and a 68% definite recommend on Screen Engine/Comscore’s PostTrak. After a franchise-laden summer which buried originals, now an original pic is sticking it to the IP.

When it comes to the bombing of Charlie’s Angels, the takeaway is this is what happens when you have IP, but there’s no reason for telling the story.

In the walk-up to developing Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, and in the wake of its near $1 billion success, a fever broke out at the Culver City lot in the post-Amy Pascal era to reboot former Sony franchises or extend them, i.e. Zombieland: Double Tap (well over $103M at the global B.O. now), the upcoming Bad Boys 3, and, of course, Spider-Man, the latter electrified by Disney’s Marvel. Development studio executives define their being by getting films greenlit, and whenever that happens, it’s 90% of the job.

And the pressure is on to fill a 10-12 picture annual slate in a world where Disney vacuums up all the best IP. A third Charlie’s Angels with McG directing and Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu starring, wasn’t made immediately after the second chapter, 2003’s Full Throttle, as the sequel turned out to be 29% more expensive than the 2000 original at $120M, and also made less worldwide, $259.1M to $264.1M. With Elizabeth Banks coming off her hot feature directorial debut with Universal’s Pitch Perfect 2 (which over-indexed in its stateside opening at the B.O., going from $50M projections to $69.2M, and finaled global at $287.1M); after she expressed interest in September 2015 in taking on a Charlie’s Angels reboot with a modern feminist spin, there was no question in Sony’s mind that the project should move forward.

<Yeah Sony, how's that working out for you? You think they would have learned their lesson...

Guess not.

Back to the story.....

However, there were script problems, I hear, that could never be resolved. A few months after Banks boarded, Evan Spiliotopoulos came on to write. By the time cast was assembled in July 2018, Banks had penned the latest draft off a script by Jay Basu (The Girl in the Spider’s Web), and earlier drafts by Craig Mazin and Semi Chellas. Andrea Giannetti oversaw the project on the lot. However, I hear that the script for Charlie’s Angels didn’t really attract top talent, i.e. Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone and Margot Robbie (a trio that would have potentially jazzed up business). Hence, why the production opted to go with largely a fresh face cast outside of Kristen Stewart. While we overwrite that stars mean nothing at the box office, they do, sometimes, when it comes to propping IP, and unfortunately and arguably, no one in Middle America knows who British actress Ella Balinska is, and they’ve only became recently acquainted with Naomi Scott from Disney’s Aladdin and Lionsgate’s Power Rangers. Stewart, who is hysterical in the movie and even needed more funny bits, is in a different place in her career professionally, publicly, and privately. It’s unfair to think that she could delver her Twilight fans now.

Had she done Charlie’s Angels promptly in the swell of the Twilight whirlwind (like Snow White and the Huntsmen) then maybe it would have popped.

But she has largely been dormant from popcorn wide releases for the last seven years since 2012’s Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, busy excelling and wowing in specialty awards season and festival fare like Clouds of Sils Maria, Still Alice, and this year’s Seberg, to name a few. Stewart needed to be paired with equal or bigger-name actresses.

was a one quadrant movie, eyed at women 13-39, especially given its lack of action scenes, and wisely limited their exposure to what I hear is 50%, with co-finance partners 2.0 Entertainment and Perfect World. Sony claims the budget is $48M net; we’ve heard in the mid $50Ms. Tax incentives were taken in the pic’s Berlin and Hamburg shoots. Perhaps Sony should have spent more, because Charlie’s Angels biggest problem is that it has very low-octane, we’ve-seen-it-all-before action scenes. Heck, there’s more action in a 1980s Chuck Norris movie. After watching Charlie’s Angels earlier this week, I put the first two McG movies on Netflix, and it was like watching Star Wars in comparison to this reboot, with his sharp production design, camera movements, unique action, and comedy set pieces, and, of course, the first movie blasted Sam Rockwell out of a cannon. Understand that the first two movies in the series were able to compete and hold their own in an action space where, yes, Mission: Impossible and Fast & Furious (the first two films came out in 2001 and 2003) also thrived. Mission and Fast sequels distinguish themselves on multiple 10-minute action sequences that we’ve never seen before on screen; it doesn’t matter who the villain is. This Charlie’s Angels doesn’t have that. And not even a super-duper hit song “Don’t Call Me Angel” for the movie from Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, and Lana Del Ray can trigger lines at the multiplex; the music video clocking over 116M views on YouTube, per entertainment social media monitor RelishMix.

Some will claim that Banks’ version was never intended to emulate the meat and potatoes version of McG’s films; that this version was expected to be more comedic, and more feminist. Unfortunately, after McG set the table here with the franchise as an action film, you can’t reverse it. You can only outdo him. And with a franchise movie like Charlie’s Angels, you can’t make it for a one quadrant audience.

The film arrived on tracking with a $12M-$13M start, and really never budged, but sank. That means marketing didn’t work. I heard that a $100M global P&A was first planned on Charlie’s Angels, with the studio now reducing that overall cost greatly to around $50M and pulling back on expensive ads. Another hurdle in activating the young girl demo is that much of the pic’s cast isn’t on social media. RelishMix says that Banks is the social media star with over 6.6M followers across Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, with Scott counting 3.4M.

Sony kept pushing Charlie’s Angels, which in hindsight means there were development issues. In May 2017, a release date was announced for June 7, 2019. When the cast was locked down in July 2018, Charlie’s got moved to Sept. 27, 2019. In October 2018 when Warners pushed Wonder Woman 1984 from the first weekend in November to summer, Charlie‘s took over the autumn spot, which was the same exact place the original 2000 opened. However, when Terminator: Dark Fate moved onto the same first weekend in November, Charlie‘s relocated to this weekend as they vied for a China release which they ultimately got.

Charlie’s Angels drew a 66% female crowd, split between 36% over 25 and 30% under 25. But both demos respectively graded it low at 68% and 79%, with men at 35% giving it a 68% grade on PostTrak. Diversity breakdown was 52% Caucasian, 21% Hispanic, 14% Asian/Other, & 13% African American. Charlie’s Angels best markets were on the coasts and big cities. But again, nothing to brag about in Friday’s $3.2M gross, which includes $900K from Thursday and Wednesday previews.

Says RelishMix, which also foresaw this disaster approaching on social media chatter, “Angels is the latest example in a ‘woke’ effort to reboot a franchise that many were not all that interested in to start with. In fact, many references to the 2000 version get a call-out as a reason this one doesn’t seem to compare – whether it’s the cast or the action teased from the film.

And, as observed with other recent films, some action/adventure, unfortunately fans say they’re steering clear of this one because of its ‘girl power’ messaging.”

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atmilliways · 4 years ago

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On the 6th day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee…

Dec 18 - Crossover with your favorite holiday movie

An AU in which Dethklok is perhaps a little less of a ubiquitous presence in the music industry, but still big enough to have Dethklok Inc. and Dethklok Australia. Seth still runs the latter with his wife Amber and their son.

When Abigail takes a vacation to the Land Down Under, she ends up dating the most amazing woman she’s ever met and staying longer than expected. Amber invites her to come back to the states with her to her husband’s parents’ house for Christmas, so they can spend the holidays together. The only catch? It turns out that Seth hasn’t told his parents about the open marriage like Amber thought he had, so Abigail has to play the “friend” around Amber’s in-laws.

Chapter 1 of ?

Right now, my favorite movie is Happiest Season (2020) and the main character in that is named Abby, so this happened. Instead of the girlfriend needing to come out to her conservative parents, Seth needs to come out to his parents about being in an open marriage and tell them that Amber has a girlfriend.

I highly recommend this movie (if you do not have any squicks about The Fear that comes before coming out, but to be fair the movie handles it very well)! Directed by Clea DuVall, contains Kristen Stewart and Daniel Levy.

Happiest Seasonklok

It had been a whirlwind year for Abigail, starting with a New Year’s party she’d attended on a whim and, at the stroke of midnight, kissing the prettiest girl at the party and exchanged Instagram usernames to stay in touch. Within hours her feed had been flooded with selfies of the two of them, as well as a DM with a phone number and the message, Call me. xoxo Amber ;) From then on, they’d been practically inseparable.

Right away, Amber had been very upfront about having a husband and a kid. Abigail had hesitated over that one, but the kid wasn’t too bad and the husband. . . . Well, meeting him pretty much took care of that. Seth was the kind of guy who thought very highly of himself despite having little reason to do so; he absolutely adored Amber, and somehow managed to be completely unaware that she was in charge. As soon as he started gunning for a threesome Amber told him to cut it out, and he did. Never brought it up again, like the idea had just been highlighted and deleted. It was hard to be bothered about a guy like that.

Amber had taken her everywhere. What started as a one month vacation in Australia turned into three. Abigail’s new partner had Connections, and before she knew what was happening she had a work visa, a short term lease apartment, and producing jobs lined up left and right.

Everything had been wonderful, and while sunbathing in the Australian December rays and talking idly about the difference in seasons and the complete lack of snow, Amber had looked over with a grin, taken her hand, and asked her to come with them back to the States with her and her family to Seth’s parents for Christmas. And Abigail had said yes.

She regretted that now. Because halfway through the flight to Wisconsin on a generously appointed private jet, Seth had turned to Amber and said, “Hey, babe? You remember how I visited my parents for my mom’s birthday back in June and told them about our whole, y’know, open marriage deal?”

Amber turned slowly from playing with the baby and said, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, see, I kiiiiiinda didn’t tell them.”

Immediately Amber looked over at Abigail and mouthed, Crap, I’m sorry.

“‘Cause see, my dad’s runnin’ fer mayor of Tomahawk and there’s all this political bullshit about it, you know how it is. Anyway, it just didn’t seem like a good time, y’know? And there’s this big potential backer coming to the family Christmas party, so it didn’t really seem like the good time to bring that up before we get there . . . but I swear, babe, I’ll tell them as soon as Christmas is over.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “God, fine.”

A few minutes later Seth excused himself to use the bathroom—though it was pretty clear once he gestured for his bodyguard to follow him that he was mostly just using it as a convenient place to do drugs. Melmord followed with a look of friendly yet philosophical boredom, patting his pockets in search of whatever they were skulking off to snort, swallow, or smoke.

Abigail was at Amber’s elbow in a second. “Fine? Are you kidding me?”

“Look,” Amber sighed, “Molly and Calvert are fine. I married their golden boy who they think can do no wrong.” Seeing Abigail gearing up to comment on that, she shook her head. “Don’t ask me why they think that. Honestly their other son, Pickles, is way more successful and definitely the reason Seth got the Dethklok Australia job, but there’s this whole truckload of family history there, it’s a big thing. I don’t like that Seth hasn’t told them yet either, but I’d really rather not put up with bitchy in-laws all Christmas . . . so at this point, it’s better for everyone and just wait.”

“What makes you think Seth is going to tell them after Christmas?” Abigail demanded.

Amber laughed. “Honey please. I’ll make sure he does it, don’t worry about that. But are you going to be okay with this for just a few days?”

Crossing her arms with a huff, Abigail kissed her on the cheek as an answer and sank into an adjacent seat. “I don’t like that he waited until we’re practically there to tell us.”

The baby reached up from the playmat spread out on the floor and patted her knee. “Abi biccy!”

Amber ruffled her child’s tuft of dark red hair. “That’s right, Abi needs a cheer-up biscuit.”

“Choccy,” the baby insisted, and flashed a beatific smile that featured exactly one tooth.

“Ooh, a chocolate biscuit.” Amber winked at her girlfriend. “Aren’t you the favorite today.”

It wasn’t long before the plane began its descent into a town so small that Abigail was surprised they even had a runway. (She wouldn’t have been surprised if Seth had paid for it and then claimed it as a business expense, though.) A limo drove them through snowy fields with the occasional distant shape of houses. Eventually the house-to-snowy-landscape ratio increased until they were in something vaguely resembling suburbs. When they pulled to a stop in front of one house in particular, Seth bounced out of the car with a shout of, “Hey, Mom and Dad, it’s me, Seth! We’re here!”

Abigail hung back, watching Amber go ahead with the baby in one hip while she stood by the trunk of the limo, waiting for Melmord to uncover her single bag while he pulled suitcase after suitcase out and stacked it on a folding trolley.

“Can you fill me in on what to expect here?” she asked while she waited. She didn’t know Melmord particularly well, beyond the fact that that he sounded like a pack a day sort of guy, but she didn’t get the vibe from him that he would bother to either lie or put any particular spin on things.

Melmord shrugged. “Seth can do no wrong, his bro Pickles can do no right, and I’m pretty sure Seth’s parents think your an orphan he’s helping out for charity.”

“Uh. . . . Why?”

Melmord shrugged. “Because that’s what he told them. Don’t,” he added quickly, catching the look on her face, “say you could just kill him for it. I’m contractually obligated to physically attack the source of any threats. Just roll with it, if you try to correct them they’ll just say shit like, ‘Oh, you’re so brave.’” He held out her bag. “Order’s up, in you go.”

Amber took it with a sigh, already regretting the decision to tag along.

It was going to be a long, long weekend.

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse au #12 days of dethmas #ambergail #abigail remeltindtdrinc #amber (metalocalypse)#seth (metalocalypse)#seth's offspring (metalocalypse)#mtl spoof on Happiest Season (2020)

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1041

survey by chasingghosts

What is the age gap between you and your parents? 27 for both. Technically, 26 years with my mom since she had yet to celebrate her birthday when she had me, but she was going to turn 27 all the same. Guh. I can’t believe I’m just five years away from that and I’m still nowhere near building my own family.

How many bathrooms does your house have? Is this enough? Two. I’d say it’s enough. Two people in the family rarely have to go to the bathroom at the same time so it works out for us.

Have you sent a letter to anyone in the past year? Yeah. I used to give Gabie a handwritten letter every Christmas along with her gifts. I still plan on writing her one, but obviously the content will be vastly different now.

Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? I did this with Carley a handful of times; we’d video chat when I came home from school which was around the time she would get ready for school. She was such an extrovert who was so lovely and bubbly around me, and I’ve always felt bad that she had to contend with my shy ass with my mic always muted lol.

Are you hungry or thirsty right now? I’m neither but I can go for a light meal right now, which is great because I got myself a chicken barbecue sandwich and a caramel macchiato from Starbucks as a treat for myself tonight :) I went through five video call meetings just for today alone, went through several breakdowns while at work, and am also on my period, so I thought I deserved a break.

When was the last time you ate something, and what did you eat? Literally just had a bite from my sandwich.

Have you ever seen the film Boondock Saints? Nope. Sounds nothing like my type of film.

Do you own a pair of gumboots? Nah. I don’t like walking in floods anyway, so I don’t plan on getting a pair.

What colour is your favourite mug? Copper.

How far away from your town/city is your state's capital city? I already live in my province’s capital.

Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? I haven’t.

Do you know anyone named Doug? No, not really a common name here.

What cut of jeans is your favourite and why? Do mom jeans count as a cut? I’ve been all over those throughout 2020. They’re stylish and yet so comfy, which are two words that seldom go together.

Do you rate people's attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? Uhhhhhhhh unless a friend asked me to rate someone they know, I don’t really think in these terms.

Name a few of your favourite actors. Kate freaking Winslet. Also Kristen Stewart, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn, Brie Larson, Florence Pugh, and Eddie Redmayne. I’d name Timothée Chalamet but I have yet to see a work of his.

Do you collect anything, or have you ever? The first item I ever collected was notebooks. In my past relationship (is it obvious I’m not over it yet and probably never will be? Ha) I initially liked to collect receipts from places we went to and ate at. I’d also like to be able to grow a collection of wrestling memorabilia, particularly action figures and belts. It’s not really a life goal of mine but it’d still be a cool thing to achieve.

So, how has your week been so far? I mean it’s only Monday, so nothing much. I cried and broke down a lot today which wasn’t a good start, but tomorrow’s a holiday so no work; and for Thursday I was invited to the Christmas party of the department I initially interned at and apparently they’ll be sending over a Christmas kit over to my place so I’m looking forward to these! It’s super touching they remembered and still invited me even though I’m not a part of the team anymore, so I wouldn’t have missed the party for the world.

Is there anything that you could cry about right now? Definitely, and being on my period at the moment makes it so much easier to cry. But I already cried too much and too hard earlier today and it felt exhausting, so I’m trying to avoid it tonight.

How old were you when you learned how to tie your shoelaces? I was five. I probably would’ve made myself learn later but one of our ‘exams’ in kindergarten was to show that you know how to tie your shoelaces, so I had to ask my grandma to give me a crash course.

Have you ever slept in a car overnight? Why did you have to? Yeah. I had to pull several all-nighters in college and work at 24/7 coffee shops, but I usually gave up by around 2-3 AM and would sleep in the car by then.

When was the last time you used Facebook? Earlier this evening, but I couldn’t scroll too much because spoilers for Start Up are everyyyyyyfuckingwhere and I’m still several episodes away from the finale, which aired last night.

Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? Our mails and parcels get sent straight to our door.

Are you interested in entomology? Do you know what that is? Never been. I think it’s great that insects have a lot of capabilities and contributions that we often take for granted; but I personally find a great deal of them icky as well lol so I wouldn’t say I’m interested in this branch.

Have you ever had to claim insurance? What for? Hmm I don’t think so. Not my own nor my parents’. Do you like to listen to albums start-finish without skipping or shuffling? I’ll do this sometimes with my favorite albums, yes. Fuck knows how many times I listened to After Laughter from start to finish with no skips; it was my favorite for a while.

Do you have any unspoken enemies, or maybe frenemies? I’m not the biggest fan of Patrice, but it’s not something I broadcast to people because why would I? I’m sure she slightly does not like me too, so we’re even.

What was the last thing you broke? That would be my last phone charger cord. I’ve since had it replaced though.

Do you have a favourite state/province/territory in your country? Not necessarily an overall favorite but I do have a favorite place I’ve traveled to, which is Sagada. I need a second vacation to see if it still lives up to my expectations and if it would still be able to give me an experience as cathartic and therapeutic as my first trip there, but for the last five years it has sat on the throne.

How many vowels are in your street name? Is this question too mundane? Three. I mean I’ve never been asked this on a survey before, so I wouldn’t call it that.

What are your three top favourite flavours of ice cream? Cookies and cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, coffee.

How far away is the nearest Target? At least a couple thousand miles away.

Do you prefer Target, Kmart or Walmart? Idk and idc.

Have you ever farted in class or somewhere else you shouldn't have? No. I suppress my farts, even when I’m alone haha it’s just my least favorite bodily function.

What's your middle name? Would you change it? I’m not giving it away. I wouldn’t change it and I’m definitely not giving it up even if I get married. I’m keeping my middle name then just hyphenate my surname so that I get to keep all three names.

When was the last tie you wore heels? What was the occasion? September. Job interview for a position I didn’t really want but still chose to undergo because it was still an interview.

Do you find yourself lost for words often? I guess yeah, depression does tend to do that to me.

Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? Yep, I remember sharing the shower with my sister as late as when I was 10. Then puberty happened to me and I did not want to continue the practice anymore, haha.

Have you ever been a member of an online dating site? How did it go? I joined Tinder while I was in a relationship (she made an account as well at the time so it was fair game) literally just to people-watch. I wasn’t interested in cheating; I was just genuinely curious to see how the app worked. I put on a fake name, age, location and my profile photo was of a cat I saw in school so it was impossible to tell it was me.

Do you know what your neighbours even look like? I would not be able to recognize them if you lined them up with a bunch of other strangers, to tell you the truth. I’d probably be able to recognize the carpenters working on the house currently being constructed in front of ours though; they’re super nice and they’re crazy over Cooper haha.

How many siblings does your best friend have? Angela is an only child.

Do you put ketchup on your fries? No. Ketchup does not go anywhere near my fries.

Have you been lucky enough to make out with anyone in the past week? LOL lucky enough...but no, I haven’t done that in a while.

Have your parents ever worked in the agriculture business etc. on a farm? Neither have.

Do you have an ex that makes you angry with literally everything they do? No.

Are you easily susceptible to brain freeze? No but tooth sensitivity, yes. I have a certain tooth that acts up whenever I eat ice cream, and it can get soooo inconvenient and uncomfortable for a few seconds.

#survey #surveys

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immclate · 4 years ago

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✧･ﾟ: * ( cis woman / she/her / kristen stewart ) — welcome to ireyne, [ ZEPHRINE BYRDE ] of [ WALECH ]. when the doom came, you were [ DOOMED ]. at [ TWENTY-NINE ] years of age, your body has changed, and they now call you [ ESCURA ]. the act of [ PERSONAL GUARD 4 HIRE ] suits you; after all, the whispers always said you were [ LION-HEARTED ] but also [ VINDICTIVE ]. you are [ AGAINST ] the doom.

( TRIGGER WARNINGS: DEATH, VIOLENCE, BLOOD )

STAND UP STRAIGHT. don’t let them see you falter -- do not show even a shred of weakness , no traces of fear. don’t smile, either. no one needs to know that you care.

zephrine was born into a very strict household, both of her parents high ranking military officers. being the youngest of three, there was a lot of pressure to follow in her siblings footsteps, who had of course followed in their parents’. it was expected that she would join as soon as she was of age, but zeph was never like the rest of her family. she didn’t share the same sense of duty that seemed to be instilled in her siblings. she dreamed of leaving walech & becoming her own person, separate from the guilt bestowed on her by parents every day that passed that she did not join them.

AS IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

despite having no interest in joining the military, she was still trained to be a warrior from a young age. like her older siblings, her parent’s let her choose a weapon to master. being a little more timid than the rest, she immediately chose a bow and arrow. they warned her that it would take practice and determination to master such a precise weapon, but their doubt only solidified her choice. anything that made her just that much more different than them. by the time she was twelve years old, she could hit her mark without fail, every time. her training gained momentum as she got older, her parents challenging her more and more every day. they began setting her up with moving targets, starting with animals. large and slow to start -- it didn’t take long before she had advanced to small, flying creatures like birds and bats.

after years of excelling at this type of training, she was getting too comfortable. it was all... too safe. she needed to be tested in order to prove that she would one day triumph above her peers. her parents were determined to change her mind, whether they had to force her into their ranks or not. they wouldn’t stand to let their reputation be broken, not now, not ever.

this will show her.

HIT YOUR MARK OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.

zephrine was eighteen when her parents decided that she needed something that would really challenge her. she’d been too used to killing animals, creatures who posed no threat. they used their standing in the military to get ahold of some thieves and traitors who had been captured by their platoon, rotting away in a jail cell just begging to be used for just this. they didn’t tell her what her targets would be, just that it would be life or death. her life or theirs. shoot them or die.

she wasn’t in any position to question their instructions ; she trusted her parents. she couldn’t have imagined they would really put her in harm’s way, not without some kind of back up plan. they were there to protect her, as always, if anything went wrong.... right?

the training grounds had been enclosed by a tall fence, and inside were plenty of large obstacles to hide behind, as well as perches for her to be able shoot from above. they sent her in first, her head spinning with possible scenarios and outcomes, readying herself for the exercise ahead. the young girl had no idea what was coming. what she thought would just be a few predatory animals, like wolves, perhaps even a bear -- turned out to be living, breathing human... targets?

confusion clouded her thoughts with doubt as she lowered her weapon and watched as they scattered around the arena. they each held a different weapon in their clutches ; one with a spear, one with an axe, and one with a---she ducked as an arrow came flying her way all of the sudden, barely missing her head. she felt as if her heart was about to beat right out of her chest as fear coursed through her veins for the first time in a LONG time.

“ FOCUS, ZEPHRINE. THIS IS HOW IT IS OUT IN THE WORLD YOU’RE SO EAGER TO SEE. KILL OR BE KILLED! ”

her father’s voice bellowed from the shadows, hidden in the distance, somewhere she couldn’t see. his presence gave her no sense of peace, especially after what he’d just said. his words echoed in her head over and over: kill or be killed. she took a deep, stabling breath as she pushed all of her fear down, something she’d been taught to do her whole life. she’d never been put into a situation so seemingly dire, but she had to compartmentalize. they’re just targets. you’ve never missed your mark before, you’re not going to start now.

her eyes quickly surveyed the area below her as she ran across the platform she was on, her eyes catching a glint of light reflecting off of someone’s blade. without a second thought, and in one fluid motion, she pulls an arrow from her quiver and lines up the shot, releasing it a split second later. she doesn’t look to see if she hit her mark -- she already knew that she did. she rolled behind a large cart that had been placed in the arena for cover, a place to catch her breath and take in her surroundings. one down -- two to go.

what she didn’t know -- what she couldn’t have known -- was that every time she hit her target, a new one was released into the arena. it didn’t take her long to figure out, of course, as one enemy turned back into two, and two to three, over and over again. just when she thought she’d gotten them all, more came out of nowhere. after twelve of them, she was exhausted ; partly from the energy it took to draw her bow, partly from the constant fear that someone was going to be quicker than her, that her life would be over before it began. she no longer believed that her parents cared whether she made it out alive.

kill or be killed. kill or be killed. kill or be killed.

she drove an arrow through what she hoped to be the last target, she’d lost count at that point, collapsing to her knees as their body dropped with a loud thud. she hadn’t come out unscathed, her body littered with slashes from swords and deep penetrating wounds from stray arrows. her bloodied body had had enough, but despite her exhaustion, she kept her guard up. there was no telling if she was finished. her parents were known to be ruthless commanders. she knew that, but she never imagined that they’d use their tactics against her.

DON’T SHOOT !

just when she thought it was finally over, she heard footsteps approaching rapidly. aha -- they were trying to catch her off guard ! they were moving quickly, but she was quicker. she pulled her last arrow from her quiver, knowing she would have to be precise if she wanted to live. she turned to make the shot, all without realizing that the person coming at her was indeed not a target. she heard loud voices around her--don’t shoot! don’t shoot!--, but it was too late. the arrow was plunged straight into her older sister’s chest. NEVER MISS YOUR MARK.

the look of horror on her face was soon mirrored by zephrine as soon as she realized what she’d done. she caught her before she hit the ground, tears already streaming down her face. all she could do was apologize profusely, over and over, as they were the only words that would come out. what happened after that was a blur -- she knew that her parents had pulled her off of her sister’s body, despite trying to cling to her for dear life. she remembered crying until there were no tears left, falling asleep from exhaustion only to wake up and start all over.

WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO?

zephrine spent an entire year after that refusing to pick up her bow, feeling completely and utterly defeated. how could she have done such a thing? the overwhelming guilt broke something inside of her, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t mend the pieces. her parents took full responsibility, knowing that they had pushed her too far & they shouldn’t have let their other daughter enter the arena. ‘it was irresponsible of us to let this happen.’ she didn’t care -- it was her hands, her arrow, that lead her sister to her dying breath.

----

( ok switching it up to bullet points now thank u for making it this far my dudes )

she left home about a year and half after the incident, not being able to be around her family anymore.

she vowed to never use her bow unless she was protecting herself or someone that she cared about / who needed her help.

throwing herself into the world after little to no experience was a little scary, and often difficult as she struggled to stay fed and rested. she hunted her own food when she could, also trading furs and meat for ale and a warm place to sleep along the way. she adapted to life on her own fairly quickly, preferring the freedom and the lack of pressure.

she lived like this, as a vagabond of sorts, for a few years. her heart softened as she met people who were actually good, instead of ones who claimed to be something they were not (her parents)

she loved visiting and trading with merchants at the marketplace, telling them of her journeys and in turn listening to their troubles and experiences.

after saving someone from some rogue bandits on the road one day, they offered to pay her to escort them on the rest of their journey. she happily obliged, earning a decent amount of coin. their destination was arella, where her companion spread the word of how her bravery made it possible for her to complete her journey. this is how she became a guard for hire, loving the opportunity to keep people safe.

it was easy for a while, escorting simple traders from one town to the next, fending off simple bandits. a lot of the time, not even having to take out her bow. of course, as her reputation grew, her jobs scaled higher. looking out for nobles who were in real danger, ones with prices on their heads simply for being related to someone in power. she took the jobs in stride, even when it became dangerous for her, too.

she’s only failed a select few of her clients, mostly when they undersell the amount of danger they’re really in. she always tells people up front that if she doesn’t have all of the information, she can’t properly protect them. she has to know what she is to protect them from, or else she cannot be prepared. despite it usually being the fault of the client, she takes the losses personally.

CURRENTLY ...

she still works as a guard for hire, quite proficient at it now, although she does struggle because of the what the doom did to her.

being an escura, it takes everything in her not to let the dark thoughts that intrude inside her mind get the better of her. if she can help it, she does not use her magic. sometimes it comes without warning, especially when she gets angry or upset. she uses it to her advantage against STRONG enemies, like that of magical nature.

she’s VERY against the doom, for obvious reasons. she’s tired of fighting within herself, especially because she’s had this battle with darkness too many times before. it would’ve been easy for her to give into it when she was younger, but she has hardened herself in order to remain strong against it.

she tries to use her magic for good, despite it going against her newfound instincts & the nature of the magic she uses.

rumors of necromancy has had her thoughts racing about her sister, contemplating whether she even wants to go down that road. she would love to see her again, to tell her she’s sorry, to have more time with her. she is curious about it, but without someone encouraging to try it, she likely won’t do it herself (hint, hint)

pretty serious most of the time, almost always has her guard up. the only time she’s ever relaxed is when she’s around people that she trusts & knows that she’s not in any immediate danger. keeps her bow close at all times just in case tho.

will defend ANYONE that she sees is in trouble / danger, esp if they are defenseless. she will NOT put up with any kind of shit.

drinks ale when there’s something to celebrate, but usually doesn’t ever get drunk. hates the feeling of not being in control.

pretty easy to get along with, so long as you’re not a complete piece of garbage (i.e. icarius alkdjgAG)

due to her parents behavior when she was younger, she has a bit of a problem with authority. thinks soldiers in the military are basically just brainwashed goons with superiority complexes

DOES NOT TRUST EASILY

but when she does trust you, she is SO loyal and will always have ur back

kind of want her to have a pet wolf ??? is that weird. a hunting buddy. extra protection. warm cuddles in winter. a cute archery themed name like quiver ????

OKAY BEFORE THIS GETS ANY LONGER IM GONNA END IT. i’m sorry this got so ungodly long & if u made it all the way thru .. bless u . i love u. COME PLOT W ME < 3

(but wait there’s more) SHORT LIST of possible connections

CLIENTS !! people who have hired her to guard them at one time or another, whether it be recent or in the past

someone who is/was in the military and know her folks and maybe think she’s wack 4 leaving bc they don’t know the whole story !

a RIDE OR DIE who she met when she left home & knows everything about her & what happened . :)

her OLDER BROTHER ... who i’ll probs put a wanted connection up for but if any of y’all want it . come @ me

HER PARENTS ... lmao same thing as above ^^^

an experienced escura friend who helps her with her powers n sheeeit

A BAD INFLUENCE DOOMED PERSON who leads her astray ~ gets her more into dark magic maybe ~

#thedoomintro #THIS TOOK FAR TOO LONG #it is also .. far too long #im SORRY #tw: death #tw: violence #tw: blood

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cheermeupthankyou · 5 years ago

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Brie Larson vs. The World: A Letter for Humanity

So I’d like to share and say hmmm in terms of adoration mm yeah Chris Evans what a husband material hubba hubba Chris Hemsworth funny dude even Taika Waititi oh Jodie Comer- in lesbians for her Armie Hammer Jake Gyllenhaal oofers eye candy Margaret Qualley mah babies Mackenzie Davis Wynonna Ryder and Kristen Stewart of course all them Marvel girls from A for Angelina Jolie Blanchett Danai Debicki Saldana Evangeline Karen Scarlett etc etc etc to Z for Zendaya Star Wars gang Daisy Felicity Oscar Lupita um yes please all the heroines we love Gal Gadot Amber Heard les cheveux roux madmoiselles Chastain Amy Adams the veterans Patricia Clarke Bullock Paulson Weaver Gillian Anderson Moore Lawless Mirren what goddesses they are even the young’uns newcomers Diana Silvers Billie Lourd Hunter Schafer such gems Thrones crew Gwendoline Emilia Lena Kit Sophie Maisie err pretty much everyone of them yes even the Night King give me the shivurs Aubrey Plaza Anna Kendrick Sarah Carter yas yas yas even some voice actors Ashly Burch Elizabeth Maxwell Hannah Telle j’adore Fab Five queers heck even politicians like AOC or Kamala Harris or Brian Sims gets me giddy wonderful wonderful insanely talented amazing great people.

But

then

there’s

Brie Larson.

I was a music photographer and journalist for a while, I interviewed people and got the chance to meet some renowned humans (Feist, Au Revoir Simone, Kina Grannis, YYYs, Sean Lennon to name a few) it was my job to recognise their backgrounds and learn people’s personalities and identify situations.

While there are so much amazing people that I mentioned above who has done so many great things, I have never seen someone MOST relatable like Brie, so humble and hardworking in the harsh -no privacy- industry of entertainment, who just bases her life out of goodness and excitement of life and purity. She’s like most of us, she’s awkward and shy, loves pets, video games, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, fan girls towards other celebs, music nerd and an actual nerd, and just loving life in general.

So it does break my heart that people are targeting her as the subject of everything that’s negative just because she wanted to set a stigma that women can be powerful and is their own person, and she’s had it rough before (as I read/listened/watched her interviews) Here’s a narrowed down of her life:

- Her parents were constantly fighting when she was young, leaving her into a broken home, around 7 years old she moved to LA living in a studio apartment with her mom and sister with the 3 of them with only 1 murphy bed. She’s estranged with her dad until now.

- She’s definitely an introvert, type of girl who sits on the far upper left or right corner in the theatre thinking that she doesn’t block anyone’s view (she actually said this on an interview), had social anxiety attacks since she was young but she knows she loves acting and wants to entertain people, starting with singing in her early years. She prefers doing stuffs alone and creating arts just to keep her mind at ease.

- Because of her passion in acting and her social condition, she was home schooled and focused in acting schools more, thankfully her mother supported her to go to acting schools and just going on auditions. Her singing career didn’t go as much as she hoped, to make ends meet she started DJ-ing just to earn money. Keep in mind Brie did not come from a prestige family with access to Hollywood unlike some of her Marvel co-stars. She started from zero.

- She actually auditioned for Twilight and was told, “Don’t ever bring Brie Larson back here again” for whatever reason. Was also told she wasn’t “sexy enough” for some stuffs she auditioned.

- Even though she loves acting, knowing she’s an introvert, it is the only reason why Brie has never considered blockbuster movies because she was afraid of getting recognised worldwide that it would leave her having no privacy at life at all. Due to this, she accepted mostly indie movies (Most recognisably Short Term 12 or The Glass Castle) but even by doing indie movies she didn’t earn enough money that sometimes she would cry in her kitchen telling her mom that she doesn’t have any money just to buy food.

- She did the movie Room which won her first Oscar for best actress, but in the process in doing so it broke her in half because of her childhood past and trauma. Whilst doing The Glass Castle she also said it was rather personal that she played a character with a broken relationship with a father (Played by Woody Harrelson) is because she never had father-daughter relationship. All the stuffs she did were mostly personal because she felt connected to them. Even Captain Marvel, because she felt that it was a moment in her life where she needs the change to be stronger for herself and Carol has changed her for that.

- Her road into becoming Captain Marvel was almost like a brick to brick road built up for her, as she has acted in movies with most of the Marvel casts. In 13 Going On 30 with Mark Ruffalo, with Chris Evans in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon, Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson in Kong: Skull Island and Joe and Anthony Russo in Community. A few reasons she accepted the role of Captain Marvel; One being when she saw Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, she admitted that even as the movie was just about a few minutes in, she couldn’t stop crying and she asks herself as to why that is, and she realised that this is the stuff I need, we don’t have this enough, where a powerful strong woman was depicted on screen; The other, for the most realistic reason that she did need the money while she was given the opportunity; The SIMPLEST reason is just to MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY that the character is going to be brought to life; The MOST important of them all is that she wants to break the barrier of herself. She wants to be more out there, spreading positivity and setting an example to people to be stronger for themselves, that people can change for the better, in which in this case: Brie was a completely non athletic person with asthma, she trained for 9 months, almost 3-5 hours a day for 5 days a week at the gym with constant crying because of her hard work and changes to herself, vomited mostly at the gym and also puked during her pilot training. She had bruises all over the place because she did most of her stunts and training (Per her saying, it was ignorance at first because she thought everyone on Marvel was doing their own stunts when they’re not, but she did most of them herself that she was allowed to).

- Now that she has recognition, she’s actually doing more activism and be a spokeswoman into helping people. She even promotes people’s brand and stuffs via her Instagram just to help out simple things.

Please remember, she’s human. She has flaws, but I have never seen her doing/saying anything fatal that depicts resent. Never. And no, Brie is not the first female ever trying to set examples for people, but she is the current one getting the most hate for it just because of Captain Marvel— a film about a female superhero, setting an example for people to be stronger, she did it just to make people happy and half the world is angry at her. WTF. Believe it or not, this is girl actually CARES about people, she would care about you if you actually DO CARE about all the good things that does matter. Being of who she is, Brie is capable of empathising with people, which is something most people don’t have.

Brie wanted to be a better person, SHE DID. When in fact Brie has successfully done that, now people are hating her even more because she’s just a “bigger easier target” because of her role and apparently it is easier to hate someone else than just to be nice or appreciative or grateful in general.

If you’re reading and you’re hating, can I just ask, what has Brie Larson done to your life? And maybe ask yourself what have you done that matters in your life? We can just be nicer to other people, it’s really not that hard to try, you know. Life is just about being kind to each other, there is no point in throwing hate because it’s not your cup of tea, having an opinion to your taste is fine, but giving hate comments about is just being an asshole. Imagine being in her shoes and dealing with all those that wasn’t necessary in the first place. It does take mentality of the size of the Jupiter with that amount of hate, and Brie Larson is still dealing them. Just think if that was you, could you be able to handle it as far as what she’s gone though? Really think about it. Not one human in the world wants to be hated for even the smallest reason, not even you.

As to those who feel like they wanted a change in their lives, if Brie can do it, SO CAN YOU. Stay calm, just be nice and kind to others— even to those who treated you unjustly. Let the action speaks louder than any words will ever do. And be happy of life.

My adoration for her is at the apex at the moment. She is IT.

So I’m just here spreading the love for Brie.

#brie larson

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brian1916 · 4 years ago

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Twilight

Here I sit and I never saw the Twilight series until a month ago. Now, being old school I thought vampires were living in coffins and only came out at night. Now, they are hanging around in the daylight, okay cloudy days but days nonetheless. Of course they don’t get any older than when they were bitten, so if you were 43 you stayed 43 for the next million years, unless you pissed off the CEO of their union. I guess they aren’t independent there is a higher organization. No independent groups. The clans as they are called can do their thing, I think it was clan, who gives a shit. It’s not coven as those are witches. Maybe it’s gaggle, no those are geese or ducks. This clan and I guess there are a few of them are semi-independent within reason. I guess you can’t tell your neighbors your clan is made up of vampires because non-vampires can’t now about you.

The story centers around two. One is a young girl who is not a vampire and a young fellow who is a vampire and they fall in love. Bella Swan character who is played by Ms. Kristen Stewart is obversely not a vampire and Edward Cullen played by Mr. Robert Pattinson is. Bella wants to become a vampire and Edward who has a hard on for Bella doesn’t want her to become one. Oh, did I mention the werewolves. What’s freaking movie without wolves. This one particular wolf also has a hard on for Bella, is Jacob Black played by Taylor Lautner. Okay now we have a triangle.

What it boils down to and there are four long series of Bella, Edward and Jake in love. Naturally Bella and Edward get married while Bella is still human and they fuck like rabbits and produce an offspring. During the birthing Bella dies, not so fast. All the vampires think she is dead, gone, took a powder. Although, Ed did bite the living shit out of her, trying to make her a vampire nothing worked. However, a while later Bella comes out of her deep sleep as a newborn vampire and things look like happy ever after ending, not so. The offspring is seen by another vampire with a hair across her ass and informs the union boss.

Now the union boss gets his staff together and heads to the Cullen clans home to kill everyone even though they are already dead meat. You tear their heads off and light them on fire ends their existence, permanently. The kid is growing leaps and bounds and will stop growing in seven years as half human and half vampire, she will be 18 or so. Did I mention the wolf has taken an interest in the child and when she gets to be 18 they can get married and do the horizontal mambo as well. Something about putting a claim on her or some such shit. Okay, the Cullens dig up some old friends to help them out. Long story short. The union boss is happy at what he finds and goes back to Italy I mean where else would you find a vampire union boss. The reason he was involved was because the broad who squealed fucked up. The child wasn’t a straight little vampire which is a no no. She was a mixed bag.

It was an interesting series during a pandemic as you watched everything under the sun or moon. The time frame is 2009 to 2012 or around there this was made. Now there are walk on water blogs devoting themselves to the Twilight series who think the two or three main actors can do no wrong up and running. Then there was the off the stage of Kristen & Rob romance that lasted a few years as they were living together and making house. Until she blew it with some director and Rob is selling the house or sold the love nest. I guess it was in the tabloids but who reads that trash. I guess you can make up your own minds whether they walk on water.

The Blogs you can’t disagree with the folks running them it has to be they always walk on water. Just in case you happened to follow one. I know.

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 5 years ago

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Charlie’s Angels (2019)

You may have heard some kerfuffle about this movie grossly underperforming at the box office, and writer/director/actor Elizabeth Banks blaming this on men not going to see female-led action movies and then men who DO go see female-led action movies firing back by saying this just didn’t look like a very GOOD female-led action movie. Blah blah blah outrage news cycle. I was already on board to see this from the moment I saw Kristen Stewart just like, existing (what? She’s like the patron saint of my people. I’m only a human queer woman, guys, I can’t help it). So was this an unfortunate “get woke, go broke” mess or an unfairly maligned feminist wave that we should all be riding? Well...

Eh, somewhere in the middle. There are certainly glimmers of brilliance that I appreciated and didn’t feel pandering, but felt more like moments that only happen in movies or television when someone new gets a seat at the table and is allowed to share their perspective. But this is no feminist war cry, a la Mad Max: Fury Road, and will go down in history as a fairly forgettable rehash of a story we’ve seen before.

Plot summary (not that you really need one) - Jane (Ella Balinska) and Sabina (Kristen Stewart) are both agents working for the Townsend Agency, a private group of lady spies who have all been brought together by the mysterious Charlie and who have handlers designated Bosley. One of the Bosleys, Patrick Stewart, is retiring, but is pulled back into the fold when a mole in the operation tries to sabotage the latest mission - protecting Elena (Naomi Scott), a whistleblower at a prominent energy company whose latest invention has the potential to be weaponized. Jane and Sabina are tasked with stealing the invention, protecting Elena, and figuring out who the mole is before it’s too late! This is all basically an excuse for them to travel to exotic locales, wear lots of fabulous clothes and less fabulous wigs, and for queer women to lust after KStew being a winking club girl, a jockey, a tennis instructor, and an all-around disaster gay.

Some thoughts:

I never saw the early 2000s movies (part 1 or 2) but they were very formative for me because I did a school presentation in 8th grade that was a song about the rock cycle set to the tune of Destiny’s Child’s “Independent Women Part 1″ so. That’s about as deep as my relationship to Charlie’s Angels goes.

Maybe this is extremely petty of me, but Elena’s shitty boss, Peter Fleming, (Nat Faxon) has some of the worst teeth I’ve ever seen in a Hollywood movie. And I’m not saying that to be mean, just - I took a look at his IMDB, and he’s a character actor who’s done a lot of TV work, lots of comedy, lots of voice stuff. It looks like he’s been working steadily since 2002 at least, and I just...fix your teeth dude! I cannot even IMAGINE a world in which a woman in Hollywood could hope to get consistent, steady work with teeth like that. And that’s how you know the patriarchy is real, y’all.

Elena is so brave to be a whistleblower. The world needs more whistleblowers.

Everything KStew wears is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I think watching this movie might be the gayest 2 hours of my life, and I’m including the day I literally got married to a woman.

I can honestly say it made me emotional to see international deals being brokered not for guns or money, but for birth control pills and tampons. Just showing the importance of access to reproductive health care for women (and trans men and nb folks) is a detail I would never expect in a big budget action movie, and it was one of those moments that would never have occurred onscreen if this movie wasn’t written, produced, directed, and all around made by and for women.

Jane having an emotional breakdown is so important. So frequently, women of color, especially black women, are portrayed as hard, unfeeling, and incapable of feeling pain in order to be perceived as Strong Female CharactersTM. But that feeds into a long and racist history of minimizing black people’s pain in order to excuse abusing and oppressing them. It’s not often that you get to see a black female character like Jane who is competent, smart, physically strong and intimidating, who is also allowed to be emotionally vulnerable and show real sadness and fear and intimacy. This moment honestly shocked me in the best way and was one of the biggest highlights of the film (and it’s another one I’m not sure would have existed without being a film created and executed by women).

One of the highlights of the movie is the villains - each of them that get revealed are having a great deal of fun and brining a lot of life to their characters in different, unique ways. I have to say this is the most fun I’ve had watching bad guys be bad guys in recent memory.

In spite of the catastrophic Macguffin at the center of all the action, the final act feels underwhelming and like the stakes are very small. The script does everything it can to make the conflict feel personal, but I dunno, the entire final showdown just left me feeling a bit cold and distracted.

Did I Cry? No, there’s not quite enough heart at the core of this to really tug on my easily activated cry reflex.

Overall, I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse. The characters are fun and distinct, and the three main Angels are certainly having a rollicking good time, so that’s always fun to watch. But the script is kinda weak, and the jet-setting all feels rather ho-hum. If you prefer your badass lady spies WITHOUT a heaping helping of gross male gaze, this is certainly the right film for you! But when it comes to actually destroying the patriarchy, it all feels a little bubblegum to me.

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#119in2019 #charlie's angels 2019 #charlie's angels 2019 review #kristen stewart #elizabeth banks #naomi scott #ella balinska #patrick stewart #nat faxon #movie reviews #film reviews

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