#if it seems like im overreacting to the video

[danlous]

AMC discarded season 2 like a piece of trash and suddenly has knows how to market this show but iwtv fans will still try to gaslight me & others about their particular motives. 🆗️!!!! No wonder this fandom behaves like the real show is finally starting when the network does too but then I get told im overreacting or bitter 🙃

I was actually just going to make a post about this. I wouldn't go as far as saying amc is discarding s2 like a piece of trash but especially now after they released that lyric video i'm starting to feel there's a very noticeable difference in the marketing between two previous seasons and how the marketing for s3 has started (before they've even finished writing!) Some people cynically predicted in the past that a shift like this would happen when the narrative focus shifts on a white character and it sadly kind of seems they may have been right. It COULD be coincidental like if they're finally listening to people's complaints about bad and lacklustre marketing and how it's limiting their show's potential, or because iwtv is much bigger now than it was even compared to earlier this year and they've probably gotten a bigger marketing budget when amc's confidence in the show's potential has grown. But it's very suspicious that this increase of confidence and realization that their show could be a megahit they should invest in accordingly is happening right at the same time the story shifts to focus on Lestat. I don't subscribe to the idea that amc ever tried to intentionally make the show fail because it would make zero sense financially, but i get an impression they perhaps didn't trust that the first two seasons would have broad mainstream appeal, but now they trust s3 to have that.

I'm still excited for s3 but it's incredibly frustrating to see this difference compared to how s1-2 were treated, when the show's success is very much based on those seasons and their black lead. Like this show has grown its popularity slowly and organically despite weak marketing simply because of how good it and its cast is. And now when it seems to be about to hit the zeitgeist, the network decides that it's time to give full effort when the show is going to focus more on a white man. Anyone who's saying you're overreacting or bitter when pointing that out has not paid attention to how the entertainment industry works because this isn't new or unusual, and there isn't a reason to assume amc is any different than almost all the other networks and studios

[redbuddi]

hi sorry but I will never play into any hints of a parasocial relationship with any of you. Im very happy and appreciative that there are people out there who support me and the stuff I make, but that's where the relationship stays. I know that this seems like a bit of an overreaction, but like. When I was a youtuber ppl drew hentai of me. It was disgusting. One time my actual real mother appeared on a video and I knew, I just knew those people wouldn't be able to help themselves, so I purposely gave her a character design that looked nothing like how she actually looked. And I was right, less then 24 hours later someone posted hentai featuring the character representing me and the character representing my actual real life mother. Behavior like this is part of why that part of my life was so traumatic for me, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that kind of shit never happens to me again.

You don't know me. I am not your friend. And while I am happy for your support, I will not accept it if it means you get the idea that we will ever have any kind of relationship, nor will I just sit back and accept people behaving like I'm not a real person. Go outside, get some perspective, and think before you attach feelings to people you've never even met.

[herejusttosufferalong]

If we look at the whole situation between Nic and Luke through the lens that Luke and A have been in a proper relationship (not casual) at least since Nov 2023, I think it would be easier for us to accept whatever happened during the promo.

I was thinking about the relationship between A and L. We as a fandom tend to dismiss it as nothing. But after the latest Italy videos I don't think we can dismiss it as nothing at all. Of course its not as intense as what he had with Jade or Sophie. But it is still a relationship which he is invested in. He doesn't seem head over heels or extra tender with her. But he still seems to care for her. Maybe we can compare it to the Colin and Marina situation.

So Luke was in a relationship with Jade and he still caught feelings for Nic during S3. He broke up with Jade, of course Nic didn't want to pursue anything so they part ways. Luke starts dating and gets into a relationship with A in Nov 2023. Promo starts in January 2024, and probably because his relationship is new and the possibility of some flirting to up the PR with Nic he/his team decided to say he was single ( I don't think Shondaland/NF would have requested this, it must have been his decision). I mean I can understand the thought process behind this, the relationship is new, Im going to promote a romantic show, I have good chemistry with my co-star, why not utilise it. But I think this is the biggest mistake he made.

But then shit hit the fan. His feelings resurfaced and he was not capable to control it in public. I have a feeling he actually wasn't aware how in love he looked with Nic. His comment about "We can't do anything" during the London premier shows how unaware he was about his actions. He probably thought fans were overreacting.

Anyway, he is still going strong with his relationship with A, probably talking everyday, texting etc even while on tour. Of course A is insecure, who wouldn't? Cue in-style stunt, A's games. Of course he is a boyfriend and feels guilty. I read somewhere, when Jade and S3 shooting overlapped, it looked like he was overcompensating with Jade whenever there were intimate scenes with Nic. This kind of explains his hot and cold behaviour in the tour. And A probably wanted some kind of acknowledgement so the pap walk was planned to keep it a bit ambiguous, probably why he was reluctant to hold hands. He probably wanted to slowly launch A. Fans did react more than he expected. So this is why he pulled back from SM because he was getting attacked whatever he did. And I think this why he has banned A from posting him, to not further antagonise fans. However he still continues his relationship with A, goes to GQ heroes with her, goes to Italy etc. I think he wants to see this relationship through as much as he can. He cant let all his relationships go in flames because he loves Nic. But if his 4 year relationship with Jade couldn't stand the pressure and pull of what he has with Nic so I don't think the A situation stands a chance. Its only a matter of time.

I guess my whole point is that if we accept his relationship with A as legit and give the same respect we gave to his relationship with Jade, we will not be having whiplash or angst. We will actually respect and aplaud him for actually giving his best to his gf, for not dropping her like trash, for his determination to see it through despite the pressure and hit for his reputation. This totally goes with how he is being described by his co-stars, Nic, and how we saw him before with Jade. Whatever we like to think, A was his gf, and if she was our friend, would we want her dropped off like nothing the moment he saw a colleague?

.

[vmpenvi]

general dir en rant LOL

im not fully enraged or anything, this is more-so a general statement but i genuinely dont understand how people dont find AI art void of anything, soulless, and unsettling in all the wrong ways. it just disturbs me so deeply beyond the matter ethics… i don’t know why

(rambly rant incoming)

anyway, i’m just throwing my thoughts out into the void of tumblr because yolo. i think some people are definitely overreacting, and maybe im an optimist but i dont think them using AI elements in a music video means that they will never hire real artists ever again etc. that being said while i’m sure this was done as something new to experiment with (it seems japan is very pro-AI for some reason too) i’m just as certain that management was kicking their feet at the idea of not having to pay an artist. I don’t think the band is responsible for that, but also ofc it’s not like the idea didn’t get run through them. it’s not like they are complete puppets to their management.

some of the stuff i’ve seen of people defending them is so wild tho. i’m not gonna bother repeating the dumb shit i’ve read but these arguments are all stupid and genuinely not even worth arguing over anyway.

weirdly, i’m not as angry as i think i maybe should be over this. i think it’s because honestly i figured it was only a matter of time. i remembered reading kaoru’s interest in it so idk. idk! its still pretty lame tho imo.

to me its similar maybe to how ppl look at practical effects vs cg. like isn’t stuff made by real people just so much cooler?? oh well.

[oraclemoontarot]

ahh ur cool to chat with.

im sure kpop has set ways but lately im uncertain as to what they are aiming for... loved enhypens recent comeback it was so cool, did u see it yet? but again theyre an other group I can only really like and its so strange to me when theres teens who r obviously much younger than myself overly obsessing and being possesive over the idols bc i had exactly the same stance about western bgs during the 00s. now im kind of just enjoying them for the music and dont feel the need to deeply obsess over every detail but tarot blogs r so fun to ask qs and find out stuff we couldnt find out about one direction etc etc. it honestly seems so long ago the 00s and its weird bc when u find a new group and theyre so young i have to check difference in age gaps nowadays (lowkey wish there wasnt an age concept at all in society bc then it wouldnt matter). but ngl it is so awkward, like even seeing how ppl nowadays still flock to harry styles home town (yes also did that myself). yet kpop in general has so many cool themes and vast difference in terms of performance styles as well.

ik its only awkward if u make it awkward but ppl kinda take obsessing abt idols way too far. yet we have all been thru that phase so i get it but kpop stans seem next level crazy sometimes in a good way sometimes in a bad way, i also dont get how such delusional obsessions can lead to building closer relationship with said idol like u aint just going to make friends if ur crying over them in front of them yaknow? and other stuff like going to their hotels or following them whilst theyre out in their downtime. i dont think theres ever just been a non crazy time for idols at all. i cant imagine what their dorm rooms must be like cause I bet they all been doing other adult / human things lmfao. yet the way their fans overreact to mere dating rumors is ridiculous atp. or say for instance idols future spouses as well is the topic that seem to get ppl most riled up when it comes to thee sorts of readings. lowkey sometimes i ask why do i need to know but i ask anyway bc why the fuck not then i think its childish of me lol

aw tyy so are you!! I haven't watched their mv or listened to their album yet (if it wasn't a single), but I heard parts of it online and it does sound real good, I used to be an engene so maybe it's a sign to listen to this comeback.

no I get you so much here especially. Being a fan(girl) is so so much fun, you get to watch content, listen to music, learn about the members, go to concerts, collect merch, and meet other fans. There's a whole culture and community around it that, when you first get into kpop, it's so exciting. It's unsurprising people would get obsessed at first.

But yeah, I personally get really excited watching their content or over an idol (ahem haechan) when on my own, but whenever I meet them in person it's like all that excitement disappears and I'm like, 'oh, they're just a guy/person...', and it's really chill. I don't at all know how people think following them around, partaking in every single fancall, and getting overly excited and emotional would lead to them getting close with them.

You know, I think this obsessiveness dies down as we mature/get older. It's like we have other things to focus on, we become more grounded with less free time, and distance ourselves a little more.

Please, just imagining they're probably lying in bed scrolling through videos etc. while at home is kinda funny. They likely do what we do anyway as they're people at the end of the day, it kind of makes you see them more... normally?

We're alike haha. Yeah it's fun, especially with ideal type readings etc. but then you take a step back and think, am I doing too much? 😭

[wishful-seeker]

I've noticed when i get bored, its not normal boredom anymore, it makes me feel trapped and suffocated. When i run out of things i want to do, or, the more likely option, i want to do things but physically cannot do to my illness, i often get so depressed i just don't really want to exist at all. I know this might seem like an overreaction, but i cannot begin to express the trauma of being in so much physical pain you cannot move without severe pain for weeks. I cannot express how lonely and horrific it is to lay in bed all day either looking at my ceiling or some mind-numbing youtube video for months, YEARS, because thats all i can physically do. To literally watch my life go by and pass me, to see people my age worrying about jobs and college while i wonder if I'll ever ride my bike again. While i wonder when the next time i can see the sun not through a window. It was so isolating to hear people worry about things that felt meaningless to me, and when i talk about mine its a worry they've never even wondered about having. To be in a position where my lifes dream was to run again, next to others with dreams like becoming a writer or businessman. I can't begin to explain the trauma that left behind. I was so desperate and alone and scared. No one knew what was happening to me or how to help me, and NO ONE was suffering like i was suffering. I was completely alone.

So now, when i get just a pinch of those years sprinkled in my day i freak out. Its not just boredom, its a reminder that i could go back to that time, and there is nothing i can do to change that. To know that pain and loneliness is not only possible, but that i will probably experience it much more in my lifetime, is very triggering. Any reminder of the days when i couldn't even pick up a spoon sends me into a spiral, because i made it out of that and im terrified to go back.

Any other chronically ill people feel this way?

This is only about physical disability, do not derail

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

ok so i want to Vent for a sec if its ok bc it seems like you give the best advice on this app :)

Ok so basically I have this "friend" that I have been close with for over a year now but I don't know if she is a good person anymore because all she has done is push my other friends away and act like a pick me next to boys,here is an example of what im talking abt .

So basically I had had a crush on this one guy for almost 2 years and she knew this but at the time we had had an argument and she went on to shit talk behind my back to my crush on abt how bad of a person I was and after we made up she told me how he had called me a baboon (which he apparently called everyone but she somehow forgot to mention that) and I said to her quote"I don't want a friend like that"and she went on to tell him how I never liked him as a friend and he hated me for like 2-3 months until I said sorry for doing nothing ... Pluss she always talks abt how he likes her but she doesn't like him even though she knows ive liked the guy for so long . She also acts very and I mean VERY dumb next to boys but when they're gone she's suddenly miss know it all???

Another thing happened where a video of her was posted on another group snapchat of her shit talking people and when people confronted her she blamed me on taking the video (even though I literally didn't even know that video existed)and cried so all of my friends hated me for being a snake ... Even though I did nothing

But she always apologizes and I forgive her each and every time even though she immediately leaves my side for another friend but still forces me to hang out with only her knowing I can't say no .tbh I don't know what to do anymore bc she ruined countless of my friendships

Please please give me some advice . Love you btw I hope your having a great day and im sorry for venting but I just had to bc if I do to other people they say im over reacting or that I should just be mature and suck it up....

I gotchu bestie 💕

I have been in your shoes before and it's so draining having friends like that honestly. The only advice I can give you in this situation is to cut her off before things get worse. Tell her you don't want to be friends anymore, and then block her on every social media app, including her phone number. It seems like an overreaction, but trust me, just deleting won't cut it.

Tell your other friends you've ended the friendship with her and ask them not to tell her anything about you. And if she tries to contact you after you've done all this, keep track of everything. I'm talking screenshots. But do not engage.

Just keep your distance, and move on with your life. It'll be difficult, I know that from personal experience. I've lost friends I had for 10 years, 13 years, and 16 years. But in the long run, you will be happier.

And remember I am always here. We're besties and you will always have me 💕

[filenameghost]

people who support cringe culture and make fun of ppl for harmless things are so pathetic, they're awful people and i hope they all get what's coming to them.

vent below !!

my tiktok acc that i post cosplay content to and had just reached 1.5k followers on is currently banned bc someone reported me for being under the minimum age - 13. I am a whole adult.

my content was getting a lot of negative attention due to a video i posted in 2020 where i said "poggers" recently blowing up for some reason. i hate the idea that these people have gotten what they wanted, they've hurt me. i am genuinely crushed and absolutely terrified at the idea of losing the content i've put hours of work into. is this their sick form of justice? do people honestly think this is deserved? do they really think i deserve to be sobbing my eyes out so badly im on the edge of being physically sick? do they think it's fair ive been going in and out of a dissociative state for the past four hours while begging myself to just wake up from this nightmare? all because i said a word? it wasn't even a slur - hell, it wasn't even a swear word!

it might seem like an overreaction to just the chance of losing a tiktok account, but making these videos and cosplaying has been such a large passion of mine for half a decade. it lets me express myself through music and style, it lets me show off my cosplays and my acting skills, it lets me relate music to the characters i cosplay and be able to show others that.

the fact people are so cruel and unempathetic that they're willing to get someone's account banned just because that person did something "cringe" is so heartbreaking. i don't deserve this, it's not fair at all. and they're not going to face any consequences! i might have to start from scratch, i might lose hundreds of videos i spent even more hundreds of hours on, i might lose 1.5k followers. tiktok is such a hard app to get followers and reach on, it's taken me 3 years to get to 1.5k, and now i might have to start all over? honestly, if i'm unable to recover my account, i might stop creating content on tiktok at all. how could i be able to film and post while knowing i'd lost 3 years of work? i'm so fucking scared.

[figula]

ranting about the site i work for (look away boops)

tbh the work im paid for is fine, it's the stuff im not paid for that drives me nuts, mostly the discord, which i hate

there's this constant balance that needs to be struck between not overreacting to 13yo boys being edgelords (bc a reaction is what they want) + not allowing the server to become a cesspit of 13yo boys being edgelords, and after 4y doing this i struggle to tell where the line is. i think banning too soon is a bad idea bc of the fact that at least the mods of the server are all pretty progressive + willing to argue with anyone who fex starts talking about how good andrew tate is, and removing the young boys from this kind of environment seems counter-productive if the goal is to at least partially influence them to be good men. and i think most people go through an edge phase or similar in their teens, and reacting to this with contempt + fury seems ... again, counterproductive? does shaming anyone for stupid jokes actually work? (depending on what the level of edge is - there's "edge" and there's "edge" you know. like yesterday someone posted a lovely video of the human aftermath of a grenade, with all the gore and viscera that that implies, and i obviously didn't waste any time wringing my hands over banning that one)

the above is also why i struggle to tell where the line is bc i have seen so much horrific shit over the past few years (up to and including literal CP that i had to report to legal) that my "normal" line has been moved quite far in the wrong direction. like once you see CP shared on the site you work for i promise you that you will be a changed person, there's absolutely no going back after that

but then i also think the current situation is so bad that i personally would prefer stricter guidelines, but none of the other mods agree w/ me so like there's really nothing i can do about that, like i cant just do what i want unfortunately

it just feels like there's absolutely no winning? like im either too much of an SJW or im not enough of an SJW depending on who you ask and im just like: oh my god lmfao it's exhausting. like i've been called both a raging feminist etc etc + someone contributing to the sexist environment of chess on the same server!! one of my best friends and one of the mods who actually takes the time to speak calmly and sensibly to anyone spouting nonsense (id rather just ban them but u know i respect his effort) quit the server yesterday bc he just cannot deal w/ it anymore + i fully understand but i wish he was still there for my own selfish reasons

[dragoninahumancostume]

It bothers me so much when a youtuber that I generally like does something that's really not THAT harmful but it surely bothers me. Like Film Cooper calmly calls people narcissists just because they're bad people, like come on man, you're right about plenty of things and seem nice, you should know you shouldn't call people narcissistic just because they're bad, like I'm also not one to talk bc afaik I don't have narcissistic disorder so I obviously CAN'T speak in their behalf but it bothers me that he does that

And Bailey (you know the girl with the billionaire boyfriend joke videos) has done collabs with Steven He, which has done collabs with Jeenie Weenie (and Ian Boggs also has done collabs with Jeenie so I stopped watching him), who does videos showing her baby and has done the typical "'did you just assume my gender?!' -said by every Gen Z" joke, which not so bad ig could be worse and I'm probably overreacting but it bothers me because it's one of her most popular videos and it's hard not to see if you look through it a bit so they clearly don't care about it and I'm probably too sensitive ig and

Yeah im probably overreacting aren't I?

[fenhonig]

hey so im salty.

i saw something on reddit today that reminded me of why i feel such anger towards beauty standards. it was a video of a little girl, she couldnt have been over 5 or 6 years old, and she had a birthmark on her face. the skin right above her nose on her forehead was darker and wrinkled. nothing wrong so far, right?

here's the funny part. in the video, it shows this child before and after getting the birthmark surgically removed, which sounds fine on the surface right? even positive?

i cannot tell you how fucking angry it makes me. this kid, this CHILD, had her parents decide that her birthmark was something WRONG with her. they decided FOR HER to have it removed. it boils my fucking blood that her PARENTS, people who are supposed to LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY, saw this unique part of their child and decided that it was something that had to be removed. this kid is going to grow up knowing that this mark was something that was seen as a flaw. and that fucking hurts me.

it doesnt even seem like a big deal at first until you realize that this logic doesnt JUST apply to people with noticable birthmarks. you wanna know who also regularly get their bodies surgically altered at extremely young ages for aesthetic reasons even though there's nothing that would pose a threat to their health? intersex babies. not enough for you? how about babies born with certain deformities that, on their own, pose no threat to their health? do you think its ok to just decide that these children arent aesthetically appealing enough? to just decide for them to make a life-changing surgery happen?

and dont even come to me with the "well some conditions require surgical intervention" because thats not what im fucking talking about. im talking about people who are perfectly healthy, theres nothing about their unique condition that poses a threat to their health, but because that condition is seen as "weird" or "gross", they have their bodies permanently altered without any fucking say in it.

why do we teach these kids that there was something "wrong" that had to be "corrected" for them? why do we refuse to teach other kids that these differences arent a bad thing? why do CHILDREN, LITERAL FUCKING CHILDREN, have to be aesthetically pleasing for their parents to love them? you cant "love your child unconditionally" and then decide that one of their traits is just so unappealing that you decide to remove it for them. you dont love them unconditionally. you love them when they look normal to you.

i dont even care if it looks like im overreacting because this shit can, will, and already has hurt people. imagine growing up and knowing that your parents got rid of a trait that only you had JUST to make you look more pretty. more presentable. it didnt matter to your parents how you would feel afterwards when you could comprehend what had happened, all that mattered to them is that you looked appealing. that you looked correct. that you looked normal.

imagine being at that age and then realizing years later that you didnt look pretty enough for your parents to fully accept you. thats disgusting, absolutely fucking disgusting. children shouldnt be taught that certain traits make you have something wrong with you. instead of teaching kids to accept people and themselves as they are, parents teach their kids that they and other kids have to look normal to be accepted. they dont say it, but thats exactly what they teach.

people shouldnt have to fit into a certain box just to be seen as worthwhile. i dont even think that teaching kids that people outside the box matter too is good enough. we should teach kids that there shouldnt be a box in the first place.

you shouldnt have to look any sort of way to receive acceptance and love. you shouldnt have to BE any sort of way to receive acceptance and love. you're worthwhile. the way you were born shouldnt determine your worth, your actions should. some people arent worth the time, i will admit, but the people who are written off just for being born different deserve so much more.

if you're someone who is hated, seen as gross, seen as disgusting or seen as weird for something out of your control, remember that it isnt you who should take the blame. your own behavior, actions, views, they are what matters. anyone who targets you for something you couldnt control? fuck em.

that is my ramble, im extremely tired, please love yourself. and if you cant then love the people like you, maybe that will help.

[theslyvoid9]

Oh god im just...thinking about Jimmy, like everyone bullies him and he usually playfully obviously overreacts to it in a offended matter but i feel like as everyone else gets more geniuen in the insults he also gets more geniuen in being offended, but like its jimmy hes always like this so like no one notices how far gone he actually is.

I feel like bc of that someone says sth mean, maybe scott tried to come by to get jim to go with him instead of staying with scars group (again him and his god complex needing some ally to feel superiour too now that grian, who was clearly just working with bigb and waiting for the moment to kill him, is dead) but his convincing is just belittling jim and trying get into his stupid head that he NEEDS scott to keep him alive, but it just completely sets jim off, like fully shouting and maybe even like truly trying to beat the shit out of scott, he fails miserably but he just runs off. They dont find him again after that, no one knows what happened to him.

Scott would use this to get even more hostile towards scars group bc "how didnt you guys notice how far gone he was???" while the others blame Scott for pushing jim over the edge and on purpose trying to divide them while they clearly have a better chance together.

This would fully just make Lizzie also just pull away from both groups i think, like scott is CLEARLY crazy so not staying with him but also...what if he was right about scar and mumbo...cant be risking that so without saying anything Lizzie just goes off on her own one day. She gets worse now that shes alone, even more paranoid of others because who could she trust?? anyone could be a source no matter how innocent they seem, just better to not risk it. Lizzie I feel like would somehow get one of those chest mounted go pros, she knows shes doing something when she blacks out, the video is usually completely fucked and she cant get it to play properly. She got a bit of the audio to work once, she swears she heard Jimmy talk to her. Her cough seems to be getting worse. Joel ABSOLUTELY now has it out for Scott bc not only is Jim missing now but also Lizzie is avoiding him like the plague. Even once yelled at him to stay away but he also thinks that Scott has gone fully insane and Joel just... for all his bark doesnt have a lot of bite to actually facing Scott in a fight, and Scott seems to be really good at dissapearing when he needs to so Joel is just constantly mad bc he feels helpless for not being able to do anything. Thought I do feel that he would not join but keep ties with the scar group, afterall he wasnt there when the actual fight happened so he doesnt like...fully trust them but also didnt hear scott accuse them + if scott hates them then they must be normal actually.

After the jim incident scar would become almost obsessively observant of mumbo and pearl, like god damn psychoanalyzing how they blink just to make sure that he can stop the influence before it gets too bad, after all hes lost too many close friends already. Pearl would be getting more and more sick but sticks with scar bc at least they WANT her around unlike everyone else. Mumbo just sets up an entire camera system around their base and is constantly just in his room reviewing the footage

Life Series but the operator (slenderman) is after them. Ok lets take some of the current teams so its easier to discuss I think Joel's first to go insane and start killing people. He can't handle the headaches and waking up in new places each morning without knowing where the fuck he was. He panics about everyt little odd noise and he can't handle the migranes and the tinnitus in his ear that keeps getting louder whenever the operator is near. He films absolutely everything, Gem is fine to begin with but will become paranoid alongside him. Just not to the same level. She definitely experiences memory loss. No clue who she spoke to before or what happened the night prior.

BigB is withdrawn. He's definitely under some influence. He's naturally suspicious of everything and everyone but it also means he isolates himself more than necessary. Everyone thinks he's working for the Operator but his mind simply too confused to know whats happening, he sees green maybe a bit too often. He can be seen filming people in secret. And when he's spotted he runs. Pearl sees him watching her so often she feels a bit calm when wandering around, she doesnt know if hes a danger to her but yet but at least she never feels alone.

Jimmy, Scar and Lizzie stick together. They're too stupidly curious about it so they attempt to get closer to it, try to get to the bottom of what the fuck is going on. Joel curses them out when he sees them. Tells them they will only make it worse, only bring it out more. They don't take him seriously. But Jimmy starts to experience severe paranoia after he thinks he was kidnapped at night and taken somewhere for a few hours. He woke up with his head bleeding and body covered in bruises. Scar doesn't know what to believe, Lizzie tries to convince him maybe he just sleepwalked. They aren't sure if Lizzie is somehow involved in it. She's not in denial about it existing for one. She might be coping over the fact that her husband no longer trusts her so she wants to avoid the topic of the effects this can have on people...

i think Tango might be the first one to go missing. He wasn't careful enough, he joked around with it, didn't watch his step. Didn't take it seriously. And now he's gone. Scar needs to go look for him. That's his friend, he can't just leave his friend out there. Jim and Lizzie discourage him for different reasons but Scar doesn't listen, why would he??? Pearl is also looking for Tango, so is Grian. Meanwhile Pearl has abandoned Scott because he tried to blame it reemerging and showing up again on her. Told her tjat if she goes to search for Tango she would doom them all. ....

I will come back i just need to cook this wait. enjoy i guess

[houseofwolvess]

.

[darlinguistics]

im sorry i dont usually post rants here but i need to get this out, ill put it under a cut

tw im talking about ABA therapy, and conversion therapy mentions. 

and i understand those would be triggering for many autistic people to read about but as someone who isnt autistic id really appreciate yalls reaction to this if its something youre comfy speaking about 

okay someone just like be blunt with me, esp the autistic community here, correct me if im wrong but isnt ABA therapy for autism like, bad??? horrible?? im not autistic and i have no personal experience with it but ive seen videos on it ive read about it and i always came away with this idea that it was really super flawed and irredeemable and just an outdated practice, kinda like conversion therapy for gay people in my mind. and like i knew it still happened anyway (like conversion therapy does) but i thought it was just Mostly understood to be Not Good. but heres where ive been losing my mind - im an undergrad student trying to become a speech-language pathologist one day and so im in a club at my school for SLP students and the literal PRESIDENT of the club like very openly is an ABA therapist for autistic kids on the side. like thats her job. ive heard her talk about it, its in her descriptions when shes listed on some websites, and every time i see it i feel like im being pranked like it feels like a dark joke or something.

like whats going on here someone just tell me how to feel please, am i just naive and apparently its Not super obvious how bad it is? or is ABA more nuanced than i thought and im overreacting? is there any way to do it in a not harmful way that i just havent heard of? or is it actually bad and just way more accepted that i thought it was??? i thought it was so obviously terrible but here i am in a stereotypical liberal school at a club meeting that asks for your pronouns and is all about advocating for people with disabilities and the president,, is an ABA therapist. when like half of the people in this club would say theyre interested in working with patients on the spectrum if you asked. like thats horrifying to me and im not even autistic. 

like idk i dont wanna sound like a naive little kid being like “bad people exist?? impossible!!” so im sorry if im coming off like that but idk its just making me so sad and im so shocked and like disgusted and frankly embarrassed to associate with the club, but then i look around and no one else even seems to care and ugh. ugh ugh ugh. 

i knew id encounter some weird hypocrite shit like this in academia eventually especially in my field but i guess i wasnt expecting to see it so soon and so blatant and so like personal, like this girls only a few years older than me yknow? ok i need to stop ranting im just making myself upset i just feel helpless and thats just not productive

[t0shii]

What do you think the bnha boys (Bakugou, sero and denki) would do if they saw their s/o guy friend being touchy with them🤨 and also pls drink water and stay safe <3

% s/o has a touchy friend

.! bakugou, sero, denki (sep) x gn!r

.! fluff (angst if you squint)/ not proofread

.! hii bby, tysm for the request! hope u enjoy!! + u too <3

bakugou

- omg he's sooo jealous

- i feel like he'll keep his cool in the moment because he doesn't want to upset you

- but it's hard :((

- n when you two get back to the dorms he'll be all pouty

- gives you the silent treatment

god it was just so annoying how he was touching all over you like he wasn't even there, even as the two of you walked back to the ua dorms he couldn't shake this irritable feeling, were you letting him touch all over you on purpose? the thought made him, uncomfortable.

"katsu, is something wrong?" you ask, it'd been two whole hours since you'd gotten back to the dorms and the two of you were lounging your room, you'd noticed he was strangely quiet and finally, you decided it would be best to ask him about it. "'m fine." he huffs, stuffing his nose deeper into the book he was reading. really, he just wanted you to leave him alone until this feeling had blown over but he knew you wouldn't. "-it's just that, you were letting your friend touch all over you, it was like i wasn't even there at all!" he says, trying his hardest not to raise his voice at you, which you could tell. "katsuki, i'm sorry i made you feel that way, i do wish you'd told me sooner. he's just touchy like that, always has been; since we were kids." you smile softly and place a hand on his shoulder, "i'll tell him not to be so touchy from now on, okay?"

he let's out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, "alright." "thank you for telling me." you grin, wrapping your arms around his waist he only grunts in response but when he places a kiss to the top of your head you know he's no longer upset.

sero

- wouldn't bring it up right then and there

- but when you back to the dorms he'll bring it up

- trusts you but has his own set of insecurities of course

- a little shy but can voice his feeling well

yeah, sero was a little annoyed your friend was all over you, that wasn't something he was necessary ashamed to admit, though he was a little concerned. why was he all over you and completely ignoring his existence? it seemed like every time he'd grab your hand your friend was pulling you away by your other.

you'd only just closed his dorm door when he spoke up, "hey, babe?" the frown on his face had your smile fading, "what's wrong?" you walk over to your boyfriend and hook your arms loosely around his waist. he thinks for a minute, "well nothing really but don't ya think your friend was a little... too touchy with you today? i understand you've been friends since you were kids but it felt like he was trying to keep you away from me." he chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck, "hanta, i had no idea you felt that way-" "-i mean it's fine, like totally not-" "no it's not fine, i'm sorry that we made you feel that way. he was just excited since we hadn't seen each other in so long, but for sure i'll tell him not to be so touchy from now on."

he sighs in relief, wrapping his arms around your waist, "you have no idea how relieved i feel right now, i was worried you'd be offended or upset with me." he mumbles pressure his forehead against yours, "of course not, your feelings are completely valid and i understand, if another person was all over you and taking you away from me i would feel the same." you giggle as he presses little kisses all over your face, "i love you so much."

denki

- genuinely is sad about it, poor baby

- why is this guy all over my s/o????

- why is my s/o letting him touch all over them???

- please when he brings it up he genuinely doesn't know what to say

- dismisses his own feelings stop im sad over this

- pls comfort him

when you'd told denki you wanted him to meet your lifelong, childhood best friend, he didn't know that meant following the two of you around the mall while he had his arm hooked around you. genuinely, he wasn't sure if it was right for him to be upset about it, he was only your friend after all plus you hadn't seen each other in so long, of course you want to spend time with him.

you'd been back in the dorm for hours now, denki playing videos games while you laid on his bed and did your own thing. he'd been thinking about the mall all day and how touchy your friend was with you, it was driving him crazy. finally, he couldn't take it anymore. "be right back sero." he says, pausing his game and muting his mic before turning around to face you, "hey, baby?" you avert your attention to your boyfriend, "yes, kami?" you answer, reaching to run your fingers through his blonde hair. "uhm... well it's really not a big deal and you can tell me if i'm over reacting but i've been thinking about it ever since we got back... it's about your friend... uh.... you know what, forget-" "no, jf it's bothering you, tell me. please? kami, if it's bothering you i'd like to know." you say softly, fingers continuing to comb through his hair. "it's just that, he was super touchy with you, i'm probably just overreacting but it did bother me a little." he mumbles softly, honestly it was barely even audible. "oh baby, i'm so sorry i didn't realize. hmm how about tomorrow after training, we go out just you and me and i'll make it up to you? we can do whatever you want." "okay." he breathes, eyes already lighting back up.

"and stop dismissing your feelings, kaminari. your feelings are valid and important to me, okay? i'll tell him not to be so touchy from now on." you smile, leaning to place a soft kiss on his lips, "i love you, got it?" "got it." he can't help the smile that creeps to his face at how warm his heart feels.

< reblogs appreciated >

[9tzuyu]

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.