#if it seems like Steve is being deliberately obtuse it’s because he is hope that clears things up

[unfinishedslurs]

one night stand (stoncy)

The morning after he hooks up with Jonathan and Nancy, he wakes up alone. 

He stretches towards the still-warm spot in Nancy’s bed, until he realizes no one’s there. His other side is cold. He’s pretty sure he fell asleep in the middle, so whoever was at his back has been gone a while. 

He tries not to feel any specific way about that. He fails. 

“Shit,” he says out loud, and tries to suffocate himself with a pillow. 

When that fails, he gets out of bed. His clothes are all on the floor, leaving him uncomfortably exposed in a room that feels colder than it is. Usually he doesn’t have an issue with nakedness, but apparently flying too close to the sun will have you faceplant in ways you didn’t know were possible. He didn’t even put his underwear back on after. 

Did Nancy? Did Jonathan? He can’t remember, and it bothers him. 

His shirt is missing. There’s a different sweater in its place, though, a little too small but stretched wide in the shoulders. He lets himself take a moment to press it to his face, breathing in, before shrugging it on. It makes him feel marginally less alone. 

Clothes on, he ventures down the stairs. 

Nancy and Jonathan are talking in hushed voices in front of the stove, stopping as soon as they see him. The back of his neck prickles uncomfortably at the secrecy. Were they talking about him? They must have been, both their cheeks flush when they’re caught. 

He’s pretty sure he knows what that means. 

“I, uh.” He licks his lips, mouth dry. Nancy’s wearing his sweater. The dark blue looks good on her, makes her lips redder and her eyes sharper. Jonathan is wearing his own shirt he must have left here another time, because Steve’s wearing the one he had on yesterday. “Good morning?”

Nancy’s lips quirk, like she can’t help herself. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Jonathan echoes. His eyes meet Steve’s for an instant before flickering away. “How’d you sleep?”

As soon as he says it, he winces. 

Steve can’t help laughing a little, even as it hurts. He’s just so cute when he’s awkward. “Pretty good,” he admits. “Longest I’ve slept in…a while, I think.” 

No nightmares that he can remember, but he’d woken up with a weight on his chest that set him on edge. Still, it’s better than he’s been getting lately. And he slept for almost eight hours, a near unachievable feat these days. 

“That’s good.”

“Jon’s making eggs,” Nancy blurts out, as if he can’t see the carton sitting on the counter. “Scrambled. There’s jam in the fridge, if you want toast.”

Scrambled eggs are his favorite. He wonders if Nancy remembers that, or if it’s just a coincidence. 

“Thanks,” he says, scrubbing the back of his neck, “but I gotta go to work.”

They both freeze. Jonathan’s fingers turn white around the fork in his hand. “I thought you worked in the afternoon.”

“Picked up a double. Thanks for the offer though. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Nancy opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. She swallows. “Yeah,” she echoes, “see you later.”

Jonathan turns back to his eggs. “Bye, Steve,” he says. His shoulders are tense. It’s a clear dismissal, and not one he’ll ignore. 

He gives them a dorky little salute he immediately regrets and tries not to make it look like he’s too eager to escape. 

Not even ten minutes after he starts his car he’s knocking on Robin’s window. Maybe he should feel bad about lying to them, but he needed to get out of there almost as badly as he needed to talk to her. 

She shoves it up so quickly he doesn’t have time to stop knocking and nearly gets a first to the face. “What the fuck,” she hisses, but he’s already tumbling in. 

He doesn’t even bother getting up off the floor before he declares, “I had sex with Nancy and Jonathan.”

She drops to the floor by his side. 

They lay there in silence for a good few minutes. It may be the longest they’ve ever been quiet. He loves Robin’s rambling, loves how it fills up the empty space in his house and his head and his heart until he feels like he could sing with it. To exist here without it feels unnatural, makes him feel tense as he waits for her judgment to rain down on him. 

“Shit,” she finally says. 

That about sums it up. He rolls over and laughs until he cries.

“Okay, say that for me one more time.”

“We had sex,” he says. He doesn’t think she wants the details of that. “I woke up alone. I told them I had to go to work and came straight here.”

“So you lied and left.”

“They left first.” He doesn’t care if he sounds like a whiny kid right now, he hates waking up alone. He spends most of his nights in bed with Robin, either here or at his house. If she wakes up before him (a rare occurrence), she shakes him so he doesn’t have to open his eyes and be confronted with an empty bed. 

“They don’t know, Steve,” she says quietly, tugging slightly at his hair to get the message across. “It sounds like they wanted you to stay. They made your favorite breakfast food.”

Nancy knew. He’d told her, forever ago. “They didn’t.”

“How do you know?”

He has a feeling she’s not going to accept “they just can’t” as an answer, so he doesn’t say anything at all.

She hears it anyway. “Is it really so hard to believe they might feel the same way about you as you feel about them?”

“Yes,” he sighs, rolling away from her probing eyes.

“Why?”

People who love you aren’t supposed to break your heart. They aren’t supposed to call you bullshit, or sleep with your maybe-maybe-not girlfriend, or ignore you for years afterwards and only talk to you when the world is ending. They’re not supposed to insult your family or call you a slut for the whole town to see either. 

God help him, he fell anyway. 

“They love each other,” he finally says. “They’ve always loved each other. There’s not- I don’t fit there. They made that pretty clear.”

He thought he did, for a bit. For the time it took for him to run back into the Byers’s messed-up house and fight a monster. The three of them had been so in sync, he thought briefly it could always be that way.

Until Jonathan pulled away from them. Until Nancy told him she didn’t love him. Until they both left him behind, holding the pieces of his shattered heart in his hands and wondering what went wrong.

Tommy wasn’t lying, when he called Steve a runner. He thought he’d gotten over it, gotten better at not taking the easy way out, but apparently when there’s no adrenaline rush it’s a hell of a lot harder to stick to your guns. He’s not willing to break his own heart like that again, even if it’s already too late. A little denial never hurt anyone.

He sees them again later that day. It’s so awkward he almost wishes another portal would open under his feet just so he could escape the conversation. 

“Hey guys! Fancy seeing you here.” The fake cheerfulness in his own voice is enough to make him wince. Then, because apparently he loves twisting that knife in his chest, “Looking for something for date night?”

“Looking for you, actually,” Nancy says flatly. “You weren’t here this morning.”

Shit. He didn’t think they’d come look for him. Why didn’t he think about that? He was obviously lying, why wouldn’t they call him out on it? He cuts a panicked glance at Jonathan, but he’s got the same intense, upset look on his face that Nancy does. If he wants someone to save him from Nancy’s ire, it won’t be him. 

Every second he goes without answering, Nancy’s glare deepens. 

“Must have been on my break,” he finally says, and immediately kicks himself. 

“You— on your—“ she opens and closes her mouth in disbelief, so mad she can’t talk. Shit, he’s definitely going to die today. 

Jonathan puts a soothing hand on her shoulder. “Steve,” he says. There’s a slight tremor to his voice. Steve put that there. Steve made them so upset. He’s a fucking monster, God. No wonder they're mad at him. “Where did you go?”

He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I went to Robin’s.”

“Why?”

He gives him a look. 

“But why would you go to Robin’s?” Nancy spits. 

Woah, woah, woah. The fuck was that suppose to mean? He thought Nancy liked Robin. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Saying what like that?”

“Her name,” he says, hackles raised. “What the hell, guys? What’s your problem?”

“You want to know what my problem is?”

“Nancy…” Jonathan warns, trying to pull her back. She shrugs him off. 

“My problem,” she says loudly. He’s so lucky the store is empty, “is that you went to talk to Robin instead of us!”

“What is there to talk about?” He demands. It’s a genuine question, but he realizes as soon as it’s left his mouth that it’s not phrased as one. 

Nancy makes a noise not unlike his mother’s tea kettle. Well, he lived a good life. At least Robin knows where his will is. 

“You know what?” She finally snaps. “Fuck you, Steve.” And with that fun little note, she turns on her heel and leaves the store, bell ringing in the silence left in her wake. 

When he looks at Jonathan, he’s clearly torn between following her or staying and talking to Steve. Well, he can help with that decision. “You should probably go after her.”

“I don’t…”

“It’s fine, man,” he says when Jonathan trails off, clearly at a loss. “I get it. It was just a silly mistake, right? No harm, no foul.” He smiles to show that he means it. It pulls at his cheeks uncomfortably, but it works. Probably because Jonathan isn’t looking at him. 

“Right,” he echoes. “A mistake. It was just a mistake.”

He hovers for another minute, waiting for Steve to say something, but he’s too preoccupied with the lump in his throat. He knew that was all it was, but hearing it was like a punch to the gut. It takes all his self control to keep the tears at bay. 

Finally, Jonathan swipes his wrist under his nose. “Right,” he says again, and leaves without another word. 

Steve puts his head in his hands. 

Forget Nancy. Robin is going to be the one to put him in the dirt. 

“You told them it was a mistake?” She screeches. They’re so lucky they’re at his house. Or maybe not. It means there won't be witnesses to his murder. 

“He agreed with me!”

“You told Nancy there was nothing to talk about? You said that? To her face?”

“Not technically,” he says. It’s a weak defense. “Besides, she was being weird about you! Like me talking to you was somehow insulting.”

“Yeah, because she wanted you to talk to them,” she insists, waving her hands around. “Dingus!”

“You don’t know that!” 

“Uh, yes I do. You think Nancy and I don’t talk about you when we hang out?”

Wait, what? He sits up. “What the fuck? Did you tell them—“

“No!” Robin looks shamefaced. “Well, I sort of said you might be open to that kind of thing. I didn’t think it’d end up like this!”

“What the fuck? No, seriously Robin, why the hell would you do that?”

“Because I thought it would be good for you! I didn’t think you’d run away.”

He’s going to kill her. What is it about him that both of his best friends called him a coward? Whatever look is on his face, it makes Robin’s mouth shut with a click. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she swears. “I just meant…you have a habit of running away from things that will hurt you.”

He thinks of Tommy’s kiss-swollen lips, the look in his eyes when Steve walked away. The same eyes in an older face as he shouts at him for the last time. “I have some scars that would say otherwise.”

She nudges him gently. “You know that’s not what I meant. Just…think about it, okay?”

He hasn’t thought about anything else. 

He doesn’t see them for another three weeks. They’re doing a stellar job at avoiding each other. 

At least they were until Robin became a filthy traitor. 

“You left,” Nancy spits, choked up. “You woke up, and you lied to us, and you left, and I thought—we thought—“

“Oh,” Steve says, “yeah, I kind of thought you were going to tell me it was a mistake and I didn’t want you to see me cry.”

“Steve.” Jonathan sounds downright heartbroken, eyes big and mouth turned in a frown that Steve feels awful for putting there. 

“I thought you’d be nice about it! It’s not like I pictured you spitting in my face and calling me stupid for thinking you’d ever want me.” He totally did. He had a whole dream about it. Robin told him it was stress. Steve told her he’d give her something to stress about. 

Jonathan gives him a look like he knows it’s bullshit. “We wanted you,” he insists. He looks at Nancy, and she gives him a nod. “We… we want you.”

“Oh.” It catches him off guard, even if the whole conversation was building to this anyway. He’s not stupid, he could read the signs just fine, but somehow hearing it out loud is what takes his breath away. “Cool.”

[saltybaltic]

hello! if you’re taking requests as of right now, could I request a fic involving an extremely shy avenger!reader having an enormous crush on Nat and it being a running joke among the team because she doesn’t have a clue when it’s so painfully obvious to everyone else? I don’t care how it ends, go wild.... (take that as you will)

Natasha Romanoff X Reader - CONFIDENCE

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow X FemReader Fanfic

Synopsis: You have a huge crush on one of your team mates but you’re too shy to ever do anything about it. Fortunately, people have noticed and you might be about to get some help.

Warnings: None

Words: 989

“You know she likes you right?”

Natasha’s hands stilled on the keyboard for a second, looking up at her friend with a frown, “Who?”

Scoffing at her answer, Clint took a swig of his coffee before responding, “Who? Like you don’t know.”

“Forgive me, I thought everyone on this team liked me.” shot back Natasha, giving him a sarcastic smile and going back to her work on the laptop.

Clint rolled his eyes and placed his mug on the coffee table, flopping down onto the sofa beside the red head and nudging her computer playfully with his foot to get her attention again, “You’re being deliberately obtuse.”

“And you’re being deliberately annoying.” muttered Natasha, shifting over slightly on the sofa so she was nestled in the corner out of his reach.

“Fine, you win.” conceded Clint, raising his hands in surrender before reaching for his coffee again, “But you should do something about it and stop letting that poor girl work herself into a fluster around you.”

Of course Natasha knew exactly who he was talking about. Everyone on the team seemed to know. In fact the only person who didn’t seem to realise you had a huge crush on The Black Widow was, well, you.

You had always been shy, and although joining The Avengers had succeeded in bringing you out of your shell a little, there was still certain social situations that you just couldn’t handle very well. So it was no surprise that when a beautiful woman flirted with you on occasion, you tended to find yourself reduced to a blushing, bumbling mess.

Natasha wasn’t cruel. She wasn’t deliberately toying with you or taking any pleasure in your squirming. Okay maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Did she find it cute when you would duck your head and fumble over your words whenever she sent a flirtatious comment your way? A little. But she wasn’t doing it to mess with you. She wanted to challenge you, encourage you, dare you to make a move. Because despite what you might be willing to believe, she liked you too. Ever since you had joined the team she had become quite fond of you, finding your quick wit, humour and kindness to others rather endearing. She saw the way you interacted with the others; laughing and making jokes, teasing one another playfully, and generally looking after each other. You had become something of a weakness of hers, finding her eyes drawn to you around the compound and just watching from a distance. All Natasha wanted was for you to finally gather the courage to interact with her in the same way, and she definitely wasn’t the only one on the team that was desperate for you to realise you had a crush.

At much the same time as Clint was questioning Natasha upstairs, you found yourself being given the workout of your life in the gym with Steve. Now they weren’t exactly giving out slots on the team to anyone off the street so you knew you possessed some desirable abilities, but going toe to toe with Captain America was a challenge for anyone on their best day.

Gesturing with your hands for a time out, you sucked in a breath and gripped your waist where you could feel a stitch forming, “Jesus Steve, let’s take five, you’re kicking my ass.”

“You’re doing great though.” encouraged Steve with a small chuckle, tossing you a water bottle from the corner of the gym mat, “I can tell you’ve been practicing.”

You shrugged, “Well as the newest team member, I feel I had some catching up to do.”

“Don’t talk like that, you’re already where you need to be.” reassured Steve, walking closer as he seemed to hesitate for a moment before deciding to speak, “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to have a little more self confidence.”

“I have enough confidence.”

Steve nodded slowly, obviously not wanting to cross a line but still wanting to say something, “Around me? Sure. But you should be more confident around others.”

“Like who?” you asked, watching Steve carefully over your water bottle as you took a few gulps.

“Like Natasha.”

You almost choked on your water, “W-Why ... errr ... why do you say that?”

“You like her, right?”

Scratching at the back of your neck uncomfortably, you tossed the drink to one side, “That’s enough of a break, let’s go again.”

“Hey.” Steve grabbed your arm to stop you from heading back into the centre of the mat and offered a reassuring smile, “Look, I’m just saying. Try not to be so shy around her, she’s not as scary as she’d have you believe. Plus, between you and me? I’m pretty sure she likes you too.”

“I don’t ...” you trailed off in thought for a second. Did you like Natasha? You definitely admired her. You envied her confidence and sass. She was an impressive woman, not to mention absolutely gorgeous. And you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed and flattered whenever she would flirt with you. It drove you crazy with frustration how shy you could be around her and that you were never able to say or do anything in response. It wasn’t lack of desire that was stopping you, of course you wanted to flirt back with her. Who wouldn’t?

A frown started to develop on your face the longer you thought about it, realisation suddenly dawning on you. It was so obvious now. You didn’t just admire Natasha, Steve was right - you did like her.

He seemed to see the lightbulb moment as it unfolded, patting you on the shoulder reassuringly with a small laugh as he motioned you back towards where you had been sparring, “Don’t worry about it, just something to think about. Now come on, show me what you’re made of.”

You let yourself process the discussion with Steve for a few days, keeping mostly to yourself as you thought about it in depth. You almost felt stupid for taking so long to realise, so much of the past few weeks making sense now. There had been more than a few occasions where a team mate had made a teasing comment, all in good fun of course, about your blushes and stuttering around Natasha. You had assumed it was just banter amongst friends about your chronic shyness but now it was painfully obvious that you were the last person in the building to realise you had a crush on Natasha.

Although you had given yourself adequate time to consider your revelation, you hadn’t exactly formulated a plan to deal with it. Unfortunately it seemed that you weren’t going to be given any more time to come up with something, when your quiet evening alone on the sofa was interrupted by the very woman who had been consuming your thoughts.

“Mind if I join you?” asked Natasha, plonking herself down on the sofa beside you without waiting for a response.

Shifting your attention from the movie on the television, you looked across at the other woman and swallowed, already feeling your mouth becoming dry as you silently shook your head.

“What you watching?”

You blinked, taking a moment to inhale a calming breath and internally encouraging yourself before engaging your brain to speak, “I-I don’t know really, it was just on and I kind of got sucked in.”

Natasha nodded, glancing at the television briefly as she leaned back against the sofa. Her arm lay across the cushions, bent at the elbow as she raised her hand and rested her chin on it. Her eyes drifted back to meet yours, watching you carefully, “The boys say I make you nervous. Is that true?”

Panic.

Your first instinct was to run, heart hammering against your rib cage as for the first time, Natasha put you on the spot. You could already feel the heat rising in your cheeks and there was a distinct possibility your palms were sweating.

“I errr ...” you took another breath to compose yourself, closing your eyes for a moment as you tried to remain calm, “I suppose it is, yeah.”

Natasha’s lips turned up slightly at that, her chin still balanced on her hand as she studied you, “You shouldn’t be nervous.”

“I shouldn’t?”

Shaking her head, Natasha broke out into a proper smile, “I mean don’t get me wrong, you look cute when you’re nervous.”

At her comment you had to look away, biting down on your lip and pressing the back of your hand to your cheek to confirm the fact that yes, you were definitely getting flushed now.

Natasha chuckled quietly, “Yeah, there it is.”

Hoping to take Steve’s advice and scrambling for all the courage you could muster, you looked back at the other woman and cocked your head curiously, “Do you just enjoy toying with me or ...?”

“Or what?” asked Natasha, the subtle smirk on her face suggesting she knew exactly what you were asking. After a few seconds of silence, she took the initiative and filled in the blanks for you, not wanting to put you on the spot too much given that this was already the longest the two of you had ever spoken, “I’m not toying with you ... I was just trying to gauge whether the rumours were true and if I should ask you out on a date.”

You had to fight not to gasp in surprise, sure that it would probably be the most embarrassing response you could have, “A ... a date? With me?”

“Well I don’t see anyone else around.” joked Natasha, gesturing around the empty room, “Unless you don’t want to.”

Shaking your head perhaps a little too eagerly, you turned your body to face her properly, “No that. Um. That would be nice.”

“Great.” answered Natasha, shooting you a reassuring smile as she went to get up from the sofa, “How does tomorrow night sound?”

“I ... that would. Err. Sure. Tomorrow. Good. Yes.” you could barely speak now, sure this must be some kind of fever dream and it couldn’t actually be happening.

Natasha simply laughed, standing up and leaning over to squeeze your shoulder gently before turning to make her way out of the room, “Yeah you’re still cute. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Unable to do or say anything else, you silently watched her walk away, unable to quite believe what had just unfolded. Natasha Romanoff had asked you out on a date.

As if finally realising what had just happened, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile. If it meant Natasha had finally asked you out, maybe all that teasing from the rest of the team had been good for something after all.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Destiny

Ch 5- It’s Good Advice, You Should Take It.

Chapter Summary: The final memory Tony and Natasha show Katie sees them back at the compound, in a moment Katie isn’t that keen to relive. And then the time comes for her to say goodbye to her brother and best friend all over again.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So this is it. The last Chapter of Stark Spangled Destiny. I hope y’all have enjoyed this little mini-series as much as I have writing it. As always, thanks for your continued support, comments and re-blogs, and of course for loving Katie, Steve and the kids as much as I do.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Destiny Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Katie looked at the door which led to their apartment in the compound. The familiar smells, noises, sights had all assaulted her senses the minute she had found herself here and she was swamped with a million and one memories of the place that for years they had called home, their private space contained just behind the glossy, dark wooden door she was stood in front of.

She looked at Tony who nodded, as did Natasha- the red head dropping a hand to Katie’s shoulder. With a deep breath she pressed her palm to the pad at the side and the door slid open and she stepped into the apartment, heading into hallway, taking a look around at the earthy tones it was decorated in. She moved further into the apartment, through to the open plan living area, taking everything in, including the large, canvas photo from their wedding day, the pair of them on the dance floor for their first dance, their heads pressed together, stupid grins on their face. The very same canvas now adorned the wall in their entrance hall of their home in Brooklyn, having been moved out of the living room to make way for the various photos of their kids and family.

“I do like that photo.” Natasha smiled and Katie looked at her, smiling herself.

“Me too.” She nodded before taking a deep breath, getting a hit of the wax burner she’d almost constantly had going, with the lingering smell of the Hugo Boss Steve had worn until a few years back when Emmy had informed him that the company had once-upon-a-time made Uniforms for the Nazis. Horrified, Steve had instantly stopped using it, swapping to Gucci Guilty instead, which Katie wasn’t complaining about. She preferred it.

“What am I doing here Tony?” Katie asked, turning to face him, but before he could reply Katie heard the door open to the bedroom. She looked up as Steve strolled in to the room from the hallway, yawning. His hair was shorter, face clean shaven and he was in a pair of sweats that hung off his hips, his top half bare showing off his physique. Katie took a moment, looking at him, taking in how damned young he looked, all the time biting her lip.

Besides her Tony rolled his eyes. “You’re drooling.”

“And?” She shrugged, moving to follow Steve into the kitchen area. His back muscles twitched as he reached up for the coffee and Katie gave a little groan. “I love it when he does that.”

“What, makes coffee?” Nat quipped nudging her, and Katie gave a snort.

“No, flexes his back.” She shrugged “I like it.”

“You know, you’re really fucking weird.” Tony concluded, before Katie gave a laugh which cut off as she caught a movement in her peripheral…

 Steve heard a noise and turned round to see Katie padding her way into the kitchen, wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a camisole top, hair piled on top of her head. She yawned and gave him a tired smile.

“Hey beautiful.” He smiled back, leaning down to give her a good morning kiss. “How’s Emmy?”

“Sleeping.” Katie sighed, rubbing her eyes as she yawned again “She finally drifted off about three am.”

Steve bit the inside of his lip as he looked down at the floor. “You know, I really wish I could help. I feel so useless when she has those nightmares, because I can’t comfort her or…”

“Hey…” Katie shook her head, reaching out for his hands and lacing her fingers through his. “You do help. You give her a safe home. She’ll come round in the end, Steve, you’ll see. We just have to let her do it in her own time.”

“I know, you’re right.” Steve agreed, looking at his wife “Still doesn’t make me feel any better. You know, she’s been here almost three months now. Do we need to call anyone, try and get her some help or…”

Katie pondered for a moment before she shrugged “Honestly, I don’t know how she’d react to it. Maybe. Let’s just see how we go ok? Give it another couple of weeks and then if things don’t get any better we can call someone.”

“Ok.” Steve nodded before he took another deep breath “You want coffee?”

“Dur.” Katie smiled and he chuckled at his dumbass question. “Thought I’d do French Toast for breakfast, that sound ok or are you rushing to meet Rhodey?”

“No rush.” Steve shook his head “I don’t need to leave until 10..” Katie stood watching and turned to Tony. “I know exactly what this day is. This is when Emmy had her meltdown.”

Tony nodded “Yeah, poor kid.”

“It’s easy to forget how troubled she was when she arrived.” Natasha mused as the three of them watched as past Katie and Steve moved around the kitchen like a well-oiled machine and Katie had to smile. It was odd watching it from the outside and she’d never appreciated just how tactile Steve was with her. A touch on the arm here, a kiss to the cheek or neck there, but now she thought about it she realised he was still the same now. Like he deliberately looked for any excuse to touch her or show her affection.  That hadn’t waned in the slightest after seventeen years of being together.

“Gross…” Tony grumbled as Natasha gave a chuckle when Steve stopped Katie and turned her to face him, giving her a deep kiss which was interrupted by Emmy.

“Sorry, didn’t realise you two were making out.” She said, as she pottered into the kitchen dressed in a pair of pyjamas.

“I was making breakfast.” Katie said, completely unabashed by Emmy’s dig. Steve, on the other hand, flushed red and looked down, suddenly realising he was topless.

“I’m gonna…” He trailed off before he made his way out of the kitchen and Katie looked at Emmy as she pulled open the fridge

“You want orange juice or apple, Em?”

“Orange please.” Emmy said, sitting on one of the high stools.  Katie poured her a glass, handing it to her. The eleven year old took it with a mumbled thanks and took a sip, her eyes trained on the surface of the breakfast bar. Katie watched her for a second before she stepped towards her slightly.

“You okay?” She asked, noticing the girl was unusually quiet. She’d come out of her shell a lot more recently but seemed today to be retreating back into it.

“Yeah, I’m just a little tired.” Emmy shrugged.

“I’m not surprised.” Katie said softly

“Sorry.” Emmy said quietly and Katie sighed..

“Em, there’s nothing to be sorry for.” She gently placed her hand on her shoulder. “You can’t help what you dream about.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you both up.”

“Honestly, sweetheart it’s fine.” Katie said, “now, I’m gonna make French toast for breakfast. That okay?”

Emmy nodded and took another drink of her orange juice before Katie turned back to her cooking, Emmy simply watching her. Normally she offered to help but today she was simply sat at the breakfast bar, observing and every so often her eyes would flick round the room. It was a change in demeanour Katie was painfully aware of but let it pass them by, allowing her to do what she felt she wanted, or needed as the case may be, to do.

Just as Katie was serving, Steve emerged fully dressed, hair damp from the shower. “This looks great, thanks honey.” He said, dropping a kiss to Katie’s cheek as she placed a plate in front of him whilst he pulled out a stool and sat down.

Katie settled at the end of the bar, her own food in front of her and she noticed Emmy’s eyes flick from her to Steve before she looked down at her plate. Steve also clocked the look on her face and he glanced at Katie who shook her head telling him not to comment.

“So, what do you two have planned today?” Steve asked instead, breaking the silence.

When Emmy didn’t reply, Katie picked up the conversation. “I have a conference call at eleven for an hour with the guys at SIDE but other than that not much. I do need to go to the store though, that okay Em?”

Emmy shrugged “Fine.”

“I can always see if you can stay with Bruce or Nat.” Katie offered “I know you and Nat have been working through Friends on Netflix...”

Emmy looked at her. “If I’m not too much of a burden.”

Steve frowned and looked at Katie before he glanced back at Emmy. “Of course you’re not. Nat and Bruce love having you here as much as we do.”

Emmy turned her head to Steve, her eyes locking on his almost as if she was searching them to see if he was telling the truth. Eventually she nodded and turned back to her food. “Then if I can I’d like to stay here.”

“Sure.” Katie said, nodding. “To be honest, you can always stay here in your room anyway. FRIDAY is always on hand and if you need anything…”

“Whatever is easier.”

“What do you want to do?” Katie asked, not a shred of impatience in her tone despite Emmy being obtuse. Emmy paused and then looked at her.

“The Common Room with Nat.” she said finally.

“Okay, then when I go down to the office I’ll ask her, ok?”

Emmy nodded. “Thanks.”

Steve looked at Katie once more, before the three of them resumed eating breakfast, Katie and Steve carrying the conversation for the most before Emmy finished and politely asked if she could be excused to wash up and get dressed. After Steve told her of course she could, she took her plate to the sink and then headed out.

“Tell me I’m being overly sensitive but…” Steve began and Katie cut him off.

“She told me before she’s tired Steve.” She replied “She had a rough night, you know as well as anyone what night terrors can do.”

“Think that’s all it is?”

“Honestly I’ve no idea.” Katie sighed. “But until she’s ready to talk what do we do? I’m not gonna keep pushing her as it will make it worse.”

Steve took a deep breath and Katie stood up, reaching for his plate but he stopped her, his hand gently wrapping around her wrist “I’ll do that. You go get yourself sorted.”

Katie smiled, dropped a kiss to his lips and headed out of the room. “I know where this is going…” Katie sighed, “I don’t…do I have to see it again?”

“Yup.” Tony said.

“Why?” she turned to her brother “Why is going over this particular day important?”

“Because it is.” Natasha said simply “You were questioning what the point of you being in your kids’ lives was.” She turned to Katie who met her gaze. “You need to understand just how much of an impact you and Steve had on Emmy, and what your decision to let her stay with you meant for her, and her life. Things could have turned out very different.”

“I know that.” Katie sighed, exasperatedly.

“Do you?” Tony looked at her. “Do you really know or is it just something you think you know?”

Katie looked at him and let out a groan. “Of course I know Tony, she was living on her own…”

“Okay.” Tony held his hands up. “But you’re gonna watch anyway.”

Katie let out a loud noise and when she turned back to the scene in front of her she noticed now that she was fully dressed, in jeans and a sweater and was fishing in the Gold Pineapple bowl. They watched as she fished her car keys from the bowl and then her wallet, opening it, giving an exasperated groan and yelling out the word. “Fuck.”

“Potty mouth…” Tony looked at her and she shrugged.

“My cash was gone.” Katie looked at Tony. “You know, it seems like such an odd thing now but it was so rare in the year or so after the snap. I hardly ever used it, everything was by card.”

“People went into a frenzy, trying to withdraw what they could.” Nat shrugged.

“So much so they basically emptied every ATM in the country.” Tony mused “And to think they ridicule old people for stashing it under the mattress…”

Katie let out a deep breath watched herself ponder something before she headed out, phone in hand, as she closed the door behind her.

“Real informative.” Katie deadpanned, turning to Tony who shot her a scathing look. “Me looking at an empty wallet.”

“Shut up.” Tony rolled his eyes “I forgot what a sarcastic ass you are.”

“I learnt from the best.” She shot back. Natasha gave a chuckle.

“She’s not wrong Shell Head.”

“I hate you both.” Tony sulked, turning away from them as he strode towards the Golden Pineapple on the table. He bent to examine it before he gave a snort and looked back at Katie.

“Why the fuck did you buy this?” Tony looked at her.

“I told you about a thousand times.” Katie sighed “It was a joke between me and Steve. He still has it you know.”

“I don’t get it.” Tony shrugged.

“You won’t because it’s an in joke…” Katie groaned “Look, I know you haven’t brought me here to look at a fucking pineapple bowl.”

“Well I kinda did, in a way, but…” Tony shrugged and nodded back to the door.

Steve opened the door, his hair and shoulders were wet from the shower of rain which had chosen the exact moment he had gotten out of the car to start, and then the moment he’d entered the building to stop. Dropping his kit bag to the floor he peeled off his jacket and hung it on the peg by the door. He then kicked off his sneakers, and made his way into the living area where Katie was perched on the sofa, cross legged. Her hair was pulled up into a hap-hazard bun and her glasses were perched on her nose as she glanced down at the laptop which was resting on her knees, her feet placed on the edge of the coffee table. Sensing his presence as always, she turned over her shoulder to look at him and he smiled.

“You still working?” he asked, nodding to the laptop and she shook her head.

“No, well, sorta…I was looking at some figures but nothing major.” She tapped a button to save what she had been doing before she shut the laptop. Steve flopped onto the sofa next to her, leaning over to place a soft kiss to her lips. “Good day?” she asked.

“Not bad.” He shrugged “I might need to head away again for a while, looks like we’re focussing on another unit in Toronto.”

“How long for?”

“A week, maybe two.” He shrugged “That ok?”

“Yeah, of course.” She nodded “It needs to be done Steve, and like you said, if we don’t then…”

“I know.” He breathed out “Rather be here with you and Em though.”

She chuckled and turned to face him, “Soppy bastard.”

He shrugged before he leaned back against the cushion and she snuggled under his arm. “Speaking of Em, where is she?”

“Oh she’s with Bruce.” Katie replied “She spent a few hours with Nat and then she headed into the lab, she was showing her something to do with…actually, I don’t have a clue. Bruce did try to explain but it went right over my head. Something about energy extrapolation...I think.”

Steve laughed, his hand gently tracing shapes on her upper arm. “Is she feeling better.”

“I think so.” Katie sighed “Hard to gage. She was laughing with Nat when I came back from the store…oh, and that reminds me, Rogers.” She sat up and poked at his chest “Next time you’re gonna use me as your own personal ATM, can you at least warn me first?”

“What?” Steve looked at her, utterly baffled “Personal ATM…I don’t…”

“The cash you took from my wallet.” Katie arched an eyebrow “Not that it matters, everywhere is card, card, card now but you know I like to-“

“Baby…” Steve cut her off, shaking his head. “I didn’t take any cash from you, I’ve still got some spare.”

Katie frowned “Well I know there was about two hundred bucks in there and now there’s nothing, so if you didn’t then…” She trailed off, sighing “Shit.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Steve said, instantly understanding and Katie bit her lip.

“Who else could it be?” She took off her glasses and tossed them carelessly on top of her laptop, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“FRIDAY?” Steve asked.

“Yes, Captain Rogers.” The AI responded.

“Has anyone else been in our quarters over the last twenty-four hours?” Steve asked the question, although deep down he already knew the answer. It was impossible for anyone to get into the compound without them knowing.

“Apart from yourself, Mrs Rogers and Miss McKellen that is a negative, Captain.”

Katie looked at him, “Now what do we do?”

Steve inhaled and let out a deep breath from his nose “Ok, we need to talk to her about it.”  Katie bit her lip before she stood up and Steve frowned “Where are you going?”

“To check her room.”

“Honey…” Steve started to protest but Katie stopped him dead with a look.

“No, Steve, I’m sorry but…” and with that she headed off down the hall. Steve let out a groan, before he followed her. Up until now Emmy had caused them no issues really in the grand scheme of things. The nightmares and panic attacks aside, ok and the melt down she’d Katie had taken her shopping as she refused to go back to her old foster home to pick anything up, she’d been great. Never complained, never moaned about anything, in fact she seemed positively grateful to be there, which was why this was such a shock to them both. And he still didn’t want to believe it.

However, when he watched Katie pulling a rucksack out of Emmy’s wardrobe, opening the front pocket to reveal the money the pair of them were forced to accept that she’d stolen from them. With tears in her eyes Katie opened the main part of the bag and then tossed it onto Emmy’s bed.

“Look.” She said gently. Steve moved, his hands parting the bag open slightly and he stared at the contents. Clothes, a few toiletries, some granola bars, a packet of cookies and bottles of water.

“You don’t think…” Steve swallowed “She was gonna run away?”

“What other explanation is there?” Katie’s voice was a sad whisper, and the look on her face broke Steve’s heart. “I don’t get it, I mean is she that unhappy here that she’d rather take her chances out there alone?”

Steve had nothing to say. There was nothing he could say, because he felt as helpless and as lost as Katie here. Of the hundreds of missions he’d faced, his various dances with death and that flighty temptress fear, nothing had ever prepared him for how he felt then. He had no Plan A, let alone a Plan B.

Katie swallowed and looked at Tony. “You know, looking back on all of this…it has to be one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had no idea what to do for the best…”

“Well whatever you did worked out.” Tony said simply, as they watched past Katie and Steve head out of Emmy’s room, Steve clutching Emmy’s bag in one hand, his other gently placed on the curve of Katie’s back.

Katie sighed heavily and shook her head “I really don’t want to see this next bit. Please, I get it…”

“No, you don’t.” Nat said simply and looked at her “You won’t get it until you see it from this point of view.”

“Why?”

“Stop being awkward.” Tony sighed, “Just watch will you, save the questions until after.”

Katie glared at the pair of them before she stalked out of Emmy’s room just in time to see the girl herself walk into the apartment. Lucky padded out of the open plan living area and into the hallway to say greet her. She pet his head and then headed into the living room. Taking a deep breath, as she could remember this next bit like it had happened only yesterday, Katie followed her.

Emmy stopped dead as she saw her rucksack perched on the large oak dining table which was situated in front of the bi-folding doors, behind the sofa. Steve looked up at her from where he and Katie had been sat, both with a mug of tea in their hands, trying to decide how they dealt with the situation.

“You been going through my stuff?” Emmy glared at them both, her arms folded.

“Emmy…” Katie sighed “Sit down.”

“No.”

“Sit.” Steve instructed, his voice a little more stern than Katie’s and Emmy looked at him, her chin jutting out defiantly.

“I said no.”

“Fine, don’t” Katie shrugged “But to answer your question, yes we did go through your stuff…because I was looking for something. Some money that went missing.”

“And you just assumed I took it.” She glared at them both “I get it, the bad foster kid…”

“Oh Emmy stop!” Steve said exasperatedly “For your information, no, we didn’t just assume. We checked with FRIDAY. No one bar us three has been in the apartment. So unless you’re suggesting Lucky stole it then…”

Emmy glanced at Steve and then looked at the floor as from behind the bag, Katie pushed the wad of cash across the table. Emmy glanced up and took a deep breath, at least having the good grace to look remorseful.

“Why did you take it?” Katie asked.

Emmy stayed quiet for a little while before she shrugged “In case I need it.”

“What do you need two hundred bucks for?” Steve asked, his tone softer than it had been before. “Do you owe it to someone? Are you in trouble?”

“No.”

“Then explain to us Em.” Katie sighed, “If you need something or want something, all you gotta do is ask. Not steal from us.”

“I just do…ok?”

“For when you run away you mean?” Steve looked at her “Yes, we checked the rest of your bag.”

“You…you had no right to go through my stuff!” Emmy’s voice raised and Steve felt his temper beginning to rise. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of what she’d been through. Under the table, Katie squeezed his knee gently and he looked away from Emmy, ensuring he kept his composure.

“We didn’t want to.” Katie looked at her “But Em, you stole from us. And you were planning on running away. I don’t get it. Are you not happy here? Do you want to leave?”

Emmy looked down at her feet but didn’t answer.

“This is getting us nowhere.” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Emmy we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what the problem is.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be here!” she said, her voice raising “You’re the one that made me come!”

“Yeah, because you were about to get yourself in trouble…” Steve protested but she cut him off.

“Yeah, yeah, Captain America…can’t bear to see anyone doing anything wrong.” She glared at him and Steve felt the nerve in his jaw twitch “Where were you when we actually needed you huh?”

“Emily…” Katie frowned “That’s not fair…”

Steve looked down at the table, shaking his head “You know exactly where we were…”

“I don’t mean the fight, or whatever…” She blazed “I mean after! It took people months to realise I was on my own, and I’m not the only one.”

“I know!” Katie shook her head “But we had a lot to deal with, why do you think I’m working so hard with setting up these homes?”

“Yeah, great coz that’s what kids like me need isn’t it, to be dumped back in a home.” Emmy shook her head “God this is so shit.”

“Ok, that’s enough.” Steve snapped. “Emmy that day in the store, I brought you back here to try and help and we’ve done nothing but accommodate you. We put a roof over your head, fed you, clothed you…Katie’s sat up countless nights with you when you’ve had nightmares…and this is how you repay us?”

“Sorry I didn’t realised you wanted payment.”  Emmy glared at him. “What do you want? I have no money…I could always work the streets, you know, turn hooker…”

“Oh for…” Steve finally snapped, he stood up quickly, his chair clattering to the floor behind him as he turned away, drawing his hands over his face. 

Simultaneously, Emmy’s eyes widened and she stepped back further away, an action Katie spotted.

“Emmy,” she began and Steve turned back round. One look at Emmy’s petrified face made his heart sink. He’d frightened her. That hadn’t been his intention, far from it but as he stepped towards her to try and calm her down, she retreated away, moving backwards towards the door before she turned and bolted out of the room.

“Shit.” Steve mumbled, and in a flash he was after her “Emmy…”

“Get away from me!” she screamed, running into her room. “Leave me alone…”

“Em…” Katie was behind Steve, “Emily, just listen…”

But she was having none of it. She reached her room and made to slam the door, and Steve knew she’d lock it if she did so acting on instinct he reached out and stuck his hand straight in between the door and the frame. It slammed straight onto his fingers, and he gave a grimace, gritting his teeth slightly as Emmy screamed and repeated the motion. But he never once made a sound. Katie had tears in her eyes as she looked at Steve and as Emmy made to slam the door on his hand for a 3rd time he reached up with his left one, and placed the palm flat on the wood stopping it dead. He pushed gently, making it swing back open and Katie moved past him into the room.

“Emmy what’s going on?” she asked, “Please, you need to talk to us.”

“You want me to leave!” Emmy cried, as she slumped to the floor in the corner of the room, hugging her knees to her chest.

“No, no we don’t.” Katie insisted, kneeling in front of her, as Steve strode into the room quietly, sitting on the end of Emmy’s bed in an attempt to make himself slightly less imposing in the space of the room.

“I heard you!” Emmy screamed, “I heard you earlier, saying that you’d give it another couple of weeks before you called someone to come and take me and…”

“Woah, woah, woah…” Steve held his hand up, cutting her off. “Emmy, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“Don’t fucking LIE TO ME!”

“Emmy, he isn’t!” Katie insisted, “That wasn’t about sending you away, it was about getting you help with your nightmares, babe.”

Silence fell over the room and Emmy’s mouth clamped shut, her large brown eyes blinking as she looked at Katie then to Steve.

“It’s true.” He said softly “It was my idea.”

“So you don’t wanna send me to a home?” Emmy asked quietly, her tears trickling down her face.

“No, sweetheart, we don’t.” Katie said, her own eyes spilling over as she reached up to wipe Emmy’s tears away “Look, we weren’t gonna tell you until it was all sorted out but a week ago a place for you opened at one of the homes that SIDE has been organising, but…” she took a deep breath and looked at Steve who licked his lips.

“We don’t want you to leave Em.”  He finished for Katie. “So, we’ve applied to the Authorities to make this your permanent Foster Home.”

“You have?” Emmy’s voice was a whisper and both Katie and Steve nodded.

“ We’re not sending you anywhere.” Katie looked at her. “As long as you’re happy here then you can stay. But if you’re not then…”

“I am…” she blurted out, before she looked down at the spot on the floor between her and Katie “I just…I’ve been bad and…”

“Emmy, look at me sweetie.” Katie sighed, shuffling forward a little and Emmy turned her brown eyes onto Katie’s.. “Stealing is bad, yeah. But we’re not gonna send you away for misbehaving. Yeah, ok, down the line there’s probably gonna be times we get cross and tell you off but that’s part of us all growing up and navigating this new family life. I promise you, with everything I have, that none of that will ever mean we’ll send you away.”

“But I’ve been really bad. I stole. A lot of money too…” Emmy began to sob again and Katie reached out for her, curling her arms around her as she sobbed against her shoulder. Steve made a moment as if to comfort her too but hastily pulled his hand away and Katie gave him a sympathetic look. She knew not being able to do something as simple as hug her was killing him. Instead he took a deep breath and spoke softly, his gentle baritone carrying over the sounds of her crying.

“We’re not bothered about the money.” Steve said as Katie looked at him as she rocked Emmy gently to and fro “We’re more bothered about the fact you felt so bad and that your first thought was to run away. You should have talked to us, Honey.”

 “I know.” Emmy sobbed, her face pressed into Katie’s neck. “I won’t do it again, I swear, I’m so sorry.” She turned her head to look at Steve “I’m sorry about your hand, I didn’t…”

“I’ve had worse.” Steve said, shaking his head as he flexed the fingers of his right hand. It was slightly painful, but he knew there would be no lasting damage.

“Yeah, like the time you put it through the stud wall in the Tower.”  Katie looked at him. He frowned, wondering why of all the times he had hurt himself she’d brought that up, but then he suddenly understood.”

“Well, it was a very vivid nightmare.” He shrugged and at that Emmy looked at him, swallowing.

“You had…you had nightmares?”

 “Still do sometimes.” He shrugged.

“What about?” Emmy looked at him, wiping her eyes.

“It used to be the War.” Steve said gently. “I don’t get those so much anymore. Now, well it’s mainly about the Snap.” He trailed off, looking at his hands. “I see all those people on that battlefield, our friends…”

“I get them too.” Katie said softly “About HYDRA.” She swallowed as Steve took a deep breath. “About Thanos. I lie awake sometimes, wondering if we could have done more…” she sniffed and her hand moved instinctively to her stomach, caressing the place their surprise baby had been before Thanos had cruelly ripped that away from them too and Steve looked down once more. To not even find out until after it had gone had been a double blow to the pair of them. “But the thing is Em…” Katie looked back at her “We deal with it by talking to one another. We have to, otherwise it would eat us up inside.”

“And I get that isn’t always easy.” Steve said, “Hell, in my day if you talked about stuff like that people looked at you like you belonged in a Bug House.”

“Steve…” Katie chastised his turn of phrase as Emmy gave a soft chuckle.

 “Well, it’s true.” He protested slightly, before he looked back at the dark haired girl, who still had her head laid against Katie’s shoulder. “And it took me awhile, almost a year actually, to open up to Katie…and even then I only did that because I fell asleep on her couch and had a night terror there.” He took a deep breath “But the point is Em, what I was worried about was Katie, or anyone else for that matter, thinking less of me if I did tell them what I was feeling, that it would make them believe I was weak because I was dreaming about all this stuff…but that’s not the case. It takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.”

Emmy looked at him and sniffled a little, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

“Whatever is going on up here…” Katie said gently, tapping at Emmy’s head with the arm that lay round her shoulders “We want to help. But we can’t if you don’t talk to us.” Emmy nodded gently, to show she understood as Katie continued. “So no matter what it is, how stupid you might feel, how dumbass you think it makes you sound, we want you to tell us. Or if not us, Nat or Bruce or Tony. Because then we can help, we can deal with it instead of getting ourselves into a situation like this again.”

“And we promise, and for the record, I’m Captain America ergo I can’t lie…” Steve looked at Emmy and she gave a little titter of a laugh “That no matter what it is, we’re not gonna go mad, or kick you out. We just want you to be honest with how you’re feeling, ok?”

Emmy swallowed and nodded, before the tears filled her eyes. “I know, I really am sorry….”

“We know you are.” Steve said softly as Katie pulled her close again. “It’s ok.”

“Think we can draw a line under this and move on?” Katie asked softly and Emmy nodded against her shoulder, sitting back and wiping her eyes.  

Steve looked around the spare room Emmy had taken up residency in. They’d found her a book shelf in one of the old rooms that was no longer used and brought that in for her, Tony had installed a state of the art flat screen TV which linked to FRIDAY on the wall so she could watch whatever she wanted, but it was still bare in a way. There was a lack of real personal touches to the décor, and to him it still didn’t feel like it belonged to her. And then he had a sudden idea “You know, if you are staying, I think this place could use a little personalisation.”

“What do you mean?” Emmy looked at him.

“Well, beige and cream is ok but…surely it could be a little more colourful.”  He mused looking around before he looked at Katie “What do you think honey?” Katie smiled and glanced at Emmy “You know what, I think Steve-O might be onto something.”

Emmy chuckled and then looked at Steve “What, so you mean we could paint it?”

Steve nodded “Yeah, maybe pick up a few other things.”

“I’d like a new lamp.” She said a little shyly.

“Why don’t you go to the hardware store tomorrow?” Katie looked at her, then to Steve “See what they have?”

Steve looked at Emmy “I’m game if you are kid.”

Emmy nodded again and smiled before Steve slapped his thighs with his hands “Ok, that’s settled…” he stood up off the bed and offered Katie his hand. He pulled her to his feet and then she did the same with Emmy.

“I’m gonna go wash my face.” Emmy said gently, “And then can I take Lucky for a walk? Just to the lake.”

“Sure. Why don’t you pop back in on Nat?” Katie suggested “Tell her I’m making tagliatelli for dinner. Should be ready for about 6-ish ok, so if you wanna stay with her until then, we’ll see you in the big kitchen.”

Emmy nodded as she headed to the door before Steve spoke again.

“You mind if I join you?” Steve asked “Just for a walk, I could do with stretching my legs, been sat in a Classroom all day with the new recruits….”

“Basically that means he hasn’t been running.” Katie said, winking at Emmy  “And you know he gets cranky if he doesn’t do something….”

“I do not.”

“You so do Steve-o.” Emmy agreed with Katie and Steve gave a dramatic sigh.

“I do not get cranky, I just get a little restless…”

“Whatever.” Katie shrugged. “Same thing.”

“No, it’s…they’re not the same at all.” Steve folded his arms and Emmy gave a giggle as Katie looked at him.

“See, you’re being cranky now. Cranky and argumentative.”

“Pot,Kettle Mrs Rogers.”

“Are you guys having a domestic?” Emmy smirked, folding her arms and Katie chuckled, before she leaned up and gave Steve a peck on the cheek.

“No, just reminding him who’s boss.”

“Yeah, that most certainly is not me.” Steve rolled his eyes and Emmy giggled.

As soon as she was gone Katie ran her hands down her face, where they came to rest over her nose and mouth before she looked at Steve.

“You ok?” he asked and she nodded, stepping forward into his arms. He dropped a kiss to the crown of her head and she pulled back.

“How’s your hand really?”

“A little sore but it’ll be fine in a coupl’a hours.” He shrugged “Nothing broken.”

“Do you need to ice it?”

“Nah.” He said, flexing his fingers. Katie took his hand and pressed her lips tenderly to the skin over the already slightly bruised knuckles and looked up at him.

“I can’t believe she thought we were gonna kick her out.” She said sadly.

“Yeah, but it’s done now.” Steve said “We told her not to dwell on it, so we need to follow our own advice ok.” His hands cupped her face gently and he smiled. “Stop drowning in here…” he said, kissing her temple and she laughed a little.

“I remember I used to say that to you.”

“Well its good advice” he smiled, and at that Emmy came back, her face looking slightly less tear stained.

“Ok, do you wanna go?” she asked looking at Steve and he nodded and turned to her.

“You bet.”

She turned and headed back down the corridor and Steve paused in the doorway, turning back to Katie.

“I love you sweetheart.” He smiled at he and Katie’s face split into a grin.

“Love you too Soldier.”

Katie felt Tony’s hand on her shoulder. “You get it now?”

She turned to him, tears stinging her eyes. “It takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.” She repeated Steve’s words. “This isn’t just about Emmy is it? You want me to realise I shouldn’t have tied to hide what I was feeling.”

“Well, like you so eloquently told Em, We deal with it by talking to one another. We have to, otherwise it would eat us up inside.” Tony smiled, reaching out and gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ears. “It’s good advice, you should take it.”

She sniffed and blinked away her tears as Tony wrapped his arms around her. She lay her head against his shoulder, breathing in his smell, his touch, his feel before she pulled away again. And this time she found herself outside the compound, on the large driveway, the setting sun made her squint slightly as it lit up the sky over the roof of the building that she had once called home in stunning streaks of orange, yellow, red and purple.

“So, now my little guided trip through life is over, is the bit where I click my heels together three times and say ‘there’s no place like home’?” Katie asked and Natasha snorted.

“Why would you do that?” Tony looked at her, before he gestured to his side. “Just drive.”

Katie glanced to her left and saw her Cameo was parked on the gravel driveway beside the Audi. She smiled “I love that care you know, I can’t bear to part with it.”

“I should think not.” Tony scoffed, clearly affronted at the simply idea of that.

“Only because you gave it to me.” She said quietly “It’s had a lot of work done, I don’t use it often but Jamie likes it. Rori too. She calls it the Kardasheen Car.”

“The what?” Tony looked at Katie and she shook her head.

“She saw an episode of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’, and now she’s obsessed, don’t ask.” She snorted “Ever since then it’s all about her nails, hair,  Barbies, blingy and expensive shit…drives Steve and Jamie mental.”

“You know I’m gutted I never got to meet her.” Tony mused “I sense we would have gotten along.”

“I tell her about you all the time, both of you.” Katie swallowed “She knows what her name means, and that she shares her Uncle Nee’s birthday…” she fell silent, the tears once more pricking her eyes “Please don’t go…” she whispered.  “I’m don’t want to say goodbye to you both. Not again.”

“Well then, don’t think of it as goodbye.” Tony wrinkled his nose, reaching up to wipe her cheeks with his thumbs. “More like a temporary parting of the ways.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before she stepped back, the tears coursing down her face and she turned to Natasha. The two women smiled at each other and then embraced. “Tell Clint I like my tree.” Nat said gently and Katie gave a little chuckle through her tears before she stepped back and nodded. She took a deep breath, stepped towards her car and then paused.

“Missing something?” Tony asked, waving the keys at her. With a smile she caught them as he tossed them over the roof of the car and took another look at her brother and best friend. The ache in her chest was growing stronger and although she KNEW this was a dream, it was so real, so vivid. The smells, touch, tastes, sounds were all assaulting her senses, and the fact Tony and Natasha were leaving her yet again was killing her.

But, as she opened the door to her Camero, another smell hit her. A mixture of sandalwood and citrus from Steve’s cologne, along with something slightly more gentle which she recognised instantly. She could smell her home. And she was suddenly overcome with a huge desire to be there, with her kids, with Steve and even that damned dog.

At the thought of Stark, she grinned. “Hey Tone, did you know we have a dog named after you?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “but I am awesome so…”

She rolled her eyes and looked at her brother, Natasha was now nowhere to be seen.

“So I just get in, and drive?” Katie asked.

“Yup.” Tony gave her a nod his eyes shining in the light “Exactly the same way you got here.”

She paused, and then rushed round from her car to give him one final hug. “I miss you every single day.” She stuttered, her breath catching in her throat.

“I know.” He smiled, his arms holding her close. “And I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

They stayed still for a moment, Tony’s chin resting on her head before she stepped back and looked into his brown eyes “I love you Tone. To the Stars...”

“…and back.” Tony smiled, his own eyes brimming with tears as he sniffed slightly before he stepped back and she moved back to her car “Hey Kiddo…”

She turned to face him and he raised an eyebrow “Next time you have an existential crisis, maybe try and dream up somewhere hot, sandy…I hear Fiji is nice.”

Katie snorted and he shot her one last wink before he climbed into the Audi as she settled in the driver’s seat of the Camero, not sure exactly what the fuck was going to happen when she started driving, but following Tony’s lead she turned on the engine and drove up the drive. As the cars drew to the end where the little lane joined the road she drew level with Tony’s audi and he shot her one last smile as he turned left, and she turned right.

Leaning over she turned the radio on and had to smile as ‘Drops of Jupiter’ rang out around her car.

Their song, hers and Tony’s. There wasn’t anything more perfect for the moment.

*****

“Em, keep an eye on this lot will you, I’m just gonna go put Floss down and wake your Ma.” Steve said. “Food should be here soon.”

“Sure.” Emmy nodded from where she was sat in the Den with Jamie, both of them mid game of Mario Karts. Harry was sat on the rug with a Tonka truck whilst Rori was busy at the little table by the patio doors, sticking something into the Crap Book.

“Come on, baby.” He spoke gently, Flossie nuzzling her face into his neck as he carried her up the stairs, feeling her yawn against his skin. He crossed the landing to her nursery and gently placed her in the crib, tucking the light blanket over her before he turned on the baby monitor and gently smoothed down her hair. Pulling the door to, he then made his way into their room and took a moment to look at Katie. She was led on her side, pillow clutched to her chest, her eye lids fluttering slightly. He moved towards the bed, and then frowned as she started to murmur.

“I love you Tone…” she sighed “To the Stars…”

Steve felt his heart catch, she was dreaming about her brother. He swallowed a little, the emotion of the moment washing over him and then she spoke again.

“Stevie…where..I can’t see you…”

At that he walked over the floor, the carpet plush beneath his sock clad feet, and sat on the bed besides her, gently shaking her shoulder.

“Katie, sweetheart, come on.”

With a gasp she sat bolt upright, her eyes flying open, frantically searching the room.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Steve smiled as her eyes locked onto his, her breathing deep “You alright?”

“Yeah, I…” she swallowed and took a huge gulp of air in “I was dreaming and…” she took another deep breath “Tony and Nat were there, and it was so real and…”

He gently smoothed her hair back “It was just a dream sweetheart.” He said and he wrapped her in his arms, his hands softly rubbing at her beck. He felt her relax into his hold and as she pressed her face into his chest, he heard her sniff and her shoulders began to shake as she started to cry. “Oh honey…” he soothed as her sobs grew stronger, and Steve felt a lump in his own throat as she pressed harder into him. He hated seeing her like this. It worried him, scared him even. To see her struggling as she was it hurt him, more so because there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it other than comfort her. Deciding that would have to do for now, he gently pulled her onto his lap and she pressed further into him. He wrapped his strong arms around her as he rest his chin on top of her head, all the time gently rocking her to and fro. “It’s ok, let it out. I got you.”

“I saw so many memories…” she whispered as he dropped a kiss to her hair. “From years ago.”

“Good ones?” he asked, his hands rubbing up and down her back.

“Some of them.” She nodded “Others…well…”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

She stayed silent before she pulled back and glanced up at him. “I was at the Compound, near our tree. And Tony and Nat appeared, said they had some stuff to show me. It was all like major moments and stuff…” she trailed off before she picked up again, laying her head back on his chest. “You weren’t in all of it, I went right back to before I even joined SHIELD. That was kind of nice actually, to see it from the outside so to speak. I found out it was Natasha that actually recommended me for recruitment, not Coulson as I thought…and the whole New Mexico thing with Thor was a ruse to get me to join…and then I saw the time we went to Niagara Falls.”

“Yeah?” Steve smiled softly and she nodded before she looked back up at him, her brow furrowed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to go into stasis?”

Steve paused, and then looked at her, blinking slightly at the shock of what she’d just said. “What?”

“I saw you with Fury, telling him you’d decided not to go into stasis. You told him what I said you that day at the Falls, you know that the world had changed but that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful…”

“How did…” Steve’s mouth dropped open. He’d never told anyone that SHILED had offered him the opportunity to go on Ice and be wheeled out when needed. As far as he knew that was between him and Fury.

“Nat and Tony told me that I was the reason you decided not to do it.” She looked at him. “Is that true?”

Steve swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Why did you not tell me?”

“I didn’t want to burden you.” He shrugged “You know, have you dealing with all the crap that was going on in my head. It wasn't your responsibility.”

“You were never a burden Steve.” Katie shook her head. “You were my friend, I cared about you.”

“I know, but at the time, well my head was all over the place.” He gave her a sad smile as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was overwhelmed. I felt insecure and unsure about everything and I couldn't cope. I lost seventy years, and everyone I knew or cared about and it was just too much.”

“I wish you’d told me, I could have helped.”

“You did.” He looked at her. “When I was around you, everything just became clearer and that day at Niagara, I realised I had to try and make it work. I can’t explain it any better than that, I just, decided to get busy living…”

“Shawshank.” Katie smiled and Steve let out a soft huff of a laugh as he nodded.

“Who told you?” Steve looked at her, “About the stasis thing?”

“I just said, I saw it in the dream.”

“Yeah, but someone must have told you before.” He pressed.

She shook her head “I never knew, not until I just saw it.”

Steve frowned, “How could you dream something you didn’t know about?”

She paused for a moment, and then shrugged. “I don’t know, I really don’t. Like I said, I had no idea it was Natasha that recruited me, or that the whole Thor thing was a set-up because they knew I’d turn them down until I saw something like that, something so whacked out that I couldn’t turn down the opportunity.” she looked at Steve “Maybe…, do you think I could have actually seen them? Nat and Tony I mean?”

“Honey, I…” he began to tell her that was ridiculous, but she spoke before he could.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter.” Katie shrugged, wiping at her eyes before she gave a chuckle “I slapped him, Tony I mean. For dying.” Steve arched an eyebrow, smiling a little before she carried on. “He was over the moon Parker ended up with Emmy, said they’ll make cute kids.”

Steve rolled his eyes and let out a groan “Seriously?”

Katie snorted “Yeah, and then demanded to know if we’d named Harry after Hank Pym…” she trailed off “Oh, and when I told him what you said about Rori, you know that she looks like me and has his attitude he was pretty pleased about the fact he’s been dead for seven years and still managing to bug the crap out of you.”

At that Steve laughed “Sounds about right.”

Katie chuckled a little before the memory of the last scene flashed across her mind and she took a deep breath “I also saw that afternoon at the compound, you know when Emmy had her meltdown after she stole and how you told her that it takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.” Katie whispered and Steve looked at her as she bowed her head “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner how I was feeling, I just thought I could cope and…”

“Hey, look.” He shook his head, his hands cupping her face “I should have noticed how bad things had gotten…”

“No, Steve…” she shook her head “I couldn’t even admit it to myself, how were you supposed to notice.”

“Because I’m your husband.” He said gently, his voice cracking. “It’s my job to look after you, help you, make you feel safe…”

“Oh Steve…” Katie moved so she was knelt up, and pressed her forehead to his “You do. More than you can ever know.” Her lips met his in a gentle kiss and she pulled back, her hand cupping his cheek. “I’ll make an appointment to see the doctor on Monday. Will you come with me?”

“Of course I will, you don’t need to ask.” He smiled, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her back into a hug. He kissed the top of her head again, and then pulled back. “I ordered dinner. I know you said you didn’t want anything but…well Em suggested a double cheeseburger might hit the spot.”

Katie grinned “Great, I’m starving.”

***** Katie was thrilled with the flowers the kids had picked for her, and thanked them all. Jamie gave her a huge hug, tearfully telling his mom he was sorry and that she was the best mom in the world and he loved her so much, before Emmy also apologised for being selfish and vowed never to do it again. And that was it, they drew a line under it and moved on. Because that was how things worked in the Rogers household. Together they sat and ate, chatted, joked, Steve all the time keeping one eye on Katie. He was glad she was feeling better, relieved that she’d agreed to get help, but the thing she’d said about him going into stasis was really, really puzzling him. How on EARTH could her subconscious drag up something she knew nothing about?

Excusing himself from the table under the guise of having left something in his car he wandered outside to take a little air and he felt Stark push past his legs. The dog bounded to the gate, where he stopped and peered through the wrought iron rails and gave a little whine, his ears picking up, tail wagging furiously.

“What is it, pal?” Steve asked, walking over to take a look and he frowned as the figure which was stood in the dark by the ornamental lamp that signalled the point where their driveway met the main road, and then another figure joined from the left, a female. The male turned to her, giving him a clear view of the outline of his profile and Steve swallowed. He’d recognise that nose anywhere, he looked at it on a daily basis on his wife’s face and that of three of his kids. As he watched, the shadowy figures turned to face him, the long hair of the female catching the light with a flash of firey red. Steve felt his heart thumping so strongly he thought it might beat out of his chest. He shook his head, blinked, rubbed his eyes and looked back.

Nothing.

Stark let out another whine, before he turned and headed back into the house, Steve hot on his tails.

“You alright Dad?” Emmy looked at him as she paused in the hallway, her hand on the door to the downstairs bathroom. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Two, actually.” Steve muttered, closing the door behind him.

What?” Emmy frowned.

“Nothing, sorry.” He shook his head “Ignore me.”

Emmy gave him another puzzled look before she shrugged and pulled open the door, disappearing into the bathroom.

“Do you think I could have really seen them? Nat and Tony I mean?”

Katie’s voice flashed across Steve’s mind as he stood still, wiping a hand over his face. Before it had sounded ludicrous, in fact it still did. Ghosts? Really? Was that where he was right now, that he was starting to believe in the supernatural?

Mind you, he’d seen stuff far more ludicrous really when he thought about it…but, no. Absolutely not. It had been a trick of the light, his mind toying with him after what had been a very, emotional day, nothing more.

He shook his head and walked back to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to observe his family as they sat round the table, Rori said something that made Jamie and Katie laugh, and Harry grinned along with them.

But, that said, if ghosts did exist… well then Steve couldn’t think of any other two people he’d rather have watching over them all.

 **Original Posting**

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Destiny

Chapter 5: It’s Good Advice, You Should Take It...

Chapter Summary: The final memory Tony and Natasha show Katie sees them back at the compound, in a moment Katie isn’t that keen to relive. And then the time comes for her to say goodbye to her brother and best friend all over again.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So this is it. The last Chapter of Stark Spangled Destiny. I hope y’all have enjoyed this little mini-series as much as I have writing it. As always, thanks for your continued support, comments and re-blogs, and of course for loving Katie, Steve and the kids as much as I do.

Katie looked at the door which led to their apartment in the compound. The familiar smells, noises, sights had all assaulted her senses the minute she had found herself here and she was swamped with a million and one memories of the place that for years they had called home, their private space contained just behind the glossy, dark wooden door she was stood in front of.

She looked at Tony who nodded, as did Natasha- the red head dropping a hand to Katie’s shoulder. With a deep breath she pressed her palm to the pad at the side and the door slid open and she stepped into the apartment, heading into hallway, taking a look around at the earthy tones it was decorated in. She moved further into the apartment, through to the open plan living area, taking everything in, including the large, canvas photo from their wedding day, the pair of them on the dance floor for their first dance, their heads pressed together, stupid grins on their face. The very same canvas now adorned the wall in their entrance hall of their home in Brooklyn, having been moved out of the living room to make way for the various photos of their family. “I do like that photo.” Natasha smiled and Katie looked at her, smiling herself.

“Me too.” She nodded before taking a deep breath, getting a hit of the wax burner she’d almost constantly had going, with the lingering smell of the Hugo Boss Steve had worn until a few years back when Emmy had informed him that the company had once-upon-a-time made Uniforms for the Nazis. Horrified, Steve had instantly stopped using it, swapping to Gucci Guilty instead, which Katie wasn’t complaining about. She preferred it.

“What am I doing here Tony?” Katie asked, turning to face him, but before he could reply Katie heard the door open to the bedroom. She looked up as Steve strolled in to the room from the hallway, yawning. His hair was shorter, face clean shaven and he was in a pair of sweats that hung off his hips, his top half bare showing off his physique. Katie took a moment, looking at him, taking in how damned young he looked, all the time biting her lip.

Besides her Tony rolled his eyes. “You’re drooling.”

“And?” she shrugged, moving to follow Steve into the kitchen area. His back muscles twitched as he reached up for the coffee and Katie gave a little groan. “I love it when he does that.”

“What, makes coffee?” Nat quipped nudging her, and Katie gave a snort.

“No, flexes his back…” she shrugged “I like it.”

“You know…you’re really fucking weird.” Tony concluded, before Katie gave a laugh which cut off as she caught a movement in her peripheral…

Steve heard a noise and turned round to see Katie padding her way into the kitchen, wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a camisole top, hair piled on top of her head. She yawned and gave him a tired smile.

“Hey beautiful.” He said, leaning down to give her a good morning kiss. “How’s Emmy?”

“Sleeping.” Katie sighed, rubbing her eyes as she yawned again “She finally drifted off about 3 am.”

Steve bit the inside of his lip as he looked down at the floor “You know, I really wish I could help. I feel so useless when she has those nightmares, because I can’t comfort her or…”

“Hey…” Katie shook her head, reaching out for his hands and lacing her fingers through his “You do help. You give her a safe home. She’ll come round in the end Steve, you’ll see. We just have to let her do it in her own time.”

“I know, you’re right.” Steve agreed, looking at his wife “Still doesn’t make me feel any better. You know, she’s been here almost 3 months now. Do we need to call anyone, try and get her some help or…”

Katie pondered for a moment before she shrugged “Honestly, I don’t know how she’d react to it. Maybe. Let’s just see how we go ok? Give it another couple of weeks and then if things don’t get any better we can call someone.”

“Ok.” Steve nodded before he took another deep breath “You want coffee?”

“Dur.” Katie smiled and he chuckled at his dumbass question. “Thought I’d do French Toast for breakfast, that sound ok or are you rushing to meet Rhodey?”

“No rush.” Steve shook his head “I don’t need to leave until 10..” Katie stood watching and turned to Tony. “I know exactly what this day is. This is when Emmy had her meltdown.”

Tony nodded “Yeah, poor kid.”

“It’s easy to forget how troubled she was when she arrived.” Natasha mused as the 3 of them watched as past Katie and Steve moved around the kitchen like a well-oiled machine and Katie had to smile. It was odd watching it from the outside and she’d never appreciated just how tactile Steve was with her. A touch on the arm here, a kiss to the cheek or neck there, but now she thought about it she realised he was still the same now. Like he deliberately looked for any excuse to touch her or show her affection.  That hadn’t waned in the slightest after 17 years of being together.

“Gross…” Tony grumbled as Natasha gave a chuckle when Steve stopped Katie and turned her to face him, giving her a deep kiss which was interrupted by Emmy.

“Sorry, didn’t realise you two were making out.” She said, as she pottered into the kitchen dressed in a pair of pyjamas.

“I was making breakfast.” Katie said, completely unabashed by Emmy’s dig. Steve, on the other hand, flushed red and looked down, suddenly realising he was topless.

“I’m gonna…” He trailed off before he made his way out of the kitchen and Katie looked at Emmy as she pulled open the fridge

“You want orange juice or apple, Em?”

“Orange please.” Emmy said, sitting on one of the high stools.  Katie poured her a glass, handing it to her. The 11 year old took it with a mumbled thanks and took a drink, her eyes trained on the surface of the breakfast bar. Katie watched her for a second before she stepped towards her slightly.

“You ok?” she asked, noticing the girl was unusually quiet. She’d come out of her shell a lot more recently but seemed today to be retreating back into it.

“Yeah, I’m just a little tired.” Emmy shrugged.

“I’m not surprised.” Katie said softly

“Sorry.” Emmy said quietly and Katie sighed..

“Em, there’s nothing to be sorry for.” She gently placed her hand on her shoulder “You can’t help what you dream about.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you both up.”

“Honestly, sweetheart it’s fine.” Katie said, “Now, I’m gonna make French toast for breakfast. That ok?”

Emmy nodded and took another drink of her orange juice before Katie turned back to her cooking, Emmy simply watching her. Normally she offered to help but today she was simply sat at the breakfast bar, observing and every so often her eyes would flick round the room. It was a change in demeanour Katie was painfully aware of but let it pass them by, allowing her to do what she felt she wanted, or needed as the case may be, to do.

Just as Katie was serving, Steve emerged fully dressed, hair damp from the shower. “This looks great, thanks honey.” He said, dropping a kiss to Katie’s cheek as she placed a plate in front of him whilst he pulled out a stool and sat down. Katie settled at the end of the bar, her own food in front of her and she noticed Emmy’s eyes flick from her to Steve before she looked down at her plate. Steve also clocked the look on her face and he glanced at Katie who shook her head telling him not to comment.

“So, what do you two have planned today?” Steve asked instead, breaking the silence.

When Emmy didn’t reply, Katie picked up the conversation. “I have a conference call at 11 for an hour with the guys at SIDE but other than that not much. I do need to go to the store though, that ok Em?”

Emmy shrugged “Fine.”

“I can always see if you can stay with Bruce or Nat.” Katie offered “I know you and Nat have been working through Friends on Netflix...”

Emmy looked at her “Ok, if I’m not too much of a burden.”

Steve frowned and looked at Katie before he glanced back at Em “Of course you’re not. Nat and Bruce love having you here as much as we do.”

Emmy turned her head to Steve, her eyes locking on his almost as if she was searching them to see if he was telling the truth. Eventually she nodded and turned back to her food. “Then if I can I’d like to stay here.”

“Sure.” Katie said, nodding. “To be honest, you can always stay here in your room anyway. FRIDAY is always on hand and if you need anything…” “Whatever is easier.”

“What do you want to do?” Katie asked, not a shred of impatience in her tone despite Emmy being obtuse. Emmy paused and then looked at her.

“The Common Room with Nat.” she said finally.

“Ok, then when I go down to the office at 11 I’ll ask her, ok?”

Emmy nodded. “Thanks.”

Steve looked at Katie once more, before the three of them resumed eating breakfast, Katie and Steve carrying the conversation for the most before Emmy finished and politely asked if she could be excused to wash up and get dressed. After Steve told her of course she could, she took her plate to the sink and then headed out.

“Ok, tell me I’m being overly sensitive but…” Steve began and Katie cut him off.

“She told me before she’s tired Steve.” She replied “She had a rough night, you know as well as anyone what night terrors can do.”

“Think that’s all it is?”

“Honestly I’ve no idea.” Katie sighed “But until she’s ready to talk what do we do? I’m not gonna keep pushing her as it will make it worse.”

Steve took a deep breath and Katie stood up, reaching for his plate but he stopped her, his hand gently wrapping around her wrist “I’ll do that. You go get yourself sorted.”

Katie smiled, dropped a kiss to his lips and headed out of the room. “I know where this is going…” Katie sighed, “I don’t…do I have to see it again?”

“Yup.” Tony said.

“Why?” she turned to her brother “Why is going over this particular day important?”

“Because it is.” Natasha said simply “You were questioning what the point of you being in your kids’ lives was.” She turned to Katie who met her gaze “You need to understand just how much of an impact you and Steve had on Emmy, and what your decision to let her stay with you meant for her, and her life. Things could have turned out very different.”

“I know that.” Katie sighed, exasperatedly.

“Do you?” Tony looked at her. “Do you really know or is it just something you think you know?”

Katie looked at him and let out a groan “Of course I know Tony, she was living on her own…”

“Ok…” Tony held his hands up. “But you’re gonna watch anyway.”

Katie let out a loud noise and when she turned back to the scene in front of her she noticed now that she was fully dressed, in jeans and a sweater and was fishing in the Gold Pineapple bowl. They watched as she fished her car keys from the bowl and then her wallet, opening it, giving an exasperated groan and yelling out the word “Fuck.”

“Potty mouth…” Tony looked at her and she shrugged.

“My cash was gone…” Katie looked at Tony. “You know, it seems like such an odd thing now but it was so rare in the year or so after the snap. I hardly ever used it, everything was by card.”

“People went into a frenzy, trying to withdraw what they could.” Nat shrugged.

“So much so they basically emptied every ATM in the country.” Tony mused “And to think they ridicule old people for stashing it under the mattress…”

Katie let out a deep breath watched herself ponder something before she headed out, phone in hand, as she closed the door behind her.

“Real informative.” Katie deadpanned, turning to Tony who shot her a scathing look. “Me looking at an empty wallet.”

“Shut up.” Tony rolled his eyes “I forgot what a sarcastic ass you are.”

“I learnt from the best.” She shot back. Natasha gave a chuckle.

“She’s not wrong Shell Head.”

“I hate you both.” Tony sulked, turning away from them as he strode towards the Golden Pineapple on the table. He bent to examine it before he gave a snort and looked back at Katie.

“Why the fuck did you buy this?” Tony looked at her.

“I told you about a thousand times.” Katie sighed “It was a joke between me and Steve. He still has it you know.”

“I don’t get it.” Tony shrugged.

“You won’t because it’s an in joke…” Katie groaned “Look, I know you haven’t brought me here to look at a fucking pineapple bowl.”

“Well I kinda did, in a way, but…” Tony shrugged and nodded back to the door.

Steve opened the door, his hair and shoulders were wet from the shower of rain which had chosen the exact moment he had gotten out of the car to start, and then the moment he’d entered the building to stop. Dropping his kit bag to the floor he peeled off his jacket and hung it on the peg by the door. He then kicked off his sneakers, and made his way into the living area where Katie was perched on the sofa, cross legged. Her hair was pulled up into a hap-hazard bun and her glasses were perched on her nose as she glanced down at the laptop which was resting on her knees, her feet placed on the edge of the coffee table. Sensing his presence as always, she turned over her shoulder to look at him and he smiled.

“You still working?” he asked, nodding to the laptop and she shook her head.

“No, well, sorta…I was looking at some figures but nothing major.” She said, tapping a button to save what she had been doing before she shut the laptop. Steve flopped onto the sofa next to her, leaning over to place a soft kiss to her lips. “Good day?” she asked.

“Not bad.” He shrugged “I might need to head away again for a while, looks like we’re focussing on another unit in Toronto.”

“How long for?”

“A week, maybe two.” He shrugged “That ok?”

“Yeah, of course.” She nodded “It needs to be done Steve, and like you said, if we don’t then…”

“I know.” He breathed out “Rather be here with you and Em though.”

She chuckled and turned to face him, “Soppy bastard.”

He shrugged before he leaned back against the cushion and she snuggled under his arm. “Speaking of Em, where is she?”

“Oh she’s with Bruce.” Katie replied “She spent a few hours with Nat and then she headed into the lab, she was showing her something to do with…actually, I don’t have a clue. Bruce did try to explain but it went right over my head. Something about energy extrapolation...I think.”

Steve laughed, his hand gently tracing shapes on her upper arm. “Is she feeling better.”

“I think so.” Katie sighed “Hard to gage. She was laughing with Nat when I came back from the store…oh, and that reminds me, Rogers.” She sat up and poked at his chest “Next time you’re gonna use me as your own personal ATM, can you at least warn me first?”

“What?” Steve looked at her, utterly baffled “Personal ATM…I don’t…”

“The cash you took from my wallet.” Katie arched an eyebrow “Not that it matters, everywhere is card, card, card now but you know I like to-“

“Baby…” Steve cut her off, shaking his head “I didn’t take any cash from you, I’ve still got some spare.”

Katie frowned “Well I know there was about two hundred bucks in there and now there’s nothing, so if you didn’t then…” She trailed off, sighing “Shit.”

“Ok, let’s not jump to conclusions.” Steve said, instantly understanding and Katie bit her lip.

“Who else could it be?” she took off her glasses and tossed them carelessly on top of her laptop, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“FRIDAY?” Steve asked.

“Yes Captain Rogers.” The AI responded.

“Has anyone else been in our quarters over the last 24 hours?” Steve asked the question, although deep down he already knew the answer. It was impossible for anyone to get into the compound without them knowing.

“Apart from yourself, Mrs Rogers and Miss McKellen that is a negative, Captain.”

Katie looked at him, “Now what do we do?”

Steve inhaled and let out a deep breath from his nose “Ok, we need to talk to her about it.”  Katie bit her lip before she stood up and Steve frowned “Where are you going?”

“To check her room.”

“Honey…” Steve started to protest but Katie stopped him dead with a look.

“No, Steve…I’m sorry but…” and with that she headed off down the hall. Steve let out a groan, before he followed her. Up until now Emmy had caused them no issues really in the grand scheme of things. The nightmares and panic attacks aside, ok and the melt down she’d Katie had taken her shopping as she refused to go back to her old foster home to pick anything up, she’d been great. Never complained, never moaned about anything, in fact she seemed positively grateful to be there, which was why this was such a shock to them both. And he still didn’t want to believe it.

However, when he watched Katie pulling a rucksack out of Emmy’s wardrobe, opening the front pocket to reveal the money the pair of them were forced to accept that she’d stolen from them. With tears in her eyes Katie opened the main part of the bag and then tossed it onto Emmy’s bed.

“Look.” She said gently. Steve moved, his hands parting the bag open slightly and he stared at the contents. Clothes, a few toiletries, some granola bars, a packet of cookies and bottles of water.

“You don’t think…” Steve swallowed “She was gonna run away?”

“What other explanation is there?” Katie’s voice was a sad whisper, and the look on her face broke Steve’s heart. “I don’t get it, I mean is she that unhappy here that she’d rather take her chances out there alone?”

Steve had nothing to say. There was nothing he could say, because he felt as helpless and as lost as Katie here. Of the hundreds of missions he’d faced, his various dances with death and that flighty temptress fear, nothing had ever prepared him for how he felt then. He had no Plan A, let alone a Plan B.

Katie swallowed and looked at Tony. “You know, looking back on all of this…it has to be one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had no idea what to do for the best…”

“Well whatever you did worked out.” Tony said simply, as they watched past Katie and Steve head out of Emmy’s room, Steve clutching Emmy’s bag in one hand, his other gently placed on the curve of Katie’s back.

Katie sighed heavily and shook her head “I really don’t want to see this next bit. Please, I get it…”

“No, you don’t.” Nat said simply and looked at her “You won’t get it until you see it from this point of view.”

“Why?”

“Stop being awkward.” Tony sighed, “Just watch will you, save the questions until after.”

Katie glared at the pair of them before she stalked out of Emmy’s room just in time to see the girl herself walk into the apartment. Lucky padded out of the open plan living area and into the hallway to say greet her. She pet his head and then headed into the living room. Taking a deep breath, as she could remember this next bit like it had happened only yesterday, Katie followed her.

Emmy stopped dead as she saw her rucksack perched on the large oak dining table which was situated in front of the bi-folding doors, behind the sofa. Steve looked up at her from where he and Katie had been sat, both with a mug of tea in their hands, trying to decide how they dealt with the situation.

“You been going through my stuff?” Emmy glared at them both, her arms folded.

“Emmy…” Katie sighed “Sit down.”

“No.”

“Sit.” Steve instructed, his voice a little more stern than Katie’s and Emmy looked at him, her chin jutting out defiantly.

“I said no.”

“Fine, don’t” Katie shrugged “But to answer your question, yes we did go through your stuff…because I was looking for something. Some money that went missing.”

“And you just assumed I took it.” She glared at them both “I get it, the bad foster kid…”

“Oh Emmy stop!” Steve said exasperatedly “For your information, no, we didn’t just assume. We checked with FRIDAY. No one bar us three has been in the apartment. So unless you’re suggesting Lucky stole it then…”

Emmy glanced at Steve and then looked at the floor as from behind the bag, Katie pushed the wad of cash across the table. Emmy glanced up and took a deep breath, at least having the good grace to look remorseful.

“Why did you take it?” Katie asked.

Emmy stayed quiet for a little while before she shrugged “In case I need it.”

“What do you need two hundred bucks for?” Steve asked, his tone softer than it had been before. “Do you owe it to someone? Are you in trouble?”

“No.”

“Then explain to us Em.” Katie sighed, “If you need something or want something, all you gotta do is ask. Not steal from us.”

“I just do…ok?”

“For when you run away you mean?” Steve looked at her “Yes, we checked the rest of your bag.”

“You…you had no right to go through my stuff!” Emmy’s voice raised and Steve felt his temper beginning to rise. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of what she’d been through. Under the table, Katie squeezed his knee gently and he looked away from Emmy, ensuring he kept his composure.

“We didn’t want to.” Katie looked at her “But Em, you stole from us. And you were planning on running away. I don’t get it. Are you not happy here? Do you want to leave?”

Emmy looked down at her feet but didn’t answer.

“This is getting us nowhere.” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Emmy we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what the problem is.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be here!” she said, her voice raising “You’re the one that made me come!”

“Yeah, because you were about to get yourself in trouble…” Steve protested but she cut him off.

“Yeah, yeah, Captain America…can’t bear to see anyone doing anything wrong.” She glared at him and Steve felt the nerve in his jaw twitch “Where were you when we actually needed you huh?”

“Emily…” Katie frowned “That’s not fair…”

Steve looked down at the table, shaking his head “You know exactly where we were…”

“I don’t mean the fight, or whatever…” She blazed “I mean after! It took people months to realise I was on my own, and I’m not the only one.”

“I know!” Katie shook her head “But we had a lot to deal with, why do you think I’m working so hard with setting up these homes?”

“Yeah, great coz that’s what kids like me need isn’t it, to be dumped back in a home.” Emmy shook her head “God this is so shit.”

“Ok, that’s enough.” Steve snapped. “Emmy that day in the store, I brought you back here to try and help and we’ve done nothing but accommodate you. We put a roof over your head, fed you, clothed you…Katie’s sat up countless nights with you when you’ve had nightmares…and this is how you repay us?”

“Sorry I didn’t realised you wanted payment…” Emmy glared at him. “What do you want? I have no money…I could always work the streets, you know, turn hooker…”

“Oh for…” Steve finally snapped, he stood up quickly, his chair clattering to the floor behind him as he turned away, drawing his hands over his face.

Simultaneously, Emmy’s eyes widened and she stepped back further away, an action Katie spotted.

“Emmmy…” she began and Steve turned back round.One look at Emmy’s petrified face made his heart sink. He’d frightened her. That hadn’t been his intention, far from it but as he stepped towards her to try and calm her down, she retreated away, moving backwards towards the door before she turned and bolted out of the room.

“Shit.” Steve mumbled, and in a flash he was after her “Emmy…”

“Get away from me!” she screamed, running into her room. “Leave me alone…”

“Em…” Katie was behind Steve, “Emily, just listen…”

But she was having none of it. She reached her room and made to slam the door, and Steve knew she’d lock it if she did so acting on instinct he reached out and stuck his hand straight in between the door and the frame. It slammed straight onto his fingers, and he gave a grimace, gritting his teeth slightly as Emmy screamed and repeated the motion. But he never once made a sound. Katie had tears in her eyes as she looked at Steve and as Emmy made to slam the door on his hand for a 3rd time he reached up with his left one, and placed the palm flat on the wood stopping it dead. He pushed gently, making it swing back open and Katie moved past him into the room.

“Emmy what’s going on?” she asked, “Please, you need to talk to us.”

“You want me to leave!” Emmy cried, as she slumped to the floor in the corner of the room, hugging her knees to her chest.

“No, no we don’t.” Katie insisted, kneeling in front of her, as Steve strode into the room quietly, sitting on the end of Emmy’s bed in an attempt to make himself slightly less imposing in the space of the room.

“I heard you!” Emmy screamed, “I heard you earlier, saying that you’d give it another couple of weeks before you called someone to come and take me and…”

“Woah, woah, woah…” Steve held his hand up, cutting her off. “Emmy, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“Don’t fucking LIE TO ME!”

“Emmy, he isn’t!” Katie insisted, “That wasn’t about sending you away, it was about getting you help with your nightmares, babe.”

Silence fell over the room and Emmy’s mouth clamped shut, her large brown eyes blinking as she looked at Katie then to Steve.

“It’s true.” He said softly “It was my idea.”

“So you don’t wanna send me to a home?” Emmy asked quietly, her tears trickling down her face.

“No, sweetheart, we don’t.” Katie said, her own eyes spilling over as she reached up to wipe Emmy’s tears away “Look, we weren’t gonna tell you until it was all sorted out but a week ago a place for you opened at one of the homes that SIDE has been organising, but…” she took a deep breath and looked at Steve who licked his lips.

“We don’t want you to leave Em.”  He finished for Katie “So, we’ve applied to the Authorities to make this your permanent Foster Home.”

“You did?” Emmy’s voice was a whisper and both Katie and Steve nodded.

“We’re not sending you anywhere.” Katie looked at her “As long as you’re happy here then you can stay. But if you’re not then…”

“I am…” she blurted out, before she looked down at the spot on the floor between her and Katie “I just…I’ve been bad and…”

“Emmy, look at me sweetie.” Katie sighed, shuffling forward a little and Emmy turned her brown eyes onto Katie’s.. “Stealing is bad, yeah. But we’re not gonna send you away for misbehaving. Yeah, ok, down the line there’s probably gonna be times we get cross and tell you off but that’s part of us all growing up and navigating this new family life. I promise you, with everything I have, that none of that will ever mean we’ll send you away.”

“But I’ve been really bad. I stole. A lot of money too…” Emmy began to sob again and Katie reached out for her, curling her arms around her as she sobbed against her shoulder. Steve made a moment as if to comfort her too but hastily pulled his hand away and Katie gave him a sympathetic look. She knew not being able to do something as simple as hug her was killing him. Instead he took a deep breath and spoke softly, his gentle baritone carrying over the sounds of her crying.

“We’re not bothered about the money.” Steve said as Katie looked at him as she rocked Emmy gently to and fro “We’re more bothered about the fact you felt so bad and that your first thought was to run away. You should have talked to us honey.”

 “I know.” Emmy sobbed, her face pressed into Katie’s neck “I won’t do it again, I swear, I’m so sorry.” She turned her head to look at Steve “I’m sorry about your hand, I didn’t…”

“I’ve had worse.” Steve said, shaking his head as he flexed the fingers of his right hand. It was slightly painful, but he knew there would be no lasting damage.

“Yeah, like the time you put it through the stud wall in the Tower.”  Katie looked at him. He frowned, wondering why of all the times he had hurt himself she’d brought that up, but then he suddenly understood.”

“Well, it was a very vivid nightmare.” He shrugged and at that Emmy looked at him, swallowing.

“You had…you had nightmares?”

 “Still do sometimes.” He shrugged

“What about?” Emmy looked at him, wiping her eyes.

“It used to be the War.” Steve said gently “I don’t get those so much anymore. Now, well it’s mainly about the Snap.” He trailed off, looking at his hands. “I see all those people on that battlefield…our friends…”

“I get them too.” Katie said softly “About HYDRA…” she swallowed as Steve took a deep breath “About Thanos.I lie awake sometimes, wondering if we could have done more…” she sniffed and her hand moved instinctively to her stomach, caressing the place their surprise baby had been before Thanos had cruelly ripped that away from them too and Steve looked down once more. To not even find out until after it had gone had been a double blow to the pair of them. “But the thing is Em…” Katie looked back at her “We deal with it by talking to one another. We have to, otherwise it would eat us up inside.”

“And I get that isn’t always easy.” Steve said, “Hell, in my day if you talked about stuff like that people looked at you like you belonged in a Bug House.”

“Steve…” Katie chastised his turn of phrase as Emmy gave a soft chuckle.  “Well, it’s true.” He protested slightly, before he looked back at the dark haired girl, who still had her head laid against Katie’s shoulder. “And it took me awhile, almost a year actually, to open up to Katie…and even then I only did that because I fell asleep on her couch and had a night terror there.” He took a deep breath “But the point is Em, what I was worried about was Katie, or anyone else for that matter, thinking less of me if I did tell them what I was feeling, that it would make them believe I was weak because I was dreaming about all this stuff…but that’s not the case. It takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.”

Emmy looked at him and sniffled a little, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

“Whatever is going on up here…” Katie said gently, tapping at Emmy’s head with the arm that lay round her shoulders “We want to help. But we can’t if you don’t talk to us.” Emmy nodded gently, to show she understood as Katie continued. “So no matter what it is, how stupid you might feel, how dumbass you think it makes you sound, we want you to tell us. Or if not us, Nat or Bruce or Tony. Because then we can help, we can deal with it instead of getting ourselves into a situation like this again.”

“And we promise, and for the record, I’m Captain America ergo I can’t lie…” Steve looked at Emmy and she gave a little titter of a laugh “That no matter what it is, we’re not gonna go mad, or kick you out. We just want you to be honest with how you’re feeling, ok?”

Emmy swallowed and nodded, before the tears filled her eyes. “I know, I really am sorry….”

“We know you are.” Steve said softly as Katie pulled her close again. “It’s ok.” “Think we can draw a line under this and move on?” Katie asked softly and Emmy nodded against her shoulder, sitting back and wiping her eyes.  

Steve looked around the spare room Emmy had taken up residency in. They’d found her a book shelf in one of the old rooms that was no longer used and brought that in for her, Tony had installed a state of the art flat screen TV which linked to FRIDAY on the wall so she could watch whatever she wanted, but it was still bare in a way. There was a lack of real personal touches to the décor, and to him it still didn’t feel like it belonged to her. And then he had a sudden idea “You know, if you are staying, I think this place could use a little personalisation.”

“What do you mean?” Emmy looked at him.

“Well, beige and cream is ok but…surely it could be a little more colourful.”  He mused looking around before he looked at Katie “What do you think honey?”

Katie smiled and glanced at Emmy “You know what, I think Steve-O might be onto something.”

Emmy chuckled and then looked at Steve “What, so you mean we could paint it?”

Steve nodded “Yeah, maybe pick up a few other things.”

“I’d like a new lamp.” She said a little shyly.

“Why don’t you go to the hardware store tomorrow?” Katie looked at her, then to Steve “See what they have?”

Steve looked at Emmy “I’m game if you are kid.”

Emmy nodded again and smiled before Steve slapped his thighs with his hands “Ok, that’s settled…” he stood up off the bed and offered Katie his hand. He pulled her to his feet and then she did the same with Emmy.

“I’m gonna go wash my face.” Emmy said gently, “And then can I take Lucky for a walk? Just to the lake.”

“Sure. Why don’t you pop back in on Nat?” Katie suggested “Tell her I’m making tagliatelli for dinner. Should be ready for about 6-ish ok, so if you wanna stay with her until then, we’ll see you in the big kitchen.”

Emmy nodded as she headed to the door before Steve spoke again.

“You mind if I join you?” Steve asked “Just for a walk, I could do with stretching my legs, been sat in a Classroom all day with the new recruits….”

“Basically that means he hasn’t been running.” Katie said, winking at Emmy  “And you know he gets cranky if he doesn’t do something….”

“I do not.”

“You so do Steve-o.” Emmy agreed with Katie and Steve gave a dramatic sigh.

“I do not get cranky, I just get a little restless…”

“Whatever.” Katie shrugged. “Same thing.”

“No, it’s…they’re not the same at all.” Steve folded his arms and Emmy gave a giggle as Katie looked at him.

“See, you’re being cranky now. Cranky and argumentative.”

“Pot,Kettle Mrs Rogers.”

“Are you guys having a domestic?” Emmy smirked, folding her arms and Katie chuckled, before she leaned up and gave Steve a peck on the cheek.

“No, just reminding him who’s boss.”

“Yeah, that most certainly is not me.” Steve rolled his eyes and Emmy giggled.

As soon as she was gone Katie ran her hands down her face, where they came to rest over her nose and mouth before she looked at Steve.

“You ok?” he asked and she nodded, stepping forward into his arms. He dropped a kiss to the crown of her head and she pulled back.

“How’s your hand really?”

“A little sore but it’ll be fine in a coupl’a hours.” He shrugged “Nothing broken.”

“Do you need to ice it?”

“Nah.” He said, flexing his fingers. Katie took his hand and pressed her lips tenderly to the skin over the already slightly bruised knuckles and looked up at him.

“I can’t believe she thought we were gonna kick her out.” She said sadly.

“Yeah, but it’s done now.” Steve said “We told her not to dwell on it, so we need to follow our own advice ok.” His hands cupped her face gently and he smiled “Stop drowning in here…” he said, kissing her temple and she laughed a little.

“I remember I used to say that to you.”

“Well its good advice” he smiled, and at that Emmy came back, her face looking slightly less tear stained.

“Ok, do you wanna go?” she asked looking at Steve and he nodded and turned to her.

“You bet.”

She turned and headed back down the corridor and Steve paused in the doorway, turning back to Katie.

“I love you sweetheart.” He smiled at he and Katie’s face split into a grin.

“Love you too Soldier.”

Katie felt Tony’s hand on her shoulder. “You get it now?”

She turned to him, tears stinging her eyes. “It takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.” She repeated Steve’s words. “This isn’t just about Emmy is it? You want me to realise I shouldn’t have tied to hide what I was feeling.”

“Well, like you so eloquently told Em, We deal with it by talking to one another. We have to, otherwise it would eat us up inside.” Tony smiled, reaching out and gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ears “It’s good advice, you should take it.”

She sniffed and blinked away her tears as Tony wrapped his arms around her. She lay her head against his shoulder, breathing in his smell, his touch, his feel before she pulled away again. And this time she found herself outside the compound, on the large driveway, the setting sun made her squint slightly as it lit up the sky over the roof of the building that she had once called home in stunning streaks of orange, yellow, red and purple.

“So, now my little guided trip through life is over, is the bit where I click my heels together three times and say ‘there’s no place like home’?” Katie asked and Natasha snorted.

“Why would you do that?” Tony looked at her, before he gestured to his side “Just drive.”

Katie glanced to her left and saw her Cameo was parked on the gravel driveway, to the side of the Audi. She smiled “I love that care you know, I can’t bear to part with it.”

“I should think not.” Tony said, clearly affronted at the simply idea of that.

“Only because you gave it to me.” She said quietly “It’s had a lot of work done, I don’t use it often but Jamie likes it. Rori too. She calls it the Kardasheen Car.”

“The what?” Tony looked at Katie and she shook her head.

“She saw an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and now she’s obsessed, don’t ask.” She snorted “Ever since then it’s all about her nails, hair,  Barbies, blingy and expensive shit…drives Steve and Jamie mental.”

“You know I’m gutted I never got to meet her.” Tony mused “I sense we would have gotten along.”

“I tell her about you all the time, both of you.” Katie swallowed “She knows what her name means, and that she shares her Uncle Nee’s birthday…” she fell silent, the tears once more pricking her eyes “Please don’t go…” she whispered.  “I’m don’t want to say goodbye to you both. Not again.”

“Well then, don’t think of it as goodbye.” Tony wrinkled his nose, reaching up to wipe her cheeks with his thumbs. “More like a temporary parting of the ways.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before she stepped back, the tears coursing down her face and she turned to Natasha. The two women smiled at each other and then embraced. 

“Tell Clint I like my tree.” Nat said gently and Katie gave a little chuckle through her tears before she stepped back and nodded. She took a deep breath, stepped towards her car and them paused.

“Missing something?” Tony asked, waving the keys at her. With a smile she caught them as he tossed them over the roof of the car and took another look at her brother and best friend. The ache in her chest was growing stronger and although she KNEW this was a dream, it was so real, so vivid. The smells, touch, tastes, sounds were all assaulting her senses, and the fact Tony and Natasha were leaving her yet again was killing her.

But as she opened the door to her Camero another smell hit her. A mixture of sandalwood and citrus from Steve’s cologne, along with something slightly more gentle which she recognised instantly. She could smell her home. And she was suddenly overcome with a huge desire to be there, with her kids, with Steve…and even that damned dog. At the thought of Stark, she grinned.

“Hey Tone…did you know we have a dog named after you?”

“Yeah…”he shrugged “But I am awesome so..”

She rolled her eyes and looked at her brother, Natasha was now nowhere to be seen.

“So I just get in, and drive?” Katie asked.

“Yup.” Tony gave her a nod his eyes shining in the light “Exactly the same way you got here.”

She paused, and then rushed round from her car to give him one final hug. “I miss you every single day.” She said, her breath catching in her throat.

“I know.” he smiled, his arms holding her close. “And I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

They stayed still for a moment, Tony’s chin resting on her head before she stepped back and looked into his brown eyes “I love you Tone. To the Stars...”

“…and back” Tony smiled, his own eyes brimming with tears as he sniffed slightly before he stepped back and she moved back to her car “Hey Kiddo…”

She turned to face him and he raised an eyebrow “Next time you have an existential crisis, maybe try and dream up somewhere hot, sandy…I hear Fiji is nice.”

Katie snorted and he shot her one last wink before he climbed into the Audi as she settled in the driver’s seat of the Camero, not sure exactly what the fuck was going to happen when she started driving, but following Tony’s lead she turned on the engine and drove up the drive. As the cars drew to the end where the little lane joined the road she drew level with Tony’s audi and he shot her one last smile as he turned left, and she turned right.

Leaning over she turned the radio on and had to smile as Drops of Jupiter rang out around her car.

Their song, hers and Tony’s. There wasn’t anything more perfect for the moment.

*****

“Em, keep an eye on this lot will you, I’m just gonna go put Floss down and wake your Ma.” Steve said, “Food should be here soon.”

“Sure.” Emmy nodded from where she was sat in the Den with Jamie, both of them mid game of Mario Karts. Harry was sat on the rug with a tonka truck whilst Rori was busy at the little table by the patio doors, sticking something into the Crap Book.

“Come on baby.” He said gently, Flossie nuzzling her face into his neck as he carried her up the stairs, feeling her yawn against his skin. He crossed the landing to her nursery and gently placed her in the crib, tucking the light blanket over her before he turned on the baby monitor and gently smoothed down her hair. Pulling the door to, he then made his way into their room and took a moment to look at Katie. She was led on her side, pillow clutched to her chest, her eye lids fluttering slightly. He moved towards the bed, and then frowned as she started to murmur.

“I love you Tone…” she sighed “To the Stars…”

Steve felt his heart catch, she was dreaming about her brother. He swallowed a little, the emotion of the moment washing over him and then she spoke again. “Stevie..where..I can’t see you…”

At that he walked over the floor, the carpet plush beneath his sock clad feet, and sat on the bed besides her, gently shaking her shoulder.

“Katie, sweetheart…come on.”

With a gasp she sat bolt upright, her eyes flying open, frantically searching the room.

“Hey, it’s ok…” Steve said as her eyes locked onto his, her breathing deep “You alright?”

“Yeah, I…” she swallowed and took a huge gulp of air in “I was dreaming and…” she took another deep breath “Tony and Nat were there, and it was so real and…”

He gently smoothed her hair back “It was just a dream sweetheart.” He said and he wrapped her in his arms, his hands softly rubbing at her beck. He felt her relax into his hold and as she pressed her face into his chest, he heard her sniff and her shoulders began to shake as she started to cry. “Oh honey…” he soothed as her sobs grew stronger, and Steve felt a lump in his own throat as she pressed harder into him. He hated seeing her like this. It worried him, scared him even. To see her struggling as she was it hurt him, more so because there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it other than comfort her. Deciding that would have to do for now, he gently pulled her onto his lap and she pressed further into him. He wrapped his strong arms around her as he rest his chin on top of her head, all the time gently rocking her to and fro. “It’s ok, let it out. I got you.”

“I saw so many memories…” she whispered as he dropped a kiss to her hair. “From years ago.”

“Good ones?” he asked, his hands rubbing up and down her back.

“Some of them.” She nodded “Others…well…”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

She stayed silent before she pulled back and glanced up at him “I was at the Compound, near our tree. And Tony and Nat appeared, said they had some stuff to show me. It was all like major moments and stuff…” she trailed off before she picked up again, laying her head back on his chest. “You weren’t in all of it, I went right back to before I even joined SHIELD. That was kind of nice actually, to see it from the outside so to speak. I found out it was Natasha that actually recommended me for recruitment, not Coulson as I thought…and the whole New Mexico thing with Thor was a ruse to get me to join…and then I saw the time we went to Niagara Falls.”

“Yeah?” Steve smiled softly and she nodded before she looked back up at him, her brow furrowed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to go into Stasis?”

Steve paused, and then looked at her, blinking slightly at the shock of what she’d just said. “What?”

“I saw you with Fury, telling him you’d decided not to go into stasis. You told him what I said you that day at the Falls, you know that the world had changed but that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful…”

“How did…” Steve’s mouth dropped open. He’d never told anyone that SHILED had offered him the opportunity to go on Ice and be wheeled out when needed. As far as he knew that was between him and Fury.

“Nat and Tony told me that I was the reason you decided not to do it.” She looked at him. “Is that true?”

Steve swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Why did you not tell me?”

“I didn’t want to burden you.” He shrugged “You know, have you dealing with all the crap that was going on in my head. It wasn't your responsibility.”

“You were never a burden Steve.” Katie shook her head “You were my friend, I cared about you.”

“I know, but at the time, well my head was all over the place.” He gave her a sad smile as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was overwhelmed. I felt insecure and unsure about everything and I couldn't cope. I lost 70 years, and everyone I knew or cared about and it was just too much.”

“I wish you’d told me, I could have helped.”

“You did” he looked at her. “When I was around you, everything just became clearer and that day at Niagara, I realised I had to try and make it work. I can’t explain it any better than that, I just, decided to get busy living…”

“Shawshank.” Katie smiled and Steve let out a soft huff of a laugh as he nodded.

“Who told you?” Steve looked at her, “About the Stasis thing?”

“I just said, I saw it in the dream.” 

“Yeah, but someone must have told you before.” He pressed.

She shook her head “I never knew, not until I just saw it.”

Steve frowned, “How could you dream something you didn’t know about?”

She paused for a moment, and then shrugged. “I don’t know, I really don’t. Like I said, I had no idea it was Natasha that recruited me, or that the whole Thor thing was a set-up because they knew I’d turn them down until I saw something like that, something so whacked out that I couldn’t turn down the opportunity.” she looked at Steve “Maybe…, do you think I could have actually seen them? Nat and Tony I mean?”

“Honey, I…” he began to tell her that was ridiculous, but she spoke before he could. 

“You know what, it doesn’t matter.” Katie shrugged, wiping at her eyes before she gave a chuckle “I slapped him, Tony I mean. For dying.” Steve arched an eyebrow, smiling a little before she carried on “he was over the moon Parker ended up with Emmy, said they’ll make cute kids.”

Steve rolled his eyes and let out a groan “Seriously?”

Katie snorted “Yeah, and then demanded to know if we’d named Harry after Hank Pym…” she trailed off “Oh, and when I told him what you said about Rori, you know that she looks like me and has his attitude he was pretty pleased about the fact he’s been dead for 7 years and still managing to bug the crap out of you.”

At that Steve laughed “Sounds about right.”

Katie chuckled a little before the memory of the last scene flashed across her mind and she took a deep breath “I also saw that afternoon at the compound, you know when Emmy had her meltdown after she stole and how you told her that it takes an even stronger person to face up to their fears and admit they’re struggling or scared.”  Katie whispered and Steve looked at her as she bowed her head “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner how I was feeling, I just thought I could cope and…”

“Hey, look.” He shook his head, his hands cupping her face “I should have noticed how bad things had gotten…”

“No, Steve…” she shook her head “I couldn’t even admit it to myself, how were you supposed to notice.”

“Because I’m your husband.” He said gently, his voice cracking. “It’s my job to look after you, help you, make you feel safe…”

“Oh Steve…” Katie moved so she was knelt up, and pressed her forehead to his “You do. More than you can ever know.” Her lips met his in a gentle kiss and she pulled back, her hand cupping his cheek. “I’ll make an appointment to see the doctor on Monday. Will you come with me?”

“Of course I will, you don’t need to ask.” He smiled, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her back into a hug. He kissed the top of her head again, and then pulled back. “I ordered dinner. I know you said you didn’t want anything but…well Em suggested a double cheeseburger might hit the spot.”

Katie grinned “Great, I’m starving.”

***** Katie was thrilled with the flowers the kids had picked for her, and thanked them all. Jamie gave her a huge hug, tearfully telling his mom he was sorry and that she was the best mom in the world and he loved her so much, before Emmy also apologised for being selfish and vowed never to do it again. And that was it, they drew a line under it and moved on. Because that was how things worked in the Rogers household. Together they sat and ate, chatted, joked, Steve all the time keeping one eye on Katie. He was glad she was feeling better, relieved that she’d agreed to get help, but the thing she’d said about him going into stasis was really, really puzzling him. How on EARTH could her subconscious drag up something she knew nothing about?

Excusing himself from the table under the guise of having left something in his car he wandered outside to take a little air and he felt Stark push past his legs. The dog bounded to the gate, where he stopped and peered through the wrought iron rails and gave a little whine, his ears picking up, tail wagging furiously.

“What is it buddy?” Steve asked, walking over to take a look and he frowned as the figure which was stood in the dark by the ornamental lamp that signalled the point where their driveway met the main road, and then another figure joined from the left, a female. The male turned to her, giving him a clear view of the outline of his profile and Steve swallowed. He’d recognise that nose anywhere, he looked at it on a daily basis on his wife’s face and that of 3 of his kids. As he watched the shadowy figures turned to face him, the long hair of the female catching the light with a flash of firey red. With a smooth action, the male raised his hand to his head and saluted, as the female folder her arms, her legs parting slightly as she took up a relaxed stance, both actions oh so painfully familiar...

Steve felt his heart thumping so strongly he thought it might beat out of his chest. He shook his head, blinked, rubbed his eyes and looked back.

Nothing.

Stark let out another whine, before he turned and headed back into the house, Steve hot on his tails.

“You alright Dad?” Emmy looked at him as she paused in the hallway, her hand on the door to the downstairs bathroom. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“2 actually.” Steve muttered, closing the door behind him.

“What?” Emmy frowned.

“Nothing, sorry.” He shook his head “Ignore me.”

Emmy gave him another puzzled look before she shrugged and pulled open the door, disappearing into the bathroom.

“Do you think I could have really seen them? Nat and Tony I mean?”

Katie’s voice flashed across Steve’s mind as he stood still, wiping a hand over his face. Before it had sounded ludicrous, in fact it still did. Ghosts? Really? Was that where he was right now, that he was starting to believe in the supernatural?

Mind you, he’d seen stuff far more ludicrous really when he thought about it…but, no. Absolutely not. It had been a trick of the light, his mind toying with him after what had been a very, emotional day, nothing more.

He shook his head and walked back to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to observe his family as they sat round the table, Rori said something that made Jamie and Katie laugh, and Harry grinned along with them.

But that said, if ghosts did exist… well then Steve couldn’t think of any other two people he’d rather have watching over them.

[rhoeysama]

The “lack of romantic vibes” between Jonathan and Nancy in early S2: why it makes sense

I often see the complaint about Nancy and Jonathan in Season 2 and "not displaying affection/romantic vibes" prior to the big scene, and that their romance was badly written because that kiss seemed “forced” and “out of nowhere” or “rushed”. I understand this complaint, and I’ve agreed with it up until now, and I’ve actually changed my mind, so I thought I'd like to address it and share my thoughts on why I disagree. This is going to be a long one, so I’m placing it under a ‘read more’, and because, well, spoilers. 

So, for starters. I agree that their relationship up until episode 6 was very tell and not show. But the hints were there constantly, even if most of their interaction was very business-like as they acquired the tape recorder, called Barb’s mother, and went on their road trip.

Season 1 set the tone for their relationship, and showed us clearly that they had a strong bond, a connection, that would eventually lead to something more. Even though Season 1 ended with Nancy and Steve together again, it was not a definite happily-ever-after for either Nancy or Jonathan. 

In season 2, the very first interaction the two share is basically Nancy punching Jonathan in the gut with a party invitation flyer and telling him (not asking!) that he's coming to the party, period. When he says he’s not interested in “getting sheet faced”, she says “Just come!” She wants him there; he doesn’t have to get “sheet faced”, just show up is all that matters. Not just for her sake, but because he should allow himself to be more social and meet people, after everything he’s been going through as well. So, he reluctantly attends the party. 

(Just as a parenthesis: imagine how much differently that evening would have played out if Jonathan would've showed up sooner, before Nancy had a chance to go on a binger and get wasted.)

There weren't any palpable romantic vibes or sexual tension between the two up until episode 6, it’s true. But it should be no surprise or wonder, considering that Nancy was not in the romantic kind of headspace AT ALL; she was on a quest to avenge her dead best friend, whose death she had been mourning and blaming herself for - and Steve, to some extent ("we killed Barb"). Jonathan at least got his brother back. But Nancy lost her dearest and closest friend (who was probably the closest thing she had to a sister), and carried the guilt of not only having been responsible for it, but also having to look Barb's parents in the eyes each week, eating their food, in their house (where she no doubt had plenty of memories growing up), pretty much lying straight to their faces about their daughter and feeding into their false hopes of finding her, while everyone else had just forgotten about Barb altogether, like she never even existed. 

The pain and burden of all of that was eating away at Nancy day by day, to the point that she could no longer function normally; it was haunting her and it was all she could ever think of, but had to pretend that everything was okay. Jonathan was the only one who knew what she was going through (having himself felt the guilt of not being there for Will and blaming himself for his brother's disappearance), and the only one whom she could trust, who was also willing to cooperate and help her set things right, at least for her own and Barb's parents' sake. She couldn’t do everything, but she had to do something, and Jonathan had her back, despite her telling him that he shouldn’t feel obligated to help her out.

The only thing on her mind was to carry out a dangerous plan that could potentially get them both killed or detained indefinitely without trial, as Steve had said: "These people can do whatever they want". After all, they DID fake Will’s death, what would stop them from making Nancy and Jonathan disappear?

So, my point is: it's not exactly the right time or situation for a love confession.

They had forced their romantic feelings aside, because what took priority was the humongous task at hand, which they could not afford to blow!

It was at that motel room, as things were winding down for the night, after a long day of traveling and plotting, that Nancy was brought out of her preoccupation and reminded of Jonathan's presence, their past experiences, and her unspoken feelings for him. That was the first time in probably a long time that she allowed herself to touch the subject and bring it up with him.

"Don't you think it's weird how we only seem to hang out when the world's about to end?"

"It's not going to end."

"Feels like it..." she says with a sigh.

Because that's how she feels about her own life, her own world. She was talking about herself. Because this is said before they know about Will being possessed, before they know about the sheer scale of the Upside Down’s spread in their world, and the failure of Hawkins Lab to contain it. 

For a little while, comparing their scars where they’d deliberately cut their hands, she's reminded of the history that they share, and her feelings for him. She wonders what happened to the two of them, why they suddenly stopped being "us” after everything they went through together, and reveals that she waited for him to make a move; to tell her that it wasn’t just her who felt the way she did. But he never made the move, ultimately causing her to seek comfort in Steve's arms instead. Sure, she cared for Steve deeply, and he was good to her, and she liked him well enough. But she didn't really love him, their whole relationship didn’t really feel right, but she probably pushed that feeling out of her mind as well, only delaying the inevitable. That conversation in the motel room didn’t amount to much, because on top of everything on Nancy’s mind already, Jonathan (quite obtusely) complains that she “only waited a month”, rubbing more salt in her wound, and making her think that it was over and done with, that he had moved on, that he probably didn’t share her feelings.

Enter Murray. He is the one who eventually gets them to confront not just the corrupt government and expose its lies and cover-ups, but also their feelings for each other, and their own lies and cover-ups, their bullshitting of each other as well as themselves.

Having taken a serious step towards accomplishing their goal, both of them let their guard down and allowed for a celebration with drinks. And with everything they had told Murray, and from what he could tell from their body language (the shared glances, finishing each other’s sentences, constant physical closeness, etc), he put the pieces together, and told them what he saw, taking them both by surprise and getting under their skin.

“We’re just friends”. 

“You’re young, attractive, you have chemistry, history, plus, the real shit: shared trauma.” 

In other words: what’s holding you back?

It forced them to start thinking about their feelings for each other again, and what all of it really means for them. Nancy started realizing that maybe Jonathan just wasn’t brave enough to make the first move, and Jonathan probably also understood that Nancy was in a similar position. What Murray had said got them thinking that maybe this whole time, what they thought had been extinguished between them was still there, but simply hindered by their own fears. 

The weight of everything comes crashing down onto them like poorly assembled IKEA furniture, until they can no longer just ignore it and hold back anymore.

Nancy has always been someone who focuses on a goal and sees it through till the end, be it with her grades, her plans, or just like the first time she shot a gun; she focused, aimed, pulled the trigger and hit the can. This is why she shoots right out of bed, bolts straight for the door, only to be shocked to find Jonathan standing there, who had the same idea as her: maybe Murray is just drunk and full of it, but in the off chance that there’s truth to what he said, if he doesn’t take his chances now and find out, he probably never will. 

This is why their “business-like”, focused, serious demeanor and lack of flirting/affection prior to the big kiss makes a lot of sense. But I’m of course curious to hear your thoughts if you disagree or agree or whatever.