#if it really takes so many spoons to explain or u just dont feel like it. which is valid

[normal-thoughts-official]

[image ID #1: a tweet by @xaviersonline, which reads:

""it's not my job to educate you"

*googles the issue*

"Hi, I'm Dennis Prager""

#2: a comic divided in two panels. first one shows a person with a beard and a downcut wearing a T-shirt that reads "this is what feminism looks like". they are saying:

"you want to learn more? what do you want. a trophy? yeah totally thanks for not being TOTAL human garbage round of applause for u

it's not my job to educate you.

I don't exist to serve you.

white people like you always ask questions, which is proof of how being white is bad

how about you go google feminism it should be pretty easy to get a grasp of what is expected of you quickly"

the second panel shows a balding, fat person with a swastika on their shirt. they are saying:

"you want to know more? awesome!

what do you want me to educate you about first?

do you want to know about scientific arguments for racism?

wait let me get my muslim rape statistics

the sjws have infiltrated the media and academia so i'm the only educator you can trust i will teach you everything". end ID]

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[bnha-butterfly]

Hi! Aaaaa it says reqs are open so? Dbdbbff could i pls request the twins suna and kita with a trans male autistic s/o? Like headcanons on how they interact with him or whatever u want really tbh jdndfnn just ignore this if i did it wrong and sorry if i was specific enough. Ty in advance!

 Kita, Suna, Atsamu, Osamu with an autistic trans male s/o

Hi hi random ask again fnfnf so u said u prob might take a while to get around to my request so i figured if i sent this ask in to give further detail it wouldnt like really screw with anything bc u havent started working on it yet? Presumably? Hdhdhf when i sent my req in i didnt really have anything specific in mind outside of general autism but! I did think of more details that i havent seen really talked about in general (in all kinda autism content and discussions ngl) so uh what do u think about adding to my request "low functioning" s/o like cant go to school or get a job bc its just so stressful and s/o cant cope type stuff (bc whenever theres autism representation its always the more "higher functioning" end of things which is like not everyones autism? Like its like that very one dimensional type of autism rep when theres so many different ways it affects ppl and - i am not going to go on a rant in an ask jesus christ im so sorry djdhfh) and dealing with some rejection sensitivity dysphroia/rsd?? Bc these are topics that dont really get covered and all fnfnfn its ok if u dont want/cant add this to my req tho im sorry for just randomly springing more details on you dhdhfb also sorry this is really long and wordy and if its hard to understand i tried to write it in a way thatd make sense dnfjf i just wanted to send this for your consideration ok ty! Sjdjfh 💚💚 💚

A/n - Just as a heads up I try to keep my blog as functioning label free as possible cus they lowkey make me uncomfy (don’t worry I didn’t have it in my rules so it's okay!) I’ll explain why they make me uncomfy/ why I hate them in a different post if anyone wants to know why. 

Kita Shinsuke

  This man always has a stim toy. Realistically he probably has a little pouch in his book bag that he carries with him everywhere that is just full of stim items. There’s a stress ball , a fidget cube and a few other things

Whenever you feel dysphoric he will literally remind you about how handsome you are. I mean like stand you in front of the mirror and point out all of his favorite parts of you

Definitely reminds you to be kind to your body and your brain cus they’re doing the best they can

If he has to cancel plans with you he always makes it up to you and tells you that he’d rather spend time with you.

Kita is so understanding and caring. He understands that school and work aren’t really an option for everyone for different reasons and he definitely understands that both are designed for neurotypical people.

Suna Rintaro

Rin keeps an extra pair of headphones on him at all times for if you get overwhelmed 

If you ever mention to him that you’re going to sleep or if he sending you a good night text he always reminds you to take off your binder

Sometimes he wants to hangout with the team and has to turn you down. He knows RSD can make turning down spending time together feel like a kick in the face so he always promises to spend time with you later and tell you he loves you

If you ever have a low spoons + dysphoria type of day he’s coming over and spending time with you in bed. He’s bringing some of your favorite snacks/drinks/food and one of his hoodies that still smell like him. 

His love language is quality time so he probably takes you on a lot of dates. Especially if they have something to do with your special interest or hyper fixation

Miya Osamu

He learns how to cook all of your safe foods just the way you like it.

Every morning you are greeted with a kiss to your temple and a sleepy Osamu grumbling a soft “good morning handsome” to you.

He understands that work isn’t really for you. But, sometimes he’ll take you with him to the onigiri shop with him to keep him company. 

This man would move heaven and earth to see you happy everyday without hesitation. 

He’s super responsive to all boundaries you have. Don’t want to be touched or cuddled a certain way? Okay. Need him to give you space after a meltdown/shutdown or on extremely dysphoria days? No problem.

Miya Atsumu

If you are nonverbal/semi verbal he definitely made you communication cards. He gave them to you for either an anniversary or your birthday and they are super well done. They’re laminated their color coated and they’re just lovely

He’s such a good listener. He could listen to you talk all day and never get tired. Whether it’s you just talking about insecurities while in bed together or him listening to you talk about a hyperfixation/ special interest you know he’s always willing to listen. 

Insecurities who??? Not with Atsumu around. If he is not kissing away your insecurities he’s making you “laugh away the bad vibes”. 

He always reminds you how much he loves you. He literally will not leave for practice until he gets a kiss and tells you he loves you, it’s gotten him in trouble for being late a few times but he always says he’d do it again. (and he always ends up doing it again)

[blxetsi]

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

[muwur]

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection  

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)    

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind  

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses  

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it  

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep    

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix! 

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[lavendersage]

i saw that post from the girl who's girlfriend isn't quite ready to be out. if ur blog didnt seem to celebrate love of all kinds (and i'm not talking straight vs gay, i'm talking happy vs sad) i would have kept this to myself, but between ur response and the op's story itself, i think im going to take this chance of sharing a burden on my heart, maybe to help someone else, or just for the shot at becoming at peace with it. a couple weeks ago, when u asked for everyone to send u stories of their lovers, i wrote most of this out but didnt send it.

i (21F) am a college student (god, is this reddit?). my entire life, i have cultivated the cleanest good girl image that i could. my parents sacrificed so much for my sister and i to grow up far more comfortable then they did, so i have tried to honor them with a little golden child they could brag about. straight As, never missed school, did community service, perfect SATs. i worked tirelessly to be on-paper perfect.

one of the reasons i've worked so hard to earn Good Noodle Stars is to make up for the fact that i am terminally homosexual. i realized real early that i could literally cure cancer and the first comment on the news video will be, "okay, she cured cancer, but at least I'm not gay like she is." i could raise thousands for charity, and my aunts would still say, "our kids may not get off the couch but at least they have sex correctly." so they dont know. few people do, none outside my closest circle.

in walks Mars(21NB). Mars is an anachronism. they are both a romantic with and without a capital R. be still my Dark Academia heart.

we got very close before school broke for Covid. Mars wrote me a letter every other week, encrypted and folded so that the only way to open them was to rip a paper seam that would show if someone had tampered with it. it was intoxicating. it was the first time i felt able to communicate freely about anything. i dont know - i didnt hold back my emotions, emboldened by writing in cipher. i spent all summer waiting for those red sealed envelopes, filled with stories and poetry and honeyed nonsense, and i refused to not respond with mirrored passion.

it was all great until it set in that I was going to have to face Mars again, in person. i prayed our school would decide all students had to stay remote. of course I wanted to see Mars, i want to do much more than just see them, but i knew it would only be a matter of time between us being reunited and them asking me out.

this was a person who crafted a puzzle where the answers were flowers that were a declaration of fidelity in Victorian Flower Language. of course i ate that up with a spoon. u would have too. listen, i know all aesthetics are fads and all fads age badly, but if the cottagecore girls get to learn to sew and bake and grow, i owe dark academia for teaching me the vocabulary and actions of my most treasured relationship yet, and giving me permission to be earnest and vulnerable in this life for 10 goddamn minutes. Mars is handsome and a genius and i was not used to feeling connected to anyone. but for all that joy, i was also drowning with the thought of having to break their heart by explaining i cant date anyone AFAB.

so the semester starts. Mars asks me over for a homecooked meal since restaurants don't exist here at the end of the world. they made me a beautiful dinner with all my dietary needs in mind. just like everything else i ate it up. and i made no effort to stop them from inviting me over for food and conversation again and again and a fourth time just to make sure it really hurt.

they kissed me after the last dinner. and I kissed them back, before stopping. they apologized for moving too quickly, but i explained that they had moved at the perfect pace, just with the wrong person.

there is no nice ending to this. it's real life. Mars took it as a breakup and didnt reach out to me again. i sobbed from halloween to christmas, i swear. i'm the villain in this story.

i started this post off as a sign of solidarity to the other young lady, but now im realizing that this letter would be better read by her fearful beloved, not her. it is 4am where i live, so i apologize if this has all gotten away from me.

love is a garden u have to water yourself. ngl, my favorite part about this blog is all the posts about learning to love yourself, learning to see ur intrinsic value dispite the core facets of u that have been deemed flaws, and trust the relationship between me, myself, and i.

i started out telling myself i was writing this to help the high school kid, but i havent shared this with anyone. writing this out has helped me process a thing or two, or at least start to. i like this idea of lavendersage being a kindly cryptid who will alchemise ur heartache into calm.

i hope you dont mind if i try to make this a thing.

my story is in the shape of a love letter. its tearstained before it even hits the water. i drop it in your river and watch it float away.

y’all are breaking my heart with these stories this week 🤧i feel so sad to read them and so helpless to respond, because i know how deep that pain must run and i don’t know if there’s truly anything i could say or do to take it away. but if i can lessen it from 100 to 99, well, then i’ll have fulfilled my goal of existing on this website. at the very least, i’m glad that writing this message helped you process some things on your own, but i’m happy to share my thoughts anyway.

your mars sounds like a top tier human being. victorian flower language? i’m swooning. it’s no surprise to me that you fell for them, and they were clearly head over heels for you. folks don’t make grand gestures like that for just anyone, that’s for sure 🥺

and i’m very sad to hear about the way things ended. but, anon, i can’t help but wonder if it is indeed over, or if hope exists on the precipice of a great act of bravery performed by you--something i know from experience is much easier said than done, and something i’ve failed to do in the past, so i’m not trying to be a hypocrite here. the ball is definitely in your court, though.

also...it doesn’t sit well with me to hear you call yourself a villain. i understand why you see it that way, as it’s clear that you deeply care for this person. but for many folks...the fear of what our family will say or think or do weighs so heavily on us that it robs us of any possibility of happiness with someone who isn’t the kind of person our family wants us to end up with. i’m sure plenty of folks, myself included, can empathize with this. and i’m sure on some level, mars does too.

my love, as with all things, i hope whatever happens next works out for the best, and that you don’t let this experience darken your heart. if things change between you and mars, please feel free to drop me a note. i’ll always be here to listen 💚💚💚`

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

[starrysence]

chanting: SPAL BERT SPAL BERT SPAL BERT

what is???? spoon berry???? AKSJDJS IM KIDDING I LOVE SPALBERT HERE WE GO

warnings: mention of abuse + implied depression

×××

●ok so they both?? like? struggle w/ expressing their emotions verbally (spot a little more than albert), like in face-to-face conversation ▪modern era they wouldnt have a problem texting each other "ily" or "i love u" etc but they wont be able to say it out loud for a little while▪no problem showing physical affection tho●hoo boi are these boys physical▪what they lack in being verbal they make up for in kisses/hugs/hand holding/other stuff like that u know▪albert usually initiates physical contact bc he's so touch-starved▪when theyre both new to their relationship he does little things like hold spot's hand and trace shapes on the back of it ▪also draping his arm around spot's shoulders and running his fingers through his hair▪spot will never admit it but it drives him crazy●theyre both Very Athletic▪they just seem like the athletic type▪gonna be real i dont know SHIT about 99% of the sports on this planet so dont expect too much detail▪al loves track n dance and spot loves football▪actually al can run rlly fast it's kind of frightening▪extremely well defined muscles from dance▪def into ballet, modern, tap, jazz▪spot can hardly dance▪he knows ballroom dance bc of a class medda made him take and Thats It▪but hes really good at football▪works out. on the daily.▪al works out almost every day but some days he can barely bring himself to get out of bed and spot gets that▪al isnt one of those people who feels better after exercising bc he can barely get himself to do jt▪but he'll read a good book and listen to some nice music and thats his happy place▪sometimes he'll actually just pick spot up out of nowhere and nyoom y'know●a couple months into their relationship is when al tells spot hes adopted ▪spot is surprised bc al couldve told him earlier???? since he knows spot is adopted too▪but albert explains that he was scared bc telling someone hes adopted makes him feel like he has to tell them abt the shit his biological parents did to him

▪so spot tells him that he isnt being forced to talk about it if it makes him feel uncomfortable, and starts Panicking when albert starts crying▪hes all "did i say something wrong???" and albert shakes his head and just tells him that it means a lot that he said that▪now he is significantly ess Panicked▪and albert just like. pulls him into a hug and hes always down for that●neither of them like the snow very much●they stay inside wrapped in every blanket they can find in the house sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows in it and candy canes on the cup●spot is Ready to watch christmas movies on november 1st but al is in post-halloween denial and depression for at least the first 10 days of november▪it makes for a lot of arguments▪"i want to watch white christmas!!!!!!"▪"you can but i REFUSE"▪"can we look for a christmas tree-"▪"nOt YeT"▪spot would Actually Fight Al if he didnt love him so much●albert owns So Many sweaters▪spot does too but he loves to steal albert's▪"am i ever gonna get that back"▪"no probably not"▪"ok cool"●al is the first one to use a pet name▪spot gets really red and cant speak for like 3 minutes the first time albert calls him "babe"▪al is getting a LAUGH outta this hes never seen spot like this before▪"babe youre so cute when you blush oh my god"▪"sH ut up dasilva"▪"whatever you say babe"●spot is the first one to say "i love you"▪he gets really scared bc for a minute there albert is really quiet and just sitting there staring at his hands ▪but then he kisses spot so softly on the lips and spot's just like "o h" in the back of his mind▪and they both pull away after a few minutes and al is smiling really wide and he kisses spot's neck and whispers "i love you, too, spot"●al can bake▪spot Can Not▪spot's amazing at cooking tho▪but hes bitter bc so is albert▪it'll be al's turn to cook dinner one night and spot is eating a cookie from a batch albert baked earlier and hes just like "fuck you"▪"what?"

▪spot gestures to al with the half eaten cookie in his hand and speaks through a mouthful, "you can do both. it’s uNFAIR"▪al dies laughing ●uhhhh hh albert plays guitar and is way better at songwriting than he likes to admit ▪actually spot doesnt even know al writes song until he sees his songbook lying around and decides to look through it a lil▪he loves hearing al play with or without singing▪never hesitates to tell al how freakiNg good he sounds and albert blushes and smiles every time and replies "thanks" rlly softly▪it makes spot's heart melt. every damn time. and he cant help but just kiss his boy▪one time after al finishes playing a song he looks at spot and smiles and hes like "that one was about you"▪spot near CRIES▪ofc. kisses. he loves his bf so much▪eventually he has to be like "put the guitar away albert" so they can go further

●ngl albert proposes at 3am without entirely meaning to

▪like he has a ring n stuff but he was planning to propose on a cute date or something

▪but y'know they cant sleep so theyre in bed talking 

▪"you know what, spot?"

▪"what?"

▪"we should totally get married one day. like. it would be so cool. sean and albert conlon-dasilva"

▪"did you just. actually fucking propose to me at," he turns to check the clock and then turns back to face albert, "3:16 in the fucking morning"

▪albert turns around to grab the ring box out of his nightstand and turns back to face spot before opening it

▪".......yes"

▪what a disaster

▪spot loves him

×××

here u go juls!!!!!! this got really long ajshdsjs so i hope u like it

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete--donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’ll be happy to add you.]

[huangels]

i won't let you down - mark

request: Can I request a Mark fluff? I just really need some fluff and maybe some humor too because I’ve been having the worst week. Thank you (◕ᴗ ◕✿)

a/n: aww i hope you’re ok!! and i hope this helps you or cheers you up !?? (also i think i’ve seen this idea in a show or something but i thought it’s cute and funny?) (also pt2 sorry if this pic seems a lil rushed, i tried to write it before my class lol) (also pt3 sorry for any typos or mistakes :p)

summary: The most popular boy in school, Mark, takes interest in you and decides to confess after years of admiration. Though, the way he confesses can use a little more work. 

genre: fluff, humor

warnings: none

word count: 2.2k

You fidget around with the metal lock of your school locker while explaining to your best friend about a math assignment for your next class.

"So, you basically just cancel out the x and then add-. Hey! Are you even listening to me?" you say putting your books away into the now opened locker, but see that your best friend is staring at the direction of the entrance of your school. You then notice that everyone else in the hallway is also looking in the same direction. They all seem to be gawking at someone, girls whispering and giggling to each other. Curious, you look as well and see a boy walking down the hall overflowing with confidence, a smirk plastered on his golden face.

"Oh my god, he's gorgeous," you hear a group of girls say, waving at the boy as he strolls past them. He doesn't wave back but shoots them a quick wink before continuing down the hall.  

"Y/N! Look at him! Mark is such a god, I swear he gets more and more attractive each day," your best friend blabbers on, shaking your shoulders rapidly. With a "tsk," you brush off her hands but don't respond, taking out your math book before slamming the locker door closed.

Math is near the entrance of the school, which means that you have to walk pass Mark. Without waiting for your friend, you walk towards him, yet avoiding his gaze. Everyone else in the hallway is frozen, you two being the only things in motion. Right as you walk past Mark, you meet his daring brown eyes for a split second. He expects you to stop as he turns toward your direction, but you quickly break the eye contact and continue walking to class.

As can be clearly seen, Mark is the most popular and attractive student in your high school. Although he is really good looking and all, you can't see why everyone fangirls over him as if he is some idol. You don't care much for time-wasting high school relationships or drama anyway. You'd much rather focus on graduating high school, applying for multiple scholarships to your dream university, attending said dream university, so you can just live a wealthy and plentiful life with ease. Though, with this mindset, your friends call you the 'nerd'. You roll your eyes and shake your head free from the thought.

Having math first thing in the morning is always a pain in the butt. You slouch in your seat, hand under your chin, as you stare off into space. The teacher babbles on about derivatives and integrals, but you tune it out, toying with your pencil. Your mind wanders with its freedom from not paying attention to the lecture. For some odd reason, it wanders to Mark, who isn't even in your current class.

Mark and you have been attending the same schools ever since the first grade, along with many other people of course, since you all live in a small town. You do have to admit Mark has grown up beautifully throughout his years you've known him, with curly hazelnut hair, thick eyebrows, large eyes, and chiseled features. It would not come to a shock if Mark actually does become an idol somehow. He does already have what seems like fans surrounding him anyway.

Over the 12 years of school with Mark, you both have crossed paths more than you would like to admit. Mark is always outgoing in a way where he wants to befriend everyone, at least that was what it was like when he was young. During your first few years of school, you and Mark were close friends, but not to the point of hanging out outside of school though. It was after Mark started gaining more friends and becoming popular that you slowly distanced yourself, not wanting to share the spotlight, or even be in it at all. For years, Mark still talks to you, but now in a teasing and sometimes insulting way. It seems as if he became more arrogant with the on growing fans that he has. It annoys you every time he would stop you in the hallways or in class just to point out that your hair is a mess or your school uniform isn't tucked in all the way. It makes you feel uncomfortable and slightly irritated so you try not to cross paths with him in school.

Soon, lunchtime rolls around as you get pulled back into reality, away from your thoughts. You make your way to the end of the lunch line in the large cafeteria, looking over the heads of students to see how long the line is. There are many people already waiting and you question yourself how they got here so quickly. Then, people start lining up behind you as well. The line moves slowly, but eventually, you reach where the food is being distributed.

You grab a plastic tray and start packing the school food onto your platter. Your school, surprisingly, has many varieties of foods to choose from and they don't taste that bad either. Your glad because your stomach grumbles in anticipation of food.

You reach for an apple but see another hand reach for the same apple. Your palm lands on the red fruit first. Both of the hands touch as you look up to see who it is. Mark stares back down at you, his mouth is slightly opened and a dazed expression spread upon his face. You quietly cough, causing him shake his head before retreating his hand from its position on top of yours.

You pick up the apple and place it on his tray as you glance up at Mark, flashing a small smile.

"T-thanks," Mark stutters before you continue forward in the line. I thought he was the almighty most popular guy in school? You silently chuckle, facing the front of the line.

Shortly, you reach the register at the front of the line. You're about to pull out your wallet from your backpack until a hand, that's holding a credit card, reaches past you. The lunch woman hesitantly takes it and swipes before you can say anything, then hands it back to the owner. You whip your head around to find Mark taking back his card and putting it away in his wallet.

A small "Uhh" is all that comes out of your mouth.

"Don't worry about it," Mark coolly remarks before winking. He quickly pays for himself and leaves the line, heading towards the lunch tables. You regain all your senses before bowing your head to the lunch lady and making your way to your own seat, heart rate racing unknowingly.

"Hey Y/N, what's up?" your friend asks as you sit down with a blank expression. You sigh and stretch your arms over your head once you set your tray onto the crowded table filled with different lunch foods.

"Nothing much, boys are just...weird," you answer, plopping a spoonful of macaroni and cheese in your mouth. Your friends 'oooo's' and smirks at you.

"Someone has a crush," one of them sings teasingly, with a wiggle of an eyebrow. You roll your eyes but unconsciously bite your lips.

"No, you douche baguette," you say stuffing more macaroni in your mouth, not wanting to have to further think about it. "I said they're weird, not 'I want to make out with every single one of them'."

Your friends laugh as a couple of them elbow each other with the 'yeah right' face. You kick them under the table and continue with your lunch, ignoring their stupid comments.

As your friends instantly move on from the topic, now chattering about some music artist, you're left quietly eating your lunch, with different thoughts ramming around in your head that you don't quite understand, or want. For some reason, you're curious as to where Mark sits during lunch since you've never paid much attention to him. You look up and scan the school courtyard. All the students are huddled in their own cliques and friends groups. You spot who you assume are Mark's friends, but he isn't with them. He's probably off somewhere flirting with other girls or buying their lunches too, you scoff.

After everyone finishes lunch, the class bell rings. You stop by your locker to grab your textbooks but pause when you see some roses sticking out of the little slit openings on your locker. You look around the hallway with scrunched eyebrows, but everyone else is either walking to class or minding their own business. This is my locker right? I mean I did forget once and tried to open someone else's locker.

You slowly approach your locker, as if someone will pop out and yell, "It's a prank bro!"

Warily, you collect the few roses and examine them. Nothing that seems like it can kill me, that's good...

You let out a short breath before opening your locker. A folded up note lays on top of your textbooks. Your head tilts to the side as you place the roses down to grab the note. It's a simple note, written on a ripped off piece of loose leave paper from some notebook. You unfold it and start reading.

To the beuatiful, Y/N:

Im writing this note to explain to you how I feel (at least Ill try) I am starting to fall for you and it is driving me crazy becuz I cant seem to tell u how I really feel, It might seem weird but you've just caught my eye ever since the begining. Im starting to develope stronge feelings towards you, and I dont know why

I love you're eyes, you're smile, you're hair, and your laugh! When I here your voice my heart skips a beet.

I need to kno how u feel about me? Could you posibbly feel the same towards me? or can this never be? I just want u too be mine. I want to be able too say that ur mine girl. Well now you know that I am secretly falling in love with you. I just wish I could hear those same words from u. Maybe one day I will but until than I guess all I can do is wait. Please, dont make me wait to long!

Love,

Mark :D

You scrunch your eyebrows at all of the errors. This kid...

The late bell rings as you fold back the note before you have any time to criticize it and head to class.

The last class of the day is reading and you guys don't do much in the class. The teacher gives the class 'free time' to do other homework or start reading the book we're assigned to. You try to focus on reading the book, but all that crosses your mind is the confession letter Mark gave you. He seems so cool, how can he look like such dumbass and make so many errors? What does he learn in school? Nothing apparently...

You take out a red pen and start writing on Mark's note.

The final school bell sounds as you pack up your bag and set out to find Mark, folded note in hand. It doesn't take you long to find him since he's waiting for you right outside your classroom door. You almost run into him. Mark flashes a smile before pulling you aside by your wrist, away from the door as students are exiting to go home. He has the biggest look of anticipation on his face, eyes wide and lips spread from side to side. Without saying a word, you hand him back the folded note. He raises an eyebrow but takes it and starts reading. A long sigh escapes his mouth.

"I gave you the most heartfelt and sincere love letter, but you returned it to me with spelling and punctuation corrections?!" he exclaims, looking down at me with an unimpressed expression.

"How heartfelt and sincere is it really if you didn't even proofread," you mock with your arms crossed over the blazer of your school uniform, a smile teasing your lips.

"Well, I wrote it quickly because I had to run to the convenience store down the street to buy roses and I had to put them all in your locker before lunch ended," he explains, face falling for a split second. He averts his attention to the floor, leg bouncing hastily.

A small grin grows on your face as you say, "What do you do in your classes, dummy? You should be paying attention or something. I couldn't take it seriously with all the errors."

Mark bites down on the sides of his cheeks as they hollow out.

"However, I will let you redeem yourself...with a date," you say with a big smile. Mark quickly looks up at you, his face gleams and he smiles brightly.

"I won't let you down!" Mark replies as he jokingly salutes to you.

x

["Y/N? What are you doing here so early?" Mark asks, opening the front door to his home, still in his baby blue lion pajamas. He rubs his sleepy eyes as the harsh sunrays beam from the opened door. You step in and close it before Mark can further complain about the brightness.

"I'm here to tutor you because you seriously need it."]

[lulurionu]

You got any kaesetsu headcannons?

AAA AA IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I WAS BUSY FOR THE PAST MONTH but YES i definitely do have some kaesetsu headcanons! i’ll list five and put them under a read more!!!!!!!!!

1) not exactly a headcanon or kaesetsu-centric, (focuses more on setsu, actually, but it connects to kaesetsu as well) but i like to think that setsu is introverted and (possibly?) socially awkward. 

he isn’t fond of social interaction, with how we see since the beginning of the anime, he mostly keeps to himself and actually doesn’t interact with anyone! he’s probably the type who gains friends by having people go to him first (which is how i think he met haruka, bc unlike him, haruka shows to be more open). 

he probably has a hard time getting along with others because of his interests, as well, since i’m sure many boys his age would like to watch TV shows or play outside. meanwhile, setsu prefers to read books. he probably does play games with haruka or whatever, but i think if he had to choose between playing or reading, he would read.

i’ve seen a lot of people mischaracterize him as the cool, suave kid who should have confessed to kaede in s1, but no, he really isn’t like that at all and i don’t think he should have confessed to her right then and there! there’s lots of moments in the anime where he gets flustered easily and he becomes soft-hearted. sure, he initially didn’t appreciate kaede and azumi’s character when he first met them, but over time, through the first 3 seasons of mirumo, he grew to find the good things about them, especially with kaede!!!

we’re straying now a bit SO THE MAIN THING I WANT TO EXPLAIN IS: throughout the series, i think kaede is the force that helps setsu grow and learn to become more open to others! from someone who is unwilling to interact with others, we see him grow to love and appreciate his friends! he gets overlooked a lot, i swear, but i think his growth throughout the anime is one of my favorites! ITS JUST SO CUTE AND IT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY PLS APPRECIATE SETSU YUUKI MORE 2K18,,,,

-

2) when kaesetsu starts dating, i like to think that they probably took things really slow. they probably won’t kiss until…they reach the near end of high school hjkdsfsdkj (though one of the mirumo games defy this but its also not compliant with the anime so-). they probably only got as far as hugging from their junior high graduation (which is at the end of the anime lol).

BUT they probably had a lot of indirect kisses before they actually kissed! there’s a segment at the finale ending where kaede fed setsu ice cream. they probably ate from the same spoon so :’))))

-

3) there’s two places that kaesetsu love to have dates in. first, inspired by the anime, is going to the cafe! i headcanon that kaede loves to eat parfaits, and there’s a cafe in the town that monthly have new parfait recipes introduced. they spend time their dates in the cafe, at most, once a month. setsu doesn’t have a big sweet tooth as kaede, but he loves to go there with her because that’s also where they had their first date.

the other place where they love having dates in is probably when they’re camping or mountain hiking! i remember an episode where setsu went out of town with his family to the mountains and rented a cottage, so i can imagine kaesetsu doing something similar to that? though they probably can’t rent a cottage, so they go camping instead.

why i thought of camping and mountain hiking is because it’s…well, they probably feel more at peace when they’re alone together. while beach is an option as well, it doesn’t feel like…something they would do all the time. my perception is kaesetsu is that they prefer to having dates in more secluded places, where they can be with each other and only with each other. the cafe is an exception, because they see it as a special place (and come on, dates in cafes are always cute :3). hence why i thought of camping and mountain hiking, because it’s a date where they probably won’t have a lot of interaction with others!

another plus for dates in camping and mountain hiking, sunrises and sunsets are beautiful on the mountain, and i think they would love that!

other places where they enjoy having dates in: karaokes, probably their own houses, the school rooftop, and the library because of setsu!

-

4) KAESETSU KISSES………..it starts with the hand. one day, setsu takes kaede’s hand and kisses it as a thank you for being with him today. he realizes what he did and they’re both embarrassed. especially setsu, because he’s a big dork and he is super new to all this romance stuff despite dating kaede for two years now.

then he keeps kissing her since that date. on the hand, cheek, neck when he’s feeling bold, but inevitably, he lean close to her and asks if he can kiss on the lips, and she complies. they kiss with the sunset behind them, and after one kiss, setsu leans in again for another. and another. AND ANOTH

basically, they learn that they really like to kiss each other. as i said, they take it slow, but once they’re used to it, it becomes a habit.

-

5) LAST ONE kaede likes to hug setsu a lot,,,well, after they get used to the fact they’re actually dating each other, kaede tries to be more forward and hugs him a lot!! ESPECIALLY FROM BEHIND, kaede likes to hug setsu from behind and he always gets flustered everytime it happens!!!!! SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!

-

i guess thats all my headcanons?? i have more but they’ll be really really long if i keep on writing. 

i have some more mirumo content, to the point i wrote some fics for it quite recently! it’s a five part series, with two of the five completed so far! this is the first fic and then here’s the second fic!

welp i guess that’s all?? im thankful youre supportive and willing to hear me ramble abt this ship, bc i dont get a lot of opportunities too ;u;

[kosmicdream]

Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i  try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that! 

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno? 

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds. 

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 14

Hey!! I’m back once again with a new chapter!! Sorry this took so long you guys, I’ve been super busy with normal life, trying to write new updates for this fic, and trying to write my three PBB fics! Anyways, I hope you enjoy and thank you for sticking around! @billetdouxblossom

Tags for chapter: fluff, minor angst, major BFF bonding omg

Words for chapter: ~2.7

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

<– Previous chapter Next chapter -->

~~~~~~~~~~ 

Dan curled himself up in a blanket on his couch, phone in hand.

He hadn't heard from Jaime at all today minus her early morning texts, but knowing her, she'd still burst into Dan's flat in a whirlwind after her audition for one of her and Dan's infamous Best Friends Only Nights.

No significant others, no texting other people, no social media, just the two of them, ice cream, pizza, every blanket and pillow they can find, and sad romcoms playing in the background as they talk and cry and laugh.

And as far as preparation, Dan had already ordered the pizza, there was plenty of ice cream in his freezer, and at least half a dozen blankets were swallowing the sofa.

All he was missing was his best friend.

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

so youre telling me I wont get you at ALL tonight?

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

yep. a Best Friends Only Night was called and rules state no s.o. just us bffs

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

>:(

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

srry mate but youll survive i promise

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

I might just die you dont know

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

wow i didnt know i picked up such a needy boyfriend

Dan grinned. He may have sounded exasperated in his text, but really, Phil whining about not having Dan for a single night was making his mood soar.

It felt good to be wanted by someone other than just Jaime.

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

ddddaaaaaannnnnnn

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

pppphhhhiiiilllllll

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

fine but I get you tomorrow so I can catch up on my very important dan time

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

u can get ur dan time and i can get my phil time it sounds like a plan

Dan clicked off his phone when he heard his door fly open. There's Jaime, late as usual.

"Daniel Howell, where the fuck are you!"

"On the sofa already starting this Best Friends Night without you!" Dan laughed in response. She sounded breathless but happy, which was making Dan's hopes for her soar. She had to have gotten that role.

Jaime was there in a moment, landing on him in a heap and talking a mile a minute, too fast for Dan to catch everything, but managing to grasp a few words here or there. Still not enough to piece together a proper story about her day, though.

"Jaime," Dan said quickly when she stopped to breathe, "I need you to slow down—you're talking way too fast for me to understand you dork. Did you get the part? Or do I need to kick a judge's ass?"

She looked at Dan with wide eyes and smiled, wide enough to cover her whole face.

"I got it. I got the part." She said in a whisper, like she couldn't believe the words.

Dan felt his jaw drop in one moment and the next snap right back up so he could cheer as he tackled her in a hug, his much larger body easily covering hers.

"I knew it! I knew it, Jaime! God! This is the break you were waiting for and you're gonna be a star now and oh my gosh when are the tickets going out I'm going to buy five and-"

"Dan!" She said, laughing. "Now you're the one rambling!"

Dan clamped his jaw shut to stop himself, feeling his eyes crinkle and smile go wide.

"I'm just way too happy for you, Jaime. You've got to tell me everything."

They ended back up on the couch, huddled together under the blanket Dan had previously been under alone. Jaime relayed everything to him, from the sudden call-back to her trip there. She talked about how huge the theatre was and how Dan would absolutely love it. Jaime talked about the director and the cast so far, and how there was this really cute girl that was a part of the stage crew, and Dan just soaked it all up, getting caught in the glamour.

Jaime reached for another slice of the pizza that had arrived half-way through her explaining that the theatre had three gigantic chandeliers.

"All of the main parts have been casted already, but now they're moving on to the 'second wave' so to speak, and auditions are opening back up in a few days so..." Jaime trailed off, looking hopeful.

Dan snorted.

"Jaime, I know you're excited but you can't have two parts."

"Sciocco, I mean for you to try for a part! Not me!"

"Jaime, I haven't acted in anything in over a year-"

"Dan-"

"-and besides I won't get it."

"You don't know that! I thought I wasn't even going to get a call-back and look where we are right now! I'm the face of this musical!"

"Yeah, well I'm sure that all of the people that didn't get a main character like you are going to try out for the smaller ones and there's no doubt that they're better than me."

"Dan, you're an insane actor—there's no way that you couldn't get even the smallest part! And besides, do you really want to be a barista for the rest of your life? Acting is your dream, Dan. These directors are picking new talent that hasn't been seen on a big stage before left and right. There's more of a chance that you could get this than you think."

"Jaime," Dan sighed, "we both know that I can't afford to miss work as much as I'm going to need to for practice. And on top of that, I won't be able to pay for the tickets I'm going to need to get to London and back so many times. If it was here in Manchester, maybe I'd entertain the  idea, but I just can't. I'd be out of my flat in a month from not being able to afford rent once practice rolls around."

Jaime groaned.

"Dan-"

"No, Jaime, I'll sit this one out."

She muttered something under her breath that Dan just didn't quite get before nodding a disgruntled 'fine' and pouting. After another piece and a half of pizza, Jaime knocked her shoulder into Dan's.

"So, what's going on with you? Was today really bad?"

"Steve was a royal dick."

"Expected."

"Mary almost had a go at him."

"Mary? Little old lady Mary? Mi Dio, what did he do?"

Dan brought his bandaged hand out from under the blankets, where it had been curled up over his stomach. Jaime nearly choked on the bite of pizza in her mouth when she saw it, and her eyes immediately darkened with anger.  

"He kind of hip-checked me while I was making her coffee, and I ended up burning myself." Dan said, definitely playing the situation down to avoid Jaime descending upon Steve like a grim reaper. As much as Dan might have loved to see that, it wouldn't have been worth it.

"But don't worry it's fine! Phil wrapped up and everything."

"Phil was there too now? And what the hell did he do, go out and buy bandages? We don't have these kind in the first-aid kit." She said, bringing Dan's hand over by his wrist to inspect the bandage. Her eyes roved over the rest of Dan's frame as well, looking for any other sign of injury, frowning.

Dan blushed.

"Ah, no, he had these at his flat."

Jaime raised a brow.

"You're telling me that he went all the way to his flat, grabbed some bandages, and came all the way back to the coffee shop just because you got a burn even though we had ones in the back?"

"No," he said, squirming, "we went to his flat for lunch. After he nearly threatened to dump a coffee on Steve's head."

"Why the fuck-"

"We're dating." Dan blurted, eyes going wide as soon as the words left his mouth. He had meant to be more tactile with telling her, damnit. Jaime blinked at him in disbelief. "Surprise?" He added, unsure.

"Tell me everything right now it's about time you two got together, jesus christ."

So Dan ended up telling Jaime all about how Phil showed up at his flat, the texts, today, their talk about Dan's past, and how Phil had swooped in like a saint to take him away from Steve, breaking for Jaime to disappear for a moment, only to come pack with a gallon on ice cream and two spoons.

"Oh my god you two were snogging on this couch."

"Shut up!"

"You can't deny it, Howell, you literally just told me!"

"That doesn't mean we have to talk about it!"

Jaime snickered and spooned another mountain of ice cream into her mouth.

"He's going to be in our coffee shop at every hour of the day now that you finally said yes, isn't he? God, don't even answer that he's like a puppy, he is."

Dan's face was beet-red, and he suspected that the blush wouldn't go down for a while, or at least until Jaime let up on the teasing.

"My boyfriend isn't a puppy. But yeah, he probably is going to be there a lot." Dan muttered through a mouth-full of ice cream.

"A lot my ass he won't leave unless you do."

"Jaime, shut up."

"Oi, this is the first relationship you've been in in years, it's my right to tease you to death."

Dan stuck out his tongue at her.

"Love you too, Danny."

Jaime shifted on the couch, and continued to reach for the ice cream, but thankfully stopped her suggestive smiles and teasing in lieu of smugly eating dessert.

They polished off an impressive amount of ice cream before Jaime pushed the container away, onto the table.

"We've had way too much. I'm throwing in the towel for the both of us."

"Speak for yourself, loser." Dan said, but admittedly throwing his spoon into the container of ice cream and flopping back into the couch. "What's next on the agenda, then? Are we going to cut into sleeping already? It's only about ten."

"No, you're not going to pass out on me, Danny, I'm not done with you yet."

Dan whined, but obediently sat up when Jaime swatted at his arm.

Unlike the rest of the night prior, this time Jaime looked stern. She wasn't bubbling over with excitement and joy like she had been when she had arrived, and she wasn't oozing disbelief and I-told-you-he-liked-you-but-you-didn't-believe-me-dumbass like when Dan was busy talking about Phil. She was determined and slightly reserved, but also showing hints of worry.

"I've been honestly meaning to talk to you about this for awhile, I just didn't really know how to bring it up, I guess? But I finally got my head out of my ass and realized that it doesn't matter if I'm vaguely unsure because this is about you."

Dan swallowed, suddenly nervous. His head immediately went to the worst-case he could think of. Was Jaime unhappy with their friendship? Changed her mind about her acceptance of Dan's sexuality?

Something else?

Her eyes seemed to be piercing his, keeping them from darting away. Dan wasn't sure if her gaze reassured him or heightened his anxiety.

"I want you to see a therapist, Dan. No, don't say anything yet, this is non-negotiable. You've been depressed since I've known you, and while I'm sure that some of that had to do with repressing your ace-ness, nowhere near all of it is, and it's gotten worse since you were just that too-tall kid to stumble through my store doors looking for a job. Dan, there are times when you can't get out of bed. And don't think I haven't noticed your increasing anxiety. Dan," Jaime said, grabbing Dan's hand, "I want you to be happy because you deserve to be. You don't deserve to suffer through that, and I don't want you to alone. I'll help you as much as you want me too, but I'm no professional, Dan. I can't help you how you need."

Dan felt tears prick at his eyes.

He'd been depressed for years now, ever since he was fourteen, really. It only got worse with his sexuality and his girlfriend, but things really went down-hill when he had gotten kicked out. It had taken him awhile to pick himself up from that after he finally found a stable place to stay, but he had thought he'd been managing it. Sure, he had more depressive episodes, but he knew how to handle those, what more did Jaime want?

"How do you know that? How do you know that you can't help?" Dan said, quietly. "Maybe it just takes time."

"Because I don't know how to help you other than support you through it. I can look through all of the forums on the internet—and believe me I have—and still not be able to help you like you need. All I can do is keep you going, I can't give you the tools you need to climb out of this hole you've ended up in."

There were tears dripping down Dan's cheeks. Was he really that sick? That his own best friend didn't even know how to help?

"One appointment, that's all that I'm asking for, Dan, please, I'll help you research the therapist and take you there and everything, I just need you to try. If not for you then for me." Jaime pleaded, wiping away Dan's tears with the sleeve of her jumper.

Dan looked back up at Jaime from where his eyes had slid down. She looked like she was about to cry herself, her expression looking so pained.

It's not that he liked feeling so numb.

It's not that he liked having a hard time to get out of bed.

It's not that he liked not having the energy to do the most basic things sometimes.

It's not that he liked being depressed.

It was just...all he knew.

He just wasn't sure what there was besides it. A normal life? That wasn't for him. It had been too long since he had had one.

"What if I can't get better? What if I'm just stuck like this?"

"If you're stuck like this, I'm going to find whatever punk-ass god or goddess who claims ownership of this shit universe and make them regret it, damnit."

A laugh bubbled out of Dan's chest before he could stop it, and Jaime smiled at him.

"Don't laugh, I mean it."

That only made Dan laugh harder, wiping away his own tears now. There was still something hard in his chest, but he felt lighter. Softer.

"Okay, I'll try, but only to save that 'punk-ass god' from you, you maniac."

Jaime snorted, but she pulled Dan back in for another hug, her smaller arms wrapping around Dan completely and making him feel warm inside. He hugged her back and whispered a small "thank you", not entirely sure that she heard it, but okay with it if she didn't. They didn't always need words to convey things between them, and Dan was sure that Jaime knew how much her care for him meant to him. Even after all of the tears and the drama.

They pulled themselves together after that and dug back into the ice cream, forgetting their prior self-restraint completely. Dan beat Jaime several times over in Mario Kart after they had finally paid the remainder of the movie that had been on in the background some attention, and after his seventh win, Jaime declared that they'd better sleep before she strangled a giddy-at-winning Dan. He teased her about it all through the clean-up, and didn't let up until she threatened to make him sleep outside.

"It's my flat! You can't kick me out!"

"Watch me, Howell. Now get your ass in bed."

Dan stuck his tongue out at her in his usual fashion, but did as she asked, pulling back the duvet on his bed—which she was already in—and flopping down next to her.

"Night, dork."

"Night, nerd."

Dan fell asleep easier than he had in awhile, warm and curled up with his best friend, the normal background noise of his thoughts settled for once.

[audiovisualrecall]

And it's like, okay so you lived on ur own in Florida and did all of that yourself so you dont want to have to do it. But it's called being considerate towards the people you live with????? Try considering it like... treat your parents better than a roommate - if you're not considerate towards a roommate and leave all the chores to them and act like ur work is harder than their, they would be rightfully upset, and you couldnt offer to pay more rent to get them off ur back. As an adult you should not treat your parents the same way a child does - if you're a kid it makes sense go expect your parents to do stuff and whine if asked to help out, but as an adult??? Itd be one thing to say, I spend so much of my energy at work that even getting my own laundry done is hard right now, I can try to help out more but I'm having a hard time with stuff. Idk if ma would understand but I'd go and talk to ma on her behalf to get her to understand better. But no, steph tells and bitches and says shitty things, and its like?? Trust me I understand more than most about not having the spoons for anything when u get home from work or on your days off, I get it, and I dont have a social life because I fail with that work-life balance too. But for me helping out is important and sometimes I dont want to do stuff and complain. But I consider the household stuff on equal footing with, like, my etsy shop. I have responsibilities, and I'll do my best to take care of them. Ma and dad have had many more years to acquire the ability to do all these things and it still frustrates ma that she cant manage to upkeep stuff as much as she'd like to, because even they dont always have the spoons/energy for some of it, and sometimes no one takes the garbage out on garbage day or the dishes pile up for 2+ days, and that's just life. So yeah, needing some time, not being able to do it right now, that's okay, but explain, dont yell at ma bc she asked you to sometimes do some dishes or sweep, dont say stupid rude shit to her or me about her bc I'm not going to agree with you. Ma being like can you help out more around the house may stress steph out and make her feel guilty but she shouldnt react the way she does. And she did all of it for herself in Florida so somehow she thinks shes done enough of it or something idefk. (Note that She came home bc she lost the job in florida over something dumb, and it is a good thing she came home bc she wouldnt have done anything abt the lump and then wouldnt have gotten the chemo and such before it could get worse, and she has had a really hard couple of years now, going thru cancer treatment and dealing with all of it, and then the pandemic hit, and now she is trying to build a relationship when both of them have their own issues and it's going really well because shes trying really hard with him, and shes also trying to get a promotion at work)

So like... I get it, I'm always sympathetic and I understand, but she just makes it really hard to defend her or explain to ma so ma doesnt react in a way that steph will just feed off of and everyone will end up upset and mad and feel they were wronged. Steph reacts with anger that is out of proportion, with self righteous energy, and it's like, try to slow down and think of what ma's actually saying, and not just react to the guilty stressed feeling that is in herself and explode at ma.

The parentals deal with me reacting and yelling and my meltdowns and stuff bc in between I fucking try, and I apologize, and I do my best to push past how I feel - guilty, upset, angry, proud - and do what will mend things, fix it, resolve it. I work hard on my behavior, and sometimes I screw up and it causes problems, but steph doesn't try with the parentals, they only get her reacting by yelling or snapping. I might apologize for snapping and explain that im stressed and didnt mean to explode on them. Steph wont. She expects them to react badly, to make her feel guilty, to complain, to have no patience for her, but she does things and behaves in ways that are self fulfilling that prophesy, she expects ma to react a certain way and in doing so acts in a way that causes ma to react, and she has no clue and has such black and white thinking that if its something she did then it means it's her FAULT or people are blaming her and gets all caught up in feeling defensive over that. You tell me my behavior is causing conflicts? If its in the moment and im still mad I might snarl and act defensive or refuse to change my behavior bc why am I the only one making an effort? but I do calm down and go okay, and try to work on it. I hold my tongue sometimes instead of reacting. If I know im stressed I tell them that. If I have a lot of stuff to take care of and cant do stuff like around the house that day, I explain. I make time for stuff. I listen to steph ramble bc it makes her happy for someone to listen to her, but she always gets angry when I eventually have to be like ok I gotta leave/go downstairs/go to bed im sorry.

Shes just....frustrating. she's so stuck in certain behaviors. I've been home for years while she was away at college and then in Florida, and me and ma and dad changed and worked on stuff, and steph comes back in with behaviors from the past, shes stuck and cant move forward with them, and she views them in such a childish way? I'm a part of the household and steph just wants to live here and eat the food and use the laundry and dishes and storage and our time and attention without returning anything. Or at least it feels that way. I'd be a terrible roommate bc I hate doing dishes and I often leave stuff to pile up, but I also will do it.

Idk.

I also know that steph got a medication recently that makes her act like shes PMSing, so.

And people when they feel guilty and defensive and angry, say stupid shit that they dont really think. I've said some really stupid shit myself, to them or just under my breath. I dont think her ranting at me and saying that means she necessarily really thinks the things she said. But. I think she did feel that way in the past and its still just there rattling around her head waiting for her to be angry to rise up. She needs to see a fricken therapist, basically is what im saying. Ffs. I know her, I love her, and with her behavior with her bf I know she is capable of changing and working on her issues and stuff. But I guess home is a place to let your hair down and not try - she has to restrain herself from reacting at work bc job, and she has to work on stuff with jacob bc relationships take work. But she doesnt want to make effort at home, with us, with our parents, and that's not fair to them. Like how I let my relationships with friends go by the wayside to focus on managing school, my own brain and my issues, and working on my stuff with my parents, and then work, steph is letting her relationship with our parents be the thing that isnt important enough. And maybe that makes sense, I mean, they wont be around forever, so other relationships are maybe more important... but that's still like 20 years at least? I have lots of time to work on having it all, to have the work and fhe friends and all, but I live with my parents, and so that relationship was the most important for a long time, and still is a priority for me, equal to other stuff. Idk

[kosmicdream]

Oh, so Locket's dysphoria relates more to his eyes than the shape of his body he can change? Kind of like how Knife actually prefers to have boobs but gets really self-conscious about his eyes, since for hekatons eyes are the primary sexual trait?

WHEE LONG POST TIME abt my ocs opinions abt themselves 

Locket didn’t enjoy having breasts and they also made him feel dysphoric! he probably has  ripped them off at some point lmfao. it honestly wasn’t easy for him cuz he used to have to wear Pretty Matching Dresses™ with the twin and be paraded around the kingdom like some sort of spectacle. He HATED it but wouldn’t even really protest just Stand and Look Quite Uncomfortable. It was key that was like u dont like wearing this stuff so dont do it!!!!!!!!! dum baka!!!!! and helped pick outfits that locket would actually enjoy. locket would feel bad to not enjoy dressing up like key did but key would b like mom runs around fking naked!!!! it doesnt matter!! so locket would be like.. O .. TRUE.. Even though hekatons can shift their bodies around they still hold a lot of human opinions w/ gender. I suppose its just inherent from originally being a sort of species that was meant to seduce/destroy all humans? (They also base these values on the original hekatons, with laima/lauma being ideal visions of ‘womanhood ultimate moms’ with velns/dievas being what is considered ‘masculine and manly dads’.) Knife’s identity as a transman isnt really known to most hekatons, in fact most details abt him are still pretty secret. Locket only knew b/c Laima explained it to him personally, since, she.. knew Knife. But it was kind of uncomfortable b/c Locket was like WOAH i didnt know you could just.. DO THAT??? mind blown and was amazed by it but also it was like uh shit perkons is supposed to be this hella bad murdery hekaton.....uhm..... does that make me bad too??? uh oh. locket felt really conflicted about these things. (and still does actually)So when locket left the kingdom, he decided that he didn’t have to worry about his mom’s silent mysterious judgments anymore or feel guilty abt his feelings and so he used this opportunity to try and live what he felt was more comfortable to him!! he was the boss now!! hell yeah!! im not a shy kid anymore im a grown adult!!!!!!!!!!  i cant rely on key for correcting pronouns anymore!!!!!! its up to me!!!! see ya, tits!!!!!! springs into the sunset!!! wheee!He was still concerned over his face, however. So the mask was sort of an easy fix, it also helped muffle his voice (which he isn’t a big fan of either).He has gotten a little bit more confidence since he first left home, he just avoids what he feels are the problem areas that make him upset/uncomfortable.  

Also - I wouldn’t say knife is VERY self conscious..? idk its tricky.. i think he just gets pretty annoyed when ppl don’t get it but he is used to ppl not understanding him. so its just another added reason why ppl fucking suck. Hes very stubborn about how boobs or any body parts shouldnt be gendered. Boobs r just boobs!!! Knife has a lot more strong opinions abt these things than you might expect but like with many personal things, he struggles to talk abt em. So he’s got that  “take or leave it” attitude abt it, hes made a decision on it.  I think spoon is literally the only person he really opened up to about it in detail which really changed spoon’s perspective on the whole thing as well. (And eventually, spoon passing his own feelings onto Cash, ect.)

Anyway, knife prefers to wear a binder if he doesn’t want to deal w/ unwanted boob-related attention. Fork also literally has 0 idea knife has boobs. I guess knife still really didn’t know how to approach that topic with him. so he just.. avoided it. huh!!!!!!!! mysteriousIf Locket and Knife were both given an opportunity to change their eyes locket would prob highly consider going for it while Knife wouldn’t. 

[kosmicdream]

Does Cash still have any connection to Spoon's other half? If they do, what's that like?

Cash does! But it is …….complicated.

Here’s some juicy spoilery inside info. Enjoy! Actually don’t enjoy, a lot of what i wrote is horribly depressing and sad so uh. Enjoy the EPIC SADS. 

Spoon never quit being an agent, but he first was hospitalized for a few months before returning to the office. Even then, he took a lot of time off to just rest at home and adjust to his new physical/emotional situation. Fork was there, almost the entire time and barely left his side for I’d say.. the first year or so? (until he was sent off to prison) (it has been 6 years since he exploded/knife vanished) And he has not returned to the field except for uh, the mission that is currently happening in the present day comic. (Where he is cornered by Rock/shot in the leg. That is his first returning field mission in all this time.)Cash tried to check on Spoon while he stayed in the hospital but like, honestly he wasn’t very positively.. responsive to her. He was not excited or happy to see her at all. In fact, if anything, he didn’t want to see her because he felt she influenced the downfall of his relationship with Knife. He spent so much time with her instead during the past 30 years when really he should have been with Knife. Now Knife was gone and he doesn’t.. Even want to look at her, really. He can tell she pities him and is worried and its honestly disgusting. He did this to himself, he knows that. Its a miracle he survived, He knows that too. Dont give me those pamphlets about prosthetic surgery, I don’t need that, I dont care how realistic it can look. I can do all this on my own. I don’t need help to get to the bathroom. Fuck you! Im FINE.He feels ashamed about his ‘flawed’ devotion to his deceased loved one..  he wants to try and repair that devotion in the present day by excluding himself from anything that brings him joy, really. Besides continuing to murder his species, but that’s not a (completely) fun thing anymore. Its sort of out of desperation. I mean. He is punishing himself by denying happiness (of having emotional connections to others) but he is trying to survive and continue on because Knife would want him to .. do that.. but he is avoiding that knife would also want him to be Happy. but he just cannot accept that part. he is going to survive, miserably. which he is doing so far and is great at it… yay!!Lashing out at Fork (and destroying his dream to go to wibbleworld) was …… an act of selfish, unplanned indulgence but he tries to keep himself, like, as amicable as he can with fork.. uh, besides that, i suppose. He loathes fork but Fork is important to Knife and he is still guilty over fucking up everything. God he misses Knife so much that having Fork around almost helps make him pretend Knife isn’t dead and is actually around somewhere, maybe in the other room reading a book. Fork is just good at acting like everything is fine/normal and thats sort of…comforting. He wouldn’t admit that though. He wouldn’t really give Fork the satisfaction of hearing that. (Too bad Fork already knows.)Distancing himself from Cash is self punishment but he’s also aware she’s harboring a serious secret from him, but he doesn’t know what it is. He has a feeling it is to due with his other half. He knows they’re involved with it somehow, the way she talks and tries to urge him to take better care of himself is with a familiarity that he feels like he missed out on. Like, something about how she is not *as* surprised to see his body in this condition as he thinks she should be.. How she knows things about his body before he does, certain hang ups or issues, ect, she’s always ready to offering advice to deal w/ them as if she has gone through it before. Sometimes shes even predicted what he is going to say before he says it. He doesn’t like it. He is suspicious of why she is not explaining more about what happened during the day he exploded, what she was doing, why it took her a while to visit him in the hospital. What was she so busy with? He hates that. He hates that he is not the most important Half to Cash. He wants to know where his other half is anyway, why won’t she tell him. Why is he avoiding himself. Cash feels guilty but cannot do anything about it.. she can’t answer his questions. As She is respecting the wishes of Scissor, who is avoiding his other half and pretty much just laughs/mocks at any news Cash gives him about his.. other self’s recovery. Cash is angry about that but Scissor doesn’t give a shit, he thinks Spoon sucks. Its HIS fault Knife is dead anyway. :)))))))) So in return of Cash not telling him things, Spoon holds secrets of his own, from anyone. (That is… what he knows about this mysterious “Locket.”) Deep deep down, Spoon almost feels Knife is still… alive somewhere and he is going to find him without anyone else’s help. He is going to be the special one this time. His other half can move on and have Cash. “Lol!! go ahead. I totally don’t care that you ditched me. (Even tho deep down I secretly hope we can somehow refuse because my god. i am just a leg.)”But then he thinks if Knife is still alive what would he even think of what’s happened to him. Would he even… want him anymore. Although if he was alive that wouldnt matter even if he didnt want what’s left of him, He’d give anything to just have Knife be ok. Even if Knife hated him, or worse: felt nothing about him at all. (Hate would be better, because it is a strong emotion and would be a valid feeling as Spoon is mean to fork! and cheated on him with cash! and like, so many things. If Knife hated him he’d understand like, 100%. If anything that is just assuring on some many levels that his attempted explosion was probably a good thing because anything Knife hates should go away.)Anyway, spoon spends most of his freetime laying in bed and staring at the wall and trying to figure out how he can kill everyone/maybe destroy the world too? because fuck it. Knife is totally for real dead no matter how annoying that little itch in the back of his mind says he might not actually be. Might as well have fun imagining everyone else suffer and die. That is a totally healthy pasttime spoon, what the fuck.Then Spoon imagines knife and his memories of knife and cries (like, a lot) and falls into a sleep where he dreams everything is fine and him and Knife are running thru a meadow of flowers and happy and grinning JK you are awake now and everything is terrible welcome to your LIFE!So Yeah Cash and Spoon aren’t in the best of terms rn. Fork is the only one that Spoon talks to anymore, really. (And they don’t talk much.)Although, the strangest thing is that he’s formed a closer uh.. friendship? (if u could call it that.) with Leadman. The two of them love to stare soullessly at walls together. I wonder what’s going on with that… huh