#if it ends up with twenty chapters of ron walking around barefoot cooking who really cares?

[bleedingcoffee42]

WIP game!!! Your fic Life makes me absolutely feral so obvs "Life - Ch 7"

I am working on this, I promise. I have to finish that soulmate fic first. I have a ton written but I have to go back and reread the entire thing to see what breadcrumbs or landmines I left for myself because I just make it up as I go and make it future!me's problem. Plus I got sucked into research about the Nixon plant getting blown up and might want to use Stan's car accident. Anyhow, snippets out of context under the cut because this is all about indulging bitchy housewife Ron.

“I put photos up on the situation board you need to look at.”  Dick said and Nix threw up his hands in the most New Jersey expression he had yet to see from him.  “Didn’t say where I got them.” “Yeah, hard to figure that out.” Ron mumbled and pointed at Nix. “You’re staying here. You’re not going back to that house alone.” “Yes, sir.” Nix said and hummed. “Cock and wine night,  here I come.” “What are they looking for?”  Dick asked to nobody in particular.   It wasn’t the blackmail material, anyone who knew about them wouldn't care they had classified docs floating around. He then looked at Nix.  “They were looking for you.  You’re the most valuable thing in that house.” “Damn, Dick. You guys are one hell of a team.  One second he’s telling me I’m moving in and next you’re telling me I’m a treasure.” “I think we’re looking at this all wrong.” Dick shook his head.    “Boo.”  Nix frowned.   “You’re a treasure, Nix.”  Dick said and then leaned on the kitchen counter.  “I think someone’s trying to take you.” “Take me, Dick.”  “As in kidnapping.” Dick clarified only to have Nix redirect his grin to Ron. “Take me, Ron.”  “Nix.” Dick chided.

And later that morning....

“I need to borrow your truck.”  Ron said as he entered the room.  Dick was getting ready to leave for work and Nix was ogling him putting on his holster.  He wondered at this point if Nix was ever going to go back to his own damned house. “I need it to go to work.”  Dick said and shrugged his shoulders as he got the leather harness to sit right before putting on his jacket.  Then he waved at Nix who still had his own gun, jacket, keys, phone and wallet piled on the counter.   “For us to go to work.” “I’ll drive you.”  Ron said.    “In my single cab pickup with manual transmission?”  Dick asked.   Ron rolled his eyes, and turned to Nix.  “You ride in the middle, unless you have a problem with spreading your legs for a shifter?” “Not. At. All.” Nix hummed. “Great. I’ll drive.”  Ron grabbed the keys off the counter and the remains of his coffee from this morning. “It’s my truck.”  Dick repeated. “And I would like to actually get something done today before I have to pick you two up from work this evening. Like cook complicated dinner your Mom wants me to made in order to seduce you.”  Ron said, not looking for an argument.  Especially since Dick drove like a tourist. “Cock and Wine night.”   Nix reminded Dick. “But…” Dick protested before Ron snapped at him. “You want to shift gears into his crotch right before you go to work on day three, after he already tried to kiss you yesterday?  Going to beat it off in the locker room before your shift starts? Or just jerk each other off in the truck to save time?” Ron asked, bitchier than needed but, by GOD, someone had to smack some sense into him. Things he never thought he would have to do for one Richard D. Winters. “I do believe that is inevitable.”  Nix said.  “So, why don’t you have a car?” Ron huffed. He wanted to bark 'Just get in the damned car' but these two just had to keep asking questions. “I just haven’t decided what I want yet.  Been gone 10 years and have driven army vehicles, not sure what is out there I want.  Other than an antique Mercedes I can’t afford anymore because of our property taxes. Which is fine.  They aren’t as bullet proof as they advertise.  Any other questions?”