#if it does get canceled then you never saw any of this

[sulumuns-dootah]

Can I request headcanons for whb kings (+sitri) with a fem mc (or gn if you prefer) who has a similar life to athanasia from who made me a princess and them witnessing a memory in her dream that is basically that scene in the first chap where lp athy was on her knees crying to claude

WHB kings (+ Sitri) with reincarnated princess having a nightmare about her past

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: HI! I had to look this manhwa up, so sorry if I got some plot stuff wrong ^^

Characters: Satan, Sitri, Mammon, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Lucifer

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

His first reaction is anger

Who does that scum think he is to reject you?

Expect him to be really nice and considering to you from then on

He'll always make sure you know how much he cares about you and how he'll never abandon you

You'd never really find out why he changed so much all of a sudden unless you ask him about it

Apparently he didn't want to reawaken that wound by bringing it up

       ༺☆༻

Sitri didn't want to pry into your personal dreams, but your heart was beating so fast and if he correctly saw, there were even some tears streaming down your face

After seeing that traumatic memory, he'll hug you close to his body and kiss all over your face to gently wake you up

When your eyes finally open, he'll let you hide your face in his chest and hold you as you sob

He's curious, but doesn't want to push you, so he's just hoping you'll bring it up when you're done

Will make sure he's there for you the following day, cancelling all plans he has for the day

       ༺☆༻

Your dream reminds him of his own sad memory about his father

If you wake up on your own, he'll be there so you can confide in him

If not, he'll let you sleep unless your dream turns even worse

Just like Sitri, the next day he's all yours and reminding you that he's never leaving

Showers you with gifts and love to make up for the life you've been deprived of

He'll even get you a live pet if you ask so

       ༺☆༻

At first heard you cry out someone's name

His first thought it that you're draming of some other man

Which you are, but once Levi sees/hears what the man is saying, he's speechless

Someone dares to treat his lover like that?

On the next day he will ask you about it and when you break down telling him about your past, his expression softens

The two of you trauma bond by sharing stories of your past

       ༺☆༻

Beel doesn't like this at all

Now, he's not a father, but even he knows that's not a thing to tell your kid

But seeing your traumatic past kinda makes him feel bad for just disappearing from you at times

So now before he leaves, he makes sure to let you know and that he still loves and cares about you

Similarly to Mammon, wants to help you experience the life you've missed out on and heal your inner child

       ༺☆༻

You're thrashing in the bed and making noise, which is waking Belphie up and he's annoyed

So he enters your mind to see what's up

Oh, this bitch didn't

As much as he's tired even in his mind, Belphie will manifest into your dream and irritatedly tell your father off

"She can do better off without you anyway, ya windbag."

"Gonna show 'er how livin' in real riches looks like."

The next morning you're confused

Like literally, what tf happened?

You can't even ask Belphie because he's still sleeping and probably will for a long time

       ༺☆༻

Ah, that is tragic

He knows the pain of loosing a father

Though, your story is worse

Even if you're crying, he'll hold off his dacryphilia, because this is serious matter

In the morning he asks Buer to do some evaluation and maybe help you with some shadow work as a therapy method of preventing any further nightmares

This is kinda random, but I feel like he'll buy you a plushie to cuddle with when you need it and he's too busy at the moment

[cuntylestat]

i know a lot of people worry about iwtv being canceled because of low ratings. idk maybe i'm delusional but i don't think it will be. i'm not an expert on the tv industry, but these are just some thoughts i have on it.

i think people look at companies like netflix and hbo under david zaslav as a model, but amc is not the same and has shown in the past to keep shows going even if initially they are not mega successful (e.g. breaking bad only started getting major attention in s3). amc still works more like a traditional network than other companies do, and they don't tend to cancel things immediately because they do not have the same glut of content that e.g. netflix does.

amc has invested a lot of money and attention into building "the immortal universe" and even if the ratings aren't high, iwtv is still the one with the highest name recognition (the movie is still pretty well known) and far more critically acclaimed than the mayfair witches. they have emphasized over and over again that they are trying to build this into their next big thing for their company akin to the walking dead, so giving up after 2 seasons on the biggest show in that universe's roster would not really fit with that, especially as they're already building more shows out of this (e.g. talamasca). everything they have said is that they believe in this universe they're building and are willing to invest in it. this is from the variety article on mark johnson, one of the producers:

then, there is also a precedent from other networks (who are not primarily streamers but more traditional cable networks) keeping shows going despite bad ratings, e.g. crazy ex-girlfriend had the actual lowest ratings on tv for multiple seasons and still got 4 seasons because it was one of the cw's most critically acclaimed and only awarded shows next to jane the virgin. this does show that sometimes networks will keep a show going because of what it means for their network rather than just the bottom line. what i think also helps is that amc owns the rights to the books and is the studio producing the show. there have been cases in the past where shows got canceled mostly because it was just no longer profitable/advantageous for the network to keep a show from a different studio or vice versa (e.g. shadowhunters allegedly only got canceled because it was split between three companies and netflix pulled its funding and the others were not willing to put up the rest of the money for it).

overall, i understand why people are concerned about the ratings, although i also want to point out that we do not have access to how the show is doing on amc+ as far as i know, so we don't have the full picture of how it's performing. however, i have a good feeling about the s3 renewal (i know some people are speculating that we'll get a tvl show instead of a third season which i really hope is not the case because that's a marketing disaster to me).

[mybrainproblems]

brain is just mii waiting room music as i consider where i've ended up in my supernatural fandom journey

[chaepink]

pathetic sub!yandere boys ♡

pathetic, disgusting yandere boys that can't help but be obsessed with you.

wc: 1k+ words | masterlist | part two

dom!fem!reader, stalking, begging, unhealthy relationship, mention of fucking

note: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT

Yandere boys are honestly adorable. But not just any regular yandere boys, im talking about pathetic boys that slowly turn possessive and less innocent the more obsessed they are with you.

The ones that stalk you in and out of school as they take pictures of you when you're not looking, even sometimes up your skirt when you're turned around! The ones that offer to help you with everything during school, blushing whenever you thank him and give him a compliment before rushing towards the nearest bathroom to jerk off cause they got hard from the small praise you gave them. how pathetic!

Yandere boys that would try their best to become your best friend, even going long lengths to hang out with you every second you're free.

You were going to go to the carnival with a friend? Suddenly that friend has to cancel on you because they feel sick, not knowing that your yandere added something weird to their lunch.

A friend asked if you wanted to hang with them later and you agreed? Thats weird because now they're not picking up their phone or answering their texts. Well guess who stole their phone and hid it somewhere where they wouldn't find it.

Whenever you're sad, your yandere will buy you loads of snacks and comfort you as best as they can.

Its cute really, how they try so hard to hide their obsession with you from you, even going as far as to anonymously threaten your friends that tell you how weird and creepy they are.

But everytime your friends warn you, you just smile back and them and say that [character] is just super nice to you and thats all.

Your yandere boy is so desperate for you that it's so pathetic yet so cute at the same time.

They think that you have no clue of his intentions or what he's done but little does he know, you actually do.

You know how they stalk you, how they try to separate you from your friends, how they're absolutely obsessed with you.

And so when you come over to their house to work on a class project, you're not surprised to find a big journal that has a heart on the cover with your name on it peeking out from under their bed when you come in their room. Opening it only to find lewd drawings and pictures of you alongside long paragraphs that your yandere wrote.

Reading the paragraphs and how it describes how every desire [character] has with you, even being specific as to say the exact details that would happen with each situation.

The first one you read includes how they want to get fucked by you, describing how they want to be bent over their bed as they cry and sob from the pleasure you give them.

It continues with you making him cum multiple times as you wrap a hand around his neck, leaning towards their ear to whisper degrading praise to him.

You continue reading the rest, watching as his desires turn darker and darker as they become even more specific than before, as if they actually happened before.

But before you could reach the end, your yandere opens the door with some snacks in his hand. Poor him really, cause he would have never expected for you to find out about his obsession with you.

But you're glad you did because now you get to watch as he pauses at the door, dropping the snacks in shock when he sees you with his journal in hand. Watch as his eyes flood with tears as he begins to shake from fear and shock, his face turning red as he tries to choke back a sob. Watch as he stumbles in front of you, landing on his knees as he looks into your eyes to no longer see any love in them but instead something dark that makes him shiver. Maybe it's disgust, maybe it's something entirely else.

They beg you to forget what you just saw, tears flooding down their face. It's just so embarrassing for them that you found out about their obsession with you. You can't help but coo at them as you tilt their head towards you, pressing your foot against the bulge in his pants because of course he couldn't help but get hard in this situation. That's just how pathetic they are, you think its cute though.

Hearing them let out a pitiful whimper as he lays his head on your thigh, pleading you with their eyes. Big cute eyes that try to convince you that he's done nothing wrong.

The situation is no longer about the journal when he starts to let out adorable noises when you continue to grind your foot against his bulge, making him quickly cum in the matter of seconds.

But even though he just came just a few moments ago, the way you call them pathetic with the disgust in your voice makes him hard again as he hump your foot.

They'll let you do anything to them. Dress them up, degrade him, humiliate them, they dont care! They're yours to use.

Secretly, your yandere is grateful that you found the journal under their bed. They actually wanted you to. They wanted you to get disgusted as you read the contents within their journal.

They hoped that you would punish them for how lewd and disgusting they are and they would be so grateful when you actually do.

Make the situations in his journal that he forever dreamed of come true as all he can do is moan and scream your name as you use him like a toy for your pleasure. Make him fall apart underneath you as his body gets littered with bite marks that compliment his body so nicely.

If he's too loud, shut him up with a choker or even better, your panties. The way his eyes would roll back as he cums for the nth time that night. But you're not done with him yet, oh not anytime soon.

You have to punish him for everything that he's ever done to you.

The whole situation is messed up but no matter how obsessed they are with you, you wouldn't ever trade them for the world. After all, they're your yandere.

ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink

╰┈➤ masterlist | rules

[jlheon]

𝓑𝐔𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌 ୨୧ 𝐋𝐇𝐒

(𝓹airing) — lhs x fmr ꣑୧ 𝓸ne-sided enemies to lovers ; fluff & kissing (𝔀ordcount) one-thousand one-hundred thirty 𝓹eng's note. flirty hee i collapsed! can’t tell if this is e2l but we ball! 𝓫ookshelf

𝓼ynopsis. you give heeseung detention once again for his habit of loudly chewing gum

every time you write up lee heeseung for detention you lose a year off your lifespan.

“detention,” you roll your eyes as you slip the bright red piece of paper to the boy sitting at his desk on his phone.

“again!” heeseung sarcastically cries, taking one glance at the slip and pushing it back to you. “will you be the one supervising?”

“unfortunately,” you sigh, shoving the paper more aggressively at him, hoping it’s more effective. “you better show up this time.”

“last time it was your annoying vice president watching over,” he replies. “if you’re there i’ll be there too princess,” heeseung winks.

you think it’s unfortunate how lee heeseung has one of the prettiest faces you’ve ever laid eyes on.

he obnoxiously chews gum during class even though it is strictly against school policy with that stupidly pretty smirk adorning his even prettier face.

girls left and right whining over the fact he never looks their way makes your blood boil for an ‘unknown’ reason. you pass it off as being annoyed that they even like the boy despite his actions, but maybe you feel bitter about the fact the only time lee heeseung looks your way is to blow a bubble of gum in your face to piss you off.

at the end of the week, lee heeseung managed to garner three detention slips.

meaning you’ll have to spend three hours on friday alone with him in a classroom making sure he does absolutely nothing.

detention was one of your least favorite things about being student council president.

yes, you are so grateful to be in such a high position in student government but sometimes giving up your friday afternoons to supervise your troubled peers is a bit tiresome.

today, it’s your week, and to your luck, the only person listed for detention on your clipboard when you walk into the vacant classroom is none other than lee heeseung.

“there’s my favorite girl!” heeseung struts into the room with his freakishly empty backpack and headphones hanging loosely around his neck. it amazes you every year how he moves up each grade despite never having any supplies nor assignments on him. “i was going to skip but then i saw your pretty pink skirt from the hallway.”

“sit down lee,” you say sternly, sitting down at the teacher’s desk.

“anything for you angel,” heeseung smirks as he takes the chair from the nearest desk and places it next to yours.

“at a desk,” you scoot your chair as far as possible until it collides with the wall.

“come on baby,” heeseung whines. “it’s just me and you.”

“it’s protocol,” you try again, hoping to get your point across.

“loosen up a little princess,” he says while moving his chair closer to yours as much as possible, the proximity making your cheeks heat up an embarrassing amount.

“i’m doing my job heeseung,” you frown, crossing your arms. he thinks you're adorable.

“you’re doing good just sitting and looking so pretty,” heeseung teases. “were you thinking about seeing me in detention while getting dressed today?”

“shut up,” you huff, facing your body toward the wall while unlocking your phone.

in your peripheral vision, you see him putting his headphones on and grabbing his phone from his pocket. you’re already letting him sit next to you so you must reinforce the strict no-phone policy for your pride and to cancel out your wrongdoings.

“give me those,” you say as you remove his headphones and snatch his phone.

“you’re so strict,” heeseung rolls his eyes, slouching in his chair, and accepting the boredom about to take over him for the next three hours.

unless…

“why do you always write me up?” he breaks the silence.

you ignore him.

“other people chew gum all the time,” heeseung tries again. “so why is it a problem when i do it?”

“maybe because you chew so loud,” you finally reply, back still facing him. 

your answer does not satisfy him. he decides to push your buttons more and pulls out an empty gum wrapper from the pocket of his jeans and starts loudly fiddling with it. hoping to simulate him putting a piece of gum in his mouth.

your ears are quick to pick up the familiar sound and you turn around in your chair.

“are you seriously having gum right now?” you ask annoyed, facing him completely. “i’m going to write you up again!”

“i’m not,” heeseung smiles teasingly.

“you’re a shit liar,” you say as you move to stand up.

“why don’t you come here and check for yourself,” heeseung pats his lap.

“i’m not sitting on your-” is all you manage to get out before he pulls you to rest on top of him.

“see,” heeseung opens his mouth, letting you see the emptiness with your own eyes.

after, you can’t help but stare at his lips after his mouth is shut again. your stares are obvious but you are somehow lost in a trance.

his arm wraps around your waist, the tips of his fingers ever so slightly brushing your bare skin that your shirt doesn’t cover.

heeseung brings his free hand behind your head and slowly brings your face towards his as he leans in impossibly close.

“i’m going to kiss you,” he whispers, looking for any signs of discomfort from your end.

you stare at him like a deer in headlights once you finally break out of your trance. taking a second to register his words before shyly nodding your head.

heeseung’s lips finally touch yours and he thinks detention with you has never been more worth it.

the softness of your lip gloss-coated lips against his slightly chapped ones is addicting for him.

when you push against his shoulder for air you can’t help the flustered expression that washed across your face. his lips now adorn a pinkish hue from your lip combo, the shades of your lips now matching.

embarrassed by how easily you gave in, you lean down to bury your head in the crook of his neck, making him let out a chuckle.

“let me take you out on a date?” heeseung asks confidently, hands rubbing your sides softly.

“please,” you say quietly into his neck, still in disbelief about the kiss.

“how much longer do we have left?”

you reach for your phone and see that only thirty minutes has passed since heeseung arrived. you’re not sure whether to be thrilled to have more time with him or sad that you still have two and a half hours to kill.

“two and a half hours,” you tell heeseung, setting your phone aside again.

“great,” heeseung grins.

“great?” you ask confused, he between the both of you should be the one wanting to get the hell out of here more.

“i have two and a half more hours to kiss you.”

[yesimwriting]

something about bestfriend!felix who's so used to the world bending over backwards to please him that he seems entirely separated from the concept of boundaries.

it's one of the few things about him that remains unspoken because it reminds those in his social circle that no matter how much influence or money they might have, someone has more. and that someone is felix catton.

he's never weird about it, there's just this rule that everyone learns to pick up on and never mention. if felix wants to go out for the night or do anything socially with someone, it's customary for that person to cancel any other plans.

it might be more of an issue if felix's proximity didn't feel like sunbathing on an early summer day, but it does. so he's used to not having to work to get someone where he wants them.

until you.

despite your friendship still being relatively new, the two of you have bonded enough for you to accept his presence instantly.

felix didn't call before coming over. you answered the door after two knocks, grinning as soon as you saw him standing there. you didn't even think to ask about the lack of notice, you just invited him in and made some comment about how you were just studying.

he told you he didn't mind if you wanted to keep studying, that he brought over his own textbooks just in case. even though you were set up at your desk, you moved your supplies over to your bed so that you could sit with him.

it started off as separated as the two of you ever are, just your bent knee pressing gently into his lower thigh. your shared restraint dissolved quickly.

you're practically laying down, back partially supported by a wall and two pillows, felix's head resting on your stomach as you comb your fingers through his hair. he's holding up a textbook for you with one arm, fingertips absentmindedly brushing against your bare leg.

he breaks the silence with a sigh. when you don't respond, he turns his head and presses his lips against your thigh. your nails freeze against his scalp. "felix."

"lovie," he replies, tone as scandalized as yours. you sigh, and he can practically feel your eye roll.

felix grins, turning his head look up at you. he knows he should be good about this, about you, but he's not accustomed to practicing this kind of restraint. he's preoccupied with terribly soft thoughts of closer when he blurts out the question, "come out with me tonight?"

it's only a question by technicality, his eyes bright as if you've already agreed.

you press your lips together, and the hesitance in the look jabs at him. he brushes his knuckles against the side of your leg like that might tip the decision. "i have an econ test on monday."

the excuse deflates him. it's only friday, and even if it wasn't, you don't need to worry about your grades. there's a naturalness to your schooling, you grasp everything almost immediately. any personal selfishness aside, you don't need a weekend of studying. it's objective fact.

you're still watching him, expression unsure. "y'know too much studying's bad for you." your lips part, but before you can say anything, felix is shutting the book he'd been holding up for you.

he extends his arm, his palm covering the upper half of your face with the palm of his hand. you laugh out his name. "what? your eyes need the rest." you shift, still giggling as you halfheartedly try to push him off. "you'll get a headache."

your fingers wrap around his wrist. "you're my headache."

he lets out a mock gasp before pulling away entirely. felix doesn't miss your slight pout as he sits up. "actually?"

you're chasing after him, sitting up and attempting to grab his arm. felix lets you. "no." you squeeze his arm to you. "i meant it in a you're my best friend way."

"that so?" you nod innocently, all wide eyes as if to say see? i have no intentions of being anything other than a perfect angel.

felix pretends to contemplate forgiveness, then, with no warning lays down. you're not given a chance to deliberate what that means before he's tugging on your arm. he mumbles a brief, explanatory, "c'mere," as he pulls you into his chest.

you listen, moving to rest your chin against the side of his chest. your arm's across him. felix's shirt has ridden up right where your fingertips naturally rest. the bare contact makes goosebumps break out across your arms.

"go out with me tonight," he tries, voice soft. you have to drop your gaze to keep from immediately melting and agreeing to whatever he wants. "c'mon, think it's good for you to take a break every now and then."

you lift your head up just enough to glare at him. felix shifts his leg, pressing it against yours. you push back gently, just enough to reciprocate the gesture. "so you're saying i'm a friendless loser that only ever goes out when you make me?"

"i'm saying," he extends the syllables to buy himself some time to think, "i have to go, and i won't have any fun without you."

you find it hard to imagine that felix catton ever has to do anything he doesn't want to. you're also confident in his ability to find fun at a party. "you have farleigh, and oliver, and annabel--you'll be fine without me."

his hand is on your back, fingers tracing lazy patterns against the fabric of your t-shirt. "i don't want anyone else." the soft whine in his tone paired with his slight pout makes him seem smaller, like a little kid that just needs to be wrapped up. "i want you."

"you have me."

felix frowns, "doesn't feel like it."

you're losing. "do you really want me to go that badly?"

he smiles, feeling the crack in your resolve. "we'll just go for a little. have a drink or two, then y'can sleepover if you want." you do like sleeping over in felix's dorm. "and then tomorrow we can do whatever you want--study, watch a movie, dinner."

a sleepover and a saturday. this no longer feels like a loss. you smile, "deal."

felix's available hand finds your hip. "that's my girl."

the comment makes your face feel warm, you drop your head to rest on his stomach to hide any potential signs of being flustered. he'd tease you to no end about it. "i should get up, start getting ready."

he runs his hand down your back, "it's not until later." he moves his hand back up slowly. his thumb starts traces circles against your shoulder. "we've got time."

----

omg bestfriend!felix blurbs are everything to me,, if you have any thoughts about bestfriend-verse pls lmk,,

also?? might have to write a full fic for bestfriend-verse

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey

[sluttywonwoo]

So wonwoo likes to sleep naked eh… that’s um, useful information

you’ve had hundreds of sleepovers with your best friend, that’s why you don’t think anything of it when you slip into bed beside him— only to feel his bare hip brush up against yours.

you hadn’t told him you were coming over, hadn’t announced yourself when you slipped into his room, hadn’t thought you needed to. mingyu, his roommate, let you in without a word when he saw the state you were in, jerking his head in the direction of wonwoo’s room before disappearing into his own.

you figured your best friend must still be awake, likely hunched over his keyboard with his noise canceling headphones blocking out the world. but his room is dark when you enter and you can hear him snoring softly.

you smile to yourself and set your bag on his desk chair. you had been looking forward to talking to him, looking forward to the advice he’d give you (that you probably wouldn’t take) when you told him about the new shitty guy you’re seeing, but that would have to wait. for now, you’ll settle for crawling into bed with him and praying for rest.

only, now you know you won’t be getting any sleep any time soon.

what the fuck are you supposed to do? try and sneak back out? what if he wakes up? and it’s not like you can stay. that’ll only make it weirder.

“hm, what time is it?”

you freeze, hoping he hasn’t noticed you lying right beside him, even though the fact that he’s speaking out loud implies that he knows you’re there. his brain takes a second to catch up, though, and then he’s scrambling to rip the comforter from your grasp to cover himself— even though you couldn’t see anything before anyway.

“what the fuck are you doing here?!”

“mingyu let me in!”

“i didn’t ask how you got in, i asked why.”

“i… couldn’t sleep at my place.”

he softens at that. “nightmares?”

you shake your head. “it just felt… wrong.”

he nods even though you’re sure he doesn’t understand. how could he understand?

“i keep telling you not to let them sleep over,” he mumbles. “they always leave weird energy behind.”

so maybe he does get it.

“i’m sorry,” is all you offer.

he’s the one to shake his head this time. “you know you’re always welcome here. just, send a guy a text next time?”

you snort. “what, you don’t want to wake up naked in bed with your best friend?”

“i never said that,” wonwoo clarifies. your smile wanes as you process what he’s implying. “i’d just rather her also be naked.”

[steddie-island]

Tender Headed

I saw this post by @mothofmyth and couldn't stop myself. I hope this does your idea justice. ❤️ ao3 | Divider by @cafekitsune

Someone else was standing at Steve’s usual station, instead of his usual girl. 

It wasn’t a girl at all. 

“Hey! Do you have an appointment?” not-regular-stylist asked.

“No– yes? I, uh– I have a standing appointment. With Kayla?” Steve brushed his fingers through his hair and looked around at the otherwise empty salon. 

He’d been looking forward to this for weeks, practically since the end of his last appointment. The thought of having to cancel, of having to reschedule because she was out sick or something– it made Steve’s skin feel too tight, itchy.

It made tears prick at his eyes like this was a bigger deal than just a stupid haircut. 

Which. Okay, maybe it was for him, but it’s not like any of the stylists, like this stranger , needed to know that. 

“Are you okay, man?”

Steve blinked, bringing the man back into focus again. He was pretty, with long curls piled up on top of his head and a delicate black hoop hanging from his septum. His cut off sleeves showed the ink decorating his arms and disappearing under the fabric. 

He had to shake himself to bring the man’s voice back, to stop ogling him. 

“--won’t be back for a few months,” he was explaining. 

“What?” Steve knew this guy probably thought he was an idiot, but his mind was thick and sticky and nothing this guy was saying was sticking. 

“Early maternity leave,” he said again, patiently. “I’m Eddie, I’m taking her station over while she’s gone.” He gestured to the empty salon again. “I don’t have any appointments right now, if you’re cool with a substitute…” 

Steve almost turned around, but there was something about the wide brown eyes that fixed on him that made him stay. 

“I… sure. Yeah.” It wasn’t like he was that attached to his hair anyway. Yeah, he wanted it to look good, but not to the point that everyone else thought he did. 

It wasn’t about the haircut. 

He followed Eddie back to the washing station. Even though this was a stranger who was going to be taking care of him, Steve still felt a shiver go through him as he got situated. 

There were a few clinks, metal against ceramic. Steve tipped his head back enough to see Eddie removing several chunky rings and placing them in a little dish. A towel was rolled up carefully and placed beneath his neck. 

“Tell me if this is too much.” 

The water was cool, which Steve was prepared for. What he wasn’t prepared for was the way those long delicate fingers touched him. Kayla was gentle, but it was nothing like this. 

The way Eddie scrubbed so carefully at his scalp made Steve melt. Each fingertip was so deliberate in its movements, in the way his hair was gathered back and brushed out of his face. Eddie’s fingers trailed over his ear and Steve had to bite his lip. 

Maybe this was too much, but he couldn’t stop it. 

He’d never been handled like this. No one had ever touched him like he was a delicate, breakable thing. Sure, he cuddled with Robin. He got to hug the kids, and Joyce, and Claudia.

But this was… something else. 

Eddie wasn’t getting anything out of this– not the same way everyone else got something, like, paying him for his service was different, right? 

Steve was going to see it as that, anyway. He imagined Eddie wasn’t touching him like this because he was getting a big tip from it. 

He imagined that Eddie was brushing water off of his forehead with a knuckle because he just wanted to know what the skin felt like there. Those calloused fingers were tucking the hair behind his ears because he wanted to study the curve of his tragus– maybe wondering what Steve would look like with a hoop there, like the one in his own ear. 

Eddie’s thumb was wiping away water from his cheeks because he wanted to know if Steve’s cheeks were rough with stubble or not, and not because this was just a professional courtesy.

Only maybe this wasn’t a professional courtesy. 

Because it wasn’t just water that Eddie had sprayed on him. Steve was fucking crying . 

He wanted to run, but before he could even get up Eddie was putting a damp hand on his shoulder. 

“Stay. You’re okay.” Eddie’s voice was a low rumble that Steve wanted to hide in. “I’ve got you, big boy.” 

How was Steve supposed to not listen to that? He settled back into the chair and let Eddie rinse away the shampoo. Then those nimble hands were working the conditioner into his hair just as gently. The touches were a little more solid now, though. Eddie’s fingers grazed his neck, touched his cheek, wiped more tears from his cheeks. 

“You’re not the only person who comes in here for this.” Steve couldn’t even find the words to ask if he was that transparent. It wasn’t like the crying couldn’t have been from him being tender headed, or from the water being too hot. He was too focused on Eddie speaking to him to try to make excuses for himself. 

Eddie’s voice was soft and low. It was comforting, and it wasn’t hard for Steve to imagine how he would sound if he were singing, the way the words would wrap around him. Would it make him feel the same way he felt with his hair wrapped around Eddie’s hands? 

He was in the shampoo chair for three times as long as he normally would be. Eddie took his time with the conditioner and gave it extra time to sit. He was just as thorough about rinsing it, then about working a smoothing serum through his strands. 

By the time Eddie was wrapping Steve’s hair loosely in a towel and sitting him up, Steve was feeling lighter than he’d felt in months. He figured he should have felt raw and vulnerable, and there was a little bit of that, but Eddie’s presence was calming. Maybe it was the way he chattered as he started working on Steve’s hair. He talked about other customers, about his uncle, about how he’d been doing his own hair for years. He even brought up the time he’d burnt his hair with bleach so bad he’d had to give himself a buzzcut, because that was better than the spongy mess he’d left himself with. 

Steve started opening up, too, by the time Eddie was drying and styling his hair. He talked about his own worst haircut, about the time Robin had let him bleach her hair and she had ended up with a streak of green in her hair instead of blue. At least it had been cute, though. 

Eddie spritzed Steve’s hair once… twice… a third and then a fourth time before smiling at their reflections in the mirror. This close, and without tears in his eyes, Steve could see the dimples in his cheeks. 

“What do you think?” Eddie brushed his fingers over the ends of Steve’s hair, then dropped a hand to let the weight of it rest against his shoulder. 

“I think it’s great.” Steve smiled back at him. It looked the same as it did when Kayla had worked on it, but he’d never looked this good before. Maybe it was the cut, or maybe it was just the way Eddie had put something bright back into his eyes. 

Steve pulled his card out to pay but Eddie refused. 

“I think we both needed today,” he’d said before smiling and sliding his card across the counter. “I hope you come back and see me sometime, Stevie. I’m happy to take care of you anytime.” 

Normally Steve might take that as flirting– and maybe it was, the way Eddie’s dimples popped even more and his eyes really sparkled under the light. It wasn’t just flirting, though, and that made warmth blossom in Steve’s chest. 

“Yeah, man. Definitely.” Steve tucked the card away and turned for the door. “Actually…” He looked back at Eddie, who had picked up the broom. “Do you maybe want to get a drink after work?” 

Eddie’s grin was bright. “Hell yeah. Why do you think I didn’t charge you?” he teased. “I get off in an hour.”

Steve laughed with him. “Cool. I’ll see you in an hour, then.” 

---

As it turned out, Steve didn’t need to come back in an hour because he hadn’t left yet. He was still there, helping Eddie clean things up. They talked about the kids Steve babysat, and Eddie pointed out that maybe it was okay for him to just say they were hanging out, because fifteen and sixteen year olds didn’t tend to need babysitters anymore. 

They picked up food in Eddie’s van, and they drove to the quarry to eat sitting in the back of it, with the doors open and two milkshakes between them. 

When they shared their first kiss that night it tasted like salt and fake strawberries. They parted ways with plans to see each other again the next day.  

Maybe it was okay that Steve didn’t have a standing appointment with his usual stylist anymore. 

[xveenusx]

Indifference

Paring(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Two people who are in love, well he used to be

Authors note: you guys like when I make you cry

Rating: angsty

Warnings: it'll hurt :)

__________________

He was late.

Time was a funny thing. Minutes turned to hours which rolled into days then suddenly months began to blur into years. In that time, people tend to go out and experience things, falling in and out of love, enjoying everything life had to offer.

Yet, I somehow found myself motionless, the spark that once ignited my core had been stifled to a small ember. Life continued to pass by while I remained glued in one place, watching as everyone around me attempted to achieve some form of happiness.

I was once like that. Filled with some much hope for a life with someone I loved, who showed up to support me and believed in my capability, because at one time in my life that was exactly what Rafe was.

Like I said, time was a funny thing. The more time passes with your partner, the more comfortable they seem to get. They stop trying. However, at what point does being comfortable become almost negligent?

Dates were canceled, appointments missed, and important accomplishments forgotten the more time went on. Rafe’s priorities shifted and I went from being the center of his world to being a planet merely circling his gravitational pull.

In his mind, we were forever, so a couple of cancellations here and there and bouts of forgetfulness were nothing in the span of things. I would have agreed had the cancellations not doubled with time or our conversations going from intimate and deep to surface level at best.

He was never home. It was always just me in this large house on figure 8.  Suddenly, he went from being the moon and the stars to just a bleak, unforgivable starless night. Cold and dark.

We had met when we were 16 and he was every bit a spoiled little rich boy that had extreme daddy issues, but there was more to him than that. I picked at his defenses until finally they shattered, and I was engulfed by all of him.

He was just different around me and that fact alone left me delighted. It made me feel special, almost stupidly so.

Things between Rafe and his father were already tense enough since Rafe bought a motorbike with the money he was supposed to spend on the generator. Then everything began to snowball out of control from there. He threw himself into his father’s work and when he wasn’t doing that, he was with Kells and Topper doing god knows what and snorting anything he could find.

Despite all of this, Rafe always kept me close and always let me in. 

Last year, when Ward had gone with Sarah and John B to South America, and didn’t return, something shifted inside him. His defenses were rebuilt, only this time he left me on the outside, and no matter how hard I tried to break him down brick by brick, nothing worked. He became obsessed with running Ward’s real estate empire better than he ever did.

Rafe was a cold and calculated legacy with a large chip on his shoulder that made him lethal against competing firms. He chewed them up and spit them out.

With every major milestone, it was never enough for him, and like a man possessed he continued to ruthlessly target anyone that had done him wrong. We had everything and yet the bitterness seemed to consume him. He was someone I saw once a day if I was lucky. He always left before I woke up and was never home by the time I went to bed and suddenly we were glorified roommates.

Once upon a time, I would stay up waiting for him with my heart in my hand, hoping to connect in any way. Even if I only had a few minutes to spend with him before he went to sleep, it was enough for me. But, 10 pm became 11 pm which turned into 12 am and so I gave up. My sleep schedule was already a mess as thoughts and insecurities pestered my mind of another woman.

“Any word from him yet? Some of the donors are asking for him?” The question pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to face my assistant, Rai.

Her question is innocent enough, but I can hear the slight concern in her voice and I know she has her doubts which only serves as another humiliating reminder that Rafe has done this to me repeatedly.

But this was different. He knew how important this charity dinner was to the shelter I opened up for women and children who suffered from domestic violence.

As someone who came from the cut, it was everywhere and so many didn’t have the means to flee and so they were forced to stay and in the most severe instances, die.

Rafe gave me the start-up money as a gift and it was a huge success that I opened several more as well as fund for scholarships for both the mothers and kids. Which is what brings me to now, a charity dinner and auction to help fund said scholarships and pay for all the shelter necessities.

He promised he would be here. It’s important for the donors to see him here seeing as though he donated a huge sum once more and could ease the minds of those who are teetering on the edge. It’s also important to me. This project is mine, something I created and shared with the world and I want to share it with him too.

I want him to celebrate this accomplishment with me and he is nowhere to be found.

“He’ll be here. Rafe promised.” I clear my throat, “He knows how important this is to me.”

Rai gave me a doubtful look and I know that I couldn’t convince her anymore than I could convince myself. The engagement ring that bore my finger instantly weighed a ton.

Glancing down at the large diamond that once meant the promise of everything, stared back at me as nothing more than a simple accessory.

Rafe had proposed and foolishly I believed that it would save us so I said yes.

I stayed and time and time again, the disappointment slowly began to etch away at the childish hope I tried to cling onto until only a dull ache remained.

“Don’t you look lovely?” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I let out a sheepish laugh as I take in Kiara’s parents. 

“Thank you guys so much for coming.” The words ring true but I couldn’t help but feel like I was underwater. My focus is shot and I find myself hardly listening with my eyes darting to the front door every minute or so, desperate to see the man I used to think would never stop loving me. 

I float around the room, committed to being a gracious host, because I would not let him take this from me too. Not when he’s taken everything else already. This is the only piece left of me. 

My cheeks hurt two hours later from all the fake smiles and my throat burns from the feigned laughing. The sound of my own voice makes me wince. 

In those two hours, I felt my confidence slowly get chipped piece by piece as everyone questioned where my fiancé was. And for a moment, I hated him. I truly hated him because even this small piece of heaven I made for myself is tied into him. 

Honey, I need to run some numbers with Rafe. Where is he hiding? 

Where is the biggest investor? Surely, he’s here, right?

I haven't seen Mr. Cameron. Has he stepped out? 

With which I responded,” Work emergency, you know how it is. He’s nothing if not committed.” Considering most of these possible donors run their own large companies, they completely understand but it’s their partners reactions that seem to leave me stunned. 

Each had a warm look of understanding dancing in their eyes as I’m sure they’ve used the same excuse time and time again.

I can only take so much. So I excuse myself and glance at the small gold heart shaped watch on my delicate wrist and take note of the time.

There was only 30 minutes left and I haven't gotten so much as a text from him. 

A pit began to form where my stomach used to be as I realized once more that he wasn’t coming. As I stood in a packed room, filled with a flurry of activity, surrounded by people, I’ve never felt more alone.

Then my eyes connect with Mrs. Dune, the wife of a finance guru that works alongside Rafe. She was much older than I, having been with her husband for 30 years but she looked even older. 

It’s almost as though she can read my thoughts, because she sends me a sad smile as she lets her eyes go to where her husband stands talking to other donors. I haven't seen him talk to her the whole night, instead she’s been standing at his side saying nothing. 

I take an uneven breath and my eyes widen in realization. Was this what I had to look forward to? A life sentence of loneliness vacant of any warmth and attention? 

Swallowing hard, I force my eyes away and stare at the door. Begging whoever will listen to please, this once, let me be wrong. I’m so in my thoughts that I’m startled when a soft hand lands on my arm.

“You get used to it. Eventually, you’ll feel nothing.” Mrs. Dune says quietly, her eyes moving back to her husband, with a look I can only describe as longing. 

That’s the thing. I don't want to get used to it. This isn’t how I want to be loved.

“What you’ve accomplished is amazing. Don’t let him take that away from you.” Was her parting words and she left, not sparing her husband another glance. 

When I turn to see if he noticed she left, he’s still engaged in conversations and doesn’t spare her a glance. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. This is Amy Park.” Rai looks ecstatic as she introduces me to the stunning tall woman next to her. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Park.” The words come out on instinct.

“I wanted to discuss how open you would be to expanding shelters nationwide?”

And for the first time in awhile, a real smile graces my face as I answer her question. 

_____________________

The first thing I notice when I pull into our driveway is the plethora of cars that fill it. The second thing I pick up on is familiar vibrations of music with each step I take along our pathway. 

My front door is wide open as people come in and out, clearly under the influence of something and my chest constricts. 

This is what he’s been doing? This was more important than me? 

Clutching my keys tightly, I welcome the familiar biting against my skin. I recognize many of the faces, most of them having gone to school with Rafe. 

If it was any other night, I would have joined them. We were only 22 and yet have lived what seems to be a hundred lives. But, this is different. He’s different. 

Climbing up the staircase, I head to the balcony where I hear a familiar boast of laughter. 

I cleared my throat. “What’s so funny?”

Heads snap in my direction but my eyes are only on one. One that currently has a short black haired girl nearly in his lap. I recognize her as a bartender at one of the local grills/bars we frequent. 

“Don’t you look gorgeous-“ Topper attempts to run interference, but it’s too late. I raise my hand to silence him. I’ve already seen everything I needed too. 

His body is positioned slightly in front of them as if I was going to body slam them. I might actually. 

“Hey, wait! How did the donor dinner go?” Topper's eyes dart to Rafe’s. “That was tonight right?”

I see the moment everything clicks. His eyes rake down from my newly styled hair to the louboutins in my feet. Everything I wore from the jewelry on my body to the shoes on my feet he bought me, and I’ve never felt more sick.

Rafe clenches his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “Fuck.”

Fuck, indeed.

“Get out of my way, Topper.”

He throws a worried glance to Rafe. “I think maybe-“

“Top, give us a second.” Rafe mutters tensely. He keeps his hard set gaze on me, drilling into me, almost as though he’s daring me to move. 

Kelce stands up giving me an apologetic look. “Rafe, man, there’s a bunch of people here.”

I force myself to look away. 

“Not right now, Kells.” 

He wasn’t wrong. This house was full of people, but the only difference being that none of them matter. Not to me and not to Rafe. 

Steady. Keep steady and just breathe. 

“So what should I do-“

I look at him. Me or them? It was unsaid but he knew what I was asking him. 

“Back the fuck off and give me a fucking second with my girl.” Rafe barks out, running a rough hand through the short cropped strands that brush against his forehead. 

Both hold their hands up in mock surrender before shuffling off to the side. The girl doesn’t get up. 

Topper coughs. “Sophia.” 

Her eyes take me in with clear distaste. Her hand is still dangerously close to Rafe’s waistband. I raise a single eyebrow giving her one last opportunity to move. 

She doesn’t. Not when Kelce calls out for her either.

Sophia made her bed. Setting my bag down, I take three big steps before I’m roughly shoving her off the couch sending her sprawling on the floor. 

Rafe let’s out a curse but makes no move to help her. At least he’s not stupid.

“Get out.” The words leave no room for negotiation.

The glare she sends me is filled with ice. “I was invited.”

Kelce lets out a groan before whispering,”Is she serious?”

The fake smile I’ve perfected over the years decorated my face as I bent down to her height on the floor. 

Flashing my engagement ring in her face. “Get out of my fucking house.”

That seems to shut her up and I watch with narrowed eyes as she struts away, Topper and Kelce in tow.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears while my chest feels like it’s going to explode. I turn around slowly to face my damnation. 

My heels click against the marble floor and with each step I take, the more the ache in my chest grows. Marching up to Rafe, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. Those familiar glacial blue eyes are red. His pupils are blown wide and my chest cracks wide open. 

He’s high. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

This is what he wanted to do instead of being there for me. Instead of supporting me. Instead of loving me. 

Dying would be less painful.

 I stare directly into those eyes, searching for an answer, wondering when the love he felt for me slowly became indifference.

I’d almost rather there be a mistress rather than this cold indifference.

“Did you have fun at least?” My words are soft but the intention is anything but. 

He says nothing. Instead Rafe studies me like I’m a wounded animal. 

Dark. Beautiful. Cruel. 

Those are the words I’d use to describe the man in front of me. The gaze that once felt like a soft caress on my skin now felt clinical. 

“It seems like you’re having fun.” I quip, flicking the small bag filled with familiar white powder. 

I thought I could fix him. I will not make that mistake again.

“I completely forgot-“

“How?” I ask. 

His eyes narrow like he’s trying to figure me out. “Work got insanely busy. You know how it is. Even if I own the place, I’m young and the older guys don’t respect me.”

“It was in your work calendar.” 

“No, it wasn’t-“

“It was also on your personal calendar and our joint one. I had your assistant send you a reminder email. So my question is how?” My voice wobbled and it was only by a small miracle that I didn’t throw something in his face. “How did you forget the only thing I’ve asked you for?” 

Something flickered in his eyes. “It wasn’t intentional. It slipped my mind.”

“Something I worked so hard to accomplish just slipped your mind?” Exhaustion has finally got the better of me and I finally let him see just how much he’s managed to chip away. 

“I should have been there for you and I’m so sorry,” His throat flexed a hard swallow. “But there will be other dinners.” 

The dull ache in my chest thrummed harder. Rafe was brushing this off, just like he always did. My skin flushed. 

At my silence, he braces his elbows on his knees and leans forward, tracking my every move. “I feel like you’re not understanding me.”

“No, I understand you just fine. It just wasn’t important enough for you.”

He stilled. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Of course it wasn’t what he meant but he’s managed to make me feel so insignificant. So small. 

“I know that you’ve canceled most of our dates for work. Even an anniversary once. I know that you missed the grand opening of the shelter that I spent a year and half planning.” I force the words out, each breath I take feeling like needles. “I asked for this one thing, Rafe and you couldn’t even give me that.” 

“What about everything I have given you? This house, the car you drive in, the clothes on your back, the boat?”

It’s like I’m staring at 16 year old Rafe again. To him, material things were the equivalent to love. He couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I find that I was much happier when I had little to nothing, than I am now, sitting here with everything, in my gown and jewels. 

“I didn't ask for any of those things.” By the stubborn gleam in his eyes, I knew he was going to fight me on everything. 

Lately, his tactic was always combative and it was easier to give in or to not say anything at all. 

 “No, but you took them all the same. I fucked up, I get that. I know what this shelter means to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t even have it if it weren’t for me.”

A familiar buzzing filled my ears. His words were ugly but they weren’t a lie. Even my project was his. I had nothing of my own.

I wonder how many other people came to the same revelation. Maybe that’s why so many of them asked where he was? Because this accomplishment wasn’t mine, no clearly it was his.

There is not enough room in my chest for the ache he caused. 

Words can’t seem to make it to my lips. I think my brain has finally broken and realizes that no words I say will get him to change. 

Smoothing out my dress, I stand on shaky legs before kicking off my heels. He can keep them. With that, I leave him out on the porch and make a beeline towards our his room. 

Opening the closet doors, I reach for the suitcase before setting it on the bed. I wasn’t going to be like Mrs. Dune and waste away beside a man that used to love me, hoping that one day he will once more. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” The words are hard and low. 

Rafe stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is brewing with several emotions I can't quite place. 

It was funny. I haven't seen this much emotion from him in months.

I ignore him and toss some clothes from my dresser into the open suitcase, making sure to grab only the clothes I needed.

I slowly take off each piece of jewelry and set it on my vanity. He can keep everything he so gloriously mentioned he bought. 

“You loved me once.” I state, tilting my head to the side. I rake over every detail of his face, knowing I’ll never forget it. 

I loved him once too. 

His face morphed to one of confusion before disbelief. “I still love you. That’s never changed.” 

I shake my head. “Yes, it has.”

Rafe stalks towards me, his hand reaching to burl around my neck while the other pulls me to him by my waist. Familiar cologne fills my lungs and I count to ten mentally. It was the same cologne I bought him when we first started dating. 

“I work too much, I know. That’s my fault and I’ll cut back. I’ll be home more and we can spend time together. I’ll do better.” Taking my chin between two fingers, he forces my eyes to his. I see the sincerity in his eyes but I know how this goes. 

The same way it’s gone the last two times. He’ll beg me to stay, promise to change, and things will be good for a month before he slowly starts missing dates or canceling trips we’ve planned months before. Then the cycle repeats. 

“No.” It was time to love myself. Since he clearly couldn’t do it. I will not allow myself to get lost in him again. 

“Baby, just wait. Will you wait-“ He huffs as I try to move around him. No such success as his towering body has me moving back and suddenly I’m caged in by his arms. “Just give me a second, okay?”

“I’ve given you years. I won’t give you another second.” 

“Talk to me.” His voice breaks. “Please just talk to me.”

Longing filled my body. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for months come so easily to him, but only when I already have one foot out the door.

 “I’m alone.” The words come out strangled. “ I’m alone in this. I have been for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Baby, I’m right here.” Rafe’s gripping onto me tighter, almost like he’s ensuring I don’t leave. “I’m right here.”

“You're never here. That’s exactly my point.” 

Rafe’s eyes widen before he shakes his head wildly, staring at me like I’m speaking another language. “That’s not true-“

“What’s today?”

“What?” 

“What’s today?” I repeat, my eyes never leaving his. I want to see every emotion that storms in his eyes, just to remind myself that he is capable of emotion after all. 

“Friday.” 

I smile at him sadly. Exactly my point. “I haven't seen you since Tuesday.” 

“No, that can’t be right. I was with you when we had lunch with-“ He breaks off, reaching for his phone in his pocket. I watch as he pulls up his calendar, an action that mortifies me, and confirms our scheduled date.

 “Tuesday.” He whispers, shocked even. 

I wasn’t. Rafe had to check his calendar to confirm that last time he’s seen his fiancé. 

“You used to come bring me lunch. If you were more than a couple hours, you always found your way to me or gave me a call that you’ll be late.” I shrugged, blinking back the tears stinging my eyes. “Now, I don’t think I’d get a call if you were in the hospital.”

The buzzing in my ears intensifies.

 “You didn’t tell me any of this. None of how you were feeling and you're ready to walk out the door without so much as an argument.” A spark of my old Rafe appears as frustration dances across his face.

“I should have-“

“You’re giving up.” He states, shaking his head in anger. 

Maybe I was. “I’m tired of fighting for us. You gave up a long time ago.” 

Large hands curl around my cheeks, pulling me towards his face. Rafe rests his forehead on mine, his piercing blue eyes darting across my face in panic. 

“I love you. I love you.” He knows he’s grasping at straws, but we feel like strangers now. The words don’t feel like they used to. “You know I love you.”

 “This isn’t how I want to be loved, Rafe. I see you every couple days, the only time we’re ever together is when we have sex.” We lost sight of how we once were. The only thing that remained good between us was sex. 

That alone isn’t healthy. He goes to open his mouth but I cut him off.

“We never talk and when we do, you don’t even listen to me. Your brain is always somewhere else.” 

“I’m in a relationship with a ghost. I’m not letting you suck the life out of me anymore.” My eyes catch the sparkling ring that once brought me such happiness. Now, it simply feels like a ball and chain. 

Before I can convince myself otherwise, I start to tug it off my finger when Rafe truly begins to panic. 

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” I try to hand it to him but Rafe jolts back like he’s been burned. The look he gives my empty hand is nothing short of destroyed.

I think I’m going to throw up. His words are laced with raw grief that makes it hard for me to breathe.

“Put it back on.” I hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” My lips wobble. 

“Please put it back on because if you don’t that means we’re over. That’s not us. We aren’t supposed to end.”

“Rafe, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“You’re ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. This isn’t anywhere near hard, it’s excruciating.” Rafe’s hand is notably shaking, but he tries to hide it by clenching and unclenching his palms. 

“Welcome to the last year of my life.” The words are brutal but he needs to hear them. 

“You promised me we’d never end.” 

“You promised to change. I guess we both lied.”

Rafe raises his voice, his arms thrown up in the air in clear distress, “How can you just stand there?”

It was a miracle I haven’t collapsed on my shaky legs yet. The adrenaline pumping though my veins was the only thing getting me through this torture. “Rafe, stop it.”

“You talk about indifference?” Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head up at the ceiling. “Who’s heartless now, baby?”

“You don’t get to put this on me. I’ve given you years of my life, showered you with nothing but love and support. I asked for one night, one fucking night, in your busy schedule and you didn’t bother to show up, or send a simple text.” I intake a sharp breath, pushing the hair out of my face with a shaky hand. “Instead, you threw a party in our home and got high.”

I point a finger at his chest, staring at him with open heartbreak. “I needed you,” The tightness in my chest finally pops as I choke on a loud sob, “I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I lost sight of what’s important to me. I’m just trying to give you everything-” I cut him off. 

Grabbing the clothes I haphazardly tossed in the suitcase, ”You want this? Take it,” I shove them into his chest, “Take all of it. I don’t want it. I’d give this all away in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back.”

I meant every word. I wanted my best friend back, the person I confided in and depended on. I wanted our late nights back watching trashy reality TV. We used to sit in the bathtub together basking in each other's company. Went on walks along the beach or took the boat out for hours, fucking on the deck, not caring that anyone could see. 

It used to be simple. He loved me and I loved him. 

“I’m angry, baby.I’m so damn angry all the time. At my fucking dad for always having these impossible expections. Then he goes and dies, leaving me without a clue on how to manage everything.” Rafe sags against the wall, exhaustion marring his features, his blue eyes pleading for me to understand. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”

I had no idea this was how he was feeling. But, he never let me in. “You could have told me, we’re supposed to be partners in this. You asked me to marry you!”

I think deep down I know that he felt me slipping through his fingers at one point. He could see clearly how unhappy I’ve become and that’s why he proposed. And maybe just like him, I thought the proposal could fix us. This proposal was being manipulated on both ends, it was doomed from the start.

You can’t fix what’s already broken. 

“My head has basically been a war zone and I’m losing. The only thing keeping me sane is that I know, when I walk through that door,” he points to our bedroom door, “I’m going to find you in our bed. Every. Single. Night.” 

“I can’t let the ugly touch you.” My heart splits into two at his words. Words I know feel like acid leaving his mouth. “You’re the only thing I have left.”

“Then you should have taken better care of me. You should have let me take care of you.” 

“Fuck,” He screams, bending down and swiping the lamp clean of the nightstand. The lamp goes flying into the wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces and my eyes are drawn to them. I can’t help but think it reminds me of us.

Dragging my eyes back to his, I fight the urge to wrap him in my arms. Seeing him in pain has never brought me joy, but this was brutal. His eyes shined with unmistakable tears, realizing the strength of my resolve. 

There was no going back this time. There was no trying again. I didn’t have another try in me. 

I grip onto the fabric of my dress moving towards him, my heart pounding out of my chest. He moves instantly, holding out his hand to guide me over the shattered lamp. Why couldn’t he be like this months ago?

Why did he let it get this bad? Why couldn’t he love me?

Now, standing in front of him, I let myself one deep breath, basking in the comforting smell of him. A large hand curls around my neck, his grip strong and firm, demanding my attention. His blue eyes are daunting and so intense, I find myself fighting the urge to look away.

“I’m going to get you back.”

”Take it, Rafe.” I whisper, uncurling his limp hand, “Take it. It doesn’t mean what I want it to.”

Tears blur my vision as I fumble with the ring he refuses to take.

 Rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “There’s no point in taking it off if it’s gonna go right back there in a couple weeks. ”

I can’t help but smile at the determination in his voice. He sounds like the old Rafe and for a second I see a glimmer of who he used to be.

 He had me. Then he lost me. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“If spending the next few months without you means that I get to spend a lifetime with you, I can manage. I’ll do whatever I have to.  But don’t think for a second that there is anyone else on this entire fucking planet meant for you.”

That’s how I want to be loved. Too little too late.

I drop the ring.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

I just got diagnosed with chronic migraines recently, and today I woke up with one, so that was the inspiration lol

Logan was starting to get concerned. He hadn't heard from you all day, and now that he was thinking of it, he hadn't heard from you nearly all week. He asked around and got no answer on your whereabouts. He did find out that you canceled your classes for the week. In the three years of knowing you, he has never seen you cancel class for anything. Not even for when you had the flu. Growing more concerned, he decided to stop by your apartment to see if you were there.

When he got to your complex, he could see that your curtains were tightly drawn, and when he got to your door, he saw that your mailbox was overflowing with the past weeks' worth of mail. He grabbed everything in the box before unlocking the door with the spare key you gave him and let himself inside. When he stepped in a shiver ran down his spin "fuck it's cold" he muttered to himself as he ventured into your small space.

As he walked further in he saw the main living rooms ac unit on and he heard the bedroom ac unit on no wonder it's fucking freezing "Sweetheart?" He called out as he looks around, the space looked lived in. It didn't look like you left in a hurry so you had to be home and your car was parked out front still. He hears a muted groan coming from your bedroom that causes concern to rise in his chest. "Baby?" He calls out more frantic than before as he makes his way to the room but his movements come to a halt when he opens the door and finds you under a nest of pillows, blankets and stuffed animals. The room is like ice and your cat is by your feet ready to hiss at the intruder before it recognizes Logan. His heart drops as he sees pain gloss over your features.

"Oh baby." He whispers and closes the door behind him softly, he doesn't have to ask what's wrong he knows. These flare ups have been happening more and more and it kills him each time he witnesses one because he knows there isn't much he can do to help.

As he kicks off his boots you reach out and pull him into your bed of pillows and blankets. "Before you ask yes. I've taken my medicine, I've drank water, I've had caffine, I've eaten, hell I've even sat outside for a while to get vitamin D. I think I'm just supposed to be in a den." You mumble and bitch into his chest as you move around to get comfortable once again. He knows how frustrating this has been for you, first no one believed you when you said you had migraines no one but him. 'Oh they're just bad headaches' that's what everyone said to you but headaches don't last days, they don't make you nauseous or dizzy, they don't make it feel like any sort of light will make your head explode.

He knows that once you have done that checklist and still nothing has worked all he can do is lay there with you in your little den as you like to call it and hold you in his arms. All he can do is try and remind you that everything will be okay and hopefully after your nap you will feel better and everything will be back to being okay again. And if the nap doesn't help he'll help you go through the checklist one more time until something does help, he can't survive long since his love in pain.

[amournoir]

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

pairing: sarah cameron x f!reader

count: 3.6k

warning: smut [boob play, scissoring, toys, oral receiving & giving, language?]

author’s note: continuation of ‘firsts’, idk where this is going so we’ll see. have fun reading & remember this is 21+! 💋

It had been a week since you last saw Sarah and almost two weeks since you two had been in the same room alone. It wasn’t as though you were ignoring her, she just became busy with the pogues which brought us to today. Sarah had invited you and Kiara over for a girls night. You didn’t suspect anything aside from the usual gossip, skincare, mani/pedis, etc. that took place at every girls night. Except this would be the first time you hung out with Kiara alone. She was always wrapped up in the guys or some ‘save the planet’ shit so you only saw her in passing, never private. 

After you finished packing your bag, you grabbed your silk pajamas and towel then headed for the shower. During sleepovers, you and Sarah normally took showers at the house but you didn’t know if the norm for you and Sarah would be the same with Kiara included. Once you had unbraided your hair, you hopped in your shower and let the hot water relax you. Twenty minutes later and you were out, drying yourself then oiling then dressing. You pulled your freshly washed hair in a bun, no need to dry since it did so by itself. With your bag fully packed and you clean, you slipped on your uggs slippers and grabbed your phone as you headed downstairs. 

Your mom waited in the car as you double checked everything and then you two were off. It took less than ten minutes to get to her house but you refused to walk or heaven forbid, bike there— in your pajamas. Your mom waved at you goodbye and you returned it, turning around to knock rapidly on the front door. A minute or two later, Rafe opened up with a confused look. 

“Hey Y/N. Why are you here?” 

You furrowed your brows, “The sleepover, what else?” 

“Sarah didn’t tell you?” 

“Tell me what?” 

He scratched the back of his neck as he often does when he’s uncomfortable. “She and Kiara had some sort of fight so she canceled.” 

Before I could say anything, he quickly added, “But you’re her best friend so I doubt she’d cancel on you.” 

I looked up in the direction of the stairs and pointed. “Can I go up and check?” 

“Yeah, yeah sure.” He closed the front door and locked it. 

Before he could walk away, I asked, “If it is, could you drop me home?” 

“Of course Y/N.” He smiled and walked away to some other part of the house as I headed up the stairs. 

When I got closer to her room, it was the very last one in the long hallway, I could hear music. Her door was closed but the music drowned out the sound of me opening it. I leaned against the frame as I watched her bob her head around with her headphones in. I stood there for a minute or more then decided to interrupt. I waved my hand in front of me and that’s when her head perked up. 

“Y/N! You’re here!” She exclaimed, taking out one earbud. 

“Yeah but I probably shouldn’t be. Apparently tonight is canceled?” I asked with a raised brow. 

“Oh that. Yeah, kinda.” This was unlike her, she always had an explanation. 

I crossed my hands over my chest and waited. She stared at me, sighed then removed the other earbud and turned her phone off. She fixed her posture and sat crisscrossed, patting the space in front of her on the bed. I closed the door behind me, dropping my bag on the floor near the foot of the bed then sat down with one leg dangling off the edge. 

Sarah explained that it was meant to be a girls night but she and Kiara got into an argument, as Rafe had mentioned. Apparently Kiara didn’t want me to hangout with the guys because, in her words, ‘one kook is enough’. That didn’t make any sense considering she was a kook as well but that was the argument. Sarah pointed out that we had been friends since childhood and I knew the guys, there wasn’t a reason why I couldn’t hang out with all of them but Kiara didn’t want another kook. Sarah thought this sleepover would bring Kiara and I closer but the moment she found out, she refused to come, hence why Sarah canceled it. 

I was aware that Kiara wasn’t a fan of me but she had no reason why. She didn’t know me, only knew of me from others. The thing that bothered me the most was her calling me a kook as if she was a pogue. Anyways, there was no love lost. I just knew I had to steer clear of her, I couldn’t force the girl to be my friend but I was hoping to be cordial though.  

“Don’t worry about her Y/N. I spoke to the guys and they’re down to hang without Kie.” Sarah assured me. 

I let out a soft scoff, “Pope would never, maybe JJ or John B sometimes.” 

“Yeah, he’ll be hard to convince but whatever. It’s girls night so what do you say about spending it without her?” 

I shrugged and said, “I’m cool with it. More fun for us!” 

“Rightttt…speaking of fun…” Sarah trailed off. 

“Oh no.” 

“I haven’t said anything yet!” 

“Sarah, whenever you start dragging your words, you have something planned.” 

She huffed, “Guilty.” She added quickly with a smirk, “Butttt, I promise you’ll like it.” 

“What is it?” 

Her face broke out in a wide grin, “Promise to keep an open mind?” 

“Now I’m nervous.” 

“No, don’t be! It’s fun!” 

I let out a small chuckle, “So then tell me, what is it?” 

“First close your eyes and remain seated.” 

And just like that my smile went away. What on earth could she possibly be up to this time?! I knew I wouldn’t get any answers out of her so I agreed and closed my eyes. She got off the bed, walked toward her closet or was it her bathroom? I couldn’t tell but before she returned to the bed, she went to her door and locked it. I could hear her footsteps coming back towards me then the bed dipped and she sat in front of me. 

“Okay now open.” 

I opened one eye at a time but nothing in the room looked different. There was a box in front of me however, it was just a medium sized black delivery package. I stared at it then looked up at her then down at the box again. Was it an animal? Drugs? Expensive alcohol to hide from Rafe and Ward? 

“It’s a box. I don’t get it.” 

She smiled and slowly opened it. There were three smaller packages inside, also in black but they had different shapes. One by one, Sarah carefully unwrapped them as she paid close attention to my reaction. At first I furrowed my brows in confusion but the second it hit me, I gasped then stared in surprise and curiosity. 

“Tell me you didn’t.” 

“I did. Y/N I so did!” 

“Does anyone know?” 

“Nope. I’ve been watching the mailman like a hawk the past week.” 

“Where’d you even get them?” 

“Online. They have a return policy in case I don’t like it.” 

“Do you?” 

“I dunno. I haven’t tried it yet.” 

I raised one brow and asked, “Will you?” 

“Yeah…” She started then continued, “…if you try it with me.” 

I accidentally let out a laugh, “Sarah I’ve never used them!” 

“So let’s do it together! What are best friends for?” 

“I don’t think normal best friends share sex toys.” 

“Well that’s because they’re boring. Besides I like playing with you, we shared toys when we were younger.” 

I fully let out a laugh, “Sarah, barbie dolls and dildos aren’t the same thing!” 

“So you don’t want to?” She pouted slightly. 

“I didn’t say that but…I might be convinced into it.” 

Sarah smirked and before I knew what was happening, she unbuttoned her pajama top slowly. She shrugged it off her shoulders and sat there, staring at me. She had nothing underneath so for a while, we both sat in silence as I ogled at her boobs. Slowly, she cupped both breasts in her hands and rubbed them against each other. Her fingers brushed over her nipples and a faint moan left her lips. 

I licked my own and looked up at her, all she did was nod. Without a word spoken between us, I reached forward and fondled them in my hands. They were so full and warm. I bounced them around, enjoying watching them sway in different directions. I lowered my head and took one boob in my mouth, it tasted just how I remembered it. I was too greedy though, I wanted the other in my mouth as well so I tried stuffing them. This made Sarah moan. I suckled on them like a baby, eyes fully closed as I immersed myself fully into it. 

After a while, I pulled away and looked down at them. They were red with bite marks and saliva all over, I felt quite proud. I quickly reached down my own shirt and pulled it over my head, leaving my naked chest exposed to her. As if we were thinking the same thing, we both grinded our chests against each other. Her wet sticky boobs rubbed against mine, the body heat turning us on even more. We pulled apart and wordlessly, stood up and took our pajama bottoms off along with the underwear. 

I got back on the bed and spread my legs apart, Sarah sat in front of me and widened her legs as well. She spit into her hand and wiped it on my cunt then on her own. She inched closer until I could feel her cunt against mine, she looked at me as though to ask for permission and I nodded my head. The moment our pussies touched, I let out a moan. We were both very warm and wet. I lowered my head slightly and spit in between us. Sarah moved her hips first then I followed, we continued until we reached a good pace. 

The squelching noises of our pussies rubbing against each other was doing it for me. I grinded even harder against her, our boobs practically slapping each other but we didn’t care. We just wanted to reach our high regardless of the lewd noises. This went on for a bit until suddenly she shook. I saw this as my opportunity to take charge so I did. I easily pushed her down until she was laying flat on the bed on her back then I swung my leg over and adjusted myself. I lifted her leg up and held onto it for support as I rode her pussy. 

Sarah could do nothing but lay down and take it, she reached up to slap my ass but otherwise, she praised me to go on. I no longer cared for her needs, I just wanted to cum. I was determined to ride her until I got my fill and even more after. I could feel myself tensing up and right on time, she shook again. Mere moments later, she squirted right on my pussy and I came on hers. In the heat of the moment, I licked up her leg, kissing and sucking different spots. 

“Fuck Y/N, that was so hot!” She exclaimed, a wide grin on her face. 

“Right? Shit that squirt made me cum more.” 

“You like that baby? You like when I squirt on you?” 

“So fucking much.” I bit my lip as I peered over at the toys. “How about I do it again?” 

Sarah smiled and gave my ass a light tap. I got off of her as she reached for a light purple, almost lavender, two-sided dildo. She sat up and looked at me then placed the toy over my lips. I obeyed immediately and opened my mouth, making sure to stick out my tongue. She inserted the dildo slowly then pushed it to the back of my throat, pulled it out and did it again. I had a gag reflex so each time I would gag on it then cough. She kept repeating it several times until I no longer coughed but still gagged. 

“Aww you look so pretty baby. Taking all that purple cock in your throat.” She cooed. 

I couldn’t respond so I just nodded. 

“Can’t speak? Too busy choking on my cock?” 

My eyes started to water, she was going a bit rougher now. Saliva was dripping down my chin. 

“What a pretty whore. She likes cocks and tribbing and boobs. Do you want me to fuck your mouth?” 

I nodded quickly as my pussy clenched on thin air from her words. I was a good whore for her. I liked being fucked with a purple dildo. I liked stuffing her boobs in my mouth. Yes, I was a whore for Sarah Cameron. 

“Okay baby but first I want you to beg for it.” Sarah replied as she pulled the whole dildo out. 

I gasped at the fresh air, my eyes already blurry. “Please mommy, fuck my mouth. I promise to be a good girl for you.” 

“Mm that’s a nice start but I want more.” 

“I’ll let you fuck both holes mommy but now I just wanna suck.” 

Sarah smiled and bit her lip excitedly. She tapped my mouth again and I opened once more. I was sitting on my knees but I leaned forward in excitement. With my boobs dangling about, Sarah shoved the dildo deeper into my throat and used her free hand to pinch my nipples. She slapped them around and commanded ‘bounce’ so I did. I made my tits bounce around for her as I choked on the cock. I felt very whore-like and I actually liked it. 

Before I got too into it, she immediately pulled it out and simply said ‘bend over’ which I did as well. On all fours, I stared at the floor length mirror in front of me and saw my reflection. Sarah had situated herself behind me, rubbing my cunt as I waited with legs wide open for her. She spit on my ass and it dripped down to my pussy, my body instinctively clenched and she chuckled. 

Sarah rubbed one of the heads of the dildo against my cunt then slowly inserted it. I had never had anything inside me so the feeling was very odd and uncomfortable as hell. I let out slow deep breaths and Sarah soothed my back. She went very slowly, only continuing when I would nod. Minutes later, I was relaxed and my pussy ached for more. I wiggled my ass a bit and she smiled, gave it a slap then pushed the dildo deeper. 

She would push it in then out then twist it back in and so on. This went on for a while until I was seconds away from coming but she’d stop. Each time she’d deny me release, I’d whine and she would push it back in again. The edging was beautifully painful. 

“For a first timer, you’re taking this cock so well baby.” 

“Please let me cum.” 

“Only if I fuck that thick ass too.” 

I lowered my chest to the bed and raised my ass up, “Fuck me mommy.” 

“Mm just like that baby. Keep that ass up for me.” 

I waited until I felt the other head of the dildo enter. Somehow it was less uncomfortable than my pussy. I nodded and she pushed more of the length inside. Now both of my holes were filled and the thought just drove me wild. Sarah used both hands to fuck me, one fucked my pussy and the other my ass. I was nothing but a moaning mess, begging for more. 

The sight of myself from the mirror was what made me squirt so much, it didn’t just hit the bed but also her chest. She laughed and fucked me even faster, I didn’t think I could cum again but I did. She removed the one in my ass and I thought my turn was done but instead she stuck her tongue in and licked whilst shoving the dildo deeper in my pussy. She spat into my ass and on my cunt as she kept on mercilessly drilling that dildo deeper and faster. I let out a loud scream as my entire body shook, went limp for a few seconds, then came on the cock. She pulled it out too fast, I moaned at its exit but her mouth was on my pussy to suck my cum. She ate me out for a moment then pressed a kiss and pulled away. 

“Holy shit Y/N! It was like a freaking waterfall.” She sat back on the bed and licked her lips. “Tasty though.” 

I laid on my stomach for a few minutes without saying a word then turned around and sat up. “Careful, fuck me like that again and you’ll ruin me.” 

“That’s the plan baby. You’re all mine.” She smiled and spread her legs apart, patting on her cunt. “Now fuck mommy too.” 

I took the dildo from her hand and asked, “Is it your first time too?” 

She nodded, “Yeah so please gentle first.” 

“I promise…” I started then finished, “…to ruin you too.” 

Before she could respond, I spread her pussy lips open then with a mouthful of saliva, I spit into the hole. I put the dildo inside slowly but it went in quite easily thanks to my spit in her pussy. I looked at her and she smiled so I pushed deeper a bit then pulled out. I pushed it in again and went deeper, I kept repeating these actions whilst spitting to keep her wet. Her pussy was so greedy, it happily swallowed the cock deeper. 

I now started to fuck her with it, slowly at first but when she begged for faster, I was unforgiving. I pounded that silicone purple cock into her wet needy pink walled pussy until she moaned endlessly for me. I put the other end in my mouth and fucked her that way instead, I bobbed my head faster and faster, equally fucking her and me. I was choking on it but I couldn’t stop, the sight of her cum dripping down the cock spurred me on. I sucked and fucked with all my strength but before I could move, she accidentally squirted and it got on my face. 

I pulled my mouth away with a loud gasp but I wasn't ready to end it yet. With half the dildo still inside Sarah, I got up and squatted as I slowly lowered myself onto the other half. She was propped against the pillows whilst I was now sitting on top of her, the two-sided dildo in both of us. I grabbed my own boobs and played with them as I rode her. I switched between grinding on the cock and bouncing on it, Sarah encouraged me, telling me how pretty I looked fucking her. We continued fucking each other for a long while, i simply enjoyed the feeling of a cock inside me so I prolonged it. Sarah and I each came twice but I kept riding and she begged for me to stop. 

“No, I want to keep riding.” 

“Please! I can’t cum anymore Y/N.” 

“But I like seeing you filled to the brim.” 

“Fuck Y/N, don’t say that.” 

“You like that? Wanna hear me say how full you look? How your hole is stuffed and your cunt is covered with our cum?” 

“Keep going, I’ll cum again.” 

“That’s it mommy. Cum on my pretty pussy. Look at your big tits bouncing around.” 

“Please keep going.” 

I reached down and gathered a bit of the cum then wiped it on her lips. I lowered my head and kissed her, my hips grinding forcefully against hers. She was quick to suck my bottom lip in so we tongued each other. Our boobs were slipping and sliding around, our cunts were squelching, it was all so hot. She came again and moaned into my mouth, we both cummed against each other but we also squirted. I pulled away and continued to ride slowly until I was satisfied and came to a stop. 

I lifted myself off of her and removed the dildo. I looked at Sarah with a satisfied smile. She pushed me back gently and brought her head to my cunt. With small kitten-like licks, she cleaned me up and sucked softly. I closed my eyes and slowly grinded on her lips, she continued until suddenly when I felt something else at my entrance. I opened my eyes and peered down to see her trying to fit her boob into my pussy. I chuckled and she quickly looked up at me, she reached me with a slow crawl. Sarah laid on top of me then placed her nipples on my mouth. 

“Be a good girl and clean mommy’s tits, they’re covered in your cum baby.” She instructed while holding onto her breasts. 

“Yes mommy, I love your boobs.” I said before sucking on one nipple then switching to the other. I continued doing this until Sarah was satisfied. 

We decided on getting cleaned up so while she changed her sheets, I went to her bathroom and started the shower. I came back and she was ready, we went to the shower together where we kissed once more and she inserted the dildo in me and sat on my lap as she rode it. All I could think of at the moment was thank goodness Kiara wasn’t here. I’d have missed out on fucking Sarah senseless and vice versa. Maybe Kiara just needed a good fuck too.

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[lgbtlunaverse]

It seems the dash has been talking about the Lan Xichen - Nie Huaisang post-canon dynamics and it's gotten me thinking about how discussion around post-canon Lan Xichen's absolutely horrendous mental state often center around the question of "who is Lan Xichen angry at and who does he feel guilty about" which, at its worst, seperates into 2 camps where according to one side he feels guilty about not protecting jgy and hates the Nies and, on the other side he has completely flipped on jgy and despises him now while being filled with regret towards both nmj and nhs.

And I dislike both of these takes not just because it often feels like people projecting their own Blorbo opinions onto Lan Xichen which is never a fun time but also because that central question is flawed to begin with. It treats anger and guilt like opposing emotions that can't coexist or, if they do, have to compete until one wins and cancels the other out.

And that's not how that... works.

To be clear, the reason why Lan Xichen is so supremely fucked up at the end of the story is that he believes on some level he fucked over everyone in this situation. And, even more importantly, that even with hindsight he can't actually think of what he should have done instead. Every attempt to do better by one seems to involve fucking over the others even more because these people were in conflict with each other and choosing one would mean standing against another

And none of this would actually stop him from feeling angry at any of them. It's not "who is he angry at and who does he feel guilty about" it's: "he is angry at everyone and feels an immediate and bone deep guilt for daring to think badly of them."

Speaking from personal experience here, but feeling like you're not allowed to be angry at someone because you wronged them really doesn't stop the feeling, it just maks you feel like shit for feeling it. And this is all worsened by the fact that what he's in seclusion for is, at the end of the day, a moral question of what he, Lan Xichen, did wrong and every single emotion serves as further proof of the ways he's failed them.

Is he angry at Jin Guangyao, for killing his oldest friend, using Lan xichen's trust in him to do it, and then lying to him about it and countless other things for a decade when Lan Xichen thought of him as the person he trusted the most in the entire world? Yeah. That's a thing people get angry about! Except Jin Guangyao also saved his life and protected and helped him more times than he can count and never ever hurt him and can Lan Xichen say the same? No. He had to clean A-Yao's blood off Shouyue, he has to be haunted by the fact that if he just hadn't listened to Huaisang- hadn't been just like everyone else, in the end, and believed a lie about Jin Guangyao just to think the worst of him- then Jin Guangyao might still be alive.

Is he angry at Huaisang? For orchestrating the death of his best friend? For making him do it? For knowing what the real cause behind Nie Mingjue's death was and never telling him until he found out in the absolute worst way? Absolutely. But didn't Huaisang hide it from him for a reason? Wasn't it his clan's techniques and his personal faith in Jin Guangyao that cost Huaisang his brother? How dare he demand that Huaisang let him in on the secret of his brother's murderer when Lan Xichen is here wondering about how he should have protected that murderer better!

And I do even think he's angry at Nie Mingjue, sometimes I think it's pretty normal to be angry at your friend for kicking your other friend down the stairs and threatening to kill him, even when you know his mind is being poisoned. And years later the last thing he ever saw of Nie Mingjue was Nie Mingjue's thoughtless corpse coming to kill him before Jin Guangyao pushed him away and then proceeded to graphocally snap Jin Guangyao's neck in front of him. And if what he wants to do is protect Jin Guangyao, shouldn't he be mad at Mingjue? Didn't this whole mess start because Jin Guangyao was afraid Nie Mingjue was going to kill him?

Except holy shit, can you imagine? Lan Xichen feels like he personally has Nie Mingjue's blood on his hands. Your oldest friend is killed in front of you and you happily believe it's an accident for 11 years and now you think you have the right to be mad at him? You watched him get worse as he was being poisoned and attributed it to his illness and not to the techniques stolen from your library with the token you give his murderer. Does he think Nie Mingjue knew who he was in that moment and wanted to kill him? That he blamed Lan Xichen for his death? (For the record, I don't. I don't agree with most of what Lan Xichen thinks about himself, but I've been in a self-blame spiral and I know how it feels)

But what was he supposed to do then? Choose Mingjue's side and let A-Yao die? That's also unacceptable. But so is letting Jin Guangyao get away with it. Every single outcome is unacceptable. And really, if Jin Guangyao felt like he had to kill Nie Mingjue to save himself, when it was Lan Xichen who was supposed to keep the peace between them, isn't that another mark of his failure? That he couldn't protect Jin Guangyao well enough that he felt he had to do something so horrible?

But that's not an answer! He's supposed to know what he should have done different, and all he can come up with is "what you were already doing, but without failing this time" He can't pick a side because that means betrayal, but he's already tried not picking a side and it ended like this! There is no right answer, which can only leave him with the idea that he was simply doomed to hurt the people he loved from the start. No wonder the guy looks like shit when we see him post-canon. They put him in a real life trolley problem and gave him the lever as a souvenir.

[mrsackermannx]

chef!sukuna who’s still lower in the rank than he wants to be, but so close to being a sous. tonight is his night to do the night’s special dish, finally. he earned this. he knew that if the head chef just let him, he could create the best dish ever served at this damn place.

so, he does just that.

he’s immediately scolded, the dish uses too many ingredients, the head says. too much to prepare. too ambitious. even though he used all of the left over ingredients from the menu’s usuals. 0% waste, 0% additional cost.

sukuna curses, taking a deeper drag of his cigarette. “make sure no table gets that shit,” he hears, with his fists clenching at his sides. ill go to the gym after this, he thinks, yeah, punch the fuck out of that bag.

it turns out that only table 8 has the dish, your table. the server messed up and now they’re crying in the back to the porter because they’ve been fired on the spot. “i told you not to fucking take it! have you never done expo-“

sukuna stalks calmly to the shaking waiter, “show me table eight-“ he sighs, levelling the head chef with a glare, sukuna was much larger, much stronger than him, difference in rank or not. he stood down, stalking down the other side of the kitchen with a huff. “ignore him, i wanna see who’s eating my dish, come on, let’s go.”

a reassuring pat to the shoulder from sukuna was almost enough to make him cry even more. sukuna kind of hated everyone.

“just there, chef. the couple, bedside the pillar on the left…its um…her, chef.” he grins, watching how transfixed the normally gruff man is, “your girl heh heh.”

“shut up,” he says, but he smiles a little.

he watches you, sat opposite some guy you hardly look interested in, you’re beautiful, the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, as always, his eyes are drawn to you, no other woman could compare.

he watches you slice through his dish, the fork at your lips, as soon as it reaches your mouth you make a noise of such rapture, a sudden quiet falls upon the floor of the restaurant.

it’s almost weird how heat rushes low at the sight and the sound, he can’t remember the last time anyone else fired him up like this. he never took himself to have any kind of food fetish, either. yet watching you eat his dishes always seems to be an erotic exchange he never anticipates.

“oh…him? think they’re married?”

“i don’t think so.”

that man seems to hiss at you, eyes on his watch, barely touching his dish. “i wanted pizza downtown, god.”

you shake your hand in dismissal, shoving another forkful in your mouth. “i wanted this, i always want this.”

sukuna let’s out a breathy fuck, and the server practically faints.

no one was immune to sukuna’s charm, then, it seemed.

“oh, fuck, table 7 saw me. fuck, chef ive already been fire-“

“go and give them a reason not to fire you. go, go to your table kid, it’s still yours, right?”

the table beside you seems to have called him over, asking for the same dish you seem to believe has came from heaven, telling anybody who asks.

sukuna can’t help but enjoy the lively affair, as the restaurant manager tries to explain over and over to more and more tables that the chef special has been cancelled. oh, how he loved this little bit of chaos.

“why?” your voice clatters through the cacophony like a piece of silverware on crockery. “this dish is phenomenal, the best ive ever eaten here and in this city, in this country-“

“miss-“

“taste it! can you not taste the hard work? the thought? its the best thing ive ever eaten. the chef who made this has impeccable taste and talent.”

your laughter rings through the place at your partners embarrassment. sukuna is about to pry himself away and head back into the kitchen, leaning on the side of the bar and then…your eyes meet, another forkful is waiting before those glossed lips. another sweet sound of joy rings through the air.

now you see him, huh?

your smile is sweeter than agave, “it’s you.”

your words are lost on everyone around you, but to sukuna he hears them as if you whispered them right against his ear.

sukuna was a tall, broad, and unquestionably handsome man, unmissable out of his chef whites, invisible in them, somehow. obscured by the ambient lighting of the restaurant.

you near him, like a moth to a flame, a sensual air to the way your hips flick toward him. “you-“

the head chef storms through to the restaurant floor, the door slamming you both into the corresponding wall. his large arms wrap around you, his hand cups the back of your head.

he slowly retracts his hand, and your chest rises as you resist the urge to press your cheekbone into his palm, “are you okay?”

his voice is deep and addicting, dark and dripping down your throat.

you’re beaming at him, like he’s an angel, like he’s somebody you already adore. he gifts you a lover’s laugh, “you seem to be the only satisfied person in the building tonight.”

“seems like you’ve satisfied me sir.” you wink, still letting his aura press you into the wall, he cages you in with his arms.

“oh?”

“last thursday. that soup, you made it, didn’t you…?”

“sukuna,” he answers for you, “maybe.”

“seafood special last month?”

“yes, and your name?”

for some reason he’s out of breath, you’re so close, so fancy in your silk dress, clad in jewellery that sparkles even under these dimmed lights. “reader, you…you’re a genius.”

“so you came to thank me personally?” he leans closer, swiping sauce from the corner of your lip. it lingers on his thumb, his eyes chase yours as he licks it. “how sweet of you.”

[slutforaemondtargaryen]

Nobody hurts what's mine | Aemond Targaryen

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x wife!reader

Warnings: fluff, mention of rape (not by Aemond), murder/death, blood, slightly dark Aemond, no use of y/n, traumatic event

Summary: While Aemond was out on duty a Lord from the court took advantage of you. Aemond will definitely not let that slide.

Word Count: 1.5k

a/n: hi! i really don't know how i thought of this. i've never written anything like that so it's probably not the best quality, but i hope you like it and enjoy it! any support is very much appreciated.

reblogs, likes and comments are very appreciated <3

DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE MY WORK!

She was sitting in their chambers, Aemond not present. She couldn't stop thinking about what happened.

It was supposed to be a quick dinner with the rest of the court. She would drink a few goblets of wine, eat some food, and quickly disappear to her chambers, where she would fall asleep.

She wasn't planning that Lord Lannister would follow her. He clearly had a few more drinks than he should've. His walking was not very straight.

Before she could even react, he pulled her aside to an empty hallway. She tried to fight him, but he forced himself upon her, putting a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. She bit him multiple times however he didn't seem to feel it at all.

It was probably quick for him. For her, it were the longest minutes of her life. When he was done he just whispered ''Don't tell anyone or something bad will happen.'' and disappeared back to the dining hall.

She quickly went to her chambers. She told a maid to prepare her a bath as quickly as possible and requested moon tea. The maid sent for the moon tea without asking questions nevertheless made sure to let her Lord husband know. The bath was prepared in no time.

Her skin was raw from how strongly she washed her body, the places Lord Lannister touched. Scratches from her nails as she tried so hard to get the awful feeling off her. She felt so dirty all the segments of her skin that his disgusting hands touched. It felt like they were on fire. Tears streamed down her cheeks as everything slowly sunk in. The realization of what actually happened.

So many thoughts were running through her head. Does this mean I was unfaithful to Aemond? Was it my fault? Did I deserve it? Did I provoke him? What if Aemond finds out? What will happen? Will he blame me?

She stepped out of the bath. Water was dripping on the floor, but she did not care. The robe she put on was comfortable, like silky sheets that were caressing her aching skin.

The moon tea was already served on the table, waiting just for her. She drank it quickly, making sure there was no drop left. Praying to the Seven that she would not be with a baby of the filthy Lannister.

When Aemond got the message, he immediately canceled everything he was doing and returned to the King's Landing. He needed to know what made his wife ask for moon tea, and he had a feeling that he won't like it.

When he arrived at the King's Landing, he got off Vhagar's back and without talking to anyone, headed to his shared chambers. He walked quickly, ignoring his mother, Queen Alicent, on the way.

The guards opened the chambers to him. When he looked into the chamber he saw his Lady wife sitting in the armchair in front of the fireplace. She didn't even notice he was there. The doors closed behind him as he walked up to his wife.

He kneeled next to the armchair and sighed. ''One of the maids sent me some information,'' he said while placing his hand on hers. She flinched slightly, which caused him to put his hand away. Wounded a little. ''Is it true that you ordered the moon tea?'' he asked with a soft voice, not wanting to make her feel pressured.

She nodded. She didn't feel like talking at all, she was scared of Aemond's reaction. ''Why?'' he asked. He wanted to touch her, caress her hand, hair, anything, but he wanted to respect her comfort zone.

She kept silent. The bad habit of scratching her fingers until they are bleeding coming back. Aemond noticed it and took her hands in his which made her look at him.

He kneeled in front of her, his face desperate and worried. He loved her too much and he was scared of what happened. His hair was loose over his shoulders. He was wearing his clothes for riding, which he usually took off right after. Not now, his wife was his priority.

He kissed her hands gently, causing her eyes to swell up with tears. Aemond did not understand what was happening so he hugged her. He wanted her to know that he was there for her. She cried over his shoulder and they both sat there like that for a few minutes.

Aemond finally started getting what happened. Why his lady wife has requested the moon tea and why she was crying now. He only needed a name. A name of the bastard that laid his hands upon her, who forced himself upon her.

''Who?'' only came out of his lips. His voice was demanding although gentle at the same time. ''Lord Lannister,'' she said in between sobs, clutching on him even more, scared that he would leave her. That he was disgusted by her.

Aemond's lilac eye darkened. How did the filthy Lannister dare to touch his wife while he was away? He would pay for it, and Aemond would make sure that Lord Lannister would regret every second of the terror he did to his wife.

He got pulled out of his thoughts when she said something he never thought he would hear. The sentence 'Are you disgusted with me?' ringing in his ears.

He pulled a little away to look into her eyes. ''What? No of course not, my dear wife.'' He caressed her head slowly while she looked at him with glossy eyes. He could see how much pain she had endured. ''Why would you think that, little dragon?'' he was a little sad that her head would even come up with it.

''Because of...'' she looked away. ''Of what he did. What if it was my fault? What if I-'' Aemond cut her off with a gentle 'shh' ''Do not say those words again. It was not your fault, never think that. That pig of a Lannister cannot keep his hands to himself, and he will pay.''

He kissed her forehead. ''There is nothing that could make you disgusting to me.'' she smiled at that, clearly relieved. He caressed her cheek with his thumb. ''I love you, little dragon.'' he pulled her into his chest and kept caressing her hair. ''I love you too,'' she replied.

Those words made Aemond's body fill with warmth. He loved her so much, too much. He would kill for her, burn the world for her only to make sure that she was happy and safe. He loved her to such depths that he would betray his family if she asked him to. He hated it, but he knew that his life without her would not make sense.

When she fell asleep at night after many comfort hours with Aemond he went to finally take his revenge for his wife. He wanted to do it earlier, the second he found out but he couldn't leave his little dragon alone, not in that state.

He was furious when he found out that Lord Lannister left the King's Landing, and returned to Casterly Rock due to 'important issues'. He tried to run away. Coward. Aemond thought.

This wasn't going to stop him. He would get his revenge even if it meant he had to go to Casterly Rock.

He rode Vhagar. Oh, how he wished to see Lannister's face when he saw Aemond's dragon. Aemond didn't waste any time finding a place to land. He landed on the castle grounds, not caring about some towers falling because of Vhagar's wings. Why would he anyway?

He heard people screaming, some panicking. Aemond didn't care. He headed inside the castle. A young maid helped him find Lord Lannister's chambers. Such a sweet servant girl, she didn't know that she was helping the murderer to kill her Lord.

When Aemond barged into the chambers he saw Lord Lannister packing things in fear. ''You won't need them,'' Aemond told him. His tone was so horrifying that many courageous guards would run away in fear.

''What do you want?'' Lord Lannister said, his eyes filled with fear. ''What do I want?'' Aemond repeated slowly. He twirled with his dagger between his fingers. ''Don't you know that you shouldn't touch things that are not yours?'' he asked. His whole demeanor was calm which was surprising to Lord Lannister.

He didn't reply, instead, he tried to grab a sword nearby. Before he could even reach him he screamed in pain. Aemond's dagger was in his hand. ''Was that hand first?'' Aemond asked with a coy smirk. ''Doesn't matter you're going to lose both.''

Aemond ripped the dagger out of his hand and cut it off in a swift motion. Blood flowed out on the marble floor. Lord Lannister screamed in pain, he tried to clutch the hand to stop the bleeding but Aemond wouldn't let him. He loved his pained screams so much. ''You're a little cunt, aren't you? Taking advantage of my lady wife when I'm not there. You really thought I wouldn't find out?'' Aemond snickered.

''I told that bitch to not tell anyone,'' Lannister said. Aemond got furious when he heard Lannister call his little dragon a 'bitch'. Without waiting for anything he cut off his other hand.

''This is going to start a war between us, boy!'' Lannister gritted out. He was angry, and Aemond smirked. ''So be it,'' with that word, Aemond slit Lord Lannister's throat.

[keen-li]

What you need | 03

Synopsis: everybody needs, but how do you define need? Do you even know what you need.

Genre: best friends au, angst, fluff, smut, slow burn.

Jungkook x femreader.

wc: 4.9k

Prev | next

-

Jungkook completed the end of his deal, now it’s your turn.

Your shoulders and eyebrows rise in unison as you walk into the moderately lit large space. Your eyes glance over all the arranged equipment and you can’t help but frown at yourself.

Your jean, turtle neck and black blazer outfit contradict the environment you’re in. You look so out of place that it warrants some unwanted eyes, but it could also be to the fact that you look lost.

The place is so intimidating, you feel like a little doe in a room full of lions. You wonder why they are so many men in here. You swear it was an all-gender gym.

You’ve seen this gym before but because you’ve never stepped foot into it, you barely know the layout or the rules.

The girl at the reception looked at you weird when she saw your outfit.

‘’do you have a membership?’’ she asks unamused, for whatever reason.

‘’no, I’m actually here to see a friend’’ you don’t care for a membership, with the way you walk around at work that’s enough working out for you.

‘’well that’s not how it works you need a membership to enter’’ she says matter-of-factly. You can’t help but notice how bitchy she sounds.

‘’i-well I’m not here to workout’’  i don’t know if you could tell.

She just stares at you and you stare back.

You can’t help but sigh and roll your eyes.

All this trouble just to be where you don’t want to be.

You guess that’s how jungkook felt when you had to style him and his hair for his date. But he did it anyways, and so do you. you don’t know how you’re gonna pass those doors though.

You could bolt through when someone who has a membership walks in, jungkook would laugh at that story. But you don’t want any bad blood or embarrass yourself with getting kicked out.

So you do the only thing you can do.

Call jungkook and cancel.

‘’i can’t kook because i don’t have a membership ‘’ you whine turning to squint at the girl at the reception. She looks like the type that’s bitchy cause she’s worked here for so long.

The corner of your upper lip twitches.

‘’i told her she should let you in when you come’’ he sounds so breathy ‘’did you tell her you’re here to see me’’

‘’nope but i told her I’m here to see a friend’’ you hear him chuckle. You can’t help but feel like he’s mocking you.

‘’tell her your name and that your here to see jungkook’’ his laugh dies down.

You scoff and roll your eyes. This is too much work.

‘’and how am i guaranteed that she’ll let me in?’’ you question with a little sass in your tone which jungkook catches. He always does.

‘’she will, trust me’’

jungkook knows you can be awkward, nervous and anxious in new situations. And since he knew you couldn’t walk in without a membership, he called in a favour from his good friend Liz. The woman you’re currently having a one-sided feud with.

You hum before the call is cut. And with your tail in between your legs you walk to the reception.

She stares at you ready for your words.

‘’i’m here for jungkook’’ you almost murmur almost too low for ears to catch

‘’your name?’’ you groan, how hard can she makes this for you. Being here dressed like a billionaire single mom here to see her son is embarrassing enough.

‘’y/n’’ you say tucking in your lips.

‘’okay you can go in’’

You release the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

So it was that easy, you slap yourself mentally. You give her one last look, as if apologising for overreacting.

Your heeled boots clink against the clean white floors. You’re glad the gym noises and music drown out your heels and banging hearts.

You look around for where jungkook texted you he’d be.

At the end with the dark windows.

Wooow. If only he knew how many ends had dark windows. You curse as you continue walking. You jump over rolling dumbbells and duck people doing pullups. Is this what being at the gym is:

Playing Mario kart.

You gasp when a figure bumps into you.

‘’im sorry i didn’t see you there’’ he turns.

And you couldn’t believe your eyes.

‘’hoseok? What the fuck are you doing here?’’ you once over him in his gym outfit. You never had seeing hoseok in the gym or sweaty on your bingo card.

‘’working out,duh’’ he gives you a look ‘’ i should be asking you the same, but looking at your outfit i don’t think you’re here to workout’’ his eyes glance you over, he saw you wearing this outfit at work today and he doesn’t know if he’s ever going to tell you how much this outfit doesn’t look so bad on you.

You can’t help but feel small under his intense gaze.

‘’i’m not. Just here to see a friend’’

He nods, not really caring. ‘’enjoy your workout’’ you say as he turns away.

You roll your eyes at how he just hums.

You never thought of hoseok as the gym type but you guess he didn’t get that figure for free. Maybe you should get to the gym too, hoseok was pretty much telling you that with his eyes anyways.

Now back to finding jungkook.

“yn’’ you were walking around aimlessly when a familiar voice calls out your name.

Oh that’s the end he was talking about. Honestly it looks the same with the others, except for the large punching bag hanging for the ceiling.

Your eyes are met with a smiling jungkook as you giddily walk over to him, you have to physically stop yourself from skipping.

Seeing jungkook is always comforting and peaceful.

His curly hair falls loosely on his face. It still shocks you how fast his hair grows.

His black t-shirt falls baggy over the his fern green cargo pants, you remember gifting him those when you were starting off your friendship. You didn’t know what to get him for his birthday cause you didn’t know him that well. So you just got him those pants with a hoodie. He was very appreciative. You would say you’re a better gift giver now, cause you know what he likes.

You walk over to him and his eyes don’t leave you as you approach.

You’re about to open your mouth to greet him and scold him for bad direction, but you’re shushed when his hands wrap around you and lift you off the ground. You use his shoulder for balance. The action takes you by surprise cause jungkook’s has never carried you like that, but you’ve never visited him at the gym as well.

As he sets you down you realise how nice it feels to be carried. His  hands don’t leave your waist as you look up at him.

‘’i like your outfit, but i thought you’d dress more...’’ his eyes look around and you understand what he means.

‘’i came here immediately after work kook, so i didn’t get to change’’ you stare down at your outfit with a pout. he licks his lips as he nods accepting your reason.

The close proximity causes you to see jungkook in another angle, a very good one at that. Your nose takes in his scent, even though you can smell the sweat it doesn’t bother you cause it somehow mixes with his cologne and forms a scent so masculine you wanna drown in it.

‘’plus i came here to watch you workout’’ you push him away at the chest and jungkook moves away, not offended at all. ‘’not me’’

As he moves away he realizes how carried away he got with the feeling of you being close. Having you look up at him like you just did makes his heart rate faster than exercise.

‘’i hear you chicken’’ he grins and you raise a brow at his new nickname for you.

He tries to play of the feeling of being enamoured by your scent.

‘’chicken?’’

‘’yeah chicken’’

‘’and why is that?’’ you fold your arms over your chest.

‘’because you failed to get past Liv’’

The receptionist? You roll your eyes. He can’t tease you for this cause he knows you get anxious and your brain stops working.

‘’you can’t bla-‘’

‘’chicken’’ he sing-songs swinging his head side to side as he puts his boxing gloves on.

You roll your eyes, he’s not going to stop teasing you with that.

‘’so am i a chicken or bunny’’ you take a seat on the bench next to his things, you know cause you recognize the scent.

‘’i think....’’ he pretends to think as he walk over and towers over you.

And in a low voice and flicking your chin he says ‘’...you’re mine’’

You’re taken aback by his words and it causes a tingle in your stomach. Yoiu brush off the feeling as a normal human reaction to being taken aback.

‘’i’m just joking, look at your face’’ he lets out a chuckle and so do you, but yours is more awkward.

‘’i think you’re more a bunny’’ he walks back ‘’that’s why i call you bunny’’

You just stay silent with your words not knowing what to say, you don’t think, or want to think any of it cause that’s how jungkook jokes. But it’s been a while since you’ve heard him joke like that, maybe it’s cause you were in a relationship with yunho. But now you’re not so he brings back his teasing.

That’s how he is, you can’t think more of it.

‘’oh i forgot to introduce you to yoongi’’ he says calling you from the abyss of you mind.

‘’ yn this is yoongi my boxing partner’’ he turns to you. ‘’and yoongi this is my good friend yn’’

You wave at yoongi and give him a warm smile, he simply raise his hand and mumbles out a hi.

With the way he doesn’t smile at you, you think he’s probably not fond of watchers or maybe it’s just you.

‘’you missed the warmup, but you can watch the first round’’ he informs. You hum still not used to the environment. your heart begins to quicken but you try to ignore it as you see them getting ready to start.

‘’you’re not going to wear head gear or something’’ they both laugh out and make you sound like a noob.

‘’it’s okay to take a hit or two raw sometimes, princess’’ new nickname unlocked.

You don’t know if the jk in the gym is the same one you know. He seems more cocky and ... flirty, nothing you can’t handle. Just not used to it.

You sit back and shut your mouth. You don’t want to say something and not seem like you know what you’re talking about.

‘’i’m not going to take it easy on you just cause your girl’s here ‘’ yoongi fixes his glove.

‘’i don’t need you to take it easy on me.‘’ jungkook husks out, eyes lowered and fists prepared.

Your scent grazes jungkook’s senses in that moment and he loves how, in addition to your perfume, you’ve been smelling like lavender lately.

The lavender scent is like a fuel for him.

Yoongi throws a punch and jungkook is almost met with it before he dodges it.

He grins as he licks his teeth. That would’ve been a bad way to start.

He’s tryna get you to like boxing, he can’t if he’s losing.

You’re sat shit scared in your seat as you watch jungkook almost get hit. You can’t handle this, and you just started.

Jungkook throws a punch but yoongi blocks.

Grunts, curses and smacks echo in the room as jungkook and yoongi go at it. No one’s taken a hit yet but that only makes your anxiety rise. Why does he have to have you here.

A form of motivation.

 A reminder of his strength.

That’s why jungkook boxes.

 He’s loved it ever since he was a child. He’s father had him in a class for a month before his mother said it was dangerous. If only his mother was willing to watch him box like you.

But you aren’t willing, you’re just on obligation.

‘’that was a light round’’ you hear him say out of breathe. The way he breathes and the way sweat drips down his face as he does so has your heart beating carelessly, and it shouldn’t.

You cross your legs as you watch him wipe his sweat off with his shirt.

‘’YN’’ he calls your name out aggressively.

‘’huh?’’ you come back from where you went.

‘’i said are you good, do you want water’’

You shake your head at the water.

‘’im fine.’’ You’re not. The room feels hot even though it’s an open space with air conditioning.

You wonder how much jungkook pays for that membership.

‘’good. Now time for round 3’’

Your eyes bulge out at his words.

‘’round 3?’’

Jungkook turns to you with knitted brows and laughs at then shock on your face. From your body language and eyes he can see how tired you look. You’ve been at work and it’s not fair for him to keep you here for over 45 minutes, when his date didn’t even last a quarter of that.

‘’i promise this is the last round then we can go home, okay?’’

You nod and lean back taking in the fact that you have to stay here longer. It’s getting late out and you wonder why the gym isn’t closing but then it clicks that it’s a 24hr gym.

If jungkook wanted he would stay here the whole night. Gym bros.

You stare at your gym bro analysing, there’s something different about jungkook. You wouldn’t place him as a gym bro, maybe because you know him outside the gym and he’s your friend.

But its nice and warms your heart to watch him do what he loves.

In the past two rounds not much has happened except for the hits yoongi had to take from jungkook. You found yourself unintentionally cheering, you wonder why it didn’t bother you seeing jungkook hit someone but the thought of.......

Bang.

That’s all you hear until your gasping, the blood drains from your face.

Yoongi just hit jungkook. Your mind is racing like a soccer mom until you see jungkook recover, still doesn’t help the ache in your heart.

You know it’s just a friendly game, but yoongi is really making a bad impression for himself.

The way yoongi throws another punch has you cringing in your seat.

This is torture.

For jungkook this is motivation, he blocks the third punch that comes his way.

No way he’s gonna let yoongi smack him a third time. Fuck no.

With determination filling him, he throws rapid smacks and punches. He continues until all yoongi can do is block.

‘’time out, time out, time out’’ yoongi calls out and jungkook ceases his throws. He smirks knowing he’s won.

‘’that wasn’t a win jeon’’

‘’it sure was’’ he chuckles out. ‘’what do you think bunny, did i win?’’

He turns to an exhausted looking you.

You have no opinions let alone knowledge on these things.

‘’what i think...’’ you make a dramatic pause ‘’ is that it’s time to go home’’

Jungkook scoffs as he rolls his eyes at you.

‘’fine’’ he starts taking off his gloves and bandages and nobody as ever looked hotter doing something mundane ‘’since you’re tired we’ll end it here’’

‘’how caring of you’’ you murmur.

He grabs his bag and you stand finally glad that this is over.

‘’it was nice beating you yoongi, see you later’’

Yoongi scoffs at him.

‘’it was nice meeting you yn, even though we didn’t talk much’’ he says instead.

You chuckle un-enthuastically. ‘’it was nice meeting you too, maybe we can talk when you’re not punching each other’’

You both awkwardly laugh at that.

You and jungkook walk out the gym doors as fast as light, mainly cause you’re pushing him out the door.

You walk a little slower to his car in the parking lot.

‘’you wanna drive?’’ he stretches his keys out to you but you shake your head so fast as you run to the passenger’s seat.

‘’chicken’’ he says as he opens the doors.

You’re sat and the warm air from the air conditioner pushes out the cold Seoul night air.

‘’did you enjoy?’’ his bellow voice speaks as he drives: one hand on the steering and the other on his thigh.

You turn your body to him, head still resting on the car seat and body relaxed. And as you stare at him your eyes almost closing you can’t help but think whether he looks hotter driving or boxing with yoongi.

‘’i enjoyed watching you do what you love’’

Watching him box, even though it was torture, was heart-warming. Cause even though you’ve been friends for long, there’s still somethings that you need to know and understand about each other.

‘’do you wanna watch me do it agai-‘’ he smiles but your abrupt voice interrupts him.

‘’nope.’’ You shake your head ‘’i never want to do that again’’ your head leave it’s comfortable position.

He chuckles and licks his lip. Your brows knit when you hear him hiss at the cut on the corner of his lip.

‘’you okay?’’

Jungkook’s confused at your question and when his turns to stare at you he’s met with your thumb on his wound.

‘’does it hurt?’’ you ask worried. Jungkook tries to keep his eyes on the road but his head turned to you.

‘’just stings’’ he speaks your thumb caressing his lip.

You don’t realiz but jungkook does, the way you caress his lip and stare at it makes the air tense.

‘’i’m okay yn’’ he wraps his hand around your wrist, and it’s nothing more than a warm and gentle touch ‘’but, you’re gonna make me crash’’

You were so focused on him that you didn’t realize he was driving. You feel stupid you don’t even know why you got carried away.

‘’oh, sorry’’ you abruptly move your hand away. Jungkook’s hand leaves yours almost like he didn’t want you to stop. But he lets it drop anyways, now he has both hands on the steering.

You fold your arms and let the silence sink in.

‘’who was that guy you were talking to’’ you give him a confused hum. ‘’in the gym’’

‘’uh, hoseok?’’

‘’hoseok? Isn’t that the collegue you say is a pain in your ass’’

‘’yep, but i think im a pain in his too’’ you chuckle ‘’were even’’

Jungkook shrugs.

‘’i was actually surprised to see him in the gym’’ jungkook watches you ponder on something ‘’but i guess he didn’t get that body from bossing me around’’

Jungkook looks at that lost look on your face.

‘’looks like someone has a crush’’ jungkook melodies out.

‘’heck no’’ you puff out ‘’ the last person i’d have a crush on is hoseok. He’s attractive of course but a crush is going too far’’ you argue.

‘’you think he’s attractive?’’ his voice lowers.

‘’yeah i do’’ you spit out reluctantly and watch the look on Jungkook’s face.

‘’what?’’

‘’you have a crush on him, yn’’

You scoff. ‘’i don’t have a crush on him’’ you argue. ‘’if i had a crush on everyone i found attractive, i’d have a crush on you’’ you spit out without thinking, you kinda regret saying that.

‘’i dont know if i should be offended or honored’’ jungkook chuckles.

You want to add on but his words cut you off.

‘’we’re here’’

You turn out the window and see the familiar building you haven’t seen in a while.

‘’kook, you were supposed to take me home’’ you whine.

‘’it’s the weekend, stay at mine. It’s been a while since you’ve visited me.’’ It’s almost like he’s begging you and it cause you a little smugness.

You ponder not needing much motivation anyways. ‘’okay’’

Jungkook’s surprised that you’ve accepted so easily but little does he know that you’ve been wanting an excuse to leave your house, too many pieces of yunho left around. Plus, you’ve missed you and jungkook’s little sleepovers.

‘’but i’m getting the bed’’ you declare.

‘’you’re gonna have to fight me on that one princess’’

You loved jungkook’s bed, there was something so soft and comforting about it. Maybe it’s the fluffy beddings and the fact that it smells like him.

-

When jungkook turns the lights on you realize how long it’s been and how you’ve missed the warm and homey feel of his home. Maybe it’s just because you’re finally in a place that has nothing to do with yunho.

The warm feeling in your heart extends to your skin.

Contrary to you’d thought before you met him, Jungkook’s house has a feminine and floral scent to it. Which creates a soft ambience (with the help from the light colours of his walls.)

he slumps himself on his couch, manspreading everywhere.

You place your purse on his minimalistic, white modern kitchen table.

You grunt as you slump down next to him, bodies only centimetres away from each other.

His body immediately turns to you as you sit.

‘’your house hasn’t changed one bit’’ you say and he looks around.

‘’yeah, i’m not that creative. It needs a woman’s touch’’ turns to you and you shift in your seat.

‘’you still have the plants I gifted you’’ you turn to the short three leafed one by the hallway the small one on his coffee table and the large ceiling touching one at the corner of the couch (which was a pain in the ass toe move in, for jungkook and jimin)

‘’they look healthy’’

 jungkook looks at you as you admire how attentive he’s been to your gift.

‘’yeah, i’m a great plant dad’’

You both smile.

And for a few minutes there’s a comfortable silence as you stare at each other. Nothing but smiles around, it’s almost awkward for some reason.

‘’are you sure your lip only stings’’ you go back to being worried about how it’s starting to bruise.

‘’i actually forgot it was there’’ he says softly as his fingers caress it and you watch every move he makes.

You watch him look at his fingers checking for any blood. There’s none and it cause a smile on his face, yours too.

You awkwardly and quickly move your eyes away when he lifts his eyes to look at you.

‘’you should put some petroleum jelly on it’’ you lecture out as you clear your throat.

Jungkook smiles.

‘’will do after i take a shower’’ he stands and your eyes follow him.

‘’do you wanna like..’’ he points between the both of you.

‘’ew, fuck not jungkook’’ you choke out.

‘’come on, we’ve done it before’’ he defends arms open.

‘’that was at the public beach shower and jimin and willoe were there too’’

‘’that doesn’t change anything’’ he grins sarcastically.

You roll your eyes.

You and jungkook are comfortable with eachother but you don’t think it’s that far that you can shower together. Naked.

You wouldn’t be able to do that, feels like crossing a line.

‘’go take a shower i’ll wait’’ you shoo him away.

Jungkook doesn’t argue and watches you pull out your phone.

He was only joking about the shower thing anyways, he hopes he doesn’t make you uncomfortable

But your legs on his couch make you look more than comfortable.

It makes him happy to watch you relax especially with what happened with your boyfriend, well ex now. That’s why he’s been trying to get you out and forget about it.

‘’pick a movie’’ he tells you before he leaves.

-

‘’i can’t believe how tight these shorts have become’’ you walk into the living room with the shorts you left at his house 6 months ago and one of his grey t-shirts.

Jungkook watches the subject of your concern. He doesn’t mean to but he’s got eyes. He watches the shorts you wore 6 months ago at your sleepovers and he can’t help but notice how they wrap tightly around your thighs, accentuating your curves.

‘’they don’t look bad right?’’ you frown.

And all jungkook can find to do is shake his head.

‘’as long as you’re comfortable’’ he can’t seem to move his eyes away from you.

‘’shockingly they’re still comfortable’’

You take a seat close to him and your shirt (well his) rolls over your thighs lightly.

‘’what snacks did you get’’ you lean over to the coffee table and Jungkook’s  eyes move with your body.

He can’t help but think of how a loser yunho is for letting you go. But you’ll find someone better than him. Someone who cares about you and will  take care of you like you deserve.

Jungkook coughs out causing your brows to frown.

He honestly doesn’t know why he’s behaving like this. It’s just you he shouldn’t be acting this way.

The air seems a little bit different ever since you and yunho broke up. As much as you’re still the same girl he’s known these years, same one who denies herself of good things and thinks any of these guys are good for her-ugh it pisses him off for whatever reason-

Whatever.

As much as you’re still the same girl, you just seem different nowadays and he doesn’t like it. Makes an uncomfortable feeling brew in his chest.

‘’you good?’’ you raise a brow at him.

‘’huh?’’ he sounds so dumb right now.

‘’you’re staring at me all weird’’ you give him an awkward smile and stuff your face with some snacks.

‘’yeah i was hoping you feel my glare for making me go on that date’’ he turns to the movie and grabs a can of beer.

A little beer sprits onto your thigh as he opens it. He quickly reaches out to wipe it and mumbles an apology.

Little goosebumps form on your skin at the touch and you shift in your seat.

‘’i was meaning to ask, how did it go?” you try to keep a relaxed tone.

‘’boring’’

You scoff.

‘’how was it boring? I picked the best’’ you lean your elbow against the couch to get a better look at him.

‘’you did, but she wasn’t my type’’

‘’has your type changed cause, last time i checked she’s definitely your type’’ you narrow your eyes at him.

You watch a smile grow on his face and one does on yours too.

‘’see? She is your type’’ you slap his shoulder and laugh.

‘’you’re right she is’’ he chuckles playing with his lip ring.

‘’then what happened?’’ you bug at him.

‘’i don’t know, i guess my priorities aren’t on dating right now’’

You groan at his words.

‘’then what are your priorities on?’’ you lower your voice in a mocking tone.

You watch him down his beer, place it on the table and turn to you with lowered eyes.

‘’you’’ he simply says but the one word stops your thinking and your tongue to stop.

‘’i’ve been worried about you’’

‘’and you don’t have to’’ your legs meet the carpet.

‘’you say that, but you’ve been off ever since...’’

At the thought of it your heart drops and your face does to.

‘’i don’t want to talk about it’’ you frown.

‘’that’s the problem, you’re avoiding it an waiting for the next douchebag to come and break your heart and give you a new reason to be depressed.’’ Jungkook says getting carried away in his passion to express his thoughts.

‘’what the fuck do you mean by that?’’ your reaction causes him to rethink his approach.

‘’yn-‘’

‘’-no. What are you tyring to say, that i jump from guy to guy’’ you raise a brow at him and his blood pressure raise. He knows his answer but he doesn’t think he should answer especially seeing your reaction.

‘’listen...’’

Jungkook doesn’t even get another word in when you’re standing.

‘’maybe i should just go to sleep’’ you say sounding down and jungkook couldn’t feel any sicker.

‘’yn please’’

���’good night kook, see you in the morning’’

Jungkook sighs as he watches you disappears.

That’s not how he was wanting it to go.

He leans back into the couch. Well you did end up getting the bed after-all.

As you lay down you think about whether you’re actually upset. You know he’s kinda right, he’s delivery was awful though.

But you can’t deny.

That’s why you decided to leave the dating scene, nothing ever comes out of it but heart break.

You thought yunho would be your refuge, your final home. But instead he was your destruction and his reason for it was absolutely pathetic.

You feel a tear roll down your cheek but you immediately hide it when you hear jungkook walk in.

‘’sorry, just wanted a pillow’’

You just hum.

He grabs his pillow and you feel his figure linger for a little longer as if debating on wanting to say something.

But you assume he decides against saying anything and just walks out.

Immediately he leaves you feel the tears roll down like rain.

Jungkook can hear your sniffles from the living room and god he wishes you never met yunho.

-

an:wellllll

[dira333]

Date Nights - Aizawa Shouta

From the Date Night Series - Tagging @alienaiver

Edit: You need to have this visual while reading

1.

“Are you ready to go?”

Shouta looks up from his desk. He’d been so close to resting his head on it, to giving his tired eyes some much-needed rest. 

Your smile is warm and inviting. And it makes something tingle in the back of his brain, something he’d been trying to remember all week.

“Oh no,” he groans softly, “I forgot our date.”

Your smile doesn’t falter.

“I heard about your day from Hizashi,” your voice does not carry any resentment yet his heart is thundering in his chest. 

God, he’d been so anxious about it, had been pondering where to go and what to do for hours, how could he forget?

“Let me just get a coffee real quick and we’ll be good to go,” Shouta insists. He’ll also need at least five minutes in a bathroom and a spare change of clothes. He knows he looks more like a homeless person than anything else right now and he probably smells like it too.

“No need,” you wave him off. His heart stutters to a halt. 

Please don’t cancel, Shouta thinks, just as you reach out and take his hand. Your fingers are warm against his own cold ones, bad circulation be damned.

“I asked you out, so of course I planned the date. Come on, we don’t want to miss anything.”

“But coffee-” He manages, his heart pitter-pattering away as he follows you down the hallways of the school.

They are deserted, thankfully. As much as he loves the feel of your hand in his, he couldn’t bear it if anyone saw. 

Your car is a lime-green monstrosity. You smile sheepishly when he stares at it.

“I like bright colors,” you shrug, “And I’ve never lost my car in a car park since I’ve bought it.”

He can’t argue against that. The seats are soft and he can feel himself slipping, almost falling asleep against the window. When he jerks away, adamant to at least look awake if he’s not looking like much else, he finds your hand resting on his knee. His mouth runs dry. Can he? Is he supposed to? 

He puts his hand on yours and you turn to smile at him before looking back at the road. 

It’s a quiet ride. Somewhere in the organized chaos of his brain, he jots down that you don’t listen to music while you drive. It’s a welcome change from sharing rides with Hizashi.

“We’re here.” You park in front of an apartment complex. “Come on up.”

Your keys jingle in your hand as you walk in front of him, up the stairs and down a hallway. You open the door that has your name on it.

His heart thunders traitorously. Did you bring him to your place for your first date? Why?

His mouth won’t let him form words, so he follows you silently, his mind racing ahead. 

It’s only when he’s slipped out of his shoes and pulled on the bunny slippers you’ve placed for him, that he makes sene of what’s going on. 

In the middle of your living room is a fort of pillows and blankets, big enough to house All Might in his muscle form if he wanted to.

Shouta stops and stares. You do flourish your arms. “Tada! Do you want something to drink first? I thought it was a good idea because you honestly always look like you don’t get enough rest and it’s important to take care of each other’s needs in a relationship and I asked you out so-” 

It’s the first time he’s heard you rambling today and the familiar sound soothes his nerves a little. At least you’re nervous too.

He steps forward, boldened by your own actions, and kisses you.

You sink into it right away, arms thrown around him to pull him even closer.

When you pull back first, he can’t help but chase after you, to sink further into your embrace as you giggle with your face pressed against his neck.

“I’ll make you something to drink, okay?” You whisper, face still hidden away. “Make yourself comfortable.”

He wakes up hours later, throat perched, head in your lap.

You’re reading something on a tablet, one hand free to drag itself through his hair in a motion that could put him back to sleep again.

“So, about a second date…” You ask when you stop at his place in the morning so that he can get a fresh set of clothes before work. You’re not looking at him but your hands are squeezing the steering wheel, telling him how nervous you are.

He leans over and kisses you, pouring all his feelings into the gesture.

“There’s a bookstore in my neighborhood,” he offers, “We could go there after school. Today shouldn’t be as draining and even if, I want to go with you.”

Your smile could light up the world. It certainly lights up his.

-

2.

“Ready to go?” Shouta’s patting himself down as he asks. He’s got his keyes, his pain medication, his phone is fully charged and his wallet’s there too.

You’re still on the Couch, petting Muffin. The old tabby is purring so loud he can hear it from the entryway. 

“For what?” You ask, a little distracted by Muffin trying to chew on your fingertips.

“We’ve got a Date, honey. Why did you think Deku picked up Eri?”

“Because he wants to spend time with her?” You pull Muffin from your lap and deposit her on a pillow, kissing her head when she mews.

You yawn as you walk over, don’t cover your mouth in favor of brushing the pet hair from your legs.

“What kind of date?” You ask as you pull close and kiss him, snuggle into his embrace.

“There’s this new Bookshop a few blocks down. I walked past it a few times when I went to the park with Eri and it looked promising.”

“Really?” You furrow your brows. “How do I not know about it? I’ve never seen one when I go to the park with her.”

“That’s because we take a different route. More cats, less foot traffic.” He kisses your cheek and pushes you toward the bedroom. 

“Five minutes, you need a different sweater. I won’t go out with you looking like this.”

You stick your tongue out at him, but comply. 

When you come back, he can’t help the laugh bubbling in his throat. You’re wearing a Ganriki Neko sweater in purple and turquoise over a purple skirt and turquoise tights, an outfit he’s seen last at one of Hizashi’s costume parties.

“How do I look?” You ask, batting your eyelashes at him.

“Like I need sunglasses to take you in,” He jokes.

The walk to the bookstore is short and quiet. You’ve been distracted lately, 

Maybe it’s the new Class you’ve got or Eri’s recurring nightmares, but he’d been planning a date like this for a while now. Taking a break just hasn’t gotten easier now that they’re parents.

“Pspsps,” He leans down to feed a snack to the little black kitten that Eri has fallen in love with. It’s well groomed and clearly belongs to someone, but it loves coming over to say hi.

-

“I’ll get us some drinks,” Shouta declares the moment you step into the store. It’s lovely, not entirely rebuilt, but rather renovated, giving the old, darkened wood some new life. 

You nod and wander around, peeking at the shelves in search of something that tickles your interest. He finds you in the non-fiction aisle not much later, deeply invested in a cookbook.

“This has everything,” you explain. “How to eat during your pregnancy or if you want to increase the chances as well as how to feed children of different ages.”

“Okay? How are the recipes though? We’ve got plenty of cookbooks at home we don’t use.”

“True,” you grumble. It’s your least favorite thing about him, how he tends to stop you from impulse buying. He offers you your drink before you can dwell on that any longer.

“For you, sugar with a side of coffee.”

“Har Har.” You mock laugh before taking a sip of the concoction, furrowing your brows a little. “It tastes a little off,” you claim. “Did you ask for something from the menu?”

“No, I gave them your special recipe. Sorry, do you want something different?”

“No, it’s fine. They probably made it for the first time this way.” You take another sip and your brows relax. “I’m just a little weird today.”

“I’m a little weird everyday,” he offers and you lean into him, heavy, warm and familiar.

“Let’s take a look around, shall we?” He grabs your free hand with his, swings them around as he pulls you forward. There’s plenty to see and soon enough, his arms grow loaded with books. The newest edition of the manga Hitoshi reads, a signed biography of a Hero Hizashi’s still very enthusiastic about, bookmarks and a little Neko Nightlight for Eri, the list goes on.

“I need to sit down for a bit,” Shouta exclaims when you turn back towards the non-fiction again. “You can find me at the children’s books.”

“Okay.” You get on your tiptoes and kiss his stubble. “I won’t take long.”

-

Shouta’s halfway through a book about a little mole looking for a home when you come back. He’s accustomed to the sound of your footsteps, even if they come a little more hesitant, like now.

You’ve got one book in your arms, the title hidden as it’s pressed against your stomach. 

There’s a shy smile on your face as you turn it around to show him the cover.

“How to be Pregnant for Dummies.”

He reads it and reads it again. The news take a moment to seep into his brain but when it does, he almost takes down the book display with how fast he jumps from his seat.

“No way!” 

“SHHH!” Someone shushes him from the front. Shouta doesn’t care.

You’re smiling, eyes a little teary.

“Since when do you know?”

“I got the results today, but I missed my period so I’ve had a hunch for a week or so. It’s still pretty early.” You giggle when he peppers kisses all over your face, making it almost impossible for you to keep talking.

“Sorry, I was a little bit in my head the last few days.”

“It’s okay. It’s big news.”

“Hm. How do we tell Eri? And Hitoshi? And-”

Shouta turns around and pulls a book from the pile he wants to buy.

“Little Neko got a sibling?” You ask, a little dumbfounded. “How did you know?”

His smile is a little sheepish. He can never lie to you.

“I didn’t. But the Neko was cute.”

You laugh at that, pull him closer. It reminds him of their first second date. 

Of cuddling in a corner at the bookstore, away from prying eyes.

Some things will never change, even with a metal leg and a new life on the way.

-

“Where do you wanna go next?” He asks when the books are paid for, hanging off his right arm as you lean onto his left.

You blink up at him, eyes still a little red-rimmed from all the happy tears.

“When’s Eri coming home?”

“Two hours, maybe. Do you wanna go home and cuddle?”

You ponder that for a second, your hands warm on his. 

“Let’s get ice cream,” you decide, a wide smile on your face. “And when we get back, we can make a fort!”

Shouta pulls you close, presses a kiss onto the top of your head.

“I love you.”

“Mhm,” You grin up at him. “I love you more.”

My Kofi if you want to tip me