#if it comes to that i know deep down i'll never forgive myself

[willinglyghoulified]

Just a reminder. If you're a friend to someone who's chronically depressed and has tried to kill themselves before and they're "not better" months or even a year after they've tried to kill themselves, don't give up on them. Sometimes they can't help the way they feel. They still fight a battle in their head that you don't understand. If they want to talk about how they feel, don't meet them with sighs or rolling your eyes or dismissing their feelings like "maybe you'll feel better if you just stop talking about it" NO, don't DO that. Just be a listening ear. Tell them you're there for them even if there's not much you can do to help. Support them.

And remember that if they do wind up killing themselves anyway, it was going to happen with or without your help OR your consent. There was nothing you could do to change that. It's not your fault. They were going to do it with or without your help. You have no control over people.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that loving someone with chronic depression can be draining and hard and disheartening, but they need you. It's worth it if you can change their mind, make them feel loved. But if you can't, make sure that the time they still have on this earth are filled with love and friendship and support. That's all any of us can ask for.

[thebibliosphere]

I think sometimes it's hard to see my progress with my health because it so often feels like I take one step forward and then a hop, skip, and a jump back in some regards.

I'll improve one thing, and something else will pop up like a constant game of whack-a-mole with Symptoms. It's hard not to feel defeated, even though I know logically that progress is progress, but sometimes, progress doesn't feel much like progress and more like dragging yourself around by the scruff of the neck. It's tiring, in a 'slowly eats away at your soul and makes you increasingly mentally unwell' sort of way.

And then I'll see someone like Magic Dentist Man, who I haven't seen for a while, and the clarity of how far I've come hits me like a ton of bricks.

I've been through a lot since he first started treating me. I almost died, for one thing. He was there for the worst of it. Watched me slowly fade away to nothing until it was almost too late. But he hasn't seen much of me during my recovery. His daughter has primarily taken over my care -- the only person, he jokes, who he trusts with my 'complexities.' When he found the infection on the lower right side of my jaw during my checkup last week, however, he declared then and there he'd be the one to treat it.

"You've been hurt too much already, kiddo," was all he said, like if it was up to him, like if I was his kid, he'd beat the shit out of everyone who came before him. Like the fact that I was so badly brutalized by the medical system that I taught myself to breathe through the pain of root canals without anesthesia was a travesty he'll never forgive.

He's like that, Magic Dentist Man. He sees someone in pain and says, "Not today, not at my hands."

If he asked me to help hide a body, I'd ask how far away and how deep he wanted the hole.

Anyway. He's seen me through some of the worst moments of my life, and today, while he was holding the curing wand over my carefully reconstructed teeth, I caught him smiling upside down at me behind his mask.

"What?" I asked, though it came out more like, 'Hwhut?'

"Nothing," he said, still smiling. "I was just thinking you look alive."

And maybe now, a few hours after the painkillers are out of my system, maybe, yeah. Maybe that's hitting a little harder than I expected. Because he knows, y'see? He knows how far I've come. Even if I sometimes forget.

[emmylksblog]

I’LL COME BACK BABY // H.FORT

the night before hector leaves to usa. based on this request.

genre: fluff

warnings: none

a/n: he played so well that i couldn’t help but write about him 😮‍💨 also we have more content about him yall edit girlies should be working 🫡

Hector and you sat on your couch, a cozy atmosphere filling the room. Soft music played in the background as you cuddled together, enjoying each other's company. You rested your head on his chest, tracing patterns on his shirt with your fingers. "I'm going to miss you while you're away," you said, looking up at him with a small pout on your lips. Hector smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around you. "I'll be back before you know it amor," he replied, kissing the top of your head.

"But it'll still be a week without you," you said, pouting even more. You knew it was childish, but you hated the thought of being apart from him even for a few days.

Hector chuckled and brushed a stray strand of hair away from your face. "I'll be thinking of you every single day," he assured you. "And I'll call you every night, I promise.

You took a deep breath and snuggled closer to him, taking comfort in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "Just promise me you'll be careful over there," you said quietly.

Hector tilted your chin up and looked into your eyes. "Of course, amor. I'll be playing in a friendly match, what's the worst that could happen?" he asked with a chuckle.

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help smiling at his nonchalance. "Don't jinx it," you replied, poking his chest. "I would never forgive you if something happened to you."

Hector pretended to be hurt, clutching his heart dramatically. "You wound me, amor," he said with a grin. "You really don't think I can handle myself?"

You smirked. "You can be pretty reckless sometimes," you said, recalling all the times he'd come home with a bruise after a particularly aggressive match.

Hector laughed, knowing that you had a point. "And I always survive," he said, shrugging. "I'll be fine, I promise. Just worry about missing me."

Hector could see the worry still present in your eyes despite your smile. He brought your face closer to his and gave you a soft kiss. "Amor, I promise I'll be fine," he said, trying to reassure you again.

You took a deep breath and nodded, forcing your worries aside. "I know baby, I know," you said, resting your head on his shoulder.

He stroked your hair and held you close. "Just think about all the fun we'll have when I get back," he said, trying to distract you from your worries. "We can go out to your favorite restaurant, go on a weekend getaway..."

You smiled, imagining all the things you could do together once he was back. "I like the sound of that," you replied, feeling your anxiety slowly dissipating.

Hector gave you a mischievous grin. "And I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun making up for lost time," he said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

You felt a blush creeping onto your cheeks at his words. "Hector!" you exclaimed playfully, lightly swatting his chest.

Hector laughed and pulled you closer. "What? I'm just saying what we're both thinking," he said, nuzzling your neck.

You rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly relishing the feeling of his touch. "You're terrible," you said, biting back a smile.

You looked at the clock and realized that it was getting late. "You should probably get some sleep cariño," you said reluctantly. "You have an early flight tomorrow."

Hector groaned and pulled you closer to him. "But I don't want to leave you yet," he said, pouting dramatically.

You chuckled at his pouting. "Don't worry, I'll join you in bed too," you reassured him.

Hector perked up at your words and a smirk appeared on his face. "In that case, let's go to bed immediately," he said, standing up and scooping you up into his arms.

You let out a surprised shriek as he carried you bridal style towards the bedroom. "Hector, put me down!" you protested, half-laughing.

He just chuckled and shook his head, continuing to carry you until he reached the bed. He laid you down gently before climbing in beside you and pulling you close.

You snuggled into his chest, feeling safe and comfortable in his embrace. "You're such a menace," you said, shaking your head.

Hector just laughed and buried his face in your hair. "But you love me anyway," he said smugly.

"Unfortunately," you muttered, though there was no heat behind your words.

Hector chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "You're stuck with me, amor," he said, wrapping his arms tighter around you.

You closed your eyes, feeling the warmth of his body and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Despite your teasing, you couldn't deny the way your heart rate quickened whenever he was near.

"Just promise me you'll come back in one piece," you said softly, your worries surfacing again.

Hector hugged you closer, rubbing your back reassuringly. "I promise, amor. I'll always come back to you," he said, his voice firm and sincere.

You took a deep breath and nodded, trying to find comfort in his words. "I love you," you said quietly.

Hector's hold on you tightened at your words, and he nuzzled your hair. "Te quiero," he whispered, his voice low and heartfelt. "More than anything."

You snuggled closer to him, feeling a sense of calm wash over you. "Hector?" you said suddenly.

"Hmm?" he replied, not opening his eyes as he continued to hold you.

You took a breath, not quite sure if you wanted to ask the question that was on your mind. "Will you still love me when you come back?" you blurted out, unable to stop yourself.

Hector opened his eyes and looked down at you, his expression serious. "Of course I will," he said firmly, cupping your face in his hand. "Why would you even ask that?"

You looked up at him, your insecurity clear in your expression. "But there will be so many pretty girls in America," you said quietly. "What if you meet someone else and forget all about me?"

Hector chuckled at your words, finding your insecurity endearing. But when he saw the look on your face and you turned away from him, he quickly realized that you were actually upset.

He wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you close to his chest. "Amor, you have nothing to worry about," he said gently, nuzzling your neck.

You stayed silent, biting your lip as you tried to suppress your doubts. Hector continued to hold you, tracing soothing patterns on your skin with his fingers.

"You really think I could forget about you that easily?" he asked, his voice soft but with a hint of amusement. "Have you seen yourself, amor? You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out."

Hector pulled you even closer, enveloping you in his warm embrace. "Don't worry anymore, amor," he whispered. "You're worrying me too."

You took a deep breath, feeling a sense of reassurance wash over you. "Goodnight, cariño," you said, finally relaxing against him.

He reached over to turn off the light, plunging the room into darkness. "Goodnight, amor," he replied, kissing the top of your head.

You were abruptly woken up by a loud thump and a few muttered curses coming from the bathroom. You sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you tried to orient yourself.

Panicked, you searched for Hector, hoping he wasn't already gone. When you heard him shuffling around in the bathroom, you quickly got out of bed and walked towards it.

You barged into the bathroom and immediately enveloped him in your arms. "Why didn't you wake me?" you asked, your voice a mix of surprise and frustration. "I wanted to say goodbye."

Hector wrapped his arms around you in return, a mixture of guilt and tenderness on his face. "I didn't want to wake you, amor," he said softly. "You looked so peaceful asleep."

You kissed him gently, your lips lingering on his for a moment. "Let me help you finish packing," you said, taking his hands in yours. "It'll go faster, and I want to make sure you have everything you need."

Hector smiled and squeezed your hands, grateful for your help. "Okay, amor," he said as he picked up the items he had dropped earlier.

You stood by the front door, Hector's manager waiting just outside. You couldn't help but poke at him one last time. "Are you sure you have everything? Your passport, wallet, keys...?"

Hector rolled his eyes playfully, feigning irritation as he checked his pockets for the thousandth time. "I have everything, amor. I swear."

You laughed and gave him a gentle nudge. "You forgot something, though," you said, a sly smile on your lips.

Hector raised an eyebrow, looking slightly suspicious. "Oh, really? What did I forget?"

You leaned up on the tips of your toes and whispered in his ear, "Good luck kiss?"

Hector chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "How could I forget that?" he replied, his voice mischievous as he pressed a deep, lingering kiss on your lips.

For a moment, the world around you faded away, and you lost yourself in his embrace. But eventually, he pulled away, breaking the spell.

He kissed your forehead gently before reluctantly stepping back. "I'll make sure to call you every night amor," he said, his voice a little hoarse.

You nodded, a bittersweet smile on your face. "I'll be waiting," you said quietly.

Hector gave you one last lingering look before turning to leave, his manager waiting patiently outside. He looked back at you from the doorway, giving you a small wave.

You waved back, watching as he disappeared down the sidewalk. A pang of sadness hit you as you closed the door, feeling already lonely without his presence. But you took a deep breath, knowing that he would be back soon.

[edenmemes]

baldur's gate 3 starters (part 1)

part 1 / ? .

❝ a less trusting person might think this all sounds very suspicious. ❞ ❝ you say all the right words, but i’m not sure you mean the right things. ❞ ❝ i know somewhere quiet. somewhere intimate. somewhere we can…indulge in each other. ❞ ❝ eugh, don’t be nice to me. it makes me want to be nice back. ❞ ❝ we needn’t be enemies. there’s plenty of those to go around already. ❞ ❝ there’s a steeliness to you, an unwavering tenacity in the face of, to be frank, quite dire odds. ❞ ❝ even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will. ❞ ❝ i appreciate anyone that opens a conversation with threats of bodily harm. ❞ ❝ oh, you know me - ever the optimist. i’m trying to focus on the positives. ❞ ❝ i’m not easily impressed by people, but you’re stronger than i gave you credit for. ❞ ❝ there’s an air about you. something alien. ❞ ❝ loosen the grip on your pride for one blasted moment, won’t you? ❞ ❝ it’s been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that. ❞ ❝ there’s something odd about this village. people skulk around like they’ve something to hide. ❞ ❝ you know, if you want to spend time with me, you only have to say so. ❞ ❝ i want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. what you see. ❞ ❝ what’s better than a devil you don’t know? a devil you do. ❞ ❝ you must know that you’re…that you’re very special to me. ❞ ❝ the gods are nothing if not vindictive in their vengeance. ❞ ❝ stay with me a while, will you? day will come all too soon. ❞ ❝ here’s my little treat with their cheeks all flushed. ❞ ❝ i am terrified. i will not claim otherwise. ❞ ❝ my apologies. i’m not quite myself yet. i had the strangest dream last night. ❞ ❝ we didn’t die today. tomorrow, perhaps. but not today. ❞ ❝ leader’s need to make tough decisions. we do what we must. ❞ ❝ i think that unknowable powers come with unknowable consequences. ❞ ❝ i’ve had a lifetime’s fill of watching little men puff themselves up with grand titles. ❞ ❝ in these times, all we can trust are the blades in our hands. ❞ ❝ it’s not easy to turn away from one you once loved. ❞ ❝ much has been promised to you, hasn’t it? but what has been taken from you? ❞ ❝ damn it all. i can do nothing right - not a damn thing. ❞ ❝ every instinct i have tells me that nothing’s changed. that i’m still just a means to an end. ❞ ❝ do not speak of a story you only know the half of. ❞ ❝ i dreamt every night that you’d come back to me. that somehow it was all a nightmare dawn would undo. ❞ ❝ when the time comes to strike, you must take it. for there may be only one chance. ❞ ❝ your eyes. there is pain, endless and deep. but also devotion - blazing like the sun. ❞ ❝ you’re adorable even when you’re teasing me. ❞ ❝ i don’t need your help, and i don’t need your pity. ❞ ❝ i’m more than what i was. and i’m not afraid of anything any more. ❞ ❝ i said exactly what i meant: i love you. you should never, never doubt that. ❞ ❝ this is all like some sort of terrible dream. but it’s real, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ there is no redemption. can’t you see? it is too late. ❞ ❝ i don’t know that it was brave. i just know that it was right. ❞ ❝ you took those bastards down like it was nothing. it…was amazing. ❞ ❝ they underestimated me. so they paid the price. ❞ ❝ we fight, we die, and we just hope that when our time comes, there is someone else to take our place. ❞ ❝ unfortunately for me, you’re my friend. rescuing you from mortal peril is my right. ❞ ❝ what did you think i was going to say? 'oh, come here, i'll kiss you better'? ❞ ❝ flowers are so overrated. they're bright, gaudy, and almost never make good poisons. ❞ ❝ i’ve been lied to, my whole life. and i was gullible enough to just believe it. ❞ ❝ you know, i never pictured myself as a hero. never thought i'd be the one they toast for saving so many lives. and now that i'm here…i hate it. ❞ ❝ you know, i feel a connection between us. like we're two souls walking the same path. ❞ ❝ the forgiving sort, are you? you should be careful. plenty would take advantage of that. ❞

❝ it’s as if god made you just to ruin me. ❞ ❝ perish the thought. every word i said was nothing less than true. ❞ ❝ you have a manner of irresistible desperation about you. i like it. ❞ ❝ i got my eye on you. you got the look of a troublemaker. ❞ ❝ i’m starting to think you’re my guardian angel. ❞ ❝ it seems you know me better than i know myself. ❞ ❝ you…you have no idea what you’ve done. ❞ ❝ they say madness and genius are separated by but a hair’s breadth. perhaps the same is true of madness and stupidity. ❞ ❝ oh, it’s you. don’t you get tired of telling people how to live their lives? ❞ ❝ good morning! thank you for not killing me the other night. ❞ ❝ when the time comes to strike, you must take it. for there may be only one chance. ❞ ❝ it is good to savour the moment of victory - but pace bg3 syourself. our fight is just beginning. ❞ ❝ i was too hasty to judge you. i thought you were witless, gutless, unimpressivably bland… ❞ ❝ yours is the first happy face i’ve seen in a good while. ❞ ❝ when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair – that’s when you’ll come knocking on my door. ❞ ❝ thank you, my friend. maybe we’ll meet again, in another life. ❞ ❝ you’ll regret sticking your nose in my business. ❞

[xomakara]

Welcome Home

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | In which you jump Seonghwa’s bones after he comes home from tour.

PAIRING | Seonghwa x Reader

GENRE/CONTENT/WARNINGS | Idol!Seonghwa, non-idol!Reader, smut with no plot, literally just pure unadulterated filthy smut, consensual sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up y'all), fingering, dirty talk, pet names (angel, baby), praise kink, kitchen counter sex, filthy sex, oral sex

RATING | Mature, Explicit, 18+, NSFW, MDNI

LENGTH | 3,281 words

TAGLIST |  @noir-aria

NETWORKS |  @cromernet (reuploaded so only tagging nets that haven't reblogged it yet)

AUTHOR’S NOTE | Literally wrote this in like 4 hours because my friend wanted me to. just pure, filthy pwp doesn't take me that long to write lolol. Apologies if it sounds rushed or whatnot lol. My friend sent me this video and I was inspired lololol. And now I shall drown myself in holy water.

Seonghwa was not ready for the attack you launched at him when he strode into the apartment after a few months of touring, but he was never one to turn you down. You'd jumped him in the entryway, lips finding his and legs around his waist before he could even get his jacket off.

He had his hands under your ass, keeping you from falling, and when he tried to pull away, you bit his lip, earning a deep groan. You smirked at him, and he walked forward, pressing your back into the wall and kissing you deeply. Your fingers slid into his hair and you tugged him closer, your body grinding against his.

You moaned softly, and he pulled away, "I missed you, baby." He murmured, kissing your jaw. “But why the sudden attack?" He asked.

You pouted, "You're supposed to be happy." You said, and he laughed.

"Baby, I am happy. I'm very, very happy. But this is unexpected. Not that I'm complaining." He said, squeezing your ass and kissing you again. "It's just, I expected a nice greeting, a kiss, a hug, maybe something to eat, and a shower."

"But-"

"But nothing." He said, "I'm not upset. I just wanted to know what had you so needy. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

You looked at him, biting your lip, "I don’t like watching my boyfriend half naked and gyrating his hips through a screen. I know it’s your job but just the thought of other girls seeing your naked chest or your sexy, smoldering looks...I don't like it. I don’t share, Seonghwa.”

"Awww baby." He smiled, kissing you, "How many times do I have to tell you I only have eyes for you? You're the only one I want to see, the only one I want to be with. It's always been you and only you. So, no worries."

"Mmm, still." You hummed, nuzzling into his neck, your feet landing back on the ground.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" He asked, hands on your hips.

“Nope."

"Fine. I'm sorry for being a sexy, gyrating, half-naked idol on stage and making you all hot and bothered. There. Will you forgive me now?" He said, leaning in close and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"No." You said, and he raised his brows, surprised.

"You're mad." He said.

"Yes."

"Because I'm a sexy gyrating half-naked idol onstage that makes you all hot and bothered."

"Yes."

"So, what's the solution here? I'm sorry. I'll wear a shirt next time. Or I'll do some hip thrusts and then I can take my shirt off and I can do the thrusting thing.

"I'm not mad at you for doing your job. I'm mad that you're sexy and I don't like the thought of other people seeing you like that. I don't want anyone else to have that view."

"So, you want to claim me. Mark me. Make me yours." He said, and you nodded. "You want to tie me down and mark every inch of my body with your lips."

"Yes. I do."

"Hmm. What are we going to do about that?" He said, smirking.

You pushed him back until he hit the wall, dropping to your knees in front of him, your fingers making quick work of his belt and zipper. You tugged his pants and boxers down, and his cock sprang out. He was already hard and throbbing.

“Fuck…” Seonghwa let out a moan as your lips wrapped around his cock. Your mouth is warm and wet, and it feels so good to Seonghwa that he just has to let out a loud moan. You start sucking him, going all the way to the base before slowly going back up, tongue swirling on the tip and then licking down the vein on the underside.

You repeat this a few more times, and every time Seonghwa lets out a string of profanities, saying how good it feels and how you are the only one who can do it. His fingers run through your hair and grips them, but he doesn't force your head down, letting you work your magic at your own pace.

And you love the noises he makes, moans and grunts coming out from his plump lips. He's the prettiest like this, you thought, pants down, lips parted, eyes closed and head thrown back, exposing the column of his neck. He looks ethereal, a sight to behold, and he's yours, only yours.

You start moving faster, bobbing your head and swallowing around his cock. You feel his hips twitch and thrust up, pushing his dick even deeper inside your mouth, and you moan, the vibrations making him groan loudly.

"Fuck, angel. You’re doing so well, taking my cock so good. Such a good girl." He praises you, making you look up. Seonghwa is staring at you, mouth parted and eyes half-lidded, looking so fucking hot that you felt yourself get wetter.

You continue sucking him, hollowing your cheeks as you pull out and lapping at the head when you come back down. Your tongue swirls around the tip and then you suck him again. Seonghwa's hands are in your hair, not moving, just keeping you in place.

You pull away, lips red and swollen, a string of saliva connecting your mouth to the tip of his dick.

"Seonghwa," you say, voice hoarse and rough. "You love it when I suck your cock?"

"God, yes, baby. It feels so good." He groans as you go back down on him, bobbing your head up and down quickly.

"You like seeing my lips wrapped around your cock? Do you think I look pretty?" You ask him, and Seonghwa nods frantically, telling you how good you look, and how pretty your mouth looks while you suck him.

"Yeah? Am I pretty for you, Hwa?"

"Yes, so fucking pretty." Seonghwa moans out. "God, so pretty, all mine."

You continue sucking him, taking him down until you almost gagged. His hips buck up, and you moan.

"I want to cum, baby. Make me cum." He says.

You keep going, moving up and down his shaft, tongue pressing at the sensitive spot on the underside. Seonghwa is a moaning mess, saying your name like a prayer, and it turns you on even more, and you are sure that your panties are ruined by now.

He pulls your head back and tells you to open your mouth.

"Stick your tongue out, angel." He says, and you obey. You open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, and Seonghwa holds his cock and starts pumping it quickly, eyes fixed on your tongue.

"Fuck, such a pretty sight." He murmurs, and he cums, his release landing on your tongue and face. You moan at the feeling of his warm cum on your skin. Seonghwa continues to pump his cock, and some of his release lands on your cheeks, lips, and chin.

When he's done, he pulls you up and kisses you hungrily. He can taste himself on your lips, and it turns him on.

"You're so dirty, angel." He whispers, licking his own cum off your lips. "Such a dirty girl, letting me cum on your pretty little face."

"You made me like this, Hwa." You reply. "And now, you have to take care of me."

"I will." He says, pulling you in for another kiss. He pulls away, his lips moving to your neck, and you throw your head back, giving him better access. He sucks on the spot just below your ear, and you gasp, fingers curling in his hair.

He continues sucking and biting, leaving hickeys and bruises on your neck and shoulders. You moan, loving the feeling of his lips on your skin, and you feel him smirk against your shoulder.

"You like this, baby?" He asks, his voice low and rough, sending shivers down your spine.

"Yes," You breathe out. "I love it."

Seonghwa pulls away and starts taking his clothes off, and you follow suit, shedding your own clothing and tossing them on the floor. When you are both naked, Seonghwa pulls you close, and you can feel his erection pressed against your stomach. You grind against him, and he lets out a low growl.

"Someone's impatient." He teases.

"Can you blame me? It's been too long." You say.

"I know, baby, I know. But don't worry, I'll take care of you."

"Then hurry up." You whine. “I don’t care where we fuck.”

"So bossy." He says and he picks you up and carries you to the kitchen, setting you down on the island. He presses his lips to yours, kissing you deeply and roughly, and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. His cock rubs against your pussy, and you let out a moan, breaking the kiss.

Seonghwa's lips move to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses down to your breasts. He takes one of your nipples into his mouth and sucks on it, and you let out a gasp. His tongue swirls around the bud and he nibbles it, then he moves to the other nipple and gives it the same treatment.

Your hands are in his hair, pulling him closer and holding him in place. He sucks and bites, leaving hickeys and marks on your chest. When he's done, he moves lower, kissing and biting your skin, marking you as his. You feel his hands at the juncture between your thighs, fingers brushing against your dripping cunt.

"Seonghwa.." You moan his name.

"You're so wet." He says as he unlatched from your nipple and trails down kisses on your neck, biting and sucking on the skin.

"It's your fault. You made me this wet." You whine as he rubs your clit.

"Really? And how did I do that?" He asks, teasing. He's still rubbing your clit, and the friction is driving you crazy.

"Fuck, Seonghwa."

"Answer me, angel." He says, plunging two fingers inside of you. You throw your head back and moan, feeling Seonghwa's long, slender fingers curl up inside of you.

"Oh, fuck!" You moan.

"C'mon, answer me. How did I make you this wet?" He says, thrusting his fingers into you, and you swear that you could feel his fingertips brush against your g-spot.

"You and your filthy mouth." You managed to say, and he chuckles, fingers continuing to move in and out of you.

"Do you like my filthy mouth, angel? I like using it to make you feel good. Like this." He says, pulling his fingers out of you, and before you could complain, he has already replaced it with his mouth.

"Shit." You let out a breathy moan, and your hand finds its way to his hair, tugging on it as his tongue moves against you.

He licks and sucks on your clit, occasionally dipping his tongue inside you.

"You taste so good, baby." He murmurs, lips pressed against your sensitive skin. "So fucking delicious."

"Shit, shit." You curse, hips rolling to meet his tongue.

He continues to eat you out, tongue and lips working together to make you feel good. His tongue is hot and wet, and it feels so damn good. He moans against your pussy, and you swear you could feel the vibrations up to your spine. He laps at your clit, tongue circling the bundle of nerves. You're a moaning mess, curses spilling from your mouth as you grip his hair. You look down, and you see him staring at you.

His eyes are dark, filled with lust, and they are burning with passion and desire. He's looking at you, watching your face contort in pleasure, and it's all because of him. He loves it when you lose control and submit to him, letting him make you feel good.

"Shit, Seonghwa." You moan, and he pulls away, kissing his way up to your neck and jaw, his lips pressing against your skin.

"God, you're so hot." He murmurs into your skin.

You whimper, wanting his mouth on your clit again.

"Hwa, please." You whine.

"Please, what?" He says, teasing.

"Fuck, I'm so close." You say, and he smiles, his hands gripping your thighs as he leans down, lips latching onto your clit again.

You roll your hips, grinding against his face, chasing the release that is so close, but so far.

"Hwa, please." You beg, and he obliges, tongue flicking against your clit faster. You moan, and soon enough, you are screaming his name, his tongue pushing you over the edge.

"Fuck!" You cry out, hips bucking against his face as your orgasm washes over you, making your vision white and your body shake.

"That's it, angel." He whispers, and he doesn't stop, his tongue and lips working you through your orgasm, prolonging it, and making it feel even better. When you are done, he pulls away and licks his lips, tasting the last bit of your orgasm.

"Fucking delicious." He murmurs and pulls you into a heated kiss, tongues clashing and teeth clacking, but neither of you care, too lost in each other to even notice.

He pulls away, and he presses his forehead against yours, his eyes locking with yours.

"Fuck, I need to be inside you." He groans, and you nod, not trusting your voice.

He lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes inside of you, inch by inch, letting you adjust to his size. He groans, and you can feel him throb inside you.

"You feel so good, baby." He moans, and he starts moving, his hips rocking against yours, his cock sliding in and out of you.

"God, Seonghwa." You moan, his name a mantra falling from your lips. He's hitting all the right spots, his cock filling you up and stretching you out in all the right ways.

"You're so tight, baby. So fucking tight." He moans, his thrusts picking up speed. “God, I fucking missed you. Missed this. Missed us.”

"Hwa, fuck." You cry out, his cock hitting all the right places.

"Yes, baby, yes." He says, his breath coming out in short pants. "Say my name, angel. Let me hear you scream it."

"Seonghwa." You moan, and he thrusts into you even harder, his cock hitting your sweet spot and making you see stars.

"You're so fucking sexy." He moans, his voice sending shivers down your spine and straight to your core.

You moan his name, his fingers digging into your hips, his grip almost painful, but you love it. You love the pain and the pleasure that he's giving you, the way he's fucking you, and the way his cock is making you feel.

"Fuck, Hwa." You moan, his hips snapping against yours.

"Say it again." He growls, his lips ghosting over your ear, his breath hot and heavy.

"Seonghwa." You moan, his name sounding like a prayer. "God, I fucking love you."

"I love you, too." He groans, his voice rough and hoarse, and it makes your knees weak.

You wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him closer, and he moans, his lips pressing against yours in a heated kiss. His lips move against yours, and you feel his tongue slip into your mouth.

He groans into the kiss, and his fingers are gripping your hips, holding you in place as he thrusts into you. His cock is hitting all the right spots, and you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

"Hwa." You moan his name, and he smiles against your lips, his hips moving faster, his cock sliding in and out of you easily.

"I'm gonna cum, baby." He whispers, his voice rough and breathless.

"Me, too." You reply, your nails digging into his back.

He keeps going, his cock hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. Your legs are shaking, and your vision is starting to get blurry. You feel the familiar heat pooling in your lower belly, and you know that you're close.

"Seonghwa, fuck." You moan, and he groans, his thrusts getting faster and harder.

"Yes, angel, yes. Cum for me." He whispers, his voice a low rumble. "Cream all over my cock."

"Fuck, Hwa." You moan, and you can feel your orgasm approaching.

"That's it, baby." He grunts. "Cum for me."

"Shit, I'm gonna-"You reach your orgasm, and you cry out his name, your pussy clenching around his cock.

"That's it, baby." He moans, and he cums soon after, his cock twitching inside of you as his release coats your walls.

You both stay like that for a few minutes, his cock still buried deep inside of you, the only sound in the room is the sounds of your heavy breathing.

“Baby, I know we both came but I really want to continue fucking you. You feel so good, and I don't want to let you go." He murmurs, pressing a soft kiss on your neck.

“I need more of you, Hwa.”

He stands up and picks you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck. He carries you to the bedroom, his hands cupping your ass and holding you in place.

He carries you to the bed, and he lays you down, his body hovering over yours. He looks at you, his eyes dark with lust, and you can't help but moan.

"I should go on tour more often...if this is what happens when I get back." He smirks, and he leans down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

"And leave me alone again? Fuck no." You say, pulling him closer and kissing him hungrily. "Don't need you going around being half-naked again."

"I was clothed." He chuckles.

"And everyone was still eye-fucking you."

"Well, it was worth it." He smirks.

"Oh, was it now?"

He chuckles, his lips moving to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin.

"Fuck, baby, you're so needy." He growls, and his hands are on your body, roaming your skin, touching and caressing.

"You made me like this, Seonghwa." You reply, your voice breathless and shaky. "I missed you so much."

"I know, baby, I know. I missed you too." He whispers and kisses you, his lips pressing against yours in a heated kiss.

You kiss him back, your fingers curling in his hair and tugging. He moans into the kiss, his lips moving against yours, and his tongue slips into your mouth, exploring and tasting.

Your hands are on his chest, your nails digging into his skin, leaving marks and scratches. He groans, his hips rocking against yours, and his erection pressed against your thigh.

"God, baby, I missed you so much." He says, breaking the kiss, and he sits up, pulling you with him, and his lips move to your neck, sucking and biting the skin. "Missed your pretty little lips, your pretty tits, your pretty pussy."

You moan, his words sending shivers down your spine. You pull him closer, his lips finding yours again, and he kisses you, his tongue slipping into your mouth and exploring.

You grind against him, his erection pressing against your soaked pussy, and you can feel him throb and twitch. You moan, and he pulls away, his lips trailing down to your breasts, kissing and licking and biting the skin.

"Such a good girl, waiting for me to come home." He whispers, his lips pressing against the swell of your breast. "My beautiful, perfect girl. I love you so much."

"God, Hwa, I love you too." You moan, your fingers running through his hair. "Welcome back home."

"It's good to be home, baby." He says, sliding into you once more. "It's good to be home."

[livinggxd3adgirl]

synopsis— this is a part 2 of “what’s that supposed to mean?”

a/n— I did not expect so many people to like the first part and want a 2nd part .I thought it was going to going to flop. But thank you guys sm! As always there may be errors so pls forgive me. Likes and reblogs are always greatly appreciated!

It had been about 2 weeks since you left gojo. You had been staying at his best friends, geto’s house. You were wearing getos clothes nice all of your was at your apartment that gojo is currently living in. Gojo had called you a few times, but you never answered. You weren’t sure what he wanted with you, but frankly, you didn't care what he had to say. You sat on the sugurus couch. The house filled with silence. All you could hear was the sound of your beating heart. Your mind ran through what happened that night over and over again until you couldn't even remember your own name.

you were snapped out of your thoughts about gojo when you heard the door click open and getos soft voice. "Hey .. im back, I brought us some food. " Geto had been trying to comfort you with all your favorite foods and just be by your side during this hard time.

"Thanks, suguru.. really, " you gave him a weak smile. Suguru set down his keys before he set the bag of food down on the coffee table in front of you.

"Listen.. I know that you're still heart broken about gojo and all, but he's coming here later. He said he wanted to talk to me about something. " he sounded reluctant to tell you that Gojo was coming and for good reason.

You nod your head as he spoke. He sucked in a deep breath before you spoke. Your throat was itchy because of all the crying you have been doing for the past 2 weeks. "I understand geto, ill leave after I eat." Your weak smile pulled at Geto's heart strings. He truly couldn't reason why he even let you stay so long. Geto felt bad for you, of course, but there was something else he felt for you, but he just couldn't understand what it was.

Before geto could stop himself, he quickly spoke, "You dont have to leave, sweetheart..." he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. "You can stay in my bedroom while he's here. I can't fathom letting that idiot drive you out of here, too. " You finally let out a real smile as you sniffle. For the first time in 2 weeks, you felt like you finally had someone that was on your side.

"Should we eat?" You ask whike smiling. Geto, let's go of your hand as he starts working the bag open.

2 HOURS LATER

You and geto had eaten and watched movies for a while before gojo texted suguru he was in his way. "Stay here, sweetheart. I'll come get you myself, " Geto reassured you as he gave your shoulder a soft squeeze.

"I'll be here waiting.. and geto thank you, really I'm very grateful for everything you have done for me. " Geto couldn't fathom how stupid Gojo was for letting someone like you out of his sight. God, if you were his, he would never let you leave his apartment.

Sugurus train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He quickly said his goodbyes and answered his front door.

You sat on Getos bed and stared at the closed bedroom door. The mere thought of gojo being just a few feet away from you made you want to throw up. As time passed, it felt like hours, but in reality, it had only been a few minutes.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard gojo and getos' voice gradually get closer and closer to the door. You can hear geto say "cmon dude don't go in there really just go wait in the living room ill get it for you".

Before Geto could even stop him, Gojo flung the door open. His eyes immediately widen as he sees you sitting comfortably on Sugurus bed.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

edit!: prt 3

tags!! @ourfinalisation @96jnie @qashmer @sugurugirlie @gollumsmygel @ritzes28

[morose-melodies]

how to say goodbye | yandere! genshin impact

ft. capitano, dottore, pantalone, and childe

summary: yandere harbingers writing letters to you after you ran away.

content warning: implied abuse, kidnapping, and just them mistreating you

(y/n),

I don't think you understand how happy I was to find out that you were still in snezhnaya.

you're not even that far away from where I am.

don't worry, I won't come visit you or anything!

well, maybe I will. I haven't made up my mind yet. my mind is in shambles right now because I'm pretty excited.

I know you ran away because you hate me. I get that, I'd hate me too if I were you.

so, on that note, I want to apologize. I made a mistake that night, it wasn't nice of me.

I was scared of losing you but now that I have, I feel different, or something like that.

I've come to my senses, I guess...

I hope I didn't leave any scars on you, I'd never forgive myself if I did.

and I don't expect you to forgive me.

so, no hard feelings if you toss this in the garbage after getting it.

so, I guess I won't be coming to see you anytime soon. it would probably scare you really bad, huh?

I'm trying to be better, (y/n). I want to be someone good for you. I want you to think of me and smile, let me prove that I can change because I swear I can.

I'm not asking for another chance or anything. I just want you to know that I'm trying to change for you.

so, if you ever run into me in town, you don't have to be scared of me dragging you away again, I won't.

I won't even look at you if you don't want me too.

that's all for now.

- ajax

(y/n),

I caught a glance of you today.

I would have never guessed you'd end up in sumeru. if not for the trista sending for me, I would have pursued you, but sadly, I could not.

my work comes before all.

I'm writing to you on a ship, I'll be back in snezhnaya by the time this reaches you, however, it might reach you.

I'm not sure what made me write this letter. this is not an apology by any means, I do not want you to take it as one.

that is, because, I am not sorry.

I haven't changed in any way that you would have liked me to. in truth, my resolve to have you back has only gotten stronger.

does that frighten you?

I would have dragged you onto the ship with me given the chance; sadly, things cannot always go my way.

I've learned to deal with rejection and such. it does not phase me anymore.

but, I'm getting off topic.

I admit, I miss you (y/n), and if I happen to ever see you again, you'll be coming home with me.

perhaps I'll let you sleep in my bed this time around as opposed to the basement floor.

- dottore

(y/n),

does it frighten you to know that I've been watching you?

I hope not. I've been worrying for you nonstop, I couldn't bring myself to let you leave so easily.

until that ship comes and takes you to mondstat, I will be watching you. I cannot stop myself, it's a compulsion, it seems.

I'm afraid the moment I look away, harm might come to you.

this is not a plea for forgiveness, not at all.

you seem afraid.

I'm sure of what I saw three nights ago, you caught a glimpse of me in the woods, was that it?

I'm sure you are afraid I've come to take you back, but, it's nothing of the sort.

you should continue to go about your day without a care for I won't allow anything to happen to you.

don't lock yourself away in your home, living in such fear isn't good for you, (y/n).

even as I write this, I understand that you will most likely be more afraid than before and I apologize.

but, I will not stop.

I cannot stop.

for I have sworn to protect you.

- capitano

(y/n),

it has come to my knowledge that you're selling the jewelry I bought for you.

is that not rude? it's a slap in the face to me.

you little thief, first you ran off wearing one of my finest coats, along with the jewelry I bought you, and now you sell it all?

I had half a mind to come down to your store today to take all the stolen items back, but I took a deep breath while writing this and realized you could do as you, please.

you are (y/n), after all.

come back and take more jewelry for all I care. i wouldn't stop you.

I had a long-running fantasy of the two of us ruling the world financially together - you adorn in the most beautiful jewels and me by your side.

when you ran off that night, I caught a glimpse of you. it was just as I saw you in my fantasy. if only you had stayed, (y/n), day by day, I got closer to my goal.

I will let you run free for now.

when I financially rule over the people, and when their every belongs to me, as will you.

you will be mine once more, (y/n).

- pantalone

[mypoisonedvine]

Humbly requesting knotting with werewolf bill pleaseeeeee I’m thirsty 🥺

oh god oh jesus oh no oh god oh jesus this got out of hand quickly...

warnings: knotting and a few other a/b/o tropes but technically not a/b/o cause reader is 'normal', semi-werewolf bill (I don't get into the specifics it's porn), size kink and some pain, breeding kink, biting/marking kink

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, but his grip was getting tighter on your thighs; you knew he needed this. It's why you agreed in the first place— but the little fucker kept stalling.

Okay, actually, not a little fucker. That was exactly what was holding him back now: knowing he was anything but little.

"I would never forgive myself, really," he insisted, "if you— if it hurt you. If I—"

"Bill, it's okay," you promised. "I can take it."

You weren't actually totally sure of that; now that you'd seen his cock, and now that you'd read about werewolves and their... mating, you were a bit nervous that he really would ruin you. But you at least wanted to try— and you knew that whatever he needed, you could give. "But if you need me to stop—"

"I know," you sighed, "you'll be the first to know."

He sighed, looking down at you and tilting his head slightly. "You're too good to me," he breathed.

"Hey, just a favour between friends," you insisted, even though it was obviously more than that; he laughed a little, knowing this was beyond the typical bounds of a friendly offering. But you'd been the one to suggest it, when he explained to you how sick he could get if he didn't give in to his breeding instinct, and he had only checked that you really meant it about a thousand times before he agreeing to it.

His cock was already hard, of course; actually, it was throbbing, like it knew what was coming. He'd been struggling to control himself as soon as he smelled you— your cunt, your arousal, he swore he could hear your heartbeat. His body longed to fill you, breed you, claim you, and it was a little more than just his newfound werewolf qualities talking... but he wasn't quite acknowledging that consciously at the moment.

He laid his cock down over your stomach, pressing his base right up to where it would meet you if he was balls deep, and almost snarled at the sight of his tip surpassing your belly button. "S'how deep it's gonna be..." he whispered to you.

You swallowed thickly. "I can fit it. At least I'll try."

He shut his eyes, summoning a few more moments of patience, swearing to himself that he would be gentle with you even if it took more self-control than he felt he had at the moment.

"I-it's okay if you don't want to, with me," you added quickly, nervous with the way he seemed to keep hesitating. "It was just an idea..."

But he was so focused on admiring your body under him, your spread legs and the wet, waiting cunt between them— soft skin, a patient stare on your face; there was a sick little voice in his mind, shouting out from one of the deepest corners ruin, ruin, ruin. He needed you to be his. He knew how dangerous this was; but it nearly killed him last rut, not being able to fuck anything but his hand. He already felt the base of his cock pulsing, ready to swell and knot anything at this point. "I want you," he whispered. "Really fucking bad. Is that okay?"

You bit your lip. "Yeah, that's okay. I want you to do it, Bill— take me. I wanna help you."

He nodded a little, before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was gentle, shockingly so— that was the last of his human resolve, it felt like. It was the way he imagined he should've kissed you a long time ago, if he wasn't always too nervous to try. You kissed him back, reaching up to gently hold onto his arms. You felt... little. Smaller than usual. Maybe it was your shyness, or maybe it was just that he felt big in times like this.

He pressed his swollen head to your opening, and sighed as he plunged forward. Your nails dug into his skin, but he kept going; you whined against his lips, but he kept going, going going until he was flush against you and your eyes were rolled back in your head. "F-fuck, Bill— s'deep..."

"Fuck," he groaned, lifting you up, wrapping his arms around you, holding you close; he needed to feel you everywhere, as much as he could. "Is it hurting you?"

"No, fuck," you promised, holding onto him in return, "just move. I'm ready."

He tried to be slow, really, but it was hard not to just let his animal side take over. With all his patience, he managed to keep it not-quite-rushed but still not delicate either; you whined and hid your face in the crook of his neck, so he kissed the side of your head as he tried to remind himself not to hurt you. "It won't take me long," he assured, thinking that was a good thing in this case since you were probably struggling with it. "I— I haven't at all, since... since it happened. And I need it more than ever."

He saw your bare shoulder, and he shuddered with desire.

"You're so pretty," he breathed, "I want— I wanna bite you. Fuck, is that weird?"

"Do it," you pleaded, baring your neck for him; he was totally helpless to that, and he licked all over your skin before carefully sinking his teeth in. "Fuck! Bill, fuck, I like it— I like when you do that to me..."

He growled and did it again, on your shoulder; he wanted to mark you all over until you could never hide what he'd done to you. "Tell me it feels good," he demanded.

"It feels— oh god, Bill, it feels really fucking good... your cock is— fuck!" you moaned, and he could feel you shaking in his arms.

"I want you to come first," he whispered, "it might make it easier to take. I don't think I'll last much longer..."

He held your hips and tilted them just right, so your clit could grind against the spot above his cock— which was already just about ready to knot you, by the way, but he was holding it back somehow— and he hoped you wouldn't mind that he hadn't done much to tame the wild ginger hairs there.

He almost lost his cool when you started to rub yourself on him, rocking your hips just the way you needed, moaning louder in his ear. All he could've hoped for was that this would satisfy him, but clearly you loved it too, and that made him twice as desperate in an instant. "Fuck, it's coming— the knot," he warned with a gasp. "M'gonna breed you. Fuck. Gonna give you pups."

"Bill," you sobbed, but he couldn't stop talking as he fucked you faster and rougher than ever.

"Gonna be so fucking pretty— so fucking full," he groaned, "full of me. Gonna be mine now."

"Yeah," you panted.

"Gonna be so good for me, m'gonna breed you over and over—"

"Fuck!" you whimpered, and he could feel you pulsing, creaming around him; it was enough to make a growl echo in his chest.

"Mine," he insisted again, "my girl. Say it."

"Yours," you promised, "fuck, I want it— knot me, Bill, breed me—"

He already was, as soon as you said he was yours: the base of his cock filled and he heard your words break into a shaky sob as it pushed you to your absolute limits. He'd imagined he might pull the knot out of you before it got too big, to save you the pain, but now that he was here he had no intentions of keeping it anywhere but safe and warm inside you. "Good girl," he praised, "all fucking mine. Can you feel it? Feel me breeding you?"

You were speechless, just shivering and nodding; he could feel your tears, they were running down his chest as you pressed your face against him, and he should've felt guilty for how much he loved it.

Still, a bit of sanity was returning now that his knot was inside you, his come filling you— and not a drop of it would go to waste, with him keeping you plugged like this.

He held tighter onto you and laid you back on the beg again, kissing your tear-stained face.

"Tell me you're okay," he requested quietly, and you just nodded. "I'm sorry, I— not everything I said was— you won't get pregnant, there's a potion for it."

You smiled a little. "It's fine."

"It's fine, as in, it's fine that I said it, or... it's fine, you won't take the potion?"

Your wide, teary eyes looked up at him, and he figured he might have said too much, but he couldn't find the heart to take it back. "Would you... I mean, would you let me—?"

"Would I let you have my baby?" he chuckled. "It's your choice."

"That's... a pretty big favour for a friend," you mumbled, and he laughed before he nuzzled his face against yours.

"How about if I'm in love with you? What then?" he whispered. "And if you loved me to? Maybe we could..."

"Yeah," you breathed, "okay. Maybe."

He purred happily as he kissed one of your tears away. "Good," he said, "because I think when this knot goes down, we might have to start all over."

[hoomandoescosplay]

🍋Twist of Fate | Alastor x Reader x Lucifer🍋

This oneshot is a lemon so please take this into consideration before reading!! ✨

─── ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ ───

I sit on the lobby’s sofa waiting for Lucifer to finish his conversation with Charlie as I hear a slight static noise coming from somewhere. I glance around the room but don’t see anyone or anything. Standing up I cross my arms, tilting my head slightly in the process. “You know it’s really creepy to watch someone.” I say out loud.

“Oh? Well, forgive my rudeness, it’s a nasty habit of mine.” Alastor smirks as he slowly appears from out of the shadows. As soon as I called him out the static noise disappeared, piquing my interest. “Habits are hard to break, I'll give you that.”

“Mmm, I suppose so. Now, you’re Lucifer’s little play thing, correct?” Alastor walks up to me, his cane tapping along the ground with every step he takes. “Play thing?” I scoff, offended. “Do you think we don’t have a serious relationship? That’s quite an assumption to make.”

“Oh, I have no doubt it’s serious.” Alastor says as he stops a few feet in front of me, his smile growing a little wider as he speaks. “I’m just surprised Lucifer could keep someone like you happy, darling.”

I grimace slightly at his bold statements. “And what exactly do you mean by that?” He chuckles as he gently grabs my chin, his hand cold and slender. He moves my head up as he speaks. “He’s simply too boring for you. Someone such as yourself needs someone a bit more entertaining.”

I try to move away to create some distance between us but his grip on my chin is firm. “And what exactly do you consider “more entertaining” means for someone like me?”

His smirk widens, his red, glowing eyes never leaving mine. “Someone who’ll give you all of the attention you could possibly desire. Someone more than willing to satisfy your needs...” His other hand comes up to my waist, slowly wrapping around it. “In every way imaginable.”

“And you don’t think Lucifer does that for me?” I question as my eyes narrow. What kind of game is he playing at right now? “Oh, I’m sure he tries.” Alastor leans forward to whisper in my ear, the hand around my waist moving up my back. “But he’s just too soft, too gentle. A proper lady such as yourself needs something a bit more… rough.”

My lips part slightly as he whispers into my ear before he pulls his head back. “And who’s to say I’d want something like that.” I respond lowly. “Oh, darling, I know how to read people…” Alastor’s grin somehow manages to grow wider, his hand on my chin starting to trail along my jawline. “...and I have a feeling that while Lucifer can please you, he can never truly satisfy you.”

I can’t help the shiver that runs down my spine and I mentally curse myself for it. Alastor chuckles lowly, feeling the way I shiver. “Mmm….I’m right, aren’t I? There’s something deep down inside you that’s unfulfilled. Like you’d enjoy something a little darker, a little rougher than what your King can give you.”

“And if you are right?” I question as I look up at him through slightly hooded eyes. Alastor slowly moves closer to me, his hand on my lower back pushing me forward so that my body presses against his.

My hands go up to grip his shoulders from how close we are. “Then I’d be more than happy to remedy that, my dear….” He says as he leans down so that his mouth is next to my ear again, his breath cold against my skin. “In every. Single. Way.”

My mind is fuzzy from his words as I battle between what is right verses what I so badly want. He slowly begins to trail his other hand down my body, his touch light and gentle. “There’s no need to fight it. No need to tell yourself it’s wrong…”

He then moves his head down to my neck, the touch of his lips cold against my skin. “Why not let yourself have the one thing you truly want…?” Fuck. Why do I want him so bad? Why does he have such an effect on me?

The feeling of Alastor’s lips on my skin is enough to make chills run down my spine. He slowly plants gentle kisses upon my neck, his other hand moving down to my hips as he keeps me tightly pressed against him.

My thoughts are broken as I feel another pair of hands wrap around my waist, trying to create distance between Alastor and I. Alastor lets out a growl, looking up to see Lucifer standing behind me.

Alastor’s grip on me tightens, making Lucifer scowl. “Let go of her.” My breathing is slightly heavier as my checks are completely flushed. Alastor grins, his eyes staring directly into Lucifer’s. “And if I don’t? What are you going to do, hmmm?”

“I won’t ask again. Let. Her. Go.” Lucifer’s hands tighten around my waist, wanting to pull me back. Alastor’s hands grip my hips harder in return, pulling me closer and causing our bodies to press against one another. “No. I don’t think I will.”

Their grips get increasingly tighter on my hips and waist as I glance between them. This is surprisingly very attractive. The two of them continue to pull me back and forth as they try to get me away from one another.

“I won’t keep playing this game with you. Let her go.” Lucifer’s voice has an edge to it this time making Alastor even more pleased. “Why should I? She’s so much more responsive with me than she ever is with you. She wants me, Lucifer, can’t you see that?”

“I want both of you.” I finally breathe out, making them both pause for a moment, processing my statement. They look at each other for a moment before their gazes are both on me. “Is that so?” Alastor purrs, raising an eyebrow.

“Please.” I say breathlessly as my hands grip tighter onto Alastor’s shoulder while I lean into Lucifer’s chest. Alastor and Lucifer both make a noise at my reaction, both of them obviously not expecting me to give in like this.

Lucifer’s voice is low and deep, his breath warm against my skin. “You know we aren’t fond of one another….” I repeat myself again, this time with a small whine. “Please.”

They share a look again before their grins match one another. Alastor chuckles lightly as he grabs my chin once more. “I suppose we could share you.” My eyes immediately meet Alastor’s own as my breath hitches.

Alastor grins, his hand slowly moving to wrap around my throat. “But I get to have you first, since I’m the one who got you all riled up in the first place.” I feel Lucifer grumble from behind me but he doesn’t object to it.

“What’s wrong, Lucifer? Can’t handle that you’re not the one who made her this excited?” “Shut up.” Lucifer snaps, glaring down at Alastor, who only laughs in response.

“Mmm, I don’t think I will.” Alastor says as he turns his attention back to me, his grip on my throat growing a little tighter. “Now, where should we start?”

“Bedroom.” I say quietly. “Mmm, good girl.” Alastor murmurs as he grabs my hand and begins to pull me in the direction of the bedroom. Lucifer is on our heels, practically seething as Alastor leads me away.

As soon as we get to Alastor’s room both of their hands are immediately back on me. Alastor grabs my throat as he begins to kiss me aggressively. As he’s doing this Lucifer moves his hands up my body, giving me small bites on my neck and shoulder.

Both of their touches make me shiver and I can’t stop the moans from escaping me. Alastor’s grip on my neck tightens as he pushes his tongue into my mouth, wanting to deepen the kiss.

Lucifer runs his tongue up my neck before lightly nipping my skin, his hands slowly moving to unzip my dress. Once my tongue meets Alastor’s, he explores my mouth eagerly. Lucifer gently pulls my dress down, his hands beginning to explore my body.

A small gasp leaves my mouth as one of Lucifer’s hands goes to massage my breast. All of these different sensations are already making my legs feel weak.

Alastor’s grasp on my neck finally loosens and he pulls away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting our mouths together. “Looks like she’s enjoying herself already.” He chuckles as he watches me, his eyes darkened with lust.

My hands immediately go towards Alastor’s shirt, working to unbutton it as I try to level my breathing. Alastor’s eyes watch my hands as I unbutton his shirt, the smirk on his face growing.

As my hands work fast to undo his shirt Lucifer’s free hand travels down to my clit, beginning to rub it in slow deliberate motions. My hands immediately pause from his touch as my legs shake slightly. “Fuck.” I groan out.

Alastor’s usually smile turns into a slightly more agitated expression as my hands stop moving. Alastor grabs my face, his grip a little too harsh, and forces me to look at him. “I didn’t say you could stop, did I?”

I shake my head as my hands continue to unbutton the last few buttons on his shirt. As I get to the last one Lucifer starts to move his fingers slightly faster making my breath hitch again.

Alastor’s hands move to my hips, gripping them tightly to keep me steady. “Watch it, Lucifer.” He grumbles as he watches me squirm in his grip. “I’m the one who gets her first remember?”

“I’m reminding you who’s more important, Alastor.” Lucifer says as he squeezes my breast, making a small moan escape my lips. Alastor scowls, not enjoying the fact that Lucifer is making me moan. “Keep touching her like that and you won’t be able to touch her at all, Lucifer.”

I whimper slightly as Lucifer’s hand stops moving. Alastor smirks a bit as he looks me up and down, his eyes dark and wanting. “Good girl…now finish removing my shirt.” He orders me.

My hands immediately go to take off his shirt, letting it drop to the ground. “There you go, such an obedient little thing.” Alastor murmurs as he leans down to my ear.

One of my hands goes to rub Lucifer’s growing erection through his pants as I reply to Alastor. “Mhm.” Alastor groans in response to me rubbing Lucifer, not enjoying the fact that I’m pleasing him and not himself. “You can stop doing that anytime now, darling.” He grumbles as he watches.

“But you’ve been getting all the attention.” I say as I look up at him through my eyelashes. “I said I wanted both of you.” Alastor growls lowly, the sound making chills run down my spine. “You’re a tease, darling…but I suppose I can’t fight you on that.” He says as he looks up at Lucifer.

Lucifer lets out a small moan as I continue to rub him. My other hand goes to travel up Alastor’s chest. Alastor shudders slightly, clearly enjoying that I’m touching him. This only annoys Lucifer more as he watches me continue to tease both of them.

Alastor’s eyes darken as more noises come out of Lucifer’s mouth. “If you want to please him so bad…” Alastor starts off before yanking me to be pressed up against his back. “Then feel free to continue but I get to please you as well.”

I can feel Alastor’s erection press up against me, making a whimper leave my lips. My hands make quick work of Lucifer’s shirt and pants, having them all on the floor in the blink of an eye. After pulling down his boxers I take his cock in my hand, pumping it back and forth.

A deep growl comes from Lucifer as he feels my hand on him, his eyes closing in pleasure. Alastor is watching us carefully, one of his hands on my hips slowly making its way down to my core.

My legs squeeze together slightly as Alastor teases my clit. Applying a feather light touch to it. My free hand grips onto Lucifer’s shoulder as I continue to pump him back and forth.

Alastor’s hand parts my legs away from each other before he starts to rub circles on my clit. A small moan escapes me from his touch, making me squeeze Lucifer’s cock slightly tighter.

This makes Lucifer let out a grunt as he throws his head back, seemingly enjoying the feeling of my hand around him. Alastor doesn’t enjoy it nearly as much, slipping a finger into me.

My hand stops moving as I feel Alastor’s finger move in and out of me. I begin to pant slightly from the feeling of his finger curving ever so slightly. “Fuck. More please.”

Alastor’s hand pauses for a moment. “What was that?” He asks as he waits for me to repeat myself again. He knows I will, and he just wants to hear me beg him. “No no no. Please don’t stop.”

“Why should I continue when your own hand has stopped moving for your dear boyfriend.” He chuckles. I let out a small whine before I continued pumping Lucifer, my thumb rubbing his tip every so often.

Both of them let out moans from my actions, though Alastor clearly wants to be the one to receive my attention. “Much better, good girl.” Alastor mutters, his praise making me shudder.

He inserts another finger before moving in and out of me again making me shutter. Lucifer rests his head in the crook of my neck, much to Alastor’s dismay.

“That’s enough.” Alastor says lowly as he notices how close Lucifer is to his own release. I remove my hand from cock as Alastor removes his fingers from me and pulls me towards the bed.

Alastor pushes me onto the bed, his eyes raking over my body, looking me up and down as he removes the rest of his clothes. Lucifer grumbles from being denied his release.

He ignores Lucifer entirely as he climbs on top of me, settling between my legs. “Keep your attention on me, darling.” He says as he looks down at me, his eyes burning with lust.

I nod my head as my arms immediately wrap around his neck. Alastor’s lips immediately attach themselves to mine, his tongue pushing past my lips so he can taste me. One of his arms holds him up over me while the other hand goes down to my hip, grabbing it and pulling me against him.

As soon as he has me where he wants he takes the hand on my hip to line himself up with my entrance. Alastor finally pulls his lips away from mine, panting heavily as he looks down at me.

He takes a moment to watch me in this state, loving the way his actions have affected me. “You ready, darling?” He asks, his voice low and rough with need.

I shake my head quickly. “Yes. Fuck please. I’m so ready.” That’s all he needs to hear as he roughly shoves himself into me, a loud moan escaping my lips. Even though the wave of pleasure rushing through me I can hear Lucifer’s breath hitch as he watches.

Alastor’s cock twitches inside of me as my walls tighten around him. He stays still for a moment letting me adjust to his size before he pulls himself all the way out, just to slam back into me.

“Yes. Fuck.” I moan out as I claw at his back. In the corner of my eye I see Lucifer begin to pump himself, making me even more aroused. Alastor groans as he feels my nails dig into his back, enjoying the feeling. He continues thrusting in and out at a steady pace, biting and leaving marks on my collarbone.

Eventually he pulls out of me, flipping me onto my stomach. His hand goes around my throat, making me stand up. “You’re being so good for me.” He murmurs in my ear before inserting himself once more.

I can’t help but gasp as he continually hits just the right spot. “Right there. Oh…” My hand goes to grab his thigh. “Right there don’t stop.” Alastor smirks, his fingers tightening slightly around your throat as he increases the pace, hitting that spot again and again.

Lucifer continues to pant, his hand pumping himself faster. “You better hurry up Alastor.” Lucifer grumbles out as he continues to watch him fuck me. Alastor just chuckles before turning his attention back to me.

My hand grips onto his thigh tighter as my legs begin to shake. He begins to pick up the pace, biting me harder on my neck. Not long after I feel myself reach my climax. Alastor’s hands grip onto my waist to steady myself.

He pulls out of me before helping me to sit down on the bed as I begin to pant heavily. Lucifer snarls as he sees how worked up I got from Alastor. “I hope you’re ready for round two cause we’re not done with you yet.”

I shiver at those words, my core clenching at the thought. Alastor steps slightly off to the side as Lucifer stands between my legs, lifting my chin up to look at him. All three of us are panting heavily, the air around us is charged with lust.

Lucifer looks down at me with such lust in his eyes it’s almost painful. “I think I’m long overdue for a turn with you.” He says, sending a quick glare towards Alastor.

My hands go up to grab his face as I pull him towards me for a kiss. He immediately captures my lips with his own, kissing me much more gently than Alastor had. Lucifer’s hands slide up and down my body, touching me as if I was fragile glass.

We break apart after a moment and he gently pushes me down onto the bed, pulling my hips so they’re at the edge of it. One of his hands grabs my calf and lifts it onto his shoulder as he moves closer to me.

A small look is shared between us before I nod, letting him know he can go ahead. He lines himself up with me, pushing in slowly as he lets me adjust.

I let out a small moan as he fully entered me. Lucifer smirks at the sound, starting to move his hips in a slow rhythm. Not long after he picks up the pace Alastor nears the bed again.

My eyes immediately glance over to him as he lifts one knee onto it, his cock hovering over me slightly. My hand goes up to grab it, pumping it at the same pace Lucifer is pushing into me with.

Alastor’s eyes close for a moment from the sensation before bucking his hips slightly in my grasp. Lucifer grumbles at this, picking up his own pace.

“Fuck.” I moan out, arching my back up slightly. “You’re doing so good.” Lucifer murmurs out, his own eyes closing from the pleasure. I lay my head back against the bed, still pumping Alastor. I feel him twitch and can tell he’s close to releasing.

Alastor’s breathing hitches, his hand reaching out to grab my wrist to stop me from pumping him. “No...not yet.” He grits out, his eyes locking onto mine.

I slowly release him from my grasp before one of Lucifer’s thrusts makes me gasp. I close my eyes for a moment, from the sensation, before they meet Lucifer’s.

His thrusts are starting to get a bit sloppier, giving me a sign that he’s close. Alastor watches with a gleam in his eye as Lucifer captures my lips into another kiss.

This time it’s hungrier, slightly more aggressive. After a few more thrusts he groans into the kiss as he climaxes. My hands run through his hair as he collapses slightly on top of me.

After a few moments he pulls out of me. I continue to lay on the bed, catching my breath once again. My eyes glance over to Alastor as he’s eyeing me with a hungry gaze.

He gives me a large smirk before making his way back in between my legs. “I hope you didn’t think I’d let him finish you off.” One of his hands teases my breast as he pushes into me, gentler this time.

With him so close to release I can understand why he’s not being as rough this time. He groans in pleasure, his eyes rolling back slightly. I gasp as he pulls me even closer to him by my hip.

He leans down to leave a trail of kisses along my neck and chest. As he continues to thrust into me my legs begin to shake slightly. I did not expect three fucking rounds. I whimper slightly feeling close to my climax again.

With every kiss, Alastor's grip on my waist tightens. He knows what he's doing to me and is relishing every moment of it. As I near my climax, he smirks in satisfaction before capturing my lips in a heated kiss.

My whole body shakes as I reach my climax. As soon as my body relaxes I can tell it pushed him just over the edge. Not a moment later he reaches his own climax. He stays inside of me until we’ve both completely regained ourselves.

Alastor pulls out of me before picking me up in his arms, placing me further onto the bed to let me get comfortable. After I settle into my spot he climbs in next to me, Lucifer following close behind.

I lie between the pair, completely sandwiched between them. Alastor’s arms are draped over my waist, his chin resting on top of my head, while Lucifer has his head resting on my chest.

“You can go now.” Lucifer mumbles as he glances towards Alastor. He raises an eyebrow in response. “This is my room.” Alastor counters as I sigh. To think they wouldn’t have anything more to argue about today.

“Well I rule over this whole ring so technically this land is mine. Making your room mine.” I can’t help but roll my eyes at his argument. “You’re just pissy cause I made your girlfriend cum twice and you couldn’t even get her to cum once.” Alastor immediately quips back stunning Lucifer for a moment.

Lucifer immediately sits up with a huff making me quickly drag him back down to lay on top of me. “Enough. Both of you. I’m tired, let me sleep.” They both give each other one more glance before quieting down.

[justwinginglife]

Part 2 of Three's A Crowd: Soshiro Hoshina Ending

I felt bad making just a Hoshina Edition so I will also be releasing a Gen Narumi Edition, and you can read both or you can pick whichever one you want to get with and just read that one- a lil choose your own adventure action, if you will.

And sorry in advance, both posts will be a lil angsty in the beginning. I mean you do have to break someone's heart, after all.

"Was I not... vocal enough about my feelings for you? Cuz I'll try again, I'll do it again, I'll do better." Gen says finally, after moments of silence.

You shake your head quickly, wincing at his words. "No, baby, no. That's not it. You were wonderful. You were amazing. I just don't want to string you along, and I've realized I have a stronger connection with Soshiro. It's nothing to do with you."

He bites his lip bitterly as his hands start to shake. "So he wins again, huh? That damn Hoshina."

You want to hug him but you know you have no right to touch him anymore. You knew it would end badly but you didn't know just how much it would hurt to see him so torn up like this. You had grown so very fond of him, but it didn't change the fact that you loved Soshiro deeper, more fiercely. It was better that it ended sooner rather than later.

"Gen, I had the most incredible time with you. I'll never forget it. And if I'd never met Soshiro, I know I would've married you. But as much as I don't want to hurt you, I can't ignore how I feel about him. If you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I will be eternally grateful, but if you don't, I will understand." You say it so simply even though it's anything but simple.

He nods to himself, looking down at the ground as he fidgets with the zipper on his jacket. "I know, love, I know. I signed up for this, I knew what I was getting myself into. I just really thought I'd win. Hurts. Well, I suppose I'll see myself out then." He gets up quickly and moves towards the door. Then he turns back to you, looking you over one more time, savoring every inch and every curve of you before finally sighing.

"I... I would've made you my whole world." The words come out so softly you think you might've imagined them, and then before you know it, he's gone.

You wonder if you'll ever see him again and if the next time you do see him, if maybe you could be friends. You hope he'll be happy, whatever he does from here on. Maybe in another lifetime you could've been the one to make him happy. But not in this one. In this one, you belong to Soshiro Hoshina and you intend to make good on that.

You greet Soshiro at his apartment, causing him to be pleasantly surprised at your visit. He always comes to you, you've only been to his apartment once before. But he welcomes you with a smile, stepping aside to let you in.

"To what do I owe the lovely pleasure, darling?"

Before he's even locked the door all the way, you wrap your arms around him, burying yourself deep into his chest. He lets out a content sigh and pulls you in closer to him.

"Someone's feeling clingy today." He teases. "But I love it."

You pull away just slightly so you can look him in the eye, though still holding onto him tightly. "I'm all yours baby."

He raises an eyebrow at you, trying to piece together what that means but then his eyes widen. "You... you dumped Narumi? You're all mine?"

You nod and he lets out the biggest sigh of relief.

"I don't know what I did today to deserve the best news of my entire life, but I'm so happy." With that, he lifts you up and carries you bridal style to his couch so he can cuddle you some more.

For a moment, he just sits there, tracing up and down your arm, and playing with your hair as he peppers you with random kisses here and there. But he can't sit still for long, he's like a giddy little schoolboy. He stands up suddenly and announces, "Alright we need to celebrate, you're coming with me, and we're going on the best date of your ENTIRE LIFE."

You giggle like you're a schoolgirl now and you watch as he grabs his car keys eagerly. He tosses them to you.

"Meet you at the car in five minutes, let me just throw something nicer on."

He kisses you deeply and then releases you, waving you off.

You wait at the car and sure enough, he's done in five minutes, having thrown together an outfit with significant speed so as to not keep you waiting long.

He opens the passenger door for you and helps you inside, kissing your hand several times before releasing it and shutting the door gently. Then he hops in the driver seat and, with the biggest goofiest grin on his face, exclaims "And we're off!"

He takes you for lunch at the first restaurant you ever went to with him and you appreciate his sense of nostalgia. He even buys you your favorite dessert afterwards.

Then he lets you roam free in a bookstore with a wad of cash to spend and while he did spend the first 10-15 minutes just gazing at you with pure love and affection as you excitedly perused the shelves, at some point he disappeared. You were at the check out stand, purchasing your stack of books when he arrived with a bouquet of flowers in hand, he'd seen someone selling them across the street and thought of you. Of course they were your favorite- white lilies.

"You know, the lady at the counter told me something." He said, pointing towards the flowers in your hand.

You inhaled deeply, breathing in the sweet scent. "What did she say, baby?"

He wraps his arm around your waist, carrying your bag of books for you as he walks you back to his car. "She said white lilies symbolize pure love. And I thought it was just perfect for you."

You lean into him as you walk. "You're such a romantic. It's adorable."

He laughs. "Only when I'm around you, love. You make me want to do the cheesiest shit, I can't help it."

He takes you to a festival next, he knows you've always wanted to go to one of these things. Though his combat power is low with a gun, he can still shoot one, and he wins you a stuffed animal at a game booth. It's got cute fluffy black hair and you name it Soshiro and give it a kiss on top of its head.

"Hey, me next!" He pulls you in for a kiss and you oblige.

Then, as you watch the sunset together, he snuggles up next to you and feeds you snacks he bought, saying it's so cute how much you can eat.

Darkness falls and fireworks start to paint the sky. You watch them in awe, transfixed by all the colors and patterns that are now dotting the night sky. He doesn't watch a single one, he's too busy looking at you. He smiles, brushing a strand of hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear before giving you a kiss on the cheek. When the fireworks finally quiet down, he rises from the bench and you think it might be time to go home but then he gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring box that he's been hiding all day.

"My love. Darling. Light of my life. I cannot tell you just how happy you have made me by being mine but I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to. It is the greatest joy to be by your side and I don't want to waste a single second, will you please marry me and let me stay by your side?"

You lean forward and kiss his forehead. "Until death do us part?"

He shakes his head. "No baby, even death couldn't keep me from you. I'd find you in the afterlife, in another reincarnation, in whatever awaits, I'd find you and make you mine. Please say you'll allow me this great pleasure."

You smile warmly at him. "Of course I will."

He eagerly slips the ring on your finger and you laugh as he almost drops it trying to get it on quickly.

"Someone's in a hurry." You tease.

"Of course I am. I've been waiting my entire life for you."

[blogthebooklover]

I'll Never See Him Again (Mae)

Author's Note: Here's the one from Mae's perspective, once again inspired by Disney's Pocahontas. This is also available on Wattpad. I've included three human OCs for this one shot! I also snuck two familiar names from Supernatural, however, it is not the beloved characters exactly lol. This is also my first time writing a character who is nonbinary/genderfluid/androgynous; and the character uses they/them pronouns. I did my absolute best to be as respectful as I could. I also apologize in advance if there is any indication of negative stereotypes, because that was not the intention.

They took him.  Her human companions took Noa.  All because he wanted to see her again.  Mae dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands.  She was only trying to help rebuild the human race, under the direction of her leader.  On her mission, the only ones to show any sort of empathy and compassion to her, were the evolved orangutan and chimpanzee.  So soon after the deaths of her team.  

Her affiliation and alliance with them during that time, created the beginning of a conflict within herself.  The girl raised a hand to her neck, and pulled out the medallion of Caesar.  The last connection to Raka as well.

It was Noa’s gift to her to reflect on their time and her grief.

And it was the first one that wasn’t given to her by her parents or friends.

She felt tears stream down her cheeks as she clasped the medallion in her hands.  Mae did not consider herself to be spiritual or religious, she remembered her history lessons about the past 200-300 years and before.  How humans always had conflicts regarding religion and science.  However, whomever this Caesar was to the apes, she prayed silently to him.  She went down on her knees, still clasping the necklace in her hand.  The young woman prayed for Noa’s safety.

Her silent prayer was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps coming down the hall.  It was a former classmate of hers, from her history lessons as a child.  That’s right, they went by Gem now and presented as androgynous.  “Mae,” they said, crouching down to the girl’s level, “are you all right?”  

“No, I’m not,” the girl replied, “they took my…my friend.”   

“That monkey?”

“He’s an ape, not a monkey.”

“Sorry,” Gem muttered, “is he…the one you mentioned on your journey above?”

Mae nodded, sucking in her lips to keep from crying again, “All this happened because he helped me, and I…I almost killed him…Twice.  And now…I don’t know what our commanding officers will do to him.  Either keep him for experiments or kill him.”  “He was already outside the bunker, Mae,” Gem explained calmly, placing their hand on Mae’s shoulder, “he had a weapon on him.”

“Merely for protection,” Mae argued, “I’ve seen it for myself.”  Gem bit the inside of their cheek, thinking about the next thing to say.  

“Forgive me, but were you praying just now?” they raised an eyebrow toward her.  Mae decided she couldn’t lie anymore and nodded her head in response.  “I don’t recall you being the religious type.”  Mae felt a small smile tug at the corners of her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes, “Perhaps I did so for my friend’s sake.”

Gem’s head shot up quickly, they had an idea.  “C’mon, I know what to do.”

X.X.X.X.X.X.

An hour later, Gem and Mae walked down the hallway deep inside the bunker.  The two came upon a laboratory the scientists and doctors used for research, as well as an infirmary.  Two guards, who were also former classmates from Mae’s history lessons, stood watch over the entrance of the lab.  Gem greeted the two, giving each a nod, “Dean, Sam.”  The two returned the greeting. 

“Mae wishes to speak to the prisoner,” Gem explained sternly, maintaining strong eye contact with their former classmates.  “On what grounds?” Dean asked, placing his hands on his hips.  Mae bit her lip, thinking up any lie she could to get into the lab to see Noa.  Then it hit her, “I have some questions for him.”

“The general already interrogated the prisoner,” explained Sam, reciting it like he had memorized the words from a textbook.  Gem and Mae exchanged a quick glance with each other.  “He sent me to conduct further questions,” Mae lied, sensing the subtle change in the atmosphere.  She secretly hoped the two guards bought the lie.  

It was Dean who caved in, “Be quick, they might return at any moment.”  He turned around and punched in the key code for the door.

He stepped to the side to let Mae through.  The young woman glanced over her shoulder to Gem, offering them a small smile in thanks.  Gem returned it in kind.  Mae inhaled a deep breath, and stepped through the door.  

X.X.X.X.X.X.

Mae walked into the lab and glanced around for any sign of Noa.  It was dimly lit and there was the low hum of the computers.  Her blue eyes widened slightly when she eventually found him.  

They placed Noa in a cage.

His back was turned to her, he was hunched over and she could see he was hugging himself tightly.  Mae walked slowly over to the young ape, when she was in front of the cage, she crouched down to his level.  She reached out her hand slowly to him, debating on whether to touch his shoulder.  Regardless of his cognitive abilities being so close to humans, he was still an animal.  

And just like humans, animals did not belong in cages.

She lowered her hand and called out softly to him, “Noa?”  The young ape perked up at the sound of her voice, and glanced over his shoulder.  When he saw it was her, he turned around fully to face her.  Noa locked his golden jade eyes with her own sky blue ones.  It was the same expression he had given her, when her human companions took him away.  It was also the same one he had that day, when she aimed her pistol at Proximus Caesar.  A silent plea.

“Mae,” he whispered, reaching his hand through the bars.  She took hold of it with both of hers.  The young woman noticed how huge just his one hand was between her own.  She felt tears well up again in her eyes.  The ape took notice of her tears, reaching up his free hand and softly brushing his knuckles against her cheek to wipe them away.  He cupped her face with that same hand and she leaned into it.

There was only one thing that was on her mind.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For getting you placed here.  For lying to you.  For…for almost killing you and your clan.”

Noa’s eyes widened slightly at this, this time she was sure he could read the sincere truth in her eyes.  “Mae…” he couldn’t find the words to respond to her.  However, there was one way.  The hand cradling her cheek gently pulled her closer, as best as he could from the bars, he placed his forehead against hers.  She breathed a shuddering exhale against his lips.  She felt the emblem of Caesar brush against his chest.    

 The young chimp inhaled through his nostrils, she briefly wondered if he had picked up her scent.  “I am sorry, too,” Noa whispered, “I should not…have come here.  But I am glad…I did.”  Mae pulled back slightly to look at him, biting her lower lip, debating on what to say next to him.  “Maybe…it would’ve been better if we never met,” she said , choosing her words as carefully as she could.  However, she doubted the chimpanzee in front of her believed her words.  He was too intelligent for that, briefly recalling their conversation in Trevethan’s room, and what was supposed to be their farewell outside of his village.

“I do not regret it,” Noa breathed against her lips, “I see you…as my friend.”

Mae felt more tears well in her eyes, she felt Noa’s thumb gently stroking her cheek, brushing away the ones that fell.  In the distance, she heard the door to the lab open and Gem calling out, “Mae, we have to go.”

The young woman sighed sadly, nodding her head so slowly it was hard to tell.  Noa noticed it, though.  “You must go,” he whispered, letting go of her face, “your clan is coming.”  Mae locked eyes with the male chimp once more, “Noa…”  “You will always be my friend,” he whispered, she noticed there were tears welling in his golden jade eyes.  He took a gentle hold of the medallion between them, “Important.”  She let her tears fall like the last time he said that word. 

She stood up, the move forcing Noa to release the necklace, she still had a hold on to his large hand.  She briefly glanced down at their entwined hands, noticing how small hers was compared to the chimpanzee’s.  The young woman reluctantly let go of the ape’s hand, which was still in the air reaching out to her.  Mae turned away slowly, walking toward the door to the hall.

When the door shut behind her, she could hear Noa release a feral screech of pain and sadness.  She could also hear the banging of the bars, she darkly imagined he was throwing his whole body at them.  Mae rolled her fingers into fists, clenching so tight her knuckles turned white, to keep from releasing more tears again.

[nausicaamusiclover20]

Pt3

Where did you sleep last night?

The days blur together after I leave James behind in the cold, silent night. Each one is heavy with a suffocating emptiness, yet I force myself to keep going. Every hour feels like a battle against the memories that claw at the edges of my mind—his smile, the way his laughter used to light up a room, the warmth of his arms when the world felt too big. I hate myself for missing those moments because now they feel like lies, fractured pieces of something I'll never get back.

The nights are the worst. Lying awake, staring at the ceiling, I can still feel the ghost of his presence. But I remind myself of the betrayal, the sting of his words, and the image of his regretful face under the streetlights. I hold onto the pain because it's all I have left. And yet, somewhere deep inside, I wonder if he's feeling it too.

James sits on the edge of his bed, the same bed that now feels like a foreign place. The sheets are cold, the silence of the house deafening. He hasn't slept properly in days, haunted by the look on my face as I turned and walked away. The realization of what he's done consumes him like a slow, cruel burn.

He reaches out instinctively, his hand brushing the empty space beside him. It feels wrong. The bed's too big without her, and the coldness is unbearable. He stares at the ceiling, his chest aching, and for the first time in years, he cries. The tears come without warning, hot and relentless, streaming down his face as the weight of his mistakes crashes over him.

"I ruined everything," he whispers into the silence, his voice breaking. "I lost her."

Memories flood his mind, unrelenting. The way she used to laugh at his dumb jokes, the way she'd curl up against him on the couch, her head on his chest as we watched movies. The quiet moments where no words were needed, where just being together was enough. Those memories cut deeper than anything, a cruel reminder of what he threw away.

When the knock came late one evening, I almost didn't answer it. I was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, my eyes puffy from crying. But something made me stand, my feet moving of their own accord. When I opened the door, the sight of James hit me like a tidal wave.

He stood there, his shoulders hunched against the cold, his face pale and tear-streaked. His eyes were bloodshot, rimmed with dark circles, and he looked utterly broken. He clutched a crumpled piece of paper in one trembling hand, but it was the expression on his face that shattered me. He looked like a man drowning, reaching out for a lifeline he didn't think he deserved.

"Y/n," he choked out, his voice hoarse and raw. "Please... I need to talk to you."

I froze, my hand tightening on the doorframe. Seeing him hurt, and I hated that it did. Hated that part of me wanted to reach out, to touch his face and tell him everything would be okay. But it wouldn't be okay. Not after what he'd done.

"There's nothing left to say," I said, my voice cold and flat. "You made your choice, James."

"I know," he said, his voice trembling, "but I—I can't do this. I can't be without you. I don't deserve for you to listen, but I'm begging you. Please. Please let me explain."

His words cracked something inside me, the raw desperation in them cutting through my defenses. Against my better judgment, I stepped aside, letting him in. He hesitated before walking in, as if afraid to cross the threshold. The air between us was thick with tension, the silence oppressive as we stood facing each other.

"I haven't slept since you left," he began, his voice trembling. "I haven't eaten. I can't—I can't function, Y/n. Every time I close my eyes, I see your face. And it kills me, because I know I did that. I'm the one who put that look in your eyes."

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold myself together. "You're right. You did. And now you're here, what? To tell me you're sorry? To beg for forgiveness? Do you think that'll make it better?"

He flinched, tears slipping down his cheeks. "No," he said, his voice breaking. "Nothing I say can fix what I did. But I need you to know... I love you, Y/n. I've always loved you. And losing you—it's tearing me apart."

"Don't you dare say you love me," I spat, my voice rising. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have done this. You wouldn't have lied to me, made me feel like a fool while you were with her!"

"I know," he whispered, his voice cracking. "God, I know. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for hurting you, for betraying you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if you'll let me. Just... please, tell me there's still a chance."

I shook my head, my throat tightening. "You don't get it, do you? It's not just about the cheating. You broke something in me, James. You made me question everything—whether I was enough, whether I was ever enough. I don't know if I can come back from that."

His face crumpled, and he dropped to his knees, the paper in his hand falling to the floor. "You were more than enough," he sobbed. "You were everything. I'm the one who wasn't enough—for you, for us. I let my insecurities, my stupidity, ruin the best thing that ever happened to me. Please, Y/n. Please don't let this be the end of us."

His words hit me like a hammer, the raw emotion in them making my chest ache. I wanted to stay angry, to hold onto my pain, but seeing him like this—broken and desperate—it made it harder to keep the walls around my heart intact.

"What is this?" I asked, picking up the crumpled paper.

"It's... everything I couldn't say before," he whispered. "Everything I've been too much of a coward to tell you."

I unfolded the paper, my hands trembling. His handwriting was shaky, the words uneven and raw. He'd poured his heart out in the letter, confessing his love, his regret, his desperation to make things right. By the time I finished reading, tears were streaming down my face.

"Y/n," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know that. But I'll spend every day trying to earn it if you'll let me."

I looked at him, my heart breaking all over again. "I don't know if I can forgive you, James," I said, my voice trembling. "You hurt me in ways I didn't think were possible. But... I need time."

His shoulders sagged with relief, tears spilling down his cheeks as he nodded. "Take all the time you need. I'll wait. For as long as it takes."

As he left, the door closing softly behind him, I clutched the letter to my chest. My heart was torn between the love I still felt and the pain he'd caused, but for the first time in days, I felt a flicker of something else—hope. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

It had been a week since James showed up at my door, broken and pleading. His words replayed in my mind like an unrelenting echo, threading through every quiet moment. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to earn it."

I'd tried to push it all away, bury the memories under the crushing weight of his betrayal. But the harder I tried, the more they surfaced—his laughter ringing in my ears, his touch a phantom against my skin. The scent of his cologne, still faintly clinging to the blanket I had refused to wash, became my undoing. It was him, everywhere and nowhere all at once.

The nights were the worst. They stretched endlessly, the silence pressing down on me like a weight. I missed the sound of his even breathing beside me, the way he'd pull me closer in his sleep, murmuring soft words against my hair. I missed the mornings when he'd nudge me awake with that lopsided grin, calling me "babe" in that warm, teasing voice. God, I missed him—more than I wanted to admit.

But the pain wasn't gone. It sat in my chest, heavy and unrelenting, a reminder of the trust he had shattered. You don't fool me anymore. I had said those words to him, and I meant them. But now, the ache of missing him felt unbearable, like I was trying to breathe with half my heart missing.

It was late, the moonlight casting long shadows across my apartment, when I gave up pretending I could keep going like this. I threw off the blanket and stood, my heart pounding as I grabbed my coat. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that I couldn't stay away anymore. The weight of the silence, the void of his absence—it was too much.

The streets were quiet as I made my way to his house, the night air biting at my skin. I told myself I was just going to talk, to find some kind of closure. But deep down, I knew the truth. I missed him. I missed him in a way that felt like my soul was aching, like the part of me that had been whole only existed with him.

When I reached his door, I hesitated, my hand hovering just above the wood. My heart was racing, a war raging inside me between my hurt and my love for him. Before I could overthink it, I knocked.

The sound of hurried footsteps on the other side made my breath catch. The door opened, and there he was, his eyes widening in shock. He looked just as wrecked as the night he had come to me—maybe worse. His hair was disheveled, his shirt rumpled, and his eyes... they were filled with so much raw emotion that it made my chest tighten.

"Y/n?" he whispered, his voice cracking.

I didn't give him a chance to say more. Before I could second-guess myself, I stepped forward, closing the distance between us. His arms flew around me, pulling me close, and he buried his face against my shoulder.

"Oh my God," he breathed, his voice trembling. "You're here. You're really here."

His body shook against mine, and I realized he was crying. His sobs were quiet but full of so much relief, so much pain, that they broke something inside me. I felt his tears soaking into my coat as he clung to me like I might vanish if he let go.

"I thought I'd lost you," he choked out. "I thought you'd never—oh, God, Y/n."

His grip tightened, his arms trembling as he held me, and I felt something shift in my chest. The anger and hurt were still there, but they were softened by the overwhelming love I still felt for him. I hated him for what he'd done, but I couldn't hate the way he made me feel like I was home, even now.

"I couldn't stay away," I whispered, my own voice thick with emotion. "I tried, James. I really tried. But I—" My voice broke, and the tears I'd been holding back finally spilled over. "I missed you."

He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands cupping my face as he stared into my eyes. His thumbs brushed away my tears, even as his own continued to fall.

"I don't deserve this," he said, his voice raw and filled with anguish. "I don't deserve you. But I swear, Y/n, I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can be better. I'll never hurt you again. I'll never give you a reason to doubt me."

I searched his face, my heart pounding in my chest. I saw the guilt there, the pain, but most of all, I saw the love—the same love that had once made me feel like I was the center of his world. And despite everything, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that we could find our way back to what we used to be.

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy," I said, my voice trembling. "I'm not saying I can forgive you right away. But I—" I took a shaky breath, my hands clutching his shirt. "I want to try."

The relief that flooded his face was like a sunrise breaking through the darkness. He let out a shuddering breath, his forehead pressing against mine as he whispered, "Thank you. Thank you, Y/n. You have no idea what this means to me."

He pulled me back into his arms, holding me so tightly it was almost hard to breathe, but I didn't care. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I could finally exhale. His warmth surrounded me, his familiar scent wrapping around me like a comfort I hadn't realized I'd been craving.

"I missed you so much," he murmured against my hair. "The bed's been so cold without you. The house—it's been so empty. I've been so empty, Y/n. You're my everything."

His words melted the last of my defenses, and I let myself sink into his embrace, my tears soaking into his shirt. For now, it was enough. The hurt wasn't gone, but it was quieter, drowned out by the love that still lingered between us.

As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, I felt the first flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to piece ourselves back together. It wouldn't be easy. It wouldn't be perfect. But for the first time, I felt like it was possible.

And that was enough.

[gemstone-roses]

I’ve really enjoyed your Hannibal fics and I was wondering if y could do one with fem reader when Hannibal and them get in a argument and he tries to woo her with gifts and stuff but it doesn’t work so he sets up like a really cute picnic or something xx thank you 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Hi! Thankyou so much! I enjoy writing them!

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff, kissing.

Reblogs and comments much appreciated thankyou🥺

He realises he's fucked up about three seconds after the door shuts, he steadies himself on the counter.

He can't even remember what you had been arguing about, but he remembers the moment the words left his lips before he could stop himself.

And your reaction hurt him the most.

You didn't yell, you didn't shout, scream, tell him he went too far, you just calmly said,

"Well then, I think I'll go now".

There's no attitude in your words, no sarcasm, no fight.

And hannibal realises then he's really done it.

He hesitates to call, it takes everything in him not to pick up the phone but he knows its what you need.

He starts with flowers. They appear on your desk, they are far too grand for you to feel comfortable displaying them, and he knows that, but he's not thinking with all his usual consideration right now.

He knows the gifts he's been sending probably didn't go down well, because your still not talking to him.

He even saw you pour the coffee he had left for you down the sink.

Deep down hannibal knew buying you gifts to apologise would never work, so when his mind has cleared slightly, he can think a bit clearer, he knows exactly what to do.

Instead of finding a gift at your desk today, you found a note. Handwriting out of a fairytale, you knew it was from hannibal.

It said to meet him on the top of the hill you'd spent your summer evenings on.

You loved it, there was a single cherry blossom tree at the top, and when the wind blew and the petals fell, you felt serene up there.

You walk the path up to the hill, your mood towards hannibal had long gone, you were just waiting for him to come -with a bit of grovelling- back to you.

You reached the top of the hill and hannibal stood from the blanket he'd laid out and walked towards you.

"Hi darling" he whispers, relief washing over him, because you showed up.

"Hi" you smile.

"I, I made some food, your favourite" he smiles and you think you might melt because here is hannibal, tripping over his words, apologising.

"Ooh, good, I'm starving" you laugh.

Hannibal wraps his arm around your waist, tenativley.

You lean into his embrace and he holds you tighter.

"Im sorry" he kisses the top of your head.

"I know" you say

"Truly, I should not have said what I did, and I hope you can forgive me" he says, his hand stroking up and down your side.

"Hannibal, we've all said something we shouldn't have done at one time or another, myself included" you assured him.

"I know but- "it still leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be" you say. And hannibal smiles. He ushers you to sit down and grabs a bottle of your favourite sparkling drink.

"Here darling" he offers you a glass and you stretch your legs out on the blanket.

"Thankyou, this is beautiful". You whisper, tilting your head back to look up at the canopy of the cherry blossom tree.

"Much better than that horrendously over the top bouquet you sent me" you jibe at him, hannibal leans back with you and laughs.

"Sorry about that" he says, and he leans his head forward just a tiny bit as if to indicate he really is sorry. You place your free hand on his chin, placing your drink down behind you.

You lean into him, catching his lips in a kiss. Hannibal props himself up so he's able to grasp your face with his hands.

He kisses you like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

He breaks the kiss eventually, leaving you breathless.

"The food is going cold" he whispers, hand running across your jaw.

Finally, hannibal hands you a plate of the food, smiling.

"Thankyou, you say" the stunning picnic he's put together warming your heart, and hannibal, is forgiven.

[noahsresources]

HURT / COMFORT STATEMENTS THAT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS

pardon me please, i'm just having a moment. possible tw for suicidal ideation and references to death and loss. bonus points for specifying a scenario!

from those who are struggling. ❝ i never thought i'd ever make it this far. ❞ ❝ ... when were you going to tell me about this? ❞ ❝ i don't ever want you to die. please ... don't die ... ❞ ❝ we had our whole lives planned out. ❞ ❝ i just can't, it's too much. it's too fucking much. ❞ ❝ losing him/her/them was the cruelest thing i've ever experienced. ❞ ❝ people say things like, 'you're going green with envy', or 'there's smoke coming out of your ears'. you think they'd come up with a statement like that that describes someone who's in constant pain like this ... ? ❞ ❝ sometimes you need to make room for grief. make time for it. embrace it. it's all i've been doing as of late. ❞ ❝ how is it possible to hurt this much when nothing's wrong? ❞ ❝ drowning in sadness is more fulfilling than drowning in pleasure these days. ❞ ❝ it's hard to let go of the fact that i'm probably going to outlive everyone else in my life. ❞ ❝ i've already lost everything near and dear to my heart. everything except for you. ❞ ❝ i'm just so tired. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. ❞ ❝ i was so close to giving up once. ❞ ❝ i don't want him/her/them to die alone. i'd never forgive myself. ❞ ❝ please, don't go ... i just need to feel your arms around me ... ❞ ❝ there's a reason why i hide my emotions locked in a metal cage so deep in my heart. it's so i won't get hurt like this again. ❞ ❝ i've always had to deal with these kinds of things alone. i don't need your help. ❞ ❝ it was my fault. i did this to him/her/them ... ❞ ❝ i can't even see my future anymore. i don't want to. ❞ ❝ there's no way i could possibly be this important to you. ❞ ❝ if i lose him/her/them, then there'll be nothing else for me to live for. ❞ ❝ i don't see a point anymore. in going on, i mean. ❞ ❝ time won't slow down. it never does. i had to learn that the hard way early on. ❞ ❝ go away ... please, just go away. ❞

from those offering support. ❝ ... i'm sorry. i'm so, so fucking sorry that you had to lose him/her/them. ❞ ❝ it wasn't your fault. you did everything you could. ❞ ❝ just remember they'll always be in your heart. ❞ ❝ i don't know what to say to make you feel better, but ... i'm here for you, if that means anything. ❞ ❝ believe it or not ... i know how you feel. i've been through this exact same thing. ❞ ❝ he/she/they loved you. he/she/they loved you so much. trust me ... i know. ❞ ❝ you're not alone. i promise you, you're not alone. ❞ ❝ don't worry, i'll stay. i'm not going anywhere. ❞ ❝ you've been through so much ... be kind to yourself. please. ❞ ❝ it's okay to cry. you don't have to hide your emotions around me. ❞ ❝ you don't have to talk to me. hell, you don't even have to look at me. but, please ... give me a sign that you're hearing what i have to say. ❞ ❝ please ... don't tell me that you'd choose to spend eternity up there with him/her/them over an eternity with me ... ❞ ❝ you're grieving. it's an understandable reaction. but you should rest. you've been overexerting yourself far too much lately. ❞ ❝ the man/woman/person who you lost, who loved you ... he/she/they wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. ❞ ❝ crying is your body's way of telling you that you've been keeping everything in for way too long. so let it out. you're safe here. ❞ ❝ sadness is like an ocean. sometimes we drown in it, but other times, we're forced to swim in it. ❞ ❝ as long as i'm here, you'll never not have anyone ever again. ❞ ❝ i hope you know that you can talk to me about anything at all. share anything you need to get off your chest. i'm here for you. ❞ ❝ love is often felt the most in your favorite memories. honor him/her/them by remembering all the happiness he/she/they gave you. ❞ ❝ if you don't feel strong right now, then you don't have to be strong. it's okay to be vulnerable, weak, scared, and sad. ❞

[bimbo-baggins17]

i didnt proofread of anything but i had a random burst of inspo and i came up with this for this beautiful 16th day of knock anakin up november (i came up with this today)

_____

“You’re such a cute momma,” you mumbled against Anakin’s lips as he turned his face to kiss you, shifting on your lap lightly to make himself comfortable. One of his hands kept yours over his belly, loving the protective feeling of your touch on his baby bump.

Anakin’s cheeks turned a pretty pink at your words, and he couldn’t help but smile, a giddy feeling bubbling up in his chest at the sweetest compliments coming from his loved one. “Am I, now?” He batted his eyelashes exaggeratedly while observing you. “And here I thought I was just a whiny, hormonal mess,” he quoted you, ignoring the scoff he earned in response, burying his face in the crook of your neck instead.

“Well, you are a whiny, hormonal mess. That doesn’t cancel out being cute,” you said with a chuckle, tracing the stretchmarks along his pretty tummy.

Anakin immediately pulled away with an indignant scoff. “Hey, that’s not very nice!” He protested despite the smile that tugged on his lips. “This little one in here just knows how to push all my buttons.” He glanced down at his baby bump. “But still! Hmph! See if I tell you the next time the baby kicks.” Anakin grumbled and turned his face away in a poor attempt to sulk. “I’ll just keep those special moments to myself, thank you very much.”

Of course, he would. “Oh, poor me.” You leaned back against the armchair with an amused smile after kissing a spot behind his ear. “You’re so cruel, sweetheart, I don’t know how I will survive that. I might as well die already,” you teased dramatically.

Anakin snorted, halfheartedly swatting at your chest. “Oh, you’ll manage,” he replied airily, trying to maintain the posture despite the grin that threatened to tug on his lips. “You’re far too stubborn to let that get you down.” He tried to peek at you, sure that he was having an effect. “Besides, I’m sure you’ll find a way to make me forgive you.”

When Anakin glanced at you, you were ignoring him. The audacity! “Well, fine, then!” Anakin huffed, crossing his arms over his swollen belly. “You’ll never feel the little kicks again.” He turned his face away and pointed his nose high in the air to show his indifference, which would be perfect if it weren’t for how his lips twitched with a smile that threatened to cross his face. “Hmph. Guess I'll just have to find someone else to appreciate my cuteness,” Anakin declared dramatically, even as he peeked at you from the corner of his eye. “Someone who knows how to show a pregnant momma the love and attention she deserves.”

The act dropped when Anakin was faced with a smug look on your face this time, a deep crimson tone taking over his cheeks when he noticed that he’d been caught. “Oh, you!” Anakin whined. “You knew exactly what I was doing, didn’t you?” He looked at you through his lashes, bottom lip jutting out. “I can’t believe you’d ignore your sweet, pregnant momma like that! What kind of (momma/papa) are you, hm?”

A sigh escaped your lips, and fighting back a smile of endearment wasn’t easy. “Poor momma,” you said, pulling him closer. “So pregnant, so sensitive, so needy.” You kissed his temple softly, and he melted into your embrace, pulling your hand to his baby bump again.

“Mmph, feels amazing,” Anakin mumbled, burying his face in the crook of your neck once more. “My pretty (momma/papa) takes such good care of their needy momma, right?” He smiled softly.

I love you SO much for this and I really wanted to gatekeep it but it deserves to be enjoyed by more. Giving you a forehead kiss bc I’m gonna be thinking about this for a loooooong time now

[a1307s]

Flickers of Green #1

(Dick Grayson & Jason Todd)

[Art is not mine! Credit to jjmk-jjmk]

Requested by: quirkyshortdumbo11

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

H/C: Hair Color

E/C: Eye Color

Word Count: 6,297

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Implement of rape

Mentions of Death/Blood

Cursing

———————————————————————

     No, no, no, no, no! I rush through the rubble, pushing through every and anything in my way. After six months of searching, six months of watching the Joker beat them, six months of watching what he's done to her, six months of nothing but them in my thoughts they can't be in here. Jason can't be in there. Y/N can't be in there. They can't be dead because of me.

     My lungs scream as I breathe in the ash and smoke, but I can't let it stop me. I have to find them. I have to find my robins. I have to find my robins alive.

     Despite my pleas to all the gods I don't believe in, I don't get them answered. I push over part of the fallen ceiling, my worst nightmares coming alive once I get it moved. Jason is curled up around Y/N, clinching her to his chest, even in death. Their blood mixes, soaking into their suits, into the rumble, and Y/N's beautiful hair. The same beautiful hair I tied a bow into the last morning I saw her.

     "Master Bruce?" Alfred calls through the coms. "Progress report?" His voice cracks at the second word, squeezing my heart even more.

     "I've... they've been located." I'll never forgive myself for this, but Dick's grudge against me will still last longer.

—————————

     I don't even know why I agreed to this. I swore off Batman, Gotham, fucking Bruce two years ago. Yet, here I am, looking over the stupid citizens of Gotham as he licks his wounds. I know why I'm doing it; because Alfred asked, because Alfred didn't want Bruce on patrol with an injury, because I can't say no to Alfred.

     Bruce's newest Robin is perched up on the ledge next to me as he rattles on about something. I don't know what he's saying or even care. I know I shouldn't hate the kid; Bruce's actions aren't his fault but what the fuck Bruce? Jason and... their blood wasn't even shed yet, and Bruce had replaced them. Replaced them with this kid that won't fucking shut up. "A part of being stealthy is being quiet," I hiss out, my words dipped in venom more than I intended them to.

     "Oh, right, sorry," Tim mumbles, obeying orders and falling silent. I close my eyes before taking a few deep breaths, making sure to exhale slowly to calm myself. "Nightwing-"

     "Quiet," I hiss again, trying to focus on my breathing so I don't misplace any more of my anger onto this kid.

     "Ya, I know, but-"

     "Robin! What? What's so important?" I bark at him, snapping my eyes open and turning towards him.

     "I think there's someone following the lady down there," he whispers, pointing towards the sidewalk across from us.

     "What?" I ask, snapping my eyes towards the direction he's pointing. He's right, a younger-looking woman is walking down the street, her skirt flowing around her legs as she walks, her long dress coat doing the same. Hidden in the shadows a couple steps behind the girl is a big figure. They slither behind the girl, making sure to keep pace with them. "I'm going to investigate, you stay up here as backup," I mumble, getting to my feet as I think of how to sneak up on the stalker.

     "Yes, Sir!" Tim chirps, skirring to his feet to follow me along the rooftops.

     "Don't call me sir," I order, before letting myself fall from the roof we've been perched on. I land gently on my feet, standing up to glance around, keeping track of the shadows and which ones will be best to hide in.

     "Yes, Si- er - Nightwing," Tim starts over the coms before correcting himself. "What's the plan?"

     The plan is to get it through the citizens of Gotham's heads not to walk around the streets at night. "I'm going to follow them on ground level in case the suspect makes any rash movements. You follow along on the rooftops. Make sure to stay silent and keep pace. Do not move unless I say so."

     "Okay," Tim mumbles, pokes of his red suit coming in and out of view as he creeps along the ledges. I keep myself engulfed in shadows stretching out from the walls.

     "Once the lady is safe somewhere I'll take action to get this guy off the street. Got it?"

     "Got it," he calls over the coms again, ducking behind a vent as he waits for me to catch up a bit. So much for staying on pace. Despite Tim's eager steps, I stay parallel to the subjects, the only thing suppurating us is the thin street. Or at least I do until the lady turns around a corner.

     Her stalker follows, the corner streetlight exposing him for a second as he jumps between shadows. He's a bigger guy, easily over six feet and having anywhere from fifty to seventy-five pounds on me. It's impressive that he manages to stay hidden so well. Almost Batman impressive. From the glimpse I got, I also managed to see a red helmet covering his face which doesn't help me much to identify the culprit.

     "That's not good," Tim mumbles over the intercom, his voice laced with worry. "That's the Red Hood."

     "Red Hood? Is that the crime lord that's been piling up bodies faster than the Joker?" I whisper back, annoyance filling me up. So much for Alfred's 'it should be an easy night' speech.

     "Ya, that's the one," he answers, the worry only building up more in his tone. I stay tucked on the corner of the street, making sure this Red Hood guy isn't looking before I dart across the street. I make quick - but silent - paces as I sneak up on him. I need to jump in before this lady becomes his next victim.

     "Are you in place?" I ask, glancing up for a quick second to make sure the sidekick made it across the street too.

     "Yes."

     "Okay, change of plans, we can't wait this out and act later." Tim stays silent, waiting for my orders. "The next alley we pass, I'm going to pull him into it to take him down. The lady will scurry off as I handle it. As she's running off you tail her and make sure she gets somewhere safe, got it?"

     The line stays silent for a while before Tim's voice peeps up, "Yes, sorry, got it. I forgot you couldn't see me nod." What the hell kid? You've been Robin for almost three years now and you still make beginner mistakes.

     I shake the thought out of my head, focusing on the situation in front of me. The next alley is about five paces in front of the lady, making it about ten for the Hood guy and fifteen for me. I quicken my steps some, ending up right behind him as he passes the alley. I grab a hold of the man, tugging him to the right. Hood skids, his weight playing against him and causing him to fall hard. The silent street is filled with the sound of his helmet clashing with metal.

     "What the hell?!" The guy yells, quickly jumping back onto his feet. "Fucking Nightwing," he mumbles, shaking his head before stepping towards me.

     "Hood," I call back, lifting my fists to prepare myself and to cover my face.

     "Nightwing!" Tim calls over the com.

     "Not right now," I hiss, ducking as Red Hood swings at me.

     "Just move aside Wing, it's not what you think," Hood shouts, going to swing at me again. 

     I duck again, going for his feet as I'm down here. "You're a notorious killer chasing after a girl, what else am I supposed to think?" He sees through my attack a little late, managing to avoid falling but he stumbles. He falls against one of the dumpsters causing the alleyway to be filled with a loud crack again, but this time it's paired with the screeching of his gun barrels sliding against the dumpster.

     "Nightwing!" Tim calls again causing anger to boil in me.

     "You're supposed to be tailing the lady," I answer back, pulling my Escrima sticks off my back as I approach my newest sparring partner.

     "I am, she's heading-" Tim starts, but I don't catch the rest of his sentence. While I was distracted with the newest Robin, Red Hood ducked down and swiped my feet out from under me. Dumb little shit using my tricks against me. He starts walking towards me pulling his gun out of its holster as he nears.

     "What do I do?" Tim calls, worry laced into his words once again.

     I reach for my nearest stick, debating if I should throw it at his head to buy me time or try another leg sweep. "I don't know Robin, whatever you think is best." I decide on the stick, if it doesn't get me enough time to get up, it'll at least aid me in knocking him over. Hood's gun lowers as he stands over me, the barrel pointed at my forehead.

     I tug my hand forward, setting myself up to throw it at him when I'm cut off. "Lady don't!" Tim's voice screeches out, filling my ears through the com as well as echoing through the alleyway.

     "Don't shoot!" A female voice yells, thin fingers wrapping around the barrel of the gun and pushing it away from my head, up towards the sky. Before I know what's going on the alley is filled with the echoes of a bullet being released from it. I stay frozen, my mask going wide as I take in the scene in front of me.

     The lady from earlier is standing next to me, her hand still around the barrel and her arm stretched up as it's pointed into the sky. Her hair is in two buns on top of her head, the H/C color of it reminding me of Y/N's hair; well besides the streak of grey wrapped through her left bun. I don't need to be thinking of Y/N right now, that'll only distract me from saving this lady. "What the fuck is your problem, you daft cow?" The lady yells, ripping the gun out of Hood's hand.

     Daft cow? Okay, this girl or Bruce or even Robin has to be fucking with me. There is no way this random ass woman uses the same insult as Y/N. Much less the same British insult she picked up from Alfred. "Don't stand there and look dumb at me. What do you think you're doing?" She repeats, her hands pointing the gun towards the ground, her fingers nimble as she works to drop the magazine.

     "I... hi," Red Hood spits out, seeming just as lost as me.

     "Hello," the lady answers back, handing the empty gun back to him before turning towards me.  What the fuck? The face looking down at me is the spitting image of Y/N... well a slightly older Y/N. "Here you go," she says kneeling to hand me the magazine.

     My focus stays trapped in her eyes. They're shiny and bright and the same E/C color Y/N's are - were. Y/N's were. Because she's dead. Unlike Y/N's eyes, this girl has flickers of green around her irises. "Thank you?" I say, the words coming out as a question instead of a statement. I sit up, moving slowly towards her to take the magazine being held out to me.

     "You're welcome!" She chirps out with a smile. The same feeling of warmth I get - got - from Y/N's smile fills my chest, loosening some of the knots of stress. "What are you two fighting about anyway?" She asks, standing back up.

     It can't... she's not... "How?" I spit out, skirring to my feet.

     "How what?" Tim asks, appearing at my side.

     Y/N's - she's not Y/N - this lady's face falls as Robin comes into her sight. Her jaw clenches, eyes going hard making the green stand out more. "I got to go," she whispers, her tone throwing imaginary daggers alongside her words.

     She goes to walk past us, but she's stopped by Red Hood grabbing her arm. My hand falls to my belt, my fingertips grazing a bat-a-rang as Tim does the same. "Let... let me walk you home," he whispers, barely loud enough to meet my ears.

     "What the fuck is with all you superheroes?" She asks, shaking off Hood's hold on her as she glances around the three of us. "Two days ago, I had a frantic Batman shoving hundred-dollar bills into my hand. You- " she starts, tossing her hand towards Hood "-have been trailing me for three blocks, you-" her hand shifts from Hood to Robin "make me unbearably angry for god knows why, and you, you fucking daft cow belong in Blüdhaven, not Gotham so why are you here?" Her hands fall to her hips as her right one pops out some. Her eyes are still hard and beautiful, and I so badly want her to be my Y/N. "Are you going to answer me?" She sasses, her head tilting as she looks up at me.

     "I..." My words stick in my throat as I look at her. I lift my hands some, their shaking very noticeably. They don't stop shaking as I place them on her shoulders. She's warm and real and right here. Her eyes soften, shifting to confusion instead of anger. "Y/N?" I finally weasel out.

     "Good guess," she says a smile crossing her face as her hands fall from her sides.

     "Y/N?" I repeat, my heartbeat filling my ears.

     "That's my name, don't wear it out," she teases, shrugging my hands off her shoulders before slipping past me.

     My mind screams at me to walk after her but my body refuses to move. It takes a second for my mind to clear and for my eyes to adjust to the guy standing in front of me. The Hood has barely moved an inch this whole time. "What's next? You going to end up being Jason Todd?" I half-heartedly joke, a broken laugh falling from my mouth.

     Red Hood hums a bit, turning his head in the direction Y/N went. He starts walking that way but ends up shifting to the left instead of the right. Before turning the turned he stops, his head turns, peering over his shoulder at me. "We both know that Y/N being alive isn't the only secret Bruce Wayne is hiding from the world."

     The words cut through me as he disappears. "Should we go after him?" Tim asks, pulling on my sleeve some.

     "We're going back to the Manor," I mumble, turning on my heels. Bruce has a lot of explaining to do.

———————————

     My heart beats loud in my ears as I sit in my patrol car. I tried talking to Bruce about Y/N but he just shut down like he always does. I've kept on his case for the past couple of days but if he doesn't go silent, he starts yelling about nonsense so he's a dead end.

     I talked it over - both Y/N being alive and Jason being the Red Hood - with Alfred. It turns out that Bruce has known about Red Hood being Jason since shortly after the first time they had a run-in. He did some digging and found out the Al Ghuls had a hand in his revival - and his sudden turn to valiance. 

     Also, it turns out that he found out about Y/N two days before we did - like she said. Alfred said that Bruce believes Y/N doesn't remember much from before her death, or at least is pretending not to. Apparently, she had no idea who Batman or Bruce Wayne was. Personally, if I were in her situation, I would pretend not to know who he was too. Since finding out about all this I've been super pissed at Bruce and have refused to talk to him, let alone step foot in Gotham.

     Despite this, the universe has other plans. Gotham was short officers - shorter than usual - so my Captain back in Blüdhaven sent out a group of us to help pick up the slack. The whole time I've been here, I've been on edge. What if I see her again? What if I don't see her again? Being given the job of patrol doesn't help much either. All I get to do is sit here and wait; wait for someone to speed or try to mug someone else or try to do any other minor things. Sitting here and waiting doesn't help my thoughts to stop circling.

     I should talk to Y/N. I need to talk to her. What if she doesn't remember me? What if she does? Is she taking care of herself? How long has she been back in town? Is she alive because of the Laza pit too? If she is alive because of Al Ghul, did she serve time in the League of Assassins like Jason?

     These thoughts aren't any good for me. At least not while I'm on duty. I need to leave the distractions for the small time between being Officer Grayson and being Nightwing. Maybe some coffee would help. I decide to climb out of the cruiser, making sure to lock it before I start walking down the street.

     Around the corner from where I parked is a small twenty-four-seven cafe called Pamela's Cafe. It's always decked out in neon lights that stand out against the cloudy Gotham sky. We - Jason, Y/N, and me - used to go every night after patrol. It's one of the only businesses that have managed not to get burnt down or robbed into bankruptcy because their donuts are Joker's favorite. It's weird when you think about it but hey, at the end of the day, fed people - even villains - are grateful people.

     I round the corner, doing an environment check as I continue the short walk. I look into the cafe's big windows as I walk past them. They seem pretty busy, but I'm not surprised. Their prices are low, their food is good, and milliners and villains alike boast about it.

     The bell above the door jingles as I push the door open. "Welcome in Officer!" One of the workers chirps out. I nod at them, joining the line in front of the register.

     "I still don't understand why there are different colors," A feminine voice pipes up from across the room. It's soft, soft enough not to disturb her neighbors. The voice rings through my head, sounding like bells to my ears.

     A soft sigh follows her words. "The different colors are different element groups. Give me your notebook Y/N." I instantly recognize that voice. It belongs to Scarecrow - well Dr Crane. Before I can stop myself, I'm moving towards the voice. Is it my Y/N? If it is my Y/N, why is she talking to the scarecrow? Why is the scarecrow talking to her? Why the hell are they talking about elements?

     It doesn't take long for the doctor to fall into my view, and in turn, in my pathway. He hasn't changed much from my Robin days. He's still scrawny as ever with thin, dirt-brown hair, and big owl glasses that expand the size of his eyes. "Now, the teal-colored ones are basic metal elements," the doctor starts, bending his head down, probably to write in Y/N's notebook he asked for.

     As I come up to the booth they're sitting in, Y/N - my Y/N - falls into my sight. Her eyes are still a mix of the natural E/C and flickers of green as she turns from the doctor to me. "Hello Officer," she says, a lop-sided smile on her face.

     "How can we help you?" Crane says, standing up from his seat and attempting to squeeze between Y/N and me. It doesn't work very well. I'm a slim man but Scarecrow makes me look like a bodybuilder.

     "I just..." My thoughts escape me as I keep my focus locked on Y/N. "Just wanted to buy Y/N a coffee," I squeeze out, smiling back at her.

     The doctor glances between Y/N and me a few times before turning towards her. "Do you want him to buy you a coffee? I'll make him go away if you don't." Sure, you will, Doc. It's not like I've been whooping your ass since I was nine.

     "I don't mind. It's not very often a hot officer offers to buy me a drink," Y/N teases, propping her head on her hand as she continues to look at me with her loopy smile. She doesn't remember who I am, she doesn't remember who I am, she does not remember who I am.

     Crane looks me over once more before nodding towards Y/N. "I'll stop by later tonight to check over your chem homework, okay?"

     "Mkay," Y/N hums out, pulling her notebook to her side of the table. Scarecrow keeps his eyes locked on us as he slowly walks out of the cafe and continues to until he can no longer peer into the windows. "So, Officer-?"

     "Grayson," I offer, sliding into the booth seat across from her.

     "Bruce Wayne's Grayson?" She asks, curiosity filling her eyes, her head lifting and her fingers lacing together as she stares at me.

     "Ya," I say nervously, glancing around the cafe. "Do you want a coffee?" Of course not, Y/N doesn't like the taste of coffee, she always thought it was-

     "Coffee is too bitter. Do you mind if I get a Vanilla Frappuccino instead?"

     My eyes snap back at her, drinking in her smile, and her hair, and her beautiful eyes. God, her beautiful eyes that are somehow even prettier with the flickers of green mixed in. "Ya that's fine," I mumble, glancing at the line before looking back at her.

     She giggles a bit before propping herself up on the booth. She turns around, scanning the coffee bar. "Hey, Addison?" She calls out, getting a 'wassup?' in response. "Do you mind making me a vanilla frap and-"

     Y/N cuts herself off, looking over her shoulder at me. "Uh... just a black coffee and maybe a donut."

     "- and a black coffee with a chocolate chip muffin?"

     "Do you want me to use your daily discount?" Addison asks, getting another giggle out of Y/N.

     "No, Officer Grayson is buying me a coffee," Y/N responds, her words bubbling out of her. She turns back around, shifting back to a sitting position before talking to me. "You don't want a donut right now. They're way better after their first made so you got to get one either at three a.m. or three p.m. I've never been here at three a.m. but for some reason, I just know they're better than, you know?"

     "Ya, I know," I breathe out, my mind running a mile a minute. Does she remember coming here with me? Does she remember me? Or is it just her conscious knowing that she's supposed to know these things? Is she getting her memories back? How long until she remembers who I am? Who Alfred is? Who Bruce is? Does she remember what the Joker did to her? What he did to Jason? "So..." I peep out, watching her watching me, "Tell me about yourself."

     Y/N hums softly, shifting her eyes around. "I can't really tell you about myself because I don't know myself."

     "What can-"

     "Here you go!" The Addison girl struts over, cutting me off as she sets Y/N's coffee down. "Officer Grayson," she coos, taking her time to set down my coffee and my muffin. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" She adds, continuing her cooing as she gives me my bill.

     I glance down at it. Eight dollars, not too bad for two coffees and a muffin. "As I was saying," I start again, turning towards Y/N, "What can you tell me about yourself?"

     Y/N's a bit distracted, her smile gone and her eyes following the celebrity hopper as she slides back behind the counter. "Um... I hate the taste of coffee."

     I chuckle at that a bit. "Well, ya, I know that already." She turns back towards me, blessing me with the sight of her eyes again. "Do you have a favorite color?" It's orange, dark orange like Wally's hair.

     "I really like orange. Not like sunset orange, I think it's too light. More of a copper orange." My heart pings at her words but I try my best not to let it show on my face. "I don't remember much of... anything," Her voice is soft on the last word. "But I do have a fuzzy memory of the color."

     "Ya? What's the memory?" I push, picking up my cup. When I glance down at it, I see the waitress's number scribbled on it. I hate Gotham.

     Y/N takes a second, closing her eyes as if that'll help clear up her memories. "During it, I was on the beach I think... Maybe just in a pool, I don't know. But I was in a body of water and an older boy - like way older - was holding me. I think he was teaching me how to swim, I don't know," Y/N's eyes snap open, a small smile on her face. "I don't remember much of it; I just know his hair is or was orange and the color makes me feel comfortable." I know what memory she's talking about.

     Bruce took in Y/N when he took in Jason. Jay made it very clear that they were a packaged deal and Bruce didn't mind. He wasn't kidding either. He and Y/N ran the Gotham streets together for half their lives.

     It didn't take long to figure out that neither of them knew how to swim so the team decided to take a day off and go swimming at the Happy Harbor beach. It took most of the day to get Jason unattached from Y/N but somehow Wally managed too.

     Walles took her into the water and kept a hold of her as he swam around and eventually managed to get her to swim a bit on her own. At the time Wally was 20 were as Y/N and Jay were 12 so I'm not surprised she remembers him being so much older than her; it probably felt like that at the time.

     It's one of my favorite memories. It's one I look at every day. I have a picture of Y/N wrapped up in Wally's arms as they're swimming on my desk at work.

     "I have a question, but you don't have to answer it," I say, being careful with my words.

     "It's about my memory loss, ya?" She asks, her smile falling as she sips on her Frappuccino. I hum a yes, watching her body language for a response. I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

     "Well, there's not much to tell. Six months ago, I just... woke up in Gotham Hospital. The doctors say that I probably ended up in the crosshairs of Batman and one of the Gotham goons since I was littered with injuries and had quite a few wounds to my head. They also said I'm suffering from temporary dementia and that my memories will - hopefully - eventually come back."

     "How do you know your name is Y/N?" I ask, trying to push the images and videos from Y/N and Jay's death out of my head.

     "Well, they did a blood test and tested it against Gotham records. Apparently, I used to be quite the troublemaker. When they did my blood test, they found the DNA of some dude named Jason Todd on me. I have no clue who that is but apparently, we used to get into trouble together all the time. I googled him and... well, he's been dead for a couple of years. It turns out he was a ward of Bruce Wayne, just like you. Did you know him?"

     My heart pings again for Y/N. "Ya, I knew him," I answer, pulling my eyes away from her face. If I look at her too much longer, I'll end up crying. It must have been so hard for her. It must still be so hard for her. Waking up and not knowing who you are. Getting a lead to someone you were once close to and then finding out they're dead. Walking around living your life not knowing anything about yourself.

     Y/N hums, pulling my eyes back to her. Her hands are busy putting her school supplies back into her bag. "Well, I hate to dine and dash but I have a speech class to get to. I don't know if you'd be open to it, but could we meet up again? I'd like to get to know about this Jason guy. I'm pretty sure he was important to me."

     My heart squeezes in my chest again. Jason was important to Y/N. They loved each other so much. The thought of lying to her crosses my mind. I've adored Y/N forever, but I could never compete with the history she has with Jay, so I never tried.

     But now? She doesn't even know the guy. I could lie through my teeth and tell her that Jason left her behind after Bruce adopted him. With dementia - even temporary dementia - there's never a promise that any, let alone all her memories will come back. But I can't do that to her. Even if her memory never clears, I wouldn't be able to live a life of a lie with her.

     "Ya, I'd like that," I say, placing a smile on my face. I pull out my notebook, quickly scratching down my phone number and address before handing the paper to her.

     "Thank you for the coffee," she says, a smile huge on her face as she looks down at the yellow paper.

     "You're welcome," I answer back, my heart picking up some as she smiles before it falls back down as she walks away. "Y/N?" I call after her, quickly throwing down a ten before jumping to my feet. When I get near her I grab her arm so she can't get any further away. Once she's stopped I drop her from my hold. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that.

     "Ya?" She asks, looking up at me with those big, beautiful eyes. I could spend the rest of my days looking into them, counting all the green strips that have become recently present in them.

     "You... Bruce... Bruce Wayne and his butler, Alfred, knew Jason quite well too. I'm... I'm going to call him and tell him I talked to you, okay? Feel free to go to the manor at any time and talk to them too, ya?"

     "Okay, thank you, Officer Grayson," Y/N chirps out, her smile growing before she slides out of the cafe.

     Bruce doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to see Y/N alive, doesn't deserve to see her well and happy and breathing. But Y/N does. She deserves to know who she is. She deserves to know there are still people who love her and care about her.

     My heart races as I walk out of the cafe, pulling out my phone on the way. My fingers shake so badly as I push the call button that I have to double-check to make sure I push it. "Hey Bird-Boy," Wally says, his voice as excited as usual.

     "Hey Walles, I think you should sit down. I... have some really good news."

———————————

     My heart jumps when my cell rings. I'm quick to grab it, a smile playing on my face when I see Y/N's contact. "Hello."

     "Hello!" Her voice is as cheerful as ever when I answer her call. "I think I have the right building, but your call button doesn't work."

     A couple of hours after we met up, she called me to set up another one. It was the longest week of my life, waiting to see her again, waiting to get the chance to show her who she was. "Oh, ya, I forgot about that. I'll be down in a second."

     "See you soon, Officer," She teases before the line is hung up. 

     I'm quick to rush out my door and down the stairs to the apartment building entrance. My excitement makes it a bit of a struggle to open the door, but I do manage to get it open. Today Y/N has her hair down with a headband bow-looking thing in it. Her eyes are still super bright, causing my breath to hick a bit when I take them in. "Are you going to let me in, or do you want me to melt away in the rain?"

     "No! Come in, please," I rush out, stepping aside so Y/N can get some shelter from the rain. She smiles a bit, sliding in next to me in the hallway. "Umm... this way," I mumble, gently grabbing her wrist to pull her towards my apartment. Y/N pitter patters behind me, her head shifting around to take in the hallway. Not that there's much to take in.

     I let go of her when we get to my apartment so that I can hold the door open for her again. She says a small 'thank you' before walking through the door frame. Y/N reminds me of a drop of sunlight as she walks around the living space. Breathing life into the dark, gloomy apartment. I watch as she walks around, taking in the small kitchen before shifting her attention to the living room. "How long have you lived here?" She asks, her fingertips running over the different books packed onto my bookcase.

     "About six years," I whisper, scared if I speak too loudly that this will all turn out to be some fantasy I've credited in my head. I take slow steps towards her, stopping close enough behind her that if she moves, she'll brush up against me. Y/N doesn't seem to mind though, her attention staying on the shelves.

     "What's this?" she asks, tipping one of the photo albums I have so she can look at it better.

     "It's a photo album," I answer, wrapping my fingers around the spine of it, slightly grazing her in the process. Y/N tilts her head a bit at the touch but doesn't say anything. "Do you want to look through it? It might help with your memories."

     "Maybe," She murmurs, sliding out from in front of me. Her back rubs against me as she moves, warmth enveloping me as she moves. I watch as she walks over to the couch, making herself comfy on it as she waits for me to follow.

     I follow after her, photo album in hand as I sit down next to her. Her eyes light up when I place it on her lap and open it, causing the green flickers in them to remind me of emerald silvers.

     Her hands are gentle as she flips through the book. She stops now and again, taking a second to take in the photo and think it over. She flips the page again, starting the Happy Harbor Swimming Day section. Thanks to M'gann there are about a hundred pictures from the day.

     "That's the guy! From my memory," Y/N cheers, pointing to a copy of the picture I have on my desk. "That's Wally." I can feel hope clawing up my chest as I try to push it down. "He's Kid Flash, ya? Oh shit, I don't think I'm supposed to say that." Maybe it's okay to have a bit of hope after all.

     "Don't worry, I already know he's Kid Flash," I reassure her, wrapping my arm around her neck to pull her closer to me.

     Y/N's eyes flicker up at me before turning back to the photos. "My memories are coming back faster than they have been," she says, her eyes flickering again.

     "That's a good thing."

     She hums softly, flipping another page and taking in the pictures. "I'm remembering a lot about Jason, and you."

     My chest tightens some, both hope and fear seeping in. None of us are perfect, especially those of us who serve the world as vigilantes. It leads to a lot of fear and stress and anger that likes to manifest and cause fights. I've picked my fair share of fights. With Bruce, with Alfred, with Jay, and Y/N. I don't want those to be the memories she remembers first or the only memories she could get back of me.

     "Ya?" I finally squeeze out after a pause of silence. It feels like my heart falls out with the words.

     "Mmhmm" she hums, flipping the page again. She's finally out of the beach day and is now looking through the photos from Jay's 13th birthday. "I remember calling you Wing all the time which is weird. Maybe? Maybe not since I remember Wally being Kid Flash. You're like super deep into the hero gig ya?"

     "Ya... ya I am."

     "Was I a hero?"

     If my heart didn't fall out with my words before it sure as hell did now. It's going to kill me having to tell her everything, having to tell her how she died. "There's a lot I need to explain to you," I finally say, pulling the photo album off her lap and placing it on the table in front of us. Her eyes turn towards me and once again the flickers of green trap my attention. Tonight is going to be longer and more painful than any patrol I've ever done.

———————————————————————