#if i wasn’t tricked into believing those cute ship edits were real

[onlyzizi]

i will never forgive the kagehina bitches for tricking me into watching a sports anime

[kurogabae]

TSUBASA: TRAINWRECK CHRONICLES

And Why Bee Train Are Officially Being Labeled, By Me, As The Boomers Of Animation

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 -- Part 4

[Slim Shady’s “Guess Who’s Back” plays in the distance, muffled but threatening]

Look, I know I usually have something to say at the start of these, but honestly? Let’s just go because we’re starting knee-deep in some bullshit. 

Tsarastora (yes... fucking AGAIN):

Well, it didn’t take long for us to return to the land of the walking Not Dead Anymore. Rumor has it that Bee Train was ordered to retcon the S1 finale immediately because who do you think you are to break one of CLAMP’s cardinal rules like that?!? But I’ve never seen any proof of exactly what went down about this plot. But I’m forced to believe Ohkawa materialized behind the director one day and threatened to eat his spine or some shit. 

Anyway. We’re here. Again. And for some reason this is where they decide to have Sakura give Yuuko her White Day gift? Instead of in Piffle? Where she made it? With Tomoyo?

Stop stealing my moments Bee Train. It’s like you’re the crew who edited CCS for America back in the day and tried to market it towards boys so you pushed Syaoran as the main character and tried to remove all romance. Let Sakura have friends! Let her interact with people and have a story! LET HER BE BI!!!

So Yuuko has a dress and Fai makes a joke about being in heaven because the place is so pretty and Kurogane says not to, quote, “say such unlucky things” and it’s moments like this that make you wonder if they Knew and just didn’t care about Fai’s past or if they really were just as in the dark as the rest of us. I flip flop a lot between the two. 

Either way, now the dads are talking about the kids and how brave Syaoran is (why the bullshit in Piffle prompted this I do not know but whatever I guess?) and basically just about how badly they want them to succeed but without just saying it. Meanwhile Sakura is telling Syaoran about her latest memory and I could not for the life of me tell you which one it was and I refuse to go check. The important thing here is that the lazy animation trick that has given Mokona the power of flight is back and she’s hovering around the gang now. Not sitting on shoulders or anything. Just... flying around like she’s Kero. This is fine. I guess.

And then, after what has to be like a solid half hour of just dicking around Mokona Very Suddenly senses a feather. Why so suddenly? Because they wanted to get everything else out of the way first and it was convenient. No other reason. The feather isn’t moving. Neither are they really. She just decides to turn her sensors on now? IDK. Maybe she needs a tune up.

They find the feather not far away just casually sitting inside a rock and everyone but Kurogane is like “Yay! Easy find! Go us!” because apparently no one can learn anything in this anime about what those fucking feathers do. Spoilers: it’s not a rock, it’s a dragon.

[Kurogane voice]: kin

The dragon fucks off and here we come to a Thing. Now, Kurogane is ready to slaughter this thing and wear its bones basically. He is Ready to Fight in a real way. I found that odd and really didn’t care for it. In Hanshin he seems in awe of Celes when it appears to him and even though it’s mostly fanon that Kurogane respects and likes dragons that makes sense. His family’s guardian was a dragon, his sword was modeled after a dragon. His whole motif is dragons! Why is he so ready to kill this one? Does it not count if it’s not a Nihon dragon? Does only Ginryuu get respect? It just feels bad???

But none of that matters because guess what! Dragon shaped as it might be, the thing is a demon? At least, that’s what they’re calling it. Sometimes. Fai says demon, Syaoran says dragon. They don’t.... agree on the term? Shut up. It’s a dragon.

So they soon realize that they are back in Should Be Very Dead-ville and oh no everyone is going to die again unless we get this OTHER feather because if one feather can buy us a month of living surely one more will fix our deaths forever right? ....right? (On a side note; Fai makes a comment about how weird it is that two feathers fell in the same world while he’s from Celes and knows damn well he found two and is unaware of a third!!!) 

Either way the family is gonna help because, you know. Feather. If memory serves, the dragon is hiding in a lake, so what does Kurogane (who is now in charge because of course) have them do? They set the lake on fucking fire. And it delights him. It do not, however, delight the dragon, who, understandably, goes apeshit. Luckily, no one dies and they just hack off the horn that the feather was stuck in. And then they... take it to God again because wow they really do think this will work. Sakura, honey, I know how sweet you are but it only got them one month last time. What good will this do?

The answer is no good!

God basically tells them it’s tough tits, the month long visitation was all they could manage and no matter how many super powered magic bird parts they bring the dead are dead and that’s that. Which sucks for those villagers but haha, bummer for FAi to have to hear. Again. After watching Sakura wish someone to life with a mere piece of her soul. Again. Wonder how that felt. (Short post about Kurogane and Fai’s possible feelings here.)

So to end the episode, Sakura gets her feather back and then the family leaves town but sticks around on the outskirts to watch everyone fucking die again like some sick ass fuckers!!!

I’m not even going to talk about the stupid memory she gets with papa!Clow and learning about how death is a Thing via her dead pet bunny. It happens. It’s inorganic. I hate it. Shut up Clow.

The episode is over and I’ll leave you with this to heal your souls.

I am a simple woman.

Portoria:

WE’RE ON A BOAT MOTHA FUCKER!

If you’re too young to recognize that joke, click the link for... an experience. Wear headphones. Everyone else, please join me in this not-a-Wind-Waker-AU. 

We’re gonna skip all of my bad sailor jokes and focus for a minute on Kurogane’s Sinbad cosplay here because yes good hello I am easily distracted. 

Anyway, the captain is this world’s version of Koryo’s shitty Ryanban and Kurogane and Fai have a moment to wax philosophical about whether or not souls are inherently good or evil, which is fine and I would hardly mention if, while they were doing this, the “camera” wasn’t stood still on an image of Syaoran and Sakura just... smiling at each other while the dads spoke. Like the kids aren’t even doing anything, they’re just smiling. It’s weird. It’s also almost like accidental foreshadowing because HAHA THOSE ARE CLONES! But I’m not gonna go into it for the sake of this joke.

On the ship everyone has to work, Kurogane is terrorizing his new shipmates into compliance under his leadership, Fai and Sakura are cooking fish, and Syaoran is in the engine room with a child version of Fujitaka AKA his father. Understandably, Syaoran is Feeling Emotions, not that the animation is any indicator of this. He also calls a ten year old daddy so things are going great. 

Now yes, Syaoran must miss his father terribly, not only has he been dead for who knows how long exactly (anywhere upwards of 5 years possibly) but Syaoran is far from home without any pictures or familiarity to remind him of Fujitaka, and now he’s got some savant elementary schooler who is an AU version of his dad basically sharing his deepest hopes and dreams.  It’s a weird episode. Oh, and there is no feather, but Mokona is sweet as can be and stays so Syaoran can get to know this version of Fujitaka. Which honestly seems more like a punishment than anything to me, but hey. 

Also, there’s a sea monster. And a haunted island. And something that sounds suspiciously like Piedmon from Digimon. 

Syaoran and Fujitaka get stranded on the island after getting yeeted overboard and the captain telling the rest of the family that his ancestors forbid people from going to the island is enough to stop a rescue mission? Like. Kurogane AND Sakura are sitting there, letting nothing happen. This is fine. Everything is fine. 

And it kinda is because the island if filled with old shit and Syaoran is geeking out like a kid surrounded by his special interest would be expected to. 

In the end, the creepy laughter was wind, the island isn’t haunted, the family tries to row out to save Syaoran and a sea monster is on screen for all of 30 seconds. This episode was boring. Dull. It wasn’t even particularly angsty because Bee Train has no concept of emotional DEPTH!! Their expressions and emotions are as flat as Fai’s ass and as dry as Clow’s deserts. This could have been a very moving and fascinating filler episode, but Bee Train remains in capable of doing ANYTHING AT ALL EVER! I’m bored. This is boring.

At least Sakura looked cute in her little sailor outfit. 

The next episode is “A Date With a Wizard” and that shitshow is getting its own post. Peace. 

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 -- Part 4

[mnemehoshiko]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi [BULLETPOINT TRASH EDITION]

A  SPOILERS AND OPINIONS ABOUND AND POOR FORMATTING CHOICES

(with bonus citing of external canon sources mainly the visual dictionary leaks)

Short version: I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE ON SO MANY LEVELS AND IASDFSDFDASFASDSFDSFDSFSSAFDSADFSDF

Long version:

I enjoyed TFA. But it was very much a safe remake movie because JJ can literally only do remakes and monster movies. I’m also still bitter over Into Darkness BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE HERE FOR SO I’M GONNA MOVE ON.

I really enjoyed Rogue One. It broke new ground etc etc but it had the freedom to do that because it wasn’t dependent on anything ultra important.

TLJ had the awkward positioning of figuring out how to move the main story forward in new and interesting ways AND not remake ESB. And I’m going to be super honest, I was 20% certain they were going to go Rey Skywalker??? Mainly because fanboys are amazingly uncreative but also because it would be a very safe way to go. Ohhhhh, of course Rey has the force. It’s because she’s of the Skywalker bloodline. ALL MAKES SENSE IN THE WORLD AGAIN.

As soon as Luke tossed that saber off the cliff, I knew that all my expectations were going to be subverted. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

AND ON THE TOPIC OF LUKE, there seems to be two camps the

HELL YEAH LUKE SKYWALKER camp or the

OMG RIAN YOU RUINED STAR WARS AND LUKE ANDFS@#EWREWRWE camp, to which I’m like

so like did you watch the Original Trilogy my dudes?

No really did you watch the “OMG SHE’S PRETTY WE TOTALLY NEED TO RESCUE HER!!”

the “WELP BRB HEADING TO DAGOBAH WITH NO WARNING BECAUSE REASONS!!!!”

“NO WAIT MY FRIENDS NEED MY HELP SORRY GOTTA GO”

“BRB I JUST GOT MY WORLD VIEW TRAUMATIZED AND I NEED TO FALL IN THE ABYSS LIKE AN EXTRA (TM) BITCH”

“OH HEY I’M GONNA FIGHT MY DAD IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER BECAUSE YOLOOOOOOOOO”

like Luke Skywalker lives on impulse 

much like his father

like according to the visual dictionary, Leia was supposed to be his first student and she like said no due to like politics and family stuff

but lbr she probably looked at Luke YOLO Skywalker and was like....yeah no my dude you are a messssss

never be the first grad student

also like IF REYSKY was a thing

you’re basically saying 

YES I WANT MY HERO LUKE SKYWALKER

TO DROP A KID OF A SANDY WASTELAND THAT EVEN HE BELIEVES IS NOWHERE

which like my dude, he’s from Tatooine and if he’s saying Jakku is nowhere. then like that place is like purgatory

like I STRONGLY BELIEVE if like Rey was his kid he AT LEAST would have dropped her 

somewhere with reliable foster parents

and like water

LOTS OF WATER

OKAY I’M DONE RANTING ABOUT THIS

ANYWAY like I can totally believe with like Luke seeing the #darkness + probably Snoke’s influence in his head his immediate response was OMG WE GOTTA KILL IT and then went...oh wait this....is not a chill idea maybe we should talk shit out first/meditate etc

and like IMMEDIATE REGRET AFTERWARDS

honestly this is like textbook Male Skywalker bullshit 101

I HAVE DONE A THING!!!  i regret everything now

THIS IS A HORRIBLE SEGUE BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY AVENGING SPACE ANGEL LEIA ORGANA!!!!!

*CRIES A LOT*

RIAN JUST LOVES LEIA AND CARRIE SO MUCH

*UGLY SOBBING*

LEIA USED THE FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

EAT IT FANBOYS!!!

FUCKING IT!!!

LIKE I KNEW BUT LIKE PURE PROOF IN FUCKING CANON

LEIA! IS! FUCKING! FORCE! SENSITIVE!!!!!

also i’m 99% certain Luke didn’t teach it her that trick so like my homegirl literally DID THAT

i just love leia so fukcing much and yes okay the cgi was kind of wonky BUT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK BECAUSE MY GENEARAL/PRINCESS JUST USED THE FORCE LIKE A BOSS THAT SHE IS

Also i just love Leia so much in this

like That Shot on Crait with her eyes over the collar is like 

POETIC CINEMA

no really someone hook a girl up and give me that shot as a lock screen

Also that scene post mutiny showing up in a 3000-thread count couture bathrobe, a matching cane, and blaster? #AESTHETIC

also personal opinion but Billie Lourd in that scene wasn’t acting as much as oh god i’m in trouble face that all children go through

**MORE UGLY SOBBING*

OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT POE ONLY BECAUSE IT’S MY BLOG AND I DO WANT I WANT

*steps on step stool*

I DID NOT CARE ABOUT POE DAMERON IN TFA BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND ONLY GOT TO LIVE BECAUSE OSCAR ASKED JJ TO LIVE AND OSCAR ISAAC IS PRETTY BUT LIKE THAT’S ALL I GOT OUT OF THE MOVIE.

*climbs off soapbox* Poe in this film GAINED SOME DEPTH, sadly it seems to be very polarizing and I think that’s in part due to the fact that it’s pulling on backstory from the EU, primarily Shattered Empire and the Poe Dameron Comics. Shattered Empire doesn’t directly include Poe but it involves his parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. His mom, Shara, went on a mission with Leia and some others for some reason I can’t remember BUT ANYWAY SHE’S A BOSS. A HERO OF THE REBELLION. Poe literally grew up around heroes. One of his squad mates in Poe Dameron is another hero from the rebellion. He has a very wide-eyed view on the concept of heroism? For him it’s daring deeds and important war-changing missions, he’s very much a soldier and not at a leader. At least not yet. You get this immediately from the fight scene with First Order and the bombing run and the aftermath of it. 

Poe sees what’s in front of him which is a destroyed Star Destroyer (?), Leia sees the whole picture which is a single ship destroyed at the cost of a significant part of their fleet. Yes, there were heroes but a resistance can’t survive on dead heroes.

You see this again in his willingness to go after the high-risk plan to somehow hack the main ship to get them to stop tracking them. He’s thinking YES THIS IS THE BOLD PLAN MISSION OF MY DREAMS!!! Except it fails, and yes I completely understand that this could have been avoid with like communication but to embark on communication? You need to let go of your ego. Ego is not a BAD THING, but sometimes it can prevent us from being our best self. The best leader we can be. And Poe does learn this as you can see with Leia passing the baton of leadership to Poe on Crait. As Poe realizes that a dramatic last stand isn’t worth the loss. It’s better to run to let the rebellion live than to die in a burst of glory. Those are the hard choices a leader has to make.

OKAY MOVING ON BECAUSE I SUCK AT TRANSITIONS, LETS TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY SONS, FINN TICO

I LOVE MY SON AND HIS TRANSITION FROM BEING A MERE FIRST ORDER DEFECTOR TO A MEMBER OF THE REBELLION !!!!!!! First I loved the fact that his characterization followed naturally from TFA which TO RECAP consisted of:

 realizing that the First Order is a horrible idea; 

getting the fuck out via some convenient pilot dude who (supposedly) dies; 

meeting a girl who STRAIGHT UP ATTACKS HIM under the hearsay of a droid

realizing she’s the BEST THING SINCE TROOPER RATIONS and attempting to flirt because running away from a organization is best done in at least a pair

getting caught up in Resistance nonsense you are 1000% Not Here for because YOU KNOW THE FIRST ORDER and you know losing odds

aforementioned Girl is taken by the First Order and you’re like WELP GUESS I GOTTA TEMPORARILY JOIN this horrible idea to save girl

Tries to save girl but gets knocked out

END OF MOVIE

TLJ PICKS UP immediately after this in which his first and only thought is FIND REY AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS NONSENSE. THIS IS NOT WORTH DYING FOR Y’ALL ARE CRAZY. Which lets be real, you’re dealing with an organization.....that can destroy an entire space system that you have personal experience with. You’ve just been attacked by the First Order, the Resistance is worse off than they were BEFORE YOU WENT TO (attempt) SAVE REY. Finn’s main priority is WELP THIS IS A LOSING CAUSE GONNA GET MY FRIEND AND BOUNCE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO DIE.

Then it hit’s him like a shock. Figuratively and literally because Rose shows up.

BEFORE I TALK ABOUT ROSE I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PAIGE ALSO KNOWN AS i was pretty sure she was gonna die but it felt natural-ish and I also know need to buy Cobalt Squadron for like TICO SISTER FEELS. But during that bombing run you immediately got the sense of

what she was doing was already extremely risky

YOU’RE IN SHIP FULL OF BOMBS

and that her last moments were of someone incredibly important to her

and like eventually TO ALL OF US AND MEEEE

I’m going to be honest and say that this plot was probably the weakest for the audience and for me. I understood what they were trying to cover but I feel some sections got cut for the final version.

BUT BACK TO CHARACTERS, FINN!!!!

had to deal with the struggle of moving past Rey as his sole guiding focus of his story?

Also people are like OMG WHY IS HE SO WIDE EYED ON CANTO BIGHT?!?! THAT’S OOC!!!

and i’m like my dudes

he’s never been outside of the pod of stormtroopers like EVER

HE’S FROM A LIFE OF MONOCHROME AND NOW INFUSED IN A LIFE OF COLOR

Finn: OMG THIS PLACE IS AWESOME Rose: this place is trash and I’m gonna fight it

Also can I give a shout out to that section where he’s explaining the plan to Poe and like Rose is like AHEM I’M HAPPY TO HAVE A FELLOW NERD BUT ALSO I CAN TALK!!!!

Poe on the otherhand is like....ah yes...cute nerds are talking....OH WE CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR FREEDOM!!! YES SOUNDS GREAT!!!

Also his interactions with DJ are essentially him seeing a potential future for himself

and like trash meta moment, unlike Kylo “I Make Poor Life Choices” Ren, he makes the decision to reject that future for himself.

Like Finn’s arc in this movie I would argue is to stop being a passive observer in the narrative and to start CLAIMING his space in the narrative that is Star Wars

like FANON!Finn is very much the Resistance automatically accepting him and him become The Dude in The Resistance

this movie ACTUALLY DID THE CHARACTER WORK for him to become a leader in the Resistance

Look I really love Finn and he finally got the character development he deservessssss

MOVING ON TO MY NEWEST DAUGHTER!!!!

ROSE!!! TICO!!! BEST DAUGHTER!! GOOD DAUGHTER!!! MY SMOL ENGINEER!!

Okay, first off. I will like forever and ever be thankful to Rian for casting Kelly Marie Tran SO JOT THAT SHIT DOWN

BUT MNEME SHE ABUSED--

finish that sentence and i will unhinge my maw to consume your filthy soul

AHEM, I mean you’re entitled to your opinions

which are wrong

SERIOUSLY THO, every time someone goes “Rose straight-up shocked a black boy till he passed out!!!!!” I’m like

okay one, he’s canonically 23 years  old

like as a black woman and one with a little brother I’m very cognizant of the impact of black violence in media and the constant view of black boys as adults

but also HE’S 23

two, Rey straight up clobbered him under the hearsay of BB-8 saying that “oh that dude has my dad’s jacket” compared to Rose catching him escaping via escape pods after catching 2/3 people doing the same thing earlier that day + losing her only living family

like if this is the hill you want to die on!?!?!?!?

I JUST REALLY ROSE BECAUSE SHE’S THE ENGINEER TAKE NO SHIT DISNEY PRINCESS OF MY COLD DEAD HEART SPACE

I just she’s so quick and smart but  get put into the ANTI-SOCIAL ASSHOLE BOX???

like yes she’s very good and detailed at her job

She also wants to fight everyone

like if i wrote an academia au (but Mneme you do---) she would be like the HELLO CLASS THIS IS OUR EXAM ALSO BONUS POINTS IF YOU GO ON A FIELD TRIP WITH ME ^_^

Student: Dr. Tico, that field is a protest.

Dr. Tico: I HAVE SIGNS AND HANDCUFFS!!!!

I just really loved her arc on Canto Bight and her care for the little people and also the emphasis it’s not the wide dramatic actions that make the resistance but the people that make it thrive.

“We win by saving what we love.”

Mneme that kiss was sexless--

THE GIRL JUST KNOCKED A SHIP OUT OF THE WAY OF A CANNON, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK

She’s be more than down to climb him like a tree later.

OKAY WHILE WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE RESISTANCE

I UNDERSTAND WHY ADMIRAL AMILYN HOLDO DIED AND THE SHOT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT AND JUST 

#POETIC CINEMA

but also *UGLY SOBBING*

so like yes I understand that this probably could have been solved via OPEN COMMUNICATION but

Poe has literally just been demoted for flyboy antics

Poe initial interaction with Admiral Holdo consists of “soooo do you understand the situation” in front of a bunch of upper level brass

like maybe if he was like HEY HOW CAN I HELP it would have been better but he literally goes

HI ADMIRAL PLEASE LET EXPLAIN YOUR JOB AFTER I JUST MANAGED TO GET A HUGE CHUNK OF THE FLEET DEMOLISHED

cue Oscar Isaac’s prettiness

so like I understand but also I DISAGREE

also when Amilyn talks to Leia when Poe is like being carted onto the transport saying “I like him!” I’m 99% certain it was implied that she was also down to bang

actually knowing what I know from Leia, Princess of Alderaan

she’s TOTALLY DOWN TO BANG

OKAY LETS FINISH UP THIS NONSENSE WITH REMAINING TWO CHARAS ALSO KNOWN AS THIS IS A BIASED REVIEW AND IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO YOU CAN LIKE STOP HERE AND GO

......

.....

....

*looks around* okay they’re gone?

*TAKES  OUT MIC*

FIRST THING FIRST, I HAVE BEEN REY NO ONE SINCE FOREVER AND NOW I AM VALIDATED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD~~~~

It also follows from what Maz said in TFA, “you know they aren’t coming back.” This movie is Rey coming to terms with the failure that her parents inflicted on her, abandonment, and realizing that she doesn’t need some grand legacy to save the galaxy. Being herself is enough, and that’s so so beautiful to meeeeeeeeeeeeee. *weeps*

#POETIC CINEMA

SECOND, KYLO’S ARC WAS GEARED TOWARDS MEEEEEE!!! THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ALL THE CHARACTER SHIT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT KYLO REN SINCE TFA THAT I THOUGHT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!!!

Them: KYLE RON WAS TOTALLY DOWN TO KILL HAN AND UNREMORSEFUL. Me: ???? did we watch the same movie??

did you like look at the lighting in that scene???

the facial expressions??

LITERALLY EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT SCENE ABOUT BEING SEDUCED BY THE LIGHT?!!?!?

Kylo himself in TLJ: i didn’t hate him

THIS CONFLICT, THIS UNBALANCEDNESS CONTINUES THROUGH OUT THE FILM!?!? Also, I’m going to be hella honest 

pre-TLJ: Renperor is such a horrible trope because Kylo Ren is a disaster human being who has no business and no interest (see Bloodline) in ruling??? LIKE YOU ARE ASSIGNING COMPETENCE TO MY SON WHERE THERE IS NONE

post-TLJ: alright, I can Work With This and I’m 99% certain he is going to be ousted because the FO is like who is this human disaster with the political savvy of a blunt post 

like any credibility was lost as soon as he decided to have force tantrum when Luke showed up

and the SHOOT THAT SHIP OUT OF THE SKY!!!! moment

like my son leads wears his trash heart on his sleeve and EVERYONE KNOWS IT

honestly the fact that he managed to lie about killing Snoke is a miracle

but this CANON!renperor 

this Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, which i am like laugh my ass of over, is not some triumphant Dark Fuck Prince??

He’s broken man who has thrown so so much into rejecting the light, becoming the monster that his uncle he feared he would become and realized that he done fucked up. 

He tells Rey, Let the past die, kill it if you have to.

LITERALLY CANNOT LET THE PAST DIE

does copy his namesakes dramatic robe dropping so like there’s that

Also pre-TLJ: meh there’s a 50/50 chance he’s a virgin but lol it will never but touched on in canon

Post-TLJ: oh god he’s a virgin i will fight you on thissss

AND NOW BECAUSE I AM THAT PERSON REY AND KYLO’S OVERLAPPING ARCS

*SCREAMS* FORCE BOND FORCE BOND FORCE BOND

oh did i mention FORCE BOND!?!?!?!?!

Okay yes Snoke helped it along but like THAT LAST SCENE WITH THE DICE AND KYLO LOOKING UP AND SEEING REY

Snoke is dead bitches

what is it

it’s the Force

it was so good to meee

Honestly that face was peak “I’m disappointed but not surprised, I left all your shit on the porch. *SLAMS DOOR IN FACE*”

Like THE INTIMACY OF THOSE FORCE BOND SCENES

and like the evolution and like ASDFDSFSDAFDS

this was so good to me y’all

so good

no really i like never rec meta but like this *kisses fingers* http://corseque.tumblr.com/post/168629533017 good shit 

THAT REGENCY TRASH PROPOSAL OF FAILURE

so good

so awful

congrats Kylo, you’ve surpassed your granddad in poor wooing skills

Like literally I can see Anakin standing next to him Force Ghost!Stylez and is just like appalled

so appalled

okay i’m done I’m going to think about star wars and start throwing all my money at the EU YET AGAIN