#if i wanna write john silver getting railed

[ogygian]

the hard part about writing John Silver is that he'd absolutely be fantastic at dirty talk. Even when he's being a Serious Dude grappling with Serious Things he's so slutty with it.

like. "wouldn't you trade it all to have Thomas Hamilton back again?" EXCUSE ME?? I literally had the same reaction as Flint. the way this man sees a boundary and obliterates it... "It is some kind of hell to be forced to choose one irreplaceable thing over another." HUH. DID YOU JUST INDIRECTLY CALL FLINT IRREPLACEABLE. AND FLINT IS JUST LIKE 🤨🤔 ASKING HIMSELF THE SAME QUESTION. how is this man so confrontational and vulnerable and flirty and intense at the same time. you KNOW flint was shaking in his boots like John Silver!!! John fucking silver. Mr John Silver. What the hell

[torn-and-frayed]

Protection

Word Count: 1035

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Square Filled: Neighbors

Warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse 

A/N: Written for @spnaubingo and a drabble prompt sent by @docharleythegeekqueen bolded in the text 

Feedback and Constructive Criticism Always Welcome

SPN AU Bingo Masterlist

Slowly and carefully you slid out of bed, careful not to wake the man sleeping next to you. Nick. The man who once claimed to love you. The man who’d given you a black eye just hours earlier. The man you couldn’t seem to break away from. The only solace you had was nights, when he’d drink himself to sleep and you could sneak out into your backyard to stare at the stars.

You poured yourself a glass of whiskey and slipped out the back door, walking down and taking a seat on the porch steps. You leaned against the railing, looking up into the night sky, counting the stars, sipping your whiskey. There had to be a way out of this hell, if only you could find it.

“Y/N...everything ok?” The voice startled you. You hadn’t expected another person to be out at almost 3am and you jumped, almost spilling your drink. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just...I see you out here every night…” Dean. It was Dean Winchester, your neighbor and former best friend until your boyfriend forbid you from speaking to him. “I miss you, kid.”

“I miss you too.” You couldn’t look at him. You were too ashamed. You’d shut him out of your life all because Nick told you to. Anything Nick told you to do, you’d done, and you had absolutely nothing to show for it but a complete loss of yourself. “M’fine. Sometimes I just like to come count the stars, ya know? Helps me sleep. Like when we were kids.”

“Yeah...that’s why I was out here too.” Dean hopped the fence and made his way to your back steps, taking a seat next to you. He looked you over, scanning every detail. You knew he’d see the bruises that your oversized flannel shirt didn’t cover. “Did he give you these bruises? And that black eye?”

“H-how did you - I never took the makeup off today. How did you know?”

“It’s swollen under your eye.” Dean spoke softly, running his finger gently along your face. “Y/N/N, tell me the truth. It’s me you’re talkin’ to. Does he hurt you? Is that why you don’t talk to me anymore? Because he told you not to?”

The lump formed in your throat and your eyes burned as you stared at him. All you could do was nod your head as the tears spilled over, hot and wet, soaking your cheeks. “I’ll kill him.” Dean seethed, about to get up and storm your house.

“No!” You managed to grab his arm and pull him back down next to you. “Please, no. I don’t want you to do anything stupid. He’s not worth it.”

“Y/N he’s hurting you. I can’t just let that go! Not when I lo -” You both froze, knowing exactly what Dean had been about to say but hadn’t. “I can’t lose my best friend. I won’t.”  

“Then help me,” you whispered. “Help me get away from him. Please. I’m not strong enough to do it alone, Dean.”

“You’re asking for help, kid.” Dean pulled you into his chest, resting his chin on top of your head while you cried. “Seems plenty strong to me.”

“I don’t feel that way,” you murmured against his chest.

“You’re gonna come stay at my house tonight.” Dean said. “Then first thing tomorrow I’m taking you to mom and dad’s to stay for awhile.”

“I can’t impose on them -”

“Are you kidding?” Dean laughed. “Mom’s always liked you more than me. She’ll be glad to have you. Plus, I’m planning on moving back to Lawrence in a few weeks once the lease on the house is up. Haven’t exactly had the chance to tell you since you haven’t been allowed to talk to me but once I rent a house out there you can stay with me instead.”

“Thank you,” you sighed in relief as Dean stood up and took your hand, walking you back to his house for the night.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled. “Look, I know you don’t want me to kill him but...you want me to kick his ass?”

You laughed in response, the first real laugh you’d let out in who knew how long, resting your head against Dean’s chest.

Weeks later, you were well established in Mary and John’s house. Dean was right, Mary did love having you there. Dean had made sure you had gotten new stuff since you never went back into your old house. He’d also made sure you’d been able to find a new job and he’d gotten you into therapy for everything you were dealing with. He’d been absolutely perfect. Today was the day he was coming back to Lawrence and you absolutely couldn’t wait.

You heard the door open and ran for the living room, meeting him at the door and attacking him in a hug. “Hello to you too.” Dean chuckled. “I found a house I think would be good for us but I want you to see it. I made an appointment for tomorrow.”

“Sounds great,” you smiled and finally let him all the way in.

“Brought some of your old stuff too,” he passed you your suitcase, from your old house, and you furrowed your eyebrows, noticing his bloodied and bruised knuckles. He didn’t have a single scratch on his face or anywhere else but both his hands were torn up.

“De - what did you do?”

“Look...I knew I was leaving and he didn’t know where...I couldn’t help it, Y/N/N, please don’t be mad.” Dean pled with you. “I wanted you to have your stuff back, especially the sentimental stuff, and I wanted him to get what he deserved.”

“I’m not mad. He deserved what he got. I just wanna make sure you’re alright,” you sighed.

“Do I look alright?” You nodded, launching yourself at him again and burying your face in his chest. “He’ll never hurt you again.” Dean said, rocking you back and forth on your feet, one hand tangled in your hair, the other rubbing your back.

“I know,” you murmured against his chest. “I’ve got you to protect me. Always.”

Dean Tags: 

@a-girl-who-loves-disney @adaliamalfoy @akshi8278 @alexandriajanae4 @amotleyworld @apeshit7x @ariannnawinchester @arryn-nyxx @aubreystilinski @autopistaaningunaparte @babydanixox @bakabozza @beacon-hills-chance-harbor @beckie1996 @blacktithe7 @born-to-be-his-baby88 @bringmesomepie56 @capsofwinchesters @captainradicalpassion @charliebradbury1104 @chickenmcsade @clarewinchester @d-s-winchester @dancingalone21 @deansgirl215 @deanssweetheart23 @deanswhiskeyveins @deanwinchesterisamazing @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @docharleythegeekqueen @dorned @dragontearsandunicornfears @duckieburns @duherica @elise-8t @ellathehonorarywinchester @ellen-reincarnated1967 @emmie2899 @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @escabell @evansrogerskitten @evilskank-inthemegacoven @fangirl-and-medstudent-help @feelmyroarrrr @flash2412 @gabavaldman @growningupgeek @hanginwithmanerds @holyfuckloueh @impalaimagining @itseverythingilike @iwantthedean @iwriteshortstuff @jamsrgang @jasvisha @jayankles @jensen-gal @jensen-jarpad @jjsoccer11 @jojo-nz @jotink78 @just-a-supernatural-sister @kalliravenne @kayteonline @keeryackles @kgbrenner @kittenofdoomage @kittycat-cas @lavieenlex @lenaabs @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @littlegreenplasticsoldier @lucyllesblog @mayasmedberg @meeshw777 @midnightsunflower @mirandaaustin93 @mogaruke @mrsbatesmotel53 @mrspadalackles @mrswhozeewhatsis @msdooos @my-supernatural-dreams @nichelle-my-belle @not-moose-one-shots @nothingeverdies @outerxorbit @percussiongirl2017 @percywinchester27 @primenumberscanbeintimidating @redunicorn10 @relatableantisocialchick @rhiannonj79 @riakie @riversong-sam @rlawson418 @ruined-by-destiel @ruprecht0420 @sabsi2222 @sammysflannels @sandlee44 @sayoshiona @serienjunkiegirl @silver-and-green @sis-tafics @skybinx-blog @sleepretreat @smoothdogsgirl @soobi89 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @starry-chaos @starswirlblitz @stilinski15 @stubby-the-dean @summoningsupernatural @supernatural-girl97 @supernatural-jackles @supernaturaldean67 @tarashari-tfp @teepartyy @the-life-of-a-loser @thelastxgoodthing @thereisnolumos @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thisismexxo @wayward-marvel-sommer1196 @waywardjoy @whit85-blog @wholelottajackles @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @wildfirewinchester @winchestdiaries @winchester-writes @winchesterprincessbride @winchesters-favorite-girl @xfanqirlinq @yellowtheremarvelfan @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

[vrenaewrites]

Songs of Accidental Evils: Fina.

Last year, I did a series on this blog where I talked about the playlist behind my first book, CIVIL BLOOD. I got a lot of good feedback from that and people overwhelmingly wanted me to do it again for the sequel, ACCIDENTAL EVILS. This book has a much darker tone, and its playlist was easily split into three parts: the general vibe of the book, songs related to River (the male MC), and songs related to Fina (the female MC).

no particular order, these are the songs related to Fina’s arc. If you don’t care for an explanation and just wanna hear the songs, here’s a link to the part 3 playlist!

1/23 blog: AE Playlist Part 3. Fina’s songs.

1. Never Again - Kelly Clarkson.

This is THE song to scream in your car after you have a breakup. “Give me that Sunday school answer, repent yourself away.”

2. Harder To Breathe – Maroon 5.

All about how you want to make someone pay for how they did you dirty. And boy does Fina make some people pay. “I have the tendency of getting very physical, so watch your step cause if I do you’ll need a miracle.”

3. Gasoline – Halsey.

A song about losing your shit. “Pointing fingers cause you’ll never take the blame like me?”

4. Roses – Meg and Dia.

I don’t know why this song makes me think of Fina or what it has to do with her story but it invoked some weird feelings in me which really influenced Fina’s actions in this book.

5. Ignorance - Paramore.

Fina’s middle finger to River and Papa both. “You treat me just like another stranger. Well it’s nice to meet you sir, I guess I’ll go. I best be on my way out. This is the best thing that could’ve happened, any longer and I wouldn’t have made it. It’s not a war no, it’s not a rapture. I’m just a person, but you can’t take it.”

6. Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac.

An entire subplot about Fina learning dream magic was cut for time but this song’s influence is still seen throughout her story. “I’ll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you. You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman who loves you.”

7. Stop Draggin My Heart Around - Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty.

Now THIS is a duet. Full of little jabs and snark and ache. “It’s hard to think about what you wanted. It’s hard to think about what you lost. This doesn’t have to be the big get-even. This doesn’t have to be anything at all.”

8. Octahate - Ryn Weaver.

Underrated as hell. All about the aftermath of a doomed romance and how a person can wreck you. “From the day I saw my heart start breaking, no one saved me.”

9. DLZ - TV On the Radio.

This is Fina’s theme song. Coming completely off the rails, being full of retribution for one person or entity, and the way rage can sneak up on you and completely warp you fundamentally. “This is beginning to feel like the bolt busted loose from the lever.”

10. For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic – Paramore.

Fina is the queen of being let down by...well, by anyone and everyone, actually. “I put my faith in you, so much faith and then you just threw it away.”

11. Saint Cecelia – The Foo Fighters.

My saint Cecelia. Spoilers.

12. Maneater - Nelly Furtado.

The outside prom confrontation scene. Spoilers.

13. That’s What You Get - Paramore.

Wow Paramore also helped write this book. The lessons you learn from getting hurt. “Take a seat we’re settling the final score.”

14. Turn Off the Light (Acoustic) - Nelly Furtado.

Isolation central. “There’s an achin inside my head, it’s tellin me you’re better off alone.”

15. Who Did That To You - John Legend.

One word: Justice. “Call the police, call the coroner, call up your priest, have ‘em warn ya. Won’t be no peace when I find that fool.”

16. Let it Burn - ZZ Ward.

Ever wanted to burn that shit down? This is the song for that. Badass woman doing badass things. “Out of control see, I’m gonna blow up your spot. You lit the spark, now you ain’t stopping this flame. You rolled the dice, now I’m bout to murder this game.”

17. Seven Nation Army - Postmodern Jukebox.

This is what Fina thinks her MO is. Righteous vengeance. Spoiler alert: it sort of is? But mostly isn’t. And this cover is SUPERB.

18. I Did Something Bad - Taylor Swift.

This IS Fina’s MO. Less righteous, more vengeful. “I can feel the flames on my skin, crimson red paint on my lips. If a man talks shit then I owe him nothin. I don’t regret it one bit cause he had it comin.”

19. Trouble - Taylor Swift.

“He was long gone when he met me and I realize the joke is on me. Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me.” Same vein as Octahate. Should have known better and now I’m the fool.

20. Pot Kettle Black - Tilly and the Wall.

Ivy and Autumn’s whole “garbage” exchange with Fina came right from this song. “The trash washes up to shore even in this landlocked place.”

21. Are You Bad? - Glitter Mini 9.

“I’ve got an ashtray for a heart, I’ve got a trash can for a mouth.” Act 3 Fina, all the way.

22. Favorite Transgressions - Sleigh Bells.

Also act 3 Fina in a BIG way. “My past is littered with the bones of men who were fools enough to sleep on me.” Do not fuck with Act 3 Fina y’all. Don’t fuck win Fina in general, actually. We know that by now, I think.

23. The Way I Do - Bishop Briggs.

Song full of longing and rejection. “You will never know my love. You will never feel the way I do.”

24. Favorite Color is Blue - Robert DeLong & K. Flay.

Man I love this song. A downward spiral into straight chaos. Feeling like a stranger in your own home. Living a lie. Being strung out and messed up.

25. Prayer in C - Lily Wood and The Prick.

Fina’s after song. “Don’t think I could forgive you.” Enough said.

26. Six Feet Under - Billie Eilish.

This is Fina’s after the after song. “If our grave was watered by the rain, would roses bloom?”

27. Seven Devils - Florence and the Machine.

This is Fina’s “Carrie” moment. Spoilers. “Holy water cannot help you now. See, I’ve come to burn your kingdom down. And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out. I’m gonna raise the stakes, I’m gonna smoke you out.”

28. Figures - Jessie Reyez.

Act I Fina. “I wish I could hurt you back. Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back?”

29. Pardon Me - Incubus.

A song about being sick of the world and the people in it, and wanting to just combust. That’s Fina all the time but especially in this book.

30. Blood in the Cut - K. Flay.

Badass song about being messed up and dangerous and unable to handle your own thoughts. “Take my head and kick it in, break some bread for all my sins. Say a word, do it soon. It’s too quiet in this room.”

31. Beautiful Disaster - 311.

“Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two” is basically Fina’s slogan.

[lirlovesfic]

The Choice

A Doctor Who fanfic

Summary: After GitF, the TARDIS brings the Doctor, Rose, and Mickey back to the estate to solve a problem involving the TARDIS herself. But when they see a familiar face, the face of someone who should not exist, they realize the problem is deeper than they thought and could endanger the Doctor’s very existence. Primary characters: Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, Jackie Tyler. Genres: Romance, mystery, adventure, drama, character study, HN AU, fobbed!Nine, sick TARDIS. Pairings: Nine/Rose, Ten/Rose Rating: Adult

Warning: brief, non-explicit depiction of domestic abuse

a/n: I am currently working on editing this chapter-by-chapter, with the hopes of completing a chapter a day until I catch up with myself. As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m doing it to try to get back into the swing of writing and to build some momentum in order to finish this. Also, there have been some tiny things nagging at me for a while (grammar, punctuation, etc.) so I’ll be correcting as many of them as I can find as I go. The story will not change. In fact, most of the changes are going to be so minor that I doubt anyone (besides myself) will notice. But to keep me on target, I’ll be posting it all here as I go, with links to the other websites it’s on. I hope you enjoy it.

Catch up: on AO3, on TSP, on ffnet

This chapter: on AO3, on TSP, on ffnet

Chapter Thirteen—London, 15 July 2007

The night sky glowed red and gold, reflecting the fire on the ground. Fire was everywhere, burning everything in its path. Golden sand to fields of red, trees of silver to towns and cities, everything was ablaze.

Screams filled the night…

John sat up in bed. As the sounds of a woman screaming continued, his sleep-fogged brain realized the cries existed in reality, not just his nightmares.

Rose, he thought.

Convinced that Jimmy had returned and she was in danger, he was on his feet, pulling on his jeans, and out the door within seconds.

Once outside however, it was apparent that the screams were coming from the floor below rather than from Rose's flat across the courtyard. It was Rita and Chuck again. But this time, instead of being angry, Rita was clearly frightened.

John ran down the walkway and headed down the stairwell. Behind him, doors opened as the residents of the Estate again turned out to witness the spectacle, drawn by the same urge that drove people to slow down to witness an auto accident.

When he got to their floor, he found Chuck grasping Rita by the shoulders and shaking her. No one was moving to aid her. A second later, Chuck was on his knees, one arm behind his head, held in place by the pressure John was placing with his thumb and middle finger on his palm and the back of his hand.

"That's enough!" John ordered. Chuck struggled to get away, and John increased the pressure on his hand. "No more! How many stupid apes do I have to deal with in one day?" His voice was laden with disgust. He turned his head and scowled at the crowd. "And what's wrong with the rest of you? Why is it that I'm the only one helping her? No, you're all satisfied to stand around gawking while a woman gets hurt. Useless, the lot of you!"

On the other side of the courtyard, Rose woke to the sounds of screaming. Her first instinct was to go back to sleep. When she was growing up, screaming in the middle of the night wasn't uncommon on the Estate. Her mother had always forbidden her from leaving the flat to witness that dark side of the neighborhood, and as a young child there had been nothing she could do about it anyway.

But she was no longer a young child. She had faced Slitheen and werewolves, Sycorax and Daleks; humans didn't hold the same fears for her as they once had. She slipped on her shoes and headed out of the flat.

The commotion was emanating from the building across the way. She crossed to the railing, but despite the streetlights, she wasn't able to identify who was involved in the fight. It was just too dark.

A commanding voice carried across the courtyard. "I said no more, so knock it off!"

John, she thought.

"Knock it off!" he shouted again.

Rose pushed her way through the gathering crowd and ran flat out down the stairs and across to the other building. Even though she was in the best shape she had been in since she was seven, she was still out of breath by the time she reached the floor where John was.

The Estate was fairly small, and when she had lived there she had known most of the people who lived on it, but she was still surprised when she recognized the rowing couple. Her friend Rita was standing with her back against the wall of the building, one hand cupping her cheek. Even in the dim light coming from the courtyard and from the open doors of the nearby flats, Rose could see she was crying.

John stood in the middle of the walkway behind Rita's longtime boyfriend, Chuck, who was currently kneeling in front of him and whimpering, Chuck's right hand held high behind his head between two of John's strong fingers.

At her appearance, both Rita and Chuck froze, as if the shock at seeing her had made them forget the row that had brought her there.

"Rose?" Rita asked incredulously.

"I thought your boyfriend killed you," Chuck said.

John, however, didn't seem surprised at all to see her. He jerked his head towards the flat.

"Rose, take Rita inside while I finish dealing with this stupid ape here," he ordered.

Rose wrapped her arm around Rita's shoulders and led her into the flat. She shut the door behind them.

The flat was smaller than the one Rose had grown up in, a twin in layout and size to Mickey's only far cleaner. The front door opened up to a small living room, barely large enough for the chair, sofa and television that were in it. On one side of the room were doors that led to the kitchen and bathroom. The single bedroom was in the back.

Rose led Rita to the sofa, and they both sat down. Rose spotted a box of tissues nearby and handed Rita a couple.

"So, when did you get back? I thought you were still travelin'," Rita said. She wiped her face with the tissue and blew her nose loudly.

"I've been back about a week," Rose told her. "But that's not important right now. What happened?"

"Oh, you know Chuck. Same ol', same ol'."

Rose sighed. "What did he do this time?"

"He's been shaggin' everythin' in a skirt," Rita told her. "We've been rowin' 'bout it, and this time, well…"

It was obvious what she meant. There was a large bruise forming on her left cheek and jaw, and her left eye was beginning to swell.

"Rita, how long are you gonna let him do this to you?" Rose asked. "You need to kick him out. For good this time."

"I want to," Rita said. Rose raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "No. Seriously. After this I'm done. But I can't kick him out. Flat's in his name."

Raised voices carried through the thin door to the flat. Chuck was cursing at John. They couldn't hear what John said in response, but his tone was even and firm.

"You must have somewhere to go," Rose said. "I know you have some family somewhere. What about your mum?"

As the cursing outside continued, Rita shook her head. "Can't go there. Mum's new boyfriend is creepy, yeah? Stares at me all the time."

Rose sighed. "Been there. What about Marie? Or Joe?" she asked, naming Rita's siblings. Both lived only minutes away.

"Marie and her husband have three kids now, and his brother is livin' with them too. And Joe's in a bedsit. You know how they are. There's barely enough room for him, let alone me." She paused thoughtfully. "Might be able to stay wi' Dad for a bit. He's always hated Chuck. His flat's pretty small and he's got his girlfriend and her kids there, but I could probably sleep on the sofa for a couple weeks."

"Sounds like a plan," Rose said. "Next step we call him, let him know you're comin'. Where's your phone?"

Rita pointed at the small table crammed between the sofa and the chair. Rose handed it to her and then headed back outside to give her some privacy.

Across from the door, John was leaning against a concrete support beam, arms crossed in front of his chest. He was alone.

"Where's Chuck?" she asked.

"Gone," he told her. "For now. But he'll be back." He jerked his head in the direction of the flat. "Is she okay?"

Rose shrugged. "She will be, if she doesn't take him back again." She crossed the walkway and rested her arms on the railing. The crowd that had formed in the courtyard and the balconies of the other buildings was dwindling as people returned to their homes. John joined her at the railing.

"Everyone's going home," she said.

"Stands to reason. Show's over."

At the sound of the door opening behind them, they both turned. Rita stood silhouetted in the doorway, the light from the flat shining out from behind her, illuminating the walkway.

"Joe's comin' to stay tonight. That's my brother," Rita said, explaining who Joe was for John's benefit. "We'll figure out everythin' else in the morning."

"I'll stay until he comes," Rose told her. As Rita reentered the flat, Rose turned to John. "You wanna come in too?"

"Nah. I'm fine here."

Rose nodded and began to head back into the flat, but before she crossed the threshold she turned back. He had returned to leaning on the post with his arms crossed in front of him. He looked like a security guard or a bouncer at a club.

Or simply just her first Doctor.

He gave her a small smile, and she smiled back before rejoining Rita.

~oOo~

Less than half an hour later, Rita's brother arrived. He and Rita both thanked Rose and John for their help in dealing with Chuck. After the door to the flat had closed behind them, John and Rose remained in the walkway. When neither moved to leave, an awkward silence descended between them.

"What time d'you think it is?" Rose asked after a moment.

"About half three, I imagine," John told her.

"Well, I guess I should get home," she said.

"Yeah, you probably want to get back to bed."

"Not really. Actually, I'm wide awake."

"That'll be the adrenaline in your system," he said. "Fight or flight response. Normal reaction to a row, even if you aren't directly involved in it." He let out an irritated huff. "I'm just glad her brother's here to sort it. I'm tired of doin' it. This whole thing's a bit too domestic for me."

She grinned. "She was lucky to have you here to help her."

He grunted noncommittally. "Nothin' anyone else wouldn't do."

"Liar," she said, and she grinned at him affectionately for a moment before turning serious again. "No one else was helpin' her. Only you."

"And you," he said pointedly.

"We make a good team," she said.

"That we do," he agreed.

A light breeze blew through the walkway. Rose wrapped her arms tightly around herself and shivered. "Might be July, but it's still cold at 3 in the morning."

"I'd offer you my jumper, but I didn't put it on before I left my flat. All I've got is my T-shirt."

She grinned at him again. "Yeah, I noticed," she said cheekily.

John raised his eyebrows at the overt flirt. Before he could reply, she shivered again. He frowned. "You need to get inside." He paused for a moment and then continued hesitantly, "I don't suppose you wanna go have a cup of tea with me."

"What, now?" she asked. "Dunno if anything's open, and I'm not exactly dressed for it." She was still wearing what she had worn to bed, an oversized sleep shirt, bright pink and patterned with something that wasn't clear in the dim light. Underneath she was wearing exercise shorts, and on her feet were her trainers, but no socks.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I noticed," he said. "What's that on your shirt? Looks like… little moons wearing nightcaps?"

Her eyes widened, and she quickly glanced down at herself. She laughed nervously. "Uh, no, actually. Actually they're… bananas in nightcaps."

He grinned. "Bananas are good. Full of potassium. Just never thought of 'em as sleepwear."

"It was a gift," she explained.

He nodded. "Actually… about the tea… I meant in my flat. I don't have much in, but I've got that. So, wanna come up?"

She bit her lip and smiled shyly. "Yeah, okay. I'd like that."

"Fantastic."

~oOo~

As John led them into his flat, Rose looked around the main room. It was Spartan in appearance: nothing was out of place, not a cup, not old takeaway containers, not even a piece of cast off clothing. In some ways it was exactly what she would have expected, stark, with no nonsense furnishings and nothing beyond the bare essentials, exactly the opposite of her mother's flat. There were no pictures on the wall, no photos of family, no stray paperbacks or magazines or tabloids spread out over the table and floor. Even the rundown condition of the worn furniture and the threadbare carpet—worn down to the floorboards in spots—in the room seemed right. They reminded her of the metal grating and the tears on the jump seat in the console room of the TARDIS.

But it still seemed wrong that the Doctor, even a human version of the Doctor who didn't remember he was the Doctor, should live in a tiny, rundown flat on the Estate and not a bigger-on-the-inside Time and Space ship that traveled among the stars.

"You go sit down while I make the tea," he said. "You take milk or sugar?"

"Both," she told him, still shivering.

John frowned. "Hang on one minute." He disappeared into an adjoining room and returned with a blanket—and his leather jacket. After dropping the blanket on the sofa, he handed the jacket to her. "Put this on," he ordered. "I'll be right back."

As he left the room, she slipped on his jacket. She had worn it before, and it was just as warm as she remembered. As she wrapped herself in it, she clutched the collar tightly closed and buried her nose into the deceptively soft leather. Wearing it felt like being enveloped in a big hug from the Doctor, something she hadn't had since he had left a week earlier. She inhaled deeply, taking in the scents of the leather and his aftershave and him. Her mouth curved into a small smile, a smile that slowly faded. Even though he was here, she missed him, missed how well he had known her, missed their shared history—a history that hadn't happened for him yet.

And she missed his next self, his thick brown hair and sideburns, his brown pinstriped suit, his deep, chocolate brown eyes that could see into her soul…

Whether blue eyes or brown, whether leather or pinstripes, she missed the Doctor. John might be the Doctor, but with his memory gone he was missing an enormous part of who he was, and she missed that part of him.

Still shivering a little, she sat down on the sofa and pulled the blanket over herself. I just hope the Doctor and Mickey sort this soon, she thought.

~oOo~

A few minutes later, John carried two mugs into the room. He stopped just inside the doorway. Rose was on the sofa, buried under the blanket he had left for her. Peeking out from under the blanket was the collar of his leather coat.

She was staring off into space, lost in thought and frowning slightly. When she caught sight of him she gave him a bright smile.

"Warmer?" he asked as he crossed over to her.

She nodded. "Loads."

"Good." He handed her one of the mugs and joined her on the sofa.

"Ta," she said. She took a sip. "Mmm, good."

"So how do you know Rita and Chuck?" he asked.

"Rita and I were in school together. Chuck was in the same band as Jimmy. We used to all hang out together." She paused for a moment. "Y'know, I used to be so jealous of the two of them after Jimmy took off, but it didn't take me long to realize I was the lucky one, yeah? If Jimmy hadn't left, that could have been me in there."

John shook his head. "You're too smart for that. It may have taken you a bit, but you would have eventually wised up and dumped him."

"I'd like to think that was true, but I dunno," she said. "I was really messed up back then. Would have done almost anything to keep him."

"You seemed a little down before, when I came back with the tea," he said. "Is that what you were thinking about?"

"No," she said. "Was actually thinking about something else." She paused, as if she was wondering what to say, or if she should say anything at all. He waited her out, hoping she would open up to him. It must have worked, because after a moment she began to talk again. "'S just, I needed to talk to someone, but when I rang him I couldn't get through."

His stomach tightened into a knot. For days he had forgotten, or intentionally ignored, the fact that she had spent the last two years traveling with someone. An older man, according to the newspaper.

"The person you'd been traveling with?" he asked. He forced himself to use a light tone, rather than the jealous growl that threatened to come out.

She looked taken aback at the question. "Yes, actually. He was supposed to be back by now, and when I tried to call him I couldn't get through."

"So you're worried."

"Yeah."

"Is there anything I can do?"

She shrugged. "Not really."

"Why don't you tell me about him," he said.

Her brow furrowed, and she sank her teeth into her lower lip, an unconscious habit that John had discovered usually meant she was nervous.

"Uh… I don't know what to say," she said. "What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want to tell me. Why don't you start with his name?" he suggested. "How you started traveling with him. Where you went."

"Well, his name's the Do—I mean, his name's… James McCrimmon, but everyone calls him the Doctor," she said. "And he travels, all over. Like, everywhere. We've been to Scotland, Anc—Rome, New… uh, New York, Utah, France." That last location was accompanied by a tiny frown, but then her face cleared. "Once we were headed to Naples, but we ended up going to Cardiff instead. He said he was gonna take me to Barcelona, but we haven't gone yet."

"He doesn't have a job? He just travels around? What, like on holiday?"

" 'S more than that. Wherever he goes, he helps people."

"You said he's a doctor. Is he part of a group… like Doctors Without Borders?"

She shook her head. "He doesn't help like that. Well, sometimes I s'pose, but mostly not. He just helps people with whatever they need. He's… brilliant. Can do most anything he sets his mind to. And I help him."

"Like an assistant?"

"No," she said. "Not an assistant. More like… a friend, yeah?" She met his eyes. "I try to help him, as much as I can, but I don't think he really needs my help." She paused, just for a moment, before she continued in a softer tone. "See, he's all alone. His family's all gone. Mostly I think I'm just someone to keep him company."

He searched her face. The look of melancholy she had worn earlier had rapidly changed to merriment while she was talking about her travels with the Doctor. Now it had just as quickly turned into sadness.

"Rose, were you…"

"Was I what?"

"Never mind. None of my business."

"No, what?"

He hesitated, just for a second, before asking what he really wanted to know. "Were you and he…"

Her mouth twisted into a small smile. "No," she said. "No, we weren't. Aren't. We're just friends."

Without conscious thought he took her hand and squeezed it. "You wanna know what I think? I think, wherever he is, he's probably fine," he told her. "He probably just got held up somewhere. And Rose Tyler, I think you're absolutely fantastic. If he thinks of you as just someone to keep him company… then I don't care how brilliant he is, he's a complete idiot."

She burst out laughing. "If you knew, if you had any idea…"

He gave her a wide grin. "And you can tell him I said that."

"Oh, I will. Believe me, I will."

Still chuckling, she stretched and then winced.

John frowned. "Is your back bothering you again?"

"A little bit," she answered.

"Did you have a hot soak before bed?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, and took some paracetamol. It helped a bit, but what really helped was that thing you did back at the garage. What was it called?"

"It's a form of acupressure. Take off the jacket and turn around."

She slowly slipped off the jacket and set it on the edge of the sofa before turning and facing the opposite direction.

Now that she had taken his jacket off, it became obvious that the sleep shirt she wore was thinner than the shirt she had worn to work, and in the light of the room it was also obvious she wasn't wearing a bra. That in addition to being in his flat in the middle of the night made the situation far more intimate than it had been in the shop in late afternoon. His heart pounded in his chest, and it felt like butterflies had taken up residence in his stomach. He took a deep, steadying breath.

Although his hands weren't cold, he vigorously rubbed them together and then cupped them over his mouth and breathed on them, warming them before lowering them to her shoulders. She shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked in a low voice.

"No," she said softly.

He swallowed hard before beginning to gently massage her shoulders and back. "Take deep, slow breaths," he said.

He worked his hands from a spot between her shoulder blades upwards to the back of her neck. Her skin was so warm, so soft. She sighed, and it was all he could do to prevent himself from turning the gentle massage into a lover's caress, prevent himself from dipping his head and placing kisses on the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. He moved closer, close enough to smell a trace of her shampoo. It was intoxicating. He closed his eyes and took in the scent as his thumbs moved in circles over the pressure points on the base of her skull. With a quiet hum, she relaxed against his fingertips.

Finally, after several minutes he had to stop as any more would have done more harm than good. He moved his hands back to her shoulders, reluctant to completely pull his hands away from her.

She turned to face him. Her eyes were wide and dark.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"You're very wel—" he began.

"Not just for the massage," she said. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for helping Rita, and for dealing with Jimmy, and for listening to me talk. Thank you for just being here with me." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, and then rubbed the spot with her fingertips. Impulsively he pulled her into his arms and leaned back against the back of the sofa. She rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled against him, bonelessly molding her body to his. He rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Rose Tyler, I'm so glad I met you," he said.

"Me too."