#if i try hard and believe in myself maybe the second chapter will push me to 90k

[chaengluva]

Assigned To You

Nerd! Loser! Ellie Williams x Fem! Popular! Reader

WC: 1.9k (soz, short ik)

Warnings: reader crying (emotional drunk), fluff

Part 5: Prev/Next

Let me know it you wanna be in the taglist! (this is the second last chapter, maybe last....) It depends

The weight of guilt had been like an anchor around your chest ever since that night. The words you said to Ellie still echoed in your mind, each repetition making your regret sharper and deeper. She had been nothing but understanding, but you had let your fear control you. You had been terrified of the world, of what people would say, of losing the life you’d built for yourself. But you never stopped to consider how much you could lose by pushing her away, by denying yourself and your feelings.

The next few days felt like a blur. You went through the motions—school, meals with your family, awkward interactions with friends—but all you could think about was Ellie. Her laughter. Her smile. The way she had looked at you when she still believed in what the two of you could be. You’d shattered that belief, and now you were left trying to piece things back together, only to realize how much damage had already been done.

It wasn’t just Ellie that you were worried about. You were terrified of your own reflection. Every time you thought about the future, about how things were going to change, your heart filled with dread. What if you lost everything? What if the people who claimed to be your friends turned their backs on you? What if the world didn’t accept you for who you really were?

But in your heart, you knew there was no going back. You couldn’t stay in the shadow of fear forever. Not when the person you cared about most was Ellie. Not when you knew she deserved more than the broken apology you had given her. She deserved the truth. She deserved someone who could stand by her and love her openly, without hesitation or shame.

You couldn’t pretend anymore. You couldn’t run from what you were feeling. And so, when you woke up that morning, something inside you snapped. You had to face this. You had to face her, and more importantly, you had to face yourself.

You got out of bed and walked over to your desk. Your phone sat there, still glowing from last night’s message. Ellie’s words had meant everything to you. They were a lifeline, a sign that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for redemption. But you knew you couldn’t fix everything over text. The only way forward was to show up, to prove that you were ready to take responsibility for the hurt you had caused.

It was early, and you hadn’t had your coffee yet, but you didn’t care. You were already on your way out the door before your brain could convince you otherwise. The drive to Ellie’s house was a blur of anxiety and anticipation. Your palms were sweaty, your stomach in knots. You kept picturing the look on her face—the way she had looked at you with those sad eyes, like she wasn’t sure whether she could ever trust you again.

When you arrived at her house, your heart was pounding in your chest. You hesitated at the door, raising your hand to knock. What if she didn’t want to see you? What if she didn’t care anymore? But before you could overthink it any further, the door opened, and there she was—standing in front of you, arms crossed, eyes guarded.

“What do you want?” Ellie’s voice was flat, devoid of the warmth it had once held when she greeted you. It stung, but you understood. You had earned that coldness.

You swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself. “Ellie, I’m so sorry,” you began, your voice trembling. “I said those things because I was scared. I’ve been scared of what people will think, scared of losing everything, but… I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself for pushing you away.”

Ellie didn’t move. Her expression softened for a moment, but she didn’t let go of her distance. You could see the hurt in her eyes, the way it still lingered even though she wasn’t showing it. She was hurting too, but she wasn’t going to let you off the hook so easily.

“I… I can’t be a lesbian. It’ll ruin everything—my reputation, my friends, everything I’ve worked for. And I know that makes me sound selfish and awful, but it’s the truth. I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t know how to deal with us.”

The words hung in the air between you, but instead of the anger you expected, you saw Ellie’s eyes soften just a little more. She stepped forward, closing the distance between you. For a brief moment, you thought she might forgive you, that maybe you could fix this, but then her words hit you like a punch to the gut.

“That didn’t mean anything,” she said, her voice firm. “You can’t just cry your way out of this, Y/N. You hurt me, and you need to figure out who you are before you drag me along with you.”

Her words stung more than you could have imagined. You nodded, your throat tight, unable to say anything more. What could you say? How could you make her understand that you didn’t want to hurt her, that you hadn’t meant to push her away? You had to leave. You had to let her have the space she needed, but that didn’t make the hurt any less.

You turned and walked away, feeling more broken than ever. But as you reached the end of her driveway, you realized something. You were still carrying the weight of the apology you needed to give, the one you hadn’t quite figured out yet. You couldn’t give up now. You couldn’t let this be the end.

That night, after a long and difficult day at school, you sat at your desk, pencil in hand. You weren’t an artist. You didn’t have a natural talent for drawing. But you needed to do something, anything, to show Ellie that you were sorry. You weren’t sure if it would fix anything, but maybe it would show her that you still cared, that you weren’t just trying to sweep everything under the rug.

You sketched, your hand moving almost instinctively, guided by the memories of her—her smile, the way her hair framed her face, the way she looked at you when she was happy. When you were done, you looked at the drawing, and your heart sank. It was awful. The proportions were off, the lines were messy, and her face looked nothing like the perfect image you had in your mind. But it was real. It was from the heart.

The next day, at school, you sought Ellie out. You had no idea how she would respond, but you knew you had to try. You approached her in the hallway, the drawing folded in your hands. She was standing with her friends, talking and laughing, but when she saw you, she excused herself and came over.

“Ellie,” you said, your voice quiet but steady. “I made this for you. I know it’s not much, and I know I’ve been horrible, but… I just wanted you to have it.”

Ellie looked at you for a long moment, then glanced down at the folded paper in your hands. She took it slowly, unfolding it with care. You held your breath as she studied the drawing, her expression unreadable. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, like it might explode any second.

Then, to your surprise, she laughed. “Is this supposed to be me?” she asked, her voice light, but not mocking. There was a small, amused smile on her lips.

You flushed with embarrassment. “Yeah… I’m not exactly Picasso.”

Ellie smiled again, the first real smile you had seen from her in days. “It’s terrible,” she said, shaking her head, but there was no malice in her voice. “But it’s kind of sweet. Thanks, Y/N.”

The tension in your chest loosened just a little. It wasn’t perfect, and you didn’t know if it would fix everything, but it was a start. It was a step in the right direction.

But even as you felt a small flicker of hope, you knew there was still more to do. You couldn’t ignore Olivia and the damage she had caused, the lies she had spread about you and Ellie. You had to stand up for yourself, for your truth.

You found Olivia later that day, leaning against her locker with a group of her friends. When she saw you, she dismissed them with a wave and turned to face you. Her smirk was as sharp as ever, her eyes gleaming with something like amusement.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Y/N,” she drawled. “What do you want?”

You squared your shoulders, refusing to let her intimidate you. “I know what you did,” you said, your voice steady, even though your hands were shaking. “You had no right to twist things and tell Ellie I was talking about her.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow, her smirk growing wider. “I was just being honest. Ellie deserves to know what kind of person you are.”

You scoffed. “You’re unbelievable. Why are you so obsessed with me? Is it because you can’t stand the idea of me being happy?”

Olivia’s expression darkened. “You’re pathetic, Y/N. You think you can be a lesbian and still keep your perfect little life? If you go through with this, I’ll make sure everyone knows who you really are.”

Her words stung, but you stood your ground. You didn’t need her validation anymore. “Do whatever you want, Olivia,” you said coldly. “I don’t care anymore.”

You turned on your heel and walked away, your heart pounding in your chest. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel afraid. You felt defiant. If Olivia wanted to try and ruin you, fine. You were done hiding.

Later that evening, you sat in your room, your phone in hand. Olivia’s words replayed in your mind, but instead of fear, you felt something else—something stronger. You were ready to take control of your story, to stop letting others dictate who you were.

You snapped a picture of yourself—no makeup, messy hair, raw and vulnerable. It wasn’t the most flattering picture, but it was real. It was you. And for the first time in weeks, you didn’t care what anyone else thought.

You uploaded the picture to Instagram with the caption: “This girl is a girl kisser.”

Your finger hovered over the post button for a moment, but then you took a deep breath and pressed it. The photo went live, and almost immediately, the likes and comments started rolling in.

“Proud of you, Y/N ”

“You’re so brave omg!”

“Girl kisser AND stunning? Unfair.”

“Love this for you!”

Not a single bad comment. Except, of course, for Olivia, who wrote, “You’re disgusting.” But you ignored her. She didn’t matter anymore.

Then, just as you were about to put your phone down, you saw a new message pop up. It was from Ellie.

“I saw your post. I’m proud of you, Y/N.”

You stared at the message, your heart swelling with a mixture of relief and gratitude. It wasn’t everything. It wasn’t the happy ending you had imagined, but it was a start. And for the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of hope. Maybe things weren’t perfect, but you were getting there. And that was enough.

Taglist: @vahnilla @radioheadfan699 @defnoteleonor @robinphobia @liztreez @deathbydollz @hemmo01 @soodle-noup @reneesub @ellensmithxo@lamorenita @kissedberries @liasxeatt @smiths-fan--13 @0phantom0

[yoomiwrites]

Aromatic Rush⁵

Summary: Reader has an easy life in the navy. Until Aokiji comes to them with a mission that calls more into question than they thought.

Note: You know the rules — next chapter at friday or after 20 reactions :D

The door clicked shut behind Kuzan, and for a long moment, I just stood there, motionless. My heart was still hammering in my chest, and I felt the cold seeping into my bones—both from the room and from the lingering fear.

I couldn’t stay like this. I needed to move, to do something, anything, to break the tension that still clung to the air. With trembling hands, I walked over to the small control panel by the door and switched on the heating. The gentle hum of the system kicked in, and soon enough, warmth began to fill the space, slowly easing the chill from my body.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to calm down. My mind was still racing, replaying the scene with Tanaka over and over again. I could hardly believe it had happened. And yet, there was no denying the lingering scent of fear—his fear—that still hung faintly in the air. A part of me felt guilty for feeling relieved. If Kuzan hadn’t shown up when he did…

I shook the thought away, trying not to dwell on it.

The warmth from the heating was starting to work its way through the room, but my hands were still cold, trembling slightly from the adrenaline that hadn’t quite left my system. I sat down, trying to steady my breathing, when the door opened again with a soft creak.

I looked up, expecting to see Kuzan’s familiar figure—and there he was.

He stepped inside, the cold air that had followed him earlier now completely gone, replaced by something much warmer. In each hand, he carried a small cup, steam rising from both of them.

“Sorry about earlier,” he said casually, walking over as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Didn’t mean to freeze the place over.”

I blinked, caught off guard by how… relaxed he seemed. Like he hadn’t just walked in on a near-disaster. Like he hadn’t just scared a man so badly that he wet himself. Kuzan was back to his usual self, calm and laid-back, his easy demeanor almost comforting in its consistency.

Without another word, he handed me one of the cups. I took it, feeling the welcome heat of the hot chocolate seep into my hands. The smell of cocoa filled the room, a stark contrast to the icy tension from moments ago.

“Thanks,” I murmured, grateful for the warmth. I took a small sip, letting the hot liquid soothe my nerves, even if only a little.

He sat down across from me, leaning back in his usual lazy way, the other cup resting in his hand. For a brief moment, there was silence. The warmth from the heating and the hot chocolate slowly pushed the cold from my mind, but the memory of what had just happened still lingered.

I swallowed hard, my voice quiet as I broke the silence. “I… I’m embarrassed,” I admitted, staring down at the cup in my hands. “I didn’t expect you, an admiral, to see me like that.”

Kuzan glanced at me, his expression unreadable for a second, before his lips quirked up in a small, lazy smile. “I see it more often than you’d think,” he said, his tone casual, as if he were talking about something mundane. But there was a seriousness beneath his words, a quiet anger simmering under the surface.

I looked up at him, surprised. “You do?”

He nodded, his gaze distant for a moment, as if he were recalling memories he didn’t particularly enjoy. “Yeah. Men thinking they can do whatever they want, take whatever they want from women. It’s disgusting.” His voice had grown colder again, but not in the way it had earlier. This was a controlled cold, a quiet anger kept in check. “I don’t tolerate it. Not like that. I like flirting, but not...like that.”

I didn’t know what to say. The tension from earlier had shifted, replaced by something heavier, something more serious. For all his laid-back attitude, there was something in Kuzan that ran deep—a sense of justice, maybe, or a fierce protectiveness. I had never seen him like this before.

Silence fell between us again, but this time it felt more like a pause than the awkward kind. I took another sip of the hot chocolate, the warmth now spreading through me fully.

I needed to change the subject. Something safer, something that didn’t make my heart race in a way I couldn’t quite explain.

Clearing my throat, I placed the cup down and sat up a little straighter. “I, uh… I did find something,” I said, my voice a little steadier now. “About the signal.”

Kuzan’s attention shifted immediately, his eyes sharpening with interest. “Oh?”

I nodded, glad to have something else to focus on. “It took a while to figure out, but I picked up a signal that’s been running parallel to our communications. It’s faint, but it’s there, like a shadow signal. It can intercept our transmissions, but… I don’t know where it’s coming from. I couldn’t trace it.”

His expression didn’t change, but I could see him processing the information. He leaned forward slightly, his cup resting on his knee. “A shadow signal, huh? You sure?”

“As sure as I can be,” I replied, my voice soft but certain. “It’s not one of ours, and it’s not coming from the equipment here. It’s being transmitted somewhere else, but I haven’t been able to pinpoint where.”

Kuzan was quiet for a moment, his gaze thoughtful. “Interesting,” he murmured, more to himself than to me. “So someone’s listening in.”

I nodded, my stomach tightening slightly. “It looks that way.”

He let out a slow breath, leaning back in his chair once more. His relaxed posture had returned, but there was a sharpness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “Well, I guess that gives us something to work with.”

I felt a small surge of relief. At least I had found something. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“Good work,” Kuzan said, his voice softer now, almost like he was speaking to himself. He took a long sip from his cup, then added, “It’s a start.”

I glanced at him, my cheeks still warm, though this time not from the hot chocolate. His presence, though calming in some ways, still made me feel unsettled, unsure of where I stood with him. He’d been so distant and then so close, protective but teasing. And now, he was back to his usual self—aloof, but present.

I swallowed, grateful for the distraction the work provided. “I’ll keep looking into it,” I said. “I just… wanted to update you.”

Kuzan gave me a slow nod, his eyes half-lidded again as he finished his hot chocolate. He glanced at me, and for a brief moment, there was something unreadable in his gaze. “You did good,” he repeated, this time with more finality. “But don’t push yourself too hard. I can handle the heavy stuff.”

I wanted to protest, to tell him that I could do more, but I held back. He had a way of making things seem lighter, even when they weren’t.

“Thanks,” I said quietly, feeling the weight of everything—Tanaka, the signal, Kuzan—settling in my chest.

He stood up then, stretching his arms above his head with a lazy yawn. “I’ll check in again soon,” he said, turning to the door. “Three days, hmm?”

I nodded. “Three days.”

With one last glance in my direction, Kuzan smirked. “Stay warm.”

And then he was gone, leaving me alone in the warm room, the empty cup of hot chocolate in my hands, and the lingering feeling that nothing about this situation was simple anymore.

2 days later.

It was one of those rare moments when I had enough time to sit down with my comrades for lunch. The canteen buzzed with the usual chatter, laughter, and clinking of plates. I sat at the far end of the table, picking at my food, half-listening to the conversations around me. My mind was still partly occupied with the signals I had discovered and the deadline Kuzan had set for me, but it was nice to be around familiar faces for a while.

That was, until the conversation took an unexpected turn.

“You heard about the rumor, right?” one of my colleagues, Rin, leaned in conspiratorially, her voice just loud enough for our group to hear.

“Rumor?” I asked, only half-paying attention as I poked at my rice.

“Yeah, apparently one of the high-ranking officials has something going on with Admiral Kizaru.” Rin raised her eyebrows suggestively, and the others at the table leaned in, eyes wide with interest.

I blinked. “With Admiral Kizaru?”

“Yeah, hard to believe, right?” another colleague, Sato, chimed in. “I mean, the guy’s an admiral. He could have anyone. Why would he be interested in someone from the lower ranks?”

Rin nodded. “Exactly! It’s not just the rank difference—it’s a whole different world. Admirals and regular employees? Not happening.”

I frowned slightly, something about the conversation tugging at my thoughts. “Why does that matter?” I asked, my voice quieter than I intended. “I mean… can’t you choose who you love?”

There was a brief silence as my friends turned their attention to me. Rin grinned mischievously, her eyes twinkling. “Well, look who’s suddenly an expert on admirals and love.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Sato jumped in, leaning forward with an exaggerated smirk. “Is that because you’re spending so much time with Admiral Kuzan lately?”

“What? No!” I sputtered, my face heating up instantly.

“Oh, come on,” Rin teased. “You’ve been holed up in that snail compartment with him for days! What’s really going on?”

The sudden focus on me made my cheeks burn even hotter. I could feel all their eyes on me, waiting for an answer, and the more I tried to think of something to say, the worse it got.

“There’s nothing going on!” I managed to stammer, waving my hands defensively. “He’s just… he’s just giving me work to do!”

“Is that what they call it now?” Sato smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rin leaned in closer. “You did look pretty emotional last time we saw you. Too harsh in bed, maybe?”

The table erupted in laughter, but I could hardly hear it over the rush of blood in my ears. My whole face must have been beet red. “N-No!” I stuttered. “I wasn’t—I mean, it’s not like that at all! He’s just… he’s just…”

My mind scrambled for words, and in my panic, I blurted out the worst possible thing. “He’s quite handsome, but that's all…”

The silence that followed was instant and deafening. I blinked, confused as to why everyone had suddenly gone quiet. My face was burning, but I risked a glance around the table, expecting more teasing. Instead, my friends were frozen, their eyes wide, not looking at me—but past me.

Oh no.

Slowly, I turned in my seat, already dreading what I was about to see.

And there they were.

Kizaru and Kuzan stood just a few steps away from our table, both admiral coats flaring slightly as they walked past. Kizaru had that lazy, amused smile on his face, his long fingers tucked casually into his pockets. But it was Kuzan—his tall frame and familiar, unbothered expression—that made my stomach drop to my feet.

He was glancing down at me with that same cool, detached look, his expression unreadable. And then, as if the universe wanted to make my life even worse, he gave no indication that he’d heard a word, just walking on like nothing had happened.

Except for one thing: Kizaru chuckled, a low, amused sound that sent a wave of mortification crashing over me.

I wanted to melt into the floor.

Kuzan didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He just walked on, his long strides carrying him further and further away, while Kizaru’s quiet laughter echoed in my ears.

I stared at the table, unable to look up, my hands gripping my fork so tightly that my knuckles turned white. The silence from my friends was even worse than the teasing.

“Oh… oh no,” I muttered, my voice barely a whisper. I had to be imagining things. There was no way Kuzan had heard that. Right?

But as I dared to glance back up at my friends, their wide eyes and stunned expressions told me all I needed to know.

Rin was the first to break the silence, her voice shaky with poorly suppressed laughter. “Well… this just got a whole lot more interesting.”

I woke up the next morning with a knot in my stomach that felt like it had been twisted too tightly. The memory of yesterday’s canteen debacle replayed in my head on an endless loop. Every time I thought about it, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment all over again. Kuzan had definitely heard everything. And worse, Kizaru had laughed, meaning he probably caught it, too. I felt like I’d never be able to face them again.

But, unfortunately, life didn’t work that way. I still had my job to do, and Kuzan was expecting results. So, swallowing my pride and trying not to think too hard about my own mortification, I headed into the HQ.

The day started off fairly normal. I tried to lose myself in my work—checking the snails, re-calibrating the new equipment, and avoiding eye contact with anyone who might have been in the canteen yesterday. Every time someone walked by, my heart would speed up, half-expecting to hear another comment about "handsome" admirals or worse, something about bed. I cringed every time it crossed my mind.

By mid-afternoon, I had managed to calm down somewhat. I had buried myself deep in a stack of snail reports when I heard the door open behind me.

I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. The slight chill in the air and the lazy gait of his footsteps were unmistakable.

Kuzan.

I tensed immediately, every muscle in my body going rigid as I fought the urge to turn into a puddle of embarrassment. Maybe if I stayed really still, he’d just walk past without saying anything. Maybe he hadn’t heard as much as I thought. Maybe—

“Well, well…” His voice was low and amused, sending a shiver down my spine. “Someone’s been spreading rumors, huh?”

I froze, my heart sinking into my stomach. He definitely heard everything.

Slowly, painfully, I turned in my chair to face him. There he was, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed casually over his chest. That familiar lazy grin played at the corner of his lips, and his eyes—oh, those eyes—were practically sparkling with amusement.

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. All I could manage was a weak, “I… um…”

Kuzan pushed off the doorframe, taking a slow step closer. “You know, I didn’t take you for the type to talk about me behind my back.” His tone was playful, but the teasing edge was unmistakable. “Especially about… our supposed time in bed.”

My face flamed, turning what must’ve been the deepest shade of red imaginable. “Th-That’s not what I—”

“Oh, it’s not?” He interrupted, his voice dropping an octave as he stepped closer, towering over me now. “Because from what I remember, it was something about me being ‘too harsh’ in bed?” His grin widened, and I swore he was enjoying every second of this.

I felt like I was going to combust. My brain was scrambling to come up with something—anything—to explain, but nothing came out right. “I-I didn’t mean it like that!” I stammered, unable to meet his gaze. “They were just teasing, I—”

“Mm-hmm.” Kuzan didn’t seem convinced, his eyes narrowing slightly, clearly savoring my discomfort. He leaned down just enough to make me feel the weight of his presence. “And what about the part where you called me handsome?”

I froze, my mouth going dry. I had said that, hadn’t I? I cursed myself internally, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. “I-I didn’t mean… well, I mean…”

Kuzan chuckled softly, and the sound sent another wave of heat straight to my cheeks. “Don’t be shy now. You seemed pretty confident when you said it yesterday.”

“I wasn’t confident!” I blurted, feeling the words tumble out in a rush. “I was just… flustered! They were teasing me, and I didn’t know what to say, and—”

He tilted his head, smirking. “Flustered, huh? Interesting.”

I could feel my whole body trembling, my heart racing uncontrollably. He was too close. Too teasing. I didn’t know how to handle this. “Ad-Admiral,” I started, trying to salvage some sense of professionalism, “Can we… please not talk about this?”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by my attempt to regain composure. “But I’m having such a good time. It’s not every day someone calls me handsome and imagines our time in bed together.” He winked, his voice dripping with playful mischief.

I buried my face in my hands, groaning in mortification. “Please stop,” I mumbled, my voice barely audible. “I didn’t mean any of it like that.”

Kuzan chuckled again, the sound so soft and deep it practically vibrated through the air. “Relax, I’m just messing with you.”

I peeked up at him through my fingers, still red-faced and trembling slightly. His smirk hadn’t faded, but there was something gentler in his expression now—still teasing, but less predatory.

“You’re too easy to mess with,” he said, leaning back a little to give me some space. “The way you blush, the way you tremble…” He let his words linger, watching me carefully. “You make it hard to resist.”

I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. “I… I just don’t know how to deal with it,” I admitted quietly, lowering my hands to my lap, though I still couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m not used to this.”

Kuzan was silent for a moment, as if considering what I said. Then, to my surprise, he stepped back fully, his teasing smirk replaced with something softer. “Well, you should get used to it,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Because I’m not stopping anytime soon.”

My heart did a little flip at his words, but I didn’t know how to respond.

Kuzan, however, didn’t seem to expect an answer. He glanced at the papers I had been working on, nodding toward them. “Now, about that signal. How’s it going?”

Grateful for the change in topic, I scrambled to gather my thoughts, trying to push the embarrassment aside. “I… I think I’ve made some progress,” I said, clearing my throat. “But I still can’t track the source. It’s almost like it’s bouncing between locations.”

Kuzan nodded, looking thoughtful. “Hmm. That’s interesting.” He paused for a moment before giving me another teasing look. “Almost as interesting as you calling me handsome.”

I groaned again, covering my face with my hands. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Nope,” he said with a grin, clearly enjoying himself. “But don’t worry. I’ll try not to be too harsh.”

I felt my face heat up all over again. “I hate you.”

His laughter echoed through the room as he headed toward the door. “You’ll get over it.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving me alone with nothing but my flaming cheeks and the lingering sound of his teasing words.

[deandoesthingstome]

Ode to COD Writers

First of all: No, I'm probably not back. At least, not writing.

Second: No, I'm not changing my URL, icon photo, or...well, I guess I can't really say my concentration, but honestly. Who knows?

It isn't like this account has ever been exclusively one thing, and COD posts haven't been unheard of until now, but it certainly hasn't been where my attention has been. Until now.

I took a Tumblr break, but during one of my quick check ins I came across an amazing Ghost x Reader fic that had me hooked from the get go. Now, Ghost is not my type. Not really. But Soap sure as fuck is. So while I ran, ran I say, to AO3 to follow the rest of the Ghost series (tattooer!Ghost??? I bit hard), I also took the time to swing around the author's other works and then the tags to find more of what I crave.

Good. Fucking. Stories. (No, they don't have to be about fucking. But it's nice.) Stories written with passion and care. Stories that sink into you brain, swim around in your blood, and take up the breath in your body. Stories that put a new twist on an old idea, or come up with their own idea. Stories that make you want more, crave more.

So, I need to tell you about this. It may not mean anything to you. But if you know me, you know I love to tell you what I love about a story so that if it tickles your fancy in any way, maybe you'll take it for a spin and see if I lied. Check the cut for recommendations:

I haven't listed all elements of every fic, so be sure to read the tags and the warnings if there is something you don't like to read. I just needed to get this love letter out. I've added Tumblr account links where I could (and if my budding Nancy Drew skills failed me, I'm happy to remove the link.)

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

it happens. - jo_lapeno (soap x reader) (I THINK this is @jolapeno here, but in a round about way. Her masterlist links to AO3, where the author has a pseud, so make sure to check out the jo_lapeno link also. I'm sure her Pedro fics are just as bomb.

This wasn't my first Soap fic. It won't be my last. But it's one I wish I could crawl into and wrap myself in. The push and pull, the way the story is crafted, the build of passion, desire, need, the worry, the love. Just see if this enemies to lovers doesn't fuel your desire.

Hung Scot Can’t Hold Himself Back, Huge Oneshot (Girlfriend POV) - callmepoison (soap x reader) (@goaskpoison - https://goaskpoison.tumblr.com/ I can't tag you. But also, I think this post explains why I'm still waiting for my hunger for storm chaser to be sated. And you better believe I switched my playlist from The Roots to The National as I write this. I'm not sure this is the vibe I envisioned while treading those steel halls, caressing those big birds, sneaking into quarters, fighting in the streets, but I like it just the same. It honestly feels like it fits the fic I was actually trying to rec just now...or maybe it fits "it happens", above?)

Unrelated to the playlist garble above, you aren't in the military in this one; you're a medical resident at UCLA Health. You find Johnny in the best way. You take the right risks and come away with the best prize. He is so. fucking. charming. The consummate co-pilot. An absolute dream come true. I'd happily crawl into this universe, too.

This Chapter 8 of Kinktober 2024 - Call of Duty - 1478963255 (yes that's the account name; I cannot find them on Tumblr) (soap x reader)

Like, all of them really. But this Soap x Reader quickie in the rain outside the bar down the alley where Ghost is watching will make you wish your back was against that brick wall.

storm chaser - callmepoison (soap x reader, ghost x reader, soap x reader x ghost?)

This is not complete. This is an interesting take on A/B/O. This had my heart racing, fingers clenching, breath held. I wanted to care as much about the ships as the author did, but I was too mesmerized by the OFC (you) to spend the time. I wanted to know everything, EVERYTHING, about her. I needed to know her name, her scent, the way her skin feels under my fingers... oh shit, that was Soap. That was how Soap felt. And it's funny, 'cause I'm 99.9% sure Soap is fucking Ghost (or maybe the other way?), but you're gonna end up fucking both maybe? I don't know because we're only 5 chapters in, but, my god! do you have a fun time getting here. Johnny is my hero.

The (Scottish) Cabin in the Woods - Charlie_M (soap x reader x ghost) (EDIT: @charliemwrites - I'm Charlie, too! )

Technically speaking, not just Johnny. This may have been one of the first COD fics I found and read on AO3, but it was well before this most recent foray. It started with you and Johnny at a cabin in the highlands, through a delicious vision of Johnny chopping wood, before it sent you to a masked man's cabin - chained to the wall next to Johnny. It's a total mindfuck. But beware - it also is not complete. There purports to be one more chapter, but who knows if it will ever come. I don't care. It's gorgeous.

Everything in Kinkmas 2024 - GloomWitch @gloomwitchwrites

Yes, the author of Ink & Needle, that tattooer!ghost x reader fic I mentioned above, is back with a quintet of cute little vignettes with Soap, Ghost, even Gaz. They are all special, but For Long Distance Fun is a beautiful homage to your favorite Scot.

Kinktober 2024 also gave us Monster (S)mash, the absolute best porn set you've ever been on. Soap, Chost, Gaz AND Price! Get 'em all in one! Just love everything about the detail, the world building, the admiration and love.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

I know I said he wasn't really my type. But good stories are and if they put me in his way, who am I to question it? Expand your horizons.

A Brute, Brute Heart - GloomWitch

Is also sending me to my knees for this man. It's only just begun, but if it does what it says, you are about to get dommed by Ghost. like. yes. please. This first chapter will set the mood. Enjoy.

ever yours....

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 2)

And here’s the second chapter! I tried drawing something for it, but I am not under any circumstance the best artist. Maybe I can just try something later?

Word Count: 3,750

CW: Slight mentions of suicide, panic attacks, fear, idk if there’s anything else to tag

2-Nathan 

It’s been an entire week of dragging myself all around the school. Trying to ignore the fact that there were giants practically everywhere I had looked. Nothing had ever worked though. No matter how hard I really tried to block out the loud voices that were always looming over me. No matter how much I had tried to stay as far away as possible. It was like those stupid laughs and that terrifying smile kept haunting me. And it doesn’t help that at the very end of the day I’m constantly in arms reach of living through that hell again. 

I guess everything wasn’t all bad though. My mom was happier now since I was finally living a normal life again, but I don’t think I’ll ever live a normal life like she wants me to. You can’t just erase seven years of your life and act like they never happened. You can’t just completely heal scars. 

  Everything was okay though. Nothing bad has happened. Yet. It just seemed all too good. I mean, I had heard some rumors that were being spread about me. That I was mute, or that I was just deaf or something of the sorts. That wasn’t the case, I just find it hard to talk to people. Especially to people who just love making and spreading those stupid rumors. I guess they kind of helped me out though. I’d rather get through this year of high school alone than having to worry about losing friends. Can’t lose what you don’t have. 

———————

Today was a normal day. Just some notes from classes here and there, mixed in with some quizzes. Nothing too much besides the huge pile of homework I have from my English class. I mean, I thought today would be an easy day of avoiding the heavy footsteps and people towering over us. Turns out it really wasn’t that easy. 

After a week of being here, you’d think I’d have everything down. No. The complete opposite really. You annoy the wrong person, then everything goes downhill from there. 

I sat at my usual corner table at lunch, trying to drown at the thundering voices from above and not mind that there were a group of people coming right over to me. Oh what the heck. All this time trying to avoid talking to people and all of a sudden these people want to… spike a conversation with me? It didn’t really look like it since they were all laughing. Or maybe they were just walking over to another friend o father is behind me? 

“You’re… Nathan, right? The kid who sits in the back of my physics class?” The kid with dirty blonde hair asked, flashing a friendly smile and holding out a hand. I looked between the hand and himself. I mean he looks nice, but something wasn’t clicking right. Why would he walk up to me now of all times? 

I shook his hand, retracting almost immediately as soon as he let go. 

“How about you come sit with us instead of sitting here all alone? You seem so lonely.” He had offered, pointing somewhere behind him. I looked for any sign of a trick or some kind of prank, but if this was he was hiding his true intentions pretty good. My eyes darted to the three people behind him, then to one specific person who looked a lot younger and was sneaking up behind the other three and shaking his head towards me. What? What was that supposed to mean? To not trust these people? I mean I don’t entirely believe whatever façade this guy was putting up either. 

I gave a nervous smile and shook my head, “Um… I-I’m okay.” 

The younger boy who was hinting to me that these guys were no good nodded and was starting to leave before the one who I really didn’t trust at all laughed and started pushing me to get up. 

“No really, I insist. You’ll have a blast!” He practically pushed me forward, hands around my shoulders and just guiding me through the place, going to the opposite side of the cafeteria. Also where the giants ate at. I knew something about this couldn’t be good. There was always a catch. 

I tried escaping many times, but he just kept of pushing me up into one of those elevators and almost immediately my nerves shot up. The anxiety was clouding up my mind. My heart was racing, my body was trembling, and what was worse was that my fate might be sealed here. I knew that it was whenever that elevator let out a ding sound. 

Everything in my world seemed to have stopped as so many sets of eyes were set right on me. My knees would have buckled underneath me had I not been practically shoved out of the elevator and right into the middle. Theirs stares felt like stabs through my back. I always felt anxious when people my height looked at me, it only makes sense that it would be worse when I had four other pairs of eyes that were giants on me. Great. Just great. I might as well die here. 

Whatever was being said behind me and above me was all muffled as I just stared blankly down at the table. Or more like a floor for me. I guess it didn’t matter when I heard laughs around me, only making my eyes tear up slightly. Of course something like this had to happen. Everything was going all too good for me. There was no way it would stay like that for forever. It never does. 

Then there was arguing, a slam on the table making me flinch and nearly run away had something not been holding my arm and trying to pull on me. I looked up, my eyes clear of any sign of tears, and seeing that same kid who had warned me about them. Speaking of, what was even going on? I looked back, seeing that one of the giants was covered in what looked like milk and whatever was for lunch and arguing to another person that was kind unclear to me at the moment. The other humans around were arguing along with them while I was being dragged away from it all. 

“Come on! While they’re not looking.” The kid who looked younger than me had ordered me. He still held onto my wrist as I trailed behind him, nearly tripped in some areas and not even questioning where we were going. He told me just to follow him, and I wasn’t going to question it since he seemed to know what he was doing. 

The arguing had stopped, and when that did, we stopped as well. There were multiple eyes trained on the argument that had just concluded, and I finally found out who had apparently started it. The guy from last period. The one I’m forced to sit with. What caught me off guard was how his hand laid down flat, palm up by the edge of the table like he was waiting fro something while his attention was focused on trying to convince the others that it was an accident. What was an accident again? 

I gulped, trying to walk away from his hand, only for the younger kid to drag us on and then, what’s his name again? Ryker? Rykers hand had started moving again, making me nearly vomit. Oh heck. I was doing this again, huh? Led into another trap? I tried looking for a way out, but the only way out was just a huge drop that would kill me. 

“Again, so sorry…” And the hand moved again, making me trip and fall face first into the fleshy surface. So did the kid with me. But he just stuck his tongue out at Ryker, who was currently cupping his hand to make it look like he wasn’t carrying anyone. I guess it worked since he wasn’t stopped by anyone. But that did not stop my body from trembling violently.

“Hey… um, are you good? You look like your having a panic attack.” The younger kid asked, helping me back up, but I just fell right back onto my butt. Panic attack? No. Just everything in my body was trying to make me run, but I couldn’t. If I did, I would just walk right into my death. My nerves and anxiety was all over the place, body trembling violently, and heart beating fast all over again. Yet, this time, I was still aware of everything that was happening all around me. 

It was only a few seconds later when Ryker had stopped moving, and we weren’t in the cafeteria anymore. Just in the hallway right outside. But please tell me I was not about to be kidnapped or something. But, against all odds, the opposite happened. I was slid off of his hands and by the human doors that led the cafeteria. 

I braved looking up, only seeing that same nervous smile as the first day we had met. I stood up, looking for the other kid, finding him crossing his arms and giving a glare to Ryker, who rolled his eyes and sighed, “What’d I do wrong this time?” Unlike the usually loud voices, his was soft. 

“You could’ve at least been a little more gentle while moving.” He stuck his tongue out, earning yet another set of rolled eyes. 

“Sorry,” His attention was diverted to me, giving a confused look then surprised, “It’s Nathan, right?” 

I jumped at the mention of my name. So he recognized me? I was really hoping he didn’t. There was no way I could speak if I couldn’t even move by myself. What do I do? The only door nearby led to the cafeteria, and I still needed to grab my bag. But if I stayed, he’d expect me to answer and actually talk, which was one of the many things I wouldn’t do at the moment. My head felt dizzy again, and my anxiety was building up. 

Ryker gave me a confused face before giving a look to whoever the other younger guy was, who just shrugged his shoulders and walked over towards me. 

“Hey… are you okay? Seriously. We’ll take you to the nurse of you’re not feeling good.” He had offered, and just as soon as Ryker had made a single movement, I dashed out of there, into the cafeteria, and out another door that took me the long way back to my class. 

————————

Why did I react that way during lunch? I had no idea. Why was I dreading the end of the day? Well because I’d have to actually face Ryker again, and I’d have to explain what I was even thinking. I mean, what kind of person doesn’t thank someone for practically saving their life? Me. I don’t. But otherwise, I still wasn’t sure how I’d handle last period. I’m pretty sure he’s going to ask me about it. Even if he’s made no attempt to talk to me at all for the entire week. 

And even being terrified for my life, I still dragged myself into that terrible classroom. Finding that everything was moving in slow motion. I could hear my heart beat, the way people were laughing in the back of the classroom, every tremor in the ground as a giant took a step. And then the desk I had feared all along. The one where Ryker was just sitting down, doing whatever with his journal as always. I never looked back, seeing as he would be annoyed if I did. Now I’m too scared to even take that stupid elevator up. To scared to take even one more step closer. 

The only thing that had me moving again was the sound of the bell that marked one minutes to get to class. I rushed into the elevator, my hand hovering over the button that makes it go up. I could just hide in the bathroom. Most people do that anyways. But what if he’s already seen me? Plus, my mom would be wondering why. She already thinks I’m getting used to it here, and I couldn’t risk seeing her feel so heartbroken after my lies. 

So, I did the only thing I could. Press the button and wait for that dreadful ding that motioned for me to get out. It felt like the longest five seconds of my life. There was nothing I could do though. I couldn’t just give up now when I was already up there. If he didn’t know I was there then, he knows I am now. 

The elevator reached the top, and I could render was the stabbing feeling of having a pair of eyes on me. I always hated having any kind of attention on me. Or maybe that wasn’t the word for it. 

I took a deep breath, hoping nothing could go wrong, and then took my first step, then another, and another, hiding my face as I kept going along, and eventually the stabbing feeling of eyes on me disappeared, letting me hurry to my seat and bury my head in my arms. This is bad. who thought I could do this? What made anyone I was ready to do any of this? What if I was just annoying him? What if- 

The teachers loud voice interrupted my thoughts, “These next two weeks I’d like to have a little fun! I want you and your partner to discuss anything interesting about yourselves, or if you have any special interests. I’ll tell you what to do after ten minutes.” 

My heart quite literally shattered. What. The. Hell. This day couldn’t get any worse. Because as soon as the teacher dismissed us, the classroom was full of squeamish conversations and laughs, while I couldn’t even turn around. I knew Ryker was looking at me too since he was just annoyed with me at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised if he would’ve just stood up and left. 

And instead of getting yelled at like I thought I would, he showed me a piece of paper. Brought up all the way up to me, and written, I was guessing as small as he could, small enough to fit on the piece he ripped off. 

‘It is Nathan, right?’ 

I worked up the urge to turn around slightly, seeing a thoughtful smile plastered over his face. Was this acting? He was supposed to be annoyed with me, not being friendly. This was crazy. I looked away before he could see me, digging my head deeper into my arms. Why was I even put into this class? Why couldn’t I have just stayed at the hospital? They could have taught me the same thing just without so much interactions. It’s my last year of high school so I really don’t see the point. 

Seven minutes had gone by without a single word. No other attempt to communicate, nor did he even so much as make any kind of noise. It kind of felt quiet all around me despite the many conversations just barely picking up. I just don’t see myself trusting someone who could very well be just like the others. 

“And how are you two doing?” The teacher cheered, and I couldn’t help myself from picturing her smiling awkwardly as she saw how both us hadn’t even as much spoken one word to each other. 

“I don’t want to force him…” Ryker had mumbled softly, sounding a bit sad. How much I would give to say sorry. At least give him some kind of an apology! He’s the one giving an effort meanwhile you’re making things harder for him. And that spun into even more horrible thoughts. I was really just going to make him fail this class. I would be the cause for him getting yelled at or whatever else happens. He probably just wants me to get this over with so we could eventually never talk again. 

“Hmmm. How about you both see me after class? It’s nothing bad, I promise.” Mrs. Kay had finished, smiling and walking off to the front of the class. My body only started shaking even more violently. I can’t do this. Why. Why did this have to happen to me? There was no reason for all of this. Just leave me the broken way I was. Get Ryker a new partner so he doesn’t have to be annoyed with some broken human. 

Something had touched my back. Oddly soft, but still, I jumped and almost tripped over the desk to stand up and face away from the touch. Ryker’s hand stayed frozen in shock as his eyes had wide dead at my very dramatic reaction. But, now, I was standing up and facing him. Not an ideal situation. 

“Er… sorry.” He had apologized, stuffing his hand back underneath the desk. He gave an unsure look before letting out a sigh, “Should we start over? I’m Ryker.” He didn’t offer a hand thankfully, because I honestly thought if he did I would just run straight off the desk. Honestly that didn’t sound like too bad of an idea. Although, now I think I actually need to reply back to him. I can’t just keep ignoring him for the third time in a row. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Of course nothing did. So the next best thing was just to nod to a previous question he had asked nearly ten minutes ago and hope he knows why. 

At first, he gave a confused look. But I guess he had finally realized since he was smiling now, “Sorry about what happened during lunch. Lucky said to help out, and I can’t really say no to him.” He laughed nervously, a hand behind his head and trying to convince my hot-wired mind to even make so much as a gesture towards him. But at least now I knew who to thank for helping me out in that situation. Of course Ryker too but maybe I could just this Lucky guy to thank him for me. 

“Ten minutes is up! Now time for the actual fun,” She was passing out a paper to everyone in the class, and gave a sad smile directed towards me as she gave the paper to Ryker, who stared at it like it would haunt his nightmares. My heart started beating faster in my chest as he read the paper, eyes darting to me from time time. This was a Human and Giants Interactions and current events class. Which meant it had something to do with some kind of interaction. Again, I was the worst person to be placed in this class. 

“As you can see, this is a project for you and your partner. I’ve already made arrangements to twist the humans classes to match up with your partners. This is your first project in this class, and your schedules will stay like this for two weeks starting tomorrow.” My knees nearly buckled underneath me. That was a bit drastic. I didn’t know they could do that. Could they? Still, I didn’t particularly like the idea that I’d have to be taken to all of Rykers classes. Especially when I had finally grown used to mine. It was still early in the school year too. I didn’t think she would have a project this early. 

“Your giant partner is responsible for taking you everywhere unless you can get somewhere without them. While your human partner is going to trust you with everything until the school day ends. Think of this like a test exercise! Just a very long one.” Mrs. Kay giggled, waving us off to talk once again. Of course this would be the first project. Barely anyone knows each other in this class so it would be some sort of dramatic trust exercise. Seemed more like a death sentence to me though. Where I’m being forced to trust someone who defiantly hated this project just as much as I did. 

The room was full of  bright conversations again. While we were sitting there in silence. Ryker had stuffed the paper in his bag and looked at me. Through my eyes, I saw a terrifying grin, making me jump and fall on the floor, bringing my knees close to my chest and my arms in front of my face. Pathetic? Yes. Do I think making myself look even smaller helps the situation? Yes. Why? Because I can’t think clearly when I’m terrified. 

After a while, I was calmed down enough to somewhat get out of the little ball I made myself. Ryker kept worried face as he finished reading whatever book he was, and I couldn’t help but notice that there were some people who looked over here and laughed. At Ryker? Why? Did I make them laugh at him? And yet another thing to feel guilty about. 

The bell rang, but neither Ryker or I moved, already fearing what was about to be said to the both of us. I guess I’ll miss the bus today, but I could always walk. 

“Now, about you two,” She walked over to us, “I’m sorry Nathan, honey, I bet they haven’t told you that I know about your… past recollections, but this class is supposed to help humans and giants get along together, and Ryker here is sweetest person you’ll ever meet. You’ve both lost someone and something dear, and I decided that you two would be perfect to pair up with. So, I have a secret project for you both,” She smiled softly, “Don’t worry, there’s no due date, and it’s not a grade. I just want you two get along. Become friends and get to know one another. Maybe you’ll help out each other. Just give it a try.” 

Ryker looked at me, curiously, and sympathetically. What did that mean? Doesn’t matter. I was only focused on this “secret project” we were supposed to do. Do I really have to trust him? I’ve run out of that a long time ago and I’m not about to start placing whatever was left in a stranger who probably is just faking being nice. But I guess I had no choice. 

I hesitantly nodded, followed by Ryker who was waiting for my response. 

And I guess here starts a terrible outcome of events. One I dreaded to even be part of. 

—————————

Second chapter done. I did not take the time to even edit any of this, so I���m sorry if there are some mistakes. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed!

I plan on doing a chapter once a week and if not, then every other week.

[waywardstation]

I'm a little sad to see this blog mostly shares polls nowadays... I miss the AU talk and random chatter about ideas or headcanons, your opinions on things and the wip wednesdays I'm still happy to see your art in between all those polls. (before forgetting: you might have already lost but to me Train of Thought IS and WILL BE my favorite submas AU. No contest. Nope. Never.) But yeah, missing the old days here. Dearly. Verrrry much. Don't get this wrong, you're either probably still recovering, you're insanely busy or maybe even moved on... either way wishing you have fun with wherever tracks take you! I was happy to be on this blog in it's prime.

Hey Anon! I will be honest with you on this cause I do want to explain what has happened with this blog lately, and where I plan to go with it. (It’s not going anywhere, don’t worry!!)

There are a few reasons for the inactivity. Part of it is just me recovering from university work. I pushed myself way harder than I should have for way longer than I should have, and now I’m kinda trying to just recalibrate my brain and mental health. It’s really foggy and I struggle with concentration and comprehension a lot currently. (And this is also why I haven’t really answered asks, when I tried to answer Papa Ingo AU asks while like this, it really only led to getting confused and correctional asks in response, because I kept getting things wrong, and that made things really overwhelming.)

AND SECOND! Most of my free time right now is not being spent on this blog, because most of it is going into writing and editing. Concentration and comprehension issues are making it take a lot longer than I’d like it to right now, but I have a lot of content on the way!

- four new chapters of HFBE

- three chapters of IWLYB

- a five chapter, 25k+ word fic titled Rain Check

- another fic titled Entropy Syndrome

None of these are out yet because Entropy Syndrome’s narrative covers a concept that spans across all of these other fics and chapters, and it’s adjusted a lot of content that’s making me rewrite things several times over to ensure it’s properly written in and connected ^^;

And lastly, sadly a lot of it is just irrational anxiety. I stopped posting for a while for university, and anxiety makes me irrationally scared to start again because it always makes it hard to start back at something once I’ve stopped ^^; (I’m hoping dumping all these fics will alleviate this when I’m done with them though! Fic posting is what diminished my anxiety enough to start this blog in the first place!!)

BELIEVE ME I miss how this blog used to be as well, but my mentality is still sort of recovering from what I did to it for four years straight, and I can’t really force it to keep going more right now. It’s certainly a process, but I’m recovering!

Lots of stuff is coming soon! I have a few minutes drabbles on hand, I will attempt to start posting those while I keep working on these fics.

Thank you for the ask anon!! It means a lot that you liked this blog so much. I still love it, and I’m taking care of myself as best I can so that I can get back to running this blog at full efficiency!!

Thank you again Anon!!! ^^

[waterless-witch]

Of Knights and Demons

Chapter 7

TW: Talk of prostitution, dark themes, violence, forced marriage and swearing MINORS DNI OR I WILL BLOCK YOU

This is my first ever fic so please be nice to me, I’ve also got it posted on A03 and Wattpad under the same name in case anybody would like to read it there.

Previous Chapter

Grimmjow's hand on your hip is warm, so much so that you feel the heat through the layers of your dress. His hand moves slowly, trailing along your hip and holding it firmly for a moment before he roughly spins you around to face him. You gasp and look up at him, he presses just a bit closer and you make a flustered squeaky sound and try to keep some sort of distance but there is none, your back hits the door, he’s just inches from your face and he towers over you looking down with an animalistic smirk.

You try to think of something to say, something to smooth this over. He doesn’t seem all that angry, if anything he’s laughing at you. Nothing comes to mind so you opt to just tell him the truth, “I’m leaving.” You tell him with as much confidence as you can muster, which isn’t as much as you’d like and you sound way more unsure than you’d meant to.

Grimmjow laughs, in the most condescending way you’d ever heard. You want to push him away, he’s too close and you’re a nervous wreck, you can’t help but think that maybe you had him pegged wrong. What if he’d just been fucking with you all this time and he was really loyal to Aizen, what if he was still playing that stupid game of cat and mouse and you’d played perfectly into it. He stops laughing and looks down at you, “No you’re not.” He tells you sternly. The smile slips from his face, “You’ll never make it out there princess, especially not in your pretty little dress. Even if you did manage to make it anywhere, someone would pick you up and do far worse than what your husband does to you. Now,” he says with a pause and brings his mouth right next to your ear to whisper, “If you keep your pretty little mouth shut I’ll take you back to your room and we can pretend nothing happened.” You weigh his words for a second but ultimately decide against it.

You shake your head, “No,” you start to tell him and he scoffs and interrupts you as he pulls back to look in your eyes again, he’s getting annoyed with you but you don’t care, you want out and you can’t keep waiting forever.

“How can you be so well read and so fucking stupid?” Grimmjow asks with venom laced thick in his voice, “You think things are bad now? How about when he has to hunt you down a second time, he’ll kill anyone who helped you, think you can deal with that princess?” He sneers at you.

You start to argue back that you don’t want any help but before you can get halfway through the sentence his hard wraps around your throat. He’s not squeezing but there’s enough pressure that you stop talking and look up at him with wide fearful eyes, “You have no idea what’s out there, you know how to hunt? You know how to forage? Do you even know where the hell you’re going? Don’t be stupid, don’t fucking make me drag you back up there.” Your hands come up and you wrap them around his wrist and you wince, he loosened his grip a bit but doesn’t pull his hand away, you have a sudden realization that he’s clearly not trying to hurt you, just intimidate you.

You look at him for a long while, behind all the anger in his eyes there’s worry. Even though he’s being rough and manhandling you he’s still trying to keep you out of trouble, he’d told you once that he wouldn’t hurt you and you believe him still. Even now he wasn’t hurting you, not really, he was trying to scare you sure but he wasn’t trying to hurt you. You swallow before talking, your voice comes out much quicker and weaker sounding than you’d like, “You can’t keep me here forever. You said it yourself, you can’t guard me all the time. If you take me back there will just be another day, I’ll find another chance and if I can’t I’ll throw myself from the roof. I won’t stay here, I won’t be this.” You argue.

His eyes narrow and he opens his mouth to speak but snaps it shut, his head darts to the side and you try to see what he’s looking at but you can’t see anything past him. Everything’s silent behind him for just a moment before you hear it. It’s distant but you hear the light tap of someone’s shoes hitting the stone. The sound slowly draws closer and you start to panic, someone’s going to see the two of you and they’ll report it back to Aizen, your escape will be squashed before you even make it out of the manor, you knew things would be bad if he had to hunt you a second time but what about this, what would he do about you just trying to leave?

The hand that Grimmjow had braced on the door falls and pulls the handle. You’re stumbling backwards out the door before you know what’s happening. Grimmjow wraps his arm around your waist and redirects you. Your back comes in contact with the cold wall outside the door and you make another squeak sound before Grimmjow's hard comes up to cover your mouth, his body is completely pressed to your own and you can’t help the blush that breaks out across your skin, you’re so close and you can’t help but think of all the dreams you’d had about him even though you didn’t want to be thinking like that right now. Your eyes dart up to his face but he’s not looking at you, his head is turned towards the now closed door and he watches and listens for any sign of the person you’d heard. He keeps his eyes on the door but brings his mouth to your ear again. “Not a sound princess.” He hisses in a whisper still keeping his hand over your mouth.

You nod your head as much as his hold on you allows, his eyes dart to you for a second, he takes in your wide eyed stare for a moment before you hear light noises from inside the room making you stiffen in fear of being caught. You can’t tell what they’re doing but the sounds disappear after a few minutes. It takes Grimmjow another few moments of silence before he removes his hand and takes a few steps back. You take in a shaky breath and look at him. He’s watching you, his jaw is locked and he doesn’t say anything. You stare into his eyes as the cold air nips at you.

An idea pops into your head and your head and you're voicing it before you can think twice about it, “Come with me.” You offer without hesitation. His eyebrows shoot so high you think they’d almost fly off his brow. He stares at you for a long time before he clicks his tongue.

“Excuse me?” He asks in disbelief, “You cannot be serious. What makes you think that I’ll-” He starts to say but you cut him off.

“You hate it here too!” You argue a bit too loudly and he hisses at you to be quiet, “Sorry,” you apologize in a whisper, “But I’m not wrong. You don’t want to be here. You hate him, I don’t know how you ended up here but you want out too. You wanted me to kill him, you hate him. Come with me and we can both get away from him.” You try to reason with him.

He chuckles at you, it’s not the same condescending laugh from earlier, it’s more of a disbelieving laugh but it still makes you feel awkward. “Yeah princess?” He asks, letting a small smirk return to his face, “I’m not one of your little knights, what makes you think I’d drag you across a kingdom for nothing in return. You think I work for your husband out of the goodness of my heart? You got a way to pay me if you’re gonna use me as a sell sword?” He asks.

You refuse to back down from him, “I’m sure my father would pay you when-” you start to say but he cuts you off with yet another barking laugh. Your brows furrow at him and you want to call him a number of unkind names but hold your tongue.

His laughter tapers off and he sighs, “You don’t even know where he is,” he starts, “I have an idea where he might be but it’s no guarantee and even then you have no way of getting there. Which just leads you back to the first problem, you have no way of paying me or anyone else.” He says with emphasis. He considers something for a moment before he speaks again, “Well, you do have one way of payment but I highly doubt you’d…” he tries for a moment to find the right word before continuing. “Lower yourself to that level.” His words confuse you and your brows knit together as you think.

He chuckles and takes another step towards you. Grimmjow had always been one to push your boundaries but today he was really pushing, your personal space was nonexistent and you can’t help but be nervous. “We’ve talked about this,” He says and you shake your head, you hadn’t and had no idea what he’s talking about. Grimmjow smirks at you again, predatory and animalistic, you can’t help but think that he looks handsome, it wasn’t the first time you’d thought it but it was definitely the strangest scenario that you’d thought about it in. “Yes we have, I’ve told you what men would do for you if you offered.” Your eyes widen in understanding at what he’s implying. “So unless you’re willing to spread those pretty little legs or fall to your knees and wrap those delicate lips around my cock you need to get back in your room and behave yourself.” You scowl at him, face flushed and he laughs again but doesn’t say anything.

You think about his words for a long while. You’re so flushed and embarrassed that you don’t even feel the cold air against you. If you went back to your room with him Aizen would just force you to do all things Grimmjow had said and more, you don’t necessarily like the idea of what Grimmjow had said but if he was serious you could at least try to argue for more of it to be on your terms. The idea of doing such things with him makes you feel strange, you’re not necessarily scared but you are nervous and worried that he doesn’t actually mean it. Grimmjow makes another step towards you and reaches for you, you take a step of your own to the side dodging him and making him roll his eyes at you. “Come on princess I don’t have all day, let's get you back inside and be done with this shit. Don’t make me hurt you.” He says in irritation. You know he’s bluffing, if he was gonna do it he would have done so already, he had countless opportunities especially now, especially today when his hand had been around your throat and he’d had you pinned to the door.

“No. And you’re not going to hurt me.” You tell him firmly, calling him on his bluff. You’re not going back, at least you think, if you let him do what he wants you actually get somewhere. If the act is the same regardless at least with Grimmjow you’re closer to being away from Aizen and back with your father. “I’ll do whatever it takes but I won’t go back to him again. So either come with me or let me leave to find someone else to help me, like you said all I have to do is offer.” You tell him in a sneer, you’re not serious about making an offer like that to someone else. You know it’s probably not wise to try and prod at him but you can’t stop yourself, he’s been messing with you this whole time why can’t you do the same?

Grimmjow's jaw locks in anger as his eyes flash with a kind of rage you’ve never seen from him and he lets an angry breath out. “You’re not serious,” He says in anger and you start to argue back but he stops you. “You really expect me to believe that you’re going to whore yourself out to me or anyone else?” He takes a step towards you again and you try to side step him again but he catches you easily and forces you back to the wall with his hand around your throat again. You swallow thickly and he continues, “You’re really gonna let me crawl between your legs and fuck you?” He asks as he slots one of his legs between your own, you gasp and the hand around your throat twitches minimally. “You don’t even like when your husband fucks you, what makes you think I’d treat you any kinder? Are you gonna let me fuck you like a whore or will you insist that I treat you like a lady?” He asks, pushing himself closer to you. “You gonna ride my cock whenever I please? Fall to your knees and suck me off whenever I tell you to?” He growls deeply, you’re staring at him with wide eyes, you don’t know what to say to any of what he’s said but his words have you feeling strange. You’re light headed but not from his hold on your throat but instead his words.

Your hands come up to try and pry his hand off your neck and he growls deeply at you before grabbing your hands and pinning them above you, your breath catches as he pulls back a few inches to look at you. His eyes trail over you slowly before rising back up to your face, he shifts his leg between yours causing your core to press against him more firmly. You breathe in a shaky breath and his eyes widen just a tiny bit. You open your mouth to say something and his eyes fall to watch your lips move, stopping you briefly. The wall on your back is ice cold but between his hands on you and his body pressed against your own, you're hot and flushed. “Grimmjow, please let g-” your voice comes out weak and whispered, you’re going to tell him to let you go but never get it out.

Grimmjow's hand tightens around your caught wrists and pushes them back into the wall harder, forcing a pained yelp from you as his nails dig into your skin. His eyes snap up towards your eyes and his grip on both your wrists and your neck loosens. He presses just an inch closer and his eyes fall back to your lips. You’re sure he’s about to kiss you and for some reason it makes your heart skip a beat as you look up at him, you can’t tell if you want him to kiss you or not but you don’t think about it long before he starts speaking again. “You gonna cry the whole time or are you going to make pretty little sounds like the last time I heard you?” His voice comes out in a growl.

The leg slotted between your own rises a bit, forcing you to the very tips of your toes and making you gasp and completely go red and look away from his eyes. You’re completely embarrassed, not only by his actions but by his words, he’s just admitted to having heard Aizen have his way with you and while you’d known it was more than likely that he’d heard you didn’t want to think about it. He pressed closer yet again, face just inches from your own, his thumb rose from your neck and pushed your chin up to look at him, “I bet you’d make the prettiest sounds for me princess.” You can feel his words as he whispers them against your lips and you can’t help but feel a twinge of arousal course through you. You’re confused by your own reaction and look at him wide eyed, you don’t know what you want. You can’t tell if you want him to press closer and just kiss you or if you want him to let you go and pull away.

You take a shuddering breath as his words make you shiver a bit, you’d blame it on the cold but you know it’s not true. “Grimmjow…” you try to say his name again in warning but it comes out much more breathy and small than ideal. He’s back to watching you and you wish he’d do anything at this point, move or kiss you or hurt you or something, anything. Hell you’d even take him dragging you back to your room at this point, just anything other than the maddening conflicting feelings he’s dragging out of you.

You try to shift in his hold a bit, only causing your core to press further into him and making you breathe a bit deeper against him. Your legs are straining and your arms are stretched thin, you watch as he looks over your face. Grimmjow sighs in defeat and drops his forehead against your shoulder, making you go ridgid. He's so warm against you but you're still shivering lightly, your heart beats against your chest so hard you’re sure it’s going to rip you apart and you have to focus on your breathing. “Fuck princess…” you can feel your breath against your collarbone and you cut off a choked whine. If he hadn’t had your hands pinned you might have wrapped your arms around him but you can’t and you don’t even know why you felt like you should. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you? I can’t fucking stand you.” You can’t tell if he’s insulting you or not, his words definitely are but the way he speaks them, in a quiet whisper, almost like he doesn’t want you to hear them makes you think otherwise. You don’t know what to say so you opt to say nothing hoping that your silence doesn’t upset him further.

He takes a minute before moving or saying anything. The time feels dreadfully long, you can’t see his face but you can feel every exhale he breathes against you, you’re about to say something to him, your brain is short circuiting and nothing comes to mind. After a minute or two he pulls back completely, he releases your wrists and pulls his body away from yours fully. He runs his fingers through his electric blue hair and paces a few steps in frustration. “You’re serious? About all of it?” He asks sternly. There’s no way you’d be able to answer him so you just nod your head, you’d agree to whatever he wanted if it meant getting back to your father and being away from Aizen. He thinks on it for a long moment, the gears in his head clearly spinning. “I need some assurances from you.” He scowls at you.

A feeling of dread rises in you, he could ask for any manner of things and you really don’t have much to bargain with, besides yourself and you’d already agreed to give him that. You narrowed your eyes a bit at him, “What kind of assurances?” You ask in a weary tone.

Grimmjow shrugs, “I need to know that after I drag you across a kingdom your lord father isn’t going to kill me on sight. I also need to know that I’m not going to be imprisoned or questioned or whatever. Once I take you there I get to leave, I’m not one of your little knights, I’m not sticking around or getting involved in whatever happens after I take you back. Understand?” He asks the question harshly.

His ask isn’t unreasonable, it's a more than fair ask and you nod, “I can try to convince him of-” You start to say before getting cut off.

“No trying, you will convince him. I can guarantee you I can cut through you faster than they can kill me. Got it?” Grimmjow tells you harshly. You agree and reach out to shake his hand in agreement. Instead of shaking your hand he drags you off in the direction of the forest that Renji had tried to take you through. He leads you through the brush and fallen leaves much faster than Renji and it’s a struggle not to fall over your own feet, you nearly trip on a tree root and Grimmjow whirls around to catch you quickly. Your eyes meet his azure eyes as he pulls you back up. He mumbles out an apology before he starts dragging you deeper into the forest, he pulls you much slower this time through, making sure you have time to keep your footing and pace steady.

The two of you keep a steady pace for about ten minutes before he slows to a complete stop and lets your hand slip from his. He turns to face you and starts taking off his jacket. Your skin breaks out in a sweat, you know you agreed to let him have you whenever he wanted but you didn’t expect him to take you here, a few short minutes from the manor and outside in the cold. You look away nervously and breathe a shaky breath in as you hear him stalk closer. He reaches out and grabs your wrist roughly, you flinch not quite knowing what he’s going to do. Out of all the scenarios you mind comes up with, his actions actually shock you, he shoves his jacket into your hand and lets you go. You look up at him in confusion, “Put that on and stay here, got it?” Grimmjow asks in a snarl before moving past you back the way you came.

You turn sharply, “Wait!” You call out and he whirls as he roughly slams his hand back over your mouth. You can’t stop the small gasp or the half step you take backwards at his action. You’re panicked, not wanting to be left alone out here, you wouldn’t stand a chance if someone found you out here right now.

“We’re not that far away don’t fucking yell.” He snarls at you, “You want every guard Aizen’s got out here because they heard you yell?” He asks and you shake your head in denial as much as you can with his hold on your face. “I’m not ditching you or anything, I’ll be right back, if you don’t want to die in the next few days, we’ll need supplies, money and a horse so stay here, put that on it’s cold.” He explains as he removes his hand from your mouth and steps back. Grimmjow waits for you to slip on his jacket before he turns to leave.

Once he's out of sight you rest your back against a nearby tree and let yourself sink to the ground. Now that he’s gone and all the adrenaline has left your body you notice how cold it really is. You pull Grimmjow's jacket tighter around you, you’re thankful that he’d left it but feel a bit bad that he’s out without it. You realize how absurd your plan had actually been, it was much colder now than when you’d tried to escape with Renji. You had no supplies and you would have surely frozen to death if you hadn’t been found. Grimmjow deciding to come with you had definitely saved your life and you’re still more than shocked that he’d actually agreed. While he’d always made lewd comments at you and his looks had been less than innocent, this was a lot to agree to just to sleep with you for the duration of the trip.

One thought led into another and soon you were thinking about your dreams of him. You wondered if when he had you if he’d truly be like that, you thought about the groaned out words and taunts that your mind had conjured up. In your dreams you always seemed to be enjoying yourself much more than you ever did with your husband and you wonder if you actually would with him.

You’re still thinking improper thoughts about him more than an hour later when you hear hoof beats on the ground. You shoot up from your position on the ground as Grimmjow slows the horse to a stop and dismounts. He throws a small burlap bag at you, you catch it and open it. Inside is a black shirt like his own, as well as pants and boots all of which look too big for you. You look back up at him and raise a single eyebrow in question.

“Change clothes. Now.” He demands while crossing his arms, “I can’t take you anywhere dressed like that.” He starts, gesturing towards your dress. “Assuming you're not picked up and sold to a pleasure house, you’d be recognized in an instant. A lot of your high class families have fallen in line out of fear and that last thing you need is for someone to tell him about how they saw you in a pretty little dress in some shit hole.” He explains, his eyes still on you. “Now change.” He growls at you.

You wait for him to turn around to give you privacy or something but he doesn’t. He just watches you lazily. You fluster under his gaze as he clearly intends to watch you strip, “Can you turn around or something?” You ask out embarrassed.

He rolls his eyes at you but does what you ask, “So you’ll offer to let me fuck you however I want but I can’t watch you change clothes? Seems a bit backwards don’t you think?” He asks sarcastically but with no real bite to it.

You wait a second before starting to remove your clothing. You strip off his jacket first, letting it rest gently on the ground followed by your dress before putting on the shirt from inside the bag. It’s big on you and you're sure if someone stood over you they would be able to see your chest down the small v-neck of it. “It would be improper.” You argue back as you pull the matching black pants up your legs and tie them as tight as they’ll go.

Grimmjow huffs a small laugh, “Yeah? And letting a demon fuck you to get what you want isn’t?” You roll your eyes but don’t answer, you slip your feet into the boots and just like you thought they were much too big for you, you tie them tightly hoping that it'll help you not to stumble over them. You pick up his jacket and dust it off from being on the ground.

You’re fully dressed in the clothes that Grimmjow had brought you and while they were much warmer than the deep cut v-neck dress you had been wearing but it’s still cold outside. “I’m finished,” you say timidly, not really knowing what to say. He turns and looks at you and you extend your arm to give him his jacket back, his eyes travel down your form and you're unsure of why, it’s not like he can see much of you in your baggy clothes, especially when compared to the dresses that Aizen had kept you dressed in.

He simply shakes his head at your outstretched arm, “Keep it, you’ll get more use out of it then I will.” He tells you. You thank him kindly and mean it, for so much more than just the jacket itself. You let your eyes fall to the horse behind him, it’s not one of the ones from your stables, they were larger than average with longer hair around their lower legs. This one was simple, just a dark brown body with a black mane and tail, you figured it helped to have a more plain horse than one of the fancier ones from your home. Attached to the saddle where a few small burlap bags as well as a quiver filled with arrows, Grimmjow wears the matching bow slung over his shoulder as well as his signature sword at his hip. “Come on, don’t wanna waste our head start do we?” He sighs out.

While making your way to him you slip the jacket back on, it's warm and comforting in a way that you don’t have the energy to put thought into. Once in front of him he helps you onto the horse before placing himself behind you and taking hold of the reins, trapping you against him in the same way he had the first night you’d meet him. Except this time you’re not afraid of him, you still don’t know what lies ahead of you but you’re certain it's better than what lies behind you.

The two of you set off and you ride for around an hour and a half in silence before you break it, “How long before they come after us?” You ask as you come across the clearing you’d almost made it to. It felt strange to be here, the last time it had taken you all day to make it here. You felt exposed without the coverage of trees, anyone could see you but Grimmjow didn’t seem to be worried about it, perhaps you were just being paranoid.

“Not until tomorrow morning at least.” Grimmjow says but that seems too far away to you, maybe he’s lying to try and calm you down, you can’t tell. He gives a small sigh, clearly able to tell that you’re still upset. “Once Loly realizes you're gone she’ll try to find you herself, she won’t check on you until she has to, to bring you food. She’ll panic and look everywhere she can think of.” He begins to explain and you nod along as you listen. “When she can’t find you she’ll eventually break down and go to Ulquiorra, he’ll take her to Tousen and then they’ll start searching. First around the manor and then they’ll fan out. It’ll be late tonight before anyone realizes how far you’ve actually made it.” He explains firmly.

You’re quiet for a few more minutes just thinking. He was probably right but you were still nervous, one wrong move or misstep and you’d be back where you started. You doubted you’d calm down until you were back with your father. You wondered how Aizen would react to the news, as much as you disliked Loly you did not wish for her to die and hoped that he didn’t kill her for your escape. “And what of Aizen?” You ask quietly.

Behind you, Grimmjow shrugs, “Word will get sent to him tonight, he’ll probably leave immediately to come back and try to find you, his whole plan to take the north hinges on the fact that your father won’t fight him as long as you're in his custody.” None of what he’d said made you feel any better but he continued. “He’ll try to keep the news of your escape on a need to know basis,” he tells you, causing your brow to furrow in confusion.

“Wouldn’t he want as many people out looking as possible?” You ask as you ride back into the tree line, following a dirt path, leaving the clearing behind you.

Grimmjow chuckles a bit, “No he won't. He doesn’t need word to reach your father or anyone else of your escape. Aizens too cocky to believe that you’d make it. He’ll keep the search low for a while before he realizes that he needs to put more of an effort and by that point we should hopefully be far enough ahead for it to not matter.” You nod in agreement but you're still a bit unconvinced. “I swear it princess, I haven’t lied to you have I?” He asks, he’s right, he hasn’t.

If anyone knew what they were talking about in regards to all of this was him. You decide its better to trust him than to drive yourself insane with worry trying to figure out every little possibility of every action and you try your best to let it go.

~~~

The two of you ride the rest of the day in silence, eventually Grimmjow brings the horse to a stop in order to make camp. You try to offer to stay awake for him the same way you did for Renji but he refuses. He tells you that you’ll be coming across a small town at midday and that you’ll get a room at the inn and he’ll sleep there. You swallow thickly but agree. Grimmjow builds a small fire and gives you a strip of dried meat as well as some bread. You thank him and eat in silence, watching the fire crackle and burn.

You wait, a bit on edge but Grimmjow makes no move to sleep with you. You blame it on the cold and know that tomorrow when you make it to the inn he’ll more than likely have you there. The thought makes you nervous but not in the same way that you had been when faced with the same act from Aizen. Perhaps the task was not so daunting because Aizen had already stripped you of your innocence or perhaps because even if it’s for selfish reasons Grimmjow was helping you. You’re still thinking about it when the sunsets and Grimmjow tells you to sleep.

It takes a very long time for you to fall asleep, you’ve never spent a night in the elements like this. To make matters worse every few minutes you could practically feel Grimmjow watching you. It’s cold even with the fire burning and you can’t help but wonder how Grimmjow manages to do this on a regular basis. Though it seemed that you would be finding out. Your mind keeps conjuring all manner of terrifying possibilities making sleep all that much harder to find. It’s hours before your eyes finally drift closed and your breathing evens out enough to let you slip into unconsciousness.

You wake early from Grimmjow shaking you awake. You wake with a fright and he has to grab you firmly to stop you from smashing your head into his own. You look at him wide-eyed, you’re afraid that he’s going to tell you that someone has found you but he doesn’t. “Didn’t mean to scare you,” He starts, the sun has just begun to peak over the horizon and the forest floor was still dark, “We should get moving, keep distance between us and them.” He tells you, you nod and pick yourself up. You dust yourself off and try to smooth down your hair as much as you can without a brush. Your body is sore from sleeping on the hard ground but you don’t comment on it.

Grimmjow again helps you on the horse before taking his seat behind you. Yet again the two of you rode in silence, which is fine with you, it felt as if you’d only been asleep a few short minutes before you’d been woken up. Eventually a small town comes into sight in the distance. “While we are here you need to do exactly as I say and stay close. No wandering away, no talking to anyone you don’t need to, no nonsense. Understand princess?” He rasps against your ear as a man riding in a horse drawn cart rolls past. The man smiles and nods towards the two of you and you do the same, Grimmjow doesn’t move behind you, choosing instead to follow the man with his eyes as he passes.

“I understand.” You respond to him and he nods before straightening out behind you. The town is nothing special; you take note as you ride though it. The roads are wet with mud and you wonder if it ever dried. A few people watched as you rode by but nobody stopped or said anything, you kept your eyes ahead and tried not to look as nervous as you were. Most of the buildings were made from old and cracking stone and a few of the houses even had broken and boarded windows. Few people were out and about, most huddled inside the buildings but you could see a few peeking at you through windows or standing in doorways of public spaces.

Eventually you came to a stop in front of what you assumed was the inn. The building's stone was cracking matching with the rest of the town and the side of the building was adorned with the most rickety looking wooden stairs you’d ever seen leading to multiple sets of doors which you assumed held the rooms. Grimmjow dismounted and tied the horse to the hitching post outside the main set of doors. He offers you a hand and you take it gingerly as you step down into the mud. “Stay close.” He reminds you before leading you inside the building.

The inside looks just as run down as the outside, the floorboards are peeling upwards and the desk is made from rotting and chipping wood. The inside is dimly lit by a few windows and a few candles scattered along the wall. Once Grimmjow pushes the heavy wooden door open you see a woman behind the desk, she’s older, white hair and wrinkled skin, she doesn’t look at Grimmjow at all and instead focuses on you with a puzzled look. The woman doesn’t move from her spot over a book as Grimmjow approaches the desk, you stay a few steps behind him but close enough.

A man of the same age appears from a room behind the desk and smiles brightly towards the two of you. “Lookin’ for a room.” He asks in a kind tone. The woman still stares at you and you can’t help but fidget, your picking at the skin on your hand as all manner of negative thoughts rush through your head. Does she recognize you? Does she know something’s wrong? You can’t help the anxiety that rises in you under her gaze and you wish she’d just look away.

“Why else would we be here?” Grimmjow bites back with an annoyed tone. The man just gives him another bright smile and flips through a handwritten book.

The man reads what’s on the pages before looking at the two of you. “I’ve got a nice room with our most comfortable double bed and-” the man began but Grimmjow cut him off.

“Two beds.” Grimmjow interjects and demands in a harsh tone. The woman looks at him in surprise and you do too. You don’t say anything, he already seems annoyed and you’d like to not make it worse. You’d assumed he’d just get one bed and take you there but you guessed not. You didn’t let yourself believe that he’d leave you alone though, you didn’t want to risk the disappointment, but still it was an interesting turn of events, you’d at least get your own space when he was done with you hopefully.

The man looks between the two of you, “Are you sure? We’re not in the business of judging round here?” The man asks as he cocks his head at you specifically. You highly doubt that. The woman looked like she’d enjoy nothing more than passing judgment and later gossiping with whoever would listen the second your backs were turned.

Grimmjow just scoffs and slams a few to many coins on the counter, the man's eyes widen a small bit at the overpayment and his eyes dart to Grimmjow, “Two beds and no more fucking small talk.” He growls out, anger clear in his voice.

The man simply nods and retrieves a small brass key, “Second floor, third door.” Grimmjow swipes the key quickly and turns on his heel, he storms past you and catches your wrist, dragging you along behind him. You let out a small squeak sound at the treatment but Grimmjow pays you no mind and just keeps dragging you on. He leads you back outside and you stumble a bit on the rickety stairs. He lets your wrist fall from his grip as he unlocks the door and holds it open gesturing for you to enter. You walk through the door and look around the small room.

Like the lower floor the wood on the floor is peeling upwards and cracked at strange angles. There is a small bed on either side of the room, pressed against the wall with plain white sheets and a small blanket on each. There’s a window evenly between each bed and underneath is a small tattered chest meant to hold personal belongings. Above each bed is a small shelf, each shelf holds a candle and a few books that look like they haven’t been touched in years. Opposite of the beds there’s a small door leading into a tiny bathroom which surprises you.

Grimmjow slams the door behind the two of you and throws the few bags you have on the furthest bed. He’s clearly angry and you’re not fully sure why, yeah the couple downstairs had been annoying but you didn’t think it was that bad. “I’m going out to get some stuff,” He starts and you look to him, “I’ll lock the door behind me, don’t let anyone in and stay the fuck away from the window, got it?” He growls out and you nod. You thought he wanted to sleep but you don’t voice your concern, not wanting to anger him further or turn his anger toward you.

Left alone again you’re unsure of what to do with yourself, you look around the room and decide to look at the books on the shelf. You pick up a fiction novel about a pirate and dust it off before curling up with your back to the wall on the bed that Grimmjow hadn’t claimed. You don’t get much reading done, in fact you don’t make it off the first page. Your mind is too occupied thinking about everything that could go wrong.

What if Grimmjow had been wrong? What if you didn’t have the time he thought you did? Perhaps Aizen would find you and kill you just to be done with the trouble, he could always claim that he’d brought you back and that you were staying in your room again. What if someone else killed you, or if someone recognized you and turned you in? What if the woman downstairs already had? What if you both were wrong about your father’s whereabouts? What if when you got to the northern mountains there’s nothing there? What if Aizen sends men out to kill your father and everybody else on the mountain? What if Nnoitra found you and Grimmjow wasn’t around? A thousand thoughts rush through your head and its work to keep yourself from hyperventilating.

You can’t stop yourself from overthinking. You pull your knees up to your chest and try to breathe and stop your own thoughts but you can't. Your mind just spins on and on, endlessly tormenting you and making you suffer. An unknown amount of time passes before Grimmjow returns, you're still in the same position but you lift your head as you hear the door unlock and open.

Grimmjow’s blue eyes fall to you immediately, “What happened? Are you alright?” He asks instantly, eyes darting around the room, you’re unsure what he’s looking for but his eyes fall back to yours as he waits for an answer.

“I’m alright, nothing happened.” You tell him, nothing technically had happened to you, you were just freaking yourself over nothing. Grimmjow's eyes narrow at you, for some reason his hair looks more wild than normal. In fact a lot of him looks more wild than normal, his clothes are wrinkled and as you look him over you see a swipe of blood on his wrist. Your eyes widen at the sight, “What happened?” You ask, letting your legs fall back to the bed and moving closer, you stop yourself before getting too close, figuring he wouldn’t want you to actually touch him.

His brows knit in confusion and his eyes fall to where you’re looking, he moves his wrist to look at it better and laughs a bit, “Not my blood, don’t worry about it princess.” He says as he walks further into the room.

“If it’s not yours then who’s blood is it?” You ask in a wary tone, he seemed in a bit of a better mood but if he had to go out and kill to achieve it you didn’t want that and didn’t know how safe you felt with him if that were the case.

He steps into the small bathroom to grab a rag and quickly wipes the blood from his arm, “You really want the answer to that?” Grimmjow asks in an amused tone, his eyes fall to you again as he sits on the mattress across from yours. You nod your head slowly, you don’t know that you necessarily want the answer but you need it. He smirks at you which doesn’t help the uneasy feeling that’s begun to rise in you, “Well princess, you’ve been a panicked little mess so I went out and made sure no one was following us.” He says casually.

You nod in understanding, the blood on his arm clearly indicated that he’d found someone and you can’t help but wonder how many people were out looking for you. “How many did you find?” You ask, trying to calm your nerves and failing as per usual.

“Just two, they’d almost made it to the clearing.” he begins, as he makes his way back into the room. “It’ll take them a few days to figure out they're gone, so can you calm down now?” He says before throwing himself on the mattress. You wonder if he’s done this to make you feel better or because he likes to fight, perhaps it's both but you're unsure. He looks to you and waits for you to say something, you don’t know what to say, while you do feel a bit better that no one who was looking for you was close by it still seemed like an unnecessary burden for him to take on.

“Why go through the trouble?” You ask, you realize that you might sound unappreciative but you don’t really care all that much. You can’t help but notice his attitude change either, this is the longest he’s gone without making some kind of lewd comment or trying to get a rise out of you, it was odd, especially considering he technically now had the right to do such things. You’d given him full permission and he’d stayed tame which made you feel strange. “I thought you’d only agreed because of…” You stumble for the right words for a second, “Because of the offer I made you. Why go through the trouble of any of this if not for that? Especially if you’re going to go out of your way for me? I don’t understand.” You tell him a bit shyly, not really looking at him.

Grimmjow stares at you for a minute before answering, in fact he doesn’t say anything until your eyes flick back to his own. He sighs deeply before flipping onto his side and holding his head up with his hand, “Do you want me to fuck you princess?” He asks bluntly.

Your entire body flushes and you gape at him for a second before you try to answer. His body language screams casual and collected but his eyes look completely different, almost predatory. “N-no!” You stutter out with embarrassment at his improper question.

With a shrug Grimmjow flops back to his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Well, there you go. Now drop it.” He bites out, he’s irritated but not near the amount he normally is. He still hasn’t answered your question which is annoying. With a sigh you pick the novel back up and decide to try to read again figuring he’s going to finally sleep for a bit.

Everything’s silent for a few minutes, you don’t get much reading done but you still manage more than your previous attempts. You wonder if your whole trip will continue in this manner, if he’ll stay irritated and angry the whole time, if he’ll keep you at arm’s length. After a while you hear Grimmjow shift and in your peripheral vision you can see that he’s looking at you for a second before again looking back to the ceiling. He takes a deep breath, “You remind me of my mother and sister.” He confesses in a calm and almost gentle voice. Your eyes widen and shot to him at the confession but he’s not looking at you.

[aghost-writer]

Enough

Chapter 6

This is a Yandere MHA/BNHA x Female Reader Fic!

MDNI!!

Y/N sat with her back rigid against the plush cushions of Hawks' couch, her arms folded tightly over her chest as if to shield herself from his prying eyes. She stared blankly at the untouched cup of tea on the coffee table before her. Its warm steam curled upward, but the aroma of it felt distant, irrelevant, like everything else in this moment. She wasn’t interested in the tea, nor was she interested in being here at all. The feeling of frustration that had been building ever since Hawks had brought her here swirled around in her chest like an unwelcome guest.

Across from her, Hawks seemed to be in no rush. He leaned casually against the wall, one wing partially unfurled and twitching slightly, like it mirrored the agitation he refused to show outwardly. His golden eyes studied her carefully, searching her expression for a crack, a sign that she was more than the hard exterior she wore. For once, his usual cocky smirk wasn’t present. Instead, there was only a calm, measured expression, as though he had finally realized that pushing her too hard wasn’t going to work.

“You’re not going back to wherever you came from,” he said, his tone firm but not unkind. His voice had an edge of concern beneath it, but it wasn’t soft like it usually was when he was teasing or flirting. This time, he meant it. “Not tonight, not in this state.”

Y/N’s eyes snapped up, the edge in his voice biting through her resolve. She was still angry, still deeply frustrated by how this situation had unfolded, but she couldn’t deny the exhaustion tugging at her, both emotionally and physically. She pressed her lips together and responded sharply, trying to push him away with her words, even if she couldn’t quite manage to do so with her body. “I’m fine.”

“Sure,” he responded, his tone flat, not buying it for a second. “Because bleeding all over an alleyway is totally fine, right? Not to mention—”

“Stop,” she cut him off, her gaze snapping to him, her glare sharp as a blade. She refused to look at the bloodstains on her clothes. They were a reminder of what had happened, of who had done it, and she wasn’t ready to relive any of that right now. “I told you I don’t need your help. I can take care of myself.”

Hawks raised an eyebrow, looking completely unbothered by her sharp tone. “Oh yeah? Is that why you called me earlier, asking for help? Because you’ve got it all handled?”

Y/N’s fists clenched at her sides as her jaw tightened. She couldn’t tell if she was more frustrated with him for pressing or with herself for needing him. “That was… different.”

“Sure it was,” Hawks said, his voice taking on that teasing quality again, but there was something more serious behind it now. “Look, I’m not trying to pry—okay, maybe I am—but it’s not just about you, alright? You show up at the UA entrance exam covered in blood, looking like you’ve been through hell. That’s not something you just brush off.”

Y/N’s gaze dropped to the floor, the weight of his words hitting her harder than she expected. She wasn’t fine. She knew she wasn’t fine. But that didn’t mean she was ready to talk about it, especially not with him. “I already said I’m fine,” she muttered, keeping her voice low.

Hawks sighed, rubbing his temples as if trying to stifle the frustration creeping in at the edges of his calm. “Alright, fine. Let’s say I believe you. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. What happens if you go back to wherever you’re staying and it happens again? What if you don’t have time to call someone for help next time?”

“I’m not talking about this,” Y/N snapped, standing up abruptly, the movement sharp and sudden, like she couldn’t stand being in one place for too long.

“Then let me help you another way,” Hawks countered quickly, his voice lowering, almost gentle despite the frustration underneath. “I’ve already helped a little, you know. I sent in a recommendation letter for you to UA’s business school.”

Y/N froze in place. The words took a moment to register, and when they did, she felt her heart skip a beat. She turned to face him, disbelief flashing across her face. “You what?”

“Yeah,” Hawks said nonchalantly, his usual smirk back in full force, though it seemed a little softer than usual. “I’ve got connections. I figured you’d ace the exam anyway, but it doesn’t hurt to have a little extra support, right? You’re welcome, by the way.”

Her jaw tightened, a mix of anger, confusion, and something else swirling inside her. Something she couldn’t quite name. “Why would you do that?”

Hawks’ expression shifted. The teasing, lighthearted air about him disappeared, replaced by something more sincere, something almost vulnerable. “Because I believe in you, Y/N,” he said, the words spilling out without hesitation. “You’ve got potential, and you’re smart enough to know it. You just need someone to remind you that you’re worth investing in.”

Y/N felt something choke in her throat, the unexpected kindness breaking through her defenses for just a second. She swallowed it down, refusing to let it show. “You didn’t have to do that,” she said quietly, her voice softer now.

“Maybe not,” Hawks replied, stepping closer, his voice becoming gentler, but his eyes held the same unwavering intensity. “But I did. And I’m not letting you go back to… wherever it is you’re trying to sneak off to. Not until I know you’re safe.”

Y/N glared at him, a surge of frustration hitting her all over again. “You can’t keep me here, Hawks. I’ll leave if I want to.”

“Yeah?” Hawks said, his voice darkening, but his eyes still filled with that same concern. “And if you do, I’ll have no choice but to get the police involved. You show up like that to an exam, covered in blood, and you expect me to just ignore it? I don’t want to do that, Y/N, but I will if it means keeping you safe.”

The weight of his words slammed into her. She knew he wasn’t bluffing. He wasn’t one to make empty threats. And the last thing she needed was the police digging into her life—or worse, her brother’s. Her chest tightened, her breath catching in her throat as she fought to keep herself composed.

“Fine,” she finally muttered, her voice barely audible, as though the words themselves were dragging her down. “You win.”

Hawks’ expression softened, though there was a touch of sadness behind his smile. “I’m not trying to win, Y/N. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Y/N didn’t respond. She turned her head away from him, staring at the wall in front of her. Deep down, she knew he meant well, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. The weight of everything—of what had happened earlier, of her brother, of the things she couldn’t say—was too much to carry alone. And yet, she felt as though she was being dragged into something she wasn’t ready for.

For now, though, she’d stay. At least until she figured out her next move.

The living room was bathed in a soft, dim glow, the only light coming from a small, flickering lamp on the side table. Y/N sat curled up on the couch, her legs tucked underneath her as she stared at the screen of her phone, her thumb hovering over the screen. She hadn’t touched it all day, not since the chaos of the exam and everything that had happened after. Hawks had gone to bed hours ago, after a final unsuccessful attempt to convince her to sleep in the guest room. She had insisted the couch was fine. In the end, he had reluctantly relented, though not without some muttered complaint about her being stubborn. The last thing she wanted was to sleep in a room that felt too much like being caged, even if the space was large and comfortable.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, pulling her from her thoughts. She glanced at the notification, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the name at the top of the message. Izuku. She hadn’t opened his messages yet. In fact, she hadn’t opened them at all today, and the guilt that hit her immediately was a heavy, suffocating weight. She had been so wrapped up in everything else—everything that had gone wrong—that she hadn’t even realized how much time had passed. She hesitated, fingers hovering over the screen, before reluctantly opening the conversation.

The flood of unread messages hit her all at once, each notification a silent reminder of how much time had passed without a word from her. She scanned through them quickly, her chest tightening with every line she read.

Izuku: Hey, are you okay?   Y/N?   Did you make it to the exam?   I was waiting for you, but I didn’t see you anywhere…   Are you mad at me?   Please text me back. I’m worried.

Her stomach churned at the sight of his frantic words. It wasn’t like her to go silent, especially when Izuku had been looking for her. She knew he’d be worried. He always worried, even when there was no reason to. But this time, there *had* been a reason, and now here she was, stuck in this mess of guilt.

With a sigh, she ran a hand through her hair, staring at the screen. The weight of it all felt overwhelming. It had been a rough day—a terrible day—and Izuku didn’t deserve to be left in the dark like this. Slowly, she began typing a reply, the words coming as slowly as the thoughts in her mind.

Y/N:  Hey, I’m so sorry for not responding sooner. I didn’t mean to worry you.   The business school exam was in a different location than the hero exam. I was running late and didn’t have time to explain.   I saw your texts after, but things got… complicated.   I’m sorry for missing our meet-up. I really didn’t mean to.

She stared at the message, her finger hovering over the screen. Was that enough? Would he understand? Part of her didn’t want to explain everything, not tonight. It was too much, and she wasn’t ready to talk about the chaos of the day, the blood, or the confusing feelings she had been trying to push away all day. But it was Izuku. He deserved better than that, especially since he had been waiting for her, worrying about her.

After a few moments, Y/N took a deep breath and continued, pushing herself to be a little more honest, to let him in, just a little.

Y/N:   I’m fine now, but it’s been a rough day. I’ll explain everything later, okay?

As soon as she hit send, she felt a sharp pang of guilt—what if that wasn’t enough? What if he was still worried? But before she could second-guess herself, the reply came through, almost immediately, as if Izuku had been waiting on the other side of the phone.

Izuku: I thought something bad happened! I was so worried. Are you sure you’re okay?   I didn’t see you at all, and you usually answer right away…

A wave of relief washed over her at the sight of his concern. It wasn’t the usual “are you okay?” It wasn’t the usual “don’t worry about me.” This time, Izuku had been genuinely worried, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. Her heart softened, and she quickly typed a response.

Y/N: I’m okay, I promise.   I really am sorry for worrying you, Izuku.

She set the phone down for a moment, looking at the words on the screen. Part of her was still hesitant, still afraid of burdening him with too much. She had no idea what to say next. How could she explain the chaos of the day without it feeling like a confession she wasn’t ready to make? The truth was that *everything* had been overwhelming, from the exam to the things she couldn’t talk about, to the strange feeling that she was drifting further away from everyone, including Izuku.

But when her phone buzzed again, she couldn’t ignore the way his name lit up the screen.

Izuku: I’m just glad you’re okay!   I hope everything went okay with the exam.   I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you… I was so nervous about it, but I tried my best!   You’ve always been so strong, Y/N, I know you’ll do great too. Just don’t keep me in suspense too long, okay?  

Y/N smiled faintly as she read his message. Even though she hadn’t been able to meet up with him like they had planned, Izuku was still doing his best to cheer her up, to make her feel better even though he was the one who had been left hanging all day. The way he never doubted her, how he always seemed to find the bright side, it was one of the things that made him so special. She was grateful for it, even if she wasn’t sure how to tell him that.

Y/N:  You did great, I’m sure of it. And thanks, Izuku. You always know how to make me feel better.

They continued texting for another hour, the conversation flowing easily between them. He told her about how he’d managed to get through the exam despite breaking a couple of bones along the way, and she teased him lightly about his tendency to push himself too hard. The tension between them seemed to dissipate with every text, until they were both laughing over silly jokes about recovery strategies and Izuku’s fear of hospitals. 

Eventually, their conversation came to an end, and Y/N found herself typing out a final goodnight message, the kind that felt both comforting and bittersweet.

Y/N: Goodnight, Izuku. I hope you sleep well and wake up feeling even better. 

She set her phone back on the coffee table and leaned back against the couch, feeling the weight of the day catch up with her. The guilt over not answering him sooner was still there, but it didn’t sting as badly anymore. She had done her best to make things right. 

As she stared up at the ceiling, her thoughts turned to Hawks and his insistence on helping her. She couldn’t stay at his place forever, but for tonight, the couch didn’t seem so bad. Maybe it was just because she was tired—so very tired—but for the first time that day, she felt a little lighter. The space around her felt a little less suffocating, and the thought of facing whatever came next didn’t feel as overwhelming.

For now, at least, she had time to breathe.

Izuku sat cross-legged on his bed, the soft, cool glow of his phone casting shadows across his face. His fingers hovered over the screen, his gaze locked on Y/N’s messages. He’d read them again and again, his mind running in circles as he tried to piece together what had happened. His brow was furrowed, and his lips pressed into a thin, tense line. The same words kept echoing in his head.

Y/N: The business school exam was in a different location than the hero exam. I was running late and didn’t have time to explain.

The words struck him hard. It wasn’t like Y/N to be vague, let alone lie. She had always been so upfront with him—honest, straightforward, in her quiet, subtle way. So why had she said this? He knew exactly where the UA Business College entrance exam had been held. He’d looked it up weeks ago, eager to know every little detail about her exam as they’d planned their days. He wanted to be there for her, even if it meant he’d be focusing on his own exam in a completely different part of the campus.

The Business College building was close to the venue for the hero exam, but it was in a separate building. So why had she made it sound like it was elsewhere? He replayed the conversation in his head. Could it be a mistake? No. He was sure of it—Y/N wasn’t someone who mixed up locations like that.

His mind reeled, replaying the hours before the exams. He’d spent most of his time running around preparing, but he’d checked in with her. They’d made plans, after all. They had talked about the exams, joked about how stressful it all was, how they would meet up afterward to talk about it, and how they both hoped things would go smoothly. But then, he never saw her at the hero exam site. She hadn’t texted him until much later in the day, and by then, he had already been searching for her.

The nagging feeling twisted in his stomach again. He couldn’t shake the thought: Why lie to me?

Izuku leaned back against the headboard, placing his phone on his knee. His messy green hair fell into his eyes as he let out a long breath. He didn’t know what to think anymore. The frustration was building up, the uncertainty gnawing at him. He hated not knowing, especially when it involved someone he cared about so deeply. Y/N was his closest friend—the person who had always been there for him, even when he was quirkless. She had supported him through all the years when no one else would. It didn’t make sense for her to lie to him, to push him away now.

He couldn’t help but think, Maybe something happened. Maybe it wasn’t as simple as a misunderstanding or a lie. What if she had gotten caught up in something she couldn’t explain? Maybe there was more to her situation than she had let on. But even then, the thought of her being in danger or trouble terrified him. He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms.

Maybe she doesn’t want to go to UA with me. The thought came unbidden, and it hit him like a punch to the stomach. His chest tightened painfully. His breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t considered that possibility before, but now it hung in the air like a weight pressing down on him. Could it be true? Was Y/N trying to distance herself from him? Had he done something wrong? He couldn’t understand why she would, but he couldn’t deny that the thought lingered in his mind.

No. He shook his head vigorously, as if trying to dispel the thought. That doesn’t sound like Y/N. She’d never just abandon him. She had always been the one to stand by him, even when things were tough, even when no one else was there. She had never given up on him, so why would she give up on their dreams now?

Izuku closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. There had to be a reason. He trusted Y/N—he knew her better than anyone else. She would never just shut him out like this. There was something she wasn’t telling him, something she didn’t want him to know. But what? What could it possibly be? And why wouldn’t she just tell him?

He turned the possibilities over in his mind, but they all felt incomplete, half-formed. Maybe her family didn’t want her to go to UA. He knew how controlling her father could be. He’d heard her mention him before, always in passing, always with a sense of discomfort in her voice. But would her father really stop her from chasing her dreams? And what about her brother? She rarely mentioned him, and when she did, she always changed the subject quickly. It wasn’t like Y/N to hide things like that, but maybe it had something to do with her family. Maybe they didn’t want her to leave. Maybe they didn’t understand why she had chosen this path, why she had chosen to follow her own goals instead of what they had in mind for her.

Y/N... Izuku whispered under his breath, gripping his phone tighter. It was all too much. Too many questions, too many uncertainties. He felt like he was spiraling.

He couldn’t stay here like this, sitting in the dark, unable to figure anything out. He needed to see her, to talk to her face-to-face. But for now, all he could do was wait for her to come to him. She had to come to him eventually, right? He needed to hear the truth from her, to understand what was really going on.

As much as it stung, he had to trust her. She wouldn’t lie to him without a reason. Whatever it was, it had to make sense. She had always been honest with him, and he believed that deep down, she was still the same person he had known all these years. The same Y/N who had been there when he had no one else, the same Y/N who had always encouraged him, even when he felt like giving up.

“I’ll figure it out,” he muttered to himself quietly, almost as if saying it aloud would make it true. He set his phone aside and collapsed back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He tried to focus on his breathing, but sleep didn’t come easily. His thoughts were too loud, too chaotic. All he could do was turn over the events in his head, searching for the answers he didn’t have.

And when sleep did finally claim him, his dreams were restless and full of worry. In his dreams, Y/N was running away, slipping further and further from his reach. He could hear her voice calling out to him, but each time he reached out, she was gone—vanishing into the distance, just out of his grasp.

The soft light of morning crept into the small apartment, casting a warm, golden glow over the modest living room. The air smelled faintly of sizzling bacon and freshly cooked eggs, a comforting scent that stirred something deep within her. Y/N stirred slowly on the couch, her body still heavy with sleep. Her mind was foggy, disoriented, as if she had just woken up from a dream that had already begun to slip away.

The lingering scent of breakfast seemed to coax her out of her slumber, her senses gradually waking up to the world around her. She mumbled groggily, “Kai… where’s my coffee?” Her voice was thick with sleep, hoarse and barely above a whisper. She rubbed her eyes with one hand, expecting to hear the familiar clink of a coffee cup being set down beside her.

But then, reality hit her like a slap to the face.

Her eyes shot open, heart racing, as her mind caught up with the situation. This wasn’t her home. The walls were unfamiliar, the furniture different. This wasn’t Kai. She wasn’t at his apartment, or anywhere that felt like the comfort of familiarity. The events of the previous day came rushing back in a blur—her arm, the alley, the chaos of the exam, the confrontation with Hawks. The pieces all clicked into place, but the rush of confusion and shock only intensified the knot in her stomach.

Y/N blinked rapidly, glancing around the room. It was simple, but neat—an apartment that clearly wasn’t her own. The leather couch she was on seemed far too comfortable, and her bag was neatly tucked beside her, as if someone had taken care to make sure everything was in its place. She was still wearing his oversized jacket, the sleeves hanging far past her hands, the fabric soft and warm, but far too large for her small frame.

The sound of a voice called from the kitchen, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Morning, Miss Quirkless!” Hawks’ voice rang out, lighthearted and teasing as ever. It was far too cheerful for someone who had been involved in the events of yesterday. “Breakfast is almost ready! You want some eggs? Bacon? Or do you just run on caffeine?”

Y/N groaned in response, dragging her hands down her face. “Coffee,” she muttered, her words muffled by the weight of her exhaustion. It was all she could think of—coffee to ground her, to clear the fog in her head.

“Coming right up!” Hawks called back, his voice still carrying that playful energy as he moved around the kitchen.

Y/N leaned back against the couch cushions, closing her eyes for a moment. She tried to collect herself, trying to piece together her scattered thoughts. The strange, aching feeling in her chest intensified as she realized just how easily her brain had defaulted to Kai. The name had slipped from her lips without thinking. *Why?* She had just been through a whirlwind of chaos, yet her mind still clung to him. It was like a bad habit, a reflex she couldn’t break, no matter how much she wished she could. 

“Stop thinking about it,” she whispered to herself, rubbing her temples. She had to focus, had to push away the memories that were threatening to overwhelm her.

A moment later, Hawks appeared in the doorway, balancing a tray with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a plate piled high with eggs and bacon in the other. He flashed her a grin, his golden eyes sparkling with that same mischievous glint. He was too casual, too cheerful for someone who had witnessed everything that happened yesterday. Y/N felt a brief flicker of irritation, but it was quickly pushed down as she reached for the coffee.

“Breakfast in bed—or, well, couch service,” he said, setting the tray down on the coffee table in front of her.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, her exhaustion not enough to mask the slight annoyance creeping into her voice. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

Hawks shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the arm of the couch with an easy confidence. “What can I say? I’m a gracious host. Plus, you looked like you needed it.” His grin softened a little, but it didn’t quite lose its playful edge.

Y/N ignored his teasing tone, instead reaching for the coffee. She took a long sip, feeling the warmth of the mug seep into her hands and the bitter taste of caffeine grounding her in the moment. Hawks watched her, his gaze steady, his smirk turning into something a little more thoughtful, a little less mischievous.

“You had a rough day yesterday,” he said, his voice quieter now, more serious. “You okay?”

Y/N didn’t meet his gaze. Her eyes remained fixed on the mug in her hands, the steam curling upward. “I’m fine,” she said shortly, the words coming out clipped. She didn’t want to talk about it, not yet, not with him. She barely knew how to talk about what had happened, let alone with someone like him.

Hawks didn’t press her. Instead, his eyes lingered on her for a moment longer, before he pushed off from the couch and straightened up. “Well, eat up,” he said, his tone light again. “You’re gonna need your energy if you’re planning to sneak out of here later.”

Y/N nearly choked on her coffee, a startled laugh escaping her. She glared at him over the rim of the mug. “What makes you think I’m sneaking out?”

Hawks raised an eyebrow, that grin of his spreading even wider. “Oh, come on. You think I don’t know you by now? You’re already plotting your escape. Just don’t forget to say goodbye this time.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond. Instead, she turned her attention to the plate of food, cutting a small piece of bacon with her fork. She wouldn’t admit it, but Hawks was right. She had no intention of sticking around longer than necessary. It was better this way—being on the move, not settling in one place for too long. But something in her chest twisted at the thought of leaving. She couldn’t stay here, no matter how strange the sense of safety was that she felt in Hawks' presence. It was fleeting, but it was there.

As she ate, Hawks leaned against the doorframe, his expression thoughtful, as though he were considering something. After a while, he spoke again, his tone softer now, less playful. “You know, you could stay,” he said, his voice low, almost tentative. “At least until you’re ready to deal with whatever it is you’re running from.”

Y/N paused, her fork hovering just above her plate. She didn’t look up at him, didn’t respond. The words felt too heavy, too loaded with meaning.

Hawks sighed, the sound almost imperceptible. He pushed off the doorframe and stepped toward the kitchen. “Just think about it, yeah?” he said quietly, almost as if he was speaking to himself more than to her. Then he disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts.

Y/N clenched her jaw, her mind racing. *Stay?* The idea gnawed at her, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. As much as she wanted to run, to escape everything that had happened, there was a part of her that didn’t want to leave this. The strange comfort of Hawks’ apartment, the slight warmth in his words, it was more than she had expected or wanted. She could never admit it out loud, but the small, stubborn part of her that wanted to feel safe, just for a little while, couldn’t ignore the pull of his offer.

For now, though, she’d focus on the food in front of her. One step at a time. Finish breakfast, then figure out the rest.

Y/N stood at the bathroom sink, clutching the edge with white-knuckled fingers as her stomach twisted painfully. The sensation of the food she had eaten churned in her gut, making her feel more foreign in her own body than she ever had. The bacon and eggs, simple and nourishing to most people, felt like a betrayal to her. It wasn’t just food. It was something *else*, something she wasn’t supposed to consume, not like this. It was never right. Never.

She retched, her body responding instinctively, and before she could stop it, the food she had just eaten was expelled from her stomach, splashing into the sink with a wet sound. The nausea lingered, making her shudder as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her breath came in shaky bursts as she leaned against the cold, sterile tiles of the wall. The bathroom felt smaller now, as if the walls were closing in on her with the weight of her own discontent.

The need to maintain appearances was something she had grown used to over the years. But it was exhausting, hiding the truth behind a mask of normalcy. She had to pretend she was fine, that everything was okay, even when her body felt like an alien thing. When everything inside her screamed to be rejected, her mind forced her to play along, to eat, to act like she was one of them. She wasn’t.

The sound of soft footsteps outside the door made her stiffen. It was faint, the quiet shuffle of shoes on the hardwood floor. She knew who it was. Even before the voice came, teasing yet laced with a thread of concern, she could feel his presence hovering just outside. It wasn’t a surprise. It was like he always knew when she was struggling. It was a curse and a blessing, depending on how she chose to look at it.

“You alright in there, Miss Quirkless?” Hawks called through the door, his tone light, but there was an underlying note of concern that cut through the usual teasing.

Y/N’s breath hitched, and she closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself to steady. She didn’t want to be seen like this—not by him, not by anyone. She couldn’t explain what had happened, couldn’t explain why she felt so wrong. But she couldn’t let him in, either. Not now.

“Yeah,” she replied, forcing her voice to sound normal, as if everything was fine. It was a lie, but it was all she had. “Just fine.”

There was a brief silence, a stillness that made her feel even more exposed. She could practically feel him on the other side of the door, weighing whether to push further. He always knew when she was holding something back. The problem was, she didn’t know how to let anyone in. Not now. Not with him.

Finally, she heard him exhale softly, a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of unspoken words. “You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” he said, his voice softening. The usual bravado had melted away, replaced by a gentler tone. “I’ve seen worse. It’s okay if you’re struggling.”

Y/N flinched as if he’d slapped her, her fingers tightening on the edge of the sink. She hated it when people saw her like this—vulnerable, raw. She didn’t want anyone’s pity, not from him, not from anyone. She didn’t need it. Not now. Not when she was barely holding on.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, her voice firmer this time, though the tremor in the words betrayed her. She didn’t look at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn’t. She didn’t need to see the exhaustion in her eyes. The pain she had been trying to bury for so long had a way of finding the surface, no matter how hard she fought against it.

Another long silence stretched between them. She could feel him there, lingering in the stillness, unsure of whether to press the issue. The air in the bathroom seemed thick with all the things left unsaid. Y/N could hear the soft rustle of his wings as he shifted his position outside the door, and her stomach twisted again, though it had nothing to do with the food.

“You sure about that?” Hawks asked, his voice quieter now, almost coaxing. The way he said it made her feel like he was reaching out, trying to pull her from the place she’d buried herself in. He wanted to help, she knew that. But she couldn’t let him.

Y/N didn’t answer him. She couldn’t. The words were lodged somewhere deep inside her, but she couldn’t speak them, not here, not now. She wasn’t ready to break down, not in front of him. She wasn’t ready to explain why everything felt wrong, why her body rejected the simplest things, why she couldn’t let herself feel *normal*. So, instead of responding, she turned the cold water on, splashing her face, hoping the sharpness of the chill would drown out everything else—the pounding in her chest, the frustration, the vulnerability.

It didn’t help. It didn’t make the feeling go away, but it was enough to mask the cracks in her exterior, enough to hide the truth, if only for a few moments.

“Just… leave it alone,” she muttered, not caring whether he heard her or not. She didn’t want his sympathy. She didn’t want to explain why she couldn’t *be* normal. She just wanted him to go away, to stop looking at her like he could see the weakness in her that she fought so hard to conceal.

For a moment, there was no response from him. No sound of his wings, no shifting of his weight. Just silence, thick and suffocating. Y/N stood still, her fingers still gripping the sink as she tried to steady her breath.

Then, finally, Hawks spoke again, his voice softer than before, as if he’d made a decision in the silence. “Alright, Miss Quirkless,” he said, his tone carrying reluctant understanding. “But if you need anything, I’m here.”

Y/N’s heart pounded, but she didn’t respond. She couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come, not when she felt so… broken. She didn’t want his help. She didn’t want anyone’s help. She didn’t need anyone to see her like this. Not even him.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, the words coming out louder this time, more certain, as if saying them aloud would somehow make them true. She didn’t want him to see her falling apart. She didn’t want anyone to see.

Another moment of silence passed, the quiet heavy with the weight of everything unspoken. Then, she heard the soft sound of Hawks’ footsteps fading away, the rustle of his wings as he moved further from the door.

Y/N stayed in the bathroom a little longer, letting the cool water run over her skin as she tried to push the feeling of weakness away. It didn’t help. It didn’t make her feel better. But it was enough to keep the cracks hidden—for now.

And for now, that was enough.

Y/N sat curled up on the couch, the soft hum of the room surrounding her as she stared at her phone. Her fingers hovered just above the screen, uncertain of the message she was about to send. The weight of the words felt heavier than they should have, each letter a small step towards a truth she wasn’t sure she was ready to share. She had told herself she needed to keep moving forward, even if it meant making small, cautious confessions that felt like they could shatter her if she wasn’t careful.

Her thumb finally hovered over the keyboard, her thoughts swirling like a storm. She had to do this. She owed him that much. It was important to let him know, even if it hurt. She knew the truth couldn’t stay hidden forever, even if it made her feel like she was standing on shaky ground.

Y/N: “Hey, Izuku. Just wanted to let you know… I’m not living with my brother anymore. I’m in the process of moving. Not sure where yet, but I’ll figure it out soon.”

She paused after pressing the send button, staring at the words, almost willing them to dissolve into the screen. It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the whole truth, either. She could already feel the weight of what she had left out—how everything had changed between her and her brother, how things had escalated to the point where leaving was the only option. She had done what she could to keep it vague, to make it seem like just a change in living arrangements. But the truth was, she had fled. And there was no going back.

There was so much more she wanted to say—so many details about why things had shifted. But the words felt too dangerous. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him, not yet. Not when there was still too much hurt, too many unanswered questions swirling in her mind. The memory of her brother’s betrayal lingered like a dark shadow she couldn’t shake. She couldn’t risk him finding her again. Not after everything he had done.

The phone buzzed in her hand, and she instinctively picked it up. Izuku’s reply came through quickly, filled with concern and care that she could feel even through the cold glass of the screen.

Izuku: “Y/N, are you okay? If you need a place to stay or anything—”

Her breath hitched as she read his message. She knew he meant well. Izuku was one of the kindest people she knew, and his offer was genuine, his concern evident in every word. But she couldn’t bring herself to accept it. Not yet. She appreciated the offer, but it wasn’t something she could take from him, not when her whole world was falling apart and she didn’t know how to put it back together. She didn’t want to drag him into this mess, not with everything going on. Not with the chaos that still clung to her like a second skin.

Y/N: “I’m fine, Izuku. Don’t worry about me.”

The words tasted like ash in her mouth. She knew she was lying, but it was easier this way. Easier to pretend everything was okay, to play the part of someone who had it all together when the truth was far more complicated. It wasn’t just about moving anymore. It was about the fact that she couldn’t go back to the life she had known, that everything felt unfamiliar now. The only thing that was certain was the weight of her own loneliness, the knowledge that no matter how much she told herself she didn’t need anyone, a part of her still yearned for something more. Someone who could understand, someone who could help her carry the weight of all the things she couldn’t say.

She sighed softly, placing the phone down beside her as she leaned back against the couch. The silence in the room was almost suffocating, the stillness of the space reminding her of how small and isolated she felt in the world. She couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that she didn’t belong here, that this wasn’t where her story was supposed to end. She needed to keep moving, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if it meant walking a path she couldn’t fully see.

As she sat there, her mind drifted to Hawks and his words from earlier. “I’m here if you need anything.” She hadn’t given him the satisfaction of a response, had brushed him off as though his offer didn’t matter. But deep down, she wondered if she had made the right choice. He had been kind to her, too, had seen something in her that she wasn’t sure anyone else had. It was easy to shut people out when you were used to being alone, but there were moments—small, fleeting moments—when she felt the weight of her solitude and wished it didn’t have to be this way.

She looked at her phone again, seeing Izuku’s name on the screen. He had replied once more, his message so sincere it almost made her heart ache.

Izuku: “I’m really glad you’re doing okay. I hope we both pass the exam. And remember… you don’t have to face everything alone.”

Y/N’s fingers lightly touched the screen, her heart tightening as she read the words. There was so much in that simple message—so much kindness and understanding, and yet it felt like a reminder of everything she didn’t want to acknowledge. She had spent so long convincing herself that she was strong enough to face things on her own, that she didn’t need anyone’s help. But Izuku’s message struck a chord deep within her. It made her question whether she was really strong enough to do it all alone, or if maybe, just maybe, there was someone out there who could help her carry the weight of it all.

Y/N: “Thanks, Izuku. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

She hit send and set the phone back down beside her, the weight of his words still lingering in her chest. She couldn’t bring herself to admit that she wasn’t okay, that the world felt like it was spinning too fast, and she couldn’t keep up. But in that moment, she also realized that maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have to carry it all alone. The thought was both comforting and terrifying.

The room was quiet again, the hum of the world outside pressing in against the stillness of her small space. Y/N glanced around, feeling like an outsider in her own life. She wasn’t sure where she was going or what the next step would be. She didn’t know if she could rebuild everything from the ground up. The uncertainty stretched out before her like an endless horizon, but she couldn’t stand still. She couldn’t remain here, in this moment, forever. She had to keep moving.

And yet, as much as she told herself that she was fine, that she could handle things alone, a small part of her couldn’t ignore the truth: maybe she didn’t have to. Maybe there was room in her life for someone else to help carry the burden, even if that someone was just a friend.

For now, that thought was enough to keep her moving forward.

[hollywoodxwhore]

Ours | Chapter Twelve

Colson x Presley (Original Female Character)

Synopsis: Presley and Colson fell in love accidentally, but they were meant to be. Now that all the obstacles have been removed, they're moving in together in LA. Now, they have all the time in the world for Colson to teach Presley all of the things he knows. This fic is the sequel to Mine, which can be found in my masterlist!

Warnings/Content: ANGST (it's going to get worse after this chapter so please check content warnings), swearing, depression, col over reacting, col & presley arguing, mentions of domestic abuse, MF being a dumb asshole

Colson

I’ve been walking around like a zombie for the past three weeks.

I feel terrible about it. I should be celebrating our album, celebrating the fact that I’m married, celebrating my birthday that passed by weeks ago, but I can’t. April turned into May and as the weather warms and the days get longer, I just can’t pull myself out of this hole. 

I barely talk to anyone, even Presley. She’s understanding and kind and patient but I know how much it hurts her. We fall asleep together most nights but we haven’t had sex since before Megan’s post came out. I miss her, of course I do. 

I find her in the kitchen, finishing up dinner, and before she notices me, I take a second to watch her. She looks like she’s lost some weight from her already thin frame. Her hair is in a messy claw clip and she wears sweats and a giant t-shirt. Come to think of it, she’s been acting depressed, too. Probably because her husband has turned into a depressed lump whom half the world hates. Maybe half the world is dramatic, but it feels like it.

I haven’t been on social media and I’ve only been replying to those closest to me. Even then, my replies are few and far between. I can only imagine what’s being said about me. My lawyer told me Megan was forced to delete her post, but it’s not like it matters. Everyone already saw it. Everyone already drew their own conclusions. 

As Presley turns around to place our bowls on the island, she spots me. She straightens up a little and her face, a mask of misery and exhaustion, transforms into a weak smile. She’s trying so hard for me but I can tell she’s also feeling broken. I imagine I’d feel the same way if she was going through something painful. I sigh and walk over to her. She turns to look up at me and I slide my arms around her waist, pulling her in.

“Col,” she murmurs, nuzzling her face against my neck. I say nothing. I stand there and hold my wife, trying my best to draw strength from her. But nothing is better and everything is fucked up and I’m so scared. I just need Presley. I need to be close to her, to forget the rest of the world. 

I bend to scoop her up and her legs go easily around my waist. I settle her on the island and press my forehead to hers, my hands sliding over her thighs. “Pres,” I say roughly. Her hand delicately rests on my cheek. “I’m sorry I haven’t been myself.”

“Colson,” Presley tries, shaking her head, but I continue.

“It’s not fair for me to shut you out. I just don’t have anything productive to say,” I mutter.

“Talking about your feelings isn’t unproductive, Col,” Presley gently points out. “I just want you to tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking.”

“I’m…I’m fucking scared,” I say haltingly, like the words don’t want to come out. “I don’t know what this is going to mean for my career. It could kill me, Pres.”

Presley chews her lip. “Quite honestly, there are a ton of abusive men in Hollywood and they’re pretty much all forgiven.”

My brow furrows. “But I’m not an abuser,” I say tightly.

“No, Col, I know that,” Presley says, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean–”

I push away from her, shaking my head. “Don’t even compare me to those assholes,” I say, anger and fear rising in my chest. 

Presley’s eyes widen as she hops down from the counter. “Colson, I’m not–”

“You fucking believe her, don’t you?” I scoff, frowning deeply at my wife. 

“Colson, you’re–”

“Nah, that’s fucking cute, Presley,” I say shortly, tearing a hand through my hair. “Thought you of all people had my back.”

“Colson, stop!” Presley pleads, crossing her arms protectively across her chest.

“Let me guess, you’re going to ask for a divorce soon,” I scoff. I know I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t want to be blindsided again. If she’s going to leave, I need to be prepared for it.

“Stop. You just want to hurt your own feelings,” Presley shoots back, her eyes narrowing. “You know I don’t feel that way.”

“Maybe you fucking do, though,” I mutter, and Presley explodes.

“Oh, fuck off!” she snaps, her eyes wide and fierce with anger. “I’ve been nothing but supportive and patient and sweet to you. I don’t force you to talk. I don’t tell you what to do. And now you want to put shit on me?”

“Presley,” I say, heart sinking. 

She shakes her head, holding a hand up. “You can wallow in your own fucking misery by yourself tonight,” she says. “I’m going to Cash’s.” With that, she abandons the kitchen and takes the stairs two at a time up to our room. 

Panic rises within me and I want to follow her but I feel frozen in place. She comes downstairs a few minutes later. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Presley slips into a pair of slides, shoulders her bag, and slams out of the house. 

And now, I’m completely alone. 

Presley

I wake up at Cash’s place the next morning with my eyes so swollen I can barely open them.

I don’t let Colson see how much this all impacts me because he’s the one really dealing with it. I’m just the wife. But I’m also the one who sees what’s being said on social media. I’m the one that interacts most with Jason, Colson’s lawyer. I’m the one who responds to texts from friends and emails about interviews. I don’t think Colson has any idea how much I’ve been doing since this all happened.

I’m completely exhausted. I miss my husband. I miss how things were just a month ago, before Megan ruined everything. She can’t stand seeing Colson happy with someone else. I see it for exactly what it is, but too many people still see Megan as this sexy, perfect woman and how dare MGK even breathe the same air as her! 

I hate her, and I don’t hate people. Usually, I’m pretty indifferent to anyone I don’t know. I’m protective of those I love, but I’m pretty good at just brushing people off. But I actually hate Megan. The fact that she’s making allegations like this for attention, for revenge on Colson for not taking her back when she was the one who hurt him in the first place. Colson is right – he’ll probably never come back from allegations like this. 

Jason is at a standstill with things; Megan’s lawyer isn’t very communicative, but I wake up with a strong feeling that I have to do something about this and very fucking soon. I stare at the ceiling for a long time, fingers twitching. “Fuck it,” I mutter, snatching my phone off the nightstand. Do not disturb is still on, so I ignore any notifications and scroll down, finding her original text to me. I type up the message and stare at it for three minutes before I finally hit send. 

There. Can’t take it back now.

It’s raining as I navigate LA traffic, hoodie pulled over my head. I must look wild right now, no makeup, messy hair, sweats and a hoodie. Slides on my feet. But I don’t give a fuck. This ends today. 

I send a text to announce my arrival and the gate slowly creeps open. It gives me some satisfaction that her house is smaller than ours and nowhere near as nice or unique. I park in front of the garage and walk up to the front door. I should be nervous but I’m not. I’m angry. I’m motivated. She doesn’t get to do this.

Before I even walk up the steps, the door is open. Megan stands there, one hand curled around the door, her long nails like talons. It’s funny – I used to have such a crush on Megan Fox. She was that girl-next-door kind of sexy, a little daring in the things she’d say but still coy enough. But up close, it’s clear just how much surgery she’s gotten done, and it doesn’t suit her. She can do whatever she wants; anyone can. But that doesn’t mean it looks good.

We nod at each other and I step inside as she moves out of my way. “Shoes off, please,” she says, and I leave my slides by the door. I follow her into a stark white dining room area. It’s the exact opposite of comfortable here. How does anyone live like this? 

“Have a seat,” Megan says, gesturing to one of the stiff chairs. I need to play this the right way, so I do as I’m told. She goes to the other side of the table and has a seat, slowly pushing her long hair off her shoulder. Her eyes find mine and she regards me for a second. Then, she smirks. “Colson has a type.”

“I don’t think he does,” I say, unable to help myself. “Where you’re a cold, vindictive bitch, I’m actually nice and I care about him.”

Megan snickers, quirking a brow. “Good to know you have some bite to you, Presley,” she says. “Why did you want to come here?”

“I thought we could have tea and girl talk,” I say, cocking my head to the side. “Why do you think I’m here, Megan?” I’m trying to keep it together, but now that I’m across the table from her, my anger is an entity in the room with us. 

She smirks but then it fades. She’s an actress but not a very good one. She’s trying so hard to look broken and sad but I see right fucking through it. “Has he hit you yet?” she asks.

“Cut the bullshit,” I say, tone clipped. “You and I both know Colson never laid a hand on you.”

“Oh, he laid hands on me several times, if you catch what I’m saying,” she says, that smirk reappearing. “Does he tell you you’re the most stunning woman he’s ever seen while he fucks you?” She leans forward, pressing her huge, fake breasts up. “He once told me I have the nicest body of any woman he’s been with. Has he said that to you?”

She’s trying to hurt me. She’s trying to get me to snap. This is what she does. I absolutely refuse to give into her games.

“So you’re saying any time he touched you, it was consensual,” I say.

Megan rolls her eyes. “Of course. You guys are all idiots,” she says. “Colson can posture all he wants but you know he’d never hurt a fly. But it’s so easy to get people to believe it. He has a reputation, after all. Aren’t you quite a bit younger than he is?”

“And aren’t you ten-plus years older than me and trying to scare me?” I shoot back. There it is – a tiny crack in the persona. A flicker of insecurity. It empowers me. “Why can’t you just let us be happy? You didn’t even want him. You left him, remember?”

Megan leans back, crossing her arms. “And now I want him back,” she says, eyes burning into mine.

“Do you think this is the way to get him back?” I ask, incredulous. “Holy shit. That’s so sad.”

“Don’t do that,” she says, a sour look taking over her features. “Don’t try to make me feel pathetic. It won’t work.”

“You need to admit that Colson never hurt you. Or his lawyer is going to sue you for everything you fucking have,” I say coldly.

“So what?” Megan snorts. “He can go right ahead. What’s done is done. No one will ever forget that I put that post out there.” She shrugs.

“But he never hit you. He never physically assaulted you,” I say.

“Of course he didn’t,” Megan scoffs. “Like I said, he was a pussy.”

My nostrils flare in anger but I’m almost done. “I want you to admit it,” I mutter. “To me.”

“Really?” Megan says, a grin broadening on her face. “You want me to admit that Colson never hurt me? He didn’t. In fact, I hit him. Several times. He deserved it.” Another crack in the exterior. A cold, desolate anger that I’ve never seen in anyone else before. This woman is fucking scary. 

“You’re sick,” I say, getting to my feet. “Leave us the fuck alone.”

“We’ll see about that,” Megan says from where she sits. I slip into my shoes and leave. 

As soon as I get in the car, I stop the audio recording, a smile growing slowly on my face. I toggle to the end of the recording, stopping it right before her confession. I got it. I fucking got it.

This ends now.

Taglist: @triplexdoublex @jaxbreaker @mgklove99xx @jinx-on-mars-19xx @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @anonymousme86 @whiteleoqueen @feroniakutenpuu @hxllywoodwhxree

[ladyelissarose]

‘A Mother’s Revenge’

Chapter 5 - ‘What Am I Up Against?’

Melione’s POV

After I stomped away from Laswell, Soap tried to talk me down in my rage, but I kindly pushed him away. It hurt me to see the look of disappointment on his face, but then I changed it a bit when I told him I’d prefer a nice cup of tea, like the ones he ‘secretly’ made for Ghost after a long day. So soon I had the warm little cup in my hands, and a more pleased Soap. Yes, I liked his Scottish gentle spirit, that can be loud and contagious, but I needed to let out my rage and not keep it down n’ calm. Now I was wandering around, trying to remember where I had seen the tiny workout room, which consisted of a very worn out punching bag over a torn up mat, and a little bench with a couple of 50lbs barbells. (Maybe I could release my anger on that poor bag, and not express it on anyone else and expose my brokenness.) But I found out I was going the right way towards it, when I heard very loud poundings hit against something aggressively, like if a mad man was releasing his demons with every punch. 

‘Someone must be just as pissed... I feel like I could punch that hard too right now.’

I slowed my pace and began to creep towards the room, now curious about who it could be, who was probably just as raged as I was. But when I finally stopped about a couple of feet from the door, it completely stopped. Like if had never happened. Chills ran up my spine and my mind felt betrayed by what I thought I heard, making me believe that I was probably hearing things and hallucinating.

 ‘I know I heard someone hitting that bag... harshly and roughly, enough to where their knuckles are probably busted and bruised.. what could it be? Should I take a breath and wait to see if it starts again?’

So I waited... and waited.. nothing. No sound, no breath- nothing. As if they disappeared into thin air or weren’t even there.

 ‘What the hell? I’m not crazy right?’

I looked around and saw no one in sight, and that’s when I had enough of my mind swirling with possibilities. So I just took the dare to step in, and see it for myself. And there stood the punching bag, untouched and completely still, under the flickering light above it. Like I had suspected but doubted, which is now confirmed, I thought I saw no one. I scoffed in disbelief,

“What the fuck- AH!!”

My arm was then suddenly yanked back which had my front and face slammed into the wall next to the door. A heavy and harsh weight was pressed up against me as my arms were twisted behind me. I gasped in pain when they were twisted painfully harder and harsh words were seethed not my ear,

“Why are you spying on me?”

‘Fuck it’s Ghost- I’m so fucking dead.’

I was shoved harder when my answer I guess wasn’t given fast enough for him,

“What are you doing-“

“I- FUCK! Agh- was just going to take a few minutes here-“

Shove. And a rough tone,

“Liar.”

‘Bitch just called me a liar? Hell no.’

“Sonofabitch!- let me go!”

“Not until you tell me the truth!”

He seemed pretty agitated and it grew by the second, so to settle it simply, yet effectively, I replied with these set of words that I knew he’d hate.

“You’re just like Graves!! You don’t trust anyone or give them a chance!!”

And it worked. He shoved me one last time before letting me go and muttering under his breath,

“I’m not like Graves.”

I faced him immediately and then said,

“Then don’t act like him. I seriously was going to just-“

“-I thought you were someone else. I overreacted, and didn’t know how to stop once you were under me.”

‘what? He’s confessing he got scared?’

I raised my brows and chin up slightly, enough for him to register I understood him. For I was scared too, of things here and there that clicked like triggers, and I too, overreacted at times and didn’t know how to stop either. We both stood in silence for a moment as we tried to catch our breaths, our eyes just going back and forth, reading what we didn’t say. I was about to engage in a small talk to settle this but he moved rapidly and left without another word, hence leaving me alone and confused.

‘What the hell just happened?’

Ghost’s POV

‘Now she definitely won’t trust me because of my stupid issues... she might separate herself from me as she’s doing with Graves- SHE COMPARED ME TO GRAVES!! Gah I hated how that sounded..’

I wasn’t lying when I said I got scared, which desolated me for I never in my life ever told a soul when I was scared, yet with her I said it so freely. And I also didn’t confess why I was scared, I just left it at that and couldn’t breathe in another second while in her presence. The words she uttered to me earlier today still repeated itself in my head, like a broken recorder. They sounded so vengeful, so hungry...

‘let me have a taste..’

She said it with such a begging tone, wishing to take what she desired so much, a life. I know I took lives- many lives- too many to count, but I did it for my job. I did it to bring significance to my name and be the one to stop the bad, so others don’t go through I’ve been through. I sacrificed everything of me so others wouldn’t have too. Yes, there were times I pushed it too far, but that’s cause they made me step across that line as well. But Melione... she was so different, eager. And that, was what scared me and question,

‘what is she willing to sacrifice so she can get what she wants?’

Next morning...

Price’s POV

This early morning I already had Melione making phone calls with the dealers while I spoke with Simon, telling about the missiles that had gone missing.

“They said that the last Shadow Team lost them in an ambush... But they could be anywhere at this point... though Alejandro knows someone that could get us there.”

Simon only grunted lightly, letting me know to go on,

“Don’t know yet, but Alejandro left for Mexico this morning... he said once he has what we need, he’ll call us over.”

Another grunt, Simon was not in a communicating mood I guess, which was odd. For Simon always spoke to me, no matter what, but I didn’t have time to worry further about him when I heard Melione’s voice cone in and inform me,

“So the call turned out successful, They want to meet me in two weeks in Las Almas- but there is a dilemma.”

‘oh boy they caught into something-‘

Melione sent me a calm smile as she reassured me, as if she read my thoughts,

“No Captain, they haven’t suspected anything. What they did though is actually believe the façade of me being a bomb builder. And sense the last incident had us running away, it set us back, and now they want me to have a bomb already made and in hand.”

She seemed now a little upset in tone as she went deeper into her sentence, finally ending it with a heavy sigh and slouched shoulders. Ghost was the first to quip up a response as he muttered,

“Thought what you had in the bags was all the instructions and shite for that.”

Melione sparred him an irritated glance before looking back at me and wording a confession,

“Everything that is written in the books are cupcake recipes... not instructions for making bombs.-“

She then eyed Ghost as she sassed,

“Did you literally think I was able to make it-“

Ghost sat up and leaned forward with a growl,

“You were going to give them that and expect to live?!-“

Melione straightened her shoulders and defended herself,

“-It was part of my plan for execution! Now that has change so now I must accommodate and work with it!! Price?”

She now was back for me with ‘help me’ eyes, giving me the chance to settle what was all of a sudden a problem,

“Alright.. lass, work on that bomb, I’m sure you’ll be able to put something together, get together with one of the boys here, they can help you too. And Ghost let’s talk-“

Abruptly Ghost stood up and headed out with curt words,

“-Don’t need it, nothings wrong Price.”

‘oh... that definitely tells me something’s up.’

Melione watched him go with attentive eyes and the minute he was out of sight she whispered in a worried tone as she drew closer to me,

“Sir let me talk to him, please.”

She had pleading eyes that held something untold, but if she dared to speak to the angry Ghost, it was her risk. With a simple gesture to my hands sending her off I ordered,

“Go on lass, jus’ be careful.. He’s a tough shell to crack with much underneath.”

Melione wore a tight lipped smile then huffed,

“he kind of is.. I’ll let you know when I have the bomb making thing in the works.”

“I’ll await that moment.”

Then off she went, going in the direction Ghost had walked towards, outside. Sense this morning when I had woken her up from her slouched position on the stupid chair in the meeting room, I knew something was up. Melione looked slightly more tense, double checking her surroundings, and intensely holding her eyes on Ghost’s form the minute he came into her presence. Ghost as well was tense, he left Johnny’s tea cold and untouched, and he kept readjusting his mask and vest, like if he was self-conscious?

‘what could be up with those two?’

Ghost’s POV

As if my day couldn’t get more stressed out, I was then cursed more when I heard the voice of Melione call out to me,

“Ghost! Lieutenant! Lieutenant Ghost wait up-“

I whipped around and almost had her crash into my chest as she did her best to halt her moves, then with the emotion I already felt, I spat,

“-the fuck do you want?”

Her face dropped a little at my horrible demeanor while she explained,

“Ghost about last night-“

‘Yup I’m out.’

“-Don’t want to talk about it. At. All.”

She sucked in a breath to probably let out a long sentence explaining why we should but I cut her chase to it as I ended it,

“what happened there stays there. Just like what happened at the seaport... and what happened in the gym room, all stays there and is never mentioned again. Understood?”

I guess she didn’t realize I had clearly remembered her little words of evil hungry, as her eyes went wide and she took a step back. I could see how she swallowed harshly before nodding,

“ok... you’re right.”

And with that she walked off, back into the building, with a hot trial behind her, As Graves rushed in behind her. After what happened last night and what she did, like comparing me to Graves, I should’ve been pissed off enough to let her be bitten by the snake. But somewhere in my heart I couldn’t watch her go that route, not when I knew I could stop it. I didn’t trust Graves either, and hated seeing him trying to be around her, especially because he’s been extra off lately, and after what he did back at the seaport. I hated myself for going after her for her safety and protection, but yet I pushed my feet to head that way, but a familiar Scottish voice called me back with a hurry.

“Ghost! Need ya to see t’is! Now mate!”

In the distance I could see him waving me down frantically,

‘must be fuckin’ important... you better take care of yourself Melione.’

Hesitantly I walked away from my first direction, and instead went towards Soap, who held something in his hands. He looked down at it like if it was such a prized treasure, and it sparked my curiosity. Heading closer to him I saw how it shone in the light of the sun, he then saw how I close enough for him to say in a low whisper,

“Why don’t you say we test the blood on this necklace?”

It was Melione’s necklace, the one that held expensive golden rings. I gasped lowly and snatched it out of his hands as I harshly whispered at him,

“Johnny if she see this is missing she’ll kill all of us until she finds it!-“

With a hand on my shoulder Soap insisted,

“-She won’t realize it right away, Price has her occupied. So let’s take that chance to test the blood, then you can return it to her-“

‘he’ll no, not giving it back.’

I instantly shoved it back into Soap’s hands as I protested,

“Nope. You’ll do it.”

He raised a brow at me and twisted his stupid Scottish lip as he asked curiously,

“Why not? After what happened last night you ought to try and show her your sorry?”

I knew I shouldn’t have told Soap what had happened, but I needed to, so he can keep an eye on her for me.

But as much as I hated the thought of it, it actually sounded like a good idea after all. 

���I could just say it fell off of her while we struggled... makes sense. Now let’s test this blood. Maybe we can pull more out of her to inform Price.’

I took the necklace back in my hand and played with it a little as I examined it, I could see the dried blood in the crevasses of the diamonds... maybe we could get a good amount out of it. I looked down at Johnny and ordered him to follow me,

“Come on Johnny, let’s get this done before she has free time to see its missing.”

He nodded his head and smirked at me,

“Glad I could convince ya.”

“Shut up and move your arse.”

I pushed him away and had him walk ahead of me, as I turned back to glance at the door Melione went through. Now the only thing picking at my skin, was the fact that Melione was alone, with Graves. Hopefully she went to Price, or stuck with Gaz... not with him. For I didn’t trust him.

Melione’s POV

I felt a presence behind me and knew who it was, Graves happened to be the only one that breathed so loudly. I walked into the meeting room though and began to take my bag out and see what I had inside that could probably help me get started. I pod no attention to him, meaning I didn’t know if he left or not, so I was a bit startled when I heard his voice suddenly say,

“Listen, I know you’re ignoring me and don’t like me. But let’s talk about this. Please.”

 I slammed my bag on the floor and let out a frustrated sigh, first because he was here invading my space, second... I didn’t have anything to start with making a bomb. 

 ‘Let’s get rid of one burden at a time.. let’s see what he wants first.’

Trying to be polite and civil, not letting my annoyance and anger grow and slip out, because I was still upset about my Ghost situation. So I kept a straight face and asked.

“Fine... What do you want?”

I could see the tension be released in his shoulders, making me feel slightly bad for giving him such a hard time beforehand. But then he went on to approach me slowly and look everywhere but my eyes as he went on,

 “First things first. I apologize for almost  screwing up the mission. Second.. I heard about what Price mentioned, about the bombs?”

 His nice demeanor got me in a good mood and calm, so I went on to keep up the conversation sense it was good.

I nodded and leaned against the table while showing him my bag filled with unneeded material, he scoffed lightly as teased,

 “Nothing right?”

I let out a huff of a laugh as I confirmed,

“Yup. Nothing.”

He seemed invested while crouching down to see it, looking through my stuff and letting out a giggle when he saw the books filled with cupcake recipes. But he started reading into it with such curiosity, I couldn’t help but ask this, hoping to get something out of it, maybe he could help me, and also perhaps are bad blood could clear up.

 “How about this Graves.. I’ll bake you anything you want from that book.. if you help me make the bombs.”

 His eyes flicked to mine immediately, and they went from soft to mischievous, causing me to hold myself defensively, I couldn’t spare thinking nicely of anyone. But Graves took a quick stand and started to say in a smooth tone,

 “What if I told you... they were already made?”

 ‘What? Made already? What’s he talking about-‘ 

 “Don’t worry about it too gravely... you got a lot on your plate already. Just know that you’ll have them in Mexico. I promise and guarantee it.”

 We stood face to face holding our breaths after his last words, me calculating if he was being honest, and him waiting for me to see if I believed him. I wanted too, he looked like he was being pretty honest about it, and I was desperate, for I had nothing. With a quick shuffle he grabbed his phone from his back pocket and showed me a photo, that held the proof I needed, but it was missiles. Even better. I shook my head in disbelief,

 “Graves but these are missiles, which are better but-“

 “-We were going to send them off somewhere else but that mission went to shit so now they are on hold for anything else. I asked Shepherd and he said we could use it when we saw fit. And this is it.”

 ‘General Shepherd agreed to this? Huh, not a bad General after all... ok.’

 I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, we’d have something to show forth with, and it’d be big and good.

“Well if he’s sure about this, then we can use it, anything to just get in with them... thanks Graves.”

 The thick atmosphere in the room seemed to clear up as he sent me a tight lipped smile, and patted my shoulder with ease.

 “Anytime Lieutenant. Now rest up, your work is done.”

 A soft sigh left my lips before I suggested, 

“I should find Price, I need to tell him about this-“

 At my words Graves eyes went a little wide as he waved his hand at me,

 “-wait. Or... yeah.. you can tell him.”

 ‘Woah.. why did he seem hesitant about it?’

 Now that worry came back again, only because of his little shift and tone, but he brushed it away as he added,

 “My bad.. go on, I was thinking about something else. Tell him that they are in Mexico, though.”

 “I will, thanks again.”

 “Not a problem... anything to get two steps ahead you know.”

 “Oh yeah... I know.”

 Ghost’s POV

“What do you mean this is a babies blood? So it’s not-“

 “-Ghost.. I confirmed it twice. Not a woman’s, nor a mans blood. But a baby’s. A baby boy to be exact. Why it’s there? I wouldn’t know. Oh and these rings were very personalized when made, so I tried to dig in and look for the person that had them ordered. And nothing popped up, like if no one ever bought or made them.”

 I was left breathless and more worried curious about Melione. We couldn’t find shite on her, bloody nothing. And when we did, it was not in the book or beyond crazy and out of place. She was like a Ghost story, only told about from those who met her, or knew her.. but with everyone else... it was like if she never existed. Soap looked just as dazed while he began to walk away and huff to himself under his breath,

 “Who the hell is she?”

‘I say the same... who the hell is she? Who are we dealing with? Why is there no file on her.. no story?’

Sense there was nothing to get out of the necklace anymore, I took it into my palm, and walked out. Making my way to look for her, and return it. Through all of this in getting to know Melione, I had been a bit distant with her, careful to not scare her away, and last night’s incident ruined it all for me. One simple mistake and outburst got her and I on thin ice. But now I hope with this stupid plan of Soap’s, that I’d be able to get us back on good land. I searched every room and couldn’t seem to find her, but I knew she wouldn’t stick around in other rooms but the meeting room, for some reason she liked that place- I mean for fuck’s sake she slept on the hard chairs in there. And I was correct as I grew closer and heard her voice speak to Price, as I heard them communicating. I caught half of it as I stepped in.

 “General Shepherd did.”

Price nodded at her while he asked,

 “So in Mexico right?”

“Yes sir, most believably where we are going to. Las Almas right?”

 “Yes, Alejandro and Rudy are there already setting the place up for us. Tomorrow morning we fly out, I want to get there as soon as possible.”

Melione must of sent my presence behind her when she did a quick turn to see. She only sent me a short nod and went back to Price as she finished up the talk,

 “Great. Well at least that’s settled. Hopefully we can cross this bridge soon.”

 Price sent her his usual warm smile before she walked off,

 “We will lass.. take a shower, eat your meal, then get some sleep. We leave at 03:00.”

 “Yes sir.”

Swiftly she then spun around and started to walk out, letting out a quick, ‘Lieutenant Ghost’ with a brief nod at me before disappearing. Why my chest clenched at her addressing me as such, is beyond my arse, but anyways. I was going to just clear my way with Price then go after her but he stopped me with a simple,

 “You alright Simon?”

‘Fucking hell..’

“Yeah. I’m alright John. Just.. ughh.”

‘I can’t hide or lie at this man can I? Fuck it.’

 I checked my surroundings hurriedly as I ripped out Melione’s necklace from my hoddie’s pocket, and I let it dangle off my fingers while I went on to explain,

 “Later I’ll tell you how I got it. But just know. That we found blood on this.”

He made a move to stand closer to me as he eyeballed it questioning me with a crooked brow,

 “Whose’s blood? She‘a not supposed to shed blood. She hasn’t shed any yet right-“

 “-it was a child’s blood. Baby boy’s to be exact. And we don’t know why. We tried to see who personalized the rings too, but we got nothing back.”

 After I said ‘a child’s blood’ he grew instantly invested, like if I was telling a deep, dark secret. A heavy sigh escaped his lips,

 “Nothing’s adding up.. because I can’t find anything on her either. All I know about her is what’s on the file. But I wrote that file. I created her... I wrote her story Simon, Laswell told me to. So anything that we think we know about her, is a façade-“

 “-but why?-“

“-for her protection-“

 “Protection? From what? How do you trust someone you don’t know-“

 Price stopped me by holding onto my shoulders as he put forth.

 “Look Simon... I trust her. You can’t tell me that she’s some kind of cold person or killer.. she walks in fear. Though she’s hungry and starving for something, she’s afraid to consume it because it’s way bigger than her. And I intend to find what makes her smaller than the prize she’s after. You with me?”

 ‘I thought the exact same about her.. she’s not like us.’

 I looked down at Price and nodded,

 “Ok.. I’m in.”

 “Thank you.. now please, return it. Be Simon, but be Ghost, ok?”

 “Affirmative sir.”

And with that I walked off. Intending to chase the same answers for the same questions were all asking for different reasons...

 ‘Who are we up against?’

Melione’s POV

I had just gotten out of a good, warm shower, only because I asked Soap to stay in the showers room with me, to keep watch and not to leave me alone. Without Spence thought or questions as to why he agreed and decided to take one himself. So now he stood a couple stalls away from mine as we dried ourselves off, making light conversation.

  “So Bonnie... ye like my hot tea huh? Ya took my last couple of cups last time.”

 I let a giggle escape while I admitted,

 “It helps me sleep. But I won’t take them anymore-“

 “-no no lass.. don’t be sorry. Maybe if ya didn’t glue your arse to that chair to sleep ya wouldn’t need it, but sense you do.. the teas all yours.”

 I nodded to myself as I thought about what he said, like if he was trying to convince me to sleep on the cots with them .. to give it a shot. So I asked,

 “Are the cots comfy?”

I heard a light ‘hmm’ come from his side before a light chuckle followed behind,

 “Ahhh ‘bout that lass... not comfy like pillowy sweet.. but it’s way fuckin’ betta than the chairs.. that I know.”

 We were already in more comfortable clothing, now standing near each other examining our sweats and light hoodies as then I hesitantly asked, desperate for good sleep.

 “Umm... so you think there’s a spot for me?”

 Soap crossed his arms while he made a face of pensiveness,

 “Hmmm...”

“-it’s ok if there’s not-“

“AYYY I GOT YA!”

I couldn’t help but start laughing a bit at his crazy giggles, him making fun of me as he went on to say,

 “Ya should’ve seen yer face.. all worried.”

I shook my head at his childish teasing as he pressed on with high pitched mimics,

 “Ohhh no, is Soap gonna let me sleep with them? Boo-hoo-“

“-Shut the hell up, Soap.”

His giggles echoed off the bathroom walls as he began to make his way out, but he didn’t leave before saying,

 “Grab something to eat eh? I already did. Maybe I saved ya a piece.. that’s if Gaz hasn’t eaten it yet.”

 I waved him off while grabbing reaching out to grab my stuff. 

 “I will.. thanks.”

‘Wait.. where’s my necklace!?! SHIT- FUCK!? No no I can’t lose it!!!’

 “Wait! Soap!!! Did you see me with a necklace? Here or anywhere??!”

Panic washed over me when I didn’t see it.. then I realized,

 ‘Hey.. I didn’t even take it off.. shit it’s been missing for a while then!?! And I’ve been everywhere in this place!?? It could be anywhere!!-‘

Soap’s POV

‘Ohhhhh shite Ghost’s dead.’

“-No lass.. I di’nt see it anywhere. I’m sorry-“

Melione then sent me a calm smile while she grabbed the rest of her things,

 “-no don’t be.. I forgot I misplaced it. It’s ok. Goodnight”.

I stepped out after saying.

 “Oh.. okay.. goodnight lass.”

Then I darted for Ghost.

‘She’s pissed and were dead-‘

“OOF!!”

In my rush I turned back to see if she was following me, meaning I didn’t see the brick wall of a man ahead of me, hence I crashed right into it. Thankfully, I recognized his stupid scent of gun powder and thick British accent scolding me,

“Where have you fuckin’ been-“

“-I’ll tell you later! But she’s looking for her necklace!! Go to the kitchen and pretend you’re grabbing a snack or shite!! She’ll be there in a bit! Go!!”

 Through his mask I watch his brown eyes go wide and he pushed me aside before fast walking for the kitchen, letting out a few curses here and there, I did catch one of the most he gave,

 “Fuck- I’m going to beat your arse McTavish.”

‘Well I’m fucked.’

At least he’ll be able to return it.. that is if he knows how to be a regular human for once and not kill her again through the process.

Melione’s POV

Flashback...

I picked up Jacob’s hand from the blood-stained sand, that rested below Benjamin’s head, and took off his ring. It was all covered in blood, I didn’t know whose’s though. I carefully took of Benjamin’s bracelet off too.. and kissed his baby palm before resting it there too. When the police had arrived at the scene, I begged them for me to at least say goodbye, for I hadn’t.. and I wanted to see them one more time... because I knew.. I would never again. I wiped my tears away while letting out new ones, as I placed their special belongings on my necklace, keeping it safe there. Then that’s when I let them take me away. A part of me felt a little comforted that day, as I held Benjamin’s bracelet against my heart as well as Jacob’s ring, a piece of them I got to take home with me. I never washed them or anything as such, I kept it as raw as the day I retrieved them. I could only remember Jacob’s words as I recalled the day he first but the ring on my finger,

“Nothing in this world.. will ever get me to stop loving you and fighting for you. Even after death... I’ll be over you, watching you. This ring is a symbol of that, ok?”

“Ok...”

End of flashback..

Trying to bite back tears for losing my necklace I sat at the little table, attempting to swallow Soap’s ramen. I knew it was mine because it said ‘for Melione’ on it. It was halfway through, but it was enough cause I hadn’t been eating much lately anyways. I tried to think about every place I had seen and been in, and never do I recall dropping it or pulling it out to touch it or such.

 ‘Fuck... where could I have dropped it.. please please... where is it?? I can’t sleep without it.. not without them.’

Finally I felt the warm tears slip down my cold cheeks, loneliness hit me deep in the gut, as I began to feel the lack of them there.. the lack of my families presence there as I sat without the necklace. That small piece of jewelry represented them.. and kept me put together as I held our special pieces there. 

 ‘I’m so sorry guys.. I didn’t mean to lose you-‘

 Plunk!

A shiny object was thrown on the table and slid towards me as a deep voice sounded.

 “Didn’t know you collected rings.”

My eyes found his first at the beginning, but when he mentioned ‘rings’, I gasped out loud and looked down at the table.. where it laid.

‘MY NECKLACE!! GHOST FOUND IT!!’

I took it rapidly and began to check it out, taking the chance to wiping away my tears as Ghost faced away from me preparing a tea. My gratitude of having it there had me asking,

 “Gosh.. where did you find it?”

He shrugged lightly as he went on to explain,

 “Last night.. after we fought.”

He said it like like if we fought often and it was normal.. weirdo. He then added.

“It was stuck in the zipper of my vest. I tried to get it off for a while.. finally was able to. It’s not damaged right?”

 ‘No... it’s perfect.’

“No not at all.. it’s all good. Thanks for returning... I thought I had lost it.”

 He let out a small huff and picked up his tiny cup, making his way out, but I called out to him... because, well.. yeah.

 “I don’t mind company. Everyone else already crashed.”

His broad side faced me, but then I saw his front as he slowly turned towards me, and moved to take a seat in front of me.

“Alright...”

 For the rest of the time I ate in silence and he drank his tea in silence too. But it was comfortable, I didn’t feel out of place, I felt safe. I’m sure he did too.. he held calm eyes when glanced at me a couple of times, then locking eyes. After we finished up he led me to the rooms when I asked him to, and for me he reached for a blanket that rested on the very tall shelf. There were many empty ones, but he led me to the one that Soap laid next to, and told me that it was a good spot,

“Here’s good. The air conditioning hits this spot.. and Soap snores lullabies.”

I let a snort slip out while I took the blanket from Ghost, 

“Thank you Ghost.”

“Hmm hmm.. are you wearing your necklace-“

‘Shit I’m not but I should!’

“-no! I need to put it on-“

“-turn around.”

I stood still for a bit, watching his dark, tall form hover over me, like last night. A chill went up my spine at the memory. I could tell he probably saw this, for he then gently used his hand to spin me around, 

“Let me see it.”

I handed it to him, and seconds later it hung off my neck, resting next to my heart. He patted my back reassuringly before retreating for the night,

 “Night.”

“Goodnight.”

While getting on the cot, I watched him walk out, taking one last look at Soap and I before disappearing. I then fixed myself down, and got more comfortable when I held my necklace in hand and heard Soap’s soft snores. 

 ‘Maybe Ghost had a bad night last night... he seems alright. Well.. Hopefully things get better.. before they get worse and heavy... at least I have you guys with me now..’

[goldenlionprince]

Helloo! For the ask game, please: 19, 20 and 30 ❤️

Thank you for the questions, Scorpi! :)

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue & 20. Share your funniest line

I'm combining these two (I hope you don't mind) because the "munchy problem" line is in this dialogue (and by reactions to it it was my funniest line by far xD). I really like how this back and forth between freshly turned vampire Sirius and James in fangs and all turned out.

“Don't.”

James' frown deepens. “Don't be difficult. I need to get a closer look at that.”

“And I need not to bite a chunk out of your neck, James.”

James pauses, then lifts his eyes back to Sirius. “How bad is it? How hard is it for you to not jump me right now?”

“A little.”

Which, in Sirius' language, means bloody fucking hard. James curses under his breath and rakes a hand though his hair, pulling at the roots. “Okay. First things first.” Dropping his hand he pushes up the sleeve of his right arm, past the small tracking rune tattoo he used to track down Sirius' matching one. “You need a snack. Then we work on the chain. Then we get the fuck out of here. I have your wand. Hid it with mine in a tree outside of the wards. Didn't want to risk losing them so we have to make do without them until we can pick them back up.”

Sirius stares at him, trying very hard not to look at James' exposed skin. James pauses, his sleeve pushed up to his elbow. “What?”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like.” James grins. “Turning myself into a buffet.”

Sirius glares at him, which combined with the glowiness of his grey eyes does look a little spooky. “That's not funny, James.”

James sighs and lets go of his sleeve. “Come on, you know I'm right. If we want to get out of here I need you to be able to think clearly and not have a munchy problem.”

“Munchy problem,” Sirius repeats like he can't believe James just said that.

James shrugs. “Munchy problem. Furry little problem. I collect interesting friends. Now come on, eat up. Well, not up up. I need some blood still in me but.. you know.” James lifts his arm towards Sirius. “Cheers?”

30. What would you like to write next year?

To be boring, I really want to get to the second chapter of fangs and all. Maybe come up with some more vampire idead (never enough of those). Write some more Jilypad raising Harry fluff.

And maybe, if I dare and get the right idea, write something longer and multi chapter. One can dream.

2024 in review ask game

[thecactifindahome]

Oh, I didn't know about that, I've seen maybe two or three group interviews that had Rolin in it and it still was mostly the actors talking. And since they were talking about IWTV (the last on my reading list), I couldn't really think much. I did feel like all the characters were well-written so far, but the loumand romance was cute for 2 seconds and then it went South super quick. I assumed it was the case on IWTV, so I was a bit frustrated, but didn't complain. Now that I'm reading the books I might have different feelings about it... I'll keep that in mind and not trust so blindly then. But hopefully with all the collaboration with the writers and actors, it will fulfilling. Maybe Rolin is just weird at interviews. But it's good to low expectations a bit, I guess. And YUP about the dishonest comments... It's funny because it comes from the same people saying human morals don't apply to them and they're all monsters, readers should accept that, but then they draw the line of someone loving more than one person? And I'm not even necessarily talking about romantic love (but that too, the idea of vampires being limited by monogamy is ridiculous to me), but love as a whole. They feel love, affection and care for more than just one person. In fact, I believe a lot of their struggle on both show and books is having such a small circle and trying to make one or two people a lover, friend, mentor, therapist and parental figure. You need more people in your life, specially if you live forever, c'mon. 😅 And the love for multiple people and blurred lines are there since the beginning imo, even if they didn't try it. But on Merrick the polycule vibes were totally there for me. And Pandora was so charismatic! It was a great surprise because I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I loved Flavius too, even if he wasn't as big. In a way she kind of reminded me of Lestat because she was so vibrant. And I swear I'm not trying to label everyone as autistic, but her lack of filter felt like autism. Reminded me of Armand too in that sense, though Armand is type to tell hard truths with no easing into it or read people for filth while Pandora just hits on people. 😅 there's so much neurodivergent coding on these books, it's crazy. Anyway, I'm still pretty early into B&G, only on chapter 4, but I'm interested in finding more about them all. Also Maharet probably returns? I'm excited to see her again.

The idea that Louis kissing Armand in front of Lestat is the show's version of Armand pushing Lestat off a building is just insane to me 😭 Those are two WILDLY different actions that happen for WILDLY different reasons, and Louis didn't even know about it! If one is their version of the other, I'm bracing myself for Devil's Minion to be Daniel and Sam Barclay joining an ultimate Frisbee league, and also Louis is there for some reason.

And yeah, exactly, that's a great way of putting it - they keep trying to make others fulfill more emotional needs than one person can provide because they just don't have a deep social bench! And their relationships just can't endure that constant pressure forever, especially among such volatile personalities. Taking breaks is better than setting your husband on fire, why on earth is setting him on fire preferable to boning David or Merrick or Armand for a few years?

Pandora is such an icon in her own book. If I moved to a new town and on my first day out I did clown makeup and accidentally walked around in transparent clothes, I too would do whatever it took to become a loathsome creature of the night and never go out in daylight again. Problem causer, problem solver.

Maharet shows up at the end of B&G, but you don't really find out what's going on with her until PL.

[captaincravatthecapricious]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks @bluejayblueskies for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

58!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

463,287

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Malevolent! But I do have a tma long fic going on that I am still working on and updating regularly.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

After the Circus (tma)

Can't Get Up (tma)

Broken Ribs (tma)

Things You Said When You Were Scared (tma)

Cold as the Rain that Falls in December (Malevolent)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Comments mean a ton to me so I try to respond to them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Oh man either Things You Said Through Your Teeth (tma, a little study on Martin grieving everyone throughout the seasons, ending with him pushing Jon away) OR I Don't Want to be So Sober So (Malevolent, that ended up with Arthur possibly drinking himself to death. I mean you could chose to believe that John got him back home. I don't think I've actually decided, even when I wrote it).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

I mean... all the rest of them, probably. I write happy endings. Angst with happy endings. Maybe the Jumanji fic? The first one ends up pretty happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Not that I know of? Am I popular enough to get hate?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

GODS, okay so this isn't published. Hell it's in an old NOTEBOOK, but once I wrote a crossover between Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog and Bones.

Of the things published, I do have a tma Jumanji au, but I wouldn't call that a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

I was going to, once upon a time, but it fell through. That was a very long time ago.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

I'm not sure. I like queerplatonic ships over anything else. I really like playing around with the inbetween relationships of Jon and Tim (tma) and Arthur and Parker and John (Malevolent). But I'm not sure if I really write or ship any of them romantically. I like the messy inbetweens. And being aro ace, I kind of explore the plasticity of relationships through that lens.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I'm pretty methodical with things so I don't have a lot of projects left undone. I would like to write a third chapter for my oneshot fic called Coffee. And I would like to fix up the second chapter enough that I can actually post it.

In a wider sense. I have so much more I want to do in the Parker Lives AU, but I have no idea what I'll be able to do with time/work/mental health constraints. I'm certainly not done with the AU. But will it ever be truly finished?

16. What are your writing strengths? 

rambling. Endlessly. Which is also a weakness. But I sure can do whump and stream of consciousness.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

I haven't the foggiest idea how video games work and I am writing a video game au.

In a more serious sense. I have a lot of trouble with pacing. I fill everything up with my rambling and I have no idea if I am getting the original point across or if it's gotten lost along the way. It also tends to make it hard to stick in important details in a longer form work. I get too busy with tangents.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I don't think I know other languages well enough.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Ice Age 3, Dawn of the Dinosaurs. And it was written in marker in a plastic spiral bound notebook. And it will never see the light of day.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

For tma, probably If That's What it is

For Malevolent... I'm not sure. I love of Cold as the Rain (and that might be my top pick overall) but I am also really proud of myself for finishing Phosphenes and Pasts. I guess my readers will have to be the judge of that once I finish posting it!

Tagging @genderfluid-druid @thisstableground @cannibalthoughts @cappurrccino @sokkas-first-fangirl @breannasfluff @acewithapaintbrush @late-to-the-magnus-archives

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

“I Keep You Safe From Me”

Chapter three: Push and Pull

Ship: slow burn romantic analogical

POV: Logan

CW/TW: this chapter lightly focuses on not being able to accept one’s sexuality, therefore causing minor mental health issues (in this fictional instance; In real life situations internalized homophobia can cause greater issues than the ones touched on in this part of the story.), If that in any way makes you uncomfortable or triggers you, please do not read; take care of yourself 💜 (also, let it be known that this is also a way of coping through my own issues, so I am not speaking on a topic that I am uneducated about.)

Also there is swearing in this fic as well

(No summary because I don’t want to give anything away.)

———————————————————————

3:24 PM

Logan closed the door and stood in the bare hallway aimlessly, mind running wild. He was dizzy from all the contradicting emotions. To anyone that passed by he probably looked like he was about to be sick. His face was pale and nausea rose up from his stomach to his throat.

Virgil was so beautiful, and sweet, and his music taste was immaculate from what he could tell by the band tees and posters and the little lyrics he heard over his pounding heart.

‘No.’ He told himself.

‘No. He’s only a friend. Barely that, even. An acquaintance. A stranger.’

He opened the door to his dorm and shut it with full force, not caring about the echoing sound that was bound to be heard from across the hall.

His room was a boring comparison to Virgil’s. NASA posters, paper mâché planets and stars hanging from the ceiling, messy bed, messy room, messy life.

He flopped onto his bed, face first into one of his many pillows, ignoring his previously abandoned desk which held a semi-realistic replica of the main planets; hand crafted from different things ranging from clay to styrofoam. The scent of paint filled the room and pale blue flakes buried themselves deep under his nails.

It was as if his brain was a broken record player, constantly taking his mind back to Virgil no matter how hard he tried to force the thought away.

‘His eyes, his voice— NO. Shut up!!’

He groaned into the pillow before turning over and pulling his hands up to his hair, gripping on to it harshly.

He’d fought these thoughts for so long, telling himself that liking guys was against everything he’d been brought up to stand for, to believe in. He’d never be accepted if he told his parents, or anyone for that matter.

…but Virgil seemed kind, and caring, what would be the harm in telling at least one person?

‘You’d get close and tell him, and then he would betray you and tell everyone.’ his thoughts responded.

He had only told one person before his first year at Georgia State, about his thoughts.

He removed his hands from his hair and dug around in the mess of blankets and sheets to find his phone.

He opened it and went to messages.

Logan: “I think I’m going insane”

Patton: “???”

Logan: “do you remember what I told you last year? about…you know.”

Patton: “I do. do you remember what I told you? It’s okay to say that you’re gay, Logan.”

Logan: “I like a guy. I think…maybe? Fuck, I don’t know. He’s a freshman here. No matter how hard I try to force him out of my head he keeps coming back.”

A chat bubble popped up before disappearing and then reappearing again.

Patton: “it’s okay to like him. It’s okay that you feel that way, but…are you trying to force him out because of him or because of you?”

Logan froze for a second, not wanting to answer.

Logan: “me”

Patton: “Right, okay. Thats alright. Listen, what about you try talking to him about it..? You might be pleasantly surprised.”

Logan: “No. Absolutely not. I’d rather throw myself down a flight of stairs.”

A ‘read’ message popped up under his text. Patton didn’t respond.

Logan rolled over onto his side, dropping his phone on the bed and staring at nothing in particular, letting his vision blur and unblur with every blink.

The silence was deafening but he tolerated it, forcing himself to deal with his thoughts due to having no energy to play music or rain sounds on his TV like he usually did.

He stayed like that for a while, staring into the void of nothing, letting his thoughts surround him, occasionally checking his phone for any messages from Patton, nothing came.

The time passing with nothing to distract him felt like torture. He hadn’t made any friends in the past two semesters and no one seemed like they really wanted to get to know him, and now…Virgil.

Virgil was here, and he was being nice to him, and he was probably fucking it all up.

The clock next to him reached 3:43 when he couldn’t take it anymore. He sat upright in bed and grabbed his phone with shaking hands, slowly getting out of the bed and walking into the hallway.

He stood outside of Virgil’s dorm for what felt like hours, but in reality was only a few seconds. He slowly raised his fist and knocked, holding his breath, quietly panicking.

What was he doing here, again? god, this was pathetic. Virgil probably hated him, he probably thought he was so—

“Oh, hey?” Virgil said a little confused, opening the door to see a fidgeting Logan.

“Hey. Um..” Logan raised his phone a little and tapped it lightly on the palm of his other hand a few times before looking Virgil straight in the eyes.

“I was wondering if I could get your number? Like, in case we have the same class and I need to get the notes if I miss a day…or something.” It was a blatant lie, he never missed a day, even when he was sick he showed up to classes; even if he was terrified that everyone in the lecture hall hated him over a few coughs and the occasional sniffle.

Virgil didn’t need to know that, though.

“Oh yeah, sure.” Virgil responded, afterwards reciting off ten digits to which Logan rushed to type into his phone.

“Is that it?” He asked after he was done. Logan stood there a second before breathing out, “yeah, yeah. Sorry, I hope I wasn’t bothering you.”

“I don’t think you ever could bother me. At least not now, anyway. You seem to like being around here though..do you wanna come inside? You can stay the night if you want.”

Logan’s eyes widened a bit at the observation and a pink flush melted into his cheeks. “You want me to— uh, yeah, I’d love that..I mean!— like, I’d like that.”

Virgil grinned, “cool” he moved away from the door and opened it wider, allowing Logan to come in so he could shut it.

He obliged, tentatively walking in, watching his step as to not make a fool of himself by tripping over the things all over the room.

“Sorry that it’s a mess, I forgot to say that earlier, but then again I wasn’t really expecting you.” Virgil said, kicking a trash bag away from him, making it land next to a pile of unfolded blankets.

“It’s alright, sorry for just..showing up.” He responded, folding his arms. A slight defense.

Virgil noticed this and tried to make himself seem gentler; shoulders relaxed, unclenched jaw, quieter voice. He didn’t know that realistically, the cause for Logan’s discomfort was no one’s fault but his own.

“I wish I could offer you something but there’s nothing in the fridge, and you’ll probably have to sleep in my bed…” Virgil said, “are you okay with that? I can sleep on the floor if you don’t want me to be—“

“It’s okay, really. I’ll sleep on the floor, it’s fine.” He said as calmly as possible, although the thought of being that close to Virgil made him feel like he was going to explode.

Virgil gave him a funny look, eyebrows raised slightly. “I’m not letting you sleep on the floor, man. That’d be pretty rude of me considering you’re the guest and all” he responded, almost laughing at the suggestion.

“Come on, you wanna watch Friends or something? I don’t know what time my roommate plans on coming back so..” he added, quickly changing the topic of discussion.

“Uh, yeah, that’s fine.” Logan said, trying to focus on anything else other than the rapid pacing of his heart. The clock on the wall. Focus on the ticking of the clock.

Everything faded away as his attention shifted and he could barely hear Virgil’s voice or notice how he was slowly walking in the direction of his room.

“—gan? Logan!”

He tore away from his staring contest with the clock and turned back to Virgil, who was standing in the doorway of his room.

“Are you coming?” He asked, hand on the doorframe, leaning against it.

“Yeah, sorry.” his body filled with tension as he answered, following Virgil into his room.

The first thing he noticed upon walking into the new friends strangers, room was the solid black pillows and comforter that took the place of the bare mattress. The blanket was wrinkled a bit, indicating Virgil had probably been sitting there before his unexpected visit…once again.

A Roku remote sat on the blanket next to Virgil’s computer. He grabbed it swiftly and unpaused the episode that was lighting up the tv. He recognized it as one of his favorites from the series: “The One After Ross Says Rachel”

Virgil sat on the bed where it was wrinkled, patting the spot next to him, beckoning.

He sat next to him, almost hanging off of the side of the bed with how far he kept the space between them.

Virgil didn’t notice, he was too busy laughing along with the laugh track.

* * *

5:20 PM

Five episodes later, Virgil had fallen asleep on Logan by accident, slowly leaning his head on his shoulder to being fully slumped against the taller man next to him. If he were awake, he would’ve never stopped apologizing and agonizing over the thought of making him uncomfortable because he was so close, but he wasn’t. He was snoring quietly, his chest rising up and down.

Logan didn’t move, tried his hardest not to breathe too deeply. He didn’t want to wake him up, he seemed so at peace, like he felt safe.

He moved his hand in slow motion and took the remote from Virgil’s hand, pausing the most recent episode they were on, stopping at the 10 minute and 45 seconds mark.

Quiet filled the room before Logan heard a door open and close, footsteps following closely behind.

Fuck, it was Virgil’s roommate.

[paralyze-fic]

Paralyze.

Chapter 62

When I arrived home, I could see through the kitchen window that my parents were already up, and I internally cursed.

Good thing I know where the spare key is kept.

After debating what to do, I opened the front door and walked in. Right as they turned to look at me I was glad that I had my hood on because it casted a shadow over the marks on my lower neck and shoulders.

As I made eye contact with them, I acted surprised, "Oh, I didn't think you'd be already awake," I smiled and took off my shoes after I closed the door behind me.

My mother smiled at me, "Where were you, (M/n)?"

Quick, think of a believable excuse.

"Eh... I went out to run for a while, it was hard to sleep here after being in the dorms so long, and I just went to take some air." I smiled, trying to hide my nervousness.

They seemed to believe me though. So, excusing myself, I went upstairs to take a shower and change into clothes that would hide my marks.

//////

The second I came downstairs, my father told me to go get the mail.

Opportunity to set the spare key where it belongs.

And I did just that. Walking back in and closing the door once again, dad told me to start with the pancakes while the twins were still asleep. I felt a bit uncomfortable, it was as if even though they believed my poor excuse, they were just acting like they did. I felt like they knew what I did last night and why I wasn't here this morning.

But before I got too nervous, I took out the batter mix from the fridge and began baking the pancakes.

//////

It was a while after lunch, at three-forty, when my mother touched a conversation theme that made me choke on my spit. "When can we meet your friend, (M/n)? Bakugou-kun, right?"

I looked up at her and chuckled nervously. Think of another excuse, (M/n).

"I'm not su-"

A familiar ringtone echoed in the living room. Saved by the fucking bell- well, ringtone! It was Katsuki.

"It's him," I said after I grabbed my phone from the coffee table. It would been a bit suspicious if I told them who it was before looking at the contact, "I'll be back in a few." I walked up the stairs two steps at the time and locked myself in my room. After breathing in a few times, I picked up. "Hi, Katsuki, how-?"

"My parents know."

...Eh?

"Eh?! What do you mean they know?" My voice had a panic tone in it, but I tried to keep quiet.

"The old hag walked into my bathroom to take out the trash and found the condom there, I had to explain it to her," Katsuki sounded angry but also slightly embarrassed.

Well, I would be the same if that had happened to me.

"And now I'm going to your house to avoid the embarrassment."

What?

"W-wait, Katsuki-!"

Ding ding dong!

Shit, why Katsuki? Me, why?! When I gave him my house address I wasn't thinking clearly!

"I'll get it!" I yelled bursting out of my room and almost tripping down the stairs. The twins stared at me when I dashed past them while they were sitting on the couch, my parents walked out of the kitchen, staring at me too.

I opened the front door, and instantly stepped out, closing the door behind me. Katsuki's eyes were wide in surprise when he saw me gasping slightly, and then he smiled at me.

"I didn't think you'd be this eager to see me, (M/n)~," he wrapped my neck with his arms, pulling me down and kissing me. For a fraction of a second, I forgot what just happened when Katsuki's lips were on mine, but as soon as I came back to my senses, I reluctantly pushed him away softly. He observed me for a minute, "What?" I swallowed and avoided eye contact with him.

"My family wants to meet you." I waited for his answer, expecting a 'Maybe some other day,' or something like that, but instead-

"Then, good thing I showed up," -he said that.

He had pushed me aside and was about to grab the knob to open the door, but I reacted and held his wrist.

"Wait, are you sure you want to?" Katsuki smiled at me and held my face, cupping my cheeks.

"Of course, I want to meet my partner's family." He kissed my cheek and backed away from me, but instead of him opening the door, Katsuki made me grab the knob, "Now, show me off to your parents."

My heart began beating with excitement and nervousness as I opened the door, I allowed Katsuki to enter and closed it behind him. When I looked up, the four of them were standing in the living room, observing us both.

I cleared my throat to avoid my voice cracking and moved a bit so they could see Katsuki behind me.

"He is Bakugou Katsuki," was all I said, Katsuki took a step forward and bowed.

"Nice to meet you."

The awkward silence that followed made me want to bang my head against the wall until death. Why? Why did he have to come now? Couldn't he have told me beforehand? It would've-

"I finally get to meet the great Bakugou-kun!" My mom exclaimed and I saw her run towards Katsuki with open arms, hugging him tightly against her. Katsuki blushed and had his eyes wide, but he hesitantly hugged my mother back. "Takeru, come on. Akira, Ryo, come say hello to Bakugou-kun."

After that, the rest of my family surrounded Katsuki and shot questions at him, he seemed really uncomfortable at first, but when they got a chuckle out of him, he relaxed and blended in with them.

I felt happy and calm, while also proud of Katsuki for being able to handle them easily.

My father took Katsuki to the couch and we all sat down. I could only stare at the spiky-haired blond in front of me with a loving smile. My whole body had goosebumps as I saw him so friendly with the most important people in my life.

"(M/n)," my mom called me, and when I turned to look at her, she was standing beside me, "Can I ask you something?" I nodded and stood up, following her to the kitchen.

"What's wrong, mom?" I asked as soon as we entered the kitchen.

She chuckled and shook her head, "Oh, nothing is wrong, honey, but..." She hesitated for a moment, seemingly looking for the correct words, "Do you... like Bakugou?"

Without doubting it for a second, I nodded.

And I thought, what better opportunity to tell her?

"And we're also dating," her expression had the word 'shock' written on it, but she laughed it off.

"So, you don't mind if he stays for dinner?" I shrugged with a smile.

"That's up to him," she nodded and walked out, I followed her and stood beside her as she stopped in front of the kitchen door.

"Katsuki-kun," Katsuki flinched when my mother called him by his first name, he said a little 'Yes?' in response as he turned to look at her, "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

[asheurbanipal]

The Only Option Left: Chapter 1

The Devil's Concubine

On A03

Summary:

How is it possible to make every wrong decision and still save the world? For everything to fail so spectacularly at your own hands, just for everything to work out for the Sword Coast as a whole? It must be a curse. A trick of the gods or the hells or yet some unnamed unknown manifestation of fate. But what is it that Raphael said? "Unconditional freedom to choose the only option she has left." Now that Tav has traded the Crown of Karsus to Raphael for his help in saving the world, she's starting to understand the feeling. Yet what is this other offer he has on the table? What final decision will it force on her?

Baldur's Gate 3

Tav/Haarlep/Raphael

Explicit

Full Word Count: 14, 245

Content: PTSD, Depression, Trauma Bonding, mildly dubious consent, mid-sex shapeshifting, tail play, PIV and PIA, oral, hand stuff, genderfluid Haarlep

Chapter 2-incoming

Chapter 3-incoming

I sat on the dock as the orange of the sun began to drip farther down the sky toward the horizon. The water of the Chionthar soaked through my clothes, piercing me down to the bone. I had done it, though. The netherbrain was dead. The Sword Coast was safe. The cold, clammy metal of the Crown of Karsus was folded in a scarf in my lap. 

But everyone that mattered was dead or as good as. 

I glanced to the space next to me on the pier. It was still singed and burned where Karlach had literally burst into flames. I should have convinced her to go back to Avernus. Maybe if I hadn't pressed the wrong fucking button on a fucking mindflayer pod, Wyll wouldn't be a lemure. He could have gone with her. They could have fought their way out. But I made too many mistakes. Too many missteps trying to do the right thing. 

In between my dips in the river, I found the courage to go to my childhood home. In the rubble was the body of a mindflayer in the clothing of my mother, and the dead body of my father, knife clutched in hand, both their throats slit. 

I set my head on the nearby post. I wanted to sleep. Really sleep like humans did instead of reliving all these moments over and over in reverie. It was too hard to find that state; I had to concentrate on it. What I really needed was a potion. I didn't have money for a potion. I only had one thing of any value left. 

"Well, my little mouse. Did you find the hole in the cupboard?" I didn't need to look to know it was Raphael. I could smell him. Sulphur and the sweet scent of dead flowers. His body moved slowly and elegantly until he was sitting next to me on the pier. He wouldn't deign to do something so casual as dangle his legs, and I watched him cross them at the knee out of the corner of my eyes. I didn't hate him. I probably should have. It seemed a right and good thing to hate a devil.

But there was something about the physicalities of Raphael's body that made it difficult to not watch him, to not be pulled along by the dulcet chords of his voice. He had the kind of form you couldn't help but follow with every one of your senses. It was something to focus on, at least, and I found myself turning to him with heaving joints and muscles. 

"Take it, and let me out of my contract." I dropped the wrapped bundle into his lap, slightly enjoying the half a second he had to scramble to keep the whole thing from falling into the water again. All while maintaining his usual posture. 

"You managed to keep it from the wizard and his goddess." He seemed genuinely impressed, his voice lilting upward, eyebrows tracing the same pattern. 

"Gale blew himself up. It was how we took down the brain." My hands curled into fists on the tops of my knees. I never knew what to say to him. How do you tell a man to disobey his goddess? To turn against what he believes to be right? Maybe if I had pushed the Crown option…

"What a shame." The softness of Raphael's voice surprised me. Like he actually cared about the death of one mortal man. I flattened my palms to release the tension in my body.

"You have the crown. My contract. Leave me with my soul at least." I turned what was left of my body toward him sharply, willing him to actually look at me. 

He gave the smallest of nods and flicked his fingers. A paper appeared. Another flick, and it went up in flames. 

"It's done. I'm nothing if not a man of my word." He didn't move, though, turning his gaze briefly along the line of the horizon where the water met the sky. 

"Do we still have business, devil?" I tried to bark, but it came out weak, half-formed. 

"We might," he said.

"No more games, Raphael," I sighed. "I don't have the energy." 

"Oh pet," he cooed. "That's why you need me." 

I suddenly became aware of my hands again. I wanted to press my nails into my palm, but I kept them still. I couldn't show weakness in front of him. Not right now.

"When I ascend to Prince of the Nine Hells, I will need generals in my ranks. Followers at my right hand. You could be among them." 

"Soldier in a devil's army," I scoffed. "No thank you." But I knew my heart wasn't in it. 

"You say that, now." He folded the crown tighter in the cloth and gripped it in his hands, entranced by the feel of it. "Take my room at Sharess's Caress for the night. It's still standing. Consider it a gift for a job well done."

"And what's the catch?" I asked, turning back. But he had already disappeared. 

My feet felt heavy moving up the catwalks of Sharess's Caress. Being just outside the city proper, it had been among the neighborhoods that survived with minimal damage. The Elfsong had managed to make it through unscathed, but staying there, in the room I shared with my dwindling party, pretending to be a hero, felt rancid and wrong. So I'd been sleeping in the old barn we'd found when we first entered Rivington. I wasn't the only one, though, the area now filled with more refugees who had lost their homes to the brain's attack. Some of them recognized me, though, and their thanks made everything worse. A single night in a real bed away from everything was worth whatever Raphael had planned for me.

The door was unlocked as I tapped the handle, and it swung inward smoothly. I stopped in the doorway when I realized I wasn't alone. There was someone lounging in one of the velvet chairs.

Deep red skin, dark horns curing from his forehead, broad black wings that overflowed awkwardly between his body and the high back of the chair. He wore Raphael's face, and that was about it. The only thing that separated me from his intimate parts was leather strapping. He titled his head and waved with thin, clawed hands. 

"I take it you're Raphael's little guest?" he asked. 

I should have left. Should have realized faster that an incubus was a sign of something more dangerous on the horizon.

Instead I closed the door behind me and let it lock on itself without attempting to stop it. 

I moved across the room, trying to keep a distance. There was an inset bath under a wide window draped in silk curtains. It was already filled, flower petals and orange rinds floating on the surface. Beyond, the back of the room was dominated by a huge bed. There wasn't really anywhere for me to go. The slightly raised edge of the bath was as far as I could get. 

"I'm Haarlep," the incubus offered without moving. "You're…oh what was it…Tavitha? He typically calls you 'that enticing little nuisance' when he speaks about you at home." 

"Home." The word formed as I remembered a feast upon a table. Of a house in the hells where the walls closed in like the throat of a great beast. "And why are you here?" 

"I serve Raphael. He sent me to keep you company and serve you in kind." Now he stood, his large form bearing down on me as he walked across the room. But he stopped short, far enough away there was plenty of room to maneuver away if I wanted to. "If this form doesn't please you, I can give you another."

I looked up to Raphael's face staring back at me with hooded eyes, and I turned away.

"No--" I gestured at his form "-- no need to change on my account. Except…do you have more clothes…somewhere?" 

Haarlep's chin dropped dramatically aghast for an instant then formed up into a sideways grin.

"No one's ever made that request before. But of course." With a flicking gesture just like Raphael's, a satin robe dropped with a flutter on his shoulders. He tied it enough to cover his lower body down to his knees but left it loose enough for his chest to remain partially exposed. That was fine. He opened his arms. "Better?"

 I nodded, stiff in the neck and shoulders. Everything hurt. The bath was warm and damp against my back. My hands sort of half-reached toward Haarlep, unsure what I was intending to do with them before I dropped them again. 

"I need to bathe. Then I need to rest. That's all I want. So, I command you to…uh…do whatever. Fuck off, I guess." I felt my jaw click. Haarlep didn't move immediately. Then he laughed, pulling his body away to drop on the arm of a settee across from the chair.

"I see why Raphael finds you so fascinating. You're an odd little thing."

"I'm a tired little thing that could kick your ass all the way back to the hells. So…" 

Haarlep raised his hands in placation.

"Oh, I have no intention of causing myself more trouble than I'm worth. But I can't leave." There was a drift of sadness in the tail end of his words. I could leave whenever I wanted. Free myself from the game Raphael was playing when I struck up the will. Haarlep couldn't, it seemed. It was sad in its own way. 

"Fine then. I'd prefer privacy while I undress and bathe." I stared at him until he moved. He did, but only enough to avert his eyes. It was good enough. 

The water was perfect. Suspiciously so. There was time to be anxious about it later. For now I needed a decent clean down to my marrow. Haarlep behaved, finding a book to flip through and being kind enough not to bother me with random chatter. It was nice, actually, just to be in the room with a person without being forced to talk. Or make decisions. Or solve some new world-ending problem. If anything happened, if anyone came knocking, Haarlep could handle it. I could just be. Could just…rest. All I had to do was shut my eyes…

There was water in my nose and throat. It was creeping down into my lungs. There were hands under my armpits lifting me out of the water and repositioning me on the bench along the edge of the bath beforeI realized what had happened. 

"If you drown," Haarlep huffed, "that's a problem for me." He dropped next to me on the edge of the tub. "So I'd prefer you not do that." 

I wiped the water from my eyes, coughing it up just to choke on it again as it came up the second time. 

"Can you imagine? Surviving the end of the world just to die by falling asleep in the bathtub." 

"It would be a little bit funny, you have to admit," Haarlep said. His hand drifted over the back of my neck. "Let me wash your hair." I managed a sound of acquiescence and tilted forward so his body could rest behind mine. 

His bare legs dangled freely next to my shoulders, knees near my ears. The heat of his body pressed against me, and I tried not to think about how close his leather covered crotch was to the back of my head. 

Within a few moments of Haarlep's ministrations, I started to understand why incubi were so appealing. The way his fingers ran through my hair, I could only imagine what other things they were capable of when put to other tasks. 

"What does it feel like to be a world-saving hero? To be beloved by everyone along the Sword Coast?" Haarlep had been mostly just humming between his bouts of silence, so the question cut sharp through a sleepy haze that had settled in. 

"Awful. Terrible. Sick to my stomach every waking moment." 

"If you want to talk about it, sounding board is another service I'm forced to offer," Haarlep chuckled. 

"Raphael have a lot to bitch about?"

"Gods, all the time. Terrible pillow talk. He gets a little post-orgasmic clarity, and feels the need to unwind all his plans on me. Doesn't want someone to respond. Just to talk to himself."

"He strikes me as the sort." And for the first time in what felt like weeks, a breath of a smile broke over my face. Something tight and cracked but at least a little bit earnest. "If I ask you what he talks to you about in specifics, would you be able to tell me?"

"No," Harleep sighed. "Which is a real shame because he does say some interesting things about you. I assume that's why you're asking." He pressed his palm to my forehead. "Lean your head back." He dragged a nozzle across my hair and was already done rinsing before the water had time to turn from ice cold to warm. It was a shock to the system, but something I needed at the moment. Haarlep moved from the edge of the tub and vaguely toward the back of the room. 

"Tell me if you want me to brush your hair," he rejoined as he disappeared beyond the dividing wall. 

With him gone, the bath started losing its appeal. I found a handful of towels on a bench nearby and wrapped my hair and body in them before venturing into the rest of the room. Haarlep was rummaging through a stack of clothing. He pulled a white sleeveless chemise from the stack and held it out delicately.

"I think this is for you." He practically shoved it up against my body before dropping on the bed and laying back against the headboard. 

I was less concerned about Haarlep seeing my body now, and I exchanged the towel for the shift dress quickly. I stood before the mirror, examining the way the dress hugged and pulled at my form and split around the top of my thighs. The color of my skin showed through the thin fabric, the dark dusking of my nipples, the shadow of  my pubic hair. I might as well have not been wearing anything, and I had a feeling that was the whole point.

I looked about as ridiculous as I usually did in anything that wasn't breeches or armor. My shoulders and chest and arms were made for wielding swords and shields, not whatever this was.

"Not his usual choice," was all Haarlep offered as commentary. 

"He said he wanted me as a general," I replied. "This feels more like a concubine." 

"Looks like a wife to me." 

I turned on him sharply, scowling. The energy wasn't behind it, though. I was surprised at how much my body didn't recoil at even the abstract thought of being bonded to Raphael in such a way. Not that I had considered doing it the normal way in normal times. Perhaps I was now in the phase of my life where the thought of letting a devil trick me into marriage seemed almost palatable.

"I need to sleep. Where's my bed?" I cut through my own rambling thoughts by forcing another conversation through my throat. Haarlep responded by patting the bed next to him. "Of course." I stomped around to the other side, threw back the blankets, and climbed inside, pulling the plush duvet around me as tight as I could. Once I settled in, I couldn't even really be mad. The bed was that nice. Damnable gods. Raphael was making an excellent case for whatever it was he was going to attempt to propose at the end of this. 

"Would you like a sleeping potion?" Haarlep's body moved down next to mine, but the blankets were thick enough to create an adequate barrier. 

"No. I'm fine. Just get the lights." As much as I desperately wanted to have a proper, dreamless sleep, I didn't trust anything Raphael offered to enter my body. Haarlep didn't protest or insist, but he was still there as the lights dimmed down to nothing. 

My reverie was kind to me. It decided that tonight, I was allowed to relive one of the better moments in recent weeks, right before everything started going to shit. It was a party. We had found Halsin. We were about to track down that asshole Ketheric Thorm. Whether due to inebriation or some other high, Shadowheart and Lae'zel and Astarion all propositioned me for sex in their own way. I turned them down, knowing, in my two hundred years, that sex only complicated things if we were going to be traveling together. Might have briefly reconsidered if it was Halsin asking, but I would never have initiated. It was probably the last properly good decision I made. 

Instead I spent the evening with Zevlor. Poor Zevlor who I would later find in a mindflayer pod and decide it was a mercy to kill. That night I sat with him. Drank with him. Talked with him about old battles and armor maintenance. Zevlor, who I teased out into the forest and stripped down and rode hard and fast until we were panting and gasping in the moonlight, sweating out our anxiety into the sweltering heat of the night.

In my reverie, I could still feel him inside me, ridges pressing against all the important bits, delightful pressure pushing us to a shared ecstasy, the last one he would ever have. It spread and grew, fire and ice climbing up my spine and through my belly until…until…until…

I woke up, hot and clammy in the satin sheets. The room was ice cold in contrast. A heavy arm rested across my chest, and the pillow had been replaced with the leathery stretch of incubus wing. It didn't seem like he had groped me in my sleep, his body more a relaxed flow around me, but at some point his lips had been near my throat, nose nuzzled into the curve of my neck. I could feel the lingering touch of them.

Then sensations from the reverie didn't fade like they normally would have. Instead they lingered sticky between my legs, and I pressed my thighs together to push them off. It wasn't enough. My skin was tingling with arousal, every nerve begging to be touched. I had never felt anything like this before, this overwhelming desire. Except…wait…

"Oh fuck just like the spider." It was loud enough to wake Haarlep with a start, and he blinked at me slowly. In his half-awake state, he crushed me closer, forcing a desperate gasp from chest. 

"What could you possibly be talking about, Miss Hero?" 

"Yurgir had infused spider-meat with incubus spit so he could violate his displacer beast easier. It's an aphrodisiac."

Haarlep lifted onto his elbow to look down at me.

"Now I'm curious how you know this information? Did you… consume a dead spider? Give it a little lick out of curiostiy?"

"How I know isn't of any importance," I stuttered. "Just tell me how long it takes to wear off. It must have transferred through your sweat, too."

"At the dose I accidentally gave you-"

"'Accidentally…'"

"Excuse me," he snapped. "If I were going to do it on purpose, I'd want you awake to watch. That's the fun part." One of his thin, clawed fingers swept a strand of hair away, still wet from either the bath or my own sweat or both. "But you're not the only one under a bit of stress, and things happen." He tapped that finger sharply on my forehead. "As I was saying, at the dose you must have gotten it's not going away any time soon." The hand that had been across my chest dropped to the outside of my hip, fingers sliding under the slit of the dress until they pressed into the flesh of my ass. "You're much better off working it out of your system another way."  

I tried to chuff in disgust but it turned into a moan against my will as he nudged his knee into the space between my legs. 

"Just let go, Miss Hero. You know you want to." His hand slipped upward over my hip and into the very slight dip of my waist. "Let me make you feel good. You deserve it." His lips pressed to the side of my neck then worked up to my jaw. His teeth nipped at my skin. Sharp, but not enough to break the skin. 

Gods what an idea. That I deserved anything other than retribution for the pain and suffering I had caused. Maybe that's what this was. Maybe this was meant to be my punishment. 

"Do what you want to me," I sighed, arching my back against his weight. 

"Oh that is not something I get to hear very often." 

His body rolled on top of me, robe disappearing to the floor on the side of the bed. Stradling my hips, all his leather strappings magicked away to reveal what was left of his naked glory. His cock was half-hard, and he pumped it in a few, long draws, bringing it meticulously to full attention. It was lined with ridges along the top like a tiefling, evidence of that devilish inheritance. He fucked his hand a few more times with intent then dropped his hands down to the thin straps holding my gown to my shoulders. His hands were gentle with the clothing but rough with my arms, favoring the structure of the gown over the structure of my body. He stopped the straps at my elbows, pinning them against my side lightly, forcing my now exposed breasts up toward my chin. 

"That's a lovely sight," he cooed. His hands were first, brushing the outside edge of my breasts, thumbs brushing over my nipples until they peaked hard and swollen. His face dropped next, tongue flicking out to graze one taught bud. His mouth opened and he took me in, sucking on one nipple and teasing the other with a light pinch. He was so…gentle…I wouldn't have expected that from an incubus bound to Raphael. But then maybe that's what made him this way. Maybe it was part of the act. 

"I can hear you thinking." His mouth moved from my breast to my ear and breathed into it as his body moved off me a little. "You're supposed to be relaxing." He punctuated his point by dropping his hand and sliding into my folds. His finger found my entrance and slid into the first knuckle. Instead of going deeper, he massaged inside me, rubbing that oh so perfect spot with the pad of his finger. He paired the motion with a soft graze against my swollen clit. My hips bucked with the pressure, reaching up on instinct for more and more. 

"There you go, Miss Hero. Beg for it. Beg for what you want from me." 

I gasped under him as his knee tucked beneath mine and spread my legs farther apart. 

"I…I don't know. I don't know what I want." I tried to push one of my arms toward him but was stopped by the strap of the gown. Haarlep released his hand from my insides to pull the dress down to my waist, freeing my arms. I reached toward him, my fingers resting as they hit the planes of his chest. I spread my palms over them, testing their shape against my hands. He was hard as rock under my touch, skin hot and rough. He pried my hands from his chest and pressed my wrists above my head, body falling down on top of me in the process. 

"You're tired aren't you? Tired of having to decide everything for everyone?" For the first time he properly kissed me, lips capturing mine. His tongue slid into my mouth, coaxing mine into his. He pulled away. "Let me do it." 

His hands moved off my wrists, and his body moved down mine. Lips touched my clavicle, between my breasts, then licking the skin over my belly button with his long tongue. He hiked up the skirt of the gown, pulled my thighs apart with his hands, then burrowed himself into my slick folds. His tongue flicked over my clit, forming shapes and writing in infernal across the fiery bundle of nerves. He dipped back into my entrance in turn, tongue reaching up to send a wave of ecstasy through me. Back and forth he went, sucking and tonguing me until the tension built into a hard knot in the hollow of my pelvis. His claws dug into the inside and tops of my thighs and he pulled my body even closer to his face. He kissed the top of my mound and peered up at me over the line of my stomach. 

"Exquisite," he muttered, then dragged his tongue along the inside of my thigh.

The next part was fast, one smooth movement to lift to his knees and bring my hips against his. He paused for half a moment at my entrance then plunged inside, sheathing himself to the base. My hips bucked up to meet him, trying to, impossibly, pull him deeper. 

"Fuck," I hissed. He leaned forward over me but didn't move in or out, just continuing to fill me up as his position changed. 

"There are scrolls and potions under the bed. I could always make myself bigger."

"No," I laughed. "You don't need to do that at all."

He found something particularly delightful in that and flicked over my breasts again in reward. 

"Mage hand? I've done some fun things with mage hand."

"No," I snapped sharper than I meant to. Haarlep hovered above me still for a moment then a wry smile cracked his face. 

"Now where does that reaction come from?"

"Let it go and start moving," I said. 

"Oh, I'll move when you explain." He drew out slowly, languidly, dragging the sensation out with him, sending it shuddering up through me. Then he slammed into me again, choking me with pleasure. Then stopped cold.

"I don't understand how magic works," I admitted quickly, too eager now for this to continue to hold back anything any more. "So I prefer not to use it. For healing, I'd rather a potion than a spell or scroll."

Haarlep snorted lightly, nose crinkling and eyes casting to my ears. 

"You can fireball, if I'm not mistaken," he said.

"I don't know how I do it, I just do. And that scares me. I don't use it unless I have to."

He laughed. Straight laughed in my face before dipping to pull me into a brief but deep kiss. 

"How utterly peculiar. But here's your reward for being forthright." 

He pulled out in another long draw, then pushed in again. This time he kept the pattern up, circling his hips in a pulsing in and out. He moved faster and faster, each pump shuddering into the next as my body clenched around him. My knees pushed to my chest, and he sunk in even deeper, until I could practically feel him in my throat. The pressure choked the sound out of me, a moan that keened high pitch untilI I couldn't breathe. Every sound was a gasp and a pant as he pounded into me, knocking the breath out of my lungs with every thrust. 

Haarlep's form leered over me, his wings spreading out to block everything else in the room. The only thing left to focus on was his face and torso. The face that still looked like Raphael's. Why? Why was that where my mind drifted? I turned my head, looking for somewhere else to focus. He grabbed my chin and forced my face back into his gaze. 

"Focus, Miss Hero. I don't get to come until you do. Those are the rules." This next kiss was hard and angry, the sense of desperation in it carving out the underlying magic intent of this statement. Something wormed its way between our bodies and I recognized the flick of a tail on my clit. How had I so thoroughly forgotten he had a tail? It was the best part of fucking a tiefling. The tip of his tail fluttered expertly, and what had been a creeping, roiling heat became sharp and bright. It shot up through my nerves into my stomach where the orgasm broke all at once in bright stars behind my fluttering eyelids. I didn't realize how high I had even arched my back until I was collapsing back on the bed. 

Haarlep wasn't finished, though. One…two…three...and countless more hard pumps, speed becoming maddening. He lifted my body by the hips until he was practically thrusting down into me against the bed. With a primal growl, he came just as the last of my own contractions pulsed around him. I could feel the warmth flow into me from his seed, then out of me again as he dropped my body back down on the bed and pulled out.

He rolled back on his haunches, cock flopping lazily down onto the tops of his thighs. His eyes moved slowly up and down my body, face caught in a smirk. I pulled the dress back over my body to cover it. Haarlep pouted at the action but didn't object. Instead he moved off the bed and disappeared briefly back toward the tub. When he returned he was wiping himself off and had another towel ready for me. He moved to the side of the bed and dangled it above me. I reached for it, and he yanked it away in a tease. I grabbed it on the second dip, and he didn't fight me for it. 

"Was going to offer to do it for you, but if you insist…" Haarlep said. He finished his own cleanup, then dropped back into the bed where he had been when this whole thing started. This time, though, he settled immediately into the position I awoke in, arm settled across my chest and wings tucked under my body. 

"This isn't how incubi normally do things, is it?" The words felt claggy as they left my mouth. This wasn't the usual post-coital haze. Whether active fiendish magic or something as banal as the transfer of bodily fluids, Haarlep had done something to me. "I feel like I read something about invading dreams, but maybe that's old information." I blinked through the haze. "I would have at least expected a…a…uh…charm spell." 

"No need for magic when the participant is oh so willing," he muttered into my neck. He sighed. "But then, who's to say I didn't?" 

My eyes finally grew too heavy to keep open, and they drifted close. 

And I slept.

[darkjanet2]

Sonic Adventure 2: Sonadow

Chapter 7: Sonic vs Shadow Round 2

Shadow walked through the jungle looking for any sign of Choas Emerald. It was noon and he’d had to spend nearly all his time on this mission alone. He knew that it would be better if he brought Rouge with him, but she has her own mission at hand now. He looked around, not seeing the emerald, or even a trail leading towards it. Then his walkie talkie buzzed and he answered.

“This is Rouge. I've got a small problem… I can't believe I'm trapped inside this locked safe with a Chaos Emerald. I won't be able to call myself a Treasure Hunter anymore," she sighed.

”It's okay, I'll get you out," said Shadow.

"I don't think that's a good idea, it could be dangerous in here. I'll be alright. We just need to find the entrance," said Rouge.

Shadow sighed. “Alright, stay there." With that, he ran through the jungle back towards base. He found the blue hedgehog down there bathed in the waterfall and he walked closely behind the tree. He watched him as he washed himself off, thinking about how beautiful he was.

Sonic hated water, but he had to clean himself from the bad odor of his fur when he trained since last night. When he finished he walked over to the edge of the lake and shake his fur off like a dog trying to dry off after a bath.

"Ah, that's much better!" He now felt fresh and clean, but he frowned as he felt being watched. He looked up, but there was no one there.

"That's weird, I could've sworn someone was watching me. Maybe I'm being paranoid," said Sonic. He left the waterfall and headed through the jungle. After a few minutes, he finally came across a jungle that looked promising.

"Huh, so far, so good," Sonic smiled. He continued walking until he spotted the black hedgehog on the branch.

"Hey, that's…" Sonic trailed off. The two stared each other down. Shadow narrowed his eyes at him and glared at the blue blur, and Sonic glared right back.

"That blue hedgehog again, of all places…" Shadow crossed his arms.

"I found you, faker!" Sonic growled as he pointed at him.

"Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here. You're comparing yourself to me… ha! You're not even good enough to be my fake." Shadow smirked and Sonic glared at him.

"I'll make you eat those words!" Sonic charged and jumped at him. Shadow dodged the attack easily. Shadow then grabbed the blue hedgehog by his waist and threw him into the tree bark. Sonic grunted, holding onto a branch. Shadow looked smugly at him. Sonic glared at Shadow and then leaped from his tree branch onto Shadow who tried to move back, but he was stuck. His feet were pinned down under Sonic. Sonic stood over him with a smirk on his face. Shadow gritted his teeth and kicked him off him.

He pushed himself away from the hedgehog and then jumped up, landing right above him. He crouched and his hand glowed yellow and yelled, "Choas Spear!" he fired at Sonic, but he dodged with his running speed. Shadow was shocked for only a second before the azure hedgehog punched Shadow in the face. He fell back and landed on the ground with a thud. Sonic grinned triumphantly at him and then Shadow stood up and wiped the blood corner of his mouth. He looked at his gloved hand and then looked back at Sonic.

He smirked, "Not bad. For a young hedgehog, you have quite the fighting style."

Sonic laughed, "I should say the same about you," he replied. Shadow raised a brow and smirked, "Oh? Well, I guess I should show you how I fight." With that, he charged forward and Sonic tried dodging, but Shadow caught hold of his wrist and twisted it. Sonic yelped, surprised by the sudden pain. Shadow threw Sonic off and ran at him once more. Sonic tried to dodge but he wasn't fast enough. Shadow wrapped his arm around his neck and lifted him high off the ground. He pulled back his fist and prepared to deliver the final blow. Sonic broke free from his grasp and flew backward. He landed hard on his back, causing him to groan in pain. Shadow quickly approached him, ready to finish the blue hedgehog off once and for all. Sonic quickly sat up, dodged another strike, and swung his leg to hit Shadow's backside. Shadow was knocked off balance, sending him tumbling to the side. Shadow stood up and rolled himself into a ball into a homing attack and Sonic did the same. They both went crashing to the ground causing the grass and dirt to fly everywhere. They stopped rolling and turned their heads toward each other. They glanced at each other and panting heavily. They didn't say anything for several moments, simply staring at one another.

Shadow then closed his eyes and chuckled. Sonic raised an eyebrow in confusion. Shadow opened his eyes and looked directly into Sonic's eyes. Sonic was completely taken aback by what he saw and almost backed away in fear. But instead, he remained in a defensive stance. Shadow smirked and then began to speak, "You've really been doing well, I mean, I knew your powers couldn't compare to mine… But you haven't been defeated yet. And you certainly aren't going to win against me today."

"What are you talking about?" Sonic asked, still not backing away. Shadow smirked, knowing the answer already. He walked toward Sonic, who remained rooted to the spot where he stood. Shadow leaned down and placed his hands on Sonic's face, which he was shocked.

"Wh-what are you doi--" Shadow cut off Sonic by kissing him deeply. Sonic froze and Shadow was kissing him passionately. Sonic wanted to push him and get off him, but he didn't know how to react. So, he stayed still. Finally, Shadow broke the kiss and looked down at Sonic, his face was redder than ever, and his mouth slightly agape. He wanted to ask why he kissed him, but he couldn't think straight. His eyes were wide and his heart rate was rapidly increasing.

Shadow backed away from Sonic, and the walkie talkie buzzed and it was Eggman's voice.

"Shadow? What are you doing?! Hurry and get back here right now before the island blows up with you on it!" Eggman shouted.

The blue hedgehog snapped out of his daze and then spoke, "Blow up?!" he cried out.

"Shit." Shadow escaped the jungle and left Sonic behind. Sonic started to panic. Eggman was blowing up the island?

'Shit! I gotta get outta here fast and find Amy and Tails!' Sonic thought as he started running. He needed to find Tails and Amy immediately. Sonic ran into the jungle and headed straight for the forest. He hopped on the trees and looked around, trying to see where the explosions were coming from. He wasted no time and jumped between trees, dodging branches.

Meanwhile, Shadow was running through to the base and found Rouge standing there and she had carried 3 Chaos Emeralds that she had found. Shadow used his peridot Emerald. "Chaos Control!" Shadow yelled and grabbed Rouge and teleported them out of danger.

Back in the jungle, Sonic managed to escape from the trap and he ran through the jungle looking for a way out, but he couldn't find a way. All he kept bumping into trees and bushes were vines that were blocking his way. Sonic was starting to grow nervous, but he knew that he couldn't give up yet. Fortunately, Tails and Amy were on the biplane and found Sonic.

"Sonic, quick! Hop on!" Tails shouted.

Sonic hopped on the biplane and they took off in the air. The time bomb hit zero and the island blew up, destroying everything and everyone. Tails and Amy let out a sigh of relief and then they all cheered together.

"You okay, Sonic?" asked Tails.

Sonic nodded, "Yeah, that was a close call. Thanks, guys. How'd you find me anyway?" He asked.

Tails smirked, "Well, I used Chaos Control to teleport us and we followed your trail through the woods."

Sonic was quiet for a moment and then said, "Thanks, again."

Tails smiled, "No problem."

Amy hugged Sonic tightly, "Oh, Sonic, I'm so glad you made it out alive!" She tried to kiss Sonic, but he held her head away from him, "C'mon, Ames! Stop!" he exclaimed in annoyance.

"So what happened back there? Did you beat that guy?" asked Tails curious.

"Well, I managed to fight this guy, but he got away and ended up getting escape before it exploded," Sonic explained.

"So, does this mean you're gonna go after him?" Amy questioned. Sonic thought for a minute and then responded, "Nah, it wouldn't matter since he'll probably be gone by now anyways." He paused and then looked at the others, "But we should probably start heading back now."

"Okay, let's go to the meadow and find a place to rest." Tails said.

"Good idea," Amy agreed.

Tails flew down towards the meadow, there was a beautiful flowery field there surrounded by a huge lake. There were also some nice grassy spots and a mountain. As soon as they landed, they dismounted the biplane and the place was safe from the disastrous Prison Island. Then, they decided to set up the camp and find food to eat. Tails found the lake and put his fishing rod in the water. Amy found some fruit nearby and plucked some of them to try. While they did that, Sonic laid down the grassy patch and then stretched. He yawned and then relaxed his muscles and lay down. After laying down, he shut his eyes and fell asleep, forgetting all about the fight with Shadow. His mind Shadow kissed him.