#if i take a while to respond im doing chores or something!

[aibouart]

Art Trades Opening~

Okay so I hate artfight for specific reasons but i wanna draw and none of my OCs are doing it for me, but idk if i have the organisational skills rn (i have a fuck ton of chores to do today) to accept new comms SO ANYWAYS

I am opening for ~3 art trades. (might come back and do more if I have time)

We will be doing flat chibis (full body) at min. I will not trade a flat chibi for a sketch, you must match my level of completion. You can go above that if you desire (shading, non chibi, etc) but please don't expect me to be able to match your level of completion. I just need to make sure you know what completion level to expect going into this! please don't haggle completion levels (such as offering 2x coloured sketches), i don't really have the energy to think about all that stuff rn sorry.

you must be able to complete your end in at least a month, please. otherwise i will forget entirely about this. also due to past experience, i will not be sending you the full res image of my end if i finish before you. I will only send a low res thumbnail. i will not be sending WIPs for error fixes etc (i will send them as proof of progress!), as this is not a commission, but if i forgot something egregious/important in the finalised image, PLEASE let me know! i still want you to like it!

please no overly complicated characters. mine aren't super marking heavy, either! you can send a complicated character to ask if it's okay, and i'll let you know~

I REQUIRE this info: (feel free to reblog w this form or DM me! if it fits into the replies that works, too.)

Example of your art: (image/link/your art tag) Character(s) you want me to draw: (image/url) Must Haves: (accessories that are not optional, if you wanted the character to be a specific mood/personality, etc)

Here are my characters I'd love to see drawn, pick yer poison~ My furry/anthro characters do not have pronounced muzzles, they are specifically kemono style..!

1: BunSong 2: Shitvee 3: Calpico 4: ChooChoo 5: Cim 6: My Pokesona 7: Yarby 8: My Splatsona

I tried to include variety so hopefully one of them works for you~

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Naruto boys calling you ma’am ──☆*:・ﾟ

!Slightly suggestive!

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆

Naruto🦊-*

He’s sassy so ofc he’s gunna piss you off by calling you “ma’am” making you feel old. Normally when you scold him over stupid things he refers to you as that-

“Did you think about how dangerous that is?!” “No ma’am!” “use your little head before doing something dumb!” “Yes ma’am!” “ok stop with the ma’am I feel like a teacher scolding a bad student” “what you gunna smack me with a ruler?” Rolls eyes “I will if you don’t keep quiet!” “Whatever you say! Ma’am~” “I’ll be back with the ruler.” “WHAT?!”

Sasuke🗡️-*

He uses it nonchalantly or when he’s being goofy. Like everytime he leaves home you always say “be safe baby” and he always responds with “yes ma’am.” In a serious tone. He knows you worry that one day he may not come back so he must reassure you!

“Be safe Sasuke. I expect you home by 10!” “Yes ma’am, i will I promise. I must go now! I’ll see you at dinner darling” you whisper “it’s cute when you call me that” right before he closes the door (he heard it anyways)

Itachi🥀-*

He is such a good boyfriend honestly. He’s the kind of guy to do little tasks for you when you ask. So normally when your to lazy all you gotta do is ask him to do it instead!

“Tachi, can you please get me some more water?” “Yes ma’am!!!” Very rare times you ask him to do something without him responding with a “yes ma’am~”

Kakashi🍃-*

His mouth gets himself in trouble, sometimes he says things that could be viewed a different way without realizing it. For example he once said you remind him of a frog. I don’t know how it’s a compliment but he meant it as one…which obviously you didn’t know

“ARE YOU CALLING ME AN UGLY FROG KASHI?!” “N-no ma’am! That’s not what I mea-” “NO I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANNNN! YOU THINK IM SLIMEY TOAD” you start smiling once you realize how silly this really is “no I swear I meant it in a nice way!!!” “WELL-…did you call me ma’am?” “Uhm…depends do you not like it” you chuckle “no I don’t mind, it’s cute.” He lets out a sigh of relief “well I guess I’ll call you that more often?~”

Kiba🐺-*

Like kakashi his mouth gets him in trouble, exept Kiba does it on purpose to try and get a rise out of you he likes it when your rough ofc that means he just teases as much as possible, but then he tries acting all innocent

He’s on his knees directly infront of your legs waiting for you to look at him “I know what your doing Kiba. It’s not gunna work” he flashes the puppy eyes “well I’m not doing anything y/n🥺” “so your serious not trying to get a rise out of me?” “Noooo ma’am” you grab his face with your hand rather aggressively“is this want you want puppy?” A very quiet “Yes” could be heard from him

Shikamaru🀄️-*

He only calls you ma’am when you nag him about doing chores or helping you cook, he knows he can’t say no but “maam” is his only way of back talk

“Hey Shika be a dear and take out the trash” “ahhh yes anything for you ma’am.” He responded in the most sarcastic voice he could make “watch that tone babe!” “Yeah yeah whatever, such a pain” “I’ll show you pain.” A water bottle was soon thrown directly at his head LOL

Shino🪲-*

Call me weird but I feel like if he was going to call you something like that he would call you mistress instead but that’s for another time! When he does call you ma’am it’s mostly because he admires your leadership. You guys would be testing battle strategy and when you command him into a certain position you could here his cheerful “yes ma’am” while he runs into position

Neji🎋-*

He only uses it to get out of trouble actually. When he does something he isn’t supposed to he tries lying abt what he did

“Neji. Were you in my drawers?” “What!!! No ma’am that is absurd I would never dig through your shirt drawer!” You look at him with a blank stare “I never said it was my shirt drawer. Time to fess up pretty.” He sighs loudly. “Fine yes. But only because I missed your scent!!!” “Awwwww…kinda creepy but cute!!”

Lee🥋-*

Your like his own personal Inspirator. You give him pep talk like every single day and being the energy ball he is he is so hyped to hear about it

“Are you gunna train hard today?” “Yes ma’am!” “And you going to be proud of yourself no matter what?!” “Yes ma’am!!!!!” “Are you not gunna over work yourself for me?” “YES MA’AM!!!!”

Choji🍥-*

Again he takes your authority very seriously! So ma’am is fitting when your taking charge of every day things. Even if your not trying to be all serious he will always respect your power but he also looks to you for guidance

“Hey handsome you said you needed me?” “Yes y/n-chan. I figured you could help me with this?” You sigh “the only way I’ll be of help is if you do what I tell you too, can you…do that?” “Yes ma’am! I’m a very good listener!” You giggle “cute now let’s get started”

Gaara⏳-*

He has mommy issues and your strong and independent ofc he’s gunna call you names like that and ask for you to take care of him?! You love babying him anyways but it’s always so cute when he’s had a rough day mentally wise and the first thing he does is go to you

“Y/n, may we please have some alone time…” he asked shyly “of course rose, bad mental day?” You open your arms to him “yes ma’am. It was hard today.” He comments before hopping in your arms waiting for you to make everything better

Kankuro🪆-*

He calls you ma’am when your all mad at him for being bratty “but I was just checking out your new pants!” “You expect me to believe that you were just looking at my pants and not my ass?” “Yes ma’am” kinda like Kiba he wants you to be rough with him ok. He’s just trying to tease so you do something about it which you don’t because your strong, and it’s funner to just calling him a brat and watching him squirm at the insults



[sweetkpopmusings]

dokyeom best friend headcanons <3

a/n: back at it again (finally) with best friend seventeen !!! one day i will finish all of these hcs and the boyfriend ones too.....until that day, please enjoy hundreds of words that represent my love for sweet dokyeom!!! pics not mine~

content: fluff | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!dokyeom x gn!reader | requests:open

dokyeom is sunshine personified which means he is literally the best friend anyone can ask for

like hello ??? a happiness virus by your side at all times ??? an angel being just a quick text or phone call away ??? a dream come true if you ask me 

he is a very sweet, casual best friend

he is so thoughtful, and he’s always checking up on you

but it’s not through grand gestures or cinematic speeches

he will text you during the day to see how you’re doing, remind you to drink water, or even ask about your chores (and if he can come over and “help” aka distract you lol)

dokyeom just cares so much about you :-( like you’re his BESTIE and he refuses to accept you having anything other than a perfect day every day

which means he is the absolute best source of comfort

he will always be a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear

and he comforts you in the ways that you respond to best

want advice? he’ll stay up for hours talking through all the possible solutions with you. want to vent? he will listen intently and validate every single feeling you have. want to forget about the world for a while? he’s taking you out to do your favorite activities or staying in with you and binging your favorite content to escape from the stresses of reality

dokyeom isn’t afraid to ask how he can support you best either like he’s always working to be the best friend he can be

and he is HONORED every time you support him

sweet baby actually cries whenever you’re there for him like he is so so grateful 

he can’t believe he’s lucky enough to have an amazing person like you as his closest friend

usually while you’re comforting him he’ll thank you profusely, cry, laugh at the fact he’s crying over how much he loves you YET again, and smile like everything is fixed

everything IS fixed when you’re by his side actually <333 dokyeom tells you this constantly and he means it.

okay back to him being literal sunshine because im getting emotional lolol

dokyeom laughs at EVERY. SINGLE. JOKE. YOU. MAKE.

like even if it's not that funny, he finds you trying to be funny so hilarious that he's giving you no less than a hearty chuckle for every joke or joke-adjacent thing you say

if you say something particularly funny, he is throwing himself onto the nearest surface (which could very well be you, if you're standing/sitting near each other) and cackling while smacking his hand down repeatedly because he just can't take The Comedy

deadass you're his favorite comedian 

and he LOVES to do bits with you!!!

y'all have a whole repertoire to pull out at any moment that calls for it or whenever you're in the mood

lowkey hoshi gets jealous but it’s fine because you and dokyeom let him in on the bits sometimes 

obviously he is THRILLED any time you laugh at one of his jokes

which is constantly because hello ?? he is a strange and silly boy like you are entertained 25/8

sometimes you two have to ditch your plans entirely because you get so caught up in joking around with each other you lose track of time

these are dokyeom’s favorite hangouts <33 he LOVES being in your own world together :,,,-)

lowkey he gets jealous if you spend a lot of time with any of his members

it’s not super serious, but he definitely pouts

that’s MY y/n !!! they’re MY best friend !!! not YOURS !!!

it’s so endearing because he’s like a little kid who doesn’t want his friend playing with anyone else on the playground

he becomes the most excited puppy when you pay attention to him again though

the members tease him for this behavior but he just reminds them they don’t get it because you’re not their best friend >:-)

talk about a hype man

dokyeom is 1384302094503% dedicated to making you feel confident

he thinks you are incredible inside and out and he will not accept it if you don’t agree

whether he needs to buy you an entirely new wardrobe or script a full presentation on why you are the best person ever, dokyeom is Locked In on the loving y/n agenda 

your reputation absolutely precedes you whenever you meet someone from dokyeom’s life

they know all about you and are immediately obsessed with you because of everything dokyeom has told them

dokyeom will be by your side, smiling brightly, relishing in how much they already love you

he’ll even suggest stories for you to tell when you’re having conversations in a group because he knows how to highlight your best moments

honestly he would totally have a stan account for you and make “y/n funniest moments” compilations and things of that nature

he’s your #1 fangirl and he takes that role VERY seriously

why ?? because one of the proudest achievements in dokyeom’s life is being your best friend :,-) <333333

UGH i love dokyeom so much he is the sweetest boy ever and i need to look at pictures of his beautiful smile and cry because i’m so grateful to be in the world at the same time as him <3333

dokyeom if you’re taking applications for additional friends please let me know i’m eager to take advantage of this exciting opportunity

[aothotties]

Dont Piss Me Off- Sukuna

📸:villain_lady on IG

pairing: Sukuna x fem!reader

CW: established relationship, angry sex, rough sex, cnc kinda???, ass/pussy slapping, dom!sukuna, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions breeding, pet names, lil tiny fluff at the end

wc: 1.8k

You tried your best to stay calm but the fact that you spent the whole day cleaning the house while your boyfriend, Sukuna, did nothing had your blood boiling 

He typically helped and you both split the chores evenly but today he played his game the whole. Fucking. Day

Tears stung your eyes as you continued folding laundry. You wanted to walk into the room so bad, tear the game off the dresser, and toss it out the window but you knew the best thing to do was to try and talk it out calmly 

After you finished the laundry you walked in the room and decided to confront him

“Sukuna, we need to talk” you said with your arms crossed

He didn't even look away from his game to acknowledge you

“Im serious we need to talk,now” you raised your voice as you spoke 

“Yeah okay, in a minute Y/N i'm in the middle of this right now” he said as he continued to stare at the screen in front of him. 

That shit pushed you to your breaking point. After working hard all day making sure your house is spotless he had the audacity to brush you off??

“See this is the shit I'm talking about. Fuck you ,Sukuna, you do nothing but piss me off” you stated plainly even though you were fighting back tears

He finally looked up from the game and shit you a puzzled look. He was shocked to hear you cursing at him, something you rarely ever did.

You were glad that he was finally acknowledging you but the fact that it took you getting loud made you even angrier.

“You're pathetic. You seriously mean to tell me I have to talk to you like this to get your attention? Fucking ridiculous”

You turned to leave to room so you could take a minute to breathe but sukuna stood up and grabbed your arm

“What's your problem?” he asked while he held onto you 

“Don't touch me!” you yelled as you tried to push him with your free hand 

He quickly grabbed your other arm and lightly pinned both of them to your side so you couldn't move. You tried to get out of his grasp but he was too strong. You sighed in defeat and looked up at your boyfriend, tears running down your face 

“I have spent the whole entire day cleaning” you said between sniffs, “and not once did you get off your stupid game to help me”

“Why didn't you just ask me to help” he asked bluntly and shrugged his shoulders

His response did nothing but bring back your anger. You couldn't stand how nonchalant he was being. 

You tried getting out of his grip again and tried to push him away 

“The fuck off me suku-”

“Stop talking to me like that” he said, cutting you off

“No, you made me mad. You didn't do shit all day now you're acting like it's not a big deal. Boy fuck you!” you said angrily 

“Y/N” he spoke softly, “i'm going to ask you one more time to not talk to me like that. We can talk about this calm-”

It was now your turn to cut him off 

“Fuck talking calm! I tried coming in here to talk to you calmly and you ignored me. Now that I gotta get loud it's an issue? I dont give a fuck i really dont”

Sukuna looked down at you and clenched his jaw. The grip he had on both of your wrists tightened and he used his body to press you against the wall.

He hated when you talked to him like this. It was the one thing that he hated the most about you fighting with him. Cursing in your everyday talk never bothered him but cursing at him? He hated it 

He dropped one of your wrists and grabbed your jaw to force you to look up at him.

“I just told you not to curse at me but you still do it” he said through clenched teeth

“And I told you I don't care,” you mumbled. It was hard for you to speak with his hand on your jaw 

The grip tightened and you knew you wouldn't be able to respond anymore. You tried pushing him off you one more time but to no avail. Your large boyfriend was not budging.

Sukuna’s eyes darkened and he sighed out in frustration 

“You just can't listen, can you? You refuse to talk to me in a calm manner and now it’s come to this” he moved his face closer to yours as he spoke 

“Get on the bed right now” he commanded 

You tried to speak to say no but the grip he still held on your jaw made it impossible. You shook your head no and never broke eye contact with him.

No matter the circumstance you loved challenging Sukuna. You always liked to see how far you could push him.

He wasn't in the mood for your shit. He took your arm and dragged you to the bed and threw your body onto it as if you were a ragdoll.

“Don't piss me off Y/N” he said aggressively 

Your anger turned to lust and all your feelings rushed to your cunt. He had pissed you off by ignoring you but your attitude pissed him off even more and you knew exactly what you were going to get in return.

Sukuna flipped you onto your stomach and crawled over you. He grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled it so that you were looking up at him 

“You know i don't like when you don't listen, Y/N” he said to you 

“And i don't care” you said back, knowing it would push him over the edge  

He kissed his teeth and pushed your head down. He got off the bed and removed his shorts and briefs. His hard dick sprung out and you squirmed in anticipation of what was about to happen to your body.

He harshly smacked your ass causing it to sting.

 “stop moving” he said before grabbing your shorts and pulling them off in one swift motion, taking your soaking wet panties off with them.

He roughly grabbed your hips and lifted your ass in the air. Your pussy was on full display in front of him. He could see just how wet you were as your pussy throbbed around nothing 

He gave your cunt a harsh smack and you hissed from the pain mixed with pleasure.

Sukuna got back on the bed behind you and lined his bright pink tip with your needy hole. 

He shoved his whole length in you, not even giving you a chance to adjust to his size. He groaned as he quickly bottomed out.He wasted no time and began fucking you harshly. His hips slapped hard against your ass with each thrust. 

Your walls were clenching around him causing him to moan. You were a mess under him 

“Su-sukuna, fuck!” you whined out 

Your moans were answered with yet another hard smack on your ass, you were sure it would leave a print

“Don't speak, i don't want to hear your voice again” he said as he fucked into you harder 

The large vein that ran down the length of his thick shaft was rubbing you in that sweet spot that drove you insane 

You continually fought the urge to whine and tell your boyfriend how close you are. You felt your body get hot and your climax grew deeper in your core. 

Your whole body shook as you reached your climax. You wanted to scream but your very mean boyfriend already told you not to speak and you can't imagine the punishment you’d receive if you disobeyed him.

You let out a small whimper as you reached the end of your orgasm. Sukuna laughed at how you were shaking and whining.

He aggressively grabbed your body and flipped you onto your back. He grabbed your thighs and pushed them up to your chest then slid his dick back into your aching cunt 

You bit your lip to try and stop your moans but he leaned down right above your face

“Go ahead mama, you can whine for me” he spoke before placing a sloppy kiss on your lips 

“Daddy, right there!” you whined out. Your boyfriend was hitting your sweet spot again and you knew you would cum quickly for him again

One thing about sukuna, he made sure you always had more than one orgasm for him.

He pressed his weight onto you and shoved his dick in you deeper. His tip was abusing your cervix 

“d-daddy , i can't take it!”, tears formed in your eyes as you looked up at him, hoping he’d give your body some mercy 

“Now the little princess can't take it,hm? The way you were talking earlier made me think you could take it. Where's that attitude now baby?” his voice was low as he hovered right above your face 

No matter how much you begged Sukuna didn't let up one bit. He continued to give your cunt deep, hard strokes. You whined and cried under him and it gave him motivation to keep going 

You felt your orgasm building once again, “im so close daddy” you cried out

“Mhm mama cum for daddy”, he groaned in response 

Your legs shook violently as you came undone for your boyfriend. His strokes became erratic meaning he was nearing his own climax

“Want me to fuck a baby into you?” he asked as he started speeding up 

He knew you were on birth control but you both loved the idea of breeding when you were having sex. You loved the way it feels when he fills you up

You nodded in response to his question. He leaned down and gave you a messy kiss. His tongue intertwined with yours and he groaned in your mouth.

Sukuna reached his climax and shot hot ropes into you. He put your legs down and slowly slid out of you 

He laid next to you and wrapped his arms around your body as you both came down from your high.

He placed a soft kiss on your temple, “im sorry baby i was distracted by my game and completely let it slip my mind that today is cleaning day” he pulled you in closer and placed more kisses all over your face 

He then got up out of the bed and slipped his clothes back on. He walked back over to the bed and put the blanket on you 

“Just lay down okay, I'll put away all the laundry and wash the dishes. You want korean bbq tonight?”

“Yes please. And i'm sorry for yelling at you” you said as you looked at him with a sad expression 

“It’s okay mama I should have listened” he leaned over and gave you a kiss then he left the room and closed the door behind him as he walked out 

You laid in bed and dozed off as your boyfriend finished the chores.

Rachel

[sturnsmadl]

new year, still you.

warnings- a lot of alcohol mentioned!!, kissing, mentions of weed, mentions of breakup, big ego chris, dirty talk, i dont know what else :)

pairing-exbf!chris x exgf!reader.

divider by @bernardsbendystraws!!

a/n at the bottom!

you're getting ready for one of tara yummy's iconic party's it being more difficult then usual because you forgot to buy anything and digging through your wardrobe has shown itself to be quite the chore.

you end up settling on a black mini dress with black heels and a simple hairstyle with a black bow to match.

once you get to the party you look around for your best friend, nicole. you know she would immediately go to the drinks so thats what you do and to no suprise she's stood there mixing a million different vodkas into her cup.

"you look cute." she looks up confused but her face immediately lights up when she see's it's you.

"hey! oh my- you look amazing!"

you give eachother a quick side hug before she carries on with mixing her drink while speaking to you.

"guess who's here?" she looks at you and your eyebrows raise curiously.

"chris." your face drops immediately. chris is your ex and you ended on quite bad terms but honestly you kind of forgot about him until he was just brought up.

you never fully got over him.

"really? is he with anyone?" she smirks at your question and you sigh.

"im just asking." you mix yourself your own drink before nicole wanders off with a random guy who you actually believe is chris's brother, matt.

you walk back through the crowded kitchen to the even busier living room which is when you spot chris who bites his bottom lip and looks you up and down before walking over which makes you gulp as you freeze where you're stood.

"long time no see. princess." you sigh at the use of the pet name you hated so much even while you we're dating, making his stupid smirk get even bigger you can just smell the scent of weed coming off his clothes.

"yeah. seems a good thing." he lets out a small laugh at your stubborness and nudges your shoulder.

"you still mad?"

"i was never mad. it was a mutual decision to end it, i dont get why you're telling everyone different." you look at him as you speak before looking foward, sipping your drink as he responds.

"cause what kind of guy would people think i am if they knew a pretty girl like you ended it with a guy like me?" he laughs arrogantly and you sigh.

"i can see your ego is just as big as it was before."

he smirks and leans down to whisper in your ear.

"thats not the only thing thats big about me and you know it."

you scoff in disgust and he smiles at your reaction.

"what? no denial huh?" he looks down at you as you're trying to suppress your smile.

"shutup." you quickly finish your drink and his eyes widen.

"woah. slow down on the drinking princess. we want you responsive by the end of the night."

just as you go to argue back everyone starts to count down to the new year, chris looks straight into your eyes and as they get to 1 he grabs your chin and kisses you without a second thought.

you freeze and it takes you a second to register whats happening before you relax and kiss him back for a few seconds before pulling back and looking up at him as his hands creeps down to squeeze your ass, something he used to do all the time while you were dating.

"happy new year ma."

you smile and pull your dress down slightly as his hand grips your waist.

"upstairs in 5. yeah?"

you nod as he smirks at you and walks away to the kitchen.

a/n- i have an idea for part 2 of this but i honestly dont think ill go through with it. happy new year whenever yours is :)

taglist! @bellaonthelow @hopelessfawn @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chrisss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii @stvrlighht @asherrisrandom @amelia-sturniolo3 @pvssychicken @owensbabygirl @ncm9696 @sturniolo-fann @watchu-mean-baby-keem @babyalliah-777 @imtheprett @coochiedestroyer1 @scarlettbitches @slutniolo @idkwhatthisis2009 @anabanabanana @chriscorqutte @slvttie-zx @hi-7-hi @sophand4n4 @pasteldreams

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, im very sorry if this is a strange thing to ask

ive been struggling with schizophrenia since adolescence and i really cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. i feel so alone and isolated and i don't really know what to do with myself anymore. living feels like a chore.

does it ever get easier/better? seeing people who are a lot older than me with schizophrenia gives me a lot of hope but i hope things won't always feel this dire. :(

again i'm very sorry if this is weird, thank you so much regardless

hey that's not a weird thing to ask, i actually felt the same way when i was diagnosed!

the thing about schizophrenia is it's so hard to find emotionally neutral information on it. everyone wants to make it out to be the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to you. when i got diagnosed, i remember the chills running down my spine. i remember sitting in that psych hospital, reading a poster on the wall about schizophrenia. i sat there thinking that my life was over, that i was destined to be miserable

things were hard while i was finding the right medication for my psychosis. my emotions were all over the place. i could NOT sleep. insomnia has always been a huge issue for me ever since childhood. i was miserable. i was constantly dealing with delusions- for me, delusions affect me a bit more than hallucinations do. i felt depressed and agitated all at once. it took trying a handful of antipsychotics (risperidone, geodon, zyprexa, abilify and seroquel) before i found the one that works the best for me. for me, it's seroquel, and it has actually give me a much better lease on life!

my thinking isn't anywhere near is scrambled. i don't experience anywhere near as much catatonia. i sleep pretty well, and i stay asleep. my hallucinations are still there, but much more tolerable. when i'm dealing with delusional thinking, i'm able to double bookkeep and keep myself in check. i can stop myself if i start going down a spiral of over analyzing patterns. i can work myself down from the edge of fear when im terrified that my apartment is bugged, or something like that. i'm not constantly terrified that my neighbors can hear my thoughts

it does and can get better for many of us! i'm definitely doing far better now than i was after i got diagnosed. this will be different for everyone, of course, so if you don't respond to medication, don't give up. there's nothing wrong with being like this. you're not responsible for how your brain is wired. your brain is just like that. my psych meds provider explained to me that i will likely experience most of my symptoms to some degree or another for the rest of my life, and that it's not something to dread, but rather, something to approach as it happens. kind of like regular health maintenance. you drink some extra water when you have a headache. you take care of yourself when you have a bad psychotic episode. that kind of thing

if you ever need help feel free to ask questions! schizophrenia isn't all doom and gloom. it gets easier when we find ways to cope with what we're constantly being presented. i would say taking the time to learn about how your schizophrenia manifests will help you feel a bit better. yours will be different from mine, you will have different needs than me. it's okay to acknowledge what those needs are.

schizophrenia isn't a death sentence, it's just how some brains are wired. take care of yourself!

[angelfoxx]

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ❝ A DIFFERENT NAME. ❞

…what they (endearingly) call you.

FEATURING: simon “ghost” riley, john “soap” mactavish, keegan p russ

WARNINGS: suggestive + mild nsfw. mild. also implied fem!reader for keegan’s part

NOTE/S: i love keegan so fucking much i want to plant my face between his legs and mash my face into his lap

★ SIMON “GHOST” RILEY.

✦ For a while, nothing. The progression is your callsign, to your last name, and then to your first name, and then it kind of stops there, because that’s a lot.

✦ At some point, probably when you two are casually working together — not on the field but just back at base, maybe you’re doing chores or something of the like — maybe he’s feeling a little sappy, or maybe he’s just a little tired, but either way, he’s not gatekeeping his words. He’s not watching himself.

✦ You pass him a mug of tea, and he takes it with a grunt and “thanks, love.”

✦ Absolute fucking silence.

✦ He stumbles into a short apology, and you almost fall over yourself trying to tell him that it’s okay and actually it’s really endearing and you really like being called that. He actually argues against you, cites safety as one of the reasons that he can’t call you that and get used to calling you that — and then, at some point, he runs out of rebuttals and all that’s left is the fact that you want him to keep calling you that.

✦ It takes him a long time to get comfortable with it, but over time, “love” becomes his new nickname of choice for you. At some point, he seems to say it more than he addresses you by your actual name. In public, he doesn’t usually call for you by name, and if he does, it’s your last name or maybe your first name. In private, he eventually almost solely refers to you as love. He also does it excessively. “G’morning, love. You tired, love? That one’s yours, love.” Et cetera.

★ JOHN “SOAP” MACTAVISH.

✦ Because he’s the way he is, chances are you’re being called by a nickname more than you’re being called by your name. And not necessarily, like, lovey-dovey ones.

✦ He’ll call you by your callsign on missions, right? And then you get back to base afterward and you’re both still sweaty and gross and he’ll come over and clap you on the back and go “that’s how it’s fuckin’ done, sugartits!” and you get to respond in kind by calling him whatever stupid nickname you can think of. “Dickweed” makes him laugh.

✦ At some point in the relationship, though, you guys don’t just fuck around 24/7. To be clear, the stupid nicknames are always going to stick around and the entire base knows that the two of you seem to be in a headlock over who can come up with the worse one, but as time goes on, there are genuine sweet ones thrown in.

✦ “Baby” is his favorite. Horrendously basic considering that he mashes words up for the most abhorrent nicknames he can make up, but he seems to like the simple shortness of it. It slips off of his tongue so nicely and it seems like, while his stupid nicknames make him laugh, “baby” makes him smile like an idiot.

✦ He’s most prone to using it in private (it’s deliciously low and gravelly when he’s got his eyes lidded and mouth curved into a wicked smirk and he’s knelt so casually between your legs) or in public. Especially if it’s a night where everyone is training or gaming. Any sort of situation in which you can beat someone else, he’s calling you by it. “Get ‘im, baby!” “Fuck ‘im up, baby.” Things like that. If/when you win in sparring matches or poker or whatever the fuck else, he’s very prone to celebrating on your behalf and referring to you as “my fuckin’ baby/girl/boy”.

★ KEEGAN P RUSS.

✦ this man could call me whatever the fuck he wants and i’d go weak in the knees. he could call me shitbrains in that sexy fucking voice of his and id be like yes yes shitbrains is me that’s me can I choke on your dick sir can i gargle your balls can i

✦ He really likes to call you by your last name. He makes a point out of using it as much as he can. If you have a callsign, he usually disregards it and just continues to call you by your last name. If you ask him about it, he’ll play dumb. and he’ll be biting back a smirk and then you’ll get on your knees and suck him off cause why haven��t you started doing that already

✦ Eventually, though, he might feel inclined to tease you. He’s obviously not opposed to doing the dirty work for the Ghosts — he’ll climb through sewers, stake out in muddy creeks, et cetera. If you make a comment about those environments to him, he’s prone to laughing at you and then, god damn the man, he’ll tease. “Not good enough for you, princess?”

✦ You sort of freeze up. He notices your hesitation and briefly thinks it’s because he’s possibly incurred a friendly fight but no, it’s because of that fucking name. Keegan’s blessed with the ability to fluster you very easily and so him calling you fucking princess has you sort of stumbling over yourself.

✦ He tortures you with it. Tortures you. He calls you princess or doll (because both make you sound little and weak, and he loves trying to get under your skin) when there are other people almost within earshot. He knows they can’t hear him — he’s insanely perceptive. You don’t know that, though, and so when you’re gearing up for a mission and he stoops down on his walk by and tells you that “you got a smudge on your cheek, princess”, he almost cackles upon your eyes going wide and your response being to immediately scold him for it. He’ll keep it coolly professional on public comms, but he’s tormenting you with it when you’re face-to-face or on a channel exclusive to the two of you.

✦ He tortures you with it in the best way. He does. Because he’s calling you princess while you two are working and he’s calling you princess when he’s looking to get a rise out of you but he’s also calling you princess when he’s got you bound so expertly in his private barracks and he’s also calling you princess when you’re straddling him in the driver’s seat of one of the repossessed armored cars and—

✦ LORD

[burn-before-reading]

Love in the Time of Socialism

joost klein x artist!reader

art, mush, and ramblings about life

warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk

word count: 2k

a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything

title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House

Rpf below the cut—

Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.

So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.

Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.

But you can’t ignore him.

“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”

“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.

“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”

Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.

“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”

“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.

“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”

“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”

“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.

“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

-

Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.

You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.

The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.

“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.

“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”

“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.

He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.

“Its okay to take a break, you know.”

“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”

“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.

“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.

“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.

“I don’t know what I would paint.”

“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”

“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.

“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.

you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.

tap tap tap tap

“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”

the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.

“what are you painting?”

“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.

“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.

“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”

tap tap tap tap tap tap

you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.

“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.

“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”

“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”

You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”

“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.

“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”

Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”

“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.

You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.

-

“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.

“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”

“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”

he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.

You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.

It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

So this is an ongoing argument with my roommate. I (22nb) am autistic, and T (55f) has ADHD.

Now to get this out of the way, i do say thank you. I was always taught to wait a moment after receiving something, take a bite or appreciate what you were given for a breath, before thanking someone so that you could add something more to it. My roommate and I both agree that i do say thank you the vast majority of the time, but the problem for her is that i do not say it fast enough.

T often gives me a "tHaNk yOu" while the item in question is still being passed. This seems ridiculous to me as i haven't even been fully given it yet.

In addition, i have the dishes as my household chore, and i do them daily, despite almost never making any dishes myself. I do this to both support T and her diet, as well as contribute to the household that i live in.

T thanks me near daily for doing the dishes. This always seems weird and unnecessary to me, as it is my responsibility. I have told her this. I dont expect to be thanked for doing my own laundry, after all. In return, T gets upset that i dont notice and thank her for taking out the garbage/recycling/compost, to which she is the main contributor to and is under her responsibilities.

As for please: i do say this much more rarely. I think it feels overly preformative and fake, and i typical choose more "would you mind closing my door for me" "if its not too much of a hassle, could you toss me my waterbottle" "id appreciate it if you could preheat the oven while you're in the kitchen"

I think that these work perfectly fine as a replacement. Please just has always felt wrong and fake. No one else in my entire life has ever commented on this before.

Thirdly; T has been upset that i don't respond to her apologies appropriately. After she is snappy at me (due to her emotional disregulation from ADHD) (last time it was because i asked if she was using the oven instead of asking if i could use the oven myself, for reference) there is a 50/50 shot that she will come and apologize.

I dont often accept apologies. Apologies are for the person saying them to get it off their chests, or to make you put it behind them. Usually, ill say something like "it was just one of those days, y'know?" Or "its alright, water under the bridge"

Because i was always taught that apologies came with a promise of change, and T can't (or won't) change how she re-directs her frustration at unrelated things to things ive done "wrong". When she told me the correct response was "i forgive you", i decided to not engage instead of telling her directly that i didnt forgive her (because i am certain she will do it again). (I usually dont engage with her when shes irritated: she never notices and just wants to say her piece so im not being rude here)

She said that i was being disrespectful, "like always", and when i suggested it may be more difficult for me due to my autism, she said that we made plenty of accommodations for me (which i think is false), and that i just needed to do this for her comfort. That please/thank yous were something she needed to feel appreciated and i should be making more accommodations for her.

To me, i feel like she is getting really caught up on semantics and is being a little controlling about it. But maybe its just a boundary? I dont know if i could commit to changing my language for her though, i feel like i will just start forgetting after awhile because it feels so fake. Shouldn't it be better for me to say things genuinely than just for her approval?

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

[08melancholie]

in typical "i can fix him" fashion, i like to indulge in shameless delusions about Micah falling obsessively in love with me (/the reader) and being absolutely destraught over it because suddenly his whole world view is being turned upside down. Suddenly there's more to life than surviving and fighting, and he has to figure out himself and his values all over again because of a woman he's come to love more than himself. I'd love to hear your take on obsessive love, actually-kinda-wants-the-best-for-you Micah, if you'd like <3

((PS: im so sorry if this is cringe))

Trust me, I do not believe in cringe on this account🙏

As far as obsessive love with Micah goes, I can totally see it; in his own little ways.

He's definitely more subtle about it. Before getting together, you'll literally have no idea at all that he was heavily infatuated with you. He's discreet because you cant be a rough, mean cowboy while being in love and acting like a schoolgirl with her first ever crush.

There's a part of the game where we see him ask Mary-Beth to dance that one time. He's stuttering and nervous; and that's how I imagine he'd be with you at first. It's all so new to him, falling in love, so it's only natural you'll see a more vulnerable, almost scared side of him. Softie Bell, I love you.

He won't be too physical with you outside of intimacy, like he's not a cuddler but if you were to ask him, he'd oblige a few times to keep you happy—because he loves you. Just kind of laying down with you and doing whatever comes to mind; rubbing your back or head slowly. We know he's a heavy insomniac so if you fall asleep, he'll just stare at the tent ceiling and space out, waiting for you. He'll never admit it, but he loves having you in his arms.

He'll show his upmost trust and love for you with things that might seem minuscule to an outside perspective; like letting you handle Baylock or his precious guns which would be a huge sign of trust on his end. He once left his guns in your care for nearly three hours and it was the best thing ever.

He'll definitely handle you more gently—like he does his guns. You're both precious to him, that's for sure. I can see him being too scared to even touch you too roughly or hug you too tightly at first, as if you were made of porcelain or something. Over time, he gets a lot more comfortable as he warms up to the feeling—and after you tell him he can touch you like a normal person would.

God forbid someone tries to even talk to you when he takes you out—immediate threats and many bar fights you witnessed go down in which Micah went ballistic. Most nights out end with you and him at the medicine wagons, both on your own crate as you scold Micah for his temper while you clean his face up. Was it partially just his plan to have you touching him and cleaning him up longer? Maybe.

Just mildly a stalker, by the way. Oh, you're doing chores around camp? Wow, what a coincidence; Micah is in the exact spot where he can watch while not being too obvious about it! Wow, that's a crazy coincidence, surely!

Probably has your whole routine/schedule memorised; he knows when you're doing what chore, and he knows where he has to go to be able to watch. He's a little creep and we love it.

Honorable mention — love language.

His love language is definitely quality time. If he catches you alone somewhere, he'll walk over and do literally anything just to be around your presence. You could be doing chores and he'll just walk over and lean on the nearest tree or wagon to you, take his knife out and start sharpening it. Literally anything to spend time with you at this point. Won't make an effort at smalltalk because he actually enjoys sitting in silence with you, but will occasionally let you yap his ear off when you have something to say. "Mhm..; Oh, yeah?; You don't say?; Wow, yeah?" He'll respond with whatever just to keep you talking to him, loves the sound of your voice.

this was me using the req to my advantage to spit out all the micah content plaguing my brain. pls help he wont pay rent or leave the premises. hell, i'm the one that's obsessed as of now.

In conclusion;

Micah is secretly obsessed with you and will never truly admit it—even if it's goddamn obvious to everybody.

[realive]

was taking to my psychologist yesterday, she asked about if I have the freedom to express myself freely to my mother, I told her yes, I don’t feel afraid to voice my concerns and feelings to her but the way I express them, the way I cope has to be done in a certain way, fit a certain narrative, she responded with then I don’t.

this sat with me, that “a-ha” moment dawned. I never thought or saw of it like that.

i can say I am depressed but I cannot act depressed, I can’t rot in my bed and be empathised. i have to be active while feeling like this.

she never sits down, relaxes, only does so if her body has been hijacked by sickness,

i do that too much, I rest when it’s not needed, im lazy. i get bored. I’m one with the sheets, I merge with them daily. I’m one with my bed. I lounge for far too long, chores are second, my needs are first, im selfish like that.

i hold my feelings in, I express them through doubt and cope. i indulge in hundreds of calories or watch bodies slather in sweat and cum to feel a inch of serotonin. I only cry properly when I drop a vase or loose a insignificant item. i feel anger in my throat and watch it speak volumes when something doesn’t go way, especially when my sister or mother piss me off.

this is a case for many, I know that, we can’t be ourselves with full emote without being judged or criticised. i wish I had something sweet or hopeful to end this paragraph, I’ll think of us hugging each other for now in another life.

i swear I repeat the same antidotes always.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

you stop me at the door

belated gift for @peach-flavored-cyanide im so sorry im late but the 4k words were fighting me for my life 😭😭😭

loveverse setting, so beware of toxic relationships!! lv polymurderous save me..... save me lv polymurderous.....

H is sick.

It started small – a delayed response here, a squinted look there, a clumsy misstep in-between. At first, he insisted it was nothing to worry about, only a fever. By day three, however, the skeleton can’t even lift up his head, wrapped around in blankets as he stays immobile. Ki and Mur can only watch from the doorway, the former’s face blanking and the latter’s mouth thinning into a line.

Ia doesn’t like it when they’re fragile.

She’s next to the bed, hand hovering over H’s forehead, expression unreadable in the deceptively calm shadows spreading across the room. After an agonizingly long silence, she speaks, voice soft.

“It seems I’ll be gone for a while. There are things I need to find, medicines first and foremost.”

Mur doesn’t react, while Ki only gives a perfunctory nod.

“You two will take care of the house,” Ia continues, not looking at the duo at the door. “Clean. Cook. Keep everything in order. I expect everything to be the same once I return.” Their voice echoes, not just in the small box of a room. They lean down, wiping a handkerchief over H’s sweating forehead. “You’ll be better soon. I promise.”

And then, with a flickering of the overhead lights, Ia is gone. The silence they leave behind rings.

-----

Mur startles awake to the sound of knocking on his door.

“wakey-wakey, sunshine,” Ki calls, voice bright and sing-song, muffled through the wood. “we have chores to do today, remember?”

Mur mentally groans as he rolls on his other side, curling into himself. Blearily, he opens his eyes – the sun hasn’t even shone through the cracks of his blinds just yet. Letting out another annoyed huff as another set of knocks ring, he pulls the blanket over his head, as if it can drown out the chirps.

“come on, do you want to clean the kitchen or the bathroom? if you don’t say anything, i’ll pick one out for you.”

Mur doesn’t move or respond. Another knock comes, followed by a soft creak of the door opening. Mur can feel Ki leaning against the foot of his bed, and he resists the urge to kick at Ki as the blanket over him is tugged incessantly. He just wants to stay in bed and not think about the dreaded day ahead, which has become just another day in this house.

“don’t make me assign you chores,” Ki says, with a mock whine in his voice. “you know how i hate being the bad guy.”

Mur doesn’t give the other skeleton anything, not even a perfunctory glare. The message is loud and clear. He drags himself up, finding Ki’s empty sockets unerringly locked on him. Slowly, he starts dressing himself, trying to ignore the other person in the room. It’s not like Ki can see him, and it’s not like they haven’t been unfamiliar with each other. But still, he turns his back on Ki as he clasps his mask on the lower half of his face – he can never get used to having another person so acutely aware of his weaknesses, no matter if they see it or not.

Ki tilts his head once Mur is done, then claps his hand once. “well then, let’s start with breakfast, shall we?”

The kitchen is warm when Ki drags Mur down the stairs. Ki moves between the stove and the counter, hands tracing the edges, humming an upbeat tune under his breath. Mur follows closely behind, carefully looking at all the equipment that he hasn’t talked in a while. He isn’t usually the one doing the cooking in the house, and he isn’t sure if his skills are still passable in the kitchen. He pulls open the fridge to inspect their meager options for today, while Ki leans against a counter nearby, humming something tuneless.

“been a while since you cooked. don’t worry – i’ll be you’re your humble assistant today.”

Mur makes a scoffing sound in his throat, tossing something onto the counter. As if he would trust Ki around the kitchen. He types something on his device.

“go clean the table.”

“fine, fine.” Ki pouts, raising his hands up in a surrendering pose. “no knives needed, i know. but if you need any…” He smirks, sauntering away from the kitchen area to the dining table. Mur gives an unimpressed glare at his back, though he knows Ki wouldn’t see it.

Together, they move around the space, ready for their day ahead. Ki sets the table while Mur cracks some eggs in the pan. They don’t speak, but it doesn’t feel like silence, not with Ki humming in the background and the sizzling sounds filling the kitchen. Somehow, it doesn’t feel that much different from other days, despite the absence of two other regulars in the house.

This, too, is just routine.

-----

Laundry comes afterwards.

They haul the beddings from the washing machine to the backyard. There are blankets, sheets, pillowcases – all from H’s nausea fits the day before. It is sunny outside, but the air is still cool from the nightly spring breeze. Both skeletons wear their only fur-lined jackets as they step out. The clothesline is strung tight across the yard, shadowed by the two trees it is tied to.

Ki pulls out a bundle of blankets, unfolding them in his hands. Mur helps by shaking and puffing them out, holding one corner and clipping it to the line with practiced ease. He doesn’t hear Ki coming close to his space until he feels something tugging at his shoulder.

A thread.

It pulls taut.

He freezes, slowly turning his head around.

Ki is right behind him, one hand hovering near his shoulder. It lingers for too long. Neither of them moves. The sheets billowing lightly in the wind, brushing against Mur’s jacket as he stands there stupefied, his fingers twitching but otherwise not clawing into the fabric he’s holding.

don’t look don’t look at it there’s no tear it’s fine the jacket’s fine-

Then, Ki chuckles softly.

“you have a bug on your jacket.”

Mur doesn’t dare breath. His grip on the blankets in his arms tightens. The jacket feels lighter suddenly, but his arm feels like lead – as if it was falling apart, the tear echoing in his skull. Or is it? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know. Just the idea of it- The phantom loss- But it might be real-

stop panicking it’s fine it’s fine you’re so pathetic right now don’t cry-

Ki doesn’t say anything else. He just grabs another sheet from the basket and moves away from him.

-----

More laundry. Bathroom cleaning. Living room sweeping. By midday, most of the chores are done. The house is cleaner and quieter than before. It doesn’t make it more livable though.

Mur sets the ingredients for lunch on the counter. Dutifully, Ki washes the vegetables and plucks out the spices. His movements are slow but not clumsy. Mur takes out a chopping board and starts slicing.

The rhythm is soothing in a way. Chop, drop, stir, set the heat. Ki is next to him, his presence silent but his voice not. Every now and then, he bumps elbows with Mur as he navigates in the kitchen, just gently. They don’t talk. They don’t need to, their bodies dancing alongside each other in a familiar dance, years of familiarity having etched into both of them. Mur stands at the stove, waiting for the soup to finish as he stirs the pot. Ki hovers over his shoulders as if looking at what he’s doing. The heat from the other’s SOUL burns, but Mur is used to it – might crave it even, no matter how many times he doesn’t want to think so.

(“you’re always cold, aren’t you?”

A small huff of laugh. An ember in the dark of night. Something to hold on.)

When lunch is ready, they sit across each other. Two bowls on the table. A third one set aside, covered, steam rising faintly from under the lid. It is somewhat strange, having the dining table with only two people present. Mur can’t help stiffening his shoulders as he feels Ki patiently wait for him from across the table. With hesitant hands, he unclasps his mask, and the wave of anxiety rises up to him again. Slowly, he puts the mask down next to him with an audible thump. Ki, enigmatic bastard as ever, tilts his head, a measured smile gracing his face, before picking up his own spoon.

They eat in relative silence, which is an odd scene. Usually, Ia is the one prompting conversations during meals, what’s with them being the only times all of them have to get together in one place. It’s just small talk, discussing the weather and news and asking what they are up to lately, as if none of them were stuck living in the same house all the time. Now, the quiet atmosphere is unusual, but not wholly uncomfortable.

(He can almost prefer this to the regular scene.)

When they finish their respective portions, Ki leans back in his seat, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Mur stands up to collect the dishes, but then Ki speaks.

“no, no, i’ll handle the dishes here. you should bring the soldier his rations.”

Mur tilts his head, fully knowing that Ki cannot see him. But they’re too familiar with each other now – Ki’s smile widens as if knowing what Mur is doing, and maybe he does.

“he’d be wondering why it’s not you.” The empty-eyed skeleton gestures at the third bowl on the table. “besides, he likes your cooking better anyway.”

Mur stands there for a moment before giving a curt nod. He picks up the bowl and places it on a tray. Without a word, he walks towards the hallway, faintly hearing Ki turning the water in the sink.  He moves up the stairs, careful not the drop the tray. The walk isn’t long, but it feels like centuries as he nears his destination.

-----

H’s room is dim, curtains drawn tight to keep the light from seeping in. The air is thick with something old and heady. Mur slips in quietly, balancing the tray with both hands as he nudged the door open with his elbow. The bowl of soup steams faintly. A cup of water is placed besides it. He sets it down on the nightstand and pulls the chair close.

H stirs. His eyes open, sluggish but awake enough to track Mur’s movements.

"is it morning already?" he mutters, voice rough and dry. “what do you have for me?”

Mur doesn’t say anything. He picks up the spoon, gives it a gentle stir in the bowl, then lifts it toward H’s mouth.

After a beat, H accepts it gingerly, slurping and chewing slowly. He swallows and exhales. "who’s the chef today? this one might actually be food."

Mur snorts silently, then offers another spoonful.

They fall into an easy rhythm. Spoon, chew, swallow, breathe. H eats more than he has in days, which isn’t saying much. Mur watches him closely, looking for any sign of discomfort or weakness. The silence stretches between them.

"you’re quiet today," H says eventually. Then, after a pause, he adds, "more than usual."

Murder doesn’t respond. His thoughts are louder – more turbulent – than anything he could write down.

After a long moment, H fills the void again. “taking care of me… don’t you have better things to do?”

Mur shakes his head, his fingers lightly trembling as the storm in his mind only grows and grows.

Ia’s gone. Gone. That hasn’t happened in what feels like forever. When was the last time? Months? Years? He never leaves the house. Never leaves them alone. But now? There’s no watching shadow. No low voice echoing through the walls. No prickle of magic on the back of one’s neck.

The door’s still there. Unlocked. Unguarded.

You could leave.

The thought arrives like a tsunami. Ferocious. Unexpected.

Take them. Go.

Another spoonful, another swallow. Mur wipes the corner of H’s mouth with the edge of a napkin. He watches the sick man’s eye droop half-lidded again, exhaustion clear in his body.

Run away, little rabbit. Run.

He pictures it before he can stop himself: the three of them, living somewhere far away from all of this. A rundown house in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and cicadas all night. No shadows. No watchful eyes. Just the sky and the dirt and the sound of Ki humming, bundled in layers, listening to whatever on his music player. H on the porch, grilling something delicious while fanning the smoke away from his eye. Mur sitting on the staircases, watching both of them, finally still.

It’s shameful, how often this fantasy returns.

(Even more shameful is the house on the tropical island – fragments of another broken dream, another broken promise. There is something traitorous about it, something mournful – the dream continues, pieces replaced haphazardly without much input from his own logic. The smoke, the red, the warmth – all replaced like a ship from that one tale.

Red. They’re all red, aren’t they? So easily switched in and out. Is that how interchangeable they all are? Just puzzle pieces to be forced into places. Mur feels disquieted with himself, with his thoughts, with his feelings.)

He’s never told them. He never will.

Because it’s not real. It’s not possible.

Not with Ki. Not with how deep he’s sunk into Ia’s tendrils. Mur doesn’t even know if he could trust him long enough to hold open a door without being crushed by it afterwards.

He thinks of H, of the reluctant, sporadic kindness – the acts that have to be squeezed out of him, the gestures that don’t guarantee safety exactly, only a temporary refuge from this hellhole.

He thinks of Ki, of the wide perma-smile – the one that masks everything, the one that never quite echoes in his fake cheerful voice.

The risk feels like a knife twisting under his ribs.

You cannot really trust anyone.

Mur presses a damp, cool cloth to H’s forehead. The bedbound skeleton flinches but doesn’t move away.

“you smell like soap,” H mumbles, his voice thinning. “you cleaned the house, or just paced out your nerves again?”

Mur shrugs, holding the cloth steady as he wipes down H’s scorching heat. H’s hand reaches out, shaky, fingers brushing the other’s wrist. A thank you. Or something like it. He couldn’t tell, despite how long they have been together. How strange.

Mur brushes a knuckle gently over the edge of H’s blanket, watching his chest rise and fall as the sick monster falls asleep. He looks so frail, so breakable. They all are really.

Then he slips out as quietly as he came in, the voices still murmuring behind his ribs.

-----

Dinner can’t come quickly enough.

Ki is humming again, waiting for Mur to spoon out the portions into mismatched bowls. One for him, one for Ki, and one for H. It’s just some simple porridge tonight, a warm, easy meal for H to swallow in his debilitated state. Mur feels Ki hovering near him, the body heat unmistakable in the evening chill. Ki takes a bowl from him with a grin and a casual brush of fingers against his knuckle.

“i’ll deliver it to the prince this time,” Ki says, smiling wide. “you should clean the mess.” He gestures vaguely towards the direction of the pile of dirty pans on the stove. “don’t want him to think we’re slackers.”

Mur pauses, a half-thought-out plan rapidly running through his mind.

This is the opportunity he needs.

So, he waits.

Waits until Ki’s voice echoes on his way upstairs, his soft and off-key singing filling the silence of the house. Waits until the hum of hot water and clanking dishes masks the shift of his feet on the creaking floorboards. Waits until he distinctly hears the sound of a door opening then closing, Ki’s cheery voice disappearing into the space behind it.

Then, he moves.

Quietly. Quickly. Through the spaces he’s familiar with. The cabinets in the kitchen hold some dry rations, flints, and matches. The cupboard in the living room has a first aid kit that he swipes quickly. The closet near the staircase hides away an old satchel with some gold coins and fake IDs they used to use to go to certain places. Near the hearth, under a particular loose floorboard, lie a Swiss knife and a couple of phone contacts and expired train tickets – stuff he hid months, or years, ago, when he first started thinking about maybe’s.

(Memorabilia of a lost time, a lost opportunity, a lost promise.)

His hands shake, and he’s unsure if it’s from fear or anticipation. He cannot stop now. Not when the taste of escape is so tantalizing on his bitten tongue.

-----

Midnight comes.

Mur lies in bed, eyes wide open, listening to the house breathing its quiet. Slowly, he pushes the blankets off himself and sits up. The old wooden floorboards creak, and he winces, pausing, waiting. When no sound comes, he reaches under the bed, where the packed backpack is.

His feet touch the floor soundlessly as he yanks the bag up. Quickly, he dons his jacket and slides the door open, just a tiny crack. The hallway stretches ahead of him, long and cold. There’s no light but the source of his magic eyelights.

Carefully, he creeps along the hallway – not too fast, not too slow. He doesn’t glance at Ki’s room as he passes it, though he feels the urge tug at him like gravity. Maybe Ki’s eyes are already on his back. Maybe he already knows. But no footsteps follow him, so he continues to trek.

He arrives at H’s door and pauses. Hand against the frame. Fingers hovering over the knob. Listening. Inside there’s only the unsteady rise and fall of a ragged breath.

The door opens under his hand.

He sees H stir and curl further into his bundle of blankets. He must have been sleeping, and Mur almost feels bad for waking him up. He closes the door behind him with an audible click. H’s pale face glows faint in the moonlight through the curtains. One arm is folded across his chest, and the other twitches slightly when Mur comes closer.

Mur doesn’t say anything – it’s not like he can. He crouches beside the bed. Horror looks at him blearily, and blinks. He doesn’t try to sit up. Mur holds one of his hands, absentmindedly tracing the rough fingers. The silence envelops them before H speaks up.

“what are you doing at this time?” His voice is soft, somewhat short-winded. The fever is not doing him any good. Mur has a feeling where this conversation will go, but he can’t just not try.

He points at himself. Then at the door. Then at H. A question. An invitation.

H looks at him. His expression doesn’t shift, or maybe it’s just the darkness that hides it away. “… you’re really stupid,” he says at last. “you know that right?”

Mur would chuckle at that if he could. Instead, he just stares, the bags under his eyes crinkled into an ironic smile.

H shakes his head, the movement slow and tired. “they’ll find you. you’ll never be far enough. you’ll never outrun them.”

Mur taps his fingers against H’s knuckle, once, twice, then three times. The rhythm is hypnotic, soothing to his brain. He doesn’t refute H’s statement, just hanging his head low, sensing the gaze on the back of his neck.

Then, a softer yet more crushing reply follows. “i can’t go with you.”

Mur stays kneeling by the bed. He doesn't flinch, doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe. The silence is too big for the room. H’s fingers brush his shaky hand. They’re warm, clammy.

“i’m sorry,” he says, even though it doesn’t sound like an apology.

Mur squeezes his eyes shut.

And for a second, he’s there in the dream. Where there’s a little house, with chickens running around all day. Where they all share the household chores, bickering over who gets to do what. Where Mur will fall asleep in some unconventional place, lulled by the seaside winds and cicada calls.

But then he opens his eyes.

It’s still this dark room. It’s still this house – too big, too small, too quiet, too loud. Never right.

He stays stuck on the floor. If he leaves, he’ll have to abandon them. What does it say about him, someone who has never claimed to love?

(Never. Never again.

He’ll never love again.)

Shakily, he clasps H’s hand in both of his own and brings it to his forehead, like a silent apology – a wordless prayer from the before-times, a habit he cannot seem to break. H doesn’t say anything, the air of regret and reverence blanketing over them.

Eventually, Mur stands up. H watches him leave without a word.

There is nothing more to say.

-----

Mur creeps softly down the hallway, bag slung low on his shoulder. The air is cold even through his jacket. The darkness is almost reassuring, as if the house didn’t realize a piece of it is missing just yet.

He reaches for the lock.

“late walk?”

A voice echoes from the side.

Mur freezes.

Ki sits on the bench by the shoe rack, legs drawn up as he rests his cheek on his knees. He doesn’t turn towards Mur – his eyes can’t follow, but he doesn’t need to see. The eye sockets are dripping black again, staining the already cracked bones. Ki never needs eyes to know what happens, as if the house told him – as if he had become part of it. As if he could sense the air shifted the moment Mur stepped out of bed.

But Ki doesn’t move to stop him. Instead, he just hums.

“you could’ve waited until morning. little rude to sneak off without saying anything.”

There is no accusatory tone in his voice. But Mur doesn’t dare move.

Ki yawns. “i mean, i’m not judging. it’s just a bit cold, is all. not a very nice time to go on a walk.” He shrugs. “but you know what they say: fresh air is good for you.”

Mur turns slightly. Enough to half-face the other skeleton.

Ki smiles to no one. “just… if you go, remember the second fence post leans right. you’ll trip if you’re not careful.” After a beat, he continues, his smile wobbling imperceptibly at the corner. “and, remember to bring back the detergent. we’re running low by the way.”

Mur’s grip on the door handle eases. Just a little.

Ki stands up slowly, stretching his arms with a quiet groan. “mm... anyway, i’m heading to the kitchen. figured i’ll make some tea. If you want some when you get back, just say so.”

He walks past Mur, his shoulder brushing lightly against the other’s as he disappears into the kitchen.

No resistance. No force.

Just that unbearable familiarity. That ghost of warmth.

Mur doesn’t answer. He just stands there, staring at Ki’s back, the door forgotten.

One beat. Then two. Then three.

His hand lowers from the handle. He shakes off his boots and puts them back on the shoe rack.

The door stays closed behind him.

-----

Mur is already awake when the front door creaks open at the crack of dawn.

He’s sitting on the couch, his jacket in his lap. His bag is gone. So are the matches, the maps, the little notes he scrawled for himself in the dark.

“I’m home.”

Mur doesn’t look up.

Footsteps approach, then stop just behind the couch.

“I brought back what Horror needs.” The voice is warm. “He’ll be fine soon.”

Mur nods once, the motion small, almost mechanical.

Ia moves to the kitchen. Ki appears a moment later, like a dog greeting its master, soft-footed and cheery-voiced, like nothing happened. He reaches out and clasps Mur’s shoulder with a brief and familiar squeeze.

“you did good,” he murmurs, like he means it.

Mur says nothing. He just stares ahead.

There is nothing more to say.

[kanaglows]

Hello sisnaoakaoiakwiqoaiaiauqiak I just saw your post today and im really excited since I havent seen much posts regarding pjsk x reader stuff. That out of the way, can I request for pjsk boys as your husband (seperated) or them as college boys? Disjisjsusisuauqhq that's all and I hope my request isn't weird or anything 🥲🥲

eeee first request, thanks for requesting me iuhjwsbdah i went with the husband thingy if that's alright with you, feel free to send another request if you still want the college boy thing, anon ☺️ also, i apologise if me and my writing feel a bit dry, i tend to feel a bit tense on the first few requests but i'll loosen up soon hjusdfj

style: bullets/hcs

notes: gender-neutral reader

Project Sekai Boys As Your Husband (Separate)

Tsukasa Tenma

He affectionately calls you nicknames like his co-star and his starlight

While he's busy during the day rehearsing for his shows, your job allows you to have more time for housework so you do chores around the house a lot. He feels guilty about not having a lot of time to do stuff so as soon as he gets home he immerses himself in chores to make up for it 😭

He frequently takes you out because he feels even worse about not spending more time with you throughout the day

On weekends, you have a special little tradition where you watch musicals together (sometimes bootlegs because musicals can cost a lot to watch online 😕)

He's totally smitten by you and often wonders how he was able to get such a great catch

Rui Kamishiro

You two are partners in crime. That said, you don't go too far with the crazy ideas.

As much as you love how creative he can be, you have to remind Rui not to blow up the house and bother the neighbours with explosions.

You have mini prank wars all the time, the winner is often decided by who pulls the most impressive ones

There's a lot more to Rui than pranks and explosions! If you're having a bad day, he always whips something up in his workshop to cheer you up. You'd be surprised how little time he needs to make something if he applies himself.

Rui can struggle with ideas but just spending time with you is enough to fill his head with tons of them

Akito Shinonome

You can be irritating but he loves you a lot ☺️

Karaoke is a frequent thing for the two of you, Akito doesn't like to say it out loud but he loves your singing voice and that's why he suggests karaoke so much.

He gets a bit embarrassing expressing his feelings through words but that doesn't mean he loves you any less, he does his best to show his affection through actions.

Akito's protective but not possessive. When you go out he will ask you where you're going but solely out of safety concerns- he trusts you and would never suspect you of anything wrong.

Toya Aoyagi

He's literally so sweet 😭If anything's up he'll go through any obstacle to help, his father didn't support him much in his childhood so he's decided to support his loved ones much better than his father could ever support him.

Toya's a dry texter, if you text him anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, he will somehow find a way to respond in the most monotone way ever. It's not intentional but you find it hilarious when he responds to a meme with a simple "haha".

Mornings are peaceful. Usually, the two of you just sit in the kitchen in your PJs together drinking coffee in silence.

He's an awful cook but he tries his best. In an attempt to help him out, you cook with him and give him some tips. Your help is beneficial but that doesn't mean that it won't always end in disaster. After training him for a while, Toya was trusted with the duty of making dinner. He decided to make Thai green curry with noodles however, when he realised that you were out of noodles and coconut milk he substituted them with spaghetti and cow milk. Havoc embarked and later that night, you were served a dire bowl of spaghetti in milk. You couldn't touch the meal and ordered takeaway pizza for the two of you instead 😭

[returnofeternity]

re: your post abt Shauna with a partner who dances — as a recreational pole dancer there’s so much potential there. I like to imagine my crushes seeing videos of me dancing & going insane over them 😌.

that sounds cool :O ngl, it's embarrassing but it's like my number 2 passion ever, but i got into dancing after i got into kpop lmfaoo. i just think the chores are freaking awesomesauce and it's something i could see myself doing as a career bc im good at it!!! honestly, ive always been into dancing; i would fuck up a game of just dance/dance central when i was younger....

makes me think about how shauna would ragequit if you ever made her play because she sucks so bad and she's not getting any points 😭 she says it's because you're "showing off" but you're literally just doing it normally -__- you even switch sides because she said that the kinect wasn't picking her up, but she still sucks butt. you like cheering her on doing solo rounds though!!! the dancer in you wants to critique her awkward movements so bad but you find them adorable... you always tell her that she got 1000000 points in your heart.

she'll never admit it, but she likes it when you use her in dance practices. maybe you need her as a stand-in, and she grumbles while you teach her the choreography because it takes so long for her to grasp it. she loves it when you hug her from behind and hold her arms as you show her how to move them properly, and she flushes as you mumble "1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and" into her ear as you manhandle her basically.

wholeeee buncha dance room fuck sessions that definitely involve taking her against the mirror 🫣

she gets so proud and insanely turned on when you send her videos of you practicing. usually replies with grammatical errors because she's typing with one hand 😁 she ALWAYS compliments your skills and loves to see you perform!! i think she'd be the type to respond to hate comments in her free time if you upload videos to youtube or whatever lmfao. you got like nearly 100+ notifs on one video and when you went to see what was happening, it was literally just shauna arguing with this one commenter 😭

[ditzydoodiary]

autistic ramble about twilight sparkle because i love her sm and shes my fave autistic comfort character !!!

this took a really long time to make, and im really proud of it, so any reblogs/reshares would be appreciated ! especially if you like mlp !!

when people say she isnt autistic, i always find myself very surprised. i think to myself, have these people even watched the show??because yes, while the writers and lauren faust may not have intended for her to be explicitly autistic, she is very clearly portrayed that way, intentional or not. not to mention that lauren faust (creator of friendship is magic) has recently responded to a tweet saying that she thought pinkie pie being adhd was obvious; lauren faust has adhd herself, so its not surprising that so many of the mlp fim characters also posess many of the same traits as her. and i also raise the question; if she thought pinkie pie was obvious as having adhd, then why would twilight be any different?? she is very clearly autistic, but i dont think twilight's obvious neurodivergence has been addressed by lauren yet (unless im wrong of course, but i just haven't found anything about it when ive searched for it).

anywho, to list just a few of twilight's autistic traits:

- trouble socialising and making friends (this is literally the main plot point of the first few seasons and is even still present in the later seasons, so its not like this was just a one time thing). an example of this would be in the very first episode when twinkleshine, lemon hearts, and minuette invite her to moondancer's party; she awkwardly declines, saying that she needs to catch up on her studying instead. to this the other ponies say, "ugh, does that pony do anything except study? i think shes more interested in books than friends"

- she has a very obvious special interest in reading, books, research, and the study of pony magic. she indulges in these interests to such a level where she often loses track of time and stays awake all night, and often misses out on opportunities to socialise with her friends. when she cant indulge in them, she gets upset. this ties into finding comfort in routines, too.

- taking things literally (e.g: that part in "look before you sleep" where she takes rarity's statement about them getting warmer in regards to playing a game literally). look before you sleep is also a great episode showing her need to have everything planned out; in this episode, twilight has her first slumber party, and uses a slumber party planning book as a guide. she thinks has to follow every single instruction in the exact same order, and when rarity and applejack dont oblige, she gets upset.

- HEAVILY relies on schedules and planning. she utilises all kinds of lists; visual lists, written lists, checklists, etc. when she's unable to stick to her routines/plans, she becomes irrationally upset and/or angry, lashes out at other people and can have meltdowns. this is again shown all throughout the show, but is more prominent in the episode "lesson zero".

- LOVES organising, lining things up, and finding visual patterns in all sorts of things. she'll often just do this for fun and as a way to calm down, while others might find this more of a chore. i suppose this can be done as a form of visual stimming? I don't really know what this is called; but i know a lot of autistic people do it. i suppose this could also tie into needing routines and structure, as organising things can help autistic people feel more in control and can provide a sense of stability.

- she can often come off as insensitive or rude without meaning to, and sometimes she struggles with tone as well as being quite blunt. this is most likely due to her misunderstanding or being unable to read typical social cues. this could also perhaps be linked to low empathy, which is something a fair few individuals on the spectrum experience. this is especially true in the earlier seasons, but still shown in the later seasons as well.

- twilight also struggles with regulating her emotions and having meltdowns; this is typically the result of her needs not being properly met and her routines being changed. and when she's not having full blown meltdowns, she can at least be seen being snappy towards her friends when overwhelmed.

- stimming !!! oh boy does she stim a lot. stomping her hooves, jumping up and down, PACING (this is a big one), teleporting spontaneously when overwhelmed, flapping her wings, etc. in fact, twilight once paced so hard for so long that she made a groove in the floor without even realising !! (this was seen in the episode "its about time" - which is also a good episode that showcases her autistic traits)

- shes also sometimes shown struggling with overstimulation; in the third episode of the series, "the ticket master", twilight gets overwhelmed by her friends crowding around her and loudly shouting, resulting in her running off and snapping at them.

- shes often shown struggling with generalised anxiety, which is another common trait of autism.

and the best part is, this is obviously a common occurrence, and her friends fully support her through her struggles !!! her meltdowns, overthinking and anxiety are so frequent, that her friends know exactly what to do and how to help her.

obviously, this isn't every trait, this is just all the surface level stuff !!

i would have included more video and photo examples, but tumblr has a limit on how many you can add to a post :( i hope i still got my point across despite that !!

all in all, i think she's wonderful autistic representation !! even if this wasn't intentional, i still think it's great and love the way her personality and traits were portrayed. the main character of a children's show possessing these traits is awesome and something you don't see too often !! i hope lauren or at least someone on the production team talks about this, because it means a lot to myself and many other autistic people who love mlp <3

[swmmi-kti]

Regrettably

Pairing: Kyojuro x GN Reader.

Warnings: Angst, This all is in Shinjuro's perspective.

Shinjuro had experienced pain when Ruka died. He often found himself praying that he would never feel that pain again. And as cowardly as he became he could often find himself praying that his kids would be okay. 

He would never admit it but when you Married Kyojuro he couldn’t help but feel happy for his eldest son. He watched in the sidelines as you two would take care of the house. How you were the opposite of his son. Reserved, quiet and yet the perfect partner to Kyojuro. 

In a way you did remind him of Ruka. He guessed that's why he wasn’t as harsh as he could have been with his sons. 

Nevertheless he cared deeply about his family, and that included you. Regrettably he never got to show it. 

He listened to Senjuro and yourself bidding Kyojuro goodbye. Wishing him well and blessing him for his mission. Listening to you asking Senjuro to go ahead and do as he wished that you’d take care of the house chores for today. 

He listened to the elated laughter of his youngest son, Thanking you profusely as he ran off to his room no doubt. He knew in his spare time that he rarely had Senjuro loved to paint. 

He knew how happy he always was when he was done with one painting. Stashing it away somewhere only he would know. He could hear how he took out the painting no doubt he had been working on for over a few months. Wondering to himself what it was. 

Oftentimes he would beat himself over the fact that he should get out of this room and train the boy. But he never could. Biting back the emptiness of his heart. 

Aside from sitting in his room drinking away the dull pain that he had grown to live with, he got to hear everything that went on in the house and out. Hearing you come in getting ready to prepare food for the two other Rengoku’s in the house and yourself

This was routine now ever since you married into the family. Sometimes you would allow Senjuro to help and others you sent him off to be a kid. And really he would have liked to thank you for it. 

And nights where Kyojuro was here and you two would be awake into the ungodly times at night on days where he didn't need to patrol. He would hear how you often prayed over him. 

How you no doubt would grow so worried about him. How thankful you were that he had returned to you safe although injured. And he would hear how his son would reply to you in kind. Asking you to not worry about him to please just take care of Senjuro in the moment where he needed comfort the most. 

How cowardly he was to not be able to provide that. He wanted to. In a way he wanted too. But the bitterness that came with losing a loved one. The anger that came with not being able to do anything against something so natural like a sickness. It ate away at his reasoning. 

Unknownst to anyone If a demon ever decided to show their face here while Kyojuro wasn’t here he knew he would do anything in his power to provide the little bit of happiness that those two had. And it was to protect you. 

If for anything to keep them happy when he could do nothing. 

“Otousan” You greeted and he did not turn to look at you. He knew this routine too well. You would give the same talk of preparing his meal and ask about his day only for him not to respond before you left his plate and sake and left to tend to Senjuro. 

“I’ve made your meal. Please enjoy and eat while its still hot” He didn’t need to look at you to know you bowed at him waiting for his response that he would never give. “I do hope your day has been good Otousan! I Finished all the house chores today” 

You continued to talk as he sat up now. Still looking out into the yard. What a beautiful day and what a sour cold feeling he always got from it. 

“Kyojuro should return within a few days! But im sure you heard him! I’ll go now i leave you your sake as always” You spoke, leaving the plate and his sake close to him before you left. 

If Kyojuro were any more of a man he would have bore him his first grandchild. Oftentimes he would think about what that would entail. How would he change? Would he change at all? 

Truth be told he found it astounding that he had married at all. He knew how his son often rejected many, many proposals. So he never thought they would see the day he married. He would have liked for Ruka to have been there for it. But he has learned not everything goes as you wish. 

This was the routine for those days. You would either work on chores yourself or you would have Senjuro help. Today he has spoken to you. Now he did speak to you but only ever asking the simplest of things or yelling at you for doing something wrong. However in some way you had mellowed him out.

Perhaps out of respect? He couldn’t quite know. He just knew he didn’t want you to hate him. To possibly drive his family away. He knew he shouldn’t doubt your place here, You treated him with respect and well he didn’t berate you. 

He would have liked to ask about any news you may know about Kyojuro but he was too prideful. Now he found himself regretting a lot of things. And when Kyojuro’s crow came bearing the bad news he would know what his biggest regret was. 

You had been outside. Today, Senjuro help with the laundry while you took care of tidying up. He had gotten up from his stoop and went to check on how things were going. He noticed how you looked at the Crow on the floor. How your sweeping has stopped as You listened to the news that would either break you or him. 

But he didn’t need to be close to know what news would be spoken. He wasn’t stupid. He saw how you let go of the broom. Your hand over your mouth as you let yourself drop to the floor. 

He was heart broken. But he would never be able to admit that to himself. Seeing you on the floor. Crying but pulling yourself together. It broke his heart. Is this the pain he often put Ruka through? Did she cry like this when he left for his long missions? 

How cruel of a life that was. To love someone unconditionally that you would never wish to harm them unknowingly putting them through torture as you made them worry if you would live to see your young children another day. 

But he knew Ruka and yourself have agreed to this. But its cruel to have this fate. Having just been married, having just found happiness, only for it to be ripped away from you so quickly . 

He did the only thing that would help his aching heart. He locked himself away and drank. 

He didn’t want to hear Senjuro’s sobs. Didn’t want to hear you comfort Senjuro to be strong. He didn’t want to see how you had to pull yourself together for the sake of Senjuro. Whipping away at his tears no doubt. 

He just sat there stone cold as he looked out into the sky. 

How weak. 

The knock was expected as was you coming in to share the news. He spoke as he had for the past years. Berating him how weak he was, how much of a disappointment it was to the Rengoku name. 

How he was weak. 

And you just bit back your tongue. He knew why. He knew that pain of losing a loved one. Losing your twin flame. But he was not good at comfort. So what was to be expected of him? He was not good at this. 

So within those few hours to days to a weeks the new routine began. You would wake early. Prepare food for the boys and yourself clean the house spotless but never dare touch Kyojuro’s stuff. You would not show yourself in the room with him any more. You would prepare his food but let Senjuro deliver it to him. 

The quietness was new but it wasn’t something he didn't welcome coldly. 

That is until Tanjiro came by. Delivering the last message his eldest gave to all. He didn’t wish to listen to what he said to you two. It wasn’t his place to know. However when Senjuro came to him about his last message he expected to get some remarks about his attitude about his behavior and when none of it came and Senjuro left 

He allowed himself to cry. 

How cruel it was to watch such a young love bloom and to watch it be ripped away so quickly. How evil can the world be to not allow you two the happiness he wished he had with his late wife. 

He wept until he couldn’t crying for his son and what love was lost. But as quickly as it happened he let himself be a man for once. No longer would he allow you to be strong. It would be his turn to be a man. To pick up what little is left of his family. 

After writing to Tanjiro to apologize for how he treated him. He left his room to prepare food for you two. Senjuro often cleaned the house spot clean while you stayed in your room. No doubt crying and handling yourself how you could away from the prying eyes of the house. 

He would be what he could be to the remaining family. Regrettably it was the family Kyojuro would not have. His only wish is that you’d be stronger than he ever could be and that if the world was kinder. Than you and Kyojuro could find your happiness in a not so distant future.