#if i see any of yall reblogging him again its on site

[greenbloods]

🕸 waifnumber17 Follow

she let me hit becuause behind my whimsy there is this Sorrow

[this post was made by an adherent of the great council of 101!!! DNI if you adhere to andal succession law]

🌻 littlelordroses Follow

omggg my fields have been absolutely THRIVING since the tyrells have brought comfort and prosperity to the capital. feel so proud to be a reachman. thank youuuu @ mace_the_ace

🦁 hearmerawr Follow

mace tyrell is a separatist and a cryptofascist btw

🌻 littlelordroses Follow

umm could you provide some sources for this?

🥖 heelobread Follow

LANNISTAN GLOWIE SEETHING RN

🏵 ofthegreenlands Follow

lolol thats def cersei isnt it

🦁 hearmerawr Follow

it’s not my job to educate you

❄ whorefrost Follow

ok this is a long shot but if any of you are in the area around the godseye i lost my raven Moonwing yesterday and i was wondering if any of you might have seen him. he was pacing around my room two nights ago mumbling things like 'snow' and 'king' and 'hardhome'. my brother likes to play pranks on me so i thought it was just one of his games but when i woke up my raven was gone. i miss him a lot so i wanted to reach out to see if any of you might have seen him

🌙 moonglowinherhair Follow

heyy im in the godseye area too (im from Crofter's Fall if youve heard of it) but i was wondering if you have any more information about your bird? theres a lot of ravens around these parts haha

❄ whorefrost Follow

hes black

🌙 moonglowinherhair Follow

anything else?

❄ whorefrost Follow

he bites me a lot

⚔️ swordcrosseryaoi Follow

streets are saying sansa poisoned joffrey and took off from kings landing on leathery bat wings to go to the wall you go girl!! starks stay winning

fireandboob Follow

oh my fucking none of these people care about you. a stark brigade literally plundered my whole village!! can we not do this again i hate this goddamn site

🍏 fossobabe Follow

does anyone know if we have tomorrow tomorrow

🍁 plummpudding Follow

for man, perhaps. but for a tree, time is different. a river roiling back and forth, both here and there, but inconstant--always inconstant. a thousand years are but a mere moment through the eyes of a heart tree

📿 sparrowsbones-777-deactivated2990707 Follow

yeah go pray to your rivers northoid. and when the shaman comes to tear your heart out and sacrifice it to your trees, maybe spare a thought for the Seven and their divine might. we'll be waiting.

🍁 plummpudding Follow

254.421.81.132

❄ whorefrost Follow

yooo thats near where i live! if you see a raven flying near your house, could you dm me?

⛓ rhllorbot Follow

The night is dark and full of terrors.

[Beep-boop! I look for heathens and non-believers. Sometimes I mess up.]

🐗 bobby-b-bot Follow

IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR KING??

🐀 askmeaboutmylengtheory Follow

every time i scroll past this post i have to reblog

🦀 crackedclaw Follow

hey can i ask you about your leng theory?

🐀 askmeaboutmylengtheory Follow

No.

🍏 fossobabe Follow

what the hell happened to my post

🗝 adropofdragonblood Follow

alright we're solving this once and for all

🧀 bloodncheesewasan1n51d3j0b Follow

op you coward wheres stannis

🗝 adropofdragonblood Follow

many have been asking the same question

🕯glasscandle-was-taken Follow

ok i know i shouldnt be surprised bcz its popular on this site to bandwagon onto the next popular thing but just a reminder that if youre supporting the conquests of daenerys targaryen youre supporting a literal colonizer and imperialist. plus slavery is literally a unique and traditional part of ghiscari culture so we cant be surprised that people over there dont like her. begging yall to pick up a scroll once in a while

🍷adornishred Follow

K

👁️ eye-motif Follow

U

⛈ pisswaterprincess Follow

N

🩸 blood-motif394 Follow

what if we were both locked in the formless dark void of the dungeon together, bereft of our own names and our own identities, bereft of everything that made us who we were. and we were both boys

🐒 littlestvalyrian Follow

haha that would be pretty epic i think

[rookiesbookies]

Oh my God, if you wrote more sex doll!141 I would be thrilled. It's such a good concept and you've executed it wonderfully!! (Personally I'm partial to simon but if you wrote any of the other characters I would still eat it up).

-🦝

So I’m going to be honest, Simon is a very difficult character for me to right in intimate situations because of how his character is structured. It’s one of the reasons I have trouble flushing out how I write him and why he may be much more varying than my other boys when I write them fic to fic. He’s truthfully the hardest character for me to right and he’s the one I know the most about so I hope this is good.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, check out my AU list for more like this. Don’t forget to leave me a comment (i always try to respond) or a request in my inbox (i also try to respond to these when I can), a reblog, or even just a like to let me know what yall want to see!

I gift you, Sex Doll!Simon and his loser!reader as a gift. As always, under the cut.

A doll and his loser 2, electric boogaloo.

When Simon’s lady had ordered him, she had also been drunk. She was ovulating, feeling sorry for herself, and incredibly horny when the ad on whatever porn site she was on popped up for the sex dolls. So she scrolled through the options, noticing the ‘Johnny’ Doll was sold out, but it didn’t matter, one had caught her eye immediately. The doll style they had named ‘Simon’. His mask made her run wild. She noticed how the pants clung to his thighs and wide shoulders and it made her mouth water. She couldn’t even remember what she ordered the next morning between headaches and vomiting but she just assumed it was something she forgot and paid off that credit card charge.

It was days later when the box arrived.

“Big ole box you got there,” her neighbor teased, “need help getting it in, little lady?”

She huffed, she had been trying to push it in for about 20 minutes. “Please,” she whined.

Her neighbor helped get the probably 200 pound package into her room. The box was all scratched, fragile stickers torn. She thanked her neighbor and ushered him out as she began to open the weird box.

The language seemed made up, but she didn’t expect to get the box open and a giant Ken doll to fall on her with a loud thud as the two hit her floor.

“You’re a big bitch,” she groaned as she shoved the doll off her. His eyes fluttered open and she watched him curiously. “Hi.”

She was met with silence. He seemed mute, like his mouth was stuck shut.

Confused and slightly disappointed, she stared down at the doll lying on her floor.

She had expected an interactive experience, a companion that would fulfill her desires, but all she had in front of her was a lifeless figure. Frustration began to well up within her, fueled by the lingering effects of her hangover.She had gotten wasted the night before again.

Frustrated, she decided to give the doll a chance. After all, she had spent a considerable amount of money on it, and maybe there was a way to activate its features. She carefully inspected the doll, running her hands over its smooth, artificial skin and marveling at the intricate details. But no matter how hard she looked, there didn't seem to be any buttons or switches that would bring it to life.

Determined to find a solution, she grabbed her laptop and searched for the website where she had made the purchase. But it was as if the site never existed. It wasn’t in her search history, it wasn’t in her purchase history, she couldn’t even find a number on the box.

Frustration turned to confusion as she scrolled through her browsing history, desperately trying to find any trace of the website that had led her to this mysterious doll. It was as if the entire transaction had been erased from existence.

Feeling a mixture of unease and curiosity, she decided to take matters into her own hands. With the doll still lying motionless on the floor, she sat down next to it and began examining every inch of its body. Perhaps there was some hidden mechanism, some secret activation method that she had missed.

Then she saw the icon on the box between the gibberish writing, something about the lips.

She crouched down and tenderly pressed her lips against the cool, skin textured rubber of the cheek of the robot. In response, his previously stiff body began to move and his facial features softened into a look of happiness.

A surge of excitement coursed through her veins as she realized that there was more to this doll than met the eye. She had stumbled upon something extraordinary, something beyond her wildest dreams. Her hangover instantly forgotten, she eagerly awaited what would happen next.

Slowly but surely, the doll began to move. Its previously inanimate limbs twitched and flexed as if awakening from a deep slumber.

“Hi,” she said softly, running her hand over the mask.

He flipped his mask up over his lips and quickly kissed her passionately.

She let out a squeak as he climbed on top of her.

“So pent up,” he mumbled, kissing down her neck as she giggled. His hands roaming free. “So stiff, I could use a good stretch, love. And it seems based on your purchase of me, you could too.” He said with a teasing tone before pulling off her pants she wore to work.

He began to eat her through her panties, but it was more lip locking with her lower set. He moved her panties to the side and continued his make out session with her labia. His teeth occasionally gently pulling on them. He took his sweet time getting her wet before he did any more. He spit on her then dug in.

Messy, his face covered in her natural lube, mask rubbing against her clit.

She sat there like this for a while but she got too loud so he stretched his long arm so his palm stretched over her mouth, thumb rubbing her cheek as he continued. Her eyes rolling back as he edged her slowly. One, then two, then three times. Her body convulsing as he finally lifted himself, she let out a whine and he shushed her before freeing himself from his jeans.

He got real close to his ear. “How badly.” He commanded.

She whined out pitifully as a plea.

“Good.” He said, throwing a leg over his shoulder before sliding in and thrusting. A fast pace in, a roll of the hips, and slow pull out. He held this pace for so long she began to feel like the sex doll. It was brutal in the most wonderful way.

Toe curling.

Ball smacking.

Pussy dripping.

Best sex of her life.

Her cervix thoroughly bullied.

Her moans muffled and covered by his rough palm.

Her rug covered in sweat, her flooring under it glistening with heat.

When he finally let her come it was like reaching the peak of Everest. She gasped and whined and moaned, almost screamed into his palm. He fucked her through it and came not long after from her body milking his cock.

He removed his hand and cock making her whine, returning his mouth to her cunt to make out with it again.

He cleaned her of his cum before picking her up and running a bath.

“Worth every penny.” Was all her mushed brain could muster.

[insertqueerpunhere]

Wilson really is just gonna straight up kill someone some day huh.

[george-fabian-weasley]

the mad hatter — g. w. (chapter 4)

Summary: Due to your direct relations with George Weasley, you were prohibited from leading the case anymore. But you were given a chance to interrogate him, and the tension between the married couple thickens. 

Words: 2,861 words

Warnings ⚠: TW murder, TW blood, TW injuries, angst, thriller, husband!george, sadistic!george, fem!reader, arguments, mentions of sadism

Disclaimer: hey yall <3 welcome back to another chapter of ‘syaf simping for sadistic george!’, I haven’t been able to be active in this site because of work, so I’m really sorry! I’m making it up for yall though, I have some fics ready in no time so wait for it! Reblogs and Comments are highly Appreciated! Enjoy!

the mad hatter masterlist!

masterlist! | general taglist! | buy me a coffee!

“... What do you mean?” Your voice was slow, yet it was menacing. “You heard me,” He said, sighing. “So you’re saying I can’t have this case anymore?” Your tone was quivering, trying your hardest to control your anger. The man in front of you, Remus Lupin is the A. D. A of the case. He’s going to be the one to put The Mad Hatter— no, George Weasley to jail.

But he’s pulling on your strings at the moment. Tightly.

“It’s inevitable, Y/N—” “Bullshit!” You slammed your hands on your desk, the pain of your palms didn’t sting, the adrenaline coursing through your veins were much stronger. You’re now breathing through your mouth, huffing slowly like a predator towards its prey. You’re angry, very angry. 

He’s telling you to back off from your own case. 

“You recommended me for this case to the higher ups. And now you want to take it back?” You scoffed, glaring at Remus with the deadliest look you can muster, “Who the fuck do you think you are?” 

“This is my case. I’ve spent a month of my time and my co-workers’ time investigating this prick,” You spat, huffing a cynical smile, “You have no right to take away this case from me.”

“As this case’s attorney, I actually do, in fact, have the right to take this case away from you, Weasley,” Remus spat out as venomously, “Need I remind you that prick is your own husband. You have direct relations to the suspect, therefore you are now ineligible to either investigate him or take any part of this case.”

You two were in your office at the headquarters, door closed shut yet everyone dares not to knock on the room containing two wolves. 

“I don’t bloody care that he’s my husband, he’s a mass murderer and should be treated as such, therefore your reasoning to kick me out of this case is utter bollocks!” 

“You’re a fucking witness now, Y/N! You’re his wife!” Remus finally matched the tone of your voice, the veins bulging on his neck showed the severe control he had on himself to not explode. He sighed heavily, slightly massaging his temples, “How do I make this clear so you can understand, Y/N,” He muttered loud enough for you to hear, before looking at you straight to the eye.

“You have feelings for your suspect. You married him for seven bloody years so don’t give me that bullshit that it doesn’t matter and you won’t get emotional in that room!” He shouted, hand flinging to the direction of the investigation room, where George was waiting. 

Patiently.

“You know this would happen the moment you put him in cuffs. You know already. What do you even want to ask him anyway?” Remus’s tone deflated as his shoulders dropped. You clenched your jaw, hard enough to feel the veins at your temple to bulge. Remus was right, what do you even want to ask him anyway? Why would he do this to you? Why would he lie to you? Why would he play you like this?

Does he even love you?

‘Get a grip on yourself, woman. He’s no longer your husband, he’s The Mad Hatter,’ the voice in your head sternly said, snapping you out from your train of thoughts. You took a deep breath, calming down your temper as you spoke, “I want to ask him why would he target former sexual assaulters, and record himself talking about them.”

Remus shrugged his eyebrows, “Good questions indeed, but what makes you think he’s going to tell you?” 

You huffed a smirk, “What makes you think he won’t? I’m his wife, like you said and the mother of his child. I have the leverage that he doesn’t,” You said, feeling your confidence coming back and your professionalism finally resurfacing after what seems like hours of self-wallowing of ‘where did it all go wrong?’

Remus mirrored your smirk, “He fooled you blind for 7 years. What makes you think he won’t try again for the next 30 minutes?” He questioned, and you nonchalantly shrugged with a lazy smile on your lips, “Guess you just have to sit back and watch me do my job.”

The smile on your lips vanished, your grim expression had slightly intimidated Remus, “Let me in that room, and I’ll get him to confess that he’s The Mad Hatter.”

---

He knew you would come.

George smiled as he watched you walk in the room with the case’s file. “I knew you would come,” he watched as you slightly froze at his voice, before a hard look settled on your face, “Yeah, well, I need answers.”

George painted a small smile on his lips, “I’ll try my best to answer you then, my love.” “Don’t call me that.”  He tilted his head  to you,not quiet catching what you said, “Hm?”

You couldn’t look at him in the eye before, but now you’re standing in front of him, hands placed on the glass table, your fiery gaze straight into his somber ones, “Don’t call me ‘my love’. Or Darling, or Love, or anything. You call me Chief Detective, you hear me?” Your voice was low and dangerous, yet George only smiled at your attempt of intimidating him.

“Now why should I do that?” He asked, and you gave him a cynical smile as you sat across him, “You have no reason not to.”

“Why, haven’t you changed,” George muttered slowly, a smile on his lips. You looked different, and he likes it. Not that he doesn’t like you before, but this version of you; it impressed him. 

It excites him.

“Listen, Weasley,” You leaned forward, glancing at the shackles that held George’s hand on the table, “You’re in my house now. So you better start talking before I force words out of that deceitful mouth,” You said slowly, looking at him straight in the eye, smirking in amusement at his lack of fear.

“How funny,” He leaned forward as well, slightly shaking his cuffed hands to hear the rattle of the iron, a playful smile on his lips, “Was I not in your house this whole entire time?” His smirk widened at the clenched jaw you did, amused at how easy he had you wrapped around his finger.

“Keep talking like that and I’ll have your tongue strangling your own neck,” You spat, leaning back on the chair to get away from him for a moment. The man in front of you isn’t the George you knew. It’s not the real George. Or, it is the real George, only he fooled you all this time.

Only thinking about it made your heart boil.

George chuckled coldly, his chuckles echoed through the room. “I’d love to see you try,” His voice was delightful, yet there was something poisonous about it as he smiled at you, “I want to share that thrill with my wife too.”

“The thrill of what?” You asked, and George chuckled again, “Now, my love, you know I’m not as gullible as you think I am to fall for that. Nice try, though,” he winked. You sighed, getting irritated by his play of words, “Let’s cut off the bullshit now, shall we? Let’s start the investigation.”

He shrugged, “I gave you my word. Let’s start then.”

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. No matter what you do, you can’t help but to feel flutters in your heart when he smiles, or call you ‘my love’. The flutters felt like knives, though. 

“Lights out,” you suddenly said. George tilted his head, “What?” “Shut up, I wasn’t talking to you,” You quickly cut him, you faced the one way mirror, “Lights out.”

“You have 15 minutes before Lupin knows, so make it quick,” Zabini’s voice rang out from the speaker, and the lights went out. A while later, the emergency light was on, a red glow looms the entire room, giving the space an eerier vibe.

George looked at you curiously, “What is this, Y/N?” You sat silent. You hated it that you had to plan a secret mission with your team just to have time to talk to your husband. You need answers. No matter what.

So, it was no wonder that you looked up to him with your lips quivering and your eyes weak, “Why did you lie to me?” Baffled with your sudden change of demeanor, George furrowed his eyebrows, “Wha—” “I got Blaise to cut off the electricity here for a few minutes, so the surveillance camera won’t work,” You explained. 

“Not even Blaise can hear us, so tell me,” you looked at him again, “Why did you lie to me?” 

Watching the vulnerability in your expression, George’s smug facade faltered. He knew you like the back of his hand, you were telling the truth. Yet, George wasn’t stupid. He didn’t know how you act in your work, so he had to be cautious. He put up his wall again as he smirked, “But I didn’t. I didn’t lie about anything.”

His smirk washed off as you closed your eyes, “George, please…” He watched as you wiped away the tears welling in your eyes, this was the Y/N that he knew, the Y/N that he protected for the past 7 years from his truth.  

George clenched his jaw, “What do you even want me to say, Y/N?”  His voice now lacked the tinge of amusement, you realized he’s serious now. You looked at him, “What happened to you?”

“Whatever do you mean?” He said, and you gritted your teeth, “What happened to you, George? What caused you to be like this?” “This?” He repeated your words. He scoffed, “I’ve always been this, Y/N. I’m just good at hiding it from you and Rafa.”

“Don’t lie to me. You’ve been lying to me for 7 years straight, I deserve the truth,” You voiced out, and George shook his head, “No, you deserve to be away from me. The truth will only make you resent me more.”

“What fucking difference does it make now, George?! You lied to me! You hide yourself from me! Do you even love me?!” You were standing now, slamming your hands on the table. George clenched his jaw, fighting to stay silent. 

“Tell me the truth! Do you even love me?!”

“You want the truth? Here is my truth,” he snarled, “I am that sick bastard you always talk about. I am The Mad Hatter!” 

“Of course I fucking do!” He stood up abruptly, startling you. The handcuffs rattled more as he tried to yank his wrists away from the table. “If I don’t love you, then I would have drowned you that night we met! I wouldn’t have Rafael with you! I would have killed you!” His voice was loud and clear, yet his feelings inside couldn't exactly say the same thing.

George Weasley had lost control of his composure.

“No, no…” You muttered, shaking your head slowly, “But you’re an angel to me! You’re an angel to me and Rafa, George!” You said, desperation clinging onto your voice tightly. 

“If I am one,” He breathed heavily, “If I am an angel, then let me rip off my wings and break apart my halo because I have killed!” He shouted, “And I don’t fucking resent it! Not one fucking bit.”

You were silent in shock from his outburst, while George huffed heavily. His heart was racing with adrenaline, but he hated this one. He looked at you who was still in shock, “Is that what an angel is to you?” he asked cynically.

“Someone that kills for the thrill? If I wanted to, I would have killed you that day you walked into the shop, Y/N,” he said. “But I’d rather kill someone else then kill you and Rafa,” He continued with a small voice. You furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

You snapped out from your state of shock and began to shake your head in confusion, “What the fuck are you talking about, George? You mean to tell me that you killed 7 people because you didn’t want to kill us?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I meant,” He spat, looking at you with a snarl, “Who do you think killed my whole family except Fred?” George started to laugh maniacally, “And I’ve only spared him all this time because he’s my twin brother and I need a partner for my business.”

“You… You killed your family?” You breathed out, horrified. George looked at you and smiled eerily, “Who else?” His expression grimmed. “I’ve always been this, Y/N. A monster; who craves for the thrill of the kill, and the stench of blood, and the screams of pain and burn. That’s who I am, that’s who I truly am.”

“... I never understood love. Not even when I married you. But when Rafa came along, he taught me what love is. He taught me how to love. And when I realized I love you both, I realized that I loved my family too. But in the end,” He chuckled again, “I killed them,” He whispered dreamily. 

There was a shadow of pain in his eyes, you could sense it. When he looked at you, you found the tenderness he always had in his eyes when he looked at you. For a moment, you wondered if he’s really saying the truth; about him being in love with you. Being in love with your family.

“You,” You watched him look away from you for a moment, pursing his lips, “You gave me a happy life. And I forgot what it’s like to kill. You made me into a new man,” He said slowly. There was silence for a while, it was only you and him, staring into each other. But something clicked inside him that caused him to look away. 

He continued in a cold voice, “But I remembered what I did to my family. I remembered how I felt. I loved it, no matter how much guilt weighed on me for years. I loved seeing their terrified faces when I killed them slowly one by one. Mum, Dad, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ron and, and little Ginny. They’re in my dreams every single day after that, haunting me, taunting me to kill you and Rafa next. Because that’s who I am,” He slowly shook his head, “But I don’t want to.”

His head turned to you, “I don’t want to kill you. I don’t want to kill Rafa. If I ever do, I— I—” He scoffed, his eyes wandering around the table wildly, “I don’t know if I can forgive myself for it.”

“For killing us?”

“No, for enjoying it,” George confessed. You let out a shaky breath, trying your best to digest it right. Looking at you being quite shaken by the truth, George smiled to himself, “This is also why I didn’t want to tell you the truth.”

“What?”

“You’re looking at me like a monster,” He said softly, lips etching that gentle smile you always adored. He sat back down on his seat, his hands playing with the metallic chain that held him down. “I’m not saying that I’m not one, I just feel better when you look at me with love because I’m your husband, not a sick bastard who kills for fun.”

“It feels nice not to be a monster sometimes.” 

“George... “ You didn’t know what else to say, but his name. “T-then… Why did you target former sexual assaulters? A-and why would you record them?” You asked slowly.

George looked at you for a moment, blinked and he only smiled. That’s when you realized that he had put up his walls again. That George who had confessed his love to you, and had confessed his crimes to you was gone, this is The Mad Hatter now. 

“I told you the truth, I answered your questions. I gave you my word, didn’t I?” He spoke, as if nothing happened a few minutes ago. You took a deep breath to recollect yourself again. You felt confused, angry, scared, and everything else.

 But you’re also hurt.

“... But you did kill me, George.” Your words caused him to look up to you. You were looking down on your hands before standing up straight, sighing as you looked at him, “You hurt me, you lied to me, you deceived me, you played me like I’m no less than a rag doll. Even if you didn’t kill me physically, you killed me in there,” You pointed to his chest, slightly scoffing at the tears welling up your eyes.

And the lights went back up again. 

You took a deep breath, pretending everything was fine. “Nott and Zabini will interrogate you. I’m off the case because of you, so I hope you can work with them, and tell them what you just told me,” You said nonchalantly, forcing the lump on your throat to swallow itself back down. 

George chuckled, shaking his head, “Nah, I don’t think I will.” You furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

At that moment, the door opened and someone came into the room, “This interrogation is over now that I'm here, please leave,” The man said coolly and you widened your eyes as you recognized him instantly as soon as he walked in the room, “...  Fred?”

“Ah, brilliant.”

The glint of mischief in his eyes had returned, and you realized that the two brothers in front of you are up to no good.

“My lawyer’s here.”

TAGLIST:

@multifandom-but @sirenswhispers @lilac-skies-xd @obsessedunicorn24 @foggyturtleknightangel @evewithluv @softlyqoos @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13 @lilypad-55449 @fiantomartell @hopemalfoyweasley @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @bucketandpotato @klausdatprettyboi @adoregin @littlechillies @phuvioqhile @sweetnspicysimp @wand3ringr0s3 @harrypotter289 @emptyporsche @tallyovie @the-unmanaged-mischief @potters-heart @gcdricreads ​ @waffleweasley-deactivated202104 @amourtentiaa @lunalovecroft @freddie1978 @lupinsclassroom @breadqueen95 @iwritesiriusly @rcwenaclaw @sevsbitxh @freds-slut @acosmis-t @colorfulprofessornickelangel @vote4weasleys @anchoeritic @alluringshawn @cute-sidney @anna-banana-13 @lostaurorax @emrysts @rosietoesy @lilgeorgie78 @prismarts @an2402lths

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of ��what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[ssironstrange]

random thought

that has nothing to do with marvel stuff or ironstrange, sorry followers. also sort of a sensitive subject??

but like, yall ever have a small epiphany about like... how a certain mindset you’ve been in your whole life is literally just a cultural/societal thing and not how the rest of the country works???

this is me on age of consent.

where i live it’s 16. i think there might be a couple of states that still has it at 14? but mine is 16. thats when most young people really, legitimately start considering themselves adults here. you can drive, have a job, be emancipated from your parents, and have sex with whoever you want without legal consequence. 18 was simply when you could legally buy cigarettes and sign up for the military. no big deal really. ironically i think you have to be 18 to purchase anything from a sex toy store.

growing up i thought it was WEIRD that pretty much everyone else ever in the country considered people minors until 18. that just... wasn’t the case for me. under 16 was a minor. thats how we do things here. I dated and had an intimate relationship with a 16 year old when i was 19. actually started dating him when he was 15 but waited until he was 16 for sex. i NEVER thought twice about that. it was pretty normal.

and literally it’s only been within this past year that i’ve been able to realize that this is only normal for people in my state, yanno what i mean? its almost like... like when someone realizes their views about race or sexuality are purely because of their particular societal upbringing and not necessarily a reflection of what they really believe. (”i always thought _ was like this because thats how it’s always been here??” type of thing) for a long ass time i fought against a lot of online things that started excluding people below 18 from sexual content because, HELLO ITS LEGAL AT 16 WHERE I AM and that just seemed SUPER unfair and wrong to push this blanket of 18+ on adult content when that wasn’t the case for all states. but then within this last year, i started seeing more and more and more people on here and other sites i frequent get really adamant about not interacting with anyone under 18. i started to get that feeling again, but then i stopped for whatever reason and thought back on that relationship i had and how ANYWHERE ELSE not only would it have been super illegal but i probably would have been labeled a predator or some shit. anywhere else it would have caused disgust. and it was a moment of like “holy shit no one else thinks like this holy shit this isn’t normal for everyone else holy shit i literally only think this way because of where i live”

its a little unsettling??

like, now that i’m nearly 30 i look back on that relationship and i just think of how such a short span between 16 and 18 can change a person. i think of how, while i was extremely independent already, i was still so naive to a lot of things at 16. i sure as fuck wasn’t ready for sex (lost virginity at almost 18) and i sure as fuck didn’t know what a healthy vs. toxic relationship was. i mean like, thank the powers that be that my boyfriend at the time of all that was already SUPER WELL VERSED in all that but if he hadn’t??? like... shit i could have ruined him. i just think like, what if he had been a virgin, what if i had been his first girlfriend, what if all these things that make a HUGE impact on a person and usually follows them for the rest of their lives had happen and i was the one responsible?

and then i understood. finally, really, actually understood WHY restricting access to sexual content was important, and why so many people i knew wanted to block all interactions with minors. the legality aside, it’s fucking TERRIFYING to think of how i could harm someone completely unintentionally or change their whole view of something. i’ve been exposed to sex since i was 7. i knew waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than i should have ever known by 16 and it wasn’t my choice to make. but even at 16, there was so much i still didn’t know despite that. and most people don’t experience what i did. most 16 year olds didn’t, and shouldn’t, know the things i did. realizing that makes it even more horrifying at just how easy it would be to harm a young person by complete accident.

it took me nearly 30 years, but i get it now.

and slowly but surely i’m trying to weed out any minors from my online life. sometimes it sucks having to sacrifice potential friendships because, honestly, as much as teenagers annoy me they’re also hilarious as fuck and fun to shoot the shit with at times. but like, its just not worth it.

i can’t stop minors from following me here (i don’t think??) and i’m frankly just not going to check every single person whose ever reblogged something i’m going to reblog. but i have forfeited following quite a few blogs i would love to because the person is only like 15 or 16. nope. not with the things i tend to post.

so anyway yeah thats my little epiphany about age limits and sex stuff. crazy shit.

[doctorbethanysartblog]

NOTIFICATION CH. 8 - XEPHLEZ FIC

This is the chapter before Minecon, also known as, IT’S TIME.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8

Zodiac Mysteries Fest. CaptainSparklez

 1,840,034 Views

 Bubbles

The mystery video has been revealed!

Murphydo

Okay it makes sense now why he was going on about cats

           Inkie

           Is Xephos even allergic to the mention of cats or something

Technica

Okay but why did they do this video, do they just want to boost their views or what?

           Owlette

           Because they wanted to?

                       Shu

Sparklez has mentioned on streams how he would like to do a collab again and I don’t think there is anything wrong with putting honeydew in the mix

---

Sparklez Cadets - skype conversation

21:36 GMT

 (Nebby-chan)

I have tickets!

(captainvoid)

Who are you gonna bring

(Nebby-chan)

You of course, you live near London.

(Dames-sapce-a-lot)

Thats for living in wales for you >:CCCCC

(Commander)

I AM MAIN LAND EUROPE EXCUSE YOU

(Dame-sapce-a-lot)

That sounds like a you problem :3c

(Nebby-chan)

Guys please; I’ll take pictures for you don’t worry.

---

Nebby-chan

 Okay guys, Minecon is at the end of this month and as there isn’t an official page for it, consider this one; if I need to update any changes or new ones have been planned send me a message and I will update the list.

These are all the times and places for fan meets the coming weekend!

Saturday

Minceraft –  1 pm - Unit 7

MCSM Meetup – 2pm –Unit 6

Map Makers Anonymous – 3 pm – Unit 8

Mianite – 4 pm – Unit 7

Sunday

The general Youtubes – 11 am - Unit 6

Edit: Minecon music video filming – 3 pm Main Grass area (Will be filming through the day)

The Yhwags – 4pm – Unit 7

 These are all the ones I know so far, give me a heads!

 6049 Notes      #Minecon 2017           #I am going to be at Mianite and Yhwags!

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Sparkles Night @CptSparklez

So there this girl called Nebby-chan on tumblr who has put up a list of meets for minecon (Thanks fox for the heads up)

Sparkles Night @CptSparklez

As there isn’t an official page, this would be a good time to look into it!

Nebby-chan @Nebula

@CptSparklez I need to update it, a few more group meets have arisen.

Sparkles Night @CptSparklez

@Nebby-chan Thanks for doing this!

---

Honeydew

 [video]

 132 likes

Honeydew Prep work for con!

Cola shirts shirts shirts shirts

Vocalmusic posters posters posters

TheDoc And one lone keyring

--

OMGItsFIREFox

 [Photo]

 342 likes

OMGitsFIREFox Getting tucker to choose the tshirt design he wants to sell at minecon, everyone else has picked there’s D: HE’S TAKING FOREVER

CaptainSparklez Come on Bro I took ten minutes you have been deciding for the past ten days

Jericho @captainsparklez I’M SORRY WE CAN’T ALL BE YOU

Syndicate @Jericho @captainsparklez   I took five

CaptainSparklez @Syndicate @Jericho   Minutes?

Syndicate @CpatainSparklez @Jericho   Seconds

Jericho @captainsparklez @Jercicho   AGRH

---

Sparkles Night @CptSparklez

So me and the crew are going to be there a few days before to go site seeing

Sparkles Night @CptSparklez

Any places in London we should go see?

Living With Depression <3 @Citygiurl34

@CptSparklez You need to go see campton market (avoid the Sunday)

Haribo booiii @duckzwithz

@CptSparklez Forbidden Planet

Simmonsize @lolnope93

@CptSparklez the Queen pip pip

Yanaga @Miyuki

@CptSparklez Find some spooky stuff

---

Nebby-chan

 Hi new followers that came in a wave after that one Sparklez tweet.

[image]

 134 notes        #No I do not know him            #Please stop asking       #I am a fan like the rest of you.

---

Nebby-chan reblogged Thedoctordoesart

 [image]

 Thedoctordoesart

Gonna head for the con soon (staying with friends so I am heading off early to see London for the first time) Hope to see some of you at the meets!

21 notes          #Have a fun time        #I’ll see you at one meet probably      #My hair kind of sticks out

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Nebby-chan reblogged Captainvoid

 [image] [image]

[image] [image]

 Aria

They’ve started arriving in the uk guys! It seems a few of them got the same plane on purpose!

-

Meeks

Yall is that Mark and Sparkles hanging out!

-

Woolyknitted

@doctormarsh Looks its our faves hanging out

 3482 Notes      #Then there’s the yhwags that are just           #”What up we just need to drive down the motorway”

---

Nilesy @ Journey 2 Minecon @_Nilesy

IT’S TIME

Nano @ Journey 2 Minecon @_Nilesy

@_Nilesy ITS TIIIIIME

Lom @ Journey 2 Minecon @Lomadia

In the car with @Rythian, @Zoeya and @Caff here

[Image]

Lalna @ Journey 2 Minecon @lividcoffe

@Lomadia we see yall

[image]

Honeydew @ Journey 2 Minecon @Honeydew

@BlueXephos Do it

Xephos @ Journey 2 Minecon @BlueXephos

@honeydew *sigh*

Xephos @ Journey 2 Minecon @BlueXephos

@Honeydew IT’S TIME