#if i see a single tag that says otherwise you're catching these hands!

[mythtakens]

"You were there for him when I couldn't be. That's what matters."

[lavenderlegends]

can you fall in love after a single kiss?

ship: stiles/derek prompt: crisp air characters: erica, scott, isaac, danny, jackson, allison mention, boyd mention cw: drinking tags: college au, fluff word count: 2.6k ao3 ♞♚♞♚

"Ahhhh," Stiles says, as he steps out into the crisp fall air. He looks over at Erica. "Do you feel that?"

"Hm?" she says, looking up from her phone. "What's that?"

"The air! Fall has begun!" Stiles exclaims. He nudges her. "C'mon, why aren't you enjoying this?"

"Because," Erica says, looking back down at her phone as they walk down the path towards the parking lot. "I've got a lot going on at the moment."

"Mhm, it's that guy, isn't it?" Stiles asks, trying to peek at her screen. She hides it from him with a pointed expression.

"None of your business," she answers.

"Ugh. Well, will I at least see you at Danny's party?" Stiles shoves his hand into his pocket, searching for his Jeep keys. Erica doesn't answer by the time he's pulled out the bi flag lanyard, so he pouts. "Ericaaaa, midterms are over. We have to celebrate. Please tell me you're coming to Danny's party."

"What?" she asks, looking up at him. "Oh. Danny's party. Yes. I'll be there."

"Will he be there?" Stiles asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Erica's face flushes in a way he's never seen before. She shrugs. "Maybe."

"I can't wait to meet the mystery man, then."

"He's not a mystery man. He's just a guy I met at the library." Erica bites her bottom lip when they reach his Jeep and are about to say goodbye. He doesn't rush to open the door.

"What is it?"

"I think... oh my god, I can't believe I'm even thinking this, let alone saying this... but..."

"Spit it out already," Stiles says, shaking with impatience. He should've taken his Adderall today, but definitely forgot. He likes to pretend he does better studying without it, but his most recent midterm would prove otherwise.

Erica ducks her head. "I think he's, like, the one."

"What," Stiles blurts. He doesn't mean to, really, but he's never ever heard Erica talk like this and they've been best friends since kindergarten. Stiles waits until she lifts her head up again before he asks, "Are you possessed?"

She shakes her head.

Stiles blinks. "Holy shit, Erica! That's huge. I never thought you'd settle down for a boyfriend, let alone the one."

Erica lets out a soft laugh. "Yeah, me neither. I don't know what it is about him, Stiles, but he gets me."

"Does he...?"

"Know I'm trans? Yeah," Erica says, nodding. "I know. It's strange, isn't it? I don't think I've ever been on a second date before."

"But this guy?"

"This guy," Erica confirms, a shy smile crossing her lips. "This guy is something else. Listen, I'm going to go shopping before Danny's party. I want to look good. I'll catch up with you later?"

"Sounds good."

"And if you tell anyone what I said--"

He laughs. "As if anyone would believe me."

"True." Erica grins, and bounces away with a skip in her step. Stiles stares after her.

This party is going to be one to remember.

Erica's in love. It's obvious. She just met the guy a week ago, but some things are undeniable.

He smiles to himself as he gets into his Jeep. Maybe, just maybe, the one for him is at the party tonight too.

♞♚♞♚

Stiles shows up a little late, but he meant to be on time. He even set like six alarms to stop his ADHD from getting in the way, but alas, it was pointless. He just hopes Danny isn't mad.

"There you are!" Danny's voice comes when Stiles enters the kitchen.

"Hey, sorry." Stiles hands him a bag of ice. "I know, I know. Super late. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Derek also brought ice."

Stiles jerks his head back. "You asked Derek to bring you ice too?"

"I did," Danny says. "Figured you'd be late. I've known you since high school, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," Stiles says, rolling his eyes. "I just can't believe you asked Mr. Grumpy Pants to bring ice. It's like asking a bear to step out of their cave while they're hibernating."

"Ha, ha," a sarcastic, dry tone comes from behind him.

Stiles jumps and whips around to see Derek freaking Hale standing behind him. He groans. "Are you everywhere? I swear, you have the hearing of a bat."

Derek tilts his head. "You shouldn't be that surprised to see me. I am Danny's roommate."

"Mhm," Stiles says. "Don't remind me."

Stiles and Derek haven't gotten along since first semester of first year. The guy has been nothing but rude and grumpy to Stiles. His theory is that Derek's in love with Danny, especially because his attitude just got worse after he learned that Stiles and Danny used to hook up in high school.

But Danny's been dating Jackson pretty much since they started college, so Stiles doesn't get why Derek's not over him yet.

"Alright, I'm off to find Scott and Isaac!" Stiles announces, before muttering, "'Cause I can't stand to be around you anymore."

Derek snorts. "Like I want to be around you either."

"Can't we be nice for one night?" Danny pleads, but Stiles just tosses his hand in the air and walks towards the living room.

Erica's talking to a very handsome guy in the corner, and she's twirling her hair. He freezes, watching them. He's never seen her twirl her hair before. Ever. But there she is, giggling, and looking up at this guy with the biggest heart-eyes he's ever seen.

"Oh my god, I can't believe it," Isaac says, suddenly appearing at Stiles' side. Scott joins him on the other side. "I've never seen Boyd talk so much to a girl before."

"Yeah, it's a bit weird," Scott says. "Erica's like... usually on the prowl by now."

"Jesus," Stiles mutters. "You make her sound like a cougar."

"Well, you know what I mean. She eats boys up and spits them out. It's her thing," Scott says. "I've never seen her so... infatuated before."

"That's a great word for it, honey," Isaac says, grinning. He shares a look with Scott, and Stiles groans. "What?"

"You two are also disgustingly in love," Stiles mutters. "Everyone seems to be these days!"

"Calm down," Scott says, but he's still got a moony look towards Isaac on his face. "You'll find the right person soon."

"Uh-huh." Stiles sighs. "I'm going to find Lydia. You two are making me nauseated."

He doesn't wait for them to protest, but heads out to the balcony. He smiles when he finds Lydia alone. She takes a long sip of her drink before looking at him.

"Nice night out, huh?" Stiles asks.

"Yeah." Lydia sighs. "I wish Ally was here tonight."

"Why isn't she?" Stiles asks, glancing back through the windows as if he might magically spot her.

"She went home to visit her parents."

"Are you two...?"

"Yeah," Lydia admits. "We're keeping it on the downlow for now. I mean, her breakup with Kira is still pretty fresh. But..."

"Damn." Stiles rubs his face. "Everyone seems to be in a relationship these days."

Lydia pats his shoulder. "I'm sorry, darling. You'll find someone. I just know it."

"Yeah. That's what they keep telling me." Stiles sighs.

Lydia finishes her drink and then says, "I'm going back inside. You coming?"

"I think I'll stay out here for now." Stiles doesn't care if he shivers. Nothing is going to make him go back inside now.

Erica has Boyd. Danny's with Jackson. Scott and Isaac have been dating for almost a year. Now Lydia and Allison? When is it going to be his turn?

Stiles stretches his neck before leaning over the edge of the balcony. He's looking into a parking lot, and it's not very exciting, but he can sort of see the city lights from here, and that's nice. He guesses.

He's not drunk enough for this.

Maybe he should ditch the party, curl up, and watch Disney Plus. Anything would be better than this. Being alone. Again. As always.

"Room for one more out here?"

Stiles freezes at the sound of Derek's voice before turning. "What do you want?"

"Thought maybe we could talk." Derek shuts the door gently behind him. "What do you say?"

"Whatever," Stiles mutters.

"What's your problem with me?" Derek asks, as if he doesn't already know. Stiles glances at him again but can't stare too long because his heart has started to pound.

He's never actually been alone with Derek before.

"Like you don't know," Stiles mutters.

"I don't," Derek says, flatly.

"You've been nothing but rude to me, and you only got ruder once you learned about my history with Danny."

Derek blinks. "What are you talking about?"

"Sure. Play dumb." Stiles rolls his eyes. He turns to face Derek now, surprised at how close they are together. It's not a huge balcony, but it's not that small either.

Derek looks down at Stiles, just slightly, and asks, "Talk to me like I'm dumb."

"Fine." Stiles lifts his head and bites his lip. Derek's eyes are unwavering on his. "You are the rudest person I have ever met. You totally changed your vibe around me after the news about Danny and I came out. You were stiffer, and not in like, a fun way. You wouldn't look me in the eyes. You just... grunted. A lot. Danny was my first. I was his first. It was all very sweet, but just because you're in love with Danny, doesn't mean you have like... claim on him. He's his own person. And he chose Jackson. So, I don't get why you're such an asshole to me."

Stiles is shaking now, but he doesn't care.

The crisp fall air has turned cold.

And then...

Derek kisses him.

Stiles would jerk back if he had the ability to think. But Derek's lips are hot against his, and suddenly, Stiles is grabbing onto Derek's sweater, and holding him there.

He'd be lying if he said this hadn't popped into his mind before. But he never thought... never in a million years imagined... never...

Derek pulls away, but not far.

His voice is soft but gruff when he says, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Then he turns on his heels and walks back into the party. As if he hadn't just given Stiles the best kiss of his life.

"What the fuck?" Stiles whispers, bringing his shaking fingers up to his lips.

He doesn't know what to make of that, so he stays out on the balcony until it's too cold, and then when he goes back into the party, Derek's already gone.

♞♚♞♚

He can't stop thinking about it. He might actually understand Erica's obsession with her phone and Boyd now. Stiles waits. He waits for some sort of flicker of hope that maybe Derek kissing him was real. That maybe it wasn't a fluke.

But no notifications ever come. No Instagram follow. No accidental Tweet like. Not even a Facebook friend request.

Stiles hates it.

♞♚♞♚

"Hey darling, I'm sorry, but I have to bail on our shopping trip today," Lydia tells him on the phone a few days later. "Allison had a rough time at home, and came back to campus early. I'm going to go over to hers, is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Stiles says, absentmindedly.

"Okay, thank you!" Lydia sends kisses through the phone and hangs up.

It takes him a minute to realize they've said goodbye and she's gone.

He's busy staring at Danny's messages in Whatsapp and debating on what to say.

Nothing sounds right.

hey your dumb roommate kissed me

hey can you fall in love after a single kiss

hey I was wondering if I could come over?

The last one, he sends.

Danny gives him a thumbs-up and Stiles makes his way over. He hesitates at the door, but it swings open and Jackson stands there.

"Jesus!" Jackson says. "You almost gave me a heart attack, Stilinski. What are you doing here?"

"Uhhh."

"We're going to hang out and play some video games!" Danny's voice comes from somewhere in the apartment.

"That," Stiles says.

"Alright," Jackson replies, shaking his head. "Just, like, knock next time." He pauses to call back to Danny. "Love you!"

"Love you too!" Danny shouts.

Jackson heads out and leaves the door open for Stiles. He slowly inches his way into the apartment and shuts the door behind him.

"Is, uh, Derek here?" Stiles asks.

"Huh?" Danny says, coming into the living room. He wears a bright smile. "No, no. He hasn't been around all week. Studying for some big test he has next week, I guess. The apartment's all ours."

"Where's Jackson going?"

"Oh, his dad's in town, so they're having dinner."

Danny gives Stiles a quick hug. "C'mon, let's play."

"Sure."

It's reasonable of Danny to assume Stiles wants to play a video game, but all he wants to do right now is ask about Derek. He shoves his questions deep down though.

At least, until he can't hold it in any longer. They're three hours deep into the newest game Danny bought and Stiles blurts, "Why would Derek kiss me?"

Danny freezes, pauses the game, and turns to look at Stiles. "He did what now?"

"He kissed me. At your party. On that balcony. Last week." Stiles breathes. He's finally told someone else and it feels good. "Why... why would he do that?"

"I... I honestly don't know," Danny says, slowly. His eyebrows come together. "Although, now that I think about it, he does ask about you sometimes."

"He does?" Stiles asks, hating how hopeful he sounds.

"Yeah. Like he asked if I had heard from you after the party," Danny explains. "I thought it was a little weird, but... Derek's kind of weird, y'know? Keeps to himself a lot."

"Right." Stiles bites his lip. "Okay, you know what, let's not talk about it anymore. Pretend it never happened."

Because that's what Derek's doing.

"Sure thing," Danny says, and hits play on the game. Stiles is almost instantly killed.

♞♚♞♚

Stiles is walking to class with Erica through the courtyard when he finally sees Derek for the first time since the party.

"Hey, I'm not feeling well suddenly." Stiles puts a hand over his stomach. "Dairy issues."

Erica scrunches her nose. "Gross, Stiles. You really don't need to tell me that every time. And also, stop eating dairy!"

Normally, he'd laugh, but he's too tense. "Catch you back at home?"

"Sure. Feel better," Erica says, kissing him on the cheek.

Stiles waits until she's in the building and out of sight before he crosses the courtyard. His heart pounds so loud he can hear it. He's losing his nerve the closer he gets, but he doesn't stop.

"You kissed me."

Derek swings his head up from his textbook. He meets Stiles' eyes and calmly says, "Yes."

"Why?" Stiles asks, slipping into the picnic table bench. "Because I've been thinking and thinking and nothing makes sense except--"

"I have a crush on you." Derek says it so clear-as-day, it almost shakes Stiles' core.

"But why?"

Derek swallows before answering. He keeps his voice low. "Because you are so unafraid to be yourself. Because you clearly care about our mutual friends. Because you show up with ice even when you're an hour late. Because you're loud and obnoxious and funny and a smart ass. Because you don't care that my parents are rich and my dad's the dean of our school. You treat me the exact same way. You don't tiptoe around me or ask me for favours or try to get in good with me to get in with my dad."

Stiles blinks. He's positive that at some point Danny told him about Derek's parents, but he didn't realize that people... did that to Derek because of them. He swallows.

"I... I see."

"Does that answer your question?" Derek asks.

"Yes. But I have one more."

Derek simply stares at him.

Stiles musters up all his courage and says, "Can we do it again?"

♞♚♞♚

[guudak]

andante, andante

[epilogue] - allegro

click here to read the original fic i.e. the rest of it as this is only the epilogue chapter. Also cross-posted this on AO3.

pairing: jungkook / oc genre + tags: college au, f2l, alcohol, pining chapter warnings: mentions of / direct references to sex but no smut or descriptions of it. word count: 4,490 The aftermath of your best friend singing that ABBA song, clumsily flirting with you and then drunkenly professing his love to you multiple times in the same night.

And honestly? It doesn’t take long. 

Your first date you both labelled officially as a couple had been bowling. Which you, by the way, had royally sucked at, but it at least gave you an excuse to ask him for a demonstration (i.e. a chance to have him pressed against you while he guided you during your turn) - sly, but clearly not sly enough since he called you out on it. Subtle had never really been your thing, but at least he’d played along. No, you had always been a master of the art of un-subtlety. You never had any shame in saying things without thinking too thoroughly or (respectfully) staring, as well as being the one to make the first move, owing to the amount of flings and almost-relationships you had prior to Jungkook. 

He’s always been handsome. Truthfully, he isn’t your conventional type. As in, not the typical guy you used to go for, but you’ve always known he was handsome. But back then, it hadn’t been in a butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of way, but in an objective sense, because if you uploaded a photo of him on prettyscale.com it would have given him a 90% but if you did the rating yourself you’d give him 100. Now that he’s yours you could stare at him all you want without it being weird and he’s a total dreamboat, and you could finally say it. You don’t hide it from him either because you remind him every chance you get, and you revel in the satisfaction from the way his cheeks tinge pink when he notices you giving him the eyes. 

The thrill of seeing him blush under your gaze never gets old. You catch him trying to suppress his shy smile when he notices, pretending to focus on something else entirely, but the corners of his lips betray him every time.

“You’re not subtle, at all.”

“Can you blame me?” you shoot back, your tone light and teasing, “With a face like that, I’m just appreciating the view. And I like seeing you all blushing and flustered.”

“I’m not blushing,” he mutters as if offended, but the grin he hides says otherwise.

Though the dynamics of your relationship have shifted, the essence of your connection remains beautifully familiar. He’s still your best friend, only now, there's a deeper layer of intimacy woven into the fabric of your bond. It feels like a gentle, inevitable progression of the love that has always simmered quietly between you. There's a newfound softness in the way you look at each other, a tenderness in the touch of your hands that find their way together instinctively, drawn by a magnetic pull when you're close. He’s always been there, and maybe, you have since concluded, a constant is what you want. What you need. 

Over time, you’ve come to realise that Jungkook's steadiness is like a gentle glow that doesn't rush to overpower, but instead slowly illuminates what surrounds it. His reliability isn't loud or showy, and it doesn't need to be. It's in the quiet moments, the consistent support, the unspoken understanding. With him, there is no dramatic shift in your world, just the comforting assurance that no matter where you turn, he is there, like a lighthouse guiding you back to shore. And in the chaotic blur of your own life and your thoughts, his enduring presence has become something grounding, anchoring you back when your head is in the clouds.

When it comes to your love life, you've always kept things simple, governed by a single, steadfast rule: the six-month timeline before saying the L-word. That monumental declaration wouldn't escape your lips before month six. That has always been your rule. A timeline not just drawn from caution but from a lack of conviction about what it truly felt to love someone in the all-encompassing way that other people seem to romanticise. Your previous relationships, hovering close to that mark, dissolved before the pivotal sixth month. But you stand by your belief in the saying that when you truly know, you just know, without any second-guessing.

You had been upfront with Jungkook about this from the very beginning, laying your cards on the table with the kind of transparency that leaves no room for misinterpretation. He took it gracefully, in that dignified way of his because that’s just how he is but you knew he’d understand. With that stoic composure of his that masked the depth of his feelings - feelings that had matured over time, unlike yours that were still forming, and still tentative. 

He’d confessed his love for you again one moonlit evening on the beach. It was the midst of winter, and the air was bitterly cold as you both walked back from a party. On a whim, you had taken a detour, ending up by the seafront. Each of you held a handle of a grocery bag, the one that carried your leftover bottles of gin and toffee vodka from the night. The waves crashed nearby, their rhythm mingling with the crisp sea breeze and the sand crunching beneath your footsteps. His breath formed little clouds in the frosty air, and you could see the shine in his eyes reflect in the moonlight. You’d huddled closer as both of you sat side by side on the sand.

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” he said, his voice carrying over the waves. “You’ve been my best friend even longer than I’ve loved you. But I love you to the point I would have been content if we’d never changed a thing - anything to have you around in my life and seeing you happy, even if it was with someone else. But being here with you now, like this, is more than I could have ever hoped for.” His words were as raw and vast as the ocean before you, and surrounded by the echo of waves and winter’s chill, you felt a warmth that only he could kindle. His words were as sincere as the first time, but this time clarified, unlike his drunken confession that he barely remembered, but still heavy with the weight of emotion he had harboured for so long. But with it came a gentle reassurance: he didn’t expect, nor did he need, an immediate reciprocation. “And I know you don’t feel that way about me. But I’m here, no matter what it is you feel towards me. I’m happy just being with you.” 

You’d melted at that. You gave his hand a squeeze, interlocking your fingers with his. “Jungkook, being your best friend is one of the easiest things in the world. What I feel for you, sometimes it confuses me, but whatever it is … and I know I’m not fully there as you are yet. But it’s real, and it’s deep, and it’s growing each day. I’m getting there.” Your words had hung between you, a tethered promise in the making. 

You’d known he was content to wait, giving you the space to let your feelings blossom naturally, unforced and genuine. It had been this patience, this unwavering steadiness of his love, that touched you deeply, challenging every preconceived notion you held about love and its mysterious timeline.

.

“I think I have feelings for you,” you tell him one evening, as you both lay sprawled across his bed, one of his playlists softly playing in the background. His room is dimly lit, the glow of his lamp spilling a warm amber. The ambient lamp was a recent addition he bought since you were spending more time in his room and him being familiar with your spite for overhead lighting. 

Jungkook blinks, taken aback by your suddenness. “What made you reach that conclusion?”

“Well,” you start. “I can say I like a ploughmans sandwich, and I can also say I really like a ploughmans sandwich, and I know what that feels like, but I can’t exactly say I have feelings for a ploughmans sandwich, you know? And what I feel, I know I like you more than just really liking you.” 

His eyes soften as he processes your words, the corners of his mouth curling into a hesitant smile. 

“You’re serious?” he asks, his voice a mixture of hope and surprise.

“I am,” you affirm. “It's different with you. You're not just comfort food. You’re the homemade kind but you’re just better, better than a sandwich I impulsively make just because it’s my favourite and it's 2 A.M. and I need something. Does that make sense?”

He laughs softly, his initial shock giving way to a warmth that radiates from his eyes. 

“It makes perfect sense.” He reaches across to squeeze your hand. It’s a sweet, genuine moment, wholesome in its simplicity. Jungkook is a touchy lover. Yet, you noticed how sentimentality always seemed to kindle a spark of desire in him, a stirring deep within that brought a slightly more insistent touch to his hands and a need in him to take your clothes off. This had been a pattern - a very amusing pattern you’ve noticed in him.

“Ugh, you’re so handsy.” You roll your eyes but the bells of your laughter give you away while he pulls the edge of your shorts. But with him it never took much for you to be persuaded, charming and handsy as he is. His fingers linger with playful intention, tracing a line so light and teasing along your waist, that it has your back arching to have him closer to you.

“Behave,” you murmur, even as your voice and your body betray you. His grin widens, eyes glinting. 

“I'm trying,” he says, his voice low, but not exerting any effort to sound convincing.

You draw him in, giving him a kiss that was deep and profound. And for the second time during that evening, you lift your shift over your head. 

.

You thought you knew him well, but soon you began to notice the little things. Jungkook, though sweet, showed his competitive and mischievous sense of humour more after you started dating. It was like (as said by Shrek) peeling the many layers of an onion and uncovering the deeper facets of his personality (except, of course, Jungkook isn’t an ogre). At the indoor crazy golf course, his modesty disappeared and he delighted in teasing you whenever you missed a shot, suggesting a scoring system where points were awarded for missed holes instead of successful ones. Of course you hit his ankle with your club after that but despite his playful jabs, it was difficult to resist his charm.

When it approaches the fifth month you begin to question your timeline. The pace at which you caught feelings for him, and the depth you’re plunging into, is admittedly terrifying. Despite you approaching this relationship with an open-mind, it’s a sobering and an almost embarrassing realisation. What is it that you’re scared of? That’s the question that’s been bearing down on your mind.

You’ve been invited for drinks at the beach in the evening. A friend of a mutual friend’s birthday, of whom you couldn’t remember their name but assume it’s the guy wearing the glittery party hat and sash that says Birthday Bitch on it. It’s unlikely Jungkook could make it tonight as he has a deadline due at the end of the week, but promised he’ll come down later if he inevitably becomes sick of staring at his computer screen. In the meantime, you try to find familiar faces. 

You spot Yerim, sitting criss-crossed and staring at the sea. Her hair is slicked-back into a ponytail, no longer the bleach blonde you’re so familiar with, instead a lovely sheen of black, which is definitely a change. In the time you’ve known her she’s never had her natural hair, always dyeing it, but she’s just as pretty as she’s always been. It’s been a while since you last spoke to her but she greets you warmly, standing from the sand and dusting herself off to pull you into a hug when you endeavour for her eye contact. 

You talk to each other about many things, catching up with what you both missed from each other’s lives. Truth be told, you stopped talking as much after her and Jungkook broke up. When they distanced from each other, you saw Yerim around less and less. 

She’s on her fourth can of beer, and her face is a warm flush. “I miss having him around, you know,” she admits later on. “That’s probably the main thing. Not the gifts, or the attention, or the sex. Just him. And I never properly said thank you … to you. I know how close you were to him and I know you distanced from each other on purpose when I dated him.”

“Well, would have made it easier than having a conversation with you telling me to fuck off, you know. But I get it. I do.”

You had done it out of respect for her, and her relationship with Jungkook. You had told him that you couldn’t be with him alone like you used to, and if you did spend time together, other friends would be present if Yerim wasn’t around. You could tell at the time he was a little upset, but ultimately could see your reasoning. It made sense. He invested a lot in his and Yerim’s relationship. He wanted to make it work, so badly, but she broke it off. 

Yerim shifts uncomfortably, opening her mouth as if to speak, then closing it again. She looks like she’s summoning the courage to say something, and you have a sinking feeling you know what it is. 

“Are you and Jungkook together now?” 

And there it is.

“Only for about five months,” you tell her. You’re honest about it, you owe her that much. 

She nods slowly. “Did he ask you out?”

“Uh … well. We kind of both did, in a way. He was tipsy, then the messy, awkward stuff happened where he tried to avoid me for weeks and couldn't look me in the eye, etcetera, etcetera, and then I confronted him about it. Then I thought, we’re already friends anyway so why not? And here we are.”

You exchange a knowing look, then share a small, relieved laugh.

“That’s really great,” Yerim finally says. “I mean it.” Her smile reaches her eyes, and the expression on her face is all soft lines, free from malice or hidden jealousy. It’s what you’ve always admired her for, and why Jungkook was drawn to her in the first place. She’s a kind person, not just seeing, but finding the good in circumstances and in people. When she broke up with Jungkook, he was devastated and turned to you for comfort. It took him time to heal, because he just couldn’t understand where he went wrong. 

“Yerim…” you begin, nerves tightening your throat while she looks at you with quiet expectation. “Why did you break up with Jungkook?” 

To your surprise, she giggles.“To fully answer that I have to go through the entire emotional turmoil I went through. I was so torn about it, I hope you know that. I didn’t want to break up at first. To put it simply, and I know this is so fucking cheesy, but I thought to myself - if you and I were hanging off the edge of a cliff, and Jungkook could only save one of us, who would he pick?” She gives you a small, knowing smile. “Even in that impossible situation, I knew it wouldn’t be me.”

“No, Yerim, he would have tried to save both of us.” 

She turns away, her gaze settling on the sea instead. “Maybe. But it’s always been at the back of my mind. It always would have been at the back of my mind. I know it was partly me being insecure and I know you drifted yourself from him for me so I wouldn’t feel that way, but I knew what you meant to him. He was such a good boyfriend, but I didn’t have him as a best friend the way you did. And I realised I could never really get past that.”

“I’m sorry.”

She looks at you, her expression gentle. “Don’t be.”

There’s a pause.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she finally says, her voice steady. “I always knew he deserved someone who could be everything for him. A best friend, a partner, someone who really understands him. And that was never going to be me, not completely.”

You feel a lump forming in your throat, a mix of gratitude and sadness. “You were so important and meant so much to him, Yerim. You still are. He was so happy with you.”

She nods, her dark eyes shining with something that looks like acceptance. “I know. And that’s enough. I want him to be happy, and if that’s with you, then I’m genuinely okay with it. I have always been okay with it.”

The sincerity in her words touches you deeply, and for a moment, you’re overwhelmed. The love, the loss, and the resolution that seems to settle between you.

“Thank you,” you say, meaning it more than you can express.

She reaches out, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “Just take care of him, okay? Keep him in line. All drunk phases of him.”

You exchange a laugh, and you both sit there for a moment longer, the unspoken understanding between you finally at peace.

Jungkook comes down to the beach about two hours later. 

There's a strange flutter in your stomach as your eyes search for him. His gaze sweeps the area, scanning for you amidst the crowd. A few people greet him as he arrives, including Yerim. You know they haven’t really had a chance to talk since the breakup. Not like this, where they can genuinely connect. You notice the subtle tension in his posture as they exchange a few words, his shoulders stiff at first, but it doesn’t take long for him to relax. You stay back, letting them have their moment. 

When he finally spots you, his face lights up.

“Yerim’s not blonde anymore,” he says, his tone wrought with disbelief. She had been bleach blonde the entire time he knew her, and the change seems to have caught him off guard.

You laugh at his astonishment. “I know right? I think black hair really suits her.”

“It does,” he agrees, nodding slightly as if still processing it. You notice his expression, suggesting he’s thinking, perhaps a memory or an inside joke only him and Yerim shared in relation to it. Don’t they say hair holds memories? You don’t pry or ask him further, sensing that this brief flicker of sentimentality, is something that belongs to them only. 

“How are you doing?” he asks you, leaning to kiss your temple.

You pull your jacket a little tighter around yourself. “I was about to head home. It's getting a bit chilly. Sorry, I was going to text you, but I got distracted.”

“Don't worry about it,” he replies, his voice gentle. His hands interlace yours, which doesn’t help the awful fluttering in your tummy. God, this is awful, after all that talk that you didn’t like him that way all those months ago and now you feel like you’re a naïve teenager tripping over your own words all over again. 

“I would've come anyway to walk you back,” he tells you, “I’m not really in the mood to drink tonight.”

“Are you sure you don’t want at least one drink? You’re already here,” you suggest, though part of you is already eager to leave the noise behind.

He shakes his head with a small smile. “Can’t be arsed. I just want to lie down.”

“You know what, me too.”

.

When you’re both back at his place, you both make a beeline for his bed to collapse on the mattress with a shared sigh of relief. 

“I’m so tired. This assignment was driving me insane,” he groans, flinging an arm over his eyes as if to block out the world. 

You roll onto your side to face him, watching the way his chest rises and falls with each breath. “Are you almost done with it?” you ask.

“Yup. All done, actually.”

“That’s actually very impressive.” 

He peeks at you from beneath his arm, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Reaching out, he tenderly strokes your hair, his fingers gentle and reassuring.

Despite the comfort of his touch, your mind drifts back to the conversation with Yerim. Her admitting that she missed him and his presence in her life, weighs heavily on you. It forces you to reflect on your own relationship with him. Losing Jungkook, or no longer having him in your life, makes your stomach sink with dread. Even though it was your idea to date each other to see how things would go, because you trusted him, you realise now just how devastating it would be if you ever had to break up and couldn't remain friends. The idea of a life without him, in any sort of form, feels unbearable.

You shift closer to him, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, needing the physical connection and the comfort of his warmth to anchor your swirling thoughts. 

“Jungkook,” you whisper, the vulnerability in your voice surprising you, “I don’t ever want to lose you.”

His hand pauses in your hair, then resumes its gentle caress, a quiet understanding passing between you. 

“You won’t,” he murmurs, his voice soft but resolute. “You’re my best friend, I’m not going anywhere.” He pauses, his hand trailing to trace your cheek. “And I love you.” He doesn’t anticipate your reply, like the many other times he’s said it, just kisses you deeply.  

In his arms, the exhaustion from your walk along the beach finally catches up with you, and you drift into a peaceful sleep. At some point, you feel him move beside you. He gently lifts you to free himself, careful not to disturb your rest. You peek through half-lidded eyes, watching as he reaches for his noise-cancelling headphones on the bedside table. The quiet thumps of footsteps from the room above - Jimin’s room - fill the air, a familiar annoyance for Jungkook. He has always been sensitive to noise, a trait that often makes you question why he chose the downstairs room, knowing how much he despises the sound of footsteps overhead. He always argues that he preferred being closer to the kitchen and thought Jimin wouldn’t be a heavy walker, but it didn't take long for that assumption to be proven wrong, and now he’s stuck with the downstairs bedroom with the stomper in the room above. 

As he settles back beside you, he gives you a tender peck on the forehead before lying on his back, his headphones securely over his ears. You shift slightly, turning to face him, and find yourself captivated by the peaceful rise and fall of his chest, the even rhythm of his breaths. 

It hits you all at once. That what you feel for him is far more profound than you’ve allowed yourself to admit. Far bigger than just feelings for him, far bigger than plain fond affection for a ploughmans sandwich. No, it’s something far deeper. Something that has quietly, but steadily grown into something that has wrapped itself around your heart, anchoring you to him in a way that’s both exhilarating and, strangely, not as terrifying as its fast development had been. The realisation is both startling and liberating.

You continue to watch him, your chest tightening with the weight of this newfound understanding. The words are right there on the tip of your tongue, and though your heart is pounding, you take a deep breath and whisper, “Jungkook?”

When he doesn’t respond, your heart sinks slightly, but of course he’s not responding, he’s wearing his noise-cancelling headphones. You almost laugh at yourself for forgetting something so silly. But you persist, because maybe saying it now, even if he can’t hear you, will make it easier when you find the courage to tell him later when he’s fully present. 

“Jungkook … I don’t think I can follow my six-month rule.” You take another deep breath, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. This was a big deal. “Jungkook, I think I love you.”

His eyes shoot open, a look of surprise and curiosity flashing across his face. 

“What did you say?” he asks, his tone laced with disbelief. 

He pulls off his headphones, tossing them aside, his eyes locking onto yours with a gaze so intense that your breath catches, a mix of confusion and realisation dawning on you. 

“I think I love you,” you repeat, the words coming out more clearly this time, though your expression betrays your incredulity. “You could hear me that whole time? I’m gonna whack you, you idiot.” You laugh softly, nervous but relieved.

A slow smile spreads across his face as he shifts closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “I could hear all of it. Sorry,” he says, the warmth in his voice wrapping around you. “I love you too. But you already know that.” 

You nudge him. “I can’t believe you made me say it twice.”

He chuckles softly, his hand reaching out to gently brush a stray strand of hair from your face. 

His voice is low and sincere. “I needed to hear it twice to make sure it wasn’t just a dream.”

You roll your eyes. But there’s a softness in your gaze as you look at him. 

“Well, it’s not a dream.”

He closes the small gap between you, his forehead resting gently against yours. 

“I know,” he says, his breath warm against your skin. “And I’m so glad it’s not.”

.

Notes: Wrote the epilogue after 4 years but finished the final 3/4 of it in a day, the writer's block was definitely rampant! As well as just how busy my degree made me. I've started this chapter in so many different ways before and could just never finish it. When I first posted this fic it was months before I started university, and now 4 years later I have my degree plus a job lined up how absolutely insane is that. What’s even more insane is that when I posted this fic 4 years ago I hadn’t had a boyfriend ever or gone through any of the gross feelings leading to having one, which is also probably why I struggled so much with the epilogue when I finished the second chapter. Now myself and my other half have been together 3.5 years (?!?). And when I wrote this chapter, I definitely had him in mind. Gross. So many different takes on love and what it is, this is mine. Also ploughmans sandwich supremacy. Also I haven't been on tumblr in years does anyone still use tumblr 😭 But anyway, that’s a wrap!

[xiaomainlmao]

Basketball Date with Shigino Kisumi

A/n- Happy birthday to the best pink-haired boy (reality wise too because he's just a normal boy living a normal life surrounded by gay friends lol)

----------

Watching Kisumi play was not uncommon to you. He'd often stay behind after classes to practice, and would ask you to tag along with him every now and then. But it still amazed you how he could be goofy one minute, and get very serious the next. Sure he wasn't the best player on his team, but he was pretty good and everyone liked his friendly nature.

"Oi pinky, it's your duty today to lock up the gym before heading home."

"Yea yea I know. I'll leave in a while."

"You're practicing more when they've been waiting so long for you?"

"Well," Kisumi smiled in your direction and waved you over, "I was planning on playing with them for a bit."

"You want to play with me? Even though I'm not even close to your level?" you asked.

"It's alright love, I can always teach you or go easy if you want a match."

"Ergh please do not flirt in front of me, Kisumi. I'm still single you know." the guy elbowed Kisumi while everyone else just laughed before bidding their good-byes.

"Happy birthday, pinky!" "Take good care of yn or I'll steal them from you, cotton candy!"

"They've got some pretty awful nicknames for me, haven't they?" Kisumi shook his head as he passed the ball to you. "Well then, let's see if you learned anything last time."

"From you? No. I had to ask a friend to teach me a couple things."

"Oh? So do you think you can beat me now sugar? Don't worry I'll still go easy on you."

"And you say they've got awful nicknames for you." you tossed the ball up in the air, close to his face, before shoving it away and running towards the basket.

"Well my nicknames for you are a sign of my love for you." you heard him laugh close behind you.

You tried to shoot the ball, which Kisumi managed to block thanks to his height, as he dribbled towards the other side of the court. He easily scored a basket, and he should've been used to it, but he still turns towards you with excited, child-like eyes as he happily exclaims his victory.

Gosh you couldn't even complain when you get to see him like this. Pink hair, the same shade as sakura blossoms, all messy and sticking down. His purple eyes shining with excitement and happiness.

He was making most of the baskets, barely missing any. When he noticed you struggling, he came over to you, and helped you take aim.

"Here let me show you." he said as he picked the ball up. "You position your hands up like this, and using the fingers of your dominant hand, you toss the ball up. See?"

He tossed the ball slightly into the air, where it rolled around twice before falling back into his hands.

"Here, why don't you give it a try." he held your hips to help get you into the right position, and then held your hands to show you how to position the ball, laying his head on your shoulder as he repeated how to do it again.

The proximity flustered you. You were glad the others had already left, otherwise that would have been embarrassing. You should've gotten used to it, considering how many times he'd shown you in the same way, but perhaps you couldn't learn thanks to the proximity.

Hell this one time he kissed your cheek before asking you to shoot the ball. How were you supposed to maintain your composure after that?

It took a couple tries, but you managed to get three baskets in. Kisumi ruffled your hair as he praised you for the successs.

"Do you want to go again?" You nodded. "Alright, this time I'll start with the ball yeah?

Kisumi's purple eyes quickly scanned the area around you, as he dribbled the ball through in-between your legs to get past. He quickly positioned his hands above his head as he took aim, tossing the ball right into the basket, again.

"So much for going easy." You mumbled, going over to catch the ball before it rolled away further.

"Sorry darling, I'm just used to playing for my team you know." Kisumi laughed as he wiped his chin with the backside of his hand. "Do you want to go again?"

"No~ I'm tired." You whined as Kisumi nodded and started packing things up. "Would you like to head somewhere else then?"

"Oh yes I wanted to take you to this one park! This will probably be the last wave of the Sakura blooms this year, so we'd better enjoy it."

"Ah~ I'm so lucky that Sakura blooms can be seen till my birthday huh. Maybe we should kiss under one."

"Kisu you kiss under mistletoe, not sakura blooms."

"As if you've read all pieces of literature regarding where you can and cannot kiss." he pouted.

"Okay fine, just hurry up. You also had plans to meet up with your friends after this, remember?"

"Of course. I wonder what kind of 'surprise' they planned this time. I hope it's not as weird as sticking up the image of a pink unicorn on the wall like last time."

"A p-pink unicorn? Oh my god hahaha." you laughed.

"Hey not funny. Ugh never mind, let me just lock up the gym and then I'll catch up with you, yea?"

"Alright, love you Kisu."

"I love you too, yn."

----------

[crwn-nrth]

Word tag game!

Thank you thank you @sentfromwolves for the tag! I've always wanted to do the find the word tag game.

I'm doing this for VH wip and my words are: rust, ember, damp, breath, teeth

(sadly i did not have the words rust or damp)

Ember --- Chapter: Dream log #256

The world comes back into focus slowly, in drips of color and sound. It’s like swimming in molasses or floating through space as I wrestle with my subconscious. I try to cling to the warm fuzzy feeling enveloping me on all sides but then a loud click breaks through the haze, and my eyes flutter open again. It's late outside, or that's what I assume. My legs dangle off the armchair and the glowing embers of the dying fireplace are the only source of light bathing the dark wooden floor panels in a dull orange hue, emphasizing the warmth and forcing my eyes shut. 

Seconds, hours, years later, a hand running through my hair guides me back to the land of the living. It's large and callous and gentle as it passes through my locks and I let myself drift further, tethered only by the soothing motions. 

A rumble. "You left your porch light on." The deep vibrato tone has my mind settling in bliss. Safe, home. A light tug at the end of my hair informs me that the voice is waiting for a response. 

"Left it on for you." I mumble, prying my eyes open. Kind blue eyes smile down at me.

 "You don't have to do that." There is a hint of laughter in his words, some subtle joke that my hazy brain can't catch on to. 

"How else would you find your way home?" 

The rumbling laughter that follows starts low and soft, bringing a smile to my face. Then it sharpens and fades, ebbing and flowing like the reeling of the tide, surrounding me from all sides. It's everywhere and nowhere all at once. 

It's a sharp slap of icy water to the face.

Breath --- Chapter 4: The Universe Loves Meddling

The kid was naively unaware what hopelessness does to a soul.

My gaze caught onto the puddle at my feet. The water shimmered in the streetlight as my reflection stared at me with disdain. A droplet of water from a pipe above disturbed the surface and by the time the ripples died down, my reflection had been replaced by a familiar sight. The cold blue eyes that bore into my soul and the distinctive square jaw stirred an aching within me. Time slowed and a voice echoed within my mind, "but you know?"

Yes. it forces man to do the unthinkable; it chips away and corrupts the soul as it pushes away all morals. It forces man to do what he would never have done otherwise. The actions that a man makes under this despondent spell, he regrets till his dying breath.

The ghost said no more and time resumed. The sounds of bustling market swelled up around me, pulling me from the reflection and away from its icy hold.

Teeth --- Chapter 8: This is not a Library

I let the knock ring through the place, hopelessly hoping that the kid would simply leave. Unfortunately, i had horrible luck and the kid was horribly stubborn. I slowly made my way through the the maze of stacked books, inching closer to the door as the knocks refused to cease. As I finally found the way out of the fragile labyrinth, the kid's muffled voice reached out, "Hello! Mr. Ryder! I know you're home!"

I let in a deep breath. Murder is wrong.

Before the kid could begin his incessant knocking once again, I threw open the front door.

The kid tumbled a little at the sudden opening but righted himself quick enough, flashing his blinding smile. I entertained the thought of knocking all his teeth out for just a single moment.

“Good morning Mr. Ryder!” he chirped.

“You have already said that to me, kid hero.” I muttered, thinking about those nuisance messages.

His smile only brightened, “yep i did! But I can finally say it in person! And you can finally say it back cause you never reply to the messages.”

“No.”

------

I don't have anyone specific to tag so whoever sees it please feel free to give this a go.

your words are: sunshine, shadow, ghost, and hero!

[jiminsproof]

the most difficult tag game to ever attack me in my hour of need (what she means is a saturday) ✨️

I was tagged by @kimchokejin to post my top 5 of bangtan songs!!!!! haha THIS IS FINE!!! very happy to have an opportunity to talk about my favourite songs but VERY SAD I HAVE TO CHOOSE. 😭 thank you Ashley, reading your post was an amazing experience and I recommend it to all. 😩👌 you're lucky you're not only smart, but also funny and pretty, otherwise you'd catch these hands in the metaphorical parking lot of life

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO and no specific order:

🍷dionysus🍷

I wanted to start with a song that actually got me into bangtan!! JUNG HOSEOK YOUR MIND. I think I've told this to some of my lovely mutuals here before, but to me this song is really built like a rock song if that makes sense?? the build up and structure is so similar!! but it is also so HIP HOP and CATCHY and lyrics are ABSOLUTE ART. as a greek mythology hoe i had no choice but to stan bangtan sonyeondan. it is also widely known as natalia's wine song among my friends so you can say i like it a little.

🥲outro: tear🥲

I love this masterpiece beyond words. If I had to pick just one bangtan song to listen to forever, I'd possibly pick this one though PLEASE DON'T TELL MOM* (*my other bias). This song got me through a lot!! The lyrics are so beautiful and heartbreaking, and it hits even more after you know the context in which they were written. YOONGI MARRY ME as usual he is a genius he said so himself but also Hobi kills me every single time with his performance of the last verse. I have NEVER not cried watching a live performance of him rapping it. The emotions he gets across are... pardon my French but holy fuckity fuck.

😩lie😩

speaking of my other bias... LISTEN. I love Filter as any other folk BUT if I have to pick just one out of Jimin's solo songs, it has to be this one. It has it all, beautiful performance, identity crisis vibes, stunning vocals of the baby himself, AND THOSE LYRICS TOO. It hits so much especially if you've had to hide yourself in one way or another, and it can be applied to so many situations - power of art and Park Jimin. also, in my mind, this one and bs&t are connected...? idk if by the vibes or the era, but I love both of them almost equally, though this one still hits harder. also, although the performance completes it very well and Jimin can express the emotions so well through movement (one of my very favourite things about him as a performer), it can easily stand on its own and it's still so captivating!!

🦋butterfly🦋

This song is so beautiful in EVERY SINGLE WAY. The soft vocals, the longing, the lyrics!! It's such a good depiction of young love (or just very soft love, sort of 'too-good-to-be-true' love), NOT TO MENTION THE HARUKI MURAKAMI REFERENCE I SEE YOU KIM NAMJOON (and I love you). It might be my favourite track from the whole HYYH era actually though please don't ask me 'and what about [insert track] cause I WILL change my mind. The vocal line shines in this one, not only for their skill but PRIMARILY their emotional expression. I'm a big fan in case you haven't noticed??

🦢 black swan 🦢

I honestly love this song so much!! Not only is the concept beautiful and the performance is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING HAVE NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE (bangtan sonyeondan trendsetters), and even the mv is something you can watch multiple times in one go because it's so aesthetically pleasing, but also there is the song IN ITSELF. It's so raw and honest, and let me preach about the lyrics once again (KIM NAMJOON!!! CATCH THESE HANDS!!!) - it's such an amazing depiction of an artistic burnout, oh my god. the idea in itself that the first time an artist (or here more so a dancer) dies is when they no longer have energy to continue with their craft... IT'S SO POWERFUL.

🤧epilogue: young forever🤧 no this is not 6 you just can't count sorry you had to find out this way

this one is just always going to hit different, and even more so the live version. the lyrics are... I can't even stress it enough, but they might have altered something in my brain chemistry. The idealisation of youth, never wanting your best moments to end, but also knowing that there is no way to stop the time from passing - WOW. WOW. Also I especially love the lines about running endlessly towards your dream even if it hurts you - it just HITS SO HARD. Even though in terms of the way it's built, it's quite a simple song, it really gets the message across perfectly and I love it for its straightforwardness!!

honorable mentions: whole bts discography actually but especially autumn leaves, mic drop (my most streamed bangtan song), boy meets evil, epiphany (I WISH IT MADE TO THIS LIST TF it's so important to me), paradise, outro: her (BIPHOBIC THAT I CAN'T PUT IT ON THIS LIST), magic shop, intro: persona, first love, make it right, home, intro: singularity (AND SAME WITH THISONEHSIFKDK) .. ok I should stop???

hello to my fellow sufferers 🫂💗 I'm doing this out of love I swear, and also NO PRESSURE AT ALL this shit hurts: @pjm-1 , @wistfulocean, @shrimpmsg, @aprylynn, @hopeonthestreets, @hopeinthebox, @cordiallyfuturedwight, @ki-limepie. 💗

[noonegetsleftbehind]

Get To Know The Mun

------The Basics!

Name: J

Pronouns: he/him

Zodiac Sign: libra

Single/Taken: taken by @viralstars for the last 10 years as of mar 23 and married for 3 as of oct 31 lol (ewww gross it's like i love you or something)

------Three Facts!

1- i cosplayed ledger's joker for years and used to appear outside of the theater i lived above to hand out candy on halloween as him (incidentally, the euphoria i had from wearing that costume was my egg breaking) i also wrote him for for about 10 years in some way shape or form (he was my first indie blog on tumblr and how i met my wife.) i now write 2019's joker here @smilewithapurpose (the joker is my all time favorite fictional character and i cannot put into words what the character means to me)

2- i have a tattoo of freddie mercury and it means the world to me

3- my hair has not been its natural color since like... 2016?

------Experience!

Platforms Used: started out doing fanfic so fanfic.net and AO3 then moved to tumblr and also use discord for it too

Plotting / Winging It / Memes: all of the above tbh. i like doing all of them. sometimes it works best to have a plot or at least a small idea of what we want to do. then other times it works out to just wing it and see what happens and all of a sudden you have something that's so awesome and you're obsessed with. i cannot tell you how many of my favorite ships and threads have started with a meme.

------Muse Preference!

Gender: i typically would say about... 95% of my muses are male and i lean more comfortable writing male as a preference. most of my friends growing up were male too and i still find it easier to speak to and befriend males so i suppose that's part of why it's most comfortable to me.

Multi or Single: so lol i do have an re multi here @infectati and my long ignored regular multi that i would love to be able to go back to here @writingxonthewall but i often have trouble keeping centered on a multi. it's a me thing because i start having an overload of aesthetics and info etc and i get weird about my muses having their own space. however.... i LOVE writing with multis and i fully support them! <3

Least Favorite Faceclaim(s): ....? listen... i don't have time to give a shit. you do you. it's your muse. your blog. i don't have to like them or agree with them.

------Fluff / Angst / Smut!

Fluff: godddd i love fluff. admittedly lmao i probably spend the LEAST amount of time writing it of anything. i should probably spend a little more time with it, but that angst is just so damn good!

Angst: listen. not only is it the name of one of my favorite rammstein songs, but goddamn. i. LOVE. writing. ANGST. it's my favorite. i feel it catches my attention the most and i am able to explore aspects of my character and their relationship with other muses involved so deeply when writing it. i feel it is is my strongest creative drive.

Smut: yup. it doesn't have to be spicy sunday in this bitch. i love writing smut. there. i said it. i love it. sometimes it can be really in depth and emotional. something raw and intense. sometimes just all out naughty. sometimes sweet. there's a lot of depth to it and it can also bring out depth and emotions in my characters that i otherwise wouldn't get writing anything else. it's a valid genre and one that needs a fuck ton less stigma to it.

Stolen From: @idolkills and @deadkenndy Tagging: allllll of you <3

[blaiddydbrokeit]

I posted 2,196 times in 2022

That's 634 more posts than 2021!

264 posts created (12%)

1,932 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@criedlikeatrueknight

@unxpctedlygreat

@fairyblue-alchemist

@officialfelixfraldarius

@pinkbaron

I tagged 506 of my posts in 2022

#dimi breaks the silence - 110 posts

#fire emblem three houses - 64 posts

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd - 54 posts

#fe3h ocs - 43 posts

#fire emblem warriors three hopes - 39 posts

#allan montgomery blaiddyd - 39 posts

#felix hugo fraldarius - 38 posts

#fodlan frames - 23 posts

#ask - 22 posts

#rufus thierry blaiddyd - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it was also the first time i was hospitalized for psychosis and put on meds that i blamed my lack of sense of taste on for the next 7 years

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There is only one correct way to play Dimitri in Three Hopes

Play like Dimitri:

-break everything whether you mean to or not

-break Areadbhar from one single Atrocity by accident because Blaiddyd keeps activating even though it's SUPPOSED to be 20% chance

-kill every last one of them, good thing you can't damage your allies anyway

-weapon triangle? No, I'm charging straight into the frontlines.

101 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#4

I'm in a mood to think about the Faerghus Fathers helping out with each others' kids. Was Rodrigue the designated babysitter father for the Faerghus Four, who is patient and never gets frustrated when Dimitri accidentally breaks something because he's seen it all from Lambert before? Did Matthias tell silly stories about the things that he did with Lambert in the academy with a wistful look on his face? Could Lambert have emptied out a day or two of work just to take the kids camping, and taught them about cooking over a campfire while Sylvain tries to be cheeky? Gunnar meeting Rodrigue for tea to bring their houses closer in understanding, while Glenn, Felix and Ingrid played games?

There is just so much I want to think about.

129 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#3

I'm not sure how many of my fellow chronic illness pals know this, but when someone says "what are you even stressed about? You aren't even working/studying/whatever daily grind activity, you're just at home lazing everyday", that's not true at all!

You're stressed because your body is trying to keep systems running even through messed up, straight up wrong or otherwise abnormal signals. Different systems are messing with each other and all your little cells are just as frustrated and confused as you are. Your entire body is under a kind of stress that isn't externally applied and people seem to forget that exists a lot.

You're also stressed because the world is moving so quickly and you might be struggling to keep up, or even to cope with drastic world change, or even simply worrying about your own future. You are overwhelmed, it is real, and it is valid.

It is okay to be stressed even if you're not working full time or pursuing your Dreams™️ or studying, even if you're just laying in bed fogging in and out of sleep. Just remember that.

135 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#2

Fire Emblem Three Blaiddyds

See the full post

138 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Today I am appreciating Rodrigue's little hints of playful cheekiness. Even in his 40s, for all his refined noble etiquette and calm maturity, he still has his moments of being funny.

Things as implicit as pointing out that Felix is good-looking, all while unsubtly suggesting where it comes from (him), to things much more explicit, like that line of his when you order him to attack "Come, let us catch them napping!" in a tone that is akin to a child playing a prank with their friends.

Rodrigue really isn't as composed and perpetually elegant as you think. Lambert, Matthias and Rodrigue were once all feisty messes and you cannot tell me that Rodrigue was the only logical, level-headed and reasonable one. Matthias? Would throw hands and joke around, but is strategic in getting things done. Lambert? Would throw hands and skip classes from time to time, but cares about others and knows how to lead. Rodrigue? Would joke around and enable his friends' dumbasssery, but knows how to be decisive and assertive when it matters. They had brain cells. They just chose not to use it, as teens tend to do.

Though, now that makes me sad, considering how Sylvain, Dimitri and Felix are all comparatively much less carefree than their fathers were in their time. That somehow for all that they present, it's more than clear still that the future weighs on their mind as much, if not more than the present does.

170 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[a-kaash-me-outside]

everything he's ever wanted

part of my cheater cheater collab

♡ atsumu x freader ~ 6300 words

♡ nsfw - MINORS DNI!!

♡ tw: dark content!! dubcon/noncon, intoxication, cheating, manipulation, cum eating, crying

♡ basically u think ur fucking osamu bc ur so drunk and atsumu takes adv of tht

a playlist i made to go along with the manipulation vibes

♡ the party had simultaneously gone by so quickly and dragged on so long even though you were the one that brought it up in the first place and convinced your boyfriend, osamu, to take you and atsumu to tag along

♡ but your concept of time was out the window along with your balance and partying mood

♡ and you were drunk, so drunk, hadn't been out in so long and were trying to make up for it for some stupid reason, and your feet were killing you and you wanted to go home, but osamu was having so much fun so you tried to wait it out

♡ osamu could see you weren't having fun and as the caring, loving boyfriend he is, was going to cut his night short and take you home, because you were much more important than staying out for a few more hours

♡ "baby, i'm taking you home. you're tired and very drunk and i've got you, okay?"

♡ it takes a bit of time, and several attempts to turn him down, but osamu eventually agrees. atsumu is, after all, the one single person that he would ever trust to get you home safely and put you to bed without having to worry so avidly that he wouldn't enjoy the night anyway

♡ osamu kisses you quickly and says something you don't quite catch, but the room is spinning so you don't stick around to ask for clarification. you just want some fresh air.

♡ you're walking home, swaying from side to side, hopping over the small cracks in the sidewalk with atsumu's hand hovering over your arm just in case you lose balance completely

♡ he doesn't want to cross any lines, push through any barriers for both you and osamu. it doesn't matter how infatuated or obsessed atsumu is with you or how much he thinks about you, his brother's unobtainable, but incredibly gorgeous girlfriend, atsumu would never betray his brother, not like this.

♡ but his fingers skim over your arm and you don't move an inch, don't even acknowledge that he's there. his touch flows, so soft that it's tickling the pads of his fingers, and the flat of his hand is resting on your lower back.

♡ you're so out of it that you don't notice or you don't care or you just don't mention it, but... you're not saying anything, so it can't be crossing any line then, right? at least, not ones important enough for you to remember when you're inebriated.

♡ the hand on your lower back becomes stronger, more assertive, more confident in it's placement and in return, you're more lovey, moulding to the warmth and then leaning, on purpose or otherwise, into atsumu's shoulder with a delighted hum.

♡ "mmm, samu, thank you for walking me home, can't wait to get in bed with youuu" ~~

♡ hearing his brother's name come out of your mouth in reference to him makes atsumu recoil, cringing so viscerally that he almost immediately reprimands you, but the correction doesn't dare fall off his tongue.

♡ he couldn't force it if he tried, because you reach up, arm stretching to cusp his face in your hands, so soft against his jaw, and he loses every single train of thought he had.

♡ but that's not enough, because you turn your head and place a kiss wherever your lips land, not wanting to strain yourself. your lips purse against the base of atsumu's neck and they linger, but are gone too soon regardless.

♡ you're giggling because you're warm and your boyfriend is walking you home and you're drunk and happy and what's there not to be smiling and laughing about? you are a perfect state of absolute bliss with a syrupy sweet adoration that atsumu has to pretend is actually for him and he can't help himself-

♡ the instant that you stop walking, both feet planted on the ground for no reason other than the fact that you didn't want to take another step, atsumu kisses you. he takes your face in his hands, lifts your view towards him, looks you directly in the eyes just in case something'll click, and then he kissed you, hard and breathlessly, because he's always wanted to.

♡ god, it would have been so much easier if you just recognized. if you recognized it was the wrong twin in that moment, the rest of the night would have been so much easier.

♡ but you don't recognize him, not when he touches you or looks at you or kisses you. you kiss back, no hesitation in the way you match his intensity, murmuring osamu's name against his lips and, fuck, he's going to have fun tonight.

♡ because you keep calling him osamu the entire walk home, laughing and not registering when an answer comes back that feels a bit more cocky than you're used to, but it's fine. it has to be fine because he's about to get everything he's ever wanted.

♡ when you walk through the door, kicking your shoes off right in the middle of the entrance so that atsumu has to step over top of them, you’re already whining about wanting to be in bed, not straying far enough to be out of atsumu's sight, but enough to coerce him along

♡ you push through the door into your's and osamu's shared bedroom, stepping through the threshold like it's nothing, because it is nothing. this is your room, your private place of residence. you enter easily and without a second thought, and you expect him to do the same.

♡ but this wasn't atsumu's room. he had only been inside on a handful of occasions, frequently spending time in other rooms of the house, but never having a reason to be in your personal space.

♡ atsumu's thankful that you're drunk for many reasons and one of them is the fact that you won't notice the small amount of hesitance that runs through his mind as he steps past the doorframe.

♡ and you don't notice, much too busy with the shirt that's too much work to lift over your head and the pants that are much too tight, buttoned too neatly for your current lack of dexterity

♡ "want this off, samu, help."

♡ this time, atsumu doesn't hesitate, stepping forward in 2 large strides to meet you at the edge of the bed. he takes his time despite how whiny you are to get the articles off of you, but your fussy discomfort can wait.

♡ he wants to revel in it, the fickle impatience you're experiencing and how it makes your eyebrows knit together in the middle of your face and your bottom lip jut out. he leans down, pressing a kiss against it, because he can, and because your pout dissolves momentarily as you giggle at the contact

♡ atsumu's fingers skim against your stomach, migrating back and forth between the hem of your shirt and the waistband of your pants. so many options laid out in front of him and all he has to do is choose.

♡ when you murmur out osamu's name, egging him to move on, he listens, lifting up your shirt, palms sculpting to your sides as he pushes up the fabric.

♡ once he catches sight of your perfect skin, exposed only for him, he starts to lose himself, much too urgent to teasingly strip you. your shirt’s in a heap on the floor and his fingers are fumbling with the clasps to your bra, impatient in his own endeavor to see your perfect body

♡ “need help with this too, baby?” he asks, but it’s already undone, straps sliding down your arms with atsumu’s guiding push.

♡ he bends down, forehead against your shoulder, nose nuzzled right into you, inhaling your scent so deeply that it almost makes him dizzy. your perfume has worn off, subtle hints lingering, but ultimately the only thing he can smell is you.

♡ if it weren’t for his overwhelming need to kiss you, to gawk at you, to taste you, to feel you, he could sit right here, pressed against your skin, breathing you deep for the rest of his life. he can feel the blood rushing from his head, cock growing harder in his jeans as he inhales you

♡ lips press wherever he can reach, licking his lips between each one so you can feel the cool air where his lips used to be whenever he reluctantly pulls away.

♡ wet marks trail down your body, caress roaming briskly so he feel more of you, as much as he can get his hands on, he can't stop, you feel just like he's imagined

♡ he lowers to the ground, lips dragging against your stomach until he's eye-level with your waist. the button's much easier for him to undo, no difficulty unfastening and tugging down your pants for you to step out of them.

♡ your panties are so tight, taut against your puffy lips, a tiny dark spot drawing him in like a man dying of thirst.

♡ fuck, he needs to taste you. he knows that there's an unofficial timer counting down in his head, one that runs out with his brother coming home and all of his dreams coming to an end, but he has to get between your legs, shove his face so deep in your cunt that he'll be tasting it forever

♡ "pretty girl, lay down, let me take care of ya, okay?"

♡ you don't object, but he's not sure that with the state you're in right now, you completely understand the implications of that sentence. your movements don't have nearly as much control as they normally do, back falling against the bed almost instantaneously with your hips.

♡ he wants to continue to take his time with you, but he's getting restless, skin crawling with an overwhelming need, stomach empty, hungry for you and only you. he rolls your panties down your thighs, calves, throws them to the side, and, in a moment, nudges your legs apart

♡ his arms snake beneath the undersides of your knees, hands clasping together under your lower back. he pulls you close, leans in closer, salivating because your folds are glistening. if he didn't have such a hold on you, he'd drag a single digit between them just to test the waters

♡ he'll just have to use his tongue instead

♡ the second his tongue dips into your heat, there's no going back. whatever ounce of reluctance that was buried deep inside has evaporated, gone with all self-control.

♡ it's all teeth and tongue, lips, nose, and chin, any bit of his face that he can rub against your slippery cunt. he can't breathe, too excited, too smothered. he'd rather die than give this up for a second.

♡ you're startled at first, confusion leaving your lips, evident on your face if he looked up for a quarter of a second, but he couldn't, he doesn't, stays buried between your legs, surrounded by you, thighs pressed against his ears so when you tell him...

♡ "stop for second, samu, wait, what? baby, hold on, what's happenin?"

♡ he can't hear a thing, not that he would've stopped if he'd heard you crystal clear.

♡ you taste just as sweet as he thought, maybe even sweeter, hints of salt and thicker than he imagined, swallowing whatever was too much for his mouth. you coat his tongue, prodding at your hole because every time he does, you gush for him even more.

♡ when you give in, not quite understanding, but knowing that warmth is spreading to every inch of your skin and your throat is getting dry, your body relaxes, melts into the bed, hands parting his natural roots. you're far too lethargic to fight it anyway, so you might as well enjoy it.

♡ atsumu could stay here forever, gracious and happy as he sloppily worked his tongue between your lips. if he wasn't so pussy-drunk, he'd be more meticulous, care more about the shape of his tongue and the placement, but he's so hard, cock straining against the insides of his jeans, and his tongue feels so good flicking over and jabbing into your hole, but he needs to be inside you.

♡ he pulls away, watching a thin string connect his lips to yours, cock throbbing at the thought of being surrounded by it, and he whimpers, unapologetically because you won't remember it in the morning and he's been waiting so fucking long to take you

♡ "samu, you came home early for me, lemme repay you, know you love it, baby."

♡ you sit up and before he knows it, you're already crawling towards him, hands out towards his belt, innocent pleas in your eyes that he couldn't deny even if the plea wasn't for something he's fisted his cock to on many occasions.

♡ atsumu places his hands over yours, helping you along as you try to undo his belt and button. you're fumbling even with his guidance, rushing to get it off as you scooch closer and closer with each passing second.

♡ you don't waste any time once his cock is released from it's confines, breath hitching for a moment as you sit back into your heels and just look at him. it makes atsumu's heart flutter in a way that it shouldn't, the admiration in your eyes as you look up at him.

♡ your mind is racing, not all there, and you don't remember osamu's cock perfectly, but this feels different in a way. it feels different against your palm, longer and thicker, slightly more curved, purplish head with precome beading at the slit. you have to open your mouth wider, you think, maybe, jaw aching as you take him into your mouth.

♡ oh my god, your mouth is so warm, hot wrapped around his length, head immediately bobbing so fast that he has no idea how you’re not dizzy. you don't give him any time to think or react, your fingers digging into his thighs, pushing down his jeans further as he slides down your throat deeper

♡ you're choking, gagging on his length, eyes screwed shut, throat sore, speed slowing, but that won't do. his cock sliding against your tongue, mouth so wet and warm, lips tight like a perfect little hole, he can't get enough.

♡ it felt good when you were in control, but when he grabs a fistful of your hair, it gets so much better. he's setting the pace now, no regard for the spit he's fucking out of your mouth or his balls slapping against your chin, just enjoying how willingly your throat accepts every inch.

♡ your nails are digging into his thighs, arms weak, but trying, as they push against him, protests garbled because your mouth is so full. he can't understand you, so he keeps fucking your throat harder, harder, harder, harder until his grip on your head is shaking

♡ it takes you far too long to feel okay again, out of breath, coughing to regain composure and to get more air in your lungs and because there's finally nothing in your throat, blinking away tear after fat tear, wiping them with the backs of your hands.

♡ "samu, fuck, baby, that hurt a lot."

♡ your tone is hoarse, eyes evading from shyness or fear, it didn't really matter. he was moving you in the midst of it all, positioning you on your back again, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist, but they keep sliding so he places them on his shoulders.

♡ and it should be a warning sign, a cautionary tale, something to deter him from going too far again, but fuck, if you don't look so pretty trying to feel better. fuck, if it doesn't make his cock twitch when you sniffle from the tears. fuck, if he wouldn't be lying if he said your voice didn't sound even sweeter just like this.

♡ "sorry, doll, just felt too good."

♡ he can hear how disingenuous it sounds, just the apology, not the rest, but you don't catch it. you nod along, no verbal acceptance, nothing to tell him it's okay, but humming anyway.

♡ but he doesn't wait for a reply or an okay to move on from what had just happened, it doesn't even enter his mind as a possibility. he's so close. if he pressed his hips forward the tiniest bit, he could feel you. his cock won't stop leaking, dripping precome against the sheets, going to waste.

♡ so he rests his cock between your legs, rubbing against you slowly, just feeling the drag of your skin against his, leaking onto your stomach.

♡ his head slips between your lips, no hand to guide it, moving with gravity and the push of his hips. when he feels the warmth, the wetness coating his spongy head, his hips buck on instinct, rutting again in an attempt to replicate the feeling again

♡ he rubs the tip between your folds, hips canting forwards to feel even more of you, exhaling all of the air out of his lungs when you envelope the head

♡ youre so wet, so fucking wet, pussy drooling onto the sheets below you, and atsumu is staring in awe, swallowing thickly at how involuntary your need is for him

♡ “want me fuck this slutty pussy, dontcha?”

♡ he mumbles it under his breath, not giving you even a moment to think about it before sinking into you, burning hot walls choking his cock almost immediately

♡ he had only used his tongue, hadn’t stuck a single finger inside you to prepare your tight hole for his girth. he didn’t let you adjust either, slid right inside you, pulling you onto him and pressing his hips to meet you until they were flush against your thighs

♡ he wasn’t regretting it. not even as the size took your breath away or the subtle protests left your throat, wasn’t pulling out or slowing down, either, only offered an unapologetic apology as he kept a steady pace

♡ “baby, samu, canyou slow down m please, cant take it, hurts.”

♡ “sorry, pretty, i know, sorry.”

♡ he couldn’t regret it, not when your fleshy walls hugged his cock so tight, squeezed every inch, arousal slicking him with every thrust, the most lewd noises bouncing off the walls right back to his ears only encouraging him to fuck into you harder

♡ once you get used to it, the pain of the stretch subsiding, you won’t stop squirming, moving, whimpering and moaning with every drive of his hips, muttering words too incoherently to make out

♡ you look so cute beneath him. your hair is a mess, head pressed so far into the mattress, unable to stay still as atsumu fucks you harder. you’re not looking at him, can’t focus on one thing for too long, but he can’t stop looking at you

♡ he couldnt if he tried, eyes glued to you as you convulse, clenching around him, walls fluttering as you cum from penetration alone

♡ and, well, atsumu's obviously better for you anyway, right? because you're fucked out beneath him, recovering from your orgasm, already being driven to another one, eyes rolled back so far that you can feel the strain, tears streaming down your cheeks, sobbing so pretty, begging him for more

♡ "please, please, please, it's so good, more please, feels so good, samu, fuck, oh my god, please don't stop, baby, please."

♡ you won't stop asking for more, praising his every motion, slurring gratitudes, and sobbing out osamu's name, telling him that he's never fucked you this good before, because he hasn't

♡ osamu has never fucked you this good before, with such urgency and desperation. atsumu's fucking you as if this is the last time he'll ever get to, because it will be. he's savoring it, committing to memory how your gummy walls massage his length, how perfectly tight your hole is, how eagerly you're sucking him.

♡ your hole is so snug around his fat cock, it feels like he has to force his way inside with every slam of his hips, like he’s splitting you open, your cunt molding around every vein, every curve, clenching around every throb.

♡ it's like you were made for him.

♡ you were made for him.

♡ you were made for h i m.

♡ he knows from praises tumbling from your lips that he’s pleasing you in ways that osamu just isn’t capable of, that’s not atsumu’s fault. every single one of your reactions is pushing him further, harder.

♡ on your walk back, he had some sort of resolve, could separate his wants from reality, from what could actually happen, but now the line was blurred. no, not blurred, it was completely gone. he was getting exactly what he wanted, he could have whatever he wanted, nothing to stop him, nothing to hold him back

♡ and you just kept solidifying it in his mind, kept proving him right time and time again with your noises and your involuntary jerks, how you would cum around his cock without even announcing it, so absolutely wrecked that it wasn’t even a thought in your mind

♡ he slinks deeper and deeper into this power-hungry state, never wanting the feeling to stop, your orgasms a necessity for him, for his pleasure. his regret and remorse are slipping through a shallow grip that he has no intent on retaking, justifications as useless as your warnings of discomfort

♡ it’s not enough. not enough. need more. he needs more. needs it harder. has one arm wrapped around your thighs, tight together against his chest, one digging into your hip, slamming his cock inside of you.

♡ he’s savored it for too long. it’s burned into his mind, the way your folds part for his head, the image of your hole sucking him in as he pulled back on repeat every time he closed his eyes. he didn’t need to savor it any longer. he needed everything you were capable of giving and more.

♡ the uncomfortable groans turn to winces. the winces turn to soft mutters of osamu’s name. the soft mutters turn to audible wait, wait… waits. the waits turn to stops followed by pleases. your hands are on him, no strength behind your pushes as you try to ground yourself

♡ “wait, stop, please, it’s too much, fuck, it hurts, stop for a second, please.”

♡ but it’s okay. it’s fine. ♡ who cares?

♡ atsumu doesn’t have to worry about that. atsumu doesn’t have to listen to you. atsumu doesn’t care. because… why would he?

♡ atsumu isn’t fucking you so relentlessly, so deep that the tip of his cock is kissing your cervix, pain shooting through your lower body, spreading through your chest, eyes closing harshly so tears don’t come spilling, breath taken from your lungs.

♡ atsumu isn’t choking you so brutally that your fingernails are drawing blood from his wrists, grip like it’s life or death as you claw at whatever part of his arm you can reach. each thrust somehow cutting off even more of your airway

♡ atsumu isn’t throwing you around the bed, manhandling and forcing you into positions so violently that in your drunken, wobbly state, you fall off the bed, crashing and colliding with the floor. the humiliation almost worse than the pain.

♡ atsumu isn’t the one that gets onto the floor, onto his knees, and lifts your lower half up to him, ass against his thighs as he slides back into you, fucking you mercilessly, subtle burns forming on your back from the rough carpet.

♡ atsumu isn’t muttering praises, your name, whatever actually comes to his mind as you grip onto him continually, orgasms like rolling waves, growing in intensity and subsiding, but never truly leaving.

♡ you’re sobbing, snot and tears and spit sloppy all over your face, quiet attempts to stop him still spilling despite his active ignorance. and it should turn him off, but it makes it so much better, so much more real, the effects he has on you.

♡ and it pushes him over the edge, your strangled, weak pleas and contrasting bodily reactions, and just how perfectly made for him you are.

♡ “gonna cum, pretty girl, gonna cum, doll, deep inside ya, pretty.”

♡ it’s not a request, but you seem to think it is, eyes blown wide for the first time tonight, panic instantly taking over your features, your limbs.

♡ “no. don’t. please, i can’t- i’m not- you can’t. don’t. please, samu, don’t. seriously.”

♡ he almost wishes that you didn’t protest, not because he needs you to want it, but for your sake. it’s so easy, so much more satisfying to press his hips against your flesh, balls twitching against your ass as he unloads deep inside you, cock pulsing so powerfully that you can feel each one, can match it to each thick rope that paints you

♡ you want it to stop. you wait for it to stop. every stream feels like it’s the last one, like any more would spill out of your hole, no matter how tightly clenched it was around him. it doesn’t spill out, atsumu makes sure of that. and it’s not the last one, there’s still more, so much you can taste it, so much that you’re not sure how it’s all stuffed inside of you.

♡ “perfect, so perfect for me, baby, just for me, all mine, marked ya so yer all mine.”

♡ he’s half-tempted to leave it inside of you, let it drip out through the night, stain your sheets dark with his cum, and let you find it in the morning when you stand up and feel it drool onto your thigh.

♡ but he can’t do that. he knows that he can’t, pulls out slowly, chest heaving as he reaches down, two fingers to catch whatever milky seed drips out of you, pushing it back into your gaping hole, fluttering so tenuously from being so empty.

♡ he rubs the thick, sticky substance over your puffy, red lips, over your swollen, sensitive clit, and you’re crying again, trying so hard to squeeze your legs together without squeezing the rest of the cum out of your ruined cunt

♡ “yer so messy, baby”

♡ he couldn’t keep it inside you, he would’ve missed this pretty fucking sight.

♡ and he couldn’t keep it inside you, because osamu would never do that. and the person fucking you right now isn’t atsumu. the person who came so fucking deep inside of you isn’t atsumu.

♡ it’s osamu.

♡ osamu is the name falling from your lips and osamu is, in your mind, the person who is fucking you so rough that your orgasms are coming, repeatedly, constantly, from force, not enjoyment, the person who, against your very verbal and phsyical nonconsent, came inside of you.

♡ but you won’t remember in the morning how horrible “your boyfriend” was to you, anyway, no. you’ll wake up with some bruises from the fall, a soreness in the depths of your throat, some burns you’ll never be able to find, and a foggy recollection that… that.. someone?? something happened last night, but the details will be sparse

♡ the details will be so sparse and the memory will be a grain of sand compared to the mountain that is the actuality of the situation. you probably won’t remember this moment, despite the time that’s ticked by and how badly he wishes that you will.

♡ he doesn’t harp on it for too long, is too busy soaking in the aftermath that he’s created.

♡ fuck, you look so perfect with his cum pouring out of you that it pains him to clean it, hesitantly diving his fingers into you so he can coax the mess out. eyes fixated on how empty you’re starting to look as more and more leaks out of you and he refuses to let it go to waste

♡ he coats his fingers with it, scoops as much as he can with his fingertips and places them against your lips.

♡ “open. don’t waste it.”

♡ it’s not as sweet as the rest of his words, but you don’t seem to notice, parting your lips slowly as he slips his digits between them, cum glossy on your lips and dribbling down your chin. he’s fast to catch the mess, shoving his fingers down your throat as soon as he wipes it away

♡ he doesn’t stop until his fingers come out clean, the only thing left a thin sheen of slick and cum against your thighs that he kisses away

♡ he hopes that if nothing else you remember his cum against your tongue, the texture and the slightly salty taste. he hopes it lingers until the morning when you’re sober and aware and that a heaviness sits in your stomach that you can’t quite place.

♡ you’ve gone silent now, no longer pleading for him to stop or asking questions, lips a quivering line as he helps you into bed. his touch is ghostly now, so soft that you can barely feel it in comparison to his previously painful hold.

♡ he dresses you in one of osamu’s shirts, carefully rolling the fabric over your sensitive skin. and then he tucks you in, pulling the blanket up to your chest, pushing the hair out of your face, wiping your sweaty forehead, and he kisses you.

♡ leans down and presses his lips onto yours, hands clasping together on the base of your head to bring you deeper to offset your flinch, savoring the last of his moments with you, and then pulling away.

♡ he says it from the doorframe, hand hovering over the light switch

♡ “goodnight, yn, i love you.”

♡ and then he leaves, shutting off the light and closing the door leaving you all alone

♡ in the morning, you’ll wake up next to a passed out osamu who was also disgustingly drunk and atsumu will knock on the door lightly because he can’t not have a control on the the first conversation hat you and osamu have

♡ because osamu is smart and you’re smart and you’ll both connect the dots

♡ so atsumu knocks on the door and you shuffle to the door and he motions into the kitchen, and this is where he sees how good your memory actually is, waiting with hitched breath to see if you object and slam the door on him

♡ but you don’t. you follow, still a bit dazed and groggy, but dragging your feet against the floor as you make your way into the kitchen a few steps behind him. he’s already made you breakfast, is brewing you a cup of coffee and you don’t look apprehensive, you look elated

♡ the conversation at the table is small, you’re mostly focused on eating and he’s mostly focused on trying not to think too hard about last night.

♡ did you taste him when you woke up?

♡ osamu eventually makes his way into the kitchen as well and you are all over him, dumbly soft hanging onto his shoulders, leaning your body weight against him and atsumu is gazing at your body, slowly undressing you in his head, relishing in the picture he’s painting himself because you’re too in love to notice

♡ and you’re breathy moans are filling his head along with the plush fat of your thighs in his hands and the sting of his hips from pounding into you too hard and he’s trying, but not hard enough, to not get hard at breakfast

♡ yours and osamu’s conversation is a back and forth of recollections of the previous night, smiles and gratitudes and “did you have fun?”s and atsumu’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.

♡ then it does.

♡ “god, samu, baby, i’m so sore from last night. you were so rough with me, i mean- it was really fucking good, but i just feel it everywhere this morning.”

♡ osamu goes to answers, narrows his eyes and titles his head and wracks his brain for the memory of fucking you. he was really drunk last night… did he? when he got home? no… right?

♡ atsumu sees the wheels turning in his head and cuts it off before it can progress any further.

♡ “no, i took ya home last night. got ya in bed safe and sound. well, i mean, ya did fall off the bed because ya didn’t want to go to sleep and were tryin to get up and tripped over yer blankets, but no, ya got home and went straight to bed.”

♡ “i don’t know, maybe some weird dream?? or?? i don’t know. i’m not sure what happened after osamu got home.”

♡ but, god, fuck, he knows. of course, he knows. he’s been thinking about it all morning. he’s thinking about it right now. he’s remembering you around him, you screaming out for him, you fucked out beneath him, and he’s trying to hide how much it’s effecting him under the table.

♡ he’s remembering every single detail that you can’t fucking remember, running through his head like he video tapped the entire thing (and now he’s cursing himself for not filming the entire thing)

♡ maybe next time.

♡ there has to be a next time.

♡ he couldn’t live with the thought of never being able to fuck you again.

♡ he has to excuse himself, muttering some excuse about feeling dirty after being in the club all last night, and it’s somewhat true, but not really the reason he needed to leave, why he needed to sneak off to the shower

♡ he can’t get you out of his head, how could he. and he’s so fucking hard, throbbing against his thin shorts, palming himself through his boxers as he waits for the water to heat up.

♡ fisting his cock as the hot water drips down his body, steam filling his lungs with every quick inhale as he tries to replicate how snug your cunt was, thinking, coming up with any scenario in his head to fuck you again.

♡ he has to have you again, whatever it takes.

♡ it doesn’t matter if he has to get you drunk again, drug you, fuck you while you’re sleeping, it doesn’t matter how unwilling or how incoherent you were, he was going to be inside of you again.

//

♡ except..

♡ except…. being drunk again implies that you were drunk in the first place

♡ but you hadn’t had a drink for hours before atsumu had taken you home. you had dumped your drinks or swapped them for water or forget them on barstools and tables. you hadn’t drank for hours, but no one knew that. only you knew that.

♡ because you watched atsumu watch you all night, sure, but more than that, you’ve watched atsumu watch you for years. you’ve seen him stare at osamu with an envy so familiar that it hurt and you’ve seen him stick around with you in situation he normally wouldn’t just to walk close to you

♡ but you had osamu and you loved osamu and would never cheat on osamu, but if you could create a scenario… well, maybe you wouldn’t have to be the bad guy.

♡ maybe you would commit osamu’s name to memory, staring at his brother with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. they were twins, yes, but they didn’t look the same, no, not when you really looked.

♡ atsumu always looked smug, like he was hiding a secret from the world that no one else was good enough to share it with, and he always looked happy, like his life was so incredible that he didn’t have any choice in the matter, and atsumu looked like he could destroy you without even trying.

♡ and maybe you would bat your eyes at atsumu like you always did at osamu so that he couldn’t tell the difference and you would hang off of him your entire walk home so that he knew you were depending on him

♡ you didn’t know at the time that you had bitten off a bit more than you could chew, but that didn’t matter, because you were living out an all too familiar fantasy in your head

♡ if your plan was to let atsumu get exactly what he wanted while you got exactly what you wanted, then, is that so bad? and, well, if osamu ever found out.. well.. you were the victim.. you were so drunk

♡ “samu, i- i thought it was you, baby… i didn’t know.. he was.. he was so rough, i should’ve known you would never treat me like that, but i didn’t… i was so.. he..”

♡ if osamu found out, he would never blame you.

♡ he’d know that it’s not your fault. it wasn’t your fault that you had been taken advantage of so horribly by someone you and him both trusted so much.

♡ that’s… that’s not cheating ♡

♡ leave a tip ! ♡ ♡ reblogs & likes appreciated ♡

[strawberry-nugget]

𝙈𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙈𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙘 | E.Kirishima x Reader

Pairing: Kirishima/ reader, Bakugo/ reader (mentioned)

Summary: You shouldn't want him and he shouldn't want you, it's sinful and forbidden. But he can't help coming back to you, and you can't do anything but take him in every single time. Until today that is.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Aged up characters (twenties), NSFW 18+, plot with some p//rn but it's not very detailed, unprotected sex (please use condoms everyone), cheating, casual penetrative sex, jealousy, the seggz is pretty vanilla though

↪A/N: tennis player Kirishima, tennis player Kirishima, idk how I came up with it but I can't get it out of my head, written for @doinmybesthere 's 3k event collab and based on The Hills by the Weeknd, don't be shy to tell me if you liked it, I almost wrote 4k in a day which is unusual for me

5.30pm [Missed Call: Red]

5.31pm [Missed Calls(2): Red]

The bubbling notifications are spamming your phone, each call, succeeding the other in persistence and length, making your phone crawl onto your coffee table in restless buzzing. To your salvation the device is on silent; you're just unable to bear the overwhelming sound of your ringtone echo through the empty walls of your apartment, to let it bounce between concrete like a slimy ball, only for it to hit you on the face with tremendous force.

It's one of those days that you can't answer Kirishima. Too perplexed in the wields of your mind, blaming yourself for this horrendous situation, delivering raw swears at him for simply existing.

You don't know how it came to this nor when was the exact moment things switched. Was it at the party that you met him? Or the thousandth time you took him in and let him ruin relationship after relationship. Either way it was horrible for not only you, but also him, and all the people that have been caught up in the sidelines of this rotten affair.

You shouldn't want this anymore and truly, you don't. You're tired of being the second choice, of hiding behind your little finger, crying yourself to sleep at night, only to put on a sultry face for every time he comes. Once, twice a month.

[New Messages: Red]

Babe, you there?

Read 5.38pm

[New Messages: Red]

Babe I got practice at 8.

I know you're reading those.

Read 5.39pm

[Red is typing…]

[New Messages: Red]

I'm outside btw

A fresh, tremendously sharp wave of anxiety rushes through you at the little notification -it can't be like this again, not today. The thudder in your chest is unbearable, heart too weak to stomach the weight of your decision, fingers too reluctant to type out your response.

He's probably smirking while staring at his phone, not a single care in his head. It's loathing to your mind as you confirm your speculation, shooting a glance out of your window, landing your eyes on his car.

He shouldn't be here.

His thousands dollar car doesn't belong in your urban street, not in your side of the town. And it's so dangerous that he's doing this to see you. You've played the worst scenarios in your head a thousand times, millions of headlines on sites and the news about this; Eijirou Kirishima, on his way to claiming a fifth Grand Slam, caught in affair with university student.

Atrocious, degrading, exposing. A hit to his career that would bother the media for a couple of weeks and paint your name in mud along the way.

Why can't he just be content with the model that he's with? You're nothing like her, not as pretty and you don't have her body, you don't have her face, but he still says he finds you better, says he knows you better, but he just can't be with you.

[You]

Can't do it today

Sorry

You're good to yourself, only when you deny him and only when you feel the satisfaction of being the one to do so. It's pointless to sulk over saying no. He can go fuck other girls, play with their hearts and leave you to your otherwise peaceful life. Even if it is just for today.

You don't have the chance to let a smile creep to your face when your doorbell rings. The jiggling sound bursts into your eardrums once and twice, three dreaded times and they're enough to make your stomach churn, your neck tight and your skin ache.

You contemplate on opening the door for him, subconsciously letting yourself feel like a vulnerable prey, who, after running away to save yourself, is choosing to walk into the wolf's den, so willingly that you can feel yourself drifting away with each step you're taking towards the door.

"Babe,"

The swing of your door handle, the crack of your wrist, the creaking of your door as it opens to reveal him; they're all embarrassing. You can't tell if they fall short on his ears, too caught up in the way he looks -all swollen muscles and tall legs. You're running out of courage to say no and he knows this.

He's not as innocent as this cheeky smile frames him out to be, he's not the sweetheart everyone wants him to be either.

He's Eijirou, who's selfishly standing on your door, who's barging his way in your apartment, who's grabbing your cheeks and slamming your face in his, biting your lips until he draws blood, just to punish you for standing up against him.

Your door is slammed behind him, one bend of his knee and it's falling into its rightful place. To shield the sins of your affair, to bring you comfort and privacy as he attacks parts of your neck, your chest. Places that only squeeze perfectly under his touch.

"Babe," He calls again, in between soft kisses. "What's gotten into you?"

You frown and try to look away, past his cocoa colored orbs, past the swelling that's taking over his lips -and yours- with a numbing, tingling sensation.

"Eijirou—"

"I don't have much time in between training, I got a game the day after tomorrow."

It's always like this, you know. He doesn't have to tell you twice or try to excuse his own self for what he does or how he acts. You're pushed between schedules, or slammed into his timetable like a truck when he feels like indulging with you again, hidden between the lines of his free time.

You're sure at this point that it's the thrill he's after. The sinful taste of your lips on his, how he feels in control while chasing after you, when you can't keep up with him.

His lips don't taste like sour cherry anymore, but you let them wiggle against yours with triumph, you let him want to catch his breath as he pulls back and you put the minimum effort in returning the passion you receive.

You pull back, ignoring the words he's whispering against your face, only to take in his features once again.

Soft black hair pulled into a low ponytail, spiky bangs that fly all over his face and his tips drowned in a fiery, foxy red. The only reminder for who he was before his tennis career blew up. For who he was before he turned into this cocky womanizer whom you're desperately after with a longing heart.

"I'm just not in the mood today."

"Well let's get you in the mood then huh?"

He smiles, nose scrunching and chapped lips hiding behind his gums as his hand moves to your thigh, tagging your shorts with furry. As if he's desperate to have you, right here and now. As if bending you over the couch will help put out a fire in him. That's how he always convinces you to keep this going.

He's making you feel like not having you this way is insufferable.

You're buried in the crook of his neck while being pushed onto the couch, nibbling a soft spot that you've found, rubbing his skin on the top of your tongue. You know how to do this without leaving a mark, you can hold back from wanting to take all you can get from him.

But today it's different. It's going to be the last time.

It's not like any other time you've told yourself that you are going to end this. Today you're going to leave a mark, you're going to bite your way into his skin and drink from his poison -the intimate attention he's only ever willing to give- and you'll get drunk in it.

"Fuck," He grunts against your lips. "Fuck, don't stop that feels good."

You don't stop, eager to listen to him, to breathe into his neck before you wrap your lips a little lower and closer to his collarbone. You should be asking if this will cause him problems, but gone is the guilt that veils your coinsense otherwise. You suckle on a spot and then another, stealing his groaning moans one by one as they fall from his lips, plushing them softly in a spongy part of your brain, where they can rest forever, until you've forgotten them.

"Get your shirt off Eijirou," You plea, ogling eyes watering from the pressure that's applied in the apex of your thighs and he's quick to follow your command, lips curling upwards in a sweetheart smirk.

You're going to miss the way the apples of his cheeks cover his eyes when he smiles like this. But there's no going back for you and him.

With legs that feel like burning rubber you hug around his horse, watching the way his muscles flex and fold with his snappy movements. His shirt, tousled and wrinkly, tossed in an unknown corner of your living room, only for him to guess where it is after he's gotten his fix of you.

Thick fingers probe at your sides, pulling your shirt downwards in a silent plea, take off your shirt, give him the satisfaction that he wants, indulge into this as much as he wants you to.

But today, you're not in the mood for this. So instead of pulling your shirt off, you unbuckle your pants, pulling them down at the most dreadful speed, making him bite his lip impatiently.

You won't miss this, the way he's expecting so many things of you.

And if he notices something's wrong, he doesn't say a word, presumably content with getting what he wants; the rear view of the gap between your legs, where he can bury himself and get lost for the next thirty minutes.

"Fuck baby," he moans. "Why do you smell so good?"

You grunt, averting your gaze from his as he pushes your bangs away from your face with the back of his hand. You want to miss his puppy eyes. Ghosting him won't be easier for you if you don't.

But damn if he couldn't read you this well, things would be easier.

"Not in the mood to talk?" You look even further away to avoid the question, "babe, you can tell me if you're not well, you'll feel better if you let it out"

You don't need someone to tell you how to feel. You've decided when the two of you are going to be through. It's set and done, even if he feels at the top of the world right now, you won't inflate his ego anymore.

"M fine Eijirou, put it in," You bite his lip, putting huge effort in making him forget about what he thinks it's bothering you. "Want you to put it in m'kay?"

Sultry, fake voice, he's heard it all before and he doesn't have the right to call you out for it. Whatever he does next, you're his for the moment and for the last time.

Repeating is your rightful way of convincing yourself of not giving up on your decision. If only he could have broken up before deciding to wet himself in you, if only you hadn't taken him so eagerly, if only you hadn't become just like him. Welcoming him despite availability status, afraid to lose him, saying that a little sex wouldn't hurt. If you could do this on repeat, then you could get rid of him quite as easily.

You're not better than him and he's taken your vulnerability to him for granted. He's loved the attention you've paid him from time to time, whenever he's given you so much as a mere call.

You should pretend to moan, to hurt his ego, but as he's delving into you, slowly, mellowy, his kisses feel like burning sunshine, August breeze against your skin, kissing your shoulders lightly. It hurts that this salvation is coming from his mouth, as it moves rhythmically against every inch of you.

"Fuck, fuck, ah, you feel so good, you know that?"

You don't answer, nor do you wrap your lips around him. You don't move them against his when he goes to kiss you, but you coo into his warm embrace once his hands come to cradle you in a tight embrace.

"I love you," He slips up and you contemplate on whether you have to start hating him from this very moment. "I just wanna be with you, I—" He grunts. “—this is why you don't believe him, but nonetheless you hold a moan in as well. "Fuck, I'll break up just for you.”

Now that's a new one. A new addition to the long list of red flags you have with his name on top. You can't fall for it. You absolutely can't. If you do, he'll treat you just like this, he'll fuck behind your back and kiss you goodnight before going off to sleep with someone else. Like he's slept with you, once, twice, thrice.

And you're going to hate being the one who's fooled, despite deserving it more than anyone else. And another girl, or guy, is going to be his subject of desire.

You shouldn't want him to be yours, but you're lewding your 'I love yous' out of your mouth like they're nothing, poisoning your heart until there's nothing left but dust and sucked up blood, all devoured by the greed he's made you feel.

"You love me too?"

"I do," You cry, rocked between him and the couch, neck hurting by the way he's digging his teeth in yours.

"I'll fucking leave everything for you babe,"

He shouldn't. He won't. You tell yourself he's only saying this because he wants to come, to make you feel dirty with his actions and fish out words that make him ecstatic or send him over the edge from your mouth.

Rhythms are peaking, his hips burning from his movements, foreheads are dripping in sweat, lips taste salty against each other. The perfect picture, the most tingling sensation, and you're too fucked to go back, or keep yourself content with him. It feels the same as the last time, a numbing knot in your stomach, commanding you to rip your heart out and throw it away, spooning mewls out of your mouth.

If you could, you'd mute him, not wanting to listen to how beautiful he sounds as he's coming down from his high. If you could, you'd look away, and wouldn't try to burn the image of his body as he's falling apart in your mind.

"That was—" The sigh that leaves his chest through his mouth is liberating, you can tell—"amazing. I still love you, so much babe."

His hand soothing the pain of his thrusts, does nothing to make you feel better. You want to shove it away, but you don't, unhappy with the way you're turning out to be.

"It's time for you to go, Eijirou, isn't it?" You remind him. A hand pushing him off of you and quickly smoothing your T-shirt over your legs to deprive him of the view that'd make him wear a smug of triumph.

"So quick to get me to go. Did you find someone else again sweetheart?"

You don't reply as you're putting on your underwear and pants, shoving his shirt into him with a heavy hand.

"You did, didn't you?"

"None of your business, go off to your practice, your girl, don't patronize me anymore."

He gruffs, beautiful features scowling in that stormy gaze that reeks of his authority, "Here I am pouring my heart on you and you found someone else"

"Eijirou, it's seven thirty, if I were you, I wouldn't be late for practice. You got a game the day after tomorrow."

No more dealing with his pouting, you're going to bawl your eyes out if you have to do it. The sooner he's out of your house, the sooner you'll get this over with; the tight lamp in your throat, the image of him smiling at you like this, him admitting feelings that he shouldn't have.

Hurting him isn't the role that suits you. Because you can't do it. You can't hurt that warm sunshine he has on his face. He has to be the one to hurt you like he's been the one to drive you away. It's too late for him to change or reverse your roles.

You don't want to fight and he knows it.

He knows you, so well, well enough to use you as he wishes to, letting you believe you're using him too. You're going to make him watch you slip away, and he won't do anything about this.

So he's eager to leave as you're pushing him out of the door, he doesn't cup your cheek with his hand, and doesn't kiss your forehead tenderly like he always does.

"You should come to this party Mina is throwing, let me meet your new guy."

Like hell you'd ever do this, he knows, but teasing won't hurt a bit. Eijirou can deal with you dating other men, he's claimed you well before, he'll do it again if he has to, especially now that he's decided to have you.

"Yeah yeah, and if I do, don't ever call me again, 'kay?"

You're too good to not do as he says, or not to fall back to him, and he's too good to not come back to you. To him, you're a match made in heaven, to you, you're a lost cause, burning in the fiery pits of hell as atonement for your sins.

He doesn't know that you'll fall apart before dressing up, how you'll tell yourself you're not doing this for him, but as a statement against him.

You're no better than him, in fact, you're worse.

…

The only problem is, that when Eijirou pulls up at Mina's party after practice, you're already there. Drink in your hand, flared jeans hugging your legs, layered tank tops that cover the bruising truth of this evening, laughing at whatever your friends are saying.

When he puts out his phone, calloused fingers furiously typing a text addressed to you, you're too far gone into another glass, dancing a little dance before grabbing everyone's cups to go for a refill, greeting them in that silent way of yours, drunken smile.

And then you'll pass him by and blink at him, you'll mutter a small greeting and he'll grab you by the hand and whisper in your ear just how hard he'll take you driving the night. You'll swoon, moan, forget about the drinks and follow him anywhere he leads you.

That's how everybody knows about the two of you.

This time, though, you don't cast a single eye on him. In fact, you're tainting him, walking past him while ignoring him, leaving him awestruck and hurt, like his confessions earlier in the day meant nothing to you.

It's a hit to his heart, how your jaw drops as you bump into Bakugo over the kitchen counter, eyes too wide at the sight of him. How your finger dances playfully on his chest and as you smile at him when he whispers something in your ear.

It's infuriating how you drop the cups near the sink and follow Bakugo outside, or how the blond waves at him with a pressed smile against his lips, signaling that he'll be busy for a while.

His insides churn, tummy aching in a feeling of guilt, one unlike anything he's felt before. Losing you doesn't taste in the way he thought he would, it's worse; sour and poisoning. It makes him flee the party, furious and bitter.

When he's back, his body is heavy, feet dragging him across his apartment, mind blank as he follows his basic routine before bed time, fixated on how easy it seemed for you to just ignore him and flee with one of his friends as soon as he came over to the party he invited you to, wondering how you could be so ruthless with him all of a sudden.

Sweet talking Kirishima with a smile of gold, the sweetheart of the professional Tennis scene and you're over him in the split of a second, pushing him away from you without an explanation or heart wrenching speech. Not giving him the satisfaction of some closure, just forcing the cold tempo of your sudden departure in the depths of his heart.

He pays no mind to the girl that sleeps beside him, back turned to him like she's oceans apart, despite the unspoken bound that's keeping them together. He'll leave her, make up for all the damage that he's done, in any way that he can manage to.

It all comes down to the fact that no one can love you like he does, no one can want you like he does. Someone can do it better, but you have to want him.

5.30am [Missed Call: Red]

5.31am [Missed Calls(2): Red]

[New Message: Red]

Fuck, with Bakugo out of everyone?

Delivered: 5.31am

[New Message: Red]

Did you have sex with him?

Babe answer me.

Delivered: 5.32am

[New Message: Red]

I'm breaking up with her tomorrow morning.

And I'll come over.

Babe.

Babe please.

Delivered: 5.33am

[New Message: Red]

I'll take you on a date and we can talk about us okay babe?

Let me know when you wake up.

I love you.

So much.

Delivered: 5.38am

Read: 10.23pm

[You]

(Attached Image)

Sorry 'Red' even if you sound like a total douche, cheeks forgot her phone at my place.

I bet on her answering your late night drama when she takes her phone back.

[Red is typing...]

Super thanks to @celestidarling for proofreading this and giving me the biggest pump of confidence to post

↪Up Next: Dragon King Bakugo

[dourpeep]

i have even more ideas now...

what about like the moment you open up about your relationship with kazuxiao the fans who were already seeing that happen were celebrating and on both of y'alls insta or something is where you announce and it's like a picture of all 3 of you chilling together or something

and then when they finally appear on a variety show they're just questioned throughly and they talk about how you guys meet and what they like about you

ok but the moments where you just feel sort of insecure since being an idol is hard and you're technically dating your seniors and you're just hit by the antis who are against yourself relationship so you lock yourself in your room in your dorm by yourself to cope. your roommate (can be whoever) contacts them both and they immediately come over and come in and offer soft kisses and soft murmurs of reassurance that they'll never leave you and that everything's gonna be ok.

side note i can see xiao just being a whole meme without realizing?? for like variety shows he's just known for his dead pan expression and then i can see him being so competitive on shows like running man..mans ripping tags left and right, while kazuhas just hiding in a weird spot or something

kazuha on the other hand i can see him being a troll, he likes to mess around with the hosts of the show and manages to mess up some of their plans, he also likes messing with his group members, where xiao likes to say that kazuha looks innocent but is a part of the devil line with venti

onto albedo i can see him like answering questions in his vlive and fans realize that a lot of his songs are more romantic and sort of pining?? and they're asking where the motivation is from. he answers that it's just something that he saw recently so he felt motivated (it wasn't the fact that he had realized that he was 100% in love with you)

but like all of this mans inspiration comes from you, he's had multiple songs dedicated to you before your relationship was even open to the public, and when your relationship finally does, it just clicks for fans and it suddenly makes sense, your ship name trends worldwide for the day

but how you and albedo met, i can see both of you guys being in the industry already and you guys are sort of know each other but it was for a one time off collab with other artists involved so you didn't really talk with each other. like i said before albedos a solo artist while i can see you being a part of a popular group already. but then both of your companies decided to do another collab and especially picked you two since you guys already worked on a collab before.

at first it was like awkward since albedos really socially awkward but then things click when you guys start writing the song together. everything just matches so well?? and you guys just compliment each other?? and that's when you learn of albedo just staying at the studio so late so you often bring food. this leads to you guys getting closer and albedo even stops his work just to talk to you more. when your song comes out and everyone is waiting for the stage, there's just so much tension?? but the good kinda and everyone is awed by the song and the vocals coming from you and albedo.

i can also see the both of you guys appearing on variety shows together too, like appearing on a show where you two travel to another place and experience the culture there, with albedo being your tour guide and showing you all the famous places (one of the many times where fans were awed by his research and knowledge) and then if you guys were to appear together again after you guys reveal your relationship, a lot of the times they show idols as they wake up, they'll see you and albedo being clingy af to each other.

on another side note, albedos totally a troll on variety shows, he likes messing around with the hosts and other contestants since a lot of the time he's not really interested in the show itself, it's more for publicity. however, when he first appeared on a show with you fans noticed that he actually seemed interested for once and that's where your ship name started.

albedos totally a golden child tho, he's like basically perfect in everything so a lot of the times variety shows don't catch him slipping, however the one time that he did was when you were mentioned, the clip of with his ears bright red was trending for a couple of days :)

GIVING ME SO MUCH GOOD FOOD THANK YOU ANON

I think that this covers everything hehehe so I won't add to-

wait wait I put it all under the cut b/c it's a lot again-

Okay okay but like for the 'announcement' picture, what if it's like those photo booth pics (but like each picture you need to scroll through like on Insta) where it's cute and wholesome! The three of you are having fun wearing some silly glasses or hats, doing peace signs or finger hearts....and the very last photo is the three of you sharing a kiss- or, at least trying to.

It's sweet, a little silly, and most of your fans take it really well! After all, they can see the chemistry that you share and can't deny that the three of you would have a good relationship.

As for the insecurities of dating your seniors, Kazuha and Xiao are quick to knock back any of those worries. They love you so, so much and hate the fact that something like that makes you doubt for a single second. If anyone ever tries to bring it up, you know that they're going to immediately quip back.

Naturally, you're roomed with Venven :D He's technically an up-and-coming after he stopped doing idol stuff for a few years, so not only does he know the ropes, but he's also one of your biggest fans and biggest supports (outside of Kazuha and Xiao).

Though he's silly and light-hearted, he's quick to recognize when things are serious and need handling.

So as soon as he sees that you're not doing so great or if he notices the comments on your posts are going in a bad direction, he speed dials Xiao and the two of your boyfriends are right at the door in under 15.

Not only are they fast about it, but they have all your favorite snacks, a movie or two, some popcorn, and a ton of love and affection because they'll be damned if their love is going to be affected by some asshole's comments about their love life! What do they know anyway??

Actually this all could work too if Kazuha and Xiao are part of 4NEMO-

Hmmm

That'd cause so much more ruckus- not only is half of one of the most popular idol groups are taken, but by the same person??? And each other??? Man, that's wack.

BUT THE GAMESHOWS

Xiao would most certainly be super intense with those. He just can't help it--competition drives his blood and makes something snap in him. He's dead serious about doing well, regardless of the game. I actually have never watched said game shows, but--

Like...he's out for blood. No one is safe. Not even you or Kazuha if you're on opposing teams, though he'll be a bit more gentle. Maybe even with the hint of a smile while you have an expression of utter shock at the fact that he's just so fast-

Or if it's not a game show and instead you're doing some sort of idol group activity with a few others to get to know each other?

Someone suggests ping pong and, knowing how competitive Xiao gets, he's pitted up against Tartaglia and man. That's scary. There's no doubt that someone would clip the video and make it into an overly-dramatic retelling complete with music.

Hilarious.

As for Kazuha! He'd be a bit of a mish mosh! He enjoys poking fun at others, and he's so sly! Those poor hosts don't realize that he's goading them on, but sure enough--he is. Who knew that his charming smile and mild-mannered attitude could be so devastating?

But even then, he's mostly wholesome! There's a lot of little clips, mostly of your doing, of him in a 'kiss the chef' apron getting caught off guard while cooking something up. The videos aren't great because you're giggling while recording and he ends up placing the ladle down calmly before wrapping you up in his arms. Half the video ends up being the two of you laughing and joking while it's pointed at a weird angle towards the counter.

Sometimes it'll point just right and you'll get a half-blurred view of Xiao sitting at the kitchen island with his reading glasses perched on his nose and book forgotten. He tends to get up and join in for a few smooches before reminding Kazuha of the food that's still cooking.

--

Albedo!! He absolutely is the golden child. He's fantastic handling things under pressure in a cool, calm manner. Handsome, charismatic, incredibly smart--man's hit all the stops and just keeps going.

It's not until it comes out that the two of you are together that his cool façade (hardly one, though) falters and at the mere mention of you, he'll go soft. There's a tenderness in his eyes, a small smile on his lips, and his blush? Absolutely adorable. How can anyone object when he's obviously so in love with you?

And the idea you mentioned with the two of you traveling and experiencing stuff together sounds so cute (':

He particularly enjoys exploring new cuisine, so expect him to feed you some food from his plate-

There's also a few times where you two have gotten lost in the new places, more because you're both so busy taking in the sights to realize you've taken five wrong turns- But then you make it into a whole adventure, foregoing the map and deciding to wander around. What better way to discover and learn about somewhere than getting lost and wandering?

You find quite a few hidden gems this way since otherwise you'd be hitting more popular areas!

Wait- do they really show idols waking up???

Ahh regardless, Albedo's definitely a cuddler. He loves it, can't get enough of it. It's not often that he gets a good night's rest, but with you it seems like he's fully recharged and ready for the day! It's cute too because it doesn't matter--big spoon or little spoon, you on his chest or him resting on yours. Even a few times with you facing each other with your hands intertwined.

I also agree that Albedo would mess with the game show's hosts and contestants. Not only would he, but he'd be entirely smug about it (after all, we need to have that #smugbedo going on).

No doubt, there's been times where the cameras even focus/zoom in on him where he's sitting because he's got that smirk on his face.

[existslikepristin]

Definitely Real Medicine

More backlog from AFF: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1470220/definitely-real-medicine

Tags: TheLounge, G-Idle, Yuqi, maleOC"you", blowjob, Yuqi's beautiful overconfidence, cum is not medicine people

~~~~~

Yuqi texted you that she’d woken up much earlier than she should have that morning. Her voice was still hoarse from her sleep, even by noon, when you met up with her at G-IDLE’s dorm.

You had wandered into the dining room to see her sitting at the table, sipping tea from a mug and slowly filling out a sudoku puzzle. She was dressed in loose, robe-style pajamas. The makeup she wore to the party she texted you from the previous night was still smudged on her face, and her long, dark brown hair was in a messy ponytail. You could tell she was having a rough time by the way she squinted at the paper.

Yuqi stretched when you called out to her, further smudging her makeup as she rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes and yawned. She opened her arms to you, and you sat down beside her with your arms around her neck, teasing her by playing with her hair and lightly pulling on it. She moaned softly, then suddenly pushed you away. Your confusion dissolved as she turned her head to the side and started coughing like her throat was made of sandpaper.

When she stopped a few seconds later, she turned to you with a pouty face. "I’m pretty sure I’m getting sick, sorry. I wasn’t expecting to ruin our lunch plans."

“Awww. I thought Yuqi Power made you invincible.” You hugged her again.

Yuqi hissed her annoyance and gave you a threatening glare, but quickly changed her demeanor back to a happy, albeit miserable-looking one. “You want me to get you sick too?” She took a deep breath as if she was going to cough directly in your face.

You let her go and recoiled back, but she just laughed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won’t really get you sick. Intentionally. But, uh… you’ll want to wash your hands.”

She grabbed one of your hands and pulled it to her mouth. There, she started sucking on your fingers.

"See? This is very good for your throat," Yuqi said, slightly muffled. "I’m out of medicine, but I can do this."

"Yeah, I don't think that’s..." You trailed off, unable to continue speaking when she started licking the flesh between your thumb and pointer finger.

She looked up at you for a moment. "Nah. It’s definitely good to suck on things when you have a sore throat like this. What do you think they make lozenges for? You know what would be really good though? Sucking your cock."

Your eyes shot wide open. Sex definitely isn’t the first thing on your mind whenever you’re sick, but Yuqi is a unique kind of person.

“Oh yeah? Would it really?” You smiled as she kept her eyes locked with yours.

Yuqi scooted her chair back and slid off, to land on her knees, and between yours.

She groaned. "I honestly just want to stick my tongue in your mouth, but I can’t right now. This sucks so much." She pouted and grabbed at your pants pockets to tug at them.

You rolled your eyes to reveal your sarcasm. "Okay, I’ll let you suck my dick to help your throat feel better."

“Perfect!” Yuqi bounced on her heels. “Off with your pants, please!”

You pushed your chair back so that you could stand up and do as she says. Your dick was already hard from the finger sucking, and now floated above her head. Her robe-pajamas fell to the floor around her as she wiggled the shoulders off.

Sat back down on the chair, Yuqi coughed a few times off to the side, but then lay her cheek against your inner thigh. This was something she’d done before, and you took the hint, stroking her other cheek with your thumb. She purred with contentment, but the tone was even lower than normal. You wondered if she should really be giving you a blowjob if her throat was feeling so bad, but you knew Yuqi’s mind was impossible to change.

After a few moments, Yuqi picked her head back up and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out and inching toward you.

You couldn’t articulate words for a second when she wrapped her lips around your cock. When you regained your senses, you said, "How come you're the one that's sick, but I'm the one getting spoiled here?"

She momentarily pulled her mouth away, using her hand to stroke you slowly.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about! This is all for my benefit. My throat is going to feel fantastic after this!" She flicked the tip of your dick with her tongue before continuing her probably-misguided medical treatment.

Chuckling, you pulled her hair a little, not to take her further onto your shaft, but just as a light tease. She moaned onto you, almost making you shudder from the vibrations it sent through you. Her enthusiasm was contagious as she pushed herself deeper and faster, continuing to use her tongue to stroke you inside her hot mouth.

You put your hands on her shoulders, hoping that a less than obvious massage will actually do her a little bit more good than a blowjob. But she’s obviously committed to giving herself some respite in her own way.

But you had to admit, it was some good respite she was giving. You couldn't decide if you should have her finish you off, or take her elsewhere for a ride on the couch or her bed. You figured you'd wait it out and see if she had anything to say about either option. You were pulled from the vivid image of your potential future plan when she took you all the way into her mouth and held you there, still stroking whatever her tongue could reach with its movement restricted because you were filling her mouth and throat.

"Yuqi, that feels so good." You groaned, trying not to buck your hips up into her face. Her eyes twinkled as she looked up at you, and she didn't stop for an instant.

"If you plan on continuing,” you say with a bit of a struggle, “I hope you're of the opinion that swallowing will be good for your throat too, otherwise you better get yourself on top of me."

She slowed down her motions, but didn't stop. You sighed and looked up at the ceiling, both in anticipation and frustration. You weren't entirely sure what that answer meant, but you were comfortable knowing you'd be coming deep inside her throat shortly.

Yuqi’s mouth continued to move more and more slowly, but she didn't decrease the depth or enthusiasm with which she moved her head back and forth, swallowing the entire length of your cock each time before pulling away, her tongue still swirling around inside her mouth as she sucked.

You looked down to catch her eye again, and saw in her pleading eyes how desperately she wanted this, whatever it really was. You were just about ready to come, and that look she gave you really did you in.

"Soon," you muttered.

The corners of Yuqi’s mouth curled up as much as they could, wrapped around you. She hummed as she continued at her slow, steady pace. The amazing sensations of her mouth wrapped around your cock made you start to twitch. You couldn’t hold out any longer.

You erupted into her mouth, jizz surging up and between her lips. She giggled, muffled, as she locked her lips in place, using her tongue to keep stimulating you as you came. Not a single drop escaped her as she attempted to draw every last bit out of your balls.

Eventually it stopped, and you leaned your head back. “Well, happy now Yuqi?”

She gulped loudly before she spoke again. “Yup! I can already tell that I’m feeling b--”

Suddenly, she broke out into another coughing fit. You bent over her and slowly rubbed her back as she got it out of her system.

“Okay, I lied,” she said sheepishly.

You chuckled and helped her stand up, allowing yourself a look up and down her completely nude body that you hadn’t had the chance to spend any time to appreciate while she was between your legs. But you lifted her pajamas back up around her shoulders and tied the belt around her waist without feeling too bad about it.

“It’s all good Yuqi. I’m not going to complain about everything that just happened. In fact, I feel a little indebted. Can I at least make you some soup?”

Yuqi pressed her face up against your chest, hands wrapped around your waist. “Will you tuck me in and feed it to me in bed?”

“How could I say no to someone and something that adorable?”

[yslkook]

Unattainable

pairing: jimin x reader (fwb au) summary: it's 2 AM and your thoughts are filled with nothing but jimin. he thinks you're too good for him- you deserve better than him and his broken heart. (imagine THIS jimin) word count: 1.4k warnings: masturbation, facetime sex, some thoughts of self-deprecation a/n: written for ms hana @cutechim !! happy birthday to my dear friend<33 it was only fitting for the first jimin fic i ever wrote to be written for hana's bday. i hope u enjoy<3 and thank u to @jinpanman for reading this!

It’s nearly 2 AM but Jimin can’t sleep. Because you can’t sleep, and you’re currently fumbling with the buttons on your satin pajama top with shaky, clumsy fingers.

Jimin doesn’t bother stifling his laugh. You’re cute, really, you are. You glare at him, admonishing him through the screen, hoping that he can feel your irateness through the laptop.

It’s taken him a long time to convince you to get to this point. Well, it wasn’t so much as convincing as it was you becoming more comfortable and attached to him in this way. You had been so shy in the beginning, trembling under his arms with heated cheeks as each pass of his fingers would stroke your skin.

But this had been your idea. Jimin reminds you frequently of this. You were the one who had approached him shortly after another birthday, fragments of desire and the nebula of an idea on the tip of your tongue.

You had been nearly in tears, tired of convincing yourself that you were okay with being so incredibly seemingly undesirable. With your birthday just passing on the horizon, it had felt as though every single ounce of self-worth had come crashing down on you.

It didn’t help that everyone around you were either in long-term relationships or engaged or married.

You just wanted someone to hold you, to maybe look at you in a way that stole your breath right from your throat. You wanted someone to teach you all of the things you never learned, someone to teach you how to kiss. How to love.

Was it a good idea? To spill your entire bleeding, delicate heart out to Jimin, to your oldest friend? Your oldest friend who you’ve always had a small crush on but never acted on because he has always seemed so unattainable, ethereal in that way?

You would say yes, that it was worth it. Because maybe even if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, having him like this is better than not having him at all-

“Help me,” You plead. You’re not above begging him and Jimin’s always had trouble saying no to you. You’ve always been unattainable to him, so brilliant and kind. When all he knew how to do was hurt, hurt, and hurt those around him. He’s damaged goods, rough around the edges. Jimin often asks himself why you still stick around him, when you’re a diamond and he is nothing but a jagged stone.

“Help you? You want me to help you with what exactly…” Jimin drawls, “Use your words, princess.”

Your heart bursts. You can’t take it anymore.

“Kiss me,” You breathe, “Fuck me, love me. Any of it. All of it.”

“I can’t give you love,” Jimin says softly, “I’ll give you everything else. I’ll give you anything you want.”

He can’t give you his love, because you deserve better than his broken heart. But the rest, he can give you. If Jimin can make you happy in this way, then he’ll take it. He’ll take any ounce of your love that he can get, because he is a parasite and you are too good for him.

“Take your shirt off, princess,” Jimin nearly purrs, his eyes dark and expectant.

“If you weren’t so far away, you could do it for me,” You huff, trying to soothe your nerves. He laughs, the sound gentle and musical.

“You’ll like this, I know you will,” He says. His voice is smooth and sure, soft and firm. Enticing, like a honey you always want a taste of.

“Okay,” You shrug, “I trust you.”

It surprises him every time. Despite your many years of friendship and through his many mishaps in nearly all facets of his life, you still trust him.

“Tilt the screen down a little more, I can’t see your face,” Jimin says. When you do as he says, he smiles widely with crescent eyes. “There you go.”

He looks especially handsome tonight, his brown hair falling effortlessly into his eyes. Somehow he always looks good, no matter the hour or time of day. Rings adorn his lithe fingers.

You can vividly remember where his fingers had been just a few nights ago- buried deep in you, pulling wet, squelching sounds from your pussy and breathy moans from your lips. Despite your embarrassment over the sounds you didn’t even know you were capable of making, Jimin had reassured you that he found you breathtaking.

“You got something to show me, princess?” Jimin says, giving you a knowing grin. He leans in closer to the camera on his laptop, trying to see as much of you as he can. It’s his own fault that you’re unable to sleep.

After all, he’s the one who had sent you an audio file of him touching himself while moaning your name breathlessly, telling you exactly what he was thinking while he teased himself. Your name sounded like the sweetest poison on his tongue but you chase the feeling, and you chase him.

Jimin is sweet and protective, he always has been. With you at least. You’re his princess, after all. Despite what people think of him, what people have thought of him… You’ve always been around with open arms, an open heart, and now, open legs.

“I’m nervous,” You admit softly, “I’ve never done this before.”

“I know,” Jimin acknowledges, “But it’s just me and I’ve got you. If you don’t want to-”

“No! I want to. And I,” You pause and sigh heavily, “I want this to be with you.”

“You can say no whenever you want,” He says, as he always does. You nod in understanding and part your legs for him to see. Jimin swallows, his throat suddenly dry. He smiles at you through the screen as he leans forward even more, the necklace you had bought for him on his birthday bouncing along the base of his neck.

You salivate at the sight of his collarbones. You’re a simple girl. Jimin’s room is dimly lit, the pale glow of the lamp behind him illuminating the sharp planes of his pretty face. Pretty. Everything about him is angelic, even if he would say otherwise.

“Jimin,” You murmur, fingers dancing dangerously close to the hem of your white panties. He sucks in an audible breath, his eyes narrowing at the wet patch sitting pretty on your panties. You slip your hand into your panties, lazily stroking your slit as you watch him.

“Look how wet you made me,” You coo. Jimin nearly scoffs- he’s made a demon out of you. A year ago, the words spilling from your lips would’ve had you flustered and shy. And now here you were, presenting your glossy folds as if you were wrapped up in white lace just for his eyes.

You were, and you both knew it. Jimin loves this side of you, loves that he’s opened you up. Like his very own lotus, your petals slick with shiny need for him. For him.

He’s selfish and he loves that he’s the only one who’s seen you like this. That you’re the only one who had given him this chance. That you listen so willingly, so eagerly.

It makes his cock stir. He palms himself over his shorts, moaning to himself quietly. “Lemme see you, princess,” Jimin says, spreading his legs, “Come closer.”

You shift a little closer to the laptop so he can watch you with wide eyes as you slip out of your panties and toss them to the side. He softly tells you to spread your legs further, to touch yourself for him.

His mouth waters, when you tease yourself before finally allowing your index finger to rub your clit slowly. “What are you thinking about, princess,” Jimin breathes, “Tell me. Tell me everything.”

“That I miss you,” You mumble, rolling your hips into your hand, “Wish you were here.”

“Finger yourself, princess,” Jimin demands softly, “You wish it were me?”

“Y-yeah,” You nod eagerly, “Always wish it were you.”

His words are filthy, longing dripping off of the ends of his words. Jimin tells you what to do, tells you what he’s doing- that’s stroking his cock to the sight of your sweet pussy. Jimin will even pretend for a little bit, fooling himself as he tells you to fuck yourself on the dildo hidden in a box full of trinkets that he’s gotten you over the last year.

He’s so full of delusions that he can’t help but merge his desire and reality- “Who’s pussy is this?” Jimin whispers, your moans increasing in pitch as your clit catches on the silicone of the already wet dildo.

“Yours,” You let the words slip out of your mouth purposely, “Always yours.”

tags: @kookdbean @codeinebelle @jinpanman

[syuga-s]

The Last Time

w.c 4.3k

pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader

genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️

Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.

For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.

You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.

The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.

And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.

How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...

But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.

"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.

Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.

But that didn't last long.

"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.

You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.

“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".

You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.

It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.

"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"

"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.

In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.

"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".

Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?

You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.

"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.

"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"

You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.

Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.

That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.

As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.

You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?

You had left each other in the cold back then.

He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"

You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".

He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.

He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.

It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?

You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.

You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".

You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.

He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?

"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".

"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"

You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.

But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.

Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.

"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.

The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.

When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.

“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.

You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.

You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.

When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.

You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.

He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.

Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.

I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.

──────────────────────

You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.

When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.

Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.

The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.

It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.

You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.

A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.

But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.

You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.

Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.

Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.

Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?

You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.

I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.

When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.

He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?

The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.

“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“

There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.

“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.

“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.

“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.

At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.

You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.

Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.

You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.

But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.

Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.

You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.

Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.

Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.

You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.

The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.

He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.

Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.

You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.

You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.

Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.

There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.

Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.

What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.

Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.

He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.

He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.

“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”

But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.

It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.

──────────────────────

I still love you

(9:05 p.m.)

no, I don’t

(9:06 p.m.)

I’m confused why did this happen

(2:26 a.m.)

I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.

(10:45 a.m.)

I kind of hate you for changing your number

(8:57 p.m.)

I’m sorry

(1:43 a.m.)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened

(3:37 a.m.)

why can’t things be like they were before

(10:13 a.m.)

please come back to me. I need you. You need me

(1:58 a.m.)

I still want you

(4:06 a.m.)

──────────────────────

The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.

That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.

──────────────────────

“I wonder why” You smirked at him.

The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.

His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.

“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.

“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.

“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.

“I was scared to lose you”.

“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.

“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.

“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.

You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.

“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.

“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.

You didn’t know where to start, either.

There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.

“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.

“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.

It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.

You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.

You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.

“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.

“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.

“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”. 

“You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.

You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.

You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.

You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.

“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.

“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.

He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.

“I feel so different now”.

“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.

While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.

“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.

You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.

You didn’t know what to do after his following words.

“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”

You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.

[slowdownatthelotusinn]

Petrichor || Chapter Two

[Petrichor Masterlist]

Summary: Zach convinces Camdyn to come to the first practice of the season; a fight breaks out on the ice?; elsewhere, Shawn grapples with the news that he's switching schools again.

A/N: If you'd like to be tagged at the end of new chapters, let me know.

As the day dragged on, Camdyn's melancholy only grew. Homeroom with Mr. Eichner left her with a bitter taste in her mouth and the egregious realization that she was severely underprepared for the school year's routine. Down on her luck and sorely lacking the will to see otherwise by the end of 3rd period, it wasn't until the day's official end, that Camdyn zoned back in in time to catch her chemistry homework for the week.

She plucked her books from the countertop, carelessly shoved them into her book bag, and followed the throngs of students out into the hallway. Muted sounds of excitement and glee fell upon her ears, and Camdyn found herself in no mood to celebrate the successful return to Windermere's hallowed halls. Instead, she made a bee-line for the Art Room, seeking a few moments of reprieve from the madness.

For Camdyn, the Art Room became her sanctuary, her safe haven from everything threatening to drive her crazy. She successfully avoided running into the boys, reaching the fourth floor in record timing—it helped that she developed shortcuts in the four years she'd been escaping there.

Relief flooded every nerve in Camdyn's body upon finding the Art Room empty, void of anyone who might inquire why she'd chosen to hide away instead of join the festivities. Even Corbyn was absent from their shared corner at the easel in the far back of the room, a gift Camdyn would remember to thank the universe for later.

Camdyn let her dreams take the form of charcoal-grey lines, her hand gliding effortlessly across the pages. Hours passed and still the late afternoon sun illuminated her in that room, tucked away with nothing but her thoughts and whispers on paper. When the door opened again, she didn't bother looking up to see who'd dared interrupt her serenity. She knew who it was.

"You're late," she said.

"I'm not Corb, Shortstack," Zach replied. He crouched down in front of her and took a strand of her curls between fidgeting fingers. As the youngest among them, Zach Herron had slipped into the role of annoying little brother with ease and Camdyn loved him for it.

Camdyn growled, slapping his hand away. "Stop fucking calling me that. What do you want?"

"You're late," he mimicked.

"Late for what?"

"Practice." Zach swiped the sketchbook from Camdyn's lap, taking a moment to flip through it as he settled back on his heels.

"You're a pain in my ass, and I'm not going to practice."

"Comes with the territory, and yes, you are."

Camdyn sighed. Completely unconvinced of the necessity of her presence at hockey practice and still upset with the group for ditching her on the first day, she saw no reason to give in to Zach's demands. She reached for her sketchbook and shoved it back in her bag.

"Camdyn, it's the first practice of the season. Do you really want to miss it? You've never missed a single practice or game. You're our good luck charm, do you really want to change that now?" Zach pointed out.

Camdyn scowled. "Yeah. That was before my entire friend group betrayed me and threw me to the wolves. I'm not going and there's nothing you can say to make me change my mi—"

"Corbyn's asking for you."

"You, Zachary Dean Herron, are the proverbial pain in my ass. And I hate you."

Zach laughed, holding out his hand to help her up. "No, you don't. Now can we go before we're actually late?"

The walk to the rink was short, filled with comfortable silence. Zach didn't press Camdyn for answers about her attitude back in the Art Room, it'd be pointless to anyway. They parted ways outside the locker room, Zach promised to cover for Camdyn's tardiness with the boys if Camdyn promised not to bail halfway through.

She took her seat on the floor near the center line, and retrieved her sketchbook from her bag. The Cyclones waited until every player was present and accounted for to begin practice, a rule which extended to Camdyn and she winced. She was an hour late. Zach had volunteered to find her, which meant that Zach, too, was an hour late. And Camdyn would get an earful from her brother.

At the sound of whistle blowing and maniacal shouting, she glanced up to see Corbyn had entered the Penalty Box.

"What— Practice just started, Besson. How?"

Corbyn turned to face her, the beginnings of a proper shiner taking shape around his left eye. He grinned, she scowled.

Camdyn's eyes followed the commotion. Jonah was escorting Daniel off of the ice, sticks and gloves left behind. Daniel's left arm wrapped around his ribs, he leaned against Jonah for support.

"What the hell did you do?" she asked, confused and annoyed.

"Worth it," he said, taking a seat.

Zach skated past, lifting the cage of his helmet. He locked eyes with Camdyn, a mischievous glint rested in his own. "See? This is what happens when you're fucking late to practice."

• • •

Shawn Mendes's life had always been pretty easy.

With parents who loved him more than life itself, and a little sister who looked up to him as if he'd hung the stars in the sky, Shawn's life couldn't be better. But Shawn didn't always have it so easy when it came to academics; for the last four years, the boy found himself toeing the line between being the perfect person everyone expected him to be and wanting to make a name for himself that he was proud of. And that's how he found himself once again sitting in the front seat of his fathers SUV on the way to yet another new school.

"This is the third new school in a year and a half, Shawn," his father reminded. "We're doing all we can to make this time easier on you but you must give us something to work with."

"I know, Dad," came Shawn's indifferent reply. He wasn't thrilled, far from it, in fact. He'd much rather have stayed at his old school with his old routines and old everything. At least there he could disappear if he truly desired.

It's not that Shawn didn't have friends or couldn't fit in, it's that Shawn just didn't care enough to try. He never cared much about the people or the legacy he'd leave behind after he graduated, so he put in minimal effort and did just enough to get by. His teachers called him disagreeable and unteachable; his family moved twice to accommodate the change.

This time would be the last, this time it was up to Shawn.

Shawn's father drove down Main Street, the afternoon sun lit their journey. "This has to be the last time, Shawn. We can't keep doing this. We won't keep doing this." His father sighed, grip on the steering wheel knuckle-white as he pulled up outside the prestigious Academy's entrance. "We love you, you know that. But you've got to think of your sister, too. Look out for her, boarding school will be difficult to adapt to."

Shawn sighed, laying his head against the cool glass of the passenger window. Of course he'd keep an eye out for Aaliyah, she was his Little Angel, he wouldn't let anything happen to her. He glanced in the back seat to where the young girl had fallen asleep on the way there—car rides always put her to sleep—and he smiled.

The strong iron gates opened and they drove to the front. The Dean of Students was waiting for them, along with who Shawn could only guess was one of many Housing Advisors.

"You must be Mr. Mendes," the Dean said as Shawn's father emerged from the car. Both men exchanged a polite handshake before the Dean turned to the two children accompanying him. "And you must be our new students. Welcome. Christian will be happy to show you around while your father and I speak for a moment."

Shawn looked at his father and could only lament their parting. It was for the best, but he knew his apathetic behavior was to blame. "Dad, I—"

"Go on, Shawn. I'll be along shortly. Remember: look after your sister."

Shawn nodded and took Aaliyah by the hand.

"C'mon, Liyah. Let's go." He gave his sister's hand a gentle squeeze, and they followed after Christian. Shawn could feel his anxiety rising, but swallowed it down for his sister's sake.

"This is where you both will be staying," Christian said, gesturing to the sturdy cobblestone building behind him. "It is co-Ed, usually just upperclassmen live here. But since you both requested not to be split up, we made that happen. There is another little boy about your age, Aaliyah, who lives here as well. I promise you won't be lonely."

Christian led them inside, offering smiles to the residents on their way to and fro as they passed. "Down that way—" he pointed to his left— "is the Dining Hall. Breakfast is any time between 5:30 and 6:45 am. Lunch depends on your itinerary, you don't have to come back to the house for that. There's an on-site cafeteria. Supper is between 6 and 8 pm."

Shawn took the campus map Christian handed out and showed it to Aaliyah. Her nerves were affecting his, but he didn't let it show through. He was strong because she needed him to be.

"You okay?" he asked.

The young girl nodded. "Mm-hmm. A little hungry, though."

"I'm sure this is a big transition for both of you. Feel free to look around, take your time to get acquainted. If you have any questions, I'll be around. Welcome to Windermere Academy and Bristol House." Christian bid the duo farewell with a bow and headed up western staircase.

"Well, this is it Li, what do you think?"

"Don't screw this up for me, Shawn," the ten-year-old commanded.

Shawn's head snapped down to get a good look at his sister. His expression was dumbfounded as he stared at her, unsure of how to respond. He stuttered, "A-Aaliyah?"

"I like it here. I want to stay."

"Oh." Shawn blinked. His brain short circuited and he could think of nothing more to say. He chuckled softly. Damn, she's a firecracker. She'll be just fine.

The doors to Bristol House opened again, and in rushed two boys around Shawn's height. One supported by the other, the former looking roughed up and in need of light medical attention. Behind them, a young girl hastily followed, concern etched over her features as she carried three book bags and two sets of hockey gear. They raced up the same western staircase the Housing Advisor had gone.

"Christian!" the taller one screamed as they climbed the stairs two-by-two.

"Swear to god, I'm gonna beat the living shit out of Corbyn Besson!" the girl snarled.

Shawn couldn't take his eyes off of her.

[prismatales]

Reminiscence

Word count: 1.8k

Bingo slot: Fireflies

Pairings: None (Sibling bonding! Touya x Reader)

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, slight angst, slight mention of injuries.

Synopsis: Touya takes his little sister on an adventure to see the "fairies".

This is my first entry for @bnhabookclub's bingo event! Special thanks to @pixxiesdust, @honeytama and @samanthaa-leanne for beta reading this for me!

There are things Touya dislikes in the world. But if there's something he absolutely despises with a strength nearly as powerful as his flames, is when his father's actions end up hurting someone in his family.

Like right now, for example, as he holds his crying sister in his arms. Poor little Y/N can't seem to stop weeping after the constant mistreatment of their father. The man's harsh attitude eventually took a toll on the little girl. All because she turned out to be quirkless, or as he deems her, "Just another failure".

Touya's glaring at nothing in particular as he thinks about the old man. His self-restraint is challenged when he has to hold back the anger to evade lashing out at the man they have the misfortune of calling "father."

But right now, his main focus is calming down the little girl, crying in his arms while he's sitting on his futon at the same time he tries to console her.

"Shhh, It's okay y/n."

He may not admit it, but out of all his siblings, she has to be his favorite sister. After all, she's the only one out of their brothers and sister who shares the most traits with him. 

Growing up, Touya came to despise his appearance. Every time he looked at his reflection in the mirror, the sight of that crimson hair and those teal colored eyes always made him feel alienated from Natsuo and Fuyumi. 

After all, they only had some slight streaks of red hair, unlike Touya, who's whole head sported the same red locks of hair as him.

So, when his mother gave birth to a healthy pair of twins, and he saw the little boy who's left side of his head had the same hair color as him, as well as the little girl, who's hair was completely engulfed in the same shade of red as him. Touya almost wanted to cry in the spot, and that loneliness in his heart stopped soon after that.

He actually cried, but if you ask him, he'll always say otherwise.

His eyes wander around his room in search of a distraction, and something catches Touya's attention. The calendar at the top of his desk, with the current date circled down in a fine line of bright red marker. It gives the teenager a great idea, one, that would most likely calm down his little sister instantly.

"Hey, Y/N." She sniffs weakly, wiping away the teardrops rolling down her face with her tiny hand, before looking up at her big brother. "Did you know that there's a place nearby, where you can see fairies?" 

As soon as he mentions the magical creatures, her eyes instantly light up, wide open in wonder as she looks at him with pure innocence in her eyes. 

"Really?" she asks her brother, who smiles in relief upon seeing her reaction. Touya nods eagerly, playing along to distract her from the past events.

"Yes! But they only appear if you're a strong person! Are you strong, y/n?" He pokes her in the nose with his index finger, and she can't help closing her eyes in surprise. Squeals erupt from her throat by her brother's antics, and he struggles to fight back a chuckle.

"I am strong!" she shouts, still rubbing the small tears away from her puffy face.

"Strong enough to stop crying?" he asks her with vigor, and his attempts to cheer her up work when she sniffles one more time, before nodding at him with a fierce pout, the sight nearly makes Touya clutch his heart, amused by the little rascal pretending to be brave.

"Yeah!" 

"Good! Then go get ready, 'cause I'm taking you to see the fairies!"

She gasps loudly, nodding rapidly at her brother before dashing out of his room with hurried steps, and once the sound of her footsteps disappear in the distance, Touya lets out a relieved sigh, before bursting into a wholehearted laugh at her enthusiasm.

He stands up from his futon in a hurry, and begins preparing everything he'll need for their small trip. 

......

"Are we there yet?" 

In one hand, Touya holds on to his sister's tiny hand as they walk together. In the other hand, he's holding the strap of a messenger bag hanging over his shoulder, careful not to graze the bandages wrapped all the way up from the wrist to the shoulder.

"Patience y/n, we're almost there." 

The sunset fills the surroundings in gorgeous hues of pinks and purples, and if it wasn't for his current motivation, Touya would have stopped in the middle of the bridge to stare at the bright, glimmering reflection in the water for hours. 

"Give me a minute, y/n." Rummaging through his bag, Touya pulls out a camera. He starts taking pictures of the sunset reflecting in the water below the bridge, capturing the aesthetically pleasing scenario before him. He takes a look at the final result, and after humming in approval, he puts the camera back into his bag, before taking his sister’s hand to continue walking.

The closer they get to their destination, the sky begins to change colors again, until nothing but blue shades fill the sky.

"Here we are!" Touya stopped in front of a small, empty playground, and y/n quickly began looking around, waiting for the "fairies" to come out any moment now. This time, her brother couldn't hold back his laughter.

"This is only the gateway, come on. The fairies are waiting."

At the other side of the playground, there's a small trail leading into a forest. Touya takes her sister along with him along the rows of trees, and the deeper they go, the darker it seems to get around them. 

Until Touya finds the place he was looking for, a small lake deep inside the forest, surrounded by bushes and lilies all around it.

"Isn't it pretty y/n?" he asks his little sister, who won't stop looking at her surroundings, admiring the scenario before her. Right as she's about to question her brother, the teenager crouches down in front of her, and points at a spot in front of them.

That's when she sees the small dots of light start to appear all around the forest, illuminating everything around them with their gentle light.

"Look, the fairies are here!"

But the little girl becomes awfully quiet, and for a minute Touya begins to worry. Until she turns to look at him with the most awestruck look he's ever seen on her tiny face, and starts pointing at the shining creatures flying cheerfully all around them.

"F-Fairies are real! Touya, they're real!"

She's already running off to look at a spot in the grass, where these fairies seem to be having a good time.

While y/n is distracted by the fairies, Touya sits down on the grass, watching the lake's surface where the lights seem to dance happily.

"Touya look!" She quickly approaches her brother, and in her tiny hands, there's a small light in her palm,  without a single worry in their miniature soul.

"I guess the fairies like you. Do you know what that means?" 

She tilts her head in curiosity, before shaking it softly.

"It means you're one of them now!" Touya yells excitedly, and that brings a bright smile to the face of the little girl standing in front of him.

"I'm a fairy?!" She bounces on her spot, careful not to hurt her little friend resting in the palms of her hands.

"Even better than a fairy." He ruffles her hair reassuringly, turning her hair into a wild mess of red locks. "You're a firefly!"

"Firefly?" She looks back at the little bug, sitting nonchalantly in its place, before looking back at her brother, smiling at him one more time. "I'm a firefly!"

She happily runs back to the bushes, where she releases her friend back in place. More lights begin surrounding the lake. And Touya smiles at the child's antics before he starts looking through his bag again, and pulls out his camera before taking pictures all over the place. 

y/n is too distracted by another handful of fireflies, to notice her brother taking a picture of her. As he looks at the final result, the small screen displays the current hour, and Touya can't help wincing once he realizes they've been in the lake for a longer time than he thought.

A small, contagious yawn catches his attention, and he watches as y/n it's starting to doze off. 

"Come on firefly, it's time to go back home." Touya puts the camera back in his bag, before helping his sister crawl on his back. Her tired eyes look back at the lake, and the small dots of light still dancing around eagerly.

"Hey, Touya?" She's struggling to fight back her drowsiness, and manages to ask her brother a question before her eyes begin to close, and she slowly falls asleep on his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Can we...Can we bring Shouto along next time?" 

Touya can't help but grimace, knowing that with their father around, it would be impossible to take their little brother along, but he doesn't have the courage to tell y/n the truth, and with a deep breath, he answers.

"...Of course we can."

As Touya passes by the same bridge from before, he can feel his sister's body go limp on his back, sleep overtaking her tiny body. But even with the slight pain coursing through his bandaged arm, he can't bring himself to move her from the place. At least, not until they're finally back home.

The house is dead silent once he comes inside, and with a careful pace, he takes y/n to her room. Tucking her into the futon before walking back to his own room, where he pulls the camera out of his bag and on top of a shelf, and lets himself faceplant on his own bed with a slight bounce.

..........

"Come on Shouto, this way!" Shouto tries to keep up with his sister, but she just keeps walking with an excited spring on her step as she guides him through the forest, eager to take him to this place she's been talking about for weeks now.

"Are you sure we should be out here this late?" He can't help being amused by her enthusiasm. This is the first time he's seen her this excited after they started spending more time with each other.

"It's fine, trust me!" She stops in her steps before turning to both sides of the forest, and with a triumphant "aha!" she starts walking to the right side of the forest.

"I used to come here with Touya, and I've always wanted to show you this place! You're going to love it, trust me!" 

@bnha-ra @bnhabookclub @gallickingun @godtieruwu @hanniejji @mysticalite @savagetrickster @shoobirino @songsforbnha @sugacookiies @t-amajiki @unbreakableeiji @undead0relived @wesparklebitchu