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jerseydeanne · 3 years ago

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Why Harry and Meghan must not be allowed to overshadow the Queen’s Jubilee - While we can sympathise with the Queen for building bridges, do we really want the Meghan and Harry psychodrama to dominate this event?

Ninety-six years ago on Thursday April 21, at 2.40am in the morning, in a house in Mayfair, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary was born to the then Duke and Duchess of York. The baby girl was not supposed to become one of this country’s greatest monarchs. Only an accident of fate – and the folly of her Uncle Edward, who preferred an American divorcée to the English throne – led to her becoming our Queen.

In a letter to his wife, Winston Churchill, who had just made the acquaintance of the two-year-old Elizabeth, said: “The latter is a character, having an air of authority and reflectiveness astonishing in an infant.” In truth, our Queen was never young and, until quite recently, she managed to never be old.

She was 10 years and eight months old when the abdication took place and she became heir presumptive. Like Shakespeare’s Portia, Elizabeth could have tossed her blonde curls and sighed: “In terms of choice, I am not solely led by nice direction of a maiden’s eyes. Besides, the lottery of my destiny bars me the right of voluntary choosing.” But she never minded. To an astonishing degree, the young girl accepted that she could never choose. Noel Coward was right. He quipped that they ought to put up a statue to Wallis Simpson, “for saving us all from the horrors of Edward VIII”.

Queen Elizabeth the Second is the best bit of luck our country ever had, in the modern era at least. Now, with just under two months to go until her official birthday, it’s clear she is conserving all her remaining strength for the Platinum Jubilee. Seventy years on the throne is the cue for great national celebration (and gratitude), but it has also exposed painful and potentially deeply damaging tensions within her family.

This week, aides are said to have suggested that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have been invited to appear on the Buckingham Palace balcony during the festivities, but “can have no formal role”. Surely, an uneasy and possibly unworkable compromise, particularly when Duchess Meghan realises she has been given a non-speaking part. Uh-oh!

Whether that information about the balcony invitation actually came from the Palace itself or from the slick, ever-busy PR machine of Harry and Meghan, who recently dropped in for tea with Granny at Windsor Castle, is hard to discern.

Many monarchists are understandably dismayed by the idea that the self-exiled, semi-detached Royal couple who have caused Her Majesty so much embarrassment – not least giving that interview to Oprah Winfrey alleging that a senior Royal was racist when Prince Philip was pretty much on his deathbed – will play any role whatsoever in the Jubilee.

Those same helpful “aides” have conceded that, while the Sussexes being present on the balcony would “mean a lot to Her Majesty”, it would take “a leap of faith from all sides”.

You can say that again. In the Oprah interview, a churlish Harry effectively accused Prince Charles of cutting him off without a penny, even though his baffled father had forked out several million of his own fortune to set his son up in regal splendour in California. Meanwhile, Meghan who, like her husband, is never one to let a grudge go, publicly accused Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, of making her cry before the Sussexes’ wedding. The charge against his wife made Prince William furious and, according to Tina Brown in her new book, The Palace Papers, the two brothers are barely on speaking terms.

A source who has observed the sibling rift at close quarters says, “You just want to get them in a corner and knock their heads together and tell them to grow up.”

Prince Harry, so permanently aggrieved he cannot take yes for an answer, continues to kick up a stink about paying for his own security in the UK, even though he and Meghan seem to have managed perfectly well with private guards during this week’s Invictus Games in the Netherlands. In addition, the Prince’s “heartfelt memoir”, scheduled for publication this autumn, promises to be about as family-friendly as an improvised explosive device.

Under the circumstances, the Red Arrows are going to have to put on their most spectacular ever fly-past on June 2 to distract from an unseasonal, deep frost on the Palace balcony between the Sussexes, the Cambridges, the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall. (Poor Camilla is cordially loathed by Diana’s younger son, who hates the idea of her being Queen, according to Tina Brown.) And all of it filmed by Netflix with whom Harry and Meghan have a multi-million dollar deal.

With the death of the Duke of Edinburgh, the Queen lost her wisest counsellor. Lacking the family’s unsentimental chieftain, she has made some questionable decisions. Allowing the disgraced Prince Andrew to accompany her to Philip’s memorial service raised eyebrows. Now, her affection for her mischievous grandson risks distracting from what should be a moment of unalloyed personal triumph.

While we can sympathise with the Queen for wishing to build bridges, do her subjects really want the Meghan and Harry psychodrama to dominate this special national event? I certainly don’t. Their selfish exploitation of their position is nauseating.

Nor is it hard to imagine how undelighted William and Kate must feel at the prospect of a very public reunion. The Cambridges are trying very hard not to put a foot wrong, working to keep the monarchy on track during this transition while the Beverly Hillbillies let it all hang out in sneakers and jeans, then think they can just show up for Granny’s bash and grab the wholly undeserved glory. If the Windsors hope to buy Prince Harry’s silence by bringing him and Meghan back into the fold, my guess is it will take more than a balcony appearance to assuage that pair’s perpetual sense of victimhood.

How very different from our Queen. She grew up to epitomise the virtues of selflessness, modesty, duty and service. Values which are seldom apparent in the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

If they have any class, Harry and Meghan will politely decline the Queen’s kind invitation to join her on the balcony on the 70th anniversary of her accession. That occasion is for her and for everything she has stood for. Long to reign over us. How lucky, so very lucky, we have been.

source: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/columnists/2022/04/19/harry-meghan-must-not-allowed-overshadow-queens-jubilee/

#meghan markle #prince harry #queen elizabeth #platinum jubilee #british royal family

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lightsupinthenorth · 4 years ago

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For the prompts, 46 + 91? 🙏❤️💕

Thank you so much for sending these sweetheart <3

I hope you’ll enjoy ;)

46. Dance with me + 91. That’s in the past

If he had imagined how prom would go at the beginning of Junior year, Steve would have seen himself as Prom King, dancing with whatever beautiful girl had been elected Queen before the admirative and envious eyes of their classmates.

But Steve never imagined what Prom would be like, then, because he never thought he had to imagine it. It would just happen, and it would go swimmingly, because he was the King of Hawkins High and that was how everything went in his life, at that point.

He had not foreseen that his entire kingdom would come crumbling down as it had. Gone were the ‘friends’ that acted as subjects, gone were the invitations to every party, gone were the popularity and the privileges it had brought.

Nancy was gone, too, though it had more to do with Jonathan being a way better fit for her, and less to do with Steve’s eviction from his throne.

If anyone had predicted this to Steve the previous year, he would have laughed, not believing a word of it. And if he had believed it, because of some uncanny proof that the prediction would come true, he would have been terrified. He would have hidden it, of course, but the fear still would have been there, in his heart, making his chest tighten and his breath shorten.

Thankfully, it had come out of nowhere. If there had been signs, Steve had not noticed any of them. And he was grateful for that, for his cluelessness. Because, worrying about his fall from grace would have been worrying about nothing.

Because the fall had meant nothing, in the grand scheme of life. Sure, it had stung to see the ones he considered his friends abandoning him as soon as popularity had, changing his status from royalty to nobody. He had soon realized that he was better off without them, though. They weren’t real friends. They weren’t real, period. They only cared about appearances, and Steve strangely had no fuck to give about those anymore.

He ended up going stag to the prom, and he wasn’t even ashamed of it… of third wheeling Nancy and Jonathan, his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Despite the less than ideal circumstances, they turned out to be better friends to Steve than his followers ever were.

So, when he went outside after chatting for a while and drinking some punch, he didn’t do it out of humiliation or self-pity. He just left to get a break, maybe smoke a cig or two, and let Nancy and Jonathan have some time on their own. They were too nice to ask for it, but Steve knew they’d be glad to be free of him for a moment

And maybe, just maybe… a small part of Steve needed a break because he couldn’t take staring at Billy Hargrove from across the gym, which had been tackily decorated for the occasion as it was every year without fail.

Billy had come in with Tina on his arm. He had been wearing a dashing suit, complete with a bow tie and everything, but he had ditched the jacket barely ten minutes in, and the bow tie had closely followed. When Steve had last thrown a glance in his direction, Billy had been looking flushed, with his curls in disarray, his sleeves rolled up and half of the buttons of his shirt undone.

How was Steve supposed to endure such a sight? It was straight up cruel. So, he decided to go somewhere he couldn’t see Billy anymore. Somewhere he could ignore how weak he was for the other boy.

He had barely lit his second cigarette when he was startled by the sound of approaching footsteps. He had chosen to go all the way around the building to be left alone and, obviously, it was a failure. But Steve had dealt with failure plenty of times before. One more time wouldn’t kill him.

The fact that the intruder was no other than Billy Hargrove might do the trick, though. Steve really was the luckiest son of a bitch out there, these days... He sighed, bracing himself for Billy’s teasing (which would undoubtedly happen any minute).

“Hey Harrington, can I bum one?” He asked, pointing at the pack of cigarettes laid on the floor, next to where Steve was sitting with his back against the brick wall and his legs bent at the knees.

“Sure, help yourself.” Steve replied, tearing his gaze away from Billy as he brought his lighter to the cigarette hanging from his mouth.

After all, Steve had been adamant about not looking at him, and he ought to stick with that. For his own well-being.

Anyway, Billy had just come here for a smoke. Now that he had what he had been looking for, he would be on his merry way.

Steve thought he had Billy figured out, but he was proved wrong a second later, when Billy sat down next to him, holding his now lit cigarette in his left hand. He was so close that Steve could feel the heat of his body against his side and smell his strong cologne. It didn’t smell the same as it usually did. Maybe Billy had another one, one he reserved for special occasions. It was a strong scent, but Steve liked it. It had character. It suited Billy.

“Why are you out there all alone, Pretty boy?”

“I just wanted some fresh air.” Steve answered lamely, trying to focus on the smoke filling his lungs and not on Billy’s overwhelming presence.

“I’m not sure smoking and fresh air are compatible, princess.”

Steve shrugged. “Let’s say I came here for the peace and quiet, then.” He said, turning briefly toward Billy to give him a pointed look.

Let him believe Steve didn’t want him there more than he’d wanted anything in a long time.

Billy just blew his smoke in Steve’s face, like the asshole he was.

“You want peace and quiet… On prom night? Where has King Steve gone?”

Steve scoffed.

“You’ve got some nerves, asking me that. As if you didn’t know.”

Billy knew better than anyone where King Steve had gone. He’d been the one who had dethroned him the second (at least that was how it had felt like) he had set foot in town. The golden boy from California. He could drink more and quicker than Steve, he was better at basketball, he had more muscles, and he had a bad boy look that Steve and his polo shirts were no rivals for. Steve had not stood a chance against him. He was fine with it, though. He was not jealous. He knew what it was like, being King, and it wasn’t as nice as everyone made it out to be.

“Do you miss it, being King?” Billy asked, stubbing out his cigarette on the concrete ground.

“That’s in the past.” Was all Steve said to summarize the train of thought he had just had.

He had not pulled on his cigarette in a while, preferring to watch it burn, the tip of it glowing brightly in the darkness.

“Mmh… I guess it is. Though I bet half the chicks in that gym would sell their mother for a dance with you, King or no King.”

“They wouldn’t need to go that far. Just asking would do.” Steve replied, choosing not to dwell on the fact that Billy was complimenting him, in a way.

“And no one did?” Billy asked.

“No…” Steve sighed, not because he was disappointed he had not been asked to dance, but because he was bracing himself for the mocking Billy would surely unleash upon him.

“Well, it’s their loss.”

Steve turned toward Billy again, surprised. Shocked, even. He wanted to try and decipher Billy’s expression, but Billy was facing forward, the sky was pitch dark, and the deem light filtering though the high windows of the gym barely changed anything.

“What about you? What are you doing here with stupid old me when you should be dancing with your stunning date?”

Steve had paid more attention to Billy than he had to Tina when they had made their entrance, but he wasn’t blind. He had noticed how gorgeous she was in her bright red gown. How could he have not, when she was the one who had won Billy’s favor.

“I just wanted to chill.”

Steve refrained from pointing out that “chilling” was very similar to “peace and quiet”, which Billy apparently found unfitting for a King.

“Besides… Tina isn’t the one I want to dance with.”

“Why did you ask her to be your date, then?”

Steve frowned.

“I didn’t, she was the one who asked me actually.” Billy supplied.

Steve rolled his eyes. Details.

“Well, why did you say yes instead of declining so you could invite who you really wanted?”

“’Cause that person wasn’t an option, pretty boy.”

Billy was now fidgeting with a button of his shirt, which threatened to come undone. He’d end up half-naked if he weren’t careful. Not that Steve would warn him about that risk. He wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Bullshit. I’m sure anyone would have said yes.”

Steve wouldn’t usually have complimented Billy so freely, afraid that it would be too telling. But Billy had said something in the same vein to him a few minutes before, so Steve deemed it acceptable.

“Mh, I’m not so sure. It’s too late, anyway.”

“No it’s not! The night is far from over, you could still ask your crush for a dance. Tina will probably be mad at you, but she’ll find a replacement, I’m sure.”

Steve didn’t know why he was encouraging Billy to go after someone that wasn’t him. Maybe he simply wanted to see Billy happy, for a change.

And yeah, maybe he had only used the word “crush” in the hope that Billy would roll his eyes and deny having a one. But it didn’t work, anyway: Billy didn’t deny anything.

Something even better happened, though. Something so amazing that Steve was barely able to register it, at first.

Instead of getting all offended for being accused of harboring something as silly as a “crush”, Billy blurted out:

“Dance with me.”

Billy’s tone suggested an invitation to fight, more than an invitation to dance, so Steve thought he had misheard. It was the only plausible explanation, right? Billy Hargrove had not just invited Steve to dance, right?

“What?” He said dumbly, eyes as wide as saucers, mouth agape.

“You heard me.”

“Uh… was that a rehearsal for when you really ask the girl you want to dance with? Because, if so, you should try going about it a little less aggressively…”

“Don’t play dumb, Steve.”

Steve was not playing, was the thing.

“If you don’t want to, just say so. You don’t need to spare my fucking feelings, or whatever.”

Billy had spit out the word “feelings” like he would have an insult, which was funny considering the actual curse he had used had sounded softer in his mouth.

“I do!”

“Right, I’ll just go back inside...” Billy managed to sound both angry and defeated.

Steve’s brain nearly short-circuited from the confusion elicited by Billy’s reaction, but then he realized how what he had said might have come across.

“I mean, I do want to dance!” He nearly yelled, holding back a retreating Billy by grabbing one of his shirt lapels.

Billy froze mid-gesture and then got back to his initial position.

“Oh.”

He didn’t say anything else, and Steve wondered if he had broken him. He certainly hoped not.

He got up and extended his hand to Billy.

“May I have this dance, Your Majesty.” Steve asked.

Billy probably didn’t need the stroke to his ego, but Steve provided it wholeheartedly, nonetheless.

Billy didn’t answer verbally, but his hand taking Steve’s offered one was answer enough.

Steve pulled him up and put his hands on Billy’s waist. Shockingly, Billy didn’t fight it, placing his arms around Steve’s neck and letting Steve lead.

The music from inside was reaching them, albeit faintly. Steve could also hear the entrance door slamming from time to time, as well as the loud voices and shrill laughter of the group of girls having a conversation on the other side of the building, but it barely registered to him.

Every ounce of his attention was on Billy and how he felt against him. He had a lot of questions to ask him, but they could wait. Soon, too soon, the song they were dancing to would end, and then prom would end too, a few hours later. After that night, they’d have all the time in the world to discuss what exactly had transpired. For now, Steve wanted to enjoy every second he got to hold Billy in his arms and be held in return.

When Steve heard the last note, he reluctantly let go of his dance partner, but Billy’s arms tightened around him, preventing him from separating their embrace.

“Aren’t you afraid you’re going to miss the prom King coronation?”

Billy would most probably win. It would surely make an impression (and not a good one), if he was nowhere to be found when his name was called and his presence required on stage.

“I don’t give a fuck, Steve. Now shut up and get back to it.”

“Fine by me.”

Steve put his hands back where they belonged and smiled, delighted that the brief moment he had tried so hard to make the best of just got extended for an undetermined amount of time.

The tempo of the following song was far too fast for slow dancing, but Steve couldn’t find it in himself to care. And, clearly, neither did Billy.

Out there in the night, they had their own rhythm, their own music, their own world.

#Harringrove #Steve Harrington #Billy Hargrove #fanfiction #prompts #asks #I didn't use the prompts in order #is that cheating? ^^#also I think I got mushy #oops?

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screenmotional · 4 years ago

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SWEETHEART (2021)

Dir. Marley Morrison

Coming of age. The period of rebellion. Hostility to the world around us. The rush of emotions and their complete lack. Cinema knows many stories about growing up in which we see the main character struggling with changes taking place in his body and mind. It's no different in Marley Morrison's feature debut "Sweetheart", which tells the story of 17-year-old April spending her family vacation in the seaside town of Dorset, England. The park, full of caravans, will be the backdrop for events in which AJ, as that’s how she wants to be called, will rediscover herself and her family during a holiday romance. It is worth adding that the object of her feelings and sighs will be beautiful, equally young and flirtatious girl Isla, who while working in Dorset as a lifeguard, will throw a love lifebuoy towards April. Will AJ be able to catch it and swim to the surface safely and unscathed?

The film opens with a scene in which we see AJ and her mother Tina and a younger and sweet sister on their way to their summer adventure. The first seconds already suggest that the main character would rather spend this time differently, preferably alone. The cool look of orange glasses, the lack of any excitement and the youthful rebellion on April's face instantly makes this young and arrogant girl close to us as if we had known her for years. Hearing the opening words of the (excellent) soundtrack 'My mum says that I look like a nervous wreck / Because I bite my nails right down to the flesh' the viewer may already suspect that it will be another necessary film about the mother-daughter relationship and youthful challenges, which, as history will show, will make those few intense days (and nights) in Dorset unique and needed by all protagonists. Tina (a very good role by Jo Hartley known from Netflix's ‘After Life’) as a loving and willing mother will do everything in her powers to cheer up her daughter. She probably does not like the fact that AJ struggles with the cruel world in which cows are killed (AJ is a vegetarian) and everything else is wrong. Tina desires for AJ to spend this time in joy and with a smile on her face. Throwing casually What, mom?, AJ (played by the excellent and charismatic Nell Barlow) manifests a certain dose of bitterness and tiredness for the world around her with her indifferent but charming body language. Perhaps she is too COOL to spend another vacation with her mother and two sisters. The older one, Lucy, and her cute boyfriend will only make April feel worse.

By creating the narrative system of the story, AJ makes us know what she feels, what she felt and what upsets her. Who she is, who she was and who she is becoming. This procedure, no matter how negative the main character is towards everything and everyone, will bring us closer to her and will allow us to be filled with an extremely strong sympathy. We will be cheering for her from the very first moments. We want to make friends with her because I think each of us was once like April. An embarrassed, pissed off and misunderstood young person, whom no one could comprehend. We should not miss the fact that she has to struggle, to some extent, with the synthesis of emotions and feelings towards the same sex, which she does not seem particularly embarrassed about.

The family accepts AJ's sexual orientation and even cheers her on when Isla (played by Ella-Rae Smith, known from Netflix's series ‘The Stranger’) suddenly appears in her vacation frame. The holiday atmosphere, the carelessness of the moments and the chance that the girl has the same sympathy at least to a small extent will suddenly make AJ smile and will light up a spark of hope in her heart. And although it may sound sloppy and has some shades of kitsch, this is what first love or first infatuation is. Full of optimism and butterflies in the stomach. That first text message, first one-on-one, this first gaze. Everything seems to be the first in April's life, although she, through skillfully told anecdotes, gives the impression of being mature and experienced for her young age. She is a smart and cool girl. We want her to succeed. We believe in every gesture she makes, her every sigh. We like her arguing with Mom and sister. And it's great to watch thanks to the roles created by talented and young actresses. But not only they shine on the screen.

A gallery of interesting and friendly characters enriching the background of the film make it one of those productions in which you would love to participate. You like these characters and you will be very fond of them. Steve, as the boyfriend of his older sister April (played by Samuel Anderson), is an extremely warm character. His relationship with his family and the freedom of relations between him and the women around him, make him one of the nicest heroes enriching this sweet story. The naturalness of acting and the ease of relations, even those quite difficult and tense between Tina and April, are such an extremely strong advantage of the film. But something else, quite special, is also worth mentioning. There is no negative attitude towards the main character's sexual orientation in this film. Her preferences are an important part of the film and its core, however, there are no people who are hostile to her sexuality in this story. Even the younger generation people April meets in Dorset are so familiar with the subject of different variants of love and affection that there is a great urge to take their views and admirable attitude off the screen. To today's world full of hatred and incomprehension. Perhaps Tina, in some of her comments, gives the impression that it would be easier for April to choose a different path than the one that is full of disagreement with the world around her, but this is due to her motherly care and love, which Tina has a lot of. And the viewer can feel it.

It is not always easy to understand another person, and it is even more difficult when they are close to us. The film shows that it is worth and necessary to talk, even when these are difficult talks to make. Because when the thread of understanding is established, and the sun comes out after the storm, its rays will make it possible to overcome any problem. Especially in a strong and caring family. Movie’s heroes enriched with the strength of their maturity, irrelevant to their age, became better people. And such stories are always worth watching.

#sweetheart #movie #moviereview

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plentyofpetticoat · 5 years ago

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Homecoming

Sometimes it bothered Felicity that it took her 22 years to find “home.” When she looked around, at her apartment, her job, and her friends, she saw everything that she ever wanted as a child. The town provided for her in a way that her family of origin could not (and did not care to do). It was difficult to chase away the feelings of jealousy that overcame her when someone would rave to her about their parents of their hometown and what a fantastic experience it all was to have that love and security right from the start.

However, when Felicity looked around and saw all of the good that surrounded her, she could take a deep breath and release all of the envy and regret that poisoned her mind. She was lucky to have found all that she did at such an early age. She had an incredible mentor, friends who showered her with love, and a place to call her own. All things considered, that was all she needed to live a happy and fulfilling life. If she wanted to plant her roots in Echo Village and never budge an inch, she could very well do that. The only person who had a say in the matter was Felicity herself.

However, that did not mean that other voices could not sway her.

Out of all of the residents of Echo Village, Felicity was by far the closest with Clement. He was more than just her mentor and employer; he was her lighthouse amid uncertain waters. Though his love for her was not exactly identical to that of a father’s, it still filled a void in Felicity’s life that had been there for as long as she could remember.

And like any good paternal-figure, he always made sure to make Felicity’s birthdays a very special occasion. The first year that she had lived in Echo, Clement bought her a brand new laptop and then hired a band to play at a special dinner party. The year after, he presented her with a three-tier cake and a gift certificate for a boutique in the city.

And as Felicity approached her 24th birthday, she found herself tapping her toes in giddy anticipation. She was not in the business of lying to herself- it felt amazing to be dotted on, especially by someone so admirable. So when Clement simply asked her to stay late at the restaurant on the night of her birthday, Felicity’s curiosity was piqued.

Once all the customers had left and the chairs were flipped up onto polished dining tables, Clement invited her back into the kitchen, where he had set up a smaller table with wine and two big servings of strawberry shortcake. Felicity approached the table, smiled wide, and thanked Clement for the gesture. After a long day on her feet, a relaxing evening with dessert and wine was just what the birthday girl needed.

As they sat, Felicity happily partook in the cake while Clement twirled his fork with a pensive expression. It was not until Felicity asked him what was on his mind that he spoke up.

“Felicity, do you want to go to Paris?”

Felicity scrunched her nose at him as she smiled. “Of course I do! What girl doesn’t want to go to Paris?”

Clement laughed, “That was not rhetorical, dear, it was a real question.”

At first, all Felicity could do was blink at him, unsure if she understood what he was saying. The question was so out of the blue that she had not considered it with any weight. Thus, she had to wait for him to venture further into the conversation so that she could organize her feelings.

“You are passionate about food, yes? Well there’s no better place than Paris to embrace that.” Clement spoke with such certainty that it was clear he had thought long and hard about his words. “I want you to experience that while you are still young, but it is entirely up to you.”

Again, Felicity just blinked at him. However, this time, her head was rushing with thoughts. While the man who sat across from her had become her mentor and dear companion, he was still Clement Delcroix, world-renowned chef who found his start in the heart of Paris. His presence in such a small, quiet town was out of the ordinary. He could have easily remained in France, charging twice as much money for half as much food. But the quaint life coaxed him to stay in Echo Village, only returning to his home country a few times out of the year to visit family.

What were the odds that he would end up sitting at a table with a gawking college drop-out, whose link to the incredible chef was a passion project in the form of an online blog? Clement selected her as his second-in-command strictly based on her passion for good food. He had not even known her name at the time of their first meeting, addressing his initial correspondence to “Ella Versailles.” And yet, somehow, this was where they ended up. Some higher power had thought Felicity worthy of this incredible gift.

With her heart racing, Felicity asked, “You want to send me to Paris?”

“Not permanently, dear.” Clement shook his head. “I would never want to dismiss the best waitress I have ever had, but I think now is the perfect time for you to take a trip and explore more of the culinary world.”

“How long, then?” Felicity’s hands were trembling under the weight of this prospective journey.

“Well, let me begin by saying I have more than one reason for wanting to send you there.” Clement stifled a laugh that did not erase the sincerity in his eyes. “My sister had a baby some months ago, and because that emmerdeur she married travels for work, she has been very stressed. She wants to get back to work, but cannot because of the baby.”

For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Felicity smiled, and she did so with a raised brow. “You’re hiring me out as an au pair?”

Clement laughed again. “I suppose that is one way to say it. My sister does not need full time care for the baby, just someone to look after her when she wants to get work done.”

“Where does she work?”

“Oh, on her farm.” Clement gave her a big smile. “She inherited the family home in Villiers-le-Bâcle, which is on a beautiful piece of farmland. Right now, she just keeps goats and chickens, but I know she wants to start her garden before the summer months. Having an extra pair of hands around the house would do wonders for her sanity. And you would be paid for your time, of course.”

Felicity nodded as Clement continued.

“The family home is gorgeous and the commune is a lovely place, but on your days off, you could explore the city. Oh, ma cherie, it is a sight to behold. No city on this earth compares.”

In the grandeur of Clement’s words, Felicity found her excitement. The man who had already given her more than any one person deserved was offering her the chance to fulfill a lifelong dream. With Clement’s blessing, she could immerse herself in a culture that she had only ever admired from afar. The obligations paled in comparison to the opportunities that awaited her in a food lover’s paradise.

Her passionate “yes!!” should have come without reservation, but she was hindered by the questions that spilled from her lips.

She asked, “What will happen here?”

Clement answered, “I will hire a new waitress for the time being, but your position will be waiting for you when you return.”

She asked, “How long will I be gone?”

Clement answered, “Annie and I thought that six months would be a good length of time, but you certainly can stay longer or come home sooner if you so choose.”

She asked, “Will it be a problem that I don’t speak French?”

Clement answered, “Not at all, dear. Most of the restaurateurs are well prepared for tourists. But if you would like, I could teach you some basic phrases before you leave.”

She asked, “Do you think I’d be good at taking care of a baby?”

Clement answered, “It will take some getting used to, but you are a quick learner. I would not have brought up this possibility if I did not have complete faith in you.”

I have complete faith in you.

It was that string of words that finally pushed Felicity to give him a certain and enthusiastic “yes.”

Clement had offered to throw her a going away party, but Felicity preferred to keep her “goodbye’s” low-key and intimate. In her mind, it would help with the inevitable home-sickness. If her last moments with her friends were calm and fulfilling, she could look back to them with ease.

Besides, she did not want her last in-person words with her friends to be muddled by wine. The tears would be hard enough to power through without the hindrance of alcohol.

It was no secret that she was going to miss her home and all of the things that had become her “normal” over the course of three years. She would miss baking cookies with Tina just as much as she would miss prying her heels off of her swollen feet at the end of a particularly arduous shift. She would miss Niko’s stories and fresh tomatoes from Rachel and waving wildly across the town square every time that she saw Rod. Paris was going to have food and fun and mystery, but it would never be Echo Village, this much she knew for certain.

So she hugged all of her friends tight, promising to return with gifts and stories in due time. They all expressed their excitement alongside their sadness for her forthcoming and extended absence. Felicity tried to battle her tears by reminding herself that this was temporary, and that she would come back to the same town and all the same people.

Clement escorted her to the airport, quizzing her on French phrases in between sentiments of love. He told her that he was proud of her for taking this leap and that his family would be indebted to her for her gracious help.

At the airport, Clement gave her one final hug.

“I’m just one call away if you need me, dear.”

“I know. Thank you.” She tightened her grasp around his shoulders and smiled. “Je t'adore.”

Her final goodbye was accented with tears, which fell even as she and Clement went their separate ways. This distance was not permanent, but that did not make the sadness any less real.

And yet, as the plane lifted off the ground and into the future, Felicity considered herself lucky that she had a home that she could miss so dearly.

Felicity could have picked out Annie in a crowd of thousands as Clement’s sister. She was similar to him in every way that a brother and sister could be similar, from physical appearance to mannerisms (though she was about a foot shorter and Felicity needed to crane her neck down to look at her). Her accent was on the thicker side, but that did not stop her from showering Felicity in words of adoration once they were both in the family home.

“Goodness! What a beauty!” She had reached up to pinch one of Felicity’s cheeks. “Are you sure you should be a waitress? You look like you could be a model!”

Felicity blushed as she waved a hand across her cheeks. “I’m very happy as a waitress.”

“Still, Clement has you hidden away in that tiny town. Such a shame. You will certainly turn heads here.”

And as Annie went to go prepare a pot of tea, Felicity sat nervously on the edge of a kitchen chair. Were she not frazzled after the long flight, she would have engaged Annie in a joyful conversation or offered to help with the tea. But this was uncharted territory for her. She was out of her element in an unfamiliar house, a stone’s throw away from a city that had fifty five thousand times the people than her home that was miles and miles and miles away.

Her face drained itself of color, and Annie noticed this as she placed two teacups with steaming water on the table.

“Are you okay?”

Felicity cleared her throat before she replied, “Yes. Sorry... I’m just nervous.”

Annie hummed quietly as she took the seat across from Felicity. “There is no need to be nervous- you will fit in well here. Clement says that you are a very determined young woman.”

As she wrapped her shaking hands around the teacup, Felicity smiled. “Did he now?”

Annie nodded in confirmation, but then expressed her desire to know more about her new household help. She asked questions about Felicity’s hobbies and interests and favorite foods (although she never touched the subject of family, which Felicity figured was Clement’s doing). It was an easy conversation, but it eventually turned to a place that made Felicity anxious again.

“Do you have a boyfriend back home?” Annie asked with a coy smile.

Felicity instinctively bit down on her lower lip, though she had no clue why the question incited such an immediate reaction. Her stomach felt like a pit as she choked out a, “No, ma’am. No boyfriend.”

“Aw, such a shame.” Annie offered Felicity an exaggerated pout. “A pretty girl like you should have a gentleman at home waiting for her.”

Felicity could feel the red threatening to take over her whole complexion, so she waved a hand with more fervor than intended. “Well the dating scene isn’t so active in our little village.”

“I suppose…” Annie looked down into her teacup. “You know, after all this time, Clement still brushes me off every time I ask him about marriage. He always talked about having a family, but at this point, he’s going to need to accept being a… er… beau-père.” She paused. “You know! He could marry a woman with a child.”

Felicity laughed and used the mention of children to ask about Annie’s baby, who had been in the next room over, fast asleep in a bassinet. This allowed Annie to segue the conversation into her own home life. She recounted her daily routines, some of which would become Felicity’s obligation in her new role. None of it seemed particularly daunting; besides changing diapers and feeding, it was all things that Felicity had done before. By and large, Annie was just in need of an extra pair of hands. Now, Felicity was not Clement’s personal assistant, but she was no stranger to the more menial tasks that could be pawned off to someone in her position.

So that’s just what she did. After a few quick lessons, she began settling into her new role. It was difficult at first- the only baby who she had ever been around for more than five minutes was her sister’s daughter. But Clementine (who was named for her Uncle Clement, who was named for his mother Clemence) loved her naps, which gave Felicity ample time in the beginning to update her loyal following on her new whereabouts.

Hello all!

I have some very exciting news and I just could not wait to share it with you guys!!

As some of you may know, I recently celebrated my 24th birthday. Much to my surprise, my dear friend has sent me to Paris! I will be staying here for the next six months and I am so excited to explore the city, see the sights, and (most importantly) eat so! much! food!!

I know that this is not what many of you follow me for, but I hope you’ll stay with me through this journey. I’m going to be stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying things that I have never tried before. If you are more interested in my local reviews, they will be back soon! As much as I’m looking forward to my time in Paris, I’m still eager to return home at the end of all of this.

As always, thank you for supporting what I do. I am so excited to share my Parisian journey with all of you.

Until next time!

À bientôt!

Ella Versailles

And exactly one week from that update, Felicity took her first short journey into the grandeur of Paris. She had to constantly remind herself to take things slow. After all, she had six months to see all of the things that she wanted to see. Even still, it was difficult not to run around the city like a kid in a candy store, eyes bright with wonder. She was in a sea of tourists, awe-struck, giddy, and overwhelmed.

Then came the food, from the breakfast nooks and teeny cafes to the street food carts and high end venues, the ones that presented her with some of the most intricate dishes she had ever seen. At first, it was difficult for her to not feel self-conscious in such establishments, especially considering the fact that she was eating alone. But when she looked around, she saw swaths of people who were so absorbed in their own lives and partners. No one would look twice at her, so long as she was quiet and following the dress code.

On occasion, Felicity would look up from her plate at the empty chair across from her and wish that she had a dining companion. Someone who could agonize over what to order… someone whose wine glass she could clink against her own. Making friends in a foreign country was proving to be a difficult task, especially considering the common language barrier. Annie was great company, but stayed firmly on her farm. And while Felicity kept in contact with her friends back home, it did not entirely make up for their lack of physical presence.

Her homesickness came to her in many different ways. It hit her when she read the morning newspaper and when she stopped to pet a particularly excitable dog on the street. Clement promised her that Echo Village would not be changing anytime soon, and that she would come back to something so familiar in due time. That was the saving grace that propelled Felicity through her difficult times…

… until a single email, three months into her journey, threw a wrench in her gears.

It came to her one evening as she was rolling her hair into curlers. She was used to the constant notifications from her phone, whether they were texts from Tina or notes from her publisher. However, this one was from an unfamiliar address, so Felicity opened it up with an edge of anxiety, a feeling that only increased as she read.

Hello Ms Versailles,

I hope that this finds you well and that you are enjoying your time in Paris.

I am contacting you on behalf of Ambulant Fille, a brand new travelling resource for women who are seeking unique travelling experiences that they cannot get anywhere else. Our team has been following your journey with Curls and Croissants and we absolutely love how passionate you are about good food! Because of this, we wanted to reach out to you to discuss a possible career opportunity with our company.

As soon as she finished reading through that first paragraph, Felicity felt like she could not breathe. The email went on for several more paragraphs. It outlined the structure, mission statement, and ultimate goals of the company. They exclusively hired women in hopes that it was the best way to reach and connect with their target audience. Then, they detailed just why they wanted “Ella” on their team. Just as Clement had done countless times, they applauded her passion. Their top criteria for their prospective “culinary correspondent” was just to simply love food. They wanted to trust this person and their opinions, as those would be broadcast to women across the world who were looking for the best Parisian experience as possible.

They concluded the email by essentially saying that the position was Felicity’s to lose, and that they were eagerly looking forward to her response.

Less than ten seconds after she read the final line, Felicity was on the phone with Clement. She frantically summarized the email to him, nearly forgetting to breathe between each sentence. She could hardly believe the words that were spilling out of her lips. It was surreal. It was strange. It did not make sense!!

Once Clement had the opportunity, he spoke to Felicity with a smile that she could hear. “That’s wonderful, dear! You have certainly earned this.”

“Well should I take it?” Felicity had to resist the urge to bite her nails down to stubs.

“Do you want to take it?”

“I don’t know!!” Felicity spoke into her fist. “I-I… haven’t thought about it yet.”

“Well,” Clement replied, “I suggest that you meet with them. Learn about the company. Ask a lot of questions. This is a big decision, so you should feel confident about your answer, one way or another.”

Felicity paused and pursed her lips. She had to give herself some time to process this new information, or else she would drive herself mad. The email did not give her the whole story, and she would benefit from an open conversation with the people who could quite possibly change her life. And as much as this prospect shook her to her core, she owed it to herself to give it a shot.

So Felicity wished Clement good night and took a sleeping pill, figuring that it was the only way that she would find any semblance of rest. And when she woke, she graciously replied to the email, stating that she would be more than happy to meet with the company.

They settled on a time the following week to meet at one of the cafe’s that “Ella” had given a raving review. There, Felicity sat across from two older women, both of whom spoke to her with reverence. This was not an interview, it was a job offer accented with fancy tea and pastries.

When they told Felicity that the job would require her to live in Paris, she had prematurely made up her mind to tell them “no.” There was no way that she could cast aside her roots in Echo Village just like that. She was not willing to leave Clement and Tina and Rod and so many others behind for a fancy new job… even if it had been her dream job for so many years.

Felicity could barely stomach her tea as she listened to the rest of their pitch, nervous about having to reject such an incredible offer.

However, her mood completely shifted when one of the women described what the position would ask of her.

“We would request that you live here for, say, four to six months. During that time, you will produce three to five reviews per week.”

The other woman continued, “We are looking to create a backlog of content that we will publish over time. Right now, our goal is to publish once per week. You would be responsible for two reviews for each issue, one for a high-end establishment and one that is more casual. There are over forty-four thousand restaurants here in the city, so you will never run out of places to try. And all of the food will be compensated, of course.”

Felicity’s jaw dropped. They went on to list other benefits and her stipend and all the while, she just stared. This did not feel real. How could this fortune have possibly fallen into her lap just like that? This was the sort of work that her colleagues and connections would dream about night after night. And there Felicity was, getting handed this opportunity on a silver platter.

Did she deserve it? Did it matter whether or not she deserved it? No. No it did not. All that mattered was Felicity’s answer, which she gave with a wide, excited smile.

“I would love to work with you!”

Felicity fulfilled her initial obligation and stayed three more months on Annie’s farm. And even as time ticked on, the turn of this journey did not feel real. It was nerve-wracking, having such a huge thing waiting for her on the other end of her first six months in Paris. She agonized over the quality of her writing and the impact of her words. Her reviews would be read by thousands of women, and Felicity felt wholly responsible for their culinary experience.

This was the first hurdle that she had to jump over in her new position. Every time that she sent a piece out for publishing, she wanted to beg for it back, just so that she could read it another five thousand times and make sure that it was as perfect as she could humanly manage. But this work that she was doing was so different than anything that she had ever experienced. Back home, her work was laidback and intimate. For the most part, she did everything on her own schedule and paid for her own meals. Curls and Croissants had never been particularly lucrative, and she was content with that. After all, she loved to write. The passion that she had for food also found its way onto her keyboard and motivated her to put out her best work.

It took three months for that passion to all but evaporate from Felicity’s life.

Writing on a schedule was stressful in a completely unique way. It was like she had an ever-present weight on her shoulders that would nag at her every single moment that she was away from her laptop.

Why aren’t you writing, Felicity? If you wait much longer, you’ll have to rush to meet the deadline. Then, your quality will drop and they won’t want you anymore.

Felicity didn’t want all of this time and effort to be in vain. She could not imagine the shame that would consume her if she were to give up halfway through. The last thing that she wanted to do was let anyone down, least of all Clement, who had put so much faith in her already. She had to see this through until the very end, no matter how bogged down or discouraged she got.

The following three months dragged on and on and on. Felicity spent so many stressful minutes staring blankly out of her tiny apartment window, missing the festivals and community and restful ways of Echo. Her contact with anyone other than Clement dropped off severely. If she was chatting on the phone, then she was not working, and if she was not working, she did not deserve to be there. All she could do was cross off the passing days on her calendar and beg the universe to hurry the hell up!!!

April approached slowly but surely. In the end, Felicity had produced over 120 reviews for the travelling company, keeping them stocked for quite some time. That was what gave Felicity peace as she all but sprinted out of her final meeting. Her luggage was already packed and her ride was already arranged. The sooner she got home, the better. She could hardly bear the sight of the Eiffel Tower anymore. By now, 364 days later, it was just an eyesore that reminded her of how far away from home she was.

But with every minute that passed on the plane ride, she felt her spirit lift. She was going home.

Felicity took the train in from the city to Echo- it was eight in the morning when she landed and she did not want to take Clement away from his meticulous daily preparations for too long.

She did not exactly look like the picture of grace. Her hair was wrangled into a bun, with her dark brown roots making an appearance (bleaching and dyeing her hair did not fit the criteria of a “necessary task”). Her sweater and leggings were wrinkled from her long journey, but she could not be bothered to change them. She was so, so tired. As soon as her feet hit the ground, all she wanted to do was sit with Clement and drink fifty cups of coffee.

Over the previous year, Felicity had forgotten what Echo smelled like in the spring. From her first steps in the town, she was embraced with a mixture of cut grass, newly blossomed marguerites, and freshly baked bread. Felicity made a beeline for the source of that last scent, her luggage bouncing behind her on the dirt roads.

She threw open the door to Chez Clement and shouted, “Bonjour!!!”

There was a clamoring from back in the kitchen before Clement rushed out to greet Felicity, immediately smothering her in a hug.

“Oh, thank heavens!! My angel is back!!” He planted a kiss on her cheek before holding her at arm’s length. “I’ve missed you so much!”

Felicity laughed away the tears that threatened to spill. “Is that so?”

“These other girls… they have no fire.” Clement shook his head with a frown. “Everyone has missed your passion. They will be thrilled to see you back.”

Felicity took a long breath and smiled at her boss. This one expression of gratitude did not completely fix her beaten down spirit, but it certainly felt good to hear those words.

Still, she had to take a step back and address him honestly.

“Is it alright if I wait a day or two? At least until I’m all settled back in?”

“Oh, of course, of course!” Clement nodded and then gestured for her to sit at one of the nearby tables. “Let me get you coffee.”

As she sat down with a huff, she thanked Clement. He read her mind (and would likely return with some form of pastry as well) and put her in the right mindset to face the rest of her day. She had given a heads up to her friends that today was the day that she was returning (Tina was given a more detailed heads up, as Felicity was going to be living with her for the time being after giving up her room at the inn), but she did not know best how to approach seeing all of them.

So Felicity took another deep breath and looked out the window. Something was stirring in her heart… something that she could not name. Was it nerves? Was it excitement?

…

Well, whatever it was, she hoped that it would fade and that she could return to the life that she had missed so dearly. That was all that she wanted.

#whew

1 note · View note

natfosho26 · 5 years ago

Note

1-170

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I wish I was like 5’8”

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) dinosaur lol

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Not really. Jeans and a t shirt

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Tony hawk pro skater and gta’s

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: sex, food, and materialistic wants

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? “Damaged goods”

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? You didn’t put anything lol

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] sanguine

9: Are you ticklish? Very

10: Are you allergic to anything? Penicillin, avocado, and pineapple

11: What’s your sexuality? Bisexual

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Coffee

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Dog

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Merperson

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? No

16: How tall are you? 5’4”

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I wouldn’t

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] under 200 lbs

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Yes

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Both

21: Are you religious? A tad

22: Pet peeves? Lies, loud mouth chewing

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Nocturnal

24: Favorite constellation? My cancer constellation

25: Favorite star? I don’t have one

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? What. No

27: Any phobias or fears? Moths and frogs lol

28: Do you think global warming is real? Very

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Eh

30: Favorite movie? Sweeney Todd, love & basketball, rent, all the Batman movies lol

31: Do you get scared easily? No

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Two

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] ?

34: What is a color that calms you? Blue

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel - Greece, Ireland, Scotland, Europe and live Colorado, Oregon, Washington

36: Where were you born? El Paso, TX

37: What is your eye color? Light brown

38: Introvert or extrovert? Both

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Eh

40: Hugs or kisses? Kisses

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? My best friend

42: Who is someone you love deeply? My family

43: Any piercings you want? My nipples

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Very much so

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? I’m smoking rn lol

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Negative

47: What is a sound you really hate? Screeching sounds

48: A sound you really love? The ocean

49: Can you do a backflip? No

50: Can you do the splits? No

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Jason Mamoa, Dwayne Johnson, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler

52: Favorite movie? Refer to 30

53: How are you feeling right now? Pretty down

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I like my hair color

55: When did you feel happiest? When I’m conducting an ensemble or playing an instrument

56: Something that calms you down? Music

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] depression and anxiety but everyone has that now

58: What does your URL mean? My name and basketball number from hs

59: What three words describe you the most? Patient, understanding, and creative

60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Racist, sexist, homophobic, trump supporting all that shit

62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I like lol

63: Favorite kind of person: calm, curious, and artistic

64: Favorite animal(s): dinosaurs, whale sharks, jellyfish, octopus, and dogs

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @thisismebeforeicomeundone @plastic-pipes @soyoumusik

66: Favorite emoticon: 🤔

67: Favorite meme: the girl yelling at the cat

68: What is your MBTI personality type? INTP

69: What is your star sign? Cancer

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No she’s a bitch lol

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Sweats and a shirt

72: Post a selfie or two? Maybe later

73: Do you have platform shoes? No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I am double jointed in my elbows

75: Can you do a front flip? No

76: Do you like birds? No

77: Do you like to swim? Yes

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Ice skating

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: trump

80: Some thing you wish did exist: dragons

81: Piercings you have? My ears

82: Something you really enjoy doing: making music

83: Favorite person to talk to: my roommate

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? I can use this in high school lmao

85: How many followers do you have? 457

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Hell no

87: Do your socks always match? Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?yes

89: What are your birthstones? Ruby

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Maybe a sloth or shark

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Hmm...idk I don’t know flowers enough

92: A store you hate? Burlington

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? Like 7 lol

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo? Nope

96: Winter or summer? Summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for? Like 45 secs

98: Least favorite person? N/a

99: Someone you look up to: alondra de la parra

100: A store you love? Barnes and noble

101: Favorite type of shoes? Vans

102: Where do you live? Las cruces, NM

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? I’m not lol

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Obsidian

105: Do you drink milk? Lactose intolerant

106: Do you like bugs? Nope

107: Do you like spiders? Nope

108: Something you get paranoid about? I don’t really

109: Can you draw: eh

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? If my parents were born in the states or not

111: A question you hate being asked? If I have kids

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? No

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Love it

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Both

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: n/a

116: Favorite cloud type: the ones that looks like waves

117: What color do you wish the sky was? Sunset colors

118: Do you have freckles? Yes

119: Favorite thing about a person: their eyes or lips

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits

121: Something you want to do right now: watch Star Wars

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky

123: Sweet or sour foods? Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights? Dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Dragons lol

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: the ads

127: Something you love about Tumblr: the people I follow lol so my dashboard

128: What do you think about the least? Taxes and shit

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Something with Batman

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Trump

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? How indecisive I can be

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Sometimes

133: Computer or TV? Computer

134: Do you like roller coasters? Love them

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Lobed

137: Do you believe in karma? Yes

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Nat or natocato

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving

144: What makes you angry? Trump. Ignorant people. Cheaters

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? Two

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? Boys and girls

147: Are you androgynous? No

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: my lips

149: Favorite thing about your personality: my loyalty

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. Aaron, Krystal, and Andy

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? Revolution era just to hear certain composers

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh not really

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] don’t have one

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes lol

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Yes

156: What embarrasses you? Nothing really lol

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: “I need to talk to tou”

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: that I had no marijuana in the car when I get pulled over lmao

159: How many people are you following? 583

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? Too many lol

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? None

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? Hmm idk

163: Last time you cried and why: earlier, some hurtful words

164: Do you have long or short hair? Long

165: Longest your hair has ever been: below my butt

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? Too many rules and money hungry organizations

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Yes

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Hate it

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Yes

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes

2 notes · View notes

solli · 6 years ago

Text

i’ve heard you can take it

Sebastian makes Tina cry too often, so naturally Blaine is selfless enough to spontaneously make up a deal with Sebastian that offers him absolutely no personal gain: if Sebastian will apologize to her, Blaine will take him on a date. Blaine tries his best to postpone what will surely be the most terrible day of his life, until Sebastian threatens to ask Tina to ask Blaine when he’ll take Sebastian out. Blaine has to yield, and the titan’s fall approaches.

or: incantava has big seblaine energy so i'm paying omage

a seblaine ficlet ~3,5k | italian skam au warnings: sexual tension that might not get resolved

(ao3 link if you’re into it)

It takes Sebastian twelve minutes to get out of his house and climb in Blaine's car. Blaine is pressing on the gas before his door even closes. He wants this travesty of a date to be done as soon as possible, and he makes sure to keep his eyes on the road. He doesn't break his resolve when Sebastian speaks, his drawl a pitch softer than the usual snark.

“I was surprised when you told me you'd choose where we were going. I thought we were pretending you didn't even want to think about tonight.”

Blaine feels the heat spreading up his neck. Leave it to Sebastian to make a sensible tactical decision sound like some kind of closeted romantic move.

“I prefer not to go along with your script.” he answers dryly, taking a left turn. He hears Sebastian chuckling, and suddenly the decision of keeping the radio off to avoid any conversation starter doesn't sound so smart anymore.

He pushes the on button and withdraws his hand as soon as Sebastian's arm moves in his peripheral vision. He's not risking any stupid brushing of fumbling fingers over the console. Not tonight, not with Sebastian.

“I don't have any script.” Sebastian hums as he skips over three different stations in under ten seconds. “You invited me out, remember?”

Blaine shifts the gear again, foot heavy on the accelerator.

“You know why I did it.”

“You still did it. And you've chosen the place. Which, by the way? I had the perfect date mapped out. You better be taking me somewhere nice.”

Sebastian sounds weird. Smug, lighthearted, happy. He sounds likes he's smiling. Blaine grips the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. Blaine hates Sebastian’s smile, loathes it, because it has somehow found a way to imprint itself behind his eyelids, to sneak into his brain. Whenever he thinks about Sebastian, it's his smile he sees, his eyes crinkling up, looking young and harmless, and Blaine is not letting a smile fool him.

Blaine knows Sebastian is expecting him to go along with him. Turn the teasing into banter, give him the conversation he so clearly seeks. Blaine's not doing any of that. He's driving, and then he's gonna watch the movie, and he's not uttering any more words than necessary.

To his credit, Sebastian doesn't push it. Instead he entertains himself playing with the radio. He jumps from jazz to pop to 90s hits in a dizzy, unpredictable rhythm. It's weirdly soothing, the resulting jagged mix of spots and choruses and cut off belted notes. As far as shotgun riders go, Blaine has to admit Sebastian might have some merit.

He doesn't realize some of his discomfort has left his muscles until Sebastian's voice does a cute little flip in a small ah and his fingers leave the console to the sound of Billy Joel's Uptown Girl.

Blaine's jaws clenches and his neck stiffens as Sebastian sings along quietly, not missing a single word. Blaine can barely hear him over the music, but it's enough to make the hair on his nape stand up.

He changes the station before he realizes it. Sebastian soft hey tells him he’s made a mistake. He chuckles despite himself, and Sebastian forgoes any retort and chuckles back instead, like they’re kids fighting over the same toy realizing neither of them wants it if they’ll have to play alone.

He should have known it would have happened, Sebastian catching him off guard and somehow get something out of him he wasn't willing to give.

“Singing along to Billy Joel is not in tonight’s script?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine swallows his smile and push it down.

“No.” he says, his lips barely parting. “I'm not supposed to have fun tonight.” he adds against his better judgment, and his heart take a leap in his chest when Sebastian laughs, carefree and honest, and Blaine hates that he wants to hear it again as soon as it's over.

Sebastian lets him be silent all trough the first twenty minutes of the movie.

He doesn't say anything when Blaine gets them trough the drive-in, he doesn't say anything as he takes it on himself to put in the AM frequency to catch the movie audio, he doesn't say anything as he undoes his safety belt and settles in his seat.

Blaine's seat belt is still in place and one of his hands is still on the steering wheel. He placed his elbow on the windowsill, and the slow back and forth of his own thumb over his cheek is not doing anything for his nerves.

He chose the drive-in because he really wanted to see the movie. It's a rom-com that he missed last summer, starring one of his favorite actresses and featuring a great deal of musical numbers. He was sure Sebastian would hate it and maybe fell asleep half trough it, but Sebastian is laughing at all the cringy jokes Blaine hears but doesn't listen to, white noise to the sounds of Sebastian existing next to him.

Blaine is hyper aware of everything he does. He doesn't miss anything, from the quietest snicker to the rustling of his clothes as Sebastian shifts on the seat, to his hands digging into the popcorn cup he made Blaine buy him.

Blaine doesn't really know how he thought spending two hours in a car with Sebastian was a good idea. He should have know better than to trust himself in being more interested in a stupid movie than he is in Sebastian.

He's attracted to Sebastian. It's useless to deny it.

His skin crawls every time they're standing near each other, and every single one of Sebastian's looks get straight to his knees. He thinks of touching him way more often than he cares to admit, of kissing down his neck from a freckle to a beauty mark, of letting himself be touched like he knows Sebastian wants to do.

He wondered countless times if the intensity was only so overwhelming because of the tension building between them, whether if touching him would turn the volume down, or if it would only adjust the frequency and made the sound less loud but clearer.

It would all be so easy if only Sebastian didn't like him.

Blaine knows Sebastian doesn't only want him. He knows Sebastian doesn't think of fucking him as much as he thinks of having sex with him, that he thinks about them doing things family friendly activities together, that Sebastian wants intimacy from him Blaine cannot give him.

Sebastian liking him is the reason Blaine made that stupid deal in the first place.

Blaine may be attracted to Sebastian, but he doesn't like him.

He doesn't like the way he talks to people like they don't matter, the lack of respect he shows for just about anything, the viciousness of his insults. He doesn't like the way Sebastian parades himself around, arrogant and careless, breaking people like they're toys and forgetting all about it the second they fall into pieces. He hates how it's all fun and games to him, all the time, even when there's nothing to make fun of.

Most of all, he hates he has to remind himself that's what Sebastian is.

Than the boy who leaves a coffee on his desk every Tuesday is the same boy that has been mean enough to made Tina cry every day for weeks.

Blaine doesn't doubt Sebastian is genuine in his feelings for him- he doesn't. Not when he looks at him like he's the only person in the room whenever they cross paths. But there's more to Sebastian than who he is to Blaine, and Blaine isn't willing to bend and stretch his morals to accommodate a boy, it doesn’t matter how much he might want him. Blaine has more integrity than that, even when the boy is licking butter off his finger on the shotgun of his car, and everything Blaine wants is to kiss him.

“Want some popcorn?” Sebastian asks turning to him, his smile slightly crooked, and Blaine feels the flush on the back of his neck.

“I would have bought it.” he says just to regret it.

“Glad to know you were just looking at me, then.”

Blaine shakes his head and puts his hands between his thighs, and he's wound so tight he can't get comfortable.

“I do approve of the night plan, by the way.” Sebastian goes on, and Blaine closes his eyes, trying not to listen. “I've always loved musicals. I like the way it all takes the story forward- the acting, the dances, the music. It's why I started singing in the first place. I like it better when music is a mean to tell a story.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Blaine asks, his eyes still closed but his eyelashes fluttering as his jaw clench.

“Not that I have a lot of first hand experience, but I do believe people go on dates to tell each other things.”

“Well, I don't want to.”

There's a moment of silence, but then Sebastian's voice is back and it's a bit sharper, a little rougher around the edges.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because you made me go.” he's quick to answer, but it sounds weak even to his ears.

“It was your idea, Blaine. I stop being mean to your friend, you stop being mean to me for one night.”

“I'm not mean to you.” Blaine turns to look at him, and there's a small smirk on Sebastian's lips. “I just- you want things from me I can't give you. I don't want to-”

“String me along?” Sebastian asks with some snark behind it. “Well, than I've got bad news for you, because our entire relationship it's you leading me where you want me. You say you don't want me to get you coffee, yet you keep drinking it when I do. You keep saying you don't want anything to do with me, than you smile with that adorable bashful thing you've got going on whenever we're in the same room. I only get what you give me.”

“I don't-” he chokes on the next words, and he has nothing to say back. “You're not a good person, Sebastian.”

He avoids his eyes, but when Sebastian speaks it's a little round being the rawness.

“Oh, yeah, now I can see how you're not mean to me.”

“I'm- Sebastian, Tina is terrified of you. She cried everyday for weeks because of you. You might be good to me, and you are, but I don't want someone who's only ever kind to people he likes.”

“Tina cries all the time about everything.” Sebastian says in a long sigh. “Sometimes I did get a little bit creative and over the top, I'm not gonna deny it, but most of the times I didn't do half as much as looking at her. One time she got to class late, saw the only desk that wasn't occupied was the one next to mine, and she started wailing until someone traded place with her. And I don't think we even talked to each other before that happened.”

“So she just randomly decided you were the antichrist.” Blaine draws the conclusion for him.

“Honestly? She kind of did. Maybe someone told her something, maybe she saw me going off to someone, I don’t know.”

“See? That's the problem. That everyone has a story to tell about you.”

“And I have a story to tell about everyone.”

Sebastian's voice is calm, soothing enough in his hard edges that Blaine can listen to it without filtering it.

“It's true I have a bad mouth and an even worse temper, but I don't bite unprovoked. People just like to play in a higher league than they can handle, and when they realize it, suddenly they never told me I'm a slut, never told me I slept with a teacher to get a good grade, never told me I- how did Santana put it- look like Fievel had sex with a scarecrow and a horse got to play in the mix. Then I fight back, and the ones that aren't tough enough to handle it blame it all on me.”

“I know for a fact Tina never told you anything like that.”

“No, she didn't. It’s true sometimes I do let it out on people who somehow manage to get on my nerves every time they speak, even if they don’t come for me first. But I do operate on assumption that a single insult from someone that obviously doesn't really know anything about you, can't really ruin your life.”

“Not everybody is as tough as you are, Sebastian.”

“Perhaps. Someone told me once that it's not up to me to decide how much people can handle.”

Blaine closes his eyes, back in the bathroom where he cornered Sebastian before Christmas break, a winter before.

“I heard you, Blaine. I'm still convinced offense is taken, not given, but I am trying not to be a complete asshole only because I can. Unless it's Shaqueera, I can't let her have an inch.”

Blaine snorts against his better judgment.

“I’ll give you that. You're cut from the same mold, after all. It's like a rooster fight, really.”

“Hey, now, I'm way classier than she'll ever be.”

“Classier?” Blaine asks, his eyes narrowing, and before he knows he's leaning in over the seats. “You?”

“I’m a gentleman. I'll have you know all my father's friends are very impressed by my excellent manners.”

“I'm sure they are.”

“Stop being mean to me.” Sebastian issues him in the softest, brightest voice Blaine has ever heard from him, and he can't help but laugh, his eyes not leaving Sebastian's.

“I've heard you can take it.” Blaine smiles back, and Sebastian's whole face lits up before he shakes his head to the side.

Blaine's eyes follow the the curve of his neck and the line of his jaw. His fingers twitch against his thighs, his nails skimming the texture of the fabric. Blaine doesn’t want to want to kiss him.

“You're right.” he says instead.

Maybe if the pieces who make Sebastian up can stick together, then perhaps he has to stop thinking he can keep them all apart.

“I do want you to get me coffee.”

Sebastian looks at him. Blaine doesn't back off when Sebastian's eyes quickly go to his lips.

“Good. I like to make you happy.”

He backs off at that, his muscles wound up once again. He knows Sebastian sees it happen, but Sebastian doesn't take any step back. He doesn't look away. He doesn't let Blaine stay in the little comfort zone he cut out from himself and Sebastian without realizing it.

“I know you have a hard time making sense of me, Blaine, but I have a hard time making sense of you too. You're all kind and polite, and then you're being bossy and loud. You love people looking at you, but you hate people getting close. I know that it must all make sense in your head, and I want it to make sense for me too. We’re both trying to put together a puzzle without a reference.”

“And what happens after we do?” Blaine asks, quiet and bold. “What do you with a puzzle after you solve it?”

Sebastian isn't smiling when he answers, but his eyes are clear.

“You get to look at something beautiful everyday and see that all the work you put into it payed off in the end.”

Blaine wants to kiss him. It's not a need, or an urge, it's the chill crawling on his skin, his tongue dragging on the roof of his mouth, the rough texture of his jeans under his fingertips, the smell of popcorn clinging between them.

He wants to lean in, he wants to look at Sebastian before closing his eyes and kiss his cheek, his nose, his mouth, until his lips are numb and swollen.

He reaches for the popcorn instead, the cup almost finished, the extra butter making his fingers slippery.

“I love musicals too.” he says, licking the salt off his fingertips.

He's careful not to grease his seat belt as he unfasten it.

Sebastian's eyes are soft and his smile is small when he accepts the offering.

“I can see it. You really seem captured by the magic of this movie.”

Blaine chuckles and waves it off and gets his arm back on the windowsill, his hand against his temple.

“I've heard people go on dates to talk.” he teases.

“Well, I've heard people go on dates at the movies to make out. Don't believe everything you hear, killer.”

Blaine's blushing again, a small smirk on his lips as he watches the actors dance on the screen, a jazzy song filling the car.

He wants to kiss Sebastian.

“Where would you have taken me tonight?” he asks, looking at him trough his lashes.

“Roller skating.” Sebastian smiles.

“Roller skating.”

“Yep. At the roller rink downtown. Have you ever been?”

“No.” he whispers, quietly enough he's sure Sebastian wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been looking at his lips.

“Me neither. I learned about it after we made our deal. I wanted to go with you. It sounded fun.”

“Too bad I went for 'boring' as the theme for tonight.” Blaine meant to sound dry, but his words are warm, his heart fluttering treacherously against his rib cage.

“Then you failed spectacularly. I'm not bored. I like the drive-in.” he says right away, and Blaine refuses to look away, even if he knows what's coming. “In fact, I think I mentioned it a couple of times in the four months it took you to fulfill your end of the deal.”

“Really? I don't remember.” he says, and Sebastian smirk is weirdly rewarding. “Just as I don't remember ever setting a deadline to the contract.”

“Smart move. I respect that.”

“Thank you.”

Blaine wants to kiss him.

He puts his hand on the armrest between their seats, palm up.

He can only hear the sound of his heart beating in his ears, fast and strong and alive, when Sebastian takes his hand and laces their fingers together.

He looks at the movie screen, let Sebastian's thumb strokes the back of his own, their pulses mixing between their wrists.

“You're right.” Blaine says, his thumb thumping against his cheek where he's still resting his head on his hand.

“I know. And I love it when you tell me.” Sebastian is so smug Blaine would hit him, if only their hands weren't holding each other. “About what?” Sebastian adds, his vowels soft.

Blaine nibbles at his bottom lip before answering.

“The roller rink does sound fun. ”

He tilts his head enough to the right to see Sebastian's smile, his eyes crinkling up at the corners.

“We're setting a deadline this time.” he says, as the actors on screen say their I love yous in the rain.

Blaine wants to kiss him.

He leans over their hands, close enough the smell of popcorn merges with expensive cologne.

His lips are already parted when he speaks, looking at Sebastian trough his lashes.

“How about we don't, but you get a kiss instead?” he whispers, staying still.

He waits for Sebastian.

His closes his eyes when Sebastian curls a hand around his neck, threads his fingers trough the hair at Blaine's nape, brushes his thumb along Blaine's jaw.

He shudders when Sebastian moves his hand, his fingers gently inviting Blaine to tilt his head up. He complies without resistance, and he swallows as Sebastian trace his cheekbone with the tip his nose, his breathing shallow against the corner of Blaine's mouth.

He smiles when Sebastian's fingers kiss his lips, a butterfly touch tasting faintly of butter and salt.

“I'll take the deadline.” Sebastian whispers like it’s painful, his lips moving against Blaine's jaw, and Blaine turns his face against Sebastian, breaths him in.

“Smart move.” he says, his voice husky and bit breathless. “I respect that.”

Sebastian smiles against his neck and Blaine is a bit dizzy.

It would all be so easy if Sebastian didn't like him- but he does, and Blaine will have to put some work into it.

It doesn’t seem ridicolous to think it will be worth it.

#seblaine #seblaine fic #i swear i haven't felt so happy writing something until i dived into seblaine again #also i made this sideblog specifically to dump all the ficlets i started writing down in the past week #but somehow the first thing i post is a skam au i just wrote #me @ myself: why are you like this #in my defense incantava has the biggest seblaine energy

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frostskader · 6 years ago

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BDRP Resolutions 2019

So I still have mine from the last year so I thought I’d do a comparison as well.

Write your RPer Resolutions for 2019! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.)

2018:

I really want to try getting more involved with events and the discord part of it. I always tend to shy away from it because of how fast it moves and how overwhelming it feels to get something started but I wanna try. I also want to try being more descriptive in my writing a lot of the time I just can’t wait to reply so I reply quickly I want to savor the replies make them worth reading.

2019:

Well I can at least say my goal last year was accomplished. I think I did pretty well trying to get involved in the discord threads which was a lot of fun.

I still think I want to improve on my descriptions I've been able to beat the gotta rush to reply but still taking that moment to add in the little details.

My new resolution for the year is focusing on my characters plots. Little things happened throughout the year to mine but I want to tackle some big plots for them and stick to them.

Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)

Peri:

2018

I think I wanna play out more of her depression and how that effects her and maybe get her into therapy. Def want someone one day to realize it and maybe just suggest it to her.

2019

Well I got to play it out a bit and get her into therapy so that was great. She still has a lot to go especially considering having both pixies and sunburst. So a goal for her this year is getting her to realize she doesn't need to rely on things and people as crutches. Moana:

2018

I want her to stop being so wishy washy. I think it’s the main reason she’s yet to really dig into something. She just doesn’t know what she wants.

Ha. Moana still is super wishy washy. This year she got to go back home so that was really good for her. I'm going to try getting her involved with the board whether she chooses to run or not this year or I've got to really figure out where she wants to go.

Anyone wanna go travelling with this girl? Expand horizons and shit. Panic:

2018

I want people to know whether it’s him or Percy. Give them both some Plots. Get to a point both of them have friends and don’t care.

2019

So I kind of accomplished this. Panic and Percy both have different people they interact with but I'd love to have more of either or especially as they go further into looking demon magic and what not.

So I guess that continues to be the goal for them. Make some friends. Get into some trouble. Maybe even figure out if he wants to stay a line cook.

Ollie:

2018

I want him to expand from the gang. They are his back bone and he needs to learn to fight and how strong he really is./ find out who his fam is cause he’s almost 18.

2019

Well he got into a fight...didn't really win but he's learning how to legit fight now and met his family. Got a couple friends… kinda… his gf doesn't really count.

So this year my focus will be on letting him forgive and move on. Holding onto the anger isn't really helping him and while he doesn't have to forgive he can move on. Gotta let him enjoy being a kid too. Make some more stupid decisions.

Marzel

I want him to make friends, I want him to have both mundus and magick friends. I want him to protect people and love people

Sarina

I want her to get into some trouble. Make a name for herself and make a legacy.

Melody

She’s doing well for friends, I want her to get very comforable around someone. Get a best friend, someone she can run to.

Lena

I want her to figure out her school shit. A lot like Ollie last year she doesn’t know what she wants. I also have a bigger goal but thats a secret.

O’Malley

I def want to approach the parent side of him, have him deal with the fact he’s a dad and there’s responsibility on that.

Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?

Peri:

2018

I’m going to make at least two new friends. People I’m not scared of bothering. Someone I can go to when I feel sad and I’m having trouble. Maybe not say why but I want to have friends.

2019

I did make two friends! One left but I ended up getting a roommate plus an awesome kitten named Nova. And there's a really cool wolf in Enchantra that might be my friend. This year my main goal is to keep Pixies running and up to the standards my sister had if not improving if I can.

Moana

2018

I want to try and go back to Hana and visit my family. Show them I’m fine and I can handle myself and stand up for the fact I’m going to stay with my Nana.

2019

So I visited, kind of on my own accord kind of because Maui and Nana wanted to go back and what better way than just to jump in.

I'm going to take another year though and take another minor. Might be a lot but I want to get a well-rounded view.

Panic

2018

I want to get stronger with my shapeshifting. If I need to fight I don’t need to leave Percy with a weak human body he’ll fucking kill us both.

2019

Well, my shapeshifting is a lot better compared to when that bitch shot at us. Not perfect but I can hold a shift longer then just half an hour. I'm going to get more powerful that I can keep a form as long as needed.

I'm also going to get over Tina. I can't keep going back to someone that doesn't want what I am.

Ollie 2018

I want to buy something anything that’s solely mine that no one can take away and just from my arcade gig. I just want to somewhat take care of myself.

2019

Well, I have my own stuff now bought with either the money from my job or the trust fund. Though maybe that last one shouldn't count.

I think I want to try living on my own for a little if not fully.

Marzel

I want to go home by the end of the year. Preferably before summer.

Sarina

I'm going to cash in one of merlin objects by the end of the year.

Melody

I want to help create and run a fundraiser through InterPride this year.

Lena

Resolutions aren't my thing but sure I'll figure out what I'm doing for school or something.

List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so

Bambi! And I’ll have interacted with all of MK’s Characters. (I wrote this prior to Kala so Kala too)

Any of Andy’s I don’t think I’ve had a thread with her?? Have we??

Bianca! Hit me up with RAS stuff and Sarina being a case file

Gregory - off text

Simon! How haven’t I met all of Sam’s charries

Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #2 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it.

SARINA

1. Find someone to get more information on Merlin’s Objects ???

2. Need people for research MIKE, VARIAN,

3. Pull off a job(failure or success) DES, Any others

4. End up with Merlin’s object with consequences or not SELF PARA

#bdrptask

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xtheingenue-blog · 6 years ago

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a million years

who // rachel berry, mentions of shelby corcoran, and honestly most of way out! what // rachel tries to sleep off her hangover before her set, but her brain won’t stop moving when // wednesday, september 26th

Rachel had spent most of her life trying to just figure out who she was. Was she a performer, an actress, a singer, a writer? Did she want the spotlight, or did she prefer the quiet? Was she straight, gay, something inbewteen? Did she love Effy, or Nathan or the guy who did a shot of tequila out of her belly button who wound up in her bed that night? Now she was on tour, surrounded by artists who inspired her, who could both bring her best and worst side out, depending on the day, the moment, her own attitude. It only made things more confusing, more isolating. Spending the entire night out with Kitty was a stupid idea, in retrospect, she knew that. But she’d spent a week on the sidelines, a week playing second fiddle. And she was Rachel. Rachel Barbra Berry - she was number one. She was the one everyone was supposed to be talked about. And she’d ensure she was, no matter what it took.

Even if it took a mindsplitting headache and no sleep before she headed out on stage in Seattle.

They had hotel rooms, but Rachel slunk away to the tour bus instead, hoping to catch a small nap in her small bed. Instead, she lay there, staring at the bunk above her, holding onto an old stuffed bear she brought with her for good luck, her mind whirring at a thousand miles an hour. This tour was supposed to be her big break. She was supposed to behave, to keep her diva-tendencies in check, to make friends and put her name out there. And she’d been trying, so hard. Harder than anyone probably realized. Because they didn’t know that her first instinct was to be annoyed that Tina Cohen-Chang had started the tour with a scandal that overshadowed everyone else before they even left California. Or that she was tired of Ryder’s spiral just because he didn’t know how to separate sex and love. Or that she was annoyed at the lack of time Sam spent with her, choosing to go spend time with a girl who was blatantly trying to screw over her own band with Rachel’s fake boyfriend. Or that she was jealous and pissed that Tina had slept with Jesse while she was supposedly with Ryder. She was keeping those things quiet. It was better that way, she knew. Because if she told everyone what she truly felt, she’d be left on her own, making far more enemies than friends, and it would be an incredibly isolating three months. Her reputation as a bitch would ruin her ability to tour with others in the future, her name slandered as another spoiled child star who never bothered to find a true talent outside of the spotlight. There weren’t many people Rachel could honestly talk about these things with. She felt like maybe, one day, Kitty could be that confidante. Already, there were little slips she’d let out that gave her true feelings some space to breathe. Because Kitty was suffering in her own way, a torn heart between who she was and who she pretended to be. It was something Rachel could understand, could empathize with. And never once did Kitty try and usurp her talent - no, she supported her, and Rachel felt the same. Together, she felt stronger with Kitty. Powerful. Like maybe she could handle the bullshit so long as she had Kitty there to forget it all with at the end of the day. But that relationship was still too new, and she wouldn’t put that kind of strain on it. So instead, she called her mother; her fathers would never understand, of course, though they’d try endlessly. But Shelby would. Shelby had tried her hand on the Broadway stage for years, being shunted aside for others less deserving before she started her own family. And if Shelby couldn’t put things into perspective - “Sorry, babe,” Shelby’s voice sounded winded, and Rachel frowned, figuring the now 8 year old Shelby called her own was demanding her attention, “I can’t really talk right now. But I’ve seen videos and you’re doing amazing. Keep it up, okay?” Rachel threw her phone across the bus, shoving her face in a pillow to quiet her scream. All she wanted was one person. One person to understand, to listen to her, to feel what she felt inside. One person who could even begin to comprehend how it felt to want the entire world, to want everything and still feel as if they were getting nothing in return. She’d just have to put it into her music again. To perform in front of a new crowd, and hope there was one person out there, one individual that might connect. And maybe they’d find Rachel, or Rachel would find them, and she could finally, finally feel like herself again.

#wayoutseattle #para #sp #a million years

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klaineship2 · 7 years ago

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TDB Rewatch Asian F Episode 3x03

“You killed your audition, Blaine. If anyone else got Tony, including me, the wrath of Sondheim would fall upon McKinley like a plague of locusts.”

One part of this episode is about people supporting and encouraging each other. There’s Shane encouraging Mercedes to not feel like Effi but to find her true inner Beyoncé. Mike even is supported by Tina AND his mother when both of them encourage him to follow his dreams and to tell is dad. Finn supporting Rachel (though he seems a bit mad, when she’s doesn’t quit running for student president after getting ‘Maria’). Santana supporting Brittany. And of course Kurt supporting Blaine and celebrating him getting ‘Tony’, despite his own dissappointment.

But part of the episode is also about unsupportive people, like Mike’s father, Emma’s parents or Will who is treating Mercedes much differently than Rachel or clumsy Finn (despite Mercedes being at least as talented a singer as Rachel - and Rachel isn’t a great dancer either!!) Will is also not very supportive of Emma, when she tells him, that she has good reasons to not invite her parents. The fact that he seems willing to learn how to be more understanding and supportive of her in the end is only making small amends.

Mike’s storyline: I think this is the only story line Mike will ever get and it’s true: Asian parents really put a lot of pressure onto their children and I love Mike’s mom here, who (despite her Asian upbringing) is fully supportive of Mike. Her line: “Michael, my job is to encourage you to live your dream. Not mine, not your father’s”, reminds me so much of Burt Hummel!!! But I don’t get how Mike’s father (in the dream sequence) is scared of Mike getting injured by dancing but still lets him play football, where it should be much more likely to get badly injured (and which must be much more time consuming than Glee Club!)

Mercedes: As much as I hated Mercedes’ Diva attitude in season 2(night of neglect?), this is so much different! Will’s constant nagging and ignoring of her talent and the West-Side-Story-Jury not wanting to let Rachel down is just the last straw. And now she has her own support-system in Shane who truely admires her. So she doesn’t give in like she did everytime before, when Rachel had been preferred by Will since sophomore year. I love the Dreamgirls sequence with Kurt wearing a combination of the men’s suits and the girl’s sparkly dresses. As much as I hate that he isn’t on Mercedes’ side during the song, it always cracks me up when Mercedes accuses him and Finn: “I always knew, you two were together.” and he’s just “What?!” I love his whole line in full snarky Kurt-Bitch-mode with a voice high above the clouds... Look at his hair !!!!!

Kurt being walked over by Brittany and Rachel: Oh poor Kurt.... he is so excited and happy at the beginning because his chances for student presidency seem to be so good. He underestimates Brittany and as much as I like Girl Power and as much as I like ‘Girls Run The World’, but I deeply hurt for Kurt. Rejected for the role of Tony for being not manly enough (and being not particularly respected by the boys anyway) and now losing so many female voters to Britt, as well, it breaks my heart to see him so shocked and defeated. From all the boys/men she wanted to make an example of, she had to choose Kurt to trample over??? From all the Glee guys he’s always been the most supportive of the girls!!

And than Rachel also walking all over him, after pledging her loyality to him merely days before.... She is such a selfish person, and after getting ‘Maria’, she absolutely has no reason to further run for student president. This is not her first betrayal of Kurt’s friendship and it won’t be the last. She didn’t even tell him herself about her plans but waited until he found out himself. Rachel - I hate you!

And then there is Kurt celebrating Blaine in a completely non-selfish act of love and support. After the cliff hanger from last week’s episode we don’t know what happened between the two of them. Though Blaine hasn’t been seen in school up to this scene at the staircase, they must have seen each other daily. Despite the hurt and disappointment it must have caused him, Kurt is able to acknowledge what he’d already known since Blaine’s audition. Blaine must play Tony and his support for Blaine is true and without any false meaning, though you can clearly see the hurt mixing with his joy for Blaine, when Blaine hugs him at the casting list. It is such a bittersweet moment, same as the fact that Blaine can’t act on his desire to kiss Kurt because of the homophobic invironment of their school and so he just claps his shoulder awkwardly.

Other Kurt / Klaine things:

A lot of wonderful Kurt fashion: The shiny silver shoes in booty camp; his staircase outfit; Newsies cap; white bowtie with safety pins

“That leaves me and Brittany running in this race - which is more like me running and Brittany just whimsically hopping and skipping nearby.”

Blaine is not in Glee Club nor booty camp.

Red and yellow roses!

Kurt and Blaine’s sweet background moment during ‘Out Here on My Own’ (which Mercedes did much better than Rachel, by the way!)

Other Things:

Rachel must be a great dancer - she never joins booty camp. [Sarcasm]

Coach Beiste calls her football players ‘Ladies’ and no one objects!!

Finn mentioning, that he works at the tyre shop every afternoon.

Shane mentioning Effy White (the role Amber Riley will get an Olivier Award for in 2017)

I loved all of Mike’s dance scenes - he’s just amazing.

Why does Beiste always eat like a pig and talk with a full mouth?

I loved Mercedes’ black dress when she auditioned with ‘Spotlight’

Will really seems to think that Mercedes’ new confidence, Beiste and Emma are talking about, has to do with him pressuring her in booty camp...

wow, that is a tiny casting list for west Side Story... who even played Bernardo? The leader of the Sharks?

“You always zig when I think you’re about to zag and I just ... Iove that about you.”

#TDB rewatch #TDB rewatch Asian F #meta monday #todaydreambelievers #3x03

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gleekto · 7 years ago

Text

Fic: Close Quarters

Summary: Blaine is visiting his friend,Tina, at Brown for the weekend, a reprieve from his new New York City home and the competitiveness of NYADA. He expected a fun reunion. He didn’t expect he’d be playing her boyfriend. Or that her roommate, Kurt, would uncover their ruse in the middle of the night. After tripping over him. Literally. Kurt of the long legs and designer jeans and sparkling eyes. Kurt of the sophomore year. Kurt who has a boyfriend. Kurt who is auditioning for NYADA?

But Blaine is a freshman. And hasn’t had a boyfriend. And you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Based on this prompt.

Words: 4771

Note: I may or may not have left it open for a sequel...But I may need to be convinced...

Close Quarters

“How did you guys meet?” Tina’s new college friends asked the night Blaine arrived. That question was easy. High school.

“How are you guys managing the long distance?” Oh well, you know, we skype pretty often.

“Do you like New York?” Love it. Lima just wasn’t big enough for me. Not enough people. I love the diversity. I love the theatre. I even love the noise.

“So I guess Tina’s planning to move to New York then? I mean, long term?” Blaine purses his lips and turns to Tina.

“Oh for sure,” Tina smiles and grits her teeth. “We’ve got to figure it out, though. Right, Blaine?”

This is ridiculous.

On AO3

“I promise, I’ll tell them in the morning,” Tina sighs as she flops down on to her tiny dorm room bed.

“You promise?” Blaine sits cross legged on his sleeping bag on the Ikea rug covering the grey linoleum floor. Why did she choose burnt orange anyways? “Because it’s getting a little awk-”

“Yes, it’s awkward. I know. I don’t know why I told them you were my boyfriend. It would just be cool, you know-”

“Tina,” Blaine looks up at the ceiling and repeats himself he hopes for the last time. “I can’t be that guy.” Blaine loves Tina. He always has. She’s smart and fun and they always kicked ass whenever they did French projects together last year. And they throw the best movie marathons for their friends - movie appropriate costume required. But she knows he’s gay. He told her that in a tearful conversation more than a year ago. He’s known since he was 14 and could only get through a required game of spin-the-bottle by imagining Rachel Berry was actually her boyfriend, Jesse St. James. Close your eyes and dream. Just because he hasn’t had a boyfriend yet, doesn’t mean he’s any less sure. It’s just that Lima, Ohio isn’t exactly New York City. The place where he actually lives now. And he’s ready to meet someone. Really.

“You’re sure, right? Because I feel like I can usually tell - Like with my roommate, Kurt. I could tell right away- He wears McQueen. And neck kerchiefs and - ”

“Tina,” Blaine rolls his eyes. “You know that those are stereotypes. Anyways, the fact that the school let him room with a girl is a flashing neon sign.”

“I guess.”

“Besides, I think I do a good job of pinging lots of people’s gaydar.” Blaine smiles conspiratorily and tugs on his pink and green bowtie. Blaine is proud of who he is and he’s a New York City boy now. Ready to meet someone if he hasn’t mentioned. “Though McQueen, that’s impressive,” Blaine imagines a perfectly dressed model-type sprawled on the bed across from Tina’s. The guy’s thick dark blue duvet with three throw pillows slightly rumpled. He clearly didn’t let the dorm room factor stop him. Whatever. He’s probably at his boyfriend’s place. “You’re lucky he’s not here this weekend,” Blaine muses out loud.

“Why?”

“He would know.” Obviously.

“No way.”

“I’d put on my best clubbing outfit - my black sleeveless tank top with my red jeans? Do you think he’d notice?”

Tina crosses her arms but she’s smiling underneath her scowl. “How could he not?”

Blaine nods. It’s easy to be confident in your imagination.

...

“Ow! What the-” Blaine startles out of his sleep and squints up at a tall well-dressed figure with reddish brown hair staring down at him. He sees shiny black combat boots that complete the outfit - boots which presumably just kicked him in the side. Accidentally, he supposes.

“Oh my god, Tina! Is this your boyfriend?” A clearly irritated tall, pale, and handsome man has his arms crossed and looms above Blaine. “Why is he lying on the path to my bed instead of in yours? Is this like a fight or something?” Kurt. Who is also apparently home now, and not away for the weekend. Blaine looks at his phone - It’s 2am. He rubs his side where Kurt kicked him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Tina sits up and just shakes her head over and over.

“There was no sock on the door, it’s 2am, and it was quiet. So I assumed you were sleeping and it was safe for me to grab a fresh t-shirt. Though this wasn’t exactly the danger I was imagining,” Kurt shakes his head, exasperated. “So I guess I’m sorry?”

“No, no, it’s okay. You couldn’t have known that-” Blaine pauses. This wasn’t exactly how Blaine imagined meeting Kurt, black tank top and red pants replaced by blue satin button down pajamas and a mop of sleepy head hair, but he doesn’t appear to have a choice. And he isn’t going to let Kurt take the blame for Tina’s ridiculous ruse.

“That what?” Kurt rolls his eyes at the ceiling, “You and Tina are either in a fight or are bizarrely prudish for long distance lovebirds in college. I didn’t take Tina for the ‘True Love Waits’ type.”

“Ughhhh,” Tina grumbles.

“It’s okay, Tina,” Blaine stands and sits down on her bed, placing an arm around her. “You said you were going to tell them anyways.”

“Tell us?...” Kurt looks at Blaine looking apologetically at Tina. And he looks at Blaine’s navy blue satin button pajamas. And the laugh Blaine’s trying hard to bite back. “You’re not her boyfriend, are you?”

“No,” They say in unison.

“Told you he would know,” Blaine elbows Tina.

“Know what?”

“That I’m gay.”

“Designer pajamas a dead giveaway,” Kurt smiles at him. “That and the fact that you were sleeping on the floor.” Blaine smiles back. Tina doesn’t smile.

“Yes okay. I made it up so no one would get any ideas about setting me up with every Asian guy they’ve ever met,” Tina huffs.

“Oh hunny, I know,” Kurt nods. “Last year, it was every wannabe actor and hairdresser in town. That’s why I need to move to New York.”

Blaine’s eyebrows rise, “You’re moving to New York?”

“Only if NYADA wants me as a mid-year sophomore,” Kurt sighs. Blaine is working hard to quiet his racing mind. And his wandering eyes. Did Tina know?

“I go to NYADA.”

“Blaine goes to NYADA,” He and Tina say at the same time.

“You do?”

“And why didn’t you tell me that you’re leaving? What about Tom?” Tina clearly did not know. And a boyfriend? Figures.

“I’m not leaving yet. First they have to even let me audition and I can’t jinx it. Yes, well. Tom is Tom. My boyfriend - “ He looks at Blaine. “We’ll see.” Kurt purses his lips.

“Ouch.”

“Yes, well, it appears after three months of dating that not all gay wannabe actors have that much in common. He chooses clubbing over cooking and a movie every time.” Blaine is pretty sure Kurt’s only looking at him now.

“So you came back here tonight because you broke up?” Tina asks.

“No. I’m going back to his place,” Kurt says flatly.” Just needed a fresh t-shirt. Love when he spills beer on me at Cruisers.” Kurt non-chalantly sheds his apparently beer stained tight black t-shirt and Blaine lets himself look at Kurt’s body, at least momentarily, before Kurt turns around to pull on an equally tight white one. Blaine does his best to keep his face neutral. Kurt is hot. He’d really like to meet someone. Preferably someone single. But at least his not-so-secret is out of Tina’s closet.

...

Blaine non-chalantly pulls the spare mattress into his teeny tiny dorm room. He folds his laundry and puts it away - he’s not a slob. Nothing to do with his guest arriving in a few hours. He moves the little rainbow flag from the corner of his desk into its rightful place of prominence at the centre. Well maybe a bit to do with it. He just wants to be clear that he’s out of the closet. Obviously. So Kurt can feel comfortable.

When Kurt and Tina called him to ask if Kurt could stay with him for Kurt’s NYADA audition, he kept his cool. He didn’t jump up or fist pump the air or sound too eager to see Kurt again. He obviously didn’t think about what Kurt looked like with his shirt off. Heading back to his boyfriend’s. He just warned Kurt that the room was small but that he would get the spare mattress. And of course he could stay - New York City is expensive.

His phone buzzes. “Kurt?” He has no idea how this is going to go.

...

“If it were up to me, I’d let you in with either of those,” Blaine says as they close the door to his room, teeth brushed, button down pajamas buttoned. “But rumour is that Tibideaux goes for naked emotion.” Kurt had performed both Not the Boy Next Door and Being Alive for him in the practice room. He’s a unique talent - countertenor voice, skilled acrobatics. And he’s pretty easy on the eyes too - though he doesn’t think Carmen Tibideaux is particularly looking for that. He doesn’t tell him that he felt like a school kid with a crush watching him dance through Not the Boy Next Door. Secretly swooning without worrying about making his object feel uncomfortable. He’s pretty sure Jesse St. James would not have appreciated knowing he was picturing him during the fated Spin the Bottle game. But during Being Alive, Kurt is transcendent. Raw and open. And he tells him so. Kurt blushes and curtsies which unfortunately leads to more secret swooning. Anyways, Kurt has an audition tomorrow and can’t get distracted. So Blaine can’t either.

“It’s the harder song but I’ve only got one chance, so I guess I’m going for it.”

“What did Tina think?”

“I didn’t perform for her,” Kurt shrugs.

“Oh. Or what about your boyfriend? What’s his name again?” Tom. Of course he remembers.

“Tom? We broke up like a month ago. I think a week after you visited.”

“Oh I”m sorry-”

“Oh no. Don’t be. It was about time. Things can only go on so long when your love for Madonna is your strongest connection. But when he tried to get me to go out again instead of finishing my NYADA application, that was the straw.”

Blaine nods. He knows what it’s like to be singly focused on a dream. He skipped many a school dance in favour of acing his next test. Though dances weren’t all that much of a sacrifice with all the making out on the dance floor that he wasn’t doing. “Still I imagine break ups aren’t fun.”

Kurt laughs. “Not really. Especially when he dramatically took my toothbrush and threw it out the window. But like a week later, it was a relief. Mostly I miss the-” Kurt blushes, “You know.”

“Sex?” Blaine blushes too. Mostly because he doesn’t know. Though he can also imagine that.

“Yeah. He was hot.” Kurt laughs again and Blaine feels a tinge of jealousy. He’s not sure of whom. “In high school, I was the Carmel football team’s favorite punchline. And punching bag. It was definitely an awakening for me at Brown when I was a different kind of objectified.” Kurt looks at him.

“I know what you mean,” Blaine says. “Well, sort of. Mostly the football team ignored me. But I was not the object of anyone’s affection,” Blaine says. “Except Tina’s,” He clarifies. “Nothing ever happened though.”

“I figured.”

“Do I look that innocent?”

Kurt throws a pillow at him and lies down on his mattress. “No. You’re just still good friends. And usually that kind of stuff can make things awkward.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“So innocent.” Kurt sing songs and Blaine throws the pillow back and shuts off the light.

“If you didn’t have a NYADA audition tomorrow, I’d take you clubbing. Put that idea to rest.”

“Too bad I have a NYADA audition.”

“You’re gonna kill it.”

“We’re both gay kids from Whereverville, Ohio, Blaine. I remember what it felt like to be green. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

Blaine is quiet. Kurt is smart and talented and hot and single and in his room for the weekend. This baby brother thing has got to go. “I’m a New York boy now, Kurt.”

Kurt doesn’t respond. He’s already asleep.

...

The next night Blaine finds himself in front of the bouncer at Pride and Prejudice, newly minted fake id in hand. He feels slightly less ridiculous because Kurt still needs one too. Though his is substantially more worn. “Not bad. You could be 23,” Kurt peers over his shoulder as they walk in.

“Years of high school in Lima can age a person.” Blaine says knocking Kurt in the side and he laughs. Kurt is in a great mood - NYADA audition over, vague praise from Madam Tibideaux which Blaine assures him is practically a Wonka golden ticket, and he had insisted that New York City celebrating was in order. And Pride and Prejudice was apparently the place to be on a Saturday night if you’re young and gay and in New York. He just hadn’t wanted to go by himself in his first month.

“Oh my god there are multiple dance floors,” Kurt is wide eyed and happy. “I can spend all night with the 80′s without any go go dancers trying to climb on top of me.” That didn’t actually sound so bad to Blaine but it was Kurt’s night and if he wanted Madonna, it would be the 80′s floor.

Within half an hour, they have a drink in hand and are chatting and bouncing to Cyndi Lauper. But somehow an hour and two drinks later, Kurt is pressed up against a tall, blonde, and buff, probably football player, who keeps whispering in his ear. Kurt turns around and shrugs apologetically at Blaine, but the football player isn’t leaving and neither is Kurt.

Blaine is finally in a gay bar with people his age and if Kurt is busy, well, he knows he can move. And flirt. Even if he was used to attracting the wrong sex in high school. Tina says he has unintentional game so tonight it will be intentional and he’s going to play.

Blaine puts down his drink and sheds his bowtie and short sleeved button down for the white ribbed tank top underneath as Michael Jackson’s Bad blares through the speakers. He walks past the people milling on the outside of the dance floor, past Kurt and football guy, into the middle of the crowd. The thing about being a musically talented, sexually frustrated, teenager is that your energy has to get channeled somewhere. And Blaine loves to dance. And a dance floor with other gay boys as a young adult is even better than being the centre of attention at a high school prom.

“Hey.”

A cute muscled tall dark and handsome that looks a bit like the bisexual Warlock from that sci-fi show is dancing in front of him. With him, he supposes. Until he turns around to a blonde babe with a five o’clock shadow. He lets him put his arms around him, helps him move to the beat. The warlock has better rhythm. He switches again. Now it’s Wham! Everything She Wants. Is everything she sees.

“Thought I’d lost you.” Blaine turns and Kurt is in front of him, football guy nowhere to be seen.

“You looked busy,” Blaine smirks.

“So did you,” Kurt nods and Blaine shrugs non-chalantly, secretly thrilled that he seems to have shed the baby brother persona.

“Wham!,” Blaine says in response and steps into Kurt’s space. Kurt puts his palms on Blaine’s chest, fingertips grazing his sweaty skin and lets Blaine lead. Legs intertwined, beat thumping, Blaine’s hands travel down Kurt’s back. He lets them rest at the top of his ass. Almost that bold. Not quite. Kurt drops his head back and laughs, steps closer to Blaine.

“I like dancing,” Kurt says.

“Me too.”

...

They stumble into Blaine’s room at 3am, Blaine rushing to get out of sweaty clothes and to brush his beer breath away. But when he’s changed and back from the washroom, Kurt is asleep. Again.

...

“Do you want to go to brunch?” Blaine asks as the 11am sun wakes them both from their drunken slumber. “Coffee or greasy food seems in order.” Kurt can’t do it. He has a lunch meeting with a Professor for a possible internship to help pay the New York City bills. “Afternoon walk in Central Park? Show you the sites?” Blaine tries one more time. But Kurt has an appointment at the bursary office.

“So I’ll be back here later tonight?” Kurt’s last night.

“Yeah sure,” Blaine smiles. An actor needs to be an expert at masking disappointment.

...

It’s 7:43 pm when Blaine hears the click of his dorm room door. He was still hoping Kurt might be back in time to grab dinner with him, but he was hungry and not that desperate so he went with his friends to get subs at 6:30. Now he’s sitting at his desk chair, trying to finish his less than riveting transposition assignment.

“Hey,” Kurt shuts the door, dropping his bag and jacket on his mattress, walking over to the desk.

“Hey,” Blaine says smiling up for a second before turning back to his homework. “Music theory.” He points down at his paper.

“Mmmm.” Kurt nods behind him.

Then Blaine feels Kurt’s hands on his shoulders. What? Kurt pauses for a second but then starts lightly massaging. Blaine figures he must look stressed. “What are you working on?” Nothing anymore. “Oh this? Just a transposition assignment. Kurt looks over his shoulder. Blaine can’t imagine Kurt is actually interested in transposition but still his face is getting very close to Blaine’s. Blaine can feel his breath on his cheek. What is Kurt doing? He pushes out his desk chair to look at him and Kurt’s hands fall naturally away.

“How were your meetings?” Blaine deflects whatever the situation is. Seems a safe topic.

“Professor Cohen has a spot for me to teach martial arts in stage combat, actually. If I get in, of course.” Kurt sits down on the edge of Blaine’s bed. “And the bursary office was almost as fun as Pride and Prejudice last night.”

“It was fun,” Blaine nods. He can still feel the thumping of the music, so many boys crowded on to the dance floor. So much charged energy. Or maybe that was just when Kurt’s body was pressed against his at the end of the night. Whatever.

“You’re a good dancer,” Kurt says, not breaking eye contact since sitting down. Blaine’s heart starts to race, his brain willing him to calm down, that he knows they’re just friends. New, just barely friends at that. Not every hot gay guy will want him. And if Kurt had, he had his chance. Or chances. Anyways, he is a good dancer.

“Thanks,” Blaine shrugs, hiding his blush. “You too.” The silence feels heavy and Blaine is worried it’s going to get awkward. Why now? He’s running through a list of conversation topics to stop the silence - Do you play an instrument? Favorite musical? Favorite museum?

“If you come sit here, I’ll finish that massage,” Kurt breaks it first. Blaine’s eyebrows rise and he tries to keep his face neutral. Calm. Kurt is biting his lower lip but there’s a smile underneath. Maybe even a shy one as he motions with his head for Blaine to come. “You look like you’ve been sitting at that desk for too long.” Was that a pick up line? He’s been sitting at his desk for about 23 minutes. Clearly too long. Now his hands are clammy but at least it’s Kurt who is giving the massage.

Obviously he goes to sit on his bed. He smiles and turns his back to Kurt. Kurt’s hands are strong. Blaine thinks that he must have a firm handshake. Madam Tibideaux will like that.

A good actor also needs to be able to hide his excitement. And nerves. Never let them see you sweat.

“Is this okay?” Kurt breaks the silence after a few minutes.

“Mmmm,” Blaine hums. “Not exactly the word I would choose, though.”

“Oh really?” Kurt’s voice is soft and amused. “And what word would you choose?”

Oh. “Maybe relaxing.” Ugh no. “I mean amazing,” Blaine corrects himself. “Feels good, hot.” Blaine shudders.

Kurt’s hands freeze on his back. Too much. Delete. “I mean-”

“Blaine?” Kurt’s hands disappear and Blaine closes his eyes to hide from the rejection. “Can you turn around?” Great. He turns. They’re both now sitting cross legged on Blaine’s bed. Situation shifted from sexual tension to honest conversation time. Blaine wishes he could rewind. ”So,” Kurt starts and he’s biting his lip again. It’s a cute look. Which is annoying. “I may have noticed that you maybe wanted something to happen this weekend,” Blaine is silent. “I mean between us.” Yeah, you didn’t need to clarify.

“I guess.” Blaine knows he’s blushing. What’s he supposed to say? Minimize. “I mean I was cool either way,” Kurt’s still biting his lip and his look is skeptical but he lets Blaine continue. “I mean you’re hot,” Kurt looks down, definitely also blushing. “But I know I”m only a freshman and I’ve never been with anyone and you’re obviously-”

“Obviously what?”

Oh. “Obviously not going to want to-” Blaine pauses. He’s embarrassed enough and self deprecation is not sexy.

“I want to, actually.”

“What?” Blaine’s not sure he can take any more of this back and forth. Kurt’s smiling now. Pure flirt. Blaine’s hands are shaking and clammy. Hot. Not in the good way.

“I want to kiss you,” Kurt says matter of factly. “And if that’s okay with you, I think we should see where it goes from there.”

Blaine nods. “Definitely okay. But still not the word I would choose.” Sexual tension reinstated.

Kurt is blushing. He is blushing. And they are just sitting there on his dumb little single dorm bed, in dumb child-like cross legged positions, and Blaine is trying to figure out how to get from here to kissing. “We could-” Kurt lies down on the bed and makes room for Blaine to lie down beside the wall.

“Sorry,” Blaine says as he kicks Kurt’s shin trying to get into position. “I warned you the room was small.” So he hasn’t quite mastered the art of pillow talk. Blaine is grinning stupidly and trying not to avoid eye contact and feeling a little ridiculous because he is sweaty and nervous and about to kiss this guy. Be cool. But also, Kurt is lying on his bed, pink and sparkling and probably not nearly as nervous as he is. Kurt giggles. But maybe slightly.

Then Kurt’s arm is moving around his waist, pulling their bodies together. Kissing. Finally. He’s been ready for so long. Lips and tongues and teeth. It’s messy and wet and he’s sure he’s way too eager. But he’s kissing. And kissing Kurt.

....

Two hours later, Blaine lies on his back staring wide eyed at the ceiling, trying not to wake Kurt who is curled up in a ball snoozing lightly beside him.

“You okay?” Kurt opens an eye. Blaine turns to him with his best ‘Okay is not the word I was looking for’ look. Again.

“Mmmmhmm.”

“You look shell shocked.” Kurt says propping himself up on his elbow. Blaine shrugs. Probably accurate. “Too much?”

Blaine turns to face him. “No.”

Turns out that “I want to kiss you,” turns very quickly into seeing where things go.

“Can I take off your shirt?” Kurt was kneeling above him and he was lying there, kiss stained and relaxed and not about to say no.

“Well I guess fair is fair. I’ve already seen you shirtless.”

“You have?” They’d spent this weekend taking respectful turns in the washroom.

“The night I met you,” Blaine answers and it clicks.

“My beer stained shirt,” Kurt laughs. “ I am a bit of an exhibitionist,” He says as he tosses off his own shirt and starts unbuttoning Blaine’s.

The rest happened so easily and naturally that it’s a bit of a blur. Rolling and bundled and kissing in boxer briefs and Blaine’s hands wandering down Kurt’s back no longer wanting to stop at the elastic band. “I wanted to do this last night,” He breathes as he cups Kurt’s ass and squeezes.

“Take them off,” Kurt encourages and then they’re naked and kissing and Blaine is too turned on to worry about any aftermath of sex on the first date. They’ve spent three nights together, anyways.

Kurt’s cock is amazing. Especially hard in his hand as Kurt moans into his neck, flush on top of him. And Blaine isn’t sure what comes over him but he’s pretty sure the words “Blow me” are his own. Kurt looks up at him, pausing from where he’s kissing down his chest, eyebrows raised. “Please. I want you to.”

“Bossy,” Kurt whispers into his ear and he feels Kurt’s body peel off of his, sticky sweat hitting the cool air. He opens his eyes, about to apologize, but he can’t before Kurt sinks down on him, on his knees, nothing but an amused twinkle in his eyes before he closes them.

Kurt moans around him and he moans back which takes him too close to the edge of this being over, so he bites back his own sounds.

“I want to hear you again,” Kurt pops off before humming around him.

“I can’t. I’m too close.”

“Me too.” Kurt touches himself between his legs. “Come on, do it.”

“Bossy,” Blaine groans but he obliges, breathing hard and loud, Kurt’s name on his lips as he comes in Kurt’s mouth. “You didn’t have to-”

But Kurt takes a come streaked finger and shushes him as he lets his head fall back and moans, finishing for himself. “I wanted to.”

And now they’re here. Loose and tired and still naked in Blaine’s bed. And no it wasn’t too much. But it is a lot. At least for him.

“You’re bossy when-” Kurt pauses, his cheeks turning pink. It’s a little late for modesty.

“When in the middle of sex?” Blaine laughs at Kurt’s sudden shyness. “I couldn’t have known.”

“Well I guess my bedroom skills are so well honed that I can bring out your inner diva.”

“Sorry,” Blaine apologizes. “I really didn’t mean to-”

“I liked it.” Kurt inches into him, lips on his shoulder. “Dummy. Of course I did.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good,” Blaine smiles a little smugly. “It was pretty epic for a first time.”

“For an any time,” Kurt says. “And trust me, it isn’t always.”

“I don’t know if that means we should never do that again lest I disappoint, or risk seeing you again and seeing what happens.”

“You have no choice.”

“I don’t?”

“No. We’re obviously going to see each other again. You’re dating my roommate.”

...

They text for the next few weeks. Not all the time. Not always flirty. But sometimes. Enough. Well, almost enough. But he’s okay to play it cool.

Kurt: Thanks for having me last weekend. It was fun :)

Blaine: It was okay ;)

Kurt: That’s now a running joke, right?

Blaine: No. It was okay. We definitely need more practice.

Kurt: Can you explain transposition to me in three minutes or less?

Blaine: Good luck on your history mid-term! Doesn’t Tina have that too? Tell her good luck!

Kurt: Good luck on your showcase audition!

It’s back and forth as casual as possible while feeling like you’re falling slowly from up in the warm clouds, until Blaine’s phone starts buzzing and buzzing in the middle of music history class. Enough times that he excuses himself.

Kurt: I GOT IN!!!!! I’M COMING TO NYADA!!

Blaine texts back bolded caps CONGRATULATIONS and every celebratory emoji he can find. Including the kiss. Seven times.

And Kurt’s text that night is an open invitation.

Kurt to Blaine: Any chance you’ll come visit your girlfriend next weekend? I hear she misses you.

Blaine to Tina: You up for a visit this weekend?

Tina to Blaine: Of course!

Tina to Blaine: Oh but.

Blaine to Tina: But what?

Tina to Blaine: You should know that -

Blaine to Kurt: Buying my ticket. Can’t wait! Oh but-

Kurt to Blaine: But what?

Blaine to Kurt: It’s just that I haven’t -

Blaine to Kurt: Told her yet.

Tina to Blaine: Told them yet.

Blaine to Kurt and Tina: This should be fun.

#gleekto writes #close quarters #comments accepted as compensation

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dmitri-smerdyakov · 7 years ago

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Family ship meme for Jakweenie por favor :)

Ooh, yes, I’m always up for some Jakweenie! :D

* Who’s moreprotective?Can’t you just imagine Queenie being a bit of a protective mama bear? Jacobwould be that parent who maybe tries to allow the kids to do more stuff forthemselves, whereas Queenie is a little bit like, “okay but be safe! Don’t goout of sight!”* Who’s more carefree?They’re both really carefree, I feel; Queenie loves life and is generallyjust very carefree because of it, so I’m inclined to say Queenie.* Who’s the best at maths?Jacob(?) because he obviously had to plan out all the details about thebakery, about the loan, management etc. so I’m assuming he’s good at maths. I’mnot sure if Wizarding children learn that kind of thing as much.* Who’s the best at English?I wouldn’t say either is better than the other, really; perhaps Queenie hasmore of a way with words because of her Legilimency though?* When their children are upset, what do the parents do?Jacob makes the kids their favourite pastries, no matter what time of theday it is whilst Queenie settles them with some hot cocoa in the meantime. Thenboth parents sit with the children, giving cuddles if needed, and they talkthings over – Queenie can obviously read what happened, but they prefer thekids to say it themselves and not bottle it up.* What cheers up the children most?Days spent in the bakery with their Papa, helping him and telling thecustomers funny stories about all of the creature-shaped pastries. Also,bedtimes when Queenie sings them to sleep.* Who works most, and who works least?Once the children were on the way, Queenie happily left MACUSA/Wand Permitsto stay with their children – her being pregnant would have raised a great dealof questions, for one, and she really didn’t like the menial job. Jacobcontinued to work at the bakery, though Queenie often helped him.* How strict are they?Not really very strict; their children are brought up to be polite andsweet, so there’s not a great number of times where they need to be strict. Theonly times are when the kids are really misbehaving or causing trouble, and it’susually Queenie; she doesn’t shout or yell or even get angry, she justquietly/softly warns them to behave – and they do because they don’t want toupset Mama Queenie.* Private, home, or public school?They went to public no-maj!school before moving to Dorset, and then theywent to a muggle public school in England up until they went to Hogwarts. * Who spoils the children most?They both spoil the kids equally; Queenie showers each and every one ofthem with love and attention, indulging them with stories or songs, and Jacobplays with them and makes them whatever pastries they want.* How many children do they have/want?Oh, they have a whole brood! There’s Tobias (Toby), Daisy, then the twinsRuth and Abel, followed by Elijah (Eli); after they move to Dorset, they have adaughter called Lucy and they adopt a little girl shortly after called Penny.Jacob and Queenie love having a large family because there’s so much love to goaround.* Who brings up the idea [of having/adopting children]?Well, neither of them bothered bringing up any kind of contraceptivemethods – not even Queenie, who was aware of potions and such – but they weren’ttalking about it when they found out Queenie was pregnant with Toby. Obviouslythey were both a little hesitant when finding out because their marriage wasillegal, and if they were found out then the family would be torn apart – but theywere both excited, nonetheless.* How do they celebrate birthdays?Jacob and Queenie go all out whenever they can; Jacob bakes big cakes forthe child whose birthday it is, Queenie either buys or makes them toys/clothes/presents,and the children choose what activity to do for the day, depending on theweather/school/day. When it’s Queenie’s birthday, Jacob gets the kids up early to help him make hera big breakfast, and they surprise her with breakfast in bed and morningcuddles. All Queenie wants usually is to spend the day with the kids/family,though Jacob always does something a little extra for her; one year, he getsher a small little gold necklace – a locket – with a picture of their kids init. Once they live in Dorset, he gets Newt and/or Tina to watch the kids (inlater years, Toby is old enough to babysit his younger siblings) and he takesQueenie out. She loves going to the pictures because she can’t hear thethoughts of the people on-screen, and they go out for dinner too. Sex is agiven, of course.When it’s Jacob’s birthday, the kids wake him up by clambering on top of himand giving him hugs/kisses because they love their Papa. The kids make giftsfor Jacob, usually colourful drawings or stories, and he grins and gets a real kickout of them. Queenie insists on making him breakfast on his birthdays as he’susually the one who makes it (he makes damn good pancakes), and she gives himlittle presents that mean a lot: they’re not expensive or extravagant, justpictures of their family because she knows that’s all he wants really. If theycan get Newt or Tina to take the kids then they’ll go out for a nice dinner,and then return home for some nice birthday sex.* How does everyone show they’re upset?Jacob tries not to cry but he’s a real big softie, and Queenie knowsbecause of a) Legilimency and b) years of knowing him; he was brought up by afather who firmly believed that emotions were completely feminine and notmasculine at all, so he tries not to show when he’s hurting. It’s obvious whenQueenie is upset because she’ll cry – but also because Jacob will notice thather eyes aren’t shining as bright, that her smile isn’t as genuine or wide, andhe can’t have that because she deserves the world and more.Toby and Eli both sulk and remain in their bedrooms if they’re upset (Toby hasto be strong as the oldest, and he can’t have his siblings seeing him cry);Daisy and Abel both grow quiet and pretend to read a book or something,refusing to talk about it. Ruth lets everyone know that she’s upset byannouncing it, unashamed if people know she’s hurting (“Why should I be ashamed?”); Lucy denies she’supset and forces herself to smile…and then Penny, the little redhead, has afiery temper and snaps at people if she’s hurting/upset/sad.* Drinking? They don’t drink a lot, but… Gigglewater. It always, no matter how manyyears have passed, makes Queenie giggle whenever Jacob takes a shot ofGigglewater.* Do they take their children to work sometimes? (Worded weirdly)Queenie gave up work at MACUSA when the kids arrived, and even if she hadn’tthen I doubt she could have brought them with her. Jacob, however, brings thekids to the bakery whenever he can.* Who lays on boobs and who is the one with the boobs that get laid on? (thankyou Megan)(ROFL Why did Audrey put this in) Queenie obviously has the boobs, but Idefinitely see them lying together with her head on Jacob’s chest or shoulderbecause he makes her feel safe and loved.* Any special traditions, besides holidays?As I mentioned in my Newtina one, Tina and Queenie made a tradition ofremembering their parents on the anniversary of their deaths; at first Queenieisn’t sure how Jacob will feel about that, but of course he assures her that it’sa nice idea and that if she wants to do it then he’ll be there with her. So itbecomes a tradition – with the kids later joining in – to talk about Queenie’smemories of her parents, about the things that she and Tina did as children, andit’s just really nice.* Who has the dirtiest mind? Well, it’s hard because they’re both quite sweet on each other – obviously weknow Jacob has dirty thoughts of Queenie, though he gets flustered about itbecause “jeez, she don’t deserve men gawking over her like that, she deservesbetter”. However, Queenie is pretty loved up too – she has less concerns aboutthat kind of thing being taboo because she’s been exposed to thoughts about itsince she was young due to her Legilimency, so she has little problem inthinking her dirty thoughts about Jacob ;)* What are arguments between the two SO’s about?Oh, Jacob and Queenie don’t exactly argue; the closest to arguing is whenQueenie misunderstands something she’s gleamed from Jacob’s mind and she dwellson it before confronting him – i.e. when she’s seven months pregnant with twinsand gets overly-emotional because he’s been at work and hasn’t been homeenough, so she thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. Like I said, they don’targue because Queenie can read his thoughts and Jacob is a sweetheart and they’reboth too sweet on each other for that kind of thing, really.* What are arguments between the children and the parents about?When the kids are teenagers and Queenie reads their minds; they love theirMama, they do, but they wish that she didn’t hear their thoughts because there’sno privacy. They get really defensive about privacy. Jacob settles thingsusually in that regard.* What kind of house would they live in?In New York it’s a small apartment that really doesn’t fit their family asit grows but they love anyway. In Dorset, it’s much more spacious; the kids allget their own rooms, there’s open space, it’s close to the Scamander house, andthey don’t have to hide at all.* Any pets?When the Kowalskis first moved, Daisy and Ruth got into an argument thatUncle Newt settled by promising Ruth a Puffskein, a Kneazle kitten and ahippogriff. He didn’t go back on his word (Ruth is small but terrifying, youdon’t want to be on her bad side) and so that was how the Kowalskis ended upwith a Puffskein named Poof, a Kneazle named Pepper and a hippogriff called “Fluff-Feathers”(it’s the last time Ruth is allowed to name an animal, Newt privately tellshimself)(Queenie could have hexed Newt for allowing her daughter to own a fully-grownhippogriff. Jacob was absolutely thrilled)* What’s one odd quirk about the family?Family dinners where it goes absolutely silent and then Queenie/Daisy/Abelgo “Are you being serious?!” or similar after reading someone’s mind.* Married before or after having kids?Before – their marriage was very quick and illegal. To add, Jacob wanted tobe a gentleman and do it right for Queenie by waiting until marriage.* What are some rules in the house?Not really a rule, but the kids all end up pleading at one point “Pleasedon’t read my mind!”. Queenie is also adamant that the animals do not sleep onthe kids’ beds (this fails when Pepper the Kneazle snuggles up to Queenie onenight purring, and Queenie falls in love)* What’s the SO’s ‘song?’I don’t know really! I’m sure that they loved jazz as a couple or somethingsimilar, you know? Something fun to dance to together.* Some family-shared talents? (I hope that makes sense)Wizardry and baking :D* One thing the kids do that annoys the sh*t out of the parents?The kids don’t annoy their parents because their parents are wrapped aroundthe kids’ little fingers…but even so, it is a little grating when Ruth decidesto cry or shout…or when Queenie and Jacob are “getting busy” and Queeniesuddenly hears one of the kids waking up. In the end, they put a locking charmon the door and silencing spells on the bedroom to be safe.* One thing the SO does that annoys the other?Aww, they don’t annoy each other really! Queenie just wishes that Jacobwouldn’t think so little of himself/how he looks, you know? She loves him, sheloves every part of him, and she doesn’t want him to change for anything.

#jakweenie #Jacob Kowalski #queenie goldstein #fantastic beasts and where to find them

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thistleandthorn-rpg · 6 years ago

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Congrats JJ on your third character, Felix Cohen-Chang! Please send us his blog within 48 hours!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias: jj Preferred pronoun: he/him Age: 25+ Timezone/Country: CST RP Experience: Other sites not on tumblr mostly. Activity Level: 7 out of 10

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Felix Roland Cohen-Chang Designation: Dominant Age: 21 Faceclaim: Ross Butler Birthday: September 10 Orientation: Bisexual, prefers women. Kinks: Frottage, anything not on his anti-kinks. (tho he still considers himself a ‘virgin’ where penetration sex is involved vaginally&anally - which will be temporary) Anti-Kinks: Feeding, vomit, scat/feces, yiffing.

BIO:

Growing up, Felix took pride in being the 'man’ of the household. Although the actual saying meant nothing compared to him having any say when arguing with his two sisters, it was probably the given as to why he leaned more Dominant. He had a liking to taking care of his sisters, keeping them safe, and sticking up for them against anyone at school if a situation called for it. He wasn’t particularly popular, but he wasn’t on the same level as an outcast as Tina was. He played sports, he was in the musical every season during school, and he kept himself busy during the summer months by getting odd jobs around the neighborhood, helping his mom at the coffee shop, or secretly sneaking off in the night to the secret below ground gay club at Pikes Place Market, getting a job as a makeup artist and helping with costume changes for a few months until they realized he was under 18 and instead 17. Since then he’s been fascinated by drag, and even participates in it for a little extra cash on the side from time to time under the stage name “Shay D”.

After graduation, he took his earnings and took a trip over seas to explore the world. Wanting to stretch his legs, get away from home, and just live life without any rules holding him back. He let himself run wild, to the point of getting drunk on multiple occasions, and accidentally getting a pretty girl into bed. As he had been a virgin up until this point, and he was still very much drunk when it happened, he brushes it off as a wet dream that never happened. Not long after this, he flew back to Seattle from his year of exploring to get back into the swing of things. Of course, after being around the world your own paycheck, and perhaps with your mothers help now and again, the idea of being kempt up without freedom seems even more of something that sets his teeth on edge. The only reason he shows up at Lima Heights is from the pressure of their mothers that he needs to look out for his sister(s) and take his mark more seriously, lest he watches his life pass by only to end up in the auction house.

BIO QUESTIONS:

What is your biggest fear and why?

x - Being in a cage. Locked away from the outside world, like some animal with no rights or no say to what happens to me. Some could say that’s the same as the slave auction house, and they’d be correct - but also in life in general. I don’t want to end up in the same routine, unable to break out of it all because there are boundaries keeping me from freedom.

What 3 objects/places mean the most to you and why?

x - Tokyo, Japan. I visited that place on a spur of the moment. The food, the people, the culture, it was just fascinating. There was always something to do, somewhere to go, people to talk to! It was great!

x - Pikes Place. That fish market holds a lot of fond memories. And it has a killer 'crumpet’ shoppe, that I always liked getting breakfast from when I rode my bike instead of taking the bus. Even actual crumpets and pastries from the UK couldn’t compare to this place, which sounds crazy I know but it’s the truth. And the steamed milk? Ugh. To die for.

x - My phone. When you’re stuck in your room, you only have your phone to keep you company, right? It’s what keeps communication going, and seeing what you’re missing out on to encourage you to get out as soon as possible.

Who is the one person you’d most like to meet (dead or alive)?

x - My biological mother. I love my moms dearly, but I’m curious to know why our biological mother gave us up so easily and if she regrets it. Clearly our moms aren’t going to tell us a thing, maybe if I find out who she is, she would fill in the gaps.

What is the one moment you would describe as your happiest/most excited?

x - You can’t just choose one moment! Every moment I stepped off the plane and into a new city, new country, new continent. It was the best! I got to experience new smells that weren’t the plane cabin, I got to experience new language, new food, new transportation, new everything. It’s eye opening! The entire year of my travels was the best thing that could’ve happened, and I want to do that again once I graduate from this place for good.

#accepted

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lodelss · 6 years ago

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Soraya Roberts | Longreads | February 2019 | 10 minutes (2,439 words)

“Maroon 5 is just Red Hot Chili Peppers for virgins.” “This is the Fyre Festival of halftime shows.” “Anyone else think Adam Levine looks like an Ed Hardy T-shirt?” The Super Bowl halftime show was worth it for the social media stream it kicked off; otherwise, it was notable only for the fact that Maroon 5 (along with Big Boi and Travis Scott) turned up at all when so many others (Rihanna and Pink and Cardi B) turned the gig down. “I got to sacrifice a lot of money to perform,” Cardi B said. “But there’s a man who sacrificed his job for us, so we got to stand behind him.” Though she ended up appearing in a Pepsi commercial anyway, Cardi’s heart seemed to be in the right place, which is to say the place where protesting injustice is an obligation rather than a choice (of her other appearances around the Super Bowl, she said, “if the NFL could benefit off from us, then I’m going to benefit off y’all”). The man she was referring to was, of course, quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who took a knee in 2016 during the national anthem to protest systemic oppression in America and has gone unsigned since opting out of his contract. “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” the ex-San Francisco 49er said. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way.”

“The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude,” wrote George Orwell in the 1946 essay, Why I Write. By refusing to perform at the Super Bowl, Cardi B and her peers were in fact performing two acts: acknowledging that as artists they have political power, and using that political power to support Kaepernick’s cause. By replacing them, Adam Levine did the opposite (while claiming to do nothing at all): “we are going to keep on doing what we do, hopefully without becoming politicians to make people understand, ‘We got you.'” The mistake Maroon 5’s frontman made was assuming he could isolate art from politics, which is impossible, particularly in this case — the Super Bowl was already infused with political turmoil, and to negate that was to undercut its significance. Kaepernick’s lawyer, Mark Geragos, would have preferred for Levine to be open about his position. “If you’re going to cross this ideological or intellectual picket line, then own it, and Adam Levine certainly isn’t owning it,” he said. “In fact, if anything, it’s a cop out when you start talking about, ‘I’m not a politician, I’m just doing the music.’ Most of the musicians who have any kind of consciousness whatsoever understand what’s going on here.”

By using “picket line” — a term traditionally associated with labor unions — Geragos further established the Super Bowl and its halftime show as a locus of political action. Essentially he was calling Levine a latter-day scab, an opportunist subverting others’ attempts to bring about change. Though the epithet dates back to the 18th century, when “scab” referred to workers who refused to join unions, by the next century it was used to designate workers who crossed a strike’s picket line. “Just as a scab is a physical lesion,” wrote Stephanie Smith in Household Words, “the strikebreaking scab disfigures the social body of labor — both the solidarity of workers and the dignity of work.” The musicians who refused to play the Super Bowl were expressing solidarity with Kaepernick — and the people of color on whose behalf he is protesting — and preserving the dignity of work. By crossing that invisible picket line, Levine not only broke solidarity but, paradoxically, sacrificed the dignity of work in the name of his own career.

* * *

That anyone in entertainment would feign political neutrality in the current climate is jarring enough, but the move further implies a glaring ignorance of the industry’s history. Nowhere was the politics of celebrity more literal than in Hollywood during the 1940s and ’50s. At that time, the infamous Hollywood blacklist meant that any whiff of Communism threatened your job. Self-protection required coming clean and informing on others to the House of Un-American Activities (HUAC), but a group of artists dubbed “The Hollywood Ten” protested by refusing to testify. Director Elia Kazan, however, gave HUAC eight names in 1952, helping to bury the careers of actors Morris Carnovsky and Art Smith and playwright Clifford Odets and securing his own. “I said I’d hated the Communists for many years and didn’t feel right about giving up my career to defend them,” he recalled in his memoir. But Kazan writes in the negative, as though he wasn’t actively promoting his personal cause. What he was really doing was expressing the power of his own politics in order to support his own work. His solidarity was with himself alone.

Nearly 50 years after he named names, in 1999, Kazan was awarded a lifetime achievement award at the Oscars. Actors like Nick Nolte and Amy Madigan disagreed with his actions and thus refused to applaud his art, but others, including Warren Beatty and Meryl Streep, seemed able to divorce the two. “I never discussed it with Warren, but I believe we were both standing for the same reason — out of regard for the creativity,” George Stevens, Jr. wrote in Conversations With the Great Moviemakers of Hollywood’s Golden Age. But Kazan’s creativity came at the expense of others’ creativity; to celebrate him was to celebrate the truncated careers he cut short to allow his own to thrive. This cognitive dissonance appeared, for some, to be resolved by time. Kazan was 89, how long were we supposed to hold his politics against him?

It’s funny that we never ask how long we should hold up someone’s work; our cultural memory favors the art object over the lives of the artists who make it — and their politics. Hollywood’s reaction to Kazan is reminiscent of its reaction to Roman Polanski, who was accused of drugging and pled guilty to raping a 13 year old girl in 1977 before fleeing the States (and his sentence). In 2009, more than 100 actors and filmmakers signed a petition to release Polanski after he was arrested in Switzerland on a U.S. warrant. At the time, Debra Winger, of all people, said, “We stand by him and await his release and his next masterpiece.” The consensus was that he had served his time. The past had therefore eaten up his offense, leaving behind only his art, as though this alone defined him. And even where it didn’t, it clearly did. “He’s now happily married; he has two children,” is how Sigourney Weaver explained last year why she had worked with him and would continue to. She believed she was listening to his victim by advancing “with understanding and compassion.”

Woody Allen, even more than Polanski, has been eclipsed by his work. Actors who align with him are aligning with the politics of privileging his creative output, as though such a thing existed on its own. “There are directors, producers and men of power who have for decades been awarded and applauded for their highly regarded work by both this industry and moviegoers alike,” Kate Winslet, who appeared in Allen’s Wonder Wheel in 2017, said in apology last year. “The message we received for years was that it was the highest compliment to be offered roles by these men.” The year prior, when asked if the allegations against Allen gave her pause, Winslet had said: “Having thought it all through, you put it to one side and just work with the person.” Kristen Stewart took a similar work-first approach when discussing why she appeared in Allen’s 2016 film, Café Society: “The experience of making the movie was so outside of that, it was fruitful for [me and co-star Jesse Eisenberg] to go on with it.” What this did was to elevate the work above all else, which delivered the message that the voices of regular women were secondary to the voices of creative men.

It’s impossible for one artist to work with another without their collaboration being informed by the politics of both parties. Yet Rami Malek seemed to believe he could circumvent this fact while working with director Bryan Singer — a man accused of assaulting multiple teen boys — on the Freddie Mercury biopic Bohemian Rhapsody. When he was first asked about Singer at the Golden Globes, Malek responded: “There’s only one thing we needed to do, and that was to celebrate Freddie Mercury.” He claimed he didn’t know about the allegations, that he was only in it for the work. Yet implicit in the work was Singer’s labor, Singer himself. Despite his replacement by Dexter Fletcher, his presence continues to define the film. The name on Bohemian continues to be his, the accolades it receives go to him (the Baftas excepted). Every time Malek refuses to address the controversy around Singer, he chooses not to confront the realities of child abuse; and every time he appears on screen under Singer’s name, his work is a reflection of that.

Rami Malek’s stance aligns with another common myth about artists, which is that they can cast aside politics to serve the public. In the early 1980’s, the United Nations called for a boycott of South Africa over apartheid, but more than fifty musicians — including Tina Turner, Curtis Mayfield, and Isaac Hayes — ignored it. “If the people didn’t want us there, they wouldn’t come to see the shows,” said Millie Jackson. What she did not acknowledge was that performing there implied she approved of how the ruling government of South Africa was treating its people — or at least, that she didn’t actively oppose it — and that she was willing to take part in its economy and contribute to the bank balance of a problematic government. Ten years later, blue-collar-adjacent rocker Bruce Springsteen crossed the picket line set up by a number of Tacoma, Washington, city employee unions, explaining, “I know a lot of you folks came a long way to be here tonight, so I got a commitment to be on this stage.” Once again, here was a musician who, rather than refusing to contribute his labor in solidarity with the exploited labor of others, was serving the city that oppressed them. More than the words in his songs, his actions spoke to his real allegiances.

During a writers’ strike in 2007, a string of TV hosts — from Ellen DeGeneres to Jay Leno to Jon Stewart — eventually crossed the picket line, some more sheepishly than others, with variations on the “show must go on” excuse. “It’s really hard to have to deal with where they are and where I am,” DeGeneres said, “because I’m kinda caught in the middle.” This defense could be mistaken for selflessness — she is sacrificing her own petty problems for the greater good — if it weren’t for the fact that the audience also occupies the oppressed space she upheld by performing. At least Stewart, who was one of the least comfortable crossing the picket line, used his platform to further the cause of the writers by addressing their strike on air. Still, it’s hard to sympathize when you realize, around the same time, the much less powerful Steve Carell held up taping of The Office because he refused to be a scab. Each extra moment of discomfort he conveyed to the network, each bit of pay he lost, meant more leverage afforded to the striker.

* * *

Just as the artist is not static, neither are their politics, and just as vital as acknowledging one’s alliances is acknowledging one’s changes. Last year, Natalie Portman became one of the few celebrities to openly regret signing the aforementioned Polanski petition. “We lived in a different world, and that doesn’t excuse anything,” she said. “But you can have your eyes opened and completely change the way you want to live. My eyes were not open.” Polanski was not the topic du jour, but her voice was an important reminder that as a culture we had failed to hold him to account. In a similar vein, though they could not undo working with Woody Allen, Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Hall, and Griffin Newman made amends by donating their paychecks to nonprofits like RAINN. “I learned conclusively that I cannot put my career over my morals again,” Newman said. Other artists, as Portman alluded to, have opened their eyes and are willing to learn and to admit their fallibility. Though Lorde had planned to perform in Israel, she ended up changing her mind — joining fellow boycotters Elvis Costello and Lauryn Hill — after two women wrote to her about the oppression within the country, saying, “we believe that an economic, intellectual and artistic boycott is an effective way of speaking out against these crimes.” So she spoke instead of singing, aware that in this instance her voice was stronger in that act.

Still others have literally rewritten history, proving their beliefs are so fierce that they are willing to erase their own art in the name of their politics. Michelle Williams offered to work for free in 2017 to reshoot a number of scenes for All The Money In The World with Christopher Plummer after sexual assault allegations emerged about her former co-star Kevin Spacey. “A movie is less important than a human life,” she explained at the time. This is the active approach to change, which eclipses more passive sartorial gestures like the blackout at the Golden Globes. “For years, we’ve sold these awards shows as women, with our gowns and colors and our beautiful faces and our glamour,” Time’s Up co-founder Eva Longoria said. “This time the industry can’t expect us to go up and twirl around.” It was a toothless rebellion, an objection in accessory form which fit seamlessly into the system which had been exposed in all its corruption.

More effective is direct action, such as Frances McDormand using her Oscar speech to advocate for “inclusion riders” and musicians spurning the Super Bowl to support people of color or Trump’s inauguration to reject everything he represents. Singer Rebecca Ferguson, runner up on The X Factor UK in 2010, was one of the few musicians who said she would accept an invitation to the latter — if she could perform “Strange Fruit,” the 1939 protest song about racism in America. “Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,” she would sing, “Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.”

Trump chose the Great Talladega College Tornado Marching Band instead.

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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outeccbattery5 · 6 years ago

Text

A Day Lost

I was in a state of inertia. It was dinner time, but I didn't want to eat anything. Actually I did't feel like doing anything. I was a little bit tired, but did't want to hit the sack. I was eager to get down to work, but I lacked some motivation. It seemed procrastination was holding me back. I felt a sense of void. What could I do to rekindle my enthusiasm for life? I strolled to the balcony, looking up to the cloudless sky, as if there was the answer to my question hiding somewhere there. It was a serene morning. No inspiration. As I turned around, the dying hyacinth in the corner throws a miserable look at me. I'm thrilled. It occurred to me that I had forgotten to take care of her for I did't know how long a time.

All of a sudden, the death of the hyacinth had tightened my nerve to reach its breaking point. No more toleration. The monotony and dullness of the everyday existence were like a huge monster nibbling at my fragile nerves. For months, I had been doing the same things and meeting the same people and eating the same food. I could predict what I would definitly die of monotony in the near future if Iife continued like this. When life is devoid of any newness, the burning desire to discover originality will urge you to act in the way others may take you as a freak. Most people around are leading a routine life. But inside anxiety looms large as time passes. A vent for the pent-up emotion is essential when things are on the brink of being out of control. Some may argue that I just don't have a sound mindset and I need to go for some positive psychological tips. Maybe they are right. Anyway, I was going to do something different. I resolved to make today a totally different one from the past several months.

I exerted my imagination to search a practical plan. And here it is: people don't always enjoy themselves when they get lost. Have you ever tried to put yourself in a new place to enjoy yourself? I hadn’t done such crazy thing before. The map in our smart phone can always prevent us from being caught in such a preposterous situation. I intended to arrange some random factors in my plan so that unexpected things were more likely to happen to me. I did expect I could bump into some lovely surprises.

Practical steps should be taken. I took a bus that came to me when I walked out of my door. I planned to take bus randomly and spent 20 minutes on the ride. This was designed to ensure I could end up in a strange place. I take my phone with me, because I had to rely on the map in it to get back when it was late. But I wouldn’t use it when I was exploring my new world.

I got on the bus and found half of the seats were empty, so I sit on one of them, observing the scene out of the bus through the window. Most people on the street wear a blank face walking quickly towards a direction. An endless stream of vehicles were moving on the road. Skyscrapers flanked the street and the sunshine could hardly make its way down here.

When I got off the bus, I was in front of a park. I thought I was destined to meet plants. I love trees and flowers. I walked into the park and wander around. Some of the visitors were lovers sitting on benches whispering to one another and then laughing out loud; some of them were children playing skateboards in groups; some were just like me walking aimlessly around.

Suddenly, something grabbed my attention. A girl was reading serenely in a corner. She was surrounded by bushes and her eyes were fixed on the book. In some way, she had some magic charm to me. I was curious that why she could focus on her book in such a place in which reading would be the last thing I choose to do. I approached her from her back. When I was near to her, I leaned forward to see what she was reading. I discovered that the book is The Great Gatsby written by the famous American novelist F. Scott. Fitzgerald. I had just finished reading the book several days ago and was deeply impressed by Gatsby. She almost finished it. When she closes the book, I said, “Hello.”

She turned around and was shocked that someone had been behind her

“Hello!” She replied with a wierd tone.

“I have read that book too and I really think it is a wonderful one.”

“Yes, it is. So why did you sneak up on me?” She looks at me with her big brown eyes and seems a little confused.

“Nothing. I was just curious that what you were reading here. By the way, this is not a good place for reading. Why don’t you read in a library?”

“No reason. I just prefer here.” She shrugged her shoulders and was about to leave,

“Where are you going”

“Why? Do you need to know that?”

“Oh, I…uh…what’s your name?”

“Tina”

“Eric.” I offer my hand to shake hands with her. She stares at me strangely and walked straight away.

“I’m going to read in a nearby coffee shop.”

“I’m free now. Do you mind if I go with you?”

She considered little and said, “Suit yourself.”

We arrive at a Starbuck shop and sit down face to face. Each of us ordered a cup of latte. She sipped at her coffee from time to time and continued to read The Great Gatsby. I observed her quietly.

“She is beautiful.” I think to myself. She wear a yellow dress and a pair of purple sandles. Her blond hair cascaded around her shoulers. Her bushy eyebrows embellished her complexion and the two big eyes seemed always to tell you something beautiful when you looked at them.

Half an hour later, she said suddenly, “I think Gatsby is a hero in the real sense. Maybe he is destined to death.”

She finished the book now.

“He is a tragic hero. I’m not sure if Daisy really loves him. She seems only cares about money and herself.”

“You should not blame her. She grows up in such a rich family. She cannot choose freely which things to do.”

“Yes, but she is not kind at all. I don’t think she knows what is love. But Gatsby knows. Gatsby gives up his dreams just for her and dies finally just for her. Daisy only runs away.”

“Why are you here today?” She asked.

“I’m just wandering around.”

“Today is Monday. Are you a student?”

“Yes. I have skipped my classes.”

She gives a embrassing smile.

“You have also skipped your classes?”

She didn’t answer my question, but I could tell from her expression that she had done the same thing as me.

The I said, “If you like The Great Gatsby, we must be interested in the same book.”

“Thousands of people like this book, that’s why it is so famous.”

“But that means we met because of the book.”

“Haha, we met because you sneaked up to me.”

“I have a feeling that meeting you in that park is not just an accident.”

“I often read there.”

“But it was the first time I came here. Then I discovered you there. Maybe I’m destined to meet you.”

Then I told her how I came here.

“That’s aninteresting idea.” She smiled.

“So next time if you want to skip you class, we can meet here and enjoy ourselves.” I said.

Her eyes flikered with joy.

“This is the first time that I skip my class. I also hope it will be the last time.” She said.

I think I desired to find another opportunity to meet her again at that moment.

“Are we going to meet again?” I asked.

“Maybe.”

“Do you mind giving me your phone number?”

“No.”

On the bus to get home, my mind had been dominated by this magic girl. I was sad that I had to leave her, and excited I had bumped into her today.

When I arrived home, I got out from my pocket the piece of paper on which Tina had written her number.

I called her immediately.

“Hello, this is Eric.”

“Tina. What’s up?”

“I just want to say thanks. You know, you make my life totally different.”

“What?”

“I cannot explain now. I’m too exicited.”

“Ok, we can meet in the park next weekand.”

“Ok, I will explain my words to you then.”

My plan has worked, hasn’t it?

#love

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bestnewsmag-blog · 8 years ago

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New Post has been published on Bestnewsmag

New Post has been published on https://bestnewsmag.com/how-dating-apps-have-changed-relationships/

How dating apps have changed relationships

Russian Vierig/Getty Snapshots) From time to time it’s tough to do not forget how single humans met every different earlier than courting apps

like Tinder. Did we go out to bars? Just bang our buddies whilst we by chance lingered too long on the residence celebration? It’s super how speedy we’ve adapted to swiping via heaps of potential partners even as half-watching reruns of buddies. And although I’ve in no way talked to a female who didn’t have complex feelings approximately being on a relationship app (as an unmarried lady myself, whether or not I like or detest Tinder adjustments on every occasion I open it), there’s little or no comprehensive studies on the wider consequences of cellular relationship. So Glamour carried out our very own survey of one,000 girls and talked to experts to find out whether apps have virtually modified how we date. The solution is sure, and in greater profound ways than we found out. Take a look:

We aren’t truly seeking to “date,” in step with me. Requesting a bit assist locating a companion is hardly ever new—wherein might Patti Stanger of The Millionaire Matchmaker reputation be if people didn’t need the expert recommendation? What Tinder changed (racking up 1.four billion swipes an afternoon, more than any other platform) was that it by no means clearly stated it was a dating app. “It killed the stigma of online relationship by using now not being about on-line courting,” says Steve Dean, founding the father of Dateworking, a consulting corporation for man or woman online daters and dating websites.B

.B.T. (earlier than Tinder), courting sites specialized based totally on a preferred degree of dedication—a casual

tough to now not recognize precisely what you have been in search of. “Tinder says, ‘Do regardless of the hell you need; we’re Just going to reveal you, people who are close by and in all likelihood to begin to speak to you,’ ” says Dean. In that way, it mimics how human beings meet in actual existence.

Tinder’s loss of an endgame fosters a culture wherein a woman can be adventurous in any way she chooses. If you find out thru Tinder that—oh, snap!—you’re truly a “unicorn” and want to simplest have sex with couples (it’s an element o.K.), you could then visit a greater specialized app, like Field, to meet them. Or In case you Just need a friend (instantly up, no disk snapshots), BumbleBFF may be for you. And you could usually join up for Espresso Meets Bagel or eHarmony In case you’re hoping for a dating. And it may work: more than 30 percent of ladies who use apps in our survey said they observed a severe associate on them; 12 percent married their suit.