#if i had a nickle for every time i made a blond boy trans

[mismatched-ideas]

You pass a dark alley and stop, sensing something. You turn and see me, standing in the shadows. I bekon you and you oblige.

You're too close. I grab you and pull you towards me so I can whisper in your ear.

"trans shin."

I let you go and disappear back into the shadows, never to be seen again.

[iraniq]

Fuzzy

part I 

I slowly woke up with a horrible headache, and a fuzzy mind. I gently moved, my leg was stiff. I wanted to roll to my back, but I felt something... Someone. Their hand was on me and I heard a growl when I moved. 

"Perfect, another idiot who thinks he owns me, because we fucked".

  - I have to pee, move! - I hissed, not waiting for an answer and rushed looking for the bathroom....

The room was huge, like terribly huge. I almost lost it, till I saw a marble floor behind one of the wood decorated walls. I did my job, and went back to bed. Since Mr. Ladie's boy was rich I was gonna let him be and spoil myself. 

"I deserve some quality me time after this hectic week!"

I jumped back in and he hugged me again. Lying his head on my shoulder.

  - I am not a pillow!

  - Why not, you are plump. - his sleepy voice was deep and actually sounded good.

"Did he just?"

  - I am sorry... - I was fed up and started to get up.

  - Shush... I didn't meant it that way... Stay... - he growl the last one.

I layed back and he hugged me again. Fixing half his body on me.

  - Are you hungry? - he mumbled half asleep.

  - Always! 

He shifted and I felt his hand moving the hair off my face. I felt his lips so close to my cheek... Then his phone rang. 

He put his hand on the bed, so he could get up more and reached for his phone. He had this odd red shaped tattoo on his hand. He sat on me grabbing his phone. I lied on my back, trying to wake up. To get rid of the dizziness. He sat comfortably on me, fixing his posituon while using my gello belly as a holder. In just a seconds I heard him yelling on the phone on some other language. His voice sounded familiar, till I finally looked up to him...

... It was the green haired pale and heavy tattooed Clown Prince of Crime. He proceed to talk, I didn't understand, but by the way he talked it looked like he was explaining something. His voice was low and stern. 

Don't know why but he sounded so hot. Half naked, sitting on top of me... I had sex with him least night, it finally hit me... 

He looked at me, while nodding his head, winked at me. I awkwardly smiled. He then hang up and lied on top of me. 

  - Want breakfast, fluffy?

I blinked several times staring at the celing, trying not to cry. I was both impassioned and intimidated.

"What have I involved myself into?"

*

I got out of my trans by his voice, he was asking if I was hungry.

  - You hungry, little bear?

  - Am... Maybe, why not... - I had no idea what to say. If I say 'no' he might get offended, if I say 'yes' he might have fun of me, for having too much breakfasts in my life. - Yes, maybe something light.

  - Like you?

  - Ha... - my heart skipped several beats.

  - You were my light breakfast this morning... - he growled - I am starving! - he got up of me, slapping my thigh and walked to the door. - Jump jump, cupcake, food won't drag itself! 

I covered myself with the first piece of clothing I saw and run after him. 'Being sort sucks' - I thought after running and triping in the long sheet.

He entered a huge kitchen and I slowly followed. He opened the fridge and got some stuff out. 

  - Toasts with avocado?

  - Can I have them with butter... Please?

  - Help yourself ... - he pointed at the open fridge. 

This thing was stashed for the end of the world. I picked the butter and some jam. As the toasts were ready he put 2 for me too, and prepared his. Poured himself some juice. I prepared my breakfast too and got a cup of juice as well. He led me to a huge couch on the balcony. It was around noon. There were huge curly clouds moving around the sky. My stomach was growling. This wasn't enough, I didn't had dinner, only light lunch... Then I went to the club with... 

  - Shit... My friend! Do you... - I turned towards him, he was just biting his toast, his hair was in the mashed avocado as well. - Did you... by any chance saw my friend... Last night, at the bar? 

  - Hmmh. - he mumbler while chewing and shaked his head for a 'no'. 

  - Damn... She must be worried.

  - Feel free to do what you want, after breakfast! - he said the last one with a low voice. Obviously he wasn't pleased I interrupted the feeding with myself. 

  - Excuses me! - I mumbled and finished my juice. My stomach growled again.

  - You can have more, if you want. - he said looking at the clouds, then scribed the avocado off his hair.

  - No thanks, my stomach is just... Slow with processing the food, it still thinks I am hungry... - I nervously joked. 

  - Aha... - he said still not looking at me. 

  - You have a nice place... - I tried to start a conversation.

  - I hate pointless conversations! - he cut me off. - If you want to say something, say it, otherwise pack your shit and leave! - he almost yelled, looking furiously at me. 

  - I would like to look at the clouds a little longer ... If it's possible. - I tried to calm my voice from shaking while I said this.

  - Of couse you can, they are horgeous this morning. - he got up and took the plates inside. 

I was left outside, I have no idea how long I stayed, I even cried a little bit. I was so scared and confused... 

'OMG... How did I end up here... Did he drugged me... Did he... Raped me... Will I be able to go home, will he kill me... Worse, will he claim me... '

I heard a noise from the inside, a man approached me. I was fast to wipe my tears.

  - Miss, Mr. J would like to see you now, please come with me.

  - Of course. - I left the blanket I had used to cover myself and followed the man. 

He brought me back to the big bedroom and left me inside, closing the door after me. 

  - Finally, you are here! - he was fully clothed, approaching me with open arms... - What is it fluff... What? Are you crying... Ha? - there was a madness in his eyes. - Lie to me and I will kill you! - he said putting his hand on my throat, squeezing me lightly, to show he wasn't joking.

  - I...  - he loosened his grip - I was kinda scared. - I said as fast as I could.

  - Why? - he waved both his hands. - I had breakfast with you... Were I rude?

I nod my head 'no'.

  - Use your words! - he roared at me.

  - No... You weren't rude.

  - Did I offend you?

  - No you didn't... You were actually quite nice with me.

  - So? - he frowned his non existing eyebrows.

  - Well... I guess I was mislead by the popular opinion.

  - Well... They are right! - he laughed hysterically. - Have your shit and leave! - he turned his back on me.

I quickly got dressed and grabbed my stuff. 

  - No! - he got my feather necklace, I will keep this, I like it. 

I handed it to him. He nod a gratitude and I smiled. 

  - Should I be worried?

  - Should you? - he mocked me, tilting his head. The lack of amusement in my looks turned him to being serious again. - I guess not. 

It was odd, but there was something in him, something like my favorite character, something nice in the monster.

  - I am free for breakfasts... - I said before having the chance to think it through.

'Oh my God!'

He looked back at me, and smiled lightly. Like a trapper who just spot his pray.

  - I will have you in mind!

The same man who brought me into the bedroom escorted me to a black SUV and drove me back into the city, to a deserted part. 3 blocks away I got the public transport and arrived home. It was bizarre experience, that I will probably won't forget, but that fact that I said I am free for breakfasts, was definitely gonna haunt me... This way he will definitely come for me... 

'We all know how Harley end up... This was beyond ridiculous... Why I said this... Why I am so stupid... Why I need to save them all... He is a monster... Silly me!' 

I hit my head with my palm. And sat down on the small bed. I cried for a while longer and then took a shower. After this all I decided to call my friend. The bitch didn't even realized I was gone, she thought I got bored and went home! What a nice fiends I have indeed.

Two weeks later I went to the bank to beg for another loan. While waiting I thought of him. Oddly but I haven't had such a chill breakfast with anyone, all the men in my life were mostly unsatisfied with my looks, it was just one night stand and that's all. He didn't even remarked it. And the guy is build like a freaking God!

My loan was denied, and silly me, in a moment of need, decided to go to him... Breakfast buddy. I dressed to impress, with maroon dress, my leaf earrings that match the nickles I left with him. I was allowed in his club, which was actually a miracle, and I went mingling. Some men approached me, but when I politely said I wasn't interested they left.

' Is this the fucking Haven or something? Why aren't we aware of this? ' 

I stopped at the bar. 

  - Hey... Why are every one so polite? - I asked the bartender.

  - Mr. J doesn't like when men are disrespectful towards women.

  - Oh... Can I have a glass of red wine, Merlot please. 

The pretty blond gave me the glass, I paied a small fortune and proceed walking around. I finally saw him lying upside down on a golden couch. With lots of fluffy scarfs, these that strippers have. His shirt almost fully unbuttoned and his mind was visibly somewhere else. 

I walked around, didn't wanted to push it. I was already nervious enough. I made a small walk around the club. I approached his, obviously vip area, and since no one stopped me I went to him.

  - Hey... - nothing - Hello! - Nada, again. I sat down and turned my head a little upside down. - Hello in there. - he finally blinked.

  - Oh... Hi! - his reply was so casual, like we were friends for years and we were just talking before he went where he was.

  - Was it cool? - he frowned his 'cureently on permanent vacation' eyebrows. - Where you were. Was it cool? - I got up and stand in front of him.

He ruffled his hair and sat down. 

  - Are you hungry again? - he looked at me, he was reading me like a book. 

  - Maybe... - I smiled. 

  - Give me 5 min. - he got up and headed to another private boot with closed curtains. 

3 gunshots echoed, no one bothered, not even the music stopped. He came out. Handing the gun to the same man from previously, and getting a towel of him. He wiped his hands, and got a jacket. 

  - Shall we! - he pointed me the direction we were supposed to walk. 

  - Was this blood on your hands?

  - Do you really want to know? - he hissed in my ear.

  - I have... I get sick of the sight of blood.

  - Then don't... - he was obviously pisses but calmed himself breathing in and out several times. - Yes it was. Any more questions?

  - I don't wanna see this! - I walked faster ahead of him.

  - This wasn't a question! - he yelled after me laughing.

  - I regret my first question! 

  - Why are you dressed like a prostitute?

  - I am not... - I protested.

  - Really? - he raised his non existing eyebrow again.

  - OK, I might be just a little bit.. - he laughed - How you do this... Like moving only one eyebrow?

  - If you are a good girl, Daddy will show you!

  - Awwww... - I squealed, we both laughed. 

We exit the club by a secret exit or something like it. We sat in a black SUV and the driver started the car.

  - So ... - he leaned closer - You didn't answered my question.

  - Which one? - I blushed. I expected inappropriate question or sex related suggestion.

  - Why are you dressed like this? You are not a girl like this...

  - I needed to get in, and why do you think I am not... A girl like this?

  - You blush! Sluts, hookers and other nasty women don't blush.

  - OK, I agree here. - I laughed.

We spend the ride in silence. He drove me to the same place out of town. He exit the car and held his hand for me to exit as well. 

  - I have some things to do... You remember where the kitchen is. Eat as you please and as much as you want. - he waved at me.

  - What will you do... - while I was asking I saw the man nod a 'no' but I couldn't shut up in time. 

The Joker turned back at me. In 2 steps he was in front of me, pushed me against the car and rawred.

  - Don't ask questions that doesn't want to know the answer of... Otherwise I will show it to you... Bizarre and vivid... And bloody!

  - OK... OK! I am sorry. 

  - Get lost! - he yelled and pushes me towards the man. - Frost... - he pinched the bridge of his nose - Make sure she will eat and then led her to her bedroom. And please, explain to her, if I see her out of the room, I will rape her and break her arms, then her legs... And then, I will allow her to die. Got it! - he explained this so casually. My mind didn't had the opportunity to process all of this.

  - Yes, boss!

The man led me to the kitchen. Waited till I eat my sandwich. Although my hands were shaking. The thought of rape freaked me out. I wasn't that scared of broken bones. This was a fear my mother planted in me as a child. Almost nothing in the world freaked me this much. The man then led me to a room, it wasn't the one I was in the precious time. He unlocked the door and after pushed me in handed me the key.

  - Don't worry, little girl, you will be safe as long as you stay in. Regardless of what you hear outside stay in. If he needs you he will ask for your presence. - he then proceed closing the door. - No need to lock the door. No one else will come to you... Our punishment for any thoughts of this sort will be way worse.

  - Is this... Even possible?

  - Everything is possible with the Joker. - he closed the door. 

I was alone in the dark cold room.

I couldn't fall asleep, tossing and turning, and suddenly it was morning already. I got up, get a shower and get dressed. In the wardrobe there were several clothes, mostly casual. I tried to check my phone, but the sugnal was blocked. Couldn't even open my damn farm game.

4 hours later someone knocked on the door and informed me I am being expected for breakfast. It was the same man as I opened the door. He led me to the kitchen and left me there. A very displeased Joker was sitting on the huge couch. The fridge door was open, there was food scattered everywhere. Some bullet wholes in the wall and the balcony glass door was broken. 

  - Come... - he said in a low tone. 

I obeyed and sat next to him. He slid a plate my direction. It was guacamole and some kids snack. I got a fish shaped one and dropped it in the sauce. It looked fun, so I laughed.

  - I think I drowned the fish! - I started laughing. No idea what was I supposed to do in general. But at the time this sounded as a good idea. He started laughing too and throw an elephant in.

  - Chill he will save it. - we both laughed. 

For the next several minutes we laughed without a particular reason, my eyes even got teary. 

I got the elephant and ate it, then the fish.

  - It is nice. I haven't tried it before and kinda expected it to taste gross.

  -  Well... Surprise! - he said, rubbing his hands in his pants.

One strand of hair was falling on his face. And I reached to fix it. He was quick to grab my hand.

  - Don't... You need a permission to do so. - he smiled wildly and let my hand go.

  - OK... Do you want to try... To drown a fish or something. 

He got a cat or a tiger and threw it in. 

  - If it's a tiger it will swim... well I believe this is more like a swamp. - he poked the cat in - That's it, we lost it...

  - Time of death?

  - Time of death... - he pretended to look at his non existing watch - Time of death, who cares! - he laughed again, this creepy laugh of his. He threw some more cats inside then he threw one in the air and catched it. - Wanna try? 

  - Oh no... I will probably choke on it and die, I am very clumsy.

  - Are you shy?

  - No... I just know my weak spots.

  - Come on I will give you an easy one. 

He threw one at me, I tried but it hit my nose and fell somewhere under the furniture. He smiled and threw another one, this time he hit my eye, I whined and the fish swam under the couch pillow. He threw another one I caught it but when I tilted my head down it fell off my mouth.

  - Mmmhmm - he growled twitching his face. - You are a hopeless case. He got up and threw the package in the table.

  - Told you.

  - Here! - he got a fish out and squeezed my cheeks, shoving it in. - Now close your damn mouth and chew! - he ordered and I obayed.

  - Yay! - I raised my hands in the air. 

  - Yeah, finally... - he said obviously annoyed. - What are you doing?

  - Looking for the fallen ones. - I said while moving the pillows.

  - Leave them, there is a person who cleans here!

  - Well I... 

  - You what? - he yelled.

  - I prefer to clean after the mess I made myself. - I said already regretting the words that came out my mouth.

He looked at me and nod his head.

  - You have 10min. 

For the short time I got, I managed to find all of the escapies. Even ate the stuck in guacamole ones. I got it in the fridge and finally closed the door. Although half of the stuff were melted, maybe some were went bad already, since I had no idea how long the door stayed open. We spend like solid hour and something "breakfasting". As I was done I followed him in his room, he took a shower and we went to bed. He positioned me on my stomach and lyed his head on my shoulder. Till I decide to weather joke about being a pillow or not he was already sleeping.

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