#if i had a dollar for every time i find a cool artist on tumblr that i originally found on twitter i’d have two dollars | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mxvladdy · 4 years ago

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Hi! just finished reading your Tumblr request on AO3 and I just looooove your writing ;; if it's not a problem I wanted to ask how you imagine that Lucifer, Mammon and Beel would react to a MC who is usually very quiet and not very expressive, impossible to embarrass or make nervous, to suddenly, one day manage to make her blush for the first time (Also, English is not my first language, so I hope this is okey) I wish you a lovely week ❤

A/N: This is adorable! Sorry for the slow turn around, I hope you enjoy!❤

Lucifer

Stoicism is something he normally finds very attractive in a woman. To be able to keep such a level of calm outlook during even times that might even shake him. He loves the idea of a power couple, and the way you hold yourself. You definitely make one.

It does grate him that he can’t fluster you like you do him, especially during your time together in private. He tries multiple ways to even just draw some color to your cheeks. Flowers in the classroom, hand written invitations to private dining establishments and venues, he even went to the human realm just to find some kind of familiar comfort to give to you. You love them all he knows but he wants, craves to see an uninhibited reaction from you. He’ll get it one day, his pride depends on it at this point.

Luck graces him one evening after a hellish work day. A fight in the school yard leading to property damage he had to do extra paper work for. The only saving grace of that was it wasn’t one of his brothers, this time. Only followed soon after by a report of yet another racket engineered by Mammon. Then, to top off a horrible day one of Belphie and Satan’s little “pranks” blew up half his office.

All his loose or unprotected paperwork, gone. Nothing but smoldering bits of ash. He was now more than ever thankful to have you by his side. Before he could get his hands on the two you stepped in shooing him away to deal with the other fires that needed to be put out while you handled his office.

Things got done, in record time for once. He was able to rewrite his notes for the next council meeting, but at the cost of your weekday dinner together. A pity, but he knew you understood. Trudging up to his room he looked forward to perhaps a few hours of sleep before the next crisis struck. Then he found you.

He chuckles to himself quietly leaning against his door frame. You had beaten him to his favorite resting roost. You sat on his favorite armchair, rolled up tight in his comforter. All he could see was a tuft of hair and the very tip of your nose. Beautiful as always, but he wanted to rest. Well-two birds, one stone and all…

He scoops you up envious of how deeply you could slumber and places you on his lap. Kicking off his shoes he sighs blissfully before resting his head back on worn leather.

Mini fic

You didn’t expect to see Lucifer tonight. Today has been the absolute definition of a shit show, on nights like these it wasn’t uncommon for you not to see him at all. You would normally place your bets on him being unconscious at his desk. Though, he couldn’t really do that tonight. You pat yourself on the back mentally knowing that he would be pleased with the work you and the brothers did cleaning up his office. While you couldn’t get them to apologize to Lucifer you at least got them to clean up what was salvageable in his study.

After a few hours of cleaning his office was back in working order and your feet were screaming for a break. Bidding the two miscreants farewell and making them promise to hold off on the pranks for at least a week you let your body lead you to Lucifer’s room. The room was how you left it that morning. Your slippers next to his by the door and your robe tossed haphazardly on his linen sheets. You make a beeline for the only piece of furniture Lucifer loved dearly. How many nights had you snuck in only to see him melting into the old chain. His long legs sprawled out and tangled in his foot rest, while his body sinks into the imprints he has left from years of use like a lover's embrace.

Yanking the thin comforter from his bed you curl into the divots with a yawn. Before you know it your eyes close and the crackling of the fireplace lulls you to sleep. You awake with a jolt, confused and disoriented for a moment before your sleepy brain catches up. You fell asleep alone on the soft leather but woke to something unyielding beneath you now.

Lucifer sits underneath you snoring softly. His arms rest around your blanketed body. His head tilts down over you, his nose tickling your hairline. Like always he sports a mild look of annoyance. His lips were drawn in a scowl, brows crinkling in displease. You could tell his jaw was tense even while he slept.

Freeing your arms from your cocoon you reach up from him moving to cup his twitching jaw. With practiced ease you began to message the pin joints. You smile to yourself moving down to his tense neck and shoulders. This had become a nightly ritual for you when you shared a bed. When you knew he was asleep you would start trying to work away some of his tension from the previous day. You swear in the morning that he looks better on the nights you get the chance to.

This was your little secret though. You couldn’t bear the thought of him knowing you did this. Not that you thought he would disapprove. Lucifer appreciated acts of service, but just the thought of him knowing made your whole body heat in a flush. You push the thoughts away focusing instead on the extremely tight muscles underneath his brow line. It amazed you that he didn’t have any wrinkles after all this.

So engrossed in your perusal of his features you didn’t notice him stirring till his warm palm traps your hand to his cheek. Before you realize it his lips push a firm kiss into the flesh of your palm. Scarlet eyes meet yours crinkling around the edges. They were warm and radiant. “You’re blushing.” His voice was deep and husky from what little sleep he got.

“What?” You stammer.

Lucifer leans in tapping his forehead on yours. He studies your wide eyes and pink face for a moment before cracking a smug grin. “I’ve never seen you flustered before. Your blush looks good on you.”

“You caught me off guard.” He nods, kissing the tip of your nose tenderly taking impish glee in your squirming.

“Good-I will strive to do so more often. I wish to see you as undone as you make me.”

Mammon

Stoic MC? Rare pair? Rare pair. Mammon wears his heart on his sleeve. Nothing about him is slick. From week one everyone knew he had it bad for you. He is so open with his affections whether he likes it or not. Unlike you.

Honestly, how were you always so controlled. Ain’t the dame supposed to be all blushy and giggly too? It-it makes him think he isn’t doing something right. Is he not treating you right? Were you unhappy?

So he goes to do what he does best. Scheme. There has to be someway to crack that stoic disposition of yours. He gets clingy-well clingier now. He starts springing random vacations on you. Expect to skip class whenever he thinks he won’t get skinned alive for it.

He’ll take you anywhere all his internet research tells him to. Black sand beaches, crowded boardwalks to see the lights, deserted hiking trails late in the evening to watch the fireflies. He is sure it will work. But nope, nada. You love every moment of it and show him with a soul searing kiss and sweet words of praise. But damn you if you aren’t always so cool about it.

He is about to throw in the towel when he finally gets what he wants. At work no less. It was completely by accident but he isn’t one to complain. Perhaps he should go to work more often.

Mini Fic

“Pucker up!” Mammon’s make-up artist orders, squeezing his cheeks between her thumb and forefinger. “And for Diavolo’s sake put your phone down.”

“Shove off Cazzin.” Mammon sputters around the sour tasting lip stain and plumper. His eyes still glued to his screen. His freshly done nails swiping at picture after picture of fancy hotels and spas. Just thinking about taking you a private spring got his blood boiling in the best ways.

“Woooow.” Cazz whistles through her fangs looking at his screen. “Who is the lucky lady you are trying to impress this time?

“Mammon bristles, shooting her a murderous glance. The smaller demon blanches, purple skin turning ashy with fear. Her eyes drop to the floor immediately in submission, a sincere apology falling from her lips. “My girlfriend.” He says finally after cooling down. “I’m-I’m trying to impress her or something.”

“Well, pretty sure with a price tag like that anyone would be impressed.” Mammon only grunts barely glancing at the excessive amount of zeros on the page. Any other girl he knew would be a blushing mess after getting a gift like this. Hells, even Cazz was eyeing the site with open envy and excitement. Yet, this wasn’t the first time he had done something like this with you. Every time he did all he got was a blisteringly radiant smile and kisses that probably could send him back to heaven if he didn’t have a life long ban there. Not that that was a bad thing...but he just wanted more.

“You would think so…” He trails off clicking his phone off to focus on the rest of his routine. No sooner had his hair and make-up artist finished then his director was stomping and shouting down the hall for him to get his ass on set. Grimacing Mammon slides off his seat stretching to spare himself a few more seconds of peace. He stops at the door taking one last look at his get up for this shoot.

Damn, he looks good. It was time for a new spring collection, but more importantly, his most popular season. The light spring colors always brought out his best features. The pastel cotton shirt they “fashionably” threw him in hung casually around his frame. Buttons “tastefully” undone to show the smooth planes of his freely waxed and oiled skin. The linen board shorts and finishing touch of leather sandals gave him the perfect beach vibe. At top dollar mind you.

Hmmm-perhaps he could borrow this outfit for your next beach outing.

Unable to tone out his bosses shouting anymore Mammon makes his way to set. He thinks hard on what else he can go or take you to impress you, ignoring the poking and prodding of his camera men and set designers. His partners today, two incubus twins stood sourly next to him. They had been at this for hours and even he was ready for a break from the sweltering heat of the lights.

“Alright! Alright!” The director broke an hour later tired of the twins whining. He throws his hands in the air in exasperation. “We’ll break for an hour for lunch- lost the light as is.” He huffs stumping off for a smoke break.

“Finally,” Mammon sighs from his pose on the ground. “Think I got sand in my ass.” He gets up from the ground grimacing as he tries to brush the grit off his legs. “Shit starts to burn when they get hot.” One of the twins nods looking down at their own arms. Tiny burn marks showing on their fair skin, they will heal by the time the shoot resumes, doesn’t mean they will be happy about it.

“Want to grab lunch?” The twins ask tossing him a towel to blot at his sweating brow. “New food truck is coming in today.” Mammon shakes his head. You had packed him something to eat this morning and he kind of wanted to enjoy it in peace for once.

Waving the two off he hurries back to his room already salivating at whatever tasty food you got him. Halfway to the door he stops, the fine hairs on his neck standing up. Someone was in his dressing room. Devil’s please don’t let it be another rabid fan. He pleads before creeping forward to check. Whoever it was left the door ajar, peaking in he stares enraptured.

When did you get here? It wasn’t abnormal for you to just drop by while he was working, but you usually waited for him on set behind the cameras. You sit humming to yourself reading something on your lap, feet kicking out innocently while you wait for him. Flipping a page he gets a glimpse of what you’re reading. His feathers ruffle in satisfaction. He had plans on showing you these shots before their release date. They still needed approval from his director but he knew they were great. You flip through shot after shot humming or nodding at some. One shot makes you stop fully, eyes growing wide.

Mammon snorts to himself, knowing exactly which photo you stopped on. The next issue was focusing on “Elegance in the work space”, whatever that means. His designer for the projects went a little overboard with the cuts and designs of the business suites he was to model. The sketches and drafts she had thrust at him had made his head spin. They were all amazing in his opinion, but one had been killer, everyone had agreed on that. If he didn’t know any better he was certain that it would put him on the cover. By the way you were looking at it, he was hoping it would.

That suit really complimented all of his features. It was form fitting accenting his slim waist but hid the slight sloping of his shoulders. The gold of the threading of his vest was done up in soft floral patterns that popped against the dark navy blue of the suit's fabric. The dark blue really brought out the lightness of his eyes. The look was topped off with a bright yellow silk pocket square, polished leather wingtips and gold cufflinks. He was about to interrupt you when he saw it, that one thing he wanted more than anything.

The pink starts at your ears swiping across the bridge of your nose before blooming on your round cheeks. It was breathtaking. Thinking he was being sneaky, Mammon whips out his phone for a quick picture, no one would believe him unless he had solid evidence. But the flash gives him away.

“Mammon!” You jump caught, hands flying to cover your warm face.

“Oi! None of that!” Mammon moves quickly snatching your hands away from your face beaming. “I’ve been waiting for ages to see this face on ya, an’ all it took was a picture of me?”

“You- you clean up really nicely, Mammon.” His hearts flutter at your soft admission.

“Huh,” Mammon scratches his neck, feeling his own blush coming forth. “Well- I mean I could do that more often, so long as you keep looking at me like this when I do.” He picks up the stack of photos from the floor where you dropped them in surprise. “Ya know- I still got that suit.”

Your face turns molten- oh he was going to have a field day with this.

Beelzebub

Doesn’t even notice at first. He is kind of the same way with expressing himself too- unless food is involved. So if you are content then he is content, so who cares if you don’t show it on your face?

Well- he didn’t care, until Belphie brought it up. His twin didn’t mean anything by it; he knew that, but it made him wonder. He trusts you when you say you are happy, you have no reason to lie to him. But date nights, game nights, and family dinners you were always so impassive.

It makes him wonder, not enough to ask you though. Truthfully, he is a little embarrassed that he can’t read you as you do him. He won’t force it like his brothers might. He is patient and hopes one day it will just come naturally like it does for him around you.

Mini Fic

Beel watches you over his lunch. You two were silent as you ate, but that was to be expected on days like these. The school cafe was packed with students all jockeying to get a place in line for today’s special. He had gotten there early for the both of you to gap a few of the specials and sides before they were gone. “Are you ok?” He puts his fork down leaning in close to speak to you across the small table. It creaks dangerously under the weight of his elbows on it. You look up from your tea mug. He smiles at your perpetually mild expression, your eyes were hard but your lips and brows were relaxed giving away nothing.

“Of course.” You smile up at him, face smooth and controlled. “Just excited about tonight.”

Hmph, could have fooled him. Beel leans back, studying you intently. He hopes you were as excited as he was for tonight. A new arcade had opened on the edge of town last week and he thought it would be a great date night for the two of you. He had expressed to you on several occasions how he was looking forward to the roller rink and the hoop games. You seemed eager, giving him a closed lip grin every time he brought it up. “Me too.” Beel says finally turning back to his food. “Think we will win any prizes?”

You snort dismissively. “Us? The dream team? I would be surprised if we didn’t win something. Have you seen the plushies?” You pull out your phone and show him their Devilgram. “I want to try and get the hydra one…” You prattle on and scroll through all the cute prizes on their site. He nods along taking a mental note of all the ones that you pointed at, determined to get each and every one for you.

School goes by quickly, far too quickly for him. Each tick of the clock caught him by surprise, jacking his nerves up more and more. It wasn’t like it was his first date with you, but it never stopped the butterflies from starting in his stomach. After school he changes quickly and waits for you by your bedroom door. He fiddles with the zipper of his jacket until you finally open your door.

“Ready?” The smile you throw up at him is breathtaking. “Hope you don’t mind my get up. You mentioned a roller ring so I figured something sporty and functional would be appropriate.” You kick out a leg waving a hand over your bright sport leggings.

Beel chuckles offering you his large hand. “You look adorable as always.”

Being with you was as easy as breathing to him now. After all your time together in the house getting to know you you became one of his closest friends, even before you started dating. You shared many of his interests and wasn’t afraid to argue your point if you saw fit. You fill the train ride to the arcade with idle chatter, goofy selfies to send to his siblings, and annoying the other passengers with your ill-contained chuckles.

The place itself was packed but well spread out to handle the massive throngs of demons and beasts coming for drinks and a good time. “Come on!” You shout over the other very drunk and very loud customers tugging at his sleeve. “Let’s get some coins and find an empty station.” He lets you lead. You take full advantage of his impressive frame to part the crowds around you as you hunt for a free spot. “See anything?”

Beel peers over the heads of most of the demons and looks out. In the far corner sat a few jump rope games that were free. “Stay close.” He murmurs in your ear wrapping a protective arm your shoulders so you wouldn’t be swept away in the flow of the crowd. The games were...hard. Mentally Beel kicks himself. Of course an arcade in the Devildom wouldn’t be geared for humans. They were built for demons' fast reflexes and inhuman strength. You were a good sport about it though, cheering him on when the games began to move too fast for your senses. If a game broke in his zeal to get you tickets, well you were both fast walkers.

“Think we have enough?” Beelzebub asks hours later around a popsicle. His jacket pockets bulge with multicolored tickets screaming to be spent.

You hum around a scoop of ice cream. “Possibly-” Your eyes flick to the prize booth. “And extra, you want a plushie too?” He shrugs. No doubt the moment it got into his room Belphie will steal it to add to his horde.

You end up getting your stuffed hydra and a giant fuzzy minotaur to keep it “company”. You clutch them close to your chest, seemingly happy with your bounties. After that you spend a bit at the roller ring before you finally had to call it a night. Exhausted you lag behind Beel as you make your way back to the train station, feet dragging with each step.

Wordlessly, Beel stops just in front of you. “Here,” He squats, offering you his back, arms stretched out behind him. “I can take us the rest of the way to the stop.” He feels you hesitate for a moment before climbing on to his back.

“Thank you.” He thinks nothing of how soft your voice was, just barely a tickle at the base of his neck. Beel treks one once you are secure, stuffing his hands in his pockets to lock you in place. The rest of the walk was quiet but he didn’t mind it, your warm body and soft breathing in his ear was a comfort.

He stops at the benches with a few minutes to spare before your train. “We are here. Do you want-” He gasps quietly, cutting himself off before he could accidentally wake you. You sleep on unperturbed by his voice. Your hold on around his neck was tight, your head buried in his neck.

It seems only when you're sleeping do you let your guard down. A blush sweeps across your face, your lips pulled up into a serene smile. You looked-happy. Happy in a way he never saw before. He won’t say anything about it, he decides. He’ll cherish this tiny expression all the same. Perhaps one day he’ll see when you're awake too.

#Request #om beelzebub #om lucifer #om mammon #im slowly cranking them out!!!#obey me shall we date

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raevenlywrites · 3 years ago

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Things I have legitimately thought about paying for on tumblr in the past:

A NSFW account. I would pay to see the tiddies (and more importantly, pay to support NSFW artists and sex workers and keep them around. I want an uncensored internet damnit. I'm an adult and I'm willing to pay for an adult space)

An unlimited asks option: tumblr gave me that for free so cool I guess, but back when you could only send 10 per hr I thought over and over again how badly I would pay like a $5/mo subscription free to not have to put up with that crap

USEABLE. SEARCH. TERMS. omfg. I've never thought about HOW I'd monetize it but every time I try to search for something I KNOW is on my fucking blog I find myself praying to all gods including the almighty dollar (this is more like I'd pay to make tumblr a functioning website rather than a subscription. Like, if tumblr had a bake sale to raise money to hire an actual coder or whatever this hellsite needs to get right with itself)

Links/Pages that work on mobile: There is like, NO way to organize your blog for mobile, at least not that I've found. This thought is more like "I would pay someone to set this up for me" ie, actually paying for a custom theme, but ONLY if it worked on both desktop AND mobile. I post a lot of crap, and I'd love a way to showcase my original stuff while still being able to be a hot mess on main

#raev rambles

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silentauroriamthereal · 4 years ago

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5,900 followers!

So! I’ve been on tumblr since about August 2013 now. I had been away from fandom in general for a solid 3-4 years by that point, having left the Harry Potter fandom after a good deal of waning interest, which was definitely accelerated by basically everything about JKR (and this was before she outed herself as a major TERF) - adding to the canon with random shit she would say in interviews, etc, the whole “Dumbledore is gay” - but not in actual canon, including not making it canon in the movies that came after, etc. When I left the HP fandom, fandom in general was still very much on livejournal, though due to endless issues with LJ, people had already started drifting off to other platforms, which led to a widespread sensation of the fandom breaking up. My offline life got busy, I started my masters, and just didn’t have either the time or the interest in writing HP fanfic anymore. I had written 1.5 million words of fic and figured I was about out of words, anyway. My longtime friend, @moonflower-rose, had designed me an icon with the Latin phrase cacoethes scribendi, which basically means an endless mania for writing. I had started to feel that I wasn’t living up to that anymore, too, so I just quietly disappeared.

Fast forward to 2013 and my encountering the ridiculous talents of Benedict Cumberbatch via Star Trek Into Darkness (still think that title needs a colon, but what can you do) and immediately needing to see everything else he’d ever done. I’d heard of Sherlock in my last, lingering days on LJ, but hadn’t decided to delve into it at all. At this point, only series 1 and 2 were out, though setlock photos for series 3 started emerging just after I plunged wholeheartedly into the Sherlock fandom. I was hooked immediately by Ben and Martin’s acting, by the interesting stories (though I was irked from the beginning of the treatment of Irene Adler and the imposition of a hetero-ized romance of two obviously (one canonically!) gay characters). I was irked by the lazy writing and easy outs that Moffat and Gatiss always seem to prefer. Nevertheless, I was only about halfway through The Reichenbach Fall when I was seized with a feeling that was half sinking and half elated: that I needed to write about these two people. The old urge had come back, and it came back hard.

Now, a little over six years later, I’m over 2.3 million words deep into this fandom, with 88 posted stories and another that’s over 16,000 words in at this point. And the place where I re-found fandom and all of the community that comes with it, was here. It’s still astounding to me that anyone reads my stories. It’s astounding to me that 5,900 of you follow me. It’s really, really cool. :)

I used to make a post like this about every 100 new followers, but I’ve sort of slacked off it lately. If you’ve been following me for a long time, this will be repetitive and I’m sorry! But here goes:

-I generally follow everyone back, with the rider that, if the blog posts too much untagged content that I’m not interested in and can’t filter out because of the lack of tags, I’ll unfollow, just because that’s a lot of blogs. Sometimes tumblr doesn’t show me who followed me. If you’re following me and I’m not following you back and you wish I were, please, please, please just drop me a line and say so and I’ll fix it!

-I post my stories at ao3. I have not imported my HP stuff and have no desire to do so. You can still find it at skyehawke.com. As long as skyehawke is still up and running, I will leave my HP stories there. Meanwhile, my Sherlock stuff is all posted here at ao3.

-if you’re someone who has the means to support writers and artists in the fandom and that’s something you’re interested in doing, I do have a Patreon account. It’s over here. I always feel intensely squirmy about promoting this and only have it because @ravenmorganleigh made me get it (bless, lol). As a person who is perpetually struggling to make ends meet, I feel badly because I can never afford to support anyone else financially (every month that I make the rent is a win, basically). The donations people make through my Patreon have often meant the difference between being able to buy groceries or not. I don’t mean to be dramatic about this, but that’s literally the case, and I’m endlessly, endlessly grateful to every single dollar anyone has ever donated. But please don’t ever feel that you need to do this and please don’t if it isn’t something you can afford! I mean that. Also, my Patreon is set up for monthly contributions, and if you’re just dying to make a donation but want it to be a one-time thing, I also use PayPal, via my fandom email account, which is [email protected].

I’ve met some of the most amazing people here in this place and I’m very glad that I chose to come back to fandom, to find my own creative voice again, to have this chance to discuss and share excitement or rage or humour, and to be a part of so many of your lives, in whatever small way. I always get introspective at this time of the year, since it’s not only about to be a new year, but my birthday is also right at the end of the year (it’s December 30th), so I always end up having Big Thoughts About Life in this window between Christmas at the end of the year. Today, this is my Big Thought: how grateful I am to have all of you, in whatever large or small way, in my life. <3333333333333333333333

#SA's long rambly Thoughts #fandom #sherlock #johnlock #5900 followers

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qqueenofhades · 5 years ago

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Could you expand a bit on the "death of expertise"? It's something I think about A LOT as an artist, because there are so many problems with people who think it isn't a real job, and the severe undercutting of prices that happens because people think hobbyists and professionals are the same. At the same time, I also really want people to feel free to be able to make art if they want, with no gatekeeping or elitism, and I usually spin myself in circles mentally thinking about it. So.

I have been secretly hoping someone would ask this question, nonny. Bless you. I have a lot (a LOT) of thoughts on this topic, which I will try to keep somewhat concise and presented in a semi-organized fashion, but yes.

I can mostly speak about this in regard to academia, especially the bad, bad, BAD takes in my field (history) that have dominated the news in recent weeks and which constitute most of the recent posts on my blog. (I know, I know, Old Man Yells At Cloud when attempting to educate the internet on actual history, but I gotta do SOMETHING.) But this isn’t a new phenemenon, and is linked to the avalanche of “fake news” that we’ve all heard about and experienced in the last few years, especially in the run-up and then after the election of You Know Who, who has made fake news his personal brand (if not in the way he thinks). It also has to do with the way Americans persistently misunderstand the concept of free speech as “I should be able to say whatever I want and nobody can correct or criticize me,” which ties into the poisonous extreme-libertarian ethos of “I can do what I want with no regard for others and nobody can correct me,” which has seeped its way into the American mainstream and is basically the center of the modern Republican party. (Basically: all for me, all the time, and caring about others is a weak liberal pussy thing to do.)

This, however, is not just an issue of partisan politics, because the left is just as guilty, even if its efforts take a different shape. One of the reason I got so utterly exasperated with strident online leftists, especially around primary season and the hardcore breed of Bernie Bros, is just that they don’t do anything except shout loud and incorrect information on the internet (and then transmogrify that into a twisted ideology of moral purity which makes a sin out of actually voting for a flawed candidate, even if the alternative is Donald Goddamn Trump). I can’t count how many people from both sides of the right/left divide get their political information from like-minded people on social media, and never bother to experience or verify or venture outside their comforting bubbles that will only provide them with “facts” that they already know. Social media has done a lot of good things, sure, but it’s also made it unprecedently easy to just say whatever insane bullshit you want, have it go viral, and then have you treated as an authority on the topic or someone whose voice “has to be included” out of some absurd principle of both-siderism. This is also a tenet of the mainstream corporate media: “both sides” have to be included, to create the illusion of “objectivity,” and to keep the largest number of paying subscribers happy. (Yes, of course this has deep, deep roots in the collapse of late-stage capitalism.) Even if one side is absolutely batshit crazy, the rules of this distorted social contract stipulate that their proposals and their flaws have to be treated as equal with the others, and if you point out that they are batshit crazy, you have to qualify with some criticism of the other side.

This is where you get white people posting “Neo-Nazis and Black Lives Matter are the same!!!1” on facebook. They are a) often racist, let’s be real, and b) have been force-fed a constant narrative where Both Sides Are Equally Bad. Even if one is a historical system of violent oppression that has made a good go at total racial and ethnic genocide and rests on hatred, and the other is the response to not just that but the centuries of systemic and small-scale racism that has been built up every day, the white people of the world insist on treating them as morally equivalent (related to a superior notion that Violence is Always Bad, which.... uh... have you even seen constant and overwhelming state-sponsored violence the West dishes out? But it’s only bad when the other side does it. Especially if those people can be at all labeled “fanatics.”)

I have complained many, many times, and will probably complain many times more, about how hard it is to deconstruct people’s absolutely ingrained ideas of history and the past. History is a very fragile thing; it’s really only equivalent to the length of a human lifespan, and sometimes not even that. It’s what people want to remember and what is convenient for them to remember, which is why we still have some living Holocaust survivors and yet a growing movement of Holocaust denial, among other extremist conspiracy theories (9/11, Sandy Hook, chemtrails, flat-earthing, etc etc). There is likewise no organized effort to teach honest history in Western public schools, not least since the West likes its self-appointed role as guardians of freedom and liberty and democracy in the world and doesn’t really want anyone digging into all that messy slavery and genocide and imperialism and colonialism business. As a result, you have deliberately under- or un-educated citizens, who have had a couple of courses on American/British/etc history in grade school focusing on the greatest-hit reel, and all from an overwhelmingly triumphalist white perspective. You have to like history, from what you get out of it in public school, to want to go on to study it as a career, while knowing that there are few jobs available, universities are cutting or shuttering humanities departments, and you’ll never make much money. There is... not a whole lot of outside incentive there.

I’ve written before about how the humanities are always the first targeted, and the first defunded, and the first to be labeled as “worthless degrees,” because a) they are less valuable to late-stage capitalism and its emphasis on Material Production, and b) they often focus on teaching students the critical thinking skills that critique and challenge that dominant system. There’s a reason that there is a stereotype of artists as social revolutionaries: they have often taken a look around, gone, “Hey, what the hell is this?” and tried to do something about it, because the creative and free-thinking impulse helps to cultivate the tools necessary to question what has become received and dominant wisdom. Of course, that can then be taken too far into the “I’ll create my own reality and reject absolutely everything that doesn’t fit that narrative,” and we end up at something like the current death of expertise.

This year is particularly fertile for these kinds of misinformation efforts: a plague without a vaccine or a known cure, an election year in a turbulently polarized country, race unrest in a deeply racist country spreading to other racist countries around the world and the challenging of a particularly important system (white supremacy), etc etc. People are scared and defensive and reactive, and in that case, they’re especially less motivated to challenge or want to encounter information that scares them. They need their pre-set beliefs to comfort them or provide steadiness in a rocky and uncertain world, and (thanks once again to social media) it’s easy to launch blistering ad hominem attacks on people who disagree with you, who are categorized as a faceless evil mass and who you will never have to meet or negotiate with in real life. This is the environment in which all the world’s distinguished scientists, who have spent decades studying infectious diseases, have to fight for airtime and authority (and often lose) over random conspiracy theorists who make a YouTube video. The public has been trained to see them as “both the same” and then accept which side they like the best, regardless of actual factual or real-world qualifications. They just assume the maniac on YouTube is just as trustworthy as the scientists with PhDs from real universities.

Obviously, academia is racist, elitist, classist, sexist, on and on. Most human institutions are. But training people to see all academics as the enemy is not the answer. You’ve seen the Online Left (tm) also do this constantly, where they attack “the establishment” for never talking about anything, or academics for supposedly erasing and covering up all of non-white history, while apparently never bothering to open a book or familiarize themselves with a single piece of research that actual historians are working on. You may have noticed that historians have been leading the charge against the “don’t erase history!!!1″ defenders of racist monuments, and explaining in stinging detail exactly why this is neither preserving history or being truthful about it. Tumblr likes to confuse the mechanism that has created the history and the people who are studying and analyzing that history, and lump them together as one mass of Evil And Lying To You. Academics are here because we want to critically examine the world and tell you things about it that our nonsense system has required years and years of effort, thousands of dollars in tuition, and other gatekeeping barriers to learn. You can just ask one of us. We’re here, we usually love to talk, and we’re a lot cheaper. I think that’s pretty cool.

As a historian, I have been trained in a certain skill set: finding, reading, analyzing, using, and criticizing primary sources, ditto for secondary sources, academic form and style, technical skills like languages, paleography, presentation, familiarity with the professional mechanisms for reviewing and sharing work (journals, conferences, peer review, etc), and how to assemble this all into an extended piece of work and to use it in conversation with other historians. That means my expertise in history outweighs some rando who rolls up with an unsourced or misleading Twitter thread. If a professor has been handed a carefully crafted essay and then a piece of paper scribbled with crayon, she is not obliged to treat them as essentially the same or having the same critical weight, even if the essay has flaws. One has made an effort to follow the rules of the game, and the other is... well, I did read a few like that when teaching undergraduates. They did not get the same grade.

This also means that my expertise is not universal. I might know something about adjacent subjects that I’ve also studied, like political science or English or whatever, but someone who is a career academic with a degree directly in that field will know more than me. I should listen to them, even if I should retain my independent ability and critical thinking skillset. And I definitely should not be listened to over people whose field of expertise is in a completely different realm. Take the recent rocket launch, for example. I’m guessing that nobody thought some bum who walked in off the street to Kennedy Space Center should be listened to in preference of the actual scientists with degrees and experience at NASA and knowledge of math and orbital mechanics and whatever else you need to get a rocket into orbit. I definitely can’t speak on that and I wouldn’t do it anyway, so it’s frustrating to see it happen with history. Everybody “knows” things about history that inevitably turn out to be wildly wrong, and seem to assume that they can do the same kind of job or state their conclusions with just as much authority. (Nobody seems to listen to the scientists on global warming or coronavirus either, because their information is actively inconvenient for our entrenched way of life and people don’t want to change.) Once again, my point here is not to be a snobbish elitist looking down at The Little People, but to remark that if there’s someone in a field who has, you know, actually studied that subject and is speaking from that place of authority, maybe we can do better than “well, I saw a YouTube video and liked it better, so there.” (Americans hate authority and don’t trust smart people, which is a related problem and goes back far beyond Trump, but there you are.)

As for art: it’s funny how people devalue it constantly until they need it to survive. Ask anyone how they spent their time in lockdown. Did they listen to music? Did they watch movies or TV? Did they read a book? Did they look at photography or pictures? Did they try to learn a skill, like drawing or writing or painting, and realize it was hard? Did they have a preference for the art that was better, more professionally produced, had more awareness of the rules of its craft, and therefore was more enjoyable to consume? If anyone wants to tell anyone that art is worthless, I invite you to challenge them on the spot to go without all of the above items during the (inevitable, at this rate) second coronavirus lockdown. No music. No films. No books. Not even a video or a meme or anything else that has been made for fun, for creativity, or anything outside the basic demands of Compensated Economic Production. It’s then that you’ll discover that, just as with the underpaid essential workers who suffered the most, we know these jobs need to get done. We just still don’t want to pay anyone fairly for doing them, due to our twisted late-capitalist idea of “value.”

Anyway, since this has gotten long enough and I should probably wrap up: as you say, the difference between “professional” and “hobbyist” has been almost completely erased, so that people think the opinion of one is as good as the other, or in your case, that the hobbyist should present their work for free or refuse to be seen as a professional entitled to fair compensation for their skill. That has larger and more insidious effects in a global marketplace of ideas that has been almost entirely reduced to who can say their opinion the loudest to the largest group of people. I don’t know how to solve this problem, but at least I can try to point it out and to avoid being part of it, and to recognize where I need to speak and where I need to shut up. My job, and that of every single white person in America right now, is to shut up and let black people (and Native people, and Latinx people, and Muslim people, and etc...) tell me what it’s really like to live here with that identity. I have obviously done a ton of research on the subject and consider myself reasonably educated, but here’s the thing: my expertise still doesn’t outweigh theirs, no matter what degrees they have or don’t have. I then am required to boost their ideas, views, experiences, and needs, rather than writing them over or erasing them, and to try to explain to people how the roots of these ideas interlock and interact where I can. That is -- hopefully -- putting my history expertise to use in a good way to support what they’re saying, rather than silence it. I try, at any rate, and I am constantly conscious of learning to do better.

I hope that was helpful for you. Thanks for letting me talk about it.

#history #long post #anonymous #ask

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oneweekoneband · 4 years ago

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I’m slightly nauseous already with knowing I’m going to say this, but what does “self-awareness” even mean? In modern parlance, as a descriptive phrase, as a comment on art? I’m asking in earnest, like, I’ve been Googling lately, which for me is basically on par with doctoral study in terms of academic rigor. The self is king, anyway, tyrant, so where is the line of distinction between material that intentionally is nodding at some truth about the artist’s life and what’s just, like, all the rest of the regular navel-gazing bullshit. I mean, I’m all self, I am guilty here. I can’t get it out of my poems or even make it more quiet. This is the tenth time I’ve invoked “I” in the space of six sentences. Processing art has always necessitated a certain amount of grappling with the creator, but the busywork of it lately grows more and more tedious. Joy drains out of my body parsing marks left behind not just in stylistic tendencies and themes, but in literal, intentional tags like graffiti on a water tower. This feels an age old and moth-holed complaint, dull, and I am no historian, or really a serious thinker of any kind. I’ve now complained at some length about self-referential art, but didn’t I love how Martin Scorsese nodded to the famous Goodfellas Copacabana tracking shot with the opening frames of last year’s The Irishman? Didn’t I find that terribly fun and sort of sweet? So there’s distinctions. I’m only saying I don’t know with certainty what they even are. I’m unreliable, and someone smarter than me has likely already solved my quandary about why self-knowledge often transforms into overly precious self-reflexivity in such a way that the knowledge is diminished and obscured, leaving only cutesy Easter eggs behind. Postmodernism has birthed a moralizing culture where art exists to be termed either “self-aware Good” or “self-aware Bad”. Self-referentiality in media is so commonplace, so much the standard, that what was once credited as metatextual inventiveness often feels lazy now. In 1996, Scream was revitalizing a genre. Today, two thirds of all horror movies spend half their running time making sure that you know that they know they’re a horror movie, which is fine, I guess, except sometimes you just wanna watch someone get butchered with an axe in peace.

This is all to say that in 2020 Taylor Swift looked long and hard upon her image in the reflecting pool of her heart and has written yet another song about Gone Girl.

“mirrorball” is a very good piece of Gone Girl —feels insane to tell anyone reading a post on a blog what Gone Girl is but, you know, the extremely popular 2012 novel about a woman who pretends to have been murdered and frames her husband for it, and subsequently the 2014 film adaption where you kinda see Ben Affleck’s dick for a second—fanfiction. It would be a fine song, a good song, really, even if it weren’t that, if it were just something normal and not unhinged written by a chill person who behaves in a regular way, but we need to acknowledge the facts for what they are. When Taylor Swift watched Rosamund Pike toss her freshly self-bobbed hair out of her face and hiss, “You think you’d be happy with some nice Midwestern girl? No way, baby. I’m it!” her brain lit up like a Christmas tree, and she’s never been the same. If you Google “taylor swift gone girl” there waiting for you will be a medium sized lake’s worth of articles speculating about how Gone Girl influenced and is referenced in past Swift singles “Blank Space” and “Look What You Made Me Do”. This is not new behavior, and if anything it’s getting a bit troubling to think that it’s been this long since Taylor’s read another book. Still, while the prior offerings were a fair attempt at this particular feat of depravity, “mirrorball” has brought Taylor’s Amy Elliott Dunne deification to stunning new heights. And most importantly, Taylor has done a service to every person alive with more than six brain cells and a Internet connection by putting an end to the “Cool Girl” discourse once and for all. By the power invested in “mirrorball”, it is hereby decreed that the Cool Girl speech from Gone Girl is neither feminist or antifeminist, not ironic nor aspirational. No. It’s something much better than all that. It’s a threat. I ! Can ! Change ! Everything ! About ! Me ! To ! Fit ! In !

Gone Girl (2012) by Gillian Flynn

“mirrorball” (2020) by Taylor Swift

When the twinkly musical stylings of Jack Antonoff, a man I distinctly distrust, but for no one specific reason, whirl to life at the beginning of this song I feel instantly entranced, blurry-brained and pleasure-pickled like an infant beneath a light-up crib mobile or, I guess, myself in the old times, the outside times, three tequila sodas deep under the disco lights at The Short Stop. Under a mirrorball in my head. I know very little about music, as a craft, and I really don’t care to know more. I’m happy in a world of pure, dumb sensation. I’m not even sure what kind of instruments are making these jangly little sounds. I just like it. I am vibing. We may not ever be able to behave badly in a club again, but I can sway to my stupid Taylor Swift-and-the-brother-of-the-lady-who-makes-like-those-sweatshirts-with-little-sayings-or-like-vulvas-which-famous-white-women-wear-on-instagram-you-know-what-I-mean song, pressing up onto my tiptoes on the linoleum tile of our kitchen floor and can feel for a second or two something approaching bliss. “mirrorball” is a lush sound bath that I like a lot and then also it’s about being all things to all people, chameleoning at a second’s notice, doing Oscar worthy work on every Zoom call, performing the you who is good, performing the you who is funny, performing the you who draws a liter of your own blood and throws it around the kitchen then cleans it up badly all to get your husband sent to jail for sleeping with a college student... Too much talk about making and unmaking of the self is way too, like, 2012 Tumblr for me now, and I start hearing the word “praxis” ring threateningly in my head, but I’m not yet so evolved that I don’t feel a pull. Musings on the disorganized self—on how we are new all the time, and not just because of all the fresh skin coming up under the dead, personhood in the end so frighteningly flexible—are always going to compel me, I’m afraid, but that goes double for musings on the disorganized self which posit that Taylor Swift still thinks Amy Dunne made some points.

Because on “mirrorball” Taylor is for once not hamfistedly addressing some “hater”, in the quiet and the lack of embarrassing martyrdom it actually offers an interesting answer to the complaint that Taylor is insufficiently self-aware. This criticism emerges often in tandem with claiming to have discovered some crack in the chassis of Swift’s public self, revealing the sweetness to be insincere. My instinct is to dismiss this more or less out of hand as just a mutation of the school of thought that presumes all work by women must be autobiography. And, regardless, it is made altogether laughable by the fact that anyone actually paying attention has known since at least Speak Now, a delightful record populated by the most appalling, horrible characters imaginable, and all of them written by a twenty year old Taylor Swift, that this woman is a pure weirdo. To accuse Taylor Swift of lacking in self-awareness is a reductive misunderstanding, I think, of artifice. Being a fake bitch takes work. Which is to say, if we agree that her public self is a calculated performance—eliding the fact that all public selves are a performance to avoid getting too in the weeds yadda yadda— why, then, should it be presumed that performance is rooted in ignorance? Would it not make more sense that, in fact, someone able to contort themselves so ably into various shapes for public consumption would have a certain understanding of the basic materials they’re working with and concealing? Taylor Swift, in a decade and a half of fame, has presented herself from inside a number of distinct packages. The gangly teenager draped in long curls like climbing wisteria who wrote lyrics down her arms in glitter paint gave way to red lipstick, a Diet Coke campaign, and bad dancing at awards shows. There was the period where she was surrounded constantly by a gaggle of models, then suddenly wasn’t anymore, and that rough interlude with the bleached hair. The whole Polaroid thing. Last year she boldly revealed she’s a democrat. Now it’s the end of the world and she’s got frizzy bangs and flannels and muted little piano songs. Perhaps this endless shape-shifting contradicts or undermines, for some, the pose of tender authenticity which has remained static through each phase, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been doing it all on purpose the entire time. I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try...

In the Disney+ documentary—which, in order to watch, I had to grudgingly give the vile mouse seven dollars, because the login information that I’d begged off of my little sister didn’t work and I was too embarrassed to bring it up a second time—Taylor referred to “mirrorball” as the first time on the album where she explicitly addressed the pandemic, referring to the lyrics that start, “And they called off the circus, Burned the disco down,” and end with “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me,” which actually did made me laugh, feeling sort of warmly foolish and a little fond, because it never would have occurred to me that she was trying to be literal there. I suppose we really do all contain multitudes. Hate that.

#taylor swift #folklore

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vampanic · 4 years ago

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okay here’s what i remember from THE CON

i can’t remember if the ticket was cheap or pricey. i don’t know why. i wanna say it was more expensive or of equal value to a bigger con and i justified it to my parents and myself because it was the first one. but i went because i thought the idea of a con that was centered on the various fandoms popular on this site at the time was a genuinely neat idea. i also thought, okay let me just go because it’s another one to attend.

i should note: that have been to a lot conventions in my time. i’ve been to acen twice i think? i’ve been to nebkon twice. sadly i have never been to c2e2 or flashback chicago (which i may never get to go to now whoops) and i’ve been to wizard world chicago i wanna say 4 times?

now at these cons (mostly wizard world) these fandoms aren’t as present. in fact, the main demo of that con was adult to middle age to older visitors as well as families, so usually teens and young adults would find each other at this con (whether planned ahead or by accident there) and freak the fuck out over our cosplays or mutual love of whatever.

so because of this again the idea of a t.umblr con was exciting to me, even though i was already at the end of being interested in those fandoms (as i’m sure most people were at the time)

okay so first, this con was far. wizard world and acen are held at the rosemont convention center which while kind of far from where i live, is accessible by train via downtown or via one of chicago’s big airports. i always got a ride though which with summer traffic, took forever. so much like that this con was a journey away.

the hotel the con choose i remember thinking it seemed new, but it was far from where i lived which inpacted the amount of time i spent at the con and the decision to only go two days (i didn’t return the last day because it was a shit show)

i went to this con by myself because i think at this point i had already had a falling out with my friend who i went to cons in the area with (she did not attend that i know of). i wore two cosplays that i had made already for other things, gwen stacy and america chavez. this would have been the ideal place for me to cosplay something more niche, but i just didn’t care that much about it. maybe i didn’t think it was worth it at the time since it wasn’t going to be a big con.

so i get there and there’s no long line to get my badge in fact i don’t even remember a line at all. which, for me, was bizarre. every con i’ve been to before had huge lines even on off hours to get badges. but whatever. i cant remember if where i got my badge was in the the same room as where the ball pit was or not. but yes, i did go into the ball pit and i was silly in it with some other people because

idk you see a ball pit you go in the ball pit? in hindsight i know it’s not acceptable to have this at a con, but shit i guess i was high on life at the time. someone took a pic of me in the pit, but i have never seen it.

i remember seeing some very impressive cosplays at this con. i also bought some really great art in the dealers room which was small. (here’s the artist. also this was nonfandom art. i don’t remember buying anything else from anyone because i don’t think i saw anything i liked/could afford) there was no unlicensed night vale merch sold here that i remember, but i do remember receiving free unlicsenced night vale like pamphlets from a random vendor and also there was a vendor who was giving away a large piece of night vale fan art with a purchase of over something dollars i dont remember.

panels: i don’t remember there being many panels or even very interesting panels. panels i remember going to include: bisexuality in media/bisexuality representation (which was put on by the bisexualbooks tumblr), ask an avenger (which was put on by various marvel cosplayers), and a panel that was about female characters in supernatural (i was a spn stan back in the day jsyk).

the bi one was good. i remember it being the most like a panel that you’d go to at a larger convention. they had slides and info and they took questions and had several speakers.

the avengers one was what we’d call today “cringey” but it was cute. it was exactly what it sounds like. avengers cosplayers sat up on a stage answering questions in character. i believe that all the cosplayers had rp and/or ask blogs which is why they were chosen.

the supernatural panel was, like the bi one, complete with slides and various speakers, but from what i remember it was mostly going down the list of female characters in the show. i remember from the fandom that there a good chunk of people who love the characters, but they’re often killed off or abandoned and this is something a lot of fans did have gripes with. this is gonna sound fake when i say it, but this did happen, we got to charlie and someone said “yeah i like charlie she’s cool because she’s a lesbian but she doesn’t act like one like she’s still feminine” and i spoke up and said “well yeah it’s cool she’s a lesbian, but what do you mean she doesn’t act like one. like queer female character shouldn’t have to be feminine to be seen as good rep.” and people clapped. i know that sounds fake, but please believe me because this is a setting where people are inclined to clap when they agree with statements. people clapped at others too.

i also attended the costume contest, the night vale panel, and the meet and greet with doug jones.

the contest was fine. there was one individual at this con who i can’t name because i didnt know their name, but they cosplayed as ed from edd ed and eddy and they were in character the whole time to the point of discomfort. it wasn’t just for the contest i found myself in a cards against humanity game that they were in and it was even there and it was weird.

then the night vale panel happened and ooooooooohhhh boy

this was the most filled room in the whole con. a main reason i went to this con was to see them and im pretty sure this was everyone’s main reason to go. i known someone from other cons who came from florida to see this. (fun fact: we were mutuals on various platforms and had hung out at various cons and i knew their name, but they could not remember mine and i thought that was bogus so i ghosted them. dont know if i was justified in that but whatever)

so here we all were waiting. for over an hour. during this time people talked and i remember someone cosplaying the glow cloud went up and down the isle with a little glow cloud baby in a stroller and we all laughed and cheered. people started playing card games. we kept busy. for me though.

this was one of the most boring cons i’ve been to honestly. i’m having trouble remember a lot of it and that’s because i went solo. i had no friends there. i cosplayed gwen from like the 60s and this was before spidey joined the mcu and before itsv was a thing so spidey was basically an niche fandom (i was active in the tasm and dane deha.an fandoms at this time and the latter became toxic as fuck but that’s a whole other story) or something older comic fans liked.

my other cosplay was america chavez from young avengers which never got that popular either (though kate bishop and kid loki where more recognized, but for their connection to bigger marvel names). so it wasn’t like other cons where my cosplay was an ice breaker and i could join groups. i was alone.

so a lot of the con for that reason was awkward and waiting for night vale was like being the person texting in the corner at a distant relative’s party because they know no one.

so they finally come on stage to say that night vale will not be performing and people went ballistic people were shouting and the person said “we have doug jones in the next hall you should go over to that” and someone yelled “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM”

i went to see doug jones and i was previously unaware of what his name was but i knew who he was. he talked about his work and acting process and did a meet and greet after. mr. jones was a delight and i’m wondering how they even got him there in the first place. he was leagues above this.

i had to leave the con early that day to go to my brother’s football game, but i believe that was the night they “protested” at the con and i kept seeing on tumblr that it was cancelled. i decided not to go back the next day because i was unsure of what was happening and because it was too far.

and the rest is history. i’m sure i went to other panels, but i can’t remember them. i do remember going into the room where they were watching pacific rim, but it was on a shitty projection screen and i wanted to go to a panel instead.

it’s shitty what happened with the con. and a lot of the unrest came from literal teens who were cheated from money who didn’t know how to act, but all the responsibility goes to the people who organized it poorly. The concept of a tu.mblr con i don’t think should have been inherently bad. i think it would have been cool to have a con that focused on more niche interests. but shouldn’t have been as big as they wanted it to be for the first go.

anyway that’s most of what i can remember. it’s kind of blur because i spent most of it by myself and there wasn’t much to do so i didn’t even spend the whole day there.

quite frankly, i’m glad i wasn’t there when they started singing les mis because i have no idea how i would have acted.

#[out of coffins]#/under a cut because it's long

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regina-nox · 5 years ago

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Look I get being annoyed with all the attention/praise Natalie Portman got for her cape at the Oscars being embroidered with the names of the female directors that got snubbed by the academy. Especially considering that she has only starred in two* films with female directors, one of them being herself. One might argue that it’s another case of performative wokeness. Another then might counter that by pointing out that it’s better than doing nothing, which is never a strong argument.

We need to stop expecting perfection from artists. I’m not saying we can’t hold them accountable or criticize their actions, but we need to also be patient. Be annoyed at all the Buzzfeed-esque drooling over celebrities doing cool/good things that gets plastered all over social media, but don’t get annoyed at the celebs themselves for that coverage. Portman didn’t ask to be congratulated on her sartorial decision: she was merely using her platform in a very clever way to bring attention to an issue she has been outspoken about in the past.

I know how annoying all of the sheep like praise for celebrities can get, it’s ridiculous, but I don’t think we should let that stop us from still giving people credit for doing awesome things. Like I said, we’re allowed to critique people who possess swaths of influence and have a platform whether they acknowledge it or not, but if we’re going to critique them then in turn I believe it’s our job to commend them when they contribute to significant issues. Not only does that encourage celebrities to do this more, but it also sends a message to all of the people who follow this person that what they’re doing is important and deserves positive recognition. Because then their attention is brought to the issue, and it can ultimately foster widespread change. For example, while it’s definitely worth mentioning that it seems Portman could make more of an effort on her part to work with more female directors, however I don’t think it’s fair to completely slam her for making a statement with that outfit. I think that kind of bashing promotes purity culture—are we not allowed to take a stance on an issue if we haven’t led a perfect example?

I think the scathing attacks just discourage people. Because who among us is perfect? People (celebrities and non-celebrities alike) see Portman trying to make an effort and then being dragged for it. Again, not saying we shouldn’t or can’t point out the flaws with her protest, but to ruthlessly bash her doesn’t help. And I usually hate that kind of argument, like when I was on a date with a guy and he said “women saying ‘I hate men’ doesn’t help their cause” and I replied saying “maybe I don’t always need to be helping the cause, maybe I can say whatever I damn well feel like.” The difference is at the end of the day Natalie Portman is a physical human being and being a celebrity she is already subjected to mass amounts of criticism. And yes, we can find what she did to be more of an act of performative wokeness and find that tiresome. But did it deserve outrage?

And this isn’t me saying we need to be polite in these times, because fuck that. Like when fucking T.I. told everyone the weird shit about his daughter and her gyno appointments and everyone was rightfully like what the fuck, you complete gross fuck. The crowd booing Trump at the World Series was great, Pelosi ripping up the SOTU speech was also great. I’m just saying, as a cynical person myself, it’s important not to tear down everything all the time because it isn’t perfect. Uh Obama’s presidency was far from perfect, partly because of the continued use of drones (I mean hey if we could employ drones without killing thousands* of innocent people I wouldn’t complain but that’s just me and my opinion idk), but it also gave millions** of people access to affordable healthcare (and hey while the ACA isn’t universal healthcare it has provided a great foundation to move the country there). Oh that being said it doesn’t mean someone’s good behavior always excuses bad behavior. I’m not saying every artist should simply be able to get away with bad shit (“I mean I know that whole T.I. thing was fucked up but he’s so good in the Ant-Man movies!” or even “Well T.I. apologized and then donated a million dollars to some women’s charity*** ok let’s all move on!”).

Again it’s super important that we criticize people that wield massive amounts of influence. Speaking of the Academy, it annoys me to no end that people simply blame twitter for the lack of Oscars host when people had every right to criticize the choice of Kevin Hart as a host considering all of those awful tweets about if his son ever came out as gay. Some people might argue that they’re just tweets and jokes, he isn’t serious. But when you think about all of the LGBTQ kids currently living in the streets because their parents kicked them out, it becomes slightly less funny. And now I’m getting into comedy which is a whole other can of worms. I mean we should definitely approach these things holistically as we’re all entitled to our own interpretation. But we don’t always have to be mean is I guess the crux at what I’ve been trying to say. (Again, not saying we shouldn’t or can’t be mean because fuck it.) So then maybe not?

It’s tricky because as I’m writing this I’m also playing the counter arguments in my head. I guess what I’m trying to say overall is can we please chill with tearing imperfect people down when they try to make a difference, and that tearing people down is not the same as constructive criticism.

Keys (because I don’t feel like doing research on an opinion piece of a tumblr post):

*=me being not entirely sure of the accuracy of this number full disclosure

**=me knowing it was in the millions but also still not knowing the exact number so yeah disclaimer there

***=me having no actual clue if this happened, like I’m going to assume he apologized because public opinion practically demanded it and then it would just make sense to make a show of making an effort which is so easy when you’re wealthy. But my point is I really have no idea what he did and so I completely made this up and don’t know the extent of how fake/real it might be.

#rant #oscars 2020 #natalie portman #opinion #fashion #twitter

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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896

Would you ever try Fear Factor for one million dollars? Why or why not? Yes. It would make for hilarious stories for get-togethers and I think that winning a million dollars that I could use up for the rest of my life doing some dumb dares for a few hours would be worth it. If you have a camera, when do you use flash? Only if it’s dim. I don’t like the effect that flash gives. What would you do with eighty-three crazy straws? Find an aunt or uncle with a kid who’s having a birthday party soon so they can use the straws as giveaways or something. If you use hair spray, what brand do you use the most? I don’t. Is Catcher in the Rye in your library by any chance? It’s probably in another college’s library, most likely our college for the arts and letters. There’s no reason for it to be in a mass communication library.

What if there was no such thing as the word 'one'? Then that would imply that we have/have to have plurals of everything, which just sounds a bit bizarre to me.

What do you have automatic sympathy for? The 11,000 employees of the country’s biggest broadcasting network that was recently officially shut down by our – surprise surprise – government. These are people who weren’t even involved in the network’s franchise renewal status (which was/is the main issue), people who have families, people who relied on these jobs to get by during a worldwide pandemic, people who loved their jobs, people who found family in these jobs, It’s absolutely crazy how people can defend their stance against the network and justify the loss of 11,000 jobs. What is a cool disposable object? I don’t know who looks at disposable objects and thinks they’re ‘cool,’ but the first thing I thought of was my vape pen of choice, which are disposable. It has enough puffs to last several months with me so it’s more convenient for me to keep buying them than spending a large amount on a refillable one. Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan? Why? Hilary Duff as Lizzie McGuire is more nostalgic to me; I used to watch it nearly everyday. I never watched Lindsay’s movies other than Herbie. What do you think of the actor Michael Cera? No opinion but I remember the time when he was often used on 9Gag memes. Simpler times lol. Anyway, I haven’t seen any of his movies. What is the best thing about a Barbie doll? I think it’s really fun how they’ve come up with a bazillion outfits for Barbies and Kens. And different versions too – as far as I know there’s been a Filipino Barbie for a while :) What is something you'd say in your will? If I passed any time soon I’d like to include some things about my dogs and how they’re supposed to be taken care of. If we’re talking about what I’m putting in my will if I ever reach like 80, I just wanna make sure every person who’s been in my life and stayed for a bit is mentioned and thanked and I wanna make the list as expansive as I possibly can at that age. Idk, I’ve always been sentimental. Any thoughts on fake abortion clinics? What??? I don’t know what those are and what they do, but they sound awful. What was a username you'd thought wouldn't be taken but was taken? I’ve tried using my full name as a username in a few websites and seen them being taken. My first and last names don’t make a common pair, so I’ve always found it surprising. Cherry or peanut ice cream? Peanut. Not gonna lie, it’s an unusual flavor – but Asians kinda put peanuts on everything heh. What is your dream cellphone? Why? Whatever new phone Apple puts out because unfortunately I buy into toxic consumerist shit like that lol Would you rather be watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Neither. From one to ten, how big of a movie buff are you? I��d give myself an 8. I’ve seen my fair share of movies and I can honestly say that my favorite films are not cliche picks, but I’ve also yet to see a bunch of classics that other ~movie buffs~ hail as being excellent movies like Taxi Driver, Silence of the Lambs, Rocky, American Psycho, etc. I also haven’t been watching movies as much as I used to, which takes down another point for me. Who is a celebrity you think will never get into trouble? The Irwin kids. I wouldn’t call them celebrities per se though; they’re in the spotlight for the most wholesome reasons. I’ve seen every segment Robert Irwin has had on Jimmy Fallon and it’s amazingly precious. What is an important holiday to you? Why? Probably the EDSA Anniversary because without it we’d still be under a dictatorship. Name a catty girl you really dislike. I wouldn’t call anyone I know that. What is a museum you would like to go to? The top 3 museums that I would love to visit are the Anne Frank House, the Met, and the Art Institute of Chicago. And wherever Monet’s paintings are, because he’s my favorite artist. Personally, do you look better with short hair or long hair? Short. Long, frizzy hair does not look good on me and on anyone else. What was the reason why you last blocked a person from your IM? He was a stranger who hit on me. I added him back only because we had a considerable amount of mutual friends and I thought that maybe he used to be a classmate or something, but he messaged me some shit that he had probably copy-pasted to 700 other girls saying like ‘hey do you mind if you and I talk? I find you really pretty’ like six seconds after adding him back. It was so fucking creepy and I never blocked someone so quickly. I was already in a foul mood that night so I also showed the brief interaction to Gab and I gave her freedom to curse the shit out of the guy if she wanted to. What is a cliche thing that happens a lot in anime? I don’t like anime and have never watched it. What are your views on the cartoon show Invader Zim? I’ve never seen that either. If you have some, what is tonight's homework about? I don’t have homework anymore. If you have one, what is your favorite sushi flavour? Cream cheese salmon rolls from a local place called Torch. What is the first thing you think of when I say 'Jack'? Rose. Do you understand JavaScript coding? A teeny bit, thanks to the theme customizations I used to do on Tumblr when I was 14. What would you do if you found a gun in your best friend's bedroom? Confront them, and maybe even scold them. I definitely would be angry. Not even just because it could mean they’re suicidal, but because I don’t believe in guns. What do you call your grandparents? I call both sets Lolo and Lola. When I say 'Go', you say: I just remember the song Green Light by Beyoncé because the chorus on that is her screaming ‘Go.’ What colour do you usually paint your nails? I never paint them. They’re pretty, but I never saw them as a necessity. What would be a cool earring design? People come up with cool designs all the time now though. I’m completely sure there are a million versions of this now but I would love sriracha sauce earrings haha. What do you think of raccoons? No opinion as I’ve never encountered them. Any thoughts on the actor Paul Rudd? NEVER AGES Who is the better liar: your mother or your best friend? Mom. Gab will lie to me sometimes but I can always tell. Are breast implants something you'd consider? Why or why not? I considered it when I was a teenager because people used to pick on me for being flat-chested, as if I had a choice as to what size my body would end up being. Also, flat chests were the butt of so many jokes in the early 2010s so it made me insecure for a very long time. Nowadays the environment is a lot nicer and I’m seeing many flat-chest positivity posts (if that’s even a thing) so I’ve changed my mind about implants. Besides nightmares, what is the scariest thing about sleeping? Sleep paralysis. You can wake up from nightmares. Do you find the phrase 'nom nom nom' annoying? Not as much as ‘rawr’ annoys me. Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? I look good in neither but I would go with red. When was the last time you had chocolate milk? Oooooh it’s been a while :( I feel like that’s something people have to start selling more, honestly. I don’t see chocolate milk being sold other than at the grocery or convenience stores and ugh, I just want more restaurants to add it on their menus lol. That being said, the last time I had it was in January, during a journalism workshop that we hosted in a school in Marikina. The teachers offered us that and a Fudgee Bar as thank-you snacks :)

#survey #surveys

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harryandmolly · 6 years ago

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The Emancipation of Ginny ~ 1

summary: shawn and ginny could’ve ruined everything six months ago, and sticking together despite their past could make or break them now as ginny stays on as his personal assistant. but what happens on tour doesn’t stay on tour.

warnings: Language, dental health vs. mental health, Longing (TM)

WC: 4.6k

“Shawn, gum.”

He shuffles over sheepishly and spits his sugar free Dentyne Ice into the garbage can with a metallic ping. He makes a face at her and turns away.

The morning doesn’t look much like morning. It’s so absolutely dark at 3:30am as they huddle in the Air Canada Maple Leaf lounge. There isn’t a single soul in there that doesn’t work for Andrew Gertler, so the team, a.k.a. Andrew himself, Shawn, Cez, Josiah, Brian, Jake and Ginny, are spread out over every available surface. Most of their cast of misfits is asleep. Andrew checks email on his phone, Jake is fighting a cold and snorts into a tissue every few minutes. Shawn and Ginny are the only others conscious.

The only reason they too haven’t passed out before their 5am flight to London is because Shawn has a call-in interview with a radio show in Paris. When they’re in full single promo mode like this, these kinds of squeezed operations are not uncommon. Ginny has to stay on the ball.

Maybe she’s nitpicky, but she just winces at the idea of some snotty Parisian gossip blog making comments about the tacky Canadian kid smacking his gum on air. It would get to Twitter, then Insta, then Tumblr, then god knows where else and she’d really rather just… not.

Shawn’s crisp, clear voice cuts through her fog as he tries to gamely repeat phrases in French (“vous les vous couchez… hey, don’t try to trick me, I know that one!”) for his beloved French listeners. Even at this ungodly hour, he can put on the charm when he needs to. And he rarely complains.

Ginny sighs, tipping her head onto her fist as her elbow props her up on the skinny arm of a terminal seat. She blinks slowly, listening to him laugh and try to pronounce French names as the fog takes her back.

Shawn and Andrew have fought time and circumstance for a week to sit down and have whatever this talk is about to be. Shawn leans forward in the armchair, sitting on his hands and bouncing his knees as Andrew wraps up his phone call. Before his thumb hits the “end call” button, Shawn is on him.

“So what’s up?” he chirps.

Andrew chuckles, exhausted. “Sorry, man. It’s been crazy.”

Shawn nods eagerly for him to proceed. Andrew eases into the chair across from him and rubs his stubbled chin. He smiles wearily, a man exhausted.

“I need some help, dude.”

Shawn’s gut lurches. Andrew’s never asked for his help before. Andrew doesn’t seem to need much of anyone’s help, the way Shawn sees it. Andrew’s his own personal superhero. Shawn’s eyes widen and he nods for him to continue.

“I mean, you’ve seen us lately. We haven’t had 45 seconds to catch up and get our heads on straight since before we started recording. Our world is changing. I think we have to expand to keep up.”

Shawn narrows his eyes and bobs his head again.

“I think we should bring on an assistant. A right hand for you to help you with all the stuff you don’t really need me for, you just need someone. Someone to help keep the schedule going, help with travel, deal with your personal stuff. Someone young who I can lean on too, and help train. Someone interested in artist management who I can help groom from the start of a career.”

Shawn shifts in his seat and sighs. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help Andrew. It’s not even that he doesn’t think he needs a PA -- he accepts that he probably does. He just… the chemistry of the team is so good. He gets hesitant about adding new ingredients. He’s grown so very attached to his people and how they all work together.

He’s about to voice this concern when he looks up at Andrew, his partner, the guy who reached down and hauled him up from Vine and YouTube and gave him the best chance he’s ever had. Andrew, wizened and worn to the bone, though he wears it well. Shawn’s heart swells.

“Of course, yeah, dude.”

“Ok,” Andrew sighs, shifting his glasses against the bridge of his nose, “Security says there are about 40 girls outside.”

Ginny doesn’t have to look to see (or hear) Jake wince. Her nose twitches in response, displacing the little gold hoop in her septum. Shawn just nods like a quarterback taking direction from his coach.

“So, they’re gonna lend us a hand to get us out to the cars. I’ve got Shawn, Ginny and Jake. Cez, Josiah, Brian in car two. You’re heading for the hotel.”

“The party car,” Cez chuckles, raising his eyebrows at his travel buddies. Brian and Josiah agree with a laugh and start hauling their bags over their shoulders in preparation to sift through the crowd.

“Hey, what time is it?” Shawn murmurs from just above Ginny’s head. She’s sifting through texts from Tiffany about scheduling Shawn’s next fitting. She cracks a smile.

“You don’t have time, mate,” she answers softly, reading his mind.

Shawn wrinkles his nose. “Just to say hi. Take a group selfie?”

“Might be late as it is,” she grunts under the weight of the backpack she’s overstuffed. Shawn helps her with the other strap and adjusts it against her back with a tap.

“Ok,” he says. It’s a little despondent with a candy coating. Ginny knows the voice well.

“But we’re gonna have time after Grimmy to say hi to the fans outside the Beeb,” she adds as they begin stalking off down the corridor toward the hulking men in black jackets waiting to escort them out to arrivals’ ground transport.

That seems to perk Shawn up. She snickers at his change in demeanor and flicks at a curl over his forehead. He wriggles his fingers by her face, widening his eyes as he slowly reaches for her hair. She smacks his hand away with a gasp.

“You wouldn’t,” she gripes, drowned out by the resounding shrieks of some very happy British girls as the automatic doors slide open. Shawn wiggles his eyebrows and smirks at her for a moment before he converts it to a billion-dollar rockstar grin and a double-handed toddler wave.

Ginny keeps her head down. It’s easier this way. In the beginning, she thought engaging with the fans would be fun, and Andrew encouraged it at first, thought it would be a good way for her to feel welcomed into the team, but things got out of hand quickly. As the only female on Shawn’s travel team, interest heightened to a level that none of them could handle. After Ginny’s personal Instagram was hacked for the third time, they sat down and had a meeting about her pulling back and becoming a face in the crowd. It was the right thing for everyone. Plus, she’s always really hated the flashes of the paps. If she isn’t expected to be photographed, she slides away from them more easily.

Andrew gets into the passenger side of the first blacked out Range Rover. Shawn and Ginny climb into the back after Shawn throws out a few more waves and “THANK YOU!”s.

With his gaze down at his phone as he thumbs through Twitter, Shawn mumbles, “I don’t know what the fuck they were saying, but this is definitely the fun car.”

Ginny’s lips twitch. Shawn looks over. She giggles. He giggles back. Andrew smiles down at his phone.

Ginny stares with her top lip squeezed under her teeth. She forces her dry, cracked hands between her knees and blinks quickly.

“You know I’m sorry, Gin,” Hannah moans, sitting forward to plant her tiny dark hands on Ginny’s legs, urging her to look up at her.

“No, I know, listen, it’s fine. It was going to happen sometime,” Ginny reasons politely over the smashing of her heart against her ribs.

“But listen, this is better for you!” Hannah hisses, shaking Ginny like she does when she’s trying to get something through her thick head, “If you’d stayed with me forever, you’d never have grown, never have learned anything new. This way, you’ll have direct artist management experience. And Shawn Mendes is one of the biggest acts on the planet. This is invaluable.”

Ginny hears it all, and she knows Hannah is right. But it doesn’t make being fired by your best friend any easier.

Ginny Dresden and Hannah Dyer have been best friends since primary school when they were sat next to each other because they were the only two little girls of color in their class at the tiny posh school in Bedford Park. In the back of their classroom, they colored each other’s hands purple and planted them on construction paper, giggling when they realized even though Hannah’s skin was much darker, they made the same color handprint.

As children, they sang in choir after school until it was no longer cool and then they sang in Hannah’s basement and recorded each other for when they became famous someday.

Now, Ginny waits for the day those tapes will become useful. Because Hannah isn’t just famous, she’s practically iconic.

Hannah, at exactly the right place and the right time, was discovered singing (though underage) at a bar in Fulham and within a few months was signed to a contract with Sony. As her star rose, she took Ginny with her in the hopes that her oldest and dearest friend could explore the world with her and find where she belonged. So she put Ginny on the payroll and off they went.

For four years, they took the world by storm. Ginny was a regular star of Hannah’s Snapchats -- “I’m building your brand,” Hannah would tell her. Ginny was happy to be along for the ride and took an interest in artist management as she saw Hannah cycle through a few different ones, the good, the bad, the ugly.

And then came Marcus. Marcus is the keyboard player of a group called “Bend Daylight” that played the festival circuit with them two years ago. From that first day of Pukkelpop, Ginny knew, even if Hannah didn’t. Marcus was the one.

Hannah and Marcus were married last summer. Four months ago, Hannah announced her pregnancy. And it’s not like Ginny didn’t expect things to change, to slow down. She just didn’t expect to be let go completely. But Hannah wasn’t about to throw her out into the world empty handed. She had set up a gig for Gin through a friend of her manager’s who knew Andrew Gertler from Shawn Mendes’s team. Andrew wanted an experienced PA who was looking to be educated out of her position into artist management. It’s the perfect fit.

Ginny agrees to a meeting. Her hesitance is clear by the furrow in her brow. Hannah reaches across the coffee table and over her swelling belly to plant a kiss between her best friend’s eyes with a wet smack.

“... and you love it here in London, don’t you, Shawn?” spouts Nick Grimshaw in that brilliant Mancunian accent that always makes Ginny feel at home wherever she is in the world. As she sits in a seat against the wall watching Shawn and Grimmy volley banter back and forth live on BBC Radio 1, she feels Shawn’s eyes. She lifts her head from her notebook and smiles warmly.

“Yeah, yeah I do, I really love it. I’ve thought about getting a place out here, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” quips Grimmy, leaning into the mic that he’s gripping with his bony fingers, “Where would you look?”

“Ahhh, I dunno,” Shawn begins, again looking to Ginny, who raises her eyebrows and shrugs as if to say, ‘you’re on your own, pal.’ Grimmy picks up on the gesture.

“Does Ginny have a say in this?” Grimmy laughs, his grin wide and toothy. Ginny shuts her notebook and sits up, shaking her head.

“Ginny, my assistant, she’s from Bedford Park in West London,” Shawn explains proudly, a smile in his voice, “So her vote would be somewhere over there, I’d guess.” He glances to Ginny for confirmation.

Ginny rises from her chair and steps toward the mic Grimmy is waving her toward. A producer hands her headphones. Ginny props her hands on the desk and leans down toward the mic, eyeing Shawn.

“I’d want you to get a posh bachelor pad in Mayfair for us to rage at, actually,” Ginny jokes, winking at Grimmy. Shawn rolls his eyes as Grimmy cheers, “way-hays,” and chants “lads, lads, lads!” Ginny joins him.

“Yeah, definitely my style,” Shawn snarks, lifting his chin at Ginny, who shrugs and settles back in her seat.

“Nice that your team knows their way around, though,” Grimmy concedes with a final smile toward Ginny before he gets back down to business.

“So, this new single…”

As things work out, ever so bizarrely, as is the norm in the Mendes camp, Shawn and Ginny’s first meeting is for a flight from Toronto to New York. By themselves. It’s circumstantial -- Andrew left earlier for New York for a few meetings and Shawn stayed behind in Toronto for his dad’s birthday. Jake, Josiah and the rest of the squad are absent for various reasons, so it’s just… Shawn and Ginny.

“How do I know what she looks like?” Shawn mutters to Andrew on the phone, knowing Andrew won’t judge him for his anxiety over this, as his car pulls up to departures.

“She’s tall. Like, really tall. Just… oh, hey Mike, can you wait up for a second? Hey… yeah, hi, sorry Shawn, just look for a tall, beautiful black woman with a septum piercing. I gotta go. Safe flight. Call me when you land.”

He hangs up before Shawn can say anything else.

Shawn’s gotten over his hangups about bringing on a new team member. He’s had a phone interview with her to make sure he didn’t hear anything crazy in her voice. And he trusts Andrew’s judgment the way he trusts that of his parents. All that remains now is the awkwardness of meeting someone new that’s meant to wait on you day in and day out as their profession. And she’s a tall, beautiful black woman? Why couldn’t they have hired a dude? A scruffy, old dude who Shawn didn’t have to worry about growing close to?

Andrew said she’d be waiting by the Air Canada check-in counters. When Shawn walks through the doors to the airport flanked by a couple security guys in lieu of Jake, he sees one person pacing back and forth in front of the counters on the phone, rolling a sleek red hard-covered suitcase that was absolutely silent as she tugged it around.

It seems almost everything about her Andrew had mentioned was an understatement. She’s tall. Yeah, she’s fuckin’ tall. She’s at least 5’11” but the height of her hair adds at least a few more inches. Shawn doesn’t often interact with women as tall as he is. So that’s new.

And beautiful. Yeah. Also probably undersold her a little.

She’s lithe and thin in that yoga-doing way. She’s wearing leggings that crop at her ankles and show off a truly stunning pair of legs, paired with a plain white t-shirt and a worn old jean jacket, the kind that even the most hipster store couldn’t replicate the cool of. Her hair is a bouncing, living whirl of tight, pencil thin curls that don’t have an ounce of frizz, somehow. She’s got a pair of aviators tucked up in there behind her ears. She doesn’t look to be wearing any makeup beyond a striking red lip color that makes Shawn lick his. Her face is angular but warm with a sweet little nose and a little dip in the center of her chin that reminds him of his own. Her eyes are a dark, clear brown and look like the kind of eyes that reflect every thought in her beautiful head.

Shawn’s chest deflates. He pastes on a friendly smile and tries not to imagine how complicated this could get.

“Shawn, gum!” Ginny calls from the back of the group of troops heading out from the Radio 1 building to greet the fans waiting outside.

Shawn raises a swallow-emblazoned hand and waves it at her as a thank you. She watches as he darts out from the pack to spit his gum into a bin and fall back in line. Ginny hears when they come into view of the crowd because it starts with a collective gasping of teenage breath and becomes a steadier, louder wail that Ginny knows well by now.

Jake looks to Ginny for a nod. She gives it. He shadows Shawn as he strolls over to meet and greet them, taking selfies, doling out hugs, signing and signing until he looks down at his pen with a frown. Before Jake can even look back to Ginny, she’s got a fresh Sharpie at the ready and hands it off to Jake, who hands it to Shawn. The minor interruption is noticed only by Andrew, who grins at the efficiency and shakes his head.

Thank god for Ginny Dresden. He thinks it to himself at least once a day now.

The crowd is only barely dissipating as it becomes time to wrap up. Ginny glances down at her watch and back up at Jake for the nod. Jake nods back and leans into Shawn for the heads up. Shawn does his bowing and praying hands as he backs away from the reaching, grabbing hands. Cameras flash. Ginny ducks her head. They pack themselves into the Rover for the next stop, a dinner at the Connaught Bar with some Island Records people who want to celebrate the new single, “Against the Noise.”

Shawn drops into the seat next to hers with a heaving sigh. She fights her instinct to dip her head onto his shoulder and snuggle into him. Instead, she smiles gently.

“You good?” she hums.

Shawn blinks over at her sleepily. He nods, “‘m good.”

What do I even say? Ginny wonders, trying not to look up at him from her Spotify, but he’s got one of those faces that’s hard to look away from. She knew, obviously, that he was criminally good looking, but Hannah neglected to warn her how overwhelming he is in person. She wants to put her nose right up against his jaw just to feel how sharp it is. What a weird instinct. She blinks hard to rid herself of the notion.

They’re in business class. He’s got his recliner out and is drumming his fingers against his thigh that Ginny’s also trying not to look at because his black jeans look like they’ve been painted the fuck on and his quads are magnificent and she would know because she’s got a very fine pair herself from yoga and pilates.

They’ve been in the air for 20 minutes. The fasten seatbelt sign just went off. Shawn has free WiFi because he probably has enough Air Canada miles to, well, buy Air Canada so he’s looking through his phone. He generously shared his code with her but it got lost somewhere between his big hazel-ish eyes and soft pouty lips and Ginny’s ears. She was too shy to ask for it again, so she pulled out her book instead.

She didn’t have to do this last time, the bonding thing. She and Hannah had been so bonded they were practically attached. But Shawn is essentially her new boss, though she’s technically employed by AG Artists, and she needs to make a good impression.

She’s studying a pathetic mental list of small talk starters that really should be longer given the British peoples’ propensity for chat when Shawn pipes up out of nowhere.

“Hey, where did you get that suitcase from? The red one?”

She looks up from her tragic cuticles and sees him looking at her curiously. Did his eyes get bigger? Warmer? Sweeter? Fuck.

“It’s a Victorinox,” she spits out, “It’s a great case. Super durable. And light. And the wheels are--”

“They’re like, silent,” Shawn interrupts, his voice hushed like he’s talking about magic.

Ginny smiles slowly and a giggle rises up from deep in her chest. And Shawn thinks maybe that really is magic.

Ginny likes the idea of the guerilla bookstore acoustic set better than the reality of it.

The planning was a headache. She and Andrew have been on the phone for a month planning it with the label -- which bookstore would get the honor? Exactly when? What would security be like? Would they drop hints? Would they do a treasure hunt? Would Ginny like to design and manage to execute the treasure hunt from a continent away? Please and thank you.

But Shawn’s excited. So she’s excited.

They crawl out of the Range Rover and traipse over slick pavement into the back entrance of the Waterstones in Piccadilly. Ginny picked it for practical reasons -- they agreed to the contract with the label, their chain could handle the security, it was a central location.

But Ginny’s grandmother used to take her here as a little girl and pick out books every third Sunday of each month like clockwork. She told Shawn this in a hushed voice beside a flickering candle at a business dinner in Century City a few weeks ago as he smiled and gushed over what a great idea it was, how sweet that she planned it to be there.

“It’s always nice to be home with you, Gin.”

Shawn runs the pad of his thumb along the sleek cut of her jaw. He doesn’t worry like he used to about getting her lipstick all over him. He’s living proof that it really is very long wearing. Instead he focuses on drawing out that sweet little noise from the back of her throat that he’s obsessed with.

Ah, god, there it is. It’s so perfect.

Just as soon as he gets it out of her, she pulls away. He grunts and chases her down, pinning his lips to her cheekbone. His fingers trail the seam of her jeans on the outside of her hip while he listens to her pant.

“We’re telling Andrew today. Or it’s done.”

Shawn swallows and he worries for a second his tongue will go down with it. He backs off her cheek and licks his lips with a firm nod.

“Yeah. Yeah, ok.”

It’s Ginny that spearheads the sit down. Andrew doesn’t even look surprised when Shawn reaches over for her hand mid-shaky explanation that they’ve been working together six months now, and they know maybe it’s unconventional, maybe it seems like a bad idea, but this is how they feel and they want to pursue it.

Ginny, to her credit, is not a shrinking violet about it. Her jaw is set, but her eyes are as warm and welcoming as ever. Andrew slumps into his chair and removes his glasses to rub his face.

“Guys…” he groans through his hands, “The thing is, I can’t tell you no. And I can no sooner kick Ginny off the team. Both of those things will lead to immediate chaos. And… and Shawn will be miserable.”

Shawn lifts his eyes from Ginny’s blunted round fingernails.

“I am trusting you both to be adults. Please, god, please don’t make me regret it. If this runs its course, it cannot explode in our faces. We cannot afford that. So if you’re doing this, do it smart. What the fuck am I saying? You’re in love. There’s nothing smart about it. Just… try to minimize casualties.”

He stalks off with his phone. Shawn and Ginny hold each other’s limp fingers, dumbfounded.

Ginny glances over. Shawn meets her gaze. She lifts her eyebrows. He lifts the corner of his mouth.

“Ok.”

Shawn’s smile is glorious after he plays a set, any set for anyone. He could be in a field playing an acoustic for the three blind mice and he’d be beaming like he just got offstage at Madison Square Garden. It’s beautiful. And it’s addictive.

Ginny follows him closer than usual as they leave the bookstore. Her general rule is to trail around the back of Shawn’s entourage. Any time she was photographed within five feet of him, they’d hear about it. But tonight, after he played under an arch where she used to curl up with the Chronicles of Narnia and the Series of Unfortunate Events, it’s harder to stay away.

She indulges the whim and walks beside him through the hoard of paparazzi flashing their cameras and hollering “Shawn! Oi, Shawn!” for a glance from the wonderboy. He notices her presence and offers a subtle smile, a moment he hopes won’t be plastered across the front page of The Sun in the morning. Perhaps that’s naive. But he doesn’t actually care that much right now.

They climb into the car, finally on the way to the hotel. Shawn sits back and tilts his head against the headrest, watching the Thames go by.

Ginny shifts and slides something out of her back pocket. Shawn hears plastic and foil crackling.

“Shawn, gum?”

He turns to see her holding a packet of sugar free Dentyne Ice. He grins.

“Please,” he begs, voice shaky with unshed tears, “Please don’t leave. Please. I know it’s fucking unfair to ask. I hate myself a little. I really do. But, fuck, please, I can’t do it without you, Gin. Not because… because I’d forget to fuckin’ put on pants in the morning if you didn’t tell me to, but because you’re… Jesus Christ, you’re my best friend. I can’t lose you like this.”

The conversation the night before had been quick and so, so painful. It had to be, coming out of nowhere like that. Ginny was blindsided, having woken up naked under him in the morning with his lips on her ear only to shuffle off to her own hotel room for the first time in two months because he wanted to focus on his career and their relationship had become… too distracting.

She really can’t blame him for that, she supposes. Things had gotten pretty mad. They were obsessed with each other, refused to spend even a few hours away. It was easily negotiable, given that he was the artist and she was his personal assistant. But the energy around them for those two months, it was like an overstretched coil waiting to snap and send the whole team back to 14th century Verona for a full-on Romeo and Juliet scenario.

Snap it did. Ginny was packing quietly in a daze, ready to tell Andrew she was leaving, that she was sorry, but that he’d made the choice. Instead Shawn knocked on her door and she let him in like she always had.

Ginny’s dry cheeks sting with her tears. She sniffs and toes at the floor, locking her arms over her chest. “Don’t really want to leave, you know,” she murmurs, “This is a good opportunity for me. I’m learning a lot.”

“So don’t leave,” Shawn pleads, lurching forward. She adjusts, taking a step back. Shawn notices and shivers, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Don’t leave. Stay. I think we can do it. I honestly think we can. We were best friends first, remember?”

She remembers. She remembers being in love with her best friend until that first night in Germany where he kissed her under the table in the Hofbrauhaus and they didn’t turn back.

Until now.

I know Brits love tea but consider buying me a Ko-fi (link on my mainpage)!

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @stillinskislydia @singanddreamanyway @alone-in-madness @abigfatmess @shawnitsmutual @awkwardfangirl2014 @september-lace @accioarmenian @sinplisticshawn @mutuallynotmutual @rollingxstone @yslsaint @randi-eve

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes series

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thesoundofaghost-mp3 · 6 years ago

Text

May's tutorial on how to take 2000s looking pics! This is not just for scene and/or emo kids, although ofcourse yall can use this!

Here are a few things you can do to make pictures look like they were taken in the 2000s!

What better way to look 2000s than when you use 2000s technology?

Exemples of things you could take a pic with are: an ipod, or any mp3 player actually, 2000s looking cd players, PS2 controllers (make sure it actually looks like you're playing or believe me, someone will notice!) or xbox controller (if you use older consoles of any type, the vibe might look more 90s but if you manage you can still make it work)

If you can't take a picture next to or with 2000s technology... anything? Well maybe you can take a selfie with a fliphone, or a T Mobile Sidekick (if you have one, lucky you!) or even a Nintendo DS if you've got one of those with the camera! Mirror selfies were also a thing of the (mid?) 2000s if they were taken with an actual camera! Let's also not forget the webcam pictures!

Here's one I took for example:

Special "effects"/ Editing:

One thing that makes almost all pictures look so much more aesthetic/better: putting the flash on! I promise it works almost all of the time, the picture will look more high quality and clearer even though it is the same quality as without! If you think your outfit might not be too great or you'd like to make it look like it was taken with a low quality phone, blur the picture! It could also just look artistic, which works just as good.

As for the editing, Glitter, like edits made on Blingee, turning up the contrast, putting a filter (or a few) that give off a blue hue or darker, add in your FriendProject profile number, or your nickname in a grungy font, or photoshop yourself in front of a cute butterfly background!

The poses and angles!

Taking a picture with only this information might not be enough to make it look as 2000s as you want it to be, so now let's see another thing; the poses and the angles! Especially when you take a selfie, do not understimate the power of the "myspace angle" as you might've heard before, the super high angle from which you take the selfie, in which you could include your whole outfit. I know, out of experience, that the position in which you have to try and stand to get your whole outfit in the picture is very, VERY uncomfortable, but trust me it's worth it!

Here's an example:

Other angles/poses you could use are for example the ones in which you position the camera, phone or whatever you take your pictures with at your feet, put a timer or make someone take the picture for you, in an angle at which your feet will look bigger than your head and your whole outfit will be visible again! This one's hard to explain but here's an example, again from one of my pics because I couldn't find one from someone else: (putting "myspace picture big feet" on google, does in fact, not work)

Shoutouts from most known myspace celebs were a big thing back then, with the name of someone (or their own, partly to prove they aren't catfish) written on their hand or a piece of paper, as well as showing off fake tattoos made with sharpies, or something like "I love you!" on the palm of your head, so standing there showing it, could, somehow be a pose? I guess so... oh well, this is still something that would've been on this list!

There are many more (like for example the ones where your legs look broken as you sit on the floor, or the one where you are showing off your room plastered with posters..) but just know not to just stand there looking lost (unless that's what you're going for), be either VERY dramatic with the poses or super casual, no in betweens or you'll probably look awkward!

Dramatic makeup and hair!

Of course... To keep on being dramatic, because the 2000s very much were, (as every decade, in their own way, but you get what I mean) hair was often in crazy colors and or haircuts! Even if you were neither emo nor scene, celebrities like Christina Aguilera or Kelly Clarkson, to Matt Tuck (that's right!) had highlights in their hair, or just dyed parts of their hair, usually blonde, black or red, but chalk haircolor exists in many colors, so go crazy on that!

See here:

Not only that but side ponytails, extensions, crimped hair, face framing bangs, spiky gelled hair etc. Even if you aren't emo or scene, your hair can cover one of your eyes for the picture!

Makeup had to be very visible, especially as a scene kid or emo kid with the overflowing amount of eyeliner, and colorful mascara or anything that you could find to be original and "artsy" really, but also for any other person! Makeup looks that were usual attire were for example: LIPGLOSS, blue, purple, white or eyeshadow, frosty pink lipstick, a lot of mascara, colorful eyeliner, rosy cheeks, or lined lips (darker on the outside) but none of that would be complete without thin eyebrows! Fake tans are also a go-to if you're feeling it!

Now, if you're too scared to use hairchalk or dye your hair, and you aren't too good at makeup, no worries, you've still got other options!

Props and accessories!

Big sunglasses.. yes, even indoors! Rimmed glasses, Colored lenses, "Bug eye" sunglasses, there are many to choose from! Scarves, very unnecessary but pretty cool looking! Hoop earrings were also in! For guys too, jewelry was often worn, for example diamond earrings, shell necklaces, as well as the typical "gangsta wear", you would've guessed it: the dollar sign necklace or chunky golden chains/necklaces. They were ofcourse not first worn during the 2000s, but they were definitely still very much worn then! Other jewelry often worn were silly bands, wristbands, kandi bracelets and necklaces. You can even wear fake piercings!

As for headwear, still many to choose from, like trucker hats, both for guys and girls and anyone who'd like to wear those, bandanas, fedora hats, (do not recommend, 80% of the time you'll look awkward, but you can't know if you're part of the 20% that could rock the look if you don't atleast try, I guess) "baker boy hats" and big huge bows for all my scene beans out there. Belts. BeLtS! A lot, too much, 3 of them, or one big one, just find whatever you have and wear the goddamn belts! Fishnets! Fingerless gloves! They were very much in, and not just for scemo kids!

Not only is it about things you can wear, but also things you can use for the picture, you can look cute while holding a plush toy, (bonus points if you've got a gloomy bear, hello kitty or gir plush!) mysterious while holding a notebook/ diary of some sort or nerdy with your favorite book, but a lot of pictures get much more fun when they are super random, for example like kiki kannibal, just casually holding a lamp in her garden...

Clothing!

Now, this one will be short as I will mainly give you guys links to some articles that talk about 2000s fashion, but here's a thing: If you're going for a very "in your face" kind of style, go fully crazy lol! Scene kids get your neon green tights or red ripped skinnies out and wear all of the colors, preps wear your shiniest Playboy logo shirt, goths and emos you better wear your nicest black knee high converse, all of it!! Go fucking over the top because truly, it was rarely ever over the top in the 2000s! Also, did I mention? Cringe culture is dead, nobody cares if you somehow manage to truly go a little too far! If you're feeling yourself, don't hesitate to show a little skin, (I don't mean totally naked, duh, especially if you're a minor plz no it's usually a very bad idea) ain't nothing wrong with mini skirts or crop tops! (guys, GUYS please wear them too if you feel like it, I promise you a lot of us think that's hot okaythatsall)

Anyway, here's a few articles on the fashion/clothes! Most of these include also accessories etc but you'll find a lot about clothes!

Includes men's clothing too!

https://www.complex.com/style/best-fashion-trends-of-early-2000s/

Yes.. I know.. Buzzfeed.. But oh well, it's still showing the clothes and fashion like we need! There isn't much for guys here, but there is inspo to take from it lol!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/forgotten-early-2000s-trends

Now, I know what this one says... apparently all of these trends were"mistakes"... Well who's gonna laugh when 2000s style makes a comeback? Definitely not them, once they look back on this article!

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/fashion/g2898/worst-2000s-fashion-trends/

This article includes men's fashion and also includes a link to buy the items! That is, if you've got 35$ to spend on a cap for example... Which I don't, but that's okay, it's got pretty good examples of the fashion!

https://spy.com/gallery/2000s-fashion-trends-throw-back-style/

And since I couldn't find a good article on 2000s alt fashion, I made a Pinterest board with a few exemples for Scene, Emo, Goth, Mallgoth/Goth, Visual Kei and Cybergoth! There isn't a lot yet, but you'll get the general idea :)

https://www.pinterest.fr/mayskelly/2000s-alt-styles/

I hope you guys like it, and try it! I think I may share my favorite attempts if enough people do it on my instagram story and here, and tumblr as well if anyone participates in this!

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yuhoht-t · 5 years ago

Note

For the ask thing do 1 through 50 please because you're cool

OH my god. WHO ARE YOU because i Hate you now omg

but okay here we go:

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

BI! i am bi bi bi :)

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

right now? here in the year of our lord 2020? at 9:25 am?? march 11th? nothing, my brain is a little preoccupied atm with the absolute stupidity of the american college system

3. Ever done any drugs?

i have not, sometimes i want to, but then simply do not

4. What piercings do you want?

i kinda want snake bites? or maybe a second ear piercing. but im not really sure

5. How many people have you kissed?

uno

and honestly? it kinda sucked?

6. Describe your dream home.

a cottage situated in a nice little cliff-side meadow, a beautiful forest to one side and the ocean to the other. I have a small little garden for herbs and easier to grow staples. Maybe a couple of chickens. There’s a whole room, maybe even a whole other structure, dedicated to just being my art studio. It almost definitely smells like oil paint and graphite. There also has to be a large bay window with a seat, two floor to ceiling bookcases on either side.

There’s a lot more I could say, but basically look up cottagecore/goblincore/dark academia and that’s basically it

7. Who are you jealous of?

anyone who gets to go to art school

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

usually it’s a mix between parks n rec and the office

9. Do you watch porn?

i am an adult

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

oohohohohahahahaaaaaa, yes. many actually

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

question. am i immune to any diseases in the region? if yes. can i just take the teleporter and go wherever? there are too many places i want to go

but really i suppose, Ireland? I mean it is March

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

that someone likes me

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

no i don’t think so. it just kinda sounds a little uncomfortable. but it is pretty hot i won’t lie

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

art school. i mean i’d have to see if i get in first! but then after that i’d give the rest to my mom. i owe her and if i ever get the chance i will be paying her back.

15. Are you in a relationship?

bitch? who do you think i am? what do you think i look like? of course fucking not.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

[this image violates tumblrs guidelines]

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

yes. is it petty? also yes. but it’s affecting my sleep and how comfortable i am in my environment so i think actually kind of justified.

18. What tattoos do you want?

i want a design with poppies and lavender and maybe my mountain, and i’d like to have it, well, let me see if i can find a picture

like this

but it’s kind of a pipe dream since tattoos are expensive and hurt lol

or this:

AHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAA

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

so, heres the thing, i don’t technically mind my name. it’s a good name. it’s gender neutral both in long form and my preferred nickname. BUT. it is very common and i certainly don’t actually love it all that much. However, i have no fucking clue what i’d change it to.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

internet culture. i don’t usually talk about it, but i absolutely love culture and specifically the cultures that have been cultivated from the internet. it’s so cool!

21. Describe your best friend.

okay, so, she’s amazing. extremely talented and smart. and honestly has the coolest style of anyone i’ve ever met. the biggest gemini bitch you’ve ever met and i love her for it. she knows so much about horror and movies and is just really informed about so many interesting things. And she’s not afraid to get into politics and religion and all that “taboo” stuff. she’s actually taught me so many things! she’s great n i don’t get to gush often about the people i genuinely like in this world so yeah. also, she HOT AS SHIT N EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS DUMB IF THEY DON AGREEEEEE

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

ahahhhahahhahahahhaaaaa no.

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

- Ghost

- Gorillaz

- Phoebe Bridgers

- Orville Peck

- FIDLAR

(okay, so I was doing this and really there are too many, this is not a great list but I think it covers the range of taste???)

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan, Italy (for the art), and ummm, probably Iceland (for the continental divide)

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

this gonna sound so sad but, literally, all of my roommates leave and i get to spend it in solitude doing whatever the fuck i want without having to worry about being watched (that’s what we call paranoia kids!)

26. What’s your favorite season?

it depends. but right now i’m jonesin’ for some good ol’ fashioned summer thunderstorms.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

me bitch, next question

nah i’m kidding, maybe my little brother? or maybe my friend Shareeza? there is somethin about that girl that just makes me die every time she talks

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

maybe because it’s been a long time, but like, Frozen? idk. it’s what my intuition is telling me so ima go with that.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

you know i’m not really sure at this moment, but straight up, this is now an open call for anyone who wants to message me, shy or not, i promise i’ll answer lol ^-^

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

paper, obviously. who do you think i am?

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

maybe Spiderwick Chronicles? I love the idea of being able to actually see the fey. or really any world where there’s a hint of me possibly being able to actually have magic or a magical experience.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

ALL

34. What’s your coffee order?

carmel mocha, if i’m paying for coffee i want it to taste like pure caffeinated sugar

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

maybe? i have a hard time deciphering those types of feelings

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

don’t got none. for past crushes tho? i’m not really sure.

37. Have any tattoos?

38. Do you drink?

39. Are you a virgin?

i don’t have to answer this, do i?

(that basically is an answer)

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

again, hard time with understanding romantic feelings.

41. How many followers do you have?

642

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

i feel a liiitlel uncomfortable with this question. and on those grounds i don’t think i’m gonna answer it.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

not killing myself :)

44. Do you read erotica?

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

too fresh bro, mmmm can’t open up those wounds quite yet

46. How many people do you follow?

293

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

maybe Jameela Jamil? she’s just so pretty and smart

or maybe David Tennant cause like. i’ve had a crush on him since my doctor who days so really, why not

48. Describe your ideal partner.

willing to go to battle for and with me. and against me.

also it’s important that they’re understanding of me and my struggles, as well as accepting my points of view as my truth and not belittle me for having them. And be willing to give there all in these aspects because I will give my all in these ways for them. That’s just how i work.

49. Who do you text the most?

oh idk, maybe my mom?

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

clouds. and wind. i like to feel like i’m gonna blow away

okay, jeezus, this was a lot. I hope one of you fuckers actually reads this

#about a mouse #ask a mouse

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vanaera · 6 years ago

Text

Exchanging Gifts Across the World

Synopsis | Gift exchanges have been a tradition between you and Namjoon. It’s cool, really. He gets to give you something for Christmas and he gets to have something that always manages to warm his heart for the cold. But, today, Namjoon will try to kick it up a notch, especially when his bigtime celebrity crush Y/N is the same fucking person as SunnyY/N, his best hoe in the world. Gotta impress the lady, as they say.

(aka Sun + Moon Christmas Special!)

Genre |Fluff with one hell of humor

Wordcount | 4k+ (I’m sorry)

A/N | Hi! So my plan to make online friend!namjoon + idol!you drabbles that started from Unread Messages is fucking happening, so please read that first to understand this. Tumblr is being shitty but you can find it in my blog. Just click the masterlist link in my description to view it. Oh, and this is unedited :) ...so yeah, enjoy reading and Happy Holidays everyone! Track my tag #sweet holidays for more of my Christmas specials!

It’s the Yuletides season and to say Namjoon is in deep shit would be an understatement. The shit he is in is deeper than the big ass snow pile on the streets he trudges on on the way to the university.

It starts with his alarm clock going off in the ass crack of dawn, two hours earlier than the six o’clock call time he steadfastly arranged for two years straight. It was an actual mistake on his part when he went to sleep last night groggy at eleven from his tutoring sessions and his finger mistook “4” for “6,” but in his current situation, Namjoon thinks it was the greatest blessing in disguise.

Every December, Namjoon has this tradition with you where you would send each other Christmas gifts overseas and chat each other on Send Me every 20th of December before you both open it at the same time. It was a really great tradition. Namjoon get to have exchange gifts with his favorite person in the world and it was a very great heart warmer that arms him with enough heat to pack along his bags when he leaves for home for the holidays.

The thing is, it was easier back then.

SunnyY/N 9:47 PM

Hey it’s December

MonJoon 9:47 PM

Yeah, what about it?

SunnyY/N 9:48 PM

Wanna exchange gifts with me?

It was a month right after Aym a BaBe, now SunnyY/N, randomly messaged him on Send Me to ask him to listen to you while you, a complete stranger, open up to him about your problems and now you’re here, wanting to exchange gifts? Namjoon thinks you’re really weird. Before he can reply, a notification pops off.

SunnyY/N 9:50 PM

It’s ok if you don’t want to

SunnyY/N 9:50 PM

I mean like, I’m a stranger so yeah. I totally get you. Sorry for bothering you :(

Namjoon bites his lip. He doesn’t know why the hell his heart feels like its strings have been tugged out of tune. Maybe it’s because of your triple sad faces or maybe… you messaged him on some November midnight ago that gave him a glimpse of your problems. Namjoon knows denying this just feels…not right. Maybe it’s because that same midnight when you talked about how sad you are with your situation and how you can’t tell other people what you feel reminded him of his current problems in the uni: friend-less, frustrated, and unsatisfied–all centered around a lifestyle he never dreamt of having if he had not accepted the Biology program just to step on the holy floors of his dream university. He never knew chasing for his dream program, Music Composition, would be too hard, especially when his first attempt to shift was rejected. Overloading on general courses just to catch up with the students in his supposed program was never a bright idea of his freshmen days but he was just desperate and now, here he is, tired of everything and everyone.

Except you. Which is boggling the hell out of him.

Anyway, Namjoon mutters, “Fuck it,” and lets his fingers dance on his screen.

MonJoon 9:51 PM

No, I mean, you’re not bothering me. I wanna do exchange gifts, too.

SunnyY/N 9:53 PM

You do?

MonJoon 9:54 PM

Yeah, why not?

December 15 marks the first time Namjoon went out freezing in the chilly winter air wearing a coat he just thrifted in a dollar shop to go to Paperdreams, the bookstore just a five minute walk from his dorm. The shop’s rustic interior was a leftover trace of the countryside with the tangerine lighting provided by the overhead hanging lamps and the mahogany wood of the tables and cases that held books and handcrafted stationery materials. A potted gardenia plant was standing proud by the entrance, its hardy, pale pink, petals a contrast to the leaveless trees under the white season. It’s a nice ambiance to gray and white walls he’s been long exposed to.

“May I help you sir?”

Namjoon looks at his side to address the lady on the counter, a middle aged woman with a tender smile on her face. “Uhh..Um…I’m just gonna look for something that’s gift-able,” Namjoon shakes his head, almost slapping himself at the stupid choice of words. “Umm…something that I can give to a friend–for Christmas, yeah.”

“Hmm, what are your friend’s interests? We can start from there.”

Namjoon unconsciously puts his hands together and almost wrung them, a mannerism he does when he’s nervous and instead bit his lip. Friend? Can he call you a friend? He doesn’t even know your preferences other than being a fan of Y/N and music and this info he learned from you is still vague as he hasn’t even grasped around what kind of genre you like. “Uuh-um-uh I-I don’t know her preferences that well yet so…I’m not quite sure.”

The lady leaves the counter and flashes him a smile. “That’s okay. I can help you find something,” she beckons him to follow here in one of the aisles.

As he passes through the aisles of bookcases, Namjoon can’t help but scan the books and journals lined up on the wooden stands, all almost made by authors he’s never heard of before. The Killing of the Lilacs, Butterflies and White Walls, The Dream of the Common Language–this is a selection he’s never encountered before.

“You’re a bookworm, hmm?”

Namjoon closes the distance the woman has passed onto the next set of aisles positioned against the lateral of the shop. “Uhm-yes…I’m just fascinated because I’ve never read any one of those.”

“They’re good books, I assure you,” the lady says, grinning. Namjoon thinks the wrinkles painted by age on the corners of her eyes were a great contrast to the youthfulness in her irises. “I’ve read popular books before but what I felt while flipping through their pages cannot compare to those books,” she gestures to the aisle. “Being unpopular just somehow makes what they say truly genuine. Those authors have no one to impress, nothing to fake; just raw feelings and words.”

Namjoon’s lips stretch into a smile, the first real one in the day. He knows what she says. Being a loyal follower to the rising solo artist Y/N is quite a similar feat. The way she produces the acoustic melodies synchronized with lo-fi hiphop beats, sometimes upbeat, is a really weird mix he’s never imagined he would appreciate. Her vocal technique ranging from R&B to dreamy pop is astounding and the lyrics she writes is just too poetic and emotionally-packed, damn it, she can write a song about his broken ass piggy bank and it would still be beautiful–

“Anyway son, you can look through this,” the lady brings his attention back to her and back to the bookcase. “They’re prose books and journals, a safe option for someone you would like to get to know more.”

“Oh uhm, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it; I really like assisting people with choosing and preparing gifts. Not everyone manages to spare a look at another person anymore, much less spend the time to buy someone something worthwile. The Christmas spirit is rare and I’d like to indulge in it as much as possible. Haahh,” the lady sighs, “I talked too much again. I’m gonna go back to the counter, okay? Just call for me when you need assistance.”

Namjoon nods, and lets his eyes continue eyeing the Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. Needless to say, he purchases the book, heads to DHL just a street away and ships it to the address you gave him.

A brown package arrives on his doorstep on the 19th of December and on the following day, he goes online with you and tears the wrapping away to reveal The Dream of A Common Language and white headphones standing out from the red festive paper.

MonJoon 10:46 PM

Oh my god, you’re making me cry, hoe. I just – like saw a piece of it on Google Reads and planned on buying it a week before and now, it’s here?!!!

MonJoon 10:46 PM

OMYGOD I JUST CALLED YOU HOE I’M SORRY

SunnyY/N 10:47 PM

IT’S OKAY DON’T WORRY! I actually am thankful I got your preferences right. And also, thank you! I’ve never heard of any Rupi Kaur before. I’ll be sure to give you updates!

A week later, you messaged him, raving about the book, and eternally thanking him for giving it to you. Namjoon never knew his lips could be pulled into a smile all day long as he stared at the screen of his phone to the point that he managed to shut his eyes at ten, eyeglasses still perched on top of his nose and your message still flashed on his screen.

“Thanks so much, Joon. The healing part got me really emotional. I never knew it would affect me so much…I just feel really comforted and just– thank you so much.”

A week later, Y/N releases a new single, Piece Me Together, and Namjoon’s smile stays for the next few days.

Namjoon planned that the following Decembers will follow the same suit. Every 12th, he’ll walk to Paperdreams, pick a gift of his choice, ship it through DHL, and wait at his home for his brown box sometime around the 20th or 21st, a couple of days convenient before he’ll take a trip to his home. He never thought this gift exchanges will turn out to be the thing he most looks forward to every Holiday Season. The picking of gifts, handwriting short notes on Christmas Cards, and shipping it and waiting for his gift to reach your door makes him reminisce his carefree childhood days. It makes his heart feel contented too that he gets to express his gratitude to you for being the best person out there for him. It’s a wonder how tangible you feel when your physical presence is only emanated by your messages. Maybe it’s because you made him stronger in dealing with life or how you managed to make him smile everyday–he wasn’t really sure. All he knows is that you’re his bestfriend and he hopes you’re also finding solace in his presence.

However, he’s supposed plan did not happen at all one year ago. Namjoon didn’t have much time to spare because of the hectic before-Christmas-break-week so when the inked “December 12” on top of his notebook paper loomed over his head, he almost freaked out. He can’t just break off the tradition; he can’t leave you hanging. So around 10:31, right after his tutoring session in the library, Namjoon went to Corner Shop, a stop shop right across Paperdreams and slipped in a set of socks with a cute duck design, because you love ducks, into the packaging, and sent it to DHL which was already in the middle of closing. It was a pretty shitty gift on his part but Namjoon did not regret it that day. That’s the only time he was free, Paperdreams is already closed, and you love ducks, so you’ll like it right? He only regretted his choice when December 22 came along with his package and lo and behold, a fucking Gucci sweater and a flabbergasting Louis Vuitton coat is revealed by the torn Christmas wrapper. Holy fucking hell.

MonJoon 10:49 PM

OMYGOD HOE

SunnyY/N 10:50 PM

HI HOE! LIKED IT?

MonJoon 10:50 PM

Umm, I’m shocked. Of course I like it but this. This is fucking expensive, hoe. This like costs a liver and a kidney. And I got you…something that’s not even worthy.

SunnyY/N 10:51 PM

I gave you that because I wanted to, Joon. I won’t be spending on just someone, it’s you, and you’re worth it. And no, oh my god, don’t call the socks unworthy! I LOVE THEM, SEE I’M ALREADY WEARING IT!!! \(>u<)/ \(>u<)/ \(>u<)/

- see 1 photo

I never knew you remembered small details of my preferences, hoe. This is really the first time someone got really pays close attention to the shits I sputter. So you do you baby boy, and smile for me.

MonJoon 10:52 PM

Okay, I’ll smile. See, the smile is there.

-see 1 photo

Although the guilt on my part will still reside in me. I promise I’ll do better next time. Also, it’s kinda weird you’re referring to me as baby boy when you’re just two months older than me.

SunnyY/N 10:53 PM

Why just a picture of your mouth?

MonJoon 10:53 PM

Cause you won’t show me your face so might as well be mysterious about mine

SunnyY/N 10:54 PM

Smart ass. No need to feel guilty about anything, hoe. I know I’ll always be greater than you :P :P :P HAHAHHAHA JOKE. And!!! I can call you baby boy whenever I want. Call me baby girl? ;) ;) ;)

MonJoon 10:54 PM

Mean…and ew, no.

SunnyY/N 10:55 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Around January, Y/N lands in Incheon airport and a couple of pictures from the paparazzi revealed her sporting an oversized Prada gingham trench coat, like the queen Namjoon knows she always is. It’s only peculiar that she’s wearing blue green socks with duck print inside her platform heels, the same design he got for you. He only shrugged and blushed, over-exaggerating his mini imagination that Y/N is compatible to him because she got the same taste in his mind over and over through the whole day.

However, that is back then, completely different from now. Now, when he realized the coincidences between Y/N and your lifestyle and his gifts are no longer coincidences, but a shocking truth. Now, when his best person in the world, the person that he’s cried, ranted, and depended on, was the same fucking person as the girl he imagined he’ll marry in his stupid little fantasy. Now, when it’s the 15th of December and he still has nothing by his side to put into his package.

In the hazy four o’clock chillness surrounding his room, Namjoon knows everything has to change…except his interaction with you. He’s still queasy about how to feel around you when his infatuation for the celebrity Y/N and his plainly platonic friendship with the SunnyY/N you is completely on different poles. But whatever, all he knows that for you, he’ll still be the same MonJoon you befriended for two years. He doesn’t want you to feel you’re alone now in this friendship especially when Christmas is just around the corner.

Wrapping himself in the Louis Vuitton coat you gave to him last year, he locks his door and heads out in the cold. His wallet is heavy and warm on his breastpocket, stuffed with bills he saved from his tutoring sessions.

The windchimes sound when Namjoon lets himself in the shop. The peachy orange lighting is warm on the cold of his hands, the bookcases are colored in dark sepia almost rivaling the brownness of the hot chocolate, the gardenia by the entrance is fresh pink, and now it’s accompanied by a soft lavender aster. Paperdreams hasn’t changed at all.

“Oh hi, you’re here again!”

Namjoon’s mouth opens, looking at the lady on the counter, the one who assisted him before, in surprise. “But I-I didn’t come here last year. I mean–you remember me?”

The lady smiles, the same warm, comforting smile she gave him two years ago. “I don’t have frequent customers so when one enters, I practically remember them. I think I still got that photographic memory when I was young, huh?”

She chuckles and Namjoon gives her a timid smile. “O-ohh.”

“But anyway, I’ll really remember you. Most of the people that come here just spend a minute or a half hour to hastily grab something to buy for a gift. You’re my only customer who took his time choosing for a gift.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, son. Quite a long time at that,” the lady giggles. “I’ve never seen someone mull over what book to buy for a friend for two hours. Must have been a special person for you, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon smiles, “she’s special. Very special.” The warmth of his face was personifying itself as the blush that runs from his cheeks to his ears. Namjoon coughs right after letting the things he uttered sink in. What the hell is he doing uttering sappy shit in front of a stranger? He tucks his scarf closer to his mouth, bashful and suddenly feeling hot amidst the freezing season. You’re special, that’s for sure…but that special? The special kind of special? He doesn’t fucking know. Hell, he doesn’t even make sense now–

“Indeed she is. I hope you can find what you’re looking for here. Just call me when you need assistance, son.”

“T-thank you,” Namjoon mutters before rushing to the aisles. Why the lady resembles a mother asking her son about his first ever crush? He doesn’t fucking know. Namjoon burries his face for a millisecond in his scarf. God, he’s a mess; a blushing kind of mess and he doesn’t know why.

Going through books upon books, journals and stationery upon another, Namjoon seems to find nothing that can match what he wants for you. He already spent a whole ass hour jumping from bookcases and bookcases and just–he feels this shop has the answer to his dilemma and he already felt that the moment he entered but why can’t he find anything? Why–

Namjoons stops in his tracks. Why can’t he provide the answers himself? An idea pops in his head like a sudden flash of light and Namjoon scurries to the counter and grabs a couple of Christmas cards. The lady may have looked confused at his choice but when he bids her goodbye as he exits, the knowing smile on her face is enough of an encouragement that he practically has the answer in his hands. All he has to do is to make them work.

The 12th transgresses to the 13th and to the 14th and six more days before a familiar package is delivered by his doorstep. The midnight nightsky is a mix of navy blues and violet indigos, a contrast to the bright white light filling the corners and spaces of Namjoon’s room. His feet pads on the flooring in excited skips, his fingers swift on the screen of his phone.

MonJoon 10:47 PM

HEY HOE, TIME TO OPEN GIFTS

SunnyY/N 10:47 PM

WAIT OMG I HAVEN’T FOUND MY PACKAGE YET

MonJoon 10:48 PM

Surprise, Y/N. It’s not a package. Here’s your gift. Merry Christmas!

- Open link

Let’s video call before you click on that and I tear this cover up?

The video call alert tone only lasts for five seconds and before he knows it, the screen of his phone is displaying your room, the one he saw in his birthday, and you’re there staring at him. All pretty in your dandelion sweater, cheeks pink and you’re hair tousled. Namjoon will still never get used to the image of you staring at nothing but him.

“What is this, Joon,” you chuckle. “Oh my god, this is kinda terrifying.”

“I swear to you, it’s not! Now let’s both open our gifts in the count of five, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Five.” Namjoon looks at you, you’re staring at the corner of your screen, hand already positioned to click the link.

“Four.” You looks so cute giggling. Namjoon stifles his own with a bite of his lip.

“Three.” You sneak him a glance and Namjoon stills and he tells you to just focus on the link. You must not see the blushing mess he is right now.

“Two.” You didn’t heed to what he said and just looked at him. He mouths something you didn’t catch and Namjoon smiles.

“One!” The sound of the tearing paper resounds within his room and Namjoon has yet to zero in on your gift–a rolex watch and a Murakami book that will surely blow his mind– before the sound of a melody and a beat starts on your side of the world. Namjoon lets the warmth in his chest spread all over his body.

“We’re born in the moonlight and daytime at the same hour.”

Start and end our day at the same minute.

Live and die in the moments at the same second.

But we’re not different, you and me.

For we live in each other’s presence,

Die in each other’s absence.

Still confusing, but you get the essence, right?

Haah, I just wanna live with you

Breathe the same air as you

Have me as close to you

But in the meantime it’s December

And you’re all and everything I remember

So have a merry Christmas with me

Through the screen, through the phone

Everything virtual; real and never alone

Yeah, we’ll never be alone

Merry Christmas, my only friend

Merry Christmas, my best person

You’re never alone and so am I

‘Cause I got you and you got me

And we’re everything we’ll ever want.”

Everything and all we’ll ever need.

Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

The beats faze into silence and when you’re not saying anything at all. Namjoon starts. “I-I- you know how I make music from time to time and I just thought it would be really nice to gift you one- exert the same effort as you in these exchanges, and I-I know it sounds scratchy but-“

“Are you kidding, Joon?” you cut him off, eyes wide and cheeks redder than before. Namjoon shuts up and imagines the color painted on the apple of your cheeks is not because of the cold but beause of him. “I-fuck, this is fucking beautiful, I’m–”

“Speechless?” he supposes.

You nod, tucking your shaking fingers beneath the table and away from his view. “Yeah. This is wonderful, oh my god,” you breathe out. A song? A fucking song? By him?! You’re not prepared for this, you’re not– fucking hell, your heart is still pounding a euphoric symphony in your ears and you hope it won’t be so loud as to reach his side. He can’t know how much he’s affected you already.

“You like it?”

“O-of course, Joon. Oh my god, I just have to calm down, this is– too beautiful for me.”

Namjoon laughs, throwing his head back and you have to gulp down the butterflies that tried to escape from you at the sound of his melodious laugh. He acquiesces to your reply and stays still in his chair, looking at you, smiling.

How much luck do you have in your hands right now? You practically don’t know. All you could see is your muse sitting in front of you like how you’ll imagine him to be when you write your songs. He won’t know yet, that’s for sure. With his timid smiles and the shyness that covers his face in flaring redness in your previous video calls, you need to make him comfortable first with seeing you as nothing but the same SunnyY/N he befriended. But he’s making it so hard when he’s so handsome just…sitting there.

Gathering your senses, you fix your seat and flash him a smile. A few seconds pass before you break into a giggle and he followed suit. “God, we’re so weird.”

“Yeah, hoe, I know,” he gasps in between guffaws.

“God, you surprised me, Joon. My gift to you is nothing too special and here you are–”

He scrunches his face, still laughing. “I’m pretty sure a Rolex is not nothing too special when it will cost me another lifetime of paychecks just to afford this.”

You trip over your words. “But-but compared to this, I– look at how mess of I am and just this is art, oh my god.

“I’m still shocked, too, Y/N. I’m sure I’ll completely lose my shit once the idea of owning a fucking Rolex will sink in. Especially later when the probability of Seokjin asking me where the hell I got this watch when I’m a poor ass is not a possibility at all but a definite reality.”

“Then tell him it’s from your online friend.”

“Yeah, so he’ll push more the idea of my online girl-space-friend is actually my online girlfriend. Maybe he’ll even propose the idea you’re my sugar mommy who adores me too much.”

You choke on your spit. Online girlfriend, hell yeah you wanna be That.

Unbeknownst to your misery of stifling excited squeals of happiness, Namjoon giggles an thinks his joke is really nice and starts laughing…which is not helping especially when your heart balloons with too much affection for him, but anyway, seeing him happy makes you happy. That’s everything you need.

When the chuckles have died down and the longing gazes slipped past notice, you decide to say something sensible for the first time in the evening. The daylight in your room is competing with the darkness of his. Even when you’re entirely apart, you’ve never felt this close to a person before.

“Joon, I really love your gift. I’ve never been this grateful to a person before.”

“Me too,” he grins. “I actually have never been this happy before.”

You return his grin, heart happy at what he said. “Best Christmas ever?”

“Best Christmas ever.”

It really is the best one you’ve had and you let the thought warm your heart for days. Happiness thrums in your veins and the effect of the exchange still hasn’t worn off even after you ended the call, reluctantly on both sides might you add, in the midnight. You throw yourself on the wide expanse of your bed. Namjoon has already claimed more area in your heart than what is necessary for a friend. Revealing this truth to him will have to wait. For now, you’ll play his song over and over until your heart memorizes every single bit of it.

You’ll definitely never forget this day.

1 New Message!

SunnyY/N 4:30 AM

OH MY FUCKING GOD, HOE, YOU SENT ME CHRISTMAS CARDS TOO?!!! FILLED WITH LYRICS OF WHAT I SUPPOSE ARE MORE SONGS BY YOU

MonJoon 4:31 AM

Yes, hoe. And it’s 4 right now here. Thanks for waking me up.

SunnyY/N 4:32 AM

Oops, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep now. You’re gonna go home to Ilsan today! You need that energy!

MonJoon 4:33 AM

No, I’m up. Can’t sleep. And yeah, more songs I made for you… I hope you like them. I can’t let you hear them yet. They’re still…scratchy.

SunnyY/N 4:34 AM

I’m sure they’ll turn out great ♥♥♥

SunnyY/N 4:35 AM

And yeah, please let me know beforehand before you drop anything. You’re gonna make my heart combust again.

MonJoon 4:36 AM

I’ll try ;)

Namjoon raises his head and huffs. Make your heart combust? Not before you make his own heart burst first!

SunnyY/N 4:37 AM

Have a great day, Joon ♥♥♥

MonJoon 4:37 AM

You too. Stay safe, Y/N.

Namjoon closes his phone and stares at his ceiling. It’s winter but why does it feel like summer? He’s feeling hot and flustered all over-Goddamn it, what are you doing to him?!

#bangtan bookclub #bangtanarmynet #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts fluff #s+m #namjoon scenarios #namjoon reactions #sweet holidays 2018 #happy holidays #namjoon x you #bts x you

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steve0discusses · 6 years ago

Text

Yugioh S2 Ep 36 Part 2: Pegasus Lives Every Artist’s Worst Reocurring Nightmare

Normally I don’t do more than two posts on a weekend but considering the last post was just overflow on color theory and sort of a mini post (which I was pleasantly surprised so many people liked, thanks for the kind comments on that random color theory aside), and also considering that I try not to do work on the weekend and I’m just kinda bored, here’s the second part of Ep 36.

Lets do a series recap shall we?

-Yugi Muto is three people (this is including a chunk of Bakura which just...lives there but doesn’t do anything)

-Odion is pretending to be Marik

-Marik is pretending to be Namu

-Tea is possessed by Bakura’s ghost

-Ryou Bakura is no longer possessed, but got hella shanked and passed out on Kaiba’s blimp, so we don’t know yet if he was actually British or if that was just a ghost thing.

-Serenity is Joey’s Sister and she Actually Truly Exists although I have kept close track and no one has yet to tell Kaiba who’s sister she is.

-Duke Devlin is just permanently here now, taking the place of Tea Gardner for “Character the writers have no freakin idea what to do with”

-Grandpa passed out a few episodes ago but I think the show forgot.

-Ishizu is here and is hiding from Marik for her dear life despite the fact she still thinks he’s a good boy.

-Shadi showed up to save Tristan and Duke although Shadi has never spoken a word to either of them and has no idea who they are at all.

There we go. A cliff notes-version all in one place. It’s a lot to remember.

Now we’re ready for another round of exciting duel prep.

That’s right, Shadi’s here, and he’s ready to dump a lot of plot on us. Which is why I felt like it would be nice to get a summary up to now because now we’re going to get even more nonsense we have to remember in this kid’s show that I had no idea would be this complicated when I started capping it.

(read more under the cut)

Can we talk about the knot Shadi is using here on that Ankh?

What is that?

OK, I just wanted everyone to look at that and then just...wonder with me,

Anyway, if you were looking for some explanation this episode, this is not that episode, because Shadi is here, and he just...never feels like fully explaining anything. He only ever feels like adding more and more to our bucket of Lore like it’s the 5th book of Harry Potter.

That’s right, this episode is a return to Pegasus, who I do miss. I mean Marik is fine, all in all, but I do miss how Pegasus knew what he was actually doing. I kinda miss my villain who was also a functioning adult.

Anyway, while Pegasus was searching the dunes of Egypt for Egyptian art to make OC’s of and add to his collection, Shadi and he had a very awkward reunion. Bear in mind these two haven’t spoken since Shadi fused Pegasus’ face with a haunted table weight.

And like, here’s the thing about Pegasus--he has the most reason of anyone on this show to not trust Shadi. Yet, now he’s going to follow Shadi into a hole. Literally follow Shadi into a dark and scary hole where no one would find his body.

Thing I wasn’t expecting from this show: Marik’s family is mole people????

OK…

I mean...I guess we’ll just gloss over that.

I mean...I guess I’ve never really thought about it but like...yeah they have to take care of a tomb and the tomb is underground so they just...hang out down here most of the time. Guess that explains how Marik ended up kind of albino-blonde.

Anyway, it’s here that we see a familiar relief sculpture—Apparently Ishizu just excavated her own sacred tomb and was like “lets ship this to Japan to screw with Seto Kaiba.” Not like I blame her, Seto is very easy to screw with.

But here she is being like “I’m this incredible Egyptologist give me your money!” when all she did was loot herself. Well...loot the Pharaoh, I guess, but he’s dead so wtv.

And so, after running around an ancient tomb collecting curses like fleas, he boards a business class, awkwardly shares an armrest with his photographer who equally refuses to give up the armrest (like what the hell is this armrest situation?) and has to endure our colorist’s favorite shade of chartreuse.

Purple/chartreuse is a pretty solid color combo, not gonna lie, but it is the last thing I ever want to see in a plane.

Also, Croquet is back. I guess this was before Pegasus bought an island, and it’s this episode we start to see why he might have wanted to flee the States.

Sometimes I forget this show is based on a horror anime, and this was an episode that brought us back to basics. Like, this is something I would absolutely expect to happen in Season Zero.

I cannot believe that this children’s show had a darkroom murder scene. The audacity. And not just a darkroom murder we also get this type of murder shortly after,

How do you go from the darkroom to this!?

The older I get, the more I would gladly welcome a Huge Sky Dragon over the actual drama I have to deal with on the reg. Please, please let me put Huge Sky Dragon on the ballot. We will let him have Salesforce Tower, he clearly comes with electricity and rain clouds and California desperately needs both those things.

Downside to Huge Sky Dragon unfortunately, is that he kills you.

So, in the classic horror protagonist archetype, Pegasus puts on his favorite shades of beige, he goes into an isolated room where no one can save him, and he reaches for that good ol hubris. Since, in his mind, he has a millennium eye, he’s the all powerful Pegasus, what could hurt him?

You gotta love that he’s such a purist that he paints an itty bitty card on a 6000% bigger canvas. Love that classic illustration nod right there. (and not gonna lie, I would kill for Pegasus’ studio. Damn. Look at it.)

Also look at this in the next cap! He can paint something that’s not a monster or his dead wife--is that a completely normal still life of some random purple flowers back there behind him? What’s he doing painting those??? He’s off killing 1 or 2 people a day in his human sacrifice chamber why’s he painting lilies in pots like everyone’s Mom during Wine ‘n Paint night?

Dude, does Pegasus go to Wine ‘n Paint night? I mean he would, right? Like he would be the first there with a huge ass bottle of wine/juice and be like “I am ready to sip, paint, and gossip about everybody’s husband.” Yo, he’d be killer at Wine ‘n Paint night. Like, I would never be Pegasus’ friend but I would absolutely paint some dumbass flowers in the same room as him as he gets tipsy on margaritas and starts going off about the Great British Bake Off.

And, much like I do when I finish most of my art at 2 AM, he passes out directly after and has anxiety laden dreams about what he just painted for the rest of the evening.

So lets get this straight, if you reproduce this image in any way, let it be traditional, digital, camera, or whatever—you will arouse the God Card ghosts and be straight up The Ring murdered. Unless, you tattoo it to a person’s back, then apparently you’re cool. Also, what the hell was Ishizu doing bringing this thing to a museum? Like yeah it’s in a restricted section but they had like no security on those doors so it’s like, girl—anyone who takes a selfie here will be dead. What else are museums for except avenues for selfies? Way to curate a museum, Ishizu. You had one job.

Also does that mean that if Marik photobombs people without his shirt on that they super die? That kinda sucks a lot, no wonder he wants to get rid of Pharaoh. Marik just wants to go to the beach without having to wear a hoodie and getting a weird tan.

Oi, hashtag relatable, amiright?

Anyway, Pegasus realizes he can’t post this art on main, so he decides to give it to Ishizu to bury it for him. Essentially, he put on his brother’s tumblr because he’s trying to be a professional here but like, who are we joking, the guy draws kids art for dollars. His friends, much like my friends, are full aware of what our sketchbook looks like.

After hearing this weird story, Pharaoh decides to take over and give some closing remarks.

Yugi got TWO huge bottles of mystery purple moisturizer??? Maybe one is just full of hair gel.

Man, Seto had him double covered, he knew--he knew Yugi was nuts for products.

I wonder if it’s full of LA Looks.

I appreciated that Pharaoh might have a physical body but he still enjoys spooking people like a ghost should.

Well, I mean.

So many questions here, but I assume we’re going to learn more about it later? Like why the hell Marik is...in a tomb? As a baby? With a...flower wreath?

What even is this show. Don’t put babies in tombs!

I don’t even know why Shadi even bothered showing up here. Like Ishizu already knows “it’s happening,” she has a future necklace.

Did Shadi show up to every single person on in this ship, Roland and Kaiba included, before actually going to the one place he needed to go?

Man. Phallic necklace. Did they not know about goatse in the early 00’s? Please don’t look that up if you don’t know what it is. I just.

Phallic necklace, please. You’re killing me.

Anyway, Shadi sees a chance to make a change and fix some things with the one person on this ship who desperately needs fixing, and while he’ll save Tristan and Duke and tell Yugi all about his history and etc—actually confronting Bakura? No thanks. Shadi will stay in his safe keyblade power place where no one can see or hear him, not even Bakura.

Not sure why any of the doctors haven’t picked up on Tea being weird as hell yet, but like...compared to the Kaibas and everyone else, I guess possessed Tea is the most normal person on this flying boat.

But that’s all for now, next week we see if they actually start dueling or if instead, even more people from S1 show up on this boat.

If you just got here, we’re like over halfway through S2, so here’s a link to read everything in chrono order from S1 Ep1, have fun.

#Yugioh #Yugioh recap #photo recap #S2 Ep36 #yugi muto #joey wheeler #Maxamillion Pegasus #Shadi #Croquet #Bakura #Tea Gardner #Ishizu #Pegasus really effed everything up when he majored in art huh

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boredzoomerpire · 3 years ago

Text

Found a nice ask meme on questionslisting, good.

Get to know me

1. Name: Lucian Michaelis

2. Age: 21

3. City that you live in: Won't say the city, but it's California.

4. What do most people not know about you? I'm not American by birth. Oh yeah, also the vampire thing. But I figure more people know that, bizarre as that is to think about.

5. What do most people know you for? I dunno. Being the baby-faced guy with two cats who doesn't go out in the sun. You'd have to ask my neighbors.

6. Hobbies: Gaming, writing, reading, singing. Dancing, somewhat.

7. What are your passions? Writing poetry and tending to cats. Music in general.

8. What do you search for in a significant other? A big heart and a sweet smile. Nice figure would be a plus, but ah well.

7. What are you most proud of? My poetry.

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? I spent hours talking to my cats last night. Unless you mean love in *that* sense. Forgot that one.

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? I collect video games.

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. See the Taj Mahal and the Pyramids, write dialog for a video game, find the love of my life, find a way to eat something again, can't think of more.

11. What was the last thing you learned? How to post something on this blasted website.

12. How many relationships have you been in? Three.

13. Turn ons: Bright eyes, sweet smile, sense of humor, so on.

14. Turn offs: An empty cranium or an empty conscience.

15. Favorite food: none

16. Favorite drink: take a guess.

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? A puppet show

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Quite optimistic.

19. Do you sleep during class? Yes.

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? My computer. I pieced it together, but it can't be less than a few grand.

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? Old flip phone. Worthless now, but it still works well and so I can keep an Italian number so my grandparents in Europe can call.

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? A lot.

23. Text or call? Text.

24. Opinion on long distance? Not sure.

25. What is your definition of success? Being happy to wake up.

26. Favorite song? Too many to list

27. Favorite artist? Possibly Abney Park, not sure though.

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? None.

29. When was the last time you read for fun? Today.

30. Favorite flower? Peonies and roses.

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? A car. My Honda is as old as I am.

32. Any guilty pleasures? Corny pop songs.

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? I'd love to look slightly less like a kid.

34. What do you search for in a friend? I dunno. What happens happens.

35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month? Didn't keep count.

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? Work.

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? Destiny has no morals.

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? I can probably regenerate my eye better than my heart.

39. How many green shirts do you own? None. Green isn't my cup of tea.

40. Do you like anime? Sorta.

41. What do you invest the most time in? Gaming.

42. What was the name of the last book you read? The Book Thief. Brilliant.

43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone? You like someone's superficial manners and appearance, and love someone's flaws.

44. Where are you most productive? At my desk with some music in my ears.

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. Talking, drinking tea, gaming.

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. Reading, listening to music, gaming.

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? Sure, when everyone's either dead or too tired of this shit.

48. Do you have any allergies? I used to be allergic to mosquitoes. No really. It wasn't fun. Oh yeah, and wasps.

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? I cussed at Diane a couple hours ago. Coffins aren't scratching posts. Neither are arms

50. What was the last promise you made? I promised a friend I'd babysit their dog.

51. What was your last dream about? Waking up in a morgue. Fuck that nightmare.

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? Not sure.

53. How many countries have you visited? Italy, the United States, Scotland--that makes 3.

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) Writing.

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? Yesterday Tommy said my outfit looked nice.

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? I'm the one with the over the top sense of style.

57. Do you consider yourself mature? No.

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? None. Yet.

59. What is your favorite quote? None in particular.

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? Don't hurt cats, don't be an ass, gift me an article of clothing at least once.

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? Getting Diane to tolerate Sardine.

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? Not really.

63. What are your goals for life? To find love and travel the Earth

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? Not even sure I am

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. | Not sure, truth be told. Possibly Vivec City from The Elder Scrolls. Dunno why, it seems cool.

66. What were you like in 2013? 8 years ago... oh god, I was a 13-year-old. 8th grade. Detentions on the daily, my stupid eggy ass saw confrontation as the "MaNlY" thing to do. Fucking hell, why did you have to dig that up? Nobody deserves to hear tales of stupid little boy Lucian.

67. Do you have a job? Yep. Graveyard shift at the nearby pharmacy. Dull, but I've got to have it.

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. Ah yes, guy named Tommy. He's trying to break into acting now and starting to see some results. When we were kids, he and his sister staged a whole-ass puppet show for my birthday. Didn't tell me. I smile to this day when I think about it

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? Making people more open-minded, that's for sure.

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? ...I've been pulling all-nighters every day for months now.

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? Spotify does it for my favorite website. Lots of music.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? I don't much care for a million dollars. So long as I can pay rent and packs, I'm fine.

73. Does money equal happiness? Nah. I'm about ten times happier now scraping by than I was when I lived with my family and had all the money in the world.

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? Often, but I don't really keep count.

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? I haven't kept count of that either. Often. I'm an emotional guy.

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? An Italian joke about the Last Supper.

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? This morning. Yay on the US being first in the medal rankings of the Olympics. Slightly less yay on Italy being 10th

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? "Good afternoon!" Everything past that sounds like too much of a hassle.

79. What is your favorite animal? Cats and bats.

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? Ask someone who isn't dead.

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? Dunno.

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? I used to sleep pretty regularly, midnight to seven or eleven to six. The vampire thing isn't helping my sleep schedule any, though. I'm awake past 3 PM, and don't usually get over 5 hours of sleep.

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? Nah, I've met some old idiots.

84. What is your favorite clothing store? There's a little clothing shop near where I live. I'd never wanna leave.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? Don't know, can't feel the cold (though contrary to popular belief, it gets cold in California)

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? A fish tail. People weren't made to fly. Says the one who *can* fly, but I don't like it.

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? I don't know, I don't think I care enough.

88. What do you fear the most? Destruction.

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? 3.14. Yep, that's it.

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? 2019, probably. No pandemic, stuff in my life started falling into place...

91. Describe yourself in one word. Restless

92. Describe your last victory. I beat a friend of mine at Pokemon Platinum. Nobody expects bug types.

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? I've seen a few. Couple UFOs.

94. What is something you will never forget? The stars. Shit, the stars. You simply don't forget the first time you see them with eyes like mine.

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? I've already got a treasonous overly-vivid memory. Wouldn't trade it for forgetfulness.

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? Well, yes, I think I broke my arm a few weeks ago. Not entirely sure because I can't exactly go to a doctor, but pretty sure. I can say this: regenerating bone sucks even with a regenerating power.

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? Meh. I tend to keep it to "like" and "dislike".

98. Coffee or tea? Tea's tastier, but coffee's more effective.

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? Funnily enough, lately I've definitely decided to work on my life. I've been taking care to brush my hair more, and to enjoy the small things more.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? Hell if I know.

#ask meme #in character

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nostalgic-blood · 7 years ago

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so i went to california a few weeks ago and...

No, I didn’t go ham. I had friends who were like “HERE HAVE THIS” and then I had this thing, and later went to a convention and THEN I went ham.

Also this was my first non-family trip so I sort of bought a souvenir anywhere I deemed important enough to do so... America, you took a lot of my money. Oh and Disneyland too.

...also I couldn’t fit some things and forgot others in that top pic.

this wall scroll my cat is trying to destroy

a backpack I bought solely so I was able to even bring all this back, and the posters/prints I STILL needed a friend to ship back anyway...

and this cute koishi i bought, all of three of which were from fanime, yes...

Disneyland souvenirs! A friend (Souless) bought the one of the left. You may have noticed Minnie Mouse ears on the first photo! I didn’t actually get them from Disneyland itself, t’was a gift from our Disneyland veteran who led us to many-a-ride and the least amount of waittime possible, Souless’ fiance Kat. :)

And yes Inside Out is my favourite Pixar movie. Watched Coco recently which was really good, but it’s only second to Inside Out. P:

Let’s start off with my ridiculous friends who decided I needed to own more merch:

All of this was bought by my friend Cannibalfood AKA Akira who went to cons and saw stuff I might like but never got around to actually shipping them to me.. and then, came with me to California and brought this stuff. This is why Negima is on there. It’s been that long.

Oh the non-weeb stuff is souvenirs I got with her while we were in San Fran, including Alcatraz touristy photos since we have few pictures together, a taxidermy place where we each got matching stingray barbs, how romantic. The rock was my very first souvenir. I wasn’t expecting on buying anything else in that shop, so it is the most boring thing here.

Here’s a look at the Touhou artbooks!

One of two CDs, this one with best 2hu on it. I recall from reading the back that one of these has some TAMUSIC on it, which has lovely classical pieces.

Here’s a semi-random page with some artwork. I recognize some of the artists!

The other one! I cannot read anything in these books, and yes there’s plenty of text as well as the art.

Some sample of the art! I’ll have to revisit these books later but from first glance I think I prefer the art of the first book? Idk.

Next is stuff given to me by various people. The gacha is from Magus, the guy who I stayed at for about half the trip and spent the entire trip WITH since he also went down to SLO and I also shared hotels with him for Fanime. Awesome host, will do again. 10/10. I have another button from someone else but I accidentally included it wit my fanime merch pile photos, so it’ll be along shortly.

The dreamcatcher was made by SlimeMush’s friend who I paid $10 for, and for some mysterious reason it kept being returned to him every time he tried to send it to me. I couldn’t get a good pic of it alone because my cat kept attacking the feathers. SlimeMush also gave me the Flareon button! Apparently all the Eeveelutions he had went to those whose favourite was so-and-so, and apparently there’s equal amounts of love for all of them except for the two he kept himself because he loved them the most. Yes. Flareon is my favourite. :D

The gacha is a ditto + a ditto version of Sableye.

This Monster Hunter blindbox was given to me by Wolfe, whom I’ve had a few MonHun merch exchanges with so far. I also gave him a MonHun figure from another line, which I’ll elaborate further (because I gave them all out similar to SlimeMush giving out the Eeveelution buttons) and kept whichever was left behind. This is Monoblos! I didn’t fight him all too often so I don’t have much impression of it as a monster, also I thought he was white but w/e, still very cool looking to add to my collection!

Now of all my loot THIS is the stuff I really could have done without in terms of when and where I spent my money. I bought that Incineroar evolution line figure sort of on a whim at a random city in the middle of nowhere, California while on the long drive down to SLO. The Touhou blindboxes, Digimon CD, and RWBY manga came from Kinokuniya in Japantown. Just wanted to buy them because. Even if the Tri series was mediocre in the end the nostalgia still has a strong grip on my heart, especially that music with Kouji Wada. ;_;

And the most touristy thing was buying this wind chime at a gift shop in a spa that I really didn’t need but it was pretty so w/e.

See? Pretty.

The results of the blindboxes. Not the luckiest result as I wanted other characters but you CANNOT SAY NO TO WEEB MERCH!

As much as I have been distancing myself from the show, RWBY’s manga has wondrous art. It also decided to focus on some random unknown side character named Ruby instead of the main characters, which I thought while was quite the bold move, was rather refreshing.

DELICIOUS WEISS BACKSTORY. I recall posting something about this particular chapter on here before. YEEEEE!

So yeah I went to the island prison in San Francisco where AAAAAALL the tourists go. In my defence I have a genuine interest in prisons. Just ask my 300k RWBY fanfiction in which the first quarter of it is set in a prison. It is also not my first prison fic. I put lots of research in that setting to write that kind of shit.

Also all the souvenirs were the most gimmicky things possible that I didn’t think I’d ever use or would just be paperweight. Except this bag! I may actually use this bag! I know!

And excluding the stuff that is too big or I forgot to take a pic of near the beginning of the post, THIS was the Fanime loot! Magus got me the Monokuma onesie which was extremely nice of him and now I am no longer perpetually cold. Ah yes the warmth of the hide of a psychotic bear. So good.

I could not believe the artist who made one of my favourite Aya pics EVER was at the artist alley. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. Obviously this was an instant purchase. This was my phone background for the longest of times. She had Touhou artbooks too but they sold in the first twenty minutes of the first day of the artist alley. Wow. My friend may try to snag me some at AX in July, so here’s hoping!

I didn’t see a lot of specifically Weiss prints there, and this was the best of the lot IMO. My only wish was that it was a brighter print, or that Weiss herself being so white would stand out more because it’s the least noticeable thing on my wall atm, which is a shame.

I say this when I saw precisely ONE Aya print (jackpot) and one of another coming up in this bombardment of pics.

THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST PROVOCATIVE ONE HERE LOL. But it was the only Tenko, and DRV3 merch was the most difficult of everything I was looking for to find. Unlike 95% of Tenko art SHE ACTUALLY HAS VISIBLE ABS HERE, which according to the official artbooks she’s supposed to have, so bonus points for that. I had a brief discussion with the artist too and we both agreed Tenko was the best and Ouma was overrated. He has great taste.

Overwatch on the other hand was all over the place in this con, from merch to art, to cosplayers. There were so many cosplayers they didn’t even have enough time to run through half of the tanks and all the supports at the shoot! So sad, so sad. This piece of Widowmaker is beautiful though, so I had to have it.

I saw this online a while back and really loved this image of all the Overwatch ladies being formal. There was a suit-version too, but for whatever reason I preferred this one. Sadly this print is quite small, as it probably would have benefited the most in being larger what with the many characters and thus detail.

Out of all this mess the one thing I wanted the most and hunted for the most was charms. I found NO GOOD CHARMS that fitted my taste and interest, and the closest were these buttons. Oh, and I met my good friend Raphyninja at Fanime and he gave me EXCLUSIVE RAPHYNINA MERCH! Thus that button being here and not in the friendo pile. ANYWAY. There was a deal, 3 for 5, so aside from the obvious ones I grabbed Kork. I love Kork. I didn’t think I would for that type of character, but somehow DRV3 managed it. He will of course be very far away from Tenko and Himiko though. >_>

Here’s a page from one of the Touhou doujins I got, which in hindsight I maybe should not have got? Way too late I noticed that I recognized the seller who I think showed up on a Tumblr post warning of a creeper at the Touhou shoots. He’d try to take pics of cosplayers in a private hotel room at weird, uncomfortable angles as far as I remember, so uh, oops? I was just so excited at finding Touhou doujin for the first time ever that I paid zero attention to the person selling so hopefully I am wrong and they were just someone that resembled that person.

Also I recognized this artist for their cute Satori Koishi content, but could not find any of their Koishi doujins. Sadness.

I bought two Monster Hunter blindboxes at Fanime because CLEARLY I need more, right. I got a Nargacuga, including the box left remaining in the pile I gave away and the one I already have... I now have three Nargacugas. That’s quite a lot for something I never fought before...

I also got this tiny Zinogre. If we include my buttons I have FOUR Nargacugas now and FOUR Zinogres. The difference is I have fought Zinogre multiple times (I have no idea exactly because I have 600 hours in 4U >_>) and actually really like him! Sadly, in grand tradition like the last time I visited San Francisco (when I was five) I lost something, that being my favourite MonHun button, Zinogre. It is now in the wild with my teddy bear and my hat, forever gone in the California abyss. ):

I got this at the swap meet for 6 dollars. It may not have a stand and is rather dusty, but damn is that a bargain. My only regret is not having the GIGA DRILL BREAKAAAA model instead. I also got that Monokuma bag there too, but that was just because I went there and couldn’t find a single thing I wanted until I saw the bag, which I was on the fence on but wanted to buy SOMETHING from there and got it, thinking that was it ... but then this and the Touhou doujins showed up, soooooo...

Finally this other Nargacuga that was left behind became my monster in that line of figures, the rest in the hands of my friends. It’s actually cuter than I expected, and barely fit in this cheap crappy display case I bought at a Daiso. I moved my dresser a nudge and the Pokemon fell over, so yeah.

You may have noticed a drop in quality in the photos and that’s because I cannot be bothered to touch up such a gargantuan amount of images anymore, not with the time I have. Would be nice tho. SO, THAT IS THE GIANT POST OF SPOTTO’S MERCH, NOW WITH 100% MORE QUANTITY THAN BEFORE! I spent too much money so I might as well get something out of it by BRAGGING about it! Right?

Ye.

#spotto's merch #too much stuff to tag not even going to bother #not all of it can even fit in this one image too!#and I forgot stuff to include as well!

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