#if i get in trouble for a very simple ACAB sticker on my desk i have many legs to stand on in my defense yknow?

[sharkieboi]

mostly posting this as a note to self but remind me to get an ACAB sticker or smth to stick to my work desk, especially since some fiction crime shows have been added to our TV list

[sephspark]

The Untamed Characters as People In My Library

I work in a public library (extremely rural, extremely American) and was possessed by the idea of “children’s entertainer Wei Wuxian” and this spiraled from there. I’m a children’s librarian so my bias is Obvious.

Wei Wuxian: children’s musician/performer. Does dance/music programs, encouraging the kids to get up and move while he plays. Creates absolute chaos because 3 year olds are not coordinated, but no one cries. The kids’ favorite, even if he’s on thin ice with the rest of the staff. Technically, he’s not even staff, but his sister is the children’s librarian and he’s in so often he might as well be. Does most of his programs for free because “Musical Literacy Is Important, Wen Qing, I’m Not Going to Tell”. Writes his own programs to avoid paying royalties.

Lan Wangji: traditional children’s musician. Comes in once or twice during the summer to do cultural programs about Gusu music. Extremely popular, libraries fight over getting him in. Very reserved, quiet, not all that good with the kids but they love him anyway. Does a great job drumming up business for the local music teachers. You’d think he’d be expensive, but he lets the libraries name their price, and even then he usually negotiates down.

They’re usually scheduled to do programs on the same day or at least the same week, given the similar content. Get into fights frequently in the break room over pedagogical differences. Everyone keeps begging Jiang Yanli to schedule them further apart. She just smiles.

(Everyone except for Jiang Yanli is surprised when they go into business together. There’s a betting pool on the break room fridge for how long before one of them kills the other, and who’s going to snap first. MianMian wins with a write-in answer of “neither, they’re going to get married”.)

Jiang Yanli: youth services librarian. Everyone loves her. Knows all of the children by name, keeps in touch with their parents. The kids all call her shijie or jie-jie, even when they’re teenagers. A master at sliding informational cards into the hands of little queer kids without their parents seeing. Had two weddings: the actual ceremony, and then a second ceremony the next day where she wore her wedding robes to the library so “her” kids could see. She only meant to drop by for a few hours, but ended up staying and working the whole day, because Wen Yuan wouldn’t let go of her leg. She did delay her honeymoon by a day for that. Currently taking a year off to care for her newborn son.

Nie Huaisang: youth services librarian. Did Not Expect to be put in charge when Jiang Yanli left for a year. Better at it than you’d think; he’s been helping her run things behind the scenes for a while now (they have weekly “department meetings” where they lock themselves in the office and either scheme over the budget or complain about rude patrons). Kids like him because he’s “silly”. Definitely plays up being clumsier than he is, pretends he doesn’t know really simple information (kids are convinced he doesn’t know math), gets REALLY into it during story time. He’ll be happy to go back to being an assistant when A-Li gets back, but he’s still enjoying himself.

Mo XuanYu: youth services specialist. Fifteen minutes late to work with Starbucks everyday, but by god, they’re so short staffed they can’t afford to fire him. Also, he goes on coffee runs for the whole building. Also also, he’s got access to that Jin Clan money, in that Jin Guangshan paid him off to stay quiet about being a bastard until JGS croaked of a heart attack (no one cried). Hates kids. Why is he in the children’s department? It was better than packing boxes. GREAT with social media, a one-man marketing department. Reluctantly very good at puppet shows and is bullied into doing them weekly by Jiang Yanli. 

MianMian: circulation manager. Helps out in youth services when Nie Huaisang really needs it. In charge of the money. Looks sweet, great with families. Has a strict “do no harm but take no shit” policy. Has connections to all the shelters so she can send people somewhere they can get support instead of just throwing them out for trying to sleep in the alley or bathing in the bathroom. Never seen without a cup of coffee (once a month she’ll shove $100 into the hands of an intern and send them to the shop up the street to get coffee for the whole library). Has your back with combative patrons. Can, will, and has banned people from the building for being rude.

Wen Ning: shelver. Doesn’t talk a lot but takes great joy in making sure that the library is in perfect order. Knows where everything is. Probably knows every book in the library, but he’d never admit to it. Hears SO MUCH gossip. Will leave a book on someone’s table if they’re struggling that’s relevant to whatever they’re going through. Anonymously runs the online Readers’ Advisory blog column. Will push the kids around on the shelving cart if they ask (frequently gets in trouble for this). Has broken a cart pushing Wei Wuxian around (did not get in trouble for this because Wen Qing was too busy dragging Wei Wuxian to an inch of his life for being a bad influence).

Wen Qing: county librarian. Has this shit on lock. Takes no nonsense from the local government; she’s not here to flirt her way through budget meetings or sacrifice her intelligence so that the men in charge will give her funding. She’s run this library on a shoestring budget in the past and she’ll do it again before she plays the fool. Occasionally brings her nephew, Wen Yuan, to work with her for the day when his grandmother can’t care for him. Everyone respects her but they’re also a little terrified of her. She likes it that way.

Lan Xichen: adult services manager. Works very closely with the geneaology department. Like, VERY closely. Has seen everything you could possibly imagine. No longer reacts when patrons are watching porn, just remotely shuts their computer down from his desk. Great with old women. Occasionally ventures down to circulation to defuse the situations where MianMian can’t afford to kill someone/ban them from the building. Knows what you’re looking for before you even open your mouth. Knows exactly which “book with a red cover” you’re looking for. It’s a little freaky. Runs a weekly meeting to help college kids with their research projects (finding materials and proofreading), a meeting to help people with job applications, and a creative writing club. Desk is covered in thoeretical treatises and bodice-ripper romances.

Meng Yao: acquisitions and geneaology manager. You don’t ask how he gets those rare books, you just catalogue them. Made geneaology its own department, separate from adult services, even though he’s usually at Lan Xichen’s desk chatting and drinking tea. Definitely a geneaologist out of Spite but he’s good at cataloguing that kind of information in his brain, remembering who’s in what family and whose family had historical beef with who, who fought in what war...basically an encyclopedia. Runs a blog of the historical scandals he discovers through his patrons’ research, with names changed for privacy. There’s some REAL wild shit in there if you know where to look (he does). Does not speak much to Mo XuanYu, but they do trade the Look of two men who do not miss their deadbeat (dead) father. He’s the one who put up the betting pool on whether or not WWX and LWJ would kill each other. Still owes MianMian his part of the pool.

A-Qing (Xiao Qing): intern. Works in whatever department needs her the most that day. Always coming up with ways to make the library more accessible, even if she has to jury rig something herself. Takes coffee breaks with Mo XuanYu. Frequently overrides the time limit on the public computers for kids who are just trying to do their homework; an hour isn’t a lot of time to do a week’s worth of schoolwork, and most of them don’t have internet at home (or a stable home). She’s been there. Not allowed to work the circulation desk because she Will fight patrons if they try to get an attitude with her, and she’s not a manager, so she doesn’t have the power to fight them like MianMian does. 

HONORABLE MENTION:

Jin Zixuan: the library’s sugar daddy. Head of the Friends of the Library (aka the totally legal money laundering operation). Makes so many anonymous charitable donations whenever his wife mentions the library needs funds for something. Makes plenty of non-anonymous ones, too, but those are for the Big Things that are expected of someone in his position. To the public, the library is simply his passion project, his charity work. Everyone who knows him knows that he is 100% whipped for Jiang Yanli and would probably sign his soul over to the library if needed to keep the place afloat. Wen Qing KNOWS it’s him, but she can’t do anything about it, so they trade passive aggressive barbs at fundraising dinners and book sales. Has had at least one breakdown in front of MianMian where he asked her to get parenting books out of the children’s room for him because he couldn’t let A-LI KNOW that he’s WORRIED about having a CHILD! What if he turns out like his own father?! He doesn’t know how anything about raising children!!!

Song Lan: no one really knows what his job is, but it has something to do with private security and he’s not a cop because his daughter has an “ACAB” sticker on her water bottle. Definitely gave his cell number to everyone and told them to call him Just In Case a patron turns violent or there’s something happening in the parking lot (Nie Huaisang called him once when some frat bro was cat-calling the female staff; Wen Chao didn’t do that again). Looks like he could kill you, could actually kill you, and is a cinnamon roll. Likes to chat about philosophy with Lan Xichen. Has to have A-Qing help him use the computer every time he comes in. They’re all pretty sure he’s just playing dumb so his daughter can show off.

Xiao XingChen: an absolute goddamn delight of a patron. Comes in every two weeks and asks for some extremely obscure book you KNOW doesn’t exist in audio form (if it even exists in a form that isn’t “300 year old parchment paper”) but he always smiles and says his daughter will read it to him, they love talking about philosophy together, and you also KNOW A-Qing does because she’s co-opted the youth services supply closet as a recording booth. Always wants to listen when you’re stressed out and having a hard day. Probably a therapist? You don’t know what he does for a living, either, but you’re less afraid to ask him than you are his husband. Honestly it just seems rude that you don’t know at this point so you’re not going to admit ignorance! Don’t ask! Runs a community program helping teens get ready for college and apply for scholarships, in collaboration with Lan Xichen’s programs. Is he a school counselor? You’re still not going to ask.

Jiang Cheng: also part of The Friends of the Library with Jin Zixuan. They’ve got a begrudging partnership which is “we’re both whipped for the women in charge of this library and we’re going to give them Everything They Want”. Would be dating Wen Qing if it wasn’t a terrible breach of ethics. Makes love-sick puppy eyes at her during the monthly meetings. Comes in with the local animal shelter every Wednesday evening to promote the spay/neuter program and give coupons for it. He can’t have dogs because his brother is deathly allergic, but he can pet all the Good Boys and Girls at the shelter that he wants. He is a little tired of the “Cheng-spotting” Facebook group that Wei Wuxian started, where everyone posts candids of him walking various shelter dogs around town. (Actually he thinks it’s fun, but he’s never going to admit that.)

DISHONORABLE MENTION:

Xue Yang: has had his library card revoked. Does not wear headphones to listen to screamo music about dismemberment on the public computers. God, you hope he’s an anatomy student, you’re really tired of his search history. He says it’s “research” and then refuses to elaborate. For a paper? For a book?? For MURDER?! You don’t know! You don’t think you want to know! The reason Lan Xichen has a “kill switch” for the public computers. Banned from the premises but he keeps getting back in somehow.