#if i finish an assignment even like a minute early i have to restart the whole thing to get the full 30 minute or 45 minute minimum 👎

[gales-boyfriend]

homework assignments so time consuming for no reason!! unnecessarily tedious fr!!

[najatheangel]

genre: fluff, drama, and comedy. high school au!

pairing: Choi San x Reader

author's note: apart of the Ateez Summer Collab hosted by @bangchan-fairy My first official posted collab please let me know what you guys think. Enjoy your summer! ✨

word count: 5.3k

summary: After slacking off junior year and struggling to juggle responsibilities, you're stuck retaking your math course in the summer. With your future on the line, you were stuck with San to work together with you so you both can pass this summer course as seniors. You two seem to have a hard time focusing on your studies. Is it because you don't understand the work or a certain someone that's distracting you

taglist: @purplepsycho03 @melonmochimoon @neptunehobi @soleilsuhh @dundun-baby @kpopsnowball (Send me a message if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.)

Your stepmom Maria seemed to be very disappointed in you once again for letting her down this year. She had planned so many family trips, vacations, and hangouts for the whole family to enjoy this summer, but thanks to my failing this dumb math class, I have to be stuck in this school until July.

“You better be lucky I can afford for you to retake this class. Your reckless behavior has gone on long enough.” Your mom walks beside you upstairs inside Walnut Hills Highschool making sure you don’t skip out on the first day of summer school.

“Mom, you know you don’t have to walk me to class. I know what I’m doing!” You groan at her as she links her arms with you in the hallway.

“Clearly you don’t! If you did you wouldn’t be stuck here retaking this class. Now we’re almost there so keep your head high and lose the tude.”

There it was class 2A once again. This class was an absolute nightmare. I took a deep breath and slid the door open slowly with my eyes halfway open anxious to see who was sitting in the classroom.

“Welcome back miss Y/LN! Good seeing you again.” Mr. Harris said with a smile. This sucker, you had a love-hate relationship with Mr. Harris. You loved the fact that he was super nice and helpful when he was your English tutor freshman year, but you hated how he had a crush on your mom and how weird teacher-parent conference meetings would get when they would sneak off with each other in his office.

“Good morning Mr. Harris. Good seeing you again.” Your mom blushed to try to contain her excitement, but it was too obvious. “Anyways I’ll be heading my way out. She’s all yours for the summer.” Your mom gave you one last hug and kiss on the cheek before she left.

You sighed, rolling your eyes, fanning yourself already sweating from the classroom’s lack of cold air blowing. You complained again by saying.“Mr. Harris, are we staying in this room all summer? I’m sweating like a fat pig.”

“Unfortunately, yes. The PCs in the computer lab have been shut down and the school plans on replacing them with apple PCs by august. So these are the cards we’ve been dealt with. Let’s get started shall we.”

All the students in the classroom sighed, taking sips of their water bottles as Mr. Harris took attendance.

“Let’s see...We have Angela, Oliver, Chris, Yui, Y/N...Who’s missing? Choi San?”

“Here.” San slams the door open, arriving 20 minutes late with his chocolate milk in one hand and a glazed donut in the other. “Sorry Mr. Harris, I’ve overslept.”

Mr. Harris sighs, shaking his head, chuckling to calm himself down. “As expected. Just glad that you’re here, please have a seat.”

There was only one seat left which was in the front next to you and that would of course be his assigned seat for the rest of the summer.

You never heard much of San except everyone saying that he dropped out sophomore year.

You remember having a crush on him during freshman orientation when you both were shadowed by this kid named Lee Know. The whole time you were quiet, but you remembered staring at the handsome devil strutting in his uniform the whole time.

So to see him once again took you and everyone by surprise.

“Class, make sure you remember your partner’s name sitting next to you for this summer because you will work together in order to pass this class.”

“Say what?” You look over at San, who was making origami at his desk. “Good seeing again kid.” He smirks at you leaving you speechless. “Want a donut?” He reached out, handing a piece to you.

You were slamming your head on the desk thinking to yourself. “Mom, I know I promised I would finish this class, but I don’t know if I can...”

Mr. Harris had you paired up in groups of two to complete a series of word problems and online on this website called Pearson. On the bright side, walnut hills provided MacBooks for students that didn’t have their laptop, but of course, if they tried to watch Netflix, facetime with their friends, or search for something inappropriate, their laptop will be shut down for 24 hours until further notice.

The first two weeks were pretty quiet between you and San because both of you aren’t necessarily the best conversation starters and whenever San would ask you something it would only just help him cheat on an assignment or help him make up an excuse to skip class. Up until the third week hit you had enough of his excuses trying to avoid doing the work.

The third week you were assigned to work on three hours of pre-cal on the computer and you had the option to locate to a different classroom of course if you couldn’t focus in a cramped room full of sweaty students. So you and san decided to work in the math lab across from class 2A and try to work out a plan.

“Listen San I know this class is our worst enemy, but I promised my mom I would graduate next year and If I have to restart my junior year again I would die of embarrassment. So please try a little harder.” San sighs nodding to your proposal looking deeply into your eyes.

“Fine. I guess I’m in the same boat. I figured retaking junior year would make my mom mad too.” He reaches his hand shaking it with yours smiling.

Your heart starts pounding pretty fast as you're exchanging the agreement with San and you gaze your eyes back at the computer again clearing your throat.

“So, all we have to do is remember the methods Mr. Harris taught us and we'll be alright. What section are we on?” San scrolls through his laptop trying to login into his Pearson account. “I believe it's section 3.A. 20 questions which are due this Friday?! Man, Mr. Harris won’t give us a break.”

You giggled at his surprised reaction. Sometimes he can be soft which makes you melt inside even more. It made you wonder why he was always hanging around with the rebels with no future at school. Maybe life at home was rough and he didn’t have a lot of friends. All these questions were running through your head, which made you not realize that San suddenly moved closer to you.

“You need help with that problem? You were staring blankly at the screen for the past 10 minutes. Here let me show you how to do this.” San wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to writing the answer problem step by step to help you understand it better, but that wasn’t exactly helping.

All you were doing was admiring his beautiful face to face. It made you remember the first time you saw him with his glowing melon skin, sharp jawline, the way he can pull off a white collar and a striped tie it just seemed impossible.

On top of that his knowledge in math made him 10x more attractive, but you couldn’t understand why someone as brilliant and essential as him set himself up in the wrong crowd and stuck in this situation that cost him his high school diploma.

“So that’s how you get y= 18 + 15x. Any questions?” “Yeah, why the hell are you so fine. Forget Mr. Harris, you can be my tutor.” Would’ve sounded better in your head, but you accidentally said it out loud.

San looked at you with his eyes flashing open and then he burst out laughing. “Well Ms. Y/LN if I knew you were having this much fun, I would’ve signed up for this a long time ago.”

“Same here. You know I didn’t think math was your thing. How come you're so good at it?” He sighs, leaning looking up at the ceiling as his mood changes very quickly. “My dad is an entrepreneur and a CEO of his own company.

He’s very good at math so he taught me at an early age so someday I can take over his company someday. He’s never home at times either so I’m pretty much always helping my friends with their math homework as a side hustle.”

“That must be tiring. I know that must be a lot of pressure for a 17-year-old.” San nods his head in agreement and says “It is, but hey that’s what I’ve been dealing with all my life. We got to finish these questions so we can go home early.” With the both of you panicking you turn back to your computers finishing the last set of problems.

You were having so much fun at school with San that you forgot you had to make it to dinner on time with your wicked stepmother. Ever since you’ve started your sophomore year at Walnut Hills your father was keeping his dating life a secret until he unexpectedly announced that he wanted to marry Maria. Your dad was always the playboy so it always would irritate you whenever he brings another woman into the picture.

Your father planned on marrying Maria by the time you’ve graduated high school, but that all ended in tragedy when your father one day died in a car accident on the way to your volleyball game. This is why you quitted sports, fell out with your best friends, and flunked almost all your classes. Maria has always shown tough love even when your dad was around, but that’s because she never knew what it was like to raise children and she wanted to learn to become closer to your family, but your relationship with her was always rocky.

Arriving late at night you’ve run to your house sweating and panting to your angry stepmom in the kitchen tapping her foot.

“Y/N, do you know what time it is? School ended at 5. Why are you late for dinner? This better is good missy.” You caught your last breath and then rolled your eyes at Maria’s snarky comment. “Me and my partner in my class took longer than expected to finish our assignment. Sorry, okay?”

You’ve slammed your backpack on the back of your chair and grabbed a plate of yong chow rice to eat with your family. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me? I just asked a simple question. Don’t tell me your working with that Choi San guy?”

You shook your head as you started to feel yourself explode at the dinner table, but you let her finish. “I know that because Mr. Harris told me. Look all I’m saying is you better stay concentrated on getting out of summer school and don’t fool around with these boys. Got it?”

You’ve finally snapped and stood up slamming the table with your fists. “You know what, I don’t understand why you're nagging me about every little thing going on in my life. You can’t just be proud that I finished my assignments for this week. But, no you keep finding ways to complain to me about me not working hard enough or messing around. I’m getting really tired of it. That’s why I hate it here!”

“Y/N! Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you.” She followed you all the way upstairs until you closed the door and locked it in her face. You were too tired and frustrated to be dealing with her constant ranting so you’ve just sat in your room, put your AirPods on, and blocked her yelling from the background. “We’ll talk about this another day. Psh teenagers.”

For the rest of the night, you smush your face in your pillow crying yourself to sleep. You look back on the polaroids of your dad around your room and through your phone missing his presence in your home. “Dad, why did you leave me alone with her? If it was just the three of us, things would be so different. I miss you.”

Your partnership with San seemed to improve drastically which was surprising, to say the least. All the other kids in the class however didn’t seem to improve. Some were either cheating or missing the deadlines. Mr. Harris was not pleased by the results so he found other alternatives.

“You know what class, here’s what we’re about to do. To make this a lot more fun, how about we do class activities for extra credit. Since some of you are glued to your devices nowadays we can play games like Kahoot, Jenga, and Tetris to answer questions. I can even narrow down the questions on the assignments. How does that sound?” Everyone in class chants and cheers loving the idea which keeps them even more motivated to continue working.

“Alright everyone the games won’t start today, but next week. This is the last week of June and summer school so that means we’re halfway there from finishing. You cannot screw this up. Try acing this week’s quiz with 90% everyone or no games for those with below 70%. Got it?” “Yes, Mr. Harris!” You’ve become closer to the class since it was only nine of you, but your best friends are Angela, San, and Chris. The four of you stopped for ice cream after school to study for this week’s big math test that covered five sections.

“Gosh, Mr. Harris put 40 questions on the test! What the hell is he on crack?”

Everyone laughed at Chris complaining. He would always try to find shortcuts just so he can finish playing PubG, but he always ends up getting in trouble because he procrastinates too much. The only reason he’s somewhat doing well is because of his girlfriend Angela.

She was always a straight-A student and a bit of a geek at school, but outside of school, she was a baddie. She ended up having to retake pre-cal because she wanted to offer to help Chris with homework but ended up failing with him. “Oh hush it’s not even that bad. If you would’ve done those practice problems like you were told, you wouldn’t be complaining so much.” She slaps the back of Chris' head making him spat out his dip cone.

San looks at them admiring their silly dysfunctional relationship and then looks at you mesmerized. He leans in whispering in your ear saying “Why can’t we be more like them. They’re cute together.” You turned to him, slapping his shoulder softly giggling. “We shouldn’t. We agreed to only focus on school, remember?” He looks at you pouting “Does it have to be strictly about work? Like Mr. Harris said, we can have fun with it. We are partners after all.”

You look to the side trying to avoid his gaze as you take another spoonful of mint cocoa. With your sloppy spoonful of ice cream leftover on your face, San quickly grabbed a napkin from the table and whipped your face. “Be careful, you had a little mint chocolate on your face.” He kissed the side of your lips and smirked at you right afterward leaving everyone shocked.

“You guys are hot together.”

Chris with no filter shouted out leaving you a blushing mess. You quickly grabbed your ice cream and backpack as you heard your stepmom pulling up at the dairy parking lot. “You know what duty calls. I’ll meet you guys at the same time tomorrow at San’s place just like we planned. I gotta shave my legs. Later!” San wanted to grab your arm real quick to give you a proper goodbye, but you already beat him to it by sprinting to the car.

“Honey, why did you run in the car so fast? You would have finished your ice cream-”

“No time for that, just drive Mom.” Maria laughs looking at you covering your face with your cardigan and looking at San’s pouting face playing with his spoon he just ate from his ice cream. “Reminds me of the good old days when I was in high school.” Your stepmom cranked the engine and drove all the way home.

When you arrived home you flopped your body on your bed trying to focus on finishing studying for your test by yourself, but all your thinking about San’s kiss replaying in your head over and over again. “Ugh that San man, why did his lips have to be so soft? I'm supposed to be finding the formula for x, not the formula to get into San’s heart.” You’ve pulled out your laptop attempting to send an email to Mr. Harris said that you wanted to switch partners, but you prevent yourself from pressing send through your mouse.

“There’s no point. We only have four more weeks plus he would be upset if I do that. I just need to calm down.” You’ve closed out of your email tab and finished your homework sinking in your thoughts.

“Dad, hey it’s me again, I just wanted to leave a voicemail letting you know that later on today I’ll be bringing my friends over to work on studying for our big test. It would be nice for you to meet them, but of course, I know work is more important. Anyways please come visit again sometime soon. Love you, peace.” San sighs, hanging up the phone as he sets the table up getting ready for you, Angela, and Chris to come over. San has always learned to live basically on his own growing up.

His father is always running off on business trips, his mother left him at a young age to marry a wealthy man and his older brother was already out of the country to join the Navy. His brother was the only person he can count on for family events when it came to birthdays, Christmas, and even father’s day. At least his brother could attend and catch up with his crazy high school life.

Snapping out of his train of thoughts he opens the door as soon as he hears the doorbell ring. “Coming!” He fixed his Pikachu long sleeve and parted his hair before he opened the door. He was smiling so wide after seeing it was you, Angela and Chris.

“C'mon in you guys. Welcome to mi palacio. Let’s study in the living room.”

Everyone ran to the living room pleased with the smell of pina colada candles filling the house. You were shocked that San got to live in this huge nicely decorated home yet you seem to notice that his family is not present.

You see picture frames of him when he was younger in a monster inc sitting on the fountain at Disneyland.

There was also another cute family photo of San’s best friend named Wooyoung that he met since kindergarten, but sadly they ended up cutting ties since they went to different schools.

A picture that stood out from all of them was one of him sitting on his mom’s lap when he was five smiling super hard with his pretty white smile. You’ve never seen him smile that hard and you were always curious more about his past so the family photos have shown a nice glimpse into his past “Hey y/n cmon I made some ramen. We have to pull out the flashcards so we can study.” “W-wait, but your baby pictures I want!” “No time we can look at them later.”

He winks and gently holds your hand and walks downstairs with you.

“Here goes the love birds. We have to try San’s famous spicy ramen dish before it gets too cold.” Everyone sits down at the dinner table clasping their hands together ready to dig in until the door opens.

“Surprise brother! Sorry I’m late. Did I miss dinner?” San’s brother Jinhyuk walks in with veggie wraps and steak bulgogi in his hand. San runs up to his brother hugging him super tight happier to see that he finally made it home. “Guys this is my brother Jinhyuk. Jinhyuk this is Chris, Angela, and Y/N.”

Jinhyuk smiles at everyone greeting everyone. “So what’s been going on with you guys? I know you have been stuck in school together, but what have you guys been doing outside of school?” Angela started by saying “Well so far me and Chris have been seeing each other every day. We always go to the park or the carnival when we get the chance for dates. We have also been hanging out with these two right here.”

Chris joined in saying “Exactly right. You can say we’re like the Scooby-Doo gang of course without scooby.” San laughs adding on “No way you’re definitely Scooby. Angela is Velma, I’m Freddy, and Y/N is Daphne.” Everyone at the table laughed as they enjoyed San’s ramen catching up with each other.

Jinhyuk elbows you as he chats with you in the kitchen. “Hey, I noticed that you were sitting there staring at my brother. What’s going on with you two.” Your eyes flashed wide open as you were surprised by Jinhyk’s sudden question. You faced him scratching the back of your head not knowing how to answer his question. “Well, I honestly don’t know. I think he just likes teasing me. One minute he flirts with me, the next minute he treats me like one of the guys. My mom also doesn’t want me getting distracted so I’m trying to keep my distance.”

Jinhyuk laughs and then pets your head. “Well, you both already failed at keeping your distance. I think he likes you, but since you keep running away or avoiding him too much, he feels like he’s making you uncomfortable and that you strictly want to stay as friends. I wouldn’t give him the wrong idea to be upfront about how you feel about him. You got this kid.” He grabs your empty bowl for you and washes the dishes giving you that boost of confidence. “You know what you're right. Mama didn’t raise no punk. I’ll tell him after we finish studying. Thanks, Jinhyuk I owe you the next time you visit.” You give him a thumbs up and skip happily out the kitchen looking forward to seeing your friends.

After hours of studying flashcards, everyone finally studied feeling confident in themselves about the final test of the semester. Everyone packed their things and was ready to head home since their parents were outside. You were the only one that still felt confident about your process throughout the class so you’ve decided to stay an extra hour to study with San.

“Are you sure this is right?” You put the pencil down crossing your fingers as San checks your work. “Wow yes, that is correct. See you’re doing just fine. You only got 7 wrong out of the 40 questions. Just keep using that method I taught you and you’ll be just fine.” San smiles at you pinching your cheeks. “It’s 10:30 pm. Your mom is going to be worried about you. You should start heading home. I'll drop you off.” San started putting his notebook and laptop back on his desk getting ready to leave his room, but you pull on his sleeve bringing him back down on the couch with you.

“Wait, um why don’t we watch a movie or something. My mom is out with Mr. Harris anyways they won’t be back until the morning. I kind of told her I was spending the night at my cousin’s house.”

San smiles, shaking his head gulping, sitting back down next to you. “That sounds nice and all, but I don’t want to get you in trouble. Plus you do realize you’re staying over at a boy’s house at night.” You lean your head on his shoulder holding his hand yawning. “I know I trust you. You wouldn’t do anything unless I told you I wanted to. Just for tonight please San?” San sighs, lifting your chin patting the back of your head. “Fine, but next time let me meet your mom. I want to know everything there is about you okay?” You nod linking pinkies with him. “Deal. Now let’s watch Money Heist Shall we?”

The next morning you wake up in San’s arms as you share a blanket on the living room couch. You woke up fixing his messy black hair struck by his sleeping face. “Gosh you're even more dreamy when you're sleeping.” You checked the time on your phone and realized what time it was.

Pre-cal normally starts around 10, it was 11:20. “San gets up, we're late for class! We can’t miss this one Mr. Harris is giving us get extra credit today.” San woke right up alert as he wiped the drool from the side of his mouth.

“Dang, we gotta go. Here brush your teeth real fast, brush your hair and let’s roll.”

The two of you got ready as fast you could and hopped right on his motorcycle speeding through the traffic throughout the city.

You wrapped your arms around San the whole time scared you’ll fall on the motorcycle. San felt so happy whenever you depended on him for anything. “God I love this girl. I know they say I’m too young or going too fast, but I can’t help it.” He mumbled under his breath as he arrived at the school.

“Well well if it isn’t San and Y/N. You better be lucky you didn’t miss the test. We just got done playing Kahoot.” The two of you poured with your heads looking down feeling ashamed as you walked to your seats. The two of you took one last glimpse of each before Mr. Harris handed out the test.

This was it after everything you’ve been through this past month with San and your friends. The hard work was going to determine if you actually made it through or not. Mr. Harris gave you a whisper of encouragement you never heard in a long time except for your dad. “Y/N no matter what happens I’ll always be proud of you. Finish this strong.”

Mr. Harris' words almost moved you to tears as you smiled and nodded your head right back at him. Now you understand why Maria loved him so much he was always passionate about teaching and cared about your well-being.

You grabbed your pencil and your laptop as you started getting to work. The whole time you were nervous and a few questions caused you to slip up, but in the end, you remembered how to do most of the work. San seemed to be holding up just fine so you weren’t too worried about him, Angela would always double-check her work before turning it in and Chris was surprisingly focused the whole time.

As everyone finished their tests Mr. Harris checked everyone’s grades one by one slowly seeing their process.

He stands up taking off his glasses and says. “Class...congratulations on becoming seniors! Everyone has passed summer school. See you in the fall.”

Everyone screamed cheering as the paper was flying and everyone in the classroom cheered. “Yeah, you guys hang out at the carnival!” Chris screamed and everyone followed him out.

Before catching up with everyone you called your stepmom to tell her the good news with Mr. Harris next to you.

“Mom, I finally passed. Dad’s face right now you know he’s probably crying. It was all thanks to Mr. Harris too, he's the best teacher ever.”

You can hear your mom’s voice on the other end as she gets teary-eyed. “Your dad would definitely be so happy that you passed, but also pissed because he never wants you in summer school ever again.” The three of you laugh together as you share the happy news.

“I’m so sorry I doubted you and was super harsh y/n. I love you and just want you to succeed. Your my only banana muffin I got in this world so don’t pull off any dumb crap like this ever again.”

“Yes mom, you know I will. I made a promise to dad after all. I will graduate and stay close to you if it’s the last thing I do. Love you, I'm going to the carnival with my friends.”

Maria makes kissy noises back and says “I love you too. Don’t stay out too late. Matter of fact I’ll meet you there since me and Harris have a date anyways. See you there.” You hang up feeling emotional as you hug Mr. Harris.

Mr. Harris pats you on the back saying “Didn’t I tell you she’s very proud. Now I think you need to catch up with your friends before he leaves without you. I’ll meet you at the carnival.” Mr. Harris leaves the classroom giving you one last smile and heading out.

You walked in the hallway looking all around the school for San, luckily you found him in the science lab where he’s sitting by the window with a sad look on his face.

“San. We’ve gotta meet up with everyone at the carnival. Why are you here by yourself?”

San sighs, crossing his arms.

“There’s no point in celebrating. I tried reaching out to both of my parents to tell them about one of the biggest accomplishments in my life and as usual, they didn’t answer.” You sat right next to him at the window petting his head. “You know what, how dare they? Forget them.

You have a supportive big brother, an amazing group of friends, and the best teacher a school could ever ask for. You have a family right here and we’re proud of you.”

San lifts his head up as he sees your bright smile that always makes him helpless.

“You always know exactly what to say. What would I do without you?”

He links pinkies with you. “I really can’t wait for you to meet my stepmom. She gets on my nerves sometimes and we always tend to bump heads, but we always come right back together. Dad would’ve also loved you. He was always straight to the point and never held back. I loved that confidence he always had.”

“Oh yeah he did get into that accident last year, I’m so sorry about that.”

You shake your head “It’s alright, I’m still holding up just fine. I’m just happy to have you here with me plus I get to be seniors with you and everyone else.” San looks up at you one last time slowly leaning his face close to yours until your noses touch.

“Gosh, I wonder what would happen if I made out with Y/N in the science lab? The janitor would for sure catch us in the act.” You giggle flirting with him back.

“The only thing he would have to worry about cleaning up is the kiss marks that are going to be on your neck.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were this playful. I love seeing this side of you.”

The two of you finally exchange a short yet sweet kiss in the orange sunset peeking against the window. It was going to last longer until Angela and Chris crashed the party with a loud knock on the door.

“Hurry up Freddy and Daphne the Scooby gang has to pull up at the carnival together. You guys can finish eating each other's faces off in the car. We can’t miss the flight of fear!”

The two of you looked at each other shrugging and walked together hand in hand out the classroom. “Well, I guess we will have to finish this on the carousel.” “Indeed, that sounds more romantic than making out while being surrounded by jars of disinfected frogs in the science lab.”

The two of you catch up with the rest of the seniors of class 2021 as you look forward to your last summer as juniors together. Today was going to be the day where you go all out and live like you're gonna die young.

[zackcollins]

i can’t sleep without you || penny oleksiak

Author’s Note: Look... She’s the Canadian record holder for most medals at the Summer Olympics. My brain decided that warranted a little piece of writing. I hope I did it and her justice because she truly is an icon. Both for the sport of swimming and for the Oleksiak family. GIF credit to maljic!

Warnings: I don’t think there’s anything! Feel free to let me know if anything should be warned about though. I’ll gladly add a warning for you.

Word Count: 1.5k+

Title: Sleep Without You by Brett Young

Additional: The reader should be gender-neutral. They’re implied to be a swimmer, so I did the best I could. Anyways! I hope everyone enjoys this! Feedback is always welcomed!!

You were humming along to the music filtering through your headphones. On the tray in front of you, you were tapping a pencil against your crossword book. You only had a few words filled in and it was driving you bonkers not being able to figure out some of them. Shifting your attention from the music to the crossword puzzle, you scanned the clues again to see if there were any easy ones that you missed.

 5 Down: Layman’s oesophagus

 Bopping your head along to the music, you smiled as you wrote ‘throat’ in the appropriate squares. You were grateful that you had found at least one easy clue. Filling out a few more answers that you had somehow missed, you tapped his pencil against the book a second time when you reached a stalemate at one of the remaining clues.

 13 Across: Town at Eighth Mile of Boston Marathon

 You paused your music, slid your headphones around your neck, turning to your best friend, Penny, beside you. You put the crossword book on the tray in front of her, pointing at the clue.

 “You’re a trove of useless knowledge,” You said, “do you know the answer to that?”

Instead of answering, Penny grabbed the pencil and wrote Natick across the correct squares. Smiling, you slid the crossword book back in front of yourself. Penny handed you the pencil, turning back to the movie she was watching on the seat display; it looked like Finding Nemo or Finding Dory if you were to guess.

 “Thanks, Penny,” you said, punching her playfully in the shoulder.

 Humming, Penny smiled without looking away from her movie. “You’re welcome, babe.”

 Leaning over, Penny checked her shoulder against yours. Your mouth went dry, face heating up both from the contact and the fact that Penny had called you what she had called you. Despite yourself, your traitorous body felt gooey and fuzzy. You quickly slid your headphones on, restarting the music. The last thing you needed was Penny to figure out how you felt.

 For the rest of the flight to Calgary, you tried to focus on your crossword puzzle and the music you were listening to. You tried not to focus on the lingering gooey and fuzzy feelings the shoulder check and pet name from Penny had caused. Keyword: tried. Even with your music blasted as loud as was safe, you could still hear Penny laughing along to the movie. Every time Penny laughed, the gooey and fuzzy feelings bubbled back up deep within your gut.

 When the plane finally landed about an hour later and everyone was disembarking, you kept to yourself. You knew your face was burning as bright as the morning sun after everything that had happened. The last thing you needed was someone to question you about it.

 Thankfully, the bus ride to the hotel was without incident. You were also able to finish your crossword. Seeing as Penny was the last person you wanted to interact with right now, you went to Maggie for help. Maggie was concerned as to why you weren't asking Penny because she knew the two of you did everything together but she ultimately helped you when you said that Penny just wanted to rest after the long flight. Though, you were fairly certain you saw Maggie give you a sideways glance once or twice as she was giving you the answers to some of the clues. You couldn't be sure if it was because she didn't believe your story about Penny, or because she thought you were an idiot for not knowing the answers. Either way, you kept quiet and thanked her when the crossword was finished.

 When everyone was assigned their rooms, you and Penny were paired together to the surprise of absolutely no one. Penny was talking to you about ways to refine your butterfly stroke when you put the keycard in the door. Walking into the room, you both froze as you dropped your suitcases beside each other.

 Looking at each other after a moment, Penny cursed while you ran your hand down your face and around to the back of your neck, sighing.

 “One bed,” you said, swallowing thickly. “There must’ve been a mix-up with the room assignments.”

 Penny sighed, turning to you. “I’m alright with it as long as you are.”

 You noticed something strange beyond the surface of Penny’s eyes; it looked like hope.

 Feeling yourself short circuit, you nodded quickly. “Yeah, it’s fine.” Your words felt heavy, nervous. If Penny noticed, she didn’t acknowledge it.

 Motioning to the bathroom, Penny began unzipping her suitcase. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. It helps me sleep.”

 Feeling your mouth go dry for the second time that night, you nodded. You had seen Penny after a shower plenty of times; this time though, this time felt personal. Intimate. You would be sharing a bed, something that you had dreamt about for a while.

 As Penny went to shower, you changed into your pyjamas. Swallowing thickly, you wanted to kick himself for packing nothing more than a pair of loose boxers and a skin-tight undershirt to wear to bed. Normally, that would be sufficient; you always had your bed. Today though, some power that existed made it happenstance that you would share a bed with the woman you had a lunar-sized crush on. In other words, loose boxers and a skin-tight undershirt felt insufficient.

 When the bathroom door opened and Penny emerged wearing only sleep shorts and a sports bra, you felt less psychotic for wearing what you were wearing. Shimmying over toward the window, you allowed room for Penny on the side of the nightstand. Penny hummed in appreciation, slipping under the covers. Flicking on the lamp, she rolled over to face you.

 “I hope you don’t mind that the lamp is on,” she said, motioning behind her. “Leaving a light on helps me sleep more soundly.”

 You could see a blush rising on Penny’s face. Smiling softly, you slid under the cover and fluffed your pillow to get comfortable.

 “No,” you said, “I don’t mind.”

 You felt your heartstrings tug in different directions when Penny lit up with a genuine smile.

 “Night, babe,” Penny yawned, closing her eyes. A few moments later, Penny’s breathing evened out.

 “Night, Penny,” you mumbled, rolling over. You closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep after a few minutes. Your mind was transfixed on the fact that Penny had called you a pet name again.

 In the morning, you felt warm. Too warm. Your first thought was that you had a fever. You grumbled and shifted around, trying to get comfortable in your newfound heat. That caused another grumble that you decidedly did not utter.

 “Stay still, babe,” Penny mumbled, “cuddling you is no fun if you move.”

 You sprung up as if you were on fire, looking down at Penny. Penny grumbled leaning on her elbow to look at you.

 “Everything okay?” she asked, sounding concerned.

 You swallowed, nodding haphazardly. “I’m sorry for invading your space like that.”

 Penny ran a hand along your bicep. You shivered, leaning into the touch.

 “You didn’t invade anything. I would’ve stopped you if I didn’t like it,” Penny paused.

 “You mean...” the cogs started to turn in your head.

 Nodding, Penny smiled. “Yes. I have feelings for you. Have had feelings for you for a long time.”

 Sitting up properly, Penny cupped your face. On instinct, you brought your hands to Penny's ribcage. Shivering at the contact, Penny leaned in and ghosted her lips over yours. You felt your lips tremble at the feather-light sensation. You leaned in to chase the feeling, lips making contact with Penny's.

 You kissed each other for a moment, pulling back when you nibbled on Penny's lower lip. Penny looked blissed and content when you looked into her eyes. She caught you staring and smirked.

 Ducking your head, you placed it on Penny’s shoulder. Grabbing your chin, Penny pulled your head up. Looking into Penny's eyes, you could see nothing but tenderness and care staring back at you.

 “You have pretty eyes,” you blurted.

 Penny's face turned a soft shade of pink as she leaned in, kissing you. The kiss was soft, sweet, and the most meaningful kiss you had ever experienced. Unlike the kisses you had had with people in the past, this kiss with Penny felt like it mattered in the grand scheme of things. It felt right.

 Laying down to cuddle some more before practice, you heard one of the phones vibrate on the nightstand. It was Penny's phone that had vibrated but when you went to give it to her, she had already fallen back asleep. You looked at the phone screen and saw that the notification was a text from her brother, Jamie. You knew what Penny's password was because she had trusted you with it ages ago. Sighing, you entered the 6 digits and opened up the text thread to see what Jamie had wanted this early in the morning.

After reading the message, you placed Penny's phone on the nightstand. You kissed her on the forehead before curling around her and drifting off to sleep. The only thing on your mind was that you were grateful that Penny had a brother like Jamie.

 To: Coin

From: Giraffe

You're welcome for getting you two a room with one bed. All it cost me was a signed jersey. Now, it better have worked or else I'm flying up to Calgary myself to get you two fools together. Do you understand?

[dourpeep]

Some indulgent college student Albedo hc’s because I too, am an exhausted college student. There may be a part 2 later on because this is kinda long, we'll see...

I even cut out a ton because I got carried away with the experiments oifhiehf but also feel free to guess what's based off what I do as a science major

Contains: description of experiments in biology that deal with deceased animals (brief), mention of dry heaving (brief), bugs (caterpillar)

While I do like art student Albedo, I can't help but apply my past knowledge with double majoring in biology + chemistry...

Ironically, though he really would be the Exhausted College Student aesthetic

For lecture days, he comes to class with bed hair (not the pretty kind, either) and glasses perched on his nose, wearing pajama pants

Except the days where he's dressed in nice jeans and a sweater (naturally, non-synthetic fibers due to the amount of time he spends in the labs), his lab coat very neatly kept in his backpack

It's extremely likely that he's that one student that's taking 18 hours worth of classes per semester which does and doesn't work out

Exceptionally smart, he's able to handle all the class load effortlessly and does really well in all the classes he takes...

But, on the flip side, he rarely gets a full night's rest and he lives in the research section of the library and the chem lab

Well versed in lab safety because he's dropped his fair share of test tubes, burettes and (very unfortunately) reaction flasks...luckily he had an ample amount of financial aid left over to pay for the equipment without making too much of a dent

Speaking of chemistry, his absolute favorite of experiments are titration labs and conducting qualitative analysis of an unknown solution

Titrations don't require too much effort save for ensuring you're only dropping a single drop of reactant to your solution and keeping track of how many milliliters you've dropped

It's relaxing, easy, and very pleasing to watch the color of your solution change

Also swirling liquid goes brrrrrrr

Similarly, those qualitative analysis labs are just as exciting

This is usually what most college students dread over due to how time consuming it is, but there's something entirely relaxing in going through the process of determining each possible reagent

Especially once you get towards the more difficult bits

Despite this being his favorite, there's definitely a special kind of frustration that occurs when, 3/4ths through you realize you messed up early on and have to restart with a fresh batch of that unknown solution

Yeah...

Anyway, he's the student that will get through the process quickly (almost inhumanly so) and finish the whole lab in about 40 minutes including downtime waiting for the solution to heat up properly

But, as always, he's also the last to leave because he'll go around and help any of his peers if they're stuck or just need a trustworthy assistant

With biology, he appreciates the change in pace of observational study versus the hands-on application of chemistry

You know how you need to doodle out an approximate of what you're studying either as an example or diagram?

That's where his artistic side come out

He has somewhat messy handwriting, but the accompanying drawings of specimen are incredible

Detailed, concise, and labeled immaculately

You can tell that he likes identifying types of plants because his notebook is filled with outside observations of the plant life around campus

Albedo also does well with dissections

Quick to pick up on correct placements and identifying the sex characteristics if necessary, any student who's grouped with him will leave that day's lab with excellent notes and a full understanding of the specimen studied

But the smell of the preserving formaldehyde...is definitely one he had to get used to

Let's just say that for one of the larger lifeform dissections he had to periodically leave the class dry heaving and tears streaming down his cheeks

Anyway, a few big gulps of fresh, outside air later, he's back in the lab and sketching out the specimen diagram for the assignment

Another thing that he's definitely glad for is the local butterfly population

Though their lives are short, it gives him a chance to inspect the plant life all over campus for any sign of caterpillars or the very small eggs on the tops and bottoms of leaves

With the permission of the dean, he carefully gathers a few specimen and takes them home to observe the butterfly life cycle

It's interesting to him, to see how the little creatures consume so much and spend about two weeks encased in a pretty little chrysalis to emerge as a physically different organism

It's also funny to see Albedo out and about looking for the little beings because sometimes he'll be laying flat on the concrete walkway searching under leaves or halfway in a bush trying to reach a chrysalis hanging on the wall behind it

MOVING ON

Commonly, he'll have enough time between class for a nap

Albedo isn't particularly picky about his sleeping places, so he'll lay on one of the benches beneath a large tree, head on his backpack and arm draped over his eyes while he catches up on much needed sleep

He also will sleep in one of the library's many many (very comfortable) armchairs while trying to skim through a reference book of his choice

Despite his odd mannerisms, he's viewed as exceptionally attractive

He's intelligent, observant, kind, and handsome

Even with his bed head and rumpled pajamas, he has his fair share of fans

But he's also a bit dense

He's so used to helping people with class assignments and tutoring that if anyone asks him to hang out, he'll assume it's for that

Especially because it's commonplace to study at the local cafe

--that's it for headcanons for now iaehfieh

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH.6

You wake up sometime around one. Not too late in the day given your morning. With a decent amount of sleep under your belt you roll over and start striping your bed of its sheets. Then you make your way across your room, picking up stray clothes as you go to your hamper and dump your collection of dirty linens and clothes into it. You carry the hamper to the bathroom where you load half into the washer. There's no real point in separating the clothes from colored items and pastels or whites. You're only twenty-four and don't have your life totally figured out yet. You can be a little lazy with laundry.

Once your first load of laundry is being washed you go to do your weekly tidy of your home. The one good thing that came from the paranoia of your car's break in was you rearranged all the furniture of the home, thus cleaning as you went. So that means it's more of a quick wipe down of counters and sweeping today. Maybe you'd organize your art supplies while doing your laundry. It's an activity that wouldn't distract you too much and make you forget you had laundry in the wash.

You finish washing the dishes from this morning you begin wiping the counters and tabletop when you notice your fidget cube is still on the table where Toby left it earlier.

'Don't want to lose this. Back to the bookshelf where you belong.' When you get to the living room's bookshelf you notice one of your book's is missing. Ironically it's The Book Thief.

'Tobias probably picked it up and put it down somewhere.' you'd keep your eyes peeled for the book while you cleaned.

After wiping down bookshelves, tables, counters, even the mantel over the fire place you still hadn't found your missing book. You probably picked it right up and placed it right back down without even realizing. You'll just keep an eye out until you find it. You don't even reread books, you really just kept a copy to lend out to people when they ask what your favorite books are. It isn't a real big deal if you can't find it, plus there's bound to be a copy floating somewhere in a thrift shop or yard sale.

The washer chimes right as you grab the broom to sweep. Pausing this task to go retrieve your laundry and do the rest. You empty the dirty clothes left in the basket onto the floor and place the clean wet ones inside the basket. After starting the final load you carry the basket out back. As nice as this home is its still small and doesn't have a dryer, which early summer is fine but come fall and winter might be more cumbersome. Seeing as you have to hang the laundry out to dry outside. Maybe when it gets cold you'll just do smaller loads and hang them up in the bathroom or over the fire place. But that's a thought for future you. Right now current you is struggling yet again to get a fitted sheet to sit on the line. Fitted sheets are probably Satan himself in disguise.

When you finish stringing all the laundry up you take a moment to just enjoy the quiet and the peace that comes with the outside. It's nice out here, maybe after you finish the last few chores today you can come out and just draw, it'd be a good way to also keep an eye on this weather in case it turns. While it hasn't happened yet you're very aware of the risks you take by ignoring the existence of meteorologists. And by that you mean just not bothering to look up the weather for the day.

Heading back inside you restart your task of sweeping. Like you thought you've finished before the washer has even completed it's first cycle. The house isn't too big so it's easy to clean it from top to bottom within a day normally, but today you had even less to do thanks to this week's rearranging. So you move on to organizing your art supplies and separating all materials by medium.

Of course arranging materials is never easy, after all you end up staring at all your horded empty sketch books and note how your thumbnail notebooks are just covered in doodles and random scribbles but no real art or ideas. Maybe it's time to start kicking yourself into gear. You ran into a major period of burnout before moving and now with this fresh start you might be able to focus on progressing with art, even if you don't pursue it as a career. You've always loved the ability to draw and create images that make others happy. But right in this moment you just want to make yourself happy. Maybe you could start small just a few still lifes and see how you feel after that.

Hearing the chime of the washer you hurry to finish putting away the supplies in their newly assigned places. Just as before you transfer the wet and clean clothes into the awaiting basket and take them out to be hung to dry. You don't have another fitted sheet this go round so it goes by much faster than it previously had. Now with all of your washing for today hung you head back inside to grab a fresh sketchbook.

Having never been one for scenery, more of a portrait artist, you start off with small things. A few stills of a flower under the window, the old tire swing on the tree, and even the blue jay that dove for dinner right in front of you. Of course all of these were warm ups done in a few minutes, though you really wish you had more time on the blue jay one. You really need practice with things that aren't people.

The warm ups of course don't look very good, but you can still see what you'd been going for. The hatching and smudging you'd done, to increase depth and give the quick drawing more life, did help a little but it was clear this was an area where you weren't skilled. But that didn't deter you, after all you  needed more practice and wouldn't be getting better without it.

Deciding to draw the scene before you, a small open meadow surrounded by trees, in other words your backyard with your drying laundry. You start off slow and make sure to actually look and take in the yard in front of you, doing your best to not just make up the trees and their shapes as you go. Soon you are lost in the meditative muscle memory of drawing. The scratching of pencil scrapping across paper further lulling you into a trance like state as you etch out the scenery.

A harsh breeze blows through and the loud flapping of sheet hitting sheet knocks you loose from your trance. Checking to make sure none of your laundry was flying off, it hadn't the laundry was still secured to the line. Smiling you glance down to actually see what you've sketched out so far. It isn't too bad, though you aren't sure how long you've been working on it, the trees all have a distinct shape rather than your typical cartoon one size fits all attempts. Scanning the page your eyes catch onto something off, out in the tree line it looks like you'd drawn a figure hiding behind a tree.

Hearing the beating of your heart that's currently hammering against your chest you look around. Did your mind do that as a joke or had someone genuinely been watching you draw? Your mouth is dry as your eyes scan the tree line for any sign of what could've been mistaken for a person, but you saw nothing. No one was there. Had anyone ever really been there? Why would you draw that? Why wouldn't you remember doing it? You don't feel safe out here anymore. There are eyes watching you you can feel it. They may not physically be there but the phantom eyes that surround you and cause your skin to crawl make sure you know of their presence. You take that as a sign to head inside for the evening, one that doesn't need to be repeated.

You lock the door immediately behind you and check your phone. It's seven, and you have an email notification. Thanking whatever power for the distraction you slide down your back door and open the notification. It's from Hollis!

YN r u  coming to SND? It's that teen beach zombie movie u love. Y;know the awful D list one Blk and wht with the 50yos playing teenagers

Lemme know I'll save your seat.

Sent 6:47 P.M.

They're so sweet to remember you loved this awful D list zombie movie. Horrible subplots and main plot and all. But you're a little spooked right now and watching even that joke of a horror movie is probably too much for you. You doubt you'd feel better by the time ten rolls around to watch it. Not to mention your battery's still drained from Toby this morning. And knowing for a fact you'd probably stay late to talk till morning with Hollis, Jake, and Kirby you decide it's best to skip this week. Just not having the energy to handle Saturday Night Dead.

Nah, sorry man. Battery's dead from being social earlier. Thanks tho, I do appreciate you! ….....,.... lemme know what next week's movie is!

Sent 7:10 P.M.

It'd probably be a good time to make something for dinner, there's a box of mac n cheese in the pantry. Simple but always beloved. As you wait for Hollis to respond you start on boiling water. But you didn't have to wait too long since they'd answered near instantly.

Chill, don worry we'll catch ya next week

…..oooop

ot not...Kirb's said it's the start of watching the entire warren file collection

starting from the beginning

...well the first movie released, Insidious. LOL we probs won't ever see you again.

Sent 7:12 P.M.

How dare Kirby betray you like this. First off those movies are awful, and like not cheesy awful just awful awful. Not to mention he knows how you feel about the Warrens and their cases. You have a power point presentation ready for that dick the next time you see him. ...well not literally but you'd make one to prove a point!

Where's Kirby now? I just wanna talk, I just wanna talk is all.

Sent 7:18 P.M.

Already ran off toy vermont probably

will we get blessed with a ted talk nxt week?

Sent 7:20 P.M.

I can't tell if you're joking or not. If you aren't then yea I can make a power point and we'll play that instead of the movies. Every week until this town understands the severity of this.

Sent 7:21 P.M.

Ya just jkin.

Your passionate hate is funny tho, so could be good to do something mid warren marathon.

Sent 7:23 P.M.

Guess the dissertation on how horrendous the “exorcisms” were will have to wait. They'd just been joking. This is probably a good ending of the conversation anyway, it's hard to tell sometimes but you feel you'll just run in circles with the current topic or worse fall into a rant that they won't read all the way through because they'll have left with the rest of the stunt gang to get dinner before heading over to the Cryptonomica for Saturday Night Dead. Hollis is typically a real good sport about this kinda thing but you'd rather not bog down their night with your hate boner for the Warrens.

'I'll let them know later that I'll still come to Saturday Night Dead next week.' you think as you dump the pasta into the water that finally came to a boil. It's quiet as you cook your macaroni dinner. You'd normally not notice the lack of sound or life in your home before, but maybe having Connor and Toby over put things into perspective. Guests aren't really a thing you've ever had, you always feel rude if your social battery runs out before someone's stay is over. But maybe you're lonely, and it's put you on edge.

Though this week would've put anyone on edge, you have still been alone in this house for two months. That can't be healthy for your mental well being, humans are social creatures by nature after all. Maybe you could get a pet, something that'd make it's fair share of noise and give the home a bit more life than your normally hollow shell wondering the halls. Are you even sure you want a pet? Do you have time for one? You have the standard nine to five, but what about when you're off on a nightly trip because of your sleeplessness? What if you forgot about them? Hell your brain's been so foggy these last few months, it wouldn't be surprising.

Like a sign from the divine themselves, the pot of water boils over. Steam is rising as the sizzling is heard. Your head snaps twice to the right as you scramble to lower the heat and raise the pot off the eye. Putting it down on an unused eye you give it a quick stir and thankfully no pasta got burned to the bottom of the pan....this time. The pasta seems a little crunchy but a texture you'll eat so you kill the hot eye and start on the cheese portion of your mac n cheese.

As you eat you continue your original debate about getting a pet. Ultimately deciding that you just aren't ready for that kind of responsibility right now. Sure you'd had tons of pets in your parents' home but that was with a financial safety net and back when your mental health wasn't all over the place. Not to mention the pets were family pets and responsibility was split three ways.

There isn't much room in your home for you to have a roommate, and that presents a whole nother set of challenges. You could try to make friends through online forums again! It's hard to talk to people in general but you always get scared off before replying to a comment or post. Or overshare to the point people infantize you. Even better trying therapy out could help with your loneliness. Hah ok good one, even if you had money for it consistently you don't think you could trust someone knowing all your secrets but not knowing any of theirs. And while that in and of it self is an example of why you need it, you're rational enough to realize you aren't ready for that either.

After finishing your meal you put away the left overs and clean the dishes. You'll be happier tomorrow knowing they aren't your problem to deal with. You start to make your way to your bedroom but freeze just before the hall.

'You shouldn't stay here...you need to leave.'

A glance at the time tells you it's eight thirty-nine, if you left right now you could make it to Saturday Night Dead with time to spare. You don't need to fill the loneliness with new friends, just spend time with the ones you already have. Duh. Turning you grab your keys off the bookshelf and take one of the masks hanging from a hook by the door.

Checking your door was locked and locking your car once you were in, you're ready to drive. Knowing you're still overstimulated you forgo the music on this drive, hoping it will calm you down enough to enjoy the movie and some down time with friends. And that would help put a pin in your self isolating habits. It'd really be nice if you brought movie snacks over to surprise the gang. You're pretty sure the mini mart carries everything you need. Jake likes swedish fish, Hollis is addicted to those extreme sour airhead ropes, and Kirby's a weirdo with his love of red vines and surge. Hahaha that man will die before he's thirty-eight.

Still having the extra time you deiced to stop by the mini mart and grab the candy. What's the worse that can happen you have another panic attack in front of strangers. Plus you hadn't seen Magnolia the last few times and you'd hate for her to think you'd been ignoring her. Pulling into the empty mini mart parking lot you take a breath to steel your resolve before leaving your car.

Tim looks at the door when he hears the chime and stiffens when he sees you. Fuck you did have a panic attack in front of this guy last night, plus you really haven't formally met. But didn't Toby say his roommate was named Tim? And he and Brian were both here talking with Tim last night before you came in. That can't be coincidence.

“uh...hi?” you say awkwardly standing in the doorway, door closed behind you.

“um, hi?” perfect he's just as awkward in this situation as you are. You can work with this.

Moving through the first two isles you keep your eyes peeled for Magnolia, even though you can make this an in and out trip for candy, you do miss the little bodega cat.

“Wh- hey are you, are you even ok to be here?” Tim calls as he rounds the counter and makes his way to you.

“Huh? Oh...oh yea. I'm chill now.” you hear the bell before you see her. The little ting tin ting of her bell that comes with the grace only fluffy cats have.

“You literally collapsed on the floor last night after blacking out while driving.” his tone is very stern. He and Nate would probably get on like a house on fire. The grumpy old men who secretly care a lot duo.

“I don't remember collapsing...but I know I didn't drive.” well you don't know that but you do firmly believe that.

The man is just turning into the isle when you spot the floof sauntering just behind him. Magnolia didn't spare either of you a glance as she made her way to the counter. Probably going to her bed, an old shipping box for apples, you'd just meet her over there then. With no warning to the man you squeeze past him and and follow the cat. Agitated footsteps following after you in your quest to pet the cat.

Magnolia perks up upon seeing you, the flicking of her tail letting you know she's anticipating her pets. The huffing Tim hovering behind you isn't as pleased with your actions as the cat is. The man is radiating negativity, annoyance maybe or is it concern that breeds frustrated anger? The second he starts to clear his throat, as if to remind you of his hovering, you roll your eyes.

Looking back at him over your shoulder you see him in all his grumpy man glory.  His brow was furrowed so hard his thick eyebrows nearly covered his eyes. But with the way his lips emoted the man before you looked more like a pouting muppet. It would be funny if it weren't for the foreboding feeling of the moments before being reprimanded by a teacher.

When you straighten up you take note that your eyes meet perfectly. He's the same height as you that's surprising, you thought he'd be taller than 5'7. His eyes widen slightly at seeing your full height, it must've thrown him off since the first time he saw you, you'd actively been trying, and had succeeded at looking smaller.

“What are you doing here?” well he doesn't get thrown off for long.

Running a hand through Magnolia's fur a few more times as you respond, “Petting Magnolia.” you really are a little shit sometimes.

“No...no, why are you out? Toby had to take you home last night, you shouldn't just be waltzing around town after that.” maybe it was frustrated concern.

“Oh I'm fine now.”

Magnolia at this point has jumped up on the counter and is headbutting you for more attention. Chuckling you turn your attention back to her. Meanwhile Tim behind you is at a loss for words.

“Fine?? You don't just...bounce back from a panic attack.”there's personal experience behind those words.

“I just rationalize things fast.” Hearing the trill of the clock on the wall reminds you that you need to grab those snacks and head over to the Cryptonomica for movie night.

Going to the candy isle you grab one of each of the gang's favorites, you snag a bag of white cheddar popcorn on the way to the counter and place your items there. Tim doesn't get a word out before you rush off to the cooler near the back that is in all honesty pretty sketch. Like who even makes  Fruitopia anymore? That stuff got discontinued in the early 2000s. The cooler even has Hi-C Ecto Coolers...you might actually check if they're in date and grab a few.

Rummaging around the cooler you finally spot the weird tech green and black splattered can proudly stating SURGE. It has no date...questionable at best. But hey it's only Kirby drinking it, and it's been well established that man will die well before middle age.   Grabbing a can to check the Ecto Coolers, luck is on your side! These cans are from the re-release that happened as a promotion for the Ghostbusters revival a few years back, they'll be good for another two years! For now you'll just take one so you won't have to worry about lugging cans around for the movie.

Once your new items are placed on the counter the expression on Tim's face cannot even be described. The questions of the surge are probably the ones easiest to read...or they're just the most predictable.

“Kirby likes red vines and surge, sickening right?” Maybe a little joke will break the ice.

“...Like that little round pink...thing?”  What?

The laughter is coming out before you can stop it, the image of said pink Kirby consuming red vines and surge only to accessorize as your friend comes to mind. It's adorable and cursed at the same time. Adorably cursed. You'll have to draw that and print a few copies to hang around the Cryptonomica.

“No,” you're choking on giggles at this point, “Kirby, the owner of the Cryptonomica.” catching your breath and regaining your composure, “It's that tourist trap just across from the RV park.”

“Oh.” normally such a short cold reply would make you shut down the conversation. But This is Toby's roommate, and if you want to be friends with Toby, you'll probably run into him a lot more. Plus if he's a new night shift cashier it wouldn't hurt to be on good terms with him for when you're out on adventures.

“Yea, hey Toby mentioned you three just came to town, so you might not have known but the Cryptonomica does a weekly movie night on Saturdays. Saturday Night Dead. Normally it's awful old horror movies but next week they're starting a Warren Case files “arch”.” Tim doesn't take the conversation bait at the pause.

“It's a great way to meet other locals, you guys should check it out if you get the chance. It starts at ten and runs till one or so on most weeks.” Olive branch has been extended.

Tim relaxes for the first time since you got here tonight. The sheepish look on his face and twitchy pupils give the impression he's thinking it over. He sighs and nods before saying, “Yea, that sounds...nice.”

Olive branch skeptically taken! You'll count this one as a win in your book. With the mood lightened Tim breaks the ice a bit further.

“Surge and red vines can not be good for you.”

“Right! If living off mountain dew and pizza rolls doesn't kill him, this for sure will.” you both have a small laugh at that. It's nice to finally have cleared up the mix up from the beginning of the week. Which reminds you.

“Oh...um...I'm YN by the way. It's nice to meet you...sorry for the two,” your neck tics to the side, “previous nights.” you finish.

“Tim...and it,uh happens sometimes...'s fine.” Score awkward acknowledgment of previous meetings and you can now erase those from your nightly anxieties.

Tim finishes ringing and bagging your items and you pay. Giving another pet to the curled up kitty on the counter you nod farewell to Tim.

A trill rings out from the clock on the wall. It's ten.

Two heads snap to look at the wall. You take a second glance at your phone while Tim checks his watch. Both say the clock on the wall is correct. But it just turned nine not even ten minutes ago. Right? You can brush off yourself loosing track of time but when you involve another person that just doesn't make sense. Tim looks just as concerned as you. Only Magnolia lays unaffected by the lost fifty minutes.

“I should go.” Tim nods numbly to you as you exit the store.

You won't be able to make it to the movie, well you could but you'd disturb someone if you walked in mid movie. Choosing to go home instead you drive, once again without music. Entering your home you hang your mask back on the hook. Putting away the drinks and snacks for next weekend, you make your way to your bedroom. Once again freezing just before the hallway. Turning to your living room you can see a book in the middle of your coffee table. You definitely don't remember the book being there, and doubt you'd miss it out in the open. But as you got closer you could confirm, even in the dark, that it was The Book Thief.

[pangzi]

Otome Gay [Nielan] - Chapter 2

word count: 2394  other chapters:  INTRO - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 [AO3]

 Another week had passed since Huaisang gave Mingjue the game, and Mingjue was addicted. He had finished most storylines quite quickly, going for all endings as Huaisang had asked him to.

He had started with purple barista boy. At first he seemed like a brat with anger issues, but Mingjue quickly learned that with a few compliments the boy turned soft. Both stealing his heart and getting him to hate you weren’t very difficult with him. The neutral ending, however, was a pain in the ass to get. Give him one compliment too many, or say one wrong thing and your chance of a neutral ending drops to nearly zero.

Then he chose to try the med student. He was exactly as Mingjue expected him to be from the way he was drawn. He was a cute, shy boy. He looked up to his sister, as Huaisang had told Mingjue and was extremely driven. He was sweet, sometimes a little too sweet. Mingjue had to try his route so often he almost started to wonder if this boy even had a negative ending. Both the neutral and positive endings, however, were fairly easy to obtain.

Mingjue was currently trying to finish the rich kid’s routes. At first he didn’t like this one. The boy was a bit too proud for Mingjue’s liking. Mingjue kept getting stuck trying to get the positive ending, always getting the neutral one. This was the longest Mingjue had ever spent trying to finish one route without getting an alternative ending or having to restart. As a last resort, Mingjue was currently working all possible jobs in the game, trying to get enough money to buy rich kid the most expensive gifts. Right when Mingjue was about to buy said gifts, rich kid showed up at Mingjue’s house! To say Mingjue was surprised, when rich kid presented his character with a bouquet of roses and asked to give him a chance. Mingjue wasn’t sure whether he was annoyed at this ending, or if he was just happy he finally got the good ending and could finally move on.

After a shower and a quick meal, Mingjue decided to start the last character. Mingjue liked to tell himself that he left this one for last just because he was always together with the dancer kid Mingjue didn’t like. Definitely not because he was saving the best for last. 

He played the game all weekend and had only managed to unlock the neutral ending several times. Still, this was the character he enjoyed the most. Can a video game character have a calming aura? Because this character definitely had it. 

This was impossible. Absolutely impossible, and still Mingjue knew it shouldn’t be impossible. He had been able to unlock all endings for the other characters, so why was Art Guy different? Huaisang had said he was special, but it wouldn’t be that dating him was impossible, right? No, Art Guy was special enough without that. He was kind, more kind than any of the other characters. He had a beautiful smile, the only smile Mingjue actually noticed even. Conversations with him were always nice, never felt repetitive, and Mingjue just wanted to date him!

He was getting in too deep, way too deep. He had to stop playing. As a last resort, Mingjue had even tried to befriend the annoying little dancer boy, who ended up being even more annoying than expected. Befriending dancer boy only ended in Mingjue unlocking his positive ending, which made him want to throw his laptop out of the window. That’s when he knew it was time to stop. Enough otome game for the day…

Mingjue was going to get in bed, and have a nice long rest. It wasn’t until he got to bed he looked at the time. It was nearly 3AM and Mingjue wanted to die of shame. He needed a break from the game, he really did. This was going too far. He got in bed and promised himself that tomorrow he would not open the game, he wouldn’t even think of it or Art Guy. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t think of it right now. Yes, he was definitely getting in too deep. 

Mingjue was forcefully awoken from his slumber by his phone. Before he even looked at who was calling him, he checked the time. It was 7AM. What idiot calls him this early? Nobody he knew was even up this early. 

The idiot was Huaisang. Mingjue’s heart stopped for a minute. If Huaisang was calling him this early something must be up, Huaisang never woke up before ten. 

“Dage~”, Huaisang whined dramatically, the way only his brother could do. 

“Huaisang, what’s wrong?” Mingjue asked.

“Dage, you need to help me”, Huaisang whined. “It’s urgent” 

“Huaisang, tell me what’s wrong you’re worrying me” 

“Promise you won’t get mad at me first”, Huaisang mumbled. 

“Huaisang-” Mingjue grumbled, but then just sighed and promised. 

Huaisang hesitated for a bit. “I forgot my backpack at home and there’s a super important assignment inside it that I need to hand in this afternoon”, he mumbled and Mingjue immediately felt himself get annoyed. “I have class all morning so I can’t come pick it up, could you please, please, please, come bring it to my dorm.” 

Mingjue would like to say this was the first time Huaisang had forgotten his backpack at home but, sadly, it wasn’t. Mingjue couldn't even count the amount of times Huaisang has forgotten it on two hands. This was the first time it took him an entire week to notice, though. He sighed deeply, trying his best not to sound as annoyed as he was. 

“Is it in your room?” Mingjue asked, “I should be able to get it to you around lunchtime.” Huaisang immediately let out a sigh of relief and started thanking his brother. “How did it take you this long to notice, though?” Mingjue couldn’t help but ask. 

“I didn’t need it”, Huaisang stuttered.

“You didn’t need your backpack, full of school equipment, for over a week?” 

“I have to go to class”, Huaisang said quickly, “I’ll send you the address of my dorm again later. Thank you, dage!” Mingjue received the address and directions soon after Huaisang ended the call. 

Too annoyed by his brother’s stupidity to sleep, Mingjue decided to just get up and take his time getting ready. He had three more hours to fill before he had to leave. Looking in the mirror, he needed his time to get ready. He hadn’t shaved since Huaisang left and his hair resembled a bird’s nest.

After a thorough shower, a big breakfast and some exercises for his still healing foot, Mingjue was on his way to Huaisang’s university. He had forgotten how horrible public transport was, his hurt foot only making the two hour journey that more annoying, but seeing his brother again would be worth it. He had only seen him a week ago, but he just couldn’t help but miss the brat more than usual now that he was stuck at home alone. 

Huaisang’s directions were great, until he actually arrived on campus. This place was a maze and Huaisang’s directions were incredibly confusing, it didn’t take Mingjue long to get lost, at the moment he couldn’t even find his way back to somewhere the directions actually took him. With a deep sigh he gave up on even trying anymore and decided to just ask someone for help. 

But that was easier said than done, most people either shied away from the giant man asking them for help, or just told him they had to get to class and bolted, some girl even just said “I have a boyfriend” the second he approached her. 

“Good for you”, Mingjue replied but before he could even ask her for directions she had gotten up and left. This was hopeless, was he that intimidating? He had no choice but to keep trying until Huaisang got out of class, though. 

After two more people who just plain ignored him, and one who just told him no, he finally found someone who didn’t seem to think Mingjue was out to murder or date them. This one actually approached him, tapping him on the shoulder softly.

“Do you need some help?” A gentle, melodic voice asked. Mingjue couldn’t help but thank the gods as he turned around.

“Yes, please”, he replied and then completely lost all ability to speak. Right in front of him was Art Guy from Huaisang’s game. Was he hallucinating? Had the sun gotten him so dehydrated he was now imagining hot men? But, this man had tapped him on the shoulder, he had to be real! Or had he hallucinated that too? In his slight panic, he completely missed the hot stranger asking him something. 

“Are you okay? Here, have some water it’s quite hot today”, Art Guy pressed a bottle of water in Mingjue’s hands and ushered him to drink something. Yes, Mingjue needed a moment to get his thoughts in order. 

“Thank you”, Mingjue muttered, slightly ashamed of his reaction. “Could you maybe tell me how to get to this building? My brother forgot something at home over the weekend and asked me to drop it off”

Luckily Art Guy didn’t seem too bothered by Mingjue’s completely shocked reaction and just beamed at him. “You’re lucky, I’m going to there right now.” Mingjue was still trying to process the beautiful smile blinding him only seconds ago, to realise the man wanted him to follow him. With a deep breath he shook himself out of it, trying to calm his heart that was beating out of control, and followed the handsome stranger. 

They walked in silence for a while, Mingjue trying to figure out a reason for this entire situation, but he couldn’t really come up with anything, his brain to caught up in trying to take in the absolutely stunning human being walking next to him. 

“My brother lives in the same building as yours”, Art Guy suddenly said, “He might even know your brother, he seems to be on the same floor.”

“What’s his name?” Mingjue asked, “Maybe Huaisang has mentioned him, he usually has quite some dorm gossip whenever we speak”

Art Guy laughed. The sound did something to Mingjue’s heart and he couldn’t help but smile. It was a sound Mingjue wouldn’t mind hearing more often. 

“I doubt he will have any gossip about my brother. Wangji is quite the model student.” Art Guy said. “I’m Lan Xichen, by the way” Art Guy, Xichen, threw him another bright smile, after he introduced himself and maybe Mingjue’s heart stopped for a moment. Mingjue had no idea what was happening, no man had ever had such influence on him this fast. 

“Nie Mingjue,” Mingjue hummed, “Huaisang might have mentioned him” Mingjue was almost sure he had, but he couldn’t exactly remember in what context. Huaisang told him so much gossip about so many people, it was only normal Mingjue couldn’t remember. 

“We’re almost there”, Xichen said, “Wangji and I have lunch together every Monday, I got lost on my way to his dorm every single time in the beginning”

Mingjue felt his cheeks heat up a bit, but it was nice to know he wasn’t stupid for getting lost. “Huaisang gave me directions, but this place… Everything looks the same I couldn’t figure out where to go”

Xichen laughed again. “I know, I know exactly how you feel, and when you ask for help everyone looks at you like you’re insane!”

“I was starting to think something was wrong with me”, Mingjue chuckled, “Thankfully you found me!” 

“I immediately recognized the signs”, Xichen said, “I knew I had to help!”

“I’m glad you did, otherwise I’d still be begging people to help me”

Xichen smiled at him and then motioned to a building. “I have safely brought you to your destination!” They walked inside, only to be stopped by someone immediately. 

The person in front of them looked at Mingjue with a slight frown on his face for a moment before turning to Xichen. “Brother”, he greeted Xichen. 

“Wangji”, Xichen beamed, “Sorry I’m a bit late, I couldn’t help but help Mingjue here find the way here too! We got a bit distracted chatting and I took a wrong turn somewhere” They did? Mingjue hadn’t even noticed, which wasn’t that surprising as he didn’t know the place at all. Wangji nodded at Mingjue and then turned to his brother again. 

“Shall we go then? If we are late they might give our table to someone else”, Wangji asked his brother, and before Mingjue knew Xichen was saying his goodbyes, quickly pointing him towards Huaisang’s hallway before disappearing with his brother. 

Mingjue tried to say goodbye as well, but everything went so fast and before he even got the chance to say thank Xichen properly for helping him, Wangji had already pulled his brother towards the doors again. Mingjue should have asked for his number… Not that there had been a good time, but he should’ve created a good moment to asked. 

Trying not to sulk about it too much, Mingjue made his way to where Huaisang’s dorm was. He had barely knocked on the door when it swung open already.

“Dage~!” Huaisang yelled, pulling him inside and immediately pulling his backpack from his brother’s shoulders. “Did you find your way here easily? I guess you did as you didn’t call me for more directions”

“Actually”, Mingjue huffed, “Your directions were shit, I had to ask someone here for help” 

Huaisang looked at him with a shy grin for a moment, before shrugging and starting to rummage through his backpack. “But you found it!”

“I did… And about that, Huaisang” Huaisang’s eyes got big at his brother’s tone. He knew something was coming that his brother wasn’t too happy about. “How come I bumped into one of your video game characters. I almost thought I was hallucinating!” 

“You didn’t tell him?” Huaisang’s roommate asked, Mingjue hadn’t even noticed he was there too. Huaisang just laughed nervously and hid himself behind his fan as he always did when nervous. 

“Tell me what?” Mingjue grumbled. 

Huaisang’s roommate turned around in his chair, Mingjue nearly cringed at the way he was sitting, that position couldn’t be comfortable. “We based our character designs on people we know! My brother is in it, my sister’s annoying peacock boyfriend, my boyfriend’s brother and his best friend, my best friend…” 

Mingjue turned to his brother again, slightly annoyed. “And you didn’t think I should know?” 

Huaisang shrugged. “We live two hours away, it’s not like the chance was big you would ever bump into them!”

Mingjue was about to open his mouth again but Huaisang was already pulling him back outside. “Dage, stop worrying about it, now you know! Let's go eat, I’m hungry and you don’t want to spend the precious time you have with your brother being angry at him, do you?” 

Mingjue just sighed and wrapped an arm around his brother. He was right, it wasn’t like it was something that could’ve harmed him. It was just weird bumping into someone he’d been actively trying to date in some game all weekend. Mingjue couldn’t help but be curious, though.

“Which one is he?” Mingjue asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Xichen, is he the brother, the sister’s boyfriend, the boyfriend’s brother…?”

Huaisang grinned at his brother, softly bumping his shoulder against him. Mingjue stopped the teasing words that were about to leave Huaisangs mouth with a glare. “The boyfriend’s brother.” Huaisang answered instead. “And if you would like to know, I’m pretty sure he’s into men, maybe I could even set up a date!” 

“Nie Huaisang!” Mingjue grumbled, pushing his brother away. He didn’t need his brother setting up dates for him! He could do that perfectly fine himself! If only he could meet Xichen again… 

[boog-shitposting-edition]

So I been playing a ton of Kenshi and watched all of the Mandalorian in a single day shortly before and it’s got me thinking about what makes what I consider a good action hero, because there was definitely a time where I thought the phrase “good action hero” was an oxymoron.

I grew up around some angry, unstable dudes who had that bad habit of watching horror movies and opining that in the same situation they would simply shoot the monster with the gun the character was holding. I got some views on the model of masculinity that sees the male ideal as functionally a tool for performing violence, condescension and occasional reddit-approved banter with all other emotional responses pared away or suppressed. This seems like a good way to manufacture a product for performing labor rather than developing a whole functional human being. So I generally veer away from that sort of thing pretty hard.

So I’m resistant to the Mandalorian at first, right? All the ads are basically star wars apocryphica and a power armored fighty gun boy. The last star wars thing I’d seen was The Rise Of Skywalker and my faith in the franchise is low. But it’s been a hot minute, the hype dies down, and my girlfriend is a better and more patient fan than I’ll ever be so we give it a go. And the first thing that really nails it for me is what a DORK the mando is. I’m delighted, his life is violence interdispersed with being an absolute buttfumble disaster. He slips and falls over things he could never have predicted, he burns his life down for a baby he finds in the desert. Pedro Pascal references Boba Fetts stiff menace and plays it off as someone who has no social skills other than stiff menace and it’s FASCINATING. Him explaining to the village woman who is obviously into him that he hasn’t taken the armor off since he was thirteen isn’t a badass declaration of martial devotion, it is the single saddest and most awkward interaction I have ever seen filmed and it hits all the harder for the fact that this is a character I’ve mostly ever seen as an action figure with a spring loaded missile backpack. Instead of being a faceless emotionless action-cudgel, Pedro amps up the body language in his acting to really sell you this heavily psychologically damaged, desperate, viking-space-catholic mess with no life skills other than violence and a devotion to his people’s creed that borders on obsession. Rather than paring himself down making him a psychological fortress, the Mando is an incredibly obvious walking raw nerve (”I’m not sad-” “Yes you are.”) So, Kenshi.

I’ve heard about this game on and off a few years and finally got it a few days ago. It’s been in early access since 2012, appears to be mostly getting finished by its modding community, and glitches like absolute woah. There’s no core storyline, just a post-apocalyptic setting with some surprisingly detailed autogenerated NPC interactions with some options for starting conditions and the sole goal of surviving. It’s essentially a rapid sequence of story prompts hidden underneath a closely interlocked system of XP grinding, survival mechanics and dismemberment algorithms, and is appallingly my shit.

My first run at the game got pretty far, went from a lone confused desert wanderer to a 13 man village running a tidy copper-mining operation to trade with the ant people. In the early game, fight mechanics are basically a death sentence; my first character immediately got her leg torn off by a goat and I had to restart. All skills grow only by excersizing them; you have to fight to get better at fighting, you have to LOSE fights to gain toughness, and when you lose a fight the consequences can range from “these bandits are stealing all your food” to “this monster is eating your leg/heart/head” to “these slavers are taking your character away and your game experience is Different now.” And while I was proud of myself for finding a way to survive, grow and thrive with a low-combat squad, once I tried the basebuilding mechanics that basically just meant my town was a source of free food and money for local bandits while my squad starved to death, unable to abandon our locale. So I got fed up and restarted.

As mentioned the game gives you different start positions; wanderer gives you 1 character, some money and pants. Guy and his dog gives you a dog, which is fun. Exiled officer starts you with good skills and the hatred of your former commander, which complicates things. Cannibal Hunters starts you already in a fistfight with 30 cannibals. It’s exciting times. But I figure this time I’d like to start my squad a LITTLE more capable of defending themselves, so I look at the Holy Sword start; you’re a bandit who starts with a stolen holy weapon, minuses in most skills, no money and a 20,000 bounty on your head from both major factions.

So I proceed to character creation and notice I can pick whatever I want for player species/subspecies with this start. There’s robot people and warriors made of stone and baseline humans and all sorts of fun options, but you remember those ant people I mentioned before? In game they’re called the Hivers, you find ‘em in 3 recruitable varieties (prince, worker drone and soldier) and they have an interesting in-universe quirk; ones that grow up in the hive are pheramone-addicted, chemically wired into the needs and wants of all of their fellows, but if you’re away from your kin for over a fortnight this addiction dries out incredibly fast and cannot be reinstated. Hivers who ever spend any time away from the hive are declared “lost ones,” and are often taken advantage of in the outside world as they long for a new community.

In survival sims I dont often play dedicated fighters, I always feel like being a brutal fight-beast isn’t really in the spirit of finding a niche to exploit and growing from a fumbling plebian to a major power. But I was already starting this game with my ONLY advantage being a nice sword. And the soldier hivers gain a buff to experience gained for melee attack and toughness, and a debuff to literally all else.

Manual labor. Science. Engineering. Farming. Cooking. First aide. In a setting that heavily prioritized your ability to survive using multiple vital skill sets, my character would start with negatives in his skills for putting on band-aids and FEEDING himself. So I gave it a go.

Getting more wild here, it turns out the Holy Sword opening also takes place in a time in the setting with more recent warfare, so a bunch of the starting villages are destroyed and it appears that more of the nearby cities are controlled by the factions that have a bounty on me. So my character CAN’T rely on other people or meet anyone to recruit at first. He can run, he can scrounge and scavenge, and as mentioned above starting characters can take lethal damage from GOATS so he can’t even hunt for food; the only way I was getting a meal was if I robbed someone or ran into merchants on the road I could hawk my salvage to for a scrap of bread.

He eventually finds someone willing to join him on his travels in spite of being flat broke, a shek named Ruka running from a dishonerable loss on the battlefield, and comparing their skills he’s so useless for everything besides combat that I assign him to bodyguard her. And again, this game’s appeal is that the survival mechanics make good story prompts, so imagine that in character.

“Fine, I need a change. I’ll join you.” “Thank god. Lead the way boss.” “What?”

Things regarding my characters bounty are starting to heat up in town, so we head north into hiver territory. We get attacked by bandits and heavily injured, my soldier gets knocked out, so Ruka picks him up and carries him until we find a hive town. I saw these guys all the time in my last playthrough, I survived by selling to them, they’re super friendly, should be fine. Ruka walks into the local shop and before I can have her ask for directions and a medikit the shopkeeper is already shouting- “SKREEE! LOST ONE! GET OUT! LOST ONES BRING MADNESS”

Apparently, my protagonist being a hiveless hiver means there’s a THIRD faction that’s hostile to him; his own goddamn people. Ruka has to leave him under a tree not just outside but like 50 feet from the edge of town, and just has  to hope none of the local wild megafauna eats him while she rushes back in to buy things from the now abruptly friendlier shopkeep.

I’m finally sitting there, having Ruka watch my soldier hiver sleep while she cooks scavanged meat and waits for him to finish healing, that I realize what the story being generated here is and it’s a good one; a Hive soldier whose only skills are violence, frantically scavenging and stealing to survive until he can find the one circumstance where he’s comfortable, sacrificing himself to protect others. He steals a sword that’s obviously important to two major governments, just because he knows it’s powerful and thinks that power will justify his continued existence as a hiveless soldier drone, essentially buying his way back into his people’s good graces by performing his function. Literally wandering the world until he found a single person who was willing to boss him around again and devoting himself to their defense to a state of pathological damage just to feel like he has a hive again. It’s sad. It’s badass. It’s deeply, unsettlingly pathetic.

But I also think it’s what makes a really really good gruff action hero!

Hypercompetence in violence is really interesting when you acknowledge the damage it can do to your humanity in the storytelling! The Mandalorian is unsuccessful in repressing his empathy response so he just tries to tough through the pain it causes him as best he can, until he meets The Child and it snaps. The Hiver is essentially playing pretend at being still valued as a product for committing violence, even in the face of being openly rejected for his previously esteemed role. This stuff is INTERESTING.

TL;DR version, a lot of these “supersoldier raised by the military/fight wizards/karate” characters are super boring and obnoxious when they’re put forward as power fantasies, and really interesting when you realize that being raised by Fight Wizards is why they’ve never had a girlfriend and called their handgun “mom” once.

[shifting-is-wack]

Shifting Journal: Entry 9

hi yall!

Last night I didn't meditate or anything really, I didn't do a single homework assignment, I didnt even think about shifting. Then as I was trying to go to sleep I decided to listen to a guided meditation to help sleep cuz I was having a little trouble. Then while I was falling asleep to it I ended up thinking about shifting and trying to shift. And guys, I legit got so close. While the guided meditation was going, I wasnt really listening and I wasn't using a method I had ever read about but one that I kinda made on the spot (I’ll make another post about it right after) that I’m gonna call the window method I guess

Anyway the meditation was only 10 minutes and I wasn't even listening so when it ended I turned on a subliminal thing and listened to that while I restarted the method. I wasn't laying in starfish position or anything I was kinda on my side but also kinda on my back idk how to explain it. 

I felt like my arms were kinda like gone? almost like I was floating I guess. I also started seeing something bright with my eyes closed so I kinda, followed it with my eyes? After a bit of that I realized my eyes were kind of opening but some part of my mind reminded me that I scripted that my eyes would open when I shifted so I didn't really fight it but I also wasn't fully aware at the time, but I ended up opening then and I was in my cr bedroom :/ at that point I was too aware/tired so I just turned over and went to sleep.

A weird thing that happened was that when I woke up I felt really good and I woke up early and did my whole morning routine and stuff, and I felt like really good and like I was going to finish all my homework. I was thinking about how in another reality I shifted then I kinda had like a weird feeling of being a clone, which was totally weird but idk. Clones are just your alternate self who did not shift so I guess we’re al kind of clones if we’re not currently shifting? I dunno. dont quote me on anything I am not a good source lol

anyway this was long winded so yeah oh wait another thing is that tomorrow is a full moon so I plan on actually trying and preparing to shift tomorrow :) (11/29/20-8:11pm)

[inmyownlittlecorner5]

libera nos a malo chapter 6: si, un mostro son

A fanfic Novel by la-topolina

Rated for Mature Audiences

Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Content

Chapter 6/20

libera nos a malo masterpost+

unstoppable force/immovable object masterpost+

<< chapter five+

chapter seven+ >>

During the first Potions lesson of the New Year, Cassie called in a favor. She hated to do this, preferring to hoard them like a miser hoards gold; but she knew that a favor never spent was almost as useless as one you’d never had in the first place. And she hadn’t wasted all of third year trailing Draco Malfoy in order to give Pansy Parkinson a detailed account of the boy’s habits and routines for nothing.

She arrived early for class to claim her prize as Draco’s bench partner for the rest of term. As a peace offering (for she doubted he would be pleased with the new arrangement), she gathered the supplies listed on the board for the day’s lesson, setting up both of their work spaces with quick efficiency and shaking hands. She’d not forgotten the feel of Fenrir Greyback’s teeth on her neck, and when Pansy flounced into the room and gave her a haughty glare before slinking to the back to partner with Tracey Davis, Cassie had to restrain herself from laughing out loud. She would never be afraid of the likes of Pansy Parkinson again.

Draco barely looked at her when he arrived, and she knew from the house elf chatter that he’d been up most of the night again. Class began as usual with Professor Slughorn asking a simple question and Hermione Granger regurgitating the text book. Apparently this was what the professor considered sufficient instruction, and he set them loose to create a credible antidote for the mystery poison assigned to them. When she and Draco each had their poison simmering in their cauldrons, she quietly drew a piece of parchment from her textbook and slid it across the worktable to her partner.

He glanced at it and stuffed it into his pocket. “Your uncle?” he asked indifferently.

“Yes. It’s the first step to restarting the magic. If it’s not too much trouble, please take notes on what happens when you follow those directions. Then I can send them to Uncle, and he’ll be able to advise you on what to do next,” she replied, her head bent over her work.

“This is going to take too long.”

“I’m sorry. We’re doing the best we can. If you like, I could come with you and take the notes myself. It might make the whole operation go a little faster.”

“No. I don’t need anymore of your help.”

“Something wrong, Draco?” asked Professor Slughorn from where he lazed at the front of the room, his feet propped up on a velvet poof.

“No, sir,” Draco quickly replied. “We were just discussing the next step.”

Professor Snape would not have allowed this to pass unexamined, but Professor Slughorn was thankfully both more benevolent and less energetic than their Head of House.

“Very good, carry on,” he said, and returned to his reading.

The antidote preparation soon demanded their complete attention, and it wasn’t until Cassie was painstakingly extracting the essence from a year-old cat’s gallbladder that they had time to speak again.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” she said. “I’m doing my best.”

He curled his lip unpleasantly at her, but she had the distinct feeling that if she prodded his angry mask ever so slightly, it would crumble into despair.

“Yeah, well, you’d better try harder,” he hissed back.

She swallowed hard and turned her focus to the extraction; trying not to think about Greyback’s teeth.

*****

On Thursday evening, Finn and Miranda were lingering over bowls of jambalaya and glasses of iced coffee in the MACUSA cafeteria while they waited for Finn’s portkey home. The Marx Brothers were the evening’s wall entertainment, and Miranda gave Harpo and Chico half her attention while a sweet sort of melancholy tickled her heart. She rarely spent time in self-reflection, but the looming end of this visit with her favorite living brother was tempting her to the vice.

“I’m going to miss you,” she said, hoping to disarm some of the emotion by speaking it aloud.

“Course you are,” he replied, a flattering mix of disappointment and affection on his face. “It ain’t the same at home without you, no matter how many times you go off. But if you’re really aimin’ to set up a homestead here, maybe now’s the time to start easin’ everybody into the idea.”

Leave it to Finn to thrust her right back into the middle of her confusion. “I’m not going to stay here forever.”

“You sure about that? I mean, we’ll give you shit about it, but if it’s what you want we’d all back your decision.”

She dragged her spoon through the dregs of her bowl, avoiding his shrewd eyes. “It’s not what I want. I mean, I’m planning to stay for awhile longer. The money’s good over here, and much as I hate all Healers, I want to keep working with Healer A’isha at least until I’m back to normal.”

He wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. “And then there’s always Severus Snape.”

“I’m not staying because of him.” God, she didn’t want to talk about this now.

“Miranda Jane Rose, you lie to whoever you want, exceptin’ yourself and me.”

“I’m not lying to you!”

“Then what the actual fuck is going on with the two of you?”

“You wait until now to ask me that? You’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

“Exactly. There’s no time for you to beat around the bush. Now talk.”

“Ass. It’d serve you right if I just left you here without saying anything.”

“Probably.” He pulled out a pair of cigarettes and flipped one to her. “But you ain’t gonna.”

She gave a sigh of resignation and snapped her fingers to light the cigarettes. “The truth is, I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. I thought it was just going to be a casual thing—just blowing off steam. It was that way for a long time. And then it wasn’t.”

“Do you love him?”

There was no way on God’s green earth that she was going to admit to that out loud. “I’d be an idiot if I did. He’s in the middle of a giant shit show over here, and he’s tied up in enough emotional knots to make Alexander scream.”

“Seems to me you know a thing or two about shit shows and fucked up emotions. Does he love you?”

“You are like a dog after a bone, Finn.”

He had the audacity to wink at her. “Yep.”

She never could lie to Finn. “He’s never said so, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he did. I’m not stupid. The way he looked after me when I got hurt in Romania—I know he wouldn’t have done all that if he didn’t care. And I know it hurt him when I moved out of his rooms and back to my cabin. But I couldn’t stay there with him and let it all choke me.”

“You do what you gotta do; but if he’s in that deep and you don’t feel the same way, it seems only sportin’ to let him go.”

“I know.”

“But?”

She puffed out a few rings of smoke and sent them dancing in and out of each other beneath the bright cafeteria lights. “But I don’t want to.”

“Interestin’. It ain’t your style to play with hearts like that.”

“I don’t need you to point that out to me. I know it’s a shit thing to do.”

“I ain’t here to judge you. Just watch your back. Even a lowly No-Maj like me can tell shit is hot over here, and I don’t wanna be goin’ to your funeral. I’ve had enough of buryin’ siblings to last me a lifetime.”

“Don’t I know it?”

They snuffed out their cigarettes and tossed them into their empty bowls. The interrogation had lasted long enough that they had to rush through the Hall of Virtues to make it to the Transportation Hub on time. Finn queued up at the back of the portkey line, and set down his rucksack to give his sister a fierce hug. She buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in the smell of home, and her throat was so tight it hurt to breathe. When he let go of her at last, his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“See ya ‘round, Sis,” he said. “If you need anything, you call me. I’ll be here in two shakes.”

“I will,” she replied. “And same goes for you.”

He ran a hand through his hair, threw his rucksack over his shoulder, and stepped up on wide platform. The ruby slipper appeared on the marble pedestal before him, and he threw her one final grin over his shoulder before reaching out to touch the portkey.

Then he spun away, back to Kansas and home.

*****

Half an hour later Miranda was hurtling into classroom 1B, ten minutes late for her first Animagus lesson. She skidded to a halt and fought the urge to wince at the way her boots echoed through the cavernous room. The door slammed ominously shut behind her, and Minerva McGonagall did not deign to look up from the podium where she sat marking scrolls and looking severely disappointed. Miranda’s face turned red as she slunk penitentially to a desk near the back of the room, and she was surprised to see Remus Lupin, dressed in tattered trousers and an overlarge flannel shirt, already sitting in the back corner. He gave her a sympathetic look when their eyes met, but she had the distinct feeling that he was studying her every move, withholding judgement until she either won her place as his working partner—or lost it completely.

“How good of you to join us, Miss Rose,” Minerva said, still busily marking. “I take it you had trouble getting through security?”

Miranda already liked Hagrid too much to throw him under the Knight Bus. “No, Ma’am. My brother was heading back home tonight, and I didn’t figure in enough time to get from the Embassy to here. Sorry for the inconvenience, it won’t happen again.”

Minerva let this answer hang in the air and Miranda slid into a desk a few rows in front of Remus, suddenly feeling eleven years old again.

“See that it doesn’t,” Minerva said crisply.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Minerva finished marking the scroll while Miranda fell victim to the sort of restlessness that only descended on her in the classroom. Through monumental effort, she managed to restrain this feeling to the tapping of one toe inside her boot, but she knew it would only be a matter of minutes before she felt like screaming. At last the steely professor rolled up the scroll, laid down her quill, and gave her student a look that showed how very unimpressed she was with the American witch thus far.

“May I safely assume that you have read Perdix’s Animagi Liberatus?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“And do you have any initial questions on the material?”

“No, Ma’am.”

“Then please stand up and cast a Patronus.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” The chair squeaked horribly as she got up, and her boots sounded thunderous as she took her place in the middle of the empty aisle. She wet her lips and did her best to banish all these little humiliations with the thought of spring and perfect baseball games. “Expecto Patronum!”

The bobcat burst immediately out of her wand, displaying a confidence she didn’t quite feel. It eyed the inhabitants of the room curiously, slinking around Miranda’s ankles before prowling across the room to Remus.

“Funny, I thought you were a dog person,” he observed, returning the Patronus’s stare with an amused one of his own.

“I am. God has a sense of humor,” Miranda quipped.

“Please keep the commentary to a minimum,” Minerva ordered.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Remus and Miranda chorused.

“Thank you. Now, I want you to take a moment to study your Patronus as minutely as you can,” Minerva said.

Miranda squatted down to do as she was bid, narrowing her eyes as she marked each stripe and curve of her silvery bobcat. The Patronus ignored her, still staring at Remus, until it gave a hiss of displeasure and darted up one of the bookcases to perch imperiously on the top.

“Are you ready?” Minerva asked when the Patronus was settled.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Miranda had never made an emptier boast.

“To remind you, the incantation is Amato Animo Animato Animagus,” Minerva said.

“Decline puer,” Miranda muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Minerva clearly didn’t believe her, but she let it pass. “Picture your Patronus as you speak the words, and don’t fight whatever happens afterwards.”

“Okay, here goes.” Miranda took a deep breath and let her mind go mildly unfocused. “Amato Animo Animato Animagus.”

As soon as the final syllable left Miranda’s lips, her skin started to itch everywhere. Her reptilian brain started to panic as coarse, striped fur sprouted all over her limbs and her spine stretched and snapped like a rubber band. She closed her eyes against the pain as her right hand shriveled into a mangled caricature of a cat’s paw. Gradually the pain and the pitiful pseudo-transformation stopped. Remus’s eyes were glinting with humor when she opened hers again, although he had the decency not to laugh at her attempt.

“Not bad for a first try,” Minerva allowed.

“Surely we don’t need an audience for this,” Miranda said in a voice that was now colored by a throaty purr. “We must be wasting Mr Lupin’s time.”

“Not at all,” Remus replied. “The more time I spend with you, the less likely I’ll be to attack you when the wolf takes over. The Wolfsbane Potion isn’t always enough on its own.”

“I see.”

“Please shift back to your human form and then we’ll try again,” Minerva ordered brusquely.

“God, this is going to be worse than Apparition,” Miranda muttered. “Amato Hominis.”

Remus’s eyes were still on her, and she did her best not to flinch at the discomfort of shifting back.

“Whenever you’re ready, Miss Rose,” Minerva said.

Miranda had a sinking feeling that Minerva McGonagall was going to turn out to be an even sterner taskmaster than Severus Snape.

*****

By the end of the lesson, Miranda ached from head to toe and wanted nothing more than to crawl down to Severus’s rooms and beg for a massage. Remus, unfortunately, stuck to her like a bad penny, and she had to make a show of “going home” for his sake.

“Care to join me for a drink at the Hog’s Head?” he asked as they went out into the frozen night.

She didn’t, but something in his tone told her this question was another test. “Sure. We should probably get to know one another if we’re going to be working together.”

“I agree.”

Hagrid and Fang met them at the gate, and they paused long enough for Miranda to scratch the mastiff behind his floppy ears. Once they were clear of the school’s wards, Remus held out his hand to her. His skin was rough and calloused, and soon she felt the unpleasant pull behind her navel as he side-alonged her to the edge of the Hogsmeade High Street. The Inn was quiet when they arrived, dingy and smelling of old ale. A dour man with bright eyes and a long hoary beard manned the bar, and he grunted to them by way of greeting.

“I’d take a pint when you get a minute, Aberforth,” Remus said as they went by. “What would you like, Miss Rose?”

“Rye if you’ve got it, Firewhiskey if you don’t,” she replied.

Aberforth muttered something derisive and shuffled away to gather their drinks while Remus led her to a table in the furthest recesses of the bar. Without asking, he took the chair with its back to the wall, putting her in the uncomfortable position of relying on his eyes for protection. They stared at each other, each taking the measure of the other, until Aberforth arrived with a chipped bowl of greasy popcorn, a pint of cloudy ale, and a glass of flaming liquor.

“To new beginnings,” Remus said, raising his glass.

“New beginnings.” Miranda clinked her glass to his and drank without breaking eye contact.

“So tell me,” he asked as he picked at the popcorn. “How did you wind up working for Albus Dumbledore?”

After the excellent dinner at the Embassy, Miranda had no stomach for bar food. “By way of Lucius Malfoy.”

“Really?” His curiosity was obviously piqued.

“Ironic, don’t you think? He hired me to hunt down Sirius Black, and Albus hired me to pretend to hunt down Sirius Black to keep Malfoy busy. Then just to make things more entertaining, Albus sent me to Romania to help Charlie Weasley with a project. Now that’s over, and here I am with you.”

“I see. Albus does like to get his money’s worth out of people.” The bitter edge to this observation did not go unnoticed.

“Do I remember correctly that you and Mr Black were friends?”

“You do.” If possible Remus’s already woeful countenance became even more melancholy. “We were mates from our school days.”

“I’m sorry for your loss. I never got to meet him, but I think I would have liked him, if I’d gotten the chance.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked dubiously.

Something about his gaze made her vaguely uncomfortable—as though he could see through her in a way most people couldn’t.

“I spent a fair amount of time interviewing people who knew him while I was on the case. I got the impression that he was a passionate man, fiercely loyal to his friends, brave to the point of recklessness, and possessed of a wicked sense of humor. Sounds to me like the sort of fellow I’d love to have known.”

Remus took a long drink and then stared into the depths of his pint. When he finally looked back up at her, she knew he was setting her yet another test.

“Tell me Miss Rose, is Severus Snape one of those many people you interviewed about Sirius?”

Through long practice she managed not to visibly react to Severus’s name being spoken, but her toe inside her boot started tapping again.

“No,” she replied. “I never met Professor Snape before that Order meeting when I met you.”

Remus gave her a cold, wolfish smile, that did not suit his features in the least. “This is a terrible start. I’m going to ask Albus to reassign you.”

Her heart started to pound uncomfortably, but her voice was even and curious. “Why? What did I do wrong?”

“We’ve barely met and you’re already lying to me. Doesn’t bode well for future work together.”

“What are you talking about?”

He leaned across the table and dropped his voice to a low growl. “Miss Rose, I don’t believe for an instant that you met Severus for the first time at that meeting. His smell was all over you, even after he left. What did you do, spend all day in bed with him?”

It was a stupid mistake—forgetting that some loup garous had a preternatural sense of smell even in human form—and she blushed for shame of having been caught making it. She covered her embarrassment by finishing her whiskey, then returned his gaze boldly.

“And if I did?” she challenged.

Remus snorted. “I don’t care who you sleep with. But if we’re going to work together the way Albus expects us to, we can’t lie to each other. With what we’re going to be walking into, we have to trust each other completely. Unfortunately, there’s no time to build that trust.” He slugged down the rest of his pint and stood up from the table. “I’m sorry to waste your time, but it’s better for you to be off this assignment anyway. Safer, you understand. It was good to meet you.”

“Mr Lupin, wait,” she said, taking the risk of laying a hand on his wrist before he walked away completely. He glared down at the trespass, and she strongly suspected he was fighting the urge to snarl at her. “Please, just sit down, have another drink, and let’s talk about this.”

She held his gaze fearlessly, surprised he didn’t shake her hand off. After a moment he signaled to Aberforth, and resumed his seat at the table. She waited until the barkeep had set them up with another round and a fresh bowl of popcorn, furiously working out what exactly she was going to say. In the end she fell back on her usual tactic; improvisation.

“Listen, I’m going to lay it all out for you, and then you can decide what you want to do,” she began, ignoring his scoff. “I met Severus the summer before last while I was hunting a vampire. We’ve been on and off since then; mostly on. I know about both of his…bosses. Albus knows about me, but the other one doesn’t, and we’re trying to keep it that way for everyone’s safety. I think you can imagine what the Dark Lord would do if he got wind of the fact that his minion is fucking a No-Maj born like me.”

“I didn’t know you were Muggle-born.”

She bristled. “Does that matter to you?”

“No, not at all.” Remus’s suspicious expression became very thoughtful. “I think I’m just surprised that it doesn’t matter to Severus.”

“I haven’t grilled him on it,” she shrugged.

“Maybe you should.”

This was not a conversation she wanted to pursue. “I don’t remember asking you for relationship advice.”

“You’re right, you didn’t.” His lips turned up in a humorless smile. “You’re wise to keep things quiet. Does anyone else in the Order know about you?”

“Arthur and Molly Weasley. But as far as I know they’ve kept mum, so I hope you won’t go clucking with them about it.”

“I won’t. What do you see in him?”

That was more than enough. “I don’t see the need to justify my love life to you, Mr Lupin. Or maybe you’d like me to start asking you questions about Auror Tonks.”

“No, I’d rather you didn’t,” he said coldly.

It seemed to her that they’d scuffled enough for one evening. “Maybe we should go back to safer topics,” she suggested as a peace offering. “Like loup garous or blood politics.”

He studied her for a long time, and then his face relaxed into a real smile. “Yes, let’s. Tell me more about the werewolves in America.”

*****

As the clock ticked perilously close to midnight, Severus sat in his armchair, reading Oscar Wilde and doing his best not to be annoyed with Miranda’s tardiness. He’d long since accepted her chronic lateness, and he knew she’d had a hefty list of commitments ahead of their engagement. Still, it was his birthday and it would be nice to see her at some point before the ninth of January turned into the tenth.

At five minutes to the new day, the door to his sitting room creaked open and he put aside his novel, greeting her tired smile with what he hoped was a reserved, but pleasant expression of his own. She hung her bag on a hook by the door that he’d installed for the purpose and stretched like a languid cat. He admired her form, unreasonably pleased that she was finally here.

“I’m glad that’s all over,” she said.

“Did your first Animagus lesson go so poorly?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Professor McGonagall said I did well, but my joints all say differently. She’s as hard a teacher as you are.”

“Harder, I think.”

She came to him and slipped onto his lap. His arms went around her waist, and as she laid her head on his shoulder he felt unnervingly content.

“Then Remus Lupin decided to give me the third degree. That’s what took me so long. He wanted to cut me out of the whole mission,” she explained.

Merlin, he didn’t want to think about the details of this pernicious mission. “Perhaps you should have let him.”

“I know you don’t like that I’m assigned to it, but it’s part of my job. And anyway, I talked him into keeping me.”

“I’m not surprised. You can be quite…persuasive when you care to be.”

She gave him an impish smile. “Speaking of persuasive, what would it take to convince you to give me a massage? I had no idea that Animagus training was going to make my body feel like a pretzel.”

“I give you a massage?” he teased. “I was under the impression that it was my birthday.”

“And so it is. I’ll give you your presents first if that’s what it takes.”

He kissed her temple and shook his head. “No. You’ve coerced me. To the bedroom with you.”

“I knew there was a reason I spent time with you.”

She stripped down to her knickers on the way to the bedroom. He hung his frock coat in the armoire, and rolled up his sleeves as she picked over his store of healing balms for a satisfactory concoction; more comfortable in her own skin than anyone he’d ever met. She tossed him her selection and stretched out on the bed with a happy sigh, and as he knelt over her his heart ached with an emotion it was ill-equipped to process. He buried this hurt with the feel of her flesh under his fingers, and the sound of her appreciative moans as he kneaded her pains away.

“Mmm…” she hummed. “You do love me.”

Her shoulders tensed instantly under his frozen hands, and he inwardly cursed her impulsive tongue for uttering such nonsensical truth.

“I mean metaphorically speaking,” she added quickly.

“Of course,” he replied, his hands mechanically returning to their work. “You’ve quite an inflated sense of your own importance, haven’t you?”

“That’s me,” she said, her voice nowhere near as relaxed as it had been moments before. “My head’s so big it’s in danger of floating away.”

For a brief moment he had the insane urge to confess the sin she’d lightheartedly accused him of; morbidly curious to witness the destruction it would likely cause. As she settled back into limpid tranquility under his touch, he frantically searched his mind for some other topic of conversation to distract him from wantonly lighting the inferno that would no doubt spell the end of their association.

“I…had thought we might attend the opera on Saturday,” he said. It was a mostly idle promise—he hadn’t even spoken to Charity to arrange the purchase of tickets—but he hoped mentioning it would both please Miranda and close the door on the previous topic.

“Oh, Severus, I’m so sorry, but I can’t,” she replied.

His temper was rubbed raw from the last ten minutes, and her contrition was salt in the wound.

“May I ask why?” he asked in an subtly acrid tone.

“I’m actually already going to the opera on Saturday.”

“I see. With whom?”

“Dante Sanguini. He set it up weeks ago. Didn’t I tell you about it earlier?”

“Not that I recall. I don’t suppose it matters to you if I mind that you are cavorting with a vampire.”

“My time is my time, and I’ll spend it with whomever I like.”

“Need I remind you that you have yet to regain your full strength either magically or physically?”

“No. I’m very aware of my limits.”

He seethed silently as his fingers worked on her muscles. How dare she be so reckless with her person and then claim he had no right to be concerned?

“Severus,” she said after a few moments of deadly silence had ticked by, “you’re hurting me.”

“My apologies,” he muttered, lightening his touch.

“Just stop. That’s enough anyway.” She extricated herself from her position beneath him and rolled up to sit against the headboard, her knees tucked to her chest as she studied him with new eyes. “I don’t need you telling me what to do. Do I complain when you go off to have tea with the Dark Lord?”

“That is different,” he growled.

“It’s not.”

He felt his face turn to stone and he got up off the bed, crossing his arms over his chest like a shield charm.

“I do not ever needlessly put myself in harm’s way. You make a sport of it,” he accused.

“Well why do you at all? Put yourself in harm’s way I mean. You’re not a hero, so why do you do it?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You hate teaching—and I’m not all that convinced you like Albus Dumbledore. You’re not a coward, but I don’t think you’re the sort of man to be swayed by “The Cause.” So why are you doing all this?”

“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you and your dalliance with a creature that can snap your neck and drink your blood before you could raise a finger to stop him.”

She swung off the bed to face him, her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing. “You sound jealous.”

“I do not.”

“First Lupin and now Sanguini?”

“That is the most ridiculous accusation…”

The rest of his defense dwindled into hiss of pain as the mark on his arm flared to life, twisting with an ugly black fire. His suddenly numb fingers fumbled to roll down the sleeves and fasten the buttons as he watched the anger on Miranda’s face give way first to fear, and then to acceptance. She opened her mouth to say something, but apparently thought better of it, and went out into the sitting room to collect his cloak for him. It took an age for him to don his frock coat and retrieve his mask from the armoire as he fought to bring his roiling emotions under some semblance of control.

His feet were like lead as he dragged himself to the door, and Miranda’s brave smile did little to cheer him. When he had his cloak in place, she impulsively threw her arms around his neck and kissed his mouth. He groaned pitifully as he pulled her against him; their embrace a fury of tongues and teeth as fierce as their argument had been.

“I can be here when you get back,” she said in a husky voice when they parted. “Or I can go if you think you’d rather be alone.”

“No. I want you to stay,” he replied, his own voice raw from choking back all the things he dared not say.

“Then I will.”

He traced a finger over her cheek and accepted the kiss that she pressed to his hand—a kiss that troubled him to the core of his battered heart. The mark on his arm continued to throb painfully as he paced outside the wards, breathing in the bitter night air and waiting for his mind to reach a place of indifference that Occlumency required. It seemed to him that the longer this misadventure continued, the more difficult coming to that place became. His life had never been under his own dominion; but now it often felt to him that Lily, the Dark Lord, Albus, and Miranda were horses intent on drawing and quartering him alive.

*****

The plush delights of the private box on the Grand Tier of the Royal Opera House, and the glorious music of Rigoletto did not quite assuage all of Miranda’s guilt that her companion for the evening was a sentimental vampire rather than a dour potions master. She was mildly annoyed at her conscience for smiting her and sullying what ought to have been an evening for decadence, and she was indulging in far more of Dante’s excellent cabernet in an effort to compensate. As the lights went up for the beginning of the interval, she knew she was well on the way to a headache in the morning, but she stubbornly stuck to her self-destructive course. Severus had no right to boss her around, and she was going to prove it by means of what was likely to be a wicked hangover.

“Tell me more about Giuseppe,” she said. There was nothing like hearing Verdi with a man who’d known him.

“There are those who would call him cold, but I liked him very well,” Dante replied. “Although he was at times a difficult partner at the card table. When the music would invade his brain, he would set everything aside until he’d jotted it down. I was there the night he sketched out that magnificent quartet.”

“That must have been thrilling.”

“It was. It’s a shame he would not let me bring him over.”

“Did you try?”

“Of course! A genius like that, to molder in a tomb. It’s a crime.”

He offered her a refill from the bottle of cabernet, which she accepted (although she probably shouldn’t have). His own glass he topped off with his preferred blend of merlot and type AB positive.

“What did he say when you offered?” she asked, enjoying the buzz from the wine and the music.

“He said that only a fool wished to live forever in a body of dust and grime.”

His smile was sharp on his pale lips, and whether he was mocking the dead composer or himself, she wasn’t sure.

“I’ve never thought you were a fool, Dante.”

“I thank you for the compliment, and I hope that you will not behave so stupidly when I come for you.”

She shivered. “I didn’t know you were planning to.”

“I was. As long as you do not manage to destroy yourself so extensively that my kiss would be useless.”

She was flattered and horrified in almost equal measure. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. But I want you to know that I’ll probably give you the same answer that Giuseppe did.”

“How disappointing. Why would you do such a thing?”

“I have my reasons.” She swirled the crimson liquid in her goblet, and the movement (or perhaps the conversation) made her head swim. “Do you mind if we change the subject? I hate talking about death at the opera.”

“And I adore it. But you are my guest, and I will indulge you. Tell me about your current projects. Hunting any other cousins of mine?”

“No, not lately. I’ve moved on to werewolves and Death Eaters.”

He raised his mocking eyebrows at her. “I never thought you one to play the hero.”

“I’m not, it’s all about the money.”

“I’ve always appreciated that ruthless streak in you.” He took her hand in his, laughing as the chill of his touch raised gooseflesh on her arms. “Do watch that charming backside of yours.”

“I will. But if you happen across any information that would help me watch it better, I hope you’ll share it.”

“And what will you pay me in? Smiles?”

“If you’ll take them, they’re yours.”

He brought her hand up and rested her palm against his cheek, sighing melodramatically.

“There is nothing quite like a warm hand when you are dead.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Is there something you’re getting at, or is all this a tease?”

He leaned down until his icy breath brushed her ear. “I have it on the best authority that a certain dark wizard is building an army of inferi.”

The chill that went through her had nothing to do with Dante’s breath. “How uninspired. Didn’t he do that last time?”

“His creativity is indeed lacking these days, but this new army will put the last one to shame.”

“Have you seen it?”

“I have.”

“Where is it?”

“It is moved by now.”

“By which you mean you aren’t going to tell me.”

“Topolina, I have told you enough already.”

He dipped his head and ran the edge of a sharp canine over the sensitive skin of her earlobe, and she put a finger on his cheek in warning.

“Thanks Dante, I do appreciate it. But I’m not going to fuck you tonight, even if you do cast a tutela charm to keep yourself from killing me.”

“Tease,” he grumbled. “Why not?”

“I’m just not interested.”

His dark gaze was as penetrating as Remus Lupin’s—and she was just about sick of being studied like a side of beef.

“You have a lover,” he accused. “That accounts for the extra perfume. You didn’t want me to know. Why not? Are you ashamed of him?”

“No. I just didn’t want to talk about him.” God she was sick of everyone being in her business. It was almost enough to take up the mantle of celibacy for the rest of her live-long days.

Dante, bless him, seemed to catch on to her exasperation. “Then I shan’t ask you anymore about him.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. Really.” The lights began to dim around them, and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Dante, if I find myself needing a hand in the near future, will you help me? I’ll make it worth your while.”

He gave her a devilish smile. “Will you? Aren’t you afraid of what I might ask in return?”

She wasn’t fooled. “No. You’re a gentleman.”

“You wound me! But I could deny you nothing. Ask, and I will be there.”

“I knew I could count on you.”

“Shh,” he grumbled as the curtain rose. “The opera!”

*****

Notes: The chapter title (yes, i am a monster) is a quote from Verdi’s opera Rigoletto. In the opera, the Duke sings this line in jest—but he pretty much is a monster.

The incantation to become an Animagus is taken from Pottermore. The textbook, the incantation to turn back (and the attending Latin mistakes) are mine. The process by which one becomes an Animagus is also from my imagination.

libera nos a malo masterpost+

unstoppable force/immovable object masterpost+

<< chapter five+

chapter seven+ >>

[pennyfynotes]

8.2.18 // 4:30pm // school subjects and AP exams oh my

so i recently (ok not so recently i’m sorry super busy rn) got an ask from an anon about subject specific tips and ap exams. this is the masterpost i told you to look out for ;). there are no ap exams in college, but some of the stuff is still applicable. i did my best to be as comprehensive as possible and dump everything in one place. hope this is helpful! xoxo, m ps. guess where the actual tips are?    if you said “under the cut” then you’re right bc i’m predicable af

tips by subject:

languages (i took spanish): 1. flashcards are your friend. i don’t care if they’re digital (would recommend quizlet or studyblue) or paper, but they help immensely with either vocab or things like remembering literature.

2. charts are also your friend. conjugations giving you a hard time? write out a chart of the different tenses and the conjugations for each subject. put down some of the irregulars too.

3. acronyms/pnemonics are also also your friend. a lot of these already exist, you just have to go find them. i’m pretty sure i still remember what “wedding” stands for for the spanish subjunctive.

4. it’s ok to start over. it’s easy to start a sentence based on what you’d say in english. you’re doing fine until *bam* you hit that word/phrase you really need but you have no clue how to say it. whether it’s an oral or written exam, take a few seconds to think about it and, if you can’t figure it out, just back track. restart the sentence and rework it. better to do that than to lose all your time thinking of one word you may or may not know.

5. skirt around things. if you can’t remember how to say fridge but you really need to say it for something, just say “machine that keeps food cold” or something. it might sound silly,  but it gets the point across and removes the road block.

6. make a list. no, not a to do list. if there’s phrases you find yourself reaching for all the time, but you can never remember, make a list of them and their translations. it might be because its a phrase/part of a sentence structure you use a lot in your native language or whatever. make that list and drill just those few phrases into your head. it’s helpful

english/language arts: 1. proofread. i guarantee you’ll find a mistake, a sentence that makes no sense, or one that just sounds cringy. thank me later.

2. have a damn thesis. its ok if you just need to write and spit words/ideas out for a while to figure it out. but figure it out.

3. conclusion ~= introduction. for those of you who didn’t get the tilde, it means not. yes, they both tie your points to your thesis but they are not to same. do not just reword the same information in the conclusion. push your ideas just a little further. i usually like the push them a little bit outside the realm of what i talked about in my paper. for example, if i focused on the first 5 chapters of the book in the rest of my paper, i’ll expand the ideas to the rest of the book. or if i’m talking about female characters and focus on just one or two, i’ll use the conclusion to potentially connect it to another.

4. have favorites. pick a few fav transitions, sentence structures, and fancy vocab words. basically build a toolbox. this way you won’t have to think as hard when you want to “spice up” your work.

5. summaries only go so far. once you get to higher level english classes, there will be a lot of analysis of specific imagery, or wording, or dialogue. reading cliff notes is only going to give you the plot and none of this. if you don’t have time to read and you’ve been assigned a pretty standard english novel/play/whatever, take the time to look up some famous quotes or symbols. they’ll probably come up in discussion and this will help you look less unprepared.

6. have on question/comment ready. if your teacher/prof is into discussions and grades on participation, it’s handy to write down one (or a few) things. it’s easy to forget what you were going to say while you follow the discussion and it sucks to get docked points for not saying anything. even if it’s just a thoughtful question, jot it down.

history: 1. lol prob my weakest subject, just go see the apush (ap us history) section bc i don’t have much more for you than that.

science: 1. back to basics. i say it all the time, i’ll say it again. really understand basic concepts. they will come back. i’m serious.

2. pattern recognition. science problems are often times about recognizing patterns. once you identify the type of problem it is, even if you’ve never seen the exact one/something similar before, solving it becomes way easier.

3. make a recipe book. tied to the last one, but once you recognize a type of problem, you need steps to solve it. go through any practice problems you’re given to determine all the “types” of problems. once you’ve categorized them, make yourself a step-by-step guide on how to solve.

4. flashcards. you’ll have to know polyatomic ions or random biology facts. see languages tip #1 for more.

5. note your errors in lab. if you do something wrong, don’t just try to brush it under the table and forget about it. not that it’s a big deal, because its not, so don’t freak out. they’re just great opportunities to note sources of error. i mean obviously dont write in your lab report that you weren’t paying attention and mixed the wrong chemicals, but something like “we may not have waited sufficient time for the product to dry” can explain why you got 800% yield.

6. have a toolkit. kinda like a recipe book, but just a collection of straight facts that come up often. knowing common molecular weights and chemical properties (is ammonia acidic or basic?) will make things go faster. like i said earlier, polyatomic ions are also great.

7. brush up on some simple arithmetic. similar to the tool kit, this will just make things go faster. being able to quickly add things and calculate easy percentages (ex: 30%) will make things like hw and exams go faster. i’m of the opinion it’s always good to know how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide w/o a calculator (on paper, not all in your head)

bonus: math #5 and #7

math: 1. see science #1

2. see science #2

3. see science #3

4. see science #4. see a pattern here? you might wonder why you need to flashcard math, but it’s good for learning equations or the names of certain techniques. if the prof asks you to solve something using X technique and you don’t know what that is, that’s gonna pose a problem. also good for the unit circle (don’t get me started)

5. figure out your speed. this is applicable to most everything, but i find it most relevant for math. is it better for you to speed through the whole exam and then do it all again/check it over 2x? or for you to take it slow so you know you got everything right the first time? personally i use the first approach, but i’m a fast taker and prefer to have time to process between repeating problems instead of staring at it forever once and never looking again.

6. science #7. a lot of teachers will expect you to be able to do this.

7. go over the material a couple times. also applicable to everything. i find it’s easier to remember things when i know that concepts are connected. you might have learned X 3 weeks before Y, but if you go back over, you might realize they’re closely related. this will help you if you’re not sure on a test because you can reason through things using the connections you’ve drawn

tips by ap course (obv look at the subject above bc i will be giving *really specific stuff* here that i’ve gathered from experience. they’re also ordered by when i took them, sorry it’s not super logical but i didn’t want to forget one)

general ap course/exam tips: 1. practice exams. you need to be familiar with what will/will not show up. you don’t always need to simulate and real testing situation, but i’d recommend doing at least 1-2 that way. also *know how many questions they’re are you so can pace yourself!!!!*

2. college board is pretty good about giving topic breakdowns. use those. go through and figure out what topics you’re solid on and which need more work. the above tip is to help decipher what the topics actually mean bc it can be confusing.

3. give the free response a quick flip through. do the ones you’re confident on first.

4. make sure you know the policies/what you can bring. don’t want to forget something. also once our test administrator tried to stop us 10 minutes early, but we were on top of our shit and all gave her a death glare bc we knew when we were supposed to finish.

ap chemistry: 1. polyatomic ions and molecular weights. know them

2. chapter/section reviews (in addition to class notes) and how-to guides. my teacher made us make them and let’s just say your girl did *really* well (and i’m damn proud of that one)

3. do a quick skim of the free response. applicable to most exams but, the year i took it, they’d just remade and re-curved the exam and put *way* too many free response. like no one finished them. if that’s still the case, make sure you do the one’s you’re confident on. also, i did not get to like 3 questions and still got a 5. they may have fixed this idk. (sorry this is redundant but i wanted to give this ap chem exam specific info)

ap environmental science: 1. there is a lot of damn information here. i would use chapter outlines and pick out key terms, policies, and events etc. treat this like a history class.

2. for the exam, use common sense. most of the time, the most environmentally friendly answer is the right one. if you just have a general gist of the course and its topics, but don’t know a lot of details, go with your intuition and you should be fine. i didn’t have a lot of time to study for this one and this method worked for me.

ap calc bc: 1. memorize standard derivatives. power rule, sin and cos, chain rule. that’s important.

2. similarly, memorize standard integrals.

3. don’t forget +c for indefinite integrals. just don’t.

4. similarly, if it’s definite, don’t forget to evaluate at the end! super easy thing to do, but also super easy way to lose points if you forget.

5. if the integral looks complicated, that probably means there’s a “trick” involved. u substitution, integration by parts, trig substitution. something like that.

6. memorize some standard series’, operations, and types (arithmetic, geometric etc)

7. if you’re looking at a word problem, understand what is dependent on your variable and what isn’t (in other words, what’s a constant). for example, if it says the water flows into the barrel at 50 mL/s and flows out at 1/5 times the volume, that translate to F = 50 - (1/5)V. don’t make things more complicated by trying to write everything in terms of V (in this example). also, your equation might just be a constant term or just a variable term doesn’t have to be both.

8. know what your derivative is with respect to/what it really means. aka if your problem is talking about flow and volume, how are they related to each other? flow is the change in volume *with respect to time*. so if i differentiate volume with respect to time, i get flow. if i integrate flow with respect to time, i get volume. this also helps you make sense of word problems.

*disclaimer*: it is been 5 years since i took this class and i have taken quite a few math classes after. i apologize if i introduce anything that is a little irrelevant.

ap spanish language: 1. flashcard. like seriously. there’s gonna be vocab involved.

2. understand what’s asked. for the persuasive email. *be persuasive*

3. toolkit. i mentioned this before but this was probably the most useful for this class. our teacher gave us a bunch of fancier words to use instead of causar (to cause) because that was a word we’d need a lot. the one that still sticks with me 4 years later is fomentar. have a few alternatives for these kinds of super common words, a good greeting and closing for your email, and a set of good transitions. *make sure you know how to use them properly*

4. write stuff down during listening. you can either answer questions during the first listen, then take notes the second to catch stuff you missed or vice versa.

5. it’s ok to backtrack in the speaking. don’t let yourself get stuck and just not say anything. it’ll freak you out for the rest of the exam and will rob you from showing off what you know. also take notes of things you want to mention based off cultural knowledge of the situation related to the dialogue.

6. don’t zone out. with everything going on and all the stress, it’s easy to zone out (esp during the conversation). don’t do it or you’ll have a hard time responding and freak yourself out (again)

7. don’t lose your place in the convo! they give you a sheet that shows you how many times the other “person” will talk. i lost track and said goodbye one segment early. it was bad ok. all these conversation tips are from personal experience.

ap statistics: 1. know the different kinds of tests inside and out. know the differences and the conditions. if you’ve got that, you’re like 75% the way there.

2. be familiar with sample vs population. it’s a bit confusing, but take the time to understand.

3. ok sorry i really don’t remember anything else. this exam really isn’t that difficult (in my opinion), you’ll be ok.

ap physics c: 1. free body diagrams. understand how to draw them *and draw them*. they will carry you through mechanics. draw gravitational force, normal if there’s a surface, and then any other given forces.

2. basic equations. you get an equation sheet, but knowing the equations means you know the concepts and the relations between them. big ones are f=ma and the equations relating position (x), velocity (v), and acceleration (a). also friction f=uN.

3. *normal isn’t always the opposite direction of gravity!!!!* gravity is straight down. normal is perpendicular to the surface.

4. vector components. please don’t just add vectors. break them down into components and then add or you are so fucked.

5. get familiar with triangles. this will help with the whole component thing.

6. kirchoffs rules are so helpful. know them.

7. understand the relations between voltage/potential and current in terms of the properties of circuit elements. that means the equations for resistors, capacitors, and inductors.

8. know how to add in parallel and series. it’s important. also! if the circuit is drawn “weird” a good way to know series vs parallel is that parallel elements share two nodes and that series circuits only share 1.

9. sorry i kinda blocked out E+M bc i didn’t know what i was doing (or so i thought). i still got a 4 tho so that curve is generous.

ap us history: 1. chapter outlines. pretty self explanatory.

2. make a timeline. put important events, sentiments, policies, and presidents. if you can associate these things together into time periods it will be easier. most of the time, any one question (esp long response or whatever they’re called) will only focus on 1 time period.

3. sentiments are important. if you know nothing else, know these bc they will help guide you through questions by reasoning even if you know nothing else.

4. gilder lehrman (or similar us history summaries). these are tailor specifically to apush bc they are organized by period (i think that’s what they were called?). i actually fell asleep listening to these bc i didn’t have time to study. they were mildly helpful, but every little bit helps right?

ap psychology: 1. chapter outlines/flashcards. this course is based heavily on key terms and less so on larger concepts.

2. ok sorry i took this online i remember literally nothing except how annoying my teacher was and that the exam was easy. if you know terminology i think you should do fine.

ap biology: 1. there is a lot. go through all the topics and make sure you’re solid. start with the big picture, then think about narrowing down.

2. know how charts work. things like pedigrees, punnet squares, and evolution trees (that’s def not the right term). some of the exam will just be interpretation of this.

3. i am so sorry i remember nothing else.

ap spanish literature: 1. flashcards. title, author, time period, short summary, key elements (a line, character, symbol). this is *so helpful*

2. think about the works in relation to each other. you might be asked to compare them. even if they ask you to compare something on the reading list with something new, you’ll be familiar with the points you might talk about.

3. know the lit terms. more flashcards. associate them with a particular work if you can/need to.

4. don’t freak on the listening. a lot of the recordings are old and shitty quality. take a deep breath and try your best. know that the rest of the test takers (excepting maybe natives) are experiencing the same thing.

5. use that tool box. see general spanish and ap spanish lang.

this is so freaking long and i think the moral of the story is that i blocked out my senior year ap exams. i hope this was helpful and, if you have more questions, or want more stuff like this, let me know!

[knox-knocks]

Restart ~ Chapter 14

read on ao3

There was a knock at the door. Frustrated, Neil twisted the pencil in his hands and tried to coax back the focus on his math homework he’d just lost. He was only starting to get into it; finally, the problems were beginning to make sense. They were a puzzle that gave him a thrill of satisfaction every time he found a new piece that fit. Usually Neil was good at math – quick, efficient, but he’d been struggling with this assignment all week.

The knock sounded again, an insistent rapping that chased away what was left of Neil’s concentration. Neil threw down his pencil and watched it bounce off his textbook and roll to the floor. When it landed somewhere near his shoes, he glared at the door and wished whoever was on the other side a slow death.

No one else was here to open the door, so that left the job to Neil. Kevin was at the store for groceries, not trusting his roommates to get food that was ‘actually edible and not something that’ll clog our arteries,’ as Kevin put it. Andrew wouldn’t get the door either, even if he wasn’t taking a nap in the other room.

Just when Neil thought that the person had given up and walked away, the third knock sounded. Sighing, Neil pushed himself up and went to go get it. It was probably Kevin, he’d already forgotten his key twice this month, Neil didn’t put it past him to do it again. He debated leaving him out there, punishment for making Neil lose the motivation to do his homework that he’d been scrounging up to all week.

When Neil unlocked the doorknob, whoever was waiting outside pushed their way in before Neil could even open it himself. Neil braced himself, his mind reeling with thoughts of his father’s men kicking in doors and Ichirou sneaking into houses while the inhabitants slept.

But it wasn’t the mafia knocking on Neil’s door. It was Dan, looking as she always did with her messy curls and determination in her eyes.

“Dan?” Neil asked, bemused. “Is everything alright?”

“We’re going out to lunch,” she replied. When Neil just stared at her she blew her curls out of her face and smiled that familiar grin of hers. It was a little early for lunch, but Neil decided to stop the complaint at the tip of his tongue when his stomach growled a reminder that he skipped breakfast that morning. Dan gave him a knowing look and shooed him away to get ready.

Bewildered, Neil made his way to the bedroom and snuck in, careful not to wake Andrew who was still nestled in a bundle of pillows and blankets on his bed. The only indication that anyone was under the pile at all was the tufts of blonde hair poking out near the pillows and the quiet snores that told Neil that Andrew was having a good nap. Neil paused in pulling a clean shirt and jeans out of his drawer when he realized Andrew had hisblanket as well. Neil huffed. He’d have to steal it back when he and Dan were done with lunch.

Neil shucked off his t-shirt and threw it in the direction of his other dirty clothes. When he turned around, he found Andrew blinking sleepily in the dim light.

“You’re loud,” Andrew mumbled, his voice scratchy from sleep. Something warm bloomed in Neil’s chest. He considered the strange sensation before he grimaced in apology.

“Sorry,” he whispered back, trading his sweatpants for the jeans. “I’m going to lunch with Dan so I’ll be back in a few.”

Andrew squinted up at Neil in consideration before his eyes drifted down to Neil’s bare chest. Neil stilled as he looked for a minute before nodding in sleepy appreciation and curling up further under the stolen blankets. He was asleep by the time Neil was finished dressing.

Neil left the bedroom to find Dan waiting for him to be done. “Come on, slow-poke. I want to be back before afternoon practice,” she said, already on her way out the door.

There was a slight bounce to Dan’s step as she led them out of Fox Tower. She’d been elated since the Foxes won the last two game of the death match, knocking out Belmonte and UT. The Foxes had run themselves ragged against the Longhorns last Saturday, but it was worth it when they came out on top with a score of 5-9.

If Neil was being honest with himself, he didn’t think he could feel excited about their success until they played their game against Penn State. Two more death match games, and then the last two games of semi-finals. Depending on how many points the Foxes racked up in those games – if they even make it through the death matches – they would be moving on to finals or they would drop out in round three.

Luckily for the Foxes, Edgar Allen and USC were both in the odds bracket for the death match. They’ll face each other next week and only one of them would be moving on to Finals, meaning the Foxes would only have to play two of the big three for the chance to take the Championships again.

The Foxes have to win four more games and Neil and Kevin have to overperform in order for Ichirou to consider sparing their lives. So far, so good. But Neil could never be too careful.

“Earth-to-Neil.” Dan snapped her fingers in Neil’s face, breaking him from his thoughts of winning and losing and life and death. “There’s this café across campus that I want to go to. I was going to go with Matt but he had to make up a test. You down?”

“Sure,” Neil said. He knew the café Dan was talking about. It was more of a retro diner like the ones Neil and his mother had slipped into during their years on the run. Even when they were nearly empty in the middle of the night, the greasy diners provided acceptable cover for Neil and Mary to hide in. Plus, no one ever asked any questions in those kinds of places. But the Fox Café was considerably newer and cleaner than all those other diners. Neil remembered going with Andrew at the beginning of the school year one night, but he wasn’t going to tell Dan he’d already been before. “Am I your replacement date?” Neil asked instead.

Dan scoffed. “Please. You’re too short for me, totally not my type. And anyway, this is business. Cap to Vice-Cap-Soon-to-be-Cap.”

“Shouldn’t you wait to see if I’m still going to be around next year before we talk about me being captain?” Neil asked wryly before he could stop himself. Dan’s grin slid of her face. Neil was surprised at the stab of guilt he felt in his stomach.

Dan pressed her lips in a thin line and started on the five-minute walk to the café. She regrouped quickly though, and turned back to Neil. “We’ve been winning our games so far, and we’re going to keep winning. Binghamton was a fluke. After we have the championship trophy, Ichirou won’t have any reason to hurt you.”

Neil hummed, not able to bring himself to meet Dan’s eyes. If Neil failed, he wasn’t going to just hurt Neil. He wasn’t going to receive a simple slap on the wrist and a demand to do better next time. This was it for him.

“I’m serious. We’re going to win this, Neil. And you’re going to be captain next year and win it all over again.”

“What if Ichirou decides he’s done with me anyway? Even if we win, there’s no guarantee he’ll keep me as an investment. I might be more trouble than I’m worth,” Neil said, finally voicing the thought that had been eating at him for weeks.

Dan stopped walking. When Neil realized she wasn’t by his side anymore, he turned around to find his captain with a furiously resolute look on her face. Nothing in the world could make Dan budge when she wore that expression. “It doesn’t matter, we’re not giving you up so easily. Ichirou can go fuck himself for all I care. We’re Foxes, and if he wants one of us, he has to go through all of us because Foxes don’t go down without a fight,” she said with the unbreakable confidence she would have needed to lead the Foxes all these years.

In that moment, Neil couldn’t help but admire Dan Wilds. She stood tall no matter the insults flung at her, from opponents and teammates alike. Not once did she give up or stand down. She was the strength of the team, the fire, the force that drove the Foxes to triumph. Now Neil wasn’t thinking about if he’d be captain next year, but how.

“You do realize that we aren’t going to let the Moriyamas take you so easily, right? You’re family, Neil. No matter what,” Dan said, her voice several shades quieter but lacking none of the steel from before.

Neil had to swallow several times before he could speak. “I know,” he managed to say around the lump in his throat.

Dan nodded in satisfaction and tugged on Neil’s arm. Neil could see the diner up a head and luckily, it didn’t seem to be too busy considering it was a Tuesday and classes should be getting out. When they were seated, the waitress set out menus in front of them and then left with their drink orders.

“So…” Dan started. Neil looked up from the pasta section on the menu and found her studying him. “You’re going to be captain next year and – don’t give me that look, Neil Josten, we just went through this – how do you feel? Are you ready for it?”

Neil decided to let himself think of the future, if only to humor Dan. He pushed the imminent threat hanging over his head to the back of his mind and pretended that he was going to become captain of the Palmetto State Foxes no matter what. He took a deep breath and said, “Honestly? I don’t even know where to start. Even without the whole amnesia thing, I have no idea what I’m doing. Most of the freshmen don’t even like me.”

“They’ll listen to you,” Dan said as if it were a fact. “And if they don’t want to, then that’s their problem. You don’t realize it, Neil, but people look to you to know what to do. How much do you remember from last year?”

Neil tilted his head to the side and stopped himself from rubbing at the scar on his head. “Most of it, I think. Some memories are still blurry, but I don’t think there are any more gaps.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Dan smiled in genuine delight. “And that means you remember how the team rallied around you last year. We were so divided, before you came along. Even after everything that happened, the Foxes were the most united last year when you pulled us together.”

“I…” Neil trailed off. He’d never thought of it like that. When he told Dan as much, she kicked him in the shin under the table, not quite hard enough for it to hurt.

“You are going to be a great captain, Neil. And if you need help, you have my number. Use it.”

The waitress came back with their drinks before Neil could respond. Dan thanked her when she set their drinks down to take out a pad of paper and a pen and asked if they knew what they wanted to eat.

Neil sipped at his water and let himself tentatively hope.

~ ~ ~

Several weeks later, the rest of the team had already deserted the locker room by the time Neil was done stuffing all his gear in his duffel bag. Neil had expected to be alone but when he zipped up his bag and turned around, Andrew was leaning against the other lockers with his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was calm and his posture relaxed. He let Neil look his fill before he turned away in a silent request for Neil to follow.

They’d won the last of the death matches and wracked up seven points in the game against the Terrapins. Tomorrow, Palmetto will play Penn State. They needed eight more points in order to secure their spot in Championships. Neil had spent the past couple nights tossing and turning thinking about it. While most people thought of Edgar Allen or USC, Penn State was still one of the highest ranked teams in the nation. Championship title or no Championship title, the Foxes would have to work hard in the game tomorrow. That thought alone was enough to make Neil lose sleep.

When Andrew and Neil made their way to where the rest of the team was waiting by the bus, Andrew snagged Neil’s duffel and went to throw it in with the rest of the luggage under the bus. Neil inclined his head gratefully and went to save their usual seat.

Even though the game wasn’t until tomorrow, Wymack wanted the team to have plenty of rest before the game so they were driving to Pennsylvania early. A cheap motel was booked so they wouldn’t have to sleep on the bus, and while Neil and Andrew were rooming with Kevin and Nicky, Neil was grateful for the extra rest. He didn’t want to have to worry about playing one of the most important games of the season after spending all day riding in a cramped bus.

Neil passed the front rows on his way to the back. Kevin shot him a look when Neil went by, but Neil ignored him. Usually when the Foxes drove to a game, Neil would sit with the rest of the strikers and talk about different strategies, but today Neil just wanted to spend as much time with Andrew as possible.

Once the bus was all loaded up and the team was situated, Wymack started the bus and pulled out of the parking lot. Andrew stared quietly out the window for the first hour of the ride while Neil watched him. With all the craziness of practice and games and classes, Neil and Andrew were left with very little time for just the two of them. They’d stolen moments here and there, quick, frantic kisses in the locker room after everyone else had left and a couple of minutes on the roof at night sharing a cigarette before they succumbed to sleep, but Neil still found himself craving the simple comfort of just being in Andrew’s presence.

“Staring,” Andrew pointed out without turning away from the window. When Neil only hummed in agreement, Andrew sighed in faux-exasperation and reached for Neil. When Andrew directed Neil’s head to his shoulder, Neil started in surprise before he melted into his side.

The hours of sleep Neil lost to worrying about the upcoming game finally caught up to him and Neil fell asleep against Andrew’s shoulder. He was just barely holding onto consciousness when Andrew placed his hand in Neil’s hair and kept it there.

Neil didn’t wake up until they were at the motel, and even then, he didn’t wake up until Andrew shoved him off his shoulder. Neil opened his eyes and glared but Andrew shrugged unapologetically.

“I was tired of you drooling all over my shirt,” Andrew said in explanation. Neil huffed and got up.

There was still several hours of daylight left until it started getting dark, so after they were done lugging their bags to their room, Nicky suggested they invited the other Foxes over and order takeout.

“I saw a Chinese place on the way here and I’m craving chow mein,” he said, rolling his eyes at Kevin’s disgruntled look at the mention of unhealthy food. “Don’t worry, Kev. I’m sure they have something there for you, too.”

Andrew didn’t seem to care what they did, but Neil thought spending the rest of the day with his team was a good idea. Nicky told Dan and Dan announced it to the rest of the Foxes. Within ten minutes, everyone was crammed in one of the small motel rooms, sprawled across the bed and scattered across the floor. Robin and Nicky were even perched on the coffee table.

When the food got there and the chaos of passing the cartons of orange chicken and chow mein around and arguing over who got the last of it was done with, Neil tucked into his fried rice. Most of the team chatted about this and that, but Neil was content to just sit back and watch.

After an hour, Andrew left to go to their room. Neil watched him go but decided to leave him be. He didn’t expect Andrew to stay the whole night and he knew Andrew tired quickly of social interaction after a while, so Neil wasn’t concerned. Andrew being there even for a little bit was enough. Neil turned back to the argument Dan and Allison were having about different celebrities and chimed in occasionally, even though he didn’t really know who they were talking about.

A movie about a fish trying to find his son that Renee found playing on one of the staticky channels was playing on the old TV. When Nicky noticed Neil was watching, he launched into a discussion about Disney movies. Neil remembered seeing a couple of them during movie nights, but he just let Nicky talk. Eventually Matt mentioned something, and even Robin commented on one of the movies Nicky was chattering away about.

“Are you worried about the game?”

Neil turned to the quiet voice behind him to find Kevin leaning against one of the beds, his legs pulled up to his chest. A plate scraped clean of whatever he’d been eating balanced on his knees. Kevin looked tired, but he also looked determined. The panic that Neil had glimpsed so many times before, the same panic Neil had felt, was nowhere to be seen.

“Yes,” Neil said. He didn’t need to say anything else, Kevin wasn’t looking for an explanation. He was in the same boat Neil was in, for the most part. He understood. Kevin just nodded and moved his plate to the side so he could stretch his legs out in front of him.

“I think we can do this,” Kevin said quietly. Neil couldn’t tell if Kevin was scared that he’d jinx it if he said it any louder or if he just didn’t want the others to overhear. A loud eruption of laughter from Matt and Nicky told Neil that they weren’t listening in to their conversation, but he kept his voice low as well.

“Yeah,” he said. “Me too.”

~ ~ ~

When Neil glanced at the alarm clock the next morning, the face read just a little after seven in the morning. Beside Neil, Andrew was still sleeping.

Last night, Neil came back to the room to find Andrew watching a dumb show on TV while he waited up for Neil and the others to get back. He didn’t remember falling asleep, he must have drifted off sometime between changing into sweatpants and settling in beside Andrew. Even after his long nap on the bus, spending the evening with the Foxes wore Neil down again. He loved them, but sometimes their rowdiness was exhausting for someone like Neil, who preferred the quiet.

He should have gotten up earlier to go for a morning run, but Neil really didn’t feel like it today. He would be spending plenty of time running around when the Foxes practiced before they played against Penn State, and even more when they played them. Right now, he was more than content to stay in bed for a little bit longer and study Andrew’s face, lax with sleep, smushed into the pillows.

Neil shifted, feeling the fatigue in his muscles fade away with every passing second. He briefly tore his gaze away from Andrew to look behind him at Kevin and Nicky sprawled across the other bed, arms and legs thrown off the sides and over one another. Nicky had his foot wedged between Kevin’s spine and the mattress, something Kevin would be sure to complain about when he woke up with a sore back.

When Neil turned back to face him, Andrew was already watching him with clear eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, stretching seconds into minutes. Neil was tracing the hard edges of Andrew’s cheek bones and the lines of his lips with his eyes, wishing he was doing it with his lips, when Andrew turned Neil’s face away.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have a staring problem?” Andrew asked, his voice muffled from the sheets.

“I like looking at you,” Neil said unapologetically.

“Disgusting,” Andrew replied, but within seconds his hand found its place in the collar of Neil’s ratty t-shirt. He tugged on it. “You need to get rid of this.”

“Do you want me to do that right now or do you want to wait until Nicky and Kevin vacate the room?” Neil quipped.

“Smart mouth.” Andrew pulled the pillow over Neil’s face. “It’s too early for this.”

Neil took the moment to stretch out his legs before sitting up. The pillow Andrew used to half-heartedly smother Neil fell to his lap so Neil returned it to its spot on the bed. He stretched his back next, letting out a small grunt when it gave a few satisfying pops and cracks.

A hand on his hip made Neil pause. When he turned around, Andrew was squinting up at him. “We still have a couple more hours until we have to be up,” he said.

Neil took the offer for what it was and slid back under the sheets, closer to Andrew than before but still leaving several inches of space between them. Andrew’s hand trailed up Neil’s side, idly tracing patterns over his t-shirt. Neil couldn’t complain. It wasn’t often he and Andrew could have a lazy morning together.

Anxiety spread through Neil’s veins like a cold poison, sudden and unwelcome. His expression must have shuttered because Andrew withdrew his hand. “No, it’s okay,” Neil said.

When Andrew just stared at him, Neil swallowed the lump forming in his throat and explained, “I’m worried about the game tonight. I feel like my mind is spinning in constant circles, always going back to wondering what will happen if we don’t win.”

But Neil knew what would happen, and so did Andrew.

Andrew settled his hand on the nape of Neil’s neck. Neil leaned into the comforting and solid presence. “If something goes wrong, I am not going to let you go.”

“You can’t stop Ichirou from getting to me, Andrew,” Neil said. He glanced at Nicky when he let out a particularly loud snore, a reminder that he and Kevin were still in the room. When he looked back at Andrew, he saw the familiar stubborn jut of his jaw. “No matter what happens, you can’t follow me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I will not let you just die.”

Neil’s shoulders slumped forward as much as they could when he was laying on his side. “I don’t want you to die, too. And I’m not going to run again. I can’t. Not anymore.”

Andrew said nothing to that. He stared Neil down with an intensity Neil would never flinch from. The hand Andrew had clasped around Neil’s neck squeezed. “I’m not going to lose you again,” he said with steel finality after minutes had ticked by.

A shuffling from the other side of the room broke them from their staring contest. Neil turned his head to see Kevin and Nicky in the process of waking. The intensity of the moment was gone when Kevin nearly shoved Nicky off the side of the bed and stole the blanket. When Kevin was soundly snoring again, Nicky got out of bed, grumbling, and turned to see Andrew and Neil both staring him.

Nicky hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “He is horrible to share a bed with. I don’t know how he ever gets laid.”

Nicky wandered out of the room, mumbling under his breath. Neil thought he heard Kevin’s name and something about a bucket of cold water. The creak of the mattress when it was pressed down told Neil that Andrew was getting out of bed. When Neil looked back at him, Andrew motioned to the bathroom door and said he was going to take a shower.

The rest of the hours leading up to the game were a blur. The Foxes went to a nearby gym and Neil spent most of the time on the treadmill to make up for skipping his morning run. After that, they went to get lunch at some café that Kevin said was good.

Since they had a couple hours to themselves before they had to load up the bus and head to the stadium, most of the Foxes returned to the motel. Matt spotted a park nearby so he and Nicky took some of the freshmen. When they’d gone, Neil went over to the girls’ room when Allison texted him to come over.

Allison was closest to the door when Neil walked in. She sat cross-legged on the vanity counter in front of the mirror. She was dressed in pajama shorts and an old t-shirt that still looked better than any of the ragged shirts Neil owned that Nicky and Andrew hadn’t gotten rid of. She didn’t look up when Neil entered, she was too focused on braiding her long hair in two French braids, but she acknowledged him with a nod.

“Hey, Neil,” Dan greeted from her spot on one of the beds. “Is Andrew behind you?”

“No. He and Renee are hanging out, I think,” Neil replied, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Dan threw her legs over Neil’s lap and frowned. “Are they sparring? I don’t want either one of them hurt before the game.”

“Renee told me they’re just going for coffee.” Allison rolled her eyes, still facing the mirror. She grimaced and undid one of the braids and started over again. “She said something about not spending enough time with him or whatever.”

A knock sounded at the door and Kevin poked his head in. With one hand still gripping the loose braid in her hair, Allison chucked a nail polish at Kevin’s head. Kevin ducked and narrowly avoided getting hit in the forehead.

“What the fuck, Day!” Allison screeched. “What if one of us was getting dressed?”

“I knocked.” Kevin’s scowl deepened. “Is Neil in here?”

Dan waved her hand at Neil as if presenting him on a silver platter. “He’s right here, your royal highness.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Stop being immature.”

Both Dan and Allison laughed and Neil swore he saw Kevin’s frown flicker upwards just a tiny bit. Dan motioned for Kevin to come in and Kevin closed the door behind him.

By the time Allison started painting her nails a pale blue, Dan had pulled up a rerun of the USC vs. Edgar Allen death match game from a couple weeks ago. The Trojans had won that game, eliminating the Ravens in semifinals and making history. Neil had watched that game live with Kevin, and when the final buzzer sounded Neil witnessed Kevin smile sincerely for the first time in a long time. If the Foxes won their game tonight, they’d play the Trojans in the championship game.

“That’s going to get ruined in the game, you know,” Dan said, tearing her gaze away from the screen after Jean Moreau checked one of the Raven strikers so hard, he sent them skidding across the court floor. Jean wasn’t even carded for that move. For an ex-Raven, he was playing fairly clean. Being with the Trojans for a year obviously had a positive impact on him.

Allison shrugged, already painting the same color on her toes. “I can paint yours, if you want. Then we’ll have matching trashy nails.”

When the rest of the Foxes returned to the motel and Allison’s nails were done drying, the Foxes packed up their things while Wymack and Abby went down to the lobby to check them out.

By the time they were all on the bus and heading for the Penn State Exy stadium, Neil felt jittery and wired with anxiety. Not even Andrew’s shoulder pressed into his could leach away any of his nerves. He stared out the window, watching the trees silhouetted across the dark sky fly past as he picked a stray thread on his jacket. After about ten minutes, Andrew was apparently done with Neil’s restlessness and flattened his hand against Neil’s leg to stop it from bouncing.

“Sorry,” Neil mumbled. He forced his hands and feet to be still. Andrew kept his hand on Neil’s thigh, even after he stopped moving.

Five minutes later, the stadium came into view and ten minutes after that, the Foxes were in the locker room dressing out in their gear and jerseys. No one really had anything to say, not even Jack who surprisingly kept his mouth shut for the ride there.

Neil thought he could already hear the crowd screaming in the stands, but it was hard to tell over the blood pounding in his ears. When Wymack announced that there was forty-five minutes until first serve and ushered them out of the locker room and into the outer court, Neil thought his heart would leap right out of his chest.

The crowd roared when they caught sight of the Foxes. Interrupting the sea of navy blue of the Nittany Lions, entire sections of the bleachers were orange where Palmetto’s fans came to support their Foxes. The Vixens were already riling up the crowd by throwing each other in the air and shouting cheers while Palmetto’s mascot ran up and down the rows. The thousands of people in the stands clapping and stomping and screaming an arrhythmic beat disrupted the desperate pounding in Neil’s chest.

In front of him, Kevin froze and Neil had to skid to a halt to prevent running into him. He flipped around and although Neil was right behind him, Kevin’s eyes frantically searched the crowd before they found Neil.

“What is it?” Neil shouted over the crowd.

“He’s here,” Kevin said, his face pale. “Neil, Ichirou is here.”

Neil’s stomach bottomed out as the world skid to a halt. He pushed past Kevin to see into the writhing crowd, looking for one face in thousands of others. Neil’s eyes caught on the black in the swarm of orange and blue, a few rows from the front. Ichirou sat with two men on either side of him, his face calm and impassive as he surveyed the court with apparent disinterest.

Swallowing a couple times to get the metallic taste of fear out of his mouth, Neil reasoned, “He’s just watching us play. It makes sense that he’d be here tonight. We can’t let him distract us from our game.”

Kevin nodded but he still jumped when the referees’ whistles signaled for the Foxes to begin their warm-ups. Neil pushed thoughts of Ichirou and the threat he brought with him to the back of his mind and started the slow jog around the outer court, easily taking the lead of the group with Dan. After they lapped the court twice, Dan ordered them to start on simple drills.

When the teams retreated back to their respective sides in the outer court, Neil reached up and clapped Kevin on the shoulder. Kevin grasped Neil’s gloved hand and squeezed it briefly. No matter what happened, no matter how scared Neil was, they were in this together.

“Alright, Foxes,” Wymack started, flipping through the papers on his clipboard without reading anything on them. “This is the last game before Championships. In order to move on, we need to score at least eight points.

“Neil, you and Robin are going to be playing first quarter. Aaron, Matt, you two better make sure no strikers get past you to score or I’m signing both of you up for a marathon. Renee will be in goal for most of first half to save your asses, just in case. Allison is going to be in there with you so I expect a strong start.” Wymack clapped his hands as the Foxes scrambled to put on helmets and gloves.

“The Nittany Lions won’t make it easy for you. You are going to have to fight for this, and fight for it hard. I don’t want to hear any excuses, I just want to see you play your best. I believe in you, and you should believe in yourselves.” With that, Wymack tossed his clipboard to the side and pushed up his sleeves, revealing the black flames tattooed on his arms. “I expect five points in the bag by half-time or you all are running so many laps next practice you won’t be able to feel your legs. Now, get your asses on the court.”

Neil shook out his arms and twisted his racquet in his hands as he eyed the other team. Wymack gave them the rundown of the starting line or Penn State earlier so Neil mostly knew what to expect, but the Nittany Lions still had twice the number of players than they did. Palmetto’s team was larger than it was last year, but they still had few players to cycle through. Penn State could burn through half their line-up and still have more fresh players than the Foxes to put on the court.

Robin clacked her stick against Neil’s as they took their places on the line and Neil nodded in appreciation. Palmetto had first serve, so Allison held the ball in her hand, ready to throw it in the air and send it down the court for Neil to catch. She caught his eye threw and nodded.

Taking a deep breath, Neil squeezed his eyes shut until he heard the referee’s whistle to start. Then he took off down the court like a bullet.

The game started off as rough as Wymack said it would. Within minutes, players were colliding with each other and the Plexiglas walls. Neil had the ball hugged between his chest and the net of his racquet as he took his allowed ten steps and swung, aiming for Robin’s waiting net. Although she was several inches taller than Neil, she was nearly just as fast and zig-zagged across the court. Just before her backliner marked checked her and sent her sprawling to the floor, she sent the ball back to Neil.

Between them, they were able to get the ball up the court. But before Neil could score, his mark slammed into him and the ball was dislodged from his net. The backliner caught it and sent it to one of the strikers. Neil cursed and chased after it before it could get too far away from him.

He was the fastest player in NCAA Exy, but he wasn’t fast enough to catch up to the striker before he took a shot on the goal and made it. Four minutes into the game, and Penn State scored the first point.

Neil didn’t have time to dwell on the score when Renee hit the ball back up the court. The rest of the team banged their fists against the Plexiglas and cheered them on. Neil leapt and caught the ball and rebounded it to Robin.

Within minutes, a fight broke out. Both Matt and a one of the tall Nittany Lion strikers earned themselves a yellow card. By the time the first quarter was over and Neil was subbed out for Jack, the score was 2-3, Penn State’s favor.

As soon as Neil slumped down on the bench beside Andrew, Abby swarmed him and shoved cups of water and Gatorade in his hands to drink. Neil waved her off after the third cup and leaned forward to catch his breath. He was already drenched in sweat and his side was throbbing from an errant elbow to his gut when his backliner mark checked him.

Neil wondered what Ichirou was thinking. He wondered if he saw Neil stumble and mess up a shot or if he saw him fight past the brutal backliners and score just out of the goalie’s reach. Neil’s breathing didn’t slow after five minutes sitting on the bench so he tore off his helmet and doubled over it in his lap. He had until fourth quarter to get it together. He couldn’t afford to have a breakdown right now.

Neil hadn’t realized Andrew was saying something to him until Andrew ripped his helmet out of his hands and dropped it to the floor. Andrew’s hand wrapped loosely around Neil’s neck as he brought Neil’s face close to his. When Neil was finally able to breathe, Andrew leaned in close and said, “Get it together, Abram. You do not have time for this.”

Neil nodded in agreement and took a deep breath. Behind Andrew, Neil could see Kevin glancing nervously at him. Neil raised his hand, pleased to see that it didn’t shake, and waved him off. Andrew squeezed once, just enough for Neil to feel it, and let go.

At half time, the score was 5-4, Penn State leading. The court cleared and Abby went from player to player, checking aches and growing bruises and handing each a cup of water. Wymack paced in front of them, tapping his fingers on the side of his arm as he barked orders to the Foxes scrambling around him. When the fifteen minutes of half-time was up, Kevin, Jack, Nicky, Andrew, Sheena, and Dan filed onto the court and took their places against Penn State’s fresh line-up.

If the first half was rough, third quarter was worse. About ten minutes in, Jack was thrown against the wall so hard he slid to the ground and stayed down for several seconds. He struggled to get up but ultimately raised his racquet for the game to be put on hold so he could be subbed out. Two refs passed him to Abby for her to fret over and Wymack sent out Robin in his place.

Energy coursed through Neil’s body. He could have gone out and played the rest of the second half instead of just waiting out on the bench. He should be out there, not here. Last year he played full games with Kevin, he was more than capable of playing the rest of the game. He wanted to call Robin back and take her place himself, but the door was already closed when Neil stood up from the bench. Aaron, who was close by, grabbed Neil’s arm and slammed him back down before Neil could even take a step towards the court doors. Neil shook him off, snarling, but Aaron only rolled his eyes and turned back to his discussion with Matt.

Third quarter ended and two more goals had gotten past Andrew. Considering how much he blocked, a lot more should have gotten through, but Andrew had always been amazing. Kevin and Robin scored two goals between them, putting the score at 7-6, with Penn State leading. Neil’s heart was in his throat.

Neil scrambled up and snatched his helmet and gloves from the bench when Wymack called his name to take Robin’s place. Every step he took sent his heart racing. His palms were sweating but Neil was still able to get a good grip on his racquet, which was the only thing that mattered. By the time the ball was swerved, Neil was already running for it.

Kevin caught the ball and took three steps toward goal before spinning around and sending the ball to Neil. Without hesitation, Neil jumped to meet it and snagged it in his net. He dodged his backliner mark and smacked it back to Kevin. They’d practiced this a million times, hundreds of hours spent on the court well into the night, perfecting the footwork and the angles until neither one of them could move anymore. Kevin caught the ball and flicked his arm so that it slammed into the wall and lit the goal up red before Penn State could even react.

Kevin raised his racquet in the air as the Foxes and the crowd around them screamed. Neil’s grin was fast and triumphant. The stadium around them seemed to shake the entire court. They were tied with Penn State now, and they only needed one more point to progress to finals. They hadn’t won yet, but Neil’s blood was pumping fast through his veins and they had the rest of the fourth quarter to get that point and pull into the lead.

The Penn State goalie served the ball and Neil didn’t waste time watching it fly through the air. He calculated the arc and shot after it, swerving past players in orange and blue on his way to the ball. He reached out to catch it, stretching his entire body forward on the tips of his toes like a bird poised to fly. He was so close, the ball just about to fall into the net when a flash of blue and white slammed into Neil and pinned him against the Plexiglass wall hard enough to knock all the air from his lungs. Neil’s head careened with the glass behind him with a resounding crack, sending a spasm through his body and rocking the ground beneath his feet.

The world tilted dangerously to the side as Neil slumped to the ground like a ragdoll, his racquet slipping from limp fingers to crash to the floor. Tires screeched against asphalt and lights flashed in Neil’s eyes. Someone, far away, was screaming, shrill and sharp in his ears. He could taste blood in his mouth, thick and coppery on his tongue. It felt like someone was squeezing Neil’s entire skull in their hands, making his head pound so hard all he could do was screw his eyes shut and curl into a ball to wait it out.

Neil blinked. He was on the floor of the court in Penn State’s stadium, hundreds of miles and thousands of minutes away from the scene of the car accident.

His vision cleared and Andrew’s face came into focus, hovering several inches in front of Neil’s. Behind the face guard, Neil could see the concern swimming in his hazel eyes, the wrinkle in his brow. Sound slammed into Neil like a freight train, rushing back to him all at once. He could hear the inquisitive rumble of the crowd and the echo from the announcers, replaying Neil’s crash with the backliner.

“Neil.” Andrew’s mouth was moving, but the words came slower. “Are you done?”

Neil shook his head, ignoring the bolt of that went through his skull and pushed himself up. “I’m okay. I can do this,” he said. His words came out intact and clear. It was a good sign that he wasn’t slurring his speech.

Andrew still looked unsure, but Neil’s vision was clear and other than a headache and a bruised shoulder, he was fine.

The people in the stands went fanatic when Neil stood and motioned for the game to continue. They were riled up and eager for the excitement of the game to go on. Andrew’s grip on Neil’s arm loosened as he made his way back to goal after he made sure Neil really was okay. But Neil stood still for a couple more seconds, staring out at the court and its players as the world moved around him.

This was his future, and he wasn’t going to give it up without a fight. Neil hoped Ichirou was watching, he hoped he saw the crash and Neil getting back to his feet. Neil wasn’t so easy to keep down. Eight years on the run made Neil a survivor, but two years with the Foxes made him a fighter.

Neil returned to his place beside Kevin and the game began again when the ball was served.

It was a frenzy, players checking and dodging past each other. Yellow and red cards were handed out like candy to players of both teams as the game grew increasingly more violent. Neil’s muscles and joints throbbed, his head worse of all, but neither he or Kevin gave an inch to the other team.

Andrew had shut down the goal, no matter how many shots the strikers tried to take, Andrew didn’t let a single one hit its mark. A thrill went through Neil as he raced across the court. They could do this. The Foxes could do this.

The timer was counting down. With two minutes left on the clock, the Foxes and the Nittany Lions were at a stalemate with seven points each. Both teams fought against each other, pushing past each other’s backliners and aiming for the goal only to get denied the delicious taste of victory.

A stitch was forming in Neil’s side and no matter how much Neil fought to resist the tug of fatigue, he was starting to slow down. Neil knew Kevin felt it too, when he glanced over and saw Kevin struggling for every breath when they lined up for Penn State to take a penalty shot. Neil grit his teeth. One more point. They just needed one more point.

The Penn State striker took a single step and swung, aiming for the top right corner of the goal. Andrew reacted instantly, deflecting the ball and batting it with enough force it flew all the way to the other side of the court. Kevin and Neil followed as one, a two-part creature sharing one brain, communicating through quick glances and small movements from their racquets.

Kevin caught the ball and swung around to Neil when a backliner blocked his path. Neil caught it with ease and doubled back when he saw his way to the goal was blocked as well. He passed it to Kevin but Kevin rebounded it off the wall back to Dan as he fought with his backliner. Dan tossed it in the air, her position on the court not much better than Kevin’s.

There was a space between Neil’s backliner mark and the Penn State dealer dogging his steps. Neil saw his opportunity when Kevin and Dan juggled the ball back and forth between each other to keep it away from Penn State. He ran through the gap of bodies and twisted around just in time to catch the ball Dan passed to him.

Time slowed down. The world narrowed and the only thing Neil could hear in the large stadium was his ragged breathing and his footsteps across the court. The thirty seconds left of the game counted down slowly, in time with his steady heartbeat. An arm interrupted Neil’s view of the goal but Neil ducked under it and dodged the other backliner waiting for him. Twenty seconds left on the clock, two more steps for Neil to take.

One step towards the goal. Neil shifted and aimed the ball to line up his shot. At the last second, Neil took his second and last step and pivoted on his right foot. He swung for the bottom corner of the goal and watched the ball leave his racquet.

It was out of Neil’s hands now. The goalie dove for it, but she was too late. Neil’s shot slammed into the corner of the goal, lighting up Neil’s world red as the buzzer reverberated through his body.

Before Neil could even catch his breath or before Penn State could snatch up the ball and take it down the court to try for another point, the second buzzer announced the end of the game. Kevin and Dan were at Neil’s side in an instant, yelling so loudly Neil’s ears rang with their voices. Down the court, Neil could see the rest of the Foxes cheering and celebrating. They won, 7-8. Eight points. The Foxes were going to finals for the second year in a row.

A slow grin spread across Neil’s face. Across the court, Andrew leaned across his racquet. The only sign he was affected at all was the heavy rise and fall of his chest. Dan looped her arm around Neil’s shoulders before his legs could give out and send him toppling to the floor again. Together they made their way to the rest of the teams lining up to shake each other’s hands.

The only thing Neil felt when the Foxes made their way off the court was the savage triumph swelling in his chest. Ichirou was an afterthought. Neil didn’t think he could be scared when victory was coursing through his veins. Matt and Sheena were assigned press duty while the rest of the Foxes made their way to the locker rooms. Neil was grateful, he didn’t think he had the breath for dealing with reporters.

Neil met up with Andrew in the locker room. He hadn’t quite managed to erase the grin on his face when Andrew rounded on him, but Andrew didn’t seem to mind.

“You closed down the goal,” Neil said, his grin only growing wider with awe. “That’s a lot of work for someone who doesn’t care about Exy.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Well, unfortunately I care about your dumbass. Now go shower before the smell sets in. I can barely stand you as it is.”

The steadying hand Andrew had around Neil’s wrist easily negated his words. Neil laughed and fetched his clothes. He waited for the rest of the team to finish before he made his way to the stall-less showers. Even after a win like that, Neil didn’t feel like stripping in front of the rest of the team.

After letting the hot water work the ache in his muscles, he turned off the shower and toweled the rest of the water off of his body so he could get dressed. When he left the showers, the first thing Neil saw Andrew. Alarm bells immediately went off in his head. The line of Andrew’s shoulders was tense and he held his body as if preparing for a fight. When Neil rounded the corner, he saw why.

Ichirou Moriyama stood in front of Neil, his guards flanking both his sides. They were all dressed in impeccable black suits and ties. They looked like they had finished an important business meeting more than they looked like they had just watched an Exy game. Looking at them, the only thing that gave away what a danger they presented were the guns resting at their hips. Neil raised his chin and met Ichirou’s unerring stare, refusing to back down.

Kevin’s face was strained from where he stood beside Andrew. When Neil entered the room, his eyes found Neil’s. Where Neil expected to find panic and desperation, he saw determination behind the fear.

“Wesninski,” Ichirou greeted. It sounded more like a threat than a pleasantry. In the corner of his eye, Andrew stiffened and clenched his fists while Kevin shot sharp glances between the two of them. Ichirou then looked to Kevin and Andrew and flicked his fingers dismissively. “You two may leave. I will speak to Nathaniel alone.”

Kevin looked confused before Ichirou’s words set in. His eyes widened. Kevin was free to go, but Neil was not. Andrew’s mouth tightened like he was about to argue but there was only one of him and four of Ichirou’s guards. Even with knives, Andrew didn’t stand a chance against armed guards. Neil met his eyes and gave a near imperceptible nod. Andrew stared at him for a long time before he dragged a lagging Kevin from the room.

Neil knew he should wait before Ichirou addressed him, but Neil’s blood was laced with fire. His father was the butcher, after all. Neil met Ichirou’s gaze head-on. “My Lord, if I may. My team played well tonight and will be advancing to finals in the coming weeks. I scored several of those points and even scored us the final goal. To dispose of me now would be a lost opportunity for winning finals a second year in a row.”

Ichirou inclined his head. His eyes glinted, and Neil knew he wasn’t pleased with him speaking out of turn. “Are you suggesting I extend the deadline? You are bargaining for a few more weeks of your life until I come again at the end of that game as well. You cannot keep pushing this back.”

“I’m not asking for you to extend the deadline. I’m asking for you to abolish it.” Neil paused and waited for Ichirou to motion for him to continue. “I have proved, time and again, that I am a valuable asset.”

“I am not happy with you, Wesninski. You still speak out of turn and plead for your dying case. I would save myself from so much trouble if I washed my hands of you completely,” Ichirou said, his voice never wavering. Neil swallowed.

“I am sorry, Lord Moriyama.” Neil bowed his head, still not taking his eyes off of the mob boss. “But happy or not, I will continue to make you money through my future career as a professional Exy player, if you’d let me. If you get rid of me now, you will not get the money I promised you.”

Ichirou was silent. Neil really hoped he was considering Neil’s words and not thinking about all the ways to kill him. Minutes seemed to pass, marked only by the loud thudding of Neil’s heart. Andrew was waiting outside for him, like he always would be. The Foxes were there as well, still drunk on their victory. Neil’s death would ruin more than just an Exy season.

He couldn’t die now, not after all of this, after all he survived. Neil had fought hard to get back to where he was before the car accident so many months ago. He didn’t want all of that to go to waste.

“Very well,” Ichirou finally conceded and Neil let out a small breath that was trapped in his lungs. “I suppose you can still be of use to me. But I expect you to keep your mouth more in check, next time we meet. And yes, there will be many next times. Now leave.”

Neil didn’t need to be told twice. He kept his footsteps even until he was out of the door and down the hall, away from Ichirou’s sight. He staggered with relief and squeezed his eyes shut as he leaned against the wall. When he opened them, Andrew was standing in front of him with his arms loose at his sides. Andrew was the only one in the long hallway. He must have sent Kevin ahead to the others.

Neil looked at him. He had all the time in the world to be with Andrew, now that Neil no longer had a death sentence. He felt the smile spreading across his face even before Andrew narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to be captain next year,” he said.

“Yes or no –”

“Yes.”

Neil answered Andrew’s question before he could even finish it. Andrew leaned in but Neil was already falling into him. He pressed Neil against the wall and gave him a bruising kiss that burned through his body like a wildfire. Neil thought it was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted.

They had to keep it brief, but Neil let himself drop his head against Andrew’s shoulder for a couple minutes as he laughed with giddy relief. Andrew’s fingers worked through his hair, sending the droplets of water still clinging to the strands dripping to the floor. Andrew lifted Neil’s head with a hand on his chin and leveled him an even stare. Neil twined his fingers with Andrew’s, still tangled in his hair. Neil didn’t believe in a god, but the kiss he placed on the corner of Andrew’s mouth was the closest he’d ever come to a prayer.

Andrew pulled away and leaned his forehead against Neil’s. Neil’s breathing was even, his heartbeat steady. He was alive, and he had the permission to continue to live. To play Exy. To love Andrew.

Neil grinned and pulled Andrew closer. “Let’s go home,” he whispered in the scant inches between them. Andrew lifted his head, his hazel eyes reminding Neil that he already had his home right in front of him.

“You did it, Abram.”

[remember-the-fanfics]

Restart?

Ddlc x fem!reader

-

Chapter 1

-

I've had always woke up and Listen to my parents get ready for the day, but now I wake up before them and Listen to our dogs walk around or my breathing, thinking what the day would hold.

It was Monday and Mom worm the night/morning before so she was gonna be home soon and go to bed when we wake up. I hear her car come up the driveway as I got up and picked up my phone from the nightstand. 7: 57, if you wonder why I'm not freaking out about being at school, I'm homeschooled.

I grab a cover and a pencil and went into the living room as she opened the door.

"(Y/n)?" She question as I sat in my favorite seat on the couch.

"Goodmoring, Mama." I said checking things on my phone.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Kinda?Plus thinking about Life." I told, getting up to get some cereal. "How was work?" I asked, knowing she might not answer, all she did was get a cup and poured some coffee in it.

"You gonna start school early?" Asked Mom, fixing her cup of coffee to her liking.

"Maybe, I might wait for father to wake up, I'm not sure." I told her, sitting down with my seat and started to eat. Mom was sitting on the Love-seat and turn on the News. I don't if She knew about the game... I only told My Dad. Doki Doki Literature Club was still on my desktop, I haven't done anything with since I finished and it was all deleted. I was going to do something, I just need to think about it.

Time went on and I finished my breakfast and Mom finished her coffee and went to bed. I started on School, English. It was mostly easy beside what I finished Last week. I was working on poems, I had to write one. Now I'm just reading a play and the normal. Beside me usually been assigned a book it's easy.

I was almost done when Dad woke up and woke up our dogs as well. He got coffee, sat down and checked thing on his phone.

"(Y/n), you need to get more sleep." He said, not even looking up. I didn't care and kept working, I check the time, 8: 41. Dad went to wake my brother quietly, trying not to wake up Mom. After 20 minutes, he got up and Dad made him directly stray on English. I soon finished what I needed to do for English and started on Spanish, which I don't like learning because I was still learning English!

It was a booklet and only need to do 5 pages a day is easy. I try to do extra so I can be finish for the year. Dad feed our dogs and soon started getting ready for work, near 9: 30, and I soon finished.

"Do extra." Said Dad.

I sighed. "I did do extra. I'm going for a walk." I said, which is me walking in a line, on my phone listening to my music for 30 minutes. I grabbed my earbuds and headed out.

-

So I was sitting there after walking, on a large rock. Strolling threw my phone and I clicked on Steam, to see what's on sale even if I knew I couldn't get it. I look at my library and seeing something was downloading? My Computer was closed, the game was Doki Doki Literature Club... Maybe it was updating? I wasn't sure until I got back home to see my brother on my computer.

"Hey! You have your own computer! Use it!" I said getting it from him.

"What? It was doing something! I had to check it out." He said. I looked at the screen, the game was open? But downloading at the same time? Soon Text box showed up.

'Why do you get to be free?'

-OK-

[sofreakinmanyfandoms]

The Nice Guy - Part 5 of 6

Mari = Mari McCabe (Vixen) from DC. I do not own her. I merely ship her with Sam most passionately because they’re perfect for each other.

Word count: 2092

Warnings: Fluffffffff

------------------------------

Tuesday came around and you felt a bundle of nerves coiled in your stomach as you and Clint left your apartment to head to Nat and Bucky’s.

“Y/N, relax,” Clint urged as the two of you approached their place. “We’re just gonna be watching an away game with our friends. What has you so tense?”

You snuggled closer to his side, arm around his waist. “It’s just…”

“Hey,” he said, stopping and turning you to face him, “talk to me.”

You sighed. “I haven’t talked to Sam since we started dating. What if he hates me now?”

“He won’t hate you. He’s your friend, Y/N; he doesn’t want to be miserable and lonely for the rest of your life just because you dated his late best friend.”

“I know…” You fiddled with the hem of your sweater, eyes on Clint’s black Vans. “I really do know that. There’s just a part of me that’s unsure.”

“Then let’s go in there,” Clint leaned in to kiss your forehead, “and show that part of you that it was worried for nothing.”

He didn’t bother knocking; no one in the group needed to knock when there was a full get-together. The door was unlocked and everyone else had already arrived. The two of you unloaded the brownies and soda you’d brought at the already overladen snack table that had been set up in the corner of the living room.

When you turned to face your friends, you found everyone staring at the two of you. Nat, Bucky, Steve, and Peggy were all smirking at the sight of Clint’s arm around your waist, while Sam’s eyes were wide with surprise.

“Well,” Sam said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen, “it’s about damn time.”

You felt your face flush as Clint laughed and pressed a kiss to your temple. “My thoughts exactly, man,” he laughed.

After the game had finished, you found yourself sitting next to Sam on the couch. He was showing you a picture of the young woman one of his professors paired him with for a partner assignment. Her name was Mari, and he was smitten but hadn’t yet worked up the courage to ask her out.

“Can I ask you something?” you asked when the conversation eventually hit a lull. “Why were you so instantly okay with Clint and me dating? I mean, I guess I expected part of you to be mad because…”

“Because you used to date Riley,” he finished for you. “It’s not like you and Riley broke up, Y/N. I know you loved him like he loved you, and part of you always will. I’m just glad you’re able to make room in your heart to try loving someone again.”

“Thanks,” you said with a smile, “I really appreciate hearing you say that.”

“Besides,” Sam laughed, “I’m pretty sure all of us but you have known about Clint’s crush on you for years. Riley was afraid to ask you out when he first met you because he thought you and Clint were already together.”

“No!” you gasped. “Why did he think that?”

“You’ve always been so comfortable around each other,” he explained, “and like I said, it was obvious to the rest of us that he’s in love with you. Seriously, as open-minded as Clint is, not even he would volunteer to stay in the middle of a girl’s night and have his toenails painted unless it meant spending time with you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my friend,” Cline said, popping his head up from behind the couch and cutting into your conversation. “Foot care is important. Your feet are the foundation of your body. If there’s something wrong with them, it throws your whole body off. Why not also make them pretty?”

“Man, you are all kinds of strange.”

“Yes, he is,” you agreed with a grin, “and I wouldn’t change a thing about him.”

----------

The months went by and your relationship with Clint remained steady. Sometimes you would go out on more formal dates (usually to celebrate special occasions like finals being over), but mostly the two of you continued to hang out as you normally would but with Clint showing more physical affection. He always kept it light, a hand to the small of your back or a kiss to the cheek, never wanting to push you beyond what you were comfortable with. You really appreciated it; as much as you knew you still loved him as a friend, you didn’t want to do anything that marked too much commitment while you were still trying to sort out your feelings.

One Saturday in August, he planted his usual goodbye kiss to your forehead on his way out the door. He was on his way to a guys’ hangout at Bucky’s, while the ladies of your friend group were coming over to your apartment. In a few hours the eight of you (Sam had finally asked Mari out and you’d all absorbed her into your group) would meet up at a burger joint for dinner.

“Okay, so,” Peggy started when she opened the door, all three of the girls pouring into the apartment at once, “I had this idea. We’ve done mani-pedis before, but not facials, so I brought a bunch of different products since I wasn’t sure what everyone’s skin types were.”

“Girl, those are expensive,” Mari gasped as she watched Peggy unload the supplies. “How can you afford all that?”

“She’s rich,” you laughed. “Probably didn’t realize they’re expensive to us normal folk.”

“Hey,” Peggy protested, “I’ll have you know I specifically didn’t get anything actually expensive in an effort to avoid this conversation.”

“Little things add up,” Nat pointed up, reaching over to grab a charcoal mask and read the label, “but she’s right about these being mid-range as far as the cost goes. Nice choices, Peg, these are some quality masks for the price point.”

“Thank you, Nat. Just enjoy it ladies. I only supply the activity for girls’ night every fourth hangout.”

She showed you all what she had brought and you each selected the mask you wanted to use. Peggy was right; if she could afford to spoil you guys and wanted to, it didn’t hurt to let her. Girls’ night didn’t come around that often anyway.

You had a vote on what to do while the masks were on your faces, since they tended to make talking difficult. Call of Duty won out, and you and Mari made Nat and Peggy be on separate teams this time to prevent a repeat of what you jokingly referred to as The Great Slaughter. Mari and Nat ended up beating you and Peggy for the first round and losing the second. The four of you were about to make it the best two out of three when the timer went off to remind you to remove your masks.

“So, Mari,” Peggy asked once the masks were off and talking became easier, “how are things going with Sam?”

She shook her head and laughed. “He’s a dolt and I think I’m falling in love. He showed up early to pick me up after my last fitting for next week’s show and couldn’t talk straight for fifteen minutes. I was in a sweater! We’re showing upcoming fall fashion, for goodness’ sake.”

“He gushes about your accomplishments when you’re not around,” you told her with a smile. “All about how proud he is you got your modeling job, how amazing you look in everything, how your eyes light up when you talk about work…”

“That man has it bad,” Peggy added.

“He’d better, I’m amazing,” Mari joked. “Seriously, though, he’s so supportive and it means the world to me. My ex used to get mad at me for trying to model, said he was the only one allowed to look at me.”

Nat frowned. “I hope you dumped his ass.”

“Faster than Clint inhales nachos.”

The comparison had the four of you laughing as Nat restarted your game for round three.

“Speaking of men who have it bad, how are things with Clint?” Nat asked.

“Oh, no,” you replied as you made your avatar duck behind an overturned Humvee. “I am not letting you distract me. Peggy and I are winning this round.”

“I was actually wondering the same thing,” Peggy said as her avatar lobbed a grenade at Nat’s hiding spot.

“Yeah, girl, spill,” Mari added. “We want details.”

“Does no one care how things are going with Steve or Bucky?”

Peggie laughed at your attempts at misdirection. “Steve’s perfect, as always.”

“Bucky’s still an asshole and I still love him,” Nat said, “now stop dodging the question.”

You sighed, acknowledging they weren’t going to let up easily. “I don’t know. I still don’t feel like I’m in love with him, but the thought of living without him hurts, so I don’t know what to do about it.”

“So what I’m hearing,” Nat said, briefly interrupting herself with a curse as Peggy got the drop on her in-game, “is that you’re in love with him but don’t recognize it.”

“Hypothetical scenario.” Peggy took full advantage of surprising Nat, bringing your team into the lead. “You never see Clint ever again. You’ve got the rest of our friend group still, but Clint is gone. What’s your reaction?”

It wasn’t too hard to imagine; you’d lost Riley, after all. But…even when you’d lost Riley, you still had Clint. You’d known him since you were five; every major memory you had from growing up, every milestone, Clint had been there. If he were suddenly gone…

“Y/N, honey, breath,” Mari said, dropping her controller and wrapping her arms around your shoulders. You forced yourself to take a deep breath and suddenly realized you were sobbing.

“I wasn’t expecting my question to hit so hard,” Peggy apologized, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I had no idea…”

“He’s always been there,” you gasped out around your sobs. “Then I thought about losing him like Riley, and I couldn’t take it. My world would fall apart.”

The girls wrapped themselves around you, the game still on the screen but entirely forgotten. It took almost ten minutes to calm you down from your surprise panic attack. Once you were calm, Mari realized that you were all supposed to meet the guys in twenty minutes and had a fifteen-minute walk to get there. The rush to get ready was interspersed with you assuring them all individually and together that you were okay now.

And you were okay, until you saw Clint waving at you right outside the door of your destination. You felt it then, every bit of emotion you felt for him, the gratitude and the joy and the overwhelming need. You needed Clint, you realized, and you didn’t want to stop needing him. You wanted him with you for the rest of your life so that you’d never have to face anything alone and so you could help him in all the ways he helped you.

“Hey, love, how was girls’– mmph!”

You cut him off with a kiss, the first kiss you ever gave him. It wasn’t soft or sweet like you’d always assumed it would be whenever it finally happened; you were pouring all of the want and need you felt into it, and he melted against you immediately, telegraphing his love back. It was desperate and needy and you felt like your whole body was on fire when you finally had to break away for air.

“I love you.”

“Really?”

The hope in his eyes almost made you cry again. You didn’t trust your voice, so you nodded.

“I love you too, Y/N. I’ve loved you for so long.” He was crying, and that did it; tears started falling down your cheeks again.

“I know.” You kissed him again, softer this time but just as passionate. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out my feelings.”

“Never,” Clint said fiercely, “ever apologize. You are worth every bit of the wait.”

“As touching and drastically overdue as this whole thing is,” Bucky cut in, “I’m hungry. Can we go eat now? Hey!” He jumped and protested as Natasha jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

You laughed and rested your head on Clint’s shoulder. “Yes, Bucky, we can go eat now.”

“Say it again,” Clint whispered to you as the eight of you made your way into the restaurant. You smiled up at him, completely taken with the light in his eyes.

“I love you.”

[daehwifi]

HEADACHE . | DONG SICHENG

- admin xion

genre: fluff/angst  group/member: nct/dong sicheng (winwin) word count: 2, 114 requested: no side notes: dedicated to @nctonthephone ily sheila <3 here’s a gift in return for that cUTE JISUNG TEXT SCENARIO THAT I REQUESTED ALTHOUGH I WENT ON ANON MODE PAHAHAHAH // it’s a cliche scenario am sORRY I TRIED MY BEST BUBS IT’S SO BAD 

prompt:  when your soulmate isn’t around you, he/she gets a massive headache. the further the distance you are away from him, the more it hurts. 

you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear while puffing up your cheeks

the sketch you’ve been working on for the past hour wasn’t coming out as planned and you were disappointed in yourself of the outcome

you knew you could’ve done better and it defeated you, even more, knowing that you were forced to hand it in at the end of the period

despite all the compliments you friends had given you from the sketch, you were doubtful of their comments and had wished you could restart, receiving more time 

sadly, that was all in your head while reality hit you whilst submitting your assignment into the hand-in bin 

on top of your pitied defeat, your friends whom already found their soulmates were having the time of their lives clinging to one another arms and giggling 

you couldn’t blame them though, if they were to leave them, one would get a headache 

the headaches only apply to one person in the relationship, and it could possibly vary from time to time

being with them suddenly doesn’t just take away a headache 

a headache just lessens a lot, unless they make physical contact then the headache would go away fully 

you were left with a mixed feeling when it came to the topic of a soulmate

luckily, you weren’t the one in the relationship who’d grown a headache depending on the distance away from them

but unluckily, you knew that you were hurting someone if you were to take your luck carelessly 

to add on, you weren’t even sure on who it was 

you’ve lived in a constant loop of hearing your friends complain about their neighbor next door to only soon fall in love them with, while you were left on a constant cliff-hanger on your end

it’s come to the extent where you passed down opportunities to go to different countries, simply because you didn’t want to hurt your soulmate

oddly enough, you felt a strong connection to this person you didn’t even know, as though you were already in love with him

your classmate winced from the sudden pain she received from the paper cut while rushing to the teacher (mrs.joon) to get a band-aid

mrs.joon softly sighed to how inconsiderate she was and gave away her last band-aid 

she uttered a few words before realizing that she didn’t have enough band-aids to supply whomever would hurt themselves next and it bothered her 

you, finishing all the work early and simply just resting against the desk, was called upon to get a box of band-aids from the nurses office

you happily accepted (being bored as shit) and made your way there 

“sicheng! this is the 5th time you almost fainted in class and had to come here...” ms.hyo (the nurse) pitied while placing a wet cloth on his forehead

“is your soulmate really that far?” she softly queried 

of course, being a nurse in this soulmate world, you’d have to hear the excuse “my soulmate is too far” multiple times and be accepting towards it 

but she felt so bad for sicheng since he would constantly show up in the nurses office due to his major headaches and had even spent a night in there once  

“ms.hyo,” you spoke, interrupting the sentimental moment

yes, you did feel a bit bad but you didn’t want to wait around for 10 minutes for the perfect moment

the two of you were close anyways since you had a fragile body and spent majority if your first year in the nurses office 

she turned around on her stool and looked at you with a soft smile, raising one of her eyebrows

“i just need a box of band-aids. mrs.joon ran out in her classroom and- you know how she is with being prepared,” you uttered 

ms.hyo warmly nodded and rolled to a nearby cabinet on her stool

meanwhile, sicheng sat up from his bed and remove the cloth from his forehead

he looked a bit lost and rather confused

his head began to hurt less, but the pain was definitely there  

he licked his pale chapped lips, giving them color, and stared at the blank wall in front of him 

she handed you a large box consisting of band-aids and sent you off with a smile before her attention was drawn back towards sicheng 

“lay down! why are you getting up?” she blurted before sighing in defeat

you couldn’t help but notice sicheng’s eyes locking with yours 

the aroma he gave off wasn’t cold nor blunt, but rather soft and fragile 

his soft brown eyes and the way he pursed his lips together made you almost flustered 

his pale lips turned to a light pink that looked extremely kissable 

there was a feeling that lingered inside of you; light, fluffy and almost happy in a sense

but that soon faded away when ms.hyo lightly placed the wet cloth back onto his forehead and made him lay back down 

you left the room, closing the door behind, reminiscing about that foreign feeling 

your classes had been messed up for the next week 

due to renovations and the school slowly re-building itself, your classes had been moved around and you found yourself hanging out in an area you rarely visit

you sat with your friends whom welcomed you warmly, but they instantly went back to their conversation, out-casting you but not on purpose

“hey! how are you feeling?” you heard a group of guys spoke loudly behind you 

glancing behind yourself, you noticed it was that same boy from the nurses office

this time, he had a bright smile across his face, clearly feeling better  

“the headache died down a lot actually,” he announced with a sheepishly

the four boys nudged him around, teasing him whilst mentioning how “love is in the air” 

referring to his soulmate being close to him

you wondered if that was true on your end 

“seriously? your headaches are usually really bad though,” one spoke 

“yeah! you almost collapsed earlier too!” the other added 

you didn’t know why, but you felt guilty on the inside 

“it’s fine, really. i feel better right now and i can barely feel the pain,” sicheng explained 

you couldn’t help but admire his hair 

soft pink that almost matched the color of his lips 

why were you looking at his lips?

the color reminded you of what cherry blossoms looked like in the spring when the petals would fall to the ground 

when you noticed you had been staring for too long, you snapped out of it and your eyes averted away from the group 

“your soulmate must be near you!” another voice spoke happily 

you softly smiled to yourself, happy for sicheng

his head must hurt less due to his soulmate being near him

meanwhile, your heart only hurt more because you didn’t know where was your soulmate and if he had been hurting

your next few classes had been really odd, but you were thankful for it

you weren’t used too being in a classroom near sicheng 

especially since you’d see him in the outfit more often 

but why was that important to you?

your friends had pointed out that sometimes you’d zone out of their conversation and stare into his direction 

sometimes, your cheeks would get a little bit pink too when staring at him

and his smile made your heart melt so much 

what if he was your soulmate? 

after such longing, had you finally found him? 

or were you just falling in love with someone whose soulmate wasn’t you

luckily, you were able to interact with him through mutual friends 

you enjoyed hearing his awkward laugh

and day by day, you slowly began to admire his pink hair more and more 

his friends (that soon became your friends) would congratulate him every time he announced that his head was hurting less 

but they’d also mention that every time you left the room, his head would begin to feel like weights were being thrown at it

you nervously handed him a bottle of pain relievers you kept on you, along with a water bottle when you came across him in the cafeteria by himself

his head was in his hands and he looked like he was in pain 

the sudden sound of the pills rolling around in the bottle caused him to shoot up from his hands and look at you

“take those. should take some pain away from your h-head,” you mumbled shyly 

and there goes your heart rate 

sicheng shoved them away to the other side of the table and smiled warmly 

“i feel better now that you’re here,” he spoke softly

and there goes your cheeks 

“still, keep them on you! you can use them whenever you’re feeling pain,” you persisted 

sicheng softly smiled warmly before accepting the bottle of pain relievers

the next day had rolled around and another sigh escaped your lips in defeat 

doing club activities with your friends wasn’t a good idea either

you were the only single one of the group and felt like an outcast 

you knew their intentions of inviting you were good, but you couldn’t bear to blame them for not paying attention to you

this only made you realize that soulmates are really bounded to be together, but how come you couldn’t find yours? 

and how much pain had they been facing without you?

you decided to leave early and they seemed completely okay with that despite they gave a slight hint of sorrow 

aimlessly, you made your way to the nurses office to greet ms.hyo 

you had to kill time until the next period since you were supposed to help the club during this current period 

so it wouldn’t make sense if you just randomly went back to class, making it seem as though you were just skipping

but now, you’re actually just skipping 

there, laid sicheng on one of the beds 

his lips seemed to be more pale than yesterday 

he was curled up into a little ball, clenching his heart 

ms.hyo was nowhere to be found either

“are you okay?” you blurted out of concern

this was the first time you were alone in a room with him 

even in yesterday’s situation, there were students roaming around in the cafeteria and chatting

now, it was a simple quiet room with just the two of you

with sudden strength rushing through him, he jolted up from his bed and stared at you blankly

“y-yeah! my head just h-hurt a lot earlier,” he fretted nervously 

you nodded clueless and noticed his flaky lips 

sicheng noticed your eyes locked onto his lips, causing him to lick them out of natural habit

“my lips get chapped whenever i feel ill... it’s weird,” he explained

“his soulmate must have been far away from him” you thought inside your head

“here!  put this on your l-lips,” you replied, stuttering without knowing why 

you approached him whilst grabbing your chapstick from your pocket

you handed him the circular object and stared at him applying the material onto his lips 

they were slowly being given color while a light coat of gloss was added to his pink lips 

you didn’t seem to notice your pink cheeks while staring at them blankly  

“thanks,” he mumbled while handing you back the chapstick 

his fingers grazed yours quickly

but within that quick second, it was as though his headache went away

no- it definitely did go away

sicheng was sure of it 

he was slowly putting two and two inside his head while his eyes scattered the room

meanwhile, you saw that the conversation had died down and decided to sheepishly smile before leaving the room

and that’s when it sparked 

sicheng quickly grabbed your wrist and breathed heavily

he’s never done something as bold as this before, but he just couldn’t help himself 

clueless, you turned around and noticed how he was sitting up more straight now 

“s-stay!” he blurted out of the nowhere 

your cheeks flushed a bright pink that matched his hair color 

his grip on your wrist only got tighter, but it wasn’t hurting you at all 

he quickly blinked while his eyes still haven’t met yours 

but when they did, there was a look in them that you weren’t able to read

it was soft, a melting look that almost made you smile a bit

“my head doesn’t hurt at all when we’re like this,” he confessed softly

his hand slowly trailed down from your wrist to your hand 

you could feel his soft skin against yours

and without having any words to be said

you finally figured out who was your soulmate 

[soccerload420]

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Timeline

Track your background activity for more accurate time entries. Currently only available for Mac.

Preview Timeline

Idle Detection

Choose what to do with the time you were away from your computer.

Enabling desktop notifications helps me reduce procrastination whenever I’m not tracking my time.' – User Review from Capterra

Reminders

Select days and times for the app to remind you to track your time.

I love that Toggl Track will give me reminders to track time! It's really helped me stay consistent!' – User Review from GetApp

Autotracker

Trigger time entry suggestions based on the software you're currently using.

It’s such an easy way to automatically track your time so you aren't fussing with buttons, etc.' – User Review from GetApp

Pomodoro Timer

Set up the pomodoro timer and get a nudge at preset time intervals to take a break. Stretch, meditate, or take the dog for a walk.

Track Time Offline

Lost your internet connection? No worries. Toggl Track Desktop saves your time entries and syncs them when you come back online!

One-click Tracking

Start and stop with one click! Your default project will automatically be assigned to your time entry.

Menu Bar Display

The timer and project are displayed in your menu bar, so you'll always know how much time you are currently tracking.

Dark Mode

Take it easy on your eyes with dark mode. All the cool kids are doing it.

Timeline

Quickly see where you actually spend your time with a side-by-side overview of automatically-tracked activity vs your current time entries.

It's easy to get started with Toggl Track's timer app for Mac

Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4

Step 1: Login to the Toggl Track Mac Timer. Create your Toggl Track account to get started. Haven't downloaded Toggl Track Desktop for Mac yet?

Step 2: Create your first time entry by entering the name of the activity you are working on.

Step 3: Assign your time entry to a project by clicking “+ Add Project” under the running time entry. Projects are useful for grouping related time entries. You can also add tags to your time entries. Tags are useful for filtering time entries or grouping similar entries across multiple projects.

Step 4: Switch to the Timeline View to get a visual overview of your daily time entries. Edit the entries' start and stop times by dragging them, add additional tags, and add or change the project from within the Timeline.

Toggl Track is not just on your desktop

Toggl Track follows you from your desktop to your phone to your browser. No matter where you start tracking, Toggl Track syncs your data in real time so you don't lose a second.

Track Time wherever you Go

Toggl Track is always with you with our mobile app. Start tracking from anywhere and your time will sync across Toggl Track apps. M1922 browning 7.65.

Full Access with Toggl Track Online

Track time in our web app and review in-depth time reports or leverage project templates, dashboards, and time estimates.

Track Time Inside Your Daily Tools

Use Toggl Track’s browser plugin to track from inside tools like Asana, Gmail, Todoist, Zendesk, and more!

Toggl Track has become embedded in my daily routine. I use it on my Linux laptop, Windows desktop, Chrome browser, and Android phone. And the experience across all of these platforms is very intuitive and in near perfect sync.

– User Review from Capterra

Start tracking time with Toggl Track Desktop

Toggl Track’s timer on Mac is compatible with El Capitan and newer. Create an account and start tracking!

Need help? Find in-depth tutorials and FAQs for Toggl Track Desktop for Mac in our Knowledge Base.

Now includes extra features you requested.

Keeping time is easy to do

Simple and minimalistic, with outstanding visibility.

Custom text for timeout You can now insert your own, custom text for timeout!

Ability to change colors Color the timer and timeout screen the way you want

Timeout and notification sounds Five timeout sounds to choose from, with optional notification sound

Big and bold display for great visibility Well visible even from far away, perfect for large events

Set time up to 24 hours Autorestart, Count Up/Down, Exceeded time option and more …

Works on any computer and no installation is needed.

All features and benefits

Autorestart function Timer will restart automatically when limit is reached. Great for repeated countdowns and interval use. Count up and Count down functions Choose the way you want to display your countdown. Count up will start from zero and count up to the number you have set. Unit display option Show time in seconds (units) and set time from 1 up to 99999 seconds (27.7 hours). Show instructions Enable or disable instructions text between screens.

Extra features

Option to set time even while timer is running This way you can always give some extra space to speakers if needed. Show exceeded time after time is up Option to display by how much time was exceeded after the end screen. Useful if you want to see how many minutes/seconds over the allotted time a presenter ran. Custom text on timeout Option to change and write your own timeout text. Customize the timeout message to suit your needs.

Change timer color

Default colors Default display is in black and white, with red screen on timeout. Color palette Choose between colors from a carefully selected palette to fit the timer to your own specific needs.

Sounds

Timeout sound 5 different timeout sounds. Select and choose the one that you like best! Notification sounds Keep the speakers on track. Sound will play to signal the last 5 minutes, last minute, 30 seconds and last 5 seconds.

Custom text for timeout

Type your own text and modify the message.

Color the timer the way you want

Select and combine colors from a carefully selected palette.

Take control of your event

Timer is a great fit for many usage scenarios, such as …

Event organizing

Super easy and quick to use. Great visibility makes it a perfect option for use at small or large public events.

Business use

Business meetings can be a huge waste of time. Not anymore! Use this timer to keep all your meetings on track.

Schools, churches …

Great for teachers to use during tests, for preachers and other speakers or even for your personal practice.

30-day money back guarantee

If for any reason you’re not satisfied with your purchase send us an email, we will refund the full purchase price.

Still not convinced?

Here is what other people have to say.

Steve Darmody / stevedarmody.org

“Just finished producing a major event at Oakland’s Scottish Rite Center for a television host plus many other participants. The television host is used to being on a tight schedule, and keeping it tight. But how could I get everyone else on time. Well, the Minimalistic Countdown Timer Extended – for MAC was my answer and it was perfect! The show went from 2pm to 6:40pm and we actually ended 3 minutes early. Everyone was amazed and kept asking me how I kept everyone on time. I told them! I’m so grateful for finding this app.”

Dave Lawson / stagingsolutions.com

“This product is amazing… simple to use and extremely functional and well designed. I have used it on many large events we have produced over the last 6 months. I use programs and apps all the time for our business and I must say that this has been the best timer solution I have ever used.”

Chris Elrod / chriselrod.com

“I am a preacher and speaker. I have used every countdown timer app in the store for keeping my sermons and speeches on track. Minimalistic Countdown Timer is by far the BEST!!! It is easy to use, big display for easy viewing and a bright red background when it’s time to stop talking. I also use this app in meetings to keep them on track.”

Igor Panjan / datafy.it

“My team uses the Countdown timer at startup events around Europe. Definitely the easiest and the fastest timer to setup and use.”

Andrew Fox / bizshows.co.uk

“This is a great countdown timer for events! In a conference environment with top level speakers. It would be really good, though, just to show the time display to the speaker and NOT show the operational workings of setting the time on their screen. I made a suggestion for this to the developers and their response was very fast – and they are very possibly going to implement the idea.”

More reviews

Christian Bentley / showmode.co.uk “As a company specialising in presentation design for large corporate conferences and live events – we (and the presenters that we work with) love the clean design of the CountdownKings software. It´s simple, super intuitive to use – and does what it says on the tin. We would strongly recommend this lightweight software as a quick and easy solution to having an effective presenter countdown timer for live events.”

Aaron Griffin / seniorstar.com “Our company puts on a large, multi-room and intricate yearly event that I manage the AV for. To keep things on track, I need an onscreen timer for the speakers and breaks between them keeping everyone in sync. I cannot imagine doing it without the Countdown Kings timer – it has been flawless for us and support was immediate the one time I actually needed it to reinstall a licensed copy on a newer computer. I use the Pro version, and the ability to change tones and colors to match our changing media initiatives has been great. An excellent, solid product that is intuitive, easy to use and just works? Bravo!”

Anders Karlsson / spp.se

“At SPP’s big room planning events we have the need to communicate out timings clearly for various gatherings of certain people at various times. Countdown Timer has been a great help with this as we can keep several countdowns going on simultaneously. We highly recommend this product!”

Jonathan Nishikawa / winnipeglocalseo.ca

“Bravo! A masterpiece achievement of elegance & simplicity, a Triumph of ascetics & efficiency.”

Johan Kristoffersson “I teach students with learning disabilities and the timer is very useful with its simplicity and ability to change color according to pupils preferences. No distracting menus or ads makes this a great timer companion.”

Bilal S. “Brilliant app! Very simple design with really great features like being able to add and subtract time while the timer is running. Having run seminar events for 15+years I wish I had this app sooner. We run the app on a spare old laptop, control it from the back of the room and have it display on a screen in front of the stage for the presenter to see. Highly recommend it.”

Timing App For Mac Crack 2017

Propresenter countdown template. Elisei Dinica “MCT is a simple to use but effective counter. If you really need to impose a limited time frame to a person lost in its words, this is the tool you need.”

Radu “Plain and simple tool that does what it’s supposed to do beautifully. Plus, no installation is required. It’s just what I was looking for.”

Clint Gilliam “Very happy with it. We had meetings for several days and it proved to be very helpful to make shure we were starting on time. I am planning to use it at future meetings.”

Timing App

Tim Finch “We bought this app for a children’s party to time team games using a Macbook and a large monitor. It worked well – dead easy to learn and set up.”

Jimmy de Haas “We use this timer for our Escaperoom, great value for the money! 5 stars timer!”

Have you already purchased the timer and would like to contribute your review? Please contact us and let us know.

Get yours today!

Timing App For Mac Crack Free

Some clients who use our timers

And many more, …

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Bets College Homework Mac App

College isn't all fun and games (unless you want it to be.) Don't sweat it, though. Take a look at these 25 apps — they'll give you a smoother college experience by helping you study smarter, connect with new people and wake up in time for your early lectures.

Jul 06, 2020  BET+ is a premium online streaming service with over 1,000 hours of your favorite Black content from the best Black creators. Now, you can stream Black culture: the movies you remember, the TV shows you love and the new series you can't live without. And they're all in one place, commercial free. Everything from classics like Martin and House of Payne to modern favorites like Bigger and Carl. The best part about this app is that the students can opt for one-on-one interaction with a tutor and clear their doubts instantly. Download: iOS. Student Agenda. This homework app offers a free planner and diary that is designed by the students for an uncluttered usage.

Your university probably has its own app, too — download it. It will provide you with a more tailored breakdown than a national application.

See also: 12 Things Students Should Never Do on Social Media

Any helpful ones we missed? Let us know in the comments!

1. BenchPrep

Image: BenchPrep

BenchPrep is an interactive course library with all the graduate and professional exam study material you can handle. It includes hundreds of practice questions, flashcards, in-app purchases and almost 600 study lessons. Go ahead and pick your poison: LSAT, MCAT, GMAT.

Available for free on iOS and Android devices.

2. iStudiez Pro

Image: iStudentPro

iStudiezPro keeps track of your deadlines, grades and more across all Mac devices — all you need to do is plug your class schedule into the app. It comes with both Cloud syncing and iCal integration.

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Available for $2.99 for iOS. The free iStudiez Lite version limits the number of classes you manage, but it's useful nonetheless.

3. Evernote

You've probably heard a lot about Evernote, and yes, you should try it. What have you got to lose .. your homework? The app syncs all your stuff — text, audio, photo, video — to an online account, so you're always connected with resources to study.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by Evernote's many features, check out this comprehensive beginner's guide.

Available for broke college students (read: free) for iOS and Android devices. The premium version is even more useful, at $5 a month or $45 a year.

4. StudyBlue Flashcards

Flashcards are an effective way to memorize information, but making them is a headache. With StudyBlue, use text, pictures and audio to create the perfect stack of (digital) flashcards; or, search the massive database to borrow someone else's.

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Available for iOS and Android devices.

5. RealCalc Scientific Calculator

Did your little brother steal your calculator once you finished AP physics? Use RealCalc for serious computing — it's a perfect alternative for the calculator-less.

Available for free for Android. If you need a heavy-duty upgrade, try RealCalc Plus for $3.49.

6. Engineering Professional

More than 650 chemical, civil, electrical, environmental, hydrology and mechanical formulas are updated in Engineering Pro — so don't worry about buying multiple formula apps. Save or Favorite the formulas you need most often.

Available for $11.99 for iOS.

7. EasyBib

Image: EasyBib

EasyBib generates citations in MLA, APA and Chicago style wherever you are — just scan the book's bar code or enter the title. The app also lets you easily email and export the bibliographies to yourself. Using this, you have no excuses for putting off that term paper.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

8. Notella

Image: Notella

Some professors drop the most important bombs when you least expect it ('Have a good spring break, everyone. Oh! One more thing: We're having an exam worth 60% of your final grade the day you get back. See ya!').

Don't miss a thing with Notesdeck. This super-fast note-taking app opens to a new note by default, lets you create custom hotkeys and syncs notes from other apps — iCloud, Evernote, Simplenote and Dropbox. You can even search within those other apps from one search bar.

Mac map mouse button app download. Feb 06, 2007  Question: Q: Mouse Button Mapping More Less. Apple Footer. This site contains user submitted content, comments and opinions and is for informational purposes only. Apple may provide or recommend responses as a possible solution based on the information provided; every potential issue may involve several factors not detailed in the conversations. May 28, 2012  ‎Joystick Mapper is an application that allows you to configure your joysticks or gamepads to simulate keyboard keys/mouse movement/mouse click/mouse scroll, so you can control any app or game using them, even the ones without built-in support. It also lets you remap the Scroll Wheel Button to some useful functions like Mission Control and it features a refined Smooth-Scrolling algorithm, which I think strikes a great balance between fluidity and control. Mac Mouse Fix is very light on system resources and it's a System Preferences Plugin so there's no status bar item. X-Mouse Button Control by Phillip Gibbons (Highresolution Enterprises) is a free application that can help you customize the functionality of your mouse buttons (set new functions to mouse buttons). Sadly, there is no version of X-Mouse Button Control for Mac available for download, but there are other tools that can help you change the.

Available for $2.99 for iOS.

9. Wolfram Alpha

From thermodynamics to baseball, the Wolfram Alpha reference app uses its supercomputing Cloud to quickly generate answers — across thousands of domains — to all your research questions.

Available for $2.99 for iOS and Android devices.

10. Dictionary.com Mobile

With more than two million definitions, synonyms and antonyms, Dictionary.com's fast and user-friendly mobile app will decode that confusing media law textbook in no time.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

11. Babylon

Whether you're a Spanish lit major or just looking to finish your general education requirements, Babylon provides comprehensive dictionary results and translations for dozens of languages. With pasteboard integration and access to more than 1,500 glossaries in 75 languages, you'll never struggle to find an accurate definition for your foreign language presentation again.

iBabylon is available for free for iOS; Babylon Translator is available for free for Android.

12. Jumpcut

You have better things to do than copy and paste all day. Make light work of data entry assignments with Jumpcut: copy as much text as you want, one after another, and paste using simple keystrokes.

Available for Macs only.

13. Dragon Dictation

Ever wish you could type faster? Dragon Dictation uses accurate voice recognition software to let you speak and instantly see your words in text. Dictate statuses to your social networks or pretend you're talking to someone if you're trying to write a speech — even send statuses straight to your social networks. Try this if you're in a time crunch and really need to churn out an essay; or, if you're just someone who prefers speaking over writing.

Available for free for iOS.

14. SelfControl

Image: Flickr, jonas maaloe

It's finals week. You have a huge essay to finish .. but then there's Reddit, emitting its bewitching siren call. Every. Damn. Time.

SelfControl lets you set a period of time to block certain websites or mail servers by adding them to a 'blacklist.' It's too bad if you finish your work early — restarting your computer or deleting the application won't negate the timer.

Available for free for Mac OS X.

15. Studious

Avoid interrupting class and getting on your professor's bad side with Studious. Once you input your class schedule, Studious will silence your phone during those hours.

Available for free for Android. Upgrade to Studious+ for $1.99 to bypass the ads.

16. Circle of 6

Ever feel uncomfortable when it's dark and you're in a new part of a city — or even campus? Circle of 6 won the White House's Apps Against Abuse challenge. It helps you stay safe by connecting you to six trusted contacts, whenever and wherever. Use the pre-programmed 'come and get me' message with your GPS location, or easily call national and local emergency hotlines in critical situations. It's a fast and discreet way to put your safety first.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

Addendum: You don't actually need six people if you want to double up on contacts.

17. Skype

Image: Skype

Hi!The last days I've noticed how every time I start Safari everything freezes (finder included) for a couple minutes. Macos bitcoin miner in mrt.app. Then I can write something in the search bar, and then it freezes another time!

Video interviews are not going away any time soon — so you might as well get a heads up now. Microsoft's Skype is a reliable way to connect with faraway family and friends via text, voice and — of course — video.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

18. LinkedIn

LinkedIn and all its nifty mobile features makes connections a breeze — for better or worse, college is a time of both personal and professional connections.

Available on the web, of course, but also for free for iOS and Android devices.

19. Twitter

Don't be the only person in class who isn't up-to-date with world events. Use Twitter to keep yourself in the loop in both the academic and social aspects of your life. In today's contemporary classrooms, you may even be asked to participate in class discussions via Twitter.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

20. Sworkit

There are a lot of things to do in college. Exercising isn't always one of them; especially when there's socializing and studying to be had. Sworkit's greatest asset is its ability to let you choose your exercise time allotment in five-minute increments — starting at, yes, the very low threshold of five minutes. Doable, right?

It also boasts an extensive list of work out routines.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices. Sworkit Pro comes with advanced features and costs $0.99 for iOS and Android.

See also: 10 YouTube Channels That Will Make You Smarter

21. Mint

Club fees. Books. Tuition. Food. College adds up — quickly. Mint is a web and mobile app that helps you keep track of your spending. Plus, it's never too early to start cultivating good credit.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

22. Sleep If U Can Alarm

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Come on, you lazy bum — you're paying for these early classes, remember? Nicknamed the 'world's most annoying alarm,' Sleep If U Can gives you two options to silent the alarm: 1) Shake your phone; or 2) Physically go the place shown on your screen (see: the bathroom sink in the video) and take a picture.

Available for $1.99 for iOS and free for Android.

23. Pocket First Aid & CPR

Mashable composite, images: Pocket First Aid & CPR

While it's not the sexiest app to have at your disposable, you never know when it might come in handy. Along with clear and concise CPR instructions, Pocket First Aid and CPR contains 34 videos and 46 high-resolution illustrations.

Available for $1.99 for iOS and Android devices.

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24. Between

Attempting the long-distance relationship course? Kudos — that's no small task. Relationship app Between can help ease the separation anxiety by letting you send messages, voicemails, memos and photos. A private timeline makes it easy to reminisce about the good old days with your significant other(s).

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

25. TED

Image: TED

In an environment often congested with bad influences, a heavy dose of genius goes a long way. TED Talks give you instant access to the biggest thought leaders of our time.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

Image: Mashable, Meghan Uno

Whether you're taking the first step towards school or passing out of the college, your life can be a total mess including assignments, surprise tests, homework, examinations, attendance and so on. All you do is wake up early, go to school and come back. That becomes your routine cutting out the quality time to spend with your family and friends. How disheartening is that? With such a busy schedule and a massive number of deadlines to fulfill, it becomes quite challenging to keep track of homework or anything that has to be submitted on the next day. In such circumstances, a homework planner or organizer could be reliable to oversee and update you regarding the assignments, homework and other deadlines. Of course, it's a daunting task to look out for a suitable homework planner who can assist you with your regular tasks.

Top 5 Homework Planner Apps for College Students

Because it is a tedious job, we have come up with the best homework planner apps for students that will help them to do their tasks without any hassle:

1. School Planner

School planner is a full-scale homework planner app that is designed mainly to pay attention to students so that they are well focussed about their career. This app has a pile of features ranging from simple features to ones that you can think of. Besides your homework and timetable, school planner app assists you to keep track of your attendance. You can also add your teachers' contacts on the list, combine recorded lectures which could be beneficial during exams and add multiple planners too. Initially, it is a tedious job to use this app as you have to enter all your details in a form. In addition to your details, you must enter your teacher's details, timetable, and other college details. But once that's done, you're good to go! The app also supports backing up all the data that you feed in via Google drive, calendar, etc. This app does not fail to give you weekly reports, give reminders on the day of submission of assignments, attach snapshots to any reminders. Although the school planner offers a lot of features, it has the best performance with a beautiful framework. In case of your research paper you can use Edusson at affordable pricing.

2. Istudiez pro

Istudiez pro is yet another student-friendly homework planner app and probably the oldest app when compared to all of the mentioned apps. Like school planner, this app also offers a wide range of features including grading, attendance and subject wise organization of activities. It is way easier to set up when compared to a school planner. But the prominent feature in studies pro is that it is integrated with Google Calendar which gives you all the details like holidays, exam schedule, daily routine and so on. Not just that, it is also supported in all operating platforms like iOS, Mac, and windows. All the apps sync well and therefore you can operate this homework planner anywhere anytime on your laptop.

3. My study life

The next homework planner app for college students is My Study Life. The best thing about this app is that it has its web app which makes it unique. The web app can sync well(mostly on Android) therefore making your data accessible from any remote location using your device. Make sure that you've got a web browser installed in your device. This is a goal-oriented app and keeps reminding you about how much is completed and how much is left to achieve the goal. In addition to that, the calendar feature keeps track of all the important dates, it could be deadlines or project submission dates. The only con of my study life is that it is quite lengthy to set up. Once it is correctly done, you're all set!

4. ChalkBoard

One of the smartest homework planner app for students is a chalkboard. It is pretty quick regarding its features and subject wise allocation of teachers on the app. When you open it for the first time, it prompts you to fill the name and subjects of all your teachers along with the timetable. Cool, isn't it? Although the setup process is a tedious job, it is entirely reliable and smooth. The amazing part is you don't have to memorize your timetable as you can see the upcoming classes on the home screen. Not just that, you can also find pending assignments and other tasks on the screen making your job way too easy. Features like these make this app stand out when compared to other homework organizer apps and gives you a great overall experience. This homework planner app would have been much more superior if it had a calendar feature in it.

5. Egenda

It's quite easy to set up Egenda when compared to others. All you need to do is, add the subjects and classes that you have. Once that is done, you have the choice of adding any homework, deadline, project or test. The pending tasks can be seen in the form of cards and have to be swiped away once it's completed. The best part about this homework planner app is that it keeps you updated, could be regarding the upcoming assignments, tasks or competitions. This will help you plan ahead and complete the job on time. Unfortunately, the app doesn't have a timetable feature. But in its latest update, you will find a calendar that can assist you in keeping track of dates. Backup option not available in this app, therefore data can't be recovered once you lose it.

Final Words

So these were some of the coolest homework planner apps exclusively for career-oriented students who want their tasks to be completed on time and who do not wish to struggle till the last minute to meet the goal. We genuinely understand your problem and these apps are going to be of great use to you!