#if i ever get to have the app i want to make a jack army

[italoniponic]

my man's pack is just establishing their dominance

Jack Howl really fighting with the lid of a garbage can

[pinknatural]

On Monday night, Cas kneels beside the bed and folds his hands, dipping his forehead against the blankets and closing his eyes, lips moving soundlessly. Dean sits on the bed, still as a statue, and watches him, afraid to move. 

When Cas straightens his head and uncurls, standing up, his eyes are wet with tears. Dean reaches for him and Cas falls onto the bed, presses his face into Dean’s neck, sobs silently. Dean holds him close, one hand cradling his head and the other rubbing his back, and he stares at their ceiling. 

Dear Jack, or God, or whoever, he prays. Please come back. Please come home. We miss you. 

On Tuesday morning, Dean untangles himself from Cas gently and brushes the hair from his forehead, presses a kiss to the uncovered skin. He gets out of bed and tiptoes out the door. He’ll get Cas some coffee. It’s the least he can do.

Dean’s chest feels tangled in knots, misery weighing heavily on him. All Dean can think about are his mistakes, all the ways he’s screwed up his kid. All the ways he’s done what he swore he’d never do, three nights after Sam left for Stanford, when he was curled up in a motel bathtub, hiding from his own father. 

But today’s not about Dean, or his guilt, or his pain. It’s about Cas, and it’s about Jack. 

Dean creeps down the stairs, holding the ends of the dead guy robe up so he doesn’t slip. He drops the fabric once he reaches the hardwood floor down below, and he heads for the kitchen. 

Something rattles, and he freezes.

There’s a knife tucked into the leather jacket hanging by the front door, and Dean slides his hand into the pocket, curls his fingers around the hilt. He glides on socked feet towards the kitchen, hoping it’s just Claire--but Claire never wakes up this early. 

From the kitchen, something clatters and falls. It sounds like bowls falling, and Dean takes bigger steps, readying his knife. When he turns the corner into the kitchen, though, it’s not a shitty robber or a demon or Claire or anything else Dean thought it might be. 

A chair from the kitchen table was dragged across the room, pushed up against the cabinets. The cabinet with the bowls is both open and empty, and the plastic bowls are scattered against the counter and floor. On top of the kitchen chair is a little boy--three or four, with blonde-brown hair and wide blue eyes. His little arms are reached out to the fallen bowls, as if he tried and failed to stop them from falling. He freezes and blinks at Dean, who stares back at him. 

“Dean!” the boy cries, and he jumps off the chair and runs full-tilt at Dean, wrapping his little arms around Dean’s leg and burying his face in Dean’s gut. Dean startles and crouches down, disrupting the kid’s hold. 

“Hey,” he says gently, unwilling to scare the kid. The little boy is beaming, a bright smile, little baby teeth lined up and gleaming. He has a smattering of freckles across his nose, and he’s wearing a pair of pink dinosaur pajama pants, with a slightly oversized Led Zeppelin t-shirt. His socks say DADDY’S LIL ANGEL on the top of his feet. Dean surveys the boy’s face again. “Jack?” he asks eventually, unsure who else it would be, and maybe a little too hopeful to be thinking straight. 

“Yes!” the boy--Jack, apparently--says, flinging his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean hugs him back, confused, and inhales. He smells like the strawberry shampoo he used at the Bunker. 

“Hey, buddy,” Dean says, and he stands, his back protesting at the crouch, pulling the little boy up with him. “How are you here? Why are you little?”

“I was all done!” Jack says proudly, spreading his arms out wide and nearly smacking Dean in the face. 

“All done?”

“All done!” Jack confirms. “I was soooo tired. So I came home! And now I want cereal.”

He wiggles in Dean’s arms, trying to get down. Dean yields, and Jack runs to the fallen bowls, picking up Claire’s favorite purple one. Dean watches, astounded, as Jack opens the cabinet but can’t reach the cereal. He follows and reaches for it, puts it on the counter. 

Jack is here. Jack is home. Jack is his actual age. Dean wonders if he has powers, then he decides it doesn’t matter. If he does, they can deal with that later. 

“Hey, Jack,” Dean says. “Come here.” 

Jack runs up to him, still clutching his bowl. He lifts his arms obediently, and Dean picks him up, gently takes the bowl from his hand and puts it on the counter. 

“You’re home?” Dean asks. “For good? This isn’t a dream?”

“I’m home!” Jack says, kicking his legs. “For ever and ever.” His eyes go wide and uncertain. “You said I could.”

“Yeah, buddy,” Dean says, a lump in his throat. “Of course I did.” He cups the back of Jack’s head and brings their foreheads together, wills away his tears. “Come on, you can have cereal in a little bit.” 

He turns away from the mess in his kitchen and towards the stairs. “How did you know we wouldn’t be at the Bunker?”

“I wanted to come home,” Jack says. “Not the Bunker.”

Dean blinks rapidly. Jack pokes the picture of his older self as they pass it on the stairwell. Dean stops at the top of the stairs, turns his head to the left to look at Claire’s bedroom, the door shut tight. 

“Shh,” Dean says, and Jack nods solemnly. 

“Shh,” he repeats. 

Dean turns his head to the right, to look at the door across from Claire’s. It’s shut, too, out of respect. They’ll go there later, Dean decides. They’ll see if Jack likes the decorations Cas put up, or if they’ll have to go to the store and change it. Dean will be thrilled either way. 

He keeps walking. His bedroom is at the end of the hall, past Claire’s bathroom, and Dean pushes open the door gently. 

“Okay,” he whispers to Jack. “You can jump, but only if you’re very careful.”

“Okay,” Jack whispers back, and Dean dumps him onto the bed. Jack stands and walks the three steps it takes to get him to the middle of the bed. He falls to his knees and pokes at Cas’s chest, then bounces on the mattress beside him. “Daddy, wake up.”

Dean’s heart melts, and Jack pokes at Cas’s cheek, then his nose. Cas doesn’t wake up, and Jack crawls on top of him. 

“Dadddyyyy,” he says. Cas startles, then blinks awake, bleary. Dean watches his eyes slit open, confused, and the blue eyes focus on the little boy sitting on his chest. Then Cas shoots upright, hands on Jack’s shoulders. 

He looks at Dean, who nods, then he looks back at Jack.

“Jack?” he whispers. 

“Daddy!” Jack says happily, then Cas squishes him to his chest, curling over him. 

“Jack,” he breathes. “Oh, you came back.”

“Yep!” Jack says, voice muffled, and Dean sits down, crawls onto the bed. 

“Apparently he was all done,” Dean says. 

“Yep!” Jack says again. “Auntie Amara said it was time to go home.”

“Of course it was,” Cas says, his voice fragile, and he rocks back and forth, holding Jack to his chest. He looks up at Dean, eyes wet, and Dean hugs him. 

They stay like that for a long moment, Jack pressed between them, clutching onto Cas’s shirt with tiny fingers. Dean exhales shakily and presses his forehead to Cas’s, then he remembers something. 

“Hey buddy,” he says. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Ummm,” Jack says. “Tuesday?”

“No, baby,” Cas says, sniffing. 

“No, it’s Tuesday,” Jack argues.

“Of course it is,” Dean says. “But do you know what else it is?”

“No,” Jack says. 

“It’s your birthday,” Dean says. “You’re four now.”

“Wow,” Jack says. He wiggles in excitement. “Does that mean we can have cake?”

“Of course we can,” Cas says, making a noise that sounds like a sob and a laugh at the same time. 

“And a biiiiiiggg party?” Jack asks. 

“The biggest,” Dean promises. 

“With Uncle Sammy?” Jack asks. Dean doesn’t know where he picked up “Uncle Sammy”, but he hopes Jack calls him that forever. 

“Of course,” Dean says. “I’ll call him in a few minutes. We’ll call everyone.”

“Everyone?” Jack asks. 

“Everyone,” Dean says. 

“Even Kaia?”

“Especially Kaia,” Dean says. He looks at Cas, realizing that he’s not the only person living in this house, but Cas doesn’t seem like he’s about to argue. In fact, he’s making his calculations face--probably wondering who to invite, who can get here on time and so last minute. 

Dean realizes, suddenly, that Claire and Jack have never met. They’ll have to remedy that. 

They can, now. 

They can do anything, Dean realizes, as they get out of bed and Cas says something about no baby clothes and Jack protests that he’s not a baby, as they tiptoe past Claire’s room to retrieve the promised cereal. Dean unlocks his phone on autopilot, opening the phone app and turning to the favorites tab. When Dean was four, his family was destroyed. 

Claire comes downstairs, Miracle in tow, and she shakes Jack’s hand solemnly. Sam screams over the phone. Rowena shows up in half an hour with a closet full of clothes fit for a four year old. Eileen and Sam bring balloons and streamers. 

Cas is alive, Dean thinks while he mixes the cake. Sam is hanging up streamers across the room. Jody and the girls bustle in with enough food to feed an army. Claire lets Jack climb on her, looking a bit frightened and a bit resigned. Kaia helps Jack put on a tutu over his jeans. Dean slides the cake into the oven, and watches Eileen teach Alex how to sign happy birthday. 

Jack is here now. He’s here and he’s four, and Dean’s family was destroyed when he was four, and now his son is four years old. 

“Our family’s all together,” Dean whispers into Cas’s ear. Cas kisses him briefly. Dean had tried to keep track of their kisses, at first, but he’s lost count. 

“Yes,” Cas says, eyes bright. “They are.”

(ao3)

[softbiker]

A Familiar Place - Part 1

A recovery story - this series follows some events in the first year of Bucky’s life back stateside, and his small adventures while learning to come home to himself. This is not an “x Reader” or romance story.

Warnings: some language, probably sloppy editing

A/N: I’m posting the first part of this story to celebrate hitting 100 followers this weekend! Thank you so much everyone! I’m having a blast with this writing blog. This story probably won’t be updated as fast as Born to Run since I don’t have it all written out yet, but I still wanted to post it. Tagging @bitsandbobsandstuff since she answered my question about Steve’s coffee order :) As always, let me know what you think and if you like it!

There’s a stack of books next to his bed that need to go back to the library. Probably overdue, he thinks, and he hasn’t read a single page. He feels a little guilty for it as he stares at their spines, blinking slow and sleepy.

A knock at the door.

“Hey man, you ready?” Sam pokes his head in, eyebrows up and expectant.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky nods. Finishes lacing his sneakers. Grabs a baseball cap from the doorknob on his way.

Steve is waiting by the front door, rolling his shoulders underneath a (frankly ridiculous) tight blue shirt. The corner of his mouth quirks up when he turns.

“Mornin’, Buck.”

“Morning.”

“He’s so damn chipper in the mornings,” Sam grins, slapping Bucky’s shoulder. “I feel perky just standing next to you, Tin Man.”

Bucky narrows his eyes but says nothing, just watches Steve shake his head like a fond mother. He knew by now that their animosity was mostly a pretense.

“Ready to go?” the Captain asks, rubbing his hands together, eager and alert despite the bags under his own eyes. Bucky suspects that Steve stays up to see if he needs him, listening for the sounds of his nightmares. He feels a little guilty for that, too.

They do a quick warm up outside, some leg swings and lunges and jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. It’s mostly for Sam - Bucky doesn’t know if it’s possible for him or Steve to pull a muscle, but it definitely won’t be on their morning runs. But they do the routine together anyways, the three of them, their breaths puffing in the spring morning air.

It’s only a couple of miles from their place to Prospect Park, and Bucky and Steve jog at a reasonable pace for Sam’s sake. The conversation is easy between them now - Sam’s date last week with the nurse from the medical wing, Steve’s painting class, Bucky’s therapy sessions. He’s noncommittal on any specifics, but he admits that he thinks they help. And that’s enough - Sam and Steve don’t press him, happy to have him out and moving and living under a sunrise. They take a few laps through the curving paths of the park, nodding to other early morning runners.

About 6 miles in, Bucky yawns.

“Are we gonna actually run today, Rogers, or are we letting the flightless bird set the pace?”

Steve cocks an eyebrow and glances to his left at Sam, the only member of their trio with a collection of sweat on his chest and under his arms and little beads of it running down his face.

“If you think you can keep up, jerk.”

Sam is left behind somewhere around the lake, yelling something about not being afraid to “beat senior citizen ass.”

Here’s the thing about being a super soldier: it doesn’t feel that crazy most of the time. Bucky knows he’s not straining when he moves an entire rack of weights in the gym, or lifts the back end of a car to help put a jack under it. Tony rented out batting cages for the team one time, and he broke the bat on the first swing, simultaneously popping the stitches on the ball. He plays this little game sometimes where he tries to balance as much weight as he can on his index finger - he’s managed 40 pounds so far on his human hand.

But none of that feels special when he does it. Being strong is just a fact about him. It doesn’t make him feel superhuman. “Enhanced”.

Running, though.

When he and Steve go for runs, legs stretching forward and pavement barely felt as it flows beneath their feet, the world feels different. Slower. They dart around the joggers and strollers in their path, and Bucky watches them slip behind him in slow motion. They propel their bodies like bullets, their cadence the rapidfire staccato of a machine gun. The trees ebb and grow in cresting waves of green as the soldiers fly past.

Flying, Bucky thinks. That’s how he feels now.

Steve is a half beat ahead of him, and his head turns in profile, eyes cutting to find Bucky’s. The corner of his lip twitches.

“Tired yet?”

“Not on your life, punk.”

Steve laughs as he nearly doubles their pace, legs a blur to the eyes of everyone they pass. Bucky follows, gripping the bill of his cap as it threatens to fly up at their speed. He shifts it around backwards, the way he sees Sam wear his sometimes. They turn up the periphery of the park to the northeast, chasing the half-risen sun, now above the buildings and trees around them. Bucky can see the shape of the public library as they pass by, the bronze gate gleaming in the morning light. Some of his old gear, Army stuff and boxing gloves and pictures of him and Steve sitting on the hood of a jeep in France, had been on display with their historical collection when he got here - got home - a few months ago. Sam showed him when they went there; Bucky had leaned close, tried to recognize that kid under the glass.

The supersoldiers put in about 20 miles before they decide to find Sam, now that they’ve finally broken a sweat. Cutting across the grass, they slow their pace to human level and look for their friend. Sam is still by the lake, stretching in the grass while laughing with a girl with a long braided ponytail and crazy tight workout clothes. Bucky and Steve share a look as they jog across the lawn, but act polite when the starstruck girl realizes who Sam’s running buddies are.

After taking a couple selfies with them, the girl jogs off to get ready for work, ponytail swinging behind her. Steve raises an eyebrow in Sam’s direction.

“So, what about that nurse?”

Sam gives him the finger.

***************************************************************************************

“Look man, all I’m saying is, you could give it a shot,” Sam shrugs, sipping from his to-go cappuccino. “I mean, who knows, there’s probably plenty of ladies out there who are into this whole thing.” He waves the coffee cup to gesture to Bucky’s entire body.

Bucky frowns. “I have a thing?”

“Sure, you know the brooding, emotionally tortured, dark past kinda thing.” Sam slaps his shoulder. “Lean into it, chicks dig that.”

Bucky nearly chokes on his own drink as he glares at Sam. Steve hides his smile behind his complete monstrosity of a drink. A limited edition something, the clear cup holds 20 ounces of frozen tie-dye, swirling in red, blue, and yellow, and topped with a mountain of whipped cream. Steve Rogers, ever the little shit, had ordered this drink with a straight face, and now slurps loudly on his straw, while taking breaks to run his finger through the whipped cream. Bucky can see the name “Cap” scrawled in neat sharpie on the side of the cup, with a star drawn next to it.

“I’m not interested, okay,” Bucky shrugs, dodging a piece of gum on the sidewalk. They had gotten coffee on their walk back to the brownstone, and were discussing a topic that now made Bucky’s skin crawl with discomfort - women.

“Hey, you don’t have to be looking for a wife,” Sam goes on. “But it wouldn’t hurt you to download an app or two. Tinder. Bumble. Something.”

“Aw, lay off him, Sam,” Steve finally speaks up, shaking his head. “Bucky’s not ready. Maybe he’ll feel like it when he’s back to his old lady killer self.”

Bucky cringes at the phrase, at the half-formed memories it conjures. A swaggering Brooklyn kid who spent far too much time combing his hair and winking at pretty girls. He remembers tucking flowers into the lapel of his suit jacket, spending hours shining his shoes, just to spend a night dancing with some pretty girl he’d never see again. He could barely bring himself to talk to strangers anymore, let alone ask one on a date.

“Shut up, Rogers,” he mumbles into his coffee. “That Bucky is dead and buried.”

He doesn’t have to look to know that Steve’s face has that stricken grimace he pulls whenever Bucky says something dark and self-deprecating. He wishes he could say those things without making Steve feel guilty, cause now he feels guilty…

“I didn’t mean anything by it, Buck…”

“I know, I know,” Bucky waves him off. “Just quit tryin’ to set me up, both of you. Let an old man rest, will you? Jeez…”

His little joke is enough to put Steve and Sam at ease again, and the conversation turns to Steve’s equally lackluster love life until they reach their place and shuffle up the front steps. Ivy creeps and climbs up the walls for this entire block of buildings, and Bucky wonders if someone planted it there. He likes the lush green of it, especially in the morning.

The 3 of them part ways to hit the showers. In his room again, Bucky’s eye is drawn back to his sad little pile of books.

Sam is smart. An asshole, yes, but smart. Which is why his book choices tend to include biographies, history, political topics - the stack on the nightstand includes only one novel, a recent bestseller about a retired veteran adopting a dog. Bucky remembers reading, being a reader - he remembers bringing home books from school or trading them at the bookstore or receiving them as gifts from Steve. But not those kinds of books. Nothing boring. Nothing to remind him of the uncertain, hard world he lived in.

He stares at the spines of Sam’s books for a few more moments, then hurries through the shower, his mind made up.

***************************************************************************************

“Um, excuse me,” he clears his throat at the front desk. “I need to return these, but, uh. I think - well, they’re overdue.”

Bucky tries a smile at the clerk, a middle-aged woman with a short-cropped haircut, but he can feel how unnatural it looks on his face. The clerk raises an eyebrow at him - he realizes he should have waited a bit before coming here; the tips of his hair are still wet, tiny wet spots coloring the shoulders on his hoodie.

“Well, let’s scan them and see,” she sighs, pulling his books across the desk. Bucky shifts, his hands curling and uncurling in his front pockets. The old Bucky could probably charm his way out of the fine, but this one? Not a chance in hell, Barnes. The librarian grabs the first book and scans the barcode taped to the plastic jacket.

His books are 13 days overdue - costing him a grand total of $5.20. He thinks of Steve’s now expensive coffee habit as he hands over the bill and change. There goes one of his frozen sugar nightmares.

With his fine taken care of, Bucky wanders his way through the fiction section, his eyes passing over names and titles without catching on anything. Sam’s books weren’t his taste. But he doesn’t even remember his own taste. Gloved fingers drift over the shelves, tapping on the wood.

“Can I help you find something?”

Bucky is embarrassed to be so startled - his head jerks around to see the old man standing there, a warm smile on his face. His shoulders are stooped a little, hands clasped behind his back as he tilts his head up to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“No...well, I don’t know,” Bucky huffs. “I don’t really know what I’m looking for.”

“Oh, I see,” the man nods. The crooked name tag on his striped shirt reads ‘Marvin’. “Would you like some recommendations, then?”

Bucky hesitates, quirking the corner of his mouth down.

“I guess so,” he nods. “I like...fiction. But I haven’t really read anything in a long time.”

Marvin nods quietly, pursing his lips. His eyes pass over the shelves behind his coke bottle glasses, tapping a finger to his chin.

“Follow me,” he shuffles down the aisle, waving a hand behind him. Bucky obeys, turning the corner onto the next set of author’s names. Marvin’s mouth moves silently as he walks along, searching and searching.

“Aha! Here we go.” He reaches up to a shelf at eye level, taking a book and showing Bucky the front cover. “This has been a classic since it was published, really. And the author wrote a trilogy that followed. It’s fantasy, maybe that’s your thing?”

“I...I’m trying new things,” Bucky decides, clearing his throat as he takes the book, admiring the pastoral scene on the cover. “Um, you said he wrote other books?”

Marvin smiles and turns back to the shelf, reaching for the adjacent books.

******************************************************************************************

Bucky’s backpack makes a ‘thunk’ sound as he drops it next to his bed, closing the door with his foot. He had loaned all four books that Marvin suggested, eager as he read their inside covers. Maybe he and Steve and Sam could watch the movie adaptations sometime, on one of their pizza nights. He had always opted out of choosing a movie, so overwhelmed by the options and apathetic to Sam’s DVD library. But maybe he would suggest it to Steve next time. Steve would like that.

He toes off his sneakers, shuffling back and messing up the comforter on his perfectly made bed. When he first moved in, he thought the room was furnished with way too many pillows - who needs more than one pillow? Now he fluffs the three behind his back and props himself up against the headboard, leaning over to slip the first book out of his backpack. He settles back on his bed, folds back the cover to the first chapter.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”

Tags

@vacant-writings

[toloveawarlord]

Behind the Times (Ch.1)

You can find my Masterlist in my bio!

“Where is it? Come on!” Aspen muttered, checking under yet another rosebush for her lost item. Her day had ended on a strange and painful note, all because she took a detour through St. James Park instead of her usual route home. A night patrolman had spooked her, and she strayed off the beaten path to avoid detection. Jail time was not on her agenda.

One moment, Aspen had been snaking around a large Oak tree, and the next, the ground bathed in moonlight had fallen out from under her, sending her spiraling down a seemingly endless void. A rosebush broke her not so graceful fall. Even after crawling out, thorns still stuck into her skin, in places she could not reach on her own.

There!

The item she desired rested safely beneath the twisted branches of the bush. Her sigh of relief caught in her throat as the glint of metal next to her neck caught her eye. Aspen craned her head around and followed the length of the sword up to its owner.

The man’s intense gaze nearly stopped her heart. “Citizens are not permitted in the garden. State your name and intention,” he demanded. His crisp white uniform had to be a military one, but none like she had ever seen. Narrowing his amber eyes at her hesitation, he pressed the cold blade against her neck, a silent warning.

Aspen gulped. He definitely meant business. “Aspen Lancaster, and currently trying to reach my cell phone.” Was he a cosplayer? Just messing with her? The sword looks real. So real that she couldn’t bring herself to ask him on the off chance that he decided to murder her for talking back.

“Your what? How did you get in here? This is for military officers only, and high-ranking ones at that.”

Aspen tilted her head to the side, away from the blade. “I have no idea where here is so—”

“Is this what you’ve lost?” A second man interrupted, wearing a slightly different, but ultimately from the same group, uniform. In his hand was her phone, no cracks in the screen.

“Yeah, actually.” She hadn’t even heard him approach, let alone dig it out from under the bush. The only thing left to find was the satchel that she’d lost in the fall as well.

“Edgar. We have more important matters. I’ll only ask once more. How did you get in here?” He asked, straightening the sword in her direction once again. It was unheard of for anyone to enter the garden, especially when the two armies had only concluded their meeting a mere half hour ago.

Aspen glanced down at the blade. “I took a thousand-meter fall into a rosebush. It’s a wonder I’m not dead. Can you stop pointing that at me?” She asked. Real or not, it was sharp and threatening enough to keep her immobile.

“You expect us to believe that?”

Edgar raised his gaze from the device back to her. “Now, Jonah, let’s be civil about this. I don’t know many who would throw themselves into an actual rosebush for a simple lie.” He took her hand to help her stand, steadying her before asking, “What is this device?”

Aspen glanced between the two officers. “You don’t know what a cell phone is?” She started to laugh, softly and forced, but their confusion cut it off. They had to be cosplayers, and damn good ones at that, not breaking character even once.

“You’re very strange,” Jonah said, returning his sword to its sheath. He had no intentions of letting her leave but deemed her unthreatening enough to put his weapon away.

“You’re the one carrying swords,” she retorted. Staring at them a moment longer, Aspen decided to play along, explaining the phone as best she could. “It does a lot of things. Smartphones are crazy cool. It has thousands of apps you can download. It can play music, take pictures…” She trailed off, watching the confusion spread deep across their features. “You really don’t know, do you? Are you some kind of anti-tech groupies?” Heathens. Who doesn’t like technology? It’s so convenient. Jokingly, she muttered, “What century is it?”

Jonah answered with his scowl deepening, “The 19th.”

“Huh?” Aspen blinked. He wasn’t actually supposed to answer… or answer with an absurd century that wasn’t her own. He sure looked serious though. “What the fuck is going on?”

“A lady shouldn’t use such language if she wants to find a suitor,” Jonah chastised. His eyes raked over her, a hint of blush on his cheeks. He hadn’t noticed her strange attire until now. The amount of skin that she was showing made him quite uncomfortable. Her top must have shrunk, covering only half of her torso, and he couldn’t figure out what kind of undergarment she wore that loosely hung around her hips and fell to the tops of her thighs.

Aspen nearly stumbled back when Jonah thrust his jacket at her, demanding her to wear it. “But why-”

“How indecent,” Jonah muttered, the heat still present on his cheeks. “Have some self-respect.”

“How about you throw out your outdated opinions?” Aspen replied but slid her arms into the jacket none the less. The temperature had dropped, and a cool breeze drew goosebumps across her skin. On her small frame, the jacket was much too large, but very warm. “Though, I guess I’m the outdated one… postdated? Ugh.” She rubbed her stomach, a soft grumble at her words. “What I wouldn’t give for postmate.”

Edgar propositioned her with a tempting offer. “Why don’t you come along with us back to our headquarters, and we’ll treat you to a warm meal. You can tell me more about this smartphone. I’m very interested to learn more.”

“How do I know you two aren’t psychopaths who want to murder me?”

“You have our word, as the Queen and Jack of Hearts. That is plenty reason enough,” Jonah said, an almost crazy amount of pride in his voice.

Aspen tilted her head slightly. “Those titles mean nothing to me.” She couldn’t find any ill-will behind the invitation, and if they were murderers, then they probably would have killed her already. This is a secluded spot. Though, the odds of coming back from a secondary location were slim.

Edgar chuckled lightly, finding her to be the most interesting thing to come to Cradle. “You’ll only get your item returned to you after we’ve had a longer chat. So, I believe it’s in your best interest to cooperate.” His kind tone didn’t match the clear threat underneath.

She couldn’t very well just take the phone back. Her strength equaled that of a toddler. Plus, swords. “Fine, but only because getting a new phone is damn expensive.” Her head turned to scan the garden. “But I also lost my bag-”

“We’ll have someone search for your other things. This way,” He motioned for her to follow after him, leading her out of the building with Jonah close behind.

Aspen stopped so abruptly that Jonah narrowly missed running into her. The streets were lively, even this late at night. Many things had caused her to freeze. Their clothes were old fashioned. Horses were being ridden. Horses were hooked to carriages. The fountain looked to be the only normal piece, save for the large glowing crystal that by all accounts was floating. What fresh hell is this place?

“What’s the matter now?” Jonah asked, drawing all the attention of those around them.

All eyes were on her, whispering and pointing.

This didn’t make any sense. The entire town couldn’t be cosplayers. “What century did you say it was again?” Aspen asked hesitantly, taking a step back only to smack into Jonah. This is impossible. Insane. She had completely lost her mind.

“The 19th. We should have Kyle examine you. You’re beginning to look hysterical, not to mention the cuts and thorns from your self-proclaimed fall,” Jonah said, putting his hands on her shoulders to guide her forward. Only a few paces away, two horses were tied, beautiful saddles adorning their backs.

“Oh hell no,” Aspen muttered. Her escape was effectively blocked with Jonah’s fingers digging into her shoulders to keep her from moving. Edgar had his watchful eye on her as well, as if daring her to try and run. And where would she go? This most certainly wasn’t the London she knew. “Nope. I am not getting on a moving animal. Human kind didn’t destroy the environment and create manual automobiles for me to have to ride a horse.”

“You don’t have a choice. You’ll be riding with me,” Jonah announced. He’d already hoisted her up into the air and placed her on the saddle before she could attempt to get away.

The horse shifted its weight. Aspen clung onto the horn of the saddle, her body slipping backwards. It’s not even moving yet! Her squeal of terror cut short as Edgar steadied her from behind. Saddles are slick.

Edgar couldn’t help the laughter that broke out as he gently pushed her back up. “The more you move, the easier it is to fall off.”

“I didn’t move! The barn animal did!” Aspen shot him a glare over her shoulder.

Jonah mounted the horse behind her, caging her in with his arms as he gripped the reigns. “I’m not going to let you fall, so calm down,” he said. The cool tone of reassurance had her racing heart calming in seconds. “My title may not have meaning for you, but I promise that no harm is going to come to you while you’re a guest at our headquarters.”

Each step the horse took, made her body more tense. “Why do you care?” She asked, casting a suspicious glance up at him. Her hands were tightly gripping the material of his sleeve, afraid to let go.

“I could see how frightened you were when we exited the Garden. However you got there, whatever your intentions might have been, it’s clear that you aren’t familiar with this area.” Jonah stared straight ahead as he spoke softly enough that no one else could hear. “But don’t expect any special treatment from me,” He added swiftly at the end.

He’s very contrary. “You’re actually really nice, aren’t you?”

Jonah turned his nose up, but the hint of pink on his cheeks gave away the truth. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Aspen bit back a laugh. Though still filled with fear and worry, she felt at ease for the first moment since she collided with a rosebush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am in love with Aspen. I wanted to try a less serious fic series with a more humorous element to it. I didn’t have a suitor in mind for her when I started but I’m leaning toward Jonah now.

[entelexcheia]

Continued from - ( x ) | @bows-and-fringes​

Before he knew it, there were several more notifications after he had set the phone down. Jack picked the phone back up, scrolling through to see the message previews... but it seemed that these messages were a bit longer, so he needed to open the app to read through everything Horizon had to say.

He took a moment to read through her messages, though she didn’t seem to be finished just yet. The boy was already taking his sweet old time reading through what she had to say, still trying to let it sink in that they were talking to each other again. There was a lot to take in, but Jack found himself gradually processing everything and was able to respond accordingly...

[ Thanks. I appreciate it. ]

[ I actually do get breaks every now and then. It’s an inconsistent schedule and it usually depends on Wil’s mood too lol but for the most part, it’s just whenever I finish all of my work and if I do a good job while I’m at it. ]

Speaking of work, he did have a few more places to scout out before he’d actually be free for the evening. He had a quota to meet and Wil wouldn’t be satisfied unless he met the bare minimum but of course, Wil being the type of person to have only high expectations, Jack should at least do his part in their little investigation.

[ And yeah, I’ll try keep in touch from here on out. Again, I’m sorry for not reaching out to you. ]

[ I never really was good at establishing or even maintaining these kinds of relationships with people, but I’m glad that we’re still here. ]

[ I’ll be sure to tell Wil that. He’ll remember you; he’s got a good enough memory lol. He’s always busy of course but I do talk to him often so there’s that. ]

[ I’m also glad that Giga and ARMY have been taking care of you. I trust Giga for the most part, but if ARMY gives you any trouble, tell me, okay? I’ll be sure to tell him to stop. ]

As much as Jack wanted to go off on ARMY, he was talking to Horizon, who tried her best to mediate between the boys, especially Jack and ARMY, considering their feud. The last thing Jack wanted was for Horizon to get involved but it seemed unavoidable at this point. The most he could try to do was to mitigate the stress that’d come from dealing with these boys on a regular basis.

But when Horizon brought up a call, even a video call, Jack couldn’t help but feel ever so slightly flustered at the notion. It’s not like he’s any stranger to calling someone after he got his own phone for the sake of convenience but it was weird... 

He almost didn’t know how to just have a casual conversation on the phone to begin with, since most of his contacts were more or less there for the sake of... “professional” matters.

Still, the proposition was appealing, despite his embarrassment. He’d like to talk to Horizon face-to-face, but he’d settle for a phone call or video call being the next best thing considering the distance between them.

[ I don’t mind a call either. If I have the time, we can, I guess. ]

[ If you’re talking about the phone and the camera icons next to my display name then yeah, those are for calls. ]

[ It’s okay though. Don’t be embarrassed. ]

[ I’ll let you know what’s good. Whether or not I can come over or if we can just call or something. ]

Now that he thought about it... he could probably get his tasks done as quickly as possible and just have whatever time remained in the evening to talk to her, as long as she was still awake by then. He wouldn’t contact her beyond midnight, but he felt that he could make it in time before then.

But god, was this even a good idea? He couldn’t help but feel a little anxious, which seemed stupid to him because it’s not like he didn’t know how to talk to someone, especially Horizon, who’s one of the easiest people to talk to for him personally.

No, there was no reason to be anxious. Even if it had been a long time, they were still on amicable terms, so he needed to just approach this normally, casually even. After all, Horizon was his friend and, truth be told, one of the few people (if not the only one) he actually felt comfortable around.

[ Actually, wait, what about a call later tonight? If you’re free, that is. I don’t know how late it’ll be... but I’ll let you know. I have things to take care of so whenever I’m done with them, I’ll text you back, okay? ]

[theladywintersoldier-blog]

Introduction!

Hello, my name is Jenn.

This is a blog about how I changed my life, and about the fictional character that helped me do it.

First, let me start off with some stuff about myself. I’m 34 years old, I live in Washington state about 20 minutes north of Seattle. I’m ex-military, an army cook and truck driver for 6 years, I’m a mother of two girls, I adore animals, and consider myself a nerd.

Now, basically I’m going to tell you the story about how I discovered I was headed down an unhealthy and relatively sad path and decided to change things. I mean this all to be useful, as in, I hope my story, my struggles, and my victories might inspire someone else. That’s a huge goal of mine: to maybe help someone else out there.  That being said, here we go.

Back in January of this year (2018) I attended a work Christmas party. Yes, a Christmas party in January, everyone was too busy to get together in December. Anyway, I had done my hair, bought a new shirt, I thought I was lookin’ good—I was feeling good. But about halfway through the party I went to use the ladies room, where they had a full-length mirror on the wall. I caught a glimpse of myself and was shocked by what I saw. I was a potato. I potato-shaped human, with too much skin and folds and just… extra. I looked unhealthy, I looked unhappy, and worst of all, I was a version of myself that I never thought I would be.

It was devastating.

Now, I always try to be body positive, but I also try and be realistic. I can tell the difference between big and beautiful, and large enough to be unhealthy. Diabetes runs in my family, high blood pressure, heart disease—I’m not a freaking doctor, but I know that being overweight exacerbates all these things. I have two young daughters, who are smart and beautiful and amazing, and I would like to be the best possible role model for them that I can possibly be.

But how was I supposed to be a good role model? I was unhappy, might even go as far as to say I was depressed. I was sluggish and tired all the time, didn’t have the energy to play or go out or anything sometimes. That’s not fair to my kids, that’s not the kind of parent I wanted to be.

So, I knew then, standing there, looking at that mirror, I would have to change.

I lay awake that night thinking about what I wanted. I had the desire to do it, but unfortunately, I didn’t really have the motivation. The goals I had in my mind, the weight loss, the better diet, the exercise, it was all great but how was I going to get there?

About two weeks later, towards the end of January, I decided to do a Captain America marathon, because that’s a thing that I do sometimes. The Captain America movies are my favorite in the MCU, specifically the first one. Being prior military, especially army, that movie resonates for me more than any of the others. Also, Bucky is my favorite Marvel character, so that’s a bonus. I was in the middle of The Winter Solder, when Bucky jumps down from the bridge and murder walks off the car, and I thought to myself, “What a badass. It would be so cool to cosplay Winter Soldier. That freaking arm, and the mask, and that cool outfit. Jeeze, that would be so awesome!” But the more I thought about it, the more I felt, “Nah, I’m too big. I’d be too embarrassed.” There’s nothing wrong with big people cosplaying, I actually encourage that, but personally, if I was going to cosplay something as amazing as Winter Soldier, I would want to look my absolute best.

Then it hit me.

I wanted to cosplay Winter Soldier.

Holy shit. I really, really wanted to cosplay Winter Soldier.

And there was my motivation. It came in fast and hard like some kind of tropical storm. It was incredible. I finally had a goal, something to focus my efforts into. It would be fun and exciting and the payoff I knew would be amazing.

So, I started the next day. I got an app on my phone called myfitnesspal, which I will talk about at length in later posts, trust me it’s amazing. Then I went to the gym down the street to get a membership. I got a tour by one of the front-end guys, he tried to sell me a bunch of stuff but I wasn’t really interested. He sounded like a recording when he was talking to me, a kind of muscled automaton trying to get me to buy protein shakes and vitamins that at insanely jacked up prices. I was not interested. I did however take him up on the offer of a few complementary personal training lessons.

I came back a few days later and met Ian, who walked me through some of the equipment and showed me how to use it. Then, we sat down and he asked me “What are your goals?” I remember sitting there for a few seconds thinking, “Oh man, should I tell him? It’s really nerdy. Is he not going to take me seriously anymore?” Then I decided, screw it. I’ll tell him.

Ian blinked at me for a second and then said, “That’s the BEST IDEA I’VE EVER HEARD TO GET INTO SHAPE!”

Turns out, Ian is a big nerd too. Score.

So it’s been like that every time I’ve gone to the gym for the last few months. Ian is always excited and motivating. We talk about Marvel and video games and whatever else, while he pushes me to my limits and then beyond. The best part is, when I need to do one more, and I think I can’t, Ian will lean in and whisper “The Winter Soldier could do it” and then of course, I end up having to do two or three more, because reasons.

Okay, so, now we’re caught up.

Avengers Infinity War came out this week so I thought now would be a good time to post this. I was going to do it earlier, I wanted to start this blog right at the beginning, right when I started dieting and working out, but I wanted to do it a little bit before I put it out on the internet, make sure it was actually going to happen. I began this journey January 29th, and today is April 27th, so about 12 weeks. Here are some stats so far:

- I started at 202lbs and am now 181lbs as of today, so 21lbs lost.

- I was 78% bodyfat, now I’m 66%.

- I’ve lost 2 inches from my waist, and 4 from my hips.

- Dropped an inch from both my biceps and thighs, and then gained it back in muscle.

As you can see, it’s working. I was a very large potato, and now I’m a slightly slimmer potato. It’s happening for real, and I want to share it. Especially when the motivation is something fun like Winter Soldier.

I also need to point out that Sebastian Stan, the actor that plays Bucky/Winter Soldier, is a huge part of this as well, but that’s a story for the next post. Seb needs his own introduction, so I’ll leave that for later. Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading, if you did in fact read. I’m going to put up a video I made talking about the same things here in a bit. I could just do the videos, but I like writing. It helps me form and organize my thoughts a little better. The videos are just my way of making it all a little more personal.

Anyway, okay.

Let’s do this.

-  Theladywintersoldier

[romymdxcontexualstudiesfirstyear]

The censorship of women on social media.

Deep rooted in our society is the attempt to control women, it goes back centuries. Women being told to act proper, lady like and quiet themselves, in fear of being unfairly labelled a shameful name. For decades this attitude towards women continued until more recent times, women have found new ways to challenge this outdated idea of womanhood. In today’s society women can proudly express their trues selves online, whether its speaking out about an issue they normally wouldn’t feel able to do or simply posting a picture of themselves. Although women nowadays have much more freedom then before, do they really have complete freedom? On social media women can post and write whatever they please, as long as it complies with the ‘community guidelines’, this is where the issues start to crop up. An alarming amount of women’s posts that get removed are to do with their appearance, if it doesn’t fit into the ‘healthy lifestyle’ or the objectified version of women. The culprit of this is usually Instagram and TikTok, along with most social media platforms having their own ridiculous guidelines.

Rupi Kaur the visual poet, had a menstruation-themed photo series which she posted to Instagram, to challenge the taboos of periods. One photo in particular gained some attention which resulted in it being removed twice, the image under fire (See Figure 1) was of the artist herself, fully clothed lying down in bed, with 2 small spots of bloods visible both on her trousers and the bed sheets. The post was then removed twice for violating community guidelines, Kaur challenged these removals and eventually the post was restored where you can still find it today. On the restored post Kaur writes how she “thanks Instagram for providing the exact response her work was created for, deleting a photo of a women who is fully clothed and menstruating, claiming that it goes agonist guidelines when the guidelines state that its nothing but acceptable.” (Kaur, 2015)

Although the post is back up and has been ever since, the fact that it was removed twice despite that there was nothing within the image that violated guidelines, proved how women are controlled to fit the common place ideals that have been ingrained into society. It’s surprising to see the amount of people who think this type of image shouldn’t be on social media, as if a women menstruating isn’t natural, it’s made to seem dirty which it just isn’t.

Figure 1. Rupi Jaur photographed by her sister Prabh Jaur, exposing a small part spot of blood, a part of the period series to break the taboos of menstruation. March 25th 2015.

Out of social media women are censored for simple things we might take for granted now, such as reading a book or educating yourself. Once women were ‘allowed’ to read and write books men started trolling and claimed that women’s novels were dangerously distracting, unrealistic and even damaging to their mental health; Men would often deem female writers insane or secretly male. Joan Acocella an American journalist comments on the book ‘The Women Reader’ by Belinda Jack (see figure 2) “Women seemed stupid therefore, they were considered unfit for education; therefore, they weren’t given an education; therefore, they seemed stupid” (Aocoella, 2012) this statement holds a lot of truth, women were never even given the chance to educate themselves and when they did they were called insane and made fun of.

Male writers retaliated by publishing ‘helpful advice’ for women, targeted to keep women in their place; but women fought back. Publishers in the 16th century would offer cheaper and smaller books that could easily be hidden from husbands, book clubs started to form among women, discussing what made men fear women reading do much? The biggest reason being that women would then start to gain their own opinion, unguided or unbiased and they would think independently, another form of women being censored to fit this ideal that had been created just to put them down. The fear of women gaining education is still feared in more modern societies today, for example Iran’s ban of women studying certain topics like English literature, a way of controlling women to do and act how predominantly men want them to act and being punished if they disobey these rules, similar to the community guidelines on social media but in a more serious way.

Figure 2. Front cover of “The Women Reader” by Belinda Jack, the book introduced frustrated female readers over many eras, exploring the differences between men and women’s reading tastes.

The social media platform TikTok is particularly a culprit of censoring and discriminating women, policing their bodies and removing videos with women with “abnormal body shapes”. Raeann Langas, a body-positive influencer with a substantial following on TikTok aims to show people that all bodies are beautiful, regardless of shape or size. Langas posted a video of her and a friend dancing on the beach in matching bikinis, (see figure 3.) a few days after she posted the video she realised that the video had been taken down for violating community guidelines, assuming the app didn’t allow those types of videos she didn’t feel the need to challenge it. But after some digging she found countless videos of women in bikinis using the same #bikini nut the only different was they were all straight-sized women. She says “It was alarming to me that they were clearly removing certain types of people and body types, not the mention a majority of these videos kept up were highly sexualised and would be considered inappropriate for certain viewers.” (Langas, 2020

Langas brings up a great point here, for a post to be “accepted” on social media it is overly sexualised and pretty much objectifies women. You see it on most social media platforms, for example if a slender, “in shape” women posted a bikini picture on Instagram it would get high praise from both women and men, but if a women with a bigger body and stereotypically “unfit” shape were to post the exact some picture, the response would be name calling and making her feel like she is less than, and in some cases the post gets taken down for “violating guidelines”, censoring women who express their true self because society has deemed their body type unappealing and not fir for social media.

Figure 3. Picture of Raeann Langas with her friend at the beach, spreading body positivity. Malibu California, 2020.

Despite this unjust censorship women have experienced for far too long, there is also a positive side to it. International Women’s Day always brings to light the achievements of women and gives them to opportunity to continue to challenge the status quo by changing the shape of society. Alyssa Milano the American actress, singer, author, producer and activist is known for many of her achievements but especially her #MeToo movement that sparked up in 2017, Milano asked women on Twitter to write ‘#MeToo’ if they had ever been sexually harassed or assaulted. In just a few short days tens of thousands of women had responded, one small outcry became an army or supporting women. (Protesting women after Harvey Weinstein arrest pictured below. (See figure 4)

The MeToo movement is just a small part of the victory for women, women having the right to be free, uncensored is shifting the social norms, especially on social media. From my own personal experience getting the upmost amount of support from women on social media is so uplifting, it makes you feel seen and listened to, not just other women preaching about her rights. The more women taken control and break down barriers on social media the more freedom we will get, no longer being put in our place for expressing ourselves, we will no longer conform to the misogynistic views and objectify ourselves for anyone.

Figure 4. Picture above is participants in the march against sexual assault and harassment apart of the MeToo movement in LA Hollywood, November 12th 2017.

The cases I have brought up all support the same opinion that I have about women and social media which is that, misogynistic, sexist and old-fashioned views that have for years censored women are now the very thing that are now giving us the power to take a stand and challenge the status quo. Recent events of women being attacked and sexually harassed are terrible and should never have happened, I feel as if people have already started to stop talking about it and only support it while its “trending” and once it’s done being in the spotlight we get censored again because people don’t really want to talk about the real issues, only talk about them when its gaining them clout, which I feel is the real problem with the social norms we have created. Although it may seem like every step we take we get knocked back three, but every small victory makes up a brighter and better future for women, we need to continue to challenge the status quo, breaking down the barriers and make people uncomfortable until we are heard. Censoring of women may never stop, but we can learn how to make the censorship our own and command what we can and can’t post, no more of being put in our place, more of claiming our rightful place.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Pick Me! | Chapter 2

Chapter 1

My mind slow and groggy with sleep gradually turned into the pounding ache of a wine hangover. I gripped the side of the attached upholstered sofa cushion as my stomach lurched and churned with a sudden sickening feeling as consciousness slowly came back to me. I was laying half on, half off the living room sofa still in my disgusting scrubs and an empty bottle of wine wedged between my back and the cushions.

My phone dinged at the same time my iPad lit up with notifications.

“What?” I questioned aloud my eyes going cross with the brightness of the screen before the sinking dread filled me with ice and sudden flashing memory of the night before. “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!”

I didn’t look at the numerous notification bubbles until I opened the home screen, where an obnoxious red oval told me I had 103 messages.

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ,” I whispered again in astonishment. “Why so many?”

With trepidation, I clicked on the message icon and scrolled through to see just how many people made up the 103 messages. My eyes widened in shock, “FIFTY!”

My hand shook as I clicked on the first message…and then nearly launched the iPad across the room to get the offending thing away from me. The fear of breaking the screen was the only rational thought keeping me from tossing it as yet another grotesque message and an even worse image was in the following five! After the tenth message with nothing but disgusting, thoughtless images and slurs inside I responded.

Hello Red & Black Jack,

Fuck Off. Do the world a favor and hide your tiny gnome dick then go home. 

Hot Shot Lady Doc

I copy and pasted the message and continued to send it to each and every dick pic sent to me, which was an alarming twenty people out of the fifty that sent messages overnight.

Finally, after the multitude of disgusting messages, several vulgar and suggestive message–one of which said “What’s long and hard and full of Seamen?”, there was one person I vaguely remembered sending a message to last night that seemed to have responded.

Hi Hot Shot Lady Doc,

Or may I call you Claire? I am most definitely a real man, I definitely am not one of those people who creep on the internet to prey on women like yourself, and I would love to have coffee with you. I think my time as an army surgeon and your current profession would give us a fantastic base to start on. I’m free any time tomorrow, or this weekend. If you are serious about the meetup please call me at +44 07778 008897.

I look forward to meeting you.

Army Doc, John Grey

My brow furrowed in confusion. “What the fuck did I even say to him?”

I reread his message then anxiously scrolled up to see what prompted his unusual first sentence.

“Oh dear God.” I groaned in horror as ice filled my veins. “Please tell me I didn’t do that.” I closed my eyes but the drunken words were burned into the backs of my eyelids.

Hi Amry Doc!

Are you a real man? OR just one of those crazies who want to kidnap and rape me?

Yuor picture is very cute adn yuor cute and yeah.

We should have coffee!! I love coffee!

I’m sorry I’m a little drunj it’s my bithday!!! Happy lonely Birthday to me!!! My best friend gave me wine and this dating app for agift! She’s nice but I don’t know about it but guess I should give chance. So coffee soon? Please!

Claire

“At least I spelled my name right,” I grumbled and flopped face first onto the leather of the couch. With half of my face still pressed into the couch, I messaged the very kind Army Doc back.

Hi John,

I’m so sorry for my drunk messages last night. Thank you for being kind enough to reply. I don’t know why you did. I know I asked last night, but I’m reaffirming I’d love to get coffee. I’m free this afternoon, it’s my only day off this week from the hospital. Where and when are you available to meet?

Claire

I moved my head back towards the cushion where the stench of the hospital and stale wine mingled with the rich leather. I let out a huff and pushed myself up from the couch, a shower was definitely in order.

The pounding water and fresh steam of the shower helped clear the fog from my head and bring my body back to a semblance of normalcy. In the hour and half, I had spent under the water, two new messages had arrived from the dating site. Still wrapped in a towel, I thumbed through them.

Claire,

Please think nothing of it. If it weren’t for my brother I guarantee I would not have had the nerve to respond to someone like you. I would be honored to meet you in Oxford if that works for you. Would Vaults & Garden off of High Street near All Souls and Radcliffe Square be easy for you to get to around 15:00? I have a noon meeting at All Souls and will be in the area for the full day before driving back to London.

John

My heart picked up a beat and I felt my face flush in excitement as an uncontrollable smile lit up my face.

John,

15:00 at Vaults & Garden would be wonderful. See you there! I’ll be the one in–

I stopped and looked at my wardrobe, debating the possible combinations and hating every single option.

“Get a grip, Beauchamp! It’s only coffee!” I said confidently before blindly reaching for a hanger.

I’ll be the one in green.

Claire

The second message was from one of the original men who I matched with and apparently hadn’t made a fool of myself with.

Hi Hot Shot Lady Doc,

Christ, these dating apps and usernames really make it difficult to take even myself seriously. I’ll start out with my name is Jamie and I’m–

I failed to read the rest of his, what I’m sure was a well thought out message, and snooped on his profile. In the picture, he had on a garish red jumper with giant blue balls knit into it. Did he think this was endearing? I tried to ignore the jumper and focus on his face but found my eyes kept creeping back down to the ridiculous article of clothing.

Seumas Ruadh

Name: James Fraser

Occupation: Wining Fraser - Owner/Distributor

Looking For: Something unseen, yet felt between

Interested In: Women with a kind heart, and sharp mind

“Oh, well now why did you have to go and say something cute Mr. Fraser?” I huffed in mock exasperation scrolling back up to focus on his face. A strong jaw, sharp cheekbones, with a long straight nose let to piercing blue, smiling eyes. Eyes that seemed to smile and be illuminated from behind, made my heart skip a beat and butterflies to flutter in my gut. A tumbling mass of red curls framed his face and the lone stray curl that curved towards his left eye made him even more enticing. I wanted to know this man.

I gazed at his likeness for longer than what would be deemed appropriate, lost in his smile that lit up his entire face, like that moment in time he could not be any happier. “Now I have to go back and read your message, you’re too adorable not to.”

Hi Hot Shot Lady Doc,

Christ, these dating apps and usernames really make it difficult to take even myself seriously. I’ll start out with my name is Jamie and I’m new to this whole online dating experience. I’m 28, no kids, never married. Is that the kind of thing people mention on here? I don’t know. I’m the owner of Wining Fraser, a small wine distribution business based out of Edinburgh. I love what the wine business does. Not only do we get to experience a new world with every company and every bottle, we–I–get to bring joy to people. I suppose that’s why I’m using this insane way of finding a date. I’ve lost myself in my work and figured now was as good a time as any to attempt to find that missing something or I suppose, someone. I do hope you’ll respond back, and I look forward to getting to know you.

Jamie Fraser

I caught myself laughing at his choice and use of words. I feel much the same. Here I sat, 32 barely making enough time to sleep from insane work schedules, failing at anything that required care and attention. I wouldn’t doubt that if I were to buy a houseplant the poor thing would die, not from my lack of a green thumb, but my lack of love to give to it.

After rereading Jamie’s message and began to compose my reply. I caught myself giggling like a schoolgirl, and had to make an effort not to let the butterflies fly away with my words.

Dear Jamie,

Please, just call me Claire.

I understand when you said that work seems to be your entire life. I too am guilty of that very action. My lack of social and romantic life led to my best friend signed me up for this app on my birthday of all days. Sometimes I wonder where time has gone and how at 32, I feel as though I’ve simultaneously been around for much longer and not long enough to know what I’m doing. Have you ever felt as though your life passes you by no matter how hard you try to stop and take a moment to savor it? At first I was wary of even starting this app, and now I don’t want my life to fly by any more than it has without my say so. I want to savor every moment, and sometimes that means taking a risk, like saying hello to a handsome stranger.

I too, look forward to getting to know you, Jamie.

Claire

[craftypeaceturtle]

2013 x 2016 (the squeakquel)

Jacksepticeye x Markiplier 

Summary: A part two of 2016 x 2013. What happens when a 2016 Jack meets a 2013 Mark.

Warning: Slight swearing

Note: I mean no offence to either Jack, Mark, Amy or Signe, this is purely for entertainment. Requested!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This morning was turning out to be slightly… strange.

 Mark was sitting in a living room with a plate of toast smothered with butter and strawberry jam as the TV muttered the news to nobody. The sun flickered across the room whenever a cloud would make way of it and he could faintly hear a dog pouncing and barking behind him in the garden. It sounds pleasant and very very normal.

 Unless you counted his apparent boyfriend from three years in the future eating some cereal next to him, then yes this was very normal indeed.

Mark had woken up in a bed that he knew was unfamiliar before he had even opened his eyes. He only did open his eyes because he felt something poking behind his knees and that’s when he realised that: one, there was a football sized teddy green eyeball sitting under his legs and two, there was some random stranger spooning him.

 You know all very normal things to happen on a regular basis.

 “So uh… Can y-you tell me again what’s happened? I’m really not sure I‘m getting this,” Mark asked for about the fourth time that hour. He knew he was going to get an exact answer out of ‘Jack’ but maybe he would’ve remembered something or looked at the news or… I dunno some fancy future device.

“I-I… Look I really don’t know. But, you said you’re from 2013, right?” Jack asked timidly to maybe buy some time to think how to delicately explain that they were really dating and that he didn’t kidnap him. Once Mark nodded he continued, “Well, this is 2016 and we’ve been dating since about midway through 2014. I’m Sean but most people just call me Jack and this is your house. I have not the faintest why you’re here all of a sudden; I just know that you are.”

“Yeah but how did we meet? You clearly recognise me but I don’t you? Did we start dating through a dating website?” Mark guessed as he peeked around the room again. There really wasn’t much to say. The beige walls were decorated with pictures of some people he did recognise (He is deeply sad that Wade lost the afro) and the wooden floors were warmed by some cotton carpets.

“No, god no, we didn’t meet through some app! We met via our jobs. I had admired you for a while and you inspired me to start my own channel”

 Mark suddenly froze with the piece of toast pinched between his fingers. “Wait, are you JackSepticEye?” Mark’s eye widened, that would explain the giant teddy eyeball and the hair (kind of…).

Jack looked surprised at that, “Yeah, I didn’t think you knew me?” Mark simply smiled, the guy had just won the PewDiePie shout out a week ago (well in his time) and Felix had suggested that he should look him up because apparently he was a fan of his. His accent was a bit awkward but overall he seemed quite witty and childish. He’d been meaning to, over the last few days, direct message him to ask if they could talk. He made sure to explain this without sounding too stalker-y.

 Jack laughed it off though and explained the reason for his forced accent and before any of them knew it, they’d spent hours just chatting away the videos they had done and wanted to do.

 ***

Mark turned over again and waited for it. Unfortunately he didn’t have to wait long. The clangs and clinks were still echoing from the kitchen.

 At first, he just presumed it was something he usually did. Jack would spend every night in the kitchen either baking or cleaning each piece of cutlery to every single pan. And then every morning Mark would thank him for doing that, he really didn’t need to and the kitchen always looked incredible afterwards. But it was when he blushed and Jack heavily hinted that he didn’t want him to mention it, that’s when Mark started to think this wasn’t too usual.

 He had been here a week now. Still on the fence about whether it was nice to have someone to talk to and mess about or being torture because he couldn’t upload anything and his channel was probably now going into melt down, Mark was determined to at least make the most of being in the future. Okay not like thousands of years into the future but he was still going to make the most of it dammit!

 But Jack had gotten… twitchy. It was clear he took his YouTube career seriously and the mere thought of missing an upload was utterly disastrous. It was generally quite early when he would duck away into his recording room and he would spend a good few hours in there before then spending the rest of the day answering comments and reblogging pictures and kind notes. Yet now he was probably spending the entire day in there. Over the days he became less chatty and his smiles definitely became more forced.  

 The night time cleaning session seemed more like a desperate attempt to find some sort of relaxation and stress relief.

 Sighing, Mark carefully crept out of the guest bedroom bed and waddled his way down to the kitchen. It was by a miracle that by morning this will be stunning because right now it looked like Jack had ripped it apart. There was an entire army of soaps and sprays located by his heel and his arms scrubbed furiously at the tiled floor with occasional grunts once a persistent flicker of mud was gone. He was completely oblivious to Mark who stood there watching awkwardly. He knew his future self, and therefore Jack’s actual boyfriend, would know what to do. Mark wanted to help him, to be able to soothe whatever was making him frustrated and let him finally find some peaceful sleep.

 But he really had no clue.

 Jack sighed as well. He knew Mark was there. He… just didn’t want to face him right now. Everything would be so much easier if he could pretend for a little longer that this didn’t happened. Unfortunately, Mark didn’t appear to understand this façade and tapped his shoulder. “Come on, you need your sleep. No offense, but you look awful,”

“Thanks,” Jack replied way more bitterly than he had ever intended. This was by no means Mark’s fault; the whole thing couldn’t be explained.

“I would ask are you okay but I don’t need to hear a mandatory ‘fine’. So, what’s bothering you?” Mark kept his tone neutral.

“I-I… Just…” Jack trailed off while shaking his head.

 Admittedly Mark didn’t really know Jack yet, being honest he didn’t even know 2013 Jack, but he could tell why they became friends and even more and so he cared. Jack was upset and just that was enough to make him the need to set things right. Moving around and kneeling to where Jack was facing, Mark waited patiently until Jack faced him.

 “I’m just having trouble with work. Everyone won’t stop asking about you and I don’t know what to say. I made up that you were just ill but now I’ve made everyone worry that you’re in hospital or something. Everyone is now trying to rip everyone apart for information, there’s rumours spreading like wild fire. I r-really didn’t mean for it to snow ball like t-that. And I have to record. But I f-feel bad for leaving you a-alone all d-day. Comments h-have gone to shit. I-I m-miss my a-actual Mark,” Jack eventually fell to pieces. His crooked sobs were thankfully muted from Mark wrapping Jack in his best hug halfway through his speech. “Ju-just everything is happening a-at once and I-I really d-don’t know how to make it better again!”

 Mark didn’t say a word. Arguably, he couldn’t. As much as his body burnt to, he didn’t know how to bring back 2016 Mark. He knew from experience that it never mattered how long you’ve been doing YouTube that there will always be that one negative comment that just sticks. From searching up JackSepticEye he knew just how together and united his comments and community was so to have everyone torn apart must be devastating.

 Mark said nothing but gently coaxed Jack to stand up and took him to his room.

 Knowing that asking would cause Jack to lie or feel stupid, Mark invited himself in the bed as well and quickly snuggled in. Yeah, it felt a bit weird to sleep with a somewhat stranger but there was no way he was going to pry himself out of Jack’s keen grip.

 Yet as sleep finally drifted over them, Mark dreamt that he was in a white plain. There was him, but different. This Mark had bright fiery flames and was just that bit buffer and there was Jack. But this time, it was the Jack he saw in the few videos he had watched of JackSepticEye. His salt and pepper hair was cut too short to flip into his face. They looked just as confused as he probably did. It was a weird dream.

 Mark woke up in his own bed without a Septic Eye Sam poking behind his knees. The calendar hanging on the wall proudly exclaimed 2013.

[backfencemagazine]

A Disney Family Visit to Walt Disney World Resort

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

Now more than ever is the time to visit Walt Disney World! My four-year-old son Reagan, my 9-month-old son Ezra, and myself recently checked off a Disney bucket list experience with our first ever visit to Walt Disney World Resort. It probably comes as no surprise that we had the absolute time of our lives! With the opportunity to visit all four Parks, we saw so many new and exciting things, experienced Disney magic like never before, and made countless memories. I’m thrilled to share why now, more than ever, is the best time to book a trip to Walt Disney World with your little ones! With over 80 kid-friendly attractions across all four parks, numerous character meet and greets, the most magical entertainment ever, and plenty of special and new experiences throughout the year, Walt Disney World is the ultimate vacation spot for any Disney family.

Disney’s Magic Kingdom 

Magic Kingdom offers so much for all ages, but seeing the magic of this park through my four-year-old’s eyes was truly special. Before I get into all the fun we had, I wanted to share the first thing I did when we found out about our Walt Disney World vacation: I downloaded the My Disney Experience App. From maps of all four theme parks to reservations, the My Disney Experience App has it all. You can book Fast Passes up to 60 days in advance, mobile order your food, make dining reservations, find character meet and greet locations, and lots more. It helped us so much during our visit!

A Disney vacation isn’t complete without seeing Mickey Mouse. Now through September 30, 2019, Magic Kingdom is celebrating big with “Mickey and Minnie’s Surprise Celebration!” There are a number of limited-time festivities, but a few of the things we enjoyed include meeting Mickey and Minnie in their adorable celebration outfits at Celebration Central inside the Town Square Theater, and signing the celebration book to receive our commemorative party invitation with stickers inside! The party invitation also shares ten ways guests can #CelebrateMickey throughout the Magic Kingdom.

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

Our absolute favorite part of Mickey and Minnie’s Surprise Celebration was the “Move It! Shake It! MousekeDance It! Street Party!” This upbeat dance party featuring Mickey and his pals takes travel down Main Street before stopping in front of Cinderella Castle. The floats, dancing characters, and the new song, “It’s a Good Time” is sure to get you moving your feet!

We enjoyed the many kid-friendly attractions in Fantasyland like Prince Charming Regal Carrousel, the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and the Mad Tea Party. Then we made our way into the Storybook Circus area of Fantasyland. Both Reagan and I agree that Storybook Circus was one of our favorite spots in the park. And if you didn’t already guess, Storybook Circus is home to the famous “Dumbo the Flying Elephant” attraction, which has an entire interactive play zone for kids inside the line queue – genius! Storybook Circus is also where you’ll find Casey Jr. Splash ’N’ Soak Station (great for cooling off), and Pete’s Silly Sideshow where guests can meet characters like the Great Goofini, Astounding Donaldo, Daisy Fortuna, and the newest character meet and greet, Wonder Pup Pluto.

My son Reagan is super active and adventurous, so he really loved all that Adventureland had to offer. From interactive play areas to attractions like Pirates of the Caribbean and the Jungle Cruise, he was in his element! He also really loved flying around on the Magic Carpets of Aladdin. To add to the adventure, we visited Tomorrowland for a ride on Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin and the People Mover. Talk about nostalgia for Mom!

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

Entertainment is always at the top of our list when we visit a Disney Resort. Throughout the day, the parks offer various entertainment to put a pep in your step! We loved Mickey’s Royal Friendship Faire at Cinderella Castle, featuring a ton of favorite Disney characters, and the Festival of Fantasy Parade. One show that for sure got us feeling the Disney magic like never before was the fireworks spectacular, “Happily Ever After!” We sang along to some of our favorite Disney songs, and even cried at times from how beautiful & powerful the show was. The projections, lasers and fireworks are the biggest and best in the history of Magic Kingdom’s fireworks spectaculars – it really is a must-see. An added bonus to waiting for Happily Ever After to begin was the projections show on Cinderella Castle called, “Once Upon a Time.”

Disney’s Hollywood Studios

Hooray for Hollywood! Disney’s Hollywood Studios is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year! Just like Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios has so much for preschool-aged kiddos. We started our day with the Disney Junior Dance Party! featuring Doc McStuffins, Timon from “The Lion Guard,” Roadster Racer Mickey, and the newest member of the character line up, Vampirina! This show will get you dancing from the minute it begins! Just outside the Disney Junior Dance Party! theater, in the Animation Courtyard, favorite Disney Junior characters are available for photos and autographs.

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

New to Disney’s Hollywood Studios as of Summer 2018 is Toy Story Land. It’s almost difficult to put into words how incredible and immersive this place is. Of course, Reagan absolutely loved it, but I was just as amused by all of it! Toy Story Land offers three attractions: Slinky Dog Dash, Toy Story Mania! and Alien Swirling Saucers. All of the attractions are extremely fun and detailed – it really felt like we had shrunk down to the size of Andy’s toys. The Green Army Men are out and about for fun games with guests. There are tons of photo opportunities, and even a great spot for breakfast, lunch and dinner called, “Woody’s Lunchbox” (Try the Totchos!). Toy Story Land is also home to meet and greets with Woody, Jessie and Buzz Lightyear.

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

As part of Disney’s Hollywood Studios 30th Anniversary, guests can stop by Pixar Place for “An Incredible Celebration!” The celebration includes a dance party with Mr. & Mrs. Incredible and Frozone, a new food stand with Jack Jack Num Num Cookies and other themed eats, fun photo backdrops to show your #IncredibleSide, and a character meet and greet with the iconic fashion designer, Edna Mode.

My son Reagan is a huge Star Wars fan, so he was thrilled when he found out that Disney’s Hollywood Studios has a live show called, “Star Wars: A Galaxy Far, Far Away,” where all of the most popular Star Wars characters appear on stage. He was also very excited to experience “Star Wars: A Galactic Spectacular” at night, and watch Jedi Training: Trials of the Temple. Perhaps the most exciting news to share for any Star Wars fans out there is that Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, a brand new Star Wars land, will be opening at Disney’s Hollywood Studios at the end of 2019!

Something that I know my son would have loved, but we didn’t get to experience because it won’t be open to guests until March 31, 2019 is “Lightning McQueen’s Racing Academy.” This show that teaches guests what it’s like to be a champion racer features Lightning McQueen, Tow Mater, and Cruz Ramirez. There is even a meet and greet with Cruz after the show! I guess we’ll just have to plan another trip to see this!

Disney’s Animal Kingdom

We fell in love with Disney’s Animal Kingdom. This was one of the most immersive experiences we have ever had at a Disney Park. Everything was so beautiful and detailed. For my four-year-old, seeing animals and Disney magic in the same place was like a dream come true!

In 2017, Disney’s Animal Kingdom welcomed a new addition, Pandora – The World of Avatar. This area of the Park completely blew us away! The details were jaw dropping. It really felt like we were in another world. Pandora offers two attractions. The first attraction is Avatar Flight of Passage, where guests can experience a thrilling ride on a mountain banshee! The second attraction is Na’vi River Journey, a boat cruise through a breathtaking bioluminescent rainforest. These two attractions are extremely popular, so I highly suggest booking FastPass+ for both, if available. Aside from attractions and taking in every detail of Pandora, we also thoroughly enjoyed the Pandora Utility Suit, the Swoto Wayä Na’vi Drum Ceremony and the food at Satu’li Canteen and Pongu Pongu. Be sure to try the Night Blossom Beverage! And definitely stop by Pandora at night to see the bioluminescent rainforest all lit up.

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

Currently, Disney’s Animal Kingdom is celebrating the 25th Anniversary of “The Lion King” with two special photo spots and special experiences! You can find one photo backdrop at the park entrance, and find the famous scene where Simba, Timon and Pumbaa are walking on a log over a waterfall along the walkway toward Pandora. The “Hakuna Matata Time Dance Party” featuring characters like Timon, Baloo, Terk, Rafiki and Koda was so much fun, and a great way to celebrate 25 years of the beloved Lion King. Lastly, we enjoyed “Festival of The Lion King,” an amazing live-stage show featuring Simba, Timon, Pumbaa, and all the classic songs from the film that we know and love! With multiple showtimes daily, there are plenty of opportunities to make time to see it (and FastPass+ is available).

Disney’s Animal Kingdom wouldn’t be Animal Kingdom without animals! There are all kinds of animals to see in the park in Africa and Asia. One of our favorite animal experiences was on the Kilimanjaro Safaris. We spotted (and were so close to) giraffes, wildebeests, elephants and lions, and even saw a hippo getting a teeth brushing! The Kilimanjaro Safaris is a popular experience, so I recommend booking FastPass+ as early as possible through the My Disney Experience App. Another favorite adventure for Reagan was Gorilla Falls. As far as entertainment and animals goes, we thoroughly enjoyed “UP! A Great Bird Adventure,” featuring the lovable Russell and Dug. We learned a ton about all different kinds of birds!

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

Something I actually never knew existed at Animal Kingdom, but was pleasantly surprised by, especially for my dino-loving four-year-old, was DinoLand U.S.A. This land has three attractions, including a Boneyard Fossil Fun Site where kids can play and explore, arcade games, and character meet and greets with Donald Duck, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto, Chip ’n’ Dale, Scrooge McDuck, and Launchpad McQuack. Donald Duck is even hosting “Donald’s Dino Bash!” Out of the three attractions in DinoLand, Primeval Whirl and TriceraTop Spin Aerial Carousel are great for preschoolers. On the edge of DinoLand U.S.A, you’ll find “Finding Nemo — The Musical,” another great entertainment option for preschool-aged kids.

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

At nightfall, Disney’s Animal Kingdom is especially magical. We enjoyed seeing the Tree of Life on Discovery Island come to life in the evening with projections and familiar Disney tunes. This occurs about every 10 minutes after dark until closing, so there are plenty of chances to see it!

Disney’s Epcot

In just one day of exploring Epcot, we traveled around to different countries of the world, ventured into the future, outer space and even went under the sea with Nemo and friends! It was such a unique and memorable experience. Aside from the variety of delicious and authentic cuisines we indulged in (so much eating!), Reagan’s favorite Epcot adventures included our voyage to Arendelle on the “Frozen Ever After” attraction in Norway, visiting Anna and Elsa at the Royal Sommerhus, stopping by the Kidcot Fun Stops in the World Showcase pavilions for a commemorative souvenir and coloring, the Gran Fiesta Tour boat ride with The Three Caballeros, exploring Future World, and seeing IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth, which is set to end at the end of Summer 2019.

©DISNEY. PHOTO BY EMILY SIMS FOR DISNEY FAMILY

Walt Disney World really has something for the whole family, but there is truly nothing quite like seeing Disney through a little one’s eyes – pure magic! I can’t wait to look back on our photos one day and show Reagan and Ezra how much joy this trip brought them at such young ages. We are already dreaming up another Walt Disney World vacation for the memory books!

The post A Disney Family Visit to Walt Disney World Resort appeared first on Disney Family.

Disney Family

[raksha-bhediya-blog]

BDRPWriMo Task #21:

A List of 10+ Characters you’d like to see in the RP (for you to play or someone else)

Yzma Sumac

Freaking Yzma!!!! I have wanted her since I apped for Georgette. In fact, when I did app for Georgette I was battling between both muses to decide who I was going to end up with, and well we all know now that Georgie won xD. Even still, the want for her is still THERE!!! She would be such a fun character to play and develop out. I absolutely LOVE her in The Emperor’s New Groove. I still have her all fleshed out, background story and everything but I never end up going for her because she intimidates the fuck out of me!!!! I’m always scared that I won’t be able to do her enough justice. :/ Sooo she never ends up in my little army. Sorry, Yzma but I do LOVE HERR!!!

Sylvia Marpole

UGGHHH I’ve had an interest for Sylvia since her skeleton first popped up. She wasn’t, however, available then so like with time my want for her started to die. No I’m UPSET that I am doing this task because I am REMINDED of how much I REALLY wanted her. :( Her magic was what hooked me, like being able to JUMP INTO BOOKS WHAT?!?! Do you know all the books I would make her go IN?!!??! I love to read, and while yes I do have two bookworms in my armada both Isa and Webby don’t really like the sort of books I LOVE. Sylvia wouuldd. Also because tbh I’ve never seen the movie she’s in soo.... she’d kind of be played as my interpretation of her without any background base. Also, she’d be older and that’s something I don’t have in my army at the moment.

Cat Absolem

Cat has always been a silent muse in my head. I’ve like pretty much always wanted her but never with like a pushing crazy force so she always remained hidden in my head. I always liked her because in my head she would be like a Luna Lovegood character. Very weird, very eccentric and those characters are a lot of fun to write!!! Plus, she comes with a pretty neat bonus of owning a Hukah parlor like bam don’t even have to think of a career for her she already set!!! xD

Elyon Brown

Elyon my babbbyyy!!!!!! I had her once upon a time, but then my army was way bigger and work was a hell hole so she had to be let go. :((( However, out of all my children I have once had Elyon would be the one I would get back!!! I LOVED her!!!! She was the type of personality I lean towards, her magic was very fun!!! AND she was from another dimension!!!!! With Elyon there is great opportunity with world building because of the fact that she’s from another dimension, which is something that greatly attracts me about her. If I ever do pick her back up, I want to make sure that I have the time to be able to properly give her all that world building. 

Hayley Long

I LOVED her in the show!!!!! I was a fan of American Dragon Jake Long, back in the days when Disney Channel was actually good, and Hayley had always been one of my favorite characters from the show!!! She’s such a know-it-all, obnoxious, suck-up, brat. I loved it!!!! She was that little sister that would make you want to pull out your own eyes sometimes, but the one that you loved tremendously. Nerdy, goody-two-shoes, but sweet and always knew what was most important when things came down to it. My type of character!!! She’d be a fun one to play.

Clio of Hesiod

I am a Greek Mythology hoe, and sadly have no greek mythology related character in my armada. -___- I have always been so attracted to the muses since their skeletons started appearing and there was a point where I even wanted to like play them ALL, but Clio always had the strongest muse (haha). I lovvee History, so that definitely aided in her having that extra edge in front of the others. She would fulfill my Greek Mythology neeeeed BUT I have the same problem with her as I do with Yzma. She intimidates me, like I wouldn’t know how she went about inspiring historians. I wouldn’t do her enough justice so she stays in my “I wish” list.

Helen Parr

I mention her so much with Dash that I sometimes just want to pick her up and rp her, I even did my mock application on her!!!! looool But like, someone come be my son’s mom!!!!!! Helen is such a kick-ass character, very strong minded, always on point, fiery, and an all around super woman!!!! Not to mention she has some pretty awesome powers that someone can do a lot with. :D She’ll be so much fun and the town can use more older characters than mid-twenties and teens!!!! 

Chip

Every time I think about wanting a teen and then I’m like hmmm it should be a boy, Chip is who immediately comes to mind. He is so sweet, kind, gentle, soft, and all that is innocent in this worrllddd. At the same time, he also has a bit of spunk to him!!! He’d be such a cutie pie to play!!!!! Seriously, someone grab him!!! My muse with guys just sucks in general and I always end up stumped with them, which is why I never ended up grabbing Chip. I’m honestly surprise that I still have Dash.

Jack Skellington

This is a purely selfish want. Someone play Jack!!!!! Sally would LOVE a Jack!!!!! Give my baby a FRIEENDD. I mean, she does have friends, but give her one from the same MOVIEEEE. Plus, Jack is AMAZING!!!!! He isn’t on my list of who I want to play because I just wouldn’t know where to start with him, but he’s such a fun and intriguing character!!!! He’d be a blast to have around in the RP!!!! He’d cause so much trouble and you know Swynlake can never have enough trouble. xD

Jack-Jack Parr

Again, totally selfish. Give Dash his brother!!!!!!! I meeaann who wouldn’t want a teen who will eventually evolve into having a whole bunch of different powers?!?! He’s the most powerful Parr out of the bunch!!! That would be so COOL and FUN!!!! And he even comes with a sibling so there can always be sibling stuff!!!

[echoslammin]

Yuletide 2018 Letter

Dear Yuletide Author,

I’m Echoslam on AO3. Thank you very much for checking out this letter! 

General Information:

Likes: Any kind of AU, romance, friendship, introspection, worldbuilding, smut, canon-appropriate pop culture references, humor (all kinds - comedic situations, witty dialogue, running gags, memes, etc. Seriously, if you’ve ever wanted to experiment with bizarre crack, I’d be happy to be your guinea pig). I also *love* metafiction and nods to quirky game mechanics and canon in-jokes.

DNWs: Body waste kinks, poly, bestiality, non-canon incest

Most of my favorite works tend to be character studies and fluffy romance, but I definitely enjoy darker stuff as well, if that is your thing. Feel free to ignore my prompts and go with your own ideas! If there's a story you've always wanted to write, please have at it, and let me share your enthusiasm. I'm a huge fan of all of these games and am just so excited at the thought of reading fic for any of them.  

Links by Fandom:

Heroes of Might and Magic III Girls' Frontline The Secret World Liar! Uncover the Truth Liar! Office Deception Liar! Scheming Socialites

Heroes of Might and Magic III - Any Character 

I just about had a heart attack when I saw this in the tagset - I've loved HoMM since I was a kid, and III is my favorite in the series. Truly, the turn-based strategy game of my heart. I loved all flavor text in this game, especially the snippets of lore on the heroes and their backstories. If you're writing about any of them, I'd love all kinds of details - from their army composition to the spells and artifacts they have equipped.

Prompts:

Lorelei and Synca relationship development, whether as friends, enemies, or lovers. Since their specialties are harpies and manticores, respectively, how does that work out in combat? Technically, you couldn't have multiple heroes on your side of the battlefield until HoMMIV, but how would these two interact if they were fighting together?  

Anything based on the story campaigns. Maybe missing scenes from Dungeons & Devils or a "bad" ending for Long Live the Queen where the Nighon forces are victorious?

Detailed description of the siege and takeover of an enemy stronghold or the development of a new township.

One of the game mechanics that I always found interesting was how, when you open a treasure chest, you have the option of taking the gold or "distributing it to the peasants" for experience. Is that really how it works? What is the peasants' view of the heroes in this game?

少女前线 | Girls' Frontline - Any Character

Another wonderful surprise in the tagset! I just started playing GFL this year, and I've found it extremely fun and addicting. I actually found the plot very engaging, and the armory of T-Dolls is irresistibly cute.

Prompts:

I love the idea of a gift exchange between members of the Anti-Rain Squad. Maybe someone gives M16A1 a bottle of her beloved Jack Daniels?

Orchestra AU! Just...anything based on this picture would be amazing.

Anything focusing on team dynamics, especially if you want to incorporate references to game mechanics (different T-Dolls and their buffs/active skills, etc.) Or hurt/comfort after an intense firefight.

You know how T-Dolls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice a combo of manpower, ammo, rations, and parts? How exactly does the factory utilize those resources? What do they even do with all those meals ready-to-eat?

Coffee shop AU starring Persica (the woman loves her caffeine).  

The Secret World - Any Character

One of the best MMO experiences of my life. TSW combined so many things I love into one game: an awesome modern setting, dark humor, and an incredible story with amazing characters. I play the Legends reboot from time-to-time, but I prefer the original version and still like to play on the vanilla server (kind of fun having an entire MMO to yourself, heh). I've also played the tie-in game, The Park, and really loved that as well.

I was fascinated by all the narrative details in this game, like the lore honeycombs and ambient story telling. If you could incorporate that into your writing, that would be fantastic.

Prompts:

Long ago, on the TSW forums, someone mocked the idea of a schmoopy Sonnac/Geary romance as a terrible idea for a fic - I want to read that story! Whether you want to make it complete crack or be serious about it, I would love to see something develop between these two. Maybe they go on a date for tacos at Dante's stall? Or maybe Geary tries to troll Sonnac somehow, and he plays along until the last minute...and then snark ensues.

Issue #5: The Vanishing of Tyler Freeborn is my favorite for a reason: filthy NPCs. I would love to know what filth-infected versions of Geary and Sonnac would be like.  

Anything Moose/Andy. This is the romance I was waiting to see blossom, but alas, it never did. What happens when Andy finally catches on to Moose's crush on him? How about rescue romance or rides on Moose's chopper? Pining on Moose's end, requited or unrequited, would be good, too.

I love the world of this game so much, especially the urban areas (the faction hubs, Fusang, Tokyo) and New England. Would love to read anything about a bee of any faction exploring and going on missions, their opinion of their handler, etc. Please do go into excruciating detail about your bee's gear and abilities, because I'm all about that. What are there primary/secondary/auxiliary weapons? Which NPCs are their besties? Tell me everything!  For the record, my main was a Lumie that chose not to side with the Dreamers, but I'd by happy to read about any faction/alignment.

I adore faction rivalries, and the ones in TSW were just awesome. Whether it's old school Templars vs. Illuminati or you get the Dragon involved somehow, I just love witnessing all the contention. Seriously, you could just write 1,000 words of back-and-forth trash talk, and I would absolutely adore it.  

ダウト～嘘つきオトコは誰？～ | Doubt ~Usotsuki Otoko wa Dare?~ | Liar! Uncover the Truth - Any Character

Since last year, I’ve become a huge fan of this mystery/romance app with its feisty heroine and the quirky Liars she has to unmask before finding her Mr. Right. If you’re interested, I maintain a sideblog dedicated to it over @whoistheliar​ as well as a random screenshots blog: @liarscreenshots. (Warning for spoilers at both links).

All of the characters in this game,"Mr. Right" included, have their own imperfections, and it feels like half the point of this game is giving you the opportunity to navigate your feelings about certain character flaws. I love how MC isn’t a blank slate and is very much her own character. She can be quite a mess at home and has a lot of insecurity about her humble background, seeing as she’s originally from a small country town (IIRC one of Joe’s side stories mentions that she’s from Akita prefecture).  

I definitely enjoyed the sequel stories, but I'm more fond of the main route of the game. Shipfic revolving around MC is something I would love to see, but I would be open to other pairings as well, especially between secondary characters. I would also welcome gen or friendship fic.

Prompts:

I loved the multiple endings you could unlock at the end of every chapter and the insight they gave into each Liar's backstory. Anything expanding on those would be great, especially the True or Love endings. I really enjoyed seeing POV from other characters besides MC.

Love triangles are my guilty pleasure, and I would definitely enjoy reading a situation where MC has to choose between two of the Liars and/or Mr. Right/Ayumi. Would love it if things got Very Emotional.

I always like marriage/honeymoon/married life stories, and MC's occupation as a wedding planner complements that wonderfully. How does she get her love interests or friends involved? Are there wedding crashers? Will she serve takoyaki at the wedding??

In the main story, MC found out each Liar's secret before things got too serious, but what if the emotional stakes had been much higher? For any of the Liars, would MC react differently if she didn't find out the truth until after falling in love over a longer period of time? Basically, I'd like to see your take on a "Bad Ending."

So, after following this game for a while, it seems that other players have very strong opinions about the various Liars, so in case it helps you, here's a summary of my take on them:

1st Liar: SQUICK. SQUICK. SQUICK. Honestly, they seems like a very nice guy in all their side stories, but stil...squick.

2nd Liar: I find their profession very interesting, so I'm a bit biased in their favor, despite their true nature. Could see them with MC after getting a ton of therapy. They also definitely have some chemistry with the 9th Liar, lol.

3rd Liar: I can't bring myself to hate them; they're just too ridiculous. Side note: I really like Nanyami as a character.

4th Liar: Never forget the fountain pen!! This guy is a bit of a tragedy, so I do have some sympathy, but imo that slap from MC was well-deserved.

5th Liar: I think the fandom unequivocally regards this one as complete garbage, and for very good reason. Still, I have to admit that their side stories appeal to my morbid side (it's like they're in a bizzarro world where MC's personality is completely erased). Also, I do find their character design very attractive - I'm not proud.

6th Liar: Umph. Definitely in my top tier along with 7th Liar. In terms of sheer chemistry with MC, I think this guy wins hands down. I'd be up for both seeing them walk away from the issue that makes them a Liar or embracing it.

7th Liar: They made me cry buckets. I love them with MC so much, and the way they're always smiling through their pain just makes my heart ache.

8th Liar: Out of all of the Liars, I felt that #8 was the most outright malicious. I just wasn’t convinced by the ending of his Lover’s Route. I know he's damn attractive, but wow, that attitude...

9th Liar: I really feel like the 9th Liar got the short end of the stick in the main story. His interactions with MC kept getting interrupted by unnecessary drama, and it felt like they never got the chance to really get to know each other. Also, LOVE Rumi!

"Mr. Right": It seems that people are really divided on this one. Some see him as the most precious cinnamon roll, but people have also told me that he comes off as a creepy stalker. (I've seen him  get called problematic more than once). I’m pretty sympathetic towards him myself, but I’d love to see your own take on him, whether romantic and sentimental or super dark.

ダウト～オフィス��男女の嘘だらけ～ | Doubt ~Ofisu wa Danjo no Uso Darake~ | Liar! Office Deception - Any Character

I love the Liar! sequel every bit as much as the original game. You can bet that I’m super hyped that Voltage is going to be releasing Lover’s Routes for it in the future. Office MC was very no-nonsense, and I would like to see what she would be like in the process of falling in love, or even just getting a chance to let her hair down and hang out with her coworkers.  

Prompts:

Post-game or redemption story revolving around any of the Liars, with the exception of the 2nd, 3rd and 5th. Ideally, this would end on a positive note with them being able to have a reciprocal friendship/romance with MC.

Office Battle! I was so amused by the Star Wars parody that kept popping up throughout the story and how everyone seemed to be totally into it except for MC, who’s just completely out of the loop. Maybe one of the Office Liars tries to teach her about the series or something like an Office Battle AU that’s basically Office Deception in space?

Narration of some part of the game from James’ POV. I loved MC’s cat and found it hilarious how she kept spoiling him at home while being so disciplined at the office.

Liar! Commentary:

1st Liar: Honestly, I thought they were super cute, and I wanted to see them make some more Cactaur cookies for MC.

2nd Liar: What a tool. I have to admit, I was amused by them sucking up to MC for the rest of the game after being found out.

3rd Liar: I thought they were going to be my 7th Liar 2.0, but N O P E. I found their backstory a little amusing, but they're just so slimy.

4th Liar: A real sweetheart. I love that they become MC's right-hand coworker after their chapter.

5th Liar: Not a fan of Rat Face McGee, tbh. Wtf, dude.

6th Liar: I have a weakness for "falling in love with the mark" scenarios and really wanted see it work out with this Liar. I also loved the idea of them going on to work for Uncover the Truth's 6th Liar, as was suggested in their Dumbass Ending and one of the sidestories.

7th Liar: DEEP SIGH. I love them despite their self-centered/obsessive actions. Will always be a fan of them pursuing MC, whether requited or not.

8th Liar: I like their kink, lol, and their accusation scene was hilarious. I really wish their behavior had been less invasive.

9th Liar: Just like with 6th Liar, I like to believe that they really cared for MC at the end. I think they were a perfect "Final Boss" for Office Deception especially compared to the more one-note villains. They did some horrible things to get what they wanted, even putting the 8th Liar in the hospital, but I’ve always wanted to see something that shows some of their inner conflict once they realize they’re hurting someone that has actually become a friend to them.

"Destined Partner": They've grown on me a bit, but one thing that definitely put me off was how they threw the 8th Liar under the bus during their route. (Sure, tell MC they've got a dirty secret and don't clarify at all as to what it is...) Seems like they're hiding a spiteful streak.

ダウト～セレブは華麗に嘘をつく～ | Doubt ~Serebu wa Karei ni Usowotsuku~ | Liar! Scheming Socialites - Any Character

I almost mistyped the title above as Liar! Screaming Socialites, but honestly that would be a pretty apt name for this game, because wow, does this cast go off the rails. The chapters are shorter than in previous routes, and MC is a bit more passive. I was worried this was going to be too "Gossip Girl" for my tastes, but I actually really enjoyed this one, even if my heart did get stomped on once again. (Loved the hyper Eurobeat accusation music - it was like something out of Initial D).  

Prompts:

Ship fic with MC and 8th or 9th Liar. Love triangle maybe? There's so much that was left unexplored at the end of the game. Would MC abandon her lifestyle or try win her parents over? Something based on one of the love endings would be great as well.

I also adore the potential Liar that turned out to be MC’s true BFF through thick and thin. I love how they're both anime fans and their favorite shows are clearly based on Touken Ranbu and Land of the Lustrous. Also, what exactly was BFF doing to test the 8th Liar during that awkward scene at the mountain resort in the 7th Liar chapter? I really wanted details on that, but it never got explained.

Okay headcanon: Given the similar detailing on their dresses, I think Kyoko and Reina shop at the same place. What would an interaction between them be like? Would they dish about their respective MCs?  

Liar! Commentary:

1st Liar: I have nothing but pity for this poor kid. Definitely see them still being friends with MC.

2nd Liar: Ick. One of my least favorite among all the Liars. Would like to see them get some comeuppance for their actions.

3rd Liar: This one hurt. Would really like to see them redeem themselves. Maybe they were secretly attracted to MC the whole time and just wanted to get her attention?

4th Liar: I enjoyed investigating their elaborate lie, but as a character they really fell flat for me.

5th Liar: WOW. That escalated quickly. I have to say, the 5th Liars in these games are probably the best fodder for something grim and disturbing. I think the implied rape in the bad ending was the darkest point in the entire series.

6th Liar: It felt like, with this Liar, Voltage was trying to have their cake and eat it too. Like, "Oh nooo, they're so kinky!" *wink wink* I actually really liked them despite their being the token kidnapper.  

7th Liar: I hated the way this Liar was presented. Their friendship with MC was really nice, but then it just had to get ruined.  

8th Liar: MC’s rejection of them was devastating to me. They really won me over despite the nature of their lie, and I really believed it when they claimed their feelings were sincere. For someone who was supposedly trying to con her, they did a hilariously bad job of it - like, they never tried to pressure her when she was vulnerable and even set up this really over-the-top charade just to make her happy, only for it to be what gets them exposed. It's almost like they were setting themselves up to fail. I really need a Lover's Route...

9th Liar: Surprise plot twist! This Liar was set up for some really interesting development which...did not happen. Would have loved to have seen more of their inner conflict. I ship them with MC the most after 8th Liar.

"Destined Partner": Definitely cute, but I found them to be rather pushy when they brought MC over to their place. Also, what ever happened to the pet rabbit?  

Thank you so much for your time! Hope you have a great rest of the year and a wonderful Yuletide.

[cwnerd12]

logistics

David drives up the the farm house, where Jessie stands waiting for him. As soon as he gets out of the car, she runs up and squeezes him in a tight hug, “Oh, David, baby, I can’t believe you’re here!” David hugs her back, “Hey, Mom.” The front door of the house, and Arthur’s two oldest boys, Hunter and Luke, come rushing out, “Uncle David!” Behind him, Arthur, his wife Margaret, (holding 1-year-old daughter Amy and pregnant with another), Ethan, Robert, and James all come out to greet David. Jack gets out and awkwardly stands aside while David is greeted with hugs by everyone. David steps back and says, “I want all you guys to meet Jack.” The excitement comes to an immediate halt. David, “I’m kind of in a relationship with him.” Ethan: “What the fuck, David?” Jessie, “Don’t use that kind of language!” Ethan, “What was all that about getting me convicted?!” Jack, “Actually-” David cuts him off, “It’s complicated. He was trying to save you. You just have to understand how King Silas thinks- it’s not like most people think.” Jessie gives Jack a good once-over. She goes up to him and hugs him, “Whatever happened, it’s in the past. We have too much in the present to worry about.” She steps back, “Come on, I’ll show you the house.” Jack casts a smile at David, and follows Jessie inside. Slowly, the brothers follow. James speaks to David in a low voice, “Why’d you have to bring Prince Jackoff?” David, “I wanted you to meet him!” Inside, Jack looks up at the embarrassing childhood photos, including one of the Shepherd boys lined up in front of a fence, wearing matching outfits. Jack, “Oh my god, is that David?” Jessie smiles and looks at the picture, “Yes. David was always the photogenic one. Ethan could never figure out how to smile for a camera.” Jack laughs, “Michelle and I never had pictures like this. We were royalty, not kids.” He glances back at David, who gives him a reassuring smile.

At dinner, the adults sit at the dining table. Arthur speaks in a low voice, “Sean was trying to leave the army, but ever since this whole treason mess, he has no idea what he’s supposed to do.” Jack, “He should stay in the army. It’s an extra layer of protection. Dad wouldn’t go after a soldier with a clean record, but he would go after a civilian.” Ethan, “He went after David.” Jack, “David’s David. The MSS is gonna be keeping an eye on Sean, but if he keeps his head down and follows orders, he shouldn’t get in any trouble. It was smart of him not to come here today. If he gets seen communicating with David at all, that could put him in jeopardy.” Jessie, “Can’t you buys talk about this later?” David, “We’re going back to Ashdod in the morning.” Margaret speaks up, “I’ve been considering sending the children to be with my parents in Nob. Hunter just started school and… they’re making him recite the Gath pledge.” Jack, “You can send them, but there’s no telling when you’d be able to see them after that. All the new border crossing restrictions aren’t gonna be lifted any time soon.” Arthur, “I’d rather send my kids off than see them become Phils.” Jessie, “Do you like the meatloaf, Jack?” Jack, “Every bit as delicious as David promised me.” James, “Compliment her meatloaf enough, Mom’ll be the one asking you to marry David.” David blushes furiously. James, “See, look at that, David’s blushing!” David, sheepishly, “Shut up, James.” Arthur, “What are you going to do with this whole rebellion thing?” David, “What?” Arthur, “I won’t send the kids to Gilboa if you’re gonna be leading a rebellion.” David, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t had any time at all to think about anything.” Jessie, “How are the green beans and mashed potatoes?”

(in the episode where everyone’s escaped into Ammon and David goes off to Royal Council)

David sits in his officer’s quarters, talking on his cell phone. His face reveals that this isn’t a call he wants to make. He speaks with a falsely cheerful voice, “Hi, Mom. I’m sorry I haven’t called you. I’ve uh, been kind of busy.” In her Moab condo, Jessie talks on a phone, tears of relief in her eyes, “David! I’ve been trying to contact you for weeks! You can’t just leave me in the dark like this, baby!” David, “Mom, if I don’t contact you, it's because doing so would put me and a whole lot of other people in danger. You heard what happened at Nob, right?” Jessie, “Oh, please don’t mention that to me!” David, “I’m sorry. Ethan, James, and Robert are here in Ammon with me, and we’re all in one piece, and safe, for now, at least.” Jessie, “Your brother, Sean, was hurt.” David, “What? How?” Jessie, “He got sent to the Ammon border.” David, “He’s administration, not combat!” Jessie, “There aren’t enough combat troops for both fronts, they’re putting everyone they can out there!” David, “How- how bad is it?” Jessie, “He lost an arm.” David, “What?” Jessie, “He’s still in the hospital, you need to call him!” David, “I can’t! That would put the both of us in a lot of danger!” Jessie, “Everything you do involved danger!” David, “It kind of comes with leading a rebellion! I don’t know what else to tell you!” Jessie, “Arthur’s been trying to go see him, but he’s not being let out of Gath!” David, “Mom, I’m sorry, but I really don't know what to tell you. There’s nothing I can do right now, and…” he sighs, “You’re not gonna want to hear this, but if Sean is hurt, it means he can’t fight, and that means he can’t be killed.” Jessie, “Don’t try to make this good!” David, “I kinda have to find good wherever I can find it. I’m sorry, but that's the reality of what I'm dealing with right now. But, it’s not all bad. I’m gonna be at Royal Council in a couple of weeks. I’m actually gonna sit at the table.” Jessie, “Really?” David, “Yeah. That's why I wanted to call you. Maybe I can negotiate something with Silas.” Jessie, “Oh, David, baby, you don’t have to. You already have too much that you’re responsible for.” David, “It doesn’t even have to be at Council, we can negotiate it privately.” Jessie, “I know, but… I doubt King Silas would do that.” David, “He would for a chance to see Michelle.” Jessie, “Whatever happens, happens. Just please stay in touch with me, okay?” David, “I will. I promise.”

(in the episode where David kills Amal and sets off all the bombs. Also, before this happens, the AFG has an app for keeping track of everyone where basically after every battle they go and check “safe.” Robert hasn’t checked in.)

David sits with Shay, Joel, Abby, and Isaiah, watching the news. David, “Is this my fault?” Abby, “No. All people are going to take away form this is that image of you beating the shit out of Alek Amal and then killing him.” David, “I’m not turning this into another hero moment.” Abby, “We don’t have to.” Joel looks at David’s new cast, “Hey, can we sign that thing?” David, “No dicks.” Joel, “What’s the point of signing a cast if you don’t draw dicks on it?” Abby gets up and goes over to a desk, “Where’s the pens?” She takes out a marker, and then goes over to David. Carefully, she draws a vagina on David’s cast and signs it love, Abby. David, “I said no dicks!” Abby, “It’s not a dick!” David, “No more genitalia, all right?!” Shay, Joel, and Isaiah all cackle. They pass the pen around and take turns signing the cast. James and Ethan enter. They both have red, wet eyes. Ethan, softly, “David.” David, watching Shay sign his cast, “Yeah, what?” Ethan, “Can we talk to you alone?” David casts nervous glances to Shay, Isaiah, Joel, and Abby, “Yeah, sure.” He doesn’t look at his brothers as the others leave. When the room is empty, he casts a nervous sideway glance at them, “What is it?” James, “It’s Robert.” David, “I know he hasn’t checked in yet, he may be injured.” James, “He’s dead.” David, “Look, if I have learned anything in this whole fucked up experience, it’s to never believe someone is dead until you see a fucking body.” Ethan, “There’s not going to be a body.” David looks at both of them, dread coursing throughout his body. James, “Someone told us- he was right next to one of the bombs.” David, “He could still just be wounded.” Ethan, “There’s footage. The whole warehouse was rigged with security cameras, they caught everything.” He holds his phone up. David, “I don’t want to see it!” He sits unnaturally still, staring forwards with eyes unfocused. David, “Who’s gonna tell Mom? We should do it before she sees it on the news.” Ethan, “We can do it together.” David nods stiffly, “Okay,” he takes a deep breath, “Let’s do it.”

David, Ethan and James sit in a small room. They have three chairs arranged together, and James sits in the middle still holding a cell phone. They all have red, swollen eyes and look exhausted. David gets up and walks over to a corner. He pushes his good hand through his hair, thinking deeply, “Guys I… I think you should maybe go to another safehouse. For safety. I- I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I don’t want you to be here if someone comes looking for me.” Ethan, “You mean like Abner? Fuck him. We’re sticking together.” David looks back at them, “Can you please just go? It would make it easier for me.” Ethan and James stare at him. James, “David, we need to stay together.” David, “Please. For fuck’s sake, please.” Ethan and James look at each other. Ethan, “All right. We’ll go to a new house in the morning.”

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[letthenexttrytheirluck]

“bee care full win yew ewes spell checque:?.”

– Pamela Pantsuit

“But the mere truth won’t do. You must have a lawyer.”

– Dr. Allan Woodcourt to the wrongly accused George Rouncewell, in Charles Dickens’s Bleak House

“It could have been prevented. That is the message [to pharmaceutical companies]. Respect us.”

– Juror Derrick Chizer, who voted against Merck in the first Vioxx case to go to trial, who said the 10 like-minded jurors believed a heart attack triggered the Plaintiff’s fatal arrhythmia.

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” (Dick the Butcher to Jack Cade in Henry VI, Part 2 (1592) act 4, sc. 2. – Shakespeare’s misquoted implication that lawyers stand in the way of tyranny.) – W. Shakespeare (1564-1616)

“I shall not rest until every German sees that it is a shameful thing to be a lawyer.” -Adolph Hitler

___________________________________________________________

“The future has several names. For the weak, it is impossible. For the fainthearted, it is unknown. For the thoughtful and valiant, it is ideal.”

-Victor Hugo

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“Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad.”

-Anonymous ancient proverb, wrongly attributed to Euripides. The version here is quoted as a “heathen proverb” in Daniel: A Model for Young Men (1854) by William Anderson Scott

“We love lawyers. If there weren’t any lawyers, there wouldn’t be any jokes!” -Click and Clack

“The life of the law has not been logic; it has been experience.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Where law ends, tyranny begins.” – William Pitt

“…Freedom of religion; freedom of the press, and freedom of person under the protection of the habeas corpus, and trial by juries impartially selected. These principles form the bright constellation which has gone before us and guided our steps through an age of revolution and reformation. The wisdom of our sages and the blood of our heros have been devoted to their attainment. They should be the creed of our political faith.” – Thomas Jefferson, First Inaugural Address (1801)

“For 500 years the West patented six killer applications that set it apart. The first to download them was Japan. Over the last century, one Asian country after another has downloaded these killer apps- competition, modern science, the rule of law and private property rights, modern medicine, the consumer society and the work ethic. Those six things are the secret sauce of Western civilization.” – Harvard historian Niall Ferguson, Civilization: The West and the Rest

“Fiat justitia ruat caelum.”

– Latin phrase meaning “Let justice be done though the heavens fall”; attributed to Lucius Calpurnius Piso Caesoninus, the father-in-law of Julius Caesar

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“As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and if no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever.”

– Clarence Darrow (1857-1938), prominent American lawyer

“Consider the reason of the case, for nothing is law that is not reason.” –  Sir John Powell

“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” -Atticus Finch, in Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird

“The jury system has come to stand for all we mean by English justice. The scrutiny of 12 honest jurors provides defendants and plaintiffs alike a safeguard from arbitrary perversion of the law.” -Winston Churchill

“The one governmental agency that has no ambition.” – Justice William O. Douglas, on the Supreme Court

“I consider trial by jury as the only anchor ever yet imagined by man, by which a government can be held to the principles of its constitution.” – Thomas Jefferson (1788)

“Laws are the sovereigns of sovereigns.” – Louis XIV

_____________________________________________________________

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”

– Edward Bulwer-Lytton

_____________________________________________________________

“What I want is a competent lawyer who will counsel me. … I also need him with me at my trial and in hearings. … I would also like to be able to sue him if I later conclude that I have been defectively or inadequately counseled, because I feel that I have received less than satisfactory service in the past. It occurs to me that … we each will feel as though we are caged with a rattlesnake: There is going to be mutual fear, mistrust, dislike, and a contest for dominance. I don’t consider it my fault, however.”

– Randall S. Boyd of Denton, TX, in a prose motion seeking appointment of counsel

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“To the wise, a word is sufficient.”

– Prince John Lackland, before the return of King Richard

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“Life’s real victories must be shared.” – Former President Bill Clinton on the passing of Former President Nelson Mandela

“There’s always room for a good lawyer.” – Milas Hale

“A law is valuable not because it is law, but because there is right in it.”

– Henry Ward Beecher

“If you want peace, work for justice” – Pope Paul VI

“Laws are the very bulkwarks of liberty; they define every man’s rights, and defend the individual liberties of all men.” – J.G. Holland

“Law is the embodiment of the moral sentiment of the people.” – William Blackstone

“When you’re up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut.” – Jack Beauregard, played by Henry Fonda. My Name is Nobody.

“The safety of the people shall be the highest law.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

“Plead the Fifth.” – Gary Vert

“Justice denied anywhere diminishes justice everywhere.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!” – Barry Goldwater

“Predicting coding algorithms are already able to do much of the legal research lawyers do. Before long, ‘there will be many thousands of lawyers out of work,’ one legal expert told Pew. Don’t all weep at once.”

– Rick Newman on the fate of lawyers, in his August 2014 article 28 Jobs Endangered by Technology, viaYahoo Finance

“Whereas the law is passionless, passion must ever sway the heart of man.” – Aristotle

“Every man is enthusiastic at times. One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another man has it for 30 days. But it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success in life.” – Edward B. Butler

“V. The next fpecies of trial is of great antiquity, but much difuted; though ftill in force if the parties chufe to abide by it: I mean the trial by wager of battel. This feems to have owed it’s original to the military fpirit of our anceftors, joined to a fuperftitious frame of mind; it being in the nature of an appeal to providence, under an apprehenfion and hope (however prefumptous and unwarrantable) that heaven would give the victory to him who had the right. The decifion of fuits, by this appeal to the God of battels, is by fome faid to have been invented by the Burgundi, one of the northern or German clans that planted themfelves in Gaul. And it is true, that the firft written injuction of judiciary combats that we meet with, is in the laws of Gundebald, A. D. 501, which are preferved in the Burgundian code. Yet it does not feem to have been merely a local cuftom of this or that particular tribe, but to have been the common ufage of all thofe warlike people from the earlieft times. And it may alfo feem from a paffage in Velleius Paterculus, that the Germans, when firft they became knwon to the Romans, were wont to decide all contefts of right by the fword: for when Quintilius Varus endeavoured to introduce among them the Roman laws and method of trial, it was looked upon (fays the hiftorian) as a “novitas incognitae difciplinae, ut folita armis “decerni, jure terminarentur.” And among the antient Goths in Sweden we find the practice of judiciary duels eftablifhed upon much the fame footing as they formerly were in our own country.”

-“A description of the “great antiquity” of “the trial by wager of battle” from Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England, Volume III, p. 337 (1768)

“A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.” – early-19th century proverb found in Henry Kett’s The flowers of wit, or a choice collection of bon mots (1814)

“All bad precedents begin with justifiable measures.” – Julius Ceasar – Sallust’s Bellum Catilinae, J.T. Ramsey ed (1984)

“The spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure that it is right…” – Judge Learned Hand

“I think the first duty of society is justice.” – Alexander Hamilton

“Tremble, all ye oppressors of the world! – Richard Price

“Remember always that all of us…are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else.” – Clarence Darrow

“A majority held in restraint by constitutional checks and limitations…is the only true sovereign of a free people. Whoever rejects it does of necessity fly to anarchy or to despotism.” – Abraham Lincoln

“When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.” – Cicero

“Beware the smoke screen!” – Gary Vert

“Right… is the child of law.” – Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832)

“I wholly disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” – S.G. Tallentyre, The Friends of Voltaire (1906)

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Argument weak; speak loudly!”

– a handwritten note by Theodore Roosevelt in the margins of one of his speeches

“When it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.”

– G. K. Chesterton, speaking of society

“By obliging men to turn their attention to other affairs than their own, it rubs off that private selfishness which is the rust of society.” – de Tocqueville on jury service

“It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, a power to destroy; because there is a limit beyond which no institution and no property can bear taxation.”

– Chief Justice John Marshall

“These are the times that try men’s souls.”

– Thomas Paine, “The Crises” (published after Washington’s army had to retreat from Long Island to Breucklyn)

“Take to the study of the law. Possession is nine points of it, which thou hast of me. Self-possession is the tenth . . .”

– R.D. Blackmore, Lorna Doone

“Come now, and let us reason together . . .” – The Song of Solomon – Isaiah

The wisdom of our sages and the blood of our heroes has been devoted to the attainment of trial by jury. It should be the creed of our political faith. -Thomas Jefferson First Inaugural Address 1801

“There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” –Washington Irving (1783-1859)

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” – Author Unknown

“Very few souls are saved after the first five minutes of the sermon.” – Mark Twain

“The law is reason free from passion.” -Aristotle

SIR EDWARD COKE (1552-1634)

“Reason is the life of the law; nay, the common law itself is nothing else but reason…The law, which is perfection of reason.” – First Institute [1628]

“For a man’s house is his castle, et domus sua cuique tutissimum refugium.” – Third Institute [1644]

“The house of everyone is to him as his castle and fortress, as well for his defense against injury and violence as for his repose.” – Semayne’s Case. 5 Report 91

“They [corporations] cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed nor excommunicate, for they have no souls.” – Case of Sutton’s Hospital. 10 Report 32

“Learn to do right; seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” – The Song of Solomon – Isaiah 1:17

“The Seventh Amendment to the Constitution of the United States: ‘In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.’”

“Now see that noble and most sovereign reason, Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh. -Shakespeare: Hamlet III, i, 162

“Lincoln’s image is sometimes invoked as a model for lawyer advertising, with his advertising having been the feature of at least one recent television campaign for legal services. Other times, he, obviously, is advanced as the highest example of professionalism. He is probably an excellent illustration of the ability of a lawyer in that era to combine aspects of commercialism, competence and dignity in the practice of law.” -American Bar Association, Commission on Advertising, Lawyer Advertising at the Crossroads: Professional Policy Considerations 31-32 (1995).

“Our reason is our law.” -Milton: Paradise Lost, bk. IX, l. 652

“The sleep of reason produces monsters [El sueño de la razón produce monstruos].” – Francisco José de Goya y Lucientes: Los Caprichos [1799]. Plate 43¹

“Education is what you get by reading the fine print; experience is what you get if you don’t read it.”

– from The Furrow, Volume 119, Issue 6

Judge: “Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror on this case?”

Juror: “I don’t want to be away from my job that long.”

Judge: “Can’t they do without you at work?”

Juror: “Certainly, but I don’t want them to know it.”

– from The Furrow, Volume 119, Issue 6

“Lawyers are like other people — fools on the average; but it is easier for an ass to succeed in that trade than any other.”

– Mark Twain

“Man is a reasoning animal.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca: Epistles, 41,8

“Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.” – Wendell Phillips (1811-1884), abolitionist, orator and columnist for The Liberator, in a speech before the Massachusetts Antislavery Society in 1852.

“Woe to those who enact unjust statutes and who write oppressive decrees, depriving the needy of judgment and robbing my peoples’ poor of their rights, making widows their plunder, and orphans their prey.” – Isaiah 10:1-2.

“Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” – Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968, American Attorney General, Senator)

“About half the practice of a decent lawyer consists in telling would-be clients that they are damned fools and should stop.” – Elihu Root

“A crooked thing is ruined and fit only to ruin everything else. (Chose tournée est corrumpue et propre à tout faire tourner par suite.)”

– Guillaume le Maréchal, III, 170

“[The law] is a jealous mistress, and requires a long and constant courtship. It is not to be won by trifling favors, but by lavish homage.” The Value and Importance of Legal Studies – Joseph Story, (1779-1845)

“All the sovereigns who have chosen to govern by their own authority, and to direct society instead of obeying its directions, have destroyed or enfeebled the institution of the jury. The Tudor monarchs sent to prison jurors who refused to convict, and Napoleon caused them to be selected by his agents.” “The institution of the jury, if confined to criminal causes, is always in danger; but when once it is introduced into civil proceedings, it defies the aggressions of time and man. If it had been as easy to remove the jury from the customs as from the laws of England, it would have perished under the Tudors, and the civil jury did in reality at that period save the liberties of England.” – de Tocqueville on civil jury trials

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.” – origin unknown; attributed to several sources but made especially popular by Mark Twain’s Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review

“Statistician. A person who draws a mathematically precise line between an unwarranted assumption and a foregone conclusion.” – author unknown

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The law is the last result of human wisdom acting upon human experience for the benefit of the public.” – Samuel Johnson

“It is a fair summary of history to say that the safeguards of liberty have frequently been forged in controversies involving not very nice people.” – Justice Felix Frankfurter, dissenting, United States v. Rabinowitz (1950)

“I used to say that, as Solicitor General, I made three arguments of every case. First came the one that I planned–as I thought, logical, coherent, complete. Second was the one actually presented–interrupted, incoherent, disjointed, disappointing. The third was the utterly devastating argument that I thought of after going to bed that night.” – Robert H. Jackson, Advocacy Before the Supreme Court (1951)

“Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.” – Arthur T. Vanderbilt

“To be a successful contingency attorney requires three things: 1). Accept only good cases; 2). Settle the good cases; and 3). Try the rest.”

– Gary Vert

“And do as adversaries do in law –

Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends. – William Shakespeare: The Taming of the Shrew – Act 1 Scene 2

“It usually takes three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” – Mark Twain

“Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.” – President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1952

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow; that is the whole Law: the rest is interpretation.” – Hillel (30 B.C.- 10.A.D.) Source: Talm

Seek justice for all . . . Champion the cause of those who deserve redress for injury to personal property . . . Promote the public good through concerted efforts to secure safe products, a safe work place, a clean environment, and quality healthcare . . . Further the rule of law in a civil justice system, and protect the rights of the accused . . . Advance the common law and the finest traditions of jurisprudence . . . and uphold the honor and dignity of the legal profession and the highest standards of ethical conduct and integrity. – Mission Statement – Association of Trial Lawyers of America

“He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers. He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation: . . . For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:” – List of Colonists’ Grievances against King George III, Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776

“The law must have the last word.” – French President Jacques Chirac in response to rioters in France November 6, 2005

“The study of law is sublime, and its practice vulgar.” – Oscar Wilde

“No man is above the law and no man below it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“Justice is conscience, not a personal conscience but the conscience of the whole humanity. Those who clearly recognize the voice of their own conscience usually also recognize the voice of justice.” – Alexander Solzhenitsyn

“Simple is good.” – Jim Henson

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – – deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth – – persistent, persuasive, unrealistic.” – John F. Kennedy

“As citizens of this democracy, you are the rulers and the ruled, the law-givers and the law-abiding, the beginning and the end.” – Adlai Ewing Stevenson

“It is better to risk saving a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one.” – Voltaire, Zadig, 1747

“Our defense is not in our armaments, nor in science, nor in going underground. Our defense is in law and order.” – Albert Einstein

“Unkindness has no remedy at law.” – Thomas Fuller (1654 – 1734) comp., Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs,5402, 1732.

“The precepts of the law are these: to live honestly, to injure no one, and to give everyone his due.” Justinian I (482/483-565). – Justinian Code, A.D. 533.

“There shall be one law for the native and for the stranger who sojourns among you.” Moses (14th Century B.C.). – Exodus 12:49

“They that make laws must not break them.” – John Ray (1628 – 1705). Comp., A Collection of English Proverbs, p. 166, 1678.

“Ignorance of the law excuses no man, not that all men know the law, but ’tis an excuse every man will plead and no man can tell how to confute him.” – John Selden (1584 – 1654). “LAW” (2), Table Talk, 1689, ed. Frederick Pollock, 1927.

“Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Lord Mansfield (1705 – 1793). – Corporation of Kingston – upon – Hull v. Horner, 1774.

“The success of any legal system is measured by its fidelity to the universal ideal of justice.” Earl Warren (1891 – 1974). “The Law and the Future,” – Fortune Magazine, November 1955.

“Lawyers with a weakness for seeing the merits of the other side end up being employed by neither.” – Richard J. Barnet (1929 – 2004). Roots of War. 3.3, 1971.

Saying

(Latin): The law is not concerned with trifles.

The more laws, the less justice.

Where the law is uncertain, there is no law.

(Spanish): One lawyer makes work for another.

(German): A lawyer and a wagon wheel must be well greased.

“It is unwise to pay too much but it is worse to pay too little. When you pay too much you lose a little money. When you pay too little you sometimes lose everything because the thing you bought was incapable of doing the thing it was bought to do. The common sense law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot. It can’t be done.” – John Ruskin

“When law and nature collide, nature usually wins.” – Forrest Reynolds, June 1, 2012, on discussing the verdict in the John Edwards case

“Lawyers are just like physicians; what one says the other contradicts. -Sholem Aleiche

“One thing I have learned from this experience is that it is hard to keep an audience attentive and involved with a “speech,” but it’s easy if you tell a story that involves your listeners and inspires them with a memorable moral.”

– Jim M. Perdue

“He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.” -Charles Lamb

“You get a reasonable doubt for a reasonable price.” -Criminal attorney’s saying

“Lawyers help those who help themselves.” -Anonymous

“It is true that, of the people of my Gracious Prince here, some out of all offices and faculties must be executed: clerics, electoral councilors and doctors, city officials, court assessors, several of whom Your Grace knows. There are law students to be arrested. … The notary of our Church consistory, a very learned man, was yesterday arrested and put to the torture. In a word, a third part of the city is surely involved. The richest, most attractive, most prominent of the clergy are already executed. … I have seen put to death children of seven, promising students of ten, twelve, fourteen, and fifteen.” –A Letter from Würzburg (1629), reprinted in Witchcraft in Europe 400-1700353-54 (Alan Charles Kors and Edward Peters eds., University of Pennsylvania Press, 2001)

“Lawyers are a learned class of very ignorant men.”

-Erasmus, Dutch philosopher and theologian

“I am not afraid of lawyers as I used to be. They are lambs in wolves’ clothing.” -Edna St. Vincent Millay

“If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.” -Mark Twain

“‘Curio vult advisari,’ as the lawyers say; which means, ‘Let us have another glass, and then we can think about it.'”

– R.D. Blackmore, Lorna Doone

[Curia advisari vult is a Latin legal term meaning “the court wishes to consider the matter” (literally, “the court wishes to be advised”), a term reserving judgment until some subsequent day. It often appears in case reports, abbreviated as “Cur. adv. vult”, or sometimes “c.a.v.” or “CAV”, when the bench takes time for deliberation after hearing counsel’s submissions.]

“Law is the second oldest profession.” -Anonymous

“Thus tis we say though quite uncivil, A cunning lawyer beats the devil!” -Early American Rhyme

“Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.” -Montesquieu

“May you have a lawsuit in which you know you are right.” -Spanish Gypsy curse

“He that loves the law will get his fill of it.” -Scottish proverb

“There is no man so good, who, were he to submit all his thoughts and actions to the laws would not deserve hanging ten times in his life.” -Michel de Montaigne

“He wastes his tears who weeps before the judge.” -Italian proverb

“That one hundred and fifty lawyers should do business together ought not to be expected.” -Thomas Jefferson (referring to the U.S. Congress)

“Love all men – except lawyers.” -Irish proverb

“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice” – Proverbs 13:10

“I, Lucius Titus, have written this my testament without any lawyer, following my own natural reason rather than excessive and miserable diligence.” -The will of a citizen of Rome

“They do tricks even I can’t figure out.” -Harry Houdini

“If it weren’t for the lawyers we wouldn’t need them.” -William Jennings Bryan

“Great management decisions make themselves” -Bob Howe

“The very definition of a good award is that it gives dissatisfaction to both parties.” – Goodman C. Sayers

“Our holding will be spelled out with some specificity in the pages which follow but briefly stated it is this: the prosecution may not use statements, whether exculpatory or inculpatory, stemming from custodial interrogation of the defendant unless it demonstrates the use of procedural safeguards effective to secure the privilege against self-incrimination. By custodial interrogation, we mean questioning initiated by law enforcement officers after a person has been taken into custody or otherwise deprived of his freedom of action in any significant way.” – Earl Warren, Miranda v. Arizona, 384 U.S. 436, 444 (1966)

“The power of a sonorous phrase to command uncritical acceptance has often been encountered in the law.” – Calvert Magruder, “Mental and Emotional Disturbance in the Law of Torts,” 49 Harvard -Law Review 1033, 1033 (1936)

“I left law school more than 40 years ago, and I still have that dream – and not infrequently.” – Paul Kelly on anxiety-producing exams

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for the court? Flower Bell Lee [played by Mae West]: No, I’m doing my best to hide it. – Mae West and W.C. Fields, My Little Chickadee (screenplay), 1940, quoted in The Wit and Wisdom of Mae West 51 (Joseph Weintraub ed. 1970)

“A cent or a pepper corn, in legal estimation, would constitute a valuable consideration.” – Nicholas Emery, Whitney v. Stearns, 16 Me. 394, 397 (1839)

“But there is one way in this country in which all men are created equal-there is one human institution that makes a pauper the equal of a Rockefeller, the stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentlemen, is a court. It can be the Supreme Court of the United State or the humblest J.P. court in the land, or this honorable court which you serve. Our courts have their faults, as does any human institution, but in this country our courts are the great levelers, and in our courts all men are created equal.” – Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird 218 (1960)

“It is not enough to say, that in the opinion of the court, the damages are too high and that we would have given much less. It is the judgment of the jury, and not the judgment of the court, which is to assess the damages in actions for personal torts and injuries….The damages, therefore, must be so excessive as to strike mankind, at first blush, as being beyond all measure, unreasonable and outrageous, and such as manifestly show the jury to have been actuated by passion, partiality, prejudice, or corruption. In short, the damages must be flagrantly outrageous and extravagant, or the court cannot undertake to draw the line; for they have no standard by which to ascertain the excess.” – James Kent, Coleman v. Southwick, 9 Johns. 45, 51-52 (N.Y. 1818)

“More truly characteristic of dissent is a dignity, an elevation, of mood and thought and phrase. Deep conviction and warm feeling are saying their last say with knowledge that the cause is lost. The voice of the majority may be that of force triumphant, content with the plaudits of the hour, and recking little of the morrow. The dissenter speaks to the future, and his voice is pitched to a key that will carry through the years.” – Benjamin N. Cardozo, Law and Literature 36 (1931)

It shall be unlawful for any teacher in any of the Universitis [sic], Normals and all other public schools of the State which are supported in whole or in part by the public school funds of the State, to teach any theory that denies the story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible, and to teach instead that man has descended from a lower order of animals. – Act of Mar. 13, 1925, ch. 27, § 1, 1925 Tenn. Pub. Acts 50, 50-51

“A grand jury would ‘indict a ham sandwich,’ if that’s what you wanted.” – Tom Wolfe (quoting New York State chief judge Sol Wachtler) in The Bonfire of the Vanities

“If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach it in the public school, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the private schools, and the next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the hustings or in the church. At the next session you may ban books and the newspapers. Soon you may set Catholic against Protestant and Protestant against Protestant, and try to foist your own religion upon the minds of men. If you can do one you can do the other. Ignorance and fanaticism is ever busy and needs feeding. Always it is feeding and gloating for more. Today it is the public school teachers, tomorrow the private. The next day the preachers and the lecturers, the magazines, the books, the newspapers. After while, your honor, it is the setting of man against man and creed against creed until with flying banners and beating drums we are marching backward to the glorious ages of the sixteenth century when bigots lighted fagots to burn the men who dared to bring any intelligence and enlightment and culture to the human mind.” – Clarence S. Darrow, Speech at Scopes Trial, Dayton, Tenn., 13 July 1925, in The World’s Most Famous Court Trial 87 (1925)

“Those who want the Government to regulate matters of the mind and spirit are like men who are so afraid of being murdered that they commit suicide to avoid assassination.” – Harry S. Truman, Address at the National Archives, Washington, D.C., 15 Dec., 1952, in Public Papers of the Presidents: Harry S. Truman, 1952-53, at 1077, 1079 (1966)

“Since the earliest days philosophers have dreamed of a country where the mind and spirit of man would be free; where there would be no limits to inquiry; where men would be free to explore the unknown and to challenge the most deeply rooted beliefs and principles. Our First Amendment was a bold effort to adopt this principle – to establish a country with no legal restrictions of any kind upon the subjects people could investigate, discuss and deny. The Framers knew, better perhaps than we do today, the risks they were taking. They knew that free speech might be the friend of change and revolution. But they also knew that it is always the deadliest enemy of tyranny. With this knowledge they still believed that the ultimate happiness and security of a nation lies in its ability to explore, to change, to grow and ceaselessly to adapt itself to new knowledge born of inquiry free from any kind of governmental control over the mind and spirit of man. Loyalty comes from love of good government, not fear of a bad one.” – Hugo L. Black, “The Bill of Rights,” 35 New York University Law Review 865, 880-81 (1960)

“The issue of a cause rarely depends upon a speech and is but seldom even affected by it. But there is never a cause contested, the result of which is not mainly dependent upon the skill with which the advocate conducts his cross-examination.”

. . .

“A good advocate should be a good actor. The most cautious cross-examiner will often elicit a damaging answer. Now is the time for the greatest self-control. If you show by your face how the answer hurt, you may lose your case by that one point alone. How often one sees the cross-examiner fairly staggered by such an answer. He pauses, perhaps blushes, and after he has allowed the answer to have its full effect, finally regains his self-possession, but seldom his control of the witness…..” – “Francis Wellman” “The Art of Cross-Examination (1903, 1904)”

“The practice of law is a busyness.” -Gary Vert

“We can imagine . . . no better way to counter a flag-burner’s message than by saluting the flag that burns. . . We do not consecrate the flag by punishing its desecration, for in doing so we dilute the freedom that this cherished emblem represents.” – William J. Brennan, Jr. Texas v. Johnson, 109 S. Ct. 2533, 2547-48 (1989)

“It is a pleasant world we live in, sir, a very pleasant world. There are bad people in it, Mr. Richard, but if there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.” – Charles Dickens, The Old Curiosity Shop

“You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man’s freedom. You can only be free if I am free.” – Clarence S. Darrow, Address to jury, Communist Trial, 1920, in Attorney for the Damned 121, 140 (Arthur Weinberg ed. 1957)

“And I honor the man who is willing to sink Half his present repute for the freedom to think, And, when he has thought, be his cause strong or weak, Will risk t’ other half for the freedom to speak.” – James Russell Lowell, “A Fable for Critics,” 1848, in Complete Poetical Works of James Russell Lowell 114, 136 (Horace E. Scudder ed. 1925)

“The wisest thing to do with a fool is to encourage him to hire a hall and discourse to his fellow-citizens. Nothing chills nonsense like exposure to the air.” – Woodrow Wilson, Constitutional Government in the United States 38 (1908)

“That the freedom of the press is one of the great bulwarks of liberty, and can never be restrained but by despotic governments.” – Virginia Declaration of Rights of 1776, § 12, in Federal and State Constitutions 7:3812, 3814 (Francis N. Thorpe ed. 1909)

“Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.” – A.J. Liebling, “The Wayward Press: Do you belong in Journalism?” New Yorker, 14 May 1960, at 105, 109

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” – Martin Luther King, Jr., “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” 16 Apr. 1963, in Why We Can’t Wait 77, 79 (1964)

“We disclaim altogether any jurisdiction in the courts of the United States upon the subject of divorce, or for the allowance of alimony.” – James M. Wayne, Barber v. Barber, 62 U.S. (21 How.) 582, 584 (1858)

“That in controversies respecting property, and in suits between man and man, the ancient trial by jury is preferable to any other, and ought to be held sacred.” – Virginia Declaration of Rights of 1776, § 11, in Federal and State Constitutions 7:3812, 3814 (Francis N. Thorpe ed. 1909)

“Where there is Hunger, Law is not regarded; and where Law is not regarded, there will be Hunger.” – Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack, 1755, in Papers of Benjamin Franklin 5:472 (Leonard W. Labaree ed. 1962)

“Ignorance of the law is no excuse in any country. If it were, the laws would lose their effect, because it can always be pretended.” – Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Andre Limozin, 22 Dec. 1787, in Papers of Thomas Jefferson 12:451 (Julian P. Boyd ed. 1955)

“I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution.” – Ulysses S. Grant, First Inaugural Address, 4 Mar. 1869, in Messages and Papers of the Presidents 7:6, 6 (James D. Richardson ed. 1898)

“Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling never fails of employment in it.” – Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Peter Carr, 22 June 1792, in Writings of Thomas Jefferson 6:92 (Paul L. Ford ed. 1895)

“Our profession is good, if practiced in the spirit of it; it is damnable fraud and iniquity when its true spirit is supplied by a spirit of mischief-making and money catching.” – Daniel Webster, Letter to James Hervey Bingham, 19 Jan. 1806, in Papers of Daniel Webster: Legal Papers 1.69

[When advised not to become a lawyer because the profession was overcrowded:] “There is always room at the top.” – Daniel Webster, quoted in Edward Latham, Famous Sayings and Their Authors 65 (1904)

“Whatever their failings as a class may be, and however likely to lose their immortal souls, lawyers do not generally lose papers.” – Arthur Train, “Hocus-Pocus,” in Tut, Tut! Mr. Tutt 119, 120 (1923)

“Look well to the right of you, look well to the left of you, for one of you three won’t be here next year.” – Edward H. Warren, quoted in W. Barton Leach, “Look Well to the Right…,” 58 Harvard Law Review 1137, 1138 (1945)

On one occasion a student made a curiously inept response to a question from Professor Warren. “The Bull” roared at him, “You will never make a lawyer. You might just as well pack up your books now and leave the school.” The student rose, gathered his notebooks, and started to leave, pausing only to say in full voice, “I accept your suggestion, Sir, but I do not propose to leave without giving myself the pleasure of telling you to go plumb straight to Hell.” “Sit down, Sir, sit down,” said “The Bull.” “Your response makes it clear that my judgment was too hasty.” – Joseph N. Welch, “Edward Henry Warren,” 58 Harvard Law Review 1134, 1136 (1945)

“They have a proverb here [in London], which I do not know how to account for ; – in speaking of a difficult point, they say, it would puzzle a Philadelphia lawyer*.” – “A Humorous Description of the Manners and Fashions of London; in a Letter from a Citizen of America to his Correspondent in Philadelphia,” 2 Columbian Magazine 181, 182 (1788) *This is the earliest known usage of the phrase Philadelphia lawyer to mean “a shrewd lawyer expert in legal technicalities.” This term may have been inspired by Philadelphia attorney Andrew Hamilton’s successful defense of John Peter Zenger in a New York court in 1735.

Searching for quotations on lawyers, I found this on your site:

“They have a proverb here [in London], which I do not know how to account for ; – in speaking of a difficult point, they say, it would puzzle a Philadelphia lawyer*.”

– “A Humorous Description of the Manners and Fashions of London; in a Letter from a Citizen of America to his Correspondent in Philadelphia,” 2 Columbian Magazine 181, 182 (1788) *This is the earliest known usage of the phrase Philadelphia lawyer to mean “a shrewd lawyer expert in legal technicalities.” This term may have been inspired by Philadelphia attorney Andrew Hamilton’s successful defense of John Peter Zenger in a New York court in 1735.

There is a much earlier use of “Philadelphia lawyer”. The Gospel of Luke, in KJV, refers to “a certain lawyer” who asked “Who is my neighbor?” [“To whom do I owe a duty of care?”] Other translations say that “the lawyer of Philadelphia” asked this question. The city called Philadelphia in Bible times is the city now known as Amman, Jordan.

I learned this in New Testament Studies at Pacific Lutheran University here in Tacoma, Washington.

Theresa Tilton, Attorney at Law

************************************** Luke 10:25-37 (King James Version) King James Version (KJV)

And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live. But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour? And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

“Let me not be thought as intending anything derogatory to the profession of the law, or to the distinguished members of that illustrious order. Well am I aware that we have in this ancient city innumerable worthy gentlemen, the knights-errant of modern days, who go about redressing wrongs and defending the defenseless, not for the love of filthy lucre, nor the selfish cravings of renown, but merely for the pleasure of doing good. Sooner would I throw this trusty pen into the flames and cork up my ink bottle forever, than infringe even for a nail’s breadth upon the dignity of these truly benevolent champions of the distressed. On the contrary, I allude merely to those caitiff scouts who, in these latter days of evil, infest the skirts of the profession, as did the recreant Cornish knights of yore the honorable order of chivalry, – who under its auspices, commit flagrant wrongs, – who thrive by quibbles, by quirks and chicanery, and like vermin increase the corruption in which they are engendered.” – Washington Irving, The History of New York 261-62 (1868) (1809)

“A French observer is surprised to hear how often an English or an American lawyer quotes the opinions of others, and how little he alludes to his own; … This abnegation of his own opinion, and this implicit deference to the opinion of his forefathers, which are common to the English and American lawyer, this servitude of thought which he is obliged to profess, necessarily give him more timid habits and more conservative inclinations in England and America than in France.” – Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America 1:353 (Francis Bowen trans. 1862) (1835)

“The good judge is not he who does hair-splitting justice to every allegation, but who, aiming at substantial justice, rules something intelligible for the guidance of suitors. The good lawyer is not the man who has an eye to every side and angle of contingency, and qualifies all his qualifications, but who throws himself on your part so heartily that he can get you out of a scrape.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Power,” The Conduct of Life, 1860, in Complete Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson 6:53, 76 (1904)

“Your law may be perfect, your knowledge of human affairs may be such as to enable you to apply it with wisdom and skill, and yet without individual acquaintance with men, their haunts and habits, the pursuit of the profession becomes difficult, slow, and expensive. A lawyer who does not know men is handicapped.” – Louis D. Brandeis, Letter to William H. Dunbar, 2 Feb. 1893, in Letters of Louis D. Brandeis 1:108 (Melvin I. Urofsky and David W. Levy eds. 1971)

“Courage is the most important attribute of a lawyer. It is more important than competence or vision. It can never be an elective in any law school. It can never be de-limited, dated or outworn, and it should pervade the heart, the halls of justice and the chambers of the mind.” – Robert F. Kennedy, Speech at University of San Francisco Law School, San Francisco, 29 Sept. 1962, quoted in Sue G. Hall, The Quotable Robert F. Kennedy 111 (1967)

“One hires lawyers as on hires plumbers, because one wants to keep one’s hands off the beastly drains.” – Amanda Cross, The Question of Max 61 (1976)

“Send lawyers, guns and money, the shit has hit the fan.” – Warren Zevon, “Lawyers, Guns and Money’ (song) (1978)

“Some debts are not to be reckoned.” – Thomas Cromwell, played by Mark Rylance, on PBS’s Wolf Hall, Season 1 Episode 2 (2015)

“The lawyers’ contribution to the civilizing of humanity is evidenced in the capacity of lawyers to argue furiously in the courtroom, then sit down as friends over a drink or dinner. This habit is often interpreted by the layman as a mark of their ultimate corruption. In my opinion, it is their greatest moral achievement: It is a characteristic of humane tolerance that is most desperately needed at the present time.”

– John R. Silber, quoted in Wall Street Journal, 16 Mar. 1972, at 14

“Anyone who believes a better day dawns when lawyers are eliminated bears the burden of explaining who will take their place. Who will protect the poor, the injured, the victims of negligence, the victims of racial violence?” – John J. Curtin, Jr., Remarks to American Bar Association, Atlanta, 13 Aug. 1991, quoted in Time, 26 Aug. 1991, at 54

“Lawyers, Preachers, and Tomtits Eggs, there are more of them hatch’d than come to perfection.” – Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack, 1734, in Papers of Benjamin Franklin 1:354 (Leonard W. Labaree ed. 1959)

“I should apologize, perhaps, for the style of this bill. I dislike the verbose and intricate style of the English statutes, and in our revised code I endeavored to restore it to the simple one of the ancient statues, in such original bills as I drew in that work. I suppose the reformation has not been acceptable, as it has been little followed. You, however, can easily correct this bill to the taste of my brother lawyers, by making every other word a “said” or “aforesaid,” and saying everything over two or three times, so that nobody but we of the craft can untwist the diction, and find out what it means; and that, too, not so plainly but that we may conscientiously divide one half on each side. Mend it, therefore, in form and substance to the orthodox taste, and make it what it should be; or, if you think it radically wrong, try something else, and let us make a beginning in some way. No matter how wrong, experience will amend it as we go along, and make it effectual in the end.” – Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Joseph C. Cabell, 9 Sept. 1817, in Writings of Thomas Jefferson 17:417-18 (Andrew A. Lipscomb ed. 1904)

“There are two things wrong with almost all legal writing. One is its style. The other is its content.” – Fred Rodell, “Goodbye to Law Reviews,” 23 Virginia Law Review 38, 38 (1936)

“Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.” – Mark Twain, “The Gorky Incident,” 1906, in Mark Twain: Letters From the Earth 155, 156 (Bernard De Voto ed. 1939)

“What we need to do is to stop passing laws. We have enough laws now to govern the world for the next 10,000 years. Every crank who has a foolish notion that he would like to impose upon everybody else hastens to some legislative body and demands that it be graven upon the statutes. Every fanatic who wants to control his neighbor’s conduct is here or at some other legislative body demanding that a law be passed to regulate that neighbor’s conduct.” – James A. Reed, in 67 Congressional Record 10,708 (1926)

“The government of the United States has been emphatically termed a government of laws, and not of men. It will certainly cease to deserve this high appellation, if the laws furnish no remedy for the violation of a vested legal right.” – Chief Justice John Marshall, Marbury v. Madison 5 U.S. (1 Cranch) 137, 163 (1803) See also OBEDIENCE TO LAW 2, OBEDIENCE TO LAW 3

“In the United States, every one is personally interested in enforcing the obedience of the whole community to the law; for as the minority may shortly rally the majority to its principles, it is interested in professing that respect for the decrees of the legislator which it may soon have occasion to claim for its own. However irksome an enactment may be, the citizen of the United States complies with it, not only because it is the work of the majority, but because it is his own, and he regards it as a contract to which he is himself a party. ” – Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America 1:317 (Francis Bowen trans. 1862) (1835)

“As [a citizen] is a “law-maker,” he should not be a “law-breaker,” for he ought to be conscious that every departure from the established ordinances of society is an infraction of his rights. His power can only be maintained by the supremacy of the laws, as in monarchies, the authority of the king is asserted by obedience to his orders. The citizen in lending a cheerful assistance to the ministers of the law, on all occasions, is merely helping to maintain his own power. This feature in particular, distinguishes the citizen from the subject.” – James Fenimore Cooper, The American Democrat 83 (1956) (1838)

“A very wise father once remarked, that in the government of his children, he forbade as few things as possible; a wise legislation would do the same. It is folly to make laws on subjects beyond human prerogative, knowing that in the very nature of things they must be set aside. To make laws that man can not and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. It is very important in a republic, that the people should respect the laws, for if we throw them to the winds, what becomes of civil government?” – Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Address before 10th National Woman’s rights Convention, New York, May 1860, in History of Woman Suffrage 1:716, 721 (Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, and Matilda J. Gage eds. 1881)

“The words which are criticized as dirty [in James Joyce’s Ulysses] are old Saxon words known to almost all men and, I venture, to many women, and are such words as would be naturally and habitually used, I believe, by the types of folk whose life, physical, and mental, Joyce is seeking to describe. In respect of the recurrent emergence of the theme of sex in the minds of his characters, it must always be remembered that his locale was Celtic and his season spring.” – John M. Woolsey, United States v. One Book Called “Ulysses,” 5 F. Supp. 182, 183-84 (S.D.N.Y. 1933)

[Standard for obscenity:]” Whether to the average person, applying contemporary community standards, the dominant theme of the material taken as a whole appeals to prurient interest.” – William J. Brennan, Jr. Roth v. United States, 354 U.S. 476, 489 (1957)

“I have reached the conclusion . . . that under the First and Fourteenth Amendments criminal laws in this area [obscenity] are constitutionally limited to hard-core pornography. I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know if when I see it; and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.” – Potter Stewart, Jacobellis v. Ohio, 378 U.S. 184, 197 (1964) (concurring)

“The First Amendment guarantees liberty of human expression in order to preserve in our Nation what Mr. Justice Holmes called a “free trade in ideas.” To that end, the Constitution protects more than just a man’s freedom to say or write or publish what he wants. It secures as well the liberty of each man to decide for himself what he will read and to what he will listen. The Constitution guarantees, in short, a society of free choice.” – Potter Stewart, Ginsberg v. New York, 390 U.S. 629, 649 (1968) (concurring)

“The term “f—–g pigs” in the context in which it was used referred not to copulation of porcine animals but was rather a highly insulting epithet directed to the police officers…..Appellant’s use of the vulgarism describing the filial partner in an oedipal relationship is fairly to be viewed as an epithet rather than as a phrase appealing to a shameful or morbid interest in intra-family sex….There is, after all, a strong possibility that an expert witness called in the matter before us might have testified to the occasional use of the offending profane adjective in bar association quarters or in trial judges’ lounges-alas, all too often in reference to a decision of the Court of Appeal.” – Robert S. Thompson, People v. Price, 4 Cal. App. 3d 941, 948-49, 84 Cal. Rptr. 585 (1970) (dissenting)

“I put sixteen years into that damn obscenity thing. I tried and I tried, and I waffled back and forth, and I finally gave up. If you can’t define it, you can’t prosecute people for it. And that’s why, in the Paris Adult Theatre decision, I finally abandoned the whole effort. I reached the conclusion that every criminal-obscenity statute-and most obscenity laws are criminal-was necessarily unconstitutional, because it was impossible, from the statute, to define obscenity. Accordingly, anybody charged with violating the statute would not have known that his conduct was a violation of the law. He wouldn’t know whether the material was obscene until the court told him.” – William J. Brennan, Jr., quoted in Nat Hentoff, “Profiles: The Constitutionalist,” New Yorker, 12 Mar. 1990, at 45, 56

“The appellant has attempted to distinguish the factual situation in this case from that in Renfroe v. Higgins Rack Coating and Manufacturing Co., Inc. (1969), 17 Mich App 259. He didn’t. We couldn’t. Affirmed. Costs to appellee.” All concurred.* – John H. Gillis, Denny v. Radar Industries, 28 Mich. App. 294, 294 (1970) * This is the opinion in its entirety.

“Literary license allows an avid alliterationist authority to postulate parenthetically that the predominating principles presented here may be summarized thusly: Preventing public pollution permits promiscuous perusal of personality but persistent perspicacious patron persuasively provided pertinent perdurable preponderating presumption precedent preventing prison.” – H. Sol Clark, Banks v. State, 132 Ga. App. 809, 810, 209 S.E. 2d 252 (1974)

“Our amended Constitution is the lodestar for our aspirations. Like every text worth reading, it is not crystalline. The phrasing is broad and the limitations of its provisions are not clearly marked. Its majestic generalities and ennobling pronouncements are both luminous and obscure. This ambiguity of course calls forth interpretation, the interaction of reader and text. The encounter with the Constitutional text has been, in many senses, my life’s work.” – William J. Brennan, Jr., “The Constitution of the United States: Contemporary Ratification” (speech), Washington, D.C. 12 Oct. 1985, in Original Meaning Jurisprudence: A Sourcebook 151, 152 (1987)

“I, Andrew Johnson, …..hereby proclaim and declare unconditionally, and without reservation, to all and to every person who directly or indirectly participated in the late insurrection or rebellion, a full pardon and amnesty for the offence of treason against the United States, or of adhering to their enemies during the late civil war, with restoration of all rights, privileges, and immunities under the Constitution and the laws which have been made in pursuance thereof.” – Proclamation 25 Dec., 1868, 15 Stat. 711, 712

“The patent system…added the fuel of interest to the fire of genius.” – Abraham Lincoln, Second Lecture on Discoveries and Inventions, Jacksonville, Ill., 11 Feb.1859, in Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, 3:363 (Roy P. Basler ed. 1953)

[To the Court requesting a precedent for his position during the Crafts trial:] “I will look, your Honor, and endeavor to find a precedent, if you require it; though it would seem to be a pity that the Court should lose the honor of being the first to establish so just a rule.” – Rufus Choate, quoted in Works of Rufus Choate 1:292 (Samuel G. Brown ed. 1862)

“We recognize that stare decisis embodies an important social policy. It represents an element of continuity in law, and is rooted in the psychologic need to satisfy reasonable expectations. But stare decisis is a principle of policy and not a mechanical formula of adherence to the latest decision, however recent and questionable, when such adherence involves collision with a prior doctrine more embracing in its scope, intrinsically sounder, and verified by experience…This Court, unlike the House of Lords, has from the beginning rejected a doctrine of disability at self-correction.” – Felix Frankfurter, Helvering v. Hallock, 309 U.S. 106, 119, 121 (1940)

“I would rather create a precedent than find one.” – William O. Douglas, The Court Years: 1939-1975, at 179 (1980)

“The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.” – William O. Douglas, Public Utilities Comm’n v. Pollak, 343 U.S. 451, 467 (1952) (dissenting)

“We are rapidly entering the age of no privacy, where everyone is open to surveillance at all times; where there are no secrets from government.” – William O. Douglas, Osborn v. United States, 385 U.S. 323, 341 (1966) (dissenting)

“In no country in the world is the love of property more active and more anxious than in the United States; nowhere does the majority display less inclination for those principles which threaten to alter, in whatever manner, the laws of property.” – Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America 2:314 (Francis Bowen trans.1862) (1835)

“Any person who is the head of a family, or who has arrived at the age of twenty-one years, and is a citizen of the United States, or who shall have filed his declaration of intention to become such, as required by the naturalization laws of the United States, and who has never borne arms against the United States Government or given aid and comfort to its enemies, shall, from and after the first January, eighteen hundred and sixty-three, be entitled to enter one quarter section or a less quantity of unappropriated public lands, upon which said person may have filed a preemption claim, or which may, at the time the application is made, be subject to preemption at one dollar and twenty-five cents, or less, per acre; or eighty acres or less of such unappropriated lands, at two dollars and fifty cents per acre, to be located in a body, in conformity to the legal subdivisions of the public lands, and after the same shall have been surveyed.” – Homestead Act of 1862, ch. 75, § 1, 12 Stat. 392, 392

“With the rise of property, considered as an institution, with the settlement of its rights, and, above all, with the established certainty of its transmission to lineal descendants, came the first possibility among mankind of the true family in its modern acceptation. . . It is impossible to separate property, considered in the concrete, from civilization, or for civilization to exist without its presence, protection, and regulated inheritance. Of property in this sense, all barbarous nations are necessarily ignorant.” – Lewis Henry Morgan, Systems of Consanguinity and Affinity 492 (1870)

“The primary duty of a lawyer engaged in public prosecution is not to convict, but to see that justice is done.” – Canons of Professional Ethics Canon 5 (1908)

[William Jennings Bryan:] “Your Honor, I think I can shorten this testimony. The only purpose Mr. Darrow has is to slur at the Bible, but I will answer his question. I will answer it all at once, and I have no objection in the world, I want the world to know that this man, who does not believe in a God, is trying to use a court in Tennessee-” [Clarence S. Darrow:]” I object to that.” [Bryan:]” to slur at it, and while it will require time, I am willing to take it.” [Darrow:] “I object to your statement. I am exempting you on your fool ideas that no intelligent Christian on earth believes.” – Clarence S. Darrow, Scopes Trial, Dayton, Tenn., 20 July 1925, in The World’s Most Famous Court Trial 304 (1925)

“Men may believe what they cannot prove. They may not be put to the proof of their religious doctrines or beliefs. Religious experiences which are as real as life to some may be incomprehensible to others.” – William O. Douglas, United States v. Ballard, 322 U.S. 78, 86 (1944)

“Among religions in this country which do not teach what would generally be considered a belief in the existence of God are Buddhism, Taoism, Ethical Culture, Secular Humanism and others.” – Hugo L. Black, Torcaso v. Watkins, 367 U.S. 488, 495 n.11 (1961)

“This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember, or overthrow it.” – Abraham Lincoln, First Inaugural Address, 4 Mar. 1861, in Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln 4:269 (Roy P. Basler ed. 1953)

“The word “revolution” has of course acquired a subversive connotation in modern times. But it has roots that are eminently respectable in American history. This country is the product of revolution. Our very being emphasizes that when grievances pile high and there are no political remedies, the exercise of sovereign powers reverts to the people. Teaching and espousing revolution-as distinguished from indulging in overt acts-are therefore obviously within the range of the First Amendment. ” – William O. Douglas, W.E.B. Du Bois Clubs v. Clark, 389 U.S. 309, 315-16 (1967)

“If we cannot secure all our rights, let us secure what we can.” – Thomas Jefferson, Letter to James Madison, 15 Mar. 1789, in Papers of Thomas Jefferson 14:660 (Julian P. Boyd ed. 1958)

“But the word “right” is one of the most deceptive of pitfalls; it is so easy to slip from a qualified meaning in the premise to an unqualified one in the conclusion. Most rights are qualified. ” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., American Bank and Trust Co. v. Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, 256 U.S. 350, 358 (1921)

“This freedom of movement is the very essence of our free society, setting us apart. Like the right of assembly and the right of association, it often makes all other rights meaningful-knowing, studying, arguing, exploring, conversing, observing and even thinking. Once the right to travel is curtailed, all other rights suffer, just as when curfew or home detention is placed on a person.” – William O. Douglas, Aptheker v. Secretary of State, 378 U.S. 500, 520 (1964) (concurring)

“America is of course sovereign; but her sovereignty is woven in an international web that makes her one of the family of nations. The ties with all the continents are close-commercially as well as culturally. Our concerns are planetary, beyond sunrises and sunsets. Citizenship implicates us in those problems and perplexities, as well as in domestic ones. We cannot exercise and enjoy citizenship in world perspective without the right to travel abroad; and I see no constitutional way to curb it unless, as I said, there is the power to detain.” – William O. Douglas, Aptheker v. Secretary of State, 378 U.S. 500, 520-21 (1964) (concurring)

“Of course, I believe that every child has a right to decent education and shelter, food and medical care; of course, I believe that refugees from political oppression have a right to a haven in a free land; of course I believe that every person has a right to work in dignity and for a decent wage. I do believe and affirm the social contract that grounds these rights. But more to the point I also believe that I am commanded-that we are obligated-to realize those rights.” – Robert M. Cover, “Obligation: A Jewish Jurisprudence of the Social Order,” 5 Journal of Law and Religion 65, 73-74 (1988)

“And I take this opportunity to declare, that …I will to my dying day oppose, with all the powers and faculties God has given me, all such instruments of slavery on the one hand, and villainy on the other, as this writ of assistance is. It appears to me…the worst instrument of arbitrary power, the most destructive of English liberty, and the fundamental principles of the constitution, that ever was found in an English law-book.” – James Otis, Argument against the writs of assistance, Boston, Feb. 1761, quoted in John Adams, “Abstract of the Argument for and against the Writts of Assistance,” 1761, in Legal Papers of John Adams 2:134, 139-40 (L. Kinvin Wroth and Hiller B. Zobel eds. 1965)

“Your Honours will find in the old book, concerning the office of a justice of peace, precedents of general warrants to search suspected houses. But in more modern books you will find only special warrants to search such and such houses specially named, in which the complainant has before sworn he suspects his goods are concealed; and you will find it adjudged that special warrants only are legal. In the same manner I rely on it, that the writ prayed for in this petition being general is illegal. It is a power that places the liberty of every man in the hands of every petty officer.” – James Otis, Argument against the writs of assistance, Boston, Feb. 1761, quoted in John Adams, “Abstract of the Argument for and against the Writts of Assistance,” 1761, in Legal Papers of John Adams 2:134, 141-42 (L. Kinvin Wroth and Hiller B. Zobel eds. 1965)

“Now one of the most essential branches of English liberty, is the freedom of one’s house. A man’s house is his castle;* and while he is quiet, he is as well guarded as a prince in his castle. This writ [of assistance], if it should be declared legal, would totally annihilate this privilege.” – James Otis, Argument against the writs of assistance, Boston, Feb. 1761, quoted in John Adams, “Abstract of the Argument for and against the Writts of Assistance,” 1761, in Legal Papers of John Adams 2:134; 142 (L. Kinvin Wroth and Hiller B. Zobel eds. 1965) *Burton Stevenson, Home Book of Proverbs, Maxims and Familiar Phrases 1192 (1948), traces the proverb, “A man’s house is his castle,” back to 1567 and notes legal usages of it by Sir Edward Coke in the 17th century.

“That general warrants, whereby an officer of messenger may be commanded to search suspected places without evidence of a fact committed, or to seize any person or persons not named, or whose offence is not particularly described and supported by evidence, are grievous and oppressive, and ought not to be granted.” – Virginia Declaration of Rights of 1776, § 10, in Federal and State Constitutions 7:3812, 3814 (Francis N. Thorpe ed. 1909)

It shall be unlawful for any person, directly or indirectly, by the use of any means or instrumentality of interstate commerce, or of the mails… (A) To employ any device, scheme, or artifice to defraud, (B) To make any untrue statement of a material fact or to omit to state a material fact necessary in order to make the statements made, in the light of the circumstances under which they were made, not misleading, or (C) To engage in any act, practice, or course of business which operates or would operate as a fraud or deceit upon any person, in connection with the purchase or sale of any security. – Rule 10b-5,13 Fed. Reg. 8183-84 (1948) (codified at 17 C.F.R. § 240.10b-5)

[Definition of insider trading:] “Stealing too fast.” – Calvin Trillin, “The Inside on Insider Trading,” in If You Can’t Say Something Nice 141, 143 (1987)

“He must make instant decisions that would take months for a lawyer.” – Paul Harvey, on policemen

“Racial discrimination in public education is unconstitutional…..All provisions of federal, state or local law requiring or permitting such discrimination must yield to this principle. – Earl Warren, Brown v. Board of Education, 349 U.S. 294, 298 (1955)

“The hardest case we ever heard of lived in Arkansas. He was only fourteen years old. One night he deliberately murdered his father and mother in cold blood, with a meat-axe. He was tried and found guilty. The Judge drew on his black cap, and in a voice choked with emotion asked the young prisoner if he had anything to say before the sentence of the Court was passed on him….”Why, no,” replied the prisoner, “I think I haven’t, though I hope yer Honor will show some consideration FOR THE FEELINGS OF A POOR ORPHAN!” ” – Artemus Ward, “A Hard Case,” in Artemus Ward in London 183, 183-84 (1867)

“I’m often asked why there is such a great variation among sentences imposed by Texas judges. I can only quote the Texas judge who was asked why a killer sometimes doesn’t even get indicted and a cattle thief can get ten years. The judge answered: “A lot of fellows ought to be shot, but we don’t have any cows that need stealin’.” – Pearcy Foreman, quoted in Michael Dorman, King of the Courtroom 104 (1969)

“Oyez, oyez, oyez! All persons having business before the honorable, the Supreme Court of the United States, are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the court is now sitting. God save the United States and this honorable Court.” – Marshal’s cry at the opening of public sessions of the United States Supreme Court

“Equal Justice Under Law.” – Inscription on West Portico of Supreme Court Building, Washington, D.C.

“Justice the Guardian of Liberty.” – Inscription on East Portico of Supreme Court Building, Washington, D.C. Court

“[We’ll] never really know how many brothers-in-law were ‘accidentally kilt’ by their kin who were holding their shotgun and stepping over a fence at the same time.” – Robert Meriweather, Professor of Political Science, Education and History and Dean of Students at Hendrix College (1959-1993)

“Knowing Master Huckaback to be a man of his word, as well as one who would have others so, I was careful to be in good time the next morning . . . “

– R.D. Blackmore, Lorna Doone

“Justice the Guardian of Liberty.” – Inscription on East Portico of Supreme Court Building, Washington, D.C.

“Anything less than full justice is cruelty.”

– William Penn

“Your brand is your promise to the consumer. It’s your reputation. It’s the encapsulation of your core values. . .When someone attempts to steal our brand it’s personal, as though some part of my family has been assaulted.”

– Doug Shafer, A Vineyard In Napa

Here this extraordinary man [Charles Townsend], then Chancellor of the Exchequer, found himself in great straits. To please universally was the object of his life; but to tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men. However, he attempted it.

– Edmund Burke, Speech on American Taxation, 19 April 1774, in Writings and Speeches of Edmund Burke 2:409, 454 (Paul Langford ed. 1981)

“Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.*” – Benjamin Franklin, Letter to Jean Baptiste Le Roy, 13 Nov. 1789, in Writings of Benjamin Franklin 10:69 (Albert H. Smyth ed. 1907) *Not the man in the moon, not the groaning-board, not the speaking of friar Bacon’s brazen- head, not the inspiration of mother Shipton, or the miracles of Dr. Faustus, things as certain as death and taxes, can be more firmly believed. – Daniel Defoe, The History of the Devil, 1726, in Defoe’s Works 3:283, 481 (1912)

“I don’t see why a man shouldn’t pay an inheritance tax. If a Country is good enough to pay taxes to while you are living, it’s good enough to pay in after you die. By the time you die you should be so used to paying taxes that it would just be almost second nature to you.” – Will Rogers, “They’ve Got a New Dictionary at Ellis Island,” 28 Feb. 1926, in Will Rogers’ Weekly Articles 2:157, 158 (James M. Smallwood ed. 1980)

[Responding to a statement that “laws should be considerate of the poor”:] Not more so than of the rich. The laws should be equal and just; and the poor are the last people who ought to wish them otherwise, since they are certain to be the losers when any other principle governs….No class suffers so much by a departure from the rule, as the rich have a thousand other means of attaining their ends, when the way is left clear to them, by setting up any other master than the right.” – James Fenimore Cooper, The Chainbearer, 1845, in Complete Works of J. Fenimore Cooper 27:94-95 (1893)

“The true form of the Rule against Perpetuities is believed to be this: – NO INTEREST SUBJECT TO A CONDITION PRECEDENT IS GOOD, UNLESS THE CONDITION MUST BE FULFILLED, IF AT ALL, WITHIN TWENTY-ONE YEARS AFTER SOME LIFE IN BEING AT THE CREATION OF THE INTEREST.” – John Chipman Gray, The Rule Against Perpetuities 144 (1886)

“During my life, and now by my will and codicils, I have given considerable sums of money to promote public or humanitarian causes which have had my deliberate and sympathetic interest. If any of my children think excessive such gifts of mine outside of my family, I ask them to remember not only the merit of the causes and the corresponding usefulness of the gifts but also the dominating ideals of my life. They should never forget the dangers which unfortunately attend the inheritance of large fortunes, even though the money come from the painstaking affections of a father. I beg of them to remember that such danger lies not only in the obvious temptation to enervating luxury, but in the inducement . . . to withdraw from the wholesome duty of vigorous, serious, useful work. In my opinion a life not largely dedicated to such work cannot be happy and honorable; And to such it is my earnest hope-and will be to my death-that my children shall, so far as their strength permits, be steadfastly devoted.” – Joseph Pulitzer, Will, in James Wyman Barrett, Joseph Pulitzer and His World 295-96 (1941)

“And do as adversaries do in law – Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.” – William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew, act I, scene ii

“Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, a river of righteous living that will never run dry.” – The Holy Bible – Amos 5:24

“In the heart of every lawyer, worthy of the name, there burns a deep ambition so to bear himself that the profession may be stronger by reason of his passage through its ranks, and that he may leave the law itself a better instrument of human justice than he found it.” – John W. Davis

“I do solemnly swear or affirm: I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State of Arkansas, and I will faithfully perform the duties of attorney at law. I will maintain the respect and courtesy due to courts of justice, judicial officers, and those who assist them. I will, to the best of my ability, abide by the Model Rules of Professional Conduct and any other standards of ethics proclaimed by the courts, and in doubtful cases I will attempt to abide by the spirit of those ethical rules and precepts of honor and fair play. To opposing parties and their counsel, I pledge fairness, integrity, and civility, not only in court, but also in all written and oral communications. I will not reject, from any consideration personal to myself, the cause of the impoverished, the defenseless, or the oppressed. I will endeavor always to advance the cause of justice and to defend and to keep inviolate the rights of all persons whose trust is conferred upon me as an attorney at law.”

– Oath administered to new attorneys in Arkansas

“We will either find a way, or make one.” – Hannibal

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

“I have lived my life, and I have fought my battles, not against the weak and the poor – anybody can do that – but against power, against injustice, against oppression, and I have asked no odds from them, and I never shall.” – Clarence S. Darrow, Defense against charge of jury bribing in McNamara Case, 1912, in Attorney for the Damned 491, 497 (Arthur Weinberg ed. 1957)

“We cannot not be here. People look to us.” -Mari Wright, Executive Director of the Southwest Georgia Chapter of the American Red Cross.

“The law favors farmers.” – an old folk saying

“…There nothing more expensive than a bad lawyer”. -Mike Gowen

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. – Albert Einstein

In matters of truth and justice, there is no difference between large and small problems, for issues concerning people are all the same. – Albert Einstein

“It’s never about the opponent or who we’re facing. . . . Coach likes to say they’re faceless – and they are. It’s about us and about what we do and how we take everything on the field. It doesn’t matter who we play. We’re trying to play the way we’re capable of playing.”

– Alabama senior quarterback AJ McCarron, quoting Coach Nick Saban

Men of few words are the best men. – William Shakespeare

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. – Sir Winston Churchhill

I have made this [letter] longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter. – French writer and mathematician Blaise Pascal

Funny Order from Kenton, KY Circuit Court – Click to download PDF

“[W]hat many of those who oppose the use of juries in civil trials seem to ignore [is that t]he founders of our Nation considered the right of trial by jury in civil cases an important bulwark against tyranny and corruption, a safeguard too precious to be left to the whim of the sovereign, or, it might be added, to that of the judiciary.” – Chief Justice William Rehnquist in Parklane Hosiery Co. v. Shore, 439 U.S. 322, 343 (1979)

“Men are never so likely to settle a question rightly as when they discuss it freely.” – Thomas Babington Macaulay

“There was not a member of the Constitutional Convention who had the least objection to what is contended for by the advocates for a Bill of Rights and trial by jury.” – George Washington (1788)

“It is through trial by jury that the people share in government, a consideration which ought to make our legislators very cautious how they take away this mode of trial by new, trifling and vexatious enactments.” – Lord John Russell, Prime Minister of England (1823)

“What individual can so well assess the amount of damages which a plaintiff ought to recover for an injury he has received than an intelligent jury?” – Henry Peter Brougham, Lord Chancellor of England (1828)

“The law of England has established trial by judge and jury in the conviction that it is the mode best calculated to ascertain the truth.” – Jeremy Bentham, English Philosopher (1832)

“The civil jury is the most effective form of sovereignty of the people. It defies the aggressions of time and man. During the reigns of Henry VIII (1509-1547) and Elizabeth I (1158-1603), the civil jury did in reality save the liberties of England.” – Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America (1835)

“The jury system is the handmaid of freedom. It takes on the spirit of liberty, and grows with the progress of constitutional government. Rome, Sparta and Carthage fell because they did not know it, let not England and America fall because they threw it away.” – Charles S. May, Address to the Michigan Law School (1875)

“In the Declaration of Independence, the King of Great Britain was arraigned before the world for depriving us of trial by jury. This language evinces the purpose of our representatives to risk their lives and their fortunes to secure the ancient right of trial by jury.” – Justice Alphonso C. Avery of North Carolina (1892)

“In the jury box, no less than in the polling booth, every day the American way of life is given its rebirth. American jurymen are the custodians and guarantors of the democratic ideal.” – Justice Bernard Botein of New York (1946)

“The more I see of trial by judge, the more highly I think of trial by jury.” – Australian King’s Counsel B. R. Wise (1948)

“Through 500 years of human history the jury trial has been regarded as an unalienable right cherished in the thinking of freedom-seeking peoples. It remains today a refuse against all those little tyrannies plotted behind hypocritical fronts in well-respected places theoretically dedicated to the preservation of basic civil liberties.” – Judge William J. Palmer of California (1958)

“In the minds of American colonists, trial by jury was the firmest barrier of English liberty; it survives today as the voice of the people.” – Arthur Schlesinger, The Birth of the Nation (1968)

“The most persistent hate is that which doth degenerate from love.” – Map, De Nugis Curialium, 245

“[N]o man’s life, liberty or fortune is safe while the legislature is in session.” – Benjamin Franklin

“The right of trial by jury in civil cases is fundamental to our history and jurisprudence. The founders of our nation considered it an important bulwark against tyranny and corruption, a safeguard too precious to be left to the whim of the sovereign.”

– U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist (1979)

“The concept of the jury system is as close as any society has ever come to true democracy.” -Paula Di Perna, Faces of American Justice (1984)

“Plaintiff respectfully demands trial by jury and tenders the required jury fee”. – Non-parenthetical requirement in every complaint alleging personal injury or wrongful death, Law Offices of Gary Green

“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” – Robert Frost Taken from: http://ggreen.com/just-for-fun/famous-quotes-in-law

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We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.Start off your week with a family board game Gold Box, deals on smart light bulbs, patio heaters,…Read more ReadAmazon’s Luxury Skin Care Sample Box, extra discounts from J.Crew Factory and Cole Haan, and more…Read more ReadHead over to our main post for more deals, and follow us on Twitter and Facebook to never miss a chance to save. You can also join our Kinja Deals Community Facebook group to connect with your fellow deal hunters.#1: Breville Smart OvensIt’s a great day to buy a Breville Smart Oven. Two of your favorite toaster ovens, the Breville Smart Oven and the Breville Compact Smart Oven, are both around $40 off today, and the Breville Smart Oven Air is down about $80. (See this chart to compare features them all side-by-side.)Let’s start with the classic Smart Oven. On top of the praise from our readers (they say it basically replaces their normal oven), it boasts a very impressive 4.7-star rating with over 1,000 reviews. At $216, it’s the cheapest it has been since February.$216From amazon1539 purchased by readersGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionThe Compact, as you may have assumed, is ideal for smaller kitchen. It’s down to $144 from its typical $180 price and contains almost all the features of the larger model.$144From amazon1115 purchased by readersGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionThe Breville Smart Oven Air, normally $400, is also being offered at a deep discount today at just $320. In addition to normal toaster oven capabilities, this one also functions as an air-fryer and food dehydrator. Shane reviewed this model earlier this year:The Smart Oven Mini I’ve had for years is a great alternative to my oven and microwave, but the Smart Oven Air makes me question why I even have a full size oven.You voted Breville’s Toaster Ovens the best in the business, and their latest, the Smart Oven Air,…Read more ReadBreville’s series of smart toaster ovens broiled the competition with more than three times the…Read more Read$320From amazon4256 purchased by readersGizmodo Media Group may get a commission#2: OLED TVsIf you love inky blacks and vibrant colors—and who doesn’t?—this 55" 2017 OLED LG TV is down to $1597 today on Amazon, or $2597 for 65", essentially matching prices that we’ve only seen from MassDrop to date. As you’d expect from any high-end TV these days, that gets you a 4K panel and Dolby Vision HDR, but OLED technology means the blacks will be far richer, and the colors more vibrant than any LCD-based screen you can buy. It’ll still cost you, but your eyes will tell you it was worth it.$1.6KFrom amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commission$2.6KFrom amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionIt’s an age-old question, like cats or dogs, Kirk or Picard, PlayStation or Xbox? All tough…Read more ReadThe other night we saw a bunch of Samsung's curved 4K TVs, including a gigantic one that could …Read more Read#3: Family Friendly Board GamesThe holidays are coming soon, and with them, extended family time. So you could all sit in a circle on your phones with a football game blaring in the background, or you could pick out some board games or puzzles from today’s Amazon Gold Box, and enjoy those together instead (probably with football still blaring in the background).This sale is definitely geared towards family-friendly games, so you won’t find your favorite obscure German board game with a complex in-game economy and an instruction book the size of an Agatha Christie novel in here. But Operation is fun as hell, and I wouldn’t mind playing Mouse Trap again. There are dozens of other options available too, so head over to Amazon to see the full list.$14From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commission$12From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commission$23From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commission$30From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commission#4: Hue LightsUpdate: If you missed this last week, the Bloom is now all the way down to $37, and the Go remains on sale for $60.You’re probably familiar with the color-changing Hue lights that screw into your existing lamps and light fixtures, but if you really want to paint your rooms with color, you’ll want to pick up a few Hue Bloom accent lights as well.On a day to day basis, you probably don’t pay any mind to the light bulbs you have scattered around …Read more ReadThese lights used to sell for around $80, and today’s $45 $37 deal on Amazon is the best we’ve ever seen. If you’re already invested in the Hue ecosystem, you should absolutely pick up at least one.$37From amazon2676 purchased by readersGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionIf you want to take your Hue ecosystem on the go, the Hue Go is similar to the Bloom, except that it’s significantly brighter, and can run off a battery for up to three hours at a time, making it perfect for backyard parties. $60 is one of the best deals we’ve ever seen on it.$60From amazon2940 purchased by readersGizmodo Media Group may get a commission#5: Hand Warmer Battery PackThis rechargeable hand warmer is like a Swiss Army knife for 21st-century winter. Not only does it warm your hands, it serves as a 6000mAh power bank and a LED flashlight. It’s just $15 today with code ZCL23YL5, so throw out those warming powder packets that don’t charge your phone at all.$15From amazonUse code ZCL23YL5Gizmodo Media Group may get a commissionAlthough winter is filled with festive holiday occasions, it can also be cold to a point of…Read more Read#6: 4TB Hard DriveThis WD portable hard drive doesn’t require an external power cord, and can hold 4TB of movies, music, photos, or even console games. Not bad for $100.$100From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionThe clouds have parted, the heavenly choirs are singing, and the PS4 is finally adding support for…Read more ReadThe Xbox One got an update on June 3rd which added, among other things, external storage. Unlike…Read more Read#7: Dremel Starter KitYou might not need to use a Dremel all that often, but it’s one of those things everyone should keep in their tool box, if only for sanding wood and carving jack-o-lanterns. So if you don’t have one yet, Amazon’s currently discounting the Dremel 4300-4/40 to an all-time low $99 (from about $120).The Dremel 4300 features a variable speed motor that can spin anywhere from 5,000 to 35,000 RPM, and includes 40 accessories and five attachments to get you started with projects all around the house.$99From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commission#8: Google Play Gift CardWe see deals on iTunes gift cards with some frequency, but Google Play credit almost never goes on sale. If you buy your movies, apps, music, or anything else from Google Play, this $5 gift card discount is basically free money. Just add a gift card of $50 or more to your cart, and use code GOOGLE5 to save $5.#9: Roku Streaming StickRoku came out with a new version of its popular streaming stick this month, and you can already get it for $10 off on Amazon.$40From amazonGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionMost of this Gizmodo review of the older model still holds true, but the 2017 model comes with a voice remote, so you won’t have to search for shows with an on-screen keyboard.Do you own a set-top box that you love? That’s great—keep loving it! Are you interested in seeing…Read more Read#10: Crest 3D WhitestripsThis coupon is back! Let’s say you’ve already upgraded to a good toothbrush; what’s the next step for cleaner teeth? Judging by the excellent user reviews, this 14-treatment box of Crest 3D Whitestrips is a great place to start. Just be sure to clip the $15 coupon before you check out.$19From amazon5368 purchased by readersGizmodo Media Group may get a commissionFor the rest of Monday’s best deals, head over to our main post. Start off your week with a family board game Gold Box, deals on smart light bulbs, patio heaters,…Read more Read

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