#if i dont share anything and volunteer myself to be seen then i will not be able to achieve much with my art

[readymades2002]

i do wish it didnt take me such a long time to do anything and also that i was doing better at this present moment so i could in fact do virtually anything

[hazamacore]

i have been mulling over this addition for the last few days because i want to make sure im wording it all correctly and articulating myself well but while the majority response to this has been rightful anger at ao3 and a vigour to share these resources (good!!! thank u all!!!) there IS a mentality ive seen a few times that i want to nip in the bud

and this is not intended to distract from the original point of this post at all, because it’s all connected rather neatly

[id 1: tumblr dark mode tags that read, “#I'm usually never one to reblog anti ao3 donation content #but please just this year consider donating to gazan family please” /end id]

[id 2: tumblr dark mode tags that read, “#unfamiliar with “other issues” and personally would take with a grain of salt as theres been a lot of buzz about censoring “bad” kinks on ao3 #but yeah fuck zionists and fuck censoring your VOLUNTEER STAFF” /end id]

it's the mindset that this is One Singular Issue. that this has come out of nowhere and is the Only big issue with ao3. that This One Time You Shouldn't Donate To Them. it is not!!! i alluded to that in the op, and went on at the end to try and direct people to a blog about awareness and action against the racism that runs deep in ao3/otw for starters

the racism on ao3 and from the otw is something especially black people have been talking about as they have been talking about fandom racism for years and years and years. it is a repeated pattern of protecting racist content (think: the horrific fanfics made of the black lives matter movement in 2020 following the murder of george floyd, porn that uses blatantly racist tropes incl “raceplay”, to name just TWO examples) under this blanket of “no censorship”and dismissing entirely the victims (people of colour) affected by it. considering this, that ao3 would go on to harbour and protect zionist ideology is unsurprising

because ao3 has repeatedly demonstrated that it will prioritise the unconditional protection of racist content, pedophilic content and incestuous content with people who take issue with it being labelled “puritans” or “pro censorship” or in the case of racism that theyre “overreacting”. ao3 has made clear that this is an environment they prioritise over one where victims are cared for, that their “anything goes” mentality is one where bigots and abusers are protected and victims dismissed. in such an environment its easy for ideologies like zionism to rest unchallenged and protected, which they do. with the volunteer who did challenge it and was Actually censored deemed “disruptive” “rude” “inflammatory”. and i must emphasise that volunteer has written the exact explicit incestuous content that ao3 otherwise protects, and this is where the line was drawn (cw for that if u are going to look deeper at their account. their experience here is very important to document, but that context is too, and i had completely forgotten about it initially)

like with many other places these issues are institutional. there is no “just dont donate THIS time” as if ao3's zionist bias will disappear when israel stops murdering palestinians and you can stop thinking about it, as if ao3 is not regardless racist, as if ao3 is not regardless a breeding ground for predators

^ i would like to direct you to this call to divest from the otw and sign in support of palestine. for more information and a breakdown on both the racism and the zionist bias

and furthermore you should stop donating to ao3 because they have tons of money already that they dont need (ty again for the very thorough breakdown @fiercynn!!). even if you strip it of all context, they should not be drinking in a surplus of 200,000 USD (quadruple their goal) in a climate where millions of people are struggling everyday to live

thank you, i hope i articulated this well. donate to any of the above causes if you have the means please and to any fundraiser you see on your dash of a marginalised person who needs help with groceries or rent or healthcare or is homeless instead of chucking your money at a site that neither needs nor deserves it

instead of continuously over-donating to ao3 when those running the site are racist zionist sympathisers who shut down support of palestine from its volunteers 1 / 2 (among myriad other issues that u should NOT be funding) please direct your attention to these incomplete fundraisers for people in gaza and various tangible operations doing work. this is a call that if u have donated even a cent to ao3 to a) match that in your donations to palestinians/causes and b) stop donating so uncritically and unconditionally to ao3, pressure them. id like to direct u to @end-otw-racism

fundraiser masterpost by @el-shab-hussein

mona

care for gaza

help gaza's children

operation olive branch

the palestinian children's relief fund

unrwa

the palestinian red crescent society

buy an e-sim / donate for mass buying

[definitionofdifferentx0x]

1. Do you like zombie movies? yes if there's gore and thriller aspects 2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? ugh I dont even know, ive seen some pretty gnarly things 3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? these lol 4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? hmm I don't think any were particularly difficult cus I live life treating others the way I wish to be 5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? stay together for the kids

6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? I work in a forensic hospital and did my er shifts when I was training as an EMT 7. What was your worst Halloween costume? hmmm idk 8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? I did for being "the cancer of the school"

9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? when I got my first job 10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? most holidays are since I dont' do anything with family

11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? plain 12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? yea the puppies I got when I lived upstate and I miss them so 13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? Chinese food today 14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? yea and not that I can remember right now 15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? ehhhh 16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? yes in boarding school it was all wrong with "character education" 17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? tiktok

18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? not necessarily but I do keep my relationships to myself 19. How much do you know about first aid? trained in it and basic life support

20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? a lot of them

21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? yes and yes 22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? yes

23. Have you ever used a view-master? what's that? 24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? sometimes and true crime is what I find myself listening to if I do listen to them

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? lol a while ago 26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? not that I know of 27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? yes and they like it but want to find a way out of working it  28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? idk I don't do artsy things too often 29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? rats and squirrels and pigeons  30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? yes  31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? yea but I can't think of them right now 32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? lovely 33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? kids that hit parents back are pretty bad 34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? nope 35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? different generations 36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? both! I like getting older but hate the unknown 37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? beautiful 38. Do you have any physical photo albums? yep 39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? yea 40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? well I used to think it was someone named M, but recently my ex best friend used me for 2600$ and now that's who is the worst friend ive ever had 41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? lending someone a giant lump some of money 42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? nope 43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? gotten idk probably limited too pants when I was younger, best one ive ever given was my favorite pair of jeans? lol idk 44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? they did before they passed away "/ I miss my grandparents

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Love Isn’t Always on Time Part Sixteen

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist Notes: Roessel isn’t a real place in Germany. Pretty sure. I googled it and couldn’t find anything (which is what I wanted but like if it’s a real place and Google lied pls tell me??) Not Beta-Read. Warnings: Some violence; injury CW

Summary: I had figured that, as a soldier, I’d manage war just fine, but this was brutal. I couldn’t find a single mission that I’d run in my time at S.H.I.E.L.D to prepare me.

Sometimes your loved ones believe you no matter what. Other times, you tell your loved ones that you’re a special agent from the future and they tell you to cut the shit.

—

“You alright over there?” I shot Dum-Dum my best smile, doing my best to ignore my fatigue.

“Right as rain, thanks,” I said. He smiled, patting my shoulder and he passed me to roll out his bedroll. We’d been on the road for months, slogging through enemy territory and taking out Hydra bases. It felt like the cameras were never far behind, focusing on Steve and the others. That was fine with me. I didn’t need the attention or want it. But then, neither did Bucky and Steve. I glanced up as Bucky rolled his bedroll out beside mine, plopping down on it tiredly. “Took a pretty hard hit today,” He commented, looking me over. I shrugged. “Wasn’t the only one. ‘m fine.” Bucky gave me a long look like he wanted to say something else, but instead, he kept his mouth shut and gave me a curt nod. I was slowly earning the guys’ trust back, but Bucky was even slower to it than Steve was. Maybe it was what had happened to him on that base that made him so wary of me. I had told the boys, in no uncertain terms, that if they really didn’t trust me, they had the option to turn me into Phillips, have me investigated. They didn’t call my bluff. In my clearest moments, I told myself it was a deep, lingering trust; in my darkest, I let myself believe that they still loved me. I had figured that, as a soldier, I’d manage war just fine, but this was brutal. I couldn’t find a single mission that I’d run in my time at S.H.I.E.L.D to prepare me. Some things, the fighting, the shooting, I could handle fine. But it was relentless. I kept reminding myself that things could change; that the war would end; that I’d find a way to keep Bucky safe and Steve out of the ice. I wasn’t sure how I’d do it yet, but I’d manage, consequences be damned. —

“Are you asleep?” I opened my eyes to see Steve peering down at me. I shook my head. He nodded me up and I sat up, looking around. The others were asleep; it must’ve been Steve’s watch. I got up, following Steve over to his post and sitting beside him. “How’s your arm?” I asked. Steve glanced down, eyeing the bandage of the spot a bullet had grazed only hours before. “It’s alright. Should be healed by tomorrow.” I snorted quietly, shifting in my spot and resting my chin on my hand. We sat in silence for a while. “So why’d you get me up?” I asked, looking over at Steve. He shrugged a shoulder. “We haven’t had… Much time,” He said. “For what?” “Talk. We used to talk all the time.”

“And you used to shorter. Things change.” Steve smiled a little bit, head dropping forward. I reached out, lightly rubbing between his shoulders. “How have you been handling all of this?” I asked, “It’s a lot to handle in a short amount of time.” “Think it’d be worse if I didn’t have you and Bucky around. It’s hard, it is, but… You, the Howlies…” He glanced back at the others before looking forward again. “It feels right. Helping. Not like Bucky wanted, me staying back at home.” “Bucky said that because he wanted to protect you,” I pointed out softly. He nodded. “I can appreciate that now that things are…” “Different,” I finished. Steve hummed before he turned back to me. “Did you ever think you’d be here?” I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. “Here specifically? On the forest floor in the middle of Germany? I’m going to have to say no, this was nowhere in my life plan growing up.” We shared a smile. “But,” I went on, “After being with you two for a few months, I knew I would follow you anywhere.” Steve looked my face over before he reached out, cupping my cheek. “You scared me out there, today,” He said softly. I turned my head into his hand, pressing a kiss to his palm. “And you’ve scared me every damn day I’ve known you, Steve. We might almost be even by the time we get home.” “Makes two of us.” We turned back to see Bucky coming up behind us. He settled on my other side, nudging his knee with mine. “You and I might be even by the time we get out of here, too.” I smiled, shrugging. “Maybe, but I doubt it. You on that… That table,” I mumbled. Bucky wrapped his arm around my shoulder, drawing me into his chest and pressing a gentle kiss to my head. “Won’t ever have to see anything like that again. That’s a promise.” I didn’t respond, reaching out and taking hold of one of Steve’s hands in my own. If I closed my eyes, we were back on our couch in Brooklyn.

—

“We’re not sending anyone there.” I woke up to the sound of Bucky’s voice. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but he was not happy. “We need an eye on the inside—“  That was Steve.

“And it is not going to be you.” Bucky again. I pushed myself up on my bedroll, scrubbing my hands over my face. “We’ve got our faces splashed all over newsreels, and you’re public enemy number one, Cap,” Dum-Dum pointed out, “The world’s seen all of us.” I pushed myself up, walking over to the Jeep where the others were looking over a map. “Not all of us,” I pointed out, looking down at the markers before turning my eyes to Steve. “Where’s the fight?” Steve and Bucky turned to me, horrified. “No—“ Bucky started, but was cut off by Morita: “We got a message from Phillips. There’s a base in Roessel. It’s completely new, top of the line facility. We think they’re trying to construct a new type of bomb.” “We’ve got proof?” I asked. “Scouts, some photographs, but nothing solid,” Jones said, “No one’s been able to get close enough. We need someone on the inside… I’m assuming that’s what woke you up.” “It is,” I confirmed, giving him a small, tired smile before turning back to Steve and Bucky. “You know they’ve been filming around me. I’m unrecognizable. I’ll go in, get some pictures, take some notes, get out.” Steve’s mouth was set in a grim line. “She’s our best hope, Cap,” Dernier pointed out. Steve glanced at him before turning back to me. “You’re sure you wanna do this?” “Wouldn’t have volunteered if I didn’t,” I pointed out. “Let me pack up and I’ll be ready to roll out.” “Bucky’ll drop you five miles outside of the base’s limits. We leave at 0800.” I nodded, stepping away from the truck.

“You’re sure you want to do this.” I turned back to see Steve standing over me as I rolled up my pack. “Course I am,” I straightened up, “It’s just recon, simple.” “You need to get in and out of there, and quick. There’s that—“ “Train. Zola’s train, I know. I’ll be back well before we need to make our way there.” I reached up, giving Steve’s shoulder a squeeze. He glanced around, concerned that one of the others would see before he swooped in for a quick, firm kiss. “You come back in one piece,” He ordered. I smiled, giving him a quick, mocking salute. “Sir, yessir.” —

“In all the time I known ya, this has gotta be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done,” Bucky commented dryly. I smiled. “I think you and Steve are rubbin’ off on me.” “Me an’ Steve? Oh no no. This is just Steve. All of this is just Steve,” He said, waving his hand vaguely at me while keeping his eyes on the road. I snorted, leaning back against the seat. “… You promise me you’ll be careful?” Bucky asked quietly.  I turned my head to look over Bucky’s forehead. He was frowning deeply, brow furrowed, and I knew for sure that it wasn’t the rough terrain we were driving over. “I swear, Buck,” I said, matching his tone. He nodded before he reached a hand out for mine. I took it, intertwining our fingers. He lifted it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. “End of the road,” He said, stopping the truck at the tree line. I nodded, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go and getting my bag from the floor.  I made to get out of the car, but I felt Bucky’s hand on my knee. I turned back to face him, brow raised, questioning. He leaned over, kissing me warmly. I leaned into him, resting my hand on his cheek and holding him close. He rested his forehead against mine. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” I promised. “You radio if you need help,” Bucky said firmly. “I promise,” I said firmly before getting out of the car. — “You promised,” Bucky grumbled. I didn’t answer, too tired to say a word. I’d been ambushed inside the factory and had barely made it out with the camera film and my life. Rather than lead them back to Bucky I had taken a long way back to Bucky’s hiding place, and had bled through my shirt by the time I reached the truck. I winced as Steve stitched my side. “… We need to get you somewhere safe to recover,” Steve said softly. I shook my head. “I’m not leaving—“ “It’s an order,” Steve said firmly, “I’ve already radio’d Phillips, you’re going back with the film crew tomorrow.” I turned my head, eyeing him. “But who will look after you two?”

— “Promise me one thing?” I asked, watching Bucky load the remaining equipment on the plane. “Why, because you keep all of yours?” He asked bitterly. “Buck,” I whined. He turned back to me, resting his hands in his pockets. “What is it you want me to promise?” He asked. “…Don’t get on that train tomorrow.”

Tag List: @gloryevans @redryderdesigns @winter-scolder @aactuaaltraash @secretagentben @staplerrrr​ @moli1497 @adayinmymeadow  @allonszassbutt @mannls @witch-of-letters  @niallssweetheart22 @uneniffler  @rinthehufflepuff @panic-angel3314  @firstangeldragonranch @kaetastic​ @mcuwillbethedeathofme​ @skeletoresinthebasement​ @i-dont-know-what-im-doing-yay​

[drkcnry67]

dont let me fall (day 1)

AN: @obxmermaid​ here is day 1: Ice skating!

Fandom Universe: Harry Potter

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

tags: having a quiet moment on the ice, fighting to have a forbidden school romance, Draco meeting the reader to the ice rink in a secluded part of school grounds on break during the day and the 2 of them use their school shoes to skate on the ice

25 days of hogwarts list

this was your 5th year at hogwarts, this year was one of great importance, for this was the year of you starting to tutor. you had tutored partially this last year, but it was a strange start to your tutoring career, for you got assigned to tutor one student in particular. 

Draco Malfoy, from a pureblood family his father a death eater and a follower of Voldemort. you were a strong opponent in dueling and now in quidditch. for you made quidditch captain within your first few games. 

He was also unfortunately a quidditch captain except he played for Slytherin. the captains tent for Ravenclaw (your house) was shared with Slytherin (Draco’s house) sadly though this was only for show. 

as always you sent a fire message to Draco asking to meet in the captains tent to discuss the practice schedule, but also the tutoring schedule it was the most private place away from prying eyes to meet. 

For during the summer in the last few days before the train boarded to go to hogwarts you and Draco bumped into each other. It went something like this:

Draco: YN, how are you?

Yn: Draco, I'm good, yourself!?

You ask casually as though waiting for a miracle. 

Draco: hiding from my family. 

YN: well maybe i can help you hide a bit. 

Draco: what did you have in mind?

YN: we could hide amongst the muggles. 

Draco: you mean hide in plain sight, live like normal people for a few days.

YN: exactly besides then we could actually be a normal couple for once in our almost year together!

Draco: lets go... 

you both went to olivanders and begged him to let you both use his flue travel. he said he would keep your secrets and you would both be safe from the authorities.  that was the start of your first few days as a normal muggle couple. 

after that the start of your 5th year together, you were 16. your 17th birthday would come at the end of your 5th year. draco’s birthday was a month and a bit before yours. 

this made you feel like a normal person the day that Draco first approached you not for quidditch but for tutoring. this was the time when you would now start to build something other than a rivalry with Draco. 

Draco and you had waited a month and a bit before you would meet in the astronomy tower for the tutoring schedule. to have the first tutoring session, plus you would get to greet each other properly... if no one else was around. 

you and draco had your first kiss that final time in the quidditch tent at the end of your 4th year. it was your magical time, it was your own happy ever after. or at least the start of it anyway. 

Draco had slipped you a note on the split off to the dorms. you opened it when you got to your dorm. you made sure no one was around first before opening it. 

Draco’s note: meet me in the tent during spare... i have something to show you... love Draco...

you smiled hiding the note hearing voices approaching. one of them Hermione, the other Harry. both looking at you smiling like a idiot. 

Harry: are you alright YN?

YN: of course why wouldnt i be...

Hermione: why are you smiling ear to ear and why are you giggling.

you had to come up with something believable.

YN: i was talking with the constellations on the ceiling that leo was telling some really good jokes. made me smile. 

Hermione came to sit beside you.

Hermione: your parents again. 

YN: yes they insist on showing me suitor after suitor when i dont want any of those pompus annoying dirtbags, i want someone real and honest and happy to be with me for me. i just want someone of my choosing, not of my parents choice.

you take a breath as a few tears fall.

YN: i just want to be with someone i love and that loves me in return. 

Hermione: dont worry girl, you will find your special person. 

Harry: of course you will trust me its never an easy thing talking to the opposite sex especially if they arent your friend. you just have to make sure that you keep it either within our house or a wizard elsewhere.  

YN: i know but what if my future lies outside of what im supposed to do.  

Hermione: well then we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

You nod as you realize that there is a few moments till charms. then its your spare where Draco wants to meet to give you a surprise. you would be livid if the next hour didnt go by quickly. 

you kept your cool, you didnt show any excitement. though it didnt help that you could feel Draco’s eyes on you the entire time. you were in your own state of mind. you were just thinking about how this entire time your destiny has been right in front of you. 

professor flitwick: alright class who would like to come up here and show us a new charm they learned over the summer! 

You looked back slightly “stretching” your neck Draco nodded slightly to you. you stood up and spoke.

YN: ill demonstrate one professor, but ill need a volunteer... 

meanwhile draco was looking a little bored, he was keeping up his image. 

Professor flitwick: how bout you Mr. Malfoy you look like your kind of bored. come on down, front and center. 

the class watched as draco made his way from his seat to stand before the class. the rivalry between the 2 of you was legendary, well at least among hogwarts anyway. 

Draco: YN

YN: draco

Draco: let me guess the little girl learned some new spells over the summer...lets see this little magic trick...

You pulled out your wand and stood ready. you stare directly at Draco holding his gaze as you speak the spell. 

YN: SILENCIO

the spell was cast. Flitwick was impressed.

Flitwick: impressive YN, very impressive, keep it up and you could possibly take over my class some time. well, Mr Malfoy how do you feel?

Draco’s mouth was now moving but no sound was coming out. the class laughed as the bell rang, people began to get up and gather their stuff, Flitwick waved his wand allowing Draco to speak again. 

Flitwick: don't forget students to speak to YN if you need any help with your studies and work on your wrist movements. there will be a physical spell test before the holiday break.  see you all tomorrow!

the class dismissed, you walked out of the room with Harry, Hermione and Ron. splitting off to go on your spare. which meant dropping your books off at the dorm and then getting ready to meet Draco.  you heard a bunch of merry excitement...

you looked out your window and see a fresh blanket of snow coating the grounds. you decided that your house colors and some winter shoes/jacket would be an appropriate attire. 

you head off for a walk on the grounds in the snow. sticking to the path you take a spin in the snow falling snow. straightening up for the final approach to the tent. you wave your hand silently spelling the tent, to prevent anyone who might hear anything said. 

you enter the tent. Draco’s head turns toward you.

Draco: your early...

YN: no im right on time. sorry about charms class. i was really trying to demonstrate a simple spell that wouldnt get me into deep trouble. i know now that i am happiest when im with you, or reading your little notes, or happily walking through the streets as a normal couple. i know that my future is lucky to have you in it. 

Draco: how could you think that i would be mad over you demonstrating that spell to the class. i was amazed when you cast that. you continue to surprise me every day, and as long as i live i will not let anyone tear us apart. even if i have to give up a part of myself so we can be together. 

YN: now whats your surprise. ive been itching to know. 

Draco: use the same spell thats on the tent on us. we dont want to be heard. 

you do so, Draco takes your hand and smiles as you both walk outside to see the ground now covered in snow. but one thing remained to be seen. an ice rink...

Draco: watch this ive been practicing... call this a demonstration of what you had me study. 

Draco stands beside you wand at the ready pointing it at the snow in front of you. 

Draco: Glacius!

in a few short seconds a rink of ice had been formed before your eyes. you smiled a few moments before moving to hug Draco. 

YN: this is amazing. well done on that spell. but we dont have any skates... 

Draco: we dont need them. come on we just have to smile as we walk gently across the ice. 

Draco takes your hand and both of you walk onto the ice. Your shoes slide a bit, but between the laughter and slipping you got lost in Draco's eyes, that made you loose your balance. You knocked you both into the snow.

The laughter became softer as the gaze you both held now calm expressions of love expressed through soft kisses.

The both of you got up brushed the snow off each other and then heard the curfew warning bell.

Walking halfway back to the school made things easier to say goodbye but it also made things easier to keep up appearances.

One more kiss before you parted ways. You went back inside and Draco waited a full 5 minutes before he followed.

You make it back to your shared dorm and you go sit on the bed, Hermione come in short while later.

Hermione: how was your walk?

Yn: it was amazing! For the fresh snowfall it is really nice out. I went to the quidditch tent and checked the schedule apparently ravenclaw is versing slytherin tomorrow. That means the press will want more draco/ YN rivalry.

Hermione: well let's rest up, it's a new day tomorrow.

Yn: ya it is. Night cuz!

With that you both went to sleep. Draco had made it back to his dorm room and sent u a little text message saying "good night my sweet love." before he too drifted off.

*to be continued*

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[artisticallys]

              omg hey... what’s going awn  ?  i havent dont an intro in soooo long i dont even have anything fun or interesting to say about myself errrrrr my name is sam  !  i use they/them pronouns we big chillin.... im real bad at answering messages but i get to them eventually i schwear. yep that’s all if anyone wants to plot or whateva just lmk okie  ?  there’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom before plots if u dont wanna read all this it’s a lot-_____-  without further adieu may i present miss scout kang.... 

﹤𝙺𝙸𝙼 𝙲𝙷𝚄𝙽𝙶𝙷𝙰, 𝚂𝙷𝙴/𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello SCOUT KANG. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY TWO, how you're a GAME DEVELOPMENT major,  and in fact.. how you KILLED YOUR TWIN BROTHER AT HIS REQUEST AND LIED TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT HIS PASSING AWAY TO STAY IN THEIR GOOD GRACES. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

ok so yeaaaaah her secret is kindve a lot ! we gone get there... but first i gotta discuss her childhood u kno ? set things up <3 scout was born to 2 vewy loving parents with a twin brother. there were complications in the pregnancy some medical shit i cba to research but basically her brother wasn’t getting all the nutrients he needed to develop with a good immune system. scout was born two minutes before him, he never let her forget it with his hag jokes and she never let him forget when it came to calling shotgun. 

as i said her brother was born with an auto immune deficiency it left him in a place to get sick very, very often. almost anytime he caught the flu he was hospitalized and generally his life was lived through a glass case from the outside world. and oddly enough it made scout feel trapped too as he was her twin flame, they were the best of friends and wherever he was she wanted to be. there came a time where his health plummeted drastically, doctors weren’t sure he’d make it and the pressure of it all finally cracked down on their father

not being able to watch his own flesh and blood rot away in a hospital bed he took his chance to get out while he still could and vanished into the night never to be seen again. scout remembers hearing an argument between her parents before pretending to be asleep when he came into her room and gave her a final kiss on the forehead and secured her blankets about her body.

it was a shock, really, when her brother pulled through and was somehow stronger than ever. an elaborate hoax was curated by their mother but scout knew, and deep down she thought her brother knew too. but it’s hard to give life to such a grievous monster and so it stayed in a grave.

life went on, doctor and hospital visits became routine and her brother never let things get in the way of living his life. in high school they were quite the pair. mostly it consisted of conversations about where they wanted to run off to after graduation, who their dream spouse was ( he always wanted to marry the student body president while scout had dreams of marrying some degenerate *her brothers words* ), things theywanted to do before dying. they wrote that stuff down on an old study guide scout was using to cheat off of for ap chemistry....

which was something she did often as early middle school days, her mother planted the seed of her going to medical school. to find a way to help people like her brother and at first it was a welcomed idea, do good for people like the one she loved more than life. time went on though and the pressure to have a 4.0 to get into a good premed school with tuition help was mounting. it made dreams that had been forced upon her to morph into something ugly but there was no hopes of standing up to her mother, not when she was already looking forward to such a future. but scout didn’t have the best work ethic when she wasn’t really invested in something, she was smart yeah but that just... wouldn’t cut it and she found that out real fast

her scenes changed quickly during the summer of junior year. her brother had fallen incomprehensibly ill, worse than she had ever seen him and the fear she had as a child slowly crept back, licked up her neck and nested on her shoulders making a home there. reports came back soon enough and he was diagnosed with leukemia. at first it was manageable, some chemo and radiation should do the trick, they said. then it became bone marrow transplants and blood transfusions and fluid drips. she was the first to volunteer, obviously as his twin, for marrow transplants, blood, any organs he might need. 

desperation came in the form of a crying mother after news that he wasn’t going to live past christmas came. it came to scout as her mother accused the doctors of knowing nothing and doing nothing for her son. and it lastly came to her brother when he had been going through these treatments for 2 years and he still could feel how his soul was rotting away. how he was just a carcass in a paper thin nightgown. 

it was then he proposed the idea they travel and cross things off their bucket list and scout both ready to escape greyed walls and sterile affections as well as their small town agreed, readily. took every penny she earned from working, even opened up a gofundme for this trip and was lucky. things went well, so well in fact, that the pair forgot that half of them had one foot in the grave already.

until one day his pain became unbearable, too much for him to handle anymore, and he asked scout as she was helping him into bed after an attempt at leaving the house that day. it was hushed, whispered in shame and fear. had what he just said really happened? was the summer sun getting to be too much? it wasn’t until he had cleared his throat and said it with his chest, “i want you to kill me.” 

call her wrong but she actually laughed. retracted from him with brows creased and a confused laugh slipping out. there’s no way he could be serious. but when he didn’t laugh too she knew he meant it and that’s when she knew she had a choice to make.

it took a week of pondering the thought before she came to the conclusion that she’d end her brothers suffering. they spent the next few days doing something that haunts scout to this day really: planning the best way for her to kill him. for her to end her twin flame. 

their last night together was something memorable, spirits were shared and tears were shed. he left her with only 2 promises to keep.   1. never reveal to anyone that she ended his suffering and 2. to stop letting their mother decide scout’s life and future

she didn’t go to his funeral. didn’t want to replace what she had left of him with what was in that coffin, spent the night drinking homemade sangria and watched star trek. his 2 favorite things. 

this obviously didnt go over well with her mother, went even worse when scout announced she had dropped from pre - med and planned on becoming a video game developer. she was called an embarrassment, a failure, and that she would end up nowhere. and for a while she believed it, still does. 

she got really lucky though when the streaming community got more recognition and now she plays video games for a living and attends classes to make good games. 

TL;DR 

scout grew up w a really sick brother, their dad left, and scout basically became her brother’s keeper. was forced into studying shit she had no interest in and when her brother had enough suffering asked her to take his life, which she did. now she streams video games with hopes of making her own and somehow finding her mother’s love again. 

𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑆  ? 

got the songs it’s you & bang bang stuck in my head rn maybe some romance shit off theeeees? dunno...

dudes... some people who knew her AND her brother growing up like maybe they went to hs together idk maybe they’re like girl what ever even happened...

ex’s yupppp gimme

her bestest friend(s) maybe even shares her world w them u kno? im in it...

maybe something unrequited or like some sort of clueless sheet who knows!

frenemies...? like enemies that actually just have some weird tension they gotta get through :kissing:

literally anything u think scout would be good to fill like if u got any wcs?

OMGGG wait last one. i really want someone who her brother was in love with or like had feelings for and shit got crazayyyy after he died we can discuss

[wildlycuriouswanderercj]

k1 speed

i am now determined to leave america

ever since i moved over to the east bay

life has ended for me

the only lifei have now is overseas

not anywhere local

i no longer have close friends

i am a lone wolf

i enjoy doing things myself

i enjoy spending money on myself

i have been forthing resturants for 4 years

retails for 2

and customer services for about 2 as well

i hae about 8 years of working experiences 

i started volunteering for companies at age of 11 or 12 ish

its been 10 years of working service

for most people

they start work at 22

after college

and by 32

theyll have 10 years of working experiences

i am 27 now

i have 10 years or more idk

but life here in k1 went bby quick

started out with many of the boys

now its just down to me basically

everyone moved one

everyones gone

its been a fast fun thing

things went and

came and went

things are moving fast

and so should i

i realize my life here wasnt equalitine to much

i decided i will follow thru with my plans for departure on the 29 of novmebt

i will coe back jan 18 fo family dinner

i will stay

get a job for any 2 or 3 onths

unitil its my bady

when i will head out again

life in k1

started off 

well

there were many guys

all were faster than me

 had some great lessons 

racing with faster people

things picked up

now im one of the fastest

but not fastest

new rookie in town took the spot

but yeah it was fun

had a quick short tie

well spent

covid came

and 2022 flew by

any lessons and scams along the way

didnt make much progess in terms of social or financial standing

didnt make it in tersm of money or girls

but i not worrying

i had a good year

or bad year

a bad year of good lesson

we did alot this year i feel

i liveeld u p a good aount

many experiences along the way

not many too memorable

but times 

good ties flies

its time to let go of the ast

pas

and move on to the future where the great journey awaits

no more being fearful of things

no more being lustful for girls

no need of anything but my own harnessed good vibration

i dontneed to seell anybody anything

i dont need to share anything with anyone

its all coming to an end

life is moving on

when i leave

i will go

and when i come back

ill take a job at sushi house

and take back the job at k1

with new attitude 

and i will work to make 4-5k a month

that is athe goal

i will work

all the way

thru may

and until summer

june 2023

then i will elave again

this time

i iwll leave with 30k in my account

january 1/2

2k

feb

4k

march

4k

april

4k

may

4k

18k.... thats plenty

i currenly

have 7 plus 3

i have ten k

its been a year...

well 5 motnhs 18k not ad actually

so

yeah 

get 20k 

and leave again

from june

july

aaugust

september.

novmeber

deceber

and come ack january

20k

6 months

3k a month spending

work months for 6 months of play

repeat and repeat

life

of a 27 year old

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

then maybe by then

id have enoguh of everything

if not

36

37

38

and by then

its real time to get started with maybe a house

and car

mortage

puppy

girlfriend

child

and by 40

id like to settle

after

10 years+ of travel eperience

ive done it all

seen it all

lived all there is to do eat and see smell feel

and by 40

ill be good

then ican settle

house car dog girl mortages friends social gatherings

for now 

tis all about the travels an

live it up now

who knows

if ill live to 40

theres so much to see

and do while young tthan go get a house

lock urself in

get a girl

get a car

lock urself in

lock get tied down

do the same shit

eat the same shit

see the same people

age 20- 30

30- 40

the prime years of ur life

spent doing the same repatitive shit

running track

doning tracking

doing races on the sae track

its about getting out there

doing all u can do

lvingin all u can live

being all u can be

being great being free and wild and limitless

dont be tied down to what others opinion is best of ru

u know hawts best for u

and do what is best for u

dontelt don

dont elt others

tell u whats bet for u

only u should have dictoriatiship over ur own life

else ur life isnt urs

its someone elses being controls for u

to let u know this is whats best

no

be the captian fo rur own story

[unproduciblesmackdown]

there was an ask list but instead of reblogging it im just doing the thing where i answer it all and put it here under a readmore

what mythical creature do you wish actually existed? idk i like griffins but i feel like thats boring b/c they dont like have any Powers...

soundcloud or vinyls? i dont rly use either lol

what book does everyone right now need to read? whatever they want i have no huge recs. i like the ashbury high / brookfield series & thats kinda unknown but thats it

do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? its not much of a thrill...i guess im neutral but it has to fit me for starters

what was the best thing that happened to you this month? i donno. watched some stuff, had ppl compliment me

what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? i periodically tell myself to care less about various shit

would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests? i guess the sky....clouds are nice. the ocean is full of heinous shit and the abyss. the forest can be kinda iffy too and also cut down

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? i havent kissed anybody romantically* so its not really an issue for me

do you plan your outfits? rarely

how do you feel right now? eh theres the usual undercurrents of misery and frustration but that’s just bg noise most of the time. im alright i suppose

what’s the last dream you remember having? well i was having trouble driving, which is a frequent dream, because it was a bus, which is an unusual detail. i think we were trying to take a roadtrip to a beach in another country, which is a thing that happens in my dreams lately. but then i suddenly found out i was in a play that was in like rehearsal/performance stages already, which is also common. my role was to act like i was real gay for some other guy character. i was like lol no prob

what are you craving right now? im usually a bit hungry i guess

turn ons/offs? i like people who can go along with a joke i suppose and who seem interested in other people and what they have to say. too many things repel me from other ppl to list

when was the last time you cried? why? i’ll cry super easily if im just imagining some sad concept

did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? there’s some contenders there smh...but no

do you bite or lick your ice cream? lick....

favorite movie ever? i dont have one

do you like yourself? yeah im alright enough

have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? not like an a-lister no

how many countries have you visited? just the one ive always been in

have you ever been in a castle? no

what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? i dont think anything too special. got in front of a car w someone but it was moving slow. proceeded w my stage entrance anyways even when a curtain cue got effed up & led the Improvisation of working around it, but that was dance so nobody had any lines to change

what’s on your mind right now? hoping it tstorms really dramatically later

what’s your zodiac sign? gay

name 5 facts about yourself. my eyes are blue, my pupils dont dilate evenly coz one is a bit less dilatable, im horribly nearsighted, i can cross one eye, i have sort of a unibrow

do you believe in karma? i dont believe in not karma

ever been in love? not romantically*

whom do you admire and why? a lot of activists, im interested in activism and volunteering but have rarely been able to actually be involved in things

what was your favorite bedtime story as a child? man i dont remember having bedtime stories, i dont think i did that much after learning to read myself. i read “pat the bunny” a lot for my little brother, that one was his fave

did you make someone laugh today? i dont think so

do you believe in ghosts? ive always liked hearing about ghost shit, i am not inclined to think that everyone who says theyve had Ghost Encounters is lying, i know ppl personally who have stories who i dont think are lying and it would be presumptuous to say like “well but they probably didnt REALLY x y or z,” and yet still i am always skeptical abt the whole thing. i am agnostic abt everything ever re afterlife stuff, but again—if we’re in a horror movie haunted house situation and shits going down, im going to assume ghosts and everything ive heard about them is true and act accordingly until we’re out of there, Greg The Adamant Disbeliever can have fun dying. and catch me not messing around w ouija boards or any of that shit either...im good.

if you could go back in time which time period would you visit? visit....damn i dunno.

would you want to live forever? why/why not? i mean if other ppl are doing it to then it might be fine. but like me specifically as things are now living forever, im not much interested. someone else can have my immortality

what makes you sad? shit like, life man

was today typical? why/why not? yeah i didnt do anything interesting

who do you trust the most? i dont particularly distrust anyone but i dont really have anything i’d need to trust anyone over

what did you have for breakfast today? i didnt

do you have any regrets looking back in your life? not really

what’s your favorite fictional universe? i dont have one

favorite tv show? i dont have one

share a favorite quote. i have some but i’ll never be able to think of one on the spot

what does your ideal day look like? ahh idk. doing something fun while being around other people

do you have any hobbies? i guess drawing / writing count. theres other things but i dont do them regularly / recently

share a small random book passage that means something to you. dont have one

what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared? theres not really anything like that

do you usually date people your age or older/younger? neither

who means the world to you? why? any cat ive ever met b/c theyre angels

best books you’ve ever read? i guess i can plug the ashbury/brookfield books again

who is your favorite cartoon character? i gotta say lars dont i

coffee or tea? tea

would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved? loved but like by multiple ppl right? gimme that magnitude in Widely rather than Intensely

are you a dog or a cat person? i feel like only dog ppl consider this to be a real Binary

what is your biggest addiction? biting my lip endlessly lol

do you ever think about the galaxy? sure

what’s your favorite color? blue

do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not? nah...my sibs and i are like friendly acquaintances i guess. thatll be an abusive household i guess

are you a morning or a night person? night

have you ever dealt with a mental illness? I Guess

how would your friends describe you? uhhhh people say im funny sometimes

do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert? bit of both

what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do? i dont think i have any secrets there

describe yourself in 3 words. extremes, thoughtful, Gay

best memory as a child? idk i always liked swimming and going to pools / waterparks

what is your eye and hair color? blue / brown, respectively.

do you like crystals? theyre cool

if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? imperialism banned

what’s your hogwarts house? idk slytherin hufflepuff or smthing

biggest pet peeve? theres many..

would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet? well first i need the mythical best friend group but also can we be doing something more fun than a cocktail party

share a secret. I’ve Pooped Outside

would you rather live longer or happier? this might only be a difficult choice if it was live shorter or happier

who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why? nobody coz idk

do you wear glasses? yes

forest or river? forest

do you like exercise? its alright i dont like just straightup running though

do you like poetry? it depends on who the poet is. cishet white dudes shouldnt be allowed, for starters

any special talent that you have? i’m good at telling if lines are parallel lol

[maylovexhs]

GUILTY(H.S) - CHAPTER 8

Author’s Note: Yes, I haven’t uploaded a Guilty Chapter in a long time but I promise it’s worth it. Lots of dialogue. Enjoy loves!  For previous chapters you can find it in my Masterlist 

November 22, 2017

“Have you came up with any names” Dahila asked.

Yes, Dahila. Dex’s workaholic of a sister. She actually took a break to come see me. I didn’t know what for, but I enjoyed her company.

“A few” I said. “But my mother always said the name will come up you when you the moment is here”

“Hmm probably true for my brother” Dahila joked, as we stepped out of the elevator and into my apartment.

“I know what kind of a name is Dexter?” I played along.

It was dark, the place. Funny, since I usually leave them on for the dogs. Dex was here last.

“Why are all the lights closed?” I asked, turning on the switch.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” 

I jumped when I heard shouting from behind. I turned around to see all my friends together. Jennifer. Ashley. Emma. Blake. They all were here. I noticed pink decorations on the wall. Dahlia actually came here for a reason. I internally started to panic. This can’t be happening.

“Surprise! We wanted you to have a baby shower” Blake said gleaming with pride.

I nodded my head, trying to adjust to the scenery of my apartment. This couldn’t be worse timing. I’m in my nesting phase of my pregnancy. I wanted everything to be order just like how I like it. Not by a bunch of friends who come every once in a while. This is going to take forever to clean up.

“You should have told me” I gushed, blushing. “I’m nesting and needed a warning of all this” 

“Well, you’re about to give birth and you deserve this” Emma explained.

“I’m 31 weeks. I’m no where close to giving birth” I testified. 

“Give her a chance Mel” Dex said, coming out of the crowd. “It probably will be our last social outing” He joked.

I crossed my arms, thinking. It’s just one day, right?

“Fine” I said, giving in. “But no more surprises”

“Yay. Come on” Ashley grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the couch.

 Either everyone else followed me or went to the kitchen to get food.

“So tell us everything” Ashley asked while we sat down.

“Do you want something to drink?” Dahlia asked, interrupting our conversation.

“Get her the pink lemonade” Emma suggested.“It’s good”

“Pink it is” I said with Dahlia going.

“Tell about what?” I asked. 

“The baby?”

“No silly. We all know about the baby already” Ashley said.

“All that matters that’s she’s healthy and her parents are fine. It’s a she right?” Jen asked, referring to the baby.

“Omg Jen we told you it’s a girl!” Emma exclaimed.

“Sorry. You know I’m forgetful!” Jen said playing it off.

Dahlia came back with my lemonade. She set it on the table in front of me.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Dahlia asked. 

“No, no. I’m fine” I answered. “Come sit with us”

“I’m better standing” Dahlia said, smiling.

I shrugged at her response.

“How’s Dex? How’s he’s reacting to becoming a Dad?” Blake asked. 

“I know he hadn’t had the best example but I trust him. I know he’ll be a great dad” I said thinking about my future with him.

I took a sip of the pink lemonade.

“How about to Harry?” Ashley asked.

I almost choked on my lemonade when she brought him up.

“Harry?” I asked, surprised. 

“Your ex? You’re still friends with him right?” Ashley continued with her questions. 

“Yeah? And?” I asked, not being bothered.

“It must be weird. Having share your partner with an ex” Ashley stated.

“Ash, I think you’re making Mel a bit uncomfortable” Emma said, trying to steer the conversation away.

“Actually no” I replied.“Dex trusts me. Harry and I are obviously done with that phrase”

“Obviously. Have you seen him at the Victoria secret show?” Jen brought up.

“Wait isn’t he with-“ Dahlia tried to ask but I cut her off.

“Camille? I wouldn’t call it that. It’s more of a stunt” I confirmed.

“How do you know?” Blake asked.

“I never seen them kiss. What couple doesn’t kiss?” I spoke.

“A couple that doesn’t show pda?” Ashley pointed out.

“Sounds like you and Dex” Jen claimed.

“What?!? We do kiss?!” I defended us.

“Not in the magazines I read” Jen responded.

“I’ll be back” Dahlia said to me.

*DEX’S POV*

I should have left earlier. Being surrounded by all girls was not fun. I’ve been distracting myself with my phone till now when Dahlia walked up to me.“Yes?” I asked her, still looking at my phone.

“So . . You and Amelia?” Dahlia brought up. 

I knew she was up to something. Being her twin, we shared the same sense of mischief. I could always sense when something was wrong.

“Why do have a smug look on your face?” I asked, turning to her. 

“You know why” Dahlia grinned. “When are you going to propose?”

Was I surprised? No. Disappointed in Dahlia to not trust my intentions with Amelia? Yes.

“Excuse me? Propose?”

“She’s pregnant with your baby, Dexter. It only makes sense” Dahlia reminded.

“I’m not going to propose while she’s pregnant” I said.

“Why not? The baby is just gonna make her want her freedom more” Dahlia voiced. 

I got a bit offended when she involved the baby.

“Are you saying the baby-“

“All I’m saying it’s better now than later. Besides you’re not the man they are talking about right now” Dahlia stated.

“What?” I asked, taken off guard.

“You heard me. Take my advice Dex. Before it’s too late” Dahlia said before walking away.

I can’t believe I’m related to her.

AMELIA’S POV

“PRESENT TIME! Everyone come around! You too father!” Emma shouted.

I sat on the chair closest to the presents. Dexter sat beside me and held hands with me, being supportive.

“Just so you know Victoria gave us a list of what you wanted” Blake said to me.

“Oh great now I dont have to go shopping” I lied. 

Everyone knows mother knows best. Best baby carriage. Best crib. I’m probably gonna return everything.

“So which one do you want to open first?” Dex asked me.

“Depends did you get me a present?” I smiled, knowing he did. 

“White box with pink ribbons” He pointed to it. 

“You heard him” I said to Emma.

“Wanna open it?” She asked grabbing it.

“Sure” I answered.

She handed it to me. I started to unwrap it by untying the ribbons. I looked inside the box to find a bear. An identical bear I had when I was a child but much new. 

“Oh my god. You didn’t!” I exclaimed, almost on the edge of an emotional outburst.

I could have sworn my mother threw it out as I got older.

“I know you wanted to give it to her. Plus” 

Dex pressed the leg of the bear. An “I love you” in his voice was heard. I wiped my tears away as they streamed down my cheeks.

“Thank you” I said with a sincere smile.

“I know” Dex said nodding.“What next?” Emma asked me.“Oooh do that big box in the other room!” Jen suggested.“There’s a big box?” I asked, surprised. “Yup! I can move it here” Jen said.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

She may have been in many actions movies but I seriously doubted her strength right now.

“Yeah, I moved it a little before” She said.

Jen walked into the dining room. I got up and followed her. With me came all the other girls and Dex. The box was pretty big. It must have took forever to tie ribbons around the whole white box. It was almost my height but a bit shorter. Jen began to pushing the box but failing to move it.

“Jen” I called on her, trying to get her to stop.

“I swear I could. I work out for a reason!” She defended.

“Just stop” I stated. “Who is it from?”

Jen ripped the tag on top off, reading it.

“It says . . H” Jen said.

Harry. I smiled at the thought of him. 

“H as in Harry?” Emma asked me.

“Open it” I said.

Blake joined Jen in untying the box. Once they did, the sides of the box fell down revealing a bear. A big gigantic bear. 

“A gift for a baby? More like a gift for me?” Ashley joked.

“Well I think that beats all of our presents” Emma said. 

“There’s also a card with it” Blake said reaching down to grab it next to the bear.

“I’ll read it later. Where the hell are we gonna put this?” I asked, looking to Dex. 

“It definitely won’t fit in the crib” Dex answered.

“I’ll keep it!” Ashley shouted in a sarcastic tone.

The rest of the girls laughed. Best baby shower ever. Probably my only baby shower ever.

“How many baby books did we get?” Dex asked opening another present.

It was late at night, a quarter to 11 exactly. I, of course, being in her nesting phrase had to clean the entire house after the party by myself. Dex volunteered to help too but I was reluctant since I insisted everything to be clean in ‘my way’. I did let him put the leftover food away.

“Probably a bunch. Baby books are a safe bet” I said nuzzling into the bear Harry brought.

 Dex threw the baby books on the couch next to where he sat. He turned to me.

“That’s supposed to be for the baby, Mel” Dex reminded. 

“I can’t help it. My tiredness kicked in and it’s just so cuddly” I said, hugging the bear tighter.

Dex opened another present.

“Wow we really can’t get rid of him!” He said, in a sarcastic voice.

“What?” I asked, turning to him.

Dex took out a book and showed it to me.

“Harold and purple crayon book” He said, referring to the book.

“Speaking of him, can you FaceTime him?” I asked Dex.

“Why? It’s your baby shower” Dex mentioned.

“I wanna say thanks for the bear” I said.

Dexter reached for my phone that was on the table. He already knew my passcode and FaceTime Harry. Harry quickly picked up.

“Dexter! Hiya bud” I heard Harry from the phone.

“Hey bro! Someone wants to see you” Dexter said before turning the phone in the direction of me.

“‘Melia! Yeh’ got my present!” Harry said, obviously excited.

“Yeah! It’s so cuddly! I just wanted to say thanks” I said, hugging the bear again.

“Yeh’ like it?” He asked, smiling. 

“I don’t like it. I love it. And I love you too” I said, with my tiredness taking over my mind.

I truly didn’t know what I was going to say until the moment I said it.Harry lips turned into sweet smile.

“I love you too ‘Melia” Harry said.

Dexter turned the phone back in the direction of him.

“Just not in a love love way right?” Dex asked, pretending to be jealous.

I laughed at the situation.

“A friendship love” I said, smiling.

Dex winked at me, understanding what I meant. 

“Anyways thank you” Dex said to Harry. 

“No probl’em” Harry said.

“When are you coming back?” I quickly asked.

“In a few weeks. I have a couple of shows left” Harry said.

“Well finish them fast” I said. “I missed our tourist outings” 

“I’ll try my best” Harry spoke.

“We gotta go Harry” Dex said switching the topic. “Some of us have to sleep” 

“Al’right. Goodnight yeh two” Harry said.

“FaceTime you tomorrow H” I yelled, promising him. 

“I’ll FaceTime you later. Goodnight Mel. Night Dex” Harry said.

Time zones. I loved them and yet I hated them.

“Goodnight!” Dex and I wished him at the same time.

Dex ended the call, setting my phone on the couch.I got up from the floor, grabbing and carrying the bear and started to carry it with me to the bedroom.

“Are you taking it to bed?” Dex asked.

“I can’t help it. It’s so cuddly!” I stated, walking slowly.

“Does this mean I’m sleeping to the couch?” 

“Unless you beat me!” I loudly said.

“That’s a goddamn bet!” Dex shouted behind me.

I heard footsteps stomp louder as they got closer. Dex passed me and jumped on the bed. When I got to the bedroom, I set the bear against my dresser. I got into bed, putting my lips out for Dex to kiss me which he did. I certainly could be happy if every night was like this.

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

[riotatthemovies]

Helloooo Everybody.. 

QUESTIONS WITH RIOT. TODAYS GUEST RON FORD!

So here is a nice big post for you to read, see it on my tumblr page and the facebook group and maybe in a new book someday. I will be reaching out to B movie directors and actors in the next week or so with a handful of (often similar questions) . They are not real time interveiws , I just sent them the questions and they msgd me back. Todays victim of Riots questions is actor director RON FORD, not to be mistaken to Toronto past mayor Rob. Those who know Riot at the Movies and our regular screening parties in Toronto will know of Ron Ford from when I was given a vhs copy of Mark of Dracula. Ron directed the film and played the amazing Sheriff in it. That movie became a regular talk to the group as we saw how his cast and contacts would connect to other Riot at the movie favorites like Eyes of the Werewolf AND if you read my first book you will remember my writing about Alien Agenda Endangered Species during my first 24 hr marathon with films chosen by you the readers. Also I play the trailer for his movie TIKI about yes a killer Tiki on a regular basis before my monthly screenings so Im sure lots of you know that as well. So lets get to the questions.. hello Ron Ford, first question iiissss, Whats your favorite type of monster?

Ron Ford: Oh I like all kinds. The Creature is my favorite from a design standpoint. I love giant monsters a lot, Kong is probably the greatest monster movie ever, though there are really only a handful of truly good movies in the genre. Most of them are indistinguishable from each other, plot wise. I also love those that are rich with societal and psychological subtext. The Invisible Man, vampires and Frankenstein fall into that category. Werewolves too. - So how's that for dancing around a question?

Adam Riot : I dont think danced I think I got what I expected from the guy behind Hollywood Mortuary. Of all the movies you have made what was your favorite?

Ron Ford: Of the features I like The Crawling Brain the most. It is the closest to the movie I saw in my head when writing it. But my absolute favorite is a short called The Cosmological Constant, which sort of encapsulates all my conclusions about science and religion. It's a drama with science fiction overtones, not one for gore hounds or those looking for action, but it's very thoughtful and even-handed and all the performances are professional, polished and moving. I hope to share it with the world soon. It's currently enrolled in a dozen or so festivals, so I've got to let that play out.

Adam Riot :From experience or finished project, what made it your favorite?

Ron Ford: It is the most polished film I ever made, and for once I didn't cast just friends (although they are all my friends), but sought out the best actors in town. I also am proud of it's subtlety and even-handedness. Personally I definitely side with science over religion. But I treated both sides of the debate with compassion and sensitivity. Religious people will relate to that side of the story without feeling slighted. It is my most thoughtful and my most emotional film at the same time. I always hear sniffles in that audience every time I screen it. And frankly it still chokes me up when I watch it, and I've seen it literally a hundred times. It also captures my deep interest in cosmology and astrophysics.

Adam Riot: Have you made films that you have not shown to the world that you just didnt like so you hid it away?

Ron Ford: Yeah some I cringe to watch, but I don't hide them away. Even my worst (Snake-Man) is on YouTube for the world to scoff and laugh at. Bad reviews often give me a tickle, if they are written with humor. I know they are not masterpieces, and I'm glad people can enjoy some of them as camp.

Adam Riot: Ohhhh I have not seen Snake Man, cough cough made a Snakemen movie recently but wont be finished till after the isolation.

Next question, What movies in a micro budget genre have impressed you recently?

Ron Ford: I am afraid I'm not up on the current micro-budget filmmakers. I have always enjoyed the works of Eric Stanze, Scooter Macrae, Kevin Lindenmuth and Jeff Leroy. The only one I've seen lately was a preview of Seb Godin's Erotic Rites of the Vampyr which was a lovely mood piece.

Adam Riot: We love Seb here as we played Dinogore at our festival from last month.

Next Question What makes you lose your love for independent films, the people? the money? the response from friends or buyers?

Ron Ford: Making money is the most difficult part. Gone are the days when you could sell the most poorly shot piece of junk based solely on some cool box artwork. My biggest bitch with most of them is poor sound and poor acting, two things I am woefully guilty of myself, especially in my early works.

Adam Riot : You have been making movies for a long time with a lot of different people , how do you feel friendship in the independent film world is important and how hard would it be without close friends?

Ron Ford: Essential. Since people are volunteering their time, you better be nice to them and you better make it fun for them. That's easiest with friends. Many of the friendships I've made making films have become lifelong pals.

Adam Riot: What do you like doing more directing or Acting?

Ron Ford: Directing, but I have improved as a screen actor a lot, to the point that I am now a SAG actor. I do lots of commercials and TV. I spend a lot more time as an actor than a director these days, and make a shit ton more money at it. My other great passion in life is the theater. On stage I would much rather act than direct. In fact it's what I love more than anything. I have directed a couple plays, but stopped doing it because it's just not something I enjoy that much.

Adam Riot: Ron Ford musical on broadway, I am hoping thats down the road. But whats your thoughts on the streaming services, direct download, tubitv that kind of thing? Any opinion?

Ron Ford: I'm glad for them. Now lots of films not produced expensively enough to get play on tv or in theaters can still find a home and an audience. The more venues the better.

Adam Riot: The world is waiting for more Mark of Dracula, what is the sheriff doing these days?

Ron Ford: He's still in there, policing my moods and calling me out when I act like an asshole. He is my conscience. It's one of my earliest efforts and, despite it's crudeness, it has a warm place in my heart. I'd love to see it on DVD or Blu Ray someday. I am so grateful that some hardcore microbudget watchers are still watching and enjoying it.

Thank you so much Ron I hope to see so much more in the future, stay safe and stay awesome. BUT for you readers and watchers in the group we will have Ron Fords emotion short Cosmological Constant as the pre show for Toonie Tuesday.. this week, so yeah two days away. At 8 30 we will play Rons short and at 9 is a random older b movie for us to stream here in the Riot at the movies facebook group. Join us for Rons deeper side science and religion and I apologize if I ruin it with something cheesy right after as I have yet to decided on our nights feature, hey its online and its madness out there we can swing what ever emotion we want right now. Again thank you Ron and I hope to see all of you on Tuesday, two days aways, April 7th, 8 30 right on the facebook page wwooo.

[peterpparkrr]

Changing the Tide: An Avengers Fanfic (3/7)

Summary: Wanda Maximoff is the new girl in town and also reconciling with the death of her twin brother, Pietro. As she starts to navigate her new life she manages to stumble into friendship with a group of teens who are surprisingly similar to her

A/N: This is basically just a highschoolAU for the Avengers without powers.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Clint didn’t have to go too far before he realized where she must have gone. Against his better judgement he slowly opened the door to the girls bathroom.

He walked in to see a girl washing her hands. He expected her to yell at him and pushing him back out but she just rolled her eyes and pointed at the end stall, “I don’t know what you did but she seems properly upset.” She said as she dried her hands.

Once the girl was gone the bathroom was empty other than the last stall, the one that Wanda was presumably in.

“Hey Wanda?” He asked softly, “Are you in there?”

Clint could hear a sniffle through the door followed by the sound of her blowing her nose.

“Listen, I’m really sorry about what Tony said, he is too, by the way. Which never happens. Like, ever.” He said, leaning against the door to the closed stall, “I’m getting sidetracked, I don’t know what you’re going through, no one can, but I do know that I’ll do my best to help you, all of use will. I swear we’re good people, even Tony! He just says the wrong thing sometimes.”

Clint rubbed his hands over his face, trying to find the right words, “What I’m trying to say, is that you should give us a second chance.”

The sniffling stopped and Clint held his breath.

“Okay,”  Wanda said, standing up and opening the door, causing Clint to almost fall on top of her, “Sorry about that.”

“You’re fine, fine.” He said, trying not to look too embarrassed, “Tony really wants to apologize to you - if you’re okay with that.”

Wanda ran a hand through her hair before nodding, “Okay.” she said, figuring she might as well, “But, I don’t think I’m going to go back to lunch.”

“That’s fine, I‘ll just tell him to meet us in the hallway.” Clint replied, pulling out his phone and sending a quick text, “Do you mind if we…?”

Wanda looked at him, perplexed, before realizing that he wanted to leave the girls bathroom, “Of course, let's go.”

The walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway towards the lunchroom, as they turned the corner they we nearly run over by Tony.

“Oh thank god, I came as soon as I got Clint’s text, I just wanted to apologize to you Wanda, if I had know I never would have said anything like that and it will never happen again and I’m so so sorry.”

Wanda held up a hand, “Tony,” she said slowly, “It’s okay, I shouldn’t have freaked out that much, you obviously did it on purpose.”

Tony looked at her hopefully.

“Of course I accept your apology.” She added and she couldn’t help but giggle slightly when Tony’s face broke out into a grin.

“Is it okay if I hug you? Too bad, I’m going to hug you.” Tony said, scooping her into a giant bear hug.

Wanda stood, slightly dazed for a second before hugging him back slightly awkwardly. A guy with dark hair and glasses turned the corner and made eye contact with Wanda before quickly walking past with his head down.

“Bruce!” Tony shouted as the boy walked past him, “Did you think you could just ignore me?” He says. Bruce smiled awkwardly at Wanda.

“Of course not, I just didn’t realize it was you.” He says quietly, his tone serious. A total juxtaposition to Tony.

“Wanda,” He said, turning to her, “This is Bruce Banner, he’s one hundred times more brilliant than me and slightly taller. Bruce, this is Wanda, she’s new.” Clint scoffed slightly at Tony’s comment.

“Hi,” Wanda said shyly.

“Should we had back to lunch?” Clint asked.

Both Bruce and Wanda shook their heads before realizing the other was doing the same thing and glance at each other. Clint and Tony both chuckled and shared a knowing look about how similar they were both were.

“I have to get to math, I wanted to ask Ms. Hill about some of the advanced work I’m doing,” Bruce told the group.

“Oh, I have calculus with Ms. Hill next to,” Wanda said, glancing at Bruce, trying to read him.

“Well then, you guys better go together,” Clint said with a grin, “Because I still have half of a turkey sandwich and a bag of chips left.”

Bruce sighed but nodded as Clint and Tony headed back to the lunchroom, “They mean well.” He told Wanda.

Wanda nodded before realizing that Bruce wasn’t like the others in the group, he was much more reserved though she couldn’t tell why, he was just as brilliant as the others, arguably more so if Tony was any indication.

“What are you thinking?” Bruce asked, glancing down at her.

“Nothing, just trying to figure you out I guess.” Wanda replied with a small grin.

“Really? There isn’t much to figure out. I’m geeky and nerdy and have weird friends.” Bruce replied with a slight smirk.

“Well I know that, I’m more interested in why you’re so quiet and why you’re friends with them,” Wanda replied with a shrug, “I mean, obviously you’re not going to tell me, but it’s better than not thinking about anything.”

“Well, once I know you’re not crazy or something maybe I’ll tell you, but my friends with those guys because they’re good people and we work well together, we’re a team.” Bruce replied, not really sure if he wanted to say anything else.

“Fair enough,” Wanda said with a shrug, “And why were Clint and Tony being so weird about us walking to class together?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Who knows, they spend too much of their free time trying to set me up with girls.” He replied with a shrug, glancing down at his shoes, “Other than Natasha I’m the only person in our friend group who’s single, and they’re too scared to try and set her up with anyone so it’s just me.”

“Really, they’re all in relationships?” Wanda asked, slightly surprised, she’d never known highschool relationships to be particularly serious, or important.

“Sort of. All of the seniors are paired off. Tony and Pepper are on and off, Thor and Jane are dating, obviously, Darcy has a thing for whoever her lab partner is at the time, and Steve and Peggy are perfect for each other but they’re both to polite to make a move.” Bruce explains with a shrug as they walk into their math classroom.

Wanda glanced at Bruce as he walked over to Ms. Hill and started asking her questions that had something to do with calculation thermodynamics and a bunch of other stuff that she didn’t understand.

After a few minutes of the pair of them pouring over a notebook filled with hastily done calculations the bell rang and people slowly started trickling into the class.

“Sorry about that,” Ms. Hill said as she looked up from the notebook and seemed to suddenly remember the Wanda was still standing there awkwardly, “I would have introduced myself sooner, I just tend to get a bit excited when Bruce asks for help.” She said, giving Bruce a glowing look that made him look slightly embarrassed, “I figured that he would have surpassed doing anything I could understand a long time ago.”

Wanda nodded politely, not sure what to say.

“Oh, I’m Ms. Hill, nice to meet you, Wanda, isn’t it?” She said.

Wanda nodded in response, “Nice to meet you too.”

“Well, no one really follows the seating chart in this class so you can sit with Bruce if you want, he can help get you caught up on what we’ve done so far this year.” She said.

“I tend to sit in the back,” Bruce said, walking towards one of the tables in the back of the room. And setting his backpack down on the floor, “Ms. Hill gave me your textbook,” he said, setting it down in front of Wanda, “And some of the worksheets we’ve done.”

“Wait- when?” Wanda asked, she hadn’t seen her give it to him while the two had been talking before class.

“Oh, a few days ago I asked for it,” He replied, looking down at his own work, shuffling it awkwardly into a pile, “Clint kind of let us know that you were coming.”

“Oh,” Wanda said awkwardly, now she knew why they had all been so nice to her, there was no way that people like them would normal be nice to her, “Now everything makes more sense.”

“Don’t tell Clint that I told you though-”

“Why? Because I wasn’t supposed to know that he had all of his friends babysitting me?” Wanda asked angrily, not that it brought any attention to her, her voice was so soft that it just blended into all of the other conversations happening in the room.

“It’s not like that, Clint just told us that you were new and since you came into the school year late you were going to need help catching up,” Bruce says, staying insanely calm, which bothered Wanda for some reason, “We volunteered to helping you out, and you happened to have most of your classes with at least one of us anyway. We’re just trying to be decent human beings.”

Wanda shook her head and looked down at the work laid out in front of her. At least she was pretty good at math, she could probably work hard to get caught up in the other classes too, then they wouldn’t need to feel bad for her and would just leave her alone.

[msawesomeworld]

Royalty not loyalty Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry that it is technically an hour late, but i had no wifi all day. Hope you enjoy anyway. I am working constantly on this fic actually wanting chapters so that i am able to finish it.

Read the other chapters here.

“There’s no chance for us. It’s all decided for us.” 

- Queen.

Stella’s P.O.V.

We kept on partying and stayed together as a group all night, we might as well. When we felt like it we went back into the limo with some bottles and drove off to the beach. I was pretty drunk, along with everyone else, it had been a bit of a night. The boys had done some lines but nothing major. Louis sat beside me and kept feeding me the bottle I was drinking. He tried way too hard. We somehow ended up thinking truth or dare was a good idea. Because we were 14 or something.

“Stella, truth or dare bitch?” Skylar said with a smile and I chuckled taking a drink.

“Truth.” I said and her smirk faded.

“Come on that is not fair, that is the second time in a row. You can’t chicken out any more.” She said smirking again and I rolled my eyes sighing.

“Fine, dare me if you dare.” I said chuckling, I took a sip and she smirked widely.

“Okay, I dare you to make out with whoever you think is hottest in this limo, besides me of course.” She said chuckling.

I sat back and looked at them wondering who I would like to make out with. Of course I would love to make out with both Robert and Louis whose faces seemed to be meant for that. Wait what? Oh right, I get horny when I am drunk. I smirked and handed the bottle to Skylar who cheered.

I leaned in over Louis who was smirking wider than a chesire cat thinking he had won. I put my hand on his face and I leaned slowly in feeling his hot breath on my face. I padded it once and leaned beside him and kissed Victoria, the boys and Skylar whooped beside me and I leaned out and chuckled I grabbed my bottle and shrugged at Skylar.

“You never said it had to be one of the boys.” And she just laughed at me.

We arrived at the beach and ran out of the car fooling around with each other. Drunk was an understatement. High on life but low on balance I sat down in the sand not caring if it ruined my dress. The others apparently had the idea that skinny dipping was a great idea. I took sip of the bottle and handed it to the person I could feel sitting down beside me.

“So tell me princess, how does it feel to let lose a little?” Louis said I chuckled and took the bottle from him.

“I’m not skinny dipping yet am I?” I said and he chuckled.

“And why are you depriving the world and more importantly me of that wonderful image?” He said and I laughed taking a sip of the bottle.

“I like my dignity and it is fun not pleasing you.” I said and he grabbed the bottle from my hand holding it still looking me in the eyes.

“Fuck your dignity. Let lose for once, what have you got to lose?” He said and I chuckled pulling the bottle back towards me.

“Said dignity, face, and I’m pretty sure my parents would disown me if they found out.” I said and the smile faded from his face.

“Do you always do what your parents tell you to do?” He asked looking at me seriously. I shook my head but sighed.

“Not when I can get away with not doing so, but they do have some power. And I don’t know about you, but I would rather cry at the back of a limo than laugh in the front seat of a Zuzuki alto or some shit.” I said and he smirked again.

“Cheers to that.” He said finally taking the bottle and taking a few sips from it.

I got up from the sand and left him there while he was distracted shortly. He yelled my name and I turned around.

“What are you doing princess?” He asked and I chuckled turning around.

“Coursing some havoc of course.” And with those words I stripped out of my dress and ran in my underwear into the water joining the others.

He was right, it was fun letting lose and I should do it more often. But I knew I could not and I would go back to reality soon. Back to being pretty little miss perfect. So I decided not for his sake but for my own to go skinny dipping. Enjoy the freedom while it lasts. I should really stop listening to Louis, he is gonna get me in trouble, and I just might let him.

After being crowned we had the full weekend at a cabin in the woods where we would bond so that we could concentrate whenever there was a meeting. Of course we had to sleep in pairs because everyone, especially including my parents, expected us to end up with one of the other royals. I did not feel that way about Rian, but would probably be forced to marry him in a couple of years. Plus we were good friends, so I did not mind having to share a room with him.

I got up feeling major hungover, but after drinking bottles of champagne, I should not be surprised. I walked downstairs where there were pancakes and what else the people had prepared for us. Skylar was sitting with sunglasses on and Victoria looked surprisingly good. I ate the fruit bowl and yogurt in front of me, while all I wanted was a big mac, I had a figure to keep. The guys joined us and we kept talking to a minimal till we all had had some coffee and an aspirin. Louis sat beside me smirking at me. I was too tired to care how he magically looked good hungover. When I was done eating I made eye contact with Skylar who nodded and got up from her seat and I followed suit. Victoria did the same, even though, like I said, she looked gorgeous.

“We are gonna go, look presentable. Boys, be ready in an hour, then it is time for our first task.” Skylar said and I smirked and walked away.

Skylar had her stylist flown in and they got to work on us while we had some girl talk.

“So what is our first task gonna be? I hope it involves me making out with Robert.” Skylar said and Victoria and me’s mouths opened at her statement.

“Do you do anything that do not involve sex Skye?” Victoria asked smiling a little at her, Skylar just shrugged.

“I work in fashion, sex is something that I think about a lot, it sell you know?” She said and I chuckled.

“You should not laugh Stella, I have seen you making googly eyes at both Rian and Louis.” She said and I looked at her offended and hit her arm.

“No way, besides Rian and I am just friends, the only way that will happen is if my parents force me to.” I said and she looked at me disgusted.

“The fact that your parents interfere with your sex life, ew.” She said and I rolled my eyes and shrugged, that was just how the game was, if they fit okay together and would be good for business that was how it would go.

Being forced to marry someone, and while I would love to follow my childhood dream of marrying out of love, that was just unrealistic. Especially if it was someone who was beneath me. I would be disowned, and like I said to Louis last night: I would much rather cry in the back of a limo than smile in the front seat of a Zuzuki. I was raised that way, I am certain that I could take care of myself, but I do not know how to behave in the real world. I enjoyed luxury, but I enjoyed the simpler things as well. The small moments I have spent with my father was amazing. He was actually a simple man, who was just lucky to make a billion before he was 20 and getting into the sculls and meeting my mother. She has always been like this, rich family, nothing and no one came before the family image. So my father had me alone on some occasions and showed me the simpler things in life. Like the little joint in queens where he grew up, they have the best sandwiches. He thought me to enjoy the small things. My mother obviously disapproves, but he always managed to cover it up as something she deemed appropriate.

Victoria pulled me out of my train of thought and cleared her throat and shrugged.

“Be that as it may, that does not exclude Louis.” She said, and Skylar smirked and shrugged as well.

“If you dont tap that, I just might.” She said and I hit her arm chuckling.

“I don’t think Im his type. And I hear he is trouble. I don’t really feel like getting into trouble.” I said shrugging.

I turned around when I heard someone from the other end of the room, and saw Louis standing in the doorway smirking at me arms crossed. The other girls yelled at him to get out.

“The guys and I was just wondering how far you girls were.” He said and I raised my eyebrows looked at him.

“And they send you to check on us?” I said and he smirking and shrugged and walked towards me.

“I volunteered.” He said smirking I rolled my eyes at him.

“We will be done in 30 min tops. I need my hair the other girls need their make up and I have already picked out their clothes so should go smoothly.” Skylar said smiling up at him.

“Wait what? We are perfectly capable of dressing ourselves.” Victoria protested. But Skylar just shrugged and rolled her eyes at her.

“Of course you are, but when you are with someone who works in fashion. Why not use it?” Skylar said smirking.

I just chuckled at their whole ordeal, while Louis walked over to me and annoyingly enough the hair stylist let him get to me. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“Trying not to get into trouble. Sounds like an awful way to live.” He said only loud enough for me to hear. He smirked and then walked out of the room.

A/N: that is it for this time, if you can not wait till i post more feel free to read my other fics they should be just as cool, find them here.

[marcusssanderson]

50 Martin Luther King Jr. Quotes Celebrating Hope and Dignity

This Martin Luther King Jr. quotes collection will help you honor his legacy.

On the third Monday of every January, the United States celebrates the life and achievements of Martin Luther King Jr. It is a day to honor a man who’s legacy continue’s to challenge and break barriers.

Dr. Martin Luther King was committed to peace, non-violent social change and equality for all. He was a civil rights leader and organizer whose influence is still felt today.

We can honor his legacy by applying some of his principles to our own lives. You can honor him by dreaming bigger than your imagination and making a commitment to make a positive change in your life and to those around you.

To celebrate Dr. King’s work, you can volunteer in a way that gives back to your community, take the time to learn something new, take action against racial injustice, and appreciate the strides King made while also recognizing the change still needed.

In honor of his legacy, below is our collection of inspirational Martin Luther King Jr. quotes, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Martin Luther King Jr. quotes celebrating hope and dignity

1.) ”Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. ” – Martin Luther King Jr.

2.) ”We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war but the positive affirmation of peace.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

3.) ”So even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

4.) ”I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

5.) ”You can kill the dreamer, but you can’t kill the dream.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

6.) ”Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

7.) ”There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him it is right.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

8.) ”There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

9.) ”Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

10.) ”The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to honor his legacy

11.) ”There is nothing more majestic and sublime than the quiet testimony of a people willing to sacrifice and suffer for the cause of freedom.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

12.) ”The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

13.) ”As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation — either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

14.) ”We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

15.) ”If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

16.) ”One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized, cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

17.) ”Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

18.) ”Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

19.) ”A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

20.) ”The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to inspire you to dream bigger

21.) ”Even in the inevitable moments when all seems hopeless, men know that without hope they cannot really live, and in agonizing desperation they cry for the bread of hope.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

22.) ”In the midst of outer dangers I have felt an inner calm and known resources of strength that only God could give. In many instances I have felt the power of God transforming the fatigue of despair into the buoyancy of hope.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

23.) ”The time is always right to do the right thing.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

24.) ”I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. ” – Martin Luther King Jr.

25.) ”Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

26.) ”Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

27.) ”For when people get caught up with that which is right and they are willing to sacrifice for it, there is no stopping point short of victory.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

28.) ”Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

29.) ”We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

30.) ”True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to help you stay committed to your goals and dreams

31.) ”An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

32.) ”If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

33.) ”There is no gain without struggle.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

34.) ”Quietly endure, silently suffer and patiently wait.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

35.) “Never, never be afraid to do what’s right. Especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society’s punishments are small compared to the ones we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

36.) ”It is not possible to be in favor of justice for some people and not be in favor of justice for all people.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

37.) ”Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

38.) ”Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

39.) ”One day the absurdity of the almost universal human belief in the slavery of other animals will be palpable. We shall then have discovered our souls and become worthier of sharing this planet with them.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

40.) ”And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to inspire positive change

41.) ”There is nothing more dangerous than to build a society with a large segment of people in that society who feel that they have no stake in it; who feel that that have nothing to lose. People who have stake in their society, protect that society, but when they don’t have it, they unconsciously want to destroy it.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

42.) ”I said to my children, ‘I’m going to work and do everything that I can do to see that you get a good education. I don’t ever want you to forget that there are millions of God’s children who will not and cannot get a good education, and I don’t want you feeling that you are better than they are. For you will never be what you ought to be until they are what they ought to be.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

43.) ”One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

44.) ”If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

45.) ”A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

46.) ”Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

47.) ”There comes a time when people get tired of being pushed out of the glittering sunlight of life’s July and left standing amid the piercing chill of an alpine November.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

48.) ”I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

49.) ”The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But… the good Samaritan reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

50.) ”The end of life is not to be happy, nor to achieve pleasure and avoid pain, but to do the will of God, come what may.” –  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Which of these Martin Luther King Jr. quotes was your favorite?

Martin Luther King Jr. will always be remembered as the most important voice of the American civil rights movement, which worked for equal rights for all. He did all he could to make people realize that “all men are created equal.”

Dr. King was a tireless activist who deeply valued the meaningful change that committed individuals can make when working toward good. Hopefully, the above quotes will help you honor Martin Luther King Jr. and his legacy.

Did you enjoy these Martin Luther King Jr. quotes? Which of the quotes was your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.

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