#if i didnt think it was entertaining at all i wouldnt write a whole thing about it

[huginn-on-the-loose]

Naturally, much like all others, I have my thoughts about Apology Tour.

Looking at it from production value, writing and all that jazz- it's just so fucking good. I saw plenty of Media Illiterates harping on it for 'not making sense', having 'plot holes', 'retconning characters'- and honestly there is no reason to entertain any of these supposed 'critiques', since all of them either pick and choose what to harp on or their ability to see nuance and story clues is so low it practically hit the bottom of Mariana Trench.

To briefly touch on Full Moon, both Stolas and Blitz messed that one up- but honestly, it was long coming, and I dont think there was any possible way both of them could prevent that, especially as that would require something neither were able to do- and that is talk and listen.

The Book Deal was obviously yikes, and to have any healthy relationship, it had to go- that was a step in right direction for Stolas, who realized that this was wrong, and I applaud him for that. But in his well meaning way, he forgot one important thing- to actually talk to Blitz about it.

Blitz, sadly, has a very unhealthy view of his own person. I would argue, actually, that his hypersexuality is not unlike that of an Angel Dust, because one needs to hit the lowest of low to be able to disregard and be indifferent to their own body like that. It could be its own separate post, but from Blitz's past, we know only of two loves he had- his crush on Fizz, which most likely never came to fruition, and his relationship with Verosika.

From the newest episode, we know it got pretty serious- and that Verosika considered it to be extremelly humiliating to open like that emotionally and have it blow up in her face. Seeing their 'photo' together- the illustration done- where she has a large fat 'NO' over her skirt, it really makes me wonder how comfortable young Verosika was with the fact she was seen as piece of meat- a desirable plaything, good only for one thing, and that's sex.

Blitz, obviously, is a well travelled imp; looking through the 'exes' at the party, there is fair amount of succubi/incubi, shark demons from greed, and some of the goat demons from sloth. Sprinkling of imps, yes- but it wouldnt be a far reach to expect that Blitz had to spend a fair amount in both Lust and Greed ring, to meet those specific people.

People like to talk about how naive and inexperienced Stolas is, while the party is a tapestry of Blitz' own experiences- but like, everyone conveniently forgets that Blitz was once naive and inexperienced as well. Verosika called him a 'selfish imp in the sheets'- partly out of spite probably- but we know the lenghts he went to have Stolas enjoy himself on full moons, and it makes me wonder how much of his 'selfishness' was him being selfish, and how much of it was, I don't know, dealing with another trauma? His vehemence of accusing Stolas of being just like all the other royals, and how he has an imp fetish, felt pretty personal.

25 years is a long time- we know the start of Blitz's major trauma, but there is no telling he had gained many other along the way. Him curled in fetal position after sleeping with Chaz really speaks for itself- there could have been a time where Blitz had nothing to offer to the table but himself, and it happened again and again until sex really became nothing but just another way to pay for something he needs, until making it part of his personality felt like the easier path to take instead of letting it devour him from the inside.

When he attempted to steal the book from Stolas, and then resigned himself to a pity sex because part of him didnt want to hurt Stolas' feelings even as they didnt havent seen each other for so long, his goal was to do it fast- probably his usual way of doing things- but he stayed the whole night instead.

That speaks of him enjoying the night, and when Stolas called about the deal offer, his irration was only about the timing, not the offer itself. I would go so far as say he welcomed it- what a perfect excuse to do something he enjoys without all the unnecessary emotional attachments. Only, Harvest Moon happened, with Striker (who at first was clearly a kindred spirit) managing to unsettle him by insulting his ability to be succesful, telling him he could be great but instead he is whoring himself out for a royal, and then Stolas unknowingly finishing the job. With Truth seekers following the Harvest Moon, where Stolas showed himself to be this all powerful demon while simultaneously demeaning Blitz again, he was already wavering- and then Ozzie's club did the rest.

Blitz, much like Striker, has a very poor opinion of the high class- only he is more quiet about it. With the doubts seeded, he started jerking away in the metaphorical chains he now thinks that Stolas put around him, and started paying closer attention to Stolas' actions, and clocking him as just another royal messing with him- thus taking the break offered from the Deal when he could, as a way to prove to himself he was no-one's pet.

Stolas, of course, in the meantime was grappling with his own issues. His daughter, the divorce, his own depression, his growing feelings for Blitz and the realization just how abhorrent the Book Deal was. Correctly, he realized that this needs to change, and - also somewhat correctly- realized his actions were hurting Blitz. His desire for something genuine and his doubt of getting it while the book was between them peaked when he got kidnapped and Blitz didnt even visit him while in the hospital- trouble is, he never even considered that Blitz might have deeper issues that would act as an obstacle between the two of them having a relationship.

Neither of them knows the other- not really. Stolas has guessed that Blitz put walls around himself to survive, and that the book didnt help the matters; he mentions he is aware Blitz is of a lower station but he doesnt trully know what it entails. To him, those are just two different responsibilities- he doesnt see the discrimination or bias, not yet. He doesnt know about the life Blitz lived, being hated by everyone he loved, causing pain to those he loved, and hurtling through life leaving destruction behind.

Similarly, Blitz sees the surface level of Stolas- the rich, all powerful prince, who cheated on his wife to get a fix. He sees all the power and oppoturnities he never had, wnd while at the beginning it was easy to bury himself in the sex, since Striker and Truth Seekers, he became only more sensitive to all the difference between their two lives. Sees the money, the splendour, sees the way Stolas treats his servant imps and it eats at him. He doesnt know about the abuse Stolas experienced from Stella, about the lack of parental love, doesnt know about his drinking problem or that he is so deep in depression he takes medicine for it. Doesn't know that Stolas is risking a lot in his life to be with Blitz.

And this is why they both blow up at each other as both lack context for each other's point. And they are both hurt for it more because they do, genuinelly, like each other and gravitate towards each other.

We can argue Blitz is being Blitz with his usual self-destructive tendencies- and he is, what's new?- but his frustration with Stolas is understandable, he was completely unprepared for the whole deal suddenly ending, and Stolas then dismissing him without any further explanation must have stung. That frustration continued when Stolas still refused to talk or even to turn to face him as Blitz was getting more and more agitated, finally culminated with getting thrown out the palace.

That is not to say that Stolas' own reactions were not justified. As an abuse survivor, heck, as a person, he is within every right to cut out people from his life if they cause him pain. There is a limit to how much one is able to take, and Blitz not only stamped all over his tentativelly offered heart, but then started screaming and insulting him, and he had enough of that from Stella. Stolas is done being someone's punching bag, and no matter how much he cares for Blitz, he refuses to let that continue- and then, of course, Blitz lets it slip that Striker had tried to kill him before and the sheer pain of that knowledge staggers him.

(Side note, I really think that Blitz genuinelly forgot- that whole expression was him realizing he never told Stolas about it and that the way he told him now was a major fuck up)

Before that confession, Stolas bringing up Striker was pure pettiness- as a father, he no doubt understood that Loona took preference, no matter how much it stung not to be saved personally, but at least he believed that Blitz cared, if not romantically. Now, he was not sure- and suddenly he feels hurt all over again, only this time it's worse, because what if Blitz never cared, not even a little?

Before he had no desire to go to Verosika's party, but after that, honestly, he just wanted to come to different thoughts.

Speaking of Verosika and her party, boy, she is so petty XD; I mentioned this in my other post, but while I understand her hurt and anger, her view of Blitz and any of his actions is very black and white. She villainized him, essentially stripped him of everything that made him a person in her eyes- and that automatically meant that every social interaction Blitz had that ended in a break up had a clear victim in her eyes, and Blitz was always at fault.

Considering the ensemble at the party (really, Dennis? A guy he french kissed like once?), Verosika is all to quick to shit on Blitz and doesnt bother getting the whole story out. Oh you know Blitz and he pushed you away? Welcome to the club, have a cake!

Seems to me, she only snapped out of that mentality after she overheard him talking to Stolas, as her mentioning that he made her feel guilty for being angry at him. Both of them seemed to have a bit of a wake up call- Blitz with his shitty ways and Verosika realising that maybe she was overdoing it (I sure hope so, I mean, burning effigies and violently murdering cake shaped like Blitz really makes her seem like the unhinged ex, not him- and I think Stolas agrees, if his horrified reaction means anything)

All in all, I see this episode as cathartic. Yes, the Stolitz ship is in shambles, but as it was, it could not continue; both because of the book, but also because both Blitz and Stolas are fundamentally broken people that need to take good long hard look at themselves and do better.

Stolas took a necessary step back from the mess that was their relationship and is not letting himself breath- start introspection of his own person because he has his own set of faults he needs to address, and Blitz's accusation about looking down on imps still rattles in his brain.

Blitz, for his part, already knew he was treating people shitty- but now he is finally acknowledging it, and admitting to himself he doesnt want to be like that. Hopefully he will work on being better- even if it means letting Stolas go because Blitz realize he himself is not in the state to be a good partner for him.

I think where Blitz's character is tragic is the fact that the circumstances of his life were better, he would be such a good person. He is loyal, fiercelly protective and sappy romantic at heart. He would move mountains for those he cares about, and is genuinelly happy when he sees them happy. He is still all those things- but sometimes burried so deep it's barely getting unearthed at times- we are lucky to only see slivers.

Going forward, I think we can expect Blitz opening more to others like Millie and Moxie- willingly or not. I doubt ever since the accident, he even had a chance to have a cathartic breakdown over that, instead bottling it all up.

[sweetshelluvaau]

wait when was fizz ooc /gen

like tbf we didnt know a lot about him off-stage before oops so even tho he wasnt what he expected i wouldnt necessarily say it was ooc

same for ozzie

Maybe ooc isn't exactly the right term (at least in Oops case, the Mammon episode, oh he was completely ooc imho. I explained my thoughts about this here) more than how the narrative has everyone in the show be like 'isn't Stolas great?' and just defending him like Fizz you barely even know the guy! That or the writers fear that they can't write an abuse victim which happens to also be a horrible person. They have to be the 'prefect victim'. They took Fizz's bite away in the Mammon episode where he couldn't stand up for himself let alone have these insecurities he didn't have before out of no where?

Fizz not being able to protect himself physically? Okay I can buy that he's not a fighter. Fizz walking on eggshells around Mammon? Completely understandable being he's both his idol and his boss. But I'm sorry he wouldn't have sit there and take Glitz and Glam insults without snapping back? He'd also chew out that obsessed fan as well (which would also show how he grew from a timid teenager to a Snarky Shit). Yeah he may get a word from Mr. Christmas Tree after for the fan thing, but with G&G? C'mon, a little drama is great entertainment Mammon would eat that shit up if it means more view and money.

However with the case of Oz: He was written as if he was a complete idiot just to make Stolas look better in Oops. Yeah thankfully he didn't kiss Stolas' ass and seems to not like the guy (and I know Viv is gonna recon that in the future because god forbid we have a character that isn't a villain not like Stolas) but the whole thing with the lawyer and and Ozzie making really rash decisions (I mean yes he's hot headed but he's not stupid) and really Stolas NOT needing to be there.

Also saw someone in the critical tag mention this today: I'm sorry, Ozzie would sense something is up with Stolas and his 'feelings' for Blitzo. We had this ham fisted consent speech that went over owl boys head and you're telling me a man who's lived for thousands of years and has most likely dealt with some of the worst of humanity and demons Earth and Hell have to offer isn't gonna sense any red flags? And considering how much he hates people like Mammon, I'm sure plenty of the Ars Goetia aren't any better.

In other words Ozzie could smell bullshit from a mile away.

Also I'm ranting about this again for the hundredth time but Ozzie wouldn't sit around listening to some lawyer, he'd go to rescue Fizz himself. The guy can teleport anyways so I'm sure he can easily sneak into Crimson's compound and lay down the smack down like it's no one business because he's a SIn for crying out loud! And maybe after seeing Blitzo keeping Fizz safe and having that conversation with Stolas, Oz would likely just give Blitzo the crystal as a thank you suppose to giving to Stolas to give it Blitzo being again, he's picking up bad vibes.

That or have Fizz deliver it at a later date. After all, it was Fizz who said he 'earned it' and who's word do you think Ozzie is going to take to heart? It sure ain't Hooters.

That being said I'd also blame the fact that the same character can act one way in another episode and then have a completely different personality in the next if it means fitting the narrative. No one character is consistent and can change if it means making a character look better or again, fits the narrative of that said episode. What did they have some character development the last few episodes ago? Never mind that we're back to their old self or better yet, they have a completely new personality all together the fuck?

Honestly, I'm kinda drained from making the same agreements all time. All I wanted was a silly demon show about some silly demon assassins, not whatever the fuck we got now. At this point I just want to focus mostly my AU and other projects.

[werebutch]

Ok i just said this to jesse but big oc ramble :P SECONDARY CHARACTER MENTION

Again seraph’s portrait is not updated yet now they look like my pinned post..

I think this is very cute and im glad i finally forced myself to write a summary cuz it made me figure everything out.. at least i have a ballpark idea of a plot instead of entertaining all these different possibilities.. originally i didnt want roadkill to be popular enough to tour but.. small bands go on small tours all the time.. it would make the story WAYYY more fun. Seraph is literally trapped with them. And also .. going on tour is pretty good cover for murders. Way better than having him kill in his small town and somehow not get caught.. which doesnt make sense. Hes not that smart lol, but i guess being a dog is good cover already. I also want them to tour because i want the band to be a central part of the story.. if it wasn’t (like some other ideas ive had) it wouldnt even make sense to include.. it would be clunky.. so yes tour it is..!

I feel like im finally getting somewhere.. also yes ulysses is supposed to be there but im out of room in the carrd :( ill figure it out.. anyways i think this is such a good restarting point.. the only problem is its kind of a lie but i didnt know how to explain it short and sweet. Scotch is the only one who knows atlas’s identity at first, then seraph. Eloise doesnt know i think because she would probably want to call the cops. Or at the very least this news would split the group up (atlas n scotch dont want that for different reasons*) and she would never speak to atlas again cause of the whole murder thing. She would also convince seraph to get out of there asap, and atlas knows they would listen no matter how much they like him**. So, eloise knowing is not an option .. she’s very sweet but yea definitely would not be ok with any of this ..

Ulysses doesnt know cause he doesn’t WANT to know. He knows something sketchy is going on between atlas n scotch but, knowing scotch pretty well, he doesnt wanna get involved. Scotch secrets are very annoying to keep. He doesnt want to bother. Also hes kinda freaked out about it. Idk, maybe it will stay this way but i still have to work on ulysses so that may change…

Now ive got to find a way to work tex in. I dont think ive EVER mentioned tex on here before even though ive had them for yearssss, but they serve as like a mentor to atlas. Maybe 50 year old butch. I thought about making them a werewolf too but thats just dumb.. they probably knew a werewolf at one point though. Maybe had to kill one but they probably wouldnt let atlas know that. tex is kind of cruel towards seraph, which is unfortunate because theyre the only one experienced with werewolves. Would lead to a fun interaction in a tense situation though ^__^

* - atlas doesn’t want the band to split up firstly cause he knows it’ll suck for scotch, but also cause again.. touring is such good cover. Hes just hesitant to become big cause he doesnt know if it’ll make killing easier or harder. SCOTCH doesnt want to split up cause he loves eloise + same atlas reason + but also cause he NEEDS to get big for all the non-atlas reasons. Coming from a huge family, he didnt get much attention. Basically wants to show his family that he’s worthwhile (and wealthy.. if the band takes him that way) . I know a lot of info but LOL it has to be said..

** - on their own, seraph does come to know in their own time.. but again if eloise was the one to talk about it with them their reaction would be different. Their first thought is to get out of there, but again theyre trapped on tour. But in addition to that i think atlas makes them feel so special, and KNOWING this secret makes them feel even more special (and its kinda romantic LMAO), so even though they know they should run, they dont. Which is exactly atlas’s intention with the way he treats them. I think part of them knows the reason for keeping eloise in the dark, but by the time they realize all this and connect the murders with atlas, theyre in too deep with him lol. Sucks for them !

[accidentalrabbit]

HIS - I DIDN’T THINK I WOULD FALL IN LOVE

(series)

Japan 2019

RANK: B

A-pairing: Shun x Nagisa

Other character(s) i enjoyed: Chika, Ako, Chika's parents

Overall review:

This series has some narrative misses for me, but it gets a lot of small things right, and it's aesthetically understated in a pretty way.

If there's one thing i immediately noticed about this series, it's that it is very laid back—which makes sense, given the prominence of surfing. But all the younger characters are addressed, for the most part, by first name, and it's treated as mostly normal for the core four to be informal with each other. Chika's parents are also preternaturally chill with the revolving door of random teenagers entering their home to have dinner and spend the night. It's a pretty cool vibe.

I love Shun. He's a good egg. I like his instant, easygoing friendship with Chika (after she attacks him thinking he stole Nagisa's board). I think it's nice to have a fish-out-of-water protagonist that all the other characters suddenly and implicitly trust. He's also very kind to Ako and makes a surprisingly mature and astute observation about her desire to be more engaged with the world. And his quiet, slow-build, intricate-rituals relationship with Nagisa is ever so slightly sweet. Nagisa, for his part, is kind of an asshole, most of which i'm willing to attribute to him being a teenage boy. He scarcely acknowledges Chika exists for years, which, even if he doesn't reciprocate her crush, is weirdly standoffish behavior for someone who eats with her family. Still, there are some little things to like about him. He tries to admit his feelings for Shun by reciting the story of a monk who committed suicide to follow his lover into the afterlife, which i assume is always a winning line. There are a couple shots of him trying to memorize or recall the smell of Shun's hair that are a masterclass in scent-based homoeroticism. And, after briefly ruining a few lives with chaos demon behavior, he does eventually chase after Shun so they can have their happily ever after or whatever.

It shouldn't be refreshing for girls to have personalities, but it is. Chika is particularly fleshed out, and she seems like she'd be a lifelong friend if she and Shun weren't narratively pitted in direct competition for the love of the boy who has virtually ignored her for years. As it stands regardless, they get along well, and it's nice to see kids just being silly and making friends. Chika gets to be kind and thoughful, but also emotionally vibrant, prone to fantasy and resentment and teenage embarrassment. I think her actor gives the best performance of the main four. Ako is definitely the most marginalized of the group, but we get to see how she sees herself, and she's still fleshed out enough that her character's emotional arc is easy to follow. I think she's a good egg, too.

Chika's parents are suspiciously warm and inviting people, what withe the free 24/7 bed and breakfast for teens they seem to run. I appreciate how the elder Kumakiris get to have fun and be in love with each other, i like that they respect their daughter's boundaries while still trying to look out for her. I like that they promote the importance of condoms! Normalize condoms! And Ms. Kumakiri's advice on coping with heartbreak is delicious. The scene where Chika takes her words to heart and tries to bury a beef bone in a public park is probably the funniest in the series.

I like that the setting of the series varies often, from apartments to stores to beaches to rooftops. The monotonous lingering middle-distance vibe of the camera is definitely balanced out a bit by frequent changes in location. And while we're talking about the camera, it does a lot of work implying Nagisa and Shun's chemistry, more than the two of them ever really get to express.

Finally, the actors who are supposed to be high school aged do be looking pretty young. Ben Platt test passed.

I had a good time, but:

I'm very over girls who have done nothing wrong getting emotionally undone by boys who are bad at communication. Please give me a break, i am begging you. Nagisa's particular flavor of chaos demon antics isn't entertaining enough to justify this. He's kind of just an asshole to Chika.

And speaking of Nagisa…is no one else peeping how his first girlfriend in the series (a) is dating a teenager at least two years younger than her and then (b) is upset that he's acting immature? No one? Ma'am. He's seventeen and you are a university student. Punch up.

Chika's creepy, leering coworker? No thank you. I hate it.

This series is short, but it somehow still drags for the last three episodes. I'm gonna need the science girls to explain that one.

Unfortunately, you have been chopped: His (2020, sequel).

A movie that has two timeskips in 5 minutes spanning altogether ten to fifteen years, replacing both lead actors with actors who look nothing like them and putting them in an entirely new setting and storyline without any of the side characters from the original series. I just want to put this out there: If you have an entirely new story to tell…just tell a new story. You don't need to recycle names from a prequel if nothing else about them is going to follow. It looks pretty, and i've heard people have enjoyed it, but i do not need it.

Character(s) entitled to financial compensation: Chika and Ako, for being narratively useful and sympathetic but ultimately expendable girls in a BL series. Surely, at some point, writers will get tired of doing this. Eventually. Maybe.

Conclusion: Of all the series i've enjoyed overall, this one is maybe the one with the slightest imbalance between things i liked and things i didn't. It just edges out indifference by being short enough to binge quickly and throwing me a bone in its better moments. It's not groundbreaking, but it's fine!

Next in the queue: Love With Benefits (2021), a show largely empty of substance but absolutely full of choices!

[mountain-man-cumeth]

What did you mean by devs being American causing an issue with worldbuilding? Your essay was good reading, I'm just a little confused. Can't an American write fantasy inspired by roman history?

ofc they can, i didnt wanna go off on a tangent as the post was long enough but i can elaborate here:

vesuvia is not rome. i mean when you look at bgs, the visage seemed to be lifted from greek/persian architecture 600 BC-400 AD. blending of these two characteristics is actually very fascinating and accurate to how civilizations evolve. the time period they were going for cant really be pin pointed as easily tho, since some inspiration seem to be taken from 1400 AD baroque (palace gardens, sign posts, etc) and i dont think its an issue either, there are 2000 y/o structures that people still inhabit to this day with modern modifications and i think its fine on its own. the problem arises not from the aesthetics but with the application, imo:

- gladiatorial fights or combat as the entertainment of masses ended at around 200 AD (could be earlier, but it was after christianity made it roots at roman empire)

- some things like the stove and teapot became a thing at 15th century and it even then stoves werent a common household item for another hundred of years or so i believe.

now this matters a Whole Lot. there is a society in the mindset that is A THOUSAND YEARS behind its technology at the very least. dont get me wrong, violence as entertainment persists to this day but here we have a very specific sort of entertainment that is most primitive, using very primitive tools. its like depicting early 2000's having public hangings as a pass-time.

a non-american likely wouldnt have made this mistake solely due to exposition. because we have a general idea of what falls where, as we have museums and monuments full of our history. we keep seeing remnant in our everyday life

on top of that, vesuvia being depicted as this busy city bustling with different cultures still FEELS like its forcing the reader to assume that POC are minority. as we don't get to meet any "vesuvian" that is not white-coded. and the main cast that is foreigner never speak in any dialect or use different mannerisms, they feel assimilated in a dystopian kind of way even, which is and has never been the case for any metropole. they look diverse but they dont act diverse. theres no colour as to their customs aside from decor. muriel having tapestries, nadia's sister dancing in a certain way etc. is new to MC but its left there. and this separation of cultures as all or nothing is a strictly american issue, north american even. i cant even understand eastern turks and this indian, arab, kazakh, slav and scandinavian understand eachother perfectly at all times. when i log in to raid w my mates we argue for 5 hours over the proper way to drink tea. i havent been able to comprehend any word our serbian gm said in 5 years.

this is just an observation and i may be wrong since i only interact w american culture thru media/internet but i get the feeling that left leaning american society in general is too reluctant to get their hands dirty. by this i mean meddling with foreign cultures. the white people are not allowed in certain communities (often for rightful reasons) and the immediate assumption is that its same everywhere. its not though. in most places people are happy to share their cultures, customs, make fun of eachother for their traditions... its more like an awkward family reunion. some have vendettas and some are just vibing. when its not at the verge of extinction, you dont have to protect these values with your life, they can be played with. when my partner calls it "greek coffee" i get riled up but its not offensive, its all abit of fun. Bcs neither him nor czech ppl are personally responsible for the erasure of my culture or anything. my culture still persists.

in truth, to be true to a culture will sometimes have to make others feel uncomfortable. some parts of foreign customs are odd, it makes sense to the people exercising them as its a normal part of their life but for an outsider it can be grotesque or absurd. it can range from taking your shoes off on your way in to chopping of lambs' heads in the streets. but no, vesuvia doesnt feel remotely as chaotic, it doesnt feel like it has its own deep rooted identity in the world of arcana. cast looks like those diversity pamphlets of universities. they don't have any variety, they dont smell odd(yes, its a thing. the smell of peoples sweat differs by diet), they dont cook/eat weird shit, listen annoying music, they are just... american with a very british kinda aristocratic twist on satrinavas.

feel free to correct me, i am not too familiar with every which culture or anything, these ramblings are more of an observation than legit reconstruction

[bloodycassian]

Azriel x Reader - Trying. 

TW- DEPRESSION//sadness - Thank you anon for this request. I have struggled with Dysthymia for almost my whole life. It felt good to write this little piece of representation. 

Nothing but a ghost. Like the two wraiths that waited to serve you at your command. The wraiths that had nothing to do. Granted, they had tried pushing food on you, or books or paints or whatever other form of entertainment or sustenance but you ignored them. Knowing that if you had put up the fight to say anything you may lose your control completely and break down. You could let the time pass, numbly without a care. It was better than having to deal with the reality of not being alive at all.

  Rhysand had set you up in a beautiful room in the house of wind after the village attack. You could see the entire city below and the ocean beyond. It did nothing for you. If he was hoping for some kind of gratitude he didn't show it. He simply explained the house would provide if needed and that he would check in weekly. You were surprised he wasnt asking for more - that he wasnt going to try to get any information from you about Hybern's forces on the continent. After months of war you had become numb to the idea of peace. It never seemed like an option anymore. Perhaps the two generals he had brought with him to save your village had gotten all the information they needed.

  Weeks of sleeping later and you felt your eyes getting heavy again while looking out to the Sidra. The bright city below seemed buzzing with excitement about the upcoming summer solstice. You couldn't wait until you could go to bed. The tower of books on the table beside you casted a shadow over your feet, then your legs, up to your arms. Until finally, it was dark on the balcony, the stars above twinkling like the white caps on the ocean. Dread twisted in your gut, and you slowly got up, letting your body adjust to the change. Dark spots edged in around your vision.

  You could feel the chasm open inside you. The pit of loneliness - the empty void of demons waiting to take you as soon as you dropped your guard. The head rush from getting up made you want to vomit. The acid in your stomach churned, burning up to your throat. Fasting for so long would make Rhysand force your hand to eat, you knew. But you couldn't bring yourself to even try. You felt weighted, like there was a tired blanket over your being and you couldn't get it off no matter how hard you tried. The demons pulled at you.

The pain was good though, a solid reminder of why you would not eat. Why you could not eat. You did not deserve such a pleasure. You doubted you could stomach anything more than crackers anyway after weeks of fasting. Rhysand was not subtle with his advances of trying to get you to try food when he visited. The smell of some of the treats he brought made you gag at times. Your stomach howled at you now though.

  The knock on the door didnt surprise you. It was time for the high lord's weekly visit where you would tell him everything was fine and you didnt need anything. And he would try to get through your shields, and there would be a flash of disappointment on his face at the obsidian stone you would slam down on him. Then he would leave. And you could let the sting of that disappointment burn you alive until you were on the bed sobbing.

  "Enter, your highness." You smiled to yourself slightly, knowing the title would bother him. The voice that came once the door opened made you whip around. Not Rhys. "Actually..." The spymaster. The general that had guarded your village while the other barreled through the enemy lines. "Rhys was busy. He sent me instead." He stood in the doorway, tentatively.

  "Oh.." You felt your cheeks go red at the embarrassment of him seeing you like this. From the defender of your village to..what? A tired being that craved nothing more than to simply not exist anymore? "What is he doing?" You asked out of courtesy only. You were used to the high lord seeing your mess of a room, but Azriel was.. different for some reason. You walked over to the bed and kicked the sheets under the frame. Attempting to tidy up even slightly. The rest of the room was a mess of clothes and empty containers, drink cups. Nerves made your heart race.

"Nightmares?" He asked, stepping inside and closing the oak door behind him. He leaned on it, arms crossed over his chest. His simple tunic seemed to eat the light in the room, not reflecting a thing.

  Your face burned. You felt your eyes sting. Clearing your throat you nodded, folding your arms over your middle. Your ribs seemed to jut out more now that he was watching you. You watched him, as his shadows snaked around his shoulders and curled around his ear. They searched the room. You sighed, going to the closet beside him -ignoring the mirror mounted there- and pulling out a folding chair. You placed it next to your own, facing out to the starry sky. You sat in the familiar padded chair, leaning on the arm rest. The half cup of cold tea next to the book tower rattled slightly on its plate as he approached. A bubble of tranquil quiet seemed to encapsulate the area. A feeling you recognized as relief flowed through your bones. You felt the tension in your body fade slightly. You breathed a bit easier, like he was taking a weight off your chest.

He sat next to you for a long while before he spoke. "I used to hate night time." His voice was level. You tore your eyes away from the most interesting spot on the floor where you were thinking of nothing to look at him.

  He kept his eyes out to the balcony, a cool wind gusting through. His wings were folded in tight behind him, the shadows coiling over everything in the room. The trees below sighed at the caress of the breeze. The night seemed to finally speak as he spoke. He brought his hands together in front of him, rubbing over the scarred texture there. "I would hear absolutely everything in that basement. I could tell when night fell, even without windows. I could hear the beasts hunting outside, or my bastard father getting drunk and-" His hands clenched, and you thought you heard his teeth grind together. "He was a cruel male. To everyone, even my half brothers."

  A shudder rippled through you. You wondered what he had done to Azriel, if his father was cruel to his more beloved children. They had forced him into that basement, even when they knew first hand how Illyrians craved the sky. He knew of total darkness and silence - of pain that seemed to stretch on without end. He knew loneliness, he was locked up with it for the first part of his life. His shadows circled around your ankles like a cat, like they recognized you. Your voice was little more than a whisper as you spoke. "I dont even know whats wrong with me." You were relieved your tears didnt spill over. They pricked your eyes but you blinked them away.

He was quiet, taking in the information. "I didnt either until I found out what a shadow singer is." He paused, glancing at you as you tucked your legs up under yourself. "It dosent mean anything is wrong, it just means you need help sometimes. To figure out exactly what you need." He stood from the chair and flexed his wings, the shadows collecting around him like a puddle.

  He held a hand out to you, patient even while you considered. Getting out of the chair seemed like so much work with such a tired body. Tired soul, tired spirit. Anything beyond existence seemed like a complete burden. But his hand there, waiting, unwavering. Challenging. it made you sigh and finally, stiffly get out of the chair that housed you. The chair that had sucked you in, prisoned you for months.

His smile was stunning. His dark eyes seemed to light up. He led you on to the balcony and leaned over the railing. The pines far below rustled with the breeze. You swore you could hear the Sidra as well, bubbling with the current over the rocks. "How did you get out?" You asked, your eyes locking into his. He looked at you without sorrow, no fear or judgement lurked there. Just that half smile that had stayed since you stood from that chair.

"I was.. released by my father, but I still had to battle the darkness that I had learned. It wasn't until I met Rhysand and his mother that I began to... cope." He contemplated for a moment, his wings moving slightly with the wind that came through. "I'm familiar with what you're feeling. I ask that you try. I can come back again if you'd like." He left it as an open ended question, not as a demand or promise.

  "Just try? You're not gonna make a checklist for me?" You mocked, he just shook his head. "I think I would like that." You answered. At least he wouldnt pester you as much as the high lord did. At least he could bring this feeling of relief to your bones. He nodded, and the shadows seemed to spike, receding from the room and joining him, wrapping around his body and melding him with the night. "I'll be back tomorrow, then." He said simply, raising himself on to the balcony railing with ease.

  You nodded, wringing your hands with nerves as you watched him flare his wings, preparing to fly. "Dont let the bed eat you, Rhys wouldn't be happy if I had to break more of his furniture." He said over his shoulder with a wink. You felt a fleeting smile come to your lips as he jumped, wings catching him as he glided on the wind. You made a note to yourself to ask what other furniture he had ruined.

  He disappeared quickly, the shadows and the comfy bubble of silence gone. When you closed the door to the balcony and turned back to your chair, there was a plate of crackers and fruit waiting there. Your stomach rolled at the thought. Instead, you went to the closet, putting his chair away. You made a mental note to get a different seating option for him, to accommodate the wings. Knowing he was coming back, you saved yourself the future embarrassment and began picking up your clothes, putting them into the corner bin where they disappeared. You didnt pause long enough to check to see if the clothes were reappearing clean in the closet, you just kept cleaning. Trusting the house to understand you were in fact, trying. You dared not pause, knowing if you stopped there wouldn't be a beginning again.

  You went as far as requesting a mop and bucket from the Wraiths. They were wide eyes with shock at your room, at your abruptness. But they said nothing about it, just bringing you the items you requested and then some. Naula snuck in a plate of meat and cheese, leaving it next to the crackers on the end table now that there was more room with the book pile cleaned up.

  You requested the extra chair. They promised it would be in the room by morning. You made your bed, and once you were satisfied with the shining floors you stood back to admire your work. It looked like a different space, clutter gone and the books organized again. You had given the cups the Cerridwen before they left, thanking them both.

You went to your chair, hesitant to sit. The wear marks on the arm rests and the seat were apparent. Instead, picked up the plate of fruit and crackers and took it to the bench at the end of the bed, picking at the more neutral fruit as you went. A spark of something bloomed in your chest at the thought of Azriel coming back. Of what his reaction would be at the clean look of your room. You dared to hope that he would notice at all. Something told you though that he would consider this trying. He made it sound so easy.

  The bed welcomed you, clean sheets caressing your legs as you fell into the most peaceful sleep you had in a long while.

[enhihi]

HIIIIII my account is no longer shadow banned 🎉

i hope you are well! i'd like to apologise in advance for taking your time, but i'd really appreciate it if you could spare a few minutes to read thr following through.

big little updates:

ー apology

i'm terribly sorry for not interacting with your content these last few days ever since my shadow banning. i looked at them, i swear! (or some of them, let me explain) at first it felt like taking day off from writing so its all good. i scrolled through my dash like usual and saw your posts (though like i said, i refrained from interacting). but as time went by, it felt disheartening because i didnt know how long i'm going to be shadowbanned, so i started coming to tumblr a lot lesser. now that i'm back, i'll slowly and properly react to them (especially those that are directed to me).

ー milestone event

aaaaa thank you for your continuous support despite my absence! once again and forevermore, you have my deepest gratitude. i'm working my way to complete the current requests i received and will start posting tonight. i think i'll continue accepting requests (if you feel like dropping yours) for the time being, but i wouldnt reblog the event post anymore. so if you see it, you see it (you're probably tired of me reblogging it anyway sjsjsjs).

ー moots

lovelies, i missed you. but i'm gonna drop a massive bomb so get ready; i'll be unfollowing some of you. please hear me out before you get a heart attack or scroll pass because this is important (at least to me). throughout my shadow banning period, i've been silently observing the type of content your blog entertains. so i started to be more aware of which acc contains things i'm uncomfortable with. i'm not a minor, but there are things i do not wish to see in my dash, even more so if they pop around too often. so i'm going to unfollow some of you with the basis of i have the right to choose what i want to see in my tumblr (because this is my happy place) as much as you have the right to interact with whatever you want (because tumblr might be your happy place too). i know you have byf and dni. i'm sorry to tell you that i was ignorant of them before and i've learned my lesson. just because i'll be unfollowing you, though, doesnt mean i wouldnt be supporting your work (if you're a content creator). this whole action of mine is simply to control what kind of thing to consume and nothing against our friendship.

it has been a long ride, but thank you for reading my post here until the end. i'll be popping in your noti once again from now on, so please take care of me. 💜 *bows

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do u think Alec and raphael would have good relationship on the show after the finale? You have good metas about Raphael and I wanted to ask do you think Alec punching him was justified? Or could be redeemed?

ive talked about the punching before and i think the punching... was definitely not in any way justified, it wasn't rapha's fault, it was IZZY who fucking roped him into addiction not the other way around lol. but also alec didnt know that so i kinda get why he did it cuz that's his little sister and at the end of the day if you see your little sibling in a situation where it looks like they're being hurt it's punch first ask questions later

at the same time, i cant pretend racism didnt have something to do with his immediate assumption that it was rapha's fault (both because he's a vampire and because he's latino and of course latinos are All Predatory Sexy Drug Dealers) despite the fact that rapha wasn't hurting izzy at all. but there was also a lot of context that would point in that direction cuz he knew izzy was suffering because of addiction and that she was roped into it and then he saw a vampire feeding on her so like. i wouldnt ask questions either y'know?

so like alec definitely wasn't right about it and it wasn't justified but i don't exactly fault him for it either. i fault the writing for never questioning the whole "rapha was the one who roped izzy into it" narrative or the punch, and for having MAGNUS of all people be judgemental or rapha. magnus who knew rapha back when he was addicted. magnus who helped him recover. magnus who KNEW he had been clean for decades and how hard he worked towards that. magnus who knows rapha's heart better than anyone and knows how much he cares and that he'd never ever do this... just fucking assumed it was rapha's fault. bullshit. sorry that's just complete and utter bullcrap

so i don't find the writing redeemable but i do think the punch is something they could have worked out, if alec apologized to him and said that it wasn't his fault and they actually talked about it. but that would have to happen, you know? it cant just be like, we move on now. especially because obviously a part of rapha blames himself for the yin fen thing which is INSANE. izzy was the one who triggered and used him, not the other way around. that couldnt have been more obvious, its not debatable and the only reason ppl even entertain the idea that rapha was at fault is racism

and like look izzy is not a monster or whatever she was literally desperate enough to put her life on the line for vampire venom (like when she showed up at the den) but that doesnt make it any less true that she triggered rapha's addiction on purpose several times. the circumstances make it not be Pure Evil on her part, but they dont make it any less awful for raphael. and while i still mostly like izzy and think she's "redeemable", i fully understand those who don't and even agree with their reasoning honestly, especially because sh never acknowledged her fucked up actions and the fandom treats that plotline in a completely izzy-centric way despite the fact that rapha was in a way, WAY worse position than her

and i only find her redeemable assuming that she 1- took the full fault for what happened; 2- apologized to rapha; 3- tried to make things right. not in a catholic Feeling Guilty way but as in like trying to help raphael way - like finding him a support group for example. which is what i hc happened in my version of sh where things make sense and the writing isn't racist shit

anyway anyway. yes i could see alec and rapha working it out. i can't really see a close relationship, tho. first, because at the end of the day alec is on izzy's side first and foremost even if he's willing to admit she was at fault, and while i think that obviously rapha has forgiven her and they have like, positive feelings for each other, distance between him and izzy is not only present but good for them both and especially for rapha. so i can't see them being close. beyond that, i don't see much rapha and alec have in common besides loving magnus with their whole hearts and being autistic

i guess they have similar senses of humor so i could see them having some whispered conversations where they roast the attendees at a clave event or something, but they dont last long and mostly rapha is focused on, you know, his friends, partners, family, his clan. and i also think it would take rapha a loooong time to fully trust alec with magnus, because well... alec did fuck up plenty of times lmao and rapha knows better than anyone that as good intentioned as the lightwoods may be they have a lot of potential to really fucking hurt downworlders, and he's seen it happen to magnus already. but also alec does have magnus' happiness as his first priority and more and more so as time goes by, so i think eventually hed grow to trust alec. he was obviously happy at their wedding and he knew how much that meant for him, so

so i think they'd have, like. a neutral-to-positive relationship with each other (especially as time goes by and rapha begins to trust alec more and the yin fen thing feels less raw) and might even team up and trust each other to have their backs in battle and stuff like that, but i cant really see them being super close. but like thats okay and it works, and besides, neither of them would want to have magnus choose, so they interact with each other just fine and as long as magnus is happy, theyre happy, really

[anxiousnerdwritings]

not a continuation (for once lmao) but this is just a funny story I was thinking about for venom bc I feel like I dont incorporate him enough. also I'm in my bed and I'm too tired to get up and get my computer to type in so this is gonna have many mistakes as usual lol - knull anon

~~~~

waiting all day for your "dad" to come home wasnt fun, especially considering the fact that he only had random books on crime rates and how its impacted different cities. however, eventually it became the only thing you were able to read.

not being able to watch tv, not being able to talk to anyone else started to get on your nerves. you were usually just fine without any human contact, so you dont know what the difference is, but maybe it's just that you actually had something to do.

and although they were boring, the non fiction books were more entertaining then the doorstopper on Eddie's door, so what was the harm in reading them?

each day, when venom and eddie left for their "work", you would pick out a new book to read. the ones that were shorter you usually got through in a day, but there were some where it took you a couple of days. however, since you really didn't have much to do, eventually when the days went around, there were no more books you had yet to read.

all of them, had been read through in, what, a month? how long had you been there? you didnt know. you just decided to reread the first one you picked out.

however, you eventually finished that one as well.

so you picked out the second book you had chosen. and you got through that one too.

you were starting to go crazy from the boredom. venom and eddie kept on promising that they would back sooner, and that you wouldnt have to be re-reading the books they had for a while.

but that didnt happen. sure, they had days off. but somehow that was even worse, since they coddled you and treated you like you were 5. which you werent.

one day, they picked up a new book. this one was also non fiction, and it was about how most criminals work, from gangs to serial killers, it had everything.

but eddie had to read it first. he had to read it for his job. the job that he cared oh so much about.

you weren't getting jealous, no. this guy had taken you right off the streets, had taken you from your home, while not perfect, was still your home. you havent seen your parents, you havent seen your friends, and it was starting to become insane for you to handle.

so one day, eddie had told you that something was up in the city. he didnt specify what, he just said that he might be a little later then usual. you're late every day, you wanted to say but you bit your tongue so he wouldnt stay with you.

you needed him to be gone, especially for your plan. you had managed to sneak a peak at eddies computer, only to see that only 2 months had passed since you've last seen anyone who you recognized.

there still might be people looking for you. there still might be people who are trying to find you.

you might as well make their search easier by walking down the street.

jumping from a broken window and onto a fire escape was part of the plan, you had told yourself. climbing down the fire escape and running in a random direction hoping for anyone to recognize you was part of the plan. almost running into a strange ginger haired man who seemed to be confused by your presence was part of the- no, no it wasn't.

you fell right on your ass, and tried to hide a short hiss when you braced yourself with your palms. you brought up one hand and saw that it was scraped.

you looked up to the man in question, who was just staring at you. he didnt seem angry, he didnt seem to recognize you, but it was just this face of confusion.

you were the first to break the silence, saying "I'm sorry, I wasnt looking where I was-"

"do you happen to know eddie brock?"

you stared up at him, wide eyed, as his face started to form into a more understanding face. like he was putting pieces into a puzzle.

"you know, that symbiote of his always leaves their damn scent everywhere, doesnt he?"

you said nothing as he offered his hand with a weird smile on his face.

"oh dont worry, I know what he did. he took you, didnt he? took you right of the street. I was wondering who that was, and I'm so glad I get to meet you."

hesitantly you took his hand and he pulled you up- up over his shoulder.

hanging down, and feeling the blood rush to your head, you saw his feet- no, his body start to morph into something else. something red, with black lines over it. it seemed to incase his entire body.

"I know you dont know me very well, but I'm sure I'm gonna be a good father!"

and as he jumped off the ground and started to swing wherever he was taking you, you started to wonder what wouldve happened if you had just decided to reread the books on eddies shelf.

~~~~

oOF- ok so like I like this and then I don't if that makes any sense it's like, I wish it was better but I also like how it is ya know. anyway I saw that ur not feeling well and I thought this would cheer you up 💖💖💖 while I'm still too shy to start posting stuff (especially since I'm not known for writing this stuff lol) I still like writing this stuff and you were a great inspiration for me, so I just wanted to say thank you for writing your writings and just writing what you wanna write. I really like how you write hcs and drabbles and it doesnt matter what the length of the piece is for me, if it's from you, its gonna be good. cheers love, hope to get the courage to reveal myself in the future 💖 - knull anon

You’re an absolute sweetheart and I love to read what you send in💗💗!! It really means the world whenever someone says I’ve inspired them so thank you so much for that💗💞💕💚💗💕💞!!

The whole time I was reading the part where Reader is reading all Eddie’s books all I could think about was Rapunzal’s day to day montage from Tangled. You did a really good job on these.

[princeanxious]

A random logicality fic i didnt realize I wanted to write until just now, that i can't write out into an organized fic story atm but I can ramble about its whole world and character settup! So like. Take this as a massive bullet point fic if you will, but, yknow, minus the bullet point part..

[[MORE]]

Some background info: this is an omegaverse idea BUT it primarily focuses on the worldbuilding, character dynamics, and relationship dynamics and doesnt focus or even really mention nsft stuff. At least not in this post! Another fact abt this au is that there are no betas in this au, just alphas and omegas representing as the primary biological differences. Same general biology applies, and there is this worlds own version of the LGBTQ+ community as well, ect ect.

Logan is a highclass omega that lives on a large estate and is the only omega, let alone male omega(which is uncommon in this au), in his well known family's current generation. Hes got two other older alpha siblings Thomas and Deceit(named Dorian in this fic) and theyre all p close to eachother and wellknown to the public for being anti-classist despite the rest of their highclass family's history of being generally snooty and classist and not very family-oriented. They probably run a big entertainment company named after the family line and thats where most of their wealth comes from. Their family surname is probably Sanders. Logan is like, an inch above normal height for an omega and is sort of a frail, lanky, and uber pale man who doesn't eat well and doesnt exercise often and doesnt get enough sunlight and is often bored out of his mind, frankly.(all of this is due to his parent's terrible job of raising him, both from the servants (unhappily)following their orders for his care and from their blatant disregard for his health and happiness as a male omega. His brothers and the servants do the best they can to sneak around the rules, at least for food and sneaking Logan books and candles to entertain himself late at night or in his freetime when they arent hanging out together)

Patton, on the other hand, is a mid-high class Alpha in a little less well-known(in comparison to the Sanders family at least) but still well-respected family in a slightly smaller estate, known from their history of being a long line of hardworking successful people and being a very big and far reaching family. They probably breed a few prized mostly pure-bred and cross-bred horse breeds (the ethical way of course). And perhaps they(at least at Patton's estate specifically) also have their own fruit tree plantation that is known for selling its fruit as well as making said fruit into jams to be sold locally. Theyre family also has ties in helping many local businesses as well as a few larger companies ect. ect. The main family branch name is Crofters. ;p Patton is a v tall boi, and like his father, works hard around the estate just as much as any other worker. He helps harvest fruit from the plantation when its time and gets to help turn a good portion of the fruit into their famous crofters jam, and he helps tend to the stables and horses and chores all around the estate, does lots of heavy lifting ect.ect. So. Tall buff boi who's v suntanned and v freckled and made of friendliness and sunshine smiles yknow?? Hes an only child with just a father by the time hes 21 and a ton of extended family but he makes an effort to check in and make sure the local youth and elderly are well taken care of.

So in this fic, like, these things that are sort of like coming-of-age courting parties/festivals are held? It's a big cultural thing that happens each season to allow un-courted young adults a chance to meet and socialize with other un-courted young adults at their own leisure and pace rather than being subjected to family-directed arranged courtings(which are mostly a thing of the past at this point for their culture)

So like, p much Thomas and Dorian have to step in to help Logan persuade their parents into letting them take Logan to a local coming-of-age festival bc his parents are like this close to just making Logan go through w/ an arranged courting from some other highclass alpha, bc omega males aren't as 'prized'(to the highclass) or seen as desirable as omega females so getting Logan to marry into another wealthy family solely for maintaining status and making wealthy ties is the only use they see for him. Which of course,, his alpha siblings are having none of that if they have anything to say about it.(and they do. Logan deserves as much freedom as they do if not more, especially at this point in their lives. And Dorian spends the whole walk back to their bedrooms venting about the stupidity and blatant sexism of the fact that Dorian and Thomas are freely allowed to go wherever and do whatever they please because they're Alphas, "but Logan can't and has to be escorted everywhere that he is allowed to go if he wants to go anywhere as if he doesnt have his own autonomy! Why can Thomas and I go to the festival's without any fuss or escort but Logan is almost two steps from forbidden to even chose his own attire for the day? Highclass society is bullshit!")

So, with the eventual hard-won mutual agreement that Thomas and Dorian will be Logan's direct and only escorts to the festival who will not be left alone(they wouldnt leave him alone anyway, though not out of thinking that Logan is a dependent helpless omega that needs to be attended to and directed at all times, bc they dont believe that like their parents do, its out of the fact that theyre not about to leave their two years younger baby brother who has virtually no experience in socializing, let alone making friends, alone in a loud activity-filled festival w/ a large amount of varied attendance.) They head off during the winter festival season(as Logan's 21st birthday was in late autumn) to at least introduce their own friends that they've met over the years to Logan(who many of them have heard about but never met previously due to their parents toxic outdated mindsets on how omegas needed to remain shielded from the world and obediant, so Logans only friends for the longest time were his brothers themselves and that was it.).

So, the cast fic placements sorta go like this: Dorian has his intentions set on courting this very chaotic very non-conforming omega male named Remus(bc really, both of them just wanna say fuck you to the Sanders' parents' outdated ideals of societal conformity, really. However, Dorian pursuing Remus is like 5% driven by saying suck it to society, 15% spite towards his parents, and 80% because Remus stole his heart the first time they met by being unabashedly himself and being super interested and forward towards Dorian without being patronizing or disgusted with his birth scars and blind eye. Remus without prompting settles up against Dorian's blindside at all times when in public to work as a barrier to others sneaking up on the visually impaired alpha, all unprompted. Remus really really likes Dorian, and the feeling is mutual.) And! it works out bc even tho Remus is about as wild and as independant and inobedient and non-fragile and as far from the rest of the perfect omega stereotypes as they get, he's part of a family that is even higher in status than the Sanders family. Remus and his twin Roman are both male omegas born into a wealthy and publicly generous family that honestly is probably the most well known in the entertainment industry for its long line of professional actors, singers, and popular film/stage play writer and producers. Remus and Roman are naturally charismatic, Roman being a talented singer and trained actor while Remus dabbles in script writing and producing. Their mothers are respectively an omega and alpha and have their own accomplishments. And, are infact very progressive, and they plan to hand off the company to Roman and Remus to run when the twins are ready to, marriage not required. So, like. The Sanders parents cant exactly find a reason not to let Dorian pursue Remus without being openly obvious in their conservative views about omegas. (Which The Twins' parents already know about through Remus's recountings of Dorian's venting abt Logan's childhood mistreatment) so, safe to say, everyones in on pissing off the Sanders family in ways that they can't openly be mad about.

Anyways, to tie this all back in, the festivals mentioned above are both for meeting mutually un-courted young adults/adults and also for individuals to pursue courting who they want to court without family/class bias ect. (So like, un-courted/non-courting individuals dress/wear a main article in a certain color, while courted/courting individuals wear any other colors but that color, and said color depends on what season its in, and this coloring isn't something that varries from town to town, its universal in their culture. For Spring, un-courted individuals wear Green, in fall its Orange, in Summer its Yellow, and in Winter its Blue. And thats how you differentiate) so Thomas and Dee return to attend each of the seasonal festivals to court who theyre pursuing as a special time alone from either family watching as well as it being another way of meeting up with their friendgroup to have fun.

So, through Dorian, Logan finally meets Roman and Remus, and honestly its a real struggle for them to get along at first bc Roman and Remus are loud and brash and opinionated and independent, and rather unfiltered. And. Well, Logan grew up being trained to be the opposite, so he doesnt think they're compatible friends. But thats how he’s been raised to think. They lead and smother him in their conversation for a hot minute before realizing Logans just politely listening and not even attempting to join in, looking mildly uncomfy and out of his depth. And Romans a little offended before he remembers that what Remus relayed to him about Logan's uprising. So, Remus finds a way to get under Logans skin just enough to break down the polite walls that have been trained into him. Remus states stating false facts to Logan that he knows Logan knows are false and is able to get Logan just incredulous and heated enough to debate back. And Roman joins in just in time to change the subjects just a bit, and it takes some time but they get into a grove of getting Logan used to talking without being talked to, giving his own opinion on things without fear of repercussion and just generally conversating.(and they find, very smugly, that Logan can be just as loud and passionate about facts and his own thoughts and opinions if given the right outlet and the push to do it.) And it finally gets Logan to loosen up just a bit, to relax and smile and laugh(!!), and his brothers are just as excited for him bc Logan's finally getting to break out of his shell without the oppressive control of their parents directly looming over him.

So, okay okay, I'm getting to the logicality part, shhh, perfection takes time!! So, okay, I forgot to squeeze this in earlier but Thomas is courting Remy, whos a talented and smart as fuck, independent male omega from a family from their neighboring country. Remy has a big fam, but hes the head in charge out of all his siblings, ect ect. He’s an omega and the oldest, with three younger alpha siblings and one younger omega sibling. His parents are headstrong people who’ve raised a take-no-shit omega who will not be pushed around and will gladly do his own thing, thank you. If we’re being honest, its really Remy courting Thomas, whos a big-hearted softy introverted Alpha, like they are mutually interested in one another but Remy is a massive extrovert and theres no misunderstanding whose taking charge when theyre together. Remy’s existance alone is enough to Piss off the Sanders Family parents, especially after Remus enters the picture, however.. Remy takes it to the next level by being the more incharge, natural born leader, therefor flipping the old dominant alpha and obedient omega sterotype on its head. Thomas is happy to piss them off in doing it bc letting Remy take the lead makes Remy happy and keeps Remy from getting ansy and makes him happy bc he was never going to fully fit the dominant alpha sterotype anyways. Further still, out of the three siblings that are part of the Sanders family, only Thomas keeps the Sanders surname name in the end, as Dorian plans to take Remus’s and (future)Logan plans to take Patton’s surname. Which sets them up for: Remy chosing to take the Sanders Surname therefore becoming a direct part of the Sanders family name lineage, which the parents have no say over bc its technically up to Thomas by law, who gives Remy the option to chose on his own, ect.

Okay okay, w/ that set up, lets move forward.

Its p much a one-by-one meeting basis as Logan meets Dorian and Thomas’s partners and friends. So, Roman, Remus, and Remy all p much take Logan under their collective wing as soon-to-be omega brother-in-laws do. They all realize they’ve got a lot to teach Logan, and more importantly, kinda really need to get him courting soon bc Logan really needs to get out of that toxic household. They’re planning to keep it slowish bc Logan doesn’t know quite yet how to talk to people that arent his brothers, let alone have any knowhow on consentual courting?? But yeah, they’re keeping an protective eye out alongside Dorian and Thomas while still letting approaching un-courted alphas and omegas come close enough to interact/flirt w/ Logan. About mid-day Roman’s courting partner finally arrives:

A slightly withdrawn, tall and quiet Alpha who looks fairly intimidating until Logan realizes just how anxious the lanky Alpha is and how Roman is definately leading when he needs to to keep Virgil from overthinking. They end up hitting it off very well, unsurprisingly. Virgil doesn’t really know Logan’s whole story like Remus does bc Roman didn’t know to tell him in time so it takes some catching up and trading of their home lives to get to speaking terms but, Logan is soon to be the Twin’s brother in-law soo.. that p much makes Logan his family to be anyhow, so. Safe to say Virgil plays a minor part in warding off all too-cocky alphas thinking theyre about to find an easy catch in approaching Logan. Though, realistically, its the fact that a small group of courting young-adults are guiding and staying w/ said un-courted young-adult that keeps Logan from getting approached too much. It may not have allowed him to get the full festival experience, but, its likely Logan would not have been able to handle the Full Experience, especially not on his own.

Finally, incomes Patton. Patton, wearing blue just like Logan, stands out because he approaches the group fearlessly and full of sunshine, going through and greeting each familiar face before he realizes Logan is a new part of the group and politely and warmly introduces himself. Though well known to the group through being Virgil’s longstanding childhood bestfriend and part of a very openly interactive and helpful w/ everyone around them family, this is actually Patton’s first coming-of-age festival, as he’d just turned 21 two weeks prior. And hes very excited to meet new people, he always is! He’s quick to tell Virgil that the jam they’d made earlier in the fall(it was tradition at this point that Virgil helped Patton with the jam making process every year) had been successful in sales and smiles, and hes content to ramble to Virgil about the progress of the stables’ new foals. Logan would have thought Patton had out-right forgotten about him had Patton not begun turning to ask Logan an excited question every minute or so. And he always listened to Logan’s answers completely with rapt attention before asking or saying something further.

Niether of them know they’d both had the same thought when they’d first seen the other. A very sappy, very flustered thought of ‘Oh god, he’s cute.’ The moment they’d made eye-contact.

And, well, Logan is a tad overwhelmed, for many reasons. For one, Patton, on the very surface, is very attractive. Tall and well-built, sunkissed and freckled with curly blond hair and a dashing smile that lit up his entire expression, and Logan couldn’t help mirror Patton’s infectious smile with a shy one of his own. Another was that Patton’s voice was warm, not too loud though it carried well, it was welcoming and unashamedly happy. Patton was patient and kind and friendly, yet still felt reminiscent of an excited puppy. He was unabashedly himself in the nicest of ways, and Logan’s heart kept fluttering everytime their eyes met, everytime Patton asks him a question or answers his own. Patton leads the conversation, but leaves plenty room for Logan to take his own direction if he pleases. He’s considerate and thoughtful and actually treating Logan like a person, not some dependent omega or a possible mate. And it definately doesn’t go unnoticed that Logan’s blushing and slightly flustered, but Patton doesn’t push about it, he just lets the conversation stop and go as they please as the group wanders around and take part in the festivities.

And.. well, the group does take notice that Patton and Logan have started ignoring outside signals of omegas and alphas that wanna get close and interact with either one of them, but they don’t tell them about it. Logan and Patton are pretty obviously interested in each other, and honestly no ones gonna interrupt them while they figure things out. Patton is the only one who definately doesn’t know about Logan’s situation, but he picks up on it’s cues pretty quickly and treads carefully without prodding, though Logan is upfront about himself being raised under opressive conservative ideals so hes pretty new to everything, but he leaves it at that for their first interaction.

P much they spend the rest of the festival together, Dorian and Thomas directly checking in once or twice to confirm Logan is doing okay and happy. Thomas is met with a soft “yes.. Is this what romantic attention feels like?” And Dorian gets “Yes, though i’m not sure how long i’m going to be able to keep functioning if he keeps smiling at me with his handsomeface.” Which these things are said obviously w/ Patton out of earshot And both brothers have to keep themselves from cackling bc their brother is very gay for Patton. And Patton is very openly gay for Logan right back, not that Logan really knows how to read that yet tho.

By the end of the festival, Logan just decides that he wants to pursue courting Patton, h’s very sure of it especially after bringing it up with Dorian and Thomas and getting their approval. Then Logan brings it up with Patton directly and it goes something like this:

Logan shyly but determained asks Patton if he would consider courting Logan, and Patton just smiles warmly and leans down to take Logan’s hand and kisses it. Then says “I did consider it, Lolo, and I’d be more than blessed to get to court you.” And Logan just blushes so bright he has to hide his face and Patton just laughs and hugs him.

Skipping forward, Patton gets the Sanders families hesitant approval to let him directly court Patton, which involves them sending Logan over to spend periods of time at Pattons estate, and Patton coming to stay with Logan at the Sanders estate during the other half of the time. Cue Patton learning just how bad Logan’s home situation is and would be without his brothers there to buffer some of it, and Patton stepping up to curb it back as well while being non-aggressive about it.

Cue Patton taking Logan to meet riding horses directly for the first time, as well as meet baby horses. He eases Logan into the concept of being free to do almost whatever he pleases while staying at the Crofters estate, which is pretty mild for the longest time but watching Logan smile excitedly when he got a new book, or got to walk around town with Patton, or got to say yes or no just because he finally could? It means all the world to Patton. Cue the scene of them resting under a tree near the front of the estate during the day, easily seen and watched but relaxing and napping atop of one another all the same. Logan’s head against Patton’s board chest, listening to Patton’s heartbeat while patton runs his hand through Logan’s hair. Then, Logan tenatively asking about laying out front to stargaze in the evening, and honestly the night they finally get to stargaze for the first time a few days later is when the really fully fall in love.

Cue Virgil coming to visit with Roman in tow when its that time of the year to make the famous Crofters jam, and Logan is staying over at the estate at the time. And Logan finally tries Crofters jam for the first time, as he’d been putting it off before as not being a jelly person. And he just. Finds he really really likes it, probably an inproper amount. Patton takes notice, and doesn’t hesitate to spoil Logan with it every once in a while. Logan also learns how to make Crofters jam, and it was alot of fun to do! Hes tuckered out by the end of it, but thats not surprising.

And okay. Another major fun plot point is that during times that Patton and Logan are staying at the sanders estate, Dorian and Remus, Thomas and Remy, and Roman and Virgil also often are found staying at the large estate, and its no coincidence. Now that Logan is being directly courted(and its going very well), Logan’s autonomy now falls under Patton’s command, not Logan’s parents. And, well, Patton lets him make his own decisions as long as they stick together, as Pattons not comfy leaving Logan alone unless hes with one of his brothers or their omegan mates(bc at this point, Remus and Dorian finished their yearlong courting and married and are official mates, and same goes for Thomas and Remy. ) and well. My favorite concept is that Logan now has the guidance of 3 firely independant omegas to help him learn to strive for the independant mindset that had been robbed from him in his youth. Safe to say, Logan comes out just as stubborn and independant and passionate as the other three. He just tends to be the one out of the four who is the most content with their alpha being a bit more in the lead on a daily basis.

Didn’t really think abt an ending too much but like, Logan and Patton get married and become mates and move to Patton’s estate permanantly and just being so happy and inlove with Patton. And everythings?? Good?? So yeah.

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[babysizedfics]

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

[usertoxicyaoi]

I can however argue that 2gether would not have been successful if it wasn't for the fact that Bright and Win are gorgeous + the other side actors are very invested and active. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the show and very excited to get some more content for it. Though, the production was sloppy and the show had its flaws, it felt rushed and unfinished but it pulled through thanks to the characters and the fact that they managed to get some dynamic and pretty faces.

hiii anon!!! mmmmm yes. i mean, yes brightwin are v good looking, but also lets not forget here how win was practically forced to lose 10kg in 2 months to fit tine's character description. so yes, looks did play a part. but in terms of this toxic ""aestheticism"" culture we have (for the lack of a better word), in all shows now, looks of characters Do play a part in the whole appeal and selling of a show and a character, whether we like to admit it or not. bc we associate looks of characters very heavily with the character themselves. whether thats their hair colour, tattoo use, outfits, accessories and jewelry, makeup and styling, facial hair, weight and height etc, amongst so many other things.

but i think the timing of 2gether coming out was its biggest bonus/asset, along with how it skyrocketed on social media, again, bc of the time it got released, which meant international access to it was made v v v open and easy and simple. it could be marketed v v v easily to a global audience by social media bc there was no other way to market the show humanly due to lockdown. so it gained attraction at a much larger scale. thats ultimately why 2gether got popular on a global scale, if you're talking about solely viewership, international outreach and numbers.

talking about it from a storyline pov, as a drama, the story was just ... refreshing, in that, yeah, it was nothing new. it was simple. and it was light hearted and fun and a proper rom com. i think for me personally, it also just really neatly dispelled many toxic lgbt+ tropes too. it showed lgbt+ love in a completely normal, chilled out way, just how rom coms do. and the characters have their individualistic appeal to them. other things helped, like the music and the cinematography and the colours too - it was a warm colour palette show. it didnt take itself too seriously but still managed to show depth. yeah, every show has a couple of bad episodes, which show doesn't? but pining the whole show down on to just those 2 episodes and a goddamn cursed high-5 alone, and overlooking the rest of the entire show seems unjust tbh. like i keep saying, when the show was airing live, nobody was complaining then!

so yeah, whilst the success does partially lie with having a good looking, social media active cast, you sorta have to see why social media played such a HUGE role in 2gether's success, especially in the circumstances and time period that the show was airing. its the backbone of it. but i wouldnt say having a good looking cast = instantly successful show. the show had appeal to the masses bc of the things the show had in it, which weren't perfect 100% of the time, but being critical means looking at both the good and the bad, not just the bad only, before making a judgement on something. and most people i know take 2gether's bad with the good, and say they enjoyed the show! so its no surprise that still2gether is monopolising on the back of 2gether's success. people want more of these characters bc they love them and their storylines, the actors who play them show sincerity, love and respect to their characters and (lgbt+) audiences, p'aof as an lgbt+ writer, director and producer can authentically write stories for lgbt+ characters and audiences, and so ... why would an entertainment/production company not use that to their monetary advantage as well?

bc now, gmmtv's budget has skyrocketed, they'll invest even more money into still2gether, which is why people are saying that still2gether's budget has increased bc just by the trailer alone, ppl could immediately tell there's been a budget raise. so ya know, who knows, still2gether's (production) quality could be much much better and less sloppy than 2gether's was (which imho, wasnt even that bad tbh, aside from certain plot points during ep 12 and 13). so then, i wouldnt be surprised how much more still2gether will appeal to the audience, not just bc of the good looking actors, but bc of the whole show itself increasing in quality. and so of course countries like japan and taiwan and the philippines, and broadcasters like netflix, wetv etc have signed deals with gmmtv to broadcast 2gether as well as other gmmtv shows, i'm sure in the future too, in their countries/platforms, and big magazines like vogue and gq as well as domestic thai brands are jumping on brightwin's current success.

bc i can hand on heart say, that nobody, and i mean nobody, expected 2gether to ... well, reach the popularity it has. win was practically nobody before this. bright was literally on scraps getting side role after side role. i'd say apart from like frank, drake, gunsmile, guy, toptap and gun, maybe even mike too, the rest of the cast had unseasoned/not that well known actors (inc. khaotung, jj and pluem). and then, 2gether happened. so. yeah. a lot of factors come into play.

[kate-read-that]

Everyone knows there's two groups in Scott's town: bikers and players. On one hand, bikers are a mess to be around: always looking for trouble, making noise, partying all over the city.... a mess. Th issue is, most have good grades and know enough about machines and motors and such to give classes to the mechanics from town.

On the other hand, players are nice looking, kind hearted, smart boys that never make a fuss and are always there to help the community however they can. Most are football players, runners and basketball players or all of those at the same time. They're a charm to be around, if you're lucky enough to get in their circle.

"Welcome to Pop's, please sit wherever, its early yet" says Peter to his friends, careful to keep equilibrium on his rollers.

"Thanks Mr, we'll take the same table we usually do" Steve laughs and goes sit at their usual table with the rest.

Serving the table next to them, pretty blond looks at Peter with adoration.

"Is Claire still trying to get you to ask her out, Peter" MJ asks, fully knowing the answer already. Peter whines.

"I've tried to discourage her in a million ways! I'm bi, but I'm not interested in her, I dont know why she doesnt get it!"

"Man shes hot and funny, what is there not to be interested about?" Sam asks, one broe arched in disbelief.

"If you like her, ask her out! That'll get her off me" Peter begs while writing down their orders, even thought theres no need.

They always order the same food and wait until Peter finishes his turn to go so something around the city, and tonight's no exception, until new company arrives.

The door opens to Tony S., major douchebag of the city, and his friends, the major dumbasses, Nat, Clint and Bucky B. Peter's friends instantly look awkward and pissed, and the other persons in the diner look at Tony's and his friends with dread. Who know what they might be up to. The fact that they cant be thrown off high school because his amazing grades pisses off a lot of people.

Peter swallows and calms himself. He hopes Tony wont cause problems in the diner, because that's the last thing he needs and tmhe really doesnt want to kick anyone out. Besides, he isn't sure how he would kick them out if he had to.

Despite his nervousness, he rolls to them and smiles politely: " Welcome to Pop's, please sit wherever, today is not as full"

"What about you sit on my lap, darling?" Tony claimed he was bi a long time ago; more than claimed, he was caught having sex with some guy under the major's statue. Peter counts to five so he doesnt reply to that.

"Choose whatever table you want, I'll go serve you right now" he then turns around to give the cooker his friends orders, hoping he doesnt look too startled.

Tony usually mocks them in high school, and they mock right back, but he has never said anything sexual to him. It's strange, thinking of him that way, like someone you can have sex with. Peter shakes his head and rolls back to Tony's table.

Nat and Clint are too busy signaling at each other to notice he's there, and Bucky is checking something on the other side of the diner. Peter is too shy to say something when no one is paying attention, so he waits until Tony tells his friends to shut up and order already because they're making Parker loose his time.

Peter looks at him surprised, but smiles and starts taking notes. Clint has a little bit problem to order, because his deaf and his parents couldnt teach him to talk until he got in school, but he manages. Peter likes Clint, he's nice and seems a good person, but he doesnt understand why he mixes with the rest.

Nat is adopted and she's always in trouble for this thing or the other, she's always quiet but when she talks is like she's always trying to test you, somehow. Bruce had to give her math classes for a while and he said she's actually not that bad, but she still scares Peter.

Buckys parents are cool, they let him leave alone, which sounds incredible, but hes always argues with teachers and missing class, and hes always inappropriate and rude to people.

And Tony's parents are as rich as it gets, but they like to live away from big cities so they're here until tony graduates. Peter doesn't know much about them, except that they no longer pick Tony up when he gets arrested so one of the members of their staff does it. His uncle Sam is a cop, and he says theres nothing sadder than parents that dont care about his son enough to get mad at him.

So Peter tries to be kind to them, but it's so hard when all they do is mock him and his friends. Besides, Tony always has the expression, like he's to good for everyone else! It drives Peter mad.

"I'm going to have the Burguer 6, with chips and a piece of that ass" Tony pretends to read seriously from the menu, but his friends dont laugh. Peter's tired of the jokes, but he needs the job and Tony is not going to ruin this for him.

"Sure thing, dude, maybe when hell freezes. What else?" The others do laugh this time, to Peter's confusion, and order their meals.

.....

"Dude he absolutely hates you" Bucky seems to find this hilarious, even though hes Tony's best friend and he should support him, dammit!

"Of course he had to wear shorts, not like I could keep my mind straight or something" Tony moans, watching Peter roll away like the cute doll he is.

"You're like an animal dude" Clint says, little sloppy but understandable.

"Pathetic" Adds Nat, as if Tony needed confirmation of the screw up.

"And besides, since when is your mind straight?" Bucky laughs at his own joke, like the idiot he is, Tony thinks, while checking the other side of the diner again.

"At least I dont stalk Rogers from here like some kind of pervert" Tony smiles wide at Bucky's affronted face, blushing and frowning. "Whatever".

"Dude, just tell him you're into him and ask him on a date, this suave shit is not your style" Clint signs, too tired to try and talk. Tony signs back "Suave is totally think you jerk!"

"Not when you care" Nat interrupts as direct as always, looking seriously at him. "Food here is good but if you did yourself a favor and went straight to it we wouldnt have to come here and hear you whine"

"Straight?" Bucky chimes again, entertained. Nat hits him in the back of the head "Idiot."

"I will, alright? I will"

Rught then, Peter comes back with their drinks and Tony leans back.

"I dont know what I like the most, you coming to me in those cute rolls or you going away in that killer short"

All his friends look at him exasperated, and Tony cant believe he actually said that to Peter. Hes never going to get a date with his cheesy fucking lines.

But Peter laughs. Not a big laugh, okay, but a short, cute one that he tries to hide.

"Maybe youd like me better without both, huh Tony?" He leans towards Tony a little, his hand on Tony's shoulder for a second.

Hes gone just as fast as he came, leaving the whole table shocked.

Tony knows he should close his mouth, but he cant believe Peter Parker just legit flirted back at him. What the hell? He needs a cold shower right now, and his friends need to stop looking at him.

"Did you pay him to say that or something" Tony knows Bucky is trying to be funny, but truth is he cant explain that act either, and when he looks at Nat and Clint for help, they're just staring at him like a third head just grew out.

...

Peter is hyperventilating.

"I cant believe I flirted back. What the hell is wrong with me?" His friends are looking at him like he just told them he likes to dance hula naked in december, and Peter cant blame them

"Huh, maybe the fact that you've had the hots for him for years?"MJs voice cuts the air. Peter looks at her in disbelief.

"I have not! He's arrogant and careless and despective and rude and..."

"And hot and intelligent and funny, in your opinion" MJ adds, smiling "I've seen you laugh at his jokes when you think no one is watching, and you cant deny hes hot and smary"

"Maybe you should date him"

"Dont be ridiculous, I'm leaning to girls in this period of my life. And he's into you, not me"

Peter couldnt believe MJ. He did not have the hots for Tony, and Tomy was not funny, not all the time anyway, and Tony Stark was not into Peter in any way, shape or form.

And yet he had felt so good flirting with him. Seeing his amazement when Peter had answered. For once, Tony was not in control of everything and playing his jokes, he was shocked.

And Peter did that to him.

So Peter decided, what the hell, let's try this out. If he ends up being an asshole, my friends will kick his ass for me.

"If you like him, go ahead, but he looks like too much trouble for me" Steve said, looking worried. He and Bucky had been childhood friends, but they bad separated later in life and Steve didn't like to be close to him or his friends, Tony included.

"Yeah, and if he's a jerk to you well talk to him" Sam smiled threatingly, clapping his hands.

"Nat is really nice to be around when you meet her" added a blushing Bruce, who had been crushing on the ginger since they met but was way too shy to say or do anything.

Peter kept working until he had to deliver Tony's food. He tried not to show he was nervous and he definitely didnt check his ass before going out the kitchen with the food.

"Number 6,8,12, and 3 for you guys, with chips for everyone and a piece of ass for Anthony" he looked at Tony intently, trying to guess his reaction. For a second Stark just stranded there, shocked, until he slapped Peter's ass so strongly all the diner turned around. Or maybe it was because Peter had let out the loudest moan a boy his size could produce.

Peter thought he was going to kill himself. What was that?? One thing is flirting,but that? He was so losing his job. Trying to keep as much dignity as he could, he said "That's more than a piece, and it hurt, you idiot" and he turned around and left, head high and eyes burning from shame.

....

Tony was going to kill himself.

"Dude, what the fuck? He was kidding you dumbass" Bucky, again, was laughing at him. Although this time Tony couldnt blame him, fuck it. What the hell was that?? It's not like Peter's bubble butt didnt deserve one or two good slaps, but Peter worked there!

On the other hand, how could have Tomy anticipated that Peter was going to react like that? That moan could have brought people from the death, nd it certainly brought some of Tony's parts as well.

"It seemed like he liked it" Nat said, like she was reading Tony's mind. She was trying to keep herself from laughing, while Clint signaled that he was scarred for life.

Tont got up without knowing what he was doing. People weren't looking directly anymore, but he knew they were still totally focused on his movements. He got in the staff room without problems. Apparently Claire was too shocked to say nothing about it.

As soon as he got in he saw Peter, sitting in a corner, head buried on his lap.

"Dude what the hell? Are you alright?" Tony rushed to him scared. Peter just laughed.

"You're kidding? I'm si getting fired after that. What the fuck, man? In which world is that an appropriate way of flirting?"

"So we were flirting?" Tony wanted to confirm, and he realized now he sounded like an ass.

"Oh my god you slapped my ass but you dodnt know we were flirting? Dude! You're all class arent you?" Peter frowned at him.

"Didnt seem like you cared" Tomy knew he was being a dick, but he couldnt help it when Peter was right there, all long legs and blushed and nervous and biting his goddamn lip making it even redder than usual. If possible, Peter got even more red. "I liked that a lot, but that doesnt mean you can do it in my job, you idiot"

"What about my place? When you finish here?" Tony knew he was going to be totally rejected after that but he had to try, right?

"Ah, no, I'm not letting you win after that. You're taking me on a date first, and if you behave I'll let you take me to your place and well see what happens" Peter said, knowing full well he was going to be ditched.

"Deal"

"Wait, you sirious?" Peter opened his eyes in disbelief.

"What, you're not?" Tony arched his brow.

"I am, I am. Okay, deal"

"Can I ask you something, before I leave?"

"What?"

"Would you wear those shorts to our date?"

[dolphin-enthusiast]

ahhhh!! good evening my darling~!! it's nice to be back 💘✨🌹 as always i hope you are well my dear, and thank you all for being so kind and understanding!! (as much as i hate missing days, my days don't end as brightly if i can't check in 😅) (1/9?)

"i appreciate it so much, it means a lot to me,, i'm absolutely thrilled to know that i'm able to brighten your days up, to the point of them being dull when i'm absent, amore that means the world to me! it's my main goal after all 💖 i should probably address that previous situation that quinn brought up, no? she's a saint for notifying you all about this, since the last thing i want is to appear as though i disappear suddenly 😖 (2/9)

but about 15 minutes later, she showed up in a car with one of my other friends in the back! she ushered me in as my other friend climbed out,, he punched one of them actually?? next thing i knew we were speeding off!! i'm still in shock about the whole affair since we don't even have our driver's learning permits yet,, it was something out of a movie, i swear!! (4/9)

ah, it was such a scary experience, and i sadly fell ill the next day,, it was miserable, but luckily the sickness has past and i feel good! 💫 i must say, everyone's asks helped get me through the night of the the incident and my sick day, it kept me entertained and smiling, that's for sure!! and, morgy dear, your writings?? they helped cheer me up a lot!! ❤ (5/9)

speaking of writing, i am in awe of that vegas au writing,, oh mio dio... it amazes me how talented you all are!! i loved everything about it, especially the intense part where you won the roulette game morgy! ahhh, and it seems that anon really did do their research!! (6/9)

it's actually a dream of mine to visit the Bellagio! maybe you can even come with me caro~ 😘 in all seriousness, thank you all so much for all of your creative efforts, it shocks me that people truly want to spend their time creating such amazing things related to us!! 🌺 (7/9)

and to the anon who said i remind them of the girl from ipanema,, you have no idea how happy i was to hear that!! it's one of my all time favorite songs! i actually learned it when i was little, because my dad would actually sing it to me every now and then,, it truly does bring back good memories!! 💕 today wasn't as interesting as the other two, all i did was bake some tarts and play a little bit of minecraft,, (8/9)

i put on gloves to nake sure i didn't get my scent on it, so the mother can find him easier!! the cutest part was that he nuzzled my hand before i set him down,, che bello~!! 🌻 oh mie stelle,, it is quite late for me now! i can't wait to check in tomorrow 💞 until then, goodnight love!! rest well for me! - lots and lots of love, your waifu xoxo 💌💋 ps: honestly, i like to think that you are my lucky charm morgy,, after all you do manage to make my daily life sweeter! 💗 (9/9)"

Im glad to see ur better and that u have returned darling 👁️👀 what happened really does sound like it came straight outta an action movie (still surprised at how intense and unpredictable ur life is compared to mine lol) and trust me i would have finna punched that fucker who messed w u if i were there iS thIs gUy bOtHerIng u qUeEn-

On another note i myself adored that gambling au thing and as i said it gave me major kakegurui vibes and i love it djdjs also can we talk abt that killer one liner "dont come to work tomorrow" like i hate how i'd acc say smth as cryptical as that🤡🤡🤡 anons really do b having overwhelming amounts of talent and dedication n g l

And even if ur day was kinda dull (thats the daily grind for me tbh🗿) dw bc just v i b i n g is enough sometimes yknow? I too didn't do much last day and just marathoned haykiuu again after trying to bake some cringe ass fail cookies dhxhxh i hated how i didnt really do anything productive but nowadays im trying to find balance between fandoms since jojo isnt the only thing i gave a shot at writing for👁️

ANywAYs i have some wacky luck dear i wouldnt say im a lucky charm, quite the opposite acc ehdjdj but say...what if we went to las vegas then got our gambling freak on together haha jk unless🤔🤔🤔😳😳😳😳

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!

Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights

Dislikes

1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.

Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.

They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".

But listen.....

We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.

There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.

Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters

But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?

Maybe? Just saying.

If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).

Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.

As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.

2. Hacy Kiss.

Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.

The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.

They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.

I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.

Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.

Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!

3. Helen's suicude

I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.

Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?

I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.

Likes

1. Parkerita

Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.

2.Hacy kiss

I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)

Highlights

1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .

2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy

2. Helen

3. These horror movie vibes though!!