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fablesuntold · 3 days ago

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@musingmemories

How long were they going to go around in circles and wager the same war with this tiresome blame game? It was becoming tedious to play the part of a scapegoat for everyone else’s misguided actions. Just like he wasn’t to blame for people greedily lapping up the first sniff of something good when investing in Coin they barely knew anything about, he wasn’t to blame that their recent vote to stay or leave had swayed in the O’s favour to stay. And to hear her hint otherwise was a low blow even for her. How much blame could a man be expected to shoulder in this cesspool world full of imbeciles? They were all here to play the games. All here to win money and clear whatever debt loomed over their heads like a guillotine ready to drop. So why stop playing now when they were already in the midst of things? That was his thought process, as selfish as it may have seemed to some. It made perfect sense in his head.

“You can’t keep blaming me for everything wrong in your life. It’s not fair. I wasn’t the only one who pressed O and you know it. You’re just..” Angry. Hurt. And she had every right to be. They could both argue until they were blue in the face just like they had in the past, but now wasn’t the time for it. Not while in such close quarters to other players who could easily use their jaded relationship to their advantage if the opportunity presented itself.

Instead of finishing his sentence, and choosing to ignore her goading question of why he suddenly cared now when in the past he’d acted like the baby didn’t exist, Myung-gi gently shushed her while hesitantly perching himself on the edge of her bed despite the air of animosity still hanging thickly between them. “Regardless of what you might think of me now, I still do care about you. I don’t like watching you suffer, Jun-hee. So can we please be civil for one night?” Whispered once his hand settled against the round of her stomach, he practically felt his breath catch in the back of his throat. Maybe if their circumstances had turned out differently and he they hadn’t lost all of their money, they’d be one big happy family. But then again, maybe not. Myung-gi would never be able to change his ways even if he tried; money and popularity were the only things that mattered to him. Being a parent? It changed a person’s identity completely, didn’t it?

Still.. the what if of it all played in his mind.

Without realising, his gaze had dropped to where his palm had absentmindedly began to rub slow circles on the petite bump in hopes to soothe away her pain. Was he actually helping in any way? It was hard to tell, and he highly doubted Jun-hee would indicate that he was, or thank him for his efforts at least— not that he expected her to. He didn’t deserve anything from her, especially not her gratitude.

Swallowing thickly, the next words that escaped his lips surprised even himself. “Is it a boy or a girl? Or.. do you not know the gender yet?” A thought meant to remain unspoken, blurted out in the spur of the moment. “I know sometimes people have a feeling of what it could be.” While he knew he had no right to ask, it was more curiousity to than anything.. or at least that’s what he had to keep telling himself as his mind began to wonder. What would their baby look like? Would it have Jun-hee’s innocent doe-eyes and naturally pouty lips, or would it have his cute button nose and dimples? Whatever their appearance.. he hoped they turned out to be kind and caring like their mother.

Not too self-absorbed to the point of showing nonchalance to the people around him like he was so often described.

It wasn’t like he was going to be there to watch them grow up anyhow, by choice or not if the games spared him. Him and Jun-hee? There was simply no way back for them. Scorned lovers who would never find any real common ground again with everything that happened between them. And maybe that was for the best. They were toxic together. A recipe for disaster. No baby deserved to grow up in a household like that.

@musingmemories

‘I wouldn’t have this condition if it weren’t for you.’ Wasn’t that the cold hard truth? But just like the swift decline of his subscriber’s cash, this too, he refused to take full accountability for despite her best efforts trying to get him to own up. After all, it took two to tango.

“In case you’ve forgotten, we agreed to get rid of it, and you didn’t do that. You made that choice on your own. It’s your own fault that you’re still pregnant and—“ Biting his tongue in order to cut himself off before a full on row broke out between them, Myung-gi allowed himself a moment to take a breather. Was keeping the baby her way of spiting him..? Of taking back power? It was easy to get overwhelmed in a situation like this, it wasn’t exactly ideal for either of them, and far from the reunion he pictured they’d have if they ever crossed paths again. But they were here now, weren’t they? Stuck in this nightmare together. Baby or no baby, arguing about who was to blame for the past wasn’t going to help anything. If they wanted to get through these games and bag themselves enough money to finally bring some stability back into their shitty lives, this wasn’t the right path to take.

They were a team once.. why couldn’t they set aside their differences and be that again? But quite naturally.. Jun-hee wasn’t finished saying her piece just yet— apparently triggered by his poor choice of wording.. a common theme for him, accidentally provoking with his no brain to mouth filter.

“Jun-hee.” Her name a whispered warning to lower her voice, paired with a quick glance around at the bunks either side of theirs to check for nosy eavesdroppers, widened eyes shifted back to hers to find that the usual Bambi-like stare had changed into a frosty glower as he spoke again. “I don’t know!? Surely there’s.. help out there for people like you. Maybe there’s shelters that can help? You could’ve— could’ve..” Could’ve what? She was right. How on Earth was she supposed to find the money elsewhere? Shelters weren’t a long-term solution and once she’d overstayed her temporary welcome there, what then? While they weren’t on the best of terms with each other, Myung-gi didn’t want to see her end up on the streets. Not because of him.

‘Give me my answer now so I don’t have to wait around for you when I can go home.’ Never before had a single sentence made his heart plummet as much as that one had, evident in how quickly his head turned to avert his gaze to look at anything but her— a metaphorical slap to the face, or so it felt like. Did that mean.. she didn’t want to know him once they got out of here? It sure sounded that way. But he supposed that was fair and all, and he owed her an answer regardless. Closure was the least he could give her after everything. He needed to face the music for once.

However just as he’d been about to give her the straight answer she desired, one glance back at her had Myung-gi stammering to a halt before the words could even fight their way out from where they’d been lodged in the back of his throat.

Noticing the way her expression had shifted from that of disappointment to.. discomfort? He instinctively leaned up on his elbows to get a better look at her. Surely it wasn’t time already, was it? No.. no, it couldn’t be. Or was she really that far along..? “H-Hey, all this stress isn’t good for you or the.. baby. I told you, we really shouldn’t be talking about this here.” Excuse after excuse, maybe.. but honestly, Myung-gi really was concerned for her health despite the aloofness he’d shown her in the past. “Does your stomach hurt? Is there anything I can do?” Without realising it, he’d already scooted his way over to the edge of his bed, bare feet padding against the cold flooring to work his way over to hers.

While he wasn’t going to win ‘best boyfriend of the year’ or ‘best dad’ for that matter, that didn’t mean he couldn’t still be here for her now when she needed someone. Lingering somewhat awkwardly at the side of her bed, eyes trained down on the thin cotton sheet barely concealing her abdomen, it was difficult for him not to feel somewhat anxious. “Can I..?” Reaching out until his hand was hovering just above her stomach but not quite touching, Myung-gi waited with bated breath for permission.. a first step, one might say, to meeting his child for the first time.

#musing games #muse : lee myung gi 💴#squid game rp #squid game #MY HEARTTT 😭😭😭

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hatake · 1 year ago

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#my poor therapist caught covid just before his vacation 😢#he had to cancel our appointment today obviously/understandably #and i'm kind of stressed bc i won't see him next week either #i feel like my therapy sessions are the only reason i can feel sane lately 😭#sounds like my cousin is getting a divorce #and i just know my fam is gonna complain about how poor chester the molester was taken advantage of by his evil wife :(#if how he acted when we were growing up is any indicator #wouldn't be surprised if he was abusive towards her and that's why she's leaving #just not excited about having to hear everyone pity his gross ass #and having no outside source to affirm that he's actually capable of and & has done so much wrong lol #ughhhhhh

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jello-chennie · 1 year ago

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✧ tough guy iwaizumi hajime who ends up falling for his best friend’s cute little sister

✧ genre/tw fluff ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ (nsfw at the end ⚠︎)

✧ word count 857

all three of you grow up together, with you being two years younger than tooru. oikawa is always doting on you, treating you like a doll. despite the very little age gap, no matter how old you get, he’s always referring to you as his baby sister. oikawa spoils you rotten. one look from those big brown eyes you both share, but look a lot cuter on you for some reason, and oikawa can’t help but to give you whatever you ask for.

in the beginning, iwaizumi is almost like your other, more responsible big brother when things go wrong. you’re always trying to tag along with your older brother and his friend, which is a recipe for disaster sometimes.

when you inevitably take a spill, and bump your knees, tooru is rolling on the ground, shouting out against the heavens for forsaking you. how could the higher powers let you just fall to the ground like that?? but iwaizumi is is silently wiping off the pebbles from your knee with his little hands, blowing cool air to help assuage your pain. without a word, he carries you back home.

eventually you learn to stop tagging along so much. you can only handle so much pain and embarrassment. other than those moments, iwaizumi and you never really spend that much time together. for the rest of your childhood, you’re more acquaintances than anything else.

but at some point, after oikawa desperately begs you to join the boys volleyball team as it’s manager (“its the only time we’ll be together in high school, you wouldn’t ruthlessly deny your precious and loving and dashing and charming big brother this chance, would you???”), iwaizumi begins to notice you again. but this time, you’re a lot more grown up than you were before. seems like good looks run in the family.

but he’s not the only one that notices. in the same sense that oikawa seems to have the student body under his spell, it seems you do as well, and without even trying.

you’ve had a sheltered childhood that you mostly spent in doors, so you’re shyer than most people. and your brother enables you with his doting behaviour.

iwaizumi finds himself frequently getting jealous at the basket of love letters and confectionery that you have to empty out of your locker and lug home every night. iwaizumi finds that his hands begin to ache after a while bc he clenches them so hard whenever he sees another person confessing to you. and he waits with baited breath to see their disappointed faces as they walk away—an indication that you turned them down again in the way that you always shyly do; an indication that he might still have a chance, yet.

in an effort to put the moves on you, iwaizumi is constantly performing little acts of service for you. he goes out with you to the fountains to refill the water bottles so that you have some company, and so that you won’t have to carry anything heavy—that should be his job, after all. in the most cliche move ever, when an errant ball goes flying right in your direction, iwaizumi coolly catches it with one hand before it can bounce off of your head, making sure to ask you if you’re okay after. he stays behind to help you sweep the floors after practice, striking up a conversation with you. when oikawa stays behind to practice his spikes, iwaizumi walks alone with you home, making sure to keep you away from the side of the sidewalk that’s closest to the road. iwa also makes sure to put your back against the wall of the train while standing in front of you, keeping you safe from any wandering hands.

eventually, he even starts buying your favourite milk drink from the vending machine, and brings it to you while he visits your classroom, the place where you normally eat your lunch. he sits, and eats with you (to which oikawa complains vehemently bc “why would you just sit in a different spot than we normally do without telling me?? you left me all alone!!")

iwaizumi’s actions don’t go unnoticed. you start to fall for it.

when you two eventually start to date, oikawa is whining and complaining that you two are both stealing each other away from him (there’s also relentless teasing on oikawa’s end bc “iwa-chan, isn’t funny that you fell in love with someone that looks just like me?? are you secretly gay and actually just in love with me :3 ??”)

but what’s really the kick in the back for oikawa is the moment he runs up to his precious little sister’s room to check and see what she wants for dinner. but upon opening the door, he finds both his best friend (who, of which, he didn’t even know was over their place at the moment) on top of his “adorable baby sister who can do absolutely no wrong”; the two of them are naked from the waist down, in the throes of passion.

he falls to his knees, asking god to strike him dead, right then and there.

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ariadnes-elixirs · 14 days ago

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thinking of an isekaied reader and a yandere noble boy...

(gn reader x male noble yandere)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5

tw: manipulative behavior, thats about it though

you stared at the honeysuckles climbing alongside the fence near the outskirts of your family's garden. as you continue examining them, it occurs to you that they seem to take on a vine-like shape, wrapping and constricting the fence. in front of the vines there are two smaller shrubs, also presumably honeysuckles.

as you stand there awkwardly lost in thought, oliver begins speaking. he takes one step forward as his eyes shift between the shrub and the vines, "there are three types of honeysuckle: shrubs, bushes, and vines."

he takes a careful step between the two shrubs and strides towards the vines, reaching a gentle hand out and caressing a pale pink, almost white blossom in his fingers. "while their flowers are pretty, in some places they can be invasive. they can block out sunlight, making it impossible for other plants to grow."

he's standing in front of you, so it's hard to gauge his expression. his voice is calm and serene, almost reverent as he speaks about the flowers.

"the pale pink flowers on the vines are likely common honeysuckle vines. while the pink tubular flowers on the shrub indicate that those are likely tatarian honeysuckles."

he slowly turns away from the vines as your eyes focus on his hand caressing the flower. in one swift motion he uses his left hand to pluck it off the vine, then turns towards the shrub. he's still standing in the same spot, but as he turns you can finally see his face.

his expression is cold, almost apathetic as he looks at the flowers. with how he sounded you would have expected him to at least be smiling. his dark brown eyes quickly meet yours before he looks at the shrub. he crouches down, still holding the pale pink flower in his left hand. his right hand reaches out gently to a darker pink blossom belonging to the shrub.

"chances are, some gardener got careless and either decided to plant these because they didn't feel like planting something higher maintenance... or they simply," he rips the flower off, "didn't notice that an invasive flower slipped into the garden..."

as he holds the pale pink flower in his left hand and a dark pink flower in his right, he finally shifts his body to face you and meets your eyes. his expression shifts to a much softer one as he looks at you, "i don't know what happened to you, but what i do know is that you are definitely acting different."

your blood runs cold, surprised he decided to bring this up again. you stand there for a second, about to reply before he smiles gently at you, catching you off guard.

"i know you have been having trouble with your memory, my love." he says, "it just..."

"it makes me so sad when you look at me like that... like..." you notice his eyes look sad, almost like he's tearing up as he speaks, "when you look at me like you don't know who i am, or what we were, or how much i love you."

he moves his hands to yours, gently taking your left palm and bringing it between the two of you. then he slowly holds up the two flowers in each of his hands, "obviously this isn't your fault, but..." he pauses, "i don't want to make you hate me by going too far too fast."

"so, i wanted to ask," he moves the dark pink tatarian honeysuckle towards you, "do you wish to resume our relationship, as passionate yet secret lovers," he moves the pale pink common honeysuckle flower closer to you, "or do you want to start over, from the moment where i got down on my knees and told you how much i love you for the first time?"

he looks at you gently, waiting for you to take one of the flowers in your hand, "i don't want to overwhelm you, darling, but please..."

"i just can't live without your love any longer. please, love, even if you don't remember, won't you fall in love with me again?"

a/n: (this is the part where my indecisiveness starts showing)

anyways !! would you like to "resume the relationship", start over, or say no to both (secret option he's not gonna say but i will)

#red pill or blue pill?#nah we got light pink or dark pink flower here #the matrix at home be like #ariadne's writing - 🩷#ariadne's ocs - oliver northwood #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x darling #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #male yandere #soft yandere

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yuki-world · 1 year ago

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那维莱特 | NEUVILLETTE ; TEACH

summary | you're just so sexually inexperienced, surely neuvillette, someone who has lived for millenniums, could teach you a thing or two about pleasuring someone?

tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, slight corruption, first-time blowjob, throat bulge, face-fucking, cum swallowing, praise kink, mentions of virginity, 1.9k words

a/n : you have no idea how down bad i am. pt 2 here —> learn

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

neuvillette is not amused.

he’s always open to sharing his knowledge with others; in fact, he has been teaching you a plethora of things, more than you could’ve imagined. you admired neuvillette, he knew that very well. experience was definitely something he didn’t lack.

but some things… aren’t meant to be shared, especially not whatever you were asking for.

“its not that big of a deal,” you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “you said you would teach me anything.”

“please, it's unwise to joke about things like that,” neuvillette says. he looks at you for any hints of a smile, a giggle, anything to indicate that you were joking. he sees nothingー just you with your head slightly tilted, waiting patiently for his answer. quite cute, he must admit.

look, he understands that you are a curious person; you’re always up for expanding your knowledge. but isn’t this… a little too much? asking him to teach you how to give a blowjob? it's not like he didn’t have experience with… that. but this topic wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he said you could ask him anything.

but neuvillette has a soft spot for you; he’s come to grow fond of you. what started from him finding it annoying how you pester him on the daily, to him looking forward to seeing you as an escape from his work. you’re like a breath of fresh air. he has no obligation to, but he feels like it's his job to guide and protect you.

the room fills with silence, and you attempt to draw an answer out of him again. he’ll probably give in, you think. after all, he does have a soft spot for you. “oh, but i’m not joking,” you rebutted. “why won’t you teach me?” you try again, hoping your question would be answered.

its silent yet again, the lack of response making you click your tongue. its hard to figure out how he’s feeling, because the look on his face tells you nothing. that’s when you thought you could tease him a little to get a reaction out of him, if that would even work.

“how disappointing. i suppose i’ll just have to ask someone else, maybe wriothesley? i’m sure he’ll be happy to teach me.”

the mention of another man’s name has his attention back onto you immediately. sure, he’s hesitant on teaching you about pleasuring someone. but no way is he going to let you ask someone else about this; he won’t allow it. won’t even consider it. the image of you sucking another man off has him furrowing his eyebrows.

“what do you think? or maybe i should askー”

“i think that’s enough, y/n.”

at this point, you think you might’ve actually made him angry. he’s never sounded this strict with you before, it almost sounds like he’s about to give you a whole lecture on why you shouldn’t be asking for these types of things. but he doesn’t.

it’s such a dirty act, it feels terribly wrong, but he simply couldn’t deprive you of such knowledge. if something like this piques your curiosity, then he will go along with it to satisfy you.

neuvillette clears his throat, composing himself. “i will only teach you onceー once and we won’t speak about this again. does that sound alright?”

he sees your face light up in an instant, nodding eagerly. “thank you, neuvillette! i will be forever grateful!” you exclaim, and he feels his cock twitch in his pants. fuck, he thinks. you’re going to be the death of him.

“kneel for me,” he asks of you, and you lower yourself obediently. you’re directly facing his crotch, and embarrassment creeps onto you. you shy away from the image in front of you, nervously playing with your fingers. your face is flushed red no matter how hard you try to hide it.

he notices immediately, hand reaching to stroke your hair, intending to provide some sort of comfort and reassurance. “are you nervous?” he questions, and you nod slowly.

“oh, love. don’t be nervous. i’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

your heart jumps at the pet name, eyes widening. that felt way too good to hear. you don’t ask if he called you that by mistake, partially because you were too eager to proceed, but also because you didn’t want him to correct himselfー if it was even a mistake at all. “please do, neuvillette,” you urge.

he finally releases his cock from the confines of his pants, hard and erect as it lightly slaps your cheek when he pulls it out.

you almost start drooling at his length. it was so large, so long, so thick. you haven’t even put it in your mouth and you’re already starting to think about how it would feel inside you. the pink tip leaks pearly drops of pre-cum. your hands reach up to his cock immediately, and he hisses.

“eager now, are we?” he teases, while you’re still in awe over his impressive size. he silently chuckles at how you admire his length, almost like you just found treasure. “have you ever seen a cock, y/n?”

you’ve… seen a few. not in real life though, and definitely none similar to his size. it's different, in a good way, seeing it up-close. it’s even more special because it's neuvillette. “not in real lifeー not like this, no.”

“i see,” he says, exhaling as he pulls your hand off, giving himself a couple of pumps. were you really that pure? it makes him so hard.

“are you ready? listen very carefully, yes?” he guides his cock onto your lips, tapping a few times. “take it in slowly, and ensure your teeth don’t touch,” he tells you.

he taps his cock on your lips again, and you open your mouth again without any hesitation. he guides his cock into your mouth inch by inch, and you taste his pre-cum on your tongue immediately. a tad bit salty, but you can take it.

“y/nー oh…” he sighs in pleasure as he feels your mouth wrap around his cock-head. he was in heavenー your mouth was so warm and wet, he could barely control himself from fucking into your face. he should be the one composed, he should be the one staying calm, he’s the one teaching you for fuck’s sake; yet he’s the one struggling as you start taking his cock further into your mouth.

“just like that, a little moreー mmh… thats it,” his breath hitches when he feels the tip hit the back of your throat. he was so deep in, but he wanted to just thrust it in further. you took it so well, he thinks. not even gagging like he expected you to, and no teeth just like he told you to. how obedient.

you adjusted your mouth on his cock as your drool started dripping down onto your lap. your hand reaches up to stroke what you couldn’t take in, and it elicits a gasp from him. he doesn’t instruct you to, but you start moving on your own as if you’ve done it before.

you drench his cock with your saliva as you suck him off, your hands holding his thighs for support.

“such a good girl, y/n. you take my cock so wellー don’t even need to teach you,” he praises and you hum around him as a form of thanks. you take that as motivation as you suck faster, occasionally swirling your tongue on the tip. you tongue his slit, licking up every drop of pre-cum that leaks.

he throws his head back when you take him particularly deep in your throat, and he almost couldn’t take it anymore. he stops you, pulling you off his cock. copious amounts of saliva drip out, a string of saliva connecting his cock to your mouth.

this was a sight he could only ever see in his dreams. your lips swollen, cheeks flushed red, your eyes tearyー god, he loves you, he really loves you. he thinks you look absolutely beautiful even with your face covered in your own spit. this does it for him.

“stay put, and let me fuck your face, alright? can you handle it, love?” there it was again, calling you ‘love’. you’re smitten, you’d do anything after hearing him call you that. “iー i can handle it.”

neuvillette smiles, wiping off some of the drool on your face before he slides his cock inside your mouth again. “as expected of my good girl.”

his hands hold the sides of your head for stability, slowly thrusting into your mouth to test the waters. when he’s sure you’re okay, he starts fucking into your face, making sure you feel every inch of his cock down your throat.

he can’t stopー he’s addicted. truth be told, he’s been deprived of sexual pleasure for so long, it felt like heaven. you took him so deep with no complaints, you deserve so much more for being so good to him. he can’t stop thrusting into your mouthー it feels like he was fucking a pussy.

and then thoughts of fucking you invade his mind. if you’ve never given a blowjob before, surely that would mean you’ve never had sex, which makes you a virgin. fuck, he wants to take you so bad. you’d be so tight, so warm, so sweet. would you like to know about sex too, then? would you let him take you?

he’s brought back to reality as your hand grips his thighs, signaling for him to stop. he thinks he might’ve hurt you, but you continue to your administrations. he’s so close, he feels his climax approaching, but he needs slightly more.

“give me your hand,” he requests, and you raise your hand up. he takes it gently, guiding it his balls as he squeezes them. “yeahー ah, keep doing that.”

what a fast learner you are. you massage his balls as you continuing to deep-throat him. the grip on your hair was getting tighter, louder groans coming out from him. “you’re going to make me cum, love. god, i’m so close.”

he breaks when you take him in so deep, he sees a bulge in your throat. it was his last straw. “ohー fuuuck…” he thrusts into you as he blows his load straight down your throat. you didn’t even have time to taste him or even react, widening your eyes as he throws his head back.

he pants, pulling his cock out slightly till only the tip was left in your mouth, pumping out weak spurts of cum. you swallowed it all, even going so far as to licking him clean of any remnants of cum.

neuvillette is a mess. you’re a mess. he’s so far gone, he still feels the effects of his climax. he pulls you off his cock, helping you up before tucking himself back in his pants.

“are you alright, y/n? are you hurt? my apologies, i should have asked for your permission,” he caresses your cheek, referring to how he came in your mouth. you shook your head. “it’s fineー i… liked it.”

“oh? how naughty,” he scolds, smoothing your messy hair down from how he gripped it earlier. “so, was this a helpful lesson, y/n? do you know nowー how to pleasure someone?”

you nodded. “really insightful. thank you, neuvillette. but…”

“but?”

“maybe... you can teach me what an orgasm feels like next?”

“i see. i will gladly indulge.”

ー @yuki-world

#雪| 那维莱特 neuvillette #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #neuvillette smut #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #neuvillette x reader smut

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serpenlupus · 11 months ago

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About Wyll and his horns (and what they mean)

Let's say I was writing a part of my Tav's story with Wyll directly connected to the dialogue he has during the tiefling party, and while struggling with this bit, I've realized there's quite a few misconceptions floating around. I felt compelled to add information to the table that might clear them, so here we go.

First, what exactly happens to Wyll when he disobeys Mizora in act one? Well, he doesn't get turned into a devil, he certainly doesn't get turned into a tiefling, he's not a half fiend, not a demon, none of that. Wyll stays human, but he has horns and red eyes (and other features we can't see on his model as of now).

(Everyone has their race listed, Wyll's remains "Human")

This is because when a warlock fails to uphold some part of their contract they can suffer a certain number of consequences, Wylls is “The character grows horns, a tail, or some other devilish features that can't be removed by any means short of divine intervention. As long as these marks persist the character detects as a fiend when subjected to Detect Evil and Good spells or similar magic.” ( from Baldur's Gate: Descent into Avernus, page 214)

And I’ve come across some people that think it wasn’t so bad of a punishment, that he was being racist towards the tieflings, or just not being justified in being upset after having his body forcibly changed against his will. I think they are missunderstanding just how insidious Mizora’s actions were, and here I just want to give some context to maybe bring a better understanding to the situation. Your conclusions are up to you.

Gonna start by using a not exact analogy, but I think it’s going to make the explanation easier. Stick with me for a minute.

Remember Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean? He had a branded “P” on his arm that marked him as a pirate. A murderer, robber, criminal, etc. in the eyes of the society he was a part of. What did Jack do to earn the branding? (if you don’t know this I suggest you look up the “people aren’t cargo mate” scene) He refused to transport slaves and later freed them, and Beckett had him marked as punishment.

Then, in the first movie, he saves Elizabeth, a woman he didn’t know, from drowning. Right after however, when Norrington sees he has a branded “P”, he’s like “alright, off to jail with you, and then hanging”, no other option crosses his mind. Again, Jack doesn’t know Elizabeth, isn’t indicated to think he is going to be rewarded for helping her, he just sees a drowning person, sees that no one else is going to help, and chooses to save them. That is a pretty selfless/good aligned thing to do, for no other reason that he was the one able to do it, yet the branding in his arm overrides any good action he could ever do, marking him as a criminal for execution and no further thought.

In a way, that’s what Mizora did to Wyll; she forever visibly branded him as someone that has made deals with devils, and that in the world of DnD is a VERY BAD THING. Personally I really like the mod that gives him more devilish features, but at the same time I think there was something clever about choosing to leave him looking more human. He can’t be confused with a tiefling, he doesn’t have the ears, the claws, the tail, all those features that characterize them. He looks kind of uncanny, and that would be like a red flag for anyone in that world. (Beyond the already existing hate for tieflings that I’m not gonna tackle on here because it’s a complicated thing that deserves its own post). And Wyll wants to do good, he wants to help people, to be a positive force in the world so, so badly. This dude got abducted by a nautiloid, got tadpole’d, and the first thing he did right after that was come across the Tiefling refugees and be like “Oh you need help? No worries let me teach you self defense. Oh you being attacked by goblins? Let me blast them real quick”. His way of saying fuck you to all the awful things that have happened to him is being aggressively good and kind. Mizora knows this very well, wants to see him suffer for her amusement, wants to remind him he can't escape her claws, so her choice of punishment was to forever taint his future interactions with mistrust and suspicion. Some people can go real fast from “oh thank God they saved me” to “oh no, are they gonna rob me, are they trying to trick me, are they in cahoots with the ones that attacked me first?” just because of outward appearances. Especially in DnD world. And that deserves its own conversation, but we're focusing on Wyll here.

(Mizora, when I catch you Mizora)

“Well, maybe he shouldn’t have made a deal in the first plac- - “ He was seventeen, alone, preyed upon by Mizora and put in an impossible situation. Please PAY ATTENTION to the story you’re witnesing.

Anyway.

About the tieflings. I know it’s easy to think his words can be derisive towards them, but it’s less about the horns and more about his body being changed against his will. Imagine instead that he got half his face burned, or something that disfigured him. I think his feelings at the moment were closer to that, and yeah they are pretty insensitive words to say to someone with a similar condition (horns or disfiguration), but when feelings are fresh and raw like that it’s easy to say insensitive things. Not saying it was ok for him to say them, but there was no malice in his words. I’ve also seen some people share that they think Mizora wanted to change him more to make him unrecognizable to his original self, the Wyll Ravenguard kid, and I think there is some truth to that too. She wants to make sure that Wyll remembers that he belongs to her, there's no question to that.

(MIZORA, WHEN I CATCH YOU MIZORA)

Whether the Tieflings refugees would feel unsettled by Wyll or not? Yes. In a way, they would. From reasons aside from the ones I explained above, remember that these specific tieflings come from Elturel. If you didn’t pass the History check or don’t remember, Elturel is a city that was literally ripped from the land and dragged to Avernus, First layer of hell (it left a hole on the ground and everything) because their mayor made a deal with the Archdevil Zariel some decades back in the timeline. He sold the souls of all its citizens and the city itself.

This was probably one of the worst times of their lives. Some even got captured and forced to participate in the blood War, like Dammon as a mechanic. And after Elturel got returned to the surface, the tieflings lost their homes because they reminded the other citizens of the literal Hell they’d just gone through, and they kicked them out. And remember, they met and saw Wyll as a human, and then saw him with horns. It’s not unreasonable to think that by looking at him they would be reminded of all the events that led them to the awful situation they’re in. Because of someone that was making deals with devils, just like Wyll. Even if his situation is completely different. And Wyll knows that, that’s why he tells you the tieflings are unsettled by him and chooses to stay away during the party.

It was never just about the horns.

And I know Wyll calls himself a devil but I think it’s because it��s the closest thing he looks as; devils are a whole different race with their own intricacies, although humans can be turned into devils ONCE their souls go to Avernus and they start climbing the power hierarchy there (Mizora and Raphael are cambions/ half-devils btw, which is a different thing, there are plenty of videos exploring those details more in depth).

Do I think Larian should have made some of this information clearer/easier to access? Maybe? but to be fair, it's a game focused and dedicated to a crowd that was already somewhat familiar with the source material, that blew up waay out of what they originally expected to reach. Hopefully they’ll add some clarifications like they did to other quests.

Anyway these are my two cents to the conversation, have a nice day, and don't hesitate to add your two cents if you feel like it!

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shelleysmary · 5 months ago

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okay, but in all seriousness, is elrond being too hard on galadriel? the answer is yes. but he is also much younger than her and i think a lot of us can relate to that feeling of being in our early-to-mid-20s and feeling like "right is here, and wrong is there, and why can't these older people see it." sometimes that kind of clarity is needed. this is why generational friction exists, is natural, is necessary to the movements of society. elrond standing up to galadriel and gil-galad after spending s1 mostly in service to them is refreshing because he's finding his voice, he's owning the fact that he is not content to be a herald writing and delivering speeches for others. he cares and he wants to make a difference and speaking out against the rings has been the catalyst for that. at this point in the story elrond is already so many of the things he goes on to be in the third age. he is loyal. he is perceptive. he is wise. but he also lacks experience. he has never been tempted away from the light - probably ever, certainly not by the great deceiver. so it's easy for him to look at galadriel's folly and say "you should have known better. the darkness corrupted you and you let it happen, in part because you wanted it to happen." which technically is a true statement, but the way it feels to galadriel is much different and much more complex, and it's different to us as well because we've been with her every step of the way. we were also seduced by sauron - we were also deceived. but elrond wasn't there. he knows that sauron manipulated his friend; he doesn't know how deeply that manipulation affected her and affects her still, in no small part because galadriel contains a lot of her grief in order to fulfill her roles of commander and self-appointed bulwark against sauron.

we see her in eps1 and 2 desperately trying to make elrond understand her, but elrond doesn't want to hear it. he is frustrated at not being listened to, disappointed in gil-galad and galadriel's willingness to engage with the rings (which, to him, is equivalent to engaging with sauron, for all that he had no hand in their forging), and i would posit that he is also afraid. for middle-earth. for his friends. for himself. because his clarity of vision is being challenged, the right way is becoming obscured, and the stakes have never been higher.

in time, he will learn how easy it is to fall prey to the darkness and - like miv said in an interview - it will make him kinder. the elrond we know in the third age is devoted to healing, unburdening, and the practice of an extraordinary compassion. but those qualities aren't built-in to anyone, not even the first children of iúvatar, not even elrond. they are hard-won - through mistakes made, failures to act as one should. it's natural that he would hurt people along the way - and he has! see durin in s1! what we do know about elrond in the second age is that he tries his best to do good: to act rightly, to keep his word, to seek counsel when he is unsure of the way, to serve all middle-earth and not just elven-kind, to be true to his friends, honor his family... and he isn't afraid to admit when he's been wrong.

if these first eps are any indication, elrond's arc is going to keep carving him into the elf he later becomes and his relationship with galadriel, after these growing pains, is going to come out even stronger, with the mutual trust and near-telepathic understanding we're used to seeing from them in third age media, and i for one can't wait.

#the rings of power #trop #trop spoilers #elrond #galadriel

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lets-try-some-writing · 1 year ago

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I had an ANGSTY idea

I imagine a scene where it's just a normal day at the base where the children are just hanging out and talking with their guardians (optimus and ratchet are over seeing decepticon activity)

somehow the topic of how long humans lives are comes up. The kids are oblivious to what they just revealed to the bots and seconds after this fact is shared all the bots freeze with realization and horror dawns on them.

Now whenever the bots are with the kids they act more happier and more willing to do what the kids want (and alot more protective) but under the facade is nothing but depression and sadness (the kids still oblivious)

Oh and optimus has a breakdown since he sees them as his own sparklings

Angst my old friend. I love this concept.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

It was not exactly a secret when it came to the short lives of organics compared to Cybertronians. The team were well aware that most organics tended to only live as long as a few centuries at best and possibly a millennia or two with technological adaptations. For them the lives of organics were still but a passing wind, but at least with a few centuries there was time for Cybertronians to grow close to their organic comrades. The team had each met other organics before and during the war, they knew how the organics near Cybertron worked for the most part. Thus they were not particularly concerned with the humans, although they did wonder why they grew so quickly and seemed to deteriorate with such swiftness when they had centuries left ahead of them.

The team largely did not think too much on the biological functioning of the humans and instead focused on their work. Despite that, eventually one particular Prime found himself uncertain.

Optimus found it particularly confusing how humans seemed to die so young all the time. In his free time he took joy in reading documents from Earth and learning their history. It seemed all of Earth's influential people died young. Julius Caesar, Mark Antony, Plato, Socrates, Sun Tzu, George Washington, and so many other influential figures, all dead before their second century of life. It concerned the Prime greatly, especially upon noting how involved the children, June, and Fowler were becoming in their activities. If there was some sort of genetic issue or other ailment that killed off those with influence, he needed to know immediately.

He brought his concerns to Ratchet who in turn gathered the attention of the team. This concern quickly spread and so as one unit the team researched human lives and reasons for offlinement. Before too long they came to the startling conclusion that almost every recorded human life ended when the human in question was around a century old. Some older religious and mythological records indicated that once upon a time humanity could indeed live for centuries, but that seemed to no longer be the case. Seeing this, fear for their charges wormed its way into the sparks of the team. Why were the humans dying so young? What happened to humanity to shorten their lives so drastically? Were their young charges doomed to die in the same manner?

Those questions haunted the team and in the end they decided to simply ask the children to see if there was some form of cultural misunderstanding causing them distress. The children were of course a little confused and it ended up being June who had to explain as the team huddled around, eager to understand and see if there was any way to stop the impending deaths of their wards.

Optimus: I have studied your history and it seems in the last few millennia humanity has failed to live longer than a century at most. Why is that?

June: We only live so long Optimus. We aren't big metal aliens from space like you.

Ratchet: That is true, but we have met organics before. Those that interacted with Cybertron before the war generally lived at least two centuries.

June: I-

Bulkhead: Is there some sort of illness killing you off?

Arcee: Maybe a conspiracy? I've heard of some organic civilizations killing off the older members of their population.

Bumblebee: *Is someone hurting you? We will stop them in that case!*

Optimus: Bumblebee is correct. If your race is under threat, we will gladly assist in stopping the needless death.

June: What? No. What you read are old myths, stories made up by humanity during various ages. They aren't real, we don't live much longer than a century and we never have.

Ratchet: What? But your historical records-!

June: Stories Ratchet. Just stories. Humans usually live around ninety years before we die. That is just the way of things.

Bulkhead: Then the kids-

June: Just like every human before them, they will grow old, and then when their time is up, they will die.

Not a word was uttered at the team slowly scattered, each considering what had been revealed to them. Suddenly a great deal had changed, and not a spark could change things.

Arcee had lost plenty of partners over her long life, but a human? And to old age of all things? She was terrified of that end. She would have to watch as he deteriorated and his frame failed him. How could she look at Jack and not imagine the way his skin would gain wrinkles and how his youthful energy would fade away into the bone deep weariness she observed in the elder humans she noted from a distance. A century was not long, it was hardly the Cybertronian equivalent of a year. Her boy was going to perish before she knew it, and there was not a thing she could do to stop it. Tears were useless, and yet in the quiet of her quarters she wept until she steeled herself. She would give her boy all the affection and care she could over his lifetime, and hopefully in doing so, she could ease the ache of loss that was to come.

Bulkhead was left not as grieved and more saddened above all else. It was easier for him to handle the concept of youthful deaths in organics due to his long service with the wreckers and their allies. He was not upset at Miko dying long before him. No, what saddened him was that she would never have the chance to be a wrecker on a restored Cybertron. By the time their world was restored and things put into motion, he small body would have deteriorated enough to make being a wrecker near impossible for her, at least if she wished to be active. That chance was going to be denied to her because of her fleshy frame, and that above all else had him offering as much opportunity to let her be a wrecker as possible. She would not see the height of Cybertronian military and rescue efforts, but she would have a taste of it, that was his promise.

Bumblebee for his part panicked. He knew organics didn't live long, but he had not expected Rafael's life to come to an end so soon. If Rafael lived according to human standards, he would be dead before Bumblebee's next forging day. He had grown to care deeply for the child, and so while he was no fool and well used to death and the concept of it, his spark still panged with loss. Not knowing what else to do, he threw himself into spending time with Rafael as much as he could outside of patrols and battles. If his friend was going to die so soon, Bumblebee was going to try and be there as a comfort for as long as possible. He tried not to think about the fact that his human companion would perish and silenced any discussion of it when he could. He knew Rafael and every other living being would die eventually, he saw death, he was well acquainted with it, and yet still he was not fond of inviting it by considering it too deeply.

Ratchet was neither particularly shocked or upset, but he was somewhat saddened as he looked over June and the children. He was old, very old. He had been around far longer than even Optimus. Death was not a stranger to him, and he merely found himself nodding along when June spoke the truth. There was nothing to be done and he doubted the children would care for augmentations to extend their lives when all their peers would perish long before they would in that situation. He merely sighed and came to be more gentle with the children. They were incredibly young, even by the standards of their own species. They would not live to see their star go out, and that was likely for the best. To him it was best to let them live a life not burdened by the concept of eternity.

Optimus was quiet after the revelation. He kept to himself for a time, thinking, contemplating, and considering. He knew that his organic charges were not to last, but he had not expected their lives to be so short. His spark cried within him, saddened at what was in his mind, the imminent deaths of several sparklings. He knew of cases where sparklings came from the Well too weak to last. In those situations they were tended to with love and care until at last their small frames failed them and they returned to Primus. It was not the same since the humans would be able to live up to their full potential by their species' standards long before death came for them. But to a Cybertronian? They would not last longer than a Cybertronian year, and that brought him grief. There had been no young for so long, and now those he had come to care for were going to perish so soon? He did not like to consider it and so locked the sorrow away and followed Ratchet's lead, tending to the humans with gentleness and grace.

In response to the team's conflicting emotions, the children found themselves treated with far more kindness than before. Jack was given rights to ride with Arcee far more often and no longer did she try to dismiss him as much. Bulkhead, and later Wheeljack once he understood the situation, took every care to train Miko as a true wrecker, giving her weapons and opportunity she would never have otherwise. Bumblebee went out of his way to speak with Rafael, to tell him stories, and to otherwise speak of all he had seen in order to give his human ward a vision of that which he would never experience due to his short life. Ratchet did not change his behavior much, but he was less hasty in his wrath and spoke to June, more willing to learn human medicine and customs. Optimus fell to offering gifts and wisdom to the humans under his care. He could not be there for them as he would with normal sparklings, but he could show them wonders and offer the wisdom of ages long gone by.

The children found it strange but did not object to the additional attention until it started to grow somewhat suffocating. Only then did they ask why.

Jack: Look, as much as I like being able to go for rides whenever I want, why are you being so nice?

Miko: Yeah, and why are you being so... sad about everything?

Rafael: Is something wrong?

Arcee: Its nothing like that we just-

Ratchet, glaring at the rest of the team: You humans do not live long, at least not compared to us. You lives hardly make up one of our years. They are trying to treat you gently because they are upset about it.

Bulkhead: Well that's a bit of an exaggeration-

Ratchet: No its not.

Jack: Wait, so you mean that since we are going to die eventually, you are being nice to us?

Rafael: We are only teenagers, we aren't going to die anytime soon. There's no need to be sad.

Bumblebee, close to tears: *But there is! You are going to be dead in just over a year for us! And we can't do anything to stop it!*

Miko: Oh, so you are upset because we won't live as long as you.

Optimus: That would be correct... We have not had young of our own since Cybertron fell, and that was many vorns ago. To have you children in our lives has given us hope, and to now know you will not linger with us... we are sorrowful.

Ratchet: Don't stress yourselves over it.

There was little else to say after that revelation, but the children did what they could to comfort their functionally immortal guardians. It wasn't much, but a smile and a thank you every now and then eased the sorrow the team were blanketed in. The humans would die within the blink of an eye for a race from beyond the stars. But that did not stop them from enjoying what time they had.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers prime #team prime #optimus prime #ratchet #bumblebee #arcee #bulkhead #tfp kids #miko nakadai #jack darby #rafael esquivel #june darby #angst but also not quite #I am writing this while sick as all get out so lets see if this even turns out good #here's your kinda but not quite suffering

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hunnysnoops · 10 months ago

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˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗

Chapter One: Undone

Kylie Broflovski x fem Reader

If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away.

Also available on Ao3 and Wattpad!

Premise: Despite having almost inseparable families, you and Kyle couldn't hate each other anymore than you already. The second you saw him you had your claws out and we would be ready to hold a knife to your throat, like wolves you devoured each other until a bump in the road sent you tumbling into a new dynamic. Maybe you two can find new ways to fall apart.

Warnings: Vulgar language+humour / mentions of smoking and drugs / Cartman gets called fat

MASTERLIST

Kyle was the only one who knew how truly competitive you were. He couldn't figure out how no one else saw especially during your sports matches, you always had to be forward, had to score the last point, had to win, and you craved it as compulsively as the nicotine you sucked from your fingernails when you ran out of cigarettes to burn through.

Your parents had always been close to Kyle's since high school allegedly; being constantly forced to jump back and forth between each other's houses for family dinners and game nights didn't aid in the fact that you wanted to tear each other's throats out with razor-sharp teeth. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and this absurd proximity made the both of you sick with a frothing rage.

You couldn't pinpoint exactly where this hatred started, it was likely back in middle school where it was taboo for boys and girls to hang out, and those kids acted like it breached scripture if you did. Truthfully you didn't remember being friends but there was photo evidence of you playing as children so you couldn't deny it.

He has seen every inch of your life inside and out from the seventeen years that you were cursed to spend side by side. He knew that you had some fun habits such as swallowing back a little bit of synthetic sunshine in the form of little tabs of acid and how you would take a joint for a stroll in the dead of night.

For every secret he held over your head, you dangled one of his right before his green eyes. This is the only thing that kept all hell from breaking loose.

"Good practice girls, I'll see all of you on Thursday," Coach Jackson said, with no indication of pride for the team's gruelling efforts on her tanned face, not even a dribble of sweat on her brow since all she did was stand in place and yell at you.

As soccer practice finally came to a close the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting an orange glow on the team where you all lay on the ground of the pitch next to your bags, trying to catch your breath. Nichole chugged down her water so fast that it was dribbling down her chin and droplets had soaked into her tee shirt.

You were the most composed of all of them despite being a little short of breath, you wiped the sweat from the bow of your lip and began to peel off your sweaty shin guards.

"How are you so okay?" Annie asked, red-faced, strands of her curly blonde hair sticking out and flying loose in the wind while she sipped on a Gatorade.

You shrug "I run a lot," It was the truth, you liked the feeling of burning in your lungs along with the fact that you built up good stamina and in turn were able to withstand your coach's harsh practices.

"I should start running with you," Annie says, panting heavily before she throws herself flat against the cool grass.

"I don't know if you could keep up," There's something of a smile playing on Red's face while she shoves her gross gear into her duffle bag. "I see her run by my house every night." She had a bit of trouble keeping her shag cut tied back in a ponytail, any attempt to get the layers to stay in a braid or bun was futile so she settled on a black headband to at least keep it out of her face.

Off in the distance, Bebe honked her car horn, she had shown up early to pick up her friends and due to this in the last fifteen minutes of practice you could hear classic Justin Bieber blasting faintly from her car. "Annie, we gotta go," Nichole says.

"Ugh," Annie draws out in her dazey state. Nichole paid her friend the service of grabbing her bag and trying to drag her up to her feet.

"C'mon," Nichole mutters, hooking an arm around Annie and yanking her up to her feet. Annie finds her own footing and detaches herself from Nichole, she's still in her shin guards and cleats. "Are you coming to Wendy's later?" Nichole looks at you, sweat shimmering on her ebony skin beneath the setting sun.

You think about it for a moment before ultimately shaking your head "I gotta pick my brother up."

"What about after?"

"Too crammed with homework," You were lying through your teeth, your social battery was just running a little low and things with your dad weren't going too great. You made the decision that you needed to lock yourself in the bathroom run the shower over your skin and scrub until the water washed away the stress of your week or get high with Kenny until you felt your face go numb. Just something along those lines.

"Too bad," Annie frowns, eyes half-lidded and breathes shallow.

"See you tomorrow then," Red waves at you before heading to her car, bright hair sticking out in the green landscape.

“Love ya, Red,” You look around at the rest of your team, all cooling down and conversing "Anyone need a ride home?" Everyone looks around and shakes their heads "Isla?"

"No," She says "I'm going with Kelly."

"Alright," You sling your bag over your shoulder, clutching your carabiner in hand, it has a little keychain of a Volkswagon bus on it, a cowboy hat knick-knack and of course your actual keys. "Bye guys, see you on Thursday."

Your words are met with collective 'goodbyes' from the girls. You walk off the pitch, and despite your legs feeling like jello you manage to step off of the grassy field and land on concrete, lazy steps leading you back to your car.

Tossing your bag into the backseat, you tap around on your phone to connect to the speaker, turn it up as loud as it goes and roll down your windows. You liked your music so loud that you couldn't even hear your own thoughts, just your playlist on shuffle as you absentmindedly sang along to it. You grabbed some body spray and doused the car in it to cover up the subtle linger of cigarettes from your late-night drive the previous evening.

The air was warm and carried the scent of fresh-cut grass as you drove through the familiar suburban streets. With the windows down, you felt the gentle breeze tousle your hair, a welcome relief from the day's heat. You hummed along to the music, mind drifting as you navigated the familiar route.

As you turned the corner onto the neighbour's street, the sun painted the sky in a breathtaking array of colours - hues of orange, pink, and purple blending seamlessly against the evening sky. You couldn't help but steal a moment to admire the beauty of the sunset, the vibrant colours reflecting in your eyes. It was nearing six pm when you finally pulled into the Broflovski driveway.

You step out, looking a little worse for wear. You had taken off your shin guards and cleats but left the knee-high socks on as well as a tee shirt with the Park County cows logo on it and a pair of athletic shorts. It was one of the warmer days since it was nearing summer though South Park had a way with erratic weather that couldn't make up its mind, you were sure there would be a storm tomorrow to cancel out the nice weather.

Knocking on the door, you put on a smile, expecting to see Gerald or Sheila though you were unpleasantly met with their oldest son, Kyle. Your smile drops immediately and it's easy to see that he isn't too excited to see you either. "Oh." You push passed Kyle and into his house "Weston," You call out "Time to go!"

Kyle wrinkles his nose "You smell like hand sanitizer," He says, speaking on all of the body mist you had sprayed in the car.

"And you look like orphan Annie," You turn quickly to face him before calling up the stairs "Weston, let's go!"

"Did you leave your windows down at the car wash?" His eyes rake up your body at your sweaty form, little strands of hair sticking to your neck.

"Go on Accutane, matchstick," You retort. This nickname came about when Kyle began to outgrow his friends, with a lanky body and a mop of curly red hair, the nickname struck you in a moment of genius. As of now, he was wearing his hat, he hardly ever took it off, especially out in public. You'd only seen it come off his head when he was swimming or when his mom forced it off.

Something about the Broflovski house was always comforting even if you hated one-fourth of the family, you loved the other three. The scent of whatever Sheila was cooking always lingered in the air, right now the smell was sweet and faint. You assumed she hadn't been home but caught a glimpse of a cookie rack set out on the kitchen counter.

His eyebrows furrow "My acne isn't even that bad," He was right, you just knew that it got under his skin "Crash," He says, a little less creative than your nickname for him, born from the time you did acid and woke up in his backyard, luckily before his parents noticed you but not after Kyle took pictures of you passed out on the grassy lawn as well as a few rumours that had been spread about you.

"Sure, ginger, sorry you have a hard knock life," You had run out of insults to call him after seventeen years. In middle school, you ripped on him constantly for how scrawny he was along with voice cracks and his acne, though in recent years, he had passed puberty, had a deeper voice, sorted out his pimple issue, and taken to running, basketball, lacrosse, and going to the gym to tone up. You could still rag on him for it but it has less impact when it wasn't true and god knows you wouldn't go mocking his religion, you may have hated him but you had morals. All you had left to make fun of was his hair colour.

It was similar to the way he couldn't make fun of you for being ugly, unpopular, or stupid like he used to since puberty hit you like a bus and you were almost unrecognizable from the brace-faced awkward kid you used to be. You were also a little too confident and erratic for his liking.

You were going to make your way upstairs to Ike's room where you assumed the two boys had been until you heard the familiar sound of upbeat electric rhythms and horribly overacted lines of Fury Fighters, a classic 1v1 fighting game. You move away from Kyle and turn in to the living room where you see your little brother and Ike on the couch, hyper-focused on the game ahead of them. "Did you go deaf suddenly or were you just ignoring me?"

"I was ignoring you," Weston says, bluntly. His hair is an untamed mess and the collar of his wrinkled tee is stretched out. He doesn't even look back at you but Kyle cracks a smile at his words.

"C'mon shrimp, we gotta go," You say, crossing your arms.

He lets out a groan "Can I stay like thirty more minutes?"

You shake your head "Nah, Kyle's cologne is giving me a headache."

Ike snorts a laugh and glances back at his brother, his smile falls when he looks at you; he's putting on his tough guy persona. He clears his throat and deepens his voice in the slightest "What's up?" It was clear that the little brother had a crush on you though no one brought it up, you could tell it bothered Weston.

"Hey, Ike," You give him a tight-lipped smile, watching as he turns back to the TV, fingers clicking over the controller aggressively. "You can finish this round and we're out."

"Yes!" Weston says "Thanks, love you," He says with haste, thinking that it'll butter you up.

You plop yourself on the carpeted floor in front of the couch to watch the match play out. Ike was playing as Tempest, a mage who was wise and old, a long white beard yet he somehow had an absolutely shredded pixel body. Weston was playing Sable, a pink-haired woman in a short nurse's uniform who used surgical tools as weapons, she was your go-to back when you still played Fury Fighters with your friends. You would refuse to play as a man because it breached your pre-teen code of feminism. Watching them play made you feel nostalgic.

Kyle leans his elbows on the back of the couch, hands clasped together to watch the game, the same as you. "Kick his ass, Weston," Kyle says, rooting for your brother, purely to annoy his.

"Hey!" Ike exclaims though he doesn't move his unwavering gaze from the game "Whose side are you on?"

"Smoke him, Ike!" You say, a little louder than intended to balance out the cheering section.

Sheila always kept the household neat which was a miracle with Ike and Weston always running around, recently she had taken to a love of houseplants and had at least one in every corner of the home. There were framed pictures strung up on every single wall without fail, lots of the family, Sheila's wedding day, and a collection of you and Kyle actually getting along when you were kids. There's one of the two of you playing under a sprinkler in rain boots, another of you standing and smiling brightly by a snowman you made, and a picture of Kyle covering all of your little scrapes in Spider-Man band-aids. In every photo of you after the age of seven, you were with the rest of your families on opposite ends, as far away from each other as you could get.

You look back to the TV where Ike's character, Tempest summons the dead with his staff, grey decaying hands rise from the 2D ground and drag Sable down. "Fuck!" Weston yells, panic quickly spreading across his face, his eyes shoot back and forth frantically from the controller to the TV.

Sable jumps back up and readies herself into a fighting stance, Tempest moves his staff, a green diamond on the end, horizontally and jabs Sable in the stomach over and over until she rolls back to the ground. Ike has a huge grin on his face, shaggy black hair framing his pale features, he desperately needed a haircut but for now, he was relishing in watching Sable's health bar move down.

"By the elements, I shall prevail!" Calls out Tempest, his voice actor had really put his all into making him sound deep and gruff. Ike randomly spams the buttons, sending out an erratic combo. The characters were fighting in the center of a dark alley, blue and red lights flashing every few minutes.

Sable pulls a long scalpel out of her thigh-high socks and charges towards Tempest, slashing him. When Tempest's health bar falls, Sable speaks out a voice line "Every wound has a remedy," Her sultry voice makes you cringe just the slightest, you hadn't remembered her to sound so sensual.

Tempest rises back up, jumps toward Sable and greets the character with a heavy uppercut, sending her flying through the air. You find your fingers digging into the carpet, you had hoped that Sable would win just from the fact that you used to play as her. You almost wanted to grab the remote from your brother's hand and show him how to play as her, you had memorized all of her combos and moves, and they became muscle memory to you. "You're demise is written in the stars!" The buff wizard raises his hands to the sky, gearing up to cast one final blow.

In the midst of this, Sable jumps up, pulls a bone saw out from behind her back and slices Tempest's head clean off before he can finish casting his spell. Ike drops his controller, moving his hand to grab his hair, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock while he watches his character's health bar plummet to zero. The wizard's head rolls around on the pixel ground before Sable picks it up and kisses it "Nurse's orders: Stay down," She says before drop-kicking the head out of frame. A title card covers up the scene that reads 'It's a wrap!’

"Fuck yeah!" Weston says, giving Kyle a firm high five. He looked happier than you had seen him all week, middle school was kicking his ass and you had to pull some time aside almost every night to help him with algebra. You would've scolded him for playing video games instead of studying for his social studies test if you hadn't been doing the same at his age.

"How the hell did you do that?" Ike's head whips to look at his friend who just shrugs.

You push yourself off the floor, giving your brother's hair a little tussle "Let's go, shrimp."

With a groan Weston up to slip his shoes on at the rack, "See you tomorrow, Ike," He grabs his bag where it sits by the coat stand. Kyle hurdles himself over the couch, taking Weston's place on the sofa and picking up the free controller to play "Bye Kyle!" He says, lacing up his sneakers.

Kyle looks over the couch and at him with a smile "See you later buddy."

The second you think Weston is looking away you stick up the middle finger to the red-headed boy across from you but it surely didn't go unnoticed "Why are you flipping Kyle off?" Weston asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks up at you.

You drop your hand "I'm not, I was waving at him." You lie, trying to form a cover-up. You place a hand between his shoulder blades to guide him out the door.

"You're sweaty," He comments.

"Thanks, I had no idea," You open the door and close it behind you before Kyle can say anything to your brother's remark. It's already colder than when you entered the house and you race to get to the car before you get a chill.

Weston hops into the passenger seat, scrunching up his nose at the music you're playing "Can you put on Lil Shovel?" He asks. It was one of the many rappers he had attempted to imitate. He thought they were cool for decking themselves out in designer brands and sticking dollar bills into women's thongs in music videos.

"I'm not playing that shit," You start the car and turn out of the driveway.

"Why?"

"Because it makes me want to hammer nails into my ears," You answer, eyes focused in the road while you glide through the suburban street. "Listen to Eminem or something."

"Dad doesn't like Eminem."

You wrinkle your nose "Why?"

"Because he said that thing about the gerbil."

Recognition hits you and you nod "Yeah, that checks out," Your dad was a pretty modest guy, he didn't care about anything overly vulgar. He basically mandated your life, he was the reason you were in so many extracurriculars and were the last person in your grade to get a phone, something Kyle would've teased you for if your parents weren't so similar.

"Can you drive me and Ike to the quarry on Friday?" Weston has one hand sticking out of the window moving it up and down like it was a plane, it was something you used to do before you were the one driving, a little mannerism he picked up off you.

"I have track practice and then I gotta help Heidi and Wendy with their fundraiser, sorry, shrimp," You take note of every house you pass, swearing you could put a name to every single one. You felt the fatigue hit you all at once, you knew that night your bed would become a casket and you would have to be pried from it like a floorboard. "Ask Kyle."

"We did, he has basketball practice."

"Bummer," You say. It had slipped your mind completely that he was on the team and you hated it and how your friends gushed about Kyle before catching themselves and sending you apologetic glances. "Guess you gotta bike then."

You remember when you were your brother's age, twelve years old and you came home every night at sunset with a new scrape to show for the adventure you set out on. You gave bruises out like gifts and collected them like stickers, some sort of pride when parents would silently judge you for having purple busted-up knees.

"Mhm," He nods "Hey, can we go to Burger King?"

"No," You say almost immediately "Mom's making dinner right now."

Weston scrunched up his nose "Yeah but she had the crock pot out on the counter when I left for school today," Nothing good came from your mother's crock pot. "Can we please get Burger King?"

"First of all, Mom will kill me if I load you up with more fast food, second of all, she's gonna make you eat her dinner anyways, so just be nice and tell her it's good."

"Ugh," He grumbles watching wistfully into the distance, his thoughts stuck on the combo he was craving. "I should've stayed at Ike's for dinner."

"Yeah, me too," News of the dreaded crock pot had only worsened your day. Sheila on the other hand was an incredible cook, as much as you loved your mom and the effort she put into her meals, nothing would compare to Sheila's brisket. The thought of it almost made your stomach grumble. If you lived with Broflovski's you would've weighed three hundred pounds more.

Your mind ricochets back and forth between going home or heading to Wendy's with the rest of your friends though the thought of being alone with tobacco burning your throat soothed you.

The drive from the Broflovski's to yours wasn't too long, truthfully, your brother was perfectly capable of walking. The sky transformed into a canvas of deepening shades, the last traces of sunlight giving way to the embrace of twilight. You stole glances at your brother, his animated chatter filling the car with warmth.

You park the car in the driveway behind your dad's car, he would surely yell at you to move it in the morning but that was a problem for future you and a decision you would regret making. You pull up on the street right in front of your house. Weston was quick to hop out of the car, he rushed across the lawn and waited by the front door for you to turn off the car, but you didn't, you just watched and waited for him to go inside.

"Are you coming?" Weston asked.

You stick your head out of the window "Tell Mom I'm stopping by Red's, I'll be back before dinner," Weston rolls his eyes at this, he didn't care for Red, since you started being friends with her you had even less time to spend with your brother. Nights of staying up late with Weston and playing Stardew Valley turned into you hanging out with your friend and getting high.

"Tell Rebecca to eat a dick!" Weston cups his hands around his mouth.

"I won't do that but good suggestion," You call back before stepping on the peddle and moving back down the familiar streets. It was just past six and there hadn't been anyone outside, everyone was tucked away in their respective home, warm lights from windows spilling into the darkening sky.

You didn't go to Red's, you just kept driving until you ended up at a gas station on the outskirts of town. It had long passed the dinner you promised to be home for, instead of eating the crock pot monstrosity, you opt for something with a sweeter taste, a cigarette and a bag of teriyaki beef jerky. You sat on the curb watching cars roll past, their headlights framing you like you were on stage. You just craved the aloneness you so rarely got.

You shuffle through the cafeteria line, undecided on what you want to eat but settling on one of those sugar-free drinks that are worse for you than just grabbing a regular soda for a drink. "Keep it moving, Junkie," Cartman says from beside you. God how he irked you, it was in his nature to be unbearable.

"What? Not like it's going anywhere, I'm more worried for the people in line behind you who have to eat crumbs."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He asks adding a paper plate of ribs to his tray and then another.

"It means you're fat."

He shrugs "Doesn't bother me," Cartman had grown to be a little more self-aware, by a little I mean a very small smidgen.

"You're a fat-fat fatty, keep eating fatty," your voice was unwavering. You hadn't had too much of a problem with Cartman throughout school, sure he had been a dick but you never interacted enough for him to be on your radar until he started a rumour about you shooting up heroin in the janitors closet which led to him telling everyone you were a drug dealer. This cursed you with the nicknames of crash, popper, and of course, junkie. When it first happened you weren't even aware, you just sat confused about why everyone was adding your Snapchat and asking about buying stuff from you. Eventually, staff caught wind of this and it only got worse from there.

"Fuck you, crash," He sticks up a middle finger at you "You're a dyke."

You return the gesture "At least I get pussy, lard ass."

"I have tons of sex, you faggot."

"Your hand doesn't count," You say examining the food in the chafing dishes which looked surprisingly good for school food.

"I don't care if you're a girl, I will kick your ass," He starts to get in your face but you don't bother to acknowledge it, still looking through the food options.

"I bet if I pushed you over you would just keep rolling."

"Whatever bitch."

"Hurry up, butterball," Bebe cuts in front of Eric who has a look of pure seething rage on his face. She looks beautiful as always, blonde curly hair falling in perfect ringlets and framing her dainty face. She's wearing a red off-the-shoulders sweater and low-waisted jeans, it's such a simple outfit but Bebe manages to make it look unique and expensive.

"Fuck you, Bebe," he turns a middle finger to her, "Go shoot up with your little lezzy girlfriend." That was another rumour that he successfully sparked, that you and Bebe were secretly dating. The two of you found it funnier than the heroin thing and played into it on occasion.

"You're so fucking stupid," Bebe wrinkles her nose in distaste of the chubby kid in front of her "Don't crack the floor when you waddle over to your table, fat ass," She adds a yogurt parfait onto her tray and keeps moving down the line, you follow in suit.

The two of you hand the lunch lady your cafeteria card but your eye snags on something else entirely "Where's Wendy?"

Bebe looks in the same direction as you where your entire friend group sits, minus Wendy who you could've sworn was there only moments ago. Her tray still sat in front of her spot on the table "She's talking with Stan I think."

"What?" You look at the blonde text to you while you find your table "Are they getting back together or something?"

"She was saying she wanted to work things out with him last night, you'd know if you were there."

"Why didn't she tell me?" You furrow your eyebrows as you glance at Stan's regular table where he was also absent from. The second thing you noticed was how irritated Kyle seemed, likely because his best friend would be opting to spend time with Wendy again instead of him. Cartman plops himself down next to the ginger, only making Kyle more agitated. When Kyle looks away for a split second, Kenny steals food off his plate and blames it on Eric. “I would never steal food from a dirty Jew!” He says, voice carrying over every other conversation in the room.

"She might not have told because you can be a little-" Bebe searches around for a word that'll soften the message "Abrasive?"

"I'm not abrasive," You say as you sit yourself down at the cafeteria table, immediately met by curious glances from the rest of your friends. This made you question yourself. Had you been so blunt that your best friend didn't want to tell you what was going on in her life? Yes. You didn't know how else to be, it was wired into your system; born from the way you were raised, like a wild animal who fought for scraps, if you didn't kill, you wouldn’t eat. Your family wasn’t really complete, it was more like something like a mom who worked herself to rust and a dad who popped in and out like some kind of disappearing act.

No one bothers to dig deeper into your sentence, already enraptured in their conversation. "I wonder how Tolkien feels about it," Lola asks, leaning in a little to where Nelly sits on the other side of the table, seemingly hanging onto every word.

"I know!" Nelly says, unable to fight the smile that formed on her face every time she gossiped "Did you notice how he isn't sitting where he usually is." At this, everyone turns their heads to Tolkien's regular table, where he’s MIA from.

Halfway through sucking the meat off of his ribs, Cartman notices everyone at your table staring them down. He glances around the table before deciding that you are looking at him, barbeque sauce smeared over his mouth and down his fingers. "What the fuck are you looking at?" He calls out, now drawing the attention of the cafeteria to you and your friends who quickly avert their gazes back to their food.

You meet Kyles's eyes for just a moment, you can read loud and clear that he's annoyed Wendy's back in the picture and she'll be poaching his best friend from him. Despite the act he's trying to portray of being indifferent, you can tell there's a storm brewing beneath his green eyes.

In your pocket, your phone buzzes and you look at it.

McWhoremick: what was that about?

You: Cartman looking rancid

McWhoremick: fair

McWhoremick: wanna hang later?

You: fo sho

You: junkyard?

McWhoremick: yup

McWhoremick: see ya :P

"What's that?" Red peaks down at your phone from next to you, her chin resting on your shoulder "Is it Wendy?"

"She's been weird lately," Jenny says, she doesn't look up from her mac and cheese, just pushes it around absentmindedly with her fork.

"Probably because all of you are talking about her like she's not our friend," Heidi peeps up for the first time in the conversation. You're a little surprised that she's eating lunch with you, in recent days she's been so busy with sustainability club that it's taken up all of her lunch breaks.

Heidi was right as usual. It didn't feel right to be talking about Wendy when she was twenty metres away, it didn't feel right to talk about her at all. The group fell quiet at this, trying to search for another topic that didn't involve speaking poorly of your friend.

"So," Red starts "Who's excited for the basketball game?"

You really weren't, you had no intentions of going though you were sure your parents would make you go to support Kyle. "I think I'll go to watch Kyle," Nichole comments. Your head whips to look at her immediately, it only made sense that she was over Tolkien after what happened with Wendy but you hadn't expected her to go for Kyle.

"Uh oh," Annie says, a small smile playing on her face. Lately, she had taken good care of her curls, a stark difference from the frizzy mess that was stuck on her head all through middle school.

"Nichole," You say, staring her down "Are you okay?"

"Sorry to say this," Bebe pipes up, not one hundred percent tuned into the conversation "He actually isn't the piece of shit that you make him out to be."

"You don't-

"Know him like I do?" Heidi finishes your sentence for you. Something you had repeated over and over again when trying to get your point across that he was evil and no one could see it but you.

"I'd do it," Lola shrugs and your face contorts in disgust.

"Ew," You say with haste, fighting the urge to gag on your food. "Do you guys realize that he's ginger under that hat?"

Everyone is unsurprised at your disdain for him, even though you tried not to talk about him so you didn't seem obsessed, every now and then, the start of a rant would slip out and that would turn into you rambling on and on about every little annoying detail about him. You wondered for a brief moment if he did the same when walking about you.

"What is it that you hate about him anyway?" Red asks.

You rack your brain for a truly solid reason you can't say that it irritated you how Kyle ran the opposite way of you on the trail on your nightly run, it was the most dreaded part of the day, brushing past him and pretending not to notice. You also couldn't delve into the fact that he always had a bored, unimpressed expression on his face when he talked to you. "Everything." You answer "I hate everything about him."

"Okay gang," Mr Waterman claps his hands together once everyone is finally seated. "I know we're getting close to the end of the year and it's exciting but there is always work to be done." He was in his thirties, a little on the shorter side, with brown hair, glasses, and lean for a teacher though it made sense since he doubled as the basketball coach. He had tried his best to be funny though his jokes usually fell flat but you found yourself laughing out of pity like it was second nature.

Wendy sat next to you, you hadn't pressed her about Stan (despite wanting to) and she hadn't brought it up. Kyle sits next to a guy whose name slipped through the cracks of your mind and stays completely silent while the teacher gives his spiel about hard work and effort.

"This will be our final seating change for the year, so if you're next to someone you don't like know it'll be over by the end of June," Mr Waterman sits himself at his desk dead in front of every lab table, shares his computer screen to the projector, showing the new seating arrangments "Alright, here are your lab partners until semester end."

You scan the whiteboard for your name and your breath hitches in your throat when you see it next to Kyles. Kyle whips his head to look at you, your gazes matching in utter terror. You had relished in the fact that You had gone the entire semester without talking to Kyle a single time in biology class.

There weren’t desks in the science labs but black tables built for two people since they worked out better for experiments, there you were stuck at the back of the class with the ginger demon spawn.

"Mr Waterman?" You raise your hand but speak before he even calls on you "You need to move me or I'll kill myself."

"Woah," He puts both of his hands out "Let's not joke about that-

"I'm not joking," You cut him off, tone dead serious. Wendy tugs at the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to sit back down, you just cast her a glance before looking back to the short teacher. "I will kill myself."

"Can you and Kyle please come up here so I can talk to you," At Mr. Waterman's words, Kyle shoots you a malicious glare.

"When you cause a scene about not wanting to sit next to someone it can be hurtful," Mr Waterman addresses you, his tanned hands grasped together. Bless his heart, Kyle thought he was getting in trouble and it would put a dent into his perfect record, the kid never even missed a day of school. You and Kyle stand side by side, in front of Mr Waterman's desk, careful to keep a distance between you. "Think about how Kyle feels right now-

"I feel like I wanna slit my wrists." He deadpans, face unreadable as ever.

"Do you guys need someone to talk to?" Mr Waterman furrows his eyebrows, lowering his voice.

"No," You say, crossing your arms “Not unless it's to get a gun so I can blow my brains out."

"Okay," He repositions himself to sit taller "Can you please tell me why you don't want to sit next to each other, I'm sure we could work this out." You waste no time trying to get yourself away from Kyle, listing off all of his little habits that annoy you. Kyle, on the other hand, bites his tongue. He didn't want his teacher to think poorly of him, not when there was still a little over a month left of the worst year of school he'd ever put himself through.

"Kyle?" You furrow your eyebrows, waiting expectantly for him to go off on how you were disruptive and rude but he sort of just stood there. For a brief moment, you thought he was having a stroke.

"It's fine," At his words, your mouth goes ajar and your eyes widen. You had thought that the two of you stood in solidarity for one thing, you wanted to get away from each other.

"Is it really?" You say through gritted teeth.

"Yeah," He looks at you then back to Mr Waterman "It's just a childhood rivalry, we're just being immature," It took a lot for him to swallow his pride. Kyle just knew he had to get through June and then senior year would be smooth sailing.

"Well," Mr Waterman says and you can tell he's prepping himself for a speech "It seems to me like the two of you could benefit from this seating arrangement. When you get jobs you won't get along with everyone you work with-

"We both have jobs already," You cut him off and Kyle shuffles awkwardly where he stands while the rest of the class chats idly and waits for the lesson to start.

Mr Waterman casts you a look and clears his throat before picking up where he left off "And I understand that sometimes, personalities clash, but we're a team here, and teamwork requires cooperation and understanding. You both have so much potential, but that potential can only be realized when you learn to work together, to support each other, and to lift each other up, rather than tear each other down."

Kyle's mind must've been somewhere else completely, it was like he was in airplane mode, nodding along to everything Mr Waterman was saying. Though you could feel boredom creeping up, fighting yourself to pay attention to the genuinely useless pep talk.

"I want you to take a moment and think about what it means to be part of a team," Mr Waterman urged, his voice gentle yet persuasive. "Think about the strength that comes from unity, the power that comes from collaboration, and the joy that comes from shared success. Both of you are strong students and I can see you doing very well working together on labs and assignments, okay?"

"Yup," You nod your head, giving a thumbs up so he would excuse you and this would blow over.

"Okay," Kyle says.

A smile forms on Mr Waterman's face, he leans further back into his desk chair. "I think I can sense a friendship forming here, now go take your seats."

You laugh awkwardly, quickly brushing past Kyle to sit in your new spot at the back of the class. You were stuck sitting next to Kyle and behind Eric Cartman, how did he get into AP biology? You weren't one hundred percent sure though you heard Isla say that it was a misplacement that never got corrected.

Once again, Mr Waterman calls the class to capture their attention. Writing about the new unit on the whiteboard in a red dry-erase pen that was squeaky and running out of ink. You ruffle through your backpack, trying to find your binder while everyone else is rapidly taking notes. You pull out a stack of textbooks and some personal reading for English, finally finding your science binder.

"Why are you reading Mein Kampf?" He looks at the book that rests on top of the stack, it's old and beaten up and smells a bit like stale orange juice, the cover holds the jarring image of Adolf Hitler.

"Because I'm racist," You say, sarcastically but Kyle doesn't pick up on this and seems a little taken aback "Joking, obviously, it's for history."

He averts his eyes back to the whiteboard. Mr. Waterman speaks briefly on physiology, before wiping the board clean and unfreezing the projector where he set up a slide show. As most science teachers do, he clicks through the slide show and waits for his students to take notes, answering the few questions that the kids have.

"Shit," You mutter as the teacher skips to the next slide before you could finish copying what was on it. You glance at Kyle "Uh, did you write all of that down?”

Wordlessly, he pushes his paper towards you to copy it, he keeps his eyes trained on the board. His writing was neat, it looked like it could've been a font, each word spaced out almost precisely from the next. Cartman snakes his head around and then moves his entire body when he sees the two of relatively civil.

"Jews got a boner for the junkie," Cartman says, a little louder than intended. Next to him, David looks beyond annoyed, he’s gripping his pencil so tightly that you wouldn’t be surprised if he broke it.

"Shut up, fatass," You and Kyle manage to say in sync before you look at each other in disgust that your thoughts matched up.

"I fucking hate high school." You say under your breath, turning to look back at your notes and pushing his back toward him.

"Me too," Kyle says and you're actually on the same page for a change, you're not sure if you like it.

A/N: I hate this but here it is anyway 😔 I promise it gets more interesting. Open to head cannons and requests rn. Thanks for reading!

169 notes · View notes

oph3liatlou · 1 year ago

Note

Heyy,

I‘d love to request a Haymitch x reader fic! Just something wholesome. Some bullet points for the context:

-age gap

-she falls first he falls harder

-enemies to friends with benefits to lovers

-maybe a tiny bit of spice

The rest is totally up to you!!!

— PAST EMOTIONS

@mariechristine00

pairing(s) - soft!haymitch x recovering!fem reader

word count - 801

warnings - mentions of sex (past tense), light bickering, age gap (haymitch is 42 & reader is 27), implied situations.

proofread? - yes.

note from author - why did his flirting make me giggle 🤭 ???

summary - you were rescued from the capitol along with other victors - haymitch is your first visitor and you're happy to see him.

“You don’t happen to have any alcohol on you, do you?” Haymitch asked. He was your very first visitor since you had been brought to District 13 - along with Peeta, Johanna, and Annie. You considered Haymitch as a friend, of sorts…though you two didn’t get along when you first met.

I smile gently when you saw Haymitch was your first visitor. you were definitely happy to see a friendly face. “You think I’d be able to smuggle something like that in?”

“You’d be surprised.” He said, in a matter-of-fact tone. “How’d your visit with Coin go?” He asked, now stepping into your room.

“Haven’t gone yet.” You shook your head. “She thought I’d be in the same shape as Peeta.” And this was true, Coin had said that you should get your rest.

Haymitch seemed to find your words amusing, chuckling slightly before sitting in a nearby chair. "How are you feeling?" He asked, in a much kinder tone than that of how he spoke to you before. He didn't seem like the type to care about other victors' welfare - but he was much more attentive to you since your rescue.

This out-of-character nature seemed to confuse you when you pointed that out to him. "Since when have you started being so nice?"

He shrugged, raising an eyebrow as if he just found your question amusing. "You're not in a condition to be picking fights, are you?"

You scoffed. You two always had this banter going on with eachother but - the tension was released the few times you had slept together.

His grey-blue eyes met yours. "Besides..." He continued. "I've always been nice. To you."

You chuckled at his comment. "No, you haven't. We hated eachother when we first met."

His smirk grew at the mention of your first meeting. He looked as if he had remembered something that amused him greatly - though he kept it to himself. "Maybe, but even then...couldn't deny the chemistry, could we?" He asked.

You gave him a side glance with a soft chuckle. "I wanted to smack you in the face the first time we met - if you wanna call that chemistry..."

"And I would've loved every second of it," He said, his smirk growing. "You have to admit, the physical tension..." He trailed off, hoping you'd finish the sentence.

You smiled looking up from your eyebrows. You had been tracing designs on the blankets of your rather uncomfortable - recovery bed. "I know." You mumbled like a child would have.

"And the times - when we acted on it..." He let his sentence linger again, trying to get you to look over at him - which you eventually did. The playful smile on his expression seemed to indicate that he really did remember - quite clearly - the intimate times you two had spent together.

You met his eyes again and shook your head gently. This wasn't something you wanted to talk about now - especially since boundaries had been set beforehand.

"C'mon. You're telling me you don't remember? I certainly do..." He teased, getting up from his chair and sitting beside you on your bed. "We might've decided not to take it any further, but we both enjoyed every second of it, didn't we?"

You found yourself sighing. "Maybe we should've taken it further." You realized why you had agreed with him on the initial arrangement - you knew there was a chance that you could've been killed since you were helping the rebels. But now you were safe and recovering in the underground of District 13.

His smile grew again at this - it seemed that he had been secretly hoping the same thing this entire time. "I couldn't agree more." He admitted, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into a small side hug. "It's not too late..." He murmured, brushing your hair off your cheek and leaning closer to you.

You looked at him softly. "I'm not too young for you?" You joked gently. You were much younger than him, maybe by 15 years or so.

Haymitch smirked in response to your question. He mimicked your joking tone. "I think you're old enough to make your own decisions. Wouldn't you?" He whispered, his voice tinged with arousal as he moved his head closer to yours. His warm breath lightly brushed against the side of your face - as a chill seemed to travel up your spine.

You nodded with a gentle smile. "The age difference doesn't bother me..."

His lips met yours softly, before he pulled you even closer to him. You felt his warm body pressed against yours as his hand started to softly caress you hair. He broke away from the kiss with a soft laugh. "God, I've missed you."

You smirked gently. "Show me how much you've missed me-" You paused. "I'll close the door."

read my merged works here!

#writing #reqs open #request #oneshot #headcanon #smut #the hunger games #hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay part 1 #mockingjay part 2 #mockingjay #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #haymitch abernathy #haymitch x reader #thg haymitch

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sweptawayghost · 6 months ago

Text

In Dreams Pt.2

PAIRING: Joel Miller X Reader

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Joel is plagued by images of you when he closes his eyes. The dreams aren't stopping and his feelings for you only grow stronger with everyday. As Winter closes in you go on one last unofficial patrol, close proximity makes Joels brain go all stupid.

Hello!!!

Thank you so much for the support on my first part, it really means the world to me. I’ve got ideas of where I want the story to go but it's gonna be mostly Joel lusting after us for a while. I love when big strong men need to be held and told what a good boy they've been...

If you'd like me to tag you in my next part just let me know. Let me know if I missed any warnings. Thank you so much :) Anything Written like this {Italic} indicated Joel's inner thoughts. Word count 4.1K

CHAPTER WARNING: Mention of male masturbation, mentions of alcohol, Age gap, Mentions of creampie, sharing the same bed, Pet name (we call Joel baby), some fluff, some smut

It wasn't just once. Of course it wouldn't be. It wasn't the only night he dreamt about you either. Too many nights he woke up in full body sweats, which was not new to him but the reason was new.

The reason being you.

He would think about all the times your fingertips would brush his skin, he would think about the way you would grab his arm when walking down the street with him, he would think about the way you grabbed a fist full of his hair when it had started growing out of control “you need a haircut Miller” the act of your touch was innocent but it lit a fire in Joel’s gut.

Every little touch stuck with him and followed him around for the rest of the day like a drop of blood on a white shirt, almost haunting him. It would follow him to bed at night as well. When he settled into the comforting silence of his bedroom he could tune everything out like a radio and focus on your voice in his head.

Some nights he would find himself rutting against the bed for relief, his eyes sealed shut, softly whimpering, wishing you were beneath him, Talking him through it, telling him how good he’s making you feel. He wanted to watch your eyes roll back, mouth agape gasping for air, moaning into his ear. God get a grip of yourself Miller. But he couldn't help himself. Images of you overriding every other thought in his brain almost like he was a puppet and someone else was pulling the strings.

He was afraid of how much he wanted you. He would be consumed by his orgasm, his body stuttering as he held a death grip on the bathroom sink or the sheets benether him, always with the image of you flooding his mind, smiling at him, proud of yourself for how crazy you were making him, how desperate he was to cum and how you would let him do it inside of you because he was being so good for you. Ropes of his spent painting the soft skin of his stomach and the rough skin of his hand. A flash of heat rushed through him as he stifled his moans and let his body vibrate against the bed as he came down from his high.

The lonely empty feeling would chase him around all night. Some nights it would be easy to scare it off and find sleep. Can you call this sleep? Other nights he wasn't as lucky.

He thinks about the time the two of you stumbled home from the Bison, your arm linked around his elbow as you walked side by side down the silent streets of Jackson. You had told him that the silence was sometimes deafening, how it sometimes felt worse than being outside the walls. He agreed. He confessed that he didn't sleep the first week of being here and how much worse he felt now that he had genuine safety. He wanted to let you into his head.

If I hadn't just met you I would tell you everything. I would tell you about Sarah, I'd tell you the truth about Ellie. I would tell you about the ache in my chest when I wake up and I'd tell you how much it’s eased since I’ve met you. I'd tell you about how much I like you being around. You'd probably think I’m insane if you knew how much I think about you.

She trusts you Joel. Dont fuck this up by letting your dick do your thinking for you.

The guilt would start to eat him alive. God she's your friend, she trusts you and you're laying in bed thinking about how good it would be to creampie her. You’re fucked up.

If he couldn't sleep he would find himself sitting up with a book or fiddling with one of his wood carvings.

On nights where that didn't help he would take a walk...

///

“Is your girlfriend coming over as well?” Ellie called out to him from the dining room as she placed cutlery out on the table.

She had invited a friend over for dinner. Something Joel hasn’t expected, especially so soon and especially after the way she spoke about some of the other kids in town. Really he knew it wasn't just a friend. Ellie had been acting differently, humming to herself and smiling all the time, not nearly as quick witted and all day dreamy. She’s in love.

“Ellie” He called out to her from the kitchen averting his gaze from the stove “She aint my girlfriend… and yes she's coming over” He felt the tips of his ears burn, he could blame the tint of red that covered his face on the heat from the stove but he wouldn't have an excuse for the smile that followed.

It had only been a few weeks since your first meeting but you had somehow integrated yourself into Joel's life. On the days that you didn't patrol together he would come visit you at the stables or the greenhouse when he was finished at work. He would come past your house to split wood or mow your yard. He fixed your front door weeks ago, he cleaned out your guttering and was able to fix that window in your bedroom that you were never able to open.

Ellie took to you right away. She would look for any excuse to invite you over, Joel never put up a fight. He wanted you around as much as Ellie did. Many nights he would come home to a basket of fresh produce on his bench or a plate of brownies on the bench. In the long list of gifts you gave him, the friendship you shared with Ellie was the most valuable and irreplaceable. She looked up to you.

When Sarah was alive, Joel worried that she would have questions he couldn't answer. Girly questions. Questions that would be as uncomfortable to ask as they would be the answer. Of course Ellie wasn't like most kids her age but some things never really change. Some things you just don't talk to your dad about.

Sometimes he would just sit there and watch the two of you talking on the porch. He liked watching the way the pair of you would throw your heads back in laughter, slapping each other's arms and shoulders, he could watch it all day. Or the two of you sitting on his couch scribbling into notepads and books occasionally showing each other things you had written down or drawn. The hushed whispers at the dinner table when he wasn't paying attention. Ellie taking full advantage of his deafness. Or some nights you would be walking her back home with an arm linked in hers or thrown over her shoulder. Something Ellie would continue to say she hated but secretly loved. In a lot of ways you treated her like she was your sister. If you and Ellie are sisters that would make me… Yuck.

Ellie jumped when she heard the knock on the door. She was off all afternoon, fidgety and jittery. Ringing her fingers and cracking her knuckles when her hands were idle before wiping her palms on her jeans. Small things you think I don't notice. Dropping the remaining utensils.

“I'll get it!” she shouted as she turned to run towards the sound, joel could hear the soft thump of her socked feet on the worn hardwood of the floor. He heard the door open and felt the cold air sweep through followed by an “oh, it's just you” He let his lips curl into a smile.

You slid into the kitchen like you usually do, your shoes and jacket forgotten in the lounge room. Joel loved it when you wore your hair down. He loved seeing the way your jeans hung around your waist and he fucking loved when you didnt wear a bra. Like tonight. He tried not to notice and he tried not to look but sometimes he thinks you did it on purpose. Stop it Miller.

“Nothing sexier than a man in the kitchen” you blurted out at him from the doorway, he looked over at you, he didn't miss the way your eyes lingered on his form.

“Shut up” He shook his head and averted his attention back to the pot on the stove. He couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips but he didn't mind that you saw it. He lowered the heat on the stove before turning to lean on the counter.

You placed a bottle on the kitchen island before jumping up to sit on it. A recurring gift of Seth's finest home brewed whisky. The bottle in similar shape to the one you gave him weeks ago.

There have been many nights since then that the two of you would drown in the amber liquid. Each time only strengthened his affection for you.

One night he made a confession to you about the pit in his stomach and the hole in his heart, he told you about the nightmares he had almost every time he closed his eyes and the suffocating feeling he had once he woke from them. He couldn't look at you although he felt you searching for his eyes.

He heard the shuffled movement from where you sat beside him on the couch. He closed his eyes when he felt your hand on the back of his neck, fingertips cold despite the heat coming from the fire, he surrendered when you pulled him into your chest and he let his arms wrap around your middle.

He didn't mind letting you see this part of him. The soft and broken part. He never felt as though he needed to hide from you.

“You're okay, baby” you whispered into his hair. That was all it took for him to crumble into you.

Baby

Did you mean to say that?

Baby

Had it slipped out by accident?

Baby

Did you call everyone that? He searched his brain for the answer to the questions, coming up empty.

Baby

He tried to think about the last time he let himself fall apart. When was the last time you let yourself feel? When was the last time someone just held you?

You would never know what it meant to him. But he would never know what it meant to you.

While the safety inside the walls of Jackson made his stomach churn, the safety he felt being in your arms was inviting and warm.

Joel Miller, for the first time in a long time, was safe. Wow

When the morning came he found himself still in your embrace, slotted between your thighs, his head resting against your stomach with his hands pressed into your back, your hand tangled in his hair as the other rested on his shoulder.

The fire no more than dying embers in the hearth leaving a chill in the air. He would have noticed if it wasn't for the blanket that was draped around him and the heat coming off of your body, particularly right between your legs. He ignored the ache in his back and the cramping in his slumped hip as looked over your sleeping form. You looked so peaceful, almost angelic with the soft light of the morning flooding in through the windows, the peaks of your breasts pushing through your shirt, nipples hardened from the cold air in the room, Your hair falling so lazily over the couch cushion.

You didn't try to ask Joel questions about his confession the next day, for that he was grateful. He already felt bad enough having said it at all. She thinks you're weak Miller. She feels bad for you that's why she's here, not because she cares, do you really think she’d like someone like you? Despite the insecure voice in his head giving him a beating, he wouldn't forget the way you held him, he wouldn't forget the way you looked down at him once you woke up, he wouldn't forget the slow rise and fall of your chest as you slept and he wouldn't forget the heat that seeped into him from between your legs.

Baby

“Hello? Are you even listening to me?” Joel didn't realise you had been talking to him, wrapped up in the memory or your embrace.

“I just missed the last bit” Good lie Miller. You rolled your eyes at him knowing he didn't hear a word. You jumped down from the counter and closed the gap between the two of you before reaching out to grab his chin between your thumb and forefinger.

“If you weren't so handsome i would slap the shit out of you”

Joel tried to pay attention to what you said next which was hard given you didn't let go of his chin and the smell of your soap was intoxicating and the fact that you had called him handsome. The heat from your body and your constant eye contact making it hard for him to focus on anything else besides the pressure building in his jeans. What did she say? Six days? Something about patrol and the snow. Let's go before the snow or something like that? Does it really matter? Just say yes to whatever she asks.

Another knock on the door followed by a shout from Ellie breaking the moment.

///

Joel liked that you never really got small talk. You would ask him strange things like, what colour his first bike was or how old he was when he shaved for the first time. Why would you wanna know? His favourite was when you asked him to tell you about his first girlfriend.

"Hmm, I think her name was Stacy?" He said it like a question "Lacie?" He clicked his finger and pointed at you "no! Macie" He looked over the top of the flames to find your face staring back at him.

Normally a fire is a huge no no for Joel but the cold night air coupled with the pelting rain left him with no choice. The two of you had been out for two days now, taking shelter in whatever somewhat secure structure you came across at nightfall and the rain was welcome, covering any sounds the pair of you would make as well as washing away the build up of sweat and dirt that covered his skin. Soon snow would blanket the ground of jackson, the sightings of infected would lessen and the town would slow for a while.

You had dragged him out for one last trip before it got too cold and too dangerous to be out for an extended period of time.

“Do you think that you loved her?” you asked as you laid down on your side with an elbow propping your head up. He mirrored your posture and paused to think about it.

Joel could count on one hand how many people he actually loved and Lacie. Wait no, Macie definitely wasn't one of them.

“ No” He relaxed into your gaze from across the fire, the cold air pricking the back of his neck. “ I was young and love really wasn't the first thing on my mind. Even if I told her I loved her I probably didn't mean it.” it might have sounded cruel but it was the truth.

He would tell you about the movies they would see together and about the music they would listen to. He would describe the creek they would swim in during summer and how they would ride their bikes around town before Joel finally saved enough money to buy a car.

"What kind of car did you drive?"

He found it cute that you cared, that you would even know what he was talking about if he told you.

"It was a red pickup truck, hunk of shit really but it was mine" He felt his cheeks heat up as you continued your relentless eye contact. He felt like a doddering old man reliving stories of his glory days when you asked him these kinds of questions. But you would watch him with close intent. Hanging on to his every word, mouth slightly agape as you listened to him as if he was the most interesting person telling you the most interesting story.

You turned onto your stomach bringing your elbows up and placing a hand on either side of your face to support the weight of your head, eyes sparkling over at him. I wish she would stop looking at me like that. If she only knew what she did to me.

"I wish I was lucky enough to have a car"

You said this sincerely but Joel remembers the car very well. Ripped up fabric seating, no plastic cover on the dashboard, absolutely no air conditioning and only the driver's side window went down. Not to mention the fuel gauge would stick so he was caught out more than once on the side of the road with an empty tank.

"wasn't a prize" he'd said, looking deeper into the flames, you were still looking at him, studying his expression as he got lost in the memory. You seemed closer than you did before.

"Did you fuck her in the back or what?" You had asked him so bluntly without emotion as if you had asked him how his day was. He stifled a laugh before letting his eyes drift over to you. He could see you weren't really joking although you did have a hint of a grin on your lips and a glint in your eyes that screamed ‘I'm trying to make you uncomfortable.’

He could feel his own grin creeping over his face, you were trying to make him uncomfortable and it was working. Joel would tell you anything you wanted to hear as long as he could keep looking at you like this, head tilted a little bit as if he was telling you the most interesting story you ever heard, eyes blown wide, lazy smile on your lips just slightly showing your teeth. God why do you have to look at me that way.

"Wow" you started "Such a romantic, Miller" Your smile no longer a lazy grin but a real one, the one he loved to see you wear. He blamed the heat of the fire for the flush of his checks when you asked if he was blushing. He blamed the day's hike for his urgency to sleep and his sudden silence. But he blamed you for the swell of his cock. It's just the way she's looking at me, I can't help that. He had his eyes closed but he could hear the rustling of your sleeping bag getting closer and closer to where he was laying.

“Let me sleep next to you, I'm freezing my ass off” It wasn't a question, you were already doing it and you probably wouldn't have stopped even if he had said no. you started to unzip your bag and he followed suit, clipping the zips together before you crawled inside it. It was still a fairly snug fit, not that he was complaining, he would take any opportunity to be this close to you. Just don't get a full blown hard on and you’ll be fine. When you said ‘sleep next to you’ he didn't think this is what you meant.

You settled in beside him, pressing your back to his chest, the swell of your ass pressed up against him and the smell of your hair mixed with your sweat filled his nose. You grabbed his arm and slung it over your hip, silently giving him permission to touch you so he slid his other arm under your neck and pulled you in closer. Joel could be wrong, but you didn't feel particularly cold.

“Can you tell me more” you asked him, turning your head slightly over your shoulder in his direction. “About your life before”

He started talking, he talked about his childhood, he talked about his mama, he talked about his favourite meals and he told you about his ambitions and his dreams. Periodically pulling a giggle from you as you swatted his hand. At some point you had rolled over to face him, draping a leg over his waist, giving him that same look from before, listening like your life depended on it, looking at him like he was the only person on earth, like he was the one who hung the moon in the sky.

He described the neighbourhood he lived in, He mentioned sarahs name in passing a few times, never once did you press for more than what he gave you. One day he would tell you about her, but not tonight. Maybe when I'm drunk. That’ll make it easier.

You brought a hand up to cup his check, gently rubbing the stubbled hair that lived there with your thumb, catching the corner of his lip as you passed back and forth.

“I love when you talk about her.” you told him. He was putty in your hands.

Your soft whispers would stay with him. He knew in the morning you wouldn't say anything and you knew he wouldn't say anything. He didn't know when he fell asleep but he only hopes it was after you did. You would follow him into his dreams that night, as you did so many nights nowadays. Your laugh, your smile, your hand on the apple of his cheek, Sweaty skin sticking to his, how you would look on top of him, tits bouncing in his face as you moaned out his name over and over like a prey, all exposed skin and desperate kisses. He was clinging to every moan, every breath, every whimper he could. Wake up.

The smell of coffee was the first thing that hit him, next was the absence of you next to him, then it was the ache of his swollen member against the zip on his jeans. He turned to look for you, the smell of fire was next, followed by sound of rain against the rotting bored of the shed you had called camp that night. He saw you sitting at the foot of the sleeping bag's knee propped up as you scribbled in your notebook, a sight he’d seen a million times. It was a dark brown leather covered book, not thick enough to weigh you down enough to make itself known. It had clippings, photographs of people you never knew and would never know, stamps and postcards, elastic bands, paper clips and torn weathered notes jammed throughout it, he had even seen you pull flowers and leaves out of it ‘flower pressing’ you had told him.

What he wouldn't give to get his hands on it, to see what made you tick, to rip open your head and dig around. You had given him a lot over the few weeks that you had known him but it still somehow wasn't enough. You had confided in him about mistakes you had made, about the things you had gone through to get here, uncalled for fights and your old patrol partner. Your old patrol partner. You had only ever brought them up once, no descriptor, no he or she, nothing. He had come up blank trying to get information out of Tommy. You had only said it once but that was all he needed.

You had told him about your relationships, the good, the bad and he ugly. The serious ones and the not so serious ones and even the experimental ones ‘ I was drunk okay?’ you had told him ‘but even if i wasn't I still would have done it’. But he always felt like a part of you was hidden away.

The soft slap of pages closing broke him from his thoughts.

“Good morning” your voice came out as a whisper, close and thick with sleep. You extended your hand out to him, holding the metal lid from the thermos, still half full with the coffee you just brewed.

When you packed up to leave that morning you didn't unzip the sleeping bags. You still didn’t unzip it when you set up camp that night.

Whispers. Dreams. Fire. Rain. Coffee. You.

Secrets. Hard on. Fire. Rain. Coffee. Notebook. You.

Mumble. Slumber. Fire. Notebook. Throbbing. You.

“Joel” Your voice broke through the silence of the morning waking him from filthy dreams of you.

“you moan a lot in your sleep”

@orcasoul

@vodkasicecream

#joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x you #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #smut #soft joel miller #idiots in love #the last of us

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cowboyjen68 · 1 year ago

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Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.

So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.

I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.

Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?

It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.

Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!

It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.

AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.

My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.

Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.

Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.

I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.

It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.

It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.

The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.

You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.

#butch #lesbian #family #unwanted opinions of family

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 5 months ago

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What does Zuko do for Mai? She clearly puts a lot of effort into the relationship but he doesn't.

He had a lot of growing up to do before he could be in a relationship with ANY girl. Mai came through for him but he never did for her. It makes sense that he originally didn't have a love interest.

...You come into MY HOUSE to talk shit about MY BOY? And about MY SHIP? Anon, grab a sword, we're gonna fight!

Okay now, jokes aside, while Zuko has some maturing to do, so does Mai. And they'd still make mistakes even if their family lives hadn't deeply traumatized them because they're teenagers. Lots of the mistakes they've made (jealousy, poor communication, one accidentally being too aloof, etc) are stuff perfectly healthy and mature adults still make because surprise surprise, figuring out how to make things work with someone is hard, and considering their traumas and the situation they were in, they could have done A LOT worse.

Nothing either of them has done crosses the line into "Behavior that indicates this person should not be in a romantic relationship with ANYONE, at least for now." It's typical relationship stuff that either results on a permanent break-up or a temporary falling out that pushes both to get their shit together and be better for each other.

Not to mention, the root of all of Zuko's issues was the fact that he was abuse victim who was struggling to cope with his abuser being not only his own father but the absolute monarch of their nation. He got used to not being able to trust that someone's affection for him was genuine, to fear that it could suddenly be stolen away.

That he couldn't rely on anyone else because THE person that was supposed to take care of him betrayed him in such a cruel way and got away with it. That feeling entitled to things and then using whatever means to obtain it was the ONLY way to not be neglected, ignored and taken advantage of.

His abuser is gone now, but no matter how much therapy (or at least the ATLA equivalent of it) he gets, Zuko will only learn how to have healthy relationship through practical means because it's REALLY easy to be a good partner in THEORY, but things always get messy when you're dealing with the real thing.

Reality is very different from hypothetical scenarios in which you're dealing with the idea of a partner that never misunderstands you, never says things in a way that didn't realize weren't clear enough for you, never loses their temper, never takes things to heart, never fucks up, never needs a bit of space when you fuck up, never is as in the dark as you are about how to handle an unexpected issue, never gets too needy, never gets too distant - never acts like a human being.

Zuko still makes mistakes when it comes to his uncle and his friends, but no one says "That means Zuko should not have a father figure nor friends" because we saw that being alone Gives Him Very Bad Ideas. Why should romance be any different? A relative or a friend can hurt you just as much as a romantic partner can, and be just as hurt by stuff you do. It makes no sense to act like a flawed person is allowed to want a family and friends, but not a committed relationship.

As to what Mai gets out of this:

1 - Zuko loves her for who she is and canonically likes it when she expresses herself, even when what she is expressing is "Zuko, I'm done with your bullshit". For someone who has been neglected and taught over and over that her opinions don't matter, that means a lot.

2 - When Zuko changed sides, he didn't try to guilt her into leaving with him, and didn't hold it against her when it looked like she was gonna remain loyal to Azula. Compare that to her parents not giving a shit that she didn't want to move to Omashu, or to her knowing there was a possibility of her getting killed by Azula if she displeased her, and tell me in which relationship Mai feels she has the most agency.

Zuko is not a perfect boyfriend, but the simple fact that Mai isn't even slightly afraid to talk back to him when he goes too far speaks volumes on who she feels safer with and trusts to never try to coerce her into staying if she ever decides to leave.

3 - Mai and Zuko enjoy each other's company, are attracted to each other and he is as openly affectionate with her as she is with him. Even the sea-shell she didn't like and the ice-cream he accidentally dropped on her lap were just him trying to spoil her a bit - and he managed to do it in a way she'd appreciate in Nightmares and Daydreams.

He can be a jerk sometimes due to his anger issues (something he canonically was working on and wanted to move past), but he could also be a genuinely caring boyfriend.

4 - Zuko was also neglected and made to feel worthless for most of his life. They can relate to each other.

5 - Three years into his banishment, after no seeing her for a long time and unsure if he'd ever even hear from her again, he still thought of how Azula pulled a prank on them because of Mai's crush on him.

He constantly sought her out for comfort when he was back in the Fire Nation, even when she didn't really know how to handle that yet. Out of all the things he had left behind when he joined the Gaang, she was the one he openly said he'd miss. He was overjoyed when they were reunited in the finale.

Even his not at all healthy levels of jealousy are extra proof that he isn't just putting up with her like her family, he cares about her and actively WANTS her in his life, to the point of being scared that someone could "steal" her from him - and again, Mai feels more than comfortable enough to call him out when he goes too far, so it never crosses the line into "He means well, so lets excuse the bad behavior."

Mai feels wanted, safe and understood. Girl could do a lot worse.

#pro maiko #maiko

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still-not-over-transformers · 1 year ago

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Hi! Can I request a smutty one-shot of TP Starscream x autobot femme robot reader pretty please? Perhaps the two are crazy for each other but don't want anyone finding out? Go wild! 🥰

You guys really seem to love Screamer... :3

Secret Rendezvous

TFP Starscream x Autobot Femme Reader

Warnings: NSFW

Word Count: 1600

You awoke to the sensation of pain and aching throughout your frame. Your surroundings were dark with the exception of cracks of light coming through seams in the shell around you. You had crash landed on the planet’s surface, and now you had to act.

After some struggling, you were able to open the hatch and crawl out of your hopelessly damaged ship. As you looked up in your weakened state, you were met with the gaze of various Vehicons. In no shape to defend yourself, you were easily taken captive by the Vehicons and were dragged before a certain tall and slender seeker.

Starscream… you could recognize him anywhere. The seeker-now-Decepticon turned around to face you, a proud grin across his face. “Well, well… If it isn’t a poor Autobot down on their luck. How fortunate for me to have located you before the Autobots could come to your aid. Surely, Lord Megatron will appreciate a new prisoner. Perhaps you’ll make a valuable bargaining chip,” Starscream preened, clearly pleased with himself.

Starscream was certainly different from when you had last seen him. Back on Cybertron before the war Starscream was a scientist, and you had worked with him on various occasions as his assistant. You look up at the seeker, “You’ve changed a bit since we last worked together on Cybertron, you know?”

Your words pique Starscream’s interest, making him take a closer look at you. Upon this closer look, he quickly recognizes who you are. He had only worked with you for a brief time on Cybertron, before there were Autobots and Decepticons. You had been a helpful lab assistant, and always offered honest advice and showed genuine interest and praise in his endeavors. Something he never forgot. To be honest, he was disheartened when you joined the Autobots as opposed to the Decepticons. Despite this reunion, Starscream would not give any indication that he remembered you.

You found it strange to be at Starscream’s mercy, and wondered what would happen. After all, most Autobots spoke of how spineless and cruel the seeker could be, and you hoped that wasn’t true. You didn’t say anything more, holding onto hope that your previous relationship would influence his decision.

Starscream paused, but wouldn’t let the Vehicons see any weakness. He looks at the other Vehicons and grabs your shoulder firmly, “Perhaps it would be best to send a message to Optimus Prime and the Autobots. To show the absolute might of the Decepticons!” Starscream forces you to your pedes as he grabs your stasis cuffs, “I will personally end the life of this miserable Autobot and then display their corpse for Optimus Prime to see.”

You would be led into the nearby forest, into a secluded location away from the prying optics of the Vehicons. Once alone, your spark buzzed nervously, unsure of what was to come. Starscream stopped and placed one servo on your shoulder before speaking, “It appears your choices have caught up with you, Autobot,” He raises his servo high and swiftly brings it down on your cuffs, slicing them in half, leaving you to stare at him in surprise. Starscream looks at you hesitantly, “I do remember you, Y/N, and your… helpfulness as my previous assistant. Now… run off and find your Autobot friends before my troops grow suspicious.”

Knowing time was short, you thanked Starscream before departing into the wilderness. Various thoughts flooded your processor, but the most prevalent was the fact that despite the war, Starscream clearly still had some feelings for you. As time passed, you would later establish communications with Optimus Prime and the other Autobots, joining their ranks. You provided much needed help to Ratchet as a lab assistant, and while you didn’t mind working with Ratchet, your thoughts often replayed old memories of you and Starscream.

One day, you would receive a curious private message from a familiar line. It was from Starscream, and it asked you to meet with him at a private location, a set of coordinates included. You didn’t mention anything to your new comrades, and excused yourself from the base to get some fresh air. After exiting the base, you traveled to the coordinates provided in the message. You found yourself in a secluded canyon. As you investigated, a groundbridge portal appeared before you. When no one stepped through the bridge, you realized the groundbridge was meant for you to step through. After some brief hesitation, you went through the groundbridge, and upon emerging from the other side, found yourself on a mountain-side outcropping that overlooked a stunning valley.

“I see you received my message, Y/N.” You turned to see Starscream calmly standing a few meters from you. “After everything, I would think it only fair to talk with you. Any particular reason you had me meet you in some distant secret location?” You were curious as to why he would go through all this trouble to speak with you, especially now that you were on opposing sides.

“Let’s not mince words, Y/N. You know very well that us speaking openly with each other would be viewed unsavory by both Autobots and Decepticons. This is the only way we could truly speak our minds,” Starscream’s words were to the point, but clearly had an underlying tone to them.

You moved slightly closer towards Starscream, “I was curious as to why you wanted to speak with me. But perhaps it’s because you missed me? Missed us?”

Starscream briefly grew scarlet in the face, but calmed his nerves, “Ahem… Perhaps I wanted time to ourselves. Back when we would… work late into the night, hm?” He had a slight grin on his faceplate as he looked at you, extending a servo towards you.

As soon as your servos met, Starscream pulled you close to his frame, “I’ll take that as a yes,” before planting a heated kiss on your lips.

A rush of heat makes your cheeks flush bright red, Starscream’s unexpected kiss makes your frame hot and tingly. “You never fail to surprise me, Starscream. It was thoughtful of you to allow us such privacy to… reconnect,” you pull Starscream close to you once more and sensually kiss him, running your servos down his back.

In turn, Starscream’s servos wrap around your waist, his digits feeling over your frame and farther down. His servos grip your aft possessively, “Indeed, so much time for us to get reacquainted.” Starscream wastes no time pressing his lips against your neck, sucking on your sweet spot whilst a free servo traces down your chest. As things grow heated, Starscream presses you against the nearby wall of a stone outcropping.

The stimulation of the sweet spot on your neck elicits a moan from your lips, further spurring the Seeker on as he continues to ravish your frame. His nimble digits fidgeted with the clasps on your chest plate until he removed it. Starscream cupped your breasts before leaning down, slowly swirling his glossa around your nipple and then switching to the other. How he had missed this. These erotic, sensual moments the two of you used to share often back on Cybertron. Moments he believed he would never experience again, so now that he had you once more, he would make the most of every nanosecond of this encounter.

Starscream would move his servo down your chest, across your stomach, finding its way to your thighs. He possessively grabbed your panel cover, “Why don’t you open up for me, hm? Allow me to pleasure you until you can no longer stand.”

It felt as if your entire frame was on fire, and you eagerly opened your panel, longing to be filled. With a smirk, Starscream released his pressurized spike, edging the tip at your entrance but not inserting it. Primus, still a tease as always, you thought before grabbing Starscream and pulling him closer, your optics pleading for him to continue.

Starscream wrapped a servo around your waist, before suddenly pulling you forward, bringing you onto his spike. His length slid deep inside your valve, a lustful moan escaping Starscream’s lips. He soon began thrusting inside of you, his pace quick and rough as his desire for you increases. He grows rougher, aggressively pinning your back against the stone wall outcropping, his breathing growing shorter as he pounds into you. He suddenly removes his spike and flips you around to face the wall, pulling your hips close to him before eagerly thrusting back inside of you from behind.

You steady yourself by pressing your servos against the wall as Starscream thrusts into you. Ripples of pleasure flooded throughout your nether region, steadily approaching your release. The new position allowed Starscream a new angle, letting his spike plunge deeper inside of your valve, hitting every sensory node. Both of you panted loudly as the stimulation built up towards your eventual overload. After one additional pump of his spike, both you and Starscream reached your release, ecstasy overtaking the two of you.

Both of you slowly melted to the ground, as waves of pleasure washed over you. Starscream would gently support your helm as each of you slid against the earth. After catching his breath, Starscream would turn towards you, “Just as amazing as I remember, Y/N…. I have missed you.”

As you caught your own breath, you smiled at the Seeker, “I can tell… Although I hope our differing careers can still allow for our rendezvouses?”

Starscream smirked, his cunning thoughts obvious, “I do believe I can make that happen..”

#transformers #transformers prime #decepticons #transformersprime #transformers oneshot #starscream #transformers x reader insert #transformers x reader #tfp starscream #tfp starscream x reader

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tobiasdrake · 9 months ago

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Can you make something out of the Manga panel where (Future) Android 18 gets mad over video games? Or Android 18 in general, like how she uses a fighting stance like Krillin's in the Buu Saga, and the kienzan on "Mighty Mask"? Or breaking Vegeta's arm?Just, a general Android 18(maybe plus 17, or about her relationship with Krillin) character and fighting analysis?

Oh, yeah, 18 is great. What makes the Twins stand out both as antagonists and characters is that they're a stark departure from everything we've come to know in Dragon Ball. Neither martial artists nor warriors, they're children at play gifted unimaginable power without an ounce of discipline behind it.

This gives them a sort of universal appeal for an audience. It's fun to watch them wreak havoc with their play, but equally fun to watch them grow and develop as characters. The Twins came into this world with a wealth of potential.

18 often gets labeled as the serious one of the pair due to her stern disapproval or boredom over 17's antics. But it needs to be noted that she's every bit as playful as he is. They just have different ideas for how they want to play.

17 likes to savor his entertainment while 18 likes to binge. They're both childish - in personality, I need to note, as that's Future 17 and 18 up there who've been around for twenty more years than their present counterparts. Their actual ages are never stated.

And they take turns ribbing each other for their respective immaturities.

I've always loved how 18's complaint here is that 17's behavior is unbecoming of a robot. She's just like, "Oh, male sentiments; Your human base is showing, bro." Though she does also ping him with some straight-up Boomer Humor.

It was the 80's.

To be fair, she's right. Like. I cannot stress enough that 17's plan for finding Goku is to drive around the world aimlessly until a Goku appears before him.

Or that 18, despite her pretense of being above petty humanity, is snooty and posh.

Did she come from wealth?

Did Gero kidnap rich kids? Are they the children of some higher-up in the RRA? Or is she just aggressively city? She has some opinions about rural life that you don't usually expect from an orphan or runaway or whatever the Twins were before Gero found them. 18 is inexplicably classist.

Though 18 did say ACAB so she's not all bad. Two whole pages of the manga are just 18 fucking up some cops.

Nonetheless, this is how you know she loves Krillin. Living on the Muten-Roshi's island in the ass crack of nowhere is a sacrifice.

18's fight with Vegeta fresh out of the lab serves as our introduction to the Twins as fighters. The main element this fight focuses on is how... unflappable the Infinite Energy models are. We see Vegeta's attacks mess 18 up a bit.

But the emphasis is on how cool-headed and robotic she is. She's taking hits, but she doesn't act like she's taking hits.

This is another one of those lines that Viz didn't quite translate well, as it's easy to take to mean that he's failed to do any damage to her at all. Which is visibly not true. Rather, he's saying she's not acting hurt; He got a good hit in on her but she's brushing it off as if she were still in pristine condition.

18 simply doesn't react to damage.

In Fighting Game terminology, 18 has Super Armor. She and Vegeta are evenly matched but her physiology, as a bio-machine powered by an Infinite Energy generator, is a world apart from Vegeta's.

Notably, a breakdown of all of the androids on a title page indicates that 18 is weaker than 17.

This was published at the start of 17's fight with Piccolo, so I assume the purpose behind it was to explain why 17 is evenly matched with the reborn Nameless Namekian when 18 was evenly matched with Vegeta earlier.

That or sexism. It's shonen. You can never discount that as a possibility, and 18 is one of like five prominent female characters in this entire manga - and the only one ever to be able to throw punches at a Super Saiyan level.

In terms of technique, the Twins have little martial arts knowledge or ki manipulation experience to draw from. They're amateurs fighting at an advanced level. More than that, they just woke up into this power yesterday.

So while they are capable of learning to draw energy from their generators and use it like ki, as seen from their Future counterparts, the Androids of the present haven't had a chance to learn that. They never use a single ki attack in the entire Cell arc. They understand what it is, they're never confused when others shoot ki at them, but they don't know how to do it themselves. They haven't had time to learn.

This is what makes 17's force field in his fight with Piccolo so shocking.

It's also notably drawn to not look like a ki barrier or something. The crackle of lightning around it and the mechanical "VNNNNN" sound effect gives it the aesthetic of some sort of electric field. It is nonetheless likely powered by his Infinite Energy generator; I think this is what gave DBS the idea to make his whole powerset lightning based.

For the present, the Twins are pretty basic fighters in terms of technique. They're what you'd expect of random kids with lots of power plugged into them. They punch and they kick. But their intense power and limitless stamina makes them very good at punching and kicking.

It's a shame Goku never got to fight them. I'd love to see what he makes of their style.

In addition to that fight setting up the Twins' fighting style, the end of 18's fight with Vegeta (and 17's subsequent shitstomp of everyone not Vegeta) also demonstrates our first glimpse into what makes these Twins different from their Future counterparts.

They aren't interested in killing anyone. It's not super clear why that is. "Something something Cell something something butterfly effect" is the general explanation for all the retcons. This is what sets into motion the idea that maybe the two of them don't have to die. Maybe they can coexist with all the other amoral big-personality super-warriors on Earth.

A hill that Krillin will absolutely die on even if nobody else believes in it.

IIRC Akira Toriyama has stated in interview that he likes for romances to happen offscreen because he doesn't feel he's very good at writing them. So he just. Doesn't.

In my opinion, this is what makes his romances some of the best in shonen. Dragon Ball doesn't waste time getting to the relationship, instead preferring to enjoy being in it. Toriyama gives us this:

As an aside, the way Yamcha leaps to retaliatory violence because a woman rejected his bro has always read as a major YIKES to me but I digress.

But then she sees Shenron, comes back out of curiosity, and overhears Krillin spending a wish from a magical wish-granting dragon to help her and 17 live more comfortable lives despite her rejection.

And we get a second, more conflicted departure.

And then seven years later:

You can see the appeal of Toriyama's approach to romance here. Like. If you're great at writing romance, all power to you. But if you know romance isn't your thing? As a Not Writing Romance romance, this is great. All the pieces you need to understand how this happened are there.

This is probably the best Not Writing Romance of Toriyama's career. And it gives 18 an inroad into the 25th Tenkaichi Budokai. Despite 17 being expressly the stronger, 18 features in both the first and last fights that the Twins are ever given.

While the tournament's ending is predominately a bit of a goof that 18 dominates, we do get a legitimate fight for her. It's not much of a fight, as she throws down with Mighty Mask, who is Goten and Trunks in a trenchcoat. But it does show how she's evolved into a martial artist, as the 18 of the present demonstrates the first ki attack she's ever done on-panel.

Future 18 also learned how to manipulate ki, but that was primarily done through your standard ki blasts. Lots of them when she's mad at video games. (Felt.)

But this moment implies a lot about her relationship with Krillin. 18 hasn't just figured out how to use ki; She's been studying martial arts with him. In this moment, 18 realizes that Goten and Trunks are too strong to tackle head on.

But unlike any fight the Twins have ever been in before, she has an answer to that. She's taken Krillin's style as her own and learned a better understanding of how to be a martial artist. She has Krillin's signature Kienzan under her belt, as well as remarkable control over it to only cut the costume like that.

And more to the point, she has learned how to fight as an underdog. Faced with the power that the boys possess, 18 cuts the knot. She doesn't have to beat them; She only has to make them lose.

And then that just leaves the true champion and greatest adversary 18 will ever face, the legendary Mr. Satan.

She does not win the tournament but she has the trophy in her possession. Bulma would be so proud.

It's funny to me that this begins a tradition of throwing fights in the ring to Mr. Satan after giving the other matches everything they've got. The progenitor of that tradition was an act of flagrant blackmail. Really goes to show how bad Goku remains to this day at reading dishonesty. Innocent to a fault, that man.

18 doesn't get to be involved in the stuff with Majin Buu. But she's never been a character who'd want to be. She doesn't care about fighting and defeating monsters and stuff. She's only ever been looking for a good time.

The series leaves her off in a place where we can feel confident that she's found what she was missing. She has a family that she genuinely seems to love, a relationship built on mutual respect and tenderness, and a fuckton of blackmail money to finally return to her apparently high-class roots?

She had to took a long and weird-ass van ride through the backwoods to get here, but she's gonna be alright.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #android 18

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