#if he's wrong anyway then it doesn't matter right
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Sorry for the 3 year Hiatus (。•́︿•̀。) Forgive me?
Anyway....
Sanemi Brainrot Time 🩷
SFW:
-He's a completely different man when he's with you. He's constantly holding your hand to guide you around; along the sidewalk, up and down the stairs, uphill, downhill, doesn't matter. Keeping you safe is his number one priority, even if he's only walking you through the hallway. He'd never forgive himself if you so much as slipped on pebble.
-But it took a while for you to get to that point. Each night, you found yourself restless, unable to catch a wink of sleep, and so you'd sneak off to what used to be your secret escape. Just a simple, peaceful meadow that you'd given a few homey touches to: A picnic blanket, a lantern, and a couple of books to take your mind off things. It was your own little slice of heaven, until one night, you found Sanemi sitting among the flowers. He looked a little out of place. So brutish and hardened in contrast to the delicate petals all around him.
-At first, the two of you would ignore each other and simply go about your own separate business. But eventually, you began to greet to one another. Greetings turned to small talk, smal talk to meaningful conversations. After nearly a year of meeting up like this each night, you began to see each other in daylight too.
-The other Hashira would notice how Sanemi didn't bump shoulders with you in the hallway and instead, made an effort to avoid colliding with you. They'd notice how he'd soften his gaze and actually look at you when you passed by, instead of storming in whatever direction he was going. They'd notice how you'd wave to him, and how he'd turn pink at the sight of your gorgeous smile instead of asking you "what your damn problem was." They'd notice how the two of you shared your own inside jokes, how he'd suddenly become calm in your presence, how he'd lower his tone when you entered the room, how you slowly became more and more talkative and friendly as the two of you began to fall deeper and deeper in love. It was so incredibly obvious to everyone, but incredibly sweet at the same time.
-One day, during one of your nightly rendezvous, the two of you were silently gazing up at the stars together when a sudden rush of confidence overtook you. You inched your hand a little closer until your pinkies were touching, then gently intertwined yours with Sanemi's, who remained quiet all the while. Wordlessly, Sanemi shifted his hand underneath yours, and locked his fingers with your smaller ones. The two of you exchanged looks, and nothing more. There was no need. You understood each other perfectly.
-He was stunned each time you kissed him on the cheek. Every look, every smile, every wink, every touch, everything you did was pure sweetness in his eyes. You could do no wrong. He catered to your every wish and desire, no matter how tedious or inconvenient. He'd give you the sky if only you'd ask it of him. Your bedroom was filled to the ceiling with gifts from Sanemi. Flowers, chocolates, new dresses and kimonos, shoes, dolls, plushies, everything you could ever ask for. And yet, you never did. He simply wanted you to have them, and so he'd bring them to you no questions asked, like a bird finding a shiny rock for his mate. It just made sense to him. You deserved anything you wanted.
-Including marriage. And when he finally proposed, he did so in your secret meadow, under the stars. You were so happy, you couldn't even say "yes," only managing to throw yourself into his arms and pepper his face with kiss after kiss.
NSFW:
-Sex was a different story though. He absolutely dominated and manhandled you in the bedroom. Not in a mean way, just that in order to show you how much he loved you, he had to fuck you like he hated you. That makes sense, right?
-His favorite position is absolutely reverse cowgirl. He just loves watching your cheeks bounce on top of him and seeing your thighs jiggle with each slam of your relentless hips. He loved it when you rested your pretty feet on top of his thighs while riding him too. Yeah, he's that kind of guy, sucks toes, eats ass, eats his cum off of you AND out of you. The good stuff.
-He can be VERY kinky, too. He'd indulge in each and every one of your kinks indiscriminately, even if he isn't sure he's into it. He's gotta try it at least once for his pretty wife, doesn't he? You deserve no less.
-Sanemi cannot get enough of your bouncy tits either. He's constantly sucking and biting on them and shoving his dick in between them. He's a sucker for nipple play and loves to tease and torture them until they're so sensitive that you can't wear a bra comfortably. He'll always make sure to kiss them better for you, though, so it's always worth it.
-He's rough when he throatfucks you too. He's the type to teach you how to relax your throat to take him better and give you "practice time" to get better at taking all of his thick dick in your mouth. He likes to shove it in all the way and force you to hold still, just feeling his throbbing dick in your throat and his heavy, cum filled balls on your face.
-He's a eater for sure. He absolutely gets pussy drunk and eats you out for hours unless you physically stop him from the overstimulation. He'll use his body to pin you and hold your thighs apart so he lap at your juicy peach and drink up all your nectar without worrying about your incessant kicking and squirming. He won't stop until he's drank you dry and you're crying for mercy.
-When your legs are in the air, it just does something to him. He LOVES staring down at your fucked out face, seeing your thighs pressed up again your chest, your knees beside your head, and your cute feet in his face. He'll suck and kiss and lick at your ankles while mercilessly bullying his needy cock in and out of your squirting pussy. Maybe he just gets off on being bigger, stronger, and tougher than you, but something about seeing you folded up and immobilized, completely at his mercy makes him want to cum inside you until he can't breathe anymore.
-And he sure is noisy too. You can barely hear yourself moaning with how loud Sanemi is. He's constantly babbling about how sexy and wet you are, how you're so good at milking his aching dick and balls, his needy grunts and groans, the wet sounds of his mouth on your tits and the even lewder and wetter noises his dick makes as he plunges himself into your juicy pussy as if he'll die the moment he stops.
-Dont even get him started with the praise. Sure, he'll call you his good girl, but if you praise him right back, he'll cum on the spot. "That's my good boy" "Your dick feels so fucking good" "I'm gonna cum all over that dick, baby" "You're gonna make me squirt again" "Just like that baby, right there" Oh, he'd just kill anyone who so much as thought about looking at you.
Okay byyyyye Love yall (´。• ω •。`) ♡
#daydreaming#demon slayer#sanemi x reader#sanemi shinazugawa#smut#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x female reader#demon slayer x oc#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer smut#sanemi smut
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DPXDC LOA & COURT OF OWLS FIC REC
TITLE/LINK RATING COMPLETED-WORD-COUNT SERIES
DP FIC REC HOME POST
let me know if the links aren't working and feel free to suggest any
& THE LEAGUE OF ASSASINS
Ghoulish M 14,758 SERIES
Danny meets and grows closer to a stranger named Ra's. He has time to regret it.
The Grandfather Paradox M 11,097 SERIES
Falling through time and space is not what Danny had planned for his day. Being saved by an unknown stranger was definitely up there too, and he definitely hadn't meant to grow attached to a time period he could never stay in. At first it had just been a curiosity. Who would not be curious about a mysterious child from a foreign land wound up suddenly in the desert sand? But interest had turned into fondness, fondness into affection. The boy is his son. In everything but blood. Ra's is not entirely wrong about that. He just missed a generation in between.
The Lazarus Child T 3,712 SERIES
“You told me a child did it.” “But no ordinary child. A child born in hell.” What if the child who managed to climb out of the Pit wasn’t who we thought? Instead, it was a black-haired with icy blue eyes child whose face resembles one man we know. Enter Danyal al Ghul.
Outta Your League G 1,202
Maddie wanted to know why a boy that looked just like Talia al Ghul was in Gotham. Damian wanted to know why a random woman felt the need to run from him in terror. Danny just wanted to know what was going on. All-in-all, Danny's campus visit to Gotham U went pretty poorly.
Two Of A Time T
Ra's Al Ghul and Danny Phantom just can't help but keep meeting each other throughout all of time!
An Heir For You And Me M SERIES
Ra's talks Talia into summoning the holder of the Ring of Rage to get a new heir. Talia will do it but she has her own plans.
Growing Ghosts And Silent Swords M
What if Danny managed to sneak up on Talia? She would totally adopt and train him as an assassin right?
Walking Side By Side M
Danny thought he escaped the League and his father's expectations for good when he was 8. To his surprise they came back for him. Recently escaping from the government and his adopted parents alike and trying to avoid both the GIW and the League he gets sucked back in anyways. He has a nephew now though, so thats cool. He's getting out again but at what cost? Is the gain worth it? Danyal Al Ghul-Fenton, the son of Ra's Al Ghul, Talia Al Ghul's younger brother, and the Demon Heir- fell into the Fenton's life at the age of 8 only to get ripped back into his old life ten years later. He manages to get out again with Jason Todd under the assumption he'll assist him in his mission. He assists him a lot more positively instead. The league is still on his back though, after all Ra's still needs an heir. Can Danny escape his family again?
& THE COURT OF OWLS
Infiltrate And Annihilate T 1,998 SERIES
Danny as Ghost King, unfortunately, has to sneak into the Court of Owls' ranks to tear them down and bring them to justice in one move. He didn't really expect the Bats to be there.
The Adventures Of Big Talon And Little Talon. T SERIES
Jason would like a one Talon please. No, not the Other Talon. He wants the Little Talon. The one with yellow green eyes. The short one. You know the one that chirps. No, he's not turning into his Father, he swears. Little Talon doesn't know what he wants but he knows this new Big Talon is good.
Remember, Remember(To Think Before You Jump) NR SERIES
Danny is a failed clone from the Court of Owls, and was sent away and miraculously(lol) got adopted by the Fentons. But when something with the portal accident knocks the old memories loose, what will Danny do once he discovers Dick Grayson’s secret? And, through connection and memories, the rest of the Bat’s secret identities?
Dead Man Walking M 8,384
None of this was Danny's problem— and he's determined to keep it that way, no matter what the cops, the weird dude in full-on themed body armor, or the secret society of rich people hiding in the sewers of Gotham had to say. If he wasn't getting paid for over time and he wasn't on the clock, then what was he supposed to do about it?? Or: Talons, Talons, everywhere, and nary a living Mortician around to clean them up.
The Undead People Won't Stop Coming For Me. T
Danny didn't predicted this happening at all when he became a mortician in gotham. He was just drinking his daily ectoplasm juice after fixing up two dead bodies between preteens and adults only to see them Stand up, staring at him with glowing amber and green eyes staring at his ectoplasm shot drink like hungry vultures. Sighing as he doesn't get paid enough for this as he offer them some... Only for the next 2 weeks, his mortician is filled with other undead, bring more bodies. Meanwhile, the leader of court of owls and league of assassins are starting to noticed a increasing amount of members disappearing..
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Hii!! This is in response to you asking what charles and carlos both did in the vegas gp!
I'm just gonna be completely fully objective here, bc rlly they didn't do anything wrong.
What happened was, a series of radio msgs between the team and Carlos occurred, in which they told him they were going to stay on Plan A (one pit-stop I think) instead of Plan C (2 pit-stops). Carlos argued back, saying they should be pitting and how he wanted to pit right now/ next lap. They said no.
At this point, Lewis is pressuring Carlos, and Charles is behind Lewis. I'm pretty sure george had already pit his second time and was still leading. Max and lando had also pitted a second time.
Anyway, the team finally listen and tell Carlos to come into the pits. However, they mess up and weren't ready and then tell him to stay out. Obv, Carlos is mad now. No matter, they pit him in the next lap.
4 laps later (or 2 I can't exactly recall) they pit Charles. The team tells Carlos not to pressure Charles. The team tells Charles that Carlos won't overtake him. You see where this is heading, don't you.
Charles comes out PARALLEL to Carlos (I think the team thought he'd come out ahead). Carlos' tyres ate 4 laps old. They're heated up. They're faster. Charles has absolutely new, dead, cold tyres. Carlos doesn't pressure him. He simply drives around.
The real dram started after the race when we all saw Charles' radio😭 Honestly, this is just a team problem not a driver problem.
Alot of ppl are saying they would've gotten better results if carlos let Charles ahead— they really wouldn't have. There was no way the ferraris would've caught up to those mercs.
ANYWAYY, there's my most objective views. Maybe, I'm.missing a few things but I'm negl the race was honestly so boring to ACTUALLY watch, like now there's drama but literally nothing was happening apart from this😭
Thank you for this! Cuz this was what I saw during the race and what I thought happened!
I find it frustrating that people are blaming Carlos when it wasn’t Carlos’s fault at all, and I also find it frustrating that people think Charles’s meltdown was wrong. I keep saying this in every post but its clear as day that this was a ferrari problem not the drivers!
Mercedes was on a different level this weekend, they sure as hell were going to be 1-2, no doubt about that. And I get that Charles was trying to get p2 in the driver standings, but… 3-4 for constructors is literally phenomenal? I don’t see how Carlos isn’t a team player when this was the best outcome that could’ve happened. Besides his did better in qualifying anyway.
And I hate people mentioning old races like oh well Carlos moaned about this once… forget the past races, only focus on this one. Ugh, ferrari screwing over their drivers isn’t new but god, as someone who loves Carlos and Charles, I really hate seeing the fans tear each other apart.
Once again, thank you for the explanation!
#cheeto answers#f1#formula 1#formula one#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#charles leclerc#ferrari#anti-ferrari
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Anyways I'm still not over my devil boys. Thinking about all the parallels between them:
Because like, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, right? Draws in and punishes people for trying to be good, trying to *help* those they care about. And whether they succeed or not is irrelevant because in the end they're damned either way. That's the lie, then, that their sacrifice would ever actually change their fate.
And its just: HELL IS LIKE THAT BECAUSE IT’S A REFLECTION OF ITS LORD AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO *HIM*. THAT’S WHAT MADE HIM REAL IN THE FIRST PLACE AND NOW HES STUCK LIKE IT FOREVER!!!
That's what happened to Asmodeus and then he did it to Vespin Chloras and Zerxus and then Zerxus tried to do it with Pike too (in tlovm). It's a never-ending cycle where the one who's burned then becomes the fire for the next person!!! UGHHH
And it all starts with that one act of good intent, that act of sacrifice! Imri throwing himself to the flames, knowing he would burn, to protect his family at the cost of himself. Luz saving him but in the end he chooses to burn anyways, this time out of hate. Zerxus selling his soul to save his son and his world, knowing that damnation would be the end result. Nydas giving him an out, killing him before dawn struck but Zerxus stubbornly, hubristically clinging to life, to his ideals and pride, anyways. Choosing to burn and losing himself entirely in the process.
(Ironically enough Vespin kind of breaks the cycle? Trying to replace a god to remove a great evil from the world and instead damning it in the process. But when given his mind back he takes this chance and stretches it as far as he can, choosing not to be the fire but to give his world a chance at survival. Doing it knowing he will be hated anyways. Learning from his mistake, humbled at the consequences of his hubris where Asmodeus and Zerxus grew proud. Burning for it anyways. I get the sense that if he was given an out he would take it, unlike the other two.)
Love becomes sacrifice becomes resentment becomes hatred. Hatred towards those they sacrificed for because why did it have to be them who burned? Why do they get to be whole while I am broken? How dare they get to have light and love and happiness while I burn in the dark. Why didn't they burn with me? If they really loved me they would burn too!
Hatred towards those who seek to help them, because how dare you pity me. I chose this, I chose to burn! I knew the costs! How dare you spit in the face of my sacrifice! Did it truly mean so little to you that you would wipe away all trace of it!? Trying to heal me, trying to fix me, trying to redeem me, I did this for you! I didn't do anything wrong!
Hatred towards their corrupter, towards their damnation because everything was fine before they came along. Before they ruined everything! It's their fault for breaking it and now I'm going to make them pay for it! It doesn't matter who I hurt because nothing else matters except making sure they regret ever touching me.
Hatred towards themselves because how could someone be so stupid as to try? Love is weakness and sacrifice is for fools and those who throw themselves to the pyre deserve to burn. I'll prove it, to anyone who thinks themselves good and noble and true. Come find out.
And how could they not become resentful, to not have their love turn to hate? It's one thing to choose to burn and another to burn *forever*. A martyr is not supposed to live through the martyrdom, they're supposed to die. Their sacrifice is meant to have an end. They never got to have an end. (Though I will say, its very interesting that Zerxus chose not to die while Asmodeus seemingly *didn't*. He was dying, and the Everlight healed him. Gave him life but took peace with her.)
And the horns too! The symbol of their damnation, of corruption. But they didn’t get it that way, the horns were protection first, before anything. A testament to their love and sacrifice scarred into their flesh, on display for all to see. But that love born of protection is forgotten, both by others and themselves. Twisted into something rotten.
(No wonder Asmodeus is so good at manipulating good. He knows how good people think because that's how he thought, once. He could be so good at being good.)
They're burning. Always. They hate the fire but also, also-- they want to burn. They choose it every time because the alternative is to sacrifice the one thing they cannot, will not--their pride. They would have to be honest to do that, wouldn't they? Honest about the hurt they've caused, honest about how broken they've become. That they do not deserve their fate (that no one does), that while they were burned once they do not need to burn forever. There is always a choice. They'd have to be honest to change and they never will because the Devil sometimes tells the truth he is never honest. He can't be. He won't let himself.
#every time i think im over them the brainrot comes back and suckerpunches me in the face#the devil never sleeps specifically to haunt my every thought#“zerxus was meant to be a paladin of the everlight” nah man. hes a damn funhouse mirror reflection of asmodeus.#critical role#exu calamity#cr downfall#tlovm#tlovm s3#critical role meta#cr meta#cr3#cr asmodeus#asmodeus cr#the lord of the hells#asmodeus the lord of the nine hells#zerxus ilerez#vespin chloras#shelley's overdramatic character analysis
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katy i bet the inside of the bus is cold and lonely when all your friends have left and your opponent proved you wrong and you lost your belt in front of ten thousand people and you’re 2800 miles from home
All things considered, Jack didn't actually think the night could get worse until the bus doors slammed open with enough force to rattle the whole damn carriage beneath, and he's midway through tugging a new shirt one, one arm wiggling to find the right spot, so he's been good and thoroughly proven wrong. His heart flies up into his throat as every fear he's harbored for the past two years screams against his ears, but—
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jack demands.
Darby yanks the doors closed again once he's in, breathing hard and smelling of engine grease and burning motor oil, and then he slides around on his knees. "I gotta fucking hide."
"In my fucking bus?" It's a miracle Jack gets the shirt on after that, but his bones are gonna rattle out of his skin. "What do you mean you have to hide?"
Darby scoots back until his shoulders hit the wall. "They fucking came back."
"Who came back?"
Darby's eyes flicker up past the seat, to the windshield, which at this point, is mostly just reflecting the lamps the staff has on in the loading bay. There's really nowhere else to park this rig, 'cause it never fits into any of the spots, so Jack ends up just sort of angling it near where the big mack trucks unload. "Claudio and Pac."
"Why the fuck would I—" Jack stops and leans in, squinting. "Are you bleeding?"
"No one's gonna look for me here."
Jack huffs. "Yeah, 'cause I hate your guts. Claudio and Pac won't—"
"No, I mean no one will," Darby interrupts, drawing his knees in as his skull falls back and clunks against the metal wall. "There's no one here for you. No one's gonna come here."
And that... Jesus, that steals the air right out of Jack's lungs. Sure, Darby isn't even wrong, but it's far different thinking it and having someone put it to words like that, giving it life. He glares at Darby while the onslaught of all the shit he's spent the last hour trying to put to sea crashes into him, a tidal wave.
He must go silent for long enough that Darby notices, because the guy lifts his chin, regarding Jack a few feet away. "You lost tonight. You lost the belt."
"Yeah, well," Jack mumbles, throat thick. "Happens to everyone eventually."
Darby lifts his finger to his mouth, chewing on the skin near his thumbnail. It's red again; they're all painted red. They simmer in silence while outside, Jack catches the sound of footsteps passing near enough to echo. He doesn't even care if the Death Riders throw the back doors open and haul Darby out by his stupid pink coat, but Jack's breath catches anyway, involuntary.
Neither of them so much as twitches as the sound circles, pauses, and then, by some miracle, recedes again. Jack exhales in a somewhat rushed gasp. "What the fuck, Darby. What did you do?"
"Ran into their truck."
"With your face?"
Darby cracks a smile, and it seems genuine. "Ha. No, dumbass, with a car. What kinda fuckin' question is that?"
Jack shrugs. "Well, you hit the bus bumper with your forehead before, so it seemed like a logical jump."
"You hit my forehead with the bumper."
"Semantics." With the footsteps gone—and Jack doesn't even know if it was them or not, though it really doesn't matter—the tension has siphoned out of the interior. He stretches his legs out, wincing. He's gonna bruise the colors of the rainbow in the next few days. Then he sighs, looking at the red smeared across Darby's skin. "You're bleeding."
"Happens when your head bounces off the dashboard," Darby says.
"God, you're a dumb fuck," Jack grumbles, as he pushes up onto all fours and retrieves the first aid kit. There isn't much, but at least he's got antiseptic wipes. "I don't know how social Darwinism hasn't taken you out yet."
He ends up kneeling sort of half over, half across Darby's legs, and the guy doesn't push him off, so Jack thinks it's awkward, but acceptable. There's a lot more blood than he'd thought up close, so Jack gets started trying to clean up the worst of it streaked across Darby's forehead and temple.
"He was wearing his ring gear," Darby says, apropos of nothing.
"Who?"
"Pac."
Jack shakes his head. "So? What does that matter?"
"Everyone else was fully dressed," Darby says. "But Pac came out in his fuckin' ring gear, the little panties. That means he was riding in the truck the whole time, shirtless, with his fuckin' panties on. Just starin' at the god damn road while they all took their sweet ass time getting here, probably listening to some undecipherable German death metal." Darby's hands spread to either side. "Isn't that fuckin' weird?"
Jack can't help it. He fucking laughs, and he can't tell if he's pissed off about it or not. "You think Marina gave him some tittie-twisters in there while he was just chilling shirtless?"
"Dude, she's scarier than that fuckin' One Piece clown," Darby says, dead serious, "and she probably has nipple clamps in that fucking briefcase chained to her wrist."
And then they're both just gone. Giggling like schoolgirls as both of them try to shush the other one, and the only thing Jack can think about is Pac sitting stoicly in the driver's side of the Death Riders truck that Claudio has the AC blasting in while he's freezing his bare tits off. It's ridiculous. It's only funny because it's not actually funny, on account of the Death Riders doing a fantastic job of running through every person in the company who would tell them that ritualistic murder isn't exactly a great idea for boosting ticket sales if all the talent ends up dead, but Jack can't help it. The overwhelm of adrenaline loss and the hollow sensation sweeping through his stomach and the fact that he did think he was gonna be alone all night... it's too damn much.
It takes awhile for Jack to recognize that they're both just sort of staring at each other through it all; they've never really done this, been this close. Oh, sure, they've had their faces pressed against each other when they were trying to maim each other, but it never felt like this. Never... easy. Comfortable, in a way that shouldn't work at all but does.
Jack drops the hand holding the antiseptic wipe onto his thigh, mirth abruptly stolen. "Why'd you come here? I could have turned you right over to them."
"Yeah, but you didn't," Darby says, and runs his tongue along his bottom lip once, then twice. A bit of the blood must have caught there.
"Could still do it," Jack tries. "Could go out right now, call them back. Let 'em destroy you for the damage to their truck and dignity."
Darby leans forward. "Sure." He doesn't sound concerned, and he's leaning forward, and Jack ought to back away. "You could."
Jack lost the TNT belt tonight. He tried to prove a point, and he was wrong, and he lost the belt anyway. There's no one here to commiserate with because the Bucks fucked off without a good-bye and Okada disappeared in his fancy car. Danny is probably already gloating to the roster backstage with the belt in his hands, and Jack's here, in the back of his bus, kissing a guy he swore up and down he hated more than life itself.
He absolutely should not be doing this—shouldn't be prodding Darby's mouth open, shouldn't be slipping his tongue in across the corner, shouldn't be liking the way Darby sighs against him, the way the exhale echoes through his cheeks. But he lets it go for a little while, long enough for his thoughts to go hazy, before he draws back just enough to ask, "How hard did you hit your head?"
"So goddamn hard, man," Darby says, another laugh buried in there. So at least Darby has an excuse for this. Jack? He's gonna have to hope the defense of I'm experiencing what is probably an acute mental health crisis holds weight in court.
"Kissing me is a concussion symptom, I think," he murmurs.
Darby moves in to catch Jack's lip between his teeth. "Probably."
"Honestly, we should probably both go see medical," Jack whispers, because Darby tugging on his lip is doing way more for him than it should, and if he's going to have a full-on nervous breakdown, he thinks he shouldn't be operating any heavy machinery. It comes out muffled, on account of, well, Darby's mouth getting in the way.
"Okay," Darby groans, and clearly they aren't going to be going anywhere near medical, since Darby's hands slide out to find Jack's waist.
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the thing about "saving people, hunting things" is that one of them thinks of the job as saving people. and the other thinks of it as hunting things. and which one is which, changes, but it's usually dean who saves people and sam who hunts things. which i found surprising when i realized it
#dean: person who saves people#sam: thing who hunts things#(to himself at least)#he is so so so uniquely fucked up#does he believe he's human?#does he trust his own sense of morality?#sometimes it looks like he rewrites his own moral code to justify his actions#if he's wrong anyway then it doesn't matter right#(except of course it does matter. to him most of all)#this is also tied in to dean's overwhelming terror of being non-human#which he projects onto sam#sam also has this fear but it's undercut by the quiet belief that he is already not human#which. to Dean. would mean not a person. to sam it means something different i think#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#wincesties dni#so many sam thoughts#dean i get. sam i cannot comprehend which is why he is so interesting
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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Enjoy these doodles of Dark from A Dark Among the Lights by LuckyLectio (with a bonus Wild!)
#fun fact: when i first drew dark i used the dark tunic from botw/totk as visual reference#but since wild is right-handed (unlike time)#the sheath is technically on the wrong shoulder#it was too late by the time i realized but i figured it didn't matter too much since he never uses the sheath on his back anyway#which has evolved into my headcanon that dark at some point either started mirroring time's image instead of directly copying#or just...straight up doesn't realize that extra belt#is supposed to serve a purpose beyond being part of the outfit#and as such didn't notice that over the years he started wearing it 'wrong'#also i can't decide what color to make his insides since black would be a pain to draw so i'm making it monster gut purple in the meantime#my art#adatl#dark link#lu wild
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#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting “good guys” be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his “angelic state” would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
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hm ok so for a while i was thinking that Wally, for the most part, only perceives reality as "Home", the neighborhood. that's his entire world, it's all he knows
but then i slapped myself and went wait. the Live Interview. Wally has been outside of Home, and has interacted with humans (presuming that the interview did actually happen, of course). and through Wally's interactions - or rather, attempt at interactions with Us, the QA, and the WHRP, it can be strongly assumed that he knows that there's an Elsewhere. there are places outside of Home. maybe he doesn't quite understand that there's another reality of sorts, but there's no way he's unaware that there's more than just the neighborhood out there
(and then of course there's the fact that Clown has said that humans are deeply involved (not a direct quote, im paraphrasing) in Welcome Home. maybe Wally interacted with them / regularly interacted with them. there could have been an adjustment period after he gained consciousness where humans helped him learn how to walk/talk/fine motor skills - this could be why he has such a seemingly inherent / desperate trust in Us & the WHRP & the QA... humans made him and cared for him. it's possible he could view them as a sort of higher power to trust & have faith in
& maybe he's been off-set or could go off-set. i mean, the houses' rooms were all different sets - the buildings themselves were empty husks, right? who's to say Wally wouldn't physically walk to the individual set pieces whenever he went over to someone's house (but then that leads me into speculation on how the puppets' consciousness works and how multiple copies of them could co-exist and wondering which is the - im getting off track. but there's all of that and then the two part "you're okay!" art pieces of Wally & Eddie, which are technically canon - dont quote me on that - and that's Another ramble/theory post i could go on about & have strong feelings on. Anyway!)
"but wait," i hear someone protest, "what about Barnaby? he was in the Live Interview too"
but was he? was he really? was that Barnaby, or was that a person in a suit playing the character Barnaby B. Beagle? i mean, if it was Barnaby, there had to be some memory fuckery going on that prevented him from either fully comprehending/realizing the situation, or just made him forget as soon as it was over.
and actually wait, Wally has to be aware of the reality discrepancy. because it was certainly him in the Interview as himself. He had to have understood on some level that either that wasn't really Barnaby, or that Barnaby wouldn't remember the interview.
(there's a connection in my head between all of this & how he would view an apple pie. "it isn't the same anymore. something's different". but i can't pin it down for the life of me.)
and with the Talking Telephone calls, Wally explicitly tells Us that he's not going to tell anyone who was behind the calls. i remember listening to the "original" prank call audio tests, which while were very similar to the canon in-website ones, have a few changes. one of which was Wally - in the tests - saying that the others weren't ready to meet Us yet. now in canon that tidbit has been swapped out for "You have to go too. You have work to do" but i think it's still implied through Wally's purposeful withholding-of-information that he doesn't think the others are ready to know. or he straight up doesn't want them to know
i mean, one little theory i previously had is that Wally wants them all to catch on to the nature of their reality and situation, but he doesn't want to - or Can't - tell them outright. they have to figure it out. and that can't was either something keeping him quiet, or because if they learned too soon / inorganically, their little puppet heads would pop into confetti like Red Guy's in dhmis 4
However my views have Changed and i'm pretty sure Wally is purposefully not telling anyone to maintain the illusion that everything is fine and can continue on as it always has. maybe it comes from a place of protectiveness, of love? whatever the motive i think he wants them all to keep being unaware and dare i say, Complacent while he "fixes" their situation.
which is delusional, but we all know Wally is digging his metaphorical claws into a desperate bid to keep everything the same / return it to its original state, leaving bloody scratches in something already rotted. or something like that!
all this to say i think it's interesting how it seems that he's the only one aware of humans / an outside/other world, yet he's so determined to stay in his lane. he wants connection & communication yet he doesn't want to leave or change. he wants help in keeping things the same (some could say in keeping Our reality & his separated) but in the process he's dooming everyone/everything and tearing down those walls himself
(Wally: i'm going to stay where i am, and you're gonna stay where you are, and we're gonna help each other keep me and my friends where we're meant to be. anyway i wonder what this sledgehammer does)
#this is a very disjointed ramble but when are they ever put together!#i have to start at point a to get to point 36 yk yk#trying to write down my thoughts is like trying to keep a firm grip on a lubed up ferret#SOAPED!!! SOAPED UP!!! I MEANT SOAP yk that doesnt make it any better. anyway moving on dont look at me#its. its. the more i think about wally the more i go insane#like he's got neurosis stacked on neurosis stacked on-#there is something soooo wrong with him <3#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#i do think his heart is in the right place. i do think he's trying to achieve something he thinks is good & best for everyone#but... despite being aware of more than his friends... technically knowing more Truth than them#he's more trapped by that knowledge. he's ruled by it. and he doesn't really have the -#i dont want to say capacity bc i have to believe that he Can change. he just doesnt know how / currently doesnt want to / is too scared to#but he doesn't have the freedom the others have. bc in their ignorance they can ignore their confines#in a way they're more real than wally despite living in a fabricated world as fabricated people with fabricated lives#they're authentic in their ignorance#and ive said it before and ill say it again - wally was created as a blank slate while everyone else already had a Foundation#no matter how false their memories are they Have them. they have the tools to change and want change#they already perceive themselves as more than what they were made for. they think they're People (not humans - people) dont they?#so if they learn theyre trapped... they'll want out. meanwhile wally is already stuck bc while they have - in a way - More#the neighborhood & the show are all wally has. he knows there's outside but he doesnt have any reason to Want that outside#bc why would he want to leave home? why would he want anything to change? it's his sole purpose isnt it?#idk i just think wally would benefit from being told 'you dont need a purpose / you dont need to adhere to a purpose / you are enough as Yo#doing what You want. you can just Be'#but yk. what was i talking about again#oh yeah - wally is so so aware and yet so in the dark#he's got one half of the puzzle but they're all corner/edge pieces and he's trying to fill the inside space with Nothing#hm. i wonder if he'll end up needing the other neighbors to help finish the puzzle... who's to say who's to say!!#FUCK YOU TUMBLR I HAD MORE TO SAY. CUT OFF AGAIN AGH
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What if the way Mango learns is that Dark tells him? And thinks it a normal thing to admit to? Like "oh yeah, I turned my creator into a stick figure so I could kill him, and I also stabbed the kids he adopted in front of him because I wanted to suffer as much as possible. Apparently they all ended up getting brought back though." Or something along those lines where it is clear who he's talking about.
MAN. i feel like King would just break from being told that casually.
#'yeah so i killed everyone! and uh. the other creation he made me laser-beamed me to the edge of death which is why i look like this.'#'...what's that look about. why are you looking at me like that' “...what is WRONG with you?”#tommy's stickmen tag#if king asks why they did it they just kind of shrug and say 'it just happened'#they have a lot of different excuses. 'they just happened to be in the way.' 'they wouldn't have been happy around alan anyway'.#'it doesn't matter when they came back anyway.' 'alan deserved it. it doesn't matter.'#and i feel like it does get to them slowly as they realize how much Chosen and SC hate them for it#as well as the fact that they scared not only king but also CHOSEN#but they're pretty deep into their status as a murderous criminal and would be deeper if Chosen didn't keep stopping them every time#it's easier to pretend they're right#in truth they're really not sure what they want anymore#especially not when they realize they're still scared of alan
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sometimes I think about the fact that bacta lost his virginity to tryst's sister. who looks enough like him that they easily pass for each other when they swap clothes. *touches ground gingerly* something psychosexual happened here. (good for rendezvous honestly it isn't her fault her brother is too emotionally dense and/or dysfunctional to get in there.) and then the next morning he found out the first person he was ever in love with probably isn't dead after all and never contacted him. it's a lot, to be a bacta in this world. single father despite having three co-parents, harried husband and grieving widower who's never once been married but is sometimes for sure divorced, teenage boy at his first real party, 'as your doctor I feel compelled to point out -- okay, that's, you're doing it anyway, sure, why not ', haunted veteran at the tender age of 17, owner of what must be the most common face across the galaxy, parentified oldest sibling despite being the youngest adult on the crew, sole qualified clipboard holder....... he's somehow doing it all at the same time and he's doing it on phindar, while making cupcakes
#'I have lived with a valentine for five years' he says in the voice of a man desperately trying to make this marriage work by will alone#campaign star wars#bacta#bactatryst#is that the ship name? I feel like I've seen that around it seems right#I feel so free in terms of campaign star wars ships honestly it's the only taste I've ever had of the peace of being a multishipper#zeblue is way too intense and weird and fucked up for me to wish it on anyone else to get involved in that (affectionate) but otherwise...#it's all good baby. no wrong answers here. is this why multishippers seem so chill you guys have escaped samsara I guess#anyway I love bacta with my whole heart. he tries so hard and it matters so much#even when it doesn't matter at all it matters so much#rendezvous looked at mr bacta 'black widow' mynock and was like 'that sign can't stop me I'm a valentine I can't read' and she was RIGHT TO
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my father is an olympic gold medalist in the sport of emotionally tormenting women
#bolo speaks#I've had him blocked on everything for the past two years because I was one of the women he terrorizes even when I was still a girl#but I'm only able to do that because *other* women in my family are on the frontlines dealing with him. which I am keenly aware of.#anyway I got a message from my grandma asking if I was mad at her because he'd been saying that I hated her (untrue and bizarre to boot#like just factually a man I haven't been on speaking terms with since I was seventeen has no leg to stand on whatsoever wrt to what I have#going on emotionally or in my relationships. but he's nothing if not adept at digging into people's worst insecurities so I get why she'd#be bothered)#and he has a new girlfriend now who I haven't met but who he treats the way he treated my mother before they separated#going into drunk rages breaking her things degrading her etc. and *her* family encourages her to ignore it because he's got money#and I don't know. I don't know my dad's girlfriend I've never met her but I am intimately aware of just how horribly#he treats every woman in his life. anyway [NAME] if you're reading this GET OUT ‼️#and the worst part is that he is like. a genuine shameless misogynist like he'd go on these crazy rants about#how women are just vaginas and we're all stupid and hysterical anyway so it doesn't matter if me and mom are scared of him#because we're just dumb women. which has naturally torched his bridges with me and every other woman in our family right.#and his takeaway from that is that he's *right* and being put-upon by all these irrational harpies for no valid reason.#my dad voice: are women scared of me because I'm violent and unpredictable? no. it's those stupid bitches that are wrong.
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so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!
#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency#adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid#then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!!#everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others#rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you#make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing#or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult#yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred#like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn#so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you#anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds#so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask#like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and#his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking#doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie#and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it#(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me!#and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead!#and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is.#but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’#like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid#who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it.#i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow#anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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just now realising that it's kinda weird that every damn thing I did as a kid, even accidentally, still gets dragged out all the time as proof of how mean and bossy I was.
meanwhile one of my brothers stabbed my other brother with a screwdriver and it's just so funny. one of them jumped on my back when we were fighting and hurt me so bad that I couldn't get up for an hour (and I got yelled at). one of them broke someone else's property on purpose and it's just a funny anecdote about how he and his friend had to pay for the damage. they stole cash and very expensive alcohol, so funny and cute. they got drunk all the time and started smoking at 12.
which is all fine. people do stupid things as kids. but it sucks that I'm always the difficult one, the one that causes trouble, the mean one. the worst thing I ever did was drop out of school because I was too terrified and depressed to keep going. this is somehow proof that I was such a difficult child to raise, so hard to be around. not that my parents completely failed me in every way, or anything like that.
my brother attacked me this year. but that's totally excusable because surely he had his reasons (yeah, I disagreed with him and wouldn't back down. great.) and I probably just misunderstood (how?!) and anyway it wasn't really that bad. he yelled at me for daring to disagree with him, insulted me and then grabbed me when I told him to get out. but he's just having a hard time and can't express his feelings well and can't I just forgive him?
but I'm bad for things I did when I was 15 or 10 or 5 or literally a baby. I'm bad for things that never happened. I'm bad for things that other people did. I'm just bad.
#yes I am still bitter about this stuff#I wouldn't be. but they keep bringing it up#I'm so tired of not being able to do anything right#I've been so nice and patient and always friendly for literally. 10 years. a third of my life. I try so hard to not upset them or do#anything wrong#but my mother still says my brothers are scared of me#and uses things against me that I did in primary school#ugh#anyway#I'm having a hard time and keep thinking about this today#I'm just so tired of it#I can't even defend myself#because that gets turned into you can't take a joke and we're just joking around and why are you so angry#I raise my voice slightly to be fucking HEARD and I'm hysterical#my brother screams at me and he's just not good at talking about his feelings#it all feels so unfair#it doesn't matter what I do or who I am. I've been the bad one since my brother was born and I'm so tired#personal
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