#if he was in it any more he might have got in this list
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A. Removing my name because some of you can't behave 😁
B. I don't remember my wings that well, but definitely closer to a lighter shade. Perhaps bronze or sandy brown
C. I was a lower ranking angel, tasked with observing humanity. Not intervening
D. See above
E. I didn't fall, I reincarnated to earth as a human being and I still consider my species to be an angel
F. I remember being in a beautiful garden at some point. My mind felt light and airy, and I "felt" things around me with spatial awareness instead of objectively viewing it. If you asked me to describe a single plant or creature in this garden I wouldn't be able to.
G. I resonate with the element fire because I was born in December. My dad was sick with cancer when I was born, and they told him he might not live. After I was born, he got better. I always attach this to the transformative power of fire, and my angelic abilities are still attached to me in utero.
H. I'm a biblical angel, so I guess more likely the Christian god. I don't remember him though, just a faint memory of Him being present.
I. I feel I became confined to earth after observing humans for so long. I think at some point I wanted to be involved more than I was, so I decided to join.
K. The advantage of being an angel on earth really depends on your definition of an advantage. My definition is having more freedom, being able to touch, see and experience the world like a proper mammal rather than like a divine being. You miss out on a lot when you lack the 5 senses.
L. A disadvantage. There are many. When you're an angel, you don't get tired, you don't need to go to the bathroom, you don't need to eat. Suddenly all these things that make you human become an exhausting task that you have to be involved in, all the time. There are more, but I want to keep this short.
M. I was around during the holy war. The crusade before crusades. I remember a few angels starting to feel less angelic over time, and it was like a ripple effect amongst the loyal. Suddenly, the side I was on with my brother Michael felt less and less like the winning side, and more like the side you pick when there's no better option. I desired the same freedoms as the other side but I suppose I was too cowardly to take it.
N. No one around me knows my identity. I feel like it's unnecessary to tell anyone. I can never go back to what I was. The best thing I can do is live my life as heavenly as I can in my current life.
O. Funnily enough, I started suspecting i was something more at a very young age. I didn't know quite what. I remember having mental shifts in the church growing up, and having visions about winged creatures when I was around 10. I discovered angels outside of the Bible and for the first time I felt like these things were the best thing I could use to describe myself.
P. Lol. I was hoping this question would come up. O fortuna is at the top of my list. It always gives me chills. Any songs in Latin or slavic-based languages always makes me go into mental shifts.
Q. To feel angelic, I watch movies with angels in them, read books with angels in them, exercise and ride my bike to just feel the wind against my face. I go to the park with a long black coat on and listen to music, and just watch people. Sometimes I talk to them, but not often because I can be quite introverted.
R. See above. I also veil on occasion, especially when I'm around religious buildings or graveyards or when meditating. (I do not pray to the Christian god)
S. I'm not repelled by religious buildings. I'm also not attracted to them. But when I step inside a place that has been cleansed, anointed or used for worship, I can get mental shifts and my vibration raises to the point that I believe that religious figures and children can feel.
T. Good question. Unfortunately I don't know what my halo looked like. I'm assuming it was closer to light than a physical object, maybe light that my divinity gave off. Like a rainbow spectrum or pure white. 🤷♀️ no clue.
U. If I did, I don't remember.
V. Not prophetic dreams, but I've had vivid dreams and nightmares about snakes, naked human beings, violence, starvation and fire. I have had many dreams of what I believe to be pre-flood events on earth, where animosity & disbelief became more rampant between Him and humans.
W. Nope
X. Anywhere that has a beautiful garden. I also like fountains, aquariums, the forest and jungle
Y. Nope
X. I remember being in Europe at some point. I don't know exactly where, I just remember hearing some francophone language being spoken, and there was a lot of political unrest. Unfortunately, the details were never that important to anyone, and as I've mentioned before, I didn't see things the same way as an angel as I do now. My best guess would be middle ages or less. They seemed to be very complicated with the Catholic church back then.
I hope you enjoyed my answers as much as i enjoyed answering them
Angelic Ask Meme
I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while…send some to my ask, and feel free to reblog!
A-what is your angelic name? B-what did your wings look like? C-what are you an angel of? D-what order or rank of angel are you? E-did you fall? If so, why? F-describe a random angelic memory G-what element/s do you align with? H-do you remember or follow any gods? I-do you know or suspect why you are earthbound? J-what other angels were you close to? K-an advantage to being an angel on earth? L-a disadvantage to being an angel on earth? M-were you around during the war? If so, what side were you on? N-does anyone irl know you’re an angel? O-how long have you known you’re Angelic? P-what is a song that reminds you of being angelic, or of an angelic memory? Q-what is something you do to feel angelic? R-have anything you wear that makes you feel like your angelic self? S-are you attracted to places of worship, or repelled by them? T-what did your halo look like? U-any angels you had a rivalry with? V-ever have any prophetic dreams, or things like that? W-are you an empath/psychic/medium/etc? X-any places on earth that remind you of home? Y-ever had irl contact with other divines in this life? Z-have any past earthbound life memories?
#angelkin#otherkin#fallen angelkin#alterhuman#angels#divinekin#uttering hymns#lgbtqia#tumblr milestone#demonkin#fallen angel
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do you think that lighter would have like any embarrassing fetishes like an armpit fetish or like a belly bulge kink or sm? just needed to share that thought rq
Mdni
Idk what you classify as embarrassing, but I know he’s got plenty of fetishes. I’ll list some of the ones I personally think he’d find humiliating.
Firstly, yes he has a belly bulge kink, duh. He’s so big it pretty much comes with the territory. There’s just something about being able to see himself through your skin as his dick presses up and pokes out through your belly. It’s so hot. You’re so small compared to him, but you take him so well. He also likes it when you’re so stuffed full of his cum that your lower abdomen is literally extended from it. He can press down against it and you’ll gush — that’s what heaven looks like for Lighter.
He’s probably got some kind of breeding kink. It’s less about having a baby or getting you pregnant (if you can even get pregnant to start), and more about the trust that comes with it. It’s weirdly heartwarming to him that you trust him enough to let him fuck you raw and cum inside. Also feeds into the previous kink as well.
He’s big into cock and ball torture but you’ll never get it out of him. You’ll have to find out on accident somehow, and once you do it’s pretty much over for him. Cock cages are his personal favorite, being held back from cumming by having his dick physically restricted is thrilling to him. He’s also lowkey into sounding, though that one is more touch and go depending on the day.
I didn’t know this fetish had a name but CFNM (clothed female naked male). He likes it when you’re fully clothed and when he’s bottoming, essentially. It’s rare you’re in a position of power over him, but fuck does it get him going when you’ve got him naked and tied up and whimpering for you while all the good stuff is hidden from him. Power play is bottom Lighters bread and butter.
He’s into seeing you in leather, any kind of leather. Preferably something of his but it doesn’t have to be. There’s something about you in the rough rugged fabric that really turns some gears in the hopeless head of his. He likes the sensation of it under his hands, and it’s especially nice when he’s fucking into you. Just an added stimulation that looks super fucking good on your already perfect body.
Last one is that he really likes edging on himself. He’s too sweet to edge you (more like he’s too eager) when he tops, but if you edge him it’s a whole different story. It’s painful and awful but god the satisfied smirk on your face makes it so worth it. Especially when you finally let him come, it feels so much better when he’s overstimulated and crying like a baby. Just be careful not to take it too far, he might get impatient and turn it around on you. He’s strong enough to break just about anything you tie him up in.
Essentially… Lighters embarrassed of being a bottom 💀 It really harshes his whole vibe he’s got going. Like imagine how much respect he’d lose from people if they found out he cries when you don’t let him come. He can’t have that getting out 😭
#bunni's treats 🧁#lighter lorenz#zzz lighter lorenz x reader#lighter lorenz x reader#zzz lighter x reader#lighter zzz x reader#zzz lighter#lighter zzz#lighter x reader#lighter
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Cabin Fever - Pt. 3 // LH44
Lewis Hamilton x Y/N
Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Angst, Lewis being an ass, allusions to mental health struggles, 18+ MINORS DNI, not edited
Word Count: 5.3k+
Summary: He's your Sister in Laws best friend, you shouldn't even have to deal with him. Always seeming like a cocky arrogant prick, and now here he is crashing your family Christmas. Can you handle a full week of Lewis Hamilton? Or might he not actually be as bad as he seems?
Notes: A bit more drama for you guys tonight but this is nothing compared to what we've got coming up, oopsie lol. Hoping to get the next part out quickly so it kinda aligns with the holidays in real time! I would also formally like to start an important conversation about why the hell this man only seems to own winter jackets the color of a highlighter (im sure it's for safety when snowboarding but pls). I love you all and I'm so happy you guys are enjoying our angsty little Christmas fic!
As always, I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy!
**italics are a jump back in time**
The moment you make your way downstairs the next morning you are ready to turn and run back up to your room. You can hear everyone in the kitchen already, much to your surprise. Their voices are much louder than you would have wanted but you carry on, aware that the only way you’re getting coffee is by showing your face in there.
“Well good morning sleepy head! I was wondering when you’d show up.” Your dad greets you warmly.
“Hey I was up long before any of you yesterday.” You argue as he pulls you into a side hug.
“I do believe I was up before you.” Lewis pipes up with a smirk.
“Yeah yeah, whatever,” You grumble, trying to conceal the roll of your eyes but when you meet Lewis’ gaze you know you’ve failed, “I need coffee, lots of it.”
Tom laughs from over at the coffee bar where he seems to be making himself some sort of fancy espresso, “Coming right up.”
You thank him, taking a seat next to your brother at the island, watching the chaos ensuing on the other side of the kitchen. Your mother, Beatrice, and Vanessa are in what seems to be party planning mode. They’re rummaging through cupboards and running back and forth to the fridge, Vanessa has a notebook out creating some sort of list, Beatrice is loudly reading some recipe from her phone.
“How long has this been going on?” You ask the men at the counter, trying to keep your voice low.
“About twenty minutes, they’ve probably got another twenty in them.” Lewis says, picking up his coffee and watching the scene himself.
You let out a deep breath, already exhausted by the amount of energy flowing through the room, praying you don’t somehow get sucked into it as well.
“Y/N, thank goodness you’re up!” Vanessa says excitedly, finally noticing your presence on one of her trips around the kitchen.
“Good Morning.” You respond softly, trying not to allow any chance of being roped into whatever is going on.
“So,” Vanessa's voice comes out chipper and matter of fact as she puts her palms down on the counter, evidently ready to give you the full run down, “I felt so bad yesterday, I had so many things planned for a fancy breakfast and the weather just had to ruin it all so I really want to make up for all of it today. Thank you again for pulling that off yesterday, I was so grateful, but I want a big fancy family brunch, we haven't had one in so so long and I’ve been thinking about it since I started planning this trip. And I don’t want it to be our Christmas morning brunch, I want it to be its own special moment, ya know?”
You can tell that your eyebrows have gotten higher on your forehead with every word that she has said, speaking faster than you could ever comprehend at the early hour. You hear your brother take a deep breath from next to you as Lewis chuckles lowly.
“I’m sure it will be wonderful, very talented ladies doing the cooking.” Tom tells his daughter before setting a delicious smelling cup of coffee down in front of you, “Here you go Y/N.”
“Thank you, it smells fantastic.” You say sincerely, happily wrapping your chilly hands around the warm cup.
“It better, I brought my own beans and everything. That should be the best cup of coffee you’ve had in your life.” He tells you proudly.
“It was a phenomenal cup of coffee.” Lewis says with an amused smile on his face, one that Tom seems to read as more genuine than you think it really is.
“Very good, very very good.” Dylan is quickly agreeing.
“Now listen,” Vanessa’s voice is quick to grab your attention again, “you did such an amazing job yesterday with breakfast and then helping with all the storm cleanup,”
Before she can finish Lewis lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a scoff, cutting her off, “I don’t know if I would call whatever she was doing yesterday helping.” His voice is muffled by the rim of his coffee mug but you can hear the cheek to his voice, more teasing than the jabby tone it usually carries for you, you assume it's because of the current company.
You open your mouth to defend yourself but your brother is joining in quickly, “I mean she made a valiant effort but I do think I have to agree with Lewis on this one.” He’s laughing as he pinches at your side.
You try to find the right words to argue your defense but you realize you really can’t, thinking back to your ways of helping the day before.
You had started strong, initially heading out after breakfast to try to clean up all the branches that had been blown into the yard, that lasted for only twenty minutes before Lewis and Dylan were getting the plow and skidoo out of the garage. Once the big toys were out you had no more interest in your handheld rake and shovel. You had gone over to inspect the new fun equipment but were quickly shooed away by both Lewis and your brother, both claiming you were going to get in the way and possibly end up hurting yourself. You had accepted defeat, heading back to your sad pile of branches before once again getting quite distracted by the fun sound of the engine on the skidoo. You had done your best to act as if you were still working but you had ended up watching Lewis zip around the yard for much longer than you would have liked to admit. There was something about his level of both control and chaos behind the handlebars that scratched your brain just right and it irked you and brought you immense satisfaction all at once. Once your brother had gotten into the swing of plowing, Lewis following him down the hill to keep Vanessa's mind at ease, you had gotten back to your sad attempt at branch removal, by the time they made it back up to the house you were collecting your armful.
“Y/N you do know that it’s been a full hour and you don’t even have enough sticks to make a mouse a campfire, right?” Lewis had taunted you when he saw you walking across the driveway as he removed his goggles, your brother laughing as he hopped out of the plow.
“Oh fuck off, at least I was doing something, you were just joyriding.” You said sassily, quickly changing course so you weren’t walking directly past him.
“I,” He started, his voice long and drawn out to dramatically make his point, “was keeping your brother safe. The buddy system is very important, you know.”
“A knight in shining,” You started to say but before you could get the whole sentence out you were falling flat on your ass, your abysmal stick pile flying everywhere.
“Woah Y/N, shit you alright?” Your brother was quick to react, leaving his open truck door to run over to you.
“You’ve gotta be kidding.” Lewis huffed out, also quickly making his way over to you.
They had both been there within an instant, squatting next to you to make sure you were alright. Your brother was handling you like fine china even though he could tell you were okay, Lewis however was immediately giving you shit.
“You do realize we’ve been here for like twelve hours and this is the second time you’ve fallen in front of me, right?” The tone of his voice was unamused despite offering you his hand to help pull you up.
“I did not fall last night.” You had tried to defend yourself as he got you to your feet, your brother still giving you a worried look like he thought you had secretly broken something.
“Because I caught you.” He had quickly pointed out.
“Whatever.” You grumbled as you bent down to collect your stick pile, admittedly leaving a good half of them behind before once again heading toward your brother's brush pile off by the shed. Before you could even make it half way, a very well aimed snowball was colliding with your ass cheek, once again knocking the sticks out of your arms.
“I am going to fucking kill you.’ You had exclaimed loudly, quickly gathering a large armload of snow to form into your own snowball before turning around and whipping it in their direction. You ended up hitting your brother, immediately feeling a little bad because you assumed it had come from Lewis in the first place. Lewis let out a cackle when the snowball hit your brother, evidently pleased that he hadn’t been the one to get in trouble.
“Oh hell no, that was meant for you.” Dylan had said, also laughing but incredibly serious, his own snowball already being packed tightly to whip at Lewis. Much to your pleasure, Dylan was much closer to Lewis and was much stronger than you so you could tell the impact didn’t feel amazing when it finally slapped into his chest.
“I just thought you should put some ice on it after that fall, I was trying to be helpful.” Lewis laughed as he put his arms up to guard himself from any further snowballs being sent his way. You and your brother exchanged a look, both of you loading up again, hurling snow in Lewis’ direction.
He screamed as he turned to run, his snow gear making him much less agile than he would normally be. He had finally found steady footing, his own snowballs being sent in both of your directions, all three of you in a fit of laughter. Somewhere along the line your alliance with your brother had crumbled, his snowballs being sent your way as well, no longer reserved for just Lewis. By the time you finally called truce you had all been absolutely soaked, your stomachs hurting from laughing so hard and your pile of sticks long forgotten. When you made your way back to the house you had found yourself very surprised at how playful and fun that time with Lewis had been but you decided that it must have been a bit of a fluke, knowing it wouldn’t last the rest of the day.
You try to think of a way to argue your defense but you have to admit to yourself that you really can’t, you truthfully didn’t do any actual storm cleanup yesterday.
“It’s the thought that counts, I tried.” You grumble into your mug as the two men laugh.
“Well, either way, you absolutely slayed it with breakfast and putting up with them,” Vanessa gives you a smirk, trying to take away their ammunition, “so I want you to just relax this morning, Moms and I will take care of all things brunch, you just enjoy the pretty scenery and your amazing coffee.”
You smile at her, mouthing a thank you, grateful that you are not expected to be part of the brunch circus that is unfolding in the kitchen before you. Your mother and Beatrice are still frantically figuring out if they have everything for some recipe that they have selected. You sit back, watching as Vanessa returns to her chaos with your mothers, seeming weirdly at home within it. Tom and your father begin loudly discussing just where Tom is sourcing his coffee beans, raising the volume of the kitchen just that much more. You go to turn to your brother, only to find him standing from his seat to rinse out his coffee cup. Lewis is grabbing his phone and eagerly taking a call, leaving the room rapidly. You let out a sigh, choosing to make your way into the den with your coffee, hoping for some level of peace in there. The room is cozy, a fire already going and a light snow falling outside the large windows. You try to settle into one of the plush couches but as you sit there you feel yourself growing more and more aggravated. On one side you can hear your family in the kitchen, all talking loudly about different subjects that don’t even meld together into anything coherent, on the other side you can hear Lewis’ muffled voice on the phone. You can’t actually make out anything that he’s speaking about but the low timbre is enough to be disruptive. You find it hard to believe that in a house of this size you can’t find any silence, yet here you are, you shouldn’t be shocked with it being your family. You decide you can only take so much and come to the conclusion that you would rather be out in the cold and quiet than in here with the chatter. You take your coffee and head off to the foyer to find your winter gear to bundle up, the better idea of just going to your room nowhere to be seen in your head. You get as cozy as possible, grabbing a blanket out of the den before heading back to the kitchen.
“I think I’m just gonna go sit out back for a little while and appreciate the view while I have my coffee.” You awkwardly announce as you make your way to the backdoor, raising your blanket in your hand as you do.
“That sounds absolutely lovely, enjoy yourself!” Beatrice exclaims, overly enthusiastic about your plans.
When you first step out of the house you begin to question your plans, the cold air immediately hitting your face and wrapping you in an unforgiving cocoon, but the moment the door closes behind you, you’re at peace. The door seals your family and their loud chatter away wonderfully, just the gentle howl of the wind and small noises of things falling in the forest left to be heard. You make your way across the covered deck, settling into one of the luxurious outdoor couches overlooking the large backyard and forest. You snuggle as far as possible into your blanket, trying to keep as much of your body heat as possible. You can feel a deep sigh leave your body as you take in your surroundings, admitting to yourself that as much as you hate winter, you do love the beauty of the blanketing of snow. You sit in silence for a while, just sipping your coffee and enjoying the peaceful way the world is waking up, the snow falling gently. It sadly doesn’t take long for your silence to be interrupted, the door opening behind you. You let out a huff when you see who is making their way outdoors.
“Ocupado.” You say sassily as you turn your attention back out to the view in front of you.
Lewis just scoffs, making his way over to sit on one of the couches near you.
“Seriously, I just need some silence. Do you have nowhere else to go?” You groan childishly, seeing him settling into his seat.
“I let you get warm in front of my fire yesterday, I think you can share the silence of your deck with me now.” He says, his voice just as sassy.
You go to argue with him, wanting to tell him that it’s not the same and his fire was in the den, a common area, but you quickly realize that this too is a common area that you have no monopoly over. You decide to bite your tongue, rolling your eyes as he settles deeper into the couch, pulling his phone out. You decide to do the same, feeling awkward staring into the trees now that you have company. It doesn’t take long before the first post from a friend is popping up on your feed. She is back in California, a small party dress on that would have you getting hypothermia here. The post is about a party that you had known would be happening, a fun Christmas get together with a bunch of your friends that you would have loved to have been at, carefree and ridiculous fun. You let out a huff as you scroll through her post, the fomo eating you alive as you do so.
“Thought you wanted silence.” Lewis grumbles from his spot at the sound of your huff, his voice already laced with annoyance.
“So sorry to disturb you, your highness.” You fire back at him sarcastically.
“It’s just sir, I’m a knight, not technically royalty.” He replies, his voice so cocky that it makes you want to smack him, only stopping when you see the slightly teasing smirk on his face.
You roll your eyes again, not even having the energy to come up with something witty to say back to him in the moment.
“Seriously though, what’s got you in such a mood?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious, much to your surprise.
“I’m not in a mood.” You mutter, burrowing further into your blanket, your attention back on your phone.
He lets out a chuckle at your response, “Yeah the huffing and puffing really sells that narrative well.”
“Oh shut up, you know I don’t particularly want to be here, just let it go.” You say quietly, not wanting your family to hear your disdain for your surroundings.
“I know, and me being here probably isn’t helping that, but it seemed like there was something else going on. Thought you saw something that was upsetting you.” He says casually, shrugging like it’s a normal conversation for the two of you to be having.
You’re taken aback by his casual and genuinely curious nature, not being used to anything like this from Lewis. It takes your guard down, quicker than it should. You let out a sigh, deciding, against your better judgement, to confide in him a little bit. You know he could come back with some level of snippy remark but you were prepared for that, maybe he would actually have a normal conversation with you for once.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but seeing everyone enjoying their lives as adults and doing what they want, where they want, I don’t know, it’s just driving me a bit insane.” You divulge, not getting your point across in quite the way you meant to.
He raises an eyebrow at you, evidently rather confused by what you mean, “I mean, you’re an adult, you spend 99% of the year doing what you want, where you want. What’s the problem?”
You just shake your head, deciding to instead show him the post that caused the initial huff. You watch as his brows furrow while he scrolls through the instagram post you handed him. Quickly his face turns from curious to judgemental. It’s his turn to roll his eyes as he finally hands you your phone back.
“So you’d rather be back in the smog of LA where you can’t even tell it’s Christmas, dressed in a skimpy dress with your friends? You’d prefer that to fresh mountain air, a white Christmas, and your family that loves you?” His tone is belittling as he reads the situation completely incorrectly, his questions coming out more as statements, as if nothing that you say now will change his mind.
Your jaw drops at the accusation, a loud scoff leaving your throat as you snatch your phone back from him, “How dare you, that was not the point I was trying to make.” You begin to argue before he’s cutting you off.
“You see those people all the time Y/N, how often do you see any of your family?” He raises his brow in challenge but doesn’t give you time to formulate a response before he’s carrying on, “We all know you don’t want to be here, just suck it up, a little bit of winter mountain air and family time isn’t going to kill you.” He doesn’t wait for a rebuttal, he just stands from his seat as if he’s just finished reprimanding a child and walks away, back inside.
He leaves you in your seat, silent and fuming but also leaving you feeling a tad guilty. He is correct, you don’t want to be here, but it has nothing to do with you preferring to be out in a skimpy dress in LA, it’s about your freedom. Having the freedom to do as you please and be where you want, something you haven’t had a ton of in your life. You hate that everyone knows that you would prefer to be somewhere else, making you feel as if you’re almost a burden. You hate that Lewis feels that he has the right to make such deep assumptions about you and treat them as fact and you hate even more that he feels he has the right to lecture you based on those assumptions.
You end up staying out on the back deck much longer than you had originally planned, only finally making your way back indoors when Vanessa announces that brunch is served. You do your best to ignore him, not even looking in his direction. Instead you spend most of brunch quizzing Vanessa on things about her brunch that in all honesty you aren’t particularly interested in, but listening to Vanessa explain how he gets her eggs to fluffy is much better than having to even think about dealing with the man sitting at the other end of the table.
It irks you that you can hear him chatting so freely and happily down the table, as if he hadn’t accosted you on the porch mere hours beforehand. You find yourself already making a plan for escape before you’ve even cleared your plate.
Avoiding him throughout the rest of the day ends up being shockingly easy. You take an extra long time getting ready before helping Vanessa and your mom with some last minute gift wrapping. You can’t help but laugh when you see that Vanessa's “last minute stuff” actually appears to be a majority of her gifts, but you don’t complain, knowing it will take up more of your time, and in turn help in your game of avoidance. You can hear Lewis chatting off in the distance, your father quizzing him eagerly on his car collection after hearing he added something new. Lewis gushed with ease, thoroughly entertaining your fathers questions and while it could be considered a nice conversation you felt like it sounded arrogant, flashy.
“Boys and their toys.” Your mom muttered with a laugh, also listening to bits of the conversation, your father now seemingly showing Lewis photos of a car he had back in the nineties.
“Tell me about it, I couldn’t for the life of me get Dylan out of that plow truck when we first bought it and the snow hadn’t even fallen yet.” Vanessa exclaims, shaking her head.
You just laugh as you lean back to stare out the window for a moment, admiring the way the world is beginning to turn blue as the sun goes down. As if he’s noticed it getting dark at the very same moment, Dylan is bursting into the room talking about Christmas lights.
“Get out, we are not finished in here Mr.” Vanessa is quickly squealing, throwing her body in front of the few remaining unwrapped gifts.
“Okay, okay,” Dylan laughs, throwing his hand over his eyes before continuing, “What I was saying is the lights in the forest look like they stayed up through the storm! It’s getting dark so I was hoping we could all take a walk out there, it’ll be beautiful.”
“That sounds nice Dyl, give us just a little time to get ready.” You say softly, eager to see the lights that have your brother so excited.
“Sweet, I’ll go let the guys know.” He says like a little kid, whipping around to go inform them of the new plans.
“He made an absolute wonderland out there, you guys are going to love it.” Vanessa says, already standing up to collect the remaining wrapping paper, shoving things away like she’s now on a time crunch.
You take that as your sign to go change and get ready for a winter walk. When you go to head upstairs you finally cross paths with Lewis who seems to be headed to his own room, you pause for a moment before flicking your gaze away and trying to move past him.
“Joining us on the walk?” He asks, his voice cold, sounding like he’s expectant of a no.
“Uh, yeah, of course.” You waver slightly, caught off guard that he had any words for you at all. You wished your voice had come out stronger, not wanting him to feel like he had any sort of upperhand, that he had gotten under your skin.
He does actually look surprised, his eyebrows twitching up in a certain judgemental look of disbelief before he is once again turning on his heel. He doesn’t say a word, just walks away to his bedroom.
When you make your way back downstairs, everyone is there and waiting. Dylan is animatedly explaining how he set up with power for the lights and how they follow all of the groomed paths in a certain pattern. Once he notices that you’re there he is directing everyone to follow him to the back yard, still explaining his tree lighting process on the way. You can’t help the grimace that leaves your body when you step outside, the temperature having dropped drastically since you were out here earlier. You try to just burrow further into your coat, not wanting to complain after being made so aware of your attitude earlier today.
As you wander the paths you find yourself mesmerized, Vanessa was right about the absolute wonderland of it all. The glittery lights look like stars, spanning higher up trees than you would like to think about your brother being, but regardless they are breathtaking. You find yourself falling away from the group a bit, too caught up in admiring the gorgeous trees and trying to keep as much of your warmth in as possible. Your family carries on walking, unaware of your sudden slow pace, Lewis however seems to notice and slows down himself. So much that you almost trip over him, having been blissfully unaware of his presence.
“You okay?” He asks you when you’re steady on your feet.
“I’m just fine Lewis.” Your voice is as cold as the outdoor air as you avoid looking in his direction.
“Well, from where I’m standing, you’re shaking like a leaf.” His tone has lost its earlier harshness but still carries that bit of arrogance as you catch him smirking at you out of the corner of your eye.
“Just wore the wrong jacket, I’ll be fine.” You argue, keeping your voice short but still pulling your thin jacket tighter. You're mentally cursing yourself for not having worn your puffer.
“Do you want to head back? I’ll walk with you.” His offer catches you off guard, his voice sincere and almost kind as he continues to stare at you, the smirk gone.
“I’m fine,” You say yet again, your voice slightly quieter now, “Dylan worked hard on this, I’ll survive.”
Just as you once again reiterate your argument a gust of wind comes through, picking up the loose snow and blowing it around you sending yet another chill directly down your spine. Lewis evidently notices the cold seeping deeper into your bones, taking it upon himself to make the decision.
“Y/N and I are gonna head back to the house, she’s getting a little too cold, gonna get her something warm, we’ll see you guys in a bit.” He yells ahead to your family against your will.
“Oh, hun, are you okay?” Your mother is immediately concerned.
“I’m fine, I’m not going back.” You start to insist but Lewis is stepping in yet again.
“She’s fine, just wore the wrong jacket. The lights look amazing Dylan, well come see them when she’s warmed up.” Before you can say anything he’s starting to usher you back down the path, Dylan is thanking him and Vanessa is telling you where to find more blankets.
Lewis is guiding you down the path, his body close against your back and his grip firm on your waist as if you don’t know the way. You hate the way he is manhandling you but you have to admit you are relishing in the warmth coming from the proximity. You don’t allow it to go on for too long, wrenching yourself out of his grip once you’re far enough away from your family. You pick up your pace, both in a show of defiance and actually quite wanting to get back to the warmth of the house. You hear him let out a scoff behind you as you throw your little tantrum.
The heat of the house is immediately welcoming, wrapping around you like a hug the moment you open the door. You take a moment to let the heat sink into your bones before even moving to remove your jacket. Lewis stands there watching you for a moment, just shaking his head before taking off his own large puffer.
“What?” You groan, assuming he has a comment to make.
“You know sub zero temps usually require a little more than a flimsy fashion jacket from the mall, right?” His voice is laced with judgement again, the kindness from the forest long gone.
“Oh, would you just fuck off!” You finally properly snap, whipping your head to face him.
““I’m just saying you’re a grown adult and you’re acting like winter is gonna kill you, you can’t even prepare for it” His response is quick, his tone just as snippy as yours, dripping with arrogance.
“I have a fucking parka in my room, I didn’t know how cold it was.” You throw back at him.
“Mmm sure, or you just wanted to look good for the little walk.” He accuses you, his tone condescending.
“Look good for who? I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere!” You fully yell at him, finally done with his jabs.
He ignores the question, his voice raising but not yet actually yelling, “Have you ever considered that maybe it’s good for you to be in the middle of nowhere once in a while?”
“I do not need some asshole who doesn’t even know me giving me fucking life advice, thank you very much.” You snap, no longer yelling but your voice is harsh.
“Well maybe you do because from where I’m standing you would rather be back in LA partying with your friends to post on Instagram than at your brother's beautiful new house with your whole family that loves you. They fucking want you here and you get to fucking see them, stop acting like its pulling fucking teeth for you to be here.” He actually yells this time, momentarily stunning you.
“Why do you even fucking care so much?” You just about scream, praying that your family is still far away from the house. The two of you haven’t even made it out of the foyer yet.
He just stares at you, his eyes hard and his chest heaving slightly. He opens his mouth before quickly snapping it shut, finally letting out a long, deep sigh. “Ya know what, I guess I fucking don’t. Go take a hot shower before you get fucking hypothermia.” He finally mutters harshly as he storms out of the room, his bedroom door slamming shut not long after.
You stand in the foyer, staring down the hallway where he disappeared, still dressed in your winter jacket. You can feel the tears pricking in the back of your eyes, immediately pissing you off that they can be caused by even Lewis. You bite lips, willing the tears to stop, but then you realize, there it is.
It finally feels like Christmas.
#lvis44#lewis hamilton#lh44#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x reader#f1 x reader#f1 drivers#driver x reader#team lh44#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton one shot#lh#lh44 merc#lh44 x reader#f1edit#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1#f1
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learning together - Christmas Special
parental Gojo attempts to get Megumi in a Christmassy mood, it appears to be more of a challenge than he thought.
pt. 1
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
Ice crystalized the window of Satoru's Tokyo apartment, A thick dusting of snow laid atop the city below, and the house smelled distinctly of mulling spices and his favorite "sugar cookie" candle. But the teenage boy had a deep sense of dread when he remembered that he had no idea what his little pupil wanted for Christmas.
Typically, Satoru did not live with Tsumiki or Megumi; he paid for them to have their own place closer to their school. But with the end of the year came winter break, and a wide gap of time for the children to be home alone. That, and as he so often found himself saying these days,
"It's Christmas!!!!"
Tsumiki would giggle, and Megumi would roll his eyes. This phase had propagated into Satoru's vocabulary ever since the children's last day of class when Megumi had asked on the road out of school,
"Why do we have to go to your place? Can't we just stay at home?"
Tsumiki had glared harshly at the boy and nudged him to be quiet. But Megumi just furrowed his brows and softly whispered, "What?"
Satoru leaned back in the passenger seat of his car, an assistant had accompanied them because 1) Gojo doesn't like to drive, and 2) he wanted someone else to unpack all of the kid's stuff so they could spend that time settling in.
As it would later turn out, Megumi was closely attached to his backpack and refused to let anyone else touch it. Odd kid, that one.
Gojo had grinned then, "Becaauuuse" He began in a whining tone, "It's Christmas! You can't be all alone for the holidays!"
The little boy turned to look out the window, fog had accumulated so he could not view of the passing busy street, he avoided Gojo's covered gaze and squeezed his bag handle. "'M not alone. I've got Tsumiki." He mumbled, resting the crown of his head on the door.
Since then, every time Megumi made some negative comment, be it about: Satoru's overindulgence at cafes, the excessive decorating, or even his hyper attitude, Satoru would reply,
"Megumi, it's the Christmas season, be a little more jolly!"
But it seemed more evident as the days went by that Megumi did not have a jolly bone in his body. That, accompanied by his inability to come up with his wish list for Santa, Satoru was discouraged.
"Santa isn't real, Gojo." The boy would huff, rolling his eyes.
"How do you know that?" Gojo would pout, pointing out that at least his big sister humored him with the Santa stuff.
The boy would just pull his, 'are you really being serious right now' face and attempt to extricate himself from the conversation.
One day, after much time purchasing Sanrio toys, art supplies, lip glosses, new shoes, an adorable tea set, a bundle of DS games, and virtually any other gift he could imagine for Tsumiki, and stowing them away in one of his many walk-in closets, he called the young girl into the kitchen.
Megumi was reading in on of Gojo's guest rooms, avoiding everyone.
"Every time I ask him what he wants he just gets all grumpy and tells me not to get him anything..." Satoru confessed after thanking the girl for her willingness to make a list to Santa that included: A cute plushy or maybe new colored pencils?
Santa would pull through on her requests, of course, but Megumi hardly even said anything about food he enjoyed, let alone anything "unnecessary". Every time Satoru found something the boy might like, he got the image of an upset or disappointed Megumi and felt his stomach drop. The kid was hard to shop for, to say the least.
"He won't complain about anything! I promise, Gojo, he just... doesn't...like asking for things." Tsumiki smiled at her benefactor, so mature. From an outsider's perspective, it would seem as though a little girl was consoling a very oversized child who just fell on the playground and scraped his knee.
"But...Why?" Satoru groaned, looking to the girl for some idea of how to make the boy smile. It was Christmas for goodness sake. "I don't want him to 'not complain' I want him to get him something exciting, something he really wants."
Tsumiki twisted her mouth and twiddled her thumbs, "I think...hmm", she cut herself off, rethinking what she meant to say, "I think he already feels so indebted to you, you know? I think it would just upset him to ask for a present."
Satoru opened his mouth, only to close it a few times. He had no words. Why would a child, a boy who has practically just learned to read, feel as if he owes him something?
It was this event that caused Gojo to switch his mindset. If the boy refused to ask for something verbally, Satoru would use his innate talent of observation to deduce for himself what the boy wanted. He would unearth every little wish inside that emotionally constipated boy's heart.
A day later, Satoru found the kids on the floor in the living room, drawing together by the fireplace. Under closer inspection, it was clear why Tsumiki wanted new colored pencils. The ones she had been using in school were practically nubs, she had to hold them at an odd angle to be able to draw properly.
"Watcha dooooin'?" Satoru strolled into the living room, carrying bags of sweets and tissue paper.
"Drawing!" Tsumiki sang back. Her brother huffed and caged his arms around his sheet of paper. Trying to hide his drawing, he put his head down and scribbled some more.
"Ooooo! That's fun!" Satoru called out, tiptoeing to the master bedroom, "Don't let me bother you, I've got some top-secret Santa business to get up to-" Satoru spun around, turning this way and that in a comical show of 'spying', "You kids better stay out of my room!" He squinted at them, "It's never good to be nosy around Christmas!"
Tsumiki laughed and nodded at Gojo but Megumi made a face that showed clearly what a fool he thought the man was. What he didn't know, is that Satoru had real good eyes, and for the first time all week, he had an idea of how to get the boy in the Christmas spirit.
--
The image of Megumi's green crayon scrawled across a sketched pine tree stuck out in Satorus mind as he zipped up Tsumiki's coat. "C'mon Megs! The trees aren't gonna pick themselves!"
Megumi hurriedly called, "I'm coming! Just-ugh- gimmie one second!" as he fumbled with his shoe laces.
"Hey buddy, no rush, I can help." Satoru knelt down on the floor, still a head taller than the boy, he bent and tightened the laces.
The boy's eyes twitched, he had stumbled and clung to Gojo's shoulder for a moment before embarrassment flooded him and he huffed.
Satoru stood, patted the boy's head, and ushered them out the door.
On the eve of the big day, and for the first time, it was clear, Megumi was as excited as Tsumiki, though he tried to hide it, his spine was straight, he was wide awake, his hands tapped his lap unknowingly, and he kept puffing air in his cheeks, he could hardly wait to get to Christmas tree farm.
The boy was brimming with anticipation.
As much as Satoru wanted to follow the kids around, pestering them about what trees they liked, he decided to fall back, allowing them to meander and play amongst themselves. Although unspoken, Tsumiki had been trying to help Satoru in bringing her brother out of his shell. It hadn't really changed much outside of learning that the boy liked reading just a bit more than Gojo suspected.
"GOJO!! GOJO!!" The little girl eventually spun around and waved her arms around in the air. "LOOK! THI- This one-" She inhaled deeply, "Don't you think...it's nice?"
Megumi, who had privately been grinning with his sister just a moment prior, was now avoiding his benefactor's eyes, shifting his weight awkwardly while pretending to be occupied by the snow on his shoe.
"Nice? Oh, Miki, I think it's perfect!" He ran around the tree and came to the other side of them, "Only... Megumi? Do you think this one is right as well?"
Tsumiki stood by the tall man now, blinking at the boy expectantly.
"Mmm." He nodded after a second.
"'Mmm' yes? Or 'Mmm' 'let's find a different one'?"
"'Mmm' yes." He stood up straight and decided.
Satoru pumped his fist, "Whooooo! We got a Christmas tree! Oh boy! I can't wait to decorate! Good thing the farm has got some stuff, huh?"
By the time they had wrapped the tree to the top of a staff vehicle and acquired just about every ounce of tinsel and bows the little shop had, the children's noses were pink with cold and the sun was beginning to crest the horizon.
Not too long ago, Satoru had been feeling deep-seated dread around the Christmas atmosphere or lack thereof. Now, as he raced back to the car to start heating the seats, he had a spring in his step.
--
Satoru, surprisingly, was quite a good cook, unfortunately, they hadn't the time for a homecooked meal when they had important tree-decorating-business to attend to, so they ordered take out and got straight to work.
The three of them worked as a team to adorn the branches with twinkles of silver and velvet ribbon. Satoru had purchased far too many strands of lights so they set aside bunchs of them to decorate the kids rooms.
After taking a moment to back away, they all admired their diligent work. It was beautiful, all lit up and sparkling. Satoru had never felt so grown up. Buying a tree and decorating it himself.
After grinning to themselves, Satoru noticed. Oh, how had he forgotten? It's the most important part!
"The topper!" He groaned. "Ughhhh what are we gonna do...I guess I can go out and buy one..." He mumbled, he spun around, hoping to avoid any sighs of disappointment from the little ones. He looked at the clock on the wall and realized how late it was getting.
Tomorrow was Christmas. Everything was closed. Satoru was just about to suggest making one of their own when Tsumiki spoke up.
"Umm... Gojo... Megumi has something to say." She poked at him with her shoe.
There was a long pause before he spoke, "Well....".
But then he was rushing from the living room. Trapsing his way back to the bedroom he was staying in. Satoru felt awful. He wanted everything to feel like a family event.
"What... was that?" The white haired man began, "Is he... that upset?"
Tsumiki didn't even have time to disagree before the boy was racing from the threshold again, this time, something behind his back. He was huffing and puffing with the effort of his speed.
"What've you got there Megs?" The boy still had his hands behind his back. He looked a bit strange with his elbows bent all weird.
"We can... just use this." He spoke so lowly, it was as though he was ashamed. "If we haven't got anything else."
Imagine Satoru's surprise when the boy, who had been the grinch incarnate since day one, brought out a glass star tree topper. It seemed as though it had been hand painted, perhaps a school project. When did Megumi get this?
It took a moment before the oldest of the three spoke, this seemed to discourage Megumi and he was about to hide it once more, saying, "We don't need to... it's not very good."
"NO!" Both Satoru and the boy's sister practically screeched. "NOT VERY GOOD???" Satoru basically flung himself to his knees to get a better look. His glasses had long since been on his head, but he yanked them off, as though they might obstruct the boy's creation. "IT"S GORGEOUS!"
"You're over doing it..." The boys brows were furrowed. Satoru knew the kid was trying to play it off as if he wasn't happy with the older boy, but Megumi's lips were twitching.
"This!" Satoru tilted his nose to the ceiling, "Is the finest of tree toppers! I do declare! How dare you keep this from us! This is what we've needed all along."
--
That night, Megumi would lay in bed, recalling how it felt to be lifted so high, setting his little star atop the tree. His teacher in the week prior had loudly told the class to hang up their stars with their family over Christmas break. There was a strange giddiness he felt knowing he was able to use it. To know it was hung up, not hidden in his school bag.
That morning Satoru had woken the kids up early, skipping into their bedrooms to announce that Santa had come in the night.
"Wow. Santa sure does like cookies..." Megumi almost smiled as he pointed out that the sweets on the counter from the days before were nearly gone.
"Right you are Megumi! I like how you think, we'll need to get more!"
Gojo watched as the kids opened their numerous gifts. The both of them seemed quite uncomfortable with the stacks they had laid out at first. Tsumiki jumped with joy after opening the smallest box, a designer set of colored pencils along with a new sharpener. And that, more than anything, made her little brother smile.
Megumi, however, had a harder time accepting his gifts. Christmas evening, after opening new clothing to grow into, book after book, dog toys, and much more. He found himself watching Satoru from the living room as his sister played games on her DS.
"Whatcha lookin' at Megs?"
Satoru hadn't even peered up from the dish sink, but he knew Meg's had been eyeing him.
"Nothing." Megs turned away and watched Tsumiki reach a new level.
Oddly, he felt like crying. Did he not want it to end? Did he feel guilty? Did he wish he had gotten something else? No, he knew it wasn't any of that.
And then it struck him. This felt an awful lot like a family... it hurt him deep in his stomach and sent pricks to his eyes. Satoru, of course, could tell something was brewing in the boy but he just couldn't get him to say anything.
It wasn't until Gojo was tucking Megumi in for the night, (for the very first time) that he asked.
"Well Megs, was it a good Christmas?"
The boy just nodded and pulled the duvet to his nose.
"Did Santa do a good job, or was there something else you were wishing for?"
The thought struck the boy as insulting.
"No. It was seriously too much, Gojo."
"Hey, kid, don't blame me, that was alllllllll the big guy."
"So were all those cookies going missing..." Megs rolled his eyes.
"Now you're getting it." Satoru decided not to push his luck with patting the boys head and lifted himself to his full height. "Well..." he rolled his head over too the door, "I'm going to go say good night to your sister."
It was at this precise moment, just as Satoru was leaving, that Megumi had a wave pass over him. He tried to sit up but it was too much. He forced the words out, shutting his eyes.
"I wish you would s-stay."
After he said it he breathed a huge sigh, as if it was the most challenging thing he's done.
"What was that?" Gojo's eyes were huge, confused. He sped over to the boys bed, kneeling once more, "What did you say?"
It was too hard to get out again. Megumi just shrugged and felt blood fill his cheeks.
"Did you ask me to stay?" Satoru seemed to chase the boys eyes with his head, leaning over into Megumi's space. "Do you mean here? Or... with you? You and Tsumiki?"
Megumi tugged his comforter to his nose once more, hiding the majority of his face. "With us. Like this."
Years later, Megumi would groan every time he would recall this moment, but for now, it was just for Satoru and him, and his warm toned desk lamp.
"Hey, kid, I'm not goin' anywhere."
Satoru smiled but Megumi wouldn't meet his eye.
"'Cause it's Christmas?"
Satoru's smile widened and this time, he did pat Megumi's head.
"Nah, 'cause I don't want to."
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#megumi and tsugumi#megumi imagine#megumi headcanons#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#megumi x reader#megumi x you#megumi fluff#megumi x y/n#satoru angst#satoru imagine#satoru x reader#gojo imagine#gojo satoru#gojo and megumi#megumi and gojo#gojo fluff#satoru fluff#jjk imagines#jjk comfort#megumi comfort#gojo comfort#megumi x reader angst#jujutsu megumi#megumi angst#gojo angst
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Warning!! This post may contain spoilers for those who haven't played Veilguard yet! This turned out a lot longer than I thought, but I'm discussing the theory that Rook is a spirit.
I know that there are issues with the writing and any theory is not created to make those issues get swept under the rug. This theory is meant to be fun, and I would like to talk about it.
I'm thinking about the "Rook is a spirit" theory I saw on twitter/x. This theory often rotates in my head often, and I think that it's so interesting.
Like, listen. I understand that narratively it would be complicated to insert into what we know is Dragon Age Veilguard. Someone brought up the fact that it would be a strange thing because wouldn't Emmrich know that Rook is a spirit the way that he knows Lucanis has Spite?
But the theory that cadhalash paints for us is the fact that Varric was for Rook what the Rook is for the companions.
"Help them with their personal problems and talk to them about their feelings, but never ask Rook how they're doing. Or if they need anything. In codex memos we learn the companions have potlucks and book clubs but Rook is not invited. We learn at the end that Varric wasn't really there... What if Rook wasn't either? There's tons of chat about this idea now with other examples of Rook being compared to a spirit in the game. Very interesting and fun!" -cadhalash
There could be the very huge chance that Emmrich would recognize Rook as a spirit, but what about a spirit made flesh?
Think about Cole's banter with Blackwall, for example:
Blackwall: How does a spirit become flesh anyway?
Cole: I don't know. How does a Warden become Grey?
It may seem like a reach, but to me, it makes sense. Cole chose to become human because that was the shape that would help, which he says in a banter with Varric.
Varric: So, Kid, why human?
Cole: It was the shape that would help.
Varric: Huh. Most people don't pick a shape. I guess I was hoping for something deeper with that question.
Cole: It had to be him. But harmless. The him he wanted that wouldn't hurt.
Varric: Well that's... deeper. I think.
You may be thinking, "Hey, Atlas. That might be a little reaching, don't you think?"
Well, yes. Applauding the people that caught onto Solas in the Dragon Age Fandom years and years ago now because you all were on the nose about him being a worm (spirit). But considering what we know from Dragon Age as a whole, it could be possible that Rook is too a spirit of a different kind.
We know that Emmrich can sense Spite. We know that Emmrich can talk directly to Spite. But what if Rook was more like Cole? Would Emmrich's ability to speak to spirits or sense them so close apply?
I would say, that depends on the type of Spirit that Rook would be, right? This has a lot of wiggle room for what you think your Rook would be as a spirit?
From the Wiki:
Spirits lack imagination and creativity; everything they make is based off something made by mortals. Whether benevolent or malevolent, most spirits cannot help but mine a Fade visitor's mind for their thoughts and memories. They then mimic the pieces of life they see by shaping the Fade into various realms that cater to the unconscious desires of the living, providing experiences to the sleeping that become their "dreams."
And the Spirits listed:
Command, Compassion (Cole), Courage, Curiosity (Manfred), Duty, Faith (Wynne), Honor, Hope, Justice(Anders), Learning, Love, Perseverance, Purpose, Valor, Wisdom (Solas).
(We know from Veilguard that Spite is referred to as a spirit of Determination/ mentioned in a data mine, Passion.)
For the sake of the theory, let's say that Emmrich would get an inkling. A prickling feeling even that he knows that there's a spirit near by and would chalk it up to being Manfred because he would know that, right? But then there's Spite. How big of an energy read does Emmrich get from Lucanis to immediately go, 'Yeah, you've got a tag along and I'm sorry it wasn't a willing possession'.
So, how would it get unnoticed by Emmrich, the resident Fade Expert?
Well... Reading further down said wiki page, we find this:
As Rhys puts it in a dialogue with Cole, "being important makes you real". (Asundered reference, I believe?)
Being important makes you real. Rook becomes the 'leader' when Varric gets hurt at the beginning of the game. For the entirety of the game, as Rook, you have to build a team to fight ancient elvhen gods. Rook has to be what Varric was, pulling people that Solas didn't know into trying to save the world from going to shit.
Rook was given a purpose. To save the world.
Regardless of how Rook is perceived, they are in charge. They are in a position that they didn't want, probably was expecting to go home after dealing with this Dread Wolf that they were recruited to stop, and now... They're given a role that would make them important. And as before being important makes you real.
Could Rook be something akin to Cole rather something like Spite or other spirits that we know in Veilguard?
Here's another thing: Solas.
Yes, we are talking about the egg. I'll try to keep this as coherent as possible. We know that Solas didn't want to come from the Fade to be a human (another discussion for another time). We learn that Solas was a spirit of Wisdom, whose Wisdom was twisted into a weapon and forced to do things that stripped Solas of what he wanted to keep for himself. To remain as Wisdom.
This makes it interesting if we add to the fact that Rook could choose to outsmart Solas. Because at that pivotal moment, Solas was Pride. On his pride, it was always the sword he would fall on.
Say what you will about the trick ending, but this is something that shouldn't be glossed over. Being outsmarted by Rook, Solas says, "I am a fool... Who has met his match."
Met his match. This also might be another case of reaching, but it's interesting phrasing from someone who tells clever half-truths and never quite lies. Being tricked by Rook out of pure wits alone. Something that he thought he succeeded in.
What does this have to do with spirits?
Solas, who was brought out of the Fade to take a body to join the elves in a fight against the Titans. Solas, who crafted the lyrium dagger to sunder the Titans from their dreams in hopes of stopping the war. Solas, who created the blight from the Titans' severed dreams. Solas, who started a rebellion against the ancient elvhen gods who abused their power.
Rook, who was brought onto a job to stop the Dread Wolf. Rook, who disrupted the ritual in hopes of stopping Solas. Rook, who started a double blight from freeing these ancient elvhen gods. Rook, who has to build a team to stop these ancient elven gods.
I would say, in spirit, Rook is a mirror of Solas. I'm not saying Rook is wise like Solas or anything like that. But there is something about Rook being Solas' mirror that could fold into Rook being a Spirit of Reflection.
This is just something that comes to mind. Rooks helps Taash discover their identity, helps Emmrich deal with his fear of mortality, helps Neve protect Dock Town, helps Bellara with Cyrian, helps Harding with the Titans, helps Davrin with the griffons, and helps Lucanis with Spite. (Generalized, all choice dependent.) These are reflections of the companions. These are reflections of the people that Rook had brought together to save the world.
It could easily be written off because we're not entirely sure how many spirits there are, but I digress.
Of course, that too would beg the question of how it would apply to all Rooks from all backgrounds?
Let's take a look at the ones that make me think.
Shadow Dragon Rook
The foundling Rook was adopted into a military family and joined the Shadow Dragons to fight from the shadows for change in Minrathous.
We learn in a dialogue with Tarquin that a Shadow Dragon Rook was found on a battlefield by the Mercar family.
Now with this little bit of dialogue, it makes me (personally) think back to what Solas says about him walking the Fade and seeing ancient battlefields where spirits reenact wars from the other side of the Veil. There could have been spirits that were there during this battle where SD Rook was found. (It also kinda reminds me of Loki being found by Odin and raised in Asgard. Don't come for me, I've only watched the movies.)
For the sake of theory, say that a spirit that would have looked over a SD Rook before they were found by the Mercars. Thinking about it, it reminds me of how Cole (the mage) was watched over by Compassion and then Compassion took a shape that would help.
A spirit (in Spite's case) can be drawn to a person, yes? As Determination, we know that Spite was drawn to Lucanis' determination to live or something of the like. (I will live to spite you, essentially.)
Mourn Watch Rook
Discovered by undead inside a Grand Necropolis tomb as an infant, Rook was raised by Mourn Watch necromancers, eventually joining the order.
Relating back to the Muttering Undead that is in a coffin on the path from Emmrich's recruitment:
Stumbling… The steps. Skeletons saw… Oh no choice. Had to be brave… Had to be brave… Too late to cry… Save the (girl, boy, baby) with the grave.
This is a little more open ended. We know nothing about Ingellvar beyond that. We don't know where they came from, only that they were found inside a tomb. It makes me scratch my head.
We know that it's a custom in Nevarra that a spirit could reanimate a skeleton, essentially, and bring some part of their consciousness from back across the Veil. We see that Manfred, when you choose to bring him back, is brought back from across the Veil and returns with magic.
Sure, it's not the same thing as building a body out of Titan's blood, but the idea that the spirits that became the Evanuris are the best of the physical and the Fade offers up to the idea that they were going to have magic anyway when they crossed the Veil. Only lyrium gave them more power than I think that they knew what to do with.
I make this point from the perspective that Mourn Watchers are typically necromancers. They are almost always close to places where the Veil is thin enough for a spirit to come across and possessing a body in a sense.
When it comes to the Muttering Undead, I don't know who that could have been or what they were doing in the Necropolis. But it's clear that they were determined to save Mourn Watch Rook, and they were the one that put Rook in the tomb.
This one makes me scratch my head because it's so broad and vague. For the theory that Rook is a spirit, this is the origin/background/faction that lends itself to the idea because in Nevarra they revere and respect their dead with the ability to raise the corpses to continue contributing to the Grand Necropolis. But we're talking about a wee baby Rook growing up in the Necropolis. Could it be possible that the saving of Rook is more spirit in a tomb?
The last things I would like to touch on.
Dialogue with Harding (her romance I believe?) :
Harding: I've seen spirits leave the Fade and become real people. (COLE!!!)
Rook: You think I could be a spirit in disguise?
Harding: It isn't malicous. They're just drawn to strong emotion. And then...one day, real people.
Rook: I think I'm really me, and I'm really here.
This is why I mentioned Cole earlier.
And the absence of Rook in the Veilguard mural is brought up in the theory as well. Rook's absence on the mural strikes me as odd. Because yes, the companions would be a main focus in the stories that would follow them. But what about Rook, the person who brought these vastly different people together and saved the world? Not there. Were they ever there?
Much to think about.
#long post#dragon age#veilguard#da rook#rook is a spirit theory#i got eepy halfway through#agh#yapping#is this anything#tin foil hat theories#this started because i was trying to research war of the banners things for a fic#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#emmrich volkarin#taash#lace harding#bellara lutare#varric tethras#solas#solas dragon age#solas veilguard#blackwall mentioned#cole dragon age
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Spy × Family Chapter 108: An Analysis
So, after a two month wait, we finally got a new chapter! And we were SO well fed LMAO!!!
Anyway, as always, spoilers for Spy × Family Chapter 108 under the cut!
We start off the chapter with Melinda nervously explaining to Yor her reason for being "Lunaluna Selena" in disguise: it's a fun hobby!
And, obviously, she's in disguise out of worry about the rumours that might spread if the former First Lady of Ostania dabbles in mysticism: as it might cause problems with her husband. (Though it is messed up that she has to hide her hobbies from her own husband, but we know how Donovan is).
In the middle of Melinda's monologue about why she loves this sort of thing, she drops a rather odd line:
(First of all: DANDADAN reference anyone?) Kidding, kidding, it was probably just a throw-off line, but what we're really focusing on is: Melinda's emphases on the word "Telepathy".
Now, side note, I'm not sure if the emphasis was to draw our, the readers' attentions to the fact that Melinda believes in the concept of telepathy existing, or if Melinda herself is putting emphasis on the word "telepathy", implying she knows something about the project that Anya was made for.
It is a fascinating thing to put in, though: if one's talking about the things they believe in, then putting "telepathy" in the top three seems like an odd choice, especially if more general terms like "superpowers" or whatever exist.
It does seem very intentional on Endo-sensei's part to put in, especially since, as of now, we don't know how much Melinda knows about Donovan's current plans, or even about what he's done before.
It could be a reference to Anya's past, or some sort of red herring so the reveal of Anya's past can be more shocking. I'm not sure. Yet, I choose to believe that Melinda knows something about Anya's past--- something maybe she found out on accident? Which is why she's so terrified of Donovan?
In essence, this chapter basically confirms that Melinda is suffering some sort of psychological abuse at the hands of Donovan, leading to her fear of him. What's more interesting is that Donovan is intentionally trying to drive a rift between Melinda and the boys. Possibly he's trying to isolate her by keeping them under his thumb, so that she doesn't try to "betray" him? Or maybe he's already threatened the lives of the boys in return for Melinda staying, all for the sake of keeping the "happy family man" image up to the public (though we know how messed up the family really is).
These panels. They confirm that Melinda has thoughts about standing up for herself and Damian (and Demetrius too, I guess--- I think it's implied), but the sheer terror of what Donovan might do holds her back. Half a step forward, a whole leap back. She even says, "Fortune telling [a hobby that she loves dearly] doesn't matter either. What am I doing here?"
So. yeah.
[NOTE: I skipped over the tarot reading part initially so that I could talk about Donovan and his abuse, and connect it to the first bit of the chapter. The tarot reading part comes now.
NOTE 2: All the information about the tarot cards comes from Google. I have no knowledge about tarot, so please take this with a grain of salt, and if I make any mistakes, please don't hesitate in correcting me :)]
These are the cards we see initially.
She says the card representing Anya's present is the Four of Cups. According to Google, it means:
The Four of Cups tend to appear when you are feeling discouraged and unmotivated. You may feel as if there is no solution or way forward in your situation. Life has become stagnant, and nothing seems to make you happy or passionate.
(Labyrinthos, Tarot Cards Meanings List)
Which is kind of true in reference to Anya's life as a student. A student's life is filled with studying (God knows I know it), something Anya is apathetic towards. It's also "Plan A" of Operation Strix: through studying, Anya becomes an Imperial Scholar and Twilight makes contact with Donovan Desmond.
Or, it could be an allusion to Melinda's situation: she's discouraged, and feels trapped in her marriage. Nothing makes her passionate anymore, because everything she experiences is tainted by her husband (see: the panel above where she says 'even fortune-telling doesn't matter).
Melinda says that the Death card represents the factors around Anya. There's the obvious joke about "Oh the Grim Reaper's right next to you!" with Yor next to Anya, but the Death card shouldn't be taken literally.
The Death card signals that one major phase in your life is ending, and a new one is going to start. You just need to close one door, so the new one will open. The past needs to be placed behind you, so you can focus your energy on what is ahead of you.
(Labyrinthos, Tarot Cards Meanings List)
This is a reference to Anya's previous life as a test subject, and orphan; and how she's left that past behind and been allowed to actually be a child, and how she's finally being loved as she deserves. How her circumstances, the factors around her are changing. It could also pertain to her physical growth, or maybe it was just there for the joke about Yor being the Grim Reaper (which is still pretty ominous. Who is Yor going to have to kill?)
And, finally, the Star in reverse.
When the Star card is reversed, it means that you are feeling as though everything has turned against you. The challenges that you would normally see as exciting seem instead to make you feel as though you cannot overcome them. You have lost faith in something, whether inside yourself or with something you normally find dear. Without hope, without faith, we cannot find the motivation to progress forward in the challenges that we face. Where in your life are you feeling hopeless? In what ways do you already feel defeated? And how does that affect your actions? The star reversed asks us to nurture our sense of hope and positive energy to help propel our actions with joy instead of fear.
(Labyrinthos, Tarot Cards Meanings List)
Since this represents Anya's future... it doesn't look to good. It feels intentionally grey and murky, with no clear answer as to what's going to happen in Anya's future, but it still seems pretty bleak.
Overall, these readings don't seem to point to a future that seems too good for Anya.
I am very afraid what's going to happen to her (and to find out what's going to happen to her), but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
We still don't know what exactly Anya means by "This feeling... I think I've felt it before...", especially when it's related to Melinda's fear of returning home and to Donovan. Again, it makes me very nervous for her backstory.
Anya and Yor return to where the rest of the gang is, and---
why is he like this.
After Twilight spends the whole day socializing with the other parents, "pumping them for information", Emile talks about how nice it must be to have a nice mom, which leads to this interaction:
This has a striking similarity to the chapter where Anya confesses about her mind-reading powers to Damian: the reassurance back then that Damian loves his dad, and now, the reassurance that Melinda loves him. Parallels about who he loves and idolizes, and now who loves him.
And, it's also so heartwarming that she specifically takes off her mask: showing her, perhaps, most true self to him, especially due to the fact that she comes from a family of actors, constantly putting on masks.
Speaking of masks... we can see a bit of [REDACTED] bleed through the mask of Loid, and Twilight.
It's the same, pensive expression that we see him wear in Episode 35 (Chapter 56), except it's more... tired. More weary. Less affectionate.
(The panel from Chapter 56)
We see a man imagining What Could Have Been, if the trajectory of his life hadn't changed so drastically: especially at a festival much like the one he's currently at.
We see a man tired of war.
We also see it in Episode 3 (Chapter 3)
This is when he's seeing young boys playing, and thinking of himself and his own friends.
Anya doesn't read his mind, but she does read his expression-
And so, the family man mask comes on, but not quite as properly as he'd like.
We can still see [REDACTED] shine through.
It's the same smile he gives Yor and Anya when Nightfall comes over, the smile with, which Fiona notes, "a tiny hint of real emotion seeping out from beneath it".
We jump to some time later, with Director Gorey asking Loid if he's willing to take on a VIP patient who presents a "challenging" case, which is followed by the inevitable reveal that the patient is Melinda.
I think this implies that Melinda has tried seeing psychiatrists before, but none of them worked out for her, or none of them could figure out what was wrong with her (hence the "challenging").
It's also revealed that Yor suggested Melinda sees Loid, which is greatly boosting his mission.
Gorey says that he suspects she's suffering from an intense case of Persecution Complex, so I searched that up.
People with a persecution complex suffer from the feeling that other people are trying to harm them.
(Cambridge Dictionary)
Given Gorey's diagnosis, I'm wondering if he's implying that Melinda is untrustworthy (which also implies that Melinda might have spoken of her fear of her husband--- perhaps in a roundabout way, which also led to her being classified as "challenging".) Though, for this, we'll need to wait and see next chapter.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I really loved this chapter! It definitely was worth the two month wait (and, I hope Endo-sensei is better, I think he took the break because of poor health). I'm excited for the next chapter! Tell me what your thoughts are!
#spy x family#spy x family manga#spy x family manga spoilers#spy x family chapter 108#spy x family chapter 108 spoilers#sxf manga#sxf manga spoilers#sxf chapter 108#sxf chapter 108 spoilers#melinda desmond#yor forger#yor briar#yor briar-forger#thorn princess#anya forger#agent twilight#loid forger#damian desmond#gerald gorey (sxf)#donovan desmond
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Keeping warm with Ace - no nut December? 🔥
Summary: Ace half-jokingly declares a vow of no-nut December. When he manages to last a few days, how will the dry spell be broken? ~1.4k words. CW: SMUT! Afab reader w/gendered language (e.g. "princess"), fingering, P in V, dirty talk. Minors don't interact - nsfw content!
Art by the lovely @hirakyun13 (thank you for collabing with me!)
“You only love me so much because I let you hit all the time.”
When he heard your words, Ace bursted out laughing. He feigned a gasp. “Do you have such a low opinion of me, princess?”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m jokinggg, Ace. But you sure are rabid recently. Not like I have a problem with it or anything.”
His lips curled into that sweet smile of his as he brought his lips to your cheek. “Well, then. I’ll show you how wrong you are. Let’s see how much you like me not jumping your bones every three seconds. No nut December.”
“Ace,” you laughed. “You’re going to last a day.”
Somehow, though, he managed to last multiple.
---
Ages ago, you booked a holiday trip with Ace. A nice vacation from your lives, a reprieve from the stress and endless list of tasks to do.
The chalet—or rather, cabin—was gorgeous. It felt like it was in the middle of nowhere, in a forest of tall pines covered in heavy snow that weighed their branches down. They would have looked melancholy if it wasn’t for the bright white heaps of snow on the bows to remind you what time of year it was.
Ace’s joke-abstinence no-nut-December lasted until the second day of your extended stay at the beautiful A-frame cabin—so, in total, he lasted a good few days.
He tried his hardest and it was amusing, but really, he could barely keep it together. Boner 24/7. You figured it wouldn’t be too hard to break him, but it was great entertainment to tease him for as long as he could hold out for. Besides, after waiting for a few days you knew that the sex, once it finally happened, would be that much better.
---
On your second day at the cabin—the day that Ace broke his “no nut December”—after a nice long walk in the snow outside (interrupted by a blizzard), you and Ace returned to the cabin and undressed. Time for a shower to warm you to your bones—scalding hot and steamy.
While you showered, Ace lit a fire in the fireplace; he warmed up the blankets on the plushy, king-size bed and then lit a candle.
When you emerged from the shower, hair wet and skin damp, you snuggled up in the blankets, no clothes on (to soak in the warmth that you knew Ace placed there).
“Come warm me up, Ace.” You requested and he happily obliged, like always. ‘Warming you up’ was one of his favorite things, mostly because it just involved touching you. He would take any and every chance he could get. And of course, now that he was at the end of his mini-dry spell, he looked forward to it all the more. Might now be the time to break his multi-day streak?
When he slid in bed with you and pressed his body on yours, his warmth flooded through your body. He got as warm as he could get without being too hot.
It was a double satisfaction for you—getting warm, and then teasing Ace so hard you knew he’d fold like a lawn chair.
He wrapped a hand around your front and pulled you close to him, taking a deep inhale of your freshly washed hair and squeezing you tight to his chest.
You laid there for a while, happy and toasty, almost drifting off to sleep when you realized that you felt something hard pressing onto you from behind. Obviously, it was Ace.
So, you did what any reasonable person would do and snuggled back into him, brushing his hard-on in a way that made his breath hitch. It was easy to play him like a fiddle because he was figuratively on his knees for you every moment of the day. He’d do anything for you and worshipped the ground you walked on.
You pressed back again, harder, overtly deliberate now, and he let out a quiet gasp as he felt your warm skin graze his aching shaft through his underwear.
“Fuck, sweetheart. I can’t take it anymore.” His hand passed down to grip your hip and he rutted his hips, effectively humping you through his underwear. Quiet but deep grunts slipped out of him every couple seconds, and as you felt him roll into you it started to make you feel some sort of way—how could it not?
After Ace rubbed himself on you like that for a while, he started to get more worked up. Unapologetic groans fell out of his pretty lips and his breathing quickened.
A hand creeped downwards, towards the valley where your thighs met. He repositioned you slightly to give himself better access, then slid his fingers inwards to caress your folds and soft spots.
Those rough, thick fingers felt godly when he warmed them up and touched you gently like this. He turned you into a sopping-wet mess within a couple minutes, thighs shaking slightly, and breaths shallow, punctured by the occasional, muted moan.
“Let those sounds out, angel. I wanna hear ‘em.” He whispered in your ear and you could feel his hot puffs of breath on your skin. His fingers plunged in and out, making you squirm as he curved them and spread them inside of you.
Soft moans and sounds of bliss fell from your lips unrestrained at his request. He made his fingers warmer still, and it felt like heaven as he drew circles around your clit then slipped his fingers inside and out again.
After a while, you started to lose focus. You couldn’t tell where his skin stopped and where yours began.
“Ace—I need you,” you managed to choke out.
Promptly flipping you over so you were facing him, Ace pushed your leg up, over his hip, and pulled you into a long, affectionate kiss before he brought his throbbing shaft out of his boxers and started to line himself up with your entrance.
When he sunk you down onto his length, your eyes rolled back in your head, not in jest this time but in pure pleasure.
Immediately, Ace started to thrust his hips upwards in small jerks, fucking you shallowly and slowly.
“Fuck—you’re perfect,” Ace groaned and bucked his hips deeper, sliding deliciously into you and passing over your hot spot.
Every few seconds he greedily pulled you into a kiss, and each time your lips met in increasing desperation.
His grip on your hip tightened. It was almost painful now. As he thrusted into you faster, he started to moan into your mouth, deep groans that went straight to your core and vibrated your lips ever so slightly.
Too many presses of his girth past your g-spot and you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Ace, I’m gonna cum soon,” you gasped, and he slammed into you particularly hard, pressing on the spot he knew would make you feel the best.
“Do it, baby,” his hips rocked into and wet noises echoed in your ears. “Show me, ah, fuck, s-show me how good I make you feel.”
Ace slammed into your g-spot again and it sent you reeling headfirst into your orgasm. White-hot pleasure jolted through you, radiating from your sticky, pulsing core outwards to your limbs where it stalled in tingling zaps of bliss.
You couldn’t tell, since you were lost in the crushing weight of your climax, but your toes curled the hardest they had before, and you writhed on Ace’s cock so hard that it made him cum.
His body seized up alongside yours and his heartrate threatened to explode out of his chest. Deafening groans—one of the best parts of having sex with him—escaped his lips as every muscle in his body went taught. “Fuuuuhhhhccckkkk.”
When you were done floating through bliss, there was quite the mess to clean up. But, ever the gentleman, Ace told you to just lay there and not move a muscle. He got you cleaned up then went back to spooning you and keeping you warm.
oh my GOD, the piece becca (@hirakyun13 / @becca-oak ) drew has me literally drooling. also she sent this fic idea to me so she's really holding this whole piece on her back rn. please check out her page and drop a follow!!! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
if you liked this fic, check out my masterlist and the masterlist for this short holiday event! 🎄🎄🎄
merry christmas & happy new year!!
#i need him BAD#the way his hands look here makes me wanna bark#portgas d ace smut#portgas ace smut#ace one piece#one piece ace#fire fist ace#one piece smut#op smut#op x reader#one piece x reader#one piece reader insert#portgas d ace x you#portgas d ace x reader#portgas d ace x y/n#ace one piece smut#z's holiday event
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The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime
12 Days of Aniblogging 2024, Day 11
So you’ve seen some good yuri anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena (and the movie, if you want), Bloom Into You, Puella Magi Madoka Magica (plus, of course, Rebellion, which is essential), Bocchi: The Rock!, Girls Last Tour. You know HaruMichi and Farcille and poor sweet Tomoyo Daidouji and Quanxi’s whole deal. You’ve been queerbaited by Kyoani, or maybe you got lucky and watched Dragon Maid which was actually gay; you no longer get weirded out by incest; you wanted more Utena and got The Witch from Mercury S1 (good) or Revue Starlight (bad); maybe you’ve even gone back to Oniisama e and discovered Ryoko Ikeda’s incredible butch-for-butch technologies.
You’ve seen some good yuri and that’s been great. It’s just… there isn’t that much of it. Well, you could start reading manga, or books, or talking to actual women, but you want more yuri anime specifically.
To you, dear reader, I offer up this solution:
Bad Yuri.
Floating Catacombs 2025 Presents:
A Normal Author’s Girlfriend Production
The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime
Before we get started, let’s define our terms. First: Bad Yuri must not be in good taste. Second, let us consider some ‘ungood’ yuri, that we might understand what we aren’t looking for:
Case 1: Liz and the Blue Bird.
Boring and forgettable. Bad Yuri must be watchable.
Case 2: Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.
Yeah the butchfemme was good but I spent this entire show waiting for KuroMaya and they only got half an episode. I don’t fucking care about ‘childhood friends’. Bad Yuri must be enjoyable.
Case 3: Hibike Euphonium
It has to be gay. Come on. This is like the most basic requirement.
Case 4: MagiRevo, Undead Murder Farce
Being gay is not enough. You have to have actual characters.
In sum: Bad Yuri must be in bad taste; it must be watchable on a minute-to-minute basis; it must not leave the watcher with a bad taste in her mouth; it must actually be gay; and it must have some semblance of characterization. In practice it is basically always violent and horny. We’re talking like Kill La Kill levels, although if you ever want to watch that you should just go see Promare instead. Also, I reserve the right to break any and all of these rules whenever I feel like it. Without further ado:
Cross Ange
Content Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Sexual Assault, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, It’s Just Porn At This Point, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twists, Pretty Much Every Fetish
Princess Ange’s traitorous older brother exiles her to an island full of lesbians, where she must pilot a mech to fight dragons in incredibly revealing clothing.
This is Code Geass if it was about a girl and also worse (sorry Roze of the Recapture). This show starts with a baby being arrested. They put the baby in a special little baby jail cage in the back of a police car. The first episode ends with lesbian rape under the justification of a strip search. The weak girls on Pussy Fight Island pull knives on each other at the slightest provocation; the stronger girls pull guns; the strongest girls just use their hands.
It’s got all the subtlety of villainess manga. It’s got girls pissing themselves. It’s got a girl named Riza, short for Lizardia, because she is secretly a DRAGON. Forget ‘Lesbian soldier hopelessly in love with her commander’ – it’s got that too but it has I kid you not a lesbian harem where the top dies in combat so one of the four harem girlies has to turn into a top like a clownfish undergoing sequential hermaphroditism and take over. And then she dies too and the next one in line has to take over and then it happens again and then when it’s down to two one of them leaves because she can tell the current top’s heart isn’t in it and defects to Akio Ohtori’s side, because at least he’s willing to fuck her (lesbian cuckold count: 1) And everybody’s ass is out at all times.
It’s also got a surprising amount of Gundam intertextuality? The comparisons to Iron-Blooded Orphans are obvious; Kira Yamato is there, for some reason; her mecha is the Zeta Gundam but if it was the Strike Freedom with the TR-6 Woundwort’s Psyco Blade Goddess Antenna from Mobile Suit Gundam: Advance of Zeta: The Flag of Titans; the girls in Ange’s squadron each map perfectly to Shaddiq Zenelli’s Grassley girls.
But that’s not what you’re here for. You’re here for the scene where Hilda confesses that she’s in love with Ange but understands that Ange can never love her back, because Ange is already in love with Kira Yamato, and also with Salamandinay, a DRAGON princess from the True Earth who arrived through a dimensional rift to free Aura, the first DRAGON and the source of all magic, before Ange grabs her and gives her a full kiss while telling her that the world she’s fighting to create will have all kinds of relationships.
God Jill is so hot.
Shlock: Maximum
Lesbian: Yes, somehow, and bisexual as well. It is a male gaze thing but that’s going to be a constant with this microgenre. The vast majority of people who like women are men statistically and sometimes thank god they produce something like this
Watchability: High, if you have covid
Quality: Awful.
The Executioner And Her Way Of Life
Content Warnings: Death, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twist
Menou is a priestess in Isekai World whose job is to hunt down and kill Isekai Boys before they start causing problems with their Isekai Boy Powers. But this latest Isekai Boy Target… is a Girl With Enormous Tatas who she can’t kill because she auto-rewinds time to erase any wounds.
What really does it here for me is Menou’s relationship with her mentor, Flare, who groomed trained her from a young age to cut off all her emotions in order to make her a better executioner. I’m not immune to Empty Spaces/Combat Dolls/Signalis. What if Christianity wasn’t about raising girls as lambs to the slaughter but was instead about raising girls to use knives to kill people? A seductive premise for those with my particular flavor of religious trauma. Akari is fine, although I feel like Smith (Bravern) did Homura better.
I also like Momo, although I have a weakness for lesbian cuckolds (more on that later, possibly).
Shlock: High
Lesbian: Lesbian
Watchability: Moderate
Quality: Mid
Kakegurui
Content Warnings: Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Boy Protagonist before the story thankfully gets bored of him, It’s Just Porn At This Point
Yumeko Jabami transfers into Gambling Academy, where everybody gambles and failing to pay your debts means being forced into petplay slavery. Luckily for her and unluckily for everyone else she is the world’s most perfect gambler because it turns her on.
Maybe the highest exposure show on this list? It’s got gambling, and sexual gambling, and a girl who can only orgasm if she’s actively taking place in a gamble where she could die. At one point she whacks off in a bathroom playing solo Russian Roulette. It’s got a Netflix original season 2 villain who was a girl forced to dress as a boy for years in ways that drove her sexually insane. It’s got The Tower of Doors, which is the most woman game that any woman has ever played.
My favorite bit character is probably the early villain who collects fingernails from everybody she beats because that’s her fetish, or the hopelessly-devoted Student Council Secretary who wants only to lay her face on the chair where her beloved Student Council President sits (lesbian cuckold count 3; 4 if you count Midori). She asks to gamble with her life and Yumeko says that that’s boring, and that there are things she values more – and that they’ll gamble with one life vs her relationship to the Student Council President instead.
Watch the opening for this one – it’s very clear about what it is, and if it doesn’t hook you it isn’t the show for you.
youtube
Shlock: Very High
Lesbian: Surprisingly
Watchability: Very high
Quality: Fine
Akuma No Riddle
Content Warnings: Violence, Sexual Assault, Death, Ryona, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Fanservice, Various Fetishes
Bishonen girl assassin Tokaku Azuma has received her first assignment: attend the Black Class at Killing People Murder High School and kill sweet and innocent-seeming Haru Ichinose, who she immediately falls in love with. Unfortunately the other eleven members of the Black Class are also there to kill Haru.
And they’re all lesbian or bisexual. And they’re all freaks.
They’re constantly pulling guns and knives on each other. Like every conversation a weapon will come out – possibly two. There’s a lesbian serial killer who really likes using scissors on girls. Sexually. The Student Council President is sexually devoted to the school principal. There’s a twenty-year-old spoiled rich girl with a boy’s name because she was named after her mom, who was a gay man. Her dad was also a gay man. If you dare say anything homophobic about this she will kill you. Two of these girls locked eyes right as they transferred in and immediately dropped everything to engage in a 24/7 ageplay dynamic. The other spoiled rich girl is secretly a cyborg and in love with the multiple personality girl, who wants to kill her as well.
This is by the author of infamous shotacon BL manga Loveless, so I guess all that is to be expected.
Also… Akiko Morishima got really into making doujinshi for this one? Sure.
youtube
Shlock: High
Lesbian: Yeah
Watchability: Pretty decent
Quality: Sure
Yuri Kuma Arashi
Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Bad Taste, It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point, Bears
Lesbian Bear Storm.
For my money, the best Ikuhara post-Utena work is Sarazanmai, but Yurikuma Arashi absolutely earns its spot on this list. The pieces of a story about how lesbian desire is used to titillate a male audience but never fulfilled, how desire is regulated and rendered hideous, and how girls enforce heteropatriarchy by manufacturing consensus completely independent of men are in there somewhere under the moaning naked girls licking honey off precisely-positioned lilies. I think? It’s well-directed, at least.
Shlock: Ikuni
Lesbian: Ikunirappa
Watchability: Ikunichauda
Quality: Ikunigomamonaka
(the first half of) Birdie Wing: Girls Golf Story
Content Warnings: Violence, Bad Taste, Incest but not really, Golf, The Threat of Having To Resort To Survival Sex Work Underlying This Stupid Golf Show
Birdie Wing is the story of a girl who hates golf and a girl who loves golf. Season two fails to make par because it loves golf too much; season one, with the baffling metaverse vr episode, the underground mafia roguelike golf-to-the-death course, the woman who golfs so hard her robotic arm explodes, and the inexplicable Bandai property references, is the way to go.
I hate golf in the way only an eldest daughter forced into golf lessons hates golf. When Birdie Wing hates golf – when Eve swaggers onto the course in her stupid outfits, refusing to adhere to any etiquette, uses only three clubs and slaps a ball directly into the flag to drop it straight down? I love that. When she lifts her driver and points it and says she’ll kill somebody with it? I love that.
Also like when Aoi says she’ll get her attention with this and pulls her extra long driver out and holds it like a strap. And then her beleaguered caddie talks about how Aoi pierces everyone through with an innocent smile. That was good.
The thing that stuck with me the most wasn’t actually any of the golf shenanigans – it was the way that Eve effectively shoots Aoi down when they discover that they shared a father and were therefore half-sisters. Well, it’s yuri – incest is just something you get used to. Except then it gets revealed that that was a fakeout, because Aoi’s dad was actually her dad’s best friend and her parents were in a throuple that the dad who raised her left behind to secretly raise Eve. Also her dad is Amuro Reiya and also Char Aznable is in this one? And the HG Turn A Gundam? Don’t forget to increment the Lesbian Cuckold clock up to five – Aoi herself and her poor caddy, who didn’t deserve a mysterious blonde swooping in like that.
Oh god I didn’t even mention Vipere, the slutty snake-themed bisexual underground mafia golfer (you know, for the underground golf mafia) who uses pheromones to control her opponents, gets outgolfed, and then shonen-rival style sticks around to help out whenever somebody needs a car (as the girls are too young to drive).
Shlock: Absolutely
Lesbian: Somehow
Watchability: High
Quality: Better than it had any right to be
Maria Holic
Content Warnings: Transphobia, Bad Taste, Fanservice
Kanako Miyamae is a hopeless hapless lesbian excited to attend Lily Yuri Girls Only Academy. She falls in love with a beautiful blonde girl, the queen of the school – and discovers her ideal gf is actually a boy crossdressing to attend the academy who wants nothing more than to torment her sexually.
Maria Holic works like this: Mariya wants something from Kanako, and wears a sexual little outfit/exposes his feet/blows her a kiss/strips his maid’s top off to control her through her sexuality or just because he feels like it and she falls over of anime nosebleed disorder before she remembers “oh right Mariya is a boy” and starts eating her own organs Pearl Steven Universe style. Occasionally a girl who calls herself god will say something uninteresting. Kanako has a little pervert fantasy about one of her classmates. The cast has a reference-heavy Studio Shaft Conversation. Kanako can’t get Mariya out of her head. God I had to retype every ‘him’ up there from a ‘her’ because there is no way that little bitch is anything but a girl – it just doesn’t stick in my head. They don’t make boys like that. Torturing a girl like that is a female trait.
If you don’t want to watch a lesbian get relentlessly edged by a brat this show may not be for you. In all honesty even with Studio Shaft direction I found this almost completely unwatchable but it does earn its slot here. If you want a good Studio Shaft yuri show? Go watch Madoka Magica or Hidasketch.
It does have an excellent opening though.
Shlock: High
Lesbian: Well it has at least one
Watchability: No
Quality: No
Re: Cutie Honey
Content Warnings: It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point. but god. Natsuko Aki
“Honey Flash!” yeah she sure does huh
Transforming android Honey Kisaragi fights against evil organization Panther Claw, with the reluctant help of her annoyed cop eventual bestie Na-chan. This is good, actually. Go watch it.
Seriously. The animation is so fun and vibrant! They do the super-cost-saving stills being moved thing in a very high-energy way that comes across as a reference to the original manga format and then every so often they’ll pull out absolutely incredible action sequences.
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Look at this!!! Her triangular stompy steps! The super low line count on her as she slowly advances with the gun flying toward her hand! Her Go Nagai snarl!!!!! It’s a real treat for the eyes even without the naked women. There’s only so much “saving your best friend by the power of being naked and kissing” you can do before it stops being bait and starts just being They Are In Love.
Shlock: Absolutely
Lesbian: NATSUKO AKI
Watchability: High
Quality: Yeah
Akiba Maid War
Content Warnings: Genre-Typical, No Spoilers Don’t Worry About it
Go watch this right now.
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Shlock: Less than you’d think
Lesbian: Yes
Watchability: Extreme
Quality: Genuine
A Very Specific Set Of Monogatari Arcs
Content Warnings: yeah that guy is sexually harassing that 11 year old and also that tiny little vampire and also both of his little sisters.
Show beloved by pretentious internet perverts.
Alright. You are going to watch Episodes 1-8 of Bakemonogatari Season 1, (skipping 3-5 depending on your tolerance for watching small girls getting sexually harassed) and then you are going to watch the five episodes of standalone arc Hanamonogatari, halfway through Season 2. If you really like Hanekawa, who is bisexual, watch 11-15, Neko Black and Neko White. If you really like animation, watch Kizu. Do not be tricked into thinking more of this show will be gay because Hanekawa and Senjougahara had sex in a shower once. If your goggles are really on tight, enjoy Nadeko Draw but you’ll have to sit through the previous Nadeko and Yotsugi arcs to get there and I can’t in good conscience recommend you do that.
Shlock: Less than you'd think
Lesbian: One
Watchability: SHAFT
Quality: Yes
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Uncoupled - July
Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader
Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.
Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?
WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.
SERIES MASTER LIST
The Uncoupling
---
You switched your phone off after calling Eddie, telling him you were out. Throughout that five minutes call, notifications and incoming calls kept appearing on your screen, driving you nuts. Eddie and his wife Annie were elated, telling you to not bother unpacking, their scheduled move was looking to be right on schedule, and you were moving in with them. No questions asked, not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Your niece was extremely excited; she had been given a basic modern Nokia since she was starting pre-school in autumn, the phone only had three numbers in it – Mommy, Daddy, and Beans. She had been calling you non-stop, asking you what you were doing and how many days were left until you move in with them. Annie had already threatened to confiscate the phone – the bill was shocking for a five-year-old with three contact numbers in her basic ass phone with no Wi-Fi or internet connection.
Tess and Frank had run out when they saw you park, eyes scanning the surroundings in case Max decided to follow you. You didn’t know why they thought that; the man was no James Bond. He was never going to come after you like that. Inundate you with phone calls? Maybe. But follow you? Nah… You’d need balls to do that, and you doubt he had any, despite being a man. You were greeted by Bill, Frank’s husband, as soon as you walked in, the stoic man hugging you tight, telling you he was proud of you for leaving that wimpy ass man. Frank shushed him before he could get too worked up. True, he had called Bill over to be a guard dog, just in case, but now that there was no threat to be seen, he didn’t want the man raising his blood pressure for no reason.
The three of them helped you set up your office, rearranging some things around so that you could be more comfortable. They had all offered their places for you to stay at while Eddie was still not here, but they lived with their partners in two-bedroomed houses, one of the rooms an art studio for Frank and an office for Andy, Tess’s girlfriend, who worked from home, so if you were going to end up on a couch anyway, might as well be in the privacy of your office. At least you could cry about your failed marriage alone. The bakery had a security system, and the PD was just around the corner, so you did feel safe being here, not to mention having a bakery meant waking up at ungodly hours to prep, so now, at least for two weeks, your commute was much shorter.
Actually, even after Eddie had moved in, your commute would still be short. Eddie bought one of the old houses from one of the first residence area when the town opened, which was just behind the school field a couple of blocks away. Somehow, he managed to find one that hadn’t been renovated at all, the couple who lived there a bit nostalgic about the place, having lived there all their married lives until the husband passed last year. The wife sold it at a steal, being sick and childless, having decided to move to a retirement home now that she was all alone. Andy was a real estate agent, and managed to tip Eddie about the sale, and he got it at first offer. He had all sorts of plans for it down the road, when he and Annie could build up their savings again.
According to Andy, the house was in great condition, clean and ready to move into. It’s just dated. You hadn’t seen it, too busy distracting yourself from thinking about your husband’s dalliances back then. Oh well, you’re sure Eddie made the right choice, the dependable, responsible man that he was.
The three insisted they stayed with you until dinner time, Andy arriving a little after closing with some Chinese. As depressing as the whole situation was, you were glad you had these people with you in your corners. You would have been in theirs too, if you’re honest. Frank and Tess had been your friends since college, taking the part time classes together. They had been working in the corporate world all their adult lives, making good money, but could feel their sanity waning. So when you told them your plan to open a bakery, they jumped at the opportunity to invest. Frank soon quit his job and took cake decorating classes, his first love being art all along, now designing gorgeous cakes for special occasions all over town instead of buildings, and Tess quit her job as a lawyer soon after, realizing that letting her frustrations out on dough had better repercussions than doing so on her bigoted and misogynistic colleagues.
So now, all three of you spent your days baking, decorating, chilling together in the bakery, the two of them making significantly less than they did before, but with much lower blood pressures.
Naturally, the subject of what happened at Jen’s house came up. You told them about your talk with Joel and the lovers’ reactions when they realized you were there, all of them looking scandalized by the happy couple’s pleading and begging. Really? Beg for what? Hmph!
They had all known Max for years, saw his change from the start. They saw first hand what he had put you through, and there was no doubt in your mind that they hated him for it.
“Oh! Joel said he liked our rice pudding! He said he bought them a lot. Joel is the mistress’s husband, by the way, if I wasn’t clear before.”
Tess, Andy and Frank sat up straight.
The teacher from the school? Tall? Broad as heck? Beard? Moustache? Curls for days?
Honestly, you had no idea who was asking the questions. You didn’t even know if he’s the same person they were talking about. You didn’t even know what he did for a living. Bill was the only one who seemed as in the dark as you were.
“Er… I don’t know for sure… but… yeah, I guess?”
Oh. My. God.
It was all three of them this time. Frank, Tess and Andy.
“What?”
“Max cheated on you with RPH’s wife?” Frank looked as if he wasn’t breathing.
“RPH?”
The three nodded enthusiastically.
“Rice Pudding Hunk. He comes in every day. Only buys rice pudding. Best 10 minutes of the day.”
Tess and Andy nodded again.
Bill’s head snapped towards his husband. “Rice Pudding what, now?”
“Oh, Bill, the guy is totally hot.”
“Super-hot,” Andy chimed in.
“Ridiculously hot,” Tess finished.
All three of them took a long, deep sigh, staring dreamily out of the bakery window.
Okay… you rolled your eyes and began fishing for broccoli in your Chow Mein. You were trying hard to get one particularly juicy, sauce-covered looking one with your chopsticks, your tongue out in concentration.
“So, did you get his number?”
Huh?
“Why would I get his number?”
“You know, share sob stories, vent, maybe… release a certain… need together.”
“What?”
“Hey, he’s really, really hot!”
“I have eyes, thank you.”
“So?”
“So, men looking like that do not go for women like me. You should’ve seen his wife. She looks like a Victoria’s Secret model, if they were only slightly taller than me. If plain old Max who had known me most of my life could find reason not to be attracted to me anymore, why the heck would someone looking like Joel want someone like me?”
“Hey, you’re totally cute.”
“Super cute.”
“Ridiculously cute.”
You rolled your eyes. So sweet of these people. But everyone knew what ‘cute’ meant. It meant ‘not hot’, that’s what it meant. You seemed to recall people questioning if Max, who by any measure was average looking, was really with you. To the general public, you were not even attractive enough to be with someone average looking.
That night, after they all left, you found yourself lying in the dark unable to sleep. For the first time since the age of 15, since you and Max became an official couple, you were alone. Did you even know how to be alone? Sure, you’d technically been alone since Max stopped paying any attention on you, but now, you’re really, truly, alone. You looked at your ring finger, the ring tan line still visible despite taking the ring off weeks ago, which Max hadn’t even bothered to notice.
Even having dinner with those four, tonight, it felt different. All this while, when you would be the fifth wheel to the two couples, you had never felt like the odd one out. You were in a couple too, but your supposed other half stopped hanging out with your friends once he found his new, fancy, hoity-toity ones. But you knew you had a partner, as absent as he was. It made you feel better, somehow, knowing you had him somewhere. But now…
You reached out for your phone and finally switched it back on.
As soon as the coverage was up, oodles of notifications came swarming in, about 100 from Max, and another 50 or so from a number you didn’t recognize, which, judging by the initial text, was Jen’s.
Max’s messages began with question marks, and then actual questions asking you what the fuck were you thinking? And then full-on raging at you for daring to leave him. Who were you to leave him? Who would take you now? Did you know how lucky you were that he even deigned to look at you? What man would take you? You were nothing without him. He’s leaving you, how about that? How did it feel to be dumped? Huh? The rage turned to bragging about what he and Jen were going to do now that you were out of his life. He could not wait until the year was up, so he could marry her.
And then, within the space of seconds, according to the time stamp, the bragging turned into pleading. Please reconsider. Please come home. The house felt empty without you. Please baby. Come back. Please.
By the time you finished reading his slew of texts, which ended with a big fat fuck you, you were exhausted. How you wished you could just block him, change your number, but Tess advised you not to do that, even her former colleague who you went to for advice told you not to. Keep the texts. The voicemails. For the divorce. So you settled with muting him for now. Maybe one day you’ll just get another number and keep this one just for him to call you every name under the sun at. But until then, muting would have to do. You switched the phone back off and went to sleep.
Huh. Who would’ve thought reading texts from your soon to be ex husband would make you feel better about being single again. He had been a huge presence in your life for half your life. You were fucking terrified, yes, but oh so glad that you left.
You wondered what Joel was feeling at that very moment. Was he sleeping soundly? Or was he just as terrified as you were to start fresh?
**********
Joel sat in his truck for what felt like hours when he got to Tommy and Maria’s. They were both not home yet, and even though he had the keys, he just felt like an intruder, going into their marital home without them being there. He rubbed his face, trying to calm himself. He had made the mistake of opening the first slew of texts Jen sent him when he got there. The texts, which started with her pleading for him to pick up her calls soon became nasty. One in particular stuck with him.
‘Where would you be without me, Joel? Huh? Who’s gonna take you in? What woman in their right mind would take a cuck like you in their lives? Women need strong men, Joel. Providers. Leaders. Not you. You couldn’t even feed me if you tried, Joel. You didn’t even leave when I told you I wanted to fuck other men. You are weak. Pathetic. Whoever you were running off to, Joel, would be a downgrade compared to me. So go, you pathetic, limp dick of a cuck!’
A cuck. That’s what she called him. A cuck. Because he didn’t run amok when he found out about her infidelities. Because he wasn’t making enough money. Because he didn’t assert dominance in their marriage.
It was as if he would lose either way. If he had been controlling of her since the beginning, he could just imagine the shit she would’ve called him. An abuser, a manipulator. When he didn’t, he’s a cuck. There was no winning with her. Did she even love him?
And yet, when she started begging, hugging his leg, he could feel his heart soften for her. This was the woman who used to tell him she couldn’t live without him. Even after everything she had done to him, hurled at him, he found himself unable to be rough with her. She was still his wife. The woman he tried his mightiest to make happy. As miserable as she had made his life these few years, there was a time he went hungry just so he could buy her an engagement ring worthy of his love for her. At that moment, when she tearfully clawed at the door handle of his truck, begging him to stay, he really thought he might cave. Until you drove by, beeping at him, snapping him out of the reminiscing his traitorous heart was making him do.
His phone had been vibrating non-stop since then. Calls, texts, voicemails, the likes. He couldn’t bring himself to look again. If they’re just more of her calling him whatever colourful names she could think of, he didn’t want to know. If they’re just more of her begging and pleas, he didn’t want to cave. He knew he needed to let this go.
Maria knocked on his window, asking him what he was doing outside. It’s boiling out here. Come on inside.
She helped him carry his stuff inside, despite his protests. They had turned her office into a room for him, an old futon from her old apartment all made up for him to sleep on. She asked him if he needed anything else and he shook his head, thanking her for letting him stay. She squeezed his hand in response, her heart broken for this gentle bear of a man. She’s making dinner, she told him. Take your time and come out when you’re ready, okay?
Joel sat on the futon, seriously wondering how life was going to be for him now. His phone was still vibrating incessantly, a number he didn’t recognize now joined in on the texts. He got up and asked Maria if she knew how he could mute someone. She had advised him not to block Jen, all the texts and voicemails could be evidence for the divorce. He was so thankful for her for her advice during all this. She had recommended a colleague of hers to represent him, pro bono. He owed her a favour, she had told him. He had asked her not to do that, but Tommy told him there was no use arguing with a lawyer.
It took her seconds to mute Jen for him, and that other number too, as she suspected that it was the guy she was with, going by the texts. He thanked her, rolling his sleeves to help her with dinner, despite her protests. Please, he said, let me at least do this for you, taking the knife from her hand and began chopping the onions she had started chopping.
He told Maria and Tommy what happened when he went to pick up his stuff during dinner, both of them scoffing at her dramatic clinging to his leg, begging him to stay. Hmph. Stay for what? Joel swore Maria’s eyes rolled up so high he couldn’t even see her irises at one point.
They had known Jen for a long time and saw how much she’d changed. They saw first hand what she had put him through, and he was quite certain that they hated her for it.
Thank God he had them in his life.
“So, the wife, what’s her name?” Tommy asked.
“Why?”
“She hot?”
“Tommy!” Maria smacked him on the shoulder.
“What? They’re kindred spirits. Their partners are already going at it, why not them? Doesn’t have to be anything serious, just… you know, for… stress relief.”
Maria closed her eyes, opening them again to give Joel an ‘I’m sorry’ look. Joel laughed, shaking his head.
“I just moved out, Tommy. I have no time, nor the mind or will to think about stuff like that. And she’s exactly in the same boat as I am, so, no.”
“But she is, hot?”
“She’s cute. She owns that bakery that sells those rice puddings near the school. Lil Beans?”
“Lily? Lily Williams? Jen is cheating on you with Lily William’s husband?” Maria shrieked, getting Tommy all excited that she had known you.
“What? You know her babe?”
“She’s my client. I’m handling her pending divorce. She’s Tess’s best friend, you remember Tess? I don’t think you’ve met but I’m sure I’ve told you about her. She used to work with me. Oh, she’s totally cute. Adorable as a bunny rabbit.”
“Tess?”
“No, you muppet, Lily! And she’s so nice, too. And a great baker. You should try something else at that bakery apart from the rice pudding. Everything she makes is delicious.”
“Yeah, Joel, you know there are other desserts other than rice pudding? You can’t keep having rice pudding you know. Explore a bit.”
Joel and Maria were quiet for a bit.
“Are you still talking about rice puddings? Or something else?” Joel asked Tommy.
“Look, brother, you are a loyal man, and that’s a good thing. But being loyal to Jen got you here. Maybe, now that you’ve left, you need to explore a bit. You’re a single good-looking man, there are others for you out there. Maybe Jen doing this with that guy is kismet. Maybe you and Lily should… you know, talk. Share experiences. Be ‘friends’,” Tommy did the air quotes, winking at his brother.
Joel scoffed and continued eating. Max made more than double what Jen did. Jen made sure to tell him that. If Jen could make him feel like a useless wimp for not being able to afford fancy holidays to take her on, what would you think of him? You must have been accustomed to a certain lifestyle being married to a man like Max, why would you lower your standards for some primary school teacher making pennies such as himself?
Joel went back to his room once he cleared the kitchen with Tommy, wanting to give his brother and his wife some alone time. He’s used to being the third wheel with them, but now, somehow, it just felt… off. For whatever reason, being the third wheel when he himself was in a couple felt different to now. Now he just felt like he was intruding.
Fuck. He’s single again. This was alien to him. He’d been with Jen for half his life, literally. Fifteen years. It’s all he knew. Even during those times she treated him the way she did, there was an ease in his mind knowing that he was not alone. But now, he just felt… lost. He looked at his ring finger, the tan line still there despite taking his ring off months ago, not that Jen noticed. He was a married man. He liked being married. Even now, knowing how miserable he was, he missed it. He missed having the routine of going home to someone.
Oh well, maybe it’s not meant to be.
He laid on his futon, taking the book he had started the day before to read. He could hear Tommy and Maria laughing at something they were watching on TV. He remembered the times he and Jen used to do that. God, what an idiot he was. He tried so hard, so many times to take her back to those times, remind her what they had together. It took him so long to accept that she was no longer interested in that life. She was no longer interested in him.
As relieved as he was that he left, he was terrified by what he was about to walk into. Could he be single again after all this time?
Sigh.
He wondered what you feeling at that very moment. Were you sleeping soundly? Or were you just as terrified as he was to start fresh?
**********
“Oh God, Eddie, was that door a time machine?”
You couldn’t believe your eyes. The house looked like it was stuck in the past. The wallpapers, the cabinetry, the bathrooms, the carpeting, all of it, it was basically the 70s.
“Shut up. It was cheap, it has room, and we could change things over the years,” Eddie was defensive, although you could see the glint of excitement in his eyes, his arm snaking around Annie’s waist from behind, hugging her so tight the woman squealed.
“Eww… Beans, make them stop. They’re always doing that!” Ellie shouted from the piggyback you had her on. You could just see her face then. So dramatic when it came to PDAs from her parents.
“Hey, you came from one of these, so you’re not one to complain, missy,” Eddie told her, making Annie slap his arms.
“Beans, what’s he talking about?”
“Nothing. Forget you heard that,” you told her, taking her to your room to unpack whatever small amount of belonging you had.
Annie had gone all girly auntie lady on your room, ordering the most princessy bed she could find at Ikea for you. The white metal kind with swirls and florets all over the curved and stylized headboard. She had been disappointed Ellie didn’t want one for herself, opting for the simpler black metal day bed, so she took her frustrations out on you instead. She was so happy to know she was having a girl, dragging you around the mall to buy every pink stuff she could find every time she and Eddie was in town to visit you. She was so deflated when Ellie grew up to not like pink at all, but being the awesome mother that she was, she let Ellie choose anything she liked.
And you? Despite your personal feelings about that bed, you were just thankful you had one at all. So you were not going to complain.
It took the three of you a whole week to unpack. As soon as the last box was flattened and placed with the recycling, you treated them all to a wonderful dinner at the fancy steak place in town, splurging as a thank you to your brother, his wife and their kind consideration for you.
You sat in the backyard with him as Annie tucked a sleepy Ellie in bed.
“Thanks Ed, for taking me in, I don’t know how to thank you,” you told him.
“What? Of course you do. I expect good dessert every day, thank you very much.”
You laughed out loud, feeling ever so grateful you had him in your life.
“You bought a nice place, Ed, it’ll be an awesome forever home someday. Once we fix it a bit. I promise I’m not gonna take too long to find another place, okay?”
“The fuck are you talking about? You’re staying. End of. Until you find yourself a man, one who can actually take good care of you this time, and I’m not talking about money, you are staying here with us. Annie agrees. We’re not taking no for answer. Plus, you want to tell Ellie her only aunt would rather live somewhere other than across the hall from her? I don’t want to do that. She’ll hate me for life.”
“Come on Ed, I can’t impose on you forever.”
“Nuh uh, nope. Listen to me, Beans, you’re family. We’re all each other has. Mom and dad would rise from the grave if they knew we live in the same town and not live together. You want to risk that?”
You laughed, laying your head on his shoulder.
“Plus, the house was gonna be yours anyway, if something happened to me and Annie.”
You lifted your head off.
“What are you talking about?”
“We finalized our will. If something were to happen to both Annie and I, you get the house, and custody of Ellie.”
“What the fuck, Ed? Why would you talk about something like that? It’s not funny!”
He gave you a very serious look.
“I’m being serious. We have a child, we have to think about these things. And we don’t trust anyone but you to take care of Ellie. You would take care of her, wouldn’t you? Like she was your own?”
“Of course I would, but I don’t like you talking about shit like this Ed. It’s not funny. If you die before me, I will kill you. You understand?”
Your eyes were filled with tears, the prospect and thought of him leaving you was just too much. He pulled you into a side hug, kissing your temple.
“Promise me you’ll stay alive Ed. What would I do without you? Don’t even talk about shit like that to me. Promise me, Ed. Promise me,” you sobbed.
He pulled you into a full hug, letting you sob into his shoulder.
“I promise Beans, I promise.”
**********
The bell to the front door of your bakery jingled. Tess yelled out that she would be right out, and for whoever it was to browse first. She was washing flour off her hands when you told her you’d take this one. Ellie’s voice was already piping up behind the counter. Who are you? What’s your name? What are you doing here? Why are you so old? Why is your face like that? The male voice that was trying to answer didn’t stand a chance – her questions were incessant, one after the other, like bullets.
“Ellie, what are you doing? Are you trying to scare my customers away now?”
“Hi, it’s you. Lily, right?”
Oh… it’s him. He’s here. You were always in the back when he dropped by apparently, you had no knowledge of the RPH until they told you.
“No, It’s not Lily. It’s Beans,” Ellie answered for you, standing on a chair so she could see over the counter, arms crossed on her little chest, her face a bit sceptical of Joel.
“Ellie, stop it. He’s a customer. Be nice.”
“It’s okay, really. I don’t mind. Hi, I’m Joel.”
“You are a man, right?”
Er… where were you going with this, Ellie?
“Last I checked, I am.”
“You have balls?”
“ELLIE!!!”
“What? Daddy said all men have balls. Except Max,” she looked at Joel and told him outright, “Daddy calls him No Balls Max.”
Oh dear God.
“Good to know,” Joel laughed, giving Ellie a fist bump, and then pretending to hurt his hand when she bumped it with her tiny fist.
Tess came out and gave Ellie a high-five. Good girl, she said, come on, let’s leave your auntie Beans alone with RPH. Bye old man, Ellie yelled as she followed Tess to the back.
“RPH?”
“Feel free to ignore them. Hi, what can I get you?”
“I’ll have the rice pudding and the egg tarts please.”
You got what he asked for, apologizing profusely for Ellie’s potty mouth. He laughed it off.
“That’s a smart kid. She’s gonna be a ballbuster one day. I take it that’s your niece?”
“Yeah… she starts pre-school in September, so until then she’s here with me while her parents work. It’s part of my lease agreement with my brother. And I cannot wait until she’s in school lest she runs all my customers off with her mouth!”
He laughed again, taking the paper bag, digging in his pocket for his card. You waved your hand at him. They’re on the house.
“You don’t have to do that,” he said, offering you his card anyway. You waved it off, telling him it’s a thank you for being there for you that day the two of you moved out. You were sure things wouldn’t have gone as well if he hadn’t been there.
“I’ll pay you back somehow,” he promised you, putting the card back in his pocket. “Thanks for these Lily, or Beans, apparently?” he looked at you questioningly, a curious smile on his face.
Your phone rang in your office. A story for another day, you told him. He nodded and tipped his proverbial hat at you, thanking you once more before leaving the store. You rushed to answer your phone.
“Hello, this is Officer Matthews calling from the County Medical Center, may I speak to Ms Lily Williams please?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“Are you related to a Mr Edward Williams and Mrs Anne Williams?”
Oh God.
“Yes, they’re my brother and sister-in-law.”
“Ms Williams, I’m sorry to inform you…”
The rest of Officer Matthew’s speech was garbled. You were under water. You couldn’t breathe. You dropped to the floor, Frank rushing in, his face panicked, asking you what was going on. Ellie came in after him, her face was the only thing you saw, despite Tess and Frank being right there next to her.
Frank took your phone off your hands, as you pulled Ellie in for a tight hug, hoping that you would soon wake up from this nightmare you were sure you were in.
---
August
#joel miller x reader#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#joel miller x you#roommate Joel Miller
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Welcome home |Choi Soobin|
Summary: soobin has been gone for months, just to think he wasn't coming home for Christmas. Well, that is what he told you.
paring: non!idol soobin x!female reader
genre: fluff
w.c: 2,058
Song of the day: Red lights by stray kids
s.masterlist
A/n: hehe let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!
ps. i miss my bunny boy :(
"You're kidding." It is the first thing that comes out your mouth that makes Soobin whine on the other end of the line and you had to fight the smile that would form on your lips. Soobin has been home for about two months to be with his parents to help out a little more. But that little more ended up turning to a third month because of the snow and he promised you that he'll be back, and you know he couldn't help that Mother Nature just wasn't on his side or yours for that matter.
"Baby I'm sorry, we got more snow later last night, if I can get my flight a little early tomorrow I'll be there Christmas morning I promise, you just have to trust me, you trust me, right Princess?" He says with a little hope that you trust in him. "Sadly yes." You hear him gasp in typical Soobin fashion making you giggle a little. "The fact my girlfriend doesn't trust me enough makes me feel like I need to work harder. But I have to go, I love you, baby."
"And I love you more." Soobin hangs up the phone and you sigh bring your phone from your ear and put it on the bed before getting up. Soobin and you have been together for about almost two years, and the relationship has had its ups and downs. Mostly from you and your own insecurities. To be honest, Soobin has been the only person who you truly loved. The only person who you know goes out of his way to make you feel happy and complete. You couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend.
"Soonie! Can you help me with this box?" Soobin's mother yells from upstairs in his family home. Soobin gets up from the couch and runs up the stairs to see his mom in one of the guest rooms. "Mom, what are you doing?" He chuckles and takes the box from her hands. His mother smiles and brings the front of her hand to wipe her forehead. "Well- wait you can just set it on top of that one in the corner. But I'm just doing a little bit of cleaning." She answers walks over to the closet and pulls out a thick white blanket. "Also when you go home later on tonight bring this to y/nie, I know she'll love it!" Soobin nods as he puts the box in the corner and also grabs the blanket his mother is holding up.
Soobin's family loves you, maybe they loved you more than they loved him but he could sacrifice his title for you any day. Especially his mother, from the first time she laid eyes on you, you won her heart and that's all it took for soobin to know that you were the one. Which now brings him to the present, how the hell was he supposed to get home without you knowing?
Yeah, soobin lied but he wanted it to be a surprise. He knew how much you missed him, and how much you understood. But he also knows that once you know that he lied about Not being able to come home you might hit him. But was it the price he was willing to take? Yeah. Because he missed you, he missed your smile and the sweet cinnamon smell that filled the room. He missed having you in his arms, and he also missed your lips. He loved to kiss you every single day. Just something about how your lips felt on his that made him feel complete, right at home. "I'm sure she'll love it take you, Mom." He mumbles and kisses his mother on the cheek before grabbing the blanket from his mother and walking out of the guest bedroom to his own room to finish packing the rest of his things.
It was around 7:30 when Soobin got off the phone with yeonjun early that morning to make sure you were out of the house. He walks into the house and drops his suitcase on the floor before he lets out a big sigh. The whole house smelled like baked cinnamon rolls and vanilla, a smell he could never not like. He noticed you moved a few things around, like the couch and the book shelve. In the corner of the living room stood the Christmas tree you two put up every year, this year you had to put it up by yourself which made Soobin feel a little bit sad. But he promises he'll make it up to you one way or another.
"Alright let's get started."
"Is it good?" Beomgyu asks you when he sits next to you at the kitchen table. He had made you some pancakes, a new family recipe he wanted to try for you. You nod and take another bite before reaching for your water. You have been over to yeonjun and his best friend Beomgyu's house for a few hours, ever since he got you this morning. And as much as you loved the two of them it was getting closer to 12 in the afternoon, and you really wanted to go home and just sit on your couch. "So, y/n? You know we love you dearly right?" Yeonjun says when he puts his cup down on the table. You nod looking at him. "Yeah? Did you do something wrong?"
His eyes widen for a moment before waving his hands in the air. "Pfft! No! I just, you have to stay here for another hour or so...Because we miss you so much! Right Beomgyu?"
"Who's we- ow. Yeah!" Beomgyu mumbles beside you. Another hour? You don't know how much you could take being with them. And as much as you want to argue you know that Yeonjun doesn't back down, he's stubborn just like his best friend that's next to you. So maybe another hour wouldn't be so bad.
But you spoke too soon when the two started to argue over the show you three were watching. "But I don't understand, how come he doesn't know it's her? I mean she's pointing out everything as they talk on the phone."
"Would you know if I sat up there and said I wasn't happy in my marriage but I'm not saying it as ME, I'm saying it as the PERSON I'm talking about," Beomgyu says passionately to his best friend and it makes Yeonjun huffs out loud and cross his arms against his chest. "Still, I would have known it was you once you started calling when I'm not around you." He points out and Beomgyu nods a little before speaking. "It's a kdrama, it's building character development." His sentence makes you chuckle just a bit.
"What do you know about character development?" Yeonjun asks him and Beomgyu shrugs. "Nothing, I'm just Beomgyu. A guy who lives a boring life and lives with his best friend who happens to have no bitches on his roster but claims he does- how does Kai have more bitches than you Junie?" You let out a big sigh when the two start to argue again, you don't make out a lot of what they're saying most of it is mixed with Korean but you do know once Yeonjun says something about Beomgyu's past relationship his face sinks and his mouth forms into a frown and he stops making jokes. Yeonjun smiles as if he just defeated the biggest boss ever before he looks at his phone. "Alright, it's time to drop you off now y/n let's go."
You wave at Yeonjun one last time as he pulls out of your driveway before driving down the street. You walk into the house, and take your shoes off before putting your coat on the coat hanger next to the door. Food fills your nose when you walk more into the living room making you pause. Food? Is your mother here? The house was spotless, and then you hear sweet jazz playing in the kitchen. "Binnie?" You say as you walk into the kitchen. You see your boyfriend over the stove, flipping steak in a pan, the kitchen towel over his shoulder. He turns his head a little and smiles. "Hi baby."
"soob!" Soobin lets out a deep laugh when he sees you run over to him and give him a hug, taking the air out of his chest. Soobin missed this, he missed you, he missed your smell, your hugs. He kisses the top of your head before pulling away. He hears you sniffle and he looks down and frowns. "Why are you crying, love? Please don't cry." He mumbles and wipes your tears from your cheek. You chuckle and sniffle before shaking your head. "I just, I miss you so much Binnie, don't leave again okay?" He nods and kisses the tip of your nose before putting his lips on yours giving you a small peck. "Alright let me finish dinner, you go ahead and freshen up okay?" You giggle and nod before walking away from him and walking down the hallway to the bathroom.
When you come back you don't hear the jazz music playing anymore. Soobin sets down two plates on the table and goes back to the kitchen. You sit down at the table and look at the food in front of you. One thing about Soobin is that he knows food is the one thing to your heart. If you're sad, or mad he knows he can make you your favorite food. That's the one thing Soobin was attracted to you was the love of food, he's just like you in a way. You could put this man to bed and he still would want food the next day.
Sex for him wasn't everything.
"This is food is good bin." You say as you start to eat, cutting into the juicy steak. Soobin cheeks turn red, and he finds his hands into his face letting out a light giggle. "I didn't do much." He mumbles in his hands making you giggle with him. "It's still good love, keep cooking like this and I might never leave you."
Soobin takes his hands out his face and he smirks before grabbing his glass of wine. "Isn't that the point baby?" He brings his glass to his lips and takes a sip. "If I had it my way I'll put a ring on your finger and have a little us running around, but we can't do that can we?" Soobin lets out a laugh when he sees you roll your eyes and bring another piece of steak to your mouth. It's easy for Soobin to think about a future with you. Which is surprising because with every relationship he has had, you're the first. You're the first for him to want to have kids. You're the first for him to want to actually get married. And if that doesn't scream, I love you then Soobin doesn't know what it'll take for you to see that. But the way you smile and laugh with him throughout the dinner, he knows you also know his love for you.
"Soobin?" You say as you look away from the TV screen. Soobin hums taking his eyes from the movie in front of him and looks down at you. All you can do is smile and bring your hand to his cheek, rubbing your thumb against it. "This is by far the best Christmas ever..thank you." You hear him let out a chuckle. "I didn't do much baby.."
"But you did enough, this. Being with you, being around you. You surprised me and even brought back my favorite chocolate. That's enough. You are enough. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas, my love." Soobin leans in, bending down to put his lips on yours before looking at you, his dark brown eyes staring down back at yours, his orbs sinking you into a dark abyss. "And I love you baby, merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you my love."
TAG LIST!
@rapmonie2047 @lattyjiji @lusciaa1 @lalagilmoregirly @muchwita @kimynsblog @marcellaxworld @aripandaception @angelicicy @bella-feed @me-from-the-moon @ctkvi @bangchansmami @babiekooks @m88nstar @shannon0310 @trohmantics
(if you are tagged I seen that you liked the series master list and just assumed you wanted to get more updates lmao, if you don't please let me know!)
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Excerpt from Chapter 6 - The Smithes
“So, you’d rather spend the rest of your life cultivating a platonic friendship with the man who’s most definitely your soulmate?” “If that’s my only option, yes.” Oh, God. Aziraphale really believed this bullshit. Maybe this time Maggie needed a more brazen approach. She closed her eyes and took a deep sigh to muster up the strength she needed for her next words, “Aziraphale Fell, you are a complete IDIOT if you think that Anthony J. Crowley doesn’t love you back. That man has been head over heels for you for five years, honestly, how can you not see? I don’t care how you do it, just TALK TO HIM!” Aziraphale pouted, “Nina’s having a bad influence on you.” “Thank God!” Maggie retorted. “I’m serious, Az. Have you got any idea how many times Crowley has asked me about you at work? ‘Oh, Maggie, does Aziraphale like this book?’ ‘Hey, Mags, do you happen to know if Aziraphale is already planning to go see this play?’ ‘Maggie, can you find me this Shostakovich record for Aziraphale?’ – He’s so obvious, and it infuriates me that you two aren’t together yet!” Aziraphale looked flabbergasted. Oh, so he never knew about this? “But– the other night–” “Forget it, will you?” Maggie raised her voice again. “Have you considered that maybe he was just as embarrassed as you were? As scared as you?” Aziraphale seemed to ponder on her last words for a moment. “Oh, Maggie.” He finally spoke. “I think you might be right. It’s time I stop living in fear and try to be brave. I need to tell him that our friendship isn’t enough for me anymore. That I wish we could have… something more.” Maggie was so taken by her attempt at helping Aziraphale that she got very irritated when people started going back and forth behind them. Someone was going back inside after their cigarette break (right now, Maggie would do literally anything for a hit) while others were getting outside to take their place. “And what about Brown?” Aziraphale snorted, “I have a feeling that Brown already knows that I’m hopelessly devoted to him. I did so little to hide it. It’s time he understands that I love him more than anything in this world.” Once again, Maggie heard the door opening and closing behind them. But she didn’t care anymore, because Aziraphale had just come to the conclusion he should have reached approximately 1800 days before. “Oh my God, this is so exciting I want to cry!” She jumped, her voice all squeaky. “You’re really doing this?” Aziraphale beamed at her, “I am. And you know what? So are you.” Maggie’s good mood changed drastically, “I am what now?” “You’ll tell Nina that you love her. And I know she’ll say it back.” Maggie lost all of her confidence, “Wh-Why are you sure she’ll say it back?” Aziraphale just shrugged, “Because it’s Christmas. And at Christmas you tell the truth.”
Betaed by @hermiola 💛💛💛
TAG LIST @firephoenix2305 @on1occasionfork @moralsofanalleycatsposts @captainblou @bellisima-writes @shadesofecclescakes @ineffablerainstorm @pookasluagh @somewhere-in-wales @missunderstoodlyrics
The Grass is Always Greener - Ch. 1
It’s almost Christmas in Whickber Street, a quiet neighborhood in the little town of Tadfield. Mr Brown sees the upcoming holiday as the perfect chance to throw a party to impress Mr Fell, the charming bookseller who lives next door. He must deal with Mr Crowley, though, an annoying astronomer who moved to Tadfield five years prior and became best friends with Mr Fell. Mr Crowley and Mr Fell both secretly wish that their relationship was something more, but they are two idiots, so they keep on pining for each other under the scrutiny of Comma, Crowley’s very insightful cat. ~ A Good Omens Christmas AU ~
A huge shout out to my Beta @hermiola 💛💛💛
For @pookasluagh, @ineffablerainstorm and @somewhere-in-wales
Excerpt from Ch. 1 - Utterly Ridiculous
“It’s the most — wonderful Christmas instalment I’ve ever seen, Crowley.” Mr Brown tried to ignore the fact that his response was coming along with the chorus of Somebody To Love – and was that a blush on Mr Fell’s face? “How did you build this up on your own? I’m pretty sure this wasn’t here yesterday.” Mr Fell looked extremely impressed. And also in awe. How Mr Crowley hadn’t realised that their neighbour was obviously enamoured of his presence was a mystery worthy of being studied. “Oh. Well, uhm. You know. Yeah, mmm, I just… I worked on it last night.” “Sounds like an impossible job for only one person,” Mr Fell noticed. “Not impossible, no. Just… intricate.” “I didn’t picture you as a modern music lover, Mr Fell.” Mr Brown interjected, trying to spark his interest (to no avail), but sparking one of Mr Crowley’s infamous glares, instead. “Oh, well, I’m not a fan of… bebop, per se,” Mr Fell elucidated, immediately thwarting Mr Crowley’s attempt to retort, “But I’ve become quite accustomed to Queen. Sometimes it feels like it’s the only music that Crowley’s car likes playing.” Mr Brown ignored the fact that Mr Fell was talking about an inanimate vintage Bentley as if it were a sentient being. “It’s rock, Aziraphale, for god’s sake!” Mr Crowley immediately moved his tongue in his mouth as if he was trying to deal with the lingering of a very bad taste. “And to be fair… it is a bit loud, my dear.” Oh, Mr Brown would have given an arm to be called that. But he was already sadly and pathetically aware of the fact that the possessive adjective only applied to a scrawny-man-in-black. Another thing that the idiot hadn’t realised yet, apparently. Perfect, now the idiot was smiling that smug smirk of his. Mr Crowley manifested a remote control from a pocket of his far too light jacket (it was December, how could he cope with going around almost undressed?!) and pressed a combination of buttons. The music changed, and Queen gave way to a very soft and mellow piano track. Mr Fell recognised it immediately and put his hands on his cheeks. Brown couldn’t tell if they’d just reddened for the cold or because he was blushing. “Oh, Crowley! It’s Debussy.” Brown witnessed impotent as Mr Fell gawked at Mr Crowley with that look in his eyes. “I asked the project designer to add a second combination to play at night. I didn’t want Freddie’s vocals to keep the whole neighbourhood perpetually awake for a month.” “Debussy’s Clair de lune is my favourite piano piece.” Mr Fell’s hand was metaphorically on his heart, now. “I know,” came Mr Crowley’s bashful answer. Mr Brown sighed in exasperation. You see, one could only stand a certain dose of languid looks of understanding between these two idiots. And when you were forced to witness such knowing looks day after day, after day… Well, let’s just say you would have developed a slight idiosyncrasy towards redheads too.
#ao3 fanfic#ao3#ineffable idiots#ineffable husbands#good omens#good omens human au#good omens au#good omens fan fiction#aziraphale#aziracrow#crowley#the grass is always greener#david tennant#michael sheen#good omens 2#good omens 3#my fanfiction#Christmas fluff
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Reading up on the people on my election ballot and there's some combination of "can ANYONE tell me what their policies actually are???" (Specifically with the smaller offices) VS "Oh, so YOU'RE the reason why Indiana has an abortion ban! Duly noted!"
#speculation nation#there are 4 indiana justices with retention up for a vote (on my ballot at least) and 3 of them signed the abortion ban shit.#so guess who im going to vote against retention for :]#i know theyre not policy makers in the same way that the governer or whatever is#technically theyre just there to make judgement calls about what the law actually Is.#but. But. that doesnt change the fact that theyre the ones that signed the abortion ban into place.#So What if they didnt make the policy themselves? they still chose to steamroll opposition and put into place a ban from the early 1800s#indiana is among the 16 worst states for abortion now. thanks to these assholes.#And So. well apparently indiana's never successfully voted against retention for any of its justices#but Why Not Start Now? im fuckin pissed. a lot of people are fuckin pissed. and these 3 justices have got to go.#we dont get to vote for who takes their places but at least they MIGHT be justices that are willing to hear us out.#and regardless. i want to get back at them for it. :] so even if they Technically did their jobs. i want them Out.#anyways i went looking at the representatives and senate seats and the democratic nominees seem fine.#some of the smaller offices dont have democrats running. just republican or libertarian.#dear god help me im gonna be voting for a republican this election. just one.#specifically bc it's an office that doesnt have anything to do with politics. and the guy running against her seems uhhhh#like he really doesnt care for the position?? he just wanted to put libertarians in more view.#so im like. ok for this one we really should have the person who's already got experience with the job and actually Cares about it.#for some of the other ones... god i dont know. these were the ones who were awful about listing their policies.#might just not touch the county school shit at all. theres Nothing on these people online and i have no direct stake in this#man. many things to think about. i still got some time b4 im voting but i wanna be prepared.
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Having brain worms. What if uhhhhhh SOS Mianite au
#this is a fully undeveloped idea but it is simmering#initial thoughts. mog is so champion of ianite. fwip is dianite's.#I'm not convinced of who mianite's is yet but i feel like sausage is desperately vying for the role and getting repeatedly rejected#oli ends up as a reluctant ianitee. he was originally a dianite follower but dianite found him annoying and was a dick so oli ditched him.#ianite finds him funny and decides to pick him up and now he's trying very hard not to mess it up bc she actually respects him#joel would claim not to need any stupid god until he sees how much fun fwip is having causing problems on purpose with dianite and gives in.#his wife joining up with dianite probably also doesn't desuade him in that department#jimmy isn't particularly keen on any of them. he's off doing his own thing#katherine feels very classic mianitee to me.#I've got mixed feelings on Pix. i kind of feel like he should be on his own thing (priest? wizard? something like that)#if not he's ianitee i think. but it takes him awhile to commit#joey's dianitee. eloise feels ianitee to me. shubble probably mianitee.#is that everyone? i think that's everyone#idk if this would be a scenario where the world/plot was more based on mianite or sos honestly#maybe a healthy mix.#do we keep the death/fate coin element? idk idk maybe not? but it doesn't feel like sos without some hardcore element#gotta sit on it#this is the first time in a long time I've just done like straight up stream of consciousness brainstorming in the tags of a post huh#feels very 2020#OWEN I FORGOT OWEN. UH. i feel like he might help balance out the mianite team. i can't put it into worlds but it feels right#he's the type of guy that you look at and immediately think dianite and you're wrong#but i could be tempted to switch him and joey. cause joey did have the whole prison thing in sos which is very mianite#even if he's generally the most dianitee guy i have ever fucking seen#i. i also forgot scott.#embarrassing. I've been watching him the longest and he's the only one on this list I've actually written into mianite crossovers before#uhhhh anyways he feels very true neutral to me. he's another one who i feel like maybe he should be off doing his own thing#if not probably mianite#this is such a mess lmao#i had to put the idea down somewhere before my head exploded sorry
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bsd prediction: tanizaki transfers to the mafia. the family naomi is a part of is mori’s.
#thoughts#/#i think this would add another layer to tanizaki’s assassination attempt against mori#either that or - the more unlikely option imo - her family are descendants of fyodor#either of his original body directly#any relatives he had from his original body#or the children of one of the bodies he inhabited over the years#both theories are working entirely off similarities in appearance though#for all we know tanizaki might be using his ability 24/7 to make her look completely different#if that’s the case then that opens up more possibilities#the final arc is going to be about agatha so if naomi is secretly blonde then we know who she might be related to#edit: in relation to tanizaki knowing mori#he may have met him in anne’s room but that just means he didn’t know mori’s face#he could only be aware of naomi’s family name and nothing more#adding this to my list of bsd theories that range from normal to never happening#somewhere alongside natsume is biologically related to either atsushi or the orphanage headmaster#and atsushi once got so hungry while reading in the orphanage’s library that the tiger took over and started munching on the bookshelves#specifically the bookshelf with The Book on it#“atsushi-kun do you know why fyodor thinks you’re the key to the book?” “oh that’s because the tiger ate it lol” “…what.”
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"Fiiiiine. Just th' tip." He teased, the glint in his eyes reflecting the double connotation. Pentious should just be glad he had stopped doing the harder drugs quite awhile ago. It wasn't until Cherri had convinced him to use while at Consent that he had done anything other than cocaine or alcohol in quite some time. Well, and Valentino's poison. Which as the snake talked, got Angel worried how that might impact the baby.
He tried not to think about that, thought that they'd cross that road when they came to it. It wasn't like he actively had a choice in that indulgement, as Val would very often grab his chin and shove his tongue down his throat to get Angel more pliable and willing for his shoots. Maybe it wouldn't matter since it was...natural? Spit was natural, yeah? It wasn't like it was some synthetic drug that would mess things up.
He only shot out of his own thoughts on that with the mention of food, laughing lightly. "We gonna be awake f' fuckin' days wit' that much espresso." Hands moving to gently brush along the edge of Pentious' hood, tilting his head in innocence. "Probably will help since ah' think we'll be up f' days tryin' t' get pregnant." Not that either of them would have any complaints about that.
Thinking about the meal as if it would be his last, Angel tapped his chin. "Ah'd naturally list my comfort foods, but ah'm sure yeh'll be spoilin' me wit' all that once ah'm knocked up. Assumin' ah' still crave that shit." He felt they should probably eat things that would not be good for the baby, just so he wouldn't be suffering without it for nine months. (Did sinner pregnancies take nine months? Other shit to figure out). But he couldn't help his own cravings at the moment.
"Mmmm, can we get some New York cheesecake? Gotta be New York. So many places use th' fake whipped cream cheese shit, and it just ain't natural." Tongue stuck out in overdramatic disgust, hands pressed to Pentious' chest now as he pushed the rest of himself against the other. "Yeh' spoil me so good, daddy~. Gonna be such a good father t' our little one."
Pentious paused to think, though the obvious, logical answer already scratched at his mind. It was a lovely and tempting, yet terribly irresponsible idea. One slip-up in their fragile sobriety could lead to some serious problems down the line.
...But it's so hard to say no to Angel. And he knew the arachnid would never willingly put their future family at risk. He was strong. Very strong.
"...Only one tip of a spoon then, my love. It has to be all out of your system when we begin, after all," Pentious settled with, hoping that his resolve didn't come across as condescending.
"I want you to be as healthy as you can be," he continued, kissing Angel again. "For you and the baby."
His own eyes glinted back at the mischievousness of his lover.
"How many take-out bags of sushi and cups of espresso do you think we would be able to intake in one night?" he asked, pulling the other Sinner closer. Always eager to spoil Angel and possibly hear that teasingly uttered nickname when he does.
"Along with the champagne. And what else would you like, my resourceful and brilliant darling?"
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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