#if he had he wouldn’t have to go through all this shit
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Okay, I’m not coping well with the emotional whirlpool I’m experiencing after Mastermind. And this scene right here:
Is something that is haunting me. Because it’s not difficult to see what troubles lie ahead for them, what consequences await for the events of the trial. What do we already know about Blitz? That he has deeply hated himself for many years. Maybe he felt slightly better after Millie’s monologue in Ghostfuckers, but I think we all know that such a deep seated hatred of oneself doesn’t disappear in a single conversation. This much is clear by the pictures in Blitz’s apartment still being blacked out that we can see in the background in Mastermind. And any relief he may have felt from Millie’s sincere story is going to be completely shattered.
I have no doubt personally that Blitz has always thought he ruined Stolas’ life. He’s not a stupid man; he’s observant. He knows the struggles Stolas has gone through with the advent of their deal and relationship. He’s seen the wedge he put between him and his daughter. He knows the kind of hell the divorce has put him through. But now?
If there was any doubt he ruined his life before, it’s gone now. Because Stolas has now utterly, and completely, lost everything. His titles, his status, his wealth, his home, his power. All that’s gone. But worse? He’s entirely lost his daughter now. Blitz will probably never forgive himself for that. I mean shit, he literally said this:
Stolas is a much more powerful being than Blitz. But Blitz believes he deserves to die rather than put Stolas in harms way. Blitz will probably be wishing that he died rather than live with the fact that he’s brought Stolas low. Stolas’ punishment is far longer than Blitz’s life span. The consequences of saving his life will outlive him. There no chance Blitz will accept this as Stolas’ choice. Not only will he have to deal with the trauma of the trial before Stolas arrived, but also the result of what it’s done to the man he loves more than life itself.
But Stolas? Stolas would do it again. The way he says it, “Always”, is just so raw and softly powerful. Because he’s just had his powers ripped from his body. He’s lost it all, he’s lost his child. But he would do it again. There was no other choice to be made. There was no alternative. He said it himself:
Stolas is a suicidal figure. He prepped his daughter for the day he wouldn’t be around. He doesn’t value himself or his life at all. He’s suffered tremendously. He probably already believes he’s lost his daughter. His daughter has made it clear that she hates him. Outside of Blitz, who is his light in the darkness, his soulmate and true love, what does he have to live for? To Stolas this was a no brainer. He went to that block with dignity. He was so willing to die for his love.
So when Blitz thanks him for saving his life, Stolas, breathless and weak, says “Always”, because he will always love him, need him, cherish him. He will always put him above himself, which is something Blitz wouldn’t understand but is second nature to a gentle spirit like Stolas. Stolas who escaped the torments of his life in his books, who is humble and sweet with a lowly imp because his body and soul needs Blitz like he needs air. A true romantic, a soft demon who gave it all up for love and would do it again.
Always, he says, and means with every syllable.
#helluva boss#helluva boss stolitz#stolitz#helluva stolas#blitz x stolas#helluva boss stolas#stolas x blitz#stolas goetia#blitzo buckzo#blitzø#helluva blitz#helluva boss blitz#blitzo#helluvaverse#mastermind helluva
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can you write about the sexy fish man (you know the one)
why yes of course i know which sexy fish man you're talking about!
soft hits, hard truths
sebastian solace x reader ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ slight nsfw
artwork: artwork is NOT mine. art is by @grub-hut on tumblr. go check out their work. sebastian mf solace, everyone
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
summary: after a misunderstanding, sebastian refuses to let you go to bed angry with him. determined to make amends, he begrudgingly starts a pillow flight.
cw: sebastian solace x reader, fluff-ish, suggestive themes of intimacy (MDNI), sebastian is bad at comforting, he tries anyways, you've known him for a few weeks now, a sort of romantic relationship is already established between you two, his shop has a shower and spare mattress in the back, thank goodness he had soap and pajamas, amends are made if you know what i mean
wc: 916
a.n: in honor of beating pressure and sacrificing my posture in order to do it, cheers.
· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·
water droplets fall onto the cement floor as you wring the rest of your wet hair dry. fortunately, sebastian solace had allowed you to stay in his shop for the rest of the night after a day of running from the monsters of the hadal blacksite. unfortunately, you had just found out that he was the primary reason you were being chased by said monsters in the first place.
you walk out of the barely functioning restroom into a cozy little cubby-space just behind his shop. sebastian watched you dry the rest of your hair as you walked towards a broken mirror and started combing through it with your fingers. fuck, he thought to himself. he so badly wanted to be the one to brush the rest of your hair just so you didn't have to lift a finger. but of course he wasn’t going to say that out loud.
"will you talk to me?" he mumbled under his breath, making his way towards you. you eye him from the mirror but continue doing what you're doing. you feel his presence behind you and sure enough, you watch him lean down and rest his forehead against your shoulders.
you smelled like vanilla. you smelled like the vanilla he used to smell during the winter holidays and it was driving him insane. "i'm sorry, okay?" he whispers. now this caught your attention. "did the sebastian solace just say the words 'i'm sorry' to me?" you turn around and walk towards the makeshift bed. he follows you. "i don’t believe it.” a sigh escapes your lips, plopping down onto the mattress and covering yourself with the blanket. you turn away from him.
“i didn’t mean for things to turn out this way- well, okay i did, but i didn’t expect meeting you midway through my plans.” sebastian scratches the back of his neck, staring at your figure. “fishbait, if you hadn’t crawled through the vents and into my shop, i wouldn’t care who gets eaten by those monsters. but you did, and now it sucks seeing you get hurt because now i…”
he trailed off, his voice catching. shit, this was hard. years of solitude and roaming the dreadful cold hallways of his captors’ prison had hardened his heart. he didn’t expect it to happen, but your presence and excessive bantering had brought back an excitement in him (though he would always mask it off with annoyance). all sebastian knew was that even though life sucked, seeing you made it suck less. he couldn’t take it anymore. he needed to hear your voice again. the void of silence between the two of you was starting to create an atmosphere of distance. he couldn't care less if the world hated him, he hated it back. but there was no way in hell he would allow you to look at him with such loathing. panic settling in him, sebastian impulsively does something that catches you off-guard. he grabs the nearest soft pillow and throws it in your direction. it hits your face.
you quickly turn around and sit up to shoot him a sharp glare, pillow now in hand. “are you serious?” you seethe.
“i’m dead serious,” he said, grabbing another pillow. “you’re mad at me? fine. but you’re not shutting me out.” before you could react, he throws a second pillow. this time, it lands in your lap.
he notices a flicker of something crossing your face - anger, disbelief, and… maybe a hint of amusement.
“big mistake,” you shoot him a sly smile.
you launch the pillow in his direction and suddenly, there was war. more pillows flew, tension unraveling with each hit. the both of you were laughing now, dodging attacks and running around the small room. it wasn’t fair that he was larger than you in size but you could make do. and plus, he was extra careful in making sure not to hit you too hard. and here in this moment, seeing another side of him, you realize that you could never stay mad at sebastian solace for too long.
tired from the fight, you trip onto the mattress and fall backwards. he follows suit and lands on top of you, your faces inches apart, panting and out of breath. he supports himself with one arm as he gazes at you with an unreadable expression. “do you forgive me?” he whispers, breathless. the room was a mess, but your silence had been broken.
you plant a soft kiss on his forehead. it was truly unfortunate that the both of you were placed in this prison against your wills, but you knew that he would never intentionally hurt you. “i forgive you.”
oh fuck, he melted. impulsively, he slides one of his hands behind your back and pulls you closer to him, taking your mouth in his, kissing you fervently. your arms tighten around his neck, kissing him deeper, soft moans and grunts replacing the silence. in a heated frenzy, you guide one of his hands downwards. he grumbles as he lifts your shirt up, trailing wet kisses down your stomach.
you smile, feeling the warmth of his mouth. “to make up for you nearly killing me, does this mean i get a discount at your shop tomorrow?”
he laughed, a warm, deep and genuine sound that softened the space between you. “i’d give you a discount every day for free, fishbait… but this,” he whispers sliding down your pajamas, “this is just a huge bonus.”
· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·
#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#pressure#sebastian x reader#junovae#pillow fight#letters to juno#pressure roblox
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Friendsgiving
Hi so we are going to ignore the fact that it is nearly 2 am but here I am with a fic that I started today because of this tik tok that I saw a few hours ago and I immediately went 'fic'. So, here we are
Warnings: none
WC: 5845
Enjoy!
__________________________________________
“Why and how are you in Vancouver?”
“Don’t hate me.”
“Oh, my god, did you move to Canada without me? You moved and didn’t even tell me.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at what you hoped was Lena’s unnecessary panic that you heard through your phone speaker, trying to navigate your way through the airport that you had never been to before. “No, I’m just probably doing something stupid.”
“And you’re doing it without me?”
“Leen, I’ll catch you up later, ok?”
“Am I going to have to make sure you don’t end up in a ditch?”
“You should probably watch my location for the next few days,” you say, in all seriousness. “But I have to go, I love you, bye.”
You hang up on your best friend as you hear her screaming on the other end about calling the authorities, knowing that she wouldn’t actually do that. Actually, she might. But you can’t think about that right now.
You were trying to find Brock, despite the fact that you had never met him in person and stupidly agreed to fly to Vancouver on a day's notice from your home the week of Thanksgiving.
You couldn’t believe the last couple of days of your life. You had posted a silly photo of you and your friends at your annual Friendsgiving. You always got together the Friday before, and had been doing so since middle school when your parents still had to either make the food for you, or had to be in the kitchen with you heavily supervising the entire time. This year was the 15th year in a row that you had all gotten together, celebrating in a much bigger fashion than you had in years past; you all dressed up, you all brought the food in the best serving dishes you had instead of the Dollar Tree tin dishes you all normally brought, you had the fanciest bottles of wine you could afford littering the table, and you had even all planned to stay over together for the first time, continuing the event into the morning.
Brock had messaged you because of the photo. You were mutuals, having some of the same friends in college but never actually interacted with each other.
All of your friends talked about how you two would get along so well, but it seemed like every time you were supposed to meet, something happened that prevented you from doing so. There was the one party you were supposed to go to with your friends, that you had been planning on going to all week until you got food poisoning from the dining hall. There was the class you were supposed to take together until his practice times got changed and ended up conflicting with the class. You were supposed to go to a formal together as each other's dates until he slept through his alarm and missed the bus to the venue.
You were always supposed to meet, until you didn’t.
But then you got the message from him a few days ago asking if you wanted to come to his Friendsgiving that he was going to with his American teammates.
It was easily the craziest thing you had done in your life, saying yes to flying out to Vancouver the next day to meet a guy you had never actually met in person, or really talked to before those messages.
It made you realize you really hadn’t done much with your life.
You walked through the airport, trying to see if you could find the guy you would be spending the next couple of days with by the baggage claim where he told you he would meet you.
You finally see him, the blonde head of hair sticking out to you for an unknown reason.
You knew from his pictures on his account that he was attractive, but, shit, he was gorgeous in person.
He was also dressed up way more than he should be for someone to be waiting for a stranger in an airport; he was in a full suit and tie, his hair looking like he had just gotten out of the shower and styled it immediately.
“Hi,” he says to you when he sees you, a smile on his face making your heart skip a beat.
You didn’t even know this guy. “Hi,” you manage to get out as he pulls you in for a hug. “You look good, all dressed up.”
Brock reaches for your bag, taking it off your shoulder and walking you out of the airport. “Thanks.”
“Why are you dressed up?”
“We’re on our way to the game.”
“We?”
“I didn’t tell you?”
“Do I look like I’m dressed for a hockey game?”
Brock looks at you as the two of you approach his car, opening his trunk to put your bag in. “You look great to me.”
“I’m in sweats, fresh off a plane. When do you think you told me?”
“Uh,” he lets out as you get in his car. “Yesterday?”
You take out your phone, scrolling through the messages the two of you exchanged. “You told me you had a game, not that I was going to one.”
“Who did I tell that to yesterday?” he says, staring out through his front windshield, wracking his brain. You couldn’t help but laugh. “I can take you back to my place, if you want.”
“Would that make you late for the game?”
He glances at the clock, pulling out his phone. “Very late, yes.”
You roll your eyes, fighting back a smile that you couldn’t help. “I’ll go to the game. I’m sure I have something I can change into stuffed in my bag.”
The two of you fall into easy conversation, much like you had when he first reached out to you. There was something about him that was easy to talk to.
He pulls up to the arena, still talking about one of the parties you were both supposed to go to in college.
“Do you remember that one kid, Chris, who somehow threw up at every party he went to?” he asks you, leaning against his car as you rifle through your bag in his trunk, searching for any semblance of an outfit that was better than the sweats you were currently in.
“Hold on,” you tell him, climbing into the trunk and pulling the hatch closed, trying your best to change in the cramped space. You managed to find jeans and a black shirt that could pass as a non-airport outfit that you were smart enough to pack as a spare since Brock didn’t really give you a ton of information as to how the week was going to go. You could see him standing outside the car, dumbfounded by the abrupt nature of you practically commandeering his car as a changing room for yourself. “Ok, I’m good,” you say, opening the door back up in what you were sure was record time for changing in a car trunk.
“Wow,” he says, you noticing the slightest shade of red appearing on his cheeks.
“Better?” you ask. Your foot catches on part of the trunk as you try to get out, practically falling out of his car.
You feel Brock’s hands catch you, spreading across your back and under your legs. “Much,” he says, his face inches from yours. He clears his throat, his face turning bright red as he puts you down.
He wasn’t about to kiss you, was he? And why would you have been ok if he did that? “Thanks for that,” you tell him, embarrassment seeping into your voice.
“So, uh, Chris?” he asks, walking you into the arena with his hands now firming shoved into his pockets.
“He really did somehow end up in the bathroom at every party.”
“Even if he didn’t have anything to drink that night.”
“I wonder what he’s up to now?”
“He just got engaged, actually,” you tell him. “His fiance was one of my lab partners back in college.”
“Wow. Never would have known that,” he tells you. The two of you walk through what you could only describe as the tunnels of the arena, Brock showing you around and trying to explain to you what everything was.
“You’re gonna be in here,” he tells you, showing to a room that was filled with women and children who all seemed to know each other. Before you can ask anything, he checks his watch, his eyes practically bugging out of his head. “Shit, I’ve gotta get ready. I’ll meet you right here after the game.”
Brock runs off, leaving you standing at the entrance to this room that you could see was at ice level, filled with people you didn’t know.
You couldn’t enter the room. This was already ridiculous, you being here in the first place with a guy you just met for the first time in person less than an hour before. Now you were apparently supposed to go into this room with a bunch of people and do what? Talk to them?
No thank you.
You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, leaning against the wall next to the entrance of this room as Lena calls you again. “Ok, you did not fly all the way to Vancouver to see a Canucks game.”
“I’m going to stop sharing my location with you,” you laugh.
“Ok, spill, why the hell are you in Vancouver?”
You recount the whole string of events to her, realizing how ridiculous the whole situation sounded now that you were actually verbally articulating everything. “And now, I’m outside of this room with a bunch of women and I think this is where I’m supposed to be for the rest of the game.”
“Are you in the WAG room?”
“The what?”
“The WAG room.”
“No, I heard you,” you sigh, “What does that mean?”
“The wives and girlfriends.”
You stare at the wall on the other side of the hallway as people you ignored scurried around you. “But I’m not a wife or a girlfriend?”
“Well, as long as you have that established. I heard there’s supposed to be amazing food in those rooms for the families.”
You peek your head into the room, seeing a line of the women forming on the other side of the room in front of what looked like an incredible spread of food. “I can see that.”
“Go in!” Lena shrieks in your ear. “Have fun, make friends, and bring me some food when you get back.” She hangs up before you can say anything else, leaving you there with your phone pressed against your ear and no one on the other end of the call.
You finally work up the courage to go into the room, trying to slip in and stay in the back, out of the way of anyone who would feel the need to come to talk to you. You stay along the wall closest to the door, trying to take in the room around you. There were children seemingly everywhere, running and shrieking as they played with each other. Toys were scattered all over the floor, bags lined against the wall. You probably looked like a freak the way you were moving through the room, trying to find a seat that you could sink into and become invisible in.
“Shit,” you let out, slamming down onto the floor, tripping over one of the toys you were somehow too busy to notice.
“Are you ok?” one of the women asks you, crouching down on the floor to meet you at what was now, embarrassingly, eye level.
You could feel your face getting hot. “Other than my ego being bruised, I think I’m good.”
“I haven’t seen you before,” she says to you. “I’m Lexie. I’m Thatcher’s wife.”
You had no idea who Thatcher was, but it probably wouldn’t look good for you if you admitted that.
You introduce yourself, finally getting up off the floor and dusting yourself off. “I’m here with Brock.”
Lexie’s eyes light up with excitement. “You must be Brock’s mystery girl.” The room seems to go silent when Lexie practically shrieks that, even the children making no noise. “He had been telling us he was seeing someone, but we never thought he would bring you to a game early.”
“Oh, I,” you start, getting nervous now that all eyes were on you. You had no idea what he had told these women, or their husbands, or boyfriends, or whoever these people were. “Here I am.”
“I can’t believe Brock would just throw you to the wolves like this,” Lexie says, linking her arm with yours and walking you over to the food table.
“Are you kidding?” another one of the women chimes in. “This is exactly something Brock would do. I’m Natalie, by the way, J.T.’s wife.”
The two women start chatting your ear off, you unable to comprehend what they were saying. Brock had a ‘mystery girl,’ that you had now taken on the identity of. Brock was probably seeing someone who couldn’t be there this week and now he was going to look like an awful human when you suddenly disappeared and were replaced with another person next week.
But, why did you care? You barely knew Brock.
You had no idea how much time passed by when they all start filtering out the seats near the ice, the players skating around in circles.
You join them, unsure what else to do. You pull out your phone, getting an idea and starting to type in a new note, trying to wave Brock over to the boards when you finally get his attention.
They think I’m your ‘mystery girl??? you show him with your phone screen pressed against the glass when he comes over. The color seems to drain from his face, mouthing ‘I’m sorry,’ and shrugging way too casually for your liking before practically sprinting away from you to the other side of the rink.
You head back into the room, beelining for the exit and pulling up Lena’s number.
“Brock told everyone he and I are dating?” you try not to scream too loudly, hoping that none of the people in the room or in the hallway
“Oh,” Lena says. “That’s not great.”
“Not great?” you say, running your hand through your hair, feeling yourself panic. “This is crazy. What if this turns into a psycho killer situation?’
“He’s way too high profile in the area to get away with killing you.”
“That’s not reassuring.”
“I’m just saying he wouldn’t get away with it.”
“Adelena,” you stomp your foot like a child out of frustration, using your friend's full name.
“Ok, calm down,” she says. “There’s no need for the government name here. I think you just need to talk to him after the game and figure out what’s going on. I will fly out there and save you if I have to.”
You take in a deep breath. This was the dumbest thing you could have done, regret seeping into you with every passing moment that you spent in Vancouver. “I’ll let you know.” You go back in the room, trying to pay attention to the game as the people around you milled about, trying to get to know you and about your ‘relationship’ with Brock.
“How long have you two been going out?” Lexie asks eagerly.
“Um,” you panic, “Not that long, honestly. This is all really new.” That wasn’t a total lie.
“How did you two even meet?”
“We went to college together.”
Before Lexie could ask you another question that you probably didn’t have an answer to, a toddler runs up to her, crying. “Gotta go,” she says to you, lifting the toddler and trying to comfort them.
You sat and tried to watch the rest of the game, writing down everything you told Lexie in hopes that Brock would have said something similar. You spent the rest of the game on your phone texting with Lena, thankful that no one else in the room came up to you to talk to you or ask questions the way Lexie had, only going back to the ice and looking up from your screen to see Brock scoring.
You wait outside the room for Brock once the game was over, his teammates coming out much faster than he was as the hallway and the room behind you slowly emptied out, leaving you alone in the hallway.
“What the fuck,” you ask him when you finally see him.
“I’m sorry, I know,” he tells you, walking out to his car.
“I don’t care if you need me to pretend to date you, but I would have liked to know about it before you threw me into the Gossip Grotto.”
Brock exhales when he gets into the car, resting his head against the steering wheel while you stared at him with your arms crossed in front of you. “The guys keep bugging me about not dating anyone so I told them I was seeing someone to get them to shut up.”
“And you didn’t think that was relevant to mention when you invited me here that there was a good chance they would think I’m the girl you’re dating?”
“No. I figured they would have forgotten about it by now.”
“Well, their wives didn’t.”
“So what do we do?”
You stare at him. “I could leave on the next flight and get out of here and probably be mad at you forever. Or, we pretend we’re together.”
He whips his head to you, his eyes crazy with shock. “What?”
You shrug, pulling out your phone and showing him the notes you made during the game about you and him being together. “We fake date. I’m only here until Wednesday, and you said we were only going to be seeing your friends on Tuesday night. We have plenty of time to figure this out.”
“We have a day and a half.”
You scoff. “You think I haven’t figured out more complicated things in less time? I got a plane ticket and got myself here on twelve hours notice.”
“So, we fake date?”
“We fake date.”
_____________________________
“What are you doing?” you ask, walking into Brock’s kitchen the next morning, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You spent the night in his guest room, sleeping in what was probably the most comfortable bed you had ever slept in. You spent the night before starting to hash out the story you would tell his teammates and their partners, agreeing that you would only share information about the two of you if you were directly asked about it.
“Debating whether or not to make us breakfast,” he tells you, one hand on his hip, the other holding open the fridge door. Brock had on no socks, boxer shorts and a t-shirt, all of which showed off to you just how unfair his entire physique was. His hair was messy in a somehow perfect way that would have made you drool under any other context. You could pretend to drool over him, but real drooling was out of the question right now.
“What’s the other option?”
He closes the fridge door, turning to face you. “I don’t make breakfast and we go out for food instead.”
“How good are you at making breakfast?”
“I make a mean bowl of cereal.”
“We’re going out for breakfast, get dressed.”
“Wow, my girlfriend is bossy,” he smirks as you walk away, looking over your shoulder at him and sticking your tongue out.
Was that too flirty? You had agreed last night that flirting was ok so you could ‘get used to it.’ How could you flirt in front of other people if you had never done it before?
You call Lena while you were getting ready.
“You could just real date him,” you hear her suggest, crunching on something on the other end of the line.
“You could just give me real advice and not chew on something in my ear.”
“It’s morning, let me eat my apple,” Lena says, obviously with her mouth full. “What are you guys doing today?”
“Right now, getting ready for breakfast. Beyond that, watch my location.”
“Yeah, I have no job. I can just stalk you all day.”
“If I end up dead how are you going to know?”
“Ugh, fine,” she sighs. “Have fun, don’t die.”
She hangs up, leaving you alone to get dressed for a day you didn’t know the details of. You pull on leggings and a sweater, your sneakers on and grabbed a jacket that you didn’t even know if you needed. You head back out to Brock’s kitchen, finding him leaning against the counter on his phone.
“You need to change,” you tell him. He had on black jeans and the same color sweater as you.
“This could be a cute couple thing,” he jokes. “We could take a picture together and post it, or something.” You hesitate, walking over to Brock as he extends his hand with his camera open. “At least pretend to like me,” he tells you, plastering a smile on his face as he starts taking photo after photo.
You rest your hand on his chest, leaning into him and smiling at his camera. You did look good together, if you had to admit.
“Can you do one where you kiss my cheek?’
“What?”
“Don’t couples do that?’
You stare at him for a second. Would it be weird to do that? He asked you to do it. “I normally scroll past those photos.”
“Me, too.” The two of you stand in silence for a second, neither of you sure how to go on. “Maybe we don’t do that. Too much, too soon.” You nod in agreement.
“So, where are we going?”
Brock smiles at you, leading you out the door.
_____________________________
The breakfast he took you to was amazing. He said that he had an entire day for you planned as a thank you for coming out here in the first place.
“How are you with hiking?”
“It depends.”
“On?”
“How long the trail is.”
Brock laughs, putting his car in park in front of a water front.
“If we don’t stop, it’ll take two hours.”
“That seems like a long time.”
“That’s how long my games are.”
“Yeah, that was a long time,” you tease him, getting out of the car.
The trail was beautiful, a breeze off the water cooling you down as you walked alongside Brock. This could easily have been a real date if the two of you were actually together.
You shake your head slightly of the thought. This was just supposed to be you helping him out, even though that wasn’t the original purpose of your trip. “So what are you supposed to do for Friendsgiving tomorrow night?”
Brock stops walking, the person behind him nearly knocking into him as he scolds Brock for stopping in the middle of the trail. You pull him over to the side of the walkway, ignoring the spark that you swore ran through you as laced your fingers in his.
“I have no idea, actually.”
“So you’re off to a great start.”
“I think I was told to bring something in the group chat,” he says, using his free hand to pull out his phone and start scrolling through the message thread that seemed to go on forever, your hands still intertwined. You weren’t sure he even noticed at this point, but part of you didn’t want to be the one to break the connection between you. “Ah, mac and cheese.”
“Have you ever made homemade mac and cheese before?”
“It has to be homemade?”
You roll your eyes, starting to walk again with your hands still locked together. “Did you think it would just magically spawn in front of you once you got to Quinn’s place?”
“I only have boxes of the store brand of mac and cheese.”
“Oh my god,” you sigh, pulling out your phone and finding the recipe you make for yourself when you have motivation. “Can you use Quinn’s oven when you get there or will he not have space?”
He quickly types on his phone as the two of you keep walking. “Yeah, we can as long as it doesn’t take too long,” he tells you, showing you the message from Quinn.
You nod, scrolling to the recipe on the website. “What do you have from these ingredients?”
Brock quickly scans the list, nodding along and mouthing each component to himself. “I have the flour, salt, and pepper.”
“So you were supposed to be making mac and cheese and you had neither the mac nor the cheese?”
“That would be correct.”
“Oh my god,” you groan again. Brock stops walking, pulling you off to the side of the trail again. “What?” Brock gestures to the water in front of you, the sun making the ripples shine, the sky absolutely pristine. “Wow,” you let out.
“What do you think?” you hear him ask, not taking your attention away from the sight in front of you.
“It’s beautiful.”
“It is.” You look over at him, seeing him tuck his phone away into his pocket, his eyes on you instead of the view.
_____________________________
“Why was getting all of this way harder than I thought it would be?” Brock asks, putting the bags of groceries on the counter.
“Because you had no idea where anything in the store was and we had to keep doubling back for things we missed the first time.”
“You really have an answer for everything, don’t you?”
“We’re dating, isn’t that something you’re supposed to know?”
Brock laughs, pulling out pans and bowls from his cabinets as you start to get everything prepared for the mac and cheese. You tell him what to do, giving him step-by-step instructions.
“This is nice,” he tells you.
You think for a moment, shredding the cheese into a bowl. The recipe called for more cheese than any recipe you had ever made before, and somehow the mountain of cheese in front of you still didn’t feel like enough. “It is.”
“My mom and dad used to cook like this,” he tells you, his voice somber as he comes up behind you.
“Yeah?”
“She would tell him what to do and he would do it. Badly, but he would try his best.” You laugh along with him. He had told you that his father had passed away a couple of years ago, but you didn’t know anything else about him other than what she could find with a quick google search that now, in a weird way, felt like an invasion of privacy. “We could always tell which things Dad helped with because they tasted just a little off.”
“You miss him, don’t you?” you say, slowing down your shredding and turning towards him. He was facing you again, his arm around you but not touching you, resting on the counter on the other side of you.
“Always.”
You swore he was going to lean in, his eyes flickering down to your lips. You clear your throat, turning back to the cheese. “You should check the pasta to see if it’s almost done or not.”
Brock nods, smiling and winking at you before doing what he was told.
_____________________________
“This is all fake.”
“And?”
“It doesn’t feel fake.”
“Well, you aren’t a great actress, are you?”
“Lena,” you whine.
“I saw you try out for The Little Mermaid in middle school.”
You had texted her once the mac and cheese was done and you were back in what Brock now referred to as ‘your room,’ panicking that he had almost kissed you again. What if you were just reading into things? You felt stupid to think that he was doing anything more than pretending for the sake of getting used to things for tomorrow, right?
“Is there a chance for this to turn into something not fake?”
“Considering he lives in a different country, unless you want me to actually move to Canada without you, no.”
“Do you want it to be something that isn’t fake?”
You hesitate, knowing that Lena had a stupid smirk on her face that would turn into some sort of ‘I told you so,’ later in the conversation. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it does.”
You sigh. “He’s great, but I’ve known him for two days. You don’t fall for someone like that in two days, it’s absurd.”
“Jack and Rose did in Titanic.”
“And that’s fiction, not real life.”
“Ok, if you had more than two days, then what?”
“Then, I don’t know. Maybe?”
“So, what do you do about it?”
“What can I do, Leen?” You flop down on the bed. “I’m here for less than two days before I leave and probably never talk to him again. The best this can be is fake.”
_____________________________
“Are you ready for this?” Brock asks you, handing you one of the trays of food you made. “No.”
He smiles at you. “Me neither.”
You head towards the door of Quinn’s place, ready to be as overwhelmed with the people you were about to encounter as you were two days prior at the game, even if you had already met most of these people.
Lexie is the first one to greet you, somehow, through the chaos of everyone else around you. She leads the two of you into the kitchen, even though Brock already knows his way around. “I’m stealing her,” she tells Brock, grabbing you by the hand and leading you off to another room while all the guys stand around the kitchen island, somehow the ones in charge of the food.
“It is so good to see Brock so happy,” she tells you, handing you a glass of wine as she poured one for herself. The two of you were alone in the room she pulled you into, leaving you amazed that with that many people in the house, there was even an empty room to begin with. “I mean, those photos he posted of you? You are the most photogenic person I have ever seen.”
“Uh, yeah,” you tell her, knowing that you have to stop stammering everytime you try to give someone an answer.
“You don’t know about the pictures?” You shake your head. She prompts you to pull up Brock’s page, the most recent pictures one from yesterday.
You scroll through the carousel. The first one, as you saw, was the one of you two before you went out for the day. The second one was one of you in the airport, looking for him. You thought you looked awful, but somehow, he made you look good. The third from the game the other night, one of the photographers probably captured a photo after he scored of him looking at you and smiling at him before he heads to the bench. The fourth and fifth were ones you had no idea he took; when you were looking out at the water yesterday, smiling at the sight while your hair somehow perfectly framed your face, and while you were hunched over the cheese, grating too many cups of the stuff for today.
“He’s in deep,” Lexie smirks, drinking her wine.
You can feel the heat rushing to your cheeks as you looked at the photos, which he captioned, Thankful for you, with your handle tagged.
“Now it makes sense why I’m getting so many notifications,” you joke, setting your glass down on the table in front of you. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to go find the bathroom.”
You head back towards the kitchen, hoping to find Brock there.
“I’m surprised you actually are dating someone,” you hear someone’s voice in the kitchen.
“Yeah,” Brock responds.
“I thought you made her up,” another voice agrees with the first.
“I’m not Quinn, I wouldn’t do that,” Brock lies.
“That was one time when I was in sixth grade,” the first voice argues.
You hear Brock laugh, your heart fluttering at the sound, immediately hating yourself for that. You’ve known him for a few days, why did you have to remind yourself about that?
“How long have you guys even been together?” Your heart stops,hoping Brock remembered all the things they talked about the last few days. She knew what he should say, but that didn’t mean he would say it.
“Only about two months, I think.”
“You think?”
“Petey, you know he’s not good with time.”
You finally work up the nerve to walk into the room, seeing Brock’s face light up at the sight of you.
He was faking it.
“Hey, babe,” he says, pulling you close and kissing the side of your head.
“God, you two aren’t going to be the kind of couple who overdo the PDA, are you?” Petey asks.
“Only if you piss us off,” Brock says, not taking his eyes off you.
“So, um,” you say, coming back to reality and turning to the other two. “Everything looks great.”
Quinn looks at the clock on the oven. “We should probably eat soon. The food should be in a couple of minutes.”
“We’ll get everything on the table,” Brock volunteers the two of you, grabbing one of the plates and handing them to you.
“Everything is going well, so far, I think,” you whisper to him once you’re out of earshot of the others.
“Everyone thinks we’re actually together. I think we might pull it off.”
_____________________________
The rest of the night went surprisingly well, the attention largely kept off the two of you most of the time as the team seemed to be more interested in teasing each other while their partners rolled their eyes at the guys’ antics. Brock drove you back in silence, a smile on his face the entire time.
You headed to bed, knowing that you were going to be leaving when you woke up the next morning, part of you dreading the moment Brock would drop you off at the airport.
He pulled up to the terminal, neither of you moving once he put the car in park.
“Can I admit something?” he asks.
“Sure.”
“I don’t think I want you to leave.”
You look at him. “I don’t really want to leave.”
“But,” he starts.
“I have to.”
Brock gets out of the car before you could say anything else, heading to grab your bag from his trunk.
“We were good at fake dating, though,” he says, handing you your bag.
You nod as he pulls you in for a hug. “Was all of it fake?” You don’t know what compelled you to ask that, other than you not thinking before you speak.
Brock smiles, his arms still wrapped around you. Before you can fully process it, his lips find yours, a sweet, slow kiss as your lips moved together, his hand on the small of your back pressing you into him.
“No.”
#brock boeser#brock boeser fic#brock boeser imagine#vancouver canucks#vancouver canucks imagine#vancouver canucks fic#canucks#canucks fic#canucks imagine#nhl#nhl fic#nhl imagine#hockey#hockey fic#hockey imagine
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What If I Don’t Know?
JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summery: In an alternate universe where the pogues gave up the hunt after their win with El Dorado, Y/n breaks free of the island dream and runs off the college. Only to find that maybe, being away isn’t what she wanted after all.
My boots danced across the thick yellow lines on the deep black pavement. The traffic lights were flickering yellow, reflecting off of the void and rippling across the building puddles by the clogged sewer drains. An intersection at midnight, no dead stop and no definite go. Just the trust that the other cars wouldn’t blow past the warning signs. The trust that metal was made to bend, to rupture to save a life.
I didn’t have a car, I couldn’t afford one, and I never needed one. Everything I ever wanted was always just a few steps away. Laughter used to echo through the halls and cold rings hit the doors repeatedly. You grow used to people that way. Used to the sound of their footsteps, of their breath. You know who’s on the other side of the door always when you memorize the pattern of their movement.
JJ promised me once that we’d make one. We would run our way down to the junkyard and pick out old parts of cars and Frankenstein them together into a piece of shit that would run like a dream.
That was something I missed. The smell of gasoline. Maybe that’s why I stumbled down through the college town, balancing between the thin stripe of black between yellow and twirling in the center where road met road. Maybe I was looking for that bitter smell to remind me of home. The image of JJ bent under the hood of a truck. The same Ford that sat broken in the front yard for years, the sound of metal twisting and the breathy grunts with each violent twist of the wrench. It would run like new one day, he swore. I never doubted him, and I still don’t. One day, we’ll run down to that junkyard, a graveyard for cars, and we’ll find that missing piece.
Rain dripped from the bridge of my nose, falling on my soaked shoes and flattening out my fuzzy socks. Everything up North was colder. Maybe it was because of how bitter people were. The semi-warm summers and the sweltering months of autumn, only for the two week beach bliss to be swiftly replaced with a harsh winter that didn’t let up until the next summer. Cold nipped at my nose. I felt bitter the longer I was here, which was weird because when I was sixteen, I could have sworn this place was home.
Then again, I had never really been anywhere long enough to know what home really was. Everywhere I went became rushed by the sweet adventure that was chasing riches. Maybe it was the idea of settling down that intrigued me. To be sat in one place for a while and to slow down, to increase my chances of living through my twenties without some pirate knocking on my front door, a gun to my head. But this wasn’t home, this wasn’t settling. This was restlessness mixed with a deep urge to find something like home. An emptiness emotionally that I just couldn’t understand.
Like a dog chasing its own tail, I felt stupid, and I myst have looked drunk dancing among the silence of my college town. I should have been happy, this should have been home. I got out, I got what Kiara always dreamed of, I sought out a higher education, a dream that Pope had thrown away. My record was clean and my future had meaning. I should have been ecstatic to receive this opportunity, after all the grief and death and scandals of my childhood, a stage in my life that was stripped away by all the realities that unraveled with each new treasure found. But, I wasn’t. Even then, sick, dirty, and cold, I wasn’t happier than then now.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. In the dormitories, in the bathrooms, in the halls. It’s me, or, a version of that girl. She has my hair, and we share the same eyes, same curve of our lips too. But she’s hollowed out, gutted, and so indescribably not me. Different, not greater, but worse. I think of packing my bags quite often. Going quietly and without a fuss. To swallow my pride and withdraw my debt I would surely acquire if I stay any longer here at some institution I knew I couldn’t afford the moment I sent in my letter.
My roommate would be disappointed, but she’d move on. She doesn’t know me, she understands the concept of me, but she doesn’t know me. She’s nice enough, keeps her room clean, which inspires me to do the same. She brushes her hair regularly, almost obsessively, and is really pretty. We get along fine. We are friends, to a degree, but we are sure to find other roommates and never speak again. Still, I wonder if she would be mad if I left without telling her.
JJ was mad when I told him. He didn’t like the idea of abandonment. Though, I promised I would return in just a few months, and then a week after, and a few months later. It would feel like I am forever home, only with short intermissions where he gets to enjoy all the things that the island could offer with the others to hang off of his arm. He didn’t even indulge in that idea. He thought even an hour apart was too much.
I promised him it wasn’t abandonment, and swore to call him every night. I do. Sometimes I call him in the morning, and I almost always call him in the afternoon. I like to hear his voice. It sounds like home, it makes me feel warm. I forget about the redness of my nose and the tingling numbness in my fingers. He sounds like the waves crashing against the shore and the sound of wet spaghetti hitting the walls during dinners at midnight. He is laughter and the summer sun, the swells that ripple in mid July and the best seashells on the beach.
My knees bend beneath me, kneeling against the wet cement beneath me. I feel the wetness soaking through my jeans. It’s cold. Like it could be snow if it were a degree cooler. I kneel in the middle of the intersection, and I look up at the sky. It’s dark. I check my watch, it’s nearly morning again. The yellow light flickers against my skin, illuminating my face and leaving me in pitch black again. Everyone is sleeping in my college town. All is quiet.
My neck stretches out, upwards and I open my mouth. My tongue touches my chin, and I can taste the dirt in the droplets that swallow down my throat. My eyes are closed, because I have nothing to fear but loneliness itself, and whether my eyes are opened or closed, the feeling will still be there, and the fact will be too. I am alone, in this journey. I have nothing friends to lean on and no campfire to light. Nobody here knows about the existence of Kildare, of the marsh, and the restaurants that line the cut. They wouldn’t care, they don’t care about an environment they are not accustomed to. They only have so much space to consume what they need to know. To drink up their studies, they have no space for empty thoughts of a life they never lived.
I have my old phone in my pocket. The keypad is burned into the screen because it’s all I use it for now. My life revolves around nothing but the stress of failure and the relief of my best friend’s voice at the end of the day to ease my stress. The truth is, I understand the void in my passion now better than I did when it first appeared, the black hole that seemed to swallow up all my excitement for the new beginnings. I understand the bitter feelings I have for my new house, because I refuse to call this place home. Home is not a place you reside, though, familiarity breeds contempt, home is a connection to the people who reside in respect of you, who stand by you. So though the people I surround myself with here are perfectly friendly, they are not my friends, and they will never come close to the feeling of home I feel with them.
“Hello?” His voice is thick with sleep. He has that rasp men get early in the morning, a rich deepness I rarely hear anymore, but something I once bathed in with his arms wrapped around me through the night.
Theres a soft rhythmic ticking that comes with the flickers of light, and the soft patters of rain drenching the pavement create solemn acoustics around me.
“Hey, JJ.” It comes out in one breath. A sigh of relief that he even heard the buzzing of his phone in his usual dead-to-the-world like sleep cycle. My fingers slip on my phone case and I have to catch it, the rustling on my end of the line echoing back through the speaks to me. I can hear the playback of my breathing through a short delay that spans over a vast distance.
“Is everything alright? It’s…three in the morning. I don’t know a lot about time zones but, I think we’re both on the east coast.”
“No, it’s the same time zone, Jay.” My cheeks already hurt with how big my smile was. He just had that effect on me. His goofy, unknowing attitude always managed to make me laugh, especially because deep down I knew he was a lot smarter than he led on to be. When he let that mask slip to reveal his true self, it was always a wonder the ideas that spewed from his lips. He had one of the greatest minds I’d ever known, only to be undermined by the tragedy of his last name.
“Is it a crime to miss my best friend?” My eyes found a home on my wet knees, and my free hand began to play around in the water. Dragging my nail through the small puddle forming around my body.
“At this time? Yes.” He chuckled softly. “Somethings up, what are you speculating? Whats the word? Ovulating? Because I can’t help you with that.” He made himself clear, smiling through his sentences.
“What? No! Why would I call you of all people if I was photo-ovulating?” I corrected myself with a laugh.
“Don’t knock it until you try it. I happen to be irresistible.” JJ defended himself with a teasing tone. Our conversation was light like it always was, even though my homesickness ran deep, and the sadness I felt was heavy, he made it feel like even the rain pouring down around the city I lived in was letting up.
“Lord knows John B’s walls are too thin for me to not have some kind of clue.” I snickered, pushing back the wet strands of hair that had fallen down upon my face.
Rain clung to me in every crevice, drenching me completely until I felt nothing but cold wash over me. It was a shower I didn’t need, one that did not cleanse me but instead poisoned me with the reminder that this was reality, I was miles away from the voice that was soothing my hearts ache momentarily. I would mull over it later.
“Nah, you got off on that shit.”
“Don’t be a pig, I’ll hang up.” I threatened half-heartedly. We both knew I never would. I could never cut the calls first, so the responsibility fell to JJ, who suffered the same inability to let go. Our calls usually stretched for hours, and the voicemails left in my inbox from the few times I would pass out with my cheek pressed firmly against some dusty book in the library took up all remaining storage in my phone. Right along side the folders of photos of us that collected by the thousands.
“So why’d you call?” He asked finally. I had no real answer. I used up all my excuses. Could he check for a sweater I left behind, the very same one I had on, or if he could just catch me up on what the others were up to. As if I didn’t call to hear all their stories daily, hourly if possible. What was I to tell him? What excuse could serve as something plausible without bearing a burden on his wide shoulders.
“You’re my best friend. I love you, I don’t need a reason.”
“You always have a reason.” He argued softly.
“Well, tonight I don’t.” I hummed. He hummed too, and silence filled the line.
The homely yellow flicked was accompanied by the blinding lights that came in pairs, growing brighter and wider with each passing second. Like a deer, I stood quickly, tall in my path but frozen in fear. I couldn’t meet the eyes of the man behind the wheel, recklessly racing across the intersection with no caution. Yellow meant slow, yet in the night, it only called for feet hitting the floor.
Puddles splashed violently, wheels screeching against the wet cement, leaving trails of where wet met soaked. I could see the distance between the wheels, I could lay my chest against the ground and measure it with my wingspan. The car swerved, laying down on the horn until the sound sputtered away into the distance, and nothing but the soft ticking of the lights and the sound of rain smacking the pavement filled the silence of the line again.
“Are you outside?” JJ asked finally. The sound of sheets crinkling and shuffling of legs against the mattress told me the loud alarm had stirred him from his relaxed state. I nodded at first, forgetting he couldn’t see me, and then I cleared my throat.
“I’m standing in an intersection.” I confessed quietly.
“Why?”
To clear my mind, to escape everything that was bothering me. To find peace with the silence, to try and find comfort in a home that wasn’t mine. There were a lot of minor reasons. The smell of gasoline was high on the list. I rationalized a lot of reasons in my head. Maybe I was looking for that bitter smell to remind me of home. Still, my gut wouldn’t settle.
I had left home to find something good for myself, to do myself the favor I always promised myself I would if I ever had the chance. But now, now that my feet had carried me to a place that was usually bustling with life, life that felt dull compared to even the most calm days on the island, I felt like I could never go back. A chance, a life, a future that I craved, I was throwing away because my feet refused to lift from the ground until I was sure I would only take my next steps home.
“I miss you.”
My answer was clear. It was true. I missed the waves, I missed the concrete roads freshly paved down in figure eight and how they met the old dirt roads of the cut. I missed John B’s chicken coop, though the chickens were long gone. I missed the dying tree carved with his name, and the rusted latch on the chateau’s porch door that left a yellow stain in the crinkles of my palm. But more than anything, I missed being no more than a breath away from JJ Maybank.
“Come pick me up?” I asked with uncertainty. Not because I even doubted for a moment that JJ wouldn’t come running to me if I even for a moment doubted where I stood, but because the morning was still young and tropical paradise was far away from the whistling winds of the North. Ferries only ran during certain hours, and money was hard to come by, even when we scrape together our pennies. Thats what happens when you drink up your success, you’re left with the repercussions. So, even if he did catch the boat, where would he get a ride from? How much more would it cost to bring the Twinkie alongside hime and ride it all the way to the hills where the colleges welcome signs were illuminated by colored lights, shining in school colors and pride.
He let out a stifled breath. He was choking on emotion I couldn’t read over the phone.
“I’ll be there, yeah.” He promised.
“Okay…I’ll go pack.” I said, suddenly and awkwardly. Yes, I dreamed of this day, kissing everything goodbye and running back to my roots, but now it was real. I could hear JJ slipping on his boots already. Why waste this chance?
“Pack?” He questioned.
“I’m leaving for good, Jay. I know I tell you that this is great and all, but I hate it here. This isn’t…this isn’t what I thought it would be. It’s not what I want.”
“So, you’re coming home?” He asks even though my answer has always been obvious.
“Yes.”
The line falls quiet again. I can hear the shuffling of his feet quickening against the rotting wood floors of the old Maybank property. A broken home flipped into something good. We share a bed there, I imagine he’s already grieving the loss of his starfish sleep position now that he’ll be bound to the same mattress as me again.
“I’ll be there soon.” The line falls dead.
Water splashes around me. If I wasn’t already soaked, I would be now. I can see why John B loved having a car so much now. The cold was fine at first when it was numbing, but now that I had feeling back in my chest, it was too much for me. My feet hit the pavement in harsh slapping movements, I pump my arms for some kind of friction against the wind. My lungs burn, they taste metallic. I want to wheeze and stop running, but I don’t think I could if I tried. I should feel embarrassed how quickly I up and left the place I was once stuck in, how I turned on my heels to run far away. But I’m not. I feel nothing, actually. Nothing but cold, determination, excitement. I have the energy of a child. I am an olympic runner, I have the right motivation. Get the fuck out of here, run myself right into JJ’s arms. I pray I don’t wake my roommate up when I reach my room.
The room is empty when I get there. I open the door so slowly, not even the rusted hinges make a sound. The carpet groans under my weight, even on my highest tip-toes. But the beds are empty and neatly made like they were left this morning. Rains pelts the windows. Theres a fan running. It’s my fan. I can’t sleep in the heat, not even in the winter. My bedding consists of borrowed blankets that I buried myself in, subconsciously trying to suffocate away the homesick feelings.
I barely had any clothes to pack, anything to throw into my duffle bag and my old backpack that was once Kiara’s. I never really got around to unpacking anyway, because there was so little to fill the bags I brought. Looking back on every decision I made before even stepping foot on campus, I should have known I would never stay. This was merely a vacation from hell. I don’t get the privilege to relax, I am worked and forced to prove myself over and over again among my peers who will never know me. I can’t wait to go somewhere where I am known again.
Somewhere along the way, I begin to collect up the posters on my walls. I rip them down hazardously, crumpling them and leaving them in the empty trashcan. It’s empty because there’s nothing I’ve touched in this room. Not the books, or the pens. I have a singular pencil up on my desk that’s much shorter than it once was, only half of its once lengthy size, and a nearly full set of flashcards. I don’t need the memory of this place to follow me. I consider it a favor to my roommate. To gift her with all the supplies she will ever need. She is nice enough, and a lot smarter than me. She’s sitting here on a full ride, though, the collar of her shirt says she could afford it without a penny. I convince myself she deserves it even though I do not know her.
I check my phone repeatedly, and I sit on the bench under the old overhang by my dorms. I stay out of the rain, I stay near the warmth and huddle up. I feel anxious waiting for him. It’s only been a few hours. I swept over the room for the few things I did want to keep. Like one of JJ’s bracelets, though it never even left my wrist. Or the soap I used in the shower. It was brand new, I had just bought a new one. I wait for his call. I wait for the familiar honking of the rusted horn. I wait, and wait as the sun rises. Time ticks by. I am impatient, I wasn’t bred this way, but good things have made me this way. I cannot wait.
“Popes probably gonna kill me.” I mumbled softly.
The car was warm, but my hands still lingered with the outsides touch. I sat on that bench for hours waiting for him. I saw people rise from their beds and lean out the window, taking in the smell of the dewey morning. A few gave me puzzled glances. A drenched girl, dripping down on the bench, wetting everything she touched.
But then, he came. I could see the rusted van before he even put it in park. Just between the brick lined buildings and the paths decorated in dying shrubbery. There was a small gap between the campus lawn and the visitors parking lot. A small slice of the outside world creeping into the sheltered space that was college.
I ran. I ran faster than I ever had in my life. Faster than when I used to race for desert back when Big John used to ruffle my hair and let me sleep over if I wanted, faster than when Ward held a gun to my head and made me pray for some kind of miracle. I ran until my feet couldn’t keep up, and I fell into JJ with a gasp.
He held me back, lifting my feet from the ground they stood on. I swore I heard him mumble something sappy under his breath, but he quickly shrugged it away when he saw the look in my eyes. I never felt love until I felt the desperation in the way he wrapped his arms around me. The way he squeezed the air from my lungs and only let me breathe when he was sure that the feeling between his elbows and his chest was really real, until he knew that this was for good.
He had slung my bags into the back seat and laughed as he told me to get in the Twinkie. When he started driving, he played the old CD we burned together in middle school filled with soft rock and Bob Marley. Occasionally, a song I had written into the playlist without him knowing would play. He always acted angry that I’d done that, but his fingers tapped the wheel and he couldn’t help but hum along. He would never admit to liking trashy pop songs, but the pink on his cheeks gave him away.
When the CD was spun to an end, we debated playing it again. We fell into silence, into the comfort of company. We both took the time to process the fact that this was real now, this was the decision I had decided to make. The thoughts that ran through my mind, what if I took off? What if I packed my bags, what if we moved back home? Let’s adventure down the coast, let’s live our youthful dreams that are unrealistic. Let’s make a home. They were real now, in this car, in him. We sat comfortably knowing that there was no limit on our company now, no restrictions on how much time there was left to borrow.
My socks tapped against the dashboard, my toes tracing the outline of the stickers scattered along the interior. Wet residue was left over, soggy folds gathered at my ankles. My body folded into itself slightly. I let the warn air from the dusty vents dance across my skin. Goosebumps faded like the sinking feeling in my gut. The smell of gasoline filled my nose once more, the smell of his deodorant reminded me that he was close.
“No doubt about it. Don’t know how you’re gonna talk your way out of this one.” JJ sighed contently.
“Well, you’re pretty good at sweet talking.” I buttered him up. Compliments were his weakness, I knew it all too well.
“I love you, but no.” JJ laughed.
“What! Oh, come on, please!”
My hands wrapped around his right bicep. My chin sat perched on his shoulder, batting my eyelashes at him and tickling the peach fuzz on his jaw that he had missed while shaving. I wanted to rub my palm over it, tease him for it with a smile. He had a toothy grin that I could see reflecting back in the rearview mirror.
“I get shit done, but I’m not a miracle worker, ‘kay?” He lifted his arm out of my grasp reluctantly, waving his finger to make his point.
“I thought Papa J was a miracle worker?” I teased with a raised brow. My arms crossed over my chest with a huff. My back fell gently against door. I turned to face him, a pout on my face and lines between my furrowed brows.
JJ let out a breathy laugh, his resolve quickly breaking at my endless begging. He had soft spots and I knew just where to aim.
“No, no! Don’t use my ego against me!” He laughed. I held my stomach this time, trying to keep my ribs together while I struggled to contain the fits of giggles bubbling up my throat and fighting past my lips. If love was a sanctuary, I was certain I had both feet in it. If it was a fire, I was burning up, and if it was the waves, they had crashed down relentlessly against my shivering body, bringing relief with each blow.
I bit the inside of my cheek and chewed at the skin. Laughter faded into even breathing, and my limbs curled up against the wrinkling fabric of the passenger seat. It had just barely started to rain again, a soft pattern of droplets hitting the windshield every so often. The closer we got to the dock, the more it lightened up. Though, the storm came in waves in the shape of the clouds that covered the blue skies. With each opening with sun peaking through, the tapping on glass stopped. When the grey swallowed us whole, it resumed. I didn’t mind it again. Not for the reasons that I wallowed in just hours ago, not to seek comfort in my homesick nature that cane purely from the soul of a homebody. But this time, because the swelling my my heart made me want to pull over to the side of the highway and spin around until my half-dried socks were coated in mud and my skin didn’t recall what the dryness felt like.
“Can I tell you something?” I murmured, my eyes locked in to the passing view that was the trees speeding past the windows.
“Yeah.” JJ hummed.
“I only came back for you.”
JJ hesitated on what he thought he wanted to say. He was biting his tongue. I shook my head.
“That sounds bad.” I laughed. “I only decided to leave because of you. I guess…just sitting in the middle of the road, I already felt really far away from everyone. I missed everyone more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, but I was convinced that maybe I could suffer through it. But…just being with my thoughts, and hearing your voice after thinking for a while…kinda just convinced me.”
JJ took it all in. I saw the whites of his knuckles deepen the harder he pressed his fingertips to the wheel, the vast expanse of road ahead daunting now. This was beyond quality time together, and he knew it now that the newness began to settle and he began to realize it was the same old me. This was my future, and I had tossed it all away.
“I just…I guess I always thought you’d be the one to make it out. To really go for it. Kildare’s bog enough for me, but I always kinda thought you’d go somewhere…more.” JJ spoke softly, eyes glued to the road.
“Maybe I already did get out. I got out and I tried to change everything about me to be that girl who wanted to get out, but she’s dead. Getting out sounded so freeing when we were younger, but now…now that we’ve seen the world and…and done so much in such little time, I’ve already lived a whole life, I’ve seen the world and I still feel like I don’t know who I am yet. But I know what I love, and I know that I hate every second that I’m away from it.”
JJ hummed again, raising his brows.
“You don’t need to explore every single corner of the earth to be something or-or someone. And maybe I didn’t realize it when I sent my letter in but I know now and I know that, I feel only half as good when I’m anywhere but where I should be. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing or if Pope is going to lecture me for days and you have to listen to it, but I know I have such a better chance of being who I want to be where I can be her than in some Northern University where people wear coats year round.” I rambled. My hands moved quickly. I cut through the air with each slice of my palms, and my eyes ran wild across the landscapes and the curve of his nose down to the bend of his jawline.
“I’m just trying to make sure this is what you want.” He finally cracked a smile. His head turned for a moment to meet my eyes, and I could see the flickers of light brightening up his affectionate gaze.
“Jay, I sat in the pouring rain in the middle of the road and begged you to come get me.” I deadpanned, but a small smile still graced my face.
Truthfully, I couldn’t wait to stick my toes back in the warm sand back home. To look down at my boots and dance along the gravel roads instead of balancing between two yellow lines that shot straight down the neat pavement.
Home was a foreign concept for a long time. The idea that it was something that could be bought. Through a mortgage, monthly rent, out of pocket. I never had those kinds of expenses. What was pocket change for some felt like gold to me, so maybe when people sat around talking about how they craved a big house to reside in, I never fully understood. Then again, I was never anywhere long enough to know.
I wouldn’t change a thing, how I ran around with my friends for years looking for gold that seemed to become buried under more and more stories, leading us to an even greater prize. I wouldn’t change the way I threw it all away to be with them. Subconsciously, I was smarter than I thought. Pope talked about packing up his bags, skipping town and moving to Idaho. Somewhere where he meant nothing to nobody and could start over. But I never indulged in it, or the fantasies of having a little more money. Being stable out be nice, but I always knew I had what I needed. I had a home and it was built on the structure of my four best friends that soon grew in size to six, and they had toothy smiles and stupid jokes.
“Do you think they’ll be mad?” I asked suddenly. Sure, this was right and it was what was true, but this was a dream that nobody else ever got to experience.
JJ pulled his lip between his teeth.
“Nah.” He sighed. “Pope will have your head, but Pope gets wound up easily. Could use him as a fishing pole.” JJ joked. It made me laugh and I felt any stress melting away. It was funny that he could do that anytime he pleased. I didn’t know if he ever knew he could do it, but he had a smart mouth, and a funny bone that always seemed to tickle me just right.
“But not you?” I asked once again.
“Not me what?”
“You wouldn’t? Be disappointed in me, that is.” I clarified softly, the roads becoming softer the more me drove along them. It was only moments until we’d soon roll onto the metal bridge connecting us to the boat that would send us home.
JJ breathed out through his nose.
“Is this what you want?”
“Yes.” I responded plainly.
“And it makes you happy?”
“Yes.” JJ sighed, his eyes flickering from the wheel, to the road, and back to me. But only for a moment.
“Then no.” He answered just as plainly as I did, but there was a twinge of happiness itching at the corners of his lips. Selfishly, he wanted me to come home, and selfishly, I did too.
“Well, are you mad at me?” I continued to press him.
He laughed. “I could never be angry at you.”
“Not even if this is the wrong choice?” I picked at the skin by my fingers. My skin hurt a lot less now that it was shedding the smell of foreign land and letting the faint smell of the Twinkie stick.
“Who am I to tell you if it’s wrong?”
“Well, Pope would tell me it’s wrong.” I argued weakly.
“And am I Pope?”
I shook my head silently, and my eyes glued to my fingers. Blood stained my cuticles, where skin met nail. It stung, but it hurt a lot less than what I felt before.
“Y/n/n, you could send me into bankruptcy and act like we’re rich and I don’t think I’d even have it in me to blame you.” JJ smiled. I focused on the slopes and curls of his hair.
We sat in silence for a moment. It wasn’t like he was Shakespeare, but it wasn’t often JJ said something truly sappy. Usually, his philosophies revolved around excuses for his own stupid actions, which, now that he had explained his view on me, I had come to realize I never fully saw the extent of his behavior because I had never had the courage to blame him. I never would.
“So, you’ll talk me out of trouble when we get back?” I smiled sweetly, leaning my head on his shoulder and batting my eyelashes desperately.
JJ let out a laugh from deep in his stomach, his cheeks turning pink from his gasps of oxygen.
“I love you, but no.”
“I thought JJ was the reckless one, but holy shit, Y/n/n!” Pope ran a hand over his hat, pulling it off by the brim in one quick motion. The hard fabric hit the wooden counter of the bait and charter shop, the slap echoing through the homely space.
“Can you blame me? It’s so far away, and we just got back! I haven’t been in one place for more than a month in years, and I’m so god damn tired of feeling homesick all the time!” I tried to argue against the growing rally against me. I pleaded my case, but they all looked at me like I was brain dead.
“You had a chance, Y/n. A really good one too and you blew it, for what? To sell bait? To slum it in the cut? You can do that when you’re done earning your other options!” He scolded me like I was a kid. But I’m not a kid, and the worry lines slowly creeping up onto my once vibrant face are only evidence of the ever growing number attached to my bones.
“Yes, but a chance I didn’t ever really want! I mean, how could I even know if I ever wanted it, I don’t know who I am!”
“Thats what growing up is for! Not growing down. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not a kid anymore, Y/n. And you never will be again!”
Silence fell over the small room. Even the waves rolling against the dirt didn’t dare to whisper through the large windows and gaps for doors.
“I sacrificed that for you.” I spoke softly, bitterly. For so long, I’s bitten my tongue for everyone. Hidden my resentment for chasing after a gold, I never really wanted because in my eyes, I already had it. But it was what they wanted, so I let myself age out of the period of my life I had dreamed of since I was a kid.
“I gave up my childhood so that you could figure out yours! You got to know who you are, I never got that because no one ever stopped to ask me what I wanted! Nobody! You were all too caught up in your greedy treasure hunt to ever look around and think about if everyone wanted to do this!”
“No one made you come along.” Kiara stepped forward, the same disapproving look in her eyes. She was only defending her wordless friend, but my feet felt heavy and my joints were warm. I felt myself creating sentences I should have never admitted out loud.
“Well I did! I did, and it’s too late to change that, and I did it because that’s what friends do. But what do we have to show for it? Nothing! We didn’t get the cross, we didn’t get the gold, hell, we already spent all of the nuggets John B managed to grab!” It fell silent again, and suddenly, I was standing in the center of a circle I didn’t want to be a part of.
“So what? Because we failed, it condemns you to leave college?” Kiara always had a smarter mouth than me. She was quit witted and observant. Yet, she failed to understand that my choice to come home wasn’t something merely of the way the treasures slipped through our fingers. It was a homesickness she never had to feel because she had plenty of them where she was consistently welcomed.
“Why is it so wrong for me to be unhappy with something that everyone else enjoys? Just because my dreams do not inspire yours does not make them any less important. A-and honestly I’m sick of standing here and listening to all of you yell at me for getting out of there instead of letting myself waste away! I’d be dead if I didn’t leave, I’d be dead because you all mean a lot too much to me for me to be away from you guys for so long. In four years I might be rich, but I would be unhappy. I would be bored. But you guys—us; we will be interesting, and funny, and bold, and unpredictable forever.”
I swallowed hard, and my eyes met the blues of the boy who had the courage to go against the majorities better judgement and bring me home. He had the same wild look on his face.
I hadn’t expected JJ to speak for me, to try and mellow out the anger I knew I would receive and backtrack against the backlash I would surely face. But out of everyone, I thought I could count on him to have my back.
And he just, didn’t.
I decided then I wouldn’t stay in the eye of the hurricane when I knew what it was capable of. I wouldn’t let myself become part of its destruction if I knew I could separate myself from it for just a moment, to remove myself from all the disappointed stares.
My feet hit the wood of the long dock, the bottoms of my shoes echoing through each plank of wood, all borrowed from the destruction of a past home.
I thought of packing up, leaving, heading over to some other place I could call home temporarily, but my fingers hesitated to reach under the bed, and my knuckles curled away from the zipper that connected to the duffle bag that was squished between dirty clothes and shoe boxes filled with memories.
A hand spun me around, pulling me from the daze I had put myself in the second I walked into the new bedroom that was mine to keep in the newly fixed home. It was calloused and warm, yet the coolness of the rings decorated on each finger revealed who the strong hold belonged to.
“Why couldn’t say something?” I asked bitterly before my eyes even met his. It was just JJ and I in the confines of our bedroom. The door shut without a crack and the windows sealed off from the outside.
“I told you I wouldn’t.” He smiled. I didn’t find it funny.
“No, but you could have defended me. I would have done it for you.” My lip wobbled. My throat stung, and JJ’s eyes softened. He must have believed it was because he hurt me, but it wasn’t his fault. It was just the idea that nobody would ever deal with what I felt because they hadn’t been burdened with the feeling of it ever before. And therefore, nobody would ever get it, nor have an inkling of an understanding of why I had to come home.
“Y/n/n, come on. It’ll blow over. They’ll be happy to have you back as soon as they get over it.” He tried to comfort me.
When his hands found my shoulders, it felt belittling, condescending, though I knew it wasn’t the case. I convinced myself it was because I was angry. Spiteful, maybe.
“No, JJ, stop. Stop touching me like you care, I can’t…I can’t stand it right now.” I stepped away, throwing his hands off of me like they were poison, or fire, or both.
“Everyone is looking at me like I’m a failure! Like…like I’m something to be embarrassed about. But who are they to say that I failed? Right? I spent my whole life, the years when I’m supposed to be finding myself licking the dirt off of other peoples shoes! And I took it and I didn’t complain because I thought that maybe my day would come, and it hasn’t! How is that fair? And to think I was stupid enough to think that something good would happen to me. But the truth is I hate being out of this stupid town, and this stupid town hates me. I-it’s like they’re all spitting on me and blaming it on the wind. And don’t look at me like I’m crazy because I love you too damn hard to be looked at like that by a boy I would give my whole life for!”
I breathed heavily through my teeth, and my chest raised with so much vigor in my voice, I shook the air with a desperate anger I had felt marinating for decades beneath my skin. Yet, the manhunting and the blaming had pushed it down, and the failure and the fear had only boiled it back up. But it was always there, simmering. JJ just laughed.
“I’m only looking at you like you’re crazy because I think you’re too good to care what anyone has to say about you.” He explained with a smile.
“To you, maybe. But that doesn’t make it true. Whats true is that they all had some image of me painted for them the second I made the decision to go to college, and it was wrong. Because I’m not nearly smart enough to be as interesting or independent as they want me to be. I can’t do organic chemistry, I’ve never passed a calculus test, I’m not a doctor. Nobody ever supported those dreams anyways, not even me, because as amazing as it would be to become those versions of myself, it’s not me.” My face crumpled in defeat finally.
“I’m not…good enough for anything outside of this town.”
For the first time in my life, I saw something in JJ’s eyes as I confessed how I saw myself, how I let my friends—no, my families anger affect how I saw my decisions. I saw dapples of disappointment flickering in the sea of his eyes.
“Do you really think thats true?” He asked calmly, softly. He ran a hand through his hair. He wanted to reach out for me, but he too shared that feeling of uncertainty that had consumed me in the past months.
“Good god, maybe they were right. Maybe you are a failure.” JJ sighed, and my breathing halted. “How can you for one second believe that anything they have to say is true? How can you believe that these things you think about yourself are true?”
“Well what am I supposed to believe? We were all raised to believe the same things, right? The engineers and the scientists are necessary but nobody needs the family man or-or the artists to carry on, right? So why should my dreams of just simple living be tolerated when everyone else craves so much more?” I cried.
“Do you even hear yourself? It’s contradictory in every sentence!” JJ yelled furiously back at me. But his anger wasn’t placed at me, but at the things that led me to believe what I thought.
“Just a few hours ago you were excited to come home. You were certain that this is what you wanted because it was your dream and your life! You wanted to find yourself, to know who you are. And you were right! More dead on than anyone had ever been in my life, and hearing you speak about what you knew inspired me to think more for myself than for the benefit of everyone else! College, or some fancy job, or money won’t make any of us know who we are, that’s your job!” JJ’s eyes were wide. He had decided now, and his hands found a home on my arms, squeezing hard and passionately.
“Anyone can be those things they want you to be, but I promise you, if you stick with what you know you want, everyone you touch will remember you for centuries.” He promised me softly.
“And how do I know if I even know myself? What if I’ve never been home enough long enough to know?”
“Then you’ll find it. You’ll find it, and I’ll find it too. We can find it together.”
My eyes searched his. I could no longer blink away my tears. The liquid was much warmer than the rain that had pelted against my skin, that had slipped down my back and under my shirt to touch the most painful and terrifying parts of myself that I had refused to acknowledge or recover for some time. It was hard to recognize it all, to know exactly who I wanted to be, so, I did what I did know.
I wrapped my arms around JJ tightly, burying my head in the wrinkles of his shirt and let the patterns his arms rubbed circles in my back guide the way I swayed. I let him hold me, because if anything could be uncertain then he was nothing. He was the one thing I’d always known, and maybe that was why I had called him that night. Because in every memory I ever had, he was the one defining memory of home. He was home.
“Will you be mad at me if I never find it?” I asked pathetically against his chest.
“No.” He responded softly, muffled by the way his lips pressed into the top of my head affectionately.
“I could never be angry at you.”
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the shadow of alexia
At 4 years old my entire life changed. One day my dad was at home and the next he wasn’t. Things changed after that. Everyone was sad, lots of people visited too. Sometimes I got new toys when they came over.
Alba was a scary teenager but Alexia. Alexia was my best friend and I was hers. She would take me to kindergarten and pick me up, she never missed a soccer game or ballet recital, she was always there. So was her special friend Jenni. Jenni was great, when I was little she used to let me colour in her tattoos, Everytime she got a new one, she’s get me new pens to colour on her.
As time went on, Alba and Alexia started moving out. Alexia moved in with Jenni and started getting busy with football, Alba still lived with Mami but was busy with her friends and modelling. Mami did the best she could. She was getting older and more tired, she didn’t miss a game or my last ballet recital, she didn’t miss the disappointment in my eyes when Alexia or Alba didn’t turn up. They were busy, I understand.
It went from seeing them a couple times a week, to once a week, to once a month. I learnt pretty quickly the only way to get Alexia’s attention was to either play football or to fuck up. Lucky for me I was good at both. School was boring, it was too easy, I understood it all faster than anyone else. The first time I skipped school, I was 14. No one noticed and no one cared. From there on out it became a routine. At least once a week I’d skip school and hang out with the others.
I personally never did anything too rowdy, just tagged along to enjoy the vibes. The first time I got caught skipping school was by Virginia. She promised me she wouldn’t tell Alexia or Mami and she kept that promise. The next time was by Alba, she lost her shit. Yelling at me about how irresponsible I was being and how much trouble I would get in. The second last time I got caught was by Jenni, I hadn’t seen her in a while, I was mad at her because of that so when she tried to give me a lecture I yelled at her.
“Y/n, you can’t be doing this shit. If Alexia found out she would lose it at you! What would happen if the police got you? What would you do then?”
“Why do you care Jenni? Huh? You left, you haven’t been around. You fucked off to Paris and didn’t even say goodbye. Tell Alexia, I don’t care, at least then she would talk to me.”
“Y/n, did Ale not talk to you about this?” Her voice was incredibly soft. That was something I missed about her, the way she spoke, the softness that was hidden from most people.
“She doesn’t talk to me at all. She doesn’t give a fuck about me.”
“Bebeita, we broke up. Thats why I left. we ended things and to be able to heal I had to leave. I am so sorry, she promised she would talk to you about it. I wanted to say goodbye to you myself but Alexia said it would be a bad idea.”
From there things spiralled. I didn’t want to talk to Alexia, I didn’t want to see her. I stopped going to her games with Mami, I would sneak out when I knew she was coming over. No longer did I look up to her, I hated her. I wanted nothing to do with her.
The day I quit football, I felt free. No longer having to play to get my oldest sisters attention, I didn’t care for that anymore. I had more time to hang out with my friends, to be a normal fucking teenager.
It took a week, it was quicker then I thought to be honest, but once Alexia found out, all hell broke loose.
“Where the hell is she!” Alexia stormed through the house. Surprising Eli.
“Who Alexia?”
“The Idiota. Your mija?” Alexia huffed. Eli was surprised by the way Alexia was acting.
“In her room with her friend.” Before Eli could say anything else, Alexia was off. Swinging open the door and disturbing the peace between you and your girlfriend.
“You, get out.”
“No Alexia. You don’t get to tell her to get out.” I got defensive fast. There’s no way she gets to come here and tell her she needs to leave.
“GET OUT NOW!” Alexia’s ‘captain’ voice was something that always got people moving.
“You don’t get to come here and act like you run the place. News flash alexia, you don’t fucking live here!”
“¡Dios mío! What is happening! Why did Isabella leave crying?” Mami looked pissed. More so at alexia than me.
“Alexia kicked her out. For no reason other than the fact that no one else is allowed to be happy but her.”
“Tell her what you did!” When I was younger, the look she was giving me would’ve scared me, but now it did nothing.
“I didn’t do anything alexia. Whatever your minions are telling you isn’t true. But hey, you wouldn’t listen to me anyway.” I tried to push past her, but she grabbed my wrist stopping me from moving.
“Mami she quit football. She fucking quit. After everything I’ve done for her she throws it back in my face!” Rolling her eyes and scoffing at me.
“Let her go now. I am aware she quit Alexia. She was only doing it for you.” Mami was mad, very mad. Alexia had come and disturbed the peace, making Isabella cry and screaming the house down.
“Grab me like that again I’ll drop you on your ass. I don’t give a fuck that you are la Reina.” The words came out like venom.
Everything is always about Alexia. I joined football to get close to her, I didn’t mean to get as far as I did, I honestly didn’t think I’d get past the academy. Being called up into the Barca B squad was cool. I enjoy the fitness side of it but genuinely couldn’t care less about actually playing.
The same day I quit, was the same day I got called up for the senior team. It sent me into a bit of a spiral. Mapi found me in the corner of the physios room with my sketchbook, crying.
“Oh nena! What’s wrong? Do you want me to get Ale?”
“No! Not ale! Don’t tell her please!”
“Okay no Ale but can you tell me what’s got you so worked up?”
“I got asked to join the senior team and I don’t want to. I only started playing so Alexia would be nice to me and talk to me. I don’t even like this stupid game! I just want to draw but that’ll never be good enough for her.”
After that, Mapi and I would get coffee in the mornings, I would show her my new drawings and tell her my ideas. She paid me to draw a photo of her and Ingrid. I knew she could draw herself but it was nice to have her in my corner. Mapi was talking more about to me Alexia, saying how good my drawings were and how much happier I seemed not having to play, she seemed to miss the confusion written all over Alexia’s face.
•———————————————————————•
Mami had a trip coming up, I knew about this, but what I didn’t know what she was going to make me stay with alexia. Isabella and I came home after the movies to find Mami, Alexia, Alba and some other chick sitting at the table. I mumbled a quick hello before trying to drag Isabella upstairs.
“Don’t be so rude. Actually say hello.” Alexia spoke angrily.
Scoffing I turned around “bite me Alexia.”
“¡Dios mío! Isabella Mi vida, it’s time for you to go home. You can wait upstairs for your Mami.”
“Mami no. That’s not fair. She doesn’t get to come in here and start bossing everyone around!”
“It’s okay amor, I should go home anyway. We have that biology exam anyway.”
“Now that your little friend is gone, sit down.”
“No.”
“SIT DOWN.”
“Ale, Cálmate.” The mysterious brunette says as she places her arm on alexia’s.
Fuck all this shit honestly. Turning as fast as I could I ran upstairs, knowing Alexia would follow quickly. I was right. I was barely able to push my dresser against the door before she tried to open it. I was not going to sit at that table and play happy families.
After an hour of listening to Alexia curse, she finally gave up. It was peaceful until Alba climbed through my bedroom window.
“Still got it.”
“Alba what the hell!”
“Hermana, I don’t know what happened between you and Ale, but if it’s the same thing that happened between me and you then you need to talk to her. She’s worried about you and scared. She doesn’t want to lose you.”
“She only cares now that she thinks her precious imagine is going to get hurt.”
“If you talk to her now, while Olga is here, it’ll be easier. She calms Alexia down and makes her think more rationally.”
“Who the fuck is Olga?” Was that the mysterious brunette in the dining room?
“What do you mean? She’s alexia’s girlfriend? You’ve met her before?”
“No I haven’t. I didn’t know she had a girlfriend.”
“Yes you met her a dinner a few months ago? She comes to Ales games and on Fridays when we have dinner!”
“I wasn’t invited to that dinner, I don’t go to Alexia’s games and I certainly don’t go to Friday dinners!” The angry tears started. Alexia was my hero, my bestfriend, the person I wanted to be and now I’ve been pushed aside. I know nothing about her and she equally knows nothing about me.
Alba pulled me in tight, letting me cry on her. It was weird doing it with her, she used to be the reason I cried and not the one to comfort me. But here we are, things change I guess.
“Mami really needs to talk with you so we need to go downstairs.” Begrudgingly I let alba pull me down the stairs. It was obvious to everyone that I had been crying, mami’s face softening when she saw me, Alexia’s face frowning in confusion.
“You wanted to talk so please do it quickly. I want to go to bed.” I tried to speak as respectfully as I could to Mami, it wasn’t her fault.
“Mija, I’ll be away for a month, you know this si?” I nodded my head before she continued, “you’re too young to stay here for a month alone so you’re going to stay with Alexia and Olga. You can still see your friends and will go to school, but they will look after you.”
“Mami no! I can look after myself!”
“You’re 16 chica. You’re not an adult like you think you are.” Alexia scoffed from the other side of the table.
“So what? You’re shipping me off to stay with Alexia, who won’t even been there half the time and a stranger? That’s safer? Some person that I’ve never met and sure as shit don’t trust!”
“Stop being such a Perra! You have met Olga, plenty of times! She comes to all the games she can, and to dinners all the time.”
“Ale stop” Alba knew what was coming and tried to stop it but it was too late.
“Dios mío, your head is so far up your own arse isn’t it? I haven’t been to a single game in over 8 months, I don’t get invited to you stupid little Friday night dinners and I have never met your girlfriend! Up until an hour ago I didn’t even know you had a fucking girlfriend Alexia. Everything is always about you. You and your stupid football or your stupid knee. I bet you right now you couldn’t tell me anything about what I’ve done in the last year, can you?”
“I know you quit football because you’re being a brat.”
Her answer honestly made me chuckle “Okay Alexia, anything else?”
Silence. She couldn’t tell you a single thing.
“Yeah that’s what I thought. You know nothing about me and that’s how it’s going to stay. I dont trust you, I don’t like you and I sure as shit don’t love you. You’re not my Hermana.” With hot tears falling down my face, I stormed back upstairs. I text Isabella asking if I could stay over and once she replied with a yes, I was gone. Out the window like Alba had come in an hour earlier. I texted Mami to let her know, I wasn’t that horrible to make her worry.
“Mami, you can’t let her talk to people like that! She’s incredibly disrespectful!”
Alba rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Are you serious? That girl used to hang off you. She looked up to you. It was always you alexia and now she wants nothing to do with you. You don’t invite her places, you don’t care about her. I noticed ages ago she was pulling away and I fixed it. Did you know she has a girlfriend? Or that she’s taking senior classes because she’s the smartest there? Or the fact that people are paying her to make them art or buying the pieces she already has. She quit football because she hates it. She hates it because of you. You ruined it for her. Mami, I will stay here with her while you’re gone. It’ll be better that way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drop her off at Isabella’s.”
“No! It’s a school night! She cannot be going out!” It seems everything that was just said to Alexia, went in one ear and out the other.
“Alexia stop it now. She is allowed to stay at her girlfriend’s house, she has an exam at 1pm. Maybe you need to listen to what people are saying to you. I am going to bed, I suggest you all do the same, at your own houses.”
“Why does no one listen to me!” Alexia was annoyed, overwhelmed and tired. It had drained a lot of her energy being here tonight.
“Ale, I’m going to say this one time, you need to listen to what everyone has told you tonight, really listen, because you aren’t. You need to fix things with her but you need to sort your shit out first.” Olga had stayed silent most of the night, listening to everything that was said knowing her girlfriend wouldn’t. You were right, you had never met each other. What Olga didn’t realise was that it was Alexia’s fault, not yours. She put it down to being a moody teenager who was too cool to hang out with her sisters, oh how wrong she was.
•———————————————————————•
Two days before Mami was meant to go away, Alba rang saying she couldn’t stay over. She had gotten a modelling gig in Madrid and needed to go, that left Alexia and Olga. It would be the longest month of my life. Mami promised nothing would change just because I was staying here, she was wrong. Alexia was a bitch.
The first few days were fine, alexia would drop me off at school and I’d make my way home after, I generally spend it was Isabella because Alexia wouldn’t let her come over. We go into the city centre, get coffee and do our homework then catch the bus home. We did this even when Mami was here so it wasn’t anything new but when Alexia found out she hit the roof.
“You cannot be going into the city by yourself! Are you thick in the head?”
“Jesus Christ alexia! I’m not alone. Isabella is with me. Mami lets me do it so I’m going to keep doing it.”
“Is Isabella the reason you’re skipping school too?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I scoffed, storming off the guest bedroom and slamming the door so hard it made Olga jump.
By the third day of me being there, Alexia had turned up to pick me up herself. I tried to completely ignore her but Isabella had other ideas.
“Your sister is death staring me right now.”
“No amor, not you but me. Oh fuck here we go, she’s coming over here.”
“Get in the car y/n.”
“No. I told you yesterday that I’m allowed to do this. You’re not the boss of me.”
“Bebeita, it’s fine. I’ve got chores to do for papa anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She kissed my cheek and then walked away, leaving me no choice but to get in Alexia’s car.
The car ride was hell. Alexia was pissed, her hands constantly gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckle turned white. Neither of us spoke. To be honest, I didn’t know where we were going until we turned up at the training ground.
“Why are we here?”
“We have training. Get out.”
“No alexia. I quit. What part of that don’t you understand.”
“Get out now, or I will drag you out.”
Knowing she would literally drag me out, I had to wait it out. She’d turn her back eventually and I could leg it. I’m faster than her and more willing to jump fences.
The time came sooner than I thought, after entering the change rooms, she threw a set of clothes into my chest and walked off to the bathrooms. This was my chance and I wasn’t going to waste it.
Throwing the clothes into her cubby, I legged it out the door. Running past Mapi, Ingrid and Ona who all had confused looked on their faces. As soon as I got out, I kept running, knowing i had to get a head start. I wasn’t really sure where I was going, I knew I couldn’t go back to Alexia’s, Olga would be there. I couldn’t go home because that’s the first place she’d go, I couldn’t go to Albas because she drag me back by my ear. There was only one place to go.
Can Cuyás Golf Culb was the best place to hide. Sure someone might see me, but it’s easy enough to pretend to be lost.
The first thing Alexia noticed when she came out was the lack of you. Then the clothes she had given you, thrown back into her cubby.
“Have you seen y/n?” She asked as she turned to the girls in the locker room.
“She ran past us like 5 minutes ago?” Ona spoke up.
“Did she say anything?”
“No she was in a bit of a hurry Ale.” Mapi rolled her eyes at her best friend.
“Fuck sake.” Alexia exited the locker room, walking through the facility to try and find you. Slight panic kicked in when she wasn’t able too. Deciding to call Alba first, knowing you’d been closer to her the past few months.
“Hola Ale, to what do I owe this pleasure?” The sarcasm dripping from her voice.
“Have you seen y/n?”
“No why? What happened?” Panic arising in Alba.
“I picked her up from school and bought her to training. Gave her clothes to change into and I went to the toilet and came back and she was gone. She fucking ran off.”
“Why the hell would you try and make her train Alexia! She quit. She doesn’t want to play anymore!” Alba quickly became anger with the oldest Putellas.
“She is too good to throw it all away! She’s being a stupid child about all of this!” Quickly becoming defensive, not enjoying the way Alba is talking to her.
“You’re unbelievable. I haven’t seen her, I will try and find her. Don’t you worry, put your football above her like you always do.”
“Alba-“ she hung up before alexia could get another word in. There was one person left that Alexia had to call.
“Hola amor, why aren’t you training?” Olga’s sweet voice sounded through the phone.
“I’ve lost y/n. Can you please let me know if she comes home and if she does then don’t let her out of your sight.”
“What do you mean you’ve lost her Ale?”
“I bought her to training and she ran away while I was in the bathroom.” Pinching the bridge of her nose, Alexia already knew by the silence on the other end that Olga was trying to not yell at her.
“Alexia-“
“No I know okay. I already got an ear full from Alba. I have to go but I’ll call you later okay. I love you.” Slowly it started to creep in the fact that she had fucked up and caused you to run away. Training dragged on for Alexia, hoping that you had been found or made contact with Alba or even Olga.
Meanwhile, after hiding at the golf course for an hour, i decided to head to Isabella’s house. Knocking on the door, Isabella answered, still buttoning up her shirt. Eyes wide when she realised I was at her door.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” She closed the door slightly, so I could no longer see into the loungeroom.
“I ran away from Alexia. I was hoping we could hang out like normal?”
“Now’s not really a good time. I have someone here.” Isabella spoke quietly, not wanting to allude to the fact that the person inside wasn’t just a friend.
“Baby come back, we weren’t finished.” A guys voice yelled out.
“It’s not what you think y/n!”
“I think that guy wants your attention. I’m guessing that’s the reason you’re half dressed. Enjoy your time with him, we are done.” Tears welling in my eyes.
“I’m sorry y/n!”
“Go fuck your self Isabella.” sadness turned into anger real quick.
Isabella was my first girlfriend, my first kiss, the first person I had sex with and she goes and fucks a guy? While we are together? This is literally the last thing I wanted to deal with.
Unsure on what to do, or who to call I found my way to the beach. My throat and eyes hurt from crying so much. The pain in my chest was getting worse. Pulling out my phone, ignoring all the messages and calls, I rang the one person who would calm me.
“Hey Calabaza? What’s up?” Jenni’s voice rang through my ears. Unable to form a coherent sentence, only sobs coming out of my mouth.
“Hold on Bebé” I could hear her moving around, the voices of her teammates getting quieter, “talk to me. What happened?”
“I ran away. I ran away from Alexia and I went to Isabella’s house and she-she was cheating on me. With a guy. A fucking dude. She broke my heart Jenni. It hurts so much.”
“Oh babé. Where is Ale now? Where are you?”
“I don’t know. She’s probably at training. I’m at the beach where Papa used to take us. She’s going to be so mad at me.”
“Can you tell me why you ran away from her?” The way Jenni spoke so sweetly was something I missed dearly.
“She got me from school and took me to the training grounds. She was trying to make me train but when she went to the bathroom I ran away. I don’t want to train, I don’t want to play. I hate the game and I hate her. She doesn’t listen or care about me!” I could feel myself getting upset again.
“Okay okay, just breathe. You’re okay. I’m not going to tell her where you are but I need to tell someone. Albs has messaged me and so has Olga. You can pick who I tell.”
Pondering the options, Alba would tell Alexia but she’d also be just as angry and upset. Olga would tell Alexia but she’d be calmer and softer, that was what I needed at this moment.
“Olga. But tell her not to bring Alexia.”
“Okay bebé.” After a few moments she spoke up again, “she’s on the way. She promised no Alexia. Do you want to stay on the line with me until she comes?”
“Yes please. Can you tell me about Mexico?” Sniffling and wiping my face, I got up, walking towards the road to wait for Olga. After 25 minutes, Olga pulled up. A sad smile and worry on her face, she put an arm around me.
“Is Olga there now?” Jenni asked.
“Yeah she is. Uh thanks Jenni. Sorry for disturbing you.” Embarrassed about haven taken her time.
“No bebé, you don’t need to thank me or apologise. We are hermanas no matter what okay. You call me tomorrow when you’re feeling better. I love you.” with that she hung up. Reality slowing sinking it.
“Let’s get you home yeah? Are you hungry?” Olga smiled sadly at me.
“No thanks. Just tired.” I mumbled out.
The drive back to Alexia’s was quiet. When we pulled up, Alexia’s car wasn’t there, meaning she wasn’t home. That was good. Very good.
“She’s at Albas house. I told her you had messaged me but that I didn’t know where you were yet. It’s a small lie, but I’m sure it’s worth it.”
“Alexia hates lying.” I said lowly. Thinking back to all those times as a small girl that she yelled at me for lying.
“I know Pequeño. Do you want to tell me what happened today?”
“Everyday Isabella and I go into the city and have coffee and do our homework, but today Alexia came to school and got me. She drove us to the training grounds and said I had to train. But I-i quit. I don’t want to play anymore, I don’t enjoy it and only did it for Alexia but it was never enough. Nothing I do is ever enough for her.” Olga grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze for me to continue.
“I went to Isabella’s house and she had someone there. A guy, a guy that she was fucking. She was cheating on me for god knows how long. I thought everything was good with us. She was my first girlfriend and my first kiss. I lost my fucking virginity to her and she goes and fucks someone else? It just hurts. So much. Everything is hurting so much.”
“Oh pequeño. Come here.” Olga held me tight, my tears slowly soaking her shirt.
“Why doesn’t she love me like she loves Alba? I don’t understand.”
“Alexia?”
“Mhm. Nothing I do is good enough. I just want her to care about me more. Why can’t she?” It broke Olga’s heart hearing me say that. She didn’t know what was happening but she knew Alexia needed to fix it and fast.
After slowly showering, I thanked Olga and excused myself to bed. I didn’t think I had any tears left to cry but after crying for a while, I managed to pass out.
•———————————————————————•
After you went to your room, Olga texted Alexia, telling her she was here and safe. Alba and Alexia both rushed back to her home. Angry and worried at you, ready to both give you an ear full.
“Where is she Olga?” Alexia came in loudly.
“Keep your voice down. Both of you.” Olga was very firm.
“No she’s in trouble. She doesn’t get off lightly, we have been so worried about her.” Alexia sooke back angrily, usually she’d listen to her girlfriend but this had sent her into a rage.
“Really Ale? You’ve been worried? So worried you couldn’t train right? That you spent all night calling her friends or going to her favourite spots to try and find her?” Olga had had enough.
“Amor that’s not fair.”
“No you know what’s not fair? The fact that neither of you have been listening to her. She doesn’t want to play, she did it for you Ale. She wanted to make you proud of her. She hated playing but you wouldn’t know that. She loves to draw, and she’s really really good at it. She showed me all her work.”
Olga walked to the couch, extremely disappointed with the two women standing in front of her.
“Her girlfriend cheated on her. She found out this afternoon. She rang Jenni and Jenni messaged me. That’s how I found her. She was at the beach, heartbroken. Then when we got home, she asked why you didn’t love her Ale. She thinks you don’t care about her. That girl may have broke her heart tonight, but you broke her heart first Alexia. You’ll need to live with the fact that you were her first heartbreak.” Olga was exhausted. Neither Alexia Or Alba said anything. Both sitting in opposite ends of the lounge room, tears silently falling.
Olga excused herself to bed, leaving the older two in the lounge room to mull on their thoughts. She promised herself after your heartbreaking confession that she would have your back through this. Whatever tomorrow held, you would face it together.
#fcb femení#alexia x reader#woso fanfics#mapi león#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso community#ingrid engen#barca femeni#jenni hermoso#alexia putellas fanfic#jenni hermoso x alexia putellas#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas x reader#mapi leon x reader#alexia putellas x olga rios#fc barcelona femeni#alexia putellas
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Prev // Next
Transcript below the cut:
Atlas: Dawn. Dawn: I know. Atlas: You crossed so many lines. Dawn: I know, okay? I know.
Atlas: Why didn’t you come to me? We could’ve talked it through before you did anything. Dawn: I… I didn’t think you’d understand. Atlas: That’s fair. I’m not sure I do. Dawn: Exactly.
Atlas: So, help me understand then. Explain it to me. Dawn: [sighs] Getting married and having a baby… it brought up a lot of feelings I wasn’t prepared for. Atlas: What kind of feelings?
Dawn: Feelings about mom. I hated that she wasn’t there, that she wouldn’t want to be, that she doesn’t even know she has a granddaughter and probably never will. I was sad and I was angry, and some days I even missed her which really caught me off guard. I started to wish that she was there, that she’d realize the ways she failed us and show up wanting to make amends.
Atlas: Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Dawn: [shrugs] I didn’t want to admit it, kept telling myself that I was being silly, that I should stop clinging to this idea of a mother that I’ll never have. Atlas: What about Megan? I know she’s not your mom, but she loves you and she stepped in to help.
Dawn: I know. And I’m so grateful, I really am, but I couldn’t appreciate it at the time. Her being there almost made it more obvious what I was lacking, like it was being shoved in my face. This is going to sound so childish, but I didn’t want those things with her, I wanted them with my own mom, and I hated that I couldn’t have that. I became resentful, and then I felt guilty for not appreciating her.
Atlas: I had no idea.
Dawn: That’s because I didn’t want you to. I didn’t want anyone to. I thought if I told anyone, they’d think I was awful, so I kept it to myself, and it ate me up. And when Phoenix got that letter from his dad, it was like everything I wanted was being handed to him, and he wanted to just throw it away. I couldn’t let it go, and I let all that shit I’d been carrying cloud my judgement.
Atlas: Talk about shit timing. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.
Dawn: Yeah. It was not my finest hour. Atlas: So, how are things now?
Dawn: They’re good. Phoenix spent a few days in Chestnut Ridge, got to meet his brother and talk things out with his dad. It was a struggle at first, but things are going well. He’s decided to give his dad a chance. He says it’s for Danny, because he wants to stay in touch with him, but I think it’s more than that.
Atlas: And you? How are you doing with everything? Dawn: Better. Li referred me to a therapist. I’ve only had one session so far, but I think it will be good for me. Atlas: That’s great. Li sounds like a good friend. Dawn: She is. I’m really glad I met her.
Dawn: So, what about you? You’re married now! Atlas: I know. Who would’ve thought? Dawn: Oh please. I always knew you two would get there eventually. Can’t say I’m not disappointed I didn’t get to be there for it, though. Atlas: I know, but we had to do it our way. And I’m really happy. Dawn: And I’m really happy for you. How is he doing, by the way?
Atlas: I don’t know. He’s struggling a bit. Hasn’t really been himself since we got home. Dawn: Losing Japer really hit him hard, didn’t it? Atlas: Yeah, it did. But I feel like there’s something more going on. Dawn: Like what?
Atlas: I’m not sure, but he’ll talk to me when he’s ready. He always does. Dawn: Ough, I wish I had your patience.
#ts4#ts4 simblr#ts4 story#sims 4#sims 4 storytelling#the goode life#sims 4 challenge#starsignchallenge#starsignlegacychallenge#gen1 aries#aries pt5#atlas goode#dawn realta
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Mandatory Snuggles
Wade had to go on a mission for a bit too long, in Logan’s mind. For this terrible crime, he is sentenced to snuggle jail for 5,000 years.
(For @poolverine-week Day 6: feral behavior)
No CWs this time, besides light-hearted canon typical behavior
Read it under the cut or on ao3!
“Logan? I’m back! Just killed a shit ton of people so we can make rent this month!!”
Normally, Wade’s entrance would be greeted by at least some sort of acknowledgement from Logan. A grunt if he was tired, a once-over to check for injuries- at least, the ones that took longer than a few seconds to heal- maybe even a kiss? He was really hoping for that last option today, it had been quite the adventure…
Instead, he got Blind Al barely nodding at him, mumbling something under her breath about how she ever got herself into Wade’s fucked up life- but thanks for getting us money this time, sweetheart- and Mary Puppins jumping on his leg as she usually did. Wade welcomed both greetings, especially the latter as he scooped the wrinkly dog into his arms and let her lick the remaining blood off of him, but where was Wolvie? His precious peanut? The best mutant ever and the light of his life- he always greeted him at the door! Something was up today…
“Wolvie?” he called out, still to no response. Huh- maybe he’d fallen asleep. He probably should’ve thought about that, actually, it was quite likely… at least, it would be if this wasn’t an afternoon hit! Those were always risky as fuck, and it was Logan dutifully cooking dinner whenever he got home from one of those that always brightened his spirits afterwards. He was the best boy ever, always doing the most for him and their little family, and he’d take the claws in his chest every single time he reminded him- even when he was distracting him from said cooking- because it was true!!
An afternoon nap wasn’t out of the question, though. It wasn’t like Wade was mad at him for not cooking, he’d never asked him to in the first place! No matter how many times he told Logan that he didn’t owe him anything, he still worked as if he did… ‘Worst Wolverine’ my ass!! Still, though, this was a different routine, and that couldn’t ever mean anything good!! It could mean that his little honey badger was suffering, or worse. Logan… hated him? Logan wanted him to rot on the street now? After eight months of being his boyfriend?? What other reason would he have to not give him a kiss after work? Surely it must be true. Wade went to check their shared room, just to be sure, and-
Oh. Oh my god. He would’ve taken a picture of this if he could, but why did this have to be the day his phone broke??
In the middle of their bed was Logan, curled up and purring in a pile of Wade’s clothes. He was wearing a pair of his sweats to boot- and did I mention that the entire room smelled like Wolvie right now?? It was the best smell ever- to my nose, at least. If only AO3 had a scratch-and-sniff feature… Wouldn’t that be something? Anyways, he was purring away in the clothing pile, clutching desperately to one of his many plushies- it looked like Hops the Frog was the lucky guy today!- but he didn’t seem completely content. Or completely asleep, either. Poor Logan’s face looked all scrunched up, and he was writhing around trying to get comfortable- kinda like the first few nights they spent together! What was he doing? More importantly… how was his Wolvie feeling??
“Hey, baby boy,” Wade cooed innocently enough, but Logan’s eyes still shot open and locked with his, daring him to say a word. Or were they? He wasn’t moving from where he was- if anything, he’d pressed his face further into the flannel shirt it was next to, breathing deeply through his nose… Ohhh! Did his kitty miss him? Was that the problem? This would be a quick fix, then… if Wolvie would let him in without any claws right now, that is.
“I’m back! I mean, you can probably see me, can’t you? How… how are you feeling, Wolvie?” he asked in a much softer tone than he’d normally use in a situation like this. Logan let out a low, quiet groan, serving as his only response to that question… Wade took off his own mask, the slight dampness in Logan’s eyes now noticeable to him. Oh, poor kitty… He really hoped he didn’t worry him too much, with how long his job had gone today, but it seemed like it was too late for that now. Right now, Wade needed to help his scrunkly scrimblo pookie bear feel better… Did he know what any of those words meant? Nope! But they were all Logan nonetheless.
The sad ball of Wolverine on his bed turned around, trying his best to hide his face from the world, and especially Wade. He knew how this went by now, as Logan still thought this side of himself was weird and embarrassing to witness. When he’d told him that the first time, Wade laughed and kissed his forehead gently- he was the poster child of all things weird and embarrassing! Logan had absolutely nothing to worry about, especially not if his big, dark secret was this adorable.
“Aw, peanut- if you wanna talk about it, I’m always down for a trauma-dumping session! I can take a load of emotional release dripping down my neck and chest any day…” Logan huffed, turning around briefly to shoot Wade a glare before curling in on himself again. If only he knew how to talk to anyone like a normal person. “Or not! You can just sit there, all comfy like the big kitty cat you are, and I can go get us some chimichangas! How about that?” he asked, giving Logan a minute incase he wanted to respond…
Still nothing. Damn! Usually, calling Wolvie a kitty (y’know, because he IS!!) always got a response from him. Claws through his shoulder, a grumble of “stop calling me that” or “that’s not even close to what a wolverine is, Wade, doesn’t make any damn sense-“ it all depended on the mood, really. This afternoon, it didn’t seem like Logan wanted to do anything except bury his face as far into those pink-hearted pajama bottoms as he could. Couldn’t he do that while he was wearing them…? Well, not right now, he couldn’t. Because it was sad Wolvie hours, apparently. And it was all his fault, so if he didn’t want to talk about it or eat about it…
Wade leaned over the bed to touch Logan’s head, rubbing the hair there gently. “What does my little Wolvie want, hm?” he asked him, as though he was talking to their dog instead- just before two massive arms leapt forward and pinned Wade to Logan. “AHH!! Shit, Logi, you could’ve just asked!!” he yelped, trying to wriggle himself into a comfier position against the heavier man- to absolutely no avail. “Not that I would ever say no to you, of course…”
If Wade shifted his head just so- tilted it upwards as much as he could, with it being smushed against his shoulder by an insistent hand, he could see Logan, as cute and dangerous as ever. His expression was uncharacteristically soft, and how could Wade forget that gorgeous rumbling he felt against his own chest? His purring… so loud and deep today, it was like he’d been gone for a month or something! It always felt so good against his sore body, though, that it made him want to press up against a happy Wolverine until the end of time…
“There’s my Wolvie… Did you miss me? I know, how dare capitalism keep me away from you, but I’ll always come back! I literally can’t disappear forever, and you know it…” Wade yammered on with that same loving tone, going to scratch Logan’s fluffy beard once he got one of his hands free. His purrs only increased, leaning into his palm and rubbing his chin against it insistently.
Once his hand was acceptably covered in Wolvie scent, Logan pressed his face against Wade’s neck, rubbing against it over and over. Wade knew that Logan doing this was just as much to cover himself in Wade’s scent as to scent-mark him possessively, and his heart melted into a puddle every time he did it. Now that his hair was thoroughly within reach, Wade couldn’t resist playing with it, especially when it made Logan purr even louder… After a few seconds of them doing this- so much petting and nuzzling anyone could confuse this scene with the average hotel room of two AnthroCon attendees- the tension in Wolvie’s body seemed to loosen considerably, making Wade smile with relief.
He leaned down, kissing the top of Logan’s head several times in rapid succession. Wade’s heart could’ve exploded at the way they made Logan melt in his arms... “See? You are a kitty, Wolvie! So demanding of my attention… I wonder what would happen if I pulled away for juuust a second-“ As soon as Wade’s hand left Logan’s head, he felt a hand reach back to push it back down, claw tips sticking out and everything!! “Hehehe, yep, I knew it!! So needy… You couldn’t even wait for me to come back to smell me again?” Wade’s clothes were still strewn about around Logan, one of his shirts wrapped around his neck. Wade knew he wouldn’t be washing that one for a while...
When Wolvie pulled back, he held Wade’s face firmly with both of his big hands (paws!!) and kissed him roughly. Wade sighed happily at the rough show of affection, feeling the desperation in the way Logan licked at his lips and returning his feverish pace as they made out passionately. Usually, Logan would’ve been the first to pull away, but Wade had to push at the fluffy bastard’s chest after a long while to free himself. Maybe he could die of suffocation via Wolvie kisses another time!
What certainly wouldn’t do, though, was the look of shame that barely flashed across Wolvie’s face the moment their lips parted. Wade never wanted Logan to feel like he was being too much- au contraire, he could never have enough of him! “Wolvie, sweetie pumpkin, look at me…” He caressed Logan’s face as he did as he was told- good boy, such a sweet boy… Wade kissed his forehead, booping his nose with his thumb at the same time. “Love you, kitty,” he mumbled, and though he wouldn’t hear the words back for a couple more hours, the way Logan pressed himself to his chest told Wade all his heart needed to hear.
“Sorry for not texting back, by the way. My phone got smashed to bits by an evil landlord. Yes, I know that’s redundant, dear reader, but this one liked to curb-stomp puppies! Oh, it was bad…”
Logan just kept purring away in his arms as he spoke nonsense as usual, but in the distance, Wade heard Blind Al find the wreckage he’d left on the counter- “This is the third one this month, Wade! God damn it all…”
Much to her chagrin, neither Logan nor Wade could bring themselves to care right now.
#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#deadclaws#text link embed doesn’t work on mobile :(#but We Vibe#fluff#poolverine fanfiction#fanfiction#gale’s writing
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How To Love .05
Trafalgar Law x F!Reader
Warnings: animal death, stalking, mentions of abuse, angst, it is edited best to my slow computer abilities
A/N: here it is. yayyyyyyyyyy
~~~
Days pass without a word from the police regarding your car or the person who totaled it. Each second of the day, you checked your phone, praying for a call or a message, yet nothing. The thought of that psycho coming to the apartment haunted your dreams. They’d be staring over you, watching you sleep. And when you’d see them, they’d pull out a knife and bring their hand down. Thankfully, you always woke up before the knife actually hit you.
It causes you to lose sleep to the point that you rely on coffee and energy drinks even to keep your eyes open. The paranoia and dread that something was wrong, a shadow towering over you, was genuinely exhausting—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Thankfully, Law had been getting off around the same time as you, so he would be able to drive you home. Eustass had offered a few times, but you declined. It was still hard to be next to him. To look at the face of a man who had shattered your heart so carelessly. While you were grateful for him taking you home and getting you McDonald's that night. You still weren’t able to not want to beat the shit out of him just for making you go through the heartbreak.
Then again, if it weren’t for his infidelity, you wouldn’t have reconnected with Law. You haven’t felt like this even when with Eustass. It was just like you could stare at him for hours and never get bored. Listen to him rant and ramble about his work day or the new episode of Sora the two of you watched together. There wasn’t anything he did that you could complain about. You’d do anything for him if he asked.
“(Y/N)! Did you get the mail?” Law’s voice clears the smoke in your thoughts, returning you to the present.
“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t! I’ll be right back and get it, though!” Without wasting a breath, you put on your shoes before opening the door. Still, being careful of your hand that contains the burn you received only days prior.
As you open the door, a horrific stench hits your nose, causing you to cover your nose and mouth with your shirt. Your brows furrow as you peek your head out of the apartment, wondering what could cause such a terrible scent.
“What is…” Stepping outside, you're met with a shoebox the size of a child’s box. Kneeling, you examine the box. Pulling off one of your sliders, you use the back of it to open the lid. Upon opening it up, the stench worsens, causing you to gag. “What the hell is in there?”
Taking a cautious step towards the box, you once again use the back of your shoe to flip up the lid quickly. Holding your breath, you look inside the box before letting out a shrieking scream. The scream causes you to stumble back into the apartment before you slam the door shut. Tears stream down your face as you tremble behind the door.
Hearing the commotion, Law rushes to your aide, a look of worry and panic written on his face. “(Y/N)? What’s wrong? What happened?” He kneeled to your level to try and comfort you. You point to the door and look up at him with glassy eyes and a trembling lip.
“Outside…in the box.” A sense of unease fills Law’s stomach as he stands up. Taking another look at your terrified form, he rolls his shoulders before opening the door.
Upon opening the door, Law sees an open shoe box before the unruly scent hits his nose. “Jesus Christ-” Looking over the open lid of the shoebox, Law can feel his stomach churn. Inside the small shoebox was multiple pictures of you.
Pictures of you at work, coming home, shopping, and even some from outside the window. Many zoomed in and decorated with markers, depicting you in many ways. Black sharpie scribbled your face out, x’s over your eyes, adding horns and a tail, and even with names that he couldn’t fathom. And on top of it all, there was a dead pigeon on top of the pictures. It looks to have been deceased for a while, which is the cause of the smell.
“What the fuck?”
“I can’t believe he’s dead…” The sound of your mourns makes Law turn back to you.
“He?”
Puffy-eyed, you grab onto Law’s pajama pants leg as you struggle to breathe. “Stumpy…he was a hurt pigeon that I cared for outside my job during the winter since he doesn’t have a wing on his left side. He can’t fly and relies on me and the other cafe workers to survive. When he stopped showing up, I-...” Turning your head, you get another glimpse of the poor animal's corpse before snapping right back straight, the sight only causing more tears.
“I can’t believe someone would do something so horrible to him.” As you cried, Law couldn’t get over the multiple photos of you that were taken without you even noticing—each more eerie than the last. The fact that the person responsible hurt something that mattered to you meant this had to be someone from your inner circle.
Questions sped through his mind about who it’d be, but despite his need for answers, he knew that questions would probably upset you more. And he hated seeing you cry.
Law sat down next to you after closing the door, leaving the disturbing scene behind him as he sat on the floor beside you. His heart beat in his chest at the proximity between the two of you, the heat of your body hitting his own as he put his arm around your shoulders.
“I’m sorry (Y/N).” Law felt his heart leap when you put your head on his shoulder, curling up in the comfort he offered.
“Who could do something so cruel? To take a life like that?” You whispered into his shoulder.
“I don’t know. Only a few people and your co-workers knew about him, right?” Nodding into his shoulder, you clutch the fabric of his shirt.
“Yeah. People outside my job were (.....) and Eustass. And now, you. I could have sworn I told you…”
“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. I’m going to call the police to come and take the box. I have a feeling it has something to do with your car.”
Pulling out his phone, Law dials the police, his arm wrapped around your huddled body in a firm embrace. A small fire sparked in Law’s chest as he saw how serious it had become. Initially, Law thought it was a simple case of wrong identity when your car got vandalized, but now, with the scribbled pictures and the targeted attack on something that meant a lot to you, it was apparent he was wrong—very wrong.
You hadn’t said anything about the pictures, so he hoped that you were too distracted and distraught about ‘Stumpy’ to notice the multiple pictures. Hopefully, it’d give you some semblance of sanity not to have to feel fear in your own home, knowing someone was watching you.
~~~
You didn’t want to tell your co-workers about Stumpy or the photos that had shown up on your doorstep the day prior. Didn’t want to break their hearts and let them worry about a problem that wasn’t their own. It was hard to hide the shaken and paranoid look you now held in your eyes.
You knew why Law hadn’t brought up the pictures; he didn’t want you to have something more to worry about. While your heart fluttered at first, it was still overpowered by fear. You wished you hadn’t seen it. Wished you were left in the dark about the fact you couldn’t even the curtains open anymore in fear someone was watching you out of them.
Since Law didn’t know you knew about the pictures, he wanted you to stay home so that you didn’t have to be at work alone at night. While you would’ve agreed to it if the box had shown up at your job, it didn’t. It showed up at your door, right before the place that’s supposed to keep you safe from the horrors of the world. Now, what once had a feeling of safety had been tainted.
“Hey! Are you going to take my order or what?!” A snarky voice pulled you from your mind, dragging you back to the present.
“Oh-oh yeah, sorry. What can I get you, ma’am?”
Rolling her eyes, the woman crossed her arms and answered. “I’d like a thunderstorm Turnover with the Morning Matcha Latte. Hot.”
“Of course, and what size will that latte be?”
“Small.”
“Perfect, and your total comes to $7.86. I’ll get your turnover and wait for your drink down there.” With a huff, the lady pays and waits at the end of the counter. You rub your face with your hands before grabbing the monster next to the cash register and taking a huge chug of the carbonated drink.
Putting back down the monster can, you feel a hand on your shoulder. “I’ve got this. How about taking some water instead? You look like you could use it.” Killer’s comforting and understanding aura has you letting out a sigh of relief.
“Thanks, Killer.”
Going into the breakroom, you pour yourself some water before taking a nice sip of the cold liquid. Even with it sliding down your throat, you felt no different, so you cup your hand that wasn’t injured and let water fill them before splashing it on your face. “Come on (Y/N), get your shit together. You're fine. Nobody’s outside, the sun is still up, and I won’t be closing alone. Law will pick me up and keep me safe like he promised.” The sound of your heart echoing in your ears has your head spinning violently.
“Fuck, man. This shit sucks.”
A vibration in your pocket causes your attention to shift to your muted phone. Pulling it out, you see it’s from an unknown number. Typically, you’d never answer it, always figuring it’s from spam callers. But with everything going on, you felt this could have something to do with your stalker. If you answered it, could you use the number to track them down?
So, with a deep breath, you answer the unknown number. “Hello?”
“Hello? Is this (Y/N) (L/N)?”
Swallowing your spit, you respond. “Um, yes, it is. Can I help you?”
“Great! So your services are still available then?”
“My services? I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about.”
“Oh, come on, don’t be such a bitch. I’m a paying customer! Why put up ads for sex if you're just gonna be a prude broad?” Furrowing your brows, you pull your face away from the phone, looking down at the cellular device in shock.
“Excuse me, asshole, but I have no idea what you're talking about, so shove your pissy attitude up your dick and trip on a knife.” You slam your thumb down on the end button before blocking the number.
Ad’s? For sex? Not only have you never done anything like that before in your life, but why the hell would someone put up such an ad? And what desperate bastard would actually agree to something when it’s 9/10 a scam or a way to get robbed?
It didn’t make sense. How did your number and name get on a website that promotes that? It’s not like you give your number out to strangers. Especially not online. So how the hell could this happen?
RING! RING! RING!
Looking down, you see another unknown number. Narrowing your eyes, you have a sinking feeling about the nature of this call. “Hello?”
“Hello, beautiful. I hear you're looking for a good time.”
“No!” Once again, you end the call quickly, slamming it down on the countertop. “Fuck!”
Looking into the mirror, small tears of frustration slip past your cheeks. You quickly wipe them away before shoving your phone back into your pocket. With a quick, shaky exhale, you return to the front, ready to continue what seemed like a never-ending day.
It occurred to you that the calls could relate to the harassment you’ve been experiencing. And despite narrowing it down, the thought of someone giving out your personal number to strangers for sex made you sick. The cops could track down the people who made the call, right? They have to. Maybe you could leave early and have Law bring you to the police station to give them an update.
As you move to the register, a man approaches the counter. His face is neutral, but there is a look behind his eyes that gives you goosebumps.
“Hello. I’m Officer David, and I'm here to ask your co-workers about your case and the shoebox that was delivered to your apartment.”
“Oh! I can get them for you!” Not wasting a second, you rush to grab Killer and another co-worker to answer the officer's questions.
While you didn’t doubt he was an officer, as you saw the badge when you looked closer, he just gave you an icky feeling. “Hey, Killer, Janet, an officer wants to talk to you guys. It’s about my car?” You didn’t add the pictures or the corpse of Stumpy once again. Once again, wanting to spare them the pain of knowing a beloved shop ‘pet’ was so brutally slain.
Killer and Janet looked at one another before nodding and moving toward the cop. “I’ll finish your guys' orders, no biggie.” After giving them a thumbs-up, you quickly went to work to finish the orders.
“Hey officer, how can we help you?” Killer and Janet go to the register to answer the cops' questions.
“I have a few questions regarding the vandalization of Ms. (L/N)’s car, the shoe box full of pictures, and the animal carcass dropped off at her apartment.”
“Shoe box? We don’t know anything about a shoe box officer.”
“Yeah, first time I’m hearing about it.”
“Hmm. Well, have you two seen any suspicious activity or people nearby or around while she’s working?” Killer and Janet look at one another before Janet’s eyes widen.
“You know, now that you mention it, I think I’ve seen a red Honda Civic pull up in the parking lot around the same time every day when (Y/N) goes to take a break outside for some air.”
“Actually, yeah, I remember what you're talking about now. It has a huge crack in the front window. It never comes in for anything; it only sits in the parking lot and leaves when (Y/N) comes back in.” The officer hums in acknowledgment as he writes down their statements.
“I see. I’d like to take a look at the tapes, please.”
“Sure, our manager will be back in ten minutes, and she can open the security camera door for you.” The cop's face turns a little sour before returning to its neutral expression.
“No need. I’ll simply come back later.” Without another word, the officer left, not sparing you, Janet, or Killer another glance. The lack of lights and identification raised a few questions when he got into his car. But with no real reason to question it, you continue the work day.
~~~
The sound of call lights seems to echo in his ears as he types on his computer. It felt as if the entire day had been nonstop. One moment, there was a young patient with a common cold, and the next, he had a patient having an active heart attack. Yet every moment was spent worrying about you, the box never leaving his mind.
The pictures covered in permanent marker, x’s on your eyes, obscenities scribbled onto it, and even badly drawn art of you being killed in different ways. He was thankful you didn’t see the polaroids. He hoped you didn’t see the polaroids. The security video and deceased work pet were already enough hell for you. You didn’t need to worry about how many knives weren’t in the kitchen block at home.
“Oi, Law! We got a male twenty-three in Trauma Bay nine! Motorcycle accident. Brakes broke, and he ran a red light, getting T-boned by a car.” A nurse barged out in, out of breath, her scrubs already having a bit of blood on them.
Law quickly jumps to his feet and rushes towards the trauma bay. Nurses crowded the body on the bed, and cops waited outside the room, looking serious and communicating with one another.
“Officers, how can I help you?” Law asks as he moves close to the patient, his heart beating in his ears.
“Ah, doctor. We’re suspecting there was more to the crash than it seems.”
Law’s brows furrow. “Foul play?”
“Based on what our other officers at the scene said, it looks like the brakes were cut instead of simply worn out. It was a clean cut, and the brake discs were almost brand new. If anything seems weird at all, let us know without hesitation.”
Nodding, Law turns to the patient. “Alright, I’ll let you know—” Law’s eyes go wide as he looks down at the man lying on the stretcher.
“His stats are-doctor are you okay?”
“I-uh yes, sorry. I got distracted by something else. Tell me his stats again and what you’ve done so far.”
~~~
Looking at your phone, you sigh. Law got caught up in a surgery and couldn’t pick you up. Janet had already left, and Killer had left when he got a call. He didn’t say what it was about, but the look on his mostly covered face told you it was important and urgent. With both of them leaving, you and your manager were the only ones left at the cafe. You were supposed to leave at 5pm, but Law couldn’t make it. You didn’t want to interrupt Killer with whatever emergency he had and were too awkward to call Eustass.
You could always get a taxi, but getting into a car with a stranger sounded like hell with what was going on in your personal life. So you just sat at a booth by a window inside the cafe and huffed. You wanted to go to the police station to report your number being uploaded to a site without your permission, but it was getting dark, and the station was a 20-minute walk.
“Do you want me to call you a taxi? I know a really trustworthy one. He’s my brother, and he does it on the side for extra cash.” Your manager's voice clears the fog from your head and brings you back to the annoying present.
“Oh, no thanks, but thank you anyway, Reiju. I have nothing against you or your many brothers.”
“None taken. I can just see how much you wanna get outta here. Are you going home, or are you going to the hospital to see your lover boy?”
Your face flares hot as your eyes widen. “Shh! Reiju, someone could hear!”
“Oh, please, the cafe is empty, and it’s been empty since 4 p.m., and it’s 5:30. Everyone and their mom can see it. Even the regulars ask me if ‘that barista and tattooed man are together yet?’ almost on a daily basis. Your little love story is great for business, I must say.” Reiju chuckles at your horrified face.
“Reiju, I beg you, please tell me your lying…” Embarrassment fills your soul, and you wish you could disappear at that moment.
“I'm happy to say I'm not. And trust me, everyone thinks it’s so cute!” Smiling, Reiju gives you a hug before pulling out her keys. “Here, as a way to ease your embarrassment, I’ll give you a ride to your house. You still live with the doctor, right?”
Sighing, you run your fingers through your hair. “I mean, yeah, but that's not where I was planning on going. I just need to talk to the police about my situation again.”
“Is there a new development about who busted up your car?”
“I wish but no. Instead, I just got calls about my ‘services.’ From what I gathered between men yelling at me, I was able to pull that someone put my name and number on a random website and say I was willing to have sex for money. I never give my money out to anyone, so how can this happen? No one I know would do something so gross as to try and pimp me out. I’ve literally been getting calls all day by random numbers.”
Reiju gives you a sympathetic look. “Wow. This is…” She goes quiet for a moment before speaking. “Here, I’m giving you a ride. Put your jacket on, and I’ll be right back.”
You watch her run to the break room before returning with jacket and keys in hand.
“Wait, Reiju, who will watch the cafe?”
“It’s closed. Now put on your jacket and watch out for your hand. The burn still hasn’t healed all the way yet.”
“Reiju, I don’t want you to get fired, please. It’s okay-”
“No, it’s not okay. I won’t have one of my employees going through this while I'm on the clock. Not to mention, they won’t fire. Can’t fire their last manager.” She smirks at the end as she turns off the lights. Encasing the cafe in pitch black. Locking the doors, she starts her car and walks you to her vehicle. “Plus, I can just call my dad, and he’ll threaten them with legal action if they fire me. They’d do anything to keep some of their secrets under wraps.”
“Do you always use your dad to get out of being fired?”
“That's the only thing he’s good for, really.” You can’t help but laugh as she shrugs her shoulders and enters the vehicle. After hearing the start of the engine, you follow after her and jump into the passenger seat.
“Alright, on the road we go.” Reiju pulls out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
~~~
As you walked into the police station, you were greeted by the same cop who came to your aid when your vehicle was first destroyed. You were glad that you had someone familiar to share the new developments with.
“Miss (Y/N), I didn’t think I’d see you tonight. What brings you down to the station this late?” The officer walks you to his desk, motioning you to have a chair.
“Well, I think my stalker has put my number on some sort of site for sex. I don’t know if they did it just today or if it’s been up and just now seen. I’ve been getting calls all day about men asking for sex and to see what my ‘services prices’ are.”
The cop's face drops from welcoming to disgusted. “Oh god. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you must feel. Do you have any idea who knows how to do something of this sort?” Pulling up his computer, he tries to search whatever corners of the internet to find the ‘ad.’
“Who all could have your number?”
“Well, I don’t give my number to many people.”
“Do you think it could be some sort of prank?” shaking your head, you dig out your phone to show him the small list of contacts you have.
“I can’t. No one I keep in contact with would do something so…gross. My contact list contains only ten people. Co-workers, my roommate, a friend or two, and regrettably an ex.” The cops hum at the last revelation.
“An ex huh? Are you sure they wouldn’t be the one to put it up? As revenge for the breakup or to be petty?”
“No way. Eustass may be an asshole, but he’d never do something like that.” yet even as you spoke, a spot inside you grew a seed of doubt. Eustass has always been very petty, but he’d never give out your number like this. Then again, you thought he’d never cheat, and now look where it got you.
The cop stops typing before looking at you for a moment. “Eustass? Can you tell me his last name?”
“Yeah, it’s Eustass Kidd. He works at Punk Victoria’s Mechanics?” You watch as the cop's face drops and the gears turn in his head.
“Fire red hair, red nails, and lipstick?”
“Yep.” The sound of your confirmation only seems to trouble him further as you watch him drag his hand over his mouth and look at his computer.
“Well, that makes this much more complicated.”
Furrowing your brows, a sense of unease settles in your gut. “What? Why?” Watching the cop type something on his computer and ignore you makes you dig your nails into your palms. “Why does that make this complicated?”
Turning to you, the cop sighs. “Well, since you are on his emergency contact list and I see that the cop who was supposed to inform you hasn’t, I will be the one to tell you.”
“Tell me what?” The unease in your stomach only bubbles at the look on his face.
“This afternoon, there was an accident on Sterling Road. A motorist ran a red light and was T-boned by a car. The breaks stopped working, which made him unable to stop.”
“And by him…you mean?”
“Eustass. His motorcycle was destroyed in the process. He’s currently in the hospital.” Your hands fly to your mouth as you feel shock rush through your body. A wave of different emotions wash over you. The deep, dark parts of you, the part that still holds anger and rage, is happy karma got him. That he would feel how he felt when he fucked your ex-best friend. Yet another part, the side that aches from the memories of your time together, is horrified and worried. Is he okay? What’s his condition?
His motorcycle was also destroyed. You knew how much it meant to him. After spending so much money and time repairing it, he finally managed to fix it up, only for his breaks to stop working? There was no way Eustass would look over something as important as that.
“There were signs of foul play when we inspected the scene. It seemed his breaks had been cut. There was a clean slice in the middle of the line that couldn’t have been caused by anything other than them being tampered with.” The cop pulled out a piece of paper. “Is there anyone you can think of that would want to hurt Eustass?”
“I hadn’t talked to him in the past 5-6 months before last week. His life during that time is a complete mystery to me. I don’t know if he made any enemies since then. But I can’t think of anyone who’d want to hurt him like that.”
“I see.” The cop looks at his computer before typing something. “I’m seeing a restraining order against a woman called (.....) (..........). Do you know anyone by that name?”
Your blood runs cold upon hearing the name. You never thought you’d hear her name and ‘restraining order’ in the same sentence. Of course, you’ve come to realize she’s a horrible person after fucking Eustass, but hearing that even afterward, she wouldn’t leave him alone furled the growing hate in your heart.
“Yes. She’s my ex-best friend. She slept with Eustass when me and him were still dating and I caught them together. I haven’t talked to her since.”
“Hmm. I see. Has she made an effort to reach out and contact you?”
“No. I have her blocked on everything.”
“But she still has your number, correct?”
“I mean, yeah, but-”
“Alright. Well, I’m glad you came in. It’s helped both your and Eustass’s cases.”
“It has?”
Nodding, the cop begins to pull out some files and other such things. “I hate to cut this short, but I need to write these things down and consult with my co-workers. Feel free to contact me when anything else pops up.” The cop gives you a stick note with his name and work number before sending you on your way.
You couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed. There was obviously something he wasn’t telling you. While you know you should just be grateful that they were taking your situation seriously, the fact they're hiding things from you causes an itch you just can’t scratch.
Walking out of the cops' office, you see Reiju waiting for you. “Thanks for waiting, Reiju. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.”
Sitting up from her seat, she smiles at you. “No problem. I wasn’t just going to let you walk home in the cold at night. Now, let's get you home. The car might be cold, sorry.”
“It’s better than walking.” You chuckle.
~~~
As you sit in the car, you stare out the window, a somber look on your face. The events of the day drained your energy.
“If you don’t mind me asking, did something else happen in the cops' office? You look more upset than when you went in.” Reiju’s worried voice breaks through your thoughts. You argue whether or not to tell her. Should you tell her you're concerned about Eustass? That you learned that your ex-best friend, who you thought you knew, turned out to be a freak who stalks your ex after sleeping with them? Maybe there could be some advice she could give you on how to feel?
“Hey, so remember how I told you about not being friends with (.....) anymore?”
“Oh yeah. Good riddance. I always knew there was something about her.”
You turn your head to her, confused. “What? What makes you say that?”
“There was always an aura to her. God, how do I describe it? I guess to me and some other people at the cafe thought you could do better than her.”
“I could do better? What do you mean?”
“Well, she wasn’t the best person. It’s not your fault for not seeing it. But there were multiple instances where she just treated you super shitty, but it just flew over your head.”
Hearing that all your co-workers hated (.....) was weird. While you understood if it was after the incident, knowing it was before it all went down made you question. Did you really not see the signs? Were there actual warning signs about her doing this?
“One incident I can think of is when you were telling me a story about how she’d taken the boy you liked to prom—twice, junior and senior year.”
A burn of embarrassment hits your face as you remember that as well. When you look back on it, you feel stupid. But simultaneously, you just wanted (.....) to be happy. You remember how she had always put herself down in high school, always saying that the people she liked never liked her back. And when you asked, she said the exact person you liked. Each time, you felt terrible, so despite wanting to be the one going with your crushes, you let her go instead. Wanting her to be happy.
“Oh…Yeah, I remember that.”
“Isn’t it weird how everyone you ever liked she magically liked too?”
“I just thought we had the same taste in men.”
“Same taste isn’t the same as stealing everyone you’ve ever liked.” Keeping her eyes on the road, Reiju continues. “Tell me honestly (Y/N), can you name one time (.....) actually did something for you? Has she ever done anything to sacrifice things like you did? Did she ever say thank you even?”
You desperately tried to come up with an incident, trying to prove you weren’t as ignorant of (.....)’s actions as it seemed, but nothing came up.
“Didn’t she always rely on you to get her homework done? She’d never done anything and always copied off you. You told me she probably wouldn’t have passed high school if it weren’t for you.”
“She told me about her parents and how hard it was to contrate when they fought all the time. Her dad hated how she went to school when she ‘should’ve been at home like a real woman.’ and that her brothers would steal and rip up her homework.”
“Have you ever met her parents? Or family?” Reiju’s question actually brought up a revelation for you. You actually couldn’t recall a time you ever met her family. Growing up, you never had the desire to. But after learning and feeling like you’ve never even known (.....), you had more questions.
“I remember her coming to school wearing long-sleeved shirts and jeans. She told me it was to hide the bruises from her dad when he got mad. They only ever lasted a few days since she heals quickly.”
“Yeah, no. Bruises take more than three days to heal. It is more like two weeks at best. Depending on how bad the bruise is.”
“I don’t understand. Why would she lie about something like that? What would there be to gain? Why would she lie about something she knew meant something to me?”
“Do you wanna know what I think? Now, this may sound cruel and harsh, but whatever. I think she was lying to you (Y/N) about everything. From my point of view, it seems like she always wanted to have a one-up on you. Wanted you to fail and be there to her beck and call.”
“I…” You were speechless. Never have you thought (.....) might be lying. She wanted to be better than you or see you fail. Sure, there were instances, but there's no way everything about your friendship was a lie. It couldn’t be.
You’ve told her things you’ve told no one else—not Eustass, not Law, not anyone except her. The things you told her you were sure would never be heard by anyone else but her. What if she told others what you told her in confidant?
“Remember when you told me how the boy you liked in college ended up dating your friend after he mysteriously never told you before that she liked him?” At the realization, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on your head. But at the same time, you never told (.....) that it was Law that you liked, so how would she have known?
“I never told her his name, though. How would she have known it was him if I never said his name?”
“You said she went to the same college as you, yeah? And I’m guessing you told her his anime at first, not thinking you’d fall for him, or she could have snooped in your phone when you’d left it open. Wouldn’t put it above her if even Eustass got a restraining order on her.”
“DO you think she’d actually go through such lengths to prevent me from being happy?”
“I think theirs a lot of shit she’d done that you’ve blocked out over the years. I think the (.....) you know is a shame. A huge lie.”
“But why? Why would she do something like this? Spend years of her life just to try and make me unhappy?”
“Don’t know. Wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t.” Reiju’s words bounced around in your head like a ball. Distracting you from the world around you. Pulling you from reality to search your memory of the past of all the times she’s done you wrong.
~~~
“Hey, we’re at your apartment. Doesn’t look like Law’s here.” Pulled from your flashbacks, you're met with the sight of a dark rainy night and your apartment building in front of you.
“Oh, we are. Well, thank you, Reiju. I really owe you one.”
“It’s no problem really. Go take care of yourself, okay? Take a relaxing bath, eat some ice cream, and get some good sleep. Good night (Y/N), and stay safe.”
“Goodnight, Reiju. Thank you again.” You leave her car and wave goodbye. The rain hits your body repeatedly, making you rush to the safety of your apartment.
As you walk up the stairs to the 2nd floor, only one thing runs through your mind despite it being so close to home. So close to the place where you felt at least a shred of safety.
Did you really know (.....) or were you too blind to see (.....) true intentions?
~~~
Also I KNOW Reiju is actually pink but reader was pink first so-
Here is a promotion poster for one of the drinks at the cafe reader works at:
taglist:
@yuki190 @stachelrose @loraleiii @axcel-lucci @st4rfevrr @rexspersonalhell @nanapurinpurin @elen-alambil @starlightkitten19 @bby-deerling @queenofthekill @chaes-tea @emmaiscool22 @shuujin @augustanna @likeliterallywtf @iraaiitz @cherrybomb5000 @lavenderkaye106 @jabean @wrennyx @jamaicaa-blakee @ashortdork @kat2tired @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @getsue @kaptain-rebekah @reigenmagnet @rebeccawinters @keenzinemugstudent @mydearlybeloathed @firefistussy @throne-inmyside @littleleelee @thepurpleempath @yuji4lierrr @whodissbitj @slut-for-buck @ihatespidersdie @bluebunny002 @gabi-moureira @blairbellerose @luciledreamz @mrstraffy @yukiyury @lunalovesthe-moon @kenqki @100520s
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Rude Hylian: that water control doesn't look very threatening, and it wouldn't be useful in an area without water, so what are you going to do with that size and useless power, huh?
reader developing a branch of waterbending called 'bloodbending': (・▽・)
It would also be funny if the chain was in danger, many enemies, few supplies, weapons are exhausted, Hyrule is about to collapse and suddenly reader is like 'The Windows operating system has been updated'
This is so funny to me, but I think I ended up writing something more serious hehe Ah, I think today is thanksgiving for you guys, so happy thanksgiving ;)
I felt my body burning and my head buzzing, when the sound of the environment was nothing more than a great confusion. A hot liquid ran down my head, which throbbed with pain. My blurred vision could barely notice as the blond heroes fought not far from me.
Unfortunately, they were all too busy to help me. Each one had to deal with one or more enemies, I could feel their worried looks at me, but they couldn’t leave there to help me. The biggest problem was the member of the Yiga clan who was coming towards me. The same one who attacked me.
Normally, I could easily help them with this using my waterbending, but unfortunately for me, we were in a dry region now. We were heading towards the Gerudo Desert when we were caught in this ambush, and the mountains we were crossing weren’t exactly a good representative of water. Shit.
I managed to get up, still a little dizzy, but able to stay on my feet and try to face my enemy. He laughed, laughed at my attempt to keep fighting.
— Don’t bother, girl. We knew very well that with water you would be a threat, that’s why we made sure you passed through here. Here you are nothing more than a defenseless little girl.
He said, laughing at my face as if I were a big joke. Little shit. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the boys try to come to me, but they were automatically stopped by a Yiga. Fucking cowards, they ran away to the desert so they wouldn’t have to face me.
My blood boiled, anger took over me, I wanted so much to end these idiots. I wanted to drown them in water, kick their asses, make them regret their choices.
— There’s no point in trying, you won’t-
— Shut the fuck up! – I interrupted him. My body acted on impulse, I moved so naturally that I couldn’t even think, all I know is that, with one movement of mine, the Yiga was kneeling, writhing in pain.
Did I do that? Instincts, that was all the information I had. And, somehow, that was enough to make me able to control a person. Or rather, control the blood, the liquids, that are in their body. Cool.
I couldn’t help but smile wryly, it seems that not even in a place without water can they stand against me. Now consciously, I moved my hands, still based entirely on instincts, and threw the Yiga away, making him fly out of sight.
This isn’t as easy as normal waterbending, it requires more effort, but I feel like I’m adapting to it. I managed to stop the blood that was running down my face, eliminating my dizziness, and turned to the Yigas who were attacking the heroes. They seemed to be able to handle it, but it doesn’t hurt to help them.
One by one, I levitated and threw them away, leaving them unconscious. I know I could do much worse with bloodbending, but I don’t want to lose control, I don’t even know how I’m doing it yet. In the end, I managed to get rid of the remaining enemies, allowing this tiring battle to end.
— How the fuck did you do that?! – Was the first thing the Veteran asked. I just shrugged, also not knowing the answer.
— Are you okay? – Hyrule said, coming towards me. The poor guy looked like he was done for after using so much of his magic when some of his brothers were hit during the fight.
— It’s okay, I managed to stop the bleeding. Sorry, I don’t know if I can heal you without water...
— Is there water in my canteen, is that enough? – The Rancher asked, offering his canteen to me.
— For healing? I think so.
— That was so cool! Tell me more about how it happened? – Wind asked excitedly, making me laugh.
— Let’s fix you guys first, okay?
#link x reader#linked universe x reader#linked universe#tloz#linked universe fanfic#lu x reader#legend of zelda#x reader
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Season to Taste - 30/? WIP
Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another. Heading into this little world.
PROLOGUE/ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN (interlude) ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FORTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY (interlude) TWENTYONE TWENTYTWO TWENTYTHREE TWENTYFOUR TWENTYFIVE TWENTYSIX TWENTYSEVEN TWENTYEIGHT TWENTYNINE
Reminder that decade chapters are Ice/Mav interludes.
CHAPTER THIRTY INTERLUDE (Ice / Mav)
They have a few episodes to catch up on now, because Pete’s been away training and he promised he wouldn’t watch without him. He’s been itching to watch, getting more and more impatient. Mainly due to Slider sending him a message with I know something you don’t know followed by a row of shit emojis, interspersed with the exploding head. He’s not sure what it means, but he also hadn’t known how to respond at the time. It had prompted Slider to call him, which had been nice, except Slider had gotten annoyed about something before saying he needed to go and talk to someone, and that to call him if he needed anything.
Cryptic bastard.
Mav gets home and they settle in, bowls of pasta which has become the go-to comfort meal for Mav to eat while he watches Bradley strut around a kitchen looking happy and competent and, he suspect, safe and well. They get through the first two episodes, and there’s drama around the new restaurant, and orders being wrong, and then there is Violet, the young woman who refers to Bradley as her cousin. She’s grinning into the camera, telling them they have a surprise for Bradley, and he wonders if they’ve flown over some more of his Italian family and friends. They’ve done that before, and it’s sweet to see Bradley be so loved that are allowed to be close to him.
Then the screen is blurry, but the blurriness immediately reduces to be centered around one figure. Violet is talking to the blur like it’s an old friend, laughing and joking. But Tom’s eyes are caught on the fact that the blurred figure is very clearly in uniform, and only the top half is blurred. He’s leaning forward, and he notes Pete is as well, not that his attention was anywhere else, but he’s now lazer focused.
“This is Bradley’s boyfriend,” Violet is saying to the camera. “We’re going to surprise him. He’s back early from his deployment so Bradley isn’t expecting him.”
“He has a boyfriend in the military…” Pete says, and his voice is doing something odd and pitchy, but Tom is already running his head through any and all deployments he knows of that finished early, because this isn’t just military, but the man is wearing brown shoes, which is something he’s familiar with. Mav hasn’t picked up on it yet, seems to be squinting as if it will somehow make the blurriness fade into something he’ll recognize.
Aviator.
Bradley’s boyfriend is a naval aviator.
What are the fucking chances.
“Yeah,” Tom murmurs, because this is what Slider had been teasing him about. Not only did Slider know about the boyfriend but Tom would put good money on him also knowing exactly who it is.
On screen Bradley’s face is completely lit up, then he’s kissing his boyfriend. At least Tom assumes that’s what happening behind the little section of blurred image. He feels a surge of pride and happiness that at least Bradley never had to deal with DADT, is clearly happy and well adjusted and his boyfriend is clearly happy to kiss him with an entire film crew recording.
“Can we find out who it is?” Pete asks
“By we I assume you mean me...”
“Of course.”
Tom could just ask Bradley. That would be the easiest solution. And the one Slider will definitely push him toward.
Except Bradley hasn’t shared this with him, and that hurts.
He hasn’t asked, either. Because he doesn’t want to pry. Doesn’t want to be that asshole parental figure that is always asking about a partner, or kids, or a wedding. He knows what that’s like and he’s tried very hard to avoid that. Except if Bradley thinks he doesn’t care then he’s over-corrected terribly and he will need to ring Bradley and let him know that is definitely not the case. But first he’s going to ring Slider and pick his brains.
“Thought I’d be hearing from you…”
“Yeah well… god, I’d kill for a cigarette.”
“I thought you quit.”
“I did. Doesn’t stop me wanting one.”
“Okay. Well… I’d say something about your oral fixation and Mav but I don’t want to get black out drunk tonight to wipe the mental image. So. Bradley has a boyfriend. I’m assuming you picked up the little detail…”
“Of course. He’s a naval aviator.”
“Sure is!” Slider replies, and Tom can feel his overwhelming sense of amusement through the phone.
“And you know who it is.”
“Yep.”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“Hmm. Thinking about it.” Tom rolls his eyes.
“Slider…”
“Don’t you think it’s kind of funny? That despite everything, the kid has ended up with a naval aviator.”
“Don’t marry them off yet.”
“They’ve been together over three years, I won’t be marrying them off but I also wouldn’t be surprised to get an invitation in the mail.”
“Three years…” Tom repeats, a little shocked and now feeling more hurt that for some reason Bradley didn’t share this. What reason did he come up with?
“Yes. Now, with all the deployments it’s not quite the regular standard relationship, but Bradley knows that. And they… they’re sweet together. Reminds me of his dad that way.”
That hits Tom like a one-two punch, because what does Bradley even remember of Carole and Nick’s relationship?
“Call him and talk to him Tom. I think he’ll be more than ready to talk now.”
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Pick-Up
Jesse Pinkman & Ignacio "Nacho" Varga
For @narcosfandomdiscord Book of Near Misses: fanwork with two characters from the same show who have never met
Warnings: 18+, language, no plot just vibes
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: do you ever think about the fact that these two never got to meet? because i sure do!!!!!! i feel like there is more down the line that i would like to do with these two in a different story. but for now there's this! also my first time ever writing for Jesse so 🫡
“Yo!” Jesse banged on the safehouse door. “Open up!”
He didn’t hear anyone calling back to him, didn’t hear any movement from the other side of the door at all. Letting out a deep sigh, he started to make his way around the house. All of the curtains were covering the windows, all the locks on them secured. The only car in the driveway was his own, and for a moment Jesse couldn’t help but to think that maybe Mike had sent him off on some sort of wild goose chase. Punishment for whatever he’d done most recently that had annoyed him.
When he wound up back at the front door again, Jesse was about to turn around and walk off. He’d been through enough bouts of hazing and pointless trips. What he didn’t want, though, was to get into deeper trouble because he didn’t do what he was supposed to. There was still always the off-chance that this was all legit.
Standing halfway between the front door and the car, Jesse took out his phone and dialed one of the four numbers that were programmed into it. Bringing the phone up to his ear, he let it ring. His shoulders slumped, head tilting back as he waited to be sent to voicemail, to a voicemail box that probably wouldn’t even let him leave a message.
“What?” Mike’s voice came through on the other end of the line, as unamused as he ever was.
“Did you even send me to the right place?” Jesse asked.
“Did you go to the right place?” he rebutted.
Jesse rolled his eyes, able to picture perfectly Mike’s expression even though the two of them were miles and miles away from each other. “I think I can match a house number and a street name.”
“Okay, then, you’re in the right spot.”
“Does your guy know I’m coming, then? Because I’m out here banging on the door and—”
“Did you really think that banging on the door was the best course of action? For a man that’s currently a fugitive and on the run from—”
“Alright, alright. So,” Jesse shrugged, “what, then?”
“There’s a number in your phone that you’ve never had to call before.” He paused, a meaningful silence that lasted just long enough for Jesse to put two and two together on his own. “Call it.”
Jesse opened his mouth to respond, something along the lines of, “How was I supposed to know?” or “Why wasn’t that part of the directions?” But before he could say anything the line went dead. He huffed before navigating his way through the umpteenth flip phone that he’d had and gone through.
He hovered over the contact saved into his phone as only NV. He looked back up at the windows on the front of the house, hoping to catch some movement in the curtains and getting nothing. Finally, he hit the dial button.
When the person on the other end of the line answered, they didn’t say anything. Jesse could hear the faint waves of static, but no breathing, no voice. “Look, I’m gonna wait out here for five more minutes and then I’m turning around and going home. I’m only out here because Mike—”
“Mike sent you?” the man on the other end of the line finally spoke up at the sound of a familiar name.
“Yeah,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. “Sent me because he’s too busy doing other shit, I guess.” He paused, waited for the man to say something else, and when he didn’t, he said, “Four minutes, dude.”
Jesse waited for a response but it never came. Once more he was faced with a dead phone line and he briefly wondered if there would ever be a time in his life again when people actually gave him a response of some kind before hanging up. A simple “Got it” or “Thanks” would work in lieu of a real goodbye, but he never seemed to get anything these days.
He stood there and continued to stare at the front of the house. He watched the windows, the curtains still not showing any kind of movement. He wasn’t really close enough to hear the sounds of any scuffling around inside but he still strained an ear just in case. Another minute had almost ticked by, which never really felt like a long time until Jesse was standing aimlessly in someone’s driveway, and the front door still hadn’t opened.
Finally hitting the point where he felt like he’d either been set up for failure, or was about to fall into some sort of trap, Jesse shook his head and mumbled a quiet, “Fuck this,” to himself before continuing the trek back to the car.
Just as his fingers wrapped around the handle of the car door, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning in the direction of it, he saw a man walking out from behind the house. He had a bag slung over one shoulder, and a gun clutched with both hands pointed at the ground. Jesse’s face scrunched in confusion as much at the gun as at the state of the man in general.
Mike hadn’t told him much of anything about the errand that he was on, which was typical. He definitely hadn’t given Jesse a description of the person that he was supposed to be transporting which, looking back on it seemed like just as much of a security measure as it was a liability but there was nothing that he was ever going to be able to do about that.
Whoever this guy was, he certainly wasn’t dressed like a man on the run with the exception of the gun in his hands. He didn’t fit the bill for a guy who had been hiding out in a safehouse for who knows how long. Even though his shirt was dingy and wrinkled now, Jesse could see that on a better day, it was nicer than anything that was in his own closet. The boots on his feet weren’t the kind made for the types of treks they would most likely find themselves on.
There was no shortage to the number of comments that crossed Jesse’s mind to make as the man walked closer to him. The one he settled on, however, was emphasized with a perplexed look as he said, “Dude, what are you doing?”
The man mirrored his expression, though there was more annoyance etched into his features than Jesse’s. “What?”
Jesse nodded towards the gun that he was holding. “What are you doing? It’s just,” he held his hands out, gesturing to the space around the two of them, “just us. Gonna pop your ride out of here?”
He kept both hands on the gun still, however the muscles in his arms lost a little bit of their tension. “If you’re my ride,” he said, giving Jesse a pointed once-over as he did, “then yeah, sorry if I don’t wanna just take my chances.”
“You think Mike would send me all the way out here just to—”
“Even if you’re not here to kill me, I don’t exactly trust that you’re gonna be able to stop someone else who wants to,” he explained. He didn’t want to say it, but he also wouldn’t put it past Mike or anyone in their business to send someone all the way out to where he was just to get rid of him. Whoever this kid was that Mike sent didn’t seem like the kind of guy he’d send for that kind of job, but he knew better now than to say things like never.
Jesse rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” Finally reaching and pulling the door open, he said, “Get in. Or don’t.”
Jesse had hardly sat down in the driver’s seat before turning the car back on. He was half-expecting whoever this guy was to turn around and walk back towards the house. Jesse wouldn’t have stopped him. Leaning across the console, Jesse stared out through the passenger window to see what the guy was doing, and found him doing another scan around them before finally opening the door and getting inside.
He watched the man as he set his bag on the floor between his feet. Jesse contemplated offering for him to throw it in the back seat, but the gun still being held in one of the guy’s hands was telling Jesse that the level of trust probably wasn’t quite there yet.
“Jesse,” he said as he shifted to reverse.
“What?”
Jesse looked at him before continuing on to look over his shoulder to back out of the crumbling driveway. “My name is Jesse. This is, you know,” he put the car into drive, “the part where you tell me who you are, what makes you so special.”
He stared at Jesse skeptically for a moment as he started off down the road. The car rattled slightly, filing what would’ve been deafening silence otherwise. He sat and he stared until Jesse turned to give him a quick glance before locking back onto the road. “Dude, it’s gonna be a long-ass drive if you’re just gonna sit there and stare at me in silence.”
He narrowed his eyes just slightly before finally saying, “Nacho.”
The chuckle that Jesse let out at that was reflexive. It was far from the strangest nickname he’d heard, and given the circles that he’d found himself running in lately he should know better than to laugh. But he couldn’t stop himself. He shook his head slightly as he reined in the other laughs that wanted to sneak their way out, an undeniable smirk on his face.
“Nacho,” he repeated with emphasis that was only amusing to him, “right on, yo.”
Jesse sat and waited for another moment longer, wondering if Nacho was going to have anything to say in response to that. He wasn’t looking for the guy’s life story, but he was wondering if Nacho was going to divulge anything about why they were in their current situation. Maybe even say how he knew Mike, or why Mike gave enough of a crap about him to have someone go out and fetch him, but didn’t give so much of a crap to come out and rescue Nacho himself. He’d settle for anything, but as Nacho settled back in his seat, gun still in his lap, Jesse knew that he wasn’t going to get any information that he didn’t pry or dig for.
“Right,” Jesse muttered under his breath. Not wanting to just listen to the rattling of the car on the road, and since his temporary partner didn’t seem to have anything to say, Jesse reached and turned the radio on to fill the void.
Music blared from the speakers for about forty seconds before Nacho shook his head and reached forward to shut it off. Nacho scoffed at the noise, and Jesse rolled his eyes at the lack of it.
Silence persisted for another minute or two before Jesse started to improvise, drumming his hands on the steering wheel. The rhythm didn’t feel familiar to Nacho, and he wondered if Jesse even had something in mind or if it was just stream of consciousness at this point. Nacho turned and looked at him as he drove and decided that there was no forethought happening there.
“Turn it back on,” Nacho finally said with a shake of his head.
“What?” Jesse asked, looking over at the man in the passenger seat.
“The radio.” He leaned so that his elbow was propped on the tiny ledge built into the car door. “Turn it back on,” he repeated as he propped his chin in his hand that wasn’t holding onto the gun.
Jesse rolled his eyes but he did as instructed, just glad to have something aside from his own thoughts to listen to. “Alright.” With both hands back on the wheel, he still found himself tapping his thumbs against it but it wasn’t audible. Eyes still trained on the road, he said, “Should’ve known that Mike wasn’t sending me to pick up anyone fun.”
“I—”
“If you’re looking for fun I think you’re looking in…the worst places possible.”
The sound Jesse made next wasn’t quite a chuckle, just that short, sharp exhale through his nose to prove that he’d heard and understood what Nacho was saying whether or not he agreed with it. Something about the response made it all click for him in a way, why Mike had sent Jesse out to the middle of nowhere to pick this guy up. Nacho might not have been in the divulging mood, probably wouldn’t ever be based on what Jesse had seen so far, but he didn’t need to know anything else to see how the web tangled itself together.
Leaning back in the driver’s seat, Jesse reached to turn the volume up two more notches before letting his hand fall onto the center console instead of back on the steering wheel. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nacho give another shake of his head, but neither of them said anything to the other. The ends of Jesse’s mouth curled upwards as he continued on down the road, preparing for a long, quiet drive back home.
#narcovember#book of near misses#better call saul#better call saul fanfiction#bcs#bcs fanfiction#jesse pinkman#jesse pinkman fanfiction#nacho varga#nacho varga fanfiction#my writing#fanfiction#drabblesmc
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“Apollo?” A voice called out from the earpiece of his phone. “Are you there?” His first instinct was to fight the arms against him. He was hurt, and Isaac knew it, but Apollo had always been touch-starved and could already feel the anger leaking out of his bones. “I’m here,” He said, leaning back against Isaac’s chest. He closed his eyes and sucked in an audible breath before continuing, “I’m getting a shipment at work tomorrow, and I can’t be there.” He cleared his throat. Isaac’s fingers pressed into his bare skin, leaving a fire trail in their wake. “Can you stop by and sign for me?” After her confirmation and ignoring her questions about what he was busy with, Apollo hung up the phone.
He tucked his phone back into his pocket, his body erupting into goosebumps as Isaac’s lips pressed against his skin. Apollo turned to face him, careful not to break Isaac’s hold on him. He knew he should still be upset that he was upset for a valid reason, but Apollo found he was too exhausted to hold onto that anger any longer. “I won’t go,” He said softly, leaning forward to press his forehead against Isaac’s. “I’ll stay.”Apollo wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, pressing his body closer to Isaac’s warmth, craving it in ways he had thought impossible. Still, Isaac always had the power to make Apollo long for more.
“But,” He said after a quiet moment, “You have to work out your shit with Cassio.” Apollo tangled his fingers through Isaac’s curls, tilting the man’s face down to look at him. “Because I won’t choose between you two. I can’t. If it comes down to that, I will walk away from both of you.” He wouldn’t, couldn’t, because that would probably kill Apollo, but it was the best threat he had in his back pocket, but Isaac was never one to call him out of his bluffs. He knew just how stubborn the man could be. “Don’t make me do that.”
Apollo leaned forward, nudging his nose against Isaac’s, and kissed the man softly, reassuringly. He had spent years kissing Isaac at this point, but this time, it sent tingles down his spine. It felt like kissing him for the first time in that maze back at university. Apollo moaned softly, deepening their kiss, his grip on Isaac’s hair tightening, tugging gently. He felt warm and couldn’t stop pulling Isaac towards the bed. He knew, vaguely in the back of his mind, that Cassio and Oliver were downstairs with the kid, but everything inside of him was telling him they would wait. “Isaac,” Apollo said his name gently after breaking away from their kiss, the back of his knees hitting the bed, and Apollo’s body came down on top of it next. His body felt feverish, or maybe because this was his favorite part post-fight, the making-up bit. “Come here,” Apollo all but purred. He took his fingers through the loop of his boyfriend’s pants, tugging him forward until he was nestled in between Apollo’s legs. “We have time, come here.”
________________
“Hey, so,” Oliver said, turning his head up to look at Cassio. After Isaac had left to go makeup with Apollo, he snuggled under the blond’s arm, leaning into his side. It had been almost ten minutes of silence from upstairs, and to be fair, Oliver had expected them to be back down by now. It only took a glance from Theodore, seeing Oliver and Cassio cuddling, before the toddler abandoned his toys and approached them. His head rested on Cass’ thigh, and he was fighting the lull of sleep. “What you said earlier?” Oliver tilted his head back onto Cassio’s shoulder, soothingly moving his fingers through Theodore’s hair. It was wild how he had only known the boy for an hour, and it already felt like he had known him his entire life. It wasn’t saying much because Oliver typically loved everyone within ten minutes of meeting them, but he was fond of the little guy. Sure, it was weird that he remembered events he wasn’t present for, but he was just a kid. How bad could the real story be?
“Is that something you want, you know, in the future?” he asked. The kids with me part remained unspoken, but Oliver figured Cassio would catch his drift. “I’ve always been kind of torn. Coming from a huge family like mine was always overwhelming and sucked sometimes. But on the other hand, I have a massive support system when I need it, and even though my brothers are kind of assholes, they do tend to always pull through for me, and I don’t know who I would be without them. I-” He paused, looking back at Cassio to judge his reaction. “I mean, I don’t want as many kids as my parents had, but I think two would be nice. They’ll always have each other that way. What, um, do you think when you think about the future?”
He itched to run after Apollo. This was too hard not actually getting to speak to him and trying to keep up his own act. Because if he were being honest, he was scared that this could be more than they were able to see in that moment. His hand squeezed his boyfriend's tightly and he managed to smile for him. "Honestly?" He asked, his shoulders shrugging deep. There was no telling what was the right answer. But he did know they couldn't run. Together was safest for them all at the moment as far as he was concerned. "I don't think we should leave. I know that Isaac is .." He swallowed and shook his head. "He's upset just like Apollo and I can't blame either of them. I wouldn't know what to do either." He offered the smallest of smiles to him and decided to settle in against him, watching the little boy reluctantly clean up all of his things.
"I do know this." He started, shyly looking up at him from under his lashes. "I can't leave you alone with a line of credit when there's a child around." He laughed softly, winking at Theo when he showed him yet another gift Oliver had went through all the trouble to pick out for the little one. Cass brought their hands up against his lips and gently kissed each of his knuckles lightly. "I think you'd make a great dad." His voice was soft and he let their fingers rest against his lips after he'd said it, feeling the weight of it. But more so realizing that he wasn't opposed to this for them. Which scared the hell out of him.
_________________________
Isaac stood so still he wasn't entirely sure he was breathing at that moment. He'd brought that on himself and he knew it. And maybe it was a little of an exaggeration, just a little. But who would have completely acted perfectly having this thrown in their lap. Isaac knew deep down that the way Apollo felt for Cassio wasn't as it had felt to him, but how did he explain that? They'd always discussed how difficult things had been for Apollo growing up but Isaac hadn't the easiest go of it either. Being veela was hard enough, no matter the amount, but to be a male one? He'd struggled through what came easily to the women of his kind but he thought himself mostly well adjusted. Well, he had until he'd encountered the other men under this roof.
He drew in a deep breath, feeling the headache start to swell behind his eye and he'd cursed under his breath. If he didn't get this back under control and his sister showed up, they were worse for wear. Though, a woman's hand might not be the worst .. Stop. He'd exhaled and found himself staring at the door. There was no chance in hell that the pair, and the boy, hadn't heard that and so there was no point in pretending. Isaac fixed his face, wiping away the tear streaks he hadn't realized were there and he pushed open the door with his own flair. Isaac strolled into the room as if nothing had happened. Because for now, it hadn't, if he were going to do this, then the most positive mood had to be in the forefront of his mind. He'd hate himself for it later but if you had it, why not use it.
"Olive'h" He smiled and turned to Cass and nodded, "Cass. I thin' we maybe are a bi' ove'whelmed." Because that was the understatement of the century. He was careful to touch them both on their knees just so. He'd peeked over his shoulder at the little boy and smiled brightly at him. It was then he'd felt a tightness in his chest and it nearly overwhelmed him how much that little smile truly brightened his whole mood. His attention shot back to the other two and he cleared his throat. His hands started to feel warm from the contact and soon their faces began to soften and grow to almost glow. "If ya wouldn' min' jus' keepin' an eye o' him fo' jus' a momen'." Cass' cheeks were damn near red at that moment and it was then that Isaac saw, perhaps for the first time that he hadn't looked at him once in those few moments. No, his attention was solely on Oliver and he felt as if he'd been invading a private moment between them. "An' .." He started, slowly coming to stand and withdrawing his influence to a softer ray. "'m sorry i' ya heard us in there it's jus ..."
"It's okay. Maddox's aren't easy." And the two of them, Isaac and Cassio looked at each other and smiled in some sort of understanding in that moment. I nodded and excused himself to their room where he heard Apollo on the phone. He was already too late. Well ...
Isaac walked right in and closed the door behind him. He'd felt the glare from Apollo while he had the phone pressed to his ear but he advanced on him quickly. This could only work if he didn't give Apollo a chance to dodge him. His arms wrapped around the man from the back and Isaac pressed his cheek to the back of Apollo's neck. The direct contact to flesh had always been better, especially for him since his claim was less than half. "'m sorry." He whispered, those salt water streaks coming back to litter his cheeks and soak the other's shirt. He didn't care. If it meant he didn't leave, didn't go where Isaac couldn't follow then it would be worth it. And maybe he'd be mad at him after, maybe he'd not even tell him but that was something he'd have to wrestle with later.
"Please don' go." He didn't care if he could be heard but he had a sinking feeling she was already on her way. "I don' wan' ya to thin' I don' pick this i's jus' ...." He felt his breath catch and he paused, clutching Apollo tighter, his face moving until his lips brushed against the sharp angle of his hair line. "We can do this jus' don' leave." He felt his magic warming his own body and he went further, his fingertips shoving up underneath of Apollo's shirt. The contact felt like it was going to melt him but in the best way possible. "Please?"
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The Captain just wanted to be loved.
#all of the breaking and entering and stolen valour and heartbreak and humiliation#he served in a war and received no medals for it#if he had he wouldn’t have to go through all this shit#all he wanted to do was see his lieutenant again#he wanted to be loved and recognized and respected#by anyone#but mainly by havers#he just wanted love and he died before he could properly get it#until the other ghosts and alison of course#I could go on and on but you get it#you definitely get it by now#I’m so fucking tired so I’m going to bed#goodnight I love you <3#bbc ghosts#the captain#bbc ghosts spoilers
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NO HATE TO THE VID funny as hell got a GREAT laugh outta it but the comments are killing me these niggas don’t reeead
#stop IK I was gonna go through this when they brought the ‘ashckiually Superman stopped Batman from killing joker so Jason should hate him#instead’ shit to tiktok#ok so let’s ignore EVERYTHING else right#Jason’s issue is that Bruce is his DAD and didn’t do shit#like that’s part of why he’s mad#bc if it were THE OTHER WAY AROUND jason wouldn’t rest till joker was done#let’s say Superman stopped Bruce that time#Bruce still had the chance everytime joker was fucking around in Gotham after#that time doesn’t mean shit#like even if u don’t read u should have the most basic grasp on these characters and common sense#and it’s like back to the point#first of all that comic was racist as hell off rip#but Superman stopped him partly bc joker had#what’s the fucking word#diplomatic immunity yes atp killing joker would’ve been a huge problem#but also. Clark and Bruce are FRIENDS#they KNOW eachother#Clark knows killing joker would’ve fucked Bruce up terrible#like it’s crazy cause it’s Bruce Stans WFA defenders and happy go lucky Batman dummies saying this#but y’all rationalize Bruce reviving joker bc dick would never forgive himself for taking a life but turn around and say it’s Clark’s fault#and they should bring the kryptonite out for the SAME SHIT#and i think genuinely partly bc duh it’s a comic book y’all don’t understand the gravity of taking a life#and it sounds silly to say but when u talk about the no killing rule THATS how u have to think of it#it’s not just canon fodder or background characters or defeating the big bad to these people#Like idk analyzing the killing rule and it’s consequences from an outside perspective is fine#but when you bring that outside perspective into in world characterization without acknowledging that they don’t have this knowledge we do#like i say this all the time#but the charcaters don’t know they’re characters (well kind of depends) but they don’t know the narratives or lessons they’re teaching#Bruce doesn’t know his no killing rule is a meta commentary on the death penalty and reformation or whatever that’s just his beliefs. and#and ofc it’s crosses over and shit but using the exact same language and thoughts you’d use irl for these characters is sooo
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how I met your mother is so perfect
#like the entire show is just them talking about how he met their mother and it took Ted soooo fuckign long to find her#and he had to go through so much shit in order to get there#and there were so many times where he almost met her#so you think to yourself why didn’t he meet her then and if you say to make the show go on longer leave right now#he had to meet her at the perfect time which was the time he was most ready#she wouldn’t have been the love of his life if he had met her even a couple weeks ago#and then when they meet there’s that one episode where you see that it wasn’t just instant soulmate connection on the first date#they had to try and make it work and decide to put in the effort in the hope that it would be worth it#and if he met her any earlier he wouldn’t have been able to do that he would’ve just left her at the first sign of trouble#it’s so beautiful I think about it all the time#even though the show ended shittily and how I met your father was a terrible follow up
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Giving the nerd a chance
tags: nerd!nanami/fem!reader, college!au, stsg, nsfw, dirty talk, asphyxiation, size kink, mdni!!
a/n: this one’s a long one :) pace yourself and enjoy!
Kento Nanami is a social enigma. He is a total outlier but in the weirdest way possible.
This man is conventionally attractive. Some would even go as far to say Nanami’s handsome, almost in a filthy way. His looks are sneaky too. He’s not someone you’d immediately notice in a room, but once you did…
You would notice his sculpted jaw line first. Then, his naturally high cheekbones that gave way to his soft hazel eyes. He had a serious look on his face always, but his eyes told a different story. Maybe you’d notice his blonde hair that sat neatly on his head, styled with an undercut. Yeah, Nanami was fucking hot.
But that’s not the weird part. No, you haven’t heard him utter a single word except to answer the professor’s unanswered questions once the silence was unbearable.
That’s not exactly weird either. There are tons of people who go through college without the intention of making friends… but Nanami has friends. He doesn’t just have like one friend. No, he’s apart of a friend group.
The weirdest part was he seemed to be close with the most popular guy in your university, star quarterback Satoru Gojo. Gojo was seemingly every college girl’s wet dream. He’s the type to stand out in a room. His looks and personality demand attention.
He’s the complete opposite from Nanami.
Then, there was Suguru Geto… Geto was also a strange friend for Nanami to have. Geto was smart, funny, and well-mannered… when he was in class. But you’ve seen how Geto acts at parties. He smokes cigarettes, shotguns whiskey, and keeps up with all of Gojo’s antics. Shoko was the exact same way, except she didn’t care enough to keep up with Gojo’s buffoonery.
They were the complete opposite from Nanami as well.
Yu Haibara was a cutie patootie. He’s also a sweet social butterfly. Another one of Nanami’s friends that just didn’t seem to be his type.
You caught yourself staring at the friend group as you’re sitting on a couch at a frat house. Your college team just won the game, so Satoru had invited a whole slew of people over. You somehow made it on that list. Your friend, Utahime, is begging you to leave, but something is telling you to stay.
“Go on without me, Uta. I’ll be fine, promise.” You say over the music as you flash her a small smile to assure her.
“I really, really, really don’t want to leave you here alone, yn. I don’t want you to end up on the front page of the news.”
“Don’t wish that shit upon me.” You laugh as you gently nudge her arm, urging her towards the door.
“I’m serious, yn. Please text me. If you’re not back in the dorm by midnight, I’m calling the cops.” She says as she grabs your shoulders, forcing you to face her directly.
You admire your friend’s caring demeanor, but she was being a total cock block for you right now.
“I will text you. I promise.” You assure her once again. “Go back to the dorm. Love you.”
She sighs deeply as she lets you go. She’s still not comfortable with the idea of leaving you here, but she can’t force you to leave. “Love you too. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Oh, that’s all I’m gonna do.” You smirk as she flips you off and leaves the frat house.
You take a drink from your red solo cup to gather your nerves. Nanami has been sitting in the corner of the kitchen all night. He’s alone, but he doesn’t look lonely. Sometimes, Satoru will drunkenly slouch his weight onto the blonde and slur something inaudible to him. From what you can see, Nanami just rolls his eyes and shrugs his friend off his shoulders.
You want to approach him, but you’re still too afraid he won’t talk to you. As you sit down your cup, an intoxicated Satoru is standing over you.
“I’m sorry- I don’t remember your name.” He gives you a slanted smile as he crouches down a bit so you two are face-to-face.
“That’s okay. I don’t remember yours either.” You snip back with a small grin. Something sparkles in his eyes as you give him a little bit of a challenge. He finds it to be endearing.
“Cheeky. Give me your number.” He demands, keeping his smirk on his face.
“Why should I give it to you?”
“Because it’s not for me.” He slurs as he leans in close to you. He nods his head towards the kitchen. “I’m doing this for my pussy friend over there.”
Your eyes dart towards Nanami. His eyes are glaring holes into Satoru with more anger and emotion than you’ve ever seen from him. Your stomach swirls with butterflies.
“That is a really good reason.” You murmur as you quickly type your number into Satoru’s phone.
*** *** ***
It had been days since the frat party and not a single word from Nanami. Your excitement had honestly fizzled out into sulking. Were you not good enough for him? Did Satoru lie? Was it all a sick prank?
Not even Utahime could get you in a good mood.
“Yn. This is so ridiculous. If you like him that much, just go up and talk to him.” She chides
“Noooo.” You groan into your pillow as you turn onto your stomach in your bed. “He’s too cool. Out of my league.”
“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Kento Nanami? The nerd who barely ever talks? The know-it-all in class?”
“Utahimeee.”
“You’re embarrassing yourself.”
“Let me wallow in my self pity.” You gripe before you hear your phone buzz. The sound of your phone notifying you doesn’t even excite you anymore. It’s always some lame ass notification.
Unknown Number: Is this yn?
Your eyes widen as you stare at your phone in disbelief. Your body involuntarily sits up in bed, startling Utahime.
“Jesus Christ. What? What happened?”
“He texted me!” You beam proudly. You are embarrassing. Utahime scoffs and walks away from you, unable to take the second-hand embarrassment.
Yn: Yeah, that’s me :)
Unknown Number: This is Kento Nanami. I’m sorry Gojo felt the need to disturb you at the party. 
Yn: No need! He didn’t disturb me too much.
Nanami: That’s good to hear.
God. Now, what do you say? Of course Nanami is a dry texter. You stare at the text conversation for a while, trying to think of something.. anything to break the ice.
Yn: Did you ask him to get my number, or did he do that on his own volition?
Nanami: Gojo does things on his own volition.
Yn: Ah.. I see.
He left you on read.
Goddammit.
You had your chance, and now, you blew it. Sighing, you lock your phone and try to forget he even ever texted you in the first place.
*** *** ***
I mean, who even needs Nanami? He’s really not even that handsome or mysterious. You keep telling yourself as you get ready to go to another party Gojo invited you too.
Oh, also, Gojo kept your number for himself as well. He mostly asked to copy your notes when Nanami refused to let him copy his notes. He would also send the occasional invitation to one of his signature parties.
This one was apparently labeled as “exclusive”. You had no idea what that meant, but you weren’t allowed to bring a plus-one this time.
Luckily for you, Utahime was visiting back home for the weekend, so she couldn’t scold you for going out to another party this weekend.
Black eyeliner was smeared across your waterline, and you puckered your lips as you carefully applied some sheer gloss. You decided to be casual with your outfit, wearing a basic off-shoulder black top with some jeans.
As soon as you got to the frat house, you quickly understood what “exclusive” meant. It was only their closest friends in the house. Satoru and Haibara were on the couch, lounging. Suguru and Shoko were sitting by the window, sharing a cigarette. Nanami was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, looking as stoic as ever. Immediately, you were grateful for going with a more casual look.
“Yn! So glad you made it!” Satoru grinned in a more sober voice than the last time you spoke with him.
“Am I imposing on something?” You ask as you close the door.
“Of course not, silly. I sent you an invite for a reason.” Satoru says casually as he pats the spot between him and Haibara on the couch. “Come have a seat. Get comfortable. We’re just hanging out tonight.”
You stare at the seat between Gojo and Haibara, and you decide to sit in the open chair next to them instead.
“Afraid that we might bite?” Gojo grins as he leans over the arm of the chair towards you.
“Stop it, Satoru. You’re going to scare her away.” Shoko scolds before taking a drag off her cigarette.
Your phone gently buzzes in your pocket as Satoru and Shoko begin to bicker about his social skills. You sneakily check your phone.
Nanami: You look pretty tonight.
OH. We are so back, baby.
Yn: Thank you :) You look as handsome as ever.
Nanami: Oh yeah?
It is so small and insignificant, but that little “oh yeah?” makes your stomach flutter with excitement.
“Yn?” You snap your attention up to Shoko and realize she has been trying to talk to you.
“Shit- sorry. What’s up?”
Your phone lightly buzzes again, and you quickly glance down to check.
Nanami: You’re blushing.
“I was asking what your major is.” Shoko smiles calmly as she’s sat upon the windowsill. She flicks her cigarette outside before blowing out a cloud of smoke. You try to ignore how your heart is skipping beats right now.
“Oh, I’m just in general studies right now. I’m kind of indecisive. What about you?”
“I’m pre-med right now.” Shoko answers.
“I thought you swapped to nursing.” Haibara asks as he shifts his body to face her. The two start conversing together, giving you a chance to check your phone.
Nanami: Are you ill, or do my words just affect you that much?
Yn: I’m actually ill.
Nanami: You’re also apparently a liar, sweetheart.
How the fuck was this man so bold over text, but wouldn’t speak to hardly anyone in person?
Yn: Sweetheart? I didn’t know we were on that sort of level yet.
Nanami: Does that make you uncomfortable?
Yn: No
Nanami: Good. Then don’t complain.
The throb your cunt just did should’ve been illegal. There was no reason for you to be so turned on by that, but you were.
Yn: What would you have done had I said that it did make me uncomfortable?
Nanami: I would’ve found you a nickname you were more comfortable with.
He was being sweet, and you were over there clenching around nothing like a whore.
You had been so caught up in your phone that you didn’t realize Yu had went and gotten everyone a beer out of the fridge. You decide to risk a glance at Nanami. He looked calm and composed. You wondered if he even knew the effect he had on you truly.
“Shoko, when are you finally going to get some bitches?” Satoru asks with a laugh. Your eyes widen as you notice Suguru is on his lap now. You had really been so distracted by your phone…
“At this rate, I think Nanami will beat me.” Shoko laughed as she took a drink of her beer. You shift slightly in your seat as Shoko cuts her eyes towards you with a small grin.
Nanami: I will
Yn: Will what?
Nanami: I will beat her.
Yn: Confident or competitive?
Nanami: Both.
Yn: You didn’t strike me as the type.
Nanami: You don’t think I can do it?
Yn: I never said that.
Nanami lays his phone on his lap, and you can feel his eyes trailing up and down your body. Feeling your heart skip a beat, you decide to look up at him. Your breath hitches in your throat as you glance over him. He looks relaxed. His head is propped up in his hand, and he’s almost giving you a lazy smile.
Knowing more about Nanami, you recognize it as a cocky smile now.
The rest of the “party” goes without a hitch. You decided it was time to leave once Suguru and Satoru were obnoxiously making out, Shoko was asleep on the floor, and Haibara wouldn’t shut the fuck up about the intricacies of anime.
“I’m gonna head back to my dorm now. Thanks for inviting me.” You say quickly as you stand from your seat.
“Hey yn-!” Satoru says as he tugs from Suguru’s lips. The dark-haired male made quick work of moving down to his neck. “Thanks for coming. You should come out here more often.”
“Oh um, I’ll think about it.” You smile politely as you head out the front door. The cold night air nips at your skin. The only light was from the moon high up in the sky. The dorms were a few blocks away.
You never like walking alone at night, but you try to remember that college campuses have security patrolling at all times. Taking a deep shaky breath, you step off the porch.
The sound of the door closing again immediately startles you. You quickly flinch and look towards the frat house. Nanami was calming walking up to you.
“Let me walk you back.” His voice was calm and steady, just like his presence. He really wasn’t phased at all by your subtle flirting earlier?
“Thanks.. I was actually kinda scared.” You mumble as you two walk side by side on the pavement. Your arms hug your body, trying to hide from the snippy air.
“Why didn’t you ask one of us to walk you home then?” Nanami asks as he slips his coat off from his shoulders. He then loosely drapes it over your shoulders. You feel your heart skip a beat as you mumble a quick thanks. Your body snuggled into his coat as it swallowed your frame whole. It was the first time you realized… Nanami is a big man. He’s not just some scrawny nerd. He’s actually pretty well built.
“I didn’t want to be a bother.” You answer quietly, noticing how Nanami shoves his hands into his pockets while you two walk.
“That’s foolish. We invited you. The least we could do is make sure you make it home safely.”
“We?”
Nanami goes silent, and he looks away from your shorter self. The wind blows harshly, making the leaves crinkle and hiss on the trees.
“Yes, we.” He finally answers your question. You smile softly as you look down towards the ground. It seems like Satoru wasn’t the only one who wanted you around.
Standing in front of your dorm door, you slowly slip the coat off from around your shoulders and try to hand it back to him. “I don’t want it.” He answers calmly, making no effort to take the jacket back from you.
“It’s yours, silly.”
“And?”
“Take it.” You gestured the coat to him once more
“No, I want you to have it.” He says as he towers over you. You subconsciously take a step back to create space, and your back hits the door. He leans over you, having to angle his back to see eye-to-eye with you. You can feel his warm breath ghosting over your cheek as he cocks his head towards your ear and neck. “Text me.” He murmurs lowly before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.
You were left against your door blushing madly as he casually sauntered away.
*** *** ***
You almost think you dreamt that kiss up come Monday morning. You hadn’t texted him all weekend, not even knowing what to say. You felt scared about messing things up and taking his advances the wrong way. He hadn’t reached out to you either.
You were sitting in Neurology, half-ass paying attention as the professor lectured about neuron pruning. Nanami sat a few rows over. He always appeared to he intently listening when you glance over at him. You perk up as you feel your phone buzz on your thigh.
Nanami: You’re not going to do well if you don’t pay attention.
Yn: I could say the same for you.
Nanami: Could you?
Yn: …. point taken
Nanami: You know, you could’ve at least texted me if you didn’t like the kiss.
Yn: Who said I didn’t?
Nanami: So, you disobey my request for fun?
Yn: Disobey is such a strong word. You told me to text you, and I just.. haven’t yet.
Nanami: We’ll come back to the disobedience topic. Why haven’t you texted me “yet”?
Yn: Nervous.
Nanami: You’re adorable. What’s there to be nervous about?
“Can anyone name an example of synaptic pruning?” The professor’s sudden loud voice catches you off guard. You hadn’t been paying attention at all, and you feel your heart start to race at the thought of being randomly called upon.
“Anyone?” The professor asks once again. “Yn-“ She almost says your first name before Nanami interrupts.
“Crown thinning.” He answers the question, saving you from total embarrassment.
“Very good. Thank you, Kento.” The professor praises as she turns back around to start lecturing from the powerpoint again.
Yn: You totally just saved me.
Nanami: Pay better attention.
Yn: Then stop texting me.
Nanami: No.
Nanami: Answer my question. Why were you nervous?
Yn: I just didn’t want to say the wrong things.
Nanami: You’re hopeless.
Yn: You’re starting to sound like Utahime :(
Nanami: Will you coo to me that you love me if I act like her?
You feel your heart start to race as you read his text over and over. He was way more observant than you gave him credit for. You couldn’t even think of a time where you told Uta that you loved her in front of him.
Yn: Is that what you want?
Nanami: That does sound nice. Though, I think I’d rather hear you breathlessly professing your love to me.
oh…
oh.
You sat your phone down. No way were you going to let some simple words over a screen let you get horny in class. You didn’t dare to glance in his direction as you suddenly decided to start paying attention and taking detailed notes on Neurology.
Nanami: You’re blushing again.
Damn him and his observant personality. Damn him and his filthy words that make you squeeze your thighs together to soothe the ache.
Yn: I’m well aware.
Nanami: It’s cute. Makes me want to say more things just to get a reaction out of you.
Yn: Please don’t
Nanami: Why? Scared you might like it?
Nanami: Scared you might like the thought of being beneath me, begging for more?
Jesus. There was no misinterpreting that. You tugged your bottom lip between your teeth as you stared down at your phone, rereading his message over and over. It painted a picture in your brain.
Yn: As if you could make me do that.
Nanami: I can, and I will. Come over tonight.
Yn: To the frat house?
Nanami: No, to my room. I’ll tell Haibara to not come back until late.
Yn: That seems rather rude.
Nanami: It’s far better than the treatment you’ll be receiving later.
Your head feels like it’s spinning as the professor dismisses class. The rest of the day drags by painfully slow as you feel every little heartbeat and flutter in your chest. Nanami talked big game for someone who seemed too shy to really speak to you. It made you feel intrigued. How could he be so confident in his ability to make you beg?
You took your time once you were back at your dorm: going through your everything-shower routine. You wanted to make sure that every inch of you was soft and smooth just in case! It’s not like he’s actually going to make you do anything.
Knocking on his door, you feel your stomach churn with anxiety. You two seemed to be doing better at keeping up a conversation, but you were still deathly afraid of that awkward silence sinking in.
The click of the lock gains your attention, and Nanami opens the door for you. “Come in.” He says flatly, moving out of the way of the door so you can squeeze past him. He’s wearing his usual button-up shirt with black slacks on. How does this man even relax?
Of course his room is completely clean. His bed was even made military style for crying out loud. What the fuck does this man know about making women beg?
“Your room is nice.” You compliment, trying not to sound too awkward.
“It’s a room.” He shrugs nonchalantly before his eyes travel your body.
“How did you tell Haibara not to come home?” You ask, and he gives you a slightly puzzled look.
“I told him the truth.” He says as he loosens his tie from around his neck.
You swallow harshly as you watch his slender fingers pull at the fabric. His jaw is perfectly sculpted along with his neck, and his adams apple bobs as he steps towards you.
“Which is?” You reluctantly ask.
“I told him not to come home unless he planned on watching me fuck a pretty girl to tears.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, and you stare up at him with almost a frightened gaze. His movement feels much more predatory now as if he’s been watching you for a while, sizing you up. He had observed and stood by, waiting for the prime opportunity to pounce.
“What is it? Cat got your tongue?” Nanami asks as he steps forward again. The back of your knees hits his bed, and his smile shifts to a lopsided grin.
“No. I just…” You had no idea what to even say to that! You weren’t use to a man so confidently bolstering about his skills without sounding like a total idiot. Nanami was a rarity. He could talk the talk and walk the walk.
“No. I just..” He mocks you. “You’re awfully nervous for someone I haven’t even touched yet.” His fingers gently caress over your collarbone, before he carefully nudged you back. You tipped over and found yourself sitting on his bed, looking up at him with big round eyes.
“Christ. Have you ever even done this before?” He asks as he leans over you. His hand press down on the mattress at both of your sides, effectively trapping you beneath him.
“Yes!” You exclaim with a huffy attitude that makes him chuckle. “Have you?” You ask, trying to even the score.
“No.” He responds before closing the distance between you two. His lips press against yours and move delicately. Your eyes widen before you realize what was going on, and you slowly melt into the kiss.
Lips smack together as he takes the lead on the kiss. His hands gently cup and caress their way down your body before resting upon your hips. His knee finds it’s way between your thighs, and he applies pressure to your core.
Stifling a small whine, you entangle your fingers through his blonde hair. It’s softer than you imagined it to be. His kisses are growing more and more demanding as he’s pushing you back onto the bed more and more.
He gently bites at your lip, and he applies more pressure with his knee. As soon as you let another another small whimper, he slips his tongue into your mouth.
He’s taking complete and utter advantage over your body while you’re still trying to wrap your head around the fact he said “no”. He’s claiming to have never done this before.
His thumbs dig into your hipbones before he makes you grind against his knee.
“That’s right. Use me.” He purrs lowly, encouraging for you to keep rolling your hips. Once you found a steady rhythm, rubbing yourself against his knee like a desperate slut, he releases your hips and grabs your wrists, pinning you down to the bed.
“Ken..” You gasp out lowly, and he immediately eats up your words, forcing his lips right back upon yours.
The grinding was slowly making you feel all dizzy in the head as you slowly start to mess up your rhythm. He immediately notices your messy state. His hands leave your wrists to grab back ahold of your thighs to make sure you don’t stop. If his slacks weren’t black, he was sure there would be a small damp spot on his leg from your delicious juices.
“Hah~” You gasp as you lean your head back.
“Does that feel good?” He questions lowly before carefully nipping at your neck.
“Yes… Yes, Kento.. more..”
“Oh, what was that, darling? I didn’t hear you.” He taunts as he bites his way down your neck.
“M-more!” You whimper out as you grow impatient.
“So greedy…” He murmurs before his sucks a small hickey on your neck all while he’s still making you grind your pitiful pussy against his thigh. “Beg.”
You feel that defiant nature wanting to kick in. You were needy for him, but you weren’t to the point of begging yet.
“Did you hear me? I said beg.” He demands as he forces you down on his leg harder. Your legs tremble around him as he’s making you rock hack and forth.
“Please-“ You finally choke out against your defiant nature. “I-I.. want more, please… I need you to.. to ruin me.”
“Ruin you, hm?” He asks as his hand carefully trails upwards to your neck. He applies just a bit of pressure. “A pretty girl like you asking for me to ruin her… How could I say no?”
He removes his leg from between your leg, and he quickly replaces it with his hand. His fingers rub firm circles around your clit through the cloth of your leggings. You immediately shudder from the new stimulation. You hold his gaze as he lightly chokes you.
“I think I want to see you come on my fingers first.” He says as he’s quick to shove your leggings and panties down. You gasp quietly as you look down at him. He shuffles himself down between your legs, and he has a determined look on his face. He was set on making you come with his hand.
You push your thighs together with a small whine as he gives your glistening cunt an amorous gaze. Nanami places his hands on both of your knees as he forces your legs back apart. “Now, you know why you came here. What are you running from?”
“I- … You’re looking at me like…” the words ‘like you want to eat me’ die upon your tongue. His aura is just so.. almost intimidating. Not in a scary way, just in a he’s-not-here-to-play way.
“You’re so pretty, but gods, you’re so confusing.” He shakes his head as he carefully drags his tongue up your slippery folds. “Just sit still and let me take care of you, darling.” He mumbles before he laps at your cunt again. He purses his lips and gently sucks on your clit. It almost feels like he’s making out with your pussy.
“Oh.. f-fuck..” You gasp as you lean your head back into his mattress. Your hands fist at the blanket beneath you, ruining his perfectly made bed.
Nanami continues to lick and suck. The sounds in the room were nothing short of erotic. The wet sounds of his lips and tongue smack and almost slurp at you. His hands hold your thighs up, practically wearing them as earmuffs as he eats you like a starved man.
His fingertip gently traced over your opening before he carefully slipped a finger in. He continued to lap at your cunt as his finger pumped in and out and prodded around.
“Oh my-! .. N-Nanami.. ah~” You pant out. In his eyes, your entire body was flushed. You were so subtly grinding yourself against his tongue. In his eyes, you were a goddess in touch with her sexuality and femininity. You just needed a small nudge to get there.
He adds a second finger, and he so carefully curls them upwards to gently press right on the spot that made you see stars.
Your hands abandoned the bed, and you grabbed onto his hair. His hazel eyes flutter up at you, and his glasses were pushed up onto his head.
Your orgasm was building quicker than it ever had before. “Nanami-! fuck, I’m gonna..” You try to warn, but he’s already a step ahead of you. His fingers start pumping a big more aggressively, and he’s pointed with his tongue, focusing all his attention on your clit. His tongue swirls in tight circles around the small bundle of nerves.
Your orgasm washes over you as you clench around his fingers, spasming on his face. He continues to thrust his fingers, letting you ride out your orgasm on his face and hand. Pressing a few more small kisses to your overly sensitive cunt, he slowly pulls away. “Good girl.” He praises lowly.
Your heart is pounding in your chest as you recover from the best orgasm you’ve ever received. Your eyes flutter open weakly to see Nanami ditch his glasses. He uses the back of his hand to wipe his mouth and chin dry.
He then places the fingers he so deliciously used to fuck you into his mouth, and he sucks them clean with a satisfied groan.
“You taste so sweet.” He mumbles as he slowly unbuttons his shirt. It falls to the floor as he starts to unbuckle his belt. You can already feel your arousal building up again as you see the absolute tent in his slacks. Of course the nerd was absolutely hung.
Without another word, his pants and boxers are on the ground. His dick stood hard at attention. It was too heavy to press all the way up towards his stomach. Speaking of stomach, he was absolutely fucking built. He had well-defined solid abs and a broad chest.
You watch carefully as he fists his length a few times. You admire the way the veins bulge from his hands and arms. He wastes no more time: climbing up on top of you. He guides your legs up onto his shoulders, and he leans forward, putting you in a mating press.
His hand suddenly covers your mouth. “Spit.” He orders bluntly.
“W-what-?”
“I didn’t stutter. Spit. Unless you want me to go in dry.”
The thought of that sounded like a nightmare, so you gathered as much saliva into your mouth as you could, and you spat into his hand.
He doesn’t look phased in the slightest as he lubes himself up with your spit. He lets out a soft breath as the wet sounds of him gliding his hand up and down his cock fill the room. He then wipes his hand off on the bed, and he covers your mouth tightly with his hand. “Try not to be too loud, darling. I don’t want anyone to come and bother us.”
He was so fucking confident that he was going to make you noisy. It almost pissed you off, but Nanami was a man of his word.
He aligned himself up with your entrance, and with one deep motion, he buried himself all the way to the hilt. You let out a silent scream into his hand, and your back arches up off the bed. His eyes darken as he lets out a guttural growl.
Your cunt was just too precious to him, squeezing him so perfectly. You were absolutely sopping wet and so goddamn warm. He actually had to bite his tongue to not come prematurely. Once he tasted the hint of metal in his mouth, the urge to finish subsided.
“Shhh, shh. Be a good girl. The pain will subside soon.” He assures you quietly as his hips gently rock back and forth shallowly.
“Mmmnnf~ K-kento!” You moan into his hand. He hates having to muffle your pretty noises, but he really can’t risk getting a noise complaint right now.
“That’s right, darling.. Take it..” His hips start to roll with a bit more conviction. His thrusts are slow but powerful. Each time he buried himself deep in you, you went all dizzy in the head.
“Oh fuck, you’re so pretty like this.” He praises as his other hand holds one of your thighs up for you. Your body is almost slack from how harsh his hips are snapping into you. His leaking tip was bruising your cervix with each brutal thrust.
Nanami wishes he could take a picture right now. Your eyes are all glossed over. Your face is flushed the prettiest shade of pink, and your lips are all puffy and slightly parted. Your babbling utter nonsense as your greedy pussy takes him in with each thrust.
“F-fuck..! So big.. can feel you right here~” You moan as you point towards your lower stomach.
Nanami looks to where you’re pointing, and as if this man needed anymore courage, he begins to fuck you harder.
Plap! Plap! Plap! Plap!
“Yeah? Y’feel me in your womb, darling?” He groans. Noise complaint can be damned. He lets your mouth go and grabs your hips as he continues to pound your pretty pussy.
Tears involuntarily spring into your eyes from the sheer intensity. When Nanami said he was going to fuck you to tears, you thought it was just a figure of speech. Nah, you were lying in his bed, crying because the dick was so good.
“Look at me.” He demands as he grabs your blushed cheek and forces you to look up at him. “This pussy’s mine from now on, understand me?”
“Y-yes!” You cry out to him. Your stomach starts to coil with white hot pleasure as your orgasm builds up again.
“Tell me you love me when you cum on my cock.” He demands lowly. You’re too fucked stupid to argue.
The bed squeaks and wails in agony as he his thrusts are growing more erratic and sloppy. You could feel him getting closer and closer to his release as he gets more vocal and noisier too.
Your eyes cross as you feel your body gyrate on him. Your second orgasm crashes over you so suddenly you didn’t even have time to warn him. Your soul nearly floats away from you as you feel warm juices flood out from you. “Fuck~.. I-.. I love you, Nanami!” You whimper out. In the heat of the moment, it does feel like love.
Such pure pretty words being uttered during such a lewd time. Nanami is instantly emptying himself into you. His dick throbs as he shoots ribbon after ribbon of cum inside of you. His hands are shaking as they hold onto your hips. “Ngh.. I love you, darling. Take it.. All of it. Don’t waste a drop.” He lowly growls.
The room is quiet as both of you pant softly. After a few moments, you realize you had professed a love to him that you weren’t even sure about. Yes, Nanami was attractive physically and mentally. Sure, he was apparently a god in bed, but love???
What if he wasn’t even being serious when he told you to say that? He probably didn’t even mean it when he said it back. What if you made things weird? Is that why he’s being so silent?
Nanami leans down and presses a small kiss to your forehead. “That was intense. Are you alright, darling?” He asks affectionately.
You nod weakly, not wanting to frustrate him with your insecure thinking style.
“Are you sure? I’m not only talking about physically.” He murmurs softly as he slowly allows for your thighs to slip down to around his hips. His hand carefully strokes your cheek.
“I told you I love you..” You murmur out quietly, avoiding his gaze.
He exhales softly in amusement. “You did do that. It was very sexy. Do you regret saying it?”
“I.. I don’t know.” You confess quietly. “You said it back too…”
“I did. Seeing your body in such a vulnerable state as you were trusting me with your very essence made me feel full with love.”
You look up at him as he just said the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard.
“I don’t think I regret it.”
“I’m glad. I don’t regret it either.” He smiles and presses another small kiss to your temple.
*** *** ***
“Was that really your first time?” You giggle as the hot water coats your body. Nanami’s fingers are attentively massaging shampoo into your scalp.
“It really was.” He laughs quietly. “Why is it so hard to believe.”
“You were too good for a virgin.”
“I’m glad my darling thinks so.” He smiles and carefully leans your head back, so the water can rinse the shampoo from your hair.
“Where did you even learn that stuff from?” You ask curiously, wondering if Nanami just had a secret raging porn addiction.
“I have the horniest friend group. They don’t understand the concept of too much information.”
Ah. That makes sense.
tags: @lemonlimecrystal-blog
#jjk#jjk fanfic#fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#jjk suggestive#jjk smut#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami smut#nanami kento#nanami x reader#smut drabble
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