#if half of them end up being fake / scams that's not my fault

[ghostzzy]

no one can say i'm not applying to jobs

[everydisneymovie]

Review #68: Summer Magic

Post #73

1/25/2021

Next up is 1963′s Summer Magic

Enjoyment : [3]

This movie is very boring. First off, all the characters are awful people, and no one faces any consequences for being awful. We are introduced to the family while they are trying to manipulate their maids into working for free, and immediately after they scam a guy into renting a house to them by faking an illness. When their scam is found out, the guy just laughs and forgives them, which is way less charming than the movie seems to think it is. They try to go for a ‘rich city folk have to rough it out in the country side’ but the characters go through almost no actual hardships to get you invested. Sure they TALK about how they have no money and how hard it is living here, but they still wear fancy dresses, go to fancy balls and hang out in a lavish mansion rent free. (ya know, because of that scam they pulled.) I could not get invested in anyone because they were just so mean and always got away with it. The opening scene is about how sad they are because they have to sell their piano, only for it to be revealed that they are selling the expensive piano, and buying a slightly less expensive piano with the money. That sets the whole tone right there, a very minor conflict, that gets dismissed effortlessly with no lasting consequences.

Quality : [3]

This movie is pretty average, with little to say in terms of camera work. The costumes and sets are decent for the most part, but it rarely rises above ‘passable’ at least to my eye. There are some structural issues with this movie, mostly stemming from poor writing and characterization. This movie also suddenly decides to be a musical a half hour in? The way it handles its music numbers are really sloppy, since it can’t decide if it wants to be diegetic or not. Some numbers are done entirely within the narrative played on instruments the characters physically have with them, while others have ghost orchestras playing for them and are seemingly dream sequences? None of the songs really land and the tone is way too grounded to achieve the dream-like quality of a true musical. 

Hold up : [2]

Wowie this movie is racist. Pretty much every character says a racial slur at some point in the movie. It starts off subtle, with the characters hinting about the ‘easterners’ and end just came fully out spewing asian slurs. Like this movie really pointedly hates asians even forcing in slurs where they make no sense. Two characters will be talking politely and suddenly turn to the camera and say something weirdly hateful. The rest of the movie isn’t great either. They same some weird stuff about women, and all the female relationships are oddly hostile. Like, the main character really brutally humiliates her cousin and then it brushed over like nothing happened. The hate coating this movie make the whole watching experience feels grimy.

Risk : [4]

How many times do I need to teach you this lesson old man? Rich people ALMOST becoming slightly less rich is NEVER interesting. This is a very safe movie, and it is utterly boring because of it. I can’t fault it too much for focusing on a low stakes story, low stakes can be fun in the right situations, but this ain’t it chief. Also, how come they never showed any character doing any farm labor? There is like a big cut where they go from uppity city folk, to hard working country folk but at no point is it earned. I think the Disney writers just really like writing stories upperclass white people STAYING upperclass and white.

Extra Credit : [2]

Some jokes made me laugh, and the opening song slaps for the 30 seconds it plays. There are also a few legitimately funny fourth wall breaks, like the Time? Rag! joke in the opening shot. Although I swear they don’t do anything as funny as their opening gag for the rest of the movie.

Final thoughts:

This movie isn’t the worst thing I have seen so far, but it REALLY isn’t anything worthwhile. The music is forgettable, the pacing is weird and the characters are all assholes. I really do feel that a lack of consequences stands out more in low stakes stories. People don’t have to die or suffer for a movie to work, but there has to be a driving force behind the narrative. This movie spits in the face of all conflict over and over again just to spite you for watching it. They have to sell their precious piano because they need money? No problem they bought a cheaper piano that is just as good and had a ton of money left over. They lied about their living situation to scam an old man out of a house? No problem the old man found their scam funny and gave them the house for free anyway. The old man is only the landlord and if the original owner comes back they might lose the house? No problem the original owner gives the house for free and is also a hot guy who wants to marry the protagonist and let her live in the lap of luxury for the rest of her life. When I saw the title, I thought that this was going to be something whimsical and fun, but all I got was a dull movie about rich con artists avoiding consequences and getting an unearned happy ending.

Total Score: 14/50 

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[gwoongi]

(abandoned) i don’t want it at all

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: sugar baby au, sugar-babies-scamming-the-same-daddy-au rating: mature themes words: 2.3k warnings: sugar babies a/n: i would have liked 2 finish this one and maybe i will one day but for now here is the incomplete first draft that makes me laugh still

His dorm for first year had been a prison-cell-box with a broken window and bunk beds, the stale smell of farts from his roommate who insisted on top-bunk and made his evenings and early mornings absolute hell- but hey, he’s getting a fancy degree at the end, so it’s worth it, right? Jeongguk’s not sure if it’s worth it anymore.

(1)

Jeongguk was broke.

It was his own fault - that’s the price you pay for enrolling in University, studying something he probably doesn’t actually need but loves. It’s all fine and dandy studying Music until he realises that famous musicians don’t become famous because they got a degree. Ask any musician how they made it big and they’ll reply with good luck and hard work, not some fancy degree that means nothing unless you’ve got the talent to be successful. Well shit, now it’s in perspective, Jeongguk’s spending all this money on a degree that’s probably not going to make a difference when the time comes.

Now he has a part-time job at a random pizza takeaway that makes no money because Dominoes opened up across the street a few weeks ago, and he’s barely making enough to buy him more than two packets of instant noodles at a time. His dorm for first year had been a prison-cell-box with a broken window and bunk beds, the stale smell of farts from his roommate who insisted on top-bunk and made his evenings and early mornings absolute hell- but hey, he’s getting a fancy degree at the end, so it’s worth it, right? Jeongguk’s not sure if it’s worth it anymore.

This evening, the library is fairly quiet. Across the stacks are small candles inside black lanterns, a Harry Potter-esque vibe filling the room as the clock rolls into ten. Jeongguk loves when the school year ends, because for the past week, it’s only been the sad and broke music kids doing exams, meaning the library is virtually empty now that everybody else has finished up. Jeongguk’s last exam was yesterday. Huffing out a sigh that turns one of the only other heads in the library in his direction, he stretches his arms up over his head and arches his head backwards.

“Where’re you going over summer?”

Yoongi is another sad and broke music student, a third-going-fourth year who met Jeongguk in the music society during Jeongguk’s first weekend at University. Leaning his chair back on two legs, he throws a paper ball into the air and catches it, not even looking at Jeongguk as he talks to him.

Jeongguk shrugs in reply, tapping his nails against his laptop. “Dunno. Home, I guess.”

“Any plans?” Yoongi asks. “Wanna go to Lollapalooza?”

“Can’t afford it,” Jeongguk sighs, as Yoongi forces out a, “me neither” in between a chortled laugh. “And I don’t know. Probably going to have to get another job.”

“Good,” replies Yoongi, yawning loudly. “You can’t keep working at that shithole. I’m your only friend, and even I go to Dominoes instead of where you work.” As an afterthought, he looks at Jeongguk with a small frown, “sorry.”

Shaking his head in reply, Jeongguk slumps in his chair and sighs once again. Yoongi’s just suddenly put it all into perspective for him; Yoongi’s his only friend, he works a job that barely puts a meal onto his plate, and it’s not going to get any easier. 

The ball in Yoongi’s hand begins to bounce again and Jeongguk glances over at the student librarian, who buries her head into the crook of her elbow and sleeps her way through her night-shift. It’s only Jeongguk, Yoongi and four others in the library right now; none of them are reading, none of them are doing anything particularly productive. Two students are tucked into an alcove pouring wine quite openly into small glasses with a board of chess unfolded out on the table, the others on computers, wishing the night away. Jeongguk just doesn’t want to go back to his dorm, to where his roommate and his loaded to the brim stomach of Chinese food and unhealthy diets is waiting for him.

“You planning on staying here all night again?” questions Yoongi. He probs his feet up onto the partitioner under the table, accidentally kicking Jeongguk’s ankle in the process. “Sorry,” he adds.

“Yep,” Jeongguk replies, popping the ‘p’. “I’d literally rather sleep on the boys changing room floors than go back to my dorm.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “That’s disgusting, don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m being deadass,” Jeongguk insists, his eyes blown wide. “Want to swap dorms for the night? Ten dollars and you’ll be dry heaving in the hallway before midnight.”

“I’ll pass. Either way, you know my apartment is always open for you,” Yoongi reminds him. “You’ve got a key. Come by once you’ve finished whatever it is you’re doing. My wifi’s out.”

Another sigh. Jeongguk’s not defeated his boredom yet, the twitch in his fingers to do something still there. If he goes to Yoongi’s apartment now, he’ll just annoy him with the need to do something energetic, and Jeongguk knows best that Yoongi values his quiet time on an evening.

“Okay. Well, I’ll stay here for a little bit, and come by when I’m done,” Jeongguk says, stifling a yawn that would otherwise expose the fact that he’s absolutely knackered. “I won’t make a sound.”

“You will, you always do, I just pretend not to notice because I love you.” Yoongi says I love you with a disgusted face, sticking his tongue out with a fake gag that Jeongguk knows just proves how much he cares. Yoongi’s good like that, the more subtle type of loving older brother that Jeongguk’s been deprived of all his life. “Don’t stay out too late.”

“Won’t.”

Yoongi picks himself up and irons the aches out of his shoulders. “Cool. Stay safe and smart, Guk.”

“I can’t do both,” he sighs sadly, and Yoongi collects his bag and affectionately throws the paper ball at Jeongguk’s head. It bounces off and lands near one of the bookshelves. Neither picks it up, and Yoongi leaves the library. It dawns on Jeongguk three minutes after Yoongi leaves him that he’s actually really fucking lonely. Add that to the big long list of things Jeongguk is this year: friendless, broke, sad and lonely. God, he needs a hobby.

He also needs money. Very badly. After opening his phone and banking app and realising that he’s so close to slipping into the red, Jeongguk refrains from spending what he has left on something fried and takeaway and opens Google. One click, a few types: How to make money fast. Google will know what to do.

Jeongguk scrolls. Take online surveys and get paid NOW! No. Review apps and earn money! Not enough phone memory to download an app to review it, he scrolls down. Lonely AND Horny? Get yourself a Sugar Daddy TODAY! Oh? He’s listening.

The blog that opens up as he clicks the link is somebody’s personal blog, the title in a gross and thick font that Jeongguk almost can’t read. They talk a while about why you shouldn’t become a sugar-baby, but Jeongguk remembers that one time Tana Mongeau did a storytime on how she had a Daddy and got a lot of money, and Jeongguk’s got assets. He’s smart, has abs on a good day, and his dick isn’t half bad looking. That’s what Yooa had said to him, anyway. Finally, there’s a hyperlink to Seeking Arrangements, and Jeongguk feels kind of overwhelmed.

At least once in their lives, everybody’s thought about being a Sugar Baby. Jeongguk definitely has, all the damn time when he’s sitting around at work doing nothing because they’re about as busy as one can expect for a pizza place with two stars and a rival Dominoes parallel from the front. He’s even read about experiences, where people meet their daddies or mommies on the streets or through apps- and there was even that one crazy story about somebody’s Principal becoming their sugar Daddy, or something, he can’t quite remember. Regardless, Jeongguk’s entertained this thought before.

He looks down at himself. If he really tried his best, he could be kind of good at it. Without sounding conceited, Jeongguk’s good looking. What lets him down at school is the fact that he always dresses lazily and ignores people, rejects requests to go out and then complains to Yoongi about not having friends who hang out with him. All he needs is to fix his appearance, upload his best photographs, and he could secure the bag quite easily.

Jeongguk fills in the boxes and makes an account. petkoo is what he decides to name himself, and he picks his best selfie off Instagram as an icon. He leans back, as if a look from far away will change the way it looks. It’ll do. Luckily for him, he’s into men and women, and it just so happens that American men are both the dumbest and easiest to please. Suddenly, he’s excited, his leg bouncing under the table until he hits his knee and stops. The student librarian raises her head quickly, afraid that a member of staff’s come in to supervise. They haven’t, and so she drops her head again. Ten fifty three, ish. Jeongguk blinks sleepily.

All that’s left to do is get his account verified, and life will be forever changed.

(He hopes).

(2)

Yoongi’s apartment is off campus, about fifteen minutes away if he’s walking. It’s small, but significantly bigger than Jeongguk’s dorm on campus, and decorated with whites and creams, big and open windows letting in golden light, when the time’s right. It’s the type of apartment you saw online, on Tumblr posts or in movies, looking like a perfect backdrop - sometimes, Jeongguk can’t believe that Yoongi lives here, and wakes up every morning to the view of the city below his window, power lines like train tracks connecting houses, dangling fairy-lights on the trelacing of his across-the-street-neighbour’s rooftop.

That being said, Jeongguk technically lives here, too. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s actually stepped foot in his dorm at the same time as his roommate; he only goes in there to collect things one at a time. Today, for example, he had dropped by to empty out his small and pathetic wardrobe and put it inside one suitcase, wheeling it right up to Yoongi’s front door with a bright smile that Yoongi couldn’t say no to. His couch in the living room was Jeongguk’s comfortable bed when it wasn’t cold and when it was, Yoongi would huff and offer an invite into his bed, because he loves Jeongguk like he’s his baby brother, and it would suck if he died from pneumonia, or something. He said that to Jeongguk once. Jeongguk smiled for ten minutes afterwards.

Harry Potter plays on TV, the fourth movie because it’s Jeongguk’s favourite and Yoongi’s a sick man who can’t say no. It’s around five, and Jeongguk’s literally been holed up in Yoongi’s apartment the entire day. The most sunlight that he got was when he walked out of Yoongi’s house to take the trash out, and even then, the bin was in the shadows and the sun never touched his skin once. He can see the sunlight through the window, which technically counts. Yoongi cringes and takes away a plate from the coffee table.

“You’re allowed to stay at my place, as long as you clean up after yourself,” he says with a huff. His nose upturns with a scrunch, “No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”

“By choice!” Jeongguk adds, pulling a thread out from his sock. “They’re too much hard work.”

“You’re just fucking lazy,” Yoongi points out. He dumps the plate in the sink and comes back to Jeongguk. “You know that, don’t you?”

There’s a silence. Then a sigh, “Yeah.”

Jeongguk loves staying at Yoongi’s place, especially when Yoongi is feeling particularly soft and lets Jeongguk do whatever he wants, given he’s not going to get Yoongi a noise complaint in the morning. The movie continues to play undisturbed, the sight of Beauxbatons’ carriage swooping over towards the runway leaving Jeongguk with an open-mouthed smile on his face and Yoongi folds his arms, burying himself further into the sofa. On the coffee table, Yoongi’s laid out some snacks, both his phone and Jeongguk’s laying down flat because it’s supposed to keep Jeongguk distraction free, even though he’s the type of friend to never be on his phone around his friends unless he absolutely needs to be.

Another huff is in Yoongi’s mouth, begging to be huffed out. Over on the coffee table, Jeongguk’s phone lights up with his lock screen of Sansa Stark blurred out by a notification, the ringer on loud. Attention is pulled from Dumbledore to the light, Jeongguk’s brows lifting with interest but his eyes immediately back on the TV.

“Yoongi,” he calls out, and Yoongi glances over, “can you see who it’s from?” Could be his Mom, it could be important.

The huff is released. “Come into my house and boss me around…” Yoongi mutters under his breath and reaches for Jeongguk’s phone, pressing the home button to read the notification. He’s silent for a long moment, and Jeongguk’s so enthralled in the movie that he doesn’t notice, not until Yoongi looks at Jeongguk with a confused and funny look, his top lip curled to his nostrils as he blurts: “Why the hell are Seeking Arrangements telling you you’re profile’s ready?”

Jeongguk looks away so fast from the television that Yoongi’s almost frightened. His eyes are wide and twinkling, “They’ve finished it?”

“What the fuck.”

“Gimme!” Jeongguk splutters, his hand diving towards his phone urgently. “Bro...it’s been like, five days.”

Yoongi is bewildered. “Why do you have an account? What-why-when…?”

“I don’t know, I need money and I thought it would be funny,” Jeongguk shrugs. His thumb moves quickly across his phone screen. “I can’t believe they’re done. I’m gonna be rich, Yoongi.”

“Do you know how sketchy half the people on that site are?” Yoongi questions. “Plus they’re all old and perverted men.”

“Rich men.”

“Rich, old and perverted,” Yoongi nods. “Guk, I know I said you needed another job...but this doesn’t qualify. I’d rather you flip paper thin pizzas.”

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

Gravity Falls S02E11 - Not What He Seems

These past few days have been a constant struggle between my desire of watching this episode and waiting a couple more days until I felt better because if it is what I hope it is (answers!) I wanted to be in top shape for it. But I'm finally here! And with that title, it _has_ to be about Stan, "Stan is not what he seems" was the first hidden message of the show after all. So, let's do this!

That's a really bright vending machine. How has no one in town noticed Stan's house lighting up the night?

I'm guessing that the laptop's counter is the same as this one.

The origin of the name "Gravity" Falls?

The intro sequence!

The picture with the twins is always in frame when Stan talks about the project, here and in previous episodes. I mentioned before that a theory I have is that Stan had a twin that screwed up everything (Dipper style) and he's trying to rescue him so it may be that the focus on the picture is to show _why_ he's doing this somewhat indirectly.

The other alternative is that he's doing it to somehow help the twins but I'm not sure how that would work. Unless whatever he's doing is going to help prevent Bill's prophesied disaster? Although, maybe _this_ is the disaster and everything is going to go to hell in 17 hours (with nine episodes to go? hmm)

Three keys and three protagonists? 100% going to happen at some point.

The shorter op song feels wrong even if probably means a good episode if they needed those extra 30 seconds.

Aww.

This is too wholesome to last.

Yeaaah, this is just making me believe more and more that something is going to go horribly wrong and it'll be Stan's fault somehow.

uuh, foreshadowing?

What could it be?

I know he's "not what he seems" but what could the kids find out that they'd freak out? I doubt they'd really care about the portal, in fact they'd love it. Maybe he's not actually "Stan"? The episode about Soos's dad and the resolution could work as foreshadowing in that case, since what really matters is who was there for the twins.

And he's dead.

"doomsday device" would actually be a pretty good reason for the kids to freak out.

Wouldn't the government be listening in? Wouldn't Stan definitely know this if that was the case? I can't decide if this is a trap for the government to lure them in or he trusts that no one is spying him.

...but they have parents.

Wow, the first fatality.

Overthinking rocks is better or worse than overthinking cartoons?

They are really making me lean into "he's not actually Stan" but if he's not Stan how does he know the twins' parents? His identity can't just be a "Stanford Pines" fake id, so he needs those ids for something else.

...WHAT

"Rookie cop" could be Blubs and "leg warmers" really situates this in the past. Maaaybe 30 years ago?

Okay... okay. Let me think about what we know so far.

So, "The Author" was the original "Stan". He built something with McGucket that he believed would help humanity (maybe related to Bill's prophecy?) but something went wrong and he vanished and McGucket erased his own memories. Our Stan assumed Stan's identity (including the Mystery Shack?) and tried for 30 years to (re)build something (the same machine?) to somehow bring Stan (his brother?) back making little progress until Dipper found the missing journal.

I think that's the timeline with a little speculation to fill in the missing details. My main question is... why would Grunkle Stan need to steal the original Stan's identity to the point of faking his death? The only thing I can think of is that the original Stan vanished in such a way that Grunkle Stan looked like he killed him so the only way to make it less suspicious for him was to (unsuccessfully?) make it look like an accident.

_And_ in all the fake ids he looked younger so maybe he already knew how to assume fake identities (maybe he was a spy? He _did_ spent a time in a Colombian prison...), assuming his brother's was just one more job. A 30-year long job.

Oh no, the twins are going to think (very naturally) that Stan stole the real Stan's identity as some sort of scam. I hope they remember the lesson from Soos's episode.

Stan being a retired super spy is looking more and more plausible.

Wow, Stan's a genius.

D'aw.

I just can't look at glitter in the same way since I found out people have lost eyes because of it.

They are nailing the music here, it really feels like the revelation it is, 21 episodes in the making.

C'mon Dipper, you already learned back in Dreamscaperers about how jumping to conclusions about Stan kinda doesn't work out.

Damn, that looks bad for Stan's credibility.

And bad for my theory about this being the same machine that The Author built and that made him disappear. Unless the universe did tear apart 30 years ago, swallowing him up but the machine stopped just in time to prevent "Total Global Destruction"?

All this time I assumed The Author had been the one to screw up but if he knew the machine couldn't be activated that'd mean that Our Stan was the one who did it (maybe he _was_ a criminal and he couldn't resist the knowledge that the machine promised?) And he has been trying to get him back not only because he's his brother but because he feels guilty about it. Guilty enough to risk the earth? He _has_ been saying that it's "all worth it" a whole lot...

I bet he was deceived by Bill.

That's a really solid joke.

AAAAAAH, THIS IS SO TENSE AND THE EPISODE IS ABOUT TO END

AAAAAAAA

This is both heartbreaking and heartwarming

But he _is_ their Grunkle. He assumed Stan's identity more than 15 years before they were born. This is killing me. And now Mabel's crying.

Oh. Oooh. So he wants The Author to take his "rightful" place again, so in a way he _is_ helping the twins regain a family member. But what was his plan for himself?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

THIRTY YEARS AND NOW HE'S BACK

THE MYSTERY IN THE MYSTERY SHACK

---

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Was "Stan Prime" trapped in a Mad Max dimension? How did Grunkle Stan avoid destroying the universe? Unless he did and now they are in another, identical, universe?

Wow. I don't have a lot to write that I didn't already during the liveblog but whooooo, he _was_ his brother. Now give me all the answers for everything else!

The episode was incredible. The countdown was a great plot device to maintain the tension all the way through. I'm not sure if the writers intended the viewers to actually distrust Stan but they definitely did their job to make Dipper's reaction to him completely believable. He's "the smart one" and all the factual clues point to Grunkle Stan being a criminal who stole Stan's identity. But Mabel is the one who can see beyond the "truth" and realizes that even if Stan is not the man he says he is, he _is_ her Grunkle Stan and she can trust him.

Since we have a little less than half the season left this definitely wasn't the thing that Bill was talking about. Are they going to have to prepare for that now? Maybe the portal let _other_ things through besides Stan?

AAAAAAAAAAA I can't wait for the next episode. Until next time!

PS: What should I watch after Gravity Falls?

[nightmare-circus]

Serica | Reaction 4/4 | Ode to…

When: Second motive, when their surroundings were not these ephemeral islands but a quiet village. In the midst of suffocating fear, after she had committed to holing up in her room, before he had come to stay with her.

Where: On their mirrors. Due to aforementioned self-isolation.

Who: One conspiracy theorist, one nurse. Just friends, for now.

What:

( > seriously though i dont want to find you dead )

> then don’t go looking

( > how could i not? )

Why:

IX. Yamamoto, Deacon

Was it her fault, for trying to make concrete plans for the future?

( “Deacon Yamamoto, I will do everything in my power to make sure you and I can leave here, that I will find you and bring you home and we’ll spend days just sitting on the couch watching terrible sitcoms, riding on the subway gossiping about tourists, walking through the park hand in hand…“ )

No, that was stupid. 

Serica may have been a woman who believed in more than the average person, trusted in platitudes and jinxes where others would scoff, but even in the midst of the unthinkable she was dimly aware this wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t his fault. It was…. someone else. Someone else’s fault.

A someone else who she needed to find. But, she found herself once again incapable of meaningfully investigating. Not this time for exaggerated pain and weakness, but of a pure inability to move forward both physically and psychologically.

She’s done this before. She had just forced herself to shallowly rationalize and pack away the deaths of Miles, Juniper, Tatsuya, Elise. One more couldn’t be bad. She was great at compartmentalization wasn’t she? She was able to laugh and have drinks hours after poisoning a man, she was able to pretend to be a victim when only half an hour before she had killed one Danny Ostergard with her two hands. If she approached this from a distance, with the veneer of a woman who had nothing to do with the dead man before her, with the objectivity of a woman who simply was trying to figure out what was going on… she could do this, right?

Let’s begin.

How does she even begin to explain Deacon Yamamoto?

(Ah… he’d probably like that reference, wouldn’t he?)

u/BoysBBUGS ||  u/aviary23

Head mod of Fanatical Ravings of the Disappeared, he(?) had a lot of theories that she didn’t necessarily subscribe to, but saw his contributions interesting to pick at. Ships passing through the night on the world wide web ocean.

IX. The Hermit || XI. Justice

A neighbor of a neighbor, though she hadn’t seen him around much. Does he keep to himself? Why the mask?

Cockroach & Serica

A riot of a man, able to make her laugh to hysterics at their first meeting. Supposedly 32 years old, supposedly unable to bath for fear of chemicals, supposedly with child with a man he had just met. Willing to have himself come off as incredibly unreasonable in public. Despite all this, clearly intelligent, clearly possessed a mind that had a voracious appetite for information and was wonderful to bounce theories on. An asset, despite it all.

( “I’m Serica by the way!” )

[…]

“They gave me the name Cockroach. Fucking COCKROACH Ser. What kinda joke is this shit?”

“I have a dumb fucking gift and Cockroach might as well be my real name since I doubt I’ll ever hear my original one ever again.”

Roach & Riccy

Slippery in every way, but not so unreasonable as he seemed. Logic was a great way to combat him, and any answer often had to be weaseled with either heavy theorizing (her specialty) or with a tango with some off the cuff roleplaying (decidedly not her specialty). She wouldn’t be so cocky to say that he changed his habits for her but… she thinks she had a hand in convincing him. He really wasn’t so bad, if you gave him a chance, and he’d surprised her more than once with acts of care and thoughtfulness.

Dee & ██

A friend for sure, and one who seemed to have a genuine loyalty. No qualms at seeing her drop a stun gun in front of him, no reservations when she admitted tentatively that she slept with a knife, no judgements when she casually brought up murder once more. Morals in the traditional sense didn’t seem to shackle him, which was very convenient to incorporating him into her tentative plans. 26, not 32. A New Yorker, as well though rather than any borough, his car was his home. Given his life he had become a stranger to hugs, to positive affection, but once he had a taste he was hungry for more. For all his mock lovers and public swooning, he was dense to actual subtle flirting.

( “My middle name. Aka, no risk of harming me if a faelien hears it. ██.” )

“I don’t have a middle name. I’d tell you if I did, swear. You can call me Dee though. It’s a part of my first name and you already know the first letter of it when I fucked up that one time. So Dee is a pretty good substitute then, yeah?”

Deacon & ███

Incredibly cute. A true newcomer to being hit on, to being told he’s handsome, to being kissed, to being in a relationship. A strong backbone even as she herself wavered in the days leading up to the decisive moment. Determined, stating possibilities as if they were facts and refusing to acknowledge her agonizing over the worst case scenario. Through everything, an unwavering support, a hand on her back, a shoulder to lean on. A good singer of lullabies, in her opinion.

( “███. My name is ███.” )

“Deacon.”

Deacon Yamamoto & ███ ██ █

Did not hold himself in the same concern he showed her. Makes a fuss in the public chat about the wrongs done to him but brushes off the severity when questioned by his own girlfriend. Still a liar, still a master of faking a smile. 

( “I won’t remember much but i’ll know your name, your, that you helped me so much in escaping that, that you mean the World to me–” she’s just babbling “I probably will believe myself if, if I actually try to find your information or maybe your drivers license– maybe if I put you in as a missing person or– But oh no will you believe me? What if I just show up at your car and you just think I’m a scam artist or–” )

“My license plate is HGO789. Deacon Yamamoto. I’ll believe you. I’ll always believe you.”

( “…█. My last name is… █.” )

███ ██ █

There once was a man upon whom was foisted a change. Upon his rise to a breathing dream, he was stripped of his taste and stripped of subsequent limits. Immune not only to the aches of poison but the salve of saccharin, the burn of capsaicin. To match with his steel stomach was his mercurial tongue, not gifted but cultivated carefully. Silvery and poisonous with every other word, it was at the command of a mind that paralleled in fluidity. It was as if he was a maestro, and his instrument of choice was a dictionary, phrases and scenarios slung with such rapidity that all who listened were on guard for constant whiplash.

So, it meant something when words became actions.

Anyone can say anything. He especially was able to say anything, a master class perjurer of the highest degree. The sun was about to peek through the sky at any moment, he was a Staten Island woman in an unhappy marriage trying to hook up her hair dresser with her son, he was fine, he was going to be okay, he was going to get out of here–

…

There is a difference, between telling someone that you will take consideration for the situation, and spending precious currency to fit yourself with a weapon.

There is a difference, between telling someone that you will help them, protect them, and taking the extra mile to pull down the mattress of a woman who’s waking hell of a gift would not let her climb up the steps otherwise.

There is a difference, between telling someone that you want them to live and helping them plan and execute the death of another person.

There is a difference, between telling someone that you want to live and…

…

(She was failing miserably in this task).

…

No one who looked at his body, at the stagnant ichor dripping out of his head, could understand the potential for warmth like she would. His fingers combing through her hair, pulling out loose tangles and tucking locks behind her ear so she could look at him unfettered. A grin, not sharp and pulled taught, but gently reassuring, murmuring soothing phrases to ease her anxious hands. Irises, bright not with the promise of information to unravel but with unbridled emotion that made his eyes crinkle, a devoted gaze meant for one.

One person, who stood here alone.

“And it’s not like I need it, yanno? I kinda wasted my life away before all of this. Not sure if I want it back.”

"I won’t die. Not yet at least. I have some things that need getting done." 

“I mean I’m not gonna let myself die after I break a leg like some racehorse. I wanna be useful, not a damn trigger happy martyr. ” He had snorted. “I’ll still make a valiant effort to get out of here Rics. But if it comes down to me and you? Well.” He had shrugged. “As a consolation prize I will say, you do make me wanna become someone worth living again.”

"I was impliiiied my dear, of course I’m making it out of here with you. What would the point be otherwise. I was trying to make it seem all badass and broody, adding a technicality to it all would’ve been underwhelming.”

“You’re going to be stuck with me until the end of times.”

“You’re getting out of- we’re getting out of here. You were wonderful.”

“Yes I know. I will. I’m going to get out. With you.”

“Of course, █. We can live a life worth living together out there.”

“It’s going to be alright █.”

“I love you █, please. Trust me, things are gonna be fine.”

“One day at a time.”

One day at a time, she had repeated.

One day at a time, she repeats, staring at his face, flesh frozen in the way that only a cadaver could. She’d never forget the first time she had touched a dead body, and was forced to confront the jarring dissonance, the coldness, the stiffness, the pallor of the skin that had been warm, soft, pliable, just hours before. Only a child, forced to confront the concept of lives ending for the first time. Since then she had seen more than her fair share, from work, from this place, before her very eyes.

Joints creak and echo through her body as she moves, finally. To fold her knees under herself, sit at his side, hand hovering indefinitely, torn between not having to face that final moment of confirmation and wanting to just hold him once more. Before she would have to be torn from him for hours, before they returned from a useless trial and his body would be gone, before she’d have to trudge to their caravan, who’s emptiness would threaten to collapse on her.

“There is nothing worse than not knowing.”

( “No, there’s nothing worse than not living.” )

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 rewatch S5: Red Queen

I liked this episode. Even though I wanted to see Clarke and spacekru when it aired, it’s a good episode. 

Fair warning. I always warn when I am anti someone. I am anti Kara Cooper. Honestly. That Biotch. I’ve got nothing redeemable for her except she’s fun to hate. If you’re a Kara Cooper fan be aware. 

This one’s kinda long. Under the cut. I’m having problems with the tags so if these don’t notify you can you tell me? Something weird is going on with the formatting and I don’t know what is with the weird type. Funkiness. If you want me to tag you for the rest of the episodes, send me a note. :)

@captainwilldameron @kizo2703 . @levivlio . @kickthatassgirl . @jeanie205 . @starboybellamy . @ezraewrites . @alightinadarkland  @emmyisgrey @irisouy @noodlesthehedgehog

46 days after praimfaya and Octavia and Miller are sparring and smiling. This always makes me feel like if things had been different in wonkru, if they hadn’t been unrepentant tribal warmongers, fighting each other, trying to take from the others, then Octavia could have healed and not become a monster. I mean she didn’t want to be the leader, but she didn’t have a choice. Indra wants to dress her up in the heda outfit though O doesn’t want to. She doesn’t look happy.

Oh hai Niylah. She found her Ovid to remind her of Bellamy reading to her. Wait. That means Niylah is literate. And Gaia. Gaia and Indra are fighting over the religious support. Indra says the real commanders would have let her burn.

Now they’re talking about killing people for stealing blankets. “What punishment does Oslea impose?” 

“For stealing blankets? Give them back.” Honestly Octavia’s best line in 5 seasons.

OH they hear someone outside pounding on the door. Kane and Abby are dressed to go out. They haven’t spoken in a month. Abby knows it’s Clarke. “It’s a night blood that knows where we are. Who else could it be?”

BUT THE DOOR WON’T OPEN. “If the building’s collapsed…”

“She’s not getting in.”

“We’re not getting out.” BOOM OUT.

Kara runs the hydroponic farm like she did on the Ark. WELL SHE”S CRAP AT IT. If Monty were there none of this would have happened. He got that shit up and running in like THREE DAYS. 

Jaha. Nice to see you Jaha. He looks better with the bald head. I like it.  There are no vulnerabilities to the bunker they can’t dig out. And Kara is like, “oh yeah we’re going to die. We can’t feed everyone and it’s your fault Octavia for forcing your own people into that fire. YOU HAD NO RIGHT. Jaha found it. It belonged to us.” Tribalism. Don’t think the arkers aren’t just as tribalistic as the grounders. Dumbasses all. Kara’s father died in the culling on the ark and her husband didn’t make the cut in the second culling.

Indra Kane and Abby are like we have to set guards and have delegates and too many people. Octavia is like, “I’m the leader” They’ll go to half rations. At dinner, Abby is sitting with Jackson and Miller. Kane sits with Jaha and Ethan, because Abby won’t talk to him.

“We didn’t even know if it was Clarke.”

“What matters is not what we know but what we believe.” Jaha is spilling spiritual/political knowledge and Kane is like, yeah that’s not science. Lol But he’s still glad he talked him out of fighting Octavia for this place.

Oh Kara tries to keep Jaha in the cafeteria.

Jackson and Miller are being sweet. And Abby likes that. As she’s taking more pills. She says the headaches will stop but they don’t.

Oh distraction. Someone has a seizure and distracts the guards while someone locks the door and knocks out Kane. “We’re taking back what’s ours.” OH it was Kara faking the seizure. She started out a bitch and she never got better. If you’re a Kara Cooper fan, you’re not going to find a friend in me.

Kara has the plans. “We’re gonna live. And though it might be unfair, they’re not.” And she restrains Kane and Abby “because I don’t kill my own people. Even the one’s responsible for the deaths of my father and husband.” (Oh RLLY Kara Cooper? We’re gonna watch you kill your co-conspirators with a sword in a few minutes. So much for not killing your own.)

“Abby had nothing to do with that.’

“Abby opened the door. I wonder if you would have done that if he was already safe inside.” Incompetent. Bitter. And Vengeful. 

Abby describes death by starvation to try and get Kara to open the door. “The first to die will be the lucky ones. They won’t have to fight the temptation to eat their friends.” Fine. Foreshadowing.

Jaha reading The Giving Tree. You know not everyone likes that story. Niylah does. Too late. Grounders attacking sky crew. Niylah hides with Ethan. Jaha fights. Octavia saves him. 

Octavia didn’t want to kill them to punish them. Miller’s not in the cafeteria either. Miller takes Ethan away from Jaha . “I wantto stay with youuu.” Jeez. Tearjerker.

Octavia wants Jaha to be an engineer again. Open the door. I like Octavia here. She’s doing good. She had hope to heal and become better, but…

Niylah says hell is breaking loose. Gaia says it’s not hell it’s who we are. Octavia believes she’s wrong, they’re Wonkru. But Gaia says without a commander they are warring clans, that’s how it’s always been. Gaia you’re not helping. 

Jaha though is the engineer and he does things. But he’s hurt. And ignores it. But he’s going to take the electricity and short out the lock. But he can’t get to level D because it’s no man’s land and they’ll kill him. So Jaha is going to get in in disguise. Octavia takes off the heda gear and says “on me they’re symbols not targets” and Gaia looks at her mom like I TOLD YOU SO. Octavia gets to be a hero. Like Murphy. She feels IMPORTANT as a hero. She’s not so good as a queen. She’s a knight, not a queen. Jaha won’t let her save the person being beaten. And she discovers he’s been stabbed. He’s going to sacrifice himself to open that door. Jaha ALSO likes being a hero, but he doesn’t mind being a king.

Even if you find a way to take the farm back, there’s still too many people in the bunker. Jaha says there always have been. WHY DIDN”T YOU ASSHOLES MAKE THE NUMBER SMALLER THEN?????

Abby and Kane are still chained up. No more half rations though. Jackson wants to fight back because Miller’s out there, she tells him no. “Imagine that. Wanting to save the person he loves.”

“You took away my choice.” But he says he made the right call because she was a doctor. “Really then why were you willing to float me on the ark?” Snarky.

Jaha is losing it.He’s going to give her wisdom. He’s sorry about how hard it was for her. Sure now that she’s valuable. “Like it or not, we are your people.”

He won’t connect the wires until Octavia promises to protect the sky people on the inside of the farm. When he has the word that she makes them stand down then he’ll open the door.

“I am not a leader.  I’m a fighter. A warrior.

“And a warrior needs a war and an enemy. On the ark we made death the enemy. That’s how we survived. And anyone who did anything to push us closer to death was eliminated. You hate me because I floated your m other but when she broke the law she pushed us closer to death. So she made herself the enemy.”

Octavia doesn’t like that. “So now you know what it takes to lead.” THAT IS NOT WHAT IT MEANS TO LEAD. Stupid Arkers.  Honestly, I know he’s generally well intentioned with his injustice, with the way he dismisses the unworthy, but I do not think that’s okay. Keeping order by oppressing those you deem inconsequential is NOT GOOD. It’s what caused the rebellion on the ark in the first place. 

Someone is playing guitar as people sleep on the floor of the cafeteria. Kane, and Abby in withdrawal. Kane says,“I couldn’t bear to lose you. I’d just gotten you back. The world was ending before our very eyes and I thought I could weather any storm as long as you were by my side but you weren’t by my side because you decided you didn’t deserve what we had, you didn’t deserve to survive. How could you ever think that I would be able to carry you outside and shut the door. I’m sorry but I’m not that strong I would do the same thing a thousand times. Did you ever regret opening the door to save me.”

She can’t even speak just shakes her head. 

Uh oh. Someone’s pounding on the door. Kara wants the dude to play louder and Jackson almost grabs Kara’s gun. Here’s Octavia. 

“I can open the door.”

“The do it skairipa so we can rid ourselves of your honorless people once and for all.” You know. Those damn grounders have been blaming the sky people for existing since s1. They can save the grounders from destruction, defend themselves, defeat the grounders mortal enemies, prove their heroism, stop a computer from takin over their very minds, but the grounders will STILL blame them. SoMETIMES I wish Clarke had just stolen the damn thing. Look what ended up happening because the grounders AND the dumb skaikru couldn’t stop with their MY PEOPLE crap.  I wish Clarke and Bellamy could just have scammed the bunker and told Niylah to find them some decent non combatants and they’d just snuck into the thing BUT NO they have to play by the stupid grounder rules which are actually BARBARIC. “Oh you think we’re savages.” YES ROAN YOU ARE SAVAGES. Trial by combat? DUMB. Children fighting to the death to become leaders? SAVAGES. Death for stealing blankets?? SAVAGES. They’re all dumb. Jasper was right. Gosh I hope Clarke and Bellamy can manage to good guys in season 6. Okay rant over. 

Go kick some savage butt Octavia. Savage vs savage. You wanted savage? Get ready to bow down to your savage queen. Honestly, the sky people can beat you at that, too. Our delinquents go hard.

She’s making it wonkru, not just tribes. She starts fighting. Someone comes at her. She kills. Kills him. And him. You are WONKRU or you are the enemy of wonkru. Choose. Kill kill kill kill.

You are wonkru or you are the enemy of wonkru. CHOOSE> kill kill kill kill. 

You are wonkru or you are the ENEMY OF WONKRU. Choose. Killl kill kill killl.

Heartbeat. You are wonkru. Or you are the enemy of wonkru. Choose…

They bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. All bow. Exeunt pursued by bear…. Or rather starvation, but you know. Jaha opens the door.

“Only the guilty.” Bye Kara. Oh no. She goes to shoot Kane, no she goes to shoot herself. But Octavia throws a knife into her gun hand. “It won’t be that easy.” (Hmmmm could that be foreshadowing of Octavia trying to get out of what she did by martyrdom?)

Now Jaha is dying. Abby goes to save him. Can’t. Remember the first time Abby had to save Jaha? Episode 1. Now his fight is over.  He asks Octavia to take care of Ethan. “Take me home Marcus. Take me to my wife. Take me to Wells.” DAMN YOU I”VE GOT TEARS. 

Travelers blessing. May we meet again. 

Octavia crying, covered in blood. In comes Indra and Gaia. “Your people await justice.” Gaia doesn’t want her to be cleaned up. She doesn’t think Octavia is the commander, but she delivered them from praimfaya and from starvations, and she will deliver them back to the ground.  (But who really does? I think it’s Bellamy. And delivered them to the ship. I’m still waiting for his mythic name to appear. We have Wanheda. Blodreina. What’s his?) The blood of our enemies IS her armor. 

The first gladiator battle. 

Jackson and Miller. “Nate I tried to stop it—“ “Shh. You’re a healer not a fighter. That’s why I love you.” So sweet.

Octavia commanding. Too many people in this bunker. “Each of you have committed crimes against wonkru and the punishment for this is death.” The boy is going to die for blankets after all. “This isn’t the ark and this isn’t the ground. There is no blood must have blood. In Rome the gladiators had the opportunity to fight for their freedom. So will you.

Who goes first? Kara. Farmer my ass. She kills everyone. Those are her people that she fought with, too.

Cut to a gladiator 6 years later. Kara is by Octavia’s side. Ethan is grown up. Gaia is blonde. Octavia is blodreina. 

But if they fight and win the battle, why does Octavia get to say they are saved or not? Drama.

Oh here’s Kane. The combatant. Indra not happy. 

[iamartemisday]

Triad- Loki/Jane/Bucky

25: Crush- Loki/Jane/Bucky

Jane is torn between two men. The solution to her problem is like nothing she could’ve expected.

“I see the letter T around you. Someone in your life with a T name.”

“Teresa! She’s one of my cousins. Are you with her mom right now?”

“Yes! Her mother is very present with us.”

“Oh my god.” Darcy elbowed Jane, breaking her away from her phone. “She’s so good. Didn’t I tell you getting a psychic reading was a good idea?”

“Oh yeah, Darcy. Great.” Jane sent out a text to Tony. ‘Get me out of here!’

“Now!” The ‘psychic’ said, pointing one distressingly long fingernail at Jane. “Onto your future!”

She was an older woman, not yet wrinkled, but that might’ve been all the makeup. Her lips were cherry red, her eyes lined with blues and purples. She wore a headscarf and a floor length robe. On her table was a crystal ball, tarot cards, and an assortment of pendulums. It was like she’d taken the most cartoonish aspects of TV psychics and pumped them full of steroids.

“Thank you, but I’m fine,” Jane said, as politely as she could. “I’m just here to-”

“You are here for Madame Emerald’s wisdom! Do not shy away from the future, Jane Foster!”

Did she have to talk like that? All in exclamation points? What purpose did it serve when anyone who wasn’t Darcy had to realize this was all for show. Before she could refuse, Madame Emerald grabbed her hand. She was shockingly strong for someone so frail looking.

“Yes… yes! Your future is clear to Madame Emerald! You will become famous around the world for your scientific innovations!”

Technically, Jane was already famous. Unless Madame Emerald here didn’t put stock in Nobel prizes.

“You will earn great prestige and… ah, yes. Love is in your future.”

“This is so exciting,” Darcy gushed, snatching Jane’s phone out of her lap and taking a picture. “Jane’s first psychic reading!”

“Give me that,” Jane grabbed the phone. There was a text from Tony. ‘LMAO’ was all it said. Some help he was…

“You will find true love, Jane Foster! In fact, you’ve already met the one who will have your heart… but what’s this? Two men in your future. Two you have feelings for. Two who will love you as you love them.”

Darcy’s eyes bugged out. “No way, dude. She knows you’re hot for Barnes and Loki.”

“She doesn’t know anything,” Jane ‘whispered’ back. She pulled her hand away and gathered her things. “Thank you for your time, Madame Opal-”

“Emerald.”

“Right, but we really should be going.”

She dragged Darcy up and out the door. Madame Emerald clasped her hands on the table, looking forward at the artificial fog in her crystal ball. “You shouldn’t doubt your fate, Jane Foster.”

“I don’t believe in fate.”

A serene smile. “You will.”

Strange as it was, Jane was not about to give this woman any more of her precious time. That was already thirty bucks she’d never see again.

“What’s with you?” Darcy grumbled as they walked back to the car. “Weren’t you having fun?”

“Darcy, that woman was a total fraud,” Jane said. “You can’t honestly tell me you believe that crap?”

“I don’t know, Jane. She figured you out pretty quick.”

“She didn’t say anything you can’t find on my Wikipedia page.”

“What about your crush?” Darcy needled. “She knew about that didn’t she?”

“The only thing people like her know is how to scam people.” Jane started the engine. “Now let’s go get some food. I’m starving.”

“Okay. No need to be defensive.”

“I’m not being defensive.”

They argued their points as the car pulled away from the curb and down a busy intersection. They never noticed Madame Emerald at the window, her eyes following them long after they’d disappeared from sight. She rubbed her fingers together, power swirling around her.

This was going to be fun.

**

Jane knew something was wrong the moment she woke up. Her cot was too soft; the hum of machinery omnipresent in her lab was absent; sunlight shined in her face from a window that shouldn’t be there.

And then someone moved.

She opened her eyes and a hand slapped her on the face. It came with a muscular arm attached to a shirtless man she could just make out through the gaps between his fingers. His blue eyes slowly opened, drowsy with sleep as he registered Jane’s presence. Her breath on his skin. They stared at each other.

Jane screamed.

Then Bucky screamed.

Then Loki appeared out a side door leading into a bathroom.

“Could both of you please lower your voices. I can’t hear myself think.”

He was also shirtless, his pants low slung which caught Jane’s eye far more quickly than it should’ve given the situation. She sprang out of bed, relieved to find herself in a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“What the fuck is this?” Bucky shouted, grabbing Loki by the shoulders. “What did you do?”

“Why do you assume I did anything? I’m just as confused as you.”

“Yeah, bullshit. I know it’s you. It’s always you. Where the hell are we?”

Loki clicked his tongue. His body turned transparent and Bucky stumbled through him. The double disappeared as the real(?) Loki appeared out another door. This one led into a hallway Jane had never seen before.

“A better question, my friends,” Loki said, “is when are we.”

“What are you talking about?” Jane demanded. The two men looked at her and she realized this was the first time she’d spoken since they woke up.

She couldn’t help her silence though. Not this time. Not when Madame Emerald’s fingers with their claw-like nails and many rings reached for her in her mind’s eye. Her final words rang in Jane’s ears.

‘You shouldn’t doubt your fate.’

Was this her fate?

Someone cleared their throat, giving them all pause. In the doorway was a boy, at least twelve years old. He was on the tall side, though clearly not done growing. A mop of dark brown hair covered his eyes. A new emotion sprung through Jane, one she never knew she had. The second she saw him, she knew several things instinctively. He needed a haircut, he needed to do his homework, and he needed to brush his teeth before leaving the house.

“Are you guys having sex?” he asked. “Because if you’re having sex with the door open, I’ll have no choice but to see a therapist.”

His voice cracked as a boy’s often does when he’s on the verge of puberty. Jane looked at Bucky. They were both thinking the same thing. This kid would be the spitting image of him once he’d grown up.

Loki smiled and nudged Bucky. “Well? Do you have nothing to say to your son?”

“My son,” Bucky repeated. He shook his head hard and rubbed his eyes. “Uh… yeah. My son. Morning, son!”

“Morning Dad…” the boy said, eyeing Bucky suspiciously.

Fortunately, Loki was in a merciful mood and saw fit to end the torment. “Jacob, why don’t you go get some breakfast? Your mother and father and I need to talk alone.”

“Fine, but I’m shutting the door. The walls are soundproof for a reason.”

As soon as he was gone, Loki was once more lifted off the floor with metal fingers around his neck.

“What the fuck is this?” Bucky seethed. “Who the fuck is that kid?”

“Bucky, stop it. That’s not helping anything,” Jane said, struggling to pry his hand off.

“Yes, it is! It’s making me feel better.”

Loki vanished from Bucky’s grasp and reappeared next to him, no worse for the wear. “As invigorating as your rage can be, James, we do need to discuss what is happening here.”

A couch appeared out of nowhere. Invisible hands gently pushed Jane and Bucky down. Loki sat leisurely with his long legs crossed and his head back. In any other circumstances, this relaxed posture combined with partial nudity would have Jane’s heart racing. Right now… well, it was his damn fault for being so sexy.

“Okay,” Jane said, hiding her face until it cooled down, “let’s think logically for a second. We all went to bed in different places last night, and we woke up here. I’m guessing Loki was up first.”

“Yes, I had the pleasure of meeting your son shortly before the two of you joined us,” Loki said. “Though I suppose I should say ‘our’ son since it appears we have entered a point in time where the three of us are in a full polyamorous relationship.”

“You know, I was with you guys for a second,” Bucky said, looking nauseous, “and then you had to spring that on me.”

Loki feigned offense. “I’m sorry, am I not attractive enough for you?”

“No, you’re too you for me. This has got to be a dream…”

Jane took Bucky’s hand. It felt warm and strong. She’d always loved his hands. “We can’t go freaking out right now. We have to figure out how this happened.”

“Jane is correct as always,” Loki winked at her. “Did either of you experience anything strange yesterday? Anything that might explain how we came to be in this predicament?”

“I was training with Steve all day and then we got pizza. That’s it.” Bucky grumbled.

“I was working in the lab after breakfast,” Jane said, “then Darcy and I went shopping, then we got lunch, then she wanted to go see this psychic woman and then we went home.”

“What is a psychic?” Loki asked.

Jane bit her lip. She’d half hoped he’d miss that part if she buried it in the middle of typical Midgardian monotony. The kind he always scoffed at because ‘blah blah blah royalty blah.’ “It’s nothing. Some people think they have the power to see the future, but they’re all fakes. They just want to make a quick buck.”

“Still, if this psychic of your has real magic,” Loki said thoughtfully.

“Darcy took a picture of her with my phone if…” Jane felt for his pockets, but of course, she didn’t have any.

“Never mind that,” Loki said, leaning over until he was level with her.

He looked deep into her eyes. Too deep. Like he was seeing beyond the brown irises into what lay beneath. Into her very soul. Jane felt the push of tiny hands against her skull. They slid through without issue, and while they didn’t dig so deep as to unlock her every hidden desire, she was under no illusions that they couldn’t.

Neither was Bucky, as the next thing Jane knew, she was in his arms and he was glaring at Loki. “What are you doing to her?”

“My apologies,” Loki said. “I was merely gathering information about this psychic.”

“You saw her?” Jane murmured. “In my head?”

“It’s one of my many abilities,” Loki explained, folding his arms. “And yes, I did. The woman you met yesterday was no Midgardian and she certainly is no mere fortune teller. She’s a sorceress. Her name is Amora, and I’ve had dealings with her in the past.”

“So this Amora woman is the one who did this?”

“More than likely,” said Loki, pacing around the room. “She loves to meddle, and unfortunately, it will take some time before I can break her spell and send us all home. At least a week.”

“And until then, we have to live here,” Bucky said, staring at the closed door. “With my son…”

Loki grinned like he’d just been handed a toy. “It does sound exciting, doesn’t it?”

They dressed slowly, finding their closet to be five times larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside. Jane selected a green blouse (there was a lot of green in here) and blue jeans. After a quick trip to the restroom, they filed out of the bedroom and followed the path to the kitchen.

Jacob was at the table with a bowl of cereal. “Morning. I see you’re all finished with your sexcapades.”

“Now, son, that is not an appropriate topic for discussion,” said Loki.

“Sure thing, Pop.”

Loki nudged Bucky. “Do you have nothing to say to your boy?”

“Knock it off,” Bucky hissed, “I’m still processing all this. Most guys have nine months to get ready for parenthood, you know.”

“Even so, I thought you’d be pleased to meet your progeny,” Loki said innocently. “Why if I was meeting my child for the first time, I’d know precisely how to behave.”

“Good moooooorniiiiing!”

A teenage girl skipped down the hall on the opposite end of the house. Her billowing black hair hung loosely over her shoulders, her green eyes filled with girlish glee. She hugged Loki tight, seeming to float more than walk.

“Ah-” Loki said. The look on his face made Jane wish she’d tried harder to find her phone.

At the table, Jacob rolled his eyes. “The princess graces us with her presence at last.”

The girl let go of Loki and marched across the kitchen. She leaned over Jacob as he calmly spooned cereal into his mouth. “Is that the last of the Cheerios?”

“No,” said Jacob, bringing the nearly empty bowl to his lips, “but it’s about to be.”

“I told you to leave the Cheerios for me, you little dweeb.”

“Yeah, must’ve missed that memo.” Jacob grabbed another box and placed it in front of her. “Don’t worry. I did save you the raisin bran. You look like you need it anyway.”

The purple box suddenly transformed into a snake, which slithered around Jacob’s arm up to his shoulder. He shrieked and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and changed back into a cereal box before hitting the floor.

“No fair!” He shouted at the girl. “You know the rules. No magic at breakfast.”

“Oh sorry, must’ve missed the memo.” She grabbed an energy bar out of the pantry and walked back to her dumbstruck parents. “I need to stay late after school today to help Morgan get ready for the bake sale. Is that okay?”

Jane blinked a few times. The girl’s face reminded her of her high school yearbook photo, but infinitely prettier. She reached for a name, coming up with the one she’d picked long ago for any daughter she might have. “Yeah, that’s fine… Christina?”

The girl stared at her for a moment. No reaction beyond that except to hug her. “I’ll see you later, Mom.” She let go, then kissed Bucky and Loki on the cheek. “Bye Papa. Bye Daddy. See you guys tonight!”

She rushed outside and seconds later, Jane heard a car engine start. Jacob finished his breakfast and left the bowl in the sink, giving them one last odd look and muttering to himself about how weird adults were. Now alone in this house that was and wasn’t theirs, the three of them could only look at each other. Bucky didn’t even have it in him to return Loki’s taunting.

“This is going to be really hard,” Jane said.

And to that, neither Loki nor Bucky could object.

[randompandagirl]

So I just reread my Nano from last year (for the first time) that I thought was a piece of garbage... and it was much better than I thought it was. It’s not amazing, but it definitely made me laugh at bits (I think I’m hilarious, honestly). Anyway, I actually want to write more in it for fun. I also decided I am going to post it on here because I feel like it. So below is Chapter One. Even if it gets no comments I will probably post the other three chapter later.

This story is about a school for Time Travelers.

Elsewhere Chapter One “And afraid of a disaster, Miss Clavel ran faster and faster.” - Madeline, Ludwig Bemelmans  

                                                         Kinsley’s POV

“And you have absolutely no say?” Yesenia asked, giving me the side eye as she popped another cherry into her mouth.

  I shook my head. “No say whatsoever. I tried begging, I tried bargaining, I tried threatening. Nothing.” 

 “Well that's stupid. It's not like you're moving, or some delinquent! Why in the world does your mom think it's a good idea to send you to a boarding school for senior year? And besides, aren't boarding schools for like, super rich people?” Yesenia was about to grab another cherry but I quickly put the lid on the container and moved them away. I sighed as I did so and shook my head. 

  “Apparently I am getting a scholarship or something.” Which honestly made no sense to me, nothing did about this situation, but this least of all. I was a slightly below average student and I was held back in seventh grade, so I was also older than everyone else (except Keegan, but then, even some of the teachers were younger than him). If that doesn't scream not scholarship material I don't know what does. Also, I don't remember applying for anything. I would have remembered applying for a fancy school in New Zealand. 

   Yesenia, now that the food was out of her reach, stood, leaving me to sit alone on the park bench. “So you're really leaving tomorrow.” 

  I nodded up at her, lifting my hand to block out the sun.

   “That's just great.  Now I'll have to sit with Becky for lunch.” She sighed and then shrugged. “I guess I'll see you when I see you.”

    I just nodded again and then watched her as she left. Yesenia had been the last person on my list of people to say goodbye to before I left. It went just as I thought it would. We weren't that close, but I knew she would be mad if I didn't at least try to make an effort. Not that I would be here to see, but I know for a fact she would have been subtweeting me for weeks.

  I sighed opening up the cherries and tossing one in my mouth.  I knew I should probably be heading home, but who knows when the next time I would be in North Carolina was?  I wanted to enjoy the sights and sounds one last time.

   I closed my eyes and leaned my head back  and just soaked up the sun, letting my mind race.

   When my mother had told me three weeks ago that I would be attending Sudbrink Academy in New Zealand for my senior year I thought she had finally lost it.  I thought for sure it was a scam, so I googled it. I called the school and talked to real people. It was not a scam, everything they said seemed legit. 

 Even so I was skeptical. I was still skeptical. I would probably stay that way until started classes. Who knows, maybe even still.

   A buzzing feeling on my leg alerted me to the fact my mother was calling. She always called. Never texted. Which meant I always had to have my phone at least on vibrate.

   I sat up, opening my eyes, and answered her call. “Yes?”

   “You're still meeting me and Dan for dinner, right?” Her voice sounded frantic. It always sounded frantic. She always seemed to be worried about something or anxious about another. 

  “Yes. I told you, five thirty.” I quickly checked the time on my phone. “It's five. I've got time.”

    “Okay, okay! I just wanted to make sure you remembered. I will see you there!” She hung up before I could reply.

    I knew I should probably go home and make myself presentable before going out to dinner with my mother and her boyfriend, but I didn't really have much left that wasn't already packed away. So instead I just sat on the park bench just a little while longer and watched as a couple of kindergartners chased each other across the playground.

   As I watched I began to feel myself zoning out. Everything started to feel foggy and my vision became cloudy. I could no longer hear the shouts of the little girls. My stomach clenched as I realized what was happening. I forced myself to drop my head into my lap and covered my ears with my hands.

    “You're here, you're fine. You're here, you're fine.” I muttered to myself until I once again heard the little childish screams. I lifted my head and everything was back to normal. I had to get out of here. I threw the cherries into my backpack and slipped it on. As I headed for my bike chained up against a near by tree I counted. I counted how many episodes I had had in the past month. Seven. This was my seventh episode.

   I wasn't quite sure what was happening but it made me feel sick to my stomach. It felt like I was was being erased. It was the only way I could describe it, and did, to my therapist.  She had tried to help, I know she had, but nothing changed; it was still happening.

   My thoughts kept moving as I started to bike to the restaurant. Truthfully, and this was not something I had told anyone, but I was actually happy to be leaving. The circumstances that were making it happen made no sense, but I had lied to Yesenia when I said I had tried everything

.   When my mother told me, I, of course, at first was outraged, but the more I thought of it, the more I wanted it. To leave.  I hated my school, I really didn't have a best friend, or even a close friend. My boyfriend and I had broken up a bit before the school news (good riddance) and my mother was... well... my mother. 

  It wasn't her fault. She had a problem, and I know she is taking her meds, and trying her best, but at the end of the day, I just feel like we're two people living in the same apartment  for convenience only. I know that is a horrible way to view a parent, and there are some days where she is a mother. But most days we barely see each other.

   Me leaving would be best for both of us. She would be able to focus on Dan and her job, and I wouldn't have to feel guilty for feeling like she was my child more than my mother.

Dinner went just as well as expected. I was waited almost a half an hour for my mother and Dan to arrive at the restaurant and then had to endure Dan's quips such as, “Are you sure your Denise's daughter? Maybe you were switched at birth! Like that tv show!”

   Dan was a nice guy and good to my mom; he could just be terribly stupid at times.  The truth is, Dan wasn't the only one to have made those 'jokes' though. That's what happens when your mom is blonde and blue-eyed and your father was a random Japanese exchange student that your mother can't remember the name of.  You end up looking nothing like your only blood relative that you know. With my black hair and hazel eyes, the only part of us that look even slightly familiar is our noses: long and narrow.

   So the comments were a common occurrence, though Dan had been with my mother for about a year now, so now they were just annoying.

   After dinner was done my mother and I went home where we sat on the couch and watched Singing in the Rain. Well, my mother slept and I watched as I painted my nails. I glanced at her every once in a while and couldn't help the sense of relief that rushed through me whenever I thought about tomorrow.  I glanced one more time at my mother, quietly snoring with her mouth open, and leaned over to place a blanket over her.

     Tomorrow I would hop on a plane and would be gone for almost a year. Nothing to worry about but my school work. No teachers that already hated me. No fake friends to keep up with. No ex-boyfriend to avoid. I could completely start over. Be someone totally different. 

~~  I had never been on a plane before. In fact I have never been out of North Carolina before so my eyes were everywhere every step of the way. The flight had been paid for by the school, which I was pretty sure was not protocol, but neither my mother nor I questioned it because $2,000 for a plane ticket was two thousand dollars out of our price range. It was a nice flight, but was ridiculously long and by the time we landed I was very discombobulated.

   When I stepped off of the plane, after going through customs, I was surprised to see someone standing there waiting for me. I knew they were waiting for me by the sign that held my name in big block letters: Kinsley Bennett.

   “I'm Kinsley Bennett.” I said, walking closer to the woman that stood there, my feet feeling like lead with each step. She smiled warmly at me.

   “Kinsley, I'm Ursula! I am one of the caretakers of the grounds at Sudbrink Academy! Come with me, and we will gather your belongings and be on our way!”

  I wasn't sure what time it was, but I knew everything she said was way to bright for me. I yawned discreetly trying to hide it behind a hand and followed her through the airport to the baggage claim where thankfully all my luggage was. I had heard stories about baggage being lost or damaged and had worried about that the last hour of the flight.

   All the while Ursula talked, but I was so tired that nothing she said registered with me whatsoever. I remember thinking vaguely how dangerous it was that I was not fully aware of my surroundings, but not for long. Once we got into her car she insisted I sleep for it was a bit of a drive to the Academy and I promptly obeyed.

When I woke up I was no longer in the car. That was the very first thing I noticed because my body was outstretched and everything was still. My eyes flew open and I sat up fast

.   “Your awake!” 

   The voice was accented, British, and young sounding and not at all familiar. My head jerked to where the voice came from and I saw a teenage girl sitting on a bed across the room. I looked down and saw that I was in a bed as well.   

“What the hell.” I stated. “How did I get in here?”

    The girl smiled brightly, and two dimples appeared on either side of her cheeks and her blonde ponytail swung as she stood to her feet.

    “Ursula brought you in! She tried to wake you up but she said you were sleeping like the dead, so she carried you in! I helped bring in your luggage. I didn't open anything, I swear!”

    I didn't answer her I just peeled the blanket off of my body my face scrunched up in a scowl. How did Ursula carry me in? What kind of person carries a sleeping nineteen year old. 

   “I'm Tilly by the way! Short for Matilda.” The girl said standing in front of me now with her hand outstretched.

   I looked at her hand and then up and her little cherub face and then shook her hand reluctantly.

   “Kinsley.” I stood and immediately went for my things. “How long did I sleep. What time is it?”

   Tilly titled her head to side as she thought. “Well I think it's been about four hours since Ursula dropped you off. I just came back from dinner. I'm your roommate by the way, if you didn't guess that by now!”

    I found what I was looking for, my hair brush, and sat back on the edge of my bed. “Great, I am going to have some major jet lag.” I sighed and then looked at Tilly again. “I'm sorry, but I'm still a little weirded out about the whole someone carried me in here thing.”

    Tilly laughed. “Well, that's Ursula for you! She treats us all like her children. She is such a sweetheart!”

    I made a non-commital grunt as I hit a snag in my hair. “Sure.'” 

   “Well, I can show you the dinning hall if you're hungry!” Everything this girl said was bright and cheery. I was not sure how I was gonna last with her as my room mate for a year.  She was the kind of person I usually avoided. I didn't have the stomach for twenty-four seven optimism. Here was hoping we weren't in any of the same classes.

   I pulled the hair brush through my hair in one last stroke and then dropped it to my bed and stood. “Do we have curfew?” I asked. 

   “Ten o'clock!”

   “Right, okay. Uh, thanks for offering, but I'm gonna just... go by myself.”  

  Tilly's smile faltered just for a moment, but then was back. “Okay!  The dinning room is on the floor level. All the dorm rooms are on the top two levels. The classrooms are in between. We are in the east wing, room 23!”

    “Thanks.” I looked around for my purse, which I found on the dresser that stood next to my bed and grabbed my phone.

    Without another word I left the room and started wandering around for an elevator.  This place was huge, I soon realized. I mean, I had seen the pictures on it's website, but I was guess I thought it was deceiving. After going down hallway after hallway of rooms I finally found an elevator. I pushed the down button and waited.

   When the doors opened one other person was inside. It was the first person I had seen since Tilly. I had heard some people behind doors, but not a single person had been in the halls. It was strange.

   I stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for ground level and then eased myself onto the elevator wall. I glanced at the other person with me. It was a young man, probably roughly my age, who looked maybe Mexican? He had wild curly hair that came to rest just above his shoulder and the longest eyelashes I had ever seen on a guy. I only noticed them because his eyes were closed.

   He had earbuds in and must have been listening to music. I don't think he even noticed me get on.  I looked back at the panel of buttons and saw that we were on the eighth floor out of ten. That was ridiculous. I swore under my breath. 

  “You're new here, aren't you.” The voice definitely held a Spanish accent.

   I rolled my eyes. “How can you tell?” 

  “You're leaning against the freshly painted wall.”

  “What!” I cried jumping off of the wall, throwing a look over my shoulder. Sure enough there was yellow paint on my shirt. I groaned. 

   “That's great.” I muttered. “Who paints a wall and doesn't put up a sign?”  

  The boy shrugged, a small smile on his face, and puts his ear buds back in. 

    I frowned and  looked to see what floor we were on. Two. I sighed; I wanted to change my shirt, but I was also hungry. My stomach rumbled at the thought of food. Dinning hall it was. The doors opened and I stepped out, the boy following me. Thankfully he headed in the opposite direction. 

   I wondered briefly how many people he was going to tell that the new girl just branded herself as much with a coat of paint. I sighed and kept walking down the hall I had chosen. Thankfully the Dinning hall was not far and still open. 

   I checked my phone. It was six and a couple of kids were still eating. The dining hall was not like any cafeteria I had been in. It actually gave me Harry Potter feels as I surveyed the area. There were long tables in rows, but instead of a head table, it was a food bar with what looked to be the kitchen peaking through a hole in the wall. 

  Dinner was uneventful. No one came up to me and I approached no one. I wandered around the ground level a bit, finding the main entrance and a library before I backtracked to the elevator and returned to my room. 

  Tilly was still there and was sitting at her desk (there were side by side desks facing out the windows, I assumed the other desk was mine) using a sewing machine.  After I changed into some pjs (I doubted that I would be going out again) I sat down on bed once again and watched her. I suppose I should know some things about her so that I could be prepared. 

   “So, Tilly.” I started.

    She lifted her head from her sewing machine and stopped, turning in her chair to smile at me. “Kinsley! You found your way back!”  

  “Yeah. So, how long have you been going to school here?” 

   She hesitated and then answered slowly, “Well... I've been here since I was ten. I actually live here.” 

   My eyebrows rose in question. “You live here? What, do your parents teach here or something?”

    She looked down at her hands that were  gripping the back of her wooden chair. “Ah, no, actually. My parents passed away when I was young. The board thought this would be the safest place for me.” 

   Now I was really confused. “What?”

   Her eyes lifted to mine and realization seemed to pass over her face. “Oh, right. You're new. Completely new. Don't worry, tomorrow at Assembly everything will make more sense.”

    I sure hoped she was right because at that moment I was confused as hell.  Assembly was at eight thirty in the morning, which normally would be fine, but I was messed up with the time difference. I missed breakfast, but I had some gushers in my purse that I quickly consumed. Unlike the night before I didn't want to wander my way to Assembly and miss being late so I went with Tilly whose pony tail was definitely hair sprayed and barely moved.

   We found seats in the back which surprised me because Tilly seemed more like a front row Teacher's Pet kind of girl.  However, I did not complain as I slid into my seat and looked around.

   The room was actually an auditorium, it looked like it could seat at least five hundred people, though there was definitely not that many people. There was stage where two tables sat with eight people sitting behind them. One person was at the microphone. It was a large, tall man wearing a very sharp suit. In fact, everyone sitting at the tables seemed to be dressed really well.

   I looked down at my clothing, which was a pair of skinny jeans and a white and black striped shirt. I wasn't slumming it, but I also wasn't tea with the Queen. I shot a glance around the auditorium just to check out everyone else, but they all seemed to be dressed pretty normal was well.

   “Hello, and welcome everyone to Sudbrink Academy!” The man at the microphone's voice boomed throughout the auditorium. Everyone's head swiveled to the stage and a hush fell over the room.

   “Most of you are returns, but we do have a few new students joining us. Six to be exact, and I just want to personally welcome you. I am the Head of Council, Dr. Jansen.  After Assembly all six of you will join me in my office, for a more in depth briefing.” 

  Tilly grabbed my arm and gave it a squeeze, giving me an excited smile. I forced a smile back as I yanked my arm back, frowning as soon as she looked away.

    “For everyone else, we are glad you decided to come back and learn another year with us. It is important to always learn and perfect your craft and here at Sudbrink you are learning from the best. As usual protocol, all traveling must be approved by a member of the board only, no exceptions. We do not want any trouble. Now, I would like our newest students to join me in my office, while everyone else, please give your full attention to Professor Lin.”

   I hesitated for a moment. I was not really in the mood to stand and draw attention to myself, but I had a feeling if I didn't get up, Tilly would do something, so I eventually stood and followed two other kids that were leaving the auditorium.

   None of us said anything as we followed Dr. Jansen to his office. As we were walking  I counted in my head and only came up with five of us. I wondered where the other student was, though the thought quickly passed when Dr. Jansen called me to his office first.

   “Kinsley Bennett.”  It must have been alphabetical.

   Once we were seated in his office he began. “I am so glad you could join us Kinsley.”

   “Thanks for having me... I just have a few questions-” I started, but he held up a hand to stop me. I shut my mouth, irritated, but I wasn't about to make a fuss. I was here on scholarship; I could be shipped home at any moment. And no matter how weird this was, I just got here and I did not want to leave just yet.  

 “I'm sure you have lots of questions, Miss Bennett, and I am hoping I can answer them. I am going to just go ahead and tell you why you are here. A couple of years ago we took notice of  you. We could sense a Traveling, but it was never constant so it took us a while to find you, but when we did we knew you had to be here. Had to be trained.

  Miss Bennett, you are what we call, a Traveler.” He took a pause here as if he was waiting for a reaction. I felt void of all emotion. What the hell was he talking about? I was really stuck on the whole, they had been watching me a while thing. 

   “What?” I finally said, because it did not seem like he was going to go on until I expressed interest in what he was saying.

    “You are a Traveler. You Travel.” Again he paused. I think he was getting some weird sense of joy from my utter lack of understanding.

   “Um, no, I stay at home and watch tv. This is the first time I've even been out of my hometown.”

    He laughed then and I narrowed my eyes. “No, no, my dear girl. Travel as in, time. And space. And parallels.”

     I knew it. I knew this whole scholarship thing was a scam. This was some kind of cult, or a big kidnapping scheme. I stood up, ready to flee.

    Dr. Jansen did not really seem all that fazed. “Miss Bennett, do please sit. I understand you may be experiencing confusion, but let me explain further. “  

  Again he waited for me. He was not going to speak until I sat, and I small part of me wanted to know how he was going to explain away all the bat shit crazy he just spewed. So I sat.

    “Miss Bennett, have you ever been somewhere, maybe alone, maybe with a group of people, and then all of a sudden you are not where you once were? Have you ever been in one place, and then it seemed to fade away and then you were in another? Have you ever felt like, you were being erased from right now?”

    My mouth became dry as he spoke. It was like he had sat in on my therapy sessions. My therapist was the only person I had every told any of that to. So unless he had some how gotten a hold of her and tortured confidential information out of her then...  Then what, I wasn't sure. But it was something. It had to mean something.

    “I have never traveled through time, or space or whatever.” I finally said,  and just saying that out loud made me feel like an idiot.

    “No, you are right about that, but that is only because you don't know how. It's in your blood, your body knows what it was meant to do, but your mind has been hesitant. Here at Sudbrink Academy we will teach you all you need to know about Traveling.”

    He seemed to earnest and sincere, but like, weren't cult leaders like that? And Tilly...  

  “So... everyone here can time travel?” I asked.

   He nodded. “Yes, everyone who teaches and attends this school is a Traveler. For many people this is home. I am not sure if you noticed but we have people of many different ages here. Travelers are all family.”

    I had not noticed the age difference thing, but I didn't really pay that much attention to the people. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the money to go home,and no outdoor survival instincts to be heard of so I couldn't just run away. 

And what if...    What if he was telling the truth?    I know it sounded crazy but it would explain a couple of things. It would definitely explain the feeling I had of not being all quite here.  Then, without another thought, I decided to believe him. To trust him. 

   “So... I'm a Traveler.” 

   As if he could hear my decision in my voice he nodded and smiled. “Yes, Miss Kinsley. I know you may have a plethora of questions, but that is what this school is for. To learn more about yourself. Now, unless you have any supremely pressing needs, I will need to speak to the next new student.”

    I thought for a moment. What qualified as a supremely pressing need? “Um, I guess not.” I stood and he did as well and shook my hand. He opened the door for me and I exited, letting the next person go in. 

   Once in the hall a smartly dressed man who sat at a desk (he looked like a secretary?), called my name. I walked over to him and he handed me a folder with my name on it. I took it and opened it, leafing through the pages. 

   “That holds your schedule for this first semester and some basic rules to follow and a brief history.” He said this all kind of monotone, like he did it all the time and was sick of it.  

  “Thanks.” I said as I walked away. I took out some stapled papers that read: Schedule, on the front. I read the first page and realized that school didn't technically start till tomorrow. I was relieved. I still wanted to wrap my mind around all of this crazy, and read the rules and history. The history for sure, maybe it would help everything make more sense. 

[powerovernothing]

A little while back I saw that that the most lovely @sevi007​ created a super wonderful post based around the idea of a crossover happening with Yondu and Peter based around the film Road to El Dorado.

Now, considering that’s one of my all time favorite animated movies, and the concept is just way too fitting for our Local Space Assholes that we know and love... well, honestly, I couldn’t help but get inspired and write my own take on this fantastic idea.

So, with that in mind, as well as knowing this is totally in honor of Sevi’s great headcanons, please take a moment and consider both Yondu Udonta and Peter Quill in an over the top scenario similar to the one of the film.

Imagine the two of them in the roles of Miguel and Tulio, but shift the plot ever so slightly so that it fits the world of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Meaning that, while it’s still based on Road to El Dorado of course, it goes from two best friends searching for a golden city, to a father and son looking for great riches...in space!

And while that idea alone can totally create something hilarious with great dialogue, allow me to take a moment and discuss in further detail my own thoughts of what this grand Ravager Family adventure would entail.

(Lots of Yondad and Star Son crossover headcanon and fic under the cut! Prepare for a mix of many feelings~!)

~Both Ravager Father and Son pulling many a scam, as they often do, on some backwater hub on some equally tattered planet, to earn a few extra units on the side -- “’Cussa can’t have on’ too many units, eh, boy?” -- and having it go all so perfectly with Yondu at the head of said scams -- until Peter manages to set his eyes upon a particular holo-map of an unmarked planet being tossed into the betting pile. One that he, oh so surely, believes is indeed their massive ticket to massive wealth -- because when dealing with something that unique, why on earth would it ever be anything else? -- and thus completely forcing his old man into one final game to try his hand in winning their original earnings as well as the map to boot: “Pops, check this shit out! Look at it! Just imagine all the untapped potential! The mystery! The units! The women! It could be like our, I dunno, our destiny or something to find this place before anyone else! Possibly even our fate!” “Boy, if ah’even so much as believed in any’sorta idea o’fate, ah’wouldn’t be sitting up in this shitty bar with you tossing around loaded dice!” “Aw, c’mon, Yondu!” “Oh, don’tcha even start -- not with ‘dem damn eyes of yers -- aw, hell!”

~Them actually winning the game, without a doubt, and collecting the units and the map...but sadly ending up getting caught because of all their scamming done to the locals -- “Guess ‘that ol’ Ravager luck was bound to run out sometime, eh, pops?”/”Dont’cha go blaming ‘dis shit on me now, boy! Ya the one wanted the fool map ta’ begin with!” -- and thus, having to create yet another con just to get away with their asses in tact. Meaning, but of course, fake fighting each other all the way out of the bar and towards some amount of safety. Which looks almost too convincing to any sort of onlookers that aren’t sure what is teasing, conning, or actual truth when it comes to Captain and Star Lord. (But that’s okay, because sometimes neither do they.)

“Ya go an’ raise a boy ever since he was nutfin more ’den ah’ scrawny lil’ youngin, and what he go and do ta’ya in return? Give you loaded dice ta’ get’cha nabbed by’th law?! What kinda’ son would’a -- ah! Nova Core thank’tha stars yer here! Go on now! Arrest ‘dis embarrassment; drag ‘im outta ma’ sight!” “What the hell, you arrogant blueberry? I put up with all your crazy bull for years, and you wanna start shit talking me like this?! When you're the one controling all the cons in the first place, and just pullin’ me along for the ride! No way, arrest him! He’s the crooked one!” “Tha’ it, boy, I just about had enough outta yoo’! Ya and yer damn disrespect! If ya got any sorta scrote left’on ya, you would flash ‘em fancy blasters of yers, and show what kinda man you really are!” “A better man than you, obviously! Come on, let’s go! I’ve been wanting to do this for years!”

~Both of them escaping far away from the various aliens wanting their heads because of their tricks -- after all the blaster shots, whistles, and countless amounts of property damage ring throughout the bar and the streets --  as well as the Nova that has become too done with these two to ever be lenient ever again. And very ‘cleverly’ stowing away on a, what they assumed to be at the time, completely ship and having to escape from that in the end as well.

Because apparently fate -- “And boy, ah’really wish ya’d stop using ‘dat damn term.” -- just loves to take the piss out of them whenever convenient. So they end up floating in a poor, pitiful, half functioning escape pod in the middle of space’s absolute nowhere as wait for life support to give out. "Pops, you ever think that we'd end up going out like this?" "...Well, shit, lotta ways ah’thought our last moments would go, but nowhere near ‘dis humiliatin’" "Hah, well since we're probably gonna kill over any second now, ya got -- I dunno, any regrets, old man?" "A'sides dying out n’space with’cha, boy?" "Yep." "Pffft, hell 'course I do. One bein’ -- I ain't never had ‘nough credits t’pay off all 'em bounties an’ threats on all 'em planets." "My regret -- 'sides killin' over -- is that our most badass adventure, our most epic Ravager heist, is friggin' over before it really even got going, and ain't no one even gonna remember what we did! In this planet. Or in that star system. Or how many people we pissed off in that one..." "Prob’ly space exposure  gettin' all up in these ol' eyes or sumfin -- but I figure I oughta let'cha know, Pet --" "Oh wait, don't tell me. Right before you die on me, leaving me all alone in this escape pod -- and first of all, how effing dare you -- ya gonna tell me something all sappy and heartfelt? Like, how you never knew jackshit about raisin’ a kid, but you did your best and in the end ‘I really came ta care fer ya like my own, Petey, and I don’t wanna leave ya, even though it’s mostly all my fault in the first place -- ‘" "...Al'rite 'dats it. I had this whole' speech all rearin' to go, but ya just had to go and ruin it. Well, fergit' it; ya ain't worth the breath. And it was damn nice too, ah’ll have ya know." "Yeah, yeah...love ya too, Yondu."

~The two of them eventually getting out of the pod, (After crashing landing, with a lot of loud swears, whistling, and throwing the blame around. Because obviously this is Peter’s fault somehow.) and even despite the super close call, Peter then realizes where exactly they ended up and having a sudden second wind full of adventure and excitement!

“‘Ey, boy, getc’ha ass over here and help out with this ‘ere pod! We gotta get it runnin...unless o’course yer wanting to make dis ‘ere yer second Terra --” “Holy shit, Yondu.” “Quill, now, I expect ya’ to answer me when I’m orderin --” “Holy shit, Yondu! You are not going to believe our luck!” “What are ya shout-- oh hell, don’tcha tell me that that is --” “We almost died like, way more times than normal, and got lost in space on top of that, but oh my God, look! We’re actually here! We found it!” “Ya still have that piece’a junk, after all ‘dis time!? And durin’ all that, you ain’t never thought about -- I dunno, grabbing a lil’ more resources!?” “Dude, get over here, look, look, look! You said so yourself, back at the bar --” “I reckon I said a’ lotta things --” “You said this place could be real, and it is, man! It totally is! And we are the first ones to find it! The riches! The mystery! The women! It’s completely ours!” “...Remind me ‘gain why I ain’t dumped yer crazy ass years ago?”

Outside of the amusing interactions that ended up leading to the Guardians versions of “El Dorado”, imagine for a moment how you could take this crossover idea and turn it into something quite clever and original! I’m sure that everyone has their own ideas -- but since I’m always the one who loves coming up with adventures for these two. How about for a moment, you consider this here: ~The two of them, after being on the Trail We Blaze for quite a while, and having to rely on each other’s expertise to figure out the map -- including Yondu getting annoyed at first, because how on earth did his son ever talk him into trucking through wilderness of an unknown world, and “Ya sure ya even know where’th hell ya going, boy?”  -- eventually finding out the secrets of the uncharted planet. That being a long lost Centaurian tribe that automatically hails them both as Gods -- Yondu as the one that “Escaped His Chains” and Peter as "The One Who Carries The Light” ~Yondu being incredibly unnerved by this idea, mostly over Peter’s title, and when said, oh so stupid, son of his gets way too ahead of himself in terms of newfound fame -- “Petey, ya know that ther’ lil’ voice ‘dat folks have 'dat tell ‘em to quit when they’re ahead?”/”Uh, yeah --?”/”YA AIN’T GOT ONE, BOY.” -- he actually decides to go along with the wild and crazy idea of “Godhood”. Firstly, just to make sure that Peter doesn’t end up getting himself killed over all of this, and second because never had any warm feelings for his people; (And finding a full tribe of them isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing) so, if he can have a little bit of fun at their expense and also walk away rich...well, it couldn’t be all bad, right? ~Both Ravager Father and Son having to keep up their God like con for three whole days, until they can get some means of transport back to the Elector properly, and Yondu’s fun starting to melt away into full fledged worry. Because being around these people for one evening is bad enough, and obviously Peter doesn’t release what could happen if they are caught, and the repressed memories alone--! “No, seriously man, look at this -- having been hidden away for so long, aren’t you just the least bit curious  --” ”Hell no, boy! Don’t’yoo even move so much’asa muscle!” ”Hah, Yondu, c’mon, ya gotta be --” ”Wha I just tell ya?! And look’atcha! Yer moving! You are abs’olu’ly moving! And I just said not to!” “Whoa, hang on, I just --” “Ey, ey! Stop, right now, Quill! I mean it!” “P-Pops, ya can’t be --” “I swear ta’th stars, that if you so much as move an inch, I’ll show ya just how many of ‘dem “Eat’yoo” threats I really meant! Just. Stay. Put. Peter!” “For, three, friggin’ days?!”

~Peter eventually escaping out from underneath his dad’s watchful gaze, and exploring the village all on his own. And in doing so, bringing music to the Centaurian children, and teaching them how to dance, oh so awkwardly mind you, but the concept just being very sweet all the same. ~The mood ultimately shifting at the end of the big adventure, because of a Centaurian slaver secretly being among the tribe. And him knowing who both Peter and Yondu are -- who they really are -- and thus believing that they would fetch an amazing price along with the rest of the slaves, and  turning against them because of greed and selfishness. The exact same thing that originally brought both Father and Son to finding this place to begin with. And so, when that terrible truth comes to light, both Yondu and Peter end up throwing their original plans away -- because they may be a-holes, surely, but they’re not, as they would say, 100% dicks, and oh man do they really hate slavers -- and Yondu takes on the slaver single handed, while Peter frees the children and elders that had been captured and tortured while under this terrible Centaurian’s awful control. Meaning that, after all their greatness, the two of them end up being held as heroes among the people. Not Gods, but heroes. And somehow that just feels a whole hell of a lot better.

~The Centaurians going a bit further with their praise, and offering Yondu a place among their tribe because of how he destroyed the slaver with his own hands, and broke free all the chains that held them down. But Yondu simply shaking his head to their words, knowing well enough that his place is out there among the Stars -- with a certain annoying ass lil’ Lord of them right beside him as they both chart their own paths through the galaxy. ~Yondu throwing an arm around Peter’s shoulder, and the two of them walking away from the village with massive grins on their faces.

Not only because they make damn fine heroes when they want to be, but also during the intense battle, both Father and Son managed to take whatever the slaver had on him. That being a fair amount of credits that will keep the Ravagers going for quite a while, but also some rather interesting coordinates to a nearby Slaver camp.

“Ah’m kinda feeling up to a Free Em and Burn Em run; what’cha say, son?” “I say that you completely read my mind, old man.”

Because maybe Peter and Yondu enjoy the occasional adventure in space, and maybe they both end up getting on each others nerves when that adventure doesn’t go according to plan, (Or goes too well?) and perhaps they completely adore the idea of relaxing with endless amounts wealth underneath them...

...but by the end of the day, they still remain the duo that they’ve always been. The ones that care too deeply and loves too easily, and will willingly protect and save all that they’re able to, including each other, even though they would deny all the way to the grave that they’re nothing more than Ravagers.

And don’t you know that they don’t have a heart?

But even as the Slaver Camp burns down to ashes, and Yondu and Peter manage to grant freedom to the ones that were denied it, and begin their next big adventure together with the rest of Ravagers crew...you know that no matter what comes their way; they won’t ever change.

Freeing slaves, burning camps, getting drunk off their asses and taking the occasional extra unit when no one is looking, they still are the actual worse kinds of heroes that the galaxy has ever known.

...But isn’t that one of the mains reasons that we adore these assholes so much? ;)

[falling-pages]

Tough Kids: Short Story

This story is about two characters, pseudo-siblings, who run a con to get to California. They finally have a heart-to-heart about their past, futures, and the impact they have had on each other while also getting on each others’ nerves.

Below is the link to read it in another tab, in case you don’t like reading it in a text box. Read, reblog, share, like, and comment!

*My story and characters. All rights reserved*

“That’s no way for you to live. I have to think about you, about your future. You’re my family now, too.” “Don’t worry about me. I’m with you, for whatever happens.”

https://writer.zohopublic.com/writer/published/f0tjsc4cf6bad9dd7441e8b35a5b1d1542f40

Moonlight washes over his hair, shrouding him in an angelic light so ironic God would chuckle. He didn’t hear me coming, or if he did, he gave no indication. But as I walked closer to him, the moonlight blanket began to fade until it was just a thin mist around his gaunt frame. I kicked a pebble and he slightly turned his head; the shadows did nothing to hide the worry lines on his forehead and the bags under his eyes. Suddenly, the light wasn’t so angelic. It was ghostly and cold.             He doesn’t deserve ghostly and cold. He deserves warm firelight and a mother’s kiss while he sleeps. And a meal, for God’s sake. He looks like he hasn’t eaten in days.             “Aren’t you cold out here?” I ask, touching his pointed shoulder.             He flinches under my touch, but he plays it off as a shrug. “Not really.”             “Come back inside, Mark,” I say. “The fire is going, and I’ll make you some tea if you can’t fall asleep.”             “I’m just scared they’re gonna find out,” he says, eager to change the subject. He reaches up to scratch his eyebrow, his hand practically glowing white. “Cons like this never last. Someone is going to figure us out, and then what?”             “That’s a problem for another day, kid.” I lean my forearms on the ledge of the porch balcony. “Don’t worry about that.”             Mark mirrors my posture, looking out over the parking lot of the motel. “I can’t lose this, Pipes. You’re like a sister to me.”             “Well, that is the gimmick we’re using.” I reach over and ruffle his hair. “Even though we look nothing alike.”                    “Yeah, yeah, I got mom’s eyes and dad’s nose and you got dad’s hair and mom’s face or whatever.” He recites our fake genetic history without any hesitation, rolling his eyes. “I don’t see how people fall for it.”             “Don’t question it,” I say. “The more convincing we are, the more money we make. Besides, we can always say we’re half-siblings or that you’re adopted.”             “Hey! Why am I the adopted one?”             “Because I'm the one who literally found you in a dumpster."             He swats at me and frowns. His face is rough and hard, his cheekbones so sharp. I need to be a better sister, better provider—             A gust of wind blows through, and Mark shakes. I take off my scarf and offer it to him. “Sure you’re not cold?”             He hesitates, then shakes his head. “I’ve had worse before you met me. Nothing beats New Years in the Bronx, I swear. Cardboard boxes don’t do jack.”             I roll my eyes and loop the scarf around his neck anyways. “But you’re not on the streets anymore,” I plead. “You’re in Richmond, in a motel with a lit fireplace and a bed and blankets. Please come inside.”             He stands his ground, and I lose my patience. I reach and grab him by the ear and march back to our room. Despite his protests, I’m determined.            After unlocking the door, we go inside, and I shove him onto his bed. “What was that for?” he yells, rubbing his ear.             I draw the curtains and warm up the tea kettle. After I complained a couple of times to the concierge about having coffee but no tea, they sent some tea bags free of charge. Sometimes it pays to be pushy. Now we’ll have supplies while we’re on the road.             “You are not caching a cold on my watch,”I say, rummaging through the bags.                “Why not?” On cue, he sneezes. “It would help sell the act.”               I pause. That is true, but there are too many variables. “You would sneeze on a potential Good Samaritan and scare him off.” I rummage through the tea choices, frowning at the lack of actually good options. “How do you feel about chamomile?”             “Whatever.” Mark winces as he unwraps my scarf. In an instant, I’m at his side unpacking the first aid kit. His movement cracks his chapped knuckles, the slight bit of blood still unsightly. He catches my gaze and snickers. “This is your fault, you know. You wouldn’t let me use your lotion.”             “Hey.” I dab at the wound with a cotton ball. “If you wanna smell like peony and lavender, be my guest.” He wrinkles his nose, and I smirk. “Want me to get you some manly lotion next time we hit the store?”             “Please. Get some scents like football or war or denial.”             Smiling, I hold up the bloody cotton ball and dab some ointment on his skin. “Can you wrap them, or do you need me to?”                          He rolls his eyes hard enough to see stars. “Scratch what I said. You’re not a sister to me, you’re definitely like a mom.”             “You bet I am, kid. Now, is that a yes or a no?”             “No!” He snatches the bandages from me. “I’m sixteen, Piper. I can put a Band-Aid on my hand.”             I raise my hands in surrender. “Okay, kid, just making sure.”             He peels the bandage. “I’m not a kid.”             “You act like it sometimes.”             “Hey!” This time he laughs, and my heart warms up. Any time he laughs is rare. I want to treasure it. Hopefully I can get him to laugh a little more and smile a little brighter. “You can’t call me a kid, you’re just nineteen!”             “Which makes me a legal adult, which means I can adopt you.” I smack my lips as I put on lip balm. “So unless you want to be calling me mom for the rest of your life, I suggest you start respecting your elders, son.”             Mark opens his mouth, shuts it, and opens it again. “You’re so annoying.”             The kettle whistles, and I grab two mugs to pour the tea. “You know I’m doing this for the best, right? You’re my family now, too.”             With a brief smile, he joins me on the couch. “I know.”             We sip in silence for a little bit, enjoying the heat and each other’s company. When we first met seven months ago, I had no idea that the soaked, shivering orphan hiding in a Philadelphia dumpster would end up meaning the world to me. He has helped me deal with my issues, and I’ve hoped I’ve helped him with his. Back then, he could barely stand and shrunk from every outstretched hand. Now, he’s tapping my foot with his own, one of his concentrating quirks. It took him awhile to allow me to touch him, but I don’t blame him a bit after what he went through. Progress is progress. Every time he lets me hug him, however briefly, my spirits soar.             My eyes drift over his figure, swallowed up by the sweatshirt. He’s so thin, so underdeveloped. We might be the same height, but he’s so scrawny I’m afraid the wind is going to pick him up and carry him away.             I set my jaw. I will not let that happen. I’m going to protect him.             “What are you thinking about, Pipes?”             “Hmm?”I look up over the rim of my mug and see Mark staring at me, eyebrows raised. His large brown eyes shine like a thousand stars in the firelight. Those eyes have seen too much at such a young age. He’s too young. He should be playing Fortnite and dating and studying for school, not aching from beatings and running from the law.             “I said, what are you thinking about?”             I set my mug down and draw my knees up to my chest. “Wondering why they put fireplaces in rooms that cost thirty bucks a night,” I laugh. “I mean, this whole joint could go ‘poof’ in a second if there were any of the unscrupulous types here.”             Mark squints at me. “Piper. We literally just stole a laptop and five hundred dollars.” He traces the outline of his mug. “Plus, we con people out of money by saying we’re siblings trying to get to California to escape from our abusive dad. We have fake I.D.s! We are the unscrupulous type!”             Okay, he’s got me there. “Well, part of that is true. We are going to California, and you are escaping your abusive dad.”             After a beat, he slurps his tea and asks me, “What happens when we get to California? What do we do there?”             A lot of ideas go through my head, but I dismiss them. “There are a couple of programs for at-risk youth for you, and some job trainings for me, but I don’t know,” I admit. “I just thought I would be hopping trains and pickpocketing for the rest of my life. Then I met you.” I nudge him with my foot. “And that’s no way for you to live. I can’t think about myself anymore, you’re here, and I have to think about your future and what’s best for you.”             “Pssh.” He blows air out of his mouth. “I already dropped out of school before I met you. Now I have a criminal record. We can worry about the future when it comes. For right now, let’s focus on scamming people and getting food.”             “And not dying in this sketchy motel.”             He smiles and puts his hand on top of mine. “Don’t worry about my future. I’m with you for whatever happens.”             It’s so touching that I almost cry. The silence is thick. His eyes are bright. My heart is full.             Then he sneezes and ruins the Hallmark moment.             “See!”I shout, pointing my finger. “You’re gonna get a cold! I told you!”             Mark slowly opens his eyes, looking high as hell. “I feel like I lost part of my soul in that sneeze,” he whispers.             I laugh. “Finish your tea, and then let’s get you to bed, tiger.”             “But this is disgusting!” he says, eyes clear. “I can’t finish this!”             “Take it like a shot,” I shrug. I get up, wiping my hands on my pants. “I gotta pee. Be finished when I get out.”             “But it’s hot!” he whines.             “Liquor burns worse. Drink up.”             When I get out of the bathroom, he is leaning against the kitchen sink, arms crossed and pouting. I swear sometimes it feels like I’m raising a four-year-old instead of a teenager.             “That was horrible,” he spits out, his face all screwed up.             “It’s for your own good. You’re welcome!”             “Stop being so peppy at my misery!”             “Sorry, kid.” I walk to him and ruffle his hair. “It’s better than you getting a cold. We can’t afford any accidents; people here are stingier than I thought.”             He wipes his nose. Just as I was about to comment on the price of laundry, too, he pulls me into a hug and nestles his face into my neck, squeezing my shoulders. I return it immediately. He rarely returns affection, much less initiates it, so something must be eating him. I pull back and gently touch the back of his head. “What’s wrong?”             A few tears fall down his cheeks, and he swats them away. “Nothing’s wrong, it’s just…everything is okay. For once.”             I tilt my head. “What?”             He clears his throat. “Look, you know I had a pretty shitty childhood. After Mom left Dad, everything just fell apart. I mean, I guess it did. I don’t remember her at all. But then he would just tell me all the time that I was worthless, I was a burden, he wished I had never been born, stuff like that.” I steady him against the counter as he starts to shake. “Then when I got older, he…” When he stops, my mind flashes to the scars on his back at the beach. “But right before I ran away, he told me that no one would ever love me.”             In that moment, my heart splits into a thousand pieces. He spills out everything he had kept locked inside for those seven months, finally ready to release.             “Oh, Mark.” I pull him to me, lightly massaging his shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”             His voice is thick and strained. “And I believed him,” he whispers, flexing his fingers into fists on my back. “I mean, I was one of thousands of runaway kids in New York. I did what I could to survive, but I honestly didn’t care if I died or not.” My hold on him tightens. I gently run a hand through his hair, not wanting to trigger his aversion. “But just when I really thought I would always be on my own, you found me, Piper.” He pulls back and looks at me in the face, his eyes red. “You took a chance on me and you took care of me. You gave me attention and food and love and a family. You showed me that I am worthy of love.” His trance breaks, and he snaps out of the mood. “Oh God, I’m crying. Why the hell am I crying?”             I choke out a laugh, now that I’m in tears too. “Let it out.”             Batting at his tears with the heels of his palms, he steals a glance at me. “I made you cry? Oh God, I made you cry. I’m sorry.”             “Hey!” I grab his hands away from his face. “It’s okay. Finish the story.”             “You’ve shown me that you care for me,” he continues. “I don’t know why, because I’m an asshole sometimes, but you still care about me.”             I take the moment to loop my arm around his neck, leading him to the bed. He only gets very emotional when he’s very tired, and in the state he’s in, he’ll pass out any minute. “Yeah, well, that’s true,” I say. “But you’re my asshole, and I’m not going to let something bad happen to you.”             We reach the bed. I look up and see his eyes nearly shut, and he starts to sway. “Come on, tiger, get some rest.” I pull back the sheets and help him in. Poor kid collapses immediately. I don’t blame him. We’ve had a rough few days.             As I walk away, I feel his hand latch on to mine. I turn and he smiles contentedly, so adorable and happy. I want him to stay that way. That’s my job.             “Piper?”             “Mhmm?”             His smile expands, and he looks like a little cherub. “Even though you’re not my mom, thanks for taking care of me. You’re a lot better than my old man.”             I lean down and brush his hair out of his face. “I care about you. You’re never a burden to me.”             “Goodnight…Pi…”             I gaze down at him as he drifts off. “Goodnight, tiger.”             Once I’m sure he’s asleep, I wash the mugs, put out the fire, and pull the envelope out of my pocket. We only made fifty bucks today, barely enough to cover the rent for the room and laundry tonight. We need to make more to get food, and then we’ll probably skip town. Southerners aren’t as hospitable as I thought.             While I think, I watch Mark’s shallow breathing. He is definitely going to get sick at the worst possible time. We can hardly afford medicine, much less a clinic visit. If he gets sick, there’s no way I’m letting him on the job with me. Even though the sibling act rakes in more cash, he needs to rest.             Oh, well. We’ll figure it out. We’ve weathered worse.             I put the money back and climb onto the couch, shivering as I try to relax. The fireplace would be really nice, but I’m not going to risk it burning out when I’m sleeping three feet away.             The cushions are lumpy, but I manage to doze off, only hearing the quiet pant of Mark’s snores. I guess I shouldn’t worry about him. Nothing’s worse than New Years in the Bronx, apparently. Besides, he’s a tough kid. I am too. And maybe, as long as we stay together, these two tough kids can turn out alright.

[smartphone-science]

Malicious Takeovers Happen – and It Could Happen to You Too

So I want to use this post to get straight to the point. Recently I lost all admin rights on my own Facebook page, Cat. I was the creator of the page and only person with admin rights to the page. Over the last few years I have used the page to share my love of cats and certain aspects of my life with a steadily growing base of followers. To some people it is probably “just a Facebook page” – and that is a fair assessment, but without going on about it in detail I will say that it means quite a lot to me. Losing the page even for a short amount of time freaked me the heck out, and rather than pretend it didn’t happen because it was a bit embarrassing – I want to talk about how it happened so it doesn’t happen to anyone else.

If you are owner/admin of a Facebook page with a relatively large audience or high amount of cyber traffic – then you are a vulnerable target in the eyes of people with malicious intent. You may think that you are far too clever or internet savvy to fall for an online scam. I know I certainly thought I was. And that was the first of several mistakes I made on the way to losing admin rights on my own page.

Mistake Number 1: “I know that online scams exist, but I’m not actually silly enough to fall for one.”

I guess at the end of the day I’m quite quick to self-blame but I actually do see this as probably one of the most important factors. I’m not completely naive to the world of internet scammers, in fact, I ignore hundreds of fake requests to my page inbox on a regular basis. I don’t forward chain emails. I see friends fall for a scam and I think, “that wouldn’t happen to me.” The entire time I was being led on, I did have a bit of a bad feeling and on reflection can look at what happened and think “wow I was foolish,” but at the time my feelings of doubt were dampened significantly by thoughts of “surely this isn’t a scam because it’s different. SURELY I would know if it was a scam.”

Mistake Number 2: A scam by any other name is still a scam.

Scammers pretty much rely on changing their tactics to adapt to changes in the information people have about them that exposes their schemes. Most of us have stopped thinking we will win an iPhone for sharing that giveaway post, and so the people wanting to rip us off have to change their game in order to keep up with the people cottoning on to their plans. It’s easier to get caught by a scam that is set up differently than all the others you’ve seen and it was one of the first things that led to me dropping my guard. In these screenshots I’ve given an example to the type of message the page has sent to it on a regular basis that I usually just ignore.

Most of the time, when I look at the inbox at a later date the profile is no longer available and the messages removed as they have been identified as spam or abuse. I’m very accustomed to getting them and very accustomed to ignoring them.

So what happened? How and why did I drop my guard?

I’ve thought quite a lot about this as it was ultimately my own fault that the page was stolen and frankly I felt pretty bad during the whole ordeal. There were a couple of factors that aren’t really within my control that contributed and they are interrelated. I am struggling with an ongoing mental health battle due to a seemingly malevolent trifecta of PTSD, depression and anxiety. This has led to having a financial struggle as this mental state has meant I’ve been unable to continue my medical school education at the present time and have not been able to work. Feeling like a financial burden on my family and wanting to provide some economic relief was a driving factor in the entire debacle. However, what I  thought would happen and what actually happened were two drastically different things.

What I thought would happen: I would be providing links to relevant products for the people who like and follow the page – cat T-shirts and fun products for cats and their humans – while generating some income so I don’t feel terrible about staying home and making cat memes.

What actually happened: I woke up one morning to find I had no control over my page and another person had been added who was posting irrelevant spammy content every few hours. People in the comments section were saying I had sold the page and basically I went into a complete state of panic. I felt stupid, angry, and absolutely devastated that my cat page had been stolen after all. Ultimately I got it back – but this is overwhelmingly not the case for all such takeovers and so I want to write about what happened in case anyone else finds themselves in  a similar position.

The details: 

I receive a message to the Cat page from a person claiming to work for an advertising company. I see the message and initially get annoyed as I assume it is yet another scammer so I grouchily message them back to tell them I’m not interested in doing any business with them unless they will email me with the details. Not too sure why I set this strange invisible condition of a person’s legitimacy but for some reason I felt like those who were dodgy would refuse to email me.

“Velma” sends an email to me with her terms of business.

3. I agreed to proceed and “Velma” begins the next step in her process of fooling me into losing administrative rights on my own page. First she sent this email, carefully worded in a way that leads me to believe the process is to PROTECT my security.

4. “Velma” sends the invitation from Business Manager; the email comes from Facebook because the scammers are using an official Facebook tool to carry out their plot.

        5. At this point I have reached a state in which I am simultaneously suspicious that something is up, while also thinking that no harm can be done if I proceed with the invitation. After some excruciating internal debate I decide to accept the invitation. “Velma” directs me through with the following screens to add my page to the advertising account. Note that at this point I was actually kind of worried but “Velma” convinced me that it was ME sending the invitation and only me who could give anyone admin rights.

6. I sent “Velma” a message with the screenshot of the page ownership request, because to me it seemed like accepting the request would be handing over the page to her business. She convinced me that was not the case (spoiler, she lied, it was the case).

7. Up until this point, “Velma” had been kind of pushy with her messages. Once the page transfer was done, she became strangely quiet. I became very concerned that I was making a big mistake and messaged her asking why she was no longer responding.

8. After a day or two of politely waiting for “Velma” to continue the process of sponsored advertising, I became too anxious to continue and sent her a message saying I was going to contact Facebook and ask them to reverse the process because it didn’t seem like I had done the right thing by handing over ownership of the page. “Velma” insisted that she would contact Facebook herself to sort out the issues. I went to sleep. I did not screenshot the last messages, which is a same because the next morning I woke to find I had lost control of the Cat page completely. I could no longer access the messages, post as the page, remove posts by the page, or anything else other than viewing the insights, because my page role had been downgraded to “analyst” instead of admin. There were three strange, click bait, spammy videos that had nothing to do with cats posted on the page. Fans were irate and each of the posts had comments about how the page had been sold or hacked.

It felt like a bad dream but it slowly sunk in that I had in fact been duped. For an hour or two I freaked out and tried finding SOME WAY, ANY WAY, of contacting Facebook to tell them what had happened. Friends commented on how similar things had happened to them or someone they knew and the success rate of page return was quite low, involving a lot of effort. Ultimately I became extremely worried that I had permanently lost the page due to my own foolishness and finding a way of getting it reinstated seemed virtually impossible.

I found a way of submitting a report through bug feedback and wrote the details in the form, hoping for the best. Hundreds of people supported me by commenting on Cat and reporting the page for intellectual property threat. Many people encouraged me to set up a new page and start again – but to me it seemed pretty half hearted since the other page was already so large. I set a new page up anyway but felt completely devastated by the loss of Cat and furious with both myself AND the hijackers for the whole situation. However, I DID ultimately get the page returned to me – and it was much quicker and easier than I thought it would be.

Getting it Back:

During the whole ordeal I tried many different ways of getting to speak with someone at Facebook, well aware that this is pretty much impossible most of the time. A friend of mine who lost a Facebook page in the same kind of way told me about his method to get his page back and it sounded pretty arduous to be honest, involving providing identification etc. However, he also gave me this link which is a simple form that you submit when you have lost access to a page which is yours because an admin was hacked: https://m.facebook.com/help/contact/1280439701975125

Several hours after I used the above report to let Facebook know I had lost access to the page, I received a notification from Facebook with a message to say that my page admin rights had been restored.

So there you have it. Yes, I am embarrassed that I fell for this scam. Part of me did not want to tell other people how silly I can be, but I think it is important for other people to see how it can happen to just about anyone. If you are one of the people who supported me during this time, thank you! I wanted to give up several times but the large movement of people behind me really helped. And of course I found it pretty amusing to read all the messages demanding that the page be returned to its rightful owner –  don’t screw with cat people…we are a different type of human, that’s for sure. I guess it’s safe to say I probably will have a much higher degree of caution going forward.

Until next time,  Love from, 

Cat’s Human

  via Science Blogs

[esfor-dazrumi-18]

findings

y’know it says a lot when it tries so hard to look like fucking twitter and the like where it’s all tiny and stuff

moment you join too you’re forced to pick tags so they can cater to ya i just picked the obvious shit

tbh i don’t like being tracked but i got shit to say so i’ll get on with it.

i don’t follow the rules other people set out, i make my own, so don’t whine this is long or shit, y’all learn to read in school for a reason, bookmark it or something, heck, read and then stop, ain’t my fault it’s your own disinterest

was following this guy named bogor. been helping out some girl with her problems, various things on the net she can’t confront due to various issues, associations, internets a nasty place yo so me and a few friends go around doing the work and the eyes for em

we’re not on the internet much, we’re just people with a close attachment to each other, so dont expect to see all your picture pic stuff, that ain’t our thing here, i just looked up blogging sites n tumblr was in the list so i’ll treat it as that

despite we aren’t on the internet much, we got a basic grasp how these things go.

so then

my situation, as esfor, is, wow, hecked up. Didn’t realise someone else here chose the same name oh well that’s what i did for google. but never mind. Me and a friend, puni, who’s looking up places like gbatemp are searchin the web all fine n dandy and then I get asked by our girl ‘there’s this suspicious forum can u look into it’

so puni goes into this forum and fucks up first impressions, so then i go in. there’s a guy named bogor who runs the place and holy fuck he’s nuts. like not even slightly, this dude’s inferior complex is bigger than you’ll ever know

so the reason we were asked to inspect some suspicious looking forum was because this concerns her finances. It runs on the assumption that this program this girl’s mum has signed up to is a scam, been running for 20 years with slow increments to givin cash. Loads of cash, sounds like blatant scam material, but the site’s materials are a decade old, and this guy seems hell bent on controlling that material as well.

Finances ain’t a joke, neither are scams. So as a friend i decide to be cover. puni fucked up the first impressions, indicating she wasn’t gonna lurk so I had to take measures. some other guy comes in who we don’t know, and after many logic tossups with admittedly little material on my end, this guy takes drastic measures threatening his family, and i don’t agree with the threatening the family bit, but i agree with the post in an admittedly vague way, and then he bans both our asses.

So then I can’t speak, puni and peli (another dude, more rude than me or puni if i’m being honest) make an account called muzifa to lurk. this time, we say nothing until yesterday

this suspicious forum doesn’t attract much activity, there’s only a few hundred members on the forum, suspiciously, though, they don’t get active on the site much. ever since both of us got suspended, your email gets verified, which is fine, our emails are gibberish anyway irrelevant to the names we choose (except the one on this site), but yea, despite this, there’s like 1 or 2 members that even speak at that. the forum’s running in mybb.

which is obvious, i lurk another forum infrequently which uses the exact same format so i’m not particularly unknown

when i say i’m not in the internet that’s more a lie. i have twitter, i have nowhere else though. i lurk more quiet places. no facebook, no insta, no shit. just twitter to converse about problems with the other dudes (or girls in the cases of our friend and puni), so i know this shit, i just don’t take myself to care about much of the spammy promote-yourself shit.

basically, the gist of the forum is this program is run by a guy named mike, who’s supposedly an immigrant as we’ve half-learned, and yo, he posts updates every 2 weeks basically drunk. this bogor bitch posts said updates in text on the forum, and reacts to em callin mike names and shit, and he expects everyone to go along with it. puni on muzifa’s account got too heated, because bogor went all authoritarian on him too, but here’s the logic tho

mike got contacted in one of these updates and he posted the email addresses of all involved. some of these emails mention a jeff.

so there’s a whole team behind this scam... huh interesting a whole team

yet bogor goes ‘there’s no team, just mike’ which dang dun lines up with the suspicions from our source. sure, teams can be involved in scams, no denying there. but use your words: a team is comprised of more than one person. so if bogor claims to have inside info, how come he’s sure there’s no ‘team’ if there’s a jeff? is jeff some personality? but then why’re the emails mentioning jeff and mike as if they’re separate?

and mike’s drunk updates refer to himself as mike at the end of every one. if he wanted to fake out by being jeff, he’d be jeff. so if he’s getting shit from jeff, who’s a different person, ergo, there’s a team. 2 people sure, but that’s still a team. there’s no i in team.

there isn’t a response to this, and as well, this lot also fuck up forum formatting because usually on these forums there’s tags to tell you when the reply ends if you’re responding to a quoted post, that’s how the text after isn’t stuck in the blob, but this lot like the 40 yr olds they are continue writing in this field. i’m not that old i can’t clearly see when the field ends

so bogus then bands muzifa with warnings that as peli tells us he’s blocked from seeing because the site totally blocks him from doing anything, apparently reading your own private messages is a warning. puni then goes back with her permanent account, with words from me in twitter as to what constitutes a response, and despite this, even she’s blocked, for supposedly 2 weeks. peli gets on with a different email, but the account is blocked instantly. so it’s not even a matter of 2 weeks, peli was blocked on sight.

so why care so much about an admin on a suspicious site, why not just leave it alone?

well first up, this scam hasn’t coughed itself up so the site has some merit

we received some emails pointing to two instances happening at once. the one with mike in charge, and one suspiciously pointing to bogor (including a recent update from mike himself claiming bogor is behind the crappy shit), along with a gmail account called ‘vsb-trust’ that supposedly said payment is happening, but only if $200 per member were sent. Since the girl involved in this is young, that’s $400.

we also found in this decade old site that’s suspiciously not on the frontloaded site he keeps pointing to (bogor loves to say google looking his name only results in scams, but all of them are a decade-old or dead in the case of the old forum), a letter containing something from the authority with some bogus claim he got evidence they don’t have

it’s like if he were being honest he’d have sent it right then and now why put this out to the publi-

oh right

he then asks for 50 grand from everyone to give this evidence to the authority.

Suspiciously in this forum, the one where he asked 200 from everyone also is never mentioned, despite it, y’know, supposedly being under mike’s name.

even though it ain’t according to these old emails

so basically both are scams and i’d like if we could change google’s history so we ain’t painting it as so one-sided

what the fuck 50 grand to send evidence about a criminal like fuckin wow i’m pretty sure your singaporean woman had better things to do than entertain a fuckin coward

because it’s obvious, set up a forum that really should’ve been a blog (he had no money for a blog), people join to echo chamber (just like actual scams, the replies usually aren’t real especially if they’re a pic), and then they lure u in, simple as that

because we try arguing with logic against the points, not that we dont agree, just the logic’s all fucked up, but nah, heck it

idk what the fuck to do with this tumblr now i think imma chill it

but i’ll still be spittin on tumblr

[fmservers]

Inside the pay-for-post ICO industry

In a world where nothing can be trusted and fake news abounds, ICO and crypto teams are further muddying the waters by trying – and often failing – to pay for posts. While bribes for blogs is nothing new, sadly the current crop of ICO creators and crypto projects are particularly interested in scaling fast and many ICO CEOs are far happier with scammy multi-level marketing tricks than real media relations.

The worst part of this spammy, scammy ecosystem is the service providers. A new group of media organizations are appearing where pay-to-post is the norm rather than the rare exception. I’ve been looking at these groups for a while now and recently found a few egregious examples.

But first some background.

Oh yeah, Mr. Smart Guy? How do I get press?

Say you’re trying to publicize a startup. You’ve emailed all the big names in the industry and the emails have gone unanswered. Your product is about to flounder on the market without users and you can’t get any because, in perfect chicken-or-egg fashion, you can’t get funding without users and you can’t get users without funding. So isn’t it a good idea to pay a few dollars for a little press?

No.

And isn’t most PR just pay-for-post anyway?

No.

PR people are consummate networkers and are paid to reach out to media on your behalf and their particular set of skills, honed over long careers, are dedicated to breaking down the forcefield between the journalist and the outside world. They are your surrogate hustlers, dedicated to getting you more exposure. A good PR person is worth their weight in gold. They can call up a popular journalist and make a simple pitch: “This cool new thing is happening. Can I put you in touch?”

If a journalist’s mission is to afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted, a good PR person makes the comfortable look slightly afflicted in order to give the journalist a better story. Also, like velociraptors, they are tenacious and will follow up multiple times on your behalf.

A bad PR person, on the other hand, will cold-call hundreds of journalists and read a script that is half the length of Moby Dick. They produce little more than spam and their efforts begin and end with pressing the “Send” button. It’s also interesting to note that many bad PR people, of late, have found new life as ICO specialists.

Now meet the pay-for-post hucksters. As I wrote before, there is now a subset of the PR world that offers to get your press release or story on the top of various websites for the low, low price of between $500 and $13,000. For example, one set of hucksters created a small business selling posts on Harvard.edu by creating garbage WordPress blogs and posting press releases to increase SEO coverage. Further, I received a document that outlined the prices for placement in various blogs including this one. While it is impossible to buy a post on TechCrunch this way, it doesn’t stop many from trying.

What’s the difference between that price list and the job a PR person will do for you? The difference is trust. A pay-for-post huckster is dependent on convincing poorly paid freelance writers to add links and other dross to their posts in order to get a “placement.” I get requests like this almost every day and almost all the journalists I talked to reported the same.

Some entrepreneurs are savvy enough to avoid these scams. Even more aren’t.

“I’ve never paid since I think it’s almost always a waste of money but I’ve been offered this type of coverage many times,” said Rick Ramos, of HealthJoy.com. “The last offer was for Kathy Ireland’s Worldwide Business… A TV show that I’ve never heard of in my life. I’ve also been approached by niche publications like InsuranceOutlook and HealthCareTechOutlook that want $3,000 for a ‘reprint branding package.’ A quick Alexa.com search shows their rank as 1,725,207 and 1,054,501 globally. I think I get pitched at least every six months for one of these types of packages.

Unfortunately, many of these organizations hide their request for payment until the last minute. That said, how do you know when it’s someone selling pay-for-play vs. a real editor? It’s usually obvious.

“It’s usually pretty easy to sniff out based on their email blast. It’s pretty untargeted with no reference to what your company does or how it related to a story. Some people are up front about the payment but others want a ’15 min call to discuss.’ A quick LinkedIn search always shows them as a sales person versus a reporter or editor,” said Ramos.

It’s getting worse

This is a document I received from a company attempting an ICO. This sort of menu was quite uncommon until fairly recently when the “on-demand” economy melded with PR scammers. The completeness of the document is unique – you could feasibly plan your own PR efforts just by reaching out to journalists who work at all of these places. But you’ll also note that each spot has its own price, often in the low hundreds of dollars, which means that those spots are mostly pay-for-play anyway.

ICOLists by on Scribd

No PR company can promise coverage. In fact, many pay-for-play folks mention this in their communications, hiding it in plain sight. This snippet of text appeared in a contract for work from one of the pay-for-play providers. In short, you’re paying for something they cannot guarantee to get. Interestingly, the PR company below calls their product an IO – an insertion order – which is language used in ad sales. Further, they take great pains in explaining that it is almost impossible to achieve what they promise.

None of the pay-for-post folks I mentioned here would respond to my requests for comment.

Counter-point: Journalists are also at fault

Journalists should never expect money for coverage.

Yet many do.

“Lately I have worked on a number of blockchain technology pieces and I have encountered a wide variety of these asks,” said Brittany Whitmore, CEO at Exvera Communications. “A lot of the new, smaller blockchain-focused outlets seem to do a lot of pay-to-play, likely trying to capitalize on the ICO gold rush. The strangest request that I received was that the outlet would do a an article about the news for free but only if we paid them over $1,000 to promote the article with ads. I did not proceed.”

In one very detailed article on The Outline, Jon Christian explored this world and found that many writers received small sums for a single brand mention in a story, a sort of SEO flogging that rarely helps. He wrote:

An unpaid contributor to the Huffington Post, also speaking on condition of anonymity because, in his words, “I would be pretty fucked if my name got out there,” said that he has included sponsored references to brands in his articles for years, in articles on the Huffington Post and other sites, on behalf of six separate agencies. Some agencies pay him directly, he said, in amounts that can be as small as $50 or $175, but others pay him through an employee’s personal PayPal account in order to obfuscate the source of the funds. In a statement, Huffington Post said “Using the HuffPost Contributors Network to self-publish paid content violates our terms of use. Anyone we discover to be engaging in such abuse has their post removed from the site and is banned from future publication.” The Huffington Post writer also described specific brands he’d written about on behalf of one of the agencies, which ranged from a popular ride-hailing app, to a publicly-traded site for booking flights and hotels, to a large American cell phone service provider. “This is a classic example of payola,” he said of the brand mentions, invoking a term that’s been used to describe radio DJs who accept payments from record companies in order to play certain artists on the air.

Further, many influencers – folks who sell their Internet fame to the highest bidder – masquerade as journalists, asking for outrageous sums to flog an ICO on their YouTube channel or Instagram page. Pay-for-play services can also put out organic content like this in hopes of appearing in the news.

The rule of thumb? Paid posts and native advertising are not journalism. Ultimately, journalists who charge for coverage are marketers. No one at any reputable news organization will ask for cash but, sadly, there are a number of disreputable news organizations making the rounds.

ICO spamming/Don’t do it

All this still doesn’t answer the question: Should you pay-to-post?

“The short answer is no,” said Kevin Bourke of BourkePR. “I get asked all the time, and in fact, turned down another request just today. And I advise my clients to decline these offers as well.”

Pay-for-post disrupts journalism in a way that should be familiar and desirable to any modern-day entrepreneur. Middlemen are being knocked out everywhere and brands are approaching consumers from every angle including native ads in Instagram and Twitter. But the value of coverage – real coverage – from a journalists perspective is the opportunity to explain complex ideas to a ready audience. While posting a picture of a blockchain on Facebook and hoping for clicks is one strategy, explaining your views, opinions, and insights is far more important even if you approach it from a mercenary position.

“When you start paying for placement, you remove objectivity and credibility, and in my opinion, this is the reason you look for coverage of your company/products in the first place. That’s what influences readers/viewers. But I understand the temptation for startups. You come to believe that ‘all visibility is good visibility.’ I just can’t agree with that,” said Bourke. “I see the trend toward paid placements (now called sponsored content), paid awards and I can’t stand it – especially with the trade show awards in high tech. They’ve completely devalued the Best of Show awards in so many cases. Typically, only the big companies with budgets can afford them, so many of the smaller guys with no money but amazing products get left out. I understand that the publishing industry needs to figure out new revenue streams – these are very difficult times for them. But they need to figure out smarter business models and maintain the integrity of editorialized content, built on the opinions and perspectives of journalists and influencers.”

Via John Biggs https://techcrunch.com

[numberonetrashcollectorus-blog]

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Do i need to have insurance if i don't use a car?

Please tell me - do i need to have insurance when i don't use a car? I'm buying car next week but after that i'm going abroad for a month and nobody will use this car. I would like to know if i can keep car in garage for this time without insurance and buy when i go back? Maybe its comuplsory to have insurance for all time when i'm cars owner?

Can you stay on your parents' health insurance?

If you are under 26 and get a job that offers health and dental insurance, can you legally stay on your parents' health plan? Refusing does not jepordize that, correct?""

Written off car insurance?

ive recently written off my car, does my policy continue after they have paid me ? ie if i get a new car with the settlement money, can i put that on the existing policy, as there is ...show more""

What would be YOUR solution to affordable health care in America?

I work and most of my salary goes to insurance, so what would be an affordable alternative? I don't think it should be given to us by the government, but I think there should be some controls on the cost, so more people could afford it.""

What's the best dental insurance for me to get?

I have pre-existing damage (deep cavities, exposed enamel). I live in garland, Tx 75040. Pretty much im looking for dental insurance that covers pre-existing damage""

UK car insurance question?

Cheapest car insurance for 17 year old boy, 3rd party F&T. 1. Provisional licence holder 2. Full licence holder Thank you""

Fort Smith Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 72914

Fort Smith Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 72914

Avg auto insurance for 18 year old?

i just got in accident and i won't be on my parents policy anymore i used to pay 350 for 6 months and thats a full cover now i am 18 year old male who got in accident only one car was totalled and no other cars were involved so whats the avg 6 month full cover auto insurance will be? i got some quotes and i got prices from 1000-4000$ for 6 months one more thnig the car is 2007 pontiac G6

How much does car insurance cost?

How much does car insurance cost? In average?

Car Insurance?

If I take a car loan under my name, do I need to take the insurance under my name as well? Any possibility of using the insurance under my husband's name instead?""

Does an insurance company have to insure a rebuild title?

for a car that has been rebuilt does the company have to insure it?

A few questions about SR-22 Insurance?

Alright, so I'm getting slightly annoyed of the DMV as I've visited them three times already an had literally no progress made in all those lame visits... Anyways, I only got insurance so I can drive, but my car has failed smog three times now so that wont be happening and I'm now paying non-owner SR-22 insurance. Here are a few questions I have about the SR-22 and any input would be much appreciated. 1) What are the exact consequences if I choose to cancell my non-owner SR-22 insurance? I acknowledge that I will have to restart the process all over again when I want to reactivate it, but will the price be raised even more and the time frame? 2) Who do I call to find out how long I have to have SR-22 insurance; DMV or Local Court? 3) When does the SR-22 officially get activated, when the judge orders it or when I first started paying for the insurance? (I'm asking this because the insurance company I'm with is saying I shouldn't cancel because it will restart; I got the DUI 2 years ago and acitvated the insurance about 2 mounts ago.) I'm planning on going to a 4 year college so I don't want to be paying not to drive...! *I live in California if that helps you answer the question.""

What is car insurance and insurance quotes?

i'm not driving yet but i am taking driving lessons and i am just searching around for a car but i don't understand how things work. what is car insurance? why do we need it? and what are quotes? please help me!!! thank you much love xx

Am a 20 year old female how much car isurance should i pay?

i mean of course i can go on insurance companies and check it out but they take too long! i want to know how much should i pay for a 1.1 or 1.2 Corsa or cleo for my age and i have only had my licence for 2 months. whats the average/ lowest / highest should i pay? btw i know am a good and responsible driver, i don't drive to show off, i drive for my pleasure and work :) UK answers please""

Is a Pontiac Grand Am considered a sports car?

Want to know if it'll be a higher insurance cost..... Thanks. :3

Can't afford healthcare but make too much for medicaid?

I'm so frustrated with how our country handles healthcare - it should be a basic right for all citizens, not a big business. Anyway, my boyfriend and I are full-time students currently living off of student loans and not working while we are in a very demanding program. We have no health insurance and our school does not have a health clinic. My boyfriend has been having severe gastrointestinal issues that are getting increasingly worse, he fears he may have bowel cancer or some horrible disease and wants to get checked out. We looked into medicaid and found out he does not qualify b/c he has more than 2k in the bank (all loan money), but we need that money to pay rent and eat and pay tuition and books. The cheapest health insurance we can find is $150 a month and doesn't include any extra testing (like a colonoscopy, etc.) So, what does your average middle american trying to get by and go to school to become a better person do? Should we just wait until he dies? Seriously. Rapists and murderers in prison are getting better healthcare than your average family. This place sucks, I want to move to Europe. Any suggestions on how we can get him affordable or free help before he dies?""

Insurance and a car that is being stored in a garage?

I'll have my full license next March and I was thinking of if I found a car (before then) and bought it, registered it and certified it but didn't use it until March (store it in a rented garage). If I did this, could I not pay insurance until I take it onto the road (I've read I can have it SORN )? Also, if I did get insurance for it (should anything happen to it while it's in storage) would I pay less than what I would if it were on the road and if so, how much of a difference would that be?""

Why is it mandatory to buy car insurance?

I understand if it's on a leased car but why on 100% paid off private cars? Mortgage companies make borrowers buy home insurance as a condition to get the Liam but once the mortgage is paid off you're free to not insure your property. Why is it legal for insurance companies to force all car owners to buy coverage? It's not constitutional no different than forcing them to buy health insurance.

Can You Give Me Any Tips for Finding Low Cost California Medical Insurance?

Can You Give Me Any Tips for Finding Low Cost California Medical Insurance?

Can you get car insurance just for a few days?

1st time driving (well With my license) lmao, have drove be4. but i got my g1 a month ago, and bought an suv 2days ago wht i play on gettin rid of as i found at theres no way i can get it safty as it needs a weld. but i would at least like to drive it for a few days on a Trip permit, but u need insureance in order to get tht. and i was told there is a pay-by-day insurance that u can get. so i am wondering how much would insurance be for only 10days? as thts how long a trip permit is good for ps.. i live in belleville ontario""

Car insurance payments?

I'm slightly confused over my car insurance. I took out a 12 month policy in December 2008 (paid a deposit at the time) and then paid by monthly installments. I then continued this policy in December 2009. However I have now cancelled this policy as another company could provide it cheaper. But I've been told by relatives that I won't be charged my monthly fee this month (i.e my pay day tomorrow!) because I have already paid the full amount for the 2 years. Is this correct?

""Okay so sent off for my provisional license and thinking about cars and insurance now, just need a little help?""

Okay so I'm 16, turning 17 very soon and going to start driing lessons soon, but I need a car after that and I'm going to have to pay the majority of the insurance and the car myself. I only have a part time job where I work thursday evening and saturday mornings at like 6.00 an hour. What car is a good car for a person my age, what about insurance for that car how much is that going to cost? Overall what would you say is the total amount I should save up in order to get a car and decent insurance? Thanks :)""

Health Insurance for diabetics?

If i were to get health insurance and then marry my girlfrind (who at the moment is pregnant) do you think that she would be able to get on my insurance even though she has a pre-existing condition of type 1 diabetes? She can not get her own insurance because of it, only if her work provides and her work does not and the job market is still rocky. So what would we have to do to get her insured?""

Auto Insurance Experts: How much will I be penalized for lapsed insurance due to non-payment (I'm unemployed)?

I have been without insurance for nearly a month now. I have been unemployed for 5 months, but I will start a new job next week! Yay! Since I will start working soon, I will be able to afford to pay again. My car will also be paid off next month. I plan to go with a new company. (I do not have loyalty to the current company.) I used to have a well-known national company for years. When I first lapsed six months ago, my long-time company DOUBLED my monthly premium. I went for a low-budget, local company. Will the new company force me to pay for the time I did not have insurance? Or will I face a penalty? Will they charge me a higher rate? **Believe me, I know that I am taking a terrible risk driving around without insurance. I know that it is illegal...but I have been unemployed for 5 months, and have used the little money I had to pay rent, utilities, my car, groceries for me and 3 kids. I just had no other choice... I just want to be prepared for fees, higher rates, penalties, etc. Can you please give me some advice and suggestions on how to get myself back on track? Thanks.""

AXA Equitable Life Insurance?

anyone have Equitable as their insurance company? Comments? Also, can anyone tell me about the Flexible Premium Universal Life Insurance Plan? THANKS!""

Classic Car Insurance?

I am 23 years old and I have a '76 Camaro and Im looking to find classic car insurance. I have applied to various places and they say they can not cover me because I am under 25. I have an '06 mustang I drive for daily use and my current insurance on that does not have special classic car insurance. I do not want to pay over $40 a month for a car I will drive maybe once a week if even that. I am trying to restore it so sometimes I will not be driving it for months at a time. Does anyone know of a good classic/ antique car insurance that will cover someone under 25 years of age? Thank you!

Best Health Insurance for Veteran and dependents?

I'm a soldier getting ready to get Honorably Discharged in the next couple months. I have a wife and 2 kids, that have constant doctor visits. What are some Insurance companies ...show more""

""By looking at these charts, can you understand why the U.S. needed health insurance reform?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html

Insurance on motorcycle ?

It would be a Kawasaki ninja zx6r it is a 2006 and 600 cc engine.. I am 16 and live in northwestern Pennsylvania... I would get minimum coverage.. I would also be adding on to my dads car insurance plan and I would be getting a 20% discount for good driver etc. About how much do you think the insurance on it would be?thanks

Cheating on motor insurance claim?

HI All, my relative incidentally hint the few new motors in in a motor shop which selling new motor. The standing motors fall down each and another. It only cause few scratches on the motors cover, but the boss asking big replacement cost. So, my relative decide to make report for insurance claim. By the time waiting for police to take picture, the shop owner and his worker bring out the hammer and hammering motor for further damage, I guess they want to make some money beside claim to insurance company. Luckily I had took some picture on the slightly damage motors before the police. The question is where should I send the slightly damage on motors photo? The police don't border about the picture that I had, they had the serious damage on motors picture. Can we do further damage on our vehicle if accident happen to have more claim? Like damage on car bumper during accident, and we damage the signal light on our own to have new one, since we can claim to insurance? Summit the photo to insurance adjuster is just a waste because they are close to motor shop. What can we do?? Any advise? Thanks""

What is the cheapest van to insure?

Ive just passed me test (finally, at 21) and i havent had a car or van insurance quote under 1900.... The cheapest ive had is a peugeot partner pre yr 2000, even smaller fiestas and ka vans are 2000+ are there any vans out there at prices that arent gonna cost me 190 a month""

Can I get private insurance with a van?

Hello Yahoo, I was interested in buying a bedford rascal for my first car however I've been doing some research and talked to a few people and they tell me if I buy a van then I'll probably have to buy commercial insurance with it- is this really true? Can I not have it strictly for private use? And finally, If I really do need to buy commercial insurance with it, will it cost a lot more than private insurance, and whats the pros and cons of commercial insurance over private insurance? VAN OWNERS! HELP!""

Fort Smith Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 72914

Fort Smith Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 72914

Help with insurance claim on exotic sports car?

My car ---an exotic sports model--- was damaged in a parking lot collision tonight. (My car was parked and struck by a guy who wasn't looking ahead.) Even if a 100% repair can be effected, the value of the car will be forever diminished because of the car's blemished history. People who buy these cars simply will not pay top dollar if the history shows any sort of collision repair. Of course the other guy's insurance is not going to want to give me an extra few grand to cover my eventual loss. What can I do to be covered? Would I have to sue for something like that? (Or CAN I, or SHOULD I...) As it is, I think my car loses AT LEAST $5,000, maybe $10,000 at resale (even with a perfect repair).""

Why does auto insurance rates go up after manditory insurance laws pass?

the insurance companies promise that passing these laws would always lower them

What is individual and family health insurance?

I am planning to have family health insurance in these days but I want to understand the basic difference between individual and family health insurance.

Will my insurance go up?

will my insurance go up if i got a speeding ticket. i just got a speeding ticket almost doing 20 miles over the speed limit so i am worrying if it will effect my insurance or not and i have two accidents on it too. should i do the class or pay the ticket off?

Does auto insurance cover a person to drive someone elses car? ?

My boyfriend says he is covered to drive my car because he has insurance on his car & vise versa - that I can drive his car because my car has insurance. This makes no sense to me. Its like saying I am covered to drive my next door neighbors high end luxury sport SUV because I have insurance on my POS used sedan. I even asked him - So I would be covered to drive any car, of any american in the whole country because I have car insurance? He said, yes! Can someone please explain to him how this makes no sense? Or tell me that I'm wrong and why?""

How much will it cost to insure my car?

My cars is a 1987 Vauxhall Astra mk2/Opel Kadett E wagon, with a 1.2 litre engine, developing 80 horsepower. When it gets insured I'll be 17. How much will this cost annually in the UK? Also, the car is left hand drive.""

""Car Insurance, i passed my Drving test yesterday,Insurance Premiums?""

I live in Manchester(longsight), passed test yesterday, age:17...,can anyone plz tell me that how much will be the insurance premium for me(new driver), i asked from some of the insurers and most of them told that my insurance premium will be at least 2000. is it? Can any one tell me about some cheap insurance company who's price is 1000 or near about. Thanks.""

My car was wrecked and the insurance company paid to have it fixed. Now they have found something they missed?

After paying out around 12,000 to fix my car (body damage only, but new car so everything came from factory) we found out there is something else that needs to be fixed and because the car is so new and they don't make parts for it, whole transmission needs to be replaced, even though nothing it actually wrong with it. Now insurance wants to total my car. I have gap coverage and want to know my options if i would like to keep my car and have transmission fixed myself. At first insurance told me they would pay off car, I keep it and get settlement money, then they told me no settlement money, but I would get to keep car with salvage title and it would be paid off, now they are saying they r trying to make sure I can keep it at minimal cost to me . The lien holder says if the insurance pays it off, they (lien holder) will not allow me to keep the car. If the insurance pays for it, isn't it their option to allow me to keep the car or not? What are my options?""

""Help selling a car to an Italian, Insurance problems.?

I have just sold my car to an Italian and he now wants to drive the car to Italy. He's been told he can't insure a car that isn't registered in Italy and my Insurance company can't help. How can he get Insurance for the Journey? What other pitfalls can we expect?

Who's Car Insurance Would Handle the Accident?

My sister has been driving my mother's car (Loan, registration, insurance in my mother's name) Occasionally she allows her boyfriend to drive the car, although my mother has stated on numerous occasions that she does not want him driving that car. He was in an accident on Friday and claims the car is totaled. He claims that he called the police and filed a report, it can be picked up on Tuesday. He also claims that his insurance is covering the accident. My problem is, the car is insured in my mother's name, so he is not allowed to do this, correct? Also, even though my mother was not involved in the accident, can she still call the police and get a copy of the report? After all, the car is in her name. Please enlighten me, I'm trying to figure this all out.""

""Why is it wrong to require people to have auto insurance, but not health insurance?""

And, for that matter, wouldn't we pay less for auto insurance if the government provided it at cost as a single payer, squeezing out all the profits and returning the savings back to you?""

My teenage sons car insurance premium?

i did a quote and the cheapest is 6334? how can they charge so much, his friend got a quote on a similar car for 854? any tips?""

Do you need insurance if you only have temporary tags?

I was wondering if you need insurance if you have temporary tags in Ohio, and if you do, what's the cheapest insurance company for male teens?""

Where do I get low rate insurance in Toronto?

I am 56 and clean driver. My daughter is 25 and new driver.Which company can give me a better low rate insurance in Toronto?

Is $$ 785.00 a year to much for Full-Coverage car Insurance ?

It's A.A.A. Insurance. My Honda car is 10 years old. With just 84,500 miles on it. --------------------------- (Such Low Milage cause I only drive 450 miles to 500 miles per month.)""

How auto insurance works in california?

i backed up into a car today and there is no damage to my car but a dent in the others hood, and i said lets call the police and they said lets just exchange information, i said no i'd rather have them come...they said they called when i was getting something in my car and said the police said they would take a while so we decided to exchange info...i got her license but they said they didnt have the insurance info with them....but in the mean time i gave them my info...now i have a feeling that maybe they didnt have insurance and there is no police report so what can happen now?""

Inexspensive insurance for a first time under 21 car buyer?

I'm 18, plan on purchasing a car soon. Honestly, which car I purchase is based off my monthly insurance payment. Im young & back in November I recieved my first speeding ticket, I paid it instead of going to court.. Worst choice ever. Anyways, Does anybody know good cheap insurance for a driver like myself? Below are a list of cars that are on my list.. 1. 2004 BMW 745LI 2. 2002-2003 BMW M3 3. 2004-2005 Audi A8L 4. 2007 Jeep Wrangler (4-Door) Please help. Thanks!""

Why is my car insurance so high?

my car insurance is very high its something like 5000-10,000 and plus its only third party and the car is cheap 500 fiat punto ive checked confused several times still same prices""

Insurance on a car lease?

My insurance guy gave me below basic coverage on a lease which requires something like 100,000/300,000/100,000 but he did basic full coverage(something cheaper like 10/20/10) In the contract it states i must have 100/300/100 as the requirement but the insurance guy who does insurance for a lot of people says lower coverage should work. I just added it on and it's fine, so the insurance (progressive) sent me a letter saying I have to pay extra for adding a 3rd vehicle but nothing about the coverage amount. Will they later require I add more coverage? I don't see why I need 300k on a car that costs only 40 grand. people drive around with PIP 10/20/10 and that's good enough for the state. I have an excellent driving record with 0 accidents and have been driving for about 10 years. I realize I have ****ty insurance but insurance is a huge rip off so I want to spend as little as possible and deal with accidents out of my own pocket.""

Shouldn't Pres. Obama step up to the plate and tell them he just wants affordable insurance for all now?

Tell em to screw the lobbyists, so what if the health care lobbyists payed the House and Senate members over $500 million last year, I mean donated that much to them. They will have to wait, but people are dying now..""

Average house insurance in Canada?

What is the average amount of money you pay in house insurance in Canada? It would be nice if you have a site link, because this is for a school project. Also, how much do ...show more""

17 year old car insurance help?!? Modification!?

Just got a Nissan micra 1.2 10 year old, insurance quotes cheapest is 2700 with a parent as a named driver, how can I get this Down and I wanted to add some mods""

Becoming car insured in Ontario?

Recently I just acquired my G2. I am an almost-17 year old male, and I wanted to try to clear up a few questions about insurance before going to get some quotes. Firstly, would it be possible for me to have my own separate policy? With my own car - that's how my dad wants it apparently... I know it would be expensive..but I would probably end up choosing only liability coverage. Secondly, would it be possible to somehow prove to the insurance company that I am more responsible than the average stereotypical 17 year old male in hopes of lowering insurance? For example, can high school marks play a factor? I've heard about something like this, although I don't know if it applies to our provincial policies. I know the other factors, such as having a 4 door used sedan, in-class driving course etc. can also help lower the cost. All help is appreciated, thanks!""

How much does insurance go up with a teen getting his license?

the teen will get his license on march. dependig on insurance cost. he will be 16 and with be driving a 2003 to 2005 honda accord. auto. how much would insurance go up on the year policy. oh he also gets very good grades.

How much would insurance be on a 2005 Maserati Quattroporte for a 19 year old?

Clean driving record, driving for 3 years. Dads buying it but insurance will probably be mostly me, curious as to how much it would actually be?""

Fort Smith Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 72914

Fort Smith Arkansas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 72914

What do car insurance investigators do?

My fiancee is an excluded driver on my car ins. He was driving my vehicle one day and got into a very small 'fender bender'. His fault. Barely bumped the lady. When she filed a claim, my insurance called me. Well of course I tried to convince them that i was driving the vehicle, but they don't believe me. My own car insurance. Aren't they supposed to be behind you and not the other driver? But anyway, he said SINCE he doesnt believe me, he's going to get insurance fraud investigators to do some investigating. The woman's car isnt worth but $900 blue book value. The fix of her bumper cost $1600. I'm not understanding why this is a big deal. I get that I'm trying to cover myself and have ins cover it, and lying about it, so please don't scold me for that. I'm just trying to get advice on this, and what i should do NOW. I'm not sure if the whole investigation thing is a joke, or something serious. Also, if i were to turn around and tell them that my fiancee was really driving, what would they do now that I've lied? Does car ins go on your credit if they drop you? HELP!""

Questions About Car Insurance?

I'm trying to see how much would car insurance be for me and my fiancee. She's 20 and I'm 21 both in college. I will be a first time driver and she had hee license for a couple of years and we live in the State of New York. How does insurance work? What's the best company for this? Thanks and God Bless!

How much would the insurance be?

I'm a 17 year old male wanting to get full coverage on a 2006 Supercharged Cobalt SS. It's a coupe, silver, standard, and has a 2.0 liter supercharged engine. Does anybody know how much full coverage would be for me in this car?""

Can u keep a car in a garage without it having insurance?

I'm getting a car this weekend. It is taxed but I won't be able to afford the insurance stright away, what can I do??? I'm 18 and haven't passed my driving test yet. Any help welcome, thanks""

Insurance related question to a 1987 5.7L IROCZ?

Hello I am 17 years old and have saved up enough money to buy a 1987 IROC-Z with 350TPI, 140K. Now when I purchased the vehicle a year ago I could afford to insure it but was to young to drive. I was supposed to get my G2 permit in August. I've already prepared it for the road for the but I am in Ontario and the driving strike is still going on. And to top that off, insurance companies raised their prices! I can no long afford to insure the car when spring rolls around. My mom made a good good...why not insure the car under HER name at a DIFFERENT insurance company, and put me as a secondary driver? That way I can enjoy the great prices and hell I bet she can have some fun driving this car. The car would not be insured itself, it will only be insured incase I hit someone and damage them. Would this affect her insurance rate at her other main company( 2 cars,house,boat)? Thanks!""

How important is having health insurance in usa and why?

Why health insurance has more importance in usa ?Is it mandated in usa?what are the differences in insurance when compared with India?

How much would car insurance cost for a 16 year old?

I'm 15, and I am thinking about paying for my own car insurance next year to help my parents out. I was wondering how much it would cost per month given the facts that I am a guy, and I was thinking about buying a used 2005 or 2007 Mustang for my first car. How much would is cost per month for my circumstances?""

How much for cheap car insurance?

I am a young 17 year old female. I am looking for insurance so i can get my 1993 Lincoln Towncar on the road but I dont know a thing about insurance how much do you think it will cost and which company should I go for.

How much does a 16 year old usually make per month?

If you are working a job 40 hours a week and making 8 dollars per hour how much would you earn in a month deducting taxes and car insurance?

Insurance for low income disabled person?

I only make $7.14/hr at my job, got cut from my old insurance due to no longer being able to afford it, I have a learning disabilty and have no medical insurance to go to the doctors. What are some good affordable/free insurance for low income families?""

I want the best quotes for health insurance to compare with other insurance company?

I want the best quotes for health insurance to compare with other insurance company.

How much is health insurance in arizona?

How much is health insurance in arizona?

Is it hard to get on Insurance with no income?

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow due to a car wreck that happened last year. I have been experiencing a lot of pain. I was just wondering, Would it be hard for me to get on Insurance at 20 years old with no income (Due to the wreck and how much pain I'm actually In).""

Teens what kind of idiot buys a car with no Insurance?

Oh and this person that did this was black. White people will insure everything because they git money AM I RIGHT?

Insurance write off question?

My car has recently been declared an insurance write off, basically a young guy (17) pulled out of a side road T-Bone ing me, causing me to be pushed into a tree, all the under body of my car was twisted and it would cost more to repair than the car is worth. The problem is my car isn't worth anything ( Peugeot 206). Someone is going to phone me tomorrow to discuss a settlement figure, I'd like 2k, (I paid 4k) 2.5 years ago for it. How much am I likely to get as an insurance write off, bearing in mind the other driver had admitted full liability and blame. It was a 2005 Peugeot 206 with 70k miles, one previous owner with a recent mot ( 2 weeks ago) also I've just paid for 12 months tax ( last month) can I reclaim this somehow? Thank You As for the other driver. I spoke to the police office who attended the scene and he went to his house yesterday to interview him, apparently he can do him for dangerous driving and give him points, as he was 17 I bet he will get caned on his insurance renewal, which is some comfort I guess :)""

Mortgage company wants us to pay hazard insurance premium up front?

I am getting an FHA home loan. My mortgage company sent me a good faith estimate stating that my hazard insurance premium will be included in closing costs, but that I will also be paying a monthly hazard insurance payment, the same goes for the mortgage insurance. They are also wanting us to put $591 into hazard insurance reserves. What is this all about? Is this normal? I was pretty positive that when you got insurance you just paid your premium monthly, not up front and then monthly also? Help me understand what is going on here.""

Do you have to pay motorcycle insurance all year round?

or just during the summer?

What is the most affordable health insurance in NYC?

My friend doesn't have health insurance and is planning on putting his new baby (born around Oct.) on his policy with him. He's Latin American and has his permanent residence card, but is not yet a citizen. Anyone know of any affordable plans for him to look into in the Manhattan area?""

Getting car insurance if your parents do not drive?

I'm 16 and I just received my license. My older brother gave me his car when he moved to L.A (he'll be driving a company car). The only problem is getting insurance. My mother has never been a driver and therefore does not have a policy of her own. Most insurance companies that we've contacted say that unless you're 18, the insurance has to go in your parents name. Does anyone know how a teenager can have a car insurance policy put in their name?""

""Under Obamacare, can I switch insurance companies anytime I want?""

I live in California and started new health insurance with Blue Shield on January 1, 2014. But they are awful. Even though I not only applied with them, I was accepted by them, I paid the January premium back in December, and they have already covered two of my prescriptions. But Blue Shield keeps mailing me letters saying I never paid them anything and that they are cancelling my application. My application? I made it past that stage. I am their client, not just an applicant. I can't get an answer from them and I'm worried that as of 1/28/14 I will no longer have health insurance (since that is the date they informed my on 1/24 that they are cancelling my application). So since Blue Shield thinks that I'm not even their client, that they think I never paid them the very first premium which I did and have proof of, can I ditch them and choose a new insurance company or do I have to wait for the next open enrollment? (And when would that be?) (FYI - Blue Shield has never mailed me a bill for February. They just keep mailing me the same bill that was due - and that I paid!!! - back in December that covered me for January.)""

Can a Canadian Citizen buy car insurance in America and how?

Is it possible for a canadian citizen to buy car insurance in america, if so, how does he do that? My brother lives in america and I live in canada, I want to get car insurance from America as it is cheaper. Is that possible and is it legal?""

License and Insurance?

Well, I got my license nearly seven months ago. I am sixteen turning seventeen in about four/five months. I don't have my own car yet so I've been driving my parent's cars if I need to. I am now looking to buy a car for summer and such, but my parents want me to do some research before we make any final decisions. So, I was wondering if anyone could give me an average or general idea on how much our insurance would go up once I buy a car?""

How much would my insurance be for an rsx 2003?

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[thebrandtag]

Be Careful when you need escort in Dubai via /r/dubai

Be Careful when you need escort in Dubai

<p>r/dubai </p>

<p>WARNING to all tourists, foreigners and ever residents who seek escort services in Dubai from Craigslist, Backpage or Twitter.</p>

<p>u/throwawaydxbwarningOct 22, 2015, 1:01 AM</p>

<p>GUYS read this very carefully and think twice before even contacting an escort in Dubai.</p>

<p>UPDATE: Alright, so some SP’s manifested themselves through PMs saying that this thread will seriously damage their business and my guess here is that those are the reliable ones and not the fakers. I hope I’m right. If so is the case, why don’t you follow a method used in North America and some South East Asian countries where you actually take a photo of yourself, not necessarily naked, but at last one that can corroborate your features with you holding a paper with the current date and nickname on it CLEARLY WRITTEN so that people know you’re not fake and make sure you update the date written on the paper quite frequently. This will root out a major part of the problem here.</p>

<p>Now back to the matter at hand.</p>

<p>1st incident: About a month ago, someone conveyed to me upon his return from Dubai that he called what seemed to be a lovely WHITE CAUCASIAN British young woman communicating with a British accent. She answered him and they agreed on the details. Once he arrived there, he noticed something was off but decided to go anyways. Door opens and the lady is hiding behind the door. He goes in and she turns out to be an African lady. He refuses and attempts to leave. She holds him physically and asks him to give her the money. A lot of pushing and shoving ensues and she rips his shirt wide open. She was desperately trying to get her hands in his pockets and snatch the money. He was finally able to push her but his arms were all scratched and he was slightly bleeding in certain places.</p>

<p>2nd incident: Another classic, SAME MODUS-OPERANDI, a co-worker went to Dubai and again, nice hot American Latino lady communicating with an American accent. He shows up there, I think he said it was in a classy area, Marina I guess. Door opens, she is behind the door. He barely steps in and she a very fat African with fake blond hair. He tries to get out and she grabs him. They physically fight, she’s half naked and she threatens to scream in the hallway and pretend to call the police. He was a big guy and quite fit so he had no problem pushing her away but she managed to damage his cloth.</p>

<p>3rd incident: This is one is a CLASSY scam someone told me via email after he posted a rant on Craigslist Dubai about how frustrating it has become to find a reliable person and how CL has become a scam jungle. His story has to do with a Twitter scam though. Check this out guys, especially those who are Arabic speaking. He says he wanted to try an authentic Arab escort, so after thoroughly researching, he noticed that most Arab ladies are reachable via Twitter. He is of Arab decent so he speaks the language. He sends the lady a message and she explains it’s 1500AED for a full night (from 9pm to 3am in the morning). She asks for 500AED advance in the form of Etisalat prepaid card. After giving her the card via Twitter, she blocks him. He opens another Twitter account and contacts her, she says she’s sorry and that she blocked him by mistake because she’s overwhelmed by guys who are not serious and didn’t know how to unblock him. They agree to meet at 9pm at Emirates Mall. She then tells him that it’s not nice and shameful to take the 1000 from him in public and that it would be better to if he got the rest of the money in Etisalat cards and gave them to her right then. He senses a scam so he refuses but apparently she was brilliant at arguing with him but still does not budge. He asks her for her phone number so he could talk to her and verify over the phone. She refuses and argues the reason why she can’t. Anyhow, he ends up making a mistake and gives her his phone number so she could call him. She then she switches to nasty bitch mode and starts threatening him that he wasted her time and that she could have had one client at least by now and therefore she wants her money otherwise she’s going to the police with her story and that she’s got powerful friends and they will hunt him down. He blocks her, deletes both twitter accounts and dumps the phone line.</p>

<p>Now obviously there are some reliable escorts in Dubai but they are extremely difficult to find and the fact that there’s no review forum does not help things at all.</p>

<p>So being someone that travels frequently to Dubai and I do care about the safety of others and the reputation of a city that I like, here are some important things to bear in mind if you are going to call an escort.</p>

<p>1- Do not call or contact via Whatsapp unless you have double checked the photos in the CL or BP ad on tineye.com or google reverse image to make sure that the photos are not stolen from other websites. It’s not a 100% reliable method if employed on it’s own, but it will help root out 90% of the scammers.</p>

<p>2- Do not accept communication by Whatsapp only. Request a phone call to hear and question them. If they say they’re from Italy, ask her questions try to pretend you speak Italian etc.</p>

<p>3- Avoid having your profile picture on your Whatsapp account when you contact one. Don’t use you home country Whatsapp, use an Etisalat prepaid and activate Whatsapp on it.</p>

<p>4- Do not accept to go anywhere or have her come to you unless she sends you a live photo with her holding a paper with some personalized inscription written on it. Face photo is not a must but at least so you can see the skin color and body shape. If they refuse or try talking you out of it, DON’T GO. You’re the customer, she has to comply with your demands.</p>

<p>5- Before knocking on the door, examine the floor and memorize the exit stairs, elevators are not a reliable choice if she’s grabbing you. There could be two of them, be careful!</p>

<p>6- If everything has checked out to be OK so far and you are at her doorstep, DO NOT GO IN, I repeat DO - NOT - GO - IN until she shows her face and body. Keep a distance from the door. If she insists that you come in and refuses to show herself, RUN. It’s not worth it.</p>

<p>7- Do not keep anything valuable on you. Take only your money and hid it in your socks.</p>

<p>8- If she catches up with you or grabs you, don’t be afraid to show hostility and fight back. If she threatens to call police don’t chicken out, she won’t do it and she can’t do it even if she pretends to. Those African ladies are all illegals and there residencies are expired.</p>

<p>9- Don’t be afraid of her threats or that she will shout or accuse you of rape. Again, she can’t and she will not for the same reasons mentioned in the previous point.</p>

<p>10- AVOID ALL THIS TOGETHER BY KEEPING YOUR JOHNNY IN YOUR PANTS and wait till you go back home. You are better protected in your home country and usually know your territory better. If you’re a resident and you get the urge, be patient and try to find someone reliable by applying what is mentioned previously. Don’t rush, examine the ads, reverse check the photos, call the lady, speak to her, ask her for proof etc.</p>

<p>11- If you REALLY want to have sex with a hooker you could, you know, just meet one of of the thousands of hookers in any one of the hundreds of bars across the city? courtesy of DownRUpLYB</p>

<p>I hope this will help. Be safe guys and don’t put yourself in a bad situation. Dubai is an international city and they cannot weed out all the rotten ones. To the tourists, enjoy your trip to Dubai.</p>

<p>85 Comments</p>

<p>u/halfbaked_zed</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:42 AM</p>

<p>I am a black escort with a fake golden wig and I find this offensive.</p>

<p>u/throwawaydxbwarning</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:55 AM</p>

<p>I’m sincerely sorry for that. I live in the west and I’m not entirely Caucasian myself. I live in a society that has put all racial arguments behind its back decades ago so please don’t take it personally and think that I’m playing any racial card here. I’m just stating the facts. If it was a caucasian white woman, I would have mentioned it equally. However the matter of the fact is that both guys had the exact same experience with African women. Please enlighten me as to how I should put it so it would not be offensive. I did specify “African” and I honestly don’t see any other way to identify them. If I knew they were Nigerians, Ugandans or so on, I would have mentioned it. As for the wig, again, both stated the same fact so I had to include it and it was not meant as a derogatory term at all.</p>

<p>u/greenleaf187</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 2:00 AM</p>

<p>whoosh</p>

<p>u/halfbaked_zed</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:58 AM</p>

<p>But we also want love and money, is it my fault that when I post my real pictures, I don’t get responses on CL. Hence, I had to do this. I am sorry, but I had to.</p>

<p>Also, I can show you my valid residency permit.</p>

<p>And we don’t try to attack anyone, we just want some cuddles and hugs. We are just a bit aggressive about getting them, that is all.</p>

<p>u/[deleted]</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:08 AM</p>

<p>Okay.</p>

<p>u/Safwanish</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:24 AM</p>

<p>that’s all I could think as well after thoroughly reading each word on this thread.</p>

<p>u/[deleted]</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:09 AM</p>

<p>There’s a word to describe your ‘friends’ - gullible.</p>

<p>u/SuchWowReddit</p>

<p>•</p>

<p>Oct 22, 2015, 1:32 AM</p>

<p>haram</p>

<p>View more comments</p>

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