#if every second of every day i must bare even the deepest essence of my soul to you; i cannot and can never be free

[the-breloominati]

was looking through some of my older art and found smth im actually pretty proud of

uhhhhhh dont mind the spine I know its not the best

also decided to mess around with some filters here :3

[yuujism]

Next life (ryomen sukuna x reader)

| PAIRINGS: ryomen sukuna x gn!reader

| WARNINGS: just lil mentions of blood, lil suggestive, kinda angsty? lil violent, grammar errors

| WORD COUNT: 1,012

A/N: so sukuna was making me feel some kinda way thanks to that anon who talked about sukuna and favourites so i decided to write something about him and maybe this trope is kinda overdone but u know what? idc! i’m tired of pretending sukuna isn’t sexy and a demon and the way he could have a favoeuite !! so yea anyway hope you enjoy!! just had to write about him today damn 😔✋

You were his favourite.

Out of all the hordes of people he could have at his disposal, Sukuna found something in you that just invited him to get closer and closer. Like fire. Calling him to get warm but at the same time fight the temptation of touching the hot essence that was your soul.

Sukuna still remembers the first time he saw you as if it was yesterday; facing down at your feet with fear as the priests you once thought were God’s right hand were pushing you to the Devil’s grip. Submit and survive, that’s what they said.

Submit and survive for the greater good of the village.

You didn’t know if you wanted to be angry and scream with impotence or take a chance to run away as fast as you could when Sukuna didn’t even spare you a glance, let alone a comment. But your will to live with dignity was stronger than your ego and all the unworthy people in your village. You had a new goal. 

Be invisible. Don’t let the King of Curses know of your existence. Become less than nothing under his scornful gaze and survive to get your revenge on the heads of the village.

And that’s what you thought you were doing right the first few weeks until Sukuna himself handpicked you among the rest of his followers desperate to get his attention. How? It’s still a mystery to this day but you weren’t going to become another corpse by him.

Sukuna really enjoyed the way you still had fight in you even after hours of him holding you against your will. You were feisty and he could feel the hatred inside you but, surprisingly enough, it wasn’t against him. At least not all of it. 

Interesting.

No way in hell he was going to give up now that you had something he wanted to know, to possess. And day after day, Sukuna tried to break you in many ways, watching as the barrier that protected your essence broke little by little every time he barely touched your skin, red eyes studying you with something you couldn’t describe.

Nothing was better than taming a wild beast into submission.

Because the day you finally gave up to your deepest desires after fighting them –fighting yourself– you let Sukuna taint every single part of your soul with his lewd touch and mouths. But figure towering over you as if his shadow was meant to consume you since the beginning.

And when Sukuna finally marked you, a black line adorning your neck and wrists to become his and only his as you moaned his name like a prayer, that’s when you became his favourite. 

You just took him so good Sukuna became addicted, keeping you all to himself next to him almost in fear of someone stealing you from him. 

Sukuna adored you. From the way your body was so used to him by now it was almost in auto pilot, to the way you still bit back at him at every chance you got. He was totally infatuated by you and it was no secret to the jealous eyes of his followers.

But the hatred was still there. Your hunger of revenge bigger than your adoration for the King of Curses (if such feeling even existed), the fight within you never dying down even when you had all the privileges you could have. However, it wasn’t Sukuna’s fault, no. You just really wanted to kill those priests who cover the atrocious meaning of his gatherings under a mask of faith.

You would do anything.

The feeling of Sukuna’s fingertips traced your arm as you laid down next to him after bedding you was making you feel tranquil, something you thought you had forgotten a long time ago. The warmth emanating from his naked body behind you that you grew accustomed to and the feeling of his fangs sinking into your shoulder from time to time.

This would’ve been nice if it wasn’t all a lie. A prison keeping you from your destiny.

Your eyes landed on your marked wrists that matched with his and you knew that the moment was close. It didn’t matter anymore.

~

  “You fool.” Sukuna’s whisper came to your ears as a low echo, his two pairs of red eyes looking at you from shove with sorrow as a sly smirk covered his face, contradicting himself. 

It all felt it happened in a matter of seconds: the usual fighting and the usual angry sex before you admitted you were leaving, even if he didn’t want to, even if he had to kill you. You weren’t going to stop.

You expected every reaction except the sharp pain that invaded your body from the core of your chest. 

You looked down with a blurry sight only to be met with his hand piercing right through your heart, blood spattering on the ground as you turned your head to look at Sukuna behind you. But you weren’t strong enough, falling to your knees as his arms wrapped around you and your mind started to shut down.

Pathetic. You were pathetic.

A bitter smile creeped up your face as you kept getting lost into those same red eyes, matching the small droplets of your blood in his face. 

“All you had to do was listen to me, little human. I gave you everything.”

Your eyes started to feel heavy and, even at this state, you could feel the anger flowing within you because of his words; you wanted to spit on him.

“Couldn’t let you go just like that. You are my favourite.” 

Sukuna’s deep voice started feeling further away as you finally gave up to the inevitable. But, if something more existed out there, you were sure you would never forget his words and what you could think was a hint of a tear on his eye or an illusion from the tears in your own.

“I will meet you in your next life. You’re never getting away from me. Even if I must kill you a thousand times. You’re mine. Always mine.”

[writerinthedark]

The Scream Of a Banshee

A/N: This is just the first part of a story I am thinking of writing. If you like this story please like and comment. If I get a positive response I will continue the story.

Word Count: 1632

Ship: Parish and Y/N

Moving around was always difficult, having to adjust all over again. In all the time I have spent moving, I never found a home. I never made friends and always was alone. I knew this time would most likely travel the same path. My parent's work has taken us to a small town in Beacon Hills, California. If it weren’t for the fact we were moving here I would have never known Beacon Hills existed. My parents said this would be our last move for a long time. All I could do was hope that their word was true, I don’t think I could make another move. Pulling up to the new house I was hit with a feeling I could only describe as the essence of death. My heartfelt like it was being weighed down. Something terrible was going to happen and It was going to be big. I would get feelings like this sometimes and it was so little I barely caught it, but this felt like those feelings turned to the max. Why was that? Why did I get these feelings? I was knocked out of my thoughts when my side of the car door opened, I took that as a sign to start bringing my stuff into the house. The exterior of the house was a light sand color with white molding around the trim of the sides, it looked just like all the others in the neighborhood. I quickly worked on getting all my belongings to my room so I could relax a little before the first day of my new high school. It did not take to long with the few belongings I owned. I never kept much knowing I would just move and unpack again. The night was coming to a close, slowly we all worked our way towards our separate rooms. Once arriving at my room I started getting ready for bed while brushing my teeth I was hit with a strong wave of pain. It was like my stomach was ripped to shreds. It took all my strength to not scream out, but as soon as the pain had come it had stopped. Forgetting about what had just happened, I made my way to my bed and crawled under the soft covers. As I lay in the warm covers sleep quickly enveloped me, helping me forget all that had to happen today. 

I woke with a start, pain shooting all through my body. It was like my blood was boiling, It was almost unbearable. Then it happened, someone was screaming at the top of their lungs. I forgot about all my pain and bolted to the door, I was going to find and help whoever screamed. Sprinting down the stairs I was met with the most gruesome sight I had ever seen. There lied my parents covered in blood, gashes covered their bodies. I did the only thing I knew how to do I screamed. All the windows shattered and I still kept screaming, I screamed until I could not scream anymore. I felt as my vision went black and my legs gave out beneath me. Little did I know my scream was heard far and wide, I had wakened up half the town including a boy named Scott Mccall. As I slowly regained conscious I was expecting to be met with the sun shining through my windows, but I was met with a hospital room. It all rushed back to me, my parents bloody on the floor lifeless. I was knocked out of the memory by a police officer, touching my cheeks I realize I must have been crying without knowing. Looking back at the officer I was met with the most shocking green eyes, they were filled with concern. “Excuse me miss, would you be willing to answer some questions about last night?” I could muster enough to nod. “Did your parents have any enemy’s?” He asked, his tone was soft and not demanding. “N-no I don’t believe they did, we never stayed in one place long enough for them to have any.” “Were you there when It happened?” All that came out was a cracked sob, I nodded my head signaling to the cop I was. He came over from the chair he was seated in and started rubbing my back to calm me down, what am I going to do. “I have no clue what I am going to do, I have no other family to take me, I have no home.” I looked up at the officer's eyes blurry. “Shh, lay down and get some rest we will figure it out.” His eyes are the only thing that convinced me everything was going to be ok, His eyes had no hint of lies in them. Nodding, I lay my head down and fell asleep with him rubbing my back.        Blood all I see is the blood, their pale ghostly skin, the long jagged wounds littering the body. I am reliving the nightmare over again, I just want it to stop. It is like the pressure in my skull is too much all my emotions stabbing my head. I wake screaming, the nice officer is rushing over to me. I can tell he is about to ask a question, but I don’t want to talk. I abruptly hug him needing support, At first, he is stiff but he slowly relaxes into the hug and hugs me back. We stay there for I don’t know how long just hugging, he gives me the only thing I need at that moment, support. After a few more seconds, I back away. “Thank you,” I say looking down at my feet. All he does is smile with the whitest teeth I have ever seen. “Don’t worry about It, My name is Parrish If you need anything just give me a call.” Handing me his business card he gets up to leave before he can get full out the door I ask. “What time is it?” “7:40, why?” he questions. “Uh, can you take me to school after I find some clothes?” “Y/N, there is no need to go to school you have been excused from classes.” He is saying it like it is a good thing, It is not. School is the only place I have that will distract me, I can’t, not go. “No I need to go, I can’t stay here,” I say my eyes tearing up. “ It is the only thing I have to distract me. It is the only thing that will keep me semi-okay.” I can see he does not like the idea, I can see how he is having an inner battle right now. “Fine, but as soon as you get off school I will pick you up and bring you to the police department to figure things out.” His face is stern as he says this, he is serious. I nod signaling my acceptance, He tells me to stay while he goes to get the stuff I told him to get from my room. After about 30 minutes he returns sporting my backpack slung over his shoulder. Walking over, he places my backpack on the chair nearest to me and tells me he will be outside when I ready. After finishing changing and preparing for the day, I set off to go find a parish. As I exit my room door I notice a large crack running through the window. That was odd, I did not think much of it and kept moving forward. Walking into the reception of the hospital, I was greeted with the sight of Parish holding two bags of food. At the noticing of my arrival, he drops a bag of food in my hands, signaling our time to go he shows me towards the exit. The parking lot is not too crowded, only a few spaces on this side are full. We start walking to the police car, It is right by the front where we exited the hospital.          The drive to my new school was quick, as it was the only high school in the town. Driving up, the school was already busy. Teens were walking every which way, heading to their different destinations. Pulling up to the curb, I quickly gathered my stuff for the day. I try to quickly get out trying to not make eye contact with deputy Parrish. After opening the door, I immediately lock with the deepest blue eyes I have ever seen. His hair dirty blonde, a short scruff to match his hair. Breaking eyes contact I shuffle to get the door shut. I could have sworn his eyes flashed red for a quick second. I quickly brush it off as my mind playing games with me.       Opening the door I am met with the hungry energy of high school. Every kid trying to act cool, be popular. I never saw the point. There was nothing special about me, so why bother even trying. _______________________________________________

     At the beginning of 2 years ago, Scott's life had dramatically changed. He was bitten by a werewolf. It was the craziest experience ever. He was having to deal with alpha packs and full moons. It wreaked havoc on his life. His grades were dropping, he had to lie to his mother. He never thought things would ever get back to normal. After a while, he knew it never would, but he was able to get it as close as possible. Slowly after a while, it got better. His grades picked back up, there was no disaster happening for once. He was finally able to enjoy high school. Till last night, he had never heard such a scream. It was a scream that curdled the blood.

[binaryemotions]

Yule

A shadowy enigma.

One without a face, or a form.

Just the shape of a man, tall and burly.

No light from within.

No other form of soul.

Just a scaly arm, and the smell of pitch.

He wandered my dreams.

He looked at me when I slept.

I smell the burning hatred he harbored.

I couldn’t see him however.

I didn’t want to see him.

The visage, blackened and dark in the deepest part of my sleep.

It began to walk around.

It was in my room.

The corner of my room, it stood staring.

It stood, gazing at me.

Yet I never knew what it had done in my day life.

Yet it followed me to wherever I went.

It followed me to school.

It followed me home.

It was in my hallways.

And I still didn’t want to see it.

Even with how apparent it was.

That black hooded figure.

Tormenting me with that blackened scaly arm it had.

It was its left arm, all jagged and dragon-like.

Like the seven crowns.

Like the cursed Styx.

It was maddening.

I couldn���t bare it any longer.

The way it’d stare and follow. Without a sound or a single footstep.

How this heartless being followed me around, knowing what it was doing to me.

One night, I finally had the courage. I slept, almost like a coma.

I finally pulled together the essence of the Emperor and called to it.

I screamed at it, and told it to leave me alone.

I wanted to live in a peaceful life and be rid of this gripping darkness.

But, it wasn’t that figure this time. It felt like the dark. How it took me by the neck so suddenly.

And I couldn't wake up, no matter how I squirmed.

No matter how I kicked. Even my screams were halted and lost in the air.

But

I could hear a faint voice off in the distance.

In the black abyss that I’d call my soul, I heard my own voice calling to me.

I called back, even though it was weakly and forced with all my strength, and heard the voice come closer. I kept screaming and pleading in the darkness.

I kept reaching out towards something. Anything. While that voice inched closer to me,

My own voice, eventually echoed next to me.

As I stood, calling out to my own voice, I saw that figure again.

Standing. In the darkness.

Now it was silent, and not a single heartbeat sounded.

I stared at the figure, mute from the gripping sensation, and wondered for a second. Why is it this cloaked figure came before me as my voice came closer?

I hated it. I hated the way it just stared at me, not even giving me any peace of mind.

The darkness from it practically radiated. Yet as I stood, face to face with the fears of myself in this dive to the heart, I saw a violet aura coming from it.

A deep purple, shimmering like an outline, coming from this figure.

The figure, reached its arm out, all scaly and clad in what looked like dragon scales, and beckoned me.

My hatred grew more, my eyes clouded with tears and my heart heaviest of all,

So, in my deep darkened slumber, I reached back. I beckoned to the black figure myself. I clawed back to it, as its hand grew closer to me.

The hand was waving me in, calling me to it closer and closer with every grasp I did towards it.

I felt my heart falling and taking a plunge deep down into the pits of heavy lead and blood.

My body was swamped with all these indescribable emotions.

I didn’t know what I was feeling. I had nothing in my head but everything in my heart.

I cried, and I wailed like a child. Then, then I finally grasped its hand. I grabbed the scaly hand that this shadowy figure reached to me.

I gripped harder than ever as I felt my body rise up. The darkness around me, slowly fading away into a forest covered in snow.

The forest wasn’t cold though, and I felt the ground beneath my feet as the enigma’s violet aura pulsated and shimmered.

And from that shadow, spawned a being that I hold close to my heart. His eyes, deep violet, and hair a pure white. The blackened scaly arm traveled up to a body clad in armor and white cloth, like a paladin.

On his back, a giant great sword anchored. It shined like a brilliant silver that gleamed in the pure forest. The handle and blade, crossed like a crucifix.

The chain mail, woven together so tightly, protected the heart of a hero. Yet when I looked at him, he was a mirror. I saw myself, deep with determination, and bravery. But faintly, lightning had emitted from him in his light. The shadows corrupted not a single part.

To this image I said “What kind of lie is this?” And him, to me; “No lie, but a deeper appreciation of your beautiful heart. Mislead, and astray your mind is, but you’ve a heart of gold.”

And his name, will forever ring true in my head. No matter what conundrum, no matter what I may come to, his name is engraved into my heart.

He leads me to where I must go, and leads me to the way of healing.

Through his miracles, and his holy sword, he brings the sun to my world.

The lightning his sword drops, forever a symbol of his status as a true king of Gods.

And although his arm is scaly, much like the Seven crowned beast, it shows true power.

Yule, the Thundering King of Purity.

[alexius-fr]

Home

@jollyroger-fr @fusefr @littleshroomclan @alliance-fr @unkorea @lindwur-fr @webwingalpha (if you wanna be pinged/unpinged please let me know!)

---

Each step in this forest stirred something inside of him.

He'd removed his steel clawed gloves to avoid getting moss and grass stuck in the joints, but still it was so quiet that every move he made was loud and obnoxious in comparison. He knew he was being watched, though not by what- or who- yet.

He'd been travelling for days, following mostly his gut. He had only stories to go after. Stories of how they found him, surrounded by a mythical green glow, the wounds healing before their eyes. There was not a soul about, if he were to believe the tales. It was a shame he remembered nothing of the encounter with the strange powers. And even if he did, he couldn't have told anyone. Ever since the incident, he'd been unable to speak.  

His life before, he remembered perfectly however. Power thrust upon him from the moment of his hatching. Never getting the chance to be young, to be carefree like his littermates. He'd made only one choice of his own in that life, and that was to leave it behind. To prove he was more than just his birthright. How naive he had been. He'd been ambushed for his expensive belongings after two days of travel, the bandits leaving him for dead on the forests' edge.

All his life he had ran from what might have been. Returning home was not an option, but now, for the first time in his life, he had a chance to do what his heart told him to do. And that was to find the source of the strange power that saved his life that day.

A twig snapped under a heavy claw and he froze.

A low growl and a flash of yellow in the thicket made him recoil, but he wasn't fast enough to escape the giant dragon who pounced him out of the shadows, ferocious like a wolf leaping for it's prey. Giant claws grabbed him and a mouth full of sharp teeth grabbed his neck, rolling him onto the ground.

A giant Ridgeback towered over him as she held him pinned to the ground. Her nostrils flared and her spines rose as she roared down at him, shaking his very foundation. He fought against her grip, but her long nails quickly changed his mind, digging through his skin with every move he made, sharp like swords.

“Why you here?!” she hissed, in the deepest, most threatening voice.

He couldn't have replied even if she didn't have one of her claws resting on his throat, so he shook his head in a panic, trying to push her off.

“Speak!” she demanded, baring her teeth and weighing down harder on him. His struggling was useless, he couldn't overpower her. He'd never met a Ridgeback this large and powerful.

The Ridgeback had obviously reached the end of her patience and she roared again, with unbridled fury. How could he make her understand he couldn't reply to her demands? In a desperate attempt to make her understand, he tried to roar back, his mouth opening wide but no sound emerging from his throat.

She looked at him strangely. Like she was trying to figure out what he was doing. He made a couple of gestures that he'd learned, signing that he could not speak. He was still new at this however, and it seemed she only grew more annoyed.

“You mock Chomp?!” she growled.

He quickly shook his head, but it was too late. The Ridgeback picked him up with one claw and tossed him aside. He was dazed for a second and blinked hard to regain his vision, knowing he couldn't sit still and wait for her to attack again. He was overwhelmed by her strenght. What Ridgeback could claim they could pick up an entire Imperial and toss him around like he weighed no more than a piece of paper?!

He was only just in time to jump away from a next pounce, sliding out from under Chomp with unexpected agility. She needed little time to recover from the missed hit, continuing her movement and chasing after him. He wanted to flee, but Chomp was so much larger and faster than him, he couldn't -

He tripped as he ran, a giant log hooking his hind leg and making him stumble over. In a flash she was on him, big maw opened and ready to strike. He closed his eyes and curled up in a defensive ball by instinct.

But instead of the expected mauling, something heavy landed right between them, the airstream swept up the leaves of the forest floor, smelling of wet ground and freshly cut grass.

“Enough!”

He knew that voice. He looked up from his frightened position and saw another Ridgeback blocking Chomp's path. He was clad in the very essence of the forest, his leafed mantle seeming to move with an unfelt wind.

“I protect!” Chomp protested.

“At ease, Chomp. This one means no harm.” the other Ridgeback replied. He demanded her retreat with little more than his body language, and surprisingly, Chomp backed out of her aggressive stance.

“I'm sorry about that, my friend.” the other Ridgeback turned to him and smiled. It were the same eyes that he'd seen that fateful night. “They call me Mythos. What is your name?” Mythos asked as Chomp sulked in the background, her eyes still trained on him. 

Deep olive eyes looked at him intently when he signed that he could not speak, and he mouthed his name. Sylvus.

“Sylvus.” Mythos nodded. “I know you.”

“What?” Chomp frowned.

“He's no threat. Come friend, you must have travelled a long way. Our lair is not far, you must rest.” Mythos said, as Sylvus rose to his feet.

“Please do not mind Chomp's rough greeting. She was only trying to protect me.” Mythos smiled as he started leading the way. Chomp huffed and her tail swept from side to side with annoyance as she followed Mythos.

“You too trusting.” she protested.

“If I am, you seem able to handle him.” Mythos simply argued.

“Yes. Puny, small Imperial. No match for Chomp.” Chomp agreed.

“Then we'll just wait and see, won't we?” Mythos smiled kindly, the forest seeming to open a path for him as they walked. Sylvus stayed close, despite Chomp's threatening look. He wanted to ask what they had to wait for and see, but Mythos merely gestured for him to go ahead and step onto the beginning of the path he'd created.

Sylvus nodded and stepped onto the path, a beautiful natural stone path unveiling itself before his eyes, the thicket parting and granting access to a grand, if old and decrepit temple. He could feel the history here, the sense of family and an ancient power. Even in this state, the temple breathed life. 

Sylvus must've looked awed because Mythos chuckled.

“Welcome home.” he said, nudging him along gently. Sylvus couldn't help his watery eyes or his giddy smile. A feeling of belonging overwhelmed him. It hadn't all been for nothing.

“Pssht. Lucky.” Chomp rolled her eyes as she passed him. “You come to me for training, yes? Make you less puny. Is least you can do to protect home.”

Sylvus just nodded, too awestruck to even argue.

He was finally home.

[rauliskafan]

The Essence of Error

Author’s Note: Happy Monday!!! @vintagemichelle91 and I were so thrilled by your response to the first part of out new story!!! So what happens in the wake of an unexpected kiss? Read on to find out!!!

          He never should have kissed her. Not that he didn’t crave contact with another pair of lips. A mouth working its way around something that was not an insult at his expense. And her mouth claimed one of the few parts of his flesh undamaged by maniacs and machinations. She tasted like the night doused in sparkling grapes; if he narrowed his gaze her eyes were almost enough to intoxicate his every sense. But when she slipped away from his tongue, her kiss grazing his stubble, he gave into the instincts of every morning spent staring in the mirror before he could cover his flaws with paste and powder.

           And he flinched.

           “Dr. Chilton?”

           The woman pulled away, her eyes seemingly seeing nothing but his scar and he grunted as he turned on his heel.

           “Bad luck for you not to receive a kiss at midnight,” he muttered.

           “Can’t that cut both ways?”

           He focused on the swan like slope of her neck resting below the chignon atop her head.

           “It could,” he started. His mind wandered to what she must look like under the gold of her garment. Creamy white curves leading to legs without end. In days gone by he paid for the privilege of seeing such a body in a state of undress. Money was never an object; now it was little more than an afterthought.

           But when her fingers trailed up his chest, threatening to loosen his tie along with the rest of his carefully assembled armor, he pictured her reeling. Not in horror; something about her was far too composed for such a pedestrian move. No; the likes of her would simply back away and he’d watch her depart in a wave of shadows melting into the crowd and rendering him invisible. Which was worse than a scream. And no number of bestselling books could ever right that wrong or the lot that was his ruined body.

           “But it won’t,” he stated firmly, the cold crawling up his spine. Let him leave first; let him win that much of the night and he moved as quickly as a cripple could crawl with the assistive device hanging from his hand like a third leg.

           “Dr. Chilton?”

           He long fingers surrounded his cane.

           “Do not touch me like that,” he murmured.

           “Touch you?” she questioned as she stepped around to face him. Stray strands of her hair graced her bare shoulders. Would that he could touch her. Fall into her. Tear the dress from her frame with his false teeth and have her under the midnight moon.

           No. A woman like her was not for sale.

           “I see I must be more specific,” he said. “Do not touch any aspect of my… infirmity.”

           He wished that his words sounded stronger. Had she been anyone else… another colleague coveting his career on a kind of an upswing, he might have used the cane to trip said soul in their tracks and feign innocence. That was the fantasy of a little boy sent to languish in one boarding school after another, places where his silver tongue only offered so much protection. Now he tread that same stage with some semblance of power at his back. Let him be the bully. Hadn’t he earned the right to play the role?

           Not with this woman. He had no wish to harm her.

           Only to get away.

           “Forgive me, Dr. Chilton,” she said. “You did not strike me as so sensitive.”

           So much for being the sheep wearing the garb of a wolf; he was always doomed to live life as the cliché in reverse and he wanted to vanish into thin air as her delicate palm captured his free hand.

           “This is goodnight then?” she asked.

           It could never be anything else.

           “And good luck,” he whispered. “Not that you will need it.”

           “What exactly do you mean by---?”

           Her voice seemed to catch in his hair as her nails cut into the shirt still stained with wine. As well as his sweat. Jerking to free himself from her hold, Frederick felt the fabric tear before he heard the sound.

           “My God,” she said.

           Now there was concealing the deformity he could keep under lock and key or at least linens and tie pins. His first scar. Sometimes it struck him that he was nothing but the ugly red mark, a slash scabbed over that somehow learned to talk and sneer and write books to put people in their proper places. Now she would scream; the screech swimming up the throat he still hungered to kiss seemed inevitable.

           “No wonder you’re so touchy,” she said as her hands flew to her hair.

           “But I told you that I would prefer if you did not---”

           “Figure of speech,” she said. “Do you take everything in this life so literally?”

           He didn’t have a chance to answer as she pulled a series of pins from her bun, binding the place where she had shredded and sullied his dress shirt. One second seemed to stretch from the length of his scar down to the Inner Harbor just beginning to burst with fireworks, but she made quick work of her poor man’s attempt at playing a tailor in an evening gown and stopped short of buttoning his jacket over her handiwork.

           Because he stopped here with his fingers, suddenly strong.

           “No jests?” he challenged. “You obviously have eyes in your head.”

           “Is that a slam on me knocking into you?” she asked as she lifted her porcelain face to meet his stare.

           “I was referring to the rather unpleasant scar lining my chest.”

           See her dance around this. Perhaps she’d make a show of nonchalance seasoned with bravery. But it was horrifying. He, in the right or rather the wrong light, was more akin to a monster than the man from his pages who’d singed songbirds as a starter before serving up legs wrapped in lotus leaves.

           “Oh that,” she said as she buttoned him up so no one could see his scarlet mark worlds away from a letter and moved back to her drink. “It’s nothing.”

           “What makes you able to say that?” he asked, a part of him desperately wanting to work out the riddle.

           “Because my brother decided to take a stroll along the route of a light rail. Do you have any idea how many of his scars never had a chance to heal over?”

           She downed the rest of her drink, and it was as if a phantom string tugged him back to her side. Unable to meet her eyes, they stared down at the street teeming with crowds, the blare of horns circling them where they stood.

           “I do not,” he finally confessed as her hand met her shoulder. How was she so warm despite the frost coating the air? Every part of his body that had turned to ice and seemed destined to remain numb. Except for the place where his hand knew nothing but her, and he held his breath as she looked to him again.

           “I thought as much,” she said. “A man like you only regards trains as toys.”

           “That was rude,” he said.

           “I am not apologizing for it.”

            No more words. A woman as good as her vow?  She stayed at his side as he met her eyes and swallowed hard.

           “But you are not running away.”

           “No.”  

           Hanging her head, she dipped her hand into her clutch and revealed a slim card.

           “What is this?” he asked.

           “My office is in Mount Vernon,” she said. “Come around some time.”

           “Shall I consider this a formal invitation?”

           When she nodded, his thoughts raced. She wanted to have him for lunch. Or possibly just have him away from the possibility of prying eyes. How would it look? A sleek metal table serving as a desk? He imagined taking her on the stainless-steel surface… no. There would be a couch, a place for patients to lounge and divulge their deepest, darkest secrets. Let him know her there, sinking into the plush cushions. Let him lose his coat, his shirt, the ties that always felt as if they were surrogates for a hangman’s noose. No threat of pain for either one of them. Well… unless she wanted---

           “My schedule is filling up fast,” she said. “Ask Dr. Du Maurier.”

           “Thank you but I would rather not.”

           “Then don’t,” she said as she slipped the card into his breast pocket, her hands making a final pass at the pins keeping his scar at bay. “But I would love to---”

           He was ready for his lips on her mouth once more, even ready for her kiss to uncover his original scar, a kind of a sin, when she patted his chest and pushed her fallen hair behind her ears.

           “I’d love the chance to probe the mind of a man who kisses a woman after just learning her name.”

           She started to abandon him with the faintest of smiles when he used his cane to block her path. But not to trip her… not to hurt her…

           “That is the pot labeling the kettle,” he said.

           “You should call the color black, Dr. Chilton. After all, I found you here on a dark night.”

           He had no retort as she straightened his tie and stroked his cheek… his injured cheek.

           “But do come around some time,” she continued. “You have secrets to share.”

           Watching her go, he felt his legs, his cane ready to give out from under him when she glanced back and fixed him with a single look from her smoky brown eyes.

           “As do I.”  

The Essence of Timing

[nemesis-nexus]

AVÈ MARDUK! AVÈ SATANÌ! Great Father who fought on our behalf and triumphed over the destructive tirade of Tiamat, hear us! There is so much going on around the world and there are so many around the world that don’t have even the bare essentials either due to extreme poverty or because their part of the world was turned upside down by the hurricanes or earthquakes, that we need to be grateful for all the things we have and never take anything for granted! That being said I would like to share on this Mabon/Autumnal Equinox all that for which I am grateful: 1) First and foremost I am grateful to my Deity for helping me to find my path, I admit it took a while to figure it out and there were many obstacles I had to overcome, but at the end of the day I understand why it was necessary. It needed to happen this way so that not only would I have an actual appreciation for everything I gained through my personal trials, including wisdom and insight, but so that I would see the world with eyes unclouded, meaning that I would accept the truth no matter how much it might hurt. Part of this is accepting any situation – especially personal situations – for what they are and to not deny it out of a misguided sense of loyalty or duty. One of the harshest lessons that lead to being able to do this was seeing people for who they are and to stop helping those who don’t deserve it! Unfortunately this can apply to family as much as friends and co-workers. One thing a person needs to keep in mind is that there is a huge difference between trying to help someone who is being resistant because they might have issues in their past that makes it hard for them to trust anyone and someone who takes both you and EVERYTHING you do for them for granted! The first may be dismissive because they aren't used to ANYONE giving a damn, the second has become so accustomed to others doing things FOR them that they don't bother doing anything for themselves or they continuously ask you for favors and get mad if you say no! There are those that will never accept your help no matter how sincere you are and then there are those that will not only accept your help but will milk it for all they can until such time as you cut them off, in both cases you have to let them go and move on! 2) I am grateful for my Family both Blood and Spiritual. There are two forms of Family, our Blood Family whom we are connected to on the deepest level there is and our Spiritual Family with whom we share a common Path and Belief. We may not always agree with our Blood Family on everything especially religion, but we will go through the fire for them! Our Spiritual Family are the ones who offer us the kind of support that repairs most past damage that has been inflicted by those we have met all along the road called life and as such we in turn are able to help others through their difficult times. I am grateful for both because I know who I am and where I came from due to my Blood and that is a privilege that many people are denied! I am grateful for my Spiritual Family because not only do we share a common bond through our beliefs but we also stand together regardless of where we come from or where we are going! 3) I am grateful for my Friends online and offline. There are people that we meet in life who stay with us no matter what happens and these people may be physically present or they may be communicated with via the internet. While we may be able to hang out with our offline friends, go to the movies, have private conversations that can’t be hacked and go through the motions of life, our online friends are also a source of support especially in a social media forum where it can get so bad that it’s literally a free for all where there are no punches pulled. Online friends are also in many cases the only people that some have to talk to either because a person is deathly shy or because they need to talk to someone about something they feel they can’t speak to anyone in their immediate area about out of fear something may be overheard or that they might be betrayed by that person. In essence online friends are something of a safe harbor because when we are in dire straits and there is no one else around to talk to, we can go online and talk to them. We must ALWAYS however be very careful who we trust because online friends CAN be a double edge sword, because unlike offline we can never be certain who we are talking to at first, however as time goes on and we become more and more familiar we can usually tell who is legit and who isn’t. Sad to say but people we know offline can be even shadier than those we meet online. It’s all a matter of paying attention and never taking anything at face value. I am grateful to my offline friends because I have people I am able to physically be with and confide in and I am grateful to my online friends because no matter where I am (for example on a train for 24 hours) I always have people to talk to! I am MOST grateful for those who start out as online friends and eventually become offline friends and in some cases Spiritual Family! Nobody crosses our paths for no reason, they are either there to become someone of importance to us personally or they are there to be a lesson to remind us that not everyone who enters our lives should be trusted and as such are not meant to stay. 4) I am grateful for my Temple as well as each and every member in it. When I formed the Temple of the Eternal Dragon, it came on the heels of a VERY stressful time where I had to make a choice; either continue to be used by an ungrateful man child who felt he was entitled to have other people do his work for him while he took the credit and simultaneously disrespected me behind closed doors every chance he got, or lead by example and show the congregation that I had told many times to never be afraid to walk away from a bad situation and an equally toxic person. I chose the latter and when I did that bad situation got even worse because not only was I accused of ruining the church while I was still running it, after I left I was accused of being a member of a terrorist group that exploited children and people were told to not trust me. There was so much more vitriolic and hateful things said but you get the idea. When I formed the TotED I vowed to not bring the drama into it and to also NEVER “recruit” member or otherwise bribe people into joining by offering automatic ordainments just for joining. In my opinion ANY rank or titled NOT EARNED is not only superficial, it is completely meaningless! Ordainments should ONLY be offered if a person has demonstrated knowledge of the Path itself, the ability to think for themselves and not be lead by the nose and also has been a member of the Path long enough to prove their loyalty and that they are NOT just getting ordained because they can! There are too many people who claim all sorts of ranks and titles yet they have NO background in the Path and they don’t know anything other than what was dictated to them AFTER they joined the organization! Mind you we all start somewhere and there is nothing wrong with learning about the Path after you join an organization, the problem is when the ONLY knowledge you possess is what is dictated to you and you demonstrate absolutely NO desire to learn anything else. This is dangerous because ALL cult leaders rely on their members to rely SOLELY on what they are told and to NEVER look things up for themselves. This shows a clear lack of personal application and NO ONE who lacks the desire to take part in their education or Spiritual awareness should ever be ordained because they have no more to offer someone else than the one who dictated copy and paste garbage had to offer them. In fact a person in that position stands to be more of a hindrance to someone else’s Spiritual growth and personal evolution than anything else. Not only this, but a person who cannot think for themselves or do their own research is someone who stands to MISREPRESENT the Deity rather than uphold his honor! This is an insult to the Deity primarily but also to the individual themselves as it insinuates that they are unable to stand on their own without the man behind the curtain feeding them their lines! Our Deity created us to be able to stand together or alone, whichever the situation calls for, he NEVER intended for us to ever become so dependent on another person that we are unable to function without them or to ever be so easily won over with empty titles and meaningless ranks that we would be willing to claim belief in something ONLY to hold said meaningless rank and titles! There are few things I have and will ever ask from those looking to join or are currently in my Temple; one is that you join of your own accord as you will not be given anything except respect and support by myself as well as resources to begin your own personal journey on the Path. Your connection to the Deity is your own, I cannot make it for you and despite what you may hear from other groups NO AMOUNT of contract writing in blood or any other medium will establish this connection. You need to approach the Deity with respect and humbleness. Satan is not a genie, he does not grant wishes and if the ONLY reason you are looking to become a Satanist is to try to sell your soul for money or power then do us ALL a favor and find another Path. Also despite what you have heard in other groups Satan is also NOT a demon nor is he the “King of Demons” this is another insult as he is the one who banished the demons from this realm so that the human race could flourish without the threat of the more dangerous ones constantly overshadowing them. The idea that he is a demon was created by the Abrahamic religions, therefore to perpetuate this falsehood is to say that you are in fact still a follower of the Abrahamic religions! This is a hard pill for many to swallow because they are so conditioned to believe this that some refuse to believe any differently. It is neither my job nor my inclination to convince anyone otherwise, however, it IS my discretion to not allow this misguided belief into my Temple! Two is that you are respectful of the other members keeping in mind that while you may possess advanced knowledge or at the very least MORE knowledge than some, that there are others who are just starting out and therefore there is no such thing as a stupid question. I would rather have someone ask me a question that has been asked 10,000 times before so that THEY know the answer than EVER have a member who is to afraid of retaliation in the form of harassment or flaming to even pose it in the first place! A person who is denied access to the same knowledge everyone else possesses is a person who will never know more than they previously did and that doesn’t help ANYONE trying to advance on their Path! Remember we ALL had our “first day” and we knew just as much then as the newbies know now, so for all intents and purposes we are not above them when it comes to following the Path! Three is that you do NOT mindlessly attack ANYONE else regardless of their faith. If a person wants to be a Christian, Buddhist or Pastafarian that is entirely at THEIR discretion NOT YOURS and you have no more right or business to mock them than they do to mock us! If you emulate the behavior of your so called enemy then you are really no better than your so called enemy! Keep in mind if you want Satanism to be respected as a religion or Path then you need to ACT like you do! Also whenever you are out and about keep in mind that it is NOT just you or this Temple that you are representing when you talk to people, it is the Deity himself and if you behave in a manner that reflects THEIR preconceived notions as to what Satanism is about or how Satanists behave then all you are doing is proving THEM right! Words can never express fully how grateful I am to those who joined in the beginning - especially those who followed me from my old church - and stayed no matter how much drama was going on at the time! There was plenty of it and although I kept it out of my Temple pages I know that some people were in fact contacted via PM, I know this because you contacted me to let me know and THAT demonstrate a level of mutual respect that speaks volumes! I am grateful that the members of this Temple continue to stand unified against such unscrupulous and useless frauds such as the Atheist cult and their disreputable ilk! I am grateful that this Temple is 2.5 years strong with no signs of slowing down! I am grateful that people continue to join every day and while not everyone sticks around I take pride in the fact that they came in the first place! It shows that they were curious enough to want to know more and even though they decided this wasn’t for them, they could have just dismissed me completely as someone not worth their time! 5) I am grateful that I was able to travel to Europe because I had the opportunity to see another part of the world and meet many new people in the process! I always wanted to go to Amsterdam and even though my friend and I were almost abducted and sold into sexual slavery – I WISH I was only joking about this - my time there was well spent! We walked all over the city, took a ride around the canal, saw lots of old architecture, checked out a couple museums and had a lot of fun generally speaking! Germany was a trip too especially Cologne where an old church which now serves as a library is SO domineering that it TOWERS over the train station that sits right next to it! Again lots of beautiful architecture and I loved the waterfront, we ended up missing the last tour boat (booo) but I found the water to be very relaxing despite there being a ton of people all over the place! Brussels was intriguing, more awesome architecture of course, but what REALLY made me stop and do a double take is the fact that they don’t believe in traffic lights of any kind! They also don’t believe in crosswalks or crossing signals so if you need to get to the other side of the street, you need to wait for an opening in the traffic then literally grab your ass with both hands and RUN! I am grateful that a lifelong wish came true and I thank Marduk every day for the experience! Generous Father Marduk, there is so much more I am grateful for but at the end of the day but I think the thing I am most grateful for, aside from the afore mentioned, is that no matter how arduous the road that led me here has been, I kept moving forward and because I did I found my way to my and even though new challenges arise every day in various forms, I know we will NEVER back up, we will NEVER back down! We will NEVER give up! We will NEVER give in! That so long as you are by my side, I can handle anything! It is my fervent hope that I convey all the lessons I have learned through my own experiences to every member of the Temple of the Eternal Dragon so that they may glean a little something from them and even avoid certain situations altogether so as to not have to go through what I did! I would like to take this opportunity to say a resounding THANK YOU to the members of the Temple of the Eternal Dragon, to my Sister Cindy who has helped me and continues to help me with various aspects of my Path, to my Blood Family for putting up with me, to my Spiritual Family for their continued support, to my Friends online and off for not abandoning me and especially to my Blessed and Most Exalted Father Satan for showing me the way and for helping me to remain strong during the very worst of times – THANK YOU ALL! HAVE A MAGICKAL MABON AND A VERY BLESSED AUTUMN EQUINOX! “Sometimes in our lives We all have pain We all have sorrow But if we are wise We know that there's always tomorrow Lean on me When you're not strong And I'll be your friend (I'll be your friend) I'll help you carry on (lean on me) For it won't be long 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on Please swallow your pride If I have things you need to borrow For no one can fill Those of your needs That you won't let show Lean on me When you're not strong And I'll be your friend (I'll be your friend) I'll help you carry on (lean on me) For it won't be long 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on So just call on me brother, when you need a hand We all need somebody to lean on I just might have a problem that you'd understand We all need somebody to lean on Lean on me When you're not strong (when you're not strong) And I'll be your friend (I'll be your friend) I'll help you carry on (lean on me) For, said, it won't be long (won't be too long) 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on We be jammin' We be jammin' (hey now) We be jammin' We be jammin' We be jammin' We be jammin' We be jammin' (hey) We be jammin' (just call me) uh, when you need a friend (call me) oh, baby now (call me) uh, when you need a friend (call me) oh, baby now (call me) uh, when you need a friend (call me) oh, baby now.. -Club Nouveau (“Lean On Me”)” ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA! MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE! Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una! Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In Diabolus Nomen Nos Fides! AVE SATANÍ! (We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER! Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In Satan's Name We Trust! HAIL SATAN!) Ave URURU! Ave EA! Ave DIMUZI! Ave ININNI! Ave GILGAMESH! Ave ENKIDU! Ave TIAMAT! Ave ABSU! Ave MARDUK! Ave SARPANITUM! Ave SATANÍ! HAIL SATAN! HPS Meg “Nemesis Nexus” Prentiss