#if camila really is leaving i’ll probably bounce too

[rosehathawhey]

Jake listening to all of Julie’s shit talking about Gabi is making me so angry. In a town full of people riding around on high horses, Julie’s is definitely the highest.

I saw spoilers that Jake isn’t Stefan and fine whatever that’s a mistake but it is what it is. But if Jake doesn’t get his shit together and realize Gabi is the baddest bitch in Salem and he would be blessed to have her love I’m gonna riot.

[jawnjendes]

bonus: prettiest girl at the party | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: this aint the sequel yet, its just a little extra bit, a flashback if you will. and it includes a NAME REVEAL. oh and the end kind of hints to whats gonna be going on in “season 2″ of this fic :)

**let me know if u wanna be added to the taglist

masterlist

“Those shoes remind me of the time we first met,” Shawn said, nodding down to the huge black platforms on my feet.

I was at least five inches taller in these fashionable death traps. My feet were aching and blistering whether I was sitting or standing because of the plastic material, but it was all for the look. Shawn may have been taller than me despite this, but I felt more powerful and confident. He had his eyes on me from the moment he saw me tonight, so damaging my feet may have been worth it. However, I was confused by his statement.

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t wear these bricks to the coffee shop,” I replied.

“No, not that time,” he told me. “It was a little bit before that.”

“What?”

~

It’s one thing to be caught in the middle of a walk of shame the morning after said shameful events. It was something else to be caught in this walk only fifteen minutes after the fact. Shawn had clearly lost track of time, checking his watch before fixing the collar of his shirt and ruffling his hair back into place. The elevator doors opened to the dorm lobby, and Brian was standing on the other side, probably waiting to go up.

At least it was Brian. He always knew that Shawn was either in class, at work, in the studio, or "visiting" a friend. He didn’t judge, unlike other friends. Camila always asked Shawn when he was going to tie himself down to a proper relationship. She knew what he really wanted deep down.

Shawn had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

“Just tell me it wasn’t who we’re about to go visit right now,” Brian said, stepping into the elevator next to his friend.

“Who? Camila?” Shawn asked, resisting the urge to laugh out loud. “No way!”

“We’re not going to Camila’s,” Brian reminded him. “We’re going to her friend’s dorm. She’s got a Switch and booze.”

The doors opened to the second floor of the building. Brian led the way to the right room, and just as the approached the door to B24, Camila turned the corner from the end of the corridor.

She smiled wide and greeted the two boys. “Hey! We’re right on time!” She was about to knock on the door, but Brian quickly grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“What’s your friend’s name again?”

“Her name is Stella Martinez. And don’t grab me,” Camila replied pointedly as she harshly pulled her arm away. Her brown eyes trailed over to Shawn. “You might wanna fix your shirt. The buttons are mixed up. And I hope that’s lipstick on your neck.”

Shawn’s cheeks flushed as his hand went up to the crook of his neck. Just as Camila had said, there was something there. He felt the slimey, glossy substance under his fingers and then rubbed it away. Looking down at his white shirt, he found that two of the buttons in the middle had gone missing. He totally did not know how that happened.

Finally, Camila knocked on the door, and answered the famous Stella Martinez. Although, she answered the door a little too fast, like she had been waiting on the other side. "Hi guys! I'm so glad you guys made it!" She hugged all three of them, despite never having met Brian and Shawn before.

Actually, Shawn knew her… barely. He met Stella through Camila only once, when she had crashed their chorus class and pretended to sing along with everyone else. All he remembered was that she could carry a tune.

The dorm looked and felt like an apartment, it was very big for only one person. Shawn himself didn’t live on campus, but he knew not all of the dorms were as spacious as this one. It was almost as big as his apartment, plenty of light would come in if it wasn’t for the thick curtains on the windows.

Stella happily invited Shawn, Brian, and Camila onto the couch and then she dashed into the kitchen, her light brown hair bouncing behind her.

“Is your place this cool?” Brian asked Camila. So he had been thinking about it too.

“Not even. I’m in the other college,” she said. “First years get jack shit. Stella's a second year with a fuck ton of credits, so she got priority in choosing classes and living space."

Stella returned from the kitchen holding four open Corona bottles. She placed them all on the coffee table and the other three reached for their own bottles. Stella sat down on the floor facing them.

“Oh, here,” Shawn said, immediately standing up and gesturing to his seat.

Normally, there was a minor “no, you’re the guest” debate, but Stella wasn’t one for that. She happily sat next to Camila, so Shawn sat on the floor leaning against the arm of the couch. He noticed a random object on the table, a black and teal something… like a Swiss army knife. Interesting choice for a centerpiece.

“So,” Brian spoke up after a while, “where’s the Switch?”

“Oh yeah!” Stella exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “I’ll be right back!”

The way she moved and carried herself was almost spastic. Stella was clearly very excited to have guests over, and what she lacked in height was made up for in her energy. Shawn had a feeling he would probably adore her by the end of the night.

He watched her go up to one of the bedroom doors, and that was when her energy faltered a little bit. She knocked almost timidly and then went inside the room.

“Does she have a roommate?” Shawn asked the other two. Surely he couldn’t have been the only one to notice the lack of other life in the vicinity.

“Yeah, she does,” Camila replied. “I don’t know her, though. She doesn’t leave her room that much, from what Stella tells me.”

Her words were immediately contradicted as a new girl came out of the room. She was holding a rectangular dock, 2 cords, and a grey Nintendo Switch. Stella followed after her, and the two separate energies became very apparent in the room, and it wasn’t just from their appearances.

Stella had a bounce in her step and a ghost of a smile permanently on her face. She was dressed for guests, in her red blouse and ripped blue jeans. Her hair was in a neat braid, and her perfume was strong, but also inviting. She was very easy to approach and get along with. You could tell you would end up being friends with her in just a few short minutes.

The roommate radiated something else. Not only was she in a torn and tattered Rise Against t-shirt and tiny black shorts, she also had the most neutral, borderline scowl on her face. She greeted the three guests on the couch with a nod of her head when Stella introduced them. She didn’t say anything more as she leaned down to plug the dock into the back of the TV, her long, dark hair covering her face. She looked like someone you did not want to cross. She could probably kill you with one glare, and it wasn’t just from the amount of eyeliner she had on.

Stella and her roommate were obviously very different. So guess which of the two girls Shawn felt inexplicable attraction to.

It was probably the legs. While this mysterious roommate wasn't the tallest person in the room (taller than Stella, at least), she had some killer legs coming out of those tight little shorts. Her olive skin almost glowed in that area. At least something on this girl was glowing. Shawn tore his eyes away from her body as she addressed the group.

“I’ve got three controllers total,” she said, her voice as neutral as her face was, “the joycons for the Switch.” She held up two small grey controllers, and one black gamepad. “And I have one pro controller. If anything messes up, let me know.”

She placed the controllers on the coffee table and simply turned on her heel to leave.

“You don’t wanna join us?” Stella asked her.

Yes, please join us. You’re kinda creepy looking but I need to talk to you.

“I’m still unpacking,” the roommate called over her shoulder.

Shawn was puzzled at that answer. He shared a look with Camila and Brian, who were just as bemused.

“It’s October,” Brian pointed out.

The roommate stopped at her doorway and turned back to him. "And what about it?"

Again, if looks could kill. She was definitely someone you don’t wanna mess with.

Shawn was mildly tempted, though. He watched her go into the room and shut the door non-too-gently. If this was a full blown party, Shawn would have been able to work up the courage to sneakily follow her and hit her up. He could have disappeared with the prettiest girl at the party and his friends would be none the wiser. But this was a much smaller setting, and it would be rude for him to ditch his friends for a stranger. Not to mention, this girl's energy and general presence made Shawn just a little nervous.

Instead, he watched the other three play against each other at Mario Kart. Stella practically screamed every time she was hit with a shell, while Brian cursed every time he lost to Camila. Shawn played a couple of rounds (finishing last), but he mainly nursed his beer, eyes flickering between the TV and the roommate's bedroom door. He really shouldn't have been so quick to take interest another girl, given where he was not that long ago. Was he really that desperate? Was he more of a horndog than he thought?

Between races, the group would hear tearing noises and cardboard shuffling around from the room. There was also faint rock music playing as well, but it wasn't anything Shawn recognized. If only the roommate would leave the room so he could ask her what she was listening to… and things like that. He couldn't though, he promised he would see that other girl again, even though Shawn was quickly losing his interest. Was it a dick move? Probably, but this was something he couldn’t really explain.

The second the roommate finally did emerge from her room, Shawn took another gulp from his beer and averted his eyes back to the screen. Way to show some interest.

"Stella, have you seen my knife?" she asked from the doorway.

Not surprising in the slightest. And they've all known her for about thirty minutes.

"No, what have you been using to open your boxes?" Stella asked.

"A pencil, and it sucks."

"You're using a-"

"Yes, you can stab with any item if you try hard enough!" the roommate said impatiently. "Now have you seen my pocket knife? It's black and teal?"

Shawn didn't know what possessed him to snatch up the item on the coffee table and hold it up to the roommate. But he did it, and he could only hope he didn't look crazy. "This one?"

Her dark eyes lit up as she took the item. "Thanks, dude." With a flick of her finger, she switched the blade open and swiftly went back to her room.

Was Shawn drunk or was that kinda hot?

Like magnets, Shawn and Brian turned to each other with similar looks on their faces. They both silently agreed, yes, this girl is probably definitely a badass and kinda hot. Did you see the legs on her? Shawn quirked his eyebrows and paid attention to the TV again, even though they were in between races.

"I know that look," Stella said, her bubbly tone turning for the first time that evening.

Talk about being a deer in headlights...

"What look?" Camila asked.

"You know, when we see a cute person and silently agree on how cute they are. And you silently decide which one of you is gonna make a move."

"Oh, that look." Camila smiled, glancing at the two blushing boys.

Shawn wanted to argue, but his mind was on a pair of beautiful legs and a sexy knife. This time, when the door opened again, his heart skipped a beat. What the hell is happening?

"Hey, Stella," the roommate said again. She was holding a pair of thick, platform ankle boots. "Do we have any shoe polish?"

The boots alone put Shawn's mind on overdrive. He had to have this girl. He had to see those legs with those boots. He took another hefty gulp of his beer and tried to settle his… everything. He was very much attracted to this girl, but it's not like he could perform again after doing so a couple of hours ago. That's what was so weird. Shawn was physically spent, but he still found himself eyeing someone new. He was insanely curious about this girl, and not just her legs. Why does she have boots like that? Why was she wearing such a beat up t-shirt? Why was she so late to unpack?

"I don't have any, I know that much," Stella told her, and back into the room she went.

"Is she seeing anybody?" Shawn asked, unable to control herself.

Stella raised her eyebrows, surprised. "She doesn't want me telling you her business."

"So that's a yes?"

"It means I'm not telling you her business."

"Oh, so I should ask her directly?"

"No!"

"Can I talk to her?" Brian asked.

"No!" Stella snapped. She sighed and glanced at the bedroom door. Then she leaned in towards the group and spoke quietly. "She's going through something right now. If either of you try anything, she will bite your head off. Trust me, I've seen it happen."

Shawn chuckled, only taking this as a challenge. "A feisty one, eh? Nothing I can't handle."

Stella looked him dead in the eyes. "She has a pocket knife, and she's not afraid to use it."

It was silent apart from the game's music playing from the TV. Then, Camila spoke up.

"You two are some of the thirstiest people I've ever met. Just have fun with your friends and stop thinking about getting laid for a second!"  She lightly smacked Shawn on his shoulder. "You literally had a one night stand before you got here!" Then she turned to Stella. "And what kind of people do you room with? She's so unlike you! Like, I have so many questions."

So it wasn't only Shawn and Brian who were curious about this mystery girl.

"She is my friend," Stella firmly replied. "We have things in common that have nothing to do with how we dress ourselves. And again, she is not in a place for whatever Tweedledee and Tweedledum have in mind."

Her optimism and perkiness was long gone. She was completely serious and defensive, so Shawn let it go for now. Besides, it's not like he didn't have another option in the floor above. Although, that didn't seem so appealing anymore. He hadn't seen anything like this mysterious roommate, and he was interested in solving that mystery.

"What's her name, anyway? You gotta tell me that at least," he said to Stella.

"Ann. Annalise Flores."

Little did Shawn know, Annalise Flores would be the one to give him the air he breathes.

~

I chuckled, completely blown away by this little anecdote. "How do you remember this and I don't?"

Shawn shrugged, his eyes still on the road. "You were busy, and probably isolating yourself, so that's why you don't remember. No one has ever stood out to me so much in the span of five minutes the way you did. I knew that night wouldn't be the last time I saw you. And I was right."

My cheeks were burning, and I couldn't help but smile. "Well, Stella was right. I had just broken up with Luca at that time. The depression set me back a little bit, so that's why I was unpacking so late. And I didn't want anyone trying to pursue me. So I'm glad you didn't make your move that night."

It was a soft moment in the midst of the weird, awkward circumstances we had put ourselves into. Shawn knew how to bring light to times like these, and it reminded me of why I adored him so much.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @dylshoney @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @calyumthomas

[adoregoldenharry]

Pop Princess h.s.

So this is a story I am writing on Wattpad only. This is only a snippet and it is currently ongoing. If you are interested then you can read it here: Pop Princess h.s. 

(Not my gif)

My wattpad user : adoregoldenharry

Description:

Welcome to the world of fame and riches. Where Women and men are exploited for their god given talents. Kalisto Reed is anything but the average American girl. She's a pop icon turned disaster, as the gossip magazines like to put it. She finds herself in a girl group amongst others with a dream. One day she meets Harry Styles, the golden boy of pop music. Are they too different in each other's eyes? Or will that bring them together?

The beat of the wind lolling through the sky was calm and controlled. Palm leaved trees barely moving opposed to the usual impromptu force of wind. I sat outside on a dark wood lawn chair with blue and yellow striped cushions. The vitamins of the sun painting onto my skin and leaving their mark. The remnants of last night playing hide and seek in my brain.

Not much happened besides watching Shawn getting his face mushed into his cake by his family and everyone pointing their phones at him. I remember smiling and enjoying the moment knowing that someone could send me a video or two later on. The only other eventful thing would be after the conversation I had with Harry in the kitchen, we had gone our separate ways. I did catch his eyes looking for mine every chance it was allowed. It made me a little self conscious.

I was just staring into the sky with my over sized designer lenses. The clouds were coming in and slowly ridding the beams of light from the sky. I sighed watching the sunshine drift away. Closing my eyes seemed like the only solution to eternal relaxation on this day, so it's what I did. Then the door bell rang. "You're kidding me." I sat up sliding through the patio doors through to the entrance of my house.

"Were you swimming?" Shawn asked looking at my bikini. I shook my head moving aside to let him in. He was rather dressed up tonight aside form his usual jeans and tee shirt. His red dress shirt completed by the dark tone of his pants. Curls bouncing from his head in a 'I forgot to brush my hair' aesthetic. He was always one for dramatics. "Not that I don't love you and all but what are you doing here," I closed the door following him to my couch. Shawn sat himself on my leather couch bring me down with him. I could already feel my thighs getting stuck to the seats. "Since its my birthday..."

"You're birthday was yesterday." I interrupted him. He glared at me pulling a small giggle out of me. "As I was saying," He reiterated, " Since it's my birthday some friends and I are going out bowling tonight and I would like you to come." At this point I was already shaking me head. His jaw dropped and he stood abruptly from the couch. "And why not."

I shrugged, "I'm having a self care day."

"Move it to tomorrow," Shawn slouched back onto the couch. He was always so adamant. Honestly if it wasn't for him I would probably never leave my house. I found it comforting to be home where nobody could gossip about me or take an ugly picture that would be stuck on the Internet forever. He kept his eyes glued to me and before I knew it his bottom lip started puffing out. "No no, don't you start with that," I shoved his shoulder. Somehow some way this guy made his eyes sparkle in a way that it was just impossible to refuse any of his wishes. His charm and sleekness so intricate and obviously trained into him. He was a poodle.

I adjusted the strap on my bikini, rolling my eyes. "Fine."

He jumped up and pulled me into a hug. He hurried me and pushed me to my room to get changed. I rubbed my temples thinking about my absence of needing to find the right thing to wear. Settling with a color block inspired jumpsuit that really ended up being louder than I expected when I purchased it online. I looked at myself in my full length mirror studying what I saw. It's something I tried to get myself to stop doing yet here I was, doing it. For most of my life I've let my body define me because it was the epitome of this business. If you weren't pretty you would never make it far. People always made sure to let up their opinions on that. Being in the lime light was not fun or validating. It was toxic.

"You almost ready," Shawn shouted from the living room. With one last look I swept up my shoes to put on on the couch.

The sun barely started falling from its place in the sky. Street lamps igniting and making their nightly appearance. The top of Shawn's Jeep had been removed weeks ago according to him and it felt great. Nothing like a beach cruiser in a beach town. "Who are these friends that we're joining," I closed the mirror flap in front of me after applying lip gloss. "Oh you know," his voice faltered and his eyes kept on the dark asphalt.

I held my head up by my right arm leaning on the car door. My eyebrows shifting upwards waiting for him to continue his answer. "Just uh, Lenny, Kels, Aaron, uh Camila..."

I jumped in my seat. "Camila? You're serious."

"Look Kal, I know you don't exactly get along but please just do this for me." I huffed sitting straight back in my seat.

It was way more than not just getting along between me and Camila. There was this intense aura that surrounded the two of us when we were near each other. It was discomforting and unbeknownst to me why she baited such bad energy between us. It started when I first met her. Camila brought this sweet and girl tactic around with her. When I first started hanging around Shawn he introduced us and we got on well, so I felt. We were at a party at a mutual friend's house and took shots while making fun conversation.

That same night Shawn got up to use the restroom leaving us two to each other. Her first words alone with me were etched into my brain. "Don't get too comfortable, some people don't last too long around here." Ever since then she gave me a stink face at every event I saw her. Yet she loved to be around Leah, Audrey, and Mikayla. I was apparently some sort of bad omen to her. "I knew if I told you she was going you wouldn't come." I didn't answer, I just thought about what sort of night I was in for.

"And I really wanted you to come." He glanced back and forth between the road and me.

The bowling alley wasn't full to our luck. If it had been it would be Shawn's discretion to whether we would stay or not. We spotted our group at some lanes near the other side of the building.

"Harry is here. Why is Harry here. When did you two become so buddy buddy. You didn't say he was coming." I mumbled an edge of panic showing. He grabbed my wrist pulling me towards everyone. "Did I not say he was coming, I thought I did." I had a few choice words for my friend right now but we were too close to everyone at this point for me to shout like a sailor. Camila stood up and rushed to Shawn, hugging him and letting shrill noises come out of her mouth. I smiled at her which she didn't bother to return. Run up on me, I dare you.

I found myself in front of Harry who had a knowing grin on his face. "What a pleasant surprise." I rested my hands on my hips walking up to him where he sat on one of those plastic swivel chairs. "Fancy seeing you here, love." He stretched his long arms out and snuck them around my waist bringing me in for a tight hug. He smelled like vanilla and silk. I really hoped that harry couldn't feel or hear me sniffing him in. That would be very, not good.

"Be right back, I gotta go pick my balls." Harry laughed and stood up from his seat. "I'll come with you." We walked past the counters dividing the floor and the arcade. Lights were flashing in and out with loud stints of sound effects. The wall of balls not too far out from there. I tapped my hand on chin looking at the sizes and colors. "Why are the cute ones always so heavy," Harry stifled a laugh covering his mouth. I rolled my eyes jokingly, "Boys."

I decided on a nice orange color distorted one, only because I could actually carry it. Harry, however, whipped it right out of my hands holding it to his side with one arm. I tried to reach for it to which he protested. Insisting on carrying it for me.

He was saving the chivalry that men killed centuries ago. I could carry my own ball so to speak. I was honestly surprised by the night. Everyone seemed to have so much fun. I was happily entertained by the humor being passed around. Harry and Shawn were two jokers in cahoots. I couldn't stop laughing at one point to which I was of course teased about. Camila wasn't any bother either and I appreciated it. She stayed in her lane and I stayed in mine. I found myself staring a couple seconds too long at Harry.

The way his dimples got bigger with every inch of his smile. How he brushed his chiseled hands through his hair very often. Also how he focused with every sense on a person when they spoke. I was seeing experiencing his famous traits and wow did they project. He was mellow and hyper at the same time. It was exciting to watch. Harry turned to me and poked my cheek only lengthening my smile. I looked over to Shawn who was smirking at me. I sat up straight turning my attention back to Kels who was now rolling her heavy spheric rock down the lane. She got a strike and carefully walked back towards the ball return as she avoids slipping on the waxed floors. I've taken a spill or two in my time. Don't really like to talk about it.

It was ten till eleven and the alley was a little more packed. People were starting to recognize faces within the group so it was decided that after one more game that would be it for the night. I decided to pull out of the last game and strolled along to the arcade. I slid my hands over the air hockey table that sat vacant. Feeling for any air that might come from it. I huffed after I realized it had to be paid for before it turned on. 'What a let down' I thought to myself, leaning against the hunk of metal. "Wanna play with me?"

Harry walked up right behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw a shit eating grin on his face that made me snort a bit of laughter. I nodded and stalked to one side of the air hockey table as he slipped a coin in the slot. Harry scrunched the sleeves of his black long sleeve up to his elbows. Slapping his hands together and then rubbing them in competition. I bit my lip trying not to give him the laughs he wanted. He could take them so easily from me. I wanted this to be harder but, he was so good and I was so easy for him. Right?  "Fuck," Harry shouted when I made the first point. I jumped and cheered for myself while Harry furrowed his eyebrows readying himself for the next one.

I was sweating after six back and forth points. I needed just one more to knock him off. "Kal don't even think about it," Harry said watching me trying to cheat just a little.

"You don't even know what I was going to do," I dropped my shoulders staring at him in faux disbelief. Harry flipped his hair dramatically getting into another silly stance. I let the puck go back to the middle and tapped it towards him. He hit it back with a little more aggression than I had. I needed a strategy so I thought of something on the fly. "I really love the way your nails are painted," He picked up his paddle looking down at his nails. "Thanks I-," I smacked the puck with my paddle as fast as I could. The puck passed his slot down into the table. The scoreboard making noise announcing that I was the winner.

Harry's jaw had dropped and gently slapped his puck onto the table. "You tricked me."

"Oh. Did I? I'm sorry." I apologized with no guilt on my face whatsoever. He shook his head and crossed his arms walking around the table. He stuck his hand out to me mumbling a 'good game' to which I happily took. I was definitely a sore winner and like to rub my winnings in peoples faces sometimes. It was harmless on my end though so I will definitely keep doing so. Our friends were nearly done with their game. We looked for somewhere to sit and amazingly there was nowhere to drop our bottoms on seats. "Come on," Harry lead me back to the arcade where I had whooped him.

His tall figure bent down and stepped into the photo booth sitting on the small red bench. He held the curtain open for me coaxing me in with his eyes. The way he his stare held so much power was frightening. I squeezed in seeing that he took up most of the seat because well he wasn't the smallest person. He towered over me when we were standing and similarly when we sat. "We don't fit Harry," I laughed at how uncomfortably we sat. "Alright that's it." Harry rounded his hands at my hips and lifted me slightly to stand so he could position himself under me. Bringing my hips down so now I was sat on him. My breath quickened at the feeling and I felt light headed for a great moment. And for the next couple of minutes we just sat there. Enjoying each other's company. Until he started telling jokes that is. But I still enjoyed it. "Hey," I spoked trying to gather his attention, "Wanna do something fun."

Harry gave me quizzical look before I pulled three dollars out of my pocket. "You just carry change around like that in your pocket," I shrugged. Slowly straightening the dollars and then shoving them into the photo machine. We looked through the frames and filters finding the perfect ones for us. "Definitely that one." Harry poked a classy white frame for our strips. I agreed letting him poke the buttons. And not just because he had to lean and press his front against my back to do so. I felt a fire in my tummy that wanted to be let out. I didn't have the water to put it out. Not yet.

I pressed start and it began counting down. "Oh god what do we do." I never knew how to pose for these things. Harry placed his hand on the side of my face bringing it to sit on the side of his. We smiled and looked into the camera. Next we decided on a silly face and stuck our tongues out at each other. After the flash went off we both started laughing. His laugh was so sweet and melodic. It felt like the harmony of angel cries. Our laughs were quieting down but the intensity between us got louder. Green Rain by Mvzonik started to play in the background on surround sound in the bowling alley. I bit my lip again feeling like I was loosing control. Harry's eyes swiftly moved to my lips. Observing me in a very noticeable way. We had long forgotten about the photos.

I brought my hands up to his neck and his moved to my waist. In less than a second my lips were on his. They were so silky and plump, every girl's dream. His hands caressed my sides holding me still in place. The moment of our lips molding into each others felt blissful. Our eyes closed and yet it was pretty evident that the flash went off one more time. We pulled away staring in each others' eyes. Harry's mouth still slightly open and panting from current activities. I brushed his hair on the side with my hands. "Hey are you guys in there," a loud banging on the side of the machine. Harry and I jumped apart. I stood up almost bumping my head and fixed myself to make sure nothing looked out of place. I drew open the curtain walking out seeing Shawn standing against the wall, legs crossed. "Everyone's done let's get out of here and get you home."

I nodded looking back at Harry. "I can drive her." Harry spoke looking at me then to Shawn. "Yeah Harry can take me." Shawn nodded with a mischievous smile and gave me a hug. He shook hands with Harry talking a few words before leaving the two of us. Harry looked down at me making my cheeks turn red. Looking at him meant thinking about what just happened in this photo booth right next to us. He leaned over me with one hand on my waist. Plucking our two photo strips from the black plastic slot. "I rather like them."

Harry handed me one strip. I held the paper carefully in my hands not to wrinkle it. Three photos adorned the glossy memoir. One of us smiling, another of us being goofy, and the last of us sharing a kiss. A shy smile crept on to my face eating away at my nerves. "So do I." I laid my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. We stood there for a few seconds before decided to head out. "You know if these photos ever get out, the media is going to have a field day."

"Well we did willingly hang out in public and made out in a photo booth. So I'd say we deserve it." We laughed walking hand in hand to his car.

[camilawalkerr]

"if i had to do the same again I would.” // "would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?" // "you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful." // “i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.” // "i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”

"If i had to do the same again I would.”

“So you’re going straight in for the kill, you know the rules.” she said with a strained laugh. It felt like drowning. She couldn’t breathe, but  she didn’t want to. If Liam meant throwing herself into the deepest part of the ocean, God she was going in headfirst. She watched him. The booze clouded her brain and sent ripples of warmth through her body like waves blanketing the sand. She hummed softly, the touch nearly tickling her, as her eyes drifted to the dock. “Liam?” She’s disappointed when he looks away, her fingers subconsciously dancing patterns on his skin, as her stare raised to his features. She felt his eyes on her before they followed his gaze. Camila watched their boat, with it’s chipping paint and fading words, rock softly in the water. Her thoughts were slowed, her judgement altered by the beer in her system, “Kissing you, Liam Torrcs,” Cami whispered and leaned in close to him. She felt his warm breath on her nose. “Would be anything but small nor stupid.” Her voice faded when the right punishment never came to mind. Pieces of his hair fell, tickling the curve of his eyebrow, as Cami swiftly pushes it away. Under the bleak light of the moon, she searched his features. Despite their glassy eyes, she looked sober, serious, about her decision. Cami hummed in agreement as she looked up to Liam. The light from the moon bounced off of the water and perfectly hit his cut features. The mocha in his eyes matched the color of the teddy bear he once won her sitting on her window sill. They were often red underneath, whether from countless sleepless nights he spent staring at his ceiling or the constant joint in his hands that dilated his blood vessels, she didn’t know. “Good, cause I think I wanna do it again.” Cami felt her cheeks flush scarlet and met his eyes. Their noses touched. Everything in her felt warm and electrified. In one second she was prepared and anxious and in the next, all she could think about was how warm Liam’s mouth was pressed against her own. She felt as if there was a raging inferno inside her heart. Cami felt her chest plummet and closed her eyes. “That’s a relief. I was beginning to think this entire thing was one sided.”

"Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?”

Camila lay on the damp grass of the large field; the sun beating down harshly upon her. It was late afternoon. She moaned in pain as she lay on her side, clutching her knees to her chest with a growl of irritation, she pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. Cami’s knees bounced up and down from the adrenaline that coursed through her. Tears of frustration rolled down her cheeks, her anger cooled when Liam glanced down at the ground, fiddling with his fingers. She rolled the inside of her lip between her teeth, “Do I gather from your polite lack of response, as I’m bleeding out in a strangers backyard that you’re planning my eulogy?”  Camila responded, and lip, despite her anguish, cracked a smile, however subtle.  This is what Cami was masterful at; supporting the group in spite of their dysfunction. This tempestuous boy whose brain was on fire with knowledge and alcohol and compassion.  When she was a little girl, she wondered if he would not just love her back, but love her how she loved him; wholly, unconditionally, and with purpose. She knew the answer now. “At this point, I’ll take what i can get from you. Can't help but wonder if this Is the last time that I'll see you,” she mused dramatically now, before laughing weakly. He was like the peace that she had always searched for. Her heart pounded in the same way as when she danced, her nerves stood on end like when she was buzzed, her breath hitched like when she stepped into the ocean on a cold day, “I wish I could say something that doesn't sound insane, but I’d never laugh at you Torrcs. I thought it was obvious that we care about each other moron. Now help me up, before I really drop dead.”

"You are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful."

The flowers were woven perfectly into a crown that she bore on her soft brown curls, and yet the fairy lights hanging high above were arranged into pretty patterns, the absurd amount of lighting made her head pulse. The people surrounding her wore shining smiles complimented with kind words, and yet they were all liars. She hated it here mostly because the crowding conversations, the same ones her parents made her join, always seemed to completely drown the sounds of the ocean crashing against the sand. Camila never wanted to go to Midsommer for she never found the appeal of heavy jewelry and heels that made her feet ache, and yet here she was staring out at the horizon, that could no longer be seen in the dark of the night, trapped in a conversation she faded from a long time ago. A deep, audible exhale escaped her nose as she tried desperately to put out the fire in her chest. It had grown stronger and harsher by the interaction with the boy. Her shaky hands smoothed the fabric of his suit as if to release the building energy in her body, as she fiddled with his tie. “Please,” she stood straighter, “you flatter me too much. Seriously, do you see how good you look in the suit? Ladies are going to be lining up,” She played with the stray strands of her hair to busy her hands and conceal the shaking of her fingers.Liam Torrcs. Of course. His eyes were bright as always, his lips stretching into an effortlessly pure grin. The freckles adoring his sun kissed skin were pronounced under the fairy lights. The reflection of the shining moon could almost be seen in his rich brown hair. “Hey,” her fingers subconsciously tapped to the beat of the song as a bubble of laughter escaped her. At the melody of her best friend’s laugh, the one true familiarity Camila had always clung to, she began to feel the tightness in her chest fade as if it were a knot being untied, “things aren’t quite as bad when I have you around. You’ll always be my person.” She muses, as she places a chaste kiss against his cheek now. “Come on, one last dance?”

“i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.”

A handful of small, faint scars littered his face; one forming on the peak of his cheek where a gash opened a week prior and a fading bruise still sat. His lips were pursed, jaw tight, as her stare lingered. “This probably isn’t gonna end well, is it?” she asked delicately, her voice fighting against the sounds of the night. A pause fell between the four, inviting either to back out, as they all watched as Camila finished her piece. The quiet doesn’t last forever, unfortunately. She stands for as long as she can in the calm, listening to the routine chirp of birds echoing around her, as makes her last rounds before the customers leave the shop but Barron’s money floats in the back of her mind, insistent, prodding, like a fresh paper cut. Consciously, she glances back towards her friends, where both the money and their newly acquired gun lie inside, safely rolled up in the sleeves of the van. “ Thank you for your confidence, which i will now betray. We’ve already got people looking for Thomas, last week we almost had to bail you out of jail. Now, is not the fucking time for technicalities, before one of you end up dead.” But lately, Camila had taken to staring at Liam’s hands. At the way his sunglasses sat on his face and the way they often didn’t. At his arms and his legs. At the occasional flash of a tan line on his feet. At the way he furrowed his brow and bit his lip and beamed and frowned and laughed and held her hand like he’d never held anything so wonderful before. “ I get that whatever’s in that safe is the answer to all our problems. But people are washing up dead, every week. I can’t afford losing you guys too, so whatever it is… just do it without me.”

"i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”

They’re sitting on the back porch swing of Thomas’s place, their thighs sticking to the seats like bubblegum from the summertime humidity.  There’s melodies pouring from the radio as she  hums along with the rhythm. Camila hands him his breakfast as she is draped across the seating, smoking a cigarette, and Liam is watching her.  She catches him staring and she feels her cheeks redden into crimson.“Why don’t you take a picture, photographer Liam?  it’ll last longer,” she punches his arm in jest, and  she laughs, they both do, a real laugh that eats away at her throat like a rabbit burrowing out of the earthen soil. They shove each other, sticking out her tongue, and she snickers to herself. He has a way of getting under her skin. Maybe that’s why she bruise so easily.  She’s smiling like she knows something he doesn’t. “Oh, totally. And I don’t like the quiet, that’s why you got invited.” She teases now, everything is quiet around them. A sleeping Lux and Thomas hidden away somewhere,  a winsome silence that wraps around you like a silk ribbon tenderly swaddles around a gift; that holds you together, so you don’t fall apart. It’s impossible to collapse around Liam, but so utterly possible at times, he makes her into a mosaic and thoughtfully pieces her  back together with calloused hands. “today feels like a memory already,”  She whispers more to herself than to him.  Liam smiles and she feels like it’s the first time she's seen his eyes illuminate in a twinkle of bokeh in weeks. The two  of them sit side-by-side, Cami and his fingers intertwined, she’s barely touched her food now. “Eat up, let’s catch some waves have a you and I day, hm?”

[deadcactuswalking]

“REVIEWING” THE CHARTS: 4th August 2019

Honestly I cannot write REVIEWING THE CHARTS this week properly because there are no new arrivals in the UK Top 40, so me and my Twitter followers have come up with ideas, but honestly I kind of want a break. I’ve been doing catch-up on catch-up with albums recently and I’m already really overwhelmed with that, so... will there be any new arrivals reviewed this week? No. Will this episode take literally 10 minutes to write? Yes. Is this pre-amble longer than the episode in word count? Maybe even that, but it feels refreshing to write one of these off in less than an hour like I used to be able to in 2018, and there are a lot of projects I’m working on related to both this series and the neglected YouTube channel that is intended to accompany the cactus brand, “Kanye Best”, including a Top 5 Best and Top 5 Worst Hit Songs of 1984 – or 2004 – list, so we’ll see that down the line, but for now, listen, let me just grind this out because nothing happened really, and I just want to have a chill-down week, I’ve done a Top 20 ranking on Twitter if you’re interested for more content this week.

Top 10

Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are spending their third non-consecutive week at #1 with “Senorita”, and there doesn’t really seem to be much competition here.

Also in the top five, because it’s the British pop charts, we have two consecutive Ed Sheeran singles, with “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid standing still at number-two.

Running up to the runner-up is “I Don’t Care” featuring Justin Bieber, but I really think this one is gone after not moving this week, it’s been here too long at number-three for chart rules not to punish it.

What I am grateful for is number-four, as up three spaces is AJ Tracey’s “Ladbroke Grove”, a fantastic song.

Not moving at number-five is “bad guy” by Billie Eilish, which surprised me, I thought it would drop off pretty quickly after the Bieber remix.

Also staying steady at number-six is Lewis Capaldi with “Hold Me While You Wait”... why?

As I expected, “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is down three spots to number-seven, but I did expect it to drop a lot lower.

Another incredible song moving up in the top 10 this week is “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike, up six to number-eight, becoming Fike’s first top 10 here in the UK. I know we’re really late to this guy, if Australia’s reception to him is anything to consider.

MIST and Fredo’s “So High” is down a spot thanks to the climbers at number-nine.

Finally, we have a second new Top 10 entry, and it’s the first posthumous hit for Whitney Houston, remixed by Kygo, “Higher Love”, up five positions to #10, becoming Houston’s first UK Top 10 hit in more than a decade, and her 18th overall. It’s Kygo’s third, but don’t pretend you care about Kygo.

Climbers

Thanks to the video that went pretty viral, I’m having to my face my fondness for Chris Brown’s new single “No Guidance” featuring Drake once again and honestly I feel second-hand guilt for anyone who likes this song... in fact, that’s first-hand, I enjoy that track a fair bit and am not pleased to admit that. Last week’s Love Island soundtrack debut, and, yes, I’m not joking, is also a climber as “Sorry” by new DJ Joel Corry featuring Hayley May is up a pretty surprising 17 spaces to #21, barely missing the top 20, and I’m not really complaining, it’s a decent effort. Apparently it broke records for the most recognised song by Shazam ever, and that’s pretty hilarious considering that app is mostly irrelevant unless it leaks some info about some upcoming pop queen’s new era, in which case Shazam is a gift from the Gods. Also up 17 spaces is last week’s debut of “RAN$OM” by Lil Tecca... joy, yeah, apart from the coincidence that both our lowest debuts from last week have moved up 17 chart positions, there’s nothing fun about that song. Otherwise, “Ritual” by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora is up 12 spaces to #26 (although that doesn’t exactly match up, I’m trusting the BBC on this), and “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo is up five to #34.

Fallers

We have a few consecutive five-space-fallers here at #37 and #38, “I Spy” by Krept & Konan, Headie One and K-Trap, and “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy respectively. I was thinking of how the Top 40 presentation on BBC Radio One and how it would flip from a pretty innocuous edited version of “Summer Days”, which is a nice, summery EDM tune no one could really get all too offended by unless they REALLY hate Macklemore (I don’t blame them if so), to a hard-hitting trap song that hits you several times in the CHORUS, with an intimidating voice commanding you to, “Suck your mother”. I’m sure that’ll appeal to all audiences. Apart from that, there’s nothing really worth talking about here. “Home” by D-Block Europe is down six spots to #31, “Crown” by Stormzy crashes down six positions to #19 (Not looking good for that upcoming album, but with how massive “Vossi Bop” was I’m sure nobody’s worried about this), and that’s all we have here that’s all that notable.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Looking at what’s outside the Top 40, I swear the Official Charts Company manipulated the data purely out of spite for me criticising their format, leaving me with no songs to review and Christmas hits to fall back on, because there are new songs by Taylor Swift at #43, Drake at #42 and Liam Gallagher at #49, yet none of them could have crossed over? Instead of any of those songs, which, you know, would be interesting to talk about, “Bounce Back” by Little Mix returns for another underwhelming performance week at #39? Sure! There’s not even more than one drop-out to talk about here, we’ve only got “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi out from #30 and that’s definitely the recurrent streaming cuts rule – and it’s not like this was a boring, slow week. If I only talked about #41-60, which is half as many songs as I usually talk about, I would have seven new songs to talk about, well, perhaps six since I’ve already discussed “Lalala” (charting at #50 this week) by bbno$ and Y2K as a Featured Single – man, maybe I should bring that back – but still, that’s more than what I’m left with this week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#000 – “N/A” – Official Charts Company featuring the BBC

Produced by blasted buffoons and wacky wombats – Peaked at #1 in Abyssinia

Conclusion

Okay, so, I was debating on what to do for this section, but I think I’m just going to rate the new arrivals outside of the Top 40. Best of the Week would probably go to “Lalala” by bbno$ and Y2K to be honest, but Taylor Swift would be following closely with “The Archer” as an Honourable Mention. Worst of the Week would go to “Harder” by Jax Jones and Bebe Rexha for just being boring, and I might not have had a Dishonourable Mention in place of a tied Honourable Mention for the sake of memery, as I’d give that Sam Feldt song called “Post Malone” a joke placement here at least. It’s pretty sad I can predict my own jokes before I make them. Anyway, the fact, I’ve written an episode this long with no songs to review has honestly kind of impressed me, so follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week, where hopefully we’ll have any songs to talk about.

[normanisource]

Spend a few minutes with Fifth Harmony, and it’s clear the group’s tighter than ever.

Normani Kordei, Dinah Jane, Ally Brooke and Lauren Jauregui have such electric chemistry, we literally had to cut out all the [laughs] from our interview because there were too many. The girls were cracking each other up throughout the whole thing.

And all those good vibes are sure to come through in their new music. Coming off of last summer’s “Work From Home,” 5H have proven themselves as hitmakers and are now taking more creative control of their sound. The group’s moving full speed ahead after Camila Cabello, one of its original members, bounced in late 2016.

Their next music will have “some R&B tones,” Dinah told us, and will hit on each of the girls’ favorite genres, with overtones of girl power and female empowerment throughout.

Read on for our interview with the group — plus their first cover as a foursome!

When did you guys realize you were friends in addition to bandmates?

Everyone: Awww that’s so cute!

Normani: We were on X Factor. We actually ran into each other before we were put into a group. I remember seeing Ally at my first audition, was it in Austin?

Ally: Austin, Texas!

Normani: Basically, my family… we had a rivalry. It was like, battle of the posters. My family was screaming, “Normani Normani Normani!” And Ally’s family had T-shirts… you guys roll deep.

Ally: They went all out!

Normani: I wouldn’t say it was necessarily a challenge to connect with one other because we were around the same age. I remember me and Dinah vibed heavily.

Dinah: Heavily! Like, we were low key starting to sleep over in each other’s hotel rooms.

Normani: I know! I borrowed your clothes!

Dinah: You did. We were that close. It was like that insane chemistry once you meet somebody. The connection was so crazy, we clicked instantly.

Normani: and I just feel like with everything we’ve been through together – even things that only we know about. Obviously we have each other to lean on. I think those moments make us even closer.

READ ALSO: Copy Fifth Harmony’s Style on Your Next Girls’ Night Out

How does each girl strengthen the group as a whole?

Ally: Well, Dinah, I admire your fun and playful self. I love how you always come in with music. You bring the life to the party and the energy to the room. That really helps, especially if we have a long day ahead or something, it’s really cool to see that. You’re always there pumping up the party and laughing. It just makes being here so much easier. It makes the environment so much healthier when it’s fun. I really admire that about you.

Dinah: Thanks Ally. You are super sweet! Ally… she’s like a little goofball too. It’s nice to know that there’s someone that carries the same energy. You’re always so playful. There’s times where she can be kind of like the “mom”. We’ve been calling Ally the “mother” of the group at times because she has that vibe where she cares so much and she’s on it with time. There are times where I fall short with getting to the lobby. She’s texting us saying, “We gotta get there, we gotta get there!” Just the push she brings into this group helps. Because there are times where you do fall short, and to have somebody to pick up your slack helps. You put us to work!

Normani: Well I was gonna compliment you (Dinah) but Ally did such a good job!

Dinah: You’re fake! [laughs]

Ally: I was going in order!

Normani: I feel like Lauren almost has this gift of making people feel safe through anything it is that we’re going through.

Dinah: It’s so true.

Normani: A lot of the time people almost forget that we’re human. We have things that go on with family and insecurities that we feel within ourselves. She [Lauren] has this way of making me feel comfortable and confident in myself and I feel like I can really talk to her through absolutely anything. There are conversations I can have with her that I feel like I wouldn’t have with anyone else. And I feel like we all play such a heavy role with each other but, there are just certain things that I can go to her for.

Lauren: The thing is, is that everyone brings so many different kinds of things to the table. Normani is such a hard worker, and she’s so disciplined…

Ally: Yes, Mani!

Dinah: So true.

Lauren: … and constantly putting in effort and making sure that she’s bettering herself and being the best version of herself she can be, and that for me is very inspiring because I’m the opposite [laughs]. I’m just kidding. But she definitely makes me feel like I can accomplish more if I can keep doing what I’m doing, and challenges me to want to be at her level.

Dinah: Spot on.

Who’s the best at IG? Shots fired.

Dinah: I was on a roll for a second.

Ally: Honestly, my game is getting up so…

Lauren: I’ve been on my A-game right now, I’m sorry.

Dinah: I was just stalking Mani last night.

Normani: I know I have a personal photographer.

Lauren: I think I’m just gonna push 20 bucks at her to take a photo of me today.

Normani: I feel like you can really get a sense of who we are as people because we’re so different.

Dinah: So different! Day and night.

Are guys scared to approach you now that you’re famous?

Lauren: Not the right guys.

Dinah: It’s funny because you kinda think it’s the right guy but it’s not.

Lauren: They’re either super not the right guy, or dope as fuck. There’s no in between.They’re either trying to get something out of you, or they think you’re super dope.

Dinah: There was this one guy who thought I was very intimidating because of who we are. My thing is when I come across somebody, when I think they’re super cute or handsome, I can’t play along with that because sometimes they take it as something like, “She wants me.” And it’s happened to me many times. When you’re trying to be kind to somebody and they take it as “dang, Dinah Jane likes me.” And I’m like “No, I just want to be your friend… like, why do you have to take it like that?”

Normani: For me, it’s kind of the opposite, cause I feel like in a way I can be so intimidating with me not even knowing it, and then the guy doesn’t call you and you’re like, “I’m cute! Come to me. Come here.” And then it’s like, “is there something wrong with me?”

Dinah: It’s hard. So all we want is a confident dude to come straight up…maybe. Just walk up and say, “Hey, what’s up?” And start from there.

What’s one question that you are often asked that you think a guy group would never be asked?

Normani: For instance, when “Work From Home” came out, we were asked a few times, “do you think you guys were dressed too sexy?”

Lauren: I’m pretty sure men are never questioned whether they’re acting too sexy. They’re actually glorified when all their clothes are off. Women love that shit, they’re like, “Yeahhh! You’re so hot!” But when girls take our clothes off, it’s, “Wow, she’s such a hoe.”

Normani: That’s happened to us throughout our whole career. When it came to performances, people would judge us on our performance outfits. They would say things like, “look at the hoe squad”. There were all these memes.

Lauren: And it’s normally girls! Regularly girls.

What’s the best part about having a built-in squad to roll with?

Ally: It’s really great because the four of us are really in sync with each other. We’re pretty open about most things. We try to respect each other as much as we can. For us, communication is really important. Also we enjoy a lot of the same things as each other! Like going to get frozen yogurt, or go to the movies, or talk about boys, exchange music, have fun at the red carpet and encourage each other with, “hey you look beautiful!”

Normani: We compliment each other a lot.

Lauren: It’s so important. I feel like especially being around other girls, it’s really easy to start picking yourself apart and being like, “Wow, she looks better than me” or, “My hair doesn’t look as good as hers.” It’s like, wait. [Why not just say], “You look dope, you look hot, I love your outfit.” Giving each other that energy changes the whole vibe of whatever we’re doing. If it’s a carpet or a shoot, you can feel in the pictures that we were all complimenting each other and we all felt good.

Ally: We truly live by female empowerment. Literally every day we try our best to do that.

Are you guys inspired by iconic girl groups like Spice Girls, the Supremes, TLC?

Normani: Absolutely. I know we’ve all grown up listening to Destiny’s Child, Spice Girls, TLC, Pussycat Dolls even. “Buttons” is my song. Danity Kane.

Dinah: Ooh, Xscape! I love them so much.

Normani: And it’s important to have strong individuals to paint the way for us. Without them doing what they did for music, and being our introduction, we probably wouldn’t even be!

Do you hope to leave a legacy like them one day?

Normani: Most definitely.

Lauren: I think we low key have. We’ve made an impressionable mark as far as girl groups go in the industry. I’m proud of us.

Ally: It’s cool because they inspired our looks for the shoot. We did a 90s throwback vibe and we channeled their wardrobe and hairstyles. It was super fun. They really do shape us.

Dinah: I think musically they inspire us but also on a human level. I think when you’re in a group, people expect you to all be the same. Just looking around at each other, it has helped me discover that we’re all uniquely different from each other for a good reason, because there would be no growth for me. As I’m learning about each other girl, it’s helping me learn about myself. We all have our weaknesses, we all have our strengths, but together we all make it up.

Which of you has the most out-there personal style?

Ally: I like sometimes to dress crazy…well I don’t think it’s crazy [laughs]. I like to have more fun with my fashion. Obviously if everyone is wearing more “chill chic” outfits then I’ll have to go in that lane, but…

Lauren: You love being extra.

Ally: Not extra, but I love to play! I don’t like feeling plain, I like a little sugar on top.

With so many pics of you in the spotlight, how do you keep a healthy mindset?

Normani: I feel like in a way you’re forced to, just because there’s always gonna be bad photos of you.

Lauren: Yep, you’re forced to, but you never get over people taking bad pictures of you from disgusting angles! I’ll never get over it. I get so angry every time I go on the Internet, I’m like, “Why! You know I look bad here! Why did you post it!?” I hate it.

Dinah: Sometimes they know we don’t look cute, they do it just to show, “look at this unflattering photo…”

Ally: One time I literally looked like an egg. And I had to choose to laugh about it. Sometimes you obviously freak out, but it’s out there. You cry and then you laugh.

Lauren: You cry and then you laugh again.

[jawnjendes]

i could use something good | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

AN: this is their First Date and its nearly 4k words and i gave myself emotions so and a bitch is TIREDT so TAKE THIS BLEASE n let me know what u think pls i need it

!!!!also!!!! should i give this bitch a name? should the goth gf be called something other than goth gf??? let me know if u have any name suggestions!

!!!ANOTHER also!!!! i made a playlist!!! its a fuck ton of whiplash! i spent 3 days on it!! enjoy!!

masterlist | series playlist

“If I didn’t know you,” said Stella, who was at my bedroom doorway, “I wouldn’t think you were going on a date with a guy like Shawn Mendes.”

She wasn’t wrong. I was decked out in a long black button up, ripped black jeans, and black Vans. However, I had the decency to keep my makeup colorful. Who doesn’t love bright red eyeshadow, thick wings, and a nude lip? Besides, all black clothing and bright eyeshadow was all I had for the moment. These days, I barely found time for washing my clothes or makeup brushes. My glamorous office job and homework was getting quite demanding. I was surprised I found time to see Shawn on the weekend.

I say that as if I wasn’t putting off psych homework. The last time I did this was for some fuckboy who didn’t care about my grades… or me at all. How did I know it was going to be different this time? Usually, I can tell when someone wants to hook up and leave it at that, but I have spoken to Shawn as many times as I can count on one hand, and I couldn’t detect any of that. Must be a good actor. Maybe he’s done this before.

“Maybe I’ve lost my mind,” I said, more to myself than to Stella.

She heard and responded anyway. “Losing your mind is staying in bed for a whole twenty four hours. You’re getting back into the swing of things, so even if this date goes bad, the interaction is good for you. This is normal for our age.”

Again, she’s not wrong. My antidepressant prescription was finally refilled, so the fog in my head was starting to clear up. It was just way too easy to slip back into isolation. My self destructive tendencies were just being done out of habit at this point.

“When was the last time you went on a date?” Stella asked.

I blew out a sigh and thought about it as I applied lip gloss over my nude lipstick. I was hardly the type to go on an actual date. “Shit, I don’t know. Before college, I think.”

“So you were seventeen?”

“No! I started college late. I was probably eighteen, almost nineteen.”

“That’s still about three years.”

“Well, chances are neither of us are really taking this thing seriously,” I said, putting my lip products into my purse. “He didn’t ask me on a date. He just wanted to hang out.”

Stella clicked her tongue and folded her arms. “So you’re just gonna go get laid?”

“No. I’m past that part of life.”

“So it’s a date.”

“No.”

She was more confused than I was by the time Shawn had texted me. He asked to come up to the dorm, so I gave him the floor and number. According to Stella, I was either definitely getting laid or my man friend was a real gentlemen. I wasn’t sure which one I was more nervous about.

“Should I answer the door?” Stella asked, bouncing on her feet. “So I can tell him that you’re almost ready, and then you can make a dramatic entrance, and he’ll be like ‘you look… wow.’ Y’know the way guys do!” She said all of that very fast.

“And then I say ‘you don’t look too bad yourself,’” I said, amused. “What universe is this?”

We both laughed, but then we were cut off by a knock on the door. Stella looked at my with a grin so wide her dimples came out. I tried to match her enthusiasm.

“I’ll get it,” she said, turning on her heel towards the front door.

“No, I will!” I snapped, suddenly frantic. I pushed past her to answer the door.

“No, you have to make your dramatic entrance!”

“I don’t have to!”

We bickered as we got closer to the door. Mind you, it was five steps from my bedroom. I pretty much slapped Stella’s hand out of the way as she reached for the doorknob, and I knocked her out of the way with my hip. At the last second, she stood behind the door as I opened it.

I smiled wide at Shawn, who had been waiting for thirty seconds too long. He was in a white button up, black skinny jeans, and black boots. Tall and handsome as ever. It’s always the handsome ones that’ll get you. What are the chances I was falling into another fuckboy trap?

He returned the smile, probably acting like he didn’t hear me tackle my roommate. “Hey, you ready?”

I nodded like a lovesick puppy. This was quite unlike me, if you don’t think about the times I was easily swayed by various guys who gave zero fucks. Oh god, am I easy?

Stella was hopping like a bunny from behind the door. I shot her one last glance before stepping out of the dorm and into the hallway.

No one was around to see or feel the awkward air of me walking next to Shawn. It was obvious that we were… into each other? But it was still, for lack of a better phrase, the first date and I was unbelievably aware of that. Just by appearance alone, Shawn and I didn’t look like people who would typically hang out with each other.

Shawn walked with a type of confidence I could only dream to have. People noticed him, people wanted to be friends with him. There was just something about him that draws you in, and it drew in my broody ass.

I walked with my shoulders hunched, my hood up, and my head down. I tried not to be noticed, and I was pretty sure it worked. Strangers in class who tried to talk to me were always caught off guard by my black lipstick and dark eyeliner, like it’s never been done before. I was a little unapproachable, and I didn’t intend for it to be that way.

“So before we go,” Shawn said, “you got any allergies or dietary restrictions I should know about? ‘Cause we’re gonna go eat.”

Okay… doesn’t seem like a hook up situation. I was also surprised he had the decency to ask. The only reason why my face felt hot was because I actually had an answer.

“You ready? ‘Cause it’s a decent sized list,” I told him. Then, I named all the restaurants I couldn’t eat at because I’ve gotten sick from the food. “Also, I can’t have anything spicy, or anything that’s super processed and dripping with grease.”

I didn’t love explaining this to people, but it was necessary. I prefer not being sick, especially on a date. It’s a long story.

“Alright, coffee it is,” Shawn concluded.

We ended up going to the place he and Camila performed at a couple weeks ago. It was much less crowded in broad daylight. Shawn ordered some passion fruit whatever, and I stuck with jasmine tea. I insisted on paying for myself, but nah, I was invited here or whatever.

“Where do you wanna sit?” Shawn asked when we had our drinks.

I wordlessly went for the table at the far corner of the shop. The place was quite small, so we weren’t exactly away from everyone else. From here, I could see the entrance, and the string of customers that would come and go. The bathrooms were also right next to where we sat, so I could make an impromptu escape if needed.

“Away from the sun, eh?” Shawn joked. “As expected.”

If this date was going to consist of goth jokes I swear-

“So how’s your day goin’?” I asked, keeping a smile on my face.

“The usual. I worked, went to class.”

I nodded, playing with my steaming to-go cup. “You said you work at a flower shop, right? What’s that like?”

“Oh, I love it.” Shawn sat up in his seat. “I love the different types of flowers we got. There’s one, a chaenomeles, or a flowering quince - beautiful, one of my favorites.”

The way he talked about being surrounded by pretty plants four times a week was entrancing. He was really into it. He went into detail about arranging flowers down to the vase they went in. He knew his stuff and he loved every bit of it. Damn it, he’s passionate. I like passion in a guy. Damn it.

“So you do the arrangements and you deliver them?” I asked. Listen, I wanted to know more about him and for him to know less about me.

“Pretty much. Although, I’ve been delivering to a lot of funerals lately. That’s probably more your neck of the woods, right?” He smirked.

I scoffed. “Oh yeah, the girl who wears all black must love attending funerals, huh?” I sat back and sipped my tea. “It’s quite the opposite actually, even though I’ll admit, I look like I love death and dying.”

Shawn tilted his head, curious. “Is that not what being a goth is?”

“I wouldn’t know ‘cause I’m not a goth.” A smile almost grew on my face, but I stayed neutral.

Silence fell between us, and I looked down at my cup. I could feel Shawn’s brown eyes on me, and one glance at his face showed me a charming, boyish smile. He knew I knew something, and he was quietly coaxing it out of me.

And it worked.

“Okay, fine!” I said, scooting forward and placing my elbows on the table. “Goths are merely aware of how short and fragile human life is. We-” I cleared my throat, “They acknowledge and accept the fact that we’re all going to mcfreaking die one day.”

Shawn nodded. “Okay, I see. So they’re not afraid of dying?”

“Depends on the person,” I replied. “They’re incredibly aware of the dark side of things - obviously. But they know of the light too. Light and dark, life and death. But anyone can have that mindset, really. So I would say being goth is finding beauty in the dark.”

“So what makes you not one of them?”

I thought for a moment. Yeah, I was fascinated by things that deviated the mainstream. I thought about death more than I’d like to admit. I wore skulls and black lace and dark makeup, but that shouldn’t be a reason to put me in a box. I knew I wasn’t going to stay like this forever. I just never labeled myself as what others labeled me as.

“I forgot where the beauty was,” I finally answered.

That made Shawn smile. He finally got a sliver of what I just might come with. He didn’t say anything either, he just sank into the moment, and it felt like he wanted me to be there with him.

My eyes went around the coffee shop, trying to find a way to change the topic. More people were starting to enter the vicinity. It was getting less chill and more hectic. Then I looked at the table top. We both had our hands around our cups. I found Shawn’s bird tattoo on his hand, something that made him just a little more attractive.

“So what does your tattoo mean?” I asked.

His response had me floored. “Which one? I’ve got five of them.”

Damn it.

“I guess all of them,” I replied, a smile creeping up on my face.

All five of his tattoos were special and deep. Each one gave me more reasons to not ghost him after this was over. Shawn really loved this city. He really loved his family. He loved his mother so much.

“You really love music, huh?” I mused, looking at the beautiful guitar tattoo on his forearm.

“More than anything,” he replied.

“More than flowers?”

“A hundred percent. Playing music is all I want to do for the rest of my life.”

Tell me why that made me genuinely smile. Tell me why that was so goddamn attractive.

I asked him what his favorite songs were to play, and he had a list of sweet love songs I had listened to at a different point in time. He loved writing songs about love, and he revealed he hasn’t been in a proper serious relationship before. Neither had I. Shawn was a year younger than me, so his reasoning was from just that, being young.

Part of me wished that was also my reason.

After talking to Shawn for over an hour, we fell into a silence much less awkward than when we were walking out of my dorm building. I was stuck wondering how a soft, sunshine-y boy like him could find interest in a stone cold storm like me. I wondered, but I didn’t want to tap out just yet.

Once the coffee shop was too crowded, we went out to the street. This part of downtown was still unfamiliar, but I didn’t mind this time. I was talking to a cute boy. A soft boy. This wasn’t a normal occurrence for me.

“What are you thinking about?” Shawn asked me as we strolled down the street.

I was staring at the ground. I really didn’t know what to say. We spent the last hour sharing our thoughts and whatnot, why does he need more? I merely shrugged.

“Alright, well I have another question,” he said. “What made you agree to this date?”

Oh fuck it is date.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “But after spending some time with you, I can say… you’re… charming? And, kind?” I chuckled. “I don’t really talk about things like that so explicitly.”

He looked at me for a second. “Okay, well I do. I asked Stella about you after I saw you at my set. All I’ve wanted to do is to get to know you. You’re just really cool, and really mysterious. It’s kinda drawing me in.”

This had to be a trap somehow. Shawn couldn’t possibly have genuine interest in me. He was all softness and joy, and I was all stormy and bitter. This couldn’t be real.

“I… awesome,” I mumbled, trying to hide my giddiness. Yeah, I was in disbelief, but how often is a guy like that so upfront about his feelings? That is, if he wasn’t lying about any of this.

“You haven’t told me enough about you, honey,” he said.

I glanced at him, placing my hands in my sweater pockets. So he noticed my questioning. “Well, you kinda got it figured out. I’m a girl who likes wearing black.”

“That’s it, eh? Come on, don’t be shy.”

Shyness wasn’t what I would have called it.

“What do you wanna know?” I asked sheepishly.

“Hmm… something crazy that’s happened to you.”

Honestly, it’s just as bad as the word, “everything.” But at least I had something to think about. The craziest thing I did was move countries at the age of nineteen, but it was only crazy in the eyes of my relatives, which was a lot of people. Does that count?

“I got my wisdom teeth out when I was seventeen,” I said casually. “That’s about as crazy as I get. When I was hopped up on drugs, I was telling my mom a tale of a chosen hero who on adventures all over the kingdom.”

Shawn chuckled. “Really?”

“Yeah. My mom recorded it, because she got really into it. She thought I was gonna be the next JK Rowling or something. But when I watched it back, I realized I was just talking about the Legend of Zelda series.”

“Insane. You’re insane.”

We walked a lap around the block, talking about nothing, and then we got back to Shawn’s car. I felt a thrill in my bones I couldn’t explain. I was trying to keep a cheesy grin off my face. I had to keep up my composed exterior.

“So have you been having fun?” Shawn asked when we were inside the vehicle.

“Definitely,” I replied simply.

He looked at me with a smile, and then he was pressing buttons on the radio. “Connect your phone. I wanna hear what you’re listening to.”

I quickly opened the Spotify app and changed the song I was last listening to. Why? It was one of Shawn’s songs. It was too soon for him to know that I was growing fond of his music. Instead, I chose a fairly popular Halsey song, and it played on the speakers.

“Oh, nice,” Shawn said, and he was singing along in seconds.

It got less nice as I listened to the lyrics. This song reminded me of a harder time. That’s probably why I didn’t listen to it for so long.

“You know I’m the one who put you up there

I don’t know why”

Cool way to finish a first date.

I stared out the window and stayed quiet, letting this dumb song swallow me whole. Flashbacks hit me before I could try to stop them. Backseat of my car. Weeks of silence. Feelings like you’re underwater. It made my insides go cold.

“You really get into it, eh?” Shawn asked halfway through the song.

The sound of his voice startled me, but I didn’t jump. I blinked a few times, coming back to present day. I’m in another man’s car. We’re in a different time period.

“Yeah,” I said. “A good song can alter my mood so quickly, I wonder if it’s normal.”

“Oh, I know the feeling. But I also think it has to do with the memories associated with the song.”

Once Halsey finished her song, a slow rock tune played. It was far less triggering, and it had a mile long title.

“She’s the Prettiest Girl at the Party and She Can Prove It with a Solid Right Hook,” I read off my phone. “That’s a banger.”

The following conversation about music helped ground me again. I knew Shawn was passionate about it, but music is the real love of his life. He was looking at the road as he drove, but he had a sparkle in his eyes that shone through the dark. Sometimes he was the flower delivery guy and the singer at a wedding. Sometimes he was the guy who played guitar at a house party.

Shawn was that guy.

We listened to several more of my favorite songs, most of which were symphonic metal. Some of them were lyrically dark, the type that compelled people to do that head tilt and ask “are you okay?” in that voice. Shawn just asked if I wanted to rethink not calling myself a goth, to which I played a Little Mix song to put that shit to rest.

“Oh, Woman Like Me?” he said, surprised. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

“There are many sides of me, my dear,” I told him. We were getting closer to campus, which meant the date was almost over. “You’ve only seen one.”

“Hopefully you’ll let me see more.” He pulled into the parking lot and stopped in an empty space in front of the main building. “So what level am I on now?”

I was shocked he remembered that. But if we’re being real here…

“Two.”

He chuckled. “Two, eh?”

“Yup.”

He hummed. He was looking at me again, and now I was looking at him. His eyes were still sparkling in that stupid cute way, and it was getting me weak.

“This might be the first time you’ve made direct eye contact with me,” he said softly.

“It’s because you’re cute and it confuses me,” I admitted, maintaining the eye contact. There, boy, another little sliver of my feelings.

That stupid charming smile appeared on Shawn’s stupid cute face. He quirked his eyebrows once and licked his lips. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his mouth… This is bad.

“Well, you’re beautiful and it doesn’t confuse me at all,” he said, his voice getting low. You know, that voice that tells you something is going to happen. “In fact, it’s made things more clear.”

I felt myself getting even weaker. My heart was pounding, not just in my chest, but in my ears and my legs and the bottom of my feet. My stomach was turning over in a way that I wasn’t used to. My body was gravitating towards Shawn before my brain could process it.

“I really like your eyeshadow,” he said softly, doing the same motion.

“Thanks,” I breathed out.

Our faces were an inch apart. I got an intoxicating whiff of his cologne. I was teetering on the edge of just diving headfirst, but I had to be strong.

“I don’t kiss on the first date.”

We stayed in that position for a second. Shawn was the one to lean back first.

“Okay, that’s okay. I understand,” he said. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

It was easy to tell my rejection got to him. I didn’t want to leave knowing he was disappointed. I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t like him. I had been more aloof than I’d like to admit on this entire date, so maybe he was getting the wrong idea.

“So we should go on another date,” I told him, touching his arm, “and maybe I’ll kiss you then.” I smiled hopefully.

That was what he needed to perk up again. “Yeah, definitely. I’m looking forward to it.”

I nodded. “Okay. Alright. I’ll text you, or something. I’m gonna awkwardly leave now.”

He chuckled. “Alright. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

I had my purse and my phone on me, and I placed my hand on the door handle. But I stayed in that position for a minute. It was long enough to be weird. Was I really going to leave knowing that we really wanted to kiss each other?

“Ah, fuck it,” I said with a shrug, and then I was turning back to Shawn.

I would have hoisted myself over the center console if he didn’t meet me halfway. Shawn leaned in as quickly as I did, and his lips were pressing onto mine. It was much softer than I had anticipated, and I only realized it when Shawn placed a hand on the side of my face, gently cupping my chin.

My hand went around his wrist as we gently broke apart. It was only a split second of breathing time before I pulled him in for another. I softly took his bottom lip into my mouth, resisting the urge to just pounce on him completely.

Shawn moved his hand to the back of my neck, trying to pull me closer. Tongues and teeth began to clash, and it only made me grab onto his clean button up. Would it be a bad idea to spend some time in the backseat? We were practically leaning over the center console, moving back and forth like one was going to top the other.

But again… I had to be strong.

We broke apart, panting. My fingers stroked his cheek, and his hand found its way into my hair. I felt his quick breathing on my upper lip, and it only made me want to kiss him again.

“I have to go,” I told him.

But he leaned in again, kissing me once more. “Alright.”

“Alright,” I repeated breathlessly. Then I kissed him again, only for both of us to laugh softly.

“So what level am I at now?” Shawn asked with a cheeky grin.

I returned the smile. “Two and a half.”

“Oh, really? I’d say I’m at level four.”

“Nope. Two and a half. But it’s like I said, we’ll go on another date and see what happens.”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 7th July 2019

I have been cooped up sick for the past week so I am so glad I can have a pretty easy episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS this week, in fact, I have a really easy week ‘cause nothing really happened. I can pretty much play catch-up and that’s been great. I’ve even been more active on Twitter because of it. Anyway, time for another round of relatively family-friendly lame pop music ramblings.

Top 10

“I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber is still at the top spot for its eighth week and its only competition is the five other Ed Sheeran singles from his No. 6 Collaborations Project. Oversaturation is not a word Ed Sheeran understands, and I’ll get back to that when I talk about his second of three songs in the top ten right now.

“Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello is steady at number-two but Thog don’t caare

We have our highest new entry on the chart this week at number-three, the... third newest Ed Sheeran single from the project and by the time you’re probably reading these, fourth-newest (Seriously, Ed’s ran himself into a corner if he wants that mini-album bomb considering by now he should damn well know UK chart rules). It’s “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid, but we’ll talk about it later. It’s Sheeran’s 40th(!) UK Top 40 hit, and 24th Top 10 (That’s a pretty great ratio), and Khalid’s twelfth UK Top 40 as well as his fifth Top 10 (Slightly less great ratio).

Up a single space from the debut last week is “Crown” by Stormzy at number-four.

Unfortunately, that means he brought Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” with him up to number-five.

Oh, hey, it’s Ed Sheeran, I haven’t seen him in two spots. I was starting to worry about him – I mean he might be falling off. Sigh, “Cross Me” featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is down two spaces to number-six. To be fair, I like this song.

“Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus is surprisingly pretty stagnant at number-seven.

Mabel’s “Mad Love” is of course up five spaces to number-eight, and looking like a pretty promising Summer hit, as well as being her third UK Top 10.

“Wish You Well” by Sigala featuring Becky Hill is sadly up three spots to number-nine. It’s Sigala’s seventh UK Top 10 and Hill’s third (second as a credited artist).

Finally, we have the unfortunate rebound for “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi up four spaces back to #10.

Climbers

It’s not all bad though, my favourite song on the chart right now, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey, meets the top 20 at #16, up five from last week, becoming his fourth Top 20 hit. Elsewhere on the chart, “Thiago Silva” with Dave has debuted at #56 despite being three years old because of a crazed fan at Glastonbury rapping the words (near-)perfectly, but that’s not in the top 40, so Alex’s 15 minutes of fame won’t get covered here. Dominic Fike also gets his first top 20 with “3 Nights” up six spots to #20, which is an incredible song too. “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey and Aitch is up five to #22 and “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy is also venturing up the charts, specifically seven spots, at #26. “Find U Again” by Mark Ronson featuring Camila Cabello is up six to #31 off the debut and “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy has a chance at a second wind up five to #34. Wow, these are all great songs. Sure, there’s nothing promising in the new arrivals really, and we can safely ignore “Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus getting a video push up seven placements to #33, but this Summer has some pretty great hits so far and I’m glad it does because otherwise my end-of-year lists would be dry as hell.

Fallers

Most of these fallers this week are also pretty bad songs so it seems to me that the rubbish we kept in Spring is slowly being pushed out finally, as well as some unfortunate losses and songs that debuted high but collapsed afterwards. That last category includes songs like “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift down five to #15, “Bounce Back” by Little Mix down eight to #25 and “Mocking It” by JAY1 down eight to #27 off the debut despite an EP release. “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer stops wasting everyone’s time with its sloppy Nine Inch Nails sample down six to #37. Stormzy’s streaming cuts have finally cut the power of “Vossi Bop”, however, which is a great song, down a whopping 11 spaces, but thankfully only to #14, and the pretty good “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone featuring Aitch is down 10 off of the disproportionally high debut considering both artists’ current popularity last week to #30.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

My only response to this first drop-out is ferocious laughter, as Taylor Swift’s “ME!” featuring Panic! at the Disco has dropped out from #30 after a mere nine weeks on the chart and never hitting #1 or even #2, with a flailing single barely on the charts to save her album release from completely going under. In terms of other drop-outs, there really aren’t any to speak of, except more ferocious laughter, as “MEGATRON” by Nicki Minaj drops out from #34, which was its DEBUT. This means it’s below both “Shotgun” by George Ezra (A song that’s been in the top 75 for 67 weeks), “Thiago Silva” and freakin’ “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers (Which also re-entered outside of the top 40 because of Glastonbury)! Otherwise, we have some drop outs for UK hip-hop, as “Mr Sheeen” by Russ splash and Digga D is out from the debut at #28, and “Shine Girl” by MoStack featuring Stormzy is out from #36. They’re both not particularly great songs, but they had some promise.

We have one returning entry for once, which is “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man to #40 after it dropped out from that exact space two weeks ago. Sure.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Higher Love” – Kygo and Whitney Houston

Produced by Kygo and Narada Michael Walden – Peaked at #2 in Norway and #63 in the US

So, Whitney Houston was an incredible singer and sadly passed away at age 48 in February 2012, after a decades-long career being wrapped up in personal struggles that soon overshadowed her music, especially her marriage with Bobby Brown, cocaine usage, but still eleven Hot 100 number-ones to her name, including some of the most iconic hit songs of all time such as “I Will Always Love You”, and the novelty of being one of, if not the, first African-American female singer to appear on MTV. You all know that. Posthumous releases have been few and far between, mostly consisting of cash-grab compilation albums, reissues and box sets, but there have been four posthumous releases as singles before this, most of which are just from a movie she starred in before she died, including duets with Jordin Sparks and... R. Kelly. Huh. None of them charted, then in 2016, some Malaysian dude sampled her in a cover of a mid-1960s progressive rock song... and that leads to this. I feel I should clarify that this is a Steve Winwood cover (Mostly because he and his co-writer are getting all of the royalties off of this, not even Kygo is credited as a songwriter), since this was his first #1, featuring (uncredited) vocals from Chaka Khan, from 1986, but then Whitney Houston covered it in 1990 for the deluxe Japanese version of her third album (Which explains the Walden guy’s production credit). Somehow, Kygo found the isolated vocals for this deluxe Japanese bonus track (We needed that dude on the Clockman search, I swear – or maybe he just has trunkloads of money) and made it a tropical house song, and it’s actually pretty good.

This is Houston’s 32nd(!) UK Top 40 hit and Kygo’s eighth, and it has no right to be this good. You’d think Whitney wouldn’t be putting this much effort into a Japanese bonus track, but her vocals don’t sound strained or tired here, they’re just as beautiful as her biggest hits, you’d think she was planning for a single release. The lyrical content isn’t anything special but with the grandiosity of the piano and trumpets that build up to a relaxed vocaloid drop that seems anti-climactic until it hits you again with a much more epic drop, you can really feel how desperate Whitney is in the lyrics, even when mangled to hell and back in the vocal fragments. I have nothing to talk about with this song really, and it may be a tad overlong for my taste, but this is decent, especially considering Kygo’s recent efforts and this being a tropical house remix of a Steve Winwood cover that was released exclusively to Japan in 1990 – you wouldn’t expect quality out of this, let alone choir vocals in the second drop that really make the song feel pretty religious for... no reason, but I guess Winwood’s song was always up for interpretation and he must have given this the thumbs-up at the time. The dude’s never going to complain about free royalties from some EDM DJ, he didn’t back in 2004 when Eric Prydz did it.. which, by the way, had a video that even the Prime Minister at the time admitted to being aroused to—okay, why is Steve Winwood the person who I found the most interesting here? It’s a good song, let’s leave it at that before I go on an essay-length ramble about Steve Winwood, Tony Blair and Japanese Whitney Houston songs.

#29 – “Don’t Check on Me” – Chris Brown featuring Justin Bieber and Ink

Produced by Sheldon Ferguson – Peaked at #13 in New Zealand and #67 in the US

Alright, so, yeah, I’ve used all of my energy up for that first song because I have nothing to talk about for this one or the song afterwards. It’s Brown’s 36th Top 40 hit here in the UK, which is about 35 too many (Yeah, I liked his last one, “No Guidance” featuring Drake, and I’m not exactly proud to say that). It’s Bieber’s 45th (Holy moly) and this Ink woman’s first, mostly because she has never released solo material and doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Ink sounds good on the song, but Bieber’s boring as he always is and Brown’s vocals are incredibly overproduced, especially for this tone of song. In fact, I’m not going to go in any more depth than I need to, and just leave you with this. This song is a stripped-down acoustic ballad fronted by Chris Brown. That’s all you need to know.

#3 – “Beautiful People” – Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid

Produced by Ed Sheeran, Max Martin, Shellback, Fred Gibson and Alex Gibson (Did this song really need this many producers?) – Peaked at #2 in Ireland and Slovakia, and #26 in the US

I always feel like the highest debuts each week are the ones I have the least to say about, but maybe that’s because I’ve heard discourse about them all week and I don’t care for them enough to go on about how the new Taylor Swift song misses the point of Pride Month or how Chris Brown is an abuser who made up with Drake after a year-long fued that ended anti-climactically, or how Lewis Capaldi makes me want to eat Kermit the Frog’s insides. This song I’ve seen little to no discourse on however, and that’s pretty telling when all is considered, considering these guys are the two biggest male singer-songwriters out right now, but I think maybe that’s because the song has little to no discourse to be provoked from it. I mean, the lyrical content is interesting, mostly because it’s about how Sheeran and Khalid don’t want to become have their perspective on life clouded by the money and fame... which is very convenient for these guys since that’s their whole appeal – they’re down-to-earth lads who sing over a couple guitar&B instrumentals despite being some of the richest entertainers on Earth, and while nothing can really tell me otherwise that these guys are genuine, I can’t help but to think the lyrics are less of a genuine message and more just fitting in line with the public appearances they’ve established for themselves over the past decade. It doesn’t help that the overproduced instrumental is stodgy and cluttered with nasal vocal samples over some fake handclaps, bumping 808s and... chanting vocals? Also, I’m pretty sure that Fred Gibson guy snuck his “Fred again” tag into this song as well, during a really janky part in the first verse? That means there are two Ed Sheeran songs with a producer tag. Huh, at least this one doesn’t have a PNB Rock verse. The hook is catchy but it breaks momentum with the post-chorus chanting that’s just dumb as hell, and I’m pretty underwhelmed with Khalid in comparison to Ed here, where it would usually be a complete wash, but I’m pretty sure that’s because Khalid doesn’t care enough about perpetuating Ed Sheeran’s image of “Haha, I don’t fit in with the current pop scene of flashy clothes and extravagant music videos!” First of all, that isn’t the current pop scene at all, it was in 2013 when Ed came on the scene but that has switched entirely, mostly to his benefit, and second of all, I’m sure Khalid has no issue at all with wearing a suit to a couple awards shows. He’s barely in his 20s for goodness’ sake.

EDIT: “I Don’t Care” does not have the “Fred again” tag. “Cross Me” still does, but I’m just glad Fred Gibson hasn’t put his claws on everything he touches.

Conclusion

What a shoddy week. Uh, Best of the Week goes to Kygo and Whitney Houston for “Higher Love” and while “Don’t Check on Me” isn’t really worthy of my commentary, I honestly think “Beautiful People” annoys me more, so sadly I’ll have to give Worst of the Week to Ed Sheeran and Khalid. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and I’ll see you next week!