#if anything it makes it more rich and complex and messy

[erodasfishtacos]

steer clear - roommates!abo pt 2

summary: and they were roommates… word count: 6k an: more parts up on my patreon and they are next to be updated.

you can subscribe for $3USD here and get access to 300+ exclusive writings & I update every one to three days !

this is a follow up to this +++ YN will fully blame her pre-heat, looking back at the events of the morning.

She cannot believe that she walked around an angry alpha barely dressed, taunted him, and casually bared her neck.

It was starting to worry her that she didn’t put enough consideration into the idea of how her alpha roommate would affect her heat disorder.

YN was only a week and a half into her month of preheat but she feels like the symptoms were stronger now that his rich, deep scent lingered on every inch of the apartment.

She truly despised this knothead, know it all alpha.

YN also desperately wants to be held tightly in his arms.

She needed a nap.

++

YN decides that she needs a night out with Niall.

She breaks her own cardinal rule of not drinking during preheat because of the way she acts.

YN’s become aggressive in the past, not necessarily physically but just like how she gets during heat, she almost becomes a feral, wild creature like their ancestors instead of the normal, calm, sweet girl she was.

Niall wouldn’t have agreed to go out with her or at least offered her shots if he knew that she was in pre-heat so she purposefully failed to mention that was one of the reasons she had been so stressed out recently.

The bar is fine, it’s not crowded because it’s a work night.

Niall didn’t care if he had work the next morning, he was always down for a good time and swore that he’s not once experienced a hangover.

By the time that Niall has walked YN to the hallway of her apartment, he watches from near the elevator to make sure that she unlocks the door and gets inside safely before he turns to get back in the lift to go home.

YN wasn’t as drunk as she was at the bar but she would still deem that she was over the line of being buzzed as she shut the door a bit too harshly before fumbling to lock it with a bit of a struggle.

It takes her a moment, as she rests her hand up against the wall to unstrap her heels to realize that there are new scents in their apartment.

Not only that but a distinct semi-sweet scent of an omega, who YN doesn’t recognize by scent nor wants it her home, let alone the other betas.

The film of fury starts to develop over her vision, only exaggerated by the tequila still pumping through her veins and altering her state of mind, on top of the hormonal changes as her body shifts to go through her cycle.

When she steps further into the apartment, YN spots a small group of people in the living room with drinks, snacks, and everything swiped from her coffee table.

It was nicely stacked and set aside near the television but all YN could see was that her safe space had been fucked with.

She couldn’t even smell Harry that well with everybody in the mix and that triggered her even more into a sense of insecurity.

Though logically YN wouldn’t call Harry her alpha, her omega has already identified him as hers or at least a potential alpha for her for heat, and the fact that his scent was not currently oozing through every inch of their living space was alarming.

They were playing a somewhat complex looking board game that YN had never seen before, all laughing and joking easily, having a good time.

YN focuses on the omega instantly.

She’s has thick-framed glasses that took up most of her face, tangled curls thrown into a messy bun, and tattoos that covered nearly every inch of visible skin.

Her scent was mediocre at best, at least to YN’s nose, and though this girl had never done anything to her - YN already felt a strong sense of anger and jealously that she even had the audacity to step into her apartment, her safety from the world.

The omega wasn’t even sitting near Harry.

Harry had two betas on either side of him, their shoulders bumping casually from trying to squeeze in around their coffee table but any physical contact with her alpha- with Harry was just completely unacceptable right now

Everyone’s eyes dart up to YN, most of them have friendly smiles on their faces.

YN realizes that Harry had been smiling and it had really been the first time she had seen that from him, he surprisingly enough had dimples.

However, when he looks up from his stack of cards, the smile fades into something stormier, something she was much more used to seeing.

YN vision feels blurry for a moment, blinking harshly, and desperately trying to simmer the rage that was starting to boil over.

When the omega slips her glasses up into her hair, she leans over to hand Harry a card from her deck, and she whispers something low enough YN can’t hear.

If she was in her right mind, she would realize that it had something to do with the game that they were playing but it felt like a threat.

YN’s voice is tight, shaking because she wants to get physical but knows she can’t, knows it’s not right but she’s never gotten this hostile before.

“Get out of my house,” YN hisses and even though it’s directly at everyone, her eyes are glued onto the omega who rightfully looks startled.

Harry stands up, chest puffed and shoulders as broad as possible, and looking a hundred thousand percent like the alpha of her dreams.

“YN,” His voice is firm, not quite at an alpha timbre but not too far off, he sensed the true threat, and realized this could go very bad.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” YN screeched louder, her chest was heaving and she knew her eyes were wide and erratic as they darted around to keep an eye on every person in her house.

“Hey,” Harry’s voice warns, stepping out of the group and closer to her, “I will have everyone leave but you’re not going to be aggressive like this. They’re not doing anything to endanger you.”

YN bares her teeth at him, upset that he’s not protecting her safe space for her.

How could he not see that they’re ruining everything?

“Get them out!” YN waves her hand toward the door sharply, kicking a pair of shoes in their vicinity for good measure.

“Settle down now,” Harry booms louder, finally in his alpha tone, and it’s something that quite literally flips a switch in her mind to obey.

YN blinks at him, suddenly feeling heavy like there were weights in her limbs as she stills snarls but doesn’t emit any noises further towards the guests.

The anger dissipates and is fully replaced with despair.

It’s not something that has ever happened before but then again, this was the first time that she had ever had an alpha in her life.

YN doesn’t melt though, not when Harry wraps his fingers securely around her wrist, and tells his friends, “I’m going to take her back to her bedroom. See yourselves out. I’ll contact you all in the morning to reschedule.”

YN doesn’t want to go to her room until they’re fully out of her house but when she hesitates in the entryway, Harry tugs at her, still gruff and alpha when he snaps, “Let’s go, now.”

She follows, albeit unwillingly and still fucking too buzzed to fully process anything that was going on in these last minutes.

Harry opens her bedroom door, nostrils flaring whether it’s from his disdain for her scent or just agitation - most likely a mixture of most

“Stay here until I say so,” Harry demands, in his typical bossy alpha way as he nudges her into her now open bedroom door.

“It’s my apartment,” YN nearly growled at him, eyes narrowed.

“It is also my apartment as well,” Harry points out, calm and emotionless as ever, “And you acting like a feral, unregulated little pup isn’t going to fly with me.”

YN feels like it’s an insult to her value as an omega.

It makes her want to shrink and become unreasonably small.

She already felt that way compared to him.

When Harry moves to shut her door as he leaves, she can’t help but bite out, “Knothead.”

Harry shakes his head in annoyance but only reminds her once more, “Stay here.”

YN ignores him, after he shuts the door, YN decides it’s time to change out of her form-fitting outfit and into something much more comfortable.

All she can think about though is that the feeling that her apartment, her safe space for her head, has been disturbed, and she’s going to have to fix it or she won’t be able to sleep.

She didn’t get a good enough look to know what’s out of place or not but she can guess things were moved around and touched.

YN changes into a soft pajama shorts and a cropped tee, nearly bouncing on her feet for the confirmation that all of the intruders have left her house.

If she wasn’t buzzed and in pre-heat in the presence of the first alpha she’d ever really known, she would have probably joined in the game or conversation.

All bets were off during the lead up to her cycle.

Once the door cracks open, Harry doesn’t peek his head in or anything but simply rumbles, “Everyone is gone.”

He doesn’t say anything else before she can hear him walking the few steps to his bedroom and shutting the door harshly.

YN feels like a live wire is in her veins as she exits her bedroom, eyes trying to go everywhere at once but instantly focus in on the game that’s still laid out on the coffee table.

She doesn’t care in that moment that she might be messing things up as she starts to shuffle all the pieces back into the box with a bit of unnecessary urgency.

But before she even gets half-way done with that, she realizes that someone has moved Beatrice’s box of toys to the wrong corner of the room.

Her little metallic crinkle balls, her fish on a string, all of them were splayed out over the floor, and not nicely tucked away as YN had left them.

Then she realizes that the visitors had been using her throw blankets which means they automatically had to get rewashed first thing tomorrow.

YN threw the three blankets in a pile near the entryway, she didn’t even realize that there were tears streaming down her cheeks instantly.

Harry pads back down the hallway as she is re-entering the living room, that same annoying scowl on his face, and tense body language.

“You don’t have to prove this point to me. I would have cleaned all these things up once you went to sleep,” Harry huffs out as YN moves a chair back to its original place at her dining room table.

YN isn’t proving a point though

She’s trying to fix her safe space that he had so carelessly destroyed.

Harry moves towards the coffee table to clean up the rest of the board game but YN snaps at him first.

“You already disrupted enough! Let me clean this up! Don’t touch anything else!” YN is half yelling, half begging at this point.

“Why are you being so fuckin’ difficult with me? Ever since you walked in the front door,” Harry throws his arms up, “Is it because I had people over without asking? I didn’t know I needed your permission.”

His tone is triggering, his stance, his scent.

YN was starting to think that there has been great reasons now to steer clear of stupid fucking alphas. YN bristles at him because there’s something about the way he’s acting that makes her skin itchy.

He was the alpha, she was the omega.

They’ve established that and he should know that this isn’t normal for any omega without some type of disorder.

YN wonders if Harry has any mate-like instincts or if he truly is unbothered by the way she acts because he doesn’t give an ounce of care about her.

She decides the best thing she can do right now is ignore him completely as she continues to tuck the decorative pillows back in their spots.

Harry is waiting for a response but realizes after a moment of heavy silence that he wasn’t going to be receiving one from her.

“If it was an issue, I am not a fuckin’ mind reader,” Harry continues on, volume loud enough that it pricks at her ears sharply, “If there was a problem with it, you need to be an adult and communicate.”

YN drops the pillow she was just about to place, eyes burning near fire as she snarls at him, loudly and frustrated now.

“I did tell you!” YN raises her voice, vocal cords straining because yelling for her was a rare occurrence that almost never happened, “You should have have some fucking alpha instincts or is there just too much testosterone in you to have common sense?”

Harry growls louder than before, at the insult of his secondary gender, no alpha wanted to be questioned on their abilities.

YN keeps on before he can respond, “I have been in pre-heat for the last week and a half. You knew that! You knew that I was struggling to sleep, feeling restless, and upset. Did you not?”

Harry’s jaw twitches, his throat bobbing as he swallows, his eyes darting guilty to the side for a moment before focusing back on her, “I did.”

“You knew I’m struggling through my pre-heat and you brought a group of people here? Unfamiliar people? An omega in my home?” YN breaks down, the rage leaving her body and tears flooding in instead.

The tension in Harry’s body starts to fade as he realizes what he’s done and he has the decency to look properly remorseful as she cries.

“My safe space doesn’t feel safe anymore,” YN sniffles as she pulls the collar of her shirt to cover her face, her vulnerability as she sobs, “You took away my safe space then yelled at me for being upset about it.”

“YN, I -“ Harry begins, his tone had softened ten-fold and his shoulders were relaxed, chest not as puffed up and intimidating.

YN shakes her head, wiping her eyes with the fabric before letting it drop again, “I need to go to my room. I need to be in my nest unless you’ve invited them to lay in there too?”

It was rhetorical and she didn’t give him a chance to reply either way as she storms passed him, avoiding his shoulder just barely to get to her room.

YN shuts her bedroom door, making sure that he can hear the lock distinctly as a warning, and relieve floods through her when she looks at her bed.

Her nest is perfectly as she left it if Beatrice was curled up to the left corner, and probably had been the whole time the group of people were here.

She had already been in her room when Harry marched her in here but she had been so frazzled that she could only think about getting out there to clean, not a thought to her nest.

Beatrice was the friendliest cat once she warmed up but until then she was anxious and tended to tuck herself somewhere away from noise.

YN’s already dressed for bed and readily crawls into her nest to bunker down under the layers of soft blankets and comfy sweaters.

She hates that it reaches underneath her pillow for Harry’s shirt that still had a decent amount of his rich scent on it to make her feel warm and fuzzy in a different way.

YN’s mind starts to wander, when he brought her back here, did he look at her nest?

Alphas should know that it is highly disrespectful and inappropriate to view an omega’s nest without their expressed consent and permission.

However, Harry was the rudest, most off-putting alpha that has ever walked the face of the earth which leaves her anxious that he did look.

If YN would have known that Harry would see it, she would have spent hours building a much prettier one, more constructed, bigger.

Her pre-heat and heat nests however were more about comfort than ability and appearance.

They were sloppy, hastily put together, and usually a wreck from how much YN tossed and turned in her sleep during these times.

YN surprisingly sleeps well once again because of her nose being tucked into a fabric carrying the most delicious scent she had ever smelled.

But she wakes up earlier than usual, especially because she was off work for the rest of the week because of the issues at their office and it was Tuesday.

She should be sleeping in.

YN doesn’t forget that Harry gets up earlier than her by a long shot and is out the door by the time her alarm goes off but she checks her clock.

She staggers to her door, moving to unlock the knob but when she glances down she notices her door is already unlocked.

YN doesn’t remember getting up at any point but with how much alcohol she had consumed the night before, she wouldn’t be surprised if she had gotten up to pee.

YN is dreading walking into the hallway to be met with the disappointing smell of all the random betas that had been over here.

Worst of all, the omega who’s scent would likely linger, and be more sensitive to her nose because of the insinuated threat of competition.

However, when she steps out, most of the lights are still off and it’s still completely dark outside which makes the dim lamp in the living room give some illumination.

YN doesn’t smell anything but Harry.

Like insanely, all encompassing Harry.

It was the best thing she’s ever woken up to.

When she pads into the main area, she notices that the apartment is a hundred percent back to normal, everything rearranged perfectly.

Not only that but it was even more spotless than before.

Most importantly, Harry must have rescented the whole apartment and marked it as his territory which maybe should make YN mad but it just brings her back to the feelings of being safe.

YN is blinking rapidly, eyes watering from relief as she runs her hand across a neatly folded throw blanket on the back of her couch.

It takes her a minute to realize it hasn’t just been scented but washed completely along with the other blankets that were tucked neatly into their basket by the couch.

“I should have asked before I marked the entire apartment. My…alpha went into a bit of overdrive after our conversation last night,” Harry’s voice interrupts the silence from the kitchen, it was low enough that it didn’t make her jump.

YN turns her head to look at him, he’s dressed in gym gear with a loose fitting black tee that doesn’t do justice to his defined body shape, mid thigh black running shorts, and black tennis shoes with crew socks.

He looked big, intimidating, and every bit of the angry alpha that he has shown in the past to her but he wasn’t posturing, he was leaning against the counter and sipping a protein shake from his shaker bottle.

“I…” YN shakes her head as she looks around, in awe that the alpha actually listened and did something kind for her that maybe he wasn’t the complete knothead she thought he was, “It’s okay. It feels safe again.”

“Even with my scent?” Harry clarifies, wariness in his expression as he watches her, eyes always focused and clear from under his dark lashes.

“I've never had an alpha in my proximity. It makes me feel safer and I like your scent. It really upset me when I could barely smell you when I got home last night,” YN doesn’t know where this honesty is coming from and isn’t sure whether she should regret it or not.

Harry has the same flash of guilt cross his face and that’s when YN realizes just how exhausted he appears with puffiness under his eyes, darker than usual coloring.

“It must have taken you a long time to do all this. You even did laundry and I know it takes ages for those dryers to actually dry anything heavier than a sock,” YN murmurs as she gives another glance around.

Harry rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, his hair was in a high bun, and his jawline was like something of a sculpture.

YN was still struggling to come to terms with the idea that this alpha was her flat mate, Niall never mentioned how impossibly handsome he is or devastatingly all dominant, primal alpha.

Maybe as a beta he truly didn’t notice.

Niall could be quite oblivious.

“I let my emotions get the best of me sometimes. I wasn’t thinking about how new scents in the house would affect your pre-heat,” Harry admits, his voice is still somewhat flat but it seemed genuine enough, “I am a good alpha.”

YN is a bit taken aback by his words.

It was the cadence of the way he spoke them.

Like he was trying to prove it to her.

“You should get some sleep before work,” YN defers the topic and from the twitch of Harry’s jaw - his annoyance too because he wanted validation.

He was being a good alpha but it was a little too late in this scenario.

“I have to get to the gym to train,” Harry shakes his head, swigging down the last of what was in his bottle before moving to wash it out.

“You can’t take a day off?”

“No,” Harry replies, simple and firm, “You should be the one getting back to sleep. You don’t have work today. You should rest, your body has been incredibly stressed out.”

“I’ll probably sleep the whole day now,” YN laughs but it’s the truth, she almost wants to move to the couch after he leaves to be more more enmeshed in his scent.

“The striped knit blanket in the basket, you might want to not use that one,” Harry tells her before he directly focuses on scrubbing his plastic cup.

“Did you not wash it?” Maybe it still smells like omega or beta.

“I did,” Harry blinks at her, frowning like he doesn’t want to answer but is being forced, “I just…it’s drenched in my scent. My alpha was unsettled so probably want to let it air out and lose the scent a bit first.”

“Okay,” YN replies easily because that means that after he leaves it will be the first one that she’s going to wrap herself into like a burrrito.

“Okay?” Harry repeats back, skeptical and sharp, “I don’t understand how all these betas and one omega triggers you so incredibly much while I can just stink up and claim this whole apartment with no issue.”

YN almost physically sees Harry start to put his guard up, hackles up and brows knitting downward to cause the wrinkle above his nose.

“It makes me feel safe, you…um, make me feel that way too,” YN admits, all to honest again, and she wonders why she is opening up to a brick wall.

Harry’s jaw twitches, eyes unreadable as he nods, “Okay.”

YN wants to laugh at his robotic, stiff response to such a major compliment.

She may be taunting a bull but she has to try.

Harry had just hung the dish towel back on the oven handle when YN walks into the kitchen and straight at him, not giving him a chance to move before she’s wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging him.

A major part of her expects him to push her off, scoff at her, or to even just stiffen up to the point that it would feel like hugging a scarecrow.

But Harry, she was learning was absolutely full of surprises and he doesn’t do any of those things.

He doesn’t exactly soften but he does something that nearly stops her heart, he puts his hand on the nape of her neck which is a very intimate thing.

“You’re fine. You need to figure out how to control your disorder, it must be miserable living like that twice a year. Go get some sleep now,” Harry rumbles as he administers the lightest squeeze to that spot his hand was on.

YN purrs.

Her eyes widen and she flinched.

“Did you just-?” Harry begins to ask, voice getting rougher.

“Have a good day at the gym and work!” YN squirms out of his hold and hightails it to the bedroom, shutting the door quickly.

On her retreat, she swears that she hears Harry huffs out in a mixture of annoyance and humor, “Silly pup.” ++++++++_

[lindsay00000008]

Pet whump society headcanons

CW: Dehumanization, systemic pet whump, ableism (mention of “changelings”), allusion to apartheid with “pet only” facilities, ageism and allusion to putting pets down, yeah it gets pretty dark

How are pets dressed?

Pets would have a specific vibe of clothing or hairstyle, so it would be easy to pick them out of a crowd or sense they don’t belong. I’m thinking “fun” haircuts like wolf cut, mohawk, elaborate braids and buns. Or hairstyles that are very easy to maintain, shaved or effortlessly short and messy.

Clothing would be an overcommitment to a certain aesthetic, depending on the owner’s tastes. Usually bold and gaudy, or an uncomfortable style made to show off the pet’s best qualities.

The punk crowd could keep wearing these too, to show solidarity against pet ownership. And boomers get angry at the youths for dressing like pets just because it’s “trendy”.

That may also cause clashes with the cops or pet control departments, if they keep stopping people who “look like” pets.

Do pets have to crawl?

I mentioned in my story about Honey that only rich assholes with too much time on their hands make their pets “trot” on hands and knees everywhere they go. While it’s wrong to make your pet walk upright for too long (can be dangerous and exhausting), it’s not a good idea for them to trot outside or in most public places, as the ground is dangerous and unsanitary. Most of the time it’s acceptable for them to walk. That is, unless they’re inside a house, in which case it’s up to the house owner to determine.

Sort of like “a no-shoes household” —not everybody cares, but it’s generally polite and acceptable for pets to trot then, even if they wouldn’t normally. Sometimes the same holds true for working/service pets, made to trot within an office or classroom, whereas they would stand and walk around the rest of the facility with their owner.

They’ll generally sit or kneel on the ground when not moving, whether in public (on a train, at a restaurant, in a library) or in private. Many public places have designated plastic or rubber pads for pets to sit on, next to human seats and below tables.

Do pets use their hands?

I also made a note that while pets are still considered to have “hands” and not generally prevented from using them (not bound into paws or anything), it’s generally frowned upon and considered bad training if a pet uses it’s hands. This is because pets are silly little creatures who don’t know their own strength, and tend to hurt themselves or others if allowed the same mobility a human has. They’re basically allowed to use them as a primate might, holding food (not utensils) and drinking from them, moving a pillow or playing with a toy. But they shouldn’t be opening doors or doing more complex things like using tools (drawing/writing implements, hairbrush/toothbrush etc).

How long have pets been around?

Pet theory has been around for hundreds of years, but emerged as an evidence-based sociological/governmental designation comparatively recently. Pets have been scientifically classed and evaluated for since the late 1800s, although for many years after, only the upper class was able to afford evaluations for their family and peers. The caretaking of pets was seen as both luxury and philanthropy. While some families were shocked to learn that theirs included pets, many understood the necessity of revealing pets through scientific inquiry, as research would later show the rapid quality of life increase for pets who no longer have to play “changeling” and were treated appropriately with medication and training. It became common for rich families to evaluate prospective matches and employees for pet classification, and they often adopted those who were discovered, a generous act lauded by many pet conservationists. Nowadays pets are more commonly found and more affordably adopted, as testing procedures have simplified and become mandatory for most jobs and some cultural events, such as acquiring a marriage license or passport.

Do pets speak?

Pets are trained to rely on their caretaker to provide, and to not focus on their confusing pet thoughts. It isn’t good for a pet to engage in prolonged communication, so giving a pet small commands is most appropriate. Pets should be encouraged to reply with expressions, actions, or humming vocalizations. Some owners choose to correct their pet’s unnecessary vocalizations by trimming the hyoid bone, docking (shortening) the tongue, or (for the wealthier owners) undergoing a procedure in which a selective aphasia is triggered in the pet’s brain, keeping their comprehension in tact but limiting output ability.

Pet peeve question: pet hygiene?

Well trained pets can use the same restroom facilities as humans do. Because they’re not so dexterous with their hands, bidets are a universal commodity (lol idk - guys I really don’t want to make any pet owners rely on diapers or soemthing eugh)

It’s recommended that owners alternate sponge bathing and fully bathing their pets, checking their hygiene daily. They should also consistently brush their pet’s teeth and/or give them brushing toys to gnaw on.

It’s recommended that pets visit a care center for checkup every three months once fully trained, to ensure both physical and emotional well-being.

Pets in training should return to their home facility at least twice a week to get proper care.

Are there any older pets?

As pets age their appearance and mobility can suffer, as well as their emotional and mental well-being. While pet research is advancing and always finding new solutions to prolong the wellbeing of a pet, current projections note that a pet’s lifespan is generally between 25 and 35 years, depending on the age of pet status acknowledgement. If pets are found at a later age and do not receive proper care in time, they will generally suffer complications and resist training, requiring end of life care earlier than a well-trained and stable pet.

[emma23]

I would crawl to you :

Jonathan levy x reader

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The apartment was unusually quiet for a Saturday afternoon. You stood in the kitchen, staring at the half-empty coffee cup in front of you, absently running your finger along the rim as you listened to Jonathan pacing back and forth in the study. He did that when he was in deep thought, muttering philosophy theories under his breath, occasionally stopping to tap his pen against his desk like it held the secret to the universe.

Jonathan Levy, your brilliant husband, the one who could hold an entire lecture hall spellbound with his complex thoughts on Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, was currently stressing over something trivial—like how the postmodernists had failed to adequately consider the implications of free will.

You rolled your eyes with a soft smile. It was typical Jonathan. His mind was constantly running a marathon while you were just trying to figure out what to make for dinner.

“Jonathan!” you called out, half-expecting him not to hear. “Are you coming to eat, or are you going to philosophize your way into starvation?”

There was a pause, then the sound of a chair scraping across the floor. Moments later, Jonathan appeared in the doorway, glasses perched on the tip of his nose, eyebrows furrowed in that familiar way that said he was both deeply intrigued and mildly frustrated.

“I was just...thinking,” he started, his voice thoughtful.

“You’re always thinking,” you teased, walking over to him. “But if you don’t eat something, I’m afraid that brilliant mind of yours is going to shut down.”

Jonathan looked at you, a half-smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I can’t argue with that. What are we having?”

You turned back to the kitchen, gesturing towards the mess of ingredients on the counter. “I was going to make pasta, but I got a little distracted.”

“Distracted? By what?”

You shrugged, looking at him over your shoulder. “By the sound of you muttering existential dread in the other room. It’s kind of hard to concentrate on boiling water when you’re wondering if life has any inherent meaning.”

Jonathan laughed, a warm, rich sound that filled the small kitchen. He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“You don’t need to worry about existential dread,” he said softly. “I’ll do that for both of us.”

“Great,” you replied dryly. “So I’ll just worry about the pasta.”

You felt him smile against your skin, his hands gently kneading your sides, pulling you closer. The warmth of his body against yours was comforting, a reminder that no matter how deep into his thoughts he got, he always found his way back to you.

“What would I do without you?” Jonathan murmured, his lips brushing the side of your neck.

“Starve, apparently.”

He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your skin before letting you go. You turned to face him, and for a moment, the world outside the two of you didn’t exist. It was just him—his dark eyes, his messy hair, the way his smile seemed to erase every doubt in your mind.

“I was thinking about something,” you said, your tone more serious now as you leaned against the counter.

“That’s dangerous,” Jonathan teased.

“No, really,” you continued, rolling your eyes. “I was thinking...if anything ever happened to you, like if you got hurt or sick, I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you.”

Jonathan blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift in your tone. “Crawl to me?”

“Yeah,” you said, nodding earnestly. “I’d crawl through fire, across broken glass if I had to.”

There was a beat of silence before Jonathan burst out laughing. He doubled over, clutching his sides as if your declaration of love was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard.

“Why are you laughing?” you demanded, crossing your arms. “I’m being serious!”

Jonathan straightened, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “It’s just...the image of you crawling through fire and glass is...well, it’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“I’m not dramatic!” you protested, but even you couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

“Okay, okay,” Jonathan said, holding up his hands in surrender. “I get it. You love me so much that you’d crawl to me if need be.”

“Exactly,” you said, still grinning. “And don’t forget it.”

He stepped closer, his hands finding your hips as he pulled you against him. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

There was a brief pause, a charged silence as his lips hovered just inches from yours. The air between you was thick with the unspoken promise of something more. It was always like this with Jonathan—one minute you were teasing each other, the next you were falling into each other with the kind of passion that burned slow and deep.

You closed the distance, kissing him softly at first, then deeper, his hands tightening around your waist as he pressed you back against the counter. His touch was familiar, but it always set your skin on fire, like it was the first time all over again.

“I love you,” Jonathan whispered against your lips, his voice low and husky.

“I know,” you murmured, your fingers threading through his hair. “But just so you know, if you ever try to leave me, I’ll crawl after you. Very dramatically.”

Jonathan chuckled, his breath warm against your cheek. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Hours later, after a failed attempt at making pasta and a long detour that involved you both tangled in the sheets, you lay next to him, the night quiet and peaceful around you.

Jonathan turned on his side, propping himself up on one elbow as he gazed at you. “You really meant it, didn’t you? The crawling thing?”

“Of course,” you said, smirking. “But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

Jonathan laughed again, shaking his head. “You’re something else, you know that?”

You reached out, brushing a stray curl from his forehead. “Yeah, but you love me anyway.”

“I do,” he said, his tone more serious now. “I really do.”

You smiled, feeling that familiar warmth bloom in your chest. “Good. Because I’d hate to have to crawl after anyone else.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes, but there was a soft affection in his gaze as he leaned in to kiss you one last time.

And just before he drifted off to sleep, he muttered, “I’ll make sure to walk really slowly then. ”

[woozapooza]

Okay, Sopranos ramble that I'm going to try to phrase carefully because I realize it has as much to do with my own philosophy as it does with the actual contents of the show, so I don't want to state my perspective too definitively, but I do feel extremely strongly about this and I want to get it off my chest:

While there's obviously a strong current of nihilism that runs through the show, I have zero interest or credence for any interpretation of the show that implies that the characters are at their most clear-headed when they're swept up in this current of nihilism. I think the most bizarre (to me) example is when people say that Livia of all people was essentially right when she said to AJ, "In the end, you die in your own arms [...] It's all a big nothing." Livia, who lived her life in certainty that the world was out to get her no matter how much evidence she received to the contrary, who never allowed herself to take joy in anything except other people's misery, who did indeed die in her own arms but only because she insisted on pushing everyone else away, who said the aforementioned quote to her 13ish-year-old grandson because she wants him to be as miserable as she is—this is who we're treating as an oracle? What?? I find this take even more fake deep than I find the "Richard and Elliot were right about Tony all along" take (which is really saying something, lol). Literally everyone else in The Sopranos, even characters who sometimes voice a similar sentiment, has something that brings their life meaning, something other than other people's misery that brings them joy. To ignore all of that—the moments of friendship, family, non-criminal-interests, non-criminal-aspirations—and say, basically, that the existence of misery and cruelty in these people's completely cancels out all the other stuff—I just (personally) find that to be a cop-out disguised as a profound insight. In that respect, I find it comparable to the thing I was complaining about in this post, where people act like the characters who provide nothing but sanctimonious moral judgment are the wisest characters. This show, like the real world, is rich and complex and messy and three-dimensional, and to me (just my personal opinion) these takes flatten it. And (in my personal opinion) they flatten real life right along with it.

Whew. I hope I put enough hedging language in there. Having got that out of my system, I'd just like to conclude with two screenshots. First, this one that I've posted at least twice before, plus it's currently my header image, but I'm posting it again because I just love it so much and I think this person is one of the only people who should ever talk about The Sopranos—nay, one of the only people who should ever talk about ANY show:

And second, this comment that made me laugh on a youtube video of the scene where Livia says that line to AJ which I watched to make sure I got the quote right:

[libbee]

About air lovers

Air men (moon in gemini/libra/aquarius//moon in 3rd/7th/11th house)

1. Racing thoughts, if I think it I will speak it, I need to speak, no I cannot think internally I need to speak, tell, blurt it out to someone.

2. See, unless you stimulate me, please dont try to befriend me. I am volatile and versatile. If you are not a quick thinker, chatty, conversationalist, how will we connect and bond? How will we stay friends? What do we talk about-you ask? We talk about history, universe, biology, business, science, news, cinema, TV shows, your pet, my pet? No, we dont talk about how I feel, we dont talk magic, we talk concepts and ideas. Emotions are magical, you see. How those witch babes manipulate energy for spells, I am a "how to make friends and influence people/rich dad poor dad" kind of person. Please dont tell me about your healing powers, I am a metacognition/neuroscience kind of person.

3. You are either fun or boring. Sorry, I cannot see anything else that makes a person worthy of my friendship or relationship. My partner is my best friend, we talk, share our thoughts with each other, laugh out loud, we are constantly texting. I only date people who are mentally stimulating. Though I am not too romantic and I dont offer emotional intimacy, but I can offer you a fun time and belly full of laughter. Sorry sir, we dont do inner work here, we dont do self reflection here, we are not that deep. We are all about ideas, thoughts and reasoning. Emotions make things messy and complicated. Y'know I dont have that stability to sit down and get in touch with my feelings. I can be meeting new people in that time, that's just who I am. So if you are someone who's looking for emotional vulnerability, emotional sharing of insecurities and complexes or trying to make me spiritual then I cannot do that, please find someone who is compatible with you. I am not spiritual, I am logical. Sorry, I dont understand what you mean when you say that you are feeling shame/fear/anger, I just dont let feelings trap me, I just move on to the next thing. I dont understand what healing means, I am just not meant for these things. I dont understand what you mean when you say soul or spirit or divine or energy, are these not just words? Where is the proof they exist? You're intuitive? Hmmm, I am more of a thinker type. You're into astrology and tarot? Oh, I am an economics nerd, there is so much to learn and understand in the real world, why are you lost in virtual, spiritual, magical world?

4. I need variety. You can be the most mentally stimulating person in the world but I still need variety. I just need variety. It is not about you, it is about me. Conversations, connections and chatting give me validation, they are fuel to my engine. When I am with you, I wonder what am I missing out on? Please dont feel sad about it, see that's why I dont like feelings. Life is supposed to be fun not serious. I need to try out new things and meet new people. More I try, more I learn. I like mental and emotional freedom. I like playfulness and joy of living. Let's hangout for lunch tomorrow? That's how I like to bond and connect with you. I am not shallow, the right people will understand that I am a very fun and smart friend. You have emotional needs, I have mental needs. We are different. "Let's hangout for lunch tomorrow":

5. LMAO, that's my new joke. My mom was like... and my dad was like.... lmao, seriously that was so funny. You dont like jokes? You're offended, triggered, taking it personally? What even.. How can someone not like jokes? Laughter is the best medicine, my friend. I self actualize with jokes, I roast myself, I twist events to make them funny. I want people to have a fun time with me. I dont know how people can sit in silence and paint or draw or meditate for hours or enjoy their own company. I would rather play video games, watch TV, write some essay or shoot some video for YouTube or tiktok or Instagram-I need motion, movement, to do something. Next task ✅ Next task ✅ Next task ✅ I get bored if I stay at one place for too long.

Air men (sun in gemini/libra/aquarius//sun in 3rd/7th/11th house)

1. If you want to torture me, keep me isolated in a room. Social groups are where I thrive. I cannot stand solitude, simply because being solitary means to sit with my emotions, thoughts, insecurities, complexes and face them. I cannot do that, I just cannot.

2. Fortunately, my life theme attracts many opportunities to make friends/socialize/meet a lot of people on daily basis. Astrology not only tells personality traits but also life event patterns. 3rd, 7th, 11th houses deal with other people, networking, public interactions, connections and relationships, you see the association? Some are born lone wolf, we are not. I can never be a monk, I dont have the emotional discipline for that, though I can be your travel partner to Thailand when you visit a monastery, I love to explore new places.

3. I need you to like me, I am really good at studying others. I like to keep a lot of connections, I like to network with people, people are assets, friends for life, there is nothing much in life. Hanging out with friends, being around people, socializing makes me feel alive, rejuvenated and meaningful. I am a bit of chameleon, yeah so what, you are too. People are not one dimensional, what is this obsession with authenticity? Do you even know who you really are, duh!!

4. When I meet someone, I notice their desirable qualities, what makes them attractive, what is their best quality and I internalize that, make it my own, morph myself into a desirable person. More similar we are, stronger our bond will be. I know I am not authentic but it is simply not my nature to be so. Please appreciate me for what I am capable of offering you. I can be a really nice actor though, I have the charisma and versatility for it.

5. They call me charming. Because my personality shines. I am the person people approach when they are at the cashier. I am the person people approach when I am just minding my own business. I appear desirable, friendly and safe to people. You wouldn't approach an intimidating, stiff, serious person, will you? Let's see it this way, water man and I enter a bar. Bartender greets both of us. Water man emits vibes that provoke uncomfortable emotions, insecurities and traumatic memories in the bartender. But I emit vibes that are comfortable, friendly and safe to feel. I am more approachable. This is because I dont spend my time exploring my depths, complexes, psyche. I am the person who runs the community, I run the entertainment business, I run the economy. If everyone sat down to do self introspection and inner work then who will take care of the material world? See-leave it to me, I can handle that. 

6. Though I make a loyal partner when I am mature. I am loyal because cheating is too much of mess for me for too little return. I am not really obsessed with power, I am the sigma not the alpha, we are equals, I dont want to be superior to you-I dont want power over you. I want to be your friend. I make love with my friend. You are my friend and you are my lover. I dont like power games. Though if I have fire/water placements too then I can be power centric otherwise I am just the equal dynamic type. I am a very balanced type of person.

[thelovelybitten]

more loonatics headcanons / shenanigans...

i've been on such a binge watch of lu that I just need to post abt it okay leave me alone

BUT I'VE NOTICED THINGS !!! (this is s2 ep4) !! you kind of get an insight of what they all like to do and things they enjoy with these bedroom stills.

ACE:

obviously: likes carrots, cute lil bunny.

HIS LIL DOORMAT DJSNGJSDNJK

i couldn't zoom in enough to see what's on his monitor but you know he likes to watch shows before bed. relatable content.

the fact he's got two side tables as well gives me eating in his bed vibes but also he'd be clean abt it. i also think he'd be a big comic book reader. not sure what, but he would be. I'll let y'all decide.

speaking on that, there's a shelf with books on the far right so yeah. i think he'd also read manga bc of his anime complex. he may also keep some sort of CDs ? maybe vinyls ???

i know this man keeps katanas and a dartboard in his room.

he's a snowboarder !!!! THAT'S SO COOL. he must be a god bc this man is AGILE.

he's got a skyline view PHEWWWWW rich ass mf

also. an aquarium on his right (our left) which is so fun I wonder what kinds of marine life they'd keep!!!

I'm also not sure what the compartment behind his head is for but I think its a closed-off bookshelf or space for his knick-knacks. i also see a fireplace too but idk how logical that is lol

LEXI:

NOW WHY SHE SLEEPING IN A HAMMOCK WHEN THE GIRLIE COULD HAVE A QUEEN SIZED BED ??? she's quirky like that ig. whatever makes her comfy. (I know she'd upgrade, I just know. just bc she can sleep anywhere doesn't mean she's always comfortable.)

a phone/pager by her bed is so real

THE WALLPAPER IS BEACHY IT'S SO CUTE

she's a SKIIER AND A SURFER. WHAT CAN'T SHE DO. (seasickness who)

cabinet obvi for storage, idk why she'd have anything important in there besides old childhood items it's so high up???

lower shelves are for books and things maybe. or video games.

AND DO YOU SEE THE AQUARIUM ??? THIS CONFIRMS THAT LEXI AND ACE HAVE NEIGHBOURING BEDROOMS AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE MY MIND. there has to be some type of barrier/wall between the two tanks for privacy reasons but I'M DEAD GNFDGNDJKFNJDFNKHK MY BABIES

opposing skyline views so iconic... i know she takes mad insta pictures (or duck takes them) to get good sunset shots

i believe the items on the table are her laptop, a makeup bag andddd maybe a clutch purse? just a guess bc they're so tiny.

laptop makes sense. it'd be hard but she could still try to get an education on the side??? lots of work for a girl but she's a boss like that.

makeup for obvious reasons

clutch purse for nights out

SLAM:

THE WAY I'D BE SO SCARED FOR THAT WEIGHT TO DROP ON MY HEAD. SLAM IS A TROOPER WTF

I remember sumth abt that cylinder thingy on the left but I can't remember what it's for yet. will update when the ep comes.

MANS IS AN INTELLECTUAL !! those are all comic books (like ace, they bond) and language workbooks.

the poster of pizza is SO REAL OF HIM

there's a teeny tiny chute beside his door and I wonder what it's for. maybe it's a scanner? idk

light above his head is also...a choice.

i'd like to think that the things at the end of his bed are air purifiers and that slam has some sort of breathing issue when he goes to sleep. maybe he grinds his jaw or is a mouth breather;;;

computer for gaming tings and other endeavours

A WHOLE ASS TREADMILL YEAH BUDDY U STAY IN SHAPE.

i know this man doesn't have a WHOLE ASS DRUMSTICK IN HIS BED. but makes sense. he totally eats in bed BUT IS MESSY ABT IT. duck and lexi HATE IT IT'S NASTY HAHAH they ask him to switch his sheets and vacuum almost everyday

DUCK:

THIS MAN IS SO CONCEITED I CAN'T Y'ALL.

but like ace, he also has a tv by his bed I know he and lexi would watch romcoms together

K-DRAMAS???? SPECIFICALLY SINGLES INFERNO (only bc s3 just came out, it's on the brain) duck just boasts abt how he's better looking than all of the other males while lexi is very much about the relationships/drama

his little peek-a-boo window behind his head is so cute :"))))

I have no god damn clue what that thing is beside him on the left but I'm sure it's important

but he wears headphones to sleep !!! must need white noise or rain to sleep

control panel for his lights and other digitally controlled shit in his room

THIS MAN HAS SO MANY MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPER ARTICLES ABOUT HIMSELF AND THE LOONATICS (but only bc he is in them, thank yew) I also think he'd carry a lot of fashion magazines too. things that are in. the second a fad ends he's done w it

I'm assuming this is an arcade game setup, but i think he'd love Mario kart :) him and tech love to battle on this but move it to the main room bc duck thinks tech is cheating bc "the screen is two small".

i know this man would sleep with mf silk sheets and a fleece comforter he's a bougie bitch

computer for obvious reasons

REV:

i had to include all four shots bc he is a sleepwalker/runner LOOK AT HOW CUTE HE IS ;U;

it looks like he sleeps in a casket-like bed (hence, the lid is open top centre) I believe he only has this open when he's awake so idk who forgot to close it. it needs to be closed so that when rev does actually get up and sleepwalks, he's contained. the last thing the loonatics want to wake up to is the house completely trashed bc rev had a dream he was running from something. so casket bed it was.

that's also why. he doesn't sleep with sheets. if he trips and falls oh lord. therefore he wears super warm pjs in the winter to not freeze to death

he's got a ton of books, rightfully so, I think he and tech would share this bookcase because it would have different manuals, blueprints and miscellaneous mechanical guides. robot guides. that too. i also think rev would be that person who re-reads his childhood books over and over again and not get sick of them ever

there is also a treadmill in this room I just know it

a tv as well. idk where, but I hc it's there.

TECH:

thanks for giving me nothing to work with here

I kind looked forward into the ep and there's a smidge of the bedroom in a frame but idk what the other shit could be

but I know his room is very clean. it's SPOTLESS. everything is organized and well put together.

I'm going to ignore the fact he suckles his thumb bc this man is 24 years old BYE

there's a whole bunch of ai robots in there to do anything he wants.

he is also the other loonatic who has their own bathroom. he only got it bc he won the straw draw. well, ace won technically, but gave it to tech bc he was the oldest and would keep it in the best shape. duck still hasn't forgiven him for it.

he shares it with lexi since she's the only lady in the house :) ain't no way she shares with the boys.

the others share the other bathroom. one more gets installed later but the other four are SOL

tech also has a nice walk-in closet

he needs to take melatonin b4 bed bc this man is noctournal

has drones scattered on shelves, ones he's built and ones he's collected from professors and other inventors

AAAAND THAT'S IT. THANKS FOR COMING TO ANOTHER TED TALK LOL I'MMA GO FINISH S2 XOXO

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

Back On My Next Generation Shenanigans

Angeline "Andi" Jocelyn Herondale: The first Clary and Jace child. She has curly blond hair, freckles, and green eyes. She's very charming, but she's also been going through this life long crisis that the Shadowhunter's are in a never ending battle with the demons that will never end through the generations, only ending when the demons win; she's a bit of a natural pessimist. She thinks a lot about society and such, looking into the mundane forms of government, hoping it would be better then the Shadowhunter ones and was just like these all kind of suck, society sucks, I should make up my own form of government. She fights demons with knives, like a strange amount of knives; she'll hold like seven at once and slice away, she'll throw them and then pull some more out of nowhere. Thanks to this existential dread for her and the future generations thing, she ends up coming up with theories on how to just kill all demons forever, doing all kinds of research and experiments. With this, things get kind of messy. She also is kind of thinking about starting a coup, to overthrow the Shadowhunter form of government and implant a better one, which also gets kind of messy. Like I said, she's very charming, so she forms a whole group of people. Honestly, since she's so ambitious and willing to do many things to fulfil those ambitions, I think she might end up as a sort of antagonist, which should give an interesting dynamic with her family and friends. I can also see Shadowhunter's being like 'is it really surprising considering her grandfather' even tho she has a completely different set of ideals.

Jasper Robert Herondale: The second clace child. He has curly red hair, freckles, and black eyes. Much to surely everyone's surprise, he's a very quiet person, and to nobody's surprise, he would rather die then share even a hint of his true feelings. He gives big gentle giant vibes; man's just over here looming in the corner freaking people out, but the people who know him are just like 'nah, he's fine, he's just happy to be here'. He's the only one that got the tall genes, standing tall over all his other short siblings. He fights demons with a sledgehammer. When he was little he got kidnapped, but instead of pulling a Mina, he actually got traumatized. It was a mundane that kidnapped him, which is why it took a while to find him because nobody thought it was just some random mundane that took him. The mundane was going to sell him and some other kids to some rich buyer, but when the Shadowhunter's stormed the area to get Jasper they freaked out and started killing the kids as some sort of last minute cover up, not wanting to be caught with ties to the market cause then they'll just be assassinated in prison. But his parents got to Jasper before they could kill him, now the last survivor. This resulted in Jasper having a bit of a savior complex, feeling like he needs to save everyone since he feels like all those kids died because of him and he couldn't do anything about it, him, a Shadowhunter in training. It didn't help that he was naturally protective to begin with, now it was just twice as intense. This complex should lead to interesting thing when Andi goes all rouge.

Samuel Lucian Herondale: The third clace child. He has curly blond hair, freckles, and green eyes. He's the artist of his siblings, often drawing made up, disturbing looking creatures, along with other strange looking things. He's got this ever growing, hard to understand imagination, and it makes him come across as a bit strange and awkward, but he does have a lot of cool comics he's drawn but never published, though he wants to. The way he ends up fighting demons is sort of unusual; turns out, some of those creepy looking creatures he draws he can make come to life to fight alongside him, his parents angel blood coming through. Though he does have a weapon as well, that being a seraph blade. Despite it being angel power, and despite everyone literally knowing his parents whole Angel deal, Shadowhunter's are still side eyeing him for how demonic his creatures look. They're literally pulling out his family tree like 'oh wow Tessa the warlock is your great great great great grandma I bet that's those demon powers' or whatever. He's basically gaslit into thinking he's a demon, despite his parents being like 'it's probably just our angel powers but even if it's demon powers that's okay too'. But Samuel was already insecure, and this just fed into it. But ironically enough, he can't hate this power, making friends with the little creatures he makes; he just hates himself. I think out of all the Herondale kids he understands the most of why Andi went rouge.

Marigold "Mae" Celina Herondale: The youngest clace child. She has curly red hair, freckles, and gold eyes; kinda looks fox like now that I think about it. She's very quick witted, can talk on and on for hours and never run out of quips. Super competitive as well; whatever she gets into she will work herself to the bone to be the best. Although when she gets competitive, it just feels fun to her really, something to get passionate about, but then most people end up taking it wrong and get all heated about it or feel overwhelmed or something of that like, and she doesn't know how to correct it, especially in the moment. She fights demons with dual machete's. Mae often struggles with that connecting to people thing, but then there was the time when she actually connected with a demon more than a person. It was some random demon that could talk, and they were fighting but they both got sort of competitive about it and one thing led to another and now she and this demon are sort of besties. This led to her having a bit of a crisis of her befriending this demon so easily when she can't do the same with people, wondering what that makes her and if she's even worthy of being a Shadowhunter. Then there's the whole sneaking around to see her demon friend and worrying about when it came down to it what side would she be on. Honestly, she's more worried about what Andi will do to her and her demon friend then the Clave.

Noelle Rebecca Lightwood: Simon and Isabelle's first child. She has black hair and brown eyes. She's very much a poised, calm person. She's an introvert to the point where people think she's rude, but really she just can't handle socializing for very long, making her words seem clipped in dismissive, which she always ends up feeling guilty about. But she has a bunch of random, niche interests, that if you get her going on one of those she'll talk your ear off. She fights demons with a bow and arrow; Alec taught her. She's a bit of a glass child really, as her two siblings prove to be a bit of a handful, and she's seen as the 'easy to handle one'. Simon and Isabelle of course don't do this on purpose, they just have their hands full with the other two, and Noelle ends up festering in this. This leads to her physically unable to ask for help, not knowing how or if it's even allowed. She has all these insecurities and feelings she desperately needs help sorting out, and other people are always like 'wow your so put together and independent', making her feel this expectation and driving her into further isolation so people don't know she's not put together or think she's too needy.

George Maxwell Lightwood: The middle sizzy child, who definitely thought his name was inspired by 'George Lucas' before they told him about George Lovelace. He has brown hair and blue eyes; Will's eyes live on once again. He tends to feel things very deeply, doesn't know how to take things causally. Everything makes him feel these intense emotions, and people tell him he needs to 'calm down', or even think he's faking it, but that's just how he feels. He's also big into movies; he remembers every detail of every movie he's ever seen, researching the background of the movies as well. He has a multitude of screenplays he has written that he thinks aren't good enough to go on to become an actual movie. But his ability to feel things deeply assist him in writing these screenplays, able to insert such feeling in his characters and the presentation of situations. He fights demons with a seraph blade. George secretly doesn't really want to be a Shadowhunter; he wants to go off and make movies and such. But he feels guilty about it, what with feeling like if he takes irf he's betraying all of humanity. And there's also the stigma of his dad, Simon, being originally a mundane. People would say things like it was in his 'blood' to be a mundane, and that attitude would also go to his siblings, so he keeps quiet.

Lorelei Maryse Lightwood: The last sizzy child. She has brown hair and dark brown gold eyes. She's very much a free spirit, always running off and getting into shit, always disappearing and coming back after some strange misadventure. She just could never find it in herself to stay in one place. Girl will literally be missing for like a week and show up with jar of blood or whatever and is like 'I can explain'. She's a drummer, a very good one, hoping from band to band because she always seems to get involved in the shittiest bands who she insists 'have potential' but then they always end up falling through. That's how she gets into a lot of her misadventures really; she gives people the benefit of the doubt way too much, she looks for and finds people's best selves, which while sweet, can get her involved with bad people. She fights demons with this spiky baseball bat. Like I said, this trusting nature of hers gets her into trouble, but the biggest trouble she's gotten in is when she accidently got involved with some small that worships the demons and think they should take over the world. Now she knows way too much about this strange, ridiculously over funded cult, and is trying very hard to stop them while not telling anyone she has ties to such a treason. Worse yet, she ends up falling in love with someone in this organization, which makes things all the more complicated.

Eleanor Jia Penhallow: Helen and Aline's first child. She has black hair, freckles, and blue eyes. This was a planned adoption, a Shadowhunter orphan whose parents died fighting demons, now in need of a home. She's a bit of an actress, being able to disguise as different people as well as characters of her own creation. She really throws herself into these roles, using it to find out information and such, a bit of a spy in her own right really, pulling information for the Clave and for her allies. She's quick and able to read situations and people quickly, adding to her ability to act in difficult situations. This also leads her to know more then she probably wants to know, even of her friends, which can make her feel like she's being intrusive even when she's just looking at them. She fights demons with a double edged blade. A lot of the time she has trouble pulling herself out of said roles, sometimes feeling like she doesn't have a true personality and that even when she's not in a role and she supposedly 'herself' that it's not really her, that she's still acting. This leads to a bit of an identity complex, not really sure who she really is at a 'default', if the way she is is just another role or if it's natural, because she doesn't know.

Edmund Liam Penhallow: Heline's next child. He has curly black hair and brown eyes. This was more of an accidental adoption, a Shadowhunter abused by his parents that ran away to the Los Angeles institute at the age of only 9, of whom Helen and Aline get very attached to. He's very cautious and observant. He likes research; he knows every bit of Shadowhunter history and Mundane history, he knows how to fight with weapons he doesn't even wield, he learns about random things that one would think would never come up in a situation but when it does he's ready to info dump much to everyone's bafflement; guy's just a bundle of knowledge about basically everything. He fights demons with this hammer and nail thing, both using the hammer to hit the demons and for hitting the nails at a long distance at the demons. His parents were very much not careful with him. They put runes on him too young, they threw him in front of demons too young saying that was his training, and so on. The final straw that caused him to run away was when they had somehow got it in their head that he had the potential to talk to ghosts. His parents had heard of the Herondale's connection to ghosts, and one time they saw Edmund muttering to himself so they were like 'clearly he has the potential to talk to ghosts as well'. Edmund tried to correct this, as he very much could not talk to ghosts, but they just threw him into some sort of morgue for 'training', refusing to let him out until he made some sort of connection to a ghost. He tried to lie, say he did, but his parents saw through the lie every time. Two weeks passed before he gave into hunger and began eating the only thing edible in that room; the dead bodies. Another week passed, and at that point he thought his parents weren't ever going to let him out, but then they did. It was then that he ran away, the taste of dead people never truly leaving his mouth. Honestly, the way he saw it, his parents jumped the gun a lot on him, doing things to him without properly understanding, being so reckless with him. So this sort of fed into his obsessive 'I must know every detail before doing anything' thing he does, as he doesn't want to be like them, and he thinks this will prevent people from being hurt. I also think the whole eating dead people thing definitely led to an eating disorder of some kind, unable to eat a lot of foods without tasting dead people.

Andrew "Andres" Blackthorn Rosales: Eldest kiearktina child, born from Cristina and Mark. He has curly black hair and golden eyes. He adores the forest life, wants to explore every part of it. Though, the forest didn't naturally like him back at first, as he didn't have that natural connection to it like the Fae. But he learned the ways of the forest, able to navigate it like no one else, and now the forest likes him back. He wants to travel the world and explore all sorts of different terrains, map them out, understand them all. The guy has crazy survivalist skills he's both learned about and discovered through trial and error, and he can and will go on rants about them at any given moment. He fights demons with this mysterious sword the forest gave him as a gift that definitely won't lead to any sort of plot line don't worry about it. The Fae disapprove of his entire existence, looking at him in a sort of 'what is he even doing here'. He's only partially Fae, and they don't consider that to be enough, even though Andres feels more connected to the Fae then he does with Shadowhunter's. They don't even really consider him to be Kieran's son, despite the many, many times Kieran has made it very clear he is. They pick on him and do cruel tricks on him a lot, nothing to permanently damage him physically, since he does have that amount of protection from Kieran's name, but it does take it's toll on him mentally. His parents know what's going on, but he never tells him who did it.

Juniper "Junie" Kingson Rosales: Youngest kiearktina child, born from Cristina and Kieran. She has curly blue hair and silver eyes. She's very much attracted to the city life, lowkey hating the forest life, not vibing in their cottage core lifestyle; very much the opposite of her brother. Girl is super into architecture, learns about the different styles from all over the world, she's obsessed. She has doodles of her own architecture, and she wants to make them a reality someday. She fights demons with a three balled flail. She isn't considered to be a true heir, as Cristina is considered a consort. But that's good for her because she didn't want to be the heir anyway; life in the fOrESt? Forever? No thank you. Give her that industrialization. But there does need to be an heir, and Kieran very much does not want to have a child with some other Fae woman just to have one, so as time wears on it's looking like an illegitimate heir is looking better than no heir. That would skip over her brother and to her, because even though Kieran of course sees them both equally as his children, she has Kieran's blood in her, so the Fae would consider her first. Of course, Kieran has siblings it would go to first, but even the slight possibility of it ever going to her puts her on edge. She feels it in the other Fae's eyes, that they hate her, but they'll take her as a last resort. She feels it in the way they talk to her, like they want to hurt her so bad, but don't just in case she does end up ruling over them. As such, being around most Fae make her uncomfortable, and would rather be with the Shadowhunter's.

Benjamin "Benji" Livia Blackthorn: The only blackstairs child; I'd imagine after raising all of his siblings, Julian might opt to spend all his energy into one kid rather then several. He has curly brown hair, freckles, and blue green eyes. He has a love for making weapons, not just weapons that already exist, but ones he thinks up himself. He'll experiment with new ideas and even fashion to better suit the individual person. He's very passionate about it, leading him to come off as very intense. He'll go out and actively seek out demons to test his prototype weapons on alone. It's a very dangerous thing that Emma and Julian have desperately tried to stop, but Benji is incredibly stubborn and tenacious, a consequence of having Emma and Julian's genes. But when he's fighting with other people, he's less likely to just test something he hasn't before, as he doesn't want to put other people at risk, so when he fights demons with other people he switches between a multitude of weapons he's tested before that were successful. People are very wary of Benji's weapons because they're breaking tradition; he's mixing metals that have never been mixed. People call it a disgrace to the Angel's gifts, saying he's basically spitting in the Angel's face; so as you can imagine, Benji isn't very popular. There was this one time when he was younger that he was told some kids were going to meet up, so he met up with them without telling his parents because he didn't think it would take that long, only for to be locked in a closet in their house for like a day before Emma and Julian found him. The kid wasn't trying to kill him, the kid was planning to let him out after a few days, but he didn't tell Benji that. It was a very traumatizing event, and he became rather claustrophobic and suspicious of people who are nice to him after that.

[quitefair]

From Sea to Shore: A Josephine Montilyet lore/meta project

Start reading here!

Hi, hello. I suppose introductions are in order.  

My name is Meera and I am a fan (derogatory) of Dragon Age. Have been since 2014, the moment my ears heard the Dragon Age Inquisition theme. (I’m a sucker for soundtracks, I can count on my hand the number of interests I’ve dived into solely because of the soundtrack.)

The reason I’m so fascinated with Dragon Age, as with many people on this site and beyond are, is because of the rich and complex lore that is contained within the world of Thedas. Whether it be within the games themselves, or the massive catalogue of supplemental media – books, comics, short stories published online, the massive hardcover bible of The World of Thedas, etc.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Dragon Age is known for… well. Not putting shit into their game. Which is arguably, the most important part of Dragon Age. Yknow. The games? Couple this with the fact that the writers are known to retcon things left right and centre… leaving fans with a, if you don’t mind my language, piss poor understanding of anything beyond surface level.

Now I’m not going to argue semantics about topics that I am clearly not qualified to talk about. I’m still learning things. So while I do read some absolutely delightful discussions on the Mage-Templar war, Tranquility, the Dalish, the Qun… I’m not qualified enough to write proper discussions on these serious and interesting topics.

Instead, I’m armed with having read too many books and watched too many shows. So, what I can do is to look at characters within Dragon Age that I have an unhealthy obsession with, and try to make sense of their stories.

And guess who I’ve decided to start talking about first?

[source]

I’m gonna start off by mentioning that I haven’t done anything like this before. My only credentials are having been unhealthily obsessed with this game franchise for coming onto 9 years now, and owning The World of Thedas 2. Which I haven’t read in its entirety. (Bioware please… put your motherfucking lore in your games, im beggin…) But I have been researching a lot of things recently while planning a frankly quite complicated Dragon Age fic, and after reading a lot of very well written meta on tumblr, and also realizing I enjoy writing my own, I thought I’d take a stab at it myself.

One of the main things I’ve been researching is Josephine and her backstory. On a surface level, it is easy to love her. She’s kind and sweet and absolutely adorable. Her romance fuels my entire existence. She is my Wife and I love her character to the ends of the earth.

But as with a lot of the characters newly introduced in Inquisition, she suffers from a scattered plot, a very superficial stance in the political scheme of things (despite being the political ambassador of Inquisition??? hello???), and is often reduced to several one-dimensional tropes that grate on my nerves.

I’m not discrediting people who enjoy her character as it is. Hell, I spent years loving her story as it is. But I am doing this as an aspiring writer and lover of stories, and a lover of complex, nuanced characters. I see Josephine as a character, much like many others in Dragon Age, who has so much potential to be more. I also see her story in the base game as being quite solid in itself, but is presented in a very scattered, messy way, that you as a player character, might not understand the full impact of.

This series is going to be equal parts laying down the lore of Josephine and the Montilyet family, in a way that people can easily understand and build their own meta and headcanons off, and also for me to speculate and build on my own meta that I’ve been working on. I’m not sure how many parts it’s going to be, we’ll take things as they come.

If you’ve made it this far, kudos for listening to this dude ramble for a thousand words. The real shit comes in a bit. Hope you enjoy.

(Josie in this picture is so me coded when I’m ranting in my Word document so I had to leave this here.)

[mcbethins]

I’m bored so I came to bother you😇 firstly why are your fics so freaking refreshingly beautiful!!? Secondly, how do you get in a creative space to write and produce something that amazing? Third your omegaverse stuff is quenching my thirst it’s so good and sexy at the same time! I’m excited for updates.

Welp, that’s pretty much what I wanted to say

P.s. You and Michael being friends is the best thing that’s ever happened to subscorp, I will forever enjoy the fics she’s produced as well.

ANON THIS IS TOO MUCH 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Gosh I don't know, anon, I just...subscorp is everything my writing muse desires. It literally made me pick up writing again after a long drought and hasn't let me go! I'm very character focused and like to explore the messy psychology and interpersonal dynamics of it all and these two have so much rich emotional complexity to play with 😊

❤️‍🔥On a simpler note, Fire & Ice babyyyy it just makes sense❤️‍🔥

I don't really do anything special, I sort of just feel like it or have an idea and start typing! My best work happens at 4 AM which isn't ideal but here we are xD Sometimes Michael and I will yell about MK to eachother until we both end up starting new WIPs 😂

You can thank @hey-michael-young-history for my forray into omegaverse! I've always secretly enjoyed it, but wasn't brave enough to give it a shot until she inspired me to do it! 🥰 I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I'm having a lot of fun with it and there's definitely more in the works 😁

Anon, you gon make me cryyyy 🥺 Michael's friendship is also one of the best things thats happened to me personally 🥰🥰🥰 I've been working on a piece for her that takes place in her omegaverse (such an honor!) and hopefully it will be finished soon :)

Thank you so much for your kind words and appreciation! You are so sweet and it really made my day! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[thatgirl4815]

Hi! I'm the anon who sent the ask about the fight in Sand's apartment. In light of the ask you just got about Ray hate, I want to clarify that I do not hate Ray! He is my pookie and I love him, just as Sand is my pookie and I love him. I have all the empathy in the world for Ray finally getting his chance to be with Mew in the worst possible way, and I expect that he knows deep down that this isn't going to work out the way he wants it to - but he had to take the chance anyway. It honestly feels like a form of self-harm for him (or at least accepting the love he thinks he deserves). And I will still have all the empathy in the world when it inevitably blows up in his face. Honestly, I hope he gets the chance to see for himself that a relationship with Mew isn't what he's been imagining it to be because of the ways Mew himself is flawed, and that he gets a chance to feel dissatisfied with it in his own right rather than Mew just throwing him over for Top. Honestly, I don't think his behaviour toward Sand up to this point has been anything to criticise overmuch - they're both guilty of letting the lines blur, and touting the "we're just friends with benefits" party line when that lines up less and less with how they were acting. Sand saying they weren't friends isn't entirely fair - I do think their friendship was honest, even if there was more romantic interest than either was admitting to. Still, it's good that he finally drew the line and admitted it isn't what he wants. And Ray admitting to romantic interest of his own is also good, even if the I can have feelings for as many people as I want, but don't you dare make out with anyone else display was not it. I want the jealousy from Ray not to punish him, but because I think it's important to their relationship progression that he either develops or acknowledges the strength of that romantic interest (especially in contrast to his Mew feels) if they're going to have a hope of being endgame. And I want Sand to remember he's a catch and deserves someone who wants him wholeheartedly. (And if that's Ray, apologises for calling him a whore.) Anyway, sorry if you felt like I wanted Ray punished by the narrative - I wanted to give you a better explanation of where I'm coming from in case my ask was upsetting!

Hi! No need to apologize at all! :) As I said before, I think everybody's opinion on this is valid because it's ultimately such a messy situation. I think my biggest point is that having empathy for both Sand and Ray makes the viewing experience that much more rich and complex. Nobody is 100% good or 100% bad.

For the record, I also want Ray to feel jealousy. I want Ray to hurt for all the hurt that he has caused Sand (and as the catalyst for showing him just how much he cares about Sand). And I agree that up until this point, Ray hasn't really done too much bad to Sand aside from calling him a whore. He hasn't been super upfront with Sand about his feelings for Mew, but he didn't owe him that in the beginning, and even recently he tried to open a dialogue about it, but Sand is the one who shut it down.

Where things get messy is in what is said besides what is implicitly understood. I agree that Sand and Ray's friendship is honest, and I also think that their romantic pull to each other has been a dominant force in that relationship; they might not have vocalized it, but I don't believe for a moment that either of them ever thought this was purely a friendship (besides maybe episode 2?). The problem is denial. Ray is denying because of Mew. And he knows it. I'd argue that Ray is very aware of his affection for Sand, but he isn't allowing himself to consider it too deeply lest it take away from his feelings for Mew.

It's like when you develop a hyperfixation, and while in that hyperfixation you start getting interested in something else, and the thought of liking anything more than your hyperfixation starts to freak you out so you immediately start to shut down the new interest. (Does that make sense? Maybe that's a bad analogy, but I have that experience a lot haha).

[mermaidsirennikita]

I also read the Maiden Lane series (I finished the last book last week) and I actually think book 2 was my favorite, I devoured it, I think all the negative reviews there are on Goodreads made me lower my expectations and I was so pleasantly surprised. It was such a different “ballroom romance” and never afraid of going to more difficult and “immoral” places. I think generally speaking there is too much purity discourse around historical romance and I was just surprised by how unapologetically messy all the characters are in her books. Do you have other books with that vibe? Also thank you a lot for the rec cause I think my perception of what makes a good historical series totally changed after reading her books

I'm so glad you liked it! That book gets a bad rep because it is "cheating", which I think is so unfair tbh. I don't feel like historical romance cheating is often the same thing as contemporary cheating, lol. Was Hero engaged? Sure. Did she have any feelings for that man or vice versa? No. Her brother was forcing her into the relationship. She had no true power. Her giving her virginity to a man who was not her intended was truly one of the only acts of agency available to her, and it was risky as hell.

But yeah, a lot of historical readers, unfortunately, are there to basically act out their purity fantasies. Like, it's fine if the characters fuck outside of wedlock, but only if it's monumental and viewed with shame. Non-virgins must be widows. Sex should result in pregnancy, etc. There's not a lot of consideration given to the fact that a) these books are inherently inaccurate and b) even if they were true to life, people had casual (by the standards of the time) back then, many marriages occurred because sex was had out of wedlock, people anticipated the wedding often, women took lovers. Not everyone felt this huge amount of guilt over it. Hoyt is so good at that.

For a similar vibe, I would absolutely recommend Joanna Shupe, who wrote a few Regencies, a few Victorians, and mostly Gilded Age books. Her characters love sex and are immensely messy (so much drama, so many revenge plots, so many heroines defying their fathers, so much excess) aaand often make bad decisions at first. I would recommend basically anything by her, but standouts include:

The Uptown Girls Trilogy: About three daughters of a rich New York man--the oldest one, who fucks daddy's lawyer/fixer; the rebellious middle child, who asks a casino owner to mentor her but dun dun DUN he really wants to ruin her dad; the baby angel, who gets tangled up with a gangster.

Fifth Avenue Rebels: Four friends get into some bullshit after a messy Newport party--the first is childhood friends to lovers with a heroine engaged to another man; sex lessons by a himbo rake to a shy wallflower type; former fiancees who hate each other hooking up at a masked sex party; and two assholes who've been circling each other the whole series finally becoming fuckbuddies, except he wants LOVE.

My Dirty Duke: a novella about a heroine who wants her father's BFF

Wicked Deceptions: her Regency books about: a duchess who disguises herself as a courtesan to get pregnant by the husband that abandoned her; a former scandal of a woman tangling with an uptight earl; a woman who cross dresses in order to do some good in the world getting found out by her dude friend who thinks he's going insane.

Nicola Davidson writes some fun books about people who walk on the wild side--she especially focuses on sex and queer issues. Start with her novellas, like Seven Sinful Nights (heroine agrees to be bad man's mistress for a week to avoid. her horrid in-laws) or Duke for Hire (the heroine pays a down on his luck duke to deflower her). Davidson does a lot of research and is super knowledgeable about things like sex toys, sex work, etc, in the past.

Eva Leigh writes really frank, honest books with morally complex characters. Lady Viper and The Bastard is her Georgian novella about a pair of rivals (both in their 40s) who fall in love as they scheme to tear two lovers apart; her Last Chance Scoundrels trilogy is a really good series about three friends (two of whom are brothers) who have to find wives within a year after ruining a much-vaunted wedding. Does a good job of exploring a more diverse (in several ways) England with artistic circles and parties and hedonism. Offers characters from both aristocratic and working class backgrounds.

Adriana Herrera's Las Leonas series focuses on a group of friends who leave the modern Dominican Republic and go to Paris to find love. The first book is m/f, the second f/f. They explore a world you rarely see in historicals, with sex (not all straight) and politics and art and subversive thinking.

You might also like Sierra Simone's historicals--she writes great erotic romance. Try The Chasing of Eleanor Vane (m/f, heroine is engaged to a loser but is seduced by his older uncle) and The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind (m/m, one hero abducts the other for revenge, BDSM ensues), and The Conquering of Tate the Pious (f/f medieval, abbess falls in love with a lady conqueror who also conquers ladies).

Stacy Reid writes some deliciously messy books that sometimes feel like send-ups to old school historicals. Try her Wedded by Scandal series, which I love, featuring absolutely nobody who isn't messy, and tons of public sex.

Grace Callaway writes some really hot, fun, messy, mystery-solving historicals. Give her Lady Charlotte's Society of Angels series a try. It's Charlie's Angels, but historical, and these girls are constantly getting into trouble and falling for men who go "I must spank yhou for this, 10% as punishment and 90% because I'm hard". They're delightful.

Of course, you should definitely try Sarah MacLean as well. Her Rules of Scoundrels series (my favorite) focuses on four casino owners; Bareknuckle Bastards centers three outcasts who run Covent Garden; and her current Hell's Belles series focuses on a girl gang of friends who fuck shit up, basically.

Alexis Hall's Something Fabulous is a m/m historical romcom about a pair of heroes who go on a wild goose chase for the uptight one's fiancee after she runs away. The next book, Something Spectacular, focuses on the queer world even further with a genderfluid lead falling for a castrato soprano (fun fact: entirely accurate that castrati GOT THE FUCK LAID EVERYWHERE). If you want less whimsy and more drama, his A Lady for a Duke focuses on a trans heroine falling for a duke and having to deal with telling him about her past. Also something historicals often avoid--queer people have always existed!

[my-breakup-playlist]

Every so often I see those posts to the tune of "if you could go back and tell your past self one thing--"

And I know mine. But also I don't. It's messy and complicated.

Back in high school, I was heavily debating breaking up with my ex. I made pro/con tables. I prayed about it. I consulted my bishop.

That one was probably a mistake-- see, my ex was about to go on his Mission, and a breakup right before would shake his faith, the bishop argued. So he pressed me to stay.

So I did. And when my ex came back, I married him.

I'm pretty sure my time-traveling future self bearing a grave warning would have outweighed religious authority (though not as much as you might think), and I could have avoided this.

But here's the thing:

I grew up in pretty much a walled garden/ivory tower situation. A community all but engineered to keep The Good Ones (rich white conservative Evangelicals) safely cloistered inside, and keep everyone else out.

I only left that place because I moved out of my parents' home and into his hastily-procured studio apartment in the second-shittiest complex available on short notice. Leaving that walled garden and seeing actual people leading actual lives fundamentally changed me as a person-- as did the significantly more liberal group of student-teachers he met a few months later that became our friend group, etc, etc.

Without that big move, I probably would have stayed in that sheltered place. I probably would have stayed religious. I would have been pointedly shielded from the kinds of experiences that would have made me realize I was queer, or anything that might 'radicalize' me to be at all more liberal.

I know for a fact that I would have been shunted into the Singles Ward at church, to be paired off with whoever else would deign to have me.

And I probably would have stayed right there: conservative and religious, probably pressured into having children that I didn't want and couldn't handle.

I know that now because I knew it then. That was the future that was laid out for me.

That pro/con list wasn't about my ex's smile or whatever-- right there on the con list was that I didn't think I loved him. But I knew he was the alternative to that specific future. College was not actually an option-- not when supporting my parents and siblings by waitressing while living in their house was more reliable, and not when my contribution to the household finances was so obviously needed. I was absolutely aware that the only thing that would make me Off Limits to my family as a resource (both to them and to myself, because obligation runs deep) was belonging to My Husband's Household instead.

My ex checked the boxes of being in favor of my education, good with money, and unlikely to physically hurt me-- and, of course, being willing to marry me. I didn't have a guarantee that any future opportunities would meet those qualifications, let alone do better.

It wasn't a mistake born of passion and naivete. It was a calculated, carefully thought-out decision.

And based on the options I had available to me at the time, I think it was the best option I had.

[usuimisaki]

Why do I like reading shoujo so much?

My first reaction is to deflect. That’s how society is. Adults write and write sordid stories about teenagers all the time, a la Gossip Girl and Euphoria. Furthermore, we live in a man’s world, and men gobble up stuff which is ostensibly for boys: superheroes and their ilk. But when women fangirl over stuff ostensibly for girls we’re belittled for being juvenile.

Even if it’s not an unusual problem, it still begs the question why. Why is the world so preoccupied with youth to the point that they have characters who are literal minors? I’ve actually read and enjoyed multiple josei works, but they’ve never inspired the type of hyperfixation that shoujo manga has inspired. Josei and seinen are complex and messy. I accept that messiness. But with shoujo like KWMS and GSNK things are simpler. There’s more room to play. The characters, no matter how developed, are still literally undeveloped. This can inspire future fic of what the characters will be like as adults. It also makes them more malleable. High schoolers exist in a liminal space. They can go anywhere, be anything. They have choices and the freedom to take those choices in hand.

Adult manga (not sexually explicit, but dealing with adulthood) is about limits. The characters are getting old. They’re leaving dreams behind. They’re settling in their careers or accepting that their relationships aren’t ideal. They’re compromising—because reality. Besides romance and friends, they also have to deal with a job and taking care of their parents and/or taking care of kids. I love these kinds of stories because they are a mirror of my own life, or things that I can realistically imagine having to deal with.

My high school days are behind me, and I have to say, I didn’t enjoy them that much. The teenage dramas I read about are less a reminder of my high school days than a high school fantasy—one where school is more of a background than a concern and parents hardly even make an appearance.

Contrast this to office worker josei. Even the most sexually explicit manga where you’d think the office space is just a convenient setting always has some office drama which is ultimately about worker competency. Love is Hard for Otaku is mostly about dating and being an otaku, but fitting into office culture and being competent at your job is inseparable part of it as well.

KWMS is actually fairly complex for shoujo. It acknowledges that some students have financial difficulties and it has Misaki compete with Usui academically and studying for college entrance exams is a big plot line, but most of the time she’s more concerned about school council activities in a hyperbolic manner. And despite the series being about the contrast between being a school president and a maid, more of the storylines center on her part-time job at the maid cafe. She enters into a relationship with a rich foreigner with a tragic backstory which causes them to have to endure a long-distance relationship. But somehow they overcome all of that. And Misaki’s family’s dire financial straits get resolved even before she marries into the .01%.

GSNK though? Those kids must all be frickin’ rich. They never seem to have any concerns about having money to go out to a cafe, buy manga, or buy clothes. Kashima is the only one with a job, and she’s probably just working there because the cafe needs staff. There’s maybe one chapter where three not-so-great students try to study together with poor results—but since these students aren’t very academically focused, it’s just played off for laughs. The best student (Kashima) also has some of the least common sense. The one with the actual least common sense (Wakamatsu) is the second best student out of the cast. The only time we’ve seen parents are when it was played for laughs how Nozaki could live away from home because 1) he had his own money and 2) he knew how to cook, though he was lacking in 3) romantic experience.

Shoujo is about the possibility of love, and that when you do fall in love, that it’s going to last a lifetime. It’s about one true pairings.

Josei is about navigating new relationships with the scars of your previous relationships. One of my favorite josei series, Kimi was Petto, is all about that. It’s about the uncertainty that the relationship you’re in is good enough to stand the test of time, the realities of finances, career, social pressure, familial acceptance, and sense of self.

Shoujo hardly ever touches on those topics, preferring to create a love triangle for manufactured conflict. Again, KWMS is a bit of an exception. There’s definitely the love triangle aspect because you need to look at the different possibilities without, like, having had those other possibilities, but it does at least address class differences and different family culture and how that can lead to social pressure for college and career paths (which is why Usui goes to college in the UK and Misaki feels like she needs to get into a more competitive college). In the meantime, Tsubaki-sensei has acknowledged her fans’ with for an endless summer, so that Hori will never graduate and go to college—which is kind of odd, considering that there’s a college so local that they work at the same cafe as Kashima. But still, if Hori were to be a college student, then he wouldn’t haunt the hallways of Roman Academy or be able to interact with Kashima in drama club.

So let’s get to the gist of it. Why do I write smut with high school characters. Well, I love these characters. And they’re in high school. And I’m a sucker for canon. So it makes sense to set these sex scenes in high school. It’s not that I’ve never aged up these characters, but when I do I run into problems, like the fact that Misaki and Usui don’t live in same country. Or that Hori and Kashima are actually dealing with some actual drama about their future careers and how to define a relationship. Or they have kids, which are a huge impediment to having sex.

I recently read about centering lives around friendship instead of romantic relationships, and what it is that creates barriers for friendships, platonic or not. You need to have time and a shared space and touch. Two of the three are really easy to come by in school, where you don’t just spend 8 hours a day kind of goofing off on your parents’ dime, but you also live close together. Not to dismiss the huge pressure some students have to study and get into an elite college, but you do have more free time on your hands as a student, just because you don’t have to spend that time paying bills or cleaning your own house. I really don’t know how Nozaki does it.

[davekat-sucks]

since this topic is making the rounds of controversy AGAIN I will confess something: i genuinely don't get how gamzee or damara are offensive, even though i am what the nu fandom would call a "poc" (hate that term, sounds stupid). i find damara relatable and hilarious as fuck even, and i love her design, she is obviously based on azula to accompany rufioh's dante basco reference; but suddenly my opinion and life experiences don't count or deserve to be heard because i don't agree with these americans with "white savior complex" as they call it? so hypocritical. and honestly i find all this "coding" shit people associate with gamzee despite him being based on fucking clown rappers to be the real racism. what, are people gonna tell me irl clowns are offensive too because they use poofy wigs and face paint? lets boycott ronald mcdonald too then, or ship him with gamzee, both work. #fuckclowns #clussy #gamzeexronaldmcdonaldSWEEP #shitsbetterthandavekatanyways

idk im just tired and i cant believe people are still fighting about this shit, if anything wouldn't that just prove that fandom activism amounts to nothing on the long run except alienation, sucking the joy out of everything and making people uncomfortable to create content for these characters and thus, ironically, giving minorities less representation? it's the circle of stupidity man

I don't think Damara is based on Azula. But more of people finding Aradia dressing in Asian attire like kimonos or cheongsam beautiful and would headcanon her to be Asian. Even if her first name is based on an work that are pagan text in found Italy and the last name based on a location in Israel that the Bible prophesizes that it will be the final battlefield for end times, people think Aradia as Asian was better. Anime on the rise probably added fuel to this. Nobody gave a shit about an Asian lady being a lower class because of the hemospectrum lowblood implications. And even if it did, people think it would be about her overcoming her high class rich oppressor. But then, people would be too focused on Condesce being black because of her being technically Meenah, showing that it was a BLACK WOMAN who started the oppression in the first place. No one gets mad that a black woman was trying to beat and kill an Asian woman. Asian people today in this modern era, may as well be white. And I'm Filipino, who may as well be leaned to white if don't agree with my white LGBT saviors. People being upset about Gamzee being black just because of his crazy messy hair style, people assume it was an AFRO. And I mean afro afro ROUND afro. Tell me, how is a messy unkempt hair style equal AFRO SO HE IS BLACK.

They might as well say bedhead hairstyles mean it is only for black people. While they forget black people aren't the only ones with afros. Do people accuse Bob Ross as black appropriation because he as an afro? NO! There are people, regardless of skin color, that have different hairstyles! Whether they are American, Mexican, etc!

I don't mind Damara being some Asian stereotype. In fact, as a Filipino, I find it funny! My parents would joke themselves of eating dogs and it is still funny to them! Her being a bitchy slutty Asian girl is fine! Isn't her role of working for the bigger bad cool enough or complex that she would go through this lengths to get back at her bully interesting? I guess not to others. Sometimes people who have been depicted as Asian with some joke or vague stereotype attached them, approved of being shown like this! Remember that Asian guy in Courage the Cowardly Dog that says "WATCH WHERE YOU GOIN' YA FOOL!" The creator based it on a RL friend he knew. And that Real Life friend gave his OWN VOICE for it too that we hear today. He didn't mind and actually approves of this character! He would later to go on to voice him in episodes that star him too! And there are people like dumb YouTubers who talk about cartoons, think it is racist, when it is NOT! It's like they assume Trey Parker and Matt Stone pointed a gun at Isaac Hayes to let his voice stay for black racist jokes, when it's not the case and he know what he was going into and didn't mind it! Him drawing the line at mocking Sciencetology is not the same as him thinking he hated all the black jokes he had to deal with in South Park. Can we just go back to letting people headcanon a character whatever they want? If someone wants to blackwash Tom from Eddsworld despite the character being a white British man? Fine. If people wanted to draw the Homestuck kids as anime characters with light skin? It's fine too. Let people do whatever the fuck they want. If someone wants to draw the characters as they appeared in the series, it's fine too! Nobody is racist or homophobic or anything for liking a character a different way! I don't need some bitch with multiple pronouns and LGBT flag emojis on their profile to tell me that my Asian depictions in Hollywood and TV shows are bad or limited. I find more representation in ANIME than there. And if they say "THERE ARE NO PINOYS OR PHILIPPINE CHARACTERS IN HOLLYWOOD OR MAINSTREAM MEDIA!" All I got to say is, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I just want to see if my anime, manga, video game, TV show, comic, movie, etc is enjoyable and has cool characters. I don't care about the skin or ethnicity. I want to see them go through cool shit! And when there is a rare moment of one making a decent series, nobody props them up for their originality. They rather care about a raceswapped modern updated version of Superman than something actually new! I don't see people praising Trese as a step for Philippines in comic industry after it got a Netflix Adaption. Raya and the Last Dragon was the better one because of the vague Southeast Asian Disney princess compared to a badass woman killing monsters!

Modern fandom culture is a poison and I desperately want it gone. But it's gonna be years before that will happen. It started to seep in 2014-16 and doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon in the 2020s.

[unitedstatesofworld]

Rolling Through Love: The Sweet and Tangy World of Jelly Roll Relationships

Relationships, much like a jelly roll, are layered, sweet, and a bit sticky. Whether you're new to the term or have heard it tossed around before, "jelly roll relationships" might just be the perfect analogy for the romantic rollercoaster you're on. Picture this: soft, sweet layers of love, all rolled up with a sticky filling of emotions, passion, and a few unexpected twists. Intrigued? The sticky goodness and see what makes jelly roll relationships such a unique and captivating dynamic.

What Are Jelly Roll Relationships?

Layers of Love and Connection

At its core, a jelly roll relationship is about layers—lots and lots of them. Just like the desert, these relationships have a foundation that’s sweet and soft but come with layers that need careful attention and maintenance. Imagine rolling up love, trust, communication, and a bit of drama into one tight package. It sounds delightful, but if not handled properly, things can get messy fast.

Jelly roll relationships are often characterized by:

Intense Emotional Bonds: The “filling” of the relationship is usually rich with passion, emotions, and sometimes even drama.

Complexity: With so many layers, things aren’t always straightforward. These relationships require effort, understanding, and a willingness to navigate through the tangy bits.

Surprises: Much like a jelly roll might have a surprise filling, these relationships often come with unexpected twists—good and bad.

Why Do We Fall for Jelly Roll Relationships?

So, why are people drawn to jelly roll relationships? The answer is simple: they’re exciting! The rollercoaster of emotions, the deep connection, and the thrill of the unknown make these relationships incredibly alluring. People who crave intensity and depth often find themselves in jelly roll relationships, reveling in the highs and sometimes even the lows.

The Sweetness of Jelly Roll Relationships

Passion and Chemistry

One of the biggest draws of jelly roll relationships is the passion. When things are good, they’re really good. The chemistry between partners can be electric, making every moment feel like it’s charged with energy. This passion can bring out the best in both partners, pushing them to grow, connect, and explore their relationship on a deeper level.

Pro Tip: To keep the passion alive, don’t be afraid to explore new things together—whether it’s a hobby, travel, or even just trying a new restaurant.

Emotional Intimacy

In a jelly roll relationship, emotional intimacy is often at its peak. The connection between partners is deep, and there’s a strong sense of understanding and empathy. This kind of bond is rare and can be incredibly fulfilling.

Pro Tip: Communication is key to maintaining emotional intimacy. Make time to talk—really talk—about your feelings, dreams, and concerns.

Excitement and Adventure

Let’s face it: jelly roll relationships are anything but boring. The constant twists and turns keep things exciting and can make the relationship feel like an adventure. If you’re someone who loves spontaneity, this might be the perfect relationship style for you.

Pro Tip: Embrace the adventure! Plan surprise dates, spontaneous trips, or just do something out of the ordinary to keep the excitement alive.

The Sticky Parts of Jelly Roll Relationships

Emotional Overload

With great passion comes great responsibility—or, in this case, emotional overload. Jelly roll relationships can be overwhelming at times, with emotions running high and conflicts flaring up more often than in other relationship styles. This can lead to burnout if not managed properly.

Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to take a step back and breathe. It’s okay to have some time apart to recharge and regain perspective.

Communication Breakdown

Given the intensity of jelly roll relationships, communication is crucial. However, with so much going on, it’s easy for things to get lost in translation. Misunderstandings can quickly escalate into full-blown arguments if both partners aren’t careful.

Pro Tip: Make sure to practice active listening. Sometimes, just hearing your partner out can diffuse a situation before it gets out of hand.

The Roller Coaster Effect

While the highs of a jelly roll relationship can be exhilarating, the lows can be equally devastating. The emotional ups and downs can create a rollercoaster effect, leaving both partners feeling drained and uncertain at times.

Pro Tip: Establish a strong support system outside of your relationship. Friends, family, or even a therapist can provide valuable perspectives and support during tough times.

How to Roll with It: Navigating Jelly Roll Relationships

Set Boundaries

In any relationship, but especially in a jelly roll relationship, boundaries are crucial. Knowing what’s okay and what’s not helps both partners feel secure and respected.

Pro Tip: Have an open conversation about boundaries early on. Revisit them as the relationship evolves to make sure you’re both on the same page.

Keep the Communication Flowing

It can’t be stressed enough: communication is the lifeblood of a jelly roll relationship. Without it, things can get sticky—fast. Make sure to check in with your partner regularly and express how you’re feeling.

Pro Tip: Use “I” statements when discussing your feelings. This can help prevent your partner from feeling attacked and keep the conversation constructive.

Embrace the Sweet and the Tangy

Jelly roll relationships are a mix of sweet and tangy moments. Embracing both sides of the equation is key to making the relationship work. Remember, it’s the contrast that makes the relationship dynamic and keeps things interesting.

Pro Tip: Celebrate the sweet moments and learn from the tangy ones. Every experience is an opportunity to grow closer.

Conclusion

Jelly roll relationships are as sweet, sticky, and satisfying as the dessert they’re named after. They come with their fair share of challenges, but for those who are drawn to deep connections and a bit of excitement, they can be incredibly rewarding. Whether you’re already in a jelly roll relationship or curious about exploring one, remember to embrace the layers, communicate openly, and enjoy the sweet moments as they come. After all, love is all about rolling with the punches—and the sweetness!

[shakespearean-snape]

Part of what made my brain do a little "ah ha!" at the Harry and Ron and Snape and Lily comparison is that in either case the friendship could be read as wholly platonic or not (though much more has been made of Harry and Draco's dynamic, especially when he became a boy wholly obsessed during sixth year when he just knew he was Death Eater and no one would listen to him which also makes me go ah ha! for how that tends to parallel with a young Snape and how he must have felt similarly where Remus Lupin was concerned but that's a whole other thing, point being Harry and Snape tend to parallel a lot) and how much easier it tends to be for people to see Snape and Lily's dynamic as something strictly romantic (and unfortunately quite predatorily sexual from a far too young an age to be comfortable for me that anyone is reading sexual intentions in the interactions of small children even if only because some people tend to take Voldemort's perception as fact rather than an intentional canon point that Voldemort doesn't understand love beyond desire) over Harry and Ron's friendship.

Importantly, I think that a romantic relationship doesn't always have to carry sexual connotations. There are plenty of people who form romantic, non-sexual relationships. Just like there are many different kinds of love, romance and romantic relationships can look like different things to different people. For me though, the initial fascination was Harry's loss of his friendship with Ron and the way he took it so hard could be for all of the reasons I speculated and we could still read his feelings for Ron as either purely platonic or gay or something more complicated and the specifics of that don't in anyway change the fact that Harry also just feels miserable not talking to Ron because he was his first real friend and connection to the magical world and I just think that perfectly encapsulates what my greatest issue is with the idea Lily's only importance to Snape was because of a possible romantic interest, that without that romantic interest losing her would lose some of its impact.

I think sometimes when discussing romance, especially heteronormative readings of it (which JKR is the worst at for all she wants to rage against the dangers of "evil trans people" in public spaces, her idea of heteronormative romance is about as dated as her second-wave feminist views on gender and gender roles and toxic even by 90s standards of how "males and females" should relate to each other and probably leave her conflicted in the same way she is about Snape as a character because omg let me tell you second-wave feminism at its core had this idea that women could achieve equality by rejecting feminine coded/domestic spheres and carving out a place in the male coded/patriarchal space so you have Hermione with her radical rejection of all things feminine coded by her standards and her sheer disdain for it all because she's not like the other girls and Umbridge who is super pink and frilly and feminine and EVIL and then Snape and you begin to see just how messy a space JKR's head must be trying to unpack gender as we understand it today and as this new gen of readers she's confronted with experience things as a reality and because she's always been petty af let's be real her anxieties and lashing out with transphobia is a thing she just doubles down on because god forbid this white woman with an upper-middle-class traditional English education who got famous off her rags to riches narrative all the same is not going to check her privilege and accept she has anything left to learn, ok sorry rant over!) people get so caught up in the "romance" part they forget all the additional nuances of what it means to have a relationship with someone and that how we form bonds and connections are often more complex than just so long as we love the person in our loves romantically the loss of them is something more profound.

I just think of all those people who fall in and out of romantic love but who continue to share a connection or bond because they know each other on the kind of deeper level you do when spending years in each other's lives. Alternatively, I think of people who spend years together, in each other's lives existing at first only ever as friends and maybe they fall in romantic love at some point but that is only a new component of a connection that has been ongoing for a significant part of their lives and even if it had never happened it wouldn't have made the loss of each other any less profound or painful.

I don't know, maybe I'm not making any sense because I'm already a few morning coffees in, but I just think of how we sometimes get caught up in the cliches of great romantic love stories and forget how human connection outside of that goes much deeper and can be much more complex. Because Snape and Lily are a boy and girl, and to be fair likely because JKR subscribes to very dated and heteronormative views on gender relations, people ascribe romantic feelings to their relationship and even when it isn't read as a negative and people just ship it, I get the sense that perceptually what Lily meant to Snape can sometimes begin and end at "he loved her romantically and even though it was unrequited her loss was profound enough he loved her, always." And that's not to knock anyone who enjoys the romance of that idea, I can fully understand getting caught up in the beauty of the idea of someone loving you so faithfully and fully as someone who grew up watching my parents love each other that way and wanting that too.

It's just to say, love is more than just romance (just as romance and romantic relationships exclude sexual desire or sex and still be equally valid) in the sense that Snape could have loved Lily as a friend or romantically and Harry could have loved Ron as either but what they meant to each other went beyond just platonic or romantic, there was a connection formed between them that included other more complex feelings and significance that tied them together and made the loss of that connection something felt and painful.

I don't know, I just feel there's some very interesting material there for conversation in those kind of parallels. In large part because looking at a friendship between Harry and Ron and paralleling it with Snape and Lily also forces people to step outside heteronormative perspectives and think about issues like that and other things like do we ascribed romance easier to one over the other or do we read the intentions of Harry differently than Snape in his friendship to Ron, etc? There's a lot there for me and I'll probably be thinking on it all week now, so thanks!

looking back at the harry potter books with like… actual time frames you realise that the most ron’s ever gone without really talking to harry was like two weeks but everyone always makes such a bigger deal out of it because harry is the one who makes a gigantic deal out of it. i think the fandom should make fun of him more for how dramatic he gets when fighting with ron.

you read the books and each time ron doesn’t talk to harry the narration is like. harry woke up feeling miserable. he turned to talk to ron but then remembered they aren’t talking and that made him start wallowing in his own sadness. there’s no point in going to the great hall, he can’t eat. he spent the potions class looking at ron who decided to sit with seamus instead of him. he was so busy staring at ron wishing they could make up he didn’t notice his cauldron exploding. snape is screaming but ron is still not talking to him. he has detention? big deal. if ron was there they would have detention together