#if anyone who lives in buffalo is looking for a side hustle
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egg-tats Β· 2 years ago
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@cosmos-chaos:
#if you think that’s bad imagine being in new zealand lmao
you know, interesting point. if canada's this bad I can only imagine how bad shipping from the USA to a small island on the literal other side of the planet. lemme check the prices right quick:
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damn, 22.50 USD for shipping, damn near doubling the price. I like the notebooks and socks but not enough to pay basically twice as much. let's see, as a fun lil example, how much it costs to get something to missisauga (for my non-canadian friends, this is one of the major suburbs of toronto, about an hours drive from the US border. 2 and a half hours by transit!)
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well damn. that;s 48 MORE american cents. did we start arming niagra falls or some shit?
like, we're not just complaining, it's actually unbelievable how expensive shipping is from our nearest geographic neighbor. and there's a nonzero change that package makes it to aukland before toronto
(fun fact: there's actually less shipping options for toronto than for my city! if I give it my parents postal code in nova scotia it's only 19.77! unless you've got a boat or a plane you need to pass through at least 2 other provinces to get between here and the border.)
god i literally considered buying tumblr merch. some of that shit is kind of cool, and I'll pay 3 USD for a sheet of cute stickers
but shipping to Canada is 20 bucks minimum. before conversion. please Americans stop using fedex and ups just let me use the cheapest possible option from usps its better I promise
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kee-writestrashh Β· 6 years ago
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Guns for Hire
Ramsay Bolton x Reader
Ao3
Summary:Β  You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events...
Chapter 4: Friday Night Brawls
You adjusted your green and red elf skirt, placed your little hat on, and gave yourself one last look in the mirror. You frowned thinking of all the clothes and outfits you would probably never be able to wear again when summer rolled around.
You loved dressing up for holidays. Ramsay wasn't a fan, but money was money. This costume was a bit more modest as you wore tights under the skirt because it was cold as shit. Thankfully the snow had been put on hold.
You walked into the living room. Ramsay was sprawled out on the couch watching TV and biting at his nails.
"Alright, baby. I gotta go." You said stopping at the end of the couch.
"Take the Nova." Ramsay said, sitting up as you walked in. He held out the keys.
You narrowed your eyes, "why?"
"Because I said. Be a good girl. Don't argue."
You took the keys and leaned down to kiss your husband. He pulled you down into his lap and kissed you hungrily. You melted into him as he kissed across your jaw and worried what was surely a large and very prominent hickey on your neck. He often liked to mark you before you went to work. You were his and he wasn't about to let anyone forget that.
He finally let go of you. You smiled, giving him one last quick kiss. He slapped your ass when you turned around to leave.
"I'll see you later?" You asked, opening the front door and glancing back at your husband.
He simply nodded.
Γ—Γ—Γ—
You walked through the backdoor, hanging up your keys and then hanging up your purse in a locker, exchanging it for your waist apron.
"Oly! I'm here!" You called, glancing around. The bar didn't open officially for another thirty minutes tonight, so it was just you and Olyvar until the new girls showed up.
"Up front! Finishing the decorations!" Olyvar's voice called.
You walked into the cavernous, empty bar. Olyvar too was dressed as an elf, in his green tunic and red tights. He was standing on the counter hanging the last of the Christmas lights.
"Be a dear and plug them in?" Your coworker asked.
You followed the trail of lights to the outlet and plugged them in.
Olyvar jumped down from the counter, jingling as he did so from his bells on his slippers and hat, admiring his handiwork.
"Not too shabby." You said, looking around the festive place. "So, what company?"
"Lion Gate." Olyvar said, walking behind the counter, grabbing two glasses and pouring out two shots.
You felt a panic surge through you. Lion Gate was owned by Tywin Lannister, head of the Rampant Lions. The Rampant Lions and the Red Kings had been at war in the city and surrounding areas for a long time. While Ramsay was heir to the Red Kings, he had formed his own little gang, the Bastard's Boys that he kept busy with the most. If the Lannister's showed up, it was sure to be trouble. What were they playing at? They didn't hold any ground or footing on this side of town.
"What were you thinking? They can't come here. If Ramsay finds out..." You began as Olyvar downed his shot.
"We are one of the best places in the city of a Friday night. And, money is money."
Olyvar pushed the second glass to you, but you shook your head. "I can't."
Olyvar scrunched his brow before realization spread over his face and he practically squealed like a teenage girl.
"Oh. My. God! How exciting! When did you find out? What was Ramsay like? Tell me everything!" He said, smiling broadly.
Olyvar was one of your oldest friends. He had started working at the bar when you did, both putting yourselves through school. But when the bar owner died he had split the place between you both. Olyvar did work from time to time for Ramsay, selling things on the side. He was like a brother to you, and it didn't hurt that he was into men. You assumed this to be the only reason Ramsay never said anything about you talking to him, or being friendly with him.
You took a seat and smiled, "well, I found out yesterday afternoon after Ramsay left. I've been feeling like shit for like two months now. Cramps. Headaches. Constant upset stomach. And then remembered I hadn't had my period in months. So on the way here I picked up a test and it said yes. I was actually kind if afraid of how Rams would react. We had never talked about it before. So, anyway, I told him last night and he demanded we go get some tests. You know him. Well, I took four. They all said yes. I guess he's excited. But, hard to tell. He doesn't really express excitement. Then he made me an appointment this morning and the doctor said I was about eight or nine weeks. Heard the heartbeat and I wanted to cry. It was so amazing. I have an appointment on the third to get an ultrasound done." You gushed, glad to have someone to tell.
"Little baby Bolton. This city is not ready for that." Olyvar said with a laugh.
You laughed. He was not wrong. There was a knock on the front door. You glanced at the clock. 4:45. You got up from your stool and walked to the front door, letting Damon and Ben in. You gave them both smiles, which they didn't really return.
Ramsay probably religiously threatened them to not look at you. He was a very scary person when angry, or bored. Whichever.
"We're streaming the fight tonight. Sure we'll be fine with only four of us and the two in the kitchen?" Olyvar asked turning on the various TV screens.
"Yeah. I think. Sorry, I forgot all about the fight. But we've had bigger events with fewer. Maybe could have done with a couple extra hands in the kitchen though. See if you can get anyone else to come in to kitchen duty?" You said, as two girls walked in.
Roslin was a quiet college student, who was looking to make a bit of extra money. She wasn't overly pretty with her dull eyes and mousy Brown hair, but she wasn't ugly either. But you weren't sure bartending would be something she was cut out for. She was timid and you were afraid of men taking advantage of her innocence as far as the bar scene went. But you had hired her anyways. Remembering how you were when you had first come here. And now look at you. Wife to the heir of a multi million dollar organized crime family.
You had no worries with the other girl, Tyene. She was loud, wild, and more than capable of handling herself. She had been working here for a couple weeks now, and the men loved her. Her dark skin, hair, and eyes made her stand out. Made then men pay extra attention, and money. She was born to hustle and get what she wanted. If she proved her worth, loyalty, and cunning you may talk Ramsay into getting her in with the girls.
"Hey hey!" Tyene cried, putting her reindeer antler headband on.
"Glad to see we all dressed up." You said, grinning broadly, looking the two girls over as Tyene snapped on a big, red blinking nose.
Roslin flushed and gave a timid twirl in her Mrs. Claus dress.
"Alright, so it's us four tonight on the floor. Kitchen will be a bit understaffed, as it's only Mac and Dag, tonight unless we can get a couple more in. So only finger foods and appetizers tonight. Big party coming in, plus the fight. I'm assuming you advertised we were playing it?" You said, glancing at Olyvar, who gave a nod. You left him in charge of the Facebook page and other advertising outlets.
"Great. So, we will be crowded and busy. Anything you make you keep, other than prices of the drinks and food. Remember ladies, they can look, but they cannot touch you. We may not be a strip club, but we follow those same rules. Anyone gives you any problems just raise your fist in the air and Ben or Damon here will come to your aid." You motioned to the two burly men. "Don't let no man give you any shit. Feel free to drink, just remember to pay for it, and stay with it enough to do your jobs. By the time the night is over, you ladies will be very happy." You continued, clapping your hands and glancing at the clock. The two cooks walked into the bar and giving you thumbs up before disappearing into the kitchen to let you know they were there.
As assumed, the bar filled quickly and the volume steadily increased with the flow of liquor, smoke, and smells of greasy buffalo wings, fries, and mountains of nachos.
When the Lion Gate group arrived you didn't recognize anyone that could possibly cause trouble. They seemed to just be regular employees, not gang members. But, you could be wrong. You weren't as good as Ramsay when it came to picking rival gang members out of a crowd. They were a very loud and rowdy group. Both your girls were pocketing bills like crazy, and Olyvar spent his time behind the counter mixing drinks and flirting with a couple guys.
The smoke, smells, and sounds were starting to get to you. Your stomach turned over and you suddenly felt nauseous. A headache was starting to form. You caught Olyvar's attention and mimed taking a 'time out'. He gave you a thumbs up as you disappeared to the safety of the back room.
You sighed, taking a deep breath. You pulled your phone from your apron pocket. It was almost ten. Only another hour.
You sat at a small table, resting your head on it for awhile, trying to compose yourself and fighting the urge to throw up when the police scanner in the corner sounded.
"All available units to seventy fifth and Trident. Multiple gunshot wounds. Back up requested immediately."
'No mans land.' you thought to yourself with a frown. What was Ramsay up to? Nobody every held that stretch very long.
After awhile you got a hold of yourself, stood up, and pulled a water bottle from the employee fridge, and chugged half of it before getting back to work.
"(Y/n)!" Olyvar called. You glanced over at him, who nodded to the corner to Roslin.
She was being harassed by a couple of men. Tyene was across the room cutting up with a group, and Damon and Ben were busy keeping a fight from breaking out. You frowned, clenching your jaw and stomping over to the corner.
Roslin's eyes were wide in pleading when you appeared at her side. One of the men grabbed her ass.
"Excuse me, sir. But you are not allowed to touch my girls. Release her and keep your hands to yourself or you will be asked to leave." You said, pulling Roslin away, and shielding her.
The man laughed, grabbing your hip. "Oh come on baby, it's just a bit of fun. Get into the holiday spirit. I could make it worth your while." He slammed a stack of bills on the table with a drunken laugh.
You stepped back, but his grip tightened. You narrowed your eyes at the man, "get out of my bar."
He laughed, releasing his grip and slapping your ass. You brought your hand up to slap him, but he caught your wrist.
"Or what, doll? You'll call the police?"
A hand landed on the man's shoulder and you looked to see Ramsay flanked by five men. He gripped the man's shoulder until the man squirmed in pain, fury painted all over his face.
"Unfortunately for you, we don't call the police around here." Ramsay growled as two of the men pulled the man from his seat and drug him towards the back exit.
Ramsay looked you up and down, "how many times did he touch you, baby girl?"
"Three." You said, watching the fire burn in his eyes. He gave a nod, gave you a fleeting kiss, and stalked towards the exit.
"(Y/n), I'm so sorry." Roslin squeaked.
You gave a glance at the other man. He was oddly calm, for his buddy being dragged away as he simply sat there, scrolling through his phone, pocketing the stack of cash. This made your pulse quicken. You hurried to the bar counter and then ran towards the exit.
You stepped into the alley to find Ramsay bouncing the man's head off the brick wall next door.
You averted your eyes and pursed your lips, trying to ignore the sick, crunching sound. "Rams, we have a problem. He's a Rampant. As was his buddy."
Ramsay stopped in his action, dropping the man, who fell in a heap. Ramsay grabbed the man's arm and ripped his sleeve back. On the man's forearm was a tattoo of a rampant lion in red.
Ramsay pulled a knife from his pocket. One of Ramsay's men stuffed a rag into the Lion man's mouth as Ramsay hacked at the tattoo until the skin came away. You watched in horror as Ramsay clutched the piece of skin.
"Make it clean, boys." Ramsay said, looking at the group of men. They all left quickly, pulling guns.
"Don't you make a mess in my bar!" You hissed at your husband. "The cops are already being nosy!"
Ramsay gave you a long look. "Not a drop." He said, walking past you and holding the door open.
You glanced at the severely injured man laying on the pavement. "What about him? You can't just leave him."
"Baby girl, don't worry yourself about anything. It will all be taken care of. They started it, coming to my kingdom. Now, get back in there and get back to work. The lions won't be back." Your husband said, rather impatiently.
You just gave a nod and went back inside. You hurried back to the counter, pulling Olyvar to you so you could whisper in his ear. "Volume up, lights down. Now." You hissed.
Olyvar did as you instructed. Nobody seemed to notice. They were all too absorbed in the fight and drowning in beer. You glanced around and gasped as a hand grabbed you. Instinct brought your hand up, but Ramsay's chuckle stopped you. You relaxed.
"Come on." He said, pulling you along.
You furrowed your brows, but followed him to the table the other man still sat at. Ramsay took the empty seat across from him, pulling you into his lap, as his group of men formed a tight circle around the table. He leaned forward, his wicked smirk in place.
"I believe you owe my wife an apology." He said casually to the man.
The man scoffed, "I didn't touch her, speak to her, or even look at her."
Ramsay tutted and rolled his eyes, "I said that you owe my wife an apology. I will not tell you again."
"Listen punk, I don't know who you think..." the man started, puffing up, but his words were lost as Ramsay slammed the crudely flayed tattooed skin on the table.
"Our blades are sharp." Ramsay breathed with so much malice the temperature seemed to drop.
Your stomach churned at the piece of flesh on the table. You frowned, closing your eyes, and saying a small prayer.
What happened next was a blur. You saw Ramsay pull his knife, but everything that followed wouldn't come into focus as you were on your knees, vomiting in the toilet of the bar bathroom.
"(Y/n)? Are you okay?" Came Tyene's voice.
You leaned back, heaving a shaky sigh. "Yeah, dear. I'm just... I'm pregnant. Apparently the little one didn't like what I ate last."
Which was true. Nachos had been a very bad idea. However, you weren't sure if seeing a man murdered in front of you or the morning sickness had made you wretch.
"Okay, well, your husband, I think, is waiting on you. Says you should go home and rest. I was confused at first. But now it all makes sense. Congratulations! You know, even if it's not the ideal position to be told." She said with a small laugh at the end.
Well, now you were confused. Didn't complete chaos just unleash in the bar?
You pushed yourself up, sighed, flushed the toilet, and stepped out of the stall. Tyene peered at you curiously as you washed your hands, vigorously.
"What's it like out there?" You asked, drying your hands.
"Normal? A few men were escorted out, but other than that, everyone seems to be having a hell of a time."
You sighed again. This time relieved.
Tyene held the door open for you and you stepped back on to the floor. Sure enough, it was like nothing had ever happened. Ramsay pushed his empty shot glass back to Olyvar and rose from his stool when he saw you.
He looked you over, and held out his hand.
"You sure you'll be alright without me?" You asked Olyvar.
He nodded and gave you a smile, "of course. You just worry about you. We've got this."
You nodded and let Ramsay lead you to the back room. He said nothing as he untied your apron, grabbed your purse, and the keys hanging up.
"Come on baby girl. Let's get home."
You turned to Ramsay, who was as calm as could be, lighting a cigarette.
"What the fuck just happened?" You cried, throwing your hands up.
"Business. Seat belt, baby doll." He replied simply, exhaling smoke.
"Business? I just watched you kill a man in the middle of a crowded bar and no one freaked the fuck out. Explain." You said, demanding the last part.
Ramsay gave a harsh laugh, "If no one hears, no one sees."
"What the fuck were you thinking? The cops..."
"Will know nothing." He cut across you.
"How many men did you kill?"
"Just the cunt in the alley and at the table."
"What about the others?"
"We saw them out and sent them running along with messages to deliver."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't worry, baby girl. Everything will be okay. You just worry about my child inside you."
You frowned. This city was about to become very unsafe. For everyone. Including the unborn child inside of you.
Fear and dread welled inside you as you burst into tears.
Ramsay raised his brows in surprise and gave you a quick look.
"This is not right! Everything is such a mess!" You sobbed, snatching your hat off and clutching it in your hand to cry into.
"Whoa there, little momma. Calm down. Everything is fine. It will be fine. I have eyes everywhere." Ramsay said, softly.
It wasn't a very reassuring voice. That wasn't him. He wasn't one to comfort.
You simply gave a sniff and nodded.
Neither of you said anything for the remainder of the trip home.
Ramsay opened your door and helped you out. He placed a kiss to your temple as he led you inside and straight to the bedroom.
You simply stood there as he undressed you, kissing each bit of skin he exposed.
"What do you want?" He asked, kissing along your collar bone.
"Something to make me forget the things I saw tonight."
"Oh come on now baby girl. It wasn't that bad." Ramsay chortled, grabbing your hips.
You rested your cheek on his chest and sighed, "Rams, I watched you smash a man's head into a brick wall and then cut his skin off. I watched you stab a man point blank across a table while I sat in your lap. You could have hurt somebody innocent. What part of that wasn't so bad?"
Ramsay placed his finger under your chin and brought your face up to look at him.
"First things first, baby girl. Nobody at a bar is innocent. Second, both of those men disrespected you. Therefore disrespecting me. I will not have that. At all."
You looked away from him. Maybe he was right. Or at least had a point. You looked back up at him and opened your mouth to say something when your breath caught. The cramps were bad enough. But the increasing nausea was getting really fucking annoying.
Ramsay raked his eyes over your face and frowned, pulling you to the bed. He undressed and slid into the bed next to you, pulling you close and running his hand through your hair until you finally fell into a deep sleep.
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