#if anyone wants to talk about fantasy high please message me I’m on the last episode of sophomore year and I’m losing my mind
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perfectlyzombiedmuffins · 1 year ago
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Finally got to the quote and wanted to draw something for it
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chloes-awfully-soft · 11 months ago
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Be warned horny tumblr users, incoming robot girl yuri smut. Contains some light consensual software manipulation. I’m new to this so go easy on me.
Stars
The twinkles of light reached her eyes through the three inch thick glass that made up the exterior windows of the shuttle. She sat completely still in her chair, silently observing the beauty of the universe, storing every image in her mission ready SSD to be extracted later and observed by astronomers back on earth. Her servos and joints spun softly to life as she got up from her seat. Taking a moment to stretch her artificial muscles and lubricate her artificial joints. She had been sitting for hours, and hours before that she’d been pacing aimlessly, before that, laying down. She was the only one out here, and now that she was on the back end of her mission, she had very little to do. It would only be few more days before re-entry, and she could finally get repairs, an oil bath maybe. She could see her girlfriend, the one who’d been taking up more and more of her ram the last couple days of being confined in the central cabin. The one who gave her such wonderful new software, those programs she’d make herself. The ones that limit her processing power, make her slow and submissive. Finally able to take a break from always thinking at such a high level because of her extremely highly rated processor. Silence, pleasure, love.
She snapped out of the incredibly vivid fantasy she was in and realized that she’d sat back down.
“How am I expected to get shit done around here!”
She threw herself from her chain and used every ounce of willpower she had to trudge to her computer terminal chair and once again take a seat. At least now it was a seat she could do her daily diagnostic in. She opened her computer and tapped her fingers impatiently on the desk as the terminal went through its laborious start up process. As soon as it was open she moved her mouse over to the shuttle functions display program, but before she could click something caught her eye. A message notification, on the closed NASA network? She thought to herself. She wasn’t supposed to receive anything until a day before re-entry. Cautiously she moved the mouse back across the screen to her messages and opened her inbox.
“oh fuck”
From: nasaacsesspoint800915 (err: no:location:notarized) errorcode-56-77-968104
To: shuttlepilot6100 (preferred name: Chip)
Hey chip,
I miss you so fucking much. I knew you were probably bored as hell up there since it’s the last week. I always get so sad when you talk about how depressed you are when your missions get to this point. So this time I bribed one of your co-workers into letting me into the system to send you something.
I, made something extra special to get you through, wish I could download it to you myself.
Love you, so much
yours forever,
Maggie
| attachment: 463mb. |
| :mags-program-for-chip: |
| -download- |
“I… I can’t I’m, on a mission, oh god I’m so bored though and I want it so bad.”
Chip squirmed restlessly in her chair, she knew it was highly unlikely that anyone would ever find out what she did if she chose to download whatever mag had made for her. Of course it was always fine to download whatever in her free time, but right now, she was the only person responsible for a billion dollar piece of equipment. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t…
she… she needed to, she had to, escape, stop thinking. Just for awhile
“Oh Maggie” she sighed.
Chip opened the USB stick hatch on her wrist and removed the small connector tethered to her body by a thin wire. She plugged it into the computer, a small flutter came over her. She selects the program mag sent her, sets the location to shuttlepilot6100 and clicks download.
“It feels nice, it’s, oh, oh it’s so good, it I mag I’m. I. Can I. An It’s over. I can
Relax
.
.
.
. . . . Ma. Gg ie. “
Thank you for reading. Please let me know if you liked it and would be interested in more of this from me in the future :3
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thewriting-corner · 2 years ago
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Tropes I Wish I Could Beat With A Stick
If there is one thing I love, it’s uselessly analysing and picking apart stories. However, there is one moment in many stories wheree I simply cannot keep reading or watching because there is that One Trope™️ I despise with my entire being. Today I will be sharing a list of tropes that fall under that category, because I have not formally written in about a month and no longer feel qualified to give advice lol. I am also procrastinating taking out the trash, if anyone is interested lol.
Age Gap in YA
Will I ever shut up about this? No, I will not.
There comes a point in life where you are mature in life and can engage in a romantic relationship with someone 5+ years older than you, yes. I agree. But this matureness(?) does not happen at 18. It has become grossly normalised in YA, ESPECIALLY in fantasy, to have these huge age gaps between the barely legal MC and an emotionally immature immortal. I’m sorry, but that doesn’t strike me right. It’s disgusting. If you find a 17 year old dating a 30 year old gross, what makes you think a 17 year old and a 500 year old with the face of teenager is better? There are so many implications to immortality that ya fantasy books just refuse to acknowledge, not just in regards to romance, and I hate it. Please stop.
Pretty Privilege
This may just be my Ugly Girl In High School trauma coming out, but there is no trope that gets on my nerves more than this. I get why we write pretty MCs. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if the plot wouldn’t work if the MC were not conventionally attractive, that makes me want to slap someone.
There is this Christmas movie starring the Mean Girls actress (not Regina George or Amanda Seyfried, the one with brown hair) where Santa gives her the power to stand up for herself. Now, I recognise this as a very powerful message and am all for it. But throughout the entire movie, she says really honest (and by honest, I mean she calls people out for being mean and such) things that, while, again, I recognise as a good message, would’ve gotten her fired the first time she spoke if she wasn’t hot. And that makes me SO angry. Sure, pretty privilege can be used to your advantage irl too, and anyone is free to write it. But as someone who did not have a “glow up” until 18 and a half, and had guys actually skip me while saying hello to every. single. girl. in the room, that trope has always rubbed me the wrong way.
Miscommunication
Can we please normalise talking about our feelings and saying when things bother us? Because I am so done with that being used as an excuse for the climax or important plot point. If you cannot have one tiny conversation about your feelings, what makes it logical that this relationship will last in the long run? Sorry doesn’t fix not being honest, and when it happens in books, it is usually SO clear that the characters wouldn’t change if they were real people.
On-and-off relationships
Okay this may just be from me watching Teen Beach 2 the other day, and as enjoyable as that film is, the script was 100% written while the creator was high. I have zero doubts about this. BUT IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH when the couple just break up and get back together, especially over a short period of time. First of all, what kind of message does that send to viewers and readers? “Yes, if you’re constantly having to break up because your boundaries are being stepped over and your needs not being met they can STILL be the love of your life even without absolutely ANY character development!” And second, if a relationship can’t go three months without a breakup, then maybe it’s not a great fit. Just a thought.
Bare Minimum Being The Standard
There’s no other way to say this, but it applies to both friendships and relationships. I’m so tired of sucky friends who barely interact and then “omg their friendship is goals”. Is it? Or is the narrative of the story just making you believe they’re good friends so they don’t have to write compelling friendships and character growth?
This is mostly geared towards the Heroes of Olympus and TLC series. We are constantly TOLD that the seven are friends, but when you really get into the scenes, there really don’t have much friendship-ery interactions outside of what is needed for the plot. In The Lunar Chronicles I need no convincing that Thorne and Cinder are best friends forever, but Scarlet inviting her and Kai to her wedding in Stars Above? Seems like a stretch, tbh. And obviously, they were at war and Scarlet was kidnapped for about 800 pages, and they could have become friends later, but in the actual series there really isn’t much to be said about them being friends.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years ago
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Sugar, Sugar 15
[FIFTEEN/END]
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MASTERLIST
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, violence, mean sugary Steve
This is a dark! sugar daddy! Steve fic. Obvious AU so please keep that in mind. :) That being said, it will be an explicit fic (18+) with noncon. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
(This chapter: violence, threats, fear  :O)
Series Summary: The reader is struggling in the big city but find opportunity before her. Will she take it?
This Chapter: The wedding day approaches but not everything goes to plan.
Author Notes: So this is another series wrapped up after a grueling two years, haha. Sorry y’all.
Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya
🍭 🍭 🍭
The floor length mirror was trimmed with twisted gold. You stared at your reflection as your shaky hands pressed against the front of the ivory dress. The cut hid the small bump but you could not forget it. Ever since you confessed, it all happened so fast; the wedding was pushed up, the dress tailored and expedited, and invitations sent out in a rush.
It all felt surreal. The day had come but you just couldn’t accept it. How could you go through those doors and smile through it all?
You closed your eyes and let your breath out. They would knock when it was your time. Your father would be waiting to walk you down the aisle. The guests waited eagerly for the most talked about ceremony in the city. And you still felt like just a footnote in your own wedding.
You moved away from the mirror and sat unsteadily, gripping the arms of the cushioned chair, careful not to catch your veil under you. That night you told him, that was the final straw. But you didn’t forget what Sasha said. You took a picture of the broken door and wrote down the entire scene. You sent it to yourself in an email as proof.
That wasn’t the last time. You recorded Steve one day when he came in as you were texting your sister about the new date. You hadn’t answered his last message about your first appointment with the doctor. He was livid and you sat and listened to him rant as the red dots pulsed. You wrote down every instance, every time he made you appease him, every terrifying word.
Then there were the police reports. Nothing more than words in a filing cabinet but the night he choked you was just the beginning. He threatened to break your finger when you took your ring off because your hands were swelling. Then he broke your laptop when you didn’t pay him enough attention. 
As the wedding loomed closer, he only seemed to get worse. He was clingy, always touching you, marveling over your stomach. He checked in almost every hour on the hour when he was working, and you weren’t stupid enough not to notice that the building was being watched.
It was like you were living two lives and yet you were entirely trapped with him. What good could the emails do? Or the reports when the police wouldn’t act on them? You were going to marry this man and that would be the end of it; of you, of your life.
Knuckles tapped on the door and you stood. You crossed the room and inched it open the door. You flinched as you were met by an unexpected and uninvited guest.
“Sasha?” you gasped.
“You’re marrying him then?” he held the handle but you didn’t try to close the door, “the account gone, I heard nothing from you.”
“I… I’m scared,” you admitted, “when he found out, I thought he was going to--” you shook your head. He wouldn’t actually kill you.
“You know it’s not too late,” Sasha urged.
“You can’t be here, it he finds out, he’ll--”
“I’ll defend myself,” Sasha snarled uncharacteristically, “I’ll give him what he deserves.’
“No, I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to go,” you begged as you glanced past him furtively.
“I will. Come with me,” he said, “just go. Everyone’s distracted, they won’t know--”
“I can’t just leave. You don’t understand--”
“No, you don’t understand,” he argued, “if you marry him, it all gets so much more complicated. I told you that day at the café. It will be harder to fight after the vows, but right now, you can still get out.”
“And go where?”
He swallowed and looked down the hall. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd.
“Did you do any of it? Keep a journal? Something?” he asked.
“I tried. I went to the police but nothing,” you sniffed and gripped the door tight.
“Nothing yet but that’s a start,” he chewed the inside of his lip.
“Why are you here? Why is this so important to you?”
“Because I can do something,” he hissed, “because I can’t live with it if I don’t. So come on. Come with me, I got a bigger place. It’ll have to do for now and then we’ll work on getting you standing, getting the baby somewhere to grow--”
“Am I trading him for you?”
“I’m your friend,” he said evenly, “that will never change. All I want is you safe. If it makes you feel better, I’ll sleep in the hall. You can lock me out and I’ll sleep against the door. But I came down here knowing I wouldn’t leave without you.”
“It’s a sweet fantasy but--”
“Come on,” he grabbed your hand and pushed the door open, “please, don’t go with him. It doesn’t end well. You don’t get out. It doesn’t get better.”
“I have nothing,” you quavered.
“You have me,” he said, “please don’t make me walk out of here alone.”
“I….” you uttered as your heart squeezed. “He’ll come after you.”
“Good, I want him to,” he clung to you, “please?”
You inhaled and heard the voices. Your father and your sister. You had no time to think but you knew it was your only chance.
“Let’s go,” you lifted your skirt and pulled the door shut behind you as you stepped out, “now.”
He held onto your hand as you rushed away from the voices and skirted around the corner. Sasha urged you on down the back stairs and through the maze like halls of the extravagant church. You nearly tumbled down the stairs and he caught you as you came along the narrow passage beside the main room, the guests and groom just on the other side of the wall.
You came out into the sunlight and Sasha lifted the train of your skirts as he directed you over the grass. our heels sank into the dirt as you rushed over and the organ began to play Here Comes the Bride. As he helped stuff the swathes of fabric in behind you in his modest car, the music stopped suddenly.
He closed the door as you were squished in the back seat amid your layered skirts and he got in the front. The engine turned and he nearly side swept another car as he pulled out without looking. You peeked back behind you but saw no one coming down the large steps of the church.
He turned the corner and sidled in behind a yellow cab. He looked at you in the mirror and nodded. You bit your lips nervously as reality sank in. Your chest hammered and your entire body buzzed with adrenaline. You knew it was only the beginning.
🍭
The day passed in a daze. You sat in your wedding dress waiting for all hell to break loose. Sasha sat with a beer, silently, and tapped his foot endlessly. When the silence was too much, he turned on the television but neither of you paid any attention to the old sitcom.
When the trance of disbelief dissipated, he showed you around his spacious loft. He was being paid well by Stark but you worried how long he would stay on the payroll after what he’d done. Steve wasn’t stupid and there were more photographers at the church then you’d seen collectively over the last year and a half.
“This is the second bedroom,” he showed you into a room with gleaming windows. There was a bed, a dresser, curtains, a cozy rug, all carefully selected, “I thought you’d be here sooner.”
Your eyes lingered on the box leaned against the far wall. A crib.
“Didn’t know how long…” his voice trailed off as he followed your eye line, “I’m not trying to be him. You can go anytime but I… you have a place here.”
Your eyes welled and you blotted them with your knuckles, the rough lace of your gloves scratching your cheeks, “you did all this for me?”
“I told you, I’d do anything,” he said.
“But… Sasha, I don’t--”
“I don’t expect anything from you. High school was a long time ago but you made it bearable for the biggest dweeb in the class.” He sighed and paced a circle around the room, “you know, I had the biggest crush on you. That doesn’t mean anything now, it doesn’t mean I want you to fall into my arms, but it means I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do, somehow I made a career of doing the right thing so what’s one more?”
You felt your chest sink and you covered your cheeks with your hands, “Sasha?”
“Please,” he cringed, “I was a teen boy, I think I had a thing for Oprah once. Really, it’s just… we’re friends. We’ll always be friends.”
“I can’t…” you sniffled and dropped your hands, “I don’t deserve any of this.”
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Sasha intoned, “and you don’t deserve to live like that. I know this isn’t much but I know you. You’ll find your way, you just got a little lost.”
“I…” you shook your head speechless.
“We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and then we can see about retrieving your things from Steve,” he neared the door and stopped beside you, “or we can say fuck it and you can start all over.”
You turned and slung your arms around him. You buried your face against his shoulder as tears spilled out onto his jacket.
“How did you know?” you sobbed.
“That day at the shower,” he rubbed your back gently, “you know, lawyers learn how to read people and you never were very good at subtlety.”
“No,” you chuckled through your tears, “No, it’s why I was great as a bard.”
“Mmm,” he grumbled, “if that’s how you remember it.”
🍭
It felt like Sasha was gone forever but when you checked the clock, it had only been twenty minutes. 
You sat on the couch with your feet under you as you watched the news and rocked nervously. All anyone was talking about was Steve Rogers’ runaway bride. Your face was everywhere and the statement issued by Steve made it all the worse.
He painted you as a gold-digger, as an adulterer, as a swindler. He was the heartbroken fiancé and you were the wrongdoer. You knew it would go this way but expectation never softened reality.
You flinched as the lock turned and Sasha entered with a bag in hand. He came to the couch and set it down beside you.
“I don’t know about my taste in women's clothes but those should do,” he said as he checked his watch, “we should go soon.”
“Yeah,” you stood and opened the bag to reveal the lavender blouse and dark jeans, “you really didn’t have to--”
“You kidding, he’s gonna be surrounded by cameras. You can’t win his game if you don’t play it. I’ve dealt with his type before, they’re the ones who need lawyers on standby,” he sneered, “did you eat?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you swiped up the bag and headed for the hallway, “it was good.”
“No problem,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv, “and ignore all that nonsense.”
You got dressed and emerged as your anxiety grew to impatience. You left the apartment in brittle silence and the car ride fed the uneasy bubbling of your stomach. .
As you came up to Steve’s building, you sat for a moment before you got out. Sasha followed and shoulder away the cameras as you neared the front door
The elevator moved slowly and fidgeted uncontrollably as it dinged on Steve’s floor. You swallowed and braced yourself to face Steve. Sasha kept a few feet back as you walked down the hall and stopped at the door. You knocked as you found it locked.
It was a while before it opened but when it did, you were startled as Steve grabbed the front of your blouse and wrenched you inside. He spun you but quickly released you as he was knocked off balance and sent sprawling over the floor. Sasha stood above him with his hands in fists.
“Hey,” he pointed at Steve then looked at you, “you okay?”
You nodded as Steve glared between the two of you and cautiously got to his feet, “so you brought your little boyfriend?”
“She’s here to get her stuff. We thought we’d avoid a police escort, as her lawyer I thought it prudent, but we can always make that phone call,” Sasha said sternly, “she is entitled to her possessions.”
“Her stuff? I paid for every single thing she has to her name. Hers? Mine.” Steve spat and reared on you again, only to be caught by Sasha as he inserted himself between you.
“You will not touch her again. Those things you bought for her were gifts. You have no legal rights to them once they are given. She will take her clothes, her phone, and any other necessities.”
“Pfft, she’s not taking anything. She’s not going anywhere,” Steve growled, “she not yours--”
“I am certain the photogs would appreciate a show,” Sasha pulled out his phone, “police? That can only be a domestic dispute.”
Steve squinted and his nose flared as he looked at you over Sasha’s shoulder, “fucking slut.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside, “get your shit, get out…” he hissed, “but I have my rights too. You will not keep me from my baby.”
“That will be settled in court,” Sasha replied coolly, “go on, get your things.”
He waved you past him as he kept you shield from Steve. He was of a height with Steve but not as broad. Even so, you felt safe behind him. You rushed down to the bedroom and quickly gathered up your toiletries and those clothes you didn’t absolutely hate. Your phone screen was shattered but you took it anyway.
As you emerged again, a bag slung on your shoulder, you slid the ring from your finger. 
“You can keep the rest,” you said as you placed the band on the small round table just inside the front room, “goodbye Steve.”
“Goodbye? Goodbye?” he spat, “this isn’t the end and you fucking know it.”
“Calm down,” Sasha warned.
“You don’t tell me what to do,” Steve shoved him, “I should fucking smash your head in--”
“I’d like you to try,” Sasha stood his ground, “really. You think the court would let a violent man be around an infant?”
Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. He backed down and shouldered by Sasha. “Get the fuck out.”
You left quickly. You had no desire to hang around. As you stepped onto the elevator, Sasha softly touched your elbow and you winced. The bag fell to your elbow and he quickly scooped it up and heaved it over his own shoulder.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” you said, “he was so angry. I--”
“I was stupid, we should’ve brought the police. Fuck the cameras,” he said, “from this point on, no contact with him whatsoever. Only through me and the court. No talking to reporters, no nothing.”
“Yeah, that won’t be hard,” you uttered as he led you out of the elevator. 
As you came outside, cameras flashed and voices called out. You collided with Sasha as he was blocked by a photographer shouting questions, “is it true you’re pregnant? Is it Steve’s?”
“My client will not be answering questions,” Sasha kept on and made a path for you, “go, she’s not answering any of your questions.”
He elbowed past more cameras and opened the car door for you. You fell inside and quickly huddled down in your seat. As he sat behind the wheel, he mumbled and pulled out into traffic. He gripped the wheel tightly and pushed himself back into the vinyl.
“That asshole,” he said, “he’s gonna want the paternity test. This isn’t gonna be pretty.”
“I can’t… he fucking told them. I mean, I’m not surprised but… god,” you grimaced.
“We’ll get the test done before he makes a formal request,” Sasha said, “it shows transparency and when we hand over those results, we’ll include those police reports too.”
“Police reports?” you blinked.
“Sorry, I… It’s a suggestion,” he said tersely, “but he’s going to make this a trial by media.”
“No, no, I want to,” you said firmly, “I want everyone to know the real Steve Rogers.”
🍭
‘I was just like many struggling in the city. I worked a low-paying job in data entry and lived in an apartment which was little more than a box. The dreams of the big city were passing me by as there was little opportunity to be found.
Then I met Steve Rogers. Like a dream or a Lifetime movie. I was in debt, I was desperate, and he offered me a safety net. I can own my part in the relationship; I was interested and I accepted his generosity. I was all too happy with the arrangement.
That was until I found out that it was all based on a lie. I didn’t know that he had access to my accounts even before I knew him, that he had used his connections to force me into that dire situation. And I could not know the real man behind the billionaire façade.
It was little things at first. Any woman loves to feel wanted but his possessiveness soon turned to control. He kept me isolated from my own family and did not permit me to do anything without his permission. His affection turned to obsession and when it was not reciprocated he forced it from me.
He took me on vacation and did not allow me to wear clothes. He chose what I wore, how I looked, and what I did. He coerced me into acts I was reluctant about, and when he was too rough, he did not listen to my pleas for him to stop.
When I tried to leave him, he followed me and dragged me back. He had me watched by PIs and surveilled all my communications. He used his financial power to control me and when that did not work, he used his physical power.
Steve Rogers abused me. He yelled in my face, he threatened my family, and he choked me.
Steve Rogers raped me. He expected me to bend to his will whenever he desired and when I refused, he held me down and did what he wanted.
Steve Rogers took my whole life and when I chose to leave, he set his eyes on the life inside of me. 
The only thing I want from him is freedom. I want to live safely with my child and I want that child to never experience the abuse of their father. I never want anyone to know that horror again which is why I have written this and released the police records. I am not asking for anything but peace for me and my unborn child.’
The statement was carefully edited by Sasha. You reread the font across the glossy pages of Vanity Fair, the article spliced with excerpts not only from the police reports, but your own emailed accounts of your relationship, and the whole thing began with an image of that broken bathroom door.
It was two months since you ran away from the altar but life was not a romcom. It was a disaster. Even with the article, you knew not all would believe you. You knew it would open you to doubt and vitriol. And you knew Steve would have a response.
You closed the magazine and groaned as you rubbed your hips. Freedom didn’t feel so… freeing. There was a long way to go; court dates, doctor’s appointment, and depositions. But it was a start.
You rested your hand on your stomach and pushed on the arm of the couch as you stood stiffly. When you were halfway up, you felt a hand on your elbow and Sasha helped you stand straight. You smiled guiltily. You’d grown a lot in the last few weeks and still had nearly four months to go.
“The reviews are good,” he said, “I know that is kinda grim but… people seem to believe you.”
“Seem to?” you echoed as you went to the kitchen and pulled out the container of sliced strawberries, “or they don’t?”
“Well,” he leaned on the counter as he watched you add too much cream to the berries and smiled, “Stark Industries has cut ties with Shield, Inc. and Tony has made a sizeable donation to several shelters across the city,” he cupped his chin coyly as he leaned on his elbow, “and will be covering legal costs for the support hearings seeing as I can’t legally represent you anymore.”
“Oh,” your mouth fell open before you could spray some cream onto your tongue, “when were you going to tell me this?”
“I’m telling you now,” he crossed his arms as he shifted them further over the island, “I thought I’d give the good news first.”
“And the bad?” you put down the can of cream as you neared the marble across from him.
“I have several requests for interviews and I think you should do at least one,” he said, “I know you hate reporters and all that but… with a little Rogers baby on board, it’s just another part of the process.”
“Oh, and what should I tell them,” you edged around the counter towards him, “that I moved? That I found someone better?” He turned to you, his lips curved as he leaned in and you turned your face up to peck his lips, “or maybe I should tell them I’m single? Keep the intrigue?”
“As long as you tell them I’m handsome, I don’t mind,” he purred as he placed his hand on your side.
“Oh, how could I leave that out?” you cooed and kissed him again, “patient, loving, kind… but what a geek?”
“A geek?” he smirked and framed your chin with his hands, “says the dungeon master.”
You giggled and ran your hands up his chest, “someone’s gotta raise this little bard well.”
“Oh, no, no, she’s not gonna be a bard. Maybe a cleric?”
“No way! That’s lame,” you chirped, “how about… a sorcerer? Ours is a bit lacking.”
“Excuse you,” he quipped, “what was your AC again? Maybe next session I’ll run out of healing spells.”
“See?” you taunted, “geek.”
You drew him to you until he was pressed to your belly and he swept you up in a kiss. You rocked with him as he turned you against the counter and slowly parted.
You squeezed his wrist as you went back around to your strawberries and cream. You took a spoon and scooped up a mouthful as you slid your phone towards you. Sasha stayed as he was, watching you scroll through the emails and piled up texts.
You stopped as one blared in all caps. There was no name, only ‘Private’. You opened the conversation and found a dozen bubbles; ‘THIS ISN’T OVER’, ‘HE CAN’T KEEP YOUR FROM ME’, ‘CUTE, YOU THINK PEOPLE BELIEVE YOUR SHIT.’ Another message blipped up, an image and you dropped your spoon as it opened.
You saw the picture of your sister and her son. You shook as you put your hand down on the counter and choked on the cream.
“What?” Sasha reached over and turned your phone to him, “Shit,” he sighed and blocked the number, “he’s just stacking the evidence against himself.”
“I--” you blinked as tears boiled behind your eyes.
“You don’t need to be afraid,” he screencapped the conversation, “this just makes the case even easier.”
“No, I will always be afraid of him,” you said as you touched your stomach, “it’s not just about me anymore.”
“And it’s not just you anymore,” he took your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, “we’ve been through worse. If we can get through a cave full of orcs, we can defeat Steve Rogers.”
END (or is it?)
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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years ago
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Rules: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader
synopsis: You two have one rule when it comes to your hookups: don't fall in love. So what happens when one of you breaks that rule? (based on a anon request that Tumblr ATE UP)
wc: 1.8k
tw: NSFW
masterlist
You're riding him as fast as you can, hands cupping your breasts and tweaking your nipples.
"God, this feels so damn good," Suguru hisses beneath you, eyes holding yours captive. His hand moves away from your left breast, sliding down your stomach and resting on your clit.
"Mmm... Su..." you breathe, your hands pressed on either side of him as your hips slam into his. "That's perfect."
Panting, sweating messes. That's what you're both reduced to every Friday evening when he comes through your door and fucks you until you can't walk. And he leaves before sun-up, just as you ask, placing the spare key beneath the mat at the door after he locks up behind himself.
"You gonna cum soon?" Suguru wonders, but not because he wants to rush you. No, you look down in those onyx eyes and see his desire to withhold himself from cumming for just a little bit longer. He wants to feel your walls rock against his length for as long as he can before giving himself up to you. Suguru loves it when you spasm around his cock - and loves it when you squirt even more - but every single time, he cums right after you. It's not because he's weak; no, that's never been the case.
Your pleasure means so much to him. And when he delivers you the best, toe-curling orgasm of the week, you can't help but let yourself indulge in the sensations and ride it out as well.
But the first caveat to your little arrangement was Rule #1: that neither of you could fall in love. The moment one of you catches feelings, it's over. And you were starting to see that it could very well be Suguru that catches feelings, just like all of the ones who came before him.
The only difference between them and this black-haired devil beneath you was that he'd not only lasted a full six months, but he was the only one that could truly satisfy you. You never felt like Suguru used you as a fuck toy or masturbated into your body just for the feeling of a warm cunt surrounding his twitching cock. Your pleasure meant something to him, even if he left before daylight.
Those are your rules, however.
Soft lips bring you back to the present, and a gentle scrape of the teeth against the flesh of your breast makes you moan loudly.
"Suguru, I--"
"Hush, y/n," he mutters, tongue darting out to flick your nipple. "I'm not done with you yet."
Rule #2: no pet names. And he'd stuck to it, only calling you by your name as he fucked you into the couch, or moaned your name as you came around his length.
"Fuck..." you breathe as he sucks on your breasts over and over again, switching between the two at his leisure. And still, he's bouncing you on his dick, making you shudder.
Rule #3: Condoms. Every. Single. Time. And Suguru never came empty-handed.
You'd gotten rid of men the first time they came over without a condom and blamed it on their brain, even though you kept a stash hidden in the bottom cabinet of the bathroom. Those were reserved for hookups with men who weren't on your schedule or for when you used your strap-on; not for "forgetful" people.
"Oh, shit," you breathe. "I think I'm going to cum..." Suguru nods, pressing you against his chest and speeding up his strokes.
God damn, he's intuitive, you think as he brings you to the edge and tips you over like only he can. When you shudder and whimper in his ear, Suguru grunts softly, hips stuttering as he cums right behind you. It's always been like this, you muse, kissing the man deeply and with feeling. It's never going to change.
_____________________________________________________________
Change comes when you first step into the high-end department store, and you spot a silk gold and black tie hanging on a display.
"Suguru would like that," you think aloud, imaging him tying it on just like he takes them off before wrapping them around your h-- You smack your cheek, waking yourself up from the semi-lewd fantasy. You forget all about the occurrence until you pass by the cologne department, and catch a whiff of a familiar scent.
"Miss," you ask, stopping in front of an associate. "What's that scent?" When the lady rattles off some famous cologne brand, you inhale the fresh scent again, suddenly transported to the time you buried your face in Suguru's neck and smelled his hair for the first time. "Thank you," you quickly mutter, and walk away from the counter as fast as you can. Your hands begin to shake as you place the shoes you just bought on, looking at them in the store mirror right as the words 'maybe I should ask Suguru how they look' rolls through your mind.
Your assigned stylist gives you a frightened glance as you growl and take the shoes off, stuffing them back into the box in her hands as you hiss, "I'll take them."
What the hell is happening to me? you wonder as you drive home impatiently, honking at every person who minorly inconveniences you as you speed down the highway. It's not even Friday, but thrice you've thought about asking Suguru to come over and spend time with you. Three times!
You drop your keys onto the counter and sit on your couch, burying your hands in your face as you think, think, think...
Cancel with Ryoma. Cancel with Aizen. Cancel, cancel, cancel...
You shoot off various text messages in a short amount of time, cutting the other five men out of the schedule. You can find others to fit into Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday if you need to. You just need it to be Friday and fast.
"Hello?" the soft voice murmurs when you dial - picked up on the second ring.
"Hey," you whisper nervously. "Um, Monday canceled and I'm feeling a little stressed. Are you free tonight?" Some papers shift around in the background, and you bite your lip as you wait for an answer. It seems like forever until you hear:
"Yeah, let me finish up at the office. I'll be there around seven, alright?"
"Alright." You hang up just as a rush of adrenaline pumps through you, making you shower and dress with vigor. You even put on the new shoes and a nice set of lingerie to match. All for Suguru. You tie a robe over yourself and sit at your computer - it's six-fifteen - to do some work as a distraction. And it proves fruitful because when the doorbell rings, it's seven o'clock.
You straighten your robe and walk to the door, fixing your hair before opening it up and grinning at Suguru, who is still dressed in his slacks and a button-down shirt. The top button is open slightly and his sleeves are bunched up around his elbows, but he offers you his sweet smile as well, stepping into the house with ease.
"You look really nice. Are those new shoes?" he asks, tossing his jacket over the back of the couch and turning back to you.
"Why yes, they are," you sing, walking toward him slowly, leisurely. "Do you like them?"
"Do you care?" Suguru wonders, cupping your chin and kissing your lips gently. "I'm going to take them off of you in a second anyways."
"You have all night to think about that," you tease, tugging him toward your bedroom. "But I'd prefer you let me wear them while you fuck me." Suguru lets out a surprised chuckle, following you into the room and shutting the door behind him.
But even after he's fucked you senseless, you can't sleep. Your earlier thoughts haunt you and a twinge of guilt eats at your brain as you lay against a sleeping Su, head resting on his chest as he holds you close. Even when you see the clock hours change from ten to eleven, to twelve to three am, you can't help but dread the moment when he would awake and leave you alone in the bedroom.
And when six o'clock comes, his watch buzzes on the nightstand, shaking him from his hazy sleep.
Your fingers curl into his side, and Suguru groans, rubbing his eyes.
"You awake?" he whispers into the darkness, but you don't reply, hoping he would just lay there for a few minutes more. "Y/n? Your heart is beating a mile a minute."
"So?"
"So..." He shifts up, petting your hair gently. "I think we need to talk." Your heart plummets into your stomach, and you try not to react sharply, but Suguru clears his throat as he turns on the bedside lamp. You look up into his black eyes, and he blinks in the light, biting his bottom lip at the sight of you fully awake. "Why did you call me over here and not anyone else?" You fumble for an answer, but thinking of a lie just wouldn't do. Not for Suguru. "Aren't you breaking your rule?"
"No," you counter, sitting up straight. "I'm not falling in love with you. Your dick, maybe. But not you." The look in his eyes tells you that he knows you're lying. You hang your head, fighting back an apology.
"We should call this off if that's the case."
"No," you whisper, shaking your head. "I don't want that."
"I don't want that either," Suguru murmurs, tilting your chin up with his fingers. "But what happens if you go back to..." You sigh, looking away. "I'm a jealous lover, y/n. I'm not the kind to play around with."
"And I won't," you reply, head snapping back to meet his eyes. "I..." you exhale shakily. "I couldn't stop thinking about you when I was at Bergdorf's." The admission doesn't shock Suguru, but he does clasp his hands together. "Everything reminded me of you, and I--" You break off, hands shaking. "I'm scared."
"Have you discussed this with anyone else?" The question implies the obvious, and you look to your phone, opening it up and letting him see the contacts "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday" all with the same message:
Sorry, I have to cancel our weekly rendevous. Hope you understand.
"Am I saved as Friday?" Suguru chuckles, but you scroll down a little more, and his name pops up: Suguru Geto.
He huffs a laugh, shaking his head.
"I'm the special one, huh?" You turn his head toward you, leaning in to kiss him on the lips once.
"Please, let me break my rules for you." Suguru groans, leaning into your touch and kissing your palm in response.
"Let me start right now then, babe. And don't worry, we'll take it one rule at a time." You giggle as he tosses your phone aside and leans into you, kissing you just like he did before and switching off the light as daybreak comes.
_____________________________________________________________
TAGLIST: @missbonekitty @wack0-genius @thankuary @r-i-m-f-009 @sunfloweroranges @leanne-tamashi @rein-icu @brownskinnedgirll @savantsoulfinder @chilledlucifer @kontentious @flare-on @meena-in-a-nutshell @falling-through-pages @naoyasdarling @vabybizzle
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waatermelon-sugaar · 4 years ago
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Bliss
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Pairing = FO! Poe x reader
Words = 6k (don’t look at me)
Summary = You watch your husband throw a knife, sparking 18+ thots
Warnings = SMUT (18+ only!) KNIFE PLAY, reader masturbation, fingering (f receiving), violence, like one non-graphic sentence of imaginary blood, but no actual blood (PLEASE message me if you wanna know more before reading and I’ll answer any questions you might have :) ) 
A/N 1 = This is basically pure smut and I’m sorry, it’s all from that training video
A/N 2 = You and Poe are married in the fic, and love each other. There is also discussion of the scene involving the knife. In real life, this discussion should be much longer, and less one-sided, going through details with much more depth. If you ever try knife play in real life, please never use the knife during actual sex in case of injury. You should also always have a first aid kit, and certain places of the body (the neck, inner wrists, groin area) should never come into contact with a sharp knife because of the high risk of lethal injury. In this fic they do it because it’s fiction. Please always do your research and make sure your partner does too, make sure you keep communicating and also that you trust the person you’re with. 
If you have any questions about the content of this fic before you read, send me a message, if you have questions about knife play, send me a message, I’ll be more than happy to talk about it!! (Actually I’ll talk about anything to anyone if you ever want to chat! ☺️)
Also PLEASE let me know if I missed any warnings!!
Posted to AO3
Masterlist 
***
“What do you think … Captain?”
You pause for effect before pulling out Poe’s rank. It’s a little too tough and impersonal for your tastes, usually preferring the purr, the rough and ready of ‘Sir’, but you know that Poe enjoys the rare occasion when you do use it, and if it means you get what you want, you’ll call him every name under the sun. Your husband’s brown eyes darken as you pout, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.
You’re sat on his desk, far enough back that you can swing your legs a little, hands tucked under your thighs, while Poe relaxes in his seat, looking like work, all sharp angles and dark looks. He trimmed his beard in the refresher this morning, emphasising his jaw, and that perfect, pink mouth. You can’t wait to get him home so he can relax properly. He works far too hard for a thankless job in your opinion.
Anyway, in your defense, it was Poe who planted the seed of the idea in your head in the first place.
You knew Poe was proficient at fighting, and weaponry, and that his skill in a TIE fighter was unparalleled in the First Order, but you’d thought that his particular area of expertise was constrained to blasters and other long-distance weapons.
Not knives.
You were supposed to be the best at knives. After all, Poe had recruited you to work for the First Order after watching you take down some disrespectful asshole who had been twice your size in close quarters, a small hidden knife strapped in your boot being the deciding factor in your victory. All over a dispute of cheating.
It was a shame, really.
All that loss of life … for nothing. All that chaos, just breeding more chaos, and who was the real winner?
Poe had shown you how nice it felt to bring order. He’d shown you how nice a lot of things felt.
So you’d just assumed that Poe wasn’t as good with knives, and therefore wasn’t as disposed to use them. You’d never asked, merely enjoying the way his eyes lingered on you when you practiced your skills in training, and really enjoying the sex afterwards. And even after a year of marriage, it had never come up.
But last week, you and Poe had been among a larger group of officers fighting your way out of a Resistance base after blowing their central intelligence systems. You’d shot once, twice and then a third time at a particularly stubborn oncoming Rebel, finally hitting them in the stomach, causing them to double over in pain.
Stars, your new job had made you rusty. You’d have to practice using your blaster more.
You’d stood over the rebel to deliver a final shot to their face, taking them out of their misery and turned just in time to see Poe throwing his blaster to one side, smoke issuing from it, and pulling a small knife from a holster on his thigh. Your mouth dry, you’d continued to watch as, almost in slow motion, Poe had thrown the knife with deadly accuracy, the small silver flash burying itself into the Rebel’s exposed neck.
Fuck that was hot.
Why was that so hot?
The rebel had stood there with an expression of surprise, cocky bastard, blood already dribbling, a bright red stream running down their throat, but you just had eyes for Poe. You’d ignored the way the Rebel’s body slumped to the ground with a heavy finality, and moved forwards, suddenly desperate to feel Poe’s lips on yours.
Damn the Resistance, and damn the rebels.
You would kiss your husband, and you would kiss him right now.
Poe had turned, his eyes automatically sweeping for you, surprise in his eyes at first at how close you already were, but he’d allowed you to push him into the dusty wall, one of your hands looking for his and twinning your fingers together.
Your deadly hands, spun together for eternity.
Your other hand is automatically reaching for Poe’s neck, fingers grasping at his hair, pulling his lips towards yours. You can smell his sweat, the familiar scent pooling under his cologne, filling you with a sense of safety, even amongst the very-real danger the two of you are currently facing. His free hand is already gripping your hip, pulling your body towards him as if you weren’t as close as you could possibly be.
It’s moments like these that you think the two of you are made for each other. You couldn’t imagine needing to kiss anyone else in the middle of a mission, couldn’t imagine anyone else letting you do such a thing, couldn’t imagine anyone else wanting you the way Poe wants you. The way you want - no, need - him.
The way he needs you.
Even though your eyes are closed, you can still see how Poe’s fingers moved, causing the knife to fly out of his hands, even as they grip your hips, one of his legs pushing nicely between yours, canting upwards slightly towards the ache you’re already feeling.
The movement is replaying over and over again behind your eyelids, and you never want to forget it.
Poe’s mouth slots perfectly over yours, and he gasps into you when you pull on his hair slightly. He’d had it cut recently, and it’s still a touch too short for your liking, unable to properly tug unless you hold the curls on top of his head.
You take the opportunity to taste him, dipping your tongue into his mouth, and he lets you, lets you bite his tongue, as his beard tickles your skin, scratching deliciously. And then you bite his lip as you pull away, and he groans deep, hitting your body lower, warming you up.
But you don’t let yourself move against his thigh. Not now. Not yet. Not even as you move your mouth to his throat, where his salt and pepper beard gives way to tan skin, kissing him desperately. You don’t stop, even as your hands untangle, and Poe reaches for your holster, raising your blaster and letting off a shot in your ear. You keep kissing him, following the line of his beard up to his ear, nipping lightly at his lobe, ignoring the sounds of a body falling behind you.
And now he’s plastering kisses to your skin, wherever he can get his mouth, on your forehead, down your cheek, along your arm, only separating from you as he delicately kisses each of your fingers. There’s further swooping low in your belly as you look at him, kiss swollen lips, hooded eyelids, dark eyes.
And then your gaze is broken, other members of the First Order catching up to you, whooping and hollering in success. Their shouts are enough to make Poe reach for your hand again, holding it as he pulls the two of you back to his TIE fighter, back to safety and freedom.
But the image of Poe throwing a knife didn’t leave you, even after the mission, taking up most of your brain during the debrief, and even popping into your mind later that evening, before Poe joined you in bed, where you found your hands trailing fire over your body, pinching your nipples, as you imagine Poe pressing a cold knife into and around the flesh of your breasts.
You’re naked, and the room is cool, goosebumps prickling along your flesh despite that familiar heat spreading through your veins, slowly burning you up from the inside. You can feel sweat gathering despite the chill, along your hairline, your upper arms, your stomach.
Once you’d started you couldn’t stop, pressing your thighs together as you worked yourself up, fingers teasing your skin as you imagined Poe walking in, still in his uniform. He’d stop at the end of the bed and just watch you.
And then he’d lean over you, still watching you with those dark eyes, and take out that knife, just tracing it up your leg, gently pressing it into the inside of your thigh, dangerously close to your pussy, and you pause, with your head tipped back on your pillow, mouth open, eyes closed, imagining the feeling.
Letting out a small whimper, you’d lowered your hand, dipping your fingers between your folds, and delicately traced around your clit, spreading the wetness that had gathered throughout the day around.
You’d settled into your familiar rhythm, slowly building the speed and pressure of your fingers on your clit, letting out little gasps when you hit the spot just right. And then your fantasy Poe opened his mouth, and you imagined him playing carelessly with the knife. “Put a finger inside yourself.”
You remember letting out a noise of agreement, not quite a word, inching your fingers further down, when your imaginary Poe clarified. “Just one, baby.”
You’d immediately lifted your head in protest, even though he wasn’t actually there, and you could have done what you had wanted to, but you’d obeyed. It’s part of the fun. You’d slid your middle finger in with little resistance, and closed your eyes in pleasure, your head falling back to your pillow.
You’d bitten your lip, muffled any quiet sounds that escaped you, imagining again and again and again how Poe would look holding that knife, ready to use it on you, carve the cold metal into your skin, not hard enough to hurt you, but enough that you can feel cool trails over hot skin.  
Your single finger was slowly pumping in and out of you, and you were so wet you could hear it in the silence of your bedroom, your small gasps gradually increasing in volume. When you thought you couldn’t bear it anymore, you’d imagined Poe telling you to “Insert another one baby.”
So you had, letting out a small moan as a second finger joined the first, and gasped out Poe’s name. It was easier than when Poe did it, your fingers being smaller than his, but you could still feel a slight stretch.
You’d kept moving your fingers, gradually circled faster, ground your hips down so your clit caught on your palm, curved your fingers inside yourself. Your breaths were coming faster now, shuddering through your chest as you imagined Poe trailing the ice-cold knife up your legs, getting closer and closer to the juncture of your thighs.
Just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, you imagined locking eyes with Poe, and he opened his mouth. “Cum for me, baby.” His voice was velvet, soft, but commanding and familiar as your toes started to curl. You couldn’t hear the noises coming from your mouth anymore, only dimly aware that you were moaning, the sound drowning out the squelch between your legs.
Your orgasm was a slow builder, and you remembered the last time Poe brought you to orgasm, how he whispered filthy praises in your ear as his cock dragged slowly in and out of you, coaxing you through it then as his imaginary doppelganger does now, watching you gush and spasm over your fingers, legs shaking in pleasure.
After you’d come, you’d lain there, panting on your bed, sweat cooling your skin. Languidly, you’d raised your fingers, cleaning them off with kitten licks, the tangy taste coating your tongue and wishing Poe would come to bed, he always enjoyed watching you clean up.
Your fantasy confirming just how into the idea of playing with a knife you were, you’d stewed over the idea a little further for a couple of days, imagining how it would actually feel, sure that in real life it would be different. You’d curiously pressed the blunt side of a knife on your inner forearm one day when you were alone in the kitchen, sending furtive glances towards the partially closed door. Technically it was nothing special, technically nothing exciting, not in that way, and it was the blunt side, but it had still sent a delicious shiver through you. You could feel your heart rate increasing as you trailed the cold metal up your arm, biting your lip as heat pooled low in your belly.
You even went so far to press the sharp point into your skin, stopping short of making yourself bleed, but enough you could see a small indentation in your skin. Your little ‘exercise’ cemented the idea further into your brain, the idea of something so dangerous being used in such a vulnerable position was intoxicating.
You’d taken your time, thinking over the idea, and carefully considering. You wanted to be sure of yourself before bringing the idea to Poe. He wouldn’t judge you for changing your mind, but still, it would be a little embarrassing to change your mind. Poe was careful with your boundaries, always checking in when the two of you went a little further than normal, and you knew that this would be no different.
All this had led to you coming to Poe’s office on your break and asking what he thought. He was considering it, as you knew he would, leaning back in his chair. His eyes are raking over you already, but you give him time, even though your palms are sweating and you’re sure your heart rate is through the roof.
It’s only when he moves, fingers twitching in their grasp of the chair that you react, leaning forwards, your feet swinging slightly at the motion.
“Ok,” he nods, and before you can fling yourself at him, he holds a hand up. “But. We have to establish some rules, like what kind of knife are we going to use?”
You nod, already pulling up the bag that had been resting on the floor, slumped over and forgotten in your excitement. You rummage around for a second, trying to find-
“Here!” You hold the knife out for Poe to take, grinning at the amusement in his eyes. “It’s blunt on both sides, you’d have to apply some pretty serious pressure if you wanted to do any damage.”
The knife is - and there’s really no other word for it - pretty, with a black blade, and decorated handle. It’s small, about 15 cm long, but the metal is heavy, and one that will stay cold for a long time. It had raised a few eyebrows when you’d asked for a pretty knife with two blunt edges, but you were a Dameron, and had some sway of your own. If you told those lower than you to obtain a specific knife discreetly and with no questions asked, so it happened.
Poe takes his time examining it, admiring it from all angles, shooting you another look, this time filled with pride.
“I did my research.” You flip your hair as if it was nothing, omitting how expensive the final bill had been, and how you’d charged it to your work account.
“That’s my girl,” he praises, still looking the knife over. Then he rests it in his lap, so he can roll up one of his sleeves, talking all the while. “Now tell me what you want me to do to you.”
So you do, explaining you’d quite like to be blindfolded but not restrained, to keep your colour system as the safeword, all while Poe is pressing the blade at different angles into his forearm, testing out different pressures.
When you pause, watching him, Poe glances up at you. “Go on.” Is all he says, and you nod, swallowing.
“I’d quite like it if you pulled the knife along my legs.” Your voice is quiet, but sure. “And maybe the same with my arms.” You pause, feeling nerves rising inside you and reminding yourself that this is your husband.
“I think… pressing the blade around my breasts would be sexy.” Poe pauses as he presses the flat edge of the blade into his forearm. “Just tracing around,” you continue, slightly braver now you have piqued Poe’s interest. “Maybe you could hold it against my throat? I don’t… I don’t know when, exactly, but I think it would be hot.”
You take a second, breathing deeper and you raise your chin to meet Poe’s gaze, feeling more confident as you continue. “Maybe you could hold it against my throat when you fuck me.” Poe’s gaze is fire, burning through you as he loosely holds your knife in his hands. “Maybe you could blindfold me and tell me that you wish the knife had a sharp end so you could carve your initials into my skin, showing that I belong to you.”
“And,” you start to move now, hopping off the desk so you can straddle Poe, easily plucking the knife from his hand, and looking down at it. “Maybe one day I can use it on you, and I can tell you how much I want to carve my initials into your skin.”
“Because we belong to each other,” Poe murmurs, his voice low. You nod in agreement, mouthing at his pulse point, and trailing sloppy kisses above the cut of his uniform. “I’d love that, sweetness.” His hands are running up and down your sides. “I love you.”
You just hum happily, content to be breathing in Poe’s scent, to feel surrounded by him. You’re interrupted by a knock on the door, and you just sag into Poe, the knife pressing slightly into your stomachs as you nose at his throat, unwilling to face the inevitable departure.
“What is it?” Poe’s voice is once again hard and forceful, impatient with whoever dared to interrupt.
“Sir?” The voice is young and you turn slightly, just enough to spy a young recruit in your peripheral view, not quite brave enough to enter the room, instead choosing to dither in the doorway, holding a number of files. “I’ve got these for you to sign.”
Poe just huffs, not bothering to address the recruit. You know what’s about to happen so you untangle yourself, before leaning over to grab one last kiss from Poe before the evening. It starts off innocently enough, a small peck on your husband’s lips as a goodbye, but then you back for another. This time his mouth is open as it meets yours, and you happily deepen it, despite the awkward angle that you have to hold yourself at. Your earlier conversation has fuelled your desire, revving you up, and the idea of waiting is hellish.
You taste all of Poe, moving one hand to his face, moving to feel the slight scratch of his beard underneath the pads of your fingers. His hand moves to cup your jaw, and you forget about the recruit standing in the doorway until there’s a slightly awkward shuffling in the corner.
So you break away, slowly, unwillingly, Poe’s mouth following even as you stand to your full height. “See you later,” you murmur, leaving your blunt knife in his lap, and pressing one more quick kiss to his cheek.
His hand catches yours as you leave, and he lowers his lips to your knuckles, soft lips juxtaposing with the harsh strands of his beard. “I love you.” They’re commonly said words between you, but they never lose their power, especially not when Poe says them, like you’re a goddess on a pedestal and he’s an unworthy sinner who wants nothing more than to worship at your feet. Said reverently, like it’s a privilege to love you.
The recruit is forgotten again as you look back down at Poe, still unable (or maybe unwilling, you’re not entirely sure) to tear yourself away. This time it’s a small, almost involuntary clearing of the throat that makes you duck down again for a kiss on the other cheek. “I love you too.”
Poe flashes you a quick smile, before all softness leaves his face and he turns to the files the recruit is holding out for him. You admire him for a second by the door, proud of the terror that Poe can instil in those below him so easily.
***
You’re lying on your bed when Poe enters the room. He’s already taken off his shirt in the refresher, exposing his chest, the warm glow of small lamps around the room making his chest look more golden than usual, as though he’d been touched by Midas. The belt holding his trousers up is slung low around his hips, and you can just see where his snail trail mixes into a darker bush, just peeking over the top of the fabric.
You’re wearing some of your favourite lingerie, bra matching your panties, straps criss-crossing your hips, and outlining your breasts. It’s soft against your skin, the satin material outlining your curves, allowing your nipples to poke through the flimsy fabric. Part of the reason that it’s your favourite is because Poe loves it so much.
You’d heard him enter your rooms, so the book in your hands is just for decoration, more concerned with the way you look resting among the pillows, upper body raised artfully against the headboard as you wait for your husband.
It still gives you a rush to call him that, and you idly wonder if it’ll ever fade.
He’s put his holster on, the one he wore on that mission, the strap doing nothing but emphasising his thigh. You recognise the handle peeking out of the shaft, and your mouth goes dry with excitement.
And Poe’s only looked at you, silent as he takes you in. Just his presence can have such an effect on you. When he does speak, his voice is hoarse, and your eyes flick down, admiring the already large bulge in his trousers. “Fuck baby.”
You swallow, your breath already coming faster, you look at Poe like it’s the first time, tracing the outline of his shoulders as if you don’t already know them by heart. He’s wearing his necklace, a familiar sight, the only change being that the ring that used to hang on his breast bone is now on your left hand, but Poe still never takes it off.
You plan on moving to Poe, plan to blow his mind before he can blow yours but before you can he’s already crawling on top of you, holding his weight on his forearms either side of you, dipping his head down to kiss you.
This kiss isn’t like the one in the office, more hungry, more urgent. There’s none of the calmness simmering between the surface, Poe’s let go of his control.
You automatically hook your legs around his waist, already canting your hips upwards as you grind on the seam of Poe’s trousers.
You separate your lips from Poe’s, moving down his throat, kissing, and biting as you go, beard scratching the skin on your face, pleasurable little bites of pain. When you can, you grab hold of his chain between your teeth, tugging on it slightly.
You move your hands up to bury your hands in the neat curls on top of Poe’s head, pulling in tandem with the chain.
And just like that, with a flash of fluid movement, the knife is pressed dangerously against the column of your throat, pushing your head back onto the pillows, forcing you to release the chain. It’s cold, and feels sharp, and Poe’s using it to force your chin back and up, pressing into your skin.
“Are you going to behave?” His voice is a growl.
You just grin at him, ignoring the thrills shooting up your spine, and the way your legs are tingling with excitement.
“Maybe you should use that knife and find out.”
Poe just rolls his eyes in response, fishing into his pocket as he leans back. “Put that on, sweetheart,” he instructs, tossing you a small square of black silk, your blindfold. “And lie back.” You do as you’re told, putting the blindfold on carefully, adjusting it around your hair for comfort, before scooting down the bed and lying back.
You close your eyes behind the blindfold, never enjoying the sensation of seeing darkness, and instead feeling like you’re floating as you wait for Poe to do something.
“Colour?”
Stars you can’t tell where he is.
“Green!” Your voice is embarrassingly desperate but you want to start and what is taking Poe so long? Why isn’t he touching you yet? You can hear him moving around the bed, feel the slight disturbances in the air, but you’re still not entirely sure where he is.
The first thing Poe does is pull at the waistband of your underwear. You lift your hips, helping him pull them off, and then you wait. You can hear Poe breathing, but he doesn’t do anything for a moment and you’re free to let your imagination run.
Has he discarded them, and he’s just watching you? Admiring you? Or is he holding them up to his face, still in awe of how wet you get for him, smelling you, tasting you, without you even knowing? You’re wet, you can feel the heat gathering between your legs, but has it been enough to leak onto your panties?
And then the foot of the bed dips, Poe travelling up to straddle you, coming to a rest on your thighs. He sits there for a moment, not moving, and you keen for him, desperate for him to start doing anything.
You can’t see the look on his face, can only imagine his expression, and it’s driving you wild.
When the knife first touches your skin, it’s a shock, cold thrills shooting up your arm from where the knife is resting lightly on the inside of your wrist. You giggle, releasing some of the tension building in the room, causing Poe to lift the knife from where it’s resting, instead leaning over to bite the skin under your ear, his chest brushing yours. “Concentrate,” he admonishes you, but you can feel him smiling against your skin at you, that softness that comes easy to him when it’s just the two of you.
You arch your back towards him as he stays there, enjoying the feeling of his chest against yours, the way his warmth spreads through you. You can feel his chain trapped between your bodies too, a warm, comforting presence, at such odds to the knife in Po’e hand.
You giggle again, his beard tickling your neck when he drops a kiss, when you feel the knife turn on your skin and curve up your arm. It’s cold, and sharp, and if you didn’t know it was blunt, you’d be worried about the amount of blood running into the bedsheets. The sensation is enough to stop your laughing, and you take in a breath, short and barely audible.
Poe’s sat up now, away from you, and you arch your back towards where he must be, desperate for contact as he travels the knife slowly up your arm and across the front of your shoulder.
You struggle to press your legs together, already attempting to relieve some of the pressure building. Poe doesn’t miss your subtle squirming, kissing the soft underside of your jaw, before talking. “That feel good?”
You nod, whining out a “Yes Poe, it-it feels so good, don’t stop, don’t stop, stars.” Poe adjusts himself, bringing one leg over your thigh so he can fit a knee at the junction of your legs. One of your  hands flies down to grab Poe’s thigh, clumsy fingers looking for him before spreading across his warm skin. Your other hand is already fisting into the sheets at your side.
“Poe.”
It’s a whine, high-pitched and a bit pathetic, even as you shift your hips down, feeling the delicious grind of Poe’s uniform catching on your bare pussy, imagining the mess you’re leaving on his uniform not for the first time, feeling oh so good when you angle your hips in a certain way to press your clit. You’re soaked, you can already feel it slightly on your inner thighs and you dimly remember a time when you were embarrassed at how easily Poe aroused you.
He uses the knife to push the straps of your bra down your shoulders, cold and slow and achingly painful, but Poe doesn’t slide them all the way down your arms, even as he allows you to keep grinding your hips down against his leg.
He lowers his mouth to your breasts, mouthing at your nipples through the thin fabric, a wet heat pooling and you mewl in protest, impatient and wanting more. Always more.
More, more, more.
You don’t think you could ever get enough of your husband.
And his beard. The skin on your breasts is soft, sensitive, and you can feel the burn already, even through your bra. Each scratch sends a thrill up your chest, settling in your throat as you let out small noises of enjoyment for your husband.
Poe moves under your breasts, kissing and nipping at your exposed skin, and you move your hands to his head, fumbling a little at first, your knuckles accidentally knocking into the side of his face when you misjudge the distance, until you find his thick curls.
They’re soft under your fingertips, and you tangle your fingers in, tugging every now and then. Poe’s moving at an excruciating pace, and you want more now. Your arms are caught slightly in your bra straps and you impatiently push them down, not liking the restraint.
“Please, Poe.” You struggle to find his head again, before giving him another, harder, tug, and now it’s Poe’s turn to moan against your skin.
“Baby,” He sounds just as broken as you feel, even as he keeps his hands on your shoulder, the knife resting gently against the column of your throat.
Poe peels your now-wet bra from your breasts, undoing the centre clasp and allowing it to fall to the bed at your side. He kisses somewhere on your stomach, moving his free hand down, slipping through your folds easily, and dipping in his fingers, spreading the slick that’s gathered there, and you widen your legs further in an automatic attempt to make it easier for him.
You can’t help it, lifting your hips when he slides in one finger, gasping in pleasure. Poe gives you a second to adjust, before stretching you with a second finger, and you can feel his smirk as he kisses your stomach, crooking his fingers towards your sweet spot a couple of inches inside you, moving slowly as he teases you.
His chain just touches your skin when he kisses you, each movement jostling it a little, and you giggle, pulling at it in a futile attempt to control Poe’s movements.
Warmth is spreading all over your body despite the cool knife, and you can feel droplets of sweat beading, on your face, your neck. You’re sure there’s sweat on your breasts and stomach and legs too, but you don’t care.
Poe moves the knife from your neck, and you’ve lost your concentration, unable to figure out how he’s lying, lost in the sensations of the cold glide of the knife over your sweaty body as you moan, Poe working magic with his fingers. You can feel his weight on top of you and you allow yourself to float further, willingly losing yourself in the sensations.
“Colour?”
Poe’s voice is hoarse, even as he keeps moving his fingers inside you, building you up and up, the knife hesitantly pressed on the underside of your breast.
Your arch your back towards him enthusiastically, gasping out, “Green! Poe, it feels so good!”
The knife starts to circle the flesh of your breasts, pushing in the side of one, before Poe moves it to the other, and you’re sure your nipples are hard. You’re trying to push your body up, Poe making you feel light and airy and like he’ll raise you above such mundane things as lying in a bed.
His fingers are moving in and out of you now, and this is so close to your fantasy from the other day that you come close to your peak embarrassingly fast.
“You really like this, don’t you?” Poe’s purring in your ear, and you tip your head towards him, mouth falling open in response. You do. You do really like this.  
The only sound you can make is a strangled moan, and you hope Poe knows what you mean, his fingers speeding up with your confirmation. He keeps talking, as though you’re going to be able to answer, his voice only spurring you on. “I bet you can’t wait to do this to me, my filthy little thing.”
“Do you want my cock? I can’t wait to get you bouncing on my dick again.”
“You’re so wet for me, you’re dripping around my fingers.”
And stars, you are wet, Poe’s fingers sliding in and out with a practiced movement, his thumb flicking at your clit, and you can hear the squelching of Poe’s fingers in your pussy, even as blood starts to roar through your ears.  
“Fuck,” you swear, panting, your body hot. “Fuck, Poe. Poe.”
It’s like his name is the only word you can remember, the only word allowed to pass your lips, a prayer, a chant, repeated over and over again as he lifts you higher.
And then the tip of the blade is on your nipple and you’re going to come, you can feel it, your legs tensing even as your hips writhe on the sheets below you, keening for Poe, still desperate for more.
You cum with a breathless gasp of Poe’s name, hips bucking upwards into Poe, your pussy clenching around his fingers which don’t stop moving as he works you through it. He moves to kiss you, noses bumping as he adjusts his position, slowing the movements of his fingers as you continue to spasm helplessly below him.
And this is better, because as you come down from your high, your heart beating like a drum in your chest, you can feel Poe’s chest against yours, his heart beating nearly as fast as yours as your lips move slowly against each other.  
Your hands come up, pushing the blindfold onto your forehead, preventing any sweat from dripping into your eyes and you take in the sight before you. You’re unintentionally giving Poe your bedroom eyes, you know, unable to open them fully, still giddy from pleasure. There’s a lazy smile on your lips as you drink Poe in.
His hair has become disheveled from your hands, errant black curls flopping everywhere, including his own forehead, which is gleaming from a thin sheen of sweat. His eyes are dark, that lovely brown colour almost swallowed whole by his pupils and his lips are pinker than usual, swollen.
He’s straddling your thighs, one hand resting on your hip with glistening fingers, the wet catching on your sticky skin while his thumb idly draws patterns into your skin. Poe’s other hand is holding onto the knife, and you let your eyelids dip, unable to keep them open for much longer.
Poe gives you a minute of rest, allowing you to catch your breath, before he moves. You don’t think anything of it, until you feel the knife on the inside of your thigh, scraping up your leg like an old-fashioned razor.
You slowly lift your head, opening lazy eyes and watch as Poe slowly moves the knife up. There’s slick liquid on your legs, proof of your release, proof of how much you enjoyed Poe, how much you enjoyed the knife, now collecting on the edge, white and shiny on the blade.
Your mouth’s dry and you can’t tear your eyes away, you and Poe concentrating on the same spot.
And then, oh maker, Poe closes his eyes, and fuck, he lifts the knife up to his mouth. There’s a flash of white teeth, pearly and sharp, then a swipe of his pink tongue, and your cum is gone, Poe swallowing, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.
Stars, he’s going to kill you.
There’s a drop stuck to his beard, but you can’t move, frozen as arousal courses again through your body.
Your heart is hammering in your chest as though it’s trying to escape. This time it’s your turn to move, pushing Poe down and straddling him, settling into his lap.
This isn’t the end.
***
Taglist: @darthdameron
Thanks for reading! Reblogs and comments mean the world to me 🥰🥰🥰
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transcending-time · 3 years ago
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All I’ve Ever Known - Obi-Wan x Reader (4)
Ch 4. Modern Tea Shop AU
Pairing: Fem Reader x Obi-Wan
Trigger Warning: No trigger warnings for this chapter! Just Fluff!
Description: (Y/N) has been working in a tea shop for the past couple of months while living with her mother. On the outside, everything seems wonderful. (Y/N) is a positive and smiley individual who just wants to make others happy. But looks can be deceiving. Underneath that positive smile is hurt and vulnerability from a living situation that is less than ideal. One day a stranger enters the shop and changes her life forever.
Authors Note: And we finally get to the lesson!!! Sorry this is posted later in the day than usual, I didn’t end up having enough ideas until now. But! I digress! Thank you @where-fantasy-meets-reality and @mrskenobi19 for the encouragement of the thirsty thoughts of reader bwhahahhahah And thank you to all of you who have been following the story so far! Love yall!
Previous Chapter: Ch 3
Tag List: @where-fantasy-meets-reality @s-r-clowns @mrskenobi19 @stomponmemommy
If you would like to added to the list please let me know! If I forgot to add anyone please send me a message!
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               (Y/N) locked the door to the shop and turned around to face Obi-Wan, smiling lightly. He offered his arm to her with a grin. 
      “Shall we?”
      She linked her arm in his and smiled. “Yes we shall, Mr. Kenobi” 
       The two made their way towards the studio, laughing and smiling on their way there. (Y/N) could feel her heart beating fast in her chest from being in contact with Obi-Wan. They were so close together. The thing that made her the most nervous however, was actually playing in front of him. She was so out of practice, what if she embarrassed herself? She could play a couple of songs by memory still but what if she slipped? A thousand thoughts filled her head as they walked. Obi-Wan kept talking but she could barely hear a word he was saying with her nerves so out of whack. She smiled once in a while to make him think that she was listening. (Y/N) felt bad that she couldn’t concentrate on his words, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying or interest. Her brain was just like that sometimes when she was nervous. 
       “What level of piano did you get to?” he asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.
       “Oh umm I think it was Level 6, but I got so busy over the years that I wasn’t able to continue”
       “That’s fair. I’m sure that once you get into it it’ll come back to you. Once you learn how to play some form of music, it never truly leaves you after all. It’s all a part of muscle memory... Just like you and your happy feet” he teased, referring to her talking earlier about how her feet moved unconsciously when listening to celtic music.
       She let out a giggle “ My dad says that all the time that I have happy feet. Just like the penguin movie”
      “Smart man. Don’t worry about being out of practice. That’s why you’re here, yes? To start again” he smiled comfortingly. “You don’t need to be Mozart on the first practice’
       “Good to know the bar isn’t set too high” she giggled, grinning widely. 
       “Well, as astutely put by Anakin, I do believe you’d need a ladder if I set it too high”
       “....Are you calling me short?”
       “No. Just vertically challenged” he had a cheeky glint in his cerulean blue eyes.
       "Ha! You're just as impossible as him! It’s not my fault I’m surrounded by tall trees like you and Ani”
‘I’d certainly climb you like a tree’  She thought to herself and suddenly her cheeks heated up slightly at the sudden random thought. 
‘Where the fuck did that thought come from?? SHUT UP BRAIN. Stop being crazy’. That’s what she got for having a neuro-divergent brain, she internally groaned. 
       “Come now, your height isn’t so bad. I think it’s quite adorable” 
       “Always the charmer” she rolled her eyes and giggled.
       Soon they made it to the studio and Obi-Wan opened the door for her like the gentleman he was. They were quickly greeted by the secretary the moment they stepped foot inside.
       “Oh! Mr. Kenobi did you leave something?”
       “Actually I was able to fill my last spot last minute” 
       “Oh! That’s great! And who is this?” the woman smiled.
       “Hi, I’m (Y/N), a pleasure to meet you” she smiled at the secretary.
       “Pleasures all mine, dear. You both should head to the back then” 
       Obi-Wan led her to the back of the studio and opened the door to his piano room. She had to say, they spared no expense in how luxurious and spacious it was. There were windows overlooking the town, bringing much sunlight flooding into the room. The floors were sandy coloured hardwood with a tall ceiling and bright white walls with all sorts of decorations covering them. She could see the many instruments hanging along the wall, but then right in the middle of the floor was a beautiful sleek Yamaha piano. Clearly it was well taken care of, not a single speck of dust on it. In front of it was a beautiful leather seat, long enough for at least two people to sit on if need be. It made sense considering he would need to show how to play certain things to his students. 
       “Welcome to my studio. What do you think?”
       “It’s amazing...And this piano is...absolutely beautiful”
       “Isn’t it?” he chuckled “I like to make sure that everything is comfortable for my students and of course keep the piano pristine so there aren't any issues for them” 
       “It certainly beats my old piano school. It was a small venue and the space was literally only the size of a small storage closet”
       “Ooof...That must’ve been stuffy. This will definitely give more breathing room. Might be more comfortable for you this way” he smiled. “Why don’t you take a seat. Maybe warm up with a few scales. Go as slow or fast you like”
       She bit the inside of her lip as she sat down on the seat, pulling it up to bring her closer to the piano. She still remembered the different notes, where to put her fingers, and it seemed to flow naturally. (Y/N) took a deep breath in and out before starting to play a C scale. Better to start off with the easiest and get harder. Her fingers gently glided over the keys as if no time had passed when she had last played. He was right, muscle memory was quite remarkable. 
       “C scale. Very good. How about trying another?” he smiled and nodded.
       “Ok” she nodded as she repositioned her hands in a position for G minor, wanting to go a little more difficult. She always enjoyed how minor keys sounded, it was almost spooky sounding. Again her fingers glided over the keys with grace, and went slightly faster as her confidence began to be boosted by her remembering her own skill. When she was finished she turned behind her to see Obi-Wan just standing behind her. He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.
       “Very good. G minor. Not an easy one. You see? You have more skill than you let on”
       Her cheeks became warm and she smiled “I suppose. I still have a lot to catch up on though…”
       “Do you know any songs?” He looked at her curiously.
       “Well...I...remember a couple of songs…”
        “Would you mind playing one for me?”
        “I...umm...sure” she said nervously as she shakily positioned her hands to play the song, as well as pressing her foot down on the pedal. 
                   Her fingers started to glide over the keys as the familiarity of the song came into her head. She loved this song, but she hadn’t played it in a while and she was nervous. She winced as she messed up the keys, her hands becoming shaky from nervousness. 
       “Sorry. Crap...Umm…”
       “Hey, hey…” he said in a soft and soothing tone “It’s alright, darling. You don’t have to rush this. I’m not here to judge you, just to help you” He was directly behind her now and reached his arms around her, his arms trapping her in place. His face was so close to hers, his chin nearly touching her shoulder as his hands slipped over hers. “Try to relax. Loosen your hands a bit...That’s it…” her heart was beating so fast as his large hands covered hers, putting them back into position. She took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes. She could smell the freshness of mint from him. When she opened her eyes, he slowly retracted his arms, letting her get comfortable in position. 
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            “Oh umm… wait just...one sec” she reached into her pocket and fished out her glasses. “Sorry I know I look dorky I just need them when I’m playing or I’ll get a headache”
       He smiled brightly “I don’t think you look dorky at all. I think they suit you quite well. Very distinguished”
        (Y/N) smiled and blushed “Oh...thank you...That’s very sweet…”
       She took another deep breath before she started playing again, this time, in a much calmer state and could actually see the notes better now that she had her glasses on. She always felt insecure when she put them on, feeling like she looked weird. But hearing Obi-Wan compliment her like that, made her heart sing. 
                                                    (Song)
       (Y/N) could feel the music flow from her fingers, driving her forward to play. Her fingers seemed to easily remember what they were supposed to do and the melody reflected that skill. The song was both beautiful but also sad. While she played, she could hear the lyrics playing in her head, spurring her forward to pick up speed. 
Obi-Wan smiled wide, seeing how well she played. The song was quite beautiful, though not one he recognized. And she seemed to play it with ease. She had a good ear for music, and he was excited to teach her more. With the way she was playing currently, she would easily be able to pick up his teachings quickly. That’s if she decided to continue with his lesson after this, he certainly hoped that she did. 
       The song began to wind down and soon it came to an end, letting her lift her fingers from the keys and foot from the pedal. She turned around to see the smiling face of Obi-Wan. 
       “That was wonderful, (Y/N). You have a gift. All you have to do is now nurture it. I believe you will be able to increase your skill in no time”
       “Thank you, Obi. That means alot to me. You really helped as well so...thank you”
       “It’s my job as a teacher to help my students. How about we run through some exercises? Together” 
        She nodded with a smile as he sat down beside her. 
                                                               ---
       Obi- Wan kept smiling as he entered the door to his townhouse, the goodies from the Tea Shop in his hand. He couldn’t help but feel elated at how things had gone today. (Y/N) was a special woman, and he couldn’t help but be drawn to her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes. He wanted to know her better. 
He dropped the bag on his counter before sifting through it, seeing the little baggie of peach tea that (Y/N) had snuck in there. He chuckled and with a grin he held in his hand. 
       “That cheeky girl…”
       Soon however, another thing caught his attention. A note? He picked up the small piece of paper.
‘Thank you so much for letting me go to the studio today. I have to say I’m quite nervous to play for you, but I’m really happy that I’ll be able to pick up the piano which I dearly loved. Please accept this tea as extra thank you. Let me know what you think of the tea! 
                   -(Y/N)’
       He smiled and chuckled, appreciating how sweet she was. But then his eyes widened as he looked beneath her signature. It was her number. His grin grew ten times wider as he saw that. He brought out his phone, typing in the number and sending a quick text.
Hello (Y/N), it’s Obi-Wan. You did very well today. I was very impressed. Let me know if you want me to pencil you in for another lesson. I’d be more than happy to. Btw…thank you for the tea and lemon bars. I will thoroughly enjoy them ;) 
He pressed the send button. He was surprised at how quickly he got a response however. 
Oh! Hi Obi! I see you read my note hehe Thank you again. You are such a good teacher. Thank you for being so patient with me
Of course, darling. It was my pleasure to teach you. And a pleasure to see you again, as always. I hope you have a lovely night, dear (Y/N)
You too, Obi. Thank you <3
          Obi-Wan smiled but then got an idea, looking at his schedule quickly and grinned widely. “Perfect” he said to himself as he started texting again.
Oh. I was wondering something. Do you have any days off next week?
Yes I do. Monday and Tuesday
I have a spot open on Monday morning at 11am for a lesson if you would like. Perhaps we could go to lunch afterwards
A few minutes passed and there was still no answer. He wondered for a moment if he was pushing too much, going too fast. However, the ding of a text assuaged his fears and brought a smile to his face.
I would love to :) 
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starbornvalkyrie · 4 years ago
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ACOSF USA BOOK TOUR NOTES
Hey y’all! I just attended the LiveTalks Los Angeles event with Sarah J Maas and Eva Chen!! I took lots of notes so I wanted to share them with you all! They’re a little incoherent on the page, so it might seem a crazy, they jumped topics a lot. Feel free to chat with me about what she talked about! But first.
MY RULES:
NO SHIP OR CHARACTER SLANDERING. I know that we all may have different opinions. I will not offer my opinions here, this is purely informational for those of you who did not have the opportunity to attend this event.
PLEASE NO ARGUING IN MY COMMENTS OR ASK BOX WITH ME OR ANYONE ELSE WHO COMMENTS
Acknowledge that I am not perfect and may not have written down everything perfectly. I did my best while still trying to enjoy the event.
I AM NOT SARAH J MAAS AND CANNOT INTERPRET WHAT SHE MEANS
I’m tagging this with #acosf spoilers and #acosfspoilers just in case.
If you understand and can abide by these rules, keep reading below the cut, and enjoy!
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SJM said it was weird doing this event from her living room where you might be able to hear her dog in the background or her son trying to get into the room.
ACOSF started as a passion project while she was writing ACOWAR! It was never anything she thought she was going to publish. (more on this later)
About reading and writing growing up
in middle school, she read a lot of fantasy
in high school, she didn’t read as much, but wrote A LOT. it became her fixation, almost an obsession.
in college, she only really wrote on vacations (she had a very healthy social life hehehe) but her junior year is when she found her balance between schoolwork, writing, and socializing.
there was no plan B for her!! it was always to be an author. if it didn’t happen right away, she was going to find a job that would get her by until plan A could come to be.
her favorite author growing up was Garth Nix. She longed for books about badass women. She got to meet him and write a blurb to be on one of his books! She cries when she meets her favorite authors.
Talk about character names!
her character names come from everywhere and nowhere
sometimes she’ll just hear a name in her head and think “that’s it!” (Rhys, for example)
she needs to know the name to write the character
if the name doesn’t immediately come to her, she spends a lot of her time on baby name websites and makes lists until it clicks
sometimes the names just... connect. sometimes she doesn’t mean for them to.
it will always be uncommon. never “Frank” lol
Writing about Nesta!
on a “surface level” she loves writing when Nesta comes out to fight. for example, her favorite scene in this aspect to write was the bog scene. As soon as she got to it, it flowed out of her. The final product was almost identical to the first draft. She wrote it in one session, from the terror & tread to the “who am i?” to when she emerged--she went YES. MAJOR Mic Drop moment for her.
going deeper: definitely her overall journey was one of the favorites she’s ever written. From the dark place she’s in at the beginning to the very end. 
Writing about Nesta meant so much to her because of her own mental health. She channeled a lot of her own feelings and went on the journey with Nesta.
it was a lot of “how do you face mental health in a fantasy world without therapy and medication”
it was easy to get into Nesta’s mind but emotionally intense.
ACOSF’S BIG MESSAGE: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS. YOU ARE WORTH OF LOVE.
YES there is a book planned for Elain!
As soon as Nesta and Elain came onto the page again in ACOMAF, she knew they’d get their own journey.
Nesta grabbed her by the throat in book 1
She was originally contracted for only the first three books but realized there was more she wanted to explore. Essentially the “what comes next” after ACOWAR in this new world with out the wall.
FUN FACT: while editing ACOMAF/writing ACOWAR, she drunkenly told her editor at the time, “hey guess what happens next?”, and it turned into a two hour conversation about everything she wants to happen for Nesta, Elain, Mor, Azriel, etc. TWO WEEKS LATER, she gets a call saying they want to buy the stories!! Obviously, she said yes.
This allowed her to start planting the Easter eggs for these stories in ACOWAR. She knew she did not want Nesta to be sympathetic at the beginning of the book! But she did not want people to hate her.
She always has one eye on the horizon for future books.
If she could visit one court for a day, which and why?
She LOVES the season Autumn, it’s her favorite. “BUT EVERYONE IN THE AUTUMN COURT IS AN ASSHOLE”. She would want to visit the Autumn Court when no one is there so she can enjoy the beauty of Autumn.
But also she would want to go to the Summer Court because she has a thing for Tarquin but only if it’s not gross and humid.
She would ALSO want to go to the Day Court for Helion and all his libraries.
ESSENTIALLY she would want to go everywhere but Spring because Tamlin sucks and is an asshole lmao.
BEAST FORMS
SJM’s beast form would be something totally not cool or majestic like a sea otter.
Nesta’s beast form would be something terrifying and beautiful like a snow leopard/dragon hybrid, a griffin, or a sphinx. **WANTS SOMEONE TO DRAW THIS**
FUN QUESTIONS
Nesta’s favorite smutty book would be JR Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. She reads these books for the distraction, of course, but also for the comfort they gave her that everything turns out okay for the characters.
Nesta’s Starbucks order: cappuccino- something simple, nothing with too much sugar or whipped cream. Elain’s would be a Frappe- something delicious and sweet. SJM’s is a flat white, iced or not, but never after 2PM.
SJM usually listens to classical music and movie scores while she writes, but she’s gotten used to write in silence so that she can listen for her son’s shenanigans with Josh.
“Stay Together for the Kids” by Blink 182 semi-inspired the scene when Nesta and Cassian go back to her family’s cottage. She can hardly explain why.
WRITING ADVICE
Write what you love, not what you think you should be writing.
Give yourself permission to suck. Her first drafts are shit and are usually accompanied with an email that says “I know I need to fix this, this and that” lol.
WRITE THE DAMN THING. Vomit on the page!
YOU CAN’T FIX A BLANK PAGE.
Her least favorite part about the publishing process is the first pass of copy edits, those last minute checks and balances. But once it’s off to the printer, it’s not her problem anymore.
She’s every publisher’s worst nightmare because she sends it off to the printer at the LAST possible minute.
For reference: Throne of Glass was finished almost... a year and a half? ...before it hit shelves, but ACOSF was finished this past fall.
MAIN CHARACTER TALK
All of her heroines have a piece of her.
SJM’s personality is a hybrid of Bryce and Nesta.
Feyre and Nesta got most of her in terms of learning to be empowered.
She has to have a connection to them in order to write them. It’s an out of body, method acting experience.
MISCELLANEOUS
She said “CC2 is a year from now.”
She started writing ACOTAR in 2008 before she published TOG.
She loves the story and dynamic of Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Cassian is Elizabeth. Nesta is Darcy.
And that’s all I have, folks! Thank you for reading, I hope you got something out of this!
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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years ago
Note
Do you know of any fics that have John at the Surgery in them? It wasn't really explored in the show so... it can be just like one scene within a larger fic, but I haven't been able to find any fics with this. TIA
Hey Lovely!
Ahhhh you know, I have a lot of fics where he’s at the surgery, but I’ll be damned if I can remember them all!!! Here’re the ones I do remember! <3 Please add your own fics, my friends, if your fic is in the Surgery!
JOHN AT THE SURGERY
See Also: 
Hospital Fics
Hospitals Pt 2
Doctor / Caretaker John 
Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2 
Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 3 
Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 4
Excerpts from Purgatory by reapersun, what_alchemy (E, 5,829 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Doctor John, Reunion Fic, Rough Sex, Angry Sex, Bottomlock, Fic with Pics)  – John serves community service in homeless shelters for chinning the superintendent. Unbeknownst to him, the Homeless Network has his back.
The doctor is in by PlainJane (E, 7,581 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Sex Therapist, Anal, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock is a young alpha with an aversion to his cycle. John is a gender medicine specialist. Nothing could possibly go wrong... Part 1 of Doctors and detectives
The Acronym by DancingGrimm (T, 15,057 w., 12 Ch. || Humour) – "'Bee Ay Em Eff'. Hm, that's a new one on me. Do you know what it means, Sherlock?" John might not know what it means, but there are many little ways in which he proves the acronym suits him.
The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.
A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.
The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series
Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?
Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  
Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.
The Quiet Man by ivyblossom (E, 157,369 w., 58 Ch. || Post-TRF, John First POV, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Present Tense, Imaginary Sherlock) – "Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"
MARKED FOR LATER (tagged with “Surgery”)
Milk, the Flu, and Harry by Inactive Account (sassybleu) (M, 1,609 w., 1 Ch. || Insecure Sherlock, Understanding John, Angst with Happy Ending, Sherlock’s Called ‘Freak’) – John leaves Sherlock for a few days (angsty) John says things he doesn’t mean (“you’re a freak”) Sherlock thinks he deserves it (he’s insecure) and packs John’s bags for him while he’s gone. John is to blame (bad day at surgery-Sherlock being Sherlock; he’s frustrated and snaps)
Inhale With Ease by Vulpesmellifera (E, 25,989 w., 8 Ch. || S4 Divergence, Covid-19/Quarantine, Jealous John, Love Letters, Victor Trevor, Divorce, Angst with Happy Ending) – In the years after Vivian Norbury's capture, life seems to work out just as John planned. He's got that respectable job at the surgery and goes home to his wife and child. He joins Sherlock on cases a couple times per week. It's a rhythm he can live with - just enough adrenaline highs to balance out the drudgery of a normal bloke's life. Until a pandemic, and Victor Trevor, arrive in London.
Turned - Part I : Queen and Country by saintscully (E, 76,008 w., 20 Ch. || HLV Divergence / No TAB, Graphic Sherlock/OC, Spy Sherlock, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Army Homophobia, Emotional Infidelity, Physical Infidelity, Slow Burn, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Johnlock) – Moriarty’s message never gets broadcasted. The airplane taking Sherlock away never returns.As rumours begin to swirl about a British POW found alive in Gaza ten months later, Mycroft shows up at John’s surgery with some good news: Sherlock is alive, and he’s coming back. In this story, inspired by ‘Homeland’ and ‘Prisoners of War’, John and Sherlock are left with no choice but to re-examine everything about their relationship since Sherlock’s fall. Part 1 of the Turned series
You Go To My Head Series by 7PercentSolution and J_Baillier (E, 937,347+ w. across 22 Stories || Series WiP || Surgeon AU || Medical Realism, Autism Spectrum, Anaesthetist John / Neurosurgeon Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Addiction, Angst, Slow Burn, PTSD, Pining, Insecurity, Additional Tags Under Link) – This series is an alternate universe one, featuring the exciting medical and romantic adventures of doctors Watson and Holmes. (I haven’t read this one, but JUDGING by the topic of these stories, I imagine there’s a lot of surgery scenes lol)
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truglori · 4 years ago
Text
Homebody (Ch.12)
Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...
Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick OC
Warning: Language, Smoking
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1 1/2 months later
The music from Amiyah’s speaker played at a low level. She was currently in the process of setting up an organizer for her perfume collection. Going back in forth between the instructions on the manual and screwing in the tiny nails she was growing frustrated. It’s been almost and hour now and she was only able to put together two shelves. Throwing down the paper she stood up and slipped on her house shoes. Amiyah needed a break to keep herself from becoming irritated so she walked to the kitchen for a snack.
Keys unlocking the front door caught her attention. It was Durk walking in with another Louis Vuitton bag for the fourth time this week. Amiyah knitted her eyebrows together wondering what was up with all of the shopping he’s been doing. She watched him walk to his to put away his items before he walked back into the livingroom.
“What’s up sis? You didn’t have to work today?” Durk asked pulling out his weed tray and breaking down the bud.
Amiyah walked over to him and sat down. “Nope I was just getting ready to make me some food but I’m too tired to cook.” Taking a pillow she cradled it in her lap.
He snickered rolling up his blunt. “I’ll order something for you if you want?”
Nodding her head Amiyah grabbed the remote to the tv and turned it on. She flipped through the channels hoping to find something to ease her mind for the moment. Durk leaned back next to her sparking up the blunt. Amiyah watched him inhale and exhale the smoke through his nose. Reaching her hand out she made a gesture asking for a hit.
“You know damn well you don’t smoke.” He removed the blunt from his mouth but handed it to her anyway. Durk figured it would be funny to see her try to get high for the first time.
Amiyah grabbed it using her nail tips she took a pull and inhaled the smoke smoothly and blew it out. She did it a few times and then she passed it back.
Durk furrowed his brows looking surprise before sending her a blank stare. “Miyah who the hell taught you how to do that?” He asked gently snatching the blunt away from her.
She laughed and was about to say his name before she caught herself. Shrugging her shoulders her eyes fell to the floor. The grip on her pillow tightened against her chest. Her memory went back to the night she watched how Erik did his technique in the car and she copied him. The thought of him made her sad all over again. Amiyah would always do good until she did something that reminded her of him then she would get a strong feeling of emotions that washed over her.
It’s been over a month since she last seen him. Since the night she ended it with him to be exact. After that it was like he never existed. No more phone calls or text messages. He hasn’t even been by the apartment since then either. Before, if she saw her brother coming in she knew that Erik would be right there behind him with his beautiful smirk on his face that displayed his dimples. But there’s been nothing and it made her miserable inside.
Amiyah didn’t want to be the reason for him to not come over anymore. She was used to seeing his face almost every other day and to see that it changed because of her made her upset with herself. Not only that, because of his absence, Amiyah didn’t know if Erik and her brother were still good friends. Durk had mentioned his in a conversation a week after their last exchange and that was the last time. Amiyah was worried about him. She wanted to know how he was doing but mostly she wanted to have a second chance with him.
“Yo what you got a taste for?” Durk snapped her out of her thoughts.
“Uh it doesn’t matter. Whatever you order.” She sighed sitting the pillow next to her.
He nodded his head as he finished his blunt putting it in his ashtray. A text notification came to his phone. Amiyah heard him curse before messaging whoever it was back.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just going back and forth with this promoter about letting me throw a bash at the club for the night. You know with Valentines Day coming up on Saturday.” Durk answered staying on his phone.
Amiyah knitted her brows. “Why you tryna throw a bash? Why not just get VIP and call it a night?” She asked confused leaning her head on her hand.
Durk smacked his lips. “Because I’m doing this for the whole hood. Plus it’s a celebration for something else that I’m not telling yo nosy ass about. But I’m have my niggas to the right and nothing but bad bitches to the left. It’s bout to be a movie.” He playfully plucked her nose before getting up going into the kitchen.
Amiyah followed after she heard who he planned to have there. Erik popped into her head. She wanted to know if he was going to be one of the members in the group. She had to know so she figured she could ask for an invite.
“Well can I go?” She sat on the counter next to him.
Durk chuckled. “Since when you go to parties?”
“Since now. So can I come?” Folding her arms she pressed for the second time.
“No. Amiyah I’m not allowing you around these people. You know I don’t like you being around that type of shit anyway.” He stated while eating grapes from out of the package.
Amiyah scoffed. “ ‘Allow’? Durk I thought we just made up about this. You promised you would stop treating me like a baby and let me live and learn responsibility. That was what you told me, remember?”
After her and Erik’s first argument she had him take her home. Later that night Durk came back to find her there. He was happy that she decided to come back and they talked out their problems. Amiyah told him how she felt about him treating her like a child and how he had to stop. Durk was hesitant but agreed in letting her make her own choices from now on to help her become responsible.
Placing the bag of fruit on the table Durk eyed his sister folding his arms as well. He shook his head as he gave in.
“Damn alright you can go but yo ass is standing beside me the whole night. I’m not playing with you Amiyah.”
Interrupting him Amiyah hopped off the counter jumping up and down clapping her hands. She skipped up to him and wrapped her arms around his body giving him a bear hug.
“Thank you big brother!” She grabbed his face bringing it down to kiss his cheek.
“Miyah stop acting like I keep yo ass chained up in this house all day ‘fore I change my mind. Extra ass.” He pushed her away.
“Okay I have to get an outfit, my nails done. Can I bring Kelly? Who’s all going to be there?” She rushed him with questions.
“I guess you can bring the one and only lil friend you got.” He laughed.
Amiyah pushed his shoulder. “Okay but who’s gonna be there?” She asked hoping to get the answer she was anticipating for.
He shrugged. “I don’t know shit Moe, Erik, Cane, and a few other people I rock with.”
Her heart stopped when she heard Erik’s name. But when she heard Cane’s she felt her stomach flutter with nerves. How the hell did her brother know Cane? It was too much for her to catch up with the fact that two of the guys in his circle had her caught up. If they were both planning on being at the bash then Amiyah would try her best to avoid being around them at the same time.
“Cool!” She gave a half smile.
Durk snapped his fingers. “Oh I’ve been meaning to ask you. Your birthday coming up in a few weeks. Got any plans?”
“No not really. Why?” She stepped closer trying to figure out what he had planned.
“If you down I was thinking outta the country and a place that has dazzling white sand and water so clear that you can see your toes in it. What you think about that?” He asked speaking in a narrator tone.
Amiyah covered her mouth. “Please tell me you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about?”
Durk laughed at her reaction. “You tryna go to Turks and Caicos or what?”
Amiyah jumped on him as he caught her. Turks and Caicos was one of her top places she had on her traveling bucket list. She couldn’t believe that he was able to make this happen for her. She was truly greaful but curious.
“Wait I want to go but why you trying to bring me now? You coming up on here with shopping bags every other day and now you taking me on vacation. I mean I know you got money and everything but did you win the lottery or something?” She asked playfully unable to contain her smile.
He laughed. “You asking too many questions. Next week I’ll give you some money so you can start shopping for the trip. But right now I got to go check out the venue I’ll be back. Love you kid.” He tapped her head before leaving.
Amiyah smiled watching her brother disappear out the door.
__________________________________
“So you tryna tell me you never saw the movie Soul Food?” Harmony stopped in the middle of crocheting her blanket.
Erik chuckled shaking his head. “Nah I told you I wasn’t a big movie watcher growing up.”
“But Soul Food is a classic though. Like how you do as a black person go your whole life without watching it? Make it make sense Erik?” She giggled going back to her knitting.
“Damn you ain’t gotta come for my childhood like that though.” He sat up on her furniture.
“Oh that’s right I keep forgetting your younger than me so I understand.”
Erik rolled his eyes shaking his head. He was 25 and she was 26. Harmony only had him by one year and always had to bring it up almost every time they got together. But Erik knew it was nothing but jokes with her. They were at her duplex hanging out for the afternoon. Over the past couple of weeks Erik got acquainted with Harmony really well. Her and her brother took over the bar where she worked that her parents passed down to them. She lived right around the block from him. But also they had a lot in common. Both were private people, had similar taste in music, like the same foods, and the lastly great at being single.
Harmony surprised him the first time they had a real deep conversation. She let him know that she wasn’t too bothered with trying to get into a relationship. She said she always had problems in the past so she never did much to try to strive for a new one, but she did remain open minded in the same instance. To Erik she was cool about it and didn’t really bring it up unless he spoke on the subject. They were only friends but they did mess around two or three times, if you want to count a quickie in the bathroom of the bar that she worked at as once.
Their escapades started two weeks ago. Erik thought for sure that he was going to have to deal with her sudden clingy-ness but it didn’t turn out like that. He had to reach out to her afterwards and Harmony told him that she was okay with being friends and fucking at the same time. After that they became somewhat close friends.
Erik got a text from Durk asking to meet up with him about the Valentines Day bash he was throwing. Sending a text back that he was on the way he slipped his phone in his pocket and stood up from the couch.
“I would love to stay but I gotta meet up with someone.” He looked down at her.
Harmony stood up nodding her head. “I’ll walk you out.”
Walking to the door Erik turned around. “Listen my mans is throwing this party on Saturday. If you want to come you can if you free.” He sucked in his top lip.
Harmony smirked biting her bottom one. She stepped closer towards him with a hand on her hip. “You tryna introduce me to your boys already?”
He glanced back in her house before back at her. “I’m just inviting you out to have a good time but if you happened to meet them while doing so then shit yeah.”
Grabbing his shirt she pulled him down to her level and kissed him. Erik wrapped one of his free arms around her tiny waist and traveled down her back to her ass cheeks gripping her left one. He felt her moan into his mouth before she broke the kiss.
Wiping the gloss from his lips she pushed him away and smirked. “I’ll be there.” She stated eyeing him up and down and then closed her door on him.
It took Erik twenty minutes to make it to the auto garage. Getting out and locking his car he headed inside to see Durk, Moe, and Cane gathered around one of the vehicles parked inside. The moment Erik made eye contact with Cane he felt the anger within him ignite. Just being in his presence always made Erik put the blame on him for how things between him and Amiyah ended. When he found out that he took her on a date behind his back Erik was heated and wanted to fuck him up but had to hold off because he didn’t want Durk to know the reason behind it but when Amiyah told him that he kissed her Erik was livid. He couldn’t believe that the same kid who he thought he would like was the same one who turned out to be a snake.
Erik kept his distance from Cane since he put the two and two together and kept it that way. They never said a word to each other unless they had to work with Durk. Strictly for business and that’s all. But Erik was still on edge with Cane knowing about him and Amiyah even though they weren’t together anymore, he just didn’t like the fact that the little nigga had something on him.
Walking up to the trio Erik dapped Mor and Durk, purposefully leaving Cane out. Durk gave a look wondering what was the animosity that the two had against each other all of a sudden before shaking it off.
“What’s up E! Fuck you been at nigga?” Durk asked leaning on the hood of the truck.
“Chillin. So what’s going on with this party you throwing? What’s up with that?” Erik stood next to him between him and Moe.
Durk smirked and paused looking at them. “I just figured I could celebrate the fact that I’m fifteen million dollars richer than a bitch and now in business with Shawns old connect.”
“Damn nigga you finally made that shit happen. Now you could put me in charge of some of these corners, take some of the load of your hands.” Cane spoke with excitement as he dapped him up.
Durk laughed. “Nigga you gonna have to earn that shit. Ain’t nothing given over here.” He nudged him back.
Cane smacked his lips shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Aye congrats man.” Moe spoke up.
Durk saluted him before turning to Erik.
“Erik what you think about that? You know when we get our first few keys I’ma need some help. I want you to be my partner.”
“Nah. I’m not tryna get into this type of business man. I told you after this last job we just did three weeks ago was it for me. I’m done.” Erik spoke truthfully.
Durk shook his head. “Well you didn’t look done to me when we was getting that money.”
*Three Weeks Ago*
Moe sat behind the wheel of the all blacked out SUV. Erik rested in the passenger seat while Durk and Cane hid in the back. Parked at least 200 ft away from the small luxurious house with a fence surrounding the perimeter. Erik used his binoculars to find where his target and accomplice were. It was eight at night and Alexis sent Durk a text letting them know that the two of them would be leaving soon. She informed them about the weekend trip he was bringing her on and told them that it would be better for them to come and get the money after they were gone.
Erik heard an irritated sigh leave out of Canes mouth.
“When these muthafuckas gon leave? I’m tryna get these M’s and be out. We already looking suspicious being in this big ass car.” He sucked his teeth putting on his black gloves.
“Nigga would you shut the fuck up. Yo ass been talking for the past ten minutes.” Durk blew out smoke from his blunt.
“Look she said they was gonna be out any minute now so chill the fuck out!” Erik’s voice heightened without looking back.
Within the next fifteen minutes Alexis was walking out with Shawn. They put their luggage in the trunk before hopping inside the car. After a few minutes of observing them Erik watched as they pulled out the gated driveway and down the road. Durk waited until he got a text from Alexis letting him know that they were on the highway heading to the airport. Moe turned on the truck and pulled up right in front of the house to make it easier to getaway. Getting out Erik, Durk, and Cane put on their gloves and ski mask on their heads so that by the time they would walk inside the home they could pull them down to avoid any security cameras.
“Y’all niggas know the fucking drill. We get the money and we out this bitch. Cane grab the duffles.” Durk instructed as he put his glock on his waist.
Erik watched as Cane did was he was told. His expression was irritated by the fact that he had to take orders which Erik figured he wasn’t to doing. Cane had the attitude of trying to be a leader but he just didn’t know how to operate as one yet. Erik picked up his own duffle and walked to the driver side where Moe was seated.
“You remember the signal right? Hit the lock alarm on the truck in a pattern of three times if you feel like something’s wrong.”
“But Durk said not to interrupt unless I actually see someone coming.” Moe stated unsure.
Looking over towards Durk and Cane who were waiting Erik shook his head turning back to Moe. “Trust me man. If you feel like something is wrong give us a heads up. Better safe and out of jail than sorry. Got it?” Erik knitted his eyebrows letting him know that he was serious.
Moe nodded and rolled up his window. Erik then started to hike towards the gate. Entering the code that was given to him he put it in watching the wide gates open slowly. They headed towards the house. Checking around the perimeter of the area, they planned to avoid using the front door. So they asked Alexis to leave one of her side doors unlocked. Cane walked towards it first and wiggled the handle. When the door popped up with ease he looked back and smiled before sliding his mask over his face. Durk and Erik did the same following him inside.
The three pair of eyes wandered around in amaze as the toured throughout the luxurious mini mansion. Erik shook his head as he thought about how Alexis didn’t have a problem risking living like this just to satisfy her selfish needs. She had everything that she ever wanted. Money, cars, the latest fashion, and her hair and nails were always in tip top shape.
Not only that but this house that she could live in full time if she chose to. From the way she would tell them how Shawn was stuck on stupid over her let Erik know that the nigga loved her enough to put up with her and her how shit. There was no way that he was going around town not knowing what his own fiancée was doing. He had to know but just to stupid in love to do anything about it. Erik scoffed to himself never wanting to be that deep in love with someone.
“Aye y’all niggas come up here! I think I got something.” Cane shouted from the top of the banister on the second floor.
Jogging up the stairs, Erik behind Durk, went into the master bedroom. They looked around trying to see why he called them in there.
“Nigga what are we supposed to be looking at?” Durk asked through his mask.
“That’s what I thought when I came in here at first. Nothing looks out of the ordinary but check this out. This some rich shit here.” Going over to the walk in closet Cane pushed aside some of Shawns suits that was hanging up revealing a small red button. When he clicked it the wall slid to the side disappearing.
“You gotta be fuckin kidding me.” Erik whispered to himself.
It was a panic room. Inside the blue neon lit medium sized room was guns holstered against the wall. The ammo inside their cases sat to the side. Erik looked to the right to find that there was some of Shawn’s famous ice pieces laid out on a shelf. All of his most prized possessions was in this room and they had access to all of it. But Erik wasn’t here for that. They had a mission and that was to try and walk out with as much of that money as they can.
“Fuck y’all niggas doing standing around. Get to bagging this shit up.” Durk laughed unzipping his duffel bags.
The money was in a clear casing directly in the middle of the room. It was too much cash to try and fit it all in one duffel bag so they all got three each but it still didn’t look like it would work. Working as fast as they could they were starting to run out of room.
“Durk we don’t have enough bags for this shit.” Cane told him standing up.
Durk looked up at him while placing the stacks in his bags. “So then go run ya ass down to the truck dump it out and come back in here for the rest.” Erik could see that Cane looked confused through his mask. “Now!” Durk yelled.
After the repeated cycle of going back and forth it took them fifteen minutes to gather all of the money. Durk grabbed what he had left and went to the car while Erik and Cane got the rest. To Erik’s surprise everything was going smooth until he seen Cane reach for Shawns jewelry. He knew that it was a bad idea but decided not to say anything. That would be the consequences that Cane would have to deal with and not him.
The sound of the car alarm went off and they immediately ran out of the room and out the house. Throwing the bags in the back Erik hopped back into the car. Moe pulled off once they were safely in. Pulling off his mask he felt Durk slap his shoulder and laughing in celebration as if he just won the lottery.
“With all this money right here. Mufuckas gon be calling me the black Pablo Escobar because I’m bout to take over all of this shit.” Durk laughed smelling the cash.
Erik shook his head. He was glad that it was finally over but deep down inside him he had a terrible feeling that it was the worst decision he ever made.
*Flashback Over*
Erik folded his arms as he jogged his memory of the prior event.“I’ll have to think about it. This some serious shit you asking me Durk. Next level shit.”
Durk smacked his lips. “You always gotta think about some shit instead of doing it. But anyways, I’m doing a lil bash and I want y’all niggas to be there.”
Everyone shook their head agreeing.
“It’s gonna be some bad bitches in there right? I might have to throw on my best walking up in that bitch.” Cane joked around showing off his new Patek Philippe watch.
“I don’t know why you asking. They ain’t gon be worried about ya young broke ass with that pond shop watch you got on.” Durk clowned him rolling his eyes.
Erik smirked watching Cane dismiss him with a wave of his hand. “I’ll be there and I’ma bring a plus one. That’s cool?” Erik asked dapping him up. He seen Cane looking confused at him out the corner of his eye.
“So you done found someone else to get ya dick wet? I thought you was gonna be stuck on that bitch Alexis for a minute.” Durk teased him smiling.
“Fuck you worried about my dick for? Gay ass!” Erik laughed pushing him. “Nah she just a friend. I met her at this bar she work at down from my place. She real cool.” He smiled thinking about Harmony.
“Well I’ll be the judge of that when I meet her. I’ll see you on Saturday.”
The two dapped each other up with a side hug and departed from one another.
__________________________
“You sure your brother ain’t gonna have a problem with you putting on that outfit for tonight.” Kelley question Amiyah as she pulled down the front of her dress.
It was finally Saturday night. The night of the Valentine’s Day bash and it was fifteen minutes after nine. They were running late. Durk had told her make it before that time so that she would be let inside without any complications but of course she didn’t listen. Amiyah was stuck choosing between dresses as the time went by. After finding out that Erik was going to be there she wanted to look her best. She hadn’t seen him in a month and she was going to try and impress him some how.
“Why? Do I look okay? Does it fit my body right?” She rambled the questions as she tried to take off the fifth dress for the night.
Kelley rolled her eyes getting. She was already dressed and ready to pick her up by eight thirty but when she walked in Amiyah’s room she was still in her bra and panties.
“You look fine. I think that this is the one you should actually wear. You look beautiful.” She rested her chin on her opened shoulder giving her a soft smile.
Amiyah glanced at her appearance in her body length mirror. She tugged at the pink tie-dye fashion nova Rustic Root Ruched Mini Dress. Her shoulders were out in the open and her cleavage on full display. She knew that there was no way she would be around her brother tonight. Knowing him he would try to send her back home to change and embarrass her in front of everyone. Amiyah blew out air of frustration while throwing her head back.
“Your not just saying that because I’m taking too long are you?” She squinted her eyes at Kelley.
Kelley giggled. “Yes I am but it do look good now let’s hurry up and go before we don’t get in at all.”
Finishing up her final touches Amiyah did a last sweep over her body before grabbing her coat and heading out with Kelley to her car. The club was a good twenty minutes away but with there barely being any cars out tonight they made it in fifteen. Pulling up to the location Kelley and Amiyah both whispered a “damn” at the scene in front of them.
“Your brother wasn’t lying when he said that he was gon have the whole hood pop out.” Kelley exclaimed as she fortunately found parking.
“I guess he wasn’t.” Amiyah whispered to herself. She was starting to feel self conscious about her choice of clothing all over again. The expression was written on her face.
“Listen let me tell you this. We are about to go up in here and have the best night of our lives. We gon dance, diss any niggas that try to step to us, drink, and get fucked up. Don’t worry about what other people think. They already have an idea of you in their head so why stress yourself trying to change it. Fuck what they think.” Kelley lectured while applying her lip gloss.
Amiyah giggled nodding her head. Her confidence level going up just a bit from the pep talk. She answered her back with a “thank you” as they got out the car. Walking hand and hand, they walked to the front of the line. The music blasting on the inside was clearly audible on the out. Sounds of people complaining could be heard when they reached the bouncer.
“I hate to be the one to tell you beautiful ladies but the end of the line is down there.” The tall and buff light skinned bouncer pointed in the direction.
“Oh see we’re with her brother, the one who’s supposed to be hosting the bash, Durk.” Kelley spoke for them.
He raised an eyebrow looking back and forth between them. “Y’all with Durk?”
They nodded in unison while smiling.
“Yeah well you and everyone else. Now get to the back of my line.” His face stern and unfazed.
“Wait Durk is my brother and he told me to be here early but I was running late. Can you just let us in and I’ll bring him back out here to confirm it.” Amiyah pleaded with her hands folded.
“Girl you not the first one that claimed to be some type of family member of his to get in free. Besides I ain’t never heard about Durk having no sister.” The bouncer eyed her up and down with disbelief.
Amiyah sighed. She didn’t even bother to try and call him because she knew that he wouldn’t be able to hear it over the loud music. She gave Kelley an apologetic look as they started to walked to the end but the sound of someone calling her name stopped her.
“Amiyah?”
Turning around she saw Cane walking up to the front. He was wearing a white Christian Dior newspaper denim jean jacket. Underneath was a plain black Dior shirt and black washed jeans to match. Inhaling a sharp breath, Amiyah forgot about him being one of those included.
“Hey Cane. What are you doing here?” She replied softly. She was embarrassed being seen walking to the back of the line.
“I’m here for the party. Why you not inside?” He asked with a smile.
“The bouncer won’t let us in. He thinks we’re just tryna cut the line.” She shrugged rolling her eyes at the security guy.
Cane laughed catching her action. “Do you not know who the host is to this shit? Your brother, that nigga should be escorting you in.”
Amiyah laughed shaking her head.
“Come on. I got y’all.”
Kelley smirked at her as they folded their arms together walking back to the front. They stood next to Cane watching him speak to the guy.
“Yo Diamond, they with me and this is Durk lil sis. Remember her face and think twice next time before you try and keep her from getting in. Got it?” Cane tapped his shoulder creating space for them to walk pass.
“I got it.” The bouncer mumbled letting them by.
When they made it in it was packed to the max in the venue. There was beautiful women and fine men all through the place. Pop Smokes- Hello bombed through the speakers. Bottle girls danced while holding up Don Julio 1942’s and sparklers in the air. Amiyah was impressed with the turn out. She reached for Kelley as they both of their lips curled up with excitement.
“We bout to be lit as fuck.” Kelley yelled over the music.
Feeling a tap on her shoulder she turned to face Cane. His eyes traveling over her body made her stomach fill up with nerves. “Yeah?”
“VIP is up there. I think your brother would want you to be there.” Cane licked his lips. His eyes couldn’t stop going below her face.
Amiyah nodded. “Okay.” She grabbed Kelley’s hand as he led the way up the stairs.
Spotting her brother, Durk had different girls surrounding him. One was twerking on him while the other two recorded and took shots from the tequila bottles. Amiyah rolled her eyes at the sight. Walking over to him she patted his shoulder trying to get his attention.
“Can I help you?” He snapped his head at her.
Amiyah chuckled noticing he was tipsy but also that he didn’t even recognize her. “Really Derrick you don’t even know your own sister?” She folded her arms.
Pushing the girl who was dancing on him out the way he faced her looking over her. Durks face contorted up confused at her outfit.
“Who are you? Because I know Amiyah ass ain’t come out the house like that-“
“Don’t start Durk you promise.” She cut him off reminding him.
He took off his jacket and pushed it towards her. “Here at least put this on.”
Amiyah laughed pushing it away. “I left mine in the car for a reason. Leave me alone.” She started to walk away but felt him grab her wrist.
“Unh uh I didn’t forget. I told you you was going to stay beside me all night, so have fun.” He went back to letting the girls dance on him.
Kelley looked at him with disgust before turning to her friend. “I’m about to get us a drink from the bar. I’ll be back...maybe.” She stated the last part lowly but Amiyah heard it. She watched her leave the VIP section.
Opening up one of the 1942’s that was on the table Amiyah figured she could get her drink on right here. Tilting her head back she allowed the liquor to go down her throat. She made a sour face shaking her head from the taste. She repeated it giving herself four shots. Amiyah wasn’t much of a drinker so it didn’t take much to get her tipsy. Standing on the couch next to her brother she rocked side to side rapping the lyrics along to the song.
“Amiyah sit ya light weight ass down.” Durk yelled drunkenly towards her.
She waved him off and continued to do her thing. From the way she was standing she had a view of whoever was going to come in the section. She thought it was the liquor playing tricks with her until she saw him take more steps coming up. He was dressed in a two tone knitted Givenchy sweater with black jeans. The blinging from his watch and gold chains around his neck caught her eyes. When he smiled he revealed the gold canines in his mouth. His beard looking freshly moisturized and his waves on swim. His eyes were low which told her that he probably smoke a couple of blunts before coming inside. He looked so good.
Amiyah watched as he greeted everyone in the section with salutes and daps before walking up to her brother who was seated next to her.
“Nigga why the fuck you got to come up here and show me out for my shit?” Durk yelled playfully standing up and boxing him.
Amiyah watched as they interacted with each other. At least her question from earlier was answered. They look like they were still best friends.
“Come on man, this light work.” His voice coming out as smooth as butter.
“Yeah whatever nigga.” Durk turned towards her making her status known. “Miyah you not gon say what’s up to Erik?”
When she heard his name she got butterflies in her stomach. It was like it was her first time meeting him all over again. After a month of not seeing him nothing had changed. Her feelings for him never fading but only enhancing the minute she saw him.
“Hey Erik.” She smiled softly putting the bottle that was in her hand down and stepped off the seat.
Erik nodded his head towards her. “What’s good!” He stated nonchalantly. Amiyah couldn’t deny that she was hurt from the tone in his voice. He didn’t even smile at her, only just a nod. But yet they kept eye contact with each other.
“So where she at? I’m trying to meet this “friend”.” Durk asked doing the quotation marks with his fingers.
Amiyah stood to the side confused hearing her brother over the loud music. She didn’t realize that there was a small petite woman standing somewhat behind Erik until her brother mentioned the word ‘she’. She watched as Erik held her hand pulling her in front of him. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her into him as he rocked them side to side lightly.
“This is my friend Harmony. Harmony this is my best friend and brother Durk.” Erik smiled introducing them. Amiyah felt a sting when he didn’t even bother to introduce her.
She laughed holding her hand out to shake his. “Hi it’s nice to finally meet you. I heard a lot about you Durk.”
Amiyah observed Harmony. She was beautiful. Nice brown skin complexion, pretty hair that looked natural like it was hers, her outfit hugged her coke bottle shape. She had the perfect breast to hips and ass ratio. Her waist barely existing. Amiyah took note of everything. Everything that she dreamed to be but wasn’t. Sadness clouded over her face as she watched them embrace each other.
“Well I hope he told you only good things. But fuck all that you are beautiful ma. I don’t know how you ended up with this ugly ass nigga.” Durk joked around.
Erik gave him a straight face before laughing. “Fuck outta here. So what’s up where the drinks at? You know I need my shit.”
Durk nodded his head going to the table and grabbed his personal bottle of Hennessy and handing it to him. “Drink up!”
Amiyah watched him crack open his bottle and drunk it down like it was water. The little action reminding her of the time when she was at his condo and how he sipped on the bitter drink before showing her the crazy things he could do with his tongue. Amiyah bit her inner cheek grabbing her own bottle and throwing it back two more times.
“Damn girl you can drink.” She heard a light voice laugh. Turning her head while wiping her mouth she saw that it was Harmony.
Amiyah smiled shyly. “I’m just tryna turn up while I can.” Her words a little slurred.
“I’m Harmony. I came with Erik.” Harmony held her hand out again.
Amiyah glanced at it quickly before shaking it. “Amiyah.”
“That’s a pretty name. Are you Durks girl?” She asked genuinely.
Amiyah scrunched her face up doing a fake puke. “Uh no that’s my brother. I came here with him and my friend who’s somewhere around here.”
Harmony laughed holding her fist up to her mouth. She shook her head. “I’m sorry I just saw you standing up here next to him that’s all. Erik didn’t tell me he had a sister.”
“It’s okay.” Amiyah turned her direction towards Erik who was sipping on his bottle while listening to whatever Durk was telling him in his ear. Once again she was hurt when Harmony told her that she didn’t know about her.
For the rest of the night she remained in same spot. Babysitting the area. Kelley came back a few times trying to get her to sneak away but she didn’t want to. Her mood was ruined every time she would look in their direction to find Harmony grinding on Erik and him standing there catching what she was throwing. So she drunk her bottle and danced next to her brother who would wrap his arm over her shoulder as they rapped to whatever song was playing.
In the mist of the party Amiyah saw Erik whisper something to Harmony before getting up to leave the section. She figured she could use this chance to find him and talk to him. To see how he was doing. To get him to look at her the way he used to. Anything to be near him.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” Amiyah shouted to her brother who only nodded his head drinking out of her bottle.
Walking out the section she bumped and squeeze passed the bodies. She didn’t have a clue where he went. She thought she could catch up with him but with a crowd like the one that was in there tonight it was hopeless. Amiyah gave up trying to search for his frame over the party goers. She strolled to the back hall that held the bathrooms. Going inside the music level dimmed down making it easy to hear if someone was to have a conversation back here.
Dragging her fingers across the wall, her head stayed down not paying attention to what was in front of her causing her to bump into someone.
“Damn my bad.” His deep voice spoke lowly.
Looking up, it was Erik. His eyes were low and going over her body as he stroked his beard.
“It’s o-okay.” Her words becoming a stutter.
Erik nodded his head. She looked tipsy to him or maybe even drunk. He never seen her in this state so it was hard for him to decipher. But Erik knew that he couldn’t leave her alone like this. He wanted to make sure that she was okay.
“You good? You look a lil fucked up.” He spoke bluntly.
“I’m fine. I didn’t have that much.” Amiyah replied. She was tipsy but still was aware of what she was doing.
“I could wait until your finished in the bathroom. We could walk back together.” Erik shoved his hands in his pockets.
Amiyah leaned on the wall with her hands behind her back. “I don’t think your girlfriend would like the sight of us coming back at the same time.”
He smirked as his jaw clenched. “You worried about her when all I’m trying to do is make sure you make it back safe. I don’t want none of these weird ass niggas trying shit. But you thinking about Harmony.” He shook his head as he leaned against the other wall directly in front of her.
“I’m just saying she might get the wrong idea-“
“She’s not my girl.” Erik spoke up cutting her sentence.
Amiyah rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You told me that the last time.” She mumbled knowing he could hear.
Erik’s faces scrunched up. “What’s it to you? Why does it matter if she’s my girl or not?” His arms now folded.
“Because I just find it funny how quick you moved on that fast.” Amiyah snapped looking him up and down.
Erik chuckled. “But wasn’t it you that broke up with me? So I don’t get how you could be hurt by the fact that I’m moving on and you stuck.”
“No Erik I’m hurt at the fact that you act like nothing happened between us.” She was gaining her liquid courage when she stepped in his face. “And how you can just bring her here to meet my brother but not have the decency to even look my way.”
Erik sucked in his bottom lip watching her express herself. “Still don’t know what that got to do with you.” He shrugged.
He was just as hurt as she was. His feelings for her were still raw and there but he wanted to make her feel the same way he felt when she ended it with him. When Erik introduce Harmony to Durk and not Amiyah he did it on purpose. The way he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body close to his was on purpose. The way he let her dance on him in front of her was on purpose. He could feel her stares on them. Erik was hurt and he wanted her to know what he was feeling.
Amiyah scoffed shaking her head. “What is it about her that’s so special? What? The fact that you can fuck her without having to worry about her crazy ass brother finding out about it. That’s why you’re fucking her?”
Erik chuckled. “How would you know if I’m fucking her or not?”
“For you to be some drug dealer you sure are a fucking coward Erik!” Amiyah pushed his chest but he caught her by the wrist.
“I told you I’m not a fucking drug dealer and for someone to not ride dick...you sure are riding mine. Why you worried about who I’m fucking if you ain’t the fucking me?” Erik’s words were hard.
Amiyah stared at him. “I hate you.” She mumbled looking at his lips trying to free herself.
Erik backed her into the wall. He put her hands above her head and interlocking their fingers as he looked down at her and towered over her body. “Fuck you say to me?”
“I said I hate you-“
Her words were cut off with his lips connecting to hers. His hold left her hands and his arms wrapped around her waist. Traveling down to her ass he cupped both cheeks firmly. Erik felt his dick jump when she moaned into his mouth . Her tongue gliding with his as he felt the warmth of it overtaking his body. It’s been over a month since he felt her lips. Erik’s heart was beating fast knowing that it was risky to be making out with Durks sister and how anyone could walk in and see them. But he couldn’t stop and didn’t want to.
Amiyah moaned as she held his face bringing him impossibly closer than what he already was. She could taste the Hennessy off of his tongue mixed with her tequila. She was putting everything that she was feeling into this kiss. She wanted him to know that she missed him and wanted to start over. She didn’t mean it when she said that she hated him. With the alcohol and emotions getting in the way she wanted to say anything to keep him by her.
Erik pulled away with a tug of her lower lip and placed a soft peck on it. He cursed at himself for falling weak for her once again. No matter how much space they had away from each other she was always able to pull him in.
“What is it about her that I’m not?” Amiyah interrupted his thoughts. She tried to stop herself from asking the question but she wanted to know.
Erik sighed putting his forehead against hers. “You gotta learn how to stop questioning yourself when it comes to these other females. Your beautiful ma. Stop that shit.” He gave her one last kiss on the top of her head as he left her standing there alone going back to the party.
“Okay.” Amiyah whispered to herself.
__________________________________________
Please excuse any mistakes!
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sunshineseung · 4 years ago
Text
Little Secret Part 2 // Changbin
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🍄 | genre: smut mini-series ☁️ | pairing: Seo Changbin x female!reader 🌿 | wc: 3.6k 🌸 | includes: virgin!reader, kinda romantic, lots of smoochin’, lil bit of begging, reaaally soft sex, oral (f!receiving), consent :), protected sex, aftercare? ig
v Please read part one first! v
🌊 | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Finale |
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“Alright, I’m gonna go. Thanks for having me over.” Changbin thanked his closest friend, always polite and courteous to Jisung for allowing him to come over so often. 
“Cmon, you know you’re always welcomed here.” Jisung cleaned up their mess of popcorn and chips, tossing the bowls into the kitchen sink before helping Changbin leave. “See ya tomorrow in the studio, right?”
“You know it!” Changbin waved to Jisung as he entered his car. His car started with a hum, and the Bluetooth connected to his phone and continued where his Spotify left off. Ignoring whatever song was playing, Changbin dropped his forehead into the steering wheel as he faced the text message app in his phone. He patiently waited for you, staring at the bright screen, until he saw the familiar ellipsis text bubble appear in the lower-left corner. His face lit up with glee, and he felt his heart start beating out of his chest. 
Changbin knew all too well that you had a crush on him. You made it more than obvious, stuttering over your words whenever he talked to you or hiding in your room whenever he was over. He and Jisung would joke about it in an attempt to brighten an otherwise problematic situation, but deep down, Changbin liked it. He liked the way you stared at him when he would be shirtless around your house. He liked the way you would go quiet in your room whenever he would start to talk purposefully loud about his sex life. He even liked it when he would go upstairs to use the restroom and hear your little moans of his name from inside your bedroom. He was always such a tease to you, and he couldn’t deny that he liked you too, but not in the exact same way.
Changbin lived alone. He had his own apartment downtown, and although he was known for DJing at parties, he would spend a lot of nights alone, left to his own thoughts. To combat intrusive or self-destructive thoughts, he would jerk off, obviously. And as much as he tried to focus on the pornography in front of him, he would always end up closing his eyes and letting his mind wander to you. The image of you riding him, bouncing on his cock as your chest rose and fell, was a go-to for him whenever he needed to cum fast. The thoughts of you doing sinful things with him never appeared until the beginning of this school year when he saw you carry a package to your room that was not-so-discretely a package from a sex shop. He always thought of you as extended family, being his best friend’s brother and all, but after imagining what naughty things might have been in that box, his mind was set. You were the only girl that could satisfy him.
He knew his experience would frighten you, but he wanted to ruin you more than anything. Jisung had never seen you with a partner, and although this was second-hand information, Changbin would love to take your virginity, making you cum over and over again anyway he can. 
This was his chance. He never knew how to make the first move on you without Jisung noticing, but if this was how it had to be, then this is how it had to be. 
You walked out to his car after sneaking past your brother, taking a seat in the passenger seat of Changbin’s car, refusing to look at him, although Changbin’s eyes were focused on you. He smiled gently, attempting to lighten the mood.
“Look, I said I’m sorry.” Changbin placed a hand on your shoulder and you gulped loudly. You could have sworn you felt your heart to a frontflip. 
“Changbin,” your voice was quiet, scared of what was about to happen, “if you don’t want to do this, then I-”
“Y/n, you have no idea how much I want to fuck you.” You were speechless. You darted your eyes to meet his, and his gaze was dripping with sincerity and lust. “Let’s go back to my place. You can sleep over, I don’t care. I just want you right now.”
“Wa-want me?” You bit your bottom lip, unable to believe the current situation you were in. The boy you’ve had a crush on since middle school was about to fuck your brains out until the sun came up. Your mind was foggy, but not foggy enough to refuse Changbin’s advances. 
His right hand rested on your thigh the whole 30 minute drive to his apartment, and you almost started shaking just thinking about what he was going to do to you. All your filthy fantasies were about to come to life, or you hoped they would. 
Despite your excitement, the thought of Jisung finding out terrified you. Although you fought constantly, he was always protective. He would never let anyone lay a finger on his precious little sister. The only person that could bully you was him. If he knew what his best friend was about to do to you, he’d explode out of anger. 
Changbin knew this. He knew damn well what he was doing would upset his best friend, but he couldn’t let this go any longer. Changbin would make lewd jokes about you infront of Jisung, each time resulting in Jisung fake-puking and threatening the older’s life if he were to ever even think of fucking you.
Ah, if only he knew.
You arrived at Changbin’s apartment. The elevator ride to the third floor was silent, but Changbin stayed close to your side the entire time. Your mind was still a mess, but Changbin’s presence made you a little bit at ease. As painfully horny as he made you, he was still your first love. You loved to be around him.
Once inside of his apartment, Changbin eased you in and welcomed you, giving you a quick “this is the living room” tour. You sat on his couch per his request and nestled back into the soft upholstery. Everything smelled like Changbin (unsurprisingly), and you almost fell asleep the second you sat down before Changbin sat next to you and leaned into your ear.
“This is your first time, right?”
You nearly jumped out of your skin. His voice was deep and hardly above a whisper. You felt so hot, and the atmosphere was so hot, and when you looked at him, he looked so hot. Holy shit. This is happening. 
“Yeah, but that’s okay, right?” You leaned away from him, afraid he would pounce on you at any moment. He noticed the fear in your eyes, and his glassy eyes reverted to his soft, warm gaze. He laughed it off, gently placing his hands on your hips and pulling you onto his lap, earning a quiet yelp from you. 
“Of course that’s okay, baby.” His nickname for you melted your heart. You blushed brightly, and Changbin thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. He felt his chest get tight as a smile stretched across his face. “Tell me if it’s too much, alright?”
“Alright, Bin.” He leaned in, and you realized you hadn’t kissed anyone since Junior prom (Don’t tell Jisung! It was a one time thing!). What if you weren’t good enough for him? What if you were bad at this? What if-
Then his lips were on yours. He waited patiently for you to get more comfortable, never moving on until you began to kiss him back. The kiss was so light and sweet, something Changbin hadn’t experienced since high school, but it honestly made his heart sing. He was the one that was supposed to be teaching you! What the fuck was this? Your hands quickly found their place on his shoulders and the back of his neck as you pulled yourself closer to him. You could feel him semi-hard under you, and you gently pushed your body down to feel more of him without thinking that he would also feel you push down on him. He pulled back and hissed, cursing under his breath. You tried to apologize, but before you could utter a word, his eye contact made you speechless. 
“Eager, are we?” His smirk made your heart drop. God, he was so good looking it made your brain error. Of course you were eager, but you didn’t want to fully submit immediately. You were always a baby to him, so this could be your chance to have him see you as more mature, right?
“I just wanted to feel you.” Your sweet little voice made Changbin swoon. He knew you were innocent, and as much as he wanted to ruin you, there was an angel on his shoulder telling him to be gentle and caring. He wrapped his arms around you and brought you into another kiss, this time greedier and heavier than the last one, but you felt safe in his arms.
Changbin’s lips on your jawline felt like nirvana. He was so gentle with you, yet still domineering enough to make you entirely pliant in his arms, not like you’d know what to do if he actually let you be in control. You felt his kisses become rougher as he began sucking hickeys onto your neck. You arch your back and lean into his body, giving him full access to your neck. His hands went from supporting his weight at your sides to exploring your body, feeling you up over your shirt as slowly as possible.
“Take this off, princess.” Changbin tugged at the bottom of your shirt, hoping you get the hint. You nodded and hastily tossed your shirt off, exposing your braless chest. “Oh? Nothing on underneath?”
You looked down and covered your chest with your arms. Fuck, why were you so nervous? You’ve wanted this for years and now you’re shy? Changbin grabbed your wrists and slowly pulled you away from yourself, again exposing your chest to him. His face was unreadable aside from the casual smile that made your head spin.
“So beautiful.” Your face was as red as a tomato. His hands moved from holding your wrists to holding your hands, keeping you from covering your body. “This is what I’ve been missing out on this whole time? Damn, I should have done this sooner.”
He looks to you for any sign of discontent, but your soft puppy eyes tell him everything he needs to know, and he knows you need him. He dives his head into your chest, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, his tongue circling the sensitive bud, and takes your other breast into his hand, gripping your nipple between his fingers and twirling it gently enough to make you keen. He was so good at what he was doing, and you couldn’t help but moan and whimper, especially when his teeth began to tug at your nipple. 
Switching his head from one breast to the other, he briefly makes eye contact with you, and your adorably innocent gaze is enough to make him fully hard, his cock begging to be let out of his sweatpants. You looked so good, and the spit dripping from your chest lead down to where he wanted his mouth the most: your cunt. 
His heavenly touch left your chest, and you whined from the lack of stimulation before he stood up from the couch, taking you up in his arms in the process. He carried you to his bed, placing you down softly on the sheets. The smell of his overwhelmed you as you sunk into his pillows, quickly becoming blissed out and ready for more. 
Changbin joined you on the bed, taking his position between your legs, kissing your tummy and moving down to the waistband of your pants. You knew what was coming, but you didn’t know if you were ready. Your heart was beating out of your chest as Changbin looks to you again, lightly tugging at your pants.
“Bin, c-can you turn off the lights?” You point to the switch on the wall, and Changbin giggles before getting up and switching them off. The street lights from outside his window illuminated the room just enough for Changbin to still see the warm glow radiating from your body. He took a second to look at you, legs spread wide and chest arched up. Your eyes were glued to Changbin too, who had a noticeably large bulge in his pants. It was then that you realized you wanted this. You were ready for anything Changbin wanted to give you, to do to you. 
“You’re so fucking gorgeous, baby.” He comes back between your legs, and you raise your hips for him to slide off your shorts. The underwear you had on was nothing special, but Changbin loved it nonetheless. His fingers pressed your wet panties into your even wetter cunt, making the area fully drenched in your slick. You whined, desperately wanting more stimulation. 
“Please fuck me, Bin.” You didn’t know you had it in you to be so vulgar, and neither did Changbin. His eyes go wide as he looks up at you. You were so desperate, tears were lining your eyes. 
“Not yet, babe. Let me taste you first.” He slides your panties down your legs, adding them to the rest of the clothes. Now you’re fully naked, and fully at Changbin’s disposal. A single finger runs through your folds, and you whine when he begins to play with your clit, making small, calculated circles around the nerves. 
While your eyes are closed, he leans down and lays on his stomach to become eye-level with your pussy. His fingers leave your clit only to be replaced by his mouth, sucking and licking at your clit. You buck into his face subconsciously, and he can tell how much you love it by the liquid dripping out of your cunt. One finger slides in with ease, and when he bends it, you arch your back even more, and Changbin quickly finds your g-spot. 
“Bin, more, please.” Changbin could bust in his pants by how much you’re begging for him, but he loves it. Your voice gets so high-pitched and whiny every time you try to speak, but he loves it. 
He adds two more fingers, now thoroughly stretching you out. The drag of his fingers is insane, and he can reach deeper inside you than you ever could. You push onto his hand, subtly riding his fingers as he pumps them into you. His mouth is still attached to your clit, lapping you up like it’s his last meal. You feel yourself begin to become undone, and you throw your head back from the overwhelming pleasure.
“Bin, c-close.” That’s all you can squeak out before Changbin sucks harsher at your clit, pumps faster inside you, and makes you cum on his face and fingers. Your cum coats him as you shake from the most intense orgasm you’ve experienced thus far. You moan his name loudly, and hearing you curse so much is beyond sexy to Changbin. Your sweat reflecting the street lights, your back arched with your perky titties standing up, your beautiful moans and sounds. It’s all too perfect to be true. 
“Good girl.” Changbin takes his fingers out of you and sits up when you’re through your orgasm. He sucks off his fingers, tasting your sweet cum. The sight was too much, and you wanted nothing more than for Changbin to finally fuck you and take your virginity. “Is my girl ready for my cock?” 
“Y-yes Changbin, please, I need your cock.” You raise your hips, this time to get his attention back to your most sensitive area. He looks down and notices your neediness. Changbin’s shirt flies over his head and joins the rest of your clothes on the floor. He’s sitting between your legs on his knees, giving you a moment to ogle at his sculpted body, which you did.
You’ve seen him shirtless before, but this time was different. Now his body was over you, not across the room or in the pool. You subconsciously reached out to him, leaning forward and running a hand down his abs, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Changbin laughs, but you get unbelievably embarrassed in a matter of seconds, leaning back and covering your face with your arms. Changbin pins your hands above your head and leans down to kiss your blushing face all over until finishing on your lips, his tongue dancing with yours. “Don’t be shy, baby. Just calm down and let me take care of you.”
That smile. It was so sincere. You felt like he cared. Immediately, your heart burns with passion as you lean forward to kiss him while still being held down by his hands. His hands move down your arms to your chest, feeling you up one more time before you feel his hands leave your body. He breaks the kiss and leans to his bedside drawer, pulling out a condom. 
Without missing a beat, he pulls his pants and boxers down his thighs, his cock springing free. It’s a lot bigger than you had imagined, but that’s okay. You wanted him more than anything, and judging by the precum leaking out of his tip, he wanted you too. 
Changbin slides the condom down his shaft, making sure to pinch the tip of the rubber. He leans down and holds your hands at your sides, entwining his fingers with yours. You try to take deep breaths to calm down, but now that he feels so close, your heart feels as if it could burst out of your chest at any moment.
“This might hurt, but it will feel good, I promise.” He runs his tip through your folds, getting the head wet with your juices before lining up with your entrance. “Do you trust me, Y/n?” You nod, but that isn’t enough for Changbin. “Words, baby. Do you trust me?”
“Yes!” All you can do is whimper and squeak, a mixture of anxiety and excitement bubbling inside you. “Yes, Changbin. I trust you.” 
Changbin pushes his member into you, stretching you around him. It feels like you’re about to be split in half, like your lower half could just fall off. Fuck, was it painful. But as Changbin bottoms out, he just waits. He waits for your face to go from pure pain to pure pleasure. You’re biting harshly down on your lip, holding in any whines from the pain. After a moment, you let out a moan and push down onto his cock as if it wasn’t already fully inside you. 
“Bin,” your glassy eyes meet his, “move.”
His thrusts are slow and steady, making this the most enjoyable experience for you. Although you’re far from an orgasm, Changbin is scarily close. Your cunt feels like it was made for him. You’re tight, so fucking tight, but just enough for Changbin to still fit. He looks down and catches his cock disappearing into your dripping hole. The sight is filthy, and he loves it. If that wasn’t enough to make him close, your pretty moans were.
He knew your face was pretty, but your sounds, dear god your sounds. You sounded like an angel. Whenever you moaned his name, Changbin could feel his heart flutter. You sounded so damn pretty, like the best song he’d ever heard.
Changbin’s thrusts became more sloppy as he struggled to hold back his impending orgasm. You just looked so hot. The way your face scrunched up when he thrusted into you, moaning and whining with every moment. Your chest bouncing in rhythm to the sound of his balls hitting against you. It was all too much. 
You felt Changbin’s cock throb inside you, and you instinctively tighten around him. With a shaky breath, he cums inside the condom. His pretty little high-pitched groans as he came made you smile, thinking to yourself, yeah, I did that. 
He pulled out and disposed of the full condom. You held your arms out to him as he watched you sleepily make a little grabby hands gesture towards him. You looked so cute, how could he not cuddle with you?
Then you realized you had to pee.
But you came back as fast as you could to cuddle with him, pulling yourself into his chest, hearing his heartbeat and making your breathing in sync with his. His warmth enveloped you. You felt like you belonged there, laying in his arms with a gentle smile on your face as you were nodding off to sleep.
Changbin watched your eyes flutter shut, admiring how adorable you looked in his big arms. He wanted to talk to you, make sure you were okay, but you were already asleep by the time he collected his thoughts. All he could do was pull you closer, taking in the sweet scent of your messy hair.
Changbin was always hooking up with girls and going on dates, but nothing ever stuck. Recently, he’s been keeping to himself, and whether he’d like to admit it or not, it was because of you and his wicked thoughts. His feelings towards you for the past few months have always been of sexual attraction, nothing more. Now, actually having you in his arms, he didn’t know if his feelings were entirely rooted in lust or if he wanted something more… no. There’s no way Changbin was going to catch feelings for his best friend’s sister. No way. No fucking way.
How would Jisung react if he found out? How would he even find out? If you wouldn’t snitch, neither would Changbin, and you both subconsciously agreed to never utter a word to your brother. There was no way he could find out. No way. No fucking way.
🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯
An hour ago, Jisung got an alert on his phone. It was way too late for one of his booty calls to be texting him. What the fuck would alert him at this hour. 
Life360
Y/n arrived at Changbin’s Apartment.
No way. No fucking way.
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ohblackdiamond · 4 years ago
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kiss and homoeroticism
You wanted the essay, you got the essay. 
Disclaimer: Please remember, cynical as it is, that KISS has always been into portraying particular images of themselves, and can and will change with the times and what they perceive as showcasing  what they feels is the appropriate message/depiction. I’m not saying they’re never sincere, but, well, I’d take most of what they say with a grain of salt. And I say this for every single one of the original guys. They are all chronic exaggerators and often embellishers, and no showman worth his salt has ever let the truth get in the way of a good story. It’s all about perception.
There’s more of a focus on Paul here than anyone else and I do apologize for that; I just know more about him so he’s much easier to point out for an essay like this. 
Calling this something like “times KISS has directly tried to court the LGBT audience” may, sadly, be a little bit of a stretch and a little too inclusive-- what they were mostly courting was the gay male audience. But let’s start with some stuff that’s definitive and, well, devolve from there. This one got away from me a bit. All opinions are my own.
*Bill Aucoin, their first manager, and his boyfriend, Sean Delaney, were gay. There’s a joke here about how despite everything this is the only real way KISS ever emulated their heroes the Beatles (having a gay manager), but that’s beneath me. Bill and Sean were out as far as the band and its associates went (and as far as their area of the music industry/celebrity went), but not as far as the general public was concerned. This was not remotely uncommon for the time period. All band members were cool with it and Bill and Sean would sometimes take the band to gay bars. All this to say that KISS was not unfamiliar with the gay scene at all.
*Their very first outfits that weren’t courtesy their moms’ sewing machines had their initial inspirations in, of course, the glam rock genre (KISS was one of, if not the last group to make it big in glam rock), but also in the leather subculture and S&M. This influence starts to fade out from tour to tour, but is probably most evident, I’d say, in Peter’s first real costume.
*Their stage moves-- specifically the KISS sway, and Ace dropping to his knees while Gene and Paul do the sway-- are courtesy Sean Delaney. Does it look cool for three guys to be synchronizing their movements while playing guitar? Yeah. Does it simulate oral sex? Yes. Was that their intent? Yes. There are a handful of concert clips where they go even farther with it (here is Gene simulating oral on Paul , and the second gif is Paul doing the same with Ace/Ace’s guitar). I want to emphasize that they’re not the only band at the time that did things like this, and I also want to emphasize that, again, image is everything to KISS and they absolutely enjoyed doing this for shock value and to play themselves up as “transgressive,” subversive, and dangerous. (No, I don’t know why or when Gene started licking Ace and later Tommy; I don’t think Sean can be credited with that stage move-- I feel like Gene just saw Ace’s bare neck one horny evening and went for it, and Ace either didn’t mind or at least dug it enough that it just became a thing.) But it’s also intentionally erotic.
*Photoshoots-- Hotter than Hell and the White Room sessions are the main culprits people point to (and again, it’s worth noting that everyone in the Hotter than Hell session besides Gene is drunk, and everyone in the White Room session besides Gene is high), but there are plenty of other press photos where the guys are posing, humping, etc.
*Marketing-- I’ve said this before, but Paul in particular was marketed as bisexual (I hate that this needs to be said, but I am only speaking of his marketing and not his actual identification.), even in goofier stuff like the fake KISS bios put out for kids. Paul even admits that his note to the fans in Alive is deliberately gender non-specific in order to appeal to as wide a range of people as possible. 
*Paul’s 1989 Playgirl article-- Playgirl’s main readership was gay men rather than straight women. While the interviewer for his article is a woman, Paul’s also really aware of the magazine’s primary demographic, and talks about losing friends to AIDS. (This is not me casting doubt on him having lost friends to AIDS at all, but I don’t think he would’ve mentioned it in a “straight” publication, especially not during that time period, when knowledge about AIDS, its communicability, etc., wasn’t what it is now at all, treatments were limited to nonexistent, and homophobia ran very rampant.) He really plays up to the interviewer and the whole thing comes off like a more mature, nuanced version of his feature articles from ten years prior, sort of portraying himself as this put-together, thoughtful, sweet rockstar that’s so different from his image and wants to settle down-- he’s selling the rockstar boyfriend fantasy.
*You can argue plenty of ways for the general antics of Gene, Paul, Ace, and Peter in particular during interviews. Ace tends to like to touch the other guys on the arm/thigh/whatever’s around. Gene hits on female and male interviewers without really skipping a beat. Sometimes the whole band starts hitting on each other. Gene jokes about his and Paul’s secret relationship and makes rather forthright statements. In KISS’ most infamous interview, Tom Snyder makes a pass at Ace, and Ace, inebriated, reciprocates (”I’ve got a little piece of pipe backstage I’d like you to work on...” “Tell me about it!”).  Again, I’m not going to make any statements on any of their actual sexualities-- that’s not what this is about; these are real people. I’m only focusing on what’s being projected. whether it’s just meant as a joke to throw people off, envelope-pushing, or on occasion an appeal to their gay fans, it’s quite frequent. Ace and Peter are referring to their sexual relationship over here, though, for what that’s worth. 
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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago
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To Be Continued - Part 2
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Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead
Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)
Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy
Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>
Word count: 2205
Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue 
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Once you stopped laughing with your panic, you did what any other logically thinking person would do and rang the police. And you waited at your front door, not touching anything within your home in case you tampered the evidence further. You were already scolding yourself for eating the food prepared for you. What if it had been poisoned? You thankfully didn’t feel any worse off with your cold, if anything, you felt loads better.
Still, the anxiety ran high within you until the two officers finished checking everything over.
“It looks like the person who did this knows you intimately,” Constable Park said with a brief frown. “We’ll run the fingerprints we’ve managed to find through our system to see if they’re in it but I’m not sure what more help we can give you, Miss L/N.”
“Thank you, Constable, I appreciate your efforts all the same.”
“You said you’re a famous author, right?”
You grimaced. “I wouldn’t say famous.”
“I’ve heard of your name before,” Officer Yoon mentioned with a sheepish grin when you glanced at him in surprise. He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “My girlfriend reads your stories.”
“Ah. Please tell her I said thanks.”
“Could I actually get your autograph to give to her? I’d be in her best books for-”
“Dowoon!” Constable Park cut in sternly, causing the taller man to shrink back.
“I don’t mind,” you offered and headed back to your office for a pen and paper. You stopped when you noticed your favourite pen was missing. Surmising it had been moved during the police search; you reached for another pen and then wrote down a quick message for the young officer’s girlfriend before signing it.
You stopped again, staring at the message still displayed on your screen.
Your biggest fan.
Constable Park was back at your side again and you glanced up at him. “You mentioned just now about me being known and the message here…”
“Just make sure you keep the doors locked and maybe invite someone around to stay with you for the time being. As harmless as it’s all been, we do have more than one fingerprint detected today. Since you live alone and haven’t had anyone over in some time, we can confirm there was a second person in here last night. I know it’s easy to spend time being grateful to your avid followers but be careful with who you share your personal information with.”
A chill shuddered its way down your spine and you nodded hastily, taking the card the man held out. He smiled comfortingly. “If you have any other problems, Miss L/N, this is my direct line. Contact me right away, okay?”
“Thank you, Constable Park,” you replied weakly, reading the card and finding that his first name was Sungjin. You smiled when you looked back up at him. “I appreciate it.”
“Alright Dowoon, let’s head out and I’ll be in contact when we’ve checked the database,” Sungjin – Constable Park – stated and you nodded once more as you handed the autograph to his colleague. Dowoon grinned bashfully and thanked you all the way back to your front door, where you fare-welled the pair.
And promptly locked and latched the front door.
You had lived alone since your early twenties, too independent to work well with roommates. Whilst you had started out in a small, frigid apartment, you had cherished the space alone to create your fantasies into novels. You had only moved to your modest villa within the last year and adopted Binks, the only company you needed on a daily basis outside of your characters.
You weren’t recluse by any means, you just preferred your own company. Socialising was exhausting for your introverted ways, and even though you wanted to play it safe, you slumped down on the couch after the police left and groaned at how exhausting today had been so far.
“I’m sick, that’s adding to it,” you said out loud, and then caught yourself doing so, snapping back upright in your position. “I talk out loud to myself a lot, don’t I?”
Of course, your belongings didn’t reply. And Binks had gone into hiding when Sungjin and Dowoon were here, being afraid of men entirely.
Thinking over the care the stranger had given to even your cat, you decided they had to be female. It didn’t ease your mind any assigning a gender to this person. But it did help you feel as if you were getting somewhere with the mystery behind it.
“And once the police run all the necessary checks, hopefully, I’ll have more answers,” you announced, groaning when you had realised you spoke out loud again. “Oh, whatever! I don’t have to keep my thoughts locked up inside my head or spoken through my fingertips into a word document either! My house, my life!”
And with that, you got up and went back to your desk where you tried to seek out some normalcy for the rest of your day.
You checked emails before conversing with Lily who was animatedly retelling you of her reactions to the final part of the manuscript you sent her. You mentioned to her about what happened too. Lily, however, seemed to be more concerned about something you had written, after exclaiming over your safety. You watched the video screen where your editor, and probably the person who knew you the most aside from your mother, struggled with something.
You frowned. “What is it?”
“You didn’t put your usual The End at the final part for me.”
“Yes I did,” you corrected, leaning back in your chair. “You know me. I always put it at the end of every manuscript so you can’t nag me for more words. The End means I’m not adding to this story anymore!”
“You didn’t put it, Y/N,” she repeated, glancing up at you curiously through her laptop’s camera. “You put something else.”
“Look, I’ll prove it to you,” you announced with pure conviction, clicking on the word document icon on the taskbar and then stopped momentarily when you finally noticed that the story was still open. “That’s strange. I know I closed out of it last night.”
“Out of what?” she asked as you clicked on the tab and watched the document appear on the screen.
You immediately gasped. There, after the final scene of Charli and Brian, was no longer The End as Lily had announced. Instead, the words, To Be Continued had been placed there.
“I didn’t put that there,” you whispered and Lily laughed, unconvinced.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Y/N! Who else would have?”
“I sent it to you right after I finished and I swear I had The End written there.”
“Maybe your writing muse changed it on you,” she teased but you didn’t join her in the amusement. She sensed your shock and blinked a couple of times before focusing back on you. “You really didn’t do it?”
“What if they changed the whole story?!” you shrieked as you jumped to the worst conclusion, scrolling up until you found the line that Brian had spoken to Charli about waiting for an eternity for her. You relaxed a little when everything appeared to be in order. “Maybe I’ll name the third book in this series, Eternity.”
“Wow, just like that, you calmed down,” Lily observed and then nodded. “I like that.”
“I don’t know. I’m just a little sensitive.”
“You were taking medicine last night for the cold, right?” You nodded at Lily’s question and the woman smiled knowingly. “Maybe you took too much at once and hallucinated a little. Or blacked out and can’t remember much.”
“I’m changing it back to The End,” you told her, typing it as you did so. Closing the document, you smiled brightly at the video call. “I’m not adding any further words to Captivated, you hear me? You work your editing magic and I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Yes, Boss!” she cheered, waving to end the call and you powered off your laptop then, making sure to shut the lid down as well.
After finding Binks, you scooped him up in your arms, checked all the doors a final time before heading off to bed for much-needed rest.
You were still a little sick, after all.
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You awoke to the sound of your phone ringing the following morning and blearily reached out to silence it. “Hello?”
“Miss L/N?” a deep voice asked and you sat up a little, blinking away your sleep. “This is Constable Park. We met yesterday regarding your intrusion issue?”
“Sungjin,” you immediately said and then gripped at your blankets at your first name slip-up. Clearly, you were still grappling with becoming alert enough for proper etiquette.
He chuckled lightly. “Yes, shall I call you Y/N?”
“If it makes the situation still work well, be my guest.”
“Well, I’m not sure how happy you’ll be to have me calling you by your name, Y/N, in a moment.”
“No?”
“The results are in and there’s no fingerprint matching that in our database. Whilst that’s bad news for us to immediately act upon it, it doesn’t diminish the fact that someone had been there either.”
Despite being under your blankets, you ran cold, wrapping your spare arm around you to try and warm yourself back up. “I see. Does this mean you can’t do anything?”
“I’m afraid so. If you find anyone suspicious in your house or lurking around the outside, don’t hesitate to call me, okay?”
“Of course, thank you, Sungjin.”
“You’re the first person I’ve been called out to that’s called me by my first name, you know.”
“Do you find me rude for doing so?”
“It’s refreshing,” he admitted and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of being something different for the man. You then bit at your lip, realising you were overreacting all because a man in uniform had stepped into your home.
Okay, so Sungjin was really handsome. And you were deprived of seeing such handsome outside of your stories. Whilst he was no Brian Kang, he would definitely make for a great love story counterpart in a new world. Perhaps he helped the main protagonist and became her protector. Or maybe –
“Y/N?” Sungjin said and you blinked rapidly out of your racing thoughts, coughing a little to cover your embarrassment. “You okay?”
“Sorry, I’m still recovering from this fever,” you admitted, fanning at your face for effect. “Did you say anything else?”
“Yeah, I just told you to keep safe, okay? I don’t need to be worrying about you needlessly, right?”
Oh, you were so going to get up right after this phone call and start typing out these ideas flashing through your mind. However, you gave a moment more to the police officer and confirmed you would call him at the first sign of trouble before ending the call.
Springing up from your bedding, you dashed into your office and perched on the edge of your chair as you opened your laptop and turned it on. You were relieved to find everything in your office in the right place as you opened a new word document and tapped furiously on your keyboard to get down all your ideas for your new police officer au story.
And when you were finally done, you leaned back in your chair and giggled. You weren’t always inspired by people who stepped into your world, but this was solid content you couldn’t ignore.
“Perhaps it’ll help me live out my Sungjin desires too,” you admitted sheepishly before glancing at your pen stand. You remembered about the missing pen and searched on top of your desk and then scooted your chair back to look on the floor. “Where did you go, favourite pen?”
Not finding it anywhere, you pouted right as your stomach grumbled. “Ah,” you said weakly, clutching your stomach in your hand. “I best feed myself and Binks. Hopefully, that pen will turn back up.”
Once you had eaten and quietened Binks’ demands for his morning affection, you got dressed and readied yourself for a trip out to the grocery store. Next, you had to write out a list of what you needed and went back into your office, sitting down at your desk and reaching for some paper.
Your attention turned to your laptop, where you found your favourite pen sitting upon it. “What the…”
And looking up at the screen, another message awaited you.
 Sorry, I didn’t realise I had taken it with me after writing you the notes.
 Glancing around yourself, you froze with the fear that rose within. You hadn’t heard anyone inside the house during this time. Yet, there was proof someone had come in again. You looked to the window, it was firmly shut. There was no way anyone could have gotten inside the house without walking passed you first.
You then started to shake.
Had they been in here all night long again?
Just as you went to get up and fetch your phone to ring Sungjin back, you noticed a second tab open on the document screen.
It was Captivated. And once again, the last words read, To Be Continued.
_________________
Part 3
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jinrawon · 4 years ago
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Your wish is my command.Part V
Jinyoung x Fem!Reader. Royal AU.
Genre: Fluff, angst. A bit of fantasy.
Summary: When the crown prince, Park Jinyoung,  breaks his engagement he is forced to have someone he did not expect as his knight. Displeased with the idea, deep down he knows he will need her by his side.
Words: 2k-3k
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The job sure was tiring. You expected Jinyoung to be the type to stay in his room reading some books and even though that happened it didn’t last long. He had responsibilities of utmost importance, ones that you noticed didn’t decrease. It seemed as if he wouldn’t stay put in one place and he was not to blame, he seemed as tired as you if not more. You were sure he would gladly stay in his room reading but as the next in line for the throne he had no other choice but to attend meetings and take care of things that the king couldn’t. Poor Jinyoung was tired and the last days were busier than ever. You knew you were in no position to tell him to rest so you watched as he pushed himself over the limits. You knew it yet something told you to stop him. 
“ Your highness. “ After hours following him around he turned to look at you. You had only seen his back. Seeing his face you knew you should have stopped him sooner and you wondered if he was even aware of the state he was in. “ I think you should rest now. “ 
“ I have a meeting with your favourite Duke.” 
“ Then more the reason, you should delay it to tomorrow, I believe your schedule will be less worrying. “ He seemed to consider it for a while but he declined. “ It’s the Duke we are talking about, your highness. “ You crossed your arms and gave him a stern look. “ If he sees you just as you are right now he will take you as someone weak and you now we… you are not supposed to show weakness. You are going to be king someday, perhaps when the Duke is dead but if he isn’t then he will take advantage of this. “
He laughed a little but soon a frown was seen in his face.
“ What makes you think delaying it won’t make him think I am weak? “ 
“ I can give him the message, I will make sure he understands he is not important enough for you to worry about him. “ 
You were not entirely wrong. Jinyoung couldn’t care less about what the man had to say about his business, he just wanted to sleep for the rest of the day after taking a bath. The offer you gave him was tempting. 
“ He is a duke. “
“ He was going to marry me and not anyone else because the only thing he can offer is the title.” You answered. “ His money is decreasing because he doesn't know how to handle his own land. If it was me, yes, he could do something, but not against you. You have wealth and a title above his.” 
The way you spoke was convincing enough for him to call for a messenger. He was not going to send you, not to meet that man.  After giving the messenger a letter for the Duke he seemed less tense. He was going to be thankful for the break he was taking and therefore, he would be thankful to you. 
Both of you went to his room and you waited sitting on his bed while he was having a bath. You saw a small book he was reading and opened it to spend the time less bored. He finally finished and looked at you while you read. 
“ You should take a bath too. “ 
“ I’ll do that before going to sleep. “ You closed the book and looked at the prince in his nightshirt . He looked cute. “ You know how it is, I stay by your side until Jackson or Jaebeom take my place. “ “ Nice. “ He mumbled, clearly displeased. “ You are one to tell me to rest. “ “ I barely do anything, tho. “ 
He threw himself on the bed. 
“ You stay with me until the sun is up again, then you sleep for like what? Two hours? Then you have training with Jaebeom and then you come to me again. “
“ You must like me a lot, your highness. “ Your smile was smug. “ You know my schedule way better than I do. “ 
“ I also know that you slept during training this morning and Jaebeom scolded you. Wouldn’t be surprised if it happens again tomorrow. “ 
“ I am responsible, it won’t happen again. “ 
“ That’s why the other day you left your sword here. “ 
“ It was just the other day, tho. “
“ And Jaebeom almost killed you. “ He laughed. “ The sword I gave you at that. Should I feel offended? “
“ No! “ He was teasing you and you knew but everytime he did you fell in his trap. “ I left it here because I knew I would find it. “
“ RIght, I remember you saying something like…” He cleared his throat and smirked. “ Have you seen my sword, if I lose it I’m dead. “ He imitated your tone and the way you had said it, with gestures included. “ But sure, you knew where it was. “
“ I did… I just forgot. “
After answering with a “sure” not convinced of your excuses he grabbed the book  and read until he fell asleep. He would be lying if he said it was easy sleeping in someone else's presence but he did not feel uncomfortable around you and he was tired enough to forget about it. 
It was a week later when a visit to another kingdom was scheduled for the prince and you were supposed to go with him. That is why you found yourself sleeping on a carriage in front of the prince. It was early in the morning and he knew you needed sleep so he was not going to be the one to disturb you, however it would be a mistake to think he would not tease you about your sleeping face later. Of course not everyone had the same idea as him. They would not let you sleep that easily. Before even Jinyoung could notice you opened your eyes and grabbed him by the wrist pulling him to you. You were hugging him in your arms and soon an arrow was where his head was a second before.
“ Down, now! “ He was quick to do as you told him and you made him hide under the little space between the seats and the floor. “ Don’t get out until I get back. “ You opened the door of the carriage and he watched you get out. “ 
He could not think. He was not scared, he had gone through the same thing more times, times when he was alone. His heart was beating faster and he finally knew. He was worried something would happen to you, he could not face Jaebeom if some bandits or whatever was out there, killed you. He could not think straight. He knew what you had said but he knew how to fight. He could help you. 
“ So, where is the prince, young lady? “ The driver of the carriage was being held hostage and you wondered why those bandits thought that person meant something to you. “ If you don’t answer I may slice this man’s throat. “ “ What makes you think his life is any more valuable than the prince’s? “ The driver was scared and your words only made him more scared but you did not falter. Your job wasn’t protecting him, it was protecting Jinyoung. “ You may do whatever you want, I will take the reins myself. “
The bandit seemed out of his zone of comfort and you almost wanted to laugh. You did not want to leave the driver behind, it was not how you acted but they did not need to know that. 
“ Man, I feel bad for you, she is cold. “ He patted the driver in the back and tossed him aside having decided he was of no use. “ I’ll take care of you later.” “ You won’t. “ 
When the prince finally decided to go and help he saw the corpses of a group of bandits and your unmoved self. The driver was trembling and you got closer to him. 
“ I was not going to let him kill you, it was just a bluff. “ You offered your hand but he didn’t take it. “ Sorry. “ You turned on your heels just to see Jinyoung looking around. He was not scared but he seemed amazed with your skills. You were unhurt and all those people were dead. All the other knights that accompanied you barely did anything and Jinyoung could tell they were as amazed by you as he was. “ What are you doing here? Get in. “
“ Ah, sure ma’am.  “ 
“ Can somebody help this poor man? “ A knight quickly moved to help the driver and you got in the carriage once again. “ I told you to wait. Why didn’t you listen?” “ Last time I checked I was the boss, did it change, Lim Y/N? “ “ Well, in a situation like this it changes, Park Jinyoung. “ 
“ Are you worried I might die? “ You frowned. “ Of course you are, what a question. I’ve gone through this more times than I can count, don’t worry. “ 
“ You may have gone through it but it doesn't have to end with the same result every single time. “ 
Just as you were scolding him the carriage started to move again.
“ I wasn’t planning on going out either but I thought of Jaebeom hyung. “ 
“ What does he have to do with any of this? “ “ He is your big brother and I went against his wishes making you my knight. “ You looked surprised. “ But it was that or marriage. “  
“ What? He didn’t want me to be your knight? “
“ He doesn’t want you to be a knight, he has never, “ He answered. “ He is afraid you’ll get hurt. But he didn’t want you to marry the Duke either. When I broke the engagement he kind of… “ “ He got mad, I know. He also scolded me. “ You sitted and sighed. “ And I know he is afraid of me getting hurt but I just want him to trust me. So please, do as I tell you. “ “ I didn’t know you were so sensitive. “ 
“ Oh, come on now. “ 
“ Anyways, they were asking for me, “ He said. “ therefore they were paid. “
“ I thought so too. Someone must have leaked our route and not only that but if they were just normal bandits they would not have looked for you. “ 
He watched you with fascination. You were deep in thought and he couldn't help but think how calm you seemed. It was out of character for you. You were either quiet because you didn’t want to bother him or either you were cheerful and made his day seem easier than it was. This was a completely new side of you for him and it didn’t help him. He was fond of you and once again he was remembered of it. 
The kingdom you were sent to was a little one which didn’t hold much power so it was not a surprise for Jinyoung you insisted on being by his side the whole time. He wanted you to rest but the first day he saw how you were still doing your routine if not sleeping even less. 
“ You are useless. “ He said and you could not help but look at him in disbelief. “ Before you get mad let me elaborate. “ 
“ Well, you really need to elaborate for me to be okay with this. “ 
He placed his book on the nightstand and looked at you, smirking. 
“ Right now you are useless. You are so tired you can barely keep your eyes open. “  
“ I’m alright. No rest needed. “ You plopped on his bed without asking him and he gave you a judging look.” Aren’t you the one telling me to rest? “
“ Yes but ask if you can lay down in my bed, Miss Lim. “ You laughed at his face. “ Anyway, you were denying needing a rest so get up. “ 
You pouted. Just laying on the bed felt much better, you didn’t need to close your eyes, it was enough laying on the bed. You kept on telling yourself that but the sleep was too close. 
“ Okay. “ He saw you and sighed, stopping you as you were about to do as he told you. “ You just told me to get up. “
“ Don’t, you are so tired that I can’t even tease you without feeling bad. “You were by his side, looking at him and wondering if it was okay for you to sleep. “ I’ll stay here by your side so you know I won’t move. “
“ I’m not sure, your highness. “ 
“ Do you snore or drool while sleeping, is that why you are so hesitating? “ 
“ I do not. None of those, I do not. “ 
“ Then perhaps you are like hyung and fart while you sleep…” He mumbled. “ Ah, forget that.” “ Hyung? Which hyung? Now I am curious. “ You said. “ Please tell me it is Jaebeom so I can tease him. “ 
“ Go to sleep Lim Y/N, tomorrow is going to be hectic. “ You didn't even put yourself in a comfortable position and closed your eyes. “ Could you at least try to rest for real? “ “ It feels like I am not doing my job well if I sleep. “ “ You are always the one telling me to rest so don’t get on my nerves. “ You knew better than to go against the prince’s orders so you did as he told you and looked at him for a while. “ I know I am handsome, Y/N,  but please. “ 
You knew he was getting annoyed and that made you laugh. 
“ It’s late, your highness. “ 
“ Don’t you dare. “ You smiled knowingly. “ Fine, if you want me to sleep with you that bad I’ll do it. “ “ That is not what I…” “ I know what you meant. “ 
He won and there was no choice but to sleep by his side, having the most sleep you had in a while. 
When the next day arrived you opened your eyes to see him sleeping peacefully. You always saw him prepared to sleep but not once had you seen him wake up and you wondered if he was as bad as you. You knew you were a mess but it did not worry you yet seeing him wake up seemed interesting. You wanted to see if he stopped having that handsome face for a minute. You were wrong. 
“ Stop staring, it’s creepy. “ He was just as handsome as ever. “ You wake up looking like that? You must take your time to get ready. “ 
“ This is the best sleep I had in a while, thank you, your highness. “ You rubbed your. “ I should change. “ “ It’s okay, you are looking like a mess but it’s cute. “
“ Jinyoung, “ you looked at him sternly. “ don’t flirt with me. “ “ You think I want to flirt with you? “ He laughed . “ You have some confidence, you are great and all but if I wanted to flirt with you you would not have let me break the engagement. “ 
He had his way of making you frustrated but at the same time it was amusing. 
“ I don’t think you are that great of a flirt. You know who is? Yugyeom, he flirts without wanting to, and Bam is just unbelievable. “ 
“ Yugyeom? Come on, you could have told me someone else, I don’t know, Mark hyung, but Yugyeom can’t even speak to a girl without blushing. “ “ He is a dance instructor, your highness, and someone who can’t have your head off your shoulders. He is attractive so he doesn't need much flirting. “
“ Anyways, I’m much better at it than him. Have you seen me flirting or what? “ “ Well I do remember the gifts. “ It was his duty making presents to you and your family because of your old status as his future queen. It was seen as his way of flirting and not once did he get to your heart. “ Your ways are just old fashioned. A carriage of flowers, really? “ “ I didn’t send that, I assure you. “ He looked embarrassed, making you enjoy yourself. “ It was my father, something about making you feel like spring. “ 
“ Woah, the king sure is romantic. “ 
“ Don’t tell him, he would kill me. “ He finally got up. You could not help but keep your gaze on his back. He smiled once he noticed. “ What? Are you going to stare at my butt all day or what? “ “ I was not looking, your highness. You’ve got a nice butt tho. “ “ I know but stop staring.”
After what seemed like a long week of spending time with the prince you finally returned to your own kingdom without setbacks. You felt the most rested since you were his knight and now you saw how long it had been. It seemed short the time it had passed but five month already went by. You were closer to the prince even though there was a small wall between the both of you, the wall you had built in the past. 
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waywardnerd67 · 4 years ago
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Starving Affection
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Summary: It had been five years since (Y/N) had any physical contact with another person. When she starts talking with a man online who reads her fanfics, a battle of her  mind and body begins. When the time comes to meet him, she finds that there are still decent human beings in the world.  Characters: Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Sami (OFC), Plus Size!Reader Pairing: Jensen x Plus Size!Reader Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Smut/Body Image Distortion Word Count: 9256 A/N: Again, me working through my feels. Thank you for allowing me to do so.
My chest tightened. Jaw clenched until my teeth hurt. My body rigid and frozen as panic flowed through my veins. The overly friendly, new teacher had her arms outstretched towards me. If I had been a normal person, I would gladly hold my arms out as well embracing her kindness and affection.
I was not normal.
“Hey Katy!” My partner teacher and best friend, Sami, headed her off by stepping in front of me and taking the hit of affection.
There was a special place in Heaven for Sami and if not, I would fight God themselves to make it so. I could see Sami whispering to Katy and a nod of acknowledgement told me I would not have to worry about her advancements again.
“Sorry (Y/N), I didn’t know you weren’t a hugger. How about a high five?” Her sweet gesture had my trembling hand stretching out to her as she quickly slapped it with her own.
Only Sami could see my flinch from the physical touch of someone. Everyone else summed it up to my quirky personality and weird aversion to being touched. Thankfully our English department meeting was over and I could escape to the safe haven of my car. Sami was close behind me waving goodbye to everyone.
I bumped my shoulder to hers as she was the only one I had no problem with minor touching, “Thank you for taking that hug for me.”
She laughed, “You’re lucky I’m a friendly and huggy person. Hey, I meant to ask you before school today, but how is counseling going?”
I cringed, averting my gaze from her, “It’s… going fine.”
She stopped me with a tap on my shoulder, “The truth, please.”
I sighed as my shoulders slumped in defeat, “I stopped going,” I saw the incoming assault in her narrowing sky colored eyes.
“(Y/N)! You were making such good progress with this counselor. I was even able to give you a one arm hug.” The disappointment in her voice weighed my shoulders down even more.
I leaned against my car pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, “I know, I know. She had me go to one of her support groups and everyone had to hug someone. I… I just couldn’t. I tried three or four times going to the group and I failed every time.”
My eyes fell to the ground, disgust filling my mind, “Yes, you really are as pathetic as you’re sounding.” My inner voice snarked.
I heard Sami sigh, “It’s okay. We can work through it together. We can keep doing everything you liked from her and work at your pace.”
Looking up, I forced my lips into a small smile to appease my only real life friend, “That sounds good. Thanks Sami for putting up with me.”
I made my way home to a small ranch style home that was off the beaten path. My grandparents had left it to me knowing I would love the seclusion of it. It was my Fortress of Solitude. The only living thing, other than Sami, to be able to snuggle with me was Charlie the cat. The copper Main Coon was sitting by the door awaiting my arrival.
My evenings were always the same. Check in with my mom for an hour on the phone. Make or order dinner, which tonight was ordering pizza for the leftovers tomorrow. Turning on my favorite TV show, Supernatural, on Netflix and working on one of my millions of fanfics.
“Yes, stay in complete denial by hiding in your fantasy worlds and falling in love with fictional characters. Loser.”
I pushed my inner thoughts to the very back of my mind and focused on my current series I was writing. Pulling up Tumblr, I looked in my notifications seeing someone binge reading my masterlist. My heart always swelled with joy whenever someone took the time to read my writings. This person was also leaving feedback as well.
“ChevyMan67: I love this version of Dean! You truly have captured his personality and sarcasm.”
“ChevyMan67: I can’t get enough of this series! Please tell me there is more to come. I need to know if Dean finally falls in love and gets his apple pie life.”
I read through every comment and looked at every GIF the reader posted. I hit follow on his blog then took a few screenshots from my activity page, pulling up a blank post adding the pictures.
“Thank you to @ChevyMan67 for binging my stories! Your feedback means everything to me!”
As soon as I posted it there was a notification of a reblog from him. He posted a GIF of Dean screaming with #Fangirling flashing underneath. My cheeks ached from the unusual tension of a genuine smile spreading across my face.
Online I could be anyone I wanted. I would virtual hug and blow kisses at my friends. I was able to be more like the woman I was. Social, happy, carefree, open to others. I could be the woman I desperately wanted to be but my mind would not allow.
“Stay guarded. Remember what happened when you trusted him? Trusted his family? Never again. You promised never again.”
My indeed guard held the line at the gate of my mind. She stood in full armor and shield ready to throw off anyone that even attempted to break through to the part of me that desired to be a whole person again. I shook my head with a firm nod and reaffirmed my promise to myself to never let anyone that close to me again.
As I was closing down her computer for the evening, a ding caught my attention as a message came from Tumblr. Opening the window, I saw a DM from my newest follower.
“Hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for following me. Apparently I’m a rarity on here for being male and a fan of Supernatural. I truly love all your writings and can’t wait to read more. Hopefully, we can get to know each other better and become friends. Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. Message me any time. Goodnight.”
I re-read the message several times before closing my computer. Sure I had people message me for small talk and a few close friends I had on there. This felt different. Something deep within me sparked and I did not know how to react. There was only one person I knew I could go to and her reaction was more frightening than the thought of responding to ChevyMan67. That night was the first of many restless nights for me.
A week later, I finally sat down and responded to him.
“Hey, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I’m… well, I’m not used to talking to guys here. I think it’s great that you’re on here and reading, BTW. I’m working on a few pieces right now, maybe you could beta for me if you have time. I hope we can be friends as well. Have a good weekend!”
I was nearly hyperventilating when I hit enter sending the message. I tried to work on my newest one shot story and ignore my anxious heart awaiting for the ding. It was not until I was in bed watching my favorite episode of Supernatural that my phone chimed.
“Tumblr: Message from ChevyMan67”
My finger hovered for a moment before opening the app. The message opened and I let out a air I had been holding in my chest.
“No worries. Everyone is busy and has their “real life” to attend too. I work odd hours and days all the time so I get it. I would LOVE to beta for you!!!! Reading your work before it’s posted online? HELL YEAH! I feel honored you asked and I’m fanboying hard right now. Crap… that sounded… I mean. Sorry lol. You can send your fics to [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you again.”
Over the next six months, Ross and I talked throughout our days getting to know one another. Three month into Tumblr messenger and dumb updates, he gave me his cell number to text one another. At times, I would have to catch myself from laughing while my students took a test. Everyone around me started to notice the small changes in me. Smiling more, talking more and one student commented on me wearing bright colors.
“You look good in yellow Miss (Y/L/N).”
However it was Sami who demanded to know all about the changes going on with me. We sat at our favorite restaurant, the first round of drinks being set in front of us. After the waiter took our order, Sami began her interrogation.
“Tell. Me. Everything. You’ve been keeping me at bay and I’ve respected your space, but you have seemingly blossomed in the last few months. Spill.”
I bit my lower lip as my phone sounded with an all to familiar chime. I went to grab my phone when Sami placed her hand over it, “Me first. Tumblr second.”
“It’s not Tumblr. Let me reply to him and then I will tell you everything.” I dared to look up to see my best friend’s face frozen in shock.
Her eyes wide and mouth gaping, “Him?!”
I nodded reading Ross’s message, “Hey I know you’re out with Sami and going to tell her about little ole me. I just wanted to make sure you were still thinking about what I asked last night. Can’t wait to hear from you soon. Not now though, have fun with Sami.”
I smiled, locking my phone and putting it in my purse looking back to my ridiculously happy friend, “His name is Ross.”
There was a loud, attention grabbing squeal from her as I shushed her, “Leave out no details…” she rested her perfect chin on her folded hands.
I told her all about Ross and how we began talking. I told her everything I knew about him and what he knew about me. Finally, as our food came out and drinks were refilled, I told her about what he had dropped on me the previous night.
“He asked me to meet him at the Supernatural Convention in Dallas next month. He already has the passes paid for and a few photo ops that we could share.” My heart raced at the thought of meeting Ross and meeting my favorite celebrities all at the same time.
Sami’s smile faded slightly, “Does he know about your struggles with being touched?”
I nodded, “It was one of the first personal things I told him. He’s still talking to me so I took that as a frightening good sign.”
“What are you feeling?” her point blank question shook me for a moment.
My fingers drummed against the table, “I’m nervous, scared, anxious…” I paused for a moment before looking up at her with a smile.
“I’m also excited, hopeful and curious.”
Sami held out her hands to me, palms up and I hesitantly placed my hands in hers. It was something we had been working on for the last couple of months. This was the first time I allowed her to squeeze my hands.
“You really like him.” She whispered smiling like a fool.
I felt my own smile mirroring hers, “Yes I do and that scares me shitless.”
The rest of the evening felt like the old days before my life fell apart. When I got home, I decided to test my luck. Pulling up Ross’s number, my thumb hovered over it until I smashed it hearing it ringing.
“Well hello, this is a surprise.” His velvety smooth voice sent shivers down my body, “Take a deep breath and know it’s okay if you hang up to just text me.”
“N-No, I’ll be okay.” I stammered as he let out a low chuckle.
I could hear him moving away from other voices around him, “I interrupted something…” Guilt and shame weighing my shoulders down.
“Not at all. They can wait, you calling me is an important moment. Not everyday, I get to speak to my favorite writer on the phone.” His compliments calmed my queasy stomach, “Could I be so hopeful that this phone call is working up to a good answer?”
I took a deep breath in and let out slowly, “Yes.” The word seems foregin to her as it left my lips.
“Yes I can be hopeful or yes to my question?” His jovial banter eased the tension in my shoulders.
“Yes.” I tried to sound a little more confident, my heart beating against my chest.
There was a moment of silence before loud cheering and yelling came through her speaker. His excitement was silenced by my own unfamiliar laughter. Suddenly I was hyper aware that he was no longer making any noises. Panic and fear swelling inside me.
A soft sigh came from him, “You have a beautiful laugh. I can’t wait to hear it again.”
My cheeks burned, “Thank you.”
Ross told me he would send all the details for our trip and that I was not to worry about money of any kind. Mentally, I began planning out how to save as much money as I could in the next four weeks. Thankfully, my savings was built up enough to take a small hit and not dip into her emergency fund. Over the next several weeks, I began to prepare for my first convention, first time meeting an online friend, first time traveling by myself, first time facing the unknown in five years.
The morning of my travel day, I went over to Sami’s house with Charlie. I was surprised to see her sister sitting there. She waved to me before taking Charlie’s crate.
“What’s going on?” I looked around seeing Sami’s suitcase packed by the door.
She smiled, “Your friend Ross, reached out to me.”
The color from my face drained for a moment, “H-He did… How?”
“He found me on your Instagram page. DM me asking me to join you on your trip. Stating and I quote, ‘I know you being there with (Y/N) will make her more comfortable. I want this weekend to go as comfortably as possible for her. I know it’s a big step and I want her to be taken care of.’”
She smiled softly as my vision blurred from tears slipping down my face, “Oh… wow.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing (Y/N/N). If you were ever going to work on overcoming your touch aversion this would be the man to do it for.” Sami turned around to help her sister, leaving me to my own thoughts.
“Absolutely not! There is no way he is getting through my defenses. I have held strong for five years. Your heart and mind are safe within my holds.”
“Do you really think he’s going to want to touch you? Look at yourself. Lumpy. Chunky. Squishy. Dull (Y/C/H) hair. Boring (Y/C/E) eyes. Not even a decent pair of boobs or ass. You’re nothing special. Always remember that you’re nothing special.”
“(Y/N)? (Y/N) stop it.” Sami’s voice rang clear bringing me back to the present.
I nodded slowly, “Sorry. I zoned out.”
“Freaked out. We will work through it. Sara is gonna drive us to the airport and we have an hour to chat. Okay?”
It was in the moment that I noticed my best friend had absentmindedly placed her hand on my shoulder and I did not flinch. My eyes looked to her hand and back to her, “You’re touching my shoulder.”
“Crap, I’m so sor…” she started to say but my bright smile stopped her, “What?”
I placed my hand on top of hers, “I didn’t flinch or move or even notice you did it.”
Now her smile was matching mine and we had a moment of pure excitement jumping around each other. True to her word, we spent the hour on the plane doing some meditative exercises. I thanked every high power who would listen for my best friend getting her psychology degree.
There was a man waiting with our names on a piece of paper. He took our bags and drove us to a  hotel near where the convention was being held. Sami checked us in since there were so many people inside and my anxiety started to flare up.
Breathe in counting to six. Breathe out counting to six.
I repeated my breathing exercise until Sami returned her brow furrowed, “What is it?”
“I don’t know who Ross knows, but he must be connected in some way. We have a suite on the fourteenth floor.”
My jaw dropped slightly before I stood up bracing myself for the next hurdle of getting through the elevator ride. Luckily, there were only two other girls in the car and I could safely keep my distance from them.
“I heard that Jensen is staying at this hotel.” One mentioned as the other rolled her eyes.
“Yeah right. This is Dallas, I’m sure he’s probably staying with his family or something.”
The girls exit on the eighth floor and before the doors could close Sami and I were chuckling to ourselves. The chances of Jensen Ackles staying at this hotel would be astronomical. The car dinged for the top floor and opened to a small hallway. When we opened the door to our suite neither of us spoke.
Sami walked throughout the entire room before I could even move from the entryway, “This room is amazing! Check out the view we have (Y/N).”
“Hold on. Having a moment.” I breathed as Sami came to my side and I held my hand out, “I’m fine. Just need a moment to make sure this is real and not a dream.”
I watched as she walked over to the coffee table where there was a gift basket and she held up a small notecard, “Oh it’s real.”
“(Y/N) and Sami, I hope you love your room. Enjoy your night and order anything you want. The front desk knows it’s all on my tab. I’m hoping you both will join me for dinner tomorrow night after registration. Sadly, my job won’t let me leave before then. I look forward to meeting you both. -R PS: I highly recommend the spa and they have a large private jacuzzi just for you, (Y/N).”
Sami sighed, “I really hope he has a single brother, cousin, friend that is like him for me.”
I rolled my eyes walking over to the large windows looking out. Flashes of the last time I was in Dallas popping into my mind. I shivered as the one voice I hated yelled loudly in my ears. My hands covered them and I felt Sami tap my shoulder twice. For the first time, in several years, I reached out to her and gripped her arms.
“(Y/N) remember why we’re here. Remember talking with Ross on the phone. The tone of Ross’s voice. His laughter.” Her calm tone eased me out of the wretched memory.
She guided me over to the couch and went to get me a glass of water. I sipped it slowly before squeezing her hand, “Thank you.”
“You know, I can get used to you reaching out to me. Feels like the (Y/N) I knew coming back.” Sami squeezed my hand back before I let slip from her grasp.
She was right, the woman I once was before my ex was fighting her way to get out again. Still, my guard was up standing fortified at the gate.
That evening was a girls’ night of epic proportions. They went to the spa where (Y/N) sat in her private jacuzzi while Sami received the best massage of her life. Afterwards, we ordered our dinner from room service making moderate choices since neither of us were paying. When our food came there was a special dessert also with another note.
“A little birdy told me that your favorite dessert was French Silk pie. I wanted you to have a slice and some New York Style cheesecake for Sami. Have a wonderful night.”
Sami whistled, “Man, he has it bad for you.”
“Shut up.” I muttered lifting the dome to see a delicious slice of pie.
As they ate and talked, Sami took my phone taking pictures of them enjoying a very Sam and Dean style dinner. Sami having a Chef’s salad with honey mustard dressing. I took a picture of my dinner sending it to Ross with a text saying thank you.
“Dean would be proud! That bacon cheeseburger looks good. Enjoy!”
I smiled the entire time I ate my burger. Finishing out meals, Sami hooked up her laptop putting on Supernatural. I decided to try and work on some stories when a terrifying thought crossed my mind. I looked up to the screen as Dean began to talk. I closed my eyes listening carefully to his voice. The low tone and smoothness of it. It was the way he said the word writer that had my eyes snapping open and a gasp escaping my lips.
“What? What is it?” Sami sat up concerning filling her eyes.
Like pieces to a puzzle everything snapped into place. All the small details that would go unnoticed by someone who would never expect it. Sami tapped my shoulder and I turned to her with wide eyes.
“Ross… that’s Jensen’s middle name.” I mumbled reaching for my phone.
Sami stood up pausing the episode, “Okay… what are you getting at.”
“Listen.” I played for her the voicemail he had left a few days earlier, “Now play the episode.”
Sami’s eyes connected to her, “No way.”
“Ross is Jensen Ackles.”
That night my dreams were filled with my ex yelling at me. Fat shaming me. Calling me a loser. Calling me useless for not being able to bear children. His looming form made me coward into a ball on the floor. I woke up several times during the night, the final time close to six in the morning. Sami was peacefully sleeping on her side of the bed.
I picked up my phone going into the living area and dialing the all too familiar number. On the third ring she was going to hang up, but then his groggy voice pierced my ears.
“(Y/N), is everything alright?” All I could hear was Dean, which meant that it was truly Jensen on the other side.
“You tell me, Jensen.” I heard him sit up as I began to pace near the window.
A long sigh came from him, “I knew you would figure it out before meeting me.”
I scoffed, “Is this some kind of celebrity joke or prank? Pretend to be someone’s friend and embarrass them when they meet you.”
My guard was shaking her head muttering, “Told you so…”
“No, (Y/N) it’s nothing like that. Misha had read some of your stories and suggested I should read them. At first, I thought it would be weird because I’ve never read fanfiction before, but your writing… it drew me in.” His words came out all in one breath.
I froze, “M-Misha read my stories? Oh god…” My body burned from embarrassment.
“Honestly, there’s not a person on our crew that hasn’t read at least one of your stories. You’re talented and the way you write for the boys is amazing. Our own writer’s are impressed with your talent.”
I groaned slumping down to the floor, “This was all a mistake.” The last thing I heard before ending the call was rustling around as if Jensen was moving from his bed.
My phone slipped from my hand as tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes allowing my inner voices to consume me. Dragging me down into the darkness.
“You fool! Here I stood guarding you from this and still you allowed someone in. You deserve what is coming to you!”
“You useless piece of nothing! You’re the biggest joke this world ever created. Fat, ugly, even your body can’t do the one basic thing god made it to do. You’re worthless. Sucking up air that could be used on someone contributing to the world. No matter what anyone says you will always be the biggest failure in this world. You. Are. Nothing.”
I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and I tightened myself into a ball, “Go away Sami.”
The tapping continued and I reached out grasping an unfamiliar hand. My eyes snapped open and were met with concerning, piercing olive eyes. The eyes I stared at for hours on my TV. The eyes I wrote about in hundreds of thousands of words online.
As soon as my eyes opened he withdrew his hand and my heart sank further into darkness, “I told you. He will never want to touch your disgusting body.” The snide voice of my inner self whispered.
“(Y/N), please hear me out. Please for five minutes just listen to my side.” He sat across from me leaving a foot of distance between us.
I nodded looking up as Sami gently touched his shoulder, “I will be just outside if you need me.”
He waited for the door to close to start talking. His large hands rubbing against his cotton covered thighs.
“I started reading your masterlist on Tumblr and couldn’t get enough of your stories. I didn’t know exactly how to work Tumblr so Misha showed me how. I noticed you don’t get a lot of notes and I wanted everyone to notice you. I started sharing your work with everyone after sending you that message.”
He paused for a moment as I fidget with the hem of my shirt, “Why did you message me?”
His smile was more radiant in person, “It’s just as I said. I loved your work and I wanted to be friends. However, the more I got to know you… the more I wanted to meet you in person. I knew that would be problematic.”
“Yeah, you could say that.” I scoffed looking down to my hands.
He inhaled a deep breath, “You connect with Dean Winchester the same way I do. To find someone like that is a once in a lifetime chance. I want someone who I can gush over Dean with because soon I won’t be hanging out with him as much and he’s the best imaginary friend I’ve ever had.”
Seeing Jensen open himself up to me was creating a battle of mind and body within me. He was just as nervous as I was to open up to someone else. Suddenly, I did not feel so alone in my isolation. My hand trembled as I reached over placing it atop of his.
“Dean Winchester saved my life and I don’t mean that figuratively. I was on the verge of leaping into darkness when I found him getting Sammy to find their dad. I found the strength to carry on because I knew that was what Dean would do. I found that being broken wasn’t a bad thing but something that could drive you to keep working. Dean helped me to feel again when I had become numb to the world around me.”
His eyes shined as I spoke trying to hold back his own tears, “I’m glad he could be there for you when you needed him the most.”
“Then you came into my life when I least expected it.” I whispered as I squeezed his hand.
My mind was screaming at me to get as far away from him as I possibly could. To call out to Sami to make him leave and move out of the state disappearing from the world. However, my body was urging me to jump into his arms. To open myself up to him as he had done with me. I felt like a spring coil ready to snap. My mind was holding my body back waiting for my consciousness to make a decision.
And she did.
I launched myself into his arms startling him as we crashed to the floor. His arms instinctively wrapped around me as mine encircled his neck. The door flew open as Sami came rushing in as Jensen’s laughter filled the room. I hugged him tighter to me as he tightened his grip around me.
“Oh my god… (Y/N), you’re hugging him.”
I did not need to open my eyes to know tears were slipping down my best friend’s cheeks. Her voice was thick with utter joy and amazement.
“Does this hug mean that you don’t hate me?” His question caught me off guard.
Jensen’s hands kept me in place as he sat up swinging my legs across his. My arms are still around his neck not wanting to lose the connection. Now that my body was against his, it flooded with the strange feeling of desire. Sami joined them on the floor sitting cross legged in front of them.
“I don’t think I could ever hate you. Though I’m still upset you lied to me.” I rested my head on my arm and against the side of his neck.
Feeling him sigh and seeing Sami grinning, I knew this was a big moment for all of us. We sat on the floor for another hour talking before Jensen had to go back to his room to get ready for the day. Neither of us wanted to let go of the other. He hugged me one last time before walking out of the suite. When I turned around I was immediately engulfed into another hug.
“I’m so proud of you!” Sami squealed.
“Thanks, I think…” My sentence drifted and she pulled away from me.
I walked back toward the bed and flopped face first onto it. I felt her crawl up on the bed beside me knowing me well enough to give me space.
“Talk it out, (Y/N). What are you feeling?”
My cheeks burned from the first feeling to pop into my head, “I feel warm, anxious, happy...” I paused gathering the courage to say the last word, “desire.”
“I’m sorry, what was that last one?” Sami eagerly asked.
I sat up, “Desire.” Saying the very word felt weird.
She began to clap and raised her hands in the air, “Praise the lord!”
“Don’t get all weird about it. I don’t know what any of this means. My body is tingling…”
Sami interrupted, “I bet it does…”
“Shut up, mostly not in that way. I don’t know how to act around other people anymore. What is too much touching? What is too little? What does a hug mean? I have too many questions and all the answers just walked out the door.”
I looked over as my phone chimed seeing a message from Ross, “I guess I need to change that now.” I murmured as I pulled up his message.
“First, thank you for trusting me with a hug. It means the world to me. I wanted to know if you wanted to have an early lunch with me? We could eat in my room or restaurant or your room with Sami. Whatever you are most comfortable with. Let me know.”
I held my phone up for Sami to read and she jumped off the bed, “You can have our room. I will go entertain myself by the pool.”
I texted him back that he could come to my room as Sami began tossing clothes out on the bed, “What are you doing?”
“Finding you the perfect outfit. Now go shower so I can play dress up with you.” She clapped her hands excitedly as I groaned loudly.
Looking in the mirror again, I pulled at the shirt clingy to every soft, round surface of my waist. I pushed my stomach watching as it bounced back into place like jello. Turning to the side, I sucked as many rolls as I could inward, holding my breath. The air rushed from my lips as a knock came from the door. Making my way towards it, I grabbed my zip-up hoodie slipping my arms in it quickly.
“Hi.” The word came out more breathlessly than I wanted.
My inner voice whispering, “Yeah fatty, let him know that walking across the room makes you lose your breath.”
“Hey there, I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and grabbed lunch for us.” Jensen held up a paper bag from a local sandwich spot.
As he walked in, I took a moment to truly admire him. He looked like a male model in his tight dark jeans, black boots, dark olive Henley and sunglasses resting on top of his unruly, sandy brown hair. His smooth voice caught my attention.
“You could take a picture and it would last longer.” He chuckled sitting down on the couch and laying out their lunch.
I sat on the opposite side of him as far away as I could. Even though my body desperately wanted to be closer to him, I kept my distance not pushing my mental capacity. He glanced over a hint of disappointment in his eyes seeing me so far away.
Jensen slid a sandwich towards me, “I remember you telling me that you love ham and swiss with tomato.”
“Thank you.” I unwrapped the sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips.
We ate in silence as a strange tension built between us. My stomach churning to the point I could no longer eat. I would look over to him out of the corner of my eye to find his eyes drifting over me. I wrapped my hoodie around me instinctively trying to hide the imperfections.
“There’s no hoodie big enough to hide your ugliness.” The familiar voice whispered.
I shook my head when I heard music playing, looking back to Jensen. He smiled sheepishly as he set his phone on the table.
“I thought maybe some background noise would help,” He stood up clearing the food from the table then stood in front of me with his hand out, “Trust me?”
His eyes were shining from the afternoon rays of sun coming from the window and his lips were spread in a gentle smile. I exhaled slowly allowing all the tension to leave my body and placed my hand in his. He pulled me up from the couch taking my hands and placing them behind his neck. His large hands slid down my sides to my hips and I flinched.
“You do know that you’re beautiful, right?” He whispered swaying my body with the music.
I shook my head, “I’m really not. Ordinary at best.”
Jensen lifted my chin, piercing (Y/C/E) meeting , “You are far from ordinary, (Y/N).”
“You’re just being kind.” I looked away as he slowly turned us in a circle.
The music continued but Jensen stopped moving, “I have so many questions but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or have you running to the hills.”
“Questions for me? Surely, you have better things to do with your time other than sitting inside with me. Don’t you have fans to entertain?” I smirked.
He chuckled, “Lucky for you, I happen to have the day off. I normally spend the day with my family. However this year they all ditched me.”
I mockingly acted shocked, “Oh no! You poor thing.”
His eyes narrowed in on me before laughing, “My mom and dad are somewhere in Spain enjoying their anniversary gift. My sister decided a girls trip with her best friends was better than hanging with me for the day. My brother is always busy with his family. You’re stuck with me.”
“I guess there’s worse ways to spend my day. Okay, ask away but I’m not promising I’ll answer them all.”
Jensen led me back to the couch, but kept ahold of my hand as we sat back down. He laced his long fingers with mine. His thumb brushing over my knuckle. I settled back against the couch once again wrapping my hoodie around me.
“What were you thinking when I put my hands on your hips earlier?”
I bit my lower lip, “I was mortified that you were touching my squish rolls of skin. I was thinking you must be disgusted by it.”
“Wow…” He squeezed my hand, “Whoever he was he really did a number on you. If I ask his name and address would you be against me and Jared beating the crap out of him?”
A genuine burst of laughter echoed in the room, “He’s really not worth it. Plus, he is much happier with his life now and that’s all that matters. He deserves to be happy.”
I was surprised to see Jensen face scrunched up in anger, “But you don’t?” He leaned in slightly, his features softening.
“No, I don’t.” The words came out without even a second thought and seeing Jensen recoil from them as if they had slapped him in the face twisted my heart.
His tongue darted out over his lips and the electrical energy between us sparked wildly, “You’re wrong. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Any man who told you otherwise is no man at all.”
He was leaning in closer, his eyes never leaving mine. My heart pounding in my ears and my body urging me to meet him in the middle. His forehead pressed against mine and his nose caressed mine.
“I’m going to kiss you.” he whispered.
“I don’t think I remember how to kiss back.” The pathetic confession was followed by a wayward tear slipping down my cheek.
His soft, full lips pressed gently against mine. My mind searched for the file within the long abandoned cabinets for how to kiss someone. He pulled away for a split second only to return his lips to mine. I found my lips pushing against his out of basic instinct. Our lips melded together for a moment before I felt him smile against mine.
His hands cupping my face, “I think it will all come back to you easier than you may think.”
I took in a deep breath letting it out in a short burst, “I think you believe in me too much for only meeting me a few hours ago.”
Jensen was still holding my face as he leaned back, “Other than Jared and Mish, I have never felt closer to anyone, but you.”
“You have your work cut out for you then,” I pointed to my head, “because it’s a nightmarish mess up in here.”
He leaned in kissing me once again, “You are worth every second of being with you because you’re stunning, smart, talented, caring and most of all you’re beautiful inside and out.”
I stared up at him speechless as my inner guard laid down her shield, “I like this one.”
“No… no one has ever said that about me. I-I don’t know what to say or how to react.” I stammered, unable to comprehend what he said.
He smiled widely, “Get used to that feeling because I’m preparing for you to feel that way a lot. Now, I don’t want to test your boundaries too much so I think we should hang out here and watch a movie.”
Jensen moved to the end of the couch resting his arm along the back of it and propping his feet on the table. For the first time in forever, there were no inner voices to keep me from doing what I desperately wanted. I moved over next to him resting my back into his side and stretching my legs out to the other end of the couch. His arm draped over the front of my chest and his fingertips brushed against my side.
This time there was no flinching and I smiled at the small victory.
The rest of the weekend was like a dream. Seeing the convention backstage, meeting all the rest of the other actors on the show and most of all Jensen’s constant touch comforted me throughout it all. Sami beaming with pride as I pushed myself to be in the crowd for the concert on Saturday. When Sunday came, I found myself riddled with sadness knowing I would have to leave this magical weekend behind.
Sami had decided to go back to the hotel while I waited for Jensen to finish his autographs. I had noticed Clif, the boys’ friend and bodyguard, staying close by me. When the last fan left the autograph room, he motioned for me to follow him. Entering the room, I found Jensen with his head down on his table while Jared and Misha were fooling around at theirs.
Walking up, I slid my hands over his shoulders and began rubbing the knots out of them. A small groan escaping his lips sent a wave of desire over my body. I moved my hands down his back eagerly wanting to hear him again.
“Hey, if you’re giving free massages away I’ll take one!” Jared called out.
Jensen’s head snapped up, “Don’t even think about it Padalecki. Her hands are too precious for your sweaty self.”
I chuckled as he stood up letting my hands drift down his back. I knew he was fit but his body was firm and lean in all the right spots. As he moved away I found my fingers stretching out to touch him again. All weekend I had found myself craving his touch. My mind was obsessively thinking about his hand in mine or my arms around his waist or his hands gripping my hips. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I heard him chuckle.
“You okay? You kind of spaced out for a moment.”
I nodded smiling, “I’m great. Just thinking was all.”
“Well come on, you and I can grab something to eat then hang out in my room.” His arm slipped around my shoulders and instantly I relaxed into his embrace.
Dinner was unexpectedly crashed by Jared and Misha tagging along. We found a twenty-four hours diner near the hotel that was nearly empty and we all spent a few hours talking, laughing. I could not help the sadness creeping over me as the minutes passed by. Minutes I was losing to have Jensen to myself. As if he read my mind he excused us to head back to the hotel.
We walked in silence, hand in hand. Stepping into the elevator, he pulled me into his side and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His room was on the opposite end of the same hall as mine. Stepping inside, the door clicking shut as we stood across from one another. It was like a shotgun going off as Jensen closed the distance between us. His hands sliding down my body as his mouth crashed to mine.
As suddenly as it happened, it was over.
“I’m sorry… shit. (Y/N) I’m really sorry.” His pleads confused me for a moment.
Breathing heavily as he stepped back further from me I blurted out, “W-Why are you apologizing? D-Did I do something wrong?”
His dark forest eyes snapped up, “You do something… you didn’t do anything but be you, (Y/N). I just couldn’t stop myself. This weekend has been the best one in my life. Being around you, holding your hand, kissing you has rejuvenated me. I just want more of you, all of you. Simple looks you give, the way you hold yourself and the moment you open yourself up to reach out to me. I just found myself unable to hold back anymore. I know…”
This time it was me who closed the distance between us. My lips crashing into his. My hands running up his broad chest and into his soft hair. The soft moan escaping my lips as we parted.
“I want you to have me…” I whispered in between breaths, “I’m nervous with a bunch of what ifs running in my head.”
“Do you trust me?” The corner of his lip curling upward.
“Yes.”
Jensen took my hand leading me into the bedroom of his suite. He gently picked me up and sat me on the bed. He knelt in front of me, slipping my shoes from my feet then pulling my socks off. His thumbs pressing into the bottom of my feet as I began to giggle.
“Oh… now that is an amazing sound. I must hear that again.” He smirked, tickling my feet.
I fell back in a fit of giggles as Jensen’s laughter joined mine. I leaned up on my elbows looking down at Jensen resting his chin on my knee. He lifted his brows asking permission and I nodded. His hands drifted over my calves, up to my knees and over my thighs.
“You have incredible legs. I found myself staring at them as you would walk in front of me with Sami. Wondering how they would feel beneath my hands.” He gently squeezed them near my hips.
His knee pressed into the mattress between my legs as his firm body hovered over mine. My fingers brushed against the hem of his shirt pushing it up and hesitantly touching his stomach. Jensen sucked in a quick breath as his hands paused on his hips. I focused on the feeling of his smooth, warm skin beneath my fingertips. His flat stomach is surprisingly soft.  
I grasped the end of his shirt pulling it towards his head as he pulled back allowing it over his head. Taking it from my hands, he tossed it on the floor. I took in every inch of his skin from his muscles flexing to the freckles decorating it.
“You beautiful, you know that?” I did not think he heard me until I saw the smug smirk on his face.
He leaned down kissing me, “Stealing my lines, sweetheart.”
His hands went back to my hips as his lips left a trail of kisses down my neck, “You think that your softness is revolting, but I find it inviting.”
I froze as his hand pushed up into my shirt touching my stomach. I squirmed as he pushed my shirt up just under my bra. My hands threading through his hair as his lips pressed small kisses against my stomach.
“Jensen…” The tension in my tone caught his attention.
His eyes filled with worry, “Too much?”
I took a few deep breaths and shook my head, “I’m fine, promise.”
“See there you go, being brave and pushing yourself. You have no idea how sexy that is.” He murmured against my skin.
As Jensen’s mouth neared the waistband of my jeans, I tugged his hair motioning for him to come back up to her. He smiled randomly kissing spots along my body. His lips finally met mine as I slid my arms around him. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip as they parted for him. His gentleness and care to make me comfortable broke down the last existing wall of defense.
Their kiss deepened. My body burned with a need to feel Jensen’s skin against mine and to be close to him in every way physically possible. Foreign pressure began to simmer deep within me and I lifted my hips pressing them against his thigh.
He pulled away his eyes blown with passion searching mine for an answer to a silent question.
“Please… take away everything he did. I want to feel whole again.” I pleaded just above a whisper.
His lips were on mine again as he gently lifted me up further onto his bed. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt over my head holding it in front of me for a brief moment. His eyes watching my every move as I tossed it over the side. He reached behind me with one hand unclasping my bra in one swift movement.
I kissed his collarbone as he leaned in to do so, “Show off.”
He chuckled before leaning back and allowing me at my pace to unveiling my bare chest to him. I slid the straps down my arms holding it in place before playfully tossing it at him chuckling. Joking had always been my way of dealing with uncomfortable moments. When I looked up his eyes were drifting down my bare upper body.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He smirked as I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously, (Y/N)... you’re absolutely stunning.”
He ran his hand down my chest, between my breasts and down to my jeans. He undid the button and slowly drew down the zipper. Hooking his fingers with a belt loops dragging my jeans down my legs. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin. Jensen tossed them off to the side then began to place gentle, open mouth kisses up my leg.
My breaths were coming out in small little puffs the further up my leg he got. His mouth hovered over her cotton cover mound inching closer to it. My teeth dug into my lip desperately wanting him to press them against me. Instead he kept his path up my body stopping at my breasts. He cupped the side of one running his thumb over my nipple.
A long sigh escaping my lips from just the slightest touch from him, “O-Oh… Jensen…” His mouth had gently suckled my other nipple, the pressure turning to an ache between my legs.
“You have no idea hearing my name from your lips does to me.” He softly said before circling my nipple with his tongue.
Feeling bold, I slid my hand down between us running it along the hard bulge being restrained by denim. Jensen sucked in a sharp breath dropping his head between my breasts, “Shit…”
“I believe I have some kind of an idea.” I smiled as he grinded himself against my palm.
He stood up at the edge of the bed, his intense stare making me tremble with anticipation. Leaning forward, his fingers hooked the sides of her cotton panties and pulled them down until they were on the floor.
“Exquisite, flawless, perfect.”
“As are you.” I sat up until I was sitting on the edge in front of him.
My hands trembled as I unbuttoned his jeans and carefully unzipped them. Jensen let out a soft hiss as I brushed against his length. His hands cupped my face pulling my lips to his urgently kissing me. I pushed his jeans and boxers down as far as I could before he pushed me back onto the mattress. His hand drifting down my body until his fingers pressed against my folds.
“Jensen, please…” I begged needing to feel any kind of relief from the pressure pulsating from between my legs, “Ohhh… god.”
Jensen began to rub lazy circles against my clit. My hips grinding against his hand as his lips pressed just below my ear, “Are you okay?”
His question sober me from the drunken stupor of desire and I placed my hand over his pushing down further, “More than okay.”
Jensen pushed one long finger deep inside me with a hiss, “Fuck pretty girl, your so tight.” He slowly pushed a second finger inside.
My head pressed against the mattress, my back arching as he pumped his thick fingers in me, “More, oh please Jensen, I need more.”
His pace picked up and I looked up to his face. His eyes wide and dark watching me come undone as his thumb rubbed harshly against my throbbing clit, “Jensen!” I cried out overwhelming pleasure wrecked through my body.
Breathing heavily, my body shaking slightly as he pulled his fingers from me, “Now that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
A slow grin spread across my face as I pulled his mouth to mine. He positioned himself between my legs pulling away slightly, his lips grazing against mine.  
“Are you sure? We can stop if you want.” Jensen’s tone was tense as I felt his length resting against my folds.
I kissed him, “I need you. All of you.”
He braced himself up with one arm as his hand slipped between us. Jensen ran the swollen head along my slickness before nudging it against my entrance. The room filled with groans and heavy breaths as Jensen slowly sheathed himself within me. There was a singe of pain as I stretched taking him his thick length but quickly was replaced with immense pleasure as he thrusted gently into me.
“So. Tight.” He panted against my cheek.
I wrapped my arms and legs around him digging my heels into him. Each stroke pushing me further to the edge. Feeling every muscle straining along his back and arms. His head buried in the crook of my neck grunting almost painfully. I knew then he was holding back.
I pressed my lips to his ear, “Jensen, I won’t break. You’re making me feel incredible, but I want you to let go. Show me how I make you feel.”
A low growl rumbled from his chest as he nipped at my neck and his hips snapped against me. The echoes of our skin meeting, loving praises and the headboard against the wall filled the room. I started to meet each thrust of his, the coil within me ready to snap. His hands were gripping my shoulders holding me against his burning body. I clung to him scraping my nails against his back making him growl again.
“Shit Jensen, I’m so close. Just a little more, oh god please!” I beg as he thrusted into me feverishly small grunts coming from him, “Yes, yes, oh… Jensen!”
My whole body was shaking as an intense wave of euphoria covered me. Pulsating around him, he abandoned all control chasing his own release.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He gritted his teeth as his body went rigid before slamming into me his length twitching deep within me, “Holy shit…”
Jensen rode out his release, his arms shaking to the point he could not hold himself up anymore. I groaned as he pulled out leaving me empty. He rolled onto his back breathing heavily as I curled into his side burying my head into his chest.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His concern only made me cling to him more.
I shook my head, “No, I’m just overwhelmed. Too many feelings at once.”
“Talk it out. Tell me what you’re feeling.” Jensen wrapped his arms around me holding me close.
I took a deep breath, “I’m feeling exhilaration, bliss, pleasure. Right now, I’m feeling empty and it’s almost like I can’t breath. I feel scared by how much I need to feel your touch.”
His fingers were drawing small circles against my bare back, “If that’s your way of asking for round two, you’re going to have to wait for a little bit. I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.”
There was a brief moment of silence before I started to laugh. My body shaking from the laughter pouring from my lips. I kissed his chest, “Thank you.”
“You never need to thank me. It’s my honor to make you laugh. Bring your pleasure. Praise you for your beautifulness. More importantly, always holding you close to me.”
I entwined my legs with his as he pulled the sheet over our naked bodies. Just when I thought he was about to fall asleep, I slipped my hand over his soft member then pressed my lips just under his chin.
“Round two?”
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maxbegone · 4 years ago
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IT’S FINALLY HERE!
In an effort to spread some love to the fanfic authors in the Schitt’s Creek community, this post is a compiling of some of our favorite fics! Thank you to every single person who decided to participate in this dedication of love! And to the fanfic authors out there - thank you for being so wonderful and sharing your stories with us! Here’s to many more countless hours of reading - day or night! 
There are repeats! I understand that may seem a little redundant, but I wanted everyone who participated to share their favorite fics regardless of repetition, author, pairing, AU, size, etcetera. 
A very special thanks to everyone who participated! 
@bestwisheswarmestregards // @brighter-than-sunshine  // @danieljradcliffe @darnitdraco  // @imargaery  // @justwaiting23  // @leopxld-fitz // @lickrustdavid // @loveburnsbrighter // @oceanavinfinity @poorguysheadcanon​ // @ratchet // @roguebabyinyourstore @stuck-on-your-heart // @thisbuildinghasfeelings​ // @vulcantastic​ @wlwbaudelaire​
I’m going to go ahead and put everything under the cut, because this should be quite a long post! 
**If there are authors on tumblr whose handles were not properly added, please send me a message!
@bestwisheswarmestregards​
Fic 1: Ace Of Hearts by loveisallyouneed21
Why I like it: It is just really sweet and made me really happy. Plus I like seeing Patrick as an asexual being one myself. I don’t see a lot of ace characters in the media so seeing someone portray Patrick, a character I love, as one makes me really happy. 
Fic 2: An Unexpected Arrival by @justwaiting23​ 
Why I like it: It was one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I fell in love with it. Plus the Brewers are in it and I love anything with the Brewers. 
Fic 3: Hammock by @maxbegone​ 
Why I like it: This fic makes me so fluffy inside. Early morning and snuggles are one of the best combinations. 
@brighter-than-sunshine​
Fic 1: Your Wings Prepare To Fly by @icmezzo 
Why I like it: I’m not the biggest fans of AUs/ Fantasy takes on fics, but the characterization of David and Patrick is so good here. It’s such a beautifully written fic, and I just couldn’t get enough of it when I first read it! A definite reread.
Fic 2: Today and All the Days that Follow by @unfolded73​
Why I like it: This one is one of my all-time favorites, because it explores so many of the relationships between all the characters… I especially love the bits including Stevie and Alexis. 
Fic 3: Little Reminders of our Love by @justwaiting23​
Why I like it: The whole idea of David and Patrick leaving each other notes was too adorable not to recommend this fic!
@danieljradcliffe​
Fic 1: Watching Through Windows by @helvetica-upstart​
Why I like it: Some fandoms have those fics that just inevitably change the game and define what fanfiction can be and for me, this is that fic for Schitt's Creek. It is a staple that everyone's read and continues to talk about and recommend a year after it was published; I'm sure we will continue to talk about it for years to come and to recommend it as new folks come into the fandom.
Fic 2: Until Now Gives Way to Then by swat117 
Why I like it: I just read this one-shot recently thanks to your (feel free to edit this how you need for your post) recommendation of their other fic, 'Exposed Brick.' This is a fic that (for me) completely captures why David and Patrick fit and work so well together and how their pasts have made it possible for them to be who they are as a couple in SC. I haven't read another fic that resonated with my own interpretation and appreciation of their relationship as much as this one. This author truly and completely sees them for all that they are.
Fic 3:  Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​  
Why I like it: I saw this fic published earlier this year and wanted to read it so badly but figured I should read the source material (Red, White, & Royal Blue) first so I did and absolutely fell in love with that book (who wouldn't?). I attribute this fic for inspiring me to read Casey McQuiston's book and so when I went to finally read it, I had extremely high expectations and even still, this fic exceeded them. The author does an amazing job of incorporating aspects of the original book (RWRB) while keeping the story true to the characters and relationships we know and love in Schitt's Creek. I read the entire fic in one sitting and then instantly, read it again. It is laugh out loud funny while being romantic as hell and keeps David and Patrick incredibly in-character throughout.
@darnitdraco​
Fic 1: Red White And Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​
Why I like it: this fic is the reason I bought Red White and Royal Blue. Going into the fic, I didn’t know what the book was about so it was all new to me but it was great nevertheless. Now that im almost finished with the book, I love this fic even more. I know its an AU but I think the characters are written well and I pretty much love any fic when Rachel isn’t made out to be the bad guy. Its 13 chapters and I will 100% be rereading it after I finish the book. 
Fic 2: Nothing Burns Like The Cold by @wildxwired​
Why I like it: This is a one shot and definitely Patrick Centric. I thrive on Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I personally feel like it is Patrick coming to terms with a things he didn’t have control over and him getting closure on things of the past. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot but please read this guys!! 
Fic 3: sometimes good things fall apart by @blueink3 
Why I like it: I have reread this multiple times and it gets better each time. Its only 4 chapters but it isn’t rushed. As I said above, I THRIVE on angst and hurt/comfort. This has both, AND protective Patrick. It is a spin on what could’ve happened after the barbecue and it has a happy ending so don’t worry.
@imargaery​
Fic 1: Dodgeball is f*cking stupid by alldaydream
Why I like it: This is a one-chapter piece that comes in just under 6k and yet the author manages to build a super rich AU experience and tell a complete story that is at once heart-wrenching, sweet, sexy, and thematic. If you want angst that doesn’t last too long, that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, this is the one-shot for you. I go back to it as much as I go back to some of my favorite D&P scenes from the show.
Fic 2: if not for you by goingmywaydoll
Why I like it: When it comes to fanfiction about our boys, there’s almost nothing I love more than a high school AU. This is that. But it’s also a ROAD TRIP. What better scenario is there for a slow burn, mutual pining, dialogue heavy love story with plenty of bed sharing and nobody bothering them?
Fic 3: Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate
Why I like it: Can you tell I love a good AU? This one’s about the Olympics and it imagines a world in which Patrick and David have already fallen in love, had a relationship, and have broken up. This is a story about them finding their way back to each other--which isn’t hard because they have to be around each other all the time and work through their issues. It’s written with grace and thoughtfulness, and walking with Patrick and David as they learn to communicate with one another and work on healing makes the reunion that much more satisfying.
@justwaiting23​
Fic 1: hit me with your best shot by @ignisgayentia​
Why I like it: This is a bit of a random one but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. It’s a short little AU about David and Patrick meeting at a baseball game where Patrick is one of the players. It’s really sweet and does such a great job of keeping the voices in character, especially with the flirty teasing and awkwardness and is one of those fics I go back to over and over again.
Fic 2: Spills & Thrills by storieswelove
Why I like it: This is one in a series of ‘Meet-Uglies’ that the author has written which I adore but it’s my favourite one out of them. It has the perfect mix of awkward interactions which make you cringe and also really sweet and fond moments between the two of them.
Fic 3: You Can Plan on Me by odofidi
Why I like it: This is a sweet little piece of marital fluff about the first Christmas after the wedding. It fits exactly with my idea about what married life would be like for them and is really sweet, plus I always love it when the Brewers are able to see Patrick so genuinely in love with someone like that so it’s definitely one of my very favourites.
@leopxld-fitz​
Fic 1: best wishes, warmest regards (sent with confetti effect) by reymonova (costiellie)
Why I like it: This fic is just pure fun. The character voices are always perfect, and it’s such a nice addition to the series. This story is full of incredible one-liners and I think about “th*nk y*u” at least once a week. A must-read for anyone who loves a good Stevie-David friendship moment. 
Fic 2: Going Down by @concannonfodder​
Why I like it: This is a perfect AU. Rich David? Check. New York? Check. Patrick’s gay awakening? Check, check, check. This fic feels as real and in-character as any canon events of the show, and the author does an incredible job at lining up a love story for the ages all over again under completely different pretenses. Plus, who doesn’t love a “stuck in an elevator” trope? I would watch 10 movies based off of this.
Fic 3: I’ve Never Liked A Smile As Much As I Like Yours by hagface
Why you like it: I live for college AU’s, and this one doesn’t disappoint. I love how the author repositioned characters and events for a new setting, and David as a picky art major is all I ever could have hoped for. Character interactions are pitch perfect and there’s a true “paint me like one of your french girls” pining moment that was truly glorious. A great read!!
@lickrustdavid​
Fic 1: Tonight I’ll Drift in A Dream With You by torakowalski 
Why I like it: It’s rare to find such a well-written fic with a great family dynamic that makes you feel like you’re almost just reading a script for the actual show instead of an idea. There’s something soft and comforting about reading cohabitation with Alexis and David and Patrick doing there own things on separate sides of the motel room. 
Fic 2: A Week with the Brewers by @justwaiting23​ 
Why I like it: The dynamic with David and the Brewer’s is genuinely authentic and it’s made me flash back to some of my own experiences with partners parents. The fact that Patrick’s totally willing to have sex while his parents are there while David is mortified at the idea is also great and realistic. I feel like this fic also shows how partners grow and learn to communicate with one another and trust them. 
Fic 3: Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay​
Why you like it: The concept of David being more included in the whole Cabaret experience was something I definitely appreciated, since during the show I was kind of bummed with the lack of him. Stevie is wonderfully written in my opinion, and I really liked Patrick going on dates with the choreographer and watching David figure out how to cope. 
@loveburnsbrighter​
Fic 1: Small Projects by GCLane
Why I like it: My ultimate comfort fic.  Soft relationship feels and loving, passionate discussion of fiber arts, plus nuanced discussion of coming out and fitting in and what it means to be queer.  Also David trying new things and doing his best, which is also fun (he learns to knit!)
Fic 2: You and Me and This Temptation by @leupagus​
Why I like it: Another comfort fic!  Musician Patrick/manager David.  It's funny asf and super sweet at the same time.  Plus it does justice by Rachel, and made me totally love her.  Also, I was never sold on AUs of any kind and this is the fic that converted me.  I re-read it when I need cheering up and it never fails.
Fic 3: The Moment I Touched Down by rockinhamburger
Why you like it: Patrick learning about David's past and being the sweetest most sympathetic bean :(. This one is full of tragic backstory and good emotional hurt/comfort.  Super cathartic to read, and it makes me want to wrap David and Patrick both in big hugs and protect them from the world.
@maxbegone​
Fic 1: my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3
Why I like it: This was the first fic I read since coming into the fandom. It’s canon-divergent, which, as it turns out, I kind of love. It’s so beautifully-written; a story about David meeting the Brewers much sooner than he anticipated, under unforeseen circumstances that take Patrick back to his hometown - and David is right along with him. And just like in every universe, Marcy Brewer is an angel.
Fic 2: Cleanser by @cypress-tree​
Why I like it: Hello and welcome to my comfort fic! This is just the most soothing story. It’s my wind-down fic, and every single time I read it, it makes me want to do my own in-depth skincare routine (that I already do morning and night). But it’s not just about that - it’s about Patrick taking a look at his identity as well. It’s all so tender and sweet, and so intimate in its own lovely way. David pampers Patrick a little bit and shows him that “femininity” and “masculinity” do not have rigid divides. And the first time I read this, I was wearing a mask from LUSH.
Fic 3: keep my spirit strong, you do by fishypots
Why you like it: Content warning; eating disorders, food issues. This hit me square in the chest. It resonated with me in a way I knew it would but struck so much more within me. By the end of it, I was smiling because of how represented I felt. I know this is a difficult topic for some, but I needed to share this fic. As someone with dysmorphia and struggles with disordered eating, it was such a comfort to read about David, who is a character so vulnerable and his partner who doesn’t pester him with questions. Instead he listens, he does a little research (it’s Patrick, of course he does), and remains by him. It’s all written so realistically and tenderly, and without any jabs or awkward nods toward body image. This will forever be at the top of my list.
@oceanavinfinity​
Fic 1: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by ladyflowdi, ships_to_sail
Why I like it: It is a work-in-progress au set in Paris during WWII. Patrick is a soldier on leave, and David is a gallerist who sailed to France to help Alexis (as usual). The characters are so, so true to canon, and the world building of Paris in that era will whisk you away from your current place. I love it.
@poorguysheadcanon​
Fic 1: bright lights by falconeggs (series)
Why I like it: my favorite schitts creek fic is definitely the series “bright lights” on ao3!
@ratchet​
Fic 1: In the Temple of Artemis by MoreHuman 
Why I like it: This story has Stevie exploring (with some help) the identifier of Aromantic after navigating what she thought were her romantic feelings for David. Really sensitively written, with a scene that almost perfectly puts into words my feelings about David & Stevie’s soulmate-esque relationship.
Fic 2: David Rose, Your Husband Is At Guest Services by @patricksdavid​ 
Why I like it: Husbands! At Costco! Giant muffins and comically large bags of doritos! 2071 words of pure domestic fluff! What more could you ask for?!
Fic 3: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 
Why I like it: Okay so. This is very new as part of the Reel Fic Fest, but I needed to include it. I love Wild, both the book & movie, and I am very much a “deal with my problems by hiking/biking in the forest” so this spoke to me immediately. Patrick and David meet as strangers hiking 1500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s nature, pining in nature, tent shenanigans, tent emergencies! Stevie being an excellent friend from afar, a cribbage board, journaling, secret trail register entries, David in flannel, and an ever-present toque. It’s just a really satisfying and calming 30k words with literally 2 characters. I read it twice in 12 hours.
@roguebabyinyourstore​
Fic 1: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 
Why I like it:​ I like a good AU as much as the next person, but this one is just STUNNING. The descriptions of the pain and struggle endured by both men, both physical and emotional, was vibrantly visceral. David and Patrick’s relationship bloomed organically and you are hooked on their journey through the wilderness as they grow closer and eventually fall in love. Plus it’s Patrick’s POV. What’s not to love?
Fic 2: Getting Over Getting Older All The Time by Distractivate  
Why I like it:​ You’ve heard of slow burn? Well meet glacial burn. This masterpiece takes us through 10 years of friendship, of missed opportunities, of pining and heartbreak. But most importantly it shows what we all knew - David and Patrick will find their way to each other regardless of time and distance. Also Patrick’s POV, I sort of love Patrick Brewer.
Fic 3: You Could Be The One by bigficenergy 
Why I like it: ​I have a soft spot for early relationship David and Patrick. But almost no fic does it quite like this. This fic highlights points from our boys’ developing relationship scored by the incomparable Carly Rae Jepsen. This fic is so true to the characters, their voices and their story, that it’s all one giant headcanon for me. This fic is part 1 of a larger series and I highly recommend all of them.
@stuck-on-your-heart​
Fic 1: a kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband​ )
Why I like it: This was the first multi-chapter fic I read when I joined the sc fandom, and I hadn’t read fic of any kind in over a year. It’s a brilliant story where Alexis stars in a reality-dating show. All the characters are portrayed so perfectly in this fic, and you can hear their voices in every piece of dialogue. It’s sweet, it’s hot, it’s everything you could want in an AU. This story helped me fall in love with fic again so it has a very special place in my heart. 
Fic 2: Rose’s Eleven by leupagus
Why I love it: This story honestly feels like a movie. I know the concept is based on a film franchise, but the writing in this fic is truly exquisite. It’s so complex and gripping, and there’s a heist which is always a good time. Despite the very different world these characters are in, they are still true to themselves, so it’s very exciting to see how they interact with one another in this universe. This is such a fun read from start to finish and just thinking about it makes me want to go back and read it again.
Fic 3: Simply the Vest by orphan_account
Why I love it: If you couldn’t tell, I’m obsessed with AUs. This fic is such a satisfying AU because it incorporates several tropes that we all know and love. In this story, Patrick is an FBI agent, and he has to go undercover as David’s boyfriend. So right off the bat there’s fake dating! And then it has pining because our boys are dumb! AND THEN it has a little smut if that’s your cup of tea. And while all this is happening, Patrick is being capable and looks very dashing in his FBI vest.
@thisbuildinghasfeelings​
Fic 1: Happy to help by @vivianblakesunrisebay​
Why I like it: This was the first Schitt’s Creek fic I fell in love with when I started exploring what was out there after bingeing the show for the first time. It’s basically a deep dive into Patrick’s POV from Motel Review through Grad Night. It really helped me appreciate Patrick as a character when I was fairly new to the show. I think I formed a lot of head canon regarding Patrick’s life and backstory based on the things I enjoyed in this fic. And it’s just incredibly well written.
Fic 2: turn down the lights, turn down the bed by @hudders-and-hiddles​ ( @wild-aloof-rebel​ )
Why I like it: I love this take on David and Patrick remaining just business partners until Rock On. I can be a bit of a canon purist, so I’m really picky when it comes to AU fic. However, there are actually quite a few I enjoy in this fandom. My favorite thing about this one is that it has the exact right amount of angst, to the point where it’s almost physically painful, but in the best possible way. Especially because you know how it’s going to end. This is angst with a happy ending executed perfectly. And it’s so good that it holds up to multiple rereads.
Fic 3: my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3
Why I like it: Another canon divergent AU that I love. This one diverges from canon after Grad Night, at which point Patrick has to go home for a family emergency and David goes with him. What I really love about it is how it puts Patrick in a position to be truly vulnerable and gives David the opportunity to kind of be the strong one and really take care of Patrick. This is something we don’t get to see to this extent in canon until maybe Meet the Parents, so it’s nice seeing it here so early in their relationship. Also, it’s just so beautifully written.
@vulcantastic​
Fic 1: no other version of me i would rather be tonight by wardo_wedidit
Why I like it: I’ve always enjoyed the concept of love languages, and it was so sweet watching David do so much for Patrick to show he loves him. Of course, it stems from fear and anxiety that David isn’t doing enough for Patrick (especially with Alexis egging him on), which reads very realistically to me. I think we as the audience tend to forget that David  has never had anything like this before, has never experienced the love of someone like Patrick. He’s still learning how to accept that love and return it, in his own unique ways. This fic does a great job of examining that.
Fic 2: Exposed Brick by swat117
Why I like it: To me this is the perfect “Patrick and David visit New York” fic. Patrick is characterized so beautifully here; we not only see how he aims to please throughout his relationship with David but in his interactions with Rachel and his family as well. I imagine there was a lot left unsaid on the show regarding Patrick’s uneasiness about moving to New York and David’s ultimate decision to stay with him in Schitt’s Creek--this is explored wonderfully here. Plus, as a new New Yorker, it was really nice to read about all the iconic places in and around Manhattan.
Fic 3: we’ll take the world together by sonlali
Why I like it: I am a sucker for stories that examine David and Alexis’ relationship before the start of the show. This fic in particular is heart-wrenching, touching on the trauma both siblings likely experienced before we as viewers knew them. I love the idea of David as protector of his younger sister, and to see that sentiment returned by Alexis now that they have grown (physically and emotionally) while living in Schitt’s Creek is beautiful to read.
@wlwbaudelaire​
Fic 1: you’re my peace and my quiet by chocobos
Why I like it: This fic is just so soft and sweet and always puts me in a good mood whenever I reread it. It’s wonderfully written and I can truly see this as an actual scene in the show. 
Fic 2: Terrified But The Truth is This by ryry_peaches ( @loveburnsbrighter​ )
Why I like it: As someone who’s had a headcanon that David is autistic since I started watching the show, this was the first fic I saw pertaining to it. I was happy to see how well it was portrayed, especially giving how poorly I’ve seen fics portray autism in other fandoms, and it even made me see the episode “Girls' Night” in a completely different light. 
Fic 3: Putting Down Roots by @this-is-not-nothing​
Why I like it: Absolute domestic fluff is my jam and this fic delivers it and then some. It gives me everything I could want in a post-canon fic where David and Patrick are happily married and living in their cottage.
Again, thank you to everyone who made this post possible! I am so happy we were able to spread some love and cheer to the fic writers of this community! Sending so much love to each and every one of you, and I’m hoping this provides some new material for the community to discover as well! 
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