#if anyone needs me I’ll be crying in my car to Johnny cash | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celiamae99 · 4 years

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Sparks Fly -- L.G.

Falling in love with my best friend was never the plan. I mean a girl from the South Side who was just trying to get a two year degree and ignoring the fact that her parents were never coming back, falling for the man who was a recovering alcoholic who had an addict and alcoholic father an a bipolar mother who had the potential to get a degree from any college he wanted?

What could possibly go wrong?

“Come on, get in, I’ll drive you the the bar for work.” Lip told me getting up from the couch, as I was getting ready to walk to work.

“You just got back from work,” I reminded him. I knew that after his shift at the garage he would want to sleep, but he ignored my comment and slipped his coat on an a hat over my head.

“It’s negative ten degrees out,” he commented. “The fuck you’re walking to the bar from here.”

“But—“ I tried to protest but it was useless.

“Get your ass in the car, Lily.”

I never thought the passenger seat of lips old car would ever be as inviting as it was, but as we listened to music and he smoked, I realized I was in love with Lip. Fuck.

The worst part was, and I knew it, was that everybody basically knew that I liked Lip, besides Lip. He was the only consistent person in my life besides Fiona and Ian, and the only true person to care about me in a way that was more special than Ian and Fiona did. I loved my Gallagher’s like they were my own, but Lip was different.

He could smile at me and I would forget how to breathe. He could hold me in bed and I would forget all my problems. He punched a kid at a party who tried to roofie me and I swear in that moment I had never felt more loved.

He held me the whole night as I cried for hours because my mom was never coming back home, never once getting upset even though he had brought it up before.

He held me two days after I got raped and I refused to leave Carl’s bed. He slid in behind me as I faced the wall and held me for hours and hours. He didn’t make me talk, he didn’t make me cry, he didn’t have me look at him. He held me until I was able to to turn around and face him and the truth of what had happened.

He was there when my dad had died. He came to the funeral, he held my hand, he made small talk with my grandma and everything. He sat with me while I sat by the grave and cried after everybody had left.

He was there when nobody else was.

“It’s just so hard at night,” he commented as he flicked his smoke. “That’s when it all sets in and I can only thinking about alcohol.”

“How do you not drink?” I asked. “I mean you come to the bar and hangout with me, V, and Kev, and then you go home and everybody but me and Debby drink. I just don’t know how you do it.” I commented, pulling my leg to my chest.

“Honestly? It’s why I sneak into yours and Liam’s room.” I stared at him and waited for him to continue. “Liam’s basically my child. And sometimes just watching you both so peacefully is enough to get me through the night.”

“What about when Liam sleeps with Carl or Debby because I work late?” That was the real question. Lip ended up in my room almost every night, whether Liam was there or not. Most nights, because I worked the bar until closing, Liam slept in Debby’s room or with Carl. That didn’t stop Lip from climbing into bed with me.

He scratched the back of his neck, his nervous tick. “I think you’re my light in a dark place.” He muttered. “You stood by me through it all, ya know? Karen, Fiona, Frank, Marcia, the stuff with school, Ian, Debby having a baby, rehab, twice. You were just always there. The one consistent thing in my life.” He focused solely on the road and I smiled to myself. “And even when you’re sleeping, I know it’s enough to keep me from stopping to drink.”

I grabbed his hand lightly and threaded our fingers together, and kissed his cheek. “Stay at the bar until I close?” I asked quietly. Lip kissed the back of my hand and my cheeks flamed rosy red.

“Don’t I always?” It was true, when I worked at the bar, Lip stayed and had one to many cokes and scared off the spiteful men that tried to get in my pants.

“Sometimes you you go off with a girl,” I muttered bashfully. I did not want Lip to know the sinking feeling I got in my stomach when I knew he was with a girl.

“Haven’t since I got out of rehab.” He breathed lowly. I thought back on it. Had it been that long? Really? “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

I gave an embarrassing smile. “Are you saying I’m only cute when I’m jealous of other girls?”

Lip didn’t miss a beat. “You’re always cute. You’re cute when you cling yourself to me even though half the bed is yours. You’re cute when you try to reason with Carl and you scrunch your nose up. You’re cute when you and Liam dance in the kitchen to Johnny Cash. You’re cute when you get angry at your chemistry homework. Scratch that, you’re hot when you’re angry. You’re cute when you come home from work and just drop into bed after changing into my shirt. You’re cute when you blush. You’re cute when you wake up in the morning. You’re cute when I come downstairs and you’re making breakfast in my shirt and boxers. I think that’s when I find you the cutest.” I stared at Lip as he pulled into the bar. “What?” He asked as he felt my stare on him.

“You -- you,” I stumbled for words. “How the hell am I suppose to go to work for seven hours with all I want to do is kiss you?”

Lip barked out a laugh. “Well, princess, I guess you’ll just have to wait until after the ball for you prince charming to kiss you.”

I scoffed, and swung myself over the console, straight on to Lip’s lap.

“Not even a kiss for the girl who’s sitting on your lap?” I leaned my head to one side and let my hair fall around us like a blanket.

“If I’m going to kiss you,” He breathed into my ear making me shiver, “It’s going to be my moment. This,” He gestured between us. “Is extremely hot, don’t get me wrong, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on, and you better believe we are going to do it in the car, but our first moment will not be here.”

“Okay,” I muttered, trying to ignore the bile in my stomach from rejection and tried to think of the possibilities that would happen when I left work.

“Hey,” He gripped my thighs tightly. “I want this badly, baby. Just not like this. You deserve special. And this isn’t special.” My heart fluttered, he knew I had never been with anyone or done anything, that I was waiting for the right person. I didn’t want what happened with my parents to ever happen with me.

“Okay,” I said more bashfully, now shy at my forwardness, biting my lip.

“Don’t do that,” Lip said, gripping my thighs tighter.

“Don’t do what?” I muttered, confused.

“You bite your lip.” I stared at him, very confused.

“Yeah, so? I do it all the time,” I muttered off handedly, failing to notice the problem.

“It’s hot.” Blushed bright red for what felt like the hundredth time today.

“It’s hot when I do that, but yet you don’t want to kiss me?” I quirked my eye at the 23 year old.

“Come here,” He muttered. He pulled me to his chest and I shifted to get comfortable. That’s when I felt it. He was hard. “Yeah, that,” He muttered softly. “Is from you. And it’s probably going to stay that way until we get back to the house.”

“I should get to work,” I muttered, my hot breath making goosebumps arise on his neck.

“And Liam is sleeping with somebody else tonight. The only person who gets you tonight is me.” I kissed his pulse point softly before scrambling out of the car, looking at a flustered Lip.

“Are you coming?” I asked, looking back at him, finally noticing how flustered he was. “Awe, are you the one that’s all hot and bothered now?” I giggled.

He glared at me before hopping quickly out of the car and dashing towards me. I shrieked and made a mad dash for the bar. I quickly ran in and ran behind Kev. “Save me,” I pleaded as Lip came in flying behind me.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you for the pretty lady.” Lip said with a fake, horrible, British accent. I squealed and ran into the back.

Kev laughed, “Y’all are idiots!” Kev called after us as Lip chased me.

“I got you,” he slammed me against the door of the girls bathroom and I took a deep breath as his hot breath fanned my face and his arms went above my head.

“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it mister. As far as we’re concerned nothing’s happening until after my shift.” I said in the brattiest voice I could muster.

“Don’t be a brat just because you’re not getting your way,” he threaded his fingers through my hair and tugged harshly. I gulped. I knew this was what I wanted.

“Right,” I nodded slowly. “But I am a brat, so what are you going to do about it?” I taunted, pushing my chest forward, knowing how to use my assets.

Lip took a deep breath as his eyes glanced between my eyes and my chest.

“You’re going to go to work and then when we get home,” He moved so his hands were set just below my breasts and he rubbed the underside of them. My breath hitched in my throat. “Then, we will have fun, you brat.”

I’ll admit, him calling me a brat turned me on more than I wanted to admit. “Okay, I mumbled.”

“Now go work before Kev comes and yells at you.” Lip muttered, kissing my forehead firmly. I pranced out to the bar, knowing full well that Lip was watching my ass.

Throughout my shift, I knew Lip was watching me. I laughed with Veronica throughout the whole shift.

“V!” I giggled as she made another joke about Kev. “You can’t say that about your husband!”

“Lip’s looking at you again,” She wiggled her eyebrows and gave me a knowing look. My cheeks flamed bright red. “You finally admit that you guys like each other?”

“Kinda,” I muttered. “We’re not gonna define it, I don’t think.” I said softly. “The last thing he needs is me going crazy on him trying to define something when we don’t even know what it is.”

“Girl, you trippin’ if you don’t see how he looks at you.” I stared at her blankly. “I mean, you both have had eyes on each other for years.”

“Yeah, maybe me, but no way for him.” I mumbled wiping a glass. “He had Karen, and then he had Mandy. Then he had that thing with his professor and then quickly moved on to Sierra. And I look nothing like them. Plus I have all my scars and that’s a lot of trauma.”

“Look at me.” She said softly. “It doesn’t matter that you don’t look like them, baby. He loves you and that’s what matters. Your trauma is also his, he’s been there through it all. Also, you’ve been with him through all the things too. He loves you girl, don’t doubt that.” V told me honestly. “Plus, you’re hot as fuck girl.”

After my shift, V told me that she would lock everything up with Kev. I smiled as Lip pulled me into his side.

“You ready to go home?” He asked, glancing down at me as I nervously fidgeted.

“Yeah, but,” I hesitated briefly, “Can we take it slow?” I whispered, nervously.

“Yeah,” He muttered, pressing his lips to forehead. “Whatever you want.”

My heart warmed at his sweetness and I hugged him tightly as we made our way to Lip’s car. I gnawed my lip as he opened my car door. I was in for a long night.

#lip gallagher imagine #lip gallagher #lip gallagher fluff #shameless #shameless imagine #shameless fluff #lip gallagher imagine fluff #best friends to lovers imagine #best friends to lovers #fluff #fluffy #fluff imagine #fluffy imagine

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yutahoes · 4 years

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Otou-Chan

Yuta Nakamoto x Reader (Y/N) Smut

(Chapter Nine)

Summary: 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝.𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚’𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Abuse, Sexual Fantasies, Light Fluff

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

9. Proposal

(Y/N) was busy the whole week with work-related stuff. It was Friday when she called that she wanted to work from home since her tablet isn't really working and that she needed to work on her own computer for the draft that she's doing. There is too much work and it doesn't help that her father is out to who knows where.

The landlady knocked on the door, asking for the rent payment that made her slap her forehead in annoyance. Why did she forget about that? "I'll give you two days, give me my money." the older claimed that made her sigh once the door closed. Where will she get that money? All her savings went to the Paris trip and her loans as well, so what can she do?

Paris, she thought. Maybe she can sell off the things that Yuta had given her, it might cost a fortune. She started getting her luggage and bringing out the shoes, dress, and bag that he bought her. With a loud sigh, she started gazing at it. Wore it once after being left on the floor so maybe she can still sell it at a reasonable price. Upon checking the bag, something fell that surprised her, a black card. Yuta's black card. Didn't she return it to him? Is he not looking for it?

The card is tempting her but this isn't right. She decided to stop seeing Yuta because of this reason but here she is, looking at the card as if enchanted by it. Maybe a small amount wouldn't really hurt the card? She just needed to pay for the rent and she can pay Yuta when she had enough money. Yes, maybe she can do that.

Instead of staying home as she promised Jungwoo, she went out to withdraw cash from the card. She was silently praying that her conscience wouldn't kill her after this. When the machine asked for a pin, she remembered 1026 and started typing it. A message confirmed that she can get 10000 from the card that surprised her. That easy?

Pulling the card out and the money, she was surprised to see her father looking at the black shiny object. "Appa," she called then decided to hide the card but he wrestled her into giving it to him. Her dad is a martial artist before so it is a fail attempt to hide the card. He slapped her cheek, causing her to fall to the ground letting go of the black card. He called for a cab before she can stand up and she cursed herself for not being careful and deciding to use the card in the first place.

She grew worried when her dad didn't go home that night. Although she had the cash to give the landlady for rent, she kept on holding it worried about something. Should she tell Yuta? But then, that would cause a lot of issues. He might really think that she's taking advantage of him which is the reason why she stayed away from him. Damn, what should she do now?

Yuta was standing in his office for a while now, overlooking the city of Seoul and hoping to see someone familiar. From what Jaehyun had told him, their publishing house isn't really near the area so why is he hoping? He missed her, her scent, her voice, her face. This was like Paris all over again. Why is he like this when other women were throwing themselves at him? Why is he so hung up with that one girl who obviously doesn't want him back? A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts as his secretary, Kim Doyoung opened the door. "The HR wanted these signed," he claimed, placing the folder on his desk. He loudly sighed before complying, signing the piece of paper without even reading on it.

The younger was bothered at the sudden attitude. Normally, Yuta would be very careful about everything. Checking the documents first and handing them to him for revisions before signing them. "Are you alright?" he asked that made the older nod, sighing. "You look sick, should I call your doctor?"

Yuta just shook his head, looking at his secretary for a year. Doyoung had always been his trusting friend and when he was handed the company, he can't find anyone to be his secretary other than Doyoung who was studying music at that time. He hated that he took a dream away from him but the younger agreed to be his secretary because of his connections to the media. Now, Doyoung knows more from his life than his friends. "I think I have withdrawal symptoms," he claimed that made the other laugh. "From what? You don't smoke and you rarely drink," he claimed then stopped. "Are you taking drugs?" But he just shook his head, claiming that it is worse than drugs. "A girl, perhaps?" he asked that made the CEO lightly glance at his secretary. "I didn't know you had it in you, Yuta but I hope you can see your girl soon and end this depression." The older smirk and in a silent voice whispered, 'I hope so too'.

Yuta was in a meeting with Chinese investors when his phone buzzed, signaling a message. It was the end of an hour-long argument with men in their late forties about the needed technologies in the company when he checked where it was, surprised that it was from a bank. Apparently, someone had withdrawn a hundred thousand dollars from his account and since it's too big of an amount, the bank decided to inform him. Obviously, he was surprised. He remembered that card number, the lost black card in Paris. Someone from Korea has it? Then it clicked. (Y/N). They were together that night when he thought he lost it so maybe she is using it. But a hundred thousand dollars? What is that girl up to? But maybe this is his chance to see her again even if it is a weird circumstance.

(Y/N) was busy for work, editing Ten's illustration for the deadline tomorrow when she received a call from an unknown number. "Is this (Y/N)?" the man asked that made her say yes on the other line. "Can you please come to the police station for questioning?" he asked that made her nervous. This is it. The thing she's scared of. But it took days for her dad to do something.

Johnny was worried when she asked her editor in chief to leave early but she assured that it's just a personal matter. Instead of taking a cab to the station, she took the bus which is way cheaper even if it meant an hour walk. She was breathing heavily when she reached the station, surprised that her dad is in front of someone and kneeling. Upon closer inspection, she saw the man as Yuta. Of course, this is about his card. "Are you, Ms. (Y/N)?" the officer asked that made the others look at her. "I got the card from her, she was the one who stole it." her dad claimed that made her surprised. Why is he like this in front of strangers? "Don't put me to jail, lock her instead."

Yuta stared at the girl in pity. Why is her father like this? Just to save himself? "Appa..." she whispered with a shaky voice. "Ever since you came to my life, everything fell apart. Your mom left, I didn't have a proper job. And all you ever thought about was to go to that stupid country." he claimed then stood up, holding both her arm in anger. (Y/N) had no other choice but to cry at the pain, his hold on her, and the words coming out from his mouth. "You are so selfish; I shouldn't have let you live when I had the chance." His fist was high in the air, ready to aim at her but Yuta had blocked it with his arm. "I don't think violence can resolve something." the younger claimed. Already seeing black, the older guy started punching Yuta in the face for intruding a family matter that made the police separate them.

"Sir, you are at fault here." the officer claimed at the older guy then glanced at his daughter. "You can press charges against your dad for hurting you or we'll let him out since Mr. Nakamoto isn't pressing charges." The sentence made (Y/N) look at Yuta. He stole from him; they stole from him so why isn't he pressing for charges? "Mr. Nakamoto, you also can make a report since he hurt you." And that was the last thing in (Y/N)'s mind.

Yuta was looking at the girl who was frozen on her spot, watching her dad getting handcuffed by the police. It actually broke his heart seeing her this hurt and just wanted to take away everything from her and give her all the happiness. "No. It's fine." Yuta claimed that surprised the girl, relief seen in her eyes. And he wished to see her like this always.

Her dad was sent for a night in prison since he offended an officer and (Y/N) found herself alone at the bus stop. Now that she heard what her dad truly feels about her, where would she go? It's only natural to leave him and run away. But where can she go? A familiar black car stopped in front of her and the windows were lowered down from the passenger seat. "It's late. The bus won't come anymore." And she sighed, that is probably why she was waiting for it and it didn't come. Just like a miracle in her life. "I'll drive you home."

"But I don't want to go home," she mumbled unconsciously that made the guy turn off the engine of his car. Yuta went out of his car and sat beside the girl who was just looking at her curiosity. "It felt weird seeing you like this." he started and she just nodded, unable to form a coherent answer. "Do you have any place that you want to go?" he asked and she smiled, muttering Paris. "It was a dream while in Paris," she claimed and he nodded. It was simple, Yuta thought, she just needed to say it and he'll book a flight to Paris with her. "I have to thank you for that. And for keeping my dad out of jail," she said quietly while staring at her shoes. "About the money, I'll just pay you back..."

"No. Don't," he said that made her look at him in surprise. "That's a small amount, (Y/N)." But she just laughed bitterly. “Just mention a word and I’ll bring you to Paris again. We can run away from your dad. I’ll be responsible for you.”

"You just don't get it, do you?" And Yuta had the most curious expression on his face. What's there to get? “Please, don’t pity me Yuta.”

He hissed at that. How stubborn. “Do you want me to adopt you?”

The girl chuckled at that. That was the most ridiculous idea she ever heard. What is she a child? Is this some kind of a daddy kink on Yuta’s part? Well, she remembered how wild he became when she called her daddy. Maybe, it is. “Oh. I get it now,” she claimed. “Yuta you can’t just pay me because we had sex. I’m not that kind of girl.”

Yuta was agitated, how dare she think that he's just after her body when she's taking over his mind like this? But then these things happened because of his mistake on the plane. If he would just think carefully and not ask her to follow him at that time, they may be on the right foot now. Then maybe she can come with him to his apartment and... Fuck, he really did want her body. Feeling guilty, he swerved the car back to the bus stop surprised to see no sign of the girl. Where could she be? And this late? With no choice, he headed to her place, the house he dropped her off from before. The lights were out, is she asleep yet? Is she not home? Damn, why doesn't he have her number? Maybe Jaehyun could help.

To Yuta's dismay, his friend is too intoxicated for him to answer with coherence. All he understood was that she doesn't have a phone. Who the hell wouldn't have a phone this year? But then, glancing at his surroundings maybe having a phone is a luxury for her like the plane ticket to Paris. She doesn't deserve any of it actually. Jaehyun would always tell him things about her, going to work on time, and even leaving the last from the office. Since she's the newest employee, her co-workers depend on her in editing and even the smallest things like coffee. Then, there's her dad who obviously hates her. Now, he made it a point to make her his own Cinderella whether she likes it or not.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

Chapter 8 / Chapter 10

#smut #yutasmut #yutanakamotosmut #nctsmut #yutanakamoto #yuta #yuta smut #nct smut

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toxiccaptain · 4 years

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Bully OC Meme

[template by @video-space ]

Name: Jackson Bianchi

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Bisexual

Clique: Greasers

Personality: loyal, genuine, good-natured, hardworking

Weapons/fighting style of choice: brick / pocket knife

[Dialogue]

Greetings:

-Aye man, what’s up.

-How’s it going dude?

-Hey.

-Oh hey there

-Hello ma’am

-Hello sir

-What’s up

-Heya

-How is it?

Saying Goodbye:

-I gotta go, see ya

-Bye dude.

-See ya later

-Ah, I must go.

-I’ll catch you later

Chasing:

-I’ll catch up eventually!

-You can’t run forever!

-Get back here coward!

-Running won’t save your face from my fist!

-A game a chase, fun!

-You can run, but you can’t hide!

-I’ll hunt you down!

-Where do you think you’re going!?

Out of breath:

-Maybe,, smoking isn’t ,,the way to go

-Damnit dude,, I feel out of shape

-I,, could’ve swore this was easier,,

-Guess,,I gotta lay off the smokes,,

-Holy hell,,

-I’ll get you,, later

-I’m getting too worked up on a shrimp

-Maybe if I wasn’t in this jacket I’d get you

-I shouldn’t be outta breath this quickly

Walking around talking to themselves:

-Maybe if the prefects weren’t around, I could’ve done more damage to the kid.

-I wonder what peanut thinks of me.

-The Harringtons will get what they deserve, eventually.

-Wonder if the greasers enjoy my upgrades.

-I need to buy more parts, or steal them.

-I need to sharpen my knife.

-Johnny needs to leave that tramp Lola, she has nothing to herself.

-Lola shouldn’t call herself a cheap slut if she even opens her legs for Hopkins.

-Maybe being rich has its perks, but that shouldn’t be known.

-Those stupid preps make me wanna light their stupid house up.

-Everything is boring, why can’t there be more blood.

-This school should get new parts for the cars.

-Gotta upgrade my ride.

-Peanut is a charming dude, wonder is he thinks the same with me.

-Gotta visit dad soon.

-Stupid prefects, always have to ruin the fun.”

-If crabblesnitch really cared for security then why’d he get a bunch of kids to do it.

-Id choke him out if I got the chance.

-I’ll break their face if they got near him.

-If I picked up peanut, would he be mad?

-I forget Larry doesn’t like the nickname peanut, but I think it’s cute.

-I enjoy being around girls but I like peanut more.

-Vance is kinda cute, is that too gay to say?

-I surround myself with guys that are good looking, and I’m not complaining.

-If johnny likes guys, I’d take him off lolas hands

-Being tall sucks sometimes, but it’s fun to pick people up.

-The girls in this school aren’t that half bad looking

-Beatrice isn’t that ugly, I wonder what everyone sees

Conversing:

-Did you hear about the new kid? Thinks he’s the toughest kid here.

-Smith is someone to stay away from, he really can piss people off.

-Heard burton flirts with the girls, surprised that bastard isn’t in prison.

-Poor Galloway man, all he wants to do is drink.

-Something’s going on between crabblsnitch and Danvers, and it’s weird.

-Danvers doesn’t like me, which makes it harder to get away with some things.

-Did you hear about the jocks? How they like to play with their balls, hate to be in their position

-This school is filled with nothing but morons. No offense

-Ms.phillips likes to be friendly with me, should I be weirded out?

-The prefects in this place suck.

Conversation responses:

-Damn man

-Yeah dude, I hear ya

-That sucks man

-I feel you man, but stuff happens.

-All we gotta do is let it slide for now.

-Once we get out of here, maybe things won’t be as bad.

-Wouldn’t doubt it dude.

-You said it man.

Complaining:

-ah man, everything stinks in the dorm

-dude, what the hell is up with everyone, you either love em or hate em

-hate that I can’t have what I want around here

-what does Lola have that gets so much attention, Shes so fake

-I’m attractive and smart, why are the idiots getting the good stuff

-can’t have fun, I bring up how much I love seeing dead animals and all of a sudden they think I’m mental

Unknown/cut dialogue:

-they can’t put me on meds, I’m not mental.

-at least I’m not the one taking medication

- do you get lost in the color red too?

-ever wanted to hear how a bone sounds when it breaks?

-I was invited to a party by tad himself, I think it’s a setup but I kinda wanna risk it and go

-keep barking at me and I’ll bite your head off

-people like to test the waters, only to regret it soon after

-I’m not gay but I’d totally make out with him

Starting fights with cliques:

[bullies]

-cmon you hardheaded punk, let’s go

-you’re gonna get a beat down

-let’s see how much blood comes out your skull

-you’re too weak to push me around loser

[preps]

-c’mon rich kid, can’t buy your way outta this one

-put your money where your mouth is preppy

-I’ll dirty your damn vest with your blue blood punk

-might have money but I’m sure you can’t fight

[nerds]

-your glasses are gonna need a repair when I’m done with you

-you supposedly know it all, let’s see how true that is

-you nerds can’t handle the heat

-you’ll get more than a wedgie when I’m done with you

[jocks]

- cmon meatheads, let’s see how much you can handle from a real challenge

-you idiots are really asking for it

-you’re not tough, you’re just all talk

-your helmet won’t save you from that you got coming to you

[townies]

- you guys aren’t even smart enough to stay in school

-why you even trying? You got nothing to your name!

-you think you scare me? I got a knife with your name on it idiots

-you act more like animals than people, no wonder you’re away from the school

-I’ll call the pound on you losers

Requesting an errand:

-hey hopkins, you got a minute?

-yo jimmy, I’ll give you a 20 if you get me something

-aye, dude help me real quick, I’ll pay

-do me a solid and I’ll give you cash back for it

-Help me out, I’ll give something in return, I swear

Friendly comments:

-hey there dude, how are things holding up for ya?

-it’s good to see you’re doing well

-you look good today

-you’re a cool dude, I enjoy talking to you

-looking sharp Hopkins

Unfriendly comments:

-who let the rat out of its cage.

-smells like someone left the trash out

-best keep it moving or else we’ll have problems new kid.

-does it hurt moron?

-guessing they had no room with the freaks for ya

-you gonna cry loser?

[Extra]

Demanding Flowers:

-would be nice if you showed some interest

-words can only go so far

-you gonna give me something for memory?

-a gift would be nice

After receiving flowers:

-look at you, prepared and such

-awe, for me? Aren’t you a sweet thing

-how cute, making me feel all special

-you’re very charming

Before kissing:

-wanna see how far it’ll go?

-Ya know, I can give something else back if you’d like

-I’d like to see if you’re as sweet as you seem

-you expecting something in return?

Post-kissing:

-not bad for someone of your standards

-This doesn’t make us anything

-Sweep me off my feet why don’t you

-can tell this isn’t your first rodeo

-you got guts for doing that

-I won’t lie, I enjoyed that

[i have no friends so I ain’t tagging anyone]

#bullworth academy #my art #bully: canis canem edit #bully: scholarship edition #canis canem edit #bully canis canem edit #oc #bully oc #jackson bianchi #bully scholarship edition #bully #scholarship edition

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multisugars · 5 years

Text

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧— how they comfort you when you’re stressed out

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬// 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 — can you do an outsiders reaction where the reader has too much on their plate (work, school, etc.) and their SO asks them if they're ok and the reader just bursts out crying from stress?

i did add a couple different sceneries! because i didn’t want to write the same thing for each of them, but it all has the same feel to it!! xx

𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮

your boss decided to call you into work last minute. it’s only been a few hours since you returned home. which means you haven’t even gotten enough sleep to feel replenished. you wished so badly to tell him no, but he’s extremely hard headed and strict. especially towards the woman that work for him. and, you know you could use the extra money, as you’re putting on your uniform you can’t help but feel a sense of tiredness, it’s so overwhelming it makes you start to feel weak at the knees. you immediately call out for darry.

“what’s wrong y/n?” he asks worriedly.

“i-i’m just so tired,” you cry out. “i feel like my boss never wants me to have a break.”

you sit in the chair that rests in front of your vanity. you’ve never felt this exhausted in your entire life. darry takes notice at your weakened state, he hates to see you so worn out. it’s not normal for you to lack energy, you’re the most bubbly person he knows.

“okay, lets lay you down,” darry slides his arms under your legs and carries you over to your shared bed. you’re more than capable of walking yourself, but you don’t complain.

“just take a nap and rest awhile you need it more than anyone.”

“no,” you struggle to escape his strong hold. “i can’t i have to go to work.”

“not today, you’re not goin’ in i don’t care if i have to go talk to your boss myself,” he pulls the blanket over you tucking you in warmly. “rest now.”

“thank you, darry.”

𝙨𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙥

you’ve been working towards your masters degree in psychology for the past two years. you’re so close to being done but it’s so much work and the assignment you were just assigned is crazy difficult and time consuming, you try to push yourself to get more done before bed, but eventually your hands start to cramp from the all the typing, your muscles ache from the hours of sitting at your desk. soda comes into your room when he gets home from work. he’s immediately concerned when he sees you hunched over with your head in your hands.

“y/n...” he questions. “you alright?”

it doesn’t take much for you to break. all the stress finally came piling down on you.

“hey,” soda kneels down lifting your chin so he can see your face. “relax.”

“there’s so much pressures on me,” you vent. “this assignment is impossible.”

“nothing’s impossible for you,” he reassures. “you can do anything. i just think you need a break.”

“yeah i definitely do, will you lay with me for awhile?”

“of course i will,” he smiles shyly.

𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙮𝙗𝙤𝙮

you anxiously walked up the tall stairs into your HS, today was the day of your history presentation. this is what you’ve been dreading for the past week. public speaking wasn’t at all something you were comfortable with or liked doing, and it doesn’t help that you aren’t friends with anyone in your class, well besides ponyboy. he’s the only one you speak to.

you meet him in the hallway, putting your book bag and unneeded things in your locker. ponyboy noticed your hands shaking as you closed the door.

“you scared about this whole history thing huh?”

“uh- a little,” you shrug trying to hide your nerves.

“you’ll be fine,” he tries to reassure you.

but before you can walk away you can already feel the familiar stinging sensation starting to build up in your eyes, your heart rate accelerates, you feel like you’re drowning and can’t reach the surface.

“i can’t breathe,” you say as sheer panic overtakes your body.

pony’s face softenes. he grabs your hand dropping his books, taking you into the nearest closet.

“shh just look at me okay?”

you nod focusing all your attention on him. he runs his fingers through your hair while wiping a few tears away from your eyes. you take slow steady breathes. this isn’t the first time he’s had to help you get over a panic attack. once your breathing gets back to normal again, you feel like you’re finally ready to go to class.

“okay,” you breathe. “let’s go.”

“ uh we’re gonna need a late pass... unless you want to spend the end of the day in detention.”

you look down at your watch noticing you’re about six minutes late to history.

“damn it!”

𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙨

it’s been a busy night at the movie theater. you’ve tried your best to fill everyone’s orders while also working the cash register. your boss previously complained about how many workers there are on each shift so he cut back. sadly this leaves you to try and get so many things done at once. the stress of it all is starting to really affect you, but you can’t quit. you need this job more than anything right now so you can afford to get books for school.

even though your boss a jerk you do somewhat like this job, you’re a people person so seeing familiar faces every week puts you in a good mood, but every now and then you’ll get a disrespectful customer. this time it was a group of boys, you recognize some of them from the college you attend.

“what shit movies are playing tonight?” one of them asks while skimming through the candy.

“can you read? look at the boards outside..” you try your best to keep your cool.

“i don’t think you employees are allowed to talk to us paying clients like that,” his demeanor quickly shifts.

“hey we gotta problem here,” you hear a voice from behind the guys. knowing immediately who it is.

they quickly scurry off, as dallas pushes himself to the front of the line.

“you okay doll?”

“i am now,” you say softly as you wipe just a single tear from your cheek. you didn’t really care about the boys but it never feels good to be embarrassed at your place of work.

“don’t let those jerk offs make you cry.”

you nod and sneak in a quick kiss before dal leaves.

𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙣𝙮

“why can’t he do it this time! i’m going to be late!” you argue. your parents have asked you to clean the house again for the third time this week, and you normally don’t have a problem with helping out but your brother has been sitting in his room playing video games all day and you need to be somewhere. you feel like they always pick you at the most inconvenient times, and the worst part is johnny is waiting for you outside, you’d hate to make him wait.

“your brother is sick and slow! it would take him an hour to even sweep the kitchen,” you mom says as she puts her coat on.

“he’s not sick! he’s playing video games!”

“do it y/n! or you and johnny won’t be going anywhere tonight,” you dad warns as he slams the door behind him leaving you in a mess.

“WHATEVER!”

you collapse on the couch, breaking out into a full on crying fit. it feels like your parents are punishing you. johnny must have heard your cries from the front porch because without knocking he opens the front door, approaching you slowly.

“hey you okay?” his asks trying to help but this only makes it worse.

your cries get louder and johnny is completely stunned. he’s never seen you this emotional. you’re almost positive he’s going to think your absolutely insane after tonight.

“my parents hate me!” you say dramatically.

“i don’t think that’s true.”

“they are always making me clean things or do everyone’s chores,” you sigh. “we can’t leave until i sweep and mop all the floors.”

“well i’ll help ya,” johnny offers.

“really?!”

“yeah, but we better get started...” he pulls you up from the couch bringing his jacket sleeve up to your eyes so he wipe your tears away.

𝙩𝙬𝙤-𝙗𝙞𝙩

“i get that ma’am but i don’t have the receipt.”

“then i’m sorry hun...we can’t exchange it.”

you were trying to get a new shirt for two-bit. the one that you previously ordered had came in to small. but since you ordered it off the store website you didn’t have a paper receipt, and your order wasn’t showing up on their computers, which made you frustrated.

“so there’s no way i can get a new one? or even just get my money back?” you question.

“i’m sorry,” the cashier shakes her head obviously uncomfortable with the situation.

you don’t respond, instead you leave the shirt on the counter and walk out. it might not be a huge deal for some people but you didn’t have a lot of money. and you were out 25$, with nothing to show for it. when you get home two-bit is lazily slumped over the arm rest of the couch, drinking a beer.

“hey baby where’d you sneak off to?”

“the clothing store down town...”

“what’s up? you seem upset?” he asks lifting himself up from the couch.

your shoulders slump down as you bring your heads up to cover your face.

“wow wow don’t cry! sorry for askin.”

“no it’s not that,” you tell him. “they wouldn’t let me exchange your shirt today.”

“and that’s what you’re cryin over?” two-bit laughs wrapping his arms around your frame. “it’s fine.”

“i just wanted you to have something special.”

“you’re all i need y/n.”

𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚

steve had decided last minute to stop and get gas at the DX before the two of you finish your date. this annoyed you a little since you tell him every morning to just fill up while he’s at work, i mean makes sense right? but with his forgetful nature it’s hard to keep him on track with things. when you pull into the gas station it’s pretty empty, only one car parked along the gas lineup. steve steps out to pump and you go into the store to pay. when you walk in you’re met with a very rude and arrogant man who pushes you aside so he can be helped first at the register.

“excuse you sir?” you’re taken aback. “i was in line first.”

he laughs not offering you a response. the lady working the register meets your gaze and mouths “i’m sorry” in your direction. she must not be a very confrontational person, which you understood.

“i’m only paying for gas it won’t take long,” you add hoping the man will let you go since steve is waiting outside in the freezing weather.

“not my problem, you got somewhere to be?”

“actually yes, i do.”

“dressed like that?” the man scoffs. laughing as he scans up and down your body.

you might not have name brand clothes like him, but they weren’t dirty or disgusting looking. as he hands the lady his credit card to pay you can’t help but hang onto his cruel insult. right before you’re about to storm out the doors, steve runs right into you, latching on tightly to both sides of your arms. you lean your head into his chest.

“hey what’s goin’ on?”

you wrap your arms around his waist, crying softly as you reply the mans insult over in your mind.

“that man he-he was being a complete jerk!”

“what did he do?! huh did he hurt you!” steve becomes more aggressive.

you shake your head.

he takes out a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes your eyes gently, while also trying not to smear your eye makeup. you laugh at his sweet gesture.

“you’re the best,” you lift onto your tiptoes placing a small kiss on his forehead.

“i know,” he smirks. “now let’s go outside before that jackass leaves i wanna give him a piece of my mind.”

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julessworldd · 4 years

Text

Little Rose ch. 3

Sorry for the late update, I was stuck between a short or long chapter.. Warnings: Pure fluff, maybe one sad part if you look hard enough. mentions of alochol, sex, pregnacy. Hope you enjoy! I might need a duff’s hoe help for the next part. I’m thinking about a groupie showing up :)

Axl made me take a few days off after Duff announced his engagement to Mandy. I think he finally put two and two together, figured out I had feelings for his bass player. He didn’t say much when he dropped me off, he stayed and held me forever. He didn’t show any anger when he was at my apartment, but I’m sure some alleyway was destroyed from an Axl twister.

A knock on the door, tore me from my thoughts. I looked out the peephole, it was Izzy. I swung the door opened and planted myself to him, “Hey kid”, Izzy said, rubbing my back. “Okay, let me and the bootleggers in”, Izzy joked as I still had him in the hallway. I pulled a blue Johnny Bootlegger out of the black bag he had. I downed the small bottle, “Thanks, I really needed that I ran out of Tequila this morning”, I wiped my mouth. “It’s alcohol not water you know that right, kid?”, Izzy looked concerned. “Yeah and you know that my heart is shattered by your asshole bass player, who shall remain nameless in my presence.”, I sassed. “Right, uh”, Izzy trailed off. “What, Iz?”, I asked, opening another bottle. “Bass player wants you to come with you to uh pick out a wedding ring.”, Izzy said. “Okay, you tell him that he has lost his goddamn mind, if he thinks I’m gonna help or support his wedding. I’m not coming either”, I said, looking at Izzy with disbelief. He honestly thought I was gonna be fine after two bootleggers and Duff wanting my help. “I told him you wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t take no as an answer. I just passed the message, Janie”, Izzy said, holding my hand.

“I know, Izzy. I’m sorry for yelling at you”, I pulled his skinny ass in a hug.

It had been two weeks since, everything I was still at home. Talking to anyone besides Duff and Mandy. Kelly had came over one day, we ended up fucking, but he knew it was just to forget about him for a night. Kelly is a good guy, I hate that I used him like that. He was understanding and didn’t say it bothered him. “Coming”, I said, prancing to the door. I swung it open to have Duff’s tall frame leaning on the frame. “You have some fucking nerve showing up here! Get out of here!”I screamed, attempted to slam the door, but his foot caught the door. Duff stood up, “Janie” I was already in my living room, trying to not kill Duff on a Thursday night. “Janie, we need to talk”, Duff said standing behind the couch from the door. “No, we don’t” I said, clenching my fist.

“Please, I need to tell someone”, Duff said, almost crying. I tore my head in his direction, his eyes were holding some tears back and he sucked air in to keep himself from breaking down even more. I unclenched my fist and held my arms open for him, “Come here” Duff practically ran to me, he started crying and held me close. “Shh, it’s okay, Duff. I’ve got you now, nothing is gonna happen to you. Shh”, I held him close, kissed his head. Duff had calmed down and was looking up at me, he fell to his knees after I put my arms around him. “She cheated on me. I kicked-”, he said, but started crying again. “I’m sorry Duff”, I whispered as I petted his hair. “I came home from an interview with Slash, I didn’t notice his Camaro when I came home. I caught them in bed, where I slept. You must think this is funny, karma got me.”, Duff said, while laying his head on my stomach.

“No Duffy, I don’t. I hate it for you, my heart is broken with yours. I’m sorry, she did that, I know how much you loved her.”, I whispered. Duff had stood up and grabbed my hand, “I’m sorry for talking shit about you, going off on you at the studio both times. I didn’t love her much as I love you, Janie. I’ve loved you since, I came over for the audition. You in your Johnny Thunders shirt and boxer shorts. The sassy comment you made to me about my siblings. The secret glances when I was playing with Izzy and Axl, I’ve never forgotten our first time together after that Seattle gig. I looked at him and started crying. Duff stared at me.

“I’m sorry for saying anything, you’re with Kelly aren’t you?”, Duff asked.

“Don’t be sorry and no, I’m not”, I smiled. “Then why did you start crying after I confessed my love for you?”, Duff asked softly. “Because, I’ve loved for so long now, I lost you once and I don’t want to lose you again. Screw what people think, especially Axl. I love you, Duff Mckagan”, I smiled. Duff’s grin grew a thousand times more, “So you wanna be my girl officially?”, Duff put his hands on my back. “More than anything, been waiting too long”, I reached up and kissed him. He pulled away, “Way too long, babe” I grinned at him, “Wanna spend the night?” “Yeah, my place is a wreck right now”, Duff whispered, laying his forehead on mine. “We can go tomorrow to clean it up. Right now, I just wanna hold you”, I said. Duff picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He reached my bed and laid us on it, “I love you, Janet Aless Rose”, Duff said, looking down at me. Nobody knew my real name besides Axl and Izzy, people from home. I stared at him, “Where did you find out my real name from?”, I asked softly. “You left your wallet at my house, after our drunken sexapedes. I looked into whose it was. And you’re not 5’6”, missy”, Duff said. “I stood on my toes, smart ass. What’s your government name?”I asked, brushing my finger over his nose. “Micheal Andrew”, He grinned. “Sounds like a news reporter. Thank you, Micheal Andrew for the traffic report”, I giggled. Duff tickled my sides, “At least, I don’t have a song from Rocky Horror picture show for my name” “Hey, that’s a good movie. I love Tim Curry in that”, I pushed him away.

“Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker

There's three ways that love can grow

That's good, bad or mediocre

Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so”, Duff sang and crawled back over me.

“I love you too, Duffy”, I kissed his nose. I rubbed his nose, “Is there something on my nose, babe?”, Duff asked. I shook my head, “Then what?”He asked. “It’s cute, you got a little button nose. So boopable”, I booped his nose.

Next morning, Duff and I drove to a diner for breakfast. He wanted to talk before we went to his apartment. He had been looking for houses for him and Mandy to move into. “Who says we can’t move in together?”, Duff casually asked, while taking a swig from his drink. “Duff, we’ve not had our first date yet. Hold your horses, bub”, I gulped. “Right, uh wanna go out Saturday? You know before we head out for tour?”, He asked, holding my hand across the table. “Sure, I’d like that”, I smiled, as our waitress dropped off our check. “How much is my half, D?”I asked, looking for my purse. “Doesn’t matter, my treat”, Duff pulled some cash out. “I can at least do the tip?”, I sighed. “No”, Duff grinned. “I can pay for my own stuff, you know?”, I said, rolling my eyes. “I know you can, Janie. Just let me pay for breakfast”, Duff gave me a toothy grin. “Fine. I’m paying for dinner Saturday”, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Who says we’re going to dinner?”, Duff asked, while grabbing my hand. “Then what are we doing, McKagan?”, I stood up with him. “You’ll see, baby Rose”, Duff winked. I hate when people call me that and anything that shows I’m related to Axl. He’s my brother and I love him, yes. But I’m my own person and don’t need Axl’s clout or connections to make it in the world. We pulled up to Duff’s apartment complex. They were a couple cop cars, we thought nothing of it.

“Oh yeah, you’ve not heard it yet. You will on the tour, the first night”, Duff grinned, grabbing my hips. “Can’t wait”, I grinned back at him. “Mr. McKagan?”, a tall cop asked. “Yeah, that’s me. What’s going on?”, Duff stood in front of me. “You two follow me, please?”, the cop turned around. Duff grabbed my hand and pulled me with him. We reached Duff’s apartment, the cop had walked in. “Duff”, I said with bewilderment. His apartment was trashed, almost like he had got robbed. He said he had an Axl moment and threw things, but this was like he got raided. Suddenly, his landlord approached us, “I’m kicking you, McKagan. This place is trashed and I’m tired of the noise complaints from girls and parties” The landlord had two cops behind him. “Okay, I’ll start packing, Frank. Why did you call the cops? I’m not gonna lose my mind and hurt you”, Duff said amazed. “After seeing what you did to this place, I didn’t know what you did when I told you to get out.”, Frank gulped, staring at Duff.

“I’ve been looking at houses, Frank. I’ll just stay at my girlfriend’s place for now. Here’s the key”, Duff said. Frank and the cops left, we had until 10pm to clean the place and have Duff out. “Duff, who are gonna stay with?”, I asked, throwing a baggie with leftover white powder. “Like I told Frank, my girlfriend’s place”, Duff shook his head. “I heard, but I’m your girlfriend, who you haven’t asked if you could crash”, I said. “I freaked and you were behind me so it made sense. I’ll call Slash and ask him, no problem”, Duff walked to his room. “Hey, I didn’t say you couldn’t stay with me”, I yelled. It was 8:30, when everything was packed in his car and mine. “Alright, Mr. McKagan, leave”, Cop said standing outside his patrol car.

I decided to let Duff stay until we left for tour, but he decided he would stay at Slash’s house instead. “Can you please come stay with me again?”, I pouted. “Baby”, Duff groaned. “Please Duffy, I’ll be lonely”, I whined, crawling into his lap. “Alright, you broke me God!”, Duff threw his head back. “Yay!”, I kissed his cheek. We got back to my place, Axl was sitting outside my door half asleep. “Ax?”, I looked at him. He jumped, but stood up when he recognized us, “Hey, you two made up!” “Yeah, we did. Little too early to tell you this, but better than you hearing on the tour bus.”, I smiled. “Oh, you two are together now. Nice. Come here Duff.”, Axl pulled me aside. Duff stood in front of him, “If you ever break her heart like you did with your engagement to Mandy, I’ll kill you and have you replaced before sunrise. Understood?”, Axl had pulled Duff down by his leather jacket laplets. “Understood”, Duff said. “Alright, Ponch he gets the point”, I rolled my eyes. I opened the door and the men followed suit behind me. “I’m here to tell Janie something”, Axl said. “Tell me what, Ax?”, I walked into the kitchen. Duff was leaning on the counter with a beer in hand, Axl had a look on his face. It was the kind when our step dad yelled at him, told him he would never be nothing, but a criminal. “Are you okay, Ax?”, I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. “Yeah, I am. Uh, shit how do I tell you this?”, Axl sighed. “Axl?”, I asked, getting worried. “Just tell her, she looks scared”, Duff said. “Erin’s pregnant”, He whispered- yelled. I was gonna be an aunt, “Oh my god. That’s amazing, Axl. Congrats”, I pulled him into a bear hug. “Janie, can’t breathe”, Axl squeaked out. “Sorry”, I let go of him. “How long is she?”, I grinned. “12 weeks”, Axl smiled. “Thought it would be Izzy who would be a parent first”, I giggled. “Izzy almost had a stroke when I told him. He knocked me to the floor from excitement”, Axl laughed.

Sunday morning came quicker than expected, I was packing my last bag when a knock was heard. “Coming”, I skipped to the door. “Oh hey Kells, what are you doing here?”, I asked. “Forgot a pair of jeans, I know you’re leaving for the tour today”, Kelly smiled. “They’re on the dryer, I thought they were Axl’s”, I followed him to the kitchen. “Thanks, kid. Aw you washed them too”, Kelly grinned. “Yeah”, I breathed out. “Heard you’re Duff’s girl and an auntie”, Kelly said. “I am”, I grinned. “Uh listen, Kelly. I wanna say thank you for letting me cry over Duff. I’m sorry those two times I slept with you”, I said, Kelly furrowed his eyebrows. “I feel like I used you, Kelly. You’re a really nice dude, I feel like shit about it, getting you wrapped up in the drama that was between Duff and I.”, I said. “It’s cool, I was a distraction. No hard feelings, you got him so we had a good plan if you ask me.”, Kelly grinned. I met the guys in the terminal. Erin spotted me and ran to me. “Hey take it easy”, I grinned. “Did he tell you?”, She grinned. “He did, congrats. I’m happy for you”, I pulled her into a hug. “Janie be careful!”, Axl yelled. “He begged management to let me come”, Erin said. “Tour isn’t a place for an expecting mother. Days are too close together, you need to stay for doctor visits. Please update us. I love my niece so much already”, I smiled at her stomach. “I think it’s a boy, but we’ll let Auntie Jane think that you’re a princess”, Erin giggled while rubbing her stomach. “It’s a girl”, I stubbed up. “Here”, Erin grabbed my hand, pulling it closer to her stomach. “Erin, no. I don’t wanna hurt you”, I squealed, making the guys whipped their heads over to us. “You’re not, I promise. Feel”, Erin whispered. “You’re too early to be having them kick”, I said. “Just wait”, Erin grinned. I felt them kick my hand, “Holy shit! Hi Precious, I’m your Auntie Jane. I’ll take Janie too”, I started to cry, I felt a hand on my back. It was Axl, “She active any?”

“Little bit, maybe that’s Erin breathing”, I wiped a tear. “It’s a boy you saps”, Erin rolled her eyes. “No it’s a tiny remake of me”, I sassed. “Alright come here”, I held my arms out and Axl entered them. “Not you, I’ll see you everyday”, I shoved him away. Axl looked offended. “Now tell me everything that happens at appointments, how big they’ve grown, how many times they kick you. And be careful for godsakes. I love you”, I pulled her into a hug. “You’re worse than Ax”, She giggled. I walked over to Duff, whose back was turned to me. “Hi”, I sighed. “Hi to you too, you okay?”, Duff turned around. “Yeah just so excited that I felt my niece kick. Do you think she heard me?”, I looked at him. “Probably not this early but she sensed someone new. Doesn't it feel weird them kicking back?”, Duff asked. “Yeah, but a good weird. How do you know?”, I asked. “I’m uncle”, Duff grinned. “An Uncle Duff huh?”, I grinned, wrapping my arms around his waist. “You’re an aunt now”, He kissed my forehead.

We finally boarded the plane, I had to sit with Izzy. “Axl said you knocked him over when he told you about the baby. Did you really?”, I asked. “No, but I hugged for the first time in years”, Izzy sighed. “Figured it was fable in his mind. How does Auntie Janie sound?”, I asked. “They’ll probably butcher it, but it’s a cute one”, Izzy patted my thigh. “Hey Auntie?”, I heard Slash say from the sit in front of us. I kicked his chair, but a yelp appeared in the air. “Oww”, It was Steven. “Oh I’m sorry, Stevie”, I raised up and patted his head.

#finaly got this typed #duff mckagan x reader #duff mckagan fanfic #guns n roses x reader #i told you that Duff would stop being an ass

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itsanerdlife · 5 years

Text

Chasing The Dream 4/10

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (High School/College AU)

Warning: Angst. Underage drinking. Jealousy. Language. Heartbreak and arguing.

A/N: This is the series, the prequel of Chasing Dreams One Shot. They do overlap so if you need to read it I can link it when time comes.

Your father always warned you about musicians. They’re never good news, but Peter Parker is everything you could want. The other half to your groupie, rocker baby soul. Peter and the guys have big dreams to be rock stars, you couldn’t be a bigger fan of theirs. But your dad’s got a different path for your future, one that doesn’t include Peter and his band. But can Fame and dreams coming true really keep the two of you apart? Is this just a high school love? Or will you make it through the struggle of chasing your dreams?

Tag List Is Open!!

High School –

Y/N (The Holier Than Now, On the First Rock Album)

Three weeks you and Peter had been together, since the kiss at Wanda’s party. Another Saturday Night rolled around, another round of Challenge Cards. You sat on Nat’s patio set with the rest of them, a girl named Nancy is next to Steve. Your legs are over Peter’s lap, as you throw down your card.

“HOLIER THAN NOW!” Nat yells, making you throw your head back laughing.

“Ask away, better be good.” You wave your hands on.

“Me first, me first.” Steve gets excited.

“Only the Holier Than Now Truth, I swear on the first rock album.” You hold your right hand up, laughing.

“That story, Jeremy Jenson still tells people about the beginning of the summer, the two of you.” Steve wiggles his eyebrows.

“Really?” Peter sighs, his head drops back against the seat.

“What? If I have to listen to you bitch through another practice, I’m breaking the kids jaw.” Steve shrugs.

“Fill me in.” You look at Peter who sighs heavily.

“Jenson has been making comments to Parker, that he got between your thighs before Parker and that you begged him to do it again, but he turned you down.” Buck explains. Your head falls back you laugh so hard your sides ache. Nat has a tear slipping down her cheek as she laughs. Wanda gasps for breathe, almost sliding out of her seat.

“Oh good, I thought this might be funny.” Peter nods, rubbing a hand over his face. He takes the two shots sitting in front of him.

“Oh god.” You sit up, holding up your hand as if you were taking an oath. “Nothing but the Holier Than Now Truth.” You roll your eyes. “Jenson got drunk, dropped shorts and I laughed.” You snort. “He looked like he was about to cry so I swore I wouldn’t ever tell anyone what happened.” You shrug. “He didn’t get between my thighs, he never touched me, not that I think there was enough to actually make contact.” You admit.

“Why did he just drop his shorts?” Sam laughs.

“I think he thought I would be impressed.” You shrug. “More like scarred for life.” You laugh. “Had I known he was giving Peter a hard time, I’d have shared my story with the cheerleaders.” You tap your chin.

“Ruthless.” Buck’s eyes are wide, his voice soft, he’s shocked.

“Excuse me, I have something to do.” You grin, slipping out of the chair.

----------

Peter (Rocker Baby and Groupie Soul)

“What do you want to do after school?” He looks down at her. She sat between his legs on the trunk of his car, they were parked at the look out over the city.

“Not really sure. Dad wants me to go to college. Get a degree.” She shrugs.

“But you don’t want too?” He chuckles, knowing what she wasn’t saying.

“I’m a Rocker baby and have my mother’s groupie soul.” She laughs.

“What?” He laughs, leaning over to look at her.

“Mom was a groupie.” She grins, turning slightly to look up at him. “Met dad in some hole in the wall bar, they were playing in just before they made it big. Mom said she was the one who out beat all the groupie girls, went right up to dad and offered to buy him a shot.” She grins. “Mom’s a dedicated groupie at that, she owns all the Band T’s even helped create a few. She toured with them, right up till she went into labor with me.” She laughs.

“That’s wild.” He shakes his head.

“Mom said that they met in the mid 80’s, by the late of it she was pregnant with me and they were on their second album. She said they were touring when she found out, so they stopped at some little chapel in a random town and got hitched. Mom said she still had the positive pregnancy test in her back pocket.”

“How did you end up here?” He watches her.

“Mom’s brother, lives close. Dad decided to slow down the touring and he didn’t want to miss out on my life. Soon mom convinced him to put out another album and only tour during the summer, so we could follow.” She shrugs. “By the time I was getting into high school, I told dad I knew he loved me and he wasn’t missing anything, except touring. So the band started touring again, mainly in the summer but sometimes it goes over into the start of the school year.” She smiles.

“Do you still tour with him?” He asks.

“Yeah, that’s where I run off to all summer. Living on a tour bus and going to rock concerts.” She laughs. “Mom doesn’t agree with me going to college, she thinks I’ll end up running off to follow some band like the Groupie I am.” She shrugs.

“How the hell did a groupie and a rock star get a good girl like you?” He chuckles.

“If that’s what you call a good girl.” She grins. “Mom wasn’t always a groupie. Not to till Hair Bands started and the Rock N Roll Era got crazy. Next thing she was running off to follow some band and met dad.” She laughs. “Grandma says dad was trouble from the go, swears she knows I’m no better.” She winks.

“Oh I can see that.” He nods grinning at her.

“Hey, I know what people say.” She brushes a loose wave back from her face. “I see the doubt in you and the guys some days.” She tugs lightly on his T-shirt. “But if it’s one thing I know, more than the rocker baby I am, is that you guys are going to make it. It’s going to be alright and I’m going to be front row at your concert one day.” She grins, and hope blossoms in his chest making him grin at her.

“Be prepared there will be too many songs about you then.” He smirks, leaning in to kiss her.

-------------

Meeting Y/N’s dad was the scariest moment in their relationship. Home for a weekend in the tour, Y/N asked him to come to dinner, before they went out to a thing Nat was having. He’d never actually met anyone famous, and Y/N’s dad was exactly that and Peter was dating his daughter.

“So punk says you’re in a band Peter.” Phil smiles, nodding.

“I am Sir.” Peter nods, swallowing hard.

“Mother like daughter.” Phil laughs looking over at Y/N who shrugs. Her mom Stacy laughs, shaking her head at her husband.

“Well at least darling be happy she hasn’t started her own band.” Stacy nods.

“I don’t want to be famous.” Y/N rolls her eyes. “I’ll stick to being famous as the daughter of a rock star.” She shoots her dad a grin.

“And I’m thankful for that.” Phil nods. “Do you have a back up plan Peter?” Phil turns back to him.

“Why would he need one daddy?” Y/N jumps in. “You didn’t have one.” She points out. “Besides I know music, raised around it all my life. I am the music Goddess, of my time.” She fluffs her waves. “I know the guys are going to be big one day.” She grins at Peter from across the table.

“Blind faith punk.” Phil chuckles.

“Daddy.” She throws her napkin down. “You used to tell me blind faith is what got you where you are. Not everyone wants to go off to college, some people want to be rock stars and some people follow them around.” She gives him a direct look.

“Good thing you’ll be going off to college.” Phil nods. Y/N laughs, it’s a full body shaking, laughing, everyone around the table exchanges a look.

“God I hope you don’t think you raised the perfect daughter.” Y/N grins, standing up.

“Punk?” Phil looks at her.

“Daddy just cause I get straight A’s doesn’t mean I’m not a rock star and groupie’s child.” She shrugs a shoulder. “I’m staying at Natalia’s tonight. I’m sure you’ll be gone before I come home. Good seeing you daddy but remember who you and mom are before you go expecting so much from your daughter.” She gives a simple shrug of her shoulders before she turns leaving the room.

“It’s normally not like this.” Stacy sighs looking over at him.

“It’s fine Ma’am. I go through the same thing with my Aunt and Uncle.” He nods smiling at her, before she excuses herself and leaves the dining room. Peter starts to stand, knowing Y/N was going to want to make a quick exit.

“Peter.” Phil stops him from leaving. “When you break her heart, write the song, but move on. If you make it, you won’t have time for her and a family.” He gives one nod to Peter before standing up and leaving.

“Peter?” Y/N stands in the hall looking at him. He looks over at her, bag over her shoulder, waves tied up, skinny jeans and a cut up loose Johnny Cash shirt on exposing the bra underneath. Was her father, right? Was all that would be left of their relationship some song he wrote on a tour bus after leaving her behind? “Come on.” She grins.

The disagreement with her father was going to shape their night, the night they ended up in the backseat of Peter’s car at look out point.

Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @courtmr @all1e23 @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @crist1216 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @abschaffer2 @nickimarie94 @teller258316 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @paintballkid711 @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993 @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @fanfictionjunkie1112 @abbypalmer14-blog @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @xqueenofthecraziesx @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @supernaturallover2002 @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety

Peter Parker: @ml7010 @ariminiria @dkpink123 @quokkatrash @little-smurf @boltsgirl919 @everthenerd @ms-rogers06 @crayonwriting @baebeepeach @bellamouse16 @honey-bee-holly @kiss-the-stars-goodbye

Chasing The Dream: @del-rcys @gabile18 @robin-writes @raven-black102

#Marvel #Peter Parker x Reader #Avengers #Peter x Reader #Chasing The Dream #Marvel Fanfiction #Peter Parker AU Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Peter AU Series

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twdxjess · 5 years

Text

Hey There, Princess: A Negan Story (Ch 4)

Summary: The reader decides to come clean with Rick about her past but when Rick refuses to talk with her, she decides to take matters into her own hands and stop the saviors from hurting her community. Along the way she gets stopped by Negan trying to show her how good it will be to become a Savior. Will she stay with Alexandria or go with her true love at the Santuary?

Setting: Journey to the Santuary ( Season 7)

Pairing: Negan X Reader

Need to catch up? masterlist

Tags: @khloekiddo @squidsart1910

Instead of chasing Rick, trying to explain your relationship with Negan, you decided you needed to get your thoughts together. So you took a walk around Alexandria making Jax fall asleep on your chest. In addition it gave you the courage you needed to finally tell Rick everything about your relationship with Negan and hopefully in the process mend your friendship. As you walk up to Rick’s house with Jax sleeping peacefully in the baby carrier, you saw Aaron waiting on the porch. Just before you motioned to Aaron you saw Rick come outside. “ Well it’s now or never..,” you thought to yourself as you slowly walk toward Rick and Aaron.

“ Hey guys...” you awkwardly stated but Rick walked passed you as if you were invisible, thankfully, Aaron acknowledged your presence and said, “ hey ( y/n) let’s talk later...umm we’ve gotta go somewhere right now...”.

“ Ya’know if you guys just give me like two minutes I can drop Jax off at the Wilsons and I can tag-a-long just like old times!” You cheerfully said but obviously your charm didn’t rub off because Rick still looked pissed. That’s when Aaron calmly replied, “maybe next time...” and then they were gone.

You felt like complete shit, but instead of going home and crying you had another idea. So, you walked over to the Wilson’s and decided to drop off Jax praying they were still on your side. You were nervous at first wondering if they knew about you and Negan but you placed that thought in the back of your mind and knocked on their front door.

As the door began to open you were greeted by Mrs. Wilson, “ Why isn’t it my two favorite people in the world!” She gave you a hug feeling all the stress from the day simply go away. She gestured you into her home and then you asked, “Hey Judy, I know this is last minute but can you watch Jax for a little bit? I need to help Rick on a supply run.” As you were waiting for her answer you noticed none of the Wilson’s things were taken by the Saviors earlier today.

Judy answered your question snapping you out of your thoughts, “ I would love to watch this lil’ one and luckily those people didn’t take away any of our things so you can lay him in our bed upstairs until he wakes. I’ll make sure to turn on the baby monitor.”

“ Wait you’re saying they didn’t even take your medicine, that’s like gold nowadays?” You asked trying to piece together Negan’s plan.

Mrs. Wilson smiles and said, “ Well (y/n) when we were in the basement I just prayed for protection and I think..no I KNOW the lord answered. I mean we still haven’t gone through everything yet but as far as I know they didn’t take a single thing. What about you (y/n)? Did they take anything from your house?” Mrs. Wilson seemed concerned.

“ ummm,” you weren’t sure how to answer you wanted to be honest and say “nope cause the leader is my sons father and my thought-to-be- dead fiancé” but you thought short and sweet would be better so you answered, “ nope my house wasn’t ransacked either.”

Judy smiled with relief and that’s when you headed to her room and placed Jax in the middle of their bed. “ see you later sweet boy, I’ll be back soon I promise.” You whispered to Jax as you kissed his chubby cheek.

Returning downstairs you thanked Judy once more and then left. Knowing Jax was safe you tried to figure out how you were going to leave without anyone noticing you. You remembered a secret tunnel but then you thought that maybe it is too risky with walkers around. Finally, you decided the easiest way was to climb the fence hell you’ve seen Enid do it plenty of times before Rick’s crew came to Alexandria.

Before you left you packed a backpack of supplies and climbed the fence from your backyard. As soon as you were at the top of the fence you saw Carl and Enid climbing too. “ I guess I wasn’t the only one Rick didn’t want help from.” You laughed quickly climbing down to the other side.

Walking through the forest reminded you of the walks you and Negan would take just to get away from everyone’s bullshit at the hotel. You especially looked forward to them when you had a shitty day. You smiled remembering the conversations you had with Negan, and you even remembered the baby name conversation that took place in the woods.

“ What about Kelly for a girl and Matthew for a boy’.” Negan sweetly said while holding your hand.

“ I like them but I knew a Kelly in high school and she was a major bitch and Matthew... I have a crazy cousin with that name.” You shyly grinned.

Negan looked a bit down but then you continued to say, “ why are we even talking about this cause you do realize I’m not pregnant.”

Negan grinned as if he knew something you didn’t but before questioning him he answered, “ its better to be prepared then not, sweetheart, cause you never know what may happen. Besides I think you’ll be an awesome mom!”

You laughed at the handsome man and just smiled knowing how your own mom said the same thing to you years ago and how she could see you being a mom. A tear started to fall down your face thankfully Negan interrupted your thoughts by saying, “what about Jax...it’s kinda of a combination between Jack , which was your dads name and Jackson, cause I always love that song by Johnny Cash. In addition it sounds pretty badass to me!”

You agreed with Negan as he pulled you in for a quick kiss. Then you said, “ as long as I have dibs on the girl names...”

Negan replied, “ Darlin’ you can have dibs on whatever you want.” Negan playfully grabbed your waist and brought you in for a long passionate kiss.

Coming back to reality, as you were approaching the road you heard a car coming. So you quickly hid behind a tree stump. Minutes later you heard the car stop and someone got out slamming the car door behind them. Your heart was beating fast praying they didn’t see you when the stranger finally said, “ I don’t know why you are hiding cause I can spot your sweet ass miles away, Princess.”

After realizing it was Negan you quickly got up and brushed yourself off making your way toward the handsome devil. “ now tell me (y/n), why on earth would you leave Alexandria when you couldn’t decide just hours ago on whether to leave Rick the pricks community or not. Let me guess, are you lookin’ for a good time just like the old days cause darlin’ I sure am.” Negan licked his lips while staring you up and down. “If only he knew how that look made you really feel”, you thought.

That’s when Negan tried to kiss you and as much as you wanted to your instincts kicked into gear squirming your way out of his embrace.

“ Negan, no, I came to talk with you about the future...” before you could finish your sentence Negan inturupted you, “well, sweetheart, if you want more kids you better stop resisting me.”

You laughed, “ Negan, please I’m serious we need to talk about our communities future for Jax’s sake.”

Negan shook his head and replied, “ You know if Ricky would just obliged by Santuary rules..” he stopped realizing you probably had another suggestion so he then said, “you know what, fine I’ll hear you out on one condition...”

You stated to him, “Let me guess force Jax and I to leave Alexandria ...or maybe have sex with you...”

Negan liked where you were going but like he said when he first meet you if you didn’t want to do something he wouldn’t force you. So he shook his head and said, “ let me take you on one date... right now...”

You were stunned at his request and wanted to resist but if this is how he will listen what’s the harm of one silly date you thought. You agreed and said, “ right now, where would we go the sun is almost down.” Negan grabbed your hand and said, trust me sweetheart I’ve been waiting to show you this place for a long time now.”

Just like that you were in Negan’s car riding off into the sunset. Trying to remind yourself, “don’t fall for him again (y/n) because remember he is the villain now not the knight that once saved you years ago.”

#negan fanfiction #negan x reader #the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd reader insert #jdm #jeffery dean morgan #negan x you #negans thirst squad #knight in a leather jacket #part 2

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

Text

I’m officially out into the early days of Dabb Era (masquerading as the end of Carver Era, but it’s clear that Dabb has already taken over at this point) on the tnt loop. And this scene from the end of 11.16 was just so reminiscent of 14.13:

[BOBBY leaves the house and heads to his car. He waves at the nosy neighbor, and gets in the driver's seat. He notices a bottle, with a note attached to it that says, "Fine, you Ass, you win, for now. Enjoy. R." BOBBY laughs. He gets out his journal to write about the case, when his cell phone rings.] BOBBY: Dean. You boys okay? DEAN: Yeah we're fine, Bobby, where the hell have you been? I've left three messages. BOBBY: Well, I was - DEAN: Look I got a possible lead on Lilith in Maine. But we're on a case in Reno, I texted you the address, so if you're done sitting on your ass…

To John waking up in his car, returned to the past and thinking his trip to the future was a dream:

[The Impala is parked near a lake. JOHN sleeps in the front seat. He’s back in 2003. His cell phone rings on the dashboard. He wakes up and answers the call.] JOHN: Dean. No, I’m okay. I just… I just had one hell of a dream. Yeah. No, it was a good one. I’m on my way back. I’ll see you soon.

And at first I thought, oh hey look at these two incredibly similar scenes between Dean on the phone in the past and his two father figures who’ve just unwittingly actually seen a far-future version of Dean.

11.16 was about the “Soul Eater,” whose nest where he brings victims to feast on their souls exists “outside of space and time.” A place where Dean and Bobby could see one another before being returned to their respective places in time. And 14.13 also exists as a weird not-quite-real pocket in space and time.

But then I realized... In 11.16, Dean was calling Bobby to check out a lead on Lilith because he and Sam were much farther away... in RENO of all places.

Which will become significant again in 12.01, the first “official” Dabb era episode, as the place where John and Mary were married. And also the place where Chuck apparently ditched Amara in 14.20.

The mention of Reno one episode before 11.17 just struck me as significant now, and should for anyone who still believes that Red Meat is somehow glorifying the toxic codependency between Sam and Dean. Y’all need to watch that again and actually pay attention to what the episode does as a whole... Bobo has long been Dabb’s partner in crime when it comes to the big thematic stuff, and they literally co-wrote 11.17, kind of unofficially-officially establishing their start point for the eventual endgame. Billie, Sam’s mysterious resurrection, Dean’s self-sacrifice to barter his life for Sam’s and Billie refuses basically telling him this is not a story that can work like this anymore. And this was BEFORE she became Death. She reminded him that his next destination was The Empty, but then... Dean didn’t die. This episode literally established the defining elements of the eventual subversion of the entire narrative, which we’re seeing finally come to fruition after s14.

Can you see why so many of us were THRILLED by 11.17, and the implications of it, even back then? Because it was NEVER about glorifying the “old story” of Sam and Dean trading their lives for each other. It was about the pointlessness of it on a cosmic scale. And Dabb establishing his own in-story Avatar as showrunner in Billie, the symbolic death of the old spiral narrative. He just needed to bide his time until all the planets aligned and could make the direct run at the ultimate subversion of the original author (i.e. Chuck as Kripke’s avatar).

It made me interested to know the history of Reno getting mentioned in the narrative...

2.19: Folsom Prison Blues. Reno isn’t mentioned in the episode, but the title is from the Johnny Cash song:

When I was just a baby, My Mama told me, "Son, Always be a good boy, Don't ever play with guns, " But I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him die, When I hear that whistle blowin', I hang my head and cry.

Which is kind of interesting in the context of the episode taken with the context of all the later references. This was an episode where they deliberately committed a crime, deliberately got themselves “locked up,” not only to solve a case, but to help a friend who’d once saved their father’s life in wartime. At the end of the episode, yes, they stage their escape from prison, but their entire compulsion to help people they feel they owe even at the risk of their own lives or liberty, is sort of encapsulated in this episode. I can imagine Chuck’s fascination with these two, “my guys,” stars of his favorite show, choosing the selfless act this way when Chuck tried to keep forcing them to relive his opposite narrative-- one sibling over the other, one being locked up for all eternity while the other goes on happily creating the universe. The eternal conflict-sacrifice narrative... was always Chuck’s imposition on the Winchesters. Even Cain was confused by Dean’s choice in 9.11, not understanding why Dean chose to SAVE his brother rather than kill him, because Cain was living out just another version of Chuck’s story. This is why Sam and Dean are the exceptions, the version that Chuck just can’t understand, the ones who refuse over and over to accept that Chuck’s story must be *their* story. No matter how hard he’s tried, Chuck just can’t break their will. He can’t stop them from continuing to fight. Even now that Dean has broken and said yes to Michael. Even that couldn’t break his will in the end.

3.01: The Magnificent Seven. When Sam learns about Dean’s demon deal for his life, he begins trying to find ways to get Dean out of the deal and save his life. Tamara suggested to him that there’s a hoodoo priestess in Louisiana who may be able to help:

DEAN: Sam, no hoodoo spell's gonna break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase. SAM: Yeah, but we don't know that, Dean— DEAN (cutting him off): Yes, we do. Forget it. She can't help. SAM (trying to cut in): Look, it's worth— DEAN (speaking over SAM): We're not going, and that's that. What about Reno, huh?

And Dean tells him no, because if they try to get out of the deal, Sam dies. So said the demon he made his deal with, and Dean refuses to let that happen. He even refuses to tell Sam that fact yet, and diverts the conversation with the suggestion they go to Reno instead.

And this is the opposite of Chuck’s original choice, to sacrifice and lock up his sister so his creation could expand unfettered. Dean chose instead to sacrifice himself so Sam could go live that normal life he’d always dreamed of. This was just the beginning of the very long game Chuck would play with them...

Vaguely near the end of s4, and also 11.16:

Between April 17th - ~May 3rd, 2009: Bobby and Rufus investigate what they think is a ghost haunting a house in Grand Rapids, MI. Sam and Dean are in Reno

We never do learn more about the case they were working there, but it did give them a lead on Lilith. Remember that 4.20, the Rapture, takes place on May 3 that year, immediately after this point in the timeline. Castiel was about to try to reveal Heaven’s deception, and their role in breaking the seals to free Lucifer and was dragged back to be reprogrammed into an obedient soldier again. And he would break free of that two episodes later in 4.22, siding with the Winchesters over Heaven and sealing his own fate in a powerful display of free will.

8.21: The Great Escapist: One of the Biggersons locations where we see Cas pass through in his manipulation of quantum superposition to evade the angels is Reno, Nevada.

11.16: the other side of the “outside of time and space” meeting between s4 Bobby and s11 Dean.

12.01: Dean, in trying to convince a freshly resurrected Mary of his identity, and the fact that 33 years have elapsed since she died:

Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Maroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met- Mary: John Winchester. Dean: August 19, 1975 you were married, in Reno, your idea. Few years later I came along, then Sammy.

14.20: Amara is, according to the Lying Liar Chuck, in Reno... while meanwhile Billie, Jack, and the Shadow are having a double-secret conference in the Empty while Chuck unleashes Hell on Earth.

I’m wondering if we’ll ever hear mention of Reno again...

#spn s14 spoilers #spn 14.20 #spn 11.16 #spn 11.17 #spn 14.13 #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s14 hellatus rewatch #spn 12.01 #spn 8.21 #spn 4.20 #spn 3.01 #spn 2.19 #reno is a quantum superposition #dabb vs cars #it's spirals all the way down #if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass #that's what free will is

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artificialqueens · 6 years

Text

Exercise in Folly 2.0 - 2.2 (Craquaria) - SamWhity

Title: Exercise in Folly 2.0 Summary: Monét looked at her with disbelief, before sighing: “Giovanni never saw the damn video. He dodged the whole thing like a pro because he was trying to be your friend”. “He’s my friend”. Cracker’s answer came without any hesitation, so natural and passionate that the other queen smiled softly. “Cracks…” Summary of the chapter: Lunch at Monét’s turns out to be quite the conversation. Between live-rants and breakups, there’s always time for a little heart to heart with the Bronx’s most beloved dragqueen. Author’s note: The italian words mamma, tesoro, balle and coglione mean respectively: mum, honey (or sweetheart), bullshit (or lies… à la: Liza Minelli lies) and asshole (if it’s used as an insult. Otherwise it could be translated with ball or testicle). Again, the whole Jordan-drama is completely fabricated for plot purposes. Cracker’s posts however can be easily found on his FB-page, if you have enough time to scroll through them all. Chapter 1 - Chapter 2.1

What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know Goes away in the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt (Johnny Cash, Hurt)

The vibration of his phone caused Giovanni to wake up. The young man grumbled, before stretching his arms and deciding he might as well sleep another ten minutes. A second vibration made him groan: what the hell was going on? He took the smartphone from his night stand and started reading.

Jordan, 09:13 am: I’ll come in the afternoon and start putting my stuff in boxes.

Jordan, 09:13 am: Just letting you know.

He sighed, before answering with a quick thumb up and throwing the phone on the other side of the bad.

“Damn it”, he murmured, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

He wanted nothing more than to enjoy his day off in peace, without petty drama and bullshit. However, karma seemed to be on his case once again. A new vibration made him scoff.

“Oh for fuck sake!”, he groaned, then he proceeded to read.

Francesca, 09:16 am: Mamma said you are off today. I don’t have classes for another hour and I could use some of your non-existing humour. Skype?

He quickly typed a reply.

Giovanni, 09:16 am: Of course, baby. Are you okay? What happened?

His phone lit up once again, this time with an incoming Skype-call. He answered quickly and took a good look at his sister.

“Francesca”, he asked concerned, “are you actually sitting alone on a bench with puffy eyes?”.

The other one sniffed, before shaking her head.

“Allergies”, she mumbled, then she blew her nose.

“Balle”, he cut her off “What happened, tesoro?”.

The girl started sobbing uncontrollably, making his worries grow by the second.

“Baby”, he tried to soothe her, “Breathe, okay? I’m here. Take a deep breath, it’s all going to be okay”.

In the following half hour, Giovanni listened to his sister’s sad break-up story and tried as best as he could not to show her how angry and upset he actually was. His baby sister was an incredibly smart and hard-working woman and she certainly did not deserve to be treated like that.

“How can I trust people?”, Francesca asked between sobs, “How can I possibly trust anyone ever again?”.

The young man sighed, uncertain about what to say.

“Tesoro”, he murmured affectionately, “Not everyone will hurt you. And those who do hurt you are not deserving of your time, let alone your affection”.

The other one’s small nod made him smile.

“It is going to be okay, I promise”, he added.

Francesca blew her nose loudly, making him chuckle.

“Do you want me to call dad?”, Giovanni asked, perfectly aware of the deep connection between David Palandrani and his daughter.

The other one shrugged, before answering: “I guess… would you?”.

“Of course, baby”, he smiled, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it”.

“How do you trust people?”.

His sister’s question left him dumbfounded and, at the same time, made him wince. Needless to say, he was not the best person to consult with in case of trust issues and doubts. He suddenly felt way younger and afraid of failing one of the most important people in his life.

“I guess you go with your guts”, he mumbled tentatively, before lowering his gaze and closing his eyes for a split second.

“Did it work with Jordan?”, Francesca asked, looking at him with concern.

Giovanni sighed.

“In the beginning, I guess”, he answered, before adding: “Don’t worry about Jordan now, tesoro. It’s all good. It’s great, actually”.

An incoming work-related call saved the young man from further questioning and the two said their goodbyes with the promise of catching up the following day.

“Just to make sure you’re okay”, Giovanni said.

He spent the following twenty minutes on the phone with IMG Models, scheduling photo-shoots and modeling-related appointments.

“Please, be mindful of your weight and measurements”, the secretary of the agency reminded him, before ending the phone-call.

“Well, no shit Sherlock”, he mumbled to himself, before noticing it was already almost eleven and he needed to get ready.

He sent a message to his father, before getting up and making his way to the kitchen.

Giovanni, 10:47 am: Francesca just called crying. That coglione broke up with her and she’s inconsolable.

He then put the kettle on and made himself a cup of tea, before picking up a pair of jeans and a jumper and starting to get dressed. Kevin lived not to far away from him: he might as well walk to the other’s apartment and get a good hour of exercise in. He sipped on his tea and scrolled through his Instagram feed, stopping to take a look at Nicola’s stories and smile at the sight of the man lounging in the sun of Las Vegas.

“He has not answered yet”, he murmured to himself and shrugged, “Maybe he wants to talk about it in person”.

A vibration interrupted his thought-process.

Monét X-Change, 11:23 am: Can you please bring some wine? Yuhua drank it all! :O

Giovanni chuckled, before answering.

Aquaria, 11:23 am: White or red?

The text he received made him cackle loudly.

Monét X-Change, 11:24 am: Wine.

Aquaria, 11:25 am: I’ll take care of it, no probs.

Quickly, the young man went to his bedroom to take his jacket and his wallet. With the phone still in his hand, he quickly closed the door to his room and locked it, before putting the key in his pocket and quickly making his way to the front door.

He exited his apartment, checked his pockets one last time and locked the door behind him, before making his way to the elevator and pressing the button. Once out of the building, Giovanni looked briefly around before deciding the wine from the bodega was good enough for his lunch with Kevin. Neither of them understood anything about wines and there was little to no point in trying to impress his friend.

“He will drink regardless”, he mumbled to himself, while entering the little shop and smiling at the cat lounging next to the register.

The young man quickly found a bottle of Pinot and paid for it, then he exited the shop and started walking.

“Bitch!”.

Kevin engulfed him in a tight hug, before putting the wine on the small entry-table and hugging him again.

“It’s good to see you”, the younger one murmured with a smile, before taking a good look around and commenting: “I see you have settled in pretty comfortably”.

The other one nodded, before making his way to the kitchen and putting the wine on the table.

“Come sit!”, he beckoned Giovanni to follow him, “Come on, take a seat and eat something!”.

His enthusiasm was almost contagious.

In that exact moment, Aquaria’s phone vibrated.

“Sorry”, he mumbled, “I’ll put it away immediately. Promise.”

Jordan, 01:05 pm: You really closed the door? Really?

Jordan, 01:05 pm: I don’t know what you think you’re doing but it’s ridiculous.

Jordan, 01:06 pm: You are ridiculous.

He sighed, before setting the device on “do not disturb”.

“Everything okay?”, Kevin’s voice startled him.

He managed to smile weakly, before nodding.

“Of course, don’t worry”, Giovanni lied, knowing fully well the other one would have never bought it, “It’s honestly no big deal”.

The older one sighed, before taking the bottle and the glasses and making his way to the living room.

“Sit here and wait for me, okay?” he instructed the other one.

In a couple of minutes, the two were comfortably sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and some food on a little tray.

“Okay”, Kevin started with a small smile, “What is it happening?”.

It was a simple question, however Giovanni did not really know where to start. He closed his eyes for a brief second, trying to calm himself enough to put a few words together in a coherent sentence. Exactly in that moment, a flashback of his fight with Jordan made him wince slightly.

“Baby…”, his friend’s voice sounded worried, while he asked tentatively: “What happened in London?”.

The younger one sighed, before taking a deep breath and asking: “What did you hear about it?”.

The other one bit his lower lip, then he answered.

“That you fired him in London and he wants to get sober in LA”.

There was a tentativeness to Kevin’s voice that made Giovanni snort.

“Come on”, he said, “You can do better than this”.

The other one took a deep breath, before nodding.

“Okay, full tea”, he started, “I heard that you freaked out and screamed at him in the car, after the gala. I heard that you fired him on the spot and had to fly on your own while he was staying in London with some guy. Someone speculates you two were fucking and things went sour, someone thinks it’s about money”.

Not receiving any kind of answer, he continued: “Someone says it’s because of drugs and someone else was implying he caused a scene at the Gala and embarrassed you. Since I came back from touring, there is this constant chatter about the two of you and how you should have never worked together…”.

The sob on the other side made Kevin stop, dead on his tracks.

“Oh baby”, he murmured, before hugging the other one and adding: “I’m sorry”.

Giovanni shook his head, before breaking the hug and looking for a tissue in the pocket of his trousers. Once he found it, he wiped his tears and took a deep breath.

“It was so bad”, he murmured, incapable of cancelling those hours from his mind, “I did not know what to do, I was alone and had no idea how to help”.

He instinctively looked for his friend’s hand and squeezed it, before continuing: “The management called the very same evening and it was so humiliating…”.

Kevin nodded, before handing him a new tissue and prodding: “What did Jordan say, after that?”.

The other one scoffed, trying to contain his hurt and failing badly at it.

“He asked me how I dared, he questioned my work and said I would have never survived without him”, he answered, “I never saw him acting or speaking like that”, he then murmured before lowering his head.

Monét nodded, before sighing.

“I’m sorry baby”.

Giovanni nodded and mumbled a small “Thank you”, before blowing his nose.

They spent a couple of seconds in relative silence, before the younger one started speaking again.

“I really thought it was a phase. I thought I could help”, he sighed, “However I can not put my whole career in jeopardy because of Jordan’s issues”.

The older one nodded.

“You did the right thing, Giovanni”, he then murmured and hugged his friend once more.

“Can I have a sip of wine?”, the younger one asked weakly, before wiping away his own tears once again.

Kevin handed him a full glass with a smile, before taking a sip himself.

“It will get better, eventually”, he said, before taking a deep breathe and asking: “Do you want to talk about the video during the interview?”.

Seeing that the other one was still moping he quickly added: “You don’t have to, but maybe it would make you feel better”.

Giovanni nodded, before getting up.

“I just need a small break… can I use the toilet?”.

Ten minutes later, the two men were sitting on the sofa and munching on some Thai food.

“Thanks for the food”, Giovanni murmured, before taking a small sip of his wine and continuing: “Do you mind if I check my phone quickly?”.

The other one shook his head, so he took his phone out of his pocket and looked for messages or missed calls.

Jordan, 02:03 pm: I left the boxes in my room

Jordan, 02:03 pm: I’ll pick them up later this week

He sighed, before replying with a thumb up and continuing reading.

Nicola, 02:07 pm: Is our dinner still on? What about eight at mine?

He quickly sent an answer back, before noticing that the message he sent the night before had somehow disappeared.

“Weird”, he murmured.

Giovanni, 02:10 pm: Of course! You know I never turn down sushi! See you later! Xoxo

He locked the screen, before putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Monét asked softly, looking at him with concern.

The other sighed, before biting his lower lip.

“I don’t know what to say”, he murmured, “I did not want to be in the position of questioning our friendship again, you know?”, he added, sounding incredibly tired and almost spent.

“It’s like the old days, before things went sour”, he continued after having taken a small sip of his wine, “I don’t know if I can trust him and it’s like… it’s like a constant reminder that I’m not good enough”.

“That is bullshit”, Kevin cut him off, “You and Cracker should really stop with this not good enough crap”.

The other one mumbled something, before putting the wine glass down and taking a small piece of bread and starting nibbling at it.

“Do you feel like telling me what do you mean by like the old days?”, the older one asked softly, trying to understand his friend’s point of view as best as he could.

Giovanni took another small bite at his piece of bread, before answering.

“There were moments when I felt made fun of”, he then confessed, “He used to post dumb shit on Facebook and write a comment saying something like… mh… wait until Aquaria likes it. Or let’s see how long it will take before Aquaria will like this post”.

He shrugged, before continuing.

“I constantly felt the pressure of being this mature man when I was barely twenty and it got me in the worst way possible”, he suddenly realised, “Even comparing our style and make-up felt like a dig”.

There was sadness in those words, and shame. There was the realisation their friendship could have been saved years before them being on a reality TV show. They just needed to talk openly to one another, for once. There was a taste of bitterness as well, because somehow the young man was asking himself if it was too late to mend those wounds.

“You should talk to him”, Kevin’s voice startled him, “I am sure he would love to know what is happening in your smart little head”, he then finished with a soft smile and clear affection in his voice.

“I am sure he’s okay. He seems to be doing pretty good nowadays”, the other’s reply made him scoff loudly.

“You two are really something else”, he commented shaking his head, before hugging Giovanni once more and patting his back: “Thanks for sharing that with me”, he finally added for good measure.

The younger one’s phone vibrated a couple of times, making the two break the hug.

Rémy, 02:35 pm: He’s losing it again.

Rémy, 02:35 pm: Have you seen Jordan’s live?

Rémy, 02:36 pm: I have no idea how to stop this nonsense but someone should.

Quickly opening Instagram and selecting Jordan’s latest Instastories, Giovanni was presented with a live video of his former room-mate. He was clearly intoxicated and sitting in a room the young man was not familiar with. He was talking to his and Aquaria’s viewers and mumbling words.

“You know, I really wish him the best. Even though he is a sly little brat and can not for the love of God survive on his own. Did you know he hangs around his friends all the time because he is afraid of being alone? Because he is, let me tell you. Funny because he has no problems chasing them off of his life, if they don’t fit his perfect little sanitized lie. He’s an hypocrite little piece of…”.

The video suddenly stopped. Kevin took his friend’s phone, close the App and put it on the table before he could witness the rest of that rant. He then moved closer to Giovanni and put a hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry, baby��, he murmured, then he continued with a sterner voice: “But you should stop watching this shit, or caring. You know who you are, you know how much hard work you put into everything you do. Think about it and let the rest go”.

Biting his lower lip, the other one nodded before getting up and taking his jacket.

“My apartment should be free now”, he announced, “I might as well go back to it and do some work”.

In a couple of minutes, the conversation was over and he was out of Kevin’s apartment. When the wind started blowing making him shiver, Giovanni suddenly realized something: he didn’t. He didn’t know who he was, let alone who Aquaria was. Not anymore. Not after all that. Not when he struggled so hard to keep himself together without crumbling after just a couple of low blows.

“Shit”, he murmured, wiping away a single tear.

#craquaria #slowburn #miz cracker #aquaria #monet x change #rpdr fanfiction #exercise in folly #samwhity #canon compliant #s10

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antonverloc · 6 years

Photo

i made verloc a playlist because listen it’s my day off and this is definitely the most productive use of my time. many of the songs refer to different aspects of him (or at least my portrayal) as well as his relationships, and those details and the most prominent lyrics in each are under the cut.

GERM CELL TUMOR / SHOWBREAD (HIM). ❝ i’m often misplacing the conviction that i sell; i put it on display so arrogantly. sometimes being right is important to me; i need the vindication, but it doesn’t make me happy. i’m horrified by the prospect of defeat; so many demons want to make a home in me. ❞ + ❝ i think that when i started, there was hope in the tank. somewhere along the line, i replaced all of it. running on the arrogant fumes of self-satisfaction, got me reeking of the odor of my own pestilence. ❞ + ❝ so petrified, and i’m tangled in conceit. ❞

SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE / THOMAS DOLBY (SALLY). ❝ i don’t believe it! there she goes again. she’s tidied up, and i can’t find anything. all my tubes and wires, and careful notes, and antiquated notions. but it’s poetry in motion, and when she turned her eyes to me, as deep as any ocean, as sweet as any harmony, she blinded me with science. ❞

DEAD IN THIS HOUSE / IAMX (CHILDHOOD/FAMILY). ❝ you’re in the dark, just you and anger; your oldest friend, your closest lover. show them your art, show them your alchemy - your addictive, viral, euphoric, raging need. ❞ + ❝ kick down the door, kick through the pain. you’ve been talking to the wall, ‘cause everybody is dead in this house. ❞

SMOKE AND MIRRORS / GOTYE (HIM). ❝ you’re a fraud, and you know it; but it’s too good to throw away. anyone would do the same. you’ve got ‘em going, and you’re careful not to show it. sometimes you even fool yourself a bit - it’s like magic - but it’s always been a smoke and mirrors game. anyone would do the same. ❞ + ❝ such highs and lows, you put on quite a show. all these highs and lows, and you’re never really sure what you do it for. ❞

ANIMALS / MUSE (HIM). ❝ out of control - you’re out of control. strike those in distress. analyze, advertise, expand, bend more rules - buy yourself an island. ❞ + ❝ out of control - we’re out of control. crush those who beg at your feet. analyze, franchise, spread out, kill the competition - and buy yourself an ocean. amortize, downsize, lay off, kill yourself - come on and do us all a favour. ❞

NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (HIM). ❝ one track mind like a gold fish, stuck inside my petri dish. i can’t breathe and i can’t smile - this better be worth my while. i feel numb most of the time; the lower i get, the higher i’ll climb. and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine; looking for the golden light, oh, it’s a reasonable sacrifice. ❞ + ❝ forego family, forego friends. that’s how it started, how it ends. i can’t open up and cry, ‘cause i’ve been silent all my life. ❞ + ❝ oh, i get dark - and oh, i’m in hell. i need a friend - oh, but i can’t yell. yeah, i’m no good, no good to anyone, ‘cause all i care about is being number one. ❞

SOLITAIRE / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (HIM). ❝ don’t wanna talk with anyone, i’m obsessed with silence. i go home and i lock my door, i can hear the sirens. i see buildings and bars from the window, and i listen to the wind blow. i see people and cars covered in gold, and i’m happy to be on my own. ❞ + ❝ hard like a rock, cold like a stone. white like a diamond, black like coal. cut like a jewel, yeah, i repair myself when you’re not there. solitaire, something you consider rare. i don’t wanna be compared with that cheap shimmer and glitter. ❞ + ❝ i’m in love with the ice-blue skies of england. i’ll admit, all i wanna do is get drunk and silent. ❞

HURT / JOHNNY CASH (HIM/SALLY). ❝ i hurt myself today to see if i still feel. i focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real. ❞ + ❝ everyone i know goes away in the end. and you could have it all - my empire of dirt. i will let you down; i will make you hurt. ❞ + ❝ i wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar’s chair; full of broken thoughts i cannot repair. beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear; you are someone else, and i am still right here. ❞

WHITE SUBURB IMPRESSIONISM / IAMX (HIM). ❝ you might keep me alive, but i can let you down any time that i like. ❞ + ❝ break my neck or my fall, and burn all the bridges, and breach every wall. the sweetest of touches, the violent caress - the time of your life for the marks that you left on me. ❞ + ❝ never argue with these idiots, they drag you down to their level and beat you with ignorance. ❞

FLAWED DESIGN / STABILO (HIM). ❝ when i got older, i began to lie to get exactly what i wanted when i wanted it, and i wanted it. now i’m having trouble differentiating between what i want and what i need to make me happy. ❞ + ❝ and i will turn off, and i will shut down; burying the voices of my conscience hitting ground. the chemicals are restless in my head. ❞ + ❝ never take advice from someone who just admitted to being devious, who just confessed to treason.❞

COLD COLD COLD / CAGE THE ELEPHANT (HIM). ❝ doctor, look into my eyes. i’ve been breathing air, but there’s no sign of life. doctor, the problem’s in my chest; my heart feels cold as ice, but it’s anybody’s guess. ❞ + ❝ it’s cold, cold, cold, cold inside. darker in the day than in the dead of night. ❞

NOTHING PERSONAL / NIGHT RIOTS (HIM/DOWNERS). ❝ the center of the world is lonely me. ❞ + ❝ i’ll be the king, you’ll be the filth i wash away. it’s nothing personal. ❞

WHO ARE YOU, REALLY? / MIKKY EKKO (HIM). ❝ so, you feel entitled to a sense of control, and make decisions that you think are your own. ❞ + ❝ now you’re moving idle, and you say you’re alone. ❞

DON’T MESS WITH ME / TEMPOSHARK (HIM). ❝ how it all began, if truth be told: i had a master plan, now i rule the world. took ‘em by surprise, worked my way uphill. they looked into my eyes; i became invincible. no one can stop me, for only i am in control. if you want me, you’d better contact my people. ❞ + ❝ won’t you please disappear? something tells me you can’t further my career. ❞

CALL MY NAME / THE UNLIKELY CANDIDATES (SALLY). ❝ i keep my heart under the floorboards, deep in the dark, far away from yours. a panic starts in a little box when you’re at my door, and it’s fine. no, i lied - i feel it screaming. it knows what you’ve come for. ❞ + ❝ heart! what is it i hear? i’m moving past the real, and it wants to feel you call my name. ❞ + ❝ i pass the time in cool paranoia, detail each crime that killed me before you. but your pale blue eyes trigger innocence and bind to euphoria, then it throbs, and i’m about to hear it laughing. my heart will destroy us. ❞

WIRES / THE NEIGHBORHOOD (HIM). ❝ mr. know-it-all had his reign and fall, at least that’s what his brain is telling all. ❞ + ❝ you knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated. ❞ + ❝ the wires got the best of him - all that he’d invested in goes straight to hell. ❞

I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOU / MISSIO (HIM/SALLY). ❝ depressed again; morning comes too fast, and i’m tired of the routine. depressed again, let me sit alone in the tone of tranquility. angry again; no, i don’t want to have a conversation with you. angry again; let me sit alone with the kerosene. ❞ + ❝ i don’t even care about you, i don’t even care about you - depressed again - angry again - let me sit alone with the kerosene. ❞

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLDS / LORDE (HIM/WELLINGTON WELLS). ❝ welcome to your life, there’s no turning back. even while we sleep, we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature. everybody wants to rule the world. ❞ + ❝ it’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. ❞

STORMS / FLEETWOOD MAC (SALLY). ❝ every night that goes between, i feel a little less. as you slowly go away from me, this is only another test. every night you do not come, your softness fades away. did i ever really care that much? is there anything left to say? every hour of fear i spend, my body tries to cry. living through another empty night, a deadly calm inside. ❞ + ❝ i haven’t felt this way i feel since many a year ago, but in those years and the lifetimes past, i did not deal with the road. and i did not deal with you, i know, though the love has always been. ❞

EARTH / SLEEPING AT LAST (CHILDHOOD/FAMILY). ❝ fault lines tremble underneath my glass house, but i put it out of my mind. long enough to call it courage, to live without a lifeline. i bend the definition of faith to exonerate my blind eye; ‘til the sirens sound, i’m safe. ❞ + ❝ meanwhile, my family’s taking shelter; the sparks send the fire down the wire. the countdown begins, until the dynamite gives in. ❞

BURN / AURAM (SALLY). ❝ if i burn, you burn with me. you got me so fucked up, feels like you’re watching me. thought you’d be haunting, but it’s her that’s haunting me. is this what you want? setting me on fire. i thought i loved you right, but this is what you inspire. and you were right when you told me “you’ve got a lot to prove”; may not be watching close, but i’m watching you. now i’ve got ammunition, baby - you don’t even wanna think about what i could do. ❞

WEIRD SCIENCE / OINGO BOINGO (HIM). ❝ from my heart and from my hand - why don’t people understand my intentions? plastic tubes and pots and pans, bits and pieces, magic from the hand, we’re making weird science. ❞ + ❝ pictures from a magazine, diagrams and charts, mending broken hearts. ❞ + ❝ things i’ve never seen before behind bolted doors; talent and imagination. ❞

THE SCIENTIST / COLDPLAY (SALLY). ❝ running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart. nobody said it was easy; it’s such a shame for us to part. nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard. oh, take me back to the start. ❞ + ❝ i was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. questions of science - science and progress - don’t speak as loud as my heart. tell me you love me, come back to haunt me - oh, and i rush to the start. ❞

PIPES / TOM MILSOM (HIM/SALLY). ❝ the world is strange; it’s all a game, a shooting range. for apathy and empathy, psychology and therapy; and even if i’m eloquent, this all defies my sentiment. ❞ + ❝ hovering intangibly is everything you mean to me; i’d cut open your humming heart if only i knew where to start. these microscopes replace my eyes, and everything it magnifies is something new, but everywhere you cast a shadow on the atoms in the air. ❞ + ❝ let me cut it open and explore the information, in the pipes that make it mazes of logistical holisticism. ❞ + ❝ there’s no emotion in my eyes, i’m just a robot in disguise. the passion, when it came to me, was more than sonic fallacy. ❞

OH NO! / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (HIM). ❝ don’t do love, don’t do friends. i’m only after success. don’t need a relationship, i’ll never soften my grip. ❞ + ❝ i know exactly what i want and who i want to be. i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine. i’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy - oh, oh no. ❞ + ❝ one track mind, one track heart. if i fail, i’ll fall apart. maybe it is all a test, ‘cause i feel like i’m the worst, so i always act like i’m the best. ❞

DANGEROUSLY / CHARLIE PUTH (SALLY). ❝ i ignored the truth, drunk off that love. it fucked my head up; there’s no forgetting you. ❞ + ❝ you’ve awoken me, but you’re choking me. i was so obsessed, gave you all of me - and now, honestly, i’ve got nothing left. ❞ + ❝ knew we would crash at the speed we were going, didn’t care if the explosion ruined me. baby, i loved you dangerously. ❞ + ❝ usually, i hold the power with both my hands tied behind my back. look at how things have changed. ❞

#OOC ╱ TAKE OFF MY MASK AND LEAVE THE LIES TO THE LIARS.#HEADCANONS ╱ IN THE DARK JUST YOU AND ANGER.

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janiedean · 6 years

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Man, you have no idea how much I hate you. I hate you so much that I’m going to force you to choose between THREE songs to analyze. “Shut out the Light”, “Gypsy Biker” and “The Promise”. I’d wish you best of luck, but I so highly dislike you, that I wouldn’t DARE to offer you such a kindness. (Also, I'm just not sure if you've analyzed any of those yet so I'm covering my bases.)

HELLO ANON THIS IS AN OLD ASK BUT SPRINGSTEEN DAY IS COMING and therefore I’m going with my favorite out of the two I had left (I’ll do the other one asap tho!

youtube

*DRUM ROLL*

So: The Promise is one of those mythical songs from Bruce’s vault, in the sense that it’s from the late seventies and everyone knew it existed to the point that it was supposed to be the title-song instead of Darkness on that record but instead he never properly published it because it was too personal and he could never find the right version, which is why there’s like fifteen different takes of it in between the one on tracks, the one on the promise boxset with all the darkness outtakes, the ten live versions and so on - basically he was reworking it for literal years. So I’m just going with my favorite version - I mean I love them all but this one to me is.. just… IT SPEAKS TO ME MORE THAN THE OTHERS? idk but I love this one above all others ;_; (I think I like that it starts slow and goes into full band while the others tend to go either all band all piano idk)

Now, context: in order to get what’s behind this, you need to know that post-Born to Run he ended up in a trial with his former manager of his first two records out of contractual reasons (tldr: the contract he signed at the beginning was shitty and the manager didn’t want to settle for new conditions he found more favorable/fair) that lasted two years and during which he couldn’t publish anything because in the contractual drama there were also song rights involved. So: it was not the best time of his life and he felt it as a betrayal of sorts since he was actually close to the guy and considered him a friend.

With that said, let’s go at it:

Johnny works in a factory and Billy works downtownTerry works in a rock and roll band looking for that million-dollar soundMe sometimes I don’t do nothing, some spend a lot of time aloneSome nights I go to the drive-in and some nights I stay home

Now: the two people in the first line are probably imaginary and they’re there to establish a situation, in the sense that factory and downtown are two types of job that he could have had and his friends could have had, while the third one is relevant to our discussion because he works in a rnr band looking for that million-dollar sound, which is what *he* was doing up until he actually published Born to Run and hit it.

And then, he doesn’t do nothing, spends time alone etc., which is (according to his autobiography too) what he was doing when he couldn’t write or record music thanks to the trial and when he was starting to hit a fairly bad phase in his life. So: he’s basically staying on his own with his thoughts. Not good.

Now: he goes to the drive-in.

I followed that dream just like those guys do way up on the screenRode down the Challenger down Route 9 trough the dead ends and all the bad sceneWhen the promise was broken, I cashed in a few of my own dreams

Key elements we have here: dreams and cars.

Now: follow that dream is the title of another seminal mythical Springsteen bootleg which also sums up a lot of his philosophy, and it’s in a few other songs of his, but in this case: he followed that dream the way people did in the movies, meaning, making music, but that can also apply to anyone trying to make their way through life following some dream they have.

Now: the Challenger is a car which is one of his most basic metaphors, and in this case he rides it ‘through dead ends and bad scenes’, but it’s kind of obvious that it’s about his music, not a car, which he brought through dead ends and bad scenes meaning all the false starts he had until he could actually publish his records.

And then the promise was broken and he cashed in a few of his dreams, meaning that when the legal drama started, he saw it as a broken promise which eventually ended up having to sell his music ie his dreams, which was not what he was hoping for when he went into the business. Actually:

Well now I built that Challenger by myself, but I needed money and so I sold itAnd I lived a secret I should’ve kept to myself, but I got drunk one night and I told itAll my life I fought the fight, the one that no man can ever winEvery day it just gets harder to live the dream I’m believing inThunder Road, here one ride in the morning till it turns lightThunder Road, there’s something dying out on the highway tonight

‘I built that Challenger by myself’ = I wrote that music by myself obviously, and ‘I needed money and so I sold it’ = ‘I signed a bad contract also to survive and bring it to the people’, but that goes into the main narrative of the *fictional character* he’s singing about who has built that car and then sold it. But what’s the real deal in this is the middle section ie I fought the fight no man can ever win + it gets harder to live the dream I’m believing in, as in, we’re back to the main themes of the album consisting in how following your dream doesn’t necessarily means getting what you want nor the end of your problems/fights (the fight that no man can ever win) and living in it can turn into a nightmare (because it gets harder).

Now: the Thunder road part in the refrain has another double meaning because it’s, again, both the title of one of his most iconic songs and the title of a noir movie (remember: he goes to the drive in and wants to live his dreams like people on a screen from before), and we have a) one ride in the morning until the light comes (hopeful imagery), b) something dying on the highway tonight (negative imagery), so that dream he achieved - or anyone else - can either end up hopeful or wrong and it can even be both at the same time, or maybe you can hope it goes well while in truth it’s wrong. Who knows. IT’S UP TO THE INTERPRETER.

Well now I won big once and I hit the coast, oh but somehow I paid that big costI feel like I was carrying the broken spirits of all the other ones who lostWhen the promise is broken you can go on living, but, man, it steals something from down in your soulLike when the truth is spoken, but it don’t make no difference, something in your heart grows coldWell I followed that dream in the southwestern flats to the dead ends and a two-bit barsWhen the promise was broken I was far away from home sleeping in the backseat of a borrowed car

And now we’re at the big guns.

‘I won big once and I hit the coast’: general enough that you can see yourself in it if it happened to you, but if you know the backstory you know it’s about him finally getting to publish his music and somehow paying that big cost anyway (count that in between that, the previous contractual conditions and having to pay off contracts and so on he was half-broke at least until the River tour);

‘the broken spirits of all the other ones who lost’: he feels like even if he won or partially won, he’s still feeling a kinship with anyone else who went through the same situation;

‘you go on living but it steals something down in your soul’: whenever someone breaks your trust in such a bad way when you were intimate friends or partners or whatever even if you go on it breaks something in you that might never change back and it’s actually… a very… universal thing I mean it’s true that if you get betrayed by someone you’re close to it’s usually a bad blow, which goes hand in hand with the ‘something in your heart goes cold’ the moment someone tells you the truth and for you it changes nothing when it should;

the final line is more his fictional character than him, but it lines up with the rest because we have again following a dream through dead ends and he sleeps in the seat of a borrowed car, because he sold the one he made with his own hands and so the breaking of that promise goes with having to sleep somewhere that’s not his and that he can’t relate to and that he feels like has been stolen from him - and he’s also far away from home ie in the place he should feel safest/more at ease.

And:

Thunder Road, here’s one for the lost lovers and all the fixed gamesThunder Road, here’s one for the tires rushing by in the rainThunder Road, remember me and Terry what we’d sayThunder Road, we’re gonna take it all and throw it all away

We’re back at the Thunder Road refrain, where it stands for: a) lost lovers/fixed games ie all the relationships he lost and all the *games* that he hadn’t thought existed before going into the business, b) tires rushing by in the rain ie an image of someone running away in a car under the rain which is not exactly a good omen but still is about getting out of a situation you don’t like, c) something he and the friend in the band used to say, which is d) we’re taking it all and throwing it all away which is the exact same idea as the it’s a town full of losers and we’re pulling out of here to win of Thunder Road’s ending, except that TR’s is optimistic, this one is more ‘we said we would do it and then look at how we ended up’. It’s probably interesting to note that Terry is also the name of the friend in Backstreets with whom the protagonist has a falling out thanks to a supposed betrayal:

Blame it on the lies that killed us Blame it on the truth that ran us down You can blame it all on me Terry It don’t matter to me now When the breakdown hit at midnight There was nothing left to say But I hated him And I hated you when you went away Laying here in the dark You’re like an angel on my chest Just another tramp of hearts Crying tears of faithlessness Remember all the movies, Terry We’d go see Trying to learn to walk like the heroes We thought we had to be Well after all this time To find we’re just like all the rest Stranded in the park And forced to confess To hiding on the backstreets

I mean, coincidences? We just don’t know, but I DON’T THINK IT’S 100% A COINCIDENCE that the name is similar and that this is the guy who gets mentioned again at least here rather than the other two. Anyway that’s me doing speculation lmao.

Anyway: this song had endless versions and it only ever was published two decades after the fact because it was Too Personal and he couldn’t find the proper, but even if it’s really personal it still manages to be relatable thanks to those key passages in stanzas 2 and 3 (the fight that no man can ever win/when the promise is broken it steals something from down in your soul) and while I don’t know if it’s The Best Springsteen song as a lot of people rightfully think (BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING GREAT SONG) it’s definitely one of the most intimate, raw and beautiful Springsteen songs exactly for how his experiences are made relatable to everyone else in a way that’s imo heartwrenching and bye I love this and I love all of the other versions and BRUCE IS GREAT OKAY? okay. ;__;

#bruce springsteen #okay this one is good enough to be tagged lmao #the springsteen birthday party 2k18 #Anonymous #ask post #bruce meta

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catastrothicc · 7 years

Text

one of these days i'll make a coherent intro post, however *bts vc* not today !! hello and welcome to johnny's world where we're shit @ introductions and even worse at consistency. honestly i cant stick to shit someone assist. anyways ! i bring the last piece of the puzzle rocky, who for some unfathomable reason wasn't taken ?? and i cried ?? fate. uh right i'm 19 and i never fkcing learned how to read. mdt timezone. them/they pronouns. continue under the read more to kill some brain cells !!

tw: physical and mental abuse/manipulation, drugs/alcohol and death/murder.

here's his soundtrack if u wanna listen while u read

DON'T DWELL ON THE PAST // ( i'm not even sure if i'm sticking to this [ looks @ admins nervously ] so things might change up if it doesn't fall w/ the right timeline. ) ( forgive the length the muse is real )

born on october 31st, 1995 ( happy halloween ) in deadtree, rocky was an entirely healthy baby received with much love by his mother and with some hesitance by his father. all he knew was how to shit and cry and life was a paradise, until eventually the months started rolling by that became three years and his mother was in a freak car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down and with a bad case of major head trauma.

rocky still firmly believes that she woke up from her coma by god's will even if her basic executive function skills and self-regulations were gone. she had to be taken care of just like him, and the doctor's promised she'd learn to eat on her own again and her speech problems would regulate. this... did not happen. maybe it would've, if she had lived longer, but rocky never got to see the day when he didn't have to help his mom bathe or brush her hair.

his dad was the only source of income in the household besides his mom's monthly pension that the man would take and then disappear for days. he was bitter about having to raise rocky all on his own and even more bitter about the hefty hospital bills they were going to be paying off for the next several years. all the man wanted to do was laze about with a beer in his hand and a blunt in the other.

from early on he was prone to anger and it often manifested itself physically, so rocky would always have a bruise or two somewhere on his body. it was fine as long as the man wasn't hurting his mom, and he couldn't do anything else but accept the rough treatment.

he and his mom were becoming more and more neglected by his father, who only provided the bare minimum to eat and took his wife's pills for himself. rocky was already in school and he was that kid who always got off the bus running to get home. no one knew that he always ran to make sure his mom was okay while he was gone.

he was nine years old when his dad handed him a bottle of morphine and explained to him that the whole bottle would help his mom get a good night's sleep for once. rocky, knowing how much his mom struggled to rest, took the bottle and put each and every pill in his moms hand and watched her drink them until the last one. she did go to sleep, of course. rocky thought he'd done good until she didn't wake up the next morning.

he grew incredibly distant from his dad after this. he was already used to taking care of himself and his mom was the only reason he really bothered to make it home early, so after her death he got into every after-school activity he could manage, and when it wasn't enough, he ran around the streets with the older kids and pretended to be *cool*.

he started dabbling with the drug scene really early on in middle school, when he realized that his dad would never strive to be anything else but a piece of shit, so he decided to steal his pills and weed just like the man had stolen his mothers medication. he would sell them to his upperclassmen and never took any for himself because he saw what they could do, though eventually he did weed in high school and besides the occasional dose of ecstasy he doesn't do more than that.

one day, at age seventeen, he went home and his dad was gone. he waited for three weeks before he sold everything and fixed up a small abandoned house that became his new abode. with the cash he'd gotten from the car and the furniture he began growing his own hella dank nug, and eventually there was word on the streets about it. his dad had always been his unaware provider, but soon enough rocky joined a group as a dealer while selling his own stuff on the side.

he didn't want to follow under someone else so he got to the roots and offered the group's providers a better deal and eventually the business was going to him alone. people saw more opportunity with him and they flocked to his side one by one until he ran the original leader to the ground. honestly this kid was hella good in school and just as good in the streets.

of course it didn't happen without a fight tho so talk about several near-death experiences !! the streets are dangerous children stay in school.

fast forward, he had what he intensely regrets with elaine-- honestly had a good time dating a rich ‘good’ girl until he got real bad vibes from her and it wasn't chill anymore. felt real personally attacked that she was ashamed of him and broke it tf off. fuck a fake bitch !!

( me: plays hero by enrique iglesias for this section ) and then shiloh came ! his lord and savior. his fkcing BAE. would do ANYTHING for this boy is2g makes me so emo i'm shAKING just thinking about it. rocky truly believes this boy is his soul mate. he loves him so much oh my godfjsdh.

at this point his drug ring wasn't at all what it is now. it was relatively small and the profits weren't all that good but he was doing what he could. he had steady members who had been with him since the start and shiloh became an addition along with his best girl giselle and (eventually) barbara. honestly the dream squad nothing could stop them they were invisible. unfortunately there was a snake in their ranks and goddamn he's glad she showed herself honestly good fucking riddance barbie. he felt real betrayed after she left but if anything he thinks it made his crew tighter and stronger. still hates tht bitch tho afTER EVERYTGIH HE DID FOR HER.

( to be 10/10 honest tho rocky is a manipulative bastard and he thinks he's real slick but barbie caught on and he feels extremely attackt )

anyways so knowing that shiloh and giselle are his tru ride or die pals ( 👀 @ giselle ) the business continues and they're still the dream squad. sure they're doing shady af things and they've always been doing them but u kno what they say there ain't no rest for the wicked !!

he didn't at all like the fact tht shiloh pursued an internship w/ the mulani family but he tried to keep it chill because he loves and supports his bae but honestly could not do it. he doesn't personally pay too many visits to sycamore city precisely bc he goddamn loathes the mulani and moon families after all they've done to his people ( esp the moon’s ) and to think shiloh was getting involved w/ them really tested him as a person. he fcking failed because of how much shiloh wanted a pass into the city and rocky held him back but he's so goddamn proud of their love like damn. he knows he doesn't offer everything shiloh wants but he's out here tryin' his best to get his bae the life he deserves even if he's the worst street rat and everybody knows it.

( what is he secretly doing w/ all tht money tho hmmm )

BABY RIDE WITH ME // in regards to the *gollum vc* precious ( the ring )

just so the squad and ex-squad can get a feel of how rocky runs the ring i'm includin' this here

so rocky makes it a point to be an approachable leader whom you can go to with your problems and he'll have your back 100%. honestly everyone's dad there's no one left out. he keeps his status as the leader not by cruel acts to show what happens to rats but by making sure he's understood by each individual member. he's not the violent type at all unless someone really tests him but this guy preaches that people understand by words and acts of kindness not by violence and torture. he needs loyalty above all else so he offers a safe sanctuary to anyone who needs it. it comes with a price ofc but all he asks is that u do ur job and he'll keep u off the streets. basically in his group everyone has each other's backs and he's involved with everyone, not only because it helps him keep close tabs on everything but because that blanket of safety for his members is very important to him.

when it comes to his dealers he basically lets them do things their own way as long as they're not out there hurting innocent people. he pays by commission so it's really up to the dealers how much they wanna sell and who they wanna sell it to. he doesn't force his own morals onto his peeps so if they wanna sell to junkies who are gonna overdose on their next hit then that's really up to them. he just tries to guide them by telling em' the right things to do even in a shady business like their own.

w/ that being said shiloh is also a huge part of it, being his right hand man and all. rocky isn't all too meticulous or anything fancy like that, so he leaves a lot of decisions up to shiloh and honestly they're both huge dads just running a drug ring fjsiudhfgi

HE KNOWS HE'S SO FUCKING TALENTED // regarding his personality

rocky is a cocky piece of shit honestly i hate it but best concept

he genuinely thinks so highly of himself ?? even though he knows he's up to Some Shit ??

anyways i just wanted to mention that LMAO but find his full list of attributes here that i jst ctrl c ctrl v from the app. honestly will tell u all about his personality. thanks for reading this long ass, terribly structured, shitty shitty intro honestly u.... deserve a medal if u got thru it. is it too late to mention tht english is not my first language fhsuidfh

#pc.intro #⦁ — › OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? — ⌜ ᴏᴏᴄ ⌟#( IFROGOT THE INTRO TAG )#( anyways )#( highkey so happy to be here sehfdiufh )

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kdfrqqg · 7 years

Text

Breaking up

Sam x Reader with a lot of Dean: One shot Warnings: lots of Angst, Sam is a liar and cheater, language, sorry if your name is Amber (you’ll understand), Dean being amazing. Summary: Sam cheats on the reader but she stays at the bunker because Dean asks her to. A/N: Written for @srj1990 300 follower challenge. My prompt is “How can you say that!? I thought I meant something to you!”

Word Count: 2.1K

The fight just kept playing repeat in your head. You had just broken up with your boyfriend and you didn’t know what to do. It was late and you, him and his brother all lived together. There was a back bedroom that the boys never went in, this was your sanctuary for the evening. You were angry, how could he do that? You had given up so much to be with him, taken care of him when he was injured, risked life and limb for him and his brother.

There was a knock on the door, “Come in.” You said holding back your tears.

The fear was that it was Sam, you just couldn’t see him, not now. Dean popped his head in, you smiled in relief, “I heard you two going at it pretty hard back there.”

“Dean, we broke up!” You cried. He was quickly right by your side comforting you.

“Hey y'all be back together in no time.” Dean’s voice was calming.

“No, no we won’t.” Your eyes searched his. “Did you know?”

“Know what?” He questioned back.

You wiped away a tear, “That he cheated on me.”

“I’m with him all the time, when the hell did he have time do that?”

“Oh he meets her for coffee after his runs. That’s why his runs have extended from 30 minutes to almost two hours. She’s a fucking local, and they fuck over at her house. I’ve probably met the little bitch.” Your words were vicious rolling from your tongue. You didn’t know if she knew about you but it still pissed you off thinking about her hands on your man.

“She can’t mean anything to him.” His hands rubbed up and down my back and arm.

“Oh but she does. He loves her!” You said sarcastically, “I asked him,

‘How can you say that!? I thought I meant something to you!’

He just said, ‘you did but not anymore.’ What am I going to do, Dean?” You were beat down. The man you loved more than anything didn’t love you anymore.

“I’ll talk to him, (Y/N/N). I know he still loves you. Please don’t leave us. You aren’t just his girlfriend” you shot Dean a side eye, “ok, his ex-girlfriend, you’re also the closest thing I got to a sister. Just promise me you’ll stay the next couple of days.”

“Ok I’ll stay" you paused, "for you. Keep him away from me and you should take all my weapons too.” You joked but shit, you were also serious. If Sam made you angry enough you didn’t really know what you would do.

Dean moved to the door, “Don’t worry we’ll get this resolved.”

Over the next few days everytime you saw Sam around the bunker, you hid from him. Dean checked up on you a lot. He and Sam talked and things still weren’t looking good for saving the relationship. You cried all the time. There was even a hunt and Dean told Sam, he wasn’t going because he had to take care of you.

“Dean, he hasn’t even tried to come and see me.”

“You just have to give it time. I don’t know what’s going on with him. I’ve tested him for everything. He isn’t a possessed, or a shifter. I don’t think he’s been cursed. I know you don’t want to hear this but he may really have feelings for this other girl.” He told me.

“Just tell me what to do here Dean, please.” I begged.

“Stay, ok. You’re family, just cause you broke up doesn’t mean you are any less family. We will be professionals. You'll live here, come on hunts with us, you have our backs like always. Maybe he will fall in love with you all over again, if you haven’t already moved on.” He suggested.

“Ok be professionals and stay.” That was all you needed to hear, you pulled yourself together and marched to the war room. “Samuel Winchester!” You yelled. “I’m not leaving. We are hunters, and we save people. Just because you don’t love me anymore doesn’t mean I can’t work with your dumbass.”

“Ok then," Sam’s eyes looked so cold, he could always compartmentalize so well. “I found us a case. Three dead, all had their hearts ripped out.”

“So werewolves. Wheels up in twenty.” You bit your lip not sure what the hell you just did.

You held back tears a good way of the trip as you drilled holes in the back of Sam’s head with your eyes. You were fine until a piece of hair fell in his face, your body automatically started to move towards him to move it back into place. Your hand was only six inches from his face when you realized this stupid piece of hair wasn’t yours to move anymore. That’s when you lost it and the tears flowed from you. You tried to stop crying and keep it as quiet as possible but Dean had been looking back at you frequently in the rearview mirror.

“Sweetheart, you ok? You want me to pull over?” Dean asked.

“No, don’t do that.” you sniffled, “I’ll be ok.” You moved forward and reached over the seat grabbing Dean’s extra jacket that he always kept with him. “Can I use this?”

“Sure thing Sweetheart. Anything you want?” He was so calm, you should have chose him not asshole brother. Sam turned to you with tears forming on the corner of his eyes. It was the first sign of emotion you had seen from him in days. “Don’t you say anything to her!” Dean yelled at his baby brother.

You curled up on the seat facing away from the brothers and placed the soft jacket under your head. You cried until you finally feel asleep.

“Sweetheart,” Dean shook you gently to wake you when we got to the motel. “There she is.” You smiled back at him. “We're here. Do you want to get one room or two? I totally understand two rooms.”

“I’m a professional. We need just one room. I’ll sleep in your bed. Ok?”

“Ok then.” He took your hand helping out of the car.

You brought your gear in and laid on the bed. You knew you should help Sam but talking and working with him was proving to be problematic since you almost couldn’t look at him without crying. You needed a drink or ten, so you pulled out your phone and called an Uber. “Sorry, Dean but I gotta get out of here for a bit. My ride will be here in a few. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

He hugged you, “Call me if you need me.”

You shook your head and in a very hushed tone you said “ok.”

You walked out of the motel room, and you heard Dean start to yell at Sam through the door, “I hope she was fucking worth it. Look at what you did to (Y/N). I don’t understand you. She’s great! You loved her!” It just made you cry more so you moved to the front of the building and waited for the car.

“Where to?” The Uber driver asked.

“To a nice quiet bar. I need to drink.” you explained. He seemed to understand.

You ordered three shots of Johnny Walker and beer. You just wanted to stop feeling anything and go numb. Numb was a good idea right now. Why did you agree to this?

After sitting at the bar for a while, “Hey Sugar, can I buy you a drink?” A nice looking guy asked you.

This was not his lucky night, even though you were buzzed, you still weren’t in the mood. “Go away!” You growled.

“Now, that was harsh.” You heard a familiar voice chuckle.

“Sam, what the fuck, why are you here? Did you come and gloat? Then fine. I’m a wreck. I’m sad, angry, depressed and if it wasn’t for Dean, I would have stabbed you in the eye earlier this week.” you spat at him.

“No I was worried. I’ve never seen you like this.” You were about the say something but he cut you off, “Dean yelled at me again tonight and this time I think I realized why I did it.”

“Oh do enlighten me?” You said sarcastically.

“I’ve never made it to the finish line with anyone before. Jess died, Amelia and I split when I found Dean but you and I, we were, well perfect. I just thought you would leave me or get killed but you didn’t. So about six months ago, I bought this.” He set a small blue velvet box on the counter. You jaw dropped, you knew what was in there and you knew he still loved you. “I just kept thinking what’s the point she’ll just leave me one way or another so I sabotaged us because I got scared.“

“Oh you got scared! You could have just talked to me. I wasn’t scared of this. You and me were the best thing I’ve ever had.” You raised your voice.

“I know but when I met Amber.” He kept explaining.

“Really, Amber? I bet she's some yoga loving freak hippy, who couldn’t throw a punch to save her life. I assume you haven’t told her, what you do for a living? Did she even know about us?”

“No, she didn’t about anything. I lied to both of you. She was just so different from you, which is why I thought I was falling for her. I’m so sorry. I pushed you away and you’re still here. You are a better person than I ever thought. Just let me drive you back, please.” He requested giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes ever.

You weren’t sure what to say, all you wanted was to be back in his arms or punching him in the face. “Ok,” you hung your head low.

He pulled out some cash and placed it on the bar for your drinks then he grabbed the blue box before he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You wanted to pull away but there was something that kept you there in his nook.

He helped you in the car because you were really drunk and tried. You really did drink those shots a little too quick. “I never knew how much I would miss you.” He put his hand on top of yours as he sat next to you on the bench of the Impala.

“So is it over with Amber?” You said wiping your nose with your jacket.

“Yes, it is. I still love you. I don’t know why I said those things. I guess I just wanted to hurt you so bad that you would leave me. I never knew how much I truly hurt you until today.” He explained.

“I still love you too but I just don’t trust you anymore.” you breathed out.

“I know.” his voice was so shy and sincere.

“How about when this hunt is over, you take me out ‘as friends’ and we work on our trust issues.” He smiled at your comment and his dimples were showing, you couldn’t help but smile back. “No promises, Sam.”

“I don’t care. As long as I have a chance to get you back. I was wrong and stupid. I will never hurt you like this again.“ He was so elated that his lips crashed into yours, you kissed back knowing that you shouldn’t but he felt good. You wanted to feel him all week.

“Sam, this is nice but I now ready yet. Please just drive me back to the motel.” You told him and he complied.

Dean was laying on the bed when we walked through. “So you look better. How’d it go?”

“Good, Sam and I worked some stuff out. He can start earning back my trust after this hunt.” You informed Dean.

Sam interlocked his fingers with yours, “I’m going to do everything I can to win you back.” He walked you over to his bed and padded for you to sit down.

“Sam, I’m still going to sleep in Dean’s bed this hunt.” You said it coldly and stern. You weren’t ready to give into him just yet.

“I can respect that. I love you and I will make this up to you.” He pecked you on the cheek.

Dean piped up, “Just so you know, Sammy, you ever pull this shit again, I will have no problem holding you down myself and letting her wail on you with a pair of brass knuckles.”

Sam nodded understanding that he didn’t just hurt you but he also hurt the whole family in the process.

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takeenata · 7 years

Text

Home

Had I known ahead of time that I’d be coming back from the grip of death, I would’ve requested better insoles inside of these dress shoes. It would make the walk along this highway bearable. Whose dumb idea was it to hitchhike along a highway anyways; does this thumb trick even work?

Right. My dumb idea.

Bury me with gloves next time too. And a scarf. An overcoat as well. As my walk along the highway continues, the biting cold of this Alaskan weather battles against my exposed skin. I do what I can to keep one hand warm, the right hand, as it gets tucked away in my pocket. The left, sadly, is the one that has to be mistreated as I stick it out to draw attention to the cars driving by.

I remember back before I died when my family were constantly on the move from state to state, meaning highways and routes were the fastest way to and through. As we drove along, there was always some man doing as I do, his thumb as he requests anyone and everyone to give him a ride. I told my kids to be careful of these men; it could very easily be someone trying to rob you of everything you have, or even steal your car. Now I walk and wonder how many of those men were in the same boat I am; lost and just trying to find their way home.

Left hand is getting too cold. Left arm is getting tired. I pull it away from the brisk air, cup a fist around my mouth, and breath into it. The back to trying what I can to get a ride home. If anyone would be willing to drive all across the country for a man that looks like me. Fingernails have grown out past my fingertips, and they’re dirt-logged. My beard is scraggly, unkempt, disastrous, mangled and just -- I’m trimming it as soon as possible. Hair isn’t that bad, but it’s usually does it’s own thing anyways.

I don’t want to guess how my breath smells right now.

…

Another hour goes by, and I am maybe four miles closer to home. At this rate, I’ll be home in a few months. That isn’t anywhere near alright. Any minute away from home is a wasted minute. Hysterical that Austin brought large attention to having to focus on the eight demons that murdered me, but he wastes my time by having my wake up in Alaska.

Honestly complaining about being alive. Intolerable. Life is a gift. I’ve been given it twice now. How often can a person say that?

…

Just as soon as I was ready to stop trying to hitch a ride and continue walking; a truck with a hood over its bed pulls over and begins to flash it’s hazards. Despite the help I needed, and the lack of anything but dirt-riddled clothes, it’s in my nature to offer help in anyway possible. Tucking away the left hand that felt frozen, I approach the vehicle and use the warmed right hand to wave at the driver.

The driver opens the door and steps down, talking to me face to face. Well not exactly face to face, he’s roughly a foot shorter than I am. I can tell he’s human, with his lack of any abnormal features like pointy ears, or bucked lower teeth. The vehicle is still on, the loud engine rumbling in a static position, as he comes down. He’s wearing black long-sleeve shirt, a plaid shirt over that, and a type of vest over that. He wears some sort of baseball-cap that was black, with U.S.M.C. stitched on in bold military-like lettering. “Howdy,” he says, scratching the stubble on his face.

“Hey,” I say, giving a small wave to him. “Your hazards are on. Is your truck broken?”

“Nah, she’s fine,” he calmly says, patting the hood of his truck. “Couple a’ truckers were chatting on their radio of a guy trying to hitch a ride, wearin’ a suit down this highway. Figured I’d do somethin’ nice for a change.”

“You’re offering me a ride?” I say with triumphant glee. A stroke of good luck.

“Depends where you’re headin’ to.” I tell him the general area of the state where I live. He takes out a phone, I assume to check his GPS. He nods his head as his thumb flicks across the screen, humming as he looks at the roads. “I’m headin’ down to Louisiana, but I can afford a day’s delay to drop ya’ off home.”

“That would be one of the nicest things anyone has done for me,” I say, offering a handshake. He takes it with firmness, giving it a good shake and letting go. “I’m Tak, by the way. Takeenata.”

“Nice to meet ya’ Tak. I’m Matthew,” humbly he spoke, heading back into his truck. “Matthew Hellburn.” I walk to the right side of the vehicle, dusting myself off any cold dirt clumps that layered my suit before I enter the truck.

I sit inside, observing the interior. Nothing out of the ordinary by my numbers; the radio that was able to play cassette tapes could be considered retro, or vintage. Matthew had a mount on his dashboard though, square and pointed towards him. He takes the phone from his pocket and snaps it into the m -- Hey he has a phone!

I want to call my wife now. No - I need to call my wife! She above anyone else deserves to know I’m alive! “Matthew, can I borrow --”

“My cellphone? I’d let’cha but we’ve got no service for a couple miles from here.”

Damn.

“Once we hit the main highway, signal should be good enough to make a call. Is it like, very important?”

“Very very. I’ve gotta call my wife.”

“She’s at home all the way in --” “Yeah. All the way out there.”

“Hell. What’re ya’ doing all the way in Alaska.”

“I’m uh --” Time for a half-truth. “Visiting family.” He peers over at me as we drive along the highway now; stripes of yellow zipping past us. The look he gives is one I’m familiar with giving and receiving. Matthew’s trying to figure out more questions. “Does she even know where you’re at?”

“She knows I’m out here, but she doesn’t know I’m coming home.” I have a feeling I’ll be telling Matthew a few secrets of my own eventually. I don’t mind sharing them though, there’s little to no chance that after we go our separate ways, I’ll never hear or see him again.

“Well alright then,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, averting his eyes back to the road. Have a feeling more questions will come throughout this road trip.

I’ve got another one in store for him. “How long before I’m home?”

“A day at least. Two days at most. Depends on how shitty traffic gets when we pass through major cities.”

“Why pass through the major cities at all then?”

“Ya’ know I asked myself that? I mapped out back roads but I can’t be certain the safety of them; cities like to take care of their most used streets and roads ya’ know?” I get it. He’s looking out for his safety, and probably his trucks.

Not to downplay a Ford, but it looked to be in need of better maintenance. In his head, he probably considered a chance of his truck breaking down. If he was on a major road, help would be easy. If he was on a backwater road of gravel and dirt, help would be difficult to come by. Or there’s always the possibility that he just wants a faster route.

Thinking on his truck reminds me of my own car. A 1969 Camaro Stroker. Absolutely love that vehicle. It’s at home in my garage. I can feel a smile stretch across my face as I think on this car and it’s beauty. Because when I get to see my car, that means I’ll be home; I’ll see my family before I see my car.

Family comes first.

…

Nothing between Matthew and I. No conversation, not even the occasional glance over the shoulder towards one another. The recordings of the late and great Johnny Cash is the only thing filling the void of silence. Sadly this is the third time now Matthew has let the CD play on loop; this CD has nearly all the songs Mr. Cash released during his time.

Maybe’s now the time to break the silence with an important question. “Is your phone getting signal now?”

“Lemme check,” he says, tapping the phone on the mount. He swipes a few times on the screen before he gives a definite answer. “Sure does,” Matthew states, dismounting the phone and handing it over to me, digital dialpad already on the screen for me to type.

“Thank you. Like - Thank you. This means a --”

“Call your wife, man. Then thank me,” he interrupts. But, he’s got a point.

I enter Pirella’s ten digit number, hands shaking as I press each number. I’m feeling a wave of emotions rush through my head as I hear the dial tone. Anticipation; I have no idea how long I was gone, but I know it wasn’t any less than a year, and she thinks I’m dead; this will be one of the best bits of news she’ll ever hear. Yet, I feel a level of fear.

My mind rushes to think that the worse has happened while I was away. As I think, the worse thing possible begins to slowly evolve with each passing thought. What if she’s sleeping right now? What if her phone’s dead? What if she’s at work? What if she’s not near her phone? What if she changed her number? What if she got a new phone? What if someone bought her a new phone? What if she moved on and is living with another man? Good Lord, what if she couldn’t handle to stress of raising two kids and abandoned them? Good Christ -- what if she killed herself?!

Get ahold of yourself Lossehelin. Pirella is a strong willed woman. A fantastic warrior of mind and body. Nothing would even cause her to come close to a drastic measure as suicide. The fact that you’d even think such is low. She wouldn’t move onto another man, she dedicated seventeen years of marriage and three years of coast-to-coast monster-hunting before that.

“Hello?” I hear on the other end of the phone. It’s not Pirella’s voice. It could’ve been easily mistaken for her voice though, if Pirella was maybe ten years younger. I am greeted with the sound of my daughter, Nimie’s, voice instead. She must’ve had my wife’s phone for the time being, which tends to happen she’s busy enough to not answer the phone.

I think of something to say to let Nimie know it’s me. Her nickname I have for her! “Hey troublemaker,” I say.

“Wha - no way. Dad is that you?”

“Yes, this is dad. Is mom around?”

I can hear her starting to sniffle, and her voice starts to sound dry. It was not my intention to make my daughter cry, but what happens, happens. “Y-yeah dad, sh-she’s in the other room.”

“Can you get her for me, please?” I then hear Nimie shout for Pirella. The wife shouts back on what my daughter needs. Daughter, coughing with her suddenly dry throat, says that I’m on the phone. Not many seconds later, the phone is given to my wife.

“H-hello?” Says my wife, hope masked with disbelief in her voice.

“Hey, babe,” I say, with complete joy.

“Sir, if this is a prank, you’re a sick-minded freak.”

“It’s not a prank honey, really. It’s me. It’s -- it’s Tak.”

I hear her start to ball her eyes out, Nimie joining in. “Oh my God, honey! Wh- what happened? How’re you al- how’re you back?!”

“I was gi-”

“I -- I don’t even care! I’m just glad you’re back and -- and!” I hear her gasp suddenly. “Oh God, honey, you’re all the way in Alaska, how’re you heading home?!”

“I’m getting a ride from a friend,” I say, eyeing Matthew. He’s watching me have this conversation. For some reason he waves when I mention him. “We’re gonna be home in two days.”

“Two days? Are you sure?”

“I’m sure baby, really. I -- I’ll be home soon.”

Her voice continues to tremble. But in this seeming horror, she’s happy. “Please come home. We’ve missed you so much babe.”

…

It’s been a day of travelling with the occasional stop for rest and food. A thought comes to my mind; I ask it instantly. “Matt what ah -- what day is it?”

“What day?” He questions, eyes fixated on the road, but his attention to me. “It’s Saturday.”

“No no - the date. What date is today?”

“Oh. May seventh.”

“May seventh?!” The haunting truth comes to me. Three months. Though the passage of time for me was just a few hours, the reality is that I was dead for over ninety-days. Ninety days. My house was built in less time than that. All the things I missed during that timeline. I’ve gotta make up that time to them. To my family.

“Didja not have yourself a calendar in Alaska?”

“No Matt, I uh - I didn’t.”

“How’dja manage that?”

“I’m not the best liar Matt.”

“I could tell that about ya’ since I picked you up yesterday,” Matt laughed. “But what’re you trying to hide?”

“It’s a uh. Something of a bad habit of mine.”

“We’ve got about another day’s worth of travelling before we’re at your place. Wanna stop at a uh - like a Burger King to talk about this or something?”

“I ain’t hungry, Matt. This is also somethin’ I wouldn’t wanna discuss in public either.”

“Is it graphic?”

“Just weird.”

“I can do weird.”

“I’ll take your word on it.” How the Hell am I gonna just up and say I had just woken up from my grave? That I’m a hunter of evil monsters and beings? Eight demons jumped me in an alleyway. I made a deal with an angel to destroy them, if I got to go back to being alive.

I take a deep breath in, collecting myself and my thoughts. “When you found me on the highway, I had just come back from the dead.”

“So you’re a vampir -- actually that wouldn’t work, you were walkin’ in the sun.”

“I’m not any sort of undead being. My soul’s intact, and I’m me.”

“So what are you then? Is it a thing for elves to come back to life when they die?”

“I think if that were the case, this whole situation wouldn’t be happening right now. But I’m uh - I’m Takeenata. For most of my life I kill evil beings and creatures.”

“Is it for some kind of enjoyment? Not common to meet someone else that does that ya’ know.”

“It’s not for enjoyment; Hell I’ve never enjoyed doi - someone else? You do this too?”

“Mmhmm,” Matt hums, nodding his head at the same time. “It started with Afghan. My squad got hit by something nasty; wasn’t human. Since then I’ve been searching for anythin’ like it. Ain’t right for evil like that to do what it wants.”

“Been a long time since I’ve met anyone else that does this. What eh,” I scratch my chin. “What’s your story then?”

Matt also scratches his chin, pondering my question no doubt. “Parents were assassinated by some ghouls when I was younger. I grew up livin’ with that, telling everyone the truth. I thought someone out there would understand my story, but really, no one believed what I was saying. Said my mind made up that scenario to help cope with their deaths. Strange, yeah? With all that exists, people said I was crazy for thinkin’ a ghoul killed my parents?”

“Vampires walk ‘round with umbrellas and dragons take form of humans to fit in. It’s strange that people still don’t believe a lot of things.”

“It’s a lotta bullshit is what it is. Eventually I accepted the fact that maybe, I was crazy. I grew older, and went down a path of valor. Joined the Marines, went two tours to Afghanistan. During my last few months there, my squad was taken out by a group of insurgents who turned from guys in robes to monsters with knife-like-teeth.”

He takes a few breaths, and under his breathing I can hear him silently counting to ten. “I knew then and there that what I seen as a kid wasn’t an illusion. What I saw was something inhuman.”

“Sounded like you through Hell, man.”

“And Hell left it’s mark,” Matt said, taking his left hand off the steering wheel to reach over and tap the back of his right shoulder. “During a firefight, I got shot in the back and blacked out almost instantly. When I woke, I was in a helicopter, flying away from the fight. I argued to go back, but the docs said I had no chance in Hell of returning with my injuries.”

Despite his injuries, Matt wanted to return to the fight. Admirable. “Couple months later I got a medal, I guess. Soon after I had to be relieved of duty; my bullet wound messed up my shoulder and arm pretty badly.”

“Well hey man, if it’s any relief; thanks for your service.”

“I like to think, Tak, that my service ain’t done yet. Ya’ know, fighting these monsters and doin’ work that ordinary cops can’t do. Like I never stopped being the warrior I was trained to be.”

“Well thanks for your continuing service then, Matt.”

“Speakin’ of continuous service; how long have you been doin’ the whole “huntin’” thing?”

The question hit me like a brick. After a moment I was able to give an answer. “Since the mid 1980’s. I can’t pinpoint when exactly; lot has happened from that moment.”

“Should be me thanking you then. Been doin’ it longer than I’ve been alive it seems.”

“Yeah. Too long really. I’ve been eh - I want to stop. It’s just one of those things that take a while to just stop, right?”

“And it seems like that’s all you’re able to do, right?”

“That’s pretty much how it is.”

“Yeah... I feel you on that. Just -- I go at it, and I feel like I’m back over there.”

“Seen a doctor, a psychiatrist, about it yet?”

“Yeah yeah. Docs said it’s an obvious form of P.T.S.D. But it doesn’t change the facts of the situation. I go get some with these monsters and vile creatures, and when it feels like I’m back at it.”

I can sympathize with Matthew. In a way. I have occasional nightmares, featuring the faces of people and monsters I’ve had the unfortunate ties of knowing. Pirella used to tell me that I’d start panting and beating sweat like I was running a marathon, then I’d wake up in a panic. Some nights I’d wake up the kids with how loud I had screamed. Some nights I wouldn’t sleep just to avoid nightmares all together.

I need to be home soon.

…

Almost like a sudden wake up, I’m knocking at my front door. Words cannot describe the amount of joy I feel as my wife swings open the door, then her arms wrap around my neck, and my arms around her waist. She’s wearing my brown jacket. The kids see this, and they rush to join in the hug; Doc putting down his cellphone surprisingly.

Matthew takes his leave soon after. I paid him for his transportation service. It was a hundred dollars in cash, plus some more for the extra stops along the way. But the price to pay was worth every damn penny.

I’m willing to pay any price to be home again.

#takeenata

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