#if anyone knows where to find a good bi or pan split cake let me know

[toolazytodecide]

*Does one face painting gig

*immediately starts looking for pride flag palettes

[softyoongiionly]

⚡️with you, i just feel rich ⚡️

In a town that never stops raining, you and your neighbor Jimin cozy up at your place and find ways to cope with the bad weather.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: language, smut, Jimin (because, he's a warning all on his own)

A/N: I hope you guys like this one! Jimin makes me feel all kinds of feelings...godspeed

CRACK!

Jesus.  

That was a big one.  

It’s been raging for hours and hours now.

There really isn’t a sweater thick enough to combat the bitter cold that’s seeping in through the cracks in your walls.

You remind yourself to call the carpenter tomorrow; the splitting in the oak is getting worse every week.

How can you blame it though?  

The town you’ve spent your life in clearly pissed off an ancient god of some sort because; it hasn’t stopped storming for more than a week at a time in the last 50 years.  

Unyielding rain doesn’t exactly pair well with an old wooden house that was clearly built a decade before you were born.  

“Noodles??” You call over the crackling thunder, the house trembling around you.

You think you’d get used to it but, the thunder has always bothered you; even after all this time.  

“Noodles?”  

No response.

“I swear if you got out again, I’m returning the fancy feast! It will be dry kibble for the next two weeks…” You threaten, knowing full well that he can’t understand you.

Noodles, a fat orange tabby, is your bedtime companion. He usually does his own thing during the day which includes sleeping, staring, sulking and, searching for food. At night however, he nestles beside you, pressing his back side against your sleeping figure in attempt to find some warmth. Although, you’d like to think it’s because he actually likes you.

Your search for Noodles is interrupted by a knock at your front door. The sound is almost drowned out beneath the massive burst of thunder but, thankfully you catch a glimpse of it before your house shakes once again.

“Coming!”

The storm is getting worse; you can’t help but wonder why anyone would leave their home in this weather.

Upon opening the door, you are met with your neighbor; clad in a thick yellow rain coat and a pair of dark jeans.  He didn’t come empty handed either because, in his arms sits a soaking wet, grumpy looking Noodles who clings desperately to the yellow plastic on his arm.

“Oh my god, Jimin,” You stretch your voice above the noise of the storm, shaking your head as you reach out towards your pesky little feline, “I’m so sorry, did he get in through your window again?

Jimin chuckles, nodding in amusement, “I heard you calling for him and, figured I’d look around, I found him under my kitchen table.” He assists in handing Noodles over to you, shaking his wet hair out of his face as he does, “Don’t put the blame entirely on him, I think he smelled the steak I was cooking…”

Noodles settles into your arms, clinging onto you as another roll of thunder crackles in the sky.  

“You can’t just break into people’s houses every time you smell food, it’s not polite…” You chastise him, kissing the top of his damp head, “Thanks for bringing him home…again.”

Jimin giggles at your soured tone, adjusting his rain coat, seemingly unaffected by the monumental storm raging behind him, “No worries, I miss having animals in the house, Rosco would have loved this one...he’s feisty”  

You frown at his response. Jimin lost his pitbull Rosco roughly 6 months ago after 16 long years together. Rosco had a happy ending, Jimin and his father held a funeral for him in the back yard complete with flowers, cake and a big large bone to send him off.  

It's what Roscoe deserved.  

“Roscoe loved everyone, he was too good for this world,” You smile, eyeing the fluffy orange cat in your arms, “...far too good for this common criminal. Thank you again for bringing him home, I’ll make sure to tell Maggie to take a look at the window tomorrow.”  

Jimin nods, sending you a closed mouth smile, adjusting his raincoat once more. He goes to open his mouth but, sky interrupts with another angry clash of thunder. The brilliant blast of lightening follows soon after, signaling that isn’t far away.  

“I better head back, I don’t want to be out when that gets any closer. My dad will kill me if his dinner isn’t done...” Jimin chuckles but, there is a hint of bitterness to his statement.  

You nod, stepping back into the warmth of your house, allowing Noodles to scurry off into the living room.  

“We’re still on for Thursday right? My co-worker agreed to switch with me so I’m free after 3:30...”

It was a bi-weekly tradition; Jimin would come over on a Thursday evening; you would bake him and his father two different pies to feast on for the following two weeks and, he would bring you free wine from the local bar. The arrangement was a simple one but, for the last six months or so, you’ve been able to get wine drunk for free and, hone your baking skills. Plus, Jimin isn’t exactly hard to look at nor is he hard to converse with; in fact, the two of you had been shamelessly flirting for quite a while now...

Jimin looks hopeful as he pushes his blonde hair away from his face, the remains of a smile still on his lips.  

“Yeah of course; can you come over around six? I should be finishing up at the school around four but, I’ll need time to get the last pie in the oven...” You lean against your doorframe, trying to avoid staring at your handsome neighbor.  

“Six is great yeah, that will give me time to get dinner ready for my dad.” Jimin muses, adjusting his raincoat.

“Ah yes and, then you’ll be coming home with dessert for him later on; maybe you’ll finally win son of the year...”  

Jimin snorts, shaking his head at your comment, “Yeah, in my fucking dreams...”

You giggle, nodding to his house, “Get home safe ok? I’ll see you Thursday.”

He throws a smirk your way before conceding, turning to head down the stairs of your porch.

“See you Thursday.”

The storm has increased in ferocity and, if Jimin lived any further out, you would have insisted that he stay at your place until things let up.

Thankfully, his house is literally 30 feet from your porch but, you still eye him carefully, ensuring that he makes it through his front door.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The entirety of your small home smells of apples and cinnamon as the final pie bakes to a perfect crisp in the oven.  

You and Jimin had been sipping cheap cabernet for awhile now and, although there was plenty of space in your kitchen, the two of you decided to lounge on your couch instead.  

“Have you dated anyone since Cara?”

He tilts his head, looking unsure of his response, “I mean, I’ve hooked up since Cara but, things don’t really pan out after that. It’s probably for the best honestly, between school and my hours at the bar, I don’t really have a lot of time for a relationship.”

You nod, understanding how busy life can be, “I get you. I picked up a second shift at the school so, I tutor on the weekends now. My bills aren’t killing me as much but, the hours certainly are.”

“Do you still play the lottery?” Jimin smirks, a bit of fondness in his eyes

“Every week.” You giggle, nodding to the mountain of lottery tickets sitting on your side table, “I’m hoping since my odds of getting struck by lightning are so much higher than the average person, my odds of winning the lottery will also be higher.”

Jimin giggles at this, shaking his head at you, “That doesn’t make any sense…”

“Shhh_” You nudge his shin with your foot, giggling along with him, “Yes it does, just go with it.”

His laugh is adorable and, the way his eyes crinkle up with the sound is enough to make you melt.  

“Alright fine, what would you do if you won the lottery then?” He challenges, tilting his glass towards you.

Narrowing your eyes in thought, you go over the hundreds of ideas that have popped into your brain over many hours of contemplating this question.

“I’d pay off my student loans and, my car.” You begin, “I’d make sure my mom was taken care of and, the rest of my family and then, I’d buy an island in the Pacific Ocean…”

Jimin smiles, intrigued “Really? You’d live there all alone?”

“Well, I wouldn’t live there permanently, just during the winter months. Every other month, I’d live in my 17th century cottage in France where I’d master the art of making French desserts.”

The matter of fact way in which you state your plans has Jimin rolling, his wine sloshing around his glass as his twinkling laughter fills the room.  

“Don’t laugh at me!” You giggle, nudging his shin again, “I’ve thought about this a lot…”

“I can tell, you have quite the life planned for yourself Y/N. I think I’d be begging to join you in that cottage of yours. You can master French cuisine, I’ll attend some fancy ass French art school, it would work out perfectly…”

You scoff, “What makes you think I’d let you freeload in my cottage? You’d have to earn your keep Mr. Park…”

Jimin smirks at the name, “I’d be a good roommate. I’d do all the dishes, the laundry, the maintenance, I’d keep my shirt off too so, you know, you had something nice to look at…”

With that, you nudge his leg once more, giggling at his ludicrous plan, “Hmm I don’t think it’d be worth it. I clean around here just fine on my own…” You move to pull your foot off of his leg but, instead, his hand comes out to stop you.

With his fingers wrapped around your ankle, his hooded eyes flit up to yours, a lingering smirk still on his mouth, “Leave it…”

Your eyes narrow in confusion, “My foot?”

“Yeah,” He rasps, licking over his lips as he turns to put his wine on your side table, “You said they were hurting earlier right?”

A giggle comes from your mouth, as you wiggle your toes in his grip, “You’re really trying to get in on this cottage situation aren’t you?”

He moves so his knees are no longer bent and, your foot is resting comfortably his lap, “I’m just trying to show you what you’d gain if you took me in as your sugar baby…”

You guffaw at this, tugging your foot in his grip, “Oh so you’ve upgraded your request from roommate to my sugar baby?”

Jimin pinches your calf playfully, smoothing his hand over the top of your socked foot. You welcome the touch eagerly, not fully remembering the last time a man has touched you.  

“Tell me more about this cottage hm? What’s the interior like?” Jimin’s tone shifts slightly as he tucks his fingers into the black wool and, slowly begins to pull it from your foot.

“Hm…modern amenities, classical architecture; I’m a big fan of French construction…” You note, your voice lowering with the comfort Jimin’s hands were bringing you.

He’s slow and careful as he presses the pads of his thumbs into the arch of your foot, working out the tension there. “Is there a big kitchen then? Since you’re planning on mastering French desserts, you’ll need the space right?”

Immediately you nod, settling further into the plushness of your couch cushions, “Of course, complete with a brick oven and, two stand mixers…”

Jimin’s amusement grows as he continues kneading out the tenseness in your foot.  

“Would you have a garden? Fresh ingredients would make your food taste better.” He points out, his lips lingering in a smile.

“Mm…” You acknowledge, resting your head against the couch now, his touch paired with the wine, fogging up your motivation to speak full sentences; you want him to keep talking, “Definitely would need a garden; that can be part of your chores, tending to my plants…”

Jimin chuckles, admiring the way your toes wiggle in response to his touch.  

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?” He inquires, tilting his head in confusion.

“What would you do if you won the lottery?”

Jimin pats your other foot as he sets the one he was currently working on back in his lap.  

You hesitate for a moment but, quickly oblige, not wanting his attention on you to wane.  

“Ah well,” He slips off your sock, just as slowly as he did the first time before answering your question, “I’d get my dad out of this town, maybe into some fancy old folks resort in Florida or something,” He chuckles, sighing as he continues, “I’d finish school debt free and, probably try to open up my own studio in a nice city, maybe New York or Seoul…”

His voice is music to your ears and, in such strong contrast to the raging storm shaking your house. You wish he never stopped talking.

“I’d buy a condo too and, start collecting art, like the real thing, not just the shitty reprints I have now,” He elaborates, his eyes lit up with his own daydream.

“Who’s your favorite?”  

Jimin smiles as he starts massaging over your toes, keeping his touch as gentle as possible, “Degas. I’m sure you’ve heard of him. He’s the guy who painted ballerinas…”

You know exactly who he’s talking about, having taken several art history courses whilst in university.  

“Yeah of course, he’s a French artist right?”

“He is,” He points a finger at you, “So see? I’ll have to be in France sometimes so; I can study where Degas did; all the more reason to let me stay in your cottage.”  

A giggle is pulled from your throat and, “We may be able to work something out, I’ll definitely be expecting more foot rubs though.”

He smirks, “I can do that. Do they feel any better?”

A wiggle of your toes confirms your suspicions that Jimin did wonders on your tense muscles.

You can’t help but wonder how his hands would fair on the rest of your body.  

“So much better thank you…” You vow sincerely, “I think the last time I got a foot massage was two summers ago when I had my toes done for my cousins wedding.”

Jimin’s eyes narrow as your statement perplexes him, “What about your ex? He never gave you a foot rub?”

“No, definitely not,” You shake your head, tucking some hair behind your ear, “There really wasn’t a whole lot of touching in that relationship if I’m being honest…”

The wine and massage clearly leave you more willing to share the truth but, Jimin doesn’t seem to mind, taking the opportunity to learn more about you.

“Life in the bedroom went stale? Was that part of the problem?” He ventures but, he tries to keep his tone casual, hoping that his question doesn’t offend you.

A scoff leaves your lips, “If I’m being brutally honest, it was never fresh in the first place…”

“That’s something I know all too well,” He bristles, the wine clearly coating his tone, “Sex is always made out to be this passionate, jaw dropping experience and, you’re just expected to know what the other person likes and, how they feel. No one talks about it though. No one has that conversation, everyone is just aimlessly shifting around in the dark, hoping that their partner is enjoying themselves...or I don’t know, maybe that was just me...ha.” He’s not drunk but, he’s tipsy enough to start spilling his guts and, it’s got you wondering how deep this conversation is going to go.  

“Is that how it was with Cara?” You venture, leaning back on your sofa  

He smirks, eyes flitting over the perimeter of your coffee table, “It’s sad that my only long term relationship contributed to the worst sex I’ve ever had. I’m not blaming her either, not entirely, it was definitely mutual. We didn’t have any chemistry.”  

“At least the split was mutual too,” You offer, taking another sip of wine, “Break ups can be a disaster...”  

His head tilts to the side, conceding with you, “Yeah that’s true. By the time we decided to end things, half of my stuff was already back at my dad’s place.”  

“Do you ever hear from her?”  

Jimin nods, the blonde hair that’s framing his face bobbing along with his movements, “Every now and again, we’re still friendly towards each other. She called me last week to tell me she found a sketch pen of mine. It was one of my favorites so, she mailed it back to me. She’s a nice person but, the more I look back, the more I realize how unhappy I was with her.”  

You understand the feeling; it was very similar to your own failed relationship.  

“Hindsight is everything huh?” You raise your glass towards him and, he laughs, following your lead.  

“Here, here...”  

The two of you clink glasses, taking a long, slow gulp of your wine and, lean back against opposite ends of the couch.  

“I agree with you though, about sex. I think the worst part for me was always how mechanical everything could feel. Like, when someone is trying to get you off, you want to feel like they want to see you get off; like your pleasure turns them on...I never had that. I could never figure out why.”  

Your bare feet are braced against the cushions, toes wiggling into the fabric as the wine warms up your senses.  

Jimin chews on his lip, nodding in consideration, “I feel that. It was like that for me too. I always assumed it was me, like there was something wrong with what I was doing. She seemed really into what I gave her but, she wasn’t very eager to return the favor. I was too young to feel confident enough to press the issue…”

You don’t know his ex very well but, right now, you couldn’t relate to her at all. Jimin’s messy blonde hair, his cheeks rosied from the wine, his toned body tucked effortlessly into his sweater and, jeans; how could one possibly resist the chance to make him cum his brains out?

“I don’t think it was you,” You assure him, “I’m sure there were a lot of things that played into why it was so stale. I get why you’d feel that way though, I felt the same way when I was with my ex…”  

“His lack of foot massages could have told me that… ” He smirks, throwing back the rest of his Cabernet, the red liquid lingering on his lips as he pulls his glass away.

Tempting.

“You want to know something tragic?” You lean over and grab the bottle of wine off of the table, “We were together for 4 years and, I can count the times he ate me out, on one hand…”

Jimin’s eyes go wide, “Fuck off, you’re kidding me right? Did you ever say anything?”

He silently holds his glass out, and you pour a little more for the both of you. You didn’t know how long he would be here but, you didn’t want to risk either of you getting too drunk.  

“I mean, I did but, I guess it was similar to your situation. I felt like he didn’t really like doing it and, I’m not really turned on by the idea of my boyfriend giving head because he feels obligated to…”  

Jimin glances at the exposed skin of your inner thighs and decides that anyone who passes up the opportunity to bury their face between your legs, is likely insane.

“I can’t picture it, I’m sorry…” He chuckles, shaking his head, “I couldn’t imagine not wanting to eat pussy.”

Your cheeks heat but, it’s not out of embarrassment; Jimin’s lips looked really good curling around the word pussy. They look really good all the time though…

“When I asked him about it one time, he said,” You pause, to giggle at the memory, feeling ridiculous that you had bought into his bullshit, “‘I like feeling close to you babe and, when I’m down there, I don’t feel like we’re connecting emotionally.’ “

His eyes widen again as he splutters a laugh through his pursed lips, “Oh my god, what a fucking tool. That is the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard. I bet he had no issues with you sucking his dick though right? Was that close enough for him?”

You join in his laughter, nodding with the second question, “Ah yes that was pure intimacy. My throat was a one way ticket to my heart and soul.”

Jimin’s laughter grows, his head falling back as he leans into the back of your couch for support.

“I can’t believe I stayed with him for so long, he and I were so different…” You muse, as the laughter between the two of you dies down.

“You guys were high school sweethearts right? Maybe you stayed because it was comfortable.”

Your teeth have found a place on your lower lip as you nod in consideration of his words, “Yeah, that definitely played a part. It was also because everyone expected us to stay together you know? My mom loved him, my friends loved him and, I loved him too but, honestly? I don’t think I ever fell in love with him, not fully. I figured it was something I’d eventually get over or, something I’d fix but, it wasn’t on me. It wasn’t on him either. That’s why I ended things, we just weren’t right for each other.”

Jimin nods slowly, eyes scanning over you to ensure that you’re ok, “Did he feel the same, when you guys split?”  

You think back to the day you broke things off. Your ex didn’t really act surprise at your announcement; in fact, he seemed pretty relieved that he got out of having to breach the subject himself.

“I think so. He knew it was time; it had been time for a while. I started ‘falling asleep on the couch’” You quote the terms with your fingers, “and, he was going out with his friends like 5 times a week.  We ended things as friends and, I genuinely hope he’s doing well.”

Jimin offers up a sweet smile, impressed with your outlook on things. He felt a little bitter by the end of his relationship, although he has trouble admitting it.  

“He’s still a tool for not wanting to eat you out though; hopefully he’s learned the error of his ways…” He jests, taking another sip of wine, eyeing you as he does.

“I’m hoping for the sake of the next girl that he has.” You concede, smirking over the rim of your glass.

A bit of silence moves between the two of you and, Jimin spends that time in contemplation before he speaks again,  “Y/N, not to be too forward but,” Hooded eyes lock onto yours, in an incredulous deadpan, “the fact that he didn’t want to make you cum every chance he got is disturbing to me…”

Jimin’s words lick at your insides, stoking a fire deep in your belly but, you’re confused; why does he care so much?  

A smirk curves on the corners of your mouth, not wanting to show that his words affect you, “I could say the same thing about your girl Cara, I couldn’t imagine being with you and, not wanting to suck your dick.”

He splutters against his glass, checking 3 different times to make sure he just heard what he thinks he heard, “Excuse me?”  

A shrug of your shoulder pairs nicely with a nonchalant sip of wine, “What? I just repeated what you said...”

He shakes his head immediately and, upon noticing the darkness edging around his pupils, you feel a tightness growing between your legs.  

“Your response was a little more descriptive don’t you think?”  

While you’re thinking of another totally chill response, Jimin sets his wine glass on the coffee table. His tongue licks over his bottom lip before it’s tucked carefully between his teeth.

“Are you uncomfortable with my response Jimin?”

He smirks now, understanding what you’re playing at, “No, not in the way you’re thinking...”

You return his expression and, set your own glass down before the kitchen timer interrupts your lustful exchange. The heat on your cheeks is almost unbearable but, you can’t risk setting the smoke alarm off so, reluctantly, you nod toward the sound.

“That’s the pie...”

Jimin’s smirk hasn’t faltered, his puffy eyes alight with intrigue, “I figured...”

“I’ll be right back.”

He doesn’t give you the chance though because, not a full minute passes after you pull out the second apple pie before you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist.  

The breath that is due to exhale gets caught in your throat and, your hand comes up reflexively to grasp at the limbs currently encasing your hips. 

“It’s me...” Jimin’s melodic voice is at your ear, his breath causing goosebumps.

“Bummer, I was hoping it was my other hot neighbor.” You tease, nails gently raking across the top of Jimin’s hand.

He snickers, face firmly situated in the crook of your neck, “Sorry to disappoint you...”

His hands are getting braver now, sliding slowly under the hem of your sweater, forcing every hair on your body to stand at attention. Without permission, your body seems to betray you as it melts back into Jimin’s embrace; the woodsy notes of his cologne are making you dizzy and, you can feel the tightness between your legs intensifying. Quickly, before you collapse onto the floor, you turn around in Jimin’s arms only to be met with his lustful smile, his hair disheveled from being roughed up against your neck.

“I want a kiss...” He whispers immediately against your lips, nudging your nose as he does, “Can I have one?”  

A nod is all you can muster before leaning in and attaching your lips to his. Jimin kisses like the devil himself; slowly exploring your lips with gentle caresses of his tongue and teeth, his hands still tracing into the curves of you. He smirks into the kiss as he feels you press closer to him; he knows he’s good.  

“Your lips are so soft.” Jimin muses, eyes still closed, smirk still present as he slowly backs you into the counter, chuckling darkly as you gasp when the cold tile hits your exposed skin.

“So are yours...they’re big...” You whisper clumsily, your cheeks heating as you hear exactly what you just said, Jimin’s already snickering again, having beat you to your explanation. “You know what I mean...”

“I know what you mean jagi...don’t worry about it...” He rasps, allowing his ‘big’ lips to travel down your chin and into your neck, his saliva acting as another catalyst for goosebumps. He hums low in his throat as he kisses tenderly against the junction of your neck. “I want you by the way...in case you were wondering...”

His comment causes you to giggle but as he sucks your tender skin between his teeth, a moan catches on the end of it. The sound is enough to make his dick swell in his jeans, a groan rumbling deep in his chest.

“You think I could get you to make more of those noises for me?” He challenges playfully nipping into your skin again and, his hands gripping your hips tighter.

A slow smile comes over your lips as your eyes lull back in pleasure, “You can definitely try...”

Jimin likes that answer, he likes the challenge...

Moments later, bare of any clothing, Jimin takes time admiring your body using his lips, his hands, his words:

“I’ve never been this hard for someone in my entire life...you’re so fucking beautiful...so fucking soft...” The bite of his words are pairing with the bite of his teeth, which are currently digging into your hips whilst his eager hands smooth up your inner thighs. He pauses for a moment, lips still lingering against your skin before he looks up at you through hooded eyes, “As much as I want to hold these pretty hips down and eat you til you cry...”

He pauses when your eyes close as you take a deep breath at his words, another sinful giggle coming from his lips. He bites your hip again to get your attention, “...I’d rather have you crying on my dick instead.”

Whatever Jimin wants, Jimin-

“Oh my god...” You whimper into his neck as he expertly pumps his hips against yours, his toned back flexing under the grip of your nails. “Jimin...”

“She really wants me to cum doesn’t she? Saying my name all pretty and shit...does this dick feel good baby?” He chuckles into your ear, pressing a few haphazard kisses against the shell of your ear, his stomach churning from the amount of pleasure swirling in his gut.  

You nod, smiling darkly as you run your fingers through his hair, “So good...you’re going to make me cum...”

This eggs him on, he pushes into you deeper, harder, faster, his shaky breath puffing heavily into your neck, “Fucking cum for me then...”

The release you’re both chasing comes quickly, the pleasure warming you from the inside out. As Jimin gives his final thrust, he collapses on top of you, kissing your neck as the two of you come down.

Mind blowing, that’s the only word to describe him.  

“You deserve to win by the way, more than anyone I know...” Jimin whispers after moments of silence, his hands still roaming over your skin.

Warmth spreads from your head to your toes as you press a kiss to his cheek.  

He’s talking about the lottery...

“Still trying to sweet talk your way into my cottage?” You giggle and, he follows suit, kissing languidly across your chest.

“No,” He smirks up at you, sweaty blonde hair framing his face, “I think I found a better way to use my mouth...”

[dolce-fritz]

So being the new evil girlfriend is fun

So recently my Partner has had some majorly stupid ass drama with their ex. Like this girl, she’s loopier then the Olympic oval, Like normally I’m nice and don’t slander people but like. She’s just, hoo boy. A mess.

And yeah this is from a completely biased stand point. And I’m about to tell you why that I feel the way that I do about this girl from my own experiences. This is going to be long winded, so I’m putting it under a read more. 

So I moved from the lovely state of Utah this year, my homelifes never been 100% great. I love my mom but our issues clash and we do better separate. Not to mention I really wanted to try it out in another state again and this time the right way and not just a spur of the moment decision while i visited like what happened with Florida.

Well, planned my vacation to See my at the time friend to see if I really liked it there.  I knew about their recent split with their Ex, and the two seemed pretty amicable about it. The other roommate was.... hoo, a mess to say the least. and My friend didn't want to be alone with her because they actually had been wanting to tell her to leave because of the issues that she'd brought into the home. anyways that in itself was a bit of drama.

So I was like OK. I'll come check it out and if I like it I'll be your new room mate.

Well. I plan my trip about four weeks out. and end up pretty excited about it. Come to find out with no real surprise that My friends Ex is going to move out before Octobers over.

My friend starts panicking. again doesn't wanna be alone with the other roommate that they're having hardships with. So I say ok... I'm going to do this vacation, then im just going to move on the 20th so I can get my stuff packed.

Shits already starting to go down hill.

I get there. everything seems fine. The ex seems nice, things seem ok. the other roommates.... already trying to cause shit with me and im not even physically in the house. I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor in an old office space. bought a bunch of furniture because at this point. I know I'm moving here. Its going to happen. This is where I'm going to live might as well help my friend end up getting it taken care of.

Well. Day three of my vacation hits. The ex drops that her dad wants her to move out that day. completely screws the pooch for my friend and the other roommate. And basically bails on them and leaves the house just with the things she wants and then just leaves all the rest of her junk here like its her own storage unit. claims she’ll be back for the rest [ Spoilers never happened]  so that... right there puts this sour taste in my mouth. Cause yeah, me and her ex at that point are sharing a bed. Because like theres only three beds in the house until she ends up leaving and so my friends like ill just sleep with you. me i’m very fine sharing my sleeping space with my friends. i’ve done it literally all my life. hell a its not a goodnight sleep unless your on your best friends bed snuggling the shit out of her kaneki ken body pillow listening to true crime documentaries on the TV but like seriously it was no big deal to me. which im begining to wonder if it was a big deal to her. Either way apparently instead of waiting till i officially moved. she bailed and forced my hand. So I had to stay, I couldn’t properly say goodbye to my mom. couldn’t properly get my shit packed. all cause I really didn’t want to leave my friend alone till I could officially move in. So already, I started getting a slight distaste in my mouth for her. but I let it slide. I know how overbearing parents are sometimes.  well, so i cancelled my flights. money spent that i was never going to end up getting back that I could’ve later used towards something for the house.  The girl left. and I was left, Cleaning up the mess that she walked out of and left behind.  Turns out my friend was the only one that was cleaning up around the house. and working a part time job, while trying to side hustle some art for extra money.  They were the one that was handling all the utilities, while their ex was buying everyone food. Separate it would’ve been an easier task if it was just the two of them. but you add in the extra roommate that was only paying her share of rent and none of the food and utilities and shit starts piling up. Well.  sat down and looked at all the finances. found out that while yeah the Ex was making the most money. She didn’t bother to help out with any of the chores. I mean, they split the dish duty. And i’m sitting here wondering how long this pan of fish oils been on the stove for. had to buy new pans cause they were growing cultures.  Hell half her chores and the other roomates were doing the cat boxes. dude it was shit mountain in there. it was so bad the cats were going in the corner. Yet it was like my friend was expected to pick up after them and pick up their slack because they didn’t work as many hours as the other two. Which I’m sorry. if you can’t balance cleaning up after yourself. and working how the hell are you going to live on your own.  Well in comes me, the living off disability. [ which is not a glorious life] I have a lot of time on my hands. so first few days we douche out the house. things start looking good.  in comes the ex to get something and brings this utter douchebag of a man that boasts about him being the whole reason that they broke up. Which like when we were moving out the ex. the ex’s dads...girlfriend??? was like dont let them take advantage of you. which like made me pull up a shit ton of questionmarks. cause yeah i wasn’t going to let the other roommate do that cause i was kinda aware what her game was and it wasn’t playable with me.  everyone had their part to play in this household, and I wasn’t going to play mother for anyone. Well in comes this guy. boast about how he wont let anyone take advantage of her again and im like sure w/e dude. but like i started like... questioning wtf she was actually telling people that my friend actually did to her.  see, what i was told was that it was an intimacy issue. my friends pretty Asexual so like there wasn’t alot of physical involvement. and that things just weren’t going the way that their ex wanted them to. Turns out it was SOOOO much more then that. so curious me, got digging about this girl cause shit just wasnt really adding up.  and I started finding out things. At this time, friend started turning to partner. and eventually we started dating which made shit a lot more uncomfortable with me and this girl. cause yanno, new girlfriend. ex girlfriend. two things dont usually mesh well in situations like this.  Well so, started finding out that while in a relationship she was leading on a bunch of other guys, and at work would like do this whole “im bi” thing if the guy was cute. like she was very male centered for a “lesbian”  She was super horny on main during DND which made EVERYONE uncomfortable. to top it all off she was a narcissist, that had a victim that she could toy with.  She tried to convince my partners parents while they were still together, to talk to their child when there were behaviours that she didnt like. She tried to have an intervention with their friends to force them into transitioning FtM when they were happy just being nonbinary.  they would gaslight them, manipulate them, and  abuse them. I watched this girl in the span of three weeks tear my partner down with her words in front of me. and be nothing but venomous to them. for no other reason then they were actually happy.   While spining all these stories of how she was the one that was wronged.  Well, I started having enough of her coming around just so she could be mean to my partner. She’d come over. immediately go to our fridge to drink some of the booze she left and then pick at my partner for small insignificant things only because she wanted to fight. When i had enough of that. I told my partner, we’re going to DnD early. she can find her own ride.  She came to a family party, invited unknowingly by my partners brother that’s been over seas and in the military. She thought she was going to get a hookup complained she wasn’t having fun because he wasn’t paying attention to her. Snapped at my partners nephews because they wanted to play and made one of them cry. and was just toxic to be around.  That was strike two.  Strike three was watching how she conducted herself around our dnD group. she’d had this guy, mister “ i saved you from your bad relationship” on speed dial, and would tell him things. and then sit and shit talk him when she was bored with him to everyone. We were all sick of it.  The ending straw with me, was when we finally wanted to be done with this drama. told her three months before hand to get off the car insurance. and it wasn’t done. ended up causing a big thing.  She started saying that she’d leave the DND group to make things easier. because Thats what my partner would want. At this point i couldnt stand it any longer. Three months talking to everyone that physically knows her. and see’s what she’s becoming lead everyone to say the same thing about her She was turning into her mother.  No i know fuck all about that. i dont know her mother, i dont know anything about her. I know she’s on a shot that fucks with your brain and ends up messing with your body. I also was on the DEPO shot for three years of my life and its caused so many problems after i was off it.  and thats what i tried to impart to her my wisdom on.  therapy, and a depo shot.  now how we got there is really long winded, and highly dramatic.  id admitted to her our dnd group wanted to chat. she was pushy, respected no ones boundaries, and left our friends house a complete mess. just like she left ours... and god, she ended up pissing me off cause the girl left slippers caked in cat puke in my tub after staining my bathroom doing her hair dye. she disrespected my home, she disrespected out friends, and our friends home. and she was needlessly mean and cruel to everyone around her that didnt serve some purpose to her.  So yeah she had to go.  Here i am thinking that this is the end of it. but i get updates about how I’m apparently the worst abuser in the world just cause I told some spoiled brat of a woman to get off a shot that messes with the brain, and to seek therapy cause this girl needs help. Funny thing is im not the only one that said it. apprently just the loudest voice to have said it.  and this bitch still thinks i dont like her cause she’s not ‘ providing for us financially” We may not have a high roller life. but damn we’re doing just fucking fine.