#if anyone is uncomfortable by this lemme know and i'll either switch it back to mature or put a tw in the tags so ppl can blacklist it

[ckret2]

So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:

Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.

And then I overthought it for two months.

So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨

Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...

I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.

As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?

Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.

So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.

Which probably made for a jarring transition.

(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)

When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?

(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)

When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.

Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.

After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.

The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??

(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)

But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.

That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.

But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.

[indigochromatic]

oh this is neat, sure! alright, ask a long-ass question, get a long-ass answer ;)

How We Think Of Ourselves: I'll go with "something in between" for disordered/non-disordered, because, well, It's Complicated. Does our plurality feel disordered in and of itself? No. Do we have mental health problems that interact with our plurality? Oh yeah. Do we have DID/OSDD specifically? Honestly...nah? Probably? Unless we're using a definition of DID that includes any mental health problems + concurrent multiplicity.

Memory: our memory is generally pretty congruent with what we know of as being typical for ADHD. We make "careless mistakes" with forgetting appointments if we don't write them down, have trouble with monitoring the flow of time and estimating how long something will take us, and can easily miss what someone's saying to us if we're distracted at the same time. However, we don't (as far as we know) have big gaps in our memory, especially for childhood, and we don't tend to have memory mismatches between the two of us. It's common that it'll be *slightly* harder for one of us to recall memories from when the other was fronting, but it's more like "takes an extra second or two to remember" than "can't access it at all". For example, if I'm fronting on a Thursday, and someone asks "what's your week been like?", my mind might often immediately jump back all the way to Tuesday, when I last fronted, instead of Wednesday when L was out all day, and *then* after a moment "load in" her memories from Tuesday. It's like they're just one or two steps "further down the association chain", rather than inaccessible; so far, at least, we haven't encountered a significant case of one of us remembering something that the other can't access. Childhood memories are a bit harder/odder for me personally to access in lots of detail, since I wasn't around then, but L can easily tell you all kinds of shit from practically any age--names of her pre-K's pets? friend drama from 2nd grade? layout of her elementary school? Halloween costumes she wore? changing views of how she saw herself/her 'social niche' over the years? yeah, she's got it--I can remember her remembering it, if that makes sense--and I could get there if I tried (or if I get mentally handed the "childhood photo album" for conversational purposes, lol).

Switching: Oh man, there's so many potential ways to talk about this. Lemme see. First off, as far as I can tell, we have at least some experience with pretty much every "type" of switch that we've heard of, except for blackout amnesia switches and really physically painful ones (physically uncomfortable? sure, it's happened, but never really agonizing). Most of the time, our switches are "non-possession type", for anyone familiar with that terminology--e.g., it feels like our "mental 1rst-person POV" gets handed off mostly-concurrently with control of our body, so there's a feeling of...kind of like someone "hit the refresh button" on our perception/brain, and then the person doing the thinking and talking and moving and feeling isn't the same person as before. Sometimes those two things (mental POV vs body control) don't *quite* line up perfectly, and there will be periods of what feels like either "okay, it's me up here but I can't quite get our body to move yet", or alternately "weird, I feel slow and sleepy and like someone else is moving our body around/I'm speaking words out loud that are contradicting my thoughts" ("possession-type" switches), but for us, those very rarely last longer than seconds/minute or two. Our switches can also be: - fast (instant) or slow (hour+). The usual for us is probably 0.5-8 min. - "hard" (very obvious sense of self both before and after) or "soft" (more of a shift in "blurriness balance" than a strong, distinct switch) - intentional or unintentional - positively triggered (favorite songs, cocktail party effect, other specific positive triggers) or negatively triggered (flashbacks, fear of physical danger, getting "vacuumed forward" because the other one of us dissociated too hard suddenly--maybe I got a big hit of dysphoria, or L had a really long day and just couldn't keep her focus together anymore, etc) - pleasant or unpleasant (like, physically/psychologically--was it a good feeling or not especially? can be either, depending on the situation. we've had ones that feel gentle and intimate and comfy, and others that feel like getting dragged backwards through migrane-inducing mental molasses) - "front door" (both of us up at/near front in co-con, clear internal communication and often mental visualization of each other, and then switching over. often intentional but doesn't have to be, especially if we're partially co-fronting and something grabs one of our attentions) or "back door" (feels like the new fronter comes up "directly from the subconscious", with only vague, 'vibes' communication and little to no mental visualization) - subtle (well. as subtle as I ever get, which is not always...very subtle. but at least not *always* obvious to folks who don't know us well) or overt

We didn't know we could switch at first (we didn't think we "counted" as a system, so we didn't think to try it), but once we started really wondering about it, maybe 5 months into me showing up in our head "out of nowhere" it happened by accident--and, in hindsight, we think there might have also been some earlier instances of co-fronting/possible partial switches that we didn't realize at the time. Also, one thing we don't do very much, compared to a lot of systems we know, is rapid-switch: we tend to switch about once a day (overnight/in the mornings), sometimes going 2-3 days without switching but not more than 4 (literally--we haven't gone more than 4 days without switching in over 2 years), and only rarely switching 2-3+ times in the same day. We aim for approximately 50-50 fronting time between the two of us, although in practice it's probably more like 40-60, with L fronting slightly more.

(part 1 of more)

Seeking Personal Experience!

Hello lovely plurals, medians, multiples, and systems of all sorts! We’re a disordered DID system and an aspiring infographic maker. If you enjoyed our infographic on depersonalization vs. derealization, you’re in luck - because we want to make another infographic in the future!

For this infographic, we’d like to go over some of the differences between disordered and nondisordered plural experiences. We know this can be incredibly personal and vary from system to system, but having a baseline of what disordered plurality and nondisordered plurality could both look like may be useful for a lot of folks!

We have an idea of what nondisordered plurality could look like, but in order to remove some of the guesswork and gather a wider range of experiences than our own to draw on, we’d like to reach out for help!

If anyone would be willing to share some of what their experience is like (either as a disordered system, a nondisordered system, or a partially disordered system), we would be super grateful!! You can share your experiences in one of a few ways:

Reblog this post with your response

Comment on this post with your response

Share your response via an ask (make sure to specify it’s for the infographic!)

Share your response via DM (you can shoot us a message here!)

Info we are looking for:

We are breaking the infographic into these sections (which are subject to change) and would appreciate info from as many categories as you’d like!

Fronting

Switching

Memory

Dissociation

Communication

Conflict

In your response you are more than welcome to recommend more categories! You can also share experiences that don’t fit neatly into the above categories.

Any and all systems are encouraged to share their experiences!! What makes your system disordered? What makes it nondisordered? Why do you personally consider your system disordered, nondisordered, or something in between? We’d appreciate any information you have to offer!

Thanks so much everyone! Once we’ve gotten enough feedback, we’ll put the infographic together.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hi ! Wait wait wait, in one post you said the fandom had been speculating for years zayn is into bdsm. Whyyy do we think that! Im freaking out over here

hey nonnie! check out my hanky code tag and ziam kinks tag for more conclusive evidence but basically there's a ton of things they've both done over the years to hint at the fact that they are very much into bdsm & just generally all-around kinky ass shit lol, most notably of which was their continued use of the hanky code (an old signaling tactic used by queer men to let other queer men know what they were into/up for, particularly in the loud atmosphere of gay bars where it wasn't as easy to have long convos or ask q's about kinks/preferences, etc. but also a helpful way of engaging in both sexual signaling and/or nonsexual solidarity signaling in public non-queer spaces as well)

there's been a lot of debate in the past about whether it was simply just a fashion choice or they genuinely knew what they were doing, but if you have the time to go through at least some of the posts in those tags you'll find evidence of very specific reactions that make it pretty hard to argue that they didn't know exactly what the fuck they were doing or saying about themselves and what it meant lol

to sum up not so briefly though, through their combined use of the hanky code, notable comments made in interviews, common themes hinted at in songs, and just generally wild shit they inexplicably did in public in front of thousands of people lol, essentially these kinky ass hoes men have blatantly hinted at having/being into: nipple play, whipping/spanking kink, pain kink, rough sex (zayn's songsss i mean need i say more??), marking kink (biting & scratching especially, but also the occasional hints of bruising lol), fisting/fingering, s&m, and dom/sub roleplay just to name a few lol! (some people ascribe a blindfolding kink to them as well b/c of that iconic moment from 1d day, but even though it was v. cute i firmly maintain speculation on that remains inconclusive given that it wasn't their idea and not anything i think they ever freely advertised on their own as being into like all the other stuff)

but basically ziam be like

and we be like lol we see u boo 😏

on a related side note - if you're curious, you can also read up on a more detailed history of the hanky code here!

(also in case tumblr decides to stupidly update/change their link format again out of fucking nowhere and the above tag links stop working just go ahead and click them from the tags section below)