#if anyone ever feels that way about me i apologize

[atzloverr]

Bite me - Vampire bf!Seonghwa x reader

part 2

warnings: nsfw, vampire themes, period sex, blood drinking, smut, afab!reader, Seonghwa is pussy drunk again lol

Seonghwa woke up to the sound of his own growls, his breath hitching as he drew his own blood by clenching his fist so hard. His eyes darted around the room, trying to find the culprit for this feeling that could only be described as need. Either that or just hunger.

This type of hunger would only ever haunt him if he hadn’t fed for a long period of time, but ever since he had your blood, he had started drinking again, so it didn’t make sense.

The only thoughts on his mind were those of you. He couldn’t tell you why, but this hunger was linked to you in some unspeakable way. He inhaled deeply and had to hold back a moan at the intense smell invading his nostrils.

Your boyfriend’s eyes flew over to your sleeping form. You were stirring in your sleep uncomfortably, probably being slowly awoken by the man next to you squirming around in panic. But that wasn’t the only thing making your face contort in discomfort.

You were in pain.

Seonghwa’s breaths were soon growly and deep, something that would scare the shit out of anyone else. It was a primal strategy to keep other predators away.

Your eyes opened slowly, and you immediately sensed that something was off.

“My love,” your soft voice sounded out, snapping Seonghwa out of his trance-like state. His eyes met yours, and you saw them shift in a beautiful shade of red.

“What’s going on?” you asked, sitting down in front of him. Your hand met his, and you noticed the way he shivered.

Your boyfriend didn’t answer, but instead buried his head in your neck, inhaling deeply. You couldn’t help but tense up at the sensation.

It had only been a week since you practically force-fed him your blood, so your wound was not completely healed yet.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Seonghwa admitted, small droplets of water forming in his eyes. His feelings of panic had quickly gotten dulled by your soothing presence. His instincts told him that you were his mate, and that you needed to be protected, no matter what. He had no idea why this feeling came to him so suddenly.

You glanced at the clock on the wall. It was five in the morning. You sighed and helped Seonghwa lie down next to you. He kept his head in the crook of your neck, with his arms wrapped tightly around you.

Suddenly, a small whimper of pain left your lips. Seonghwa immediately backed away from you slightly, meeting your gaze as your body curled up on itself.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, putting a hand on your stomach. “I’m on my period.”

Seonghwa blinked.

You didn’t miss the way he started thinking deeply, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink in the process.

“What?” you asked anxiously.

“Darling,” Seonghwa started. You tilted your head. “I think I know why I’m like this.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

You were now lying down, with Seonghwa sitting on the bed a little too far away from you for your liking, but he insisted it was for the best.

“So what you’re saying is…” you began, slowly putting the pieces together. “Since you’ve tasted my blood once, the ‘blood of your mate’… your instincts have formed a connection to my blood, which makes it harder for you to resist it?” you questioned, your head almost aching from the confusion.

Seonghwa had tried his best to explain what he thought was going on, but his constant thirst for your blood made it extremely hard to focus. He decided to just hold his breath to his best ability.

“Yes, that’s it,” he affirmed. When he found out about your cramps, your boyfriend had immediately ran to give you a heat pad to put on your stomach. He insisted he would cuddle you, if it weren’t for his instincts constantly telling him to drain you dry.

“And what do you suppose we do about that? Are you going to leave me alone until my period has ended?” you proposed, trying your best to ignore the cramps attacking you ever so often.

“Oh no no no, hell no!” Seonghwa shook his head in disagreement. “That would probably make my instincts even worse,” he explained. “Leaving you alone, bleeding and in pain, would be the worst thing,” he told you. “Besides, I would never let you go through this without my help baby.”

You shrugged him off slightly. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” you tried, but you knew he wasn’t playing. “Don’t give me that.”

“Okay so, what do you propose then? I can’t have you holding your breath around me like this,” you begged.

Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows in thought, when you suddenly got an idea. You were about to say it, but immediately stopped yourself.

“What?” Seonghwa asked. Your eyes widened slightly. “What?” you echoed. “You were about to say something?” Seonghwa insisted. Damn that man and his attention to detail.

“Oh no, it was nothing,” you tried to shrug it off, but you only earned a disappointed sigh. You knew he wouldn’t give up until you told him.

“Okay, I just thought that…” you started, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “M-maybe you could..,” you swallowed. Seonghwa gave you that big eyed look he knew made you weak.

“Maybeyoucoulddrinkfrommeagain…”

“What did you say?” Seonghwa almost coughed out in shock. You nervously played with the hem of your sweater. “You know what I said! I know you have excellent hearing!”

Seonghwa looked down at the mattress in disbelief. “You want me to drink from you again? Seriously?” he asked. You suddenly felt a wave of shame wash over you.

“I mean, if you don’t want to you don’t have to—“

“Of course I want to!” he looked you deep in the eye. You were shocked at his sudden admission. “But don’t you remember last time?”

Your head lowered. “I was so scared, my love. I was scared for your life! I can’t put you through that again! And I- I don’t think I can even go through that again…” His voice was laced with shame and fear.

“You had been starving for weeks,” you argued.

“You fainted.”

“You won’t lose control like that again.”

“How do you know that?”

You swallowed before Seonghwa opened his mouth again.

“I can’t bite you again. I won’t do it.”

You suddenly felt a lightbulb appear in your head.

“Who says you have to bite me?”

…

“What?”

“Well, I’m already bleeding, aren’t I?” you explained. “Can’t you just… you know…” you suddenly felt the shyness take over you once again.

Seonghwa felt his instincts screaming at him. Do it, now! While simultaneously feeling the bulge in his pants already starting to grow. With him having started to feed again, his energy levels had risen like never before. That included his sexual energy.

You noticed the way his breath got caught in his throat, but felt satisfied to not earn that immediate ‘no’ you were expecting.

Seonghwa swallowed.

“On one condition.”

You felt yourself already become satisfied with his answer, liking that you had convinced him to let himself feed when he needed it.

“Alright, what is it?” you asked. “You have to take the silver knife.”

Your eyes widened in shock, but just as you were about to shake your head no, you thought about it for a second.

“What do you want me to do with it?” you tested, squinting your eyes in suspicion. Seonghwa let out a hearty laugh at your cute expression. “If you notice that I’m starting to lose control in any way, don’t hesitate to use it on me.”

The silver knife was the only weapon able to make a vampire weak, able to sever its life. You were shocked to see that Seonghwa had one in his possession, seeing as the silver handle made his skin burn at the lightest touch. He told you that it was only right for a vampire with a human lover to own one. He knew that if he wanted to make the relationship fair, he needed to let you hold this power over him as well.

The power to kill.

You considered his request. You yourself were convinced that he wouldn’t lose control, and as hard at it would be to use the knife in that situation, you were determined, and would be able to handle it.

“Okay, deal.”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

You heard the loud slurping, growling and moaning from under the sheets, the towel under your getting wrinkled by Seonghwa’s hands harshly gripping them. You couldn’t stop a whimper from escaping you as your boyfriend’s long tongue finding your entrance.

When you had agreed to Seonghwa’s conditions, it was like something came over him, and suddenly he only had one goal. To get in between your legs.

At an inhuman speed, he got a towel to place under your pelvis, as well as the silver knife, wrapped in a blue cloth.

He placed the blue cloth beside you, without even uttering a single word, and you felt shy when he ripped off your pants, leaving you in only your panties and a tank top.

“Do you have a tampon in?” he asked, his voice sounding foreign to you. Deeper. Richer.

“I- No,” you answered, squirming slightly. You had never done this when on your period, and even though you came up with the idea, you weren’t sure how this would feel.

But here you were, with a pussy drunk vampire treating you like his last meal. You couldn’t help but tremble at the overstimulation, having already orgasmed multiple times without a break, but alas, you really wanted Seonghwa to feel good.

You could tell how much he enjoyed it, his eyes rolled back in bliss, while he moaned loudly. You felt his sharp fangs graze you, and couldn’t help but gasp and retreat slightly. As much as you were keen with this, you weren’t sure you wanted him to bite you down there.

“Hwa—“ you whimpered out, moving his head up slightly. He almost hissed at you, his eyes red and wide with anger. You couldn’t help but gasp in fear, causing his eyes to immediately turn apologetic and sad.

“No, I- I’m sorry baby,” he breathed out, trying to gather his words. You smiled, seeing that he was still himself.

His face was covered in your blood, his tongue licking the red liquid coating his lips. “I swear I won’t hurt you, do you want me to stop?” he asked, clearly still struggling to speak, his instincts probably still screaming at him.

“No Y- you can keep going…” you admitted shamefully. You had to admit it felt kind of good to be distracted from your cramps, and you wanted to make sure Seonghwa could feel normal again.

Your boyfriend hummed in agreement, slowly lowering his head back to your heat, still giving you a chance to change your mind.

A deep moan escaped him as he felt your taste once again, more blood having flown out of you in this short period of time. He slowly lapped his tongue up and down, making sure to be gentle this time, not even wanting to think about getting carried away.

And so he kept licking you slowly for hours on end, keeping your hand in his and constantly checking up on you. He was satisfied to see you getting sleepy, considering he woke you up in the early morning. He knew you needed sleep, so when he heard your heartbeat slow down as your breathing changed, he retracted from you, getting up to dress you again.

His instincts had now calmed down, and he could think more rationally. He wrapped the silver knife in the cloth, being careful not to touch it. As he came back to your sleeping form, he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around you.

Words couldn’t describe his love for you. You were so patient. So understanding. He felt a smile coat his lips as you snuggled into him in your sleep.

“My beautiful girl.”

heyyy idk what this is really, but since many people liked the last one I decided to make a little sequence lollll. Hope you enjoyed! Requests are open!

[moyazaika]

could you imagine a rapper yandere that disses anyone that even MENTIONS their darling/"girlfriend" is a way that isn't worshipping. and he disses hard.

When I say "girlfriend" I mean, the rapper knows the name, address, occupation, phone number, email, etc, has a shrine full of photos that he hired people to take over someone that doesn't know anything about it.

reader is just another person who listens to music and knows his name in passing and his reputation for dissing anyone who talks "bad" about his girl. reader respects it, but doesn't really listen to rap so they move on with their life, completely unaware that THEY are the girl.

it's a complete coincidence that the features and traits that he raps about are the exact same as them. There are plenty of people with that trait.

and no one bats an eye that no photos of the "girlfriend" exists to the public. It's no surprise someone with his level of fame would want to keep their girl private.

"I saw you yesterday at your grandma's, it's a real shame what happened to your grandpops, I need some new fertilizer in my garden, been growing some bad crops, your girl Morgan so bad you're getting blowjobs from your grandma?"

*camera noises*

(I'm not a rapper, apologies for ✨cringe✨)

hey so please don’t apologise i actually fucking love this idea. 😭😭❤️‍🩹 this would be so so cute bonus points for being set in the early 2000’s so we’re in that era of pop and rap where it’s rlly just a few big names dominating the charts, the fun awards shows, cool fashion; y2k baby!

and in this new age of music you’ve got this chart topping rapper who (unlike the other guys in his genre) seems to be rapping not about his opps or his cars or his cash or his bitches but… how much he loves his gf. it’s incredibly endearing.

if only his gf actually knew she was dating him!

and when he stays on top of those charts, wins all those music awards; there’s bound to be jealousy and bitter envy. other artists complain. celebrity interviewers and journalists eat it up; “so what do you think of this mystery girl that seems to be the subject of all his music?”

his competitor rolls his eyes, “dumb as fuck, the both of them. always banging on about how lovely she is how pretty and smart she is… this bitch is a one hit wonder, you feel me?”

… he did not like that. drake vs kanye 2.0 ensues except this time there is no coming back for the poor soul who has the balls to say that. rapper ‘bf’ puts the poor guy’s life on blast.

‘industry plant? least i’m not a plant by the government / makin’ sure them anti bullying campaigns is working.”

okay, that’s not so bad right?

“your funny’s up, but your syndrome’s down, like your money after i put this out—but your dick stays up / when you drive ‘round and look for little boys to spend a night with in town.”

oh! well. looks like nobody’s going to mention this mysterious girl rapper bf adores so much ever again :’)

[kick-a-long]

i find it so desperately sad that goyim generally would be so much less antisemitic if jews started physically fighting back with guns or sticks in every country. calling for the murder of muslims all over the world, if the jewish population was big enough to have large scary groups of crazy fringe fundamentalist synagogues all over the world, a billion strong, that preached murder and hate so goyim could look down on jews like some noble savage in need of assistance and western education and protection. so we could be reformed in obvious patronizing ways because there were so many of us that we had militant violent fringe extremists, like christians and muslims have, mixed in with the normal jews.

if jews didn't have such a reputation for success and intelligence maybe conspiracy theories would stop blaming us for controlling the world. if we felt less in danger maybe we wouldn't be so obsessed with long term survival.

is antisemitism some warped form of envy? maybe. what sucks is that jews are no better or worse than anyone else. some jews are brutes and some are the most wonderful people imaginable, just like any other group. what sucks is we don't all live up to the reputation of tactical geniuses and wizards with mind control magic. all of us jews are just tired and abused humans who have lived with 2000+ years of generational trauma and the endless fall out from a popular jewish book written 3000+ years ago describing the best practices of jewish culture. It has some great stories, histories, life advice, diet recommendations, hygiene, and rules about how to treat others.

is that such a crime?

trying to show a path forward? not demanding anyone else follow those rules but wanting to do our best to follow them anyway? how to live a good life that makes the world better and makes you proud to have been on earth for the time you were there? jews fail to do this all the time, just like everyone else. I fail all the time. why are people so obsessed with that? people say shylock is a stereotyped antisemitic character but,

"I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge! The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction."

so why do jews always have to be the better man? why do we have to apologize for being angry and sad and hating the people that attack us? that was written by Shakespeare, a christian in the 1600s who often was in debt to jewish money lenders, the only profession left to jews at that time. even he saw the double standard. it makes a good point.

now, i don't want vengeance, i don't want violence, but i feel vengeful. i feel angry that i am unsafe because of play actors and terrorist supporters who want revenge for jews existing but scream bloody murder when jews refuse to dig their own graves, beg forgiveness for ever being born, and lay down in them to be mocked and pissed on and abused in the worst ways imaginable for the entertainment and conquest of it. i want peace with them. they are as human as i am, full of foibles and anger. i want nothing to do with them. i want them to never come near a jew again for the rest of time.

i am sad. all i want is to feel my feelings and advocate for what is the most ethical and practical work around to a world filled with unending suffering while i am still alive. i want them on thier side to live in the world they want and me on my side to live in the world i want. why don't these children of all ages, lost in delusions of fantastical battles and ultimate good and evil, see that? why can't I be a human first as well as a jew first? why do they ask me to pick? why am i not allowed to pick?

it's been almost a year. we're all so tired.

I'm going to a music festival. I'm trying to decide whether to wear a star. why is it dangerous to wear a star around my neck?

[reallychaoticwoo]

Hi, babe!!!! I just accidentally hit my head really hard and I need some comfort. So could you please write something for a non idol! Reader with some kind of injury? I’m feeling better now, but I still need something to get me going. Love you💕💕

⛓️Hello babes! So this may have been slightly self-indulgent as your girl is in SERIOUS need of some physical affection lol but i do really hope you enjoy it!⛓️

✨️Peace of mind✨️

❤️Pairing: San x reader

⚠️Warnings: cussing, some suggestiveness🖤

This is truly a fluff fest, and I am absolutely NOT sorry.

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idol in any way‼️

🖤This was not proofread, so I apologize for any typos or weird mistakes 😅 Hope you enjoy!🖤

You didn't plan on injuring yourself today, I mean, does anyone ever really plan on it? You'd been rushing to get your things together, eager to head home and get out of your uncomfortable office attire. Bending down to grab your laptop bag and purse your head collided with the corner of your desk. Your vision blacking out for a quick moment and a sharp pain shooting through your head, you let out a groan. "Fuck.." Your hand finding it's way to your forehead to apply pressure to the aching area. Sitting back in your chair hand still holding your head you heard a knock at the door. "Come in." San opened the door, leaning himself against the frame. "Hey I was just coming to see if you.... shit, are you okay?" The casual stance he had disappeared as he made his way to your desk. Pulling your hand away from your head his eyes widened. "You're bleeding y/n. What happened?" Concern written all over his face, he headed to bookshelf in the corner of your office where the first aid kit was. "I'm okay.." You started looking at your blood covered hand that had been resting on your head. "I was just trying to pack up and I hit my head on the desk when I went to grab my bags." He let out a small chuckle, internally scolding himself for laughing at your clumsiness. "Yup, that sounds like something you'd do." He sat on your desk facing you, pulling your hand into his to wipe away the blood with a small antibacterial wipe he'd gotten from your first aid kit. "So what were you coming in to ask me before you stopped to play nurse?" You asked, nuding his knee with your free hand, a cute little smirk resting on your face.

The two of you had a bit of a back and forth going at the office. Passing flirty winks back and forth in the hallways, randomly showing up at each other's offices with any and every excuse in the book as to why. Neither of you had actually made a move to further things, though. Part of you wondered why, but another part of you figured it was because the both of you knew dating in the workplace, you get really messy really quick. Either way, you always caught yourself wishing things could be more.

"Well, I was going to see if you had plans tonight. But considering you just tried to put yourself into a coma, I don't think now would be the best time for a date." As if it was the most casual sentence in the world, he leaned forward to wipe the blood from your forehead and face, with nothing but a concentrated look painting his own. "I wouldn't say no if you asked." You looked up at him, a glimer of relief and excitement passing through your wide eyes. He chuckled knowingly. "Oh, I know. Don't think I haven't been wanting to ask you out for a while now. I just didn't want things to get weird if I did, but I think it's pretty obvious we'd both like to see where this could go." You giggled at the truth he just admitted so bluntly. There was no arguing that you were dying to see what things would be like if you both just allowed yourselves to be honest with your emotions towards each other.

"So, how about instead of going out like I was originally planning, we stay in and you let me take care of you and that injured little head of yours?" Playfully nudging your chin with his thumb, he looked at you with warmth in his eyes and a shinning smile spreading across his lower face. You couldn't help but return the cheesy grin up in his direction. "That sounds even better, honestly. No loud noises or bright lights. And most importantly, no feeling the need to wear uncomfortable clothes to look pretty." He tsked, a fake pout spread across his features. "You wouldn't want to dress up and go on a nice date with me??" He crossed him, arms feigning disappointment. "Right now? No. I want nothing more than some comfy sweats and to get out of these harsh lights." Your head really was throbbing. As much as his banter improved your mood, your eyes had been squinted the whole time, and you were ready to go anywhere that was quite and dimly lit. His muffled laughter catching your attention, he offered you his hand to help you up. He made sure to grab your bags so you wouldn't have to bend down again and risk another blow to your already aching head. "Okay, okay, princess, my place work for you? I've got plenty of comfy sweats, you can pick whichever ones you want." Walking out of your office, your face resembled that of a high school girl getting a text from her crush. You were smiling, blushing, internally screaming, and giggling. I mean, who wouldn't feel that way when the hottest man to ever grace this planet was taking you home to comfort you and make sure you still got a little date out of it. Honestly, the fact you knew without a doubt he'd have no expectations from you made you weak in the knees. Just a genuinely caring man who wants to make sure you are feeling okay because you hit your head. You weren't sure the exact moment the gods started blessing you, but you were mentally thanking them the entire walk to his car.

The car ride was rather nice. His hand resting on your thigh, the two of you talking about everything and nothing. When you finally reached his house, he quickly opened your door, offering you his hand to help you to your feet. Outside his house was simple but beautiful. He had a wrap around porch with a black metal bench swing, stringed light bulbs lining the edge of the covering, and a sitting area with two large wicker chairs and a small table. His yard was well maintained with beautiful flowers and greenery placed perfectly throughout. You were admiring the simplicity and homey feel as he ushered you up the front steps and through his front door. The inside of his home was equally as inviting, sleek, and modern, with carefully placed decor, highlighting the various spacious rooms. Gesturing you to follow him, the two of you moved to his living room. "Make yourself at home. I'm gonna go grab you some headache meds and water really quick. I'll be right back." You smiled in his direction, nodding at him in a silent thank you. Sitting on the couch, you took a look around the living room. A large marble fireplace in front of you with a large TV mounted to the wall above it. The mantle was decorated with a few vining plants and pictures of who you assumed were his brothers or really close friends. You smiled to yourself at how many goofy and well taken photos he'd proudly displayed. He quickly made his way back to the living room with meds and water in hand. "Here, take these. I'm going to go change really quick, and then you can pick out your pj's for the night." With a warm smile and a gentle kiss to the forehead, he made his way down the hall and to his room.

It was only a few minutes before San was back by your side. "Alright, gorgeous, let's get you into some comfier clothes." He bent down, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to his bedroom before sitting you gently on his bed. Opening his closet, he motioned his hand to the large selection of sweats as if to say 'take your pick'. Your eyes lit up at the grandiose selection, a delighted smile on your face. Picking out a plain black set, he brought the clothing to the bed and laid it down next to you neatly. "You can change in here. I'll wait in the living room. You have any movie requests? I can order some pizza, if that sounds good to you." You chuckled at how considerate he was. If you were being honest you'd expected him to be a total fuck boy. The flirting at the office and his perfectly styled appearance just screamed 'I'll take your chick and fuck her in front of you'. Yet, even if there was some truth to that, he was actually turning out to be a real gentleman. "You pick the movie, I can never make a decision and my head hurts too much to even try right now. And pizza sounds great, thank you." With a quick nod, he was leaving the room to let you change. Alone in his room, sitting on his bed, you felt a sense of home. His bed was plush and comfortable. You had to fight yourself to get up and change, deciding it'd probably be off putting if he found you curled up under his sheets fast asleep when you never came back.

Walking back you to the living room, you stopped at the entryway, smiling to yourself at the sight before you. San had set up the perfect at home date night. A makeshift pallet full of blankets on the floor, several pillows leaning against the couch, candles flickering on the mantle and end tables. Pizza was sitting on the coffee table, which was pushed off to the side, sitting next to one of the end tables. He'd turned the lights off to make sure the brightness wouldn't cause your headache to worsen and had a movie already pulled up and ready. Thanking the gods for the nth time today, you walked into the living room, taking your place beside San. Handing you your plate, he pressed play on the movie before grabbing his own plate. Both eating now, you looked to the screen, a familiar movie playing. A movie you'd watched many times, usually when you were alone and sad, sobbing into your pillow at the when you heard the line "if you're a bird, I'm a bird." You should've guessed by this point he'd be the type of guy to enjoy romantic movies. What you didn't guess was that he picked this movie so he could see how you reacted. He wanted to see what made you laugh, what made you cry, and what made your eyes shine with want. He wanted to get to know you better and more than just small talk and casual flirting.

Finishing your food, he took your plates and set them on the coffee table. He put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, placing an attentive kiss to the top of your head. Leaning into his touch, resting your head on his shoulder, a content smile grew across your face. Although your headache seemed to be dissipating, the events of the day seemed to be catching up with you. Your eyelids growing heavier by the second. Noticing how your body seemed to grow more relaxed, San wrapped his arms around you and carefully moved the two of into a laying position. In the half awake/ half asleep haze, you softly muttered, "This is perfect. Thank you, Sannie." Your eyes never opening, you nuzzled further into him, your head now rest on his chest, your leg laid across his thighs. The soft touch of his fingers running through your hair and the steady beating of his heart lulling you into the most traquil night of sleep you've had in years. A soft kiss to your forehead and then to the top of your head, San allowed himself to succumb to his own tiredness, truly at ease with you in his arms.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

a

Yesterday i got the craziest message out of the blue .. My ex bf from 2011-2013's other ex gf who he was with before me hit me up to say that he got arrested?? And that her and like 5 other people are pressing charges against him for assault spanning across all different periods of time.. it's really wild idk how to feel. She said if i feel comfortable i can give my own testimony for when they go to court , even tho i dont live in england anymore.. Im like yeah honestly i will because like this dude is so unrelentingly violent and scary he legit almost killed me it was so extreme, i've known a lot of corrupt ppl but he is the only one i've always thought needs to be locked away from society like it's a murder scene waiting to happen not to mention he is just a straightup rapist

it's crazy too cus like 4 or 5 nights ago i had a dream that me and him and the girl who messaged me were all watching videos of ourselves in that time period like i even posted about it on here. i thought it was just a typical trauma processing dream not an actual premonition of something i would have to revisit irl

She said something about how she'd been looking back in her old fb messages with him to help paint a picture of the timeline so out of morbid curiosity today i checked to see if i still had ours. Sure enough i do, i've never looked at them retroactively before, but holy shit like... He is so much more of a monster than i even remembered, i dont get triggered easily anymore but it genuinely hurt my heart to see how horrible he was. Every conversation is just him snapping at me because i didnt respond to him fast enough or something so minor, and the whole time im just trying to apologize and de-escalate but it makes him more and more furious. the day before i was about to fly to london to move back in with him he was threatening to kill himself because i was going to my friends house to say bye to them. He was like "You're going to a party i just know it you're lying to me you'd never tell me you're really going to a party because you know i'm suicidal you've ruined my night you're a piece of shit" Like this was the NIGHT before i was about to leave everything behind just for him

i'm like rly shocked at everything i saw in that convo today im not even scratching the surface with this post. Anyways i guess it's cool that there is some justice happening right now and the people who survived him have been able to band together to try and ensure he can't hurt anyone else in the future. i rly wish none of us ever had to go thru any of that tho ugh i was so young i just really had no idea and it fucked me up for many many years afterwards. ive come a long way tho .

ill probly delete later cus idk who lurks this blog. i prefer not to show weakness :K But yeah.. just wanted to express this crazy unexpected life event and get it off my chest while its fresh

Peace and love !!!

[talesfromawannabejournalist]

Venting

@kittenfangirl20

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

@yurnu

@lilacwriter07

@fanofstuff01

Sorry if this might seem like me bitching but I've really needed to bitch lately. I keep thinking about these two fanfics I stopped reading a while ago, it claimed it was adamsapple but all it really is is that Lilith is written like a bitching cunt and yet the authors claim that she is a fucking victim because Adam didn't know how to react when he found out his wife CHEATED on him!!! UGH and then they make Lucifer a fucking dick asshole to Adam EVEN AFTER ALL THE FUCKING SHIT HE DID TO HIM IN THE PAST!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH and then after one fake ass apology all is well and good and apparently, Lucifer is a fucking victim, and we should get on our knees and pray to them like fucking gods even though they fucking allowed sin to enter to the world even though I'm sure they were told numerous times NOT to do it and that there would be DIRE.FUCKING.CONSEQUENCES

Then there is this one person who I feel bad for even getting mad at! Because they seem like they're going through a lot, and they seem like a nice person in real life it's just UGH I HATE HOW THEY FAVOR LILITH!!!!! AFTER EVERYTHING SHE'S DONE AFTER EVER FUCKING THING HOW CAN ANYONE LIKE HER!!!!

OHOHOHO AND THAT'S NOT EVEN MENTIONING THIS ONE LILITH LOVER ON YOUTUBE WHO LITERALLY SINGS LILITH'S PRAISES I AINT GONNA SAY THEIR NAME BUT I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHO IT IS!!!!!

OH, AND BY THE WAY THEY ONCE TECHNICALLY STATED IN A COVER THAT ALL EXORCISTS ARE WORSE THAN A SINNER, WELL GOOD TO KNOW ANGELS ARE APPARENTLY WORSE THAN FUCKING VALENTINO OR A PEDOPHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD WHY DON'T THEY ALL JUST GO TAKE LILITH AND LUCIFER AT MAKE-OUT POINT AND TAKE TURNS THREE-WAYING WITH THEM IF THEY LOVE THEM SO MUCH!?!?!?!

OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK!!!!

I know I'm bitching and I know I probably sound like a fucking cunt believe me I hear it but I just really, really, really, really, really needed to let that out

Oh, and by the way

NOT ALL SINNERS CAN BE OR EVEN SHOULD REDEEMED, LIKE SAY FOR EXAMPLE I DON'T KNOW MAYBE A FUCKING NAZI!?!?!?!

Yes, there are some down there that can be redeemed, at least in the show, but there are many demons who don't even WANT salvation, not just because they don't think it's possible, but because they don't WANT to change for the better

I just wish these people would understand that, ESPECIALLY since it pertains to real life, there are just some people you can't save

Anyway, glad I finally got this off my chest I've been holding this in

Oh! Also @taradiddled if you're seeing this, I swear to the holy father this post IS IN NO WAY about you or your fic, I actually like it. Sorry if you ever got that conclusion

[space-matt]

Whispers of rebellion

chris sturniolo x fem.reader

summary: the only thing you have to do is forget what your father says and come with us - Chris

request: no

author’s note: hii all, I wanted to create a bad boy!chris-like version but still inserting nick and matt, by now i get my inspirations from songs lol tell me what you think!♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

The summer in our quaint town always followed the same pattern - familiar faces, the same streets, and the usual gossip about everyone's affairs. It was the kind of place where people loved to talk, and Christopher Sturniolo was often at the heart of those conversations.

Tall, with a confident smile and a leather jacket that perfectly suited his rebellious persona, Chris embodied the archetype of the guy your parents cautioned you about. He was the one with the sleek black car that thundered as he raced through the streets, always testing boundaries.

And that smile... oh, that smile had me captivated from the very first moment I laid eyes on it.

As I crept out of the house that night, I couldn't shake the echo of my dad's stern words at dinner. "He’s the kind that’ll break your heart. He doesn’t listen to anyone. Trust me, I’ve known plenty like him." I had always heeded my parents' advice, but this time felt different.

Trembling with a mix of nerves and determination, I made my way through the dark streets towards the abandoned basketball court where Chris would be. The flickering streetlights seemed to conspire to keep my secret as I approached the spot.

There he stood, leaning casually against his car, the dim light catching the mischievous glint in his eyes as he noticed me. "You’re late" he teased, his arms crossed and a daring smile on his lips.

"I shouldn’t even be here" I said, though my wavering voice betrayed the fact that I desperately wanted to be.

Chris pushed himself off the car, the metal creaking as he did so, and began to walk toward me. His heavy boots made a distinct crunching sound against the cracked pavement. As he got closer, he leaned in, his face so near that I could feel his warm breath on my skin.

"You know your dad doesn't like me" he murmured, his voice low and intense. "And he's probably right about me."

I couldn't help but ask, "Then why am I here?" Surprisingly, my voice came out more confident than I had expected.

Chris chuckled, the sound rich and deep, sending a shiver down my spine. "Because you're not like everyone else. You're curious. You're different. You've got guts."

His words hit me right in the chest. No one had ever spoken to me like that before—like they truly saw me.

Before I could respond, another voice cut through the night air. "Yo, you're lucky we didn't leave without you!" It was Nick, Chris's brother, leaning out of the back of the car with a grin. His tousled hair fluttered in the wind, and his laid-back attitude matched his brother's rebellious energy.

Matt, who was Chris's identical twin, stood casually nearby, idly spinning his car keys on his finger. "We were about to bail" he remarked, arching an eyebrow as if questioning your sudden appearance. However, there was no hint of malice in his tone, just the playful and carefree vibe that seemed to accompany the Sturniolo brothers wherever they went.

"Nah, she's with me" Chris asserted, redirecting his attention back to you. He took your hand, and the warmth of his touch sent a tingle up your arm. "You ready for this?"

You paused for a moment, glancing between Chris, Nick, and Matt. They all wore the same mischievous look, as if they thrived on defying rules and didn't care who stood in their way. It was thrilling and dangerous, an intoxicating mix.

"She doesn't have to come" Matt interjected with a smirk, clearly teasing. "We don't bite... well, not too hard."

You rolled your eyes, unable to stifle the smile that spread across your lips. "Let's go" you declared, your voice unwavering.

Chris's smile broadened as he drew you closer. "Good choice. But just so you know, once you're in, there's no turning back."

Matt opened the door to the car and slid into the passenger seat, while Nick jumped into the back, adjusting his seatbelt with a quick click. Chris gestured for me to sit beside him in the driver’s seat, and as I settled in, the familiar rumble of the engine coming to life felt like the beginning of an exhilarating adventure.

“What would your dad say if he knew you were here?” Chris asked, glancing at me as he revved the engine. The question lingered in the air, charged with a sense of daring and excitement.

“He’d probably lock me up forever” I admitted with a laugh, attempting to conceal my nerves. “But I don’t care.”

Chris’s grin softened, a glint of something profound in his eyes. “You know what? Forget what everyone else says. Forget your dad. Just listen to yourself.”

The engine of the car roared to life as Chris pressed down on the gas pedal, igniting a surge of adrenaline that pulled us into the night. The world outside the window dissolved into a blur as Matt leaned over, cranking up the music, and Nick started drumming on the back of my seat, their laughter filling the air with an infectious energy that set the tone for the evening.

In that exhilarating moment, it felt like we were breaking free from everything—my father's strict rules, the suffocating expectations of our small town, and even my own lingering doubts. The wind rushed through the open windows, tousling our hair, and as Chris's hand found mine on the gearshift, a sense of liberation washed over me.

"This is just the beginning" Chris declared amidst the symphony of the engine and the music. "Stick with us, and you'll never be bored"

I believed him. In that chaotic and electrifying atmosphere, I knew that this was the escape I had been yearning for. Maybe my father was right—maybe Chris was trouble, and perhaps the Sturniolo brothers were the kind of guys I should have avoided.

But for the first time, I didn't care about the "shoulds." All that mattered was what I wanted.

As the car raced down the deserted streets, the starry night sky above us, I felt a profound sense of empowerment, as if I was finally seizing control of my own destiny—wherever it might lead me.

---------------------------------------------------

taglist: @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @bernardsbendystraws @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07 @ivysturnss

@sturniolosreads  @mayhem-72  @dracoflaco  @lyzsaphrodite 

@ifilwtmfc  @c00ch13destroyer

[stellarhoxy]

idk about you but i saw some tiny influx of ppl say "oh it should be x who's (the wife/bottom/pregnant/etc...) not y " in some ship work around and i wanna say... don't. do this... even if you know OP likes that interchangably, i find it still really rude. when op makes transformative work, there's usually a reason why they made it that way not the other. Just appreciate the creation they've given you, as it stands. In my opinion saying that "oh but x should be bottom" is like saying "oh but i don't like how red this artwork is, can it be blue instead?"I get we each have preferences, but let's be respectful to eachother....

[mobius-m-mobius]

You wanna hear a good story? Listen to this one.

Mobius + comfort

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned

[reallychaoticwoo]

May I request a yeosang x fan reader smut. Where she goes to Seoul to go to a concert. But she meets Yeosang the day before and she freaks out like panic attack mode. So he takes her to his dorm. Has her shower and change into some of his clothes and it gets him hard and she never had experienced sex or even masturbate so she doesn't understand what she is feeling so he walks her through it all from fingerings to squirting to oral to eventually full on sex. And as they finish she notices blood and gets worried so Yeosang calms her down and such?

⛓️I really enjoyed writing this one! Im still not fully confident in my smut writing abilities, but i think this one turned out better than the last one. Hopefully, this meets your expectations🖤⛓️

✨️Sex Ed in Seoul✨️

📝Word Count: 3,820

❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!! cussing, fingering/oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), squirting, inexperienced reader, experienced Yeo, panick attack, lots of smut and a sprinkle of fluff (im a sucker for a happy ending)🖤 Please lmk if I missed anything!

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤Hope you enjoy!🖤

Your plane just landed, and you are rushing through the bustling airport to get your bags and find where you'll be staying for the night. Not that you haven't already booked a hotel, but you've never been to Seoul before, so you weren't really sure how to get around the city.

Grabbing your bags, you made your way out of the airport and through the busy streets. It must be obvious to everyone that you're not from here. Aside from your difference in fashion and your obviously American choice of luggage, you were looking around at your surroundings like a kid in a candy store. The locals seemed rather nice, giving you small smiles as you passed by. After about 15 minutes of mindless wondering, you made your way to a rather cozy looking coffee shop.

Sitting down with your large luggage bags next to you, you made yourself comfortable and started to Google Maps how to get to the hotel you'd be staying at. You were so ready to make it to where you'd be staying for the next few days. Wanting to unpack, shower, and set out your concert fit for tomorrow. You'd been saving up since the last tour, your heart set on making it to Seoul, and you finally had.

Having been so engrossed in your googling and your thoughts of what tomorrow would be like, you completely missed the man who just sat down next to you. He looked really familiar but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. It's not like you know anyone from here, minus the idols, which, let's be honest, you don't actually know. That's when you saw it. The distinct birthmark peaking out from under his mask, next to his eye. 'No way. There's no fucking way that's him. Do I say something? Do I ignore him and pretend like my bias isn't sitting right next to me??' Your mind was racing almost as fast as your heart.

"So, what brings you to town?" Omg, he's talking to you. You're not sure if it's fear, embarrassment, butterflies, or sheer panic, but your heart is beating so fast you could swear it's about to pound itself right out of your chest. Right now, your chest seems like it's the tightest it's ever been.

"Hey, are you okay?" He looked at you with concern written all over his face. "Uh- I- i- I'm so sorry," quickly trying to gather your things, tears starting to well in your eyes, you knocked your coffee over. Spilling all over the table, floor, and your clothes. 'No... fuck, this can't be happening right now.' The tears no longer resting in your eyes but flooding down your cheeks. Your breathing uneven and fast, your body trembling all over.

Yeosang was quick to action, notifying an employee nearby that there was a spill and apologizing for the hasty exit the two of you would be making. Grabbing your hand and your luggage, he pulled you outside and into a black car that was parked at the back of the coffee shop. Once the two of you were secure in the car, he checked to make sure you were buckled properly. He held your hand is his, pulling down his mask. "Hey, hey, take some deep breaths.. everything is okay." Barely able to comprehend what just happened, what was currently happening, you leaned forward, putting your head in between your legs, trying to steady your breathing. Rubbing small circles on your back with his free hand, his other one gently brushing your hand is his, he repeated, "Everything is okay. You're doing great, so continue to take deep breaths and let your body relax."

Not even 10 minutes later, the car had come to a stop. Extending his hand out to you, Yeosang helped you out of the vehicle, grabbing your luggage once again, before waving the driver off. You had gained some control over your breathing, but the feeling of your chest shattering inside you was still evident. Walking inside the large building in front of you, he effortlessly navigated you through the halls and to a room. The room was stunning, white walls, soft gray bedding, a few plants hanging or sitting in various spots, a small bookshelf against the wall filled with some of your favorite novels and a sleek gray desk without a single thing misplaced. It felt comfortable, like a safe haven.

"This is my room, I hope you don't mind the messy bed, I wasn't really expecting to bring someone home today," a nervous but sweet chuckle escaping him. "Uh, I figured you could use a shower as they always help calm my nerves, and I'm not really sure where you're staying, so I brought you here. I hope that's okay?" You tried to look grateful, but everything inside of you was stuck in the limbo of uncertainty. Giving your best polite smile and a nod, he continued, "Well, the bathroom is over here, I'll set some clean clothes and a towel in there for you. Please take all the time you need in there. I'll be in here when you get out." Grabbing a towel and some of his comfiest clothes, he placed them neatly on the counter before returning to the room. "All set. I'll see you whenever you're ready."

Standing under the warm water, letting it embrace your skin, you finally let your body release its tension. Your shoulders dropping and your back slouching ever so slightly. He was right. A shower is just what you need to help calm your nerves. After about an hour of regaining yourself, you finally left the warmth and comfort of the shower. Drying yourself off and putting on the clothes Yeosang left out for you, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. "You've got this. He's just a human, like any other human out there. Just be yourself and don't panic." After your whispered self pep talk, you finally made your way out of the bathroom.

Perking up as soon as he heard the handle to the bathroom door move, he asked, "Are you feeling any better?" You smiled at him, an actual smile, and oh, it was a beautiful smile. "I am. Thank you for helping me out. You really didn't have to do that." He just shook his head at you, smiling kindly. "I did, though. I couldn't just let you go through that alone." His kind smile seemed to change for a split second with a different emotion you weren't able to quite place. Trying not to read too much into it, you sat on the foot of the bed facing him. "Well, I'm grateful for your kindness." Your smile was truly breathtaking. In fact, you sitting there on his bed, in his clothes, it was mesmerizing. Like all of his daydreams had come to life before him.

He'd always imagined himself with a girl who was soft and kind. Someone who would look like a doll in his clothing, whose smile would make his world pause in an instant. With someone like you. Feeling guilty for his wondering mind, he decided to ask again, "So, I asked earlier, but I never got my answer. What are you in town for?" Blush spreading across your face, you looked down, "Funny, you should ask.. I Uh, I actually came for your concert tomorrow. I've been a fan of you all for a while now, and it's my first time being able to come out to Seoul to see you perform." A wide grin spread across his face. How did he not notice you were an atiny? He was so worried about your impending panic attack that he completely failed to remember the fact you were wearing a tour shirt. "I'm glad you were able to make it! I must know, who's your bias? Maybe I could set up a personal meet and greet for you!" Fidgeting with your thumbs, you shot him a shy smile. "Oh, there's no need for that." He was puzzled, to say the least. What atiny wouldn't want to have a one on one with their bias? "Why's that?" He needed to understand why someone would pass up that opportunity. Most fans would (and have) fight for even a minute of time with their favorite member. "Well, uh, you kind of already have. You're my bias." There was no hiding the fact that your face was the same shade as a tomato. Did you really just tell him that?  "Oh? Oh! Well, I'm glad I was the one that you ran into today then." That was it. You're literally the embodiment of what he's been dreaming of, and you like him too??

He wonders if you feel as soft as he's always imagined. What you sound like when you're being worshipped. What you'd feel like if he ever got to make you his own. His pants were tightening at the thoughts. Trying to shift his position, he leaned back further on the bed, pulling one of his legs up to try and hide his hardening length. Unluckily for him, or maybe it was lucky? You noticed that his pants seemed to have a tent that wasn't there before.

"Uh, should I, um, leave you to, uh, take care of that?" You weren't uncomfortable, but nervous? You didn't know much about sex. You were a virgin, hell, you've never even touched yourself. Yet the sight of him, even if only for a split second, sent tingles down your spine. "No, uh, I'm sorry. I'm not usually one to be so, uh, easily excited. I just, well, never mind." You cocked your head at him, your eyes questioning what he meant. Catching on to your confusion, he quickly tried to explain. "Look, I'm usually very in control of my urges, but I'd be lying if I said that you weren't something right out of my dreams. You are very gorgeous, and your smile is heart-stopping. I let my mind wonder, and I apologize for that."

He was honest. That was one of the many reasons you'd liked him so much in the first place. Aside from being painstakingly beautiful himself, he had a personality that was just as inviting as his looks. Feeling a surge of curiosity and something else you weren't really used to feeling, you decided to ask, "What do you mean you let your mind wonder? I'm sorry to ask, but I, Uh, I'm not really um.. experienced." It was his turn to look puzzled. "What do you mean by that? Not to ignore your question, but surely you have some experience?"

"No, I don't. I've never even touched myself, and I'm still a virgin. I just wanted to wait, ya know? Find someone worth giving myself to in that way.. someone who would actually love me and not just use me. I know, it's rare these days, but one can dream." You weren't really sure why you were telling him this. After tomorrow, you'd never see him again, so did it really matter? Give it a month, and he probably won't even remember. They meet so many fans with all kinds of stories.

"I understand, well, to answer your question from earlier. I couldn't help but wonder what your lips would taste like against mine. Or how pretty you sound when you moan. You must make the most magical noises when you're enjoying yourself." Your thighs clamped shut at his words. Your untouched cunt silently screaming to be loved, to be pleasured. You gulped at the thought, I mean, who better to take your virginity than someone you've literally dreamt about every night for years. Someone who you could only pray your future partner would remotely resemble. Someone who saw you, a stranger, and decided to help you when you were afraid and vulnerable.

"Yeosang... would you, um, would you be okay with taking it slow? Walking me through it?"

"I'd love nothing more. I'm gonna need you to come lay on the bed next to me, okay?"

Patting the bed next to him, you moved to lay beside him. Your nerves were getting the best of you again, but this time, it felt good? He eased his way over you, his legs straddling your thighs. Looking down at you with nothing but awe, he leaned in slowly, giving you time to move if you wanted, before softly caressing your lips with his. His hand moving up to gently cup your cheek and pull you slightly closer. Your head was already spinning. How could a kiss feel this good? He slowly moved his other hand to your breast, palming at the soft mound over your shirt. A small but angelic whimper escaping your mouth and flowing into his. You were so perfect, and all he's done is kiss you.

Parting your lips to catch his breath, he moved his way down, placing soft, calculated kisses on your jaw, then neck, the chest. Arching into his touch absentmindedly, your eyes closed in pure bliss, your hand followed his every move, finding its place in his hair, gently gripping the blonde locks in between your fingers. Kissing down your stomach, he stopped right above where his sweats sat on your waist. "Are you comfortable with taking these off, love?" He looked up at you, his eyes reassuring, full of concern for your comfort and yours only. It was obvious he wanted to make you feel good more than anything else. You nodded a quiet "Yes" escaping your lips.

With your permission, he hooked his thumbs on the waistband, pulling it and your panties down carefully. "I'm going to taste you now beautiful, okay? I need you to relax for me and let me make you feel good. Can you do that for me, precious?" Another nod from you is all he got, and all he needed. Licking a slow strip up your folds. "Fuck you're so wet already. Did you know that precious? Did you know how beautifully eager you cunt was for some attention?" Looking up at you, all he could see was the absolutely fucked out look on your face. He hadn't even fully started and you looked like you were ready to fall apart. God, you really could not be more perfect.

Placing a few more slow licks through your folds, he spread your thighs a little further apart. He wanted the perfect view of his new favorite meal. Your hands gripped the sheets beneath you, your hips bucking up, trying to find his tongue once again. "Fuck you're so eager to learn princess. Don't worry, I promise I'll teach you everything I know." And with that he was face first in your cunt again. Licking sweet circles around your clit. You felt like you were floating, your stomach creating a knot of pleasure just waiting to be released. Your hips moving with the licks he placed on your aching bud with perfect timing. Feeling like you were nearing your climax he slowly slipped his index finger inside your tight hole. "Dear god, you are so fucking tight baby, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to fit, we're gonna have to prep this pretty pussy of yours okay?" You were nothing but a fraction of the girl you were just 10 minutes ago. Your brain foggy, your climax ready to take you under. He slipped his middle finger in, curling both fingers up to find the spongey spot he knew would set you off. Once he found it, he only slightly quickened his face, adding pressure you your clit with his tongue expertly flicking away. "Fuck... FUCK YEOSANNNGGG" Your vision went white, your thighs trembling at the feeling of your high spraying out of you. You were an absolute mess. Trying to catch your breath, you propped yourself up on your forearms. Yeosang already climbing on the bed next to you, water in hand. "Here love, take a sip." You gulped the water down, handing it back to him. "Your shirts soaked?? I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to - i- I didn't know.." You started. He just laughed waving you off. "Of course you didn't know baby. I'm pleasantly surprised you can squirt and I am absolutely not complaining. It was hot as fuck. I'd love to make you do it again." And you would love to do it again. Having finally fully come back to and steadied your breathing you look at the blonde man sitting next to you. "Yeosang, please, I want you. I want you to have me, I want you to be my first. Please..." Fuck, how could he say no to that? He couldn't. He wouldn't. "Are you absolutely sure love? I don't want you to regret it later." He meant that too. He knew that it was important to you and he didn't want to be the guys you were so desperately trying to avoid. He wouldn't be them, he'd made up his mind. "I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather loose my virginity to, Yeo.. you're literally my biggest fantasy.. please take me."

And with that, he was taking off his clothes, throwing them on the floor. You followed suit, taking off your.. his shirt, and tossing to the floor. He climbed back over you once again, and you spread your thighs, giving him perfect access to your glistening entrance. Leaning over you to place a gentle kiss on your forehead before resting his against it. "We'll take it slow, okay baby? If you need me to pause or to stop all together, just tell me, okay?" You smiled up at him, your eyes full of love. "Okay," you nodded. Lining himself up, he slowly pushed himself into your sopping cunt. Your lips parting at the stretch, a painful inhale falling from your mouth. "Are you okay? Do I need to stop?" You shook your head, "No, no please don't stop Sangie." A breathy plea to him. Inching himself further inside he groaned in pleasure at the feeling of your warm walls clenching around his cock like a glove. You feel like you were made for him. Molded to fit his dick, and his dick only. Stilling his movement once he was fully sheathed inside you he placed a hungry kiss to your lips. His tongue massaging yours, your beautiful moans being swallowed by him. Pulling away ever so slightly you whined looking at him with the most pitiful, gorgeous, look he's ever seen. "Sangie, please... please move."

Slowly, he retracted his hips before pushing back into you with one deep thrust. "Aahh, shit Sangie!" Another sharp thrust, "fuck you feel so good wrapped around me baby." He set the perfect pace, slow and deep thrusts, pulling you into your own personal utopia of pleasure. Your hands found their place on his shoulders, nails sinking into his skin surely leaving cresent marks he will be wearing proudly tomorrow. Your back arching in pleasure and your walls clenching around him, he quickened his pace. Sharp deep thrusts threatening to explode. "Fuck angel, are you close? I need you to cum for me beautiful, I need to feel you cum all over my cock." His eyes were pleading with yours his hand quickly moving down to where your sweet perky bud was. Applying pressure to the small mound, flicking over it in time with his trusts, your eyes glossed over, you were so far gone. "Sangie... sh...aaahhh.. I'm gonna..." the feeling washed over you with a surge that refused to hold back. Yeosangs thrusts becoming speratic as your essence floods over him like a warm wave "Quick baby, where do you want me to come??" Your mind barely had time to comprehend his words before you were saying, "inside please fuck Please cum inside me, I want to feel you everywhere." With a few more unsyncronized pumps, he was spewing thick white ropes onto your spasms walls. Steadying himself above you, he kissed you tenderly before slowly pulling out and standing up. "Let me help you get cleaned up, I'll be right back."

He disappeared into the bathroom, coming back only a few moments later with a warm washcloth. He was gentle when cleaning you up. Taking his time as to not cause you any pain or discomfort. You looked at the bed, and your body froze. "Yeo... Yeosang.. why is there blood??" Your voice and body trembling at the sight. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. "Don't freak out, okay. It's perfectly normal. A lot of girls bleed their first time having sex, and I promise it's nothing to worry about." He reassured you. "Now, how does a bath sound?" A soft hum into his shoulder was all he needed to know that that's exactly what you needed right now. Gently laying you back down, he disappeared to the bathroom again. As he drew your bath, adding relaxing oils and bath salts, he laid out two towels and some body oil for after.

"Let's get you in the tub angel. I'll be there to join you in a few minutes, okay? I'm just gonna make the bed really quick." He helped you into the tub, one hand holding yours and his other hand resting on your back as you eased yourself in. A quick kiss to your forehead, and he was leaving to change the bedding and throw the soaked sheets in the laundry.

Once he returned, he joined you in the tub, sitting behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist. "So I was thinking.." He started, "I know we just met, and we just had sex, but I was hoping that, if you want, of course, you'd stay with me? You don't have to answer now, but I just want you to know I think you're really something special and I'd love to see what the future has in store for us." You nodded, listening to his words, deciding to answer him after you weren't naked at the very least.

He helped you bathe, and you, of course, returned the favor. Getting out of the tub, he made sure to hold you steady and wrapped you in a fluffy towel. He helped you get dressed in a new set of his clothes and even carried you to his bed. Laying you down under the covers, he climbed in bed next to you. You turned to face him, looking at him with so much admiration, so much wonder and love. "I'd love to stay with you." You said before turning to lay on your back. He pulled you back to face him, his arms tightening around your waist. He kissed the tip of your nose softly, "You dont even know how happy you just made me. You really are the woman of my dreams."

[spocks-kaathyra]

really nothing more detestable than a coward

[fideidefenswhore]

What are your thoughts on Jane Boleyn, and the role she supposedly played in the fall of 3 Queens (Anne Boleyn, Anna of Cleves, Katheryn Howard)? Do you think she has been too maligned by historians for centuries, especially when it comes to the relationship with the Boleyns (it seems she got along with Anne)?

Now that I've read both works and compared them side by side, I suppose I would say my stance on Jane Boleyn falls somewhere in between that of Julia Fox and James Taffe ('Somewhere in between' is not, btw, Alison Weir); although closer to the former than the latter. Offering critique of both biographies, I would say that of JF is too apologetic (smoothing out wrinkles that exist in her arguments rather than acknowledging them) and JT is too severe.

Especially when it comes to the relationship with the Boleyns? Yes and no. Obviously she was married to George, she sent him a message of comfort while he was in the Tower, and wore only black the rest of her life, which was quite the potent statement. However, I would allow for the possibility that she potentially, inadvertently implicated him or AB (ie, testimony of hers was twisted to suit the crown's case). This is where I think there are flaws in the arguments of some of her defenders-- they cannot allow for even that possibility and so make claims that disallow it; some of which are untrue. 'Jane was only blamed as a means of absolving Henry in the whitewash of Elizabethan propagandists' is not true. Johannes Sleidan in 1545 claimed that Anne and George died by her 'false accusation'. Sleidan was a Reformer, so he would have been more sympathetic towards the plights of these two than the average person, and would have spoken to others that were as well, but the motivation to vindicate Elizabeth did not yet exist; she was at this point the very unlikely third in line to the throne.

I do appreciate that you said 'got along' with Anne, not 'besties', because...it's possible they were very close, certainly, but we must also allow for the possibility of animosity. The linchpin for the argument of closeness is the report from Chapuys that they 'conspired together' to banish Henry's mistress from court. Was this the precise truth? Considering the source I'm doubtful. Probably there was a lady Henry was serving at this time (although that we never have a name makes the story somewhat suppositious), but did they need to have 'conspired together' against her for Jane to be banished from court (which is what happened instead)? Jane might have merely made Anne aware of her, and Henry finding out that she'd been the source would have been enough for banishment. Or, as was presented plausibly in Adrienne Dillard's fictional rendition, Jane might have dropped hints to Cromwell that this mistress was a supporter of the two exiled and contumacious royal women that were Anne's adversaries, Cromwell might have passed this along to Henry, and Henry might have banished Jane for shattering the illusion that this woman had no independent ambitions or ulterior motives and merely let him hit for the sheer pleasure of his company.

If this was evidence of closeness, and it might be, then we also have to remember that the end result was Jane's banishment from court, and that there is, as JT fairly pointed out, no evidence that any of the Boleyns spoke in her defense, favor, or for her return. It would take an extremely magnanimous person to accept all that with equanimity and not feel any resentment whatsoever. So, if there was intimacy, there might have also been rift.

That leaves the question: enough 'rift' for her to seek vengeance? I doubt that much for all the reasons Fox outlines in her biography, but at the same time I wish there was not this relentless push to only defend women that we assert 'deserve' defense, on the premise they were entirely selfless, accepted every insult with grace, never kept any grudges, never had personal ambitions (the actions she took during the queenships of those you mentioned would suggest otherwise), mixed emotions, or conflicting loyalties; that we could acknowledge that acknowledging the agency of historic women also means acknowledging they were capable of making mistakes.

[louderfade]

exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.

[palms-upturned]

Needed to listen to some music while I did the dishes and for some reason picked “von” from the zankyou no terror soundtrack and jesus god. Experiencing emotions that don’t exist.

[autisticlee]

I wasn't diagnosed with hEDS, despite very much suspecting it before that. my doctor used that testing method (I always forget the name of) that looks at like 5 joints only and judges based on that. some of those happened to be joints I don't have as much issue with (for example, my elbows and knees don't bend past the degree required and my back is way too stiff to touch the ground without a lot of stretching first) but I was told I have general, basically harmless joint hypermobility and there's no treatment to help me or anything. I'm basically fine I guess?

I was told by a few people on twitter that the test is outdated and the issues I mention having sounds a lot like hEDS and I need a second opnion (but can't get one because that's the only doctor in my hospital/insurance system) so all I have to go by is what people online have told me from a guess and what a doctor told me. so I really don't know what the truth it. but I feel obligated to go off of what the doctor said and say "I'm fine" because I was also told by twitter people that this "isnt something to wish for/it's a very serious condition/you can't just self diagnosed this/etc" so I can only assume I just have a few joints that bend more than they should but it's fine.

(this is longer than i expected so i'll cut it)

my joints are always popping and cracking and feeling very loose and floppy. I don't get big dislocations requiring hospital visits that I am told are a required symptoms of hEDS. )I can dislocated my jaw on demand though and have to use my hands to put it back lmao and other joints get stuck and feel like they're trying to dislocate and stuff like that? i've had toes and fingers dislocated and my parents just yank on them until they pop back in. my hips are some of the worst joints i think. of course those aren't tested in the EDS test. i'll be walking and suddenly my hip feels like it pops out of place or gets stuck. if i'm standing and shift my hips, I can feel it pop really dramatically. always a dull pain, sometimes sharp pain that makes it very hard to walk untol it goes away. but I try to ignore it.

I feel like I have high pain tolerance (not sure if due to being autistic and having weird sensory issues, or from basically being trained my while life to ignore my pain because my parents couldn't afford to take me to doctors, being told to suck it up i'm being dramatic, getting ignored or told others "have it worse," etc.) so i've just been accepting the joint pain I get, especially from my very physically demanding job, and don't do much about it. I'm pretty sure most, if not all my sleep problems are due to chronic pain and discomfort. everyone tries to tell me it's all in .y head and I can't sleep because my mind is "too active" and i'm just "thinking too much" so i've been suggested so many things to treat anxiety. thkae don't work and meds made it WAY worse. i'm the definition of "head empty" when i'm trying to sleep. I don't think that's it lmao. if it's anything in my head, it's the vivid dreams I have. but do dreams make you feel like you got physically hit by a truck? maybe mentally, yeah.

my mom, who I work with, has chronic pain and back and other problems. so since she "just deals with it" she applies that to me and says "mine is worse/I deal with it every day and it mever stops/I can't help you/you have nothing to complain about/etc" and not just her, my whole family seems to have chronic pain and stuff. it's like it's genetic, idk. so i'm expected to work through it and ignore it. she doesn't use any mobility aids despite probably needing to, so it was never suggested to me. i've had pain and issues most my life but was always told i'm "too young to have any pain. wait until you're 25/30/35" (the number changes as I get older for some reason...) "you arent allowed to complain/experience pain now, you're too young. exercise more. you sit at your computer too much. etc" so i've just tried to ignore it and deal with it because i'm overreacting and it's not bad, right? others have it worse.

I visited some friends this past week. One friend is disabled and uses a cane/wheelchair to aid her mobility due to severe chronic pain. I brought my hip brace with me, which helps hold my hip in the joint a little and helps stop it popping out as I walk (there's still pain though, but it stops my joint from popping out sideways when i move it, if that makes sense?) my friend noticed me struggling and despite me telling her i'm fine and this or normal, she demanded I don't just "deal with it" like everyone else. she made sure I had my brace on, shared her pain meds, and made me borrow her cane while she used her wheelchair.

we went to an anime convention and met up with one of my friend's friends for a little bit. she also uses a cane when walking around a lot. she noticed my hip issues and my skin having a bad reaction to the double sided tape I was using for cosplays and asked if I had EDS because I showed signs like people she knows who have it. that kind of further makes me wonder if maybe my doctor misdiagnosed because of the bad outdated test? perhaps it's not and i'm overthinking it. i'm just thinking that if that's what it it actually is, it would be nice to know so I know how to help myself? like maybe there's more treatments than just ignoring standard hypermobility? and what if there's other related issues i'd have to watch for amd not know about?

but anyway, borrowing my friends cane, with and even without my hip brace (sometimes with wrist brace too if i remembered because wrist pain particularly due to an old, severe injury as a kid), doing a ton of walking all week, I noticed I never got sharp hip and knee pains that I get normally that almost down me every day at work or when going for a walk. I always try to ignore them and push through and continue what I'm doing. I assume that's fine and even get annoyed at myself for being so overreacting to it????? i'm suppsed to have high pain tolerance, right? i'm making a big deal out of nothing probably!!!!

but using it that whole week and finding that it helped makes me wonder if I should get my own???? not that I really go anywhere and I can't use it at work because I have to use my hands the whole time. (or is that attention seeking behavior? I know using one draws negative attention because people are assholes about that stuff. but it's still attention. am I secretly wanting attention???) I also wonder if i'm experiencing more issues than I think. like have I gotten so used to ignoring things that it's actually worse than I think? am I a walking imposter syndrome? i've heard you can dull your own sense of pain by ignoring it long enough and being autistic with sensory issues can also cause a reduced sense of pain. it seemed like being around other disabled people and people who actually paid attention to me meant people noticed me struggling more than I notice, if that makes sense?? but I don't know i'd I am truly struggling or i'm unconsciously making it up????

when I was on my way home walking through the airport, I thought I was doing fine. yeah, I was going slower than everyone else and leaning on my rolling carryon luggage, but i'm sure I was fine......I must have looked like I was struggling. a man driving one of those little transport vehicles through the hall stopped and asked if I was ok. I said i'm fine and he insisted I get on and he take me down the rest of the very long hall. he got to the end where it splits and I needed the opposite way he was headed so he called for someone with a wheelchair to scoop me up and take me to my gate and wouldn't accept a no.

I thought i'd be fine shuffling the hour long layover I had to the opposite side of the airport to my gate, but turns out I made it a minute after boarding time started even with other people running me through on wheels double the speed or more i was going myself. I may have missed my flight if I kept shuffling on my own.....

even though it was a lot of help, I still felt bad, like I was taking up resources from people who really needed it. I never considered myself physically disabled despite my weird joint issues, weakness, chronic pain, lack of balance and coordination, etc. it was a lot of help, and like I said, I may have missed my plane without it, but I still felt really bad and still do, like a fraud, like I was wasting something others needed more. I just feel like my struggles aren't enough to warrant any thpe of disability aid, if they can even be considered struggles at all. I felt like i'm an able person being fake and taking something that doesn't belong to me, wasting resources that aren't meant for me, despite it not being me who chose it or asked for it. I tried to refuse, but it was given to me by someone who seems to have felt I needed it????? should I have rejected it more and tried to be more insistent on being fine? (though i'm not sure i'd be capable of that since I was overwhelmed and my autistic brain can barely handle airports....so talking at all was kind of out of the question)

i really feel like I don't need or deserve help like that! I need to deal with it on my own and ignore it, right? others have it worse! it's not that bad. I can deal with it on my own. maybe i'm being dramatic about any pain and stuff i'm experiencing and need to suck it up and stop complaining. It's not bad enough to even mention it! maybe i'm unconsciously trying to get attention or something like that. unconsciously looked like I was struggling for some kind of attention or something (despite trying to always shrink and hide myself in public to be left alone, especially when sensory overwhelmed). I hope I didn't impede anyone who needed and deserved help more than me 🥺😔