#if any of you read stargate oblivion

[atlantis-scribe]

Are you willing to elaborate on the "Teyla naming her son Torren John was tacky?" It's the only one where I don't quite see the reasoning.

sure!

(note: i love Teyla & John’s friendship. it’s apparent and given the space to develop in canon. it’s also one of my favorite ‘hetero’ friendships in sci-fi, so the Legacy books making them romantic rubs me the wrong way. it’s like making, say, Sisko & Jadzia romantic. *shudders*)

• I’m not the biggest fan of naming kids after real people, especially family / close friends of the parents. it puts undue pressure on the little guy. children should be born clean slates and shouldn’t have to live up to the reputations of their namesakes.

• we don’t know enough about Pegasus (or Athosian) naming conventions, but Torren being given two first names feels like it came out of nowhere. just a little too indulgent (on the writers’ part) for my taste.

• I know Teyla is obviously closer to Sheppard than her other teammates (this is also a sore spot for me. I would’ve welcomed more development for Rodney&Teyla and Rodney&Ronon. I’m looking at you, Farewell Scene In Sheppard’s Room During The Return Part One), but Teyla made it seem like she named her son after John because of the whole rescue mission, and that was hardly all Sheppard’s doing.

[lyssalis-corner]

A Note On Writing

Someone asked me the other day, “Why do you write?”. I typically give people two answers to this question, it depends on how much time they have. And what age range I’m talking to.

Answer one; How could I not? I grew up surrounded by good literature and quality storytelling. I was born in 2004, and shortly after my parents cancelled their cable/live TV subscription, because they couldn’t control what advertisements would pop up. I was also a first child, if that helps your mental picture. I watched most of my TV as a child, which wasn’t very much by today’s standards on VHS. I remember Blockbuster. Going to the Library with my mom (who was stay at home) to pick out a new Wiggles or Blue’s Clues. We didn’t have a DVD player (or at least one we used regularly) until my dad, an avid gamer bought a PS3 so he could play TES IV; Oblivion, because he’d heard about how awesome the graphics were. So as a result I also grew up on a steady diet of Fantasy and Sci-Fi. Oblivion, Never Winter Nights, Skyrim. When I was small, my bedtime stories consisted of The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, and even The Silmarillion, and other like titles. We watched Stargate SG-1, Battlestar Galactica, Dark Angel, and others. I also saw The Fifth Element way younger than I should have.

All of those were instrumental in shaping my world outlook. I was only only child for the first five and a half years of my life, and I learned how to ‘entertain’ myself so I could go places with my dad. I learned to read at age six, when my brother was born. I started voraciously inhaling just about any book I could get my hands on, and my parents were quite happy to feed my burgeoning addiction. I went on such adventures. From Magic Treehouse, a favorite, to Geronimo Stilton. I went so many places, and then I would come out of some sort of hyper focus and feel... Empty? It was awful. So, obviously, I needed to do something about that.

My very first bit of writing came about before I really knew how to spell. It was illustrated, in my horrible seven-year-old hand writing, and despite the fact that it was just over a decade ago that I wrote it, I remember it vividly. I got some paper out of the printer, (nothing but the best for my project) grabbed my pencil, and sat down at my desk. It was a piece of Spider-man fanfiction. I’d just watched The Amazing Spider-Man, you see. It was quite possibly my first fandom with drawl. I don’t remember the story, and as I mentioned, I couldn’t spell. My mom was busy, so naturally I wrote the first letter of every word. It’s illegible gibberish.

Next, I wrote a two-page epic called The Wah-Wah Showdown. It was about two babies, in a world, inexplicably filled with only babies, participating in a competition to see who could cry the loudest. It was also illustrated. Then I dabbled in some NCIS fanfiction that will probably never see the light of day, because it is insanely cringe.

At some point, I realized that I had ideas, and that I could actually be writing those down too. And all those stories in my head that I visited in dream-land? I could write those down. It was like I’d walked out of my closet into Narnia. Out of my safe little hobbit-hole in the Shire into the wide, wide world.

Answer Number 2, which actually feeds from answer Number 1. This is the answer I give in simple language to children, and adults who have only asked to be polite. But I’m assuming if you’ve made it this far, you’re invested, so I won’t bother putting into small chunks;

It’s like the opening lines of Icon for Hire’s Magic from the album You Can’t Kill Us, “My seems are breaking, It’s not as fun as it sounds, I’ve got a whole world inside my, begging to come out.” There’s a particular brand of magic coursing through my veins, building up inside me, like a raging storm. It’s something integral to who I am. My deepest impulses are to create. To make things. To craft things that bring joy to others. If I let that sit inside me to long, I can’t function. It feels almost like I’m a soda that somebody shook, and like I’m going to explode. I get this out in a number of ways. I knit, crochet, draw, dance, play music, and I write. It’s exhilarating, to be able to describe things that don’t exist, to go on adventures of my own devising.

I was one of those kids who firmly believed that some day I was going to wander into Narnia. I spent a lot of my childhood waiting. Waiting for Narnia, waiting to find a mysterious tree house int he woods, waiting for a magic portal to come and whisk me off. That deep, deep hunger for adventure has never died. And so I write, trying desperately to finally go on that adventure that I was promised. As a result for my craving for a magical adventure, I’ve done stuff like MagiQuest, and Ren Faires. (I’ve never been larping, but it’s on my list of stuff to try). I’ve been geocaching. None of it has ever actually filled that void left by my first time through Narnia, though. So, I write. I mean, how else am I supposed to ride dragons and cast magic spells?

[cookiemom6067]

AO3 Tag Game

Tagged by Queen of the Crossovers, @loflight501

1. How many works do you have on AO3? As of last night I have 138 works

2. What is your total AO3 word count? 23,945 (bear in mind i'm primarily a podficcer - those don't have many words)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Stargate Atlantis

The Old Guard

Supernatural

The Losers

Marvel (MCU, 616. Captain America movies, The Avengers. Guardians of the Galaxy. Iron Man)

Supernatural RPF (J2)

NCIS

Star Trek: Alternate Original Series

DC Animated Universe (Justice League)

Leverage

Actor RPF

Equilibrium

Thoughtcrimes

Dawson's Creek

Stargate SG-1 (Crossover with SGA)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Two Weeks to Oblivion (SGA fic)

Impressions (The Losers podfic)

The Bad Ass Boys 'verse (Supernatural RPS podfic)

Small Primes and Square Roots (SGA podfic)

Don't Pursue (SGA/SG-1 podfic)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

YES - as a podficcer, they are rare and precious- I love anyone that interacts with my work.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Just about anything I write from John Sheppard's POV has some angst, but I tend to pivot to a hopeful ending at least. Probably Baptism

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I recorded a TOG/Losers crossover recently. I do have a couple that are percolating as fics, but I haven't written anything in a really long time. I'm kind of psyching myself up to doing it again.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I recently got some feedback that I appreciated getting that was rather harshly delivered. Kind of occupied me for a day.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written a bit of smut. I don't tend to do stories that are just smut. I love it, but I find it awkward to read aloud.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i'm aware

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have done a couple of multi-voice podfics and I did participate in podfic polygons s few years ago. I haven't written with anyone.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

It's always what I'm currently reading. I do still love my ships in fandoms that I've stepped away from. Joe/Nicky right now, but I'm also reading a lot of Kenzarelli crossovers. Daan/Paolo, Guido/Malik, Mickey/Majid.

I'm big on opposites attract/ enemies to lovers/ enemies wth benefits

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I didn't write any of it down, but my best friends and I told each other stories that were essentially self-insert fanfic. Original Star Trek was my first fandom.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Strictly limiting it to my writing, Can't Touch This

Tagging anyone that wants to do it!

[vagrantblvrd]

Breathe (1/1)

Summary: “Hey.”

Trevor looks up to see Alfredo leaning against the open doorway, frown on his face as he takes in Trevor’s no doubt alluring appearance. (Strange how self-care falls to the wayside in times like this.)

“You look like shit.”

Notes: Prompt fill for Anon who wanted Alfreyco in my Stargate AU. :D?

(Read on AO3)

Trevor presses the heel of his hand to his eye as pain spikes in his head, darts a glance at the bottle of aspirin sitting there all nice ad tempting but can’t remember the last time he took some.

Can’t remember much of anything, really, other than this impossible task he’s been given. (Gave to himself, because half his team is missing and that just won’t do.)

Snatched away from a research site while Trevor was overseeing the transport of samples and fancy alien technology to their labs back at the SGC.

Not even half an hour gone by and a cut off distress signal and staticky broadcast from Michael before they lost contact, the Stargate on their side shutting down without warning.

By the time they reestablished contact, sent a probe through, they were nowhere to be found.

Ample evidence there was a fight of some kind, dead scientists and several military personal. Ryan and Michael missing and some odd little alien gadget left behind Trevor hasn’t been able to make heads or tails out of.

“Hey.”

Trevor looks up to see Alfredo leaning against the open doorway, frown on his face as he takes in Trevor’s no doubt alluring appearance. (Strange how self-care falls to the wayside in times like this.)

“You look like shit.”

Such sweet nothings from his dearest Fredo.

“Well,” Trevor says, and doesn’t quite know how to follow up with that. “Yes.”

Alfredo snorts, pushing off against the door frame. He looks tired, like the General’s been sending him and every available volunteer out to look for the rest of their odd little team at every available opportunity.

Team after team of volunteers streaming through the Stargate in search of their missing people and nary a clue as to their whereabouts to be found.

Alfredo and Lindsay leading the charge, as it were, pushing themselves harder than anyone else out there because they know better than anyone else the odds stacked against them with each passing moment.

All the enemies the SGC has amassed over the years and more waiting in the wings to be discovered.  

Unintentional cultural misunderstandings that spin out of control in the blink of an eye, or devil’s deals with the Goa’uld the SGC doesn’t know about until it’s too late and a trap has been sprung. Other variables and it’s enough to make a man wonder why they keep doing what they do. (Almost.)

Ryan and Michael out there who knows where by now in the clutches of someone or other and not a goddamned thing anyone can do about it except hope.

There’s a soft snuffle from the couch against the far wall, and Trevor and Alfredo look over. Watch Gavin sleeping fitfully after Trevor forced him to get some rest after who knows how many hours awake. Starting to make stupid mistakes, hands shaking and this desperate look to him that was hard to bear.

He doesn’t wake, and Trevor breaths out a sigh of relief. Gavin's earned his rest, needs all he can get because he has poor sleeping habits as it is and this latest crisis is doing him no favors.

“Hey,” Alfredo says, gently taking the scanner Trevor’s gotten a death grip on out of his hands. “We’re going to find them, okay?”

Trevor snorts, because the odds of their teammates being alive are slim to none by this point.

Too stubborn, mouthy, those two. Likely to sass whoever grabbed them one time too many and humans are ever so fragile.

Can take a beating and keep on ticking, sure, but they’re not invulnerable and there are so many ways to kill them. (So many enemies who’d draw it out just for the hell of it.)

“Of course we will,” Trevor says, hears the exhaustion in his voice as he does. “And we’ll find a stockpile of ZPMs we can send on through to Atlantis while we’re at it.”

Come up with a surefire plan to defeat the Goa’uld, put an end to the threat the NID poses. Solve every problem the SGC has faced in its existence all at the same time, good guys save the day.

Hooray.

Alfredo stares at him for a long moment, and shakes his head. This tired little laugh and a hand coming down on Trevor’s shoulder, gently little squeeze meant to convey reassurance, understanding. All those things and more besides, thumb brushing Trevor's neck..

“Okay,” he says, soft, wry. “Alright. Time to take a break, Trevor.”

He can’t. Too much work to be done still, crack the mystery of this little mystery gadget that had been left at the scene of the crime, so to speak, in the hopes it might give them some answers.

“Yeah no,” Alfredo says, firmer this time as he bullies Trevor to his feet, no give to any of it even though he hasn’t lost that smile. “You let Gav have a break.”

That’s different.

Gavin works harder than people realize, runs on less sleep than Trevor does half the tie and anyway, anyway, he’s not the reason  -

“Trevor.”

Trevor’s train of thought derails, screeches off into oblivion at Alfredo’s tone of voice. Firm, unyielding, not about to to let some stupid little scientist overrule him.

“You need a break,” Alfredo says, catching Trevor’s eyes. “Just for a little bit, okay? Let that big ol’ brain of yours recharge, and then you and Gavin can get back to it.”

Trevor blinks, glances at Gavin and sees Lindsay talking to him quietly. Sees the curve of her smile from this angle, snorts at her threat of tattling to Michael on him if he doesn’t get up and Gavin’s sleepy protest.

“One hour,” Trevor says, because he’s so tired, and he trusts Alfredo to know his limits better than he does sometimes. “Just a little nap, Fredo, and then I’m back here figuring the doodad out.”

Scientific term, that.

Alien doodads and doohickeys, a specialty of his these days. (Sometimes he dabbles in thingamabobs.)

Alfredo nods, makes this little noise in his throat like yes, yes, absolutely Trevor as though he isn’t humoring the half-mad scientist under his watch.

“Why don’t we give Harper a crack at it until then, yeah?” he asks, tipping his head towards the door to Trevor’s lab where said scientist is standing.

Knows how much is resting on their shoulders if they hope to get the others back and more than capable of bearing the weight for a short while. There are others behind her in the hallway, more volunteers because their people are counting on them and this is the best part of the SGC, he thinks, these people.

Trevor looks up at Alfredo, feels himself smile at the raised eyebrow.

Cocky bastard, Alfredo.

Thinks up his crafty little plans and all the confidence in the world they’ll work.

Trevor gets his feet under him, lets Alfredo take over for a bit. Go over to Harper and the others while he helps Lindsay get Gavin up and moving. Still half asleep, hair going every which way and they’re quite a motley little group, his team.

That vise that’s had a grip on his heart since they got word something had gone wrong squeezes just that much more because they’re missing a few key pieces, aren't they.

“Stop thinkin’ so much, Alfredo says, easing up next to Trevor to place a guiding hand on his elbow as he escorts him to the elevators. “You’re going to break something.”

Trevor rolls his eyes, reluctant smile tugging at his mouth for the old joke between them. (Trevor and Alfredo exploring another planet and all kinds of new shinies to play with and no idea what any of it was beyond exciting as hell.)

“I’m a scientist,” he says, careful, deliberate enunciation. “Thinking is what I do, man.”

Alfredo slides a look at him, and yes, okay. Not his best comeback.

Not back then, and certainly not now.

“Yeah, well.” Alfredo shrugs, stepping back to let another group of scientists out of the elevator when the doors open. Polite little greetings and the like, and then he's gently ushering Trevor inside once it's empty, Lindsay and Gavin slipping in behind them. “Take it down a notch for now, okay? We’ve got it covered.”

Trevor sighs, because Alfredo’s not wrong.

The SGC only recruits the best and brightest, and anyone not up to the job?

Well.

The learning curve here is far too steep, and they’ve lost far too many good people over the years. The ones who are still with them have proven to be remarkably resilient and resourceful. Harder to kill than most out of sheer pigheaded stubbornness. (Ryan and Michael are prime examples.)

“I’ll see what I can do,” Trevor says, ignoring Alfredo’s tired little laugh because it really is the best he can promise for now.

[whumpstation]

Whumptober Day 3 - Insomnia

So this is number 2 for the night. this one kind of got away from me, especially the beginning part, but oh well. XD Insomnia is one of my favorite things to write, probably because I suffer from it so often that it feels good to torture my favorite characters with it. Once again, only proofed once, so any mistakes are mine and will be fixed later. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think! I love reading comments!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whumptober Day 3 - Insomnia

Series: Stargate Atlantis

Words: 2037

ETA: ~ 2 hours

      He couldn’t breathe! The water…it was rising to fast. He was going to drown! He thought he might’ve had a chance; that they would’ve gotten to him in time, but he had to admit to himself that he was indeed wrong this time. Help wasn’t coming, and Rodney McKay really hated being wrong. However, he hated dying even more than being wrong. It was pretty close between the two if he was honest with himself – dying and being wrong. It flipped back and forth from day to day, but right now dying was absolutely number one on his ‘I hate this’ list. What’s worse was that he was going to die alone. Alone, in the dark, underwater – cold, numb and scared out of his mind. He wished he could at least have someone to talk to before he drowned. It wouldn’t have saved him, but it would’ve given him some comfort to have a friendly voice to send him to oblivion.

    The water was almost to his nose, and he knew that any second it would submerge him completely. He couldn’t help but panic, breathing through his nose as fast and as deeply as he could. It was nonsensical, but he couldn’t help but take in the last precious seconds of air. Then the water engulfed him in its cold embrace and he went from panic to complete freak out in 1.2 seconds. He thrashed as he held his breath and tried desperately to find a way out of the jumper, even though he knew it was hopeless. He couldn’t make it to the surface with what little air was in his lungs, and even if he could, he would have no time to decompress on the way up, and he would die from the Benz before he even made it to the surface.

    It was probably only seconds, but it felt like an eternity later when he felt his lungs begin to burn and strain against his chest. Begging him for oxygen; begging him to breathe! He tried his best to convince them that that was a VERY bad idea, but they eventually overrode him, and he took an involuntary breath in – instantly choking on the water that now flooded his lungs. That started a vicious cycle of trying to expel the water, only for more to flood back in. It was torture in as true a sense of the word could mean, and Rodney soon felt himself slipping away.

    His final thoughts were of his colleagues, his team, his friends, and his sister. How he wished he could’ve said goodbye. Could’ve told them how much they actually meant to him. How much he enjoyed their companionship, friendship and love. An eerie kind of peace swelled through Rodney for a moment and he clung to it for as long as he could, before his body made one more ditch effort to try to survive. He thrashed once more in the thick water, but eventually everything just faded away.

    Rodney bolted up in his chair with a strangled gasp. He had to grip the table before him to keep from falling to the floor. His breathing was harsh and much too quick to be considered normal, and he would hate to have Carson see him right now. The genius shivered as he locked his eyes on the far wall of his lab in Atlantis and did the breathing exercises that helped him so well in times of stress.

    ‘It’s okay. You’re not underwater. You didn’t drown. John and Radek saved you. Stop being stupid! You’re fine.’ Rodney mentally berated himself as he slowly but surely got his breathing under control. This was getting ridiculous. It had been week since the jumper incident, and yet he was still having these nightmares every time he closed his eyes. He knew he should go talk to someone, tell someone, but he was figured he could just as well just work himself into a coma and accomplish almost the same thing. He was fairly certain the nightmares would stop – eventually – and then he could just get on with his life. However, the nightmares where getting worse every night. He was so tired from only being able to sleep a few minutes here and there that it was beginning to show. He couldn’t survive on catnaps; he knew it and he knew that his friends knew it.

    He was so caught up in his musings that he didn’t hear the door swish open and footsteps make their way over to his side. Only when he felt a hand on his shoulder did he notice that someone was there, and quite violently at that. Rodney gasped, and spun his head around to see how was there, only to be overtaken by a head rush of massive proportions and sway dangerously on his work chair. He was certain he would’ve fallen had the person with him not had such good grip on him. After the room stopped spinning, Rodney opened his eyes and came face to face with a very concerned Colonel John Sheppard.

    “McKay? Are you alright there, buddy?” John asked almost hesitantly, as he looked McKay up and down a few times. Man, he looked like crap. The bags under his eyes would be considered carryon at this point, and he looked like he hadn’t had a good meal in ages. John had been concerned before, what with McKay virtually disappearing after being released from the infirmary a few days ago. He tried to corner the man several times, but McKay always seemed to have a knack for avoiding him when he wanted to. John decided here and now though, by whatever means necessary, he would get his Rodney McKay back.

    Rodney stared blankly at John for a minute longer than he probably should have. His brain sluggish in trying to understand the question it was being asked, and why John was even there in the first place. The military man avoided the labs whenever he could. It made no sense why he would come down on his own, unless something was wrong. Oh! Something was wrong! Maybe the city was under attack, or sinking! He had to help! McKay tried to get to his feet, only to have them fold like partially set jello beneath him. Once again he found himself being supported by the Air Force Colonel, and set back on his seat.

    “Whoa there McKay! Take it easy. Where do you think you’re going in such a rush?” John asked as he looked critically into Rodney’s eyes.

    “The…the city. Have…to help,” Rodney croaked out as he shook his head to clear the fog that had suddenly settled there. He couldn’t lose it now, the city, the expedition needed him.

    John looked confused. “The city? The city’s fine, buddy, for once. Nothing needs fixing or saving at the moment. We’re all good – well, maybe not all of us. When was the last time you slept?”

    McKay was instantly on alert and he tried to sit up a little taller in his seat to appear more put together than he felt. “Just woke up. I’m fine.”

    John looked unconvinced to say the least. “Yeah, I mean actual sleep, not passed out at your laptop for 10 minutes.” John sighed and began to rub the back of McKay’s neck. “Look buddy, I’ll be honest. You look like shit, and we’re all worried about you. How about we take a trip to your quarters and see what we can do about that, yeah?” John said as he started to peel Rodney off his chair. He had to take most of the scientist’s weight, but he was prepared for such an outcome. The man was beyond exhausted, which was no surprise after almost a week’s worth of insomnia.

    As they began to make their way out of the lab, Rodney shook his head slightly and tried to stop his team leader from dragging his butt to bed. He knew he needed to sleep, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t face those nightmares again. Not so soon after just having one. John shushed him though and kept them moving. “It’s alright, Rodney. I promise, it’s all okay. Just a few more feet….or meters…whatever you Canadians use.” John said at a light attempt at humor, but it seemed to go right over his genius’ head, which was disconcerting to say the least.

    When they finally made it to Rodney’s room, the scientist went from near ragdoll, to the immovable object. He somehow found an untapped reserve of strength neither knew he had, and he stood just inside the door, staring at his bed as if he was the nastiest, meanest wraith he had ever seen. He shook his head violently as he tried to back out of the room, but John was there to stop him and coax him forward. “Hey. Rodney! Easy buddy. I’m not going to leave, okay? I’m going to be right here the whole time, but you seriously need some sleep. Come on, one foot after the other,” Sheppard coaxed as he gently pushed Rodney towards the bed.

    As they neared the bed, Rodney suddenly turned to face John and dug his trembling hands into John’s shirt. He shook his head, and the broken, scared look on his face when he looked up at his leader broke John’s heart into a million tiny pieces. “Please John…please! I…I can’t do this. Please. Let me go back to my lab. I swear, I’m fine. Please, John…please…please…” Rodney begged and sobbed into John’s chest as the pent up fear and exhaustion hit him like a Mack truck.

    John’s resolved redoubled as he held the sobbing genius in his arms, rocking him back and forth as he slowly lowered them both onto the bed. They went from sitting to lying down over the next few minutes, and by the time John was tangled in the sobbing mess that was Rodney McKay; he had somehow managed to get both their boots and McKay’s jacket off.

    John continued to hold Rodney to his chest; allowing the man to cry to his heart’s content. John knew eventually Rodney would cry himself out, but he just hoped that it would be enough to allow the man more than a few fleeting moments of rest. He continued to rub Rodney’s back slowly, as he shushed him kindly, “I’m right here. You’re safe. Just go to sleep, buddy. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

    He wasn’t sure how long this went on, but John sighed in relief as he felt Rodney relax completely onto his chest; his hands no longer gripping him tightly and his breathing evening out. He dared a look and met utterly exhausted eyes staring up at him. “John…” the scientist whispered hoarsely, “Please…don’t go.”

    John couldn’t help himself. He wanted so much to comfort his friend that he didn’t think twice when he gently laid a small peck on the man’s forehead and held him a little bit tighter. “You got it buddy. Anything you want. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe, and nothing; not wraith or water will hurt you as long as I’m around. Just close your eyes buddy. I’ll make sure the nightmares keep their distance. Just get some sleep.”

    McKay held his breath for a moment before exhaling deeply and completely going lax in John’s arms. He knew it was over. He couldn’t fight this anymore. A week of stress induced insomnia was coming to an end, and he had to say, he actually didn’t mind. As long as John was there, it seemed like an okay idea to maybe try this sleeping thing again. He yawned long and hard as his eyes closed and refused to open, no matter how much he tried. He could still feel John rubbing his back, and it was soothing. He wanted so much to tell John how much he appreciated his friendship and what he was doing for him now and on so many missions in the past, but he just felt so fuzzy all of a sudden, and before he was even aware of it, he was finally and truly asleep.

[rantingoverbadfic]

‘Fork in the road’ absolutism

The are certain kinds of fandom - and this is not a value judgement, this is simply due to how canon developed - that have a large cluster of fic that can be loosely defined as “pitting one group against another and there is no middle ground”.

Stargate is one such polarizing fandom. I remember that for one time the declassification and its aftermath trope was a standard feature in Big Bangs. What it essentially does is pit “Earth first” mentality against “we are part of a galactic community and have to play nice with others” mentality and depending on what bug bit the author at that moment the fic takes either a turn towards a dark dystopia where Earthlings react to the declassification very badly and World War III breaks out, or alternatively they band together in the face of the rest of the galaxy and bomb any chance at alliances - and thus  a chance of Earth surviving not-Earth-native threats into oblivion. The moral is “Declassification bad, no secret ever is worth being revealed because otherwise we are all going to die. The secrecy justifies the fascist state of mind and being; oversight, what oversight.” Or the declassification is very tightly controlled and overall Earthlings surprise the SGC with being much more accepting and appreciative of aliens and of the SGC-veterans than they expected. Usually, of course, with a smattering of nutjobs and fundamentalists, but overall pretty positive. Moral: “Declassification good and the public has the right to know where their money is spent, and as a rule of a thumb, humans are pretty chill.”

In reality, humanity has been debating alien life for several decades already and hashed out pretty much every major approach, and there will be enough alien-lovers and alien-haters, and if someone wants to kill people or push their ideology, they will find a reason, whether it is aliens or mexicans or some other outgroup. And personally, I am of the opinion, that if you start a program that you have no intention of ever making public, while funding it with tax dollars and using public ressources, then don’t.

From what I have seen, The Sentinel fandom circumvented the whole drama of “Jim is the only known sentinel and he will treated as a lab experiment” and “there are other sentinels who need help therefore Blair is morally obligated to make his research public” completely, simply stating as a premise for the majority of fic that “Sentinels and Guides are known and have an established global network”. Or going full canon with Jim - and maybe a handful of other Guides/Sentinels that are personally known to Jim and/or Blair. As far as I have seen, there is no (or barely menioned) inbetween-fic, where Jim and Blair start establishing this network and fighting for Sentinel/Guide rights and accomodations. But this is a fandom I came to after it’s heyday and know mostly as a worldbuilding fandom, not as a fandom in its own right.

Another such fandom is Harry Potter. There is the tenor of the books, that makes a case for an integration of muggleborn wix into wizarding society and propagating the “separate but equal” mentality. (Which while iffy, I can at least somewhat understand. If they were truly treated as equal, then it would actually help magicals and muggles to co-exist peacefully.) Though, to be fair, I haven’t actually seen fic so far that works with the concept of wix being known to muggles, like in The Sentinel. Would be interesting to see different takes on it. Because I have seen several examples of the opposite already where either the muggles who find out about wizards unwittingly are absolutely pantsshittingly terrified of this group of people who have the ability to mindwipe and gaslight people and make evidence disappear with absolutely no recourse. And where wix are being fearmongered by muggles finding out about them and bombing the shit out of known wizard spaces. There seems to be no middle ground, where muggles might be startled but go “Wow!!! Wow. okay. Now, back to our usual bullshit, this time with an extra heap of speculation if maybe a wizard did it.” It never seems to occur that maybe wizards will be just a one day, one week max sensation and then be folded into the dull minutiae of life, especially since there are already a lot of muggles in the know. (Actually, Stargate is much more problematic in that way, because only the president and later the heads of the states in the IOA are in the know, but barely anyone else, whether it is the Congress or heads of different agencies or services. In HP it is at least indicated that the Prime Minister isn’t the only one in the know, but that there are actually some people in overlapping structures who are read in/supposed to be read in, even if it seems to be mostly non-functional at the time of the book events.)

My difficulty with the seclusionist approach is that it is codswallop. As long as the wizarding world is dependent on the muggle one for several things - because magical societies are too small to be autark despite the use of magic, they need access to muggles more than muggles need them. And as long as there are muggleborn magicals, they need access wizard spaces and wizarding society, or they might as well not bother with the Statute of Secrecy at all. And if magicals retreat into a pocket dimension or onto another planet or what not, they are either deciding to abandon those muggleborns and prefer to starve - or they give away that, actually, they are not all that concerned with theft and assault and kidnapping, so long as it serves their own interests, and lose their moral high ground. As unsatisfying the separatist approach is, at least it gives muggleborn and muggle-raised magicals the ability to choose what world they want to live in and to keep contact with their friends and families. Which, somehow, never is a consideration when well-meaning supposedly light magicals start propagating retreat into a pocket dimension.

I wonder why these ‘fork in the road’ scenarios are always treated in such absolutes. Why does it have to be “death to muggles!” or “death to magicals!”, instead of “maybe if we stopped treating muggles worse than house-elves, they wouldn’t be so inclined to drop a bomb on us”; why does it have to be “declassification yay!” or “declassification nay!” instead of “declassification meh: the good, the bad and the ugly”. I understand the drama inherent in pitting two factions against each other, but fanfic was always more about the fix-it than about indulging the inner Joss impulse to kill the fan favorites and torture the rest.

[pyrot3ch-nick]

What's the approximate timeline of the Fandom you were/are into? How far back can you go?

Late 1990ish- 2005ish:

TV/Anime/Movies: Digimon, Pokemon, YuGiOh, Lots of Mexican Teen Novelas, Saint Seiya, YuYu Hakusho, Inuyasha, Sailor Moon, Pirates of the Caribbean, Supernatural (I was in 4th grade btw), Charmed, Doctor Who when it aired in the USA (Christopher Eccleston), Power Rangers. Dragon Tales, Disney Animated Movies, Xena: Warrior Princess, Hercules Live action series.

Books/Manga/Graphic Novels: Circle of Magic novels, Bailey School Kids series, Saint Seiya

Video Games: Prince of Persia, Final Fantasy X, Age of Empires, Roller Coaster Tycoon, Zoo Tycoon

Musicals and Theater: Cats, Beauty and the Beast, Cirque du Soleil

2005-2010:

Books/Manga/Graphic Novels: Power of 5 series, Alex Rider Series, Stravaganza novel series, The Dark-Hunter/Dream-Hunter/Dream Chaser series and most of the Sherrilyn Kenyon novels, Twilight, The Hunger Games series, Percy Jackson series, Eragon (Inheritance Cycle), Inkspell, Children of the Lamp, Sword of Truth series, Claymore, +Anima

TV/Anime/Films: Harry Potter, Transformers, Legend of the Seeker, Huntik, Winx, WITCH, Shaman King, Degrassi: Next Generation, Last Airbender

Musicals: Wicked, Bye Bye Birdie.

Video Games: God of War series, Kingdom Hearts, Heavenly Sword, Mortal Kombat, Marvel vs Capcom, Darksiders, Assassin Creed, Darksiders, Dante's Inferno, Star Wars: Force Unleashed.

2010-2015: (The years we finally got cable tv)

TV/Anime/Movies: Jersey Shore, DCOMs, Teen Wolf, Survivor, Tower Prep, Unnatural History, Level Up, Star Wars, Stargate, Star Trek, Warehouse 13, Haven, Lost Girl, Young Justice, Chopped

Books: Reread a lot of my older books. Star Wars Expanded Universe Books.

Musicals: Rent, Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Book of Mormon, Avenue Q

Video Games: Replayed a lot of my older games. Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Skyrim, Dragon Age, Dark Souls, Demon Souls, HALO

Web Originals: Red Vs Blue, RWBY, CampCamp, Rooster Teeth, Achievement Hunter, Funhaus. XKCD web comics.

2015-Present:

TV/Anime/Movies: Star Wars movies, Marvel Movies, Super Girl, The Flash, Green Arrow, True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Lucifer, Full Metal Alchemist, Is it Wrong to Pick-up Girls in a Dungeon, Konosuba, Yuri on Ice, Steven Universe

Books: Stormlight Archive, Priest

Musicals: Newsies, Dear Evan Hansen, Be More Chill, Next to Normal,

Web Originals: Critical Role, Dan and Phil.

It's safe to assume that I forgot a lot, that if there are CrossMedia adaptations then I watched/played/read it, and that I'm still in said fandoms if newer material has come out.

Feel free to follow me if you like/liked any of these as well.

(No need to tag anyone if you don't want to. I'm not)

[atlantis-scribe]

whoo okay for the character thing: atlantis. as in, the city itself, as a character, if you're okay with that. and/or john, which seemed almost too easy to go for first thing, but i would still love to hear your thoughts. <3

hi there inge!! don't worry I'll do both because you trying to pick my brain is such an honor (also no one else asked for john yet booo)

ATLANTIS

first impression: tbh the fics spoiled me so much because when I finally watched the show I was a bit disappointed that the city wasn't really as sentient and 'alive' as some of the stories out there made me believe. I think they missed a shiny opportunity there (but hey, we pick up where canon left off right? *wink)

impression now: I LOVE THIS BITCH! 'but Kit,' you may ask, 'how much do you love her?' well. I was JUST ABOUT to have a tattoo of a minimalist map of Atlantis before the pandemic hit, so I'd say the love is pretty great (don't worry, I'm still gonna get it I just need to sort a few things out with the friend I was gonna get the tattoo with, so as soon as our schedules align and he stops bailing on me, I'm gonna have Atlantis on my skin for the rest of my natural life)

favorite moment: ughhh it's hard to pick between the one from Rising and when they left Lantea to flee the replicators BUT. if I have to really choose I'd say the latter because it's really the first time we become truly aware that Atlantis is a spaceship, you know? their home is made to be among the stars (but in the interest of staying true to the Atlantis-As-A-Character mindset, I find Quarantine so funny because giiirl come ooonn why are you initiating the lockdown protocol for no reason?? you're smarter than that! you're sabotaging McKay's love life!! hahah)

idea for a story: ohmygosh so many!! I actually have another series in mind that is my way of dealing not only with the concept of Sentient!Atlantis but also with my hang-ups & misgivings regarding the Ancients as a race and the whole deal with the Ori (from SG-1). I don't know when I'm gonna actually start taking it seriously but since I don't think my love for the show(s) is waning any time soon I think we'll get there eventually (for now, Stargate Oblivion is the only outlet for my Atlantis love and while it isn't the only focus of that fic it is pretty integral)

unpopular opinion: I've mentioned this a few times in this blog but I really don't think Atlantis is 'alive' in a human kind of way or even in a conventional AI way, either. she's always gonna be 'alien' so to put her in a neat box where we give her Earth attributes and assume she loves ATA gene carriers like her children/lover(s) is just too easy for me. I need more moral ambiguity and cosmic+eldritch-ness to it.

favorite relationship(s): w/ the command triumvirate (i.e. Rodney, John, and Elizabeth) the men are pretty self-explanatory but Elizabeth is also very important to me because this is the city's governess! her captain!! (can you imagine if instead of punting her out via a space gate they made her part of Atlantis? like in a pseudo-symbiotic kind of way?? that would've been so cool to see! ethically horrifying but eh, they might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb lol)

favorite headcanon: I just really like the idea that Atlantis is unnerved by John because he's too much like the people who created (and abandoned) her :)

JOHN

first impression: the early Stargate BFNs were sooo good at writing John's drawl-y inner monologue & voice that 'Laconic Little Shit with Terrible Posture' is pretty much how I saw John Sheppard those first few weeks of reading fic. I decided early on that even if I'm not gonna like him that much when I finally watch the show, the fact that he's an adrenaline junkie who likes ferris wheels & football and who took American Military Repression to another galaxy is a guarantee that he is My Kind of Weird.

impression now: John's ultimately become the mouthpiece and vessel of my fanworks not only because he's the best vehicle for my Rodney Love but also because his personality and mindspace is the easiest for me to slip into. I relate to him the most and while that doesn't necessarily mean I love him unconditionally (in fact there are more times when I want to pick him up and shake him like a maraca for the decisions he makes) it does give me a deep and sort-of intrinsic understanding of his character that --- while sometimes painful --- gives me hope for a happy and fulfilling life for people like Sheppard and myself

favorite moment: it changes on a monthly basis but lately I keep finding myself marinating in the feels brought by, "Do me a favor. When Atlantis shows up, tell them I said goodbye." (granted Rodney's reaction was hilarious but that line still hit me with 50 points of emotional damage)

idea for a story: heh. really, there's too many to mention. but the first long one-shot I have planned for 2022 is about an AU Sheppard showing up in Atlantis tho so that should be fun

unpopular opinion: hmm probably that I just can't see him being the head of the expedition. he has shown leadership skills in canon but having him be where the buck stops is a little too reaching (also among the reasons why I still have trouble properly reading Written by the Victors)

favorite relationship: McShep aside, his friendships with Teyla & Elizabeth are GOLDEN. I actually have that kind of friendship myself (where I have a dude in my life I trust enough to get me out of a beaming device where I'm stuck with an entire civilization or even to make the hard call of leaving me behind with the enemy to save our people) and let me tell you, it is one of life's greatest treasures <3

favorite headcanon: had a pretty religious (maybe even Catholic because if I'm gonna be projecting here I might as well go all the way) upbringing

send me a character

[atlantis-scribe]

Under the cut are the Stargate things I did this year. Yay me!

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[ FANFIC ]

sliding doors (1/1) [ posted 12 January 2020 ]

For every person, there comes a moment, seemingly unimportant and inconsequential, that can forever change the rest of their lives.

For John Sheppard, this moment has always been just waiting for him. The question is whether or not he takes it, and how long he has until it finally gives up on him.

This one was inspired by the JJ x Reid plot twist in Criminal Minds (CM). I grew up watching CM, so it made perfect sense in my head to mix the shows together. It also seemed fitting, since post-series McShep looks to be heading towards a similar storyline with what happened to JJ and Reid. Sometimes, two people just aren’t going to end up together, feelings and regrets and longing notwithstanding :(

edge of a precipice (1/1) [ posted 5 June 2020 ]

There’s a reason why John never crosses the line.

I just really had to practice writing Pining!John (and John voice). That’s it; no other excuse. I also wanted to see if I can write a first kiss between them that makes sense in my head, one that can happen organically. It ended up a little too melancholic for my taste, but I’m glad I got to put it down.

archimedes in love (1/1) [ posted 20 June 2020 ]

John is trying to make things easier for the both of them.

Rodney, it turns out, has never really learned to do anything the easy way.

This was really difficult to write, not only because doing Rodney POV requires so much brainpower and vocabulary (as opposed to John voice, which is an exercise in casual and practiced emotional restraint) but also because I wanted angst, but not too much, you know? (This was also when I noticed I tended to daydream about post-canon scenarios. Seriously, show. You ended way too soon.) I’m pretty happy with the result, though, even if it wasn’t exactly how I pictured it would be when I started it.

off the record (1/1) [ posted 17 July 2020 ]

“I’m drunk,” Rodney declares, knowing that resistance is futile with Tower 5-C already listing ten degrees to the right.

“Yeah?” There’s a serious note to Sheppard’s voice, prompting Rodney to turn and face him. Blinking slowly, he finds the other man’s gaze fixed on something just above Rodney’s left ear. When Sheppard speaks again, the sound comes out almost ominous. “Good.”

(Or: Rodney and John share a bottle of Athosian ruus wine, and talk about things they won’t remember in the morning.)

My favorite one-shot title! Also inspired by that sweet-but-gutting scene from Crash Landing On You, where the leads had a drinking session and allowed themselves to be honest under the guise of not being able to remember anything the next day. What can I say, I love angst. Nothing new.

maybe next time (1/1) [ posted 28 July 2020 ]

Unbeknownst to the two of them, there had been five times when Rodney and John almost met.

I surprised myself with how quickly I wrote this. One sitting, about two hours tops. This was a fun little exercise for me, with the canon details I had to incorporate to make it realistic. Also pretty proud of the title ;)

in retrospect (1/1) [ posted 28 November 2020 ]

Tony Stark owes someone an apology, but finding the guts to say sorry is proving to be the least of his problems.

Always wanted to do my own MCU fusion after reading Siria’s The Things We Did and Didn't Do. (Read it if you guys haven’t yet!) It’s going to be a series, with heavy emphasis on Rodney & Tony’s dynamic. So excited for the other installments and really bummed that I’m not as prolific a writer as some of y’all are. Alas, we work with what we have.

Stargate Oblivion (5/?) [ 10 April 2020 - present ]

Fifteen years after John Sheppard left Atlantis for good, the Stargate Program is finally ready to go public.

In the ensuing chaos, sixteen-year-old Paula Jane McKay is thrown in the middle of sinister plots, complicated loyalties, and old secrets that will force her to choose between her beloved city and the planet she has spent her whole life yearning for.

Ah, the fic that continues to eat my brain. I will finish this if it’s the last thing I do, I swear. It’s sort of a way for me to play with time jump, original characters, the restrictive nature of canon compliance, and what happens to soulmates after being apart for so long (to name a few elements). It’s basically a love story 20 years in the making that I only hope doesn’t take me just as long to write lol

SIX SENTENCE SUNDAYS

This was exciting for the first few weeks, until I caught myself being anxious over what to write next and it sucked the fun out of the whole exercise. It did help me practice writing short pieces, and rest assured I’ll post another one if something shiny comes up.

MCSHEP AUs

Crash Landing On You

My Love From The Star

Also known as, ‘How to Hack Kit’s Brain’. This really helped me deal with the countless plot bunnies that keep popping up in my brain. I have a lot of these on queue, each one meant to satisfy my curiosity without committing to writing a full-length fic. Unless specified otherwise, these little ficlets aren’t going to be complete stories. I’m giving everyone carte blanche to pick up whatever you find interesting and to write your own version/continuation. Just drop me a link to your story so I can gush about it :)

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[ REC LISTS ]

Kit's 2020 McShep Fic Rec List [ AO3 | Tumblr ]

Halloween 2020 Rec List [ Link ]

So happy a lot of people loved the fic recs. Join (or rejoin, for OG McShep fans) me in my downward spiral, folks. I have no plans whatsoever to look for the end of the tunnel  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[ STARGATE SIDEBLOG ]

atlantis-scribe

Of course, my favorite accomplishment of the year: this little sideblog. The pandemic has been rough for everyone (unless you’re Jeff or Elon, and if you are, can you pls fund the Stargate reboot?), so I’m really just happy to spread good vibes all around. This has been my most active participation in any fandom, so I may be a little awkward when it comes to interacting with other people. Forgive me if I violate some well-established rules; I’m trying to educate myself along the way. I really am just perfectly happy to provide whatever content I can, and people’s comments/tags/messages are simply icing on the cake.

Whatever reason you guys may have, I’m delighted to have you over. Grab a seat; let’s talk about stars and gates ;)

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