#if all else fails be mean to yourself bc at least that's familiar
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I've had people swear to me up and down that at like ages 22-25 a switch just flipped in their brains and they turned from stupid teens into mindful adults and like. Cool. My constant anxiety and other issues forced me to grow up faster than my peers and yet I'm still a retarded piece of shit that can't solve any of his own problems bc I've trapped myself in an infinite loop of cyclical reasoning for why I can't have nice things. I don't think made up brain chemistry is gonna help. Just let me go to work and do it badly like God intended until I can die a tragic death like the sad but ultimately useless and irrelevant NPC that I am.
I can't keep having the same conversations about love languages, mbti, iq, bmi, "brain fully formed at 25" and shit over and over again...
#ramblings of a madman#im sorry guys but night shifts have got me fucked#i dont even have one now im just stuck in night shift mode so now thanks to insomnia you get to read me mope#you know when i do this whole âlife sucksâ thing i always feel like I'm having an angst relapse or something#if all else fails be mean to yourself bc at least that's familiar#btw literally half of this is inspired by me being angy at myself for being a pussy snd then being angry at myself for being angry at myself#bc i know it isnt my fault my mom just put the fear of anyone with authority in me so now i have absolutely no backbone at all#my fucking eyes burn but i can't sleep
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hiiiihiiiihiiihiiihhihihihican u pls pls plssss write about ben shelton and a pretty tennis player fem reader who's rlly good at tennis esp for her height bc shes quite short and she's kinda cheeky and playful and sort of has ben whipped for her like wherever she is, he's there trying to talk to her and shes popular and stuff pls this is such a cute n funny idea you can write as much as you want pls im BEGGINGGG
my rose coloured boy
đ§ ïč âĄïča ben shelton oneshot ïč ᶻ ᶻ
đ/đ§: this is SOSOSOOO cute thank you for the request oh my godddd AND it was so much fun to write anon youâre a genius. accidentally made it a bit angsty, but ofc thereâs a happy ending. anyway enjoy lovelies xxx
requests are always open <3
in which: ben is desperate for your attention, whether you like it or not.
words: 1.1k
request: anon!
đ°đđ«đ§đąđ§đ đŹ: none!
đ§đšđ° đ©đ„đđČđąđ§đ : take a chance on me - abba
you exited the changing rooms of the centre court of roland garros, accompanied by your friend and fellow tennis player, coco guaff. your bag was slung over your shoulder as you used your towel to wipe your face down, attempting in vain to rid yourself of the post-match mental rollercoaster. but you knew cocoâs charming stories always kept you from overthinking. at least for a moment, anyway.
as you spoke to her, giggling and gossiping, a familiar voice reached your ears, his perfect florida accent already making your heart beat faster.
âoi, shortie!â
âhm? oh, hey ben.â you said, immediately recognising the nickname, as you turned to face your fellow tennis player, looking up at the taller man.
he smiled at the sheer sight of you, running a hand through his unruly mop of curls. âyou played well today.â he said with a sweet grin, admiring you, despite the beads of sweat that stayed stubbornly on your forehead and the loose ponytail your hair had been haphazardly thrown into.
âi lost.â you said, in a failed attempt at sounding nonchalant, depsite the lossâ effect on you.
âand?â he said, his unfairly long eyelashes fluttering in mock innocence. âi still think you played well.â he added as he joined the two of you as you walked towards the car park.âbesides,â he continued, quietly admiring your side profile. âyou always play well.â
âyeah. youâre a top 10 player for a reason, yâknow.â coco chimed in, giving you a little elbow in the ribs.
âexactly.â ben said, nodding wisely as he spoke. âanyone would be blessed to play against you, whether you win or lose.â
after managing a few more moments of benâs over exaggerated praise, coco made some hasty excuse about her dog, clearly keen to avoid third wheeling the two of you any longer. you and ben stood in silence as you watched her hurry away, probably to gossip with frances tiafoe and taylor fritz about the horrendously obvious flirting sheâs just endured.
â⊠you donât have to compliment me, yâknow.â you say, as the silence became uncomfortable and almost claustrophobic.
âwhat? coco and i are justââ he started, before you cut him off.
âno, i mean, you. every time you speak to me, itâs like you compliment me every time thereâs a second of silence.â
â⊠oh.â ben said quietly, looking at you sheepishly. âdo you ⊠not like it?â
âwell, yeah ⊠but after a while, it just feels ⊠fake.â
â⊠oh.â he said again. he was silent for a moment, like he couldnât manage to say anything else, like a broken record. â⊠sorry.â he managed eventually, his singular word almost a whisper, his eyes trained firmly on his sneakers, gently scuffing the tips on the car park road.
âno, donât apologise.â you say quickly, scrambling for a way to wipe the sad, pouty look off his face that practically broke your heart. âi love when you compliment me, i just ⊠donât want you to feel like you have to give me praise all the time, yâknow?â
he looked back at you bashfully. â⊠well, as long as you donât find it annoying.â he said, before his pout turned into a smug smile. âthen i can give you as many compliments as i want.â
you almost let out a sigh of relief at the return of his signature lopsided grin, and laughed a bit at his proud tone. âoh yeah?â
âyeah.â he said, crossing his arms across his broad chest. âgonna give you all the compliments in the world.â
you laugh again at his toddler-like stubbornness. âiâd like to see you try.â you said, mocking him by crossing your arms in the same smug action.
he let out a deep laugh at your response. âwell, be prepared, because youâre about to be showered in praise like youâve never been before.â
he made a dramatic show of stretching his arms, cracking his knuckles, before suddenly, wrapping an arm around your waist, and lifting you up into his arms. he hooked an arm underneath your knees, now holding you bridal style in the middle of an empty car park.
âoi, ben!â you nearly screeched as he smiled innocently at you. âwhat, my love?â he said, the pet name rolling of his tongue before he could stop it. he seemed to realise what he said, going a deep shade of red as you felt his arms tense underneath you. he stilled for a moment, looking practically mortified.
you smile at his embarrassment, despite having equally red cheeks. âwhat happened? thought you were going to shower me with compliments, my love?â you tease, turning the pet name back on him with a smirk.
your words seem to snap him out of a trance, and he looked at you with a grin. âoh, you donât even know whatâs coming.â
he fixed his grip around your waist, before announcing loudly to the empty surrounds. âi love your eyes. i love your smile. i love the way you laugh. i love the music you listen to, even if it sucks. i love the ribbons you wear in your hair. i love the way you scream when you score an important point during a match.â he started smugly, and began placing gentle kisses to your face to punctuate each point.
âi love the way you dress.â a kiss to your left cheek.
âi love how short you are.â a kiss to your right cheek.
âi love your handwriting.â a kiss to your forehead.
âi love how passionate you are about stupid, small things that donât matter.â a kiss to your chin.
âi love watching you play tennis.â a kiss to the tip of your nose.
âokay, my music does not suck, and i am not short, andââ you began in protest, before ben interrupted you by pressing his lips to yours. finally.
ben kissed you gently, like he was worried youâd pull away, but you pulled him closer to you, desperately letting the feeling of the kiss consume you.
after what get like an eternity, you both gently spilt apart, leaving the two of you breathless and gasping for air.
â⊠well, now iâm going to have to give you the same amount of compliments.â you managed after a moment, your words still breathy and forced.
ben let a cheesy smile grace his face at your words, a soft giggle escaping him. âitâs okay, shortie.â he said, looking down at you, still held close in his arms. âweâve got time.â
#-ËËâââ đžđ°đłđŹđŽ .á#x reader#ben shelton x reader#ben shelton fic#ben shelton imagine#quite proud of this one hope you like it anon đ€
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âthe love bug. (m)
ⶠpairing: jungkook x reader
ⶠgenre: spiderman!jungkook + fluff / smut
ⶠwords: 20,649 (sorry)
ⶠrating: 18+
ⶠsummary: every night, jungkook puts on the red mask and flings himself confidently into perilous danger; but that same heart of steel that fuels his will and spirit seems to fail him whenever it comes to youÂ
ⶠwarnings: coarse language, mild violence, jungkook is really shy and cute and dumb bc heâs so smitten, also jungkookâs butt in spandex is nice, needy/clingy sex, oral sex (fem!receiving), face riding, fingering, riding, missionary, unprotected sex
ⶠdisclaimer: this is a repost of a fic i had on my old blog!Â
You see Jungkook every night without fail.
When the sun has set below the distant horizon and plunges the world into a formidable darkness, driving most ordinary civilians to seek shelter in their homes, he stumbles into the café tucked cozily on the corner of a busy street in Lower Manhattan. The concrete city is still very much alive in a harmonious mix of sirens and the hum of cars but is subdued, muffling under the night sky and is most susceptible at this time to misconduct. Usually, at this point of night, the café you work at is nearly empty, save for a few stragglers that huddle tiredly at certain round tables. Most times, these are students from the university you attend just around the bend, whose weary eyes peer over the laptop in front of them as they meticulously work on an essay due the next morning, only fueled by the cup of coffee next to them.
Though youâve seen Jungkook plenty of times around the campus of your school, he never once enters the cafĂ© for the sole purpose of late night studying or writing. Instead, as you come to find over the course of many strange nights, Jungkook stumbles in through the doors sometime after 9 p.m., always with one strap of his backpack thrown over his shoulder. He always looks dishevelled, exhausted, as if he has spent the evening running all over the city of New York; and then he plops himself down into a seat by the window, burying his head in his folded arms that lean on the top of the table. Most times he orders a coffee and though he downs it the fastest youâve ever seen, he is still somehow able to fall asleep at the table. Sometimes, he hardly ever touches the coffee and lets it grow cold as it rests next to him but he always, without a doubt, falls asleep next to it.
You never wake him. Usually, when you work the late night shifts, you are alone for a handful of hours until your next coworker arrives for their shift. You donât mind the company anyway, even if he sleeps for most of the night. Itâs comforting to at least see heâs resting, though you find yourself snickering to yourself as you watch the snoring boy when itâs just you and him alone in the cafĂ©. Though you have grown up with Jungkook as your next door neighbour as a child, have attended the same schools and been in most classes together from elementary all the way to your freshman year of college now, and have watched one another mature and change, you have never really exactly gotten to know Jungkook as well as youâd like. Typically, your conversations are short and friendly, ranging from you taking his order at the cafĂ© and spotting him around campus and asking if he knew the answer to a question for the homework assigned to the class you share with him.
This night isnât any different.
Youâve become eager, always anticipating when Jungkook will walk through the doors of the cafĂ© and make himself at home as he routinely does. However, just before 9 p.m. on a Thursday night, when the small bell above the door rings to signal a new arrival, you are immediately disappointed to find that it is not Jungkook. Instead, it is a crude muscular man not much older than you with tattoos that litter his arms and a star inked into the left side of his neck. The sight of him causes you to groan inwardly, forces you to straighten your back a little more, hold your chin a little higher. Most nights the cafĂ© may be occupied by university students, but other nights you are forced to deal with tasteless strangers that try to intimidate you but instead give you an agonising headache.
You have seen this man before, have remembered the star tattoo and the scar just above his right eyebrow. He has come into the café before and has been the source of trouble more often than not. As the man approaches the counter in an imperious stride this time, you notice the smirk that tugs at his lips and feel the foreboding shudder that runs down your spine.
âEveninâ,â You greet. âCan I get you anything?â
The manâs eyes flicker to the menu above the counter, as if he is pondering what to order. He looks back down at you and then leans against the counter, closing the distance between him and you causing you to take a step back.
âHow are you doing tonight, sweetheart?â he asks. âBeen awhile, huh? Did you miss me?â
Forcing a fixed smile on your face, you reply shortly with, âIâve been well. Can I get you anything?â
Apparently, the way you repeat your question in a firm manner doesnât act as well of a hint as you had hoped for the man. Heâs smirking wickedly, clearly enjoying the strain he puts you through.
âI know what you can get me, sweetheart,â he drawls. âWhen do you get off? Maybe we can meet round back and I can show you what a real man is like.â
âNo thanks.â
âPlaying hard to get, hm?â he muses. âI wonder what else that pretty little mouth of yours can do.â
Though you are appalled, you swallow your nerves and narrow your eyes into a glare. It can tell you to kindly fuck off, you grimace to yourself. Instead, you turn your back to him, pretending to occupy yourself with cleaning the counter as you mumble blankly, âNot interested.â
The man chuckles. âCome on, sweetheart. Itâs just a little funââ
âShe said sheâs not interested.â
The familiar voice that interrupts the man causes your heart to leap blithely in your chest and makes you realize you have been so caught up with the man by the counter that you hardly noticed the way the bell rings a second time as the newcomer enters the shop. Standing just behind the man is Jungkook, whose carob hair sticks out in messy tufts and weary eyes are laced with an underlying menace. The man looks from you to Jungkook and must assume the confrontation isnât worth a fight. The smug smile remains on his face even as he shrugs, muttering something along the lines of, âWhatever, man. I was just trying to have some fun.â
Whether or not Jungkook has scared him away, the man relents and retreats to the door of the café, disappearing outside once more. As soon as the door shuts behind him, you come to realize that you are now alone in the café with Jungkook with nothing but the sound of the flat screen t.v that hangs in a corner behind the counter, faintly playing on the news channel.
âYou okay?â he asks, catching your attention. âHe didnât do anything, did he?â
âOh, no. No, Iâm fine,â You say. âThanks for that, by the way. Though I couldâve handled it myself.â
Jungkook chuckles. âI donât doubt that but itâs nice to get a little help sometimes.â
You smile up at the boy who towers above you and, despite the fatigue that droops his eyes, his pink lips still unfurl into a wide, radiant grin that brightens his face.
âHow long are you here for tonight?â he asks.
âTill close. Then I have to head home and put together a powerpoint for psych,â You yawn as if to emphasize your boredom. âWhat can I get you? The usual?â
Jungkook looks at you as if you are his saving grace. The smile stretches further across his cheeks as he nods. âPlease?â
âWill do. Sit tight, Iâll be right over.â
You spin around from behind the counter, almost immediately jumping to work as you rummage through the shelves. When youâre finished making his order that consists solely of a medium black coffee with two sugars and turn back around to face him, you find him seated at a table off to the side, not far from the counter. His backpack lays discarded on the ground by his feet and his elbow rests on top of the surface of the table, his chin nestled in the palm of his hand; his eyes are fixated on the television screen hanging just ahead and, for once upon entering the cafĂ© past dusk, he doesnât lack a sense of emotion. Instead, his brows knit in concern as he is engrossed by whatever is happening on the news.
As you approach his table with his coffee in your hand, you crane your neck to look up at the screen and what has seemingly caught his interest. On one side of the screen is a female news reporter in a pink blouse and gray blazer; on the second half of the screen, you see a familiar flash of striking red and blue that swings from building to building from an, albeit, shaky recording from a passerbyâs phone.
âAnd in other news,â The woman who speaks has a strong, smooth voice as she stares ahead at the camera with a rather sour look, âthe masked mystery man, otherwise known as Spider-Man, was spotted earlier this morning when he put a stop to a robbery in an apartment in Queens just before noon. Though most would argue that Spider-Man is New Yorkâs very own masked hero, the New York City Police Department are still searching for the identity of whom they call a vigilante, saying he is causing mayhem inââ
âSome guy, huh?â You muse pensively, sliding the coffee onto the counter next to Jungkook. âThis spider guy or whatever.â
The boy in front of you glances down meekly at the coffee and back up at you. His eyes flicker to the screen hanging in the corner once more. âYou mean Spider-Man?â
Nodding, you say, âYeah. He comes out of nowhere two years ago and now heâs everywhere. What do you think of him helping with all this dangerous crime stuff?â
âAh, well, thatâs his thing,â Jungkook says, shrugging. âIf he couldnât handle it, he wouldnât be helping solve a lot of the cityâs crimes. I think heâs pretty cool, yâknow, for a masked guy. I definitely donât think heâs a vigilante orâ or a criminal.â
âYou talk about him as if you know him,â You giggle.
Jungkookâs eyes widen for a split second and then heâs furiously shaking his head. âKnow him? No, no, of course not! Iâm just a⊠Just a big fan â and an even bigger fan of Iron Man.â
He picks up the coffee next to him and lifts it to his mouth for a quick sip, nearly burning his tongue but swallowing his curses.
âI like him,â You confess at long last. âHeâs interesting. I think heâs just what we need at a time like this.â
Just then, the bell above the door rings once more and a small group of friends wander into the shop, each carrying backpacks and heavy textbooks. They sit at a table off in the corner and you sigh as you look back down at Jungkook.
âThatâs my cue,â You say. âGotta go, but have a good night, okay? And, Jungkook? You really should get some more sleep.â
Jungkook opens his mouth to respond but you are already turning away and so he sits back in his seat, defeated once more. He watches as you stride happily to the group of friends sitting at a table to take their order, your hair bouncing slightly under the fluorescent lights. He folds his arms over the top of his table and buries his head in them, though he sneaks one last glance up at you. Despite his eyes itching with sleep, he pries them open just a second longer to watch you smile as you speak with the students and it is the last thing he sees before he slips off into a light and contented sleep.
As you step out into the cool, early Autumn night and shut the door of the café behind you to lock it, the single thought most prominent in your mind is sleep.
Youâre exhausted, but the homework still waiting to be completed in your home is the only thing that pushes you to stay awake. You hurry to fish the store keys out of your coat pocket and, with a euphonious chime, use them to lock the front door, ignoring the way the cold breeze nips at your cheeks. You grasp the collar of your coat tighter around your body and then hike the strap of your own bag further up your shoulder as you turn to walk away.
Jungkook had fallen asleep as per usual after your short conversation with him and then vanished an hour some time before you closed, waving a final farewell to you. The rest of your night had been rather slow, with only two more customers entering the café until each person left to venture back out into the cold and leave you alone. To finally be freed from the confinements of the café has you breathing in the crisp air in a deep breath. Exhaling placidly, you cross the street and begin making your way toward your one bedroom apartment which is only a fifteen minute walk away from both the café and your school.
You arenât quite sure how long you have been walking for when you begin to notice the sound of footsteps behind you. In fact, if you had been listening more intently since the second you left the cafĂ©, you would be able to recall the fact that these same heavy footsteps had been following along behind you since then. You donât necessarily see the problem at hand just yet, thinking it to be just another innocent passerby who is coincidentally walking the same way as you. After all, New York City has a tremendously huge population.
You take a left, turning the corner of the street to continue along the path to your home. The only light that illuminates the way are the silvery wisps from the moon that hangs high in the night sky and the flickering street lamps that you pass occasionally. You take another left and strain your ears and hear the sound of footsteps again. Maybe you were overreacting, maybe it was just a random passerby, but most cities werenât foreign to that of strange stalkers. Holding your breath, you slowly glance over your shoulder at the figure who has been following you and spot a man just a few paces away, the hood of his sweater drawn over his head.
You immediately turn back around, eyes wide as panic begins to settle in. You take another left, then a right, cross the street and retrace your steps back towards the cafĂ© and each time you hear the heavy footsteps; each time they quicken in pace as does yours. You hadnât even realized how briskly you were walking until you glance over your shoulder for a second time and see the man once more. Suddenly, you turn a sharp corner and race ahead before coming across an empty and darkened alleyway. You slip into its shadows, your heart hammering wildly against your chest and in your ears, and continue to walk until the brick wall at the very end of the alleyway comes into view. A dead end.
You turn back around and begin walking forward before freezing suddenly. If you go back out there, that man could still be lurking; if you stay in the alleyway, you could hide until you think itâs safe. Your eyes flicker around for something to cower behind and just before you notice the dumpster off to the side, you see a shadow in the corner of your eye. Turning around, you come face-to-face with the hooded man who is all but blocking your path to freedom. Except now, youâre able to stare into his face past the silhouette that his hood draws on his features. Now, you can see the star tattoo on his neck, the scar above his right eyebrow and an image of the man from the cafĂ© only hours ago flashes across your eyes.
âYou,â You gasp. âWhat do you want from me?â
Behind his hood, you can see him smirk slyly. âI just want to chat to you, babe. What are you doing all by yourself out here?â
Your eyes narrow into a scrutinizing glare. You step forward to walk around him but he grabs onto you, his arm snaking around your waist as he drawls, âNot so fast. Iâve been meaning to get you alone like this.â
Just as you open your mouth to shout out for help, the noise of sudden scuffling in the alley causes the man to stop. It comes with the rustling of the wind and could have easily been mistaken for the sound of a trash can falling over or paper tumbling loosely but it is also unmistakable the sound of footsteps. The man must notice something before you do as he squints further into the alleyway, muttering a small, âWhat the hellââ
âCome on, dude, thatâs seriously no way to treat a girl!â
The foreign voice that drifts into the alleyway seems to startle not only yourself, but the man in front of you. His grip loosens on you slightly as he cranes his neck to look amongst the shadows.
âWell, anyone, for that matter.â
The strangerâs voice is youthful, most likely belonging to a boy around your age. It is oddly calm and nonchalant despite the situation that is unfolding before him, and then he clicks his tongue disapprovingly. As your eyes flicker open, you follow the source of the sound towards the blocked end of the alleyway still veiled by the darkness. Had this person always been there or had they really materialized out of thin air?
âWhoâs there?â The man in front of you grunts. âWhy donât you mind your own business?â
âAnd why donât you pick on somebody your own size?â The voice retaliates. He pauses as if he is waiting for an answer and then he is speaking up again. âLet me guess. Youâre gonna tell me to screw off or something right? God, you guys are always so predictable and yet you never make it any easier for me.â
The man scowls, his hand drops from your throat as he turns to the looming darkness and hisses gruffly, âMind your own business, punkââ
Before he can carry on, something flings out of the darkness and lands on the manâs face in a blink of an eye. He immediately lets go of you, grunting in confusion and flailing his arms about. As you drop to the ground, you subsequently bang your head hard against the brick wall and groan in pain, though youâre able to catch a glimpse of what the man is trying so desperately to claw off his face before your vision goes blurry. It is something thin and wispy, made of silver glistening strands that resembles, oddly enough, a spiderâs web. As the man fumbles into the darkness, arms swinging clenched fists wildly about.
âOver here!â The boy taunts. âMissed me again! You know, youâre not very good at this.â
You struggle to climb to your feet, clutching your head in agony as you squint into the darkness. From where you are, you can only see the man fumbling around uselessly, the other figure still concealed by the darkness. As you attempt to get a better look, you hear the boy grunt in pain and catch sight of the man just after he had swung his fist into this personâs face, while his other hand had successfully been able to finally rip the mesh off his face.
âOkay, ow, that hurt,â The boy admits.
But before he or the man can continue on, youâre springing forward, mustering all your strength and courage into one impromptu movement. You grab your bag that had been discarded on the ground, heavy with a few school textbooks you had brought with you; you clutch it tightly, race up behind the man, and swing it hard at his head. His actions come to a sudden halt, he staggers forward, and immediately collapses to the ground, unconscious. Then finally, plunged into the darkness of the alleyway, you slowly look up to face the eye of your helper and are met, instead, with a flash of red and blue.
Standing before you, adorned head to toe in a tight suit is none other than the mysterious masked vigilante. Heâs much taller in person than you expected, and much more muscular too, though with his face hidden beyond a mask, you canât say much else about him. Instead, you gasp as you stare up at him in astonishment.
âHey, nice hit!â he says, an apparent grin in his voice. âThat was pretty awesomeââ
âItâs you!â You exclaim.
âMe?â He seems confused at first but then heâs straightening up. âOh, right, right. Itâs me! Just, uh, your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. Rescuing damsels in distress is kinda my thing.â
Your amusement for the mysterious hero is quick to fade, however, in wake of the throbbing pain on your head. It makes you aware of the fact that your knees have since grown weak, your mind spinning. When you take a step forward, you are suddenly faint and stumble over your feet, tripping to the ground. Before you can hit the pavement, the boy swoops forward and into view, catching you swiftly in his arms and holding you up.
âHey, hey, stay with me,â he says. âOh man, we gotta get you home. Can you tell me where you live?â
You can feel your lips moving in response, most likely informing him foolishly of the apartment complex you live in. Though this boy has been noted on performing acts of bravery and fighting against crime, heâs still a stranger â and, even more warily so, a complete enigma. There was no reason to trust him, despite him helping you only minutes ago, but in that moment you are weak and exhausted. In the very next second, you find yourself slipping off into a deep and tranquil slumber.
When you awaken the next morning, you are first greeted to the bright light of the sun that licks at your cheeks and warms your face. You note the soft plush of the mattress under you, the soft breeze that ruffles your hair, and when you pry your eyes open, you find yourself laying on the bed in your room; your window opened. Just when you begin to think the night before was all just some elaborate dream, you feel the slight tinge of pain in the back of your head and, despite it all â despite the pain and despite the memory strange man who had followed you â you smile softly at the thought of the boy in red and blue.
The next time you see Jungkook is on that Thursday.
Truthfully, youâve been eager to find him around campus if only to tell him about your encounter with New Yorkâs masked hero. You hadnât told many people, safe for your closest friends, though youâre keen to see Jungkookâs reaction as youâve learned heâs a fan of this spider guy. Wednesday is the only day you have a class with him and so as soon as the boring lecture for your anthropology class is finished, you spot him striding casually out the door and catch up to him just as heâs walking down the smooth pavement of the campus sidewalk.
Word, however, seems to spread fast amongst the friends in your year and whereas you only told one of your friends on that previous Friday about your encounter in the alleyway, Jungkook has already heard the story through misconstrued words at least a dozen times, through whisperings of people that arenât even your friends. Itâs a novelty, apparently, to witness something like this strange masked man. But, naturally, Jungkook is rather surprised when he hears your familiar dulcet voice calling his name.
âJungkook!â
He whirls around to face you and smiles as he sees your figure walking towards him, adorned in leggings and a baggy school shirt to match the eveningâs warm weather. Youâre smiling at him, almost as radiantly as the sun that it almost quite literally blinds him as he doesnât seem to notice the other girl walking just in front of him. He bumps into her before he can step out of the way and hastily apologizes before turning back to you only to see you giggling.
âWhat can I do for you on this fine evening?â he asks as you approach.
âIâve been meaning to find you since Friday,â You say. âYouâll never believe what happened on Thursday.â
âIâve been hearing it all week since then.â
âYou have? Who told you?â
This causes Jungkook to chuckle lightly. He hikes the usual one strap of his backpack further up his shoulder as the two of you begin to walk again, âY/N, everyoneâs been talking about it. I guess no one can keep their mouth shut anymore. So tell me: what was this Spider-Man guy like?â
A small smile stretches across your face at the name, your teeth instinctively biting down on your lower lip in an attempt to hide in. Was it just Jungkook or did he see the slightest of pink pinch at your cheeks? When you look back up at him, your eyes are shimmering.
âHonestly?â You reply sheepishly. âI think Iâm crushing on him pretty hard.â
Jungkook nearly chokes. When he speaks next, his voice is slightly higher than usual, so he clamps his mouth shut, clears his throat, and tries again. âYou donât say? He must be a real charmer then. Do you, uh, even know him well enough to crush on him?â
âItâs strange,â You remark. âYouâre right â I donât even know him and yet I havenât been able to stop thinking about him since then. I guess chivalry isnât dead after all, huh?â
âWhat even happened?â Jungkook asks.
âRemember that guy you scared away Thursday night? I got into some trouble with himâ but donât worry!â You throw in the last few words when you see Jungkookâs brows scrunch in concern. âSpider-Man came before anything could happen. He saved me. I owe him my life at this point.â
Jungkook notes the dreamlike tone in your voice and when he glances down at you, youâre smiling blissfully down at your scuffed Converse shoes. Itâs mesmerizing to see you so content and jubilant, beaming like the sun once more that hangs in the clear cerulean blue sky. He inhales a deep breath of fresh air, smells the wafting nodes of freshly ground coffee somewhere in the distance, and exhales slowly.
Nervously rubbing the back of his neck, he looks over at you once more and asks, âHey, um, so for that anthro project we have to do â I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to be partners for it?â
Your eyes light up at the proposition and you nod enthusiastically. âSure thing. Iâd love that, actually. Maybe we can meet up this Sunday to plan everything out and see whoâs doing what?â
âHey, Y/N!â
Just then, you hear the familiar sound of your friend calling your name. You glance ahead where your eyes land on a group of girls sitting on a nearby bench and you wave at them. They gesture you over and you skip ahead a few paces, turning to look at Jungkook. He smiles as he nods.
âSorry,â You apologize sheepishly. âBut Sunday at the cafĂ© at noon?â
âSounds like a date.â Jungkook reddens suddenly at the way he words his thoughts and stammers to correct himself. âNot a date! Work date. Uhââ
âItâs a date,â You giggle. âSee you!â
Then youâre rushing off to join your friends, leaving Jungkook alone once more. He sighs in your wake, shakes his head at himself, and grudgingly walks away.
That night you can hardly sleep.
You blame it on the stress that comes with being a student, constantly under the strain of a multitude of assignments and upcoming tests. When the clock strikes half past one in the morning just as you are finishing typing up the last sentence of a seven page essay on your laptop (seated at your desk, where you have been for the past few hours), you decide you need a break before you go absolutely insane. Shrugging on a simple cardigan, you tiptoe out of your room, down the corridor to the elevator, ignoring the way your joints that have stiffened in place stretch in a satisfying pop. Youâre stumbling out and onto the roof of your apartment building in no less than five minutes, emerging out into the open night.
It isnât terribly cold and, after inhaling a deep breath of the refreshing air, you sigh in relief and you walk to the concrete barrier at the very edge of the roof and lean against it. Gazing out at the vibrant and lively concrete and glass buildings and skyscrapers alike that build the city of New York, with each window illuminated by a warm glow of light, seems to give you a sense of peace. You can hear the hum of cars, a distant sound of sirens, the occasional honk, and the thump of bass from somewhere in the distance to your left, all amassing into the rhythmic pulse of the city; across from you, in the building complex on the other side of the street, you can see silhouetted figures of perhaps caffeinated students or late night lovers. The sky is empty, blank and dull as it stretches on over the entirety of the city, but you can see the moon, brightly shining in all its glory, bold and proud amongst the artificial light.
A slight breeze disrupts the stillness of the roof, rustles your hair, followed by the looming feeling of not being alone. You hear the sound of footsteps landing softly on the ground and turn around slowly, casting your gaze across the seemingly empty rooftop. But you see it â or rather, him â in the shadows near the door a bit further off. Itâs strange how calm you are in the moment but the presence doesnât exactly feel intimidating to you â especially when you notice the flash of red and blue.
âYou again?â You ask humorously.
âSorry if I scared you.â The voice that carries with the wind towards you is familiar, youthful. âDefinitely not my intention.â
âIâm not scared,â You say. âIf I can recall amongst your many gritty crime fighting, you saved a cat stuck in a tree a while back.â
The boy chuckles. âAh, well, just all a part of the job.â
âWhat are you doing here?â You take a step toward him and hear him retreat further into the darkness.
âWell, youâre probably going to call me weird and insane,â he says, âbut I just wanted to check on you. You were pretty out of it when I dropped you off at your place.â
âYouâre not stalking me now, are you?â
âNo way!â he says. âI was just, yâknow, in the neighbourhood. I was actually about to call it a night when I passed your apartment and then I saw you up here. Must be fate, huh?â
âFate sure is weird,â You muse pensively, pursing your lips. You pause, squinting your eyes into the darkness. âThanks, by the way. For helping me that night and bringing me back. Is there anyway I can repay you?â
âRepay me? Oh, no, no!â he says. âThatâs not what this is all about, I promise. What I do is for the city and for the people. I can sleep better at night knowing thugs like that guy are being taken care of properly.â
âThatâs a pretty commendable thing to do,â You say. âYou gotta be pretty brave to put yourself in danger each night.â
âItâs nothing I canât handle.â
Thereâs a smirk in his voice that stretches his words into a confident and smug drawl. You, in turn, smile bashfully. You look down at your shoes and then back up at the shadows.
âCan you step out of the dark?â You ask. âI want to see you.â
âAh, but then thatâll ruin the mystique,â he points out. âAnd whereâs the fun in that?â
You shake your head at him, pearly white teeth gnawing down on your lower lip to hide the smile that tugs at your mouth. You pull your cardigan tighter around your torso, ignoring the distant sound of a wailing siren.
âMaybe Iâll see you again,â he says. âI have to go but it was a pleasure meeting youâ uh, what was your name again?â
âI never told you,â You say. âAnd if I do, itâll ruin the mystique, wonât it? Whereâs the fun in that?â
He laughs into the night, a sound so genuine and amiable. âFair enough. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, despite the terrible circumstances. Try to stay out of trouble, okay? And get some sleep!â
You can hear him moving, as if preparing to leave. You step forward, mouth opening to stop him, but then he is gone, the sound of feet leaping into the air the last thing you hear from him. By the time you rush to the other side of the roof and look around frantically for any sight of him, you spot the mysterious vigilante as a tiny speck soaring from building to building. You smile as you watch him disappear amongst the horizon, bleeding into the glow of lights until he is gone, becoming one with the city altogether.
The days pass in a very typical blur.
Sunday comes and goes much too fast where both you and Jungkook work diligently for a few hours at the cafĂ© before the rest of the week goes by. You hardly see Jungkook except for at night, as always past 9 p.m., when he stumbles wearily into the cafĂ© and plops down in his usual seat. And, with the days passing as usual, there are still the consistent reports of sightings of this mysterious Spider-Man. Though you seem to go about your routinely oblivious days, you are all Jungkook is able to think about. You are all he usually thinks about these days, anyway, and all he is thinking about that very Wednesday when heâs supposed to be hanging out with Taehyung.
It isnât uncommon to see Jungkook with Taehyung around campus. They have, after all, been best friends since the moment they met in their small daycare they attended together. Taehyung is more than accustomed with Jungkookâs habits and knows the boy in and out, including every secret and every crush heâs ever had (which, for the most part, has been you). That Thursday afternoon they are both sitting at the park just across from campus where most students from the school spend their time. Jungkookâs perched on the edge of the large concrete water fountain in the middle of the bustling meadow, with Taehyung reclining on his back, basking in the sun with a bag of chips on his stomach. They both spot you walking by with a friend and wave at Jungkook which causes Taehyung to roll his eyes.
âDude,â he sighs, exasperated. âJust ask her out already. She already said sheâs crushing on you.â
Jungkook looks down at his friend and shakes his head. âNo, she said sheâs crushing on Spider-Man. Not me.â
Taehyung, who was in the middle of shoving a handful of chips in his mouth, stops suddenly. He pushes himself up, nearly dropping the bag of chips, eyes wide as he stares at Jungkook in utter disbelief.
âAre you kidding me, dude?â He asks incredulously. âYouâre the same person, you idiot.â
âBut she doesnât know that,â Jungkook explains calmly. âAs far as she knows, Spider-Man is this cool dude and Iâm just⊠Iâm just me. Jungkook. Boring and not charming.â
âSo then tell her the truth,â Taehyung says. âYâknow, use yourself as your own wingman.â
As he shoves another handful of chips into his mouth, Jungkook shakes his head once more. Heâs already thought of this idea plenty of times before but itâs not as easy as it seems. The responsibility that comes with putting on that mask each night is followed by even greater risks for the people heâs around. Telling you the truth could only end in one way, anyway.
âI canât do that,â Jungkook says. âWhat if I tell her and sheâs let down?â
Taehyung would shake his head disapprovingly at his friend this time and mumble something along the lines of, âYou think too much.â
And while that may be true in Jungkookâs case, Taehyung just wouldnât understand. There is a reason Taehyung is the only person who knows about Jungkookâs secret and he is already endangering the life of his friend. To tell anyone else would only result in a much more terrible outcome for not only the people around him, but Jungkook himself. Still, though, as Jungkook settles back on the edge of the fountain and looks in the direction of the path you had vanished along, there is an inkling of a voice in the back of his mind that nags him, urges him, to tell you.
Jungkook sighs. He finds it ironic that anytime he puts on the red mask and flings himself into perilous danger, he is always confident, never once wavering, and yet when he is just himself, just another mundane passerby, that same heart of steel that fuels his will and spirit suddenly pales in comparison.
If only he could be so brave without that mask.
On Friday evening well into the night when what little stars you can see in the polluted sky begins to blend with the glowing light from building windows as far as the eye can see you find yourself at an overcrowded and clamorous party. You had been more than content with spending the start of your weekend not working but, upon entering the party, you find yourself not nearly enjoying the time as well as you had hoped you would. Youâve long since lost sight of your friends and the guy standing in the corner of the living room who had been eyeing you for most of the night had most certainly not helped with your mood â and, if anything, turned you off from drinking.
Albeit still slightly buzzed from the few drinks you had earlier been bestowed in the quintessential red solo cup that defines every high school and college party youâve been to, you stumble out onto the balcony of one of the rooms for a breath of fresh air and are startled to find you arenât alone when you spot the figure of a young man leaning against the railing.
âOh, shit, sorry. Didnât know anyone was out hereââ
As the figure turns around, you are relieved and thrilled to see itâs Jungkook. You stop yourself, clamping your mouth shut, and smile up at him with a dainty hand on your hip. A look of recognition dawns on his face at the sight of you, his own lips tugging into a friendly grin.
âThatâs okay,â he says. âFeel free to join me on the balcony of escaped party attendees â because I assume thatâs what youâre doing? Escaping?â
You push yourself forward to the railing, standing beside him as he turns back around to face the city. âI just needed a break from it all. You? I gotta say Iâm pleasantly surprised to see you here.â
He flashes you a sheepish smile, resting his arms atop the railing and leaning forward. âExactly. Parties arenât really my scene. My friend, Taehyung, dragged me out here but this balcony seems to be my favourite place.â
âWell, if it means anything,â You tell him, âIâm glad you came.â
When you look at Jungkook, you find him already gazing at you, his lower lip tucked between his teeth. His carob eyes crinkle with the smile on his face and he finds himself still staring at you even long after you have turned away to stare up at the sky. Itâs a surprisingly warm night, though you silently thank yourself for throwing on the denim jacket youâre wearing earlier in the day whenever a cool breeze breaks through the city.
âItâs kind of sad, isnât it?â You say after a while. âThat we canât see the stars from the city. Thatâs why I like camping. Star-gazing and watching the sunrise are two of my favourite things. It kind of keeps me humble in a way.â
âThatâs an interesting way of thinking about that,â Jungkook says. âSometimes I get so carried away by being in the city; itâs kind of nice just to slow things down once in a while.â
âIâm glad Iâm not the only one who feels that way,â You crane your neck to cast a steady gaze across the towering buildings in the near distance. âThe city can be pretty beautiful, too, though.â
âYou think so?â
âOf course,â Your eyes twinkle playfully at a sudden thought that seems to warm your face. âAnd some of the people help make it beautiful. Like that spider guy. What heâs doing for the city is incredible.â
âAh, right. Spider-Man.â The words leave Jungkook in a small exhale. âYou must really like him, huh?â
âWho doesnât?â
âI can name a few. Like the police.â
âTheyâre just scared of him because heâs doing their job better than they ever could.â
Jungkook chuckles lightly. He shakes his head as he looks down at his clasped hands and the calluses on his fingers from past tribulations. Itâs silent again, in which time the thump of bass from the party ensuing behind you two fills the air, followed by a burst of vigorous chanting and cheering from within.
âHey, can I ask you something?â Jungkook asks suddenly, his voice timid.
âGo ahead.â
Jungkook pauses, thinking. He seems to struggle with forming his thoughts into words as he remains silent for a second too long. âOkay, letâs say I know this person really important to me, and letâs say I have this thing â this equally as important thing â that I really want to tell them. The thing is, I canât just do that because if I do, Iâm afraid that this person will be let down. What do you think I should do?â
Youâre quiet as you ponder his words, looking pensively down at the city below.
âWell,â You hum slowly, âwhatâs the point in hiding behind a fake front the whole time? Itâs kind of like hiding behind a mask your whole life, right? And I think life is too short for that because, before you know it, itâll be too late. What if you donât tell this person and you end up regretting it for the rest of your life? I donât know. Sometimes I think that you just meet the right person in life whoâs worth that risk.â
Jungkook turns to look at you and suddenly your eyes meet in a steady, thoughtful gaze. His own stare softens at whatever sort of thoughts flood his mind and you wonder if his eyes have always been that shimmering. His tousled dark brown locks flitter slightly in the breeze, his pink lips parted ever so slightly. You open your mouth to speak, uttering his name in a euphonious whisper.
âJungkook, Iââ
But your voice is cut off abruptly by the influx sound of wailing sirens down below that convey some sort of grim situation unfolding somewhere in the formidable darkness of the night. Both you and Jungkook press yourselves over the railing, squinting down at the crowded streets below just in time to see a flash of blinking red lights and a mass of both police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks. From somewhere in the background from within the party, you can hear a voice exclaiming, âDude, thereâs a fire around the corner from here! The whole street is blocked off.â
âNo way. What the hell happened?â Another voice asks.
You exchange a wary glance with Jungkook before slipping back into the party. A small group has formed around the t.v. in the living room, on which is playing the local news and showcasing a burning apartment building, the vicious orange flames of which billow out of opened windows and all but consume the top floor as clouds of gray and black smoke invade the night sky. Thereâs a reporter talking fast into the camera, describing in detail what had happened to the building on a nearby street, but your eyes can only stay fixated on the monstrous flames. You donât realize Taehyung has somehow found both you and his friend and is standing behind the other boy, watching the news unfold before him. Unbeknownst to you, his stare flickers nervously to Jungkook and thenâ
âShit,â Jungkook curses suddenly. âI gotta go.â
You turn to look at him curiously. âGo where? Itâs midnight on a Friday.â
âI completely forgot I had to pick my aunt up from the subway,â he says. âShe works the late night shifts and I canât let her walk alone in the dark like this. Iâll see you both later! Let me know what happens with the fire.â
Taehyung, who seems more than accustomed to Jungkookâs abrupt pardon of his presence, nods. âWill do.â
The boy is already a few feet away from you, rushing toward the front door of the room, but you stop him before he can slip out of your reach entirely.
âWait, Jungkook!â You call out. He spins around to look at you almost immediately, a look of panic on his face. âDonât forget we have to meet up at the library on Sunday to work on the project.â
âGot it,â he says, raising his two forefingers to his forehead in a mock salute. He turns back around and begins bounding towards the door, giving you two one last wave. âSee you later!â
The door slams shut behind him and the party, despite the group crowded around the t.v., carries on in a cacophonous sound of drunken yelling and dumb music, completely and utterly oblivious. You let out a sigh as you turn back to the t.v., noting Taehyungâs presence still beside you. He takes a satisfying sip of whatever beverage is occupying the red cup in his hand and nods.
âThatâs Jungkook for you,â he says. His voice is a tired sigh, dispirited almost, as he thinks of the boy that has been his friend since freshman year of highschool. Just before he turns away, you hear him muttering, âAlways putting others before him.â
You donât see Jungkook that Sunday.
Whether or not he had entirely blown you off or had simply forgotten, you wait and wait in complete silence in the school library for nearly three hours as every call and every text you send to his phone goes otherwise unnoticed or ignored. It is entirely unlike Jungkook to completely vanish and though you want to be mad, you are more disappointed than anything else. You spend your time at a table by yourself, books and papers sprawled out before you, as you try to work diligently on the last piece of writing you need for the assignment to be complete whilst trying to not let your eyes wander to the time on the clock hanging on the wall opposite you but to no avail.
In a corner above the front desk, you see a t.v. propped on the wall that plays the silent image of the news as they recall the events from that Friday at the burning building. Fortunately, that spider guy had arrived before any casualties could happen and you watch, for the third time since Friday, as the recording footage shows the red and blue hero swinging defiantly into the wall of fire and pulling various residents from the fire. A duo of girls sitting next to you croons dreamily over the masked man, especially as they witness him emerging from the fire with a small and unscathed Corgi dog in his hands that, you admit, is rather admirable.
On Wednesday night, you find yourself stuck in the sparkling confinements of the cafĂ© bound to the six hour shift you were in the midst of completing. Itâs surprisingly busy for a day in the middle of the week, though you assume thatâs only because each customer is in a rush to seek refuge from the surprisingly cold evening. You hadnât even been thinking about Jungkook when he makes himself known in the cafĂ© some time after 9 p.m. You hear the bell ring above the door, feel a short gust of shocking wind, before it shuts behind him. When you look up instinctively to greet the newcomer and lay your eyes on the boy, your words fall short.
You watch as he stumbles forward, his feet practically dragging behind him in worn up Converse shoes. He looks exhausted â even more so than usual â and judging by his dishevelled hair and crumpled clothes and the way he seems to walk in a daze as if he is in another world, you assume he hasnât slept in a while. He still hauls his backpack with one strap slung over his shoulder that he drops lazily to the ground beside a table before he plops himself down into the seat with a groan in one swift motion. Whatâs most strange are the blossoming bruises on his neck and the fresh cut on the highest point of his left cheekbone.
You hate that youâre so weak for that boy; that even though he completely ignored you, you still pity him. Wondering what sorts of trouble heâs been finding himself in lately, you pour him a cup of steaming black coffee and walk towards his table. He hardly even notices you as his head is buried in his folded arms atop the table, though he peeks up past his bangs when you slide the coffee beside him.
âIâd hate to see the other guy,â You hum.
His eyes brighten at the sight of you and he pushes himself up, raking a hand through his unkempt hair in a poor attempt to fix it. âY/Nââ
âWhere were you, Jungkook?â You ask sternly, suddenly. âOn Sunday? I waited for you for over three hours. I called you and texted you and you completely ignored me. You could have at least gotten back to me. I had to finish the rest of the assignment by myself.â
His brow creases with concern, his stare softening apologetically. He leans forward, suddenly helpless.
âIâm sorry,â he stammers. âIâI didnât mean toâ Something came up.â
âWhatever, Jungkook,â You sigh. âItâs fine. I canât stay and chat but Iâll have you know I already handed the assignment in online. Youâre welcome. Oh, and the coffeeâs on the house. You look like crap.â
You spin on your heel and march away to help another customer before Jungkook can even try to talk to you. He watches as you slip from his grasp, a frown scrunching up your face that is forced to soften as you approach another table. He collapses against his chair and groans inwardly, rubbing his hand over his aching and swollen face. He knows youâre mad at him but he canât quite tell if youâll stay like that for long. He doesnât blame you anyway, but he couldnât just tell you where he had gone or what had happened. Could he?
Itâs much to his dismay that you donât talk to him the next day, or on Tuesday, or on Wednesday, or on Thursday. He tries to find you around campus but he is always too late and, instead, finds you slipping away from him each time. He pops into the cafĂ© a few nights and though you work both nights, itâs still much too busy to actually talk to you and so he, doing what he does best, falls asleep at the table as he silently broods. Whether or not itâs your anger purposely driving you further from him or simply life intervening, Jungkook wants nothing more than to apologize â if he can even get close enough to you to do so.
Finding yourself on the rooftop of your apartment building isnât uncommon. Most of your free time is spent up there, either watching the night sky or gazing at the busy city under a cerulean blue sky and golden sun. That Friday night is no different. With no homework and no social gathering to devote yourself to, you sneak off to the roof and position yourself in just a spot where you can see the towering buildings of each borough in each direction you cast your gaze. You would have been content falling asleep up there, with nothing but the sound of the distant hum of cars to lull you and the view of the moon and window lights that act as the metropolisâs stars.
You all but lose track of time, unaware of whether or not you have been there for minutes or hours but you donât entirely mind. You would be lying, too, if you denied that there was some sort of inkling of hope in you that hoped maybe you would see him again. That is why when you hear the soft plop of feet dropping to the ground moments later, you are not at all startled by the sudden presence, though you are astounded by his arrival, as if on cue. You donât even need him to speak to know who it is and when you feel the smile ghost along your lips, there is a moment of pause where you question your own sanity for being so happy to see this masked and mysterious man. But he isnât at all a mystery at this point when you feel as if youâve acquainted yourself with him well enough.
âYou shouldnât be out here all alone,â The voice that drifts through the shadows of the roof is familiar, gentle. âItâs dark. Who knows who could come up here?â
âYeah,â You snort. âWouldnât want any strangers sneaking up on me â or masked vigilantes who seem to be following me.â
You turn to look at him but are greeted with nothing except emptiness. He lingers somewhere in the darkness and you squint your eyes, desperately trying to spot him. He laughs, the sound so silvery and smooth like honey.
âSomeoneâs following you?â he replies tauntingly. âDo I have to deal with them again?â
âWhy are you always hiding in the dark?â
The sudden question seems to cause him to hesitate. Itâs silent before you hear his voice wander over to you.
âTo add to the mystique?â he says.
âNow thatâs suspicious. Maybe I should call the police on you.â
âThey would never be able to catch me.â
âSomeoneâs cocky,â You take a step toward the darkness, in the direction of the sound of his voice. âDid the fame get to you already?â
You hear him take a step back from you and it, subsequently, causes you to linger. You wait before stubbornly pushing yourself forward once more.
âWhat fame? People want to lock me up.â
âAnd most people are in love with you. I overheard a few girls gushing over you saving that dog from that burning building the other day,â You giggle. âDoes it mean anything to you?â
âAh, well,â You can hear the grin in his voice, can see the silhouette of his figure not too far from you, âI gotta admit the attention is pretty nice. But no one knows who I am without this mask so it doesnât really matter.â
âHow does that make you feel?â
One step forward, another backward. You pause; at this rate, youâll have chased him all the way to the other side of the roof.
âI donât mind. It keeps me humble,â he replies. âBut it also stops me a lot of the time, yâknow? With this mask on, I feel invincible; with it off, I feel useless. But someone pretty important to me once told me that life is too short to constantly hide behind a mask.â
A wide, genuine smile stretches across your face. You take another step forward and this time he stands still. From where you are, you can see the tall and lean figure, adorned in the signature tight red and blue suit.
âThatâs pretty smart of them to say.â
âShe is pretty admirable. Much braver than I could ever be without this mask.â
He turns around from you before you can reach him. You watch as he casually strides forward a few paces to the barrier behind him, which he props his hands against to lean on. He seems to be lost in thought, perhaps struggling with some sort of inner turmoil. You tiptoe in suit, cautious as you approach him. You can see the muscles that strain from beneath his suit, the heave and fall of his chest.
âCan I know your name?â Your voice is a gentle whisper that carries to him with the wind. âYour real name?â
When he turns around to face you once more, youâre standing only a few feet away from him. You take another step forward, closing the short distance between the two of you and are made aware of how much taller he really is. The way he towers over you is almost comforting, familiar, that no emotionless red mask could cause you to stray. Heâs so much more different up close in that suit. He hesitates before he forces himself to speak.
âI think,â he pauses. He swallows thickly, attempting to subdue the quickening race of his heart as he clamps his fingers into his sweaty palms. âI think you already know my name.â
This seems to pique your interest. Quirking a brow and cocking your head to the side, you stare up at the masked face that gazes back down at you. You arenât entirely sure what compels you to do so, as it could be a complete disaster and not at all what you are expecting, but you slowly, so very slowly, reach up with your hands to grasp gingerly at his face. The red fabric beneath your fingertips is soft and as your digits brush lightly over his covered cheekbones, he hardly moves. For some reason, you can feel your heart hammering against your feeble chest, can hear it in your ears in tandem with the sound of passing traffic down below. His heart is beating just as fast, though he thinks it nearly stops when he feels your fingers begin to gently pull at the neck of his mask, sliding it upward.
The first poke of tanned skin has your heart quickening, your breath hitching in your throat. You tug the mask the rest of the way off and, finally, step back to look at the mysterious masked hero known as Spider-Man.
Jungkook.
Itâs Jungkook.
The familiar boy stands before you, his hair a disheveled mess from the mask, his doe eyes even wider now in timid fear as he looks down at you. Everything is him, from his luscious pink lips, to the freckle on his neck, the piercings in his ears, that tiny scar heâs had since he was a child on his cheek. The city lights and moon illuminate him from behind and he seems nervous as he anticipates a reaction but you are much too busy admiring him. Your fingers trace delicately over the fresh scar on his face that he had brandished at the cafĂ© only a few nights ago. A breath of satisfaction slips past your parted lips and then youâre laughing silently to yourself.
The boy looks dumbfounded at first, and then he quirks a brow. âWhatâs so funny?â
âI knew it,â You shake your head at nothing in particular, or perhaps the way you continue to giggle.
Jungkook suddenly looks shocked, though he instantly seems to relax. He studies the smile that stretches across your cheeks in awe, brightening your face in all its glory. âHow did you know?â
âWell, youâre not exactly that smooth, Jungkook,â You grin. âThe late nights coming into the cafĂ©, always scratched up and always tired as if youâve ran all over the city; always getting jumpy when you hear police sirens â like the night at the party. Not to mention that one time at the cafĂ© when the news was on and they were talking about a robbery at the bank and hostages being held and you ran right out of there only for Spider-Man to show up on the scene minutes later. Itâs all very suspicious, donât you think?â
He canât help the laugh that escapes him, a joyous sound of content. He leans against the palm of your hand that is cradling the side of his face with the scar.
âRight,â he sighs. âAll very suspicious.â
His stare locks with yours in a steady gaze and neither of you can turn away. His eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky, lingering with it a sense of hope and content. He is mesmerizing, with the city he devotes his time to saving in the horizon beyond him. Itâs near impossible to look away, but why would you want to? It happens much like a blink of an eye, a frail beat of your heart; it comes with the passing of a car whizzing by on the streets down below and is as much startling as the sudden breeze that sends chills down your spine.
He begins to lean forward â or maybe that was you? Your eyes flutter shut, your anticipation held with a deep breath, until finally your lips meet with his though you hardly have time to relish in it. Almost as soon as your lips touch, heâs pulling away quickly. He doesnât move too far and his mouth lingers just over yours. His eyes remain fixated on the curl of your lips for a moment too long before he rips them away to meet your hazy gaze.
âWait,â he hums. âYouâ You said you were crushing on Spider-Man. Does that mean you knew this whole time andâ and like me?â
The question is so like Jungkook; so innocent and silly and genuine that it causes a sweet giggle to bubble at your lips. Heâs always been so oblivious to these kinds of things and so maybe thatâs what pushes you to kiss him next. Your lips lock for a second time and, though it is just as fleeting, you note with joy the softness of his mouth as it folds over yours. You part from him with a breathless gasp, your nose brushing lightly against his as a smile stretches across your face.
âWhat do you think, bugboy?â Your voice is barely above a whisper, a playful taunt that makes Jungkook smile wide.
He kisses you this time, slow and passionate as if attempting to pour every single one of his emotions and thoughts for you into the single intimate action. His hands grasp at either side of your face, carefully pulling you closer to him to deepen the kiss and you, instinctively, melt against his broad chest. Your fingers trail up the lean muscle of his arms to twine in the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging with yearning. His hands fall to your waist, enveloping you in his body, and when he parts from you, he rests his forehead against yours.
âCan I show you something?â
You nod. His eyes light up and then heâs jumping up onto the cement barrier behind him, turning around to look at you. You gasp from the sudden movement, your stomach churning unpleasantly at the sight of him quite literally standing on the edge of a building only to remind yourself heâs Spider-Man. Heâs done plenty more reckless things than this. He holds his hand out, a reassuring smile on his face.
âDo you trust me?â he asks.
Thereâs no hesitation as you answer him with another firm nod. âOf course. Always.â
âThen take my hand,â he says. âIâll never do anything to harm you, you know that.â
You do know that. Jungkook wouldnât hurt a fly; heâs too good and precious for the world you live in and he says yes far too often to people who most likely donât deserve it, but he knows when to stand up for not only himself but others as well. You are just one of the few he cares for wholeheartedly and you know that.
You reach out carefully and place your hand in his surprisingly cold and large ones. His fingers wrap around yours as he helps you up onto the barrier, holding you closely toward him.
You take a deep breath, shut your eyes, and put every ounce of your trust into this single, courageous boy â and you let yourself fall with him.
Youâre roused awake by the sound of light tapping against your bedroom window.
It startles you at first, causing you to jolt upright into a sitting position as you look around frantically at your empty and dark room; the only light comes from the city life and the moon outside, shedding a warm glow onto the floor before it. For a moment, you think you had just dreamt the noise but then you hear it again, low and near. You crane your neck to look and first see a shadow but, as the figure shifts into view, youâre able to see the familiar young man in red and blue. Your heart leaps in your chest and suddenly youâre scrambling off your feet, throwing yourself at the window to throw it open.
The night Jungkook had admitted to being Spider-Man and jumped up onto the edge of the roof, holding his hand out to you in a silent question of trust, he leaves you with a night that you swear you will cherish forever. Wary of where he will go but entirely consenting of his spontaneity, he surprises you by carrying you throughout the city, swinging from building to building in an extraordinary feat that feels as if youâre flying; and, as if that hadnât been a big enough thrilling shock, he brings you to the very top of the Empire State Building, just under the antenna. No one is there and no one can see you and, with Jungkook under the brightening sky with the view of New York stretching out into the horizon before you, you feel as if you have the whole world in the very palm of your hand.
You sit with Jungkook that night, talking, not talking, listening intently to him as he recounts the tale of how he had turned into the masked hero with his peculiar powers, and watching the sunrise from beyond the very tops of buildings and skyscrapers. There are no words to describe the breathtaking view from one of the highest points in the city, watching as the golden sun peaks over the horizon and sets the city ablaze in saturated warm hues of orange, pink, and purple, mingling together in one impressionistic masterpiece that could put even the greatest of painters to shame. The light reflects against the glass panes of windows in a mirage similar to flickering flames that never scathe the city, but instead seem to enhance the beauty it holds.
You never want the night to end but eventually it does and, when he returns you to your bedroom window with one parting kiss, it and Jungkookâs lips are all you can dream about.
A week has passed since then, in which time youâve done nothing but find yourself growing closer with Jungkook. Heâs all youâve been able to think about these days. So, to hear him and see him at your window is enough to make butterflies form in the very pit of your stomach. You see him sitting on the fire escape just outside your window, leaning against the building looking even more exhausted than usual. Another fresh cut lines his cheek in a stripe of red though he doesnât seem to mind much for it as he dozes off slightly. You push open the window, startling him awake, and poke your head outside. A weary smile tugs at his lips at the sight of you.
âWell, this is romantic,â You stifle the giggle that bubbles at your mouth. âThank you for not throwing rocks at my window, Romeo. To what do I owe this pleasure of seeing you at two in the morning?â
âSorry, did I wake you?â he asks sheepishly. âI just wanted to see you.â
His response earns a shy smile stretching across your face. âNo, you didnât wake me,â You say with a shake of your head (though the way you comb your fingers through your mused hair tells him otherwise). âWhat happened to your face, Jungkook?â
He reaches up to his face, as if momentarily forgetting the cut, winces, and then drops his hand from his face. He grins wolfishly, attempting to shrug it off. âOh, this little thing? Itâs nothing, donât worry about it. I just got caught up in a little fight but Iâm fine. I swear. You really should see the other guy.â
The smug tone in his voice as he rambles on makes you stare at him in amusement. You sigh as you take a step back, saying, âCome inside. Iâll clean that for you.â
âWell, if you insist.â
He smirks as he pulls himself through the window and into your room. His eyes wander around the four walls, noting the decor that lines it, the shelves with all your personal trinkets and belongings, the clothes littered on the floor, and the empty take-out box of Chinese food that rests atop your desk. Thereâs a soft aroma of something sweet that smells like you â possibly a perfume or a soap or shampoo? â and it makes Jungkookâs head spin pleasantly. He asks about your day and then sits on the bed and, as you tell him about your boring classes as you rummage around your bathroom for something to clean his wound with, he smiles.
He finds your room comforting â or maybe he just finds your presence comforting. Either way, over time you find that this would only be a common occurrence throughout the next month. He startles you the first few times he shows up but then you begin to stay awake a little longer, waiting eagerly by the window as you wait for him to arrive. Most times heâs bruised or has small and fresh cuts, of which you either hand him an ice packet or clean the cut; sometimes he isnât even hurt and instead claims simply that he just wanted to see you before you went to sleep. But each time he listens to you and your day, asking about yourself rather than him and no matter how hard you try to pry information out of him about what had possibly happened to him throughout his night, he swiftly brushes it off. You donât mind either way â you just want to see him as much as you can, anyway.
There is one night, however, where things seem to go entirely different.
Youâre curled up in bed reading a book when you hear the light tapping on your window. Youâve come to leave the window pried open slightly as you wait for him, but even so he still takes the time to knock to signal his arrival. You instantly climb to your feet, wandering over to the window and tossing it open with a flourish. As Jungkook climbs in through the small space, you note the tight suit heâs wearing is slashed at the top of his arm and both the skin underneath it and on his face is bruised and cut; other than that, and judging by the cheeky smile on his face, he seems to be ok.
You shake your head at him, smiling gingerly as you muse, âWhoâs the damsel in distress now, bugboy?â
Jungkook smirks, prodding your sides with his fingers and causing you to squirm as you walk past him. âThereâs no shame in needing a little help every once and awhile, right? I donât know what I would do without you.â
âSit down,â You tell him, winking up at him. âIâll be right back, okay?â
Minutes later you return to sit by his side on the bed, cleaning his cuts as per usual and, while he has a frozen packet of peas pressed to his bruised and sore shoulder, you are busying yourself by sewing the cut in his suit with blue thread you had found in your room. In the midst of your work, perhaps you press too generously down on his recent wound, as he winces slightly and shifts on top of your bed. You crane your neck to look up at him, studying him curiously. He seems to notice your stare and quirks a brow as he looks down at you.
âWhatâs up?â
Your fingers stop their work on his suit and, remembering where the cut had broken his skin just slightly underneath the tear, brush lightly over the tender flesh covered in gauze. âDoes it hurt?â
Jungkook shakes his head, sitting up a little straighter. âHurt? No, no, of course not. It just, uhâ It isnât the most pleasant. But this isnât the worst Iâve been after a night in the suit so I can handle it.â
Your eyes study his battered face in some sort of admiration, albeit mixed with timid nervousness. What sort of things had he encountered, had he been through, that he wonât tell you?
âAre you ever afraid?â You ask gently.
âNo way,â he shakes his head, but not before you spot the confident grin he flashes you. âItâs honestly nothing I canât handle by now. Itâs not so bad, either. Itâs kinda weird. I mean, ever since getting bitten, Iâve found the healing process is a whole lot faster.â
Maybe he notices the lingering uneasiness in your eyes, the way you seem to doubt him. He reaches out with his fingers to gingerly brush against the side of your face in a swift flourish as he tilts your head a little higher. He smiles something warm that makes your heart melt as you lean your face against the palm of his calloused hand. To avoid the prying stare he gives you, you smile lightly and shake your head, attempting to change the subject.
âDunno, bugboy. Are there any perks to this job?â
Jungkook snorts as you finish sewing his suit. As you discard the needle and leftover thread, he says, âThere are. Like, for instance, knowing the city is a little safer. Then thereâs the fact that Spider-Man seems to have a lot of admirersâŠâ
âI thought you said it doesnât matter anyway because no one knows who you are.â
âWell, there is you,â he says. âAnd I gotta say youâre a pretty good perk.â
A blush tinges your cheeks as you sit across from him. Your eyes flicker down the suit that adorns him and you try to bite back the lighthearted snicker that bubbles at your chest. âI was gonna say a perk is this tight suit. At least, for me it is. Your ass has never looked more fantastic.â
Jungkook suddenly bursts out into laughter, throwing his head back. When he looks back at you, his hand finds the side of your face once more and pulls you towards him. With your lips hovering just over his, he mumbles something, anything, just for the sake of responding despite already being lost in you.
âIâll keep that in mind.â
Then youâre kissing him.
Youâve come to find that Jungkookâs lips are entirely irresistible and the more you kiss him, the more you wonder why you hadnât confessed to him earlier. Heâs gentle as he lets his lips fold over yours, mouth dancing with mouth in a passionate yearning. But thereâs a certain type of underlying insatiable hunger that seems to wash over both you and him and fast. Your fingers rake up the side of his face and tangle in his messy locks and soon heâs pulling you onto the bed, onto him. You instinctively straddle his lap, craning your neck so as to deepen the kiss, never once breaking apart for air. But something seems to happen, something that startles Jungkook so deeply. Perhaps itâs the way you grasp his hair a little tighter, the way he heard you gasp when he bites down gently on the side of your jaw, the way your hips fit over his; or perhaps itâs the way you tug off your shirt in an attempt to get closer to him, displaying to him the plain white bra youâre wearing that all culminate into something more. He knows where this is going, you know where this is going â and though Jungkook would want nothing more than to carry on, heâs reminded of a terrifying and prominent thought that has always haunted him the moment he made that mask.
You feel the way he tenses beneath you and, in the next quick second, heâs pulling apart from you and you, so dazed and lost, gasping for air, stare down at him dumbfounded.
âWhatâs wrong, Jungkook?â You ask. âDid I hurt you? Is your arm okay?â
âIâm fine,â he says weakly.
You grin as you press another kiss to his throat, mumbling into his neck, âGood, then letâsââ
âNo.â
âWhat?â
You sit back on his lap suddenly, staring at him with a flushed face. Your hair is mussed messily, a red bruise blossoms on your jawline that Jungkook had graced you with, and one strap of your bra hangs daintily over your shoulder and Jungkook canât help but notice how utterly sexy you look. He groans inwardly, tearing his gaze to look up at you. He swallows thickly, wincing at the bright and innocent twinkle in your eyes.
âWeââ he pauses and then says, âWe canât do this.â
You quirk a brow. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean,â he says slowly, carefully, âwe canât do this. Iâmâ Iâm sorry. I didnât know what I was thinking but I should have stopped this sooner.â
âStop what?â Your voice is weak, small. You know what heâs referring to but you donât want to believe it just yet.
Fuck, I canât do this, Jungkook curses to himself. If he had just stayed away from you from the beginning, this wouldnât even be happening. He wouldnât be about to hurt you or himself.
âUs,â he whispers. âThere canât be an us, Y/N.â
Your brows knit together in confusion but your eyes are wide with fear. âWhat are you talking about? How can there not be an us? I thoughtâ I thought you wanted this.â
When he hesitates to respond, youâre quick to slide off of his lap, standing to your feet. Suddenly youâre panicking, embarrassed. He sees the way your lips are pulled tightly in a thin line, the way you rake your hands through your hair, mumbling, âOh my god,â as you search for a shirt. Jungkook springs to his feet, grasping onto your waist but you easily slither out of his reach, clutching your shirt to your chest. To you, you think you have just made a fool of yourself, nearly striping naked for a boy who apparently doesnât want you. Jungkook knows this is what youâre thinking and it pains him so.
âNo, no, I do,â he says. âI do want this! I just canât do it.â
âAnd why not?â You snap hotly. âYouâre not making any sense. Either you do or you donât want us to be a thing.â
âItâs not that simpleââ
âIt sure seems like it is.â
âYou wouldnât understand.â
âAny explanation would be better than none,â You say firmly, âand simultaneously making me look like an idiot for looking so eager.â
Jungkook sighs heavily. He takes a step back from you, running both hands frustratedly through his hair, letting the muscles in his biceps flex as he does so. When he looks back at you, heâs solemn.
âThere canât be an us because Iâm just gonna put you in danger this way,â he says. âPeople are out there looking for me! Not just the police, but hardcore criminals, gangs, thugs, murderers. If they find me, or if they find out that youâre close to me or know me, theyâll hurt you too. I canât have that, Y/N.â
âBut I can handle it,â You insist.
âI canât,â Jungkookâs voice is stern, set in place. âI canât have that on my conscience, knowing that if you get hurt, itâs because of me. Thatâs all I ever worry about, from the second that I put this mask on. No one knows about me being Spider-Man and I kept it that way for a reason. Donât you think I could have flaunted that I was this supposed super cool new hero? I didnât do that because of you; because of the people that Iâm close to.â
âI donât care,â Your voice is feeble, cracking. âI donât care if I get hurt. If you can handle it, then so can I! I just want to be with you, Jungkook. Iâ I love youââ
Jungkook hears the words you blurt out quickly but he doesnât seem to necessarily register them at once. A stiff silence settles in the room between the two of you, an undeniable form of the point of no return, except you donât regret the words you say. You mean them wholeheartedly because you have always admired and loved Jungkook, from the little boy next door to this young hero before you. You stare at him shyly, albeit unwavering. A panic washes over him, drains his face of any colour, and suddenly it feels as if he canât breathe, his chest concaving in on his shrill heart. As the words begin to register in his mind, he can only sorrowfully gaze at you; but the lack of silence has your confidence paling and soon youâre looking away, shaking your head. A pained expression paints your features and though it hurts Jungkook more than any other wound that has been inflicted upon him in fights on the street prior to this, he knows he has to do this.
You already know his answer before he even speaks it. When he does say the final words that leave you in such an excruciating and unbearable pain, he has already fled, grabbing his mask and escaping out of the window, escaping from you, and into the heart of the city. When heâs gone and youâre alone in the thick silence do his words finally return to you and are the cause of the broken heart you are forced to nurse through muddled tears over the aimless days to come:
âThatâs what I was afraid of.â
You donât see Jungkook the next day or the day after that.
In fact, you donât see him for three entire weeks. He stops showing up at the cafĂ© late at night, stops attending the classes he has with you (or maybe he just blends well into the other somber looking faces), stops visiting your window in the early morning hours. Autumn bleeds numbly into the beginning shock of cold that is winter and, though there is no snow yet, you still feel the wrath of the frigid season. And, with the sudden loss of Jungkook, comes the abrupt and unwarranted disappearance of Spider-Man. Maybe it is your fault, maybe it is Jungkookâs fault. Either way, the masked enigma vanishes without a trace after your argument with Jungkook and the cityâs crime, now freed from the vigilant watchful eyes of New Yorkâs hero, spikes.
It feels almost as if the city has swallowed him whole or as if he has dropped off the face of the earth and the only thing to remember him by is the sudden havoc that ensues the city. The only thing you have to even know if Jungkook is still alive are the occasional updates from Taehyung who comes to befriend you if only to mention Jungkook every once and awhile just for the sake of easing your worried mind. Youâre not so much mad as you are upset, but you care entirely more for his own wellbeing and to not hear from him causes you agony.
There is only one brisk moment in which you encounter Jungkook and it comes simply from a happenstance. You are not at all expecting to see him and nor is he expecting to see you. Rather, you are seated on a wooden bench in the park just beside your school on a day graced with a strange warmth for winter. Wrapped in a scarf and knit hat, you are flipping through the pages of a book for one of your classes when a figure stands before you, momentarily blocking the sunâs light from your view. As you glance up at the shadow cast over you, you are genuinely surprised to find Jungkook standing there. He looks, perhaps, even more so dishevelled than usual, his hair and attire all one negligent mess as if he couldnât even find the strength to care for himself. Dark circles line his sunken eyes which stare down at you sorrowfully.
âY/N⊠Can I talk to you?â
Your heart skips a beat. For a moment, you canât turn away from him. For a moment, you fear that you will cave into him but then you are reminded of your broken heart. Itâs what causes you to act in such haste, shaking your head up at him as you shut your book and shove it into your bag. You stand to your feet and brush past him and he, so caught up in your rejection of him and the own twinge of pain he feels in his heart, lingers by the bench. Then, he is walking after you, his footsteps swiftly catching him up to you.
âY/N. Y/N, wait! Please, just let meââ
Jungkook breaks out into a sudden jog and only stops when he is standing in front of you. With your path blocked, you, too, come to a halt if only for the benefit of the doubt. He desperately tries to meet your eyes but you look past him, arms folded over your chest.
âLet me talk to you,â he begs. âAway from here. Just you and me. I can explain everything. Iââ
âYou had your chance, Jungkook,â You quip dryly. âYou didnât have to run away from me.â
âI wasnâtâ I didnât mean toââ he tries, but is interrupted once more by your strained voice.
âYou left me.â Now you are staring at him and Jungkook wishes that you hadnât even bothered to give him the chance. Once full of shimmering admiration, your eyes are only glossed over with a pained disappointment. âI told you I loved you and you left me. You made me look so stupid and Iâ No. No, Iâm not doing this right now.â
You push yourself forward, walking carefully around him. He watches as you storm away, shaking your head to yourself. With one last despairing attempt, he calls out to you once more.
âIâm sorry,â he gasps. âI let you down. I know. Iâm a failure.â
You stop. Your back is turned to him before you force yourself to look over at him and he foolishly thinks that maybe youâll give him a chance to properly explain himself. Insteadâ
âYouâre not a failure, Jungkook,â You tell him firmly. âI justâ I need to be alone right now. But donât leave them. Donât let them down. The city needs you.â
Jungkook flinches. He wants to call out to you again and pull you back to him, explain everything that is on his mind, but he canât. Instead, he is forced to watch you walk away from him until you disappear amongst the crowd and even then he doesnât move. He knows youâre disappointed with him.
He knows the whole city is disappointed with him â but the only person he wants to impress is you and he fears heâs ruined his only chance to.
You hardly seem to sleep at night anymore, instead too caught up in the thoughts that plague your dreams. Instead of going to the roof as you usually do when you canât sleep, you find yourself lying helplessly in your bed, staring up at the empty night sky through your window. One night, as youâre dozing off on your bed, your eyes blinking wearily as they try to focus on the shimmering moon, you begin to hear a noise. Itâs similar to a light tapping, though it drowns out in the sound of a siren from somewhere down below. At first you believe you have just dreamt it but then you hear a loud thud, slightly muffled from somewhere outside your window. It jolts you awake, has you pushing yourself up into a sitting position, and glancing around your room for any sign of something that may have fallen in there before noticing a flash of movement from the corner of your eye.
Red and blue.
Interest piques your drowsy mind at the thought of it being Jungkook but why would he be returning to you now? You would have been entirely set on begrudgingly flopping back down onto your bed and turning your back to him had you not felt that dreadful feeling that something was terribly wrong. You canât hear his voice and when you turn to get a better look, you find him standing on the fire escape just outside your window, slumped dangerously against the wall with his back to you. It is that dreaded feeling that pushes you out of your bed, drags you to your window which you lightly throw open, only to be met with a sight that leaves you in horrific shock.
Jungkook is adorned in his usual tight red and blue suit, though his mask is off and gives you a clear view of his weary face, now muted in colour, that your eyes land on first. His eyes are shut, his head rests against the brick wall of the building, and his skin is marked with dirt and grime, bruises and dried blood. As your eyes trail lower, following the curve of his arms to his hands that cradle his side, you finally spot the large wound from beneath his fingertips on the left of his abdomen, shimmering a bright crimson red. Immediately your heart sinks to your stomach as you gasp loudly.
âOh my god! Jungkook!â
Shimmying your way through the window to get closer to the boy hardly has him stirring. Your hands come out to grasp at his face, forcing him from his slouched position.
âJungkook, can you hear me? What the hell happened?â
His eyes flicker open momentarily at the touch of your warm fingers and he musters a small smirk, the corners of his lips lifting up just slightly.
âItâs just a scratch,â he mumbles hoarsely. âYou should definitely see the other guy now.â
âYouâre an idiot,â You grumble, your eyebrows knitting into a frown. âWhy are you here? You should have gone to the hospital! Iâm taking you right nowââ
âNo, no,â he protests stubbornly. He shifts his weight and immediately flinches from the pain. âNo, you canât. Iâll be okay. I justâ I need some time to rest.â
A deep sigh exhales past your parted lips at the mention of what had happened the night he fled so suddenly. Instead, you brush off the memory and give him a small shake of your head. âHere, stop talking. Let me help you get inside and Iâll see what I can do for you. This is gonna hurt a bit but can you move?â
Jungkook nods. As you wrap your arm carefully around his waist to shift him over to the window, he sucks in a deep breath and pushes himself forward. You try to help as he stiffly climbs in through the small window, grunting in pain as he does so, and then stumbling into your room and bumping into your desk next to the window, knocking a few trinkets down. As he leans dangerously against your now skewed desk, you hurry through the window and help him to his feet, pulling him over to your bed.
Despite the way he had left you so suddenly days ago, there is no air of stiffness in the room. The only thing that surrounds the two of you is a melancholic silence as you rummage around your room for the medkit you knew you had stowed away eons ago. For the most part, Jungkook patches himself up, downing a couple of painkillers, cleaning his wound in his abdomen and stitching it closed with a steady hand that has evidently done this before. You sit across from him in your desk chair, watching him intently as he sits on your bed, having shrugged off the top part of his suit and leaving his torso exposed. Other than the blood and dirt that cakes his golden skin, you take note of the toned muscles that make his abs and the way they flex in tandem with every time he winces as he tugs at his wound.
When heâs done, the silence is still unmoving. Jungkook wants to speak but his throat is dry and any time he dares open his mouth to say something, anything, he immediately recoils. Itâs only when youâre helping him into your bathroom so he can take a shower does he finally gather the courage he needed all this time without his mask on. Before you can turn to walk away on him, he catches your attention by calling your name. When he speaks next, his voice is faint, terrified.
âIâm sorry.â
He gulps when you turn to look up at him and suddenly heâs made aware of the fact that the two of you are cramped so closely together in your small bathroom. It makes the shame he feels more prominent as he looks you in the eyes.
âYou were the first person I could think of when this happened,â he says. âIâ I know I have no right to be here after what I did to you but I just needed someone. I needed you.â
Your heart flutters at his words though you hide this feeble act by turning away from him. âItâs whatever, Jungkook,â He hears you mumble faintly, your back to him. âAnything I can do to help.â
He wants to say something more but he hesitates again. He watches as you take a deep breath, the heave of your shoulders under a heavy weight, before you ultimately walk out of the door and shut it behind you, leaving it slightly ajar. You linger in your bedroom, standing in front of your window as you gaze out, absentmindedly gnawing on your lower lip as you fold your arms tighter around your torso. You hear the shower switch on, let the calming sound of falling water wash over you, and shut your eyes momentarily. You can still see the light from the bathroom pouring out into the darkness of your room from the angled door, and can see the steam start to cloud the mirror.
Thereâs something so indistinctly intimate about having him in your shower in the next room over after days of avoiding one another. You have every right to be enraged and upset with him and yet you arenât. You canât bring yourself to ever hate the boy in the room over. You understand why he left so abruptly and it makes sense but now, in that moment in time, with nothing but a wall dividing you two, there is a certain type of craving you canât subdue. A craving and a yearning to be closer to him; to tell him how you feel before, if even, he decides to flee in the morning after.
You blame it on your stubbornness that pushes you forward. Really, it seems to happen in such a haze, a rush of adrenaline. One moment, youâre standing by the window; in the next moment, youâre by the bathroom door, your fingers clutching the handle. As you push it open, you can only see a misty silhouette of Jungkookâs figure from beyond the steamed glass doors of the shower. Your heart is hammering against your chest as you walk to the shower, slowly kicking off your shorts as you go.
Jungkook must hear you as you make your way into the bathroom because as soon as you carefully slide open the glass door, heâs already staring at you with a lack of surprise, noting the baggy t-shirt you wear and the way his heart flips when he imagines you in a similar shirt of his. You only meet his curious eyes, noting the water that trickles down his toned and glistening body and flattens his usual unkempt hair into his lashes. He shakes his hair out of his eyes and suddenly he looks remorseful. Itâs almost as if he can read your mind and anticipates every second you take to just step inside, his eyes beckoning you to come. Itâs not like he cares; in fact, he wants you next to him. God, he just wants you so bad.
Steady hands find the hem of your baggy white t-shirt that you lift up and over your head, exposing the smooth expanse of your bare stomach and the perk of your bare breasts. You shimmy out of your baby pink underwear and, suddenly, youâre standing completely vulnerable before him and yet this is all he wants and all you want. You step inside the shower, closing the distance between you and him even more until youâre right in front of him, letting the warm water pour down onto you. Itâs become stifling hot in that little space and thereâs only a split moment where you fear youâve made a mistake before you feel Jungkookâs hand come up to gently hold the side of your face. His thumb caresses your cheekbone, his eyes gazing into yours, and then heâs kissing you.
Itâs a soft kiss, one where he takes his time to thoroughly enjoy it, first kissing your upper lip, then your lower lip in some sort of sensual manner that leaves chills running down your spine. He leaves a trail of warm and wet kisses from your jawline to your neck, nuzzling his nose against your throat as your breath catches. His hands fall to grasp at your hips, yanking you toward him and you so easily comply, melting completely into his broad chest and immediately feeling a sense of warmth as if youâve always belonged there, wrapped up in his strong arms.
âYouâre blushing,â he remarks gently, making you realize heâs pulled apart from you to study your face. His fingers brush away the hair that falls into your eyes and he smiles. âYouâre blushing now after you walked in on me naked? God, youâre so cute.â
You whine something in protest, burying your face in his neck and he laughs. His fingers tickle at your sides, causing you to squirm in his grip, and when you look at him again, his stare is tender and fond.
âCome here,â he mumbles.
You let him pull you into another kiss that has your head spinning. His tongue grazes your lower lip, teeth slightly nibbling down on the flesh in a way that jolts your heart. As your hands snake up his chest to wind with the hair at the nape of his neck, your own mouth parts open, letting his tongue twine with yours in a heated kiss. He can feel everything against his own body, from the perk of your breasts to the slope of your hips. His hands slide down to rest upon your lower back and the way he pulls you flush against him, letting you brush against his firm cock, makes your head spin again. Itâs what wills you to start grinding your hips against his in a slow pattern that has his breath hitching in his throat, his fingers digging tighter into your skin.
âYouâre driving me insane,â his voice is husky as he speaks, smooth as it filters through your ears.
You canât help but smirk against his mouth. âLikewise.â
âHow about we get out of here?â he asks. âThe bed seems a hell of a lot more comfortable.â
You nod eagerly, mumbling a small, âPlease,â against his luscious lips, too reluctant to pull away. He seems to have trouble, too, as he remains in his spot, even long after he reaches down to turn the water off, his lips still locked with yours. Granted, it gives you time to dry off before heâs hoisting you up with ease, instinctively letting your legs wrap around him. A thought abruptly pops into your head and causes you to gasp, your lips parting from his with a significant pop.
âJungkook!â You scold. âBe careful! Did you forget about the gaping wound in your side or?â
âIâm fine,â he assures, already swiftly carrying you out of the bathroom and into your room.
âI donât care what your magical radioactive spider bite does for you,â You retort. âI donât want to somehow hurt you.â
He laughs in response, a sound that reverberates against his chest and your own torso. Heâs already standing by the bed when he carefully lowers you down onto it. He crawls over you, instantly towering over your body as he leans down to chase your lips. In one quick movement, you hook your leg around his waist and, using your hands, shift him over until heâs on his back and youâre cradling his hips. He seems surprised at first, his stare flickering from the navel of your stomach to the soft buds of your breasts. Past the valley of your chest, his eyes fall once more upon yours and he smiles breathlessly, his hair sticking up in tufts.
âReally?â
Your eyes fall to the stitched wound on his side covered in gauze and your fingers brush against it delicately, following the natural curve of his abs. âIâm serious, bugboy. You may be this notorious, unstoppable force out there, but to me youâll always be Jungkook.â
He pouts. âThat doesnât sound as cool as being Spider-Man.â
âSpider-Man is cool.â
âSee? Even you think so. This is why I never told you â everyone thinks Spider-Man is cooler than Jungkook.â
A roll of your eyes has him smirking, though the smile is quick to falter when you begin to grind your hips against his, feeling his firm member poke at your thigh. His jaw drops open slightly at the sudden contact, his brows knitting together in slick concentration as his eyes fall to your glistening soft core.
âYou didnât let me finish,â You breathe steadily. âSpider-Man is cool, but Jungkook is cooler. Youâve always been strong and dauntless to me. Youâve always been a hero to me.â
âGod,â he moans, âyouâre making it really hard to focus on how cute youâre being when I can already feel how wet you are.â
The giggle that slips past your lips only further proves his point. His head rolls back against the pillows beneath him as you continue to slowly grind against him.
âDo you want me to stop?â You taunt.
âNo, no,â he gasps. âHoly shit, no. We can save the mushy talk for afterwards, right? Please?â
You nod briskly, gulping for air as you feel the burning sensation between your thighs. Your fingers dance down the front of your stomach to the bundle of nerves that you rub at carefully. Jungkook watches intensely as you pleasure yourself before him, feels his own cock hardening at the sight of your fingers gracefully rubbing patterns into your clit, coating your digits with your leaking cum. He writhes beneath you, desperately aware of his own need for you, but god help him if he doesnât finish watching or helping you get off. He swallows thickly, loosening his dry throat.
âWell, if youâre gonna make me sit here then,â he says, âcan you at least let me help?â
âIâm listening.â
âGood,â he grins. âThen come sit on my face.â
He says it so confidently that it has you stuttering in your pace. Your eyes flicker down to his mischievously twinkling eyes and the way he bites on his lower lip. You hardly hesitate at his command, pushing yourself off of his crotch and shuffling yourself forward, tossing one knee over his head so that heâs seated nicely between your thighs. His hands remain on your hips to keep you steady as you wiggle around until youâre comfortable. He plants a kiss on the inside of your thigh, murmuring, âIâll take good care of you, baby. Sit back and relax.â
You do as you're told, letting him pull you carefully down to his face and feeling as he leaves a trail of kisses along the inside of your thigh. When his mouth is hovering just over your core, you can feel his warm breath fanning against you and hum in delight, waiting eagerly for his every move. He nudges you closer and closer until you feel that one fell sweep of his tongue against your core, warm and slick as it grazes your folds, immediately sending a shock of white hot pleasure surging through your body. A shocked moan emits from your parted lips in a sound similar to, âOoh,â that has Jungkook smirking against you.
Suddenly, all you can focus on is him and the way his tongue works so expertly against you, kitten licking at your core until youâre dripping wet in a lewd combination of saliva and your own succulence. You nearly lose your balance the moment he makes contact with you and, with each passing second of immense pleasure, it makes it more difficult to hold on. Your thighs shamelessly squeeze shut (though Jungkook grips lightly onto one of your thighs to shift you apart) and when you feel yourself wobble, breathless and dizzy from the feeling of hot fire burning at your core, your hands fly out to grasp at Jungkookâs carob locks, silky to the touch as they slide out from the seams of your fingers. Admittedly, having Jungkookâs face buried beneath your thighs is a ridiculously hot sight that only spurs your blatant spiral into a panting mess.
âJungkookâ FâFuckâ Oh my godââ
The moan that leaves you is throaty, guttural and Jungkook swears heâs never heard anything sexier. Watching you writhe helplessly above him is all that he needs. As his tongue licks firmly at your clit, he canât help but reach down to his own hard dick. His fingers wrap delicately around his shaft and he pumps himself slowly, groaning into your womanhood at the thought of your delicious and hot walls wrapped around him. He shuts his eyes as he works in a smooth rhythm against both him and yourself, imagining what it would be like to just have you anyway he wants, imagining your own reactions similar to the ones youâre making now.
âAh, shitââ You gasp suddenly. âFuck, Jungkook, you feel so goodââ
God, there you go again. His palm squeezes harder against his member at your breathy moans and he swears youâre driving him absolutely mad. To him, this feels so surreal. Heâs dreamed of this; heâs dreamed and wanted nothing more innocent than to just fucking hold your hand and yet here you are in such a compromising position with him and he feels like the luckiest guy in the world. The best part about it all is that you make him feel this much bliss, this dizzy, when heâs simply just around you. Fuck, heâs so in love with you.
Your fingers clutch a little tighter at his roots and his eyes snap open. He stares up at your frazzled mess and, with his free hand, presses his fingers against your core in areas that his tongue has yet not reached. He coats his digits in your glistening arousal and coaxed with such ease heâs able to push them past your folds, earning another beautiful moan from you. He curls his finger inside you, stretching your core, flicks his tongue a little harder at your clit, squeezes his own hand tighter around his cock as he desperately jacks himself off to this, to you. He pumps his finger in and out of you in tandem with his own hand around his length, hearing your sweet whimpers and choked moans.
He must curl his finger just right inside of you or maybe itâs the way your sensitive clit begins to throb with each lick he takes or maybe itâs when he joins his tongue with his finger in a dangerous duo but then you jut your hips forward ever so slightly and jerk them back. Heâs eating you out with such vigour, such hard passion that you can feel his chin and his nose brush against your core and each contact has you gasping. He pulls apart just enough when he feels you jerk your hips backward again and youâre so caught up in the pure ecstasy that has overcome you that you hardly realize until you hear him speaking, muttering faintly against your folds, âCâmon, baby. Ride my face. Cum for me.â
His only response is a weak sputtering as you try to gasp for air. You donât need to be told twice at this point as you feel as if youâre chasing after your high. You unabashedly begin rocking your hips against his mouth and fingers. He tilts his head just right so that his nose burrows into your clit, his tongue and digit slipping further within your walls that clench around the thought of having something of girth like Jungkookâs length inside you. Jungkookâs own hand slacks at his pace around his member, his fingers reaching up to dig into your waist and thighs to hold you in place as you continuously rock against him. Youâre so close, you can feel the familiar tension start to form in the very pit of your stomach.
âFâFuck!â You cry. âJungâkookâ Iâmââ
Your voice breaks off into frail croaks, your hands flying out to grab onto the sturdy frame of your bed in front of you as you feel your high approach. Jungkook pulls you harder against his face, letting you grind against him as he burrows into you, completely ravaging you with his mouth until you feel your release take hold of you. It shakes you to the bone, causes you to writhe in pleasure above him as you come to a halt, emitting a loud moan of his name as your hot release leaks onto his chin, coating his mouth in your shimmering cum.
âFuck, fuckâ Jungkook!â Your nails dig into the bed frame, your teeth sinking into your lower lip and muffling your dulcet moans.
He laps at your core, licking away every last drop of your succulence until your hips twitch away from the sensitivity you feel. When he finally pulls apart from you, he stares up at you from between your thighs with an amused smirk, his hair messily mused from your doing. You muster a faint smile in return as you pant heavily, attempting to calm your shrill heart and he beckons you over. You blissfully clamber back down his torso, once more straddling his hips as you curl up into his chest, tilting your head to press a soft kiss to his lips. You feel him smile against your own mouth and itâs something so gentle, so ardent, that it warms your heart.
âThat was so fucking hot,â he mumbles between kisses. âRound two?â
Giggling, you part from him momentarily only to reconnect your lips to his jawline, nibbling on the soft skin there. âHow about I let you have a turn?â
He quirks a brow in curiosity though he already knows your intentions as your hand flutters down his stomach. He canât help the moan that slips past his lips as he feels your soft hands grasp firmly at his hardened cock. He feels as if he could practically melt in your hands or explode at any moment and you hadnât even done anything. His hips instinctively buck into your fist but he shakes his head. He sits up suddenly, startling you in your spot though his hands come out to grasp at your face and hold you in place as he kisses you feverishly.
âHow about,â he breathes, nipping at your lower lip, âyou let me make love to you right here, right now.â
For a moment, you become carried away with the taste of his lips mingled with your wet arousal that fades away fast. You return the kiss with such zeal, too reluctant to part from him just yet, that when you muster the nerve to lean away, youâre panting heavily.
âNot so fast, bugboy,â You taunt. âI still want you to rest.â
You give him a little nudge backward and he obediently follows your wordless command, plopping back against the pillows of your bed as he looks up at you, his hands resting on your upper thighs.
âI donât know if you can consider sex as resting,â he points out playfully, a wry grin plastered on his face.
He watches as you smile, the rapid heave and fall of your chest, as you wiggle around until youâre comfortable again on his lap and have lifted your hips off of him. Your hand wraps around his shaft once more and you pump him once, twice, in slow motions as you spread the leaking cum from his throbbing head along his shaft. His jaw drops open at the feeling, eyebrows knitting together, and his fingers dig a little too harshly into your skin accidentally but you donât at all mind â not when youâre able to see such a beautiful reaction from him as he comes undone before you.
Seconds pass of bated breath as you lower yourself slowly, carefully, to his cock. You run the tip of his length along your folds and up to your clit, rubbing small patterns against it that has both of you whimpering lowly. You coat him in your leaking arousal and then lower yourself onto him, finally connecting the two of your bodies as one.
âOh, fuck,â he grunts.
Jungkook seriously feels as if heâs about to explode â literally. Youâve only just sat on him and heâs afraid he wonât be able to hold himself together long enough before he feels his sweet release. Youâre just so warm and wet, so deliciously wet, that he slides easily into your walls that hug him just right. His mind is spinning, and even more so when he feels you stop halfway and lift your hips again. You drop them to the same level and then back again, repeating this process until you drop your hips fully, flush with his.
âOooh, Jungkook, hmm,â Your fingers dig into his abdomen at the feeling of being so damn full. You can practically feel him throbbing and your own walls clench and release around him as you adjust to his size.
âMoveââ he chokes out. âMove, pleaseâ holy shitââ
And you do. You grind against him, rolling your hips around his firm cock as the fire continues to burn between your legs. You raise your hips languidly and drop them back down again and again until youâve adopted some fluid rhythm, being so easily coaxed by your own cum.
âLike this?â You gasp.
He nods absentmindedly, swallowing thickly. âFuck yes, just like that, baby.â His head rolls back against the pillows, the vein in his neck straining, âYou feel soâ so fucking good.â
âTell me,â You breathe.
Jungkook finds it hard to concentrate when his eyes fall on you. He watches as your breasts move in tandem as you ride him, the glistening arousal on your folds that coat his length that he watches disappear into you each time. He greedily reaches out as heâs lost in his own thoughts, his hand cupping your plush breast in a firm hold, his thumb brushing against your perked nipple. Your back arches in response, leaning closer to his warm hand, as he focuses on the tightness that is your core.
âWarm,â he moans. âSo, so fucking wet â oh my god, youâre dripping, baby. Shit, you feel so perfect around my cock.â
You cry out his name, quickening your pace as you chase your high. Your strides are relentless, desperately searching for a sweet release and Jungkook feels the same. Heâs held it in this long â he isnât so sure he can hold himself together for much longer. He canât take it anymore. Just as he feels you slowing down from exhaustion, he sits up once more, his strong arms wrapping around your torso and pulling you tight against his chest. Your own arms slide around his neck and you lean forward to crash your lips against his as you roll your hips steadily against his now. The new angle has him hitting a spot in you that shakes you to the core, has stars forming in your eyes.
You bite down hard on his lower lip accidentally as you try to conceal the loud moan that bubbles at your lips. Jungkook only smirks in response, especially when you shamelessly let those strangled moans out. As you sink lower onto him, Jungkook thrusts his hips upward to meet yours halfway, earning a sharp gasp from you. He tightens his hold on you and continues to thrust up into you again and again, so hard and so fast that it makes you writhe with pleasure above him. You can feel him stretching you wide each time, can feel your sticky arousal begin to trickle down his cock and your thighs.
So much for making sure he doesnât hurt himself again â his thrusts are pure animalistic, hasty and needy, though all either of you care about in that moment is feeling that sweet release. You collapse entirely against Jungkookâs arms, letting him take hold of you as his hips smack against your ass. When you finally feel your second high of the night approach, your reaction feels near explosive. He thrusts again and again and you choke out somewhere between the sound of skin against skin and heavy breathing, âJâJungkookâ Fuck! Iâm closeââ
He growls in response, eager to push you to yours as he chases for his. Another thrust and, holy shit, there. He hits a spot in you once, twice, and over and over again that just feels so incredibly good that you canât help but unravel in his arms. It takes you by surprise, washing over you an immense cloud of bliss as white-hot pleasure blinds you, starting from your core and spiralling out to every edge of your body until your toes are curling. You cry out his name in a beautiful harmonious sound as your cum leaks profusely from you and coats him just right.
Fuck this â he doesnât care anymore that you want him to rest. He needs to feel his own release now. So he grabs you securely and then heâs twisting you around, shoving you onto your back as he pushes his hips into you. Youâre writhing beneath him, your back arching until your warm and sweaty chest is pressed against his. Your fucked out expression that stares back up at him but with such tired and loving eyes only spurs him on further (that, and the way youâre clenching so nicely around him). Itâs completely messy but heâs so close. Another hard slap of his hips and then heâs finally coming undone. He pulls out of you fast, his hand coming down to grab at his cock as he pumps himself, thickly coated with your juices.
He cums moments later with a deep, rough moan, releasing onto your stomach in ivory beads that paint you his. His hand slacks around his softening length and then he, so spent and slightly sore from his wound (only slightly, he swears), collapses against you. The room suddenly falls silent, safe for the heavy panting and the shrill beating of your hearts that you both try to tame. His face is buried in the crook of your neck and your arms wrap around him to lazily twine his hair with your fingers. Itâs nice to just lay there like that, enveloped in each other's arms, basking in the heavenly glow of euphoria. He kisses your neck then, soft and simple, and litters kisses down your throat to your collarbones and then back up again to your lips.
When he parts from you, his eyes remain locked on your mouth until he forces himself to look away and up at you. Youâre smiling at him and itâs the type of genuine, albeit exhausted, smile that always warms his insides and makes him feel at ease. Tracing the curve of your lips with his index finger, he hums thoughtfully to himself.
âI lied about before,â he says sheepishly. When you quirk a brow at him, he continues. âI lied about before when you asked me if Iâm ever afraid when I go out at night. Iâm always afraid. Part of why I wear that mask is so the people Iâm up against donât see me wimping out. But, god, when Iâm with you, I feel invincible.â
He watches as a light blush pinches at your cheeks, your fingers reaching up to softly graze his cheek.
âIâm so in love with you,â he whispers. âI love you. I always have and I swear you make me stronger. I donât know what it is. I think I just want to fight harder for you. I know I was a dick for leaving that night but I know we can make this work. I just need you to believe in me, too.â
Your eyes, littered with stardust, stare into his as if he is the entire world. âIâm strong, too, Jungkook. I donât always need protection.â
âI know that,â he chuckles.
âGood. Then get back down here and kiss me again, bugboy.â
Jungkook laughs. He doesnât hesitate to lean down to press his lips lovingly to yours. He melts against your chest and he is content if every night is like this, in each otherâs arms. As he deepens the kiss, he hears you whisper against his lips, âI love you, too, bugboy,â and it is all he needs to feel as if he has the world in his very palm.
Jungkook has always been afraid. He is afraid of not living to see the next day, afraid of losing you or his family or friends but every shred of fear fades away when heâs with you. As the city continues to breathe from beyond the brick walls of your apartment and as the sun begins to rise from the very heart of the metropolis along the horizon, Jungkook is certain that he and you together are invincible.
ⶠAll rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.
ⶠFeedback is always appreciated!
#btsbookclub#btsguild#bangtanhq#jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#bts#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk smut#jeon jungkook smut#bangtan smut#bangtan#bts fanfic#bts oneshots
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mum?
mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader
avengers x reader
req by @teenwonder ; i absolutely love the entire teams adoration for reader skfksngnsf its so cute! could i please request one a little more nat based? maybe r treats and loves nat like a mom but nat hadnât noticed that before, and the whole team is like listing examples of how and why đ„șđ„șđ„ș
summary: the four times you needed nat and the one time she admits that she needed you too.
warnings: blood, a random attack out of nowhere because i'm not creative, inaccurate writing of medical situations because i have no idea how those things work, also let's just pretend bruce was around during iron man 2 when tony still had palladium in his arc reactor, also inaccurate descriptions of palladium effects bcs i just...don't know much about palladium pls forgive me thanks, and idk any hospitals in new york/manhattan or even the states LMAO so uh bear with this, and last but not least, my inability to write good endings
word count: 5426
notes: that's a long ass warning nevertheless pls do enjoy this fic <3
"i'm going now, bye!" you bid the team who were having breakfast together, walking out of the common area.
"bye, cupcake! don't get into trouble, don't do what i'd do and definitely don't do what i wouldn't do." tony advised and you rolled your eyes because tony says that to you every morning before you leave for school.
"wait, don't forget your lunch!" nat stands up from her seat and grabs your lunch that she had packed, from the kitchen island, bringing it over to you. "thanks, nat!" you grabbed it, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.
nat smiles at the action, turning around to walk back to her spot on the table, only to find the team staring back at her with knowing looks.
"what?"
"you know, you only need to sign a couple papers and the kid's all yours." tony states matter-of-factly. nat snaps her head towards the man, an incredulous look on her face. "what are you talking about?"
"we all see the longing looks on both your faces. she's dying for you to call her your daughter and you, her mother." clint explains and the others nodded in agreement.
"that's nonsense. she has wanda too," nat reasons, sitting back down. "i'm pretty sure she sees wanda as a sister considering how much she drags wanda with her whenever she's causing trouble around the tower." steve raises his brows at the redhead who was in denial.
"she sees you as her mother, nat. just accept it," wanda tells her, taking a sip from her glass. "really? name me one time she showed it." nat challenges them, not knowing that they've been watching your interactions with her for the longest time.
"you have no idea what you just got yourself into, romanoff," clint chuckles, cracking his neck and knuckles as if preparing for a fight.
"remember new mexico?" he smirks and nat only frowns, trying to remember.
i.
"no!" you screamed, dropping down to the ground. you didn't care that you scraped your knees doing that, the only thing that mattered was the overwhelming feeling of grief engulfing your whole being. tears streamed down your face as you looked at the debris on the ground, the remainder of what used to be standing in front of you; a building. blown up, now in ruins.
clint, bucky and steve watched you break down in front of them, their hearts breaking at the sight in front of them as well as the fact that their teammate had been caught up in the middle of the explosion.
"y/n/n? come on, tony's team called for back up. we gotta go," steve tried to get you to stand up, failing when you kept your ground. you screamed when he tried again and their hearts clenched at the heartbreaking sound.
"we can't just leave her! please, we have to find her," you cried, clinging onto steve's body as he ran his hand up and down your suit-cladded back to soothe you. "y/n/n, we can't. the whole place is in ruins now," he didn't want to say it but he had to. he had to in order to get you to leave. "she's gone."
"she can't be gone! she can't just leave us! we need her! i need her, stevie.." you cried into his chest and he had to control himself so he didn't cry right then and there too.
he looked up to see bucky looking at the two of you guiltily, tapping his wrist to indicate that they were running out of time. steve had no choice but to carry you in his arms, getting you to leave the site against your will. but you were too weak to fight back now. "what am i gonna do without her now, stevie?" you asked quietly.
"we're gonna be okay, y/n/n," he tells you, sitting you down on a chair and settling down next to you as clint flew the jet to your next location. the atmosphere was tense and you could tell everyone, too, was sad about this.
"what if we're not? what if we're not gonna be okay, stevie? i know i won't be." you wiped the tears streaming down your face despite the fact that your face still wasn't drying up any time soon.
"because nat wouldn't want to see us like this. she'll be angry if she sees that we're risking people's lives just because of her." he says truthfully.
"we're landing, guys." clint announces and the team prepared for another round of fighting. steve turns to you, wiping the tears on your face as he made you look up at him. "now let's save some people and make nat proud, yeah?"
you nod at him sadly, preparing your weapons. all of you got out the jet and the second battle of the day begun. boy, were these people unlucky because they were on the receiving end of your fury.
you were busy taking down a group of guards alone when you heard a familiar voice. "y/n, behind you!" and you turned just in time to take down a guard who was aiming at you.
you didn't even have time to register your shock of seeing the redhead because more guards came at you two. you guys fought alongside each other until all the men were taken down.
"nat?" you breathed out. "yes, bub?" she answers as you both carefully walked over the knocked out men. she was taken aback when you slammed into her, hugging her the tightest you ever did since you met her.
"please don't ever do that again." you mumbled into her chest. she was about to ask you what you meant when she heard you sniffling. figuring out it wasn't the appropriate moment to ask, she continued to just hug and comfort you in silence.
"wait, that was why she cried that day? because she thought i was in that building when it blew up?" nat asks after steve finished the story. "i never found out why because she never told me."
"yeah, you should've seen her when the building exploded. completely shattered my heart, dude." clint states, remembering the broken down state you were in that day.
"wait, did you guys not grief over my supposed death then?" nat glares at clint, bucky and steve. "in our defense, they were about to blow up about a hundred people, we didn't have much time to process the whole situation." clint tries to convince his best friend, only to receive a glare again from her.
"alright but just because she cried when she thought i was dead, doesn't mean she sees me as her mum. i'd cry too if any one of you guys died," she states, still in denial.
she did love you like how a mother would love her child. but she didn't want you to feel that she was forcing the title onto you. after all, you had so many other adults around you, who's to say that you saw someone else as a parent figure instead of her? she didn't want to make you uncomfortable.
"woman, are you serious?" sam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "need i remind you that the girl sacrificed her life for you?"
ii.
"nat, watch out!" you stood right behind her where the man was about to attack her. you gave him a harsh kick to the head and that was all it took for the man to go unconscious.
the redhead turned around, not having enough time to comprehend what had happened before you dropped into her arms. you two were lucky the last of the men had already been taken out.
"bub? what's wrong?"
at this point, you were fully leaning against her. she was holding up your whole weight, hands wrapped around your middle to support you. that was when she felt it. the familiar thick substance on her fingers, leaking from the back of your suit.
her eyes widened, pulling one hand away from you to look at it. red. her breathing picked up as one of her hands felt around your back, finally feeling the handle of a knife sticking out from your back.
your eyes were already drooping by now and she lightly shook you awake, careful to not hurt you. she lowered you down and you were both sat on the floor now.
she presses a finger to her ear and you could hear her voice echo in your ear from your own comms. "can someone come please," she paused, exhaling shakily. "y/n's down."
if it had been any other person, she probably would be bringing them to the jet by now but it was you. she didn't know what came over her but when she saw that you were injured, it was like her whole body shut down. her knees felt weak and she couldn't bring herself to move.
"hey, hey, keep your eyes open. can you do that?" she asked gently and you nodded weakly. "bub, why did you do that?" she cried softly, moving your hair away from your face as you leaned sideways against her. the action caused your face to be smudged by your own blood from her hands but she didn't care as she caressed your cheek.
"heâhe was gonna hurt you. iâi couldn't..." you paused a while, the pain getting too much for you to bear. "y/n, don't strain yourself. you need to stay awake," she tells you as tears streamed down her face.
"rather me than you," you whispered. nat's eyes widened at this. "don't say that, bub." she scolds gently.
you smiled weakly at her. "i've grown too dependent on you, nat. it's to the point that i," you coughed and nat worried that you were straining yourself but you continued. "that i'd rather die than live without you. you probably can go on with life without me but i can't without you. i need you, nat." your eyes closed and nat panics, shaking your body.
"y/n?! bub?! stay awake, please, they're coming!" nat cries out loud, holding onto your limp body.
"did we not agree to not mention that to me anymore?" nat glares at sam for bringing that up.
the night of that incident had been one of the worst nights for nat. she sat by your bed all night after you had been treated. she had been the first one you saw after you woke up. she had been the one you broke down in front of after you admitted the full reasoning behind your actions. she had been the one who opened her arms for you to make yourself at home in.
"i'm sorry but you must be blind if you can't see how really she sees you for the past years," bucky states. nat turns to him with a glare. "you don't know what you're talking about."
"oh really? who does she call whenever she has a really bad nightmare?" bucky questions rhetorically with his eyebrows raised.
iii.
"no, please, don't!" you begged, asleep and thrashing around in your bed. quiet whimpers turned into heavy breathing as you plead for your life in your nightmare. "please," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling harshly.
FRIDAY, noticing the amount of distress you were in, alerted the closest person to your room, that being bucky who was returning from a late night trip to the kitchen for some water.
he quickly went into your room, only to see you shivering and thrashing around in your bed. "doll?" he approaches slowly, finding you still asleep, though sweating a lot. nightmare, he realised.
"doll? wake up," he gently shakes you and you immediately jolt awake, breathing heavily as you register what was going on. "it's okay, it was just a nightmare," he soothes you, holding you close as one hand rubbed up and down your back while the other held your head to his chest.
none of that helped as you were still in the same state as you were when you woke up. "are you okay?" he asks, worried. "nat... i need nat.. please i need her," you whimpered, shaking in his hold. you were having trouble breathing.
"FRIDAY, get romanoff."
within minutes, nat arrived, looking panicked and disheveled like she had just woken up, which she just did. "what's wrong?" she asks bucky, approaching you two.
"she was having a nightmare and woke up and i think she's having a panic attack. she asked for you," he informs her and immediately moves away when she approaches, so that she could take his place.
"bub? it's me," you look up to meet natasha's pretty green eyes. "you're okay, bub. can you tell me five thing you can see?"
you looked away from her eyes, looking around your room. "iâi see my book on my nightstand, my lamp, my jacket on the chair, my laptop and the painting on the wall." you told her after some difficulties.
"good, that's good. four things you can feel?"
"i feel the socks on my feet, my fluffy blanket, the pillow i'm leaning on and your hands around me."
she smiles softly at you. "three things you can hear?"
"i hear your voice. aâand the faint noise from the ac and i can also hear bucky's breathing." you look up at the man and he smiles sheepishly at you, standing around awkwardly. you gave him a small smile back.
"two things you can smell?"
"i can smell my own shampoo..and my room's air freshener." you told her more calmly now, feeling the panic attack already going away.
"one thing you want to taste?"
"i wanna taste wanda's blueberry pancakes." you pout and the two adults couldn't help but chuckle. "you can have them in the morning. right now you need to sleep so you can have the energy to devour them tomorrow, okay?" you nod at the woman as she tucks you in.
not long after, you fell asleep. she then presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving with a less worried bucky now. and sure enough, the next morning, wanda made you blueberry pancakes.
"okay, so what? we all need someone to help us through panic attacks?" nat rolls her eyes. "did you miss the part where i came in and tried to help but she specifically asked for you? she needed you, nat."
"guys, i... i love her with my whole heart but she has all of us. i don't wanna make her feel like she's restricted to only one of us. you all love her too," nat reasons.
"yes but she doesn't have anyone to call her mum and frankly, i think you'd be perfect for it." wanda encourages the older woman.
"iâ" before she could continue, her phone rang loudly and she thanked whoever it was that called her because now she didn't have to make up excuses about her doubt of becoming your official mother.
iv.
she looks down at the caller id, sighing when it was you, meaning the team had more against her now. of course she didn't mind you calling her, you could call her when she'd be asleep after a mission and she'd still pick up with a smile on her face. but it was the fact that the whole team could see how she softened when she realised it was you who called that bothered her. she really didn't want them to let her have hopes that you'd accept her as your mother.
"bub?" she said into the phone and half the team smirked at her while the other half gave her knowing smiles. "aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"
"yeah but uh are you busy right now? i um, i need you."
nat immediately stands up, worry etched onto her face and the team frowned at this. "what happened? are you okay?"
"you know how i told happy i wanted to walk to school today? yeah, i just remembered why i don't walk to school anymore."
"what do you mean? what happened? are you hurt? did someone hurt you?" she bombards you with questions out of worry. at this point, the team had also stopped their chatter and teasing looks, equally worried for your well-being.
"yeah, i am. wait, maybe not. i mean, i was just being dramatic but uh, i tripped on who-knows-what and now i have a sprained ankle. i can't walk now so i'm standing in an alley right now so i'm not in the way of people. can you come get me?"
nat sighs in relief, thankful that it wasn't anything that she was thinking of. "you are unbelievable, y/n." she chuckles in disbelief at your clumsiness. "can you tell me where you are? i'll come get you now. i'll have the school know you're not coming today." you told her your location and she immediately leaves after telling the team what happened to you.
you were expecting nat to call again, to tell you she was around the corner but instead you heard a whoosh of air beside your head, followed by a crack sound. your head followed the sound, eyes widening when you saw that a dart had struck the wall beside your head. you looked ahead, trying to see where that came from.
if it hadn't been for your fast reflexes being an avenger for the past few years, you probably wouldn't have ducked in time when another dart came flying right for your head. "what the hell?" you grunted, staying low but still looking around for the source. you squinted when you looked up, the sun blazing but you managed to catch a glimpse of a man on a rooftop nearby. he had blonde hair and was dressed in all black, donning a same coloured mask that covered the bottom half of his face.
"you had one job! how could you miss her twice?!" the blonde hears his colleague hiss in his ear through the earpiece. "i'm sorry! i'm no hawkeye, how was i supposed to get her in one try?!" he scolds back.
"you didn't even get her in two!"
"shut up and just let me work! you're distracting me!"
"hurry because i see the redheaded one nearing the alley. boss'll kill us if he finds out we didn't get her in her vulnerable state."
"i'm trying, i'm trying!" the blonde closes one eye, his sight now locked on your crouched state. he saw you move once you saw him and he cursed under his breath, his weapon following your movements. "she's moving!"
"just take the shot and be done with it! you have to go now!"
and shoot he did. after he shot the dart gun, he immediately fled but it wasn't like you were going to be able to chase him down or anything. a scream left your lips as a dart pierced through your skin, right under your shoulder.
you dropped down to the ground, right in the middle of the alleyway. you cried when you felt the burn in your flesh. you had been stabbed multiple times before with much bigger objects so why did this feel different?
"y/n?! is that you?!" you heard nat's voice yell from a small distance away. "i'm here," you croaked out, feeling your body grow weaker at an alarming rate.
"oh my god, bub, why are you on the ground? it's dirty, c'mon let's get you up. which foot did you sprain?" she places both her hands under your arms, pulling you up on your feet before accidentally dropping you back when you let out a shriek, crying out in pain.
"oh my god, did i hit your ankle? are you okay?" nat assumed that your tear-stained face was because of your sprained ankle but then you wheezed, your eyes drooping the longer she stood there.
your right hand slowly reached across your left shoulder, the butt of the dart sticking out of your skin now in between your shaking fingers. nat's eyes followed your hand movement's, a gasp leaving her lips.
"y/n, what happened?!" she panicked but before she could even get an answer from you, you had already blacked out. her eyes widened, knowing it was the dart because why else would you pass out that quick from a simple penetration in the shoulder. you had dealt with much worse than that and she knew your tolerance level.
she took off your bag, careful to not move the dart. she then placed her hands under your knees and behind your back, easily picking your unconscious body up and rushing back to the tower.
when she arrived, she was met with many confused yet concerned looks from the tower staff, seeing the black widow, rushing in with the youngest avenger unconscious in her arms. they had seen you leave the tower for school about half an hour ago so they knew something must've happened on the way.
"get bruce in the hospital wing. tell him it's urgent." she tells the woman working the front desk, hurrying into the elevator and telling FRIDAY to get her to the floor she so desperately wanted to arrive at quicker. black lines appeared on the left side of your neck, slowly spreading to the right side and she assumed it was from that damned dart in your left shoulder.
"natasha! what's wrong? they said it was an emergency," the doctor spoke in a panicked voice when nat entered, immediately going quiet when he saw you in her arms, neck lined with seemingly black veins.
nat laid you down on the surgery table, frown growing when black lines steadily spread to your arms now. though she was too worried to think, she managed to at least tell bruce what was outwardly wrong with you.
"dart. left shoulder." she blurted, incapable of forming proper sentences now that she had seen more of you. the black lining your skin got her speechless and anxious. bruce got ready with medical gloves, removing the dart from your flesh before analysing the pattern of your skin. it looked familiar.
"FRIDAY, get tony down here. it's urgent."
"bruce, please, what's wrong with her?" she cried, tears now freely streaming down her face. she didn't cry much in front of anyone but when it came to you, you always managed to get her to do just that.
"hey, what's going on? FRIDAY said there was an emergency here, who's hurt?" nat heard tony's panicked voice but she didn't make an effort to reply. her gaze was fixed on only you.
tony's jaw dropped, frowning when he saw you on the bed, upper body covered in black lines. "what the hell happened?!"
tony stepped beside bruce, taking a closer look at your skin. his frown deepened. "wait, it looks like.."
"yeah, looks exactly like when you had palladium instead of vibranium in your arc reactor."
"does that meanâ"
"palladium's been running through her veins for about twenty minutes now. FRIDAY, how high is her blood toxicity level?" bruce asks, sampling a drop of your blood from when he took out the dart.
"53% and it is still steadily increasing."
"tony, at the rate it's going, if she's not treated in the next fifteen minutes or so, she'll.." bruce pauses, not wanting to say it out loud.
"no, she just needs lithium dioxide. that's how fury and i cured your palladium poisoning, tony." nat finally speaks.
"SHIELD probably has them but they're all the way in dc. they're not gonna reach here in time," tony states solemnly, reaching over to move your hair out of your face, looking down at you sadly.
but he was immediately pulled aside, nat grabbing his collar and looking him straight in the eyes. "you have your stupid iron suits that can probably travel faster than the speed of sound if you try. you can go down there yourself and get the damn thing. i swear to god, tony, i'm literally going to destroy those stupid suits myself if you don't put them to good use." nat threatens, glaring at the billionaire.
tony's eyes widened, the genius having not thought about nat's idea yet. "yeah, yeah, you're right, i'll go now."
he left immediately and nat approached your bed hesitantly, not wanting to see the black lines making home on the skin on your upper body. "do you think tony'll make it back in time?" she sniffles and bruce's worried frown on his face softened. "of course he will. he won't let anything happen to y/n. we won't let anything happen to y/n." he assured her.
there was nothing they could do now but wait for tony to come back with the lithium dioxide. nat sat beside your bed, hands gingerly grasping one of your own. despite the black staining it, nat held it to her face and her tears rolled past the back of your hand.
bruce decided to give her some privacy, opting to inform the whole team of the situation instead of standing around idly.
nat pulled your hand away from her face, rubbing her thumb over the back of it, crying even more at the sight in front of her. "y/n, please. i've never told you this but i need you." she pauses, breathing in shakily. "i've always needed you and i'll always need you. you can't leave me, please. you said i could go on with life without you but you're so wrong, y/n. you're the reason i'm still here and you're the reason i still want to be here. if you're not here then it's as if i have no reason, no purpose. i need you, y/n. so much more than i'd like to admit. heck, probably much more than you need me. so please, don't leave me. i can't do this without you." nat sobs out, watching the patterns on your skin spreading and growing bolder.
at this point, the whole team had now gathered outside of the room, watching nat cry over you. they wanted so bad to get a closer look at their beloved baby avenger but they respected nat and instead, waited for her to finish talking to you. once she stood up and looked around, bruce knew she was done so he entered, followed by the team.
"status, FRIDAY?" bruce asks, sampling a bit of your blood again. "blood toxicity at 96% now."
the team looked your unconscious body in apprehension, some crying and some worried out of their minds.
"goddamnit! where the hell is stark?!" nat growled. her eyes were now puffy after having spent the last half an hour crying. the team had never seen her lose her cool like this but they figured why.
as if on cue, tony's iron man suit crashed through the windows of the room but he couldn't care less. his main priority was to get to you quickly. in his hand was a silver briefcase that he passed to bruce.
bruce opened the case before wasting no time in plunging the syringe containing lithium dioxide, your supposed cure, into you. immediately, the black patterns on your skin started disappearing. it was slow but noticeable. it started from the tips of your fingers, going up towards your neck.
everyone sighed in relief, and to tony's surprise, nat hugged him tightly. "thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me." she whispers. tony pats her back gently. "hey, i care about her too, okay? of course i'd do this for her. any one of us would."
nat smiles at him when she let him go, turning back to you and almost crying out in joy when your skin had finally turned back to normal. she let the medical assistants set your bed up and handle your sprained ankle before going back to sit by you. the team left her alone with you once again.
it was only about an hour later did you wake up, squinting when bright lights shone down on you. you moved around but you felt hands around your left and you heard a familiar voice.
"and remember when you dragged wanda to pull that prank on me with you and after you did, i grounded you like i was your mum or something?" you hear her chuckle, still not noticing that you've woken up.
"i didn't mind, though. frankly, i don't think i would ever mind if you continued acting like my mother or something," you spoke and she immediately tore her gaze from your hands, looking at you, now wide awake.
"bub!" she hugs you so tightly you didn't think you could breathe. you still returned the hug though, laughing. "i was worried you might still have some palladium in your bloodstream."
"wait, palladium?" you asked her in shock. "yeah, the dart that got you in that alley, it contained palladium. it's highly toxic so we used lithium dioxide to counter it. speaking of the dart, i'm going to find out who did this to you and they're never going to see the light of day for putting us through all of this." nat says, disturbingly calm.
"yeah...you do that," you tell her, slightly scared. "but palladium? in my blood? how cool is that? i had literal metal in my blood! i could've become like tony but like...palladium woman or something." you said excitedly.
"you do know we already have metal in our blood, right bub?" nat questions in amusement. "oh." you say dumbly. "and palladium don't belong in our body and you literally almost died because of it." your mouth opened but no words came out.
"speaking of, can you please not do that again? i really thought i was gonna lose you." she whispers, stroking your hair. "oh yeah, of course. i'll just announce to the whole world to not target the youngest avenger," you joke, smile dropping when nat gave you a stern look.
"nat, being part of the avengers at my age undoubtedly means i'll be a target for the bad people out there, but i don't care because while i get to kick ass, i know all of you have my back when it's my ass that's kicked. and i think that's the best part of being an avenger; the sense of security i get having you amazing people as my teammates." you tell her honestly and she smiles softly.
"oh come here you," she pulls you in for another hug but this time it's better because you could still breathe. you make yourself comfortable, snuggling into her.
"did you mean it?" she asked and you look up at her in confusion. "mean what?"
"when you said you wouldn't mind me acting like your mother."
"of course i do, you're like the mother i never had. i wouldn't even mind you being my actual mother." you say without a second thought, eyes widening when you realised what you had said. you swore under your breath, knowing you've just made it awkward between you two.
"iâ really?" despite the teams efforts to make her see the truth, it was much more meaningful when she heard you say it yourself. "yâyeah.." you admit sheepishly.
"then you wouldn't mind if i actually adopted you?" she asks carefully, gauging your reaction. your jaw dropped, eyes going wide once again. "are you serious?!"
"yeah." she smiles at you fondly. "no! of course i won't mind!" you hug her tightly, tears forming in your eyes. you had gone all your life without parents so this was a huge thing for you. not only were you going to finally have a mother, but the most amazing woman you knew was going to be your mother.
"mum?" you tested the title, smiling when she acknowledged it. you were now crying in joy.
"hey, don't cry." she soothes you, running a hand up and down your back. "no, no, i'm just so happy. this is the best day of my life." you tell her. "me too, bub."
you stayed in her arms until you fell back asleep, nat tucking you in before going back to sit down on the chair. she looked down at you fondly.
sure, she was scared of the big step she was about to take with you but she had you with her and she knew that was enough. "i love you, y/n." she whispers, planting a kiss on the side of your head.
taglist <3
@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky
#marvel x teen!reader#avengers x teen!reader#avengers x reader#bruce banner x teen!reader#bucky barnes x teen!reader#clint barton x teen!reader#natasha romanoff x teen!reader#sam wilson x teen!reader#steve rogers x teen!reader#tony stark x teen!reader#avenger!reader
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đcongrats on 800 followers!! could I have a blurb -angst prompt 24 please?
her maroon lipstick
sirius black x fem!reader
summary: sirius looked at everyone but you
word count: 1.1k
warnings: cheating, hinted wolfstar, blackinnon bc that deserves a warning, unrequited love, kissing, swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol, angst, self doubt, insecurity, mentions of sex
a/n: if u couldnt tell inwas feeling mean today and isa told me to break her heart so: *que jazz hands*
you loved sirius blackâ maybe even adored the boy, but you knew you probably loved him a little bit too much. he loved you as well, he at-least told you he loved you, and you didnât want to presume he was a liar. he had always looked at you, your looks, your body, your face but he never had truly seen you; your soul, your essence, youâre entire being.
he was always gazing at someone else entirely, you didnât wanna know it, or see it, but you did. it didnât matter who he was looking at but it definitely wasnât you. wether it was his lycanthrope of a bestfriend, or the local gryffindor beater marlene fucking mckinnon, they werenât you.
throughly the same frequent sentences were pushed into the back of your mind with the same coherent words, âitâs fine, theyâre just hanging out.â or âitâs nothing, donât worry about it.â but those were simply just your excuses for him.
that night before a quidditch game you had been blown off, yet a-fucking-gain. you truly werenât surprised, you expected his neglect. but the feeling of dejection truly lingered through every nerve in your bloodstream. you werenât the number one in his life; you were a backup, a second option, or your personal least favourite.... just not enough.
because marlene, was more important. he had to go study with herâ i mean since when does sirius fucking study? he simply doesnât, he doesnât study, and he doesnât fucking care. but still reminding yourself, âitâs fine, theyâre just going over stuff.â i mean even james and peter had perceived something you were unaware of.
a day later, a gryffindor winâ against slytherins of course, a significant calling for celebration. unconcerned you threw on a simple outfit, nothing too fancy, school was overrated as it is and a mini-league quidditch game certainly didnât deserve a special outfit no matter how many times your friends detested to your statements. as soon as the game had ended, the raven-haired males eyes didnât search for you rather a tall brunette with pearly white teeth and dark maroon lipstick.
sirius of course had his troublesome past, you knew of his family, and his sexual-run arounds that went to hogwarts. it wasnât a shock to you, you had just denied yourself to be one of his easy people. but to your pure-promised heart, you didnât just become one of them you became the one. not to love, but simply to fuck.
you were just company when nobody else could be, and even though you swore not too; you let yourself because you fell for him, or maybe it was his mask of flirty gestures and lingering kisses.
you made your way to the gryffindor tower, the hallways dead silent to the point where you could hear the drop of a pin or the swish of someoneâs hair. the seventh years succeeding in performing a muffling charm that barred any supervisor from suspicion of a party.
as soon as the portrait whole swung at your mumble of the password you were met with immense clamour and uproar from all the celebrating students. the potent smell of marijuana and fire whisky hitting your nose, immediately scowling at the first whiff of the aroma.
couples had been scattered and sprawled across the deep-vermillion coloured couches. all noise drowned out by the deafening amount of rock music, picked by sirius no doubt.
you knew in the nook and crannies of your mind you shouldâve scrabbled this together, it should of been suspected, or rather even bound to occur. but nobody should ever expect to see their boyfriend drunkenly making out with another woman, ever.
you didnât want to cry, or look weak, i mean you felt ashamed. weâre you not good enough? weâre you had to him? did you not check up on him enough? but maybe it wasnât on youâ maybe it was on him.
maybe he was the one who fucked upâ he didnât treat you good enough. he didnât spend enough time with you. all in that moment you feltâ was the burning bitch of an emotion, rage. pure and simple rage.
you felt the thump and click in your feet as you belligerently marched over to the kissing bunch, his arms taking a harsh grip at her waist and the aroma of alcohol abundantly clear as you got closer.
you jabbed a few times on his shoulder, the rustled leather familiar underneath the pad of your pointer finger. the boy pulled away with a drunken-grimace, prepared to shout at anyone who had interrupted him until he saw it; your face filled with abundant anger.
oh shitâ you had caught him right in the act.
ây/n, listenââ the boy started before your eyebrows had creased in immense frustration and anger of his foolish excuses. choosing to ultimately speak first and think later.
âno, you listen sirius! youâve treated me like absolute shit, like iâm the last fucking option in your palmâ like iâm not your girlfriend that you have confided in, and kissed, and fucking slept with! i really donât know who you think you are, but you canât walk around acting like you own the place when you canât get one damn thought straight. so you canât come to me as a last option anymore, you can go stick your player bullshit right your own damn arse!â your voice was heaving in such anger of him, finally opting to pick yourselfâ not to be a second choice, not anymore.
after your monologue built over months and months of culpability for feeling like you couldnât never be enough for him, and irritability that he had never truly cared was full forced in one speech cutting him off for good.
you quickly spun around the mahogany floor, striding directly out of the red and gold common room; you heard the quick pad of footsteps behind you whilst walking in the hallway, swivelling around again seeing your befuddled and tipsy ex-boyfriend try and catch up with your exasperated steps.
a deep shade of maroon smudged down the curvature of his lips and the planes of his olive-toned chin, yeah, fuck you sirius.
ânow what the absolute fuck do you want now?â you whisper-shouted in the midst of the hallway, trying not to alert the attention of filch or professor mcgonagall.
âi love you, y/n, pleaseââ the boy attempted to plead in the midst of his sentence and deeply failing whilst slurring his words, the alcohol abstinently pining through his nervous system showcasing his bleary vision through his viewpoint; venturing for your forgiveness, but your decision had been made the moment he was caught locking lips with the gryffindor beater.
âtell me that when youâre sober.â
taglist: @famdomhideout @hufflepogue @dear-luna @luvvninaz @miraclesoflove @black-like-my-soul @fific7 @wisedreamcatcher @kittykylax @ronbrokemyheart @aspiringsloth20 @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa @msmb @fangouria @five-cups-of-coffee @dracofknmalfoy @emmaev @serenitywilderness
#sirius black x you#sirius black x daughter!reader#sirius black x gryffindor!reader#sirius black x ravenclaw!reader#sirius black x slytherin reader#sirius black x remus lupin#sirius black x oc#sirius black x marlene mckinnon#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black fluff#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fic#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter smut#harry potter
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Timing (5)
main pairings: albedo x reader sucrose x reader
⥠mentions: diluc, venti, aether, paimon warning(s): usage of alcohol bc we're at angel's share
you can find timing's masterlist here!
notes: this has been long overdue! here you go bWAAH
Diluc watches a bard glide into his tavern like he owns the place. The Ragnvindr raises a brow, placing a wine glass back into a cupboard.
"Venti," he says, picking up another glass, polishing it. "Are you here to pay back your tabs?"
"Ah, Master Diluc!" The boy in green laughs nervously, "Oh, what a pleasant surprise, but of course I wouldn't dream to have your bills jeopardized."
The door of the tavern chimes, signaling another customer is there. Aether places his hands on his knees, heaving for breath and Paimon floats in, hitting Aether's head lightly, "I GOT YOU NOW."
Venti whistles and casually sides himself next to the traveler and wraps an arm around him, "Aether here, will be delighted to pay for my tab."
Paimon gasps and takes the hat off Venti's head. "No! We didn't come here to do that!" She flips to Aether, helping him up, "Tell him why we're here, Aether!"
The tavern owner wipes his hand on a cloth and leans forward on the counter, curious. The glass windows and colourful bottles filter the sunlight from behind the man. Colours reflect to Diluc, making him look like some sort of rainbow Angel.
Aether inhales, now standing up normally. "Lately, I've been getting a lot of commissions to gather Wolfhook for remedies, and whenever I ask what it's for they always say how it's like they..." He trails off, not knowing the best way to put it.
Dliuc clears his throat, watching Venti attempt to steal another bottle of wine. He quickly grabs the bottle from Venti's hand, who sulks sitting at the very right side of the counter.
"Like they think they have thing obnoxious sound in their head," Diluc finishes for Aether. "And when they try to remember what, it hurts them more."
Aether's head perks up, "Master Diluc, do you have these too?"
Diluc looks up, thinking. "...Yes, but it has mostly been the drunkard Knights that have been telling me these stories whilst I work here."
He breathes in sharply, "Those no use for good Knights come here more often since two years ago, which coincidentally is the disappearance of someone from the Investigation Team. I always assumed it was because that person had a huge impact on them, but when I questioned them, they don't even know the name of the missing person."
Paimon makes a face, "You sure have been doing a lot of research."
"If even the Knights are having troubles with only themselves, how would Mondstadt be protected?"
"Right! So," Venti quips. "Getting to the point. I also have been trouble remembering these... things, but one thing's for certain! The things I can't remember always leads me to this lovely tavern. Truly, the answer is under these curtains."
Paimon furrows her brows, scanning around the tavern for curtains. "There are no curtains here."
"Eheh~ It's a metaphor for, what's hiding in store!"
Diluc adjusts his gloves. "I have to admit, I do understand what you mean with the remembering and forgetting," he comments. "But what is it that you propose I do? What does this tavern have to do with anything?"
"Has there been any other... strange things going on?" Paimon floats, tilted forward. "Aether would als-"
The fae turns to Aether, only now realizing he disappeared from her side. "Aether?" She hovers over the boy's shoulder when finding him.
He stands in front of the door, observing the scratches- some new and some old. Venti hops off the stool he sits on and saunters to his friends, signaling Diluc to follow.
Aether's fingers trace the marks on the door and turns to the owner of the tavern. "Master Diluc, can I ask how long had Angel's Share been standing? When was it first built?"
Diluc ponders, scratching his chin a bit, then answering, "A few hundred years, give or take. It's been preserved well."
Aether's hand lifts from the door. "Then how is this old marking foreshadowing us meeting here?" His golden eyes scan over the names written on the door. Deep engravings, yet faded out edges let him figure it's been hundreds of years.
He looks over the words, or names on the door. "Diluc, Aether, Paimon, Venti, Albedo, Sucrose. By the time the first four meet, the other two will arrive because they're smart like that. Please, help me. There are barely any resources here. Things are yet to be mined or built."
Venti collapses again, clutching his head. He winces, looking up with one eye and waving his worried peers. "It's alright I just-" he takes a moment to pause. He grins, "I think I know who the mystery person in my memory is."
"It's just..." He tries to stand, but his knees fail him. "Remembering them changes many things."
Diluc looks to Aether, wondering if he had answers, but the blonde only shook his head, supporting Venti with his shoulder and placing him on a chair.
Paimon is still distracted by the carvings on the door. She floats closer. Her eyes are observing the door very closely. "It says Albedo and Sucrose a-"
The door flings Paimon to the cupboard Diluc puts the mugs and glass in. "gAH?!"
Albedo and Sucrose stand in front of the opened door. They both seem to be searching something and their eyes land on Diluc. Sucrose sighs in relief and pushes her glasses up to the bridge of her nose.
"Master Diluc," She says meekly, taking a thick book out of the bag she carries.
"Sucrose and I require your assistance in one of our projects." Albedo finishes for the girl before nodding to the others beside the Ragnvindr, acknowledging their presence. "I hope you can aid us."
...
Your hands are clasped in front of yourself, trying to contain your emotions. After meeting a Ragnvindr, you thought you were getting somewhere. As someone who knows the arts of science, you thought all you needed was to see a familiar presence in Mondstadt, so you searched the nobles, knowing how long they've spent in Mond.
You did not in fact gather inspiration, nor answers to getting back home, but you did befriend a wealthy aristocrat who, despite not believing your time-travel story, decided to help fund your research to going back to your time after helping him out with the latest project called "Angel's Share."
You sighed, taking a bite out of an apple while watching a few of Angel's Share's first customers. Looking around, Mondstadt still had that sort of look from the future, but everything is new and shiny. Everything is newly built.
You've been here for two years, and from those two years you watched Mondstadt quickly finish the last few touches to the city you know. It was a strange experience to say the least.
When you had first known you time traveled, you hadn't realized it until you waltzed into Favonius Headquarters and a guard seized you. You kicked and punched the guard, claiming you were one of the members of the Investigation Team but they looked at you like you were crazy. You stopped hitting them, and thought back to how the guard does not look like anyone you knew.
You asked him what year it was and the guard made a face. He grabbed your wrist harshly and was about to throw you down until a boy in green threw an apple at his head.
The green boy clutched his hat and sent a push of wind towards the guard, making him unconscious.
"Venti?"
The boy froze, and slowly turned towards you. "Goodness gracious! Haha, that is right! I must be getting popular these days for you to recognize my face." He exclaimed with a bow and a tip of his hat.
You tilted your head. You cautiously walked close to inspect his face. "But we just had wine the other day? What're you..."
Your eyes snapped to your hands then back to his teal eyes. "Are you really Venti?"
The boy lifted his cape from right to left, picking out details. "I'm sure I am he, for what else could my name be?"
"Ah.. right." You said partially scared. "Venti, do you know who I am?"
Venti placed a finger in the air, "You know... I have vision from Barbatos himself. It allows me to know if the winds of a person are new and old, but yours..." He circled you, thinking. "You have the presence of my own wind though I've never met you. How strange."
"Well I mean- we just drank together yesterday so-"
Shouts and yells came from inside the Favonius Headquarters. Venti's eyes widened, reaching for you and ran to Mondstadt's central market and hid behind a box of crates. He shushed you, pointing to the guards asking for someone wearing green.
"Darn it! Looks like I'm a wanted fugitive again."
"Again?"
Venti frowned, looking at you, "Did I say 'again?' You make me say strange things. Well then!" He brushed the feeling off and flipped his cape inside out so he wore white instead of green. "The guards said a boy with a green cloak, but now I have a white cloak!"
"Wow, they'll never catch you now."
Venti grinned, "So... Even if you have Mondstadt's winds lingering on your clothes, I can't say I've seen you around- I should know, because this is where I'm bound."
Your lips parted a bit, still not catching on. "But Venti, we just went for drinks yesterday before I went back to camping in Dragonspine."
Venti squinted his eyes, "EHH??"
"Unless..." You muttered, thinking of the events that happened. You look at the statue of Barbatos far in the distance, then look at the boy in front of you.
"Barbatos," you said loud enough for only the two of you to hear.
To most people, it would seem nothing out of the ordinary happened, but you weren't most people. You worked with a few of the Captains of The Knights of Favonius. It is required to have a perceptive eye, (When you didn't catch on things as fast, Albedo would simply guide you to the right direction with a little mumble. Maybe he'd pull a few jabs, but it's all in good fun.) and when you whispered the archon's name, you note the way Venti makes a face. His eyes dart and he turned more giggly. He whistled like he hadn't heard what you just said.
You put two and two together and you realized that you've been friends with the Anemo Archon.
You slap a hand on your face. Shock runs up your body- not because Venti was the Anemo Archon, but because you were too slow on figuring it out.
"Archons- Venti? You're him?" You knit your brows pointing at the statue of him far away.
"Ehe~ you caught me," he held his hands up in surrender. "But how did you ever know?"
You thought back, excited. "Venti, you don't know this, but future you talked to me a day ago about my time travel thing, and it worked."
...
But of course, that was two years ago. You hadn't been exited about your discovery of time travel since then.
(part 6)
notes: crying sm venti's so hard to write like how would he react to stuff if he does or doesnt know like do i say he does know or doest ugh time travelling is so confusing especially if you're friends with the anemo archon
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#albedo x reader#albedo kreideprinz#sucrose#sucrose genshin impact#sucrose x reader#diluc#venti#aether
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santa&prada
part of my opposites attract! series.Â
ksj / knj / myg / jhs / kth / jjk
pairing: rich!jimin x reader
summary: Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.
wordcount: 5k
genre:Â smut - angst(? - fluff (? idk u tell me
rated: mÂ
warnings: a christmas fic in late november, cursing, a huge misunderstanding lmao, i call jimin âpark jiminâ too many times bc i felt like it, car sex, oral (f recieving), some good ole spanking, (kinda) rough and unprotected sex, a lil of dirty talk, spit kink. thats about it. just an excuse to write jimin fucking you in a car. jimin is not as bad as oc thinks srsly.
The first time you meet Park Jimin is through mutual friends. On a firday night on December, with white, red and green lights decorating the streets of New York, filled with the typical hustle of the masses doing last minute Christmas shopping, the freezing weather impacting your body temperature, cursing yourself for choosing tights, a skirt and heeled boots that are too pretty but too uncomfortable to wear.
You had never considered yourself a particular enthusiast of Christmas festivities. You guess discovering Santa Claus was, actually, your parents before the rest of the kids in your class was one of the many reasons that made you grow up too soon and therefore, not allowing you to fully enjoy the month of December. Or maybe it had nothing to do with Santa, and more to do with your parents deciding to get a divorce a day before Christmas Eve. A traumatic event for seven year old you, but completely forgotten and overcome by twenty-four year old present you.
Growing up each Christmas suffering the consecuences of a shared custody would have probably had a disastrous effect on anybody else, but not you. Although the separation was a tough reality to accept at first, fortunately your parents were always capable of raising you in an environment full of love and affection, just like any other kid. And you prided yourself on having moved on from those circumstances a long time ago (even if your therapist disagreed and blamed many of your behaviors on it. Whatever.)
To put it simply, December was just not the month for you. It was just another month, like the remaining eleven of the year, except Mariah Carey's voice was heard every five minutes everywhere you'd go and people gave each other presents as if it was only during that time of the year when they remembered their loved ones.Â
The only thing you could thank Christmas for were the well deserved two weeks of holidays our work allowed until the new year's arrival. Fifteen days of rest, peace and baking those gingerbread cookies that Seokjin died for and that you sincerely denoted as nauseating.
You truly had no idea what exactly you did wrong that night. You don't know if it was something you said, or something you did, but what you did know was that Park Jimin pursued a silent and personal vendetta against you that continued nowadays.
"Here are your disgusting cookies, you filthy animal." it might have been that very first sentence you said when you entered the bar and reunited with your friends that didn't cause a good impression. "Shit, it's cold as fuck. My nipples are harder than my life." or maybe it was your selection of words while you waved every familiar face hello until you stopped to look at the only (pretty. too pretty, as well) one you had never seen before.
"_____, it's Chrismtas! Santa Clause will only bring you a lump of coal if you keep cursing like that!" Lisa laughed while she kissed your cheek and made space for you to sit next to her. "Oh, by the way, this is Jimin. A friend of Namjoon. He's a newbie!"
Park Jimin was stunning, you had no trouble admitting that. You weren't blind, you weren't stupid, and you could go as far as theorize that his dark eyes, his light and always immaculate styled hair, his sharp jawline and those plump lips as red as cherries must have been sculpted by Satan himself.
Fuck, you were even sure you'd be on your knees in front of Park Jimin in an alternative universe begging for his dick inside your mouth. But in the universe where you and the real Park Jimin reside, he would never come near you unless somebody was aiming a gun into his skull.
You're not precisely sure what it was, but a brief exchange of glances and an evasive and sligh shake of hands with Park Jimin was enough to make you feel ashamed and withdrawn for the rest of the night.
If Jimin wasn't even able to drop a polite "Nice to meet you", he sure as hell wasn't able to pretend you even existed.
Even the small talk you had tried to engaged with him about his shiny pair of shoes went terribly wrong.
"Oh, are those Dolce and Gabbana?"
"Dolce and Gabbana are homphobic, racist and sexist, so no" the grimace on his face should've been enough to make you regret speaking to him in the first place , but the snarky voice of his made you want to run away and hide from him until next Christmas.
In reality, you swore you didn't care. Seriously. Other's opinions were never something that could easily bother you or keep you awake at night. You had always turned a deaf ear to the cruel children that made fun of you due to your parent's divorce, you had always ignored the amount of men that never considered you "ladylike" enough (what the fuck did that even mean, anyway? what exactly made a lady and what didn't?), and you had always disregarded any envous comment surrounding you.
So, fuck Park Jimin! You had said to yourself. He's just a well mannered rich boy. Somebody who didn't resemble you in any aspect. A stupid, pretentious, spoiled boy who's had everything he's ever wanted in the palm of his hand, unlike you. Who the fuck cares what Park Jimin thinks?Â
But apparently, you did.Â
You would have never placed such importance to whatever it was that roamed inside Jimin's head if his appearances in your group of friends hadn't been so recurrent.
Because each time you were forced to see Jimin's face, you were also forced to experience a strange knot of discomfort and humilliation growing in your stomach in his mere presence. It's not like Jimin did anything specific to make you feel that way. He might not even do it on purpose, or his intentions might not be entirely evil. Maybe he simply didn't realize how he always avoided being by your side like the plague, or how his body immediately tensed and he balled his hands into fists everytime you were less than two feet away from him, or how he would look at you from the corner of his eye everytime you decided you speak, almost as if he was waiting for you to shut up to finally let out the air he was containing inside his lungs in relief.
Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.
And with time, you couldn't help but attribute that disdain and hostility that Park Jimin always directed at you to the many undeniable differences that constituted each of you. Park Jimin, with his impeccable and always well ironed Prada shirts, his spotless trousers, jewelry that probably costed more than three of your annual salaries, and always emanating that Givenchy fragance that screamed "wealth!" every rare occasion you could experiment his presence next to you. Exactly two years after that first meeting with Park Jimin, you hadn't been able to avoid reciprocating that feeling of contempt towards him. Not when you were the only victim of his arrogance. Everybody loved Park Jimin, and Park Jimin loved everyone.Â
Except you.
Clinging to your glass of Don PĂ©rignon and finishing the rest of the liquid in one go, you try to snap out of your own thoughts, reminding yourself to return to the conversation you're currently having with Taehyung about a pretty waitress that he's met during one of his art exhibitions (or at least that's what you think you caught him say) and forcing yourself by all means to stop observing the friendly and kind smiles that Park Jimin was shooting to those present from across the room and that you will never be able to achieve.Â
"_____? Are you even listening to me, darling?" Taehyung's voice is what makes you finally look away from the dumb blond standing on the opposite side of the room, blinking a few times before clearing your throat.Â
"Sorry, Tae." letting out a sigh, you try to brush back and put in place the strand of hair that escaped the intricate hairdo you had tried and so miserably failed to do yourself to try to fit in and hopefully impress such environment of preppy and privilaged people (ahem, Park Jimin) Â falling on your forehead as best as you can. "Just been really stressed this week and I'm on another planet. You know how I feel about Christmas. I think I need a new flute of . Or five."
Taehyung sends you a look full of empathy and places one of his hands in your shoulder, squeezing lightly in a comforting way. "I'll get you another one. I'll be right back." You quickly interrupt him though, to prevent him from standing up before you.
"No, really. I'll go. I need some fresh air anyways, if you don't mind." And of course Taehyung doesn't mind, so you get on your feet as graceously as your tipsy state allowed you to (who told you it was a good idea to drink three glasses in less than thirty minutes of the extremely expensive champagne Taehyung had brought to the Christmas party he had organized and why did it convince you it would appease your anxiey?) and make your way towards the table where the rest of the bottles are. A table dangerously close to the conversation Jimin and that friend of Lisa (whose name you don't remember) were having.
Both are with their backs turned and, honestly, you take a silent moment to thank God or whatever is up there because the last thing you need right now is yet another awkward interaction with Jimin, so you try as best as you can to refill your glass of champagne to get out of there as soon as possible, praying to make your exit going unnoticed.
But no. Because the stars and the universe loved to align to make you suffer! They love to play with your karma and they love making you damn that one day you didn't help that lady cross the street. They love making you regret buying those plastic straws. They love making you feel guilty for hacking your neighbour's Wifi when you run out of money to pay for yours. Because the moment you try to take a hold of the bottle in your hands, it slips out of your grasp, and you're watching in slow motion how the sparkling berverage ends up spilling all over the extremely expensive (or so you assume. Balenciaga maybe) suit pants Park Jimin decided to wear that night.
Everything is kind of blurry and you can't even hear anything. You can only watch as Park Jimin turns around, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, until his eyes find you, the bane of his existance and immediately recognizing the culprit of his now drenched piece of clothing. And you can watch as, once again, his gaze turns almost black and narrow lightly as to reprimend you for what you've caused. But of course he doesn't say a word. He has nothing to say. He doesn't even look surprised. No. Because obviously, Park Jimin knew that if there was somebody in this room willing to ruin his night, it would be you, and only you.
"Shit!" you're the first one to break the strained silence, but that only makes Jimin flinch. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm so fucking dumb! J-Jimin, I'm so sorry, let me just go grab a paper tow-"
"Don't." his voice cuts through you. Literally cuts through you. Because it's not often that Park Jimin decides to aim his words at you, but everytime he does it holds the same frigid tone. Like knives trying to painfully stab your being. "Just, don't."
In reality, you don't know a lot of things and you don't know what causes what happens next. You don't know if it's the specific time of the year, you don't know if it's your internal stress, or if it's Park Jimin, his voice, or the fact that he will never like you. But it's instant. They way something compresses your chest, and suddenly your eyes are not glaced by the alcohol but by something wet that threatens to flow. You would never admit to anyone they're tears.
So, shutting your mouth and swallowing the uncomfortable feeling of anguish in your throat, leaving your flute forgotten on the table and grabbing the bottle instead. Without saying a word, your feet start moving up the stairs of the ridiculously enourmous house Taehyung owns towards the first free and empty balcony you can find. Free of people and free of Park Jimin.
Closing the large window behind you, you allow yourself to close your eyes and take a deep breath; the icy temperature outside immediately welcoming you. Although the hairs on your arm stand up and you know you're probably going to catch a cold (because the dress you've chosen for the dinner is not at all appropiate for such winter climate), at least the tension in your body seems to disappear while oxygen keeps that ugly feeling in your heart at bay from continuing to choke you.
With shaky hands, you take a big gulp straight from the champagne bottle. Fuck Park Jimin. No man will ever have the power to make you feel what you're feeling right now. Â Fuck Park Jimin. And fuck his beautiful face and his ability to make you tremble and fear looking like an idiot. Fuck his fancy clothes and his perfect manicured hands and his marvelous but frigthening presence.Â
Knock knock.
The sound makes you jump back from the window, hand grasping your chest while you turn around, coming face to face with the man in question. Â Your first instinct is to ignore him. But that thought is already out of the way when it's him the one who struggles with the window lock before opening and taking a step towards you. You step back as he steps in, raising your head up high and puffing your chest. Because your second instinct is to tell Park Jimin to go fuck himself.
"_____, I would like to-"
"You would like to what?" Jimin looks taken aback at your harshness. Alcohol has always been a weapon of mass destruction in your system, provoking words to flow too easily and without filter out of your mouth, more than they already do when you're sober. Especially when it's mixed with the frustration you've been harboring inside of you for two years. That's why when the words start to come out, they won't stop. "To make me feel like shit one more time? To look at me with that fucking conceited face trying to make me feel like you're better than me? Or would you like to ignore me once again as you always do everytime we're in the same fucking room to make sure I know you hate my mere existance, even if it's just the two of us right now?"
The steam leaving your lips due to the accelerated beat of your heart blurs his face for an instant while he looks at you dumbfounded. The silence and his expression makes you scoff, an acidic smile adorning your face while you take another sip of your drink because even with such a stupid face, he still looks delectable with his white shirt and ruined pants. You turn around, removing a tear that you hadn't even realized had fallen during your speech and that, frankly, you were hoping he hadn't either. You would blame it on the cold, anyway.
This time, a gust of wind running through you from head to toe, making you forget of Park Jimin's presence looming behind you, reminding you it's still December and the fabric of your dress is doing nothing to conceal you from the cold.
But before you can do anything about it and blame yourself for being dumb and not taking your coat with you before deciding to step into balcony, Park Jimin surprises you once again, this time by placing his navy blue blazer over the naked skin of your arms.
Your back straightens when you feel his warm breath caressing the back of your neck, at the same time that a voice you have never heard Park Jimin use with you echoes in your ears.
"I really don't hate you, _____. I..."Â Jimin wets his lips. His body trembles, but it's not due to lacking his own coat, while his brain hurriedly searches for words eloquent and adequate enough to explain voice his thoughts. "I like you very much, _____."
Scoffing again while you shake your head, you push down with all your inner strenght the incipent fluttering of butterflies in your stomach that Jimin has managed to cause in just a matter of seconds. It's probably the longest sentence you've heard from him in two years, and you don't exactly understand why your body is reacting the way it is. But you're also not willing to give Park Jimin the satisfaction of knowing that. He doesn't deserve it anyway. So with all the courage you can muster, you turn around with your hands clenching.
And even though being at such short distance from Jimin is a bit overwhelming and unexpected for you, the irritation still making your blood bubble is enough to not let a man as handsome as him derail you from your current circumstances.
"Well, fuck you Park Jimin. You certainly have a funny fucking way to sh-" his hands cradling your jaw that pull you closer to him and his lips that silent you roughly, but with surprising care. Only for a moment. A moment in which your body betrays you and make you melt into hir warmth. But his voice, low and sinfully husky, murmurs against your lips.Â
"God, that mouth of yours..." he goes back to attacking your own lips, this time more firm than before, snatching a sigh from you. The sound has his tongue asking for permission into your mouth, and with your body betraying you once again, you part your lips to allow him in. It's him who whimpers this time, while one of his hand moving until it reaches the bottle in your hand and letting it drop carelessly onto the floor, ignoring the sound of glass shattering and the future scolding you'll get from Taehyung. Instead, he sneaks that same hand on your waist, pulling your body flush against his, fingers digging onto your skin. "It's been driving me crazy for two years. Two years, _____."
He mumbles between kisses and swipes his tongue against yours, while he stars walking the both of you until your back meets the nearest concrete wall.Â
"Two years of having to hear the incessant filthy words that leave your mouth..." his own stop their movements and you catch yourself before begging him to reattaching his lips to yours, enjoying instead the path of wet kisses and bruises his lips traile from your chin to the pulse of your neck "...and trying my best to hide the painful boners I get whenever you're nearby."Â
With your eyes shut, your hands are back in motion, ignoring the voice in your head reminding you he's still an asshole and finding their way between Jimin's soft golden strands of hair. He hums in appreciation, sending goosebumps all over your body. "So, s-so why not do anything about it sooner?" you say, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe properly.
You feel Jimin's body tensing before you and he ceases the movement of his lips against your neck. Breaking away, your heart stops, afraid you might have ruined the moment. But Jimin's in search of your eyes, eyebrows very lighlty raised, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place. You don't know for how long you stare at each other until Jimin comes out of the trance, eyes descending over your flushed cheeks, the very same color as your lips and the soft flesh of your neck until they reach your cleavage, the glimmering fabric encasing your breasts, taunting him the same way they had been doing all night long.
"You scare me so much..." and then, one of his hands repeats the same journey his eyes just did, until he touches your shoulder, right under his own blazer. "Everytime I look at you, all I can think of why the hell a girl as real as you like you would even glance my way." he slides the strap of your dress slowly tentatively, just enough for you to stop his advances if you chose so. You don't. "You're smart in ways I could never compare, so funny it makes me jealous, and so pretty it leaves me speechless. You're...You're everything I'm not."
His voice resonates in the atmosphere, and you would love to blame it on the cold again for how your body has reacted, but your body heat has increased so much since he started kissing you that it would be stupid not to admit that it's just the effect that Park Jimin has on you tonight. You're sure he would've had the same effect if it had happened before.
Your now uncovered breast doesn't even has to suffer the consequences of the icy wind, because one of Jimin's arms quickly comes around you to hold your body against his, lifting you ever so slighty until your erect nipple is at the same level as his mouth and his lips are enveloping it in their warmth. You gasp his name, and that encourages his teeth to tug softly before his tongue stars moving in circes.Â
"My God, you're so perfect." Your head spins while you hold onto his shoulders as tight as you can, the undeniable heat roaming all over your form, hips involuntarily rutting his incipent erection poking your abdomen. "Been thinking about this since that night we first met." Looking for relief, Jimin mirrors your movements without ceasing the administrations on your chest, as one of his hands lifts one of your thighs to wrap around his waist, closing the short gap remaining between the both of you.Â
"Ohmygod! F-fuck, Jimin," trying to form coherent phrases is almost impossible, not with Jimin finding a slow and tortuous rythm with his hips, his clothed cock rubbing against your core. Something shifts in the air, because Jimin stops abusing your nipple with a loud pop, and shuts you up by pressing his mouth onto yours in an urgent, dirty and desperate kiss. You could almost hear him swearing, while his hand keeps your jaw in place.
"S-stop talking like that, ______." his voice, inaudible, and his face now hiding in the crook of your neck, the thrusting of his hips speeding up, more and more frantic this time. The hand not holding your thigh against his hipbone reveals your other breast, hand covering it and giving it a light squeeze before tugging at your unattended nipple between his forefinger and his thumb while his tongue and teeth mark the skin on your neck.Â
"Hell, I've been dying to stuff your mouth with my cock to prevent you from such foul language," the soft whimpers leacving your mouth coax him into taking the hem of your dress and bunching the fabric until his fingers easily find the place in your body calling to him the most through the lace. Â It's immediate, how his fingers dampen at the first touch, surprising the both of you, and how your body jolts and an embarrassing sob escapes your throat. "How-how are you this wet? Holy hell, I could just slide right in..."
And as he says that, one of his fingers pull aside the fabric of your underwear and glide into you, so easy. You insides burning while he fingers you, another finger being added with his thumb rubbing circles on your nub. And fuck, you're not sure if you're just too horny and Park Jimin is a magician with his hands, or maybe it's the way he keeps mouthing at your chest and whispering how soaked you are, but you don't think you've ever been so close to cumming in such a short period of time.
"W-whats stopping you?" you manage with a voice that doesn't even resembles yours, but before your hands can even make work of the zipper of his trousers, he pulls his finger out from your center, causing you to whine in protest.
Jimin licks his lips, eyebrows framing the dark expression that his eyes ooze. Although the desire in his eyes is more than evident, it is also evident the faint hesitation in them. Because Park Jimin doesn't do things this way. Park Jimin was raised in a world of correct manners and conservationism. A world that has taught him when and how to act. And as badly as he is dying to fuck you against the wall of Taehyung's ridiculously inmense house, he also wants to do the right thing.Â
"Let me take you on a date."Â
Park Jimin has been spoiled his whole life. Being born in a well-off family has always provided him of everything he had ever wanted and more. From the innecessary number of toys Santa Claus left under his Christmas tree every year since he was a baby, to his fisrt extravagant sports car at the age of eighteen. Park Jimin has never been a greedy or needy man. How could he, when he's had everything he's ever wished in the palm of his hands. He has never missed anything in his entire life. Hasn't missed a roof over his head, warm food on his plate or brand new designers clothes each week.Â
It has taken him two years to control himself. He still remembers that night he first met you, just like he remembers every single time you both had coincided in the same place at the same time. He remembered your scent, had memorized your figure over your pieces of clothing and had tried as best as he could to keep a distance from you because he knew you would never give him the time of day. How could you? You probably despised everything he was because he was definitely nothing like you, and that thought intimidated the fuck out of him. He was a mess everytime you wear nearby. Never relied on his voice because he knew he would stutter if you ever spoke to him, could never trust his eyes because if he ever looked at you he was afraid he wouldn't be able to look away.Â
And everytime you spoke, shit, that voice of yours always cursing here and there left him wondering how would you sound in a different setting and if you would still be that badmouthed. More specifically, between his sheets. So he did everything he could to minimize your interactions as much as possible. He just never thought he would come across as such a jerk. It was never his intention to hurt you, and seeing you cry that night (although you denied you did, over and over again) seriously made him realize he wanted to make things right.Â
He was trying really, really hard to keep it in his pants, to be the same well composed and controled Park Jimin he had mastered himself to be.Â
But that damn dress.
After seeing that little black dress hugging your figure when you started taking off your coat at the restaurant, the brief flash of thigh tights that you accidentaly (or not so accidentally) had blessed him with by crossing a leg over the other, that exposed collarbone calling his name and those heeled sandals with straps wrapping around your ankles, reminding him of the snake tempting Eve, Park Jimin was sure he needed to dig into that apple more than anything he has ever needed before.
That's why he surprises you right after you both finish the second course meal by telling the waitress you won't be having desert, at which you look at him somewhat indignant. But the look he shoots you is enough to make you understand if somebody was going to have desert tonight, it would be him. In his Mercedes.Â
"I'm gonna-" you gasp, fingers tugging at the soft strands of his now ruined blond hair, his head between your thighs and your legs thrown over his shoulders. His hands have a grip of the meaty flesh of your ass, holding you firmly againt his mouth as it works wonders on your clit. You're sure it hasn't even been ten minutes since Jimin had opened your legs in the backseat of his car, not even bothering to take your underwear off, simply moving the fabric aside before diving in, and you already feel yourself on the edge of an orgasm.
"I know." voice vibrating right into your core, he slows down his administrations, tongue carefully and delicately lapping at your folds while he enjoys the feeling of your fingers loosening their grip and fondly brushing his hair back. You meet his eyes as he pushes a finger inside your core and your whole body twists in agony.Â
"N-no!"Â
Jimin stops immediately, lifting his head and focusing his concerned eyes on you. He's about to ask you if he's done anything wrong, but you're fast to roughly pull him up by his hair until his face is leveled with yours. You answer him by kissing him and he returns the kiss with the same eagerness, and now it's your hands that are looking for his cock, palming him through his pants.
"Your dick. Inside. Right Now." you punctuate each phrase with a kiss and he only stops kissing you to pout.
"But I wanted you to cum on my tongue." but still, he's putty in your hands when you undo the botton and the zipper. "Wouldn't you rather me fucking you in my bed, where we're more comfortable?" you notice the slight quivering of his voice when you slide his trousers and boxers down, just enough to pull him out.Â
"You can eat me and fuck me as many times as you want tonight, tomorrow and whenever you'd like, but right now..." none of you contain the moan in unision that leaves each of your mouths when just the head of his lenght comes in contact with your entrance. "I really can't wait anymore." brushing your lips over his, you lower your voice. "Wanna get on my hands and knees for you."
Park Jimin has tried to do things the right and appropiate way throughout all his life. He's been a professional from a very young age on how to be in charge of his emotions, his desires and his impulses. Always well mannered and well composed.Â
But it's in this moment that Jimin comes to the realization that the only thing that has ever made him lose his mind and self control, is you. Seeing you like this, ass up, grinding your drenched and still thong clad cunt all over his precum dripping lenght, he can't control the way his hand bunches the fabrick of that damn dress over your waist, then flies to your right cheek, a sharp sound of skin filling the air, tearing a gasp from your throat.
"God, I'm-I'm sorry. Couldn't help mys-"
"Do it again."
And he does, the palm of his hand now leaving a reddenning print on your flesh, making you jolt back involuntarily, aligning yourself to the head of his cock and like he had hoped, he slides right in. Not all the way, because Jimin is sure he would cream inside you too soon and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did. He wets his lips, clenching his jaw and dropping his palm one more time, hand more steady and purposeful.Â
"You like it rough?" voice hoarse and a hand beside your head holding himself, your back to his chest, twitching beneath him as he soothes the sting with his free one.Â
"I like you rough." turning your head slowly to peer at him from the corner of your eye, your hips moving on their own accord trying to take him deeper. Your head is suddenly pulled back harshly, Jimin's fingers tangling in your hair as his own hips close the remaining gap between your bodys in an abrupt thurst. You squeal, Jimin's cock finally filling you up to the hilt just like you wanted him to be, the pleasure making your arms wobble and finding it harder to mantain your balance.Â
Jimin's breath fawns over your ear, his tongue darting out to suck on your skin sending chills down your spine. "You're such a dream." he groans, torturously sliding out of your core that's gripping around his shaft for dear life. A whine of protest escapes your lips and he tightens the hold on your hair in response, diving right back in. You fall forward, your arms' strenght betraying you as his thrusts find a new rhythm. With your eyes closed shut, you try to muffle the sound of your voice with the back of your hand as Jimin's lips place soft kisses to your exposed shoulder.
"Don't be quiet." he stands straight, the pull on your hair arching your back in such a enticing way it was Jimin look away for a second, cock buried inside of you and his hips faltering. "Been dying to have you like this for so long."
Another clap of his hand against your right cheek, and a particular stroke of his dick that has you mewling as your climax approached again. "S-so good, Jimin. Oh my god."
"You're gonna cum for me?" his fingertips leave bruises on your skin and the windows of his Mercedes are foggy, just like your mind. You can't concentrate on anything that's not Jimin's cock sliding in and out and how much you wished this had happened way sooner. "Gonna cum for me like a good slut?"
Park Jimin always takes his time. Always does things nice and slow to assure the best outcome possible.Â
But he can't contain the acceleration of his hips against yours as your walls clench impossibly tight around his cock, your orgasm finally taking over . Can't contain himself from falling forward again, hand twisting your head in his direction and his mouth searching for yours in a fiery and messy kiss. And he most definitely can't barely contain himself from cumming when your you ask him to spit in your mouth.Â
"You're gonna kill me." he breathes, removing himself off you and quickly maneuvering you on your back, his dick finding its way back inside you. Picking up right where he left off, skin slapping against skin in an obscene melody, he collects a considerate amount of saliva in his mouth before dropping it into your welcoming tongue, watching you swallow with a smile he hopes he'll be the only one to see in the future.Â
And that's what has the last bit of his self restraint slipping from his fingers. He somehow manages to rip the top of your dress down, fabric tearing until your tits are free and his mouth is attacking your nipples, white strings of his release panting your walls, some of it them oozing out that he fucks back right into you.Â
It's between ragged breaths, kisses and tender carresses that Jimin promises you more dates in the future and new dresses that he can't promise not to savage apart again.
#jimin#park jimin#jimin smut#park jimin smut#bts smut#bts#pjm#pjm smut#bad bunny is retiring like who the fuck does he think he is to decide when he gets to retire???#nah bb WE decide when you retire
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college bf!bin
a/n the duality of this man??? iâm deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!
word count: 5k
genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________
ugh yo
bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time
major: exercise science
and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, heâs been on the swim team since first year college
swam varsity starting his second year
besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career
alright so bin loves making friends
heâs so playful and talkative once you really get to know him
but his aura?? tbh very intimidating
like he has an rbf and just like heâs so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him
very well known in the university
literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year
a little embarrassed about it
not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him
myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, donât you think?
rocky: we geeeeet it youâre a star athlete
blah blah blah you know the vibes, theyâre endearing
so how do you meet bin?
basically youâre a friend of a friendâyouâre eunbiâs (sinb) friend
youâve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him
your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place
but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am
a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate
you were running a bit late during the first class meetingâyou woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartmentâyou made it to class with 2 minutes to spare
most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin
oh would you look at that
you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didnât know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face
he grinned at you when you sat down
âhey y/nâ
you were a bit taken back, âyou know my name?â
he laughed a little, âyeah of course, youâre one of eunbiâs really good friends, why wouldnât I know your name?â
before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation
one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on
you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics
no offense to stats lovers
every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class
you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically
so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam
you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression
you were both fucked
after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit
you: so...do you know anything thatâs going to be on the exam?
bin: uh...no? y/n youâre literally right next to me, you know I donât do jack shit in this class
you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?
bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class
you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like youâre praying
âcan he help me too...? please?â
binâs eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?
bin: uh...yeah...sure, iâll text you to come over when weâre gonna study
you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug
âthank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. Iâll see you on friday bin!â
with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked
heâs surprisingly a shy boy okay!
he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it
until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute
bin texts you the next day
coincidentally, eunbi texts you too
bin: hey this is bin, if youâre free in an hour my roommateâs gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1
eunbi: why did bin ask for your number
you to bin: yes! send me your addy and iâll be there :)
you to eunbi: weâre in the same stats class lol and weâre gonna study for our exam next week
eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n
you: lol what do you mean by that?
eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!
ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin
but you know itâs bc theyâre that close, theyâre literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings
still, studying w him couldnât be that bad right?
spoiler alert, it went alright
you felt bad showing up to binâs apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived
you officially meet binâs roommate, eunwoo, and youâre floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?
cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommateâs perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(
eunwooâs a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him
you: idk what eunbiâs talking about, youâre actually not that bad at studying bin
bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me
eunwoo smirking: maybe itâs because youâre here y/n, bin usually doesnât focus this much when itâs just me trying to help him
you: ???
bin in his head: i canât trust anyone huhÂ
before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam
it was just you and bin this time
although youâd never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him
yeah heâs a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, heâs a cute friend and you really didnât want him to see you looking crusty
you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours
granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could
bc even though you two had a good handle on the material nowâthanks to eunwooâyou both still hated statistics
you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you
it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him
not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but itâs enough for you :)
he walks you back to your apartment after your study session
wow what a gentleman
bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)
mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault
anyways
on the day of your exam you were freaking out
you have test anxiety ah ha ha
you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class
youâre like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg youâre psyching yourself out hella
bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and heâs like woah are you okay
you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg
you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chestÂ
he was gonna mess with you and say like âbet im gonna get a higher grade than youâ but he smartly decides against it
instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. youâre going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material downâeven eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.
he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down
your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy
you: th...thanks bin...
bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay
he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam
bin: you sure youâre okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? letâs get food after your next class.
you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing
yes you and bin got lunch that day
your exam results were uploaded the next day
you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95
bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe
you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something
you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly youâre talking to eunwoo
eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin canât eat seafood, why donât you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)
you: o...h...o-okay yeah iâd love to watch, what time is it? :)
eunwoo: itâs saturday at 10 am
you: okay! iâll see you there bin
bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo
cha eunwooâbest wingmanâą
you basically beg eunbi to go with you to binâs swim meet
eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water
also eunbi: faster bin! donât you fucking dare lose!
bin places first this meet
are we shocked? no
okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didnât prep enough bc youâre on the cusp of drooling when youâre watching him from the bleachers
and letâs face it, youâre not subtle and eunbi knows everything so sheâs literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you
eunbi: y/n, youâre really sure you like bin? heâs a good guy but câmon, i think you deserve better
you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...
eunbi: maybe itâs bc iâve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i donât understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, youâve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that youâre simping over him
you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of binâs friendsâthat you havenât met yet but know of
jinjin: oh so youâre the y/n that binâs been talking about *wink wonk*
baby youâre blushing
even more so when bin comes up to your group
mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders
heâs so hot ???
youâre all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh
sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyungâs win
eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/nâs free! bin you make sure they get home safe after yâalls dinner plans :)
hwang eunbiâbest wingwomanâą
dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didnât just meet them today
*you about to get your wallet*
bin, not even able to look at you: itâs okay y/n, i got you this time
cue the boys teasing
astro: kings of making fun of each other
rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) donât stay out too late
bin: sorry about them, theyâre a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...
the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet
he didnât know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you
you talk about small random things about yourselves, but itâs not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever yâall are talking about
you give each other a âfriendlyâ hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so
and while youâre hugging, bin just canât help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms
and on the other hand, youâre thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you donât want to pull away?
but ofc the hug has to end and youâre thanking him for walking you home and heâs like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows youâre safely in your apartment before leaving
bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwooâs place
eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)
bin: it wasnât a date, i just walked y/n home
eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date
bin: ...shut up
god why is the pining stage so long
alright everyone knows you and bin like each other
it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet
you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am
and then heâd walk you to your next class afterwards
you both still donât pay attention in stats, sorry
but that means more outside study sessions dates
you come watch his swim meets, whether astroâs there or youâre just watching by yourself
and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends
but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other
even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual
you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over
eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, theyâre both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? weâre sick of this.
alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwooâs friends from his major to ask you out while youâre studying with bin
letâs do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year
you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual
eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor
mingyu: u sure bin wonât clock me for trying to ask out y/n
eunwoo: probably not??
eunbi: just do it please
mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table
âhey y/n...i was wondering if youâd like to get dinner with me...as a date?â
you: o_o huh?
mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...youâre not dating anyone, right?
you glance at bin to find that heâs already looking at you with an expression that you donât really know how to read
you: um...well no Iâm not-
bin: actually, weâre dating so y/n canât go out with you mingyu, sorry.
mingyuâs not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves
youâre confused like literally what is going onâand then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him
bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out
you: I wouldnât have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else
bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n Iâve liked you for a while now but uh...I donât know I guess I was scared to tell you because Iâm scared of rejection
you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin youâre so cute wtf
âbin, why would I reject you when Iâve literally been into you for the past four months?â
itâs safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that
eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together
myungjun: fucking finally
bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?
*eunwoo has left the chat*
alright but binâs charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%
bin is touchy yâall, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you
he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand
eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin youâre like my brother, but y/nâs one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you
ofc bin is still eunbiâs punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, heâs dramatic and acts like heâs hurt so heâs like whining to you
sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?
other times youâre like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??
eunbi: excuse me while i vomit
okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy
yes he looks all big and intimidating
but heâs softâespecially for you
your nicknames for each other are either âbubâ or âbabyâ
yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting heâs a goner and will defend you
bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean youâre not complaining hehe
heâs the big spoon, no questions asked
okay but being in binâs arms is like your favorite place in the world
his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and itâs so??? content, you feel at home with him
you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter
okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy
im soft
one week youâre staying over at binâs apartment and then the next week heâs staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that
if youâre one of my ladies with a ~vagĂne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours
doesnât really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that youâre his and heâs yours
you two lightly bicker like friends, but youâve never had a terrible fight before
you were really close to thoughâor...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick
one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if itâs someone close to him
he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets
he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally heâs been off bc of it
you try to ease talking him into telling you about how heâs really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject
one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and youâre just like
âhey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?â
and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, itâs getting really annoying
youâre taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?
your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that
âso me worrying about you and wondering how your recoveryâs going is annoying? thatâs what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. whatâs going on with you?â
bin: youâre being suffocating! itâs the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes Iâ
oh boy you got mad
you: I ask you because I know youâre not telling me things! I know youâre suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that Iâm here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because Iâm your partner! but how can I if you canât even let me in?? weâre fucking dating moon bin, weâre supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...?Â
binâs silent and heâs looking at the floor
you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because youâre frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if iâm suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I donât know.
thereâs a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain
bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and thatâs when he knows he fucked up
heâs never seen you cry beforeâbesides like from a sad movie or something
so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn
he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didnât he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing
bin: baby, Iâm sorry...I shouldnât have taken out my frustrations on you, youâre not suffocating me I promise...youâre right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how Iâm really feeling...Iâm sorry.
you donât say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out
he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesnât know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him
and he tells you that sometimes heâs thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and thatâs how heâs still going through with rehab
youâre his motivator and comfort but he doesnât want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself
and at this point, bin starts tearing up and youâre like stroking his hair to try and comfort him
bin: Iâm not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didnât tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise Iâll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.
ugh pain
anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter
eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach
you: omg eunbi stop
bin: itâs okay...I sorta deserved that
eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?
he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, donât worry. Iâm all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldnât
bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again
all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him
bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and donât hurt yourself again, youâll be the winner to me :)
this was actually when the first âi love youâ was said
after your little pep talk in the locker room, binâs just hugging you and holding you for comfort
and he just went out with it
âI love you y/nâ
you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that
obviously youâve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now
you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter
âI love you too binnie, now go get em bub.â
he smiles and kisses you and tells you that heâll see you after the meet is over
you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, youâre literally glowing
myungjun: please tell me you guys didnât fuck before his swim meet
speaking of fucking
okay letâs get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark
bin is so sexy yâall like i dont need to tell you that
heâs 100% a tease
you have a little muscle kink hehe
which bin very much uses to his advantage
if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day
will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or youâll just get right to it
heâs very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it
one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral
you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out
heâs an ass guy
...all of astro are ass guys, itâs just obvious with how much they slap each otherâs asses and poke each otherâs assholes
okay you know how heâs touchy right? i mentioned that earlier
he always wants you on his lap
even if thereâs a space available, nope your seat is his thighs
ofc when the situation allows, like youâre not gonna sit on his lap in class duh
most of the time in public like if youâre hanging out with the boys or something, itâs innocent
but if he wants to be a tease, heâll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock
subtle, he wonât straight up thrust into you
just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants
and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf
his majorâs exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, yâall will just end up fucking
likes to bite and mark
very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you
you can bite, but you canât bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you canât really leave any marks on him unless itâs the off season
foreplayâs cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you
as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook
(itâs when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)
also in the hook, he can choke you
if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink
okay little tangent, choking is so hot?
like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? thatâs so sexy
likes butt stuff oops
i donât make the rules, he just does
daddy kink, but no power play
will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals
seeing your face when you cum is a must
almost always: you cumming â bin cumming
nothing gets him off more than knowing that heâs making you feel good
after !! care !!
sweetest boy!!
will clean you up with a warm towel after sex
and if youâre one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you donât get a UTI
if yâall had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft
always ends sex with an i love you :â)
okay letâs get back to the soft stuff
special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates
sometimes when heâs practicing and itâs just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together
he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year
it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break
his parents and sister liked you immediatelyâwhich you were so scared about, but bin just knew
you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food
naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, youâre a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping
bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??
you: morning binnie :)
his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/nâs here helping us with christmas dinner
his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?
just kidding all jokes
but thatâs the moment when he knew
best boyfriend bin ugh
he becomes a legend in the school for swimming
but doesnât continue after college, heâs all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation
he goes to grad school, while youâre out working in business
bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step
you do talk about the future together, but obviously binâs still in school and youâre both fresh from undergrad so thereâs no rush yet to tie the knot
doesnât stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops
ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb
like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each otherâs places
but like your apartment is now both of your place and itâs like your home is finally complete
your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi
at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually
eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)
and thatâs how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu
happy birthday binnie moonbob â„
1-25-21
#im in love with bin ????#like one second i think eunwoo is my bias and then i see bin and suddenly im questioning my life?#happy birthday binnie moonbob!#it's the first astro birthday im celebrating as an aroha :')#i was literally in my nursing zoom class and i got the notif on vlive that bin went on#i never clicked a button so fast#moonbin#moon bin#bin#astro bin#astro moonbin#binnie moonbob#astro#astro au#astro headcanons#astro fluff#astro smut#astro scenarios#astro scenario#astro fic#moonbin au#moonbin fluff#moonbin smut#moonbin scenarios#moon bin au#moon bin fluff#moon bin smut#moon bin scenarios#bin au#bin fluff
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Hey! I read your Kise imagine recently and I adore it, it's rare to see someone write about manga!kise and I really loved it. Furthermore your writing is so so good to read đ„° I wanted to ask you Kise x reader prompt 1! I would really like to read about him in such a situation âș Thank you Iain advance đ
WAHHH TYSM ANON <33 IM SO HAPPY HEHE, and phew yall thought asshole kise was something but... have yall heard of TEIKO-era asshole kise??! NO?? dw, bc heâs debuting here // i wanted to really showcase his dual sides through more of dialogue (so we wonât really see whatâs in Kiseâs mind for this), so here it is hope you enjoy this anon!Â
Kise x Reader
Prompt: âWeâre not just friends and you fucking know it.â
Word Count: 2120
prompt list here
»»âââââăâŒăâââââ««
âWeâre not just friends and you fucking know it, Kise.â
âHuh?â he mocks with a condescending tone. âI didnât peg you as someone whoâd pull shit out of their ass like my last âex-girlfriend.â Just because I let you hang around me doesnât mean you can parade around campus with an inflated ego.â
Your hands shake furiously at your sides, trying not to punch the basketball player square in the face.
âMe? With an ego? Look whoâs damn talking!â you seethe. âIâm tired of the fact that we keep playing this stupid flirting game for months, only for it to go absolutely nowhere!â
âHave you ever stopped to use your brain and think about how flirting inherently is done in good casual fun?â Kise explains slowly, implying that you were the immature one in the situation. âMeanwhile, you have the audacity to get mad at me when youâre the one whoâs using me for your own selfish gain!â Kise sends a heated glare but his eyes were tinged with betrayal.
âWhat the hell are you even talking about? Are you out of your mind?â
âFuck this,â he scoffs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. âIâm leaving, Iâm not dealing with this shit anymore. If you want attention, Iâm not gonna entertain you anymore.â
âNo, you will not leave!â you yell, trying to stop Kise in his tracks. He merely ignores you as he holds up a hand to do a wave with his back to you. âYouâre going to explain what the hell you were talking about!â
You sprinted and held onto his sleeve to tug him back to face you, only to be met by the most bone-chilling gaze from him. You wouldâve absolutely cowered in his presence if it wasnât for the fact that you were irrationally angry from the false accusations Kise threw at you prior. You can definitely tell that Kise was biting his inner cheek to keep himself reasonably calm.
âRyĆta,â you say.
âDonât call me by my first name anymore,â he says flatly.
âWhere did you get the idea that I was using you?â
âHah! Why? Does it matter? Are you gonna go to them and try to threaten them after? Itâs so clear from the way youâre talking right now that you only see me as a prize to show off.â You inhale a huge breath to stop yourself from saying something youâll regret.
âI never saw you as some object, RyĆta,â you mildly scoff. âLet me make myself clear. All I wanted was a clear answer from you every time I asked you if you wanted something serious, but every single damn time, you changed the subject or never answered the question!â
âItâs all done in good fun. Does it really need to be serious?â
âBut I want something serious with you!â
Kise merely turns away in silence, but you can see his body slightly tremble.
â... RyĆta?â
âDonât lie to me like thatâŠâ he says, slightly sucking a breath. â... Look, if you really wanna use me to boost your popularity, just⊠just come clean, okay? Iâll go along with it if you tell me now. After all, weâve been⊠good friends.â
âLie? Why would I lie? I never thought once of using you or having any motives other than to get to know you personally as a friend, RyĆta,â you say, looking down on the grip you had on his sleeve still.
âWhat reason is there to know someone like this other than to activate a ticking time bomb while playing a game to pass that time? Isnât that how itâs always been? Isnât that what we are right now?â
Your senses tell you that something deeper beyond this surface argument has been troubling him. You slowly let go of his sleeve, before turning away with a sigh, leaving Kise absolutely confused.
âI think we both need to cool our heads,â you sigh. âWeâve both said too much, and⊠just⊠forget what I said, okay? And Iâll forget about what you told me.â Kiseâs eyes widen at your statement.
â(y/n)-cchiâŠ?â
âWe can still do light-hearted banter like we always do the next time we see each other, okay Kise?â Your fists on your sides tremble before you hold up your head to give him a cheerful smile thatâs eerily all too familiar to his own. You turn to walk away, but his heart squeezes painfully at the sight of your back to him like this. Youâre so far from him. So far.
âHold it, nowâŠâ he says, slightly sprinting to catch up to you. He grabs your hand, still balled tightly by your side. âYouâre cruel, you know that? Demanding me not to leave but then leaving the conversation on your own accord? Youâre a hypocrite.â He spins you around to see your eyes barely struggling to hold back fresh tears. Little did he know that your countenance was a mirror to his own.
â... Our heads arenât in the right place, Kise. You should probably let go.â
âI probably should, huhâŠâ he says, but still giving no sign that he was actually going through with it.
âKnowing you, youâd really hold my fist until someone has to actually separate you from me.â
âAnd knowing you, youâd probably punch me before anyone else had the chance to do so.â
âYou know me so well, hm?â you muse, a tiny curl of your lip a different world than the one you gave moments before.
â... No,â he says with a slight frown. âI donât think I know you well enough.â
âI donât know you enough either, Kise.â
Silence falls between the two of you, frail as thin ice, before you eventually break it.
â... Youâre right, this whole friendship we have right now⊠itâs a time bomb. Itâs bound to fail and fall apart.â
âW-Wait,â Kise slightly says in shock. âThat was⊠I didnât mean it likeââ
âNo healthy relationship of any kind would last if we keep dancing around each other like this. I wanna be honest with you for once⊠I⊠donât wanna do this banter anymore. I donât wanna do these flirting games. Iâm kinda tired of it. Especially when you always keep me at a distance.â
âPfft, (y/n)-cchi,â he snorts loudly, flashing his sunny smile. âIâm practically so close to you holding your hand!â
âYou know exactly what I mean,â you sigh, and you avert your gaze away. âYou feel so far. I just⊠you feel so out of reach even when Iâm in the same room as you⊠even as of now. I just want to know where weâll end up.â
You firmly shake his grip off you, watching his hand falling back to his side as he does nothing but stare at you. You donât know if heâs angry, offended, or shocked, but whatever his expression was, you couldnât tell, not when you still stared at the concrete to the side rather than at him.
âOf course I wanna be friends with you,â you continue. âBut can you blame me for believing that thereâs something more between us when we do romantic gestures and flirting for months on end? If weâre just going to be friends, thatâs fine, but Iâd prefer if youâd also stop addressing me with -cchi, just to draw a clear boundary between us.â You finally look up to see Kise, but to your own shock, he looks quite bitter.
âYou say that youâre confused about what we are, but then you go prattle to everyone else that youâre my significant other when we havenât even talked a single thing about being a serious thing. Youâre so fucking confusing.â
âI⊠did no such thing?â Your eyes, still puffy from the tear ducts, shine in genuine bewilderment.
âYou⊠didnât?â
âAre you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?â
âI⊠um⊠ohâŠâ All he could do was to stand there completely stupefied, mouth gaping as multiple realizations suddenly hit him like bricks. He rubs his neck as he shamefully looks away.
âSo tell me,â you slowly say, giving him a more bone-chilling gaze than the one he gave you. âWhat exactly have you been hearing in the hallways?â You both stand there in silence again as Kise struggles to think of a way to explain it without sounding completely dumb.
âOkay, look⊠Iâm sorry⊠I shouldnât have listened to the rumors so easily, especially since I despise them too, but⊠they were about you, and I just couldnât help myselfâŠâ he mumbles. âI donât know, I⊠the thought of you getting close to me to use me really, really hurts.â
âAnd you thought just cutting me off on the spot was the most reasonable decision you can think of?â
âH-HeyâŠ! Donât put it like that! I thought I knew you well, but when I heard what people gossiped, my mind just went somewhere, and I thought maybe I misread you at some point. If you really did have ulterior motives, cutting you off wouldnât be as easy as that other girl. Because I⊠w-wait! Where are you going?!â
âHome, Kise,â you flatly say. âItâs after school after all.â
âAt least hear what I have to say!â He tries to catch up with you, but you only speed walk to outpace him. âLet me explain myself!â
âHypocrite~â you say, using Kiseâs mocking voice. âI donât recall you letting me explain myself in the beginning.â
â(y/n)-cchi, Iâm sorry! Iâll pay for all the outings weâll do this week! And um⊠Iâll always talk to you if somethingâs bothering meâdonât ignore me!â
âDidnât I tell you not to use -cchi?â you sigh, stopping abruptly, causing Kise to accidentally bump against you. âIâll forgive you, but weâre still only friends. I guess Iâll apologize for assuming things on my end, too.â Kise drops his head on your shoulder from behind, and you only roll your eyes in amusement at the familiar contact. âOh dear, Kise. I didnât think you were the type to be so clingy after a fight.â
âOkay, Iâll âfess up,â he says, voice muffled by your uniform blazer. âEven though weâve always gotten along so well, thereâs always been a part of me whoâs been on the lookout for any possible signs that you only saw me for my reputation. While I enjoyed having you around, I had always been ready to cut you off if I saw anything suspicious, but⊠lately the thought of letting you go ached so much⊠and then I heard what the other students were talking about⊠how you were acting the entire time⊠how you somehow screwed over other people before⊠couldnât really think properly after that.â
âBoo hoo,â you huff. âDo you want a kiss to make you feel better?â
â... I actually do.â
âI think our heads havenât completely cooled down. Iâm going ahead.â You were about to walk away, even though you very much enjoyed his head on your shoulder, but his arms wrap around you to stop moving any further from his side.
âYou said that you wrongly assumed what we wereâŠâ he whispers. âBut youâre actually right. Weâve been more than friends for a while without me really acknowledging it,â he chuckles at your groan, âI guess you really do know me well⊠Iâm really attached to you⊠but itâs not fair that youâre so collected even when Iâm hugging you like this.â
âKise, youâre an idiot, do you know that?â you snort. âHow are you hugging me but not noticing how fast my heart is beating?â
âH-Hey! Can you call me by my first name again? I said it without really thinking, okay? It hurts me every time you do that.â He gives the most comical pout, but you only punch the top of his head on your shoulder before walking ahead.
âIâm still mad at you. Iâm going home.â
â(y/n)-cchi, w-wait! Let me walk you home, then!â
âDonât call me that either. Iâm still mad at you.â
âBut arenât we dating now? I can call you that if weâre a thing.â
âBut Iâm still mad. You still said all those horrible things, and that stung. You think youâre the only one hurting right now?â
âIâm really, really sorry! Iâll make it up to you, and I wonât say anything like that again, andâŠâ
âYouâre not being really convincing.â
âI know I was being immature and the one with the inflated ego, and I said things that arenât remotely trueââ
You sigh before you turn back to a panicking Kise behind you.
âThen you better make it up to me by cuddling me and telling me some sweet nothings, because I can really use that right now, RyĆta.â
#knb x reader#knb#knb fic#knb fics#knb scenarios#kise x reader#kise ryota#kise ryota x reader#kise ryouta#teiko middle school#teiko#knb teiko#manga kise
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â hometown glory.
prompt : you were incredibly nervous to return home, especially since you knew that heâd returned home too. loosely inspired by this.
genre : angst to fluff
warnings : i mean at this point i can put swearing as a warning every time cause theyâre apart of my everyday vocabulary lmao.
music suggestion : hometown glory - adele, happiest year - jaymes young, from the dining table - harry styles.
authorâs note : @asdfghjkl7thingsââ thank you so much for your support and your request ! i hope you like it !
you and hajime started dating during your third year in high school.
it was a surprise to practically everyone who knew you two, but the both of you had promised each other that youâd keep it on the down low as you were getting to know each other. mostly bc the two of you had friends that never knew how to shut up.
and what you had between you wasnât really anyone elseâs business.
youâd comforted him when theyâd lost to karasuno, telling him that it wasnât his fault and that heâd done all that he could, and you told him that if he wanted to, he could play volleyball again, or do whatever he wanted.
heâd consoled you when you failed the one exam that you needed to pass to go to the university of your dreams and he encouraged you to take the make-up exam, studying with you and making sure you were more than prepared.
you were each otherâs rock and you genuinely thought that you were going to last.
until you got into an argument which turned into a full-blown fight bc the two of you were moving away from each other to study your respective courses.
you were scared of long-distance bc you didnât want to hold iwa back, iwa tried telling you that you could make it work, but as you insisted, he accused you of never really loving him and that you were just finding a way out.
ouch.
four years later, the both of you were college graduates, and something drew you both back to japan.
walking through your hometown felt strange. it was familiar, heartwarming, but at the same time it felt as if you were a tourist, discovering everything for the first time. it had been a while since youâd walked through the streets of miyagi, having gotten used to the streets of london so much that the peace and quiet was almost far too loud. youâd thought about it, staying in london and finding a job there, settling with a brand new life but part of you missed japan so much, your family, your friends ⊠him.
âyou know,â your friend looked at you pointedly as she wiped a vegetable piece away from the corner of her mouth, âheâs back in japan, right?â it was almost as if she was fighting a smirk.
a sigh left your lips as you shook your head a little bit, âi know⊠he posted something on instagram,â the subtle confession that you still followed him on social media came out as a grumble, because you knew that your friend would make it her priority to never let you live it down. which was why youâd never told her that youâd accidentally liked one of his posts.
her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she practically choked on her drink, batting at your upper arm, âyou sly fox you, so you do follow him!â you halted her frantic movements by grabbing her wrist.
âi do, which is also how i know that he has a girlfriend,â it was almost comical, how your friend practically deflated at your comment, scowl growing on her face, âitâs been four years, it was bound to happen.â
still, seeing him with his arm around her shoulders made your heart ache and you had angrily swiped away at the tears that spilled down your cheeks, because it was your fault. keeping him back had never been your intention and thatâs what you felt you would have done had you remained in a relationship together. all that distance, the drastic time difference, attending separate colleges full of new experiences. you wanted hajime to have the world.
it was almost as if fate was trying to play some sort of cruel trick on you, because as your mind raced with thoughts of your old high school boyfriend, you felt yourself collide with someone and as soon as you heard your name being uttered by the person in question, you swore your heart wanted to jump out of your chest.
âhajimeâŠâ his name tumbled out of your mouth in what practically could be constituted as a breathless gasp, as if seeing his face in person after four years had completely winded you.
the man in question took a slight step back, taking a good look at you, almost making sure that you were really in front of him, and not his imagination toying with him. âsmall world,â was his only comment as he scratched the back of his head, awkwardness settling between you two as you wrapped your arms around yourself, the chill in the air suddenly very prominent.
âwould you like to get some-â âi was going to go get someâ the both of you spoke at the same time, nervous words overlapping each other. âcoffeeâŠâ a smile as your shared thoughts fell together in perfect harmony, as if nothing had changed.
you had walked to the coffee shop in silence, questions of why youâd agreed to get coffee with your ex racing through your mind but the reason was simple ⊠you didnât want to walk away from him, not yet at least. sneaking glances at him while he grabbed your coffees made your heart thump faster than it had in a while, reminiscent of the first time youâd went on a date together.
there was a slight fear that it would be far too awkward to handle, but the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories of your college days, how youâd gotten so drunk one time that you ended up stealing a plant and taking it back to your dorm, or how heâd once gotten so hungry during a late study session that he and his friends went to a mcdonalds drive through, even though they didnât have a car.
you laughed until your face hurt, and you hadnât realised, but the two of you had instinctively gotten closer to each other, and his arm had ended up wrapped around your chair, you leaned over and shoved him whenever he said something to tease you.
it was as if these four years apart never happened.
as your shared laughter died down and you finished off your drink, iwaizumi looked down at his lap and shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself and making you smile softly, âwhat?â you questioned, poking his shoulder.
âitâs still you, you know?â he looked up at you, eyes locking with yours as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, âthe person i see by my side at the end of the day.â
his words hit you like a punch to the gut and you almost forgot how to breathe. you cringed, nose burning as tears tickled the corners of your eyes as you pushed your chair back, standing up and grabbing your belongings, holding them close to your chest as you rushed out of the coffee shop.
you could hear him calling for you, but the blood had rushed to your ears and you were trying your hardest to keep from crying, but as soon as you felt his hand around yours, you spun around and shoved at his chest, once, twice, tears dripping freely onto the pavement, cheeks burning red with anger and sadness, heart that was excitedly jumping around, now quietly sitting in the corner, thumping cautiously as you felt him grab at your hands to stop you from hitting him any further.
âyou canât say that shit hajime! you canât say it, not after four years of nothing ⊠you didnât try to fight for me, convince me to stick with you through it all, and you have someone else! how sick can you be? saying that shit to me, stringing that girl along âŠâ the anger wasnât making you think straight, words spilling out of your mouth without you mulling them over first.Â
it was iwaizumiâs turn to get angry at your words, âyou broke up with me!â he pushed your hands away from his before pointing an accusatory finger at you, âyou broke up,â and he turned his finger shakily at himself, âwith me.â
your mouth dropped open and you closed it again, gaping at the air like a fish out of water, hoping the words would come to you, âi wanted whatâs best for you,â you managed to whisper, âi wanted for you to be happy.â
âand you came to that decision on your own!â his chest was heaving now, bottom lip trembling as he tried to keep his strong facade, but it was crumbling, âhow dare you, decide for me whatâs best for me?â his words were only making your chest ache because they were true. you were scared that you were not enough for him, that youâd never be enough for him, âyou were whatâs best for me, i wanted to share everything with you!â but you were wrong.Â
he let out a strangled laugh, âand that girl? she knew it too. i tried going on one date with her, and when i tried going home with her, she pushed me away and told me that i was just kidding myself and setting myself up to get hurt, because my heart was with someone else.â
the two of you were practically in hysterics, wild stares at each other, tears staining your cheeks and some threatening to fall on his own. this was how the argument was supposed to go four years ago, not with you doing everything in your power to walk away. you needed to talk it out, communicate with each other; the only reason it had reached this point, as if you were two people in some kind of romantic movie on the sidewalk professing your love for each other, was because all these emotions had accumulated during the past four years.
after he let out a couple of strangled breaths, iwaizumiâs shoulders slumped, and he raked his hand through his hair, shaking his head and going to sit down on the sidewalk, arms on his knees and head bowed forward.
you watched him for a couple of moments, hand pressed over your mouth as you tried not to sob. the man whoâd held your heart so firmly in his hands even if you were continents away had never given up on you. suddenly you didnât feel so pathetic, but the guilt was eating you alive. youâd never meant to hurt him so, you adored him and you really did want the best for him.
swallowing back the remainder of the tears, you looked up at the sky and sniffled softly, before taking a couple of brave steps forward, kneeling down and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, âiâm sorry, iâm sorry, iâm sorry,â you chanted softly, knowing that no matter how many times you said it, silently praying that heâd accept your apology, even though you didnât really deserve it.
his hand rested gently on your forearm and he kept his head forward, pressing soft kisses to your wrist and the back of your hand. iwa hesitated for a moment, before he rested his hands on your waist, carefully guiding you to his lap and wrapping his arms around you, rocking you back and forth and shushing you quietly as you continued to sob into his chest. the way he said your name was as soft as a butterfly coming to rest on a fingertip, and he gently guided your face up to look at his.
âi forgive you,â he admitted to you, giving you a small smile, âiâm sorry for yelling, iâm sorry for letting you go ... â his forehead came to rest against yours, and his eyes were closed. you could feel your heart practically soaring, having him so close again, him accepting your apology.Â
your hand came to rest on his face, thumb gently drawing back and forth across his cheek, before leaning forward and leaving a tentative kiss on the side of his mouth, watching as his eyes all but shot open, cheeks burning red under the palm of your hand as he looked into your eyes, âi forgive you too hajime.â
~ three year timeskip. ~
you were anxious. more anxious then you had been ever in your life.Â
youâd been with hajime ever since you reconciled now, going through all the motions with settling into your life back in japan, finding a job you both love but still there were struggles. like how hajime worked himself to the bone, hell bent on being the best athletic trainer the national volleyball team had ever seen. you laid blankets on his shoulders when he slept at his desk while he was writing reports or planning injury prevention programs. meanwhile, he carried you to bed whenever you fell asleep on the couch because you couldnât sleep in an empty bed, or when you were studying for your job and you fell asleep at your own desk.
your relationship was strong, communication prominent during the whole time, because you knew what could happen if it wasnât there. the two of you never went to bed angry with each other, he always brought home flowers if he fucked up, hiding his face behind the bouquet as he uttered an apology and you always made sure to bring him a cup of tea to bed if you stepped out of line, before cuddling into his side and muttering a small âiâm sorryâ into the silence.
vip tickets gave you the perfect view of the volleyball court, adorning the japanese flag on one of your cheeks and a polo shirt that matched hajimeâs with âiwaizumiâ spread across your shoulders.
it would be your own name anyway, you thought, as you twirled the engagement ring around your finger, grinning brightly before looking up at him and giving him an encouraging wink, mouthing an i love you at him.
youâd returned home twice; to japan the first time, and to iwaizumi hajimeâs heart the second time.
#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi hajime x reader#iwaizumi x you#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyu imagines#i hope this is okay !!
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better off running wild
summary: college au. reader is supposed to be tutoring tony, but things get carried away.
words: 3,360
warnings: make out session
tags: @stanathanxooxâ @pageofultronâ @jrenn10â @andreasworlsboring101 @dressed-up-just-like-z1ggyâ @ms-allenbrownâ @ikbenplantâ @dylpickles1267â @diaryofafan17â @specialagentlokittyâ
Thereâs just something youâve always hated about jocks.Â
Most of them were alright, admittedly. Those who mostly kept to their own giant friend circles and didnât pay you much attention. Thereâs even a basketball player in one of your classes who gave you part of his lunch during lecture, which was pretty cool.Â
But the sentiment of disliking jocks, while cliche, is never so prominent than on Wednesday afternoons.Â
âHurry up, Slowpoke. I got practice at four.â Tonyâs broad chest is pressing against your shoulder, pushing himself into your space. All it earns him is an elbow to the gut, and the sound of him grunting is strangely satisfying.
âI can only write so fast,â you snap back to him. With a huff, you continue to scribble your name down on the libraryâs guest sheet. Once upon a time, you had a peacefully available Wednesday afternoon schedule. Sometimes, youâd go to the coffee shop to study and work. Other times, you might just head back to your dorm and catch a quick nap.
Nowadays, because Professor Gibbs decided you were the best for the job, you get to hang out in the library tutoring Tony DiNozzo.
As if the Professor couldn't have paired you off with anybody less annoying, less eager to actually learn, or any more inclined not to run off at the mouth about his favorite movie that youâve never even heard of before. And sure, Tony was hot. Jaw-droppingly gorgeous with big shoulders and a great smile and nice hair and somehow, that all just made him even more annoying because he knew he was a 12 out of 10.
Case in point, when you finally step away so he could sign his name, Tony smiled and winked. Probably a reflex for him to flirt with anything that moved or whatever. Youâve been dealing with it for weeks.Â
So with a cross huff, you turn and walk off in the direction of your usual table.
The table is located at the very back of the library - a stuffy little corner nobody came around or even acknowledged and itâs worked wonders for Tonyâs attention span. Out among the other tables, he just got too distracted - flagging down and talking to whichever one of a thousand friends he has, or attempting to chat up some poor girl who was trying to study.Â
Itâs sad, really, that you have to tuck him away in some dusty corner for Tony to focus, but it's where you are now.
By the time Tony shows up, you have all the books and papers laid out on the table for the tutoring session. âDid you do the homework last night?â You ask him without even looking up.
Heâs quiet for a moment, slowly making his way around you to his own seat. âI did some of it,â Tony answers eventually.
âSome?â
âYeah. I had a party to go to. Couldnât finish it.â
Tony plops down in his chair, tilts his head up, and puts on that familiar glamorizing smile - probably hoping it would keep you from scolding him. Maybe before, that smile mightâve weakened you a bit. Not now, though. Not after dealing with his bullshit for nearly two months every single Wednesday afternoon.Â
You sit with a deadpan frown. âSo a party is more important than your grades, huh?â
Tony blinks and shrugs. âWell, this party was. You really should come along to one, sometime. Have some actual fun.â
This isnât the first time Tony had tried persuading you into attending one of his dumb parties. Or even wanted to drag you along to his football games under the guise of it being fun and âthe college experience.â There was even a time where he called you in the middle of the night and asked if you wanted to go get drinks with him. As if you hadnât been cramming all night for an exam.
Frustrating and irresponsible. How Tony DiNozzo even got into this school, youâll never understand.Â
âLetâs just work, okay? The test is this Friday and I doubt youâre prepared.â
He shrugs and, shockingly, doesnât argue. And for the next hour or so, you talk him through his half-finished homework. But this was probably the most frustrating aspect about tutoring Tony - he wasnât stupid. Not by a long shot. He understood the work and actually got the questions right, if he tried. He could easily pass the class on his own.Â
Yet, youâre left tutoring him.
Once the homework is done, Tony slams his book shut with a smug smile. âAlright, Teach, Iâm done. Am I free to go?â
You shake your head and bend over to reach for something in your backpack. âNot yet,â you answer him. âI went by Professor Gibbsâ office yesterday and picked something up that will help you on the test.â
Taking out a small packet of papers, you place it in front of Tony. He studies it, eyebrows furrowed together, until you speak up. âItâs a practice test for the exam. I was thinking you could take it, Iâll grade it, and weâll see what you need to work on.â
Immediately, Tony lets out a loud groan - much too loud for a library, but really, you two were so far removed from everybody else that you doubt anybody even heard. Still, you glance around at the dusty bookshelves before roughly shoving Tonyâs shoulder. âDonât be a baby! Iâm trying to help you pass this fucking class. Do I have to remind you that if you fail, you donât get to play football? Iâm doing you a favor by tutoring you - the least you can do is try.â
The rant just spilled out without anything to keep it back. Maybe Tonyâs antics had slowly chipped away at your patience.Â
And for once, he was quiet. Tony blinks his surprise at your tone, his gaze drops, and then he nods. âYeah, I know. Iâm sorry, Iâll do the test.â Resigned, he pulls the packet closer and starts working. Really working.
Youâre left in shock that you just won so easily. Usually, Tony attempts to shrug you off, or he changes the subject, or just tries to flirt his way out. Seeing him actually working - trying - is a strange sight to see.
As the minutes tick by, you try to keep yourself busy as Tony works. Go on your phone, do some reading, go to the bathroom. But in the end, your focus just keeps shifting back to Tony - his eyes sharp with focus, and the furrow of his brow showcases just how much heâs paying attention to the practice test.Â
But itâs not all you notice.
AndâŠ.alright, you arenât blind. Youâre well aware that Tony looks good; how else does he get so many dates? You notice the way his jaw clenches tight. Every once in a while, he takes a deep breath and his whole body moves and youâre reminded of just how big his shoulders are. He must be one hell of a football player - not that youâd know. Youâve never gone to his games.
Heâs got a cute nose, as well. Not that youâd ever tell him that.
And suddenly, before you could realize you were staring, Tonyâs eyes meet yours. Flustered, you look away - but even out of the corner of your eye, his smirk is visible. âIâm done,â he says, handing over the packet.Â
But as you go to take it, Tony pulls it just out of your reach. So you look back to him, and heâs watching you in that annoying Tony DiNozzo way. Like heâs finally figured you out. âI want a wager, though,â he continues.
âA wager,â you repeat.
âYup. If I pass, I get to kiss you. Is that a deal?â
Kiss?
The word barely makes sense to you, right now. Youâre left blinking and scoffing - a buffer to try to make sense of Tonyâs words until finally, you can come up with actual words to say. âWhat if you failed?â Oh yes, brilliant; act like youâre going to go along with his stupid wager. Thatâs what you want.Â
Tonyâs smirk widens. âIf I failed, Iâll walk back to my dorm in my underwear,â he announces. âEither way, you win.â
You ignore the sudden onslaught of butterflies and yank the packet out of his hands. âFine. Deal. Maybe if Iâm lucky, it'll be raining when we leave.â
Tony simply hums, unbothered by your insinuation that heâll lose. And as you start grading the practice test, you can feel his eyes on you. Itâs hard to focus and with a rush of heat, you realize that he mustâve felt you staring at him before. And your staring had been a complete accident - Tony is purposefully watching you. And you just pray that he doesnât notice the new flush of your skin.
Instead, you force yourself to focus on Tonyâs test. Something easier for you to understand.
7) When did the Minoan Civilization end?
Tonyâs answer: The Bronze Age Collapse.Â
Okay, that one is correct. Fair enough, itâs not even that hard of a question. Next one:
8) The City of Rome was founded in:
Okay, heâs got to get this one wrong. In all the time youâve been tutoring Tony, there was one kind of date you knew he was terrible with, and it was the historical kind.Â
His answer: 753 BC.Â
Damn.
And it just kept going on like that. More correct answers than incorrect. Even when you finished grading his test, you didnât want to look up and face him and admit that he totally passed the practice exam with flying colors. That would also mean confessing that he won his stupid little wager.
âHowâd I do?â He eventually asks. And his voice is low; very different from his annoyingly loud and boisterous self that you canât help but look up.Â
Heâs watching you carefully, like you have his undivided attention. Itâs a little unnerving, but at the same time, maybe a little exhilarating. And you donât even have the mind to wonder why.
And it takes a moment to remember how to speak. âYou passed,â you tell him, matching his soft tone. Perhaps if Tony were acting normal, you wouldâve added on a teasing comment. Something about him getting a good score against all the odds, or maybe comparing him to the second coming of Albert Einstein. Then Tony would say something equally stupid and heâd leave because he has his precious football practice.Â
None of that happens - this is uncharted territory.
He hums again, slow and purposeful, as if heâs thinking. And you notice him lean over just a little, on the very outskirts of whatâs considered your own personal space. You catch a whiff of his scent and almost catch yourself leaning away from him.
Is this why Tony is so popular? Because he has his own gravitational pull? That must be it.Â
âLooks like I won the wager,â he says with a smirk pulling on his lips. âI believe you owe me a kiss.â
His words make you hesitate. Was he serious? Tony DiNozzo: football star, annoying heart throb, everybodyâs friendâŠ.actually wanted to kiss you? It has to be some kind of dumb joke. A sick prank. Something to tell his friends later on that he scammed you into kissing him and all he had to do was stop playing dumb.
Immediately, it becomes easier to lean away from Tony. To break out of the spell that his eyes had somehow cast onto you. His expression changes, but you ignore it. âDid you plan this?â
âPlan what?â
âMaking a stupid bet to get me to kiss you. Itâs a joke, isnât it? A prank that you and your dumb football buddies thought up? Well, itâs not very damn funny.â
You donât even attempt to hide the anger in your voice. Tonyâs eyebrows furrow together, looking confused but you ignore him to start hurriedly gathering your stuff up. Youâll just have to go to Professor Gibbs tomorrow and ask him to assign a new tutor for Tony - if he even needs one. Seems like he can manage himself just fine.
Youâre stuffing a textbook into your bag while Tony juggles with his words. âWhat? Hey- hold on, itâs wasnât a joke or anything-â
âRight. And you just want me to kiss you.â
âWhat if I do?â
Immediately, your eyes whip back around to face Tony. The way he straightens up does offer a tiny bit of satisfaction, admittedly. âYou donât, Tony. And thatâs fine, I donât really care. Iâm sure you can find someone else to kiss if you really wanted to,â you tell him blatantly.Â
âI know I can,â fucking typical, âbut I want it to be you.â
Slowly, you cease packing up your things. The next time you look at Tony, you really look at him. He looks serious enough; though, youâre not even sure if youâve ever seen a serious Tony DiNozzo. But you reckon this might be it. And if heâs being serious, maybe heâs being honest.
âDid you even really need a tutor?â
He shrugs, and a smirk falls on his lips. Not condescending, but almost like your question amused him. Youâre not sure which is worse. âMaybe not. But hey, you make history a whole lot more interesting,â he answers, voice smooth and sounding like the regular Tony that you know.
It makes you scoff lightly. Eyes breaking away, but he tilts his head to keep the contact. âListen, you donât have to kiss me if you donât want to. But I think you do. And I know I want to, soâŠâ
You finally stop and think about things. The way he lured you into tutoring him was very....clever, in a way. Putting himself in your domain instead of dragging you kicking and screaming into his. Tony is definitely a lot smarter than he lets on, and it leaves you wondering how the hell you let him get the edge on you, like this.Â
But he was also right - you did want to kiss him. Desperately. And you didnât even really know it until just now. Looking at him, your eyes drop down to his smirking lips. And as he starts to lean in closer, you donât pull away like last time. Once again, youâre caught up in his gravity. Being pulled in helplessly, as if heâs a massive blackhole in the middle of your solar system.
Tonyâs close now, so you fight to grab onto any sense of logical thought. âTony,â you murmur out his name. He hums in response. âI donât wanna turn out like all your other dates. You show âem a good time, and then never call them again.â You watch his eyes flicker up in surprise. âI know about all that.â
He hesitates, and then huffs in amusement. ââCourse Iâll call you. Gonna need help on that final exam, arenât I?â
Another dumb joke, but youâre not too focused on dissecting the implications of his words. Heâs so close, you can smell his cologne. Itâs a little strong but also dizzying and once his warm breath wafts over your lips, you canât help but let your eyes fall shut. A silent invitation that Tony gladly accepts.
His lips are warm and wet against yours, and they feel like fireworks.Â
Yes, the thought of Tonyâs many dates and flings had made you a little wary. But right now, youâre thankful for each and every one of them. The way Tony kisses...it just melts the world away. No more dusty bookshelves or crappy library lights. No hushed laughter from a group of girls that youâve been hearing for the past hour. This corner of the library is a tiny world that only you and Tony inhabit, if for a short time.
Heâs steadily stoking a fire in your stomach, even if he doesnât know it. It gets stronger when Tony hums against your lips and raises a hand to fit along your cheek - his palm is big and warm and the feel of it nearly makes you shiver.Â
And then Tony laughs, and you wonder if you really did shiver.
But the detour was brief - he goes right back to kissing you good. Sucking on your bottom lip for a moment, stops, and then waits for you to want more from him. You donât even know when your fingers found their way into his hair, but Tony groans a bit. The sound of him goes straight to the pit of your gut.
His lips are relentless. Barely giving you a chance to breathe and by the time you notice his hand has vanished from your cheek, your lungs are aching slightly. And before you can wonder too much, the hand is suddenly on your thigh.
The touch was unexpected. Shocking, even, but definitely not unpleasant. His hand is large and strong and when he squeezes the flesh of your thigh, you canât help but moan just a little against Tonyâs mouth. The moan, of course, was completely accidental and it sends a hot wave up into your face because you know he heard that.Â
But he seemed to like it. Tonyâs grinning, and his hand squeezes your thigh again. Maybe it wasnât all too embarrassing. âI like the way you sound,â he rumbles out. When he comes in to kiss you again, his hands slowly slides up. Just an inch, but it feels like a mile and youâre trying really hard not to start writhing under his touch. âLike the way you taste, too.â
Fuck, he canât be talking right now. Not when his kisses and his touches are already doing so much to turn your body into putty in his hands. Everythingâs hot and burning when he moves his fingers up another half-inch, dangerously close to the sensitive part of your inner thigh.Â
By now, youâre nearly panting. Fingers gripping Tonyâs forearm so tight, youâre surprised it hasnât hurt him. Whatâs worse, you donât even know why youâre holding onto him or what you want him to do: stop, or keep going. Evidently, Tonyâs in the same boat. Because he leans in real close, his breath wafting over your ear. âWhatâre you thinking? Wanna see how quiet you can be?â He asks, voice lowered to a harsh whisper.
You force your brain to start working, and you try to decide. You really, really try. But the choice is stolen from you.
âHey, this is a library. Get some space between you two!â
Of fucking course the librarian picks this time to come around to this desolate little corner.
Instantly, you shove Tony away, eyes dropping away from him and the librarian. âSorry,â Tony says, not sounding particularly apologetic. Eventually, the librarian walks off. And his entire focus is back on you. And for a moment, you wonder if he's about to start up where he left off. Or maybe ask if youâd want to go back to his dorm. You donât even know what your answer would be - yes? No? Can you have both at once?Â
âTony-â
âI got practice,â he cuts in. His smile is back as he leans in for another quick kiss. But Tony doesnât back away too fast. He stays, and when he speaks, his breath is on your lips once again - something so small, but already so addicting. âYou really should come to one of my parties sometime. I think youâd have a lot of fun.â
With that, he straightens up, picks his backpack off the ground, and walks off. Once heâs disappeared behind the bookshelves, youâre left alone at the table. Surrounded by books and papers and still finding it hard to breathe.
Were you still going to ask Professor Gibbs for a new tutor? Maybe not.
Was your decision entirely influenced by Tony and his lips and the warm imprint of his hand on your thigh? Itâs possible.
But as you continue to gather up your supplies - hands shaky and legs a little wobbly - you canât stop thinking about what might have happened if the librarian hadnât walked up when he did.
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steel heart: â [ soulmate au ]
pairing: kang yeosang x reader
wc: 5k
genre: trash
notes: some swearing. set in wave-era. the early 90s? this was supposed be a long, slow-burn kinda fic, but in my defense i suck ass at strangers-to-lovers, so. yes. not proofread bc idc.
summary: yeosang took joy in pickpocketing all of the naive tourists in town, until he realized he stole his soulmateâs wallet.
The pads of your fingers gently brushed along the row of cat food cans, your orbs flickering to each one as you squinted in concentration. Picking a can up, you observed it curiously and failed to notice a shadow loom over your figure from behind. A hand grasping a can above your head startled you, and you swiftly turned to glare at the person invading your personal bubble.
The stranger paid you no mind as he walked away, can in one hand and skateboard in the other. You scoffed, opting to silently glare holes into his back before turning around to continue your search, vehemently spitting out, "Rude jerk."
After filling your cart with all the necessities, you made yourself over to the checkout. You fished for your wallet from your bag, brows furrowing in confusion whilst failing to locate it. You were absolutely certain you didn't leave it at home.
Your felt your stomach practically drop at the memory of the man, head snapping up to glance around your surroundings frantically. Was he still here? Had he taken it? Had you accidentally dropped it somewhere in the store?
With an embarrassed smile, you hastily explained your situation to the unamused cashier and excused yourself to take a look around the store. Half an hour ticked by, and you're sure you've looked through every aisle about three times each, but your wallet was nowhere to be seen.
And to think your new life here was sailing smoothly.
Trudging back home begrudgingly, you made a silent note about the man's appearance. It didn't help that you only caught a glimpse of his backside, but you only had chestnut brown hair and a skateboard to work with. It wasn't much, but it was something at least.
"Don't give me that look," you scolded your cat gently, "I'll bring you tuna another day."
The gray feline gave you a blank stare before curling against the windowsill.
In all the days he's lived, Yeosang thinks today is most likely his worst. He pays no mind to the scrambling and angry Seonghwa, who is trudging around the house with an apron and gloves, grumbling (read: yelling) to himself about how the place looks like 'a disgusting man-cave that even a pig would be ashamed of'. Sure, the coffee table and kitchen were always littered with half-drunk, chipped coffee mugs, used tissues, torn magazines, San's cat treats, and random phone chargers, but in all honesty, it wasn't that bad.
Also, Yeosang had a major headache, and Seonghwa's nagging really didn't do anyone any favor. And quite frankly, he didn't give a rat's ass; He had other important matters to attend to.
"Wow," a loud laugh rings throughout the large living room, "You've royally fucked up this time, haven't you?"
"Who fucked up?" Mingi asks from the kitchen. He carefully stirs a pot of noodles while his blue haired companion stares impatiently from over his shoulder. If the lack of hygiene didn't kill them, it'll be the sodium instead. That, or San's crumb-filled, backwash water bottles.
"Yeosang fucked up," Wooyoung replies in amusement at his friend's dismay. The brunette picks his head up and gives the laughing boy a menacing look.
"Shut up," he grumbles, a hand running through his locks in frustration, "They don't need to know."
"What don't we need to know?"
As if on cue, a redhead plops down onto the sofa beside Wooyoung and a snickering San. There's some suspicion in the tone of his voice, and Yeosang doesn't like it. Hongjoong peers at the two in question, his eyes then studying the look of betrayal on Yeosang's features.
The brunette bristles angrily from his spot, "Don't say it-"
"Yeosang apparently stole a wallet," Jongho mumbles quietly from his spot on the floor. He squints in concentration at the word puzzle below him, not paying the older boys any mind.
Hongjoong quirks a brow, not quite understanding, "Okay? But doesn't he do that daily? What's the problem?"
Yeosang shifts his annoyed glare to the giggling San.
"Apparently, the wallet belongs to his soulmate," San smiles deviously, quickly snatching the brown leather item from the coffee table to showcase to Hongjoong, "See? Same birthmark and all."
Hongjoong's eyes widen as he assesses the identification card within the wallet, his jaw going slack.
Mingi noisily slurps his noodles while entering the living room, Yunho trailing behind him not too long after, "Oh, wow. Yeosang really did fuck up this time," he says with a mouthful of noodles. He and the blue haired male share a look of amusement, before both erupting into fits of laughter.
The brunette dropped his head once more into the safety of his arms, shoulders slumping in defeat at the sound of the other boys' laughter, "Why me?"
Another week and another paycheck later, you finally had enough for a recent trip to the market. You peered down at your work attire, grimacing at the embarrassing sight of red sauce stains. It'll be a quick run, so maybe nobody will take notice.
Grabbing a few cans of cat food and other items, you grimaced at the heavy weight of the hand cart straining your muscles. You sighed gently, turning to walk into another aisle when a blur of man invaded your vision. A heavy weight sent you flying to the floor, the items in your cart spilling and rolling down the aisle as the stranger groaned atop of your frame.
"Shit, I'm sorry-"
Your mind took a few extra seconds to process just exactly what occurred, and when you blearily took note of the flipped skateboard to your left and the mop of brown hair invading your vision.
A pair of wide eyed brown eyes met your own, and you silently gaped at the handsome stranger sprawled on top of you. You gaze at him as if you truly saw the sun for the first time, utterly captivated by the way his eyes widen ever so slightly. Swallowing thickly at the close proximity and the soft puffs of his breath fanning your burning face, you study his features intently, "Oh, wow.. you're.."
You really don't think you've ever seen a man as handsome-
You suddenly gasped.
"You!"
The man hastily sat up, eyes wide and mouth agape as he wordlessly took in your disheveled appearance. Before he had the chance to open his mouth for an apology, you fisted the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to assert dominance, "You took my wallet, didn't you?"
Instead of replying, he casually brushed the hair from your face and leaned forward to gaze at your left eye, his own widening at the sudden sight. You hastily slapped his hand away with a scoff of disbelief, "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Your birthmark.."
He suddenly snapped out of his train of thought, eyeing you in mild amusement while digging into his back pocket for an item. When you caught sight of the familiar brown leather of your wallet, you released a gasp of disbelief, giving him an accusatory look of anger, "I knew it!"
"I was looking for you actually- to return it," he curtly started, brows quirking up as you quickly snatched it from his hands. He gives you a brief glance, a glint of amusement in his eyes, before he stands and offers you a hand, to which you stubbornly ignore. You hurriedly stand and save the small crumb of dignity you have left. You quickly study the inside of your wallet, brows knitting in confusion at the untouched money.
"Cut the bullshit," you scoffed, dusting your uniform and shooting him an unamused stare, "You stole itâ" you blinked down at the skateboard before returning your hard stare at the male, "Who even rides that thing inside- I- nevermind."
You ignored his attempt at helping you pick up your items off the floor, defensively snatching the canned goods from his hands, "I don't need your help! You've done more than enough!"
"I'm Yeosang," he hesitantly offered his hand. He towered over your frame with an awkward smile.
"Yeah? And I don't care," you grumbled, turning away to saunter off to the cashier. The smile instantly vanished from his features, and he reached over to grasp your elbow.
"Wait-" he calls after you, "Give me a minute to explain!" He tugs you back, and you nearly stumble against his chest.
In all fairness, you've just found the thief who stole your wallet, and you quite frankly don't think he deserves any form of respect whatsoever.
You attempt to wrench your arm from his grasp, but he only tightens his grip with a determined expression on his flushed face.
"You have five seconds to let go of me, or else."
The fumes of Hongjoong's nail polish in the air and an obnoxious splutter of laughter greeted him once he stepped foot inside the large home. Why did he ever agree to live with seven other monsters?
His brow twitched in annoyance.
Three heads from the living room turned to gaze questioningly at the frustrated brunette.
"What the hell happened to you?" wheezed an amused Wooyoung from the sofa. Yeosang wanted to wipe that stupid smile off his face and-
"I take it things didn't go well for lover boy," San grinned from the floor, hands occupied with running along his cat's fur.
"Got his ass handed to him by his soulmate, you think?" Jongho added casually whilst adjusting his posture and clicking away at the remote. The other two snorted with amused laughter.
"Aren't soulmates supposed to be infatuated with each other at first sight?"
"I don't know, San. Maybe Yeosang's case is special."
"I mean, he did steal-"
"Can you three please just shut up," he seethes, rummaging through the freezer for a bag of frozen vegetables. He simply walks past Yunho's confused form in the hallway, grumbling about how he doesn't want to talk about it.
You thought you had seen the last of that pest, but the very next day, you practically choked at the sight of the male walking into the coastal cafe you worked at.
"What are you doing here!?"
"Y/n, wait-" he grimaced, hands raising up defensively, "Give me a minute to explain."
He even had the audacity to dodge your question.
"How do you know my-" you gave him a puzzled look, before your expression darkened, "Oh. Right. You stole my wallet, of course you snooped through my ID."
He gave you an awkward smile, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, "I forgive you for giving me a black eye."
He notices your dumbfounded look.
"Huh. I don't recall ever apologizing to you," you begin, "And I never told you where I work, either. You've been stalking me, haven't you?"
"No. You were wearing the uniform of this place yesterday actually," he points a matter-of-factly. Clearing his throat, he peered around, thankful at the lack of customers this early in the morning, "I uh.. I think- I think you're my soulmate."
You pause your ministrations.
"Come again?"
Rolling his eyes, he sighs, shoulder slumping as he repeats himself whilst pointing to his left eye, "I think we're soulmates. You and I share the same birthmark and-"
A loud laugh escaped your lips, "You are most definitely not my soulmate. Birthmark or not," you turned to assemble utensils and napkins, fully disregarding his presence, "I'm not interested in thieves. Now if you'll leave me alone, I have some work to do."
"But you felt a connection too, didn't you? Yesterday, in the market-" he drawled in amusement, leaning over the countertop in a teasing manner, "I know you feel it when you look at me."
"The only thing I feel when I look at you is a mind-splitting headache," you grumble while adjusting the radio station to your liking.
A minute of silence passes. His face scrunches in distaste.
"What on earth is that insufferable noise?"
"That's called rock music." You roll your eyes, "Now leave me alone."
You take sudden interest in the dirty speckle you find on one spoon, and maybe if you stare hard enough at it, he'll disregard you and leave.
Your head perks at the sound of a chair dragging against the floor.
"Serve me."
"What the hell did you just say?" you spluttered belligerently, turning around with a look of pure disbelief. Your eye twitched at the sight of him taking a seat so casually on one of the booth chairs. "You think you're so funny, don't you?"
"I honestly don't, butâ" He studied you with humor in his eyes, his fingers drumming along the wooden countertop, "my friends say that I am."
"I don't know who you think you are, but you-"
"A customer."
"Oh, piss off," you give up and turn to continue wrapping pairs of utensils together, "I'm not serving you."
"Is everything alright there, y/n?" called the tiny, elderly lady from the back, "Do we have a customer already?" Your head turns to eye the small, gray-haired woman exiting the kitchen, "Oh! A handsome fellow. What would you like to drink, young lad?"
Your eyes widen and your heart nearly drops to the floor.
Your orbs turn to slits as Yeosang gives you a sleazy smile, "Coffee for now, actually."
The poor napkin crumples into a wrinkly mess in your fist.
Oh, this bastard. This slimeball. You'll make him pay.
"Y/n! Take the man's order and start brewing the coffee!"
"Yes, Mrs. Lee!" You turned back to give the brunette a sour look, "The faster you order, the faster you'll leave. So what the hell do you want?"
The next day was much busier than the last.
You're particularly disturbed by the way two males stare at you like deer in headlights every time you pass by their table. They're young looking, maybe around your age. Kind of handsome, too- but they really don't know how to be discreet in the slightest.
Tired of the staring, you pause suddenly, giving them a look of concern as they suddenly dart their eyes and find extreme interest in the salt and pepper shakers in between them, "Is everything alright here?"
For a moment, they stay quiet.
"You're fine," the black haired one replies with a delirious smile, his head resting in his palm. He startles as the blonde elbows him in the side with a harsh whisper of Wooyoung!, and he jumps upright, back stiff and voice growing louder, "Uh! I- uh, I mean- it's fine! Everything is fine!"
"Okay.." you slowly draw out with furrowed brows.
The blonde grimaces in embarrassment, shielding his face with his hand as he looks off to the side in shame, "Can you at least try not to embarrass us?"
"In my defense, Yeosang never said his soulmate was that hot in person!? I could've used a warning, y'know?"
The bell on the door jingles and immediately catches your attention. You walk to the front with a smile only for it to instantly fall at the sight of the familiar mop of brown hair.
"Not you.." you sigh, your head in your hand as you stare in dismay out the window, "Why does the universe hate me?"
"Why are you complaining?" He quipped back with a playful bite, "Weren't you the one staring at me all day yesterday?"
"I was making sure you weren't going to steal anything," you narrowed your eyes at his growing smirk. He leans over the flaky, wooden podium and simpers at the sight of your panic stricken face, "Stop, you look like a creep."
"I know a liar when I see one," he sighed with a shake of his head. Reaching over to pluck out a stray fuzz of dust from your hair, he shoots you a determined frown, "The only thing I'm ever going to steal from here is your heart."
"I- that's kind of gross. Flirting is against the law on these premises," you stutter out, brows furrowing and nose flaring. You refuse to give in to his flirtatious remarks. You're also thankful the podium conceals your wobbly legs.
"Who the hell made that stupid rule?"
"Me. Now what do you want?"
"Such welcoming service skills you have there," he mumbles sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.
"Let me guess. You want chicken and a soda, right?"
Across the room, the two boys shared a quick look before one leaned over to whisper in the other's ear. They both nod in unison, before throwing you knowing grins and snorting as they munched quietly on their food.
"Correct," he says with a steady cold voice, "And a body-bag if you have any, please."
Before you processed his words, he sauntered off to the table of the two boys, their complexions paling at the sudden angry demeanor of the brunette. His hands quickly reach forward to tug both of their ears as he quietly berates them.
"I told you not to come here!" he ignores the way Wooyoung laughs and whines in protest as he's practically pulled off his seat by his ear.
"We're not doing anything! We're just eating!"
"Eating my ass, you're-"
"Oh, gross. I'm not gonna do that. Maybe you should ask y/n-"
You and other patrons stop to gaze at the commotion at the back of the cafe, and you roll your eyes at the disturbance, before walking back over to another table to collect the money and bill.
A few minutes pass and kitchen bell rings. You look back to see the fried chicken plate steaming on the countertop, along with a large glass of bubbling soda.
The duo discreetly peek up to stare at your form, only to startle at the unwavering glare from Yeosang.
"Fried chicken and a large coke?"
"Mhm," Yeosang meets your eyes, and you internally pester yourself at the sensation of your cheeks and ears flaming. How absolutely dare he make your stomach churn like this, "Thanks, y/n."
"Say, y/n. Are you new to these parts? I wouldn't forget a pretty face like yours if I saw one," mused the black haired male. Yeosang threw a hard stare at the younger, and the latter shrunk a bit in his seat, the same mischievous smile unwavering on his features.
"I moved here about a month ago," you stated simply. A moment ticks by and the trio argue in a hushed manner.
"Well, we'll take our leave now!"
"Good luck, Yeosang!" the blonde called out suddenly, throwing a thumbs up in the air whilst hastily making their way out of the cafe, the little bell signaling their departure.
His eyes glance at you momentarily, before he clears his throat and looks away.
Your eyes narrow suddenly at the brown haired man.
"You're paying for their lunch, right?"
He chokes on a bite of his chicken.
"Where are you going?"
"Out," Yeosang says hurriedly, fingers stumbling as he attempts to tie his laces.
"Where?" presses Wooyoung with a large smile.
Yeosang doesn't reply and instead throws open the coat cabinet to look around for his ripped, acid-wash jacket.
"Guys! Yeosang's treating us at y/n's cafe!"
Excited jeers come from some of the rooms, and Yeosang can only stare in utter horror and disbelief at his best friend.
Today was definitely going to be the worst day of his life.
A week passes by, and you suddenly catch yourself feeling almost disappointed that Yeosang hadn't come to visit you.
You want to slap yourself for having such thoughts, and take out your frustrations by wiping one of the tables aggressively.
And the bastard was spot on about that stupid feeling you got in the pit of your stomach at the mere thought of him.
But, you were keen on wanting nothing to do with him.
Not after the trouble he put you through.
Soulmate or not.
Besides, he was technically a criminal. Sort of.
He had a charming smile though. And really pretty lips.
And maybe you found him to be the most handsome man you've-
"He's not handsome!" You blurted to your reflection on the wet table. A table of customers feet away pause their conversation and give you a look of bewilderment.
"Uh," a voice pipes from a few feet away, "Table for eight, please?"
Your heart suddenly leaps at the familiar voice and thw corners of your lips perk up in happi-
Pausing, you internally scold yourself for being unable to conceal your excitement.
This stupid attraction you had towards him left your mind scrambling for coherent thoughts- and curse that feeling of your stomach doing back flips. You fight the urge to punch your gut to rid yourself of that disturbing sensation.
You internally groan, not even bothering to turn around to know who had just spoken. You stand up straight, clearing your throat and awkwardly folding the wet towel in your hands. Yeosang stood at the entrance, an unamused expression on his face as the other seven behind him nosily peered over each other's shoulders to spare you a curious glance.
"Uh," you begin, looking back at the empty tables, "You can sit right here. I'll go grab some menus."
As the eight men made their way to the table, you overheard one laugh loudly to the others, "Wooyoung was right! Y/n is pretty cu-"
A jerk underneath the table and loud yelp caught your attention, and you instantly threw Yeosang a look as the other boys timidly settled in their seats. He caught your gaze and rolled his eyes.
Oh, the nerve he had.
And to think you actually missed his presence.
You learned that the seven other boys were a loud bunch, often saying something to fluster and piss off the brunette. Especially when you were in earshot. And, sweet heavens, they can eat.
Your arms were practically sore from the amount of times you walked back and forth carrying their orders.
You watched as Yeosang finished with his meal and leaned against the adjacent wall, arms crossed in annoyance and face turned to the side to stare out of the window. Your eyes study the others before flickering back at him, and you canât help but feel a small, knowing tug of want in your chest. You instantly straighten up at the thought, shaking your head in dismissal, before walking over to collect some of the empty plates.
"Would any of you like some dessert?"
A blue haired man wiggled his brows.
"Yeosang wants some, isn't that right-"
Another kick and another glare.
"Actually, we'll just have four cheesecakes if you don't mind."
Ah. Finally. A decent, well-mannered being really does exist.
You can immediately discern that the red-headed man, despite being the smallest, held a leader-like aura to himself, given how the other boys suddenly fell quiet when he spoke. They look amongst each other and nod in agreement.
When the boys wrapped up and fought amongst each other about the payment, your shift neared its end. You nodded with a polite smile as they filed out the door with boisterous cries of 'thank you, y/n'!
"Sorry," a voices suddenly says, and you give the brunette a quizzical look, "If they were too loud.. or embarrassing."
"That's okay," you shook your head and shrugged lightly, "It wasn't a big deal. I'm used to loud customers."
"Right. So, uh.." he pursed his lips, words dying out in his throat as he glances around the cafe with nervous eyes, "Thanks- ah, for the food. See you soon!"
Before you had the chance to reply, the bell chimed and you were left alone in the cafe.
"You have a cat!?"
Your nearly jump out of your skin at the loud remark in your ear, and you immediately spin around threateningly.
Hovering behind you were those same two boys from the other week. You mentally make a note to find an ENT doctor soon. And perhaps a cardiologist.
"Yeah-" you squint in confusion as the black haired male leans forward to study your features. You gently push his face away with an uncomfortable grimace, "What are you doing?"
"You really do have the same birthmark as Yeosang, I can't believe it."
"Yeah, neither can I," you hum sarcastically, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cat to feed."
"What's your cat's name?" The blonde practically bounces in his step as he follows you into another aisle. You want to ask why he's filming the rows of snacks with a small video camera, but you decide to save yourself the headache and not bring it up.
You peer back at the duo with a look of disbelief, "Why are you following me?"
"You're interesting."
"Right."
"We should really have a cat play-date. Is your cat a boy or a girl?"
You sigh as you place a bag of chips into your cart, deciding to amuse them for a brief moment, "Pepper is a male."
"Great! Byeol needs a man," the blonde, San- you think, nods in excitement.
"What kind of a friend are you? Set up your friend before you set up your cat," scoffs Wooyoung with an amused snort. His hands grab at the large bags of barbecue flavored chips, and you contemplate giving the back of his head a whack when he sets them into your cart.
They continue to follow you through the aisles, and while a small part of you wants to tell them off, another part of you can't help but laugh in amusement and endearment at their antics and bickering.
Once you've finished shopping, you bid them a farewell, handing Wooyoung his chips and strolling over to the cashier. Your head suddenly perks up at the commotion over by the fruit section, and you only can stare in bewilderment at the ruckus the other boys create whilst shopping for necessities. A store employee stares nervously as one of the boys juggles a bundle of bananas and oranges, while another nearly stumbles back from the other two dancing aggressively in the aisles. You wonder if this was a regular occurrence, and judging by the way the manager walks by without a care in the world, you conclude it indeed is.
You step outside afterwards, placing the bags into your bicycle's basket, before mounting it and debating whether to look back into the market at the rowdy bunch.
Your eyes catch Yeosang staring at you, and bite your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. He's riding that damned thing again, and he pauses for the briefest moment to give you a wave.
You find yourself mindlessly waving back, and you abruptly stop once you realize your actions. You hastily throw your arm down to your side and attempt to glare in his direction, but he's already looked away with a large smile plastered on his features.
Most days working at the cafe were fine. People ate, some lingered longer to catch up with friends and play round of card games, and others came to take advantage of the happy hour specials.
But then there were some days you wanted to throw all your dignity in the nearest disposable bin, and wrestle down obnoxious patrons.
You huffed in anger at the sight of an empty table.
What kind of grown up decides to dine and ditch?
Isn't that what... children do?
It's when you stack their empty plates in your hands and turn towards the kitchen do you spot Yeosang walking towards you.
"Now is not the time," you start, hoping your annoyance isn't that obvious.
He silently hands you a wallet.
You quirk a brow, setting the plates down onto the table, "That's not mine?"
"Open it," he says with a roll of his eyes.
You swear if he does that again, you'll roll his head.
You furrow your brows and snatch it out of his hands. Your eyes widen at the picture of the very same man who left without paying, and you instantly shifted your attention to the brunette, "You did not just.."
"I'm sure all that cash is triple the amount his lunch costs," he replies with a wink, "It's no big deal."
"I can't," you swallow, shaking your head and handing him back the wallet, "I can't take this. It's considered stealing."
He gives you an unimpressed look.
"So?" he reaches over to flick your forehead, earning him a glare, "Stop being such a goody two shoes. He stole your service, so you steal his money. It's only fair, right?"
"I'll just take the amount he owes.." you speak unsurely, brows knitting in contemplation. He hands you a few bills, and you nod, "Yeah. This is just enough to-"
"And a tip."
He shoves the remaining money into your apron and your hand flies to smack his arm in shock, "No! I said-"
"Yeah, well I said you deserve a tip!"
"It's not my money!" you scold him.
"I stole it, so it's considered mine now, and I want to tip you! Stop being so stubborn, and just accept it!"
It's when you stop struggling do you notice the extreme proximity of the disgruntled male. He's so unbelievably close that you can make out the borders of the birthmark that mirrors your own. You don't waver as you stare back him with widened eyes.
"Y'know, you're kind of cute when you're mad," he begins sheepishly, eyes narrowing in thought as he inspects your features, "Uh. Since you're new to town, maybe I can show you around whenever you're free?"
Stepping back, you brush out the wrinkles of your apron and straighten your back.
"I'm not going on a date with you," you counter simply. You turn your face to glare out the window, but he stares knowingly at your burning face.
"Whoa, hold on," he smiles in amusement, "Date? Who said anything about it being a date?" You flush at his words, eyes narrowing. He laughs at your lack of amusement, "It's not a date, okay? Just think of it as a.. friendly welcoming gift. And an apology for, y'know. The whole stealing your wallet thing. Besides, my friends want to come anyway."
You cross your arms defensively and ponder for a while.
"Fine, but I expect an ice cream cone as a welcoming gift as well," you try and ignore that absurd feeling of butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach. You want to roll your eyes as his features suddenly brighten at your agreement, but you don't. Unable to breathe within the awkward atmosphere, you turn to clear the remaining utensils and plates off the table, "So, uh. I'm free tomorrow, I think. I guess you need my number, right?"
"Oh, no need. I already saved it." You swivel around to see him quirking his brow at your phone.
Oh, he didn't.
You instantly slap your hands onto your back pockets, your heart nearly dropping at the lack of the device, "Y'know, you really should put a passcode on this thing. Also, nice background picture you got there."
This obnoxious little-
He laughs out loud as you swipe the phone angrily from his hold and snap the dry towel onto his chest in retaliation, "Stop pickpocketing me!"
"I can't! Not until I have your heart," he leaves with an amused wave of his hand and a soft laugh, "Besides, you make it too easy. See you tomorrow!"
"Who was that?" asks Mrs. Lee as she waddles out of the kitchen with a large tray of pastries. Her eyes are wide behind her wide-brimmed glasses, and she attempts to tip-toe over the countertop to catch a glimpse of the retreating figure outside.
You contemplate your next words for a moment and bite your cheek to keep a smile at bay, "My stupid soulmate."
#yeosang x reader#yeosang scenarios#yeosang imagines#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#ateez reactions#ateez fic#san imagines#wooyoung imagines#san scenarios#wooyoung scenarios#mingi imagines#mingi scenarios#hongjoong imagines#hongjoong scenarios#seonghwa imagines#seonghwa scenarios#jongho imagines#jongho scenarios#choi san imagines#yunho imagines#yunho scenarios#yeosang fluff#ateez fluff
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The Miys, Ch. 137
Trying to figure out Authorâs notes is hard.... Sometimes I just donât have anything pithy to say, or have too much to say and donât know where to put it all.
Obviously I am an overthinker.
So, for the sake of everyone reading: Letâs cut to the Shoutouts!
The obvious first: @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, @anotherusrname, and @charlylimph-blog! I love all of you, you are the best.
Special mentions to: @zommbiebro bc I miss you and hope youâre okay. @nekohuntslight for being the OG person to message me about liking the story (yes, Bael, this is the dirty secret behind why I thought you lived in Australia when we first started talking.... shhhhhh). And alllllll the binge readers who blow up my inbox every day, Iloveyousomuchyoudonâtunderstand. Very much adore all of you, you have no idea how serious I am being right now. I need to go through and make one post just screaming all your names to the universe.
Tyche brought drinks and snacks from my kitchen before flopping on the couch in my quarters. The guys were at work, along with Antoine, but my office was closed down for the day. âHow are you feeling about tomorrow?â she asked.
âVati and Hannah have everything planned to the smallest detail,â I shrugged. âTheyâve already coordinated with Xio and Evan for all the crowd control and monitoring shifts, and the murals are going up today.â
She rolled her eyes. âIâm well aware of the logistics stuff. I literally handle all the staffing for the humans on the Ark, and Antoine was also part of the crowd control conversations.â
âThen why did you ask?â I laughed, grabbing a cracker and carefully stacking cheese and other toppings on it.Â
Before I could get it to my mouth, she snatched it and held it out of my reach. âBecause Iâm asking how you feel. Youâre only attending as⊠well, an attendee. No monitoring, no calling the shots, no working from the floor.â
She surrendered my cracker, but I found myself setting it down, appetite gone. âIâm okay - â
âLie.â There was suddenly a finger levelled between my eyes like a gun. Just as quickly, it was lowered, and my sister was tilting her head at me. âCome on. You know you canât lie to me - Iâve known you longer than literally anyone on this ship except yourself.â
âFine! Itâs weird!â I admitted in frustration, standing to pace and shoving my hands through my hair. âMy skin is crawling with anxiety, my hands are twitching to snatch up the files and nitpick everything to the smallest detailâŠ.â
âExcept they locked you out.â
âExcept they locked me out, yeah. But Iâm pretty sure I could get Derek to let me in, which is why Iâve made a point to tell him not to, no matter how much I ask.â Dropping my hands, I sighed. âBut if I ever want to leave this position, I have to let them do this.â
She shrugged and stole my cracker, this time chewing and swallowing before she responded. âYou could have kept some involvement in it, you know.â
âPfft, yeah right. I would have taken it over, and you know that.â
âYep.â
âThen why even ask.â I dropped back down on the couch.
ââCause you needed to hear yourself say it,â she explained, nonchalant as ever, snagging an olive and watching me calmly.
I sat in silence, processing it. I hated when she outsmarted me like that, especially when she was right. âCan I at least eat first?â
She laughed and let it go, telling me how well the murals for the Festival were coming. I hadnât even gotten to - allowed myself - to see the designs, and the more Tyche talked about them, the more I wanted to see them. By the time I finished my share of our snack, I decided to check out the progress.
We finally made our way to the decks where the Festival would take place, and I thought Tyche was going to die laughing at the way I gaped. The alcoves where the vendors would stage looked the same on first glance, but a closer look revealed very subtle shapes added that would give them a more savage, wild look in the right lighting. Metal sconces had been added to hold what looked like torches, but with special light emitters to simulate open flame. As we walked further, swirls of color revealed themselves slowly, first in light, curling tendrils, but slowly sharpening and taking on a more angular shape, twisting together into phantasmal images that vanished as soon as you tried to focus on them.
âItâs like walking through a garden, or a rainforest, but when I turn my head, Iâm in a city.â
âRight?â she laughed as we came around the final corner.Â
At this point, we were surrounded by this mural. Just up ahead, there was a messy head of black hair tied back with a green piece of cloth. Bare feet and arms show smears of paint, and overalls covered a tank top - that, or the cloth for the hair had formerly been sleeves, I couldnât tell. One hand propped up on hips while the other hung down, holding a very familiar paint pen.
âChrist on a triscuit, Vati, this is incredible,â I gasped softly.
She turned and smirked at me over her shoulder. âNot yet, but it will be when I finish.â
âI mean, all of it. The sconcesâŠâ
âThose were Hannah and Ivan.â Parvati walked over and touched one with her finger tip, stroking it gently.
Tyche made an impressed noise. âIâm only a little shocked that he had enough time.â
âThe materials are on loan from the engineering departments, and we wanted them to be rather rough in the finishing. It helped. Sophia, no matter how curious you are, please do not lick the walls.â
A giggle bubbled up through my chest. âThe thought never crossed my mind. I was trying to put together all the flavor profiles here. Itâs⊠a lot.â
âForgive me if I focused more on color than how the walls would taste. I donât generally cook, remember.â
I stared down a swirl of pomegranate, popcorn, and gochujang. The colors - blue, pink, and yellow, respectively - worked well together, but the thought of the flavors made my stomach churn. âI solemnly swear not to lick the walls,â I promised. âHow much of this are you expecting to still be up by the third night?â
âWe have a team that will specifically come touch up the mural in specific places the morning before the second day.â
Tyche turned toward me and away from her study of the art. âAlso, you would be surprised how much paint is on the walls. It will take a lot for Else to eat it all, once they are allowed in the area.â
âBefore you ask,â Parvati cut me off. âWe just asked them nicely. Well, Sam and Derek did. Theyâve become quite the ersatz diplomats to Else.âÂ
âAnything left?â
âHannah is putting the final touches on the curtains for the alcoves and the seating areas. Sheâll have a team installing them tonight once I finish.â
It was clever, and explained why she was only touching up part of the mural halfway between now and the closing of the event. âYou two have really put your stamp on it.â
âFeel better?â She held one hand up gesturing at the entire entire project, eyebrow arched to show me that she hadnât been fooled for a moment.
I rubbed my neck, and glanced at her from underneath my eyelashes. âBusted, I guess.â
âThat would imply that anyone had believed your charade,â she smirked.
Taking a deep breath, I looked around us again. âI honestly do. I could never have done all this. Holding on would haveâŠâ
âKept you in a position you frankly hate,â Parvati interrupted gracefully. âItâs the same reason Sebastian went back to the Undine. Heâs passionate about it, and it shows in the quality of his work.â When I gaped in insult, she held up a hand. âNot everyone can succeed through fear of failing and a determination that things be done right if they must be done at all.â
âEveryone talking about me needing to retire, like Iâm old or something,â I joked, throwing my hands into the air. âPhysically, Iâm only thirty-five.â
Tyche nodded to concede my point. âWhat about the food? I havenât seen a menu come out yet.â
The change in topic made Parvatiâs face collapse. âWhat? It should have gone out yesterdayâŠâ She flicked open her datapad, which flickered from the overspray that covered it. Frantically scrolling, she groaned. âThis was scheduled, why didnât it send?â
âDid you check the date?â I asked calmly. âSpecifically the year.â
âThree times, itâs scheduled for tomorrow,â she insisted. âRight here: May seventeenth, twenty-forty aw fuckâŠ.â
âAt least you got the decade right,â I pointed out. âYou wouldnât believe how many scheduled emails Iâve tried to automatically send out for ten or fifteen years ago.â
She nodded and seemed to get her bearings back. âSo, protocol for this is⊠just send it right now and apologize for the late notification, donât try to make excuses or explain?â
âExactly. They wonât care why, theyâll just be excited the list is out.â
With a couple quick gestures, she sent the email and dismissed her datapad. âOkay, that was the last thing, then.â Turning back toward the wall she was working on before, she waved to us over her shoulder. âIâm not trying to be rude, but I really do need to finish this up. Thank you for coming to see everything⊠it was oddly reassuring to have both of you give us your stamp of approval before the Festival instead of making us wait until after.â
âFor the record, you two have always had my stamp of approval, or I wouldnât have tried so hard to keep my nose out of it.â I knew she couldnât see me, but I still smiled. âWeâll catch up with you after the Food Festival. Remember: both of you need to plan on taking the day off afterwards. Iâm serious. Have your unofficial advisors drop in and chat about everything, thatâs fine. But no actual work, and I wonât let either of you see the survey results until the second day after. So rest.â
âGot it, boss lady. Have a good night!â
Tyche and I turned and headed back to my quarters. We remained silent as we took in all the preparations that had been done, waving to the handful of vendors who were bringing their supplies in already. Once we were back in normal corridors, the silence broke almost immediately.
âI think theyâve got this,â Tyche suggested nonchalantly.
âOh, I know they do.â
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#the miys#found family#humans are weird#science fiction#aliens#apocalypse#humans are space orcs#humans are space fae#earth is space australia#post apocalypse#post post apocalypse#original science fiction#original sci fi#original writing
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honestly i've been seeing bastion as like a Buddhist-ish place with ancient greek aesthetics, bc letting go of your earthly attachments to be enlightened is pretty Buddhist. 'If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill the Buddha. If you meet your father, kill your father.', that kind of thing. i haven't thought of it as a Light place at all, though i can see why others do.
so there's. a lot of things I would like to cover in answering this, and I'm honestly dreading it a little lmao buuuuut I will do the best I can. I have a lot of thoughts about Bastion, and about the Light, so I'm going to take this as an opportunity to explore that. so: content warning for discussion of religion and religious trauma, esp in regards to identity erasure.
full disclosure: I'm an american queer that was raised roman catholic (specifically, roman catholic within the confines of a heavily irish-italian community) and currently identify more as like. an agnostic apostate, would be the closest thing to describe it, I think. generally, while I'm not really crazy about organized religion as a massive institution capable of doing absolutely wretched things to the people it alleges to helping (and by no means am suffering under the delusion that it hasn't and won't continue to do these things so long as oppressive systems of power are in place, just like it would be in any other area, not just religion), I also acknowledge that there's a lot of good in it, too, and it's the cornerstone of many people's community, culture, and identity. ultimately, my opinion is that religion is a tool, and whoever's holding that tool decides its purpose and intention. it's. a complicated matter lmao.
I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert on buddhism, here. obviously this was not the religion (or any of the many cultures its beliefs are centered in) I was raised as, and honestly even the research I've done for this feels like it's barely scratching the surface. so, rather than try and argue or explain something that is really out of the realm of what I'm familiar with or have experience with (esp. something that's not really mine to claim), I will try and explain things from my own experience as a queer AFAB person raised as roman catholic. and speaking from that perspective, it is very incredibly obvious to me how much of bastion was lifted from christian theology. not just the aesthetics of it, all of the weird identity conformity shit, too. the way that kyrian ideology is being used here, is as a tool to enforce this conformity.
same with how the Light as a concept has been developed in recent years- there are no longer any significant differences between the way individual factions use and interact with the light, even though as cultures their views on it should be radically different, or at least different enough that they don't feel like homogenized versions of each other. like, there's no real difference between how the humans view the Light, and how dwarves view the light, and how gnomes view the Light, and it doesn't really feel like there ever was. Nelves' view on it used to be characterized pretty strongly and differently, as did trolls and draenei, but the longer the years go on, the more that they sort of blend together. to get back to your statement, "I haven't thought of it as a Light place at all," I find that very difficult to parse as a statement, as Bastion as a whole has been developed from base concepts of the Light. Like, Kyrians were designed from spirit healers, spirit healers are now confirmed to be Kyrians (for some reason), and all of the aesthetics of their magic, their clothing, their environment are all heavily priest, paladin, and light-inspired. everything is golds and marbles and sky blues, when they become "corrupted," they suddenly become shadow-themed, like all greys and blacks and purples, their wings turn black, etc. but the similarities, and all their short-comings, go much farther than that.
so the general story thread of each area of the shadowlands in this expansion is that things aren't as they seem, right? that their individual systems are beginning to fall to internal corruption and are crumbling under their own weight. and we see this in each of the trailers- the houses of maldraxxus are starting to eat each other, ardenweald is slowly starving to death, revendreth's citizens are being choked with heavy demands from the aristocracy, and bastion is struggling to adjust in the face of new, unprecedented problems, unwilling to change their ways, even when it's explicitly obvious how badly they need to change. like, I've talked about this a little bit before- the trailer and the way it's structured led me to believe that we, the players, are meant to be hanging out with Devos and Uther, trying to help them convince Devos' boss that very obvious bad thing that's happening, is happening. And this is about how it goes for the other trailers- we learn about the betrayal of Draka's house in maldraxxus, and the maldraxxus storyline is centered on helping her figure out what happened and pick up the pieces. We learn about Ardenweald's rapidly shrinking resources and dying environment, and the ardenweald storyline is centered on figuring out what the cause of this famine is. We learn about Revendreth's aristocracy and how they're demanding more and more of the common people, and the revendreth storyline is centered on overthrowing the increasingly tyrannical cruelty of their current leaders and helping the common people, with the help of a leader favored by the common people. And I feel like, given the state of things, and how the IRL world as a whole has been going the past couple years, helping Devos and Uther get to the bottom of this, maybe even helping Bastion adjust and change in the face of these new challenges, would have been a very good, insightful storyline, and very appropriate for the times we're in.
This, clearly, is not what happened lmao. Whether or not they'll decide to develop bastion further, at least in terms of addressing its failings with its own people, is up for debate, but based on WoW's previous history of similar stories, I'm not very confident lmao.
so I will touch on that statement of bastion being a "buddhist-like place" for a moment, I did look into buddhism a bit, and while I very quickly realized that there wasn't really a way that I could discuss this at length in a way that's fair (esp. with how many variations and cultures there are centered around it, again, I am not an expert, I am doing the best I can with the information I have), the very very bare bones basics of buddhism that I can find more or less boil down to, yes, letting go of earthly attachments to attain enlightenment. but this is not really a nuanced assessment of buddhism, and tbh, isn't really the goal of the kyrians' purification rituals. sure, at first glance, it seems to line up- shedding the burdens of their mortal lives in order to achieve ascension- but ascension here, is not enlightenment. buddhist enlightenment, from what I can find, seems to be the act of breaking free from the cycle of death and rebirth and from mortal suffering. kyrian ascension is the act of, not breaking free of that cycle, but tying yourself to it for an eternity of service. and living your life (even  an eternal one- especially an eternal one) in the service of others is a really strongly christian concept. and the kyrian's concept of virtues only strengthens this. the fact that kyrians have virtues at all is heavily christian-coded, and on top of that, the virtues they have feel like they've been lifted directly from christian beliefs. also like. they're literal fucking angels, trying to earn their wings. like. there's not much else I can think of that's that heavy-handed lmao.
let's talk more about those virtues, though.
the kyrian virtues are as follows: purity, humility, courage, wisdom, and loyalty. There are a number of variations on christian virtues, but here are two of the main sets: one set lines up as the ideological opposite to the seven capital sins (or seven deadly sins if you're an FMA fan lmao), and the other is more-or-less what is accepted in contemporary belief. This is what I was taught in sunday school/CCD, so this is what I'm a little more familiar with.
so set 1, the heavenly virtues, are: chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility, and set 2, the contemporary virtues, are split further into 2 groups: the cardinal virtues, prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance, and the theological virtues, charity, hope, and faith.
So humility, courage, and wisdom, are pretty straight-forward in terms of what they represent, and line up pretty neatly with humility (lol) from the heavenly virtues, and fortitude and prudence from the contemporary virtues. To touch on those briefly, humility is exactly what it says on the tin, and acts as an ideological opposite to the capital sin of pride, fortitude is bravery and endurance as well as patience, and prudence is reason and self-discipline, esp in terms of handling yourself and how you interact with others. And these are perfectly fine as principles. the ones that set off alarm bells for me, though, are loyalty and purity.
as kyrian virtues, they don't really line up to any christian virtues from either set. but tbh, this is beside the point- the fact that purity and loyalty are considered virtues, at all, especially in combination with each other, at best feel very suspicious, and at worst openly hostile. and the way this is covered in game only enforces this. purity is only obtained by sloughing off pieces of yourself that the kyrians consider obstructive to your ascension and how you can serve the Purpose, and questioning this or any other aspect of their ascension ritual gets you sent to the temple of loyalty to, ostensibly, stay there until you Get Your Priorities Straightened Out lmao. Like, there's no exploration of why these purity rituals are being questioned to begin with, there's no examination of why the rituals are necessary to begin with, and seemingly, prospective kyrians are punished for even asking. like, for a faction that seemingly prides itself on helping their members becoming their best selves, it feels strange that the reaction to their unsure members is punitive instead of therapeutic.
at this point, the link between the kyrians' beliefs and christianity should be readily apparent. it's no secret that over the centuries, christianity has used as a tool for oppressive systems to dominate marginalized groups, both within its ingroup and without. "purity" in christianity is less a virtue and more a heavily enforced, wildly contradictory idea, hiding itself in mealy-mouthed platitudes about being a Good Person or Becoming Your Best Self while simultaneously, stringently punishing its own members for daring to step a toe out of an extremely arbitrary line. like, I remember going to church growing up, and in the same breath that the head priest said to pray for various members of the community (thoughts and prayers, lmao), pray for [insert local sports team here] to win for their upcoming game, he also said that yes, democrats are corrupting the country. yes, homosexuals are going to hell. mass was an exercise in enduring misery most of the time, and a big reason I stayed closeted from my family for the majority of my life is because of this, and I still am, in many ways. I still have to divvy myself up in bits and pieces to become Socially Acceptable enough to appease my extended family, and there are certain family members that I will go to my grave never having come out to them, because I know they will never accept me for who I am, truly. so to have purity be a kyrian virtue with no further examination, no trace of irony, and to have loyalty as a virtue to back it up, feels, at best, extremely tone-deaf.
when you quest alongside kleia and pelagos, you see these purity rituals, and you see how large a toll they take on them. you see pelagos struggle, and you as the player help him overcome the difficulties he faces- difficulties he could not overcome himself. you see kleia, over time, becoming more and more disgruntled with bastion's governing body as a whole, and finding more and more cracks in the kyrians' concept of purity. but no lessons are learned, from either of these. nothing is examined further, and I have doubts that it ever will.
you, the player, see other kyrians, who previously were orcs, tauren, trolls, draenei, all these non-humans, being stripped of their identity, ostensibly for the reason that it will make them more just and fair a judge, a concept that rapidly falls apart the longer you look at it. the idea of all these sentient creatures from all these walks of life, particularly the ones heavily coded as BIPOC, are to be stripped of their cultural identity and made into Homogenous Standard (white-coded) Blue Human is so intrinsically malicious that it is genuinely baffling that it was even seriously considered as an idea, let alone greenlit and put into the game. prospective mortals are scouted to be kyrians theoretically for the lives they lived in service of others, in justice and kindness and wisdom, and then they are made to give up more and more pieces of those lives, rendering whatever they've learned, whatever experiences they've gained, that made them this person that the kyrians sought out in the first place, an utterly pointless and redundant endeavor. things like kindness, wisdom, courage, are not inherent qualities. They are things that have to be learned. They are things in which the context of them is paramount to how they will be measured. So to say that it is Necessary to do this, to make them Fairer, to make them More Just, feels both stunningly nonsensical and just pointlessly, nihilistically mean.
so what does this have to do with the Light?
well, in recent years, it seems to be steering more and more towards the idea that only correct religion within WoW is the Light, and there's only One Way to be Light. Early on in WoW's development, it was established that yeah, shadow has a bit of a reputation and can certainly be misused, but nobody's arguing that the Light can be misused, too, and that neither shadow nor light are inherently good nor inherently evil- they just Are, and each serve their own purpose in this world and its way of things. I had written a post about this like. several years ago, and a lot of it hasn't aged very well (I will not link to it bc woof, it was Pretty Rough to look at again after seven years lmao), but the gist of it was that Light and Shadow, are less like good and evil, and more like the Force from star wars. Well, a more nuanced force- again, Light is not Strictly Good, Shadow is not Strictly Evil. They are merely opposite sides of the same spectrum, but they are not inherently antithetical to each other. It was less a religion/belief system with an established deity, and more just reverence for the universe and its workings as a whole. Yes, it has the markers and drapings of christianity, particularly in its aesthetics, but the actual belief system didn't really lift anything from any particular christian belief system, and didn't really match up to any one of them, besides, again, the aesthetic of it. The Light now, however- now it does have a lot in common with christian beliefs. or at least, it and the church of the light have a lot in common with the mentality of those with strong christian beliefs. Which is to say, again, there is only one Correct Religion, and it's Light, and there's only One Correct Way to be Light. other religions within wow are either condemned, painted as savage, violent, heretical, or watered down so much that they either don't matter or function as mere Extensions to the light.
last summer, when I was reading the "before the storm" novel as research for my sylvanas essay, one of the many, many things that made it a difficult read was how like. unintentionally, thoughtlessly intolerant Golden had written it. Anduin, one of the main characters in it, despite having a history of kindness, compassion, curiosity, and understanding, is kind of shunted into being a 1-dimensional Good Christian Boy(tm). Like, he struggles with interacting with the forsaken, despite them having been in existence for over a decade at this point, and more than half his lifetime, and despite having dealt with them before, and orcs, and tauren, and a great number of other non-human creatures, while still treating them with grace and dignity, and respecting their perspectives, experiences, and beliefs. like, he's painted as thinking that the netherlight temple would be an alliance-only, church of the holy light only affair, and is really surprised, even stunned, at the thought of having to interact with non-alliance, non-light priests. and something that really really stuck with me while reading this, was that Anduin, this compassionate, intelligent, understanding person, could only learn to interact with priests of other factions and species, despite having already done this before, many, many times in his life, on the basis that They, Too, Are Servants Of The Light. and there's just. no examination in this. no irony. Light is Right, Others are Not. No lessons were learned.
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i saw that you write for ikemen vampire as well, so if it's alright with you i was wondering if you could write headcanons for mozart, vincent, comte, and arthur with a depressed/suicidal s/o who's main coping mechanism is humor? like they joke abt suicide a lot + make jokes abt feeling shitty when asked since they dont wanna worry anyone much but their jokes start getting increasingly concerning bc its smth i do a lot lol,, u dont need to do this if ur not comfortable.. thx and love your work!!
anon added: wait fuck i just remembered only three characters for headcanons so just do it for mozart, vincent, and arthur. thank u!
notes: Whaaat, come on, you cannot just do my husband dirty like that, of course Iâll do all four đ Before we begin, since everyone experiences stuff like this differently, our experiences might not be exactly the same, so these might not be universal. In any case, I hope you feel better đ„șđ
trigger warning(s): depression, mentions of suicide, and suicidal ideation.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
He did notice the jokes each time, but at first, he didnât necessarily feel the need to intervene.
Once was alright, he thought you might just have a different sense of humor. Twice was morbid, but he brushed it off. But thrice was downright worrying, and he was starting to suspect something might be wrong.
He observed you make increasingly dark jokes for weeks on end, and brush off anyone who tried to ask you about them, before he decided that enough was enough.
âWhat is wrong with you?â
Itâs a blunt question, completely tactless, but only because heâs actually quite concerned and doesnât how else to put it. Nonetheless, it catches you off-guard.
âWhat do you mean?â
He rolls his eyes, âDonât play dumb with me, (y/n). Have you been spending too much time with shitty Dazai again?â
When you donât say anything, the scowl on his face melts into a concerned frown. He wants to help, he really does, but itâs hard for someone like him to deal with such heavy feelings, whether his own or someone elseâs. After all, words have never been his preferred medium of expression.
So, he decides not to use them. Instead, he envelopes you in a long, silent hug. Itâs a little stiff, but when you start crying softy on his shoulder, he gives in and pulls you even closer, gently stroking your hair.
Up until then, you had no idea that the stern, ice-cold Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart could ever feel soâŠfamiliarly warm and soft, with his arms around you.
âIâm not asking you to confess anything, (y/n). Iâm not even asking you to tell me anything. IâŠactually have no idea how to fix any of this, butâŠJustâŠknow that you donât have to deal with this on your own.â
Vincent van Gogh
Out of everyone, it would probably take Vincent the least time to notice when something is wrong with you.
The morbid humor is one thing, but what really concerns him is how hollow your laugh has started to sound, and the glazedâŠempty look you get in your eyes when you think no one is looking.
He notices because he knows what to look for, because he has already seen too much of it, in himself.
â(Y/n), sweetheart, are you okay?â
âHm? Yes, of course, Vincent. Why do you ask?â
ââŠWhy do you think?â
There is a certain look in his eyes, so wistfully sad, as if mourning something he hasnât even lost yet, and you just know that he knows. There is no use lying to him. In hindsight, you think, you should have known you could hide it from anyone except him.
When a lone tear slips down your cheek, he gently wipes it away and holds your face with both hands, looking into your eyes. To your surprise, and immense pain, his own are glistening with tears too.
âWhy didnât you say anything to me?â
ââŠBecause itâs my problem and I didnât want to drag you down with me.â
You realize it doesnât make much sense now when you say it out loud, but you knew he was all too familiar with this complete and utter despair, this emptiness you felt inside of yourself, and you never wanted him to feel it again, even if it was by proxy.
But now, he stands in front of you, hands on either side of your face, and he places a chaste, gentle kiss on your forehead. He doesnât say anything, but you realize what he means. Iâm here. I understand. Youâre not alone.
(note: for those who donât know, Vincent van Gogh committed suicide at the age of thirty-seven.)
Le Comte de Saint-Germain
He is used to the residents of his mansion havingâŠstrange sense of humor and habits, honestly.
Even so, when you make a jest about killing yourself for the fifth time in a row, he canât help but be worried. There are only two explanations, you either just have a very, very dark idea of humor, in which case there was nothing much he could do except gentle advisory, or there was indeed something very wrong.
He keeps hoping itâs not the latter, but days pass and your jokes keep getting more and more morbid, and any attempts to talk to you about the issue are only met with smooth elusiveness.
âIâm only kidding, Comte. Of course, Iâm not going to throw myself off the roof. Probably.â
ââŠI think we need to talk, ma cherie.â
That sentence in itself is enough to scare anyone half to death, and when you have so much to hide, even more so.
The talk is long and tedious, with quite a lot of repressed emotions involved. On your part, first there is the defensive anger. Of course, there isnât anything wrong, how dare he imply otherwise? Then there is the desperate denial, because âignore the problem until it goes awayâ, right? Except, this problem isnât going away on its own, and you both know that.
Finally, there is the reluctant acceptance, and a lot of crying. Throughout this, he is as calm and collected on the outside as he always is, even when you grip the front of his coat and cry in his embrace. Youâre barely holding yourself together, so he needs to be your support.
But on the inside, there is a storm raging. You were supposed to be his responsibility. He was the one who brought you here, and he was just watching you wither away like this in front of his eyes? What kind of a person did that make him? Just how much of a failure is he?
âIâm so sorry for not noticing sooner, ma cherie. I have failed you.â
âWh-what?â
âI was supposed to protect you from everything, including yourself. Evidently, I have failed at that, and my heart aches at the thought of you suffering all on your own. But I intend to rectify my fault a thousand times over.â
You stare up at him with wide eyes, and without a warning, more tears spill.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Peculiar taste of humor is kind of Arthurâs brand. He enjoys his shamelessly perverted jokes, so he assumed you enjoy your dark ones.
Even so, he does get a little worried when he notices how your first instinct to almost anything is self-deprecation and jokes about killing yourself at the slightest provocation, and how you laugh a little too loud and too much when asked about any of it.
The more he notices, the more concerned he gets, and the more confused about just what to do about it.
At first, he tries to deflect your morbid jokes with some of his own, just to see how you would react. But the moment he talks of killing himself, you go pale, asking him to stop with such distress in your voice that he ends up feeling guilty.
But even after that, it doesnât stop you from doing it yourself.
âWelp, guess Iâll just go drown in a river somewhere.â
âAhahaha, but consider this, how about youâŠdonât?â
Heâs always so playful, and even fickle that it almost slips your mind that he is a writer, after all, and a very observant one at that. He is intelligent and notices every little thing, even if he doesnât show it. That includes the fact that your laugh has been sounding more and more empty lately, your smile seeming more and more like fake plastic.
So, when he confronts you about it, it takes you by surprise.
âWhatever do you mean, Arthur? Iâm fine.â
âRightâŠStop lying to me, (y/n).â
You frown. You should have known how hard it would be to hide anything from Arthur for too long. How long did you really think you could keep up this façade? The realization comes like a slap to the face, and itâs almost like your metaphorical mask drops. You start crying.
He is distressed at the sudden turn of events, but tries his best to console you. As he hugs you to his chest, gently rubbing soothing circles on your back, he wonders if he could have done something to help you sooner.
âListen, sweetheart. I donât claim to know what youâre going through, but I do know that you need help. I know I cannot just fix whateverâŠthis is, but I can promise that Iâm going to be here with you, through everythingâ
You laugh bitterly, âIt gets ugly.â
âI donât care.â He shakes his head, âIâm going to be here with you, whether you want me to be or not, and I promise to hold you together as you scream your throat raw trying to hold yourself together, promise toâŠstand by you as you save yourself. You do not have to do this alone.â
He kisses you softly, only for a moment, soft and true on the lips.
âShow me every dark and hideous, every bitter thing about your soulâŠand then, let me love you anyway.â
#wolfgang amadeus mozart#vincent van gogh#le comte de saint germain#arthur conan doyle#mozart x reader#vincent x reader#saint germain x reader#arthur x reader#ikevamp x reader#ikemen vampire#headcanons#imagines
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um!! i want to request a comfort hc/drabble(?) anything !! just đđ can i get hinata n/or tsuki comforting and standing up for their s/o (or friend!) who is non-binary ??
standing up for a non-binary s/o
⥠scenarios ⥠for hinata and tsukishima
gn reader
turned out longer than i intended tHIS IS MY PROBLEM N Y I UPDATE SO SLOW FORGIVE ME FOEFHEFOEFRG but anyway,,,, 2.3k words
a/n: i use primarily they/them as readerâs preferred pronouns in these scenarios, but i wanted to acknowledge that ik some non-binary ppl use other pronouns, Â they/he, they/she, or even all pronouns, etc :) reminder to pls be respectful to what people want and use their preferred pronouns! Â and pls lmk if i ever offend you bc i donât want to upset anyone <3
hinata
Just a week ago, you had finally mustered the courage to come out as non-binary to your boyfriend, Hinata. You recalled the rising panic you felt when you were met with silence and the slight widening of his chocolate eyes. However, his initial surprise was quickly replaced with a softness gracing his features. When he gently stroked your cheek and reassured you that nothing would change how he feels about you, you felt your heart melt with relief. You had nothing worry about, after all.
Unfortunately, not everyone could be as accepting as Hinata.
Picking at an array of noodles with a fork, you fixed your sights on the dinner plate before you, trying to ignore a certain gaze threatening to sear your skin. Next to you, Hinata grimaced. Munching on his stir fry and trying to be respectful in front of your family were the only things keeping him from wiping that leer off your auntâs face. She was blatant in expressing her disapproval, the wrinkles in her face contorting with disgust whenever she so much as looked your way.
After your heart-to-heart with Hinata the other week, you were inspired to come out to your family as well. The news circulated, and though you werenât expecting everyone to exactly be on board, the reality of disapproval hurt more than you imagined. It was great timing that today happened to be your cousinâs birthday, and you were forced to have dinner with one of your least favorite family members. Luckily, you were allowed to invite Hinata. You couldnât fathom how your soon-to-be 5-year-old cousin was so kind and polite despite being reared by such a tyrannous mother. Â Your earliest memory of your aunt was when she snatched your favorite toy from your toddler hands. You cried as she yelled at both you and your parents for letting you play with such a âgender-inappropriateâ toy.
You knew she wouldnât let you escape tonight without any offhand comments or dirty looks.
A throat cleared. You tensed in your seat. âY/n? Dear, could you pass me the salt?â
You dared a glance up at the familiar voice. Your eyes locked with your auntâs menacing ones briefly before you quietly obliged to her request.
âThank you,â she said dully, taking the shaker. Sprinkling her meal, she continued to speak with nonchalance. âSo, I heard you go by âtheyâ now? Whatâs wrong with he/she, hm? I mean, that is what you are, and thatâs the only thing you should go by.â
Silence. Your parents looked at one another in discomfort, unsure how to respond. Your cousin looked back and forth between you and and your aunt curiously, unaware what was happening. A few more seconds passed by. With a shaky breath, you could only stutter out a timid âI-I--â before your mother cautiously piped up. âAunt *name*, please, itâs your childâs birthday, letâs save this conversation for another ti--â
A scoff interrupted her. âEasy for you to say. Youâve always been so soft on y/n. Neither of you,â she glared accusingly at your parents, âraised her/him right. Now, look whatâs happened. She/heâs gone delusional. How could any of you be okay with this and carry on like normal?â
You could feel yourself holding back tears. You wanted to say something against her, to show her you werenât afraid of her and didnât care what she thought. To prove that she didnât know anything about you. That she had no right to be talking to you like this.
Yet you remained frozen in your seat, unable to speak. Inside, your mind went blank, leaving you defenseless against her hateful tirade.
âIf she/he were my daughter/son, Iâd set things straight immediately. No more outside communication. Who knows what nonsense theyâve been feeding your child? She/he needs to see a specialist to undo whatever brainwashing has occurred and--â
SCREECH.
Hinata stood in front of his seat, which had slid noisily across the floor when he pushed it back. He was silent, his eyes pointed downward and his two palms pressed on the table. All eyes looked at him with shock, if not a tinge of curiosity.
âStop saying those things as if you knew one thing about y/n and what theyâve had to go through,â he said in a low voice, teeth clenched.
A challenging arch of the brow replaced your auntâs initial surprise. âOh, please. What do you know? Youâre just a naive kid like y/n. You donât understand. You know nothing about the real world and you kids go about life as if you can just do anything. Youâre selfish.â
âYouâre being selfish for refusing to understand a point of view that youâre not used to. How could you live with yourself knowing that youâre making someone you should care about miserable for the rest of their lives? You have no right to speak as though you know y/n. All you care about is your opinion, regardless of whether or not itâs right, and how you look to other people. Whatâs wrong with letting y/n make their own decisions? Why invalidate them before even giving them the chance to explain and help you understand? You should think about how youâre acting before trying to teach someone else how they should live.â
The air cracked with silent tension. It was too much. Quickly, you got up and dashed to the front door, unlocking it and stepping outside to breathe in the cool evening air. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you stumbled off the front porch, increasing the distance between yourself and that dinner table.
Your body jolted with shock when you heard a familiar voice out and felt a pair of arms wrap from behind your frame. Hinata was breathing heavily, his rushed voice laced with worry. âIâm sorry for making a scene in front of your family, y/n, but I couldnât just sit around and let her say whatever she wanted. You donât deserve that treatment. I donât regret anything I told her. And if sheâs still bothering you, or anyone else for that matter, you bet Iâm gonna be there to stick up for you, no matter what.â
Despite the tears that pricked at your eyes, a small smile formed on your lips. Ditching your family dinner, you spent the rest of the evening together seated in a booth at a nearby fast food restaurant, munching on goodies and sharing lighthearted jokes. That night, you were reminded that it didnât matter what someone like your aunt thought. Those who did matter were the ones who accepted and cared for you--the real you. In the midst of darkness, you found yourself a radiant being who never failed to brighten your day. You didnât know what you did to deserve Hinata, but you knew he would be by your side through it all. For that, you were grateful.
tsukishima
After a rough week of nonstop work, food delivery, and 1AM espressos, you were relieved Saturday had finally come. Tsukishima, who had come by your home a few times that week to check up on you(r sanity) and drop off some surprise dinners, nagged you to take better care of yourself and offered to treat you to lunch that weekend (after you promised to get a lot of rest when you were finished). When you beat your deadlines early Friday evening, you nearly cried tears of joy and immediately passed out on your bed to catch up on lost sleep.
Saturday reminded you of the beauty of the outside world, much needed after your long week of confinement. Both sun and clouds gathered in the pale blue sky overhead. Warm sunshine freckled your skin while a gentle breeze cooled your temple. Hand in hand, you walked down the block with Tsukishima towards the farmerâs market. Already you could hear the nearby murmurs of a crowd and smell the savory aroma of freshly cooked food. Your stomach grumbled with enthusiasm as you thought about all the delicious choices waiting to be ordered.
Numerous vendors lined up down the street. Smoke arose from hot grills, carrying the scent of various spices through the air. Workers called out to passing customers, offering them samples of their homemade nut butters or showing off their natural, handmade soaps. With a fascinated glint in your eye, you observed each stand you passed by. From Hawaiian poke, grilled paninis, and tacos, to Thai stir fry, barbecue, and shawarma, the options seemed endless. As much as you loved the variety, it made making a decision even more difficult.
âTsukkiiii,â you said pleadingly, âI donât know what I want.â
He sighed. âWell, whatâs your appetite in the mood for?â
âNo clue, thatâs why Iâm asking.â
When he shot you an annoyed look, you held your hands up. âHey, Iâve been using my brain way too much this week. Iâm tired of thinking. Iâm pretty down for anything, to be honest.â
With a shrug, he suggested trying the ramen from a stand several feet away from you both. You happily agreed and dragged the both of you to stand in line. Looking down at your shirt, you pulled on it slightly and adjusted the pin attached close to your collar. It depicted a cartoon cat with a text bubble that said âthey/themâ to indicate your preferred pronouns (though, in the note above, ik you may have a different combination of preferred pronouns. feel free to just sub in whatever those are into the pin ^-^ ). You recalled how you heart rushed with excitement when you found it in your mailbox that morning.
âYou know, you didnât have to get this for me,â you told your blonde companion as you admired your gift. Hands in his pockets, he gave you another shrug. âI just thought it suited you. Plus, strangers wonât misgender you, anymore.â
âThatâs really thoughtful of you, Kei... Thank you, again, really.â
His lips formed into a thin line and he looked off to the side. He muttered a low, âDonât mention it.â before stepping forward to follow the shortening line. A huff of amusement escaped you in response. You were also taking a step forward when you felt a shove on your left side. Tsukishima caught you mid-stumble, helping you regain your balance and stand upright again. Narrowing his eyes, he looked over at the man who bumped into you. The stranger caught himself from stumbling as well, then scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.
âAh, Iâm sorry about that young man/woman! I wasnât looking clearly,â he apologized.
You shook your head in response, offering him a smile. âNo worries. Iâm glad weâre both okay.â
He was about to laugh in agreement when he noticed the pin attached to your top. His smile vanished and he looked at you quizzically. âSay, whatâs that pin you got there?â
âOh,â you pointed at it. âThis? These are my gender pronouns. I go by âthem/them,ââ you announced proudly.
Raising an eyebrow, he asked, âWhat does that even mean? âThey/themâ is plural, so doesnât it make more sense to just go by he/she?â He paused for a few seconds of thought. Then, it clicked. âIs this that âgender identityâ bullshit Iâve been hearing about lately?â
Your enthusiasm quickly dissipated. âOh gosh, please donât tell me that this personâs--â
âNow missy/boy, I donât know whatâs gotten into all your heads, thinking you can just pick and choose whatever or whoever you want to be. What you were born with is who you are. Why canât people accept that and have to complicate things? Itâs biology. I swear, people are just doing this for attention or a trend or whatever--â
âAhem,â Tsukishima cleared his throat, interrupting the manâs rant. He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and drew you close against himself. âPerhaps the topic is too complex for your tiny mind to comprehend,â he challenged, his voice dripping with collected hostility. âYou should stop going on about things you donât understand; it makes you look even more ignorant. Now, please, stop bothering my partner before you piss me off more.â
The stranger glared up at Tsukishima, then back at you. Deciding it wasnât worth a fight, the man scoffed and shoved past your boyfriend;s shoulder, then disappeared into the crowd. Behind you, a kidâs wide eyes looked at Tsukishima with awe. âWow, that was really cool! You really showed him!â
âTch, it was nothing,â he responded bashfully. âCanât let assholes get away with whatever they want.â
15 minutes later and you were both settled in a shady area on a grassy field with ramen bowls in your lap. Your eyes were glued to the ground. Tsukishima waved a hand in front of your face with concern.
âEarth to y/n? You good? Youâve been quiet since we encountered that guy earlier.â
You risked looking up into his eyes, unable to control the stream of tears running down your eyes. Surprised, the blonde placed his hands on the sides of your face and started to wipe your tears off with his thumbs. âI-Iâm just, r-really grateful that you,â you choked between sobs, âwere here with m-me, today. I d-donât know what I wouldâve done if I was alone.â
You let him wrap his arms around you as you buried your face in his shoulder. He nestled his cheek onto the top of your head and ran a gentle hand up and down your spine. âItâs okay,â he murmured softly. âI wonât let anyone hurt you, anymore. I promise.â
Several minutes later, you pulled away, sniffling and rubbing the remaining tears from your eyes with your forearm. He gave your head a small pat.
gRhhrrhGRH.
âSomeone sounds hungry.â You rolled your eyes and swatted his hand off your head.
2 minutes into eating, and you asked (suggestively), âCan we eat from the same bowl and see if we end up connecting noodles?â
âN-No, thatâs dumb.âÂ
âOh, câmonnnnn~ You know you want to, youâre blushing.â
âIâm not!â
a/n: sry about the weird stomach growl effect LMAO
if you coudlnt tell i was hungry writing this n i miss going out to eat foueherhggu
i hope u enjoyed <3 pls lmk if u would like any changes anon or smth different (liks regular hcâs, etc). have a lovely day n i hope you feel better <3 ill fite anyone who makes u feel bad >:(
#haikyuu x reader#hinata x reader#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#hinata shoyo x reader#haikyuu imagines#hinata shoyo#tsukishima kei#requests#comfort request
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