#if a character is married cannonically I respect those bonds

[erbis-artist]

What?! You don’t ship Lila x Jaune?! They are so cute together as a couple

Its a personal factor. I aint comfortable with married characters dating single characters... Jaune is married cannonically, while as I said we dont know about Lila's husband and their bond yet at all... I just aint comfortable with this ship. You can ship it, and anyone else can by creating AUs where the 2 are together. I dont mind that. But for me... I cant create such content in a romantic way, maximum platonic, otherwise I feel weird and a bit disturbed... I ship Jaune x her husband, and Lila x her husband. Thats it from me, sorry.

[darklingichor]

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton *Major Spoilers*

I did not plan to revisit this one because I still have it mostly memorized from when I read it over and over as a teenager.

I loved this book so much, even though my life was worlds away from Ponyboy's, I related to him.

This is probably the most influential book I've ever read. I found out it was written when S.E. Hinton was a teen and I thought "Maybe I can do it too."

I soon found that I was far too sensitive to let people read what I wrote, I couldn't get around the idea of pouring part of myself into something and having someone tell me it sucks.

Now, I realize that's pretty rich considering this blog, but I couldn't do it as a kid and even now it feels a little like saying "please judge my spleen for your liking. If it is found lacking, by all means throw it in the shredder. Fear not, I will feel every cut."

This is why very few people have ever read my fiction.

That's also why, with a couple of exceptions I try to be very respectful of every book I read.

Anyway, what made me return to The Outsiders was that I discovered that there was a 50th anniversary edition. This hardcover has extras, my finger was hitting buy before I even registered it.

So, reread it for the first time in a long time.

I sank into the sweet nostalgia of the story. Reading this book is like sliding on a well worn pair of jeans. This book introduced me to Robert Frost.

I taught myself to type using the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" because I had it memorized and would never get tired of it.

I still love the friendships and family bonds presented in the story. I still got a knot in my throat when Johnny died and Dally lost everything. I cried when Ponyboy found Johnny's letter. By God, but I still love this book.

I did notice that some things hit differently now than they did even when I read it once in my 20's.

The first thing I noticed is akin to when you watch The Little Mermaid as an adult and Arial says that she's sixteen and not a kid

and you laugh out loud because, girl, you are a zygote, shush!

When Cherry says to Ponyboy, she could fall in love with Dallas Winston so she hopes she never sees him m again. When I was a kid reading this,familar with The Breakfast Club, Grease, etc, this seemed like a natural statement.

Now? My first thought was "Oh honey, you're more screwed up than I remembered." Because from their first interaction, Cherry would fall in love with a catcalling construction worker.

Ponyboy says that Dallas said something "Really filthy".  In the movie, he asks Cherry howhe was suppose to know if her hair was really red, like her eyebrows were. A roundabout way of asking if the carpet matches the drapes. Bad enough and in the context of the 1960's that might have been dirty enough to be censored from the orginal manuscript, but I always imagined it was worse than that.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, after all, Dally wasn't so much a step up or down from Bob, as a step to the side.

Honestly when I was fourteen and reading this for the first time, I didn't think much of Cherry, I thought she was fake, and very stupid. She was older than me, but I knew it was massively fucked up not to admit she dated a bad guy.

  I see her as sad now, and she's a much darker character She's painted as someone with integrity, someone with principles.

She wouldn't take a Coke from Dally.

She tells Bob that it's her or the booze.

Won't take a pop from a hood, threatens to break it off with her boyfriend if he continues to drink. Okay, understandable.

Realize he beat the tar out of, and pschologically scarred a kid for kicks?

He was sweet sometimes.

What?

He was something special.

She says to the kid he and his friends attempted to murder. 

"He wasn't just any boy."

Right you are, Cherry. Incidentally, did you have any pets disappear while you dated him?

She's a mixed up girl.

I had many a head cannon for the characters in this book when I first read it.

I thought Ponyboy would grow up to be a writer, Darryl would open his own roofing business, Soda and Steve would work for him while fixing cars on the side. Two-Bit would work with them when he felt like it, or he would end up hitching to California to be a stand-up comic.

I thought Cherry would end up married to someone who worked for her father, who I imagined was a lawyer.

After this read through? I adjusted that future.

We met Randy again in That was Then, This Is Now. He's a hippie, which makes perfect sense. I see Cherry running off to Haight Ashbury. I don't get farther than losing sight of her red hair on a crowded, sunny sidewalk, but I get the same spooky vibe I always got after reading Rumble Fish.

Something else that hit differently, the relationships between the boys.

It hit differently for me because I know now why I love it so much.

I remember being  in a major reading slump before I picked up this book. See, I couldn't get into the books that were marketed to me. I wasn't in to RL Stine, except for the history of Fear Street books. I couldn't get into Christopher Pike at all.

I was reading mysteries and westerns, but I really wanted something that had people my age in it that wasn't a romance or sick lit. I'd read enough of those, and I thought that if I read one more book where boy meets girl then one of them croaks I would scream.

So I went to my mom's bookshelf, and found her copy.

I really loved that the real connections that are focused on, are between friends and family. These connections were not treated as being less than a romantic relationship. In fact, just the opposite, the gang see each other as their cement relationships. Soda and his girlfriend Sandy break up, he's hurt and it adds to an already rough time, but it is not a focus.

I suppose it could be argued that the reason for the lack of focus on romance has to do with the fact that Pony states that he's not thinking of it yet. But seeing how all of the gang look out for each other from Darryl keeping the Curtis's door unlocked in case one of the boys needed a place to crash, to everyone looking out for Johnny, to Johnny staying with Pony when he was upset after his fight with Darry, and looking out for him when they were in hiding, to Dallas helping them find a place to go after Bob was killed, to Pony sticking by Johnny after the killing, to Two-Bit sticking up for Johnny when his mother came to the hospital  and how broken up he was when Ponyboy got sick, and finally how one of Johnny's last acts was to write Ponyboy a letter that he hoped would help both Pony and Dallas.

These are not friendships that end when everyone starts dating.

This seems like a "duh" statement, but you have to think, so many things show friendships as training wheels. Something you use until you reach the next level and find a romantic partner. And, maybe this was just my small town, but that was very much the way things went around me, it was expected.

It was great to read a book about kids around my age who didn't see friendships as inferior to romantic relationships.

Now, knowing that I'm Aro Ace, I think I liked it because it spoke to what I thought was important without making it seem like something I needed to grow out of.

The extras were cool, letters between the author and the editors when the book was in the works, letters from the actors who played Pony, Johnny, Soda, Dallas, and Randy.

It was interesting to read the actors' feelings about characters they played so early in their careers. I was half hoping Matt Dillon would apologize for choking on, and embodying that gigantic piece of ham during the death scene, but one can't get everything in life.

I could read the other SE Hinton books, and talk about the connections between them, but I will likely skip That was Then, This is Now and Rumble Fish.

See, I didn't like That Was Then This Is Now very much when I first read it. A big reason? I didn't like Bryon. There was just something about the character that rubbed me the wrong way.

He's... I don't know... he's like Two-Bit without the charm. Plus, Ponyboy is featured, but Bryon hates him. It seems out of jelousy because of all the stuff that had happened in The Outsiders. And he hates him even more *because* he's quiet about it. I get distancing the last book from the next and that was an effective way of doing it, but when I was younger it just made me not like the character all the more.

I've read it a few times since I was younger, wondering if it would improve as I aged. It didn't.

Bryon is still mostly unlikeable. Plus, I grew up in the Frying an Egg, Diving into an Empty Swimming Pool, DARE, era of drug awareness. The whole book felt like a PG-13 version of The Buttercream Gang. Now that I have sufficiently aged myself...

Rumble Fish, I loved, but like I said, it's an unsettling story and one that left me oddly unsatisfied.

I really enjoyed the next two, Tex and Taming the Star Runner so I may revisit those.

[vroomian]

(headdesk slam) Yes, that was 2/2 percent didn’t even realize I forgot to add it in the message until after I sent it and spent like 5 mins internally screaming at myself. I’m a mess of a human being tbh. Really? I’m surprised because it feels like Xi fits perfectly in this AU. Xi as accidental cryptid is the best thing, in both worlds. That’s a relief to hear. My anxiety and I don’t get along so I tend to go to worst possible scenario. You’ll probably regret that soon enough. 1/2

I’m like a magpie if something catches my interest and I’ll fuss over it and go all crazy. Especially now, seeing that you did that hob oneshot and mdzs that is two of the main three bl web novels that I now of. Like, of the three I’ve only fully read svsss and my mind immediately went to wonder where Xi would fit in that verse and at this point he’d totally be where the biggest amount of knowledge is and that my mind went ‘what if Xi was head disciple of Qing Jing Peak?’ 2/?

But that’s pretty unlikely given Xi’s desperate avoidance of feelings, plot, and responsibility. Though I could totally see him as a reluctant head disciple and desperately trying to avoid plot. Plus, definitely the first to notice that something would be off with this new Qingqiu. That said, bullying in his peak would not fly with him so I could see Binghe crushing on this unknown elder disciple.

3/3 I’m sorry I don’t want to make it seem like I want to push you to write another AU when you’ve got enough on your hands. My mind just just went ‘ooh what if this happened?’ And I wanted to share my thoughts with you because I think it’s interesting. So yeah, again feel free to ignore this. I’m like that guy from the meme with the pictures on the wall and red thread when my brain goes nuts lol.

long ask so this goes under the cut

okay there are a million different ways this question could go, because like. is yrz female in this universe? is he male? is he older than the main characters? is he younger? which sect is he living near? is his family nice or assholes? which version of the story is he in? the sssvs version or the actual original demon path novel (or whatever it’s been a while since i read the novel)??? does yrz get a system??? 

because the answers to those questions change the story drastically 

okay so lets do two versions 

one: it’s sssvs. yrz has a ‘background character system’ or something.  he’s gotta have a system otherwise he wouldn't get without a thousand li of cang qiang sect. so this systems chooses him (lets say he’s a guy in this universe) because its low key and yrz is low key and it was like hey lets be low key together!

lol system. 

lol. 

but the system and yrz get along pretty well, and they get into the peak they want -- which is Wan Jian peak, because if yrz can’t join the library peak because of Plot reasons, he’s going with hsi second love. Swords! plus i don’t think there are literally any named characters from the story, except the peak lord. 

so. timeline wise, i think that none of the peak-lords have ascended yet, so yrz does his natural thing --- he over performs and becomes the head disciple for wan jian peak  as consequence and it’s literally just in time for the former peak lords to ascend, so yrz is like. stuck. as a peak lord. 

both the system and yrz are horrified and confused as to how this happened. or, no, by then the system understands the Mistake it made in choosing yrz. on paper yrz is very unassuming! but in reality yrz has no chill. he’s never even heard of the concept of chill. he does everything at 110%.

I think that the bulk of this story takes place waaaay before the sssvs cannon, and lbh is sir not appearing in this fic. instead its -- liu qingge! and mu qingfang! both??? both is good! i think he meets lqg first, when he challenges yrz to a spar in the middle of a high stakes missing because lqg is a meathead jock at that age, and yrz is like. no? do your job? dumbass. (yrz has no idea who this shouty brat is, because the system is taking a nap. it wakes up and kicks itself for leaving yrz alone to do stuff.) yrz is older than lqg and kicks his ass because... well. because it’s hilarious really. so he gains a lqg shaped stalker. 

yrz has a lot of interest in both sparring and healing, and with lqg following him around, yrz spends a lot of time at the healing peak and meets mqf there. mqf gets a huge crush almost immediately but never said anything. it’s not surprising that yrz quickly bonds with these totally cool new disciples -- and then learns that both of the are the succeeding disciples for their peaks. oops. 

system gives up. 

version two: bing-ge edition! 

no system this time around and yrz stays far far away from the cang qiong. he joins a small sect to learn than fucks off to have adventures by himself as a rouge cultivator. so, male version again BUT yrz gets cursed or something and gets the ability to change gender at will because that’s funny and useful. also you know. porn world written by a “straight” guy. there are reasons for that kind of curse imma just gloss over. 

then the plot happens. all of immortal demon path’s many, many chapters are playing around in the background of yrz’s life, but she manages to stay out of it -- until one night yrz gets accidentally recruited by a cult dedicated to bringing down the evil demon lord lbh, because this cult has a book yrz is after. she ends up being used as bait for lbh (because he eats virgins now according to rumors. he’s up to wife number 249 by now so it’s not wrong !) 

yrz gets ‘saved’ by lbh, who’s kind of smirking and going ‘oh, no need to thank me, it was what anyone would have done,’ while totally expecting sex. yrz is like ‘oh, cool. bye then.’ and just. takes the book and leaves. 

lbh: *surprised pikachu face*

and by the time he registers no sex is going to be happening, yrz is long gone and enjoying her brand new book. 

after that, lbh and yrz end up seeing each other (mostly because lbh is trying to impress this woman and nothing is working) and yrz is like stop being a creep, i’m not interested in you. lbh needs to drink his respect woman juice and downsize on his harem a bit. yrz wouldn’t touch that with a twenty foot pool. 

anyway i think it comes to a head when they both get doused in pa pa pa juice and lbh is like oh this is more familiar, shall we? and yrz is like bitch. and goes to a brothel in the city instead. at this point yrz and lbh are more like antagonistic buddies than anything else. lbh has too many wives and zero friends. 

lbh starts developing some squishy feelings and is like what the fuck is this?? gross?? but he says nothing because he doesn’t get it. 

then the cross over happens, bing-ge vs bing-mei!!! and after than happens, yrz is just chilling at home and lbh shows up at her place like really fucked up and subdued. he’s like ‘why him? why did he get the good teacher? what did he do right?’ 

yrz is like... hm. emotions. ew. she trys anyway because she’s finally ready to admit that she does like this trash goblin at least a little. so she takes care of him while he’s being depressed. lbh cooks for her and she’s like. this is so fucking good. thank you. 

and lbh is just in love now. it’s nothing like he feels for his wives, but yrz makes lbh feels safe and accepted. it’s a comforting and comfortable love. yrz’s stupid little house is more of a home than lbh’s stupid palaces. 

look. i stand by the head cannon that all lbh wants is to be a househusband, no matter what version im talking about. 

lbh vanishes for a whole night. yrz is like hm, my house feels empty now. weird! and then lbh comes back and announces that he just divorced all his wives. he doesn’t want to be powerful anymore so can i stay herer with you. 

yrz is like... sure. 

and then there’s a long, long courtship and lbh marries yrz and archives his dream of just being fucking happy. the end!

[sandalaris]

001 Umbrella Academy and 003 Seth Gecko and 004 Buffyverse/Teen Wolf

Thanks @yossariandawn for sending this!

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Diego 💕 but Five is a close second.

Least Favorite character: Reginald! The only good thing I can say about him is that he brought the Hargreeves together. Oh, and I guess he did give Vanya her first violin. Still an awful guy though.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Not sure I have a full five, but in no particular order: Lila/Five, Diego/Vanya, Agnes/Hazel, Luther/Alison, and Five/Vanya

Character I find most attractive: Probably Ben, but Alison is a gorgeous close second.

Character I would marry: Maybe Diego? Possibly Klaus after season two if he could stay sober.

Character I would be best friends with: Probably Alison. I feel like she and I would get along well in that regard.

a random thought: I hope there’s not an apocalypse next season, and I hope the next time they do an apocalypse, it’s not because Vanya loses control of her powers but rather some other siblings who sets it off.

An unpopular opinion: Luther was just as messed up as the rest of his siblings by Reginald and deserves the same amount of understanding/forgiveness for his mistakes.

my canon OTP: Luther/Alison are such a cute couple

Non-canon OTP: Lila/Five came out of nowhere and grabbed my attention in both hands and demanded I pay it the respect it deserves :P

most badass character: Five

pairing I am not a fan of: I can’t really get behind Ben/Klaus. Most of the other ships I’m at least neutral on, but that one just isn’t for me.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I can’t say that they screwed her up yet, but if they magically bring the Handler back next season I think that’d be a major screw up on the writers back. Once I get, and I love the character, but they can’t keep killing her off and then bringing her back without the whole thing losing the impact it had the first time. (Now if they find a way to have her past self pop in now and again to make things sticky, I could be down for that, but I don’t want her back as a main antagonist again.)

favourite friendship: Ben and Klaus... which also might be why I don’t ship them romantically. They’re too much of a brOTP for me.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: all the little Hargreeves! :( And maybe Lila too, let them have more normal childhoods.

I did the Seth one last because it ended on a bunch of gifs

004 | send me 2 fandoms and I will give yo my crossover OTP

BtVS and TW aired at two such different times that I don’t think I’ve ever thought about crossover potential between them.

And since I couldn’t seem to think of an OTP, I went with three potential dynamics I wouldn’t mind exploring XD

Is it odd that I think there’s potential between Willow and Peter? There’d have to either be some history there, maybe they bonded in early school years. Or else Peter manipulated and pushed Willow, either because he saw her as an easy target or because he sensed the magic potential in her and was poking at it, to the point she snapped back. Once its established that there’s some hefty bite behind the fuzzy sweaters and nervous babble, he’d get curious. And curiosity would eventually lead to some kind of relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Peter would become weirdly protective over her, but not in a physical sense so much as a he speaks to her in a way that isn’t designed to provoke, and will glare/threaten those who he feels isn’t giving her the care she deserves.

I think I could also at least mildly ship Scott/Dawn for some reason. I don’t know why, but I feel like his puppiness and her sort of optimistic awkwardness could click. Plus he’d take the whole “I was a glowy blob of energy for most of my life” thing in stride. 

Oz, being BtVS’ primary werewolf, would have been great as a Just Passing Through wolf who runs into the Hale pack circa Derek’s keeps-turning-high school-students phase and who ends up sticking around for a bit. He’s not an official pack member, he likes his lone wolf status just fine, but he’s discovered quite a bit of harmonizing with his inner wolf and ways of controlling a shift that he ends up becoming kind of a much needed mentor. He also has a plethora of much needed supernatural knowledge and unlike Deaton, he’s willing to share.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you Seth Gecko

How I feel about this character: Sarcastic, grumpy asshole with selective morals! *heart eyes*

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Kate... that’s it, the whole list. No seriously, all the ship questions below have the exact same answer... Kate...

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Gecko Brothers are brOTP to the max. They are ride or die for each other and I love that they are such a package deal.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Not sure I have an unpopular opinion on him specifically. At least not one that I haven’t mentioned before, lol.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:  Whoops, almost missed this one. The show did a pretty good job at showing Seth’s journey, I’m not sure there’s anything I would change per say, but maybe getting to see a bit more of what was happening during the time between seasons. The Mexican Honeymoon and the Seth and Richie integrating into the culebra world, that sort of thing.

my het ship: SethKate 100%

my fem/slash ship: I really only ship him with Kate... so maybe Kade, the stubborn preacher’s son trying to hold his family together after the death of his mama when they’re family vacation gets hijacked by a couple bankrobbers trying to flee to Mexico.... and I actually remember seeing I think it was a gif set, but it might have just been some pics, of someone’s idea of a genderswapped Kate Fuller and now I’m trying to figure out the actor they used...

I’m kind of picturing this guy (only with a dye job and maybe some green contacts), but he’s got a more masculine version of Madison’s jaw and his nose, while not perfect (she’s got a pretty unique nose) is long and slender like hers, and his eyes have that sort of slight downward angle.

I found one other guy that might work, his mouth was spot on and his eyes were practically perfect, but his nose is all wrong, his look much edgier (although that could be easily changed), and his jaw/chin wasn’t quite right. He’s here if you‘re curious. :)

my OTP: SethKate... yeah, I’m pretty predictable :P

my OT3: I’ve at least enjoyed the occassional Seth/Kate/Richie fic, so that’d probably be the closet I have to an OT3 for Seth

my cross over ship: er... I’m not sure I’d put Seth with anyone else. Maybe for funsies I’d play with the idea of movie!Seth/show!Kate and/or show!Seth/movie!Kate, but that’d be as far into crossover territory I’d take him romantically.

my kink: I don’t know that I have a go-to one, but that little one sentence prompt where Seth tries to seduce Ms. Fuller? I really want to explore more of that. So student/teacher?

a head cannon fact: Seth, for all his rebellion and bluster and rudeness, doesn’t know it but he wants the approval of those he sees as father figures, to himself and others. With guys like Uncle Eddie it comes out as trying to please them, charm them, make them like him and find him worthy of their approval and praise. For others, like Jacob Fuller, who he thinks will never accept him, will always find see him as beneath him, he goes of his way to try and prove that he doesn’t want or need their acceptance, shoving it in their face at every turn.

my gender bend: Michelle Rodriguez is the first person I thought of. I wish I could find more pics of her in Seth approved outfits, but you’ll have to make due with what I did find :P

Now I’m picturing female!Seth and male!Kate (who will forever be Kade in my mind) during their Mexican Honeymoon and that tearful good-bye at the gate.

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange Part 5

Some paris update again with more Rogue shenanigans. Heads up, this is more a ‘i decided everyone can be complex and get along somewhat so im altering character dynamics from cannon to my prefrence’

When Marinette and Max and Nino ended up in Chloe’s class the trio made a simple pack on sight—aviod her at all costs.

Why?

Max is fairly certain Marinette is some type of meta. Fairly. She’s still the only person on his level close to his age, so he isnt saying anything.

Nino doesnt share this suspicion, but she’s close with Sabrina, who’s dad keeps checking in on him and Marinette’s family way more than the other stidents at Dupont. Nino doesnt like this, and by proxy, Chloe is horrible.

Marinette thinks Chloe and Sabrina could out her and aviods them to prevent this.

Their teacher sees this and decides to ignore the mandate to keep Max and Marinette And Chloe and Sabrina as science partners in every situation by switching things up.

Max hates working with Chloe—she keeps foddling and talking about fashion when its chemistry class. Focus on the lesson you heathen

Marinette works well with Sabrina (both organized) but she is extremely uncomfortabke with this as Raincomprix starts asking her for help on cases out in the open. Woth science and she has to fake not knowing about them. He takes forever to catch on that her mom doesnt know, and would be pissed if she knew.

Raincomprix then uses his daughter as an inbetween for his and marinette’s joint ‘solve the coldcase’ game. Sabrina gets involved to practice english and science, and finds out she’s good at finding overlooked clues.

As you can guess, this leads to Sabrina and Chloe joining the group.

Marinette and chloe talk fashion sometimes, Chloe critics her color pallettes and stitches. Also her choice to use rogues as inspiration becuase “arent they bad guys?”

“Eh? I think theyre just bad at getting the help they need.”

“Didnt joker kill people?”

“That was mostly mr. J. Easy mistake.”

“...okay...”

This curbs a decent amount of Chloe’s bullyign early on. Chloe is not borderline meta in this, just fixated on fashion to an insane degree—she knows everything about all aspects of the industry but cant design from scratch. Her mom looks down on her for this.

Chloe is also how the group know of ‘adrikins’ who is her prince and will marry her someday or be her forever family, uncertain which.

Alix gets along well with chloe as she needs someone to be salty with when Kim is being an idiot and Marinette is too nice and it goes over Max’s head and Nino is... there is some doubt if he’s scared of Kim or just really respects him.

Sabrina and Max cannot be left alone under any circumstances though. They will try to outsmart each other. Sabrina via legal things, Max via facts and trivia. Marinette is used as their buffer, much to her frustration as she does have designing to do guys!

Kim is showing signs of a crush. Marinette has not noticed as has a secret identity to keep, rogue family to manage from another country, other people’s secret identites to keep (she blames Tim.) so many languages to learn and practice and to top it off, friends to keep from killing each other during school. She has a lot on her plate, ok?

So that summer was more rogue sheneigans and dodging heroes while being herself and forcing her Father to cook with her—mostly Great Uncle Wang’s recipes.

“I am being bossed around by a child. In my own kitchen.”

“You were the one that claimed me as yours. I demand compensation in bonding time.”

“Uh, Mr. Smith was it? My neice suggested a aimple soup seeing as you are a... novice.”

This lead to an oddity for the Science Rogues—Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Strange and Riddler—getting into cooking wars. Only the RKC knew how and Not one of them would spill, only looking at Marinette who was smiling as she said “my great uncle did that!”

This also left the four with less plotting to destroy gotham time. It worked out for the most part.

If she got bored (and she does) she visits Ivy and helps out in the greenhouse or her the wayne’s gardens. Rose now has her own plants sprawling about gotham (marinette dropped fast grow seeds) so she can escape the Greenhouse and move about Gotham without mama bear Ivy trying to take over the city while looking for her teen-appearing child.

Frost was busy with college and so was Ghoul, so she hung out more with Puzzles due to proximity. Puzzles got it in his head to prank Hero Stalker and Batman. Marinette tried to talk him out of it, she did.

It failed. And somehow it was a night with Batgirl and Nightwing/old Robin trying to help Batman with his grief over the last robin who died. The new robin had yet to be revealed, but she noticed hero stalker was more motivated lately. She knew she couldnt stop him—he’s a year older than her and probably rich. (And she’s not supposed to exist...)

So Puzzles pretends to be Riddler and lures them into an old tv set. They were not expecting it to be a hideout for a gang.

And if Marinette was in an old Harley Quinn outfit with a hammer her size to match, well... disguise?

Harley realized what was happening when she checked the groupchat and no one knew where they pair was until Rose was pestered for a bit to have her plants check.

They went into a drug den and the batfam was with them. Fuck.

Puzzles and her get out of there when the realize what’s up. Why? Guns and not being invulnerable.

Marinette is worried though and hides and may hit one of the armed men hard enough to fly across the room.

Puzzles stares at her. She flies to tackle him and grumbles about sunlight messing with her meds again.

Nightwing caught that, realizes who knock off harley is, and guns for the kids. Only there are more goons now and—shit. Where did the kids go?

Batfam took down the gang.

Harley is seen in her car a few blocks away with... are those kids? It trends on social media that Harley has a daughter who’s grounded for messing amwith gangs.

The Council meets to scold Marinette and try to get the story straight.

Dent snorts when he finds out they were just going to silly string the batfam and slime them on camera. The camera was busted in the fight though...

Hero stalker freaks out about the whole thing and tells the pair off. “You almost died!”

“He said my dad was dumb! It was a matter of honor!”

Hero stalker is Done with Puzzles and tries to talk sense into Marinette, who says its her job to keep him from dying, ok?

Hero Stalker/Tim is upset but kind of gets it from watching Batman. Sometimes your partner does dumb things and you have to keep them safe y going along with the dumb thing.

Riddler puts them in a puzzle maze for a week. Marinette figures it out and goes in and out of it to make it look like she’s still trapped.

Strange rolls his eyes as yes, this is his daughter. Yes, she is smarter than Riddler.

Ed Nygma the other hand is keeping Puzzles grounded for another week. He lets Marinette visit to check up on his and Riddler’s states since they share a body and all.

Harley is still lecturing Marinette and gets her to agree shell at least tell Rose when something is up from then on.

Rose puts a plant on marinette. I am not joking, she puts a vine on marinette’s arm to keep her safe and make her take her meds since “you cant fly otherwise nets. And put in your earplugs!”

At somepoint there may be a case of music master making an appearance, but idk if it should be marinette is immune due to earplugs or marinette gets dragged into being seen by the league AND rogues at once and they bith try to grab a very freaked out Marinette who flies back to france where Max is mid-panic since she needs someone to talk to and uh, she figures he knows most of it so, help. She needs logic and hers is shot at the moment.

Next time we get more of a quick fic on marinette’s training with Zsasz as a kid.

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Chocolate Box 2021 Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but mods can contact me with any questions.

Elsinore | Fullmetal Alchemist | The Locked Tomb | Motherland: Fort Salem | Simoun

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity.

Requesting fic; open to art treats!

—

Fandom: Elsinore

Relationship(s): Hamlet & Ophelia; Hamlet & Horatio & Ophelia; Bernardo & Hamlet & Laertes & Ophelia

I found the friendships in this game, and the different ways that characters can reconcile or try to find a way forward together, to be really sweet and moving, and I'd love to read something that focused on those relationships of trust and support. I like how important Ophelia and Horatio's counsel and friendship is in timelines where Hamlet becomes king; I like Hamlet regretting how he behaved towards Ophelia and striving to live through his depression and find out what it is that he wants, not what everyone else wants of him; I like seeing childhood friends Bernardo and Laertes and Ophelia and Hamlet, whose growing-up has stretched them so far apart, taking time to catch up and enjoy each other's company a little.

So, futurefic in one of the timelines where everything doesn't go to shit? A timeline that we don't see? (There is something narratively interesting to me in Permanence/Passion in that the entire plot of Hamlet ends up as a distant backstory to someone's full life; I don't know how compatible that idea is with these requests, but if you want to write any of these groups fucking off to Italy or Constantinople or London and living until the Elsinore pressure-cooker is a distant memory, I'd be just as happy with that as with fic about them building some kind of future together still in Denmark, trying to make it better for its people and to hold on to who they are as individuals, and friends, beyond their roles.) If you want to write Hamlet/Ophelia, Hamlet/Horatio, or for that matter Horatio/Bernardo as shippy, I'm fine with that, but I don't want a focus on the romantic aspects of their relationship.

Fandom-Specific DNW: death of requested characters within the timeline being explored, or focus on death of requested characters. These characters die in this game a lot and I don't need you to pretend entirely that it's not a time loop game, but I would like them to be happy. If you write the Bernardo & Hamlet & Laertes & Ophelia request, I'm fine with either or both names/pronouns for Bernardo|Katherine, but I don't want to read a story focused on their gender or coming-out. Please don't include Peter Quince as a character (you do not need to retcon, you know, the existence of the time loop).

—

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Relationship(s): Maria Ross/Olivier Mira Armstrong

I'll admit: I am a shallow, shallow person who loves the heartwarming and id-satisfying Briggs loyalty-kink complex (The watch! Buccaneer handing Olivier a clean pair of gloves after she kills Raven! Constant and deeply sincere saluting! Olivier’s explanation of why she wants Miles around and her lack of patience for anyone’s shit) but would like an f/f manifestation of it for actual shipping. Post-canon or AU where Maria is assigned to Briggs, or works for Olivier in Central? Does Maria foil a plot against Olivier, or Olivier save Maria's life in battle? Does Olivier order Maria into a firefight? Hit me.

Fandom-Specific DNW: Olivier/men, even mentioned.

—

Fandom: The Locked Tomb

Relationship(s): Abigail Pent & Dulcinea Septimus; Gideon the First & Matthias Nonius

Dulcie and Nonius were two of my favorite additions to the cast in Harrow the Ninth (and Dulcie in "Doctor Sex" via letter). I loved everything we learned about Dulcie - her wit, her quick thinking in a pinch when confronted by Cytherea and her secret to Harrow. I found her "The only thing preventing me from being exactly who I wanted..." speech both genuinely moving and very funny, and I love her thirst for revenge. What else might she and Abigail Pent, "independent research? it isn't even my birthday!" daredevil spirit-talker par excellence who has just conjured up a ghost out of an epic poem, get up to after Harrow's bubble collapses? Or what were they up to when they weren't on screen in Harrow's dream, putting together this whole, well, play?

Nonius's arrival, entire scene, and departure to fight the Beast made me very, very happy on levels I have trouble explaining. It was so heartwarming?! Because it was impossible, and because poetry won, and because they went off to do the best they could...I don't know, exactly. I'd love to read either more about his mysterious past with Gideon the First, or about their second encounter as allies (throw in Marta, Ortus and Pro if you like as well!)

Fandom-Specific Exception: to my unrequested ships DNW, Dulcie/Cam & Dulcie/Pal. I love their three strand thing.

—

Fandom: Motherland: Fort Salem

Relationship(s): Abigail Bellweather/Raelle Collar

I fell hard for this show and Abigail/Raelle is the ship I’m most excited about - they get off to a bad start for all kinds of personal history reasons and have problems with each other, but when it gets down to the wire Abigail would do anything for Raelle and is very gung-ho about having Raelle’s unconventional but extremely powerful magic under her leadership, regardless of Raelle being a loose cannon. She told her she loved her!! <3 And by the end, Raelle also clearly knows what Abigail's going through (like when she talks her down in "Citydrop"), respects her leadership, and cares deeply about her and wants to protect her in return. I love that loyalty dynamic, and their competence as fighters/witches.

Physical combat, strength in general, magical strength, ability to work magic together, knowledge of the magical canon vs. out-of-the-box techniques...what parts of their skills and their bond could be challenged in the weird dimension that the end of season 1 leaves them in? Or when they get back home and new challenges await? (In my head, the decision not to send them to War College is not revoked; the unit becomes some kind of special-forces secret strike team rather than cannon fodder.) Maybe something where Raelle goes/has gone into a fight as a berserker-type for Abigail and then comes back to her, or where Abigail protects/has protected her soldier (her girl!! I love her protectiveness of Raelle towards the other cadets, imagine it in a battle!)? Or an arranged marriage AU where it's usual for witch soldiers to marry to combine their magic power or something...

I would also be up for smut for them, especially something d/s-y where the loyalty-kinky dynamic of Raelle being Abigail's weapon, at her command, is echoed in sex!

Fandom-Specific DNW: sex solely for magical purposes without an emotional connection (sex for magical purposes is fine), focus on Raylla (I don't need you to retcon it, but please don't dwell either on Raelle still having feelings for Scylla or on her getting over Scylla for Abigail), Scylla bashing, Abigail/Adil (I would prefer to imagine, if he is mentioned in the fic, that they’re just friends).

—

Fandom: Simoun

Relationship(s): Aer/Neviril; Aer/Neviril & Neviril/Paraietta; Aer/Neviril/Paraietta; Aer & Floef & Neviril & Paraietta & Rodoreamon & Vyuraf

Aer, and Aer/Neviril, really grew on me on my recent rewatch. I appreciated her more as the determined bit-of-a-loose-cannon, who grows into a respected role in the choir, than the manic pixie this time, and noted Neviril's comments about how she was drawn to Aer's determination. (I've written a lot more about what I love and am interested in about Neviril and the show in general, her journey of figuring out what it means to her exactly to lead an air force, here.) I'd love to know what happens to them post-canon - what is the "new world" and their travel in it like? It's an escape for them, sure, but what are they escaping to, not just from? Are there problems there, too?

I'd also be up for a poly situation where Neviril is involved with both Aer and Paraietta, her long-loyal second-in-command whom she's blessed and forgiven, as a V where they're friends or as a triangle where Aer and Paraietta are also involved (I don't quite know what that leg of the triangle would look like but I do like how they work together in battle even when they're shown as having personal issues.)

If Neviril and Aer make it back to the main world when war is brewing again, as at the end of the series, but their old cohort can't fly anymore, what do they see their role as being? Does Neviril see herself as a leader for peace, for war, for something else? How do they interact with their former squadmates, whether as part of a more plotty piece or not?

I could be interested in explicit fic for this canon, as an option - the series is, on some level, about the contrast between the reality and physicality of their bodies and the general perception of what they do (which even in its non-spiritual military capacity is removed from a connection to their bodies via the Simoun aircraft), about becoming an adult, and of course about gender.

Fandom-Specific DNW: I'm not really interested in Kaim and Alty and would prefer for them not to appear or for their backstory to come up. I would also not like to see pre-timeskip Dominuura/Limone.

[nightwing-has-found-his-dick]

The most annoying thing about Batman cannon is his relationship with his kids. Like, one writer will really value that bond with his children, and another will either ignore that they exist, or that they even matter to him. It's endlessly frustrating to go from The Wedding where Bruce's kids are all involved with him getting married, and are all actively happy for him and trying to help keep both him and Selina safe, to Dick getting shot, Jason being at odds with him again, and Tim being straight up slapped.

Damian and Tim are the only ones getting any recognition as his children, when he has a literal gaggle of them. Dick is the one person who knows him the best in the world, better than even Alfred, and he was practically "killed off" for shock factor and forgotten about. He's a beloved character, and has been for 80+ years. Give him the respect he's earned!

And poor, poor Tim! Why are DC so intent on making Bruce an abusive parent? It doesn't make him a complex, brooding man stricken by grief; it makes him an asshole and an abuser.

And now Jason's reverted back to "bad boy who does literally the opposite of what Bruce tells him", and I don't like it. What happened to all the "my best friend's dead, but at least I have my family to rely on" gone? Now he's just a mob boss on his own. At least Artemis and Bizarro might be coming back.

So, in conclusion, DC needs to step their pussy up and stop being afraid to show Batman as someone else other than a Selina Kyle fanboy whose life is over because he got altar dumped. The man's been sent back in time, killed, given amnesia, beaten, had his back broken, lost his children, and collectively suffered massively over almost 90 years of history; and yet Tom King wants me to believe that being rejected is more important to him than his oldest child and beloved companion being shot in the head and not remembering him at all? Sure...

Justice for Bat Dad, and those nice moments he used to spend with his kids. We just want him to tell them that he loves them, ok? Give us something.

[rabidfangirlteehee]

Harry Potter rewrite

A lot of the time when I look at fanfiction I kind of think of it as an alternative to read because the original exists. As in I don’t necessarily think Slytherin Harry is better than Griffindor Harry but because Harry is in Gryffindor in cannon Slytherin Harry is fun to explore.

So I started to wonder what would I change about canon if it couldn’t be changed back. If hypothetically I could change the story and what was originally there wouldn’t exist only this book series would exist. What would I do?

So first of all I would give Hermione an arc. There are characters that I think have good setups for arcs but weren’t fully explored. Hermione is one of them. She didn’t technically have an arc over the course of the series. She had an arc in the first book where she learnt that being a good student and clever and respectful of authority isn’t always the most important or valuable thing to be. But despite this her willingness to break the rules is still commented on as if its a big moment for her going against rules and authority. Sure Hermione isn’t the type to vocally sass authority figures like Harry or Ron. But she lit Snape on fire without a second thought in the first book. And has done something or another rebellious on her own accord in pretty much every book. Wouldn’t really say its an arc overall. Often it seems less like she grew or changed but rather you saw a side to her that didn’t exist. Which is fine. But since she does have a good set up for an arc I want to go with it.

Hermione is great but she’s not the best people person. She is usually bad at empathy she tries not to be but it leads her to be accidentally insensitive more so than other kids her age. This can be forgivable if you know where she’s coming from and are understanding of her as a person. But its hard to do that before you know that and kids aren’t always the most understanding bunch. So rather than becoming automatic best friends after the Troll incident what happens is that Harry Ron and Hermione get closer.

They still aren’t the trio yet but the duo with Hermione third wheeling. Her becoming closer to them is an arc with them slowly bonding more with shared experiences and realizing they have more in common than they thought. She is still more involved in their schemes than others but because she’s not automatic best friend she’s not always the one Harry and Ron go to. This also lends a way for Harry and Ron to get close to other students and bond with them too. 

Hermione in the meantime does struggle to get people to understand her better. She’s not the best at communicating her feelings and thoughts and sometimes just does things. She’s most usually right but maintaining relationships aren’t really about who was most right in a situation. But as they get to know her better despite the hiccups she learns to explain herself better and while she never gets the best people skills they grow to understand her better and appreciate her efforts and push others to do the same.

Secondly Draco and other Slytherins. Draco had sorta a redemption near the end by showing he really wasn’t into this Voldemort stuff, and by not telling Bellatrix about Harry in disguise. He also ends up marrying someone in canon whose views go against the views he was raised with and he embraces those views and rejects his parents views. So clearly the intention that he would change for the better but it wasn’t really explored and it happened so near the end it left less of an impact. This is also true for the not all Slytherins are evil idea. I think that was Rowling’s intention but showing good Slytherin’s happens too close to the end so it feels more like exceptions to the rule. So instead we can see moments where Harry sees Slytherins being good decent people and not bigots. So we can acknowledge while some are and they do have influence and power they aren’t all Slytherins or even necessarily most. So we can acknowledge the names of the ones who are bigots and the ones who aren’t the ones who aren’t can even help out Harry occasionally and make temporary groups with Harry for certain issues happening in school. Overtime while Draco maintains a rivilry with Harry you can see him back away from his bigoted beliefs in his behavior, the language he uses, and the friends he has even changing the minds of certain people who used to be bigoted. He might end up either running away from home in his summer over 5th year rather than joining the death eaters. This could also help him parallel Sirius. I personally see Draco in canon as what could have happened to Sirius had he not been exposed to people like James sooner. His exposure to ideas that challenged what he had known as true led him to question more things at an early age.  As a consequence of this Lucius is killed but he Narcissa and Draco discuss it beforehand. That staying is a bad idea that even though there may be consequences they will be fine but despite that Draco should leave. Draco is led to believe they will both survive. He is just a kid he wants to believe that he wants to trust in that so he does. But as they do this Narcissa and Lucius both know that at least one if not both of them will end up dead. Its not that Lucius suddenly decided everything Voldemort stood for was wrong but Voldemort was tyrannical and controlling enough that he didn’t want his son involved despite the fact that tensions were higher between them due to Draco’s beliefs conflicting with his own and that becoming more apparent. Perhaps it was because of that it felt more necessary with beliefs like that Draco was doomed by staying. 

So he ends up running away and when he does Dumbledore has him hide in Grimmauld place. While he might come back 5th year he may refuse to in his 6th year or very occasionally have to leave school due to close calls and hide out at Grimmauld place. To explore more of his similarities to Sirius, Sirius ends up living and mentoring both Harry and Draco somewhat in addition to finally becoming a free man. So he can still be an asset in book 6 and 7 as he survives the war ( as does Remus). Draco is devastated by the consequences of running away but stands by it as if he goes back now his father would have died for nothing.

Next would be Snape. Snape’s redemption in Harry’s eyes always bothered me because it seemed to just be because Snape loved Lilly. I mean perhaps that’s sympathetic. But its lets sympathetic if you consider that its the only reason he went against Voldemort. There is nothing to indicate that his beliefs changed at anypoint. Or that he resented the work he did for Voldemort. Only that he resented Voldemort for killing Lilly.  But to see him as truly sympathetic and to believe that he was redeemed in Harry’s eyes that change in beliefs is very important. 

Another thing that bothered me in the series was how the love potion was handled. It wasn’t explored much in story. But it did strike me as odd how casual everyone treated it when it effectively is just the imperius with a dose of infatuation and the imperius is framed as so awful. Actual incidents referring to people using it aren’t that common. Molly mentions using it casually Romilda Vane uses it and its mostly shown in a comedic light till Ron is poisoned. The only way it’s really shown with any importance is with Merope Gaunt.

Merope had a horrific life and wanted and escape. She had the means to use a love potion to make Tom Riddle Sr. be with her so she did. This is pretty much brainwashing. Dumbledore even said both the imperius and love potion were options and that Merope probably used love potion solely because it would have seemed more romantic to her. However what is focused on here is mostly the heartbreak she suffered after she realized the love she was getting wasn’t really loved and wanted the real thing having never received it. And once Tom Sr. rejected her she lost the will to live and refused to use magic. Her pain his highlighted while her victims feelings aren’t really considered at all. Which is a bit yikes. So I would put in a longer first chapter in book 4. It would begin with Tom Riddle Sr coming back after his random romance with this girl no one even knew really existed and people were surprised he eloped with. They weren’t surprised he broke things off with her they couldn’t even explain why he left with her in the first place. Neither could he. But people didn’t bring it up much. He seemed pretty disturbed by the whole relationship. He’d come back changed much less social and more neurotic. It was a weirdly dramatic shift people were sure she’d done something to him but no one could figure out what. He wouldn’t speak of it. He grew withdrawn outside of his family he only communicated with one person. The gardener Frank. He was always very kind to Frank they got along great. So people were horrified when Frank was arrested for killing the Riddle family. Even though he was released people believed he had done it. The shade being thrown wasn’t only for killing his employers who were prolific members of the community but for betraying a broken man who trusted him. After that the end of the chapter plays out similarly with Frank in his old age going to investigate the abandoned Manor coming across Voldemort and Pettigrew discussing the Triwizard cup and being killed by Voldemort.

The last huge arc I would add is Molly. Molly is an overprotective at times controlling Mother whose entire family is involved in a covert war and constantly worries about the death of her family members. Her arc can involve her understanding that she can’t protect her children forever realizing that by trying to keep them safe by being controlling she could push them into rebelling in very dangerous impulsive ways they may have not otherwise have considered.

So firstly Percy doesn’t side with Fudge he sides with Dumbledore. He is very eager of approval and recognition and acceptance from people who he respects. But he respects Dumbledore and his parents more than Fudge and has always been the good child the obedient one. 

Instead of him leaving the Twins leave after having a fight about the direction of their future. Despite the fact that Molly is no longer keen on the Ministry her trying to push them to be something they are not has had an impact. The last summer she did ruin the inventions they’d be working on all summer. That would be a very big deal I think at their age. And she has been against their aspirations which can weigh down on them At home the rest are acting out more.

The more freaked out Molly gets the more controlling she gets to keep the kids safe and fights to stop the younger ones( Ron and Ginny) from getting involved shes also nervous about Bill and Charlie getting involved and has some tension with Bill over Fleur. Harry also rejects her attempt to keep him from Order related information.

But eventually she realizes even in intense times she still cant protect them forever. And by talking to Sirius realizes that by trying to push them away she might make them rebel and do something real stupid. So she reconciles with Fred and George and supports all of her kids joining the fight even if she’s scared she thinks it’s a worthy cause. 

Percy dies and is the only one who didn’t rebel and didn’t push for independence instead pushing for recognition and appreciation from authority figures he respected rather than following his own wishes. So his death will weigh on her on her worst days. She wonders that unlike the rest of them what if he fought only to meet expectations? Its left ambiguous if her fears are founded or not.

I considered killing off Fred too.

If Fred also died she’d have to do her best to stop George from slipping into depression and get involved in the joke shop finally come to understand the twins while the fact that her stubbornness kept her from being able to show this understanding before Fred died would constantly eat away at her. And honestly I kinda just want to give Molly a break here typing this out is honestly making me really depressed. So just Percy not Fred.

Finally we get to the epilogue and romantic relationships. So my main thing with the epilogue was I cared less about who they ended up with or who their kids and more about what their lives were like .

So for Harry I always thought that him becoming the permanent Defense teacher at Hogwarts would be the biggest snub to Voldemort. Since he got to have Hogwarts as his home when Voldemort wanted to but couldn’t and got the position he wanted to and couldn’t. Plus after all that stuff with Voldemort maybe he’d want something peaceful. As for his romantic relationships.

Harry and Cho go out for longer but don’t workout because both just have too many things to work on but they do remain friends. Harry’s love life is left ambiguous you see several people he had chemistry with but it’s unknown who he’s with or if he’s with anyone. Harry and Ginny never become a thing.

Ron and Hermione however do become a couple Ron is an auror Hermione went into Magical Law. Ron with his desire to not be ordinary and ambitious nature chooses to stay as an Auror and doesn’t help out at the joke shop its not necessary anyway Fred is still alive.

The three have become closer friends with Draco and the non bigot slytherin kids he is friends with. You will see them bonding a lot book 5 onwards but Harry Ron and Hermione were still closer to each other than Draco and his friends. Draco becomes a healer who works at St. Mungo’s.

Bill and Fleur still end up together but not Lupin and Tonks.

Tonks like Lupin and Sirius also survives 

Lupin ends up moving in with Sirius permanently and are a confirmed couple. I always thought he and Tonks came out of nowhere and it seemed like their only function as a couple seemed like it was to die so there would be another orphan from the war at least to me. Plus Lupin seemed so hesitant to be with her. Sirius and Lupin on the other hand have a well established relationships lived together for a time period and give joint gifts. Plus I personally love that Draco gets character growth spurred on by them too. Sirius goes on to teach Transfiguration at Hogwarts after Mcgonnigal becomes headmistress ( she can’t do both and who better to teach it than a guy who became an unregistered animagus before he was 15 ). 

Hagrid retires from teaching to become specifically just the gameskeeper and Lupin takes the care of Magical creatures class. Even when he did teach Defense he seemed to have a tendency to explore magical creatures associated with dark arts. Once a month he is out of commission and when he is Charlie Weasely comes by to substitute as a side job.

As for next gen kids Bill and Fleur already have a couple kids in the epilogue but it takes place much earlier than when the canon epilogue does. So they are still very young and not old enough to go to Hogwarts yet. Hermione and Ron don’t have kids but Hermione has recently been very invested in this program about reaching out to magical children with non magical guardians to offer support  and recently they’ve started reaching out to magical orphanages. So its hinted that Ron and Hermione might end up adopting a magical kid.

The rest of the remaining couples and children remain unconfirmed.

Incidentally if I did add a random couple that came out of nowhere with no basis it would be Fred and Tonks who hooked up years after the series ended based on events you never get to see.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 75: Steven’s Birthday

“Looks like you stagnated there a little bit, buddy.”

My brother is nearly two years older than me, but due to his summer birthday we were only a grade apart in school. My sister is exactly two years and eight days younger than me. One of the many things you get as a middle child, particularly when the ages are so close together, is a sense of innate value in being slightly older.

There have been several moments in my post-high school life when, for various reasons, I’ve assumed that certain peers were older than me. Whenever I learn that these age impostors are actually younger, it rocks me to my core. I just have this semi-conscious deference to people who are a little bit older, and I swear my internal reaction to learning that I’m the older one is always “Well then why the hell was I respecting you so much?” 

I acknowledge that this is absurd, especially because I don’t expect that kind of deference from my younger peers (this could be due to my sister’s low tolerance for my BS, I dunno). In practice, I’m not even consciously nicer to people I think are older; as far as I’m aware, it’s all in my head. But there’s still a tiny sense of rank that comes with age order that I'm not sure I’ll ever shake.

This is all to say that I've never related more deeply with Connie Maheswaran than I do in Steven’s Birthday.

I mentioned in my post on Nightmare Hospital how much I appreciate the specifics we get on this show, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we first learn Steven and Connie’s exact ages (as well as Greg’s age at the time of Story for Steven) in another Connie-centric episode. The Gems don’t care about specifics, because they live so long that everything just kind of goes together. But humans—especially the kids in the audience—care a lot about detail, and this is ultimately an episode about Steven’s humanity.

And yeah, it’s weird that Steven is 14. Or rather, that he was 12 and 13 for as long as we’ve known him; considering Steven’s Birthday is after the second Beach-a-Palooza we’ve seen on this show, I assume he had another birthday that we didn’t get to see. If this kid was going to school, this show would be taking place from seventh through ninth grade. Yikes!

But this reaction is the point. We’re meant to be shocked. 14-year-olds tend not to act like Steven, for better (they tend to be savvier) and for worse (they tend to be terrified of earnestness and hide their insecurities with attitude sassier). Despite the character development we’ve seen from Steven, he’s still firmly in kid mode. Part of that is the realities of a show with set character designs (cue the fandom complaints about inconsistent sizes*); note that he still doesn’t physically grow until the time jump. But in-universe, it also has to do with a continued mindset that he’s pursuing equal footing with the Crystal Gems. If his life is defined by pursuit, he’ll never actually reach the goal.

*In regard to character sizes: I see characters like I see language. If you say a word that’s slang or dialectal, and someone fluent in that slang or dialect immediately understands you, then that’s a word, regardless of what a dictionary says. If I look at a character I’m familiar with and immediately recognize that character, then that’s the character. Moreover, there are characters in Steven Universe who care as much about size as the fandom, and spoiler alert, they’re the villains. 

As I’ve maintained since all the way back in Bubble Buddies, Connie is an agent of change. She’s Steven’s prompt to start growing up for real, and Steven’s Birthday has nice little nods to many of the ways they’ve developed together so far. They toast with durian juiceboxes, the same gross fruit drink that caused An Indirect Kiss. Greg offers Connie a ride home in the van, which is the bulk of Winter Forecast, and in that same ride Connie talks about the training with Pearl that began in Sworn to the Sword. There’s a big dancing scene a la Alone Together. Connie even broaches the possibility of skirting movie theater law, and despite retracting the suggestion, she was all about sneaking food in Lion 2: The Movie (her vision of Dogcopter in the stars is icing on that cookie cake). 

After Nightmare Hospital’s friendship episode, we jump right back to romantic subtext here. I don’t know too many platonic friends who slow dance until one does a vintage foot pop, or who assume they’ll be married when one of them is president, or who just blush this much in general. It makes a ton of sense to go for this angle in an episode about getting older, but more importantly, awww.

This is the first time subtle relationship angst has been introduced to their dynamic: unlike Connie freaking out about Steven’s family in Fusion Cuisine or Steven trying to ice Connie out in Full Disclosure, the tension between these two spends the whole episode simmering but never surfaces in a big way. It just manifests in awkward discomfort, which does manage to convince me that Steven is 14 now. While they don’t dwell on it too much, Connie is clearly more attracted to Tall Steven than Regular Steven, and I think he knows it. If you’re not a young teen already, imagine being a young teen again and knowing you could make your crush like you, but it caused physical pain. Yeah, not too surprising Steven goes for it.

(If you’re younger than a young teen, get off Tumblr right this instant and read a book. Love, a children’s librarian.)

On top of looking taller, Zach Callison drops closer to his regular speaking voice to complete the illusion of Steven’s growth; like companion episode Too Many Birthdays, he gets to show off a vocal range that Steven usually doesn’t have. While Too Many Birthdays does show that Steven has some control over his age, and didn’t actually have to stretch it out here, I like the implication that despite wanting to look older for Connie, he still doesn’t feel older quite yet. And he gets a nifty (if unsubtle) lesson about being himself at the end when his mature decision to stop altering himself is rewarded with his first puny facial hair. (As someone whose father could grow a full beard in high school but who himself had nothing but peach fuzz until after college, I feel you, Steven.)

Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff thread the needle on Connie, who has to balance the role of being a good friend against being the root of Steven’s body issues. She easily could’ve delved into Fusion Cuisine levels of unsympathetic, but it’s clear that her feelings about Steven’s appearance stem more from concern than anything else. Yes, she does like his taller form, but she never intentionally pressures him to maintain it, and accepts his regular form without question. She even wants to hang out with his baby form! I wouldn’t have even minded if her worry manifested in getting a little upset with him, as this would be a natural reaction to Steven’s condition and Connie isn’t perfect, but she cares more about who Steven is than what he looks like, which is just the kind of friend/crush he needs. 

Connie also gets a nice amount of bonding time with Greg, with an explicit reference to their roles as the most important human beings in Steven’s life that we got from We Need to Talk. I love how Greg’s doting fatherhood is something that Steven is probably still super into, but is only embarrassed by because Connie is around; he’s right at the cusp, but he’s still a kid. But through Greg’s interactions with Connie, we see that his Dad Mode isn’t restricted to goofy shows of affection, and he’s willing to get serious when a kid that isn’t even his is upset. Just as we could’ve had an episode where Connie was more of a jerk, Steven’s quiet abandonment of his cape and crown could’ve made for some painful interactions with Greg. I’m so glad that Abrams and Mitroff are content with how uncomfortable the core premise of the episode is and don’t feel the need to shove in additional drama.

Also, while it’s clear from the extended theme song and implied in other Greg episodes, this is the first in-show confirmation that Greg raised Steven on his own for a significant portion of his life. It comes with yet another callback, this time to Laser Light Cannon as we crank up Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart, and it’s heartwarming to think about those early days of Greg and Baby Steven in an episode that’s so focused on the question of Steven’s humanity. Three Gems and a Baby will show the sorts of challenges Greg actually faced, but it also reinforces what we learn here: that for all their cosmic wisdom, Steven needed a human to raise him first. Not even Garnet pulling faces can do what Greg does.

The method by which Steven adjusts his form turns Steven’s Birthday into something of an Amethyst Episode (I love how this show is willing to pick certain Gems to focus on even when all three are still background characters). Garnet and Pearl don’t have the body issues that Amethyst now shares with Steven, especially concerning the use of shapeshifting to combat a feeling that they’re too small. Amethyst introduces the concept while stretching to hang up a banner with a pointed caveat that she can’t stay stretched forever, and when she confronts him after catching his secret (aided by him helpfully stating aloud what his secret is), you get a sense that she knows all too well how much it hurts to try to permanently hold a bigger form. In a true Amethyst Episode, this might lead to a reveal that she once attempted what Steven’s doing now (which we do see a bit of in Reformed but not in the “stretching of a base form” sense), but here, it’s left to the imagination.

Amethyst also gets that great reveal as a car seat, which I can’t unsee now but was surprised by in my first viewing due to the focus on Connie and Greg. It’s not only a fun little joke, but it gives Greg a reason to have a baby seat handy. Considering he’s a hoarder and the barn is full of old junk, we could’ve seen a regular seat without comment, but the crew doesn’t waste the opportunity for a sight gag.

There is one missing thing from Steven’s Birthday that surprised me a little. Considering our last episode (which takes place mere hours before this one) was a story about, among other things, how Garnet met Rose, it’s interesting that nobody points out the other anniversary this day represents. Steven’s birth directly correlates with Rose’s death, but neither Greg nor the Gems (not even Pearl!) seem to care. This isn’t a criticism of the episode at all: Abrams and Mitroff wanted to tell a completely different story, and there’s no way to do justice to “Gems think about Rose’s death on Steven’s special day” without making that the focus of the episode. I just think it’s an intriguing indicator of the show’s priorities. Rose is important, but in the moment the Gems see Steven as more important, and that’s pretty neat.

Anyway, it’ll be a couple more seasons until Steven and Connie get another big dose of teen-specific angst with the devastating Breakup Arc, and I doubt it’s a coincidence that their reconciliation in Kevin Party comes with Steven’s pink button-down. Still, in retrospect, the awkwardness we see here primes us for a different relationship: Lapis and Peridot’s. The latter is awkwardness incarnate, and when we finally get to know the former outside of crisis mode, it turns out she’s a surly teen. Together, they sate the show’s new appetite for adolescent drama between Steven’s Birthday and Dewey Wins, culminating in Lapis dumping Peridot (because as I literally just said, the Breakup Arc is devastating).

Shifting the teen relationship to another duo is such a smart path for the show to take, because it lets us retain focus on Steven’s identity as a growing child without abandoning the new storytelling possibilities that Steven’s Birthday suggests. It’s not as if Steven doesn’t gain any maturity until Dewey Wins—Amethyst’s arc is all about how he’s more or less caught up with her, and she’s a bit of a surly teen herself—but there’s enough Gem drama at the moment that Steven and Connie’s relationship still works best without tremendous complications.

Future Vision!

Maybe Pearl doesn’t want to hold Baby Steven because of that time she almost killed him in Three Gems and a Baby?

Steven’s facial hair might not have many new appearances, but Jungle Moon teaches us that Stevonnie gets full stubble when they’re fused long enough. And we do see it briefly in Reunited, complete with the shaving kit that explains why it’s rarely on his face. Gotta keep that chin smooth!

If Steven’s entire look after the time jump counts, then this is pretty good foreshadowing.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Steven’s discomfort expands to the viewing experience as well, and while it’s good to portray awkwardness well in situations like these, I’m not huge on rewatching it. Also, I hit my major growth spurt between fifth and sixth grade (and by major I mean I was six feet tall in sixth grade and just stuck with that height), and you don’t grow that fast without some serious back aches, so this one doesn’t just bring an intentional cringe factor, but memories of acute physical pain.

But I mean sure besides that it’s pretty good.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[fugginnugget]

Lets Talk; Naruto Shippuden

So, I’ve been out of the fandom for a while; just sort of recovering from the terrible, hetero-normative ending that was shoved violently down my throat. I was upset; not just as a shipper, because that’s not reason enough to rile my feathers as much as this did, but because of the unlikeliness of how the series ended; because of how the message of the series got skewered and warped.

Allow me to explain myself; 

(Spoilers and personal opinions ahead, read at your own risk. All opinions are mine, and I’m not trying to force them down your throat. If you don’t agree, power to you.)

Lets start with Sasuke. 

Yes, as all of us fans starting out with the SasuNaru kisses and queerbaiting, at the beginning of the main series; Naruto, I was intrigued by the secrets this character held. However, following the series, his actions and the way he treated people led me to loose interest. The powerful pretty-boy with all the girls falling at his feet? Not my type. 

Further, as we got into Shippuden, the story shifted from childhood into teenage drama, and Sasuke’s character went down the toilet. Why do I think that? Because hatred can drive you to do stupid things; but it isn’t a force strong enough to cause the reactions and subsequent actions that Sasuke developed. No, that’s mental breakage, loss of control, obsession that’s gone too far. His ending? Getting the girl who he abused, mentally and physically? Never should have happened. Being accepted back into Konoha? Never should have happened. Having the happy ever after with the kids and smiles? Never. Shoul’ve. Happened. 

Lets look at why; 

Sasuke is a self-centered maniac who cast aside his village and comrades in order to exact revenge for a crime that’s origins he didn’t know. Furthermore, he regrets his entire life choices after the death of his brother because he was so focused on his obsessive, selfish need for revenge, that he never saw the truth. He allowed the reanimation disaster that started the third shinobi war, then had the fucking balls to go stop it like a hero. He doesn’t deserve what he got. 

Moving on; 

Sakura.

Sakura worked hard to get where she was at the end of the series. She mastered the 100 healings and succeeded in carrying on the will of fire and the spirit of Tsunade. She is the embodiment of female strength in the series, she is the heroine of the story, no matter how much of a selfish, shallow bitch she can be. Do I like her? No. Appreciate her presence in the series? No. I never saw her as the model woman. She was strong, but she was also selfish and greedy; the sort of feminist people hate. The one that wants the attention, the one that wants the respect without earning it. The one that lives off of the social obligations of others. She could never stand on her own. Her ending? It was what I would have expected from any romantic drama; she gets her man and lives happily ever after. It was a disappointment. She remained shallow and never learned from her mistakes, her sacrifices all led to her personal gain. I predicted her every reaction based off of all media written today; there was nothing special about her; nothing but the two men’s backs that she couldn’t reach. 

How about Hinata. 

This is a very sore subject for me, and as I’m writing this, the bitterness in my stomach is sloshing around and making me nauseous. Why? Because she was painted as the one person who acknowledged Naruto when he was a child, but she really wasn’t. Sure, she was a shy little girl who was weak and needed protecting, and her family was of high prestige, so when they dragged her away, it still counted. Right? Those times when she saw his true nature, when she disagreed with all the others, it counted right? No. Why would it? Naruto never heard that, never saw that. She never defended him outright, she never did anything that would make her a true candidate for his affection until she stood against pein to try and save him. And would that cause him to feel real affection towards her? The pain of seeing his comrade die in front of him, the one thing he had been trying to avoid? The girl who was weak, the one he had stood up for, fought for, defended. The one he tried so desperately to protect, because she didn’t deserve to be treated like him. Called a failure. But was that fight only for her? Was that reason only for her? No. Naruto defended everyone who was in position like his. Rock Lee, with his genius of hard work vs “true” genius. Gaara, when they worked together on missions, when they fought against the artisans, after he died at the hand of the akatsuki. No. His passion for defending “failures” is greater than Hinata. He didn’t pay her any special attention, never professed his love for her like he did Sakura. There was no real chemistry or even time to progress a relationship, and yet they marry. They have children, and Naruto neglects his son for work. It’s not logical, it doesn’t fit. 

Speaking on defense; 

Gaara was a character whose entire world, his life, his outlook, his emotions, his understanding was changed by Naruto. Naruto was the one person who was strong enough to defeat the Shukaku, the only person who truly defeated Gaara. He was the only person to understand how Gaara truly felt, understand what he had been through. Naruto was Gaara’s first love, to be blunt. Let’s be honest;  I ship this. Naruto and Gaara get each other, they understand, they protect each other cannonly throught the series. Gaara starts a war for Naruto, to protect Naruto; Naruto nearly beats Deidara to death with his own hands trying to save Gaara, expends his chakra to save Gaara, stands with Gaara as he recovers. IT DOESN'T”T HAVE TO BE ROMANTIC, BUT IT IS LOVE. This relationship wasn’t obsessive. This was the only “healthy” relationship in the series. They depended on eachother to the extent of life or death, they trusted eachother to the extent of life or death. In the infinite tsukoyomi, Gaara DREAMS OF NARUTO. It’s platonic, Naruto was his closest friend, even in his prefect dream of family and love. Naruto is still there. 

Now this isn’t to convince you to sail with me on my ship of existential crisis; no. This is only to show you another aspect of how Naruto’s ending was so full of holes. Where did this relationship go? Are they penpal’s who only see eachother at gokage summits? Is the love and trust and dependency that they shared somehow broken by the sudden relationship with Hinata? By the seat of Hokage?  It’s full of holes.

Now; Naruto.

What the fuck happened to Naruto. Where is the man that spent his who life fighting for his dreams, following his nindou, leading the people, protecting his village, his friends, his nakama. Where is the man who saved the world, the descendant of the Sage of Six paths? That man is not the one who would neglect his son. That man is not the one who is so bland at the end of the series. So aged, so... seasoned. Sure, there is experience; a lot of experience, but that level of seasoning is too salty for me. The wholesomeness of the series; that feeling of family and the necessity of protecting who you love. The message that Naruto represented is lost. The boldness of charging in on pure emotion, the need to protect, to defend, the need to end the cycle of hatred and sadness and war, to unite all ninja, to lead a people to happiness; where did that message go? Did it get lost in the building of romantic relationships? Lost in the merge between prestige and popularity? Did the duality of his existence suddenly dissipate? Did the righteous power he sought, he mastered, did it suddenly make him flat. Normal. Equal. 

The power Naruto wields is the power of the outcast. The power of understanding, empathy. The power of forgiveness, acceptance; Naruto is love. Naruto is light. It’s been established both verbally and artistically in both the anime and manga. It’s cannon. 

So then why?

Why the dissatisfying ending? Why the baseless romance? Why?

I’m not asking for you to join my crew, I’m only asking you to look at the holes in the story. If I had it my way; I wouldn’t have included romance. There would be no Boruto. The series would have ended a legend that narutards like me could worship; a sandbox of inspiration and freedom. The ending ruined this series for me, and it’s taken me a very long time to be able to watch it again. It can never have the respect I gave it again; because the message died with Shippuden. The inspiration dies with the bonds that were ended with no purpose. 

I can speculate, I can scorn, but I still don’t truly know. They say “It’s a shounen anime, there can’t be homosexuals”, “It’s not that kind of manga”. 

Fuck that, why does Homosexuality have to fall into specific genres? 

Why do those genres treat it as a kink, a obsession? It’s sexualized for sales to heterosexual women. 

Don’t tell me it wouldn’t sell, everyone knows it would.