#if I’m skinny I’ll just look chic tho

[coquettequeens-world]

maybe if i lose weight ill be able to wear whatever I want without being called a slut

[fucking-hell-skarsgard]

Paradise - Chapter Four

SMUT WARNING!!! There are blowjobs ahead. You have been warned!

September 24th, 2016 - Westminster, London

Eva P.O.V.

~~~~~~~~~~

After teasing Bill with the underwear I got dressed and brought the lot. We ordered an Uber home as I wasn’t cramming into the tube with all the bags. We were taking off our shoes with Ragnar going between Bill and me when Katie came down the stairs with a wash basket.

“Ah, perfect timing. The laundry’s all done and I was about to head off.”

“Thank you, Katie. Was Ragnar good?”

“He was an angel as always.” Katie handed the basket off to me and slipped her shoes and jacket on. “Don’t forget dinner’s in the oven, you just need to turn it on. Also, I’ll be in late tomorrow, because of my appointment.”

“Yes. Thank you for reminding me.”

She put her handbag on her shoulder,“Well Enjoy your evening, I’ll see you both tomorrow before you go.”

Bill and I both said goodbye to her.

“I’m going to put the shopping in my room and change into something comfy. Do you want to pick a film?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Bill headed into the lounge while I went the opposite way with Ragnar at my heel. He lay on the floor by the bed in my room happy to watch me work. I packed away the gift for my family into one of my suitcases. I just about fit the stuff in there. The other things needed sorting and I could do that tomorrow. Due to Katie doing the washing both Bill and I had clean clothes. I took mine out the basket and put them straight into my other case. I left Bill’s in the basket and would put it in his room on my way back. I took off my dress and bra, leaving just my panties on. I chose to go for silk pyjamas, they were a lot cooler in this heat. They weren’t normal pyjamas, I made most of them in the style of the 1920s lounging suit. Elegant, chic and sexy. But most importantly so bloody comfortable. I had to change before we went out later anyway. I also needed to pick my outfit for later, I had one in mind but I wasn’t set on it yet. I called for Bill. It didn’t take him long to appear at my door.

“Yeah?”

I peered around the wardrobe, “Shirt for later. What colour would you like”

Bill joined me and flicked through the shirts. “Why have you got so many men’s shirts?”

“From work. Not the film work my other job. I use them for many things; dresses, I can tailor them to fit me or they make very good gifts.”

Bill pulled out three shirts, a white one, a black one and a grey pinstripe one. “I like these three. But what do I wear them with?”

I nibbled on my lip and tried to think. “Do you have smart trousers in your case?”

“Yeah black ones.”

“Okay, not the black then, you’d look too much like Roman.” I took the black off him and put it back in the wardrobe.

I took the shirts off him, “Can you get them, please. I have an idea.”

Bill nodded and went to grab them from his room. I grabbed a waistcoat out of the wardrobe and two skinny ties, one black and the other maroon. I laid the two shirts on the bed, the grey shirt got the maroon tie where the white shirt got the waistcoat and black tie. Bill came in and handed me his trousers. I laid them on the bed under the shirts.

“Okay, take your pick.”

“How fancy is the bar?”

“Pretty Fancy. A lot of Celebs go there cause it’s private.”

“I’ll go white with waistcoat, it’s a bit fancier. Will the shirt fit.”

“Try it on.”

Bill pulled his t-shirt over his head and slipped the shirt on. It looked good on him. I checked the collar and sleeves to see if they were okay.

“Is it alright?” he asked trying not to move.

“Yeah, it’s not too bad. I might need to take it in a bit around the waist.”

“Can you do that?”

I rolled my eyes, “Did you just forget what my job is? It won’t take five minutes. Take it in the living room and I'll get my pins.”

He hooked the rest of the clothes over his arm and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Thank you.”

I grabbed his t-shirt and got my sewing case from my office. Ragnar stayed in my office laying by the open door to the terrace. In the living room, Bill was flicking through the TV channels while still wearing the shirt but with the buttons undone. I placed my case on the table and put Bill’s t-shirt on the sofa next to him.

“Okay shirt off please.”

Bill smirked and stood, taking the shirt off, “If you wanted to undress me I wouldn’t mind.”

I put my hand on his bare chest. “Woah boy my pussy cannot take any more.”

He laughed. I turned the shirt inside out and handed it back to him. He slipped it over his broad shoulders.

“Okay, how do I do the buttons up?”

“You don’t silly.” I pulled out my fabric pen and slid it behind my ear, I took my pincushion out of its box and looped it around my wrist. I used the pins in between the buttons to shut the front. I sat down on the coffee table in front of him.

“Before you make any dick sucking jokes remember I have extremely sharp shears in my case.”

“My lips are sealed.”

I used the pins to take in the side of the shirt and the pen to mark new darts in the back. It only took a couple of minutes to do. Once I was finished I took the pins out of the front so Bill could slip it off.

“Why don’t you put the kettle on and grab something to nibble on, while I run this through the machine.”

Bill slipped his t-shirt back on and kissed me. “Okay. Then we’ll watch a movie.”

I took the shirt and my case back to my office. It took seconds for me tho thread the machine with the right cotton. I managed to sew Bill’s shirt and press the seams in under ten minutes. When I was finished I hung the shirt on Bill’s door. I checked on Ragnar the other side of my desk.

“You staying there bud?”

He lifted his head and looked at me, then laid back down. There was no way for him to get over the edge of the terrace so I knew he’d be safe. He didn’t really like heat. In LA the house has air conditioning vents in the floor and at the bottom of the wall. So if he got too hot he’d lay by the vents. In this apartment, the air con units are in the ceiling and only in the living room and dining room because the floor to ceiling windows don’t open.

In the living room, Bill had made me a nest. He’d propped cushions up in one corner for me. The tray on the table had two cups of coffee and my favourite biscuits from the cupboard.

I sat down in my corner putting my feet in his lap. “I see you raided my cupboards.”

“I was looking and found these. I love them so much and I couldn’t help it.”

“I know. I asked Katie to make sure we had some.”

“Thanks. Oh, I found Deadpool, I haven’t seen it yet. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s cool.”

We drank our coffee and demolished the packet of biscuits between us. When the sex scene started I watched Bill’s face. A slight flush spread up his cheekbones. Halfway through he shuffled around, stretching his legs out. I moved my feet out of the way. He accidentally knocked against my feet and I could feel he was semi-hard in his jeans.

~~~~~~~~~~

Bill POV

The movie was good from the beginning. The sex scene was a bit of a shock. It reminded me of Eva and me when we were filming atomic blonde. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. Any moment long enough we were fucking. I could feel myself getting hard. I stretched my leg out and tried not to make it obvious. Eva's foot accidentally touched my crotch. She must have realised what she felt as she started rubbing me through my jeans with her foot.

“Are you okay… Sex scenes don’t normally make you hard.”

I coughed. “It reminded me of us during filming for atomic blonde. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”

She tilted her head back, exposing her neck. Just seeing her like that didn't help. When she was about to cum she always threw her head back exposing her neck for either bites or kisses, both tipped her over the edge.

“Oh, I remember that. The sex was fucking amazing.” Eva sighed.

“Do you remember the day in my trailer?”

She snorted, “Which one.”

“The one where you pinned me against the wall and went down on your knees.”

She got up, took her dressing gown off and straddled me. I rested my hands on her hips. She slowly started rocking against me. “You begged me to get you off. You were so worked up.”

I reset my head on the back of the sofa. “God baby you keep doing that I'm going to need you.”

She started trailing kisses down my neck. “My pussy is too sore to take any more. But I might get on my knees again. If you beg.”

I looked at her. Her pupils were blown. I knew she was enjoying this just as much as I was. “I need you please.”

She cockles her head to one side.“Hmm… not good enough.”

I tightened my hands on her hips. “Please touch me. Please, I need you.”

She removed my hands and climbed off my lap, onto the floor between my legs. She began to undo my jeans, I helped her get them off my legs. My boxers soon followed soon after. He dipped her head and started teasing me. I closed my eyes and relaxed at her touch. God, I had forgotten what heaven felt like.

I watched her bob up and down when I realised she was still fully clothed.

“Eva…”

She looked up at me not stopping.

“I want to feel you.”

She pulled away. She took her top off revealing her pert breasts and pierced nipples. She put her mouth back on my cock and kept looking up at me from beneath her lashes. I knew she liked being dominated, so did I. Most of the time we took it in turns. I guess it was one of the days where I was in charge.

I ran my fingertips across her shoulders following the pattern of her tattoo. I felt he shiver and she moaned around me. The vibrations felt so good. I thread one hand through her hair and lightly tugged on it waiting for her reaction. She moaned again and took me deeper. I held hair tighter, using it to control her movements.

She knew what she was doing, it didn't take me long to get close. I pulled her mouth off me.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me.”

She smirked up at me knowing that we were playing. “Yes, sir.”

I ran a finger across her cheek. She was turned on I could tell by the colour in her cheeks.

“I want you to swallow all of it.”

“Yes, sir.”

I didn't even have to pull her back to me. She carried on with new vigour. She knew just what to do to make me cum. All the small little things I like helped her finish me quicker. Some of her hair had escaped her bun, I brushed them away from her face. I could feel myself getting close. As per our rules, I let her know.

“I'm close.”

Hearing that she started sucking harder. She let go of me and took me all in her mouth, she used her fingers to run up and down my thighs.

I wanted to last longer but I couldn't. I felt my toes curl.

“Oh god.”

She tipped me over the edge.  I gripped onto her hair tighter as I came in her mouth. In after my orgasm passed she carried on sucking. It got too sensitive so I pulled her off me she smiled at me and wiped her chin.

“Better?”

“God I should punish you for that smart mouth.”

She stood using my legs for support. I heard her knees click in. I had forgotten that it most likely hurt her kneeling for that long.

She smiled down at me. “Keep that promise till later. Stay there I'll be back.”

I just closed my eyes and sunk into the sofa. All the stress from today had just melted away. Jacking off was always a good stress reliever, it turned into a brilliant one when it was a girls mouth getting you off.

I heard Eva come back around the sofa. I could feel her sit next to me. I watched her as she used a washcloth to clean me up. I twitched under her hand. She handed me my boxers off the floor and a pair of lounge pants from under her arm.

“They're mine but I'm sure they'll fit you. Do you want another coffee or beer?”

I pulled my boxers on, “Can I have tea please.”

Eva put her top back on and dressing gown over the top, she took the tray from the table and disappear into the kitchen. I put the trousers on and Eva was right, they did fit me. They were a hell lot more comfortable than jeans. Being with Eva for the last two days I feel like I'm living in a dream world. We get on really well, we live happily together like an old married couple. If Alida never messaged me again, I don't think I'd care. I had Eva back and that was all that mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eva POV

After making tea I went back to Bill in the living room. The temperature had dropped and Ragnar lay by his feet. He skipped the film back to where we had stopped watching it. I sat next to Bill this time, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his side. I grabbed a cushion and put it behind my back. We watched the rest of the movie snuggling on the sofa.

Once the movie was finished I checked the time it was just after half 4. Dinner would take 20 minutes to cook. Giving me plenty of time to have a bath and do some yoga before we had to leave.

Bill stretched. “So what's for dinner?”

“Katie made chicken margarita. And then I can make you some pasta but I'm having a salad.”

“I'm sorry chicken what?”

“Margarita. Like the pizza. Chicken breast stuffed with pesto covered in pasta and mozzarella.”

“That sounds amazing.”

“We can have dinner, then I'd like to have a bath and relax. You can do whatever you want.

“I can help with dinner.”

“Thanks, all that needs doing is pasta. You find something to watch I’ll get turn the oven on.”

I got everything ready in the kitchen; plates and cutlery, the pot for the pasta and the salad from the fridge. I felt arms wrap around my waist. Bill rested his head on my shoulder.

“Thank you for that.”

I shrugged, “I knew you’d never say no.”

Bill spun me around to face him. “I remember you telling me that kneeling hurts you. That’s why you don’t do it very often. So thank you.”

I gave him a quick kiss, “You can repay the favour later. Do you want to start the pasta.”

“I’m on it, chef.”

We talked about random things while preparing dinner. Bill mentioned that he was doing the Met Gala next year. I said I was thinking about going. He talked about his upcoming projects with such passion. When dinner was done we sat in the living room eating and watching shit on the telly. After lounging around till 5:30 we decided to move. Bill loaded the dishwasher while I started my bath.

I was laying with my back to the door so I didn’t see who came in. I thought it was Ragnar who had stayed with Bill. I sat up and looked over my shoulder. It wasn’t Ragnar it was Bill, standing in just his boxers. Without a word a slid forward. I saw his boxers get chucked on the pile of my clothes and felt him slid in behind me. Thankfully the bath was extra large, so both of us fit in the bath with no problem. I was 5 foot 10 and could lay flat along the bottom and my feet didn’t touch the end.

“So what time we leaving.”

“I was thinking about 9, it takes about 20 minutes to get there. I wanted some time alone together before my friends get there at 10.”

Bill was rubbing my shoulders easing out the knots. “Who’s going?”

“Some of the girls from uni and some people I’ve worked with. It’s not often we’re all in the same place at the same time anymore.”

“That’s cool.”

The warm bath relaxed my aching muscles and Bill’s chest made a good place to rest.

“What do you want to do while I’m getting ready?” I asked.

“I was thinking of taking Ragnar for a walk then get ready myself.”

“Thanks. He’ll like that.”

“Now relax and enjoy yourself.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Bill P.O.V.

It was 5 to Nine and Eva still wasn’t ready. I was lounging on her bed flicking through the TV waiting for her to come down from her dressing room. Ragnar was laying on the floor beside the bed, he was facing the door to the stairs knowing where his partner was. I checked my watch again.

“You know the uber will be here in a minute.” I hollered.

“There’s no need to shout.”

I turned and saw her, standing by the stairs. My heart stopped. I sat up and swung round to see her better. Shit, she looked beautiful, like a goddess. Her red curls were pinned to the back of her head but a few curls escaped their hold. She never did her makeup heavy and her lips were painted with a darker shade than her normal red. Her wine coloured velvet top matched her tiny handbag. A tight black skirt showed off her ample curves. On her feet she had heels on, the made her legs look even longer than they already were. She normally didn't wear heels because she was already quite tall. There weren't words to describe how gorgeous she looked. She stepped closer and did a little twirl. Her tights had a black seam running up the back disappearing up into her skirt.

She tilted her head and looked down at me. “So, so I look okay?”

I let out a shaky breath, “You look… perfect.”

She leaned down and whispered in my ear, “You look good enough to fuck.”

I felt a lump stick in my throat. “Don’t tempt me. I’m using most of my restraint not to have you right now.”

She smirked at me, “Then I did a good job.”

Eva’s phone beeped in her hand. “Oh! Uber’s here.”

She patted Ragnar on the head and I left the TV on for him. She held my hand on the way down and all the time in the uber. We pulled out outside an older looking bar. Eva hugged the doorman and spoke to him quickly. We were quickly ushered in, our coats were checked and I followed downstairs. The place was practically empty. There was a few members of staff and a few other people. Eva ordered two drinks for us and took a seat in the back corner. There was a raised area with privacy screens and comfy chairs. There was quiet jazz playing from the speakers. Eva sat down in the corner so no one could see us. I sat next to her.

“Is it normally this quiet?”

“Oh no. It’s a private night, only a few exclusive people.”

A tall man that wasn’t the barman came over with our drinks. Eva squealed practically jumped at him, the man only had enough time to slid the tray on the table.

“Oh, Leo I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too darling.”

Eva pulled back and gestured to me. “Leo, this is my Bill.”

I stood and shook his hand, “It’s lovely to meet you.”

“You too Bill. It’s nice to finally meet the man from all her stories.”

All three of us sat down. Eva had ordered a beer and three glasses of whiskey. I didn’t know which was mine. Leo placed a whiskey in front of all of us and the beer in front of me.

Eva leaned over, “I started you easy. Remember you’re flying tomorrow afternoon.”

Leo lifted his glass. “Here’s to a fun and naughty night.”

We all clinked glasses. I had no idea what was going on. It was nice seeing Eva let her hair down. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw her drink more than a pint or glass of wine.

I saw Leo look at me, then back to Eva. “You’re a wicked woman. You didn’t tell him what was happening did you?”

Eva blushed and ducked her head. “I kept chickening out.”

Leo stood and patted my arm. “She’s a little meanie. We’re empty because the show doesn’t start till 10. I have work to do so I'll see you later.”

I turned to Eva “What show?”

Eva placed a hand on my leg. “A burlesque show and I'm in it.”

I looked at her gobsmacked. “What?”

She swallowed the rest of her whiskey and reached for mine. “During filming the last couple of months, do you remember those Friday and Saturday nights I was busy..”

“Yeah. I just thought you didn’t want to hang out with me because of that day.”

“I wasn’t upset at you I was performing.”

“Okay...”

“It’s not something new Bill. I’ve been doing it before I met you in Hemlock.”

A memory clicked into place. Landon had taken me to a bar one night where there was a cabaret act. We sat at the back of the club in the VIP section watching the acts. Some were humorous, others were on the edge of becoming porn. Landon had teased me, to this day, about how I had fallen for the tall, blonde girl in a red dress that night. She reminded me of Jessica Rabbit, all curves and able to captivate everyone in the room. Landon was convinced it was a man in exceptional drag, because of the height. Her performance wasn’t trashy or a comedy piece, she didn’t even take her clothes off. She stood in the middle of the black stage and sang in her beautiful velvet voice. I looked at Eva and it hit me.

“The girl at Ruby’s, in the red dress… that was you.”

“It's surprising what a blonde wig and tattoo cover can do.”

Eva looked at her lap and fiddle with her glass. I pulled her chin up to look at me. Normally Eva wasn’t shy, so something was worrying her.

“What’s wrong.”

She licked her lips. “I was worried that if you found out what I did, you’d think differently of me. Some people don’t like it.”

“Oh, you idiot.” I pulled her face to me and kissed her. I didn't care about the lipstick. It was urgent and needing, Eva pulling me closer. A cough broke us apart.

There was a petite blonde holding hands with a slightly taller brunette. We pulled apart, Eva went to hug the two women while I checked my face for lipstick. Surprisingly there wasn’t any and Eva’s lips were still perfect.

She sat back down next to me. “Bill, This is Sam and Caroline they were my roommates during Uni.”

The brunette Sam shook my hand the blonde just waved and his behind the other woman.

Eva leaned and whispered. “Before you ask, yes they are lesbians. And yes I was the third wheel.”

Caroline leaned forward. “So how long have you got?”

Eva checked her watch, “about five minutes.”

Sam sipped her pint. “The others are at the bar. They’ll be here soon”

As she said that three more people entered the VIP area. Eva hugged and kissed all of them. “Girls this is my Bill. Bill these three are Joanna, Jenna, and Sophie. I went to school with them over here.”

The girls all smiled at me and one waved. The barman came through with all their drinks. The girls were talking about the show. I looked at Eva, she was fiddling with her nails. I placed my hand over hers. She looked up at me I knew she was nervous.

“Everything's going to be fine.”

“Yeah, but what if you..”

I cut her off. “Eva you never normally worry this much. When do you ever care about what people think.”

“But it's not just anyone, it's you.”

Before I could answer she saw the time on my watch.

“Shit I better go.” She leaned over and pecked me on the cheek. “I have to go backstage, I'm sorry to leave you with the girls. Tom should be here soon will you be alright?”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine. Good luck.”

She smiled at me. “Thanks, babe.” Eva took her handbag and wandered out onto the floor with a wave goodbye.

Sam turned to face me. “Okay, now she's gone. You have got to tell us about the time you to meet. Eva won’t tell us the story.”

I chuckled. That woman was a bloody scaredy cat sometimes. All the girls moved closer to hear the story. “It was during a fitting for Hemlock Grove. I was getting changed and no one had told Eva I was in there. She walked in on my totally naked.”

All the girls fell about laughing.

“I now know that she’s normally fine with nudity. But she just totally froze for a minute, then began to panic. While she was panicking she smacked herself with the door.

Joanna, Jenna, and Sophie told me stories of her when she was in boarding school. She was a little smarty pants with a naughty streak. If any of the mean girls picked on anyone, Eva would secretly get the mean girls back. One of them she changed one girl's moisturizer to one with fake tan. She walked around looking like an orange for a week. Sam and Caroline met Eva after her accident when she had to restart the year. Caroline has a chronic illness too so they were roommates in the special unit. Eva wasn’t big on the drinking or partying, but she was one for pranking people. If she knew of anyone with a problem, she was their woman. She was a little hellraiser. With ten minutes to spare a man walked into our booth.

“Sorry, I’m later everyone.”

I didn’t recognise him till he got closer to me. Eva’s Tom wasn’t just a random bloke, it was Tom fucking Hiddleston. I should have realised, she had a picture of the two of them when he was in his Loki costume during the filming of Thor. Tom sat in the empty chair between me and Caroline. He turned and smiled at me.

He held his hand out to me,“So you must be the man Eva always talks about.”

[spectrumscribe]

Can you tell me more about your tmnt crystal gems au? Like gem placement, headcanons, just whatever you feel like sharing! I really loved the fusion posts and I've been thinking about the AU a lot I lowkey (highkey) want to draw some fan art whenever you get around to telling us about the designs a bit! You're super talented keep up the awesome work!!

Hello! It took a while to get back to this bc I hadn’t quiteworked out the gems for everyone. I have now, though! Because you reminded meto, lmao. also if anyone wants to get technical about the meanings or whateverof the gems I picked please don’t, I’m a lowly fic writer and did minimalresearch and don’t care to get super deep about things, thanks.

Alright, so I wrote that one ficlet a while back about Donnieand April, and they were the only two I had for sure down with what gems theywere. (I’ll recap them tho, in case folks missed it.)

Donnie = Purple Pearl.(because of reasons.) Gem placement is his forehead.

April = Yellow(or was it gold?) Tourmaline. Gem placement is her hip.

Raph = Pyrope.Gem placement is the back of his right hand.

Leo = Blue Iolite.Gem placement is between his shoulder blades.

Mikey = Jasper.(like, similar to canon Jasper, but smol like Amethyst ended up.) Gem placementis his chest, also like Amethyst.

Casey =(tentatively, may change if I feel like it) Onyx. Gem placement is his leftpalm.

Splinter = Fireagate. Gem placement is the same as Mikey’s.

They essentially move from planet to planet once the whole crew is together and have interstellar travel once again, staying outside the range of the crumbling empire’s reach, but mostly hang out on one specific planet that’s got very little sentient life on it. Very relaxing for a collection of people who really need to calm down sometimes. except Casey who is raring to go any time all the time and needs to be stopped

And here’s some descriptions and stuff, because hell yes I’d love fanart pls and thank you:

Donnie: He is thelankiest fuckin Pearl you will ever meet, tall as hell and kind of maybeashamed of that. Like, garnet type tall or something. Red eyes, which stand outweirdly against his color scheme. He’s this pastel purple nightmare, and has along gauzy see-through skirt type deal with shorts underneath; you know, pearltype chic. Long hair, usually in a braid that goes to his midback. Coloring….Uh, probably pale purple for the shorts and shirt, lavender purple for theskirt, and dark purple for his shoes. They are ballet shoes. He will break yournose with said shoes if you antagonize him.

April: On theshort side, not overly big but pretty thick regardless. She was designed for war after all, not forcourt regality. Standard pants plus sleeveless shirt dealio. Something close toJasper’s in SU canon, but more yellow/orange color scheme. Her hair is likeTMNT canon, and her eyes are blue. (which has ~significance~ for reasons.)

Raph: short,stocky, power house build. Taller than Mikey by a small margin. Light reds anddark reds are his color scheme, with black boots. Hair is short and dark andspiky on top, p close to being a mohawk. Green eyes, bc it’s my AU I can dowhat I want. (his reason for being ‘wrong’ or whatever shall be revealedlater.)

Leo: a slimmerbuild than Raph, more appealing to the upper castes to look at and be around. (It’sall about appearances with court gems)He’s designed for both combat andaesthetic, would’ve been a high class guard, maybe even captain of said guard.(except the whole desolation of the empire happened and that didn’t work out) Darkblue and darker blue for his hair and skin, and purpley toned light blue forhis clothing; plus black shoes.  Navy blueeyes obvs speaking, and I imagine his hair to be very short. Close croppeddealio. (similarly to Raph, his reason for ‘wrongness’ will be revealed later)

Mikey: evenshorter than Raph, and the same type of power house build. Basically has thesame color scheme and Jasper in SU canon, though his hair is less flowy andmore curly. Kind of coily? If that makes sense. Blue eyes obvs, but other thanthat he resembles canon Jasper/Amethyst strongly. (y’all can probably guess hisbackstory already)

Splinter: tol. Holyfuck so tol. He was a general of sorts in the empire, and a very high rankingone at that. Body type is like his canon ratdad self, and his robe dealtranslates into this AU too. Honestly he just looks a lot like Hamato Yoshi didas a human. Same sort of dark red color scheme too. (bleh, boring, on to thenext one who is not)

Casey: skinnymotherfucker, about the same height as Donnie, and the most ‘metal’ gem to haveever come into existence. His clothing is a mess of whites and greys and black,mostly because he ended up coming out of the ground… kind of wrong? His gem hasa shard of foreign material in it, so while he’s still perfectly good in afight, he’s not entirely a gem and thus didn’t stick to the physical design hewas supposed to. He also popped out of the ground without a lick of knowledgeabout the empire, or gems, or even who the hell he was, so he never took thename Onyx. He’s always just been Casey, and he was raised up with verydifferent ideals than what other gems got.

Anyways. Bandanna boy looks like this scruffy skinny thing, andtends to change his outfit every time he regenerates. (which is often. because he’sCasey and he is always getting intotrouble.) dark grey skin, and black hair, etc. Canon him, but worse, because he can regenerate himselfand his weapons as many times as hewants. Cue endless chaos.

 —-

Uh, as for headcanons, I guess I’ll give an assortment ofrandom things I have in my head about this AU:

-Donnie doesn’t like sleeping. He says it feels weird and isuncomfortable with being unaware of his surroundings.

-Casey and Mikey are the only ones who eat food regularly. Everyoneelse either partakes on few occasions, or outright refuses because it’s gross.

-Leo has a vintage collection of sci-fi comics and books,and adores them, despite having… actually lived a sci-fi adventure… literallyhis whole life…

-how each of the boys, and then April, took their new nameshad to do with the books and bizarre timekeeping policies that came from adistant planet that Splinter found at one point and became taken with.

-Raph keeps pets, but not often, since he outlives them alland it feels like they die too quickly to make the pain worth it.

-when they found him, Mikey hadn’t ever met another gem. It was…an experience. For everyone involved.

-the first time Donnie met Leo and Raph, he kicked Raph hardenough he fell down a cliff. Then Leo too. That was also an experience foreveryone involved.

-gardening is a hobby everyone eventually gets involved in.Since the planet they spend the most time on is mostly uninhabited, they cancreate enormous gardens and come back in a few years to see how things haveprogressed. The perks of living extremely long lives, am I right?

-fusion is an iffy subject at first, because everyone isstill shaking off the old social ideals of the empire, but eventually itbecomes a very regular occurrence. The first ones to fuse are Leo and Mikey,because of a dire situation. I haven’t decided their fusion gem quite yet, but I’llget to it.

-no one is sure why Casey’s weapon is a hockey stick, or… all that clear on what that really is… but thatdoesn’t stop Casey from using it in battle. And during their down time. Andpretty much constantly.

-Donnie gets reunited with an old, dear friend at somepoint. It’s an important reunion, since this person helped him find theconfidence to own himself, and belong to no one.

-April’s past is something she keeps hidden for a longwhile, until they find a ship that has information in its mainframe about her,and what she was designed to do…

-sleeping piles happen multiple times, okay? Even if somemembers of the pile don’t actually sleep during it.

 —-

That’s about it for now. I should get back to this AU, sincea lot of it is really wholesome and full of friendship things, and a lot moreof it is about insecurities and hidden pasts and self-image issues. All things Iadore. :3c

[nanyoky]

I only have like two bottles from the dark days of college left and I’ll be damned if i take them with me when i move

are you fucking serious betty jesus christ poor kevin. he is a better friend than i.

this is honestly the creepiest most awkward thing ever is this supposed to be fun for us as an audience??? am i a prude?????????

okay “I’m.... shy...” was a great delivery

public will reading THAT’S what i’m talkin about

yes hal, divorcing your wife and daughter together like the latter is a relationship you can just opt out of is totally justified this is a totally normal reaction to life being messy

“You can’t divorce me, i DIVORCE YOU” alice cooper back on her bullshit. god bless ‘er

did we know archie knew about hiram owning pop’s? god they really need to work on focusing their plot breadcrumbs. i’m like not surprised or interested in anything anymore

i feel like the directors are just telling sprouse to act SUPER SHOOK and DRAMATIC regardless of what the scene is about and now it’s losing all effect which is a shame

tiny fat cooper bbs

yasss- penelope SNEERING at the idea of toni attending the will reading. cheryl lending toni an outfit while throwing out a rare compliment to someone else’s personal style.

god i hope we get a reveal of how both archie and veronica are plying things close to the chest so as to keep one another safe but i kinda doubt that’s what we’re gunna get

toni laughing at alice’s outburst is like the “take me or leave me” scene in rent where everyone’s reacting to maureen and joann’s Gay Antics(tm)

“this is riveting, i can’t breath” DID THEY JUST. Headcanon: joaquin told everyone the story of “Secrets and sins” and how funny his boyfriend is and so “this is riveting, i can’t breath” became like a meme amongst the teen serpents as like- the thing you say when someone is being laughably extra for zero reason and someone needs to break the tension

POP TATE BACKSTORY

i swear to god jughead if you go against pop’s wishes i will personally astral project myself into the fictional universe of this tv series and grab you by your skinny little throat and throw you in front of a train

“I feel it is my duty to say a few words.” of course you do cheryl. it’s not, but do go on

oh my fucking god. are they really doing this. is this really happening. a resurrection/secret twin plot? jesus h christ. see this is the kind of thing i would have loved if the quality of season one was still present, but as things are i’m just cringing

“Oh mumsy- i had the most frightful daymare.” ....fuck you i love cheryl’s shitty stilted performative psycho dialogue

“we could start our own version of the farm!” *betty face* same, bets, same.

like- we all know chic isn’t a blossom tho. they’re trying to make this mysterious but come on. he looks like a young blond skeet ulrich and we all know it

oh no- are they paralleling kevin catfishing chic to joaquin getting info on the sheriff from kevin in season one oh noooooooo that makes me so saddddd

“I’m brunching, archie, what do you want?” an icon in a time of strife

“I haven’t even gotten to the real talk, fred” MACKERS WOMEN. GODDAMN.

i hate this lodge-mob-family plot but it feels like there’s light at the end of the tunnel and it may end eventually here

oh god are we finally getting jughead finding out about the serpents and the drive in???? in all this mess of a season are we finally getting this high quality drama i’ve been waiting for???

.......and drama is subverted because apparently scenes in this episode can only last a total of ten seconds before another plot point comes up

ugg, chic

SMITHERSSSSSS IN BASICALLY THE EXACT UNIFORM WE LAST SAW HIM INNNNN!!!!

omg are they bringing back the uncomfortable dinner scenes from season one? that was these writers’ strong suite. 

Toni valiantly forging ahead with small talk in the face of the drama of the day draws her closely parallel to veronica. they should interact more

“LESBOS” WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DIALOGUE ANYMORE THEY’VE SWAPPED THE OUTRIGHT BAD DIALOGUE OF SEASON ONE IN FAVOR OF JUST PLAIN WEIRD

i feel like a failure for not pointing out sooner that his name is uncle claudius which is either just a lol and a wink, or foreshadowing- anything’s possible in season two

in any case, uncle claudius supports his gay neices so that’s nice

honestly the most unrealistic part of this season is that betty fully realizes polly is in a cult, but they just don’t talk about it cuz *~*she can make her own choices*~* like- this is betty cooper we’re talking about. no one is allowed to breath if it doesn’t fit her concept of JUSTICE. especially when it comes to the safety of her sister.

honestly they could cut from this to a shot of chic punting those babies into the river and i’d just nod and go “yup. checks out.” and play on my phone some more.

“war baby” is the most riverdale of gang member names

archie you did NOT just bring the dracula comparison into hiram’s study....

“riverdale will be crime free!” is this a plan to just blow it up because otherwise that’s a no. literally no one in this town is a law abiding citizen. i’m sure juniper and dagwood have already managed to steal a pack of cigarettes since they arrived

.....so she’s leaving the farm. with zero drama. because she’s not a character we’re even invested in anymore. kay.

....a privately owned prison. kay.

i mean- i like the implication that maybe it isn’t really “uncle claudius” but actual clifford pretending to be a new person- having probably killed the real deal to fake his own death. but. with everything else being so lame i’m having a hard time getting into it

i mean did anyone have any doubt that there was going to be some big parentage reveal with chic

..... are they seriously going to make a blood pact? what does he also get the secret password to the lodge family treehouse too?

sorry this turned into just me bitching instead of having a good time- i just miss my show

[straighttalkbn1-blog]

Why I'm Vegan: A Reason I'd Never Considered Before

By Milly Hailstone

As I sit here at my desk eating breadsticks I feel compelled to tell you my vegan story. It's not going to be your usual plant-based tale, because as usual, I’ll be taking a look at the surface, and what lurks below. Aside from being vegan for animals, our world, and my health, there’s another reason. But I'll begin with the basics.

 The Moral Side of My Food Choices

 Whenever there was a piece of an animal on my plate I felt guilty. I pulled this bag of guilt around me every day, propping it up at the dinner table next to me. I was raised to eat meat and consume dairy like most people. So, what changed?

After I discovered what really happens at slaughterhouses, and when I started to look past animals packaged up as 'food', I discovered an unsettling reality - mass killings of innocent, sentient beings.

 Then, I discovered that animal agriculture is destroying the world by accelerating global warming. And then, I discovered meat and dairy are ridiculously unhealthy and causes many diseases.

 So, I really had no choice. The taste of bacon is not better than death, destruction, or illness. (This is the perfect response to when some idiot says “bacon tho”.)

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It’s hilarious that veganism is called an extreme diet, when actually what’s extreme is mass killing, rainforest destruction, and poverty. Did you know there are enough grain and soy to feed the whole world? But, it gets fed to farm animals instead, which can only feed the few.

 The Psychological Side of My Food Choices

 When I dug a little deeper I discovered another reason.

 I’ve been a control freak all of my life, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned this on this blog. When I lose control, my mind becomes a frenzy, I have no self-control and stuff gets blurry. So, I make lists and plans and commit to living my life in a way that’s good for me. But, ya know, it’s not always been like this. You’ve read my How to Get Your Sh*t Together articles, right?

 I love to eat. I always have, and I grew up with my mum telling me, "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach!” Lucky, I also had a fast metabolism and love of sport which counteracted my love of grub.

 But, when I was a teenager something changed. I noticed the habits of my mum, she’s obsessed with being healthy and only eats just enough - she says that is all she needs because she is small.

 Then, there was the pressure from magazines - What is a bikini body? Did I have one? By this time, I’d been convinced by the media that I must look a certain way, and I felt destroyed when I looked in the mirror and saw different. Inside those glossy pages lurked something dark and destructive.

 What I saw wasn’t what other people saw. I saw flaws and stretch marks looking back at me - and yet to others, I was perfectly skinny. I think this was around the time of the Size 0 obsession. The heroin chic of the 90s, if you will.

I started calorie counting, I got addicted to the myfitnesspal app and limited my calorie intake to just 1,000 per day. Instead of hunger acting as an indicator that I needed to eat, I turned this feeling into a reward. If I felt hungry I knew I was doing it right.

 I had a friend who was on the apple diet. It wasn’t just me who this affected, it was my whole generation- the girls and the guys. Everyone was judging everyone, and we were brand new to social media - a place where others would (and still do) tear you down to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities.

 When I think back to these dieting days, I realize that I am vegan to stay in control. It’s a direct reflection of the way I used to limit myself around food. Am I trying to gain back control in this fast-paced world? Or does the limiting side of veganism mirror an unhealthy eating pattern I picked up in my teen years?

 In the gap between my fitness pal and veganism, I had little self-control. At 19, I went to uni unable to cook. I’m pretty sure half of my student loan was spent on Pizza Hut and McDonald's. Somewhere during this junk food diet, I found veganism for the first time. I didn't last though, as I just wasn't ready. I think I ate bread and potatoes for 2 weeks, then swiftly gave up.

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After Uni, I worked in restaurants where I had easy access to unhealthy food. With 12-hour shifts you often don’t have enough time to eat and while working at Wagamama I would only eat one meal per day - usually a plate of fried noodles or katsu curry. When you work long days on your feet, one meal isn’t enough.

 I needed order, and again veganism gave that to me - this time it stuck. I'd watched all the life-changing documentaries, and had enough emotion tied to this cause to make my life align with my new beliefs.

 While I maintain that it's one of the best decisions I've ever made, it's interesting that my reasoning behind it might be more than what's on the surface. Is veganism a way to validate to not eating certain kinds of food? Or, is it a healing process?

 It's safe to say I'm no longer counting calories or tracking every bite with a toxic app.  In fact, I'm feeling the healthiest I ever have - physically and mentally. Whether or not veganism has strange links to my unhealthy past, it's certainly a lifestyle filled with positivity.

 Fellow vegans, I'd love to know your story. If you'd like to write a guest post on the topic of veganism, please email me at milly@straighttalkbn1.com