#if I went to a fucking idk charity event or business conference
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Everyone. Literally just say everyone. It’s the only form of address that is all-inclusive without undermining the formality and respectfulness of the original “ladies and gentlemen”
Preferred alternative to ‘ladies and gentlemen’
#rant in tags#i know it’s harmless#but I’m really starting to get annoyed by this community’s insistence on having cutesy gimmicky sayings for everything#like I’m literally non-binary so I understand the desire for an inclusive form of address#and I love y’all#but please be normal#and reasonable#for once#if I went to a fucking idk charity event or business conference#and someone went onstage and opened their speech with ‘guys gals and non-binary pals’ or ‘fellow humans’ I would have instant disdain#that’s fine for YouTube videos and blog posts but it does not fit the kind of formal setting where one would use ‘ladies and gentlemen’#and as such they are not suitable replacements for the original phrase#poll
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imagine CEO kim seokjin.
you have the most handsome boss in all of creation, good luck.
first things first, kim seokjin is heir to one of the great business empires on his side of the planet.
for the moment though he’s just managing a few of the smaller branches as well as all the charities and his passion project, a moderately successful chain of restaurants.
you find work in one of these aforementioned branches, filling in as his secretary when his PA needs time off to care for their sick mother.
and he’s so stressed and busy he doesn’t even notice until around lunchtime when he bursts out of his office in a frenzy.
“assistant choi! you’re not assistant choi. where’s assistant choi?”
you remind him and he’s like “oops, i thought that was next week.”
because he can manage twelve charities and two businesses at once, he can clothe and feed himself because he’s a big boy, but he can’t organise anything. that’s what he needs you for.
also he can’t tie a tie properly.
he probably went to harvard business school, but he can’t tie a tie for shit. it’s always askew or crumpled or something, so you look knots up online because you’re just itching to fix it for him.
but you don’t actually approach him with the offer for a while, that would be inappropriate. instead you wait for him to tie it himself and ultimately fail, before you offer your help.
he accepts gratefully, and watches you concentrate in the agitating piece of cloth as if an angel just descended to save him from drowning.
later he admits that was when he knew he would fall in love with you.
and after that, whenever he has an important meeting to attend, you gotta fix his tie for him. it’s like ur lil ritual, and it helps him calm down and prepare.
sometimes he neglects to eat though.
like when he’s trying to stay on top of events and important paperwork and running back and forth between meetings and you start to wonder if you should be organising meals for him as well.
he works so hard you end up feeling like you can’t just leave him alone in his office even if the work day is technically over, so you sit around answering emails as you wait for him to dismiss you.
eventually you just Go For It and order a bunch of food in, not knowing what he likes, because you’re hungry too dangit.
so at like 7pm you knock softly and ask him is it okay if you bring him something to eat.
kim seokjin could cry at that moment, but also he’s like “wait, you’re still here? why are you still here?”
you recite him his dinner options and by the end he’s almost visibly drooling.
“that sound amazing, do i have to choose?”
“well, one of them was for me.”
“which one?”
“whichever you didn’t want.”
“can’t we just share all of it?”
and so you and your new boss end up sitting across from one another on his plush expensive carpet, and have a virtual take-out feast.
and you’re both exhausted so you know he’s killing it with the dad jokes and his windshield wiping laughter just makes everything ten times funnier. lbr you probably peed yourself a little.
it’s late when you finally leave, so he drives you home.
the drive is nice and quiet and before you know it you’ve fallen asleep.
also you don’t know this but he was parked outside your house for like ten minutes before he mustered up the courage to wake you, like “ok we’re here!!!! hahahaha,,ha,,,ha,,,,, ah”
weeks pass, and jin’s dad is constantly piling more responsibility on him, which means more branches, which means jin has to travel more, and he takes you with him because he’s useless without you.
and you two are just so comfortable around each other from the start ??
but more importantly you really enjoy one another’s company and are constantly drawn together.
so eventually, always eating room service together turns into always spending time in the same room, which turns into eventually only booking one room with separate beds.
because more money saved is more money to charity.
right?
right ????
and guess what.
eventually the hotel fucks up, but everything is so hectic you don’t even notice until it’s too late and you come back from a conference at night to find you only have one bed.
whoopsie daisy~
honestly though you’re both so exhausted because you flew in early that morning, jin falls asleep with all his clothes on and you don’t even care and pass out beside him like two minutes later.
when you wake however, he has shrugged out of his blazer and you’re snuggled up to him, head tucked beneath his chin, cheek pressed against his chest.
to save you the embarrassment he pretends he’s still asleep while you untangle yourself. but breakfast is still awkward as heck to say the least, and he lowkey won’t stop smiling to himself the entire time.
and every time you attend a charity event with him everyone assumes you’re dating because you’re always laughing together and they’re used to seeing him with assistant choi.
and one time he mishears someone asking if you’re his date and he says yes so you run with it and link your arm through his and call him pet names and he goes sO red and stutters and it’s worth all the death glares he sends you the rest of the night.
after that he’s kinda tense and weird and you end up apologising for your behaviour because that was very unprofessional of you and you crossed a line and you really need this job please don’t fire me.
and as you arrive back at the hotel he’s like “yeah, it’s cool, whatever, i need a drink.”
and you’re like “idk about you but there’s a minibar in my room.”
and he just stares at you until you realise what you’ve said and when you die of embarrassment he’s like “now we’re even. goodnight.”
eventually, one fateful evening back at the office, jin completely buckles under the weight of it all and you find him with his head in his hands, papers all over the floor.
he confesses to you how it’s all too much and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to keep everything together, especially as his responsibilities keep growing and without assistant choi around to help him out.
you spin his chair around to face you and sink down to his level, take his face in your hands and tell him firmly that he’s got this. it’s okay to doubt yourself and to crack under the pressure, but he’s got you and he’s got this and together you’re gonna kick this thing in the ass.
and he laughs and hold your hand, leans in a fraction but hesitates until you tell him he can also kiss you if he wants.
and he does.
he kisses you over and over and over until you have expensive carpet burns, wink wonk if you know what i mean.
anyway, nsfw under the cut.
your late nights at the office gets a lot later after that.
because oh bOY imagine gagging jin with his tie when he is being too vocal during his lunch break.
or him gagging you for that matter.
tbh his ties get a workout because he’s constantly getting distracted at work thinking of new and exciting ways to restrain you with it.
you two riling each other up all day.
like he’s got the blinds open and you walk in to drop off a file and just before you leave you lean in and tell him “i wish you would press me up against that glass right now, for everyone to see.”
he goes so red !!!!!!!!!!
and then you just drop the mic (or in this case a pen) and swagger out.
you guys could do this shit all day.
you’ll pretend to drop something so you can bend over for him, or spill something on him so you can lean over and grab him through his slacks.
or you’ll get handsy or even go down on him during a phone meeting, because just imagine the panic in his eyes when his voice cracks.
and he’ll walk right up behind you at your desk and pretend to look over the schedule with you while whispering the most sinful promises and vulgar compliments in your ear.
and sometimes, when he leaves his door open, he’ll just stare at you and take one hand slowly off his desk, and you just know he’s rubbing himself through his trousers and it drives you mad.
and finally, when the last person has left for the day you just fucking tear into each other like you trash his office i feel sorry for the cleaners.
but at the end of the day jin is soft and loving af.
he adores you and the way you’ll rub yourself eagerly against him on a slow sunday morning.
and he wants to take you to all the best restaurants, or just watch netflix and eat fast food, it doesn’t matter as long as he gets to go down on you at the end of the night.
he just thinks you’re really cute when you squirm.
and you just love to watch him flush.
and so you live happily ever after :’)
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