#if I had the energy and motivation I'd make this look better

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

I considered a second page (I still have a concept) but art block is hitting me sooo we'll just do this one. More Chikao & Nezha. Not sure how happy I am with it but meh it's still good and was fun so have

[v1rtualsalvat10n]

𓆩♡𓆪 for the first time

― luigi thinks of you in his cell. that's it that's the fic.

notes :: thank you for all the support to show my appreciation i would like to throw a rusty screwdriver into your hearts i love u guys!!

The thing they don't tell you about prison is that it's really cold.

No, seriously. It's really fucking cold, even here in NYC where it's already cold to begin with - it's like you're in the back of a deep freezer in a shitty jumpsuit, because you kind of are. It's cold enough that I have to curl up into a ball on my "bed", knees to my chest in order to try and stay warm.

And because I have nothing to do, I find myself staring at the white, emotionless wall, and doing that sort of thing is kind of a surefire way to get your mind to wander. One of the tried and true methods, if you will.

It's lonely here. Sure, the inmates like me, they're nice, but I mean... I'm not really in the mood to socialize with anyone. This whole ordeal has sucked the energy out of me. I've been being thrown around the country for days, ever since they found me.

I don't even want to think about what's happening outside of this place, either. I'm sure people have lots of thoughts and things to say about what I did.

I wonder if she saw it.

The news, I mean. Of course she saw it, who didn't? I bet her and all my old classmates and friends are probably talking about it, about me, what I'd done - right now. Trying to pick apart my motive, maybe grieving about the life I'd thrown away. Guess I had a lot ahead of me.

Can't help but wonder what she's thinking. I wonder if she's disappointed in me. Or maybe proud. Why am I thinking so much about what she thinks of me? It was one fling, from ages ago, I can't even remember when... at one of countless parties, and yet I still see how she looked underneath me so clearly.

It wasn't really just a fling. I talked to her about it - about how the system was falling apart (if it was ever together to begin with) and I felt the need to put all this privilege I'd been granted to good use. How I felt like I had to do something. She told me about herself, too, how she'd been fucked over time and time again and how she knew countless others who felt the same way.

Actually, yeah, we spent a lot of time together, thinking back on it. She'd come over on those cold winter nights I remember so fondly and we'd keep warm together, whatever way we could find. She was kind of... below me, I guess. Lower class. Not that I cared that much, though. Didn't make her any less of a lover.

And then I went radio silent. Then I figured out exactly what that thing I had to do was, and I put all my effort towards it. I didn't have time for love anymore. I had to take the chance I'd been given and fix things.

So I started leaving her on seen, stopped answering my door, even when she'd yell that she knew I was there, stopped showing up at the places I'd loved before, I stopped everything. Dropped off the map and left nothing but a ghost in my place.

She probably hates me.

I'd like to think that maybe this brings her solace... that maybe the idea that "it wasn't because you did something wrong" made her feel better, but I doubt it does.

When I get out of here, if I even do, she'll probably have forgotten all about me, because everybody forgets. I'll be old news by the time that day comes, and everything we did, everything we wanted to do - would just be a hazy memory.

I still remember seeing her for the first time. I remember the way her eyes pierced through my soul, and I remember how it made me feel inside.

I wonder if she remembers that too.

[fanged-fanfics]

Hello! Would you consider writing about Optimus comforting a depressed f reader? I'm extra emotional and having the sads for no (apparent) reason and I think cuddles from a giant softie would fix me. Thank you!

☆ Someone On Your Side — Optimus x Fem Reader Fic ☆

Genre: Hurt/Comfort || she/her pronouns for reader || Warning for themes of depression/lack of self care

──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────

You honestly couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten out properly. Living at the Autobot base meant there was always a task or mission going on, so you had a lot of space to yourself. Even if the makeshift little room they gave you wasn't perfect, they tried their best to make a habsuite fitting for a human. The bed was a little too big and the furniture was a bit too spaced apart or not fully straight, but the effort was what mattered. You got accustomed to the surroundings after spending so much time there anyhow. It was hard to go out these days, and you didn't feel any motivation to take any invitations the 'Bots had given you. You were curled up in your bed, attempting to rest up the mental energy, when you heard a little knock at your door.

"Come in" you called tiredly, and the metal doors slid open. A tall, broad figure entered, you could hear metal pedesteps on the floor that approached you. A large servo very gently nudged you over so a heavy weight could sit beside you. You leaned your head up, seeing Optimus Prime himself. He made sure the doors closed back automatically before speaking. "Human. It came to my attention that you've been a rare sight around the base these days" he began gently. You sighed as you sat up a little "Oh, sorry if I worried you guys.. I haven't really been feeling myself lately". Optimus gave a thoughtful nod, "Have your rations spoiled? Is your berth not clean? I've tried to help the Autobots keep track of-"

"No, uh- it's nothing like that" you gently interrupted. Optimus' optics looked at you with concern. He reached a servo out, moving slowly and carefully as he did his best to pet your shoulder. "We're worried for you, human" Optimus said softly "Are you sick?". "No, Op, I'm- I'm sorry, I just- can't be out and about like I usually am" you said "I need some time". Optimus made a soft humming noise, reaching his servo down to tuck your blankets around you better. "I see. Then rest well, human. You will rise and do great things, in due time. I and the Autobots are here if you require anything" he said softly.

"Thanks, Prime" you said gently. You thought it over for a second before adding, "I do have.. one request, if that's okay?". Optimus' helm points perked up, listening intently "Anything". "Can you maybe... stay with me a bit? I know you're busy, but- I'd like the company" you asked, a little hesitantly. "Of course" Optimus said, motioning for you to make room. He waited until you shifted comfortably before laying behind you, his large arm wrapping loosely around your proximity and pulling you as softly as possible to his chassis. His battlemask slid open, and he rested his helm beside your head.

"Don't be discouraged, little spark" he said softly as you snuggled in "Even I have these moments, you know. No warrior is meant to fight restlessly". "Is that one of your many wise sayings?" You asked, and Optimus found himself smiling at the humor in your words. "It can be. I've millions of years of them to share" he said. You huffed a small chuckle, closing your eyes as his engine purred softly behind you. "If I may..." Optimus began softly, his nose gently nudging you in a tender nuzzle "I'll be happy to monitor your food intake and recharge habits. I know you've mentioned they haven't been the greatest, as of late". You hummed a bit as you thought over the offer. "Not a bad idea, honestly. Can I sleep on it?". Optimus nodded "Granted, of course"

You felt fatigue settle in your figure slowly, your mind finally feeling safe enough to nap. Optimus' rumbling system provided great background noise for you to rest against. You pressed more into his chassis, curling up the best you could while he used a servo to support your back. You sighed contently as you let your eyes fall shut, hearing melodious and deep humming as you began to drift off.

[midnight-mourning]

Sneaky Santa

❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 10❄️❄️

cooked this up last night for y'all, but waited to post to make sure it was actually coherent lmao, anywho, hope you enjoy! Edit: reviewed this morning and chat 2 am midnight was cookinggg

Prompt: ok ok i have a pretty vague idea that i really love. y/n would be a burglar who breaks into the pizzaplex on christmas eve/day (cos no one wants to work at christmas time, so there should be minimal security, right?..). but they quickly sense they are not alone and dca interaction ensues :') i feel like you could go different ways with this, full chase sequence, or just witty banter with the dca. you can play with around the y/n's motives for committing theft/breaking in. i'd love to see what you cook up :D

Word Count: 2630

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The side door opens with a click, and as it creaks ajar, you can't help the grin that splits your face. Success, and after 15 minutes of fumbling in the cold, you're more than happy to finally get inside. And get to work, for that matter. 

You shove your kit back into your pocket, and adjust your mask. Slinking inside, it's as quiet and dead as you hoped. Even the cameras, which you'd think they'd bother to power on for this very reason, don't seem to be active. All the better for you, really. 

Still, you proceed with caution, while the place is more than dead in terms of human staff, there are some bots lingering about. From the last time you were in here you think they were just called S.T.A.F.F. bots? Doesn't matter, you didn't need to take any chances. 

You keep to the shadowy parts of the building, making your way to your first stop; Chica's gift shop. You make quick work, grabbing the limited edition kids jewelry set, and a plush or two for good measure. You make similar stops throughout, a makeup set and costume from Roxy's, a gator golf mini club set, a microphone signed by Freddy himself. Not to mention again, anything else you can grab your hands on. 

You wanted this trip to count, if you were going to be doing something illegal, might as well go all out, yeah? 

You won't deny, it had been a bit of an inner conflict for you at first. You had morals, stealing was wrong and all that jazz. However, stealing from a multi-million dollar corporation who wouldn't even notice the teeny-tiny little dent you've made in their merchandise? Yes, still wrong, but surely not nearly as bad. At least, that's what you tell yourself. 

You glance briefly at the list in your hand, and the map in the other, as you chow down on a cupcake you swiped earlier. You're sitting on a railing overlooking the atrium, the area quiet enough to not draw any attention. Though, still so far so good from what you've been able to tell.

None of the main attractions have been out and about, and if you had to guess, they were either doing their own thing in their rooms—which, an odd but endearing thought to have—or they were simply powered down to conserve energy over the holidays. Regardless, you're able to check off the locations on your map, and the items on your list in an easy peace. 

As luck would have it, you're well ahead of schedule. Only an hour or so in and you're already down to your last location. Circled in red marker and starred; Lucky Stars Gift Shop. 

You'd saved it for last because it was one of the trickier ones to get to. But, with how easy the rest of the night has been, you'd argue it's well worth the risk at this point. While your haul was more than enough, you knew that if you could score there, you'd be set. 

So, finishing your cupcake with a wipe of your shirt sleeve, your off. 

When you arrive, much like all the other locations, the door is thankfully unlocked. You slip inside, and set to work. You were looking once more for a specific item in particular, in this case as set of pajamas. Smalls, along with a pair of matching nightlights if you could find them. 

You find the pjs soon enough, stuffing them in with the rest of your haul. It was starting to get heavy now, and you truly looked the part of a burglar with your big canvas sack. To be fair, it wasn't like you could fit all this in your backpack. Even though you'd foolishly considered it for a brief moment. 

The nightlights are a harder find, not anywhere within easy sight among the toys and stuffies scattered throughout the darkened shop. To be safe though, you swipe a few of those as well. 

You finally spot your prize while doing a sweep over the entire place, both set up on a high shelf behind the counter. You puff out your cheeks, of course they just had to be there of all places.

You shake your head, no matter. You weren't leaving without those nightlights. Especially after catching the sight of the price when trying to order online. Just for merch for the Daycare Attendant of all things. 

Setting down your bag, you start to climb onto the counter, swaying slightly in your rush. You lean over the gap behind the counter and the shelf, finding that you just barely can't reach.

You grit your teeth, and lean further, doing your best to keep your feet steady. When your hand makes contact with a box, you internally cheer. Quickly, you grip it, and the other while you're at it. 

You struggle to contain your excitement, giggling to yourself as you step fully back onto the counter with your goods. 

"Well now, what do we have here?"

"Something of a thief, by the looks of it." The voice turns darker, chuckling. "And not a very clever one, at that."

You freeze then, but keep calm. You were too close now. You weren't expecting any guards at this point, but certainly you could handle these two, you've come too far to not try, anyway. 

You turn, tone smooth. "Well, that's not very nice. I think I've been doing pretty good so far—" The words die on your tongue when you realize that the person behind you are in fact, one bot. One of the very bots that strongly resembled the ceramic copies in your hands.

The blue and white animatronic tilts his head at you, red eyes narrowed. Moon, from what you already know.

"You were saying?" He asks. 

Initial shock gone, you shake your head, huffing as you hop down from the counter. "I believe I've done pretty well so far, not to toot my own horn or anything. And with these, I'll be more than happy to get out of your hair. Or, whatever the equivalent is for you, I suppose." You stuff the nightlights in your bag, head held high. 

"Is that so? You'll just walk on out of here, without a bit of confrontation or trouble?" The naptime attendant sounds more amused than anything, so you'll keep trying your luck. 

You shrug. "Well yes, I really would rather not be a burden on you. Would hate to be the cause of disruption so close to the holidays. Consider it a gesture of the heart." You put your hand to your chest, bowing slightly. 

"Gesture of the heart—" Moon laughs then, hard. 

You take the chance to slip by him, crossing your arms as you lean against a clothes rack. "Something the matter? I'll have you know I mean what I say, especially to a pretty face."

"A pretty, pretty face?" He asks between chuckles. The bot pretends to wipe a tear. "My, you're a curious little thief aren't you?"

You wink. "I like to keep things exciting. No need for unnecessary tension and all that, you know? And if I wasn't on the job, well, I'd be using more than just my words, let's say that."

You're almost to the door now, hand ghosting over the handle. If you can get a head start, you'll surely make it. Unfortunately, you're not so lucky. 

"Well, I'm afraid to disappoint, but I believe tension is all I have to offer, you Star. I hope you'll understand."

You keep your eyes locked on each other for a moment more. Then, as he launches toward you, you rip open the door, running out into the light again. 

As you're running, you hear a voice call out behind you. "What? You're not going to try to woo me too? Am I good enough for you, Sunshine?"

"Of course you are!" You say back. "I just figured a change of scenery would do us some good, is all."

You find you have no other choice but to enter the Daycare itself. Certainly not your favorite option, but you can hear the playtime attendant gaining on your fast. You'll have to fake him out in here and hope for the best. 

He chuckles. "How kind of you! So tell me, what's convinced you this was a good idea, friend? You have me oh so curious."

"Ah, I wouldn't want to bore you with all the details." You wave your hand, then jump to climb one of the playset walls. "That's much less fun. Instead, tell me about yourself? You come here often?"

You hear him close behind, just missing at swiping your leg in his grasp. "Well, I live here, so as it would turn out, yes! You seem too familiar with the layout yourself, Starshine."

"What makes you think that?" You scoff. Though, you can't say he's wrong, you're just hoping the mask is enough to keep your identity a secret. Would hate to be banned now. 

You stare down at him, head in your hands as Sun stares up at you, rays flicking and eyes narrowed. "We got a peak at your little collection. You're well aware of what's the priciest items here! That's something that takes time, and planning."

"Aw, why thank you! If I wasn't preoccupied, I would return that compliment with more than just verbal appreciation."

He leans against the playset, gaze focused on you. "You could always try."

You grin, and for the briefest of seconds consider the offer, then shake your head. 

"Ah, I would. But I've got no guarantees it won't turn sour, in the end." You tsk drearily. "I'm afraid our love must stay as it is. Treasured from afar in secrecy. Surely you understand, no?"

 Sun nods, hand going to his faceplate just as dramatically. "Oh course, how foolish of me to consider such. If only—Hey! That's cheating!"

You snicker to yourself as you race across the playset. "I'm sorry, my dear! But time is of the essence. Perhaps another time I can listen to your sweet nothings—"

You slip, foot catching the wrong side of the plastic bridge. Your eyes widen as you begin to fall, then squeeze shut as you brace for impact. 

It doesn't come, instead, you find yourself in a reassuring grip. Peeking an eye open, you find Sun staring down at you, concern evident in his eyes. 

Your breathing is heavy as you wait for him to do something, anything. 

"I know those eyes." He says in the quiet. "It's you."

Ah, shit. 

In a state of utter defeat, and total shock, you wind up bound in a spare set of jump ropes, sat in one of the tiny chairs for good measure. 

Meanwhile, Sun is pacing the back and forth in front of you, speaking in a one-sided conversation to his counterpart. 

"But why, surely there's no reason for them to have been—"

"I know, I know. It's wrong, but that doesn't, no, no you're right."

"What if we, it might work. I just don't want to—" He turns to stare at you, then shakes his head.

You sigh. This blows. You'd spent so long planning this out, and now you're about to lose everything. Unless, you can convince them that you really meant no major harm. 

"Listen. I know this looks, bad. But I can explain!"

The bot turns to you then, curious, but suspicious. You don't blame him. 

Your head hangs low, guilt sinking in in that moment. "Look, money's tight. Really tight. Why do you think I come here to get daycare services? It's dirt cheap, you know. And, and the kids were just so excited for Christmas this year, I saw an opportunity and I just,"—You shake your head—"I'm not proud, at all. I just, wanted to give them something nice, you know? That's the honest truth. So, before you turn me in, please, just give me a chance. You can take everything back, but please let me walk out of here tonight. I, I won't come back, I'll find other arrangements, just please, please don't tell anyone about this."

You wait for him to start laughing at you, you expect it even. Even if it was the truth, it was still a ridiculous notion. All this for the sake of some toys? God, imagine what the cops are going to say when the get a load of this—

The jump ropes keeping you tied up suddenly loosen. 

Looking up, you see Sun's gaze is on you, unreadable in that moment. Then, he hands you your sack, and your backpack, and points to the door. 

"I, you're, you're letting me... really?" You're more than surprised, you're flabbergasted. 

He nods, helping you to stand. "I believe you, we both do. We've seen how much your care for them, and we understand. To a point, that is. Now hurry along, before it gets too late."

"I, I don't know what to say..."

Sun chuckles. "I think you'll be better off not worrying about your words for once, Sunbeam."

"Still, I just,"—you shake your head, and in a brief moment of unthinking, wrap your arms around the bot in a hug—"I mean it, thank you."

He stiffens, but returns the gesture. 

You pull away after a moment, slinging your bags back over your shoulders. "You know, if I'm not banned, we should um, do this again sometime. In a more, legal setting."

"O-oh?"

You smirk. "Yeah. What? I told you, I mean what I say."

You turn then, heading for the door before they change their mind. Though based on Sun's last words to you, you doubt that.

"We'd like that!" He calls, and for some reason, the sincerity of it makes you blush under your mask. 

Sure enough, when you discover that Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Plex is hiring, in Superstar Daycare no less, you find yourself easily able to fulfill that promise. 

"Almost ready for naptime, Starshine?" Sun asks as he comes up to where you stand leaning against the security desk.

You nod. "I am, but are you?"

"What makes you say that?" He asks, tone anything but innocent.

You tsk. "You've not been subtle today, Sunny. I can tell when someone wants to kiss me, it's my sixth sense, so to say."

"Just like how lock picking, bribery, pick-pocketing, and seduction~ are also your sixth sense?" He asks, leaning down to your height.

Your cheeks heat up, and you cough. "Of course."

Sun chuckles, closing the gap between the two of you with a brief peck. You are on the clock, after all. 

When he pulls away, flicking the lights off, you find Moon staring down at you with that same look. 

You huff, smile on your lips. "Let me guess, you want a turn now too?"

"Of course not." His hand cups your face with a tsk. "Could you think so little of me?"

You grin as he bends down further.

He shakes his head slightly, "No, I think I'll take a bit more than just one simple kiss."

"One not good enough for you?" You question. 

"Not for all the trouble you've been. I think at least three kisses are in order, to make up for it, don't you?"

Your arms wrap around his neck with a giggle. "Well, I certainly won't protest."

You meet somewhere in the middle, and just like you always do these days, find yourself grateful to your previous self for the, really, quite stupid idea of trying to break into the plex the night of Christmas Eve. 

Because sometimes bad ideas can have good outcomes, and this was a clear sign of that. 

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Thank you for the request @soupdweller!! Was a very fun little idea that I MAY have gotten carried away with hehe (i see the word banter and HAVE to go all out yk?), hope you had as much fun as I did :)

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[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 12

I will be honest: if Joris started seriously using this thing he would simply get scared like "WHAT IF I AM GOING TO DIE ON ACCIDENT AND NOT NOTICE DOING TOO MUCH". Also, his pride wouldn't allow him to overindulge.

What I'm getting at, is that his usage of this thing is literally the most in-character, funniest thing that he could have possibly done.

Yes. It's the demons again. I don't actually have anything to add. He looked pretty.

>touch eldritch artifact that feeds on life energy to make people powerful >use it to enhance your nonexistent magical huppermage abilities that were killed both by lack of education and the fact you have a weird fucking dragonized body to summon a tresstump magic wand from a different country >stop using eldritch artifact in any way Literally nobody does it like him. I can just hear him praying that nobody notices or thinks he's weird. But I do. I do.

...If he didn't have The Stump on his mind, he probably wouldn't have stepped anywhere close to this thing.

I thought about how many times Joris has probably had to read out war speeches, to be able to pull something this good sounding out with no preparation, and got a bit sick in the head.

There is nobody better to read out a speech like this, I think. I don't have any thoughts because I am now clinically insane.

At this point, they have discussed the plan for infiltrating the Necro world.

And I keep thinking about the fact that, Just like everyone in this place, Joris has a family to return to and protect (<- taking poison damage actively) and that Joris, like everyone else, is distinctly aware that if they die — not only will their loved ones be sad, they'll also be dead as well.

I really like this little moment of "I really hope you know what you're doing (I don't know what we're doing, and I'm scared)" and the way his voice sounds worried...

I can read complex emotional motivations into ANY Joris dialogue. Just watch me. The worms inside my brain guide me.

The little nod as their plan commences...

If Joris + Sword = Atchan behaviour, then Joris + his stupid log = Kerubim behaviour... From his full-front and full-back pirouettes, to the way he holds positions himself.

As I've said, while it might not be Ankama's intention even now, Joris's fighting style has always resembled Kerubim and Atcham a lot. Which would fit, considering they were probably the ones to actually teach him to fight. (However, by now, I'd be sad if it wasn't their intention...)

Though in the original movie scripts, I'm pretty sure it was Kerubim was the one who actually gave him the log and taught him to use it... So, maybe my jokes about Joris's style in the first seasons are actually pretty-on point and Joris's fighting style has always been based off his?

Whatever the fuck is going on with Joris and Kerubim's bond is at this point, like, written in the fabric of the universe. It's a big comfort to know that the one and only reason I began liking Joris as a character (that reason being his relationship with Kerubim) has always existed in some way

...Ankama please make Kerubim teaching Joris to use the log as a weapon canon already! For years, even before researching movie history, my headcanon has been "Kerubim asked Joris what weapon he'd like to learn to use first — expecting the answer to be something like "a staff" or "a wand" due to Joris's lineage... and Joris responded with "yours :) blunt damage to the bones yippie" which was unexpected but pleasant."

I'm fucking crazy you know. Yugo took Joris's hit... The way Joris softly says "Yugo! :(". The way he immediately rushes at Toross... Friendship is so real and poignant.

Joris "I can't show people they're getting under my skin or that I'm uncomfortable bc that's a sign of weakness" Jurgen saying this is just. you know that he's just fucked. that he's stressed out. and maybe scared of dying. if he was feeling normal, he would not fucking say this.

He probably means this in a "you're not even the 1238423th person that I outlived and defeated to try and get at me like this" but it comes across as "I'm so tired of it".

He's always been disrespected. No matter how hard he tries or how hard he works, everyone just treats him like a child, calls him a little guy at best, a midget at worst — even if he is a politican, even if he is 600 years old. Every person that doesn't know him tutoyers him. Even his family sometimes treats him like a child — albeit for different reasons.

He has 20 mental illnesses, and half of them would be solved by indiscriminately shooting anyone who calls him "petit" or "nabot" or "garçon" with a gun.

[walks into the sea]

On the first watch-through, I genuinely cheered and clapped. Ya!!

Kill him Joris. Kill him and be reborn as a lotus flower.

:(

[comicarc]

𝐈 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 (𝐕𝐈𝐈)

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"A lonely moon craving for the radiant sun." In which a certain girl catches the attention of a prideful billionaire playboy as they both attempt to find their way in the world. (I haven't seen many fics explore Bruce in his formative years, so I thought I'd share my take on them, of course with romance.)

wc: 2182

Night dawned on Gotham, blanketing the city with a moonless sky. y/n made her way to the hole which she had descended into all those nights ago, now completely covered. There was a barricade with two large men standing guard, checking people into a tent by verifying them on a list. y/n was apprehensive, not only because if anything went wrong she could die, but also because it was apparent there were no other girls there. Gulping down her hesitation, y/n attempted to exude an air of confidence to make herself seem unapproachable, as she took confident steps to the front of the line. Maybe she was being too cocky, but that was better than being seen as prey. 

Ignoring the groans and whistles of the men lined behind her, she looked the guards in the eye and mustered all her energy to her voice as she announced her name. She prayed they couldn’t hear the waver in her voice or the tremble of her hands. She was scared witless, but the wire pressed against her chest lay a constant reminder that her actions weren’t in vain. 

As soon as she was let in by the guards, y/n hid in a corner to catch her breath. Bruce had given her earrings to work as comms, so upon hearing her very loud pants, he reassured, “Hey, everything’s fine. The plan’s working and no one suspects a thing.”

His words had eased her rapidly racing heart a little, allowing her to emerge from her corner into the lion’s den. Before her lay rows and rows of tables resembling an assembly line. Red mushrooms on one end turned into some liquid solution at the other, being crushed, mixed and packaged throughout the sequence. Why did anyone want her here?

Someone appeared behind her as she took another stepping, introducing, “Ah here’s the lady of the hour.” He took her by the waist and spun her to face him as he continued, “I’m Jared Steve, head of the operation.”

He wasn’t like a typical creep, Jared was tall, muscular, and looked like he could get any girl he wanted. But his voice and his mannerisms gave away the ugly truth. “And what exactly is this operation?”

“Already interrogating, are we? He said you were feisty, but I never expected you to have this much fire.” He smirked, his curling lips sending a shiver down y/n’s spine. 

y/n remained quiet, as he brushed off his own question, “Well, it’s a new kind of drug. Something that the market’s never seen. Our main target is the children, for obvious reasons. They’re scared, stupid, or lusting to escape life.”

“So, what do you need me for?”

“You’ve got a reputation for being inconspicuous. Nothing intense, I just need you to plant this package in someone’s house. I’ve got the address right here, all you need to do is sneak in, leave it there, and text this number. With all the money you’ve smuggled for Philip Wilcox, I’d say this will be pretty easy for you.” He handed y/n a piece of paper with the details, before intensifying his tone, “Don’t fuck this up, or it’ll be your head being slaughtered.”

y/n took a moment to digest all the information she was given. There was no clear motive behind the operation other than it being a cash grab, but from what she heard, there was enough evidence to prove the existence and maliciousness of the operation. In thought for far longer than she was supposed to be, Bruce chimed through the earring urging her to come back to reality.

“You’ve gotta do this tonight. I’ve got high hopes for you, that is of course, if you’re anything like your mother.”

The offhanded comment caught y/n off guard like a deer in headlights. But ignoring it, y/n turned away from Jared and walked out of the tent, ready to end things for good. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The address led to the apartment next to hers on Crime Alley. It’s proximity to her own ‘home’ had raised her suspicions but she had no time to doubt. All she had to do was get in & get out and then all her worries would dissipate. No more ties to the Falcones. 

The box she held seemed to get heavier with each step, threatening to slip from her hands. Though confined in cardboard, y/n could tell there was something metallic inside with the light clink she heard every few minutes. 

Standing outside the door to the apartment she was meant to enter, y/n paused and let the silence surround her. Carefully, she leaned an ear against the door and listened. There was no shuffling of footsteps, no voices, absolutely nothing indicating that there was a soul inside. Taking it as a green light, y/n set down the box, fished out a bobby pin from her pockets, and fiddled with the lock until it was unlocked.

Taking the box again, this time adjusting it between her left arm and hip, y/n tip-toed inside, making sure she didn’t make a sound. Seeing that the coast was clear, she set down the box on a wooden dining table right in front of the entrance. Standing upright, she took a deep breath as if physically relinquishing the anxiety and stress that had been plaguing her. It was finally over, she was free. 

But, of course, nothing good ever lasts, and just as y/n was about to leave, sickeningly thin fingers grasped her wrist. “You’re here to kill me aren’t you?” The voice sounded defeated as it spoke. “I deserve it, I know that, but I’d hoped that it would be on my own terms.” 

Curious as always, y/n wanted to know more. So, she did exactly what she shouldn’t have as she inquired, “What…did you do?”

“You don’t know?” He lightly chuckled before resuming, “I killed some very important people.”

“A Falcone?” 

“Two Waynes.” y/n heard Bruce gasp through the earring. The target was Joe Chill, and if he knew he was going to be killed then the package had to be a bomb.

“Why?”

“I was dumb and desperate. I thought I could hide, get away from it all with one final job, but Gotham stays with you, even if you leave it. Trust me kid, this isn’t the end, its just the beginning.”

“Why warn me about an inevitability then?”

“So that you don’t make the same mistake I did.” Unhanding y/n, he placed in her palm a stack of files and pushed her outside of the apartment. As soon as she fell onto the carpeted hallway, the cardboard exploded and took Joe with it. 

The apartment burst into flames, the fire rapidly spreading to other parts of the building. Instinct kicked in and y/n ran to her own apartment, gathering her stuff in a backpack before the flames could reach her. After a few minutes of packing, she raced out of the apartment and stood a few feet from the entrance, watching the flames engulf the building in a matter of moments. 

The bomb couldn’t have gone off without the sender knowing it had arrived. Either there was timer or someone tracking her, the latter of which seemed a more reasonable option. Thinking back to her interaction with Jared, y/n remembered he had touched her waist. Feeling her midsection, y/n felt a bump on the back of her jacket. A tracker.

The bomb had left her ears ringing, so she hadn’t registered Bruce’s voice until after she crushed the tracker. “y/n, what the hell happened? Are you alright? Was it Chill, did he do something?”

“I’m fine, let’s meet back at your mansion in the morning.” Bruce continued talking, but y/n had enough for the day. Taking off the earring, removing the wire, and stuffing the files that Joe gave her into her backpack, y/n began walking.

She couldn’t sleep on the street or any bench, so she’d have to settle for a rooftop. Lucky for her, she knew exactly where to go. Arriving at her destination, y/n climbed up a pipe, settled in a corner, curled into herself, and fell asleep clutching her backpack and watching the sky. 

What is to give light must endure burning, so she had decided that the darkness of this night would cool her. Under the blanket of stars, she’d relinquish the buzzing in her mind, allowing it to fly with the fireflies. By morning her thoughts would be silent enough for the joy of freedom to echo through the hollowness of her skull. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Left hanging by y/n, Bruce’s anger blinded him from his sense of compassion. What did Joe Chill have to do with the Falcones? If they were involved in his parent’s death, he had to have a surefire way of getting Carmine convicted. 

He’d been investigating for months and had finally found a cop worthy of his badge. A certain detective Jim Gordon had both influence and honesty in his blood, just the perfect combination to put one of Gotham’s most malicious cronies behind bars. He’d be able to convince Dent Sr. to help with getting a lawyer and the case in general. y/n would get him his evidence. Everything was in place for his plan to work. 

But y/n, she needed to be safe from it all. After all a promise is a promise, and Bruce Wayne always keeps his word. She hadn’t left his thoughts for days, and even now she occupied his mind as he worried for her life.

Sense finally kicked in, and Bruce rushed out the doors of his home, heading to Crime Alley to find y/n. The explosion must’ve surely hurt her, and he couldn’t leave her there to fend for herself in such a bad area. 

An hour or so later, he found y/n on a rooftop freezing in her sleep. In the place where his parents were murdered, the place that haunted him every night, left him tossing and turning until bags formed under his eyes, Bruce knew he’d die here too. It was only a matter of time, for here he was helpless, and no amount of money would save him from death he had cheated. But at that moment, watching y/n smile in such a decrepit state, he couldn’t help but let the thought of her dying overshadow his own fears. 

Slinging her backpack onto his shoulder and picking her up in both his arms, he held her even tighter than he had at the bar, allowing her face to sink into his chest as he walked to his car. Setting her gently in the backseat, he drove out of Park Row back to his mansion. 

Upon arriving back home, he didn’t take her to the same bedroom as the previous night. Rather he sat in the backseat, letting her head lean in his lap as he brushed her hair and watched the color return to her skin. 

In the comfort of silence, he felt as though he needed to get something off of his chest. Thus, he confessed, “Wayne means many things to many people, and to each I am a different person. I’m a rich asshole, a pitiful orphan, an influential figurehead, a reckless idiot, or a gold digger’s dream, but really, I’m a curse. And you, you’re the only one who makes me feel human.

“I know it sounds stupid, but it started in our first year at the Academy, when you got a 100% on our chemistry test. You beat me, and no one beat me. It felt refreshing to have someone see past my ‘power’ and treat me like I wasn’t a god amongst humans that shouldn’t be crossed. And so I started to retaliate, hoping that I’d get your attention. 

“Honestly, I’d never studied for a test in my life as hard as I’d done for you. Just so you’d look my way and think I’m not like the other guys, that I used my wealth and endless resources to further myself instead of blowing it off on pointless stuff. And when that didn’t work, I wanted to get you jealous, using other girls. And when that didn’t work I used the race, to try and impress you.

“Now in hindsight, all that may have come across as a completely different message, but what more can you expect from a boy who has never known true affection? 

“I’ve hurt everyone I’ve been with, from flings to my parents. I can’t seem to give people happiness. I thought I could help you, save you from the real Gotham, beyond the Academy, but look what I’ve done…”

He hesitated, before placing a kiss on y/n’s forehead and admiring her sleeping figure. A part of him hoped she had heard him, that his feelings could be understood. But another part prayed she hadn’t, for he feared she’d only be hurt even more knowing the truth.

˖ ࣪🦇𓆰♡𓆪🦇ִ ࣪⋆

taglist: @earth-to-name

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

It's kind of disheartening to me how the common fanon portrayal of Xander and David's dynamic is usually boiled down to Xander being a 'simp' (for lack of a better word) with a one-sided adoration and idolization of David. Especially after the latter's heel turn in CH2-11. And I say that because one of the most important facets of their dynamic to me is the fact that David also very much idolizes Xander just as much, if not more then Xander idolizes him. David believes the world cannot change, we know this. But I think an aspect of his philosophy that I think goes severely overlooked is just how badly he wants to not believe that. He wants to believe that the world can change, and more specifically, that people can change. This aspect of himself can be seen in many parts of his character. I'll most likely touch on this in a later post, but it's most likely part of why he devised his plan to share the secrets. It's very likely the reason he became a motivational speaker, and it plays a massive part in his two closest relationships during the killing game, Arei and Xander. But today, we're talking about Xander. David looks up to Xander. Incredibly so. Xander is everything that he wants to be.

David: You wanted to make Nico feel comfortable, even though you wouldn't necessarily get anything out of it.

Someone who is unconditionally kind to others with no ulterior deceitful motive, just for the sake of being kind to others.

David: You're always full of energy and bravery to achieve your goals, no matter what they are. Yet at the same time, you're a compassionate person who takes the time to help others.

Someone who strives for hope and change, and will never back down until he has it.

David: I have trouble believing that Xander would be the kind of person to commit murder.

An unquestionable Good Person.

That is why he pushes back so hard when Teruko accuses Xander of attempting to kill her. He refused to acknowledge the possibility that Xander, for all of his good qualities, might've been a much more deceitful person than he was letting on.

Because quite frankly, even though the two of them agreed to treat each other to treat each other less as role models and more as friends, if you ask me: I don't think David ever stopped seeing Xander as his role model. I mean, why would he? Like I said before, Xander is everything David wants to be, everything David so badly wishes he could be but has it etched into his brain that he is incapable of such. Xander is a light in his dark chasm of cynicism, a glimmer of hope. That maybe, just maybe...

Xander: Enough with these idols or role models, okay? Let's just be friends. David: I... David: I'd love that. Thank you.

Things could change.

Teruko: Earlier at lunch, Xander had asked for me to meet him in the computer lab, claiming that he wanted to tell me about some plan he had to confront the mastermind. Teruko: We both met up there after dinner, where he tried to murder me instead by stabbing me with the kitchen knife. David: Xander tried to kill you? I find that hard to believe.

And then the light starts flickering. I've mentioned it before in this post, but one of David's biggest flaws in his mindset is that it causes him to view people, including himself, in a nuance-less binary lens of black and white.

David: People who are born lazy, useless and stupid will stay that way until they die. If you were able to "improve" yourself into a better person, then it only means you were a better person to begin with.

You are either a good person, or a lazy, useless, stupid piece of shit. In simpler terms, you are either born a good person or you are born a bad person, and whichever you are born with will become your identity until the day you are in a casket. That is what David believes. Up until now, Xander was strictly placed into the slot of "good person". Not just that, but practically the opposite of what David deems as a "lazy, useless, and stupid" person. He himself has described Xander as someone who is full of energy and will do anything to achieve his goals, someone who takes the time to help others, and a compassionate and generally emotionally intelligent person. That is who Xander Matthews is to David. But now that he is being given evidence of a more potentially malicious side to Xander, the pitfalls of a firm black-and-white mindset rear their head and repeatedly bludgeon David in his own.

David: It's possible that those bloodstains are Xander's, not yours.

(he's reaching so fucking hard here and he fucking knows it, god I hate him. /pos)

David: Are you saying that Xander is a killer? I find that difficult to believe.

Teruko: -But I believe that the origin of the DVD is not from the culprit, but rather, from that person (SELECT: Xander) Teruko: It was most likely Xander. David: Xander... He planned something that manipulative?

David's monochrome mentality (Riproducer reference completely intended) makes it so that he cannot even fathom the idea that Xander, someone he previously marked off as not just a good person but the good person, is even capable of hurting someone, of being cruel enough to intentionally trigger someone just for his murder plan, to murder someone in general. If his feelings towards Min are anything to go by...

David: Something as horrible as this murder, as horrible as this class trial-- David: How dare you! You killed Xander, and you were perfectly willing to kill everyone else here to escape!

David: At that time, watching Min, I kept thinking... David: ... David: How utterly pathetic she was!

That would certainly bring Xander to the category of lazy, useless, stupid bastards. But David has already put Xander into the category of a "good person". So what else is he meant to do other than defend and deflect anything suggesting otherwise? David doesn't want to believe that that glimmer of hope that Xander gave him was just a lie, that hope that things could change, that he could change. So he defends it. He clings to it. He doesn't want to let go. But here's the funny thing about David. Despite his black-and-white mindset, despite the fact that he does believe good people exist, he will always be, first and foremost: A cynical bitch. Point being: I think David, deep down, knew full well that Teruko was most likely telling the truth. Like, I joked about it earlier, but do you really think he believed the lack-luster argument that completely ignored evidence that he could gleam by just looking at the crime scene? I think he was just reaching for anything at that point to try and prove himself wrong. But it's no use, the light continues to flicker. David's denial of Xander's cruelty is quiet to none, but it's clear he is still clinging desperately onto the positive image of Xander he used to have, seeing as he does not show nearly as much animosity (verbally anyway) towards Xander then he does towards Min, despite the fact that Xander also seemed more than willing to kill the rest of the class to escape. It's breaking. But after Min's execution, it's clear that it all hits him at once.

David: I... I've seen enough. There's no point in keeping my hopes up anymore. David: We are all certainly going to die here.

David Chiem left the courtroom that day with his hopes snuffed out, nothing left within him other than the cruel reminder of something he already knew:

If something is important, then

It'll break and disappear.

[tsunael]

wolcred week |  3. 'need / want.'

Never in his five years of being had he seen Norvrandt's commonfolk in such high spirits. How that woman still had energy for merry-making after everything they've been through, he couldn't know.

She was a fascinating spectacle: one moment she was showing off her footwork he recognized as distinctively Lominsan, and then she was floating across the floor, tangled tightly in a foxtrot with a Eulmoran come to join in the festivities.

Ryne couldn't seem to take her eyes off them, hands clapping along to the rhythm of the jaunty tune being played across the way. If he didn't know any better, he'd say she was eager to join in-- a better time for a girl her age than to be clinging to his side, no doubt.

She cheered along with the gathering crowd as Tsuna and her partner finished their round, and it was only moments until the next number started up.

He supposed she danced to console her heart.

If she stopped dancing-- stopped moving-- even if for a second, the despair would seep its way in through the cracks. She would exhaust herself until there was nothing left. She needed this.

"It's so wonderful to see everyone so spirited," Ryne giggled with a joy that did not cease to swell his heart. "I never knew she could dance like that... did you?"

He had been silent for far too long, he realized with a rueful smile-- too focused on not watching the feast in front of him, try as he may to dodge the furtive glances Tsuna would throw over her shoulder.

He hummed, looking into his tankard, thoughtful.

"Not quite like this," he snorted. "At this rate we'll have to carry her home."

He looked up at the opportune time as Tsuna began a daring pirouette. For a moment they met eyes, and in the next motion her arm extended to the two of them-- her fingers beckoning.

He chuffed a laugh, looking away again.

An unsteady click of heels from his periphery meant that the object of his affections would not be denied.

Tsuna came to them, out of breath and sweating a fine sheen. She fell into his arms, thoroughly drunk on mirth and spirits.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were ignoring me," she teased. She was right. "Dance with me."

Ryne's mouth fell open, silently enthused with the idea.

He cast her a pointed look, the corner of his mouth twitching with a touch of frustration as he had to peel her from his chest. "Now there's a Hell I would not suffer," he huffed a laugh, and Tsuna fell into a girlish pout that did not suit her. "I believe there's enough biting at the bit to have your hand already."

Her lips quirked in an impish smile as she reeled herself back in. The look she gave beneath her thick lashes was meant to entice. "At least buy me a drink?"

He was much too sober for this-- and in the company of Ryne, no less.

His brow raised. "I think you've had quite enough," he said, firm.

Tsuna held his gaze a moment too long before sighing dramatically.

Drink motivated her to suddenly pull Ryne in by the shoulders, hugging her possessively, despite the girl's embarrassment. "Then I shall have no choice but to steal. Your. Date." She declared. "He's so boorish, isn't he? No fun at all."

"I-- Well, I suppose a bit--" Ryne stammered, looking torn between loyalties, and obvious want.

He wasn't sure whether to be irritated or amused, but resettled himself against the bar all the same. Had Ryne seemed more opposed to the idea, he may have felt the need to step in, however...

"Just..." He held his breath, and exhaled with a sudden, deep sense of regret. "Go easy on her, won't you?"

Tsuna burst into a fit of laughter, hugging the girl until she squeaked-- her horns nearly poking something vital in her fervour. Clearly, she would not be heeding his warning. "Come on, the next one is about to start--"

And then the girl was dragged off.

And then he was alone.

He looked at his empty tankard and frowned. He had thought to sworn it off. It was used far one-too-many times as a crutch, but perhaps he would drink-- for old time's sake-- to join in the merriment. Just a singular ale to start, he figured.

That was, until Urianger curled his lanky-self around and reminded him-- in excruciating detail-- of where a flagon so often led him in the past. Out spilled a veritable list of his drunken conquests-- a familiar name only barely escaped the roster before he loudly begged mercy.

It would be water for the night, then. Water.

[spearsillustration]

°[The Doctor's Out]°

Note: I really hope this turns out well. I've had an old hyperfixation reemerge, and I had to write something before the motivation slipped away. Recently, I have been quickly moving from one thing to another. Most of the time I have trouble writing longer fics. But I'm so excited to work on something for Richtofen. I've hardly seen any good fanfiction for him so I'd love any recommendations.

Word Count - 4,604

Page Number - 12.5

[Hurt Edward Richtofen x reader] SFW

------------------------------------------------------------

        I had finally found him slumped against a wall after looking all over for him. Only to find him bleeding out from a wound in his abdomen. It seems he had enough energy to fight off some zombies before I arrived, but he was badly injured in the process. Seeing him like this almost knocked the breath out of me. 

        "I thought you vere going to leave me to bleed to death, it was so sad." He says quietly in a lighthearted manner, though his voice was weak.    

        "Keep quiet, you can joke about this as much as you like once I patch you up," I said quickly rushing to his side holstering my gun clearly worried about him. "How'd you even manage to bang yourself up this bad?" 

        He lets out a low chuckle, wincing in pain as he does. "I got cornered by a few of those damn things. You can only keep them off for so long before one of them gets the jump on you."

        He grunts in pain as I kneel beside him, struggling to speak through the pain as blood pours from his wound. "How is it looking, my dear?"

        "Well, you're the doctor, shouldn't you know?" I asked jokingly trying to lighten the mood up a bit more.

        He lets out a weak chuckle, shaking his head slightly. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. I know roughly how it looks, but I'm a little...distracted."

        He glances down at his wounded abdomen, his hand hovering over the gaping wound as the blood slowly soaks into the tattered fabric of his shirt.

        He was losing blood faster than I originally thought making my eyes widen and uncontrollably gasp. I quickly sat down on the ground next to him and threw open our med kit. I rummaged through grabbing what I needed. 

        He watches me silently, taking note of the look of shock on my face seeing the extent of his injury. His eyes follow every movement meticulously, analyzing my every reaction to the situation.

        "I'm going to be fine, don't worry." He assures you quietly, trying to maintain a calm demeanor as his face twists in pain. Despite his attempt to appear unbothered, his hands clench into fists as his eyes narrow with discomfort. "I've had vorse."

        "I'll stop worrying once I get you patched up." I had everything I needed and moved closer to his injured side. I had him lie down fully so I could get a better look to see what I was working with.

        He complies with my request, grunting in pain as he slowly lowers himself to the ground, trying to avoid putting too much pressure on his wounded abdomen. His breathing quickens slightly as he sees the medical supplies in my hands, knowing that the pain he's about to feel is just the beginning.

        "You can still leave me...if you want." He offers, half-jokingly as he looks up at me from his position on the ground.

        "Don't even joke about that," I said sternly looking him in the eyes for a moment before getting back to work. I removed some of his outer layers and pushed up his shirt to get a better view of the injury.

        He let out a sharp breath as I moved his shirt, exposing the ugly wound on his abdomen. The area around the wound was already turning a dark purple color from the internal bleeding, and the actual gash on his skin was still seeping with fresh blood. He grits his teeth, bracing himself for the pain that's to come as he looks up at my face again.

        "Just do your work, dear." He mutters in a strained voice.

        I gave him a sympathetic look knowing this was gonna hurt like hell, fixing this with what little we have.

        He nods slightly in acknowledgment of the sympathetic look. He steadies his breathing, trying to mentally prepare himself for the pain that's about to come as he closes his eyes and tilts his head back, resting it against the cold, hard wall behind him.

        "Do your worst, love." He says quietly, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation.

        "I'll be as gentle as I can okay?" I said before starting to clean his wound.

        He nods silently, bracing himself as best he can as I start to clean his wound. He grits his teeth, his hands clenching into fists at his sides as he feels the cold touch of the antiseptic against his skin. Every muscle in his body tenses up, waiting for the pain to come.

        "Just...get it over with, quickly please."

        "I'll work as fast as I can. But if I don't do this right it'll only make it worse." Cleaning the wound helped slow down the blood flow making it easier to fix before stitching him back up. "But I'll have you back in one piece soon."

        "I'm trying to hold still for you." He mutters through gritted teeth, struggling to keep from flinching as I touch the sensitive, wounded skin.

        After a few minutes, I removed my hands and got the needle ready to sew him up. "We're almost finished, just need to sew you up and we're done," I said gently caressing his cheek with my hand for a moment before going back to work.

        He nods quickly, a mix of relief and anticipation clear in his expression. The thought of being sewn up brings a grimace to his face, but he knows it needs to be done. He leans into the touch of my hand against his cheek for a moment, finding comfort in the soft caress.

        "Just... do it quickly, okay?" He manages to say, his voice strained and shaky.

        I quickly sewed him up and made sure it was secure before fixing his clothes. "All finished hon,"  I said with a sigh of relief. "I'll keep the medical work for you next time."

        He let out a long sigh of relief himself once I finished stitching him up. He glances down at his abdomen, inspecting the work I did.

        "Thanks, love. I'm sorry you had to stitch me up like that." He shifts slightly, trying to get more comfortable on the cold floor as he looks up at me once again. "You did alright despite zero medical training." He adds jokingly, unable to resist.

        "Well, I never wanna have to stitch you up again, that better be the last time. Be more careful." I said putting everything back away.

        "Now stay right there, I need to do a quick lookout to make sure we're safe to stay here for a while. You need to rest for a bit, and I don't need zombies cornering us before we meet back up with the group."

        He nods in agreement, reluctantly admitting that I was right. He leans back against the wall, resting one arm over his wounded abdomen as his eyes fill with a mix of irritation and exhaustion. "Fine, fine, I'll stay put. Just be careful out there."

       "I'll be right back," I said making sure my gun was fully loaded.

        He watches me check my weapon, "Give 'em hell, my dear.." He says quietly, a hint of a smile on his face as he leans back and closes his eyes.

        "Always do," I said leaving him there safely in the room we were in.

        I wanted to make sure the building was safe to stay in over the night. I looked around checking every room hardly noticing a thing. Well, that was until I heard something. A lone zombie by itself it looked like from the corner I hid in trying my best to keep out of sight. It hadn't noticed me so I quickly rushed back. It wasn't the best but our circumstances could be far worse. As long as we stayed hidden and quiet we'd be fine, most likely. It wasn't one of my best plans but we didn't have many options. The group has been separated and my only teammate and medic got hurt. 

        He waits patiently in the room, his head leaning against the wall behind him and his eyes closed as he tries to rest. It had only been a few minutes since I left when he heard the door burst open suddenly. He quickly opens his eyes, looking up at me entering the room, noticing the tense look on my face.

        "Everything alright?" He asks, raising a concerned eyebrow.

        "It's fine. Only a few zombies lying around." I closed and locked the door behind me. "But we need to stay quiet and I prefer to take extra precautions." We were hiding away in an old office so I pushed the desk in front of the door along with the bookcase. This wouldn't do much but it's better than nothing. "This will do for tonight," I said dusting myself off and wiping the sweat from my brow. 

        He watches as I barricaded the door, his expression a mixture of resignation and irritation. He knew I was right to take extra precautions, but he seemed frustrated at having to hide away in an old office.

        "Great, just great... we'll be stuck in here for the night then." He mutters, wincing slightly as he shifts his position on the floor, his injured abdomen still throbbing with pain most likely. 

        "Well we can't do much now, and you need to rest," I said turning to face him with another stern look. 

        He had already been pushing himself to the limit, and the strain of today's events had taken their toll on him. His exhaustion shows on his face as he leans back against the wall, trying to make himself as comfortable as possible on the hard floor.

        "I guess you're right. I could use some rest. But.. what about you? You still haven't slept either.."

        "I can wait, you need to rest. Doctors orders or so you'd say. Plus one of us needs to keep watch just in case anything happens. I'd hate to see what happens if both of us were taken by surprise. We probably wouldn't survive that one."

        He rolls his eyes at my mention of "doctor's orders," but can't help letting out a small chuckle.

        "If you say so, Liebling. I suppose I'm in no position to argue right now." He lets out a weary sigh, closing his eyes again as he tries to relax his aching muscles. 

        He was already hurting from his wounds so I hated to see him uncomfortable too. I walked back over and sat next to him. "Well, the wall isn't very comfortable is it?" I patted my shoulder gesturing for him to lean against my side and make himself comfortable.

        He glances at me, a mix of surprise and gratitude in his expression. He sighs quietly, reluctantly accepting the offer as he slowly shifts his position to lean against my side, gingerly resting his head on my shoulder.

        "I'm too tired to argue about this.." He mutters, his voice low and weary. But there's a hint of affection in his tone as well.

        "Whatever you say, doctor," I said with a smile.

        He lets out a soft breath, feeling a wave of relief wash over him as he moves into a more comfortable position, resting against my side. Despite the situation, he can't help feeling a sense of comfort from my presence, even if he would never admit it out loud.

        "That's better." He mutters quietly, his eyes fluttering closed as he leans into you. "Just wake me up if anything happens, got it, love?"

        "Just rest, let me worry about everything for now," I said tenderly.

        He nods silently, his eyes still closed as he takes a deep breath, his weary mind slowly starting to relax allowing himself to simply unwind and rest. "Just for a little while.." He mutters, the fatigue slowly taking over as he allows himself to drift off to sleep.

        I just lightly hummed in response.

        The sound of soft humming fills the quiet room, its soothing melody acting like a lullaby that slowly lulls him to sleep. He leans even closer, his head resting against my shoulder, his breathing slowly becoming more steady and regular, a clear sign that he is gradually falling asleep.

        I smiled as he fell asleep. He definitely needed it. I just listened for anything coming and kept guard as he slept. This was the first time I've seen him take anything remotely close to a break. However these days it was almost impossible for any of us to get a break. But it did bring a smile to my face to see him get some rest though I was almost envious. 

        ---

        A few hours passed as he slept quietly, the room filled with the silence of the night and the soft sound of his steady breathing. During the first few hours, he remained motionless, too exhausted and in pain to stir. It wasn't until later in the night that he began to shift and murmur restlessly, his sleep disturbed by some unknown nightmare.

        A few times here and there I could hear something moving around outside keeping me alert. As long as we were quiet and weren't located we'd be safe. I noticed him stir a few times here and there but I didn't think much of it since I can't believe anyone could have a truly restful night's sleep these days. 

        As the night progressed, his nightmare continued to cause him to stir and murmur in his sleep. Now and again he would let out a low gasp of pain or fear, his body tensing and flinching involuntarily as if trying to escape from whatever horrors his mind was tormenting him with.

        After a while of this, it started to worry me too much to let it be. "Richthofen...Richthofen." I repeated gently trying to wake him up in case his nightmare caused him to hurt himself even more or make too much noise giving away our location.

        His eyes snap open instantly, his expression one of disoriented confusion and fear. His heart was beating fast, his chest heaving heavily as he tried to figure out his surroundings in the darkness. It takes him a moment to realize where he is.

        "S-Scheiße, what...where..?" He stammers, his voice hoarse and strained as he slowly regains his bearings.

        You were having a nightmare, are you alright?

       He takes a deep, shaky breath, his hands trembling slightly as he runs one through his messy hair. The nightmare still had him feeling on edge, and his heart still felt like it was racing.

        "Ja, I-I'm fine. Just a bad dream, that's all." He says, trying to downplay the situation. He didn't want me to worry about him any more than I already was.

        "It seemed like a rough one. Not that I wanna pry. You were starting to move around and I didn't want you ripping your stitches or anything."

        "Danke, liebe.. I appreciate your concern, I'm alright. Just need a few moments to catch my breath." He says, his voice sounding strained and weary as he tries to calm his breathing.

        A loud crash outside the door interrupted us making me jump as I covered my mouth keeping myself from making noise. It sounds like something was knocked over right outside the door.

        Edward's tired mind quickly snaps to alert at the sound of the crash outside the door and he instantly goes tense, his eyes wide as he looks at me.

        "What was that?" He whispers, his voice low and urgent. He was fully awake now, adrenaline starting to course through our veins as he scanned the room anxiously, ready to defend the both of us if needed despite his injuries. 

        "Sounds like one of them knocked something over. It's probably nothing but we should stay quiet for now." I barely said over a whisper almost shaking as my hand rested over my gun.

        Edward nods in agreement. Every little noise and shadow seemed to make us more nervous, his fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

        "Right, let's stay quiet.." He mutters, his voice low and tense. "Hopefully it was just a stray zombie and it will pass on by."

        "That's what I hope for."

        He was used to dealing with hordes of undead regularly, but the stress of the situation was starting to wear on him. Sitting in a small, dark room with a group of undead roaming outside wasn't exactly on his list of preferred places to spend the night.

        "Hopefully it won't try the door." He mutters, his eyes flickering toward the barricaded door.

        "Well, don't jinx it," I said halfheartedly.

        He lets out a low chuckle, trying to make light of the situation. "Right, my apologies. No jinxing allowed. That'd be bad luck, wouldn't it?" He teases, his voice still edged with nerves.

        Suddenly a low, guttural noise comes from outside the door, causing both our hearts to skip a beat. 

        I unintentionally grabbed his arm for comfort as we both froze in silence and looked up at him with wide eyes.

        His eyes flickered over to me as I grabbed his arm. He glanced at me and then back at the door, his breath caught in his throat as the noise got louder.

        "Stay calm," He whispers, gripping my shoulder reassuringly as he speaks, trying to keep his voice steady.

        I only nodded as I kept my hand hovered above my weapon.

        The noise continued, almost sounding like a low growl. It lasted for a few moments, then slowly faded, leaving the room shrouded in an eerie silence. Edward exhales a shaky breath, his hand still gripping my shoulder. 

        "I.. think it moved on.." He says quietly, his eyes shifting toward the doorway.

        "I hope so," I said feeling slightly relieved, and let my tense body relax.

        Edward sighs, his body still tense as he keeps listening intently, straining his ears for any sign of movement outside. The silence was almost deafening, his heart still beating a little bit too fast for comfort. However, the fact that the sound seemed to have faded gave him a slight sense of relief.

        "Looks like we're in the clear for now..." He mutters, his hand still on my shoulder, his grip a little tighter than usual as if trying to assure himself that I was still there.

        My ears were practically ringing so I shook my head to get rid of the feeling. "Let's hope it stays that way."

        He nods, his eyes still flickering toward the door every now and then. Even though the room was silent now, the tension was still thick in the air.

        "Yeah. No sense worrying about what's outside. We just need to lay low and hope it stays quiet out there."

        He pauses for a moment before speaking again, his voice a little softer than usual. "Hey, look at me for a second, love."

        I turned to face him tilting my head slightly with a questioning look.

        Edward's gaze locks onto mine, his blue eyes studying me intently. He looked tired, yet the concern was still showing on his face. “How are you holding up?” He asked suddenly, his voice gentler than usual. His hand that was on my shoulder gave a light squeeze.

        "I'm doing al- I'm doing the best I can with our current situation." I didn't know how to answer. I was completely exhausted and overwhelmed with him being hurt, and everything was just crazy right now.

        He notices the hint of distress in my voice knowing I was trying to downplay my stress for his sake. He knew me all too well. 

        "Hey, hey, it's alright." He says softly, his hand moving gently to cup my cheek. "You know you can be honest with me, love. It's just us right now, I'm here." He says, his thumb stroking my cheek gently.

        "I-I'm just tired," I said leaning into his warm touch.

        His fingertips brush gently over my skin as his hand rests against my cheek. My tiredness was apparent, and he couldn't blame me for feeling worn out. The stress of the day was taking a toll on both of us.

        "I know, I know. But you've been through a lot today. You should rest." He says sincerely, his voice laced with a hint of concern and tenderness. His hand continues to caress my cheek, his thumb tracing soft circles against my skin.

        "I'm fine, you're the one who needs rest, you're hurt. I can rest once we get back with the group." I mumbled out, sounding far more pitiful than I ever imagined myself sounding.

   He sighs, shaking his head slowly as he looks at me. He can hear the fatigue in my voice and can see the shadows under my eyes. He knew that I was pushing myself to my limit, putting up a strong front for his sake.

        "Love, I appreciate your concern, but you need to rest. You're just as tired as I am. There's no point in pretending otherwise."

        His eyes were gentle and understanding. He didn't want me to push myself past my limits, especially not for his sake.

        "But-" Is all I got out before being interrupted.

        He cuts me off, shaking his head firmly. "No buts, not this time. You need to rest. I'll be fine, I've been through worse."

        He says with a smirk, his hand moving to gently brush a strand of hair out of my face. Despite his joking tone, his eyes were serious, wanting me to take care of myself for once.

        "Fine, but only because I'm too tired to argue."

        He chuckles lightly at my response, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I'll take what I can get."

        He says, his hand still caressing my cheek, gently tracing the outline of my face with his fingertips. He could see the exhaustion in my eyes, the weariness etched onto my features. "Get some rest, love. I'll keep watch, alright?"

        "Alright, fine," I said before moving closer and cuddling up to his side like I had him do with me earlier.

        He let out a slight laugh as I cuddled closer to him, a small smile on his face. He slides his arm around me, pulling me closer to him as he makes himself comfortable on the ground.

        "Comfortable, love?" He teases me gently, his fingers tracing slow circles on my back. Despite the situation, he found a strange sense of comfort in having me close to him, my head resting on his shoulder.

        "Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable, but I'm not hurting you or anything are you?" I ask suggesting to his sewed-up side.

        He shakes his head, the smile on his face growing slightly as he gazes down at me resting against his shoulder. "No, love, you're just fine."

        "As long as you say so," I mumbled as my eyes grew heavy. It didn't take long for me to practically pass out from exhaustion. 

        He watched as my breathing began to slow, my body relaxing against his. He could feel the tiredness emanating from me, and it wasn't long before I drifted off to a deep sleep, my head still resting on his shoulder. He couldn't help but crack a small, genuine smile. Seeing me asleep and curled up against him sent a strange yet pleasant feeling fluttering through his chest. Even in a dangerous situation like this, he found a sense of comfort in having me near him.

        ---

        Like he did I could only sleep for a few hours before my body automatically woke me up. I'd probably never have a good night's rest for the rest of my days, though I did feel better than before.

        Edward's eyes were open the moment he heard me stir next to him, his hand having rested automatically on my shoulder as you woke. He glanced down at me in the dark as I slowly sat up, his voice low and gentle as he spoke. "You alright, liebe? You didn't sleep long."

        "Couldn't sleep, you know how it can be."

        He nods, understanding all too well the struggle to find rest during stressful situations like these. He knew all too well how it felt to toss and turn for hours with endless thoughts racing through your mind in the dark.

        "Yeah, I know the feeling. It's hard to find sleep when your mind won't let you relax." He says, rubbing his hand up and down my back soothingly, the action automatic and comforting.

        Just then I heard voices making me jump up. I looked back at Richtofen before moving closer to the door to listen and prayed it was our little team. We'd be far safer to leave if it was them.

        Edward was immediately alert the moment he noticed my reaction. He listened intently, straining his ears trying to make out the voices I was hearing. He gently grabbed my hand, silently signaling me to be cautious and quiet as he too moved closer to the door to listen.

        One stupid joke told me exactly who it was making me smile before starting to move my shitty excuse of a barricade. Our team was right outside the door.

        Edward let out a soft sigh of relief as he recognized the voices as well. He could hear Nikolai's deep, rumbling laugh and Dempsey's loud, cocky comments, and it put him at ease.

        "Guess we got lucky this time." He mutters quietly, a small smile on his face as he watches me start to move the barricade.

        "Guess we did," I said moving the last thing from our barricade. And before I opened the door I quickly gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

        "Hay guys, good to see you're all alive," I said after opening the doors.

        Edward was about to say something but was quickly cut off by Nikolai's booming voice. "It is good to see you both alive as well." He says with a chuckle, his eyes flickering to Edward for a moment before looking back to me.

        I gently nudged our doctor. "He's been roughed up a bit, got anything to help the pain?" I asked the others since we only had so much.

        Nikolai nodded, pulling a bottle of vodka out of his jacket pocket. "Vodka always helps the pain, ja? 

[sinnohsiblings]

Response to This | @singularity-and-co

"I don't see what's so bad about it." She shrugged indifferently at Galaxis "My mother sits on my father's lap, funnily enough she also did that to silence his sister for trying to ruin a special occasion for him. I suppose I get my boldness from her."

"You're right he doesn't have as much experience as I do, having been in one other relationship before. But how to you expect him to get that experience? Just only date people who are also just as inexperienced and hope that they'd be compatible after learning what they want? I've only been in one serious relationship prior, and you make it seem like I'm some corruptive negative thing because I know what I want in someone after learning what I don't want. Why does it shock you that I'd go for someone like Singularity? How low do you think of him that he wouldn't be found a worthy match? Or are you shocked that someone could look at someone with a corrupted form and see someone worth value?"

"You know what I see in Singularity outside of the things I already told you about his kindness and consideration he's shown not just me but others? He saw value in me outside of my rank and political value. Previous suitors of mine where only interested in me for what being with someone like me would do for their image and their political and social standings, after all I am quite literally the highest of the pantheon's ladder. But Singularity gains nothing from courting me outside my company, we are equals on all fronts, and there for I know he is not motivated by self-serving reasons, well...outside of the normal relationship desires. He is not interested in me just to make himself look better or be treated as someone more important, he actually wanted to know who I was, and I want to know who he is. It's a shame that's so outrageous to you that when you see you aren't getting your way you think threatening him with the ire of your father."

"I must ask Galaxis...how does Singularity having someone in his life who actually wants to hold him, see him smile, and show him affection effect you. Like seriously? You act like me kissing him is gonna set you or your world on fire, it's not. You might not like it, and you don't have to. But you can always leave, it takes zero energy to not be a dick. It takes nothing to just look the other way and not get involved."

When she felt singularity's hand on her shoulder she turned her attention onto him, looking over her shoulder as he spoke. She frowned hearing Singularity say his father hated him; it was easily seen by anyone that the very words of a father hating their child saddened her.

When Galaxis had the audacity to insinuate, she was trying to control him she snapped her head in his direction and if looks could kill the sheer venom in her gaze at such an insult of her character would have laid low legions.

When singularity leaned closer she tilted her head towards him. When he complimented her, she blushed, and when mentioned he'd find honor in receiving a kiss she smiled. Deciding to pay Galaxis no mind she thought she'd indulge the other Giratina.

[moonlight-translation-archive]

A3! Mikage Hisoka | SR - Flame Guidance | Translation

Quote: "There are always candy apples for sale at festivals, but only a few sell marshmallows. I'd like them to be in more."

-----------

Marshmallow Buff! / 1

Izumi: Okay, that’s all for today. Great job, guys!  Itaru: GG.  Hisoka: …Good job.  Izumi: Your character portrayal was so on point that I wouldn’t think this was a sudden performance request.  Itaru: The world-building made the acting easier. Kudos to our resident scriptwriter. Tsuzuru: That’s nice to hear, but that’s pretty much because of the base script from the Goldfish Festival organizer.  Tsuzuru: The story adaptation went smoothly thanks to it.  Izumi: I’m glad the theme was easy to write. Keep this same energy on the big day, guys!  Tsuzuru: Sure thing.  Itaru: There won’t be anything to worry about if we get the director’s thumbs up before the performance. Hisoka: …Director, is there something we should change to make it better? Izumi: Not really. I think the interpretation and moves are good enough.  Hisoka: Okay.  Tsuzuru: …Is it just me, or is Mikage-san more motivated than other times?  Itaru: I noticed it too. The tempo in the dialogues between you two has been on point in every practice.  Itaru: That motivation of him could only be—-. Tsuzuru: Because Mizuno arranged a marshmallow assortment and a marshmallow dessert stall, isn’t it?  Izumi: Yeah, but there’s one more reason related to it…  Itaru and Tsuzuru: Huh? 

(Flashbacks starts)

Hisoka: … Izumi: (Oh, Hisoka-san. He is looking at something very happily.) Izumi: What are you looking at, Hisoka-san?  Hisoka: The list of stalls Mizuno gave me. The goods that will be in the marshmallow dessert stall are written here.  Izumi: It makes sense why you couldn’t take your eyes away from it.  Hisoka: Yeah.  Hisoka: I told you before that Mizuno noted down all my recommendations when I took him to the marshmallow specialty shop, right?   Izumi: Yeah, I remember that. He wanted to go to the marshmallow shop to hear what you had to say about them.  Hisoka: Yes. He searched for marshmallow desserts combined with various sweets based on those notes. Izumi: (Mizuno did that much for Hisoka-san…! I feel indebted to him even if he didn’t do it for me…!)  Hisoka: He prepared exclusive goods for the Goldfish Festival that isn’t in the marshmallow specialty shop. I’m looking forward to it.  Izumi: Everything makes sense now. If we finish the rehearsal quickly, you might have plenty of time to look around the stalls.  Hisoka: !  Hisoka: When is the rehearsal? In the morning?  Izumi: Hmm, that’s up to the priest and Mizuno-san to decide, but… maybe early in the morning since there are fewer visitors.  Hisoka: In the morning then. If we finish it quickly, I can eat more.  Izumi: Fufu, very well. But for that to happen, you have to work on it from now on.  Hisoka: Okay. I’ll do my best in the practice. 

(Flashbacks ends)

Izumi: —That’s the thing.  Itaru: The marshmallow buff is incredible, but Mizuno is in another league.  Tsuzuru: You have to be kidding me… like the director, I can’t help but feel indebted to him just by hearing that.  Izumi: Ahaha, I know, right? Anyway, let’s meet up tomorrow at the same time, okay? Tsuzuru: Sure. …Huh? Tomorrow—. Hisoka: I have something to do tomorrow, so we’ll practice in the evening. …It was what you said before our practice today.  Izumi: Ah! You’re right. I said it and yet forgot it. Thanks, Hisoka-san.  Itaru: …So tomorrow it will rain cats and dogs, won’t it?  Tsuzuru: More like it will rain a big amount of marshmallows… 

Mizuno: Thank you for working hard in the rehearsal.  Izumi: I should be the one who says it. Thank you for the early morning rehearsal! Priest: It’s alright. It was perfect for us to have it before we opened the gates. I’m looking forward to the performance.  Izumi: Of course!  Mizuno: The festival will start soon. I have to prepare some things before the performance. Please, excuse me.  Mizuno: If it’s not too much trouble, could you tell Mikage-san to be at the marshmallow stall at noon? Izumi: Hm? Ah, of course. I will tell him. Mizuno: Thank you! Then—. Izumi: (The stage performance arrangements and the rehearsal have already finished. What else could Mizuno-san have to do…?)

Izumi: Great job, everyone!  Izumi: You were more fired up than at the practices, Hisoka-san.  Itaru: Yeah. That fire on him reached us too.  Tsuzuru: It felt like the real performance.  Hisoka: Are we free until the performance now?  Izumi: Yes, we can split up for now—. Hisoka: I’ll go to eat marshmallows.  Izumi: Eh?! Hisoka-san, wait! I have a message for you… Tsuzuru: And I was wondering about him changing clothes so fast… Itaru: The marshmallow buff is no joke. Izumi: Ahm, you two can go around the festival and enjoy your free time. I’ll go after Hisoka-san! 

Marshmallow Buff! / 2

Izumi: (Where was the marshmallow stall…?) Hisoka: … Izumi: Found it! Hisoka-san—. Hisoka: I’d like marshmallow cake, marshmallow macaron, and marshmallow ice cream, five of each one.  Izumi: Eeh?! That’s a gigantic order…!  Hisoka: …Ah, director. Stall Person A: Sir, your order is ready.  Hisoka: Thanks. Munch, munch… yummy.  Izumi: You did your best in every practice for these unique marshmallows.  Hisoka: Yes. I strongly believe Mizuno-san should join Mankai Company’s staff.  Izumi: Yeah, that won’t be possible. Oh, right. Mizuno-san wanted me to give you a message.  Hisoka: …A message?  Izumi: “Be at the marshmallow stall at noon.” Hisoka: …I’d stay here even if he didn’t tell me to.  Izumi: Haha, I should have known it.  Woman A: Look, it’s a marshmallow stall. That’s so rare!  Woman B: Those marshmallow macarons look so good~! Should we buy some?  Child A: Mom, I want that ice cream!  Mother A: Oh, that looks delicious.  Hisoka: …More people are coming.  Izumi: Yeah. Other customers will come, so hogging the stand is not a good idea. Let’s move a little.  Izumi: Since we’re in the festival, why don’t we check other stalls until Mizuno-san comes?  Hisoka: … Izumi: They might not have marshmallows, but we might find other sweets.  Hisoka: …Okay. Let’s look around. Hisoka: But, give me a minute.  Izumi: Hm? Hisoka: I want the same I asked before. Stall Person A: Eh, by the same you mean… Hisoka: Marshmallow cake, marshmallow macaron, and marshmallow ice cream—. Izumi: Come on, Hisoka-san, stop that…! 

Hisoka: …The cotton candy was good. Izumi: You were eager to visit all the stands with sweets at the festival, Hisoka-san.  Izumi: Okay, we should see the marshmallow stand soon… Ah, there are candy apples next to it!  Hisoka: Candy apple?  Izumi: Yeah. They were placing goldfish-shaped candy apples when we left the marshmallow stand. I wanted to try one.   Hisoka: Oh, you’re right. I didn’t notice it.  Izumi: There were only marshmallows in your mind after all. I should get one now that I’m here. Do you want one, Hisoka-san? Hisoka: Sure. Izumi: Okay. Excuse me, could you give me two candy apples? Stall Person B: Sure thing! Izumi: Thank you. Here is yours, Hisoka-san. Hisoka: Thanks. Izumi: Now that I look it at this close, it’s quite cute. Hisoka: …

Choice 1: Marshmallows are better?

Izumi: Marshmallows are better, aren’t they?  Hisoka: Eh?  Izumi: You didn’t eat it immediately compared to the other ones.  Hisoka: No, it’s not that. It feels like it’s watching me, so I can’t eat it.  Izumi: Pfff, you’re right. It has eyes attached to it.  Hisoka: …I’ll eat it from the fin. 

Choice 2: Did you like it? 

Izumi: Did you like the goldfish candy apple?  Hisoka: …It’s only candy, but I feel bad eating the goldfish.  Izumi: Oh… do you feel uneasy about eating it because your role in the performance is a goldfish? Hisoka: …Don’t worry about it, I will eat it after I look at it a little more, it’s pretty. 

Izumi: …Ahh. It was good.  Hisoka: Yeah.  Hisoka: —Ah.  Mizuno: I-I’m very sorry! Did I keep you waiting?  Izumi: Not at all. We were looking around and just came back.  Mizuno: I’m glad if that’s the case. I wanted to give something to Hisoka-san, but it took some effort to arrange it.  Hisoka: Give me something?  Mizuno: Yes. It’s this.  Hisoka: ! A marshmallow bento…! Hisoka: But the one after the performance… Mizuno: This is a snack before the stage. There’s another assortment ready as an appreciation token. Do not worry about it.  Izumi: (So he was preparing THIS! Unbelievable…!)  Hisoka: Thanks, Mizuno. I will do my best in the performance, please come to watch it.  Mizuno: It would be my pleasure!  Izumi: Mizuno-san, allow me to express my gratitude. Thank you SO much for everything you’ve done! 

----------- Notes: Hisoka takes Mizuno to the marshmallow specialty shop in his SR Wide Awake Live backstage.

[gamebunny-advance]

Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)

I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.

Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.

Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.

A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.

But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.

(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)

(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)

So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.

Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.

I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).

(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).

I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."

I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.

But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.

So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.

Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.

From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.

The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.

(It's not the worst match up.)

I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.

So, no backing out now.

Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:

Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.

The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.

So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.

But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.

For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.

I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.

There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?

As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.

(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)

In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.

The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.

The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP

The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.

He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.

In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.

Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.

Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.

Speaking of face...

When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.

After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.

Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.

TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.

TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~

But disaster struck.

I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.

But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.

I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.

I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).

Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.

:I

He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.

It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.

Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).

If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"

(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)

So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.

I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:

I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.

However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)

I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.

Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.

Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.

Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.

I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.

In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.

I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~

(The wig from other angles.)

Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.

The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.

Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.

I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.

If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.

His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.

Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.

So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.

I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.

The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.

I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.

If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.

The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.

Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.

My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.

(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)

Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.

So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)

I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.

In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?

But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~

[asleepinawell]

i cancelled my subscription to ad free tumblr due to the absurd price hike. i'd originally subscribed because i grew up in a time before the proliferation of advertising-driven websites (we had sketchy porn ad banners that gave you malware but that was about it) and i just. fucking. hate. seeing ads. and everything they stand for in terms of privacy and capitalism. before i was using a combo of pcap and personalDNS to zap the ads in the app which mostly worked but required constant maintenence. i just don't have the energy for it so when my subscription runs out next month i'll probably be switching to the very buggy and slow mobile browser which ultimately means using tumblr less

i don't think driving people off the app is what the decision makers at tumblr expected to happen with the price hike, but here we are. having been an early adopter both because i hate ads and because i believe a site beholden to its users' money rather than advertisers' is a better site (we are currently the product and not the customer), the additional fee feels slimey. tumblr said that they hadn't gotten enough subscribers to make a difference. i'm unclear how trying to squeeze more money from the people who do subscribe will change this (the "features" it's adding are not one i need or want and as of today 01/26 there aren't multiple tiers available)

unfortunately due to the low adoption of the ad free subscribers we don't have much leverage (since people on this site look for the worst interpretation of every sentence let me state that this is not an admonishment of those who didn't subscribe. okay? okay. moving on), but companies tend to cry and scream at even small profit losses these days, and, more accurately, at a failure to endlessly increase profits, an unrealistic and severally damaging goal

so basically what I'm saying is cancel that shit. don't buy shit on their store. and then tell them why in feedback (i have already done this and will again soon). we have very little leverage, but we should use every bit of it

tumblr has been a great community for fandom (due to the users, not the owners), and, as I've frequently stated, one of the best posting formats for it. both the fandom and the online queer community I've found here have been lifesaving at times, no exaggeration. certain other social media companies we all know are currently embracing a fascist government here in the US and i wouldn't be shocked if automattic follows suit (see: the ongoing mistreatment of trans women here). even if it doesn't, the general decline in community in favor of "content" consumption and AI bullshit (yes this includes char ai. stop that shit. i faced wildfire evacuations recently due to the global warming the ai servers are accelerating. i have fucking had it with you selfish assholes. you are actively endangering people with this bullshit no matter how you try to justify it) has hurt everyone and made posting things less appealing (there at other factors here, like censorship culture, but i digress)

basically there are a lot of reasons for me to use this platform less now. which sucks. I'm not going to vanish or stop posting completely, but my motivation to use this platform is at an all time low. being forced to see ads on top of all the other shit is just the latest enraging bullshit and i'm putting my money (or withholding thereof) where my typing finger is

[sillywabbits]

👉👈 ...does anyone else kinda wish Tumblr had an option that allowed you to hide the Note count on posts? Like, just a completely optional thing each user can toggle on/off according to their comfort/preference. Kinda like how insta gives you the option to view the number of likes, or just hide the number completely.

Lil' RSD vent/feeling share below. No pressure to read. Just been meaning to put my feelings down somewhere;

It's just.. for me personally, my mean RSD ridden brain overthinks when I see numbers.. constantly putting me in a state of comparing myself.. or question the appeal of my work.. or making me feel like my value as an artist is measured by that count. And maybe it partly ties into my own weird insecure, self worth feelings. But mostly just.. it makes me get caught in my brain about if my art is even likable or decent enough to be appealing? Or annoying for people to look at? Or.. if the kind of stuff I make isn't a lot of people's cup of tea? I draw nothing but fluffy mush. My brain makes me anxious and insecure if that's boring or.. not interesting enough for others to like. I don't really dabble in angst or what my brain has deemed the, "cooler content."

I know rationally I nor anyone can draw to appease everyone. As I would tell anyone else feeling these types of things, someone out there will enjoy what you do. (And I've met some super kind of people who have said immensely sweet and endearing things about my stuff. And I thank you endlessly for it! /gen 💞)

And ultimately you should just draw what makes you happy to make yourself happy. Draw for yourself first and foremost.

..but

I wish my brain wouldn't emotionally rely on engagement from others for motivation to make art. I wish drawing things that make me happy, and the joy of making it in general was enough to motivate me better.

I don't think this is helped by how slowwww my art process is, and how my undiagnosed ADHD really makes it hard for me to will myself to draw as often as I'd like. My muse comes in spurts, one drawing/sketch can take me days to finish. And after all the energy and time it took, I think maybe I emotionally take things harder and am susceptible to getting disheartened/sensitive when my brain locks in on that number count. Making it a little harder to muster up more desire and energy to wanna draw again.

Sometimes thoughts of, 'when there are so many people that make the things you like to make, and it already exists and they're so cool, good and special for it.. why should you bother trying?'

And as a disclaimer, these are just anxiety-ridden thoughts! I don't think I fully 100% actually believe them!

They're just the thoughts my brain likes to bring to the forefront sometimes. When I'm experiencing RSD or feeling insecure/anxious. (I think these feelings can feel bigger maybe due to how my neurodivergency can affect me too.)

And god is it such a double standard. If any fellow person were sharing similar types of thoughts/feelings, I would have 101 ways to rebuttal and assure those mean thoughts of theirs away.

..but it's so hard to apply to same exact advice/care toward yourself. It's harder when it's you on the inside. You brain has made you feel like you're the exception. Like you don't deserve that same assurance for some reason. (Not saying this is true; just.. how my mean brain likes to talk at me fjdk /hj)

Again, I want to emphasize these aren't rational thoughts. They're just the feelings that get welled up inside me when I feel insecure. (It's one of many talking points I'd love the opportunity to bring up when I'm fortunate enough to get myself a therapist lol <3)

--

💕~Thank you dearly to anyone who was curious and felt they were in a place to read all this. They're just feelings that have been burrowed inside me I haven't really put out there yet. I know this community is super sweet and supportive, which is why I love being here. But I couldn't help feel a bit shy about sharing this stuff.

[chasingshadowsblog]

"If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together!" - Rambling on with 'The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug'

As the road goes ever on and on, The Desolation of Smaug shows the first signs of the trilogy losing the run of itself. The strain to make three films out of one short book plus bonus content at the back of another shows its colours in the addition of new characters, more sub-plots and over-extended action sequences. As someone who loves these films and wants to champion the things they did so well, it feels like a disservice to point out the flaws in the system. The story seems, however, that much of what bothered me in this film (and its follow-up) were not all creative decisions, but often studios trying to shape the story into something it isn't. As a result, the better aspects of the story outside of the main plot - like Gandalf's quest to track down the Necromancer, the expansion of Thranduil and Bard, the introduction of Tauriel - get lost in the hodge-podge of flimsy additional content and awkward pacing, then over-looked when considering the quality of the trilogy overall. Still, The Desolation of Smaug continues to entertain and is at its best when it sticks with the characters we began the adventure with in An Unexpected Journey. Bilbo's growth as a protagonist, Gandalf's search for the Necromancer and Thorin's increasing desperation are all equally compelling and well-executed arcs that carry the heart, the adventure and the technical wizardry of the movie along with them.

The Desolation of Smaug begins with a prologue depicting the first meeting between Gandalf and Thorin, in which the wizard convinces Thorin to take Erebor back from Smaug. Given that it had been some time since I'd last seen the film, it took me a while to realise that the version I watched for this essay was the the extended edition. What I was glad to realise, though, is that some of the parts that bothered me most were added on and not the original intention. The first of these occurs in the prologue; an additional scene of the Battle of Azanulbizar that introduces Thorin's father, Thrain. There is nothing bad about the flashback itself, but I do believe it weakens a really tight scene by regurgitating more shots of the battle and giving us another thread to keep track of in the disappearance of Thrain (a sub-plot that only exists in the extended edition). The flashback to the war and Thrain's presumed demise distracts from the more important details being conveyed. Otherwise, the prologue is excellent. The setting looks great and the relay of information between Gandalf and Thorin is snappy and well-achieved through the dialogue and performances. "…a chance meeting between Gandalf and Thorin that changed all of the fortunes of the house of Durin…" is another snippet fleshed out from the appendices and, here, Gandalf reveals his true motivation for sending Thorin on the quest while more significance is attached to the Arkenstone. Although this information was provided in the first film, the prologue re-establishes the urgency of the journey and ties the two points together - Gandalf needs the Dwarves to take back the mountain and Thorin needs the Arkenstone to rally the Dwarves behind him.

The next extended scene is the introduction of Beorn, or, rather, Beorn's introduction to the Dwarves, two by two, while Gandalf tries to sweet-talk him. Unlike the Thrain scene, this is a moment taken directly from the book but a rare one that was executed poorly; the main reason for this is that it's silly. Comparatively, another silly scene - the dinner scene in An Unexpected Journey - works because of its light tone. Here, the Dwarves have been attacked by Orcs, Thorin was nearly killed by Azog, and they are still on the run; the intended humour of Gandalf revealing the Dwarves two by two clashes with the serious energy of the chase. The theatrical version jumps straight from the chase to the Company waking up and meeting Beorn the next morning when he tells them about his past as a slave, the darkness of Mirkwood and his disdain for Orcs, maintaining the dark tone of the movie so far. This transition is far smoother without the added scene, which is jarring and clunky in its tone and editing. "I remember a time when a great evil ruled these lands…If that enemy has returned to Middle-Earth, I would have you tell me." I also take issue with this scene because it belittles the power and dignity given the Dwarves in the last film and Beorn in his following scenes. An additional scene that does knit well into the film is Beorn and Gandalf's discussion of the Witch-King of Angmar, "And what does Gandalf the Grey say?" This moment cements Beorn's place in Middle-Earth as an old, experienced character, wise to the changes occuring in the world. It delves deeper into the history of the wars surrounding Sauron and the Ring and gives Gandalf an urgent enough reason to leave the group. This short scene is more of The Hobbit at its finest; the brief addition of the Witch King of Angmar's burial is unobtrusive and at least adds more weight to the story. It is also very well shot and very creepy in its tone and aesthetic - we don't often see something that explicitly unsettling in the series. In contrast, the introduction scene is rushed, poorly edited and tacked on, taking away from the gravitas achieved by Mikail Persbrandt in his short time onscreen.

While I'm on the subject of tacked on, unnecessarily extended material, let's take a look at one of my least favourite aspects of The Hobbit trilogy: the butchering of Legolas Greenleaf.

(I'm using this image facetiously.)

Had Legolas' involvement in this trilogy been confined to the Dwarves' capture in Mirkwood I would have no problem with it; my main issue is not with his screentime, however, but with his characterisation. Legolas in The Hobbit is jealous, aloof and gruff with none of the warmth he shared with his friends in The Lord of the Rings. His presence throughout The Desolation of Smaug (and Battle of the Five Armies) feels less like a fun nod to a beloved character (as Elijah Wood's cameo was) and more like nostalgia being agressively shoved in our faces. Legolas in Lord of the Rings can be serious, but this is contrasted with moments of levity in his love for Aragorn and Gimlí and his care for the Hobbits. Although he makes decisions that ultimately help the Dwarves, his motivations for doing so lie in either his feelings for Tauriel or his completely different feelings for Orcs. Neither of which are bad reasons, of course - he even chooses Tauriel's well-being over his father's orders in a welcome display of loyalty - but I still can't help but feel that this is a completely different character. Legolas' shoe-horning into the plot is an example of weak and blatant fan-service rather than a treat; his presence is all flash and no substance. In forcing his role, they lose everything that made him a beloved character by prioritising the things that made him a "cool" one.

This film marks the continued growth of Thorin's respect for and reliance on Bilbo. What's interesting is that Bilbo himself doesn't change all that much (except for perhaps growing more confident) he just has more opportunities to prove himself. Throughout the Mirkwood sequence, Bilbo's practicality and sense contrasts nicely with the more reactive Dwarves. When they're tripping balls in the forest he has the sense to climb a tree to find out where they are (I love how you can almost feel the fresh air clearing his head). Free from the fog of Mirkwood, he is able to rescue the Company from the spiders then follow them to Thranduil's palace wearing the Ring after they're captured by the Elves. Bilbo appears to the rescue (again) and helps the gang escape from the Mirkwood dungeons. In An Unexpected Journey the Company were faced with obstacles they could fight their way out of and Bilbo always needed to be protected or saved. The one chance he had to use his wits to get him out of a situation - the riddle game - no one else was there to see it. Here more thought and patience is required and each time Bilbo arrives to help the Dwarves his ideas are validated by Thorin - "Please, please, you must trust me!" "Do as he says." And each time the trust between Thorin and Bilbo grows, "If Thorin Oakenshield gives his word then he will keep it."

The Desolation of Smaug suffers most from being the second movie in a trilogy that was initially meant only to be two. Even though there's a lot to like, it's mostly setting up the major conflicts for the next film, namely: Thorin and Bilbo's relationship and Thorin's destructive obsession. This second one we see in his almost dismissive behaviour towards Kíli's injury given how close they are to the mountain, "Kíli's wounded, his leg needs binding." "There's an Orc pack on our tail, we keep moving…Bind his leg quickly, you have two minutes." Neither of these are complaints and both are set up well. However, in order to fabricate storylines for an entire third movie, pacing takes a major blow in both. The climax of this movie should be heading for, wait for it…the desolation of Smaug; by all rights, the Elves and Orcs shouldn't feature again in this story after the barrel chase until the Battle of the Five Armies. By giving them bigger roles, they now have to stay in tune with the main quest, causing a drag. In a similar way the issue of the game of hide and seek between Smaug and the Dwarves later on lies in its effect on the pacing rather than the scene itself. I don't hate this scene as so many others appear to; I like seeing more of the layout of Erebor and some of the visual elements. I would give all of that up in a second to have Smaug's attack on Laketown and his death occur in this film. Relegating this hugely important moment to the prologue of Battle of the Five Armies is incredibly anti-climactic, terribly paced and disappoints on the terrifying force that was promised at the beginning of An Unexpected Journey. The potential impact and emotional punch of believing that the hard part is over only for a huge battle to come is taken away by having Smaug's death take place at the beginning of a movie, not the end; there is no time for the characters to rest and believe the mission is complete. Another reason this decision is so disappointing is that, on a technical scale, Smaug is magnificent to watch and Benedict Cumberbatch does such a wonderful job in his performance. Smaug is a triumph on-screen and you want every moment he's on it to be a grand affair. The scale and terror of the dragon is achieved perfectly in the first scene we see him in fully, his meeting with Bilbo.

"I promised I would do this and I think I must try." The run up to this meeting is lovely. Bilbo, who has grown a taste for adventure and a fondness for the Dwarves, won't give up when it seems like their deadline has passed and the "last light of Durin's day" has disappeared. When the door finally opens Bilbo is almost immediately sent to look for the Arkenstone, "No one's home."

But the real star of this show is the fire-breathing dragon.

"There is something about you. Something you carry, something made of gold…but far more precious…" The films thus far had done a good job of giving us only glimpses of Smaug so when he finally reveals his full size to poor Bilbo the pay off is more than substantial. To add more to the role, Cumberbatch performed Smaug's upper body through motion-capture, and his movements are reptilian in the way he weaves around the space, but also nearly feline in his sniffing out of Bilbo. Either way it is predatory and while this scene could be considered a companion piece to the riddle game, Smaug is a far more intelligent sparring partner than Sméagol/Gollum. He is aware that Bilbo is flattering him to stay alive, he knows there are Dwarves outside, he knows that Bilbo is looking for the Arkenstone, and he is enjoying the game on a far more complex level than Bilbo's former opponent, "I am almost tempted to let you take it, if only to see Oakenshield suffer, watch it destroy him, watch it corrupt his heart and drive him mad." Smaug's nature as a dragon in Tolkien's world is one of pride, greed and vanity, so even though he is aware that Bilbo's flattery is empty, he still relishes hearing it and wants to show himself off. Smaug is a prideful creature, but underneath his bravado - his anger, greed, and pride - is fear and when his intelligence is challenged by Bilbo and the Dwarves he turns into a reactive animal. When Bilbo pretends he knows nothing about any Dwarves, he erupts and attacks him; after Thorin's failed attempt to kill him, he turns his anger on Laketown, "Did you think I did not know this day would come? When a pack of counting Dwarves would come crawling back to the mountain?" At the first sign of threat, he chases Bilbo and boasts of the deaths he inflicted on the Dwarves in the past, "The King Under the Mountain is dead! I took his throne, I ate his people like a wolf among sheep! I kill where I wish, WHEN I wish! My armour is iron…my teeth are spears. My wings are a hurricane." He then follows this up by trying to make Bilbo question his trust in Thorin. Everything about Smaug is so perfectly displayed in these scenes; each moment is rich in dialogue, character and tension. Intercut with scenes in Laketown and the Dwarves outside the mountain, the dragon's attack on Laketown would have been very nicely built up - if it had happened in this movie.

Despite its extra padding, The Desolation of Smaug remains engaging throughout. The action is bumbling but fun to watch and Richard Armitage and Ian McKellan are subtly brilliant in their sub-plots, while Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman offer some truly great moments. Unfortunately, it also marks the beginning of the additional storylines and characters that will weigh down The Battle of the Five Armies. Bard and Thranduil represent the better end of the spectrum.

In the book, Bard is a random voice in the crowd until he is revealed to be, conveniently, the descendant of the former king of Dale; his character has a fairytale quality about him - the princess restored to the kingdom at last. In the movies, Bard is a father and, though rebellious, is content to remain where he is in life. Really, he's not even rebellious, he just doesn't suffer fools gladly and does what he must to protect people from those fools. These traits combined influence his actions as the things and people he defies grow in scale: from sneaking the Dwarves past Alfrid, to trying to stop Thorin, and, finally, to attempting to kill the dragon. The steps taken to turn Bard into the leader he has to be in the next film are well-established here so that when he does take up the mantle - out of necessity rather than desire - the journey is believable.

On the scale of good-to-bad character additions, one who falls in the middle is Tauriel. I find Tauriel refreshing, she is emotive and optimistic and represents a challenge to the surly Thranduil. Honestly, I think the most boring aspect of her character is that she's a good fighter; shoving her into a romantic sub-plot (unwanted by actress Evangeline Lily as well as Jackson) also lets her character down. Tauriel's desire in The Desolation of Smaug to flush out the darkness across the world as well as in Mirkwood is a far more compelling storyline than her falling in love with Kíli, and this thread is lost as her motive becomes more focused on saving the Dwarf. In a lot of ways, Tauriel reminds me of (the real) Legolas in Lord of the Rings, and, if he had to be in it at all, I think it would have been interesting to see Legolas play a reduced version of this role. Finding and rooting out the growing evil in Middle-Earth, coinciding with the Dwarves quest, would have made more sense in his journey to Lord of the Rings than the great leap in character we were given. Especially when both Elves' stories end with Legolas leaving to go do good in the world and Tauriel left crying over Kíli's body, and then…who knows? Tauriel herself is not a problem, but it is rather how badly her role is wasted. Evangeline Lily's performance is earnest and I really wanted to see her go on a similar path to Legolas' at the end - a life spent helping to stamp out evil in the world as was her wish from the beginning, "It is our fight. It will not end here. With every victory this evil will grow…We will hide within our walls, live our lives away from the light and let darkness descend. Are we not part of this world?"

(Love her.)

Where The Desolation of Smaug utterly fails in its additional characters is in the Master and Alfrid. These two characters have such a negative impact on the films that they don't just bore me, they make me angry. With Elves, Orcs and a dragon already acting as obstacles and antagonists, Alfrid and the Master don't serve as anything more than a nuisance, the petty human antagonists that harass people everyday. They fit this role well, but not this world and far too much time is spent establishing them as villains. So much else is already going on that their presence cuts away the tension of the main piece. The thing that bothers me most is that, outside of the Master agreeing, under pressure, to help the Dwarves, neither have an effect on the storyline. Bard being thrown into prison is a contrivance designed to add tension that also doesn't have an effect on the plot because he gets out anyway. Alfrid and the Master are a dead weight dragging down what is otherwise a fun movie.

I'm concerned about sounding overly negative because I really do love this movie, and it's because I do that I find the few problems I have with it so frustrating - there is a sense throughout of things that could have been avoided, turning a good movie into a great one. All of the actors do a fantastic job; while Freeman continues to shine in every scene he's in, Benedict Cumberbatch stands out with the insidious terror he brings to Smaug ("Polite menace. That'll be my brand.") and Richard Armitage begins to tread the line between normal and obsessive that will become full-blown in Battle of the Five Armies. On a technical level, the set design is outstanding with Dol Guldur, the sick, drained forest of Mirkwood, and the majesty of the Dwarven kingdom standing out, as well as the sound design in the Mirkwood scene. The new characters and storylines provide some hits and misses with Bard, Tauriel and Thranduil representing the hits.

At the end of the day, The Desolation of Smaug's job as the second installment of the trilogy is to set up for the final round, and, with the exception of Smaug's ending, it does this very well. Between Gandalf's sub-plot in Dol Guldur and Bard's in Laketown, the pieces are put in place for the battle to come; Thorin's continued faith in Bilbo and growing desperation leading to the sickness are allowed to grow in bits and pieces so the intensity of both feelings he displays later on is unsurprising. Overall, The Desolation of Smaug is a lot of fun to watch; it has fewer moments of brilliance than An Unexpected Journey but doesn't become mired in over indulgent action sequences and additional storylines as Battle of the Five Armies does.

[shotanzz]

idt it’s just me but I’ve been hearing hearsay that Anton has been super hard to read recently bcs of heartbreak. I actually asked one of non briize irl friends to do a reading for him and she’s felt his energy be closed off and heartbroken since February. Whether it’s romantic heartbreak is smth else but apparently there’s a high chance it could be? And could have apparently had a A LOT to do with his dating scandal and “New Jersey girlfriend” back home. How do you feel about his energy rn?

based on his current transits alone Anton is more than likely going through a time of transformation and changes within his life that are turbulent and in a way exhausting

more under the cut

pluto is aspecting his ascendant, venus and mars

his sense of self and how he showcases himself to the world, overall aesthetics, relationships and dynamics…as well as his drive motivation and desires for this moment of his life are changing most likely for the better

are all these changes -bad- necessarily..probably not all bad but change can be very uncomfortable or scary especially when it’s unprecedented or not calculated within your own boundaries . and this doesn’t mean that Anton is generally unhappy or displeased with life but there could be significant changes happening.

neptune is squaring his midheaven..he might feel worried or insecure about how his private life or personal issues might affect his career or image so it could possibly be about the scandal from back at that time

his moon is aspecting jupiter AND chiron..there are big deep feelings emerging and coming to the surface he has to sit with them privately to make sure they don’t spill out and bleed onto his work and outside dynamics. but it will be VERY beneficial for him to feel them out and release them

luckily his sun is sextile saturn which sounds like it would add an overbearing weight of responsibility but it’s rather giving him discipline and a sense of stability to work through this without it affecting his outside life

he might possibly be dealing with a power struggle atm between with who..im not sure yet..it could even be between him and himself

im not sure if it exactly has to do with the scandal from some time back i'd have to look back at transits from then (I probably wont bc its clear this is something he'd want private)

all I’ll say is that for readers especially tarot readers at this time if you attempt to do readings on anton be very considerate of his energy AND his energy’s consent and if it feels like you’re not getting let in or that you’re hitting a wall it’d be best to back away until you feel his energy is opened