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riverlikethelake · 2 years ago

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A Long Way Home pt.3

Aonung x Omatikayan!Fem!Reader

Summary – You and Ao'nung fail miserably at trying to stay away from each other, unfortunately, that means your parents are quick to notice...

Contains: complex parental relationships, heavy development on platonic/family relationships, fluff, angst, Avatar TWOW spoilers (i feel like thats obvious but wtv)

Word count: 5.8k (I'm a few days late so i panicked a wrote a lot...)

pt.1 pt.2 ... pt.4 pt.5

Will probably do one or two more parts :))

(the song will come in later :) )

You opted out of lessons for the day, honestly you haven’t needed them for a while, you just liked being with the group, but now you and Ao’nung have a facade to keep up. You sat in the Marui weaving the necklace, even though you were frustrated with Neteyam right now, you still wanted to make this.

You’re sure that these projects shouldn’t take this long, but it was your first one, so you gave yourself some grace.

"So this is where you’ve been hiding out all day?” You look up to see Lo’ak standing at the entrance. You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, unliked someone, I can afford to miss a few lessons” you teased.

He threw his side bag at you, causing you to laugh, before he sat down across from you. “Ao’nung looked like a lost puppy without you around” he quipped; you resisted the urge to smile. “And you’re over here pouting like a child.” you rolled your eyes again

“I am not pouting, I am wishing that you would leave me be.” You kicked at him and he put his hands in the air.

“All right all right, I won't bother you anymore.” He laughed, dodging your kicks, but you landed one on his chest which pushed him on his back. “You are the meanest sister Y/n” he grumbled as you laughed.

It was hard to ignore Ao’nung, he was always around, and he did kind of look like a lost puppy... usually you would banter or explore the reef together, but now he stuck with Rotxo and you with Neteyam and Kiri. Stealing glances at each other and finding flowers in ‘out of the ordinary’ places became a routine, as did meeting at the edge of the reef every night.

You’re sure that your family is growing suspicious of your nightly disappearances by now, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Lying on the rocks stargazing with Ao’nung quickly became what you looked forward to everyday. You talked about anything and everything, life in the forest, growing up in the reef, family. Whatever you could talk about, you would.

“Our parents talked to each other about us.” Ao’nung stated, you sat up and looked at him, confusion splayed across your face. “Apparently, we are a ‘bad influence’ on each other...” he smirked

Ao’nung stayed lying on his back. You furrowed your brows, “But we haven’t even spoken to each other for days, at least in front of others”

“Your parents say I've caused you to be too moody” He laughed, you rolled your eyes and smacked his chest.

“Well, what about you lover boy? What bad influence have I had on you?” you teased, getting close to his face.

Hs smile dropped and he looked away awkwardly, before you could question it you noticed a dark spot on his cheek. With how dark it was, you hadn't noticed until you were this close. You grabbed his face and turned it to get a better look, he protested but you had already seen it.

“Ao’nung is this a bruise?” You questioned urgently, you looked him in the eyes, but he kept them averted. You frowned “Ao’nung...” you pleaded.

He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, “I uh...” you nodded for him to continue. “Mom and dad say that you’ve caused me to get into too many fights...”

This was the first you were hearing of this... “What are you talking about?” you moved closer, placing a hand on his bruised cheek “Does this have to do with my brothers?” you asked, ready to chew out the sully that couldn’t butt out of your business.

“No no it’s not them” he sighed, pausing for a moment. “There were some guys talking about you and Kiri and... well they weren’t being respectful” you didn’t want to know what he meant by that. “I don’t know, I tried to ignore it, but they started asking me questions about you and-” he gestured to his face.

You frowned and cupped his face in your hands, “Atleast they look worse” he added, amused. You rolled your eyes.

“You do not have to defend me, we’re supposed to be mad at each other remember?” You sat back and he leaned forward.

“I know but I couldn’t just let them talk like that about you and your sister...” he was only inches away from your face, you smiled. He went from being what you needed to be defended from from, to being the defender.

If you had told yourself a year ago that you’d be sneaking around and lying to your family for some boy who almost got your brother killed, she’d be feeding your head to your mothers ikran…

“Well please be careful next time” you placed a kiss on the bruise “now it's not just my brother against us...”

He smiled and grabbed your wrists, pulling you forward as he laid back down. You landed on his chest, a chuckle escaping your throat before you nestled into his side, arm wrapped around you. You could hear his heart beating, this was the closest you had ever been, you swore you could have fallen asleep like this.

You didn’t talk about Spider much, aside from conversations with Kiri and Jake comforting you, it was a touchy subject. Neytiri always tried to hide her scowl when he came up in conversation, Neteyam and Lo’ak didn’t have much to say other than they missed him. It was like he was supposed to be forgotten.

You knew he wasn’t technically a part of the family, he was raised by the lab guys, but so were you. The more you thought about it, the more it bothered you. Spider was your brother, and they just kind of brushed off your worry about him.

“He is human. He will be fine” Neytiri would always say. Neteyam and Lo’ak repeating the same sentiment, just more sympathetic and reassuring.

What If I was the one that got caught?

You wanted to ask them, but you were scared, of their reaction, their answer... so you didn’t.

But you wondered, and the more you did, the more you came to the conclusion that they probably wouldn’t have done much to get you back. You know that you're not the same as Spider, but how would Jake and Neytiri view it?

It was useless thinking about it, harmful even, you knew that, but you couldn’t help it. So you found yourself spending more time with Kiri, she was the only one who could understand the heartbreak you harbored over your brother's capture.

Out in broad daylight it was hard to have a private conversation in such a bustling village, so Kiri called for her ikran and held out her hand for you to mount after her. You raised a brow questioningly but took her hand before she had to explain.

Before you knew it, you were flying above the village, circling as you closed your eyes and breathed in the air. It had been so long since you’d flown, spending most of your time swimming or in the Marui. Kiri did a few more laps before landing atop the mountains on the island, the view of the trees was somewhat nostalgic...

“I thought you’d like it up here” She commented, placing her hand on your shoulder as you both sat on the edge, legs dangling far above ground.

“I don’t know why I never thought of this” you breathed, your shoulders relaxing, you didn't even know you were tense.

“Well, you were a little distracted” she bumped her shoulder against yours, you swatted her away, blushing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you denied, and she laughed

“I am not dumb sister. Our brothers may not notice the looks he gives you but sooner or later they will” she smirks, leaning in closer. You look away and continue to deny her accusations, it grows quiet for a second and your mind drifts back to spider, Kiri notices your change in demeanor.

“Y/n you know I was just teasing you right?” she offers, placing her hand on your shoulder. you shake your head “No I know Kiri, I just...” placing your hand over hers “I miss my brother...” you whisper.

She breathes out and scoots closer, you lay your head on her shoulder and she moves both your hands to the ground, still holding onto each other. “I know, I do too.” Is all she says, she doesn’t try to overcompensate or comfort you about how he’ll be fine, she just understands.

That’s what you always liked about Kiri, even when you were upset over something stupid or didn’t even understand your own feelings, she listened and understood. You were both adopted by the Sullys with scientist mothers loyal to the Na’vi, granted, Kiri was adopted from birth and had her mothers recording to connect with, but the fact still remains that theres more than just being ‘family’ connecting you.

“I remember when we were little and he’d always try and carry you around” She started, “Norm and Max didn’t trust him, but you begged and begged to go outside, they could never say no to you.” you giggled at the memory.

“Of course, Neteyam and Lo’ak would start arguing about how they’d be better fit to carry you” she drawled, you could practically hear how she rolled her eyes.

“And I'd get so sick of it that I'd just end up running off or getting carried by you.” you added.

“Lo’ak would complain that you were slowing us down but back home he’d whine to mom about not being the one to look after you” she giggled

“I still don’t get why it was such a big deal” You mumbled

“You were curious about the world, you took it all in like you were one with it” Kiri explained “Max was so protective though, you barely got any time out, so when you did, we didn’t want anything happening that could confine you back to the lab” she played with the ends of your hair as she spoke. “And none of us trusted the others to not mess it up.”

You thought for a moment before sitting up and laughing “So all of that was just a way to one up each other?” you threw your head back “No wonder you guys kept it going when I became Na’vi”

She laughs with you, “Your brothers are all stupid” she states, playfully punching your shoulder “And old habits die hard, I don’t think Neteyam ever gave up”

You smiled “Teyam is...” you thought for a moment “my twin. I might just have to get used to it” you shrugged, a grin spreading across both your faces.

“Well, if you ever need a moment to not be used to it” She leaned in “I think I'm the only one who knows about this place” she whispers playfully, like she’s telling you a secret in a crowd of people, before winking.

You lamely stuck out your tongue as she snickered. Before anything else could be said, the horn that signals the return of dinner hunters sounded, you looked at each other before getting up and mounting her Ikran.

You decided to sit with Lo’ak in one of the village dinner circles, you’re not sure why, but you were surprised to see Tsireya and Ao’nung among the group. You were almost directly across from Ao’nung, and it was hard to resist scooting closer to him.

“Can he stop ogling at you?” Lo’ak leans in to ask, you roll your eyes “Maybe when you stop ogling his sister”

He scrunches his nose “I’m just saying it's weird, you guys have been at each other's throats for days and now he can’t keep his eyes off of you?” He questions, raising his brows, his argument is reasonable, but you’d rather not encourage him. You just shrug and go back to tearing up your fish to eat.

“Hey maybe he’s into that” He adds, jabbing his elbow into your side.

You whip your head around to him, eyes widened, mouth agape, a sound of disbelief escaping your mouth. He only laughs and picks up a piece of your fish, placing it in your mouth and closing it with his hand.

You spit the food at him, and it was your turn to laugh as he frowned at you. Tsireya laughed at the interaction between you two and Lo’ak’s scowl fell into a bashful smile as they shared glances at eachother. You made eye contact with Rotxo and Ao’nung, you rolled your eyes as they smirked at Lo’ak’s awkward crush.

“Maybe I ought to tell her you’re into that huh?” you chuckled into his ear, bringing back his scowl, he flipped you off before swatting you away.

You spent dinner chatting away with the Metkayina your age, and Lo’ak reminding you multiple times to “eat or your food will get cold” or a finger in front of your lips that pointed down to your food as soon as you stopped talking.

Tsireya complimented you on your tweng, sparking a conversation on weaving and accessories. You shared stories of the different bracelets and additions to your necklace, how you helped Neytiri weave Tuk’s first clothes, and when she outgrew them Neytiri wove a piece of it into your necklace before it was repurposed.

She showed you the beads from her first underwater ceremony she performed under her mother, with this, others joined in. Rotxo telling the story of the bones on his necklace, Lo’ak showed off the teeth of his first kill in the forest, Tsireya listening intently. Ao’nung spoke of the beads on his armband and the giant tooth woven into his necklace. the one he took off and insisted you wear while together just the night before.

The conversation was lively and shifted from topic to topic, until some started to yawn and parents came to collect their children, until only a few of you were left. Rotxo and Ao’nung shoved at each other as Tsireya and Lo’ak were immersed in a conversation about the forest, others continued their conversations. You stared up to the sky before a smile fell on your lips and stood up.

You walked around the group, as you passed by Ao’nung you flicked his back with your tail. You kept walking but glanced back and made eye contact with him, you smiled and continued to the shoreline on the other side of the village. You sat in the sand drawing for a few minutes before you heard him coming.

“Took you long enough” you teased, standing up to be face to face with him.

“I didn’t want to be too obvious” He twirled the hair that framed your face with his finger. Grinning, you took a step back.

“I think it’s a little unfair” You drawled, taking slow steps backwards, “That i've learned to swim” with every step you took back, he took one forward. You stopped and you were face to face again “but you haven't learned to fly”

His face dropped; your grin only grew wider.

You resisted the urge to yell as you shot through the air, Ao’nung’s hands holding onto your hips tightly. It was dark but not so dark that you couldn’t see, you flew out past the village and reef. Tsyía cried out, it had probably been a while since she had stretched her wings like this. A smile etched onto your face as you soared through the air. Last time you were over the ocean you were filled with dread, now all you can feel exhilaration.

You couldn’t help the cheers and laughter that escaped you as you accelerated, the waves below you crashed into each other, the sound reminding you of thunder, spraying water on your skin. Slowly you ascend upwards, the ocean now far below you.

“How ya doing back there fishlips?” you smirked.

“I’ll be fine as long as we don't faAA-” you cut him when Tsyía jerked down suddenly, leveling just above the ocean and tilting to the side so the tip of her wing could glide against the water. You laughed as his grip tightened and he jumped closer to you. When he realized what you did, he smacked you on the side of the head.

You snickered “Don’t worry, I won't let you fall” you titled your head back to look at him, delighted look on your face. He still looked uneasy, but he nodded with a smile, he placed his hand on your thigh and wrapped his other arm completely around your waist.

Admittedly, the position was much more secure and comfortable, but you shifted, his skin on yours felt like fire compared to the cool air nipping at you.

You leaned forward more as Tsyía started to circle, not wanting to stray too far from the village. You let your body hang towards the sea as she started to tilt, the circles getting tighter, spurring on her speed. You laughed, thrill and adrenaline buzzing through your veins.

As Tsyía twisted to the point you were almost upside down, out of the corner of your eye you saw Ao’nung reach down and graze the surface of the water with his fingers. Thank Eywa you secured both of you to the saddle.

You noticed it was starting to get late, so you decided it was time to start heading back to the village, a shame since Ao’nung had just started to let loose. You evened out and made a steady pace back to the reef.

Your head fell back resting on Ao’nungs chest as you looked down at the ocean.

“It’s beautiful, isn't it?” You hummed, listening to his heart as it beat steadily.

“I can only wonder what the forest looks like” he pressed his lips to the side of your head. “You must show me one day” he whispered.

A smile grew on your face, you nodded, breathing in the air as it whipped against your face.

As you landed on a secluded part of the beach, you prepared to dismount but Ao’nung beat you to it. He stood to your side, wordlessly he held your hips in his hands and lifted you off and onto the ground, your hands landing on his shoulders for stability.

You pouted, insisting you could do it yourself but he simply laughed, leaning into whisper in your ear “I know.”

You weren't there when Kiri had her seizure, Neytiri and Ronal had taken through the island to collect difference herbs and plants, you ignored Ronal’s subtle remarks about you being too clumsy or ungraceful, it took another kind of patience to calm your mother so she wouldn’t attack the pregnant Tsahik.

You were sorting what you had collected when Neteyam and Rotxo came rushing into the Marui with Kiri in their arms, Jake not far behind them already making a call to the biolab. Before you could ask what happened, or even get a good look at your sister, you were ushered out of the Marui.

You stayed close to the entrance, peaking your ear in, you heard Neteyam explaining to Neytiri that she had a seizure under water.

That’s when you started to hyperventilate. Lo’ak noticed but Ao’nung was the first to act, pulling you into his arms and speaking to you softly, repeating instructions from your breathing lessons. His voice low and firm.

You weren’t calm at all, but you had your breathing under control now. Lo’ak placed a hand on your shoulder, telling you that the lab guys would be here soon, and Kiri would be fine.

It didn’t take long for Norm and Max to run their analysis, but Neytiri had grown impatient and brought Ronal to take over, trusting her position as Tsahik over any human technology. As they walked out of the Marui you perked up and ran over to them.

“Spell! Pa!” You called out to them. Growing up everyone called Max ‘Dr Patel’ and Norm ‘Spellman’, you of course being so young, couldn’t pronounce it and settled on just the ‘Spell’ and ‘Pa’ part. No one ever corrected you, so you never really grew out of it.

They turned around, their mood immediately changing once they saw you. Norm, being in his avatar, picked you up by the armpits and swung you around before placing you on the ground for a hug. “Birdie! How are ya kid?”

Just like how your brother was given his nickname because of how much he crawled around, you were called Birdie because of how you supposedly ‘squawked’ as a baby, you're just glad it didn’t stick like Spider’s did.

Max placed a hand on your arm before pulling you in for a hug, ironic how now you were the taller one.

“I’m good, just worried about Kiri” You pulled away they looked at you sympathetically. “Don’t worry kid, she’s gonna be fine”

You let them both place a kiss on your forehead before retreating to the Marui so they could talk with your dad. As you took your place next to Lo’ak, both he and Ao’nung were giving you amused looks.

“Birdie” They both questioned in unison, you rolled your eyes. “Something neither of you have the privilege of calling me” you state as you flick Lo’ak forehead.

Before either of them can say anything else, you hear Tuk exclaim that Kiri was awake. You peak inside to see your mother holding her hand, Tuk leaning over her, as she starts to cry.

It breaks your heart; you want nothing but to rush in and comfort her but you know she needs space, so you stay back. Lo’ak frowns the same as you rubs your shoulder saying he was right, that she is ok.

You lean back into Ao’nung’s chest as you gaze at your sister, he wraps his arms around you, placing his chin on your shoulder. You were to wrapped up in your sisters distress that you didn’t notice Ronal walking out of the Marui until she stopped in her place, glaring at your display.

“Son.” her voice is cold, Ao’nung jerks his head up, his ears immediately dropping. She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even acknowledge you, she just coldly glared at Ao’nung before nodding for him to follow her.

Wordlessly he lets go of you, he gives you an apologetic look before following his mother.

You can tell your heart is only going to break even further...

“What did I tell you son?!” His mother barked, he held his head down, his fists clenching.

“You do not reprimand Tsireya for hanging out with Lo’ak!” He points out.

“Tsireya is not starting fights and slacking on her work because of him.” His mother hisses. She circles around him, picking up his hand to show him his bruised knuckles. “That girl is inept, her connection to Eywa scant.”

He frowns “You cannot know that mother-!” “Do not talk back boy.” She cuts him off.

He helplessly looks to his father who has been observing the whole time, he sighs and stands up. “Ronal, dear, you are being hard on the boy”

“I am talking sense into him. He has already made a fool of us; I will not let the son of the Olo’eyktan court a forest girl when our Tsakarem is already a fool for the forest boy.” she snarled. Ao’nung dug his nails into his palms.

“They have come here to learn our ways and become reef people” Tonowari calmly stated, Ronal narrowed her eyes.

“You let them into our clan and now you let our children mingle with them.” Her voice was steady. “If it weren’t for Tsireya, that girl would be considered an option for Tsahik?”

“Mother! It is not like that” Ao’nung defends

She turns her attention back to him, hissing “I have seen you two, do not think your midnight escaped have gone unnoticed.”

Shit.

Ao’nung looked down, embarrassment coursing through his body.

“I have stayed quiet but I will no longer. Stay away from her.” She hisses before turning and leaving the Marui.

Ao’nung stands there, words caught in his throat. Tonowari places a hand on his shoulder. “Listen to your mother, son.”

You tried to not cry when Ao’nung didn’t show up that night, you knew it was probably his mother, but you still couldn’t help the shame and betrayal that stung at your heart. You waited for hours, you twirled the last flower he gifted you between your finger, the petals falling off wilted.

When you showed up at the pod in the middle of the night, tears running down your face, arms wrapped around yourself, you were surprised to see Neteyam and Kiri up. They were whispering about something, probably her seizure, but as soon as they saw you, it was long forgotten.

They soothed you and help you close as you cried, they didn’t ask what happened, they could probably guess pretty easily, they just cradled you until you fell asleep in their arms. Your face buried against Neteyam’s chest; Kiri’s arms wrapped around your middle.

You felt guilty for interrupting their conversation but the next morning they insisted it wasn’t a problem, that they were glad you came to them. So you spent your entire morning huddled in the corner of the Marui with Kiri, neither of you having the energy to socialize.

Maybe you were being dramatic but you really didn’t want to face Ao’nung or Ronal.

You and Kiri had talked about her seizure, how he was sure it was because of the questions she asked her mother, but that was it. You fell into a comfortable silence until Tuk can barreling in.

“Kiri! Y/n! C’mon you have to come see!!” She squeals, jumping up and down in the entrance. When neither of you seemed receptive, she came in and started dragging the both of you. Kiri protested until She got a glimpse of what was happening in the reef.

“The Tulkun are here!!” Tuk yelled. You stared in awe at the giant creatures filling the reef. Kiri and Tuk both jumped into the water, ready to meet the Tulkun, but you simply walked to the edge of the dock gaping at the sight.

“Y/n” you heard him say your name, you looked down nervously to see Ao’nung on his ilu in the water under you. “I am sorry about last night but please” he reached his hand out to you “Come meet my spirit brother” The apology in his eyes is genuine, you could tell it had pained him how you were visibly hurt and on edge.

Hesitantly, you took his hand and he pulled you down, quickly grabbing a hold of you to place you on the back of his ilu. His hand braced your thigh as he sped off into the crowd of Tulkun. You watched in amazement, the creatures circling far below and bonding with the Metkayina.

A Tulkun jumped out of the water, twisting as it fell back in, the children watching laughing and trying to copy the movement.

“There he is!” He exclaimed “My spirit brother!” He quickened his pace until a Tulkun broke the surface, stopping you both.

“Omui!” Ao’nung grinned “How are you” he placed his hand next to the Tulkun’s front eye. Omui responded with a noise that you couldn’t understand and Ao’nung laughed. “I have been fine, mother and father think I have caused too much trouble though” He signed as he spoke.

The Tulkun made another noise before it’s eyes shifted to you, you tensed up.

Ao’nung patted your thigh, “I want to introduce you to Y/n, she is a girl I have met...” His shy grin explaining more than his words, you blushed equally as hard.

Another noise was made, and you leaned closer to Ao’nung. “I have no idea what he is saying” you admitted

He grins at Omui before looking back at you “He says you are beautiful, that I have fine taste” you feel as if a volcano erupted in your face, a hand coming up to hide your shy smile.

Nervously you signed back “Thank you, you are just as beautiful” He cried out again with what you can only guess was amusement.

You laughed as Omui and Ao’nung shared stories with each other, slowly you started to understand the Tulkun. Tsireya and Lo’ak swam by to greet Omui, briefly talking about you and Ao’nung right in front of you.

You reached over an smacked Lo’ak every time he or Tsireya made a comment about it, ignoring his complaints of getting punished for what Tsireya says.

The rest of the day was spent celebrating, telling stories, and dancing. The music was played from the beach, many Na’vi joining in with their instruments and singing. Many danced atop the Tulkun, there were obviously more experienced dancers, as the seemed to be the focus, but plenty simply danced with each other song to song.

Tsireya and Rotxo insisted on you and your siblings joining them in a group dance. You weren’t completely clueless, as many of the songs and dances had been performed at feasts and other small celebrations, but you and Lo’ak still stumbled and ran into each other continuously, bickering about who’s fault it was.

Often you and Neteyam took turns dancing with Tuk, she jumped around with no regard to the beat or rhythm, until Kiri swept her up in her arms once she was tired out. This left you and Neteyam together, he clearly found amusement in how uncoordinated you were, but he always caught you and was patient when helping you stay with the beat when you fumbled.

Neteyam laughed as he watched the the dismay on your face when Ao’nung and Rotxo pulled you all along in a dance the required hopping from Tulkun to Tulkun, and many seemingly advanced steps. You screeched as you fell an embarrassing amount of times, but Teyam always covered for you, ‘falling’ far less gracefully more than a few times or catching you.

You were dizzy and tired out by the time you made it back to Omui, falling into the water when Lo’ak and Rotxo made an abrupt stop. You groaned and stated you wouldn’t dance anymore, they picked at you for a bit but eventually dispersed, leaving only you and Ao’nung who sat on his ilu with you while you regained your energy.

As it got closer to night, more mellow, soothing songs were played. Ao’nung grinned and held out his hand as he stood on top of Omui, recognizing which song would come next.

“What if we are seen?” You whispered, hesitating to take his hand.

He glanced around before turning back to you, reaching his hand out further “Then we are seen.”

(Play the song now I think?)

And with that you placed your hand in his and he pulls you up, you glance around and realize you’re now farther to the back of the reef. He wraps his arm around your waist and holds your hand in his, slowly swaying you both to the music.

You kept glancing around as people started whistling to the song, instruments playing in the background, but your attention snapped to Ao’nung when he started softly singing the lyrics.

Wasn’t really thinking, wasn’t looking, wasn’t searching for an answer

You stared at him, he continued to grin as he swayed you to the music.

In the moonlight. When I saw your face...

You bit back a smile as he leaned in closer

Saw you looking at me, saw you peeking out from under moon beams

There were plenty of actual performers on the beach singing, but it felt like all you could hear was him. His eyes were completely fixated on you.

Through the palm trees, swaying in the breeze.

He dipped you, moving your hand to his chest as your head fell back, a laugh escaping your lips.

I know I'm feeling so much more than ever before

You held your head up but he kept you in the dipped position, his face now only inches away from yours.

And so I'm giving more to you than I thought I could do~

He pulled you so you were now standing up, he stepped back, now engulfing both your hands in his.

Don’t know how it happened don’t know why but you don’t really need a reason

He leaned closer, he brought one of your hands up to his lips and pressed a kiss to it, a grin spreading across his face. You giggle shyly, not wanting to look away.

When the stars shine

His fingers now intertwined with yours, your arms extended outwards in a slow fall to your sides,

Made to love each other, made to be together for a lifetime

He twirled you, not letting go of each other of your hands, so you were now locked in an embrace with his holding you from the back.

In the sunshine

His breath tickled your ear, causing you to giggle

Flying in the sky

He held you tighter and shook you gently, you laughed, your head falling back to rest on his shoulder

I know I'm feeling so much more than ever before

He slowly released you; he planted a hand on your waist as you turned around to face him again

And so I'm giving more to you than I thought I could do

He closed his eyes, getting into the song, leaning in closer.

He wrapped his arm around your waist again, taking your hand in his, swaying to the music. You stared at each other. His forehead rested against yours, as he twirled you, he placed a chaste kiss on it. You giggled as he continued to sway with you.

Now I know love Is real

You tilted you head so that your foreheads no longer touched, instead your noses did

You had heard this song once before; you could only remember the last few lines, so you softly sang back to him.

So when sky high as the angels try, leaving you and I,

Your lips were only inches apart as you whispered the last words to each other

Fly love...

You stared at each other for a few moments before Omui sprayed water out of his blow hole, interrupting the moment.

“Omui! Gross!” Ao’nung yelled, but you could only laugh, he turned to look at you, his frown softening as he watched you.

You swam back to the docks on his ilu when it got dark, your cheek pressed against his back, arms wrapped around his waist, his hand over yours. You could faintly hear his heartbeat, strong and steady.

“Ao’nung.” You jumped at the cold voice. You peaked from behind his shoulder to see both your parents standing on the dock, your parents looking at you disappointed, Ronal and Tonowari angry.

“Both of you.” The Tsahik pointed in the direction of her Marui “Now.”

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ghostie-in-wonderland · 6 months ago

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Obey Me Characters with a MC that cares very little about stuff

crack; spoilers for Lesson 16

Lucifer

Frustrates him at first, every threat seemed to not matter

Becomes concerned after a bit, seeing that anything and everything, including death, could happen to MC and they just don’t seem to care

Tries to understand it, but ultimately fails every time as MC doesn’t care if he’s disappointed in their grades, actions, or whatever

Bruises his (massive) ego because of their lack of care towards his opinion

Mammon

So confused, MC never cares when he does a little scam on them, or leaves them to deal with his messes

Worries that something is definitely wrong with MC and probably sits them down

When they explain that it’s just hard for them to care because they’d rather just keep chugging along than focus on issues around them

When MC does react to something, it’s usually very important to him and causes him to reflect on what happened

Levi

Jealous at first, he cares so much about what others think and MC just doesn’t

At first he thinks it’s pride and that MC is just very prideful and egotistical

When he learns that’s not the case, he gets concerned it might be depression, because how is it possible that MC doesn’t care that Belphie killed them

Eventually comes to terms with it and enjoys spending time with MC because MC doesn’t judge him whatsoever and would honestly join him in the things he likes doing. Like wants to watch the weirdest shows? MC’s down. Want to stay up for 72 hours? MC’s down. MC is cool with doing whatever.

Satan

Confused af

MC doesn’t get angry like ever, and that confused him. There’s no anger, no frustration, nothing. How is that possible?

Probably secretly studies MC, but also not that good at hiding it and MC definitely knows and sort of just lets it slide

MC is definitely a cat magnet, because they don’t like do anything to bother them. Satan probably tries to be around MC so that he, too, can be near the cats.

Asmo

It pisses him off so much

He tries so hard to make MC want him or envious of him and it doesn’t work

He clings to MC and MC just vibes, he gets snippy with the group, MC just shrugs it off and goes on their merry way. He says something rude or is mean to MC, they don’t react.

The lack of reaction on their part annoys him so much, because how do they do that?

Beel

Bro legit doesn’t notice until the brothers pointed it out, he just assumed MC didn’t show their emotions

When he knows, he becomes curious though. MC is laid-back, he takes their food, they shrug it off, maybe even gives it to him if they don’t feel like eating anymore. He eats all their food; they go and buy more. He still feels guilty for eating their stuff, but it’s nice not being yelled at for it, for once. It makes him wonder, what would cause MC to snap?

He will often find himself sitting with MC just vibing together, he might be eating while MC games, or reads, or draws, or whatever they want to do.

He does get worried when major things happen that should traumatize MC, however, is surprised how MC doesn’t seem to be that effected by it.

Belphie

He is very appreciative. It gives him a second chance at knowing MC than if they were to have avoided him after the whole murder thing. Although, he wishes they’d stop making the dark jokes about it, he knows they don’t mean it mean, but damn does it hurt him.

He finds it fascinating, how can a human, care so little when in literal hell?

When MC does things, he often worries, because MC doesn’t have necessarily the best ideas, because they don’t care to think about the consequences. If it’s a prank on Lucifer though, that’s a different story.

He finds MC funny, when they’re not making jokes about their death, because MC seems to annoy many demons and their lack of caring about those demons.

Diavolo

He loves it, because MC doesn’t care that he’s the future King of Hell.

He often enables MC in their ideas, because he finds it amusing to see what they want to do.

He will also join MC in their “expeditions” which creates more work for everyone else as they scramble to find the pair.

He is sort of jealous of MC, because they don’t care what others think and he has to care.

Barbatos

Dude needs a vacation except he has Diavolo and MC to stress about.

Definitely doesn’t like MC at first because they are somehow the bad influence towards Diavolo

Eventually comes to appreciate MC’s lack of care because they aren’t worried about doing things they deem necessary, although he still gets frustrated that they don’t go above and beyond often times.

Simeon

Wants to write a novel about them. They’re so interesting to him. They don’t care about practically anything and that’s so interesting to him. He wants to pick their brain.

He gets worried about it though, because honestly, it seems like MC has a death wish with their actions.

Solomon

He loves it.

It’s so utterly amusing to him because everyone else seems to be scrambling to understand them. He seems to understand them right away though, which surprises MC because for once, they don’t have to explain themselves.

He finds it refreshing, MC doesn’t treat him like a sketchy old man. MC also doesn’t try to do anything to impress him, which he also enjoys.

Stresses over MC a lot though, especially with making sure they stay alive. He doesn’t want MC to die because of their lack of caring. He goes all out to protect MC secretly, although MC is suspicious of it and just chooses not to say anything.

#obey me crack #obey me barbatos #obey me mammon #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me diavolo #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer #obey me brothers

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artists-ally · 1 year ago

Note

HC of being mated to xaden and azriel!!!

{Azriel x Reader x Xaden Mates Headcanon}

Say less babe 😏 definitely a little NSFW, NO MORE IRON FLAME SPOILER!!!! JUST FOR YOU ANON!!!!

~~~~~~~

I think there would be little to no privacy ever again

With two of the most powerful shadow wielders in the world? You can kiss any ounce of secrecy goodbye

They know everything about you

But you like it

They know exactly what you like, and what you don’t

Azriel is definitely more reserved, will opt to stay in on a night out

Xaden will let out that wild side of him only to get you to join in

But only occasionally, during Solstice or another holiday, will the two of them let go completely and rope you into it

When it comes to relationship things, it was a STRUGGLE to find a balance

Being mated to two very headstrong, stubborn, independent and dominant males was hard

They constantly fought for your attention (sometimes physically)

But that was also so hot????

Who wouldn’t want to have the two of them fighting for you?

Anyway

There has been more than one altercation involving who got who, how to share you and all that

They were NOT in agreement with before the bonds clicked into place

And when they did? The world almost collapsed

It was an absolute fury of bodies and tongues and teeth

It somehow all clicked together, like they had done it all their lives. Knowing exactly what to do with their hands, with the shadows

Though their abilities were slightly different, the feeling of them on your skin, on your wrists holding you down was more or less the same

It was hypnotizing

Addicting

If there was one thing they agreed on it was pleasing you

That they liked a little too much

They liked teasing you even more

Azriel was a patient bastard and could hold up a threat like his life depended on it

He would not forget all the times you were a brat. He knew how to punish you properly to get you to behave after

The problem was you just kept finding new ways to break the rules

Xaden like to punish you with pleasure until your body physically couldn’t take it anymore

Forcing orgasm after orgasm out of you until you could barely breathe

That was his way of punishing you

It had taken a while for the inner circle to warm up to the concept, the same with Xaden and his Wing back home in Basgiath

Everyone at Basgiath was far too afraid of Azriel to begin with to even think differently

But when it all fell into place it wasn’t weird at all

Everything was perfect: the constant spoiling, the constant reassurance that you were the most perfect mate for both of them

The aftercare and simple date nights were what you loved for. Seeing both of your warriors showering you with kisses and praises of how much they loved and appreciated you for all that you did, all the comfort, peace, and security you brought them

There was one thing for certain: you NEVER felt unsafe

Both of them constantly had tabs on you

It worried them sick when you once shut them out to focus on a task, whether that be for your education or simply reading a book

they tore through the house trying to find you

They had been so afraid something happened to you that they forced you to keep some of their shadows with you at all times

It was mildly annoying, but also incredibly endearing

It came in very hand when you needed to get out of a sticky situation

There had been an incident when a male approached you in the street

You tried to warn him to back off, but just kept advancing

Azriel came first

Then Xaden

And the male nearly shit himself

Both of them were a head taller than you, and a head taller than the male

Just their presence made the male run for the hills

You could feel the power radiating off them, feel it vibrating in the air

Both of them asked you numerous times if he had touched you (he hadn’t) and checked every inch of you for harm

And if you got a paper cut or bruise?

It only doubled

Being sick was such a luxury that sometimes you faked a cold just to have them take care of you ;)

At the end of they day, they just wanted you and only you to care for them

Azriel would gladly let you clean his wings

Xaden would gladly let you massage his shoulders and back, kissing every one of those scars marked into his skin

You were never cold when you went to bed

And you had never felt so loved and appreciated and cherished in your life

#azriel x reader x xaden riorson #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel x you #azriel x reader #xaden riorson #xaden x reader #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #acotar fandom #fourth wing fanfiction #fourth wing fanfic #acotar headcanon #fourth wing #fourth wing headcanon

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eddies-whoreee · 2 years ago

Text

Innocent!shy!reader being not so innocent ever since Steve showed her a new side of sex.

At first you didn’t really have much knowledge of sex, you knew that’s how humans reproduced. You knew you had different anatomy than a male. Mostly biology related facts to sex. Not actually sex, you were virgin. Which is a surprise when your at the same status in school as Tina and Carol. You were more kept to yourself, you rarely came to parties, opting to stay in and study. Or read a book you got. You were a cheerleader, but that didn’t mean you had to do everything like them.

Then Steve, a total man whore, player. But he was a complete sweetheart under his ‘King Steve’ bullshit act. Just a sweet boy how wants to be showered with love and affection. Who also had a tendency to get rough during sex. Not just rough and fast pace thrusts that make you feel it for days to come. Or sucking hickeys on your body til you were sore. He likes to see the tears of pain and pleasure flow down his partners face, slap them around till their faces are red. Leaving bruises from how hard his strong hands grip you up. Tossing you around into new positions. Because you’re light as a feather to him.

So when you and Steve clash. It was an unexpected surprise. Everyone couldn’t believe it. Rumors spread like wildfire. “There’s no way he stays with her for more than 2 days” or “how long do you think he’ll stay before he realizes he’s not getting any pussy.”

Then you guys had sex for the first time ( on your birthday) and you’re first time ever. Which you told him, he was sweet, gentle, loving. He took his time made love to your body. He left wet kiss everywhere. Making out with everyone inch of you. His hands roaming all over your body. Pulling you closer, caressing your face. He didn’t hold back his whine and moans and neither did you. You couldn’t even if you wanted to, he was so good at what he did, pleasure racing through your veins. He came two times you came three times. You felt completely limp, your legs were shaky, mind all fuzzy. You heard Steve’s sweet voice cooing praises at you. While he cleaned you and the mess up. He got the shower ready and did everything for you. Washed your body, hair, dried you up, got you dressed and put in bed under the covers. As you two layed in bed with a movie playing in the background of you two. You both were in the brink of falling asleep. When Steve called your name. You looked up at him. “I love you” he speaks softly playing with your hair. You smile widely cheeks heating up. “I love you too” you peep before giving him a kiss goodnight. You two soon fall asleep, smiling like idiots.

4 months later

Steve had a high sex drive, he loved sex. It was something he’s always been good at so what’s not to love? Now that he had his two most favorite things sex and you. He was always fucking you. But your sex drive? Through the fucking roof. Every second you were on him, kissing and touching. Grinding and rubbing. He loved every second of it. He rarely ever turned you down unless, he thought you were too fucked out for your own good. Like you’d been going for 7 rounds, 7! You came at least 6 times, he came 5 or 6 maybe 10 who knows at the point. Steve would love nothing more than to keep pounding you into the mattress. But you were tired and crying. He knew you couldn’t take anymore dispute you pleas for more. “Baby, how about we cuddle and watch a movie. Then after the movie if you want more ill fuck you how ever much your little heart desires, m’kay?” He asks giving your nose a kiss. You huff nodding. He smiles, “okay just gonna rest a little then I’ll get up and clean this up” he says breathing heavily laying his head down on your bare stomach. Spoiler: you two ended up falling asleep like that.

Or you were always on your knees, wanting your mouth and throat stuffed. He was at his desk in his room. And he had his stupid glasses on. The ones that make your blood rush with arousal, the ones that make your panties instantly soaked. The one that make you get off the bed and snakier you way over to him you turned his chair, to the side to get better access. “Princess, what are yo- oh! Fuck, b-baby you gotta give a man a w-warning” he moans biting down on his knuckle. In a blink of an eye you were pulling down his sweats and boxers, dick in mouth.

You’d become a completely different person, you still as sweet as honey. Couldn’t hurt a fly, but when lust ran through your body. It’s all you thought about. When you lost your virginity it sparked something in you. The softest of Steve’s touch, made your skin burn with desire. The nights he’s at work not able to get to you. Are the worst, of course you have toys for this situation but there not the real thing, your fingers aren’t as big and long as Steve’s. But you and Steve wouldn’t want it any other way.

Steve was an open sex addict and he hooked you on his drug now…. Addicts Unite!

#steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fics #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington stranger things #stranger things #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve stranger things

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thinking-emoji · 2 months ago

Text

Buzzfeed interview but make it spoiler-free

you already know what it is - it's the photo free version of the latest Buzzfeed article, enjoy!

If You're A Dan And Phil Fan, This Interview Is For You

"The Dan and Phil you're seeing on the channel now is just what we are like in real life."

by Natasha Jokic | Nov 22, 2024

It can be hard to believe that it's been 15 years of Dan Howell and Phil Lester on YouTube. After all, in that time, much of their original viewers have grown up, and even gotten jobs at BuzzFeed.

As the duo continue their international Terrible Influence tour, BuzzFeed caught up with them virtually 30 minutes before their designated checkout time from a hotel in Durham, North Carolina. Here's what we learned:

1. First, unfortunately, you've been the in the US during the election. What has that been like for you?

Dan: [Sarcastically] It's been super fun and chill.

Phil: It's been a lot. You could sense there's so much tension going on. And we were obviously hoping for the best outcome.

Dan: We were in Milwaukee on the night that both [Donald] Trump and Kamala [Harris] had a rally in this city. And I was like, "Well, obviously, this is the most important event happening in Milwaukee tonight. Welcome to the Dan and Phil Show, everybody!"

Phil: I think we got more attendance than Trump at our show, though.

Dan: People didn't leave. More people tried to come in.

BuzzFeed: I mean, understandable. I'd say that people probably need your content now more than ever.

Dan: It has felt amazing because we have a lot of young and queer people in our audience. Especially after the election results were announced, they said that having something to look forward to was amazing for them. It felt great that our show and the community of our audience is just a place where people know that they're always welcome. So no matter what happens with the world, or politics, or their family, or their communities where they live — we can all have communities online. And they knew that when they come to see Dan and Phil, they're with their people. So that has felt really nice.

2. You obviously spend a lot of time together. You work together, you're now on tour together. It's been 15 years. How are you able to make it work?

Dan: That's a great question.

Phil: We fight to the death.

Dan: Do we know that answer?

Phil: People after the show ask, "Do you just want to kill each other?" And I think the answer is probably yes.

Dan: We've just gone full circle. We've gone to the point of wanting to kill each other so much that we've now come through the other side, and we're now in a state of serene chill. We're just like, two old turtles at the zoo, and you're like, "Are they dead? I think one of them just blinked."

Phil: Also, time isn't real. I can't believe I've known this person for 15 years. It scares me.

Dan: That's creepy. People have been coming up to us afterwards, and they're like, "I started watching you when I was 13, and now I have a child! I have a husband! I have a mortgage!" I'm like, "Alright, we need to wrap this up."

3. What's been your favorite moment of your tour so far?

Dan: Phil fell off the stage in Europe. It was quite funny.

Phil: That was not the favorite moment.

Dan: We like to joke about Phil being goofy and needing to get his eyes tested — and then it actually happened.

Phil: The thing is, it'sa very dark stage, and I was very excited to be on it, and then suddenly I wasn't on it anymore. Thankfully, I didn't squash anyone in the audience. I only bruised my ass. It was fine.

4. What's the most random thing that somebody's given you?

Dan: We signed a vape the other day. They said it's now the PHApe.

Phil: Someone brought a very official-looking adoption certificate so that we could be their fathers, which scared me a little bit for their own responsibility.

Dan: Iwas like, "That's funny." I started signing it, and Phil was like, "No, wait, this looks too real, there's too much little text on it."

Phil: I was like, "All our house plants are dead. Do you really want us to try and look after you?" And they were like, "Yeah!" Someone also came pregnant to the show, and they were like, "I'm gonna name my baby Philip." And I was like, "Ooh," I mean, the name Philip, it used to be quite popular.

Dan: It's in decline. There's a graph about what people name their children and is going down.

Phil: I feel like Philip is a 50-year-old man you meet at the pub. Phil.

Dan: You've got the responsibility of not just raising the next generation of people, but redeeming your name.

Phil: I think I will. I'm gonna make the name Phil cool again.

Dan: Make Phil Cool Again.

5. I know that the tour deals with some long-standing rumors that have surrounded you both. Is there one that you can share and debunk right now?

Dan: When we moved into a house that we bought, people started speculating about the interior design choices we'd make. Then a rumor started spreading around that we got toilets facing each other.

Phil: There was a photo on the internet of these two toilets facing each other, saying, "Is this Dan and Phil's house?"

Dan: People started joking, "Oh, did you hear Dan and Phil? They've they got toilets next to each other." So there is a part in the show where we we address that allegation live.

Phil: And we tell everyone that it is, in fact, true. [Pause] Just kidding, it is false, just to be clear.

Dan: Is it? We'll never know. Someone will have to break in.

6. This is the first tour you’ve been on together since both coming out as gay. What were some of the challenges in being a closeted content creator for so long?

Dan: I think it was hard in 2018 on our last tour. It was a weird thing for us that because of our content, a lot of it was comedy and storytelling and sketches, but there was obviously a lot of talking about real stories from our life. Especially after I'd opened up about my struggles with depression and started to talk quite candidly about some of those things, people would come up to me and go, "Oh, I love watching Dan and Phil because they are so candid about the struggles that they're going through in life." It felt horrendous looking at these people being so sincere with me, knowing that there was something that I had yet to confront within myself.

Phil: When there are lots of queer people coming to the show, you do feel like a connection to them anyway, even if you are in the closet. You're like, "I want to talk about this too!" So now that we have spoken about it, it just feels like there's a lot more lovely connection with people.

Dan: I think that's quite relatable, though. Especially when you had a teenage audience, a lot of people are still discovering what their identity is. You might feel like, Am I a liar because I'm not talking about these things? Whereas, actually, I think people need time to work out who they are and how they feel and how they want to confront needing to share that with the world.

7. I know you’ve said that you weren’t necessarily planning for a big comeback for your gaming channel — what’s the biggest difference between how you approach YouTube now versus back in the day?

Phil: We are gaming less on the gaming channel. That's one thing. It's turned into a Dan and Phil variety show.

Dan: This whole comeback was an accident. I came back from this last tour that I did, and Phil was like, "Let's just do this for a bit for fun." And then it blew up so much. We were like, "Oh God, we've created life." And now we're responsible for raising the life that we just resuscitated. We are in Durham, North Carolina.

Phil: On tour, we usually do a baking video. So we did baking on the tour bus, which was a challenge.

Dan: That was some busted-ass baking.

Phil: We made some bus cakes, but it was fun.

Dan: We nearly blew up the town. [Pauses] Back in the day, before we came out, we were like, "Oh, should we be nervous about what we make, what we talk about, what we can joke about? Does Phil have to watch his language? Do I have to make sure that I don't imply something with any jokes that I make?" Whereas this new era feels very like, Right now that everyone is old as fuck, which includes us, you, the entire audience, we can radically make fun of the way that everyone chose to act in the past. It felt quite freeing.

Phil: The Dan and Phil you're seeing on the channel now is just what we are like in real life. Not that we weren't before.

Dan: It's just unleashed and unhinged in a way that probably should be leashed a bit more.

Phil: I can say "fuck" now. It's a whole different thing.

8. What’s the biggest difference, if any, between Dan and Phil on screen and Dan and Phil in real life?

Dan: We're exactly the same.

Phil: A lot of people that meet us are like, "Oh, my God, you are the same as you are online."

Dan: I don't know if they're expecting us to be actors. Like, when you find out Ewan McGregor has got an accent, and you're like, "What's that about?" No, I'm sorry to disappoint you. We are literally Dan and Phil. One thing people don't expect is the height, because we're usually three and a half inches on someone's Samsung Galaxy, and then we're 6'3" in person.

Phil: I feel like I do have short person energy, and that always shocks people.

9. Phil, you were credited as Dan’s “remote crisis manager” on his last tour. What sort of crises did you have to remotely manage?

Phil: There were a lot of crises. There was one where Dan phoned me up, it was like, four in the morning. What was going on?

Dan: There was a literal hurricane in Auckland. And I was like, "No one's fucking awake, what do I do?" Phil was like, "Post a story saying that if your road is underwater, don't drive to Dan Howell's show. No offense. We love the compliment. I'd love to see all of my fans in New Zealand. Do not drive into a lake to come see us."

10. What’s the most starstruck you’ve ever been?

Phil: Do we ever get starstruck?

Dan: Phil, don't lie. Phil met Joss Whedon, who wrote Buffy.

Phil: But that's not aged well now, because we found out what he's actually like.

Dan: And now you've retconned that.

Phil: At the time, I was excited.

Dan: We met Ariana Grande. And this was a stage in her career where, for some reason, her people let Phil wrap tinsel around her so she looked like a Christmas tree. No one on the Wicked press tour is going to decorate Ariana Grande like a Christmas tree. And yet if you go to youtube.com you can see Ariana just stood there in a Radio One studio as Phil just put baubles on her while asking her questions.

Phil: She was lovely about it. Her people were like, "She's only got four minutes" and she spent ages with us.

Dan: Dan and Phil can confirm, Ariana Grande: Chill, funny, and down to clown.

11. Who’s the rudest celebrity or YouTuber you’ve ever met?

Dan: I try not to meet YouTubers. They terrify me. Big sociopath energy.

Phil: I think in the early days of YouTube, you'd go to a video convention and some people would just flip out a camera and start filming you before they'd even say hello.

Dan: This is why I have trauma. Some people were so chronically vlogging their entire day that people would come up to you with a camera turned around, "Oh my god, it's Dan and Phil, nice to meet you guys!" And they'd stop recording, and their face would just go completely blank, and they'd walk away being like, "Assistant, where's my fucking Starbucks?"

12. What’s the weirdest sponsorship offer you’ve received?

Dan: Someone tried to get you to do sex toys.

Phil: I don't think my Amazing Phil channel is really adjacent to sex toys.

Dan: But it was sex toys for women in relationships with other women. Like, "Dan, Phil, we know you got that big lesbian demographic. I think this would go hard." And then reached out to the YouTube person, and they were like, "I think that would be very successful, but it might hurt the ad algorithm, so I'd recommend not doing it. Maybe do it on your own platform." So you know, Phil's gonna get the Patreon, OnlyFans sex toy side hustle.

Phil: You're still waiting for the fursuit sponsorship, Dan.

13. What’s something that you hope to have ticked off the bucket list in five years?

Phil: I don't even think about the next five minutes.

Dan: Yours is to not walk off the stage in the next five hours.

Phil: I always wanted to be a weatherman when I was a kid. Maybe I could go into that.

Dan: You would accidentally tell people that there is a hurricane. No offense.

Phil: Apparently, you need left and right to do that. I still don't know my left and my right, so that's an issue.

Dan: It's not your fault, but that means that you probably can't be a weatherman. I don't want to crush your dreams. I think we just want to have a nap.

Phil: We've been going full-on on this tour.

Dan: Having the most fun ever — but we're indoor cats, you know what I mean?

14. Is there a video idea that one of you has had where the other has thought, “absolutely not”?

Dan: Phil regularly tells me that things I'm thinking of doing are too confrontational, spicy or offensive and I'm like, "No, they're not." And then afterwards, I'm like, "Okay, yeah, Phil, you saved my career."

Phil: I'm very good at looking at Dan's ideas and being like, "Maybe a little bit differently? We recently released a horse calendar. People were like, "What if you did a tasteful nudes calendar?" Because we did an OnlyFans April Fool's parody.

Dan: I just think in your workplace, that's a lot to put next to the microwave. It's a funny idea, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Phil: So we went with Dan, Phil, and a tiny horse.

Dan: Which is much better. You can put stickers over Dan and Phil and just look at the horse if you want.

Phil: No one needs my ass next to their kettle.

15. And finally, how would you describe your friendship in three words?

Dan: Way too long.

BuzzFeed: I think that was everything I had, so there's enough time for you to leave your hotel room.

Dan: This is the duality of Dan and Phil. I've got those packing cubes, so I have a suitcase full of things. Phil's just got the overall pile strategy. Very anxiety-inducing.

Phil: I need to go to my room because it is currently looks like a tornado has hit it.

Dan: I don't think Phil's gonna make it.

Thanks for talking to us, Dan and Phil! You can find out more information about their Terrible Influence tour here.

#dan and phil #phan #daniel howell #amazingphil #a lot of the photos in this one aren't from the show but i know some of yall don't take chances

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klaustozier · 2 years ago

Text

bandages ; joel miller

SUMMARY: joel returns to jackson with some wounds after doing a patrol mission and you will help him change his bandages.

warnings: joel miller x fem!reader, alcohol, it's snowing because i think it's beautiful, joel has injuries *-* (so hot), you're younger than him, the story takes place between part 1 and 2 of the game, there are no spoilers , fingering, oral, some slaps on the face, mention of the joel's chest hair, cumming in mouth, big cock!joel, pet names (baby girl)

word count: 1.9k

english is not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistakes.

enjoy!

"Here", you said, giving Joel a glass of whisky.

The man was sitting on the couch, a few buttons of his plaid shirt undone, his left hand and right arm bandaged because of some bruises he got while going on a patrol to prevent Infected from approaching the area.

You took care of him since Maria said she would take care of Tommy. Joel was not a difficult man to deal with and the affection he had for Ellie was adorable, who that day was at a friend's house, she was going to spend the night with them having a pajama party. They both thought it was good that she had a remotely normal adolescence considering all the shit that was happening.

"Thanks", he said, taking a sip of his whiskey as you began to undo the bandages on his hand to change them.

"You have to be careful when you go out on patrol", you commented, after cleaning the wound and starting to bandage it again.

"I'm sorry if my hard and extremely precious work isn't being done so well, young lady", he mocked, making you laugh, "I'm protecting you, you know?"

"I know", you got off the coffee table and sat next to him on the sofa, lifting his sleeve a little and started to remove the bandages on his arm, "But still, you're not that young anymore."

Joel looked at you in shock, "I can't believe it", and chuckled, "I'm at the top of my physical potential."

You laughed softly, "If you say so I believe it."

"You have no idea how much I run every day and even in the snow!", the brunette defended himself.

You finished putting the clean bandage on the older one's arm, "Fine, fine", you agreed, "if you say so, I believe it", he rolled his eyes and took another sip of his whiskey, "Open your shirt for me. "

"What?", Joel looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "Is that how it is nowadays? In my day it was customary to pay for at least one dinner."

"I gave you whiskey", you replied.

"That's mine! You're at my house!", he reminded you, making you laugh.

"Sorry", you smiled, "I owe you a bottle of whiskey, deal?"

"Hm", he grumbled, "I'm not that easy, I want a very fancy one."

"You will drink what they have, mister Miller", you informed, "Now, open your blouse, let me see your bruises."

"So demanding", he started undoing the buttons on his red and black shirt, "I like women like that."

You chuckled softly feeling your cheeks heating up gently, seeing his chest with slight bruises, after all he had only fallen while running away from the infected, but it was still good to check if they needed new bandages. His chest hair had some gray hair mixed with the darker ones and it was so pretty.

You took off the bandage that was over his ribs and cleaned the small wound. It was pretty purple from the blow, but it still had a cut and it wasn't good to let something like that get infected these days.

The two of you were silent while you finished putting the bandages on, he was drinking looking at you with a certain fascination.

"All set, Joel", you said, looking up at him and feeling butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"Thank you", he smiled small, his hand going to a lock of your hair that was escaping from behind your ear, "You are a very beautiful woman."

"You can hit on me all you want, Mr. Miller, you'll only get one bottle of whiskey", you joked, wanting to relieve a little of your shame, but you couldn't, the intense way he looked at you, was making you so nervous.

"Shit, I thought I could get two bottles out of you", he teased, sliding his fingers down your cheek, "You think this strong chest doesn't deserve two bottles?"

You laughed, "I think your ego alone would drink both bottles."

"You need to respect me, I am older than you."

"I will not."

Joel laughed and leaned towards you, his fingers tangling in your hair, looking at your lips before kissing you. You sighed softly letting yourself be kissed, your tongue tangling with his, tasting the whiskey in his mouth.

You climbed onto his lap, sitting with your legs wrapped around his, feeling his strong hands move up your thighs and gently squeeze.

"Joel", you whispered as his hands moved up your body, tucking into your blouse.

The eldest smiled as he felt nothing but your skin, "Don't you get cold?"

"Stop talking shit", you mumbled making him laugh.

"Cute", Joel kissed you, squeezing your breasts, hearing you moan softly, rolling your hips against him, feeling his erection on your leg.

Joel took off the jacket you were wearing before pulling your shirt up revealing your breasts. The fire in the fireplace helped to warm the room, but it still made your skin crawl and your nipples get hard.

The gray haired man sighed deeply, squeezing your soft breasts, bringing them together, his tongue sliding from one nipple to the other, making you moan and grab his hair, stroking as he licked one after the other.

Your hips rocked against his, moaning softly as your nipples were pinched and licked.

"Fuck", Joel looked at you, holding your chin, "You're so hot", he whispered, sliding his fingers along your jaw.

"Please, Mr. Miller", you pleaded softly, offering your face to him.

"What do you want, baby girl?"

"Hit me, please", you rocked your hips once more, grinding against his erection.

Joel chuckled, "You still have the guts to pretend you're a saint."

You gasped heavily as he delivered the first slap, pulling your face to look at him by the chin for another slap, "Joel", you whispered.

You kissed him, holding his face gently, his beard rubbing against your face, it would make you all red, but you didn't care, even more so when one of his hands squeezed your breast and pinched your nipple and the other squeezed yours ass, forcing you against his erection, making you grind against him.

You sighed and knelt on the floor between his legs, opening his pants. Joel sighed when he felt your hand on his erection, taking it out of his underwear.

His big hands slid through your hair, moaning softly as your tongue moved up his thick cock, sucking the tip before swallowing as much of his cock as you could.

You held what didn't fit in your mouth with your hand and used it to assist your movements. The wet sounds of your gags and hand movements filled the room, mingling with his low, husky moans.

Saliva wet the older man's cock, his body was thrown against the couch, his right hand in your hair while his injured hand lay on the couch. His chest rose and fell, strong and beautiful, the black hair mixed with the gray. Your free hand would slide across his belly sometimes when you stopped massaging his balls.

You paused your movements and looked up at him, your jaw ached, saliva glistened on your red lips.

"Lie down on the couch, baby girl", Joel said.

"Yes, Mr. Miller."

"I'm going to get really used to you calling me that", he said, making you chuckle as you laid down on the sofa.

Joel took your pants off you along with your panties and sighed, opening your legs gently, settling on the sofa. He placed kisses down your thighs, his beard brushing against your delicate skin, making you whimper softly.

The older one smiled softly as he heard you moan as his tongue sank into your wet pussy and slid across the delicate area.

You moaned and grabbed his beautiful hair, your clit being sucked gently, his tongue licking it with gentle pressure.

Your moans grew louder as two of his fingers dug inside you, "What a cute little moan."

Your hand forced his head down to go back to previous work, "Shut up."

He laughed and slapped your thigh making you whine rolling your hips into his mouth. His beard rubbed against your delicate skin, an indescribable sensation on your so delicate skin, his fingers making incessant back-and-forth movements, leaving you in complete despair, your body arched on the sofa, your legs wrapping around his head, not to let him get away. Your moans got louder and louder, which made Joel stop and you groaned angrily.

"Calm down", he asked smiling, his body straddling yours, "I want you cumming on my cock, baby girl."

You grabbed his shoulders and whimpered softly as he sank his cock inside you, taking it slowly as you got used to the penetration. As he was fully inside of you, his hips began to move, your legs wrapping around his hips, making him go deeper.

Joel's movements were raw, strong, he went deep and hard. The two moaned together as they exchanged desperate kisses while his hips didn't stop. Your hands glided through his hair and beard, his mouth tasted like whiskey with your own pleasure.

Your hands slid over his face, the rough beard sliding through your fingers, your moans loud and desperate. His body moved on the sofa without any difficulty, his thrusts made the old furniture creak. From time to time, Joel would stop kissing you and turn his attention to your breasts, watching them move with his thrusts. Your fingernails slid across his chest, scratching the beautiful, scarred skin.

The sound of burning wood was delicate compared to the sounds of your moans and skin hitting skin. It wasn't long before you were cumming, his hand pressing your hips hard as his forehead was lying on yours, listening to you whimper softly, your breathing uneven as you enjoyed the pleasure you felt as he thrust harder and slower.

"You didn't cum", you said, pouting when Joel shook his head, "Want to cum in my mouth?"

Joel's jaw clenched and he nodded, "On your knees", he ordered.

Promptly, you complied, kneeling on the wooden floor, watching the man stand before you, his thick cock wrapped in his hand. Joel watched you for a moment and sighed as you stuck your tongue out and positioned your mouth under the tip of his cock, licking up the escaping precum.

His hand began to masturbate himself quickly, one of your hands helped massaging his balls, making the moans a little louder, they were so husky, they made you want to moan too. His chest rose and fell rapidly, breathing unevenly and with a more agonized groan, he came on your tongue, cum falling over your lips.

Joel smirked stroking your hair when you just waited, "Swallow it", he whispered, promptly, you closed your mouth and swallowed the cum on your tongue, the older's thumb collected cum that marked your lip and took to your mouth, his finger being sucked as you looked at him, beautiful eyes blinking, "Good girl", he whispered. The gray-haired man took a deep breath and pulled you by the arms, sitting on the sofa and placing you on his lap, giving you a peck, "Are you okay?", he asked.

"Yes", you replied, smiling.

"I think after that I really deserve the two bottles of whiskey."

You laughed, "Fuck you", you mumbled, making Joel chuckle before giving you another kiss.

...

permanent tags: @laylasbunbunny @saiewithakatana @hopelezzromanticsblog @mrs-sherlock-holmes

please reblog and leave a like if you enjoyed it! and leave a comment with your thoughts, i would love to know!

see ya next time.

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

♡masterlist♡

#the last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller imagina #imagine joel miller #joel miller #joel miller x original character #tlou x you #tlou fluff #joel miller imagine #tlou smut #the last of us smut

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em1e · 2 years ago

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⠀ ⠀ ༝ when the sirens sound, you’ll hide under the floor.

⠀カクチョー // I KNOW THE END ⠀ ༝ ༝ bonten!kakucho ⠀ ༝ ༝ 1k words ⠀ ⚠︎ angst x3 manga spoilers, character death mention. ⠀— for now, he’ll remember all he has with you.

the cigarette sat loosely between the tips of your fingers, on the verge of going out despite you only lighting it minutes prior, despite you not taking a single drag from it.

your apartment was trashed, thanks to kakucho.

you can’t find it in yourself to care when he left just as quickly as he came - just as upset by whatever task mikey’s put on his shoulders as when he arrived. he knows tearing through your home would do little to ease his anger, knows putting that emotion towards taking you ravenously in your bedroom does nothing to sate it, but still he does and the evidence left littering your neck and collar, your thighs and hips, doesn’t bring you comfort like it once did when you were younger.

in the orphanage, where kakucho and izana only brought the feeling of safety and peace.

those feelings died with izana.

but there is still some amount of comfort in the way he holds you gently, after the rampage is over and he places apologetic kisses over the bruises on your thighs, over the marr of hickies on your collar.

you heave a sigh, putting out the cigarette before you’ve even given yourself the chance to take from it, flicking it out the open window and wrapping the blanket on your shoulders tighter around your form, standing to examine the damage.

knocked over picture frames, miscellaneous things tossed from your table to the ground to make space for you. not the worst done, but surely not the last time it’ll happen.

and he does come back that same night, a rarity for him.

the gentleness of his knock surprises you as you finish cleaning, pulling your door open to find him standing behind it with a busted lip, bruising knuckles, and a frown on his pretty face.

wordlessly, you step aside so he can enter the apartment, and he crumbles onto your couch, gesturing for you to follow when you’re still hovering by the door. you do, mindful of the way he pulls you into his lap and runs his hands over your thighs, over the bruises left uncovered by your pajama shorts, until his fingers dance under the cloth to rub at bruises that go deeper, become darker.

“better?” your voice is gentle, soft, as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and make yourself comfortable.

he nods, looking up at you, tilting his head as he takes you in.

“sorry for the mess earlier,” he starts, fingers stopping their dance at the apex of your thigh, “was just frustrated by mikey.” and every other fucked up thing in life, sits unsaid on his tongue. the feelings never die down, no matter how hard he tries to push it away, to screw it out of his system, to maim and break and take all he wants, it still remains.

you can only hum in acknowledgement, tips of your fingers dancing in his hair and he sighs at the contact, leaning into your touch as if he hasn’t felt it in years. weathered down by the world, with you being his final lifeline.

“i don’t like seein’ you like this, kaku,” your voice, just above a whisper, cuts into him like a knife, tearing its way through him and leaving him to clench his jaw, squeeze your flesh between his fingers in a familiar way, ”’ve watched you tear yourself apart, ya know that? watched you get taken from again and again and ‘m not even sure i recognize you anymore.” your voice remains even as you speak, not stopping yourself from brushing the knots from his hair, not pulling yourself from him despite the accusations you’re throwing at him, “like you’re a shell of yourself.”

“s’that so?” is all he can find in himself to ask, different words ready to leave his mouth but choosing better than to start the warfare you’re surely trying to ignite.

he knows life has been just as unfair to you. that you ended up in that same orphanage as he, that you also lost your best friend all those years ago, that you’ve been at his side as he tore cities apart under the command of someone you barely tolerate, these days.

it makes part of him ache, seeing the way you’re looking at him now. disapproving, lips set in a line despite the way your fingers still brush in his hair intimately.

he can’t keep you in this life of destruction, shouldn’t keep you here, it’s unfair and foolish to think you’d stay for much longer, but he can’t let you go.

because kakucho loves you, and you are his last lifeline. he doesn’t know what would happen to himself if you left. he sees so much of himself and izana in you, the reminder of childhood and simpler times, happier times, where death was a whisper you’d only fear about in the dark, where the fear would dissipate when the three of you were together.

the thought is enough to spur him forward, lips brushing your own softly and sighing when you return it after only a moment. the hesitation isn’t lost on him, but choosing to ignore it seemed to be the better of two evils, something he could bring himself to talk about at a later time, a different date, a different life.

maybe one day you won’t return it. maybe one day he’ll return to this apartment and everything of yours will be gone, and he will truly be as hollow as the rooms he’d be left in. for now, he’ll savor what he has, engrain the feel of your skin under his fingertips, memorize how gently you cup his face and pull yourself closer to him.

for now, he’ll remember all he has with you.

#salmon rowe #kakucho x reader #kakucho tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #x reader #kakucho

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okkotsuus · 2 years ago

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the fall (hyoma c.) !

features: hyoma c.

contents: angst. chigiri backstory spoilers (not manga exclusive). h-hamilton reference (ITS JUST ONE PLEASE IM SORRY). fear of failure. betrayal. i decided to have mercy and leave it shallow so i can make a really long one some other time. 1k words

tagging: @17020 @tim-shii

chigiri was quite confident in himself. if he wanted something he’d fight tooth and nail, usually, not needing that much effort, to get it. but the key word in that statement is "was".

ever since he injured his leg, tearing his acl in the most critical moment, it all changed. that injury broke hyoma chigiri at the very core of his being. no longer did the world know his name, history no longer had its eyes on him.

chigiri was different now, he did everything with a hesitance. hesitance that he could end up getting hurt again. hesitance that the fact he can’t do what he used to would be shoved down his throat again. hesitance that he would fail again.

one thing that hyoma chigiri would be forced to learn the hard way was that the fall from grace is never pretty. it's an ugly, clawing, frenzied crawl that ends in betrayal from those who you expected to help you back up.

he experiences it first with his soccer team. they no longer look at him with such trust and respect. he doesn’t get passed to anymore. his legs are no longer able to send him steamrolling across the field; and it would seem that’s all they thought he was good for.

chigiri experiences it for the second time with himself. his body does not recover as fast as he hoped, and once it does his stamina is so shot that his legs become useless. but the biggest betrayal out of this one comes from his very own mind. that playmaking mind begins to plan on his downfall. chigiri no longer tries anything that he might fail at. to him, failure is worse than not trying at all. failure again would send him reeling back into that that he was in when the doctor told him he would never play soccer again if he injured his leg again.

that ego crush the second fall provided set the stage for all of his suffering. with the deepest shreds of the shell of the old chigiri, he clung to soccer. though, he went from a starting striker to a bench warmer. soccer was the one thing he had left. and the one person he had left was you. again, they key word in that sentence is "had".

hyoma chigiri is a ghost of the boy he once was. anyone could see it just by looking at him. his hair is slowly growing out of his control, his skin is pale and lifeless, but most apparent of all is his dead eyes. that sparkly gaze of his burned to ashes in that doctor’s office. hell, he could trace most of his problems back to that godforsaken office.

but you, sweet you. you never left his side. you became friends with the boy on his first day of high school, ever since he was stuck with you. at first, you were an annoyance, a pesky fly buzzing around his head. but now, you are quite literally all he has left at this school.

fate wasn’t kind to hyoma chigiri during this period of his life. but even fate wouldn’t take you from him too, right?

chigiri notices it first when he sees that pink note fall out of your shoe locker. at that point, a familiar set of dread began to form in his chest, seeping into his bones, contaminating his mind. he feels his world begin to shake around him. he didn’t believe life could be this cruel to him.

life doesn’t like being challenged.

chigiri sees those damned pink letters fall out of your shoe locker every single day after, each one that drops into your waiting hands drives a nail into the coffin of his heart.

but what kills his beaten and bruised heart is the pretty smile and sparkling eyes that display so tenderly across your face. first, he feels that fluttery feeling when he sees it, he was used to seeing you look at him like that. but then that bitter, creeping realization sets in, you weren’t looking at him. his eyes trail over your form to gaze at the opened letter between your fingers. a burning and twisting jealousy sets in, in the back of mind a melancholic realization begins to brew.

it’s not even a week later that life decides to test him again.

he’s waiting by your shoe locker to walk home with you, but you’ve been missing for the past five minutes. no cute little text to tell him where you are. that realization in the back of his psyche begins to grow, like a seed sowed in a self-pitying soil and watered with his tears. it grows, roots growing deep into his mind. finally; it bears a rotten and withered fruit, dangling precariously from it’s twisted branches.

that fruit is the sight of you laughing with someone else, walking towards the gate with them. he sees you slap their arm while you wholeheartedly and boisterously cackle at whatever unfunny joke they made. his fists clenched as he felt that familiar sting behind his eyes that’s been accompanied with a throbbing in his chest as of late.

the third and final time chigiri experiences the fall from grace is with you.

okkotsuus 23

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #chigiri #chigiri x reader #hyoma chigiri #hyoma chigiri x reader #blue lock chigiri #bllk chigiri #bllk x you #blue lock x you #chigiri x you #hyoma chigiri x you #chigiri hyoma #chigiri hyoma x reader #chigiri hyoma x you

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flemethinabighat · 2 months ago

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Veilguard spoilers

Has anyone else wondered what it would be like once the rift closes and its just like… the two of them in the Fade alone, Dorian possibly outside screaming with indignation at being left with a broken world to put back together alone? Well I did and while silly, it came to me like this:

Solas: so, right, I am very happy you are here, but you did just leave the world on fire. How does the Inquisitor part of you feel about that?

Lavellan: I’m not the Inquisitor anymore, and I think we rather both left it that way. At least I was actually trying to put out the fires, not make one really big one.

Solas: sigh. my point in mentioning it was to inquire if you wanted to be with me or simply not out there? He tried to smile, his face still bearing bruises and his was possibly suffering internal bleeding.

L arched an eyebrow: there are things we don’t really need to know about each other, right?

S face falling: ah. Perhaps so.

L (awkward silence): so what will we do with all this time?

S eyes going wide with perhaps some trepidation, some sad horniness, and even flushing with sheepishness as he hadn’t planned on this place being entertaining for its inhabitants : if I concentrate very hard for a year I might be able to conjure us a book

L: …Fuck. Oh wait! (She roots around in a pocket) I’ve got Varric’s old wicked grace deck!

S looking horrified and very sad : Varric…

L face fell : right, you killed him…

S: it was an accident, vhenan

L huffed in disbelief : stepping on a cat’s tail is an accident, killing a friend is a travesty

S: you said you forgave me…

L: I did, but now I’m looking at this deck and thinking about how he called me “Your Inquisitorialness” and how I hugged him after Hawke… now I really want to punch you

S nodded: I wouldn’t stop you

L looks at his already battered face and feels all the strange twisting, tangling enmity and compassion all over again, a sore bruise in her chest, as if thick, disgusting vines of Elgar’nan’s blight were curling around her heart. Everything he’s done, everything she has promised to endure with him. The way back was closed, and even if she had stayed her foolish sick heart would cry out to be here with him, just as she is crying out to hurt him, kiss him, or run back out and… shit! Dorian, the world, the fires.

She closed her eyes and he waited out her inner turmoil, his hands respectfully behind his back.

L: opened her eyes, the bruise in her chest softening. Outstretched before them were the long years spent alone with him, she could grow to despise him, punish him, maybe he would even appreciate that in a sick sad way. Or she could love him, embrace everything, accept what cannot change. She looked down to the deck of cards, the sound of them slipping over each other so loud here. She could even maybe find what her own mind could do here, in this raw, horrible space, her magic still sparking to life under her skin. Choices were few, but they were immense and daunting. She tried out a smile, his now vibrant eyes filling with something like hope. It was a beginning either way.

“maybe start trying to conjure that book, vhenan.”

#dragon age #dragon age solas #my wrtitng #da fandom #veilguard spoilers #sillyposting #solas x female lavellan

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leia-leek · 2 years ago

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I’ve got a lot of thoughts about the state of minds of both the main leads in Love Like the Galaxy post the 5-years seperation. To avoid spoilers I’ve put them under the cut. ;)

HBY’s actions after the 5-year separation make a lot of sense to me based on his character in the drama (he is def different than the one in the novel). He is operating under 3 main issues.

He knows and understands CSS more now and doesn’t believe she will ever forgive him. Obviously, he wants to get back with her, has been since before he even left for those 5 years, but he also knows that it’s going to be nearly impossible for her to forgive him. He doesn’t expect it at all. You can see that when he tries to dismiss himself from CSS’s parents after the Empress’s death, but that scene also highlights the next issue, which is...

He is still pretty socially inept. It’s one of his flaws. While he does get better at it while dating CSS, it never really goes away. He has no idea what words to use or how to use them. This man doesn’t really have a filter, he usually says what he means and means what he says, but is smart enough to know when not to speak. His poetic, smooth flirts with CSS? Just him being honest and speaking from his heart. After the 5 years, when he doesn’t believe he can show his heart to her anymore, what can he say? He doesn’t believe he has the right to speak openly to her about his feelings. Mostly because...

He respects the hell out of CSS. One thing I love about HBY throughout the show is his respect for CSS. She tells him that she can’t trust him and give her heart to him anymore? Then he will bow out respectfully. He won’t pressure her. He may be devoted to her and will never love anyone else, but he won’t put his own feelings onto her. He did this when she was previously engaged so...

That’s why we don’t see him beg. We might want to see him beg after what he did, but that doesn’t seem to be his character in the drama. We want to see him fight hard for her, and be relentless like we know he can be, but he has had 5 years to think of everything he has done and he’s mellowed out a bit. And he treats his relationship with CSS like he treats his heart and his heart is pretty bruised after the 5 years, so he absolutely has to be careful with it. Thus he holds back, much to the dismay of the viewers, me included.

As for CSS? I’ve seen a lot of people upset at her ice queen act. I’ve watched LLTG about a billion times now and I think I understand why she seems that way. Namely? She is fighting depression and grief hard. She states that HBY is her true love and the show has kinda hammered it hard that CSS is the type to love deeply. She mirrors HBY to a ridiculous degree. Some of her main issues throughout the show have been:

Her abandonment issues.

Her low self-esteem/self-image.

Her anger issues.

Learning to love and learning to forgive (she learned to love pre the 5-years seperation).

Her anger issues have always been very subtle but there are signs here and there. “Venting her anger” has been quoted a few times in the show. It makes sense that she is angry and it ties heavily with her abandonment issues.

CSS states that she had to put down her anger issues during their seperation, so she no longer has that burning intensity that she used to have. It’s off-screen, which I think was a poor choice in storytelling but you can piece it together after a few re-watches (or if you’re really good at retaining info during your first watch). Like HBY, she has mellowed out or matured out of her anger, which means she doesn’t have that to fuel her. Her depression and sadness then take center stage. What about her other issues though?

When HBY abandons her or plans his murder/suicide while leaving her out of the loop, it rips open a wound that has never truly healed. Throughout the show, we can see that CSS is affection starved because of her parents leaving her with relatives that didn’t give a piss about her, or AKA abandoning her at her birth. It becomes an even larger wound when her mother comes home and gives her zero affection. And while CSS eventually gets the affection she needs from both the Empress and HBY, what she really needed was stability from someone showing her affection (which is why the Empress plays such an important role in CSS’s life). But that only comes with time. Her abandonment issues were something only time could heal (with continued assurances from someone CSS could rely on). In the show, she only had a year with her family before her wound was reopened.

5 years under the care and love of the Empress gave her that. She needed that time, to not only let go of her anger, or to rebuild her shattered self-image*, but to build up the assurance of stability. She also knew the Empress was sick, but it allowed her a semblance of a rock-solid foundation for a decent amount of time.

*(She was going to be HBY’s wife, he -and the Empress ofc- gave her confidence, but the feeling of being not good enough was going to resurface when HBY did what he did. It was good that she found it again when she made a career for herself as the Palace Chief.)

So what was left? She matured, but her heart was still “dead” as per her words. Someone who is sad and depressed isn’t going to be very lively, which is why she seems like an ice queen. She isn’t being mean or emotionless, she is just in a place of deep sadness where other emotions have a hard time coming forward. When you’re that sad, you do become a bit numb to everything else as well. So to heal from that sadness, she had to come forth and return to the waking world outside the palace. And she was forced to with the Empress’s death and HBY’s return.

For CSS to move forward she needed to learn to forgive. And the start of that was with her family, her parents, the first people to abandon her. Not with HBY. That’s why the “move on” scene was both heartbreaking and needed. She wasn’t ready to forgive him, the timing was off, but she needed to hear him apologize first. She needed the assurance that he would be okay because she would always think of him but couldn’t be with him. With that, when her mother apologizes, tells her that they’ll never leave her again, and asks to give them a second chance, she could accept it (and you start to see her old troublemaker self come back with her asking her father which of 3 gave him the worst headache lol). She then has a shaky but possible new foundation. Her grandmother then apologizes (she overhears so it’s not direct) and CSS realizes she needs to focus on the people that love her. That scene parallels the one at the beginning where she says she needs to be more solitary and think of herself.

Now she is ready to hear and forgive HBY. (It’s why she ends her engagement talks with YS.)

CSS is still stubborn ofc, so it takes a death scare, but his words of regret reach her and they get back together. That’s when you start to see her thaw. You start to see her being happy again. Unfortunately this is where the 10-episode cut/edit really hurt the show. We only get 1 and 1/4 of an episode to see her come back to herself. We see her defend the village, then tease and smile with HBY, but we don’t fully get to see our old CSS return within such a short time. We can infer, that yes, she will be her old self soon enough (and even better), but we don’t see it on screen. That’s why I think a follow-up movie is needed tbh.

But yes, it makes sense for her to seem so frigid after the 5 years because the focus was on her sadness/depression and her grief at being apart from her one true love. A lot of her other development happened within the time skip and left her with only a little bit more to go before she was fully developed. She needed that entire time to process a lot of things emotionally (and imo, something we needed to see on screen, the final episodes were poorly done sadly). Not so much for HBY, the poor boy, he probably pieced together his folly within a few months and the rest of the time he was just in a time-out for his bad behavior.

#love like the galaxy #lltg #月升沧海 #xing han can lan

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