#if Cole has no haters I’m dead

[katherinehoughtoncastle47]

[meleys-the-red-queen]

Criston Cole sent Arryk to his death on a suicide mission to assassinate Rhaenyra because he felt guilty for not doing his fucking job. When is this man NOT fucking up everyone else’s lives?

[lovesickallovermybed]

this just in, i started watching house of the dragon and criston cole should've just jumped

[complextheories]

“The Whore of Dragonstone”

Lord Darklyn setting the record straight!! Criston Cole is not fit to wear the cloak, clearly he’s blinded by some sort of ambition.

If Criston Cole has 0 haters, I’m dead.

[ovaryacted]

“No cause the Alicent and Criston scenes made me clutch my pearls”

NIC PLS I WHEEZED

LMFAOO PLEASE. IM NOT EVEN KIDDING I REALLY WAS IN SHOCK?? HOTD S2 SPOILERS BELOW.

Listen, I’m so serious when I say I wasn’t expecting Alicent to be getting her coochie ate by that bitchass excuse of a king’s guard soldier Criston in the first 30 minutes of the episode. We went from epic opening and Rae Rae trying to find the remains of her son to just moaning and I was so confused as to what was going on. Then I saw it was Alicent and went “woah okay?? Get your jush”

BUT THEN THE CAMERA PANNED TO CRISTON AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE FREAK? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!”

I may have forgotten a little of S1 so I’ll rewatch it but like…they took me off guard. I don’t blame Alicent, like poor girl had to sleep with an old decaying man when she was like 15/16 just to produce an heir to the throne as a way to usurp Rhaenyra cause of Otto Hightower’s fake ass who pimped out his only daughter. But I truly was not expecting to get not one, but TWO scenes of Alicent getting her goonies beat down by Criston. I’m not a puritanical bitch by any means, but seeing that on the screen shook me like woah have some class! 😭

What’s funny to me about the whole thing is the fact that Criston legit slept with Rhaenyra and wanted her to run away with him to the Orange meadows whatever the fuck. Mind you, she was literally 16 and heir to the iron throne, and he just expected her to drop everything for him cause he got some coochie, and when she said no he said he didn’t want to be her whore so he got all pissy cause he’s a soiled kings guard and broke the rule of chastity. MIND YOU, he did all that just to be Alicent’s whore and not even give a fuck.

If Criston Cole has no haters, I’m dead. I legit don’t like him, it’s a shame he’s fine though.

[emilbh]

If Criston Cole has 10 haters, I’m one of them. If Criston Cole has 1 hater it’s me. If Criston Cole has no haters, I’m dead.

[slaughter-kin]

if criston cole has no haters i’m dead

[im-mizz-brightside]

If Crispy Cole has no haters I’m dead

[avaliveradio]

Groundbreaking Hip Hop Tracks of December 2022 to Blow The Roof off

Hip hop has come a long way. What we once knew as hip hop has gone through multiple divisions that pulled it apart and put it back together again in very unusual ways. We are seeing layers of sounds and spiritual elements as well as influences of Heavy Metal and cyber trap. The directions that Hip Hop artists are going with their music is diverse and unique so we gathered a short list of favourites we heard in December 2022.

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Radio host Jacqueline Jax blows the roof off with some Groundbreaking Hiphop tracks that just arrived for December 2022. Hip-hop has come a long way. What we once new hip-hop has gone through multiple divisions that pulled it apart and put it back together in unusual ways. This edition of our hip-hop show offers you some very diverse and unique new songs.

Discover Hip hop on our playlist updating daily..

Featured Artists..

WhoBe - Suck the Blood

Release date: Dec 08, 2022

Genre: Trap (Hip-hop)

Other: Brostep

Similar artists: Travis Scott, Lil Uzi vert, Rick Ross, Skrillex

Suck the blood is a classic trap song which ends with a surprise. This Visionary Sound design fused with Spiritual enchantments and ritualistic rhythms brings the artists Cyber Trap sound to light as her pulls from influences like Travis Scott, Playboi Carti and Michael Jackson. WhoBe draws inspiration from Heavy Metal acts like Slipknot and Ozzy.

TikTok - Instagram

Nicki Knightz -Bigger Things

Release date: Dec 13, 2022

Genre: Rap, Old-school Hip-Hop, Alternative Hip-Hop

Similar artists: Young Ma, FLOHIO, Little Simz, J Cole, LEX AMOR, Enny, Jeshi, Slowthai, Loyle Carner

'Bigger Things' a reflective, smooth track describing the mindset of an artist balancing working a dead end 9-5 job and also having ambition/dreams of pursuing a music career. A nostalgic sultry piece accompanied by vocals from Ivohé.

A voice for the outcasts, routing out of Hackney, rapper Nicki Knightz’s emotional turmoil is easily identifiable through her husky tone and self-descriptive lyrics over demanding, bass fuelled alternative production. Inspired by ‘B.I.G’s’ smooth flows and low tones, Nicki’s voice is still nothing short of ‘unique’ and raw, accompanied by her partner @hennyknightz left-field production, making her ‘sound’ even more of a breath of fresh air categorising it underneath the genre – Alternative Hip-hop.

SoundCloud - TikTok - Spotify - YouTube - Instagram

KOSHA DILLZ - Rise Up

Release date: Dec 02, 2022

Genre: Hip-Hop / Conscious Hip-Hop

Similar artists: mac miller

"Yo! You wlll dig a strong hip hop song with quality lyrics about fighting all the horrible anti-semitism and standing up for yourself but it sounds fire!!! Something different but needed! With all the rising antisemitism in the pop culture market, Kosha Dillz has released the follow-up for his song Death Con 3 which dissed Ye for his original remarks. The viral song hit millions of views and of course, the follow-up The hip-hop song has a core bounce to attack all the haters and it is a good time for all to rise up. You can hear it all in the lyrics he spits on the chorus.

"They appear to have flavor it's all disguised. Hatred is what I hate when kids got it normalized. I'm trying to live every day and lead a normal life cuz we started from the bottom and up is where we rise."

SoundCloud - TikTok -Facebook - Twitter - Spotify - Bandcamp - Instagram

Otilefty - Follow Me

Released by: Otilefty On The Beat

Genre: Afrobeats / Afro-pop / Afro-fusion

Similar artists: Wizkid, BOJ, Burna Boy, Rema, Omah Lay

“Follow Me” is a single from my upcoming EP titled “Pree My Life”. I intend on releasing this project at the end of January. I also produced and engineered this track to showcase my versatility. This single is part of my upcoming EP i intend on releasing in January 2023. So far it has been playlisted on audiomack Africa official playlists. I intend to promote this track as much as i can and possibly seek to get a publishing deal going forward for this track and my upcoming EP that is yet to be released.

Producer, songwriter and sound engineer born in Lagos, Nigeria. Lefty as he often prefers to be addressed moved to England in his early teens and continued to nurture his sound and blend music from Nigeria, US & UK into his own. “Music is all about Simplicity” he often says. Dive into his unique sound where creating vibes yet catchy melodies that communicates directly to the soul.

TikTok -Twitter -Spotify -YouTube -Instagram

Roman Toyi - LAF (feat. Justy)

Release date: Dec 07, 2022

Genre: Rap Hip-Hop / Conscious Hip-Hop/ Alternative Hip-Hop

Similar artists: Justy, Chris Patrick, Redveil, Kenny mason, Wakai, Alex Wiley, The Mind & Cj fly

"This begins the rollout for my upcoming project with features including mick Jenkins, cam the artisan & producer/ artist Origami beats & Gami.

LAF short for “life ain’t fair”, is the lead single from the upcoming “Shades: The Gray Area” project. Life ain’t fair is a gray topic, set with questions of why and how come and even prompting solutions that seem so simple but in reality are harder to obtain that given credit. The hook “ Life ain’t fair I’m aware that anything goes, Life ain’t fair I hope you aware of that tho” is a reminder that we all operate in this space, unfair, unjust and simple yet complex.

Through Almost a decade or creating music, Roman Toyi has made a clear point that Style and lyricism are the only tunes he understands. Utilizing his vocals as an additional instrument beyond the beat is not an aspect new to music but as a Rapper or Hiphop creative the notion can be overlooked more times than less. Roman offers honestly from his life while setting the tone of invoking true emotion from an audience. 

TikTok - Spotify - Instagram - Apple Music

Pelligroso -Street Poetry

Release date: Dec 09, 2022

Released by: Give A Beat Records

Hip-Hop / Conscious Hip-Hop

“Street Poetry” is the debut single by the talented multi-instrumentalist Pelligroso (whose birth name is Koeppell McDade) and the second single launched by Give a Beat Records.

Incarcerated for four years and released in September 2020, Pelligroso’s inspiration for writing the track came from his experience behind bars. He hopes listeners will take away a new understanding of the incarceration system with this first release. “Music is my therapy,” the artist expressed.

“Street Poetry” came to life as Pelligroso collaborated with L.A.-based rapper and producer Zeroh. “He knew exactly what he wanted to do going into it, which made it very easy to drop in and have fun during the recording and editing process,” Zeroh explained. “Sessions like that don't feel like work really; there's enough space to have more meaningful conversation that ultimately helps to illuminate the artist's message/vision."

Zenodro -  Ven Aqui feat. Zano

Trap (Hip-hop)Rap

Moods: Energetic, Aggressive

Similar artists: jack harlow

An upbeat song, with a catchy chorus and great lyrics. "This is my third new song. Rapper from New Jersey. I have an eclectic style, being able to rap over any type of beat.

Facebook -Twitter -Spotify -Instagram

Pj Panda - Christmas In The Livin’room

Release date: Nov 25, 2022

Trap (Hip-hop)

Other: Holiday Music, Trap (EDM)

Moods: Energetic, Happy

Let the fun and dope times begin this holiday with Pj Panda’s Christmas In The Livin’room

TikTok Spotify - Instagram

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[idontneednofuckinhug]

My 2018 Top 15 albums of the year

2018 was a stupidly productive year in terms of music, the last time there was this much quantity and quality of great projects and artists was probably the early 2010s when a lot of the current crop of big names were only just making a name for themselves. As a wannabe music critic I figured I'd enjoy writing and sharing the albums I've enjoyed the most this year - when I started making the list I realized exactly how much dope projects there were this year and how hard would it be for me to rank anything outside of my top 5, as I knew that was my top 5 before I even started making the list, but everything else was a nightmare. A lot of great projects, from some notable artists at that, were left out and honestly people would probably throw shit at me for some of the inclusions in my list. It's a list with a lot of musical styles and with a mix of proven artists and artists only just starting to make a name for themselves. Without further ado, let's start this list - I'll keep it brief for every album, whilst still trying to give the exact reason why I loved it.

15. J. Cole - KOD Never in my life did I think I'd rate a J. Cole album as one of my favourites of the year, I always called him a corny, fake-woke nigga who I just couldn't enjoy, because of wack bars like "You can't outfart me". Well, I was proven wrong, this year the guy made a complete 180 in the rap industry and proved people like me wrong. The project included a lot of trap beats, something completely new for him and was kept very minimalistic in terms of lyrics, whilst still making a great point and making comments on social issues, especially on songs like ATM and Kevin's Heart, discussing the curse that is money and how hard it is to be faithful nowadays. Genre: Conscious trap/Conscious rap.

14. Kali Uchis - Isolation Although she's been around for a bit, Kali Uchis's music still sounds very raw and she's still trying to find her sound in my opinion - and that's what I love about her. Isolation isn't an album you can put a label on - from Spanish pop, to RnB, to neo soul and even some hip-hop and funk, this album has everything and it's beautiful. Kali shows off her sexiness, whilst at the same time she sings about still being young and unsure about where she's going in her life, and about some of the decisions she wished she didn't do. The album is beautiful from start to finish, and although there are some blips ( I honestly didn't like the song with Gorillaz too much), I absolutely loved the passion and energy in this project. Genre: Pop/Rap/Funk/Neo Soul/ RnB/ Folk?

13. Sylvan LaCue - Apologies in Advance Probably a bit forgotten by most people since it was released on the 12th of January and because Sylvan is still relatively underground, AA is a very deep and emotional project, complemented by very jazzy and mellow production. Sylvan made an amazing concept album, showcasing the emotions you'd feel in an AA(Anonymous Alcoholics meeting), even adding 12 interludes for each step you have to take in such a meeting. The album promotes opening up about your inner demons and self-love and honestly I can't get enough of it even a year later. Genre: Jazz rap

12. Sons of Kemet - Your Queen is a Reptile An album I only just found out about, but one of my favourite jazz projects of all time after listening to it tens of times in the last week. Sons of Kemet don't seem to wear any influences on this album and have a completely unique and avant-garde sound which reflects on the album as a whole. Some parts are very mellow and traditionally jazzy and out of nowhere the song just picks up speed and starts adding tradionally african sounds, creating the feeling that you're back in the 19th century, hearing the immigrants from Africa playing their instruments. Each song represents a strong black woman from history and the album has lyrics discussing black plight. Genre: Avant-garde jazz/ Experimental jazz

11. Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs It's been a really hard year for Earl. His dad died and he never managed to amend their relationship, which was the original plan for SRS. I was very used to the typical Earl sound from the early to mid 2010s, mellow beats with very dark lyrics, with him changing flows up and making the english language his bitch. Nope. This album showcased a completely new Earl, with beats you'd never think he'd use but when you listen to him, you still know it's Earl with his crazy rhyme patterns and disgusting wordplay. The album feels like an acid trip from start to finish and my favourite Odd Future member manages to open up about his inner demons once again, and once again doing it amazingly. Genre: Hip-hop

10. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - Kids see Ghosts Out of nowhere, Kanye and Kid Cudi dropped a collab project, part of Kanye's five-drop in May and June. I wasn't expecting much as Cudi had disappointed me with his last few projects and I didn't really feel Kanye's "ye" too much. I was wrong. This album was amazing. Two people struggling with mental illness and loving themselves came out with an album with a completely new concept to both of them, discussing self love and redeeming yourself, finding what you love again. The album has this inspired production, which sounds like nothing I've ever heard, best described as psychedelic hip-hop or even rock. Although only 10th on my list, you need to listen to this album, because it's absolutely remarkable. Genre: Psychedelic Hip-hop/ Psychedelic rock?

9. Playboi Carti - Die Lit A lesson in minimalism. People have been biting Carti's style the last couple of years, whilst at the same time he's been getting a lot of crap for his lack of lyricism and the simplicity in his music. Instead of listening to all of the haters, Playboi Carti came out with a project which I'd say nearly perfects his style and what he's so good at - he lets the production and beats shine, having very minimalist lyrics and employing a vibe and energy no other trapper could create. He also mocks the people hating on him on the album with lyrics such as "Bought my mom a house of that mumblin' shit", reminding everyone where he's exactly at. Genre: Trap

8. Rico Nasty - Nasty I swear people forgot about Rico Nasty this year, although she released one of the most energetic and aggressive trap projects and honestly, bodying anything Nicki or Cardi dropped, quality wise atleast. She completely embraces her "different" persona on this album, having songs titles like "Bitch I'm Nasty" and having lyrics such as "Goodness gracious, I might give a fuck on some occasion". The album is full of this angry energy, making you want to go and break a door, whilst at the same time having witty and even humorous lyrics which keep your attention. Keep an eye on this one. Genre: Trap

7. Anderson .Paak - Oxnard Honestly, not as good as Malibu or Venice for me, but considering how high it is in my list, I think you can figure out exactly how great Andy is. This album really rejuvenates the spirit of funky and soulful hip-hop, with Paak keeping his carefree persona. It's full of groovy energy which makes you want to just dance and let go, whilst at the same time having some very funny skits and powerful and even aggressive moments. Whilst in his previous projects he had a very laid-back vibe, in this one Anderson .Paak shows us he's made it, and pretty much throws the funk and blues in your face, making for a very energetic, but relaxing listen. Genre: Hip-hop/Jazz rap/RnB/Funk/Soul

6. SABA - CARE FOR ME A very emotional and deep project, the Chicago rapper finally got the attention he deserved with his 2nd album. The album is very detailed and melancholic, in it SABA discussing issues he has with himself, the lack of love he feels he receives and the need of warmth and someone beside him. The album has beautiful singy-song moments, including a song with BJ the Chicago kid, but whilst pretty, these moments are also very dark and disturbing, as SABA often slurs his speech in them. He also discusses some of his childhood memories on the project, showcasing the hardships of growing up in a city like Chicago and the roots of some of his deep trauma. Genre: Jazz rap/ Neo soul

5. Denzel Curry - TABOO/TA1300 Dark. Angry. Powerful. Beautiful. Scary. This album has everything. The rapper split the album into three parts, which although a very new concept, proved to be a genius one. The light part of the album, which he starts it off with, shows him working on his happiness and showing everyone that his life is good and he's achieving his dreams. The second part of the album, Grey, showcases him reflecting objectively on the people hating on him, the hardships and successes of his life and the reality of the industry. The album ends with the Dark part, in which Denzel shows all of his anger, metaphorically shouting at the listener about his drug issues, about the people trying to tell him what to do and wanting to even go as far as murder. Genre: Trap/Hip-hop

4. Jpegmafia - Veteran Daaaaamn Peggy. The nigga who gives no fucks about anyone's feelings got it right. Already receiving some attention for absurd songs like "I killed a cop, now I'm Horny" and "I'd vote 4 Dona Trump", Jpegmafia made an experimental hip-hop album, consisting of raw energy and aggresiveness in some parts, and mellow and thoughtful production in others. The album has absurd samples like ODB screaming, WWE's Edge's soundtrack and guns reloading. Peggy raps about topics from wanting a nigga to test him, wanting to hear Yes Julz moan, addressing the people telling him he sold out and and even saying he doesn't care that Neogaf is dead. It's a genius work of art exploring the twisted depths of an army veteran's mind. Genre: Experimental hip-hop

3. Noname - Room 25 One of the softest and most soulful hip-hop albums of recent times, Noname once again proves how genius her lyrics can be, whilst keeping a jazzy vibe. The album is full of small details, from the proudction to the poet's lines telling the story of her life, from the beautiful to the ugly. Although at some points you can call her rapping rambling, she does so in a very soft and feminine way, reeling you in to actually want to hear more of her story, instead of being annoyed she isn't stopping. Full of relaxing and mesmerizing hooks, this album really reminds of the good old-school jazz vibe, mixed with genius storytelling and lyrics and keeping a fresh and new vibe to it, very much reminding me of A Tribe Called Quest in some regards. Genre: Neo Soul/ Jazz-rap

2. Armand Hammer - Paraffin Honestly this was my album of the year until the last few weeks, when a certain other person decided to finally drop his project. Billy Woods and Elucid once again go into the dephts of being a working-class rapper, with very hard hitting production, which although minimalistic, projects a very scary and even tiring vibe a some points, portraying what it's like to live life in a regular way. Full meaningful lyrics, and having some some very memorable hooks like "You don't work, you don't eat", Paraffin is an artistic expression of how hard it is to be an artist, whilst being unable to make enough money off of your art. Genre: Experimental hip hop

My honorable mentions, which sadly didn't make the list but were amazing projects still: Jorja Smith - Lost & Found; Pusha T - Daytona; Amine - ONEPOINTFIVE; Hermit and the Recluse - Orpheus vs the Sirens; Rae Sremmund - SR3MM; Rejjie Snow - Dear Annie; Sheck Wes - MUDBOY

1. JID - DiCaprio 2 I've known JID was next up for a year and a half now. He proved it in his last album, he proved it in the XXL Freshman class and he proved it with DiCaprio 2. Having the swagger and a nasally voice of a young K-dot, whilst having his own style, an absurd ability to switch up and create flows on the go, wordplay and lyricism which could rival even Ab-Soul and one-liners that stick like glue, JID released arguably the best project this year, hitting a mark as much as projects like Section.80 for me personally. Full of amazing production, from aggressive and trappy beats, to boom-bap, to jazzy rap and even having moments in which he sings. The Atlanta rapper comletely murders every beat, outraps every feature, including guys like Joey Bada$$, J. Cole, Method Man and 6LACK and makes 2018 his own with a project which in my opinion, will age like fine wine and will be remembered as the moment a modern legend was born. Genre: Jazz-rap/Conscious rap/ Hip-hop

[fandomn00blr]

Dread Moon, Chapter 13 Excerpt

[Context: Post-Inquisition, Pre-Trespasser...Dorian has been ‘rescued’ and is headed back to Skyhold with his Inquisition fam. Anders is struggling to find his place in Kirkwall again, and without Justice. Hawke tries to big sister him to repair their friendship. It starts to work...sorta.]

[Oh shit! Also...have I mentioned how important Orana’s cinnamon buns are to keeping all of Hawke’s friends from killing each other?]

...

A hungover Evelyn was not happy that she had to practically drag Dorian and Cullen aboard the ship Harding had chartered for them the next morning. Bull, and even Alarion, who was technically their prisoner, though it was easy to forget that he would be taken directly to the dungeons as soon as they arrived at Skyhold, came along much more willingly. Aveline as Guard-Captain, and Varric as the official Inquisition ambassador in Kirkwall were there to see them off, and Merrill had accompanied them, having woken up as bright and chipper as ever before sunrise. Hawke and the others opted to sleep in and enjoy the comforts of the Hawke estate, which most of them had been missing for the past few weeks, months, and even years, in Anders’ case.

Just like old times, Orana had cinnamon buns baking and coffee brewing by the time Hawke even realized she’d missed her chance to say goodbye.

She rolled over, from dead asleep to wide awake in an instant. “Fenris!” The mid-morning sun was already streaming in through the curtains. “How could you let me sleep in and miss sending Trevelyn and Cully-Wully off?”

Fenris had already gone for a morning run, done his meditations, bathed, dressed, and was reading on the chaise across the room while enjoying a bowl of strawberries with his cinnamon bun and a cup of hot water and lemon, all parts of his routine that he had been missing dearly for quite some time.

“It’s not really a matter of ‘letting’ you…” he murmured, not looking up from his book.

“Is everyone else gone, too?”

“Isabela just woke up. She’s downstairs with Anders and Orana in the kitchen trying to convince someone to make her an omelette. Your sister said she had to go meet another potential donor for the College. And Merrill went with Varric and Aveline.”

“Why?”

Fenris shrugged, finally looking up at her. “Perhaps she was just being nice?”

“Weird.” She eyed his plate. “Are there anymore cinnamon buns?”

Fenris smiled and shook his head, returning his attention to the book. “I’m sure Orana saved you one.”

Hawke spent the rest of the morning nursing her hangover, gossiping with Isabela and Varric when he returned from the Docks, helping Merrill move more of her stuff into the estate, and insisting on buying Anders a new robe and a trip to the barber.

“You can keep the beard, Anders! But it’s in desperate need of some tidying up. Hobo apostate chic is so...not a thing anymore. And your hair could use a trim, too. The messy man bun still works for you, I think, but the dead ends...you’ve just taken the look way too far.”

“Even I get my glorious chest hair groomed…” Varric bragged, puffing his chest out even more than usual.

Merrill’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

“Next time, Daisy...I’ll let you tag along to my appointment.”

“Oh! How fun!”

“I just don’t think I need --” Anders began to protest again.

Isabela eyed him knowingly. “No harm in cleaning yourself up! You know...in case you run into anyone cute…”

Anders shot her a quick glare and then turned back to Hawke. “Fine,” he sighed in defeat.

...

An afternoon shopping with and cleaning Anders up turned out to be quite exhausting for both of them, and they headed back to the Hawke estate tired, hungry, and irritable, but not entirely unsuccessful.

“It looks good, you know…” Hawke grumbled, trying not to look like she was admiring him too much. No one could ever call Anders ‘ugly,’ but new clothes and a bit of grooming had certainly reminded her how attractive he was. “I think eating food the past few days has helped a lot, too,” she added, just to annoy him.

“Thanks,” he grunted begrudgingly. He had thought the barber had done a fine job of accentuating the parts of his face that he didn’t completely hate. And the robe he’d picked, after so much fretting, was a nice teal velvet, free-flowing and comfortable, weighted perfectly for his tall lanky frame, with lots of useful pockets inside for potions and herbs and tools. It had gold accents that brought out the amber of his eyes and the various shades of blonde that actually washing his hair had revealed. Even he had to admit that it was nice to look down and appreciate what he was wearing, and how he looked in a mirror for the first time in...well, since he’d come to Kirkwall, really. Justice hadn’t really had much patience for vanity, after all.

But the two of them actually sharing a moment of gratitude and appreciation was short-lived.

“Anders, get behind me…” Hawke muttered, glaring ahead of them into the lengthening shadows of one of Kirkwall’s many winding alleys.

A large sinister-looking figure stepped out, brandishing a Templar’s sword from under his ill-fitting cloak. Several others, smaller in stature, but no less ill-intended emerged behind him. All of them wore hoods or masks to hide their faces. Hawke grinned. Too afraid to even reveal themselves...this would be easy.

“Our beef isn’t with you, Champion. Best get out of the way,” the big one muttered.

Hawke laughed. “I thought we routed all you inbred mage-haters out of the city years ago! Show your faces, you cowards!”

“We represent Kirkwall. You brought this murderer, this terrorist, back to our city, just as we had begun to rebuild from what he did, and we intend to do what you could not five years ago before he does anymore harm.”

“Kirkwall is BETTER NOW, you idiot! Are you so blinded by your ignorance and hate that you don’t see it?”

“I ask you once more, to please step aside. And let this man answer for his crimes.”

“No.”

“You don’t have to do this...” Anders muttered behind her.

“Oh, shut up. You know I do!” she said through gritted teeth, refusing to take her eyes off of the menacing group forming in front of them.

“Very well, then. Try not to kill the Champion, but if you must...” He motioned toward them with his sword and the rest of the group swarmed out of the alley, swords and knives and bows out in front of them. There were far more of them than Hawke had imagined, but they were clearly not trained or very well-organized, and many of their weapons were makeshift or old family heirlooms, heavy and rusted. Most of them didn’t stand a chance. Anders noticed several of the hooded figures were small, child-sized, even for dwarves, and he felt his stomach drop.

“Hawke, don’t!” he shouted. “They’re mostly civilians! And children!”

“They want to kill you!” Hawke shouted back, daggers flashing as she unsheathed them, ready to pounce on the first person who dared to attack. “Civilian or not!”

Anders was panicking. He didn’t want this. This is precisely why he’d hidden himself away in a cave for five years. He felt himself reaching for Justice, trying to will him to take over. He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to see this, didn’t want to be a witness or to have to decide between his own life and that of someone else, let alone a child, however murderous. Justice could make those hard decisions. Justice could protect him from the guilt. But Justice was gone.

“Faith and Justice send their regards…” a familiar voice murmured. In his head? Mostly...though his shimmering presence was beginning to coalesce nearby. Compassion.

“Cole! Can you help?!”

The figure nodded, and Hawke did a double-take when she finally noticed him.

“Who…?”

“Nevermind! Get out of the way, Hawke!”

She stepped aside as the shimmering spirit-boy-thing walked right into Anders, and a blinding golden light exploded out of him, pushing the angry mob back as they shielded their eyes.

“Abomination!” the leader of the group cried out, his cloak thrown back revealing full Templar armor underneath, though it was ill-fitting and unpolished. “We must kill him before he transforms into a demon!”

But many of the others had begun to back away, lowering their weapons, pulling their friends and family members along with them.

“Your friends are smart.” Hawke grinned at the man, sauntering up to him with a swagger that Anders had always both loved and hated in equal measure. “Show me that Templar sword again, big man.”

He raised his sword in front of himself defensively, but he couldn’t hide his trembling.

“And take off that stupid hood!” Hawke whipped one of her daggers up and knocked his hood back to reveal a plump-faced, orange-haired man with a ruddy complexion. He looked terrified. “Ah, of course! Ser Mettin! Who let you back into the city? I thought we’d made it quite clear you weren’t welcome here after you threatened to...hmmm...what did you say about my sister? ‘Put that little witch in her place’?”

She dragged her dagger across his cheek, tracing the line of a scar that ran from his ear to his nose. “Bethany gave you this with one flick of her wrist, but you deserved worse. My sister really is the kind and benevolent one of the family. She’s busy at the moment, so I’ll go ahead and finish you off for her.”

“This is my city, too! You and your sister and your friends can’t just do as you please!”

“Why not? Meredith and the Templars certainly did for more than a decade…”

“That was different!”

“You’re right. She was cruel and abusive and driven to madness by her greed for power. We’ve just been trying to help this Maker-forsaken city.”

“Hawke, let him go,” Anders said. Cole was back beside him, watching curiously as Hawke pressed her dagger against his other cheek.

“He doesn’t deserve that…” she mused, sliding the dagger down his jaw to his throat. “How many other mages did you ‘put in their place,’ Mettin?”

Suddenly a barrier flashed between Hawke and Mettin, and the man winced, half expecting it to have been some kind of killing spell. “Let him go!”

Hawke turned around, livid with Anders for interfering with her kill, and it gave Mettin just enough time to throw his hood back up over his head and take off in the other direction.

“Go back to the estate!” she shouted angrily, preparing to pursue him.

“It’s not worth it, Hawke,” Anders sighed.

“I know...he’s pathetic, right? Totally out of shape...I bet he dies of a heart attack before I even get to slit his throat.”

Anders looked at her pleadingly, those damn doe eyes of his begging mercy for the man who’d just tried to incite an angry mob against them. She’d always had a weakness for them, and especially now, with his hair pulled back away from his face, and the new robe with its contrasting teal and gold drawing all her attention to them.

“Fuck, Anders! But he’s complete garbage,” she whined.

“So forget him. Let’s just go.”

Hawke stared longingly down the dark alley, then sighed. “Fine…”

...

[meleys-the-red-queen]

If I had a nickel for every time Criston Cole didn’t do his job and it resulted in a royal family member being hurt/killed, I’d have TWO nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

[hannahlovestheatre]

Riverdale + Heathers = how very...(a good rant and review)

Ok so to start off if you're someone who doesn't watch Riverdale and only watched it solely to watch this episode because you thought it would be "trash" or you were politely curious or whateva whateva, here's a small, spoiler free synopsis of what's been going on this season...

This season of Riverdale has had a hard focus on cults and a massive drug possession. The people running this cult are complete wackadoos and Betty Cooper is determined to stop them as they have taken her mom and sister and also they are bringing out the worst in the citizens of Riverdale and ya know KILLING SOME OF THEM. The cult branches out from a creepy board game come to life called Gryphons and Gargoyles but we don't have to touch on that as much. The drug thing is all on Veronica Lodge's father but her mom has been helping on the side and so has Jughead's mom. Everyone in the town is turning against each other and it's been hard to find trust in people that don't see things through the eyes of "The Farm" or are trying to distribute some strong ass drugs.

Tbh that's not even a good description but it gives some good background on the main points of drugs and cults. Now...

Heathers is a world renowned CULT classic movie. The creators clearly used the term to their advantage (literally the only people to applaud at the end of the school's production were the MEMBERS OF THE CULT) and once again connected their characters to the characters of another piece of work and saw this as another opportunity to do a musical episode considering their Carrie one was a success for them even though it wasn't everyone's favorite, but of course I liked it, and Heathers is now a staple to the world of musical theatre.

I think that the Heathers episode was executed a lot better than the Carrie one. I appreciated the Carrie one more because that musical is so slept on and they were able to get the word out about it. But the Carrie episode was more focused on being an episode about the school musical and showed more of the rehearsal process and what the numbers looked like in their production rather than incorporating the songs into real life to make them seem more relatable. The Heathers episode actually incorporated itself into the current storyline of the show and helped tie up some loose ends with the relationships of this season. All the songs they used supported the conflicts and state of mind for each character. They didn't even have the cast sing songs that their Heathers characters sing like for example Betty and Jughead sang Seventeen even though Betty was cast as Duke and Jughead isn't even in the show (we will touch on this later because I think my puddle of tears is still in the living room). They also heard our prayers to have Casey Cott sing more and then threw Cole Sprouse in there to make it even better. (Thanks Riverdale creators!)

Long story short, it seemed more like if Glee were doing a Heathers episode which I stan hard as I am the biggest gleek to ever gleek.

I think they picked all the right songs, Fight For Me was the biggest surprise choice to me but I liked what they did with it again for context sake. If they had found a way to add Freeze Your Brain, The Me Inside of Me, and/or Shine a Light I would have been interested in seeing that. It also would have been cool to see I Say No (Betty would have nailed it as she is saying a big fat no to this cult).

I also wasn't as mad about them using the lyric changes that are in the school edition because it hit me. This is a HIGH SCHOOL putting on a production of HEATHERS THE MUSICAL. Since most schools would either get a big checkmark in the NO box to even put on the show, if a school did get the clear to put on Heathers, they would 100% have to do the school edition. So ya know what haters, they're actually being realistic with the production they actually got the rights to put on. It makes so much sense coming from a hardcore theatre nerd like myself.

Yes I would say some of the cast was autotuned but my mom thought everyone was a great singer and she was very genuine in that comment. Casey Cott, Lilli Reinhart, and Camila Medes are definitely the most polished but Vanessa Morgan, KJ Apa, Madelaine Petsch, Ashleigh Murray, and COLE SPROUSE are also very strong singers. They have more guts to sing this hard score than most people do in community theatre productions of Heathers.

I do think the casting of their musical was mostly spot on only I didn't really see Josie playing Veronica. But going back to my point on the episode not really touching on the actual musical production of Heathers that's happening, it didn't really matter. They pretty much never showed her singing Veronica's stuff so it went right over my head. I think Toni could have been a great Veronica as her Dead Girl Walking had spot on interpretation but actually Betty could have knocked it out of the park as Veronica and Toni could have been Duke to heighten the conflict between her and Cheryl at the time. They didn't HAVE to do it this way because they know the show better than we do but if I were casting Hearthers with Riverdale characters, that's where my head was going.

I know everyone said Betty should be McNamara and Veronica should be Duke but as I watched the episode, I realized everyone based that off looks because McNamara's dad is "LOADED" and the poor girl tries to kill herself because of what goes on outside of the social circle aka literally what Veronica is going through on the show right now. It all clicked. I believed her when she sang Lifeboat. And Betty is a low key savage. She isn't thirsty for Cheryl's power in real life but she does want to make a statement and be heard and to win this battle over the town cult. It made sense once I saw it in front of me.

Cheryl is Heather Chandler. Period.

And again they didn't really focus on their actual production of Heathers and that particular cast but let me say this rn. If Cole Sprouse does not play JD at any point on the future, the world is cancelled. I really didn't think he would ever sing in these kind of episodes or at all, because the show does have the actors perform on occasion. However, when they announced this was happening, I had a glimmer of hope that Jughead would play JD because it makes so much sense...and then he didn't...and then he sang Seventeen anyways and broke my fucking heart. I'm not sure if he really was singing the entire time because the man went up an entire octave between the verse and the chorus but man I was picturing a future production of Heathers starring Cole Sprouse and Lilli Reinhart. It needs to happen. This was literally 2 minutes of the episode and idek if y'all feel the same way but man it wrecked my emotions and my OG Disney Channel stan was losing her mind over Cole Sprouse singing her favorite song from Heathers.

It's 11:47 PM so I need to wrap this up before I fall asleep and forget everything lol.

As a wrap up, I really liked this musical episode and I really liked the other one but it really grinds my effin gears when people jump to conclusions because theatre people aren't doing theatre things. Theatre is inclusive. The arts are inclusive. We can't close our walls to the select few people that "got our criteria to be in the community" (oh wait, isn't that like a cult...? I guess their plan worked).

If you've seen my other posts you know I could rant about this topic for days but long story short, if you aren't willing to not just be a part of the community and welcome everyone in and accept everything as its separate entities but still have your opinions on it without jumping to conclusions...did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast because what's your damage? ❤💛💚💙

[evesbeve]

Lasagna: Paranormal Despacito

I did a livestream on YouTube, and wrote a one-shot with everyone watching. This is the result!

#LasagnaSquad

#AnxietyShipping

Summary: Lasagna Man has kidnapped Lloyd, and Jay has to save him. An adventure about falling in love, meeting new friends, and T-posing while singing Despacito.

Ninjago, 24th June 2018, 14:37

It was a nice noon in Ninjago. Cole was experimenting with food, when he felt something weird in his body. It was as if he was being possessed.

And he was.

Casper the ghost was very bored and took over his body to have fun. He took some tea from Wu's tea shelf and threw it in the lasagna. Then, he passed out.

It was Lloyd's turn to try out Cole's cooking. The ninja took turns eating it, since it was so terrible. With sorrow in his eyes, Lloyd took a bite.

He felt dizzy.

He was about to call Kai for help, but before he could say anything, he disappeared with the bowl of lasagna in hand.

Jay, who was at the room next door, heard a mini explosion. He ran to the kitchen, and was shocked to see Cole passed out. He slapped him.

"Wake up, Cole!" Jay said, slapping him. "What happened?"

Cole opened his eyes and stared at Jay. "Jay, Casper possessed me. Before I passed out completely, I saw Lloyd disappear. He popped out of existence. You have to help him."

And then, Cole passed out once again.

Jay knew what he had to do. He summoned his dragon while doing cyclondo at the same time, because I miss it since the Hagemans got rid of it. He went to his dad's lab and found his updated Borg Watch.

He looked into the screen of the tool and spotted some lasagna paranormal activity in a random dimension. He quickly pressed on the screen and teleported…

But he clicked on the wrong option, sending him somewhere else.

Queens, 24th June 2018, 15:49

Peter was at the verge of crying as he walked out of Stark Industries. He couldn't believe Tony didn't let him take part in their next mission. He was an Avenger! It was just unfair.

Peter looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star… but it was daytime! He soon realised it was nothing else but a screaming teenager falling from the sky.

Peter quickly shot some spider-webs and caught the young man, saving him from sure death.

"It's okay, buddy, I've got you now. You're safe!" Peter said, landing somewhere safe.

"I HAVE FINGERS!" Jay screamed, looking at his hands.

Peter was confused by the brunet's reaction. He looked at him, making eye contact.

He was beautiful.

He had never seen someone so beautiful. His freckles were adding to his adorableness. His bright blue eyes were staring back at him with the same curiosity.

"H-Hi…" Jay said, breaking the silence first. "Thanks for saving me."

"It's my job, don't worry about it." Peter said, placing him on the ground. It had only been a few seconds and he already missed his warmth. "I'm Peter."

"I'm gay." Jay said, and quickly regretted his choice of words. "I MEANT JAY!"

"Oh, you aren't?" Peter mumbled, disappointment filling his eyes. "Anyway, I was just-"

"Oh no! I forgot about Lloyd!" Jay interrupted.

"Who is Lloyd?" Peter asked.

"One of my best friends. He is like family. I have to save him!"

"I'll help!" Peter said. "It's not like I have anything left to do here."

"Okay, then let's go!" Jay said, grabbing Peter's arm and tapping on his watch's screen.

It was the best three seconds of Peter's life.

Detroit, 24th June 2039, 16:32

"Connor, stop licking the evidence for once in your life!" Hank complained, as Connor put the weird substunce on the floor into his mouth.

"It's… Strange." Connor said, after analyzing it. "It's thirium but it has lasagna in it."

"Pfff!" Hank huffed. "What kind of sick person would do that? More food for Sumo, I guess."

Suddenly, they heard two voices coming from the opening of the cave. They saw the shadow of two silhouettes holding hands.

"Stay back, Connor." Hank ordered, and Connor obeyed.

They soon came face to face with two teenage boys, who looked very lost, confused, but also… in love.

"Hi." Connor stepped in front of Hank, seeing how they were harmless. "My name is Connor. I'm the android sent by CyberLife. And you are?"

"I'm Peter Parker, also known as Spider-man in my dimension." Peter said, smiling.

"My name is Jay." Jay said. "Jay Walker."

Suddenly, Hank bursted into laughter. "HIS NAME IS JAY WALKER."

Peter glared at him and held Jay's hand tighter. "Don't you dare insult him, whatever-your-name-is!"

"I'm Hank Anderson." Hank said, holding back a laugh. "We're investigating a homicide."

"A homicide?" Jay gasped. "LLOYD IS DEAD?"

"We have yet to discover a body." Connor explained. "But there are traces of lasagna leading deep in this cave."

"I guess we should just team up, since we are looking for the same thing." Peter suggested, and no one went against it.

The group walked deeper into the cave, and suddenly, they heard a noise.

"TAKE COVER!" Jay screamed and fell on top of Peter to protect him.

A cheeseball flew past them.

Peter wanted to thank him, but he had no time, as another attack occured.

"What the fuck is happening?" Hank asked, clearly annoyed and shocked.

"YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE, DISRESPECT MY CHEESE."

The group looked ahead, seeing a yellow android standing in front of a cage.

On further notice, Jay realised that Lloyd was there!

"That's him! That's my friend!" Jay pointed at him. "Lloyd, are you okay?"

And then, something unbelievable happened.

"I'm okay, but fRESH AVOCADOO!"

"Is he always like that?" Peter asked.

"No…" Jay mumbled. "Something is wrong."

"I scanned him." Connor said. "He seems to be influenced by the lasagna. He can only meme, sing and rap."

"That's amazing." Hank snorted.

"Press F to pay respects." Lloyd said, tears rolling down his cheeks. He needed this to stop.

"I am sorry." Connor said. "The PS4 controller does not have an F. You can choose between the square, the triangle, the circle, and X."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Connor, let's just kill this guy." Hank said, pointing his gun at the Lasagna Deviant.

A cheeseball fell on Jay's Borg Watch, and an explosion happened. In a matter of seconds, they all disappeared.

Minecraft, 24th June 2018, 17:38

Jay groaned, opening his eyes. He felt something soft. He looked around him, only to see that he was sitting on top of Peter.

His heart was beating fast and he just couldn't stop thinking about getting closer to the other teen.

"Oh no…" Hank mumbled. "It can't be…"

The lieutenant looked around him, in shock. As a millennial, he knew exactly where he was.

Minecraft.

"My powers are only becoming stronger here!" Lasagna Man said, standing up. "Prepare to die!"

"Not so fast!" Lloyd said. "I have the power of God and anime by my side!"

"That's right, deviant!" Connor stood next to Lloyd. "Even though I am a deviant myself-"

"You're going down!" Peter said, helping Jay up.

"Noteblocks, go!" Jay said, and music started playing.

Lloyd T-posed, determined to stop Lasagna Man.

"My name is Lloyd,

you're a stupid android.

My rhymes are sick

and you'll die quick."

Lasagna Man T-posed too, hatred in his eyes.

"I'm a lasagna,

and I'm a brotha.

Do you know da way?

I am going to slay!"

Connor stepped in, T-posing hardcore.

"My software is stronger

You're like internet explorer!

Give up,

or get-"

Hank interrupted Connor, smirking and T-posing.

"-FUCKED!"

Jay and Peter got up as one, T-posing, feeling stronger than ever.

"We met two hours ago,

our love is real, here we go.

Our gayness sends you to hell

while we're going to taco bell."

Lloyd broke the T-post first, dabbing. Then everyone followed.

"DE

SPA

CITO!"

And everyone joined in, singing the lyrics, which they absolutely knew to heart.

"Now is your chance, Lloyd!" Jay yelled. "The final blow! Only you can stop this!"

Lloyd cleared his throat, and built a guitar. "I DON'T WANNA DO THE DISHES, NO MORE, I DON'T WANNA DO THE DISHES, NO MORE!"

Lasagna Man fell on his knees. "No… You're too strong…"

"You'll never win, Lasagna Man!" Jay said. "It's over!"

"NOOOOOO!" Lasagna Man screamed and exploded.

It was raining cheese.

"Oh nice, food for Sumo!" Hank said, putting it all in the fridge he just built. Because Minecraft.

"Jay, I don't feel so good…" Peter mumbled, sensing the end was near.

"Oh no!" Jay said, looking at his watch. "We hit the nuclear note! We have to get out of here before we die with this universe!"

Peter used his spider-webs to tie everyone together, and Jay teleported them all back to Detroit, where they said goodbye to Hank and Connor.

Then, they went back to Queens.

"I'll give you guys a moment." Lloyd said, turning away.

"Jay…" Peter said, holding both of the teenager's hands in his. "You showed me that I don't need to be depended on someone else. I can save the world on my own. But today, you saved my world."

Jay felt tears forming in his eyes. "You saved my world too, Peter. I will never forget this or you. You're the most perfect person I've ever met."

The two teenagers leaned in, closing their eyes. Before they knew it, their lips were touching, and they were kissing.

Jay was the first one to pull away, making eye contact again. He couldn't believe he wouldn't see these beautiful eyes again. "I love you, Peter."

Peter nodded, tears running down his own cheeks. "I love you too, Jay. We will meet again."

"Yes. For now, this is goodbye, my love."

The two teenagers handshaked, and then Jay disappeared with Lloyd.

Ninjago, 24th June 2018, 18:27

"We're back, my homies! Alexa, play despacito." Lloyd said, sitting on the couch.

"Cool bro." Kai said.

"We met an android." Jay added.

"Other than me?" Zane asked.

"And Jay has a boyfriend now." Lloyd said, teasing the blue ninja. "Dab on the haters, my homies."

"JAY HAS A BOYFRIEND!?" Cole screamed, finally waking up.

It was going to be a long evening.

THE END.

[killingdoll]

Warnings: spoilers, subjective opinions, careless language, messing up the order of events

In the last rant, I predicted that Sofya was likely to be killed while Elijah would survive the ordeal, y’know, thinking like a conventional viewer. After watching this episode, I felt the need to grab a facehugger and slap it against my face. Repeatedly. Never have I felt so wrong and stupid in my life, like the writers had super-kicked the chair under me and I never saw it coming as my face hit the floor. Hard.

Please excuse me a moment to pick up and put together my broken jaw.

So, in contrast to my prediction, Sofya survives whereas Elijah doesn’t. In other world, Taylor Cole’s job is secured whereas Daniel Gillies’ is put in jeopardy.

Nah, just kiddin’. Elijah is not gone. His leaving the show would be a risk too big to make at this point. Technically he’s dead – not those temporary, fake deaths we’ve seen at least a dozen times before – but he isn’t gone. Freya manages to grasp his dying soul and put it in the same pendant she used to keep Finn and Hope helps confirm that he is still in there. So the good news is his siblings and Hayley will stop at nothing to bring him back to life.

Kinda like the way Stefan was killed near the end of the fifth season and was revived later. To add to the suspense, y’know.

That is to say, Elijah haters, please contain your joy. You’re likely disappointed in a few next episodes.

Seriously, where are all the hates for Elijah coming from, aside from Davina’s matter? Some overzealous Klayley shippers?

(Keyword: some)

On the other hand, the bad news is in the tug war between Freya’s witchy power and the Hollow’s, the pendant shatters and so does Elijah’s mind. Cue Hayley’s journey into the labyrinth of the mind of her thousand-year-old immortal lover with lots of psychological issues in order to search and get said lover back. Cue the Red Door storyline we’ve been waiting since its introduction in the second season. Kinda anxious to see the fabled ‘Beast’ behind the Red Door.

Wait, is this the Beauty and Beast storyline?!

I remember writing an original story similar to this: a beautiful woman wanders into the dark corners and releases the beast, literally and figuratively.

Extremely curious about Hayley’s reaction when facing the Beast, a part of Elijah that she has never witnessed for herself. Will she embrace it or will it decimate their relationship?

On a side note, R.I.P to all Strix members. Lucky for you Hell is already burnt to crisp (kind of an irony isn’t it?).

Rest, dear Tristan, for your five-year torment finally comes to an end. After watching his deleted scene in the third season, I was a bit glad that he was freed from his everlasting cage.

Also, R.I.P to my hope of seeing Tristan onscreen ever again. Where the heck is his vampire origin storyline?

Forever bitter about it.

Poor Rory who is all alone in this world.

Speaking of Rory, where is she? Will she ever come back?

Let’s get back to the rest of the episode.

Hayley wakes up and is surprised to see half of bed still perfectly made, meaning someone who is supposed to unmake it hasn’t.

Hayley and Elijah are obviously sharing a bed, to no one’s surprise.

I find myself to be quite fond of these little domestic details.

Klaus’ indulging Hope’s sweet tooth in the most extravagant and Klaus-like way as possible. Don’t we love it? Of course we love it *imitating Nathan Lane’s voice*. Every second of it.

One of my favorite frame is Klaus’s feeding his daughter a beignet.

Hope’s indeed a princess. Her parents were king and queen and her brother is now a self-proclaimed king of New Orleans.

Aw, Freya’s making Keelin breakfast. Didn’t know Freya could cook anything other than magic concoctions.

Fluffiness doesn’t last long because crazy-ass bitch Hollow has to ruin everything for everyone.

Wow, Vincent. He can’t seriously ask the Mikaelsons to give up on one of their own, can he? He said it himself in the second season: “When push comes to shove, always trust a Mikaelson to back another Mikaelson.”

I hope Vincent doesn’t let his bias cloud his judgment. He hates Elijah and has been reminding viewers of it for episode after episode, that much we know. What I wonder is whether he unconsciously allows his hatred to invade his decision making process because if it were someone else other than Elijah or a Mikaelson, he probably would try harder to find a way other than sacrifice. Does he realize that what he does, asking the Mikaelsons to give up Elijah’s life, is pretty similar to what Elijah and Freya’s did to Davina five years ago? Sacrificing one life to save others?

The sheer amount of Klelijah in this episode alone is enough to kill a Klelijah shipper’s heart with a heart attack ten times over, from Klaus’s offering to literally die for Elijah, Elijah’s asking for Klaus first thing when he sees Freya, to Klaus’s rage, denial and breakdown as he shouts at Freya. He had witnessed his brothers’ deaths before but not once had he broken down. He was indifferent the first time Finn died and sad the second; he was furious the first time Kol died and sad the second but he wasn’t in denial like this. It’s because of all brothers Elijah’s the most important to Klaus. “The monster in me can only be checked by the monster in you” and “Without you by my side I don’t think I can survive my own love for my daughter”.

Now I’ve seen some complaints about Hayley’s reaction when Elijah dies, mostly that she doesn’t express strong outbursts of emotions like she did when Jackson perished even though Elijah is her true love. I’d say the reason she hasn’t burst into tears or screamed is because she, like Klaus, is in denial. Jackson was mortal and the moment she saw Tristan’s hand going into Jackson’s chest, things were over; there was no way to save Jackson. But it’s different with Elijah in a way that Elijah could be save and Hayley was counting much on Freya’s power to wrench his soul from true death. The single tear she sheds later as realization begins to dawn on her that Elijah might be gone speaks much more of her pain than screaming or crying out loud ever could. That, in my opinion, is praise-worthy and it proves Phoebe’s acting skill has improved by each season.

In fact, Klaus’s, Hayley’s and Freya’s expressions in this scene are all beautifully acted and very heart-wrenching to watch.

Once again, Hope’s saving the day when she helps confirm Elijah’s soul is in the broken pendant. I’m crossing my fingers for Hope to kick the Hollow’s ass in the season finale.

One thing I forgot to mention in the last entry: Vincent said the Ancestors’ spell to trap the Hollow requires the life of an immortal, and a true immortal like an Original or Marcel, not a normal vampire. Then, who was that immortal that was sacrificed when the Ancestors first trapped the Hollow?

Vincent’s venturing into the dark side.

Hollow bitch is flesh and blood again. That means she can be killed now, right?

Last but not least, one mention of a certain brave blond bartender has Klaus going from bitterly sarcastic to speechless. Has ‘Miss Mystic Falls’ ever managed to do that? Nope.

Yeah, Cami would have been proud of him but incredibly sad.

Looking forward to Kol and Bekah’s return and their reaction to Elijah’s death.

[Rant] Queens Death – The Originals 4×09 Warnings: spoilers, subjective opinions, careless language, messing up the order of events In the last rant, I predicted that Sofya was likely to be killed while Elijah would survive the ordeal, y’know, thinking like a conventional viewer.