#idky whenever I feel like im out at sea they're the onoy thing i can think of to save me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clowncloud · 11 days ago

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i miss them strong sudden wave of i miss them i miss them so much fuck ive been watching their photo too often they're so pretty but also it's so obvious we're miles away in every aspect im glad at least i attempted to right the nasty 2021 "separation" im disappointed in how 2022-2023 reunion went im disappointed in what i did. im glad i was only weak like once in 2024. i dont intend to fuck up this year ive been thinking off them too much i need to stop ugh sigh

#like ik why #but im pretty sure this time arnd im really too busy n itherwise occupied to cave #I'll be strong #like god i hate it #idky whenever I feel like im out at sea they're the onoy thing i can think of to save me #it's so stupid it can be anyone else #but no so many years after n it's still them #when will it no longer be them #i dont want anyone but them n it's frustrating n sickening #like im over it ive accepted it #i dont even think it's feasible or wld work out #but still tht part of me just idek #i hv a them shaped hole in my life n thts tht #n the sucky thing is ide think they fit there anymore #i dont think i want a past version of them #but i guess i do #idk what it is #n myb there's someone else who cld fill it #but trying to find someone else isnt appealing #the idea is scary bc i wsnt even looking for them in the first place #god i feel like I'll always be a little bit crazy abt this #sadge #ahahahah #im nit crying u are #cloud nonsense

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