#idkkkkkkkkk. I just don't like it

[girlscience]

been drawing more and I get so frustrated, not with my skill level, but with my style. it's such a mishmash of so many things and it doesn't go well together at all and it makes everything look wonkier than I think anything else. My anatomy and posing and line weight and coloring and everything is not super high quality, but has significantly improved over the past couple years (imo at least and that's all that matters lol) and I know it will continue to improve the more I draw and practice!! but I have seen zero change in my style. It's this super unfortunate middle ground between realistic and anime and kind of cartoony and it doesn't work at all. And I cannot figure out how to change it

[wildpeachfarm]

Honestly Brittany pretty much already covered this idea in her 2nd video about George and Caiti from 1:29:00 to 1:33:00, even explaining that realistically they could have gone as far as having sex that night and it still could have been a situation where it was consensual, but none of that even happened.

I feel for Caiti I really do, I understand getting in over your head but as someone who has had my own handful of uncomfortable encounters out clubbing or bar hopping AND being taken advantage of when I was so drunk I couldn't walk by someone who was practically sober I'm so over this situation.

In a lot of these environments so many consent check ins are based on non verbal reciprocation. If im dancing with a guy and we go from dancing apart - to he puts a hand on my waist - I put a hand on his shoulder - eventually he grabs my hips to pull me closer and I respond by resting my arms behind his neck this is all reciprocation. I also know that usually after that point is when guys really like to start getting more touchy and in my experience they would move way faster vs what apparently happened over the course of at least one hour cuddling on a couch.

But that was something I learned after my first time dancing with a guy and realizing oh actually I really don't like having a stranger practically grind on me, even if all the stuff leading up to it was kinda fun, but I wouldn't??? Call that assault when I can see the steps of progression we both were okay with up to that point?

Idkkkkkkkkk this whole situations been shit and triggering as fucking hell seeing words I used regarding my assault being used interchangibly about two people getting to second base but that's just me

.

[soaps-mohawk]

JUST REED THE CHAPTER AND ITS AMAZING!

Though I now got two questions…

1. What would happen if we say Price is in rut and obviously is helping the omega, but like a enormous emergency comes up and like it’s just HIM like Simon can’t jump in on the mission it was to be him and it’s an emergency… like what would happen, is that even possible? To like just stop a rut?

2. KNOTTING- okay idk i think im confused… knotting, can it only appear when the alpha is in rut? Because like when not in rut they don’t knot? Or is it like they can if they want or idkkkkkkkkk i need answer pls 💀😭

Aww thank you!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!!!

Now for the questions...

1. He would not be able to help. He would not even care in the moment. If you tried to get him away from the reader, he would get violent. I don't even think a missile heading right towards base would stop him once he's in there. That's why, when he's available, Simon kind of takes over as defacto leader of the 141. If Simon and Johnny were gone, then Kyle technically could leave, since Price would keep both him and the reader alive and well during her heat, though coming out of it would be rough. But yeah, he wouldn't care. There would be no convincing him he should.

2. Yes. Alphas can only knot when they're in a rut around an omega in heat. They can't knot just having normal, non-heat sex.

[scalamore]

Ch 96 - Random thoughts and impressions (small spoilers)

Fangirl time

I LOVE how Lari is the one who's a blushing mess during the horse ride home. Usually the ML is flustered because of the FL's boob squish, but Lari is as affected by it. She's completely paralyzed because all her senses is focused on his solid, muscular chest HAHAHA. Surprisingly, Rupert isn't blushy or awkward about hit, he's ok with it. BUT I BET IF THE POSTIONS WERE REVERSED HE MIGHT BE REALLY BLUSHING?? haha

On a random note, I wish we got more Lari cleavage. Apparently KKP doesn't allow too much since this is the all-ages version. I think it's nice Lari has a nice chest, makes her extra soft and fluffy :3

Yup, Lari is not getting the think that Rupert likes her romantically. She's still thinking about TL1 and how he married Tory. She's not quite sure if RupeTory have a romantic inclination, but at least confirms he has no active plans of marrying Tory or anyone else right now. Interesting I WONDER WHY THAT IS LARI.

OK tory is just ridiculously creepy, just using Lari's balcony as an entrance/exit , staring at her when she's asleep and then moving on. Lari's a pretty light sleeper so she knows this has been going on. CREEPY.

THERE IS BOUND TO BE SOME COMMENTER who sees that in this time skip things are boring ("that's it"?), that Lari fixed her initial problem already and she's just idling time away passively. I will try my best to ignore the haters and not spoil HOW this is the calm before the storm... this calmness is what made it extra painful later when plot hits.

IDK what to make of the manhwa saying she's 17 soon. Is it an error? instead of a 6 month time skip, is it now 1 year and 6 months??? IDKKKKKKKKK (see my prior post)

ANYWAYS. LARI LOOKS EXTRA ELEGANT AT THE SECOND HALF OF THE CHAPTER. She's winding down for the night, drinking tea, and she looks extra mature and pretty to me. The S3 cover makes it seem she doesn't get a haircut/permanent hair style change, so maybe this is her casual hair on a cold winter day?? I also don't know what to think about this.

I like Elaine, she's cool

YES, THE DETAIL WHERE RUPERT GRABS HER HANDS AAAA I hope we get the internal monologue about that it's v cute to read

OMG THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE AMAZING. You can see the moment the light is extinguished from his eyes in those cuts. There's a subtle texture oh his cheeks/nose/hands - showing he's been out wandering out in the snow for who knows how long before he arrived at Lari's balcony.

I call it a balcony, but it's on the 1st floor. I don't know a better word for it.

HAHAH so he does flop on her bed in the novel, but it just hits differently to see him just getting nicely tucked into 'Lari's bed by Lari herself. She actually tries to kick up out with the comment of needing a bath in the novel lol. DOMESTIC LARI IM OK WITH TOO

OMG RUPERT LOOKS SO EMPTY AND DEAD INSIDE. POOR GUY IS JUST LOST AND BROKEN RN while Lari is trying to get him to open up and talk about what's wrong

LARI UR SHOCKED FACE IS JUST SO CUTE I LOVE YOU

So technically Rupert's red eyes aren't because he's been crying, but rather, they're red/baggy because of the shock/realization he has nothing left. he's completely empty, the emperor is dead, he killed him himself, yet EMPTY. NOTHING. IS HE HAPPY? no. IS HE SAD? No. EMMMPPPPTTTYYYYY

PLEASE MANHWA TEAM, GIVE US A GOOD CHAPTER 97 WITH LOTS OF EXPOSITION OF WHAT HAPPENED TO RUPERT AAAAAAA

[rahleeyah]

heyyyyyyyy d.c. anon here. Just wanted to say that I appreciate you sm. Like seriously. You take the time to listen and answer not only me but so many others with a rationality that is often needed. With that being said…

I wanted to give myself a couple days before asking anything bc I honestly didn’t know how I felt. I know I needed to give myself time to calm down from how I felt in the moment. I was absolutely heartbroken and gutted with what we got vs what was promo’d.

I feel like I went through the stages of grief lol. Eventually landing on acceptance that maybe that scene was possibly an ending and not a beginning? I can’t shake that feeling. I hope that I’m wrong. Genuinely. What do you think? Any reality where that might be where we’re headed?

But I can’t help but feel that having her say that she wasn’t ready three times and ending the scene with them apart feels like a sign? It would give both shows an out to move on? ::le sigh:: Idkkkkkkkkk lol.

Small disclaimer: I am still in my feels a little and I know that. So my negative thoughts are being fully acknowledged here. as well, I know everything that m has said and everything coming from the sr’s before the season started leans to the positive.

But I just can’t help but feel betrayed and strung along. To have invested decades to just be bamboozled feels… I can’t think of a word atm. I used to watch this show with my grandma on sick days when I was 12. I now have a toddler running around.

another disclaimer: there were positive things in the scene and I am also acknowledging that. I could go in forever but will spare you hahaha. The whole situation just makes me feel blah.

I understand why you feel like this and I appreciate you coming here and being honest (and self-aware!). it's been a few days since you sent this and I hope you're feeling better now. I don't share that particular feeling; I don't think they're ever gonna actually walk away from eo. whether we actually get to see them canon before the final episode of svu I also can't say, but they're not gonna close the door while the possibility is raking in the viewers. whatever it is, however long they intend to string us along, I don't think this was an actual ending. that would be a shitty business move lmao

it feels like tptb decided to step in an stretch it all out a little, but what we saw of the dialogue that was edited out doesn't really put eo in a better spot than where the episode left them. it looks like it was never the intent for this moment to be a real coming together, and we are where we would have been even if we'd gotten the material from the promos; eo were physically close and Elliot is sure but liv's not ready. the hug would've smoothed things out a little, would have been a more hopeful note to end on, but it doesn't really change that liv's not ready.

which makes sense. it hasn't been that long, really, since Elliot came back, and his wife is dead, and for so much of that time eo haven't been communicating at all, and yes the show has been going on for 24 years but it wasn't until Kathy died that eo was ever even possible, and even then it wasn't possible while Elliot was processing, and then undercover. they haven't really been flirting around the edges of this for 24 years; they spent 12 years telling themselves it was never gonna happen and ten years thinking they were never gonna see each other again and for the last two years there's only been a few months when el's head was clear and they seemed possible. this is, despite out impatience, still incredibly new for them.

so have hope, is what I'm saying. maybe not hope that we'll see them kiss before we all retire, but hope that this is not the end.

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

iiiii kind of want to finish my math major. i kind of want to get a double major in math and psychology. it would be an extra year which is an issue bc my grandfather pays for my school and he says he will not pay after next semester so i'd have to get 20k from somewhere but. other than that lol. although if he's not paying for it i could move off campus and that might be a little cheaper. and it's only like 15 or 16 credits a semester (two 15 one 16) and it's like 10 math classes broken up by the 5 psych/wmst classes i havent finished. and it would solve the wmst class not being offered problem and the i don't want to graduate and i wish i got four years problem lol. i could also theoretically finish a masters in math in that time but that sounds scarier lol

i just like have to make a final decision before i register for classes for next semester bc if i decide to do this i won't be able to graduate bc i spread out my psych classes and if i decided not to and took everything i needed to graduate and then changed my mind id have Only math classes left and it would be a year of like 4 or 5 math classes a semester and nothing else. in which case i should just do the masters bc that's what that is lol. idkkkkkkkkk idk what to do what if i change it and i get rly overwhelmed and it sucks and i feel terrible all the time like i did when i was a math major before but also maybe it'll be better now that i know other people in the math department and i know i don't have to do this forever like my life doesn't have to be Just Math and i know it's only 3 semesters. i did a math major for 3 semesters already it can't be that bad i guess. would be kind of funny lol i was a math major for 3 semesters took a break for 2 semesters to be a psychology major and then went back to being a math major for 3 semesters 😭😭. really should have double majored that would have been WAY better but i can't do anything abt that now i guess.

i just feel like i really miss doing math and my classes rn are like. not stimulating enough and i want to Think abt things and do little problems and proofs and shit. like im taking a math class next semester either way like. idk. maybe ill like do some upper level math or calc iii or something for fun and see how that goes lol (could definitely do with a review of some of the stuff i took lmao). or maybe this is fucking insane and i should just graduate and stop trying to do 500 extra things 😭😭

[one-strugling-bean]

I Finished the 1st disc of Homestuck!!!

Wohoooo, aleluiaaaaa

Points of note thus far:

Im surprised to realize that I think I can more or less comprehend what's going on

Dave and Rose have such sibling energy its ridiculous. I kinda wanna do an analysis on them, but dunno if i have the patience (that vent about Vriska reeeeeally tired me out)

Jade is such a sweetheart but she's a little far away from the rest of the plot i feel. Im gussing she'll get more involved in it during act 6

Out of the trolls, Tavros is still my favorite, and he deserved better than getting killed, decapitated, and smooched on post mortem (assuming I am correct in assuming Gamzee was kissing Tavros' head when he was texting Dave about Lil Cal)

Also, is it canon that Gamzee liked Tavros?? As in, being flushed for him. Because it's never stated explicitly, but it seemed pretty hinted at. Makes me wonder what would've happened if he was still chill(?) when Vriska killed Tavros - how he would've reacted.

The murder of the trolls confused me so freaking much. I'm still not sure how serious i should take those deaths. Are they gonna come back?? No?? Idkkkkkkkkk, and it's ennerving me so muuuuuuch

Ah btw - i still don't know what is the deal with that freaking puppet, but he creeps me out. So much.

Extra point just to mention: Kanaya is such a badass, my god. When she came back from the dead as a vampire just to kill Eridan and throw off Gamzee i knew she was the one. Never been prouder of my sign B>

Terezi surprised me in how much I grew to like her in this 2nd half of Act 5.she really grew on me. From her stupid chats with Dave, to everything about her rivalry with Vriska - she's amazing!

The cold blooded deaths of the guardians (Mom, dad, bro) surprised me so much. Though ig not being able to reunite with their kids before dying had to happen. Just to sprinkle that exyra little angst

Rose is such an anime character, i cant even explain why exactly, just *widly jesticulates at her*- John is too, tho. So is Dave and maaaaaybe Jade. But like, they would each belong in different anime, ya know?

Karkat is so harmless, man. Like, he just is. He starts yelling and saying he'll throw me out the window and i just giggle and pat him on the head. That kind of harmless. I think im starting to understand why everyone loves him so much, but I still prefer other trolls

Ik im still missing the other set of kids, which will appear now (Beta kids, i think) and im curious to see how that'll play out

Welp.

Now I just gotta get through the monstrosity that is act 6 :')))

Wish me luck

[domingoisfake]

Almost kms today, idk why, I didn't had a reason, I don't feel depressed anymore

It was kind of a Russian roulette game, just survived cuz the razor wasn't sharp enough.

That's what scares me the most, I was in classroom, in the middle of class while doing homework with my friends. I was so happy, still I wished to die so badly.

Idk what's wrong with me, it actually disgusts me how edgy I've been these last two years

I've been called out to a psychiatrists two times by now, but nah, I don't wanna do it.

I do think life is beautiful, I apressiate life like yall can't even imagine; nature, jokes, food, clothes, animals, plants, flowers, the sky I'm so afraid of, the sea I'm terrified, they're all so beautiful and pressious. Why do I keep pursuing death?

Like, I originally thought it was an evasion problem (it prolly is, can't truly tell when I'm just a teenager falling secundaria) but I don't even think it's that anymore, it's just straight up apathy to everything. My grades, relationships, family, pets, my drawings and art creations, my own physical appearance isn't even thaaaaat important anymore.

Tbh I don't feel comfortable talking about this with anyone, idk why I go and say it straight up to a bunch of ppl I'll never see (again, I'm just a silly little Mexican teenager listening to Oingo Boingo)

I hate not truly caring about how I feel, and i can't start about how much I hate being such a little edgy scumbag, but idkkkkkkkkk, if I keep denying my feelings I'll be even more annoying than I am already

I just tried to kill myself in front of a multitude, didn't even cared that it didn't worked out, being alive or dead it's like urrghhhhhh. I really need a psychiatrist, but it scared me.

This ain't that "Comfort in hurt" thing (I believe) idk what it is

Guuuuuuuughhhg

I really like cows

[archive940901]

this is so silly but like someone posts otherwise p good things but yr kinda like "i can't follow u anymore on account of the anime girls.....sorry"

[d1anna]

hummmmmmmmmmmmmm

[poguniversity]

god i just straight up don’t wanna do this freelance gig anymore but looking for another job is like...ugh

[burn-like-starss]

Ashieee!!!

Can I call u that?

But back to the topic, which moot do u ship me with, like accept @marauders-lupin, cuz I'm curious

And don't worry Lina I love you with all my heart 💓💓

I'm just curious cuz whoo might be that person who intereacts withe and has some kinda chemistry.. .....

Yes ofc I loveeee it!!

Uhhhh idk

Me ;)

Maybe @untowardflower orrrrr @justadreamyhufflepuff but idkkkkkkkkk

[ghosty-goos-asks]

(You mentioned before you may be up for more than just hands with dominic. Like, using your mouth. Again, ONLY if you're comfortable with it tonight. If not, don't do that and focus on the stuff you are comfy with. )

(jsdkflahgfdgjdkg i miiiight be able to idkkkkkkkkk jfsdaklghadjhklfgd it might fun ajsldfksahgfjjjafhg - 😈👻)

[belzinone]

// alright so i can't squeeze out the last couple asks....... anyone want me to reblog starters anyways?