#idk. we'll see. I have to make it home from grandma's first

[malachitezmeyka]

Last thing I expected to do today was spend 10 minutes arguing with my grandma over a cat that's been dead for nearly a decade and yet here we are

[secretmiracledreamland]

Having some difficult emotions this morning. i don't really now where it came from but all of a sudden i'm just really sad. I feel so alone lately and idk how to mitigate that. I don't know how to make friends, and i... i don't really have family anymore. Obviously my mother is out of the picture and while that hurts I know its for the best. But the others... i don't remember the last time someone called to check on me. or even just chat, they don't have to be checking on me. but it's my responsibility to initiate the phone call every time. I've had this gripe for YEARS with both sides of my family. If I don't reach out, I will straight up never hear from them. Prime example, my aunt messaged me yesterday asking if i was okay (shocking, but this only happened because i haven't called them in a while). I answered her honestly. I told her i've been very depressed. i told her i've been sick for months. i told her work has me wanting to unalive myself.

she left me on read.

the last time my grandmother bothered to call me it was to tell me my cousin had lost her battle with cancer. she then proceeded to spend the rest of the phone call complaining about her life and bitching about my other cousin needing to stay with her. This was also very hard to hear because i used to overhear her having these exact same conversations when i lived with her. Z has had a hard life, dude. The last thing he needs is to hear his only family shittalking him to his random cousin that he hardly knows.

and my dad? he tried for a little bit. After i went no contact with my mother (she initiated this btw), he started texting me more than he has ever texted me (for context, i spoke to him only a handful of times when I lived in AZ ACROSS THE COUNTRY at 18. lived there for 5 years. never reached out to me first). but now? he's not bothering. I tried texting him the other day and got the bare minimum of responses.

I know he's going through a lot as well but i'm literally his child and he literally let me be abused by his wife for 18+ years. you'd think he's at least make some kind of effort.

Al's grandma (who just got her hip replaced) is driving down with his aunt 6+ hours to come see us. His dad and brother are coming as well. 4 of his family members are coming this weekend and this is the second trip this year that his dad has made. his 93 year old grandmother who is less than a year removed from a broken hip is about to sit in a car for 6 hours to come hang out with us for 2 days. Because they love him and that's what family does. we've gone up north so many times over the past 4 years we've been down here and not a single one of my family members (aside from my brother) has shown any interest in coming to visit. I bring it up and I get "maybe one day." would also like to add that my brother only came because i called him and told him i was buying him a train ticket. so even then, would not have happened at all if i didn't do it.

meanwhile, Al told his family we can't afford to travel up north for the holidays this year and they simply said "Okay, we'll come to you".

it just really hurts, you know? I feel so lucky that his family is active in our lives because mine just... isn't. none of them are. i was raised my whole life that family is everything and you have nothing if you don't have family and you have to be there for your family and help them when you can.... blah blah fucking blah. but then y'all turn around and turn your backs to family once they no longer are there to serve you.

you want to know why i'm my grandmother and aunt's favorite? because of all of the effort i have put into that relationship for my whole gods damned life. even back when i was a literal CHIILD. i would call my grandmother weekly. I would call her house when i knew her and grandpa were on the way home from vermont so i could leave her a voicemail telling her i love her and couldnt wait to talk to her. then i'd call again when she was home so we could talk.

honestly, in hindsight... i don't think they ever really cared all that much. obviously they cared, but not in the ways that matter. they cared in that i'm their child/grandchild/niece, but that's fucking it.

i fell and wrecked my knee one week before we were due to move to our current place. i had to pack the entirety of our area (Minus the kitchen because i couldn't get upstairs) while on crutches and actively in pain. i had to move into this basement apartment ON CRUTCHES. i had to manage to take care of myself BY MYSELF while Al was at work, in this new apartment. on crutches. i had to unpack this entire apartment bY MYSELF ON CRUTCHES IN PAIN. so fucking alone. no one ever offered to come help.

but my aunt needs a tiny robot surgery (cant think of the name) on her knee, is able to walk out, lives in a one story home with her mother who has cared for her her entire life, and i'm expected to drop it all and go 7+ hours up north to take care of her. I tell her i'm out of PTO - "you have weekends off, don't you?"

shows me just how much you care.

fuck all of them.

[girltomboy]

Saturday diary

Today has been interesting because even though I woke up earlier than I was expecting, and I basically did my everyday morning routine except I finally managed to pull myself out of my slump and do yoga (which felt amazing), I still feel like the day flew by too fast. In the sense that it's almost 6pm but it feels like it should be around 3. But I feel good about the stuff I managed to complete this morning and yesterday evening. It's not much, just mundane stuff like doing laundry or buying essential groceries/home items, and prioritizing my routine over idk other activities. But it still makes me feel satisfied. I phoned my grandma and we talked for hours again, she told me about our dog and our neighbors, the food she's been cooking, pickle recipes, and how my mom used to be fluent in Russian. I just love talking to her on the phone for hours until we both get tired, I really keep all of our phone conversations like little charms in my memory. Thanks to her I remembered a dream I had last week, about my aunt, that I had forgotten and couldn't write down in my dream diary. I've been thinking about going to visit her and spend maybe a week or so there, like I did last year. But last year my stay was a bit scuffed because of my ID replacement and the construction workers. This year I'm all set ID-wise, the house exterior is completely done and beautiful, and I could both work there and enjoy my stay. But I think my mom would want to see me soon, since I promised I'd visit soon, and she hasn't seen me in almost a year. Idk I'm conflicted, my grandma advised me to visit mom first, but my parents are still working on their new house, and I don't want to pop by at a stressful time. Plus I don't want to use up all of my paid leave for this year. But anyway, that's something to ponder but not dwell too much on, because it's already mid-September, and regardless of the destination I choose I don't want the cold fall weather to catch up to me. One of our friends is already in the process of moving to another city. It was such an impulsive decision, his workplace transferred him to that city, he might already have a roommate, and so all that's left for him is to adapt his life to a new environment. Crazy stuff, but good for him, and I'm gonna miss him. We got news today that a mutual friend of our group took his own life this morning at 4, and we've just been quiet and crushed. My friend who grew up with him was devastated. I actually met the guy through him when they were living together, right before the pandemic. And then he got a job at a local pub, and we went there last year, when my friend moved here. He seemed really good at his job, and serious about it. I didn't ever get to know him much, and I just can't stop wondering why he felt like his life had run its course. He was on a college trip, as far as I understood, as an archeology student. He even posted pics from the trip. And then they found him lifeless this morning. I froze in place when my bf texted me, and we had a discord call and everyone was speechless. Couldn't stop thinking what it must feel like to hear this about your childhood friend, who you were in contact with, hung out with not long ago, and everything. My friend sounded like he'd been crying quietly, and he had no words to talk. It feels like there's this hole now that needs to be filled, but we can't, there's nothing for anyone to fill it with. Like, his name and the memory of him just feels tender like after an electric shock, and I barely ever saw the guy. I can only imagine how heavy and crushing it must feel for those who knew him closely and loved him. And I hope we'll be able to help our friend manage his grief.

Meanwhile, we've lived another Saturday, and I've been thinking about going for a long walk, but there's rain on the horizon. Still, I feel the need to explore the city and people-watch. Yesterday evening the walk in the rain to the grocery store as it got dark put me in such a good mood.

[luckyqueenreign]

Hello dear!

Here comes the rant😆

What a heck I just read? FB for sure made some strange choices.

First of all - why we should twist with new boys? Mc should be sent home - like there literally was a text "if you single - you'd be dumped". Our theory about Finn and Kat twisting if MC single had much more sense!

Secondly. Suresh, dude, are you for real? Still playing games instead of showing everyone were you stand. And Lulu seems really sweet, how dare he to use her like that? I mean it was obvious she's his safe choice to stay but FB making him such an asshole? Why he didn't tell her "I can bring you but that'll be friendship couple cuz I only want MC"? For someone who's talking"i care about you, MC" he's definitely makes her life much more complicated!

Gabi. I tried to be civil, all right? Why she suddenly thinks she has to show how important she was for Suresh? He's literally told you "it wasn't anything serious for me" and your answer "I think it's a lie"?? Piss off, woman! You've been a rebound, a replacement of a real girlfriend. And your wants won't change the reality.

Alfie. Dude, why are you still trying talk to MC when she made it clear that you are friends, nothing more?? My MC even told you to couple up with Meera and was ready to go home. And now you bringing Meera back and all she's doing - making a show "we're such a power couple" and glaring at MC even though my MC has been telling "you are great together!" Arlo #2 much?? And now I read that she wants to dump MC?? Not cool. MC isn't to blame if you not confident enough in your couple, stop being a bitch!

My poor MC doesn't have any girlfriends on this circus! Please Lulu, you are the last hope for a true friendship!

Finn. Weeell. You giving me Noah vibes with your uncertainty. I have a feeling he fancies MC more then Kat but Kat is an easy option, you know? it's like under all his flirting and bravado he's not confident enough in himself to be with someone so gorgeous and cool like MC. I mean - dude literally said "you are out of my league" to MC...🤔 But maybe it's wishful thinking 😃

And Nicolas... OMG, he's just male version of Kat! I knew there was something about him and playing the game but damn! My girl had enough drama in her life and doesn't need more. I don't fancy men who loves stirring the pot... Now I have even more doubts about him. I don't see him in solid couple with a girl if she's serious and not in all this drama/playing games. But he's definitely a good option make Suresh jealous 😆

Welp... At this point I don't even mind taking money and never seeing those people again 😆 but we'll see new islanders. Maybe FB will give us a dependable guy (maybe an old friend of MC who's always been in love with her and hated Suresh for hurting his favourite girl??)

First - YES!! This made NO SENSE the text said single islanders would be DUMPED and then wait NOT U MC! ur special! No we're not! U literally drag us through the mug every fucking episode

Second- babe thats not suresh...idk who that is but its not him. because the man that said all that stuff to us before he left for casa wouldnt be choosing grandma Lulu who he literally has no spark with over us.

Third - Gabi doesnt seem to understand that one sided relationships exist. One person can like another person more than the other. Sorry babe but this happens more often than not...just because he was around doesnt mean he was around.

Fourth - I personally didnt get the vibe that he was trying it on MC I got more friend vibes from him, but maybe that's how I played it. Meera was being such a bitch that I can't wait for me to not go home next week, but to rub it in her face that her bestie is tho

Fifth - I low-key loved Noah 2.0 and If I find out something shady happened between Gabi/Suresh on that terrace rooftop im jumping ship to Finn so fucking fast.

sixth - idk im getting the ick from Nicolas 🫣 hes too much with the gossip and drama he seems more into that than MC. and saying he needed to fake their connection 🙄 thats a no for me dog.

im staying on the suresh route until it becomes even more obvious that there is none left and then will be jumping ship to Finn.

[justtessasworld]

connected | kai parker

Guess who's back?? Btw I'm sorry for the format, Tumblr doesn't allow me to make paragraphs anymore?? Idk why but everytime I post it with paragraphs they're suddenly gone 🤷‍♀️

~

In which y/n sees Kai in her dreams.

~

“That was a good one!”, y/n laughed.

The young woman was sitting at the table in the kitchen of some house somewhere in Virginia. At least Kai said so.

Said man was sitting in front of her, they were playing some game but he had interrupted it by his corny jokes.

“So what are you up to today?”, y/n asked after her laughter had quieted down.

“Hm, we'll see”, Kai stated, pouring himself a glass of water. “Probably going to watch some TV, steal something from the store down the street. The usual for living alone in a world.”

Y/n sighed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “I wish I could be there for you. Be here.” She looked around the room, around this small piece of Kai's prison world she was in.

“Oh, don't you worry! I'm just going to wait till you go to sleep again.”

Y/n chuckled dryly, scratching her fingernail over the table.

“Yes, I know, but I just-”, she stopped abruptly.

Y/n felt the strange pull in her stomach, that weird feeling she still hasn't fully become comfortable with after all these years.

“Is it already time?”, Kai asked, standing up and swiftly walking towards the woman.

Y/n nodded, gripping his arms as her legs grew weak. “I frigging hate this feeling.”

Kai chuckled, holding her waist with one hand.

“See you tomorrow”, he said, gently caressing her cheek with his free hand.

Y/n felt her face grow hot, he was so close to her and he smelled so good and-

“See you tomorrow”, she whispered and then she was gone. Disappearing into thin air.

Y/n groaned annoyed as she stopped the ringing of her alarm. 7 am.

Kicking away her blanket, the young woman pulled the ring on her necklace to the front.

It always fell to the back when she was sleeping.

Turning the ring around in her hand, y/n thought of Kai.

The ring had been his once. All those years ago before he was put into this prison world.

Y/n's grandma had found it in the woods in Portland, where Kai had lost it in the night of his imprisonment.

The ring was her gift from her grandmother at her 14th birthday. And also the reason for her dreams. Or whatever they were. They started a few days after her birthday and just never stopped. At first y/n was scared out of her mind of this strange young man in her dreams, living completely alone in the world and being so incredibly rude too. But after some troubles they really got to know each other and y/n Kai became friends, somehow.

She thought she was crazy when she was younger and she still did, sometimes. But she just couldn't believe that her mind could make up such a realistic person. Y/n never told anyone about her dreams though. Not her family nor her friends, she knew better than to try it, she had watched supernatural movies after all.

Letting the necklace go she stood up, making herself ready for work.

“Elena! How are you?”, y/n exclaimed as she saw the Gilbert sitting in the Grill.

Y/n worked there in the summer to pay off her student loans, just as a few other of her friends.

“I'm fine”, Elena snapped. Wowie, y/n thought, someone was in a bad mood right now.

Elena's gaze softened and she turned to the other young woman. “I'm sorry, y/n. It's just-”

“It's just that Damon and Bonnie are still gone?”, y/n interrupted, she might not be one of Elena's best friends but they got along more than good and so y/n knew about the absence of Elena's boyfriend and her best friend. Even though y/n didn't exactly knew everything.

“Well, Damon's back”, Elena stated. “I'm actually meeting with him here, but Bonnie's still… away.”

The way Elena's said ‘away’ made y/n frown. Bonnie wasn't missing, was she? No, if she really was missing, y/n would know. All of Mystic Falls would know.

“Well I hope she comes home soon”, y/n said, smiling brightly and said goodbye.

On her way to the bar she saw Damon and waved, a small grin forming on his normally frowning face.

After a long day at the Grill and with her friends and studies, y/n was more than happy to change out of her clothes and fall on her bed. Looking at her clock, she saw that it was already 10 pm.

Snuggling into her blankets she clutched her fingers around Kai's ring and fell asleep.

There was the feeling of falling and then suddenly she stood in the same house as last night, the sunlight bathing the dark room in bronze colors.

Turning around, y/n couldn't spot Kai. Hm, normally she would just appear in the same room as him, where was he?

“Kai?”, she shouted, walking into the hall. No answer.

“Malachai? Where are you?”, still no answer.

Without a warning the front door opened, nearly knocking y/n off her feet.

“Hey!”, she cried out taken aback, stepping back a few steps.

“Y/n? What are you already doing here?”, Kai snapped, glancing behind him. What the hell?

“Wow, Kai. I'm happy to see you too”, y/n snarled, putting her hand on her hip and looking at him suspiciously.

“You can't be here right now”, Kai growled, slamming his hand against his head.

Y/n flinched, grabbing his hand and hiding them tightly.

Kai always had the habit of punching his head and everything when something was with her, as if that would make y/n disappear. Because even though they knew each other for years now, Kai still thought that she was just a hallucination, a way of making him feel better in this lonely hell.

“Hey, Kai. Kai!”, she shouted, catching his attention. “You know I hate it when you do that”, she said quietly, her eyes sad. It hurt her so much, when she saw him in pain.

“Kai? Who are you talking too?”, a feminine voice said, standing behind the door. Before y/n could react the woman walked into the hall, looking at Kai and then at her.

Y/n knew the woman. It was-

“Bonnie?”

“Y/n?!“

Gasping y/n sat up in her bed. Fuck, her head hurt. In all these years of having these dreams she never had left them this abruptly, being more like pushed out of them than slowly pulled out.

What the hell happened?

She saw Bonnie and then she suddenly woke up. Oh God, Bonnie! Her shirt had been full of blood and she'd looked like hell. And most importantly she had been in Kai's prison world. Kai had told her that he was there because of murdering his family (with which y/n was still not comfortable with), so what had Bonnie done to get imprisoned there?

Or was she accidentally there?

Glancing at her clock, y/n saw that it was only midnight yet. Not too late to hit up Elena.

Standing in front of the massive Salvatore mansion, y/n snuggled more into her warm jacket and ringed the bell.

She had picked up Elena here a few weeks ago, the two of them wanting to go shopping with Caroline.

Now she was waiting for someone to open up, Elena or one of the Salvatores, she didn't care.

The door opened and y/n saw Damon, looking annoyed at her with an open shirt. Apparently y/n interrupted Elena's and Damon's sexy time.

Y/n smiled shyly. “I'm sorry to disturb you, but I have to talk to Elena.”

The vampire looked at her sceptically.

“It's about Bonnie.”

“So you saw her in your dreams?”, Elena asked slowly.

Y/n nodded slightly, maybe it wasn't the best idea, now they probably did think she was mental.

“And in your dreams you are in a prison world with Kai?”

Y/n nodded again.

“How do you know that psycho-boy?”, Damon looked at her closely.

“Psycho-boy? Do you know him?”, y/n asked surprised, turning to him.

“I was in that prison world with him for months. I only escaped alone because your murder-boyfriend shot Bonnie in the stomach!”, the man spat, his face furious.

Y/n gaped at him. “No, he- he wouldn't do that”, the woman whispered, then cringing.

“Well, he did kill his family, so… “, Elena mumbled and y/n frowned. She was right, though.

“How do we get her out of there?”, Damon asked annoyed.

“Well-”, y/n interrupted Elena. “What do you mean ‘her’? We have to get both of them out of there!”

“Oh no, no, no, no, no”, Damon laughed pouring himself a glass of bourbon.

“We won't help that psycho-murderer get out of there!”

“But-”

“No!”

Y/n frowned deeply.

“Well, I don't know how to get anyone out of there”, y/n snapped, “so I'll get going.”

She stood up, taking her coat from the couch.

“You may not know a way but you can help us with the witchy-woo”, Damon said.

Y/n turned around to the two of them. “Witchy-woo?”, she asked.

“Well yeah, or whatever you witches call your magic.”

“Damon, I don't think-”

“You- you think I'm a witch?”, y/n spluttered.

Damon nodded confused. Elena rubbed her temples.

“I'm not a witch!”, y/n laughed hysterically, “We're not in some kind of fairy tale!”

“Y/n, you have to have realized that these dreams aren't normal”, Elena said in a soft voice. “They're pretty common for witches.”

“I mean, of course I know that it's not normal, but I'm not--I'm not a witch.”

Y/n shook her head vehemently. “If I'm a witch, what are you? Vampires?”

Elena and Damon went silent, looking at each other.

“Oh, you've got to be kidding me”, y/n groaned, having to sit down again. “I'm in a damn Twilight fanfiction.”

It had been a week now since y/n found out about the supernatural world. And her probably being a witch. They couldn't confirm it yet, y/n couldn't actually use her ‘magic’ specifically but Elena and Damon and all the other vampires, y/n had met this week (well she did already know them, she just never knew that they weren't human) were sure that was a witch.

God, it felt so weird, saying that. Her, a witch.

There's also been another weird thing. In this whole week y/n had never dreamed of Kai. Not once. Sleeping, actually sleeping and not spending time with Kai, was strange for her.

It was like he didn't want her there, with him. As if he pushed her away.

Y/n awoke, in the middle of the night again, she had slept, like a normal human being but it felt wrong.

She grabbed the ring, thumbing it around.

“Kai, please, let me in”, she whispered, near tears. She couldn't sleep and not being able to dream of him, to be with him with her visions, she didn't just feel like she couldn't relax she felt like she had lost her best friend.

Crying out, y/n pulled off her necklace, throwing it into her room.

She couldn't sleep that night.

A few weeks later, y/n was walking home from the Salvatores, having spend the whole day trying to find a way to use her powers, as she saw a man standing on her front pouch.

“Can I help you?”, she shouted, pulling her keys out of her jacket.

The man turned around and y/n let go of her keys, clanking down to the ground.

That tall frame, dark hair, these dark intense eyes. Malachai Parker.

Y/n gasped, looking at him shocked.

Kai smiled. “Hello, love.”

The young woman cried out, letting her bag fall to the ground and running towards him.

He laughed deeply as she threw her arms around of him, picking her up. Her legs wrapping around his waist.

Kai sighed, burying his face into her hair.

“Why! Why would you keep me out? I was so worried, I thought- I-”, y/n sobbed, clutching his back.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry”, Kai mumbled, squeezing her thigh.

She looked at him, into these deep brown eyes. God, they were shining and so full of emotion. Her smooth hands stroked his jaw, up to his hair, pushing some strands back. He was so handsome and he was here.

“I can't believe you're here”, she whispered, fingernails lightly scratching his neck.

He nodded, his nose nearly touching hers.

Suddenly she was more than aware of their closeness, her legs around his middle, their faces only inches apart, his grip on her thigh.

Y/n breathed shallowly, her gaze flicking to his lips, just as his did the same.

Both of them flinched as the sound of a horn echoed from the street.

Y/n coughed slightly, awkwardly getting off of Kai.

The man grumbled something quietly.

“Let's- let's just go in”, y/n mumbled, picking up her stuff and walking to her apartment, making sure not to meet his eyes.

He was hot on her heels, following her into the small apartment y/n was able to afford.

They had spoken about that exact home once in one of her visions, Kai had never listened that closely. He was happy he did, otherwise he wouldn't have found her.

“Home sweet home”, y/n chuckled, shrugging out of her jacket.

She walked into the kitchen, drinking some water.

Kai appeared in the door frame, leaning against it.

“Love”, he started.

“How are you here? Why are you here? Why didn't I have these dreams the last weeks? You once said you're a witch? Are you a witch? Am I a witch? Elena and Damon said so but-”, y/n rambled.

Kai laughed lowly. “Breathe, y/n, breathe.”

Y/n nodded, sitting down.

“I'm going to explain everything later”, the young man said, walking to where y/n was sitting.

“But firstly I have to get some magic.” Right, y/n thought, she remembered that he was a siphoner and now being in the real world again, he could get magic again.

“Right, of course. I don't know how, though.”

Kai kneeled down in front of her, gently grabbing her wrists.

“Let me try something, that way we also find out if you really are a witch.”

Kai watched her closely. Y/n nodded, she trusted him with her life.

His grip on her wrists tightened and a hot feeling shot through them. It traveled up her arms and spread out until her whole body was hot and prickled.

“Kai”, she moaned, her body growing weak.

He stopped abruptly, letting go of her and nearly falling on the floor, his eyes dark with ecstasy.

“Y/n”, he groaned. “Well now we're sure you're a witch.”

“Why?”, she asked, slumped again the chair.

“Because I just took a bit of your magic and you have more magic than any other witch I've ever known.”

“If you want to stay you can take the bed”, y/n said, putting their dinner in the fridge.

They had spent the entire afternoon with talking, catching up with what happened in the last weeks.

Kai nodded thankfully.

“Elena called, they found Bonnie but they don't know where you are.”

Y/n felt bad for lying to Elena but she didn't want the vampires to do anything to Kai.

"Thank you", the siphoner smiled softly. "And I can take the couch if you don't mind."

"OK", the young woman whispered, turning to her bedroom door. "Goodnight, Malachai."

"Goodnight, love."

Y/n was a light sleeper, so when she started to hear mumbling from the living room she was nearly instantly awake.

"Please- I- father, please", a voice groaned loudly. Kai.

Y/n slowly stood up. He had to have a nightmare. He told her about those years ago. Moments of his childhood when his family would punish him for, well, living.

"Kai?", she called out, standing at the door. The young man was laying on her couch, his tall frame nearly to much for the small couch. He was withering under the thin blanket, hands gripping the sheets, his face sweaty and hair clinging to his forehead.

"Let me go- I'm sorry- please don't- father, please, why-", he muttered, feet kicking away the blanket.

"Kai, hey, Kai!", y/n said loudly, sitting down next to him and touching his chest.

"Kai, wake up, Kai!", she shouted, she couldn't see him like that, it hurt.

Gasping, Kai sat up, his chest heaving and his eyes scanning the room disoriented.

"It's okay, it's okay", y/n mumbled like a mantra, hugging him close.

Kai sobbed lowly, gripping her waist and pulling her even closer.

"Oh God", he groaned quietly, his body calming down slowly.

She let him go after he calmed down mostly, still holding his hands.

"Do you wanna talk about it?", y/n asked, watching him closely.

He shook his head, not meeting her eyes.

"Where-", he cleared his throat, "Where is my ring", he was looking at her neck where his ring would normally hang since she was 14.

"Oh that. I- I'm sorry, I took it off when you didn't let me in anymore. I was so angry and worried.", y/n whispered, squeezing his hand.

"I'm sorry that I did that, I only pushed you out for a few days and after that you never appeared anymore. I was worried sick, myself. Ask Bonnie, I was really grumpy the last weeks", he muttered and y/n laughed quietly.

"It's OK", she said, "And I'm sorry for taking off the necklace."

Kai smiled, squeezing her waist.

She was sitting nearly on top of him and when she realized that, she blushed.

"Oh, shit, sorry", she whispered, making a move to stand up again.

Kai shook his head, pulling her back so that she sat in his lap.

She gasped, grabbing his shoulders. Oh God they were so close.

His arm wrapping around her waist, he pulled her even closer, their chests touching.

Y/n's eyes were wide, her cheeks rosy and her hair falling out of her braid.

Kai smiled softly, his hand touching her neck and cheek.

"God, you're so beautiful", he mumbled leaning towards her and before she knew it their lips touched.

Y/n moaned lowly, her hands gripping his shirt. Angling her head, she kissed back, slipping her tongue between his lips.

Kai's grip around her waist tightened, his hand teasing her braid.

His kiss turned more passionate, her hand clawing at his back, his neck.

"Fuck", Kai gasped as he pulled away, his eyes nearly black.

Y/n nodded shakingly, her lips swollen.

"I've waited so long for this", he chuckled, pecking her lips. Y/n grinned heartily, closing the gap again.

They were finally together.

~

Kai Parker taglist:

@kikii-stfu @panic-naran

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]